#that's why fanfiction exists

[martini-with-a-lizzard]

Never before have I shipped anything harder than those two stupid detectives on death in paradise, like I know they probably won't get together but ya boi is invested now, he's in too deep, I need this for my silly little mental health.

(context: I've been watching through it all for the first time, I'm on s11, ep3)

[courfee]

“Regulus would be proud of us,” James whispered quietly to no one in particular, still gripping onto the painting like a life raft. 

— Tender Curiosities, Baby!  @otrtbs

[harukamitsuki]

Ugghh been consuming some bnha stuff and I'm reminded of why I largely prefer fanfiction over the actual story. I have so much hate and pettiness within me. Even so, I am never going to change my mind on how much I hate how bnha is just an amalgamation of wasted potention. Search the definition of wasted potential up and there's just an image of bnha.

I remember watching it as the first season was coming about because it was made by Bones and I just have to watch it in that case. I watched episode one and was so excited.

We have our mc, Midoriya Izuku, being powerless in a world full of quirks.

His childhood friend turned bully, Bakugou Katsuki, is shown to be favoured by literally everyone and this feeds into his ego.

All Might, the number one hero, is jaded and powerless for 21 hours of the day because of a fight nobody knew existed. Izuku is attacked and helpless, but saved by All Might. All Might tells him he can't become a hero. A much needed reality check because Izuku didn't work out a single bit before then and it's so incredibly hard to fight someone who has something you lack.

Then Bakugou is attacked and helpless. Bakugou, who is so much stronger and who people love, is left useless, only able to make the situation worse with his explosions creating a fire hazard. The pro-heroes can't do anything. All Might and Izuku both hate themselves for the part they played and how useless they are. Then Izuku sees how scared Bakugou is. He runs in, inspiring All Might as he mocks himself for breaking Izuku's dream yet forgetting the core of heroism.

Then, after all is said and done, All Might goes back to Izuku. And he tells him he can become a hero.

...

Then he offers him One for All. Now, when I was watching this for the first time, I was so disappointed. You set up a powerless mc in a world full of powers and you just give him the power of the strongest hero? Great. But, I kept watching.

I watched Izuku work to get his power, struggle even after getting a quirk. I watched as Izuku finally stood up for himself and win against Bakugou. I watched as the series went on and I... I started noticing more and more missed opportunities.

See, bnha is supposed to be a zero to hero story. It's supposed to be about the mc going from powerless to powerful. But it does it so quickly. Suddenly, it's not about Izuku finding his own form of strength, or realising how being quirkless may not give any advantages but it also has no disadvantages, or even any commentary on quirk discrimination or fantastic racism or anything.

It turns into a story about controlling your power. It's not what I signed up for.

That's just one missed potential. There's so many more. Horikoshi clearly tries to make some commentary on quirk discrimination and female heroes/sexism in the workplace and entertainment over peace. There's some effort put into making a comment on how heroes are glorified and people don't see them as public workers, they see them as celebreties.

But it's never delved into. We don't see how bad people with mutant or 'villainous' quirks are treated, and we don't see how people with weak quirks are treated, or how the quirkless are treated (because the only reason Izuku was treated so horribly was because of Bakugou). We don't see how female heroes need to have a bit of allure in their personas to have any sort of support.

Yuuei is literally a camp for making child soldiers, yet there's no controversy over it? There's no such things as heroes having to take lethal action and no moral dilemmas over it? There's nobody speaking out about how Midnight flirts with students?

We have literally no information about how heroes work. We don't know how their salaries are decided, how they're ranked, how undergound heroes work. if twilight heroes are a thing, how anybody but Rock Lock feels about bringing children into adult matters, (seriously, why do people hate Rock Lock for being rightfully worried about having 15 year olds in a raid against the yakuza), we don't know how villains work and how to decide if one's a criminal or a villain.

Heck, the only laws we know of are fanon, and the canon stupid idea that you can't use your quirk in self-defense.

It's just. Incredibly infuriating.

Also, analysis as a whole is so under-utilised. Both Izuku and Shigaraki are deemed creepy for their analysis, which is such a useful tool. I mean, Izuku accurately guesses Stain's quirk, which is useful because, otherwise, they wouldn't be wary about Stain licking their blood or cutting them. Shigaraki accurately guesses the time intervals between Aizawa's blinks, which helps him a shit ton.

But is it ever used outside of these situations? No. The thing is, quirks are scientific in nature, not magic. Therefore, they're not restricted like magic is. Fire doesn't always have to be fire, it can be smoke or just heat. Ice can be water or steam. Acid can melt through anything or just be used as a mario kart banana peel.

There was so much missed potential and that's exactly why there's so much fan content.

Horikoshi leaves so much out, and everything he misses tends to be the interesting parts. He willfully explains Bakugou's quirk in detail, but everyone else? Nah. Fuck them.

I mean, let's look at Ochako's quirk.

Gravity negation. Or is it? See, if it were just gravity negation, then two things, in particular, would happen. First of all, Izuku would have fucking died when she saved him from falling. Second of all, she would not have been able to get infinity in the ball throw.

Negating gravity does not negate the forces. Therefore, when she saved Izuku from falling, he would have still been affected by the force of his fall. It would have been no different from hitting the concrete. Additionally, when she threw the ball, it kept going. Air drag would have made it so that she couldn't possibly get an infinity.

More accurately, rather than force negation as some fanfics suggests, she's telekinetically accelerating whatever she touches. She telekinetically accelerates Izuku's body to stop him falling, and does the reverse for the ball, making it so that it continues to accelerate after she throws it.

See what I mean? Because Horikoshi gave Bakugou's quirk a scientific explanation with him sweating a nitroglycerin-like substance and being able to spark it, you have to look at every quirk with scientific knowledge. He could have said 'oh, yeah, I store energy from my quirk in these gauntlets' but Hori just had to be a smartass.

