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munson-blurbs · 15 days ago

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Joker!Eddie Munson x Harley Quinn!Reader

Summary: You're a psychologist who has always done the right thing. Enter Eddie Munson, mandated to attend court-ordered counseling sessions, who has a devilish side you can't resist.

WC: 2.9k

Warnings: dark fic, loosely based on Joker and Harley's story, mention of drug dealing, mention of parental abandonment and death, murder, ex!Jason Carver/Harvey Dent, arson, power imbalance, allusions to smut

A/N: Before y'all say anything, I know that Joker and Harley have a toxic relationship. Eddie and Reader bring out the worst in each other, but this is *clears throat* FANFIC! So long live these fake toxic relationships. And big thank you to @corroded-hellfire for her help with the lore. Happy Halloween!

Divider credit to @saradika

Eddie Munson didn’t sit down once for the entire duration of his first session.

Most of your clients opted for the couch. The more nervous ones sitting so close to the worn cushion’s edge that they nearly fell off, while the more experienced ones practically lounged as they recounted whatever horrors had occurred since their last session.

Eddie paced back and forth, his Reeboks wearing a hole in the mildewed carpet, only pausing when he needed to light a cigarette.

“I mean, this is bullshit.” He took a drag and exhaled a cloud of smoke. “Twenty fuckin’ years, I get shoved to the side, and now they think some shrink is gonna fix all my problems?”

‘They’ most likely referred to Chief Hopper, who had been the one to recommend Eddie receive court-mandated therapy instead of serving time in jail for possession with intent to distribute. The police chief had become soft ever since adopting that teenage daughter, which was probably why Eddie was in your dingy office rather than behind bars.

Your gaze flicked over the tattoos on his arms, visible where he’d cut his shirt sleeves, and looked him in the eyes. “Have you been to therapy before, Eddie?”

He threw his head back and laughed so violently that you dropped your pen. Before you could reach for it, Eddie picked it up and placed it in your lap, his fingertips grazing the hem of your skirt.

“After my dad got locked up for, oh, I dunno, the tenth time?” Eddie shook his head and laughed again, though this one was quieter. “My uncle took me to talk to some shrink. Turns out that my old man had actually stolen the guy’s car. Small fuckin’ world, huh?” He scratched at the nape of his neck. “Yeah, he told us never to come back. So we didn’t.”

Your heart broke for the child he once was, rejected by a therapist while coping with his father’s incarceration. “Where was your mother?” You asked softly.

Eddie flicked some ash into the ashtray. “She’d been dead for a while at that point.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t be.” His face lit up, smiling too hard to properly take another drag of his cigarette. “At least she didn’t have to deal with any of this shit. All she had to do was be worm food.”

The visual made your stomach turn, but Eddie was grinning.

“Aww, c’mon, Sweetheart” he pouted jokingly, snuffing out his cigarette. “You gotta appreciate some dark humor once in a while.”

The nickname would have earned any other man a stern look, maybe even a warning for dismissal, but it felt so right coming from Eddie.

“Do you use humor to cope?”

He twisted a skull ring around his finger and walked over to where you sat before crouching down in front of you.

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do here.” One hand found your knee, his nail catching on a run in your black tights. Eddie peered up at you, lips twisting into an unsettling smile. “But I’m not dealing because I’m sad or trying to fill a void left behind by my parents. I’m doing it to survive in this shithole.”

He rose then and resumed his pacing while he ranted. “We can sit here all goddamn day and talk about my daddy issues, or my mommy issues, or how the system failed poor Eddie Munson over and over and over. And maybe I’ll leave here feeling slightly less shitty about myself. But you know what that won’t do?” He didn’t wait for your response. “It won’t put food on the table or keep the lights on. It won’t stop the bank from taking my trailer. Greedy bastards.”

Only when you remained silent did Eddie glance over at you with his wide brown eyes, as though he’d just remembered his speech had an audience. “You can put all that in your notes. Show it to Chief Hopper, to the judge; I don’t care.”

You closed the marble notebook perched in your lap and capped your pen. “I’m not trying to fix you, Eddie,” you said. “I just want to know you.”

“No, you don’t.” Eddie huffed out a chuckle. “You wanna get inside my brain. You can’t help it. I’m an interesting guy.”

He was. You’d always been interested in understanding people; how they thought and how it affected their behaviors. It was why you chose a career in psychology. But Eddie had something beyond that—a magnetic pull that drew you in, no matter how many times you silently reminded yourself to maintain those professional boundaries.

For the remaining twenty minutes of your session, you dug for as much information about Eddie as you could get. He played guitar, took six years to graduate high school because of an algebra teacher who was determined to flunk him, and kept a notebook of his own to plan Dungeons & Dragons campaigns.

If you didn’t have another client immediately after him, you would have let him keep talking. You clung to every word like a lifeline, noting the little mannerisms peppered into his personality.

Eddie spoke with his hands and ran his fingers through his knotted curls when he was particularly agitated or passionate about a topic. His nose scrunched when he asked questions that required your approval. He’d lick his lips every so often, and his tongue poked out of his mouth when he was concentrating. Every movement was intoxicating.

Your next session was more of the same, though this time, Eddie actually sat down on the couch. He lit a cigarette before speaking, taking a drag and holding it out to you.

You watched the smoke curl around his fingertips, beckoning you to accept his offer. It was wrong; sure, you could smoke during a session, but to share a cigarette with a client? You shouldn’t. You couldn’t.

You did.

“There ya go,” Eddie murmured under his breath, watching your chest rise with the inhale and fall with the exhale. “Sweetheart, ya gotta take the edge off once in a while. Do something that makes you smile.”

You cocked your head teasingly, holding the cigarette hostage for a moment longer. “Aren’t I supposed to be helping you?”

“We can help each other.” He plucked the cigarette from your grasp. “Watch.”

Your gaze stayed on his lips, full and slightly chapped from the bitter winter, as he inhaled deeply. He crooked a finger, and your body moved of its own volition to the spot beside him.

His thumb pulled at your lower lip, a question he could already answer. His mouth found yours, not in a kiss, but just to transfer the smoke he’d been holding back; tobacco mixed with a subtle hint of spearmint.

“How do you feel now?” Eddie hadn’t moved back, and you felt every word he spoke.

All you could do was nod, focusing every ounce of energy on going back to your chair. The distance suddenly seemed too far; any distance from Eddie seemed too far. You wanted to be in his lap, sharing the remainder of that cigarette, drawing you in closer…

Swallowing your steadily building desire, you forced yourself to ask him a question that didn’t pertain to the way he tasted. “W-What was it like moving in with your uncle?”

Eddie laughed darkly, taking in your nervousness like he knew exactly how brainless he’d made you. “My uncle, huh? All right, I’ll bite” He stretched, revealing a thin trail of hair that started at his navel and dipped below the waist of his jeans. There was a sick gleam in his eyes when he caught you staring, but he said nothing about it.

He told you about a police officer dropping him off on Wayne Munson’s doorstep in the middle of the night after his father had been arrested.

“Just me and a trash bag full of clothes that barely fit me,” he proclaimed. “Oh, and the headlice tagging along. Ended up having to shave these gorgeous locks.” He shook his head to exaggerate his point.

“That must’ve been really traumatic for you.” You tapped your pen on your notebook absently, somewhat aware that you should be writing this information down, but not able to look away from him.

Eddie shrugged. “Not really. It grew back.”

“I meant…never mind.” You tucked your lips into your mouth to stifle a giggle.

He looked as though he wanted to say something, but your actions distracted him.

“Don’t hide your smile.” He ran his tongue over his teeth, letting you feel the gravity saturating his words. “Makes me happy when you smile.”

“I didn’t want you to think I was laughing at you.”

He clicked his tongue in mock sympathy, like he pitied you. It was a gesture you were unused to seeing from your clients. “You wouldn’t be the first, Sweetheart.” Eddie sat forward. “You might have been the first to feel bad about it, though.”

Over the following weeks, your sessions with Eddie followed the same routine. You would ask him questions and he would answer them cryptically. Shared cigarettes became more frequent as you convinced yourself it was good for building rapport.

In the early days of spring, where winter’s chill still peeked in each morning, Eddie opened the door to your office and found you crying in your chair. Most clients waited for you to get them from the waiting room, but he always let himself in.

The moment you heard the hinges creaking, you swiped at the tears dampening your cheeks. Embarrassment flooded your veins and heated you from the inside out at the thought of him seeing you in such a vulnerable state.

He was at your side in a heartbeat, reaching for the tissue box you kept on your bookshelf. “What’s wrong?” There was venom in his tone, ready to bite at a moment’s notice.

“N-Nothing,” you lied clumsily, convincing neither him nor yourself. “Just a bad day.”

Eddie gritted his teeth. “Don’t fuckin’ do that, Sweetheart.” He grabbed your chin and brought your full attention with it. “Don’t fuckin’ lie to me. Not when I’ve been honest with you.”

The story spilled out before you could think better of it: You’d woken up that morning to your ex-boyfriend banging on your front door, screaming to let you in, his slurred words informing you that he was drunk. Calling the police would be futile; he was buddies with the whole department and more than likely had them in his back pocket. All you could think to do in that moment was hide under your covers until he eventually gave up and left.

Eddie tensed, never losing his grip on you. “Did he hurt you?” His breathing quickened, fight-or-flight activated. “I swear to God, Sweetheart, if he put his hands on you–”

“No,” you hurriedly assured him. “No, he just scared me. But Jason’s never–” Your eyes widened when you said his name aloud; all at once, you realized your error.

“Jason…Carver?” Eddie’s eyes narrowed. “The hell were you doing with an asshole like him?” He shook his head before you could answer. “Never mind. Doesn’t matter. All that matters is that he never bothers you again.” Rage flashed in his eyes. “Just say the word, and I’ll do it.”

You furrowed your brows. “What do you mean?” There was no way…he wouldn’t…

He crossed his arms over his chest, obscuring the view of the devil on his shirt. “Do you remember a few years ago when Harrington Enterprises was planning to shut down the plant to build those luxury condos?”

You nodded, wondering where he was going with this. Warren Harrington had all but signed on the dotted lines, but he’d been murdered in his own home before he closed the deal. Rumor had it that his own son, Steve, had orchestrated it in order to gain control of the family fortune. An investigation came up without any suspects, and the plant remained open.

“If they had their way, my uncle and all of his buddies would be out of a job, and then they’d lose their cars, their homes…well, you know how it goes.” Eddie smirked. “So I did what I had to do to stop that from happening.”

“You…” you lowered your voice in case anyone was listening in, “you killed Warren Harrington?”

He bristled preemptively, only relaxing when he didn’t detect any judgment. “I’d do anything to protect the people I love.” Eddie’s palms cupped your cheeks, the calluses scratching at your skin. “I’ll kill Carver if it’ll keep you safe, Sweetheart. You won’t have to worry about him anymore.”

Everything about this was wrong. He was threatening to commit homicide for you because he loved you.

You needed to stop this. It had gone too far. And yet you couldn’t, not when he was pleading to let him take care of you. All of your career, all of your life, you had been expected to clean up everyone else’s messes. You were the one who fixed other people’s mistakes, who solved their problems. To lift that burden from your shoulders, to let someone else take it on…

“I love you, too, Eddie.” You reached out and took his steady hands in your trembling ones. “I love you so much.”

“Okay. Good.” Eddie sighed deeply, leaning in and pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. There was a flicker of amusement when he pulled back and saw the concern on your face. “C’mon, baby. You should be happy. Here.” He reached behind your chair and grabbed your bag, rummaged through it. Deft fingers uncapped your ruby red lipstick and drew a Black Dahlia smile on his lips, extending from one clean-shaven cheek to the other. “Now, close your eyes.”

You did as he asked, placing full trust in him. You expected him to draw a similar smile on you; instead, he pressed his mouth to yours, transferring some of the makeup to your face.

The words I love you kept falling from your lips, muffled only by the hungry kisses you eagerly gave and accepted. Zippers were unfastened, buttons undone, clothes strewn across your office floor. For a moment, the only sounds were the soft moans and panting breaths that punctuated the silence. It was love, and it was perfect.

It all happened so fast.

