#thats nothing to do with me thats just the way their scenes are lit

[arsenicflame]

TWO - THE ANTLERS // BLACKHANDS

[jenoslutie]

that's that me, espresso l y.jh

❥ Synopsis: Jeonghan fucks you hard, Jeonghan fucks you good. You both know that much, so why do you refuse to give him the time of day outside of bed?

❥ Genre: Smut, Desperate Jeonghan, Reader is closed off, one sided pining (until it's mutual), Fuckgirl!reader, Formula One drivers!Seventeen, Reader is a life guard (so is Joshua!) theres also like angst if u really squint.

❥ Warnings: *takes a deep breath* unprotected sex, degradation, praise, choking, implied face slapping, multiple sex scenes (like 3), creampies (ew i hate that word!!!), exhibitionism, jeonghan is a little mean during sex but its okay, jeonghan fucks her while seungcheol listens in but she does not know, fingering, oral, face fucking, car sex, jeonghan cums in her and makes her keep it inside while they play beach volleyball, reader likes to send videos of her sleeping with other people (cheol and josh) to jeonghan to mess with him. i think thats it.

❥ Word count: 8.6k

a/n: so im finally done this LMAOO. huge. huge. HUGE!!!! thank u to everyone who helped me with this fic @hanniesluvr my lovely aera my fellow jeonghan freak my WIFE!!! for keeping me motivated through this and matching my freak, @haologram for the banner and basically ghost writing this (if u like the whole f1 driver thing, thank alta :D) and @dearlyjun for using her big huge sexy brain and f1 knowledge and helping a girl out ANDD!!!! @jihyokat for beta reading i love u all MWAH <3 ANYWAYS!!! here she is <3 hope u enjoy :D

“You���re already leaving?” Jeonghan called out from behind you, watching as you redressed yourself. Jeonghan knew you never stayed. Well, you never stayed with him at least. 

You let out a laugh, ”You know I'm not staying” Jeonghan let out a groan at that, annoyed that he’s seen you stay the night with other hookups but not him. Why not Jeonghan? He was hot, he fucked good, he fucked hard (the way you like it), he fit all of the requirements that made him a good fuck buddy. So why did you refuse to spend the night with him every time you hooked up?

The answer was simple, you didn’t want to stick around when you know they’re gonna catch feelings. You know Jeonghan is going to get attached too easily if you keep staying. But there’s something about him that’s just too good to let go.

The first time you and Jeonghan had sex, it wasn’t like anything you’ve ever experienced before. Jeonghan was different. He single-handedly fulfilled all of your depraved fantasies on your first night together. You never thought that someone like Jeonghan would be so…nasty in bed but the second you followed him back to his car you were in for a surprise to say the least. 

For someone who looked like an angel, he sure didn’t act like one in bed. 

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You were invited to the party Jeonghan threw to celebrate his win in Las Vegas. Your best friend and second place winner tonight, Mingyu, drove you to the venue with him. You could hear the music booming before you even got to the entrance of the nightclub. It was huge and the only other person you knew at this party was Seungkwan, Mingyu’s teammate. 

The moment you were let into the club your eyes landed on Boo Seungkwan, the other man you were expecting to see tonight. His eyes locked with yours and immediately they lit up. He was conversing with Yoon Jeonghan, the man of the night and no matter how many times you’ve seen the man on TV, it’s nothing compared to the real deal. Jeonghan was nothing short of ethereal. If you didn’t know any better you’d think he was an angel on earth, not one of the top racers on the whole grid. 

“Y/n!” Seungkwan shouted over the crowd, your smiles mirroring each other as Mingyu led you through the ocean of bodies. “You look fucking stunning tonight dude” He left the group he was talking with to pull you away from Mingyu. You were aware of how good you looked tonight. You chose not to drive to the party tonight in plans of going home with someone at the party and you knew that you had to dress to impress. With your little black dress and matching stiletto pumps, you were sure you’d get someone to either A) buy you a drink or B) take you back to theirs. 

…Hopefully both? 

“Thanks Kwannie! I thought maybe I’d dress to impress tonight” Seungkwan snickered at that, “Why? got any plans tonight?” He wiggled his eyebrows, looking over your shoulder at Mingyu, implying you’d be going back to his place after this. Typical Seungkwan, he was always so determined to someday expose that you and Mingyu were secretly hooking up on the down low but that day won’t be soon. 

“Fuck no! You know damn well i would never fuck Mingyu of all people” Lies. You and Mingyu did hook up once and never again. Not that it was bad but because on your way out that day you met the one and only Choi Seungcheol, Yoon Jeonghan’s teammate at Ferrari. You and Seungcheol have been hooking up on the down low since. You wrapped up the conversation with Seungkwan and made your way around the club, searching for Mingyu. 

“Hey!” A tap on your shoulder caught your attention, You turned around and there was the man of the night, Yoon Jeonghan, you watched him give you a once over before meeting your eyes. “Hi! Jeonghan, right?” You were quick to introduce yourself, maintaining eye contact as best as you could. It wasn’t easy when his big brown eyes were looking deep into your own and to make it worse, his pretty face was glowing, the aftermath of a huge victory on the track today. 

“Are you looking for your boyfriend?” Jeonghan frowned, eyes searching around looking for whoever he supposed was your boyfriend. 

“Boyfriend?” You snickered, “Who’s my boyfriend dare I ask” 

“Mingyu, no?” 

You burst into laughter, hand resting on his shoulder for reassurance. “Mingyu is not my boyfriend, we’re just friends. And yes, I was looking for him” 

Jeonghan sighed in relief. “Thank God, Mind if I buy you a drink?” 

BINGO! 

Jeonghan led the way to the bar where he bought you your drink of choice, a Vodka Tonic. You were sitting on a bar stool with your back to the bar while Jeonghan stood in front of you, looking down at you and taking in your figure.  “You look amazing tonight by the way” He smiled at you as he watched you take a sip of your drink, smiling creeping onto your face at both the taste of your drink and the compliment. 

“Thank you, I put it on in hopes to go home with someone tonight” You gazed up at him expectantly.  

“Oh? Is that so?” Jeonghan smirked, stepping forward to situate himself between your legs, leaning his head down enough to where his lips were hovering over yours. 

“Wanna take me home?” You smiled with faux innocence, downing your drink before Jeonghan pulled you up and off your seat and out of the club. 

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The drive back to his hotel was exhilarating, Jeonghan feeling up your bare thighs while he drove while you leaned over the center console and pressed kisses all over his neck earning you halfhearted warnings. He knows you shouldn't be distracting him like that but he also knows he does not want you to stop, your lips on his neck almost making him lose focus of the road. 

Before you knew it, the two of you were back at his hotel room with his lips against yours in a desperate kiss while you were pressed up against the wall. Jeonghan’s hands wandered all over your body, feeling up every inch of your body that he could get his hands on. 

“Get me naked Jeonghan,” You let out a sound that was something even more desperate than a whine, but Jeonghan ignored your plea, continuing to attack your lips with his own, enjoying your pretty sounds as you got even more desperate for him to do something. 

“On your knees” Jeonghan ordered. A sudden shift in the atmosphere made you freeze. Jeonghan’s voice dropped an octave as he looked at you with lust filled eyes. “I’m not going to repeat myself” You instantly dropped to your knees and looked up at him, locking eyes with his own. 

“I’m going to use your throat like a fucking fleshlight. Okay?” Your body buzzed with excitement as you heard that, sure you’ve sucked cock before but never has anyone ever done anything like that. “Squeeze my thigh if you want me to stop” You only nodded enthusiastically and within an instant, he was ridding himself of his pants along with his boxers before he was pressing his hard cock against your open mouth. You eagerly sucked the tip of Jeonghan’s cock into your mouth, and began to tease the slit on the tip of his cock with your tongue. As you sucked his cock into your mouth, you could feel the wetness seeping out of your pussy. You did your best to ignore the urge to just have his cock in you. 

Jeonghan roughly pushed you all the way down on his cock making you gag immediately but you were quick to remind yourself to breathe through your nose. Jeonghan was pulling you up on his cock and slamming you back down with no relent. True to his word, he began to use you as if you were nothing but a toy, placing his hands on the sides of your face to get a better grip. His noises filled the room, tumbling out of his mouth in a way that only made you leak more on the floor of the hotel room. His one hand maneuvered to your hair, gripping tight as he began fucking into your mouth with even more force. In no time he was cumming down your throat, pushing your head all the way down his cock until his whole cock hit the back of your throat. 

“Get on the bed,” You obliged wordlessly, submitting to Jeonghan and whatever he wants of you. Making yourself comfortable on the bed, you gazed up at Jeonghan, watching as he stared down at you almost as if to mock the way you submit to him so easily. 

“Jeonghan-” Before you could finish Jeonghan delivered a light slap to your face. Muttering a small but stern ‘shut up’ 

"You speak when spoken to," he grits, glaring at you with dark eyes. He presses down on your cheeks, forcing your mouth open, you wince out in pain. “I’m gonna give you your safeword okay?” He didn’t really give you much room to agree before he assigned you a safeword, something easy for both of you to remember. You repeated it back to him to which Jeonghan smiled at your obedience. 

“Use it if you need to, okay? I won’t be upset if you do” Only after you nodded in understanding did Jeonghan inch closer to you to rid you of the rest of your clothes. He grinned when he caught a glimpse of your soaked pussy. “So wet already? Just from me fucking your face?” The question was rhetorical the way Jeonghan dropped to his knees, wasting no more time to dig his face between your legs. Dragging his lips between your slit, sucking your arousal onto his tongue. 

Tugging his shirt off, he fixes himself back between your legs. Letting out groans against your core, prompting you to moan out yourself. He presses a last kiss to your clit before pulling away.  He sits on the edge of your bed. “Sit that pretty pussy on my cock, slut.”  And again, you had no will in you to deny anything the man asks of you. Immediately making your way over and straddling his thighs. You take a deep breath before reaching down to guide him in. Feeling your stomach twist as the stretch slowly splits you open. Your eyes shut as you cry out at his thick cock stretching you open. “Why the fuck are you so tight. Holy shit” Jeonghan winces, his own eyes slamming shut at the feeling of your warm walls enveloping him in. 

“You’re too big—“ you whine, your head falling down to rest on his shoulder as you slowly begin to move up and down on his cock. But it didn’t go far before Jeonghan was wrapping his hands around your hips and taking over your movements with faster and harder ones of his own. 

You let out a string of moans at his intense pace making him chuckle. “Fucking slut. you like that dont you?” he gave a hard thrust, bottoming out inside your cunt. “Like getting fucked like this by a guy you just met, hmm?” You moaned out choruses of ‘yes’ as Jeonghan began rutting up into you. Moving a hand down to rub at your clit, your body jerked as you felt your high incoming. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum Jeonghan” Your voice came out in a high pitched whine as you rubbed your clit harder, body shaking as Jeonghan fucked you harder to help guide you to the edge. Your eyes roll back as your high hits you and Jeonghan helps you ride it out, not forgetting to kiss you through it too. The two of you with no care in the world for who can hear you. As the high of your orgasm dissipates, he flips you onto your back. He’s close too, you can tell by the way his cock is throbbing inside you and his thrusts turn erratic. 

“Cum inside Jeonghan.” You all but begged, Jeonghan moaning out before he also toppled over the edge. Cock throbbing erratically inside you as he emptied ropes of cum inside you. The two of you took a minute to calm your racing hearts before Jeonghan pulled out and flopped down on the bed next to you. 

“Holy shit” He huffed, looking over at your smiling face. “Please tell me you’ll give me your number” He was still out of breath and it only made you chuckle, rolling off the bed to pick up your purse from where he he face fucked you moments ago. Fishing out your phone, you unlocked it before handing it to Jeonghan who was nearly knocked out on the bed for him to put his number in and text himself. 

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Since the day you two hooked up at Jeonghan’s party, you’d started seeing each other more often. It’s not like you only seeked Jeonghan for your dick appointments. In reality Jeonghan was the one constantly calling and texting for when he can see you again. You won’t say that you minded it though. Sex with Jeonghan is an out of the world experience. Him making you feel highs you have never felt before with any other partner or yourself. 

As for Jeonghan? Jeonghan felt nothing short of smitten. Getting into his bed with anyone other than you made the most uncomfortable feeling arise within him and it had been practically days since he last saw you so he had to hit you up. 

jeonghan: i miss youuuuuuu  jeonghan: hi  jeonghan: cmon respondddddddd jeonghan: alright.. what position he got you in???  

you: [attachment: 1 video] 

You knew Jeonghan didn't expect you to actually send him a video of what position your last hookup had you in, you watched the video back and you couldn't help but get a little ego boost while watching yourself getting fucked by one of your coworkers, Joshua. He had you on all fours, hand gripping onto your waist as he fucked you.

Another thing you couldnt help is noticing how Joshua was not fucking you half as good as Jeonghan does. There's no bruises on your hips, there's no hair pulling, and the worst of all, there's no degradation. One thing about Jeonghan, for someone with such an angelic face, he has the nastiest mouth. It’s not something you're complaining about though, you would never complain about the way Jeonghan treats you in bed.

It wasn’t like Jeonghan was the only guy you could pull, never that. Jeonghan just happened to be one of the best guys you’ve ever slept with. Which might even be the only reason you keep going back to him. Something about the way he treats you just has you always craving more of him- not that you’d ever admit that to him but it was true. Jeonghan might call you all sorts of names in bed, treat you like some common whore, but right after he’ll always clean you up, attempt to hold you close, give you all the reassurance you need for you to know he doesn’t actually think you’re a common whore (not that it matters). 

jeonghan: what the fuck man… jeonghan: i’m about to have the saddest wank of my life  jeonghan: ^^^woah idk who said that jeonghan: might be the demons idk

you: have fun jeonghan <3

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you: hey, you wanna come play beach volleyball tmrw @3? 

seungcheol: hmm seungcheol: i dont think i can make it, seokmin wants to hang. 

you: boo you whore. 

[seungcheol disliked “boo you whore.”] 

If there's one thing you hate, it would be your job. Sitting in the sun for hours on end and staring at people who were obviously having a lot more fun than you were. You thought you could invite Seungcheol so you could play beach volleyball but apparently the universe didn’t want you to enjoy your shift. But that’s when it hit you, you could just invite Jeonghan. Surely he wouldn’t let you down. 

you: hey r u free tmrw? 

His reply was almost instant. 

jeonghan: yea, why?

you: wanna play beach volleyball at the beach i work at? 

you: i'm thinking around 3pm

jeonghan: i'm down, which beach is it? 

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You saw Jeonghan’s car pull up to the beach almost thirty minutes before your shift was supposed to start, giving you thirty minutes to spare before the rest of your coworkers piled in to start their shifts. 

“Hey, Beautiful” Jeonghan called out as he got out of his car, leaning back against it as you approached him. “Hi Handsome,” You smiled back as you watched him give you a once over, looking at you in your work uniform, a simple red bikini with the word ‘LIFEGUARD’ printed on it in white. Jeonghan leaned down so that he could whisper in your ear, “Do you think I can make you cum before your shift?” You nodded, not trusting your voice to do the talking, knowing you’d accidentally moan or whimper out loud. 

“Get in the car then” 

You didn't need to be told twice, immediately you hopped in the backseat of Jeonghan’s car and he followed suit. There wasn't much time for foreplay so he leans in, connecting your lips eagerly. As if he’s been craving this for years and is finally being satiated. The limited space doesn’t offer much room to maneuver but Jeonghan shifts in between your legs enough to grind his clothed cock against your barely clothed core. The whole situation arousing you beyond belief, about to fuck Jeonghan in the back of his car, parked someplace where anyone could see what was happening inside. You could feel your arousal seeping out of your pussy and staining the seat of your bikini. Moaning out into the kiss you pushed your hips into his own, urging him to do something. 

“Jeonghan do something” You urge him in a hushed whisper, barely able to get the words out with the way Jeonghan was grinding into you so deliciously. Jeonghan merely hummed in response, halting his movements to slide down his swim shorts and free his aching cock. 

“You realize how much of a slut you are for this hm? Letting me have you like this where anyone can see you, hear you, find out how much of a slut you are for me.” Jeonghan’s gaze was dark, almost mocking you. You let out some sort of groan at his words. A chill running down your spine at the thought of what Jeonghan is gonna do to you. Flashbacks of the first night you spent with him running through your head. Jeonghan was so rough in a way that no one else had ever been with you and you couldn't help but admit that you loved every second of it. Being too absorbed in your thoughts, you couldn’t respond back to jeonghan which earned you a slap across your face. Your cheek stinging at the contact but nonetheless making you clench around nothing. The feeling of your damp swimsuit sticking to your core making you wiggle your hips in discomfort. 

