#thats me waking up from it- every fucking time
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RockstarBf!Matt Headcannons
pairing: rockstarbf!matt x f!reader
genre: fluff, a pinch of angst, smut under the cut
a/n: this is my first time writing AND writing smth suggestive so give me feedback please!! be nice ofc ><
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SFW
♡ rockstar!matt who always goes to a park to practice his acoustic guitar
♡rockstar!matt who sees you crying on a nearby bench one day
♡rockstar!matt who sits next to you and asks you if you’re okay
♡rockstar!matt who decides to gently sing and play his guitar for you when you start crying harder at his question
♡rockstar!matt who sings for you until you calm down and start slowly swaying to his soft voice
♡rockstar!matt who feels his heart skip a beat when he sees you smile for the first time
♡rockstar!matt who listens to you rant and holds eye contact with you while you tell him why you were crying
♡rockstar!matt who plays his guitar for you until you’re ready to go home… with his number in your phone
♡rockstarbf!matt who now plays guitar for you whenever you want
♡rockstarbf!matt who always plays his new songs for you before anyone else can hear it
♡rockstarbf!matt who gets you all his merch from every stop of his tours
♡rockstarbf!matt who flys you out to any tour stop you want to be at
♡rockstarbf!matt who lets you do his eyeliner before going on stage
♡rockstarbf!matt who will bring you on stage and sing his love songs to
♡rockstarbf!matt who dedicates every song, every show, every album, and every award to you
♡rockstarbf!matt who sits behind you while he teaches you how to play the guitar
♡rockstarbf!matt who gets a trad tattoo of your name on his chest
♡rockstarbf!matt who puts his leather jacket around you when you two go out at night
NSFW
♡rockstarbf!matt who fucks you in the same leather jacket
♡rockstarbf!matt who makes you keep your hand on his tattoo of your name when you ride him
♡rockstarbf!matt who loves missionary because he gets to stare into your eyes while telling you he loves you
♡rockstarbf!matt who fucks you backstage when you get jealous of the fangirls he interacts with
♡rockstarbf!matt who whispers things in your ear like “you’re the only one who makes me feel like this.” “thats it baby, mark me up so everyone knows who i belong to.” “you feel that baby? so deep in you, could get you pregnant. yeah you like that? make sure everyone knows your mine.”
♡rockstarbf!matt who LOVES when you leave hickeys on him, that way he can take his shirt off on stage and remind everyone who he belongs to
♡rockstarbf!matt who is so in love with you that he wakes you up every morning with his face in between your thighs to prove it
♡rockstarbf!matt who begs you for head backstage when he pops a boner right before he has to go on
♡rockstarbf!matt who is still high off the adrenaline of performing so he fucks you in the back of his car on the way to his hotel.
♡rockstarbf!matt who fucks you harder when he notices his driver staring at you a little too much
♡rockstarbf!matt who pays his staff extra since they have to hear the sound of skin slapping and your moans coming from his dressing room every show
♡rockstarbf!matt who writes a whole song about giving you pleasure
♡rockstarbf!matt who gives the best aftercare, always cleaning you up before dressing you in one of his band-tees and holding you close to him while y’all drift off to sleep
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thats it :D lmk what y’all think! my inbox is always open :))
#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo headcanon#matt sturniolo headcannon
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This constant dream I'm having about Sero- jdjwjfjcn man has me wrapped around his finger, it keeps replaying in my head :')
#it's very sexy- it's juST#hcjdnkfnf#I'm feeling insane over him-#sero <3#hanta my beloved <3#he is my og boy toy and i love him to pieces#he is the first bnha character i had a sex dream about- and he just keeps coming back#sunkingdreams#😫😳😍🥺#thats me waking up from it- every fucking time#sunkingrambles
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i just wanted to draw the ave mujica outfits .
