#the 'is it worth it?' thing with the green beans was also by my friends so credit to zach and jakey

[redtailfins]

[primeofprimes115]

A Birthday to Remember - DCAU Supergirl x Male Reader

Fluff 🥰

Requested: Yes (From Wattpad)

Today was Kara's 21st Birthday, a birthday that was Kara's biggest birthday, at least in Earth terms, to her... Birthdays were celebrated a little differently on Argo, twin sister planet of Krypton.

What better than to spend it fighting and training in a simulated arena, that was overlooked by John Stewart, one of the Green Lanterns who Kara looked up to for advice from time to time, not just her cousin.

But, even though she got over the loss of Argo, her three sisters, mother and father, deeming her the Last Daughter of Argo, Kara In-Ze could never forget she was the last of her kind, wishing her family would be here to celebrate her 21st birthday with her.

But... At least she has new friends, her cousin of Krypton, and her ever-loving boyfriend of three years, who she fell in love with, knowing their first meeting before she revealed her super powers during an altercation with Apokolips' Granny Goodness years ago, the first time she debuted as "Supergirl".

Around that time, he had to reveal his little secret, that of being a technological genius who was a hero in his own right, being the son of a multibillionaire company much like Bruce Wayne's, his mother owns the company itself that has partnered up with Wayne-Enterprises then and there to change the world for the better.

Both were young at the time, now? They're happily together in a relationship, work closely together within the Justice League once it had opened up to allow many other heroes to join in, some would say that Y/N is the luckiest boy in the world to be dating someone like Supergirl. Though at most, Supergirl was lucky to be dating a hero such as S/H/N, his family was close with the Kents after all.

And with Kara's 21st birthday? Y/N had a very big surprise for her, something he'd been considering for a long time now, he'd been given the nod from Kara's cousin after asking about marriage, knowing he was married to Lois Lane. It shocked the Man of Steel at first, but he knew how much Kara loved him, and how much he loved her, he couldn't be anymore happier than knowing that his cousin was going to be married to someone like Y/N.

"C'mon, you gotta tell me what this surprise is!" Kara expressed dramatically toward her boyfriend, who stood with a smug look on his face, resisting Kara's efforts to make him spill the beans on what he had in store for her birthday. "It's my 21st! C'mon! Cut a girl some slack!" she sped up beside him, her cape rustling behind her as she walked normally with him in the hallway.

"Hahaha, then it won't be a surprise!" he chuckled, he hated to keep the surprise secret for now, knowing she'd say yes in a heartbeat to him upon asking the question, but it was also a good thing he had the box laced with lead, to prevent her from even detecting it with her x-ray vision since she was the snoopier one. "I even laced the surprise with lead".

"Ugh! C'mon! You're such a bummer!" she pouted childly, rolling her eyes playfully afterwards before she felt a pair of lips on her cheek' causing her to smirk and pin him to the wall next.

"Woah! Hey! Hahaha-Mmm!" his was shut up with a kiss to his lips straight after, his hands grasping around her hips where he felt her warm skin.

"I'll tickle it out of you if I have to" she whispered with a warm breath across his lips, knowing his ultimate weakness is being ticklish. However, Y/N felt confident still, smirking back at her.

"Good thing I'm wearing my ticklish-proof augments today" he noted to her, which made the blonde pout with a sigh.

"Seriously?" she asked.

"Can't spoil the surprise babe" he told her before sealing her lips with a loving kiss. "I hate to keep it from you, but trust me... It's gonna be worth the wait until later, it's not the right time yet" he continued, pulling back after a moment to get some air.

His eyes locked with hers and he could see the love coming back from those blue irises, a soft smile brewing across her face while she blinked slowly, both getting lost in each other's eyes.

"Three years we've been together, you've been there since I came to Metropolis one day" Kara went down memory lane with him about that, making him chuckle about that certain memory. "The day I... You... Met. If only I knew then you'd become a beacon in my life" she smiled lovingly at him, giving him all of her heart.

"I remember that day fondly" the corners of his lips arched into a soft smile, still pinned to the wall by his girlfriend. "Being there with Jimmy as well, then Granny Goodness comes out of nowhere. I couldn't even believe that you were a lot alike Superman at the time, it was... Amazing" Kara smiled deeply hearing that, she always thought he'd found it amazing. "I remember at that moment I fell in love, there was always something about you that drew me to you".

"I'd say the same thing about you too" Kara smirked before her smirk fell. "Do you... Think Kal's proud of me? I mean... I'm now wearing his signature colors now but, I've never really heard him say he's proud of me in person" she looked down at herself, seeing the fact she had recently changed her suit from the white tee with a small red cape, gloves and blue office looking skirt with red boots to a mid-length red cape, blue crop-top and red skirt with a gold V-shaped belt, and traditional red boots with the gold V around the top, still donning the S in honor of her cousin. She even dropped the hairband.

"Oh, I'm sure he's proud of you, Sunshine. One-Hundred percent sure he is" he cheered her up just for that moment, before his lips were sealed with one more kiss from Kara In-Ze.

"Thanks" she murmured while pulling back from his lips. "I'm gonna go train some more, need that work-out".

"Again?" he asked with a soft laugh, playing it off like he didn't think she'd go again, it sounded like music to his ears, his plan was working very well. "Gonna try break the record?"

"You're welcome to watch ~" she kissed his cheek before taking a hold of his hand. "Well?".

"Of course, I was gonna say yes anyway"...

______________________________________________________________

From what seemed to be just some training exercise, which Kara was being a little cocky at first about, setting a new record in the exercise she completed, then turning into a complete disaster when all of a sudden, a blue orb surrounded Green Arrow, John Stewart and Supergirl within the simulated zone before zipping them out of existence while Superman tried to prevent it from happening, though he had no way to prevent it in any way.

This had made Y/N extremely worried, having just witnessed his girl, alongside Oliver and John, zipped away and out of existence, whereas unknown. He felt sick knowing she was gone within a heartbeat by an unknown entity, at least toward him and Clark.

Little beknown to them, the culprit that did this was from the 30th Century, a far-away future within the timeline itself, the culprit was nonother than Brainiac-5, an organic who rebelled against his ancestors way of life and joined a future version of the Justice League called "The Legion of Superheroes" which was inspired by certain heroes themselves, most notably, S/H/N and Supergirl themselves, which was a secret kept for now...

Brainiac-5 made a huge risk bringing Supergirl, alongside Green Arrow and John Stewart into the 30th Century, though it wasn't really intentional to bring Supergirl into here, she was merely needed the most for being a powerhouse mostly to help free their teammates from mental domination by the Fatal-Five, the Legion's most known batch of enemies within their time.

However... This mission was more riskier than it already was, it was said in the history books of the era, that Supergirl would not return from this mission. It wasn't said that she was killed or went missing in the records, but most feared she would die in this mission.

Or was the history books lying?

In the end... Supergirl, Kara In-Ze, had proved that history isn't as it seems or says to be, she survived the mission, she took a play out of Y/N's own book on making her own luck, rescuing the Legionnaires from the Fatal-Five's control and saved the day. She thought like her cousin, acted like a leader, acted heroically, even willing to sacrifice herself to save the Legionnaires, if only Kal could see her.

Meanwhile this was all going down, Y/N and Superman had Steel help search around the perimeter to search for any signs of where they could've gone, discussing where they could search while Y/N's worries began to overwhelm him a little, fearing that he might not see Oliver, John and Kara again. Clark being the optimistic man himself, gave the boy some hope to continue the search, just to hold out some more hope to find out what happened.

With that going on... The Legionnaires reunited together again, the Fatal-Five's plans now up in flames all thanks to Supergirl's efforts in the long run. 

Balloon Boy handed out a Legionnaire ring toward the three Leaguers, though Oliver and John handed them back as returning with them would disrupt the time stream, Kara looked at hers with a smile on her face, thinking of even staying since the 30th Century looked a lot like Argo.

From all the buildings, to its atmosphere, it felt like home to her... But then something dawned on her.

She'd be leaving behind important people also, one of those people being her boyfriend, who can't come here to the 30th Century after she asked Brainy on the Legionnaire's ship if he could've just brought Y/N with her here, he only revealed it was impossible before giving out a short explanation as to why, which would completely risk breaking the timestream

She felt so drawn here, it looked so much like Argo! But... She'd be breaking someone's heart back in her timeline, someone who meant the world to her, someone who changed her life drastically the more he was around her.

She couldn't leave the love of her life behind, her heart was drawn to him, she planned things out with him in life, he had been there for her while she done the same for him. 

And so... She made the decision after thinking about it.

"Although I think that I do belong here with the Legion, which means leaving my cousin and everyone else behind, but there's only one person I know that I really can't live without" Kara looked toward the Legion before her eyes sat on Brainiac-5, then... She looked away, a lump in her throat upon thinking about the one person she likes to her heart's content. "Y/N... ever since he entered in my life after I went to Metropolis for the first time, things had changed for me drastically, more than I have to admit. Many people had said great things about him and about his family. And I eventually found out who he is, he's just this amazing, caring and compassionate guy, he was that one guy I fell head over heels for, when I hadn't noticed he fell for me first in a way. Since that first ever meeting, since that very first time we worked together as part of a team. Our relationship was a burgeoned one at best, and I've never been happier" she began to smile in GL and GA's direction. 

"Y/N is the type of person who would do everything in his power to make sure you're okay, safe and happy, while he takes in all the bad things that's effecting you, like an unmoving, pillar. His outgoing and friendly nature is what drew me to him, it's what kept me happy, made me feel... Home in a way. He and I had thought of moving in together a year ago, go to the same college together, be together outside of me wearing my cape and him using his gear and tech, have a normal life since we both have all the time in the world for that. Supergirl and S/H/N, Kara and Y/N" She looked down to the Legion ring on her middle finger, a thought of one day particularly being married to him as her eyes set on her ring finger. A thought ran over her mind what it would be like to stay in the future, with the Legion. It all reminded her of home on Argo, the sister planet of Krypton. "He said he has a huge surprise for me today, since it's my birthday, I spent most of today wearing this new look, wearing the same colors like Kal. I would hate to burst that bubble and leave him behind also, because I can't fathom to live here without him since bringing him here could potentially damage the timestream" she then looked toward Brainiac-5 before walking towards him, her fingers still examining the ring to feel the metal alloy. "And we don't want that, don't we?". "No, unfortunately" the young man replied. "We know him here to be the greatest man that's ever lived, he was one of the reasons the Legion of Superheroes was created, so were you" he finally told her. "That's all I needed to hear" she said with a smile, before sliding off the flight ring, as much as she'd love to keep it. "My head says I belong here... But my heart says the opposite. Perhaps history can be broken, it seems Supergirl does return to the 21st century after all, and rejoins with her loved ones" she then handed Bouncing Boy the ring and returned to stand with John and Oliver.

______________________________________________________________

"Whatever abducted them didn't leave any traceable energy signature" Steel confirmed with his scanner, as Superman then looked toward Y/N who was trying to keep his mind hopeful, but his scouter wasn't giving him any positive feedback either.

"Y/N?".

"Nothing on my scouter either... Damn it all!" he said with a little more frustration. "The surprise was supposed to happen an hour ago and I... I-".

"Don't worry, we'll find them" Superman remained optimistic, keeping his cousin's boyfriend from worrying even more". We could go see Dr Fate, or Zatanna, maybe they could-"

All of a sudden, a loud mechanical like noise erupted loudly throughout the room they were investigating still, the orb had appeared again in a flash of blue energy and within it was John Stewart, Green Arrow and of course...

Supergirl.

As soon as the little bit of smoke cleared, Y/N's eyes laid upon his girlfriend, his eyes widening in pure relief as did hers. "Kara!" His heart raced fast upon seeing her and he rushed up to her, enveloping her in a big hug which she immediately accepted. "You're okay, thank God!"

"Someone sure missed me" she teased before her arms around him tightened.

"John, Oliver, what happened?" Kal asked the two green suited heroes, wondering what really happened to them.

"Well... It's a long story" John told him.

"To put it short. We were transported to the 30th Century by a... Boy, he needed our help freeing his teammates, we helped. You should've seen Kara though, she was amazing. Took a page out of your own book in a way" Oliver told him as Kal looked at her cousin who was currently hugging back Y/N before the two pulled away.

He then smiled at her, before approaching her as the returning 21st birthday girl noticed his approach and smiled.

"Kal" she said with a relieved sigh, hugging him next. The Man of Steel accepted his cousin's hug as he was going to hug her to begin with. "There's a lot to explain".

"I know, I'm just glad you're safe and back here" he smiled before glancing over behind her, seeing Y/N smiling, reaching into a cartridge in his gauntlet, his fingers held a small lead box which had stored a very special ring inside.

Clark smiled and nodded toward Y/N, knowing he should pop the question now, as it should've happened an hour ago.

The question that would make a birthday to remember by...

"I never got to tell you before you zipped away... I'm proud of you, Kara" he told her with a smile growing on both their faces. "But... Not only that. You're a little late but since you're back? I know someone here has a very important question you don't wanna miss" Kal then told her, which she pulled back in confusion.

"What?" she asked. "What do you mean by-" she took a glimpse at Y/N before turning back around as something dawned in her mind as she did, taking note that he was on one knee, holding something. "Wait, Y/N, what're you -?" She turned back around, her cape fluttering behind her as she did before, looking him in the eyes and down to the object he held in his hand as he then flicked up the top of the little box...

Noticing a ring with a small diamond, a diamond that sparkled upon seeing it for the first time. Her jaw dropped, trying to keep composure, feeling as if she was about to burst out in tears realizing what the surprise was really about.

"Y/N... Is this...?" she stuttered, putting her hands over her mouth 

And she wanted him to tell her what it was hours ago, before she was "abducted" by a good Brainiac from the future.

"I... I had a little speech but... I-I-I kinda forgot about it since... You disappeared" Y/N himself felt a lump in his throat, getting a little emotional just thinking about the moment currently as the four men in the room stood by and watched. "I uh... I've been waiting to ask this for a while now, I've been holding onto this ring for, well... Years now, since Mom passed it onto me, knowing she wouldn't need it after Dad passed, it was his last request before he did pass. I wanted to wait until your twenty-first birthday, your cousin and I planned it out..." he told her as tears began running down from Kara's eyes as a few muffled sobs escaped from her. Y/N kept himself strong, fighting back any urge to let a tear fall down from his eyes.

