#the EPs seem to be very 'shut up and trust me'

[googledetective]

my thoughts about the new drdt episode...

I want to start off that this episode has not left me in a great mental state and this piece of fiction is starting to effect my reality in a negative way, currently. I do suffer from mental health issues, so please be sympathetic. If something I say seems too emotional or a bit off, that's likely why. My therapist will be hearing about drdt, lol. No hate towards drdt, it's an amazing project, and I'm amazed at how the piece of fiction is able to make me react in such a way.

1. I am not educated on ASPD or anything like that, so if I say something wrong feel free to correct me. I had a feeling that Levi likely had it from his secret, but this is a cool confirmation. I like that this is represented in a really great way, and that the reactions to his confessions are also very realistic. I like Levi a lot, but now I understand him so much more, and it makes me really appreciate him.

2. I find it interesting how Levi is so detached, as Veronika said, to everything. Even if I was not capable of remorse, I would've remembered killing my own father. I wonder what his father did to be so looked down upon.

2.5. OKAY SO HES KINDA JUST LIKE ME FR. like I stated previously I've had some bad mental health issues in the past to the point I've kicked windshields of cars in and attacked people. It is not my proudest moment, but holy shit I can relate to this a lot. It makes me so good to see someone who's done shit like I've done who's trying to change.

3. Ace really did care about Levi and considered him a friend, which warmed and broke my heart at the same time. I really hope Ace finds another friend, because he deserves to feel some comfort and joy. I hope he learns about Levi's ASPD and realizes Levi has no malicious intent towards him. I find it nice that Ace did really trust and look up to Levi though, it proves him capable of friendship and deeper feelings that people usually overlook. Great complex character.

4. I was shocked that Levi sided with David, but honestly I do too. David is a good person, and we see that later in the ep where he doesn't tell Eden what Arei said.

5. J CALLED OUT HU??? UNEXPECTED. called her a stupid argument moderator. Interesting. I love you J, but watch it.

6. Veronika's secret isn't the worst thing she's ever done- interesting. I think it could be the thing she's the most ashamed of, but you never know. It really breaks my heart for Hu, and I hope we get a backstory on her soon.

I'm coming back after point 14 and adding this: these secrets don't seem to be any of the worst things they've ever done, nor relevant to the killing game (besides "Xander's"). These secrets are personal. I think they each have worse secrets but they are too related to the killing game so they couldn't give those out.

7. Excuse you, David. Freaky ass.

8. that is NOT Teruko's secret 😭😭😭

9. This is seriously rich coming from J, as she usually escalates the situation.

10. Eden's monologue broke my heart. I am so glad David lied to her at the end, or I think Eden's heart would've been broken. This just makes me so sad.

11. "That maybe there would be a world in which we would be friends." I'm sure there would be, since your fans have created worlds that you're dating her.

12. Arei needs to genuinely shut up. This is where I get very upset and irrational. I am so fucking mad at Arei for lying to Eden. For the rest of Eden's life she's going to be wondering what she could've done or if her friendship was enough. Why the fuck would you lie and say you believed you could change, only to come back and admit you know you can't. My heart breaks for Arei though, because I believe she could've changed. This especially makes me so upset because as a previously bad person who relates to Arei and tries to change, I feel like I'm going to give up hope to do so too. Obviously I gotta overpower and not let fiction effect my reality, but it really hurts.

13. Arei's worldview that nobody is a good person mirrors David's (though David excludes Xander). Makes me really sad. I can hope, but there's really no hope left.

14. Well we know who attacked Xander (what the actual fuck). I hope we learn how that ties in later. Eden's hidden quote, "you can never go back, no matter how hard you try." maybe it's referring to this incident instead of the situationship with her friends in the past.

15. Love this.

16. WE HAD A JRUKO MOMENT!!! So happy about this!!!

17. Why the actual fuck does Whit know so much about how that hanging mechanism would work. You're making yourself look so suspicious. High and low were highlighted, which was interesting.

18. Whit said this murder would've been hard if Arei wasn't a willing victim. If she was, this just makes this case even more tragic. She may have convinced herself to give up hope and cooperated with the killer, which pains me a lot. I think this was due to David's secret.

19. I love the carousel bit! And the banter between Arturo and Whit. They had banter last trial too, so that's a continuation. Maybe they'll have a confrontation in the future.

20. NICO FUCKED BRO

21. At this point my only logical conclusion of who I think the killer could be is J.

22. Everyone is bringing up Ace's friend- Taylor! It's seriously throwing me for a loop bc that's my name!

ENDING:

To clarify, I think it's sad that Arei believes she can't change and even started doubting Eden.

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom family :) We're finally back to new eps. I wasn't ready for this episode in the least. Idk I was ever gonna be ready tbh. If this isn’t the most apt ep name ever following the last ep. Bare with me as I once again sort through my thoughts and such. I'm really struggling with the 'mini' portion of these reviews the last few eps.

Ain't nothing mini about my emotions haha But I am sure come summer they'll be more refined for sure. Also thank you to anyone who reads these thoughts and enjoys them. It's still a trip to me people appreciate my thoughts. I just want to be a ray of sunshine and positivity with these.

A source of comfort while we all go through this together. Cause that's the beauty of fandom. Going through it together. Once again wanna preface there will be ZERO tolerance for bashing of any kind. They are both going through it right now. We all love these characters so much its why we're on here. I love conversation and comments but not spreading hate. With that in mind let's start eh?

6x07 Crushed

Tamara moving out still..... Ugh. I’m so sad about this. Truly the end of an era right here everyone. Also Lucy not wearing her necklace gut punch already to my feels...Poor Lucy wants her to stay but would never ask Tamara to do that. I wanna cry already for Lucy....I hate her necklace being missing and it's very obvious it's missing. *sad sigh*

I do love Lucy taking Tamara out to fancy dinner least. Channeling her emotions into something positive. Wanting to love on her before she goes. Tamara mentioning Tim getting kicked out of Metro…She isn’t wrong it is down hill after the pinnacle of Lucy indeed. Trying to give her a compliment but Lucy isn't taking it that way. I wanna cry for a second time. She looks so distressed. *sigh* Two massive pillars in her life are now gone and it's felt in this brief moment.

Tim in his old Metro office disassembling it. My heart. You all know how much I loved him In Metro. Killing me. Also just shows how much of a nose dive he took after this Ray debacle. Grey seeing this and sighing before going in after him. Tim seems like he’s in robot mode when Wade enters. Saying all the things he thinks Grey wants to hear since he’s back. No real emotion behind it. Just the grunt mentality he thinks he should have.

Gonna be more than just his trust you’re gonna need to earn back my love….Love Wade having him to ride along with Dr. London. Anyone needs it our boy does right now. Of course Tim bites back on this idea why wouldn’t he? Wouldn’t be Tim if he didn’t. Tim saying breaking up with Lucy has nothing to do with the Ray situation. Uh... it has everything to do with that my love EVERYTHING.

Grey standing his ground saying if he wants to regain his trust this is where it starts. I love him saying breaking up with Lucy and being bounced back to patrol due to being reckless makes him question his judgement. As it should…You forget Timothy this man watched you grow with Lucy for years. Saw how much she made you grew and joy she brought out in you. Of course he is questioning your actions. He just watched you throw away the best thing ever that's ever happened to you. Your judgement is being judged severely....

I adore Wade Grey. He's not only putting Tim in his place and saying he could mandate therapy (which he would be justified in doing...) Or take the ride along. Then saying he’s taking Lucy out too. Just so he knows he is looking out for them both in this moment. The man knows what he is doing.

I can’t believe Smitty doing breakup odds. I’m incensed by this tbh. Also I want punch the dude who said Tim would’ve cheated. He would NEVER. How very dare you. I hate that list. It makes me wanna rage out so hard. If any of them knew them at all they’d know it would never be something like that. Also her and Aaron? Ewww no no no.... Lucy had every right to ream Smitty out more than she did. So inappropriate it's insane. For shame sir truly.

I'm glad she shut it down. Last thing they need is the station gossiping about them like this. They're going to anyways but Ugh I hate this whole thing. I feel sick. Of course she runs into Tim right after.... Worst timing ever. Breaks my heart because he still is excited to see her but she isn't ready for him. How could she be? He looks so sad. But Tim what are you expecting my love? No way she is ready to be near you let alone talk. This hurts to watch…Lucy trying so hard just not to have a meltdown right there in the station.

I was very excited for him to have this ride along I will say and this opening scene is why. Dr London on his ass already. I love it. As she should be. Saying he’s bringing Aaron as a buffer. Which he is… Classic avoidance attachment style. That’s our boy. She’s not wrong he prefers surface level relationships (other than Lucy...) to a deep intimacy. His default state with anyone who isn't his girl.

She has him dead to rights already. Saying it’s a defense mechanism when someone is raised by an overly strict or domineering parent. A father. She’s not wrong. We all know his history. Tim of course isn’t about this whatsoever only making her assessment about him even more valid. Their scenes starting off real strong.

Grey wanting to check in on Lucy I do love it. He’s not wrong she’s been through HELL this year. The detectives exam, Jeff Budney and now losing Tim. God this hasn’t been an easy season for her. To say she's going through it is the understatement of the century. I'm hurting for her so very much. Her entire world has been rocked to it's very core in the last week alone. Not mention everything else before this.

It’s so awkward Lucy inviting everyone but Tim to Tamara’s going away dinner…. In front of Dr. London too. That shot from Tim’s body cam seems very intentional. As he looks at everyone she’s inviting but him. Way his head goes back and forth. Grey patting Tim on the arm on the way out. *phew* Rough start to the shift.

Of course their first call is disturbingly close to what she and Tim are dealing with. Not exactly what Lucy needs. Hearing this woman talking about thinking he was the one then it just ended. *heart clutch* Crushed is an apt name for how I was feeling during this episode.

Lucy has clearly kept this all inside for too long with her reaction to the situation. Wade would never set you up like that. Just shows how hyper sensitive she is atm. Why he's doing this ride along with her. He wants to keep you sane not crazy. I wanna hug her so much. 'I do watch too much reality tv. It's my bad' Lmao. Needed a little levity. This made me chuckle.

We hit the ground running about breakups with Dr. London. Honestly no need to beat around the bush for this observation of Tim. ‘Breakups are a trigger for many men. Especially since stereotypical gender roles prevent them from seeking out help. For fear of appearing weak.’ If that isn’t Tim and this entire situation right now…

Hell that's his ENTIRE life. He was shamed into never wanting help and if he did he was meant to feel weak for it. Just like she is stating above. She is very good at her job and just getting started. Tim can't hide in any of his normal brush off statements. Which I love. She has him pegged already and it shows. Quite the opening jab from her to start this off.

Lucy looks on verge of tears at all times right now and I’m dying. Especially when Grey brings up his name. Asking if they’ve talked since the breakup? Melissa straight killing me in this shop right now everyone. Those pre tears.....Saying she thought he didn’t care about her personal life. He’s not wrong if it affects her job it does matter. The point of this ride-along. To gauge where she is currently.

‘Smart to make the connection between IA and them breaking up. ‘Just a bad week.’ Oh its so much more than that…. Lucy protects him of course with the unethical portion. Bad place or not she's not going to cast any suspicion with that. But It’s so very clear she is painfully unaware why he did this to her. To them.

Only that he’s not emotionally available to her. *sigh* This is true. The man is a disaster zone atm. I mean he’s definitely occupied mentally in a way she doesn’t understand yet. Hell I don’t even think Tim understands it really. All he knows is he think's he's toxic and she’s better off without him. Which is a huge part of this episode tbh.

So she isn't wrong he is not emotionally available right now. That much is painfully true. The joke about the Diamondbacks was funny but sad at the same time. They found good way of getting little funnies in there with Grey. I do appreciate that. I'm a sports girl so I this made me smile.

