#that's why ir is not canon
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Can you please tell me why, why Ichiruki makes sense, outside of Kubo just forcing them? Isn't it out of character for Ichigo to go after Orihime? I just found out (because I dropped Bleach before the novels came out) that Rukia is the one that asked to marry Renji? Is that right? Why would she do that? I can't wrap my head around any of this but I know Kubo was writing out of spite.
I just can't believe decades of beauty thrown away. Kubo PUSHED Ichiruki and he had to have had them as endgame in his heart. I guess I need a reason for it other than Kubo just throwing it all away.
I know Rukia loved Ichigo and he loved her back. This wasn't solely platonic.
Ichiruki were such a beautiful powerful ship. I adored Rukia and she deserved Ichigo, I almost would take Rukia with anyone other than Renji. I will never forgive him leaving her alone for 40 years in her worse pain.
Thank you.
I'm sorry but I can't say much about the novels because I didn't bother to ever read them after the ending I just would not touch anything about it, novels made to excuse it included. I don't think tho Rukia asked Renjo to marry her, never heard about it, so I pretty much get it's a fake info.
About why Kub0 didn't make ichiruki canon in the end after everything he wrote about them, after making Ichigo's parents story a bunch of copy/pasted ichiruki monents, after still making the last chapter about "death and strawberry" we'll never know. Did he think it was more "original"? Shocking? Made sense? Who knows, everything could be, even out of spite vecause his serie fell down in the rankings. What I know it's that novels, interviews and still today questions upon questions have to be made to explain, excuse and make damage control over it.
What I also know is that it's 2023 and that makes 22 years he still doesn't show his love for the canon pairs by making official, pretty colored art of them, or 6 years since he never bothered to show love for the family he created for them and he ha countless chances to do so. What we got is a one shot where he says Ichigo, Rukia and many faves will go to hell. That's Bl3ach Happy ending style <3
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Dick as Damian's third parent while also having bad parent Talia: stale, boring, relies on poor characterization of Talia. Yawn.
Dick as Damian's third parent with good mom Talia except Dick and Talia still hate each other: beautiful, talented, show stopping, never been done before, etc. They take Damian out for a day and constantly try to out do eachother in who can be the most fun. Dick takes him to the circus except the high wire act is actually the two of them doing an old Flying Grayson's routine. Talia takes him to the arcade and buys the cabinet for his favourite game right there on the spot (also she's surprisingly good at DDR. Dick gets demolished in a match with her). Damian's torn bc on the one hand he knows they're both losing themselves in the competition instead of just being in the moment with him but on the other hand. Richard and Mother are taking him to his favourite Lebanese restaurant where they plan to buy him an all you can eat buffet bc Talia thought he looked thin and Dick agreed bc he knows Bruce can't cook good meals for shit. So who is he to deny them their whims?
#dc comics#damian wayne#dick grayson#talia al ghul#good mom talia#walk with me. live in this beautiful world with me#why must we chose between good mom talia and father-brother dick? porque no los dos?#in all seriousness this is inspired by my ire at fans describing this interpretation of dick and damian as being 'fanon'#in the name of defending talias honour when like. it's canon. it's just canon. nightwing issues 16-20 show us this#obviously there's a fanonized version of that dynamic (that i am not immuned to. i love schmoopy affection okay?)#AND a version of that dynamic used to disparage talia but like. not in a way i find unique? it's used w/ bruce and damian too#and i think these versions of the characters can and should coexist. dick and talia in their get along shirt for the sake of their baby boy#<- said baby boy is a highschool freshman and fully taking advantage of the situation
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smth i see a lot and not just in this fandom is the discourse when it comes to sexuality headcanons
they’re headcanons for a reason. they aren’t canon. i hate seeing people argue like “oh darry’s gay!” “darry’s straight!” “soda’s straight!” etc etc like it’s a HEADcanon. if you don’t like the way someone headcanons, block and move on.
this fandom lowk feels toxic like that sometimes. like you don’t have to agree with everything everyone says but you also don’t ave to be a major dick about it
#i know i’m playing with ire lol#that’s why i tend to stick to posting about the gang and stuff#but idk i just felt like this had to be said#like for exvmple darry being gay isn’t canon like sure a majority of people headcanon him as such but it’s toxic when ppl get rabid about i#nobody said they disagreed w your hcs because they dislike gay people lol#it’s so gatekeepy in a way like ugh#that’s why i stay clear and far away from shipping tbh idk#the outsiders#it feels toxic to a level#idk i feel like i shouldn’t feel scared when posting that i disagree with some of y’all’s headcanons and i would hate to see people be afra#<- to disagree with mine
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sasamiya's conversations about hirano are so surreal in retrospect "my ideal gay bottom is tall and manly" "oh you mean like my good friend hirano" hello boys what the hell#?#!#?