You woke up the next morning to sirens blaring down the street, a never-ending parade of noise and flashing lights. There was no way Eddie had already done something to Jason; you’d just talked about it yesterday. Killing one of Hawkins’ most beloved citizens would certainly take more than twelve hours of deliberation.

If Eddie had struck, he wouldn’t have been able to escape unnoticed.

Black smoke billowed from one of the Loch Nora mansions, visible even in the less wealthy parts of town. You could hear your neighbors clamoring, and the consensus was that it was the Carver house that was burning to the ground.

You drove straight to the county jail, not even stopping off at work or letting them know you wouldn’t be in. The fear of being reprimanded paled in comparison to Eddie’s fate.

Flashing your government ID, you bolted through the doors and blew past the guards. Sure enough, Eddie Munson sat behind the bars of a cell, head in his beautiful hands. The same hands that had touched you just yesterday, fumbling with the tiny buttons of your blouse. The man who was larger than life during your sessions suddenly seemed so small.

“Puddin’?”

Eddie glanced up when he heard the nickname you’d given him. “Baby, I…I didn’t kill him. I tried, but he got out. Forgot that rich people have those smoke detector things,” he added with a wry smile. It was then that you saw that his mouth was still stained with remnants of your lipstick. “But when he ran out of the house it looked like half of his face had burned off.”

Of course he’d stuck around to see the aftermath of his destruction.

“We can talk about this later. Okay?” You lowered your voice to a whisper. “We’re getting out of town. And we’re never coming back. I’m gonna tell the guards that I’m taking you out for a therapy session. Just follow my lead.”

Eddie was uncharacteristically quiet, so much so that you worried the guards might apprehend him because he wasn’t talking. Their narrowed eyes followed you and Eddie until you exited the building.

“My girl is a natural-born deceiver.” Eddie laced his fingers with yours. “So proud.”

You laughed. “If they gave us any trouble, I might’ve had to knock them out with their own clubs.” When you started towards your sedan, Eddie tugged you in the opposite direction. “My car is–”

“Forget it. Leave it here.” His eyes scanned the parking lot. “We’ll take that one.” He clocked your confusion and let out a raucous laugh. “Al Munson may have been a deadbeat, but he did teach me one thing.”

You slipped your arm around his waist. “Looks like I have a lot to learn.”

“It’s gonna be me and you against the world, baby.” Eddie pulled you closer and whispered in your ear. “We’re gonna knock ‘em dead.”

#eddie munson #eddie x reader #eddie stranger things #eddie x you #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x f!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things fanfic #fanfic #eddie munson stranger things #stranger things #angst #smut

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mrs-monaghan · 2 months ago

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https://x.com/spideyskm/status/1829087580001890356

all joker clowns thinks the same isn’t it ? 😭 I think the same too. And like they did with ms announcement in Jeju they’ll say it like it’s a normal Tuesday for them…

I’m waiting for that day so I can distribute sweets on my neighborhood 🤡🙌🏻

I honestly couldn't tell if you're hating or not, which is why I'm replying to this. I'm so confused 😂 i mean, u said clowns so ig you're an anti? I decided not to be replying to antis anymore but I'm not sure what you are so....

Yes.

This is exactly what is going to happen. They've done it before. They lived together for years and didn't bother to hide it. And yet people still called them bros. So yeah, they will do it again after MS and you will still be here idiotically laughing coz "they said it like it was a normal Tuesday."

Maybe they said it so casually because it was??? I'm sure when they first heard about it they cried and celebrated and had one of the happiest fucks of their lives. It was already in their system by the time they were discussing it on the show so yeah, they talked about it like it was no big deal. Because the big deal reaction had already happened in private with eo and their loved ones. We weren't privy to that and thats okay.

I will dumb it down for ya and give you an example. When I got married, for the next two weeks I was like "I'M MARRIED!?!?!?!" 🥰😄🥳😭😃😁👏🏽☺🤸🏽‍♀️🤸🏽‍♀️🤸🏽‍♀️🤸🏽‍♀️ Then after a month I was like "I'm married" ☺🥰😁

3 months in, while I'm still super happy to be married, I dont say it all cheery and loud and stuff. Its just like, "yeah, I'm married." 🤷🏽‍♀️😁

Sometimes its easier to give y'all the most simplest answer because you just can't think for yourselves. 🤧

In the words of Monk; here's what happened:

Military enlistment is mandatory. Inevitable. Its something that was always going to happen no matter what. Jikook knew this... had accepted this... were prepared for this. They'd have to go almost 2 years without seeing eo... (if their breaks didn't allign) without spending quality time together. They were aware of this and had accepted it. It was unfortunate... and sad... but it was the reality and there was nothing they could do about it.

But then... BUT THENNNN there was talk about exemption and oh shit! There was hope.

That maybe... just maybe, BTS would be exempted and they wouldn't have to do this thing that they really didn't wanna do. That Jikook wouldn't have to be separated at all like they'd thought all these years. Like they'd mentally prepared for. They didn't want to... but they are only human and so they allowed themselves to hope.

Unfortunately, that did not end up happening and so they had to proceed as planned and serve just like everyone else. But here's the thing, hope had occurred. Hope is awful. Just awful. Because now Jikook had to accept reality all over again.

But you know what? They tried. They did their best. They accepted it was happening. For 18 months, they would serve separately, it would soon be over and they would be reunited. It wouldn't be easy, but they didn't have a choice.

But here's the thing, that ugly thing, hope? JK had felt it and now he couldn't... he couldn't. He just, simply, couldn't. The idea of going without Jimin for 2 years was just too much. He can't even go without Jimin for a day how was he going to do that for almost 2 freaking years??? It just... it wasn't... no. Just, no. Absolutely fucking not.

Jimin saw this and couldn't let his Jungkook go on like this. There is nothing he hates more in this world than to see JK unhappy and thus the idea of enlisting together was born.

But- but- they knew better this time than to hope. They couldn't. They couldn't hope. Not just yet.

(Thanks @chicknbunny13 😘 )

(JK didn't need reminding they were enlisting. If this was in Jeju where they already knew their request had been approved, JK wouldn't have playfully swatted at Jimin 😂) imo anyway.

Where were we? Right. Hope was threatening to rear its ugly head but they weren't gonna do it. Not this time. So months go by... fingers crossed until they finally get the good news!!!

They were ecstatic, of course. Over the fucking moon. And this part you Jikook anti anon and all of us didn't get to see it. We didn't see them get the good news. We didn't see them cry in happiness. We didn't see them tell the members and their families. We didn't see the celebratory love making 😔😪 we missed all of it. But guess what? It happened.

And they talked about it many times after that. And we just so happened to catch one of the times they talked about it casually on camera. It seems to me like you expected them to make a big deal about it. But your dumb ass didn't stop to wonder why they would when they'd already known about it before hand???

Sit down anon. Stupidity doesn't look good on anyone.

#ask shaz #bts ask #the fuckery #jikook antis #jikook #kookmin #minkook #jimin and jungkook #jikook is real #if jikook isn't real then neither I'm i #jikook theory #jikook theories

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burningcheese-merchant · 16 days ago

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burningcheese evidence part 2 because yes

I'm kind of foaming at the mouth right now, I'm not really going to be 100% coherent in this post, episode 6 has melted my brain and I need to cool off (also I have actual work to finish irl lololol)

Spoilers under the cut, don't want to be That Asshole

Also for the 1,000th time, it is perfectly okay and understandable if you do not like this ship, I'm not holding a fucking gun to anyone's head, I know it's not really canon or anything, just let me have my dark hero/villain relationship in peace

"Hey where's Golden Cheese? Is Golden Cheese awake yet? Can she wake up now? No? Why isn't she awake? I want her to wake up already, why won't she wake up already? It's implied that I've asked this question multiple times, when will someone give me the answer I want? I want her here, I want her attention, I want her to wake up already-"

He thinks so highly of her in his Joker-esque way. She's so strongggg. He knows she's strong. Why wasn't she strong before? This isn't like her, he knows that. He knows her. He knows she's strong. He wanted to see her be strong. What happened?

Wanting to straight up get high with her. Wanting to watch her let loose. Calling her a combination of "little thief" and "little bird", two pet names the BurningCheese community (spearheaded by yours truly) has had Burning Spice assign to Golden Cheese

"I KNEW SHE WOULDN'T DISAPPOINT ME" bro thinks the whole damn world of her and had faith she wouldn't let him down, look how fucking happy he is she broke out of prison. She's just like him right now fr fr

She's giving him precisely what he desired, which is a struggle. Which is a chase. Which is a hunt. Which is a FIGHT. Which is HER. HE WANTS TO HAVE FUN WITH HER.

Bro is literally SMELLING her everywhere dude. He's attuned to her. To her presence.

"Hey bring her back to me, I miss her. But I swear to God, if y'all hurt her, if y'all ruffle a single one of her feathers, I will KILL YOU, YOU GOT THAT? SHE'S MINE! ALL MINE! BRING HER TO ME ALIVE AND THAT'S IT! YOU GOT IT?!?!?!"

God the cute sing-song voice I can't right now. Jesus Christ, my guy. Calling to her like that, really??

Sniffing her out again because he's fucking deranged and obsessed with her. He's got her whole essence on lock. Tracking her down like a fucking bloodhound. He's hungry for her, he's STARVING, he's BARKING MAD THAT ANYONE IS TRYING TO GET IN HIS WAY

Little bird? Little bird?? Little bird??? LITTLE BIRD??????????

THE NAME I HAD HIM GIVE HER IN MY FIRST BURNINGCHEESE FIC, WHICH I WROTE DAYS BEFORE THIS FUCKER EVEN RELEASED? THE NAME ALL THE OTHER SHIPPERS HAVE HAD HIM CALL HER TOO? YOU CANONIZED THAT? YOU MADE IT REAL? YOU MADE THE PET NAME HE HAS FOR HER REAL??? I CAN READ THIS IN A DIALOGUE BUBBLE FOR REAL? THIS IS IN THE GAME FOR REAL? ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW???

"How good it is to see you in one piece" SMILING AND LAUGHING BECAUSE HE'S GLAD SHE'S OK? TELLING HER SO TO HER FACE? MY GUY

Every step she takes that is wrong to others is right to him. Bust out of jail? Yes good I like that, I want it, I knew she wouldn't disappoint me. Lead him on, make him chase her, have them play hide-and-seek? Yes good, this is fun, I love the thrill of a chase, I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE I CAN FUCKING SMELL YOU I CAN FEEL YOUR FUCKING SOUL YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME LITTLE BIRD. Not taking his own goddamn power back? What kind of fool would make such a stupid, regrettable decisi- JK HE'S GLAD HE MADE THIS DECISION, THAT MEANS SHE CAN BE HERSELF AND KICK HIS ASS STILL, THIS IS WHAT HE WANTED, THIS IS EVERYTHING HE WANTED, SHE IS EVERYTHING HE WANTED! YES! (Also, one Freudian slip of several where he says it's HER Soul Jam and not HIS. He's already handing it over to her in his mind. Why? Why tho? Didn't he want it back? Guess not, huh? Guess having the pretty cheese lady beat his ass was too much of a turn-on, huh???)

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? ARE YOU FOR FUCKING REAL? HE SAYS THIS TO HER? WITH THAT FACE? WITH THAT TONE OF VOICE? SAYING SHE'S LOVELY? THAT WHAT SHE'S DOING IS LOVELY? CALLING WHAT THEY'RE DOING A "DANCE"? TELLING HER TO KEEP IT UP? TELLING HER HE'S THOROUGHLY ENJOYING THIS?

HE KEEPS TRYING TO REASON WITH HER. HE KEEPS TRYING TO TALK TO HER, TO GET THROUGH TO HER, TO GET IT INTO HER PRETTY LITTLE BIRD SKULL THAT HE'S RIGHT. THAT DESTRUCTION IS THE ONLY WAY. Why go to that trouble? Why does he give a single, solitary fuck what she thinks or feels? Why even bother speaking on the matter at all, if it's a fundamental truth in his eyes already? WHY KEEP TELLING HER TO FIGHT, TO KEEP PUSHING, UNTIL SHE UNDERSTANDS HIM? WHY DOES HE WANT HER TO UNDERSTAND HIM? WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK? And what's this about "and see the day"? Didn't you want to kill her, Burning Spice? Didn't you want to crush her, break her to pieces? Was that another Freudian slip there? Did your mask fall off for a second? DO YOU NOT ACTUALLY WANT HER TO DIE? DO YOU WANT HER TO LIVE, TO STAND UP AND FIGHT, JUST SO SHE'S FORCED TO RECKON WITH THE TRUTH OF YOUR PHILOSOPHY? WHY DO YOU CARE, MOTHERFUCKER? HUH? WHY???

