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tslightninginabottle · 5 months

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We Are Reputation

Or, An Argument For The Reformation of Community Subculture

Two Days Ago The Tortured Poets Department for Taylor Swift dropped. I have friends who like Taylor Swift. I have friends who love her. I’ve tried to explain to them what this album makes me feel and the more commentary I see online from Twitter, Threads, TT… I feel like, while no one needs my opinion, I want to say it online. So this post is going to be long. If you don’t want to read it, if you don’t care, scroll away. It’s anonymous, because at the end of the day, I doubt I’ll come back to this blog.

I've shifted between posting or deleting for days. This is not very well edited. It's mostly rambling and I understand that. Some points may be connected vaguely. It might seem like I'm contradicting myself. It's messy and raw, and I'm just tired. But if I’m going to do it at all. I’m going to do this as right as I can.

Thus it’s in the form of an academic essay. Unlike other Academic essays, it is not riddled with an intense amount of quotes or sources. This is an opinion piece. But I think for the sake of the TTPD release, the structure is very… fitting.

Introduction (I.E. the TLDR for those of you who don’t understand how an academic paper is structured)

Taylor Allison Swift, has been Taylor Swift (capital T, capital S, with the TM brand symbol) since the age of 16 years old. She has gone through a cycle of expectations three times, and now she is tired. She is begging her fans to listen, and many of them refuse to do so. She is capable of creating great art with great vulnerability, we as fans are no longer equipped to handle it. Ultimately there is a chance that she is afraid of shaping her own ability, because of us. The only way we as a fandom can change is if we redefine our community now before it’s too late. And if she stops after album 13 it will not because she does not want to, it will be because we have destroyed her.

Taylor Swift (TM)

For those who are reading this, and have made it thus far, chances are you know who Taylor Swift is. Whether that means you know where she grew up (Christmas Tree Farm), when she moved to Nashville (14), the names of her cats, her mother’s medical history, secret sessions, VMAs, easter eggs, accidents, eating disorders, a myriad of too many details that we know about a person we have never met, and the loves of her life. Whether this is friends or relationships, you probably know, all of their names. How each one came and went in her life. Through songs and through tabloids, screaming her name, screaming their names, trying to defend her honor when the world calls her childish for only singing about the heartbreak. You know. Thus, this message is to you: for all you know about Taylor Swift, have you stopped to think of who Taylor Swift is? Truly? Not projecting your own thoughts onto her. How using your long list of check boxes and check marks and “I’ve been here this long and I’m a better fan because I know this much.” Have you, do you, know her? Because I don’t.

When I got my first iPod in 2006, I had five songs on it that I bought with my own money: Thnks fr th Mmrs, Umbrella, Fergilicious, Our Song, and Tear Drops on My Guitar. In 2008 I had my who family memorize the lyrics to YBWM because we listened to it too often. I saw the 2009 VMAs happen live on television. In 2010 I was screaming Mean in the shower when I had no reason to; I was happy. In 2012, I got my choir to sing a mashup of IKYWT. In 2014, I was racing down the aisles of Target at Midnight to get 1989. I was a bystander during Snakegate. I was sitting in my car in 2017 reading potentially my favorite prologue I’ve ever seen. Then I was subsequently let down by the album as a whole. I was likewise disappointed in 2019. When Folklore came out, it was the first album I ever sent to my non-tailor swift friends. They loved it. I did it again with Evermore. Midnights came out and I sat in my living room with my brother and his girlfriend, screaming, talking, the first listen party I ever had where it was not just me alone. When TTPD came out, I was alone again.

Don’t come for me and say I’m not a real fan. It’s okay to admit disappointment. I never expected her to change to my will, however. I never yelled about it online. I simply accepted that it wasn’t for me and moved on, waiting to hear the next thing to see if it was. I stood by her, not because I loved her or I idolized her, but because I resonated with her, and sometimes that resonating wasn’t perfect but I accepted that.

Or maybe do call me a fake fan. I really don’t care what you think of me. I just need you to know that I’ve seen this. I know this. I know what you know, if not more. But all the same, despite me reading the tabloids, reading the magazines, having the posters, listening to all the music, I have never thought I actually knew Taylor Swift. And yet…

There are people online right now, being critical about this album. Some say it sounds bland, the same as what has come before but not as electric and ground breaking. Some say she needs an editor. Others say she is trying to recreate catching lightning in a bottle and failing. There are those online who are giving the paternity tests to the songs right now, proving to me that you never bothered to actually read, let alone understand what TS is saying to you.

You were too focused on “If I only hung out with my female friends, people couldn’t sensationalize or sexualize that-right? I would learn later on that people could and people would.” That you MISSED: “I had become the target of slut-shaming-the intensity and relentlessness of which would be criticized and called out if it happened today. The jokes about my amount of boyfriends. The trivialization of my songwriting as if it were a predatory act of a boy crazy psychopath, The media co-signing this narrative. I had to make it stop because it was starting to really hurt. / It became clear to me that for me there was no such thing as casual dating, or even having a male friend who you platonically hand out with. If I was seen with him, it was assumed I was sleeping with him. And so I swore off hanging out with guys, dating, flirting, or anything that could be weaponized against me by a culture that claimed to believe in liberating women but consistently treated me with the harsh moral codes of the victorian era.”

Go reread the Reputation prologue for me real quick. Or actually better yet, here:

Here’s something I’ve learned about people. We think we know someone, but the truth is that we only know the version of them they have chosen to show us. We know our friend in a certain light, but we don't know them the way their lover does. Just the way their lover will never know them the same way that you do as their friend. Their mother knows them differently than their roommate, who knows them differently than their colleague. Their secret admirer looks at them and sees an elaborate sunset of brilliant color and dimension and spirit and pricelessness. And yet, a stranger will pass that person and see a faceless member of the crowd, nothing more. We may hear rumors about a person and believe those things to be true. We may one day meet that person and feel foolish for believing baseless gossip. This is the first generation that will be able to look back on their entire life story documented in pictures on the internet, and together we will all discover the after-effects of that. Ultimately, we post photos online to curate what strangers think of us. But then we wake up, look in the mirror at our faces and see the cracks and scars and blemishes, and cringe. We hope someday we'll meet someone who will see that same morning face and instead see their future, their partner, their forever. Someone who will still choose us even when they see all of the sides of the story, all the angles of the kaleidoscope that is you. The point being, despite our need to simplify and generalize absolutely everyone and everything in this life, humans are intrinsically impossible to simplify. We are never just good or just bad. We are mosaics of our worst selves and our best selves, our deepest secrets and our favorite stories to tell at a dinner party, existing somewhere between our well-lit profile photo and our drivers license shot. We are all a mixture of our selfishness and generosity, loyalty and self-preservation, pragmatism and impulsiveness. I've been in the public eye since I was 15 years old. On the beautiful, lovely side of that, I've been so lucky to make music for living and look out into crowds of loving, vibrant people. On the other side of the coin, my mistakes have been used against me, my heartbreaks have been used as entertainment, and my songwriting has been trivialized as 'oversharing'. When this album comes out, gossip blogs will scour the lyrics for the men they can attribute to each song, as if the inspiration for music is as simple and basic as a paternity test. There will be slideshows of photos backing up each incorrect theory, because it's 2017 and if you didn't see a picture of it, it couldn't have happened right? Let me say it again, louder for those in the back... We think we know someone, but the truth is that we only know the version of them that they have chosen to show us. There will be no further explanation There will be just reputation.

You don’t know Taylor Swift. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve read her lyrics and you’re sure. I don’t want to hear another person say “She’s giving us her diary.” She is curating it. Editing it. She is a poet. She is shaping her image into exactly what she wants it to be. She is showing us the worst parts of herself on purpose, because it feels as if she is tired of hiding the full maltifaceted person that she is.

However, she is a marketing genius. She is a billionaire. She is not the girl next door, your very best friend, the girl you’d give your kidney to. You don’t know her. You don’t know anything about her relationships other than what she says on her songs — and the tabloids that are like 90% wrong anyway. We only know what she is giving us, analyzing the lyrics and coming up with more incorrect conclusions than correct. You don’t know her. You only know her reputation.

And every time you chant. Reputation! Reputation at her concerts, in the comments, in the theories, the more feral you are over it, the more you prove her point. At this point, it feels like people care more about her reputation than her. And it seems as if she’s tired of explaining it to us, because all we care about is the show. “Breaking down, I hit the floor. / All the pieces of me shattered / as the crowd was chanting “more!” (TTPD, ICDIWABH)

The Cycles of Hate

We all know the story of reputation. Snakegate. Kanye. Kim. The social media blackout. The comeback of a century. The KYS. I wish Taylor Swift was Dead. She’s just a bitch. I knew she couldn’t be trusted.

Fun fact. That was Taylor Swift after 1989. Taylor Swift during the Era’s tour could eat that Taylor for breakfast. Her fame is astronomically bigger, full on universal. If you didn’t know this, IDK where you’ve been, but it’s the truth. We’ve seen her grow from that It Girl Popstar. To THE Generation defining popstar. Taylor Swift was named Artist of the Decade for the 2010s because she was the artist of the decade. And to the haters out there, this post is not meant for you. I don’t want to hear it. You can in fact walk down the street and start the song Love Story and people will know the song. Even in other countries. People know Taylor Swift (TM).

In the cycle of popstars, newer shiny popstars often replace the older ones. And Taylor Swift, one day, will be no exception. The difference is, unlike most of those other women and men— I’d dare to say that none have gone through the torment that Taylor Swift has. In 2009, after the VMAs, the world turned against Taylor. Publicly and through the media, people were criticizing Kanye West. But Taylor said herself that she thought people were booing her on the stage. There were think pieces about how she ‘wasn’t good actually.’ This is when the true hate train began for Taylor Swift. The: she only writes about love and boys. The: she dates too many of them. The: she doesn’t write her own songs (even though her whole brand was built on it). When Taylor Swift released Speak Now, it included the song Long Live. Based on the lyrics, Taylor thought this album could be the end of her career. “Will you take a moment? / Promise me this / That you’ll stand by me forever / But if God forbid fat should step in / And force us into a goodbye / If you have children someday / When they point to the pictures / Please tell them my name.”

I like to tell my friends that I see Taylor Swift has having three cycles in her career so far. We are living in the third. This isn’t based on music genre, completely. Because for argument sake, Taylor has touched on many subgenera. But it is based on Main Genre, and the cycle of vitriol towards Taylor Swift —i.e.l over saturation.

Cycle 1: Debut - Red; Country

Cycle 2: 1989 - Lover ; Pop

Cycle 3: Folklore - TTPD; Folk/Folk Pop

The Cycle goes as follows: Taylor Swift has massive world breaking success after catching lightning in a bottle. People get outraged. She has to respond, in order to defend herself. The world gets more angry and irritated. TS is everywhere. There are horrible things being said online, everywhere in every way. People want her to DISAPPEAR. She writes an album for herself, and the fans cherish it. Then she says, it’s time for something new. The Cycle repeats.

To most, non-fans, that I have met or seen online. They seem to agree that Taylor has only ever had three “good” albums: Fearless, 1989, Folklore. What do all three have in common? They were smash successes. Before Midnights, they were the only three that won AOTY. People around the world know their songs. She has been given critical acclaim for them by people who don’t listen to Taylor Swift. They are all sonically cohesive. They are all lyrically creative, and musically engaging. And, most importantly, they were genre defining (at least for her).

I ignore Debut here, because Debut was her setting the ground work, and while Debut and Fearless are similar and close, it was not Debut that started the cycle. Debut started her career. For this reason, Debut classifies as an Album 0. It is the album zero, ground zero by which the whole cycle was built.

In the Cycle that I’ve defined, after the smash success for Album 1, there is a string of vitriol and some sort of incident. She then writes an album response either to it, or about it, trying to prove herself as an artist and that she deserves what she has and where she is: Speak Now, Reputation, Midnights. Each one of these albums are Taylor Writing to prove herself, as being allowed to exist, and create art, her snapping back in some way. This may be the most esoteric in regards to Midnights, but the concept is the same. The big vitriol after Folklore/Evermore was that she could write deep songs, but not deep pop songs. So she made a concept album about the sleepless nights of her past and made an anthology of well crafted lyrics and considerations, thoughts and prayers, and proved she could do it. Midnights shouldn’t have gotten AOTY. It was good, a world wide smash success, but that’s because she has a bigger fan base no than she did years ago. It wasn’t lightning in a bottle. It wasn’t genre defining. It was a good pop album. But ultimately, Midnights is an Album 2, it is a continuation.

Now many people may say, but Evermore was the album after Folklore. It wasn’t. It was written at the same time as Folklore. She didn’t have time to process anything. It is, for all intents and purposes, a double drop with Folklore. The two are one, the same mindset. Midnights was different.

In the case of Album 2 it is, or was, always a failure. Before Midnights, at least, with both reputation and Speak Now, even though she poured her heart out and made excellent music, and yet for some reason it did not receive the same accolades or awards — or maybe was even ignored by the general public. She did not catch lightning in a bottle again. I would argue this is the same for Midnights, but the difference is that her fan base is so much larger than it was before.

Now, after Album 2, there is always the ramp up. The actual over saturation. It grows and grows and grows and the world begins to fully hate Taylor Swift. Yes, I know Snakegate had everyone turn against her, but look at the way people said things to her during the Lover era. Once again she thought it was the end after Reputation, that her career was over. Red, Lover, and TTPD are Album 3s, or the “this one is for the fans” album as the fans like to say. The “You don’t get it because you don’t understand Taylor like I do, album.” The Album Taylor writes for herself. Red was the only breakup album. The heart wrench album. The sing it and scream it in your car album. Lover was, at the time, unapologetically, a be you album. The be in love, be happy, it’s okay to be “me” album. TTPD is the I’m falling apart, please see me album. It is the I’m going to have to be okay on my own album. The I’ve healed and move on from this part of my life, but you don’t know me, album. And each and every time general society says it is not great, fans say that they simply don’t understand it because they’re not fans.