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#nenekasa#<- i like them.#sorry i like mygo + avemuji but cant make fanart of anything im not Fucking Crazy about normally#had to touch it up digitally because i tried coloring a Pen Drawing in with Watercolor. in earnest.#Everything think the announcements gonna be a new unit. I think that would be hilarious and the worst possible timing#Given where everyone else's arcs are but the miku design looked cute so if its jsut a new game that would cheese me#My tag blabbering... what else ... im artfight slacking. my wrist hurts. course selection is next week. SCREAMS#please pray to God i do not have any 8am classes. PLEASE. my college commute takes over an hour. If i have to wake up at 6am i will k#Oh my God i have to go to the dentist tomorrow too please fucking helpme THEYRE GONAN FIDN AMILLION CAVITIES AND KILL ME. AAAAAHG.#Every time theres another proseka broadcast announced i get scared cause i have so many song covers i want in the game but.#I want to draw them first. So that if they Do get added to the game i cna go HEH... >:)....#Thats whyi did skeleton orchestra emnn and scissorhands rks. I want scissorhands in the game reallybad i love that song#3DMV EVEN PLEEEASE but also nothing can too miumes choreography from like a decade ago i wanna do a cosplay performanc eof it someday...#i ❤️ waacking.#actually the one i Really want to draw is ALSO nenekasa. record red save me. ILL DRAW IT OK
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miss pauling WOULD NOT SMELL FINE.
#me disagreeing at everything about miss pauling that people paints her as something good sweet or cool#WHEN SHES NOT COOL OR AWESOME OR SMELLS GOOD AT ALL SHAKES YOU AROUND LIKE A BOTTLE#she smells LIKE HUMAN SWEAT and old clothes from a humid closet she barely cleans. like a grandma.#well grandmas do smell nice. BUT THATS NOT THE FACT#ok well she does smell fine and bearable maybe he hair smells like bed sheets no changed at all#because she wakes up so early she doesn’t have time to clean her room or make her bed#she just instantly runs not even eating breakfast and dying of hunger until either scout or soldier gives her a cookie#or a half eaten pork beans in soldiers courtesy#and gets home late EXHAUSTED and throws herself in the bed to later wake up in 5 minutes#me wanting to expose her every single damn time i am evil like that to my ult#oh yeah her hair doesn’t smell that good at all. full of lice. and greasy. girl wash YOUR HAIR that’s what demo always says to her#prob demo often times calls her out or secretly spy will come and said damn my mask doesn’t even smell that bad than that hair of yours#but is either of those two. wait what i was talking about#her teeth are so yellow because she forgets to clean them#crusty eyes too. can’t put makeup stupidass just only puts her fav purple lipstick to hide her crusty lips#takes a deep breath… fuck. woman failure
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*checking the tracking information for my package from under a pile of overpriced teas and vitamins* this next herbal supplement will fix me
#g o d what is up with my brain thats been making everything so hard recently#like. im in a job that im MUCH happier with now and loving it. im no longer living a waking trauma nightmare as a call center sup#...why is my brain acting like im forcing it on a trek through fucking mordor just trying to get through a normal day at work#im on break from school. why am i not able to do any of the things that i wanted to do during the semester but was too busy for#why am i not able to do anything that i want to do and if i DO manage to do it why am i not able to enjoy it#why am i living like every moment of my life in fear that im wasting my time or doing something wrong or not good enough#and like i KNOW the answers are adhd and depression and anxiety#but my buddy. my pal. @ the wrinkly fleshy thing in my skull#im on 6 different psychiatric medications with a total of up to 11 individual pills per day. im actively in therapy and have been for years#and my life is currently much better than it maybe has ever been! WHY am i still struggling so hard 😭#like i know recovery isnt a straight line and etc etc but like. it just feels like im doing everything im 'supposed' to do so what gives#so. gonna start drinking more plants i guess and see if that helps. im already on some that seem to help but i think i need more now#bc im having a bad time in my brain prison tbh :(#im not even like upset typing all this out either im just like. bewildered. incredulous. exhausted#lets hope this new overpriced tea fixes me i guess#rambling
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grabbing the ichi plush by the neck and death gripping it like 'good things are to come its all going to be ok good things are to come' like its a lucky amulet
#snap chats#i didnt even pre order the ichi plush but spiritually i did. good luck charm.#anyway rant time look away from here. Im At My Limit <- i say this every week#I DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS WRONG <- lying. my moms home#i just feel terrible again. i feel so awful i gave myself a headache from being upset#do you know how upset you have to be to give yourself a headache just sitting and thinking#that happened when i was taking a spanish test once but i think i was just so stupid my brain actually started to hurt trying to think#i also remember being sad as hell that day tho so....... maybe it was both#everyday it feels like im sad thats so fucked up and theres nothing i can do about it#ALSO IT'S RAINING AGAIN rain never promises anything good unless you're a plant#im working but i should have this done in. idk a few hours#and then its the weekend right.... there's no limitations for sadness though brother doesn't run on a schedule#unless we're talking about seasonal depression but we know what i mean#ew im supposed to go to that con tomorrow i dont even know if i want to go anymore#i just don't want to do anything anymore ig is the vibe#idk i have a journal to whine bout all this in ╮(╯-╰)╭ squeezing ichi plush is a mood tho so im still posting#maybe if i play a lil y7 ill remember theres good things to wake up for..#also i gave myself another headache OWOWOWOW STOP when will it end#wait let me be sad again because my dad said we'd hang out today or tomorrow#but i just know that's not happening and now im even more sad WEHHH no one loves me etc etc die#sometimes you just need a melodramatic teenager moment i think we're all due that right like once a month#ok i have to stop my head really hurts ☠️☠️☠️
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I wanna personally apologize to the many many many people who have asked me things recently that I have not answered.... I have... so many exams.... and everything hurts....