By the way, because of Bakugou's explanation, it's possible that his quirk is not what is named. Yes, it's possible to have two sides of a quirk, as we see in Shouto, but Bakugou's quirk isn't explained in the same way.

Rather than his quirk being creating explosions, his quirk is more like creating sparks in his palms. Why? Well, you see. Bnha never delves into actual quirk theory, but there's more than enough canon evidence that you have one main quirk and then one or more quirk mutations. For example, Ashido Mina's quirk is secreting acid that she can manipulate the acidity and viscocity of. Her appearance is not related to her quirk at all, meaning it's a quirk mutation from her parents. Same with Tokoyami Fumikage. Quirk is Dark Shadow, so there's no need for the bird head.

Why does this relate to Bakugou? Let me explain: Bakugou explains that he recieved a mutation from his parents with his mother secreting glycerin and his father sweating acid with combustive properties. In other words, Bakugou inherited nitroglycerin-like sweat from his parents, but his actual quirk is being able to create sparks.

His quirk is 'Sparks'. Not Explosions.

Why am I ranting about this? Because bnha completely misses all of this! It makes no sense which is a shame because the concept is so interesting! But then it throws away any scraps of potential left when it becomes 'My Kacchan Academia'.

Seriously, why do people and why does Horikoshi love abusive pieces of shit so much? Why did he throw away the potential to look into Shouto and his siblings' feeling about Endeavour? Why did he make Dabi's plot all about Endeavour instead of Shouto?

It's so easy to compare the ways Dabi and Shouto handle their trauma and their ways of revenge. It's so easy to look at Dabi and think about how easy it would have been for Shouto to become like him.

Shouto was transfixed on Endeavour. Everything he did related back to his hate for Endeavour. Using his quirk, fighting, grades, social interaction, everything. His only reason for becoming a hero is to spite Endeavour. It's only because Izuku reaches out to him and saves him from his own toxic mindset that he's able to move one and do things for himself.

Dabi, or Touya, on the other hand, doesn't get that. He doesn't get that person who recognises how far he's gone, how, in trying to spite Enveavour, he's living a life centred on him. How he's jealous of his little brother for being abused and tormented.

While Shouto became a hero to spite Endeavour, Dabi became a villain.

They're both full of hatred at first, but Shouto is saved from that spiral. Izuku helps him. Dabi doesn't have that. It would have been so interesting to see these two face of as parellels, but nope. It's all about Endeavour. Shouto is nothing more than an accessory.

I understand Dabi being hung up on Endeavour, but to outright replace Shouto with the abusive flaming trashbag? No.

Also, if Horikoshi wanted Dabi to be seen as sympathetic or redeemable, don't make him kill innocent people. Don't make it so that he unlocks an ice aspect to his quirk in a life-or-death situation because all that means is that Endeavour was right to hurt Touya the way he did. All that says is Endeavour should have hurt him more.

AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON BAKUGOU.

This piece of shit bullied Izuku relentlessly for years, used his quirk on him (yes that is canon), told him to end his life, tried to assault him in Yuuei, tried to kill him, threw a tantrum at an abused kid for not being magically okay with using a quirk that reminded him of his abusive father, assaults Izuku when he tries to work together but still magically gets a pass for being carried out unconcious which Sero was failed for, and the list just keeps growing.

Oh, but my bad. He has a sad backstory. You see, he fell in a river.

[hyperfixiation-station]

Alpha!Ghost with an Omega!reader that is captured by enemy forces and goes through their heat alone and in confinement???? And Ghost finds them after they're finished??? And you're too weak to even move??? Sorry just and this thought and i wish i didn't have to write it and it was already there for me to read asdfghjk

[fromtheseventhhell]

Very funny to me how Stansas present her character as being so interesting and complex because of her vulnerabilities, while simultaneously ignoring those same vulnerabilities in other characters. Dany is sold as a bridal slave and lacks agency throughout AGOT and after. Her dragons are either too young/small to utilize effectively or locked away for the majority of the story. They aren't some all-powerful trump card that protects her from harm. Arya is captured as a prisoner of war, forced to watch countless people tortured and murdered, and then essentially enslaved in Harrenhal with no way to fight back. She has an entire arc of feeling powerless, of being a "mouse", during ACOK. She doesn't have "kung-fu" or the ability to magically fight her way out of every situation, she's a young child lacking physical strength with only the most basic sword training.

Sansa isn't the only female character, she isn't the only young character, she isn't the only character who suffered, and no one is obligated to prioritize her. I'm so tired of Dany and Arya being mischaracterized and having their stories erased to prop Sansa up. "Sansa has kept her dignity" In other words, let's praise her for having a level of security that Dany and Arya don't have access to. She hasn't ever been forced to make a hard decision which of course means that she's morally superior to them. They can't even admit to themselves that her lack of action is due to her own passivity. If it doesn't fit their delusion, they erase it from the story and expect the rest of us to play along. Ask one of them what they like about her character without bringing up her being the ultimate victim, and I genuinely don't believe they'd be able to give you an answer. They belittle other characters more than they talk about her and these takes just scream insecurity/jealousy at the content and development other characters have in their POVs.

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

Protecting You Forever

(A/N- We need more comfort fanfiction about RL so I’m here to provide. Also I’m proofreading this late at night so misspelling is probably there)

RL! Bela Dimitrescu x FEM! Reader

(Warning: Mild NSFW mentions about you and Bela, partying, alcohol, swearing, sexual harassment but nothing major, BELA COMFORT)

Now playing: “Everything I Wanted” by Billie Eilish

You and Bela have been dating for a few months now but it feels like it’s been forever. Bela was perfect for you, always treating you well, taking care of you, you name it. Before dating you Bela just worked on paperwork, she had no time to have fun. It’s not like she cared though, when it comes to the school counsel what has to be done, has to be done no matter what. Then you came along and became her world.

