#that's the least he could offer
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PC can enter Robin's room naked and I think this should be taken to the next logical step where both of you are sitting naked and PC just casually cockwarms him the whole day. And they are playing games <3
You know what? Exactly my point, but since PC doesn't really come to school too often anymore cuz she's been busy fooling around with Wren, smashing stuffs in Remy's estate, go hunt the Ivory Wraith,... She'd prefer reading some books stolen from Sydney to maintain her school performance than playing games all day.
*Sigh* I wish PC and the school kids could graduate. School performance's such a pain to maintain when there are too many other things to do.
#I mean what kind of best friends they are if they can't fill each other or keep each other warm amirite#totally what best friends would normally do for each other#beside I bet Robin'd be more than eager to help PC while she struggle to pay Bailey for him#that's the least he could offer#dol pc#robin the orphan#dol robin#dollya art#dollya ask#degrees of lewdity#for real tho what are they if PC can comfortably be naked around him all day but can't cockwarm him ALL DAY???#*Growl*#love interest my ass I WANT HIS CHILD IF I CAN'T MAKE HIM BEAR MY CHILD BIOLOGICALLY THEN LET ME HAVE HIS CHILD#*inhale*#*exhale*#that was so very unbecoming of me please excuse me I'll go put my head in the water to cool it off
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You wanna hear a good story? Listen to this one.
Mobius + comfort
#owen wilson#mobius#mcuedit#lokiedit#marveledit#loki#marvel#owenwilsonedit#dianagifs#CHARACTER OF ALL TIME FOREVER BELOVED#thank god this is my own post and i'm not about to write a tag essay under some pour soul's set bc here we go lmao#imagine MAKING comfort at a place like the tva!!#where we know what happened when he hesitated#and also explains the general antagonistic attitude towards him by most of the other hunters in s1 bc why would they respect him afterwards#but he never stops believing things will get better because if he can change so can anyone else#when d-90 essentially apologizes for KILLING him how could mobius do anything but offer forgiveness#when he himself had followed the guise of those same orders to kill and understands what it feels like to realize that#for all the reassurance and support he gives everyone else the most he ever allowed himself was a dream#which led to the same rapt attention and focus from a god no less in order to finally be seen for the first time and appreciated bc of it#then as always owen showed this in a million ways from microexpressions to line delivery so guess i'll just yell about it for eternity#(or at least some more in my mind since tumblr is cutting this off in search unless i trim the tags but y'all feel me ✌️😅)
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"A taste of the divine" A Series of Small Offerings - IV/2 - day34
#a series of small offerings#i know at least half of you gonna run with this anyway so yes he.. he is having a taste alright....................#sooo have fun i guess ? ??#but on a serious note#i've been fighting with this one but it's not gonna magically turn into what i wanted it to be so it is a good point as any to just leave i#i could refine the shading a bit more but i just.. i'm unsure if it would make it more what i want it to be or even less#i don't mind the very clear overtone what i mind is the lack of something that just hits#don't get me wrong#i can see it it's not techincally bad but overtone or not it's just has a different vibe altogether to it that i was going for#sleep token#vessel fanart#sleep token fanart#vessel i#vessel sleep token#sleep token vessel#vessel#sleep token band#sleeptoken#levynn tries to draw
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*me immediately after going through a terrifying and traumatic experience* haha yeah I guess it was rough but I'm fine now like I'm totally chill. It was kinda funny actually if you think about it
#GUESS WHO GOT A PIERCING INFECTION SO BAD OVERNIGHT SHE HAD TO RUSH TO THE HOSPITAL#AND GET SURGERY TO REMOVE IT BC THE METAL WAS BURROWING ITSELF INSIDE HER LIP#yep that was meee :3#man. it sounds so silly now. like that probably shouldn't have made me panic nearly as much as it did#but you have to understand at the time it was terrifying#I noticed my lip was a bit swollen earlier in the night but I was like ok it's probably nothing serious#I put some ice on it hoping it would be back to normal after I got some sleep#then I woke up at like 5:30 AM with my lip super swollen and my lip piercing literally burying itself inside my flesh#I tried pushing it back out a bit and blood and pus started coming out so yk I started panicking#so I went upstairs and I asked my mom to drive me to the hospital#luckily we have free healthcare in brazil and the hospital was basically empty(this was on sunday)#but when I got there they told me the doctor wouldn't arrive