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Rate all Lunar ships
oh that's pretty easy- I honestly only really even kind of care about one Lunar ship
Lunar x Sun: 2/10, only because I've seen it written where they arnt brothers and it can be interesting
Lunar x Nexus: 0/10
Lunar x Moon: 0/10
Lunar x Earth: -10/10
Lunar x Eclipse: 5/10, only because Zee and Alex have ranted about it enough times-
Lunar x Solar: 1/10, same with the sun one
Lunar x Gemini: 7/10, has a lot of potential. I donf like how its portrayed in the show but with the characters personalities it could be really cute
So uh- yeah
Edit: HELP I FORGOT TO POST THIS THIS MORNING LMAO, I WROTE IT OUT AND FORGOT TO POST IT
#astro rants#woo asks!!#Tsams ships#Tsams lunar#Lunar x sun#Lunar x moon#Lunar x nexus#Lunar x Earth#Lunar x eclipse#Lunar x solar#Lumini#Lunar x Gemini#Cw incest#ONLY because people may get uncomfortable because canonically they see each other as siblings#But im not doing this with the lense of them being siblings at all!!#Well- i am that's why everyone's but Gemini is so low#But irs more in the context of “i see them as siblings so -5 for all of those even if they're decent outside of siblings” kind of way-#.. If that makes sense-#Idk its not incest I dont support incest I never ship things in the context of incest so-
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i literally don't understand people that get pissed off abt romantic madwheeler. who gives a fuck lol jesus christ
#first off weve got bigger fish to fry. the top ships on st ao3 are steddie harringrove and byler. this is a plauge#second off its not a hqrmful ship. like irs legit just some guy and some girl. WHO CARES!!!!#also no offense but i just dont trust some of yalls opinions about them as seperate entities so why wojld i losten to y about their pairing#and also some od u lowkey need to hear this but theyre not sibling esque. not even sibling goals.#you see i used to believe that but then i grew a fuckimg brain#like. in canon. they...arenot sibling vibes. sorry to dissapoint#also theyre cute!!! damn!!!#madwheeler#stranger things#sorry guys for anger posting on main#love you all#:3#ans this is not me haying on platonic madwheeler i lobe that too esp canon wise#but like...damn...can a girl not have fanon fun. what happened to fanon fun
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every time I add eyes on literally anything I have to look at it for two seconds and go “why tf do they look asian” before whipping out transform and liquify tool
#literally why I draw so many masks#perpetually scared to tackle faces that are canonically accurate bc i#can’t#but this literally always happens and I don’t fucking know why#they look like they could be my relatives in a different multiverse#art#artist struggles#call of duty#ph(f)ires pointless proclamations.txt
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People need to stop making Rhaenicent if they were canon edits, it's killing me 😭😭😭😭😭
#i read a fic right after s1 ended#canon divergence of them if they had gotten along better#them being the power couple ruling after viserys died#and laenor and his bf happily coexisting#and man......it just murdered me bcs im like why cant this be the show im watching instead 😭😭#i love hotd a lot and i like what it is#but imagine an au show of lesbian queens 😔#funny bcs theres the whole divergence in the fandom btwn book readers and non book readers#being like 'they changed this too much!!!' vs 'i dont care bcs the show is better off for it' etc etc#and then me in the corner playing with dolls making them kiss#i actually really like that the show makes their relationship less black/white than it seems to be in the book#i like that they keep having these moments where you can sense reconciliation#but ir just doesnt happen#but it also does make me mourn for what an interesting gl show that could be#lmfao not that im like THEY SHOULD DISREGARD THE CANON ENTIRELY#but more that this is a ship thats so good in canon to me that i desperately wanna see a show abt it#aaaaghhhhh god damn it i never feel this way about ships 😭 this is why i never ship f/f most of the time#anyways. yeah. 😭 people keep making edits/aus and it kills me#can someone please hire emma d'arcy and olivia cooke and make a rip-off fantasy gl drama of hotd? thanks#catie.rambling.txt
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pop quiz who's darkstalker
there is nothing, and i mean Nothing, a kid loves more than being asked "what do you know about dragons." if you're stuck with a kid between the ages of four and nine ask them about dragons and you will have them going for at least an hour. nod sagely as they tell you that red dragons breathe fire and blue dragons breathe ice. take notes. depending on the kid you could replace this with fairies, mermaids, etc. but dragons is usually a safe bet.
#alternaticely: what is the scorching#ir who's clearsight#or freedom#these are some of the most integral characters in all of wof canon#freedom especially#she's why literally everything happened#by the way#reblog#existenceunrelateds#you dont know shit
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Why is no one talking about how shit the WWDITS ending was I just watched it and I've not seen a more anticlimactic, unsatisfying and disappointing ending in. Forever. Especially disappointing because I have enjoyed this show so much :/
#what we do in the shadows#its not even just like#nandermo not being canon or anything#like. the ending just feels so rushed#none of the implications of anything are explored#they end on fucking DEREK?#the plot just doesn't wrap up in any even remotely satisfying way#like ok nando and guillermo love each other even if they dont make out like its pretty clear if never explicitly stated#(though i think it's VALID ro be disappointed about it because irs very ambiguous btw)#but the whole finale was just. ehh#i cant even explain why it just felt empty. aimless. it felt lkje the episode should have had at least 10 more minutes but suddenly its ove#i liked most of the season so the last part of the last episode being so underexplored sucks
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it’s canon to me that anakin skywalker and marshall commander fox are archnemeses of a shakespearean nature to eachother
why? well, fox’ life is a tragedy of galactic proportions. he’s a slave at best and straight up non-sentient property at worst, caught at the crossroads of being the face of the republic’s most corrupt establishment to his brothers who resent him for being forced to bear an authority he has no actual control over, and being the closest and easiest target for that very authority’s ire. made to enforce the rigged and deeply unjust laws against his own oppressed peoples, and no one understands better than fox how much coruscant truly despises them. the chancellor at the heart of it all, and anakin, the favored pupil - taken in by the flattery and empty promises like all the rest of them, the jedi most intimately connected to the senate who yet cares so little to know the clones who shed their blood in it every day that he never sees beyond his own very nose. no one asks the guard what they think, and fox despises them all for it, but the jedi who play at caring more than anything. it’s an impersonal, distanced dislike for the most part, but with skywalker it burns all the brighter for how often fox sees him walk the halls of the senate and never think to ask.
