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rielzero · 7 months ago

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Goodnight Fellow Abyss lurkers! I'm RielZero | About Me | 2024

You can call me Riel! I am a gay, neurodivergent, disabled artist from the netherlands. I am dutch, though I primarily communicate and write in english more comfortably. Since I am not a fulltime employed human and can't work, I spend my days creating art, playing videogames and reading comics. Branding and Handle My Preferred handle online is actually.. ActualEvil! However, this one seems to be currently taken by another user on this website. Since this is a somewhat uncommon occurrence, my back-up handle tends to be the name of my OC Persona, Riel Zero. If you want to make sure an active social is mine, please check out my Carrd for my socials.

I don't feel comfortable sharing too much personal detail online, however there are some things I have talked about and will point towards because I think its important.

Disabilities (and Ableism) I've talked in detail about my experience with Dissociative amnesia and how it affects my day-to-day life. I am mute and not capable of speaking due chronic pain. When I happen to mention my disabilities or autism, folks will often do the thing were they offer unsolicited advice because they do not understand invisible disabilities. My only request is that you do not pity me for being disabled, discredit my experiences, ask for diagnoses or try to diagnose me with new things. Amongst these, I also suffer from IBS, chronic fatigue and light sensitivity. Please do not make up assumptions about my life.

I'm too gay for this shit If It wasn't obvious from my little blog blurb, I'm a gay dude! Yes, alphabet maffia! In all seriousness I do not tolerate intolerance and support my diverse community. Please do not send Homophobia, Transphobia or Queerphobia of any sort my way. Fellow queers, I see you, and I love you.

This Blog is for fun The world is pretty tough and awful lately, I am not a ''content creator'' Whatever work I make is mostly made for myself by myself. I blog about nerdy things, I come online to escape real life. I'm by no means an activist or even educated enough to speak out on politics.

Can I ask you... Where I live? My IRL name? Face reveal? Where I went to school? What my family is like? If I have friends and foes? No. Privacy is pretty important to me. You might find nuggets here and there on my blog, but I avoid sharing the bigger picture. Please respect this.

Boundaries I am pretty chill and don't mind being interacted with or making friends, being moots is cool! But if you are trying to start a conversation with me and I don't respond please don't take it too personal, I am more socially awkward than you might think. As I'm an adult, I would rather not interact with underage people. If you are a minor I humbly discourage you from following my blog(s). I curate my experience and I recommend you do as well.

Please do not steal, trace, or repost my artwork. Reblogs are appreciated!

Can I ask you some art advice? I am self taught, but I'm not exactly the right guy to teach others. I do have a few tutorials (1, 2, 3) up on clipstudio tips, but that's about it. You are free to ask me about my work and thought process! But don't expect it to blow your mind.

When did you start drawing? I don't remember to be honest. Digitally I started when I was 13, haven't really put the pen down since.

Why do you use 3D in your main work? Long story short: Work smarter, not harder. I have more fun this way. What do you use for art? Digitally: XP Pen 22 Artist Pro pen display (1st generation) Traditionally: A lot of different brands, usually ohuhu markers. Generic typical ink pens for scribbly doodles.

Do you take commissions? Do you sell Adoptables? Can I support you in some way? When commissions are open, you can find them on my Ko-fi! I also sell adoptables on there. Being disabled means my access to work is limited, so is my access to luxury spending. Earnings go towards funding my hobbies. Alternatively, I have throne.

Do you do art trades? Art trades are reserved only for friends and mutuals. Please private message me if you are interested in art trading. I may not always be available for this.

What is your favorite media? What inspires you? Difficult to answer really- I LOVE DEADPOOL! I love marvel. Marvel movies, marvel comics- COMICS!! I love anime, I love manga- I also love webcomics, I am a comic book collector and I am slowly teaching myself to make comics. I love all things superhero and fantasy. Hell yeah VIDEOGAMES grindy RPGs, fallout 4, skyrim, spiderman, horizon zero dawn, conan exiles, god of war- BALDUR'S GATE 3!! hajhsjdjhfgg I can't pick a favorite. Hyper-fixations are loud demons and they come out at night. And during the day. And while I sleep. I have a love for a lot of things.

Do you have a favorite artist? Everytime I try to answer this my brain breaks, this would require a large separate post on its own. I love a lot of artists and artistic works. If you want a classic work though, It would be the nightwatch by Rembrandt van Rijn.

Do you have pets? Yes! GUINEA PIGS!! Here's a post and another about them.

My question isn't on here.. I have an askbox for that! I don't bite- Ok I might. Just a nibble. ...Just a little nibble.

Man Made Fire (Original Webcomic, Currently on Hiatus) Webtoon Canvas tapas io Tumblr Blog

''A spark, all it takes to start a fire. Hope, light, warmth. What about the underlying destruction that never ceases to threaten all that exists?

Is the spark the start of change, or the warning sign of the endless cycle itself?''

Man Made Fire is a comic series following the endless cycle of death, destruction and rebirth, witnessed by a Multiversal Traveller we may come to know as Schrodinger's Cat; AKA ''RielZero'' or ''The saviour.''

Baldur's Gate: Don't Say Inevitable (Fan Webcomic Series) Webtoon Canvas Tumblr Blog

''Locke is an unlucky, nobody Warlock with very little going well for him. Growing up he's known nearly nothing but pain, loss, hunger, and death. Failing his apprenticeship as a Necromancer, Locke contemplates his life before being snatched away by mind flayers. Only to wake up stranded with 4 concussions. He is quick to find fellow victims, and without much else to go on with, decides to put his survival skills to use to find a cure for the parasite, fast.''

Don't say inevitable is a fan comic series based on my playthrough of the videogame Baldur's Gate 3 and the surrounding Dungeons and Dragon's universe. It mostly follows the misadventures of Locke and his companions.

99% Percent of art that I post that isn't Baldur's gate 3 related are Original characters and personal creations. Check out my Toyhouse!

Originality has flaws Please do not compare my ocs to pre-existing characters, or to the ocs of others. Any coincidental similarities between people's characters has the tendency to be just that: Coincidence. People like and enjoy similar themes and tropes in characters. Even if they're rare. Please do not intentionally take my character work, stories and designs and claim them as yours. Do not kin my OCs. Do not roleplay with my OCs.

Character Ages Unless stated otherwise, all my characters are adults. My art style is not super realistic when it comes to facial features, petite and soft-looking characters may appear younger than they are. Please keep in mind that hollywood movies have made us age-blind.

Mature Themes My Ocs are usually not of the wholesome-only kind, and may have mature themes associated with their backstories.

Can I ask something about your oc(s)? You can ask me, or you can ask the oc directly! I might draw the response. If your question requires me to spoiler, I may not answer it. Some questions will linger in my inbox for a long time until I feel ready to answer them.

Can I draw you gift art/ Can I draw my oc interacting with your oc(s)? You can draw my ocs as is if you want to. Please do not alter their design in any way if you do. I appreciate gift art! I save all gift works I receive, and may upload some of it to their toyhouse galleries. (with credit, of course.) As for interactive art, If the character has not appeared in any of my comics, please ask first before you draw them with your oc.

Can I ship my oc with your oc? If we are not mutuals, please don't. Please keep in mind while my characters have diverse sexualities, a lot of them are gay. Some ocs are Aro/ace. I'm not really interested in M/F stuff. If we are moots/friends and you want to talk about RP or fun shipping headcanons with me, my pms are open!

Can I buy/offer you something for your oc(s)? No.

Do you Roleplay with your ocs? I do not participate in TTRPGS, but I have roleplayed with friends.

Can I write fanfiction about your oc(s)? At the moment I don't feel super comfortable with this. This might change in the future. If you are a friend or mutual and want to gift a fic, I'm not against it.

Youtube: Actual Evil and Actual Evil - Games Twitch: ActualEvil

Other blogs: @ohnoestherestadpoles @manmadefire @actuallyevilgay @rielzero-adoptables

If you see this, thank you so much for reading this long ass introduction/pinned post, I've taken several hours of a day to work on this and double check. Still, it might miss some information you're maybe looking for and I'm sorry for that.

I'm not the best at conveying tone, so if anything on here makes me sound like I'm full of myself.. Or any other negative character traits- Keep in mind that I'm merely human. I'm flesh and blood, I am not perfect by any means.

I'm just some guy on the internet.

#meet the artist #about me #faq #faq post #pinned post #intro #introduction #introductory post #ongoing projects #informative #info post #commission info #frequently asked questions #artist #digital artist #ask the artist #ask my ocs

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sevicia · 2 months ago

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blondie&glasses with ❤️🍀🧠✏️ / mary with ❤️🧊🌂🎹

OMG YAYYYYY!!! Mary is answered separate from Those Two cause they don't even know each other... she'd be like "why can't they just hold hands or something?"

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

I think I wrote a more descriptive version of it somewhere before cause it's #important but it's pretty much the night she kills her ex-fiancé and absorbs The Creature. Which is extremely vague I just realized... quick rundown: everyone but her wants her to get married -> camping trip with the guy -> go in the dark (forest.) -> "I can make you into an angel (flesh thing) fr" -> sure -> kills him badly. AND THE CROWD (me) GOES WILD

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

NOOOO but it IS very similar... her 1st design was for something entirely different that involved her being super plain (also the reason her name's Mary)(DVD normal name). Then I just kinda made her messier and creepier.... KYA...... Though I haven't drawn her super creepy just yet u.u

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

Horror and romance but the second one has a huge NEVER TRY THIS AT HOME asterisk. She shares her story with Agnes and they have cute moments Because I'm Crazy but ultimately it's just not a good healthy relationship at all due to women's wrongs, which I support, slash joking

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

Writinggg x) !! She gets into it after "meeting" Agnes (one-sided meeting. He did NOT fucking know her for a while) since he also writes "as a hobby" (me when I lie) and posts it online. She starts out by completing his unfinished stories or making alternate scenes, and eventually writes short stories of her own.

She also paints but that's also her major at uni so not really a hobby anymore... her paintings Have changed drastically post-creature absorption though x)

I put my other answers under da cut I never stfu #SORRY m(_ _)m

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

Blondie: He is one of the most miserable little men to ever live but he does think fondly of his freshman year in highschool due to that being the year he was sure he had an actual friend for the first time ever. He has fond memories of hanging out at the park or the mall with her, talking about nothing in particular. Though he avoids thinking about her because it just hurts him in the end </3

Glasses: He has a very... hedonistic lifestyle to say the least, so it'd be hard for him to single out a moment in particular. His most euphoric moment though, is when he buried a body for the first time and went to school the next morning like nothing happened. Feeling invincible lasted for a bit, but he wouldn't do it again for quite some time.

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

Blondie: Weirdly enough I came up with him after Glasses. Basically I went "who the hell is holding the camera here???"

Glasses: Pipeline moment AUGH here we go. I listened to Ouija by Harley Poe on loop a bunch some time ago and really liked the concept of someone willingly inviting a spirit into their body in order to commit violent acts guilt-free (like first seat autopilot style ykwim). This gave way to an ENTIRELY different story and characters, in which I asked myself "who's even gonna possess this guy!?", and was trying to come up with some distant character that did very bad no good things. Around the same time I was doodling ideas like crazy and liked some stuff for a drawing of what was Basically a snuff scene. That's when I made someone up to hold the camera and when I thought to connect both stories, otherwise neither Glasses nor Blondie would be characters at all. Funnily enough the original Ouija-inspired story is not very developed at all, and I decided to cut it off ESH Diversity Loss (what Glasses and Blondie's folder is called in my drive) completely LOL<///3

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

This is kind of a difficult question to answer cause honestly I don't even like my OCs as people I think some of them just suck really badly. But I do like them as characters and things to write/think about x)

Blondie: I like that he could very easily be Fixed if he just like, had friends that actually liked him. He really didn't get socialized as a puppy now he's dependent on some fucking guy that views him as a limited edition snack and won't let go of him until he HAS to. Oh poor thang</3

Glasses: His hubris. ❤️

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

Honestly my OC bouts come and go but I've got a lot more on them than I ever thought I would. Somehow they're the only story I have a rough outline for ??? ending planned out and everything. I don't draw them much though.... which means their designs will Very Likely change a lot by the time I get to do their thingy.