until 8AM and it was like 6:45 at that point#so I REALLY started panicking 🫠 bc I could feel like the piercing kept burying itself more deeply like#I felt like the skin inside my lip was going to close around it and I was terrified bc I had no idea what to do#and I was scared it might make things worse#but all I could do was sit there and wait and so I started having a panic attack#luckily my mom was there with me the whole time so at least I didn't feel alone#and then I just. waited for it to end. and then tried to keep myself distracted until the doctor got there#I got treated by military doctors! sjdjcjck the army has been giving additional support for hospitals in my city#bc of the floods some health units are currently closed and demand got higher so they needed extra support there#so an army doctor performed my surgery(inside an army tent no less ajfjjfkf maybe not ideal but. functional)#he was so nice?? like probably the calmest most careful doctor I've ever been treated by#I still had a bit of a nervous breakdown again after the surgery but that was bc I'd never been through something like that before#I got anesthesia obvs but I still felt the tug when he cut into my skin to remove the piercing and did my stitches#so my mind started cooking up all these horrible scenarios of how everything could go wrong and I was gonna die#cried on the doctor's table. 👍🏻 awesome#but he and his assistant were super nice about it she even offered me a hug#but anyway in the end I finally calmed down and got some medication#now I'm all stitched up with my little bloated lip eating soup out of a straw 👍🏻 but I'm ALIVE and I'm just glad it's all over fjjvjkf#sleep.txt
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I'm just sayin', Starstruck and Kirby would be adorable. But also Starstruck and Meta-Knight might be the funniest thing you could possibly do. :)
hear me out: peter pan (2003) window scene
been staunchly avoiding typing too much on most of these but i have some thoughts about this one!
you know... i had actually never even considered kirby for the shipaganza. mostly because i think of him as holding such a strong and unique position in the hearts of everyone who knows him, in a way that is devout but also seems fairly romance-free. and i'm actually very interested in the complex relationships that he has with his friends! but i wonder if not considering him was maybe a disservice, because if anyone has an abundance of the capacity for love, it's him, right?
i think that kirby could eventually occupy a similar heart-space for starstruck as bandee, though it would take longer. i strongly suspect that bandee's love of kirby would rub off on her, if nothing else.
i'm not sure either of them... really understand the premise of romance or dating, so it might not be a typical sort of thing. but i think they could giggle and laugh together and shoot each other slightly smitten looks when the other one isn't paying attention, and be very invested in each others happiness.
he adds a pass by her window to his early morning flight, on the off chance she might be up to join him. she's always thinking of him when he's off saving the world, and distinguishes his star from all the others in the sky with ease. the irresistible allure of adventure vs someone who has never seen any of the wonders of your planet before. someone who finds as much unrestrained joy and delight in the mundane as you do. eating paper cups you find on the ground.
you know i could see it.
#my art#kirby#starstruck dee#🎀💖#you know the scene where she's hesitating in the window and the music starts and he shoots her The Most infectious smile of all time#that one!!!#does anyone remember this movie?#i think if kirby showed up in the window offering a whimsical adventure and a charming smile nobody would think twice.#when i made this comparison i could NOT stop thinking about it. peter and wendy are a little too romo coded for my tastes in general#but there's a beautiful feeling of choosing freedom and delight in that scene. and i think kirby COULD be a little cheeky!!#the part where he blows the fairy dust all over her? you know i considered it. considered drawing the whole thing. barely resisted.#is this one canon to her? yes. i think so but not romantically. and this visit might be a special circumstance.#he's a busy little guy; he doesn't take her as often as he might like. certainly not as much as SHE would like. but i think... yes.#at least once. as a treat.#you know what i think could also be cute? kirby/bandee/starstruck triad. drop a braincell haver (bandee) in there.#three circles who are absolutely insane about each other in a surprisingly similar way. i think it could work? yes? no? thoughts?#<- prompt it if you wanna see it i guess!#also... starstruck and meta knight..... we'll come back to that! we'll circle right around. boy howdy will we circle back to *that*.#*laughs nervously*
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You really didn't think that one through huh?
