#thats the only reason why im calling in sick

[itsjaywalkers]

guys i got home really late and . kinda drunk . so my friend convinced me to call in sick tomorrow (i've never done it not even when i was actually sick) so i texted my manager, the one who's on shift tomorrow and i'm hoping for the best........... wish me luck?

[seventh-district]

.

[playingonedchess]

like i tend to hate every fandom cause its always annoying some way or other but theres actually so much i literally bloody despise about the ace attorney fandom and all that random fanon they made up without even realising it has absolutely nothing to do with the games. it isnt even good fanon if that could even exist most of it is total utter rubbish

[bugflies00]

sorry this is referencing a few month old post/s you made about the dream situation and a question you’d asked about dream stans, you can delete this msg if you want since it’s not as relevant anymore. Again I’m sorry if this is weird or you don’t gaf (that’s fair bc who does lol)

TW for grooming and dream being fucking gross. You can just scroll fast and delete if you don’t want to read or deal with this, I understand that

-

To preface Im about Tommy’s age now, when I was 15-17, used to be a huge dream stan, and I was very vocal about defending him online. —I was extremely parasocial and weird, and looking back on it I really regret how I acted.

So. Idk how much people who weren’t stans of his saw, but dream- as stupid as it sounds- was our friend.

He had bath calls with us, sleep calls with us, he told us in depth about his personal life and his health issues and his trauma and his moods and his habits and just basically everything. Most of his interactions with us was through his discord, and then someone in the fandom would stream his discord calls for people who weren’t there. A running joke was that dream had a parasocial relationship with us. there was absolutely no gap between creator and fan, he followed me more than once, he brought fans onto his discord streams and talked with them and he knew a good amount of us by name. He called us cute and talked about how much we all (as individuals) meant to him,

when drama happened he’d usually either do a space/call or go on his private and vent to us, there were I think two separate times he’d have full panic attacks over drama happening, and we’d have to talk him down. He also would, when responding to callouts or accusations, use arguments that his fans were making.

He did this during almost all his pitfalls, including the grooming allegations, his wording was often taken word for word from tweets by people I was friends with. I dropped him after the initial allegations, but for a while after i still checked in bc i was really hoping he’d be innocent (he wasn’t) and i can confirm he still does this. He also regularly dmed his fans, mostly his black fans, to ask for “help” on being less racist.

I don’t use the word “grooming” lightly, but dream was and is absolutely grooming his audience. Thats why dream stans seem so cult-like these days. The amount of guiltripping, lying, forcing an us vs them mentality, and manipulation I saw this man pull was actually sick. He’d frequently, privately, to us, vent about tommy or quackity, and about how “all his friends hated him” and “we were all he had left” (legit, not joking). He is extremely good at emotional blackmail, he is good at making his fans hate other creators and turn on them, he is very good at utilizing his tears and using wording that he knows will make his mostly teenage fanbase think he’s a good kind person.

He wants to impress on his fans that he really was just a kind person, the only kind person and the only voice of reason. That’s why when the Cantu thing happened, he started posting “messages” of him being so kind to the Uber driver. He needs his fans to think he’s a kind and loving person, and that Tommy and quackity and literally everyone who’s pulled away from him was just a fake friend who couldn’t be trusted. He somehow was always, always the one being fucked over.

I remember when I told my friend about dream (this friend had a completely neutral opinion on him and barely knew the guy beyond his manhunts) and he told me that sounded like grooming.

He gradually isolated his (primarily young, female) fanbase using private accounts, discord calls, Snapchat, and whatever else. He got extremely personal with us far beyond the level any creator should be, he used kindness and flattery (like calling us “mature”. Also legit) to make us feel genuinely loved by him, again, NOT in the way a creator loves their fans. In the way a friend loves their friends, even in the way a partner loves their partner. He lashed out at us and had panic attacks when we did criticize him, he used tactics to make us think he was always right and good, and more than that, make all his detractors seem like terrible people out to get him AND us, he played himself out to be the perpetual victim and used carefully cut clips and emotional manipulation (like how he brought up his ~poor innocent family~ when harassing quackity. Weaponizing trauma like that was something he did ALL THE TIME to us whenever he was criticized.) in order to use us against people he didn’t like, making us take the bullet for him.

He uses his kindness and supposed goodness as a weapon, he used Tommy’s own trauma around doxxing against him when Tommy dared to criticize him (“I supported you when you were getting doxxed, yet you won’t do the same for me?”)

He used trauma to relate to his audience, making us feel like he was the only person who got it.

It’ll sound stupid, but it was genuinely really scarring. The way he made me and my friends feel was so confusing. I often found myself feeling used and violated, but also like I was in debt to him. I dreaded when he’d have fans on call, I dreaded him but also he felt like all I had. The tone of him and the fandom was that “we have to defend him at all costs, they’re out to get him and we’re the last line of support he has”. It was embarrassing, it was stressful, it was horrible. I wasted so much fucking time and energy on him.

it was really traumatic and distressing, especially as a teenager who’d already been at a vulnerable point and used him as an escape originally. I know that sounds melodramatic but I mean it.

He is a groomer through and through. He’s barely getting any new fans, but he’s barely losing any either bc the grasp he has on them is so tight.

Worst of all, if you leave the fandom, you’ll lose your friends and become an enemy. He encourages that behaviour and that mentality. He encourages harassment of his ex-friends, he encourages harassment of anyone who doesn’t like him. He wants you to feel like he’s the only good person, and like he’s the only one who will care about you. And I know at least in my experience that the way I acted when I was a fan of his did genuinely cause me to feel alienated in my social life. I lost friends, I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone “safely”. That’s how he wants his fans to feel, because at some point he really is all you have.

And that’s why dream stans are still sticking around. It’s at the point where the only way they’ll leave is on their own volition, and the more publicly fucked shit he does, the less hope I have that they’ll do that.

i don’t have much to add but i agree, and several people i know who used to be big dream fans also agreed that there was a heavily insidious ‘us vs them’ atmosphere

[cantgetworsethanthistbh]

stancest prompt :3 teen! stans getting handsy in the locker room after a boxing match

another one im combining together and um anon sorry this took soooo long, im gomma be honest this was my most excited to write but it turned out sm more experimental than i expected. not sure about the end result but i suppose i could always write a second version because i just had too many ideas for this one in particular lmaooo I went with Ford having some secret sadism he is very badly repressing so thats where the freaky style comes in

And uh, another ford pov. ive gotta write one in stans eventually lmao

~~

Ford never liked boxing lessons.

He never liked that the air was rich with sweat and dust barely ventilated through the hotbox of a gym, leaving every kid melting into pools of themselves. He never liked the sounds of rubber gloves meeting skin in vicious smacks. He never liked how their god awful, shitty coach would pit his favorites against the littlest guys of the rack, watching the big kids pummel new and inexperienced in some sick delusion that he was honing their skills but really, he was nothing more than a bully letting other bullies have a sick little power trip. Ford has been on the opposite side of those fists, in and out of the ring. He knows how this works, he knows how it plays out.

If there was one thing to like about boxing lessons, it was how getting called a "freak" im the middle of a match had gotten him a couple unsavory wins (but wins nonetheless) himself through sheer rage. Ford hadn't cared about playing fair then— he doesn't have anything to prove. Not to them.

Stan would usually agree, but this is where another one of their most fundamental differences rises: Stan loves boxing.

Ford doesn't know why, nor can he truly begin to fathom how. Back when they were children, Stan had a bigger target on his back for their instructors to send their seasoned trainees after. He was tempermental, but he didn't have Ford's wit and only ever swung his fists around desperately. He got provoked into losing his focus so easily, one second he's standing, the other he's being pinned on the mat. He was always the stronger twin between them, sure, but what's good with being a strong kid in a room full of stronger kids? Most of all: he was an emotional wreck after losing, which happened really often.

Stan fell hard and cried harder. And he was beaten down for it even more in the ring, and even outside of it. Moses knows their father didn't take Stan 'embarrassing' the family very well.

And Ford knows the way he used to have swab cotton and disinfectant onto his brother's swelling face.

Ford never liked that. Ford hated that.

But Stan didn't. Stan always came back, barely healed and raring for more

And now—

"And the winner— Stanley Pines!"