“Pay attention to me slut” Jeonghan seethed, wrapping a hand around your throat and putting just enough pressure to have your eyes fluttering shut. “Beg for it if you want it” Another slap to your face, this time it was harder than before. Your eyes tearing up a little before you squeaked out a little ‘please’  Another slap. 

“You can do better” 

“Please fuck me Jeonghan” You pleaded, a tear running down your cheek at the hit. 

“Try again” His voice was softer this time, rubbing his free hand over the spot he just slapped. 

“Jeonghan please” you whined. “ Want everyone to hear how good you fuck me please” You begged harder this time, hoping this would be enough for Jeonghan and boy were you right. He pushes the seat of your bikini to the side before repositioning himself and pushing his length into you, moaning in delight as your walls stretch to accommodate his size. You cry out in pleasure, the feeling of finally having Jeonghan in you making more tears roll down your cheeks. He doesn’t take it easy though, keeping a steady, rough rhythm from the start. Pounding you into his backseat while watching you lose yourself in the feeling of him ramming into you. “You love it huh? Tell me how much you love it” You didn’t have it in you to deny it, fully aware of the way you literally begged him for it moments ago. 

“I fucking love it Jeonghan”  You gasp, his hand reaching down to rub at your clit in harsh circles. 

“Does anyone fuck you like i do?” He grunts, rocking his hips into yours harder, as if it was even possible with the way he was fucking you so hard you were positive anyone passing by could see the car visibly shaking. 

You shook your head immediately, “No one fucks me like you do” You confirm. Jeonghan hummed, your answer satisfying him enough that he tightened his hand around your neck once again and rubbing your clit with the other hand. The head of his cock fucks into your most sensitive spot and you feel all the thoughts in your head slowly disintegrate. Head full of only Jeonghan. You urgently reached out to grab onto something to steady something, quickly opting for his hand that was wrapped around your neck. You gripped his forearm with both hands, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. Your vision goes unfocused as your orgasm hits, letting out weak moans and gasps as the feeling consumes you entirely. Feeling it course through your whole body all the way down to your toes. Your walls constrict around Jeonghan the whole time, urging his own orgasm to hit him fast. 

“Gonna cum” Jeonghan warns. His thrusts turn erratic as he lets out a string of guttural groans. 

“Inside” You plead, “Need you to fill me up again please Jeonghan” Jeonghan moans loudly at that, your begging pushing him all the way over the edge. His eyes shut tightly and he groans out loudly. His body tensing up as he fills you up entirely. 

“Gonna be a good girl and keep that inside you yeah? All your little friends oblivious of the way you just begged me to slut you out” Heat rushed to your cheeks at the way Jeonghan was humiliating you but you agreed either way. Jeonghan’s eyes lit up when you nodded your head with a small smile. He took time to calm down before he slipped out of you wordlessly, ignoring the way you whine at the feeling of emptiness and fixing your bikini bottoms to cover you up again. 

After fixing himself up he spoke up again, “Can I kiss you?” Jeonghan asked, rather shyly, his demeanor a stark contrast to the Jeonghan that was pouding you into his backseat moments ago. You chuckled at his sheepishness. “Yes Jeonghan you can kiss me” Your voice was small but he didn’t hesitate to press his lips onto yours once again, this time the kiss was much softer than before. His hands cupping your cheeks as he used his thumbs to wipe your tears. 

You pulled away first. “Let’s get going? I think I’m already late” 

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“Why the fuck is he here?” Jeonghan muttered from beside you, watching as his teammate, Seungcheol approached your group. Ever the show off, Seungcheol was wearing only a pair of black swim shorts, showing off his toned body for everyone at the beach to see. 

You turned to where Jeonghan was looking and lo and behold, there was Choi Seungcheol. You and Seungcheol had….history. Well, not really history but you two have been fucking for a couple months and you were fully aware that he is Jeonghan’s teammate and its not like you were picking out the Ferrari drivers in specific to sleep with. The two of them were the ones who came onto you first. 

“Seungcheol?” You gasped, not expecting him to show up after rudely (not really) canceling on you. You felt Jeonghan’s arm tentatively wrap around your waist as Seungcheol approached. 

“Hey baby!” Seungcheol grinned, completely ignoring Jeonghan on your side, with his arm obviously wrapped around your waist. You heard Jeonghan mutter a small ‘baby??’ under his breath while continuing to faux nonchalance. 

“Hi Cheol! I thought you were gonna hang with Seokmin today?” 

“Well, I was, but Seokmin had to meet with Chan today” He shrugged, smiling wider showing off his stunning smile that initially captivated you. 

“Oh! Cheol, this is Jeonghan” You were quick to detangle yourself from Jeonghan’s arms, standing awkwardly in between the two men who were finally forced to make eye contact (thanks to you) 

“This is the new guy you fuck? Really? Had to be my teammate?” Seungcheol scoffed, losing the smile once adorning his face. 

“ Uh yeah, Hannie, this is Seungcheol.” 

“The other guy you fuck.” 

“Well, yes.” 

Jeonghan wasn’t too phased at first, especially considering it was Jeonghan’s cum currently inside you and not Seungcheol’s. Jeonghan sighed before speaking out once again, 

“Okay...let’s play ball?” 

“Let’s play.” And the three of you set out to join the rest of the group where they played volleyball. 

Jeonghan teamed with three of your three coworkers, Soonyoung, Yuta and Xiaojun. While Seungcheol teamed with your other coworkers, Vernon, Jaehyun and Joshua (yes, the same Joshua). You self appointed yourself as the referee for the round because you obviously didn’t want Jeonghan’s cum splattering out of you while you played.

That would not be ideal in front of your coworkers. 

As the round started, you noticed that Seungcheol in particular was putting a little too much effort into this, as if he had something to prove. Which you weren’t wrong, he did. He wanted to prove he was way better than Jeonghan at this (among other things.) but Jeonghan was hitting the ball back with little to no effort. 

You watched, amused as the two men on the court played as if no one else was around, as if it was a battle and they had to get past each other to make it to the final round. You think it might 

You were right, Seungcheol did have something to prove. He wanted to prove that he was the better one out of the two of them, as if it wasn’t Jeonghan’s cum currently in you. 

You were pulled out of your thoughts by a LOUD shriek. Only to see that Xiaojun was on the floor, holding his head in his hands while he cried out pathetically. 

“Xiaojun what happened!?” You ran towards the man on the floor.

“Seungcheol spiked the ball and it hit Xiaojun’s head” Soonyoung explained hurriedly, jumping in to do a poor attempt of CPR on him (though he’s a lifeguard. You’re not too sure how he got hired in the first place). 

“Get off me!” Xiaojun screamed when Soonyoung leaned in to give him mouth-to-mouth. 

“I got hit in the head I don’t need CPR idiot”

You did notice though, Seungcheol and Jeonghan were still playing amongst each other, not a clue in the world that they just took Xiaojun out and everyone was crowding around him. Well not anymore, Xiaojun was up and crowded away with Yuta and Soonyoung. You’d assume he was talking mad shit about the man who hit him in the head and didn’t even care to check on him. 

Typical Xiaojun. 

Also typical Seungcheol. 

As the round progressed, Xiaojun and Soonyoung dipped first, going off to get back to their jobs, then Yuta and Jaehyun also went on to do their own things and take care of their shift duties until finally Joshua and Vernon were about to head out too. 

“Dude, what the hell is their problem?” Joshua murmured, rolling his eyes at the two men still actively playing ball without noticing the absence of the others. 

You shrugged, “They’re both teammates and mad that I’m fucking them both. They both have something to prove to the other” You leaned in closer to whisper to Joshua.

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jeonghan: hi y/n :) you: hi jeonghan :) 

jeonghan: i wanna see you :( 

you: aw really? 

you: my jeonghannie wants to see me o.O

jeonghan: yes :(  jeonghan: please? 

You snickered as you hit send on the video. A video of you while you were on your knees for a man whose face was not in the frame. With your lips wrapped around his cock - though unable to fully wrap around him. While you hollow your cheeks, lowering further down. The man grips your hair, holding your head still as you gag around his cock. 

“You’re such a good girl, taking me like a champ, princess.” He praises you. Hips bucking forward letting out raspy groans. 

That’s when he sees it. 

What was it? It was a silver ring with the word ‘Ferrari’ engraved on it adorning the man’s pinky finger, identical to the one on his own. 

The same ring that only two people would have. Him and his fuckass teammate.  

You fucking sent him a video of you sucking off Seungcheol.  

jeonghan: is that who i fucking think it is?? jeonghan: be so fucking fr. 

jeonghan: i'm coming over. 

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“Please give it to me, fuck, Jeonghan,” you stuttered, breaking away from the kiss to whine against his lips. He spent much too long rubbing his tip along your slit and you could not stand it anymore, you needed him in you immediately. 

 “Why don’t you ask Seungcheol hm? I’m sure he’d give you what you want more than I will”  His tone was taunting, he was obviously still bitter about the stunt you pulled earlier.  Not that it bothered you though, it just made the sex even more exhilarating. To know that Jeonghan is actually bothered by the video made you feel sort of giddy. 

You whined when he sunk barely just the tip inside of you before pulling it out again. Your  grip in his hair tightening as you felt the need to have him buried deep in you grow more and more. “Wanna cum on your cock. I wanna feel it inside me so badly. Please. Please give it to me.” You whined more, hoping Jeonghan would give in and he did, pushing into you ever so slowly but he made up for it by pressing his lips onto yours again. 

“You know I’m not going easy on you tonight, right?” Your lover of the night bottomed out in you, smiling at the way he could see you going dumb on his cock and he hasn't even done anything yet. 

“God, I’d hope not”

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You haven't seen Jeonghan or Seungcheol in two weeks. 

Seungcheol has been AWOL but Jeonghan has been texting you nonstop. It was nothing sexual like the first few times he texted you. It was wholesome? Texts full of Jeonghan checking up on you, asking about you, wondering if you had eaten etc. 

This time however, Jeonghan texted you something different? 

An article. 

F1 - Ferrari sealed 1-2 in Silverstone ahead of Kim Mingyu. 

you: what the fuck is a 1-2 and why did ur team seal it 

jeonghan: i won p1 and seungcheol won p2 jeonghan: party tomorrow  jeonghan: ill end the deets. i better see you there

you: wtf?? thats AMAZING jeonghan congrats <33333  you: yeah, send the details ill be there :)  you: see you tomorrow!

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You weren’t used to seeing Jeonghan and Seungcheol in the same setting, not after that hell of a volleyball game. And apparently you won't see them together this time around either because you’ve been at this party for half an hour and have seen every other driver on the grid except the two men you actually wanted to see.  You decided you’d just sit at the bar and sip on yet another vodka tonic. You watched the rest of the partygoers drink away and dance together while you sat here miserably waiting to find any of your two fuck buddies. 

Until you were pulled from your misery by none other than Seungcheol. 

“And why do you look so miserable?” He asked, taking a seat next to you. Your face lit up at his voice, “Cheol!” You grinned for the first time since you got here. 

“I’ve been by myself all night, Jeonghan invited me but i haven't seen him anywhere” You shrugged. Seungcheol watched as you downed the rest of your drink before he led you away from the main party area, pulling you into a dim corner. 

“You know, I’ve been dreaming about your lips on mine since the last time you came over” Your lips curled into a smirk at that, “Yeah? Are you gonna do anything about it?” 

Oh, he was. 

Seungcheol angles his head to perfectly lower his lips onto yours. Like any kiss with Cheol, it has you dazed and yearning for more, your fingers gripping at his shirt to pull him as close to you as possible.

You both part for air momentarily,looking into eachothers eyes with equally dazed stares. your heart racing from the thrill of making out with him where anyone could catch the two of you, not that you mind, but you’re sure Seungcheol’s career might. Though the thought doesn't last long until Seungcheol searches for your lips again, pressing his mouth hard against yours with not a care in the world as to who may see you. 

Except the only person who saw you was none other than Yoon Jeonghan. 

There was no word to describe how upset Jeonghan felt at that moment. You came to a party he invited you to, celebrating mainly him, where he spent an hour looking for you and youre making out with his fuckass TEAMMATE?

There were only two people that could save Jeonghan now. 

Mingyu and Seungkwan.

────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────

After he had to witness you and his teammate down each other’s throats the other day. Jeonghan is on a mission to win you over. There is no way he’ll let Seungcheol of all people get his girl. 

Seungcheol wasn’t even looking to settle, Jeonghan was.

According to your two closest friends, Mingyu and Seungkwan, there were 3 things that Jeonghan could do that would win you over. Which happened to do with the 3 things you loved the most. 

Music, Food, Sports.  

…Well, that was the only input they gave him. He just had to figure the rest of it out himself. 

────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────

First thing: Music.

That was quite…simple? All he had to do was show you his fire music taste! 

So the next time he picked you up he’d just blast his tunes in the car and that’d be sure to have you swooning. 

Jeonghan rang your doorbell at 7:00pm on the dot. He seemed to have this whole evening planned out and you knew nothing except a text the day before asking if you were free at 7 today and it went on from there. He did specify to dress casual so you wore just a pair of shorts and a black tank top. 

“Hey” You smiled wide, opening the door to see an equally casually dressed Jeonghan. 

“Hey, you look cute.” You grinned at the compliment, gesturing inside for Jeonghan to come in but instead he just shook his head. 

“Let’s go, I’ve got plans for us” 

Jeonghan spent a good ten minutes trying to connect his bluetooth to his car, assuring you that you’d love the songs he’s picked out for tonight only to play the most ratchet music you think you’ve ever heard. 

“What the hell is this Jeonghan?” You grimaced, appalled by his choice of music 

“It’s Mozart!” 

“How the fuck does that make it better?” 

Jeonghan only sighed and handed you his phone with his music app opened. 

“Play whatever you want” 

────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────

Second thing: Food

Jeonghan’s attempt to be…romantic? Was not as successful as you think he’d hoped. His plan was to cook together while sipping wine and have a cute little night. 

Cooking with someone was not something you enjoyed. 

Jeonghan was on vegetable duty while you were on sauce duty. Though time with Jeonghan was enjoyable, what you did not enjoy was him repeatedly coming in your way while you maneuvered around the kitchen. 

“Jeonghan, MOVE” Your frustration reached its max when Jeonghan was hunched over, eyes watery from the onions he was cutting but he was hunched right in the middle of the kitchen, leaving you with no space to pass. 

“I CAN’T SEE” He screeched, finding his way over to the sink in an attempt to rinse out his eye. 

God, he’s such a dork. 

────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────

The last part of Jeonghan’s plan was to woo you with Sports. 

There was no better sport to enjoy with you other than his own! He’ll just invite you to the race this week! 

jeonghan: hey jeonghan: you wanna come to the race this weekend? Its in hungary its gonna run friday-sunday but we arrive on thursday  jeonghan: tix on me :) 

you: wtf?? of COURSE i want to go :O 

────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────

And just like that, you found yourself in a hotel in Hungary on a random Thursday morning. Well, it wasn’t random, you were invited to the Hungarian Grand Prix by none other than Yoon Jeonghan himself. 

Speaking of, Jeonghan had asked if you wanted to go explore the village with him on your off day and who were you to deny an offer like that? So here you were, rushing your makeup at 9 in the morning. Jeonghan was supposed to come to your room at about 9:30 so you have less than thirty minutes to be ready and out the door. 

Jeonghan showed up at your hotel room at 9:30 on the dot, wearing a variant of an outfit youve seen him wear a million times, baggy jeans with an oversized shirt. True Jeonghan fashion you’d say. 

“Good morning beautiful” He greeted, walking into your hotel room and closing the door behind him before backing you up against the wall. 

“Good morning handsome” You can't lie and say you didn't internally cringe at that, no matter how true the words actually were. Jeonghan himself grimaced, his face centimeters away from your own “Never say that again please” 

You rolled your eyes, “God forbid a woman try complimenting a man for once” 

────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────

You and Jeonghan spent all day exploring the city. Going from coffee shop to coffee shop, spending hours walking aimlessly around and even checking out the track. You  enjoyed Jeonghan’s company more than you’d like to admit. Jeonghan was a witty guy. He was funny, hot, really fucking good in bed but most of all he was genuine. That’s one thing you loved about Jeonghan that Seungcheol didn’t have. Where Jeonghan’s intentions with you were clear as day, Seungcheol? You were not too sure what the fuck his intentions were with you. 

You knew you weren’t technically supposed to dig this deep into either of them. After all, they were just your fuckbuddies, people you only saw when you were horny and needed release but you still couldn't help but feel more drawn to Jeonghan than you did Seungcheol. 