"We've been through so many adventures together since we first met, shared our first kiss in the sky during our first date which was adventurous some would say, from staying overnight with you at the Kents, attending the same school, graduating the same day together, and then all the adventures after that for the last three years. You're like the pillar that keeps everything up in my life, keeps me going and happy. You've saved me more times than I can count than I've saved you and I couldn't possibly be more happier than have you in my life" he croaked a little before chuckling, still keeping his eyes on her as she let more tears fall down. "Kara In-Ze Kent, Supergirl - My Girl of Steel - I have one question..." he paused for a moment as Kara took her hands away from her mouth, his one hand reached out and she held her one hand out for him to hold.

"Y-Y-Yes??" she croaked with more happy tears falling down from her face, using her other hand to wipe the tears away from herself.

"Will you take me as yours forever. Will you marry me, Kara In-Ze Kent?" he asked the question, giving out all his heart out with it as Kara then knelt down to his level with a huge smile and happy tears still falling from her face.

"Yes! Yes!! Yes!!!" she said with an utter outburst of joy, answering his question repeatedly while nodding up and down before the she enveloped him into a deep kiss as the others stood by and watched with a smile.

From this moment on?

Kara surely knew this was a birthday she'd remember, the biggest birthday present she's ever been gifted.

You...

"Best... Birthday... Ever!" she exclaimed, the two standing up now after the deep kiss.

"Congratulations to you both!" Oliver said from the back. "Had a feeling it'd happen someday, you both deserve it! Seriously".

The two took Oliver's compliment as Kara then looked down toward the ring now on her ring finger, Y/N took notice of her observation.

"You like it?" he asked.

"Like it?" she scoffed. "I LOVE it! It was your mom's, I'm honored to wear it!" she corrected him before smiling hugely. "Wait until I tell Babs about this!".

"I'm glad you love it, mom's probably expecting to hear something back by now" he noted.

"You should, I think she'll be worrying that things didn't go to plan originally" Kal suggested.

"Yeah... I should".

"I'll go with!" Kara hugged Y/N arms with pure joy, having just been asked the question. "We can tell her together" she suggested, Y/N couldn't be more than happy to have his now fiancé come with him.

"Sure, Hun! My mom would be happy to see you again!".

With that... They ventured toward the Watchtower's teleporter after saying their goodbyes for the rest of the day towards the four others within the room, the rest of the journey was Supergirl flying her now fiancé towards their actual destination.

Knowing of what happened earlier?

This was something the both would remember...

This was A Birthday to Remember.

______________________________________________________________

Fin...

Word Count: 3592

Tag List: @jacenradio7 @jadenyukiyusakufujikiyutoduelist @rodimusprime2017 @beestriker015 @ma1egamer @6rookie-writer0110 @multi-fandom-enjoyer

[metamorphesque]

Not the anon who asked about the typical lunch but it's very interesting! I live in an area in America that has the largest population of Armenians outside of Armenia so now I'm A) hungry and B) looking forward to trying some things!

Well, my friend, in that case, let me recommend a couple of gems:

I’m sure you’ve already heard of Armenian barbecue (khorovats) and kebab. However, I’m still going to mention them because, vegetarian or not, I’m Armenian hehe.

Dolma – Meat, spices and other ingredients rolled into cabbage or grape leaves. Do yourself a favor and dip this in matsun (sour yogurt) with garlic. Not to toot my own horn, but I’ve been told I make some good dolma.

Pasuc dolma – The vegetable-filled version of traditional meat-filled rolls. Since its recipe is entirely plant-based, it’s a very convenient dish to serve during the fasting period. It is made of 7 different boiled grains, such as beans, lentils, chickpeas, cracked wheat, rice and maize peas (though the recipe can vary). All of the grains mentioned above are then wrapped in pickled cabbage or grape leaves. Pasuc tolma can be served hot or cold. My grandma used to make the best pasuc dolma.

Harissa – A “porridge” made from ground wheat and pulled meat (it can be chicken, lamb, etc.), usually served with butter. It’s especially good in cold weather and pairs well with vodka.

Khash – Now, khash is not your ordinary soup – it’s a whole tradition and a half. Even the toasts are well-defined and announced in a specific order. It even has its own season. Khash season in Armenia begins in late autumn, during the first cold days, and continues until the beginning of spring. The process of preparing khash is quite long and tiring, but the result is worth it. It’s made by boiling bovine shanks for hours until the tendons fall off the bones and the broth becomes thick. Sometimes, cooked stomach pieces are added. No salt is used during cooking, but it is seasoned with salt and crushed garlic once served. Cold vodka, mineral water, radish, pickles, peppers and dry lavash are all served alongside khash. Crushed garlic, greens, cheese, and, of course, salt must also be on the table.

Khashlama – Usually made with lamb and vegetables, the meat is so tender it falls off the bone.

Ghapama – A dish so mouthwatering that there’s a song dedicated to it. Ghapama is prepared by removing the insides of a pumpkin. The top of the pumpkin is cut off, and the ingredients (boiled rice, nuts, and dried fruits) are added inside. The pumpkin is closed on top with the cut lid, wrapped in foil and placed in the oven. Cooking times vary, usually taking from 40 minutes to 1.5 hours. The pumpkin is baked until soft, then served. Before serving, the pumpkin is cut from top to bottom into slices.

Jengyalov hats (Armenian bread with jengyal – greens) - a flatbread filled with about 25 types of greens. The recipe and the variety of greens used differ depending on the region.

բարի ախորժակ!

[acacia-may]

For What It's Worth (Black Clover Fanfic)

A shadow looms over the dining room when the Golden Dawn gathers for the first time after tragedy threatened to destroy them. Even Yuno who has strived to remain emotionally detached feels its bitter sting, but his attempts to push it aside are thwarted as soon as it becomes abundantly clear that a certain flower mage is in desperate need a friend.

OR

Yuno has always considered himself ill-equipped to deal with emotionally charged situations, and, despite Langris' apparent insistence to the contrary, he doubts that he is in any way qualified to act as consoler. He finds, however, that, for Mimosa at least, he is willing to try.

Yuno & Mimosa’s Friendship and Hurt/Comfort. Also, Yuno & Langris’ Friendship and the Golden Dawn as family.

Characters: Yuno (POV Character), Mimosa Vermillion, Langris Vaude, Klaus Lunettes, William Vangeance, and the Golden Dawn (David is mentioned which is important to me)

Relationships: Yuno & Mimosa Friendship, Yuno & Langris Friendship, Yuno & The Golden Dawn Friendship

Genre: Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Dawn as Family, Post-Spade Arc, William Vangeance is a Softie (Change My Mind), and Yuno Can't Feelings But Is Trying His Best.

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Canonical Character Death, Grief, Black Clover Spoilers for the Spade Arc.

Rated: G

Word Count: 2,612

A/N: This fic is the first and only time I ever wrote in Yuno's POV (apologies in advance to all my Yuno enthusiast friends. I hope I've done him justice 😅). I mentioned this fic in an answer to a recent ask and realized I never cross-posted it to Tumblr. After rereading it on AO3, I thought it was deserving of a home here too. I hope you all enjoy it.

Link to Work on AO3. Full Text Below the Cut. Thank you for reading!

With a sigh, Yuno pushed the food around his plate. It looked delicious—far more decadent than anything he had experienced growing up in Hage Village where most meals consisted of only potatoes. Yuno sighed again. That seemed so long ago now, and so much had happened since then leaving Yuno feeling hardened and weary—old, his mind finished for him.

He placed his fork at the side of his plate. He didn’t feel like eating.

Neither did many of his squad mates, it seemed, as the dining table was filled with picked over plates of food. Klaus, who was seated to his right, had barely touched his besides to take a few bites of steamed green beans and Yuno couldn’t help but wonder if that was only to be polite.

The seat to Yuno’s left was vacant as was the seat to Klaus’ right, but place settings had been laid out in front of them anyway. The sight made Yuno’s stomach churn, and the quiet conversations of his squad mates faded as Yuno’s gaze drifted to the many untouched place settings and empty chairs around their table. His chest grew tight, and he swallowed hard.

Klaus gently nudged his elbow as he reached for a knife and gave him a sympathetic smile before returning to his green beans. David’s voice carried from the other end of the table telling a story not nearly as exuberantly as Yuno had heard it before. Directly across from him, Langris pursed his lips together and grabbed for his glass of wine. He met Yuno’s eyes with a slight tilt of his head. Yuno knew he was thinking the same thing. They all were. 

It was the first time the Golden Dawn had shared a meal together since rescuing Captain Vangeance from Spade, and it was palpably quieter than it had been before. Something twisted in Yuno’s chest as he remembered some of the meals they had shared together in a past that was growing more and more distant—the clanging of glasses as Hamon made a toast; the applause as Shiren stepped in to cut generous portions of turkey for everyone; the raucous laughter and friendly conversation. Now there were only hushed tones, the sounds of silverware scraping against fine china, and a somber pall hovering over the dining room.  

Langris coughed drawing Yuno’s attention. His look conveyed more sympathy than any words and asked ‘Are you alright?’ Choosing not to think too deeply about the question, Yuno nodded with a slight shrug of his shoulders. Langris’ face softened, but he gave him a brisk nod before pointedly tilting his head towards Mimosa who was seated on his right. Though she stared intently at her plate, her gaze was glossy as if she wasn’t staring at anything at all. She hadn’t appeared to have eaten anything.

Langris looked back at Yuno then to Mimosa then to Yuno again. Yuno did much the same and they continued their nonverbal back-and-forth until Langris, seemingly exasperated with Yuno’s blank blinking, sighed and met his eyes with a pointed look that screamed ‘she’s your friend.’ Yuno sighed. He supposed he had always been closer to Mimosa than Langris was but that did not mean that Mimosa wasn’t Langris’ friend too. Yuno decided now was not the time to argue about this, however, and conceded that, yes, even though he still wasn’t entirely sure why Mimosa had adopted him as a friend in the first place, she certainly was now and he should probably do something—anything, his mind corrected—to help her. The only problem was, of course, that he had no idea what that ‘something’ or ‘anything’ was.

With a wish and prayer that the words would eventually come to him if he just started talking, Yuno cleared his throat. “Um…Mimosa?” 

It took her more than a few seconds to look up. Something panged in Yuno’s chest at the sight of her usually laughing eyes so dulled by grief.  “Yes?” she asked.

“Um…” Yuno’s mind suddenly went blank as she gave him the slightest most heartbreaking bittersweet smile. It was then that he noticed something glistening in the corners of her eyes. His heart sank. She was blinking back tears. 

Panicking more than he cared to admit, he glanced over at Langris who merely offered him a look that said, ‘Why in the world are you looking at me of all people?’ before he reached for his wine again with a bitter shake of his head. Yuno supposed Langris had a point. As much as Yuno had never considered himself adept with feelings due to his generally blunt and standoffish demeanour, Langris was much the same way and had insisted time and time again that he was cold, callous, and utterly ill-equipped to deal with these kinds of emotionally-charged situations. In other words, Yuno presumed, he was likely feeling just as helpless.

“Um…” Yuno repeated. “Are you…?”—his heartbeat pounded in his ears and something twisted in his stomach—“feeling okay?” The words felt stiff and unnatural as they fell out of his mouth.

Mimosa turned away from him abruptly but nodded. “Just not very hungry…”

Yuno swallowed hard at the pitiful hitch in her voice, and Langris having reached the bottom of his wine glass tilted his head towards Klaus, presumably suggesting that he would be better at handling this than either of them. In his best attempt to do so without appearing like a backwoods bumpkin from Hage or alerting Mimosa who was once again staring at her plate, Yuno gently nudged him with his elbow.

Klaus turned to him in confusion before Yuno tilted his head just slightly in Mimosa’s direction. “Are you alright, Mimosa?” he asked immediately with an ease that both baffled and impressed Yuno and, judging by his expression, Langris as well.  

Mimosa’s cheeks flushed almost as if she was embarrassed. “I’m fine,” she stumbled in an obvious lie. 

“Can I get you anything?” asked Langris who, Yuno presumed must have finally felt compelled to at least try something. 

“Um…maybe some butter, please?”

Dishes and silverware clanged as Langris, Klaus, and Yuno all bumped into each other reaching for the nearby butter dish at the same time. The room grew thick with silence, and Yuno became painfully aware of where all of his companions had suddenly turned their attention. A faint blush filled Langris’ cheeks despite his stern frown, and Klaus flushed as he cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses, which had been left askew in the kerfuffle. Yuno who had managed to reach the butter dish first, simply blinked at his squad mates before turning back to Mimosa and handing her the butter she had requested.

Her mouth had twitched in the corners though her blush had deepened. “I’m sorry, she whispered. “I didn’t want to cause…”

“Well, now that I have everyone’s attention,” said Captain Vangeance clearing his throat and, Yuno presumed, kindly trying to save them any further embarrassment while having no idea he had cut off Mimosa. Everyone turned to their Captain and raised their glasses as he tapped his for a toast. 

“I know this has been an incredibly difficult time for everyone. I don’t have to tell you all how hard it is to look around this table at all of the empty places and to think of all of the people who couldn’t be here with us tonight." As the Captain paused, Yuno’s eyes burned. Across the table from him, Langris stared at his glass and Mimosa’s fingers gripped the butter dish until her knuckles turned white. “Even though they may not eat at this table, they will always be a part of this squad.” Captain Vangeance’s voice hitched, and Yuno could have almost sworn he heard him sniffle, but he couldn’t bring himself to look up from his plate. “And as I look around at all of you here—my comrades and my friends—I am reminded of what an honor and a privilege it is to serve as your captain and I know that the Golden Dawn will endure���—he raised his glass—“To the Golden Dawn.”

“To the Golden Dawn,” repeated Yuno in unison with the rest of the table. As he held his glass to his lips, he noticed Mimosa hurriedly folding her napkin and rising from her seat, quietly excusing herself. Yuno’s stomach dropped as he caught sight of the tears which broke free of her desperate attempts to dry her eyes. He swallowed hard and watched her leave the dining room before he exchanged equally concerned glances with Klaus and Langris. Before either of them could say anything, however, Yuno’s body seemed to move on its own and he stood up from his chair.

Klaus tilted his head and Langris quirked an eyebrow at him, but Yuno somehow managed a reassuring nod that he could only hope conveyed, ‘I’ll go talk to her.’

*-*-*

Yuno found Mimosa sitting alone in the courtyard illuminated only by the light of the moon. Her shoulders were shaking as she buried her head in her hands. Yuno felt that familiar pang in his chest as he realized she was crying.

He stopped in his tracks unsure of what he should do. If he was being honest with himself, he hadn’t thought this far ahead. Leaving the dining room after her had been an impulsive thing—something Asta would do, he thought with a tilt of his head and the slightest twitch in the corners of his mouth—and he hadn’t given the slightest thought as to what he would do or what he would say when he finally caught up to her. What would Asta do if he was here instead, Yuno wondered.