"Stop teasing me" my brother in the Witches we ALL know you don't mean that. You've been BEGGING her to tease you the past two fucking chapters. Stop lying you dumb fuck, your face is giving it all away anyway

He's still clamoring for them to get fucking high together, honestly wtf is wrong with him? Drug-fueled combat, is that his kink? Also boy he sure has a vested interest in her enjoying their battle, doesn't he

She wants more? She wants more of him? She wants more of what he's got? She wants more fun? She wants him to strike a pose that clearly shows off his arms and chest more? YOU GOT IT BABYGIRL-

"You would destroy everything you have, just to get to me?"

"FUCK YES!!!"

My guy. My man. My cookie. My bro. My dude. Your mask fell off. Your mask fell off, my guy. You just told her point-blank that you'll kill people to get her. You'll blow up your own house to get her. You'll trash everything you ever owned to get her. You even have excuses ready to go to justify it. "Oh, it's all garbage, if you want it go ahead. This place ugly as fuck, I hate it, I wanted it gone anyway." Burning Spice. Burning Spice Cookie. You just admitted out loud that you are so obsessed with her that you will tear down your entire life for her. You just told her that to her fucking face, with a big, dumb grin. You've got the "happy" sprite equipped, buddy. You're HAPPY to tell her in no uncertain terms that all that matters to you is going after her. Fighting her. Getting to her. HER. ALL THAT MATTERS TO YOU IS HER!!!!!!!!! YOU JUST FUCKING SAID THAT SHIT OUT LOUD!!!! CAUGHT IN 4K AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN MAD!!!!! YOU'RE NOT EVEN DENYING THE ALLEGATIONS!!!! THIS CAN BE USED AGAINST YOU IN COURT, BURNING SIMP COOKIE!!!!!!

If he doesn't compliment her in some way, even indirectly, at least once per conversation, he will spontaneously combust. Pointing out how different and interesting she is, how she breaks the mold, how she defies the cycle of change and history even after it's already chewed her up and spat her out. Just say you want to put your dick inside of her, dude, please this is fucking embarrassing-

Ok nvm bro is straight up having the biggest, hottest orgasm of his entire fucking life right now, he's straight up speechless, he says like 3 coherent words to her after she awakens and then he's just looking like THIS and smiling so hard his damn is about to be split open by that ecstatic grin. Laughing his stupid, horny, obsessed, creepy ass off. Bro looks like he's CHEERING FOR HER in this shot, are you fucking kidding me? He's HAPPY she got back up, he's HAPPY she got a power boost, he's HAPPY she's kicking his ass, JUST LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL SMILE, HE'S SO IN LOVE IT HURTS

And last, but not least:

Was this really necessary lol

BurningCheese is canon, Burning Simp Cookie is down terminal, we can all fuck off home and die now, I will now be ascending to Heaven (for 5 seconds before God smacks me back down to Hell, because no way I deserve paradise for all of my bullshit lol), thank you goodbye

#cookie run #cookie run kingdom #burning spice cookie #golden cheese cookie #burningcheese #goldenspice #once again I am encouraging you to ignore this if you don't like the ship #totally fine if you don't. i'm sorry i'm so obnoxious about it. i'm just having fun and being silly here #just please don't be an ass about it. I'm not the morality police and neither are you. It's fiction. They're talking cookies

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ask-maxie-boy · 2 years ago

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Goonion's Ghoul (Part 3) [dp x dc]

(A/N we switching the official name of the goonion to The First Universal Henchmans' Union. Just makes sense, thank y'all for the advice)

(Parts 1 & 2: here) (Part 4: here)

"Before we begin, I'd just like to clarify a few things. Mainly, can I ask for your preferred name?"

"Is that a joke?"

"Well, I figured it would professional to come out and call you Mr. Cobblepot, but seeing as we're talking about a... certain aspect of your enterprises, I wasn't sure you wanted your legal name in the records. The Union takes confidentiality very seriously."

Oswald Cobblepot looked down at the scrawny boy in front of him. This was the guy that had Eddie shaking in his boots? He tapped the ashes off his cigarette into the ashtray, and scoffed. "Doesn't matter to me, as long as you remember who you're talking to before you open your mouth."

"Of course! As you wish, Mr. Penguin."

There it was. That smile just a bit too wide, just like Riddler had said. Oswald Cobblepot wasn't an amateur, he wouldn't let something like that throw him off balance. "Alright, kid, lets cut to the chase. Whats this all about a Union?"

"Oh, Mr. Penguin, I had thought you heard! The First Universal Henchmans' Union is a recently formed collective of working class freelance goons, henchmen, and grunts of all different colors."

"Hweh! And what do I care if a bunch of simpletons wanna have a party together?"

The kid's head tilted, a sickening crack! ringing through the room. Just for a second, its eyes seemed to glow.

When you deal with bats for so long, little things like that don't sway you.

"If they're so little to you in your mind, then surely anything they might ask of you shouldn't be that hard to swallow?"

The temperature in the room seemed to drop, as the thing's face tried to imitate inquisitiveness.

Good. The Penguin likes it cold.

"You can toss away the whole intimidation shtick, boy. I didn't get to be where I was by bending over to every ignoramus who thinks they can get me to do what they want."

When you deal with Bats for so long, you start to pay more attention to little expressions. The way the shadows suddenly fall onto the boy's blue-eyed, black haired face as he tilts his head downward makes The Penguin's flinch, just for a moment.

"I promise you sir, the Goonion is a very real, and very serious organization."

Cobblepot sneers, cigarette holder angling upward, as he taps his umbrella on the ground. "I pay my people well. My lounge is up to code, too. You don't have a damn thing on me, and here you are trying to pull the wool over my eyes. Well listen here, boy, you don't run an operation like this in Gotham without knowing fear. Fear is watching every shadow, looking for the pin pricks of light. Fear is the cracking of bones in the room over as you know the jig's up. Fear is watching Gotham's shadow spawn appear from the darkness, promising the only thing he wont do is kill you. You're way out of your league if you think I'll bend to such a cheap trick."

When you deal with Bats for so long, you learn to keep your eyes open. You keep track of exits, you look for little disturbances, keep your ears ready for even the softest sound.

You pay attention to that little voice that says you're being watched.

"Mr Penguin, do I need to remind you just who these 'simpletons' are? They're the men who carry your goods to and from your lounge. They're the ones who rig up the Riddler's bombs, traffic weapons in and out of the city. What happens when deals go south, when plans are canceled partway though?"

When you deal with Bats for so long, you watch the shadows. They practically live in them, entering and exiting like they're made from the stuff. Anything that might give away their position.

The shadows are dancing. Pulsing with something even darker than Gotham. He swears he can hear the sound of a bat gently hitting someone's hand. Distant laughter, not natural, almost forced.

"You know, Mr. Penguin, The Joker is easily one of our worst offenders. One of his more interesting complaints is the lack of security in regards to chemicals. See, he doesn't really care much if there's missing inventory, or what happens after his plan, as long as there's enough for what he needs." A vial flutters between its fingers, eyes almost bored as a forked tongue slides between sharpened teeth. "I wonder, where does it all go?

Eyes, green as emerald and as bright as the sun burn into Ozwald's. A grin stretches wider, wider, quite literally from one ear to the next filled with jagged teeth. "Do you want to find out?"

...~☆~...

"...My... smoking habits."

"Yeah, honestly. Its like you said. Most of your stuff is up to board, and your workers are fairly happy. Its mainly just an issue for henches with asthma, though secondhand smoke isn't something most people enjoy."

"You did all that over my cigarettes?!"

"its fairly understood that the Iceberg Lounge is not a smoke-free area, so you can do as you please there, but when it comes to abandoned warehouses or other places of business, we ask you please refrain from smoking."

"I can't believe this."

"For what its worth, the goons understand its part of your whole outfit, and are willing to compromise. We have a list of alternatives that visibly resemble a lit cigarette, and will fit in your holder, but wont actually release any smoke..."

@akikkobara @thegatorsgoose @addie-lover-of-stories @apointlessbox @screamingtofillthevoid @semiprofessionaldumbass @sailor-goddess @malice-of-the-sunrise @savaton @spikedlynx @emergentpanda-blog @starlightcat04

#this post dedicated to thoth #dp x dc #dc x dp #goonion #dpxdc #dcxdp

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not-goldy · 2 months ago

Note

They didn't want to go home and got emotional cause the trips were over and couldn't even cheer themselves up about having to go back to Seoul. And some of you think these men are dating your favs? Wake the hell up. Jikook are JOKERS. The Joke is on you. All of JK's 30 women partners waiting at home, Tae and Rm, whoever the hell y'all have him paired with. He didn't want to go home to them. Jimin said yeah no, forget Saeon, Suga, Rm, Taemin, deluded actresses, Tae, whoever the hell y'all have him with, he don't want to go home to none of them either. They literally didn't want to go home to none of these people and spend the last few days with them. They wanted to stay together in their Japan bubble. Are you seeing this? Are you hearing them? Hello are the lights on? Is anyone there? They had a few days to go before enlisting and they said can we just stay here & then go enlist together. Now chew on that, then choke on it.

And not JK asking why he isn't in Jin's dream with Jimin cause he's going with Jimin. He said its both of us going together, don't none of you ever forget it.

Hey as the first Jungkook woman to the 30 I can tell you it's not real and it's all in our heads 🤧

Jungkook don't lie on his feelings. If there's anything in this world you can trust its Jungkook's feelings. He is not a faker, say whatever you want about him. And I'm glad people are catching on. I remember someone telling years ago that had it not been from my perspective they woukd never have assumed Kook to be the assertive type. And I was so stunned like how is it not obvious 💀

Flash forward several years later now we are here with the whole world acknowledging this fact.

And I believe him when he says he wants to go with Jimin be with Jimin and my God the pain he covers with anger when he feels emotionally distanced from Jimin.

You guys don't understand the things I'm willing to do to keep Jimin for him😔

Jimin is his everything 😭😭😭😭😭

If I could buy Jimin I would buy him for Jungkook 😭

I love seeing him happy and he's a whole other level of happy when he is around Jimin😭😭😭😭😭

You guys I can't take this anymore 😭😭😭😭😭

My heartu😭😭😭😭😭😭

Bless you Jikook bless every cell in your body😭💜

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justagalwhowrites · 1 year ago

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New in Town - Ch. 2: First Date

Joel takes you on an actual date. A continuation of New in Town Ch. 1 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Best Friend's Dad!Joel Miller x Female Reader

CW: Smut. Just... all the smut, OK? They fuck. They're fans of that. It's why we love them. Mild violence. No use of Y/N. Age gap (reader is 35 Joel is 47, not a focus of the fic). Minors DNI, 18+ only

Length: 7.9k

AO3 | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

A/N: Hi all!

So yeah, this was originally intended as a one shot but here's the thing... people really liked it? I got a lot of requests for more on Tumblr so y'all are getting more :)

This will be a relatively short series but a series none the less. I hope you enjoy it!

You didn’t have a great reason to be nervous. You felt pretty stupid for feeling nervous, in all honesty, but your stomach was in knots all the same.

You were going on a date. A first date.

A first date with Joel.

Your best friend’s dad.

Who, it seemed, had done nothing but fuck you senseless in the two weeks since you’d met the man.

And that’s all it had been. Fucking. Just ridiculous amounts of fucking. Like it was a miracle that you could walk amounts of fucking.

Not for lack of trying to do other things. Joel had come back the next day with the intent of actually fixing your sink. Which, he did. And then he fucked you on your couch.

You invited him over for dinner to say thank you for fixing the sink but the steaks sat out on your counter while the two of you ripped each other’s clothes off. You’d gone to his house to watch The Room and you’d made it all of five minutes into the movie before the two of you were naked on his living room floor, his cock stretching you open and making you gasp as he filled you.