#danties #oc tag #oc talk #THANK YOU FOR INDULGING MEEE<333 #oc: mary #oc: blondie #oc: glasses #oc: agnes #<- mentioned (fire emoji)#long post

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liyawritesss · 3 years ago

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Hii how are you 💖 I was wondering if I could please request Headcannons or anything that's easier for you of Bakugou & Tamaki (or just Bakugou) with a s/o that writes poetry & draws but hasn't told them & they see it and they're woow🤯gn or fem is okay feel free to ignore & ofc take as much time as you need 🥰🤗

ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀɴ ᴀʀᴛɪꜱᴛɪᴄ ꜱ/ᴏ

Pairing: TEEN!Bakugo Katsuki/Amajiki Tamaki x TEEN!Black!GN!Reader

Genre: Fluff Headcanons

Synopsis: Bakugo and Tamaki react to finding out their s/o is a patron of the arts!

Warnings: 1st Year!Bakugo/Reader and 3rd Year!Tamaki/reader, anxiety mention

A/N: I always love artistic!reader tropes because art is one of very few healthy ways to express emotion, and I myself have a very personal attachment to it. I hope you enjoy this, I haven't written for tamaki in a while so thank you for the refresher!!!

ʙᴀᴋᴜɢᴏ ᴋᴀᴛꜱᴜᴋɪ

It happens when you head to the bathroom during a study session for an upcoming exam

The usually irritated boy is just tapping on his notebook, waiting for you to return when his eyes glance over to the unkept mass of journals you have set aside your bed

He’s aware that you doodle sometimes, he sees you doing so in class and has scolded you for doing it during instructional time before.

He noticed that one is open and, in curiosity, picks it up from its place atop the pile of journals

Its a very detailed drawing, one that brings a hum of intrigue from his throat

It's him, oddly enough. Its a side profile portrait, and he’s guessing you drew it in class one time when Aizawa permitted a ‘free day’ because normally he gives detailed lectures so fast, if you blink you’d miss important test information

He doesn’t confront you about it right away about it, but after the test is done and you’re relieved you passed, he does say quite the interesting remark

“Maybe if you stopped drawing me in class you wouldn’t need last minute help for a test,”

ᴀᴍᴀᴊɪᴋɪ ᴛᴀᴍᴀᴋɪ

Tamaki likes to immerse himself in things that remind him of you when you’re away on internships at your primary hero company

So it’s common he slithers his way into your room in the middle of the night to snuggle in your blankets after a night terror

You have a lot of books littering your room in massive piles in every corner, so he tends to read them from time to time

He accidentally comes across an open journal that he assumes is another one of your many books. Your handwriting is so neat and pretty to him that sometimes he confuses it for actual book print, and he ends of reading a few of the poems in said journal

The flow of the words and the stories - or the idea of uncovering one - drew him in so much that the normally anxious boy didn’t even notice you enter your dorm room after being released from your internship

Tamaki was so cute, nose deep in your journal without a care in the world, you thought it cruel to disturb his peace and decided to do your unwinding routine while he stayed handsome and intrigued on your bed

After a quick wash and a change of clothes you came back to Tamaki still reading your journal, perhaps mumbling to himself but you were too tired to strain your ears

You crawled into the bed next to him, the sudden sip in the mattress startling Tamaki, but when he felt your familiar hand slide into the locks of his hair and pull his head into your chest, he relaxed almost instantly.

Its not until the next day that he asks you about the book he was reading the night prior, wanting to borrow it to read over once more. You tell that what he was reading was your journal and, upon this new information, Tamaki babbled out apologies for invading your private book, and even promises not to read any more of your books for fear of stumbling upon another private journal

If you enjoyed, please leave a like, comment, and reblog for others to see! And don't be shy to send a request!

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kyotakumrau · 4 years ago

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2021.03.10 USEN STUDIO COAST 1st session with Toshiya and Kyo

They changed the tables for some reason, going from two bigger rectangle ones to four one person round high tables.

Fujieda and Takabayashi came on stage, F greeted fans as usual and asked for the applause for the band members.

After a moment of waiting with bated breath, Toshiya appeared and Kyo after him.

Kyo wore a big light grey coat, white shirt, black (most likely Madara)short shorts, white socks with red print and big sneakers.

Toshiya had white shirt, pearls?, and black slacks.

They sat in order Ta, T, K, F from right to left.

T: [As it's an official event] so, I'm Toshiya, the bassist from DIR EN GREY.

K: I'm Kyo.

F: It's 1st time for T to attend a talk event this year, how do you feel?

T: normal.

F: you've played here even as the venue has a new name. But it's been while. How do you feel K?

K: just usual.

F: you don't feel like it's been a while?

K: not really.

T: playing at Rock-May-Kan definitely made me feel it's been a while. The place is so small. We played with no audience, it was a first time in RMK which felt so strange.

F: rehearsal felt normal.

T: yeah.

F: anything from then?

T: it was nice to see all the staff.

F: how about you, K? We watched the live footage in February, anything feels different?

K: ... I don't remember it anymore.

F: the recording was done a long time ago.

K: Can't remember. At all.

F: I want to ask... (K just started staring at him and that was the end of it😂).

Next, F talked about the leaflet (he also mentioned how awesome it is that camera can move and zoom in this time, was it for K?😆), the photo being quite shocking/impactful. Was shooting hard? Finished really quickly, right?

T: Yeah.

K: it was refreshing. I said it was refreshing/cool, I didn't lie. It's like coolness in summer. It's auspicious/celebratory. Celebrating being born. When you're being born it's never pretty. So I didn't lie before, not even once, I said it's like a cool wind, I just didn't say anything about the celebration part to avoid spoiling it.

F: so far K said Oboro is refreshing, like Taiyou no Ao, Kaoru said it's refreshing, but more like Myaku remix. Shinya said it's like '肉付きに龍(flesh and dragon)' How about you, T?

T: you will know when you listen to it. It's not something that can be explained with words.

F: what about TDFF?

K: it's also refreshing. I listened to the file yesterday, it's like a cream soda, refreshing with a bit of a mellow hint.

F: Vanilla flavor?

K: maybe not just vanilla, mixing other stuff in until it almost spills.

F: what do you think T?

T: ...so, refreshing then.

F: ok, it's refreshing.

K: and auspicious.

And auspicious.

F read the info about the May show in Tokyo Garden Theater and fans clapped.

T: it's been over a year since our last show in Japan, I'm really looking forward to it. In this condition holding concerts is not entirely called for, but we as DIR EN GREY have decided to do it. If you're able to please come.

K: it's been a long time since the last concert. But. Isn't it a weekday? Utterly a weekday. It's almost like bullying [the fans]. Shouldn't we try to book a better date for such an important concert? This is really so much like us.

F: it's just after Golden Week (a week long holiday in Japan).

K: people will be so busy getting back to work. (after F encouragement to say something inviting) So, I'm looking forward to the show when people will have to work because it's weekday (sarcasm by Kyo 👌)

Next was merchandise corner. F again asked us and band members to look at the flyer.

F: T, are there any items you really like?

T: all of them.

F: Shinya uses the tote bag in private now.

K: Did you actually saw him use it?

F: he had it yesterday.

K: huh.

Ta: can we really say yesterday was using it in private though?

Next F showed us the hoodie and the towel, holding the towel up.

K: you should present it more properly.

F held it properly so we could see the whole towel, but K continued to give him dissatisfied look😆

Next F talked about the travel pouch saying it's useful when you travel on the tour you can hang it as it has a small hook.

K started to point out the problems with F explanation, where to hang it, isn't it better to just put on the table, the hook is then useless. A hook for a bag you will put on the table, what. You're terrible at explaining the merch.

😂

T: isn't that for shower room?

F: to put shampoo in and so on?

K just stares at F, that face oh my🤣

F: we talked about it being for shower stuff but we worried about it being waterproof.

K: You actually don't know, do you?🤦‍♂️ are you a scam? Why don't you know??? You should know more about the items!

F: I will properly check!

K: with who?

F: with the merchandiser!

K just looked at him😂

F: but you can probably use it safely in the shower💦

Kyo stared...🤣

F: T, do you have any favorites?

T (after giving him a look): I said all.

F: you, K?

K: the hoodie. The picture in the back was done by my tattoo artist, on my request. I really like it.

F passed them their keychains, K just kept staring at them.

T: why are there 2 types?

F: I wonder. It's for Ochita, so one normal outfit and one bloody. Details are really nice.

And then it was time for the questions from fans.

F: there are many questions about movies, anime etc you've watched recently. K?

K: Evangelion. Not gonna spoil it, but please watch it on a big screen.

T: I want to watch Eva!

F: Ta, are you also an Eva fan?

Ta: I watched the old series, haven't seen the new ones.

Ta: there are many Q to and about F. "Most band members are from Kansai, F do you feel alienated by that?"

F: I'm from Tokyo, but not even a bit.

Ta: where exactly? Do you go back a lot?

F: my old neighborhood doesn't change, it's actually around here. Definitely no alienation.

F: "what's your favourite icecream?" There are many Q asking about sweets. How about you, K?

K: Icecream, I like Cola flavoured Sacre. And the melonpan with icecream inside, when I see that in the shop I always buy like 3. Recently not many shops have it.

F: so when you see it you always get them.

K: Yes.

F: get like 3.

K: Yes.

F: how about you, T? Recently it's a bit cold.

T: hah! I don't recently eat icecream. But I like fruity ones. I like rum raisin.

F: any questions you like, T?

While T was deciding which Q to read K just popped his papers on F's desk😂

T: "what was your first impression of other members when you first met? And how have they changed?"

F: so T will tell us about K.

T: the impression when we first met?

K: was it at Farm? In Nagoya?

T: Farm? I went to see some taiban event at GIO and we met there.

F: where is GIO?

T: in Ichikawa. And we talked there. Has he changed? Of course he has, but I thought he is someone who can laugh very carefree.

F: it was a taiban event of different bands.

T: yeah.

F: How about T, K?

K: it's bit muddled, but I remember best T playing guitar. And the strongest memory I have is T going crazy playing guitar.

F: how about other members? Kaoru?

T: I remember we didn't talk much, just said hi.

F: you met them at GIO. what about Die?

T: he was very talkative, very easy to talk to.

F: Shinya?

T: just passed by.

F: you didn't talk?

T: Just hello.

F told them how D described meeting S. Then he asked Kyo about Kaoru.

K: we met at taiban event, he was playing guitar in a band called Charm. I was impressed with his photo on the flyer. I thought he was very cool, and calm.

F: what ablut Die?

K: I found him through a flyer looking for new band members I thought he was cool. and then there was a taiban.

F: what about S?

K chuckled first😂: I remember he had a bob hair and a very long earring, just one, like a chain. And that earring was moving when he was talking. I remember that.

Ta: has he changed?

K: His looks changed, but he didn't change inside.

Ta: oh.