The name call catches Ford off guard, dragging him back into reality as the crowd around them whoops excitedly. Up in the ring, Stan is pumping his fists in a little victory lap while his opponent slinked off to the opposite corner. Ford scans, his attention on Stan's body, seeing the usual bruises that would litter his sweaty chest and broad shoulders, some landing even on his jaw. Stan rips his gloves off and spits out his mouthguard and that's when Ford sees it.

There's a cut on his top lip, small but red and angry, bleeding into his mouth. Stan's eyes meet Ford's and he grins, not bothered by the injury as soon as he saw his brother, teeth stained red and wet with blood and spit.

For whatever unholy reason, Ford's stomach stirs at the sight of it, an aching need popping but not that Ford knows what that need actually is. The need to take care of Stan again? The need to strangle Stan because even though he clearly doesn't need these classes anymore, he still keeps going? The need to take Stan by the shoulders and—

Then Stan winks at Ford. And that makes Ford's body stiffen, skin burning, making the quiet twist in his gut deepen further.

"And you're going to drop out after this, right?"

They're in the locker room, lucky to have it all to themselves after everyone else has packed up and left after the final fight. Something had come up in shop and their parents hadn't been able to watch Stan's match, but Stan was excited to retell his great victory or whatever it is. That's not Ford's priority, and hell it shouldn't even be Stan's.

"Wha?" Stan asks incredously, to which Stanford immediately muffles with a damp towel pressing against his lip. The bleeding has slowed down enough for Ford to finally focus on after checking the other bruises and inspecting the rest of Stan's body for any more injuries before he showers. There wasn't any more, thank God, but Ford hates having to check in the first place. His brother's casual confusion ate at his nerves now too, as if Ford said something ridiculous, or he just didn't hear Ford right.

Well, Ford has no issue repeating.

"You're going to stop taking boxing classes, right?" Ford say again. Stan's brow furrowed in confusion, which Ford ignores, as he carefully dabs at his lip. "I mean, at this point it's just pointless to keep it up when you've been going for years."

"Pff, as if. I ain't stopping now," Stan replies, and Ford frowns. "Why would I?"

"Stan... you're bleeding. You're hurt."

Stan chuckles. "Yeah? I always am after a match. Earth to Super Genius Poindexter: the point is to hit each other."

"You shouldn't be bleeding this much," Ford says, gesturing to his brother's face, the cut open lip.

"Aw, Sixer, you've seen worse on my face than that, and look at it. Still prettier than yours."

"Ha, ha. Very funny." Ford huffs, annoyed that Stan clearly isn't taking this seriously. Of course Ford has seen worse, has taken care of Stan when it was worse, but it doesn't mean he likes it. It doesn't mean he likes watching Stan get pummeled even if he wins. Doesn't mean he likes that Stan is sore and winded out after a match. Doesn't mean he likes seeing his brother sweaty and exhausted and turning to Ford's hands for care and comfort, malleable into whatever Ford could want.

He doesn't like that. At all.

Stan chuckles. "I got a match next Thursday, I can't stop now!"

Ford pouts, not understanding how that could possibly more important to Stan than his own brother's request. As if he's saying he doesn't believe that stopping his lessons, stopping this, is what Ford would actually want. Which is—

"Besides," Stan interrupts his train of thought, leaning into Ford slightly, palm on the bench they occupied. "You know I ain't mind the pain, whatever it is you're freaking out about. I'm used to it."

"Stan—"

"In fact," Stan continues, using that voice he pulls to mock Ford's use of that very phrase. He grins that bloody, toothed grin again. "I kinda like it."

The twist in Ford's gut tightens once more, and all he can think is fine. Fine.

Taking his free hand to the back of Stan's neck, he crushes his mouth against Stan's, ignoring his twin's pained gasp when the split lip comes in hard contact with Ford's. He doesn't push or pull away, and doesn't protest when Ford doesn't let up, kissing him and sucking on his lips like a man on a mission. The rich, rusty tang of blood lands on his tongue, filling up his mouth and Ford moans against Stan.

Stan barely exhales out of amusement. "I knew you were into freaky stuff like that."

"Shut up."

Smashing their mouths again, Ford drops the towel in his hand to run hands through the sweat drenched hair. Practically crawling onto Stan's lap, his warm, meaty thighs under his ass. God. Ford's been waiting for this. If anything was worth sitting through another one of those matches it was seeing his brother, dripping with sweat and bulging with muscles.

And having him all alone in his hands for 'immediate care'.

And feeling his hips grind against Stan's own underneath him  or having Stan's hand around his leaking cock while they finish each other in the confines of the locker room like they have so many times before.

Cupping Stanley's face and craning his neck up, pulling him into a deeper kiss while Stan's hands go under his shirt, calloused hands on Ford's back and belly and squeeze. Ford makes a sound at the back of his throat, making him ache for some kind of retaliation. Instead of allowing Stan's prodding tongue access, Ford pulls back, taking Stan's bottom lip in his teeth and biting down. Hard. Stan jolts underneath him.

"Ow. Fuck, Ford."

"Oh, I though you liked that?" Ford sarcastically quips, not waiting  to hear the "yeah, yeah, keep going" to continue kissing and abusing Stan's already injured lips. Blood is in his mouth again from the earlier cut, and damn it it tastes good and it feels good. It's raw. Violent.

For a second Ford almost felt the appeal of the sport itself. The primal and animalistic need to hurt someone asking for it presents itself in Ford in hearing the pained moans Stan makes the more he roughly grinds his hips and presses fingers into bruises and nip at his lips and pull at his hair. It's cathartic, and it twists sparks in him like a lightning bolt, setting nerves on fire.

And this time Ford caused it to Stan. His dick is straining against his pants, begging for release, with Stan's hand rubbing against him through the fabric. Ford's own were running over his bruised, sweaty skin and sore muscles that he hadn't realized that Stan hadn't even showered yet. But Ford is going to need one too when they're done anyway, so he pulls the band of Stan's shorts enough to release his hard cock. Stan unbuttons his own pants, eyes on their cocks now, licking at his red, abused lips while Ford steadies himself on his shoulder, touching them both into completion.

"Ford..." Stan mutters adoringly and Stanford just loves the way he lets Ford take care of him like this, loves the way he goes weak in Ford's hands. Loves the way he shakes while he comes Ford's hands, and loves the way Stan obeys while Ford drags him to the shower, ready to arrive home late after another good match.

Ford liked that. Ford loved that. And he dislikes boxing lessons a little less everytime.

[iamzer0]

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚌 𝙷𝚡𝙷 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟻

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 𝙺𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚞𝚊, 𝙶𝚘𝚗, 𝙱𝚒𝚜𝚔𝚢, 𝙿𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚘𝚖 𝚃𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚙𝚎, 𝙸𝚕𝚕𝚞𝚖𝚒, 𝙺𝚞𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚒𝚔𝚊, 𝙻𝚎𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚘.

You know just before something bad happens, and that split second before it happens you feel intense regret. Yea that’s happening right now.

You turn towards the male voice and see none other than Phinks, Feitan and Shalnark. You now regret running out of miss Biskys house like that.

Phinks had shouted your name so loud it made you straighten up and forget about your sadness. Regret overtook your body instantly, RUN was all you could think.

So you started running, “wait!” Bialy said running after you “I can help you!” She says still running after you.

“BISKY PLEASE STOP CHASING ME THEY WILL KILL YOU” You said desperately. Bisky looked behind and say the 3 men catching up to y’all at record time.

“I’ll help you I PROMISE” she said diverging left, jumping up onto buildings. They didn’t chase after, because of her form they didn’t think she was a threat.

Suddenly you were tackled to the ground by Feitan. You fell with a thump, “GET OFF OF ME” you said now panicking. Feitan held on to you not letting you run away again.

Suddenly you were pulled away from Feitan, you zoomed up into the air. “AHHHHHHH” you screamed scared.

Why were you suddenly in the air? Well let’s all thank Hisoka.(THATS RIGHT IM WRITING HIM BACK INTO THE STORY)

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?” You said now in Hisokas grip.

He raced off with you bridal style in his arms. Hisoka looked down at you and smiled one of his terrifying smiles.

Hisoka had run with such sped that you had gotten whiplash. You thought about struggling but him dropping you at the speed he was going is basically the equivalent of barrel rolling out of a car.

Y’all had outrun the phantom troupe, Hisoka stopped at the back door of a bar placing you down softly. The security guard tried to stop ya from entering but he got a card to the throat.