idk if im sobbing, wheezing, or choking on my tea <3
#in short: AKSJBDAKSJDNASKNC#no yeah this is. The Accuracy lmfaooooooo#wally: avoiding the problem always works!#wally when avoiding the problem doesnt work: ....ohhhhhhh i get it now-#bbg pulled an oopsie fucking daisy!!!#wh modern human au#offerings to the bog#yk... i think. if the crash didnt happen#i think wally would have gone back. eventually#but not without Major fucking damage being done to his and barnaby's relationship lmaoooo#could they have come back from it? technically yes. but not the same. theyve lost something#BUT LUCKILY THAT'S NOT THE TIMELINE!#the timeline is worse but ends better somehow...#lmfao im imagining wally fuckin Ubering back bc home wouldnt start#and barnaby is just. in the front yard with wally's stuff in bags like a jilted lover asknasldknasldk#he winds up in sally's basement smhhhhhh#nah jk he'd probably wind up just living entirely in his lil garage-turned-art-studio#at least its a nice garage....#WHY AM I STILL THINKING ABOUT IT THATS NOT WHAT HAPPENS#< i say as if i dont think of at (alternate timeline) after at of aus-#what would happen If what would happen If If if If AAAAAAAA
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grif's surgery but just a little more... obvious?
I actually rly rly ADORE frankengrif but I don't have an in-show reason why he'd have extensive long-term allogeneic skingrafts on his face 😔
#rvb#red vs blue#dexter grif#grif#*24#mine#art#cw wounds#Look I love biology stuff like this so I like researching what would be at least semi-plausible even if it's just for a dumb halo show that#makes 0 sense where CPR cures a headshot but i cant help it!!! and like the 'lazy' reason for it would be sarge is just crazy like that but#its not a good reason imo. and like the things he lists needing replacement are mostly internal and body parts which makes sense#considering how grif got injured by sheila like I could 100% see that rupturing organs and crushing his hand and there being burns etc#but like nothing points to grif needing any surgery above the neck and i dont think anyone mentions his face being different? i could#make up injuries for him but nothing in the show actually supports that he'd need grafts for anything but his body..#I'm SOO ready to be convinced otherwise btw like I said I want an obvious frankengrif to be true so bad !!#AGH would it be too insane of me to make like a surgery/injury overview thing for grif just so i can convince myself abt this idea...#i can bend to some fun stuff tho im not a total joykill u know! thats why i give his body the mismatched donor skin look despite allogeneic#grafts not being permanent w/ current tech. like it really doesn't matter if it's realistic or whatever but also Yes It Does.#and like during/after chorus would grey offer to 'fix' it? i imagine the feds could mesh a skin so they could use grif's own skin..#or like during rats nest when they got reassigned?
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Do you think Edelgard perceives herself as a victim? I’ve been thinking and I can’t decide myself, on one hand she clearly hates the idea of people being victims or helpless, and constantly reframes the victims of the war as “necessary sacrifices” instead of, y’know, tragic causalities of a war she started. She plays up her sad backstory to try to get Byleth to join with her in WC, but then she does all these things to concentrate as much power as possible on herself. On the other (other) hand, she pushes the culpability of the war on everyone except herself, and has trouble taking accountability. She’s obsessed with controlling everything but she doesn’t want to be blamed for the problems she’s created. What do you think?
Oh!
(sorry for replying one literal month later lol)
I find Supreme Leader hard to write because of this, but in a way, I believe that yes, she does.
However, for all the flak Faerghus gets for "ToXiC mAsCuLiNiTy" and "Chivalry BaD", there's something very toxic with the way some Adrestian victims (often women... blame the writers I guess?) deal with their abuse.
I'm not going to spend a lot of time on Doro because I already typed a lot about her, but while she still sees herself as a victim from what she endured and suffered in her childhood, she adopted the toxic mindset of "this suffering is a thing of the past and I grew from that/beyond that to become the person I am now" - which we can also see in Manu who suffered from, roughly, the same traumas.