also fox cut anakin off in traffic once and he never forgave him for it
#commander fox#to be clear this is neither an anakin nor jedi hatepost#i just think the dynamic of genuine deeprooted existential hate vs petty fury that burns with the power of a thousand suns is so funny#also i love this flavor of hc about the guard: they live in a lovecraftian horror show which everyone else perceives as like the office#like imagine you’re watching michael scott shenanigans but to him there’s blood oozing out of the walls and formless shadows whispering in a#language that makes his eyeballs burn and sizzle like acid#i firmly believe fox to be extremely unimpressed with most jedi on principle but not in a like hateful way more like a disillusioned way#fox does not believe in clone rights because fox has lived on this hellhole for three years and knows how these fuckers work#bail organa is one of the very few people he likes on a personal level but any talk of clone rights bills just make him laugh#‘have you met your colleagues sir? because i have’#‘and we’ll all be throwing birthday parties in sith hell by the time they agree to that on moral principle’#‘or well you will be throwing tea parties in sith hell i’m not sentient so no afterlife’#i also believe anakin and fox would be fast friends if they ever actually spoke#to the detriment and danger of everyone around them to be clear
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I love how @jenumarts and I became friends JUST because of this.
Spamton Headcanons?
Mine:
Spamton texts like a scammer. Bad English and grammar.
If Spamton calls anybody, it's "Scam Likely."
Handwriting? Ass. So skribly.
He's 3 feet and 6 inches because ventriloquist dummy height.
His email is still something like [email protected] because he was one of the Addisons.
Might add more, but what are your guy's headcanons?
#haha who cares about 2 inches anyway? (that's what she said)#i like the motor gel thing (big shot autos and that makes sense) and i have seen it too#it sounds cool but would stink hella bad#WHY IS EVERYBODY I SEE AUTISTIC THESE DAYS??? wait i think i might be neurodivergent nvm#i'm not much for ships or stuff like that so no spamton/jevil for me#he is canonically pansexual (because he would literally date anybody who gives him money)#i love the pepsi thing! that's so unique and i'm stealing that#uh is it not normal to chew on nonedible things?#i've been known to even ingest highlighters and pen ink and i chew on metal cans which is probably not good#i chewed on shirts and hair when i was really young too so...#kinda addicted to eating the little graphite things in the pencils#honestly might have pica as that is way under-the-top to what i do and always did like hello people don't like eating sand???#well thanks for letting me figure out that i might have pica and i totally agree spamton would have something like that#anyway the same thing that i'm not much for ships or flirting so no spamton/swatch for me either idk#of course he owns the IRS money! he probably owns everybody he ever met money and he totally commits tax fraud
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Rings of Power is Insidiously Sexist
And I’m tired of pretending none of us can see it.
If you enjoy the show, please don’t take this as an attack on you. All media has problematic elements and we all do the best we can in a messed up world. My ire is reserved strictly for the people making these “creative” choices.
The way the show treats Galadriel is misogynistic.
Turning the kind, matronly sage imbued with divine wisdom by the light of the two trees into a naive, selfish hothead who gets ship baited with both the villain AND her son-in-law for titillation is incredibly sexist.
They wouldn’t have had Elrond kiss his father-in-law to “save” him. Everyone would’ve rightfully been disgusted. So why is it okay to do this to Galadriel?
Elrond wouldn’t kiss Gil-Galad, or Celebrimbor, or his bff Durin to “save” them. We would all recognize this as sloppy OOC writing just meant to stir up shippers. So why is it acceptable to do to Galadriel? Being a female character is not an invitation to use her as fan service ship bait. Not once but TWICE.
The way the score swells and the kiss is deep and framed as romantic (even though he’s handing her something and didn’t need to shove himself on her like that at all!), despite the fact that Galadriel is married and elves are by nature monogamous (so much so that forcing yourself on them can even KILL them). As if everything about the narrative framing is subconsciously telling you to ignore Galadriel’s POV and the discomfort she would be feeling and be moved by how “meaningful” this kiss is. But also it’s a deception so don’t get mad! So incredibly transparent.
The fact that they also made her an arrogant idiot that fell for Sauron’s manipulations, when in Tolkien’s canon she is described as one of first to see through him, is also a telling choice. Especially when it would’ve made more sense to have Celebrimbor be the one manipulated and fooled.
So why have it be Galadriel? Why not do their weird ship-teasing bullshit between Annatar and Celebrimbor? At least it might serve the story then.
It’s because she is “female elf”, and therefore she has to be mean, violent, selfish, and stupid. But she isn’t allowed to be criticized either! That’s their idea of a “strong” female character.
So yeah. Personally I find that incredibly sexist.
So for that, I rate ROP a big old “cast it into the fire”.