For the next several moments, Yuno contemplated walking up to Mimosa and offering her some motivational pep talk about ‘never giving up’, giving the idea much more consideration than he knew that he should have. Mimosa probably didn’t need reassurance—she probably just needed a friend.

“Oh, Yuno?” she asked as she finally noticed him standing there. She wiped at her eyes, not that it made much of difference. He already knew she had been crying.

“Hey,” he said taking a seat next to her. “You okay?”

Mimosa nodded though her tearstained face and bloodshot eyes said otherwise. “Yeah…um…I just needed some air…”

Yuno blinked at her obvious lie. “Everybody’s worried about you,” he said in his blunt, matter-of-fact way, and Mimosa’s face blushed a beet red.

“I’m sorry,” she said twisting her hands. “I didn’t mean to worry anybody.”

Yuno shrugged. “It’s no problem. We’re your squad.”

Mimosa whimpered, and her shoulders began to shake again.

“Hey, please don’t cry,” he said—the even tone of his voice not at all reflective of his level of concern at seeing her cry again. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized frantically swiping at the tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry. I just can’t stop thinking about—” Her voice hitched as if the words were getting tangled in the back of her throat. Yuno swallowed and nodded. She didn’t need to finish.

“I know,” he said softly. “Me too.”

“It’s all my fault,” cried Mimosa, no longer even trying to stop her tears.

“No, it’s not. It’s Zenon and his generals’ fault for attacking our base.” The words felt as forced and mechanical as they did when he told them to himself over and over, and he knew better than anyone that they were going to do very little to make her feel better.  

“But I wasn’t even here,” Mimosa argued. “If I was, maybe I could’ve saved them.”

“Mimosa…”

“You saw what happened at the end of our battle in Spade,” she cut him off with a forcefulness that almost startled him—it was so unlike her. “All those people—they almost died…”

“And they would have if it wasn’t for you,” Yuno interjected.

Mimosa caught her breath—swiping at the tears cascading down her cheeks, and the words tumbled out of her mouth so quickly Yuno struggled to keep up with them. “But that’s the point isn’t it? If I could save Captain Yami and Gadjah and Nacht and all of those other people, why couldn’t I save Shiren or Hamon or the rest of our squad? They needed me, and I wasn’t there. If I was, I could’ve saved their lives too.”

“You don’t know that…”

“Yes, I do,” she argued curling her hands into fists.

“No, you don’t.” Heat rose in Yuno’s chest. He could hear it infecting his words as he spoke. “If you had been here, they would’ve just killed you too. We all would’ve died if it wasn’t for Captain Vangeance’s magic—back then…back then, there was nothing any of us could do.” As Yuno’s words echoed through the courtyard he wondered if he was speaking more to Mimosa or to himself. She must have been wondering the same thing because she turned to stare at him with kind and sympathetic eyes.

He turned away from her with a sigh. “Listen,” he said. “I know it’s hard not to second guess yourself. You’re an amazing mage, and you have incredible power—but this was not your battle to fight.”

Mimosa huffed and stood up from her seat—a fire and determination in her eyes that Yuno wasn’t used to. “I’m as much a part of the Golden Dawn as you. If my squad was fighting for their lives, I should have been there.”

“If you had died there, nobody you saved in Spade would’ve survived. Nobody, Mimosa,” said Yuno bluntly. His face softened. “And I know that’s not what our fallen comrades would’ve wanted.”

Mimosa sighed and took her seat again. She wiped at her eyes, but her shoulders had stopped shaking. After what felt like an eternity, she finally conceded in a small, quiet voice, “You’re right.”

Yuno felt no satisfaction in having won the argument. He certainly didn’t feel like a winner as he gave her a curt nod, and they sat side-by-side in the courtyard as she quietly cried—Yuno’s own eyes burning all the while with tears held back only by sheer force of will. He wasn’t sure how long they had sat there when he felt her hand brush up against his. He took it—giving it a gentle squeeze as if to remind her that he was still here, for whatever that was worth. When she squeezed his hand back, he wondered if she wanted him to know the same.

The words began to tumble out before he could stop them though they were so quiet he wasn’t sure she could even hear him. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad you weren’t there…” His voice trailed. “I don’t think I could’ve lost you.”

Mimosa sniffled, and Yuno turned to her with wide, concerned eyes. How had he made her cry again?

He was wondering how he could take back what he had said when she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a hug. “I don’t think I could’ve lost you, either,” she said as she pressed her chin to his shoulder. 

Yuno’s eyes widened, but before he could even begin to process what was happening, she pulled away from him again. Though her eyes were teary, she smiled at him.

“Thanks, Yuno,” she said before she sniffled and wiped her eyes. 

“Are you ready to go back in?” he asked.

“I’m ready if you are,” she said as she slipped her hand into his.

Yuno sighed with relief and nodded at her before they walked back into the dining room hand-in-hand.

[batsyx]

OK some interesting things to note because there is so much to unpack here:

- 8:08 time mark, Deathstroke and Waller talk about metahumans and how the whole invasion was lucky for her because she’s got the supers in her pocket. He says something about how they say Wonder Woman was molded from clay by the gods and that she “might wanna keep an eye on that”. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Are the gods gunna come after Waller? Could the gods bring Diana back? Resculpt her from clay?

- 15:08 time mark, Freeze talks to Waller about the “clone theory” where she hypothesizes that the League we did battle with are actually clones of the originals, based on Lex’s notes from the “corrupted” Batman and the DNA from the recovered Flash and Green Lantern. WHOOP THERE IT IS. So it’s official then, they’re gunna bring back Superman and Batman in the last episode. While I am overjoyed to know Batman will return, it really makes everything that happened in the first game meaningless. Wonder Woman’s death? Pointless. All the emotional heft from the story is gone. The ridiculous Batman death scene seems laughable now. And then to bring them all back in the DLCs feels cheap as fuck. I can’t help but wonder if they really meant to keep them dead but then when the backlash hit, they quickly reworked some parts of the story and decided to bring the League back in the DLC. It all feels so rushed and if Batman comes back and we get like 1 min scene of him saying one line……Im gunna be upset. I think we’re owed more than that, Rocksteady! Waller tells Freeze to deliver the findings of her report to her and to keep it “my eyes only”. She’s keeping it a secret from the rest of the Squad for now but Freeze had got to spill the beans somehow! THIS IS HUGE NEWS!

- I think the Clone Theory 1-3 segments are all worth listening to. The implications of them actually saving the original members of the League made my ears perk up because Freeze was saying how restoring their memories could cause disastrous cognitive dissonance in the future. 👀

- Squad Conversation: Second Acts 1-5 we get to more Joker fun! Joker and Ivy are pals now. He gifted her a switchblade! I did a double take when Ivy said to Joker “You mean what we have in common is we used to be special frenemies with Harleen and the Batman.” SPECIAL FRENEMIES!?!? Ivy may be a literal child but I love that she still remembers that Joker was super “infatuated” with Batman.

AND THEN THIS LITTLE FUN BIT!

Barely hit it off with his Bats? That makes me sad! It also deviates from what I wrote in my fic but thats ok lol. This Joker talking in his sleep makes total sense. It’s certainly a useful nugget of information I may or may not use down the line. 🙃🙂 BTW HERES A SHAMELESS PLUG FOR MY SSKTJL FIC: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60083872/chapters/153308584

AND THEN THIS PART!

HE’S LONELY. OF COURSE HE IS. HE DOESN’T HAVE BATMAN! 😭

Freeze has a talk with Ivy about her new friend:

I’d like to think Joker is using this Brainiac apocalypse as a way of pursuing his own fulfilling journey to self discovery ala “Eat, Pray, Love”.

Next month is the last episode of the current season and then the game will be truly over, for the story mode at least. I can’t believe it took a WHOLE ASS YEAR for them to end this god awful thing. All the squandered potential of this game and for it to be Kevin Conroys last hurrah as Batman makes me weep.

[lazulirus]

Supernatural

• Ayato was making you feel as if you were a yokai or other supernatural being - always charmed by your act, yet you were the one that always went back to him. 

• Pairing: Kamisato Ayato x reader (female) • Genre: fluff, suggestive  • Word Count: 4.8k • Warnings: Power imbalance (waitress and client; commoner and nobility) mentions of drinking, suggestive parts but nothing explicit • Note: based on song Supernatural by Barns Courtney

One last time, let you back into my head

“Good evening, Commissioner. The usual?” The teahouse was Yashiro’s Commissioner’s new favourite spot. It was one of the oldest ones, known for hosting only the highest-ranking clients, both from Inazuma and the mainland before and after the times of closed borders. Commissioner's taste changed suddenly; for the owners it was a blessing, for sellers of Milk Tea Medley it was a curse, for you… you weren’t sure, something in the middle. You liked him as a client. He wasn’t hard to deal with and didn’t require a lot of going back and forth with constantly ordering more snacks and teas, but on the other hand…

“Yes, I hope you’ll keep me company once more?” Usually, the company of teahouse workers was limited to standing by the door, on the corridor, waiting for an order from the clients. The Commissioner had… different ideas on what ‘company’ meant.

“Ah, poor little… Sucrose, was it?” He turns your card face to the table, hiding the adorable green-haired girl whose HP fell to zero. In Kamisato’s mind, keeping company meant playing card games with him over tea and snacks. It shouldn’t be a thing worth raising eyebrows for - it would be hard for a man of his status to make a friend, let alone one with similar interests. Seeking out company from a waitress was the safest option for him, and you didn’t mind, as the hours went by quicker that way, and your employers were happy to pay you more. They would do anything to keep the Commissioner coming back with his money and bringing renown to the establishment. The thing was… “Well then, which snacks do you want to try first?”

By Commissioner’s rule, the loser had to be fed with a random snack of the winner's choosing, to his great amusement, despite how many times you did that, your roles of loser and winner never changed. He also wanted only you as his waitress, to the point the room assigned to you was always vacant on Fridays and Sundays, in a chance Commissioner would come - if you weren’t available, he would go somewhere else.

He could go anywhere he wanted, and yet, somehow, he always ended up in your mind.

His chopsticks right by your mouth, yokan leaving a sweet taste on your lips. “If you guess if it’s Neri or Mizu, I might consider another game of cards.” No matter how many times he did this trick, it always made warmth spread onto your face. There were many things you couldn’t talk about outside your job - the topics your clients spoke about, who and when made a reservation and that the Lord Kamisato found a new hobby of feeding you sweets with your eyes closed and seeing your reactions.

You knew that the easiest way out of the Commissioner's grasp was to not play his games at all. To press your lips in a thin line and suggest, once again like during the first times he came to the teahouse, that you were a mere waitress.

The sweet taste of red bean melts on your tongue way slower than you expected, and the texture was rather firm - Neri… - something crunches in your mouth. “Kuri yokan, isn’t it?”

But you could never get the Commissioner's sly smile out of your head.

High off everything you said

At some point, you started to suspect yourself of being part yokai. Maybe not an oni, but for sure something supernatural - what else could explain the way Lord Kamisato acted around you?

“The new hairstyle… your hairdresser certainly knows how to bring out the best.”

“You have a good eye for kimonos, maybe you would like to accompany my sister on shopping someday?”

“Are you ready to go?”

You glance at the Commissioner as you put on your hanten; the evenings got way colder recently. That day, he came later than usual, and despite his stay not being long, he left with the closing of the teahouse. His attire was elegant, the refined white not matching the browns of your clothes, even his umbrella was holding more elegance than you. Despite that, he was eager to walk with you.

“Sir Commissioner…” You mumbled, not even being able to look anywhere else; Ayato’s bright colours attracted your gaze from the darkness of the late evening. “I’m honoured but… there is no need.” Not even one droplet of rain managed to stain your clothes before the umbrella of the Commissioner became yours as well.

“And I’m not going out of my way.” He assured you with a smile. The tiniest shake of its corner suggested that he was excited; the umbrella forced you to stand so close. “I’ll go through Hanamizaka anyway, walking you back home is just a pleasant addition.”

You wanted to protest, your lips already open, but you catch yourself wordless… The evening was dark, and the Commissioner could protect you both from the possible danger of the city and the rain. As you close your lips in silent defeat, Lord Kamisato simply smiles. Your walk was rather slow. First time in forever, you were able to take your time and awe at the dark Inazuma City; the lanterns giving such a warm ambient, at the electro petals sparkling in the distance. While you wondered how such petals would feel against your skin, the Commissioner wondered how soft it would be against his touch. 

“Your hanten is rather pretty.” You raise your eyebrows, not expecting a Lord to admire such a simple jacket. You weren’t surprised at his sudden comment though, you knew that the Commissioner disliked silence between you two. “Although it does lack a mon,” But why would your hanten have a family crest…? “How do you fancy camellia flowers?” That man will be the death of you and your feeble heart.

Well, it's not so bad, I can't be mad at white, white lies

“I wanted to ask you for a long time, Commissioner.” You asked one day as you poured green tea into his cup. The cards were put onto the floor right next to the table; the freeze team containing cards of Commissioner himself and Lady Kamisato was proudly waiting for today’s battle. Your deck of adorable girls and their deadly summons was waiting right next to it, awaiting the chance to question Kamisato’s authority. “Why do you only want me as your waitress?”

Ayato looks up from the novel you brought him: After I got killed by a hydro slime, I was reincarnated into the Yashiro Commissioner - what do you mean I lost my hydro vision?! was truly an… fascinating read. Although he couldn’t understand where the idea of him and Lady Yae came from. He also couldn’t understand why you would ask such a thing. In his mind, the answer was so obvious he didn’t expect you to ask.

“Thoma recommended you.”

“I would prefer a more honest answer.” You say bluntly, knowing that his housekeeper only met you on a few occasions, you doubted that Thoma knew a thing about you. For sure he never visited the teahouse, at least not for himself - Thoma’s only visits were hours before the Commissioners’ to make sure you were available. Ayato chuckles as his fingers skip through the pages.