She had promised herself that she��ll take some time off for you. To make sure that you feel loved and treasured like a priceless gem. Usually she’ll take you on dates or spend time in her dorm and it leads to other delightful things. Though today you were invited to a party by one of your good friends Angie and wanted to bring Bela along.

Bela is not the party type and she rather spend one-on-one time with you but if this party is another way to make you smile then she’ll go.

....

You’ve been at the party for about an hour now, chatting with friends and acquaintances, doing chaotic shit with Angie while Bela almost has a heart attack for y’all’s recklessness. And of course a Angie-style party is never complete without alcohol. With a bunch of drunks in a large room together stuff is bound to go down.

Everything was all good until this girl came up to you when Bela wasn’t around. At first she started some small talk asking your name and how your day’s been. It was clear that she was drunk from her movements to her speech. She was close to you, a bit too close for comfort. During your conversations she would pat your back and hit your thigh multiple times. The first few times you brushed it off and ignored it but as time went by you began to feel uncomfortable.

You could tell that the touches wasn’t just a casual friendly gesture, it had an ulterior motive to them. You can just sense it. You wondered where Bela was at, she couldn’t have gone far right?

All the sudden you hear loud footsteps coming from behind, in no time you see someone appear in front of you. It was the goddess herself, your girlfriend Bela with fury burning in her eyes.

“What the hell is wrong with you. Can’t you see that she’s uncomfortable?” Bela says to the drunken woman with such hostility.

The intoxicated woman stood straight up and clenched her fists, trying to intimidate Bela. Which failed and only made her even more pissed. You quickly grabbed Bela wrist, turning her attention to you and softened her gaze a bit when she saw the discomfort in your eyes.

“Let’s get out of here, I want to leave.” You say, hoping that Bela will listen and not catch a charge for beating a bitch to a pulp.

She thinks for a moment before exhaling, turning to face the woman behind her. “If you ever fucking think about touching her again I will make sure you’ll regret it.” Bela states with pure disgust evident in her eyes. She can’t wrap her head around why someone would commit such an act like this. It’s disgustingly inhumane.

The woman huffed in annoyance before walking off, leaving the both of you. Bela turns and holds out her hand for you to hold, in which you do so and she swiftly leads you through the crowd all the way to the exit. As soon as you got outside, a breath of relief came out of your mouth.

Thankfully there wasn’t anybody close by, finally some peaceful and quiet.

“Are you okay? I’m sorry I didn’t get there sooner.” Bela says, she wants to pull you into a tight hug but she doesn’t want to make you even more uncomfortable considering what you had just experienced.

As Bela patiently waited for a response, she saw you come closer to her and wrap your arms around her waist. “Yeah just a bit uncomfortable. I can still feel her touch linger on me, but I’m fine now that you’re here with me.” You say as you nuzzle your face into the crook of her neck.

After you spoke those words she reciprocated the hug and rubbed your back up and down in a comforting way. The two of you stayed there for a moment, enjoying each other’s warm and comforting aura, while the cool midnight breeze hits your skin.

Bela pulls away to look you in the eyes before speaking, “It’ll be practically impossible to protect you from all of the cruelty in this world, but listen to me, no matter what you experience I’ll always be here to save you from it.”

You gave her a small smile before saying a quiet thank you just above a whisper. A light blush appears across Bela’s cheeks and pulls you back into her comforting embrace, kissing your temple.

“It’s no problem, I’ll protect you forever my love.”

Masterlist

[memoriamp4]

I hate that we never heard Astrid tell Hiccup 'I love you'. I was fully expecting her to tell him she loved him back in rtte 6x06 after he told her he loved her... but she didn't. Like they really made an entire episode about Astrid wanting a more lovely dovey relationship but then she never even said 'I love you' in the episode?? And Astrid has so many inspiring and loving speeches to Hiccup but I wish there was an 'I love you' included in at least one of them

[bitchface24-7]

I wish we got more time with Sam’s Demon Powers.

Like they only really came through when he (and especially Dean) were in trouble. It’s such a cool element to the story and the writer just went “here’s a few scenes, and we’ll completely forget about it. It no longer exists. Don’t get your hopes up.” Like Sam moves an entire bookshelf that’s full of shit cause Deans in trouble, then it’s like never mentioned again.

I want to see Sam pull off a Wanda Maximoff for Dean like she did for Vision. I want that unrelenting, psychotic, unnatural force to be shown in their relationship. Aside from when the other died and they went a-wall. I want cool psychic powers included too.

They should’ve put me in the writers room, I got too many ideas for my boys :(

[athina-blaine]

Summary:

Kabru knew that this idyllic peace wouldn’t last but, for once, he fought against the urge to dwell on his worries. Not when he had the object of his fascination underneath his fingertips. Not when Laios looked at him with such naked, earnest affection. Not when everything was so delicately perfect.

Perfect.

Except for—

Kabru pulled away, taking a moment to relish the sound of Laios’ faint whine before putting on his most demure smile.

“It’s alright if you want to touch me, you know.”

-

What does it mean to feel truly sated?

Rating: Explicit Relationships: Kabru/Laios Touden Chapters: 2/3 Word Count: ~4.9k Additional Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Developing Relationship, Trans Male Character, Character Study, Post-Canon, Alcohol, Communication Issues, Frottage, Oral Sex Beta'd by @yuri-puppies and @tofixtheshadows

Chapter 2

The royal study, Kabru had determined, was the perfect place to conduct an unscheduled document review with His Majesty.

For starters, it had a soft, squishy chair with a wide enough base that Kabru could comfortably straddle Laios’ lap without his knees getting sore. The room offered a delightful view of the castle gardens, perfectly angled to avoid the glare of the setting sun and any prying eyes from below. But, most importantly, if anyone were to be seeking out an audience with His Majesty, his official study would be the last place they’d think to look. Anybody in the know knew the real study lay underneath a shady oak tree in the grand courtyard, and this suited Kabru’s purposes just fine.