Finally, he came to your apartment to pick you up to go for drinks and to listen to live music. You opened the door in the short, tight dress you’d picked for going to bars and he damn near growled before he grabbed you and kissed you. You pulled him into your apartment and, before you knew it, you were naked and entwined on your bed.

“Next time, I’m not bein’ a gentleman and comin’ to your door,” he said, panting for breath, your leg still over his hip. “You’re meetin’ me at the damn car. Only way we’re gettin’ out of the damn house is if we make it so I can’t just take your clothes off.”

He was picking you up in five minutes and you’d realized that, since you’d started fucking Joel, you’d hardly spoken to the man. Your mouth was usually otherwise occupied. And so was his, for that matter. Because fuck, that man could do amazing things with his mouth.

So you were nervous. Butterflies in your stomach, pacing your living room, checking your phone every 15 seconds nervous.

Because what if he didn’t like you once he actually talked to you again? Once you were in a place where you couldn’t just get naked and you had to rely on conversation to keep him interested, would he still be interested?

Sure, the night you’d met had felt… Well, unlike anything you’d ever experienced, really. If you had, you wouldn’t be single that was for damn sure. You’d never been able to just talk with someone the way you could with Joel. It had been electric. He was so smart and funny and kind.

The thing that stood out to you most was that he noticed things about people. In a way men - especially men who were the strong, physical type - didn’t really seem to. He was worried about one of the guys on his team at work who’d been having problems at home. He’d noticed that the guy wasn’t laughing the same way he usually did at the joker on the crew.

“I’m so bad at that shit,” he’d taken a sip of beer, shaking his head. “Not like I can talk anyone through marriage troubles. Kid troubles, maybe. But these guys never want to talk about their shit, you know? So busy tryin’ to handle it themselves they fuck their lives up.”

And you’d had so damn much in common. The love for terrible movies and rock music and spicy food. You could have talked to him all night.

You just weren’t sure if he felt the same way.

Your phone dinged in your hand. Because you were so nervous and excited you’d actually taken it off silent for the first time since you’d had the thing.

“Here,” he texted. He was two minutes early. You smiled.

Another ding.

“Very weird not coming to your door. Not a fan.”

You texted back.

“Me either. See you in a sec!”

Joel had planned the whole day, only telling you enough that you knew what to wear and what to bring. Which apparently required a change of clothes.

“Promise you can get changed somewhere I can’t just jump you,” he’d texted. “Going to do my best to keep my hands to myself.”

“That’s a damn shame,” you’d texted back. “I like when you don’t keep your hands to yourself.”

“Fine woman,” he’d replied. “I’ll keep them to myself until the end of the date. Would like to actually get you out in the world at some point. Sound fair?”

“That’s better,” you smiled as you typed it out.

“You drive a hard bargain,” he replied.

“Not the only hard thing I’m interested in.” You’d added a winking emoji to that one.

He texted back immediately.

“Dangerous for me to be distracted by you with hard things while I’m at work so I’m going to stop this before I hurt myself… See you in the morning.”

He’d told you that you needed good walking shoes and something you’d be comfortable moving in for the morning and something that made you feel good for the afternoon and evening. You tried to be smart about it, picking hiking boots with jeans and a t-shirt for the morning and just changing the shoes and the shirt for the rest of the day. Like maybe if you kept your pants on it would keep you from jumping into bed with Joel.

At least right away.

“See, this is why I can’t come get you at your door,” he shook his head as you climbed in the passenger seat of his truck. He was half smiling, his head propped against his hand and you had to fight the urge to kiss his damn dimple.

“Oh really?” You asked, brows raised, as you buckled up. “Why’s that?”

“You got no business looking that damn good in jeans,” he said. “Couldn’t risk getting you behind closed doors right now, we wouldn’t get anywhere.”

You rolled your eyes and smiled, shaking your head.

“You’re insatiable.”

“Just with you,” he winked.

Joel took you to a park in town, grabbing a pack out of the back seat of the truck and leading the way to a trail.

“Said you liked hiking,” he said. “Figured this way you’d have a place you’d know if you wanted to come back. But only if you want.”

He was watching you like he was waiting for you to reject the idea but you just smiled.

“This is perfect hiking weather,” you said, starting on the trail before looking over your shoulder back at him. “You coming?”

“Lead the way, Beautiful,” he smiled. “I’m just enjoying the view.”

The trail was a loop that went out to a lake with a nice overlook. On the way out to it, you told Joel about camping with your Girl Scout troop as a child, how you’d found a sense of peace in nature ever since. Joel told you about camping with his brother, Tommy, as a kid and taking Sarah when she was little.

The trail was quiet - almost shockingly so considering the weather - and the overlook was empty when you got there. Joel picked a spot and sat down, opening his pack and pulling out a few paper bags, bottles of water and bottles of iced coffee.

“Not sure if you’ve come across these yet,” he handed you a bag. “They’re kolaches, these Czech pastry things. Don’t ask me why they’re popular here, couldn’t fuckin’ tell you, but they’re damn good. I’ll trade you flavors if you want, wasn’t sure what you might like…”

“I’m not picky and these look incredible,” you bit into one of the sausage ones. You were right, eyes rolling back in pleasure as you chewed. “Fuck, that’s good…”

Joel smiled, looking a little proud.

“Yeah, Sarah told me you’d be finding the best restaurants in town real quick so I only have a few weeks to impress you with shit like this,” he said, taking a bite of his own roll before he frowned a little. “Not weird if I talk about her, is it? I’ve never…”

“Fucked one of your daughter’s friends?” You finished for him, smirking a little, when he went quiet for a moment.

“I was gonna say dated one but,” he laughed. “Both are true. Generally don’t go for younger women. Believe it or not.”

“It’s not weird if you talk about Sarah. Well, it kind of is, but it would be weirder if you didn’t. We both love her, just in different ways. Pretending she doesn’t exist is just… not the way to go. And I’m not that much younger,” you elbowed him lightly. “Besides… you’re kind of my exact type.”

He looked surprised by that.

“Really?”

“Yup,” you smiled a little and opened the iced coffee, taking a drink. “If I redownloaded my dating apps I could show you my age range preferences and you are right in the sweet spot there, Miller.”

He just looked at you for a second, a crooked smile on his lips. The damn dimple.

“What?” You laughed, taking another drink of coffee. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You deleted your dating apps?”

You felt your eyes go slightly wide. You hadn’t meant to admit that.

“OK let’s pretend I didn’t just say that, alright?” You winced. “This was going so well…”

“Why would I pretend you didn’t say it?” He frowned a little.

“Because it’s weird,” you looked back out at the lake, needing to look away from him for this conversation. “And I don’t want to put any pressure on you or anything, I really don’t want to make it weird. I just… I’m not trying to get you to be in a relationship or anything, I just didn’t really feel like trying to see anyone else after I met you so I deleted them and…”

“I like it,” he cut you off.

“Yeah?” You smiled a little.

“Yeah.” He leaned in, smiling back. “I like it a lot.”

He kissed you, soft and almost chaste at first, but that didn’t last long. One hand moved to the back of your neck, pulling you close, the other to your waist, sliding down toward the hem of your shirt, seeking out your skin. You moaned into his mouth, a familiar needy ache settling inside you. His tongue dipped into you and you pressed closer to him, trying to put your body against his when someone cleared their throat from behind you.

The two of you jumped apart and you looked back over your shoulder to see a man, a woman and two kids standing there, staring at you. You pressed your lips together and tried not to laugh out of the sheer embarrassment of it all, your face getting hot.

“Morning,” Joel said, clearing his throat a bit.

“C’mon kids,” the woman said, glaring at you. “Quick look at the water, then we keep moving…”

You cleared your throat awkwardly and took a drink of your iced coffee while the family spent a minute at the overlook before the parents started herding their children away.

“Mom, why are leaving so quick?” The little girl asked.

“Because honey,” the woman glanced your way as they headed back down the trail.

The second you couldn’t hear their footsteps anymore, the two of you burst out laughing, you grabbing Joel’s thigh to keep from falling over with it.

“Oh my God!” You gasped for breath, almost crying laughing. “What the actual fuck is our problem? We’re adults! This isn’t what adults do!”

“This is your fault!” He was trying to stop laughing and failing. Miserably.

“My fault? How is it my fault!”

“Those damn jeans,” he kissed the delicate skin behind your ear, making you laugh even harder. “How am I supposed to resist you when you’re lookin’ that good?”

He kissed you again, making you moan for a moment before you pulled back from him.

“I thought you were keeping your hands to yourself until the end of the day?” You nipped his lower lip. “It’s not even noon.”

“Argh,” he groaned, his forehead falling to your shoulder. “You’re right Beautiful, I’ll behave. Or try to, feel like I should get at least some credit for makin’ it this long.”

Joel made you drink an entire bottle of water before you left the lake (“Can’t have you runnin’ on just iced coffee and kolaches, we got three miles back to the truck…”) and he seemed to be OK letting the dating app comment lie. Which worked for you because you were vaguely horrified to actually have that discussion.

Because you had deleted the apps. And you were really hoping you wouldn’t need to download them again. At least, not for a while. You were pretty sure that you were crazy about Joel. Like could fall head over heels for the guy in a way you hadn’t since you were 21 and a stupid college girl kind of crazy about Joel.

But it was so early that it seemed immensely stupid to feel that way about the guy. Even though you felt like you’d known him for years, even though you thought about him all the damn time. You’d still only known him for two weeks.

And if you wanted a relationship - an actual, honest to God relationship - you’d have to reckon with the fact that you’d met him through your best friend, his daughter. This was a conversation you’d need to wait to have, until you had some sense of certainty that what you were risking was worth that risk. There was no way you could actually be that certain after two weeks. Even if you felt like you might be.

There was a small hitch in Joel’s plans for the day, though. The bathrooms at the trailhead were closed and he sighed.

“I promise this ain’t a scheme to get you back to my place and out of your clothes,” he winced a little.

“I can just change in the car,” you winked and patted his chest. His broad, strong chest. Goddammit. “Just keep your eyes on the road while I do.”

You climbed in back and waited for Joel to start driving (“Not getting arrested for indecent exposure at the park because you just climb in the back seat to feel me up, Miller. Now drive.”) before you took your t-shirt off. You may have left your shirt off and only been in your black lace bra for longer than you really needed to, letting your hair down from its loose bun and touching up your makeup before pulling the black, deep v-neck silk top you’d grabbed for the evening from your bag. At a stop light, you felt eyes on you and you looked to the rearview mirror, catching a glimpse of Joel watching you before he quickly looked back at the road. You smirked, tugging the shirt over your head and climbing over the center console and into the passenger seat, kissing Joel on the cheek on the way.

“Told you to keep your eyes on the road, Miller,” you smirked, leaning over the console to wipe your lipstick off his cheek with your thumb.

“You try focusin’ on the road when there’s somethin’ as pretty as you in the car,” he smirked a little. That fucking dimple. “I’m doin’ a damn good job, all things considered. Seat belt.”

You smiled and buckled up.

“Whatever you say, Miller. Whatever you say.”

***

Joel briefly considered making himself come in the restaurant bathroom.

There was no way in hell he was making it to the end of this fucking date, he didn’t know what the fuck he’d been thinking, planning something that was a day long with you. A whole day where you’d be right next to him and he couldn’t properly touch you. That was a stupid thing to do. A damn stupid thing to do.

Because holy shit you were pretty. So fucking pretty. And sexy. So goddamn sexy. So pretty and so sexy that looking at you - knowing just how damn good you felt, knowing he could just have you if you were in his bed or he was in yours - was torture. Fucking torture.

He knew a whole day was a mistake the second he saw you. He should have known before that, too, but sometimes he was a fucking idiot.

Like when he decided to fuck his daughter’s best friend to begin with.

But you looked so damn good just in jeans and a t-shirt - v-neck deep enough that he could see the soft flesh of your breasts as you climbed into the truck - that someone ought to make it illegal. And then walking behind you when the trail narrowed, wanting nothing more than to grab handfuls of your ass and pull you against his aching cock so he could find some damn relief.