#Rop#rings of power#lotr#lord of the rings#galadriel#elrond#annatar#halbrand#sauron#the silmarilion#tolkien legendarium
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(This me rambling, feel free to ignore and lesson 16 spoilers! ^^; hi hello btw!)
I wanna see MC sometimes staying at Purgatory Hall and the Demon Lord's Castle more often as an escape to truly relax and maybe see the brothers try to overcome some of their struggles in their own, even if it's just a bit, if not for them, then for MC who has done so much, maybe even too much, for them, y'know?
Lesson 16 was quite the turning point, but not a lot of things changed. I wanna see before and afters with everyone. I wanna see angst where everyone is trying to be normal (maybe because MC is trying to be normal), but when the slightest thing goes wrong, they all flinch to shield MC or something. The smallest smell of vlood after chopping up food for dinner? Flashback to lesson 16. MC being too cold? Mammon flashes back. Belphie standing over MC (holding blankets or just so happen to be there for some reason)? Levi is holding his breath.
But at the same time, i want to see MC flinch from Lucifer. Before Belphie, Lucifer was going to hurt MC or worse, and he did it the most and has succeeded in hurting MC the most out of the brothers. I want to see MC hold their breath anytime he gets angry but is completely calm with Satan. I wanna see MC's shoulders tense while helping with paperwork alone with him but be completely fine with doing the same with Diavolo. I wanna see Mammon acting as like a bridge between the two.
Everyone is so creative on how they write lesson 16 but i don't see a lot of "after the lesson" ones. I always wondered, if their MC went through that (assuming if they made ir canon in their MC's story), what changed, if at all?
Phantom Pain
First oneshot of Scars, Wounds and Minor Inconveniences: a oneshot series featuring slice-of-life snapshots of the aftermath of Lesson 16. Naturally, features spoilers for OG Obey Me! up until that point. Each oneshot will have an associated headcannons post, which will be linked when it goes up!
(thank you to @kittylilyheart for inspiring what will now be a oneshot series dedicated to everyday life in the aftermath of lesson 16, because there's just so many characters in this series with so many things you can write for each. they gave so many interesting examples in their submitted idea; so I'll be including some and incorporating my own. If you have an idea for something related to Obey Me! or Obey Me! Nightbringer that you'd like me to put to writing, please read the rules pinned to this blog before submitting to the blog's inbox!)
_
It’s like pins and needles, starting at your neck and running down your back. Mammon sees you arch your back oddly as you go to knock on the door to the Demon Lord’s castle; and immediately knows.
“Hey, hey.” He says as he bumps his shoulder into yours, fingers touching your sleeve. Even though he’s seen this a bunch of times, he never really knows what to do. “Ya, uh. Ya got the needles-thing again?”
“Yeah. Ugh, why now?” You groan through gritted teeth, waiting for the feeling to subside. Both you and Mammon were used to this, episodes happening every now and then. Temporary bouts of phantom pain down your back and sides, where arms had hugged you and…
Dwelling wouldn’t help. And besides; they barely inconvenienced you. You sat down and pressed your back against a nearby wall.
“Don’t do that. What are ya doin’?”
“It feels better when I put my back against something hard and flat.” You state matter-of-factly, never breaking eye contact as you slowly slide down. He looks more confused. You grin. "As long as Beel hasn't got his fifth dinner on it, the kitchen table is nice, too."
“Weird humans…” Mammon mutters disapprovingly, but he sits beside you to wait it out. His head flops to one side, cheek resting on your head, as he makes the ever-so-cliché show of pretending to stretch his arm above his head, over yours… and, eventually, around your shoulders. You snort as his fingers fidget, figuring he just doesn’t know where to place them. They first settle on your chest, lingering over where your heart beats. Then, they scurry up to your collarbone and settle on your pulse point. He presses around a little, as if searching. Then, with a satisfied hum, he leans back against the wall, too.
“I think it’s going away, now. Mams. Hey, Mams.” You shake his arm a few minutes later. He blushes at your willing contact (as if he hadn’t been holding you close this whole time) and the cutesy nickname, but shuffles back to give you space to stand. Though not before checking your back first, touching the back of his hand to the skin between your shoulder blades, which your outfit exposes. Because you’d been leaning on a metal wall, your skin is cold.
He freezes. Your skin, cold. Your lips, not breathing. The slight red from where his hand had pressed against you has a slightly red flush. Red - red, just like it had been when -
He makes a show of dusting off your shoulders, one hand curling its fingers just enough to press a little more around your neck pulse point.
He hums again, satisfied. Then, the sheer amount of touching you that he’s done today hits him - and he turns his head to the side with a not-so-subtle cough.
“Y-Yeah, okay. Good. Let’s knock, then.” Mammon straightens and flashes you one of his signature grins. You notice it wobbles a little, but you attribute that to the adorably-dramatic cough he was forcing out of his throat just moments earlier. “If we get back late, Lucifer’ll think we’re slackin.”
“We can’t stay longer? Lord Diavolo said in his letter that I can work at the castle for as long as I like.” You pout. Secretly, your heartbeat gets a little faster; you swore you read the letter correctly. You look at Mammon hopefully, avoiding looking at the path behind you; which was starting to look awfully short. “I thought we were getting back after Lucifer goes out tonight.”