Rinse Repeat.

Album 1: The Critical, Genre Smash Success. Album 2: Is the Critically overlooked Concept Album. Album 3 is the: This one is for the “Fans” (herself), Album that is critically panned.

Dear Reader

Right quick, go reread the lyrics for dear reader for me. Follow that up with YOYOK and ICDIWABH. Come back to me when you’re done. Good? Let’s go.

Are you listening yet? Are you hearing her yet? Taylor Swift fans are realizing this now, but TTPD was written for Taylor and it was written for us. The fans. We don’t know her. We don’t know her life. She is begging us, on her knees. Crying to us. She is messy. She is far from perfect. She makes bad choices. She is not a good person. She is simply a person and she is asking us to stop the idol worship.

“Please. / I’ve been on my knees. / Change the prophecy. / Don’t want money. / Just someone who wants my company. / Let it once be me. / Who do I have to speak to. / About if they can redo. / The prophecy?”

And you may say, but that song is about love. It is. It’s about us. The greatest love Taylor has ever known. She said that. To us, at the Eras tour. We are the longest relationship she’s ever had. We’ve been there with her through the good and the bad. The ugly and the sad. The beautiful and the change.

“You, who saw that I reinvent myself for a million reasons. And that one of them is to try my very best to entertain you. You, who have had the grace to allow me the freedom to change.” (1989 TV)

But are we?

“This is a story about coming into your own. And as a result… coming alive. I hope you know that you’ve given me the courage to change. I hope you know that who you are is who you choose to be, and that whispers behind your back don’t define you. You are the only one who gets to decide what you will be remembered for.” (1989)

What is the legacy we are currently leaving behind for her?

“I want to be remembered for the things that I love, not the things that I hate, not the things that I’m afraid of, not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night. I just think, you are what you love.” (Daylight, Lover)

Stop and think. For a moment. Every time we bring those men up. We bring the possible relationships up. We bring the heartache up. We attack the people online. When we hold her to impossible beauty standards, and impossible moral standards. We speculate and wonder and question… yes, there is a level of media literacy that comes from asking these questions. But there is a vocal majority, a large subsection of people online who are doing it again. Who are asking when she’s going to get married and have babies. Who are trying to burn Joe or Matty or Harry or any of the other boys before to the ground. Who are taking us back to 2012, the “she only writes about hs and heartbreak.” The fans who hang on her every word, every breath, and aren’t allowing her to change.

Taylor Swift (TM) has always been about change. But how many times have you seen or heard people scream, “this isn’t like folklore?” Some are like, they’re not real Taylor Swift Fans. But they’re comparing everything to it. And they are, her fans, and they’re not allowing.

Some of you may be like, but other artists don’t change. Don’t branch out. Write the same thing over and over and over, and maybe she wants to do that. Yet, girly has shown us time and time again that she actually likes challenging herself to write other genres. She likes doing it. If she didn’t. Reputation would have been more like 1989. Lover would have been more like 1989. Folklore and Evermore wouldn’t exist. I do think there is an argument to be had that expecting her to change and forcing her to do it is wrong, but I’m saying that we aren’t even accepting the chance that she may want to change for herself. Whether that means into a stable sound that never changes from album to album or into a wildly different genre. RN the FANS are dictating what should and shouldn’t be, and that’s… messy.

How many of you breathed in relief at 17-31 because it sounded like Folklore and Evermore? How many of you liked 1-16 because it was like Midnight’s sister? How many of you were waiting to hear the heartbreak about Joe? How many of you have given the songs paternity tests? It’s only been 48 hours. You can be honest.

We are Taylor Swifts greatest love, if things are to be assumed, and the muse in TTPD is strangely many people in one — because we are a part of the problem now. She had to plead manic insanity to us, in her prologue for this album.

How many of you look at the rerecordings and have forgotten the reason for them? I mean, I know you know the reason, but it’s not supposed to be a count down, doubting everything, pushing her, pressuring her, to give us her art. She is trying to reclaim her art, for herself. It’s called Taylor’s Version. Not the audience version. Yet, you scream Reputation at her concerts. Reputation. Reputation. Give us everything you are Taylor. Give us, your love Taylor. Entertain us Taylor.

All she has left are her name and reputation. She’s already given away her reputation once. Do you think she wants to give it away again after she’s finally reclaimed it? Do you think she wants to give her name away again? When it’s finally her’s?

And don’t get me wrong I think that reputation (TV) and Taylor Swift (TV) will come, and the world will be excited for the vault tracks, and be angry that it doesn’t sound identical to the original. And feel betrayed that it’s not 100% perfect the exact way they wanted. They’re tired of her failing them. Gaslighting her into believing she’s not good enough. Threatening to quit her and leave her behind because she’s disappointing them, by doing the one thing she’s good at but it’s not good enough anymore.

Oh sorry, not the world.

Her fans. The love of her life.

Critical Critique

The thing about giving good feedback and critique is that it needs to be helpful. You can’t simply say, I hate this, and expect someone to use it.

Taylor Swift is not above critique. She is not perfect. She is a human being, it’s legitimately impossible to be perfect. Yet we ask her to be perfect. Now I’m not saying perfection with saying one thing (that she cares about social justice) and then doing the opposite. I’m not saying she’s above critique of her private jets or being a billionaire. These can all be valid critiques. I think we should be critical of her billionaire status, and white feminist tendencies, and marketing exploitation. This is looking at an idol and holding them to human standards that you may have for yourself.

I don’t think that being critical and holding someone accountable is toxicity. I do think it’s toxic tho, that we are starting to read into everything. Search for clues in everything. Showing up to weddings we were never invited to. Stalking her across venues. (And I don’t mean the plane guy, I mean you weirdos who show up at her house and her recording studio and scream at her to tell you about her latest breakup). Looking over photos, like you’re a tabloid editor from 2010, like “Where’s the ring?” “Is that a baby bump?”

And when she tells us the truth we say no, I don’t believe you. When we, her fans, hear her say with her whole chest “I’m not perfect, stop defending me.” and we turn around and say… mmmmmm I’m not going to do that. You are my perfect little baby who can do no wrong. You must be confused. You must be shocked. Let me correct you. She knows she’s making bad choices and she has a whole marketing team to fix what she does.

Taylor Swift fans have been demonized by media as ravenous brain dead worshipers, and in some ways we are. We defend her at every turn, at everything she does and justifies it, but this is more than that. And yet is also only that. I am defending her when she doesn’t need me to. But more than that, I feel like I need to call out the fandom cuz we are toxic. We have secret sessioners leaking albums. We are gate keeping. We are screaming at each other when people don’t agree with are arbitrary and subjective opinions. We say that the real critiques of her work aren’t actually listening to her— they are, you’re not listening to the critiques. Like the 1830s line. There are so many ways the same sentiment could have been written, better. No one is saying Taylor is a racist. They’re saying she needed someone to check her on the line and be like, is there a different way to say this?

To everyone we talk to, we are hated. There are think pieces about how toxic we are to others online, how we attack everyone who dares to actually be critical of her. How we attack eachother, like the snake eating its tail. We defend her like its or dying breath and then turn around to Taylor and say, look I was a good fan, give me what I want and only what I want. People hate us. Outsiders hate us. Casual fans hate us. We hate each other. Taylor swift says she sometimes hates us.

Welcome to the age of Aquarius, the downfall of celebrity. We shouldn’t worship people, like idols and gods. However, we should judge people as people and we aren’t doing that either, to the random person on the street saying “see me” to the girl with the lyrics crying “hear me.”

Social Media Literacy

Hate Taylor swift if you want to, whether that is because she’s over saturated or because you have grown disillusioned. But Taylor swift has built a brand about being relatable, and as much as people may say she’s manufacturing it now, I don’t think she is trying to. I personally think she’s trying to do it the way she always has, and it’s backfiring.

Not because she’s less relatable, but because we as a society have lost what it means to accept other people. We are holding everyone to a high near high level of perfectionist accountability, where you must be perfect and never change, and never make a mistake. There is a fact to be said that billionaire mistakes hurt millions of people, and that everything you do cosigns another terrible thing. However, we are not building a community. We are not holding people accountable and then pulling them back into the community to help them change their mindset. We are not creating a network of support, we are snipping away at the web at every single point. Saying, you’re wrong, and isolating further. And while this can be said about everything and everyone, it is more apocalyptic for Taylor Swift, because her entire brand is a microcosm of society.

This is happening to everyone, not just Taylor swift. Everyone. Nuance is gone. Grace is gone. Understanding, just like media literacy and critical thought, is disappearing. People are making value assessments of others based on the media they consume. And that alone should be a concern for all of us.

We are saying if you aren’t perfect, you are kicked to the outside. Immediately. No remorse. We are saying, if you aren’t exactly the way I think is morally right, just, or perfect, you are forbidden from anything ever again. And I’m not talking about Taylor Swift. I’m not talking about critique. I’m talking about us. The fans. Who attack each other. Who demonize each other. Who send hate threats to each other. Who call each other crazy. Who joke about other’s demise.

Oh, that’s just an issue of Taylor’s brand. No. This is a wider spread issue, it’s just magnified in the Swiftie fandom, because the swiftie fandom has always been a parasocial relationship with Taylor. From the day she began on Myspace, the Swiftie fandom has broken down clues together, kept secrets together, been a community together, in a way that most others have not been. And it’s falling apart, just as Taylor swift’s brand of relatability. Because we as a society, and we as a fandom have snipped away the entire network of support. The only way down is through, and there is no one to catch us at the end of the fall.

Parasocial Relationships, have been seen to become toxic very fast, as soon as a person thinks that they have some sort of control or are heard by the person they follow. For the longest time, Swifts staid back, followed the clues like rabbits and it was a game. She left us a puzzle, and we went to solve it. Now we are trying to solve puzzles that don’t exist. We made the game bad. We have made it awkward for everyone. The Parasocial relationship we have always had with Taylor, which was kind and filled with space and grace, has fallen apart. We are the worst parts of toxic parasocial relationships.

We are screaming for more. Ignoring what has been given. Skipping too fast and onwards to the next thing. All while saying, this thing that you’ve given me? It’s not absolutely perfect. Do more. Be better. Oh but that’s too many now. How about this one thing instead.

I know with my heart of hearts that when Reputation (TV) comes out. It’s going to be hell on fire. Because there is such a pent up image of this special album in everyone minds, that they keep saying things that are wildly untrue. That it’s going to be release randomly, because “there will be more explanation. There will just be reputation.”

Go read the prologue AGAIN. I’ll wait.

Don’t Blame Me, Love Made Me Crazy

We are not capable of listening anymore. And I know that many people of the world won’t read this, won’t understand this, won’t even know it exists.

But we, are the most toxic love affair that Taylor Swift has ever had.

It was good, when it was good. But we’ve turned on her time and time again. And there are some of us, myself included, who will say, we’ve been here the whole time! Supporting her, even during lover when her concerts were at the lowest. But.

We are tearing each other apart. We are tearing her apart. We are holding her to impossible standards we don’t even hold ourselves too. Our very real critiques of her are being ignored and some fans say it’s just hate instead. Critiques to her, become massive amounts of backlash at her, that is visceral and appalling. We say, “I love you.” She says, “It’s ruining my life.”

We say we love you, and then turn around and say but I hated that. We say we support you but we need “MORE.” We say take a break, but you had better not disappear on us. We say we want you to be in love, but on our terms. We want you to be happy, but the way we want.

And it has gotten more and more and more, as she has skyrocketed to the Eras Tour level of fame she has right now. Our reactions to her are millions of times over across multiple countries. Where people are saying, she shouldn’t have become a public figure if she couldn’t handle it. She shouldn’t have opened up her life to us and written her songs like a diary, if she couldn’t handle it. She shouldn’t be a human being if she can’t handle being hated for being human. She created this parasocial relationship, it’s her fault it’s toxic. She talks about the men and love, she should handle when we judge her for it. You wouldn’t even judge your friends. Will you say, that’s just the way they are? And ignore the ways they are hurting you and others? And if you did, will you hold grace for them to change and grow or will you cut them out immediately and leave them isolate? Will you forget community?

And it’s all divisive and anonymous online. This virtual signaling, and hate towards one person, when you can’t even hold your own families accountable. When you can’t even hold yourself accountable. When every moment that this relationship of us to Taylor continues, it proves that we are the worst parts of humanity.

I’m not immune to that. This post is antagonistic and anonymous. I see the irony. I know the hypocrisy.

And there are reasons the jokes aren’t funny about us on the internet, but that they’re true. They’re true, what outsiders and non-fans think of us. We are a rapid fan base that gets worse and worse each year. We are not only the good parts, the friendship bracelets and joy of the eras tour. We are all the terrible parts as well. We are the racist, homophobic, terrible parts. We are getting worse and worse the more and more we love her, that we are starting to scare people even more than we ever had. It’s my way, or you’re out. And if you, another fan, don’t agree with me then you’re not actually a fan at all.

Some people, fans, have said that the Eras Tour feels like the end. That she’s saying goodbye. She burned down the lover house. TTPD is alienating people. Taylor Swift is everywhere and she is so oversaturated that people are concerned.

And look. I can’t blame TS for what is happening right now. If she’s feeling alone. Afraid. Lost. Unsure what will happen if she puts one foot out of line. She’s given us this messy album that is filled with the dirty and worst parts of her thoughts and feelings. It’s not edited it’s raw. It’s angry. It’s saying “Fuck you.” Because we made her crazy. And I’m pretty sure we sure as hell aren’t letting her feel like she can change. She can’t trust us to let her change or to become something else. She can’t even trust us to be there as a support network.

Even if the Cycle dictates that she should do it.