As soon as the concept of a date came up though, Joel knew he’d need to start it in the morning, plan a whole day. He didn’t want to stay away from you all day just to only get you for a few hours in the evening, not if he could help it.

And it’s not like he only wanted to fuck you. Not that he didn’t love fucking you. God himself could strike Joel down while he was inside you and he’d die a happy man but he wanted to spend some time actually talking with you. He wanted to know you - desperately, longingly wanted to know you - but doing that when you were there, perfect and tempting, was no easy thing.

Even you changing out of hiking boots and into some cute, girlie shoe was somehow sexy. How was he supposed to keep it in his pants when you looked that damn good doing anything at all?

“OK we can’t both get the ghost pepper wings,” you looked over the top of the menu. “We need to split one order and get an order of something that isn’t going to potentially melt our tongues off.”

“You’re no fun,” he smirked a little.

“No, I’m a great time,” you replied. “I’m just also not insane.”

The two of you shared the wings - both agreeing that they weren’t nearly as spicy as the menu led you to believe - and Joel took you to the next stop on his plan for the day.

“Are you kidding me?” You jumped out of the truck looking practically giddy. “An escape room? I’ve always wanted to try one of these!”

“Yeah, I keep seeing this one, thought I should see what all the fuss was about,” he smiled a little, putting his arm around your shoulders and kissing your temple.

Joel was a little surprised at how much he liked the escape room thing. He’d googled it when trying to come up with something to do with you besides the cliche dinner and a movie shit and it seemed more like the kind of thing Sarah might try to get him to do. But, as it turned out, you and Joel made a great team. And he loved watching you gleefully shout the answer when you figured out a puzzle. You did a happy little jump when something unlocked or pieces fit together and shrieked and threw your arms around Joel’s neck when the room was solved in less than the two hour time limit.

“You seriously planned even more than this?” You asked, brows raised, as the two of you got back in the truck.

“I promised to keep my hands to myself until the end of the day,” he winked. “Can’t expect me to do that without something to distract me.”

He took you to a winery tasting room in town next, the two of you each sampling a different variety of wines.

“This one has a nice bouquet,” you said, nose in the glass. “Definitely smelling… um… rich mahogany?”

Joel choked on the sip of wine that was in his mouth, trying not to shoot it out of his nose.

“I’m sorry!” You laughed. “I really like drinking wine but I don’t know much about it at all!”

“That’s OK,” Joel smiled. “I don’t know shit about it either.”

“But it would sound cool to know about it, right?” You said. “Like, you take a sip and know something about it besides ‘oh yeah, that’s good and it is the color red.’”

“OK now we just have to learn about wine together,” Joel set his glass down. “So we can sound cool.”

“Together?” You raised your eyebrows.

“If you want,” he shrugged, only realizing then that he was getting ahead of himself. “I want to…”

You smiled a little.

“I want to, too.”

At dinner, you excused yourself to the restroom and Joel checked his phone for the first time since he’d picked you up that morning, only to see a text from you come through as he checked his other messages.

“Need your help,” it said. “Last door in the hall.”

Joel frowned, pocketing his phone and went to find you, knocking once on the door before you opened it, grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him inside, locking the door behind him.

“What are…”

“I figure if our clothes stay on it counts as keeping our hands to ourselves, right?” You pressed yourself against the front of him, kissing him.

“Definitely,” he said, already breathless.

He pushed you back into the wall and put his knee between your legs, his cock - at least half hard for the entire goddamn day - against your hip. Your arms went around his neck and you kissed him. His tongue slipped into your mouth and he moaned into you as you started to rock your hips against his thigh.

“Fuck Beautiful,” he groaned as he kissed down your jaw to your throat. “You been needy all day?”

“Since you picked me up,” your head went back against the tile wall of the bathroom, voice breathless and wanting.

“Fuck, me too,” he nipped your throat and pressed his cock into you, grinding against your body like a goddamn teenager. “Think you can come from just riding my leg?”

He pulled you down on him, making you groan. He could feel the wet heat of you, even through the fabric. Fuck, he wanted to feel you there, wanted to bury himself inside you there.

“Yes,” you managed.

Joel’s hands slid down your body to your ass, his fingers sinking into your flesh, pulling your body tight to him as he cursed the fabric between his skin and yours, fucking up against you. You rode his leg, breaths coming in stuttering gasps, working your pussy against him harder and faster, your body pressed flush against his own.

“Joel, fuck,” you fingers tangled in his hair as he buried his face in your neck. “I’m going to come, I’m going to fucking…”

“Good,” he groaned, his cock leaking and achy and all but ready to spill into his fucking jeans. “Do it, come for me, come on my fucking leg…”

You obeyed with a desperate moan and he clutched your body to him as he felt your pussy pulsing against his thigh, the heat of your pleasure, the soft give of your skin pushing him over the edge as he came, his cock throbbing against you.

“Fuck,” you panted, breathless, your body limp.

“Not sure it still counts,” he dropped his head to your shoulder.

“No, it does,” you nodded. “Definitely counts, we’ve been very well behaved all day. We’re basically angels.”

Joel laughed before he kissed you and the two of you sheepishly made your way back to your table, no one at the restaurant seemingly any the wiser that the pair of you had all but fucked in one of the bathrooms just feet away.

The not-quite-fucking in the bathroom made it so Joel felt like he could actually survive the rest of the evening, finally taking you to a bar to listen to live music like he’d been wanting to do since the night he met you.

The place was loud when you arrived, the band just getting started, and Joel found an open table toward the back. You held it while he got drinks and he could see a hint of the lace of your bra whenever you leaned over to tell him something over the sound of the band.

After the two of you made it through a drink, you put your hand in his, tugging him toward the crowd clustered around the stage.

“C’mon,” you smiled. “I feel like dancing!”

He followed you - starting to feel like he might just follow you anywhere - and put his hands on your waist as you pressed your body against his, moving in time with the music, the whole crowd pulsing with the same energy.

When the band slowed it down, you looped your arms around his neck and smiled, your eyes bright with the lights from the stage.

“Can’t believe you actually planned all this,” you shook your head a little. “I don’t know that a guy has ever put this much effort into… damn, anything at all for me.”

“You’ve been dating the entirely wrong kind of men then,” he replied, wondering how the fuck someone wouldn’t try to do anything and everything for you, just for an excuse to see you all the time.

“Probably true,” you laughed a little. “Or you’re just a breed unto yourself, Joel Miller.”

“It’s for the best,” he smiled, trailing his fingers up your arm. You kissed him, all soft and sweet, different from every other kiss he’d shared with you so far. It was the first time it felt like he was kissing you just to kiss you, not because it was leading to your bed. He liked it, the gentle intimacy of it.

The song ended and the band said they were taking a break but would be back up soon and you pressed your lips a little firmer to his for a second before pulling back from him.

“Why don’t you go hold down the table for a second?” You smiled. “My turn to get the drinks.”

“But…”

“I insist,” you cut him off. “Not letting you into my apartment later any other way.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” he kissed your cheek. “But I accept.”

Joel went back to the table and watched you from across the bar, not much different than the night he first met you. Except now he got to go home with you. He smiled to himself and shook his head a little. How the hell had he gotten that lucky?

Sarah had texted him at some point in the evening, asking what he was up to the next week. He texted her back, still not quite sure how to broach the subject of you with his daughter. He’d have to at some point. He wasn’t about to give you up, he’d have to talk to Sarah about it eventually. The both of you would. He sighed and put his phone back in his pocket, looking up to find you at the bar as you stared down some guy who was almost Joel’s size, the man’s hand on your lower back. Your mouth was drawn low into a frown and Joel was half way across the bar before he fully realized what he was doing.

He reached you in what felt like a second, pulling you back from the bar and putting himself between the man and you.

“Hey man…” the guy began but Joel cut him off.

“You botherin’ my girl?” He snapped. His blood was hot, he could feel it moving through his body. He’d looked away from you for a minute, just a minute, and some guy had decided he could just touch you when you didn’t want it.

“Sorry, she didn’t say she had a boyfriend…”

“Don’t matter. She say you could touch her?” Joel shoved him. “‘Cause sure didn’t look like she appreciated that shit.” Joel shoved him again. “You like bein’ touched without permission?” Another shove. “Not so fuckin’ nice when it’s a man doin’ it to you, is it?”

The guy was either stupid or drunk. Maybe both. Either way, he telegraphed his next move by a fucking mile, pulling his fist back to take a swing at Joel. He dodged it, easily, before punching back, catching the man across the jaw and sending him sprawling to the floor.

“Joel!” Your voice snapped him out of it. He relaxed his fist and shook some of the stiffness out of his hand, turning to you and realizing for the first time that the whole bar was staring. Shit. The guy on the floor groaned and started sitting up.

“Why don’t you go on home before we need to call the cops,” the bartender said, his hand balled in a fist on the bar top.

“Come on, Joel.”

You looped your arm around his and tugged him along toward the door, the two of you going to his truck in silence.

“I’m really sorry about that,” he said after he’d been driving in awkward quiet for a few minutes.

“What happened?” You asked. He glanced over at you. You didn’t look pissed, at least.

“Saw the look on your face,” he focused on the road, flexing the hand with the sore knuckles. “I just looked down to check my phone, text Sarah back real quick and the next thing I know that fucker’s got his hand on you and it sure as shit didn’t look like somethin’ you wanted…”

“It wasn’t something I wanted,” you said.

Joel nodded.

“Just saw red,” he ground his teeth. “Don’t know why some men think they’re just entitled to… Look, not exactly proud of it, but if something pisses me off in just the right - or wrong, I guess - way, I just…”

“It’s OK, Joel.”

“Need you to know that it’s never happened with a woman,” he said, glancing at you again before looking back to the road. “Not someone I was seein’, not Sarah, not anyone else. I’d never react like that to you no matter what you did, never…”

“I said it’s OK, Joel.”

The knot in his stomach relaxed just a bit.

“Didn’t freak you out?” He asked, looking your way just long enough to catch you shaking your head as you answered.

“Didn’t freak me out.”

“Because I really don’t want to…”

“Joel,” you cut him off. “I’m not afraid of you because you lost your temper on an asshole at the bar who deserved it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he could hear the hint of a smile on your voice. “It was… actually, it was kind of nice. I dated a guy for a bit in Seattle and he literally watched a guy grab my ass when we were at a baseball game and he didn’t do a damn thing, didn’t even back me up when I handled it myself. It… it was kind of nice to not have to handle it myself.”

“Shouldn’t have to handle it at all,” he said. “Assholes need to learn to keep their hands to themselves. But you definitely won’t need to handle it if I’m there.”

You looked at him for a moment when he didn’t park the truck outside your apartment, instead pulling up to your front walk.

“Thought the whole point of earlier is that we were leaving our clothes on until this point of the night,” you said. “Makes it a little difficult if you’re in a different house.”

“You really still want me to come inside?” He raised his eyebrows.

You rolled your eyes.

“Get in my house so I can take your pants off, please.”

He smiled a little.

“Yes ma’am.”

Your front door had barely even closed behind you before you were pulling at Joel’s shirt, his mouth on yours, his cock already hard and aching for you.

His shirt wound up somewhere on the floor of your living room, yours in the hall. He left the bra on for a bit, your nipples firm against the lace. His pants wound up in the doorway to your bedroom, yours next to your bed as he pressed you back against the mattress. You fell onto it before crawling back, putting yourself in the middle of the bed and he followed, his mouth on yours, tasting the cocktail from the bar on your tongue.

He kissed down your throat to your breasts, his tongue dipping between the gaps in the lace to find your skin, your back arching below him when he licked closer to your nipple before he gave it a sucking kiss. He trailed his lips over your breast bone to your other breast and gave you the same treatment there, your breaths starting to come in gasping little pants. Your bra clasped in the front - thank fuck for that - and he opened it, revealing your soft flesh. He cupped your breasts, the heavy weight of them silk against his calloused hands, before he traced down your body with his mouth and fingers to your hips. He took a second to appreciate just how fucking pretty your pussy looked in your black lace panties before he hooked his fingers around the top of them and tugged them down your body, casting them aside and crawling between your legs.