Kabru dragged his tongue across the seam of Laios’ mouth, savoring the low sound that rumbled deep inside Laios’ chest. He whispered a scolding hush against whimpering lips. Nobody was looking for him here, yes, but that didn’t mean they had to go around tempting fate.

Laios hummed, leaning back to gaze up at Kabru with a dreamy grin. “You’re really good at that.”

“Thank you,” said Kabru as he brushed his fingers through Laios’ hair. “You’ve mentioned that before, you know.”

“Well, yeah, you’re still good at it.” He tilted his head up, gazing at Kabru with pleading eyes. “More, please?”

Laughing through his nose, Kabru leaned back down to fulfill his liege’s request. He did say please.

It was all so thrilling. Up until this point, Kabru had always followed the conventional wisdom of avoiding inter-party romance. He’d never had sex with someone he’d call a friend. He’d never even told his partners where he lived. After all, he hadn’t come to the island seeking romance. Better for everyone involved if he left that sort of thing in his old smut novels.

But the island and its grievances were behind him. Now, Kabru had been given the luxury of time. Time to nurture and grow something between himself and someone he cared about. Time to know someone beyond what could be learned in a single night. He had time to sleep in until the sun warmed his face, arms wrapped around a warm chest and soft sides. Kabru had time, a concept that occasionally overwhelmed him. How fortunate to have someone so eager to spend it with him.

Kabru knew that this idyllic peace wouldn’t last but, for once, he fought against the urge to dwell on his worries. Not when he had the object of his fascination underneath his fingertips. Not when Laios looked at him with such naked, earnest affection. Not when everything was so delicately perfect.

Perfect.

Except for—

Kabru pulled away, taking a moment to relish the sound of Laios’ faint whine before putting on his most demure smile.

“It’s alright if you want to touch me, you know.”

[Continue on AO3]

[blitzwhore]

It's been 3 days and Stolitz still has me fucking bedridden. I swear to god

[martini-with-a-lizzard]

If I had a nickle for every time I got so excited over fanfiction that I puked I would probably have enough money to pay off my student loans and I'm really not sure If that's a good thing.

[hontobakane]

I'm not sure this was supposed to make me laugh as much as it did...

[youling-the-ghost]

The fun police guy from that one guessing game is called Clint now. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

[hyperfixiation-station]

THOUGHT OF ANOTHER OMEGA!READER ANGST FIC IDEA!

So reader is dragged in for questions and there's not a lot of rules regarding how omega are treat in/by the military so they are very rough with you and you're just a medic who doesn't know anything but they question you anways and Ghost only find out because he can smell your distress from 3 buildings away.

Coem to find out this happens to a lot of omegas, this is just the first time the omega has, for lack of better term, belonged to a high-profile alpha. So Ghost and the rest of the 141 go to lobby for better rules/treatment and yeah. I dunno. I'm tired.

[iamumbra195]

You know how after Tony defeated Extremis in Iron Man 3 and started looking into their research in order to stabilize Pepper?

It would've been cool if he began to do experiments using their research on animals/insects to see how it would react and how he could improve upon it so it could actually benefit the public and then in the post-credits scene there could be a mutated spider crawling through the vents then lowering itself onto the shoulder of one Peter Parker that is there on a field trip.

He got scared and tried to brush it off but it ended up biting his hand and Tada! Here is the origin of MCU Spider-Man!

I mean, if you're just gonna change a bunch of Spider-Man lore in these movies, might as well take it all the way rather than ignoring and never mentioning how and where he got his powers.

Plus, it would tie Tony and Peter together beyond Tony just randomly deciding to pull him into the whole Civil War mess like a complete asshole.

[dragon-creates]

I started this short bowuigi little mermaid au thing a few days ago as a little something to help me feel better cause my depression was basically being like ‘hey, wanna feel ten times worse than usual?’ It was to be a short little thing to self-indulge with, YET IT SOMEHOW IS OVER 5K WORDS, FUCKING HOW?!?!?!?!? Anyways, enjoy. (Edit, to the person who pointed out that Junior said Luigi's name before Bowser finds out, you're a real one and I just fixed it thanks xx).

In the surface land, Bowser is trying to get Princess Peach to marry him because he sees her as the ‘perfect bride’ for him to be happy but she’s not having it.

“Isn’t she lovely Kamek, her golden hair, the way she glides when she moves. Plus, she would be a perfect mother for Junior!”

“Sire, she threw a shoe at your head the last time you proposed to her.”

“…and?”

“Seriously Papa?”

Yeah, Kamek and Junior are starting to get sick of it.

Meanwhile, in the ocean, Mario and Luigi’s parents rule the seven seas. While Mario is more adventurous and outgoing, Luigi is more content to stay under the sea (you’re allowed to hate me for that terrible pun).

See, unlike Ariel, Luigi is deathly afraid of the surface land as he’s heard about all about the terrifying Bowser and what he’s willing to do to get what he wants to he wants to stay as far as possible from there.

“There’s nothing to be scared of Luigi, I’d be able to keep you safe if we were ever near the surface.”

“N-no way! W-what if B-Bowser’s there a-an-d-d gets mad a-at us f-or t-t-t-trespassing! I-I’ll be fine here with Ma and Pa.”

(Luigi also has long hair cause I’m a sucker for long-haired Luigi.)

Que King Boo, a ghostly underwater sea monster who wants to take over both the land and sea but isn’t powerful enough to do so. He knows that Luigi means a lot to his family, so he decides to pull a devious trick to distract them from their duties so he can take over the throne.

“Well, well, well, despite how much of a cowardly shrimp he is, this little prince could be of use to me.”

He uses Polterpup (a ghost sea-lion pup that is able to turn into a dog if he goes to the surface land) to distract Luigi, making him think that a dog had fallen into the sea and needs help. Luigi follows the sound of the distressed barking, hoping to help the innocent animal when suddenly, he’s captured by Boo’s minions and with the limited power that he has, he uses it to turn Luigi into a human to make him unable to return home. That way, while Luigi’s family will be looking for their son, he can try and take over the underwater kingdom and use that power to take over the surface land. Just to make sure that Luigi doesn’t tell anyone, King Boo steals Luigi’s voice and sends him to the edge of the Darklands.

“Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Try going home and telling your mommy and daddy about this one princey! Oh wait, you can’t!”

However, since King Boo’s powers are still weak there is a way that the spell can be reserved so he purposely neglects to tell Luigi that the spell can be broken with true love’s kiss.

Luigi is distraught and terrified, already afraid of the surface land and is now forced to live there with no way of being able to ask for help.

Feeling guilty, Polterpup decides to help Luigi get used to his human legs and brings him a rag from a ship to help make into some makeshift clothes.

Meanwhile, Bowser and Junior are minding their own business at the shore of the Darklands when suddenly, Junior sees an unfamiliar human struggling to stand on his own two feet.

“Look Dad! There’s a human, like Peach!”

He gets a bit over excited and runs from his dad to go see Luigi.

Luigi, still frightened and wary of surface creatures (and the fact that this is Bowser’s son! So, if the king sees him with Junior, he could burn him to a crisp!) he gets spooked easily by the child and fumbles his way onto a rock. Polterpup stands in front of Luigi to create some distance with the overzealous child. Eventually, Bowser makes his way over to see what all the fuss is about.

“Junior, what have I told you about running off?!”

“But look Papa, it’s another human! I’ve never seen another human before apart from Peach!”

Bowser suddenly notices Luigi, who ducks behind Polterpup, trying to hide as much of himself as he can.

Bowser is taken aback, like Junior, Peach is the only human he’s seen so he’s never had the chance to formally get to know another one. He sees that the human is a bit skittish, so he tries to be as unintimidating as possible.

“Uh, hey there, sorry about Junior, he has the tendency to get overexcited sometimes.”

“Hey!”

Luigi is still unsure; he’s only ever heard tales about how the king of the koopas was able to be rid of his enemies just with one swipe of his claw. So, seeing him up close makes him want to piss himself.

Bowser can see that the human is still nervous, though he’s a little bit offended, he can’t really blame the human for being scared.

“Did you, uh, get in a shipwreck? Cause I can see that the only thing you’re dressed in is a sail.”

Luigi finally peaks his head out and nods a little bit, wondering why the koopa hasn’t done anything to him yet. Junior is suddenly asking him a lot of questions.

“Woah, you got in a shipwreck?! That’s so cool! Was there tons of thunder and lightning?! Did your ship light on fire?! Your dog is so cool! Is he a ghost?!”

Startled again, Luigi nearly falls off the rock until Bowser catches him. Luigi suddenly starts trembling both from fear and the cold. The king notices this and tries to ask him if he’s alright to try and loosen the tension, but the human is silent.

“What’s wrong? Can’t talk or something?”

He says that sarcastically and laughs a little to try and make the human do so as well, but he takes one look in the human’s eyes and realises that he actually can’t.

“Oh, I see.”

Luigi is hugging himself at this point, wanting to run and hide but he was getting colder and colder by the minute. Bowser then decides to take the human back to the castle to get him warmed up and a little bit less scared.

“Don’t worry, Kamek and Kammy will know how to help you. You’ll be feeling better soon.”

That gets Luigi to look up at the king with curiosity as Bowser carries him back to the castle with Junior and Polterpup by his side. The great ferocious king was holding him ever so gently and promising to help him, he doesn’t know how to feel at this point.

As soon as Kamek and Kammy see Luigi shivering and drenched, they are instantly ‘grandparents mode activated. They take Luigi from Bowser and lead the human into bathroom, (Bowser totally didn’t want to carry him there) Kamek makes him tea and gives Luigi a few biscuits while Kammy is drawing a warm bubble bath for him.

“Here you are now, its not much but it will help fill and warm you up a little bit.”

Luigi has never tasted land food before; he finds it to be quite nice. He even enjoys the bath, letting the water heat him up and blowing on the bubbles. Kammy finds the site adorable.

“The poor thing, washing up from a shipwreck must’ve been so terrifying for you, especially if you heard about the reputation of the Darklands. Don’t worry, we just want to help you feel better and feel comfortable here.”

Kamek comes into the room holding a few dresses and suits, asking the human which one he’d like to wear for dinner. Although Luigi didn’t need to wear clothes as a mermaid, he does know that land creatures wear them all the time. He instantly chooses one of the dresses (because gender norms don’t exist, and Luigi is allowed to wear whatever the fuck he wants!)

Later, Kammy is helping Luigi get changed while Kamek, Junior and Bowser are in the dining room talking about Peach again.

“All I’m saying sire is that it might be due time to stop pursuing the princess. She had already disagreed to your other proposals, and I don’t see her agreeing any time soon.”

“I can’t just give up on her Kamek, Peach makes me feel things that I’ve never felt for anyone. I will marry her, one day.”

As if right on time, Kammy and Luigi are there, the former ushering in the shy man.

“Don’t be so nervous darling, you look lovely!”

Luigi then steps into the room, wearing a beautiful green dress (a green version of Ariel’s pink dress) with Polterpup by his side to keep him company.

Bowser is starstruck, he’s never seen a human look this beautiful before.

“Y-you look amazing.”

Luigi blushes, still nervous but the compliment gives him butterflies.

“Come sit next to me human!”

Junior takes his hand and leads him next to his seat, which happens to also be next to Bowser’s at the head of the table. To try and take his mind off the fact that he’s sitting next to Bowser, Luigi starts focusing on the plates and cutlery, he’s never really seen that many human artefacts before so it’s all so intriguing to him (expect when Mario brings back some from his adventures, but he doesn’t really know what they are either.)

Bowser becomes amused at Luigi’s curiosity for the simple objects he had, his appreciation for things that seem to be mundane gives him a swell of pride.

“I guess my silverware is kinda nice, isn’t it?”

