#that's the first thing I thought seeing that sign
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So fucking true. My intrusive thoughts made me terrified to see a therapist at first. Because they were going to look at me and immediately know I was a danger to society or something. Then the therapist printed out this thing on Pure O OCD and I was just like “Oh, thank fuck.”
Still took me forever to realize I actually HAD OCD and that it wasn’t just ~spicy anxiety~…
Though now that I’ve gotten better at recognizing and defusing the “big, bad” ones, my intrusive thoughts have become a lot “smaller” and more subtle, which I found out in therapy yesterday.
The “big, bad” ones? Stuff like “what if I grab that knife and stab someone” might as well come with a flashing neon “OCD!” sign. Cognitive defusion, BAM!
Subtle, only personally distressing ones? Oh, that’s just a “normal” thought. Cue rumination and reassurance seeking, my ~favorite~ compulsions! Except I don’t realize that’s what I’m doing. Because I don’t realize it’s my OCD/an intrusive thought.
Like “what if I don’t want to learn piano anymore”? Now that is a sneaky intrusive thought. Because then I start spiraling about how I’ve wasted time and money on learning, how I’ve let myself and my teacher down, how I don’t practice enough (what even is enough?), how I’m not making progress like I should be (by whose standards?), how I don’t even know whether or not I even want to quit (because how does someone actually know that kind of thing?)… And I become increasingly more distressed about it all and am sitting there hardcore soul searching, making pros and cons lists, and the guilt is eating me a-fucking-live.
Aaaand. Surprise! Turns out that was my OCD in a trench coat! Because why would that be OCD? That’s just a normal thought, isn’t it? Plenty of people wonder if they enjoy something and if they should continue it, don’t they?
Absolutely! Just not like that!
This rambling reblog brought to you by my therapist starting a question to me yesterday with, “When you have intrusive thoughts like that…” and my mental response being:
Just wanted to share because I had no fucking clue and wish I’d realized those were intrusive thoughts sooner so I could’ve been treating them as such instead of unintentionally compulsing/lapsing.
I mean OCD is definitely very personal and obsessions and all vary widely from person to person, which can make it hard to pinpoint stuff like that sometimes. One person’s intrusive thought very easily can just be another’s regular thought. It’s hard to tell sometimes when they aren’t like the more examples you usually hear about, i.e. things that would be distressing to most people, which is why they’re used as examples.
For this Disability Pride Month, I saw a post that was shittybad and it made me angry. So have this
#just got casually murdered in therapy yesterday#at least now i know#and knowing is half the battle…#intrusive thoughts#actually ocd#ocd
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I Can See You [Spencer Reid]
Summary: You've been dating Spencer for almost a year and you are yet to tell your big brother, Aaron
Warnings: bad writing 🤣. fluff, some angst
Word count: 1764
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Hotchner!Reader
You hadn’t meant to keep it a secret this long. You didn’t want to. But when it came to you dating, your brother was way too overprotective. You loved him to death for it but it also pissed you off to no end.
Spencer freaked when he found out that you were Hotch’s baby sister and even broke it off for a while because he felt as though he was betraying him. But you had crept into his heart and you weren’t planning on vacating any time soon.
Even when you weren’t together, you were the only thing on his mind. You’d be there constantly whilst he was on a case. He couldn’t concentrate and it was painfully obvious to everyone. Even Hotch. The latter pulled him aside and told him to fix what was going on before he got someone or himself killed.
That counts as his blessing, right?
As soon as they touched down in Washington he rushed over to your apartment to see you. Throwing quick goodbyes to everyone and not looking back.
“Pretty boy has a girl. I’m calling it,” Morgan called out, pointing at the quickly retreating Spencer.
That was almost 11 months ago. 11 months of sneaking around behind your brother’s back. Which wasn’t too much of an issue when you first started dating but now you were an agent in the Criminal Investigative Division of the FBI. That meant both you and Spencer had longer work hours and often different schedules. So sometimes you two decide to see each other at the office. You knew it was risky and quickies in the car doesn’t compare to the bedroom but you both took what you could get.
However, recently, Spencer had been arguing that maybe it was time to tell your brother. You assumed he felt guilty. Not guilty enough to stop the sex in the FBI garage but guilty enough.
He did feel guilty but there was another reason he wanted to tell your brother.
You wanted to tell Aaron too. Really you did. But you’ve put it off so long that you know that he’s gonna be disappointed you didn’t tell him sooner. Anger you could take but the one thing you never wanted to do was disappoint him.
He was your idol. Your hero. The person you’ve always looked up to. The one you wanted to make proud. That’s why you joined the FBI. You wanted to make him proud. And he was, he just wished you’d picked a safer occupation.
He was concerned and worried every time you and your team left the office and was finally able to breathe when you arrived back. If he was away on a job when you came back you went to see Penelope or Peach as you called her. It was a deal you made with Aaron so he knew you were okay. Spencer didn’t oppose to this arrangement either because all he had to do was look at Hotch and he’d know that you were okay.
But one day, that call from Penelope was a little different. The team had come back... without you.
The simple arrest of Washington’s newest drug kingpin had turned into a kidnapping. Yours.
The BAU team couldn’t do anything but wait for the plane to land in Washington. In four hours time. Hotch hadn’t said a word. Neither had Spencer and the moment he didn’t make his move on the chess board, everyone took notice.
He just stared out the window and waited. Images of what you were going through at that very moment flashed though his mind. Were you hurt? Were you scared?
Were you alive?
Even your brother had snapped out of his thoughts and took notice of his lack of presence inside the jet. Sure he’d noticed your closeness but he didn’t think anything of it. You were close with Penelope and JJ too. But as he started to think back, he starts to see all the little signs. Small things.
But one thing in particular was how comfortable Spencer was with you. So easily comfortable. It all started to become clear. Aaron had figured you were seeing someone but you wouldn’t tell him who and as you’ve grown older you’ve become more adept at covering your tracks. Morgan also speculated on multiple occasions that Spencer was seeing someone.
What should he feel? Anger because you didn’t tell him or betrayal because you’re his sister and Spencer was one of his agents? His baby sister. And no matter how old you were, that’s what you were always going to be.
He would’ve been completely pissed. Shouting, demanding answers and an explanation if it wasn’t for what he was seeing in front of him.
Worry, fear, pain and helplessness. The same thing he’d see if he looked in the mirror right now. He didn’t have to ask. He knew.
When the plane finally landed, the team wasted no time in getting back to the office. Aaron inserts himself into the operation to get you back, not taking no for an answer and Spencer is right there with him.
Even when he was ordered not to interfere because he was too close, he did exactly that. You were in trouble, no way was he not going to tear up the entire state looking for you.
He told the team to stand down, not wanting them to get into trouble for defying a direct order but none of them budged. At this point, you were their family too.
The longer you’re missing the more it takes it’s toll on Spencer. So much so that he’s the first one to lash out at your boss when it’s found out that there has been a ransom made in exchange for your return to no action had been taken to do that.
“We’re not going to hand over all the evidence for his trial,“
”The hell we won’t,“
“We can’t—”
“—leave her there”
“Reid,” Aaron spoke, his voice loud to get his attention but no anger was in it. He reached a hand out and placed it on his shoulder, gently pulling him away from your boss “so,” he started, stepping forward to take his place, “What exactly are you doing to find my sister?”
“I don’t tell you how to run your team Hotchner, don’t tell me how to run mine,”
“Alright listen here,” Aaron stepped closer, right in his face, “if one hair on her head is out of place, I swear I’ll—”
“Hotch!”
“What?!”
“Maybe we should just give them some space to work and—”
”they’ve had five hours and they barely know where she was snatched from,“
Gideon gave him a look. One that told him to play along. He did and the team followed him to their usual conference room. Each of them branching off to do what they do best, working tirelessly to get you back.
And they did this for hours until Morgan got a text from Penelope, who conveniently was lounging at your desk.
They received a video
Aaron and Spencer rushed out of the office and down to yours. Your brother had tried to stop him from going, not wanting him to see you in a possibly horrific state but he couldn’t stop. He had to see you and he did.
He tried to ignore the blood, the wounds and focus on your hands, that to your captors, were wriggling due to the ache of them being tied up for hours but to Spencer and the others it was a message.
Trains... every 12 minutes... the only clue you knew about your whereabouts, and you knew that maybe it wouldn’t be enough so you added a little something to prepare for that.
I love you
With the reminder of their demands, the video fades to black, much like your vision.
Your eyes only opened again when you heard gunshots and shouting. The voices sounded familiar but muffled, far away. Perhaps you were imagining them and you were convinced you were until a door clanged open.
Someone called your name, followed by the sound of running footsteps, that got louder with each step. It wasn’t long until the footsteps stopped and a figure knelt down beside you.
”Angel?“ he spoke softly, his hands moving to cup your cheeks. His thumbs wiping the tearstains away.
”you found me“
”Yeah, Angel, we did,“ he replied, moving to untie your hands. As soon as you were free, you threw your arms around him, holding on so tight because you were afraid that he’d disappear. He moves his head slightly to the side to press a kiss to your temple, ”I love you too, Angel“
”I love you more,“
You smile, pulling away. He got your message. The smile faltered slightly when you looked up and your brother came into view.
Uh oh. Did he know?
You didn’t know what to expect. The thought of losing your brother was worse than the pain you had been through the past god knows how long.
You had thought about him finding out so often and he was angry, disappointed, betrayed. None of your playthroughs of this moment ever ended happily.
”I’m so glad you’re safe, (y/n),“ he smiled, leaning down to press a kiss on your head like he had always done.
”you’re not mad?“
Spencer looked up at him too, curious about the answer himself.
”of course not,“ he said, okay a little lie but you’d been through enough and he’d be stupid to ignore what was right in front of him.
Your eyebrows scrunched as you lift you head from Spencer’s chest, moving closer because you were sure you misheard him, ”you’re not,“
He sighed opening his arms for you to hug. You didn’t waste any time, tears falling as you sob into his shoulder, ”I thought you’d be mad, and I’d lose you,“
”I was mad at first,“ he admitted, one of his hands stroking your hair in a soothing rhythm, ”because you didn’t tell me,“ he added and you started apologising profusely but he stopped you, ”I’m not anymore because the truth is—“ He patted Spencer on his shoulder ”—you couldn’t have chosen a better man“
You smiled so much of the way home. So much so, you thought your cheeks were stuck like that.
You had asked Aaron if he wanted to join you two for dinner and after you giving him that look you always gave him to get whatever you want, your best puppy dog eyes, he said yes.
#female reader#reader insert#criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds fanfic#hotch's baby sister#hotchner!reader#dr spencer reid#Spotify
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Old Bloodhounds
P51 | jeong y/n
"Thank you for this, Park. I appreciate it." Taeyong spoke tiredly into the phone, and he could hear Chanyeol laugh on the other line.
"Kid, you've worked with me for nearly a year now, ease up a bit and just call me Chanyeol. Here, the name at the top of the list, Kim Soyeon, owns a café in Sinchon. Says here it's supposed to close in another hour. Hey, I'll give you the rest of the info through text—just get going already, Yongie." Chanyeol's voice took a sober turn, understanding the current mood. It was also Chanyeol who ended the call right after.
Kyungsoo had texted him you were currently undergoing emergency surgery, and you were probably getting out of it the next morning considering the stab wound punctured your lung and broke through your ribs. The paramedic also found that there was a nasty gash at the back of your head, a possible concussion...or worse. Taeyong cringed when he read the details of your injuries, but he shook his head.
You were going to make it out alive, he was sure of it. From what he had gathered from Kyungsoo about who you were as a person, you were strong, and you'd been good in keeping your promise to them to hold on—so Taeyong had a lot of trust in you that you'd keep that promise 'til the end.
Nobody on the list was picking up his calls, it's why he asked for Chanyeol's assistance in gathering more info regarding the people on your list. When Chanyeol's text came through, Taeyong focused on the address of Kim Soyeon's café.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
When Taeyong parked the car, that's when he noticed the bloodstains you had left on his jacket and shirt. His jacket was already black, so it didn't really show, but his button-up shirt under the jacket was light blue—now partly red, soaked in your blood. He took out his wet tissue packet and cleaned his jacket before zipping it all the way up. Glancing at his cleaned up watch, it was currently 8:21 p.m. He got out of the car with a heavy feeling lingering in his chest.
As he got to the café's front entrance, your note in his hands, he noticed that the sign on the front entrance said 'CLOSED' and another note below said 'PRIVATE EVENT'. Since the café had large window panes all over, he could see there was a private celebration inside, and there were mostly young adult attendees. He knocked on the glass door, and a kind looking middle aged woman opened the door, not exiting fully.
"Good evening. I'm sorry, but the café is closed to the public for now—"
Taeyong shook his head awkwardly and took out his badge, showing it to her.
"My name is Lee Taeyong, and I'm a detective from Gangnam's Police Force. Ma'am, do you happen to be Kim Soyeon?" This wouldn't be the first time he had to do a house visit to inform a victim's family, but it never got easier.
And it never will.
Soyeon paused, before exiting the café completely and closed the door behind her. Nobody noticed the exchange happening, too caught up in their own conversations.
At first, Soyeon thought he was here to inform about her ex-husband—maybe found dead from alcohol poisoning somewhere in Gangnam, or he was arrested and needed someone to bail him out. So that was the first thing she asked.
"Is this about my ex-husband?" Soyeon pursed her lips a little, hugging herself in the cold autumn night.
"No, ma'am, it's regarding...it's Jeong Y/N. I understand that— based on this note she gave me—you're close with her?" Taeyong felt like he was speaking with a mouth filled with molasses. His tongue felt heavy, and even his lips too.
He showed the note to Kim Soyeon, suddenly finding himself tongue-tied. When she read the contents of the note, her hands began to shake as her grip on the note tightened, crumpling the paper.
"...she's like a daughter to me. Did something happen to her?" She spoke in a near whispery tone, and Taeyong almost didn't hear her.
When Soyeon clarified her relationship with you, calling you a daughter figure to her, Taeyong's heart broke into two as he felt shame creeping up his body. He moved to kneel before her, making her shriek, because she knew that a detective wouldn't kneel to a random civilian unless something really bad actually happened to you.
Everyone else in the café froze in silence when they heard her shriek and turned to the glass doors of the front entrance, seeing an unknown man kneeling in front of Soyeon. Geonwoo marched up to the front entrance, opening the glass doors immediately, worried for his mother. Woojin was just right behind him.
"Mom, what's going—"
She bent down, hands on Taeyong's shoulders as she pulled on his jacket, and as his jacket rode up, his bloodstained shirt under peaked through, gaining Woojin's attention at just how soaked in blood it was. The note dropped on the pavement near Taeyong's knees.
"WHAT HAPPENED TO HER? WHERE'S Y/N! TELL ME!" Soyeon yelled loudly, pulling the attention of the people inside and outside of the café.
Yuno and his father, upon hearing your name, quickly went to the front entrance too, wondering why Soyeon was shrieking out your name like a mad woman.
Geonwoo held his mother, confused with what she was talking about. Yuno noticed there was a written note near Taeyong's knees and bent down to pick up, freezing when he recognized the writing.
"Jeong Y/N was found beaten and stabbed multiple times near downtown Seoul—and is currently receiving emergency surgery at TaeHo Memorial Hospital. I'll explain everything once we get to the hospital, ma'am. My partner is there waiting for Y/N to get out of surgery."
Mark who was huddled up near the entrance with the rest of the attendees—wedged between Haechan and Yuta—dropped his drink to the floor, glass shattering on the tiles.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Yangyang truly didn't give a fuck. His name was also on the list, along with Xiaojun's and Aeri's, so they should be allowed to go to the hospital too. Aeri was crying in the passenger seat with Xiaojun sitting still in the back, looking like he was in shock. Yangyang pressed on the gas pedal when Geonwoo's Ford truck in front of him was beginning to get farther away from his McLaren.
Right in front of Geonwoo's truck was the detective's car, revolving light shining red and alarm ringing out loud in the night. Mark rode with Geonwoo and Woojin, while Soyeon, Yuno and your dad rode with the detective.