K: Just gradually ...got weirder. I think he hates humans. But he has many friends he does riddles with. He knows so many people, too many, he uses social media so much, I have no idea who he's hanging out with, but he even has photos with Dewi Sukarno. He probably doesn't hate humans, just hates his band members. Hates people who know about the past.

😂

Ta: "S said he's using tour merch like tshirts, how about you?"

T: 使うやつが使うね・I use stuff that's ok to use. From this event I'd use the travel pouch and usb.

K: I use our items a lot, like towels or hoodies.

F: "what's your favourite meat cut?"

K: skirt steak.

T: skirt steak or offal.

F: I love skirt steak too! - he the continued to talk about meat how good are some parts until he noticed both T and K looks🤣

F: " do you prefer bath or shower? What time do you take bath?"

K: in the evening. But when I have a fresh tattoo I can't take a bath for about 2 weeks, then I take a shower.

F: do tattoos hurt in a bath?

K: They hurt or sting. It's like an injury so like a cut it stings in a bath. Did you think tattos are like a stamp?!

F: it seems it's tough.

Ta: you know tattoos are allowed in our company...

I loved Ta's jab, but what came after this from Kyo was just pure ❤️🤣

K: I will even buy a tattoo machine and do it so you F can get a tattoo.

F: what kind of desing?

K: a giraffe. On your back. Wouldn't it be more scary than oni or a dragon? I'm serious (he was trying so hard not to laugh😂), it's the scariest option, a giraffe.

F: you would design it?

K: Of course. A yellow one. Guys who have scribble/doodle like tattoos are the really scary ones! A yellow giraffe.

F: Let me think about it.

K: please do!

🤣🤣🤣

F: how about you T, a bath or shower?

T: sometimes a lomg bath, sometimes a ahort one, sometimes a shower.

T: "do you eat sweets?" I don't really. if anything, then chocolate.

F: what type?

T: My favorite was Kirinokibune (霧の浮舟, a bit like Aero. Has been discountinued).

F: I'll check it, you K?

K: isn't half of me sweets?😆

F: what do you like recently?

K: cookies, chocolate cookies.

F: from Morinaga? (big chocolate company in Japan, you can find it in every supermarket etc)

K: Morinaga? I don't like soft cookies, they have to be hard, chocolate cookie with chocolate. Recently, near Harajuku station there's a shop with a red fluffy character that looks like MUCC, I love their cookies.

Then F suggested sth only older people would know it and if looks could kill F would be anihilated by K on the spot🤣

F: last Q, let's choose something easy to answer.

F: "what do you like to eat with rice? I like umeboshi (pickled plum)"

T: in Nagano we eat nametake.

F was a bit clueless how to eat it etc and made T explain more.

F: you K?

K: I don't care. Don't you just eat it with side dishes? No one eats only rice with pickled plum? It's not postwar period!

F: so what side dishes do you like?

K: Sushi.

🤣

F: ...sushi?? Isn't that a bit different??

K: you eat fish with rice, no?

F: so what sushi do you like?

K: fatty cut of flounder fin(あぶりのえんがわ)

And finally last comments:

Toshiya: thank you for today, DIR has decided to hold a concert with audience in May, please come if you can. But you have to decide that for yourself. We made our decision.

Kyo: I don't have anything, as usual. ...your t-shirts will increase, it's hard for people living far from Tokyo, nothing much to say.

F: you mean you will like to see everyone in May and so on?

K: I said I have nothing to say, didn't I?!💢

#dir en grey #kyo #京 #toshiya #目黒鹿鳴館gig #爆音会 #talk event #attempt at live report #新木場studio coast

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bucksblr · 4 years ago

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#showyourprocess

From planning to posting, share your process for making creative content!

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES — When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours!

Thank you so much for tagging me @lan-xichens, I’ll try my best to explain how I made this set from start to finish hehe ♡ and also a big thank you to @suibianjie @highwarlockkareena @nyx4 @aheartfullofjolllly and you as well Kris for putting this all together! Content creators get a lot less recognition than they deserve for all the time they put into their content, so getting everyone to see the (sometimes excessive) process we all go through to put our content in our blog, I hope it creates a positive change!! 💖

1. Planning

The set in question was actually requested by someone so they could celebrate their friend’s birthday! At first I wasn’t entirely sure if I was going to be able to finish it on time (college is very hectic right now) but I was able to finish it three days before the deadline which was may 1st! ^-^

The first thing I did was decide what characters I wanted to use in the set, I first reached out to the person who requested the set if there were certain characters they wanted me to use but they said they didn’t know enough to really give me any directives outside of the quote. I decided, since the quote is applicable to the entirety of the show, that I would try to put in as many characters as possible.

Thus, of course, came the hunting for scenes. Those of you in the net discord surely know I came into the content help channel a few times to ask for certain scenes here and there, and eventually I had to download an additional 10 episodes to the back then 20 or so episodes I had in my CQL episodes folder.

As you can see I have 30 random episodes of CQL downloaded (slowly but surely getting to the point where I have all 50 episodes downloaded) and I think I ended up using scenes out of at least 20 of those episodes.

I planned out beforehand what characters I would use per gif. I knew obviously I would start out with Wangxian, them being the main characters of the show, and then would work my way down the list. The second gif consists of Nie Huaisang, Nie Mingjue, Jin Zixuan, Jiang Yanli, Wen Qing, and Wen Ning. They’re all family pairings, two being siblings and one being a married couple. The next gifset consists of the Yi City characters, then the fourth gif consists of the juniors, and the final gif has Jin Guangyao, Mianmian, Jiang Cheng, and Lan Xichen in it.

I have to admit though that when I had made the first four gifs I’d forgotten who I would put in the last gif and the when I thought about it the first time around I could only think of Lan Qiren and the very cursed Yaoyang ship 😭 it was only at dinner time that same day that I remembered I hadn’t put Jiang Cheng in my gifset yet and that’s when I thought of the other characters as well.

I had already made my first two gifs when I went to check Hanyi’s blog for layout inspo and eventually I decided I wanted to try a triangle-ish layout, which I doodled below. I eventually ended up changing the layout of the last gif in the final design. It was also the first time I would work with a triangle-ish layout so I was a bit nervous as I was scared it wasn’t going to work out...

2. Creating

I use Avisynth 2.5 and Adobe Photoshop 2021 (the paid version, unfortunately, I need it for school except I didn’t need it this year but I wanted it so I paid for it with my own money ouch) to make my gifsets! I always start out with trimming down all the scenes I’m going to use into three to five second videos and putting them through Avisynth. This time around I did it separately for each gif I made, simply because I needed so many scenes. I would include a screenshot of my “gif vids” and “temp” folders but I’ve already deleted all the videos, which is what I usually do immediately after a set is posted.

I’ll try my best explaining this gif by gif since each one had a different layout!

2.1 Wangxian

I think I had up to five different designs of this gif 😭 it started out with the gif on the left originally being more centered and the quote right smack in the center but somehow it felt a bit too... empty? I changed up the design and pulled the gif over to the right and put the two closeups on the left, the exact opposite of the gif I eventually ended up with. I switched things around one more time and saved the gif as you can see it right now, except I didn’t include the lines yet. It was only as I finished up my fourth gif that I decided this gif needed lines as well so I added them ^-^

2.2 Nie Huaisang, Nie Mingjue, Jin Zixuan, Jiang Yanli, Wen Qing, and Wen Ning

I got the inspiration for the font layout on this gif from this Wenzhou post! I hadn’t tried it before and when I did for this gif I was very happy with the way it turned out :D I wanted to portray that life is a pile of good and bad things, as the quote says, in CQL by mirroring these happy scenes side by side with the sad scenes

2.3 Yi CIty

My first time working with the triangle layout!! Putting in the lines and making sure they would line up with the second gif took me the longest of all actually 😭 I think once I got the line on the left in I just copy pasted it and flipped it horizontally so I didn’t have to fiddle around with angling it anymore :’) my original idea was to get a happy Song Lan scene and a sad A-Qing scene, but when I stumbled upon this A-Qing scene in ep38 I just had to put it in there because her smile is so precious 🥺 Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen in the center are also supposed to be mirrored, with Xue Yang embodying the “bad things” and Xiao Xingchen the “good things” ! I also think the Yi City characters fit this part of the quote very well!!

2.4 The Juniors

Ah yes, the junior quartet!! :D I had this planned out from the very beginning, that I would include happy versus sad juniors in the “vice versa” part of the quote, and I think it worked out quite well! My first idea was to put the “vice versa” completely in the special font and have it typed out over the gifs like I did with the “vice” but as I typed out the “versa” I realized it had one letter too much to be able to do that 😭😭 it took me a while to come up with how I would position the “but” and “versa” and after some moving around I decided to just place them the way I did in the final gif! For the font, I duplicated the “vice” and added a stroke to the duplicate, then I changed the fill setting to 0% so I could slightly drag the duplicate away from the original layer to create the effect that’s in the gif — also, finding a scene in which Jin Ling smiles is really difficult.... he barely even smiles in the scene I ended up using :(

2.5 Jin Guangyao, Mianmian, Jiang Cheng, and Lan Xichen

The final gif!! I feel like this might come a little across as “I promise I didn’t forget these characters” because they’re a very odd quadruplet to put together, but they were the most important characters left to put in the set! I was thinking of putting Nie Mingjue in here together with Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen, but I did feel he fit more with his brother up in the second gif. Mei @mylastbraincql cheered me on making this gif for which I was very grateful :D <3 the layout came to be after I googled “how to evenly split a rectangle in four” because I didn’t want a repeat layout in the set (*/∇＼*)

2.6 Coloring

For the coloring I pretty much did all of the tweaking on the first gif and then copy pasted all of it onto the second, third, fourth, and fifth gif. This is usually the way I go about my coloring, I will always edit certain gifs if necessary but I don’t think I had to change the coloring much on any of these gifs? Maybe I added in a curve layer here and there, but nothing major! This is really one of my preferred coloring styles, even though I try to step outside of my comfort zones with other sets ^-^

3. Posting

I will always upload sets into my drafts and edit the caption in there as well, clicking on “preview post” a couple times to check everything looks good on my blog as well, before I post a set. However, this time, since there was a deadline and I finished before the deadline, I put this set in the queue so it would automatically post on the 1st of may! Knowing myself, I would’ve forgotten to do so </3

Whew that was... a lot 😭 did it make any sense? Probably not, but it was fun to ramble （ ´∀｀）

I’ll tag

@blinkplnk with this set !

@wuxien with this set !

@wendashanren with this set !

@wanyinxichen with this set !

@yibobibo with this set !

@mylastbraincql with this set !

@sugarbabywenkexing with this set !

@yiling-recesses with this set !

@jiancheng with this set !

Please feel totally free to ignore this if you’ve already been tagged and don’t want to do it again!! <3

#showyourprocess #tag game #this got so long i'm sorry ;-;#very curious to see everyone else's processes!!#thank you for the tag kris <3

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womenofwonder · 3 years ago

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*Ahem* Royai, duh?

✋How they met

Surprisingly, they didn’t meet at her father’s house. Not, actually it happened way back in kindergarten. Riza was quiet, and she dressed funny, and she always seemed dirty, so she was an target for bullying in the rather well to do private school they were in. On the first day of school Roy (who was a Casanova even at age six) decided this would be a good time to rescue a helpless damsel from the bullies surrounding her, taunting. Unfortunately, he underestimated the number and size of the kids teasing her and got his ass kicked. Luckily for him Riza quickly stepped into help. She smashed one bully’s nose in with her book and then pulled out a pocket knife. They all left in a hurry. And at that moment, Roy realized he was in love.