Luigi immediately puts the fork don’t and hides under his hair, afraid that he might have disrespected the king, but Bowser is quick to reassure him that he doesn’t mind.

“It’s just that no one else I know is fascinated by these types of things, so its nice to see someone that it.”

Luigi peers out from his hair, a small smile forming from the king’s praise. Kamek picks up on the tension and decides to do some *matchmaking*.

 “Since our guest will be staying for a while, perhaps we should help him feel more comfortable with a tour of the kingdom…Bowser?”

“Papa, are you listening?”

Bowser breaks out of his trance, not even realising he was staring at the human. He couldn’t help it; he’s not seen that many and this one was just so fascinating.

“Ah, yes, a tour sounds great! If you would like one?”

Luigi thinks for a bit and nods. If he was wrong about the king, then maybe he was wrong about the kingdom and surface land and should give it a chance.

Kamek nods at that, pleased with his work. Kammy shoots him a thumbs up for his work.

Later, while Luigi is getting ready for bed, he watches Bowser with Junior as they play in the courtyard. Bowser notices him watching and waves at him. Embarrassed that he was caught, Luigi shyly waves back and backs away from the balcony. He’s wearing a cotton nightgown that Kammy had given him, as well as a glass of water from Kamek in case he gets thirsty during the night. This is also his first time laying in a bed, he’s never felt anything so soft in his life! He falls asleep as soon as he puts his head on the pillow, feeling a bit more hopeful after today.

Back in the ocean, Mario and his family are frantically searching for his brother, terrified that something bad happened to him. He decides to go to the surface land, specifically from the Mushroom Kingdom, and ask their princess for help and if he’s washed up there. It also helps that he’s heard so much about her kindness and beauty and…wake up Mario, focus on the mission at hand.

Back on the surface lands, Bowser takes Luigi on a tour of his kingdom, Polterpup by his feet through the all thing. At first, Luigi is still a bit unsure about the koopas, but soon he becomes a bit more curious. He goes up to some of the food stand giving away free sample and decides to try a little bit of fruit, it’s a bit tangy but still pretty good. He even sees a puppet show for the first time, not knowing how the little puppets are moving, he pulls one of a koopa’s hand, fascinated with how it works. A few koopa children then come up to him and ask to do his hair, having never seen another human before with his like his. He agrees and let the children tie up his hair in a French braid along with a few faux white flowers to go with the new dress he’s wearing. Bowser is watching from afar, his jaw dropping when Luigi’s hairstyle is revealed, his heart skipping a beat when Luigi does a twirl.

“Wow, you…you look beautiful greenie.”

Luigi blushes at the compliment.

The two suddenly hear music and see a few performers starting to play on their instruments as koopas, goombas and shy guys join in. Bowser takes Luigi’s hand and asks him to dance, the man nods his head, feeling a bit more at ease with the king now.

Soon the two join the crowd, laughing and having the time of their lives as they dance away to the music, Polterpup occasionally runs through some of the koopas legs.

When it ends, Bowser guides Luigi to a hidden river, the only place with water in the Darklands (apart from the shore). They share a little boat ride together as they share some of the food they bought at the market, while Polterpup takes a nap. Bowser then remembers that despite the time they shared together, he still doesn’t even know Luigi’s name.

“I feel terrible not knowing your name, and we don’t have anything that you can write with…Oh I know, how about I go down the alphabet and you pick out the letters of your name?”

Luigi nods and though it takes a while, the king manages to spell out his name.

“Luigi huh? A beautiful name for a beautiful human.”

Its Luigi’s turn for his heart to skip a beat. All his life he’d heard about the koopa kingdom and their dreaded king, now it turns out that he’s actually a gentleman who’s been showing him nothing but respect. Ever since this man washed up at his kingdom, Bowser has been feeling things that he’s never felt for anyone. Flustered, vulnerable and a need to protect and love. He’s never even felt this for Peach. The two start to lean in when their boat suddenly tips over, the two falling out. Bowser is quick to pick up Luigi, who begins to wring out his dress while Polterpup begins to shake his non-existent coat. As Bowser carries Luigi back as Polterpup floats beside them, the two fail to see two boos that were the ones who knocked over their boat.

Back in his lair, King Boo is seething!

“That blasted little shrimp! At this rate, these two will end up snogging all over the place and my plans will be ruined!”

He decides to go to his last resort, a mind control crown that he had hoped to use on one of the rulers to conquer the sea and surface, however this crown also held many of his other spells (including Luigi’s) and he wasn’t strong enough to use it more than once to use a spell as powerful as mind control. It was always extremely fragile, though he would still have some power, if it broke then all of his previous spells from over the years would be released, so he held it off for as long as he could, and it seems that now he has no other choice.

Meanwhile, Mario has finally arrived at the Mushroom Kingdom, hoping to find help with the princess. She’s just as beautiful in the rumours he’s heard about her. The princess is shocked to find an adorable red merman in a river near her palace, but she can’t deny his plea for help when he looked just so sweet.

“My brother, he’s gone missing! Is there any chance he’s been around here lately?”

“I’m sorry, you’re the only mer-person we’ve seen here. But don’t worry, we’ll keep a look out and help you find him!”

“Really?! Thank you, princess!”

“Y-you’re welcome.”

Back at the Darklands, Bowser is thinking about his new feelings for Luigi, not knowing if he should act on them since he didn’t want to betray his love for Peach. Kamek, fed up at this point, goes up to give Bowser his thoughts on the matter.

“If I may say sire, some people spend most of their time chasing after treasure on a map that leads them in circles, that they neglect that the diamond in the rough is right in front of them. Just a thought from a silly old koopa.”

As Kamek leaves, Bowser ponders over his surrogate father’s words. For years he’s yearned for Peach so the point that he became blinded by what he thought he wanted and put her on a pedestal. Now, there’s someone that doesn’t see him as a monster and might love him back. He makes his decision and starts to go to Luigi to tell him how he feels when he suddenly feels a weight on his head, and everything goes dark.