"God, please let Y/N remain among the living. Please, please, please... don't take her away from those who love her so soon..." Yangyang could hear Aeri's incessant prayers, making him slam his hand on the wheel at how heartbreaking it was to hear her pray through choked sobs.
Aeri was never that religious, and him and Xiao didn't even believe in anything at all—but he hoped that Aeri's prayers were heard and granted. In fact, even his heart was praying alongside Aeri.
He really thought they had moved past you now, he really did. At least, he thought he himself did. He remembered feeling nothing but disdain when he saw you at the post mortem meeting a week ago, and he thought that was him forgetting all about you.
But as he prayed in his heart, to a higher power he didn't even personally believe in, he realised he will always care for you no matter what, whether he wanted to or not.
He floored the pedal.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Geonwoo, Woojin and Mark ran to the waiting area, with your friends right behind them too. They came to see your father kneeling in front of a man standing beside Detective Lee, Mr. Jeong's hands pulling on the man's shirt—and they assumed that man was Taeyong's partner, Detective Do Kyungsoo. Geonwoo and Woojin were familiar with his name, albeit a little sparsely, because you had mentioned Detective Do before.
Yuno was bent behind your father, supporting the older man even when he himself was starting to crack, tears streaming down his face.
"How could someone as small as my daughter bleed this much!" Your father wailed, and it made Geonwoo and Woojin stop in their tracks as they fully took in Detective Do.
Kyungsoo had a haunted look across his face as he held your father's hands, and the shirt your father was gripping on was soaked in red. Even the cuffs of his corduroy jacket were bloodstained. Even his hands had dried blood on them. He was so soaked in your blood, they understood exactly what your father was feeling right now.
Pure unadulterated fear.
"Mom..." Geonwoo uttered out, and his mom broke down hearing her son's voice, urging him to go and be with her.
As soon she felt his arms around her, she let out a sob, "She was stabbed twice, it broke through her ribs and punctured her lung. They suspect a concussion too, based on the gash she had at the back of her head."
Yuno began to pull your father up, face suddenly blank of any emotions. It was as if hell froze over for him.
"You never told us who did this to her." Yuno spoke almost emotionlessly—but Mark, who had known him the longest besides your father, could tell he was furious.
Kyungsoo stared at his hands and shirt, feeling like he could never wash your blood off of him. He heard Yuno's question loud and clear, but he was just thinking on where he should start.
Did your fate get sealed the moment Junyoung stepped into the police station and filed a report on Yoonsu was exploiting you? When Junyoung suddenly disappeared right after he graduated? When Yoonsu managed to slip away as they busted down the doors of his establishment?
Or should he start with the fact that this all happened because of him and his old partner being reckless enough to involve a teenage girl in their investigation on a ruthless loanshark like Yoonsu?
"Hyung..." Taeyong spoke softly.
Kyungsoo took out your locket from his jacket's front pocket. He felt his heart drop when he noticed you were wearing this locket as you lied on the stretcher inside the ambulance. He recognized the locket—you had worn it before when you were still Yoonsu's prized girlfriend. This was the bugged locket Yoonsu made you wear.
That fucker was sick in the head.
Mark—of all people, Mark—walked up to Kyungsoo and gripped on the collar of his jacket, shaking the detective, frustrated with his lack of words. Everyone else balked at the sight while Woojin moved quickly to try and hold the younger man back, holding on to his shoulder, but Mark shook Woojin's hand off of him.
"Stop staying quiet, you bastard—tell us who did this to her!" Mark raised his voice.
"Mark!" Woojin yelled, and Taeyong was already trying to wedge himself between them too.
"It was Cha Yoonsu. Beat her up good, then he stabbed her twice before he stabbed himself in the throat...can't arrest a dead guy." Kyungsoo uttered out, voice as monotoned as Yuno's before.
Geonwoo and Woojin froze, while the rest of your friends and family were wondering just who the fuck was Cha Yoonsu? Geonwoo let go of his mother, beyond perplexed with Kyungsoo's answer. Didn't you tell them that Yoonsu was already dead more than a week ago?
"Cha Yoonsu? Didn't you make her come down to Gangnam mortuary a week ago to ID his corpse?" Woojin asked what Geonwoo was thinking, and the detective let out a scoff.
"Gosh, back then he even had me fooled. Held Y/N hostage with that blackmail hanging over her head and made her his puppet." Kyungsoo sighed, messing with his hair as he was reminded of how foolish he had been, thinking that the corpse on the mortuary slab was actually Yoonsu.
"What the fuck are you talking about? Who the fuck is Cha Yoonsu? And what do you mean by blackmail!" Yangyang broke out in anger, frustrated that he wasn't understanding a single thing coming out of anyone's mouth at the moment.
"And where's Junyoung? She had plans with him for tonight." Aeri spoke through hiccups, and Xiaojun wrapped an arm around her shoulders to calm her down once the shock wore off.
Kyungsoo and Taeyong felt like the fog was lifted; these people knew jackshit. No wonder they were fooled by Yoonsu's poor rendition of Junyoung—no wonder you left Taeyong that note. This was what you meant by not wanting to keep them in the dark anymore. They had very little idea on what you actually went through back then.
In fact, it was as if they had very little idea on who Jeong Y/N really was before they met her.
"I need all of you to sit first as I explain to you how everything led up to this. Please, take a seat everyone. I'm now well aware just how little you know about Y/N's past." Kyungsoo sighed.
"We know she was forced to work for a loanshark to clear her late stepfather's debt after our mother abandoned her." Yuno spoke out, and Kyungsoo tilted his head at him.
"Then how come some of you don't know who's Cha Yoonsu?" Taeyong asked sincerely.
"Who is Cha Yoonsu?" Yangyang asked again, still clearly frustrated.
Kyungsoo and Taeyong eyed Geonwoo and Woojin, because out of all of them, the ex MMA athletes were the ones that seemed to be aware of who exactly was Cha Yoonsu.
"Cha Yoonsu was the loanshark she was forced to work for. He had her working as a stripper at his illegal establishment, and also coerced her into a romantic relationship with him while she worked under him. This locket was gifted to her with the promise that he would marry her once her debt was settled." Kyungsoo explained thoroughly who Cha Yoonsu was, and what kind of man he had been, holding up the locket they had seen you wear ever since you introduced them to Junyoung.
Geonwoo and Woojin looked at each other—they didn't know that he had made you his girlfriend at one point while you worked for him. This was something you didn't tell them about your past—something you hid from them.
Everyone felt sick to their stomach, going pale at the realization this all happened when you were still a teenager.
Your father felt his knees going weak and practically dropped himself on the chair, while your brother felt bile coming up his throat imagining his teenager younger sister dating an adult man who obviously wanted to take advantage of you.
"What a disgusting bastard." Mark spoke out quietly, but you could still hear the fury in his voice.
"Lee Junyoung was Y/N's senior at Cheongdaebi High in Gangnam, it's where they met. They eventually became close friends. Junyoung was an illegitimate child of the Lee Media Conglomerate, so he had quite a reputation in Gangnam already. He also had a cousin on his stepmother's side who worked in Gangnam's Police Force Organized Crime Unit—that was my old partner, Kim Junmyeon.
When Junyoung found out Y/N was in an abusive relationship, and her boyfriend also turned out to be the loanshark who was exploiting her, he filed a police report to his cousin. We were already investigating Cha Yoonsu and building a case against him—so when we found out Junyoung's little friend was also Yoonsu's girlfriend, we roped her in. Made her our mole in Yoonsu's workforce." Geonwoo and Woojin bristled, finding it so reckless of them for putting you in a dangerous spot.
It was why Yoonsu was so hellbent in getting his revenge on you. Ignoring the way Geonwoo and Woojin were glaring at him, Kyungsoo continued.
"Yoonsu already kept an eye out on Junyoung because he was close to Y/N, but he was livid when he found out the kid filed a police report against him. Right after Junyoung graduated, he disappeared. Many thought he ran away from his family, but Y/N was convinced Yoonsu did something to him, so she filed a missing person's report for Junyoung.
Once we gathered sufficient evidence through Y/N's help, we busted down the doors of his establishment only for him to slip away after he could confirm it was Y/N that had been our informant—it was the botched operation of the decade." The older detective let out a bitter smile, remembering how harshly his captain had slapped him for letting Yoonsu slip away, and for letting you flee Gangnam.
"So the Junyoung Y/N introduced to us..." Xiaojun asked tentatively, horror written all over his face.
"It had been Cha Yoonsu who had cosmetic procedures done on him to look like Lee Junyoung. Y/N was well aware of who he really was, so she wasn't fooled in any way." Taeyong confirmed, making Xiaojun promptly ask the next question—
"Then why didn't she say something—anything to let us know she was in danger?"
Taeyong gulped, while a haze glazed over Kyungsoo's eyes. They remembered the first time they opened the blackmail file Yoonsu had over you. Pictures and videos—countless of it—of a teenager you in skimpy clothing, dancing upon the pole with slimy men surrounding you, and your face clearly showed that you'd rather be anywhere else but there.
"The fucker had a file filled with pictures and videos of her when she worked as his stripper—he blackmailed her with it. He also hacked her phone and made her wear this locket which—" Kyungsoo paused, holding up the locket again and opening it to show them the contents, "—contains a bug that could pick up on everything Y/N says. She was constantly under his surveillance. She was his hostage. Y/N was trapped. If she says one wrong thing, then those pictures will spread across her faculty, then her whole campus, the nation—anyone would know better than to take Yoonsu's threats lightly, even though he is a disgraced boss now."
"As some of you know," Taeyong began to take over, looking over to Geonwoo and Woojin as he stressed on 'some', "we had Y/N come down to Gangnam mortuary to ID a corpse we believed was Yoonsu's, and she did give us a positive ID—however, just three days after, she reached out to Detective Do through an unknown number and begged us to believe her when she said Yoonsu was still alive...and she was currently living with him.
It was a good thing Detective Do went ahead and sent the corpse to another mortuary that confirmed it wasn't actually Yoonsu's—and that's how we began to investigate this 'Lee Junyoung' Y/N was living with, and got to reopen the case against Cha Yoonsu. We got to hack into his phone and wipe out the blackmail file he had over her, and uncovered the text messages he exchanged with Y/N and—" Taeyong crossed his arms, taking a pause in telling the main points to address something that stuck to him ever since he read the text messages between you and Yoonsu.
"—I just want to let you know it was always in Yoonsu's plan for Y/N to isolate herself from you. Y/N never wanted to make you feel like you didn't matter to her, but he was blackmailing her to do so. Detective Do once told me she's people-centric, and Yoonsu was well aware of that. It was just a way for Yoonsu to put her through psychological torture."
Everyone's heart broke and tore itself apart hearing Taeyong say that.
Yuno dropped his head and covered his face with his hands, rubbing it when he was reminded of the argument he had with you before you moved out, how he had ignored you during your last days in the condo, practically treated you like you were an unappreciated houseplant. Now that he knew you never meant the things you said, but he had meant his every single word and action.
Geonwoo and Woojin were reminded of the last time they texted you through 'the crew' groupchat, and how Woojin had told you 'good riddance' when you confirmed you were moving in with 'Junyoung'.
Yangyang remembered how horribly he treated you, openly ignoring you to get his disdain for you across, the way you clearly looked uncomfortable and sad during the post mortem meeting for how they treated you. Aeri looked back and reminisced about the time you called each other 'soulmates', and how easily she got rid of the memories when she chose to ignore you from the day of the concert.
Xiaojun could never forgive himself for treating you like a distant acquaintance as if he hadn't told you his regrets and secrets that you still kept close to your heart despite the fallout. It was worse than just openly ignoring you—whereas Yangyang and Aeri were at least open with their dislike for you, Xiaojun treated you with indifference. As if he wasn't at all affected with you pulling yourself away from them, like he didn't really care for you at all.
Mark felt like puking when he realised the last time he argued with spoke to you, he had called you a coward. Of all the insults he could use that would at least be generic, surface-level and the least hurtful, he called you a coward. You were getting blackmailed, held hostage, and manipulated by a slimy bastard—and he called you a coward. As if you weren't being the bravest you'd ever been as you faced Yoonsu alone with no one else on your side. As if you haven't always been the bravest among them.
When everyone's reminded of their promise to forget you, it felt like their whole chest was caving in. When they tried to imagine just how alone you had been, how hurt you were to see them push you away, it felt like there were bullets getting lodged inside their chest for every time they yelled, berated, and ignored you.
Seeing everyone go quiet at the realization they had played a part in Yoonsu's plan to psychologically break you, both detectives sighed. Yoonsu intended for this kind of damage. Not only you suffered, but the pain also bled through to everyone else around you, to the people who love and care for you.
"It was just hours ago when we wiped out the file from his phone. Once we did it, we told Y/N to leave their apartment so we could get to arrest him, but she didn't listen. She..." Kyungsoo sighed in the middle, opening his phone and showed the text messages he exchanged with you just hours ago, "...she still followed him to where he was taking her because she still wanted to know what he did to Junyoung—where his body was buried. I know for a fact she had never stopped mourning for him...and it's why she felt responsible for his death. Why she decided to put herself in danger anyway, how she ended up getting beaten up and stabbed by Yoonsu—because that's just who she is. Jeong Y/N. So selfless, it's actually selfish."
That was the actualisation of who you really were. Selfishly selfless. They now know of who Jeong Y/N truly is at her core.
Damn you.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
"Jeong Y/N." The main surgeon spoke out hoarsely—she had been in that surgical suite for more than 6 hours.
It was in the dead of the night, the large digital clock in the waiting area displayed '03:06 A.M.' in blaring red. Kyungsoo and Taeyong stood up while the rest woke up who had dozed off into light slumber. They couldn't really sleep too deeply, when they're still not sure of your fate in that surgical suite.
When a total of 11 people came to her at the sound of your name, she nearly took a step back. This was a lot of people to be waiting for someone to get out of surgery.
"How is she, Doc?" Kyungsoo asked stiffly, feeling his breath slow as he waited for her to answer.
"She pulled through."
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
She's a fighter. One of the stab wounds managed to puncture her right lung, and even broke through her 8th and 9th rib. I managed to fix them up, of course, but with how much blood she was losing, within a rapid rate too, I wasn't all that optimistic that she would even make it—but she did. With the way she held on, she saved herself as much as I saved her.
"God, look at what he did to her face. Oh, my sweet girl—what did he do to you?" Yuno's dad sobbed quietly, caressing his daughter's watercolor blotched cheek, as he wailed over your swollen and split lips, your bandaged nose.
Soyeon sat on the sofa of the VIP room, crying silently as she stared at you. She wished she had done something. She wished she had seen through your attempts in pushing her away. What kind of mother was she? When she couldn't even tell her child was in pain and suffering?
Yuno held your open hand, wishing you were gripping on his back, tears streaming down his face but not making a sound as he cried. It broke his heart—he barely recognized you when he saw you. The bruises on your face were too much. He felt his own face aching just by looking at you. He wanted to beat himself up for ignoring before you moved out. He didn't care for all the hurtful things you said to him anymore, he just wanted to be family again.
He wished he got the chance to beat Cha Yoonsu into a pulp.
May I ask what happened to her abuser? Dead? Good. I know she was found beaten at the crime scene, but the bruises all over her body were new and old. Days and weeks old, even. The most severe one was at her stomach—I had to be careful with cutting her torso open because of how sore it was. He kicked her there pretty good, repeatedly too—but thank god not hard enough it would've done any more damage on her rib cage. However, she still needs to take it easy with any kind of upper body and hip movement during her recovery. The rest of the bruises could go away on their own.
"If that bastard was still alive, I would get my whole soccer team—even the benched kids—to jump him for you. I'm even considering defacing his resting place, because he doesn't deserve to rest peacefully for all that he did to you, Y/N." Yangyang heaved in anger from the opposite side of where Yuno was sitting beside your bed. He blinked away his tears, tasting more bitter and sour than salty—fuck, he was so angry and sad that his tears didn't even taste right.