Maybe she’s grown up. Maybe sh’s found her genre and want’s to stay here forever. Maybe Taylor is tired. Maybe she just needed to get all the emotions out and away so she can move on and be fully happy. Maybe she’s terrified of what will happen this time when she falls from grace. She saw it in 2009-2012. She saw it in 2016-2017.

I don’t know. I don’t know her. But I know this:

When you’re standing at the tallest peak, how far does the valley look? Especially when the wings you built through years of blood sweat and tears are burned by the very people who helped you make them.

There Will Be No Explanation. There Will Just Be Reputation.

We all know the iconic opening sequence from the Reputation Stadium tour. Where she took the media commentary and made it the opening. For years. Taylor has been in a war with the media and the powers at be. When the media slut shamed her. When the media made paternity tests. When the MEDIA said, look at this woman and all the stupid shit she does.

Guess what? The media loves her.

Taylor Swift reclaimed her reputation from the media in 2017.

But now who does she have to take it back from?

For as much as Taylor has made a commentary about how women are constantly told to reinvent themselves, to become something new and shiny, in this way and that way for “me.” The greatest changes Taylor has ever made in her music career have been for herself. 1989, was because she wanted to go Pop. Folklore was because she needed to process and try a new type of songwriting style.

And yet, now Taylor’s fans look at all her clothes and choices and say “ah this is a new era.” This is “reputation era coded.” The fans are now adding paternity tests to every single song. We are going after the exes online and in person. We are asking Taylor to reinvent herself constantly over and over and over to entertain us. We shout “MORE!” over and over again. The fans are feral for reputation. Ignore everything else.

And with TTPD she said, we need to chill that we don’t know her. That she’s going to make up her own choices and fuck up. And the line about “you should see your faces?” that is about US.

We, the fans, are now in the place of the media. We are the ones that are dictating her reputation in a way that she does not agree with. When Taylor Swift reclaims her reputation again, it will not be from the media, it will be from the fans itself.

We are now giving paternity tests. We are now the ones asking if she’s going to get married and when. We are the ones constantly wondering if she’s pregnant. WE are saying and doing and acting the same way that the media did for YEARS. When before we used to tell the media to back off and ignored it all. We have become the very thing we used to hate.

And now we, as fans are saying to Taylor Swift that she MUST “Be new to us, be young to us, but only in a a new way and only in the way we want. And reinvent yourself, but only in a way that we find to be equally comforting, but also a challenge for you. Live out a narrative that we find to be interesting, to entertain us, but not so crazy that it makes us uncomfortable.”

This time when Taylor Swift reclaims her reputation, she’s going to be reclaiming it for herself, from the men who stole it from her. From the media who dictated it. From the world. From her fans. For herself. (Taylor’s Version)

Lightning in a Bottle

I was always of the opinion that she’d continue making albums after 13. Now I am not sure. I think she’ll write music, but I think 13 might be it. There is a chance, she is preparing to keep coasting. Get 12 out while she’s still at the high. Ride out this Cycle longer than it should. Get 12 out to critical acclaim, face the fall and release 13, her Magnum Opus. Say goodbye for good. People will look at it and wonder what happened, who she is, but she’s been warning us since Long Live that this could happen.

However.

Taylor Swift is capable of bending lightning.

To many fans, each Taylor Swift Album is perfect. To some each album is something new that she hasn’t tried before. To me, Taylor’s albums come in the form of a cycle. Where, when she changes for herself and is embraced for that change, she is able to create something no one has ever done before. She defines a generation in a healthy and productive way.

She’s done it once with Country. She’s done it twice, with Pop. She’s done it thrice with Folk. In each instance she was raw, she was curated. She was honed in on the concept, on the lyrics, on the vulnerability, on the genre itself. Taylor Swift can capture lightning in a bottle when she’s trying an entirely new genre. When she goes all in on everything for the genre, in a new form, and learns and masters that form well. And most importantly, when she decides to make this leap of faith not because she’s reinventing herself to make the world entertained, but because she wants to make the change- the choice- for herself.

I’ve always hoped and prayed for that Rock album. I thought it would be 12 (or 11, in a world where Evermore was not Folklore’s sister/twin). I’ve always thought that if Taylor was going to catch Lightning in a bottle again it would be in rock. I don’t think we’ll ever get it. And that’s okay.

I always hoped that album 13 would be about us, the fans. The coming of age story of Taylor Swift. Her relationship with us and the music industry. The album that has pop and rock and country and folk. Songs that remind me of Girls Just Want to Have Fun, I Want to Dance With Somebody, and This Ones For the Girls. I hoped it would be for us. For her. For the love of it all. And album that said Long Live, with a capital TS, that touched on every era she ever did, recreating the sound perfectly. Into 13 perfect songs and not a song more. I doubt it’s going to happen. And that’s okay.

I won’t be disappointed. I’ll be here for the ride. I’ll critique her as much as I always have, and hold grace for her to change as a person. I’m going to build my community with the paradox of Tolerance in mind. And if I’m wrong and she continues after 13, I’ll be there too. But I think that right now, The Taylor Swift fandom is not in the place to be able to catch Taylor if she makes a jump, a change, a decision that is not tailored for them or considers them. We can't even talk with each other without getting into fights.

Ask yourself how much of our community is left:

When the parasocial relationships Taylor built, is weaponized against her and ourselves. Like some sort of awardshow, where you get a gold star for being the best.

When we are giving her a paternity test at every lyric.

When we see our faces at every new lyric.

When the games aren’t fun anymore.

When we scream more. More. More. More. But only the way I want and in the way I deem appropriate.

When her reputation has been stolen from her again. AGAIN by the people she trusted most.

When we only book mark her life by failures and endings. Gossiping like old women asking how did it happen this time?

When we won’t even remember ALL the things that she loves.

When that’s all she’s ever asked for us to remember her by.

When she says we, her fans, "are the love of my life."

But “The Story of Us, sounds a lot like a tragedy now.”

Because "the story isn't [hers] anymore."

Yet, we're all she’s ever wanted.

I think that with TTPD, she is processing but she's telling us, that this is it. She's going to make the first change of her life not knowing if we're going to support it.

Cycle 4 is coming. Whether that is with 12. 13. With the end of the Eras Tour. With the burning of the lover house on the first night of the Eras Tour. Cycle 4 will end the Cycles. Will end the Eras.

One more fall from from the precipice. But this time not from the public. Not from the media. From her fans. I think Taylor Swift is ready to take that leap with or without her fans. With or without the safety net. With or without the wings we built her that got her this far. One more fall from the pedestal. One more descent into the horrors that Taylor Swift has ever known. This time into uncharted waters, facing the one true love of her life. The change that is going to shatter the fandom.

What happens then?

Change

So how do we fix it? How do we, as a community, come together and fix this toxicity? Because we have to be the ones to do it. If we don’t do it now, then there is a chance we’ll never do it in the future. We have to change, and reclaim our own reputation as Swifties.

How? I wish I had all the answers, but I do have a place to start.

Stop sending death threats and hate and KYS to people you don’t agree with.

Stop arguing like you’re so smart because you understand her lyrics. If someone says they don’t interpret something the same way as you, maybe listen. There is no One Way to read a Taylor Swift song. There just isn’t.

Tolerance Paradox: Support differing opinions of your own. However, we can not accept intolerance. Those who wish to spread hate, those who wish to spread anger, we can’t support them. We have to call them out. We must call out the racists and the homophobes and the literal nazis and white supremacists who find our fandom home.

We must be critical of her AND our community. Whose voices are we not listening to? Take a self inventory on why the critique of her bothers you so much. Legitimately.

We must take inventory of what we have done in the past and take accountability for the ways we’ve hurt others.

We must stop asking for more, legitimately. Stop asking for more Folklore like albums. Stop asking for more 1989 like albums. Stop begging for reputation.

We must be kind to those who are new. Gatekeeping can only be so far as to keep the space a place of tolerance.

We must support each other in hard times, in times of need. Be the community that comes together to say, I have your back. We must start helping each other, legitimately.

We must hold our ground, and stop the leaks IMMEDIATELY.

Stop speculating, and I don’t mean analyzing of reviewing easter eggs. I mean speculating. We aren’t with her 24/hrs a day so stop acting like we should be.

Easter Eggs are only fun, when people aren’t having full break downs about being wrong. Maybe we should chill.

Hold space for your opinions to change and for others to change. Validate those changes, and the processing.

Remember our roots. We are the fandom who has stuck together through everything, who believes in the magic of connection. Draw those 13s on the back of your hands and make a wish. Long Live.

Ending

In the end, there is nothing great about this essay. I’m really not saying much to anyone. I'm saying this for myself because I'm changing the way I engage with Taylor Swift and other Swifties. I’m tired of creating a network of hate. I’m tired of feeling like I don’t belong in this community, because I am not perfect. Or because I don’t agree.

We, as fans, are the new enemy that we have always fought against.

I might not be able to fix everything, but I'm going to do my part to change the prophecy.

#taylor swift #the tortured poets department #ttpd #ts ttpd

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dire-vulture · 2 months

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for the FR ask game - 🍈, 🍊, 🥑!

🍈Share your favorite duo of dragons! They must be platonic or familial, no romantic couples!

the first two that came to mind are Thurburn and Elroy..two local 13-year-old punks who like starting trouble and will vandalize things for fun fdgsfd tbh they're just harmless pranks for the most part, but they can definitely be destructive.

🍊Do you have a specific artist, band, etc, that you listen to when you’re working on lore? Share one of their songs!

not really haha. honestly i don't usually put on music when i'm writing, since i get distracting wanting to sing along fdgsfdgsfd but i do have some lore inspired by The Human League so I guess i'll share one of their songs haha. Get Together C: from the album Credo which i have a dragon named after haha (i don't know why it's on youtube music? the only two videos of it on normal youtube had weird quality dfgsdf)

🥑Show off your most underrated lore dragon, and talk about them!

omg this one keeps happening

i think i'll go with Marglobe! I feel like i neglect him a little but i love him a lot haha. he's a frail and ornery mirror whose lived in Florabrisa for much of his life, and since even before coming to Florabrisa as a runaway teenager he's believed tomatoes are a superfood and they're the only thing he will eat. (please pretend that basket he's holding is filled with tomatoes)

He's dedicated himself to growing the biggest and highest quality tomatoes possible, and his efforts have definitely paid off well for Florabrisa, but he's still not convinced he's achieved the truly perfect tomato yet..but he might be close!

His husband is Florabrisa's news reporting ridgeback Cinnyris. What exactly the two see in each other is a bit of a mystery, but I think they both admire each other's dedication to their jobs and they're both secretly history nerds too. I think they hope to have kids soon, though Marglobe's perpetual malnourishment and refusal to do anything about it is kind of an issue dfgsdf Many dragons in the clan try coming up with creative ways to get Marglobe to vary his diet better, but Marglobe is just so stubborn dfsgsfd not even Ricotta's been able to make much progress on that front. Cinnyris seems to be the only dragon that can get Marglobe to semi-consistently eat something more substantial (I like to think he has a very good pleading face), but even that isn't really much.

Marglobe's easily the most concerning dragon in my clan dfgsfd

#thank you!!#asks #supercritter64 #thurburn #elroy #marglobe #florabrisa #loreabrisa

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nerdynanny · 2 months

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GET TO KNOW THE MUN [2.0!]

I did this previously on one of my old blogs, but that was four years ago and we need an update.

TAGGED BY: myself from four years ago @journalsauthored TAGGING:THE DASH

1. FIRST NAME: Max

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I was born with one functioning eye. [same] I also share a birthday with the late great Robin Williams.

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: Still hella ace, so physical attraction ain't it. I'm drawn to kindness, compassion, and just a bit of pettiness. So basically my partner.

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: PASTA.

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: Peas are a crime against humanity. So is cilantro.

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: Japanese, Korean, and Thai Dramas.

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: Depends on the weather. Boxers, usually. [same]

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: Happily in a relationship. When I last answered this I had just gotten out of one with a TERF. I'm in a way better place now.

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: I would absolutely go back in time to prevent myself from working with a narcissist who has recently accused me of stalking him??? When he traumatized me?? Gaslighting fr fr.

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: So like-- to a handful of people. This answer is still the same, I'm energetic and entertaining but if someone touches me I will shriek.

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: Back to the Future Part III. It’s my favorite [SAME STILL].

12. FAVORITE BOOK: Artemis Fowl. Not sure which in the series I love most but the original is dear to my heart. [addition] Cirque du Freak. The Darren Shan saga TIES.

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: DOG ARMY. [same]

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]:Oh shit. JackFord [feat @sonxflight, same], Hilson [with @downs1de, ConYuu [otp 5 ever], SakuSayo [solid ship], and DocClara [with @doctorbrown]

15. PIE OR CAKE: Pie. [same]

16. FAVORITE SCENT: Sandalwood and the Ocean. [same]

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: Manny Jacinto. He’s all that and a bag of chips. [same, forever jason mendoza fanboy]

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: The UK. Anywhere but the US. The Netherlands maybe?

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: Ambivert. I tend to respond to the types of folk around me. [same]

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: HAHAHAHA. No. But I DO have an intense response to jump scares. I’ve been banned from a few haunted houses because of it. [same, panic disorders go brr]

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: iPhone. [same]

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: Yes. OBSESSED with Palworld and Minecraft. I just love games where I can play with my frens and build cute shit. I once started a cult in a Minecraft RP server.

23. DREAM JOB: Stand Up Comedian [or just being recognized for my MAD improv skills]

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: Give everyone I know ten thousand bucks and use the rest on myself. [same]

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: Delores Umbridge. But you’re supposed to hate her. [same, also jkr coded]

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: Undertale. I kinda moved away from it and it's populated by kids lately. I still chat about it with my friends, but I doubt I'll ever RP it again.