Y’all had entered the bar gaining strange looks, y’all sat down and you unloaded everything you had when waiting to ask him. Why had he taken you from his own group, why were yall at a bar, where were the boys.

Hisoka explained everything, he had double crossed them, the boys had escaped and he still didn’t answer your question about the bar.

It was a lot to take in all at once, but suddenly a question popped into your head. “How did the troupe know where I was?” You blurred out suddenly.

Hisoka smiled a sick smile “well that’s quite simple” he answered in his signature smooth voice. “The troupe was always cautious with the things they loved” you shuddered at his words. You wouldn’t call what they put you through to be love.

“They put a tracker in your arm” Hisoka said like that was normal. You stoped breathing for a second, a tracker? You thought, once again you were speechless.

Hisoka grabbed you arm pointing at where it was. “W-what” you said in a painfully sad voice.

“While you were sleeping, that’s how I found you after leaving a happened upon one of the tracking devices they used to follow you” he said holding it up.

In a daze you lifted up your arm and used your nails to try and dig it out of your arm. You scratched through your arm, blood dripping down your arm. You had dug it out of your arm and threw the blinking sphere on the table.

You arm started shaking, your adrenaline wore off and it started to hurt but you didn’t care.

Hisoka smiled once again, you were intriguing. But he didn’t want to fight you, it was strange he saw you as somewhat family. The only reason you weren’t cooped up in some apartment was because Hisoka was to sure he could protect you.

He stood up signally y’all where leaving he took the tracker and as y’all left slipped it into a waiters pocket. People have you strange looks as y’all left, understandable I mean you are still bleeding out.

You grabbed napkins and trued your best to dab the blood. As y’all started walking you started zoning out. You mind began to wonder, you knew about his nen ability bungee gum that’s how he grabbed you, but what if it was still attached to you?

You use gyo on your eyes and sure enough it still was. He knew you were gonna run like you always did. But you knew that you could play to your strengths, feeding into their delusions until he let his guard down then you run.

That was your plan with everything because it worked so well. You needed to find Bisky and get this curse off you.

Hisoka suddenly stopped he looked around before grabbing your hand and walking towards the right. He leaned against some ally wall while holding your hand.

Suddenly someone appeared, he had the palest skin you had ever seen you would think he was sick if he wasn’t to built. He had long black hair and a weird crop top get u, but who were you to judge his fashion.

He looked at you before looking at Hisoka in a questioning way. “This is [reader] their staying with me” Hisoka said as if he hadn’t ran away from the phantom troupe with you.

Y’all started walking with the weird man, he spoke rarely but he said enough if that made sense. You gathered from his limited words that he was an assassin and he needed help with a job.

You felt something strange with him, you started tuning out their talking focused on the assassin. You closed your eyes and focused, you could hear his heartbeat it was playing a melody of death. The more you focused the more you realized how much death surrounds his overall aura.

He scared you, kinda like how Feitan did but differently. He was lean and towered over you it was intimidating.

After walking for awhile Hisoka told you to stay with the man you now know as Illumi. He turns to leave.

“Wait what? Where are you going?!” You shouted as he walked away. “He’s gonna babysit you for a little bit.” Hisoka said with a smile.

When you knew he was out of earshot “fuck you” you said lifting your middle finger towards Hisoka. You stuck your tongue out but quickly put it back in when you remembered Illumi was right there.

Y’all started walking again, it was awkward and illumi was too menacing to talk to.

You thought about everyone you met in the past months, Hisoka, Bisky, and mito were the less obsessed. Despite Hisokas weirdness it felt like a breath of fresh air talking to them you felt almost free.

You suddenly spoke up “Hey man look I know you don’t want to watch me and I don’t want to be watched, how bout you let me go and I just leave? How does that sound?” You said hopefully.

He simply gave you a look, grabbed your arm and pulled you closer as you looked like you were about to book it and he didn’t want to chase after you.

You shaked around in an almost playful manor. He gave you the run down you where joining him on his mission, while Hisoka went to the auction.

Here you were in some underground club, “stay here” Illumi said coldly before leaving to find his target, it was some rich male loser.

You saw his picture he looked like a loser, that’s what you thought at least. Suddenly you spotted the rich loser and by some chance he planted himself right next to you.

“Hey sweet cheeks~” he said in a voice that made you think he was a discord moderator.

He put his hand on your back and started rubbing your back. “Oh fuck me” you said under your breath.

He tried and failed to flirt with you, “I’m actually a minor” you said coldly “age is just a number” he said leaning in.

You decided you were tired of waiting for Illumi and decided to take care of this yourself.

You lead the perv to some back room, saying you were curious about body stuff. You held back the puke as you spoke.

He closed and locked the door, you activated your nen into some random nail you picked up of the ground, held it between you fingered and shot it at him. It hit him right in his forehead, he fell with a thump.

(Let’s say your nen is you can focus your nen into objects and shoot them out like bullets)

You unlocked the door and ran right into Illumi he was standing in the door way. He looked down and say the rich perv dead.

“Whoops…?” You said in an unsure tone.

It was an interesting night you and Illumi talked more. He surprisingly wasn’t mad you snagged his target. Yall talked about his job as an assassin, and you talked about how gay it was that the phantom troupe kidnapped you.

You felt comfortable telling him about you being kidnapped you didn’t know why.

As time passed and you talked, you felt tired and fell asleep completely forgetting about your nen curse the very thing that got you into your situation.

You woke to Illumi staring at you, y’all were in some shitty motel. Y’all left going god knows where, you tried asking but he didn’t answer.

Fuck your thought, what if he becomes insane like the rest?

After several trains yall arrived at the infamous Zoldyck manor. You knew after last night Illumi was a Zoldyck like Killua, you avoided mentioning you knew his brother that but for some reason you think he knows already.

Y’all stopped at the testing gate, he stepped back, “open it” he said blankly.

“What? Are you kidding I can’t open that?!” He didn’t seem to talk no for an answer and he would let you leave so you had no choice but to try.

You weakly pushed at the stone wall and of course it didn’t open. “Use you nen” he says from behind you.

“Ughhh fine” you say pulling the many nails you collected last night out of your pocket.

You channeled every thing you had into the nails you decided to actually try this time. You put everything into it and shot them out they clustered together and with a loud bang they landed in the stone wall.

The dust blew back as the gate slowly but surely began to slowly move.

“HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT ITS MOVING” you shouted turning around to Illumi “LOOK ITS MOVING” you said like an excited toddler discovering ice cream.

The gate stoped but you didn’t you fired more nen charged nail into the gate and with each nail it moved until it was open.

You later on the ground sighing in relief, that took a lot out of you.

Illumi pulled you up and dragged you inside before the gate closed again.

He practically dragged you up the hill to the giant mansion , after catching your breath you questioned him. “Why are we here?” You said tiredly.

He didn’t say anything, you passed a girl that guarded the way. She gave you a confused look you returned the look.

Suddenly a women with the puffiest dress imaginable showed up and started asking an insane amount of questions all at once to illuminate mostly about you.

After she settled down she grabbed you inspecting you closely. She pulled you inside, suddenly you wished you were back with Illumi. You all sat down on the many couches, with some old man named Zeno.

Illumi explained that you opened the testing gate, he talked bout your abilities saying you were capable. It would be nice if his mom wasn’t all over you it was suffocating.

Y he started talking about you staying here for a little bit. Suddenly dread washed over you, here we go again.

Sorry for not posting part 5 in like four days I’ve been busy my bad, love you all bye bye(•̀ᴗ•́)و

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

👁️👁️🔂👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️

cringe at myself.....,.....

im aa FOOOOOLLLLLLLL 🫥

Sometimes i think, im a real artist or something..

But whats even real about me? everything i do only exists online

majority of it being on TUNBLR of all places.

fragile fucking tumblr.

my entire life is my imagination and fantasies my entire life is a thoughtform. how can i be a real artist if im barely even a real person in "reality".

not even banishedgirl but intangible girl.