Petra also follows this pattern, being a hostage and treated like shit, but she grow "beyond" her status of a victim to become the strong person she projects and believes she is - it's only out of House that she realises more accutely her status within the Empire, the reality of her situation and, in Houses, refuses vassalage to Adrestia to make her country independent without having to "ask the Emperor".
It's the same pattern : "I was a victim" but "I became strong" so "I am not a victim anymore, this is something of the past".
Applied to Supreme Leader...
Well, trying to ignore the Agarthans and her dad's own infuence on her character (which is kind of hard, since the games try their hardest to make Agarthans responsible for everything BaD and we're not clear on how much they had an influence on her), I think Supreme Leader believes she was a "victim" of abuse.
But - through further abuse and surviving said abuse - she became strong* enough to "not be a victim anymore".
Which is why her line of "if the weak remain weak it's their fault" feels like it echoes part of her mindset : she was a victim but became strong enough, maybe by hardening her own feelings to become "strong", so she is not the same helpless "victim" she once was.
If she managed to do that, then everyone can do the same.
As for the "necessary sacrifices", since early 2019 someone theorised that "the people" she pretends the fight for as seen as some general "concept", much like the "greater good". So if some people are sacrificed, it's for her ideals - the goal and aim of her newfound strength - , and it piles on her drive, she must realise them otherwise those people would have died (and she would have suffered) for nothing.
However, despite acknowledging her past self as a victim, and because she's now "strong", she's not above using her past trauma (but actually, still present! Remember the rat scene?) to reach her goals, because, at her core, Supreme Leader is soemone who is very determined. Maybe it's her only drive to grow beyond the trauma, or her own illusions, or a mix of everything, but AM made it clear, Supreme Leader is not above, well, using herself if it means seeing her goals come to fruition : unlike Lobotogard from AG, AM!Supreme Leader willingly transforms in Hegemongard.
This is the cost she's willing to pay, so while the memes about Lord Farqaad were on spot, I still think that Supreme Leader is ultimately willing to sacrifice** herself for her goal (but only when there's no other way to ensure her future will come to fruition, and in a way, I guess she thought she would survive the Hegemon transformation, jury's out on what she meant to do in AM's finale, but imo, she still tried, even beaten and battered as she was, to claim Dimi's head).
Ultimately I think everything's a bit muddled by the fact that, as @fantasyinvader pointed out, Supreme Leader is a liar and knows the importance of maintening good PR.
She lies and manipulates the truth to reach her goals (which again, is a red flag when CF claims to want to restore the "distorted history" of Fodlan!) and for all the flak I give them, the devs managed to scrap enough material to give us a peek in Adrestia's mindset (or at least its top nobles), they're not people who self reflect, they are salty because they aren't ruling the world anymore, and they feel like they are better than the rest of Fodlan.
Put everything in the mixer, and you indeed have Supreme Leader (but also her court, especially Ferdie in SB who dares to say, as he is invading and trouncing people who don't really like and accept the idea of being invaded, that the fear those people feel are only in their mind, or something like that? Like, dude, you're rolling over their people and country, of course they'll fear and hate you!) giving her weird rhetoric lines (why are people opposing me if they are going to die?), victim blaming (something Treehouse swallowed like honey, if their lolcalisation is anything to go by, remember, it's Rhea's fault for not offering her head on a platter that is the reason why the War continues in CF!) and so on.
IDK if the devs wanted to bank that much on the Dany parallel with her "if I look back i am lost", but again, I don't know if her drive to make a "better Fodlan" is motivated by her trauma, Adrestian revanchism, Ionius telling her dumb things or Agarthans agarthaning, but her goal and vision are everything to Supreme Leader.
So she will do anythign to see them realised, even if it means sacrificing her people, starting a war, tweaking "the truth" or using her own trauma to motivate and recruit powerful people who might assist her with her goals.
To reply to your question, IMO she sees herself as someone who had once been a victim, but won't let that stop her from reaching her goals, even if it means creating thousands of "hers" in the process, because, in her mind, reaching her goal is more important than anything else.