Jeonghan was a genuinely good person whose company you actually enjoyed and you knew he did enjoy yours too. Seungcheol however ignored all your texts until he was the one that needed release and you didn’t have a problem with that until now.  Until Jeonghan brought it up. 

“You know, I really like spending time with you. Aside from the sex” It came from out of the blue when the two of you were walking back to your hotel. 

“So the sex just sucks huh?” You looked at him with a mischievous grin 

“You know that’s not what i meant” 

“I know, I really enjoy spending time with you too Jeonghan” He smiled at that, pulling you closer by the hip until you were pressed right by his side. The two of you walked in a comfortable silence until he spoke up again. 

“You know, you should stop seeing Seungcheol” 

You chuckled, this wasn’t the first time Jeonghan has hinted towards how much he doesn’t like you fucking his teammate. 

“Yeah, okay” 

“I'm serious! It might have to do with the fact im like fucking obsessed with you or the fact that I know Seungcheol doesn’t want you like I do but I swear, the way i want you does not compare to the way he wants you” Your eyebrows raised at that, you knew you prefer Jeonghan over Seungcheol but hearing him tell you why you should pick him over Seungcheol is just all the more satisfying. 

“Why do you think so?” 

“Because-!” He groaned, rubbing his face with his hands, not wanting to tell you how much he wants you. How he stays up thinking about how it’d be if you were his. 

“Because I like you beyond the sex, I want a relationship with you. I don’t wanna have to share you with anyone because I’m greedy and I want you for myself. I wanna show you off as mine without anyone else coming in the way. I want you Y/N” 

You stopped in your tracks, prompting him to stop with you as well. “You want to date me?” 

“Really fucking bad. Please let me?” 

“Okay” You nodded, acting nonchalant on the outside when you were actually going fucking insane on the inside. “I’ll be your girlfriend but only if you ask me out properly” Jeonghan all but jumped for joy, screaming a couple choruses of “YES!!” 

“Y/N, light of my life, will you please be my girlfriend?” he playfully rolled his eyes

“I’d love to!” you smiled wide, his own smile mirroring yours before he leaned in to kiss you sweetly, in the middle of a street in Mogyoród. 

────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────

The next morning, Seungcheol was just doing his normal pre race rituals when all of a sudden he heard an awful lot of giggling just outside of his room. 

What the hell could be so funny right before a race? 

He swung his door open only to see Jeonghan sitting on the couch while you sat on his lap, one leg on either side of him while the two of you smooched away like a couple of highschoolers on their first date. 

“I think I can come P1 today! After All, I have my beautiful girlfriend here to cheer me on” Jeonghan teased, cupping your face so he can press yet another kiss to your lips. 

“Yeah? Good luck out there boyfriend. I’ll be cheering for you” 

Girlfriend??? Boyfriend??? Since fucking when? The last time Seungcheol remembers, you were not looking for anything close to even a situationship, let alone a relationship. 

That kinda explains it too, you’d been too busy with your stupid boyfriend to return any of his calls or texts for the past few days too. This is exactly why Seungcheol hated couples. Gross. 

Screw Yoon Jeonghan, he stole his girl in plain sight. 

Well, not really his girl. Realistically Seungcheol was just tryna hit. Much like yourself until you met Yoon fucking Jeonghan. 

Cheol knew he wasn't all that upset about the situation but he had to mess with Jeonghan just for the fun of it and man was he geeked. 

────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────

You couldnt fucking believe what you were seeing. Today was the day of the first two free practices and the only two drivers on the track who were not behaving were none other than your very own. 

Normally, Jeonghan and Seungcheol would stay very…civil during their races but something was off today. Jeonghan was minding his business, leading the race like he usually does until in comes Choi Seungcheol and overtakes him. 

So naturally, Jeonghan starts to speed up and get back in the lead. Which lasts maybe a minute until in comes Choi fucking Seungcheol again and runs him off the track. 

What the hell was Seungcheol’s problem today? 

The race continued to be a mess of Seungcheol messing with Jeonghan, overtaking him then running him off the track and repeating it. You could tell Jeonghan was getting frustrated. Hell, even you were getting frustrated. 

Did Seungcheol find out about you and Jeonghan? 

God, you’d hope this wasn't the result of Seungcheol’s…jealousy? There really wasn't anything to be jealous about on his end but still, if it was, that’s not okay and you were going to speak to him about it. The race went on like that, with Cheol repeatedly provoking Jeonghan and Jeonghan fighting back. You could hear the chattering of the people around you talking about the two of them and how it was ‘so odd that they’re acting this way!’ 

As expected, Jeonghan came P1 and Seungcheol came P3. P2 was none other than your best friend, Boo Seungkwan! The race went surprisingly well after the second to last lap and continued to trail behind Jeonghan who was in P1.

“Jeonghan!” You squealed, embracing him in the tightest hug possible but immediately pulling away when you made contact with his sweaty body. 

“Baby” He whined, pulling you back into his embrace, ignoring your noises of protest. You gave up the fight without much convincing, hugging him back tight and congratulating him over and over. 

“Wait, I’ll be back.” 

You excused yourself from Jeonghan and went on to find the one and only..

“Choi Seungcheol!” You muttered, aggressively making your way over to the ever so sweaty man sipping away at his Hydrorace water bottle. 

“Hey gorgeous” He cheekily smiled at you, pulling the straw away from his lips. You scoffed, annoyed by how calm he seemed after what he pulled out on the track today. 

“Don’t ‘hey gorgeous’ me, what the hell was that on the track today? You know either one of you could have gotten hurt, right?” You were practically fuming. 

“You know I'm smart enough to not let either of us get hurt out there right?” He mimicked your tone. Whatever he said didn’t matter in the moment, you were too heated to even think straight. 

“Talk to me when you’ve calmed down, Y/N.” And with that, he walked away from you. 

────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────

 It was finally time for confrontation. 

You pulled out your phone camera to make sure you look decent enough to confront Seungcheol. Once you made sure you looked okay, you tucked it away in your  back pocket. Taking a deep sigh before knocking on Seungcheol’s hotel room, waiting for him to open the door. “Hey, Cheol…” You greet hesitantly, stepping inside and closing the door behind you, locking it shut just in case.

“Y/n…it’s so nice to see you!” Seungcheol smiled bitterly. “After you practically blew up on me in front of everyone today.” His fake ass smile dropped. 

You grimaced, hiding your face in embarrassment. “Don’t be like that, I just want to apologize.” You offered a small smile. 

“Delta time can be time too late, Y/N.”

If there was an embodiment of a question mark, it would be you right now. “You know I don't understand when you use racing speak, Seungcheol.”

“Delta time…anyway, just, don’t worry about it. I know you made your choice. Especially by the way you just full-named me. ” 

“Cheol-”

“We had a good run, yeah? don’t worry about it.” He smiled, “This doesn’t mean I don’t want to be friends though you know. I just want you to be happy even if it’s not with me and with my…teammate.” You could sense the lack of sincerity at the end. Seungcheol was not happy about this and you knew that. 

“Thank you Cheol” You smiled, opening your arms and offering him a hug which he gladly accepted, engulfing you in the most warm hug you’ve ever received from him. 

It wasn’t easy to let Cheol go but you had to do this for Jeonghan. 

You were the first to pull away from the hug. You gave him a smile before turning on your heels. 

“See you at the race on Sunday?” 

“You know it.” 

────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────

“It’s just me and you baby” Jeonghan breathed against your lips, pinning you up against the wall and relishing in the way you sigh out in relief when he finally presses his lips to yours. “Be as loud as you want love” 

Jeonghan knew damn well it was not just the two of you, somewhere in one of the stalls was Seungcheol. He was about to walk out when he heard you and Jeonghan at the door and ran into a stall to avoid being caught. 

“Please Jeonghan” You whimpered when he pulled away to trail his lips down your neck, “Touch me, please?” 

“I am touching you”  

“Jeonghan” Your voice raises a pitch. Jeonghan can’t stand it, he loves how your squirm and whimper, so desperate to get fucked by him. Something in him loves how pretty you sound when you beg, especially when you scream his name with your eyes rolling back into your head. 

“Please, please fuck me…”

“Shut up.” He groans, proceeding to jackhammer two fingers inside of you. You yelped in surprise, leaning back onto the wall, gripping onto Jeonghan’s arm to hold yourself up. Jeonghan’s other hand trails up and covers your eyes. Hold around your head tight, leaving you more vulnerable to his ministrations. 

“I want your cock Jeonghan, please” He loved that your noises were getting louder but he knew that when you finally got his cock you’d be even louder. Just what he wants for your little audience. Jeonghan halts his fingers in you and smears the wetness all over your aching pussy. 

“Pussy’s so wet for me, know why?” Jeonghan smirks,  “Cause you’re a fucking slut, and all sluts know how to do is take cock.” And without warning, he glides the entirety of his length in at the same time and you were left gasping at the stretch. 

“J-Jeonghan..” you moaned loud, “You’re so fucking big. Oh my fucking God.” Jeonghan chuckled, setting a brutal pace from the start. You could never get tired of fucking Jeonghan, every time with Jeonghan bringing you to a new wave of euphoria even you couldnt fathom. 

“Yeah? Who fucks you this good huh?” Jeonghan wrapped his hand, previously covering your eyes around your throat and applying just enough pressure to make you see stars. “You, Jeonghan! Only you can fuck me this good” His thrusts were sloppy but they were so hard and deep. Tears rolled down your cheeks with every thrust as your body buzzed with pleasure.

“Good fucking girl” He praised, “You’re so good to me aren’t you?” You couldn’t respond. You don’t think you had it in you to say anymore. Just letting moan after moan leave your lips as you writhed under his hold. 

He pressed a soft kiss to your lips, smiling at the way you attempted to kiss him back. 

“My pretty girl, only mine.” 

[toska-writes]

“Where the stars can shine”

Summary: the fighting never stops, and it never will so it’s in everyone’s best interest to find the calm moments when you can.

Pairing: The Bad Batch x padawan!reader (OF COURSE THIS IS PLATONIC)

Warning: none just so much fluff!

Word count: 1261 (not proof read but what did you expect)

Notes: IM WATCHING THE NEW BAD BATCH SEASON AFTER THIS! So this is my way of manifesting everyone being alright to end the show 🥲

The war never ended, nor would it for anyone who has endured it and its intensity.

One fight always rolled into another and nothing could be done to stop it. The only way to get through it was to find the little cracks in all the bad. The place where the sun could shine and the flowers could grow.

Or in this case, the stars could twinkle.

"This is already too high for me." Wrecker stated loudly hauling himself up the side of the Marauder.

Crosshair, who was currently under Wreck scoffed to himself before clambering up the side like it was nothing. "You never seem to have that problem when we're in the air." He quipped.

"Well I'm inside then." He whined finally being assisted by Hunter who had the small hands of Omega making sure he didn't fall.

You could only laugh at the scene, leaning back on Echo you could feel him laugh too.

"Who do you think's falling off first?" You ask with a smile that was masked by the moonlight.

"The real question is," Echo leaned forward, surprised a little bit that the top of the marauders could fit 5 fully grown clones plus omega and the Jedi padawan. "Who's going to be pushed off first."

You looked back towards him and in an instant you spoke the same word together. "Tech."

Speaking of the devil, Tech's voice rang out as you looked over to where he had an arm pointing something out beyond the horizon.

"-and if you look there you'll be able to see Endor"

Omega's eyes lit up brighter than they have been in the past few days, nothing seemed to be going right for that bad batch no matter how much they tried.

"Have you guys been there?" Omegas eyes scanned the rest of her family that sat gazing with her. The sky on this backwater planet was surprisingly clear, clearer than you thought it would be.

"Eh once or twice." Hunter shrugged it off with a smile as all that Omega could do was gawk up at her big brother.

"Thats an understatement." Crosshair added quietly from beside you. With a nudge to your shoulder he added. "That meat-head over there blew up more than half the forest and got us kicked out. For life."

"Hey!" Wrecker let go of his strong grip of the Marauder with one hand to wave it at the sniper.

Omega giggled giving you a glance as you could help but laugh at the exchange. "Have you?"

You could only smile at the found memories the question brought you. Landing with your Master on a planet you've never even heard of at that time. The trees the towered over you and the abundant shades of green that you didn't even know existed. The faint sound of your master laughing as you stared up from the base of the tall trees fathomed by the hight.

"Yeah I went once I think during the Clone Wars. It was beautiful there." You spoke, the smiles spread from Omegas face to Hunters as he watched you retell the fond memories.

"Well I also did kinda crash into a tree there but other than that the rest was beautiful." Echo hide his laugh behind you as you told the more embarrassing part of the trip.

"I think I did hear about that one." The ex arc trooper spoke out. You shoved him back slightly as your gaze returned to the stars above.

"Now if you all turn your gazes eastward you can spot the Orion constellation which should also mean the Canis Major is pretty close." Tech pointed upward now, his own eyes locked tightly on the stars.

"That one has the brightest star in the whole galaxy right?" Omega filled in, whether Tech wanted to continue himself or not he could only beam down at the girl, who clearly heard this from him before.'

You smiled also recounting when Tech probably told the group for the first time.

The bounty hunters came from nowhere that day, Omega gripped on the back of Echo's armor plate  with tears streaking down her face clearly scared.

Tech stood above you the, a data pad scanned over you as Hunter tried to apply some pressure to a wound you sustained on your side. Wrecker and Cross stood around the group, the sniper's gaze fixed on the darken horizon beyond.

Panicked breath sounded out and flown into the barren night, as much as you didn't want to scare Omega more you really could help it. You were scared yourself.

"Do you see that over there." Tech took your free arm in his hand and pointed up to the looming sky with it. "That really bright star?"

You were pulled back from your thoughts with the slightest nudge from Crosshair who spared you a glance, nobody else seemed to notice his movements

"I want to go to all of those planets one day." The words were light from Omega, a smile still evident in her voice.

"You'll definitely need to learn to fly then." You added shooting a look at Tech who finally spared a glance at someone else and was immersed in taking pictures of the different planets and constellations.

"If you can find another ship." Tech said mater-o-factly with a finger in the air.

"Aweeee Tech." Omega did the only thing she could think of, huge tooka eyes found Tech and with the pout of her bottom lip you could almost see the moment Tech cracked.

"More contemplation will be needed for that"

Though Omega wasn't disappointed for long as Crosshair whispered to her. "That's practically a yes."

Hunter laughed now shoving Crosshair back into a lying down position. He noted that his brother looked quite different without his armor, but it was a sight he could get used to.

Opening his mouth Tech was about to defend himself before a snore racked through the air. 

"Put someone else to sleep too Techy." Crosshair jabbed a finger at wrecker who still seemed to gripped the ship tightly.

You couldn't blame him though, and is wasn't just because of Tech talking, but you did insist the stars and planets were best to see in the late night. A yawn stifled through you, Echo wasn't the warmest person but the arms that wrapped around you from the clone seemed to do it.

"It's not even that late." Omega protested but her heavy eyelids seemed to contradict her own words.

"No no, we all can't fall asleep up here or it's going to be a pain getting down." Omega curled up into Hunters chest as he spoke. He slowly started to get up.

"One of us should get Wreck." Your own eyelids battled against you as you fought to sit up.

"On it." Crosshair was the last person who you thought would offer but as his leg extended you watched Wrecker rolled over the side.

His startled yell was masked by the thud of him hitting the soft grass below. 

"See it wasn't even that far." The skipper shrugged pushing himself over the edge and landing gracefully with even using the side to get down.

You chuckled as you rolled your eyes at the brothers were up to their old antics.

The chill air was a good contrast to the heated days that came before, so much fighting it seemed that it would never end.

Moments like these would always be cherished, and surprisingly Tech wasn't the one to get pushed off the Marauder.

_____________________________________

Taglist:

@arctrooper69 @thereforepizza @padawancat97 @pb-jellybeans @floffytofu @verybadatwriting @solstraalaa @ray-rook @gregorsmissingarmor

[thestrangeblob]

It's honestly so funny how the antis claim they have 4 books of foreshadowing, but most e/riel moment is what Azriel has done for other people as well,

Azriel putting his life down to save elain?

He was also ready to die Mor when he was gravely injured and in pain himself,

Azriel offering himself to help elain to the garden?

Offered himself to Feyre to her learn how to fly. And bonus points gave her salve when the training caused her pain.

Azriel laughing? I am sorry Gwyn made him laugh and smile more in one chapter than 4 books combined,

Him having sexual thoughts? He also had them for Mor,

The Azriel potato helping and wait for elain to come scene is literally just followed by Rhys telling Feyre how his mother was mistreated as a reasoning for his actions,

Elain calling his hands pretty and making him blush? Nesta made him blush by hugging him.