Dr London really coming at Tim in this next section. She is wasting ZERO time with him. ‘Lot of romantic feelings start out as platonic love.’ Going right for it when she says he and Lucy were friends first right? His reaction…Gonna makes me bawl Eric. Hurts to watch this. Looks like he wants to cry. Ugh Tim. Killing me softly. She is getting under his skin quicker than he was expecting and you can tell. Hitting at a very raw nerve he's trying to keep hidden. He looks so distraught and emotional when he replies 'I was her T.O.'

Tim saying he’s not depressed. Oh my love….but you are. Depressed and wracked with a massive amount of guilt. ‘I broke up with her.’ So so defensive. Can’t let good doctor see this whole thing is crushing him. That would be weakness. He is fighting off a panic attack in this moment. So unsettled by this entire interaction. She is picking up on that guilt that is all but exuding out of him in this moment.

She really brings it home saying internalizing guilt and shame leads to self directed anger. Self harm and suicide. If that isn't Tim Bradford my god. The self directed anger is him in spades. His face while she tells him all this.. Oh my lord. She has him dead to rights once again. He is experiencing so much guilt about it and it’s written all over his face. Tim is barely keeping it together while she is telling him stonewalling will only get him sidelined. Honestly I’m glad she’s confronting him like this. Coming at him so hard cause Tim needs that especially right now.

He can’t have passive people in this life when it comes to this kind of stuff. The one person who could knock sense into him he’s pushed away. So Dr. London being here is much needed. Of course Tim snaps at Aaron cause he can’t handle what he’s currently going through. Lashing out because what she is saying to him is true and he isn't able to handle it. Hitting very close to home. So he's defaulting back to S1 Tim in this moment. Destroying Aaron in the process..

I love them talking about Tamara and the unconditional love Lucy has shown her. It’s so true. It’s that love that gave her courage to leave. Even though it's hard to watch happen. It shows what accepting unconditional love can do for you. Lucy bringing back to Tim because how could she not? Mentioning about letting people go even if you really care about them them. *sigh*. You can tell she is on the verge of tears once again.

That feeling where you've been keeping it inside for far too long. It comes out in anything you talk about. Like right now in this moment. Even talking about Tamara is cycling back to Tim and it shows how deeply upset she is. How could she not be? She is losing two of her people in one fail swoop. It's a miracle she hadn't lost it sooner than this moment tbh.

Lucy crushing me some more in this episode. Further proving she has zero idea why Tim did what he did. How he could let go so easily. It was a blindside for us all but none more than for her. His person. The one who never ever expected him to leave her side. Tim did leave her with a cheap cliche nonsense about deserving better. It's so much complex than that but I can see why she is so angry about that. She deserved better than that.

It’s what upset her so much in that 6x06 scene. Because it felt like a cop out to her. When it’s so much deeper than that but Lucy doesn’t know that. Thats what killing me and her. Lucy going off saying it was her decision to make what she deserves. It’s true. She is so justified in saying this. Sadly Tim made that decision despite her willingness to love him no matter what.

Took away her choice to keep him even if he felt he wasn't worthy. Wasn't just HIS choice to make. That's what pissing her off and rightfully so. He doesn’t understand the unconditional love she had to give him or how to accept it. All he could see was how much better she was without him. All she wants is a real conversation with him and she didn't get to have that. He took the choice away from her and she's left holding the emotional bag of it all and it sucks.

Punches keep rolling with Dr London. Attacking his problem at it's damaged root. As much as he is trying to bury it he cannot hide from her and her assessment of him. This is a huge turning point in the ep. Tim saying he owns his mistakes and moves on. So cut and dry and she isn’t having ANY of it. Nor should she. He hasn’t moved on in the slightest. Once again pegging him for not only not being over it but having his whole identity being wrapped up in acting honorably. If he was past that he wouldn’t have ended things with Lucy. We wouldn't be here. But he feels not worthy and not honorable enough for Lucy so he cut ties.

Her noting it’s had a devastating effect on his self esteem. Which is why he is punishing himself. i.e He let the love of his life go. He feels he doesn’t deserve such things for being so un-honorable. My broken boy. Tim isn’t sure what’s she is getting at. Asking what she's talking about? She continues to portray him accurately. That he is punishing himself by depriving himself of something he loves. Something that brings him joy. Or someone....Clearly that someone being Lucy.

The joy she brought to his life he no longer feels he deserves. Lucy was the one constant in his life that made him happy. So he’s depriving himself of it in order to punish himself. This sounds so harsh and severe but I relate to this. When I was new at my current job. I wasn’t very good at first. I was down right on the verge of being fired. I got a game plan to fix myself from my leader. BUT I was punishing myself for not being good enough in the first place. How did I do this? I took away something I loved and brought me joy. Music.

I refused to listen to music during my job because I felt I didn’t deserve it. I wouldn’t let myself enjoy it till I was better and had earned it back. I got to a place where I let myself have something I loved back and it helped so much and ultimately got me through it. So I relate to Tim doing this to himself i really do. He is denying the one person who brings him joy because of that self-punishment. He feels he has failed who he should be therefore he can't have what he wants and needs most. Lucy. You can really see it hit Tim by time Aaron rejoins them. She hit the nail on the head and Tim is feeling it.

Lucy spotting Tim and touching her tattoo SO MUCH. Ugh my heart. Her grounding method to remind herself she's a survivor. The problem with all that is him being the reason for that reminder. Which just hurts. I'm not crying you are....Tim so out of his depth all he can do is be awkward with his ‘Clocking out?’ Babe....No...(Also I feel personally attacked by this song they chose for this scene.)

Lucy calling him out for it instantly. Because well she’s his person. Bad place or not she is always gonna tell him what he needs to hear. Won't let him hide behind niceties. Confronting that things aren't ok between them and she won't let him use it to hide. Asking for a real adult conversation with him. One which he is NOT ready for. This hurt to watch not gonna lie. This whole situation hurts.

Tim deflects….with another cheap answer of saying he can’t give her what she wants. Ugh. You are everything she wants you foolish man. I don’t blame Lucy for cutting that convo off at the knees. She wanted more depth from him and got nothing in return. Telling him he has more to figure out than she realized…and feeling like she is no longer than person to help him with that.

My heart is breaking all over again… Lucy always felt she was his person to get him through anything and to hear this only hurts her further. Coming to that realization and taking off because of it. The song running through this scene is poignant and hurtful…Also the continual clutching to her tattoo as she departs from him. I'll just be weeping in the corner don't mind me....

I wasn't expecting the scene we got here in Grey's office. But was so pleasantly surprised. My hope was that Dr. London broke through to him. That his ride along with her wouldn't be a one-off. I’m so proud of Tim I can't even tell you. To not only see he has work to do but to ask if he could start seeing her as a patient. He seemed disappointed she didn't mandate sessions. Which he needed so he could advocate for himself. Blair had pegged him early on and I think this will be so so good for him.

His healing journey is starting now and I’m so excited for him. Even though my heart is outside my chest right now for our couple. This is going to be good for Tim. I know people have been weird about Dr London. I haven’t gotten a bad feeling from her. I could be wrong but haven't gotten that. I think this is the healing Eric was talking about. That journey he needs to be in order to find his way back to Lucy. Grey's line was perfect. It's SO hard to ask for help. Tim can see something is wrong and wants to fix it. This is a beautiful start to this journey for him.

This final scene with Tamara and Lucy made me cry. This whole ep has made me cry really. Their relationship has always been one of my favorites. To watch how they’ve both grown. How Tamara learned to trust again and receive that unconditional love Lucy had to give. Gah I love it so much. Took a broken untrusting girl and molded her into a confident bad ass. I've never been able to classify what they are. They're sisters, friends and family all wrapped up in one.

Hard to watch Lucy lose this piece of her life on top of everything else. Tim may have a lot of growth to do but I think Lucy too has room to grow from this all as well. She has been given quite the bad hand in this season. Maybe she can get some direction and clarity what she wants to do with career and such. I hate that she has to be the collateral damage to everything this year. It's hard to watch. But I am interested to see how she handles it all. See how she stands after all this. I think as hard as this is will end up making her more resilient.

Lucy been struggling with her own stuff this year as well. Being so good about pegging everyone around her but being blind in her own self awareness. it's going to be interesting to see how Lucy handles everything moving forward. I hope you all know how deeply my heart breaks for her. I don't like seeing her hurt anymore than I do Tim. I wanted to cry for her most of this episode. That being said I do think this growth journey will be good for her as well. Like Eric said she'll be ok they'll grow stronger from it. Can't wait to see how it plays out.

I wasn’t expecting one more scene with him reaching out like this. Telling her she was right. He’s mad himself. That stark realization that is coming over him. My god I’m so proud of him I could burst. Not only advocating for himself but telling her it was an emergency. When everything inside him is trying to do the 'honorable thing' and not call it an emergency when it is. To see he's not being a burden by reaching out like this. It’s so hard to take care of yourself when you don’t think much of yourself. It’s a foreign feeling and to act on it even more so.

Learning it’s ok to ask for help, to be imperfect, to set healthy boundaries and grow. Not an easy place to get to. This scene is HUGE for Tim. Now I mean this in the nicest way I can muster but If you can't grasp how groundbreaking this is for him you don't get him as a character at all. Nor do you understand the gravity of this SL/situation. Of what this final scene represents for him. Tim is seeing something is broken within himself and he doesn't know how to fix it. All he knows is something is wrong and he doesn't want to feel this way anymore. He wants to understand why and to get better.

I know I spent most of my 20's running away from therapy. Saying I didn't need it. That it was non sense. Pushing everything down and deflecting like Tim did. Wrapping my identity in the same things. Being SO DAMN HARD on myself. I still struggle with this but learning to give myself more grace. I can't properly explain the feeling you get when you realize you can't out run your demons anymore. What sets off something inside you that says 'I don't feel right, I don't know how to fix it but I know it's time to.' All I know is what sets it off is different for everyone.

For me it was the fact that I was set off by a kind comment. It was from a sweet lady who was a client of mine. Who commented on earrings my mother had gotten me. I hadn't thought much of it then she looked me in the eye with so much sincerity and said 'Your mother must love you very much.' That comment just hit me so hard. Triggered me. Cause some of my deepest seated trauma comes from my mom. I remember getting in my car and crying after. Texting my sister and telling her I thought it was time I got help. All I knew was something was wrong and it was clawing to the surface and I couldn't ignore it any longer.

That's Tim in this moment. Ray resurfacing was his demons coming up for air and not going away. This is his 'Come to Jesus.' moment about himself. Knowing what Dr. London was telling him today rang true. He just doesn't know to handle it and is reaching out for help to sort it out. Now He couldn’t gotten to this place without Lucy let’s not forget that. Tim wouldn't be in the place he is without her. BUT this is not Lucy's responsibility to fix. Nor should it be. As much as we love her being his person, this is Tim journey to go on.

Now my family/friends got me to place where I could see I needed help. Just like Lucy has for Tim. But it was up to me to take the first step. That's what this scene represents for him. His first step on his journey to healing himself. He knows he has work to do and I know he'll do it. He and I are alike and he will put his all into this. I'm excited the writers did what they did in this ep. Shows they're going to put the proper care into this SL. I can see a pathway way to their healing now and I feel like I can breathe for the first time in three weeks. I'm excited to see where the rest of the season goes for them both I really am. As always thank you for any likes, comments or reblogs I get for these they mean the world.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford. Mostly lol

I like the idea of Celina moving in but she’s not wrong it would be an emotional minefield… but do love the idea of her living Lucy I don’t want her to be alone. Have one little win for her.

This was the song during that finale scene. Thank you D to finding the link above. it's Chenford Personified in this ep. Once again whoever is doing this songs. You need a damn raise this hurt so good. The lyrics were so Poignant and painful. These one were my fav. 'I miss you. I miss you. I’ll always forgive you."

She will forgive Tim because that's who Lucy is. One of the many reasons Tim fell in love with her. That never ending desire to trust people and forgive them. To see the best in them. She will look at the deeper meaning of his actions and help him past them once he gets there himself. He will have to earn that forgiveness of hers and I have no doubt he will.