Aeri was holding on to your other hand, still praying, sounding like a zealot. She had hoped her hand kept yours warm too. If Yoonsu was still alive, she wouldn't be braindead enough to think just beating him half to death could ease her anger. She'd burn him, make him a furnace to keep you warm. She'd do anything to him just for you.
Xiaojun was sitting on a chair beside Yangyang, keeping your hair neat. More often than not, you had always complained that even though you loved how long hair looks on you, you sometimes hated how it would feel. Of course, now that you're still sleeping, he'd keep it neat for you. It was the least he could do for you—because it's not like he had the chance to kill Yoonsu for you. The bastard did the honors himself, it seemed.
She's getting wheeled to the VIP room right now. Heard that someone among you has connections to the one who funds this hospital—and good for her, then. After all that kid has been through, I'm glad she gets to rest in a comfortable room, with plenty of space for all of you to fit—just, don't huddle too closely over her, okay? I know you're all worried for her, but she just got out of surgery, so there's still risks of infection and whatnot.
Geonwoo and Woojin were just right outside, talking with a man decked out in an obviously very expensive casual clothing set. The man seemed fond of the ex MMA athletes, even calling them his younger brothers, and it wasn't at all surprising to see him so fond of them considering he drove to the hospital at 3 a.m. in the morning to see them. The man was Hong Minbeom, and he was the one who pulled the strings to get you the VIP room. He's the one behind the hospital's funding.
"Thanks again, Hyung." Geonwoo sighed, looking at the door.
Minbeom beamed at the both of them.
"It's no biggie, kiddos. Just tell her I wish her a speedy recovery."
Minbeom had met you before. When they held a gala to officiate Taeho Memorial Hospital's opening, Geonwoo brought Taeho's granddaughter as his plus one, and Woojin had brought you as their plus one. The chaebol found you to be a cute kid, a good fit with his two younger brothers. He didn't mind doing a favour for you, considering you were also a victim of a bastard loanshark like he had been a victim of Kim Myeonggil.
Here's the bad news though. Clearly, something very hard hit her head, and then she got stabbed not long after—head injury with rapid blood loss is a bad combo. It's why I consider her a miracle. Because of the head injury, there's no telling when she would wake up. Could be days, weeks or months. All I can say right now is just to stay optimistic. If she pulled through during the surgery, then she can also hold on strong enough for this.
Mark stood behind Yuno, heart tearing itself apart as he wondered when you would wake up. It's hard to look at your face while it's marred with heavy bruises and scratches, but it's gut wrenching to do nothing but watch as you stayed asleep, your eyes closed, your mouth in a thin line. He was praying just as incessantly as Aeri was, but not as loud.
Only God knew just how hard his heart was praying for you to wake up—because he wanted those eyes to open and look at him as he begged for your forgiveness, as he promised to stick by your side no matter what after this. All you had to do was wake up.
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A/N : my fingers are now officially broken!!!!
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
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Pining In The Pines
Dean x reader
Word count-3843
Warnings- Angst, some fluff
Summary- Y/N and the boys have to go on a hunt in her old hometown. She's not happy to go home, and especially not when Dean makes a comment that brings up bad memories. How will she take it? And will Dean be able to make it right?
A/N- This fills my Secret Passageway square for @jacklesversebingo
First, I suck at summaries 😂 Second, this fic is a little self-indulgent. I've written it about where I'm actually from and the stigma about the people in this area. I really hope you like it!
“So, get this,” Sam started the conversation as he looked at his laptop.
Y/N couldn’t stop the giggle that bubbled in her chest. It never failed. When he found a hunt, the first words out of his mouth were, ‘So, get this.’ That’s how she and Dean knew to stop and pay attention. He had something they needed to hear. So, she tried to contain her laughter and give Sam the attention he wanted.
“Y/N…Do you have to laugh every single time?” Sam groaned but didn’t wait for a response, continuing with what he wanted to say, “There’s supposedly been a Wendigo spotted in Morehead, Kentucky. Homeowners caught it on their security camera for their driveway.”
“Morehead…Isn’t that close to where you grew up, sweetheart?” Dean wondered, looking over at the huntress beside him.
“It’s a few counties over, but yeah, it’s close enough. Did you say there was footage?” she questioned, leaning forward to look at Sam’s laptop as he spun it around for her and Dean to see.
Her breath caught in her throat as Dean put his hand on her lower back as he leaned forward to watch the video. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, she had fallen in love with the eldest Winchester. But how was she supposed to be around him, living in the bunker with him, and not fall head over heels?
It was true that he had a temper, could be a real grump, and be downright mean sometimes. But, over the years, she’d learned that his temper flared most when someone he cared about was in danger. He would be grumpy when the weight of the world had gotten almost too heavy to bear, and he tried to push it down and keep it bottled up. He was mean when he thought he needed to push someone he cared about away because he was the one putting them in danger. To her, that was just the sign of a man who had been hurt, a man who loved deeply, one who cared so much that the thought of losing someone he loved was unbearable. So, how was she not going to fall for him at some point?
But that’s as far as it went. She would never admit her feelings. She couldn’t. The likely rejection would be her end, and she would have to leave the bunker. She’d rather pine for him in tortuous silence than not have him in her life at all. So, as always, she shoved her feelings back down, focusing on the screen in front of her, and prepared for the hunt she knew was coming.
“Earth to Y/N,” Dean nudged her, clearly seeing she was in her own little world.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m watching,” she rolled her eyes, trying to hide that she was fantasizing about the green-eyed Adonis.
“Where was that pretty little head of yours?” he teased, his words making her heart ache. If only he really thought that way.
“Just thinking of what I’ll need to pack. ‘Cause we’re clearly going to Kentucky, am I right?” she lied, hoping they would buy it.
“Yeah, we have to check this out. I’ve never heard of a Wendigo this far east before,” Sam answered, getting Dean’s attention away from her. Thank Chuck.
“There’s a lot of things in the Appalachian mountains that no one knows about. Trust me, you don’t want to be caught in those woods alone after dark,” she shivered at the thought.
“Don’t tell me you’re scared of the dark?” Dean tried to tease, but she gave him a stern look that made him think twice.
“You should know that I’m not scared of the dark. I follow you into some of the darkest, creepiest places on earth. But, I grew up there, Dean. It’s not even just the monsters you have to worry about. I mean, there are bears, mountain lions, wolves…” she trailed off, not wanting to mention some of the crazy people that live in those mountains.
“Okay, okay,” Dean huffed, throwing his hands up in mock surrender, “I get it.”
“You better. You have to keep your head on a swivel while we’re in the woods. I’d hate to have to save your sorry ass from the real-life Yogi Bear,” she winked, “Because your ass will be the picnic basket.”
Dean crossed his arms over his chest, annoyed at her sarcasm as Sam laughed. Even though she was crazy in love with him, she could give him shit right back. And to be honest, she thoroughly enjoyed frustrating him. As she saw it, it was payback for him making her love him in the first place. She continued to chuckle as she went to her room to pack. Y/N didn’t like the thought of going home. Too many memories she’d like to forget. But duty calls, so she was packing her bags for the long drive to southeast Kentucky.
—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“I highly doubt there’s a Wendigo here. They don’t stay in the wide-open woods,” Dean complained while trekking through the mountains.
“Dean, do you not know anything about the topography of Kentucky?” Y/N asked, shaking her head in annoyance. He’d been in a mood all day.
“Yes, sweetheart. I spend all my free time studying the layout of a state I rarely ever visit,” his sarcasm made her want to smack him in the head.
“Well, dear,” she said just as sarcastically, “Kentucky is known for its underground cave systems. You know, Mammoth Cave. One of the biggest cave systems in the world…”
“Of course! Because spelunking is high on my to-do list!”
“Oh! Look at him, Sam. He’s using big boy words like spelunking. I’m so proud of you, Dean!” she half shouted at him. Trying to keep her voice down so as not to attract unwanted attention to whatever was out there.
“Guys! Knock it off. We’re here to kill a Wendigo. Not for you two to kill each other!” Sam exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration.
“She started it,” Dean whined, acting like a child.
“Fuck off, Dean,” she growled as she walked ahead of them. Leading them to the caves she knew were close.
Y/N ignored the bickering between the brothers behind her as she made her way through the trees. She loved Dean, but today, she thought about leaving him in one of the caves they found. He’d been an ass since they woke up at the motel, and she couldn’t figure out what had his boxers in a bunch. They’d had to share a bed, but she didn’t think he’d be that pissed about that, but she wouldn’t put anything past him at that point. But, whatever it was, it tempted her to make him Wendigo lunch.
“Slow down, Y/N. We’re not born and raised hillbillies like you are. It’s taking us a little longer to navigate this hellscape,” Dean yelled, grumbling under his breath about her getting too far ahead.
Y/N froze. That was the last straw. Yes, she’d been born and raised in the area, but that word…Hillbilly. She’d been trying to get rid of that stigma since she left the mountains, and now hearing Dean, the man she loved, call her that derogatory term was too much to take.
“Let me tell you something, asshole! Yeah, I grew up here, but I’m not a fucking hillbilly! I’ll have you know not everyone who lives in Appalachia are backwoods, uneducated, rednecks! So, take that term, and shove it straight up your ass!” she screamed, her anger boiling over into dangerous territory.
Before either of the boys could say a word, a guttural, terrifying growl tore through the darkening woods. Y/N spun around to see what they’d been there to find. The Wendgio was only about thirty feet behind her, moving in quickly. Sam shouted for her to get behind him, breaking her out of her stupor. Once she’d cleared his line of sight, Sam grabbed his homemade flamethrower, flicking his lighter to ignite it, but nothing happened. He tried again but to no avail. Y/N’s screams tore through the night air…
“Run! Follow me!”
The boys were quick at her heels as she weaved them in and out of the trees and underbrush. Dean couldn’t help but think about how impressed he was at her agility in that terrain. He could tell she’d grown up here and knew her way around, which brought him to his next thought. How guilty he felt for saying what he had. But now was not the time to apologize. Right now, he had to concentrate on not losing sight of her and getting shredded to pieces by the monster on their tails.
“Here! Guys, hurry!” she shouted, an old moonshining cabin in her sight.
Once she reached the cabin, she flung open the door, waiting for the boys to enter before slamming it shut, silently praying that the rickety lock would hold just long enough to devise a plan.
“What the hell happened back there?” Dean asked, hands on his knees as he panted for breath.
“I don’t know! The flamethrower has never not worked before,” Sam answered with the same labored breathing as his brother.
“Well, we can figure that out later. Now, we need to figure out how to stay alive!” Y/N yelled, panic starting to set in.
“Calm down, sweetheart. We’ll be okay,” Dean tried to calm her down, but she was still too angry with him.
“Don’t! Do not ‘sweetheart’ me! You had no right to talk to me like that!”
“Look, swe- Y/N, I’m sorry. But I don’t understand why that made you so mad,” Dean spoke as he looked around the cabin for something to use as a makeshift weapon.
“That was a shit apology, Winchester. Just…just don’t speak to me until we get out of this mess,” she groaned, then mumbled, “If we live through this mess.”
“Hey!” Dean shouted, getting her attention, “We are getting out of this. Don’t talk like that.”
“Can you tell me how you plan to get us out of here? Cause I don’t see another way out except through the door that Wendigo is now trying to beat down!”
As she walked toward Dean, her foot almost went through the floor, or at least it felt like it. She stopped, pushing down with her foot one more time. The bounce under her foot had her laughing loudly, and the boys looked at her like she’d lost her mind. Dean spoke as she started to rip the rug she stood on out of the way.
“Care to tell us what you find so funny?”
“This!” she continued to laugh in relief as she pointed to the hatch in the floor where she’d been standing, “It’s our way out!”
“How do you know that? It could be just an old cellar,” Sam asked, walking over to inspect what she’d found.
“Well, as Dean so nicely put it, us hillbillies would dig secret passageways to transport the moonshine back and forth without the police seeing them. They almost always lead to an abandoned coal mine or cave opening. Sometimes other cabins.”
“Y/N, come on, I tried to apologize. I didn’t know it would upset you that much,” Dean threw his hands up in exasperation.
“Well, it did, and…” she started to argue when Sam interrupted them.
“Maybe you two can finish this fight once we know we’re not going to die? Let’s go!”
Y/N and Dean simultaneously rolled their eyes. Sam would have told them they were two peas in a pod if they weren’t in such a hurry to save their asses. Y/N was the first one down the ladder, explaining that she’d be their best bet for not getting completely lost underground, and neither brother disagreed. Dean followed, with Sam on his heels. Once they were underground, Y/N led the way, and the boys were impressed with how well she could get around in the tunnels.
After what seemed like a lifetime, Dean was going to ask if she really knew where she was going, but before he could open his mouth, they turned a corner and could see a light up ahead in the tunnel's ceiling. Y/N was climbing the ladder through another hatch before Dean knew what was happening. Maybe her nickname should be Squirrel instead of him, he chuckled to himself. As the last brother made it out of the tunnel and into another cabin, Y/N slammed the hatch, pushing an old, heavy piece of furniture over it. Luckily, this one was still quite furnished, with beds still in the bedrooms and an old couch in front of a fireplace.
“This is home until morning,” she stated, looking around, finding, albeit dusty, pillows and blankets in a closet.
“Better than nothing,” Sam shrugged, walking into one of the bedrooms and shutting the door, leaving only one bedroom for her and Dean.
“Looks like we’re sharing again, sweetheart,” Dean chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.
“Nah, take the bed. I’ll take the couch,” she whispered, not looking at him. Damn, she was still mad.
“I’m not taking a bed and putting you on an old debilitated couch, Y/N.”
“It’s fine. My adrenaline is still too high to sleep. Besides, I’ll keep watch so you can get some rest. You have to drive us back to the bunker tomorrow. I can sleep in the car.”
“Y/N…”
“No, Dean, it’s fine. Please, just take the bed. I’m too tired to argue,” she almost begged, wanting to be alone.
“I thought you said you weren’t tired?” he smirked, trying to joke, but she wasn’t having it.
“I’m mentally exhausted. I just need time to myself to wind down. Now, please, go get some sleep so we can get the hell out of here in the morning,” she pleaded, the look on her face breaking his heart. He had really hurt her with what he said.
“Okay, sweetheart. Good night,” he said dejectedly, knowing it would be a sleepless night. His guilt would make sure of it.
“Night,” she replied, turning her back to him, sitting down on the couch, staring out the window, never glancing his way. The click of the door made her wince as Dean went to bed.
Sleepless night was an understatement. Dean’s eyes didn’t close once as he lay there thinking how wrong the day had gone. He and Y/N had argued since their feet hit the floor that morning. Him being an ass was the reason for it. He hated fighting with her, but when he woke that morning, she was curled up at his side, her head on his chest. Usually, a man wouldn't complain about having a beautiful woman wrapped around him, but it tends to put you in a pissy mood when it’s a woman you love but can’t have.
Dean was ass over tea kettle for Y/N, but he’d never tell her that. She deserved so much better than being saddled with a man who could barely stand his own company most days. He drank too much, and he wasn’t good at communicating how he felt. He knew that. Sam had told him many times he needed to learn to open up, but he didn’t want to burden anyone with the shitshow that was his mind. Especially her. So, as with his other emotions, he pushed his love for her deep and tried to ignore it. Lately, that hadn’t been working so well. As he lay there telling himself all the reasons he couldn’t have her, a sound caught his attention. He tiptoed to the door, cracking it slowly, and what he saw had him rushing out the door.
“Y/N, sweetheart, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” he quizzed her as he rushed to her side, pulling her into his arms. Her sobs were what he’d heard.
“I’m fine, Dean. Go back to bed,” she hiccuped through her tears. She couldn’t tell him the full truth.
“Obviously, you are the opposite of fine. Talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Hey, look at me,” he whispered, placing her chin between his thumb and index finger to turn her face to him, “Is this about today?”