So, like is he also the endgame for Mor, Nesta, Feyre and Gwyn?

I'll explain to you exactly in detail why each of those scenes may seem insignificant in a vacuum but is actually a big deal with the context that surrounds it <3

(this is just azriel and elain content cause they're the only character in this quadrilateral that I care about lol)

-> azriel putting his life down to save elain

who is elain's biggest protector? nesta. who does feyre (aka the author) say would have "killed and whored and stolen for" for elain? nesta. and who hesitated, doubted that getting elain back from hybern would be so dangerous that it would result in death? nesta.

so here we have elain's biggest protector hesitating to get elain back even though we've seen her time and again do absolutely anything for her sister hesitating. and then we have the heroic love interest saying "I'm getting her back" and he's told "then you will die" and he responds "I'm getting her back"

and you know what? he does get his girl back. and he "gently removed" her gagged and she looked at him "devouring the sight" of him and both so lost in each others gazes feyre had to tell them to "hurry up". and he "cradled" her to his chest the entire walk back to camp with as "blood dripped" behind him and his first concern was the chains on her hands and not the grave wounds on his body. and ykw elain's first concern was thanking azriel with a kiss on his cheek rather than the horrendous chains on her hands.

soo...yeah thats romantic af

-> azriel offering himself to help elain to the garden

again in a vacuum it may seem like nothing BUT lets not forget that same instance is when elain's "mate" gets all jealous and Rhys has to say calm down dude "azriel isn't the ravishing type" LOL. (and if lucien really wanted to get in elain's good graces he could have done something like that to spend time with her but oh well)

and this isn't just one instance is it? anytime feyre or anyone says elain needs something azriel is ALWAYS volunteering or showing concern. he goes out of his way to spend time with elain (sunning his wings next to her, spending all of her first solstice night taking with her, opening time in the gardens with her, etc) I would say that's mate behaviour.

-> azriel laughing

Elain, who clenched her fork as if she might wield it against him, and Rhys slid into the seat beside me, Ariel on his other side. A faint smile bloomed upon Ariel's mouth as he noticed Elain's fingers white-knuckled on that fork

That smile (elain's) grew bright enough that it lit up even Azriel's shadows across the room. "I would like to build a garden," she declared.

Then Azriel tipped his head back and laughed. I’d never heard such a sound, deep and joyous. ... Azriel mastered himself enough to say, “Thank you.” I’d never seen his hazel eyes so bright

and when after that wretched night where rhys forbid azriel from kissing his crush:

He'd been replaced in training by a stone-faced Azriel. who was more aloof than usual and wouldn't even give her a smile.

-> Him having sexual thoughts? He also had them for Mor

babes idk if you read the later books but after the elriel scenes started its been repeated that "he'd forgotten mor" even in that glorious bonus chapter that y'all love. Rhys brings up mor and azriel says says "what about mor" LMAOO

-> the Azriel potato helping and waiting for elain to come

again you take things in vacuum but you have to consider all the scenes that came before it and all that follows it<3

(but I have to admit it was hot as hell ughhh)

-> elain calling his hands pretty beautiful and making him blush

what's the one body part azriel is constantly insecure about? his scarred hands. what's the first compliment elain gave azriel? that his hands were beautiful. what's the thing that azriel is always offering to elain? his hands to escort her to the gardens, to show her something she would like, etc

the hands chico, they never lie<3

nuff said honestly

[mmmfanfiction]

Hi!! Ik your probably stressed bc ur really active XD but I hope you drink some water and get some rest. When you find the time to write could I request a flippy/flipqy x reader Christmas head cannons?

Also if your doing the anon thing could I be -🌹 anon ?

Thats super sweet of you, anon! I hope that you’re getting a bunch of water and rest too! Sorry this came in so late, I started writing but didn’t finish. However I did give myself the deadline of Christmas which helped me actually finish this (finishing things on the deadline gang) anyway, I hope you like it!

warnings: mentions of death, literally nothing else just me imagining Fliqpy being like a lethal house cat-

Flippy

🧸I like to think Christmas is like a sense of nostalgia for Flippy.

🧸Like he’s done it his entire life, so it brings him back to his childhood.

🧸Flippy defo decorates, but not in the overboard, as soon as thanksgiving ends, everything’s lit up kind of way.

🧸More of a chill decorator. Doesn’t go all out but theirs definitely decoration.

🧸However if your one of those big decorators he will definitely help out with some things. Also he won’t let you go on the roof unless your experienced. Even then he’s like hovering below you.

🌹”Babe I’m not gonna fall, you don’t have to follow me wherever I go with that pillow.”

🧸”But I don’t want you to get hurt :(“

🧸I feel like he knows how to make REALLY good hot cocoa

🧸Like, tastes like it’s straight from heaven.

🧸He makes amazing cookies too.

🧸Also crochets cute little Christmas sweaters.

🧸Even makes matching ones.

🧸Flip definitely puts lots of thought into gifts.

🧸Like he will ask everyone you know just to gauge the best thing to get for you.

🧸His wrapping looks really good!….. if you don’t look at the bottom-

🧸Is open to trying new traditions. Like if you have a bit more spice added to your Christmas traditions then he’ll try them out too!

🧸Has like really obscure but also really sweet Christmas movies.

🧸Also old ones, like the stop motion Rudolf the reigndeer. 

🧸Just please don’t let him watch nightmare before Christmas, or at least avoid the one scene where the military starts shooting down Jack. That will not be a good time for either of you, especially not poor Flips.:(

🧸All in all, very warm n cuddly being w/ Flippy on Christmas. 

Fliqpy

🔪Now this little shit-

🔪Idk where that was going I just wanted to call Fliqpy a little shit.

🔪Anyways he’s not used to Christmas.

🔪Would 100% use the lights to strangle someone-

🔪Though he’s really good to have around if you wanna chop your own tree.

🔪The first Christmas he spends with you I don’t imagine him really getting you anything, and also getting flustered when you give him a gift.

🔪Afterwords he starts putting a bit more effort into this whole Christmas thing.

🔪Either a really shitty gift giver or a really great gift giver. No inbetween 

🔪Will fall asleep during Christmas movies.

🔪Unless maybe it doubles as a horror movie. Like idk Black Christmas or smth(I’ve never watched Black Christmas so don’t quote me on that but I really want to but I don’t want my mum to walk in and be like ‘WTF ARE YOU WATCHING!?’ Anyways back on track)

🔪Flippys not used to the domestic vibe of Christmas

🔪However if you also believe in Krampus he might be a liiittttleee bit more into it(long live Krampus)

🔪I imagine he really likes hot cocoa but won’t admit it.

🔪Also thinks Santa’s a creep

🔪”So, let me get this straight. You celebrate a dude BREAKING INTO YOUR HOUSE??”

🌹”…. He gives us gifts-“

🔪Really good at wrapping things to make them look like something they’re not. Like you think you’re opening a doll but it’s actually a pocket knife :)

[bump1nthen1ght]

Out of The Woods (Epilogue: Part 2)

Pairing: M! Werewolf x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Domestic Life, Established Relationship

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1797 words

Summary: Nothing says love better then an impromptu living room dance party

(AKA a fun snippet of you and Heath's life)

A/N: The fluffy piece won second in the poll and I already has this in the works so I hope y'all enjoy!!

ALSO

Recommended listening: Bet On It from High School Musical 2

(which if you haven't seen this scene, do yourself a favor and watch it lol)

In a weird way, Heath being a werewolf didn’t come up too often in your house.

It was probably because many of his wolf traits had become normal to your everyday routine. His long hair, his shaggy tail, and even his wolf form assimilated into your isolated farm-life with very little issue.

(And with the hunters off your back and most townsfolk none the wiser, it could stay that way)

It was only when he’d ask you a pop culture question everyone should know, or ate the steaks you had bought raw as a midnight snack, or forgot how your air conditioning work, that you were reminded of it. How long had Heath lived as an “other”, detached from society and other people? You very rarely broached the subject, knowing how he would get quiet and bristle at the thought of the past. Of living on his own, on the edge.

So you’d answer his simple questions, let him gnaw on some bones, and let him tell you when he needed to. It was better that way.

You’re watching a movie one night, not a terribly good one, where the main character gets dragged to a club by her friends. They’re convincing her she needs to ‘live a little’, forcing her out of her comfort zone and onto the crowded, sweaty dance floor. The scene is dark and not very well lit, the background music not properly mixed and drowing out most of the audio. Though you guess thats pretty accurate to the club experience.

“Do people actually do that?”

Heath asks, head laid in your lap as you play with his hair.

“Do what?”

“Go to…that.” He points at the scene, eyes scrunched up at the jarring lights and mass amounts of people. “Go to a crowded place in the dark and dance? Why not go somewhere with some room? This place looks like a fucking nightmare.”

You laugh, watching as the clumsy main character dives and dances between egregiously grinding couples.

“It definitely can be, but people seem to love it.” You twirl a finger through Heath’s hair, only paying half-attention to the clunky dialogue. “And it can be nice once in a while, especially if you’ve got a good group of friends.” You chuckle. “Me and my college buddies would sometimes get wasted before hand, go and dance for an hour or two, then come back and get in our pj’s and watch a movie. I prefer clubs in short bursts; they can be kind of exhilarating, but exhausting.”

Heath hums, pressing his head into your palm when you scratch behind his ear. It makes you smile, but not before seeing the slightly melancholy look on his eye.

You look up at the screen. Now the main character is thoroughly drunk, holed up in the bathroom with her friends and laughing her ass off. They all dance terribly, cracking jokes and hugging each other the way drunk people do. They’ve all got big smiles on their face, even in the grimy bathroom.

Heath has gone quiet, your hands still running through his hair. He sighs.

You weren’t a big club person anymore, but you do remember loving that time of your life. Sure, you’re shitty knees and early bedtime weren’t great for it now and you’re sure you left those clubs wondering why anybody does that on the regular, but you had still been able to do it. To knock it off the checklist, even just to say it wasn’t for you.

You don’t think Heath ever did. Never was able to be that careless, joyful, and deliriously young.

“This movie sucks ass.”

Now that’s more like Heath.

—

The look on Heath’s face lingers with you for the rest of the night and into the morning, enough to remind you when you both sit down to watch something again the next night.

“How about we don’t watch a movie tonight?”

Heath turns his head up from his tub of popcorn, quirking his brow.

“Oh, did you wanna play some video games?”

“No…” You look at the dimmer switch not too far from the couch. Its right next to your back porch door, adorned with some fairy lights you hung up and proceeded to never use. That, combined with the never used bluetooth speaker above your fireplace, gives you an idea.

You hop up from the couch, queing up a certain song in your phone before flicking the dimmer and the fairy lights. The low light makes Heath’s wolf eyes shine, his ears flicking as he readjusts to his surroundings. With a little beep from the speaker, you set down your phone and jog in front of Heath, letting the song start. His ears swivel again, looking up at you like the adorable puppy he can be.

“Isn't this that song from that movie a couple nights ago?”

“Yeah!” You bop to the beat, shimmying your shoulders to the heavy drum beat intro. “Don’t pretend you didn’t like it. I heard you humming it in the shower yesterday morning. Now come on!” You grab and pull at Heath’s hand, even knowing he’s far too big for you to make him budge. “Come dance with me! Everybody’s always talking at me-”

Heath rolls his eyes, but you can tell he enjoys your discordant singing.

“Everybody’s trying to get in my head. I wanna listen to my own heart talkin’. I wanna listen to my own heart talking. I need to count on myself instead. Did you ever-”

With a dramatic pout om his face, Heath chuckles and sits up, grabbing your hand as you sing into a pretend microphone. But you’re still doing most of the dancing, shaking your hips back and forth. You wiggle your eyebrows and try to encourage him to move.

“What exactly should I do?”

“Just…” you wiggle your fingers, “let your body roll with the music. Let it consume you.” Hands still interlocked, you begin to sway Heath’s arms back and forth. He gets some of the idea, bobbing his head. Your shoulder movements become exaggerated, trying to look as ridiculous as possibke to encourage Heath to loosen up.

“I’m not gonna stop, that’s who I am. I’ll give it all I got, that is my plan.” Heath laughs at your flailing arms, beginning to shimmy his shoulders like you are. You mime the dramatic facial expressions of Zac Efron, gesturing to Heath to join you in singing. He rolls his eyes, but starts mutter-singing anyway. You didn’t expect him to know all the lyrics, but he’s actually hitting all the words with you.

I knew he liked High School Musical 2.

You pull Heath out to the middle of the living room, giving you more space to add some footwork as the chorus hits. You yank Heath’s arms back and forth and shake your hips, which only makes Heath laugh more.

“-you know you can bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on me!”

You let loose one hand and stretch out to the side on the long note, when Heath pulls you back toward him for a spin. You giggle uncontrollably, singing louder and louder, squealing when Heath dips you. He nuzzles your nose and gets a peck to the lips in return.

You hop up, throwing your hand to your forehead when the dramatic slow part begins. He rolls his eye again, but you can see him nodding along.

“It’s no good at all, to see yourself and not recognize your face-” Heath hops in with the backing “oohs”. You point an exaggerated finger. “Out on my own, it’s such a scary place.” You’re cut off when Heath pulls you into his chest, wrapping his arms around your waist. But you’re even more gobsmacked when he sings the next part, in earnest.

“The answers are all inside of me. All I gotta do-” His voice is surprisingly melodic, deep but not flat or even off-pitch. “-is believe.”

The natural pause in the music would be the perfect time to sneak in a romantic kiss, but you’re both caught up in the performance now. You both turn to look at an inaginary camera when the music drops, arms now locked as if dancing ballroom.

“I’m not gonna stop, not gonna stop till I get my shot.” Moving across the living room with messy footwork, you two belt the chorus. Heath draws you down for another dip when the long note of “-bet on meee” hits. It’s silly, but you do feel like a pop star.

From the outside you’re sure you look absolutely insane. Just two adults flailing and dancing around their living room as speakers blast. If you had neighbors, they’d definitely complain or be calling the cops by now.

But right now, its just you and Heath. Dancing together, hearts pounding, with big smiles and stupid amounts of giggling. Just a pocket of your life, all sweet and your own.

The song slowly fades out, leaving to lean over and shamefully realize how out of breath you are.

God, I need to start hiking or something. This is embarassing

Heath, with his wolf stamina, is not even breathing heavy and catches you in a hug, peppering your cheek with kisses. He bounces on his heels and practically throws you down on the couch, his tail wagging behind him. He snuggles into your neck, blowing raspberries into your skin and making you laugh.

Still letting your heart slow down, you exhale and look at Heath.

“So….how’d you like you’re first dance party?”

“I liked it!” Heath pants, a big stupid smile one his face. “More than I thought I would. You being so terrible at dancing really helped.” You gasp, playfully smacking his shoulder. He blows another rapsberry into your neck, the pleqsant rumble in his chest. After a coupe more play hits and giggles, Heath relaxes into your arms. “I’ve…never really done anything like that before. It was nice.”

“Well, I’m happy to be your first.” You run a couple fingers through Heath's hair, stopping to scratch at the base of his wolf ears. He nuzzles even deeper. “And if you ever feel the need to dance party again, just let me know.”

The two of you sit like that awhile, as you often do. Just basking in each other's warmth, soaking in the skin contact.

You can’t wait to spend more firsts with him.

[dark-night-hero]

Imagine being Diluc and Kaeya's older sibling.

Imagine being that time of the year. Looking down at your two lovely siblings, one red and one blue. You cannot help but to smile at the scene as the two got along really well as they talked to Adelinde about the choices of food for the night.

"Now now young masters, what should we get for dinner?" "Chicken mushroom skewers!" "Pile em up!" Just like that the two turn at each other with a glare "What about the drinks?" "Grape juice!" "But I don't like grape juice.." "I don't like skewers.." And now they were looking at each other with a tearful not wanting to loose face. "Aren't they lovely?" You spoke, glancing back at your aide who just sweat dropped at you.

Imagine looking at the scene for a couple more of second as you smirk amusement at Adelinde's obviously distressed with the two children. And then you have a bright idea causing you to make your way down stairs. "Master (First name). You're up." "Ah yes, I just woke up right now actually." You chuckle, that was lie. You woke up like an hour ago, causing your aide to let out a few fake cough right behind you in which you pretend not to notice.

"Also you're talking about the dinner for tonight right?" "Yes, it was rare to have the family completed in such event so I figured out to ask the young master what to prepare for the luncheon but.." Looking at the two children with tears running down their pouty faces, you smirk. "If thats the case, how about you prepare for some of my favorite food for tonight? I'm pretty sure they'll like it, my favorite drink would also be appreciated." You smile innocently at the two as they look at you like they have some across a big villain. Haha, cuties.