This will be a process of that I have no doubt. It won't be quick or easy but my god it'll be worth it. They always are. I don't expect this to be resolved by seasons end but I do expect them to be on their way there by the finale. This is a beautiful growth journey they're about to embark on and I'm ready to go on it.

[akaikali]

TMAGP EP 30 SEASON FINALE REACTION (SPOILERS)

OH MY GOD IM IN CLASS OK HERE WE GO READING THE TRANSCRIPT I'LL LISTEN LATER

i hate the episode name btw

SAM YOU FUCKING IDIOT SHE'S NOT ANGRY YOU'RE IN DANGER YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER AAAAAAAA YOU'RE GONNA GET YOURSELF KILLED (also the transcript saying he sounds "ill" i don't like that)

"alice means well but she doesnt really understand" oi celia what do you mean she doesn't understand she got attacked by the same thing sam did

"my head is killing me" i dont think this is a normal headache ALSO IM SO SUSPICIOUS DONT TAKE THE PILLS SAMAMA KHALID COME ON

"all goes to plan" WHAT CELIA WHAT (they say like they're surprised that she's sus)

"ticket officer, not paid enough for this" NONE OF US ARE BUDDY

oh jesus christ colin is gonna end up dead isnt he. and possibly teddy too. both of them acted the same way based on alice saying she was busy

waiy. colin is in the office, but lena and gwen are in the office too?? also lena is gonna end up dead and gwen is gonna feel guilty isn't she

OH NEVER MIND. GWEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET FUCKED. I REALLY HOPE LENA GETS TO GO HOME TO HER SPOUSE AND GOES "yeah fuck THAT I'm glad I'm out of there"

wait they KNOW it was one the train??? wtf???? and why is celia so calm about this

"what unit did you say it was?" "Seventeen-" SEVENTEEN RIGHT HERE-sorry I'm coping with jeonghan's enlistment date okay

CELIA WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO YOU MEAN CALL IT A HUNCH. GIRL ARE YOU SERVING THE EYE?????

"we want your teeth" JARED HOPWORTH??? IS THAT YOU????

now who the FUCK is this custodian hold on checking the VA list-ok nvm not breekon or hope i was wondering bc. yknow. custodian. maybe a reference

this custodian is so real he's like "yeah no this ain't any of my business you do you boo"

LMFAOOO THE TAXI DRIVER THINKING SAM IS CHEATING ON ALICE WITH CELIA AND THAT SHE'S GOING TO KILL THEM BOTH

THE CUSTODIAN JUST YELLING "SHUT UP" IS TAKING ME OUT OH MY GOD AND THE KNOCKING ACTUALLY STOPS

get archivisted bro

oooo okay so hilltop centre got a bloody history. but also who is this "he" that hired the custodian? also the fact that he refuses to come in the daytime is very interesting because usually people would find it less creepy at daytime but he seems to be more comfortable at night?? which is giving the dark but ok

poeple ARRIVED???? NO WAY THEY CONFIRMING THE CRACK AT HILLTOP ROAD CONNECTS HERE ALONG WITH MOST PROBABLY OTHER UNIVERSES

"why the outfit was so mismatched, why the clothes were been pinned in place" okay this is kind of reminded me of the stranger for no particular reason????

OH THE FUCKING OWNER DIED OKAY

SORRY AS HE TURNS TO CONCRETE?????? WHAT????

a precipice????? sorry is there a whole-ass different world??? also celia wtf do you mean "almost"??? yeah sam its about time you asked her more questions

Sam's headache is not comforting me i don't think its normal WOOOOOO CONFIRMATION THE UNIVERSE-JUMPER CELIA

ahhh there it is. she was using him as a balance because she hoped getting him close enough to the magnus institute would make him enough a balance.

IS THE ARCHIVIST STOPPING HER???? ALSO SAM WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE YOU JUST TELLING HER TO DO IT????

god sam you fucking idiot i love you. she betrayed you and lied to you and yet you still fought the archivist for her. also alice coming here worries me because i think she has a close connection to the magnus institute too and she might get sacrificed

NOT AGAIN???? OH MY GOD DID HER PARENTS DIE IN HILLTOP ROAD?????

gwen you're gonna get yourself and everyone killed oh my god

...see i dont know if i trust that now. i know celia hesitated but who's to say she wouldn't take the opportunity to push sam? or even not done anything when she had the chance to save him? i mean...i guess she did say "even though..."

MAN. SAM. I KNEW YOU WERE PROBABLY GONNA DIE FIRST BUT DAMN. STUPID MAN. I LOVE YOU.

i dont think sam is dead i mean celia fell through the rift and lived, who's to say sam couldn't do the same? the question is, which universe did he fall into? and will celia tell alice the truth about what she was planning?

mainly, though, i need to know whats going on with colin because WHAT DID HE MEAN WITH FR3DD1 WHAT HAPPENED. AND WHAT IS GOING ON WITH TEDDY.

[red-balloon12]

A more put together rant/review for Murder Drones EP: 6

(Spoilers Below)

Okay…so now that I’m more calmed down about the recent murder drones episode, I can express my thoughts a bit more….calmly.

So first off: Tessa and J-

I really thought the main group was gonna fight Tessa and J but I was surprised when they didn’t. I don’t have that many thoughts for J but seeing N and V reunite with J was pretty sweet (if only Uzi shut up about killing J for once. That would have been nice) but as for Tessa, Tessa was pretty badass, the whole thing worth the raptors not being able to handle the sight of actual blood was interesting. And that kinda adds to the whole thing about the humans trying to wipe out the drones asap. Despite Tessa helping the group, I don’t fully trust her and I feel like N and Uzi (mostly N) is/are gonna have to fight her at some point.

The “New Bots”, Moose Head and Cowboy Egg Baby-

I mildly enjoyed these too. They kinda remind me of those characters you see in a zombie apocalypse that’s been there for a while and had gotten the hang of how things worked. Moose Head obviously knows Uzi’s mom and it seems like the show is setting up a SU like resolution where Uzi’s mom as actually kinda bad and did some horrible stuff both on her own and under the influence of the Absolute Solver. Moose Head also knew how to deal with the disassembly drones. Putting magnets on their heads. I don’t think anyone said anything about the magnets yet so I’m gonna. I wonder if the magnets are gonna come back. That was a very interesting piece lore that literally no one’s talking about.

As for the egg boi….I don’t have a lot to say about him except….baby. Precious baby.

And now for the part you’re probably waiting for…

Nuzi and V’s death-

I know I’m in the minority when I say this…and I know this isn’t what the NUzi shippers need right now but I need to say it so that I can have clarity.

I can’t or will never be able to ship/support Nuzi as long as V is dead.

I know this is petty of me but please let me explain my reasoning.

The fact that Nuzi’s first sign of mutual attraction came in the SAME episode as V’s death rubs me the wrong way for several reasons. First of all, N’s feelings for Uzi legit came out of no where. Before episode 6 it was clear that Uzi had a thing for N but nothing in the past episodes gave me an indication that N liked Uzi back in that way. We know that N deeply cares for Uzi, yes but his way of caring for her gave me “big bro” vibes rather than “I’m in love with you” vibes.

N’s mutual attraction to Uzi doesn’t feel earned to me. It just feels shoe horned in so we can finally say that N and Uzi do like each other. And I don’t need N to be like “yeah! I love Uzi!” But they could have given us N longingly glancing at Uzi while she’s fighting or when she isn’t looking. SOMETHING to indicate N did like her back. My dude didn’t even blush once at Uzi before episode 6.

And then we have V’s death. V’s death ALSO doesn’t feel earned because like I said in my pre post about this, V’s been sidelined for the majority of this show. I know for a fact that there’s people in the fandom that didn’t give a damn about her death/celebrating her death and as malevolent as that is, I can’t fully blame them because V’s role in the show didn’t have much impact in the grand scheme of things. Her time with N and Uzi consisted of her terrorizing Uzi, keeping things from N and even temporarily killing him and needing to be rescued by the both of them. And through out the episodes, this formula mostly doesn’t change.

Sure there’s the scenes where she’s looking at how N and Uzi interact and she’s probably feeling left out and less sure about her chances with N, but there wasn’t a time where N or Uzi (especially Uzi) had a real heart to heart with V that would warrant the audience feeling bad for V/caring about her death. There’s a reason why the majority of people pissed about her death and also eNVy shippers.

And then when V finally gets that big amount of growth for her character, she dies. It just feels so cheap. Like I’ve been cheated out of what could have been V finally accepting N not liking her back anymore and her supporting N and Uzi while still helping them. Or even that and her staring to be better and that revives N’s love for V as well.

V didn’t have to die for NUzi to happen. She didn’t have to die period. She SHOULDN’T have to die. Her death (as well as the feelings the scene is trying to provoke) feels unearned and unnecessary. Until I get confirmation that this isn’t what the writers were trying to do, I’m blaming V’s death on NUzi and that’s why can’t ship NUzi. If the show just TRIED harder to utilize V more, I’m convinced we could have had both NUzi AND eNVy but instead, NUzi is canon and V’s dead.

[skeletood]

New week new fun

Episode thoughts under cut:

The Ciabatta Zone:

- HE JUST WANNA BE THE HAMBURGER MAN LET MY MAN HAVE IT YOURE ROBBING HIM OF HIS DREAM HE EVEN ASKED SOOOO POLITELY DOES THIS MEAN NOTHING TO YOU. fuck all the butthead beating him up this is the worst case of beavis abuse i have ever seen LOOK HOW DISAPPOINTED HE IS

- STOOOOOOOOOOPP THIS IS LIKE KICKING A PUPPY

- clench of jealousy

- also butthead talking about his unwavering confidence make me so happy every time like yes hun, you are so great and handsome dont let nobody tell u otherwise

- yesss beavis get catty “i know what your ciabatta zone is butthead  🙄 🙄 🙄 “

- autism vs adhd

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN MOSTLY JUST GUN STUFF. THATS THE MOST AUTISTIC THING IVE EVER HEARD STFU BEAVIS. He is normal and can be trusted with weapons.

Warehouse:

- Never related to the old farts more than 6 trips to the same place because you forgot the entire reason youre there

- YOU ARE NOT A PERSON. ANDROID DETECTED. YOU ARE A FAKE HUMAN AND YOU ARE SCARING ME

- yes, do not question the overgrown man children why they are working in the same stall together it is just best not to

- it may be idiot proof but is it beavis and butthead proof. clearly they didnt think this far ahead the dumbasses

- congrats to butthead for getting over his internalized homophobia and not turning up his nose to a perfectly good man on man action! really goes to show how far he’s come along :]

That is something I’ve noticed tho, like older BnBH is clearly Still Them but they are different enough that you can tell some “maturity” or at least some level of development has taken place over the years. Like Butthead is sooooo much more laid back, shit doesn’t seem to get on his nerves as easily anymore. He has Beavis’ back a lot more frequently and doesnt just tell him to shut up(which is a change also from last season). Beavis seems almost more like the responsible one and Butthead is just silly. it’s just like!! I dunno I like the old men episodes so much theres a really nice flow and dynamic between them where they just seem content with each other :) its really really nice

Anyways lovely eps, very carefree spirit to these episodes and everyone just got to be silly yay!! :D the video segments were kinda snoozy tho but its alright

[idealisticrealism]

TCL 3x03 thoughts

Many thoughts and spoilers, as usual.

The Main things:

Given the timeframe with Fi’s journey back (and needing her in time for the Child Protective Services meeting), it can’t have been more than a day or two since the last episode.

