#dontstaysilent

[wheresthedamncoffee]

To the people who listen to the politically involved music of John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix, The Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Sex Pistols, etc. I know you see the world for what it is. The current injustices that are being protested, that is what the artists were talking about, use your voice the same way they would, the time is now, don’t stay silent. Stand. For. Peace.

Text “ FLOYD “ to 55156 to demand for justice

[6lunar6princess6]

Reposting information from the post I shared on my story yesterday from @anarchopuppyism so that once my story disappears you all can still find the info that was shared. Whether you can’t join a protest for health reasons (both mental and physical), age, financial situation or any other other personal reasons you can still help in making a change. One of the easiest ways is to share information on your social media accounts, and if you can do that you can sign petitions, donate, make calls and share resources to your followers, family and friends. It’s 2020, there needs to be changes made to how this country runs. #blacklivesmatter✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 #dontstaysilent #beapartofthesolution https://www.instagram.com/p/CA6Ss0bAL1t/?igshid=8j5z18ccpu8x

[littleprincessana]

Black lives matter

[daddiesthorn]

I know my worth, and I want you to know yours. After more than 6months of trying to keep positive from physically being attacked and more than that of mentally being abused I want to say to all those who've been through it or who are going through it. I'm here for you. I'm in physical pain daily and my emotions get the best of me some days. But I know my story may help you with yours so please don't hesitate to reach out to me. #domesticviolencesurvivor #helpingothers #knowyourworth #knowledgeispower #dontstaysilent #getoutbesafe #mystorymatters #yourlifematters https://www.instagram.com/p/CAwHCTOlOA3/?igshid=1bgzdhm2yx3uu

[kalianoble]

When the world demands your silence...

Scream your loudest

So they can hear your rage.

-Me

[what-part-of-forever]

DO NOT MAKE THIS GO UNSEEN.

the media are racist,

your neighbors are racist,

presidents are racist,

politicians are racist,

your friends are racist,

influencers are racist,

your family members are racist,

IF THEY SAY NOTHING ABOUT IT AND ACT LIKE THIS VIOLENCE AGAINST BLACK PEOPLE IS NORMAL.

[survivingdomesticviolencenpd]

Twisting the Knife

Just when you think that they can't hurt you anymore than they already have, they twist the knife further.  Not because you have done something or tired to do something.  No tit for tat here.  It is only because they can and they make sure to do it in the most personal way possible.  They look at themselves as the victim or at least that is how they portray themselves to others when they are telling their stories.  Yet they don't tell the whole story and they never share the things that they have done to inflict pain and suffering. 

My husband wants to tell everyone that he was only paid a small amount of money to give up our marital home.  What he isn't telling people is the facts about the shape that he left the house in.  Or that he let it fall into foreclosure and��stopped paying the bills there that were in his name.  That he physically caused damages to the house itself by throwing blood all over the walls, the cabinets, the closets, the floors, the leather furniture, and even the staircase  He let the dogs dig down into the sub-flooring of the first floor bathroom allowing brown recluse spiders and ants into the house.  He let the dogs urinate and defecate in the basement without cleaning it up prior to his leaving.  He plugged the drain in the basement causing it to flood which lead to damages to furniture, cabinets, appliances, the cement floor, and storage items as well as mold and mildew damages.  Did I mention that he let chickens live in one of the bedrooms and allowed them to urinate and defecate all over everything in that room to the point where black mold was growing under the area rug.  We had a chicken coop outside that was completely fenced in and there would have been no logical reason to bring chickens into the house.  He also stopped paying the trash bill and piled trash up in the house, around the outside of the house, and let the trash over flow from the garbage cans sitting on the side of the house.  They were filled with water, maggots, rotten potatoes, rotten eggs, and even a blanket.  There were containers filled with chicken urine and feces piled up on the back porch.  Rotten eggs and water were left in a cooler in one of the flower beds.  He had let water drip into the furnace causing it to completely rust out and left us with no heat.  The air conditioner wasn't working.  He dismantled the kids rooms and put everything in a huge pile in the living room.  He removed items from the house that he was not supposed to take from the house.  Some of these were things that had sentimental worth to me.  A quilt that my grandmother made me.  My high school class ring.  Jewelry my mom had given me when I got married and when my sisters got married.  He used all of the toilets in the house and hadn't even bothered to flush them.  He even left dirty dishes on the stove, the counter, in the sink, and in the dishwasher for me to clean. 