Mammon raises an eyebrow. “Ya wanna stay that long? It’s dangerous out. It’s safer with Lucifer around. ” He protests worriedly - but catches himself quickly. “W-Well. Not that I can’t protect ya… But everyone’s at home, too! The more people around, the better the protectin'!”
“Mammon -”
“Mammon is probably right, MC." Suddenly, you hear a voice behind you. "Though, I admit - I hadn't thought about that when I wrote the letter requesting your visit.”
The two of you jump. You and Mammon immediately find each others’ hands, and whip around to face the source of the voice. Mammon is already stepping forward, stretching his arm in front of you protectively... when he sees who it is.
“Lord… Geez, Lord Diavolo. Barbatos.” He nervously chuckles, stepping back. “We were literally just about to knock. Warn a guy next time, why don’t’cha?”
“No worries, Mammon. Sorry for startling you.” Diavolo offers apologetically. He nods in acknowledgement to you. “Hello there, MC. Lucifer may worry too much if he doesn’t see you before leaving the House, so it may be best for him to see you’re safe and sound, first.”
You look up slowly at the Crown Prince of the Devildom. The prince’s demon butler stands just behind his liege, almost blending into the shadows. They look so… tall. So towering. You don’t register the words that come out of your mouth.
“Oh, u-uh. Okay, then. I’ll help with some RAD event planning, then leave. early”
Mammon gives you a look, shuffling closer and bumping his shoulder into yours, again. “Oi, human, are you sure? I thought earlier you said -”
“I’ll do what Lord Diavolo, said. It’s probably for a reason.” You reply nonchalantly as Barbatos steps forward and unlocks the front door. You can see the hallway as it creaks open and it’s dark. It reminds you of a room you had woken up in when you were pulled from your home with no warning. It reminds you of winding stairs that had lead up to an attic, with a shadowy figure waiting behind a locked door. It was the home of two people who, try as you might, you could never, ever say no to.
Was it fear? You didn’t think so, you could talk to them pretty easily. Agree with them, easily.
Was it hatred? Not that either. You knew Mammon appreciates them for their part in saving you, so you guess you do, too.
You think of the phantom pain from earlier, then think that the darkness of the castle hallway looks a lot more inviting than dwelling on painful memories and difficult questions. So you let your feet follow Diavolo and Barbatos into the castle, laughing when Diavolo fondly tussles Mammon’s hair and enthusiastically piping up with ideas when Barbatos lists off the upcoming events to be held by the student council at RAD.
Mammon does hang back a little at first, though; wondering why you disapproved of his idea when he said it - but then agreed so readily when Diavolo did. But Diavolo did help you with the whole Belphie situation. And he was grateful Diavolo had you brought to the Devildom at all. So he follows you and thinks nothing of it.
And you follow Barbatos and Diavolo. Listening to their every word, like it was instinct. Like you didn’t really have a choice. Just like you didn't have when they had saved you.
Just like you had no choice when they had first brought you here.
(first chapter of the blog's very first series! this was pretty interesting and challenging to write as i really didn't want anything sad or angsty; just the same tone as my other slice-of-life stuff but with little pangs of hurt from the habits that the characters pick up after the belphie incident. i'd like to think that mc and the obm cast actually do recover pretty quickly from lesson 16, but not for the reason of forgiving each other easily, which i'll get to in later chapters. in this case, mc gets along well with dia and barb out of trust for them saving them, but also because they've always taken the reigns on their fate anyway.)
#obey me#obey me headcanons#obey me shall we date#obey me writing#obey me mc#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me angst#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me lesson 16#lesson 16#lesson 16 aftemath#lesson 16 angst
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Realized. Jyn Guerrera
A more niche opinion I guess I have is that jyn might easily take Cassian’s surname (maybe even before they’re romantically involved) due to the realities of how tightly the Erso name has now been tied to, y’know, the Death Star, and what a liability it might be to walk around as an erso in the rebellion. And she’d rather be Andor than carry a false placeholder name again when she’s spent so long as a wanderer erasing herself from the world
#I haven’t seen this in any aus ir fics and was like: wait#also consider: it’s a tradition on lyra’s home planet for husbands to take their wives names#(eg why Galen Walton -> Galen erso)#which makes both jyn and cassian the Guerreras#mon mothma is appalled#also following andor canon allows him a surname that isn’t guerrera y’know#This is going for assuming very Anglo patriarchal naming traditions though like who knows what they do in space#I just personally do not think jyn has much attachment to her biological fathers legacy and that’s that
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Idea: Reader is part of the scooby gang (an adult doing them a favour or something - pls not a teenager it makes me cringe) and Klaus catches her staring (because obviously) and is cocky and flirty and likes riling her up
i just like you | klaus mikaelson
author's note; this was so fun omfg i love him sm
warnings: honestly sort of grumpyxsunshine but somehow klaus is the sunshine here ? teasing, taunting, klaus is a flirty menace, reader is super in denial, implied that reader is a vampire hunter but it's not really important, also this exists in some sort of strange canon universe so don't read into it too much, fluff, making out, a steamy-ish scene at the end, but it doesn't get too graphic so don't worry! no use of y/n!
She doesn’t like owing people favors. She doesn’t like when other people owe her favors, either, but people seem to think that trading things off is the best way to live, and she’s hardly got the power to change something so universally accepted.