Imagine that same night as you were having your luncheon dinner with the rest of the staffs in the manor, in the middle of your conversation with Uncle, now your adoptive father with some business matters, you manage to catch a glimpse of Diluc and Kaeya's sulking faces upon seeing the food prepared right in front of their faces. And then they took a bite of it, slowly but surely, their cute little faces lit up. "(First name)? Is there something wrong?" "Hmm? Nothing. In fact I'm quite happy tonight." You said with a chuckle. Glad you two enjoy it.

"I think.. I think I should do the wrapping.." "Nonsense, I can do this. There is nothing I can't do.." "Wrapping I suppose?" ".. fine you do it." "Well if you really want, I can lend you a hand if you'll allow me?" "Fine, teach me." "That's what I've been trying to do for a while now Master." "Oh shut it will you?"

Imagine after an hour of twist and bickering with your aide, perhaps taking advantage of being in the same age as you. The two of you walked down the manor, two gifts in your aide's hand as the two of you stopped under the huge ass tree in the middle of the hall. On the table in the corner of the room was a meal of pile em up and chicken mushrooms skewers as well as a glass of grape juice and.. wine? You almost burst out laughing. "Please hold it Master. We don't want the young masters to wake up" "Pfff oh please."

Imagine the day after, you joyful tears and laughter was the only sound that wake you up as much to your aide's dismay given the fact that he was been trying to wake you up for a while now but got no reaction but here you are waking up at the sound of your siblings have fun.

Imagine dragging yourself all the way towards the tailings of the second floor to have a better view of your younger siblings on the ground floor, your aide trailing right behind you with his own box of presents. There you lean against the railings, looking down was the happy faces of your younger brother opening up their gifts, one was a little claymore sword and the other was a new black eye patch with a simple pattern, much better than the same old boring white medical one. Also do not forget about the extra present, two tortoise on a small glass container.

Imagine the smile on your face, the way you let out a sigh of relief at the few of your younger siblings enjoying their presents for the special occasion for the day. "Master?" "Yeah?" "Here." "What?" "Here, a present." ".. Thank you." Despite your adoptive father busy schedule for the day, leaving you and your little siblings to spend the rest of the day, maybe it wasn't that bad as you thought. "Could you tell Adelinde to dress up the boys? I'm planning to take them to the city with me." "As you wish my liege."

Imagine as years have gone by, looking back at the memorable times you've spend with your siblings, there was a bitter smile on your face. "Master Diluc and Master Kaeya has yet to reply to the invitation, I think.." "We'll be spending this time on our own again?" You chuckle, "It's all right. I suppose they're busy like the past few years."

Imagine after the death of your adoptive father, nothing was the same as it was, Diluc left leaving you to manage all the things that was left behind, and although Kaeya never left, the distance between the two of you. It was already too late when you noticed it, leaving you off on your own to manage. But then again, looking at your aide, no. Your lover currently making your luncheon for the night, "What?" "Nothing" You shake your head with a small smile on your face.

Imagine as the two of you was about to start, there was a knock on your door. It was late, plus the manor was in a bit of a secluded area per your request when you moved so people doesn't really come here unless needed. Perhaps? Still you shake your head, you knew better than to get your hopes up. There was a time where you're actually all excited, but then as time passed by, you just don't want to get disappointed, you don't want to get hurt by your own expectations.

"Who- oh darling. It's the traveler." "Really? Tell her to get i-" "She says she had only come to deliver a present." "Wha- pfff what pre-" "Would you mind preparing another set of cutlery for the night?" "If you don't mind us bargaining late for the night? We're hoping that the invitation is still-?!" Before you knew it yourself, you're already hugging your two younger siblings with a flabbergasted look on your face.

Imagine crying before you knew it, still clinging into your younger siblings, they have no idea of what to do, unconsciously clenching on the gifts on their hands. The feeling of guilt creeping up on their chest just seeing you like this. Realizing how hard it must have been for you for the past few years because the two of them suddenly went on their own way, leaving you torn and wondering what happened between the two of them. You were alone all these time, or so they thought when they notice your once aide approaching.

"I.." "We.." "Right. How about we save that for later? The food is getting cold." "Oh dear yes, you're right. Ms. Lumine, paimon. Please do stay for the night and join us and the boys for the meal." You spoke with a smile upon withdrawing away from your siblings. "Oh dear I suddenly missed Adelinde and oh your friends too, Jean and Barbara such a shame they couldn't make it for the night." "... Adelinde says she got something to do, I brought a gift on her behalf." "Same goes with Jean and Barbara.."

Imagine as the luncheon dinner passes by, there was nothing but small comfortable talks, strange enough it felt comforting and not uncomfortable as much to their surprise and expectations maybe it was because of the traveler and paimon who mostly do the talking but they were pretty sure of one thing. It's like nothing have changed. You're still the same, although they could tell you've aged quite a bit, perhaps because it's been a long time since they've seen you, because it really has been a long time.

"Thank you for coming tonight. I really mean it." It was your lover who spoke to them as they waited for you, who was currently with the traveler and paimon cleaning the dinning table in the kitchen. "It was nothing." "It was nothing." They both spoke at the same time. "Ehem, rather we're thankful for inviting us despite not giving any heads up nor reply." "What's important is that you've come." "Can we ask, how were they doing these past few years?"

Imagine the look on their faces, the way both of their fist curl upon self frustration as they heard about have you've been doing the past few years. For the first time, well, not really the first time as they've already been told by Adelinde, one of the reasons why they decided to call it a truce for the day as they came here despite the bickering and sarcastic on the way with the traveler having to put up with it.

Imagine it was their time to leave, as much as they want to take the offer and stay for the night, they all got something to do. Bidding your goodbye with the traveler, you turn to your siblings. "I'm not sure if I've already said it but, thank you for coming, Luc, Kaeya." You smile at the two. "If it wasn't that much to ask, would you like to come over in some other time? In normal days? You don't even have to give a heads up, just knock on our door and... haha I'm sorry, I know you two are busy most of the time. Please do forget about it."

Imagine once again they felt a pang on their chest, but this time, before they could regret anything again. "We.. We will come. We'll drop by when we have time.. Isn't that right, Kaeya?" ".. Right. We'll make sure to bring the others that time too." "Really?" "Really." "Really." "Then that's a relief." You smile at them. "Oh no, you should go, it's getting late. I've hold you guys up for too long."

Imagine as you rest on the arms of your lover as you watch the duo and your siblings walking away from afar, you seem to notice Diluc and Kaeya bickering from afar causing a smile on your face but then they suddenly turn around causing you to raise a brow. "What's with them?" "I don't know?" But then as you read their lips saying. "Thank you for tonight. Merry Christmas"

Imagine upon reading their lips, a rare smile on their faces could be scene. At the same time, the flashbacks of their younger version came into mind that time where they received the present you've given them back when they were still a kid. "Ah really, they're so cute." You laugh, for some odd reasons, you felt like you won't just be spending these kinds of celebrations alone with just your lover anymore, but rather as the way it was before.

[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2022°

: kinda late but merry christmas everyone :)

[xplrvibes]

you could tell Colby was rightfully pissed the whole time they were in the basement, but he seemed to have cheered up by bedtime, so I bet they discussed the whole basement situation in the gap between emerging from the basement and going to sleep.

In my opinion Sam was more in the wrong in that situation but I understood why he did what he did in a place like that seeing and hearing all that shit, wondering if its real or fake his desperate desire to prove to himself by going at it alone kicked in just as it did in the Graveyard in England. I can understand that, but at the same time I side more with Colby when he was telling Sam off.

1 because it sounded like they had promised to do it together and breaking promises is a big nono, 2 he took the big moment for himself which in a way is kinda selfish of him (though I do not think this was his intention when he did it) and 3 it's a super unsafe thing to do without telling anybody, wtf would he have done if something had actually happened? No one would have known he was down there, so no one would have been able to come and help him. Colby would have woken and found him gone and maybe have to make some kind of discovery which you would not wish on anybody.

So I am really glad Colby didn't just let Sam get away with this, even if it meant the whole basement segment was far more tense than it otherwise would have been (and maybe led to Colby being more confrontational with 'Dave') I'm glad by the end of the video they seemed in a better place though, like they might have talked about it and made up. (and we knoww they are masters at talking shit out with each other since they apparently do it alot to maintain their relationship lol) Hopefully Sam learns from it this time though, cos he clearly didn't learn from it when they were in the UK all those years ago.

(These asks are from the third episode. Fourth episode aska to follow!

Yea, he was definitely pissed off - which, as a sidenote, judging by the amount of edits I've seen about that scene on the past few days, nobody is complaining about lol.

But yea, he was upset and had a right to be. Even taking friendship out of the equation, to undercut a business associate like that for personal gain is not a cool thing to do at all.

And we're talking about Sam, who once actually said in a previous video that he knows it upsets Colby when he doesn't include him in stuff or tell him where he's going. So, he knows this is a pain point of Colby's. He knows Colby is not going to take this well. He knows Colby is both worried about and excited for the prospect of them doing the basement together. He knows this is going to be their Big Scene.

And he went down there and tried to take the moment for himself.

And, whether he wants to acknowledge it or not...thats why he went down there. He could've had his moment of discovery and freak out anywhere in that house. Anywhere. He could've gone outside, he could've gone upstairs, he could've gotten in the car and drove to get an awful awful somewhere (if you've never had one of those...don't) and thought it out inside a flourescently lit diner...his grandma had nothing to do with the basement. None of what had happened in that place was related to the basement.

He wanted the moment. He wanted to force something to happen. He does this every once in a while, for reasons known only to him - like when he went down the bad cave in the hell fire caves and didn't tell anyone he was going to do it, or when he wandered out into the cemetery on his own in the Castle series, or even when he sat on the pentagram in the Sallie House. He wants things to happen to him so he can control the narrative and have the experience, cause he's not content with the experiences he does have. He's playing with fire, and I kind of think he wants the burn.

It frustrates me, cause it's a selfish thing to do sure, but also because they don't need to be doing all this crap. You don't need to do stupid and dangerous shit to make shit happen...it'll happen all around you if you just calm the fuck down and let it. It's all so unnecessary, to me anyway.

But at the end of the day, this isn't some kind of breakdown fight or anything serious, especially for the two of them and what they are to each other. I am absolutely certain that Sam realized he upset, disappointed, and hurt Colby's feelings and I'm sure he apologized. I'm also sure Colby, who knows Sam better than anyone else on the planet, knows why Sam does these things and isn't going to let it fester longer than it has to. I'm sure they were totally fine by the next day; such is the nature of relationships like theirs.

I'm also sure this will happen again someday 🤣.

But man, angry Colby is something to behold, huh? It's so rare that we get to see it...its like seeing Haley's Comet lol.

[scottyistired]

gender coining dump

was gunna make flag 4 these but got bored :// im prolly gunna make more 2 you can make flags 4 these if you want, you can also just take them if you want free 4 any1 regardless of my dni, just don't be rude directly 2 me :3 gendas under the cut

Overrueretasiegender- a gender relating to overgrown ruins in a fantastical sense. like an adventurer coming across an overgrown castle or temple, maybe inhabited by a magical creature or being. this gender feels whimsical and in awe, like discovering something new, something to behold.

Overgrouenbiengender- a gender relating to overgrown bones. this gender feels old, lost deep in the woods, but repurposed. something dead giving way to new life, a renewal cycle. despite being lost, it is not discarded nor forgotten as the woods reclaimed the bones as their own.

TSPliminalgender- a gender relating to the liminalness of the stanley parable. the best example is the confusion ending but any setting and/or scene/room in the stanley parable (ultra deluxe too) can apply to this gender. either you going through the rooms or you being the rooms itself

Skipplantgender- a gender relating to the skip button scene with plants. this gender either feels like a moment of peace during an unfortunate, painful, and/or terrifying situation or a peaceful setting with something more malicious brooding under the surface. or maybe its just the plants during the skip button

Phosskipplantial- a gender that is lit by the green light during the skip button scene with the plants

Bettermcshadergender- a gender relating to the better minecraft modpack with shaders, thats really it i just like the better minecraft modpack. this gender is whimsical n is very high fantasy but doesnt have 2 b. Baredteethquoteic- gender relating to the quote "I kiss you with bared teeth in fear that you might bite back." from a drabble written by me

Yourclothesquoteic- a gender relating to the quote "Your clothes are dirtied, whether it is with my blood or yours it is hard to tell, I doubt it ever mattered in the first place." from a drabble written by me

Hardtolovequoteic- a gender relating to the quote "It's hard to love a man who only knows how to love through spilled blood. It's hard to love a man who only knows how to bare his teeth and snarl. It's hard to love something that only knows how to bite back at the hand that feeds. It's hard to love a beast who only knows how to hurt and how to bleed." from a drabble written by me

Youwereatestquoteic- a gender relating to the quote "You were nothing but a test, a casualty." from a poem written by me

Onyourhandsquoteic- a gender relating to the quote "Their blood is on your hands, yet you have the gall to be disgusted by it." from a short story written by me

Smellslikeironquoteic- a gender relating to the quote "No tears will spill. No wails will be heard. No one is watching. No one cares. The leaves sway in an unapologetic apathy. You close your eyes in tired acceptance. It smells like iron." from a short story written by me

Bloodanddirtquoteic- a gender relating to the quote "Hands covered in blood and dirt. A new stain is added for every truth you buried, for every sin you committed, for every vow you have broken." from a poem written by me

Gnashyourteethquoteic- a gender relating to the quote "What would you do afterward; when you are finally pure, wash free of the stains that bind you? Do you expect to stay clean? To stay so…divine? Do you think you can keep your jaw clenched? You expect yourself to not snarl, to not gnash your teeth and bite?" from a poem written by me

Ungodlysnarlsquoteic- a gender relating to the quote "So your cries echo into screeches, into ungodly snarls made by a beast whose broken more than it has made. Who asks for more than it gave." from a poem written by me

Hurtcrybleedquoteic- a gender relating to the quote "Did it hurt? Did you cry? Did you bleed?" from a poem written by me

Storyisoverquoteic- a gender relating to the quote "The damage has been done, the wounds have bled, the building has collapsed, the story is over, and he's gone. Stanley is gone" from a fanfic written by me

Fragilevowsquoteic- a gender relating to the quote "Fragile vows in the hands of beasts, their nature only to break and destroy." from a fanfic written by me

Whatafernseesquoteic- a gender relating to the quote "I wish I knew what a fern sees in a clearing. Unseen, untouched, unnoticed by man. I want to know what pure nature looks like without the restraint of human eyes." written by me

[electrificata]

having music critic thots abt the weeknd im so so sorry

i saw the weeknd in concert last summer, it was amazing. i really dont like stadium shows usually, but his was killer, he had a cool stage concept (gently mad max-ish cult leader and his dancer-disciples, giant inflatable moon) and he's got the presence to fill up all that space. and ive been listening to him for almost a decade, obviously the music's there. actually the show i was at was where he debuted the trailer for the idol. its out now and i havent watched yet. i thought it looked cool then, but after everything ive heard.....im just really ambivalent.

in the early days, when he was keeping mysterious, no press, no photos, you didnt even know if the weeknd was a band or a guy. just this chilly, atmospheric, sleazy/sexy horror-movie r&b. nothing supernatural. but cruel. the lyrics were all about the worst kind of fuckboy shit, and obviously drugs, and the music really seemed to give proper weight to it. the speaker in the songs was awful, the music was telling you that his actions were violent and terrifying for the women he's hurting and for toxic for himself. if youre a person attracted to men, you know what its like to see how awful a guy can be and still be into him, maybe even BECAUSE of how awful he is. thats a fucking horror movie. those first xo eps are crazy, i still listen to them.

then he goes pop star. i remember the collab w/ ariana grande in 2014 was surprising but it found a perfect, plausible midpoint between their two universes. then he goes full max martin in 2015 with "can't feel my face" and again, bizarre to see this plausible way for the prince of darkness to get to the top 40 via a neo-michael jackson jam with a veiled drug reference as opposed to multiple explicit ones. but it made sense! he danced onstage now! i remember hearing it on the radio when i was picking my cousins up from middle school, that felt surreal.

and he just kept on doing the popstar thing. i dont think the sleaze ever really left, it just receded into the background. killer atmosphere, more pop hooks, a general darkness that felt credible coming from him because of the early stuff, its just lit with neon now. he gets increasingly more conceptual, which i love. i love a concept album. its still about fucked up relationships and now death more generally instead of drugs specifically. cool, great. i've been with him the entire time. that brings us up more-or-less to the present.

im not gonna recap all the shit around the idol, if you want it im sure theres an article or youtube video thatll do a better job than i can. ill just summarize my own thoughts: it feels like the sleaze is back, maybe some of the horror, but also Glamour. johnny depp's supermodel daughter has cum on her face. we're seeing headlines about how gross the sex scenes are. look how Glamorous this is. classic showbiz trick of using a cautionary tale about gross men preying on women to just....create images and narratives about gross men preying on women. this might be the place i cant follow him. i cant rule out watching it, i am a habitual hater and i might be in the mood to hate soon. but its making me think about the way we use glamour and beauty in entertainment. it cant be a default, it has an effect on the story.