The next morning, Luigi wakes up feeling more refreshed and happier than he has since he first turned human. He’s been thinking all night about the maybe-kiss that he and Bowser were about to share and had been contemplating his feelings on the matter. He soon found himself realising that he would mind kissing Bowser, in fact, he would really like to kiss him and spend every day with him, Junior, Kammy and Kamek. Besides, there was nothing stopping him from travelling to see his brother and family, maybe it could all work out? He fell asleep last night with a smile on his face and butterflies in his stomach.

He’s about to run down the stairs to meet Bowser when he hides behind a pillar when he sees the king speaking with Kamek, wearing a strange crown.  

“Y-your highness, are you sure this is the best idea?”

“Peach castle is currently unprotected; it would be a good opportunity to strike and take her as my bride.”

“I see that, but after the last few days and our past with the Mushroom Kingdom, shouldn’t we think this through a little bit and-”

“-It has always been my intention to make Peach mine, no matter what and I won’t let anyone get in my way. Especially some scrawny human who washed up at my sure. Once the invasion is complete, the wedding will start immediately.”

“…very well sire.”

Luigi, heartbroken and betrayed, flees to his room, not knowing that King Boo was there the whole having used his ghostly-ness to remain invisible while controlling Bowser with the crown.

As Bowser takes off with his army and airship, Luigi stays behind at the port to cry as Polterpup tries to comfort him, having to face the truth that he was right in the first place, Bowser was just a heartless monster.

Junior is on the airship per his father’s orders to be at the wedding. He searches for his dad, wondering why he had the sudden change of heart about Luigi and his invasion. He creaks open the door to his father’s room when he sees King Boo in Bowser’s mirror, cackling to himself at the fact that his plans are nearly complete.

Realising his dad is being mind controlled by the strange ghost thing, he makes his way down to the clown cars and sneaks away in his own small one to get to Luigi as quickly as possible.

The Mushroom Kingdom is taken aback when Bowser suddenly arrives, not fully prepared for battle since he would usually leave some type of indication that he was coming, but here, he was just blasting through with every intention of not leaving until he gets what he wants. Mario wants to help but Peach tells him to stay hidden. Unable to just do nothing, Mario rushed as fast as he can to get back home to get his father.

As soon as Peach sees Bowser, there’s something different about his atmosphere, something way more menacing and demanding. As usual, he wants Peach to marry him, but this time he doesn’t ask.

“One way or another, you will marry me Peach and we’ll watch your kingdom turn to ash.”

“You’re not even going to bargain.”

“It’s not like you can do anything about it.”

A pit forms in Peach’s stomach, something’s wrong, very wrong.

Junior makes it back to, running to the sobbing man as fast as he can.

“Luigi! Luigi! There’s some weird ghost thing that was in my dad’s mirror! I think that’s why he’s attacking the Mushroom Kingdom so soon! What do we do?!”

Luigi’s eyes widen in horror. King Boo! He had to be behind all this. Without any second thoughts, Luigi climbs in Junior’s clown car, along with Polterpup, and the two head to the Mushroom Kingdom as fast as they can.

While Bowser/Boo is adamant about the wedding, the koopas there are a little less comfortable about it due to how strange and intimidating the king was acting. As the service starts, Peach pulls out an ice flower from her bouquet and attacks Bowser, she lands a few hits, but Bowser uses his fire to melt the ice. Peach keeps trying to fight though, at least to distract him while she thinks of a plan. The koopas also help, agreeing that their King was not himself and didn’t want anyone in the Mushroom Kingdom getting severely injured.

Luigi finally arrives with Junior, jumps out of the vehicle and lands on Bowser’s shoulders while he’s fighting Peach. Seeing a crown that wasn’t on Bowser’s head before, Luigi grabs it and smashes it to the ground, falling off Bowser’s shoulder from the impact of the throw.

Suddenly, Bowser sees himself at the Mushroom Kingdom, not knowing how he got there since the last place he remembered being was back home. Princess Peach and the koopas stop, sensing that Bowser’s atmosphere was back to normal as he looks towards Luigi.

“Luigi, are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine…wait…I can talk!”

“You can finally speak again!”

“My voice its back!”

“I don’t understand, what’s happening?”

“It’s King Boo, he-aahhh!”

Before he can get another word out, there’s a sharp pain in his legs. He fells his bones bending and breaking in the most painful way and King Boo suddenly appears, turning him back into a merman before he can get another word out. Luigi looks to Bowser, afraid of what he’ll think of the man once he realises what he really is. But Bowser is too wrapped up in shock of what its happening and worry for the man that he loves.

King Boo grabs Luigi and drags him back into the ocean, the latter screaming for Bowser as the koopa tries to grab him as Luigi is forced back into the water, Polterpup chasing after his new owner. The king turns to Princess Peach.

“Princess, I know this may be confusing, but I really need your help, please, I love him!”

“Don’t worry, I think I might know his brother and what’s going on.”

Back in the ocean, Luigi is struggling against King Boo, trying to escape his grasp but somehow, the ghost’s grip is tighter than he though. Polterpup tries to fight his old master but a few Boos that had been hiding easily grab him.

“Oh, don’t worry little shrimp, it ain’t you that I’m after.”

“KING BOO THAT IS ENOUGH!”

The pair stop when they see Luigi’s father, the King of the ocean along with Mario stop them in their path.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the red prince and the ruler of the seven seas.”

“Let my brother go!”

“No can do princey, precious little Lulu is all mine until you give me what I want.”

Luigi’s father growls at that.

“My son does not belong to you!”

He goes to use his magical trident, but a few boos grab Luigi and use some type of electricity on him, making the youngest prince scream out in pain.

“You see, the thing is your majesty, one wrong move and your precious little boy won’t be, how do I put this? Part of your world anymore.” (I am so sorry for that awful pun.)