#;;ooc #tee hee #some of these answers are totally the same #others completely different #also a year and a half ago i met my partner and wow they've just been-- the best thing ever

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whimsicallyenchantedrose · 10 months

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Christmas Reruns 2023 Day 8: Have Yourself a merry Little Christmas (1/3)

Merry Christmas if you celebrate it and happy holidays if you don’t! One of the things I love about Christmas is watching reruns of all the old classic Christmas movies–Christmas is a big time for nostalgia. A few years ago, I decided to incorporate that tradition into my fandom life and post my CS holiday reruns. So here you go! Enough holiday (mostly) fluff to get you to New Year’s Day. (With a new story posting on Christmas Day.)

Word Count: 2166

Other chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32

Note: This story was first posted in 2014

Chapter 1: It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

Notes: This story was originally written in 2014. Killian is perplexed by all the lights and music and hustle and bustle that starts to appear around Storybrooke just after Thanksgiving, but luckily Henry helps him figure out what this “Christmas” is all about. He makes it his mission to help Emma overcome the pain of her past so she can truly get into the spirit of the season.

It all began to appear at the end of November, as far as Killian could tell. Last Thursday, Swan had invited him to join her and her family for the celebration of something called “Thanksgiving,” a holiday, as best he could tell, which consisted of gorging oneself on exorbitant amounts of food and then watching a sporting event called “football.”

The next day, the entire feel and tenor of Storybrooke changed in an instant—brightly colored lights adorning every conceivable surface, evergreen wreaths twined with ribbons, gracing doors and walls, portraits and figurines of a rather portly man with a long white beard and a red coat wherever one looked. Most mystifying of all, the fairies, who Regina had managed to free from the sorcerer’s hat, had erected a replica of a stable in which a woman, several men, cows, horses and a donkey knelt before a tiny baby lying in what looked like a manger.

Even the music that blared from every shop and eating establishment had changed. It appeared a holiday entitled “Christmas” was fast approaching. Judging by the songs of the season, Christmas involved a jolly man who drove a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer (one of which had a red, glowing nose), a deity who came to earth as an infant born of a virgin, families and loved ones spending time together, peace and goodwill among all, and gift giving.

It was utterly bewildering.

Killian sat in his booth in the diner, sipping his coffee and waiting for Swan’s lad to join him for breakfast when the most perplexing sight of all met his eyes.

The bell above the door chimed, and Killian’s eyes widened as he watched a very bad-tempered Leroy step inside dragging a gigantic fir tree behind him. A generous coat of snow covered the dwarf from head to foot and fell from the tree in clumps.

“Leroy!” Granny bellowed. “You’re tracking snow all over my diner. What do you think you’re doing?”

“Sorry, sister,” Leroy muttered in a voice which proved he was anything but. “You asked me to bring you a Christmas tree, and a Christmas tree I brought. Ain’t my fault Mother Nature chose today to dump on us.”

“You couldn’t have shaken the damn thing off before you came in?” Granny continued, her hands planted on her generous hips.

Leroy glared. “Look, you don’t like the way I do the job you gave me? Do it yourself.”

Granny rolled her eyes, and then threw up her hands. “Fine, just put it in the corner, get it decorated and stop blocking my doorway.”

Christmas involved bringing trees indoors and decorating them? What an odd custom.

Leroy grumbled under his breath as he hoisted the massive fir onto his shoulder and crept laboriously toward the corner Granny indicated. He fought with the tree for some time, cursing under his breath as he tried…and failed…to hold it steady while simultaneously securing it in the stand Granny had placed in the far corner.

“Hey pirate!” Leroy called from beneath the tree’s boughs. “I could use a hand or two.”

Killian grinned, set his coffee back upon the table and got to his feet. “Alas, dwarf, I have but one to lend.”

Leroy emerged from the tree and fixed a surly scowl on Killian. “Not in the mood for jokes. Just get your leather clad ass over here!”

Killian sketched a mocking bow and ambled in the dwarf’s direction. “As you’ve deigned to ask so politely, I’m at your service. What precisely do you need of me?”

“Just hold the damn thing steady while I get it screwed in.”

Killian complied, holding the tree still, while Leroy tightened screws fastening the trunk into a stand of sorts.

“Now, next job: untangle the lights and string them on the tree,” Leroy commanded.

“Er…” Killian said, scratching behind his ear, “what the bloody hell does that mean?”

Leroy glared for a moment before rolling his eyes. “Don’t you know anything about Christmas? Grab that string of lights over there, untangle it, and wrap it around the tree.”

The bell over the door chimed once more, and Killian looked up to see Henry, rosy cheeked from the cold and bundled within an inch of his life, walk in. Mentally heaving a sigh of relief, he turned to Leroy. “Sorry, mate,” he said, “I’ve plans to dine with Swan’s lad. I’m afraid you’ll have to find someone else to assist you.”

Leroy continued to mutter as Killian made his way back to his booth, but otherwise, mercifully, kept his opinions to himself.

“Hey Killian!” Henry called as he peeled off his hat, scarf, gloves and coat and plopped down in the booth.

“Good morning lad,” Killian greeted with an affectionate ruffle of the boy’s hair, “how are you this frigid morning?”

“Starving,” Henry said, grabbing a menu. “I could eat an elephant.”

Killian laughed. Such was the lot of a pre-teen boy. Swan had complained just last night that her lad was eating her out of house and home. “I’ve yet to see elephant on Granny’s menu. Suppose we settle for pancakes and bacon?”

“Sounds good to me.”

Killian flagged down Ruby, who appeared with the lad’s usual hot cocoa with cinnamon. He placed their orders, and then sat back in his seat, watching with amusement as Henry swiped a generous dollop of cream from the top of his beverage with one finger and then happily licked it clean.

“So why’d you ask me to have breakfast with you?” Henry asked after taking his first sip and sighing with contentment.

Killian grinned. “Does a man need a reason to ask his mate to dine with him?”

“Well, no,” Henry said, “but when you called last night, you said you had things you wanted to discuss.”

“True enough,” Killian remarked after taking another swig of his coffee. “As the days pass, it becomes increasingly evident to me that I need to ascertain just what this ‘Christmas’ holiday entails. I asked you mum about it, but she seemed unwilling to discuss the matter.”

A shadow passed across the lads face. Killian watched him closely.

“Yeah,” Henry said, uncomfortably, “she doesn’t seem to want to have anything to do with Christmas. I was hoping now that she’s gotten settled in her new apartment, she’d let me help her decorate, but she doesn’t want to put up a tree or stockings or make cookies or anything.”

“These are traditions of the holiday?”

“Yeah, and Mom wouldn’t even discuss any of it,” Henry took another sip and frowned. “It was kind of like that last year too. She finally put up a tree for me, but she really didn’t want to.”

“And it’s important to you to observe these traditions?” Killian asked carefully, trying to assess the root of the lad’s obvious unhappiness.

Henry shrugged. “Yeah, but, I mean, it’s not that. My other mom is doing all the Christmas stuff and so are Grandma and Grandpa. It’s just that I’m worried about Mom. It doesn’t seem like she’s just being a Grinch or something; Christmas seems to really upset her.”

What precisely was a “Grinch?” No matter. The import of the lad’s words was clear enough. “Would you like me to talk to your mum?”

“I was hoping you would,” Henry admitted. “If anyone can make her feel better it’s you.”

Killian grinned. “It would be my pleasure, Henry. I’ve plans to meet your mother for lunch. I’ll broach the subject then.”

“Thanks, I’m really glad she has you.” Henry looked away uncomfortably. “Look, Killian, about what I said back when the Shattered Sight spell hit…”

Killian waved the lad’s words away with a negligent move of his hook. “Don’t concern yourself mate. You were cursed; I’d hardly take your words to heart.”

“Still,” Henry said, “I just, you know, wanted you to know that I didn’t mean it. I do like you, and, well, I like how happy you make my mom. I never saw her this happy, even when she was just about engaged to Walsh.”

Killian clapped Henry on the shoulder. “It’s mutual lad. I enjoy the time we spend together, and I love your mother more than life itself. I must say it’s heartening to hear that I make her happier than a charlatan in simian form.”

The wolf girl returned with two steaming plates of pancakes. Killian grinned in amusement as he watched Henry tuck into his breakfast with the gusto of one who hadn’t eaten in a week. When the lad’s worst pangs of hunger were apparently sated, Killian returned to the subject at hand.

“Now, to return to the original topic of this discussion. I was content to merely watch the town’s dealings with regard to Christmas until I received your grandmother’s invitation to the town Christmas party. Now I find it incumbent upon myself to learn what is expected of me with regard to this holiday. For example, what precisely does a ‘dirty Santa gift exchange’ entail?”

Mary Margaret, as the current mayor of Storybrooke, had evidently decided that the best way to foster town unity and holiday spirit was to throw a party upon the occasion of Christmas. It was to be held on the eve of Christmas itself, and Swan’s mum had assured him that it would be an evening filled with joy and laughter. She’d further assured him that he was free to spike his cup of eggnog with as much rum as he pleased.

“It’s awesome,” Henry said around a mouthful of bacon. “It’s kind of like a gift exchange and a game all wrapped up together. Everybody brings a wrapped present, and then…”

The lad went on to describe a game worthy of a pirate—full of theft, strategy and the winning of loot.

“So, it would seem gift giving is an important part of this holiday?” Killian asked.

“Yeah,” Henry said, drawing out the syllable. “It’s not, like, the most important part of Christmas, but people like to give each other gifts at this time of year. It’s a way to show people that you care about them.”

“Aye,” Killian said, nodding his head, “but that leads me to my next question. What precisely is a man expected to give to the woman he loves? I’ve heard multiple renditions of a song which seems to provide a roadmap, but I find it difficult to believe that Swan would wish me to gift her with drummers and pipers and lords and dancers and multiple aviary creatures. And what use could she possibly have for eight maids a-milking?”

Henry chuckled. “That’s just a song; no one actually gives their true love that kind of stuff! But can I be there if you decide to give my mom eleven pipers piping? Please?”

Killian took a bite of his breakfast and grinned. “I think I’ll avoid that particular spectacle. I must say, I’m much relieved. I hadn’t a clue where I was to find ten lords a-leaping. If that quite motley list is not an example of the proper Christmas gifts for a man to give his true love, what is?”

Henry shrugged. “Nothing in particular, I don’t think. Just give her something heartfelt—something that shows her how you feel about her.”

“That, I believe I can manage.”

Henry shook his head in evident disgust. “I’m sure you can. You and mom are so sappy together it’s kind of sickening.”

Killian ruffled the lad’s hair again. “Just wait, Henry. Your day will come. One day you’ll find true love, and then you’ll be as ‘sappy’ as anyone.”

“Maybe,” Henry said skeptically. “So is that all you wanted to know?”

“I have but one more question to ask,” Killian said, dragging his last bite of pancake through his remaining syrup. He took his bite, chewed thoughtfully, and then looked at the lad. “It seems mistletoe is quite important given its prominence in the music I’ve heard during the past week. To my knowledge, it’s nothing but a weed, something of a nuisance. Might I inquire what its purpose is during Christmastime?”

Henry groaned, and then buried his face within his hands. “I’ll tell you, but you have to promise you’ll never use it with mom when I’m around.”

–Up next, Killian takes Emma to lunch (and for a walk in the snowy woods), and gets to the bottom of just why she’s so resistant to anything related to Christmas. In true Killian fashion, he helps lift her spirits and get over some wounds from her past.

NEXT CHAPTER->

#christmas reruns 2023 #cs fanfiction #captain swan christmas ff #my fanfiction #have yourself a merry little christmas

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dairy-farmer · 2 years

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bruce strongly believes that the easiest way to get tim's attention is to confide his suicidal thoughts. 'Sweetheart, daddy's about to kill himself' and boom tim is tugging down his pants and goes 'no!! You need my kitty right now!! 🥺🥺 it will help you get over bad feelings! 🥰🥰'

no because i keep saying that if bruce and tim had met online then bruce would be the adult who holds himself hostage and threatens to kill himself while 13 year old tim is trying to talk him out of it at the breakfast table before school starts!!!!!!😩😩😩😩

i feel like tim would've been very 🥺🥺🥺 in the beginning but then he just starts rolling his eyes and peeling down his underwear, spreading the lips to reveal his cunt (waxed bare just how bruce likes it) and asking "is this what you want? will this make you feel better?"

like bruce is the level of toxic that will threaten suicide to get tim's attention because he knows that tim will absolutely drop everything to go to his side.

tim's on a date?

bruce will send him a text of the view from a roof with a message of 'thinking of ending it fr 😕'.

because he really was when he heard tim was on a date.

bruce almost couldn't stop himself from drinking bleach when he heard that he'd spent the night at jason's apartment (and he made sure to to text tim that).

and tim???

well tim has learned through trial and error that there's really only one way to get bruce out of that mental rut when he's like that.

tim has tried talking with bruce, reasoning with him, hugging him, holding him, feeding him, cuddling, and kissing him-

but the only thing that is guaranteed to work and get bruce off that metaphorical (and sometimes literal) ledge is pussy.

bare. raw pussy.

tim tried condoms in the beginning because he'd just started the sex-ed module of his health class but bruce had huffed the entire time. been disgruntles at hacing to wear and just overall been in a pretty foul mood about having to fucking tim with a barrier between them.

so tim bit the bullet and put himself on birth control.

it was worth it because bruce instantly livened up. and so long as tim made him cum and fucked him for hours he'd calm down. so long as tim rode him long enough that the 'bubbling thoughts' in his head faded away and all bruce wanted to do was to recline on a soft bed and drift to sleep- he'd be okay.

sometimes tim isn't lucky enough that bruce calls tim from his room and tells him about his 'dark feelings'. so tim is left with a pussy full of cum and a half asleep batman on some random roof in the middle of gotham.

maybe tim should be more 'sensitive' about bruce threatening to off himself but he can't help but have grown a little desensitized to it. and how couldn't he?

when tim was thirteen he'd get a call or text from bruce like that at least twice a week.

so tim had more or less developed a sort of 'c'mon bruce eat a snickers bar, you're not you when you're hungry' attitude.

bruce being able to touch tim's body calms him down. like how a pacifier calms down a screaming baby.

bruce had once been angry after a rogue got away and been lashing out at anyone who came near so tim had no choice but to climb into his lap and unzip his pants, shoving his cup out of the way. bruce had been gritting out a demand for tim to get off, that he wasn't in the mood.

but tim ignored that because bruce didn't throw him off and because bruce was never NOT in the mood.

tim got about halfway down his cock before bruce launched up, pinned tim to the console, and fucked him hard hard, fast, and mercilessly. beating up tim's pussy like he'd wanted to do to that rogue.

when bruce picked tim up from school he'd sometimes have his brows furrowed in stress and he'd finger tim at every stop light, curling his fingers in deep as tim clenched around them.

bruce is the most mentally and emotional unstable person tim has ever known.

but he's also tim (and his pussy's) responsability.

and tim would sooner die before he'd fail the self appointed responsibility of being bruce wayne's mood stabilizer.