The reappearance of Adan’s name in the credits was very confusing until Russo produced the video. I’m pretty used to the body double use now (managed to not even cry at the sight of my boy, which I'll take as progress) so my main thoughts about the vid were that it looks just like a scene from a fic idea I had last week that did make me cry, and also that if the footage is from a police body cam, I’m guessing that cop is dead/unconscious and slumped against their own vehicle given the angle and the fact they’re not moving…

Calling it right now, ‘Jeremy the handyman’ is undercover FBI. Russo is smart enough and determined enough not to put all her eggs in the Nadia basket, so I think that this is her other plan to take Thony (and through her, Arman) down. And as she later tells Nadia: nothing is ever as it seems. So I'm convinced the racist attack on the Cleaning Ladies office was fabricated by the FBI to allow ‘Jeremy’ to be introduced into Thony’s life in a way that would lead her to trust him quickly and allow him into her circle, especially with his kindness and all his sentiments about the shittiness of xenophobia and how ‘this is her home, no matter what anyone says’. I’m actually genuinely pissed about it tbh, bc Thony deserves that kindness and support for real, instead of having her isolation and fear and vulnerability preyed upon by people who want to throw her behind bars just because she didn’t play by the rules of their flawed and biased system…

Sigh honestly though, Thony is too stubborn and short-sighted for her own good. Like yes she saved Soledad’s life by ignoring Dante’s orders, but in doing so she risked her own life as well as Fi and Chris’ lives, and also jeopardised her relationship with both Ramona and the CPS worker who is responsible for deciding if Luca should be taken from her or not. At least she’s written consistently in that she always tries to do the ‘right thing’ and save the person in front of her, but that means she often overlooks the potential consequences of taking that action and the overall balance of good vs bad that would come out of it. Like I’m guessing she’s one of those people who absolutely hates the Trolley Problem lol

Well now we know how Paolo’s money comes into play… funny that if he’d never given Chris the money, Chris wouldn’t have been able to give it to Camila and her mum, which means they wouldn’t have come on the crossing, so he would have never had to fight the guy to defend Camila, and wouldn’t have ended up getting stranded in the desert…. Again, this show really is great at demonstrating those ‘well-intentioned actions leading to bad outcomes’ moments 

This ep is really trying to give Jorge a bit more depth, from him being all cute about Violeta’s soccer practice (showing he’s an involved dad who is also laid back and knows how to have fun, not one of those intense/pushy ones), and how his warnings to Thony have become less like threats and more like well-meaning advice. He’s willingly acting as Thony’s chauffeur rather than sending an underling to do it, and he’s also letting her debate with him on a more even level than before, where previously he just shut her down immediately. He even actually seems to listen to her about not hurting Nadia and the idea of letting Ramona meet Nadia instead (given what we see in the trailer). The scene where he finds her with the van is likely meant to look like he is hiding something, but I think he is genuinely looking for Arman and actually didn’t know that this was the van that took him, and he just doesn’t trust her enough yet to be open with her about it.  I also think he respects that she cares enough about Arman to stand up to him, to challenge him about his possible involvement– if I’m right and he truly is trying to bring Arman home safe, her persistent loyalty to Arman even in the face of danger to herself would be a big point in her favour. 

Okay what the hell is the little glass jar Thony finds, though?? Something of Arman’s? Something that they can get a bad guy’s fingerprints off of to give them a lead? A sedative medication that indicates he was drugged and taken somewhere, rather than killed and dumped?? I need answerssss

Poor Nadia is suffering through feelings of betrayal on all sides here lol. I don’t blame her at all for going to Russo and trying to save herself and Arman through a deal, but I’m so relieved that Russo’s obsession with punishing Arman has made that alliance an impossibility. Now all we need is for Nadia to cool down a little, and realise that despite everything, there’s only one person she can truly turn to… (and yes, I’ve written a fic about it lol)

“You ever notice that everyone around him turns up dead?” lollll look at this show being all self-aware about its tendency to just kill off its problems haha. But still, Russo’s got it all wrong; Arman’s not the common denominator here. He may have been the one pulling the trigger a few times, but he was almost never the one actually setting the events in motion. Instead, it’s Thony. Despite being someone who tries at all times to save lives, Thony is like an unintentional angel of death for those she encounters, and sadly Arman is going to be the next to fall.    

Other stuff:

It was interesting to see how clever the cartel is with all the different types of vehicles they use to transport people in order to avoid suspicion, I wonder how realistic that is?

I love that the show has continued its tradition of having cleaners/household staff regularly appearing in the background, highlighting the fact that even if they’re often overlooked, they’re there

The date on the bodycam is messing with my timeframe for the show based on the only other previous reference to dates that we’ve gotten, and though I know they probably just picked a random date, I don’t like it haha

That was very cool imagery with Ramona’s tea, of something shrivelled and dull being put into an intense environment and blossoming into something amazing… hmmm, wonder what they’re trying to say about Thony there haha

Fi totally ships Chris and Camila lol. I love the bond that formed between the two families (Fi protecting them in the store by putting on the Southern Belle act was awesome), and I hope Camila and her mum continue to be in the show, like maybe Fi and Thony could hire the mum as one of their cleaners and help both of them settle into life as an immigrant in the US. 

Also, the ICE raid was hard to watch, but bless the ladies in the store who helped them to hide! True allies!

The emotional song playing at the end as Fi and Chris are left behind is called 'Sister, Take My Hand' which just feels fitting for this show

Anyway, really looking forward to the Nadia & Ramona meeting next week. My wild dream of a badass coalition of mob women (Thony, Fi, Nadia, Ramona) running Vegas may just happen yet…

[osc-confessions]

hot take/confession/how is this one not on the problematic list but uh ii is honestly not fun and was at its peak in uncut s1, I say 'uncut' specifically cuz maybe I'm just a sucker for that 2000's/very early 2010's humour but while it's definitely awful it gives a sense of nostalgia and like "it's awful and I wanna throw up but also this encapsulates a time period we do need to remember" also cuz the nbphobia jokes while being bad ofc are..kinda like *the* buildup to paintbrushes coming out and when we lack that it seems so random and weird like I get new ii fans are twitter toddlers who don't know plot and can't handle any offensive jokes no matter the context or how they're built upon but sacrificing what is a very adding bit to a characters situation(?) (arc isn't the right word? Maybe it is? I mean it depends on things we'll never get told in canon since trust me the NB thing is just for the brownie points dude) isn't the best choice story wise, sure it was great PR wise cuz "oh look we fixed an issue!" (say what you want about *that* being a factor but I'm purposely avoiding it) and it makes fans think you're more progressive than the rest or smth but like- mmh just :/ idk maybe it's a me problem with not being "perfect pg purist" or whatever the world wants me to be.

Also ii s1 was just more fun, again, sucker for 2000's nostalgia and the AWFUL animation of the first few episodes fucking enamors me, and how Chris McLean's voice was in the 1st ep like yEEAh and sO and ddkdnbfjdjd sorry Chris was a blorbo in law for a while so I like him but like it was sillier it was goofier it was rando teens making their silly lil shit and enjoying it!!!!! It has their heart and soul!!!!! And sure quality matters more nowadays and going back to s1 isn't a good idea at all but I just like s1 how it is, I don't want more of it and I don't want less. It's that simple. It's a silly goofy series that captured my heart and that got taken away at just the right time...

sorryn't for the ramble i do not shut up and also im a sillygoofy goober

Yeah. I agree. I don't have anything to add.

[mejomonster]

Justice in the Dark, more on ep 2 since I can't shut the fuck up apparently even tho I just wrote a whole essay ToT

I get why the casting is who it is. In retrospect. In sitting here now lmao. Like I said I like who they cast performance wise they're doing perfect. But looks wise not all match exactly what was in my head. (Tao Ran does perfectly utterly in every way though lol). I think Fei Du was cast cause he looks a lot like fandom drawings of fei du. Not my personal image of him (my personal image of him is like slightly to the left of his most usual drawn look). But I can see a casting director thinking "yeah he'll look so much like the audio drama art and fanart etc" (also any skin smoothing just further highlights that). And Luo? Parts are clearly from the book, parts are from Zhao Yunlan (I imagine they wanted a specific kind of appeal you see in certain lead actors which he's also got here), and then i in reflection like how he looks "less intense" than fei du.

1 because fei du looks like he needs a home-cooked meal and Luo looks like he can cook it (which goes a lot more into their both romance dynamics and bigger dynamic of Luo being Feis path to healing, life, warmth, growth, him looking visually more soft and touchable and healthy and in touch with a realistic world all add to him being that For Fei Du).

2 Luo looks a bit older, just actor has quite distinct eyes (they could be similar age actors idk) and Luo seems Iike the increased stubble is more a present thing (with no facial hair in past scenes) so I think there's some choices there with age trying to be a noticeable trait. Versus Fei Du where he feels Iike a rich fantastical cold masked character out of an anime or out of Flower of Evil (he Screams protagonist from Flower of Evil energy but with even less convincing "ordinary approachable guy" ability to act, actually I think in general Flower of Evil fans and Beyond Evil fans would probably really like Fei Du). If costuming and makeup love me, over time fei dus visuals in the show may look less almost unreal and become more "looks like a random person you'd walk past" Iike Luo and Tao. As he opens up more and Luo becomes a part of his life more. So like... I get the choices on who to cast and why someone thought they'd look the part. Luo also we are seeing from Fei Dus pov (like most of the show), and Luos often snippy and ordery and it's in a way funny we see him as plain when Fei du does. In the scenes emotionally charged between them, I think Luos actor is shot quite handsomely, who's to say if that'll also be a trend of him looking more Model esque when Fei Du is emotionally open around him. (I also now that I'm settling into this show, appreciate that Luo looks like a plain everyday man sometimes. He's got model looks when the lighting flatters him. But also it not purposely played up constantly reminds me of the book - fei du in the show visually is constantly Model esque, in the book he's constantly dressed up and has peach blossom eyes and it's part of the Performance, and these visual drama choices echo that Feeling of the characters).

For the people like Me who prefer (or even need) action in their romance, im happy to report this is indeed a Flower of Evil situation! Lots of dollops of murder mystery, romance, and action! A nice little car chase was in episode 1 to set that expectation. I personally love me a good action scene, and the car scene looked significantly better than my (very low) expectations (Till Death Tear Us Apart cdrama looked decent to me though so temper yourself). Just wanted to happily report thank goodness there's murder and action in this.

Luo is handsome. (Don't trust my rants dissing on him lol) Like the scene of Fei Du as a child? I totally get why he's Captain Luo, why he's the guy who "wanted to save the whole universe." Why that day when he saw Fei Du absolutely destroyed, scared, he wanted to do anything to help him. And why he kept helping him for years after and still keeps track of him now. This is the "superhero" Luo that his team at their fondest see him as, that Tao sees him as at his best, that Fei Du saw him as when he was a child until Luo failed him (the whole world did) and Fei as a child blamed Luo for all of it to cope with the hopelessness he felt.

Just. This entire scene. I really felt that awful hopelessness. Luo Wenzhou realizing its hard to save even just one person, the looming threat he will soon try and fail to protect Fei Du and fail and fail and it will haunt him and cling on and he'll try so hard to Keep Trying as hard as it is and as much as Fei Du pushes him away and how awful it feels to Keep failing fei du. Fei Du looking at him for help, the only hand he can reach out to for it, and the realization that even this man who's like a superhero to him and an angel... can't. That no force in this world can fix this.

[unsleepingtales]

Ravening War Reactions Ep. 2!

Here we goooooo (said like Peter Pan)

Every time I remember that Colin has 6 charisma I giggle a little bit

Lou mentioned something to do with Scottish history and Brennan immediately went to Thinking Face (tm) and this is part of why I’m so excited that they’re in the same camera shot this season

Commendable 🥲

Anjali has Strong lettuce opinions and honestly? I respect it.

“Trust is bad” seems to be the motto of the season so far

BRENNAN

No one wants to trust that sneaky little radish. Unfortunately the dice deem they must.

Raphaniel has major dirt on Allium, noted.

God the name being the FDA is so fucking good.

Raphaniel has a cork board covered in red yarn and you cannot convince me otherwise

I know he’s being sneaky and suspicious etc but I’m happy that the bishop is taking care of Karna

Come on provolone! Little cheese knight!