“Gaining intelligence was way harder than I expected,” His voice, one that you loved so much to listen to, perfectly added all the emotions to the text, yet you found it very annoying this time. “Standing right in front of Liyue’s secret intelligence agent, her fingers mere millimetres away from her bow, I knew that I couldn’t allow myself to make even one mistake. Her golden eyes were beautiful, like a sun that could burn me into nothingness. How could I predict if she lied? Lies, truth, half-truths, it all seemed so easily identifiable as a normal man, but the deeper I fell into the spider web of politics, the more I realised I couldn’t even trust what was right or left. Right then and there, I realised that if I wanted to survive as the Commissioner, I had to make her want to tell me the truth; to bargain  - not only for information but also my life.” He ends the reading by bookmarking the page and closing the book. To his surprise, you had a scowl on your face, and Ayato couldn’t help but comment with airy laughter:

“What’s wrong? Wasn’t reading today your idea?” Ayato was giddy, you got used to noticing the smallest changes in him - the way his eyes got more focused on your face when he expected a reaction, not only on eyes or mouth but jumping from one part to another, wanting to catch the second you process his banter. The best way to win the Commissioner’s games was to not play at all or change the rules.

“Oh, it was.” You say as you sit down on the opposite side of the table, your hand taking the book; he doesn’t protest. “But I hoped you would read a more interesting fragment. I heard that a lot of girls were swooning over this part.” You take a sip of the tea, in your emotions; the adrenaline from challenging Ayato’s game, you don’t notice you took his cup. He smiles and proceeds to take a sip just after you. “He was an adorable little man, so full of himself, but his schemes were always predictable. When he took a step, I already took four and had time to make one back, just to see how he was doing. He was cute with his sly smiles and smooth words, but I liked him the most when he was panting like dogs he adored so much. When the muscles of his toned stomach were bending, going tense and loosening under my fingertips as he pleaded so sweetly for… for release. When… um… well… Anyway, uh… people liked Lady “Yae’s” point of view… ” Your voice dies slowly and pathetically as you look at the table, too ashamed to look at Ayato after what you just read. Instead of embarrassing him, you embarrassed yourself.

“...Did you like that part as well?” You lost the game, the fight and even the whole war when you couldn’t hide your blush. You had no bravery to look up and claim your victory; Ayato for that quick moment was also red in the face, maybe even more flustered than you. The book and its content weren’t a problem - you were. Hearing such words and opinions about, well, technically himself, falling so bravely from your lips, only to get meek and shy the dirtier it got… Thanks Archon, he had more self-control than foolish desire.

You mumble something about bringing the wagashi he ordered, and before you could slide the door behind you, Ayato catches your attention:

“Since you… amused me so greatly, it made me want to tell you a bit of the truth.” You turn around to see an already composed Commissioner, not a thing that could give out what your eyes missed.

“But isn’t that obvious?” He tilts his head so adorably that it makes your heart skip a beat. “Only tea served by your hands tastes so good.” Ayato truly loved half-truths.

Got your hands all over my body, but you're actin' like you don't want me

You didn’t know how you two ended up like this, tangled in each other's limbs, sharing the flavours of different sake between your mouths. Hands grabbing and groping every surface of each other's bodies, pulling and tugging till Ayato was without at least a few layers of his outfit, while your kimono was slightly undone.

“You’re… unbearable…” You mumble as quietly as possible, not wanting even a mouse outside of Komore Teahouse to hear you. Worry and guilt get lost in lust, as Ayato works on your kimono, pulling lower and lower till he has more canvas to work on with his mouth. Poor, starved man waited for so many dates, so many outings to make a mess of your skin, to finally feel its softness; explore deeper than a peck on the lips or warmth of your cheek.

“I really… shouldn’t… fall for your pleas…” Ayato’s words were cut every time he couldn’t stop himself and laid another kiss on your heated skin. So confident and words so sharp, yet not as sharp as his teeth that littered your skin with the timidest bitemarks. The kind that would fade away after a few minutes, as he didn’t dare to mark your skin, let alone break it.  

“But since you asked so nicely~” Liar. Awful, silver-tongued liar. He was the one that lost composure first, who just couldn’t stop his hands from wandering to your knee, then your thigh; shyly, like a boy’s first experience, but his eyes told a different story. Those beautiful violet eyes, now as dark as far far away Seirai Island’s storm. And just like a storm with its raging lightning and roaring thunder, Ayato wanted to consume you whole. To not let even an inch of you dry, to make you feel like a thunderbolt was going through your body.

His dignity was only in his words, as his actions spoke of a desperate man.

“Ayato…” He never expected that his own name could hold such power over him as long as it was falling from your lips. The Commissioner, Lord Kamisato, none sounded as beautiful as simple, breathless Ayato. With that one word, he was under your command, to be as generous as to fulfil your desires. Even if his hands wandered first, you were already looking at him shyly. Even if he was first to lean in for a kiss, you were the one pressing your thighs together. Those arguments were thrown between his giggles and your huffs, till you shut him up with a kiss so full of teeth and anger it left him panting.

“I’ll be so kind as to indulge you.”

Oh, what a shame, your spirit never left. You couldn’t get Ayato out of your mind. He made it his home, coloured every thought with his purples and whites, and changed every opinion and desire - when you looked at cherry blossoms, you thought they weren’t as pretty as camellias, fruit tea left you longing for the kind bitterness of green tea.

You were in control and yet you felt like something else was guiding your feet. A stroll to gather herbs, yet you end up in your and Ayato’s secret spot. A quick walk in Tenryou ends by the shops Ayato mentioned to like or those from where your presents came from. Kimonos, hair decorations, even sweets… Not once or twice did the shopkeepers give you a confused look as you stood by the displays, staring at things you obviously couldn’t afford. During some nights you couldn’t help but wonder, as you lay in your bed, how would it feel to have Ayato by your side. To have his hand wrapped around your stomach, his chest pressing into your back. Even after sunset, he refused to leave you alone, to let you fall asleep instead of feeling his fingers on your arms, his lips on your neck - memories and desires creating a ghost. Teasing and giggling, till you couldn’t take it anymore.

“Where are you going?” Your mother asked as you packed a few clothes in the morning.

“...Lady Kamisato wanted me to stay a few days at their estate, we got closer recently.” A ghost that imitated his touch and edged you to lie just like him.

Possessed me like a demon made to worship at your bed.

All the decorations, all the elegant ornaments all over the room merge into splashes of colours and shapes. All in dark purples and shy blues, golden lines disappearing in the shaded corners of the room. They were nothing more than an unwanted distraction, although a beautiful one, from the thing you came for. 

Ayato's bluish hair was standing out, like a candle that despite being scorching hot, you keep reaching out, wanting to get burnt if it meant being by him. 

You get blind on anything else, anything that wasn't Ayato being only black dots in your vision. Beautiful man, but so cruel to blind you on anything else in your life. Unable to focus on anything but how his chest raised with his every uneven breath; excited, lips twitching, trying to keep only the tiniest smile. It was so hard to keep composure when he loved the view you have been giving him. Kneeling at the edge of his bed, not daring to even touch the soft sheets, instead resting your cheek on his bare thigh.

"Don't be shy, go on."

I must be out my mind. You thought as you walked through the festival, the sweetness of the mochi unable to calm your nerves. What were you thinking? Ayato… The Commissioner was not a man in your reach. The only person standing higher than him was Raiden Shogun and maybe Guuji Yae, it was laughable to imagine that such a man had greater plans for a teahouse worker than a fleeting adventure. Despite that, you couldn’t stop yourself, like a butterfly being led into a flytrap. No, something even less, like an already picked flower thrown on the stove, to be burned in flames of Ayato’s desire - you don't feel in control, being led by a hand that also guides you to your doom in flames.

Your eyes cross with the violets of his, the murmur of the crowd slowing in favour of your accelerating heartbeats. In Ayato’s eyes, you radiated the most when in the blaze.

Any cost to watch you cross just one last line

"Ah— Ayato!" Your nails dug into his kimono, one seemingly so thin and light, but protecting him from your attacks as strong as a kitten's claws. The man only hums, not wanting to part from your neck that was already blooming in an array of red and purples; the lower, the more. His whole body itching to claim more, to bite just a bit higher, suck just a tad harder.

"We—" Muffled words between lips, the sweetness of mochi mixing with the bitterness of whatever Ayato was eating before finding you. Bittersweet, nothing could explain your relationship better, although, for Ayato, you were the bitterness - messing with his mind, making him act like a boy who tasted alcohol for the first time. Addicted, craving, knowing that he shouldn't, but after the taste fades, longing for the bitterness to once again hurt in the sweetest way. To wake up again and again with his head pounding and cursing his bad decisions.

His gloved hands were crumpling up the material of your clothes; the blue flowers being distorted by the wrinkles. How Ayato craved to get rid of that annoying kimono, despite being beautiful, exactly what he ordered, now he couldn't stand it. The beauty of it was hiding the true gem underneath. Not allowing him to feel the warm skin of your waist, leave prints on your hips or, if you asked kindly enough, skim his fingertips across your beasts.

"We… Really shouldn't, if someone sees you…"

Despite saying it, your hands are like chains around his neck. Nails now scraping his neck, biting into the delicate skin of his head; his deep moan resonates with your trembling heart. Fireworks take away the attention from an innocent alleyway and hide the gasps of lovers. “Making me act like a fool…” Ayato finally mumbles, his lips clumsily trying to catch yours, and you almost didn’t hear him with the loudness of the festival. Oh, how he adored and hated that about you, your innocent charm, you pulling him in like some supernatural being.

Yeah, if you want me let me know. You're terrifyin' beautiful.

Recently, your relationship with Ayato went stale, in his opinion, both of you were to blame, for you; only him. All his sweet words and soft touches couldn’t stop your doubt - you can ignore a wound so long as it doesn't make you bleed out dry. You wanted to think that your love for one another made you unstoppable, but with Ayato’s secretary of your late meetings and sweet kisses becoming stronger than weaker, you started to doubt it.

Maybe it was time to move on.

“I’m so glad you came with me!” Hizashi smiles by your side. A cute man, his personality more of an energetic dog than a sly cat, from a well-known martial art clan - no wonder such a man wanted to take part in Warrior's Spirit. How could you say no to that smile when he offered you a ticket to visit the spectacle and, possibly, his victory. “I heard that Lady Kamisato will take part in this year’s competition! It would be an honour to fight beside her.”

“Ah, I certainly have heard that Kamisato’s clan blade technique is amazing.” Ayato was more than happy to show you some of the sequences; you still remembered how his gloved hands felt against yours as he helped you handle a sword. “I can’t imagine myself getting into that, though.”

“That’s understandable! Martial art is not for everyone, but I’ll gladly do that hard work if it means… well… you’ll see my matches today.” His smile was childish and wide, even a bit of blush decorating his cheeks, you smile back; it doesn’t reach your eyes.

“Oh?” A regular rhythm of elegant shoes hitting the pavement; the air gets more dry. “I see I found one of the competitors.” Ayato slides into the conversation elegant as ever, composed and calm but his vision was blinking angrily. As his gaze moves from the man's sword to the hand on your shoulder, he wondered what exact competition Hizashi was taking part in. Both of you bow to him.

“Good evening, Commissioner.” Ayato wanted to scoff and shut your mouth for daring to call him like that after everything you two went through. After all, you put him through - taking days off only on days he had time to visit the teahouse, not answering letters, sending Thoma away. Your only saving grace was not daring to turn down Ayaka on your regular outings, though even she didn’t bring him back any useful information. Ayato answers with a nod before turning his attention to you.

“I would like to talk to you, in private.”

“What would the Commissioner need from me?” You say innocently, and Ayato curses himself on how his character rubbed off on you. How you knowingly try to put him in a situation where he had to bend to your demands, voice his more honest thoughts in front of others or lose. Or so you thought.

“I would like to discuss something regarding Ayaka,” you were sly, but nothing more than a kitten trying out its claws, “since you’re her dear friend, I’m sure you would be able to help me with—”

“I’m sure it can wait after the competition.” You had more pettiness than judgement, for once straightly refusing to play Commissioner’s games. “As you can see, I’m rather busy at the moment.” The tiniest raise of your head, a challenge.

“If it’s not a problem, my Lord,” Hizashi chimes in with enough respect to not break social standards but not bowing his head nor appearing meek, “I wanted to show her a bit of my swordsmanship before the competition starts. If your request could be—”

“I’ll gladly help,” Ayato says so suddenly it shocked all three of you. He wants to take those words back. A hundred excuses were already swarming in his head as to what he meant; he could back off any second. But his hand already rests on the hilt of his sword, as he had to muster all his composure to not drill holes with his stare into the defiling hand resting on your lower back. For a moment, Ayato forgets about appearance and what he ‘supposed’ and ‘not supposed’ to do, all he cared about was what he ‘wanted’ to do. “You also wish to gain the reward of fighting alongside my sister, no? An opportunity to test your skills against me and to show your swordsmanship, isn’t that killing two birds with one stone?”

And as metal clashes against metal, Hizashi’s concentrated face breaks and shatters revealing consternation or even fear - Ayato’s attacks don't stop. After countering one, there were another three incoming, and not even one of his strikes could even reach a hair on Ayato’s head. Ruthless, although elegant in his movements, his slashes were brutal, driven by something more primal rather than the need for respectful sparring.

The young man was laying on the ground, not even a droplet of sweat was able to sneak between his neck and the tip of Ayato’s sword. Irrational fear blooms in his mind as he can’t see any sympathy in Commissioner’s eyes, something more akin to disgust swirling in the violet - was he going to die here? A deep breath in. An even deeper exhale. Ayato’s sword disappears in golden dust and specks of light.

“I wish you the best of luck.” A kind comment said in a neutral manner, but it was better than the animosity that was brooding within him. Ayato walks back to you and his hand lingers way longer on yours as you give him back the hydro vision you guarded for the sake of a fair fight. Seeing the satisfaction twinkling in his eyes as he glances back on shocked Hizashi, you doubted it was a fair fight with or without gods’ blessing. Somehow, you never noticed that under all the plotting and scheming was a man of truly terrifying strength. One that instead of pulling away, twists his hand to intertwine his fingers with yours; the vision, the core of his being and ambitions, and desires stuck between.

“I need to talk to you.”

One with a shaky voice, almost crossing on begging, and those beautiful violet eyes pleading for mercy; to either stop your charm or let him fix whatever was broken. All those unsaid words hidden in gestures that pull you right back in.

I do believe (I do believe) “Dear-!” Your mother scolds her husband, only one word holding a hundred sentences you were yet to decrypt. Your father, red in the face from irritation, scoffs but listens; his anger mixing with the worry of your mother.

“Oh my, what a bold accusation.” Ayato was none; not worried about their opinions nor angry at their accusation. To say that the Yashiro Commissioner was fooling around with their precious daughter… Truly, your father was an amusing man - so creative with his choice of words! - and you could see how entertained Ayato was from how his lips bent - the one specific way, seemingly polite, but not reaching his eyes which held a childish shine.