Brain has an out of service sign on it at the moment. Please return in 8-9 business days.
#fumking dying atm jfc#gaAHGGH#whoever invented back to back exams should be burned alive i think#you put your 100% into one exam and are sleep deprived and dying#and then you wake up the next morning feeling like death with like... an academic hangover worse than any hangover youve ever had before#and then... you have to go write... another exam...#worth like 40% of your grade#yeah yeah yeah yeah chiiiiiill. that is definitely a great way of showing that i know thr material.#take what I can write in 4 hrs in a high pressure situation while im two seconds away from death#thats totally gonna represent my understanding of the content#motherfuckers of court: i have SIX exams#back to back to back#literally no breaks#AND TWO ASSIGNMENTS DUE AT THE SAME TIME#WHO THE FUCK DECIDED THAT#anyway im fucking dead rip 🙏👍👌✌️🤘#on that note i WILL be unhinged for the next week because im running on like 2 hrs of sleep every night and way too much fucking redbull#and im stressed tf out#so maybe block me for a week or two#im serious i am already insane and ive done 10% of it. for your own sanity leave. im either not gonna exist for two weeks#or everyone is going to be ridiculously aware of my lack of sanity
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not me getting sudden flashbacks of acting THE EXACT SAME WAY hunter did with belos back when he was the golden guard. i feel incredibly sick to the stomach.
#personal#vent#i remember being younger after my parents died i literally acted like hunter#i remember asking permission to eat and shower#every morning i wake up i would do my chores first and only when they're done i'll eat something as a reward#i even bowed at her feet and thanked her so many times whenever she does something nice to me#i wasn't even reaching the bare minimum. i wasn't allowed to go outside or go to college#i wasn't allowed to make friends bc she used this ''other people are outsiders. only family will be there and love you'' mentality#so i was incredibly sheltered even when i'm technically 18#if i was late doing chores (bc i wake up later) she would do them and guilt trip me on how much i owe her for these#EVERY DAY#i get threatened to being separated from my sister with being sent to different orphanages whenever i disobey her#she blamed me for my dad's death and did not allow me to grieve. saying thats just my dad while he's her son#so you can imagine how incredibly terrifying the whole situation is to an orphan#and what sickens me even further is that she loved it#she loved the attention i gave her. that pure blind loyalty#she kept the money that was supposed to be for our food and groceries my aunt gave her. guilt tripped me into using the little money i got#now i love belos as a complex and fucked up character#but i think the urge to be loyal to someone so monstrous and abusive has been taught to me#its familiar#abuse tw#trauma tw
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im so lucky to know so many people in my life to have met so many people in my life that are just life saving ill never not feel lucky people are so beautiful and kind and talented and funny and have so much worth everyone ive ever met anyone in my life i have ever touched i just cant believe it ill never be able to understand it how important everyone is how much i love people the degree to whihc i love people and everyone i have ever met ill just never ever be able to express the depth of how important it is to me it might be the most important part of my entire life. i just need people to know how much i love them im desperate for it to be known how important everyone ive ever met is to me. all of my friends everyone whos ever been kind to me and whoever ive been kind to it will never be lost on me how important it is. and i feel so lucky to be graced i guess by my friends. i cant imagine the life i would live without every event every person who ive ever crossed. i would never sacrifice anything to not be where i am now because of the people i know and have known. the people i know and talk to everyday or the people i see in a notification or pass by. i cant overstate your importance to me. i cant overstate how important i want people to feel. i want people to see themselves how i see them. i can not overstate your importance to me and i love you. im so lucky ill never be able to take it