Ooh my girl’s got demons!

“A chess piece… or at least the head of one” TERRIFYING THANKS BABE

He’s a hero. Vegetania doesn’t need heroes.

I wanna know where he goes when he thinks too tbh

Bulbian religion is fascinating to me

Colin who are you I desperately want to know

Oh she’s just murdering them okie dokie

OH that’s straight up self mutilation. Ok. Okokok.

He sneakyyyy

Raphaniel shut up they are onto you I don’t care how well Brennan rolls

Colin Provolone: big abstinence guy?

Boy what are you t a l k i n g a b o u t

“I feel bonded” “Well good luck with that” babe WHAT

Ohohohoh I do not like that language. That is fucking creepy. Nope.

A language we haven’t heard her speak before but very carefully not specifying what language it is

Child????

Amangeaux child???

Oh god that’s gonna kill me

Colin is good at his job. He IS.

Tiny chili pepper crush aaaaaaaaa

Colin <3

Making enemies: one way to know you’re on the right path!

Brennan is too good at bullshitting proverbs

A QUICHE????

Is he actually cool or is he another Johnny Spells

Raphaniel you are talking about this too knowledgeably for a man of your station. Take it down a notch.

He has Plans. He’s good at his Job.

Gross

Bishop kinda wingmanning for Karna?

Bishop stay away from the cheese man I need him to be ok

The DOME

Ooooh board games :D

NoT mUcH oF a SeCrEtS gUy yeah right ok sure bb

Karna dreamily asking about Deli’s murderous past & Raphaniel getting overwhelmed by the horny energy

Amangeaux surrogate mothering for Karna is giving me emotions

Karna! My love my light! Whatcha doin honey!

Mans kicked off a world war but he’s the guy with the hat.

Something they had in common 🥲

She can do magic but everyone needs to be so chill about it. No one say anything ok. She’s fine.

This feels like a little more than baseline trust tbh

What does a frazzled tomato look like

Oh Matt’s gory description skills are on point

Karnaaaaaa I know it’s your job but that is a child.

On the one hand I am very happy for her and glad she’s doing well for herself. On the other. Tiny child has been found out and reported.

Dome!!

Preview reactions:

*chanting* BATTLE SET! BATTLE SET!

Miniiiiiiiis

God Aabria’s makeup fucks so hard

[invisiblegarters]

The Heart Killers Ep 1

Man. I knew FOMO would get me eventually but I didn't think it would be this soon. Full disclosure, I read and hated the novel and that is a big part of why I didn't want to watch - I can already feel it coloring my opinion of the characters and trust me when I say that's not a good thing - but you know what? Fuck it. I find that I want to participate in the discussions and maybe even in the excitement for this show and I can't do that if I don't actually, you know. Watch.

Add that to the fact that almost all my shows are ending or just ended and it's a no brainer, really.

I mean, if I hate it that's what the off switch is for. No one is making me do this A Clockwork Orange style so I think it'll be okay.

Plus I can't sleep so here goes. THK ep 1. Liveblogged. Because why not, right? *cracks knuckles*

I am going to pretend I've never read the novel while I do this, so no spoilers.

You know it just occurred to me that I haven't even watched the first MV for this.

Pfft I know Khao bulked up for this but he still looks like a twink. A twink with really nice arms.

Are they gonna have him honeypot people every episode? I could get behind that.

Okay I do really like the disgust on Bison's face when the target isn't paying attention. I also don't know Thai so I can't say for sure but the subtitles make it sound like he's being very polite before shooting this dude. I appreciate that.

Okay so. Fun fact no one cares about. I read once that if you're doing something you shouldn't, running away from someone, maybe even committing a crime, it's actually really smart to wear a really bright, eye catching thing somewhere on your person. Probably not a shirt, but like, a bright scarf or pair of shoes. Because that's where people's eyes will go. Not your face, but the bright fabric.

Oh my gosh I'm gonna love Style and Kant together I can already tell. Pffft @ Kant scoping out the room though. My dude.

I genuinely find it hilarious that Kant is sitting here going on about how he doesn't want to commit but he's basically gonna be forced into it this very ep.

This music is a lot.

Can Style and Kant have hooked up before please? It's a wish.

You know what? I absolutely do not blame Bison for shutting Kant down at first. Patronizing ass. You're pretty but that only gets you so far babes.

I'd seen (and reblogged) gifs of the whole foot slide get right on top of you thing but it's very very nice to watch. It woulda worked on me haha. Frankly I'm impressed that Bison has braincells left because I am not that strong.

Hahaha Fadel wanting to be mad but having to keep Style from actually looking at the damage to his car lest he spot the dead body (Fadel, honey, maybe a JEEP isn't the best transport vehicle for those you've assassinated) is very funny.

I really think I'm gonna like Style.

Bed's more comfy anyway Bison. I'm sure you can take over there. Lol.

OH I LOVE THIS SONG it was in OF too. Am i focusing on that so I don't start acting silly? Yep shut up don't look at me.

I will say I don't actually think that Kant cares about names. Seems more like he's used to getting one than not but he doesn't seem particularly bothered by the lack. Probably he's used to more clingy one night - oh, wow okay see again seen gifs but motion is different lol.

Playboy Kant probably can't stop thinking about Bison because he actually got up and left lol. Something tells me that that's not normal for him, the way everyone teases.

Aw I like him with Babe. I hope that there are a lot of scenes with them.

Taming of the Shrew is a bit on the nose, no?

One thing i will say about Jojo's shows. I always do find new music to listen to.

How old is Bison? Twelve? Or are we supposed to get that he's kind of a loose canon because it's one or the other and considering what he got up to the night before I'm betting it's the latter.

WHY does no one in these shows actually know how to stalk people properly my god.

Kant you yourself said you wanted someone to hit it and quit it, now you're acting like that's a problem (this is not stopping my player who doesn't enjoy being played theory lol but I bet he likes being played with if you know what I mean and I think you do). But woooow he is pretty in that suit and tie. My inability to take screenshots from gaga is very depressing right now. But then agian maybe not because it'd just be me thirsting for First and other people make better moving pictures for that.

Okay Captain Chris sir using bb bro against him is low. I approve.

"Here are some photos that I'm sure Bison didn't see being taken my dude hid so well out in plain sight."

Yes I am going to love Style who hasn't put on some music just to dance around when no one is watching? Also I need to stop talking about literally every scene or I'm gonna run into the word limit before I'm done.

DUN DUN DUUUUN. Aww Bison thought it was amazing that's sweet.

Sorry Bison your brother is busy being flustered by an obnoxious but inexplicably (to him anyway I get it) attractive mechanic.

Kant babe if I didn't know better I would definitely say this was love. No one sane would eat that burger.

Oh god the chewing noises no.

The way I cringed at them nearly kissing right there with the ghost of the disgusting burger still hanging around in Kant's mouth.

Bison, babe. Get you head out of your ass Fadel means kill you. I mean I do think you're closer to the mark than he is but not by as much as you think.

Fadel has a problem with life. I love him.

Okay part of me thinks that Kant is lying about the beach thing. Why? Becuase their interactions are very flirty and fun but...I'm not really getting too much of a smitten vibe from either of them like I thought (hoped? thought) there would be. I mean they're having fun for sure, and Kant at least is absolutely looking to score again, but...

Oh Fadel. Don't you know that the more you protest the more tempting Kant becomes for your brat of a brother?

Pretty sure you'd be making Bison more tempting for Kant too, he strikes me as the type to deliberately go after things he's warned off of.

Honestly maybe he and Bison really are perfect for each other.

Also if Fadel and Kant wanted to settle their differences by making out I would not say nay (they won't this isn't Only Friends but hey. You never know Jojo did give me a brief moment of SandTop).

SEE WHAT I MEAN FADEL. Would Bison have shown up with delicious burger if Fadel hadn't made such a fuss? Maybe, but I bet Fadel's fussing made it a certainty.

Ouch ouch I just rolled my eyes so hard at Kant's line I'm genuinely proud of Bison for not doing it. Blergh.

Oooh First looks so pretty in that yellow with his hair all fluffy in the breeze. Excuse me while I absolutely don't hear any of this no doubt important conversation.

I kind of love the music when Style comes in the restaurant lol. Fadel's worst nightmare has arrived.

LOL did Kant tell him to be this obnoxious or is this just how Style flirts?

Oh my god I think this is just how Style flirts.

Hahaha I wonder what kind of taking out Fadel thinks Style means.

Ah so we're definitely dong the Taming of the Shrew thing where Bianca has beer flavored nipples (yes I know that line was from 10 Things) . I'd wondered. I find the idea less annoying than I would have thought - the added element of Kant not being as head over heels as he claims helps. Might as well toss a little jealousy into the mix. I'm sure Bison will play it up as much as possible too - he definitely likes playing, and currently this is definitely more game than anything else for him. Curious what it'll look like if and when that stops.

So far Fadel and Style are my favorite though. I like their dynamic a lot. They're ridiculous in the best ways.

I thought I'd like Kant and Bison more but they're kind of leaving me cold right now. I know it's only one episode n but they're just kinda meh to me and I can't put my finger on why. Maybe it's that despite all the flirting neither of them means it. Whereas Style and Fadel's interactions, though more hostile (seriously what the fuck kind of flirting is belligerently drinking beer after beer in someone's restaurant while they glower at you) feel more real. I'm not averse to game playing, but honestly this is why I like this kind of thing in movies. Because I'm impatient and after an hour I'm ready to see some feeling, lol.

But also (and probably more truthfully): let this be a lesson to you about reading a novel adaptation of a show before the show is released. Part of my ambivalence towards these characters is absolutely coming from doing the stupid thing, sigh.

It's just sometimes there is a fire. And it's pretty and flickery and I want to stick my hand in without thinking about the heat.

[iguananon]

Watching Them season 2

Thoughts on episodes 1 and 2, spoilers probably

Just some things I had to write down as I was watching, not a proper review.

ep 1:

Initial scene didn't really do anything for me. I don't know who this is, or who is doing this, or why I should care. Furbies just don't scare me even with their fur cut off, you know? Not my cup of scare I suppose.

The build up of suspence in the lead up to the body during the investigation is done really well. Making us focus on even the slightest details and keeping a really good suspense on why exactly the police are here.

The reveal of the body with the slow pan of only hald of the victim's face, quick cut to a wider shot and then a jumpscare was artfully done and makes the corpse terrifying. The jumpscare being just a candy being stepped on kills the tension and mood a little bit but the body more than makes up for it in the scare factor.

WHY ARE HER (the victim's) EYES SO TERRIFYING FUCKING HELL

The slow reveal of the full detailed picture with the quick cuts of various injuries is really effective, especially due to the main lead's acting that carries the tension extremely well. The final reveal of the full picture is haunting and terrifying, made even more so by all the previous glimpses we had of it. Incredibly done. chef's kiss!

The ominous tone of the next scene is quickly cut by the massive mascot head, but they still make it feel really uncomfortable until he goes out onto the stage. This actor has an incredible smile.

I love the use of wardrobe to show how this character isnt at all like all the other actors trying for the same role.

I also love the color grading change between him and his crush while they are talking and the way the camera zooms in when we first see her and how she lights up his world. The conversation between them was delightful to watch because of those things.

Yeah I was not expecting that really tense and creepy part where he just sits outside her workplace deadpan all day. He REALLY flipped a switch. I should have seen it coming, he was already a little strange when we first see him but I guess I just didn't even see those first red flags until this moment.

There are a lot of ambient jumpscares (car door closing twice in a roll???) but it does add to the anxiety that anything can happen at any time and keeps you wired and stressed. Works on me, but I think it would turn people off who aren't so easily spooked.

The last tense scene I can't tell if I was jumpscared out or if it wasnt as scary as the others. I think the first option is more likely. First glimpse of entity?