#anonymous #asks #answered asks

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ame-sea · 1 year

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blorbo bingo! sweden and finland!

SWEDEN

let me tell u for a very long time i was like "yeah he's okay i like him" but this year i have been especially in love with him. thinking about him makes me feel so comfortable about my own socially awkward behaviors and also helps process masculinity as something more soft and gentle than most men in media. super awesome guy to look to as i grow up and get older and need to conceptualize what i want to be as an adult.

i appreciate more recent fanon iterations of him so much. i think now that we're all growing out of our 13 year old twink yaoi fujoshi phases, we're all exploring what it really means to look and act like a grown ass man LOL. i think he really truly fell victim to the "here's our gaybies" back in the day and, also because the nordics are so minor, he's been so void of personality in fanon works. like he's always just kinda There. always around do be The Guy Seen With Finland.

but he's got so much personality behind that stern-seeming face. like, man, he's just got autism guys he cant mask to save his life. im excited to share the version of him in my head with everyone because he's so interesting, and has so much going on in that little head of his, so much in that lil heart too. im so glad everyone else is coming around to it as well. i hope those of us around continue to do him justice and rectify the sins of our past.

FINLAND

it is not that i dont give a shit abt aph finland but i think nobody does him right, not now and not ever before, and ive not done much thinking about who i wish he was. i think he is Fine in canon, but just a little bit boring. i wish he was a bit more standoffish, had a bit more of an edge to him. he's been so yaoified so feminized and while neither being gay or feminine are bad, i think it has really come at the expense of who he Is as a character and as a Person, and also as a representative of a culture!

he also tends to be relegated to housewife and it drives me crazy genuinely. stay at home dads are awesome but not when it's bc kids feel the desperate need to make a gay relationship look like traditional straight relationships in media.

for both of these guys, i just wish they were more complex on their own, and not viewed solely as extensions of each other.

their relationship is super awesome though they are endgame fr. their banter, the quiet domestic love, soft glances and knowing so well how each other communicates.

i think i also hate the sufin + sealand household dynamic everyone has created. and i have to preface this by saying the basis of every fic i have ever built or planned or written or fantasized about has been about them. like okay. i just think. they would not be traditional parents. they are so uncle core. casual friendly hands off uncles. sea is like the neighbor's kid that comes over every night for dinner bc his parents work graveyard shifts and he always forgets his front door key at home, and while you're not ready to be a parent, you help him with his homework and make sure he eats his dinner and teach him how to swear in languages his parents dont understand. (also sufin + sealand has a chronic lack of ladonia which is so very upsetting! they would be so funny forced to be in the same house so often.) sufin (and the nordics as a whole) is so build a relationship from the ground up vibes, and their sense of family is absolutely about building a space with those around them. found families not by chance but by forging deep relationships and care for each other over time.

i think the need for sufin to be so 'traditional white cishet american parents' core stems a lot from general ignorance and homophobia that stained fandom culture for so very long (and honestly still does) and it pisses me off to no end. i demand so much justice for them.

#blorbo bingo #aph sweden #aph finland #sufin #i love them so dearly but the portrayals of them piss me off to no end

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readingthroughtheapocalypse · 1 year

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Read 13/08/23 - 18/08/23.

I want to preface by saying holy shit I honestly thought I would ‘t have a heap to say about this book when I started, but then I started working on this review as I was reading it and at about a quarter through the book I found I couldn’t fucking shut up and it turned into a genuine fucking essay lol. This honestly could’ve been so much longer bc so many chapters as I got further and further in just totally wowed me. Clearly I’m missing being at uni. Ten million points to anyone who reads it all the way through.

5 stars. ‘Eating to Extinction’ is an ambitious and incredibly interesting piece of work, that explores the very timely issue of critically endangered, rare, and vanishing foods, frm certain grains to meats and fish, to vegetables and fruits, etc etc. Saladino’s exploration of the dwindling variety of foods that were once vital to human diets and health and biodiversity more generally is both enlightening and thought-provoking, and he makes a powerful case fr the urgency of preserving these foods in our modern world.

The book is a stark demonstration of how only a handful of the hugely numerous of foods once consumed by humans have survived today. Saladino’s argument fr the significance of preserving these foods in the face of extinction is compelling, and his passion fr the subject shines through. As he explains, one significant argument fr preserving rare and vanishing foods is their potential contribution to biodiversity and ecological balance, as, fr instance, many of these foods possess unique genetic traits that could be crucial fr adapting to changing environmental conditions as a result of climate change and global warming, or even on a slightly smaller scale fr developing disease-resistant crops. By safeguarding these foods, we can maintain a valuable resource fr future agricultural innovation and environmental sustainability.

One thing Saladino kept turning to that I hadn’t really heard about before was the “Green Revolution,” a period of significant advancements in agricultural technology and practices that took place in the mid-20th century. It involved the development and introduction of high-yielding crop varieties, along w improved irrigation and farming techniques. These changes aimed to increase agricultural productivity and help address food shortages, particularly in developing countries. However, the Green Revolution had a major impact on global food production, and while it supposedly played a crucial role in reducing hunger and improving food security, it also had a number of incredibly negative impacts on biodiversity. As Saladino explains, the focus on a few high-yielding crop varieties led to the widespread adoption of monocultures, where large swathes of land (such as in the Amazon) were planted w the same type of crop, fr example a single variety of corn or wheat. This shift away frm diverse local crops reduced the genetic diversity of plants in those regions, and similarly, the use of chemical fertilisers, pesticides, and irrigation practices had unintended consequences on the environment, as excessive use of these inputs often led to soil degradation, water pollution, and harm to non-target organisms, including beneficial insects and soil microorganisms. Traditional crop varieties and farming practices also were often abandoned in favour of the new high-yielding varieties, leading to the loss of unique local plant varieties and the age-old knowledge associated w them, and this further contributed to a decrease in biodiversity. As Saladino says in his chapter on the tuber oca, “Across the Andes, Emshwiller has seen other farmers abandon rotation systems for monocultures in which they attempt to grow the same crop on the same land year after year. This usually results in them using more pesticides and, as the soil becomes exhausted, they have to bring in fertilisers. In this way, they had lost not only ancient varieties of oca, but also the complex system that had given them self-sufficiency.”

Another engaging aspect was on the overall importance of knowing the origins of the food we eat. Fr one, it helps us understand the quality, safety, and sustainability of the food, as by knowing where it comes frm, we can make informed choices about its production methods and environmental impact. Likewise, it also allows us to trace the cultural, historical, and evolutionary aspects of our diets. It provides insights into the ways early societies cultivated, prepared, and consumed food, influencing our present-day food practices.

Take the origins of the chicken, frm its ancestor believed to be the red jungle fowl to the monstrosity that is the modern-day factory farmed chicken. This evolution of the chicken is a significant and complex shift. As Saladino explores, understanding this transformation is crucial bc it allows us to comprehend the factors that led to the development of factory farming practices and their subsequent impact on animal welfare and the environment. By knowing the historical context, we can better assess the ethical and sustainability issues associated w modern poultry production, leading to informed discourse and potential changes in farming practices and consumer behaviour. The accelerated pace of the poultry industry’s development has not only impacted the lifespan of birds but also various aspects of its operations, as the intensification of operations within large poultry systems comes w potential pitfalls.

Consider facilities housing thousands of genetically similar birds, where any mishap can have dire consequences. Despite the supposed introduction of advanced biosecurity measures and close veterinary oversight in many factory farms in developed economies, done to alleviate problems that crop up in these very large and intensive systems, certain industrial approaches to poultry production (like running at speeds of 175 birds slaughtered per minute) is spreading to regions w fewer resources and expertise, raising concerns among animal disease experts who suggest that such expansion could facilitate the emergence of zoonotic diseases, among other harms. The juxtaposition of efficiency-driven production and the vulnerability of such systems highlights the complex trade-offs within the poultry industry’s evolution. As the industry extends its reach to areas w limited safeguards, it underscores the need fr a balanced approach that considers not just economic benefits at the cost of everything, but also potential public health risks and issues of excessive animal cruelty.

In a similar vein, the current landscape we are in of an ever-changing climate requires us to be forward-thinking, and not driven by pure greed. We must not overlook the wisdom of safeguarding the biological tapestry that nature has woven over millions of years, and the homogenisation of the chicken may offer short-term benefits, but it’s far more imperative to consider the long-term implications. Striking a balance between innovation and preservation is a challenge that demands our immediate attention, and as stewards of this planet, we should be prudent enough to recognise that in the complexity of life, diversity holds one of the keys to our own survival.

But moving on, another food that Saladino discussed that I was particularly interested in was on the murnong, a yellow flower w a radish-like root frm southern Australia (I’m frm eastern Australia), and a staple food fr some Aboriginal peoples fr generations upon generations. However, as he explains, the knowledge of this plant’s cultivation and use, as well as the plant itself, was nearly lost due to the impacts of colonisation. Reviving this knowledge, he says, can effectively reconnect Indigenous communities w their cultural heritage and traditions. Likewise, through the Indigenous stewardship of their ancestral lands, it enables the application of traditional ecological knowledge, refined over generations, encouraging sustainable land management practices such as controlled burns and rotational farming, that benefit both the environment and the communities inhabiting them. So, by respecting Indigenous rights and practices, we can acknowledge their deep-rooted connections to the land and contribute to the restoration of balance disrupted by colonial history. As he briefly touches on, preserving Indigenous foods and traditional knowledge and practices is a crucial step towards reconciliation, and one that we all must advocate and fight fr.

However, one of the book’s minor drawbacks lies in its occasional repetitiveness. Saladino often links the various foods he’s exploring in ways that felt at times unnecessary, occasionally veering into monotony. This repetitiveness slightly diminished the otherwise interesting narrative and made certain parts of the book less engaging.

But regardless, the overall impact of Saladino’s research and passionate argument is undeniable. As Saladino says in the epilogue, we must work on reestablishing our deep connection w nature and our commitment to preserving the vanishing wild and diverse foods once so heavily a part of not just our diets but our lives. Embracing these foods wouldn’t just be a personal choice, but a transformative practice that many can and should adopt, even on small scales. According to Saladino, the notion of eating a simple dandelion from one’s lawn can become a symbol of rebellion against the norm, urging us to rediscover the flavours and benefits of wild ingredients. This approach encourages a reconnection w nature and a reimagining of our relationship with food, emphasising the importance of sustainability, diversity, and a harmonious coexistence w the natural world. This book is an incredibly important read fr anyone concerned about the future of not just our food diversity, but of our planet, and the urgent need fr action to repair the harms we have inflicted upon this earth.

Do yrself a favour and read this book!

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afarcryfrommymain · 2 years

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could i have the full clear on olive? :3c

Oh hell yeah my girl (ask game here)

1) Full Name: Captain Olivia Aurora Laurier, Olive for short

2) Best Friend: Ends up being Carmina, they're abt the same age n everything (tho Cap is maybe 2 years older? Havent decided exactly yet)

3) Sexuality: Ace/Aro girlie doesn't care for it doesn't need it

4) Favorite Color: Purples and Yellows

5) Relationship status: single

6) Ideal mate: see number 3

7) Biggest turn ons: see #6

8) Favorite food: probably fish, tastes good and attached to good memories

9) Crushes:

10) Favorite Music: any song on Acoustic catches her easy but shes also in love with the few times she's heard a violin paired with a non classical genere (think Dirty Harry by Gorillaz-one shes heard or Are you Satisfied by Marina and the Diamonds-one she hasn't but would love)

11) Biggest Fear: Losing people she loves

12) Biggest fantasy: her mom and dad would describe the plots of Ghibli films to her while in the bunker when she was bored of her books and she's always wanted to live in a comfortable little village and eat bread. She wants a flying broom or to befriend wild animals (she loves Horatio with her whole heart btw)

13) Bad Habits: bites her nails and the skin around them (especially when stressed which is always)

14) Biggest Regret: Left to help with a highwaymen base while her dad was sick and was never able to say goodbye

15) Best Kept Secret: in the funnier side; found really old beer and drank it and believes Rush never found out (he did but never said anything- shes bad at secrets tbh)

16) Last Thought: (fuck what does this one even mean???) "I hope I'm leaving here better than when I arrived"-final thought ever? Ig?

17) Worst romantic experience: she read and heard a lot of people talking about romance (she's like 16 at this point) so she picks one person out thats her age and is like "idk what dating is like we should try" and the other person just was really weird abt how competent she was the entire time. And she was like "its probably normal to hate kissing" and eventually Rush was like "bud- no? Thats not- no????" And when she told the other dude they threw a hissy fit abt it and got into a fight with each other, eventually it was sorted but it was uncomfortable fr.