😘First kiss

Ah...so the first kiss wasn’t exactly a happy one. It was during Ishval. They had won a pretty important battle and everyone was celebrating. They both got drunk. The kiss felt good, and Riza probably would have been ready for more despite the circumstances (screw it, she was going to die soon anyway) but Roy walked off. Even drunk he couldn’t get rid of the feeling that he didn’t deserve her kisses, especially during a ‘celebration’ of him frying more innocent people. Riza honestly thought he had a problem with her and that was the first time she cried in Ishval.

🤯First fight

It depends on what you mean by fight. They got in a lot of fistfights as kids, but that wasn’t ever personal. They bickered constantly but the only big, painful fight they ever had was on promise day, when she almost had to shoot him. The first lighthearted, bickering fight they ever had was when he was apprenticed to her father and she would remind him to do his homework. Not much has changed, honestly.

🍷First date

When he was still an apprentice to her father, they used to wait until he was asleep and then Roy would take her places. He did it mostly to be nice, because Riza didn’t get a lot of fun and growing up in a brothel met he knew exactly which bars would give a couple of kids drinks. But they were honestly dates in everything but name.

💍How they got engaged

Well, they didn’t make the decision. Grumman declared they were getting married at one of his press conferences. “I have decided to end the anti-fraternization and allow my granddaughter to finally marry General Mustang.” Riza just looked at Mustang and said “Okay.” Later on he did do the entire fancy dinner date and gave her a expensive engagement ring.

💒Wedding

Actually, it was surprisingly small and private. It was really sweet and quiet. To everyone’s surprise Roy made Fullmetal his best man, mostly as a joke. Other than a very insulting speech about how Riza was probably out of her mind to marry such an idiot, he was really nice about everything. Riza’s wedding dress had a very high neck (to hide the scarring) and a very short skirt. She still has a gun holstered to her thigh, wedding or no wedding. Rebecca is the maid of honor, and as Riza honestly doesn’t have many friends both Olivier and Winry are bridesmaids. Of course, Elicia is the flower girl despite being a bit old for it. Hayate is the ring bearer. Just kidding. Maybe.

👶First kid

Riza got pregnant after the first year of the their marriage. It was an accident. Their feelings on the matter were conflicted. On one hand, both were thrilled to have a baby, but in the other hand, it didn’t really fit very well into their plans. How did being a parent figure in with the possibility of future with the fire squad? Not mention both were really worried that they would be horrible parents due to everything they’d done in Ishval. To make things slightly more complicated, it turned out they weren’t going to have one but two children. But when the babies do come: a little Rianna and Thomas, they’re beautiful. Of course, Riza and Roy are great parents and the kids actually help them have more faith in themselves.

🥰A random fluff moment

Riza had forgotten exactly how cold it was up north. Shivering, she blew on her hands in hopes of warming them.

“Here,” Roy said, offering her his coat.

“Don’t you need a coat sir?”

“I had use my flame alchemy to heat myself up,” he said.

“Since when have you mastered that ability sir?”

“Just take the coat.”

She took it.

“You’re shivering an awful lot sir. Are you sure you’re not too cold?”

“N-nope. I-I’m g-r-eat.”

“Sir, really, you can have this coat. You’re going to get frostbite.”

“N-no. You k-keep the coat-t. T-that’s an or-rder.”

Olivier gave them both a look. “Mustang, either freeze to death quietly or kiss her now so we get on with this meeting. I would personally prefer the former, but anything would be better than watching your painful attempts at being a gentleman.”

Riza took advantage of his shock to give him back the coat.

😭A random angsty moment

“Thank you,” she says, as if there’s anything to thank him for. As if he’s not about to torture her.

Roy was good at torturing people. He had plenty of practice at this point. He knew exactly how much of his flame it took to cause a certain amount of pain. At least he could make it hurt as little as possible.

“I won’t scream,” she promised.

“Yeah, you will,” he knew exactly how loud it would be too. He had heard it countless time from countless lips and now he was going to hear it from her.

She nodded, so calm about the entire thing. Took her knife, torn off some of her white coat and wadded it up in her mouth. Stepped forward. Turned around to him.

He told himself to hurry up and do it. Waiting would only hurt her more. It shouldn’t be this hard. He’d done it a hundred times before. What was one more person?

He snapped his fingers, and a familiar smell of burning skin filled the arid desert air.

😩A random hurt/comfort

Riza was exhausted. She wasn’t sure how doing just menial tasks could drain someone so much, but it probably had something to do with the fact that her boss was a homunculus holding her hostage. To make things worst, even coming home was no relief. The shadows were everywhere, even in her small, bare apartment. The second she let herself feel safe, or stopped thinking about the fact that she was being watched constantly, he (or rather it) would remind her. Maybe it was a sudden sense of a creeping bloodlust, or the glimpse of slitted eyes and slices of teeth, all which disappeared the second she looked. She had no privacy. These last few days she hadn’t even dared to bathe.

To make things worst, today someone had broken into her apartment. She couldn’t even fathom why they would do that. Wasn’t the constant surveillance enough? But it was too well down for a common thief. If she hadn’t know better she wouldn’t of even noticed it was broken into. But she had placed a slip of paper in the door when she went out, and now it was gone.

“You’d better have not made a mess of things,” she muttered, hoping Pride could hear it. She opened the door and for a second was frozen in shock.

They hadn’t broken into her apartment at all. Roy had.

Flowers filled up the entire place. Some in vases (really expensive looking ones), some hanging from the ceiling, some just randomly scattered about. In the middle of her kitchen table was a note and bottle of whiskey.

Black Hayate ran up to her, barking happily. She reached down to pet him, rather absentmindedly.

“That idiot,” she murmured, fighting a smile. “He’s crazy.”

She went over to the table and picked up the note.

To 1st Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye,

Look, I’m sorry, but I really didn’t know what to do with the flowers. Please don’t shoot me.

I hope you enjoy the whiskey. It’s really good stuff. And you sounded like you needed it.

Roy Mustang. (Riza had to squint at the doodle next to his name. Was that a heart made out of flames? Really? Yes. Yes it was.)

PS: before you ask, yes, I’m doing my paperwork.

Riza rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t stop smiling. The flowers left plenty of shadows, but for once she couldn’t bother feeling scared. She took a swig of the whiskey and enjoyed the burn down her throat. Black Hayate jumped into her arms, and she cuddled him.

Leave it to Roy. The first time he sent her flowers and he had to give her an entire cart worth.

#Royai #fullmetal alchemist #ships #roy Mustang #riza hawkeye #fluff #angsty #Whump #hurt/comfort #emotional whump

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levihan-drabbles · 3 years ago

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As we mentioned, this post is here for the artists who would like to participate in Levihan drabble week.

IMPORTANT : We have already made a post for the writers out there. Please check it out if you haven't already. The participation form closes on the 20th so don't forget to sign up!

Levihan drabble week begins on a Tuesday, 25th May. We have different themes for each day, (angst for Mondays, fluff for Fridays and even a contest on Wednesdays)

Saturdays, however, are completely reserved for the artists. Also known as comic Saturdays, its a day for the artists to draw anything (it doesn't have to be a comic) and post it on Saturday.

▶Is there any particular prompt or theme your art is supposed to be on? Yes, there is a theme for every drabble week. This week, the theme is Levihan in AU (pretty classic, we know) It can range from anything to even crossovers, so feel free.

to make it a little challenging, the mods will give each participant a letter their AU or crossover universe should begin with. The letters will be chosen on random and messaged to the participants on 20th May. You will have to post your art on Saturday, 29th May.

You should tag your art with #LHDartMay and mention us, @levihan-drabbles so we can reblog and share your stuff.

▶ Is this all for artists? Actually, no we have another project for all the talented artists here. However, its optional and up to you if you want to take part in.

We have explained in great detail about the surprise prompts the writers will get during the week in our earlier post. Please read it here.

To give a gist, this whole event emphasis more on quick, on spot thinking and drawing/writing. The writers will get their prompts one day before the day they need to post it.

Now this optional project is basically called the Doodle Portfolio Project. Basically, artists can choose their favorite prompts (as they get disclosed during the week) or maybe even do all of them, and draw quick doodles and cumulate them together.

Artist also get it a little bit easy, because you are required to post all the doodles (or if only did one) by the end of the week.

Also, please make sure to stick to doodles and not very detailed complicated drawing that are extremely time consuming.

Also, instead of sticking to the prompts given out by the mods for that particular day, Artists can alternatively, if they desire, draw something based on the drabbles that are posted by the writers. It all your choice.

▶What is the point of the portfolio? We are gonna hold various drabble weeks throughout the year. At the end of this year, all the doodles and their counterpart prompts (or drabbles that they are based on) will be put together into an actual ebook or levihan analogy for the year. And yes, this will also include all respective credits, your art for comic Saturdays, and each and every drabble and piece of work created for these events.

The posting criteria (what you need to tag and mention) remains the same for all portfolio works too. Just make sure, you actually mention that this art is for the portfolio when u post it on Tuesday, 1st June.

To participate, PLEASE FILL OUT THIS FORM. The last date to fill in is 20th May, so do it before that. You will be constantly updated, so don't worry!

if anyone has any questions, feel free to ask. Thank you so much, we will be looking forward for your participation! Much love.

#levihan #drabbleweekMAY'21

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shhhlikeme · 4 years ago

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Nin’s Matchup!

(SFW + NSFW)

Matchup Profile: Sfw+nsfw matchup pretty pls! (1/5) Name: Nin>Female>5’4>Film & sfx/theatrical makeup freelancer>V athletic in MS-HS: ballet, was in volley ball, soccer &Basketball teams>Miss my prime days>Scared to start workout again b/c I’ll get lightheaded>If sum1 helps push me through initial fear, I’ll keep growing from there> Likes chilling in ballet stretch poses>paints, photographs&draws as hobby>draws a pic a day (mostly portraits)>writing a comic atm >Always plan contingencies.🦄

(2/5) >embarrassed of my loud laugh(it’s like Kuroo’s)>introvert>not afraid to lead a team tho> V shy & quiet most times>8/10 times, feels awk in public,like idk what i’m saying, but others told me I seem social>Once I’m comfy w/ u, i joke a lot(occasional mum jokes 2 annoy+Sassy dirty ones w/ S/O)>hides behind ppl who likes 2 talk, but not when they’re 2 loud>laughs @ mistakes/when embarrassed>Will stop mistreatment, even if I get in trouble>values communication&genuine discussions🦄

(3/5) Sings when home alone>competes @ Street Fighter tournaments, trains everyday 4 it>Sings “Hit Me W/ Your Best Shot” when fighting bosses in game&swears melodically when i lose>eats chips w/ chopsticks >make hats out of my cat fur when bored>Workahokic night🦉>likes 2 teach >full convos w/ my 🐱>LIVES in oversized hoodies & flip flops, regardless of weather>no pants@home!>Feels incompetent sometimes, but keep practicing 2 improve>Analytical fast learner>idk why ppl think i look innocent🦄

(4/5)>Forgets 2 speak eng when tired (Thai 1st lang.)>Headrubs 4 s/o every night b4 bed>will miss u but is bad@texting>yelps like puppy when I’m surprised>Unconventionally resourceful: Wire hangers’s fixes everything! >stress bakes & will gets pouty if it didn’t turn out well.>overwhelmed to water my 50+ 🌱 >Doodles on smt (always have a pen on me)when i feel socially anxious> 2 dance sober @ clubs> Wants a stable relationship where we work tgt like a team to bring out the best in one another🦄

(5/5) I like a s/o who is lovable, kind, genuine, mature, independent and caring, but can also joke & be silly with like best friends. NSFW: open 2 try new things>❤️restraints, blindfolds & sensual tickle sex (as lee+ler) but had always been too shy to share it with any1>occasionally self conscious of food baby+stretchmarks>🥰edging/teasing >has a thing 4 height differences (likes to feel smol lol!) & primal play.>Is a switch. I’m so sorry if it’s too much info! Thank you for doing this!🦄

————————————

A/N: HI LOVE @crushzone !!!! I SMILE WHEN I SEE YOU IN MY NOTIFS GIRL I WORKED HARD ON YOURS OF COURSE💖 But no matter whaaaat I’m going to be very authentic in my matchups bc they’re based on compatibility and therefore, without further ado, lemme introduce you to your NEW BAE:

————————————

KŌTARŌ BOKUTO 🦉

SFW:

so you’re a theatrical makeup artist.