“Partially,” she admitted, trying to turn her head back to the window, but his grip wouldn’t let her.
“Y/N…I’m so so sorry. I know I was being an ass, but I had no idea it would hurt your feelings like that. Can you explain to me why? I’m not trying to fight. I honestly don’t understand.”
“I’ve tried to get rid of the ‘hillbilly’ stigma since I left this place. It's always the same thing whenever someone finds out where I’m from. There’s this image people have about people from the Appalachian mountains that just aren’t true. We’re not a bunch of ignorant, uneducated people who live deep in the woods and never come out. Unfortunately, movies and TV shows have depicted us in such a bad light that most people think that’s all we are. And when that term comes from the man you…” she gasped, catching what she almost said. But Dean caught it as well.
“The man you what, Y/N?” he asked, holding his breath. Was she about to admit what he thought? Maybe, just maybe, he could try to be better, be the man she deserved if she loved him too.
“Dean…” she whimpered, trying to turn away from him again, but he wasn’t letting her go now.
“Uh uh, say it. Say it, Y/N,” he pleaded, his eyes staring into hers, “Were you going to say the man you loved?”
“Yes! Okay? I was going to say the man I loved!” she shouted in frustration as she jumped from the couch, finally breaking Dean’s hold on her, “Now, go ahead and tell me that you don’t see me that way, tell me that you don’t want me, so I can prepare to pack my shit and leave when we get back to the bunker. Because I can’t stay there and see you every day after your rejection. I just can’t.”
Dean stood and walked to her as she stood staring out the window, her back to him after her confession. He touched her shoulder, gently turning her to face him. Her look of sadness and despair nearly ripped his heart from his chest. He thought having his heart literally ripped out would hurt less than seeing her like this. He slid his hand up from her shoulder to cup her cheek. A tear trickled down her face as she closed her eyes at his touch, and he swiped it away with his thumb.
“Is that what you want me to tell you, or do you want me to tell you the truth?” he asked softly, waiting for her to open her eyes, which didn’t take a split second. Her eyes went wide.
“What are you saying?” she uttered shakily.
“I’m saying that I love you, too, Y/N. I have for a long time.”
“But, but,” she stuttered, trying to find her words, “You were so mad at me when we woke up this morning. That isn’t how someone acts when they love the person in bed with them.”
“Sweetheart, I was mad because I opened my eyes to the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen curled up against me, and all I could think was how I wanted it to mean something, and I didn’t think it ever would. If I’m being honest, you could do so much better. And thinking I’d never have you that way pissed me off because I’ve never wanted someone as bad as I want you, Y/N. You’re my first thought when I wake up, and I fall asleep picturing you beside me. I know I’m not a good man, and there’s someone out there that could and would give you more than I’ll ever be able to, but if you really love me, I’m going to be selfish for one time in my fucking life and ask you to give me a chance. I can guarantee that I’m going to piss you off and probably hurt your feelings again, but it will never be intentional. So, what do you say? You want to give us a shot?” He poured his heart out to her, leaning his forehead against hers as he waited for an answer.
“Dean, contrary to what you believe, you are a good man. You love with your whole being and fiercely protect those lucky enough to get that love. I know you don’t believe you deserve it, but you deserve the world, Dean Winchester, and I’d be honored to be the one to try and give it to you.”
“Really?” he asked with a million-watt smile, leaning back to look her in the eye.
“I’ve never wanted anything more,” she returned his smile, both sighing in relief.
“Come here,” he growled, pulling her face to his and kissing her passionately.
The kiss was better than either had imagined, and they both poured the love they felt for the other into it. They stayed that way until the need to breathe became too much, pulling away with smiles. He pulled her into a hug, laying his head on top of hers. They stayed silent for a few minutes before Dean broke the silence.
“So, you want to move your stuff into my room when we get back?
“I don’t know, Dean,” she pulled back, chewing on her bottom lip, “I really think we need to take this as slowly as possible. Make sure that we’re going to last.”
“Oh, yeah, okay,” he agreed, his heart clenching at the hurt he felt.
“I’m just joking,” she laughed, poking him in the ribs, “You’re not going to get rid of me now!”
“Damn it, Y/N! That wasn’t funny! You almost gave me a heart attack,” he grumbled, not finding her joke all that funny.
“I think I’m hilarious,” she smirked up at him.
“You’re something, alright. Now, how about we both try to get some rest? We have a lot of packing to do when we get home,” he suggested, leading her toward the bedroom, “You have a lot of shit. I don’t know where we’re going to put it all.”
“Ha ha,” she deadpanned, “Well, we could always get rid of your vinyl collection to make room.”
“Hey! Those are fighting words,” he growled playfully, leaning down to nip at her bottom lip.
“Bring it on, old man,” she cackled as his eyes shot up his forehead in shock.
“I’ll show you an old man!” he said in faux anger, chasing her into the bedroom.
All that could be heard as the bedroom door shut was the laughter and playful banter between the new couple, and that’s how it stayed for the years to come.
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You're not the first person to make this comparison on this post, but when I wrote this, I hadn't done a re-read of SOTL yet (and the last time I'd read In the Hand of the Goddess was... a LONG time ago, so I couldn't really make a good comparison between these two scenes), but I have now and I've been sort-of thinking this over and have some thoughts on it.
For me, this isn't so much an indication of them being similar so much as it is just an unusually similar narrative beat. A character chooses to disobey an order about not crossing a border during a war in order to go save someone who has been captured and, in so doing, takes out a major antagonist that leads to the end of the war.
But the MOTIVES behind the two actions seem very different to me. Jon goes to save Alanna because he's in love with her and can't bear to lose her. Kel goes to save the refugees because she's responsible for them and takes that extremely seriously. She does CARE about the people, obviously, it's still being done out of love, but she's not doing it because she can't stand to live without them so much as that she's INSANELY duty-driven. She goes up to save Lalasa for similar reasons after being told that a noble's duty to their servants is basically sacrosanct. Kel goes across the border because she believes it's the honorable thing to do. Jon's motives aren't about honor and are, arguably, somewhat more selfish in origin.
So while this is obviously a very similar storyline, I don't find that it's an example of these two characters being similar to each other.
Kel is willing to give up EVERYTHING out of a sense of duty to the people she's responsible for. While Jon is someone who does a LOT of things for his people and spends a lot of his time and energy making life better for them, I can't recall a moment where Jon is ready to give up everything he wants and everything he's worked for just to save his people. Jon actually tells Kel in Squire that he and Thayet work pretty hard to keep themselves OUT of that kind of danger whenever possible, that's the point behind all of the compromises. All of the arranged marriages for his kids are to try to ensure peace through political connections and stop fighting in wars.
This is where they DO differ because Kel feels like someone who, at least at this point in her life, is willing to die to protect her people. But Jon is someone who will do whatever it takes to LIVE for his people for as long as possible. Jon understands that, in his position, it's more beneficial for everybody for him to make compromises in order to stay alive so he can keep making changes that will make people's lives better in the long run. This is a lesson that, while we do see Kel LEARNING it a little during Lady Knight, isn't one that really plays into the final conflict of the book. It's possible that Kel will end up being even more like Jon in this way as she gets older, more willing to stay back herself and trust others to do what needs to be done in her place, but by the end of Lady Knight, that just isn't who she is yet.
And maybe that's what's interesting about the comparison. Kel isn't all that much like Jon YET, and she's certainly not all that much like Jon when HE was 19, but Kel shows signs of being a lot more like Jon as he is during HER series as she gets older and gains more experience. Kel is very righteous, very inclined to just act and get things done, but over the 9 years we get to know her, she has to learn more and more about when to act and when to WAIT. She has to learn when to push and when to bend a little.
As a woman, she's going to be held to different standards than her male counterparts like Raoul or Wyldon, she'll be dealing with different limitations and setbacks than they ever did. And so her approach to leadership will, by necessity, have to be different than theirs was. She does look to them for inspiration, but in execution, I think she'll likely end up far more like Jon. Jon is obviously not a woman himself, but as King he's ALSO held to different higher standards than his compatriots and he was very young when he took the throne and has been very progressive throughout his reign which means he's dealing with certain limitations and setbacks that more conservative people might not.
Kel has strong opinions and firm ideas of what the world SHOULD be like, and that's going to lead her down a similar path of trying to CHANGE things, but she'll be dealing with all of the same limitations that Jon is, which will force her to approach things the way he does. She's going to have to compromise, she's going to have to bend, she's going to have to learn when a fight is worth having, she's going to have to learn to give a little in order to get a little later.
Kel would probably not have crossed the border for just one person. If it had been Neal, for example, and Neal alone, she may not have decided to take that risk. Neal is a trained knight like herself and probably won't thank her for giving up everything to come save him. Kel could probably have been convinced not to cross the border for him, as much as it would've pained her. And Jon I think would not necessarily give up everything to save a few hundred people the way Kel did, even though it would pain him to have to make that choice.
Kel IS like Jon and will likely become even more so as she ages, but crossing the border just isn't one of those places where their similarities are showcased to me.
The funniest thing to me about Kel, and maybe one of the most interesting because of how understated it is, is that Kel becomes a good commander in the end, not by emulating Wyldon who was cold and implacable and insensitive, or by emulating Raoul who mostly only disobeys orders out of principle or because he has an issue with what the order says about his personal relationship with Jon, but by emulating JON.
Kel doesn't even LIKE Jon, she BARELY respects him as a person. He's a good enough ruler that she's willing to fight for him and swear loyalty to him and to at least mostly believe that he wouldn't work with Blayce to make his own killing monsters, but that's as far as it goes for Kel. If he's kind to her, she finds it uncomfortable and almost untrustworthy because she assumes he doesn't care about her and so his kindness and respect towards her must be fake.
But from the outside, as readers, we know just how much Jon fought for Kel. We know how much he does respect her right to be a knight. Jon is the sole reason that Kel DID get the opportunity to prove herself, if he'd capitulated to Wyldon completely, she just wouldn't have ever been allowed to join. Kel doesn't KNOW THAT, obviously, but we do. We know that Jon did everything he could to find a way to convince Wyldon to let Kel become a page. While Wyldon claims later that the reason he chose to let her stay at the end of the probation year was because his better judgment convinced him she'd earned it, I'd be willing to bet that part of that better judgment also included knowing if he couldn't prove to JON that she needed to go, then he'd be in trouble. Kel was training and working in front of plenty of other trainers and teachers who could easily contradict Wyldon's lies if he'd tried it, many of whom are closer to Jon than they are to Wyldon.
Kel's experiences and feelings about that experience are entirely valid, and she doesn't have the knowledge we do about how hard Jon fought for her, so it's not shocking that she's upset with him for a good portion of her series. She never even discovers this truth by the end of her series, even though she does get a lesson from Jon and Thayet (and Raoul to some degree) about how politics and compromises work in order to make changes happen. So her opinion of him by the end is boiled down to the quote from Squire: "good kings weren't always good men." It makes sense for her to think this, but because Kel's knowledge base is so limited (and her worldview so black and white for much of her series), it makes her an EXTREMELY unreliable narrator about this particular issue.
Kel believes that while Jon generally does his duty and keeps the peace, he doesn't actually care all that much about his people as individuals. But in their only meaningful conversation in Squire, Jon is able to point out that he (and Thayet, who is actually equal to Jon in power, something Kel either doesn't know which would be a failure in her education or just tends to ignore so she can focus her ire on Jon) has to make a LOT of compromises in order to get ANYTHING useful done at all. Sometimes, often, it means making deals with people he doesn't like or people he just fundamentally disagrees with, because it's the first step in a multi-step plan to help more people in the long run. He also points out that just throwing his weight and authority around in order to be able to change everything he wants to change immediately regardless of what anyone else thinks about it is a great way to get himself and his family killed. Because even if he had good intentions, that would be tyranny. It does make Kel think a little, but she doesn't tend to like him much still afterwards, her resentment from her page years will always color her opinion of him a little.
However, then she gets to Haven and she's suddenly tossed into a position of leadership over a lot of other people, many of whom disagree with each other or disagree with her or both. And all of the sudden, Kel has to make compromises. She doesn't LIKE the way the sergeants often treat their men, especially the sergeants whose men are convicts, but there's very very little she can do about it without really pissing off those same sergeants and that's not something she can afford to do. There's a moment when Neal starts getting frustrated about the treatment of the convicts and she takes him out to vent to her so he doesn't vent to the sergeants, something that the sergeants would then take out on their men. Kel's reasoning as she does this is that she "preferred to avoid battles with them now so she would have authority with them later if she needed to use it." Later, Kel is talking to Daine and she says "That's all this job is... Trying to please everyone and pleasing no one. And it will only get worse, not better."
Both of these moments showcase Kel choosing to make compromises. She may not like the way the sergeants treat the convicts, but she needs to stay on the sergeants' good sides because she doesn't have enough resources to butt heads with them nor enough authority to just force the issue, and even if she DID, it could cause the sergeants to become troublesome or take out their frustration with her on the men in ways she can't see as well. But staying on the sergeants' good sides might mean letting some of their maltreatment slide if it's not physically harming the convicts. And even setting that aside, she's dealing with nearly 500 refugees eventually, all of which are from different towns in the area and have different needs, not all of which she can accommodate. This requires compromise. Sometimes she can please some of them and not others, but mostly she probably just ends up not pleasing anybody because that's often how compromises WORK.
She never makes the active connection to Jon and his lesson on leadership from Squire while she's in Haven, but that quote up there about how this job (aka being a commander) is all about trying to please everyone and pleasing no one? It sounds a HECK of a lot like "good kings weren't always good men." You can try your best to help others, but often doing the right thing can involve making everyone unhappy. You can't be everybody's friend if you're going to get anything done.
Some of this she might've learned from Raoul's style of command, but Raoul commands a fairly small amount of people (at least in comparison to a King), and so we see him able to be pretty friendly to the people he commands in a way that Jon is perhaps unable to do. And she might believe that she learned some of this from Wyldon, but Wyldon had a tendency to be very unfair and biased due to his raging bigotry and conservative values, as well as the fact that he doesn't actually even LIKE being a training master and that likely impacted the way he treated the pages (he's almost never that kind to the pages, whereas we see him capable of being quite kind with the refugees later, which is where Kel comes to the conclusion that he hadn't enjoyed being a training master).
But Jon makes an entire speech about how he (and Thayet) have been working THEIR ENTIRE REIGN to change laws that help people. He explains how they have to consider the needs of merchants, nobles, farmers, street people, priests/priestesses, and mages. They have to consider not only what these people might need or want, but also what they could do when they feel sufficiently offended and how that could impact not just the royal family or the nobility but the realm as a whole. Jon points out that they HAVE made changes, for the better, and that just because they don't always succeed at everything or because they have to compromise sometimes, doesn't mean they aren't working at making changes or that they don't care about helping people. Not everyone you have power over is going to be your friend, they might not even be someone you like. But if you're going to take on the job of leadership, that's something you have to be willing to accept and work with, which often means making compromises with people whose needs and values are contradictory to your own.
Jon probably knows when he makes the compromise with Wyldon that it will likely impact a lot of people's good opinion of him. Alanna is right there and clearly angry, and we know Thayet doesn't like the decision, either. And it's entirely possible that Jon knows in the moment that Kel herself will put the blame on him because he's the King. But he also knows that if he insists on Kel being allowed to be a page without trying to compromise with Wyldon, Wyldon will quit over it and he'll end up with ten DIFFERENT problems that could cause a lot bigger issues to far more people than just one girl. So he makes the compromise. He sacrifices Alanna and Thayet and even Kel's good opinion of him in order to ensure that Kel gets the opportunity to become a Knight without turning all of his nobles against him which could ultimately lead to a civil war. Is it fair? No, and he knows it. But it's the best option he has in order to get the outcome they all actually want which is just for Kel to have the chance to prove herself.