#i just want ti go to sleep but i cant my sleep schedule has been so miserably depressing me#not that badly. i cherish every moment i have with the people around me and i cherish how lucky i am to be surrounded by such unbe#lievable people. i am happy everyday because people love me.#this will never be lost on me. the importance of it. the importance you all have will never ever be lost on me. your worth as a human being#you are so kind. you are so talented. you are loved by people because you are seen by people that way. i will never lose this#im miserably desperate for everyone i know to feel loved or to know that i love them. nothing will ever ever ever in my whole fucking life#ever be more important to me#nothing in my fucking life will ever be more important than that. please know how much you mean to this. to everything#i dont know what changed but i cry so often now and every single time my thoughts wander to how deeply i feel about this#im just sobbing and sobbing and im like. i love the people that care for me. i love the people i care for#i know when i stop crying or when the day rolls over i get to talk to everyone again. and i feel so lucky. i feel so desperate to explain it#how. much. it. means. to me. How badly i mean this and everything I say.#i dont fucking care if yoire my mutual from fandom or someone who random followed because my blog was funny#someone i talked to once or twice. you mean so much. i swear to god. ill never be mpre genuine or more serious. i guess#thats very kind of you to do that. or like my posts or anything. youre very kind for that. you mean alot to me.#i just dont want to fall asleep when the sun rises and wake up with a few hours to talk to people before im alone#i really hate it right now. and my neutral state has genuinely just been on the brink of crying. like if i sit still too long i just sob#thats genuinely how i have been for the past few days#and thats not the fault of anyone its just how my brain has been treating me#but whdn i get like this i just remember how lucky i feel about everything. like the depth of my feelings#you really just have to trust me when i say like how forever sincere and deep snd monumental it is to me. like please understand the depth#of when i say i love you. dear god i love everyone ive ever met i love you. please please please please understand how desperate i am#i will never ever feel more strongly about anything. i cant imagine it#i have to make this exact same fucking post over and over again#i need to keep saying it man#i need people to love themselves like i love them#the degree to which i say the word need#anyway. i love you. i hope you have fun or are happy about something. or draw write something nice. talk to your best friend. something
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#this is fucking insane#i know ive been complaining for months but i cant fucking stand this anymore#waking up so much more exhausted than you went to sleep. every single day. feels like fucking torture#i feel like im losing my mind. my body. humans cant fucking function like this#god help me the thought of another day like this makes me want to scream much less the thought of years#this is a fucking curse#aaaaaannnd im crying. of course#god#....you know that feeling. when youre everything has gone wrong and its been such a long day and youre so exhausted#that any little thing will make you want to curl up in a ball and cry like a kid until you fall asleep#thats the level of exhaustion i am at most times#i cant fucking handle this anymore#Id rather be missing fucking limbs than be like this. like this is a torturious fucking kind of disability id rather god just buthered me#instead#and of course i feel fucking nauseous and dizzy from just how tired i am
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how life feels after not breaking my fast even when faced with a plate of my favorite most mouth-wateringly delicious binge foods
#it also feels so devastating tho#like its RIGHT THERE. WITHIN REACH#and my body is so starved and i hadnt eaten anything all day and all i wanted was to eat everything in my sight#even at a normal portion size it doesnt even have to be a binge#but i didnt allow myself that because im disciplined#but god i miss it#i miss eating#i miss the flavor#im so scared that one of these days im gonna lose control#that im gonna start eating again and gain it all back#its my biggest fear right now#but god i just miss the little sparks of joy from eating a favorite food#life feels so dull now#all the color and intrigue has been sucked out of it#i live for nothing but starvation#i wake up every day with an empty stomach#yearning to fill it with something that could fix this mess in my mind#but i dont. because i would rather be skinny than happy#on that day that he sees me again#i need to be skinny. or at least the same weight i was at the last time he saw me#he cant see me fat#thats all i need#i need to lose 60 more fucking pounds#im fucking repulsive#how could i let myself get this bad#if december 2022 me knew my weight ever got this high i dont even know what i would have done#im a disappointment to everyone even myself#im such a fucking eyesore. the least i could do for the world is make my disgusting form at least slightly more appealing#my only joy now is seeing the scale go down. its the one thing i look forward to#but even when the numbers go down rapidly its not enough. no matter how far i go it never will be enough for me
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my brain is broken broken i literally just had the thought that im looking forward to hearing the christmas music this year. girl its january 2nd go see a neurologist