*I know, she refutes Dimitri's claim that she is "strong" or laughs at it, but imo, it was more in the sense of "I was weak and became strong" so everyone can "become" strong.
**I don't think she wanted to throw away her life, but more something in the lines of "putting my life on the line" or sacrificing her precious (and to see how precious it is, just play CF lol) humanity.
#mgphotogirl#replies#the way the games are written no one truly holds her accountable for the war and the WC events#the parley scene tries but then it forgets everything to talk about visions and whatnot#without even going in the 'your allies framed Dedue's people for something they never did and you are using demonic beast for fuck's sake'#territory like seriously it's so mild#Being in an UO mindset now I'm still baffled at how Alain at least delivers some venom and hatred to the guy who#trampled over the continent and doesn't deserve to him to be called its king#even if he puts his hatred aside to purify and offer him salvation#but in Fodlan? there's no hatred or feelings about the war or the WC events#I mean you could believe they're arguing about what dish should be cooked for a birthday#or they're in a heated philosophy class#This verse's pathological need to make sure she's never held accountable for her actions#bled in FEH and in even in FE17 :(#Imo Supreme Leader could have been a fascinating character#if only they dialed back on the uwu and teasets prospects#and i say that not only because we would still have fans going all 'arvis did nothing wrong as he cooked his younger brother on a low flame#for Supreme Leader but because the 'driven by their convictions to the point of abandoning why they wanted to do X in the first place'#for a female character in the FE franchise would really have been progressive in the 'yes women too can be red emperors'#fodlan nonsense#tbh going from Hegemongard in AM to AG's Lobotogard really hurts#but as a certain youtuber said#Lobotogard was designed with a certain bait in mind#and I'm pretty sure it was the only way to get some unconclusive 'everyone survives ending' without slaughtering Dimi or Supreme Leader#characters at least
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sonic as a distorted mirror of maria. someone who has so much love for the world they live in (that twists and turns bitter as they're taken away from it). someone who will do what they deem right regardless of what others think (whether what they're doing is the right thing in the end). someone who protects those they love at any price (be the cost their own life, the life of someone else, the Order of things). bravery (to the point of foolishness), care (to the point of destruction), naivety (that gains notes of cynicism as they mature), sincerity (that turns into lies meant to spare those around them from a truth that hurts).
now enter shadow, who grew up observing the slow distortion of someone dressed in blue. who notices familiar patterns in this friend he's made.
#soda offers you a can#lore drabbles#i feel like im uninterested in sonic-maria parallels generally#but that might be because it starts and ends with “they're blue”#with maybe a nod to how they both love(d) the earth#but it could be interesting if taken further. if maria's state at the end of her life reflects something that could happen to sonic#a possible outcome should certain conditions be met if you will#and the only person who could ever observe such warning signs being shadow. because he's seen it happen before#(at least early warning signs. others would obviously notice eventually)#(but would it be too late by then?)
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Interest Check: Isopuppy Plushies
Anyone interested in buying isopuppy plushies?
Either as a pattern or actual sewn-by-me toys. Because I have crocheted So Many Toys over my children, and I am thinking it's time to go back to sewing for awhile, but I should also stop rampantly making toys without homes to send them to. So. Casual interest check. I am absolutely making one for myself; this just determines if I should go through the effort of making an actual pattern so I can replicate the process.
#interest check#I like making things#then I run out of room for the things#the tragedy of the compulsive crafter#I have made Two Entire Blankets over this newborn and husband is very supportive#but I can see him eyeing our overfull blanket closet#and wondering when we will have so many blankets that he is inevitably smothered in his sleep#I would offer to sell crocheted blankets but they would be So Expensive#if you ever get a crocheted anything from someone#make sure to thank them profusely#because that is hours and hours of love#that is also why this isn't an offer for crocheted isopuppies#I could make a pattern for that easy#but oh boy would it take so much time compared to a sewn version#not looking for a cost prohibitive Seal Jerky here#just an adorable impulse-buyable pupper#I REALLY want to make little bean-filled ones that can curl up into baseball-sized balls for Playing Fetch#and a bigger version with suction cups on the legs so Good Boys can go up walls (or at least windows and bathroom mirrors)#but what I SHOULDN'T do is make a million hilarious versions that are going to collect dust#ADOPT AN ISOPUPPY TODAY#avatar the last airbender#atla#Salvage#Zuko#the amazin
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The fact that Kaz and Inej are, fundamentally, just two children trying to look out for each other in a place that left them for dead...