Kel has to make similar choices once she's finally in a position of leadership of her own. And whether she realizes it or not, without ever even spending more than a few minutes with Jon, she ends up emulating his leadership style more than anybody else's because it WORKS and it works WELL. She'll probably never admit it, she might never even realize it herself, but she's so much more like Jon than any of the other men she sees as role models. And I love that. I love the dramatic irony of that, that the one person Kel only barely respects because of a compromise he made on her behalf that she'll never even know about, is the person Kel ends up most resembling. Jon is the reason she has the opportunity to become the Protector of the Small in the first place, Jon is the person who created that environment that allowed her to nurture those values, and she'll probably never even really be able to acknowledge that, because sometimes that's what being a good leader means.
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How will your future spouse treat you during ur pregnancy? (PAC)
𝙋𝙞𝙡𝙚 1
I see that your spouse is going to be happy that you’re pregnant, they’ll be happy about starting a family with you but things may feel overwhelming for them. I see that they’re going to feel a little anxious/ nervous and may feel like things are going a little too fast, there may be times where you guys bump heads because tensions are high but they’re definitely going to do their best in making you happy. I see that they may feel unprepared like they didn’t know that it would be so much responsibility or they had different expectations and thought it would be easier, I see that you guys will be on the same on certain things but other times you’ll clash. Your spouse may feed off of your energy during your pregnancy which may cause some issues but you’ll get through it. Signs- cancer, Pisces, Leo. Initials- C, N, P, G, N, Q
𝙋𝙞𝙡𝙚 2
I see that your spouse is going to be excited that you’re pregnant and they’ll feel like it’s a wish fulfillment for them, they’ll be kind of impatient and a little self centered like their excitement can make them get ahead of themselves and they forget about you too. I see that your spouse may have a lot of energy during your pregnancy while you want to rest and take it easy, they’ll want to show you around and show off that you’re pregnant. I see that they’ll want to spend a lot of time with you or spend a lot of time doing things together. You may feel drained by them sometimes and feel like you need some time to yourself, you may have a girl as your first child with your spouse. Signs - cancer, pisces, Aries, Taurus. Initials- S, V, X, P
𝙋𝙞𝙡𝙚 3
I see that your future spouse is going to be very ready for your pregnancy like they’ll be surprised and happy but they’ll immediately start taking responsibility and thinking about how to make sure you guys have a stable home and family. During your pregnancy you’ll bring out a different side of them like they’ll be more mature and responsible or serious, they may grow out their facial hair or their face may fill out more during your pregnancy. They may stay home more when your pregnant and I see they’re gonna spoil you in any way they can, I see you guys agreeing more like not arguing as much or you’ll notice that your spouse will try their hardest not to make you mad or they’ll just let you win every argument even if you’re wrong lol. They’ll be very sure about starting a family with you, some of you may have prepared for this pregnancy. Signs- cancer/Taurus. Initals- V, D, L, G, M
Personal readings always available//TIP JAR
Divider by @anitalenia
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There's a kind of defensive attitude towards criticism re:Lucanis' romance in many corners of the fandom that I partially understand because Veilguard gets a lot of shit thrown at it, and if you enjoy something you naturally want to defend it. But this type of attitude also rubs me the wrong way when people who loved the way his romance played out say that anyone criticizing it must just not understand slow burns/not like slow burn as a genre/not understand Lucanis' character and his trauma properly/must have been expecting explicit sex scenes and a Zevran 2.0.
Maybe some people criticizing his romance don't like slow burns, or were wrongly expecting him to be a sex god, or ignore his trauma. I've seen a few. But that's not all the criticism there is.
Personally, I love slow burns, it's my favorite genre both to read and write (I'm the type of fic writer to think up 200k words enemies to lovers longfics where they've barely kissed after 100k words). I'm also the type of ace person who's not into extremely explicit sex scenes or super kinky romances (especially with male dom stuff, which I personally dislike). And lastly, I'm the type who picks the angstiest possible romance choice.
All this to say that Lucanis and his romance were theoretically made in a lab for me. Slow burn because the character doesn't trust easily and is traumatized by his past experiences and has many things he must resolve, excruciatingly slow to open up? Unexpectedly very sweet, wet, sad man with puppy eyes? Romance scenes that are caring and romantic instead of outright steamy? Perfect, right up my alley! I keep romancing Fenris in DA2 exactly for that reason because I love him dearly, and he breaks up with Hawke for 3 whole years! Still my favorite!
But the whole point of a slow burn are the steps. It's a slow burn, which means little step by little step, the relationship slowly builds to a conclusion, from tentative acquaintances who don't trust each other, to slooowly evolve into something more, and it's precisely these crumbs that make the trope enjoyable.
To me, Lucanis' romance doesn't feel like it does little steps, it feels like it skips steps. I can see the main story beats of a good slow burn, but not the crumbs that make a slow burn. I don't want him and Rook to jump each other after 2 scenes, I want to see more of the fumbling, the hesitation, the dancing around each other. No, dragon age isn't a romance game, I'm aware, but if romance is an option, and it is written to fit a specific trope, I would like it done properly. They've done slowburns and angsty before, and they were good (even Solas', and his romance is super short). I want the evolution of the relationship shown to me, not told in broad strokes and big steps, and I don't want to have to write half the romance in my head or rely on ao3.
We get nothing between the coffee date and the almost kiss, absolutely no reaction of any kind to the flirting, not even a blink. If Lucanis and Rook were capable of having an entire conversation about coffee and kisses metaphors when they barely knew each other, then I think they can flirt a bit more in the following conversations when you pick the romantic option, dance around each other, have Lucanis fumble a little more like he does with Neve when he actually registers Rook is sincerely into him. Even just a sign that he heard Rook when they pick the romantic option in the following conversations, because as it is he immediately resumes whatever he was saying. And if his lack of reaction is because he's suddenly afraid and thinks it's a bad idea, I would like it shown on his face, or as an actual noticeable pause/hesitation. It didn't look like he thought it was a bad idea at Café Pietra, unless he just thought Rook was flirting just to flirt and wasn't serious, but again, none of that is hinted at in any way.
Then there's the almost kiss that follows and is the first actually romantic moment we get after the coffee date, and suddenly Lucanis is all smooth and confident about flirting again. With nothing in between ever since *Illario voice* he got all romantic about roasts. Was he reluctant before and that's why he didn't react to Rook's flirting/caring concern? We have no idea, because while he warns Rook it's a bad idea to be attracted to him, he doesn't seem scared, more amused at their daredevil tendencies. The first time in his entire romance we get a clear indication he's afraid and won't open up for a long time is at the end of this specific scene, when he pulls away, and the way it happens is like Lucanis himself wasn't expecting his fear to overcome him. He wants, he lets himself be pulled forward, and then he suddenly gets drowned by overwhelming terror, and he pulls away.
The beginning of the romance (the date + almost kiss) reads to me as if Lucanis was trying to forget the Ossuary, letting himself flirt and feel attraction and just simply live again as if nothing happened, believing if he didn't think about his trauma and forcefully moved forward then it would stay buried, and then the Ossuary unexpectedly caught up to him, because you don't just bury things like that, it always comes back up at some point if you make no effort to actually process what happened.
And then there's nothing again for a long while. I can imagine Rook leaving space for Lucanis because they're considerate of his feelings and they can see something is deeply wrong, but still, something big and awkward happened between them! Not even one conversation where they try to gently broach the subject and Lucanis immediately clams up? What about some mentions of how awkward things suddenly are between the two? Even through party banter? We got plenty about Hawke and Fenris' situationship in DA2 after Fenris pulls away. The other companions comment on their breakup and how it's painfully obvious they're in love still, no matter what happened, and there are a few banters between Hawke and Fenris themselves. Surely things are a little tense and awkward between Rook and Lucanis as well at that point, and their friends would notice? They don't spend as much time together as they used to, Lucanis doesn't talk directly to Rook much anymore unless he has to, can't quite look them in the eye, doesn't want to stay alone in a room with them. He is still protective of them because he obviously cares very much, but can't bring himself to have an honest talk about his feelings and fears because he's still completely locked in his mind prison and would rather deal with his problems by stabbing his enemies.
Rook being lost because they haven't been inside his head yet and they're not sure if it's because of what Lucanis has been through, or if they did something wrong to get them rejected, and they're stuck because Lucanis completely refuses to open up. There are so many little things that could have been implemented to actually serve as the little steps for the slow burn. You're telling me even Emmrich or Neve, perceptive as they are, wouldn't have noticed their two friends suddenly being awkward and sad and not try to talk to Rook about it at the very least?
And then there's the mind prison where Rook gets all Lucanis' fears and insecurities explicitly told to them. Immediately followed by the scene where you lock in the relationship as he makes them dessert.
Were they in a relationship?? When did they get together? Do they get together right there in the kitchen by the sheer power of cake (ok, relatable)? You don't know! They almost kiss, things are theoretically painfully awkward between them for a while, Rook discovers the substance of his trauma, and poof. They're a couple. Yes, I know that Lucanis' love language is acts of service, but did they communicate at all at any point about what's going on between them? Surely even if Rook helping him out of his head puts him on the road to eventual recovery, it didn't suddenly erase all of Lucanis' trauma and fears and doubts.
I liked Rook calling out the subtext of what Lucanis says in that scene (“it's nothing, or not enough”/”it is, and you are”), I did think it was sweet and perceptive of them. But still, we go from attraction to pulling away to suddenly committing to a relationship with never actually discussing exactly what goes on between them. Never outright deciding they want to try something serious. There wouldn't have been much actual flirting or sincere conversations between them after the almost-kiss, for obvious reasons, so how does Lucanis know Rook hasn't moved on/isn't angry at him after all this time, considering how they didn't communicate at all afterwards and he's not exactly the best at feelings and self-confidence? He just talks as if it's a given they're attracted to him still, and only worries about not being good enough for them. I wanted crumbs of reassurance from Rook, more than what we got, because Lucanis' probable guilt is never actually tackled in any way – he had perfectly valid reasons to pull away, of course, but considering how much he blames himself for anything and everything, I'm pretty sure he would also blame himself for hurting Rook's feelings, even if they're understanding and not actually angry with him at all.
Idk. I have a lot of thoughts, especially about the middle of his romance. The last big scene we get is one of my favorites through all dragon age games, it was so sweet, but I still felt like the entire middle part of the romance lacked a lot of slow burn crumbs, and I was still hungry when I got to the end.
#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis x rook#rookanis#dragon age veilguard#veilguard spoilers#veilguard critical
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u have beautiful writing and it’s honestly a talent! you’re so quick with it like hello? may u please do how arcane characters would react to having a partner who likes making handmade gifts instead of buying them? me personally i LOVE making handmade gifts because it seems more beautiful putting in work for my friends and family! honestly you’re my favorite writer on this app I’ll most definitely think about makin u a handmade gift! you’re so cool!
FIRST OFF??? YOU are the coolest person EVER and reading your message made me do a little happy dance in my chair, so thank you for THAT! 🥹 The fact that you’re out here pouring love into handmade gifts for your friends and family?? ICONIC. Handmade gifts are SO slept on, and you’re out here proving they’re the superior love language. If I could, I’d be your hype squad 24/7. (Also, i would ugly cry if you made me a gift Mamas.)
Okay, okay, let’s jump into how the Arcane characters would react to having a partner who loves making handmade gifts because spoiler: they’re all gonna be absolutely obsessed with you. Let’s GO.
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Jinx
Jinx would LOSE HER MIND every single time you gave her a gift. She’s such a sucker for anything you pour your heart into.
• “Wait, wait—YOU made this? For ME?” She’s staring at it with huge eyes like you just handed her a treasure map.
• She’d keep EVERYTHING you give her, no matter what it is. You could hand her a crocheted pigeon and she’d be like, “This is the best thing anyone’s ever given me.”
• She’d totally try to make something for you in return, but it’d be chaotic as hell. Like, you’d get a DIY flamethrower or something held together with duct tape and glitter.
Basically, she’s your number one fan and would brag about you constantly.
Vi
Vi is playing it cool, but deep down, she’s melting into a puddle of feelings. She’d get all quiet when you give her something and just kinda… stare at it like she can’t believe someone would put in that much effort for her.
• If you made her something wearable, like a bracelet or beanie? That thing is NEVER coming off.
• She’s not much for words, but she’d pull you into a tight hug and just whisper, “Thanks. I mean it.”
• Also, if anyone dares to make fun of your gifts, she’s throwing hands. (“What’d you say about my partner’s hand-painted mug? Yeah, that’s what I thought.”)
Sevika
Sevika would be SO caught off guard when you hand her a gift. She’s not used to people doing thoughtful stuff for her, so she’s just… staring at you, holding your gift like it’s a foreign object.
• If it’s something practical, like a leather pouch or gloves? She’s putting them to use immediately. And trust, she’ll let everyone know her partner made them.
• If it’s something sentimental? She’s keeping it tucked away somewhere safe, but you’ll catch her looking at it when she thinks you’re not watching.
She’s a little rough around the edges, but trust me, she cherishes EVERY handmade thing you give her.
Silco
Silco would be SO intrigued by the concept of handmade gifts. Like, he’s trying to figure out why you’d put in so much effort instead of just buying something. But the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes it’s because you care about him. And yeah, that hits him right in his cold, scheming heart.
• Something elegant or functional, like a pen case or a decorative box? He’s putting it on his desk like it belongs in a museum.
• Something more emotional, like a portrait of him and Jinx? He’ll treasure it forever but keep it private—it’s too precious for the world to see.
You’ve officially cracked the Silco Code: thoughtful effort = instant softie.
Vander
Vander is 100% DAD MODE ACTIVATED every time you give him something. He’s smiling so big it hurts, just standing there like, “You made this? For me?”
• If it’s something for the bar, like a new sign or decoration? He’s putting it up immediately and making everyone compliment it.
• More personal gifts, like a knitted scarf? He’s rocking it every single day, even if it’s summer.
• He’d also love hearing about your process, sitting there with his tea like, “Tell me about this one. What inspired you?” Big golden retriever vibes, honestly.
Ekko
Ekko would be OBSESSED with your gifts. Like, you’ve unlocked a whole new love language for him.
• If you made him something for the Firelights, like a custom mask or patch? He’s adding it to his gear immediately. “Look at this! My partner made it. Isn’t it sick?”
• If it’s something sentimental, he’d carry it around like a good luck charm. It could be the tiniest trinket, and he’d be like, “This? This is everything.”
• He’d also 100% try to make something for you in return. Now you’ve got matching handmade energy, and everyone is jealous of your vibes.
Jayce
Jayce would be SO touched by your gifts. This man is a golden retriever in human form, so every time you give him something, he’s beaming like you just made his whole week.
• If it’s something for his lab, like a personalized toolbox? He’s showing it off to Viktor like, “Look what my partner made. Aren’t they amazing?”
• Something sentimental, like a framed photo or painting? He’s hanging it in his house and telling EVERYONE about it.
Jayce is basically your personal hype squad, and he’s never gonna stop appreciating your creativity.
Viktor
Viktor would be SO soft about your gifts. Like, he’s not used to people going out of their way for him, so when you hand him something, he’s just sitting there like, “You made this? For me?”
• If it’s something practical, like a custom notebook for his designs, he’s using it every day and thinking of you while he works.
• Sentimental gifts, like a sketch or keepsake? He’s keeping them close, tucked away in a spot where he can see them when he needs a boost.
You’d inspire him to start tinkering on something special just for you. Now you’ve got your own Viktor Original™.
Caitlyn
Caitlyn would be SO charmed by your gifts. She’s used to fancy, expensive things, but the effort and love you put into your handmade stuff? That’s what gets her.
• Make her something practical, like gloves or a scarf? She’s wearing them CONSTANTLY and bragging to everyone.
• If it’s more sentimental, like a personal letter or drawing? She’s keeping it somewhere safe and rereading it when she misses you.
Caitlyn loves thoughtful gestures, so you’re basically her dream partner. Period.
Mel Medarda
Mel would be absolutely enchanted by your gifts. She’s surrounded by luxury, but your handmade work feels so much more personal.
• Something elegant, like jewelry or an intricate painting? She’s showing it off at council meetings like it’s priceless.
