#thatsnotlove

[thatpropornchick]

You don't get to force anyone to respect your boundaries in a relationship. You have to give your partner the freedom to choose. If they choose not to respect those boundaries, leave. Be with someone who has the same morals as you, who believes the same things as you when it comes to topics you find important. You are not respecting your own boundaries. Every time you call these men addicts, you give them the opportunity to disrespect those boundaries, again and again. Stop attempting to control these men using an addiction model that doesn't even apply to them, and start standing on the ideologies you claim to care about.

[radfemsiren]

Hi! I’m a young Black woman (19 turning 20 soon!) that is trying to liberate myself from the incredibly misogynistic, religious and oppressive beliefs that I was raised with. It’s not easy but learning more about radical feminism has really helped me and your blog has contributed a lot! I was wondering if you had any literature or media that you would especially recommend? Thank you 🫶🏾

Happy birthday! Thank you for the ask❤️ I’m so glad my blog as been helpful for you !

Here’s a free google drive of radical feminist literature Here , here’s the post going over the project and titles you’ll find!

When it comes to other forms of media , I really like this growing TikTok account about the dangers of porn and rape culture called ThatsNotLove. HannahBerelli2 on TikTok has great content too and has her own podcast!

When it comes to books for beginners, I love Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez, it’s about data not including women and how it directly harms us, and is great for hard science facts supporting radical feminism.

I also like The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolfe, and We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is another easy introduction! Andrea Dworkin is more challenging but a great writer! Many works are excellent and often quoted on here, like Right Wing Women, Woman hating, and Pornography. @radfembooks is a great resource on here if you want to find direct discussions of the works mentioned!

I have to admit I’m not well read on feminism that specifically focuses on black women, so if anyone has any recommendations, feel free to add to the post! Also if anyone else has great beginner book recommendations as well… I love Dworkin, Greer, and Beauvoir as much as the next gal, but they can be intimidating to start out with!

[welcome2grlwrld]

#informedconsent #ihatecorn #cornkillslove #anticorn #prolove #exoduscry #fightthenewdrug #ftnd #thatsnotlove #thatsanaddiction #notconsent #consentmatter #women #protectkids #protectwomen #protectboys #protectgirls #internetsafety

#onlinesafety they're masturbating to the #childexploitationprevention in these #stopexploiting #godlovesyou #jesuslovesyou #godloves ships

[denimbex1986]

'Sex scenes have been a part of television and movies for my entire life. So that’s at least a couple of decades of sexually explicit material in your entertainment. I’m not even that old. And there are plenty of movies and television shows that had sex scenes prior to me joining the world. My point here is that there have been sex scenes in media for quite some time...

So maybe it’s because I have just always watched things with sex scenes in them, or maybe I am just built differently than the latest group of people talking about this, but this aversion to sex scenes that’s popping up on social media is really weird. In recent years, a new idea has emerged—that sex scenes “don’t help develop anything” in terms of plot, which is not true. Famously, all of Javier Peña’s sex scenes in Narcos give insight into where his character is emotionally.

The latest “outrage” has to do with Oppenheimer, as audiences go on social media to complain about Florence Pugh and Cillian Murphy’s sex scenes. The film features two sex scenes that many have called “unnecessary,” or suggested that taking them out of the movie wouldn’t hurt it (which is not true). This new need to censor movies because of your own ideals or discomfort is putting your own thoughts and feelings above everyone else’s and that’s a problem we need to unpack. Made so much worse by social media.

It’s not everyone else’s problem! There are people on TikTok, like user ThatsNotLove, pushing the narrative that if someone watches “corn” (the code word for porn on TikTok) in a relationship then that is considered cheating. These are some of the same people pushing the narrative that the sex scenes in Oppenheimer are not crucial to the story. Moreover, these individuals who don’t want to see sex scenes (whether it’s because they consider them to be pornographic or because of their own personal reasons) should quite frankly be making these choices for themselves only.

Going on social media to talk about sex scenes in a negative way, dismissing their importance in film and television, or pushing the narrative that things of a sexual nature in media are unnecessary because you don’t want to see it is censorship, plain and simple. It also plays into a bigger social and cultural issue.

Right now, the topic of conversation is Oppenheimer, but the idea that sexuality or sex of any kind in media is bad comes from a conservative talking point. Even the most wholesome queer media, like Heartstopper, is being censored because conservatives think it’s being used “to recruit your kids.”