“I… apologise, my Lord.” Your father admits. “But this is no official visit, like many others, so I want to ask you as a young man visiting my daughter, not as Lord Kamisato.” His forehead was covered with sweat, knowing that he was on thin ice; it was too late to return, the ice behind him already melting. “What are your plans for my daughter?” You twitch when you feel his hand sneaking to yours, his fingers coiling against your hand like a snake. So shamelessly, so boldly, in full view of your parents; Ayato’s favourite game of seeing how far he could go. One squeeze, two; do you trust me?

Mercy on me (Mercy on me)

“I wouldn’t call it fooling around,” Ayato loves the way the two squirms, looking uncomfortably at each other as he repeats the unfortunate words, “although she did make me act like a fool on several occasions.” Your mother chuckles awkwardly, as you can only plead Ayato with your eyes to end his games. To show some mercy, if not to you then towards your parents.

“I actually came here today to ask you for your blessing for our marriage. Isn’t that right, my dear?” Ayato looks at you, living for the shock in your eyes and your mouth just slightly open; enough to amuse him, but not enough to show your parents you were completely blindsided. The topic of marriage never appeared between you, even his mentions of the proposal ended in nothing more than your flustered self as him kissing your ring finger.

Now, he waited for your answer with the angelic smile of a lovesick man, his excitement barely able to be contained; eyes zooming from your eyes to your lips to any other part of your beautiful face, fingers impatiently tapping on his thigh. You could swear, Ayato never got as much adrenaline, not even on the rare occasions you saw him handling a blade, as when he had a chance to push you against the wall - literally or metaphorically. Did you really want to give your future to such a man?

I'll never leave (I'm going deep)

“Yes.”

[tiktokitssinoclock]

Studying Struggles- The Moon Boys

SFW// Minors and ageless blogs, DNI // You will be blocked

Summary:

Being a university student can come with its challenges, but the boys are more than willing to help you combat them.

Word Count:

1.0K

Warnings/Triggers:

Brief mentions of an unhealthy eating schedule (non-ED related; only in Jake Lockley's section)

Unrelated, but to my Cubans and potentially other hispanics out there, DON'T FREAK OUT when I mention habichuelas y arroz LMAO. My fam is Puerto Rican and we eat them all the time, but I only recently learned from a Cuban friend that whenever I talk about habichuelas y arroz, she thinks I'm mixing green beans and rice. I'm actually talking about delicious stewed beans (with papas y jamon ofc) and rice. That's all, just wanted you to know that I'm not a green bean heathen <3

Steven Grant

Your tendency to agree to anything that's asked of you makes being a student exceedingly difficult

Coworkers will ask you to pick up the odd shift or two and you'll hopelessly accept, managing to take notes on a chapter or two for your problem class after a lunch rush or during your breaks

Your friends might ask you to be a designated driver for their night at the club and you just can't say no, knowing damn well you'll have to study from the moment you get home until your alarm starts going off to get ready for work

It's always one thing after the next, it seems, and although you don't like to admit it to yourself, it can get utterly exhausting

That changes a little once you move in with the boys, however

Steven makes an effort to remember even your most minute mentions exams, and when they start coming up, he makes an effort to help you get the most out of your studies

He'll try his best to keep his cluttered flat a little more organized, keeping his books mostly on their shelves and making sure his desk is relatively clear

Requests for you to join your friends on nights out diminish, but for some odd reason when you are invited, its conveniently on weekends where you're free

After catching Steven steal a peek at your pocket calendar before sending a text, however, you quickly piece together why

He even beats you to the phone when someone from work calls, quickly hitting decline before you can even protest

"Come on, love. You and I both know it's not good for you to pick up any more shifts this week."

He's just supportive through and through, making sure you're not overwhelming yourself while also cheering you on

As soon as exam season is over, he treats you to a weekend of nothing but eating take out and catching up on your favorite shows, too

Marc Spector

You're by no means a stupid person, however, you are quite unorganized

Every week there's a deadline that comes out of nowhere, whether it be for a research paper worth 30% of your grade or an exam that you simply can't afford to do bad on

You typically do enough to pull through in the end, but you're always mentally spent and by the time you're recovered, the cycle repeats again

Marc almost immediately catches onto this, and one night when you close your laptop after barely submitting a presentation on time, he decides he can't let you go on like that

He helps you pull up the syllabi for all your courses and painstakingly comb through the due dates, neatly filling out the calendar you'd neglected to use all semester until everything is written down

"See how I broke everything up across the week? It's so you can get stuff done early and stop killing yourself every Sunday."

He makes you promise to try to follow the schedule you guys made and, while you weren't a fan of the idea of jumping back into your school work so soon after another hectic weekend, you begrudgingly agreed

Marc didn't let your efforts go unrecognized

When you were making slow but steady progress on a book report, you almost don't realize Marc had placed your favorite drink from a local cafe next to you until he was pressing a kiss to the top of your head

After you finally finished drilling through flashcards for a quiz, he was at your side in an instant with your coat in his hand

"Let's go on a walk for a little while, you could use a break."

By the time Friday night had rolled around, you turned in your report and found yourself with nothing left to do

Marc simply smirked at the shocked expression on your face as you flipped through the planner to double check, returning his attention to the dinner he was cooking

"Good job, habibti. Now you can sleep in with me all weekend."

Jake Lockley

Typically, you've got a pretty good hold on balancing all of your school responsibilities with the demands of day-to-day life

You're on top of your studying and homework assignments while also juggling a social life and household chores

The one thing that slips through the cracks, however, is food

Your kitchen gets deserted overnight, the contents of your fridge replaced with meal replacement shakes

Jake notices this especially when a big exam or assignment is coming up- its as if you've subconsciously knocked nutrition down on the hierarchy of importance

He doesn't like that- not one bit

So he puts an end to it

During your next stressful bought, he made it his personal mission to make sure you were eating real food for every meal

Even when you offered up polite protests of "Jake, you don't have to do all that" or "I'll be fine, I promise", they always fell on deaf ears

"Nourishing your body is just as important as nourishing your mind, mi vida. Eat."

And that's how it went from then on

Sometimes you'll be hunched over your computer, nearly done reteaching yourself how to calculate pH, when he leaves a plate of scrambled eggs at your side

Other times you'd be so busy plowing through practice problems, you almost don't notice the hot cup of coffee and sandwich waiting for you

When the night runs late and you start nodding off in your seat, he'll close the laptop in front of you and drag a chair over to join you, the two of you having a late meal of habichuelas and rice

That's how it continues until your last final is finally taken and you can relax

You always offer different ways to make up for it, like doing all the cooking for a month in return, but all he ever wants is quality time with you

[batz-surveys]

11.

How many bedrooms does your home have? One. What kind of phone do you have? I have a Samsung Galaxy S8, haha. It's old but it still works pretty good, so I won't be upgrading anytime soon. Have you ever been assaulted? Unfortunately, yes.

What was the last thing that made you feel fortunate? Reading that last question and realizing how lucky and fortunate I am that I got away from my last relationship in one piece, because some women aren't as lucky. It wasn't until I was in my relationship with my now husband, that I realized how badly I was treated and controlled, and was blind to all of it.

Can you hear a lot of traffic noise from your house? Sometimes. We mostly hear the restaurant that's down the road.

Are there any good Thai restaurants where you live? I haven't had Thai in such a long time. The one that I used to go to, before going vegetarian went out of business, so I'm not sure. I don't eat Thai food because I know they use fish sauce in a lot of their recipes and I don't like asking for them to make it special just because I don't eat animals. Have you ever drawn or painted a self-portrait? I have. What was the last red thing you ate? Salsa. Do you know anyone in a relationship with someone who’s old enough to be their parent? No. Have you ever found something really interesting at an antique store? We used to have this place called Attic Mall, and it was like, a bunch of little shops in one big warehouse, and I used to love browsing each shop. I'm sure I found loads of interesting stuff over that time period. What brand of laundry detergent do you use? We use Kirkland brand laundry pods. Have you ever driven a Mini Cooper? No. Who was your last voicemail from? It's been so long since I've gotten a voicemail, because I voiced to my family to not leave one unless it's an emergency, haha. But it was probably my mom. Do you have any Italian heritage? I don't think so. Did your longest relationship make it past the 5 year mark? Yes, we've been together for fourteen years, married for four of those this Halloween. (: What time do you usually eat dinner? Around 630pm, sometimes 7pm if I'm cooking. I don't get off of work until six in the evening. Would you ever want a career in the performing arts? I think it would be cool, but I also think I'm too shy and have too much anxiety to be a performer of any kind. I can't even do karaoke with my family without feeling anxious and protesting against it. Do you know any narcissists? I'm starting to think I do. What has been your favorite job you’ve ever had? When I was a nanny, it was really great, but specifically this one girl - I nicknamed her Green Bean - that I cared for. She was such a sweet baby, and as she grew up, she was just so smart and well behaved. Her family was amazing, too. I still keep in contact with all of them. I've never cared for a kid that made that much of an impact on me since. When was the last time you had a power outage from a storm? This past Friday morning, actually. Have you ever been falsely accused of something serious? Yes, but not to the extent where law enforcement needed to be involved. Do you ever Skype/Facetime your friends and family? Sometimes my mom will want to use the Google equivalent of those platforms to have a conversation. I can't remember the name of it. Anyway, that's once in a blue moon that we do.   What did you think of the last movie you saw in theaters? The last movie I saw in theaters was the newest Exorcist movie, and I thought it was pretty scary and it was worth seeing. Did you ever set up a lemonade stand when you were a kid? Nah, I never did that. When was the last time you spoke to someone in a different language? Hahaha, a long time ago, when I was in high school and took French, and had an oral exam where I had to only speak French.

[jbarneswilson]

For Bucky please, headcanons: ■ ☯ ♒

hello, nonnie! thank you so very much for the ask and thank you for your patience! i’m sorry it took me so long and i hope my silly little thoughts were worth the wait 💜💜💜

bedroom/house/living quarters: so, before he moves in with sarah and the boys, i think his own living quarters are kind of sparse; that’s based on what we saw in ca:tws and episode one of tfatws. there isn’t much softness or excess, anything in his home is functional. there’s just enough for one person: one chair, one bowl, one plate, one cup… the man grew up during the great depression, anything even approaching excess would make him feel—at the very least—uncomfortable. i think he has a bed, probably a twin or full-size bed because how much space does one person need? but he doesn’t sleep in it. he tries, he really does, but he just… can’t. he keeps his place tidy, there’s something soothing for him in the repetitive motions of cleaning. one of the things he really prizes is having somewhere quiet and safe to go back to, some place that’s just his.

likes/dislikes: idk why but i just know this man likes baseball; but he also likes SOCCER which is the best because i like soccer A LOT! based on episode two of tfatws i feel confident in saying he likes fantasy novels, i also think he likes the classics (but not that fucker ayn rand, she can sit and spin), he’s got some james joyce and oscar wilde in there cuz, ya know, irish; he’s used to the hustle and bustle of nyc but i think he really likes the slower pace and quiet of delacroix. well, relative quiet. those boys can raise quite the ruckus. he likes kids, they’re funny and have an interesting way of seeing the world and they don’t seem bothered by the metal arm. he likes being around sarah, likes sharing the same space as her, likes walking into the kitchen and smelling a hint of her perfume and knowing she was just in there, likes being her friend, likes her as a person. obviously he also likes aj and cass, they’re good kids and when they squabble it reminds him of the way he and becca used to get into it. he likes sam, too. and he REALLY likes riling him up by calling him his brother. he likes joaquin, too, maybe, a little bit. bucky dislikes assholes and bullies and impolite people and guys who don’t open doors for women and being cold and snakes.

cooking/food: so. the food from bucky’s youth? left A LOT to be desired. if he never has to eat another plate of boiled chicken it’ll be too soon. but, he’s never going to say no to a slice of soda bread with currants and a heap of butter, especially if it taste anything like sarah rogers’s soda bread used to taste. his mom made the best boxty he’s ever had and he’s bummed you can’t find good boxty any more. corned beef and corned beef hash are also pretty damn amazing. he likes a good pot roast, his mom used to make a nice on for sunday dinner if they had some extra money for a nice cut of beef from the butcher. one thing he does really like about the future is how easy it is to find cooking videos and recipes so he can teach himself how to feed himself; aside from going to eat with yori, bucky finds it hard to justify paying for food when he’s perfectly capable of cooking. no amount of pleading from sarah will ever get him to try anything with beans, he does not care how good of a cook she is, beans are disgusting and he ate enough in the war to last him a lifetime… he doesn’t mind greens, though, especially with some white rice and cornbread. and he loves her gumbo so much that the first time she made it for him he asked her to marry him. (she laughed but he meant it)

[restforthe-burdenedsoul]

January 7th

Forgot to post!

This was a decent day until I got home and binged a little on chips. Overall, I don’t think it messed up my day/week too much. I did not log the chips 😂

I went out to lunch with M and did my best to make healthier choices. I got grilled fish and green beans, but still splurged on mashed potato’s. Dinner was at my parents and my mom had made fried flounder and squash casserole.

January 8

I didn’t calorie count because the whole day was just uncontrolled haha. We overslept, watched church at home, I made a bigger breakfast for us. Did some homework and then we went to Night of Worship at church and then Applebees for dinner so I could be more productive with school work.

Adding a read more thing because the rest is mental health sad stuff that I’m just processing

It feels like that cycle is happening where I’m falling behind wirh school so staying up late which causes me to oversleep and work late which causes me to fall behind in school…help! How do I stop it 😭😭

Also, I’m almost on my period so my moods are all over the place. Last month I didn’t feel as depressed, but this month I’m struggling to stay afloat. I know it’s hormonal, but it doesn’t make it feel any better. I hate how dark my thoughts get and I don’t know what to do about them. Even when I was in therapy, I was afraid to tell my therapist because I’m also not trying to get hospitalized over hormones.

Also, I’m almost on my period so my moods are all over the place. Last month I didn’t feel as depressed, but this month I’m struggling to stay afloat. I know it’s hormonal, but it doesn’t make it feel any better. I hate how dark my thoughts get and I don’t know what to do about them. Even when I was in therapy, I was afraid to tell my therapist because I’m also not trying to get hospitalized over hormones.

I was talking to my friend about it who reminded me that it’s definitely not normal to feel s***** for two weeks of the months, but I’m just not open to birth control again because every type I’ve tried has made me feel the same way anyway, just worse. There’s a nonhormonal IUD which is what my last gyno said she could do, but I’m scared. It’s not something that could be just taken out asap if I was getting those side effects again and it doesn’t seem worth the risk to me.

I think another treatment for the mood swings are anti depressants, so maybe I can try the psychiatrist again now that my finances are back on track.