#like. that's it. that's the core of it. kaz saw another child left to rot and offered her the closest thing to safety that he could.#he gives her a room with a lock a knife to hold so she can sleep soundly and at least die on her feet with a fighting chance.#she climbs into his window with whispers and secrets to give them more power. they watch each other's backs and keep each other company.#'i can help you'#i'm walking into the sea#kanej#six of crows#kaz brekker#inej ghafa
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I really hope we get to see Callum go unhinged and war crimes and murder WITHOUT Aaravos's influence because he talks big about darkness but...
"Messed up inside and I mess up everything I touch". Callum, you have done literally nothing wrong ever, you don't deserve the emo Byronic hero lexical field. But do you know who's EARNED the right to say that?
saves his dying son. But has to kill his mentor for it. His beloved wife is horrified, she leaves him, breaking their family.
ends up shifting the blame on the very baby boy he sacrificed everything to save. He became a monster to save Soren and monsters don't make good parents even when they try.
But had he not saved Soren, he would have hated Lissa for preventing him to do so, and the family would have been broken regardless
inadvertently has Claudia taking charge of his and Soren's emotional well-being since he's too much of a workaholic to do so himself
wants to save two realms from starvation. He does. But not only he fails to rescue the two queens of Duren, his friend dies in his arms rescuing him.
His only friend ends up blaming him for everything that ever went wrong before committing suicide. Viren tries to die for him instead but is rejected
He orders his son to kill the princes, Harrow's sons
He orders Claudia to choose to save the dragon egg over Soren if she is forced to choose. Which is understandable, after all Soren chose to be a soldier, and Viren has proven he was ready to do the same
He destroys Lux Aurea simply by walking in
Soren leaves him
He dies a horrifying death. Claudia, his sweet, treasured daughter, goes through unfathomable sufferings to bring him back, to the point that he realises the only good he can do for Claudia, for Soren, for the world, is to leave it. The world is better off without him and he finally knows it
He tries to apologise to Soren but realises it will only harm Soren even further
He commits suicide.
Meanwhile, what has Callum ever done wrong ?
Crushing already dead slugs.
Come on.
#tdp#tdp callum#tdp viren#tdp salt#yes Im salty that these two never got to interact#Viren could have seen Callum going off the rails and go “hoho young man there is no way I stand by while you repeat all my mistakes”#Callum could have blamed all of Viren's wrongdoings on Aaravos since Callum now knows first hand what being possessed feels like#offering Viren a golden excuse to all of his deeds#which Viren would refuse thus proving he's determined to be held accountable#and Callum would be horrified#but still losing it when Rayla is in danger#I love Jim Lake and Strickler's dynamic and hoped we would see the same between Viren and Callum#Callum was given a choice between saving Rayla's family and cutting ties with Aaravos forever but he got to take his cake and eat it AGAIN#the protagonists keep having no consequences for their actions#“dark magic is the shortcut” my ass#at least Ezran has been through failures this season#but that's about it#anyway viren best character#tdp lord viren#lord viren#king viren
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Ice: You know if I was ever to marry someone I would want them to be at least a little bit intelligent
Slider: Yeah sounds like you
Maverick stumbling into the room almost falling face-first on the ground: Do snakes have a really long neck or just one leg?
Ice with heart eyes: Nevermind I want that one
#and they lived happily ever after#ice casually decided he wanted the dumbest bitch this planet could offer#but at least he's cute#tom iceman kazansky#pete maverick mitchell#ron slider kerner#icemav#top gun#top gun (1986)
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So Vash does wave Meryl goodbye with a smile since he knows full well what he's soon going to find himself in, he might not have known the exact details that entailed, he still knew that he was likely was not going to get out of it unscathed at the very least but I also think that he does this because he notices Roberto's gotten injured by the time he makes it into the elevator with Meryl.