Aight.

Mind if I offer you a word of advice? :

RUN

“DUDE THAT’S AMAZING IT LOOKS SO SICK!”

Startled by someone’s loud booming voice, you smudged the eyeliner you were applying to your actor’s face all over their forehead. Whipping around to see who had disrupted your work you were faced with a beautiful black and grey haired owl. A rather tall... and very attractive ‘beautiful black and grey haired owl.’

He started walking around the dressing room like he owned the place, touching everything.

“Excuse me, you don’t have a badge. You can’t be backstage—!”

“Pretty obvious don’t you think, Miss ________?”

You didn’t take his bait, refusing to give this stranger your name. Bokuto shrugged.

“Well since I don’t know your name I shall label thee—Miss HOT GIRL of the 9 Kingdoms!” He nudged the knight actor who was sitting in your makeup chair with his elbow. “Did I sound 15th century ish or what??” The owl turned to you expecting to be praised. “I had to meet the person who made the medieval vampire look so scary in the last act. But that guy with the lights didn’t tell me anything about you being so hot.”

You were speechless because he was hot too

But he shouldn’t be back here so you tried to shoo him out anyway

He allowed you to try to shove him out but he was way bigger than you so nice try sis

When he yawned while you panted because you weren’t able to budge him an inch....

Bokuto wagered that he would leave if you agreed to make him look like the Hulk with your makeup skills for a Halloween party he had to go to

You didn’t really want to because you were a professional and you had no idea who this owl was but because you had 15 minutes until the second act and you needed peace and quiet if you were going to finish your job!!! ....

( This boy was not peace NOR quiet )

You agreed.... but because you answered so fast Bokuto kicked it up one notch

Prince of pushing his luck (king is reserved for Shōyo‘s extra ass)

He pretended to allow you to push him out of the makeup room a few steps but before you closed the door he stuck his foot between the door so it couldn’t close.

Smiling, he peered back in, looking down at you:

“AND...... you have to agree to go on a date with me. Tomorrow night?”

“Ugh FINE!”

Bo removed his foot and let himself out with a bounce in his step.

SERIOUSLY WHO LET THIS MAN BACKSTAGE......

Needless to say, after a few dates, mans won you over like he wins EVERYONE over

It surprised you how comfortable you became with him but he just has that affect on people

***

In terms of your athletic relationship Bokuto does many things:

He pushes you to go to the gym with him for one

He signs the two of you up for impromptu Beginner 30-day challenges that you both must stick to

So every morning for 30-days straight he jumps on you in bed to wake you up:

“NIN BABY TIME TO HIT THE GYM. BABY NIN TIME TO GET IN SOME SEXY GYM SHORTS. MON BÉBÉ NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNN—“

“Kōtarō, please shut up.”

he doesn’t

He drags you there and eventually you get back into the swing of things.. killing it in the weight room with your supportive man cheering on your every rep!

You don’t even need him to wake you up during the second challenge!

Your volleyball player boyfriend also signs you up (without permission) for the neighborhood soccer team that Akaashi’s girlfriend is already on

You hated it at first because it was uncomfortable going back after not playing for so long but you soon realized that all the girls there were ex-athletes too and not stars

You formed amazing new girl friendships (especially with Akaashi’s gf) and double dates with them were one of your favourite nights of the week!

You owed that happiness in your life all to your Owl 🦉🥰

He and Akaashi came to every soccer game y’all had and you and the three of you went to all of Bokuto’s games, obviously

Btw you all were FITTTTTT OML

***

In addition...

You already know that your man finds your artistic talents insanely fascinating

On your first anniversary together Bokuto gifted you with a new paint set and new French stand:

Because he admires you Bokuto also tries to draw and paint seriously just like you

You stand over his shoulder and give him corrections and baby owl learns so fast it’s amazing

You two make ‘paint night’ a thing when you move in together and it’s always the most fun event!!!!

Bokuto CONSTANTLY and I mean CONSTANTLY asks for you to add him to the comic you’re writing but you say no because he wouldn’t fit in

He sulks but one day you surprise him by showing him that you drew a cute soaring black and gray owl in the background of almost every outdoor scene in your comic,

you pointed out that it was him

BOKUTOOOO WAS SOOOOO HAPPY

HE WAS SHOUTING FROM THE ROOFTOPS

He called Akaashi right away and almost cried tears of joy hahahahaha

***

Your contingent based lifestyle has saved your reckless boyfriend’s life and career many-a-times

It’s one of the things he loves most about you.

Also, it is important to mention that he is in LOVE with your laugh

Bby owl does anything to hear it and showers your face with kisses when you laugh to draw it out

He loves you so freaking much

When you don’t make sense and speak gibberish in public because your awkward side randomly comes out......your boyfriend loves to make fun of you:

“Huh? Nin, that wasn’t Japanese, that wasn’t Thai and that definitely wasn’t English. What planet is my adorable baby girl from, again? And how do I return her in exchange for a floating space car instead?!”

suh cute

All of Bokuto’s teammates really like you because you work in conjunction with Akaashi which means you actually have the magic ability to get Bokuto out of emo mode even faster than his best friend 🤯🤯🤯

When he’s at an away game in emo mode his teammates will literally FaceTime you and point their phone in his general direction

“Hey, Kōtarō!!!! Look, Nin’s on the phoneeee!”

Bby owl turns around slowly when he was sulking in the corner and when he sees you on the screen he’s running and jumping on whoever is holding your phone.”

“Kōtarō baby. You’re going to stop this emo mode right now. If not I won’t let you paint me nude like we discussed.”

mans was like: 😨😨😨😨🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

YEP the next second you see him hitting his best practice spikes and his teammate thanks you profusely

You do this several times until Kōtarō just knows to not go into emo mode anymore because you won’t be happy

A year into his professional volleyball career The Black Jackal’s coach sent a surprise fruit bouquet to your work one time:

With a note that read:

To Nin,

Thanks.

Thanks a lot.

Love,

The Team

***

I know you don’t really like people who are considered “too loud” and Bokuto is like...... “MEGA LOUD 🎙 “ but you and Akaashi work together to quiet your boy down as he gets older

He’s perfect

And you love him

***

OKAY THIS IS THE FUNNIEST day THING:

You know how you like standing up for people (even strangers) and stuff?

Well one day, you and Bokuto get caught on a show called WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Where the two of you cussed out this cat-abusing actor on the show in a convincing scenario!

It was PRICELESS

Bokuto literally tells everyone that y’all are movie stars because of it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

***

More in the relationship:

Bo is always singing with you 💞 when y’all make breakfast it becomes a national sport to sing at the top of your lungs!!

And when he sees you eat chips with chopsticks he’s pulling a Hinata “🤩🤩🤩” face .

He begs you to teach him how

So you try

......and try

..................and try

He can’t do it bruv 😞

You see bby Owl’s emo mode return for the first time in like a year when the chip shatters between his sticks again

This time, you have to enlist Akaashi as the FaceTime saviour and Keiji just tells him:

“Bokuto. You should prefer eating chips with your hands anyway. It gets to your mouth faster.”

cue Bo’s 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 face

........And all is well again

There’s more:

So you’re a workaholic?

Bokuto is fine with that. He just makes you promise that he gets to take you out on your lunch breaks a few times a week or whenever he can

He’s so sweet and your coworkers are BIG jealous of your relationship

Your man BEGSSSSS you to teach him Thai but you find it too hard so when he’s travelling on a long flight he spends the time learning the language on YouTube (and actually get decent at it) so that he can understand you when you’re sleepy😴🥺💕

When Bokuto surprises you by wishing you goodnight in Thai before he falls asleep (while you’re giving him head rubs), your heart explodes BECAUSE why is he the cutest thing in the world ?!?!?!

RELATIONSHIP COMMUNICATION:

You don’t text/you’re bad at texting? That’s fine, mainly because bby owl is so busy with volleyball anyway, but if you don’t text him back when he is feeling needy the boy will call you 20 times in a row

When you finally pick up, your heart is beating like thinking it’s an emergency

But he will answer saying:

“Oh, no emergency. I just want booty pics. Please, Nin babyyyyy?”

you’re like: 😑

ANOTHER CUTE THING YOUR MAN DOES?????

AIGHT:

It’s cringey but.......

When you’re at work all day doing makeup and he’s home he will send you pics throughout the day of him taking care of your plants like they are y’alls newborn children:

His text:

Baby look!!! Ollie the Orchid grew to 7 inches today!!! Yesterday he was 6.8 inches!!!!! They grow up so fast 😭😭😭”

Your reply:

Not quite as long as your dick, Bo

His reply:

I hate when you get me horny when I’m trying to take care of the kiiiids 😭😭😭😭

Dkm

Of all the factors you look for in a man, Bokuto has all of them

Like I said he becomes much more mature when you and Akaashi are his closest compadres

What people don’t know is that Kōtarō is actually very mature he is just a hardcore optomist (besides emo mode lmao) so people often mistake him as immature or dumb

But He’s far from it and you see that everyday

It’s why you fell for him

When dealing with serious issues that life has to handle, you see a different side of Bokuto, a real side, the side he shows in every tough volleyball game when he makes you metaphorically step behind him so he can deal with any problem that comes your way

He would literally withstand all your battles if that meant you’d remain happy forever

We stan a relationship like yours💞

NSFW:

okay so you know how you chill in ballet 🩰 stretches sometimes?

THAT DRIVES KŌTARŌ WILD.

It turns him on so much and he is constantly testing how flexible you are in the bedroom

When you keep meeting his expectations he is POUNDING you cause he is so turned on

He fucking loves it

It also turns him on when you’ll be acting shy and stuff but then randomly you’ll lead your neighbourhood soccer team like a BAD BITCH

When he sees that he’s already asking Akaashi how long until the game ends because he’s horny:

Akaashi deadpans. “Too much information. And the game just started 3 minutes ago. Get a water and calm yourself.”

Bo is sad but it makes for one hell of a I’m-proud-of-you sexscape when you get home from your game!!

Your dirty jokes also turn Bokuto on.

A lot.

A lot a lot:

“Bo.....I was joking.”

“I know but if I hear the word ‘dick’ coming out of your mouth I automatically think of you blowing me so now I want us to go home.” He whines.

You sigh. He’s lucky he’s so fucking hot.

When you’re playing street fighter every night this boy will not leave you alone until you cockwarm him

“Nin can you pleaseeeeee warm my cock while you train? I miss you.”