The other day, when i posted about how i want to use the inter net less but im too lonely to stop, i feel it came back to bite me today, in a way i didnt want at all, for the short time my blog was gone, and this brought to my attention, how truly deeply foolish i am

i could disappear so fast like nothing because its all just 👉🧠💭 up here

Even tho my blog is back now. i cant get that feeling off of me. Like yeah there no reason my blog would actually be deleted, unless you know like, tumblr just got discontinued as a website. Which is not an unlikely scenario. i often wonder how long they'll keep paying for these servers. We saw what happened with myspace...

if tumblr was gone, id really be GONE gone

like. i dont exist.

sick to my stomach all day. even if i export my blog and put it on a hard drive ... does it even matter? it literally is not even "matter" it is pixels it is thin air.

How do i be a real girl in the real world

in utena , the "real world" is actually all an illusion. and i believe that to be true for our world too. In a way ive always believed my fantasies and spirits are more real than my body

But i still do want to exist here. i almost have to live in denial about this to stay sane. But i want to exist forever. i want a normal life and friends. i want normal things.. its disgusting.. i feel sick!!!!! im so happy but im so miserable. i love myself but im so insecure. i dont understand anything. i resent fakeness but im fake too. im all just words and space and airy air air

How do i change my life how do i stop yearning to Prove that i exist..... Why do i want to prove it so bad

WHY DID I HAVE TO BE CONFRONTED W THIS TODAY WHAT AM I BEING CALLED TO DO

Like dude i am already going thru it lately. i didnt need any more crisisfuel.

IDK i have to believe its some kind of catalyst to save myself , lest i succumb to the void

it has to show me something i needed to see.

Stuff like this makes me want to disappear in a way that i have total agency over. (Not like in a killing my self way but just in a going away way.) Thats not practical though is it i know thats my evil side talking.

trapped in a sticky web trapped in this glue trap thats what gets me all defiant.

the book im reading rn is from the 70s. i wish i was writing books not posts... i wish i was meeting people in real life the way the author describes in the book. I know the vainly imagined past doesnt hold all the answers either. Good chance i wouldve been institutionalized for woman hysteria or st. But i dont like whats happening here i dont feel natural at all. And its not just me who feels it, clearly.

if only i could be the one who finds comfort in impermenance.

do i accept what im dissatisfied with, do i try to change, or both, or neither?

i am sad

i am existentially disturbed

and i am fucking arrogant 🥴

for wanting to be real.

FUCK!!!!! ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

[sillyyuserr]

posting again at nearly 1am :P

another small analysis (if you can even call it that)

what im going to be talking about takes place in jshk, chapter 79, a quick recap. This is during the red house arc, and at this point in time kou and nene are in the red house, whilst akane and teru are at the shrine talking to what seems to be either a worker at the shrine or a family member/family friend of teru’s (and aoi’s in the far shore but shes not very relevant in this chapter).

after they fail to get something out of the “family friend”, teru exhaustedly lyes down and starts “ranting” to akane ab how hard his life is

and whilst doing this they somehow get to the topic of aoi. And akane starts to wonder if teru GENUINELY likes her. And i mean we can kind of tell he doesnt, but its still a little odd to see him act like this

does he like aoi? We never truly will know, but theres alot of things implying he doesnt like her (and vice versa) but im too lazy to go digging those up so just take my word for it 😭

but akane doesnt even look mad here??? he’d usually either bitchslap someone for talking ab dating her or even hitting ppl with a fucking spiked bat who glance at her

but this? who knows. And not to mention teru looks almost sad when akane mentions him possibly liking her. Almost as if he misunderstood his intenions??

This is very interesting to me, he looks almost distant, but not in the way of no one understands him or he wants to get away from everyone but in the “im trying to tell you what i mean but you’re not getting it” kind of way.

you see it too right? Pls tell me im not insane 😭

but why is he looking like this at akane? Well lets come up with a few ideas. one reason could be because he’s possibly “hinting” to akane that he likes aoi, although this doesnt make much sense considering he literally asked him that straight up and thats his literal direct response.

another reason could be that he’s sad akane’s brought-ten up her again. Not because he dislikes her, but maybe a little reminder that akane still likes aoi, and that he’s still JUST out of his reach.

After that akane talks about going to save aoi on his own since teru’s being a sad sack and wont do it himself, leading up to these 2 panels.

LIKE UHM???? HOLD ON

Lets look closer here 😭 not only does he have the most love-struck eyes ive ever seen, but also he’s blushing??? ON BOTH SIDES?? Also the way his expression takes up the entirety of the upper half of this panel shows us that this is kind of important and for us to really pay attention to it.

ive seen him make this face TWICE. Both times looking at who you may ask? Take a guess

I have so many takes on terukane but no one wants to listen to them so i go to tumblr and share with my singular follower💀 im not even exaggerating

One sided terukane makes me SICK 😭

[lehguru]

LATINO SONGS + ONE PIECE CHARACTERS

latino songs i relate to one piece characters and why!

info: not proofread as always, put spotify links in all of them, open to suggestions if yall want this to b a lil series or sum lol, mentions of stabbing (?)

PORTGAS D.ACE : SOU MUSA DO VERÃO - marshmello, luísa sonza

there's something about this song that makes me think of ace in the most... unhinged way. the main chorus is the thing that really stands out to me, because not only he would look gorgeous in a edit with that, it have the same hot energy that ace exhales. he is the kind of man we would see shirtless and imagine things that become a concern to feminism; and that song is exactly what we all, ace simps, want to say to him.

NAMI : ASSANHADINHA - pocah, mc durrony

nami gives the vibes of someone that does not care, period. she just does what she wants and is not afraid to own it too. i can definitely see this song on her playlist too, not only because of the way she relates to the lyrics, but also the beat itself. another big reason is simply: my girl likes to throw it back, and this is a great song to do it without problem.

NICO ROBIN : PILOTO - flora matos

i put piloto as robin's song, because 1. i ship her with franky; 2. she would totally be the type of person (the 'pilot') that is described in the song. careful? caring? loving? a good person? a scholar? pays attention? courageous? a mate? truthful? a armor bearer? if you need, dangerous? she is all of those things and much more. and that's why she will be forever the woman that holds my heart and she should hold yours too.

SABO : EU VOU COM CARINHO ELA QUER COM FORÇA - mc don juan, mc g15, mc davi

this one i will keep short and simple. a loooong time ago i saw a tiktok that had this song as a "sabo sounds like this" and i couldn't unhear it since (i cant find it again, im sorry); plus the lyrics match very very well. thats it. i cant elaborate further.

USOPP : PAPIN - mc kevin o chris, mc caja

the lyrics say everything i need to say: "fell for my talk, it's over". it's proven over and over again that usopp can lie to people easily, when he wants to. and, after the live action, i can't stop thinking about usopp trying to win you over with a sweet talk, his eyes and voice tone nervous, but so sweet it wins you over. plus, the song weirdly fits his vibe.

SANJI : RITA - tierry

i kinda refuse to explain this one, because it's almost a joke for myself, but i shall translate some of the lyrics (think that he's singing it to you): "oh love, come back. come back, love, and i will forgive the stabbing. oh, love, don't leave me alone, come back and i will pull out the charges."

DRACULE MIHAWK : ME RECLAMA - mambo kingz, dj luian, luigi 21 plus, ozuna

THIS SONG IS SO MIHAWK CODED, IT MAKES ME SICK. he knows he's the best, he always goes to you when you call him and he's not afraid to tell others that it's "not his fault he is the one you call for". his entire persona with this song in the background makes me shake, he would look extremely ethereal with his hand on your waist, pulling you closer, and his head tilted – all while his lips are whispering sweet spanish into your ear.

2023 © content belongs to lehguru, but the characters used in them belong to their respective creators!!

[totheidiot]

Lawlight coffee shop au thought that wont leave my brain. Since L knows Light's schedule [its probably the same all of the time because of university] what if Light didn't come in one day. L is outside per usual waiting for Light to show up, and by the time he's supposed to be there, he isn't. Maybe he's late [he isn't late. In all of this time he's never been late.], its not a huge deal. Eventually L realizes that Light is Not Coming and calls him [somehow L got him to exchange phone numbers. Light probably did it out of politeness. L's contact name is probably 'freak from work' or something] because texting has a delayed response and he's curious to hear what made Mr. Perfect and Professional late. A very sick, tired and confused Light picks up the phone without reading the contact because as previously said he is sick, tired, and confused, and as soon as he hears L's voice he recognizes it [because of course he does. This guy comes into his job every day].