He put a thigh over each shoulder and pressed a kiss to your clit and you took a deep, shuddering breath before you spoke, your voice sounding almost strangled.

“You don’t have to do that,” you were practically squirming below him.

“I know,” he ran his tongue slowly from your hole to your clit. “But I want to. Been wanting to, shame I haven’t yet, taste so fucking good…”

You moaned and he smiled a little before dipping his tongue into your wet heat. He moaned too, couldn’t help it. He hadn’t been lying, your pussy tasted good, heady musk with a hint of sweetness to you. He clutched one of your thighs against his head with one hand and teased your clit with the other, making your hips rock into him and your back arch.

“Sorry,” you panted, going still. “I’m… fuck, sorry…”

“For what?” He pulled his mouth away from you just enough to look up your body and properly see you. “You think I don’t want your perfect fucking pussy coming all over my mouth? Think I don’t want you riding my fucking face? Want you come all over me, Beautiful, want you to do whatever it takes to make you come all over me.”

He went back to eating at your pussy, devouring you as you moaned and arched below his touch, your sex getting wetter and wetter as his tongue worked you open. He added a finger to your tight, slick hole and he felt you start to contract around him, your breath picking up, your fingers clutching at your bedspread. He pressed harder against your clit, hooked his fingers into your inner wall, his tongue pushing deep as you came around him with a strangled cry. He smiled against you as he worked you through your orgasm, not easing up on you until you went limp below him, whimpering as you did.

“You can’t seriously think I didn’t enjoy that,” he panted as he trailed his mouth back up your body, his lips still wet with you. You just laughed, breathless.

He went to reach for the drawer where you kept the condoms but you grabbed his wrist.

“Wait,” you said, breath still heavy. He frowned but obeyed, his fingers lacing with yours. He gently guided your hand with his to your breast, holding you gently. You moaned slightly and closed your eyes before you gave your head a small shake. “Sorry, trying to focus…”

“Want me to stop?” He smirked.

You glared at him.

“No. But… I was thinking… I’m not… I haven’t been sleeping with anyone but you and I don’t know if you’re sleeping with anyone else…”

“I’m not.”

You smiled a little.

“You’re the first person I’ve been with since I tested last and everything was clear,” your voice was hesitant. “And I’ve got an IUD…”

“You asking me to fuck you bare?” He asked, his eyes searching yours. You bit your lip and nodded. “Fuck Beautiful…”

“Assuming you don’t have anything I should know about,” you said, a little hesitant. “And if you’re OK with it…”

“More than fuckin’ OK with it,” he brushed your hair back with his free hand and held the crown of your head in his palm. “Love the thought of that, of bein’ that close to you.”

He pulled his hand from yours and slid it between you to your dripping slit, making you gasp. He closed his eyes for a second, trying to focus on something aside from the thought of sinking into your body with nothing between you.

“Want to feel you that way,” you said softly, reaching up and running your fingers through his hair. “Joel…”

He kissed you then, sliding a finger into you and making your hips rock against him. He gathered your slick and brought it to his cock, coating himself in you. You already felt good - fucking exquisite - when he brought the head of him to your tight, grasping hole.

Joel pushed inside you slowly, gently, easing you open as you arched into him and your hands splayed over his back.

He licked into your mouth softly as he pressed into you, trying desperately to focus on something besides just how incredible it felt to be inside you bare.

Because it was incredible. Beyond incredible. He hadn’t been inside someone without a condom in years, no relationships lasting long enough for him to trust someone enough to fool around without one. Knock up one woman by accident and you learn your lesson real damn quick.

But you were different. You were you. It was safe to want you this way, have you this way. He could trust you, he could feel that. More than that, he wanted to feel you this way, feel you from inside, feel the very core of you as you took him into yourself, vulnerable and wanting.

He sank into you and you were so fucking wet, so fucking soft, so fucking warm. He’d never felt anything as good as this, didn’t think there was something that could feel as good as this. But it made sense that he’d find it within you, perfect fucking sense that something so exquisite would be found inside of someone so fucking exquisite in every other way. Your laugh, your skin, your way of thinking, of course being inside you would be almost painfully incredible.

“Fuck, Joel,” you panted as he bottomed out in you, his hips flush to yours. He could feel every detail of your muscles stretching around him, the way your body seemed to cradle his own. “Fuck you feel… you feel…”

“I know baby,” he kissed you, holding himself inside you as he gave your channel a moment to adjust to the size of him. “Fuck, I know…”

He kissed you again when he started moving in you and you moaned into his mouth, your hips rocking up to meet his own.

Joel started slowly - he had to or he’d come far before he was ready to, you felt too damn good - savoring at how acutely he could feel every part of you as he thrust into you.

But he gave in before too long, thrusting into you harder, faster, swallowing the delicious noises you made as you clung to him, your fingers pressing into his back, your legs entwined with his. He could feel you starting to tighten around him, your movements getting faster, sloppy.

“Not going to last when you come,” he managed, pressing his mouth to your throat before continuing. “Where…”

“Inside me,” you panted, desperate. “Please, Joel…”

He nodded into your neck, fucking into you harder and faster and your fingers clung to him as you came, your back arching into him. He looped an arm below you, holding your body tightly to his own as his cock pressed deep inside you.

“God, fuck, that’s right, come for me,” he said, inches away from coming himself, your walls pulsing around him harder and tighter than they ever had before. “C’mon Beautiful, doing so good, taking me so well…”

He managed to hold out until your orgasm began to weaken and, with a tortured moan, filled you, pumping rope after rope of come into your desperate, aching core. Your hand flew to as close to his lower back as you could reach and you somehow pushed him deeper into you. He was already leaking out of you, spilling onto his balls and legs before he was even finished coming.

He collapsed onto you, his head over your shoulder, your hands running in little trails up and down his back as you both panted for breath. The moment he had the energy, he lifted his head enough to kiss you and then rolled you so you were both on your sides, facing each other. He tucked a stray hair behind your ear.

“Fuck that was incredible,” you smiled a little at him.

He smiled a little back.

“You’re stuck with me now,” he said. You laughed. “Can’t recover from sex that damn good, it’s impossible.”

He held you like that for a long time, the two of you eventually disentangling from each other enough for you to fall asleep on his chest, Joel’s hand splayed wide across the soft skin of your back.

He woke up before you in the morning, feeling more well rested than he remembered feeling anytime in the last decade, at least. He’d never slept over before and you’d never slept over at his place, always going your separate ways after sex. He didn’t think he could let that keep happening either.

Joel gently extracted himself from you and you made a groggy little sound but he shushed you, kissing your temple and urging you back to sleep, giving you a pillow to wrap around. He went to your dresser and grabbed a t-shirt from a drawer you’d tossed him a shirt to wear home before. He looked at it and smiled a little, the shirt from a Halloween-themed 5K you’d done with Sarah in Seattle. He remembered her gushing to him about it. He pulled it on, grabbed his jeans and the keys to your place and his truck.

You’d mentioned a coffee shop down the road, how you liked their skim lattes, a few times and he thought he found it. It was early enough on a Sunday - church still in session - that the place was pretty quiet. He pulled up a picture he had of you on his phone - a selfie you’d sent from the office when he’d asked to see you one afternoon when his job was being particularly shitty - and asked the barista if she knew you and what coffee you usually got. She did know you and smiled a little at Joel before making you an Irish cream latte. He got a cappuccino for himself and breakfast sandwiches before going back to your place and letting himself in.

You were still in bed, asleep but not deeply. He set your coffee and sandwich on your side of the beg, kissing your forehead as he brushed your hair back. You smiled.

“Thought you might want coffee,” he said quietly.

“Mmmm, always want coffee,” you smiled and opened your eyes, looking him over. You smiled wider. “That shirt fits you a whole lot better than it fits me.”

“Probably looks better on you though,” he smiled, climbing into bed next to you.

“Did you really go to my favorite coffee place?” You gaped at him as you sat up. He shrugged. “Joel, I swear, you’re going to ruin me for all other men…”

“Don’t mind that one bit,” he smiled.

He’d only gotten a bite of his bagel sandwich in when he felt his phone vibrate against his leg. He frowned, pulling it out. Sarah was calling. His frown deepened.

“I’m so sorry,” he began, showing you the screen.

“Don’t be, of course pick up, it’s Sarah,” you said, picking up your coffee cup, your eyebrows knitted together.

“Hey baby girl,” he said after he answered. “Everything OK? Never mind hearin’ from ya but it’s awful early out by you…”

“Where are you right now?” She asked.

He frowned.

“Home,” he said, not thrilled about lying but…

“No you’re not,” she said.

He frowned deeper.

“What d’you mean ‘no I’m not?’”

“I mean,” he could hear the smile on her voice. “I’m in your living room and neither you nor your truck are here, what the heck Dad?”

“You’re in Austin?” He looked at you and your eyes went wide. “What are you doin’ here!”

“There was a cheap last minute flight deal so I figured why not surprise my favorite old man,” she said. “So where the heck are you! I need a Dad hug, it makes getting to the airport at like 4 a.m. worth it.”

“Shit!” You whispered. Joel winced.

“I’m on my way back home after runnin’ some errands,” he said quickly. “I’ll be there in just a few, I can’t believe you’re here baby girl! Missed you so much!”

“I’m going to make coffee,” she said. “And then drink it all before you get here so you can’t have any. See you soon!”

Your eyes were still wide when he hung up the phone.

“Have you…” you began. He shook his head. “Yeah, I haven’t said anything to her, either…”

“We can try and figure it out but I have to go,” he kissed you, deep and desperate, the only thing that could possibly pull him away from your bed right now coincidentally being the person who just showed up in his living room. “I’ll text you, I’m so sorry but…”

“Go,” you kissed him again, a quick but soft kiss. “Go home, see Sarah, keep me posted?”

He nodded, grabbing his coffee and his sandwich and going to the door before turning back to you.

“I had…”

“Joel, I swear to God if Sarah finds out about us because you were standing here too long I will never fuck you again,” you laughed. “Text me about it when you have a minute. And I had a great time, too.”

He smiled.

“OK. See you soon.”

He half ran to his truck, jumping in the driver’s seat and flooring it back to his place.

He totally forgot about the shirt.

Next Chapter

A/N: OH NO NOT SARAH! Even though we love Sarah. But this will be a wrench in things. Wonder what will happen now???

I hope you all enjoyed a cameo by Feral!Joel because I love him.

Thank you so much for being here and for reading! Love you!!!

#joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #fanfic #smut fic #joel miller x reader smut #joel miller smut #joel miller x oc #bfd!joel

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waitmyturtles · 24 days ago

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I am here to complain a bit about Jack & Joker (and apologies, because I'm going to make an inevitable comparison to Kidnap at the end of this post), so this post might be triggering for you (consider yourself warned, some of y'all don't read TWs!) But if you wanna hear some constructive criticism about director Tee Bundit's intriguing storytelling choices for this show, then come with me....

... because there's a lot about this show thematically that would usually sit right with me, namely its heavy focus on family.

Thanks to @veemark, we got a deep-dive into the wedding symbolism of last week's Lunar New Year celebration. I can feel that! Joke is clearly deeply touched to finally be a part of a family -- which is ever more meaningful, considering his brutal rejection by his own blood father in this week's episode.

And there are so, so many more family (and wedding) themes (in non-chronological order):

1) Tattoo's mom taking in both Tattoo and Hoy 2) Boss rejecting his own son, Arun, and adopting Jack (to then use Jack for his own financial gain) 3) The community that Ah Mah has built around her, from taking Joke in, to the little girls she hosts 4) Jack losing his parents and being raised by Ah Mah 5) Arun finding new family with Tattoo 6) Understanding how family ties runs the criminal underground of Bangkok 7) All of the ring symbolism, from Jack getting his parents' ring back, to rings being used as power symbols for the aforementioned criminal underground -- a theme I LOVE, actually, because strength in numbers in society always means more power for those individuals, including for couples that get married (INCLUDING FOR COUPLES THAT WILL BE ABLE TO LEGALLY WED IN JANUARY IN THAILAND AND WILL BE ELIGIBLE FOR SPOUSAL PRIVILEGES, EEEE!)