Ep 2:

Even though you know what you're in for, the reveal of the second body still manages to be terrifying and nauseating. It's like you can never be ready enough for the evil seen in this show, it will always catch you by surprise.

The scene where the cop's son goes downstairs to find the tape of police brutality rewinding and playing again and again and sees his "mother" watching it with a gigantic smile on her face is pretty scary. Until it becomes a game of what you see in your reflection, that part wasnt very scary, but the VFX makeup was really beautiful and well done in a grotesque but artistic way.

I still have no idea why we are following Edmund. Maybe he'll be blamed for the all the killings. Until he joins the main story line I'm not that interested in his scenes, even though the actor knows how to play the character in a really unsettling way. It gets a bit too goofy for me sometimes like when he is trying different costumes on. I know it's probably what they are going for, the sudden shift in tone with him. I don't trust that everything is as it seems with him, it feels like they are laying on the creep factor really heavily.

I really do think all the jumpscares end up making me really tired by the end of the episode to the point where I can no longer be scared or creeped out effectively. That's not a fault of the show but just my body's reaction of shutting down after multiple times being startled and scared.

[fighting-these-demons]

Bucch*g*ri Livebloging Ep 5

Ivy soulcaliber runs an illegal factory on the side???

Hmmmm they're mentioning the gang war. Are they all taking pipes to beat them with? They had like 2 days and the whole time they were planning all this could they not have done this earlier???

MATAKARAAAAAA!!!!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖 He's so awesome! Save the day darling!

Huh. When he's standing normal he sort of looks like Abel Nightroad.

its a sshame he's garbage. I wonder if the way that he uses English is charming or annoying to Japanese audiences?

AJ???????

Oh shit WHY IS HE NAKED AND HAPPY ABOUT IT WHAT THE FUCK????? A PINK CROWN?????

Oh damn. Matakara is about to Loose His Mind! 😨 He's like "I've done everything right. What the fuck is happening here??? This guy ain't shit. Why is Arajin so happy to be here???? Is this guy his type????"

Matakara I'm always rooting for you but if you could turn your head slightly to the left I promise you'll find 2 guys that are CRAZY about you! They're cute too!!!

"Playing king's orders."???????? WHAT DI YOU MEAN?????

GENIE ain't hearing any if this shit. He's side eyeing him so hard like "dude you're enjoying this shit too much"

Arajin brings nothing but shame on Team Sigma.

Good

How is he not the least bit embarrassed????? Thats a whole room full of guys. Damn Ivy Soulcalibur looks so pleased. Just eyeing him.

Another one bites the dust

WAIT. nah there's no way. They wouldn't do a Helen of Troy with this storyline because that would make no sense.

" Are you friends? " "No its not like that at all! "

😨😱💔

MATAKARAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!!!!

DUMP HIM!!!!!! I DONT CARE THAT IT WAS ONE SIDED!!! JUST FORGET THIS LOSER AUGH!!!!

ARAJIN!!!!!!!!!

YOU SHUT YOUR WORTHLESS MOUTH BEFORE YOU BREAK HIS BEAUTIFUL HEART

you kknow I respect that Ivy Soulcalibur has a strict dress code for his gang. They look great in the background and he instantly stands out among them.

Diva behavior. Love that for him.

😱😨

NO MATAKARA!!!!!!!

Oh he has a thing for or maybe beef with Matakara's older brother possibly.

Man wouldn't it be funny and infuriating if someone else calling Matakara "Good Boy" is what finally triggers Arajin finally standing up for Matakara?

KENICHIRO MY BELOVED!!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖

Begging them to give me even a crumb of Butler/Teacher. Just a crumb please! 😭

Hmmmm. Matakara is strong and flexible.

Can't he at least get his arms in front of him?

*sigh* Arajin you've got a long climb to decency and less than 10 episodes. You better get to it. 🙄😒

At least he's helping him

LMAO THE TWO QUESTIONS I KNEW HE'D ASK

Lmao so he IS the only character responding to Arajins insane virginity yells. I called it!

Oh no. 😨

Oh Thank God. Wait he has his own club and idol group? He must be yakuza. No way he has the money for this as a high schooler.

UH OH

Well. We've got more to the flashback

A crumbling bomb shelter. What a great place for a fight!

Arajin run. Run now. Quickly.

Wait wait wait. We STILL don't have an explanation about why Arajin was naked????

There must be a cultural context clue to that king command game or something that I just didn't pick up on.

MATAKARA!!!!!!!! 💖💖💖💖

😫😭💖

WE'RE ALL DELUSIONAL EVERY NOW AND THEN. HE NEEDS THIS DREAM TO GET HIM THROUGH EVERY DAY OF HELL AND I SUPPORT HIM!!!! I JUST WISH IT WAS ANYONE ELSE!!!!

🤦‍♀️

She needs help, but I respect the very much fictional hustle. I'm sick to my stomach but if it were literally any other guy in the crowd then I'd be cheering her on so.

HERE WE GO

🤦‍♀️

At least him doing this makes sense because genies long lost rival lover is wholesale possessing him.

I'm not a fan of this type but damn does he play it well! Suave as hell! 🎉🎉🎉👏👏👏👍👍👍

WHSISJSJSSJSU HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF AN INESCAPABLE PROPOSAL/ROMANTIC GESTURE???

This is beautifully cathartic. 10/10

Oh NOW we get the explanation lol. Amazing. He seems to know that he can't trust this clearly duplicitous man though si that's good.

Poor Genie.

Thanks Incest Ingenue! You've put him back on a path. Is it a good path? I dunno. But it's certainly a path.

I know too many anime tropes honestly. There's another one for Veef with one of the other gangs heads. It was Kenichiro after all! And I bet it's related to Matakara's brother.

Hmmmm interesting. If he does thay often you'd assume there'd be preexisting scarring.

😨😬

That sounds rapey as all hell. Comparing stopping at noting -even murder- to get revenge and get kenichiro and comparing it to Arajin losing his virginity. Sounds like he wants to rape Arajin or arrange a kidnapping or drugging to help Arajin rape someone else.

KENICHIRO!!!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

Uhg. Of course he don't like you bitch you play dirty with weapons when it goes against the creed of the group like????? Your crush and devotion don't mean shit if you fold to suit yourself whenever. 🤷‍♀️

No wonder they dumped ur ass.

Oooooooh 2nd story no guard rail high stakes fight!!!!!!!

I don't think I'll ever see his beautiful eyes but I headcanon them as a lovely shade of lilac. 💜

DAMN EVERYONE HERE HAS A STRAIGHT HUY HALL PASS FOR THIS MAN

I would too if I was a guy I get it.

TEAL TERROR SAVES THE DAY!!!!! GO DARLING GO!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖💙💙💙💙💙

Ah yep. Here comes the rape suggestion.

Hmmmm I wonder if it's the rape suggestion with the hand gripping his shoulder from behind with enough force to hold him in place while his own hands are between his asscheeks assumedly against his asshole and it all suddenly overwhelms him?

Like

Or if it's his heart pulling a Grinch and growing 3 sizes this day?

GENIE is noticing too.

LMAO THE CLOSEUP ON HIS HANDS IN HIS OWN ASS

🤣

Ivy Soulcalibur you're gay as the day is long you're so full of shit

HIS HEART GREW 3 SIZES IN RAGE GOOD FOR HIM

Yep blue genie is possessing him for sure. I wouldn't be surprised if it's a 24/7 shared consciousness thing. Clearly whatever they've got going is working for them.

BATEFOOT????? IN THE BOMB SHELTER RUINS???? EVEN GIANTS SUCCUMB TO DIRTY NEEDLES BABE NOOOOOOO

😭

MATAKARA AND TEAL TERROR!!!!

Here he comes! Arajin!!!!

Why do they still want to fight???

JAVASCRIPT AND PINK PETALS END!!! 💖💙💖💙💖💙

[madraleen]

Bungo Stray Dogs - Season 2 A highly unconvincing "I like the anime a ~normal~ amount" commentary.

-i'm about to start s2 and i'm giggling like a schoolgirl about to meet her crush. i'm all "I MISSED YOU, DAZAI!" i finished s1 yesterday. THERE WAS NO TIME TO MISS NO DAZAI! and yet.

-i already thought we were on the saddest ep so far, with dazai saying he loses everything he wants, but then the kids got blown off and... yeah. we're in the dark timeline. i came out here to have fun and...

-ranpo?? bumping into oda?? i was not expecting that.

-aha aha ha, bungo stray dogs, so whimsical, then why am i crying...

-and then dazai fulfilled his "i want to help people" goal and found friends :'). so lil bb has been with the agency two-ish years. okay. okay. i love dazai. okay.

-i'm glad the ending titles are keeping the theme of dazai tenderly touching his people

-i can't believe i'm saying this, but i feel bad for akutagawa. he needs help. like in life.

-this is the most intensely i've binge-watched something in a long time. and i don't binge-watch, i need breathers. but no. it's dazai et al or nothing.

-lol the agency in the opening: more or less normal. kenji-kun: holding a street sign. as you do.

-MY MAN DAZAI JUST BITCH-SLAPPED ATSUSHI

-"stop pitying yourself. pity yourself, and life becomes an endless nightmare." hi i love dazai

-i love that atsushi's emotional growth isn't a straight line. he thought himself worthless and useless. then he found strength. then he backpedaled when he got rattled. then dazai slapped him and he sort of regained his composure. and so on. it's very realistic, feels intentional, and not inconsistent at all, because there's always something triggering the back and forth

-HEEEEELP IT'S ANGO!

-MOBY DICK AHAHAHA nice

-oh gosh the plan to destroy the city is terrible and also so smart

-YES! YES! AN AGENCY-PORT MAFIA ALLIANCE YES! YES PLEASE LISTEN TO ATSUSHI'S BRILLIANT IDEA YES

-for the record, since i talked about weak plot in s1, i am enjoying the s2 plot, i'm yelling at the screen and everything

-DAZAI AND CHUUYA ALLIANCE AAAHHH

-DAMN YOU, THE WAY CHUUYA YELLS DAZAI'S NAME WHEN HE'S HIT BY THE TENTACLES! SCREW YOU! i am soft

-AND THEN HE RUNS TO HIM?? TO CHECK IF HE'S ALRIGHT?? AND TELLS HIM HE'S HURT PRETTy BAD?!?! this is too much for me

-wdym the tentacles aren't an ability. also i love dazai

-"let's just give up and die" errr... my fictional husbands, all two of them, seem to have a pattern… (see: “give up on your dream and die,” aot, vol x, page y, panel z)

-DAZAI CALLED CHUUYA PARTNER I CANNOT I LOVE THEM TOGETHER

-i kinda love how ranpo's biggest obstacle is himself and his inability to accept that he isn't an ability user. if he could do that, they'd be out of the book in a second

-oh. oh atsushi and akutagawa in the same solo infiltration. that's gonna go well.

-i'm so genuinely excited to resume rewatching every time

-akutagawa, my man, do you really think THIS IS THE RIGHT TIME TO KILL ATSUSHI? yeah, "yare yare" indeed, dazai, control your children!

-i know he's our villain, but damn, dazai, show an ounce of attention to akutagawa, i feel sorry for him

-akutagawa and atsushi accidentally finding release and relief through each other shut up i love them :"). be careful, little ones

-the city is about to be destroyed and dazai is playing therapist to kyouka, i love this show

-the little baby strays working together :') (*atsushi and akutagawa)

-akutagawa keeps saving atsushi, lmao

-KYOUKA-CHANNN :")))

-YOU JUST DEFEATED THE HEAD OF THE GUILD, AKUTAGAWA, DO YOU GET THAT

-yesss, dazai praised akutagawa :")))

-he wanted to be sure for the real disaster, he says. s2: an elaborate real-life training arc from dazai to his baby strays. But, my man dazai, what was the fail-safe?! what if the baby strays failed?! i understand it’s all about belief and trust, but, MY MAN, the entire city was at stake!