L says something about Light not being in work. Light tells him that he's sick and has a fever. L asks if he's taken medicine. Light thinks its a stupid question because obviously he did. why wouldnt he. Its common sense [he just says yes]. L asks what his temperature is because he feels like being nosy about this and Light just says "its not that bad" [it is that bad] which is Suspicious because if it really wasnt that bad he wouldve just said a number. He doesn't press on it much because Light can just hang up on him if he annoys him too hard and that would suck.

Anyway it becomes very clear that the only things Light has done are take his temp, take medicine, and call in sick to work. So L decides hes going to go over there to check on Light [dont ask how he has his address, i dont know] because he sounds like shit and who else is he supposed to bother at the coffee shop. Light objects to this and says that hes fine but L is still going [obviously].

Anyway they hang out and stuff [L has hand sanitizer on him and makes a point of using it way too much he is NOT getting sick] and Light is pissed off about the whole thing [naturally] but at least he isnt being accused of being a wanted criminal so thats a plus[?]. L leaves after a little while and after this i imagine that Light is like "wait. Does he care. Why does this not bother me." And realizes that hes starting to see L as an actual friend and is so disgusted/confused and decides that the sickness is getting to him [its not that] and agressively doesnt think about it or the fact that the feeling doesnt go away after hes healthy. L's already had this realization but it was more like "huh. I guess we are friends." And thats it. Anyway they dont talk about it after this but it bothers Light soooo bad. [If this is innacurate its because its late and im tired but this had to leave my brain. Also i had to retype this because i accidentally closed tumblr after getting really excited about getting a card in proseka so ✌️jeez this is way longer than i thought lol]

THE WAY I WAS ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENING??? like a few days ago, i had this half-baked idea where light doesn't come to work for whatever reason (sickness wasn't my only idea for why he was off like maybe it's sayu's birthday and that's why he needs to go home or something but THIS IDEA. he js off because of sickness yes). so light wakes up with a cold and fever one weekend and he is like fuckkkk and he just calls up the cafe and calls kn sick and asks if mikami can take his shift today as well as do his own. kind of on topic but also not i figured out matsuda + mikami + light's schedule. light takes evening shifts three days on the weekdays and mikami takes the remaining two days along with working with light together for one day. matsuda works the morning and afternoon shifts in the weekdays because he's not a student like light and mikami is. on the weekends, light works the morning shift that kind of falls onto noon (like 9 am to 1 pm) and mikami works from 1 pm to 5 pm. MOVING ON FROM THAT.

so L pulls up to the cafe in his usual morning time in aaturday, expecting to find light there but he is surprised to find that there's another barista, mikami. he js deeply confused like light-kun is the most punctual man he has ever met, he works at the cafe in all of his shifts without fail. and a part of him is. disappointed that he is not catching sight of light. he needs to find out what's going on with him. he enters the cafe, not joining the ordering queue though because the only person he is ever getting service from is light. he kinda just hangs around and he is about to call light to learn why he wasn't here but then, mikami spots him and he recognizes L. mikami's shifts coincide with light's shifts sometimes so he'll sometimes see L, talking to light and getting his order from light. also light complains about him sometimes since mikami and matsuda are most probably the only people he actually talks to and can call 'friends', other than L of course.

so mikami is intrigued, calls L over, says hello, tells him that light talks about him sometimes. he informs L that oh, light is off sick so he is taking over his shift. L is like oh?? he leaves the cafe and goes to give light a call. LIGHT HAS HIM SAVED FREAK FROM WORK, THAT IS SO SO SO CANONNNN. post learning his name, i think the first thing light does is so so smugly, take out his phone, go to his contacts and saves his number as "L". it's such a small move but he is filled with so much pride and so smug about it.

BUT ANYWAYS, calls him up and light answers without much regard. even his voice sounds sore and L pesters him with questions. light is so annoyed and tired about it and L can tell from his tone that though light is Very sick, he isn't doing shit for it. so L doesn't know his address just yet but still, he is going to show up and make sure he actually does something. L is like, "light. give me your address. i am coming to you and light is like ??? no???? why do you need my address???? (he is polite about it though) but L is ADAMANT, he is GOING to come to light's house and they are going back and forth about it but light is completely out of breath and so sore and too tired to even argue about it more so he gives up and is like, "fine. i'll text you my address."

so L pulls up, even though he had been trying so hard to convince light to come to his house to check up on him, he would still be such a bitch about it. he pulls up in a face mask, gloves, hand sanitizer and light rolls his eyes but nevertheless, L does try his best to kind of take care of light. L takes his temperature, fusses over it when he finds that it's so high. makes him hot tea and soup. it's actually kind of soft and tender. L doesn't leave light's side until it's night, when he makes sure that light goes to sleep and only after that, does he leave. light feels this strange feeling of warmth inside him and when L was taking care of him, he was so red and flushed. he doesn't think deeply about this. he blames it on the sickness.

one little, tiny detail. you mentioned in an ask that light has a cat in his apartment and i had this sudden mental image where the cat is kind of rude and antisocial, doesn't like people at all. it took so long for the cat to even warm up to light but as soon as L came into the apartment, the cat was all over him. following him around, rubbing against his leg. all of that.

THIS WAS A LONG POST BUT I HOPE YOU GET MY VISION YES. KEEP SENDING ME MORE ASKS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

[ganondoodle]

as i was awake in the middle of the night for like 2 hours bc i felt sick i had more somewhat random totk thoughts

one being that i really hate how raurus response to concerned zelda is, after sonia died in that almost funny how little impactful it was way, "im sure you are here for a reason" (actually, i hate how often this sentence is used in general to .. idk i guess its supposed to be inspiritational???)

bc what does that mean actually? him saying that to someone who got there absolutely by accident really just sounds like "i dont care go figure it out yourself bc i dont want to think about anything concerning you or your troubles lol" i guess its meant to sound like OOOOH fate has BROUGHT you here bc you have to furfill a role you dont know yet (spoiler its being a sacrifice girl with no personality) and besides me hating the 'inescapable fate' trope in general (at least the way its usually done in these games, which is not to struggle against it but willingly accept whatever you are told and pretend thats good) its really jsut goddamn boring and is really only an excuse to well .. ignore her and her trouble; shouldnt you, if you were actually such a cool guy like the game wants me to believe so bad, do everything in your power to get zelda back to her own world before shes pulled even further into the war you caused now that her only ""mentor"" that could help her get more use of her pretty much useless sudden powers is gone too?? i know shes basically dead wife sonia replacement (can of worms ugh) but it still grinds my gears whenever i think of that cutscene, bc i cant help but hear it as the lamest excuse in existence to not care about her and just kinda .. see what happens which in this case means leave zelda completely on her her own since both rauru and mineru die as well (honestly shouldnt rauru have thought about like .. any plan to defeat gan besides dying himself, given hes the oh so cool and goodest guy king whos only mistake was not stabbing gan the second he stepped into their kathedral castle thing, like even if you had a plan it can still fail but it seemed like he just kinda went in with a handful of people that didnt seem to know each other at all, never got names or faces -or unique voices for that matter- to fight gan face to face inlcuding the girl that came from a different time and had nothing to do with any of this conflict and couldnt even really control her sudden new powers just seems pretty stupid)

thought 2

how totk really feels like botw but for the people who didnt like shiekah tech, its not a sequel, its botw again, but version of only sonau, its like a pokemon game that had two versions but one has weirdly incoherent story and acts like the other never existed jsut as a whole its like retreading the same points but worse, all shiekah tech that was so integral to the world and had such a long history just vanishing and no one caring about any of it like it never happened, HELL the titans were called divine beasts in english but i guess they werent divine or important enough to keep around LOL champions WHO and isntead a never before seen or even heard of race for that matter showing up and planting their ass in every place the shiekah were before, dare i say it feels weirdly manipulative, like either them or some outside force erasing every fact about the ancient shiekah and replace them with sonau stuff bc they are the hot new shit now

this is a point that just doesnt stop bothering me, how the shiekah tech seemed so carefully designed and integrated into botws world and story, its a difficult to keep balance after all, integrating high tech stuff into a medieval setting, but they made it work! and then totk comes around and throws a bunch modern day tech into it puts some vague greenish stone filter on its exterior and call that even better more ancient tech; why did they even bother to make pottery inspired laser shooting spider legged robots so well integrated when they throw a car and rockets into the next game without a thought and call it a day, what was the fucking point

it feels like someone was dead set on having a set of legos thrown into the game it had no place in, if you want players to build whatever they want make a building game instead!! especially if you are just gonna throw it in with seemingly no consideration how out of place it feels togehter with the fACT THAT YOU ALREADY HAD AND ANCIENT HIGH TECH CIVILIZATION WITH A VERY DISTINCT AESTHETIC THAT WAS ALREADY WELL INTEGRATED INTO THE WORLD YOU ARE PLANNING TO REUSE WITH ALOT OF MYSTERY AND UNKOWN STUFF ABOUT THEM TO EXPLORE FURTHER YOU COULD HAVE USED!! but i guess they just "didnt want to play with you anymore" and that so much so that they went out of their way to erase every trace of it, i dont think the words shiekah tech are ever used in the game, and the purah pad and her towers just drive me more isnane bc they are the same shit but called different and also much worse, liek the purah pad isnt some more developed shiekah stone, no its a glorified camera with a teleport function and thats it