[airsignss]

HBO War Fluffy Holiday Prompts Day 11

Title: See What I Look Like Under Them Lights

Prompt(s): Decorating & Snowed In

Pairing: cmon now

Rating: T-ish

Words: 1864

Authors note: am i cheating? I think im cheating bc i combined 2 prompts. Sorry, im bad at this stuff. Work and life got in the way this week but I still wanted to do something this week so i did a lil twofer. TBH this coming week is much the same (board meeting+ holiday obligations) so i may end up doing the same but we’ll see. Same au and all that, bc thats all i know how to write so hope you enjoy! [Prompt(s) from @almost-a-class-act]

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Gene had gotten used to snow, he had even come to enjoy it in a way. Living in the north for long enough with no plans to leave he came to accept it as a fact of life. There were limits to it though, and being outside working while the stuff fell in blankets was one of them.

“Why did we have to do this today?” Gene asked as he climbed up the ladder, the string of lights wrapped around his arm. He did his best to shield his face from the wet sting of the snow hitting it. Babe settled his weight on the bottom rung for safety when Gene was far enough up.

“We are literally supposed to get a foot and a half more of snow, we wouldn’t have been able to get it done any other time.” He explained. They had gone back and forth all day, it was their first Christmas in their home and Babe wanted to make a statement. “Besides we are literally almost done, we just have to do the porch after this, so buck up buttercup.” He quipped, leaning up to smack Gene’s ass. Gene turned around and glared playfully at Babe who winked.

“If I didn’t love you so much…” Gene grumbled, stringing the lights in the clips he had placed along the eaves edge.

“But ya do, so you can’t complain.” Babe remarked, sticking his tongue out to catch the floating flakes. Gene plugged in the string to the adjoining one and held his breath as he made sure everything lit completely. When it did, he grinned and turned to look down at Babe. Babe’s face was illuminated by the glow, and his eyes were lit with wonder.

Gene climbed down the rungs and pulled Babe into his arms as soon as he was back on the ground. “Perfect.” Babe said softly, his smile wide and excited like a child. The day had turned to night hours ago, so the other houses on the street with decorations were lit as well. It felt like a scene from the holiday movies he would watch as a child, where a white Christmas was all but a fairytale in the backwoods of Louisiana. The snow picked up, the storm had fully arrived so they quickly finished wrapping lights and called it good; saying anything that needed fixing they could do the next day.

“Tell me again why we need two trees, run through that one more time.” Gene said as he pulled the box containing the new seven footer into their front living room. Babe followed close behind with the bags of decorations he bought specifically for it. Gene let the box drop and he collapsed back into the overstuffed sofa.

“Because this one is the nice tree, it is gonna rotate and everything just wait until you see it it’s fucking neat!” He said, giddy to set up his new toy. Gene watched as he took a pocket knife to the box, slashing the tape open.

“What’ wrong with our old one?Why can’t we have it in here?” He asked through a yawn. The tree that Babe had bought the first year they were together that they subsequently used from that point on was set up in the family room, decorated with ornaments they had curated together over their nearly seven years together; it was a snapshot of the life they had built together. Babe set the knife down and joined Gene on the couch, settling into his lap. He wrapped his arms around Gene’s shoulders, his fingers scratching at the back of Gene’s head the way Babe knows he likes.

“Nothing is wrong with it, it has all the special stuff on it; and it will be for our family, whatever that ends up looking like. This is like… it’s ‘the pretty tree’, I’ve never had one of those but you moved me to the suburbs so now I get to have one. So if anything, this is your fault.” He told Gene, his voice deceptively sweet. Gene snorted out a laugh and rolled his eyes. Babe smiled and placed a quick, chaste kiss on his partner's lips.

“Funny, I don’t remember that being part of our closing agreement when we bought this place.” He remarked and it was Babe’s turn to roll his eyes. He stood up and took a breath before giving the explanation one more time.

“Family room, family tree; Living room, pretty tree. That’s it, that's all you have to remember. And after this one we’re literally done since I did everything else so quit your bitching.” He said, his tone playfully bitchy. Gene silently gestured for Babe’s hand, asking for help getting up. Babe obliged and pulled Gene up and into another embrace. Gene buried his face in Babe’s neck and Babe pressed a kiss into the side of Gene’s head. They stood like that for a few more moments, rocking back and forth before Babe put space between them.

“You’re stalling, come on.” He directed. Gene huffed and reached down for the remote, putting on a local news channel for noise in the background. The pair began the task of setting up the tree, their differing styles clashing. Babe carefully read the instructions while Gene reached into the box and tried to parse what each piece might do.

“-and most recent forecast out of the National Weather Service in State College is saying some folks in the viewing area could see up to three feet overnight, while Pittsburgh is keeping with their 2 and a half model. Either way folks in the tri-state area are gonna be digging out tomorrow morning.” The meteorologist on screen said, his forecast background noise as the pair worked on their project together.

“Three feet, Jesus christ. I don’t think we’ve ever seen that much snow around here.” Babe muttered from under the tree, connecting cords and changing the settings. Gene nodded even though Babe couldn’t see him.

“If I had to go in tomorrow I’d be fucked.” He said absently catching a glimpse of Babe’s ass as he squirmed under the tree, thinking of all the things they COULD do with nothing to do and nowhere to go.

“Stop staring at my ass and flip the switch.” Babe ordered, still under the tree but shimmying out. Gene waited until Babe was safely out and flipped the switch.

“How did you know I was staring at your ass?” He asked and Babe shrugged.

“Because it was right there, and I know how you are, pervert.” He said nonchalantly, sitting up straight to see if the tree was working. Gene didn’t even have the courtesy to be embarrassed, he just shrugged and threw Babe a winking with a knowing smirk. Babe looked at the tree, the lights crossing both their faces as it spun slowly. Babe scampered slightly, quickly getting up to turn the lights of the room off to get the full effect.

“Ain’t that something?” He asked, more rhetorically than anything. Gene nodded in agreement and gestured for Babe to sit back down with him.

“I get it now.” He said and Babe turned to look at him inquisitively. “I get the pretty tree.” Babe giggled, leaning in to kiss Gene soundly on the mouth. After a few more minutes of admiration, they began to decorate with the all new everything Babe had bought for it. Gene wasn’t going to ask how much Babe spent, he would just see when the credit card statement came.

They bickered back and forth about ornament placement and tinsel usage but in the end it came out perfectly. They laid under the tree when they finished, looking up at the twinkling lights. Gene looked over at Babe, more enthralled with the way the soft light made him glow. He reached over to cup Babe’s face gently, dragging his thumb lightly across his cheekbones. Babe’s eyes met his own, full of a sweetness he reserved just for Gene. After a little while longer under the tree, Babe yawned.

“C’mon let’s go upstairs before I end up needing to carry you.” Gene said, shimmying himself out from his position. Babe hadn’t moved but he heard a whine. “C’mon Beanie Baby, on your feet.” He said, crouching down to gently drag Babe towards him. When his face was revealed, Babe was sporting an exaggerated pout, Gene chuckled and helped the redhead sit up. They stood and after making sure everything was locked and turned off, made their way up the stairs. They slid into bed together, Babe asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. After pressing a kiss to his hair.

The next morning, Gene woke up to an empty bed. An unusual occurrence since he was more of an early riser, even on weekends. The room was still dark thanks to the blackout curtains. He reached blindly for his phone, and the screen read 8:15 am; much earlier than Babe even considered getting up every other Saturday. He pulled on the pair of flannel pants on the floor near his side of the bed and padded quietly out of the bedroom and down the stairs. He heard humming coming from the kitchen and the sound of coffee being brewed.

Babe smiled at him when he entered the kitchen, and gently pushed a steaming cup across the island counter to him. Gene took a grateful sip before he spoke.

“Good morning, cher. You’re up a little early?” He asked and Babe shrugged with a shy smile.

“I like to be up on snowy mornings to watch it.” He said, taking a small sip from his own mug. Gene did know that, thinking back to his mental catalog of ‘Babe Things’ and his love of sitting in the same sport all day to watch a snow storm being one of them.

Gene held out his hand for Babe and led him into the adjoining family room. He settled them into the deep cushions of the couch. Their ‘family tree’ was proudly lit in the corner, and that made Gene smile. Gene took a look outside, the visibility a few notches higher than a complete white-out. The snow had piled up on the deck, and the drifts had to have been almost three feet high.

“Looks like we’re snowed in.” He remarked, helping Babe spread the blanket over top of them. Babe nodded in agreement.

“Unless you wanna go out there and dig us out.” He teased, reaching for the remote to turn something mindless on. Gene made a face and shook his head.

“Nah, I have everything I need right here.” He told Babe with a wink. Babe smiled as he channel surfed, scanning the Saturday morning options.

“Do you want breakfast soon?” Babe asked, settling into Gene’s embrace. He looked up at Gene expectantly. Gene smirked, a devilish look Babe had to know the meaning of.

“I got my breakfast right here.” He quipped, and Babe swatted his chest before leaning in for a kiss… a very long kiss. Some parts of snowy days were enjoyable to Gene, this was one of them.

[damntheygotme]

once again thinking abt @digitalstowaway trophy husband miles au and systematically making my way through all the posts bc I love them all sm

taylor swift’s mastermind is such a wrightworth in trophy husband miles au song and i am going to lose my mind over it under the cut

just!!!! i dont recall exactly how and when phoenix and miles meet again in this au. but what i do remember is at some point, theyre engaged, and miles is still--wary, if thats the right word?--when it comes to his partners. he is not in love, can not afford to be in love, seems to operate under leaving before he can get left (although there have been some instances where he has been left) and when he is with phoenix, there is a period of time where he has not accepted his feelings and actually tries at some point to do the same things that have driven other boyfriends away--but phoenix doesn't get driven away. miles is tearing up the floorboards and phoenix just gets down and helps him. so its just, the first bit of the song:

Once upon a time, the planets and the fates And all the stars aligned You and I ended up in the same room At the same time

its striking, to me, because maybe miles didnt intend to run into phoenix, maybe he did, i dont exactly remember, however, when they do meet, miles doesnt waste time getting on that, on phoenix being his next boyfriend-to-fiance.

And the touch of a hand lit the fuse Of a chain reaction of countermoves To assess the equation of you Checkmate, I couldn't lose

it literally is move against move. miles doesnt expect this to last so he at least expects to get whatever he can out of this relationship. he's not losing, this is a game only franziska (and possibly his exes) know he's playing.

What if I told you none of it was accidental And the first night that you saw me, nothing was gonna stop me? I laid the groundwork and then, just like clockwork The dominoes cascaded in a line

NONE OF IT WAS ACCIDENTAL!

What if I told you I'm a mastermind? And now you're mine It was all by design 'Cause I'm a mastermind

Miles thinking back, when he's starting to realize he may have actual Feelings™ after Phoenix finds him and comforts him through a breakdown instead of writing him off as hysterical and overly emotional like past boyfriends have, that hey, this might mean something to Miles, but would knowing it wasn't ever meant to, change phoenix's mind?

'Cause we were born to be the pawn In every lover's game

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail Strategy sets the scene for the tale I'm the wind in our free-flowing sails And the liquor in our cocktails

AND. AND THE JUSTIFICATION TO HIMSELF, THE PAST EXPERIENCES BLEEDING INTO FUTURE ONES, AFFECTING HIM IN THE PRESENT.

No one wanted to play with me as a little kid So I've been scheming like a criminal ever since To make them love me and make it seem effortless This this the first time I've felt the need to confess And I swear I'm only cryptic and Machiavellian 'cause I care

OKAY but, back to past experiences affecting how he acts and handles relationships later, but also. No one wanting to play with him as a little kid, except, Phoenix and Larry always did. Bringing all that back, Miles struggling with the realization that he wants this to last, wants to actually marry Phoenix maybe, feels like he might owe Phoenix the truth.

So I told you none of it was accidental And the first night that you saw me, nothing was gonna stop me I laid the groundwork and then saw a wide smirk On your face, you knew the entire time

AND DOES HE?? DOES HE COME CLEAN??? DOES PHOENIX SMILE??? DID HE KNOW THE ENTIRE TIME???

You knew that I'm a mastermind And now you're mine Yeah, all you did was smile 'Cause I'm a mastermind

literally so obsessed with this au, y'all dont even know

[alyssalikestoreadbooks]

Sweeten The Deal - Katie Shepard

"MBA student Caroline Sedlacek knows her personal balance sheet is a little lopsided. On the asset side, at twenty-two she’s got an NCAA trophy, a great education...and the two million dollars she unexpectedly inherited. Liabilities? She's never had friends, a boyfriend, or any life experiences away from the tennis court or the classroom. She'd love to invest herself in everything else, but "everything else" never came easily for her.

In the ten years since he left art school as a vaunted prodigy, Adrian Landry has won shows and major prizes—and done his best to shed his reputation as a pretty man who makes pretty paintings. Though currently broke and sleeping off a bad break-up on his college roommate’s couch, he knows this is the chance to get his life back on track at thirty-three—he just needs the money to find a new gallery. 

When Adrian’s roommate lists him on a thinly veiled escort site, Caroline is not the patron he expected. She’s way too young, way too naive, and loudly uninterested in having sex with him. Instead, they’re both going to get exactly what they want: a little culture on her side, and a lot of cash on his. Aside from their sugar baby arrangement, they’ve got nothing in common. But as they reel from the symphony to the Haymarket, they learn that what they want and what they need might be two very different things."

Read Date - July 2024

Length - 384 pages

Genre - Romance, Chick Lit, New Adult

Rating - 8/10

Stars - ★★★★☆

Notes - The concept of Adrien becoming a sugar baby is SO INTERESTING because you usually only hear about it from the women's perspective. Swapping the gender roles here is beautifully done and I adore it. Obviously I haven’t gotten too far in the book yet, but I feel like Caroline is so Autistic Coded like that girl is ME. I don’t care if it’s not canon, this is an autistic girlie pop. I think Tom and Adrien’s friendship is cute, and the way they look out for each other is nice. I love how Caroline is clueless, and honestly is just really good autistic representation in my (autistic) opinion. Like, the sushi scene specifically was such a cute example of autism that doesn’t include meltdowns, and I loved how they talked about all the different colors and textures of the sushi were described, and the way she’s physically unable to finish the sushi. I like that Adrien keeps trying to get Caroline to go out and interact more in the world with people that aren’t just him and Tom. Caroline and Adrien together are such a cute and hot duo, i genuinely can’t get enough of them. The hatred that her family brings is an interesting dynamic, because not a lot of people talk about the resentment and ableist thrown around so carelessly. The spice in this book is so well played out and I’ve never liked it more. And in chapter 12, Tom mentions that he believes that Caroline is neurodivergent. GIRL ME TOO!!! I THINK THAT SHIT TOO!! THATS MY AUTISTIC QUEEN!! and my LORD was the representation FANTASTIC!! Sometimes, the best part of coding a character as autistic instead of writing them as autistic is that you arent confined to certail social pressures that are expected when writing an autistic character. You’re able to write them more realistic as a result of coding them, and i think its perfect here. Adrien’s friends being piece of shit assholes actually makes sense when you consider the fact that Adrien himself used to be a snob. They’re also upset over the break up, which doesn’t justify anything but makes it make sense. Their first kiss was so passionate and it make my stomach do little flips like hello!!! The declaration of love was also so sweet. He supports her during the ‘othering’ of the people which was a realistic thing to talk about. Again, the spice and smut in this book is so well done, and i loved every moment. It was so sensual and sweet and delicious. I think it’s even better knowing Caroline is meant to be a neurodivergent person, because it shows that even we can have sex lives and be active. The drama that happens in this book is also so good, and as someone who just enjoys drama, it was also perfect. The conversation with Caroline’s family was tense as fuck and hard to listen to when they’re sitting there verbally harassing her for her money. Adrien trying to sell his portraits as a struggling artist is interesting to hear, with Adriens love of Caroline being intertwined with it. The “big bad” of Adrien viewing their relationship as a bad thing was another realistic plot point, and i generally adore their relationship. The choice of moving in together is very sweet and it’s amazing. They deserve each other and it’s been awhile since I’ve felt this way about a book. I think it was perfect and i recommend it to everyone, and i think it’s perfect representation without even outwardly saying it. This was a really really good book. 