So many family themes going on in this show. I love it! I love the indication that when Jack and Joke first met years ago, that there could have been a frisson of potential family between them, two guys meeting at a bar and connecting.

AND, I ALSO love the themes of family fucking each other over. Because families aren't perfect! Not by a long shot. Families can truly suck towards each other. Boss to Arun. Save (FUCKING SAVE, YOU DICK) to Jack. Joke's dad to Joke, all of his life. If we're talking potential family from back in the past, then of course -- Joke fucking over Jack, the issue that started this series.

What's not working for me in this series, though, is that somewhere along this trajectory, director Tee Bundit got too caught up in liberally sprinkling these otherwise excellent themes throughout the show (really, much to my joy, because I otherwise love these themes) without offering emotional build or context to our two main characters. There are other connectivity issues to this show, but this is my main gripe.

Now, I've had an up-and-down relaysh with Tee Bundit's work. I hated TharnType, I HATED Step By Step, I ADORED Lovely Writer, I LOVED I Feel You Linger In The Air. We're teetering on Step By Step-territory here in Jack & Joker by the way that Tee seems to be gunshy about giving romance -- which needs to be the cornerstone of an ostensible romance BL -- time to breathe and develop.

We have jumped from an inferred wedding banquet last week, to tired spousey-spousey dinners this week, with hubs ripping off his tie and apologizing to his househubs about not finishing his plate.

Not to say I need to see the boing! I don't need boing to contextualize romance. What I need to contextualize romance is to see these two falling in love, before their marriage got tired and problematic!

Like. I was watching these dinner scenes, and I'm... trying to parse what's happening at the table. Jack is getting screwed time and time again by poverty. It's brutal. Is Tee saying here that love is an impossibility in the context of poverty?

(I don't know that Jack says that about love, per se, in his monologue to Rose while they're with the village children, but he does talk about the inability of impoverished people to truly dream, so maybe that's the correlation?)

And then, because Jack must make his choice to serve Boss and earn money for his grandmother's treatment -- he has to let go of Joke. But.... they were never together anyway! Right?! (See @lurkingshan here for the wise comment on noble idiocy.)

I'm not bought into the closeness that I'm supposed to assume from Jack and Joke -- because we haven't been taken there yet. I haven't seen that closeness develop. I've seen Joke make it up to Jack for Joke's previous transgressions. But I haven't seen Jack respond to that emotionally, bodily, with heart, as a narrative would otherwise convey romance successfully in a script.

Unless this is an allegory meant to convey that poverty prevents people from falling in love. Is that the message? Because... dang, wtf. That's a hell of a message.

It's a brutal message, if that's the message, commenting on the assumed strength of the criminally powerful of Bangkok to squeeze out every last dream of those who are in lifelong debt to crime lords.

It's a very Tee Bundit message, honestly, as well. I can see him driving this show right towards this message that hopelessness is absolutely a reality for the thousands of impoverished Thais who will die in debt.

But this is a YinWar show -- and, unless we are going to be MASSIVELY SURPRISED, which I don't think we are, the car's gotta drive towards romance at some point. These guys aren't even together, and we're headed towards divorce court. We've missed some significant emotional beats along the way, and my eyebrows are furrowed as to how Tee Bundit will three-point-turn his way out of this traffic jam.

(What's my inevitable comparison to Kidnap? Kidnap is the other crime-y show of this autumn season, and its narrative has jumped all over the place. It's SO MESSY. AND, arguably, Min's and Q's romance has been driving at 90 mph since the start of the show. We've had MORE romance than plot, the opposite issue of J&J. But Min showed his true colors by 4/4 of episode 1. We knew the road we were driving on with our two mains! And there arguably hasn't been jumping of the romance narrative, although we got a pretty fast break-up in last week's episode. Kidnap is messy AF, but its intentions are clear. I'm not getting that clarity -- as cheesy as it's been in Kidnap -- in J&J.)

#jack and joker #jack and joker the series #yinwar #yin anan #war wanarat #tee bundit

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suppose-i-was-worm · 2 years ago

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Iceberg Siren pt 2

**I know, I know, it's fast, but I finished writing it and I'm super happy with how it turned out soooooo y'all have to deal with it.There is a mention of nightmares near the end, and a small bit of harassment at the beginning, but nothing happens and it's not graphic, so. Let me know if I need to tag those things, though! again, I'm not going to start a tag list, but the link for the AO3 version will be in a reblog, and you're welcome to follow that.**

Jason cursed himself for not getting Danny Nightingale’s number, days later when the bats were having a conference about why the Joker had been so quiet lately. B was chastising Steph for being flippant, and Jason was tired and ready to go home. He was also considering trying to find Danny and asking him out.

Something about the young man had seemed familiar- something in the way he moved, the way Jason’s heart thundered loudly in his ears when looking at his wide blue eyes.

“-son. Jason!”

He looked up- the entire batclan was looking at him. It was Dick who had spoken, who had stepped forward with his hand held out towards Jason.

“What?”

“How are you- uh- doing, with the Joker so quiet?”

Jason waited for the familiar green rising in his vision, but instead, he only saw Danny’s eyes, looking at him with understanding as he reeled from the death of the man who killed him.

“Fine. Can I go now? I’ve got some leads to follow up on.”

B grunted from his place at the batcomputer, and Jason took that as an affirmative, slamming his hood down onto his head and mounting his bike.

Roaring out of the cave, Jason headed toward Crime Alley. His recent partnership with Penguin had curtailed some more of the drug trade in his territory, but he still needed to keep an eye out.

As he rode, he felt a stirring in his gut, leading him to take a sharp turn and drive the wrong direction. He slid to a stop in an alley behind The Iceberg, and what he saw there made green boil up in his vision.

The new singer, Siren, was being crowded up against the dingy back wall of the club.

“I said no, sir.”

“C’mon, Siren, I know you were looking at me tonight.”

“Sir, do not put your hands on me.”

“If you weren’t such a whore, you-“

Jason cocked his gun.

“You’d better leave the Siren alone, asshole.”

The asshole turned, and Jason recognized him as a frequenter of one of the brothels in his territory.

“This isn’t your turf, Hood.”

Siren slipped out from under asshole’s arm, silky smooth and seemingly unencumbered by the tight dress he wore.

“He and boss have an arrangement.”

The asshole scowled, but as Jason dismounted his bike and stood straight, he ran away, shooting one last poisonous look at Siren before the darkness of Gotham swallowed him.

“Thank you. I didn’t want him to know I’m a meta.”

Jason turned to Siren, who was looking up at him with khol-lined eyes. Blue eyes.

“Danny?”

Danny winked.

“Hi, Mr. Hood.”

The door to the Iceberg backstage opened with a slam, and a man in a black uniform stormed out.

“Siren! You- Is this man bothering you?”

“Hey Matt.” Danny stuck out a hip, placing a hand on it. “You think anyone could truly mess with me around here?”

Matt glared suspiciously at Jason.

“If you wanted them to, maybe.”

Danny laughed and then headed towards the door.

“Thanks for your help, Hood! I’ll catch you later.”

He threw a wink over his shoulder, patting Matt’s arm as he passed.

“Let’s go in, Mattie, I’ve got to ask Boss about getting better security set up back here.”

The door to the club closed behind them, and Jason meandered back to his bike, a little dazed from the interaction. If he hadn’t already come to grips with his bisexuality, he was sure he’d be having trouble coming to terms with how good Danny looked all dressed up.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t noticed Siren the first time- it’s just he had better things to think about, and pretty boys with even prettier voices were not one of those things.

But now- now that he’d met Danny, had seen vengeance for his own death paid in full, well.

Getting a date with the singer was number one on his list.

Penguin had Matt give Danny ‘the talk’. No, not about sex. About fraternizing with bats and birds.

“Red Hood’s the best of them,’ Matt said. ‘But he’s still got a bat splayed on his chest.”

Danny- well. Danny wasn’t really bothered. He had enough money saved up from his gig as the Siren, he could probably bounce from the Iceberg and find a place to live in comfort. Red Hood was hot, Danny was not blind, and he deserved a personal life.

There was also the matter of Red Hood’s half-formed core.

“Consider this though, Matt- I don’t care.”

Matt sighed and crossed his arms over his chest.

Danny leaned back on the couch in his dressing room, glitter still clinging to his neck and arms even after a shower.

“I just want you to stay safe, Danny. The boss and I both. You’re the best attraction we’ve got, and you’re a good kid too.”

Danny sat up, schooling his face into the picture of innocence.

“Thank you, Mattie, I really appreciate it.”

“You’re not going to stop seeing Hood, are you.”

With a shrug, Danny stood to pull his hoodie on and head out for the night.

“I’ll see who I want to see, Matt. Penguin doesn’t pay me to be lonely.”

Matt sighed, and Danny slipped out the door, pulling his hood over his head.

It was raining out in Gotham, so Danny took the long route back to his little apartment, deliberately jumping in puddles when there was no one looking. He was slowly coming to love the city, even though it might never truly become his haunt, his home.

The gargoyles and grotesques throughout the city made him ache for Sam, and the technology available in this world reminded him that Tucker was probably still using his old, souped up PDA.

He wondered what Tucker would do with a top-of-the-line WayneTech device. Probably marry it.

It was fine, though. He was safe, and they were safe without him. Jazz was happy in college, and Dani was content to roam the infinite realms while she stabilized.

Everything would be fine.

Ibrahim Yinsen didn’t particularly like living so near Crime Alley, but this complex was fairly nice for where it was, and his upstairs and only neighbor was nice enough. The young man worked for some club, probably as a busboy, but he worked hard from what Yinsen could tell, and he always had a smile and an inquiry about Yinsen’s cat.

Even this evening, when he ran into him at the mailboxes, his neighbor soaking wet, the boy didn’t hesitate to ask after Misha. They exchanged pleasantries, and the sopping young man handed Yinsen a cat treat before he headed up the stairs.

Ibrahim didn’t ask about the screaming during the night, even if he wanted to. He had his own nightmares, and he wouldn’t begrudge a traumatized kid. The first few nights, it had startled him awake, but after he realized what it was that his neighbor was screaming?

He got up and made cookies to leave at the young man’s door.

No one should cry out for their parents to stop- no one should try so desperately to convince their parents that they were alive, that they were really their child.

The Meta protection laws were supposed to help kids in that situation.

Unfortunately, Yinsen was with the rest of them knowing that not every case could be caught, not every child could be saved.

Danny Nightingale was one of the luckier ones.

#dp x batman #dp x dc #dp x dc fanfic #dead on main #Arctic Siren AU #OC #Jason Todd #danny phantom

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ultralightpoe · 1 year ago

Text

Carried Me With You - Jake Seresin

Authors Note: I am back, but as we all know I will probably disappear in another 3 days. Enjoy.

Word Count: 3,000 (UH HUH, EVEN BABY EVENNNNNN)

Warnings: Sad, a little family angst for y'all.

Description: Hello! The wonderful @fangirlvibez tagged me in this challenge back on September 9th and I saw it when I logged in today so you know I had to do it lovies. Thank you so much @fangirlvibez for tagging me, I am so sorry for the late reply but I hope you like it. And feel free to tag me for any more little challenges or prompts you had because I absolutely loved this one. <3

(Psst..... The song of this imagine is - Carried Me With You)

Enjoy! (pssst, song choice is -Carried Me With You- Listen and read for a top tier experience lovies.)

The Build A Bear employee looks extremely suspicious when Jake brings the empty coat of a bear up to her, a fake smile plastered from ear to ear as he holds it out as if he just ran into the woods to hunt it himself.

Honestly he was sure he looked like a massive freak, from the 20 minutes he spent looking at all the display bears to choose and up to now where he probably looked like he had been one of Jokers goons in Batman. But he couldn’t help it, he was doing his very best not to breakdown and cry in front of this poor teen.

She blinks up at him, back to the bear, and then back to him.

“This is the bear you’ve chosen?” That one question has him debating everything, eyes widening as he pulls it back to himself quickly.

“No. Yes. I have no clue.”

“Okay, cool.” The worker, a young girl decked out in the most goth punk outfit he had ever seen, smiles and moves to grab it from him. Her long black acrylic nails snag the poor pelt from his hands and she pulls it to the stuffing machine. “We have multiple hearts that you can choose from for your little buddy here. We have classic, plaid and then a beating heart. Go ahead and take a look.”