Your concentration turns him on so he has to ask nicely 😊

You love his dick so of course you oblige

Bby owl is so happy just sitting there being in your company and in your warmth but sometimes or every time he ends up thrusting into you

Sometimes while he’s giving you deep slow thrusts he orders you to keep playing or he won’t get you off

Damn 🤤

Let’s not forget also that you drive your man wild by walking around the house in hoodies all the time and nothing else

Every day, another hoodie will be found in various RANDOM places in the house because Bo flings it off you before he makes love to you wherever, and they go missing

Finally, when you get all sad and pouty because one of your baker trials goes to shit (ruined chocolate brownies this time, boo 💔), your boyfriend is taking your hand gently in an instant, leading you to the bedroom:

“Don’t be sad my beautiful girl, you know how much I hate seeing you sad. It makes me sad.! Here, come in the room and sit on my face—I promise I’ll make you feel better.”

WELL DAMN—😳💦

Maybe you should screw up brownie recipes more often.

————————————

A/N: do you know the show what would you do??? Watch it on YouTube if you haven’t haha I couldn’t stop thinking about you and Bokuto being on it after reading your matchup profile!!!! I hope you liked it bb! Give me all your reactions, I want all the smoke 💞💞💞

#matchups #nin and bby owl #bokuto kotaro

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fanfic-scribbles · 5 years ago

Text

Lunch Buddy: Chapter Seven

Masterlist

<<Previous Chapter Next Chapter>>

Overall Story Facts:

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Story Summary: Steve Rogers makes a friend. A prickly, generally people-averse friend, but they’ll both take what they can get.

Quick Facts: Friendship (/Eventual Romance) – Steve Rogers & Reader (leading to Steve Rogers/Reader) – Female Reader

Story Warnings: Reader-insert that verges on OFC, written in 1st person past tense

Chapter 7: Bi Association

Chapter Summary: An accidental assumption leads to an emotional conversation. Being disasters is both a good and terrible thing to have in common.

Chapter Warnings: Talk of coming out, mentions of homophobia, mentions of past Steve/Bucky and past Steve/Peggy

Chapter Word Count: 3669

A/N: So at the beginning of the story I warned Reader/OFC is very definitely bisexual and that really comes into play here. I think this chapter was one of the ones that pushed me to keep OFC as an option for this story because coming out (or not) is a really personal thing. ‘Not all bi folk’ and whatnot. Otherwise, please enjoy these two doofs being terrible with real actual Emotions.

Job hunting was annoying, but surprisingly fruitful.

“Are you sure everything’s all right?” Steve asked.

“Yeah. Why?” I asked and looked at him.

“Your playlists are a little…” He gave the next word a lot of thought. “…Heavy. Lately.”

Poor sweet summer child, I thought. Apparently Lamb of God had taught him nothing. “You said you like Rise Against.”

“I do.”

“So we’re branching out,” I said and went back to my doodling. “Slowly but surely, we’ll get you to branch out even more.”

“I guess– wait. ‘Slowly?’”

“How about you?” I asked, focused on my crummy little tree. “You’ve been a little out of it this week.”

I thought he’d brush me off. Instead I got silence. I lifted my head again and did a double-take at the way he stared at…well, nothing that I could see. After a few seconds he shook it off– literally. “It’s nothing. I’m fine,” he said. “Don’t you have to go soon?”

I frowned at him. “If you don’t want to talk about it it’s okay; you don’t have to–” I caught sight of my phone and the clock numbers thereon. I jumped up. “Fuck!”

“I’m just trying to help,” he said calmly, and he held onto the rickety table while I threw my shit together. “It seems like you’re more reluctant to go back to work these days.”

Of course he noticed. But then, it was hard to be subtle when I dreaded ever seeing my boss in fear of him asking about how ‘It’ was going. I sighed, slung my bag on my shoulder, and faced Steve. “Work is…work. It gets like this sometimes.” I shrugged like it was nothing. “So if you’re ever looking for someone willing to be chucked at an evil alien or something…”

“I have your number,” he said, smiling at me, and I saluted and ran out.

There wasn’t much smiling over the next few days. For either of us. On at least two of those days I was setting up follow-ups and moping about being rejected from the perfect job. And on a day after that I went through most of my lunch break before I noticed that I had hardly spoken to Steve at all.

I then noticed that he was abnormally silent. He sat with his back even closer to the wall and had his sketchbook tilted up so that he was ensconced in his own little world. I watched him for a while. He ignored me and showed an unnerving lack of emotion. No concentrated frown or unhappy scowl, just…nothing.

“Hey,” I said gently. His hand slowed to a stop and after a deep breath he looked at me. Under such a dead stare I almost floundered– was it really my business?– but I managed to spit out, “Are you…okay?”

I should have asked him how he was but that was a mistake I realized too late. “Yes. I’m fine,” he said and went back to his dead-faced drawing.

I didn’t know how to follow up and it was very blatant that he didn’t want me to, so I went to put my second earbud in.

“But…thanks for asking.”

I hesitated but Steve showed no physical sign of having said anything. But just the words, even flat as they were, made me breathe a sigh of relief as I put my headphones in. Something was better than nothing.

We went through the same routine for the next several days. The next time I came in after that, though, he was sitting with a book, his sketchpad shut and sitting next to him, and at least an inch between his back and the wall.

Still, I was wary. “Hey,” I said as I sat down.

“Hi.”

He sounded…not normal, but not bad. Not exactly. Distant, sort of, in a way that I didn’t know if talking to him would be bothering him. But then his eyes flicked up and I tried to think of something to say. An apology for staring would have been nice, but a coherent string of non-creepy words didn’t make it from my brain to my mouth.

“I, um…” I held back a sigh and tried to think, damn it. It took me a bit but Steve waited patiently for me to spit it out. “I know I keep asking how you’re doing, and I-I don’t want to be annoying, so I’m– I’m fine to keep asking, if that’s okay with you, but…but it’s okay if you don’t want me to keep asking. I won’t be offended.”

He gave that some thought. “Is it selfish that I like being asked even though I don’t really want to answer?” he said at last.

“Personally I don’t think so,” I said. “But I also don’t think it’s bad to be a little selfish sometimes.” If he did, I didn’t know why in the world he ever associated with me.

His smile was small and sad. “I’m more selfish than most people want to believe.”

“Everyone is,” I said. “I know it might not be comforting, but…at least you're not alone?”

“In some ways,” he said, staring at his sketchbook. He rested his hand on it, slightly curved and gentle fingertips moving over it with short, light, absent strokes.

I was curious but I didn’t want to ask. Well, not directly. “Are you working on a project?”

He glanced at me and then looked back down at it. And kept looking.

“If you want to tell me to butt out–”

“I don’t.”

I shut up. Steve looked around the shop like he was checking for lurkers and eavesdroppers, but there was no one even close that I could see. He beckoned me to come closer so I hopped over to the chair next to him and scooted in.

He opened up his book to a portrait that was downright breathtaking. A man’s face was lovingly rendered in a mix of pencil and ink, and while the style was similar to Steve’s other drawings, it was so incredibly different just in the obvious amount of time and care spent on it.

“James Buchanan Barnes,” Steve murmured, moving his hand to rest right next to the sly smile and fondly shining eyes. “Bucky. He was…my best friend; he was…”

The thing was– I was not completely ignorant of Steve’s past. He had been a very important figure in history: medical miracle, war hero, and walking tragedy. He had never caught my attention because the textbooks always made him sound so noble and red-blooded American male and boring. But I’d had a classmate-kind-of-friend who had been obsessed with him for a period of time and so I knew some things just by osmosis.

I had thought that, at least, but I really should have considered the source that information had come from. Anything school had fed me had gone in one ear and out the other but my sorta-friend had, at one point, gotten my attention with an aside about Steve likely being involved with his ‘best friend’ Bucky. I hadn’t thought much of it at the time beyond ‘good for him’ but years of being (lurking) in certain communities on the internet had really made it seem like a true-but-generally-unspoken thing. That, and the fact that he had said nothing because he was too busy stroking the drawing, made it pretty damn clear to me.

So I thought nothing of it when I tried to fill in the blank with, “Your boyfriend?”

It was…the absolute wrong thing to say.

Steve’s head snapped up and his face changed through expressions almost too fast to name– shock was one, anger was another, then–

“What did you say?”

His voice was not stern, or scolding, or panicked. It was…chilling. I didn’t know what the hell to make of it, but it scared me. I couldn’t even swallow, my mouth was so dry. “I–I’m sorry; I didn’t–”

He leaned in close. I leaned back, but I could only go so far. “Where did you hear that?” he said low and glanced around the room.

I became vaguely aware of the world around us and, thankfully, we were completely unnoticed. I breathed a sigh of relief but I still felt shaky. The guy could give a death stare like no one’s business. “It’s okay, no one heard–”

“Where?!”

I didn’t know how to answer that, though I scrambled to try, only to be cut off by the buzzing alarm on my phone. I cringed and tried to shut it up. I’d rather be late for my crappy job than leave things like this. “I– S-so I–”

“Go.”

Steve’s voice was dispassionate and calm and he sat back in his seat. He kept his eyes on the table and his hand lay flat on the sketchbook’s cover. I was frozen, stunned by his coldness, but he ignored me. I packed up, feeling sick and miserable, but before I left I stopped and tried to apologize. He glared at me with eyes that looked full of hurt, so I tucked my tail between my legs and ran.

It was evening and I was just settling in to be sad and pathetic and rue the day I ever spoke to anyone ever when my phone alerted me to a message. Only one person texted me without calling first, and after going through my work day in a state of constant near-tears while I replayed that moment over and over in my head, I was too fucking tired to deal with him just yet.

My phone buzzed again though. And again. On the way off-chance that it was my boss with a work emergency, I reached out from the Blanket Pit of Misery to grab my phone from the coffee table. I almost wished it was my boss when I saw Steve’s name.

However.

Steve: This is going to sound forward Steve: But can I come over? Steve: Or can you come to my place

I raised both eyebrows. Thankfully, the next parts came quick.

Steve: I’m sorry for today Steve: And this conversation shouldn’t happen in text Steve: Or public

I sat up and stared at the screen. On one hand: ‘I’m sorry’. On the other hand: an in-person conversation. Ugh.

Me: I don’t want to fight

His response was immediate and came in a flood.

Steve: We won’t Steve: I promise Steve: I didn’t mean it; I panicked Steve: And I’m sure you already figured out why Steve: But I need to explain it Steve: Please

I was really tired. But I knew that panic.

Me: How the hell do you text so fast

I sent him my address and spent his travel time trying not to freak out. When he knocked, I started to freak out about the mess. I shoved the blankets to the corner of the couch and grabbed empty cups to dump in the kitchen sink on my way to the door. I then stood there for a second to give myself a once-over– lounging clothes, but clean, and I was mostly decent, so I opened the door before I could chicken out. Steve’s eyes were cast down and he was hunched over into his usual brown leather jacket. He lifted his head in my general direction but didn’t really look at me but for occasional glances. He looked about how I felt.

“I guess misery doesn’t love company,” he said lightly.

I rolled my eyes and stepped back so he could step in. “You're not nearly sadistic enough to know,” I said and shut the door behind him. “Do you want something to drink?”

“No thanks. I think I’m going to throw up.”

I had been going to the fridge but at that I stopped and turned to face him. Steve was still hunched and seemed to be shrinking more with every second. I took a step forward and stopped when he flinched. “Hey,” I said gently. “It’s not the 40’s anymore; I’m not going to turn you in.”

“Don’t joke about that,” he muttered.

“I’m not!”

I hadn’t meant to be so loud– even Steve looked surprised enough to have a spark of life again. But he was standing up and I had his attention, so I ran with it. “I wasn’t making a joke of it before and I’m not making a joke of it now,” I said, because I had to make him understand. Somehow.