[rainbowgod666]

The perfect DC/Marvel comic is like this

Its a batman book, the joker is killed off in the first panel and that has no meaning or repercussions over the timeline

The watchmen are a thing and Dr. Manhattan figured out a way to get rid of the whole "every moment is the present" thing. This makes it easier for the writer to write its dialogues. He is still earth-shatteringly autistic and everyone loves him for this

Also he and deadpool accidentally bond over "seeing the 4th wall". Deadpool is also buddies with moon knight. Guess what my favourite charachter is?

Good ol IRL me is there and its canon that the one time when i tried to help constantine every demon/spirit/whatever that has a stake on him was SCREAMING to him "get tf away from him not even death's gonna save you". Which i mean, rude

Welcome to the multiverse. Batman has small dick energy and superman is such a pacifist some people have trouble seeing him as anything other than "alien übermensch thats just a really nice guy and thats eat". He may be white bread but here in italy we say "buono come il pane" or "good as bread" so yeah hes a Certified Good Boy

I cannot stress enough how much unimportant is the death of the joker. He basically might as well have never existed.

Wonder Woman comes to the realization (after i confronted her about it because FFS WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE MULTIVERSE'S BABYSITTER) that MAYBE reducing her entire power assortment to "r/TwoXChromosomes" is a bad thing both for boys AND girls alike. I know the song goes "forget your balls and grow a pair of tits" but i would instead put programs so that boys feel safe about their masculinity and girls wont have to worry about Bad People In Dimly Lit Alleys.

SCP and MONUMENTMYTHOS are referenced really tangentially. Only the wikis (official or not) aknowlegde this fully

There are at least three scenes where tony stark reads about elongated muskrat on the news. In all of them hes disappointed

He also references him appearing on big bang theory, which in THIS universe is ran by the charachters of the series as a fun class B science program that has way more audience than it should have. Sheldon met Dr. Manhattan, who described our multi-knocking boy as just like him but "less knowledgeable and more arrogant" (no fr shelly is one /gamemode 1 from becoming dr. pasadiña or whatever)

Considering this is "DC and Marvel, but Alex did his bullshit", expect dumb shit

I am introduced with a MadCom reference that is also a Courage the cowardly dog reference. KeK

The Owlman is revealed to have had a massive brain tumor that straight up removed his ability to think rationally while making him speak like his cigars are made of dictionaries

So many events from so many storylines happen all at once lol

Spidey disapproves of O'Hara. Like everyone else.

Multiple references are everywhere

There is SERIOUS PROOF that thanos accidentally something important when he was testing the infinity gauntlet, whoops!

Gamora tries to kill me after i try to roast her for how she is. She is shocked to find out that me getting Kakyoin'd did nothing but "ow"

@moringmark is referenced in a 4 panel scene in the toh universe

A cover story reveals that, on the moon, a portal opens. The portal is traversed by a shiny deoxys and many little among us crewmates. The impostors are all black (literally) (if you see racism in this, fuck you not everyone is an american cop) (on that note, watch southland) and act as guards for the group. Deoxys is in its base form

The valve universe is a thing so welcome BLU, RED, aperture and black mesa!

[ittybxttykxttytxtty]

everytime i read your updates, the first thing that always comes out of my mouth is "omg" in all emotions...happy, sad, extra sad, extra angsty sad 🥹

“Sorry.” He hums, uncurling his body from around you and lying back.

this is a crime, how dare you uncurl away 😮

The very thought of leaving his bed created a physical ache inside of you. You wanted this, you wanted him, and you wanted so much more than he was probably willing to even give.

im begging you...please talk it out. please talk everything out 😭

It had taken every ounce of control in Billy’s body, every shred, every atom of it, not to reach across and pull you back into his arms.

all im saying is take that control and shove it up the stalker's ass 😌✨ we dont need that around here 😌✨

What label would you even put on that?

generally? idiots to lovers. specifically? strangers to mates to trauma buddies to pervy!neighbors with a hint of emotion to friends to boss x employee to ex!hook up to trauma buddies again to currently roommate to whatever chelsea decides next honestly 😂 and we love that for us 💖

Billy was forever haunted by a day you would know him, really know him, and not turn away, or leave.

omg, i havent even thought of the reader finding out about the panther business stuff 😌🔫

That he didn’t like you like that, that he was just letting you stay here because he was nice. This was nothing more than pity, and held no meaning beyond friendship.

we should put i tape over the mouth of your conscience. we dont need that kind of negativity in our life 😌🔪

“I can’t remember a single thing about myself.” You whisper to him in horror.

this is me during the first days of being in college, i hated that introduce yourself stage 🥹🔫 idk who i am, please dont ask 🥹🔫

He wants to know me, you think affectionately.

THIS IS THE KIND OF THINKING WE NEED. STAY IN THIS KIND OF HEAD SET, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. 💕

"Good girl.”

everytime, everytime billy says this an angel gets its wings. fly high, lil cherub. 😌✨

You swallow.

resolve that issue fast enough and you'll be swallowing his big load instead. 😌✨

“It’s my favourite place for a nap. I think you’ll like it.”

all i can imagine is his panther napping while his tail wagging in relaxed form

We can, he’d responded, but you don’t need a suit. Wear whatever you’re comfortable with.

congratulations, you played yourself. in an instant i already knew what baby girl was going to do 😂😂😂

okay, im not gonna put every line i liked in this part because it will just be the whole part of her describing the pool and thats like a portion of this chapter. it must feel so nice and relaxing tho like imagine swimming in a dimly lit pool with rain falling and the fucking forest sound?!?!?!?!? im immature so id play in the pool like i was in the movie waterworld or recreate that scene in the latest Jurassic park movie, the one where bryce dallas howard was slowly swimming her way to safety. all in all, it feels fun having that kind of pool and now i want one. so thanks for that 🥹✨

Billy’s losing control. Fast.

lose it fasterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

The panther had rejected this argument. The panther was currently trying to urge Billy into removing his clothes and joining you.

GO GO PANTHER GO!

Was this the right idea? Should he give you more space?

how much more space does she neeeeeddddd?!?! at this point she'll be even farther away than pluto 😭😭😭😭

“Well, I spent most of my time in the woods. I’d break into abandoned cabins and stay until peak season. I’d read whatever books I could find, and explore the forest to pass the time.”

....

"I’m not sure.” You whisper softly, worried about his reaction.

this is valid, take your time baby girl 😭😭 dont listen to me, im like an irrational thought you always ignore. 😭😭😭

“Don’t feel sorry for telling me how you feel. I’d rather you stop me now, than regret it, or feel bad about yourself later.”

I SEE YOU, MS. CHELSEA. I SEE YOU.

THERE'S NOTHING MORE SEXY THAN A MAN WHO RESPECTS YOUR BOUNDARIES. 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

honestly, the pool stole the spotlight, ik you already described it in the chapter before but like..in action? beautiful 💕

im kidding, the emotions, the yearning, the little tidbits about billy 🥹

Teeth

Part 18

Werepanther!Billy Russo x Female reader

Masterlist

Warnings: Conversations about stalking and being afraid, some sexual frustration.

You woke up in his arms. A deep sigh when you realise your face is buried in his chest, his scent wrapped as tightly around you as his body was.

Your leg is kicked over his hip, your nightgown rucked up but you barely care, not when his soft breaths are tickling your ear like that.

You can’t help it, your hand rubbing his back, appreciating the feel of his skin.

He lets out a soft sigh, waking slightly the more you begin to shift beside him.

“Sorry.” He hums, uncurling his body from around you and lying back. You withdraw your leg, sighing and stretching your arms upward, back arching naturally to help you wake up.

You yawn, groaning a little as you rub your eyes. 

You feel good. Really good. You’re well rested and you feel so calm, turning on your side to look at him shyly. He blinks slowly at you, fighting sleep.

“Hey.” You say on a raspy breath, closing your eyes for a moment as they sting a little in protest at being open.

“Morning.” He replies, his voice is deep and rough and sends tingles of delight over your skin. Fucking hell, his voice in the morning was divine. You wanted to hear him speak more.

“Hope I wasn’t too much trouble.” You mumble, eyes still closed.

He makes a small hum.

“No, you-” He breathes out a small sigh, “You were perfect.”

God, you wanted to record his voice and save it for later. You could feel your body slowly getting aroused, you peek an eye open to glance at him, observing his shirtless form.

Is this what waking up with him would have been like? Close, perhaps, but if you had woken up with him that morning after you’d had sex, you wouldn’t have been able to stop touching him. 

Unlike now, where you were only close enough to feel the residual heat of his skin.

Wow, this was a really confusing situation. 

You definitely shouldn’t stay, despite how badly you wanted to. He was a friend right now, and nothing more.

The very thought of leaving his bed created a physical ache inside of you. You wanted this, you wanted him, and you wanted so much more than he was probably willing to even give.

Your throat closes up, you feel tears pool in your eyes. You blink fast to get rid of them.

Sitting up, you avoid looking at him and you scoot your way to the edge of the bed.

“See you at breakfast.” You murmur lightly, walking out of his room and back to yours.

.

It had taken every ounce of control in Billy’s body, every shred, every atom of it, not to reach across and pull you back into his arms. 

He’d even held his breath at one point, your scent so thick in the air, soaked into his sheets and lingering on his very skin, another gulp of your strawberry scent would decimate his self control. 

He wasn’t sure what words could be used to define a relationship like yours. His employee that he’d slept with once before he fucked up and you ended things with him, in his bed, because you were too scared to sleep alone after he’d brought you to his home to protect you from someone following you.

What label would you even put on that?

Luck, Billy thinks, because it gave him a second chance, one he would not destroy again by coming on too fast or leaving you alone. Something sours in his stomach at the idea of him considering this situation lucky, there was still someone out there after you, not that they would ever get another chance to be near or hurt you again. He would make sure of it.

The panther inside of him had been silent, placated by a night beside you, hums of serenity in his head, which had only stopped the moment you’d gotten up and left the room. 

Billy was forever haunted by a day you would know him, really know him, and not turn away, or leave. He was tormented by thoughts of you, by the ways you could bring him to his knees if you so wanted.

He’d do anything for you.

The concept of it didn’t even frighten him.

.

Billy makes a little sound to get your attention, and you turn to him with the kettle in hand.

“The kettle has a short somewhere and doesn’t turn on unless it’s in the right position, here-” He extends his hands out to you and you curiously place the kettle, halfway filled with water, into his hands.

You watch him angle the kettle slightly before slipping into the base and clicking it on. The little light in the on switch turns red for a second before blinking off. 

You’re mildly amused as you watch him swear under his breath, flipping the switch off, before turning it back on again. This time, it stays on and begins heating the water for your tea.

You give him a little smile of thanks when he turns to face you, not even bothering to ask him why he doesn’t just get a new one, before he’s explaining it to you.

“It was a housewarming gift from my friend.”

You nod in understanding.

“It’s probably not that hard to fix. I can take a look at it while I’m here… If you’d like.” You offer, already thinking about the tools you’d need to strip the wires.

He nods, tilting his head a little, looking at you with a depth in his gaze that makes your stomach feel like it’s twisting.

“Thank you.” Billy says, taking a step forward.

He takes another step and you swallow, hands curling into fists.

Was he going to kiss you?

You have to tilt your head higher the closer he got.

You jerk in surprise when the kettle clicks off behind you and he’s reaching for it.

Right…

You press your teeth together as a flood of negative emotions flood your mind. That he didn’t like you like that, that he was just letting you stay here because he was nice. This was nothing more than pity, and held no meaning beyond friendship.

It almost chokes you, the pain in your chest is searingly sharp.

You blink, pretending everything is alright, turning to watch him pour steaming water into two mugs.

“Sugar?” He asks, after placing a tea bag into each cup and letting it sit for a while.

You tell him how much, and you watch him prepare your tea how you like it, looking up at him, desperate to see more of this side of him, yearning to touch him.

You find yourself looking out of his windows, looking at your own apartment in the distance.

You can’t see much since the curtains are drawn, but you imagine what he could have seen when they were open.

It makes you a little uncomfortable now, that you know he wasn’t the only person watching you. That there was someone else peering into your life, enjoying your suffering. Why else would they have photographed the robbery instead of helping you? 

“Can I ask you something?” You ask softly, deep in thought, still staring at your shut curtains.

“Anything.” He replies.

“You’ve seen the photos. What do you think he- the stalker I mean- what do you think they think of me?”

He looks up at you for a moment, and doesn’t say anything until you glance at him curiously.

“I’m not equipped enough to give an analysis-”

You smile.

“Fair enough. But I just want to know what you think.”

He inclines his head, sliding your mug of tea over to you.

“Dinah said yesterday, that they might want you to feel scared, maybe they enjoy that.”

“Yeah but, don’t I look scared enough?” You say with a laugh.

“Maybe not.” He answers softly.

You smile sadly, shaking your head.

“So this person thinks I’m weak? Or… vulnerable?”

“If that’s what they think then they’re wrong.”

“Are they?” You mumble beneath your breath, looking down into your tea.

He tilts his head down, to find his way into your line of sight. You smile when you notice the odd way he bends to get your attention.

“Yes. And it doesn’t matter what this person thinks of you.” He follows easily.

“They’ve been watching me for a while, seeing way more intimate moments than I probably even know. What if this person knows me better than anyone?” 

Your heart squeezes in your chest, paranoia filling you, the idea that you really were just weak and scared becoming your most defining attributes.

“Then tell me something.” Billy says decisively.

You look up at him warily.

“What?”

“Tell me something you’ve never told anyone.” 

The corner of your mouth twitches up in amusement. You try your hardest to come up with something and fail. 

“I can’t remember a single thing about myself.” You whisper to him in horror.

He smiles, and then you watch his nose scrunch as he breaks into a grin. Adorable and boyish, you feel your stomach squeeze in delight.

“Okay okay,” You say, trying to come up with something that you’re sure you’ve never told anyone, “Oh here’s one- watching videos of people painting calms me down sometimes- Oh no, my therapist knows that. Shit.”

You think again for a long moment.

“My favourite painter is Vincent Van Gogh?” You offer instead.

Billy inclines his head in acceptance.

“Why?”

You blink.

“I like the way he doesn’t blend his brushstrokes, that you can see each one and see the separation of the colour, and still have a really amazing painting.”

He smiles at you, his eyes hold a depth that you adore.

“Tell me something else.” He says.

He wants to know me, you think affectionately.

“I think scars are beautiful,” You murmur, “They show where you’ve been and what you’ve lived through, and in a way, they’re no different than brushstrokes.”

“I have a lot of scars.”

“I know.”

I’ve seen you naked, you want to remind him.

The moment feels charged, soft electricity humming in the air, a call between your bodies.

“Well now I know things about you that no one else knows, and when I say that you’re smart and very brave, you have to believe me right?”

“Don’t guess,” He says, hand cupping your face, “believe me.”

“I guess.”

“I believe you.” You echo.

The corner of his mouth lifts into a smile.

“Good girl.”

You swallow.

Suddenly he blinks, tilting his head as if he’s just thought of something and smiles.

“I just remembered, I didn’t show you the whole house yet.”

He doesn’t say anything further, simply taking your hand in his, turning around to lead you in the direction of his bedroom.

Your heart pounds in your chest, ambling behind him with your mug of steaming tea still in hand, you try your best not to spill as you walk.

“It’s my favourite place for a nap. I think you’ll like it.” He says, and you study the back of his head, desperate to memorize everything about him.

When you’re back in the green walls of his bedroom, he releases your hand and approaches a wooden door you had assumed was a closet.

He tugs the door open, and you look at him curiously as he stands beside the door. He inclines his head for you to go in.

It’s a little dark, but you can see the little room immediately leads into a stairway, and your heart beats a little fast as you step in.

The space is enclosed, and the next thing you know Billy is right behind you, his voice in your ear.

“Don’t be scared,” he soothes, “Go up.”

“I’m not scared.” You grumble, gripping the handrail to step carefully to the top where you can see another door at the top of the stairs.

At the top, you don’t hesitate to turn the doorknob, pushing the door open swiftly.

The light hits you all at once and you squint, frowning in discomfort as your eyes try to adjust.

When your vision finally clears, your mouth drops open.

It’s a sunroom.