Jake nods, moving to grab one slowly before turning back to her. “You guys have sounds, right?”

“We do indeed.” She smiles, nodding her head to show him the sound station. “Go ahead and pick or make a sound.”

She turns back to fix one of the spikes on her boots as he does so, rushing over to start recording the sound. The little script he wrote that morning on a sticky note was hard to read but he managed it, making sure to use that southern drawl he knew his baby girl loved before coming back to the stuffing station and handing it to her.

“Alright, do we want our little buddy to be firm or plush?”

“I think…. How about firm?”

“Sounds great, and let’s go ahead and bless the heart while I’m doing this. First I’m going to have you rub your head so our buddy is smart. Perfect, now lets rub our belly so our buddy always has a good appetite. Awesome. Don’t forget to rub your knees so your furry friend always kneeds you. Jump up and down to get the heart beating and rub it against your heart so they always know how much you love them. And lastly close your eyes, make a wish and give it a kiss.”

Jake follows her word for word, going with the ceremony even though he knows it’s for kids. And when he closes his eyes he wishes ‘Keep my babies safe and happy’ before kissing the heart and handing it to her. She ties the bear up and hands him off, the teddy looking straight into Jake’s eyes as he walks off to find it a cute little outfit.

By the time he makes it to the register Jake has the bear in a little naval outfit, hat and all, and the worker is grabbing the birth certificate from the printer with narrowed eyes.

As she rings out the clothes he watches her closely, heart beating against his rib cage each step of the way. She was very goth, from the badass makeup to the spiky hair and spiky collar, not to mention the huge boots. It was like wednesday adams went punk and then got a job as Build A Bear as a joke.

Then she turned to expose the backpack holding the pink stuffed animal decked out in rainbow and he couldn’t help but laugh. “What’s her name?”

“Cannibal, but when the kids ask Cami.”

“Cami the Cannibal, I love it.”

She finishes ringing everything up, raising an eyebrow. “Bugs?”

“Oh, yeah. It’s for my darlin’. You see I call her mom ‘Bubs’ and I call her ‘Bugs’.” Jake explains, whipping out his card as she begins dressing the bear.

“This is for your daughter? How old is she turning?”

“Oh, it’s not for her birthday. I’m being deployed so this is my….. Something she has of me while I am gone.”

Her face goes slack and she blinks at him before shaking her head. “How old is your daughter?”

“Four.”

“Then I’m saying this is a birthday bear. You only have to pay how old you’re turning for the bear.”

He thanks her, and before he knows it he is buckling Bugs into the backseat and driving home to see his two girls.

Bugs sits at the top of your closet for the next 5 weeks, you both break the news to your daughter four weeks out. She begs him not to leave and you let her sleep in your bed to try and soothe her tears.

She sleeps in your bed every night after that.

2 weeks out Jake’s mother throws a going away party for him, your daughter cries the entire time.

Then the time came.

Jake woke earlier than you, desperate to let you both get a little more sleep as he shuffled into the shared closet and reached up to find the box that held bugs. Dusting the bear off and making sure he looked good before moving to set it in the living room by his deployment bags.

He kisses both your foreheads before jumping in the shower and getting dressed into his uniform. His throat is tight and his eyes burn but he does his best to keep it together, by the time he is dressed and ready to go he finds both of you sitting in the living room crying softly.

You are doing your best to stop the tears, and Jake feels something shatter in his chest at the sight before the blur of the four year old is dashing to him.

“Please don’t go.” She sobs, hands gathering the fabric of his uniform as he swipes the tears from her cheeks.

“Easy now, Bugs. I’ll be back. It’ll be okay.”

“Please don’t go daddy! Tell them you can’t go!” From the corner of his eyes he sees you shuffling closer with the box, and he nods, reaching a hand out for the bear.

“Daddy needs you to do something for me, okay bugs?” The tears are falling freely now as she shoves her forehead into his chest. He has to pull her back a bit so she sees the bear. “This? This is my friend Bugs, and Bugs is very very important to me. You wanna know why?”

“Why?”

“Because Bugs promised to take care of you for me. And he is gonna do a great job of it. But I need you to keep Bugs with you so he can do that. Yeah?”

She shakes her head at first, sobbing loudly as he kisses at her forehead, before her hands reach out to pull the bear to her.

12 minutes later you are holding her in your arms, crying as Jake gives you both one more kiss and heads out to the truck, waving as he pulls the car out even if he feels his heart shattering in his own chest.

You keep y/d home for the day, making her mac and cheese for lunch ans trying to play all her favorite movies in an attempt to cheer her up a bit. Nothing seems to work and she sobs all day, not that you were much better.

By the time you are ready to tuck her in your eyes hurt from the amount of crying you had done and you felt drained and dehydrated. But nonetheless you hold your daughters hand as she shuffles into her room where Bugs now sat on the bed.

You dress her in one of Jakes soft shirts for pajamas, tucking her into the blanket softly and rubbing her cheek.

“Daddy always is here to say goodnight too.” She cries and you nod slowly, reaching for the bear.

“You really think he would forget?” You smile softly, pinching the bear's paw.

Jake’s southern voice rings out, a little frazzled out but there nonetheless.

“The sun is setting in the sky.

Let's light the moon and bring it high.

The shimmering stars sparkle and twinkle.

I work out my wiggles as stardust I sprinkle.

The tree stands tall as the owl hoots.

I send all my worries right down through my roots.

A moonlit lake, as I sit on the shore.

Reflects three things that I am grateful for.

With my hands on my heart, love is swirling around me.

So I send it out to my friends and family.

As I lie down I breathe one, two, three.

And feel the love come back to me.

Goodnight Bugs.”

She curls around the bear, sobbing loudly as you kiss her head. Truly not knowing how to fix this.

Three months later, you are holding her hand as she leads you through the mall, Bugs wrapped tightly in her other arm.

She had played the sound so much that it sort of stopped working and instead of the entire poem all the bear truly said now was ‘Goodnight Bugs’. But that would have to do for now.

You had done so many emergency surgeries on the bear since she refused to leave him behind. The poor thing had barely survived the kindergarten recess debacle before her teacher had to cut in and take the bear from her and the kid who had been wrestling to steal it.

She had come home that day a blubbering mess until you sewed the arm back on and she kissed it better.

She had taken Bugs to the daddy donut day her school ran, and though she still her her grandpa there that day you were eternally grateful she had that bear.

But Jake’s birthday was coming up, and you knew it would be rough on her no matter how many facetime calls he managed to sneak in. So you had asked what she wanted to do for his birthday.

Which leads you here, staring at all the bear options in front of you as she tries to figure out which one she wants..

There was a goth girl waiting at the stuffing station, and you couldn’t figure out if she was glaring or trying to recognize you.

“How about this one, bugs?” You ask, showing her the stitch before she shakes her head and snatches a brown bear.

“It’s got to look cool mom.” Another milestone that you were positive Jake was devastated about. While he was away it had gone from daddy and mommy to dad and mom. It wasn’t much of a difference but it still made your chest ache every time she called you it.

Before you know it she has snatched a bear and dashed to the sound station, not bothering to see if you would follow.

By the time you make it to the stuffing station you are doing your best not to cry, handing the girl the sound and the bear as she smiles.

“I see we have a bear, is this going to be his buddy?”

“YES!” Your daughter smiles, bouncing on her feet as you move to grab Bugs.

“How about I hold this so you can create him. Yeah?”

She reluctantly lets go, moving to pick a heart as the girl asks about the pressure.

“I want him so soft that you can squeeze all the love!” Y/d giggles and you can’t help but smile at that. The worker smiles to, her black lipstick making it all more of a victory. “I like your bear, what’s her name?”

“Cami.” The worker smiles and y/d shakes her head. “No?”

“No, how about….destroyer?”

“Oh, I like the way you think. Okay now touch the heart to your toes so your furry friend is ‘toe’tally awesome. Great job. Touch the heart to your knees so he always ‘knee’ds you. Good good. Now rub the heart between your hands so he always stays warm, don’t forget to rub your ears so he always hears you. And Now your eyes so he always sees you. Now rub your heart so he always has love and jump up and down three times to get that heart beating.”

Y/d does everything with a huge smile lathered on her face, and the worker has the same excited smile on her own.

“Now I need you to close you eyes and make a wish before you kiss the heart.”

She does as told, squeezing her eyes shut before saying ‘Make sure my dad is happy.”

And then the workers face falls into one of recognition, her eyes casting to the bear now held in your hand and back to the one she had been stuffing.

By the time you have an outfit picked out she already has the certificate in her hands, nodding.

“Bubs. I like it.”

“Thank you. It’s what my dad and mom call each other.” Your daughter smiles, standing on her tiptoes to look up to the worker.

“Let me guess, your bugs.”

“I AM!” And just like that a wide smile is splitting across her cheeks as she slides the bear across the counter to your side.

“It’s your lucky day. This bear is a part of the lonely hearts foundation. Which means so long as he is adopted into a happy and loving home he comes with no charge. Are you happy, bugs?”

“Yes.”

“Are you healthy, bugs?”

“I eat my broccoli, yeah.” You try not to snort, remembering that you had to bribe her with 6 oreos after a 2 hour dinner table stand off.

“Then Bubs has found the perfect home.” You mouth a thank you to the girl as you leave, giving your daughter bugs back so you can carry the box.

Jake Seresin was absolutely miserable the day he got his birthday package.

He was sweaty from the jets, irritated by his team. But most importantly he was completely lost without his girls.

It had been four months since he last got to hold them and he was beginning to lose it. Sure, he got to facetime them which was a lot more then some of the other guys but he missed them terribly and he wanted nothing more than to be with them.

He had gotten an extra thirty minutes of call time on his birthday a week ago, to which you had promised him you sent something out before y/d interrupted with a sassy tone “don’t ruin the surprise for dad, mom.”

He tried not to get upset at the dad part, but he couldn’t help it. He left while his bug called him daddy and stil had the chubbiest baby cheeks in town and now his little darlin’ was growing up and he couldn’t actually see it.

But you had told him to expect the package and he did, finally a week later it was mail day and he sat on his bunk surrounded by his squad as they tore through letters. He sliced the tape of the box open, lifting the lid to reveal the cutest bear dressed in a texan jersey with glasses that reminded him of BOB.

A laugh slips from his lips as he reaches to pull the bear to his chest, noting the cotton candy scent before his eyes snag on the letter.

“Dear Bubs,

This bear was sent out with a promise to keep. He promised both me and your daughter that he would keep you happy and healthy and bring you home to us. We made him knowing that only the bravest of bears could do this task and we made sure he was stocked up for the flight over. In the box he took your favorite candies. A stack of photos and a really cool beaded bracelet your daughter made at school. He was given a cotton candy scent to help block off the stuffy scent from the box but most importantly, he carries a top secret message that not even I was allowed to listen to.

We hope Bubs takes care of you until you are allowed back into our arms, until then stay safe and don’t forget we love you.

Love, Your bubs.”:

There is a little monster drawn on the paper in crayon that makes his heart swell as he traces his fingers over the words and drawing before reaching to the bear.

He lays with it as a pillow, pressing his cheek to the chest as he presses the hand to reveal the sound.

His daughter's voice fills his ears, in the cheesiest southern accent he had ever heard. “I breathe one two three and feel the love come back to me. Good night daddy.”

The next set of photos you receive in the mail are all photos of Jake and Bubs on journeys, and Y/D’s favorite was the one of the entire squad posing with bubs. Bob and the bear having switched glasses.

You, of course, begin sending adventures back. One of Bugs and your daughter baking, another of the two on a swing set.

Jake sends back a photo of Bubs ‘flying’ a plane.

Over and over you both send the photos back and forth, everything is a little bit better when you carry a piece of each other with them.

Your daughter asks you at dinner one night, between shoving her chicken in her face and avoiding the broccoli, if you had wanted a bug and bubs bear.

All you can do is smile, booping her nose as you mumble. “You were my bear last time he was deployed.”

“What did you send him?”

“A pee stick.” She doesn’t find it as funny as you did, but she makes sure to have bugs kiss your cheek goodnight before dashing to bed.

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