-ABILITY: CRIME AND PUNISHMENT AKSFJNJKSSG I AM EXCITED (also the fact that dostoyevsky's va is ayato and luocha's va, does not compute)

-I LOVE SEASON 2 SO MUCH :"))) It’s just proof of how a story can be serious and violent and dark and still have a fundamentally feel-good vibe. misleadingly feel-good that is, ‘cause once you take a moment to take in what’s happening, it’s more like, “DERANGED! EVERYONE IS DERANGED!” but in a feel-good way.

-i really like that people stay in the story. that they're not one-off antagonists/allies.

-I wish wish wish i were familiar with more of the actual authors. i don’t think it takes away from the enjoyment if you don’t know them, but when you do know them, the references are like easter eggs and it’s delightful.

[ruminate88]

More Abuse from Cody and Jake!

Cody had randomly broke up with me after he had been love-bombing me, I sent him a super long text message in June, saying how I miss him and still loved him. He read it but he didn’t respond. That made me so sick!!

After my trip, I come back home so disappointed and hurt. Suddenly Jake showed back up in my life. He found a way to contact me and apologized for exploiting my private photos but when I confronted him about the possibility of him being a “catfish”, Jake freaked out! Insisted for me NOT to ever say that. It wasn’t true… Then why did Jake get so defensive?

I had googled Cody too till I was blue in the face, also making sure he was the guy in his photos since I was too embarrassed to FaceTime him and he wasn’t asking me to FaceTime either!!! I moped around the whole summer just confused why Cody randomly dumped me. I was googling him so much, I was able to find his birthday and other information about him. So in September on his birthday, I commented on his SoundCloud “Happy Birthday” and told him I hope he was doing well and had a good summer.

BOOM, one night I get a new KiK message from Cody, from a new account that has a new selfie of him!!! He messaged me “Hey” and suddenly we were talking again!! I was beyond surprised and shocked. So excited and hopeful!! Cody told me he was sorry he ignored my text over the summer and thanked me for wishing him happy birthday. He also told me that he finished his EP “Virgo” that would I please download it for .99 on Apple music AND that over the summer he got a new girlfriend named “Ashley” who he really liked and wanted to be “faithful” to her. Yes I was frustrated, jealous and still very confused but just happy Cody was talking to me again. I bought his song on Apple Music and was so surprised how much I liked it!! (We had similar taste in music) I googled the record label to make sure his name and photo was on there and it was. (It was not a popular record label or well known but still legit) I tried to talk to Cody as “friends” but we all know I was secretly hoping to win him back!!!

As Cody and I began to talk again, one night he started to flirt with me again and ended up sending me nudes. We had cybersex but then he told me he didn’t wanna cheat on his new girlfriend. I said I understood but truly I didn’t. During this time, Cody opens up wide to me about his list of problems. Tells me he’s bipolar, a narcissist (which I googled it but not in depth at all had no idea it was emotional abuse just thought he was full of himself) and he also named and other personality disorder that I can’t remember the name of it but I googled about it and tried so hard to help Cody!! Cody also said he isolates himself often, even from his own mother that she claims he’s a very cold person to deal with and mean. Eventually after long talks about him, he started flirting with me again and then one morning text me saying he was inside his car in the parking lot of his collage, that he didn’t wanna go into class because he’s so “broke “ and says to me, “I just need you here to fix me. You’re the only one who can help me and I just need you!” I’m so surprised and felt so connected to hm in that conversation. He also sent me a photo of a new tattoo he got on his arm but he seemed so disappointed in himself and his life. He went on and on about how I’m the only one he’s comfortable to talk to and how much “I understand him”. That night started up the love-bombing again. Some how he never mentioned other girlfriend, he acted like she was “long gone” and he told me, “I’m still obsessed with you, I never stopped being obsessed with you.” Told me he wished “we were on our own planet just him and I” said no one gets us and how we are. Cody tells me how bad he wants me and needs me.

He continued love bombing me but at some point “shut me out” said he was isolating from everyone, not to bother him. I sent him so many text saying he could trust me that I was there for him to please let me back in. Later he responded and said I was the only exception that he was ignoring everyone else even his mom! I thought that was so crazy and sad I didn’t understand and felt a little over my head but because I was so “attached” with Cody, I was determined to be there for him. We continued to love-bomb, was so close, talked music and his favorite group was “Tri-Tonal”. They had a song titled “Electric Glow” and one day I decide to do a short song cover of the chorus from that song on my keyboard and I sang. I posted it just for fun and Tri-Tonal retweeted it!! I was so shocked and thought Cody would be ecstatic about it!! When I asked Cody, “Hey wow did you see Tri-Tonal just retweeted my video??” CODY WAS JEALOUS! His legit response to me was, “Yeah, I saw. I don’t understand why they did that…..” 🙄 Wow! I was hoping he would be so happy his “girlfriend” was noticed by his favorite band but I realized it only threatened him and made him jealous. Sad!

Despite Cody “isolating me”, being “jealous of me” or even having that other girlfriend that he never said if he broke up with her or not, I was ever so hopeful because of the love-bombing he was doing to me and the way he kept treating me as if I was the only one he “trusted.” Things got even MORE interesting because eventually one night while cody and I were talking/flirting, he says to me, “You should so fly out here to SF and move in with me!! Wouldn’t that be so fun if we lived together??” WOW I was so surprised and caught off guard!! We hadn’t even FaceTimed or talked over the phone, just texted and now we are talking about “moving in together”. He’s acting so excited and he’s got me excited!! We talked about what it would be like and of course how we were going to have sex. We had it alllllll planned out. I was over the moon so happy. 🥰🔥

HOWEVER, as we continued to talk about moving in with each other, Cody confesses he’s still in touch with his other girlfriend and hasn’t told her yet about our plans to move on together that he’s afraid to “hurt her” and tells me he’s having second thoughts. I can start to feel him slightly puling back from me and I’m so nervous and scared to lose him! I start to push in harder, thinking I could prove my love for him and my loyalty. I’m working so hard to impress him and make him want me!! I flirted harder and he did continue to cyber sex me but still I felt him pulling back and I knew I was losing him.

Sadly my biggest fear was coming true! Cody told me it was too hard to hurt other girlfriend and was us moving in together such a good idea? He started trying to find excuses to why maybe we wouldn’t be happy together even though I was pouring out my heart and soul to him daily. I was professing my undying love to him without end hoping it was enough but it was not. He was discarding me against my will. I couldn’t seem to back off from him, I was just too attached to him!!! It was so difficult to face reality that he was phasing me out and keeping other girl even though we just were making plans to move in together.

I was desperate to keep Cody even if it was just as “friends” but I also knew that was gong to suck for me. Him talking about this other girl was just upsetting me too much. We talked for a short while longer then on Halloween night, I went to respond to one of his text and BOOM it won’t go through. I was so confused. Me thinking it’s a bad connection, I try to go on is Twitter. That also didn’t work so I moved over to his SoundCloud. I also was not able to message him there either and that was the moment I realized he had “ghosted me” 😱 I FELL TO MY KNEES IN FRONT OF MY BED SO HEARTBROKEN!! My heart crushed into a thousand pieces and my face fell on my bed and I sobbed my heart out. I cried so hard all night long. It was over. Cody was gone! For good this time!! I knew I was blocked on his Twitter but I tweeted him anyway saying what a jerk he was and that “I wanted my .99 back for his stupid song!!” (I didn’t truly think his song was stupid, it’s quite good) BUT I was so mad and angry and hurt and confused!!!

I did not chase him this time. I did not attempt to reach out to him ever again. I wasn’t sure why but I knew Cody ghosted me on purpose for a reason. He shuts people out and isolates himself. It’s what he’s best at… I didn’t think I could “fix him” nor did I want to. I was so cut deep by him ghosting me, I just wanted to run. I was humiliated too!! I wrote so many songs about the pain I felt. I was so cold and numb. I started thinking I should swear off guys and just remain single. It was hard to “feel anything”. I googled Cody, found so many accounts of him talking and flirting not just with other girls but with guys too!!! I realized then he just flirts with everyone and I wasn’t special to him at all. It sucked for me!! I didn’t know how in the world I was going to move on from Cody but knew I had no choice. Problem was, I felt I had zero closure with Cody and it was a great burden on my heart that I carried for many years. Randomly at different times, I would look up Cody just to see if he’s ok. He always looks just fine in his social media post as if he’s super successful and nothing is even wrong with him but I KNOW it’s fake. I know it’s an act and the real Cody struggles so much. I’ve found his apartment address and was so close to writing him a letter but assumed it wouldn’t change anything….

[feuqueerfire]

Island Part 1 Live Blogging

I didn't watch anything last week because of being overwhelmed and busy for the past 10 or so days but finally I'm ready to once again start a new show when I should be studying.

My main reason for watching this is really just Cha Eunwoo because I miss seeing his face. People seem to really like his character and say his acting improved so I'm even more excited. I wanted to start Korean sff shows anyway so might as well start here even though I got spoiled for a biiiiig thing that happens at the end of S2 and also people's reactions have been like good but not great.

Ep 1 (Mar 14)

ah they're toast

oh they're not speaking Korean

hello my beloved Eunwoo

i never know whether to trust this type of old man who is the lady's father's butler man and is some sort of mentor to her as well

oof the wedding dress monster killed and ate someone?

isn't there gonna be a fuss about the dead body

ah so the lady is a reincarnation of the woman in the white dress who previously died? and the man is the one who's been living at Tamara since then?

olden times Jeju - the guy was a child and was forced to become half human half demon. where's the other kid who became that way too

oh bulter sir where are you going and what did the student see?

lol we already saw the man being selfish and self-absorbed so that's not doing anything for me but ig he's also gonna become a demon now? also i originally thought the assistant who she told to look into those two men was him but ig it's a different man

A pretty meh first episode tbh

Ep 2 (Mar 14)

damn they really did this shit to the children

beautiful beloved Cha Eunwoo <333 I am very fond of him

oh the bulter mans is Miho's protector

the slug things are so fucking disgusting

these action scenes are so boring because they go on for too long, I don't care enough about Miho, it's only ep 2 so I know she's not gonna die or really get hurt, and the immortal guy is gonna come save her each time like bro move on why are the action and chase scenes so long

yknow I find Miho endearing when she's praying to God, Buddha and being nervous to go to sleep and her nervous mannerisms when the man in the dark comes to her room and I think it reminds me of Saras played by Ae in PS I Hate You

actually she's endearing when she's trying to get Van to sign the contract

damn is Van the one who killed Miho in her past life

also pretty meh for me, I don't care about the action, but I'm glad to see a bit more of Eunwoo and also I'm starting to be endeared by Mino

Ep 3 (Mar 14)

why the fuck is there a domestic abuse plotline fucking hell It's like I gotta either watch women being terrorized by men or turn to watch BL where they also sometimes treat women as evil caricatures like I can't

fucking hell and blackmailing her with her nsfw photos too I actually am so fucking annoyed why can't I fucking watch just a fantasy show

this is so fucking sad bro

I love Yeon-ji already

if Yeon-ji or Suryeon actually die or anything I'll be so fucking mad btw

(Linguistics) ahh I love Johan tryna get away with using banmal and referring to Miho as chingus but being shut down lol can't wait to hear him say noona

I don't care about the romantic hints toward Miho and Van whatsoever tbh

(Linguistics) please the way Miho is all wide-eyed and belatedly adds the -yo when she asks if he's really a priest

Johan is so cheeky I love him

Suryeonnnnnn if Bujille does something to her I'm gonna kill this show

nah the better save suryeon

the failed exorcism was pretty cool

This ep finally picked up. I'm glad we get our characters around each other now and some interesting things have started to happen beyond just "oh monster chases Miho and Van saves her." Most of all, I love Johan being daring and cheeky and beautiful and fun and eager.

Not a super big fan of female suffering due to an abusive boyfriend and threats of nudes/nsfw photos being leaked though like I wish it was just something else.