He might not have been able to see the nail sticking out or the blood that will soon seep into his shirt but he could have seen him clutching onto the side of his torso which already isn't a good sign since that's where a couple major organs are located, and knowing that he and Meryl had just run from a barrage of nails Elendira generated out of thin air right as he and Wolfwood got there, he could have put two and two together and figured out that Roberto hadn't managed to make it out unharmed like Meryl did.
He could have thought that they would be able to get it treated at a nearest hospital in the city in time, but he also could have thought that they wouldn't be able to get it treated in time or at all with the size of Elendira's nails and just where one of them had gotten lodged in
and that's part of the reason why his smile looked so forced in this scene because by the time he got to Meryl and Roberto it was already too late Roberto was going to die soon from blood loss and Meryl was going to be devastated when she finally turned around and found out. @tristampparty
#Trigun#Tristamp#Trigun Stampede#tristampparty#Meryl Stryfe#Roberto De Niro#Vash the Stampede#Vash Saverem#In that case do you think that it hurt him to think that Meryl would have to deal with Roberto's imminent death on her own?#That he couldn't be there to offer her comfort or to at least help her bury his body?#Or do you think that's also why he doesn't say a word when he waves her goodbye because he thought the best thing he could do for her#now that she was out of harm's way was to never have anything to do with her again after he's already failed to save them both
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the most gorgeous man I've ever known sent me a drunk voice message hurt that i left my job at the bar he goes to without telling him and adding that he saw me on tv speaking about palestine, which turned into me telling my ex boss to give him my number, and the sober voice message was much worse because this sweet guy just tells me that he's so proud of me and then i can feel him like talking with a constricted throat saying he understands that i left and closes with "from the river to the sea" and doesn't it just suck that some things have no hope of ever beginning and yet still end somehow
#there is literally no way something could have come of it he lives in that pub and i don't want to go back there#he has addiction problems and I never had a relationship with anyone#it still sucks that these are facts cause i liked him a lot. and also im not kidding when i say he is the hottest dude I've ever seen.#this is maybe the first time i wish i was heterosexual and/or have less impulse control#radio live transmission#sorry over sharing again cause the psychologist still has to tell me when the first appointment will be#(they kinda also told me i dont really need one which is funny bc the first time i try not to do things alone in my life#bc im pretty sure this hyper self reliant and aloof behavior might be a problem and im told actually im doing splendid.#i won at therapy ig)#also i told everyone there that i moved back home because im a lying liar and#thank god he still hasn't done the math that he saw me on tv still in turin#ive had Cold as Ice by the Foreigners playing on loop the entire day trying to get back in character#like. you'd think if i HAVE to experience something close to heartbreak then at least i could have had sex with the#hottest guy in the city. no. i just get the half assed symptoms of it after having conversations with him every weekend for three months#ranging from his cocaine addiction to police violence to the one time he was staring at nothing by the store room where i went to pick stuf#and he offered to take me to miami and i panicked and joked that he didnt have the money and left.#this sucks.
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that’s really the core of lucifer, i suppose. he knows that something horribly, desperately, unspeakably wrong was done to him. and god did that. so. there’s nothing that can be done but to accept it as it is.
#there’s something about how lucifer is barely. angry. in s5. right?#or like. not outwardly. not explosively. she’s bitter and resentful and mean. but she’s not. she’s not really Angry.#doesn’t yell. only lashes out when provoked (<- thinking of hammer of the gods gabriel scene.) she’s just. doing what she knows she has to.#but at the same time when she talks to sam she tells him to stay angry. tells him she’ll need that anger.#tells nick that god wronged him. tells sam to get angry. and she’s. i don’t know how to put it exactly.#it just stands out to me is all. that lucifer is primarily just sad. that the times that breaks aren’t for her to get furious but for her to#be a little silly. a little joyful. a little indulgent. you know its the flip between genuine sadness over the grave in carthage to smiling#when he tells sam ‘don’t go anywhere! not that you could if you wanted to!’ its the offering of demons for sam to kill and the star wars#reference.#lucifer knows she never really got out of the cage in s5. is what i think im saying.#but at least it got a little bigger for her before she gets put down.#lucifer spn
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