The sea king was at a loss, he knew he would be putting everyone at risk by handing the trident and the throne to this made ghost but…he couldn’t lose his youngest son, from the corner of his eye, he could see Mario agree. He hands the trident over to King Boo, begging him not to hurt his son. With a mad gleam in his eye, he grabs the trident and lets Luigi go. To the green merman’s horror, the poltergeist points the artifact to his father and brother, watching in devastation as he turns them into dust.

With a strangled scream, he goes to attack King Boo, though surprised at Luigi’s reaction, manages to throw him to the ground. He’s about to use the trident on him when he suddenly feels something hit him. He looks up to see Bowser under the water, who had thrown a spear at him and raises the trident to him. In a moment of panic, Luigi grabs King Boo, making him point the trident at his boos instead and disintegrates them. Not wanting to witness King Boo’s anger, Luigi swims up to Bowser and guides him above the water, not witnessing the Boo’s fury with his new powers below him.

The koopa and merman reach the surface of the water, Bowser trying to reach out to Luigi.

“Bowser you have to go, now! Before King Boo gets you!”

“No, I’m not leaving you behind again!”

They feel a rumbling all around them. Suddenly, King Boo rises from the sea as a giant with the two on his head, cackling like a mad man. Bowser and Luigi jump back into the water, trying to escape until King Boo starts to form a whirlpool, separating them. Luigi falls into the whirlpool, landing at the bottom as Polterpup rushes over to him as King Boo taunts him.

Bowser is still paddling in the water, trying to get to Luigi when a ship comes up beside it. Inside was Princess Peach, some toads, koopas and Kamek. They throw a rope down to Bowser and help him up. Kamek looks to the king.

“I used my magic to help steer that boat but I’m barely holding on! I need you to guide the bowsprit and drive it into that mad boo!”

“But’s a ghost, he’s already dead!”

“I’ve managed to enchant so that I can trap him in this!”

Kamek holds up a pale purple gem, sparkling with some type of magic that the magikoopa used. Princess Peach then speaks up.

“I’m managing the sails while the toads and koopas are defending us! Bowser, are you able to guide the ship!”

“You can count on me Princess, take this as the beginning of a massive apology to you!”

Peach nods and everyone gets to work. King Boo is shooting at Luigi in the whirlpool, the merman trying to dodge as much as he can but knows that he is not strong enough to do anything. Enraged by what the Boo is doing to his love, Bowser drives the bowsprit into King Boo. The poltergeist screams with both pain and fear, knowing that if he can feel that then somehow, he has been defeated.

The seas calm down as the boo disappears into the gem. Bowser tries to look for Luigi, but the whirlpool is gone, and the merman is nowhere in sight. Kamek keeps him from jumping out as the princess guides the ship back to shore.

In the ocean, Luigi grabs the trident and rushes back over to where his father and brother were with Polterpup following him and sees the two have been returned to normal. Overjoyed, he hugs them both, all three of them crying now that Luigi is safe and home.

“I missed you so much Lu. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here when you went missing.”

“It’s okay Mario, I’m safe now, It’s okay.”

He gives the trident back to his father and the three mermen return home.

A few days later, Luigi is hiding behind a rock, Polterpup beside him as he watches Bowser from the shore of the Darklands, pining to see the merman again. Mario and his father watch from afar.

“You know, a while ago, Luigi would have fainted at the thought of going to the Darklands. Now, seeing how he looks at that koopa king, he’s gotten more braver than I ever imagined.”

“Peach told me that he jumped on Bowser’s shoulder’s just to get the crown off him.”

“Oh yes, how are you and that princess getting along?”

“Ah-I-wha-Dad!”

“I’m just teasing. Though, he hasn’t been truly himself since he came home.”

“I guess he left a part of himself since leaving the Darklands. After all, when you love someone, you give a piece of yourself to them, and in return, they grant you something even more freeing.”

“Then I guess there’s only one problem left.”

“And what’s that Dad?”

“…How much I’m going to miss him.” Mario raises an eyebrow in confusion for a moment before his father points his trident at Luigi.

Luigi feels a tingling sensation on his fins, looking down to see that there are no fins at all, his legs had returned! He turns to his father and brother, his smile beaming as the two nod to him.

Bowser is staring off into the distance, thinking about Luigi when he sees brown hair peeking out of the water. His heart stops when he sees Luigi emerging from the water in a sparkling green dress and his hair flowing in the wind. Bowser runs to him, picking him up and spinning him around in his arms and holds him as the two finally share a kiss.

A year later, the two are finally married on a giant ship, Luigi wearing a poofy wedding dress while Bowser is dressed in his finest suit. Luigi’s family and kingdom are watching from the ocean while toads and koopa finally come together as one. Princess Peach hugs Luigi, glad to have another human companion and blows a kiss to Mario in the ocean, who blushes at the gesture and waves back. Junior is also glad Luigi is back and is going to be his stepdad. He and Polterpup have also become close friends, the two playing together when they can. Kamek and Kammy are finally happy that Bowser has found love after all this time.

Mario asks his father to use to powers to lift him with the water to see his brother one more time. Luigi smiles softly and gives his brother a hug.

“Don’t cry big bro, I’ll see you after the honeymoon, you’re acting as if I’ll never see you again.”

“I’m sorry, its just, I’m so happy for you.”

“I love you, Mario.”

“I love you too Lu.”

He gives Bowser a menacing glare along the lines of ‘hurt my bro and I’ll end you’ before Peach comes over and kisses him on the cheek, making the red merman faint into the ocean. Luigi laughs at his brother’s antics as he waves goodbye to all the other mer-folk as the ship sails away to its next destination.

Bowser and Luigi give one another a soft look and share one more kiss.

The end.

You're allowed to yell at me for the shitty puns.

(Edit: also I love that you guys enjoyed it and you’re free to write something for this as it was only meant to be a drabble after having a bad day. As long as you credit and tag me, y’all can use this idea and write your own Bowuigi little mermaid fic ☺️)