(i know i said this before but i really cant stand how obsessed every single NPC is with sonau shit, you get told to your face every second line of dialog that they are so cool and are so mysterious that it just makes me annoyed of them even more, the game is obsessed with shoving them everywhere and telling you over and over you too should obsess over them, they werent weird like that about the shiekah stuff in botw?? the biggesst talking point in botw was calamity ganon ..... which makes sense and in totk its like ... gan is mentioned what, in a newspaper article??? once???and then not even by name i think???)

aside from that big point which will never let me go, its also just .. its not moving forward anything, it actively walks BACK the progress that was made in botw, call me dumb but i dont really count moving one step up in the social roles of each race as a character development (for the side characters like the champions desc- ahem SAGES) but mainly zelda ... god how dirty she was done, totk pretty explicitely makes her regress any development she made in botw aside from she likes link uwu and some people like her too, but also not enough to notice that that weird zelda being all evil and weird isnt her (INLCUDING THE CHAMP- SAGES WHO YOU ARE SUPPOSEDLY FRIENDS WITH??? you dont have to be a genius to pick up on that my god, were you all given the mc dumbo potion or what)

she gets put back to square one, back into the little itty bitty princessy maiden role forced upon her by her royal parentage, this time rauru edition, back into a white little dress, back into the scared puppy eyed teenager, back into a situation she cant handle, back into losing everyone around her (tho honestly botw made me care more about rhoam than totk did about rauru), back into being forced to do a big sacrifice- but worse actually

in botw she went to FIGHT AND HOLD GANON IN THE CASTLE SO LINK HAD TIME TO RECOVER AND IT WOULDNT DESTROY THE LAND!! and you are telling me in totk rauru takes up her botw role and she bascially killed herself to ... restore the mastersword.

......... she ... she did that only to be a glorified version of the stone pedestal in the forest. and then she gets returned to normal itty bitty girly no problem via magic sparkle beam at the end and

DOESNT

EVEN

REMEMBER.

it really is just botw but worse, you even get yet another ghost king of hyrule to guide you around (rhoam did it better fight me ... we dont talk about the questionable choice to make himself darker skinned when posing as just some guy)

i honestly dont think i was ever truly taken aback by anythign that happened in botw, while in totk, the further i played, the more i had to fight with myself to keep the feeling of unease, disappointment and betrayal down

its such a god damn shame, totk should have stayed a DLC, i will forever mournfully dream of a game that explores more of the ancient shiekah, doesnt erase integral parts of the world, developes characters more instead of making them regress back and make them end up even less developed than at the start of the game, dives into buried secrets and mistakes of dark pages of history without giving into a weirldy nationalist(imperalisitc?) narrative and lets characters have some agency for once

if it werent for the yiga i might have actually considered refunding the game, just to be at peace with myself

anyway, aboslutely incoherent word vomit.

[ravewing]

Could you talk about your infection au? I'm invested in it and I've been thinking about it all day

YES HULLO !! i dont want to spoil anything too much and im also working on a field guide sort of thing for the different stages of infection so im gonna try not to talk about those rite neow BUT im so glad that people r enjoying it! so id been seeing these scary mlp infection things ALLL over my tik tok feed for weeks and i was like .. yanno .. itd be really silly if i made this wof .. so i spent like 3 days mulling over what i could make the infection actually BE and i almost made it like the icewing plague but like it went scary but i didnt really know how to keep going with that so then i came up with a super smart idea which turned into this😋i dont wanna say where it started yet cuz ermm lore stuff but i will say that liek in the story the infection doesnt officially have a name yet so everyones just calling it like. the sickness at jade mountain. most of the infected originated IN jade mountain with the first symptoms being noticed in moon and turtle respectively, and then with the icewing students. i cant tell you guys how they got sick bc again . lore ..... but i think that its like kinda possible to find out. but i dunno. vulture and fierceteeth are also sick. there is ONE singular factor that unites these 4 + icewings, which miight b the reason WHY they got sick.kinkajou technically SHOULD be sick but she isnt for another reason that i cant say but if you really look into wof lore then i think u can figure it out idk. the infections transmitted via saliva/blood transmission, so mainly bites. tail barbs of infected sandwings are capable of spreading the sickness. there are 4 stages (5 if you count death) and it takes around 3 to 3.5 weeks for all stages to finish,, by ep3 the sickness has been around for ~2.5 weeks. the only KNOWN cure is amputation of wherever the infected area is,, so MUCH easier in early stages, unfortunate if its on an inconvenient spot, and impossible after hives start spreading. obvi flame had to be important bc i heart flame and i was like .. wait .. hes a healer in canon ...... so that worked out perfectly !! ik that in canon liana is like one of glorys MANY bodyguards but idc shes a healer here bc ermm i said so . also liana and mango r dating but i dont think that its relevant to the plot theyre just girlfriends in my head . as of right now kinkajou and peril are the only known immune dragons, with kinkajou for reasons currently unknown and peril bc . yknow . shes on fire . glory is in close contact with ruby and both kingdoms have taken measures to notify their kingdoms; the rainforest is under a sort of lockdown with rainwings on constant patrol/lookout for outsiders entering, they accept anyone who isnt infected to stay there for refuge while the skywing kingdom is in basically total lockdown other than ruby's messengers. ruby and glory also exchange their respective kingdoms medical knowledge, with the skywings having very good technology and rainwings having an expansive knowledge on medical herbs. nobody has heard from coral- the last thing she did was call for anemone's return back to the kingdom, and once she arrived, they all went underwater and have since then cut all outside contact. the mudwings are aware of the sickness but have so far done nothing about it; moorhen has warned her subjects but thats really it. i havent really decided what the sandwings or the icewings are up to but let me tell you guys its looking really rough for the icewings . so far it looks as though royal icewings are more resilient- tundras currently sick, but the sickness seems to be progressing much slower. this was initially believed to be because of the cold, but then other icewings started getting sick, and so its believed to just be a royal thing- likely something in their genetics. icicle is also sick but shes in stage 4 .. pray for my girl guys. lynx is helping snowfall out the best she can, but with the population getting increasingly sick seemingly spontaneously, its extremely difficult and stressful. the talons have quarantined sanctuary too. ok im outta characters but ya ty 4 the support!!

[svgvru]

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓! since its NNN, im doing a fluffy or angsty event thingy. (i will be making a smutty fic on that). so...FLUFFVEMBER OR WHUMPVEMBER whatever the fuck you want to call it. regardless, there's gonna be one fic for every week, (maybe two if i'm feeling spicy) plus a fic on the last day of the month. but im not going to push myself this month. regardless, angst prompts and fluff prompts will be listed below (these will be used in the future).

just request a prompt (up to five) with any character thats in my fandoms list. here's the form to fill out!

𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙

1. "we can be sick together." 2. "your problems are my problems, okay!" 3. "i'm always here for you, i need you to know that." 4. "can we do that again? my eyes were closed." 5. "i love you." 6. "yes, i unfortunately love this idiot." 7. "your lucky you're cute." 8. "you and only you." 9. "oh? do i make you blush?" 10. "a hug . . . i want a hug." 11. "you don't need to do anything, i've got you . . . just say yes." 12. "you're everything to me." 13. "my place, is by your side." 14. "you're the only one who—the only one who's made me feel like . . . this." 15. "you're special. i can feel it." 16. "my heart yearns for you, and you only." 17. "if you can't find a reason to live, live for me." 18. "nah, your stuck with me." 19. "are you sure about this?" 20. "i have never been so sure about how i feel than now." 21. "it think i deserve a reward . . . maybeee a kiss?" 22. "do you want my jacket?" 23. "trust me, i can read you like a book." 24. "i've missed you." 25. "i am never leaving you, understand?!" 26. "just—just a little longer, please?" 27. "aren't you handsome? well, i mean your not handsome—wait no! i mean you are handsome! but i didn't mean it in a—well maybe i kinda did . . . just—! im gonna shut up . . . " 28. "the second you flashed that smile, i fell in love." 29. "you're my favorite . . . everything." 30. "i've got this, you rest." 31. "Just close your eyes . . . i promise you, it'll be all over soon." 32. "oh. oh." 33. "as much as i hate to say it! . . . i need you . . ." 34. "you're love is like a blanket . . . and fortunately i'm always cold." 35. "i will always choose you. whether it be over someone else, or the world. it will always be you."

𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗦𝗧

1. "i loved you . . . " 2. "you were everything to me . . . " 3. "i can't—i can't do this anymore." 4. "no, you're a widow (can be replaced with anything) who's taken her grieving too far." 5. "i guess i was too niave . . . " 6. "why did you make me fall for you?" 7. "nope . . . what i've fallen for is a lie." 8. "you don't get nor desreve a second chance!" 9. "guess i'm just the rebound . . . " 10. "you . . . turned me into this." 11. "i can't fight anymore . . . i wan't to lose this battle. please let me lose . . . " 12. "i wish you were gay . . . " 13. "i wish you were a girl." 14. "what if . . . what if i just let it kill me?" 15. "we aren't—good for each other . . . not anymore." 16. "you're not good enough for me." 17. "oh. oh." 18. "what are we if we aren't together?" 19. "i . . . I HATE YOU!" 20. "you lied to me . . . ?" 21. "my heart, my soul, my body . . . all of it to you. and you fucked (/fell for) someone else?!" 22. "you promised me . . . " 23. "im so sorry. im so so sorry!" 24. "i couldn't keep my promise . . . " 25. "please—please don't leave!" 26. "i never should've let you in." 27. "what makes you think you still have that privilege?" 28. "you can't leave and then demand something from me . . . " 29. "you broke me so devoid of care, threw me away like a toy . . . and you want me to welcome you back?" 30. "no . . . you lost me." 31. "oh? well where's that bitch?" 32. "you thought that wouldn't hurt me?" 33. "i . . . i hope they make you smile." 34. "no. this—is not who i fell in love with. you are no longer my husband/wife and i am no longer your husband/wife." 35. "give me my ring . . . you don't deserve to wear it."

more prompts are likely to be added! if there are requests, then i will update this post to have a masterlist! 2/5 SLOTS FILLED.

[cherry-dream-star]

I watched Sonic 3 last week now Ian’s holy shit. It was truly the best fucking thing I’ve ever seen holy shit. There’s so much I want to say about it and just saying it was so good isn’t enough IT WAS PERFECT SO PERFECT I LOVED IT WAHHHNHHHH. I had to share my thoughts on it so here there are!

WARNING SPOILERS BELOW FOR SONIC 3

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Anyways I am gonna just ramble out everything I need for this because the brainrot is so real AND I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS SHSHHSEHHSSN

- i actually cried quite a lot actually so many moments just tug my heart especially the flashback moments with Maria and shadow man their story is so tragic they deserved so much better 😭 I kept jumping and giggling in my seat and just tried to keep my composure over certain moments ESPECIALLY WHEN LIVE AND LEARN PLAYED I HAD TO KEEP MYSELF FROM SINGING ALONG HWBWHDHDEHHWHJWJSJ.

- God the way the movie opened, where Shadows beginning to wake up and he’s seeing memories of Maria already like okay straight away to the pain and angst I see

- ALSO THEY COULDNT HAVE WRITTEN MARIA AND SHADOW MORE PERFECT I actually loved their relationship and dynamic in this sm they were so adorable and the memories of them spending time and being like family just tug my heart 😭

- also the first section of the movie when sonic and shadow had their first fight was amazing. Sonic asking about who did his highlights when chasing after shadow made me giggle for sm reason lol

- They’ve changed up Shadows backstory a little, not having him be man-made but instead coming from a meteorite and like a straight up alien. they’ve also written out Maria’s sickness which tbh im not entirely sure how I feel about that? Like tbh it’s not something like the worst change ever but it does make me wonder why they changed it especially since it’s a core part of her character in the main universe but tbh this is still a completely separate universe so really in the end it’s not the worst change and not something that completely ruins the experience. (It just made me curious really) but yeah everything else with Shadows backstory is absolutely amazing and I loved it!!

- ALSO SONIC CRASHING OUT AFTER SHADOW HURT TOM OH MY FUCKING GOD THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED AHHHHHHHHHHHH

- and the scene when Sonic runs over to Tom to see if he is okay and calling to him in desperation as shadow just watches seeing exactly himself in Sonic atm as he had lost Maria eughhhshshshshsh

- Gerald. Just Gerald. Like holy shit his character was so interesting here because in the main canon universe he is already a very complex character but here holy shit I really didn’t expect them to go with a very huge darker twist with it. Cause in the main universe he dedicated everything about his research towards Maria and curing her of her illness that he even went into lengths of accepting some alien warlord to help him make the ultimate life form knowing the consequences that could come with that. And here he used his grandson Ivo and shadow to accomplish his plans of destroying everything even themselves. You can tell here he really had lost it with the death of Maria but here he no longer even cared about Maria’s wishes and rather what he wanted to avenge her and it’s a even darker side of his character. The fact he used his grandson to get what he wanted like- hacking into his creations to lure him in and try to play the role of grandfather to only want to use his genius brain and the fact he never had anybody as a way to help him achieve in destroying the world. Like wow. Just wow.

- Keanu absolutely did a fantastic job as shadow. I CANNOT wait to see more of what he does with the character

- Revenge guac shouldn’t have made me laugh as much as it did LMAOOO

- Knuckles and Tails were wonderful in this movie they really feel like friends/brothers and the way the three of them really cared for each other was so sweet.

- Tom and Maddie were also amazing and I loved their parts in this movie sm. the fact they were WAITING for sonic and co to come back with a world disaster to deal with because they were bored 😭 they are so used to these wacky adventures it’s become such a norm for them that’s honestly so sweet 🥹

- The way Sonic and Knuckles were gearing up to fight each other with Tails being right in the middle before Knuckles decides to let Sonic know where the master emerald is was done so perfectly, that scene had me on the fucking edge of my seat

- I was also worried that they would do a third act break up with team sonic cuz I’m not usually a fan of that trope but they executed it PERFECTLY oh my god

- and at the end Sonic’s apology to them when he knew he was in the wrong and let his anger and vengeance get to him and knuckles going for a fist bump and Sonic just hugging him??? Oh my sweet boys oh how I miss them already they were the perfect team in this movie I can’t wait to see more team sonic again 😭🥹💙💙

- also I loved Sonic’s development??? I just love how every movie he’s growing more and more as a character I just love that sm

- God I wish we had more scenes with Maria and Shadow I’m just not over their interactions they deserved sm better 😭

- also I love tails’s role in this movie!! Dude was really the MVP fr and I tried not to laugh when tails washed away stone and shadow in the giant robot crap like dude casually caused violence and I love that for him lol

- Stobotnik was perfect in this film I literally started to sob when eggman told him off because stone realized something off about Gerald. And when that heart felt goodbye to stone played it was so wonderful and heartbreaking I was sobbing atp. if this is Jim’s last film then that’s okay he went out with a BANG (literally)

- ALSO WHEN LIVE AND LEARN STARTED TO PLAY???? AND SHADOW AND SONIC DID THE DAB UP THEY DO IN SA2 I HAD TO TRY AND COMPOSE MYSELF BECAUSE I WAS JUMPING IN MY SEAT I was pointing at the screen and saying “they did the thing they did the thing!”

- Also when Gerald made that misogynistic comment about women being in the military me and my friend (who went with me to watch it) just looked at each other because WHAT 😭

- I loved how the eclipse canon lookd a lot like the space colony ARK I love the reference to it sm

- I almost screamed in my seat when metal sonic showed up at the end AND NOT ONLY THAT BUT AMY?????? OHNMY GOD IM SO HAPPY AHHSHSHHSSHJ I’m still not over it

- now I want villain stone for the fourth movie like PLEASE ITS SET UP SO WELL HERE. Stone losing robotnik definitely would play a huge reason for his villain arc plus someone had to make metal sonic.