“I know you weren't joking before.” He fell back onto the couch, which creaked. “It made it…worse.”

I opened my mouth but he held up his hand. I waited, but when he took longer to compose himself I slowly walked over and perched on the edge of the other end of the couch. I felt so stiff I probably would have been more comfortable if I had remained standing, but the silence was so absolute that getting up would be too disruptive.

“Some people knew,” he said, so softly that I leaned in closer on instinct. He raised his voice a little. “Nobody talked about it. Ever. We were…as careful as you possibly could be when you love someone that much.”

He didn’t look at me. I didn’t move. I wanted to…reach out, put an arm around him, do something, but I didn’t know if we were quite there yet. Or if he was okay with being touched at all.

“Peggy definitely knew,” Steve said, staring at the floor but obviously not staring at the floor. “And after Bucky…fell…she–”

Steve turned his face away and wiped it. I scooted closer and put my hand on his arm. He didn’t pull away, so I stayed, but I was stock-still, afraid that if I moved an inch in either direction he’d push or pull or run.

He faced forward again with a dry face and his throat pulsed with his swallow. “I loved her too,” Steve said. “I could have– if I had made it out, we could have been happy, you know?” His smile was sad and wistful and his eyes shone just a little too bright. “I like to think so, anyway. Peggy was never disturbed by it. Sometimes even made some comments that, I think, if we had all made it out…”

He shook his head and got to his feet. “Bisexual,” he blurted out. He kept his back to me and barely glanced back. “I like that; it– it suits me. I think.” He turned to face me. “But I’m not…out. Obviously.”

I nodded. My heart was racing and the more he stared at me the harder it hit my chest, the harder it was to say something. But he took a slow step back, said, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have–” and then he stared to leave and I couldn’t, I couldn’t leave that there. No matter what it meant for me.

“I’m not out either!”

He stopped right at the door. I was almost not breathing when he looked at me sharply, but apparently having very obvious heart failure attested to my earnestness, because his eyes widened and his hand slipped from the knob. I swallowed and sympathized with how he’d had such a hard time with it. I felt like I was swallowing an egg-sized rock. But then he was utterly silent, so I asked, “Well? Does misery love company now?”

He flinched. “That’s not something to be miserable about.”

I shrugged, because that was easy to say, wasn’t it? He shifted from one foot to the other and looked extremely uncomfortable. It took me a moment to realize why that might be. “Yes,” I said and he nearly jumped. “We can be closeted bi besties.”

“I didn’t…mean to make you come out. I just–” He ran his hands over his face and through his hair. “I’m sorry. I’m a mess right now.”

“Just right now?” I asked. He actually made a sound that was kind of like a laugh. I sighed. I felt almost completely drained, but at least the hard part was done and over. “Take off your jacket and sit down,” I said and went to the fridge. “I don’t want you to break down in a cab or something.”

“I drove.” But Steve shrugged off his jacket and threw it on the coffee table as he sat back on the couch. “Motorcycle.”

“Even worse.” I brought back two water bottles and set one in front of him before I dropped onto the cushion right next to him. “I’m not gonna be the last person to see you before you wrap yourself around a pole.”

“I’d survive it.”

That was way too flippant and I couldn’t be trusted to touch it without also getting darker than I felt comfortable with. “Well, I’m sure you have a nice bike that doesn’t deserve that.”

We both sat in awkward silence. He picked at the paper wrapping and I chewed on the bottle rim, occasionally consuming some water by accident just because the damn thing was so full. “I’m sorry,” Steve said quietly. “That could have gone better.”

I put the bottle down. “Coming out is always awkward.”

“Even for you?” he asked and lowered his voice for, “Even now?”

“There’s always going to be someone, always,” I said. “And some that do it because, uh…they care, and they think it’s safer if you just… But– the times I’ve come out, I don’t regret it. Even when it blew up in my face. I never– I just don’t trust people, and sometimes I’m scared of what that makes me, of how detached I get, in the interest of keeping myself safe. I’m glad that, sometimes, even I can still trust people. Even if it’s just a little bit.”

I didn’t really expect anything, but of everything, I really didn’t expect Steve to turn his body and hug me so suddenly I went “oof!” He didn’t hold tight though, so I crossed my arm over to my shoulder to pat his hands awkwardly. And then, because he was hugging from my side and I couldn’t really return the gesture, I slipped my other arm around his back.

“Me too,” he said and let me go. “I’m…glad you can trust me with that.”

“Same,” I said. “Even if it was unintentional. I’m sorry; even if I was right I shouldn’t have said it like that. I know how that heart attack feels, so– I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you,” he said. He still sounded utterly miserable though.

I nudged him. “I promise I won’t say anything. It’s no one’s fucking business, right?”

He breathed. “In theory,” he said. He lifted his head and stared at nothing. “I’m going to have to make it be, though.”

Considering the guy couldn’t come out to defenseless old ‘tries not to talk to anyone else ever’ me without freaking the fuck out, coming out to the world seemed like a leap. “Why?”

He didn’t answer at first; he just sat there clenching his jaw so hard I was afraid he’d break his teeth. Then he stood up and paced, but from the marching motions it didn’t look like it helped much. Granted, my apartment was only so big and he couldn’t get a good stomp going, but still.

“I wasn’t going to,” he said and stopped. “I thought I could get around it, brush off interview questions and just act stupid. But then…” The muscles in his neck rippled with his swallow. “I was talking to this kid one week. They were so sweet, and they had a– a rainbow flag pin on their bag. I wanted to compliment it, but they saw me looking and covered it up. Then they made some excuse and left.”

He just stood there, but when I tugged at his shirt he plopped right down next to me. “They didn’t want to know,” I said softly, because as much as it sucked for him, I could really sympathize with that kid.

“And I hate it,” Steve spat like he was full of bile. “I hate trying to skirt those questions, I hate that the people who would have beaten me to death before the war look at me like they think I’m on their side; I hate that anybody like me is afraid to ask anything other than ‘are you okay that I exist.’” He sighed. “Most of all, I hate that I’m such a fucking coward I haven’t just said it yet. I need to, for my own sanity, but it’s…terrifying.”

I wished there was something I could say, something smart, or comforting, or even just kind. However I had a big load of nothing, so I just kept my arm around him and hoped it was enough that I was there. I hoped that he knew I understood.

He sat there, silent, but he didn’t leave, and eventually I got an idea. “Hey,” I said and got up. “Since you’re here, come on; I’m gonna show you how to play a video game.”

He didn’t protest, and even let me tug and shove him around until he was sitting on the edge of my bed and holding the controller in his ridiculous bear paws. “Fuck, your hands are big,” I said and eyed them. Maybe this was a bad idea. “You’ve got a gentle touch, right?”

He looked at me and made his lips a flat line. “You’ve seen me use tablets and phones.”

“Okay, point,” I said and settled in as the system loaded.

“I mean, I broke a half dozen of each before I got the hang of it, but I’m sure it won’t take me that many this time.”

I glared at him and he smirked, the little shit. As the starting screen came up I sat back. “Well,” I said. “At least if you break my controller you won’t have to worry about that pesky ‘coming out’ bullshit.”

He laughed.

It was probably good that he thought I was joking.

<<Previous Chapter Next Chapter>>

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers & reader #captain america fanfic #avengers fanfic #reader insert #lunch buddy

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thoseindarkness · 7 years ago

Text

I was tagged in a thing

Now I'm doing a thing. This should be fun.

Tagged by @rex-luscus. I’m a little concerned because I don't actually know 11 people on Tumblr so this will be interesting.

***

Answer the questions given to you. Make 11 questions of your own. Tag 11 people.

1. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleeping and why?

Less than 48 hours. I love sleep too much. I sometimes need to reset my sleep schedule because I stay up too late so I'll pull an all nighter. That's it. I'm pretty sure I have an odd Circadian rhythm. I was just reading about it (for the millionth time) today.

2. How did your first encounter with pornography go?

It was a long time ago. I remember a few times where I caught the HBO porn transitions late at night. Those were fun because the movie would just cut off mid-scene and switch to porn. I also have memories of cruising for porn online in college. I had my own computer. I was on my own for the first time. It seemed like the natural thing to do. Then my Dad did a system clean up on one of my home visits and yelled at me for it. I guess he saw my browser history. Ooops.

3. Do you own any objects that you’ve owned for more than three-quarters of your life? If so, what?

Yes. I have a baby bracelet. It's common for Cubans to have them made up with the child's name. I have a ring I found when I was in elementary school that I've never gotten rid of. Finally, I have all my favorite childhood books, The Giver, The Great Gilly Hopkins, The Last of the Really Great Wang Doodles, Mandy, Island of the Blue Dolphins, and others.

Bonus: That book on the bottom “Incredible Amazing Question and Answer Book” was a prize I won in the 1st grade in Mr. Cummings class. I still remember it clearly.

4. If you were a plant, what kind of plant would you be? What would you look like, and how would you be potted? I want details.

I am something in the Bonsai family. Small, spade shaped, waxy leaves that don't form a full canopy but odd bundles. I bear neither flower and no fruit. My branch structure is a funny, winding thing with lots of interesting knots. My branches are brown. Just, plain old brown. At my largest I can never grow more than a couple feet. I'm easy to keep at home on a windowsill or desk. Water me no more than once or twice a week and don't give me too much sunlight. Pot me in bowl shaped, ceramic planter with bright colors and unusual patterns. Don't forget to buy one with little holes on the bottom so that if you over-water me the excess can run off. You wouldn't want me to drown would you? I like earth best, with stones is possible. Finally, I would enjoy your quiet company and if you sang to me or read to me I would grow twice as fast.

5. What was your least favorite game (or activity) in gym class?

Running. Ugh. I think runners high is a myth people use to sell frictionless pants.

6. If someone paid you a huge chunk of money to write a book, and it didn’t have to be good and could be about literally anything you wanted, what kind of book would you write?

Dirty limericks… because why the hell not?

7. Have you ever been in a play?

Yes. A few in high school. We did a stage version of the Mel Brooks movie Young Frankenstein, 12 Angry Men (which we changed to 12 Angry Jurors so it could be co-ed), and the dinner theatre madness that was Tony & Tina's Wedding. There was also my senior showcase in which I played Kelly Osbourne and 'The Goth Girl'.

8. Do you have a hobby during which you stop thinking and get totally absorbed? (Or if you are happiest when doing ten thousand things at once, what do you most like those things to be?)

There is one thing in which I am completely focused on what I'm doing with no stray thought: signing.

9. If all of the Star Wars films were destroyed and you could never see them again except for, oh, say, 30 seconds of footage, what would you want those 30 seconds to be? (If you are not a Star Wars fan, please substitute any beloved film/film franchise here.)

Fuuuuuuuuck. It would be Ben's conversation with Rey in TLJ where she calls him a monster. His side of it.

10 .What’s a film or book you loved as a kid that did not stand up to a rewatch/reread?

Books never disappoint. Ever. It sucks admitting this because Batman is my favorite superhero… Batman: The Animated Series. I went back to it and the nostalgia was still there, but my love of the franchise has evolved with age and it didn't hold up.

11. Who’s the weirdest, “couldn’t make this person up if I tried” historical figure you’ve ever heard of?

It's a tie for me between Poe and Tesla. Both of them are pretty damn strange. Tesla probably has the edge if by a hair.

***

I nominate the following people to answer the questions below. Sorry mutuals that I’ve never spoken to. Good luck!