...If you think that a movie or a show “doesn’t need” a sex scene, then you are not paying attention to what that scene might actually have to say about its characters. If you’re that upset about a sex scene, maybe don’t watch movies! Help yourself by not putting yourself in that situation. Instead, you’re going to try and force your views on everyone else? Enough.'

[doubleca5t]

Saw a trans person I'm mutuals with on TikTok repost a video from her where she argued that men mature slower than women because they get addicted to porn at age 12 and stop emotionally maturing because they filter all of their human interactions through the lense of porn. This woman is nefariously pushing purity culture propaganda by misattributing the consequences of patriarchy to symptoms of looking at porn while hiding the ball as to why she's so opposed to porn in the first place. Her name on TikTok is ThatsNotLove and if you see her videos you NEED to view her through the lense not of a woman scorned by a man who betrayed her but as an evangelical Christian proselytizing to an unsuspecting audience because that's what she's actually doing.

I've been following this lady on TikTok who runs an anti-porn account out of what I can only describe as sociological curiosity. Basically, when I first encountered her videos I sniffed out pretty quickly that she was both a) very very cishet and b) a religious conservative and listening to her talk about sex and relationships has become this fascinating window for me into how The Other Side lives.

Like one of the main conceits of her content revolves around the fact that men have to constantly fight against being overcome by lust, which is hilarious to me, someone who has read fanfiction, because acting like cishet men are somehow uniquely prone to being gooners is so deeply ignorant of how anyone outside a religious conservative community lives.

[the-eternal-quest-for-balance]

#hopethiswasajoke #justathoughtthere #somewillbelievethis #thatsnotlove ...

[gelatin-skeletons-mangled]

Never date someone who will use your mental illness against you or to their advantage. For example like having a fight over something stupid as fuck and then being purposefully brake checked and screamed at all the way home until you’re hyperventilating just to be calmed down to then be screamed at and have yet another panic attack. No one deserves that ever. I know people deal with much worse but god get out when you can, who knows what could have happened in the future. I still remember the smirk he made at me when I couldn’t catch my breath. Who the fuck tries to turn your anxiety into a weapon they can use against you? So fucking cruel. 

[the-afternoon-delight]

Repeat to myself

Love is not yelling. Love is not calling you fat. Love is not judging every decision you ever make. Love is not forbidding to hang out with friends. Love is not calling you stupid for dropping out of college. Love is not treating you like a maid. Love is not telling you what to do. Love is not calling you lazy. Love is not jealousy.

[xqueserasera]

“Anybody can say they love you, yet spying isn’t love. It’s obsessive and controlling behaviour, reflecting insecurity on the part of the perpetrator,” she says. “Controlling, secretive, and spying behaviour is mental abuse and should not be tolerated.”

As a person, I am not perfect. I have done and said many things I regret. I have been insecure, too, and also obsessive. I have never spied on anybody because I believe people have a right to their privacy.

I know I should feel violated and disrespected by the person who did this... I won’t make excuses for them- or excuses for my own actions. However I do feel a deep sense of empathy for their mental state. I have also been that scared partner that couldn’t trust people. Being cheated on was devastating to me and caused this feeling in my stomach that seemed like a huge hole was ripped into it while the rest fell through to the floor. It’s that sinking feeling and also wanting to feel safe like you can trust another person... but you just can’t.

Monitoring somebody is unhealthy and infringes on the opportunity for healthy and positive communication. It exhibits the idea that a person is an object to possess. People are just people. They do shitty things. They also do great things. Humans are vastly complex. They make choices and later on find they regret them and they ask themselves “why... why would I do that to them? 😞” I know. I’ve done that, too. You try to control when you feel powerless.

In hindsight, there should be opportunity to reflect and take responsibility for statements and actions. Nothing is forgotten, but with honest change and understanding there can be growth. Not every relationship makes perfect sense to anybody.

I know I could turn them in for committing so many crimes and hurting me in that way... but I saw the good in them that others might not have seen. I did love them and I only have compassion toward them. With time, maturity will come through experience. I don’t expect them to ever apologize to me because I don’t think they’re capable of doing so, so I won’t hold on. Atleast with having this truth I can move on and close that door for good. I thought there was this deep union, as in some sort of “twin flame” energy. Maybe it is. But if these things don’t change- it’s definitely not and never was.