Can you guess who was left to clean up the mess, pay the bills, bring the mortgage up to date, pay for a new furnace ($7000), fix the air conditioner, repair the floor, take care of the basement?  He got to walk away without having to pay for any of it and I ended up having to pay him to walk away from it.  Imagine that.  Seem a little unfair or unjust to you?  Everyone was dumbfounded by it including me.  As this wasn't enough, he then refused to sign the paperwork to which he had previously agreed to.  He wasn't responding to his lawyers calls or emails.  His lawyer starting forwarding and copying my lawyer to show that he was doing his due diligence, but his client was not following through.  It took a month to get him to sign the court document and email it back to his lawyer.  Yet he is still not following through on his end of the terms and now we are headed back to court since he is now in contempt of court. 

Twenty-one months and counting since the children and I left and we are still having to deal with him and his hurtful ways.  I told my lawyer that I do not feel as if we will ever be free of him.  We have had to fight him and the smear campaign that he started against us since leaving.  I've had to deal with him destroying my credit by not paying bills.  The stress of getting the house out of foreclosure and paying off his debts just to have services turned back on or reinstated.  The scrubbing and bleaching of the house to get it back to where it was before I left.  A friend of mine ending up in the emergency department after she was bit by a brown recluse.  The infestation of mice and ants caused by the chickens living in the house.  It has been a nightmare.  If this is how he left us, then can you imagine what it was like for us when we lived with him?

[fangirlshandbag]

Read This! #Repost @lhamiltonbrown with @get_repost ・・・ I think this article by white #basketball player #kylekorver is very relevant to the debate about #racism in the knitting community. He writes very honestly about his #whiteprivilege - He is writing from an American viewpoint but it is relevant to other areas of the world - I love his quote “I believe it’s the responsibility of anyone on the privileged end of those inequalities to help make things right”. Link in my bio 😍 #blackknittersofinstagram #knittersofinstagram #knittersofravelry #diversknitty #knittersofravelry #whiteallies #blackpeopledoknit #blackgirlsknit #blackgirlscrochet #dudeswhoknit #menwhoknit #realmenknit #antiracism #whiteness #speakout #dontstaysilent #civilrights #utahjazz #rolemodel #blacklivesmatter https://www.instagram.com/p/BwCln-XlmFs/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=6trtfcfh3tqe

[musings-about-men-with-badges]

Be bold. Speak your truth. Support humankind.

[fistfullofboomstick]

This is mainly for my swedish audience, but it is a problem all over the world. Women who train bjj and get harassed or get unfair treatment on the mat and off the mat around the world. Dont be afraid to speak up and tell yout stories. This got to stop! 🚫 . Swipe even if you dont speak swedish @infinitydestro have something important to tell you in the end. . . . #bjj #johlor80 #bjjgirlsrock #bjjgirls #empowerment #empoweringwomen #sverige #bjjsweden #bryttysnaden #dontstaysilent #jiujitsugirls #jiujitsuforeveryone #jiujitsuproblems #equality #supportbjjgirls #donttouchme #martialartsathletes #martialartstraining #jiujitsubrasileño #shuva #sweden (på/i Umeå, Sweden) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWRQf9WjsL7/?utm_medium=tumblr

[dontstaysilentorg-blog]

I stayed because I held on to the good memories of the relationship and let them rule out the bad memories. I was in love but was unaware of how much of that love was due to manipulation. I was convinced that I could help him and heal him from his past. I didn't realize I couldn't change him.

[magek-blessings]

*NOT MY PHOTO. I’M JUST MAKING A STAND* So this morning this photo of this unknown girl pops up on my feed WITHOUT THE DOTS ON THE BOOBS and showing her face. I chose not to show her face or her name because I don’t want to promote her. IG’s reason of why it showed up on my feed is because I used the hashtag “image” on a post at one time or another. CRAZY! 🤬 I did what I thought was right and I reported it and blocked this person. I mean sheer wet cloth over naked boobs is INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL CONTENT to me but I guess it isn’t to IG. **SWIPE LEFT TO SEE EDITED PHOTO** 😡👎🏽 I’m not against body image, I live in Hawai’i and wearing a bikini is the norm but this kind of thing shouldn’t be public and showing up on other people’s private feeds!! Lesson: Hashtags are hashtags and you never know what it’ll bring to your feed. So be careful on how you use a # and protect your space, know what shows up and BE REALLY GOOD AT BLOCKING cause if you’re not protecting your space, especially if your kids are on your IG watching reels, no ones going to do it for you!! #inappropriatecontent #blockposts #makeastand #dontstaysilent #igiswrong #igiswrong4this #wrongiswrong https://www.instagram.com/p/CTAnHFOhEHa/?utm_medium=tumblr

[madihavlogz]