18) Biggest Insecurity: she's 5' even and everyone in her life is at least an inch taller than her and she hates it

19) Weapon of Choice: Saw Launcher and I've decided that she should get a stop sign like Maddness Combat instead of a shovel; ya know as a treat

20) Role Model: Thomas Rush, of course.

#im talking now #far cry 5 #Captian Olive #Olivia Laurier #far cry new dawn #far cry captain #fun fact i just figured out her last name bc of this ask #thank you bestie i really needed to pick one fr #i love her btw i know i post a lot of Aphid #but i love them both equally and i swear ill post her more #shes much less... angsty ig? than Aphid and shes got a lot of positivity #sun coded character kinda energy #just genuinely happy. tries to see good in everyone and stay positive even if its really miserable #ill write snippets with her one kf these days #and she'll be in my New Dawn fic whenever i get around to continuing it

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thelensofyashunews · 6 months

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LIZZY MCALPINE’S NEW ALBUM OLDER OUT NOW

Older, the highly anticipated new album from singer, songwriter and producer Lizzy McAlpine is out today on RCA Records—get it here.

In celebration of the album, Lizzy will embark on “The Older Tour,” an extensive headline run hitting North America, the U.K. and Europe. The dates, which kick off this month, will see Lizzy playing back-to-back nights at New York’s Radio City Music Hall, Los Angeles’ Greek Theatre, Washington D.C.’s The Anthem, Boston’s MGM Music Hall at Fenway and Philadelphia’s The Met. Additional stops include Toronto’s Budweiser Stage, Seattle’s WaMu Theater and San Francisco’s Bill Graham Civic Auditorium as well as performances at Bonnaroo and Hinterland festivals. See below for a full itinerary.

Recorded and produced in Los Angeles by Lizzy with Mason Stoops (Ryan Beatty, Del Water Gap), Ryan Lerman of Scary Pockets, Jeremy Most (Emily King, Norah Jones) and Tony Berg (Taylor Swift, Boygenius), Older finds the 24-year-old rising star stepping into newfound confidence, discovering her voice and defining her artistry with profound simplicity. It’s a notable departure for Lizzy, who wrote the LP’s deeply personal 14 tracks during a transition into adulthood.

Lizzy’s eagerly awaited third studio album features previously shared singles, “I Guess” and the record’s title track, which she performed for the first time on “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” last month—watch here.

Older is the follow up to Lizzy’s widely successful album, five seconds flat, which was released to critical acclaim in the spring of 2022. The record features hit singles “all my ghosts” and “erase me (feat. Jacob Collier)” as well as the Platinum-certified track,“ceilings,” which��debuted at No. 75 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

Born outside Philadelphia, Lizzy gained recognition when she began to share original songs and covers on Soundcloud and YouTube. In 2020, Lizzy released her debut album, Give Me A Minute, solidifying herself as a rising force and amassing thousands of devoted fans. She has collaborated with some of the industry’s biggest names, most recently featuring on Niall Horan’s “You Could Start a Cult” and Noah Kahan’s “Call Your Mom.” Watch Lizzy perform on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, The Ellen Show and NPR Music’s Tiny Desk, where her set was voted in the Top 5 Tiny Desks of 2022.

THE OLDER TOUR

April 21—San Diego, CA—Cal Coast Credit Union Open Air Theatre

April 24—Morrison, CO—Red Rocks Amphitheatre

May 11—Seattle, WA—WaMu Theater

May 13—Portland, OR—Alaska Airlines’ Theater of the Clouds

May 16—San Francisco, CA—Bill Graham Civic Auditorium

May 18—Los Angeles, CA—Greek Theatre

May 19—Los Angeles, CA—Greek Theatre

June 11—Washington, D.C.—The Anthem

June 12—Washington, D.C.—The Anthem

June 14—Manchester, TN—Bonnaroo*

June 18—New York, NY—Radio City Music Hall

June 19—New York, NY—Radio City Music Hall

June 21—Boston, MA—MGM Music Hall at Fenway

June 22—Boston, MA—MGM Music Hall at Fenway

June 24—Philadelphia, PA—The Met

June 25—Philadelphia, PA—The Met

August 1—Chicago, IL—Lollapalooza*

August 3—Saint Charles, IA—Hinterland*

August 6—Detroit, MI—Masonic Temple Theatre

August 7—Toronto, ON—Budweiser Stage

October 13—Brussels, BE—Forest National

October 15—Amsterdam, NL—AFAS Live

October 17—Berlin, DE—Uber Eats Music Hall

October 19—Cologne, DE—Palladium

October 21—Paris, FR—Zénith Paris - La Villette

October 24—London, U.K.—Eventim Apollo

October 25—London, U.K.—Eventim Apollo

October 27—Manchester, U.K.—O2 Victoria Warehouse

October 28—Birmingham, U.K.—O2 Academy

October 31—Dublin, IE—3Arena

*festival performance

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wklwllp · 8 months

Text

lets talk about something else? 🩷

im on a new hair jurney ! let talk about it real quick...

my natural hair is curly, a volumous 2c-3a curly hair. but when i was a kid, my hair was almost straight, kinda a wavy 2a, it changed to curly when i started puberty, at 11-12 year old.

since then i had mixed feeling about it, suddenly my hair was SO curly and SO volumous? and some people tried to make fun of calling me a "lion", but some people used to like it ! but ME, myself, didn't hate my curls, it was at the age 13 to 14 i started taking care of my hair more seriously like watching videos on youtube, buying new products and started using hair masks, i was washing my hair daily, was taking it seriously washing like almost everyday, i even used to put alarms on the days i had to wash my hair. but still wanted it to be back as wavy... i remember pretty well i was obsessed with having wavy hair and how beautiful it was, maybe because i had a hair like that and missed it, i didn't like the sudden volumous hair at all, so i did some chemicals to reduce it and straightned a lot in my preteen years. due to these process, my curls were loose and my volume did reduced, i was enjoying it on how it looked at the time. feeling pretty.

at age of 15, i decided to bleach my bangs and i was enjoying it as well! who didn't had the phase to do something different at 15? hahaha but somwhow this time i didn't want to use my curly hair anymore, it was the first time in life i cried looking at the mirror with my natural hair, so i did MORE straighting to my poor hair and it was like that until the pandemic started. 2020 i was 16 years old, since we had to study at home (wich i didn't, but that's another story lol) i dyed my bangs back to its natural color, and.... this is where all the things changed.

I still remember everyhting, when i stopped going to school i started to care more about my hair since i didn't had to style it every single day anymore, and i was so shocked that it was sooo dry and the curls DIED, like fr, i was doing hair treatments at home and some oil treatments but it wasnt doing any difference... it was really annoying to me. SO in 2020 april, i decided to cut my hair at collarbone lenght by myself and all somehow... it turned STRAIGHT, like, no kidding, it was real straight i was sooo confused and didn't like it at all lmaoo (and i did get covid in 2020 but i didn't see any harm on my hair like hair loss, my hair was dry because it was fucked up from so many straightments).

my hair was suffering due to what i have had done on my poor hair the past year, in 2019, so because of that my hair was 2 textures at once, the roots were puffy to the baby curls growing and the ends were full straight and when i used my curly creams to style it didn't curly at all and it was a really damaged hair, THANKFULLY school was so over that year so i could be ugly at home only hahaha.

doing so, i got back to do the haircare that i knew, i used to put food on my hair like, you know that internet recipts to use sugar, honey, tapioca, avocado, honey, etc to """deep treatment""" your hair? yeah, 100% fake. after a while, i stopped doing that because it does more harm than good to your hair, i think at the beggining of 2021 i started to invest more in a brazilian method called "hair cronogram" wich i had to wash my hair at least 3x a week alternating hydration, nutrition and reconstruction (i was doing this at 13 already, this time i was just doing with actual hair products instead lol), so i begun to buy actual hair masks and various hair oils. oils are so important for dry scalp and ends. some tips for you reading this. buy products that are created for HAIR, not food that you eat !!! please !!

in 2021, my hair grow a lot!! it was past my chest at the time, my roots were curling again and everything was cute, i was starting to love my hair again. this time my goal was to have my volumous curly hair again. i went to my birthplace, rio de janeiro, to visit my family after my grandma's death, and there i discovered and used a lot of different hair products and it was crucial for my journey.

in june 2021 i cut my hair, it was on my shoulder lenght and my curls were so back, but did something different...

i dyed my whole hair for the first time

did i did a good choice? a bad choice?

well, at the time it was a good choice. i was kinda bored with my natural dark brown hair, so i tried to be different (again because i want to change all the time lmao). it was the first time in YEARS i loved my hair SOOO much, it was the most curly i ever seen in my life and it was SO healthy ahh it was the best my hair ever was... i died it orange, a strawberry blonde, it was p-e-r-f-e-c-t. i loved every single time in it.

unfortunately it didn't last more than a month and made a huge mistake, my stupid ass used bleaching powder on my roots.... i misheard what my hairdresser had said to me, i used a hair toner instead of actual dye and my roots were more of a neon orange and the rest was normal.... it was the wrost! i was willing to jump off a bridge, and even more sad, i had to go to school in person 2 days after.... so i had to dye my whole hair in a different color to hide it and it was succesfull... i didn't know shit about dying hair so i was really struggling and the stupid friends that i had at the time didn't help me at all. but i accepted the new color but i wanted the old tone back... i loved it the strawberry blonde so much.

on december 2021, i dyed it purple. 🤓🤓🤓 funny it isn't? yeah but i reeeeally didn't like that red hair, i wanted the orange not this one, but still, my curls were there and really good, i was loving every single moment of my curls. my hair wasn't purple after a week, it was like my natural hair, but a little lighter, so my roots were appearing. at this time my parents were talking a lot on my head saying to stop touching my hair and blabla and it demotivated me a lot, my mom once called me a retarted for wanting to cut my hair again, but i did it anyways.

I was 17, i don't remember the date, but i wanted my orange again soo bad, i dyed my hair orange again, but unfortunately it wasn't the first orange i had, i never had it again actually. this time i got sad with my hair again. the hairdresser used bleaching powder on my hair and it damaged my curls again, it had loosen my curls and reduced my volume again, awful. i wasn't happy. the products i had were or old or my mother's discards and it wasn't doing anything on my hair since it was pure damage. i was so sad that i wasn't taking care of my hair that much anymore. I focused on studying art, was dedicating all my time on it. I was dying my roots at home.

in 2022 new year eve, i dyed my roots for the last time. after some time, i realized that my roots were at least 3 different colors, i felt so bad, everything was bad again, curls damaged and ugly color. in the middle of 2023 i decided to never dye my hair anymore for 3 reasons: it damaged my hair a lot, i wasn't feeling it anymore and i was spending more money than i have in it, and it was bad, didn't had too much time as well.

suddenly my hair went to be SUPER dry hair, my ends were AWFUL, the products i had wasn't that good to take care of my damaged hair and didn't had money to buy expensive products. i dyed a darker color again but it didn't change, the orange came back. and with all the events that happen in 2023: started using birth control, was washing my hair lesser (there were times i only washed my hair 4 times A MONTH), been a stress ball, art being bad, pregnant cat and ending friendships, combining everything = depression and hair loss.

in just 5 months, i had lost ALL my volume hair, my hair kept falling, i was panicking, my hair is tiny now. i have bald spots. it's fragile, dry, curls isn't curling again, it is very bad right now. veeery bad. the most damaged my hair has been ever in my life. i was dissapointed.

so how's it's my hair now?

now, january 2024, 19 years old. i can say i am taking care of it more than ever.

in november 2023 i cut my hair again, removed most of the bleached/dyed/damaged hair that i had, and cut even more in december. my hair is the shortest i ever had in my life, is upper my shoulder. the curls are more wavy now, maybe it's the birth control (wich i plan to stop using it as fast as possible this year) or the lenght, i am washing it daily again, at least 3-4 times a week, the old products are finally ending and i bought more expensive hair products little by little and i already see such a huuge diference. i don't do the hair cronogram method anymore since i have knowledge about it so i just do what i see whats my hair needs at the day, but i'm focusing to learn more on what my hair is and how it react to products and the weather.

since i moved i'm taking care of my hair daily, i decided to study more about the ingredients of the hair products and discovered more professional and good brands (god bless brazilian hair products because we are the best), bought more hair brushes and started to use hair tonic to estimulate hair growth.

my hair's still falling a lot, but i know this is a long journey, i know for the past years how long it took to grow haha so its not new to me! fortunately my hair growth is good and my genetics is strong, but unfortunately i had lost the track on my habits in the past 2 months but i want to eat healthier combining with the gym, this year cannot fail !! it has been pretty hard since i am demotivated at everything and it's so hard to go back to the routine... but here i am ! trying hard not to fall into my stupid depressed thoughts !!

my goal now is to have my hair 100% virgin again, my roots are pretty long right now and it looks amazing in touch and really soft and shiny, i'm learning new things about my brand new hair !! the fact that it's wavier now piss me off a little bit hahaha but we'll see! maybe only in 2026 i will be satisfied with my hair and it will be healthy for the first time ever. i will just continue with my hair journey, wich i love the most to take care of! i'm loving my hair again and can't wait to it to grow long again, the last time i had it long were at 15, and probably it'll be the first time it's going to be healthy and well cared. 🩷🩷🩷

should i put this attention and care about my skin and body as well? phew i have to get rich fast

#hairjourney #the amount of up and downs i had with myself lmaaoo #welp! thats life #i can say i'm very happy with my hair now #maybe i can update about my hair in here like when i buy new stuff or if i see an improvement in my hair growth #and help people as well since i have a lot of knowledge on it hahaha but i have to have a following first so heey

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shop-korea · 9 months

Text

Everyone Says I Love You | Full Movie | Julia Roberts | Edward Norton | ...