Anyway. Here’s some happy things from last week to remind myself that life is really good right now and not at all what my hormones are trying to make me believe.

[fantasy-journals-lostxndbroken]

Finding a place where you aren’t disliked for what you are is difficult. That’s why I ended up in a tavern named the Rusty Mug. The name is as accurate as the aesthetics on the inside. Trashy place, with a lot of scum or fallen deep characters. Yeah, I must have fallen deep myself.

Because of all kinds of races, classes and backgrounds were welcome, I didn’t feel the usual loathing. Unfortunately, there was no available seating, so I had no choice but to join a table already occupied by three peculiar individuals.

A tiefling, like myself, whose skin was green and wore red-glassed shades. Strange, but to each their own. A naga with sandy colors, giving the impression of not being from around here either. And there was a massive Magpie Aarakocra that effortlessly towered over the others, even while sitting. Great... Crazy enough, we ended up chatting a little and introduced ourselves. So, the green tiefling is called Baril. The naga’s name is Atem and the tall bird’s name is Zarark.

It didn’t take long for the certain peace to be disturbed as someone rushed in and shouted all kinds of crazy things around, demanding help. Everyone brushed him away, which made the table I was sitting on the next on his list.

Superstitious crap was uttered. Something about the feather snake god, Oatali being angry and would doom everyone if a certain artifact wasn’t retrieved in a short time. A part of me didn’t want to mingle in religious gibber, but my thieving heart wanted to know what the reward would be. Rivo, the lizardfolk shaman, said he would give us his ship. Great? Could be worth a lot. But I don’t take that as an answer just yet. I wanted to know the state of it. We absolutely don’t need a costly renovation that exceeds its value. Rivo assured us of its good condition, so we agreed.

The start of our journey together started rocky, very rocky. In the water, a massive crocodile patiently awaited us, hoping for a quick meal, but we disregarded its presence. Everyone but Atem. The last thing I need was to ruin my beautiful curls. Atem, on the other hand, wanted to befriend the thing and failed to do so. Later he got bitten in his hand for attempting anew, that’s what you get if try to push your friendship on such vile creatures…

Then Rivo showed us how successful of a sailor he was, and also... failed. The sails got ripped and though I don’t know how to sail at all, I rushed over to steady it. Only realizing that I shouldn’t have as I made things a lot worse. Our feathered friend took over and then barfed all over the deck. I swear! The heap of bile teemed with squirming worms. Thankfully, Atem handled it and it was as though it never occurred.

A while later, coconuts came flying down and everyone but our dear green bean got hit. He was quite impressive as Baril caught a flying coconut and tossed it back. The ape he hit dropped into the water and was soon devoured by the crocodile.

Atem, our slithering naga, intimidated Rivo as the poor thing was cradling himself and holding onto his bruised head after being hit by a coconut. Whimp... Then I must have said something to piss someone or something off... I couldn’t see anymore. Baril, or at least, it sounded like him, helped me to sit down and mocked me a little, and instead of thanking him, I told him to fuck off. I gave him the finger, or at least I tried to because I couldn’t see where he stood.

This streak of bad luck didn’t end! And I regretted for going on a trip with this bunch. A tidal wave hit us. But I had my sight back, which might not have been related to the tidal wave, as it had been slowly returning before it hit us.

We hit the destination of where we could find this artifact, or so said by Rivo. We were convinced that sneaking in was the way to go, but they noticed us even before we got in sight. The chain-mail worn by the bird boy was incredibly noisy. Maybe I’m mistaken, but I don’t think barbarians are supposed to wear heavy armor, but what do I know?

Baril saved our asses by compellingly telling the lizardfolk why we were there. It was a business matter. Faking anger as he was disappointed that we weren’t met at shore as promised. Rivo then blew our cover by entering sight, and the lizardfolk turned hostile immediately.

Now it was my turn to impress! I grabbed Rivo by the neck and explained that we found him on our way here, spewing all kinds of craziness, and wanted to hand him over to show our willingness to accept their culture. Thank the hells that they believed me or this might have gone wrong!

To be continued…

[theretirementstory]

Bonjour toute le monde, I am still at home and am enjoying my garden. We had three days of gorgeous weather where the temperatures reached 20c, although I was doing a lot of washing and letting it dry outside I still managed to prune my roses, clear nettles from around the paniculata and cleared out the dead leaves and weeds from the peonies.

The delicious meal at the restaurant did not disappoint, I decided to have a starter and what a cracking choice it was, tartine of chèvre chaud with a salad made with apple, pears and more cheese, it was really delicious. I then had the filet of beef with pepper sauce, gratin dauphinois and green beans plus I still had room for the delicious exotic fruits with sorbet. It was certainly worth going as I really enjoyed it all.

I had to go to the hospital for a platelet transfusion on Monday and I thought I was never going to get home! Did they not realise we were having similar to toad in the hole for dinner!

“The Photographer” and I were still busy getting my affairs in order. The one thing that was most important to me was having a funeral plan in place. We went and got the estimate and then I had an appointment on Friday for it all to be finalised. That’s it, I have the paperwork, it’s all paid for and an additional burden removed from my sons’ shoulders.

For our last meal together, “The Photographer” drove us to Buffalo Grill. I didn’t feel as hungry as I had previously and couldn’t eat all of my steak but I still managed a slice of cheesecake which was delicious.

Then it was time for “The Photographer” to leave. I was waiting for a taxi, which didn’t show, to take me to the hospital for my PET scan. The lady said it hadn’t been booked 🤔. So I spent an extra hour with him as he drove me to the hospital for the scan. It was a long day for him but he returned home safe and well and we had spent a lovely nine days together.

As I said the weather was gorgeous and so I took advantage and got all of the bedding washed (it will soon be ironed and put away). I have my bag to pack for hospital tomorrow.

Lots of messages from friends, Anie, Pauline, Monique. Maud and Claudine in France, Mary, Val, Jo, Jackie and Miranda in the UK.

My gorgeous grandchildren have been with Daddy this weekend, what little cuties they are! I got gorgeous photos of my grandson and my granddaughter was in studious mode until she knew that her uncle was coming to visit and my goodness the smile on her face when she saw him was amazing. They were both sitting on his knee, just loving being with him. My grandson was using his uncle’s girlfriend’s phone to take selfies, cheeky little chap.

“The Trainee Solicitor” is still trying to do his work and prepare the office for a new member of staff (hopefully one arrives soon). It is full on busy and boy will he be glad of a four day weekend this coming week.

“The Reconnect Navigator” has been given her own cases and feels that things are moving along. She also had her first payday which is a great day in anyone’s book.

“The Jetsetter” returned from her trip to Bologna, Venice and Florence and I know that during the stay aperol was consumed and I imagine quite a bit of pasta too. I always think it’s great to get away at this time of year as it sets you up for the summer.

My hair has fallen out big style now, I look a little like a friar with my big round bald patch in the middle of tufts of hair. As I don’t have the next round of chemo until maybe another month, I think I will be bald for sometime (I am not really liking it!)

My first piece of music this week comes from the artist I know as Terence Trent D’Arby but who is now known as Sananda Maitreya. To choose between “If You Let Me Stay” and “Sign Your Name” has proven very difficult, I am going to go with “Sign Your Name” but why not listen to them both. This song was released in 1987, wow so long ago!

The second song, has quite a haunting melody, it’s “7 Seconds” by Youssou N’Dour ft. Neneh Cherry, it was released in 1994.

Now I really must go to the supermarket, I need to get some filters for my Brita water filter (other makes are available) and I would like to buy something tasty for this evenings meal.

I will wish you all a Bon Dimanche and leave you with the photos of the spring flowers and the cherry blossom.

[keefwho]

October 17 - 2023 Tuesday

9:49pm

Journaling early today because I just want to get out the things troubling me and try to enjoy my night alone.

This morning was spam, ramen, and green beans for breakfast. I got to stream on time but I had to rush a little. Stream went okay, we couldn't watch shows because my internet wasn't allowing it. Daisy was also having a pretty bad day at work and that had me worried. I struggled to push through to the end but I did it. I started lunch an hour early since Rice a Roni takes over an hour for me to cook it and in the meantime I re-organized my pantry to try and get all the food off the space heater since my dad is going to buy a new one to put in. This is a little bit of a problem because I have pretty limited space to store my food now but maybe we can get a shelf or two put up. Ideally some counter space in the corner. Lunch turned out pretty good and I did today's request while waiting in Egg's server to see if she'd show up to hang out. She hasn't responded to my last message about our schedules lining up which is weird because she's the one that initially said she was so thankful that we met and couldn't wait to hang out more but I've not been able to make contact. I'm gonna make this little drawing for her that I promised and after that I'm going to tone my effort down because I'm so very tired of putting energy into people that won't or can't give it back. Sucks to have to abandon so many potential good friends. She also admitted she has no friends and needs to socialize more so I thought that being in a similar position would help us become friends pretty quick.

As I started that doodle for her, I joined TDS and Plaz wanted to see the Spookality world. It is then I learned there was a massive flaw that I created while pushing the very last fix so a lot of people probably got a ruined experience. I fixed it as best I could but it took about an hour and a half. I was fixing to be proud of myself for getting everything done in time but this set me back and I was very late to drawing at this point. I gave myself a rest and left the call. As soon as I worked up the will to start drawing again and even got deep into the groove, Daisy messaged me concerned about things I've posted in the past and sort of made my heart drop. I tried not to get too upset because I know this is a case of miscommunication or differing beliefs, not an attack on my character. I couldn't help but feel a little hurt though. I try so hard to show that I'm someone trustworthy. And I'm not the same person I was a year ago much less 5 years ago or whenever I posted edgy things. But today it felt like it doesn't matter how much I've changed, I've already fucked up and now I'm a bad person forever. It was all done out of ignorance as well, I never condoned anything or was pushing my beliefs or some kind of agenda. I just did it for attention, or for money, because I didn't care at the time. I tried to calm down with some Zelda which worked for a little bit but I was in my own head thinking Daisy was probably too uncomfortable with me to want to chill or call tonight. Then I got a random submission to my pony blog that was a close up of someone cutting themselves and that was the final straw. Today sucked, tonight will suck, and tomorrow there will probably be more challenges to deal with. I had my brief time of what you could call "happiness", now it's time to struggle again.

11:09pm

I already knew this but my self worth corelates with my interest in degrading smut. I felt pretty shitty tonight so I got off imagining myself in the position of characters getting abused. It feels good in the sense that it's sort of a way to let myself feel bad about myself. It's an outlet in that sense. I still wonder if it's a healthy one though. I'm not sure if I'm reinforcing my self beliefs by doing this or not. It feels okay, kinda like having a stiff drink after an especially hard day. If only done every now and then or in a way that doesn't impact how I live my life, that's an okay thing to do. Thats where I feel like I'm at with this. It might also be a way to gauge how I feel about myself because I'd say my need to do this has gone down lately. Maybe that means on some level I really am feeling better about myself more often.

[msbarrows]

Sept 25 - Finished off the tomato sauce (2 cans of crushed tomatoes fixed the consistency, and then we added some additional seasonings). Then took many hours to can it, as unfortunately the gas stove he has is kind of crappy and is very slooowwww for things like bringing a canning pot full of (hot tap) water to the boil for processing. And before THAT we had to bring the jars, rings, and lids to a boil in a different pot to sterilize them before filling them. Argh.

Nephew made a grilled chicken with pesto orzo dish for supper.

Sept 26 - Got nephew's laptop set up to work with my scanner, there's no way we're getting all the scanning done before I head back north next week, so I'm going to leave it here for now. He's invited me to come back down again in late December for a combination of helping him with some more sorting through of things, plus getting to spend Christmas with our side of the family down here.

For supper I pan-grilled a pork tenderloin (after rubbing it with salt, pepper, and ground allspice) and cooked some small new potatoes and green beans then mixed them together with butter and fresh rosemary.

Sept 27 - went through most of the drawers of an old wooden desk that the BIL and his father before him had both used. Lots of evidence of the grandfather's career as an engineer (multiple slide rules) and aging (many difference magnifying devices), not to mention a few decades worth of old bank books tossed in a drawer, dozens of old stamps (both used and unused), coins of varying denominations and ages, unused blank cards and notepaper etc. One drawer is entirely ancient files of the grandfather's that we'll need to do a folder-by-folder pass through to sort out potential keepsakes from recyclables.

Also did more scanning of photos. Most of today's were of a trip to the 1986 Vancouver Expo, plus of BIL hanging out with friends or co-workers. Slightly weird to see him playing with a little blond girl in that phase between toddler and child, and realize from the 80s hair and clothes everyone is sporting that she's probably in her 40s now.

Only one photo had anything written on the back to identify the people in it, and it's just first names.

Nephew made toad-in-the-hole and mixed steamed veg for supper.

[corroded-hellfire]

Love Comes Walking In - Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: Eddie didn’t want to go to prom, until he wanted to go with Chrissy. You wanted to go to prom, but not if Eddie is going to go with Chrissy. But above everything, you want Eddie to be happy.

Note: this whole thing mostly came about because I wanted to write the one scene with Dustin. You’ll know the one.

Words: 6k

Eddie teasing you was nothing new. His lighthearted jabs about your skirt making you look preppy or having sleepy eye boogers first thing in the morning roll off your back, occasionally even making you laugh along. But when he teases you about wanting to go to prom, that gets under your skin. 

Wanting one special night to wear a pretty gown with glowing makeup and neatly styled hair didn’t sound stupid to you. To your best friend, it seemed like torture. The whole school year Eddie would rag on you about buying into the whole conformist commercialism that you thought of as a rite of passage. That makes it even worse when he suddenly changes his tune just a week before the dance. 

“You’re being ridiculous,” Jeff complains. 

Eddie rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest.

“Just because I changed my mind doesn’t mean I’m ridiculous,” he argues.

“You changed your mind because of a girl!” Gareth shouts. 

Jabbing your green beans with your plastic fork, you stay silent as the boys bicker back and forth. Part of you was also afraid to open your mouth, unsure of what would come out.

“You say that like I’d go to prom with any girl,” Eddie snaps. “I’m not saying I’m going, I’m saying I would go with Chrissy.”

The fork is clutched so hard in your hand that you think it’s going to snap in half. 

“What’s wrong with wanting to go with anyone?” Jeff asks.

Eddie waves a dismissive hand at him and wrinkles his face up in distaste, not bothering to give a verbal response. 

“Hypocrite,” you mumble under your breath.

“I am not.” Eddie stares at you and your head jerks up in surprise that he heard you. 