• Something heartfelt? She’s keeping it in her private quarters where she can admire it when she’s alone.
Mel would also encourage you to turn your craft into a business because she believes in your talent 100%.
Ambessa Medarda
Ambessa would be IMPRESSED. She’s a practical person, so if you make her something functional, like a knife sheath or leather gear, she’s putting it to use immediately.
• If it’s sentimental, she’d keep it hidden, but trust—it means a lot to her.
She’d respect your dedication and probably compare you to a warrior. “It takes discipline to create something with your own hands.”
Heimerdinger
Heimerdinger would be THRILLED. He LOVES creativity, and your handmade gifts would light up his world.
• If you made him something clever or whimsical, he’s showing it off to everyone in Piltover. “Look what my partner made! Aren’t they brilliant?”
• Sentimental stuff? He’s putting it in his workshop where he can admire it while he tinkers.
He’d also want to collaborate on a project with you because you’re basically his new favorite inventor.
Salo
Okay, Salo would be one of those people who doesn’t know how to react at first, but you’d totally catch him staring at your gift later, all soft and thoughtful.
• If you made him something like a carved figurine or a small keepsake, he’d keep it in his pocket for good luck and touch it when he’s thinking about you.
• He wouldn’t be super showy about it, but you’d KNOW it meant a lot to him when he said something lowkey like, “You didn’t have to, but… thanks. This is nice.”
• Deep down, he’d be so touched that you took the time to make something just for him. Handmade gifts just hit different for someone like Salo, who appreciates quiet, meaningful gestures.
Scar
Scar is giving CHAOTIC, “OMG YOU MADE THIS??” energy every single time. Like, no matter what it is, he’s holding it up like you just gifted him the crown jewels.
• If you made him something goofy, like a silly little knitted hat or a bracelet, he’s rocking it IMMEDIATELY. “Look at this! My partner made it! Aren’t they the best?”
• He’d totally try to “help” you make stuff sometimes, but he’d just end up making a mess and laughing about it the whole time.
• Scar is your ultimate hype man, always gassing you up and telling everyone how talented you are. You could hand him a macaroni necklace, and he’d be like, “Masterpiece. Absolute masterpiece.”
Maddie Nolen
Maddie is secretly the softest bean about your handmade gifts. Like, she’d be a little shy at first when you gave her something, but you’d catch her smiling at it later when she thought you weren’t looking.
• If you made her something practical, like a cozy scarf or a cute notebook, she’d use it all the time and feel so warm and fuzzy knowing it came from you.
• Sentimental gifts? She’s absolutely treasuring them forever. She’d keep them somewhere special, like her desk or bedside table, and glance at them whenever she’s missing you.
• Maddie would totally ask about your process too, like, “How did you even come up with this? It’s amazing.” She’s so supportive, and your gifts would mean the world to her.
Lest
Lest would be absolutely ENCHANTED by your handmade gifts. Like, she’d hold them so gently, as if she’s afraid of breaking something so precious.
• If you made her something elegant or delicate, like a hand-painted vase or a piece of embroidery, she’d treat it like it’s the most valuable thing she owns.
• Lest would also love the thought and care behind your gifts. She’s the type to listen closely when you explain how you made something, nodding along with genuine interest.
• You’d totally catch her showing off your gifts to her friends, like, “My partner made this. Isn’t it beautiful?” She’d treasure everything you give her, no matter how big or small.
And that’s it! TL;DR: YOU are a gift, and every Arcane character would feel insanely lucky to have someone as thoughtful and creative as you. Keep being amazing, bestie. 💜
#x reader#arcane x reader#character x reader#imagine#arcane imagine#headcannons#arcane#arcane headcanon#jinx arcane#jinx x reader#arcane sevika#silco x reader#arcane silco#arcane jayce#arcane victor#victor arcane#arcane vander#vi arcane#maddie arcane#ambessa medarda#mel medarda#lest arcane#firelight ekko#arcane ekko#ekko arcane
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here’s why the situation with bismuth says a lot about rose’s dynamic with pearl
surprisingly, the bismuth episode says a lot about rose’s feelings for pearl.
rose kept many secrets, but pearl carried some of the heaviest ones. at first, rose felt guilty about the fact that pearl was keeping such big secrets for her.
but by the end of the war, rose was keeping a huge secret from pearl
“we thought you’d been captured. or worse, shattered.” — pearl, bismuth
rose knew how close pearl was to bismuth, but she lied to everyone about what happened, claiming bismuth had been lost in battle. she even acted “worried sick,” as pearl describes when bismuth comes back. for thousands of years, pearl believed bismuth was probably dead.
as we know, rose was deeply ashamed of herself and her past. she believed that everyone around her was better than her & she also really admired pearl. the guilt of lying to pearl was overwhelming, but rose was very afraid to tell pearl the truth. she also couldn’t bear the thought of losing her… but at the same time, the guilt made her feel unworthy of being close to her.
this guilt caused rose to become avoidant and distant—not because she didn’t care, and not because she didn’t trust pearl.
she didn’t trust herself. she couldn’t imagine a life without pearl, but she also felt like all she did was cause pain and she was terrified of hurting pearl again.
rose’s dishonesty (and being too afraid to tell pearl the truth) is also very related to rose’s trauma on homeworld. when it was known that she messed up, rose would be met with pain (punishment) or abandonment (being locked in a tower). rose trusted pearl, but taking accountability scared her because on homeworld, these situations never ended in anything positive, such as forgiveness and fixing things for the better. rose also believed she deserved to be abandoned if she messed up. self-compassion was something rose struggled with deeply.
pearl, on the other hand, didn’t understand rose’s avoidance and hesitancy until much later, after learning the truth about bismuth
before this, pearl was insecure & she struggled with self blame. this is tied to her homeworld trauma—the belief that her worth is defined by what she can do for others. she wondered if she had done something wrong and she questioned whether she “wasn’t good enough” for rose to love her as much as she loved rose.
but rose was very, very in love with her; it’s been confirmed that their love was never unrequited, so it’s funny that some people in the fandom assume this before thinking about bismuth
rose never distanced herself because she didn’t love pearl; she did it because of guilt and shame. she did it because she didn’t believe she deserved someone who made her so happy.
& here’s something interesting: pearl continued to love rose after she found out the truth. she showed no signs of wishing she left her. in reunited, she thought everything i do, i do it for her while she was fighting. she would never see this action as being okay or defensible, and she likely felt some bitterness for awhile which is understandable. but she never stopped loving her, nor did she want to abandon her.
by the way, i think that lying about bismuth was one of rose’s worst actions. i don’t think this makes her a bad person, especially because she felt guilty about this lie. i just hope you guys know that this analysis isn’t me trying to justify what she did. it wasn’t okay! the whole purpose of writing this is just to show that rose really was in love with pearl. her behaviours are never from a place of not being in love with her—they’re from a place of having her own issues and feeling undeserving of love from someone like pearl.
#thankie soup for reviewing this bc of my adhd brain fog :3#pearlrose#steven universe#crystal gems#pink diamond#su analysis#rose quartz#pearl su#su bismuth#su#rosepearl#pearl x rose#meta su
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Problem.
Summary: Pogues abandoning little!reader after she did an awful mistake. Rafe is here to show her that she’s not alone.
Warnings: Age regression, angst, slight fluff in the end.
Words counter: 1,3 k
Author’s note: I used scene from the „Arcane” as the reference for this fic!!🫶🏻
Pogues had never shown their disappointment in you or even told you that they weren’t pleased with your actions. They never showed you any signs of anger, especially not when you were in the little space. No matter how bad your mistakes were, they would just try to ensure you that everything is alright. They didn’t want you to know how hard it is to clean up your mess. And you couldn’t even think of anything about them being tired of you.
After all, every mistake can be fixed, right?
Tonight you found out that you were actually wrong, and there are some mistakes that unfortunately can’t be fixed, not at all.
„Stay here, kid.”
JJ said to you an hour ago, as they were getting ready to go on another fight with some people that they had introduced to you as the „bad guys." You wanted to help them, but since you were regressed, they came up with the decision that it would be better for you to just stay inside the truck while they would be dealing with all of that. You agreed, just so they wouldn’t have to worry about you while fighting, and then you watched them leave.
„Good wuck…”
You whispered, but it seemed like nobody had heard you since they haven’t replayed, just closing the truck’s doors. Since they left, you became so much more anxious.
What if they would get hurt?
What if they would get killed?
What if, what if, what if...
You just couldn’t help yourself, but finding that small gun that was laying on the driver’s seat was very interesting. What if that small thing would help you get your friends out of trouble? You knew that you shouldn’t have touched the weapons, but you also knew that you wouldn’t let your friends get themselves in trouble.
Slowly you got off the truck and immediately saw them, staying there, just a few miles away from you. And there were also those bad guys, threatening your friends. Your heart ached seeing them in fear, so you approached them and shot.
A couple of times.
You obviously didn’t see how one of the bullets came through the JJ’s shoulder, and you also didn’t see that you almost shot Kiara right in the head. When the gun's magazine finally got empty, you opened your eyes, letting a weapon fall from your hands to the ground. Pogues were looking at you, and there was something on their faces that you had never seen before. It took a moment for you to understand that they were disappointed in you and also scared of what you just did. Everyone heads to the truck, letting JJ deal with you. They just didn’t know what to say, and they were obviously afraid of your reaction to their harsh words.
JJ wasn’t even looking at you; he was looking through you, as if you were something that he was finally ready to leave behind. You felt how your eyes felt with tears just from the amount of guilt that you were feeling right now. You opened your mouth, but before you could start to speak, JJ just shook his head.
„No. We’re done.”
He said, and his words made your knees weaker. He had never talked to you in such a cold manner, especially not when you were regressed. It seemed like you actually crossed the line trying to help them.
„They were right, you are a problem, and I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to deal with you anymore.”
His words were painful, but the sudden feeling of your knees hitting the hard ground brought even more pain, finally making you cry. Your cries were silent at first, but as soon as JJ had left your sight, silent sniffles turned into loud sobbing.
„Pwease, don’t go.”
You hugged your bloody knees, whispering some sort of pleading out loud, even though you knew that nobody would hear you. Or at least you thought so.
Rafe Cameron saw your small trembling figure, and he was intrigued. Something about that scene reminds him of himself when he was a child, left alone and crying for nobody to hear him. Rafe shook his head to get rid of that image.
Why would Pogues leave someone behind?
He almost felt bad, hearing your sobbing as he approached you. Your hair wet from the rain and your face puffy from all the tears. You probably needed someone to console you, or at least someone who would be there for you, right? And you would most probably do whatever it takes to not be abandoned again.
„Why are you here alone, little one?”
He asked, crouching down in front of you, waiting for you to answer his question. You rubbed your eyes in a childish manner, trying to focus your gaze on the man. He wasn’t looking like he was planning to hurt you, and even if he would, it wouldn’t hurt as much as getting abandoned by a Pogues did.
You looked at him for another second, and then you jumped on him, hugging him tightly with your little arms. Both of you were lying on the ground now, but he didn’t seem to protest. He didn’t hug you back, though, not yet.
„They left me, Pogues left me.”
You whispered, trying not to start sobbing again. His eyes widened, as he couldn’t believe what he had just heard. How could they call themselves a family when they’re leaving their people behind? The thoughts of getting left were hurting your little heart so bad that you almost screamed but felt two strong arms picking you up from the ground just in time. You didn’t know who that man was, but the need in someone’s care right now made you desperate enough to accept his attention. You hugged his neck with your hands, hiding your face there as he was trying to calm you down.
„I’m lonely”
Rafe chuckled at your pitiful voice, hugging you tighter. He wasn’t the big fan of hugs, but he knew that you needed that right now. He also knew that you were way too tired now to give him any information about yourself or at least explain what happened previously, but he also knew that you wouldn’t say „no” if he would offer you to go with him.
„You won’t be lonely for too long, little one.”
His words were gentle; he didn’t want you to get scared or overwhelmed. He could tell that you were close enough to yet another tantrum just because of the stress that you had experienced from getting left alone.
„I’m Rafe Cameron, can we be friends?”
You nodded, wanting at least someone to be around. You couldn’t stay alone, especially when you were regressed. He smirked at your response, knowing that he doesn’t want to be your friend. He wants to be your everything, and somehow you didn’t seem very against it.
„From that moment you will never be left alone again, baby.”
You looked at him with a small suspicion. It was hard for you to believe that someone might actually want to deal with you, and not leaving you behind when you would became too much. Rafe extended his pinky, his big hand approaching yours.
„Pinky pwomise?”
Your eyes widened, and your face turned more bright. For you, a pinky promise was something more meaningful than a signed contract or a proposal ring. You slowly connected your pinky with his, smiling happily.
„Pinky promise.”
He reassured you, giving you a gentle kiss on the nose, making you smile once again. After he saw that smile, he knew he wouldn’t ever let anyone make you cry.
Taglist: @marvelfanfics1 @aew-regression-cove @rafecameronsloverrrrr
#obx#rafe cameron x reader#age regression fic#little!reader#rafe cameron x pogue!reader#dark!rafe cameron#jj maybank#jj x reader
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Intoxicated
Summary: Sex Pollen! (based off my Gif Skit)
Inspiration Song: "Nashe si chadh gyi" by Arijit Singh (song had to be translated)
Requester: @GloriousLoki666 (wattpad)
Rating: R
Note: been awhile since i wrote another sex pollen one shot Lol This was my FIRST
Loki held his breath while the tips of his fingers assured the bowl was set down without a sound. His eyes flicked once again towards the door- no sign of Y/N. finally being able to relax, he smiled down at the plate of chocolate chip cookies and knew the only thing left to do now, was wait.
Luckily, Y/N and Loki were the only ones in the tower for the day, so mistakenly pranking anyone but her was nearly impossible. It has been like this for weeks, both bickering and throwing dry comments at each other before the insults slowly evolved to more physical action.
Pranks. Cruel ones at that, and this time it was Loki’s turn for revenge.
Having to buy the cookies from the store- due to the fact that he was still learning how to make things himself- it also assured Y/N that there was nothing tampered with so she’s just have to eat one. Or so she thought.. magic was helpful when it came to avoiding hands on methods so a simple enchantment had been in order.
Simply consuming a single cookie would send her into a sexual overdrive, making her have to pleasure herself for about 24 hours straight to be sated. It had been merely an equal punishment he chose out when she had made many jokes about his sex drive in front of the team, making them think he couldn’t win over a woman and relied upon his hand half the time. Well she’d have to do just that for how she tried to humiliate him..
With a smirk, Loki turned to leave only to find Y/N herself scampering into the kitchen for her usual ‘sweet tooth’ o’clock time ritual, as she called it- basically looking for something sweet in between responsibilities she was stuck with around here.
Casting a glance over at him, Loki busied himself in the fridge, looking as distracted and disinterested as he could while he hoped she would notice the plate on the island counter.
‘’Thor went shopping again?” she asked, glancing at the plate while Loki looked over his shoulder, pretending to notice them himself with a raised brow.
‘’perhaps, or perhaps I made them.’’
‘’you made them?” she asked with a hidden scoff, closing the cabinet to fully turn around and inspect the cookies on the plate.
‘’indeed darling, I’ve been brushing up on my Midgardian skills around here and figured it might be best to offer it as a.. truce.’’ He told her gently, closing the fridge to turn to her, resting his palms upon the counter across from her while the plate sat in between them.
Y/N looked at him again skeptically before she dropped her gaze at the cookies, inspecting it as if it were a bug that shouldn’t be there. While distracted, Loki found his own eyes taking in her attire- she took advantage of the cozy work quarters of the tower and opted to where an oversized hoodie and shorts. Her hair was a bit messy, indicating she had been working for quite a while- laying on her tummy in bed no doubt, as he’s caught her many times. The brief feeling of movement in his groin at the thought had his brow raising and his eyes moving to see if it were possible before her words snapped him out of the impossible.
‘’bullshit.’’
‘’excuse me?” he said almost offended.