She doesn’t like owing people favors, but in this case, it’s not something she can renegotiate. Alaric saved her life, and the least she could do is help him out with something.
Her view on that changes very quickly when he looks at her and tells her they want her to make a deal with the devil. In fact, she’d rather Alaric had just let her die than ask her to do anything with or for Klaus Mikaelson.
“I would quite literally rather die than do that, Ric,” She deadpans, givin him a completely unamused look that makes him grimace.
“No, I know, I know,” He holds his hands up, a desperation to his pleading tone. “It’s a lot to ask of you, but no one else can deal with him like you do. They’d end up dead, or something,”
“Why do you think I can deal with him any differently than you, or Damon, or something? I hate him just as much!”
“Oh, well, that’s just not very nice of you, darling,” The man in question drawls, smirk audible in his voice as they look over to where he’s sitting on Alaric’s couch, looking like he practically lives there. She supposes he technically did, for a minute. “Hate is such a strong word.”
She gives him a saccharine smile, tilting her head. “I’m so sorry, Klaus, did I hurt your feelings? I didn’t know that evil hybrids who kill anyone who breathes wrong could have feelings.”
Klaus’s smirk only widens at her visible ire, and he props his chin up on his hand as he looks at her. “I have every feeling for you, sweetheart,”
Her eyes momentarily widen to the size of dinner plates, and then she quickly schools her expression back into a flat glare, snapping her gaze away from him as she huffs unhappily. “You want me to deal with that all day, Alaric? By myself? I thought we were friends,”
“We are friends,” He stresses, shooting Klaus a warning look that the Original dutifully ignores. “That’s why I’m asking you to do this. All you have to do is make the drive up to Whitmore and get the rest of Isobel’s stuff– we need to see if she has any information on the cure, or anything like that.”
“Doesn’t Bonnie have that professor guy that was telling her a bunch of stuff? Can’t we just go to him?”
“Damon doesn’t trust that guy,” Alaric says. “And before you ask, no, you can’t make Damon go. He and Klaus will kill each other if they’re in the same vehicle for that long.”
“He’s right about that,” Klaus says, still happily in his place on the couch. “Damon’s got such a temper these days. Can’t even handle a joke anymore.”
She scrunches her face up, giving him an incredulous look. “The only jokes you make are about the time you tried to kill Elena,”
“How would we cope if we couldn’t make jokes about these sorts of things?”
Her incredulity only deepens and she drags her gaze back to Alaric pointedly, earning an exhausted sigh from the teacher. “Klaus,” He starts, that same desperation still in his voice. “Can we all just play nice? For once we have something to be united about– could you possibly not jeopardize everyone’s lives again?”
Klaus heaves a sigh, standing from the couch in a swift movement and crossing the short distance to where they stand. “Certainly. I’m nothing if not professional, you know this.”
“Uh huh,” Alaric deadpans. “Can you be… professional enough to not provoke her into leaving you stranded somewhere, or something?”
“I’m sure we can work something out,” The hybrid drops his gaze to hers, bright eyes alight with mischief. “So long as she stops pouting.”
She huffs, dutifully not pouting. Narrowing her eyes, she offers a hand out to him, ignoring the amusement that sparks in his eyes at her formalness. “It’s for the greater good of all of us, right? I’m sure I can suffer through anything for that.”
Klaus shakes her hand firmly, and she ignores the way it feels like he’s laughing at her. “I’m sure you can.”
──────
“I take it all back, I’m going to murder him, and then myself.”
“Hello to you, too. I take it it’s going well?” Alaric’s voice comes through the speaker of her phone as she walks beside Klaus, ignoring the crowds of college students they’re pushing their way past to head to Isobel’s old office.
“Oh, it’s going so well, besides the fact that our vehicle just broke down as soon as we got to Whitmore.”
She can practically hear Alaric’s wince of sympathy through the phone. “Can’t Klaus just compel you another vehicle?”
“You would think so, but I already tried that, and he said it wouldn’t be very cooperative of him to take advantage of people. He’s apparently all for the teamwork these days,” She shoots him a glare, face twisting into one of disdain when all he does is give her a wide smirk. “Alaric, I cannot be stranded here with him. It was one thing if it was a few hours, but I cannot survive any longer than that.”
Alaric breathes out her name on an exasperated sigh, and she tries to ignore the slight pin prick of guilt that stabs at her because of it. “Have you called a mechanic or anything?”
She bites the tip of her tongue roughly. “Yeah. They’re coming to tow it, and they said it’ll be like, tomorrow morning at the earliest before it’s done.”
“Can you survive the night? For real? Or do you want me to drive up there and get you?”
She nearly blurts out that she won’t survive, that he needs to come get her as soon as he leaves work, but she stops herself, eyes drifting to Klaus, who seems to be awaiting her answer as well. Sighing tiredly, she shakes her head, even though Alaric can’t see her. “I’ll be fine, I’m just being dramatic. Don’t worry about me, alright? I– Klaus and I will handle this. It’s no big deal, I promise.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m positive,” She reassures, stopping at the steps that lead to Isobel’s office building. “I’ll text you later tonight after we’ve had some time to go through some of the stuff, okay?”
“Okay. Thank you,” He sounds infinitely less stressed at her reassurances, and the guilt she’d been feeling dissipates easily. “I’ll talk to you later.”