“Yes, you are,” you say. “You’ve made fun of me all year for wanting to go and now because you have a crush, it’s different? Bullshit.”

“I changed my mind,” Eddie reiterates. 

“Fine,” you say with a huff. It’s not worth arguing with him over. 

“Maybe you should apologize,” Dustin suggests softly.

“What?” Eddie asks.

“Come on, you have been on her ass about it all year,” Dustin says. 

“Thanks, Dustin,” you say. “But it’s fine.”

Eddie opens his mouth, but you don’t give him a chance to speak. Chair legs scraping against the floor, you push your seat back and stand up from the table. The guys all watch as you leave, dumping your tray in the trash before stalking out of the cafeteria. 

Arguments with Eddie rarely happened. They’re so rare that neither of you know how to react when you next see each other. Are you still fighting? Has it been long enough where you both can pretend like nothing ever happened? There’s no chance to talk to one another in your shared algebra class the next day, so it wasn’t until lunch that you really came face to face. Eddie’s at the table before you, and you plop down in your usual seat next to him. 

“We cool?” Eddie asks as you’re in the middle of lifting a forkful of mac and cheese to your open mouth. 

“Uh, yeah,” you say, eyeing him over your full fork. “I guess.” 

“Good.” He slouches down in his seat, as if he can relax now that he knows you’re on good terms. “Oh shit, here I got you something.” Eddie reaches into his metal lunchbox and pulls out a Three Musketeers bar. “Band kids are selling candy, so I bought your favorite for you. Hide it before Henderson gets here or he’ll steal it.”

“Thanks,” you say with a grin. This was exactly the reason why your feelings for Eddie would never go away. Just when he pisses you off to the point where you swear you’re never going to sit with him at lunch again, he turns around and does something sweet and thoughtful without expecting anything in return. 

“Breaking news, losers,” Gareth says as he drops his tray on the table. “I have a prom date.”

“Well shit, I guess hell has frozen over,” Mike says as he and Dustin join the rest of you. 

“You’re not a senior,” Jeff points out.

“No, but my date is.” Gareth’s smirk is enough to earn an eye roll from both you and Eddie. 

“Who’s that desperate?” 

Gareth throws a French fry at you - which you dodge - before he answers. 

“Calling Kel desperate?” 

“What?” you almost screech. “How are you going with one of the sweetest girls at school?”

“I’m super cool,” he says, making the rest of you bust out in laughter. 

“But seriously,” Jeff says.

“You’re all assholes,” Gareth says before digging into his food. “At least I have a date.” 

Eddie goes to reply, but you’re afraid of what he’s going to say, so you scoop up your backpack and excuse yourself to the bathroom. Once you step out of the cafeteria, you roll out your neck and shoulders, trying not to think of Eddie back in there talking about prom with the guys. You push the girl’s bathroom door open and breathe a sigh of relief when you’re the only one in there. Dropping your bag on the floor between your feet, you lean forward on one of the sinks and look at yourself in the mirror. A few deep breaths later, you feel your body relax. It’s short lived, however, when the door squeaks open on old hinges and two cheerleaders step in. 

You feel bad for the guttural reaction you have to seeing Chrissy’s blonde ponytail swinging behind you in the mirror. She is a complete sweetheart who wouldn’t hurt a fly, but the jealous green-eyed monster rears its ugly head and your fingers dig into the cool porcelain. 

“It really sucks,” the other cheerleader says to Chrissy. You know you’ve seen her around, but you don’t know her name. Both cheerleaders park at the sinks next to you to touch up their makeup. Chrissy throws you a bright smile and a friendly wave before taking her lip gloss out and turning back towards her friend. 

“I know,” Chrissy says. “I knew we were going to break up, but I was hoping for it to be after prom. How am I supposed to find a new date in a week?”

“I’m sure you’ll have no problem with that,” her friend assures her.

“I don’t know,” Chrissy says with a sigh. “Everyone probably has their dates by now.”

You squeeze your eyes shut. Your pulse is raging in your ears and sweat is starting to make your hands slip against the sink. The internal debate rages inside of you. Do you let your jealousy get in the way of something that will make Eddie happy? It would throw away any shot you had of going to prom with Eddie yourself - but you know that was a long shot anyway. 

Still undecided, you take a step back from the sink, and your backpack falls over. You bend down to pick it up and the Three Musketeer bar falls out. It feels like your gaze should melt the chocolate that’s laying before you. Damn Eddie and his thoughtfulness at buying you the stupid candy. You toss it back in your bag, wincing as you prepare self-destruction. 

“Hey, Chrissy,” you say.

She turns to you with a smile, putting the top back on her lip gloss.

“Hey! What’s up?”

“I, uh, didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” you say as you slide your backpack on. You can’t manage to look her in the eyes as you speak. “But I know someone who doesn’t have a date yet.”

“You do?” She perks up in interest and the souring of your stomach almost keeps you from going further. 

“Yeah.” It sounds painful coming out of your mouth and you hope neither cheerleader notices. “Um, Eddie? Eddie Munson.”

“Really?” her friend asks. She crosses her arms over her chest and juts a hip out. You’re two seconds away from smacking the snotty look off her face when Chrissy speaks up.

“Eddie is great,” Chrissy says, looking over her shoulder at her friend before looking back at you. “Yeah, that sounds nice. Think he’ll say yes if I ask him?”

“I do.” Those two words were almost the hardest to get out. It was killing you how much of an understatement it was. 

“Okay!” The eagerness in her voice makes you want to cry. There’s no way you’ll be able to face Eddie back in there. 

“You can, um, ask him now if you want,” you say with a shrug. With a deep breath, you head towards the bathroom door. You stop halfway out the door and turn back around. “Oh, if Eddie asks,” you say, doubting he would because he’d be too consumed by the fact that his dreams were coming true, “can you just tell him I wasn’t feeling well and left?”

“No problem.” Her brow furrows in concern and she takes a step towards you. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.” It’s the biggest lie you’ve told in a while. “Cramps.” You put your hand to your lower abdomen and Chrissy gives you a sympathetic nod.

“Feel better!”

Without answering her, you walk out of the bathroom and down the hall, to the school exit. As soon as you slide into your car, the tears start. They start pouring so heavily and your hands shake so badly that you can’t put your key in the ignition. Momentarily giving up, you drop the keys in your lap and drop your head down to the steering wheel. 

Giving yourself enough time to get the worst of it out, you pull back and use your sleeves to wipe down your face. With a deep breath, you close your eyes and try to center yourself. After a few breaths in and out, in and out, you’re able to get the keys in the ignition on the first try. You pull your car out of the parking lot and head towards your house. The conversation you had with Chrissy keeps going through your head and you can’t keep from picturing the euphoric look that will be on Eddie’s face when she asks him. The saving grace you’re holding on to is the fact that Chrissy immediately defended Eddie to her friend. There aren’t many people in the school who would do that. 

Luckily, no one is home when you get to your house and you’re able to go inside and sulk in peace in your bed. More tears leak out as you hug your pillow to your chest. You must end up falling asleep because the persistent ringing of your doorbell jolts you awake sometime later. Heart racing from the adrenaline, you pull yourself out of bed and drag yourself to the front door. 

Eddie’s standing on the other side and it’s the first time his smile has ever broken your heart. 

“You are the best!” He swoops into your house and wraps you up in his arms. “Oh shit, sorry. I forgot, Chrissy said you’re having some girl pains.”

Right. 

“They’re better now that I’ve rested,” you say. “And you don’t have to thank me. Just doing what a good friend would do, right?”

“The best friend in the world!” He takes your head in his hands and presses a loud smacking kiss to your forehead. His happiness is infectious and despite your foul mood, a small smile curls on your mouth. 

“Now,” he says, taking both of his hands in yours. “We have to find a date for you.”

“Oh.” Your face drops and you shake your head. “I’m not going to go.”

It hadn’t occurred to you that Eddie would still be thinking about how you wanted to attend prom. The idea of his own perfect date should’ve been occupying his whole brain, but damn Eddie and his thoughtfulness. 

“What?” Eddie immediately frowns and it tugs at your heart. It tempts you to tell him you’ll go, but the mental image of Eddie dressed up and dancing with a flawless-as-usual Chrissy makes you bite your tongue. 

“You were right before,” you tell him. “It’s dumb and there’s shitty music. Plus, the dresses are way too expensive.” The dress you planned on wearing was already in your closet, but Eddie didn’t need to know that. 

“Are you sure?” Eddie dips his head down to meet your eyes. He raises an eyebrow at you questioningly. 

“Yeah,” you tell him. 

“I’m going to miss you there,” he says, and you almost slip up and laugh out loud at his statement. 

“Oh please, you’ll be having way too much fun to notice I’m not there.” 

“Like that could happen,” Eddie says with a skeptical look. 

You don’t bother arguing with him, even though you know he’s wrong. 

On your way to the cafeteria the next day, you can’t bring yourself to walk in. You know if you do then you’re just going to be hearing about plans for prom and you don’t trust yourself not to break down in tears in front of everyone. There was no way you could avoid the guys entirely until prom, but you couldn’t face them today. Eddie doesn’t want to be with you. He wants to be with Chrissy. And you have to make yourself seem okay with that somehow. Just not today. 

There’s a vending machine on the way to the gym, so you pick up a bag of crackers and a bottle of coke. The gymnasium is empty, so you take a seat on the bottom row of bleachers and start to eat your sad little lunch. It’s easy to let your mind wander, so you try to redirect it away from where it wants to go. Usual calming fantasies revolve around Eddie in some way, but that’s out of the question right now. 

Your mind can’t stray far from Eddie though, so you let your mind divulge in a little dark fantasy as you eat. What would happen if you just ran away? What would happen if you just threw some clothes in a bag and bolted? You would never actually do it, but imagining Eddie being sad over you leaving brings you a sick sort of comfort. Because he would miss you. You know he loves you, it’s just not in the same way that you wish. 

As you crumble up your wrapper in your hand, the gym door opens and a familiar hat over tousled curls walks in. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even look at you, as he walks your way with his hands in his pockets. Sneakers squeak across the shiny floor and come to a sudden halt as he stops in front of you. 

Dustin dips his chin down and raises his eyes to look at you. He takes one hand out of his pocket and holds it out to you.

“Yes?” you ask, looking between his eyes and his hand. 

“I know what you did for Eddie,” he says. “We all know. Except for him, he’s an idiot. But it really was a nice thing to do. I never could’ve done it.”

“Thanks,” you say skeptically, unsure of where he was going with this. 

“He told us you said you don’t want to go to prom. I know that’s bullshit. So,” he says, bringing his hand back and extending it to you again, “I am asking you if I may take you to the prom.”

Your eyes immediately well with tears as you look up at the boy in front of you. Dustin was always one of the sweetest people you knew, but this was taking it to a whole other level. 

“Oh, Dustin,” you say. You take his hand and tug his arm until he’s sitting on the bleacher next to you. “That is the sweetest offer I’ve gotten in my entire life. But I can’t go to prom.”

Dustin sighs and nods his head.

“Can’t see them together?” he asks.

“Correct.”

He wraps his arm around you, and you rest your head on his shoulder.

“So, everyone knows, huh?” you ask. 

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you stare at Eddie a lot.”

The laughter that bubbles out of you is so unexpected that you bring your hand up to cover your mouth. 

“I know,” you admit. “I do.”

“And you look at him differently than you look at anyone else,” he says. 

“Like he’s an idiot?” you ask and Dustin chuckles. 

“No, I think we all look at him that way.”

You sigh and pick your head up from Dustin’s shoulder. You pat his arm and give him a grateful smile.

“Dustin Henderson, you are the best. And if I were going to go to the prom with anybody at all, it would be you.” 

“Well, when I go to my senior prom, I hope I go with someone half as awesome as you.”

That makes the tears spill over and you hastily wipe them off your cheeks. 

“God, I love you.” You throw your arms around his neck and give him the tightest hug you’ve given anyone in a while. He chuckles as he hugs you back.

“Who doesn’t?”

The night of prom comes, and you stand in your kitchen, alone in the house and in your comfiest sweats, making cookie dough. Screw warnings of not eating raw eggs, you were making this dough to eat, not cook. The last few days at school you went back to eat lunch with the guys but used a fake sore throat as an excuse for staying quiet and distant. You really only needed to fool Eddie though, since the other guys knew what was really going on with you. 

You take the bowl of cookie dough into the living room and set it down as you flip through the VHS tapes you’d rented earlier in the day. Steve had known about you not going to prom because, of course he did, Dustin tells him everything. You assured him it wasn’t a big deal, just wanting to get out with your movies. 

Settling on The Outsiders because you could stare at Rob Lowe all day, you pop the tape in and settle on the couch with your favorite blankets and your bowl of cookie dough. You can only eat about a quarter of the dough before your stomach has had enough. It sits on the table in front of you as you watch the rest of the movie. It’s not even eleven by the time the movie’s over but you don’t feel up to sitting through another one. You take the bowl of cookie dough back into the kitchen and stick it in the refrigerator. Thoughts of what’s happening at the prom have been trying to jam their way into your brain all night, but without the movie to distract you, those thoughts finally break in. Is there a slow song playing right now? Are Eddie’s hands on her hips or is one wrapped around her back while the other holds her hand? Is he having a good time? Are they playing any music that he likes? What did he end up wearing? You know you’ll end up seeing pictures but you’re not looking forward to seeing how pristine Chrissy is all dolled up when she’s naturally so beautiful on her own. Right now, you can imagine she’s wearing a garbage bag and her hair is all rolled up in curlers and her makeup looks like a clown’s. But once you see pictures, that illusion you’ve clung to will burst like a bubble in your heart. 

You press the heels of your palms to your eyes to try and stop the impending tears from falling. A few deep breaths and you get it under control. This heartbreak shit sucks. 

Before heading up to your room, you grab a water bottle from the fridge and your blanket off the couch. On your nightstand is a small radio and you click it on so you won’t be alone in silence with just your thoughts for company. The sheets feel cold and crisp as you slide into them. Putting your blanket back on top of you, you curl up on your side and nuzzle your face into your pillow. The light’s still on in your room, but you didn’t feel like getting up to turn it off.

The dial on your radio must’ve gotten knocked at some point - which happened often as you fumbled with things on your nightstand constantly - because smooth jazz starts playing and you huff a laugh into your pillow. You weren’t moving to fix that, either. When your parents come home, if you’ve already fallen asleep, your mom will turn both the radio and light off for you. 

But the jazz is actually more soothing the longer it plays. It calms your frayed nerves and helps you start to doze off, body finally giving in to the exhaustion you’ve been feeling from all the stress lately. 