Happy Friday Everyone 🌹... The weekend has officially begun! Looking forward to some serious self care this weekend... alhamdulillah (all praise belongs to Allah (God)). (Not affiliated with or soliciting any of these products). Just trying them out as I want to avoid the risk of visiting the salon. #finallygettingthetime #specialweekends #selfcareisimportant #survivingnarcissistabuse #domesticviolencesurvivor #lifecanbebetter #lifeafterabuseispossible #dontstaysilent #safeisbetter #putonyouroxygenmaskfirst #targetedparent #selfcareisntselfish #maketimeforyou #spaathome #avoidingsalon #selfcareduringcovid https://www.instagram.com/p/CD49hNcD4Cm/?igshid=1bc8pir8lcsav

[dwtopperfan]

Now is the time to be uncomfortable. To have those talks. To learn. To take action. Do not let others try to keep you from speaking up, taking action, & learning. They are probably just unhappy with their selves because they are afraid to do what you are doing. #lifelessons #getuncomfortable #talk #askquestions #listenandlearn #dontstaysilent #bethechange #bethelight #blacklivesmatter #loveislouder #letlovewin https://www.instagram.com/p/CBO7ZU6l_Xb/?igshid=1l3mrhgyd5h8k

[erinschenherr-blog]

New video #justiceforgeorgefloyd link in bio please check out do not be silent #blacklivesmatter #georgefloyd😔🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 #racialjustice #dontstaysilent #speakup #cometogether #pulluporshutup #thesystem #thesystemisbroken #prejudice #floydfamily #blackawareness #silenceisviolence (at Sunbury, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/CBHMxrrJYle/?igshid=49e9kssjcn6i

[survivingdomesticviolencenpd]

Holidays - The Hard Times

Holidays can be a difficult time of year for most anyone due to the level of stress and the additional financial burden that they bring.  Spending special occasions with a narcissist can be even more difficult than the norm.  People who have NPD don't look at holidays as a time to spend making memories with people that love them.  If it doesn't revolve around them, then it doesn't suit them.  Taking the attention away from them is not acceptable and they will most likely make the holidays memorable, but not in a positive way.

The last Christmas that I spend with my husband was the worst holiday we had spent to date.  I had invited my parents over to watch the children open their presents.  He was fixated on the fact that he felt more money had been spent on one child over the others.  He wouldn't let it go.  Just kept harping on it.  Then got angry over it.  He had a complete and total meltdown in front of the children and my parents.  It didn't matter that the same amount of money had been spent on each child.  He didn't want to look at the receipts to prove it was true.  Nor did it matter that I had spent more money on his gifts than I had on the children.  Or that he hadn't purchased a single gift for me.  The only thing he was honed in on was his belief that one out of the five children had more money spent on them. 

I was embarrassed by his behavior.  I kept trying to talk him off the ledge and show him that if he would only look at the receipts he would see that the numbers didn't lie.  The kids were frightened by his ranting.  My parents were horrified over his angry outburst.  My mother asked me if he was willing to act like this in front of them, what was he doing when no one else was around?  I tried to assure my parents that we would be okay.  He would settle down after a bit and it would be like it never happened.  He just needed time to process it.   My parents weren't ready to believe that this was the case.

The following week my mother called me.  She was asking us to leave.  It was a hard conversation to have because he did not want to leave my side while I was speaking to her.  He was always insistent that he be able to listen in on my conversations.  If I had nothing to hide, why would it be an issue for him to listen to what was being said by either party?  Only people who were liars and cheats didn't want their partners knowing what they were saying and doing according to him.  I tried not to cry and pretend that it was a normal call and she was just calling to check up on everything and everyone.  He listened to the conversation for a few minutes and then walked away.  In those brief moments, I told my mother that there was no way for us to leave.  There was no where that we could go that he wouldn't be able to find us.  He worked for the Department of Defense as a 911 dispatcher.  He had access to databases that could look up information and he had used it to access driver's license information, home addresses, and even license plate information.  She tried to tell me that she and my father could protect us and we could stay with them.  I told her that she didn't understand the person we were dealing with.  It wasn't that simple and I wasn't putting them at risk for trying to help us escape.  I told her that I loved them and I would be in touch.  As he was walking back towards me, I wanted it to seem as though everything was normal and there was nothing to her call.

It would be 4 months later that someone outside of the house would call the police.  That an educator would make a separate phone call to child protective services regarding an overheard conversation that one of the children had with another student.  That child protective services would contact animal control and advise me that if I went back to him or made amends with him that they would take my children away from me.  I could not have imagined what would happen when someone else took fate into their own hands and the cards landed where they did. Sometimes it is hard to fathom that that was almost 2 years ago and we are still trying to recover from it.  That he is still doing things to try and get back at us even though we had protective orders in place and lived in hiding for almost a year.  All we can do is keep surviving, but the holidays remind us of the shear hell that we have been through and that we must keep on moving forward.