youtube

FORGOT - 2 - TELL - U - AS

ARMED - COUNTY - EMPLOYEES

MIAMI - DADE - MON - 2 - FRIDAY

8:30A - THEY - WILL - SHOOT ALL

HOMELESS - POOR - ON STREET

THROW - IN - THEIR - VEHICLES

BACK - OF - HOOD - ALL - THEM

BRING - 2 - LITTLE - HAVANA

MALE - LICENSED - NURSES

REMOVE - OF - KIDNEY AND

BLADDER - $9,000 - EA TOO

BY - FEDEX - THEN - WASTE

MANAGEMENT - 2 - PICK UP

ALL - THINGS - SO - ALL THE

STREETS - OF - MIAMI - ARE

CLEAR - OF - PEOPLE

SW 2 ST - AND - SW NORTH

RIVER DR - AND - PENTHOUSE

BUILDING - 4 - WEDDINGS TOO

THAT - CORNER - THEY - WILL

KILL - ALL - LIKE - NAZI

REGIME - WESTERN GERMANY

ADOLPH HITLER - FANS

COUNTY - EMPLOYEES

ALL - MALES - BLKS AND

HISPANICS - NO 1 - AND 3

CRIMINALS - USA - WORLD

NO - HOMELESS - IN - THE

STREET - THEY'RE - KILLING

ALL - SO - DEMOCRATIC PARTY

30 STATES - STAND - YOUR

GROUND - LAW - ALL - YES

PLACES - INTERNATIONAL

FUNDING - HIDDEN CAMERAS

WE - WILL - HEAR - ALL SAID

BY - US POLICE - ALL - WHO

ARE - ARMED - ILLEGALLY

ARMED - AS - THEY - COUNTY

EMPLOYEES - SHOOTING AS

THEY - DO - OUR - SYSTEMS

PRISMED - AREA - 7 TIMES THEY

GOT - THEIR - BULLETS - AND

WE - AIR - CREMATED - THEIR

BODIES - SENT - 2 - FIRST YES

LEVEL - OF - HEAVEN - AS

THEY - MET THEIR CREATOR

AS - HE - SENT - 2 - MIDDLE OF

EARTH - VERY - HOT - 2 SHEOL

LAKE - OF - FIRE - HAS - VIEW

OF - MANY - EATING IN HEAVEN

IKE TURNER - IN - SHEOL - SEES

TINA TURNER - WHO - HE BEAT

KICKED - BROKE - RIBS - WHO

HE - ASSAULTED - SHE - DIED

FAST - SO - IN - HEAVEN - AS

SHE - EATS - LOBSTERS - IKE

TURNER - IN - LAKE - OF FIRE

WORMS - GO - THROUGH THEM

HE - IS - WATCHING - AS - TINA

EATS - LOBSTERS - IN HEAVEN

SO - WHERE - HOMELESS ARE

THE - POOR - THERE - WILL BE

INVISIBLE - PRISM MODE - AS

COUNTY - EMPLOYEES - FIRE

THEY - SHOT - THEMSELVES

7 TIMES - THE - FORCE - AND

WE - WILL - AUTO - CREMATE

THEIR - BODIES - DISAPPEAR

THEIR - VEHICLES - UNTIL YES

THEN - 5:40A - CONSTRUCTION

MALE - WORKERS - PAYS - YES

EXPENSIVE - PARKING - OTHER

WALKS - THEIR - RIGHT - 2 THE

SIDEWALKS - AS - EARLY

SETTLERS - NO - TOILET

GREETED - THEM - 13 STATES

FR - HEAD - OF - INDIANS TOO

SIDEWALKS - TODAY - BROKEN

EXTREME - SANITATION - EACH

WEEK - OVER - 7 YEARS - NEVER

BROOMED - STREETS - NEVER

REMOVED - TRASH - LEAVES 2

NEVER - REMOVE - BROKEN

GLASS - HAITI - BLK - POLICE

ORDERS - HOMELESS 2 THROW

TRASH - ON - SIDE - ORDERED

ME - 2 THROW - MY - TENT - 2

HE - SAID - AMAZON - IS -

GARBAGE - AND - TRASH

I - ASKED - WHERE - 2 GO

IGNORED - ME - AND WENT

2 - OTHER - TENT - THAT YES

LOOKS - LIKE - MINE

HAITI - BLK - MALES - OF

MIAMI - POLICE - CALLS

WALMART - AND - AMAZON

TRASH - OF - ONLINE

GARBAGE - OF - ONLINE

CHRISTIAN - VUDU - AND VUDU

CATHOLIC - BIBLE

HAITI - WHO - MURDERS

WOMEN - AND - KIDS

POOREST - COUNTRY - OF

LATIN - AMERICA - POOREST

CARIBBEAN - COUNTRY

FLORIDA - NATURALIZES

DANGEROUS - HAITI - MALES

AND - FEMALES - IMMORAL

WITH - NUDITY - THEY - EAT

DEAD - BABIES - AFTER THEY

STAB - THEM - FLORIDA - NOW

BLK - HAITI - PAID - SERVITUDE

FORMER - $0.01 - FOR - 1,000

BLK - SLAVES - FR - S AFRICA

AGE 70 - 80 - AGE 2 - 10 - AGE 7

SOUTH AFRICA - SOLD - KIDS

AND - THE - OLD - BAD PEOPLE

JESUS - IS LORD - EATING NOW

#Youtube

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fullsunstrawberry · 1 year

Note

STOP TAGT DRESS IS SO PRETTY OMGGGG

i could try and find my prom dress but it’s burrier in my camera roll so i don’t want to try 😭

don’t mind the bag of makeup next to my mirror i’m with my mother for a few days so i just brought what i need lmaooo

i’m with my cousin as well SHES SO ANNOYING OMG. she keeps on asking me when im getting married and she said that i’ve already dated him for 4 years so why am i not married LIKE SIT YOUR 12 YEAR OLD BUTT DOWN.

i love her tho she’s my fave 😘😘😘

anyway STUDY HARD YOULL DI AMAZING!!!! accounting was so boring tbh but you got this fr ❤️

THANK YOU! none of the dresses at shops near me were for bigger cheated woman so my grandma cut the dress top off and i wore a corset 😭❤️

WAIT YOU LOOK SO GOOD! that dress is beautiful i love the color 🤩

i do the same thing with my makeup 💀 i got no time to make it all pretty

tell your cousin to calm down, she’s twelve 🖐️ she don’t gotta be all up in your business /hj

i only have 2 girl cousins :( one is 4 and the other is 13. my family is just a bunch of boys

i only have 2 more exams left! half way there 💪💪

EAT, DRINK WATER, SLEEP!!!

#my love <3 #ask answered #ask #love yah #erin-calling <3

0 notes

ess-presso · 2 years

Note

hi ess <3

miss taylor: dancing with our hands tied, blank space, & treacherous <3

ty for the fic rec <3 i love texting fics sm i eat em up everytime. here's one for u, operation: toebeans by moonymoment (cute lil wolfstar fic, they fuck around with minnie and shes so tired of them)

chatting <3

id love to see a massive colonel sanders statue irl. it would definitely be significant enough for people to make pilgrimages to it & in fact i think id visit it myself.

fuck san francisco (im sure its lovely) i hate it there (it looks kinda cool tbh). sadly we've already broken best friend code cause she lives in a different city for uni 💔💔 havent seen that bitch since the beginning of january and im losing my mind. but its fine i think i get to see her this month🕺

ah yes the only two requirements to date someone: be hot and funny. (no but fr thats it. the bar is so low)

hozier <3333 (yes canadian money smells like maple syrup!!! just the notes though not the coins. i wish the coins were scented too)

now for the jesus/judas au..... i think peter simply has to be judas. but for jesus i wanna say james because judas revealed jesus' identity = peter revealing james & lily's location (although sirius as jesus would be funny too with his long jesus-like hair & the way he kinda came back to life via escaping azkaban)

american harry styles scares me fr.

fuck seagulls like actually. they always steal my food at the beach while im swimming and i cant swim back in time to stop them. theyre public enemies around these parts.

oh god. an eighteen year old dating a fourteen year old while he has another gf...... so fucking gross. (someone free both those girls rn. actual leonardo dicaprio behaviour)

i got anne carson's sappho fragments book for christmas & i was gonna go ahead and annotate it but now i feel like i should wait until i have someone to annotate it for. or maybe ill just annotate it and then i can give it to my person when they come along <3

ur def right im the opposite of final girl material but i am impulsive and stubborn so i will explore the church if its the last thing i do. (it will be the last thing i do cause im gonna end up getting myself killed)

six cans of monster can cure anything & i truly believe that. even a horrible hangover.

philosopher's stone>>>> sorcerer's stone sounds so bad anyways. im glad canada isnt quite dumb enough to get the sorcerer's stone treatment.

all of my halloween costumes are pretty lame tbh. i was a bee for my first bday (hence my nickname) but ive been a witch, vampire, zombie, ghost, etc. nothing special really

u should definitely tell harvard. theyd be too stunned to deny u entry its foolproof.

i loved blowing things up in chem. truly my only motivation to go to class.

using music apps based on our fav colours thats so real of us.

i may not have gotten wingstop but i did see florida (jumpscare)

joey in season one <3333

infinite bag of money thats a great idea how did i not think of that.

u will be banker one day. im manifesting this for u.

tumblr will forever be the superior social media idc. this website is untouchable.

oh god that guys a mummy's boy...... freud would absolutely lose his mind. a field day.

i understand u. like sometimes ur drunk self has a mind of its own and will do random shit. ive cut my hair drunk and woke up very confused but at least i managed to not botch it!!!

love in the dark is SUCH A JEGULUS SONGGG oh my god. adding to my jegulus playlist right this instant.

omg listening to music while looking at art>>>>>> perfection. makes u feel so peaceful and cool fr. (WENDYS!!! i love wendys so much.)

ur completely right id rather be having a horrible time with liv than be somewhere nice with someone i hate. doesnt matter what we're doing or whats happening it'll just be better if shes there.

i love that taylor likes 13 like yes girl me too. but 13 is actually a lucky number in italy so my family has always liked it!

oh god james and lily im so sorry......im just glad i wasnt born in 1981 or else id be highly suspicious that im the reincarnation of one of them.

american and canadian accents are super similar unless we're talking southern united states or far eastern canada. they literally sound irish over there no joke.

drarry <3 i just love the angst. so many possibilities for them.

jily & jegulus <33 ur right, jegulus for the fics (theres just SO many good ones) but jily for the ships theyre just so sweet.

after that guy i swore to never watch a movie for someone i like ever again. (also mainly because most of the time the movie is SO BAD!!!!) but yes its so cute when ur watching something with someone and they tell u all about it <333

we kinda did have a lot of paint lying around! it was mostly just lil kid art sets with crappy cheap markers and pencils but they were fun. if i was lucky i was allowed to use my parents fancy stuff.

it was genuinely so funny like i wish i couldve seen the sock fall from the audience's perspective i bet it was ridiculous.

literally ezra/aria. it was so gross but at least it wasnt real.

rude old people make me so mad like how have u lived so much of ur life and still carry so much hate in u......get a life old lady!!!!!!

hermione & harry <33

its true dramione fics are better. romione fics are usually just as bland as they are in canon. still cute tho.

tote bags!!!! love em. and omg a pride and prejudice tote thats so cool. i have one with constellations all over it i love it sm. (but also tote bags make my shoulders hurt so bad i swear im gonna get scoliosis one day)

wireless headphones till i die!!!!! how am i supposed to clean my room while watching netflix or something with wired headphones. how am i supposed to cook with wired headphones.

omg a 2! alexa play lover by taylor swift. (im a 5, apparently the investigators. i do love solving a good puzzle so ill take it)

red nail polish 4ever. looks good with anything i swear. my fav is a dark wine red and its just perfect.

wait thats so funny. it sounds straight out of an episode of friends or something. (glad everyones okay!!!!)

THATS SO CUTE!!!!! AHHHHH! top tier gift fr.

also a top tier gift. signed copies of ur fav books + unabridged podg + museums???? a flawless gift.

THE EMMA QUOTE OHHHH MY GOD!! i love that quote so fucking much. those are all so good. quotes that make u feel completely unzipped are the best always.

that poem is so good wtf. "i fear no fate (for you are my fate my sweet)" WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!! IM UNWELL.

i wanna visit the lake district so bad ohhh my god. it looks so nice. the air looks so crisp there.

the locket that is so cute im crying!!!!!! i have a pic of liv and i from when were like 3/4 grinning at each other and ive wanted to put it in a locket forever so u have inspired me thatll be her bday gift.

tigers are so cool thats an excellent choice. king of the jungle fr.

horror movies & romcoms thats so real of u. the duality of man. & horror movie adrenaline rushes are unlike anything i swear.

not picking between jily and jegulus REAL!!! theyre both so perfect.

answering qs!

im not allergic to anything! (that i know of. so far so good.)

i totally believe in fate, at least to the "everything happens for a reason" degree. i think people need to just live their lives and let things happen cause we cant control everything and it would be impossible to even try. if its meant to be then itll be.

i accidentally fucked up a really good friendship a while ago by not being there for someone when they needed it (to be fair we were both going THRU it so i didnt realize) but we both moved on & they had moved to a different school so we drifted apart eventually. shit happens but theyre happier now so thats good.

i wake up bright and early (its 12pm.) i gracefully get out of bed (i sit on my phone for half an hour before dragging myself out of bed) i go brush my teeth and do skincare (i do brush my teeth but i definitely dont feel like doing skincare) i go make a nice nutritious meal (i make a coffee and some toast if its a good day) i do a wakeup workout (i sit in bed and drink my coffee) i get dressed for the day (im not changing out of my pjs) i do my makeup (im not doing my makeup) i head to campus for my class (my class is online. i stay in bed.)

spiderman or thor!!! ive never read any of the comics so this is purely based on their movies but peter parker i love that man. and thor is a dumb idiot i love him.

i think id switch lives with either elon musk or jeff bezos so i can give away all their money to charity or to pay for important things that they can afford like solving world hunger. i think id also love to switch lives with timothee chalamet like what goes on in that boy's head hes so funny sometimes.