In your half-asleep state, you hear your parents come home. They’re not exactly quiet walking around downstairs, but they also probably didn’t expect you to be sleeping this early. The thudding of your mom’s heels coming up the stairs echoes in the quiet hallway, drifting into you even over the radio. The footsteps keep coming towards your room and you’re looking forward to the sweet darkness you’ve craved when your mom gets to your room. But the lights don’t turn off. Instead, the bed dips next to you and you feel someone lay down beside you. 

She means well, you know, because she knew that you were bummed to miss prom, even if she didn’t know why. But the last thing you wanted right now was to have her try and talk to you about how you’re feeling. You know you’ll lose it and end up crying yet again. She stays quiet beside you though and you’re thankful for it. 

“I know you’re not asleep.”

The deep voice startles you and your eyes snap open. Eddie’s laying down on his side, facing you, head propped up on his arm. He’s smiling at you. It’s the first thing you notice before your eyes travel down, taking in the suit he’s wearing. Partially a suit, anyway. He’s wearing nice black slacks, which you didn’t even know he owned, with a maroon button up shirt. No jacket, but you’re not sure if he had one on earlier or not. He’s still your Eddie though, because he has his pick necklace on and his many rings adorning his fingers. 

“Look at you.” Your voice sounds a bit froggy between almost being asleep and all the crying you’ve done. “Not a stitch of denim in sight.”

Eddie chuckles. It sounds so nice. He leans over and presses a kiss to the top of your head.

“What’re you doing here?” you ask.

“Came by to see my best girl,” he says. Maybe he still says it out of habit, but you’re pretty sure you’ll be losing that title shortly. 

“But prom,” you say, whinier than you intended to. 

“It’s over,” he says.

You frown and crane your neck to see the clock on your dresser. The neon green tells you that it’s just after one in the morning. You must’ve dozed longer than you thought.

“How was it?” you ask, bracing yourself for the answer. 

“Pretty much how I expected it to be.”

“Oh yeah?” The fake smile on your face is starting to feel second nature, and you hate it. “Everything you’d hoped?”

“No,” he says with a laugh. He shakes his head and twirls the ring on one of his middle fingers with his thumb. “I was right the first time. Shitty music. Horrible punch - which Principal Higgins was guarding like he was trying to keep the Huns from invading China. People at our school can’t dance for shit, myself included. And to top it all off, my favorite person wasn’t there.”

Your brow scrunches together and you sit up in bed.

“She stood you up?” 

“What?” Eddie asks. When he realizes what you mean, he closes his eyes and smiles. “No, you dork. I meant you. You weren’t there.”

“Me?” you ask. The skepticism in your voice cuts right to Eddie’s heart. He frowns and scoots forward on the bed so he can rest his hand on your hip. 

“Yes, you. You’re doubting that you’re my favorite person?”

“Well, kind of,” you say quietly. 

“Why?” he asks, and his frown makes your heart plummet into your stomach. 

“It’s just, you were so excited to go with Chrissy.”

“I was,” he admits. “But just because I had a crush on a girl doesn’t mean that you’re not still my number one.”

Had. The one word sticks in your mind and you know there are other things you should say, better things, but the question is burning your tongue so it has to come out.

“Had a crush?” you ask. 

Eddie nods and rubs his thumb over your hip bone.

“Turns out a lot of crushes can go away quickly if you actually spend time with the person.”

“Did she say something? Do something?” you ask.

“No,” he says simply. “She’s great. There was just nothing to talk about after the first twenty minutes or so. She knows nothing about my interests, and I know nothing about hers.”

“Just didn’t click?” you ask.

“Yeah, exactly,” he says. He’s silent for a moment, mouth pursed in thought. “This is a horrible analogy, but it’s what came to mind. It’s like when a present is sitting there in front of you, and it’s wrapped beautifully. Ribbons and bows and all that jazz. You just stare at it and want it, imagining what kind of fun thing could be inside. Then, you finally get it, you can hold it in your hands. You open it and it’s a new shirt. It’s nice, but not what you were expecting. You don’t dislike the shirt, it’s just not the present you wanted.” 

“Look at you with the metaphors,” you say with a smirk. “Senior English three times and you’re a full-on scholar now.”

He rolls his eyes at you and playfully squeezes the skin at your hip.

“I was being serious,” he says.

“I know. And I get it. You kissed a frog who didn’t turn into a princess.”

“And you thought I had an odd way of putting it,” Eddie says with a laugh. “But I didn’t even kiss her before I knew there was nothing there. Once the excitement wore off it was pretty boring, actually.” 

“I’m sorry it wasn’t what you wanted,” you tell him honestly. 

“I’ve always known the prom itself would suck. Just thought it might be fun with the right date. And it might’ve been, but I didn’t have that.” He takes a deep breath and looks into your eyes. “I should’ve brought you.”

The tears are coming but you force them to hold their position. It’s hard not to yell at him that that’s what you’ve wanted all along. But there’s no point. Any begging or pleading before the prom wouldn’t have gotten him to agree to take you. So, instead of living in the ‘if you realized this sooner I could have gotten to go to my prom’, you let it go by and just appreciate the fact that he wishes he had gone with you instead of Chrissy. 

“But I’ve had an idea,” Eddie says as he pushes himself off your bed. 

“And what’s that?”

“Well,” he says as he walks over to your closet. “First things first, I’ve got to see what we’re working with here.” 

“Why?” You scoot down to the foot of the bed to see what he’s doing more clearly. He’s going through your clothes, inspecting every piece, and deeming them unfit for whatever scheme he’s cooked up in his brain. 

“You’ll see. Wait. Are you kidding me?” He reaches into the back of your closet and pulls out the gold dress that you had bought for prom. “You told me you didn’t get a dress!”

“How do you know I haven’t had that dress for a while?” But your blush won’t let you get away with the lie.

“Well for starters, the tag is still on it.” He brandishes it to you and you huff.

“Okay, yeah, yeah, I had a dress. But I didn’t want to go, and I didn’t think you’d end up riling through my closet anyway.” 

“Put it on,” he says, tossing its hanger into your lap.

“I’m sorry, what?” The dress tries to slide from your lap to the floor, so you pull it up and lay it down on the bed next to you.”

“Put it on,” he says slower this time, as if that should clear up everything. 

“Why?” 

“Because I want to dance with you,” he says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “I mean, I’d dance with you in your sweats, but I thought you might want to get all dolled up like me.” He smirks and runs his hands down the buttons of his maroon shirt. 

“You want to dance with me?” Maybe you’re still asleep and this is all a dream. 

“Yeah.” Again, he says it as if it’s something you do every day. His casual tone is making you think you’re the one who’s not making sense. 

“Okay,” you say as you stand. “I guess I’ll go change.”

“This is your room,” Eddie says, heading to the door. “Change here, I’ll wait out here.” He walks into the hallway, closing your bedroom door behind him. 

You slip the sweatpants down your legs and tug the sweatshirt off over your head. The single strapless bra you own is at the bottom of the drawer and you have to dig your way down to find it. The gold dress has a halter neckline so there’s no way you could wear a regular bra underneath. You squeeze the bra on, and even change your panties from blue ones with butterflies on it, to one of the few lace ones you own. 

The dress unzips easily and glides down your body as you get situated. You can’t zip it yourself, but Eddie can do that for you. Most of the makeup you own is in the bathroom, but you can make do with the little bit sitting over on your dresser. Looking in the mirror, you do a soft layer of makeup and then inspect your hair. It strikes you as funny when you see yourself in a golden dress with makeup on, but total bedhead up on top. You yank the scrunchie out of your hair and shake your head to toss your hair around. It looks better but not great. Your eyes land on a silver hair clip dotted with pearls and you reach up to tuck some of your hair back and secure it with the pin. There. The look is done. 

When you open your bedroom door you expect Eddie to be waiting there but you don’t see him. You stick your head into the hall and look both ways but see no metal head. 

“Eddie?” you call.

“Coming!”

He jogs out of your dad’s office a few doors down, carrying a few sheets of paper. Eddie comes to a halt as he takes in your appearance. Heat blooms in your face as you watch Eddie scan every last detail of this ensemble. 

“You look gorgeous,” he says. It’s enough to make you pass out, but you somehow stay standing firm.

“Thank you,” you say. “You look very handsome. Did I tell you that when you first got here?”

“No,” he says with a chuckle. “Just a remark about me not wearing any denim.”

“Which is truly a miracle. But you do look handsome. Very handsome.”

He smiles and takes steps towards you, paper still in his hands.

“What’s this?” you ask.

“I’m not very good at origami, but I did my best to turn this sheet of paper into a corsage.”

Your heart leaps at his words and it’s another battle of wills with your tears when Eddie slips his improvised flower on your wrist. Some tears win the battle, and they trail down your face. Luckily, you were smart enough to apply waterproof makeup. 

“Eddie, this is…” you trail off, not having the words to express how you’re feeling. 

“You wanted prom, so I’m giving you prom.” He takes both of your hands in his and guides you back into your bedroom. He closes the door behind him with his foot, his eyes never leaving your face. 

“Can you zip me up?” you ask. He nods and you turn around. His hands against your back sends a shiver up your spine and goosebumps break out over your arms. You hear him chuckle and he trails the tips of his fingers over your shoulders as you turn back around.

“What’s with the smooth jazz?” Eddie can’t help but laugh at the saxophone solo coming in over the speakers. 

“I hit the dial again.”

“Well, let’s fix that.” He bends down and turns the dial to find a good station. The static goes in and out, some songs coming through in pieces, or sounding like they’re underwater. It finally lands on a clear station and Eddie grins in triumph. “Perfect. Love Comes Walking In.”

“You know I love Van Halen.”

Eddie stands up straight and takes the few steps over to you. He bows in classic dramatic Eddie fashion, and he comes back up with a frown on his face.

“You’re not wearing heels. Or shoes at all.”

“Eddie, I would’ve kicked them off the moment I got there anyway,” you tell him with a laugh. “Barefoot is fine.”

“Just checking. Want this to be an authentic impromptu prom for you.”

You giggle and Eddie reaches his hand out to you. You take it and he instantly pulls you in and holds you against his body. It would be a miracle if he couldn’t feel or hear your heart beating so fast it’s like someone is dribbling a basketball beneath your ribs. His right hand takes your left and he twines your fingers together. His other hand snakes around your waist until it settles warmly on your back. You place your other hand on his shoulder and smile up at him.

“This is already better than actual prom,” he says. “Good music. Perfect date.”

Red rises to your cheeks and you duck your head shyly. 

The pair of you sway to the beat of the song, bodies moving along with the rhythm. Eddie spins you and it makes you let out a giddy peal of laughter. He pulls you back into him and you wrap both arms around his neck. He places his hands firmly on your waist as you start to sway again. 

“Thank you,” you say.

“For what?”

“You brought all the best parts of prom to me. I didn’t have to suffer through the shitty parts. I’ve got my dress, my music, my favorite person. It’s perfect, Eddie.” 

“I’ll dance like this with you anytime,” he says. “All you have to do is ask.”

The way he’s looking at you stirs some butterflies up that have been dormant until this point. He’s never looked at you this way and you’re not sure what it is. You know every Eddie facial expression and what they mean, but this one is new. His face is soft, and his eyes are wide, as usual. The brown irises are twinkling and there’s the barest smile on the left side of his mouth. 

“What are you thinking about?” you ask. 

“You,” he says. No further explanation, which leads your mind to grasping for answers as usual. 

“What about me?”

“Just…you.”

“Okay, I take back what I said about being a scholar now. You’ve lost the ability to words,” you say and wrinkle up your nose playfully at him. He catches you by surprise, though, when he leans forward and presses a kiss to the very tip of your nose. 

The blush you had before was nothing to the one now gracing your features. Eddie chuckles when he sees it and leans forward to rest his forehead against yours. 

“Do you want to have another prom tomorrow?” he asks.

“What’s that entail? Dancing with you?”

“Yes.”

“Good music?”

“Of course.”

“Can I wear comfy clothes?”

“I’ll be wearing mine.”

“Hmm,” you hum, pretending to consider it. “Can we get food too?”

“Whatever you want.”

“I like the sound of that,” you say with a smirk.

“Is that a yes?” Eddie asks.

“Eddie, I’d have this kind of prom with you every single day.”

“Don’t tempt me, sweetheart.”

[balkanradfem]

I love the diversity of self-sustainable life! I never have to do the same thing 2 days in a row! Every day I’m learning new things and gaining new skills, and each one I learn will provide me with a different option and gain in the future!

Last week I was all about canning sour cherries but this week I discovered some wild plums and figured I could make them into jam, so I started to get on that! But, then while removing seeds I realize they’re very watery inside, and that I could probably make a very easy freshly squeezed juice out of them, so I did! And guess what! It’s awesome! I got to try a new variety of fresh squeezed juice just because I accidentally discovered the fruit on my way foraging around! How cool is that!

And I’ll get a wild plum jam which is also an item that I’ve never seen, tried, experienced or is available at the store. That’s just neat!

I’m finding mint and rhubarb and eating cucumbers for the first time this year!

And then next week I’ll probably have bunch of tomatoes and will be trying out all tomato recipes I’ve been missing from last summer, and I might try new recipes too! And this year I will have enough green beans to try drying them, I am dying to see how that turns out. I’m already drying zuchinni because I found out this winter that it tastes incredible in a sauce!

And it’s not all food-related activities, last week I got some unwanted clothes from a friend, was able to keep some, and send some to other friends who I knew could use it - I also gained new sewing materials that way, and I could make another shirt now, or use it to put together a rug or a rope!

I also went looking into nettle more, and found out that old people used to use it to fight joint pain, and they would purposefully sting their wrists and ankles and pained joints with nettle, because it improved circulation and nerve function. I thought, well maybe that would work for me, and tried it on one wrist, and it was pretty funny because it only hurt for the first few seconds, and then my wrist didn’t exactly hurt that day, but it was prickly and weird and then I realized it was just one annoyance replaced with another, and this was probably a trick for actual old-age joint pain, not psychosomatic pain I experience. But I tried it and it was fun! I’m going to look into willow as a pain-relief next.

I also found out that in some cold climates, you can grow potatoes in the fall then keep them in the soil thru all winter, how cool is that! That’s something worth trying!

How exciting is that? Instead of having to repeat a job every day, to constantly be about new stuff, having a different type of activity and learning experience every single day? And all of the activities are volountary, if you don’t go looking for a specific plant or you don’t go planting it, you just don’t have that, and life goes on! None of it is punished, you cannot get fired, you make what you want to have and what you find fun to make. This is enriching life!