#i joke a lot about having no concept of time but sometimes it is actually a bit scary#i want to chalk it up to the fact that i normally spend holiday periods working on projects so i dont participate in celebrations much#i think im gonna do myself a favor and stop overburdening myself with work once im done with this project i have to turn in on march#i do wanna pass my uni classes in september too but once thats over i wont sign up for more stuff to do outside of work#for a couple years at least#or my head is gonna explode#do you want a me/cfs relapse? this is how you get a me/cfs relapse#hell maybe ill even take a year off work in 2026#to do fuck all and just recover mentally from what the last few years have been#when i say i havent stopped for a minute i mean it#my job has never crunched me im just incapable of not filling every waking hour with projects classes and stuff#its on me 100% i need to stop
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urfgghh
#struggling not to drop off the face of the planet and web again lol#im. rly struggling#but i promised myself i wouldn't#its literally a disservice to myself and my friends and i just cant#ive done that literally enough#isolation is bad for me i have to keep telling myself this lol#even if i do fucking crave it at times its only because shit gets overwhelming thats all#when i get overwhelmed i shut down and hide#idk how else to deal#but im rly. trying not to#ohhh my god its so hard not to 100% shut down#i get in a bad mental space and pick at my brain and it just gets bad lol#then years worth of problems come up#then im focusing on shit that didn't even set me off in the first place#then everything is a problem all at once and i feel like me and my life is a mess#and then every waking minute of having my phone around is frustrating and i just want to toss it#oof#anyway i ripped half my nail off from when i umm. accidentally? cut myself a month ago#and yeah that just put me over the edge cuz i was already fucking struggling#i feel caged and trapped thats like half my problem#and like useless and um#i rly feel unaccomplished in literally anything and a waste of space#smhhhhhhhhhhh#im not gonna disappear i gotta tell myself that over and over#little steps lol#if i disappear ill like get into that 'off myself' state and i rly dont need to drop that low again even tho i kinda already have#i need distractions#i should probably go do something productive like shower and eat#voxxrambles#txt
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I've been making so many adult phone calls recently and now Im playing will my doctor fill my t prescription, they haven't gotten back to me I've been off T since the day after my one month mark, they needed PA for my insurance to cover it, "we'll get back to you in one to two business days" it's been much longer, the pharmacy wont tell me when PA is required leaving me to wait longer, I still don't have a job, I have to call my doctor tomorrow to ask whats going on. If I get told anything with my insurance is fucky, that the PA didn't go through, I have to pay out of pocket I can't afford my T. I was so fucking happy to start it, I was over the moon I FELT happier, I was so excited to wake up every day, I haven't felt like that in so long and it all got torn from under me and I am trying to hard to stay positive and that it will all be okay because it HAS to be okay because I chose to live, because I chose to keep going, because I want to be alive, but all of this really takes it toll and I am just tired. I am so tired of being the adult. I've been playing adult for so long I want to step back and I cant and I have to keep going because that's just life and I just want one stable thing again
I want to be on T again. I want to be happy. I want to be myself. I chose to be happy why is that so hard too keep
#elias.zip#I guess. im not going to lie I feel very fucking defeated. I got told I would get an email from a place I applied to tonight. I will give#her a couple days bfore I try calling again and hope they don't blacklist me. Im going to ask to switch to shots because I cant keep doing#this PA stuff. I cant. i just want to get my T at reasonable times and have it when I need it. Why does everyone else get to have it no pr#oblem and I dont? I am doinf my best to stay positive I am trying to change how I let my internal dialogue talk but man it feels so fucking#right to me that I should just give up. Starting T was a joke. Im never getting on it again. I'll be 30 and no ones going to know Elias be#cause he doesnt exist and im never going to hear my name said and I was never meant to be happy and I will rot in my room just like I did#when I was younger and I never really left my childhood home. and I never grew up#and tomorrow im going to get up and make another adult phonecall and ask nicely about my prescription and if I can switch or if switching#would negate the PA request I am not told about and I will have to scrounge for money and save every penny and tell the voices#thank you for helping and hang up and go on with my day where I do nothing because I am nothing and then I will smile at everyone and#say I love you#I dont even have any money for shots or for needles. sure my insurance says they cover shots and shots usually provide less trouble but w#hat about the needles. the disposal. a safe place to put those. i cant ask my mom and dad. im alone in this. i cant pay anyone back. no#place wants a deadbeat as a hire and thats all I am to any job no matter how hopeful I come in. no one wants to work with me. no one wants#to train me. my teacher was right on how I was going to grow up.