‘’I want to call bullshit, you might as well have put laxatives or something in there. unless of course.. you have a bite.’’ She said calmly, looking up at him with a challenged look in which he straightened and took personally.
Pranking was a delicate business and any sere hesitation could give away his position to make it real. As a slight amount of panic set in, he also told himself that with the amount of sex pollen he had put in for her body weight, couldn’t possibly be enough to affect his Asgardian form. So, taking hold of one between his thumb and pointing finger, his eyes made eye contact with her while he raised it to his lips.
His expression was unreadable yet his eyes held the same amount of challenge in her own while he bites down on a decent yet small bite. Not once breaking eye contact, he let a small smirk show while he chewed before he waved a hand at the rest of the plate. ‘’fair, darling?”
Her own lips pulled to a smirk and she shrugged, walking past him while her arm grazed his own briefly while he turned to watch her walk away. ‘’not hungry, maybe later.’’
His eyes glared at her while she walked away, finding his gaze slowly move down to her swaying hips while he tried to focus on hating her. with a tiny sigh, he looked back at the plate to debate on throwing them out before her scent seemed to catch his attention. Turning back around as if to find her coming back, he didn’t find her there. The sound of her door shut down the hall while he was left inhaling deeply with his eyes fluttering closed.
‘gods.. did she always smell like that?’ he thought, his body tensing to feel another twitch come from his cock and he dropped his eyes to it through the pants. Slight panic squeezed his chest while his eyes rounded and rose towards the halls.
‘oh.. Norns..’
~ 3o minutes.. 30 minutes and still no relief. He had been at it none stop and slumped panting against his door while his hand dropped to his side in defeat. How much had he enchanted it with? Surely not a lot.. it should have only been mild with her mortal body in consideration.. he was a god! It should have barely got him aroused!
His eyes closed with furrowed brows while another wave of arousal hit him. his body tensed and he could feel more beads of sweat come to his temples while his shirt stayed unbuttoned with the prayer of perhaps the AC finally turning on. He was practically raw and sore and nothing he had thought of had worked. He even tried several enchantments but the issue at hand made concentrating difficult.
The worse part is, he could still smell her..
He probably could have suffered an hour of this than find himself at her door. It be to humiliating and would only provide her more content to tease him more. Yet 24 hours would nearly kill a person, him anyway for despite her constant teasing involving a lacking partner, his libido was very much high at all times.
It was hard to find ones willing when all the saw was ‘the destroyer of New York’ first.
After the last 30 minutes of debating, he knew this hour had been the worst in his life and it was not going to get any easier the more time passed. In fact, sex pollen normally worsened the more one waited and didn’t leave the victim a pretty sight if they didn’t get relief.
Growling, he finally put himself away and straightened himself out, pausing now and again to regain his body once another wave hit before he could continue. He wasn’t even sure what he was wanting to ask her while he stood at her door and his hand hesitated to knock while his body buzzed. He had been severely aroused by the mere scent of her, she was most likely the one who’d be able to cure him.. theoretically.
With a gentle knock he almost regretted, the door opened to find Y/N with a surprised look and a step back.
‘’..you don’t look well..’’ she told him, quickly giving him a look over.
‘’I need your assistance.’’ He mumbled, looking literally anywhere else but her.
‘’the medicine is behind the mirror in the bathr-‘’
‘’not- like that.. I’m afraid it’s a bit more complicated than that..’’ Loki sighed, keeping his arms crossed while he shifted uncomfortably for more matters than one. By her silence, his eyes dared to look at hers just to find them quickly switching up from where they most likely had been staring at but she regardless stepped aside and let him in.
Stepping inside, he closed his eyes to make explaining a bit easier while she shut the door behind him. even with her behind, it was as if she were right in front with her scent more intoxicating as ever. His lips parted, trying to find words but had to take a moment to regain himself while he turned to look at her with guilt.
‘’..I may have placed a dose of sex pollen into the dessert from earlier in hopes you would consume one as revenge from your sexual remarks the other day. I wasn’t aware a bite would affect me and this.. issue will only subside after at least 24 hours. Nothing I have been doing has been successful at fixing it but the spell indicates that the one whom the victim favors could.. rid of it faster.’’
Loki’s eyes rounded a little, stopping short after hearing himself through his rant. Did he just confess? By her own rounded eyes, it would appear that he did while she stared at him in shock and parted lips. The silence made him shift a little, causing her to indeed switch her eyes down to the evidence he had in his pants and another wave of arousal came over him. taking a step back, he hunched a little while drawing in a sharp breath, looking timidly at her while her eyes seemed to harden and her arms moved to cross over her chest.
‘’after all this time... after all this time of your insistent torment and teasing.. you suddenly come to me for help??’’
His eyes lowered with guilt while his voice began to sound horse with strain, fists clenching at his sides while he made sure to keep looking at her. ‘’..this is important-‘’
‘’then make it important.’’ She snapped, eyes narrowing while she held on to the audacity of him actually trying to sex poison her. ‘’you got yourself into this mess, how exactly are you going to fix it-‘’
‘’I know you’ve endured a lot and that is my fault-‘’ a slight groan left his lips while his eyes closed tight, slowly causing him to sink to his knees in front of her while he sucked in a breath and kept his hands in his lap to at least try to conceal the obvious.
Her eyes seemed to have less hate towards him while they followed him down, clearly seeing him in pain while she hugged her arms and held her breath.
‘’but.. but I'll make it up to you.. all of it just- please.. I need your help..’’ he said with a low voice, exhaustion washing over his body while he shifted on his knees again at the pressure.
The sight of a knee in front of him had his eyes raise to find her kneeling in front of him, eyes looking almost out of pity and hidden amusement- which almost seemed to be just as bad as hate while he held his tongue and watched her. ‘’karma is a bitch, isn't it?’’
His jaw tightened and he knew she was going to take advantage of this- half debating on just taking the left over 24 hours to avoid this humiliation if walking didn’t seem impossible right now. ‘’..it is..’’ he ground out.
‘’and what have we learned?” she asked, almost to innocently while her other knee joined the floor and her hands rested on her thighs to mirror his position.
His eyes seemed to study her, cruelty and all. She was intoxicating, how mischief seemed to mask his own and he almost wanted to laugh at the end of all this on how it backfired on him. despite their sarcasm, he almost found himself looking forward to their bickering and debates, her facial expressions that changed and her hip sways she offered while walking away from her own deliverance. Even now by the mere memories, he had to stop himself from leaning forward right then and there while his nails dug into his palms by her scent.
‘’..a prank will sometimes backfire..’’
‘’what else?” she asked, her voice seeming to drop lower to a whisper while her eyes studied him.
‘’...to never get the pollen involved specifically..’’ he grumbled, knowing she was relishing his state yet she hinted with a promise at the end of all this, so he stayed put in his submissive position.
Y/N nodded by his answer, a slow hand reaching out to be placed against his manhood, making his eyes slowly close with almost a relived breath by her simple action. ‘’and thus, we have a.. big problem..’’
If his eyes hadn’t been closed, he would have seen her shocked gaze upon her discovery of his size. Her eyes dropped down while her hand began to paw at him, making him tense and shiver while he drew in another sharp breath.
‘’yes..’’ he answered, not exactly sure of the question anymore as soon as he felt her hand press against his chest and push him down onto his back. His palms flattened against the soft carpet below him while his eyes fluttered open at the sound of his zipper.
‘’I like you to Loki, and despite our ways and differences.. I’m glad you came to me for help..’’ she whispered, honesty surprising him while he raised his head and propped himself up on his elbows while she worked at freeing his erection.
‘’you do?-‘’ he nearly groaned while she wrapped her hand around him, his eyes falling closed while her eyes took in the mere size of him.
‘’I do.. even if you’re a pain in the ass sometimes..’’ she smiled a little and bit her bottom lip while her eyes dropped to watch what she was doing eagerly.
‘’I could be,’’ he offered with a teasing smirk, having her hold in a small laugh before she began to gently stoke him and immediately shut him up.
He slowly moved back onto the carpet, his fingers hitting the floor at his sides and curling into the fabric while her hand moved smooth and steady around him. ‘’fuck..’’ he moaned out, his voice breathy while he could already feel relief beginning to wash over him.
She couldn’t help but smile while she watched his beautiful face contort and his body squirm now and again. It was almost like a sense of power, being able to make a god crumble by merely her hand and it only urged her to stroke him faster. She could feel her own arousal hint between her legs, causing her thighs to press together while her thumb now and again ran against the tip and spread his pre-cum more onto his cock.
‘’gods Y/N.. you’re.. ‘’ he shuddered and felt his hips buck up into her hand now and again while he couldn’t even finish his sentence. She was amazing, skilled and beautiful in every which way. Even through the trials and turmoil she was still willing to help him. he even began to wonder when her attraction began towards him but he’d have to ask later.
‘’you’re so big..’’ she breathed, her inner thought speaking out loud while she still tried to believe what she was holding. Without missing a beat, she granted her wants and lowered her mouth onto his tip, flicking her tongue against him and earned a colorful curse word from Loki while he moaned his name.
‘’you feel amazing darling..’’ he breathed, a hand slowly moving to rest against her head, allowing her to set the pace but his fingers began to automatically curse into her silky hair.
She let out a hum, sending vibrations through him in which he bucked up again, making her move her other hand to his hip to try to keep him down while the other continued to pump him. now her mouth began to lower, sucking and licking at what she could take in while her hand covered the rest.
Old Norse language seemed to slip from Loki’s mouth, whispers and broken sentences while his brows furrowed and his body tensed. ‘’I’m almost t-there Y/N.. please- fuck..’’ he moaned, tightening his hold on her hair while he restrained himself from pushing her down.
Moving even faster, a moan left her own mouth while she stroked and sucked. There was a lot to work with and her thighs shifted frequently to relieve some of the pressure of her own between them until he felt his hand pushing her more down onto him.
‘’fuck- Y/N!” he moaned a curse, her name like music on his lips while he felt his orgasm crash and his hips bucked up into her on their own accord.
She eagerly drank him, gripping his hips tightly with both hands while she stayed where he had her. her legs shook and her eyes looked up at him as if she were drunk and pleased. Panting, he felt a tired grin tug his lips while he slowly let go of her hair and stroked her head, his hand falling down to caress her cheek before he felt himself soften a bit and she released him from his mouth.
His head laid down with exhaustion, relief enveloping him while he took in a deep breath and his body relaxed. ‘’thank you.. Y/N..’’ he said quietly while he felt her crawl up his body to straddle his mid-section, hands at his chest while she looked down at him with a pleased smile.
‘’were you really not hungry?” he asked with a small grin, hands coming to rest at her hips while she shook her head, remembering the cookies.
‘’I knew there was something up with them as soon as I saw them. The best part about baking, is the fresh smell it leaves and there was nothing to be found in the entire tower. So store buying them was the first hint, and knowing you, there had to be something else.’’
Loki hummed at his mistakes, wanting to kick himself for it if he didn’t feel himself getting hard again with her on top. This time it didn’t hurt and from her rosy cheeks, he knew she had noticed as well.
‘’you weren’t joking about your libido..’’ she teased, biting her bottom lip while she began to tease him with the rock of her hips and his lips tugged into a smirk at what she said next.
‘’I got something you could eat..’’
DM a song and/or Loki Gif for your own Musical Mischief one shot and/or Gif Skit :D
Tag List: @foxherder13 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @fire-in-her-veinz @nervouseden @kathren1sky-blog @eleniblue @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @queenofstarsign85 @slytherinqueen4life @jadekillian
#loki odinson#loki laufeyson#loki god of mischief#loki x reader smut#loki fanfic#loki fluff#loki x reader#lokifluff#loki smut#loki
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hello! i've liked ansy's adventure for a while, and i noticed how you play on japanese names for the pokemon, especially for mizumi's and sasmu's. what do you think of the languages in the pokemon world? i can guess hisuian equals japanese, but does sinnohan/kantonese also translate into japanese? or the four japanese-based regions are adapted into english ( or unovan?) i don't know if i'm explaining myself, but how do you view the pkmn languages and their equivalents in our world?
こんばんは! Good evening! Thank you for following along ^o^/
Class is in session lol! Professor Laventon seems to be most comfortable writing in his native Galarian, though he also has various notes in traditional “Japanese”, written vertically & read right to left.
So, language is a very interesting thing in fiction, & the Pokeverse is no exception! Through the games (& especially the latest ones, Scarlet / Violet) we’ve had a number of characters who spoke in different languages. I remember a couple of NPC’s in BW Unova, there’s Fantina in Sinnoh who peppers her speech with Kalosian (French), & a Hiker on Galar’s Route 6 who spoke what I’m guessing was Paldean (Spanish) rather than Galarian (English). Then in SV, we have Mr. Salvatore who teaches (& uses) many languages (off the top of my head, I remember him teaching how to say “thank you” in Spanish, French, Chinese, & German).
It does get tricky when it comes to the “Japanese” regions of Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh / Hisui, & Kitakami, as those regions otherwise make up one country in our world, but this has yet to have been canonically established (which is why I always put “Japan” / “Japanese” in quotes, as there currently isn’t a name for that one country, same with “America”). I do believe they share the same language - at the very least Hisui & Kitakami have the same written script, & I feel pretty confident that if they were to retcon it, they would have the other “Japanese” regions use it, too (before Legends Arceus, they just used random shapes that didn’t seem to spell anything, which I interpreted to just be placeholder characters).
If there is a common language in their world (& I think is, from characters from different regions being able to talk to each other no problem), I personally would guess it to be “Japanese” - as we look at the other regions, we can see a sort of Japanese flavor that would otherwise not be there (though they clearly did their homework on the various parts of the world these regions reflect!). Of course, Pokémon is from Japan, so it would make sense that they would add some of their own culture to this world they created. For a possible in-universe explanation, the Pokeverse seemed to have started in Japan (specifically in Sinnoh as we learned in Legends Arceus, so I guess their universe actually is geocentric like old astronomers used to think ours was?).
I think that’s about it. In DxP REWRITE, while my own language is American-English (& beginner-level Japanese lol) so I read the characters to be speaking American-English, they are actually speaking “Japanese” while in Sinnoh (which is why I haven’t really been peppering Ansy’s dialogue with Japanese). I have tried to write in the “Japanese” or Galarian scripts for signs & things a couple times:
The sign just says “Gear Station”
Here I (tried to lol) translate Mizumi’s letter to Japanese then wrote it out in in-game characters (in the modern horizontal, as Mizumi is from the modern era writing to someone in the modern era).
Thanks for reading yet another post of me geeking out lol. Feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments! じゃあ、またね! Until next time! ^o^/
—
PS: For funsies, here’s the (non-canonical, as these were made by fans) references I’ve been using when writing in either Galarian or “Japanese” in DxP REWRITE:
I personally was confused by the “Japanese” script also being alphabetical rather than phonetic like hiragana / katakana (two common scripts in Japan, the first being mostly used to spell Japanese words while katakana is used to spell foreign words - the third script, kanji, is used to write whole words). If that is the case (which is how I wrote it in Mizumi’s letter), “Japanese” is written in what’s called “romanji”, where they write out words in the Latin (aka Roman) alphabet rather than phonetically: “ありがとうございます” becomes “arigatō-gozaimasu” (“thank you very much”).
Whether it is actually written out that way in game though…? At a glance of the signs I saw in Hisui & Kitakami, it does look like it’s more like hiragana & kanji instead, but this chart is all I got for now. Any Japanese folks or fluent Japanese-readers who can tell me if there’s anything out there in the Japanese fandom about this, please lemme know so I can do right by it into future - as of writing this, I haven’t seen much else among the English-speaking fandom 8u8;
As for the Galarian script, it’s clearly based on the Latin alphabet that much of the Western world uses for our various languages - we see it in Paldea as well as Galar, & according to the trailer in Pokemon ZA, they retconned it to be used in Kalos as well. In universe, I wonder if they were at all influenced by the Unown, being based on the Latin alphabet themselves. Again, who knows? (though I question the accuracy of this particular font / chart: if it is, the first thing Laventon’s chalkboard says “REXBOQ” lol XD)
#pokemon#lore#DxP Ask#Ask#lots of geeking out#language#the struggle of being someone who likes languages but is TERRIBLE at grammar lol XD
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fic rec 16!