@wonderingwomen7692, @ behalterfaust, @officialwashburne, @cracktheglasses, @kuzcospoiscn, @thefoureyedjedi, @classichysteriaa, @fandommedley, @lesbian-katieholt, @marismoods, @isabellaandersonbird

***

My questions for other people

1. What was the first thing you can remember wanting to be 'when you grow up,’ why did it change, and how do you feel about it looking back? 2. When was the first time you can remember feeling like an adult? Explain. 3. Is there something about your life that you feel like you're still a child, good or bad? Explain. 4. How important do you consider other people's perceptions of you… be honest! 5. What drew you to Tumblr and is it the same reason you're still here now? 6. Is there a movie (yes a movie specifically) that you can practically recite from memory, why, and who do you share it with? 7. Do you have a litmus test for people? A movie they have to watch, book they have to have read, musician they have to have listened to, opinion they have to share? Why is it important to you? 8. Do you consider yourself creative or analytical? Explain. 9. What is your favorite food? 10. What song(s) do you have to belt out at the top of your lungs every time you heart it(them)? 11. Describe the most powerful emotion you've ever felt and why it resonated with you so deeply.

#question challenge #i did a thing #pass it along #sorry mutuals #bombs away #welcome to my world #no q for u

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lodchen · 7 years ago

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Everything GREAT about Inktober -or rather: I dare you to START TODAY!

So, with Inktober coming to an end again, I really felt the need to share with you guys, why I am super excited about this challenge and why you absolutely should start it today, if you haven’t already.

There are many good reasons why you should take part in Inktober, or a similar challenge, to grow as an artist.

First of all, you are going to create something every single day for that month. And that’s great! It doesn’t really matter how much you do each day. Not everyone of us has the time to do a full piece of art every day for a whole month, and that’s totally fine, you don’t have to. What you do have to do though, is to estimate how much you actually will be able to do, and set your goals accordingly. I actually would advise you to set your goals lower than you think you would need to, because life has a habit of getting in the way of plans, and also it’s a lot easier to stay motivated and actually get started each day, for 31 days, if you know you have only to work 10 minutes on something, rather than 10 hours. And in the end, it will be a lot more rewarding to have 31 sketches that you worked on for that 10 minutes each day, than that one super amazing 10 hour painting that you started on October 1st, but never got to finish.

And even if you’d rather have one super amazing 10 hour painting than those 31 sketches, that really is not the point of doing a challenge like Inktober. These are the reasons why: Being creative every day is actually the best thing you can do, when you are stuck in an art block. But how, do you ask? Because you have an art block, right? You have no ideas, no motivation… Well, first of all, there always is an official prompt list created by Jake Parker. Go ahead and follow the daily prompts, if you don’t have ideas on your own! “But Lodchen”, you may say, “even with the official prompts, I still just don’t know what to draw!” I know, this might happen. But the great thing about Inktober is, there are tons and tons of other artists participating each year. Have a look what other people do, get inspired by their art. And remember, you are going to do 31 drawings that month. It really doesn’t matter that much if your ideas aren’t the most creative ones, or if you feel that you lack the skill to execute them well. Just get started and work these creative muscles! You will find it easier to come up with ideas after a couple of days, I promise you. Maybe you had an idea on October 4th, that you didn’t end up using, you can go ahead and draw that on the 5th. Or maybe a combination of prompts will just spark an idea. For example, one of this years prompts was “graceful”. The first thing that I thought of was a ballerina. The prompt for the very next day was “fat”, and the second I first read the official prompt list, I instantly felt the urge to draw a fat and graceful ballerina! I didn’t end up drawing it, because I was afraid people might be offended, but honestly, I still am a little sad I didn’t do it.

And that, at the same time, is another great reason, to do Inktober. If you are serious about the challenge, and you miss a day, or rather miss the opportunity to create something, you will be angry with yourself the next day -and that will make sure it’s not happening again for the rest of the challenge.

And if you are afraid your own judgement won’t be enough to keep you going, tell other people that you are going to do this challenge. And show them what you did, too! This way, if you miss a day, everybody will know you failed - and you don’t want this, right? Telling other people what your goals are so that you are going to lose credibility if you don’t end up doing it is one motivator to keep you going, and if you struggle with self discipline this might be a helpful thing to do. But of course it’s only one of the many reasons, why doing Inktober and posting your results online is great! Besides the fact that you don’t want to let the people down to whom you promised to do one piece of art a day, being part of a creative crowd might be just the thing you need right now! Maybe you have been feeling down about your art, or maybe you just usually don’t feel comfortable showing your art. Showing your art to other people and get feedback can be such a huge motivation!

For me, this Inktober was all about becoming comfortable showing my art, even though if it’s nothing I am particular proud of. Before now, I always thought that most of my stuff was too bad to show to other people, and that they wouldn’t be interested in sketches like this anyways. Well, guess what? I got some really nice comments, and I actually enjoy sharing my Inktober pieces, now! I even might continue to do and show similar stuff in the future!

Inktober is a great opportunity to find other artists, check out their art, write some nice comments, maybe ask a few questions about how they do stuff, and just engage with the community. And in the end, you might even end up making some friends.

Of course, there is more to the challenge than just doing 31 drawings in 31 days. Maybe for you the challenge is to practice a certain topic, to get accustomed to a new medium, or just to get outside your comfort zone in general. So I think even if you don’t have to follow the official prompts, it is a great idea to do so! I did it the first time this year, and I think it’s just so cool to see how many different things I’ve drawn, that I wouldn’t have drawn otherwise! It really helps to avoid doing the same generic drawings each day. For example, when I participated in Inktober last year, most of my drawings where portraits, a lot of them front view, and a lot of them witches, because… halloween, right? That sure wasn’t a bad thing to do and it still was good practice, but a bit boring, right? Now in comparison this year, when I followed the official prompts, I still managed to do a couple of portraits because I enjoy doing them, but I also drew a ot of animals, that I usually never draw. I drew (cute) monsters, something I never did before. I did a couple more landscape-focused drawings and did one doodle-page that I just wanted to make as crowded as possible - all of that I wouldn’t have done, if it wasn’t for Inktober.

In the end, a lot of the question “why should I participate in Inktober” depends a lot on what is important to you. It can be a purely artistic challenge, if you want to get familiar with a new medium or style of art. It can be about you as a person, if you want to improve your self discipline. Or it can be all about getting to know new people and just have fun. And this is what’s so great about Inktober. Make the challenge your own, but do it!

And if you still really don’t know why you should do Inktober, or are just scanning this article and didn’t want to read the above, here are some reasons why Inktober is great:

Inktober... ...can get you out of an art-block ...motivates you to produce a lot of art in a short period of time (love that feeling when you finished a sketchbook? Buy a small one with 32 pages and fill it up completely in just one month!) (or maybe you have that huge project in your head that you never find the time to start? Inktober is perfect for that, too!) ...helps you to become/stay creative / can spark new ideas ...let’s you practice a new art style or medium ...challenges your self discipline ...challenges you to explore other topics

… or pretty much anything else you can think of

And as a result, you might even learn a thing or two about yourself, maybe find a topic that you never thought of drawing but really enjoy drawing now, or find a new art style that you really enjoy doing.

So, if you haven’t started on Inktober, yet, or if you did, but quit at some point, I dare you to do one (more) Inktober piece today! Get started today, get creative, get productive, do something that you enjoy and kickstart your creative journal!

If you want to, go ahead and tag me ( @lodchen ) in your submission, and I’ll make sure to have a look at it and leave you a comment :)

#inktober #inktober2017 #arttalk #art talk #motivational #motivation

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meimi-haneoka · 7 years ago

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Card Captor Sakura Clear Card Prologue: Sakura to futatsu no kuma

Oh here it comes, you know it would’ve come sooner or later... I chose to wait a little bit to have a clearer mind, but now enjoy my long-ass review! xD

So, where to start from? It was year 2000, here in Italy the manga was being serialized and almost over (volume 12 came out in Japan in July, here in December) and I was reading news that Card Captor Sakura, the masterpiece that took my heart away, was finally over both in anime and manga version during that summer.

Later I would read interviews in which Clamp, at the question "Will you do a sequel one day?", always replied with determination "No, we don't intend to". I can't even count the times I wished for a sequel, even if the story was somehow closed beautifully, but it ended right where I wanted to see more of the two main characters finally together, and at Sakura being the most powerful magician in the world, with infinite possibilities .

After 16 years, unbelivably, that dream came true, and now after 17 years we have our first anime taste of Clear Card Arc, starting right from that beautifully drawn manga ending that I loved so much. And when that PV came out on that unforgettable April 1st, at the very first moments I didn't realize it was all new animation. I thought they were compiling old scenes (They were showing the school, the bridge....) but then she turned around and my heart exploded! And now we're finally here, with this OAD/OVA how-you-wanna-call-it. We were expecting so much from it, and I for sure am pleased with the result.

Let's see the aesthetic part: Sakura and Syaoran are absolutely stunning for the most part, the proof is that Tumblr is flooded with pretty screencaps and gifs of our little lovebirds! We were worried that they wouldn't pinpoint the right balance between the 90's style and an updated version, but boy I don't think they could've done any better.

I also am grateful that they didn't steer dangerously into the moe genre with this style, and it was so easy, because Mokona herself is lingering on that sometimes in the manga. The kids look "older" than the 90s version but still recognizable as kids their age, so it's perfect. The little we can see of junior high schooler Sakura and Syaoran confirms that they look yet again slightly older.

Let me just say I also LOVED how they put a lot of emphasis on the eyes of the characters when they had something very important crossing their minds, it helped showing their emotions a lot. The backgrounds are very detailed and you can even read the bus schedule on the column at the bus stop, lol!! I won't even mention the cherry blossoms during the walking sequence, because I think we pretty much agree that they were stunning (I heard about this scene since the AX premiere).

The animation: really good, a few moments into the prologue we see Syaoran entering the classroom in a rush, and I had shivers seeing how detailed was his walking and the movements he did to take his hat off ! I was still so used to the 90's animation, but that's where my brain said "welcome to modern animation!". It flows beautifully.

Nothing big to say about the music because, eh, it's just the very same of the old tv series! But I appreciated that they actually threw in both a soundtrack from movie 1 and a soundtrack from movie 2, as if to say "hey, those two are still canon, we won't forget about them!". On the other hand, I absolutely LOVE the new Tomoyo song, it makes me so so emotional and I can't wait to listen to a proper single version!

And now let's see the cons (yessir there's pros and cons) of this OAD: maybe a little too much brightness (it's a shoujo though, we don't have to forget that), some weird looking frames, especially of Tomoyo (I mean, of course there would be some), the fact that they stick way too much to the manga, down to those damn doodle-like classmates that made people laugh/discuss so much. Yeah Madhouse, if you were testing the waters, please don't do that again, don't copy the manga panel-per-panel, I want to see Morio Asaka's directing choices too :)

Last but not least....where to place this OVA? How is it considered? After the anime ending? No way. It's a rewriting of the last couple of episodes of the anime, but then they come and tell us that The Sealed Card is another story leading to Clear Card....excuse me? And how the hell are we supposed to tie that, seeing how Eriol's mansion ended up (destroyed, fyi)?

My favorites scenes are: Sakura finding out about Syaoran moving away, and the bus scene of course. With Tomoyo's song in the background it tugs at my heartstrings everytime!

All in all, I really can't wait for the new anime series in January 2018, and actually hope they'll release a PV soon enough!

#Card Captor Sakura #cardcaptor sakura #clear card prologue #ccsakura #clamplove #ccs spoilers #kinda

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