[overcomeandgrow]

So if that’s what you feeling and receiving. Run from the giver of this false love. #overcomeandgrow #falselove #painisnotlove #run #relationships #toxicrelationships #emotionalabuse #lovelanguage #thatsnotlove #lovedoesnthurt #attachmentstyles #unhealthyrelationships #foodforthought https://www.instagram.com/p/B80h82cnYrw/?igshid=14vjda1r8q7u8

[nicsplace]

Exactly this. People are going to treat you HOW YOU ALLOW THEM TO. Stick up for yourself and say "Enough is enough. No more." And then take a deep breath and dust yourself off and move on. It's not easy, but it's necessary. Be strong enough to walk away from whatever and whomever is disrespecting you. #GraceIsntALicenseToContinueBadBehavior #RespectYourself #DeepBreath #TakeABreath #DustYourselfOff #MoveOn #EnoughIsEnough #ThatsNotLove #YouMatter #BeStrong #SelfLove #ForTheLoveOfYou #MomTalk #SingleMom #TexasGirl #Over40 #GenX #Follow #StrongerThings #BetterEveryDay #Influencer https://www.instagram.com/p/ChQI2pRpaJt/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[denimbex1986]

'Oppenheimer features the first sex scenes of Christopher Nolan's career, and one moviegoer has now gone viral after sharing a video on just how to avoid experiencing them. Starring Cillian Murphy, Nolan's latest film is a historical biopic about the man dubbed the "father of the atomic bomb". The movie has been a hit with audiences and critics alike, but does carry an R rating for, among other things, nudity and sexuality.

Now, as Oppenheimer's box office domination continues, benthany on Twitter has reshared a video that has since gone viral of one moviegoer who was interested in watching the film but very much not interested in experiencing the sex scenes...

"This actually makes me feel like I'm losing my mind," bethany writes as the caption. Jourdan (@thatsnotlove), the woman in the video, is responding to a comment from a TikTok user who is apprehensive about the movie's nudity, and she relays that the strategy that worked for her husband was to cover his eyes during the scenes in question. The video has prompted a slew of largely mocking replies on Twitter questioning why the presence of nudity in the film is such a large issue.

Oppenheimer's Sex Scenes Explained

Oppenheimer's sex scenes are a first for Nolan's career, and the film is his first R-rated effort since Insomnia in 2002. Based on the book American Prometheus: The Triumph and Tragedy of J. Robert Oppenheimer, Nolan's intention was clearly to delve into the film's subject as he had never done with a character before, chronicling his life and career in an intimate fashion.

One important aspect of Oppenheimer's life was his tumultuous relationship with Jean Tatlock, played in the movie by Florence Pugh. The pair was romantically entangled for a number of years before her untimely death in 1944, but their relationship would continue to play a crucial role in the American theoretical physicist's life for a long time after her passing.

Notably, Tatlock was a member of the Communist Party USA and Oppenheimer's affiliation with her was later used against him in a security hearing. Oppenheimer's sex scenes are in service of Nolan's attempts to create a more complete portrait of the man's life, with one particularly chilling one being used to speak to his and Kitty's (Emily Blunt) states of mind during the security hearing. While aspects of the scenes have proven controversial, such as the inclusion in one of the Bhagavad Gita, the scenes are not gratuitous and are arguably important aspects of the film's narrative and its subject.'

[seag0at]

I still have horrifying nightmares about my ex boyfriend and it is so disheartening. I can't promise that I'll keep my composure if I were to see him again. It scares me.

[dontstaysilentorg-blog]

The experiences I had did make me believe that there is more out there in the world than we can physically see. I once met a friend's mom that told me she knew I had a guardian angel that helped me through times I was considering suicide. It wasn't something that had ever crossed my mind, that some entity could come and affect my life in some way. Some other events happened, that I couldn't explain, that some would say were 'supernatural' events and made me think about spirituality a lot more. That wasn't even the important part. It was the fact that I started to believe in something. Faith can actually be healthy. It doesn't matter what religion you follow or if you don't follow a religion at all. Tolerance is important and none of us are wrong for what we believe in. Positive thinking is important. Having faith in yourself is important, you can create your own reality and believing in a higher power doesn't necessarily interfere with that. Take responsibility for yourself and ask for help when you need it. If no one will listen then ask the universe for help, you might get a sign, you never know, try to keep an open mind. Be respectful and kind towards what others believe in but most of all believe in yourself. Believe in something.

[holisticspiritualguide]

Deep⚔️ #deep #takenote #traumabond #friends #thatsnotlove #holisticspiritualguide (at Orlando, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8uqUBnJb7w/?igshid=4t68vf1ka41b

[kilobby]

Loving someone who doesn't want you? That's not love.