SO! i haven’t been reading fic in a long time bc i’ve been reading books BUT, discovered this fic rec in my drafts from 2022 lol oops!
This is purely a fic rec blog, always reblogging fics I enjoy. usually Bucky x reader, sometimes Steve x reader, Chris Beck x reader, etc. So check out more I’ve reblogged on this page. :)
PREVIOUS FIC RECS HERE! // Q & A
Bucky x reader:
A Correspondence of Obligations by @pellucid-constellations prince!Bucky x princess!reader
“ Obedience, duty, pristine smiles—raised as the princess of an oppressive kingdom, you knew nothing else. Your father signed your life away at the ripe age of five, black ink bleeding into a contract between nations, fate cemented with the flick of a quill. So when the time came to fulfill the promises you were too young to make, you expected much of the same in the land of Brookshire. But Prince James had other plans, as did the enemies looming outside the castle walls.”
Sky Full of Song by @wkemeup pirate!Bucky x pirate/siren!reader
“Despite the bitter resentment of the crew, you found a home on Captain Barnes’ ship; on the ocean where you belonged, at the side of a captain you swore loyalty and heart to. But when course is plotted for a legendary island, the secret that has kept you alive for years is threatened to be revealed.”
Starting Gate by @navybrat817 motocross!Bucky x reader
“You attract the attention of your coworker's friend who just happens to be a handsome racer who plays for keeps.”
Oath by @softlybarnes (part of the Sugar series but can be reader alone) 40s Bucky x reader
“Bucky finally proposes to Y/N.”
Awake My Soul by @foreverindreamlandd Bucky x reader (Zombie apocalypse au)
“It’s been five years since zombies first started walking the Earth, destroying anything and everything in their wake. Now, in this apocalyptic world, fighting for survival comes as naturally as breathing. The one thing you’ve learned ever since they arrived, though, is that the living can be so much more dangerous than the undead. When you stumble across two young, scared boys lost in the woods and being chased by walkers, you go against your better judgment and help them to safety. Little did you know that helping them would lead you to Bucky - an angry, grumpy, distrusting member of the camp Shield. Bucky has zero interest in having you enter his life. He’s been hurt before and lost too many people to risk experiencing that kind of pain again, and he knows that there are secrets you aren’t telling the group. Yet, when push comes to shove, and you’re put at risk, he’ll stop at nothing to keep you safe.”
No Such Thing by @sanguineterrain college athlete!Bucky x reader
“You’ve been assigned to write a column for your school paper on the team’s spectacular running back. You don’t care very much for your university’s football team; you just can’t understand the hype, okay? Turns out your distaste for football bigheads was exactly on point: James Barnes is insufferable.”
Appointments by @buckycuddlebuddy Bucky x reader
“bucky barnes, finally being able to live freely in 21st century, accidentally gets a fuck buddy and starts to rediscover himself. the only weird thing about this situation is that you have to make an appointment to get railed by him.”
Recipe for Disaster by @seventven dad’s best friend!Bucky x reader
“your dad’s best friend bucky knows you have a crush on him. your parents invite him to join your family for the annual winter vacation”
In the Embers by @foreverindreamlandd Firefighter!Bucky x Fem!Plus Size!Adopted Rogers!Reader
“Bucky Barnes. The boy next door. Your brother’s best friend. The guy you’ve been in love with for as long as you can remember. Unrequited, that is, seeing that he only thinks of you as a sister (at least, that’s what you always thought). It’s been about a decade since you’ve returned home and reunited with the boy - now man - with stunning blue eyes and a smile that still puts a million butterflies in your stomach. You never expected to come back, thinking that you’d spend the rest of your life as a famous artist in Los Angeles with your boyfriend/manager. But things change, life gets messy, and now you’re back in your childhood bedroom living with your mom and working at the townie bar to make ends meet while you try to figure out what the hell to do next. The one thing that hasn’t changed? Bucky Barnes is still the boy next door, and there’s no running from him this time.”
Love in Four Acts by @chouettedubois neighbor MCU Bucky x nurse!reader
“You’re a nurse living in Brooklyn. You’ve got a crush on your next door neighbour who doesn’t seem to know you exist. One day his cat finds its way into your apartment, forcing you both to finally meet. That’s when you learn that he’s James Buchanan Barnes, ex-Winter Soldier. Well, there goes your chances. Or maybe getting close to a superhero isn’t as far-fetched as it sounds.”
Plaything part one + two by @captain-buckyyy virgin!Bucky x reader
“bucky’s innocence is just too much for you to resist”
calamitous love series by @classylo princess!reader x commoner!bucky
“Reader is a modern princess under immense pressure to marry before she takes the crown, she choose her Prince Charming four years ago… but he didn’t choose her back. He left her with a broken heart and her kingdom to rule alone. Four years later, reader is in an arranged engagement with a man who she can see herself loving… one day… everything seems to be falling into place until her original prince shows up at her engagement party determined to win her back before her wedding day.”
Not Even a Little by @intrepidacious roommate!Bucky x reader, modern au
“The problem of living with Bucky is that he makes it impossible not to fall in love with him. Even though you could list several hundred reasons why it’s a bad idea. And you have.”
Followed You by @cwbucky Bucky x reader
“You meet this guy named Bucky through Instagram. Even though neither of you knows what the other person looks like, you two immediately connect. Things get complicated when you start your new job at Stark Industries and you catch a glimpse of the handsome Sergeant Barnes.”
Matched by @nony-bear Alpha!Bucky x omega!reader
“Bucky Barnes always dreamed of settling down with a mate but after decades of trauma leaving him a grumpy old man with a robotic arm he’s convinced no one could love an alpha like him. Begrudgingly he follows his therapist advice and enrolls in the Swan Program a mate matching program offered but the new aged bio-tech company Mate-Tech”
Body Talk by @boxofbonesfic trainer!Bucky x plus size!reader
“You’re determined to come out of this breakup a better you, but Bucky likes the you you are.”
King in Your Story by @sinner-as-saint viking!Bucky x princess!reader
“Everyone in your father’s Kingdom knows that the Vikings often raid the castle’s warehouses. They take anything they want. Food, gold, weapons. Although they never seem to hurt your subjects. But you had had enough. Given your training, and your need to defend your Kingdom, your father agrees to let you trap the Vikings and bring them in for negotiation because this habit of theirs needs to be stopped. You hated the Vikings, and you thought you always would. Until the moment you met a pair of blue eyes which made your world stand still. Bucky was the Chief of his people; muscular, rough and tumble, and arrogant. Not to mention a shameless flirt, and he got on your nerves the most. But you knew it from the very day you laid eyes on his very handsome face that no matter how hard you tried, some part of you couldn’t fully hate him, nor resist him - even if he was the rival.”
Oh Baby, Oh Baby by @tooearlyforthis Bucky x reader
“As a new recruit, y/n isn’t allowed to go on all the missions yet. To make matters worse, they left behind another, someone that she had despised ever since she first stepped foot in the compound - James Buchanan Barnes.”
Before You by @m4tthewmurd0ck prince!Bucky x baker!reader
reader is a baker who happens to work at a shop the royals enjoy getting baked goods from :)
Steve Rogers x reader:
Rising Tide by @pellucid-constellations surfer!Steve x reader
“A relationship built up from the ocean floor, you and Steve had lifetime worth of memories—most best friends did. But things were beginning to change, unspoken feelings creating a rift that cast a shadow over the bond you called home. Unfortunately for you, rip currents are often hardest to spot in the dark”
#Bucky Barnes#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky x y/n#bucky x Female Reader#alpha bucky x omega reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes imagine#Bucky Barnes x female reader#Steve Rogers#steve x reader#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers x you#mcu bucky#royal au#royal!au#princess!reader#prince!bucky#college!bucky#athlete!bucky#Viking!bucky#trainer!bucky#abo#abo bucky#roommate!au
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Some more thoughts/observation regarding Viktor and whatever he had going on his cult because I'm obsessed.
First of all, what exactly was Salo doing there? He went to the power source of the Hex Gates to get some (raw) Hextech crystals I assume but this leave me with more questions than answers.
For what exactly did Viktor need the crystals?
I would assume stealing from the source, which is locked behind a specific key (which seem to only open with Hextech) makes it easier do than from higher up of the Hex Gates. Considering Viktor's followers are just an extension from Viktor himself, they have the easiest option to sneak into it.
Also, Salo wears no protection gear, something that the people who maintain the Hextech Gate clearly do as seen in Season 1.
One detail I didn't catch while watching the first time is that the discussion between Jayce and Viktor happens in the Wild Rune and also seems to be Viktor who frees Jayce from it.
(Maybe Viktor knew something about Jayce being trapped in the Wild Rune which would explain why only Jayce materialized when Salo appeared and Heimerdinger and Ekko are still missing.)
So more interesting details - first of all Salo wasn't breathing the whole dialogue. You can see how Jayce breath condensed in the Hex Gates while Salo's never did. It also lines up that Jayce saw some empty husk creature whenever he looked at Viktor's followers.
Not consider how creepy the whole scene was because we see Salo is absolutely not acting like Salo, constantly switching to being possessed by Viktor.
Also, when Jayce dispose of the empty husk that once Salo was, the blood is not just red but also prismatic. His body has been also fundamentally changed from the inside.
Also Viktor doesn't seen to really care that Jayce just killed someone? Like sure, he is worried for Jayce and mentioned that someone is in his head but she shows no pity for Salo who just got killed?
I continue that none of the Viktor's followers actually acted like normal human being. Like Huck showed no sign of fear when the Noxian appear with their weapon, nor do any other people reacted with fear when Jayce appears with his weapon in his hand and clearly not best mental state.
As someone else already pointed out, you don't see anyone doing anything but to work. No children playing, no people talking with each other. Again, not human, not normal.
Whenever Viktor touched someone and tries to heal them, you can see how he left his fingerprints on them. (Vander/Warwick has them as well.)
Interesting Viktor could spot Jayce mental state without touching him, makes me wonder how close he needs to be to a person. Maybe Jayce is a special case because they both are touched by the Arcane?
When Singed talked with Viktor, Singed touched Vikor's hand and he instantly glimpsed into Singed mind. It seems to be not even an active thing he does.
(Does it mean back then Jayce hugged him after he just woke up from his metamorphosis did he already had seen the weapons Jayce had crafted during that time in his mind?)
Interesting that Singed mentioned that Viktor grows weaker, you would assume whatever the Hexcore does should be like a virus, so more people would make it stronger and not weaker.
Was this the reason why Viktor wanted the Hextech Crystals? To make a new Hexcore to replace his failing energy source? So many question, no answers.
Also what exactly was Viktor doing when he was levitating while being connected via strings to something? Did the writers just need a reason why Viktor would not try fight back when Jayce appeared? Did he was ready to face the possibility that Jayce could actually do harm to him?
Jayce goes into the room, does the shot and refusing to even look when he was firing it. There is one frame there you can see mirror version of Jayce reading the shot, it makes me wonder how often he went to Viktor and tried to change the outcome.
Jayce also left immediately once the deed was done. While Jayce was clearly tearing up, he ran way instantly.
Viktor just watched Jayce do the shot, fear in his eyes and he couldn't stop staring at him until his last breath was leaving him. The cog (which is not the same one during Hextech breakthrough) rolled away from his hand.
We know that Viktor ends the episode with his monologue how emotions are problem but I wonder if he knew that would happened and a part of him (or the Hexcore) becked Jayce to do the shot so he finally could get rid of his heart and/or influence of the Hexcore for good.
Because in Viktor's mindscape Viktor behaved like he always did while in reality he is very emotionalless despite everything.
Also going back to the hive mind thing - their life energy was clearly connected to the Hexcore which was the reason why they all started dying when the Hexcore was destroyed.
Despite Jayce ruining everything according the fans, I don't think Viktor would have stayed alive much longer anyway with Ambessa and Singed near. I wonder if this was the best-case scenario so that they would not get the Hexcore in their hands or if Jayce basically did a self-fulfilling prophecy with this action.
#so many questions no answers#viktor#jayce talis#jayvik#not gonna tag it as analysis because I have no idea what exactly is going on#arcane spoilers#arcane#league of legends#lol
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"Well, I have a feeling they thought it'd be easy enough to just make me a figurehead and do what they want. Unfortunately for them, I plan to run the guard here the same way I did in Veloria. And one of the first tennats of the Velorian guard is accountability." It was one of the things most important to his father, and it had become especially important after seeing the state of Radiant Garden.
"...for instance, I'm holding myself accountable for ignoring the obvious signs that Cadenza wouldn't enjoy how she's treated without me there to intervene."
Somehow she got lucky he accepted her offer before and even this time around. Or maybe she didn’t come off as such a terrible person after all. “Seems you would be very difficult to corrupt then. Which is good. You may not have as much power as the government, but it’s enough to make any person get full of themselves.”
“So your sister can also be a way to keep you grounded huh? Certainly going to be like having a second job. I imagine things here might be quite the culture shock for her.”
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[9:53 pm]
the living room floor should have caution signs all around it with all the lego pieces spread on the floor. you’re building a first date gift, the orchid lego set, with your boyfriend. it’s been a while since said date, many more happening since then, but you held off on building it until the perfect moment where you were in a lego building mood. it’s even more perfect because you could invite him over to do it with you.
soft music plays in the background, but it isn’t even needed because the sound of lego pieces being sifted through and jeonghan’s subtle humming was enough to keep you calm. honestly, all you needed was for him to be there, and it didn’t matter if you had background noise or anything else.
after finishing the bag that held stems and leaves, you stopped jeonghan’s wrist from opening the next one. “wait.” you called out.
he looks up, an eyebrow raised. “what?”
“..do you think we could stop here? pick it up another day?” your hand falls back into your lap, fidgeting with the other.
“what, why? there’s only one bag left, why don’t we just finish it?”
you purse your lips together, trying to find the words. “it’s just.. this gift is so special. from a special day. and i feel like… when we finish it, that memory will be gone too.” your voice is barely above a mumble, feeling shy and almost silly for feeling such a way.
at your confession, jeonghan smiles, stepping over the nearly finished set before sitting next to you. he wraps an arm around your shoulder and presses a kiss to the crown of your head before speaking.
“baby, don’t be sad about such things. you should be looking at it in a good way. y’know how i see it?” he turns his head to look at you, smiling softly. that tender expression he gives only to you is what makes you feel this way. just like the process of building a lego set, moments like these could be fleeting. you hope they don’t, but that fear is what makes you so upset over it.
yours and jeonghan’s relationship may be fresh, but the way he looks at you and immediately knows what you need to hear is nothing if not a reminder that you’re meant to be.
“i see it as a sign of moving forward. remember when we got this? it was our first date, so long ago. and here we are, weeks later, finally finishing something of the past so we can move forward. together, okay?” he turns to face you fully, holding your cheeks in his hands before kissing your forehead. since you’ve met, it’s been a habit for him to do so, not without baby talking you of course.
“i’m not gonna go anywhere, love, i promise. moments like these may come and go, but who you’re with will always stay the same. i know you feel it too, like we’re stuck together.”
at the end of his speech, it’s nearly impossible to hide your tears. jeonghan’s always so silly and playful, but he’s so in tune with your thoughts. he always knows when to get serious, and he’s so good at it too. he knows all the right words, everything you need to hear. with your head now pulled into his chest, the tears flow freely and all you can think is how thankful you are for him. you can’t fully let go if that fear, but your hope that he’ll always stay is growing stronger.
jeonghan pulls you back from his chest, smiling once again as he kisses away the remnants of your tears. “now, shall we finish?”
#mejaemin#seventeen#svt#timestamp#yoon jeonghan#jeonghan svt#svt jeonghan#jeonghan fanfic#jeonghan x reader#jeonghan x you#seventeen x reader#svt x reader
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