3 eps in a day oof

Ep 4 (Mar 15)

oh was the light-haired guy the other half-demon from the old days

omg the big devil tree-looking monster being maneuvered by Lee Suryeon

I know it's supposed to be funny that Johan was choking while Miho and Van were arguing but :) I dislike such incompetency and callousness for the sake of humour like first of all Johan was trying to help Miho, second of all we're supposed to think Van doesn't gaf but it's not like we're supposed to think Miho is like that too considering she's trying to convince Van to save Suryeon - so it's annoying that she has no worries about Johan

It's so fucking boring that we're on episode 4, both Van and Johan get to do cool action things and even if Johan gets caught, he can hold his ground for a bit with his cool sword, while Miho has yet to even improve in her hiding/escaping/running away techniques despite already being good at fighting and training. If she was at least able to get through to Suryeon with kindness or whatever, that'd be like something but she can't do that either and yells for Van constantly like okay I'm bored

well okay at least she got to speak to Suryeon and I guess some fucking light inside her made the Benjulle disappear

Ah Johan is so irritating when dealing with Van, ah so endearing

oh van calling upon Benjulle again for Suryeon's revenge

heh Van and the Gramma testing each other are so cute

did Johan leave the shrimp croquettes for Miho or is he just gone to the bathroom and will find them gone lol

I don't fully understand why Johan's doing this with Van? to test his strength? and also he wants his name? Edit after reddit thread reading: Someone said he wants to bring out the demon so that he can see if Van can control it enough so that the prophecy of him killing Miho again will come true or not. He left the shrimp croquettes so that she'd be busy eating those and not come looking for the two of them. that makes sense.

oh this is how Van had previously killed her. by his demon side coming out and stabbing her. oof Johan what have you done

A more interesting episode. I wish we got to see the weirdo abusive ex being ripped to shreds at least a little bit or maybe his dead body since we got to see Suryeon's bruised face and her vulnerable photos.

The Johan and Van fighting was pretty cool, one of the action sequences that I thought was actually fun because it involved things more than just chasing or saving Miho.

Also, I'm at least glad that Miho's rich and has connections because otherwise she'd be so fucking useless but then again, she's pretty useless with it too. She didn't seem to give a fuck when Yeomji first came to tell her that Suryeon was being abused, so I didn't think the 'empathy and kindness' would be her forte the way it is for so many female leads but then after she saw the state Suryeon was in, she did start to care more. I thought her having money would mean maybe she could actually get revenge for Suryeong but in the end, Van had to ask Bujille for help. Miho can't save herself which is irritating still 4 episodes in especially when she's been shown to know how to fight but she also can't help Suryeon much despite her status and money. What the fuck can she do by herself then except whatever pureness is inside her and whatever the prophecy will dictate?

I wish we got better-written, more interesting female characters. Yeom-ji is interesting so far, maybe she'll appear more later

Ep 5 (Mar 15)

blocked by own arm is expected

oh our affable Johan has shaking hands

I love the horror aspect of the tourist murder and organ extraction, please have more scary things

Miho fr went outside by herself in the woods after 1) the Dujille incident and 2) the Van incident? girl you are generally useless, why would you fucking do that

oh she's tracking Van's phone

Miho sounds stupid as hell with the "you promised to protect me and you did :>" like at least make her be like i believe you will overcome it or like something that doesn't sound so naive

and i wish they didn't have a romance because it doesn't make sense

pls not all the girls following behind Johan because he's so beautiful and he's relishing in that for sure oh this priest

Johan's a priest right, he likes girls fawning over him but he's not gonna fall for Miho right? I don't want another romantic line

Suryeon and Yeomji are fr best buddies, so cute I love them T.T

omg give me Johan backstory right now

so the Fox Demon is extracting livers until he finds 'his' and is aided by the evil half-demon? and then sometimes sliced up?

so this is Johan's brother at current time?

Guntan is the other half-demon

no but what exactly did that call that Johan got tell him? that they can't find his brother yet?

we're spending too much time at this orphanage and thinking about what Johan would say to his brother, so I... somehow doubt they'll actually get to meet oh no

girl this is so lol like Sujin's fiance probably gonna die and Johan's brother probably gonna die

like first of all after the lust demons have nearly killed her multiple times + Suryeon's lust demon infested Bunjille due to it trying to Miho, I feel like Miho should have enough brain cells to be like actually don't come near me

oh the husband died but at least Johan got to meet his brother; though he may die soon too who knows

Ep 6 (Mar 15)

more Johan and brother backstory

oh they're adopted by white people who have a sick child.... omg

they're gonna fucking do something to the kids T.T

I don't fully understand what happened but did they try to get Johan's brother's liver for their sick child? is that why he was sick also before they took Johan away? but why was Johan also clutching his stomach and blood on his shirt? Did the operation with the older sibling and white child not work so they tried it with Johan too? Is this white sick child the one searching for the liver now as the Fox Demon or smth? or is it Johan's brother since his liver would be missing, though that doesn't quite make sense with what happened with those other people that the brother worked with right?

ah the siblings are having a heart to heart but uhhh I feel like the "let's stay together" yearning of Johan is not gonna be long-lived

oh fuck the brother is so definitely working for Guntan or something rip

oh did Wonjeong betray Guntan and Van somehow? or accidentally betray them but Guntan believes she did it on purpose?

oh beautiful stag? reminds me of Shadow and Bone

why the hell on earth would Miho leave her friend at the funeral crying alone like

I so don't give a fuck about Van and Miho irritates me

oh the brother Chan-hee can't remember killing those people while he's a lust demon?

ah fuck Chan-hee asking Johan to kill him T.T

bro first I felt emotions for Suryeon and now Johan T.T poor guy

filing a teary Eunwoo on his knees looking desperate for later when I'm not feeling sad for him and he's not a priest

ah fuck desperate, desperate Johan but the lust demon wants to kill Wonjeong/Miho

poor fucking Johan really having to kill his brother

my beloved Johan nooo T.T

wait a second were there scenes after the title card each time?

oh Guntan has a fucking cult

oh what the fuck my beloved Yeom-ji T.T

Also, the thing that Chan-hee was getting and saying "It's not mine" is probably kidney and not liver lol I thought liver because they said that's what the Fox Demon stole but Chan-hee was not that.

Overall Thoughts:

The main female lead was whatever, wish she was just good at something. Whether it be at fighting demons (understandable that she isn't), was fighting back via kindness and empathy (I'll be forever floored that she's apparently feeling soooo much for fucking Van while her reaction to being told about Suryeon's situation was like hmm whatever just tell the cops), actual power due to her status/wealth/connections (but she couldn't even fucking put the abusive ex behind bars and couldn't keep her promise to Suryeon to get revenge for her and then dared to be like 'hmm idk how I feel about this' when Van got him killed), or her smarts (miss girl kept going everywhere in the woods by herself, including in the dark; she couldn't tell her friend to not come to her at night like this). She's not the worst ever because she can still stand up for herself and she has personality but I mourn that they've written her like this. I also just hate that the only other girl we've paid any significant attention to was Suryeon and I had to see her go through an abusive relationship; why can't we get some cool suffering, why do I have to see girls and women be tortured at the hands of men in this way every time?

Van is just fucking boring and I don't care. He's kinda cool but like he's not fun or interesting or endearing or tunning at my heart strings (except him as a child when he was being abused as he was trained T.T)

My beloved Johan <3333 Cha Eunwoo was my main reason for keeping an eye on this show since I watched True Beauty and was into Astro for a few weeks. He did so well <33 I liked his charming, cocky, beautiful character who was so intrigued by everything going on as if he really was 20 and curious about everything but also I liked his apprehension when it came down to it. The storyline with his brother was so T.T He had him for such a short time and it was so sad seeing him trying to do everything to save him and yet having to kill him in the end.

Also curious to see the evil brother half-demon Guntan and his sidekick niece Yeom-ji. They're both pretty cool compared to our 2 main characters. The Certified Noonas were talking about how cool Guntan is and all I could think about was "So, what if he's the devil, Rick? At least the devil has a job. At least he's active in the community." because mans is really active and murderous and a cult leader.

I wish the show flowed better in terms of the sequence of scenes and pacing and the main characters were more intriguing.

Rating: 6/10

[carlos-in-glasses]

same anon from this post, thank u for giving us the room for this discussion!! <3

you and i are the same in that i really hate it when things are left up to our interpretation, in my mind i'd just automatically assumed the worst just so i can avoid being disappointed again. i'd also talked myself into accepting that it could be in reference to carlos and iris rather than the other way around, but the lack of closure/clarity is genuine killing me and i hate that it very well could be left unaddressed in future eps, which is why i'm trying to bury it now and just pretend it hadn't happened

i didn't particularly get any...closure, per say on tk's end so far, and i would've been okay with the angst if carlos wasn't such a jerk to tk the whole time. i guess it's why i've struggled so much getting through the first 3 eps, and rn i'm dreading 404 even though i've seen so many ppl getting excited over it. i really do hope this was set up in a way that 404 would be cathartic and also a great time for them to address the amount of shit tk was put through in the past eps, but i'm also trying to manage my expectations here

i do also think this is why ppl are struggling in this ep - we've never seen them so un-synced (for lack of a better word) with each other before, what with carlos being so focused on his mission and tk buried in his own guilt spiral and also his worry for carlos. and i really wished they'd talked to each other rather than letting this play out for angst purposes, if the payoff wasn't worth it in the end. bc angst is only done well if it's cathartic imo.

also, i hope this is a journey of carlos acknowledging his faults (e.g. lying, avoiding, repressing, pretending) and working towards them (like tk's arc), bc its honestly getting really exhausting time and time again seeing tk being shut out without any closure. it's going to be painful, and ugly, and confronting buried feelings that he didn't know was possible to feel, but i do hope he's going to get to a place where he stops running from his past in order to move forward into his future with the help of tk, and them working towards this as a team 🥹🥹 i love him and i'm exhausted and he needs to get his shit together (and i meant this in the nicest way possible).

I’m glad I’m not the only one! I’m just not wired to be cool with things that leave me with lots of questions. I don’t necessarily need shows to be super on-the-nose with things, but I can struggle with ambiguity when it comes to something like this. I definitely stand by something I said in a previous answer, which is I wish the ‘I love you’ moment could have had a little more too it. It wouldn’t have to be anything major, just a stronger ‘I love you too’ would do, or something dramatic like, ‘I want you know I don’t blame you, TK…I only blame…myself!’ and then he hangs up. Soapy as hell, but then we’d know! For me, having TK go feral while looking for Carlos who has been kidnapped by a serial killer would be plenty of angst on its own, without the additional angst of a rift between them. But this is the hand we have been dealt.

I’m sorry you’re dreading 4x04 though. I’m excited for it because I’m trusting Ronen. I hope it far exceeds your expectations and you love it – you deserve to love it! Even if it leaves some things lacking, it really should still be cathartic after what’s happened so far, because we know they’ll be reunited and the wedding planning will properly commence. We know they will be back in sync – maybe more so than ever. Maybe the show will play that up. We know it can do Tarlos extremely well, hence we love Tarlos so much, and they do usually feel like a team.

And your last para – yes, I agree. It’s exhausting when a character doesn’t grow and it’s invigorating when they do, and it does seem to me like the set up is for growth to happen. It doesn’t seem possible for Carlos to go through what he’s going through now, as a direct result of his past, and come out of it pretending nothing ever happened. Again, we know growth is something the show can do well, for instance contrasting season 1 TK against season 3 TK.

I think with Tim at the helm, the show has taken a risk this season and (at the time of writing this response anyway) it isn’t paying off the way they’d hoped and some damage control and reactiveness seems to be happening. My takeaway wish from all this is: the creators and writers also grow from the backlash and bring a season 5 that still has plenty of drama but handled in a different way, ie. a disaster that TK and Carlos truly do face as a team. Or something that is less reliant on angst between them. (I want to emphasise this is my wish, which may well not align with anyone else’s). This can all be absolutely fixed – either in the next episode or beyond.