She echoes the goodbye and quickly pockets her phone again, immediately turning to Klaus to give him a glare that she can’t even really call a glare because of the complete and utter lack of any real heat behind it. Gesturing widely to the building before them, she sighs. “Let’s get this over with.”
The office is devoid of any lingering students, and she wonders if it was done on purpose. The only person there besides her and Klaus is the girl at the desk, and she racks her brain for the girl’s name, because Alaric had told her earlier before they left.
“Hi,” She starts, stepping in front of Klaus slightly as they approach the desk. “Alaric called earlier and said we’d be coming up to get some of Isobel’s research, I think?”
The girl stands, a small smile on her face as she nods. “Of course. I’m Vanessa, I was Isobel’s intern.”
Vanessa, she internally scolds herself for not remembering, before giving her name back in return. “And this is Klaus.”
The Original offered a charming smile, and she saw some degree of recognition flutter in Vanessa’s eyes as her smile grew wider, equally charmed and awed. “Lovely to meet you, Vanessa,”
“You’re Klaus Mikaelson, aren’t you?” She breathes out, shaking her head in disbelief as she leads them to Isobel’s private office. “Isobel was fascinated with the story of the Originals, but there wasn’t ever enough information to figure out what was true and what wasn’t.”
Klaus hums, practically preening under the attention. “Such are the consequences of living as long as I have. I can hardly remember what’s real and what’s not,”
Vanessa’s face lights up with an idea, and she steps towards Klaus excitedly. “Would you mind if I asked you some questions? It would do our research a lot of good to have something new,”
“Oh, well–”
“We have a lot to do,” She quickly cuts in over their voices, offering a sharp smile to Vanessa. “But if we have time later, I’m sure he’d love to give you a tell-all interview.”
Vanessa’s smile dims slightly but she nods, gesturing for them to go into the open office. “It’s all in there. Let me know if you need my help with anything.”
“We will definitely do that,” She says, ignoring the twitch in her fingers as pushes Klaus into the office ahead of her. “Thank you so much!”
She shuts the door firmly behind her and lets out a sharp sigh, her eyes fluttering open where she hadn’t even realized they’d shut. She finds Klaus staring at her, and immediately looks away, ducking past him to head for one of the packed boxes in the office, collecting dust. “What?”
Klaus makes an amused little hum in the back of his throat. “Oh, nothing,”
“There’s clearly something,”
“There is, but I don’t think you’d enjoy hearing it from me,”
She halts her movements, hands falling limp on the file folders sorted neatly inside one box. Turning to look at him over her shoulder, she raises a brow. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m curious as to what Vanessa did to earn your disdain,” He says, shrugging lightly, keeping his voice purposefully aloof.
She rolls her eyes, returning to pilfering through the box, skimming the labels on the file. “She was distracting you. We came here to do something, and we need to do it. That’s all.”
He makes that irritating noise again, and she pauses once more, this time turning to face him fully. “What? What is so funny about that? Might I remind you, we need to learn about this cure for you just as much as anyone else.”
He smirks, picking up a box from the floor and putting it on the table in front of him. “Of course. But only if you admit you were jealous,”
She feels the blood in her veins freeze as she stares at him, and she knows there’s a dawning look of horror growing on her face. “Excuse me?”
“Just admit that you were jealous of that poor girl in there, and I will do as much research as you want me to. It’s very simple.”
“Jealous,” She echoes, her voice faint the longer she looks at him. “You think that I was jealous because some college kid was treating you like you were the lead singer in her favorite boy band?”
“Maybe not her favorite boy band, but certainly her favorite Original,” He corrects, grinning deviously.
“I wasn’t jealous!” She yells somewhat hysterically, face twisting as her pulse races. “I– I have no reason to be jealous, I would never be jealous, I’m not– I’m not jealous! Just– shut up!”
She waves a hand in his direction, ignoring the warmth in her chest that stings like embarrassment. “Just– shut up, and– and leave me alone! Do what we came here to do,”
Klaus holds his hands up in surrender, still smiling like the cat that got the cream. “Whatever you say,”
──────
They’ve booked a hotel for the night, despite the fact that she’d sooner sleep on the street than stay in a hotel with Klaus Mikaelson. But he graciously offered to pay for it, and she was determined to pretend like their conversation earlier had never happened and that meant acting like absolutely nothing was wrong.
It meant letting him order them room service, and sitting quietly while they ate. It meant letting him tease and taunt her like he normally did, and working overtime to give him the normal reactions she would have– a glare here and there, a not-so-nice name everywhere else.
Except now it felt like it was all wrong. It felt like she was being even more obvious than before. All because he called her out. Because he was right.
Just out of sheer principle, she couldn’t ever tell him that. The last thing he needed was that particular ego boost, from her of all people.
Their relationship has always been antagonistic, but Klaus has never been nearly as harsh as she has. And now that she’s spent the last six hours thinking about every single interaction they’ve ever had, she feels somewhat stupid for not even letting herself contemplate the idea that she could one day be jealous over Klaus Mikaelson.
But even in that same vein, she understands why it never crossed her mind until he pointed it out. It was non-negotiable, having any sort of relationship like that with Klaus. She’d been friends with Alaric since he first met Isobel, she couldn’t just go and sleep with the guy who killed his girlfriend, let alone have feelings for him.