(like which pre-existing fic do i wish i was the author of?) i wish i had written just lovers by zar (also intermission by zar) just because that fic is a masterpiece and to be the author of such a work of art would be an honour.

i wish i had written the iliad and the odyssey cause it would be cool as fuck to be as iconic as homer. (also since homer mightve not actually existed id love to be that much of an enigma too. keep em guessing)

ive never been in love! ive liked people but it never gets past that. i guess im just waiting for the right person to come along. but also, in a way i think i fall in love with everyone i meet. some people are just so cool and ill carry that memory of them forever.

i dance and sing a lot when im drunk. i get loud in general but i will karaoke the shit out of whatever is playing. also i get giggly cause everything becomes funny for no reason.

the worst fight liv and i have had is so dumb, she called me telling me that she was having people over at her place for her bday. i said i wasnt sure if i could make it bc i had 4 papers due that same weekend but i would try bc i obviously wanted to be there for her bday. she called me back a bit later sobbing saying she wanted me to be there and that she was mad i might miss it, i started sobbing because i felt bad and because i was overwhelmed, i told her okay, id be there no matter what, she said okay. we hung up and then she called me back 10 mins later completely fine and we both apologized for the dramatics & everything was fine and i managed to write my 4 papers in time so i could go. (uni and exams were kicking both our asses & we both had a breakdown cause neither of us had slept in like 2 days at that point lmfao)

probably either stargazing and seeing sirius & regulus & that comet, or when i last saw liv in january - we got coffee and walked around a lake for like 3 hours and talked shit abt the bitchy people from high school. it was lovely.

jegulily yes! ive never read any jegulily but i wouldnt mind reading some at some point. again, james has two hands!!! plus i think their dynamic is so fun.

i actually dont watch a whole lot of romcoms so i had to look up which movies would be considered romcoms and from that search my favs that ive seen are: enchanted, easy A, mamma mia, & 10 things i hate about you!

i also dont watch a lot of horror movies but i was fucking OBSESSED with IT in 2017 like fully obsessed. my entire personality was from that goddamn movie.

qs for u!

piercings vs tattoos?

whats your fatal flaw?

if u were any emoji which would u be?

whats ur love language?

fav superhero?

fav fic of all time

fav disney/pixar movie?

whats ur preferred method of annotating books? (like do u add random commentary or do u add deep analysis & thoughts?

what do u think ur animagus would be?

fav aesthetic?

do u prefer to stay in to watch a movie or go to the theatres?

fav day of the week and why

whats your literary archetype? (fun lil quiz, i got the ruler)

thats all for now <3

-bee

bee my darling <333

(first apologies for replying late.I seem to have a knack with doing those kind of things. but now I'm on half-term break , exams are over, so I'm mostly a free bird !!!)

miss Taylor -

dancing with our hands tied - JEGULUS - 'I loved u in secret'. that's all. secret love is theirs , they own it . also also , this is so regulus's line - 'I loved you in spite of Deep fears that the world would divide us'. HIM HIM HIMMMM.

blank space - all the women - I simply couldn't choose between them and since this song is very very female rage to me , I'll say all of them. especially Marlene , because if she's one to sleep around , you just know she was shamed for it.

treacherous - WOLFSTAR - I just really feel the vibe of sirius being like 'I'll follow you home' and remus thinking that the love he feels for sirius is treacherous !!!

chatting ----->

nah imagine being under that statue and you see boxes of free kfc just hanging around . colonel the redeemer would be gods child fr.

everything in the us looks either cool or dangerous. SHE BROKE THE BFF CODE. yta divorce immediately. lu lives like five minutes away from me and it's to and fro from there like everyday. I see him all the time and I haven't even thought about the possibility that one day I might not see him everyday. like that's not happening. peace to u bee , u brave for not tearing the fuck up.

nah fr where are my hot and funny little bitches/bastards. like bro come here and kiss me on the mouth and take me out and we can get married in like an hour.

hosier is bae baeeee. (that's so fucking cool. and I think the coins should so smell like maple syrup. it's fucking unjust that they don't. sue Trudeau.)

Peter = judas and James = Jesus (and I so see ur point with the sirius looking like Jesus parallel. like James (if he was alive) would've so made some jokes about that.

TALKING ABOUT HARRY STYLES - please tell me you saw him at the brit awards yesterday. please. I was in fucking tears when I saw. like broooo he mentioned Zayn??? my boy Zayn ???? my directioner heart is healing for real. (and lewis Capaldi is probably the only person in the world who can among to get the band back together. he has the power.)

I get chased by them whenever I'm at the beach and they've stolen chips from my fish and chips before and it's so fucking annoying like genuinely I wish they'd go fuck themselves.

no genuinely someone should arrest that guy. fucking hate him. piss bag.

ahhhhh annotate it and then buy a new copy for your person and annotate with shit like 'made me think of u' and everything I would cry my fucking eyes out if someone gave me that.

nah bee a nun gonna fly in and drop kick u in the face (now laughing at this image)

it did not cure my hangover ! it made it worse !!! and the worst part was that lu was also hungover so he couldn't work his magic with his hangover potion. and he also emptied his insides out (he threw up) and I was his sick nurse and made him soup and everything. (he was so out of it it was funny as fuck)

canada is smarter than the use for sure (free healthcare and gun control for one.)

bee as a bee oh my god that's so cute (and those costumes aren't lame they're classics)

fr Harvard is so calling.

blowing things up is so so fun. I used ethanol in class recently (there was a big boom) and it was very funnn.

yes pink and green stay winning always >>>

ew not florida ewwwwww.

joey is just bae. I love him so so much. (his funeral fit stays banging.)

I'm just smarter than u bee , let's face it.

update on the banking thing - he said no. he just doesn't like powerful women.

tumblr is so bae , like vanilla extract is so funny to me now

freud would love to dissect that boy fr.

cutting your hair drunk ??? and not botching it ??? you are the chosen one. I bow down to your brilliance.

THE MOST JEGULUS SONG TO EVER JEGULUS. yes yes u must add it. can't believe it wasn't already there in the first place.

it is so perfect. such a vibe honestly. (Wendy's slaps hard. but it wasn't square so I feel betrayed.)

bad times with your best friend so that ten years in the future you can look back and laugh on how stupid and dumb you were.

ahhh no my family has always considered 13 bad luck. but I don't believe it so 13 stays winning <333

can't tell the difference fr (Irish ??? never knew that that's fucking weird (in a good way))

DRARRRRRRYYYYYY the angst is unmatched. unmatched I tell you.

jegulus fics are so so so good I eat them up like soup. and jily is just - perfect. I love them. I love it so so much.

no because those kind of movies are so weird. it annoys me so much. (but watching stuff with someone who's obsessed with the thing you're watching ??? like whatttt. it's so sweet. eg Lu's fucking obsessed with sports and shit and he knows I'm just not - so he always always explains shit to me like when to cheer which team we support and everything.)

I would feel so proud if it was me and I was allowed to use the fancy paints. like so so important and everything I would love it so so much.

I can imagine it now. sock falling in slow motion.

yes thank fuck for that.

get a life of their own frrrr. high time considering their lives are just about to end.

herm and harry are my darlings honestlyyy

yes yes romione is so cute and awesome but I don't personally like fics about them fr.

OH MY GOD A CONSTELLATION TOTE ???? honestly you're so fucking awesome it's fucking coooolllll.

WIRELESS HEADPHONES 5ever fr fr. could never deal with the wires when I'm doing stuff.

LOVVVVERRRRR. ( a 5 ??? that's awesome !!!)

mine's that kind of red or a classic bright red. love them classics and everything I love it <33

it really really really was. (we're all good but we have matching scars now ! hey - tattoos right there ???)

no I loved it so so much I love it so fucking much it's cool as fuck. prize present <33

I'm literally the best friend ever he should bow down to me and my excellence. (no but I just got him all his favourite things and bro got super emotional and everything. )

YES I FEEL SO UNZIPPED WHEN I READ THAT SHIT I FUCKING LOVE IT SOOTHES ME. those kind of confession quotes will always be so dear to me.

YES YES U GET IT. favourite poem ever <33

the air is super crisp and everything feels mega real up there. like I am hyper-aware of the fact that I exist.

yes yes a locket like that is so so cute. she will keep it close to her heart trust <333

YES TIGERS. GO TIGERS.

horror movies & romcoms have my whole heart. rom-coms come first , but horror movies are a close second. (and horror-coms are lovely too !!!)

jily and jegulus are amazing. top-tier always.

reviewing your q's -

god bless u and ur immune system. the chosen 1 fr.

fate fate fate. I believe in destiny and fate and I love it because I really truly believe that I could bump into someone and fall in love. like it could so so happen. It will happen. manifesting the fuck out of it.

friendship break ups make me so so sad. like damn you don't want me anymore???? sad as fuck. (glad you both are doing good now !!!!)

WHAT A FUCING MOOD. same though. I think it's something in the air when I'm getting ready for school. like I get ten times more slugger in the morning I'm getting up for school like I really curse the fuck out of everyone and their mothers.i do it so often.

Peter Parker always <33333. I love them so so so much.(tom and toby and ANDREWWWWW)

(yes yes that's what I meant !!!) I so so need to fucking read it I swear I'll do it. I'm going to do it as soon as I have time honest.

homer is iconic you're so right. keep them guessing always and forever for reals.

I fall in love every time I look in the mirror. no but if we're being honest - me neither. I feel like it's coming though. I love love and I want to be in love too. (meeting the best people and carrying the memory of them forever >>>)

NO HONESTLY. man wearing hat ???? funny as fuckkkk.

not being able to go places because you have exams is so so so fucking annoying. like exams can go to hell (she cried for u ??? that's so sad and honest and sweet honestly best friend GOALS.)

talking shit about bitchy people with your best friend >>>> especially because it's always the darnedest things too and the best friends we have would never expect it and it's always so funny to shock them.

I honestly don't really mind jegulily. I think it's fun , and I might read a couple fics here and there but they'll never be my OTP. I love them , but jegulus and jily stay winning alwayssss.

'I hate the way I don't hate u. not even a little bit , not even at all.' my heartttt. and also Cameron is amazing and needs to be appreciated more.

q's -

now I love piercings (want at least 3 in each ear) but tattoos because to me they can hold much more meaning than a piercing. like it would be amazing and they just .... do stuff piercings can't. piercings still slap though.

loyalty to the people I love. like I've said this before , but I'd absolutely go feral if anything untoward happened to the people I love. i would genuinely fuck the aggressor up. like I genuinely feel like I saw a ten foot tall hunky muscle guy slap lu once , and I was there , I'd get so mad I'm pretty sure my sheer anger would scare him the fuck away. but I'd do it even if they were wrong. like if he says the sky is purple in front of people he doesn't like , then the sky is mf purple until we get home then I ask him what the fuck is going on.

the raising a single eyebrow one. I'm always making that facial expression. (I used to hang out with some pretty sus people and the things they used to say ..... shiver.) and of course the love heart ( where is my pink love heart , apple ?????? where is it ????) simply because I am a hopeless romantic.

acts of service !!! I will always do something like that for someone I love. like you need the groceries ??? not a single word more I'm going rn. also also love love giving gifts. like I really think them out .

SPIDERMANNNN. I love all 3 of them so so much I love the fuck out of them they're my favourites always always.

oh my god I couldn't possibly. but I could. (for each ship I have 1 or 2)

drarry - mental , temptation on the warfront.

jegulus - absentmindedly making me want you

dramione - wait & hope , isolation

wolfstar - of memories and milk thievery , lessen my load

nottpott (harry x theo nott) - rendevouz receipts , lethal combination

btw lethal combination is by the same author as the one who wrote the atlas six !!!! I love it so so much !!1 (nottpott is a guilty pleasure ship)

7. my favourite Disney movie is tangled always always <33333 unmatched. Pixar - UP (I fucking love it. it made me cry so so hard, I love it so so much)

8.i do both. like I have clear post-its , and sometimes I jot my notes down there , other times I have annotated the fuck out of them on the pages. in my copy of Gatsby , I have the word 'gay' written next to a lot of the times nick talks about Gatsby (maybe I'm biased but he was so in love with Gatsby.)

9.i'd love to be a black cat. mostly because I hate how they're said to be bad luck. like they're so sweet and cute and I just love them always. they're amazing. (plus being lazy and thinking they're better than everyone ??? so me honestly.)

10. dark academia !!! I so so so wanna live like that like it's the dream I love it so much. everything about it. the outfits , the scene , the vibes , the feel , the feeling that if I fall in love with someone , it'd kill me to be without them. I just LOVE it.

11. cinemas !!!! I love cinemas so much the vibes , the popcorn , the snacks I've snuck in , the way people clap when famous actors come onto screen >>>>

12. friday !!! end of the week , game night , no alarm to wake upto the next day . Friday has it all always. very dear and near to me <333

13.the lover !!!! no one was surprised by this honestly. it's very literally me. I am very much an idealist always looking for love wherever I can find it !!!

q's for uuuu -

which 1d member is your fave ?

top 5 Taylor songs ?

top Shakespeare quote ?

fave Shakespeare play ?

fave modern family character ?

style vs ootw?

cruel summer vs dress ?

fave tay tay lyric ?

controversial opinion you have ?

famous person you hate (not an obvious one like Kanye or John Mayer we all hate them they don't count) ?

sickest burn you've ever given ?

sickest burn you've ever got ?

moment when you wanted to slap liv's face the fuck off ?

moment you've been horrendously jealous ?

(beee beee beee I love u tonnes. sorry I've been so bad with replying. I'm so going back to normal after this I pinky promise. come back soon <3333333 I missed u!!!)

#ess waters a plant #bee <33 #ess's marauders x ts crossover

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