#and yet. again. tomorrow im going to wake up and go 'this is fine' and im going to call and act like everything is ok and assure myself its#ok because it has to be. if I tell myself that enough it has to be true. thats how it works#fake it till you make it and all that#just. man all the adults in my life were right about me lol
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teaaaaaas tiimee
#i am. exhausted??#like i knew i was sleep deprived but whoa#i slept so much#and im gonna have to be productive even after that fucking dream#im honestly rlly embarrassed but i couldnt help it??#and besides i reap the consequences via shaking and bad dreams#well And starvation and dehydration :T#i am actually truly weak lmao im gonna shake till i eat smth filling#honestly thats probs why i slept so long too#bcni just felt weaker every time i woke up so i just stayed down#i do often do that its not a good habit and for some reason gives me mad chest pain#i rlly want a hug#idk why i just need a lil cracked apart#and a hug would squeeze me back together#begrudgingly i need to srsly get up#the rest of my body is waking up and going oh god we feel like garbage and im gonna ache for a bit#maaaaaan ://#hopefully i can take advantage of not being sleep deprived at least lmao#but not in a stay up late again for days way or its just a repeat#i need to bounce back from that dream that fucked with me#anyyyywayyss
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,
#sometines it really hurts#when i wake up from a dream about my ex and me#theyre always different some are our real life selfs others are versions of us that are just feelings.#like todays i woke up and just felt like shit. we were goin on adventures ot smthin#it makes me think back on the dream i had when i had to leave them. my last day together with them. i dreamt we went our separate ways#and i hated that dream so much i literally woke up sobbing but they were still asleep and i hugs and kissed them more#i missed them so much when i slept and now all those versions never fucking lesve me i hste having dreams of them. i said i was done#but 7 years of loving someone doesn't just end even now i dont know whst i feel#being back in my old room brings up memories id rather forget. i hste crying i hste how much i cried to them#i hate how i almost ended my life over them. its so hard to think that someone so important to me just left and didn't tell me why#left me to suffer. i honestly think.. if they didn't tell me not to kill or hurt myself after our first break up i wouldn't be here#and thats such a hard truth. thst i literally would have ended myself sooner if they didn't make me promise not to do anything#everytime i wake up from a dream with them i still think back to when we started talking again saying we both had a dream of being together#and so every time i do dream of them i think. and honestly it kinda scares me. that they might try to reach out. for good or bad#it scares me it gives me so mych anxiety because i do still love them. not romanticly but i loved them so much before that i hold something#something that id call love i cherished them they were all id ever talk about and when we broke up i felt like a shell.#i questioned our whole relationship. anytime i saw someone who looked like them it gave me panic attacks i had really bad ptsd#i wanna throe up#i just finished crying#it reminds me of my terrible breakdown where i couldn't stop shaking and almost fell down the stairs#you were stalking my blog then. checking my tag and were seeing it live#seeing me have an active panic attack and i always wondered if you were saying `good i hope you suffer` because i never thought the same#i got angry about how it happened but never i hope you die never i hope you suffer. i miss when we were on good terms#but its been a week and gabe hasn't come back so i hope you guys please lesve me alone#im tired of feeling something for you whether it be sadness fondness or just anger i want you to move on from me#you guys have each other and im nit romantically involved with anyone tho i love my friends so much and i would do anything for them#anyways msybe in just so tried from work and emotionally exhausted thst i started spilli g out shit#nzzt
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