Sitting in the centre of his rooftop, is a room in the shape of a glass hexagon, large, soft, dark blue couches along each edge, filled with an array of potted plants and throw pillows. 

In the middle of the room, is a large stone table, with short legs.

The sun streams through the glass, lighting up the room effortlessly, an immaculate display of design.

“Billy.” Is all you can find the words to say.

He chuckles behind you, moving to sit on the couch.

“It came with the house. It was the main reason I bought it. Fixed it up in my first summer here and I’m glad I did.”

You nod in agreement, still looking around in wonder.

After a moment, you sit as well, the couch embracing your body easily.

You smile, tuck your legs under you and bring your cup of tea up to your lips for a sip.

It’s lovely, it’s cozy, you watch the sun shine into his hair.

He looks at you, and you feel like cold butter melting on warm toast.

Your grip on your cup tightens.

.

He’s dangerous.

He’s the most dangerous person in the world.

He’s dangerous because he cares, because he’s kind to you, because he’s patient and calm and is too willing to accommodate your needs.

He’s dangerous because he’s so far away, because he won’t kiss you and he won’t touch you and you have to stand here and pretend like you haven’t seen him naked and you don’t know what his mouth tastes like and pretending is going to kill you much faster than any stalker is.

You stand outside of his home gym, listening to him grunt as he took swings at a punching bag. You’d stepped in a few moments before to ask about swimming in his pool.

He’d been shirtless, covered in a sheen of his own sweat, a single strand of his hair sticking to his forehead.

Hey, I don’t have a swimsuit but I really wanna go in your pool. Can we take a quick trip back to my place?

We can, he’d responded, but you don’t need a suit. Wear whatever you’re comfortable with.

Any then you’d nodded, and left like an idiot because you couldn’t very well form new thoughts with him looking like that, right?

Fuck you, Billy Russo, you think, titling your head back to take a breath, fuck you and your hot fucking body and your stupidly handsome face.

You close your eyes, remembering the way he looked, lean and muscular, his hair moving with each powerful swing of his arm.

You gasp, arousal sticky between the lips of your cunt, soaking into the fabric of your underwear.

He’d said to wear what you felt was comfortable, and a devious thought fills your head. That maybe you’d be comfortable wearing nothing at all.

It feels easy enough to do. Step into his lovely pool room, take a deep breath in, and out, pulling your shirt off, and dropping your shorts unceremoniously onto the floor. You reach for it, folding it neatly and placing it onto the wooden bench on the far wall of the room.

There's a small shelf on the wall nearby with white rolled towels, maybe about five or six, and you consider them carefully as you approach the pool.

Your plan is foolproof, turn on the overhead rain feature, tug your underwear off and get into the pool as fast as possible. 

There's a panel on the wall near the entrance of the room, but there's also another waterproof control panel on the floor beside the pool for ease of access.

You smile absentmindedly, admiring the foresight that went into the pool design, wondering how much of a hand the man constantly on your mind had in the planning of it all.

You second guess yourself at the water’s edge. Were you really going to do this? 

Yes, you decide, sitting beside the pool so you could adjust the settings easily. 

The first thing you do is dim the lights, bringing it down to a much lower setting, and then turn on the small lights above your head that looked like stars. 

When it was satisfactory, you eagerly tap the tiny rain symbol on the panel, and select the lowest intensity.

To your amazement, it starts of like soft drizzle, and you pause to take in the ambience of it.

Some parts of the pool’s edge are lined with plants and large rock shapes to give the place a very natural effect. It’s got a kidney shape, or maybe something more irregular, that helps play into the nature theme you assume Billy was going for. 

After a moment, you increase the rain intensity, feeling it soak into your hair and over your shoulders. The droplets hit the leaves of the surrounding plants, creating a symphony of relaxing sounds.

It excites you now, to swim naked here, you tug your undergarments off so much more easily in the low light, curious to feel what it’s like to swim in a marvel like this.

You place your wet underthings near the pool’s edge, but far enough to keep it out of the rain, and you slip into the pool with a deep breath.

The water is warm, not too warm, but enough that you don’t shiver when you climb in. The rain falls around you, droplets disturbing the water, leaving transient ripples only there to be replaced by more raindrops.

It’s magical, the way this space makes you feel. You take a breath and dip your head below the surface of the water, feeling your hair float around you.

You come back up for air, taking your time to move around the pool. You’ve never swam naked before, but in the low light, it’s not as scary as you thought it would be.

You paddle around for a little, and after a while, you find your way back to the nearby control panel to explore other features.

You discover there’s an option to light up the interior of the pool, and another feature that plays ambient forest sounds. You find that you don’t like that as much, because it reminds you of past experiences you’d rather forget.

You find a comfortable spot on the edge of the pool, folding your hands under your head to rest your cheek comfortably, half floating in the gentle artificial rain.

You’re incredibly relaxed when you feel the rain intensity soften on your back. Peeking an eye open, you raise your head with a smile when you catch sight of Billy at the door.

“Sorry, didn’t want to disturb you.” He murmurs, approaching calmly. He’s still dressed the way he was before, shirtless, with a pair of dark grey sweatpants on his lower half.

“That’s alright.” You gulp, eyes trailing down his form shamelessly, too caught up in the way he looks to worry about him looking at you.

When he’s halfway to you, he stops suddenly. You raise an eyebrow at the small shocked expression on his face. You tilt your head curiously when you see his fists clench tightly.

“Are you naked?” He asks in a calm voice, his overall demeanour clearly displaying that he was not calm.

“Yes.” You say slowly.

You watch his jaw tighten, you swear you’ll hear his teeth crack with the amount of pressure he puts on them.

“You said to wear what’s comfortable.” You defend yourself, pushing away from the wall of the pool to float on your back peacefully, no doubt giving him a subtle glimpse of your nude body in the low light. You can’t discern the exact expression written on his face.

“You can join me if you’d like.” You offer.

You watch him debate with himself, unsure of what exactly is going on in his head, but you try to give him the space to decide, turning away from him to glide to the other end of the pool, holding your breath as the water moves all around you.

.

Billy’s losing control. Fast.

The panther has locked him into place, refusing to allow him to move away from you, after he’d decided he was going to allow you your privacy and gently turn down your offer of a swim.

Of course he wanted nothing more than to shed his clothes and join you, but he didn’t want to intrude.

The panther had rejected this argument. The panther was currently trying to urge Billy into removing his clothes and joining you.

It’s a war within himself, fighting with the deeper, darker base urges inside of him, rational thought being pulled from his mind as the beast demands he go to you.

He watches you push away from the wall, your head dipping under the surface as your ass raises into the air for a small moment. Graceful in your movement. 

Even with his ability to see in the low light, the small ripples of the water caused by the small raindrops obscure his view of your body.

Naked, he reminds himself.

The beast inserts imagery of your naked bodies against each other in the water, his arms caging you in while he sinks his cock into you.

He exhales, reaching down to push his pants down the length of his legs.

When he has his boxers off, and he’s just as naked as you are, he hesitates again.

Was this the right idea? Should he give you more space?

He turns away from the pool’s edge.

The panther, having enough of his internal battle, takes sudden control of his legs, one small push, and he tumbles into the water against better thought.

.

You take a breath when you reach the other end, only distracted by the sound of something large crashing into the water behind you. 

You turn suddenly in surprise, watching as Billy breaks the surface of the water, shaking his head and pushing his now wet hair back to pin you with his dark gaze.

You glance down shyly, unable to see anything more than dark shapes in the water, nothing that can tell you the state of his undress.

“So, h- how did you come up with the design for this place?” You ask, lowering your body into the water until only your head is above the surface, the water licking at your neck and chin, soft droplets just barely pattering onto your head.

He stays a small distance away, a wet strand of hair falling in front of his face as he begins speaking. You try not to get distracted by the way he looks.

“Remember when I told you I ran away from that group home when I was fifteen?”

You incline your head in affirmation.

“Well, I spent most of my time in the woods. I’d break into abandoned cabins and stay until peak season. I’d read whatever books I could find, and explore the forest to pass the time.”

You blink, your throat closing up at the lonely existence he was painting for you.

“I thought I hated it. When I came back to civilization, I didn’t think I would want reminders of it, but after all of that, I realised, that was the very first place I heard myself think.”

He looks up, and you keep your eyes on him.

“In the dark, under the trees, looking up at the stars.”

He looks back at you, and you can see the faint shine of the lights in his eyes.

“That was the first place I learned who I really was.”

You smile softly at him, inching closer.

“That’s amazing, Billy.” You hum.

He moves closer too, unable to be too far from you, or so you hope quietly.

“I know you’re afraid of the forest, of the reminder.”

You swallow, nodding, looking down at the ripples he creates as he moves.

“It makes me feel like I have no control, anything could happen and I have no power to stop it.”

It’s easier with you around, you want to say to him.

Like he did before, he inserts himself into your line of sight, pulling a smile onto your face at his antics.

“You have to know by now that you’re not powerless.”

You open your mouth to protest.

He cups your cheeks, bringing you close to his body, until you swear he’s touching you all over.

“Don’t argue.” He says in a stern tone that makes you gulp, looking up at him demurely, feeling yourself get comfortably small under his gaze.

“You’re resilient, you’ve been through so much and you’re still so strong.”

“But this is breaking me.” You confess, voice cracking as tears rise to the surface, having never admitted it out loud, not even to your therapist.

He looks pained for a moment, eyebrows drawing together, a tilt of his head before he’s dipping to take you into his arms.

A few tears fall, your breathing shallow as you cry for a moment, emotions overwhelming you, stealing your ability to breathe.

His large palm moves over your bare back, soothing you, his cheek is cool where it presses against yours.

You sniffle after a moment, getting control of your emotions, clinging to him in the water, unwilling to let him go.

He says your name softly, reverently, capturing your attention.

“You’re not broken yet, sweetheart, and I promise I’ll keep you safe. No one is going to touch a hair on your head, and no one is ever going to get the chance to hurt you.”

“That’s not your job, Billy. You don’t have to.” You protest.

His hands rise to cup your face, drawing back a little so that he can look at you, nose to nose.

“I want to. I want you to feel safe, and protected and relaxed because you deserve to be.”

You make a small sound, and before you can stop yourself, you rise onto your toes to kiss him.

His reaction is instantaneous, gripping the back of your head to press his mouth firmly to yours, a low groan in his throat, something dark and desperate.

You reach for him, wrapping your arms around his bare shoulders, pulling him close until your bodies are pressed to each other.

His hands grip your thighs, encouraging you to wrap your legs around his hips, the water sloshing as you move so eagerly.

You gasp against his mouth as you feel the largeness of his erection press against your thigh.

He grips your jaw tightly, placing punishing kisses onto your mouth, no doubt bruising your lips with the fervour.

His desire is matched with your own, your fingers scraping against his skin, wandering over the scars on his shoulder, smoothing over his wet hair.

“Are you sure?” He pants against your mouth, groaning when he feels your lips kiss the spot right below his ear.

He says your name on a groan, tilting his head back when your teeth scrape the base of his neck.

“Sweetheart,” He tries again, “You need to tell me.”

You pause suddenly, gasping as you come back to your senses. In truth, you weren’t sure about this, past experience telling you that doing this with him was probably a bad idea.

You give him a shy look, his breathing harsh as he looks into your eyes.

“I’m not sure.” You whisper softly, worried about his reaction.

Like he can sense your worry, he nods, withdrawing from your grip.

“That’s alright. It’s okay to be unsure.” He says, turning away for a moment, cupping a handful of water to pour onto his head.

Yet guilt fills you, past experience trying to pressure you into thinking that you’ve done something wrong.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper.

He turns back, concern in his gaze as he drops himself to eye level with you.

“Don’t feel sorry for telling me how you feel. I’d rather you stop me now, than regret it, or feel bad about yourself later.”

You think about mentioning your fear of him leaving again, after he’s done that so many times before, but you decide against it, because it would do no good at this point to say.

“I like you, I really do,” You whisper, “but I worry I’m using you to distract myself from the way I feel. That’s not fair to you.” 

He looks down, a somber expression on his face that makes your heart crack.

“I get it. Trust me, I do, I’m here for you, anything you want.”

You reach out to take his hand, bringing it up to your face so that you can kiss the back of his knuckles.

“Maybe we can take it slow? Until I can get my brain around things?”

He gives you a little smile, nodding acceptingly at the notion.

“Slow is good.” He says, leaning forward to kiss the top of your head.

You smile happily, looking up at him, feeling something different in your chest, a fondness, an appreciation, like nothing you’ve ever felt before. You may be naked, but you’re not remotely concerned about him violating the boundaries of your consent.

You toss your arms around him, holding him close , feeling him return the embrace.

After a few moments, you lean back, smiling up at him.

“Exactly how hard can this artificial rain fall?” You ask playfully.

He takes on an amused expression at the idea.

.

.

.

[hexcryingwolf]

im not spending my days in a depressive suicidal fog like i did for the first couple of years after the 2018 fallout. im not constantly thinking about and remembering and questioning and doubting everything that happened anymore. i have healed a lot. i am so much better than i was

but finding out that [information i hope to god comes to light sooner rather than later] lit this fire in me. im not scared anymore, im fucking angry. angry about the lies. angry about how they treat people. angry that nothing ever got any fucking better. angry that im a joke to them because i had the audacity to Not Handle the Trauma of Finding Out Someone I Trusted and Considered a Friend was a Dogfucker with perfect poise and tact.

we never talked about that. i dont remember ever talking about that in the server. i talked about it with glip privately but not in a way to process my pain, i was trying to support them and pushed my trauma aside for them. i know when i first saw those videos i talked about it in the server but i dont think, once the truth about marl came out, that i ever really took the time to talk about it in relation to that. i was too concerned with supporting glip

and its not their fault i did that obviously, that was my own actions and i own that much. im not blaming them for anything here. i just want it to be understood that i had this trauma and never took the time to process it and maybe thats why i lashed out so much. maybe thats why everything hurt me so deeply. maybe thats why i was so fucking scared all the time.

thats understandable, right? like. we never talked about the animal abuse but i should have. i should have brought it up in therapy way sooner than i did, and even when i did it wasnt a focus, it was just a footnote to the rest of it. i dont remember anyone else being as bothered by it as i was. so we didnt talk about it. i used self harm to train myself out of thinking about it instead of talking about it. one time in the box i tried to talk about it but glip shut us down because “(they) hadnt taken the time to process it yet”. i know we couldve gone to dms, i know that logically. can it be understood that logic sometimes gets overwritten by emotion? or is that just a personal defect, i should have known better. in the face of this horrid, monstrous thing, i should have known how to handle it logically

i remember glip being, kinda. like it was this eureka moment for them when they understood that the reason the zoo shit upset me so much was because i saw it as animal abuse. i hate to phrase it like that - “i saw it as” - because it fucking *is* abuse. knowing some of the shit i know now it makes sense they reacted that way, i guess? but it sucks cuz there were dozens of active people in that server, a lot of whom were my *friends*, but i just had to stew in this pain and never let it LEAK. we talked so much about how my bad feelings leaked out onto others. and that was bad. it was bad that i couldnt hide my pain? im not sure. i wish i understood. i wish i could see the logs. id fucking settle for talking to someone with access to the logs who i could trust was being honest with me, even without directly giving me any logs at all. but no one like that exists, i dont think

i know glip didnt think my pain was real. january 2019, i was feeling so hurt and mistreated by them but i REFUSED to believe they were just being a bitch to me. so i make up this motivation where theyve been hurting me because they want me to retaliate somehow. i ask axi about it and they dont try to stop me, they tell me to write my callout. so i did, and then i was the villain. i was a joke. how dare i “put on a brave face” during the scene with them, after how badly i had hurt them with a wimpy callout i never shared and they never read. im sure it *DID* hurt you glip. but what about the pain i was feeling in the first place? i did that because i was being hurt by you, but i wanted to believe youd only ever do that to me for some good reason. maybe to teach me something? to teach the rest of the server something? can you understand that that didnt come from a place of anger or wanting to hurt you, it came from the pain *i* was feeling but was trying to deny, because i didnt want to believe youd hurt me.

its ok that you didnt/dont like me glip. im over it. but i cared so much about you i refused to believe you might just not like me. when i thought, maybe they want me to retaliate? maybe this is some plot? it fucked me up so badly. so i went to axi and they didnt try, just said “well youd just take my trying as part of the scheme” and maybe i would have but we’ll never know because *they didnt even try*. so it was easier to believe that you were hurting me for some greater purpose than it was to believe we just werent compatible as people

i dont know. this turned into more of a vent than i meant it to. theres so much i cant process properly because i cant read minds and i dont have the logs and ill just carry this pain forever. at least its smaller than it was