- ALSO I LOVED THE PARALLEL TO SONIC ADVENTURE 2????? WHERE INSTEAD OF SHADOW TURNING BACK TO HIS MAIN FORM AND SONIC KEEP GOING IT WAS THE OTHER WAY AROUND SHSHSDBEHSHWHSHSJ

- That entire scene when Sonic and Shadow were fighting in their super forms WAS LITERALLY SO INSANE MY JAW DROPPED WHEN SONIC MANAGED TO TURN BACK BUT LOOKED UP TO ALSO SEE THAT SHADOW HAD TRANSFORMED

- Also I just loved how Eggman randomly announced he’s Bi/pan it was truly beautiful

- AND ALSO SHADOW IS STILL ALIVE YEAHHHHH. I mean I did see it coming as he literally survives the end of SA2 (even though he originally actually wasn’t fun fact) but also the fact there is a confirmation on him getting a spin off it was pretty obvious lol but STILL especially since his “sacrifice” scene really hit hard. I really hope in his spin off we get to see rouge and maybe even learn more where he came from…especially from a certain alien warlord 😙

ANYWAYS honestly this movie is now the best movie out of the three. It was just an amazing experience and I loved every single moment of it, it was an amazing adaptation to SA2 for sure and I’m honestly still not over it at all, this movie was quite the experience and I definitely recommend it sm it’s an amazing movie and I can certainly say it made the inner child inside my heart very happy.

[mothman9283]

Ok i try to keep private but. guys.... i think i have a fever kink... and if this ever gets traced to myself irl i might have to change my identity. heres a rant about my experiences and preferences just to get it out of my system so i can be productive again and stop thinking about it 😇

anyways! i think ive always been intrigued to fevers my whole life. I remember when i was younger, young enough to not know my age, I was playing doctor with my friend and I was taking my stuffies temperature. i remember just continuously adding on pens and sticks and anything i could find to make the thermometer longer because "the temp is too high! the thermometer is gonna burst!"

i also hated showing or telling ppl i was sick ever since i was young, like id always hide it if i was unwell, and i wouldnt tell my parents or friends and would desperately try to make it seem like i was fine

irl i have no interests in sick people or being sick. if one of my friends has a cold or is coughing i always try to keep my distance so i dont get sick either. lowkey sometimes if they r a bit too snotty or whiny i even get annoyed.. 😓😓 I only ever feel this way about characters through a screen, or through little daydreams and fantasies.

anyways, i lowkey dont know if its a sexual tjing or not (ofc not when i was younger), but its just always something that made my stomach then and my heart pound.

i found out abt this community (<3) when i was in my teens. one day i got a yt video in my recommended of one of those "animate my story" videos. the title was smthing along the lines of "im addicted to seeing other people in pain" and i was like "damn. ok lets see whats up!" and clicked it. in the video the guy describes fantasizing about his favourite characters being hurt and being taken care of, and how its never about real people and whatnot, and as little teenage me watched it, i realized "damn. fhis is fr me but with illnesses!" This was the first time ive ever found out there were others like me, so i immediately scrolled to the comments. unfortunately, literally everyone was liek "bro this dude is a freak..." and i was like "oh.. 😕😒" BUT THEN. this one commenter with a pink defualt yt profile pic said "hey :) ! this is actually called whump, and its more common than you think!" and i went WOAH. since then i searched up "sick fever" on google, found tumblr and fanfics and never looked back.

after seeing some of the #s on this site i definitely feel less alone now, but having a fever kink is still pretty uncommon right..? like i dont see anyone posting about it anywhere else except for the two sites a stated prior, and its not listed anywhere either (granted i havent looked very hard).

isnt it also just kinda weird- like even from an evolutionary standpoint... fever = infectious = bad = why would i wanna get closer and die..

regardless of reason, i just love a good sickness- fevers with flushed, hot skin, and chills and coughs. i also need a good temperature readings for the full experience, and i love all the descriptive diction about their health. im not a huge fan of descriptive puking or sinus related stuff, but im happy with it if it contributes to the fever plot-. ive also noticed over the years that its not simply just a cold- they need to be literally described/shown as flushed and sweaty. being "pale" or "green" AINT doing it for me 😡

anyways! yeah that was my rant :) wow thats long. in the unlikely event someone finds this lmk if u have an similar/different experiences, or if a younger me sees this hopefully they wont feel like such a weirdo and feel less alone

[desire-mona]

Could I ask for a mini ramble on why Keating is your favourite character? Poised with a notebook and pen to take down notes haha

YES!!!!!!!

BECAUSE NOBODY EVER TALKS ABOUT HIM AND THATS HONESTLY SO RUDE!!!!!!!

so like. keating; let's talk about that

we desperately need to acknowledge that keating is an amazing man right down to his core. he is so passionate about living life in a way that makes him feel fulfilled that he makes it his main goal to teach others how to do the same.

he experienced the same exact thing as the poets, remember, the movie makes a big deal of how nothing at welton changes. he had the same exact oppressive environment growing up as they did, so he knew exactly how to connect to these boys.

HIS INTENTIONS AND ACTIONS WERE NOTHING BUT PURE, AND THATS WHAT MAKES HIS ENDING ALL THE MORE DEVASTATING.

every single one of his peers and superiors fully believed that neil's death was keatings fault, and actively shunned him for it. not a singular person that wasnt a Teenager in his community understood what he was trying to do. welton painted the narrative that keating taught these insane useless lessons about breaking the rules BUT NEED! I! REMIND! YOU! HE MADE A PRETTY BIG EMPHASIS ON THE FACT THAT U GOTTA BE SMART ABT IT! he called out charlie for the call from god thing for a reason!!

another crazy devastating thing abt keating + neils death is the fact that neil was understanding exactly what carpe diem mean's IMMEDIATELY. AND WAS ACTING ON IT!! he pursued things that he knew would make him happy and fulfilled in the long run, he knew what he wanted to do with his life and he took the first opportunity to get it. the exact fucking definition of seizing the day. keating was REACHING THIS KID SO WELL!! HE WAS UNDERSTANDING EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS SAYING!!! AND THEN!!! AND THEN!!!!!!!!!!

so imagine this. you grow up in the most rigid, boring, unchanging environment and decide fuck it, im gonna Do Something for Myself for Once. you start to think oh, this is actually kinda sick, doing things that make me happy. you escape the environment that aims to essentially make these Children into what their idea of successful is. (quick reminder that there are actual children also attending welton. like kids. like 9 year olds n shit.) you actually chase after every opportunity to be what your idea of successful is, and were so passionate about that way of living that you learned how to teach others how to do it. and also poetry and stuff.

so youre doing exactly that, you finally got to a point where youre doing exactly what you wanna do, and teaching these kids in a situation just like yours. and its going SO WELL! there's this one kid who just GETS IT and is doing it flawlessly and then - oh !

and now everyone around you is like um wtf this is your fault actually. SO YOU HAVE TO PROCESS THE FACT THAT YOUR STUDENT IS DEAD ON TOP OF HAVING TO RELIVE THE ENVIRONMENT YOU HATED AND ACTIVELY WORKED AGAINST YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. AND NOW YOU HAVE NO INCOME OR COMMUNITY OR HOME OR FRIENDS. AND THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT KNOW YOU ARENT A MURDERER ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18. AND YOUR WIFE LIVES IN ANOTHER COUNTRY. OH AND ALSO YOUR RESUME IS RUINED AND ITLL PROBABLY BE PRETTY HARD TO FIND ANOTHER JOB IF YOU CAN AT ALL.

AND YOU HAVE CANCER. HE HAS CANCER IN THE OG SCRIPT.

keating is my personal description of raw devastation. all of who you are and what you wanted to be is in shambles because of something that isnt your fault. but almost everyone around you thinks it is your fault. and we're just gonna move on from that? thats it? thats the end of the story? no more keating after that?????? downright evil. more people gotta talk about this wonderful man!!!!!

also very sorry if this makes no sense, im quite high. but also shameless self promo pls interact with my ask blog @ask-captain-keating bc i lob running it. pleags. ily for asking this btw!!!!