The thought alone made her stomach swirl with guilt, but she was determined to not let Klaus in on any of her inner turmoil, considering he’d get some insane satisfaction out of the fact that it’s all his fault.
By the time they make their way to the private bedroom in the ridiculously grand hotel room Klaus had gotten them for the night, it doesn’t really register in her mind that they not only don’t have any sort of pajamas due to the fact that this wasn’t supposed to be an overnight trip, but the only bedroom in the suite has one bed.
It doesn’t register in her mind until she’s already in bed, resigned to the fact that she’ll be sleeping in her t-shirt and underwear, and Klaus makes his way over to the bed like it’s no big deal.
“Hey, hey, what the hell are you doing?”
He raises a brow at her, gesturing to the bed. “Going to bed. We’ve got an early morning ahead of us if you have any chance of making it back to Mystic Falls alive.”
She rolls her eyes at his taunting recollection of her complaints, and she holds up a hand, keeping the blankets tucked carefully around her hips as she sits up. “Why wouldn’t you get a room with two beds?”
“Because it’s one night, darling,” He drawls, signature smirk twitching on his lips. “But if you have some particular feeling that would make sharing a bed with me uncomfortable, then I–”
“No!” She cuts him off, feeling like she was just backed into a corner. “No issue. Just– keep your hands to yourself.”
He winks at her, and she ignores the way it makes her heart race. “Wouldn’t dream of it,”
She shuffles back down into the bed and turns onto her side away from him, suddenly too conscious of the fact that she doesn’t have any pants on, and that if someone had told her this morning she’d be pantsless, in bed with Klaus Mikaelson, she probably would’ve punched them and then spent the rest of her life dreaming about it.
It’s only slightly humiliating.
Once Klaus is settled in the bed, presumably undressed to the same degree she is if the shuffling she’d heard a minute ago was anything to go by, he turns the lamp off, encasing them in darkness.
After too long, her hip starts to ache the longer she lays on her side, and she knows there’s no chance she’ll fall asleep with it throbbing like it is, so she resigns herself to the fact that she’s going to have to move.
Careful of her spacial awareness, she turns onto her back, and then onto her other side, unable to stop her eyes from landing on the shadows of Klaus’s profile.
She lets out a small breath, shakier than normal, and clutches her hand against the pillow beneath her head.
“You’re staring,”
She groans quietly. “I am not,”
“You know, I don’t know if I should be honored or not that you don’t act like this with anyone else.”
She squeezes the pillow again, brows furrowing on her forehead. Her curiosity piqued, despite her best interests. “What do you mean?”
“Well, you’re horrifically antagonistic on a good day, and downright murderous on a bad one. But you don’t ever lose your temper with anyone else like you do with me,” He observes, voice unintentionally quiet in the privacy of the darkness. If she didn’t know any better, she’d even say it was laced with fondness.
Pressing her face into her pillow briefly to try and collect herself, she lets her eyes trace the curve of his nose, and his prominent cupid’s bow, backlit by the moon shining in the window. She wonders what he looks like beneath a full moon. She wonders if his eyes shine that burning yellow-gold color the entire night.
“You do it on purpose,” She mutters, trying to keep her tone from sounding as childish as it does in her head. “I’m not stupid, Klaus. You like riling me up.”
She hears more than sees his head turn towards her, but she feels the burn of his eyes on her face like the summer sun.
“Did you ever consider that I just like when you talk to me?” He asks, sounding entirely more vulnerable than she ever thought he was capable of being.
Her breath stutters on an exhale, and she knows he can hear the way his words make her entire body trip up. Despite being unable to truly meet his eyes in the dark, she searches for them anyway, seeking out the truth that may lie in them.
He murmurs her name, soft and sweet between the sheets wrapped around them, and she can’t stop herself from pushing forward into his space, draping herself across his chest as she presses their lips together.
She’s instantly satisfied to hear the shocked noise that spills from his lips, but it’s the last coherent thought she can form once he mirrors her utter desperation.
He steals the breath from her lungs, barely letting her gasp between his greedy kisses, his hands pulling her further into him, leaving her practically on top of him.
His hands slide up the fabric of her shirt, grabbing at the bare skin there, groaning at the feel of her moving beneath his touch.
“Klaus,” She gasps out, panting at the spit-slick sounds of their lips together in the quiet of the hotel room. “Klaus, I have to–”
She forcibly pulls herself away from him, unable to even blame him for the way she let herself get so caught up as she catches her breath, looking down from where she’s propped above him.
They fall silent, matching each other’s frantic but slowing breaths as their spilled-over tension finally seems to simmer out.
A huff of a laugh comes from beneath her and she frowns slightly, looking at him. “What?”
His hands clench where they’re still gripping her waist, and she visibly shivers at the rough touch. “You were jealous, weren’t you?”
She instinctively slaps a hand against his bare shoulder, wondering how she hadn’t noticed he’d taken his shirt off when he got into bed. “You are such a dick,” She shakes her head, but she’s already leaning back in to kiss him again despite herself.
Klaus is quick to meet her halfway, craning his neck up to kiss her again, and she lets out a sudden yelp as he flips them around, pressing her into the mattress beneath him. “Let me make it up to you,”
She’s nodding before he even finishes speaking, and she thinks, tells herself, that she can’t be faulted for how quickly she forgives him after that.
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