#that's practically the only thing you CAN do with it; i suppose you can use it to get akechi's head out of his ass wrt not being unique

[keoriwnch]

( 🧸 ) — NOT SO: FAST, COWBOY — DEAN WINCHESTER

summary! ── After a grueling hunt, Dean convinces you to take a “quick” break at a roadside motel. What was supposed to be a brief pit stop turns into a day of lounging around, eating junk food, and avoiding the next case. Dean, ever the laid-back guy when he gets the chance, uses the opportunity to slow down and take a much-needed break from hunting. As the hours pass, you find yourself giving in to the comfort of doing absolutely nothing—aside from teasing Dean, of course. What was once a practical decision turns into a day of unexpected relaxation and stolen moments of peace amidst the chaos of life on the road.

notes! ─ Focuses on the quieter moments in Dean’s life, highlighting his need for a break from the endless hunting. The story will explore the playful, teasing dynamic between the reader and Dean. The chemistry between the reader and Dean will be more lighthearted and fun, without the pressure of saving the world. Can include moments of light-hearted banter, cuddling, and quiet bonding over simple pleasures like junk food and a movie marathon.

warnings! ─ Mild language and suggestive content (but no explicit scenes). Lighthearted teasing and playful romance. Some fluff and banter, but no heavy angst.

( 🧸 ) — WORD COUNT: 649

The Impala hummed softly as it cruised down the highway, the only light from the moon reflecting off the chrome as you both drove through the quiet night. After a long, exhausting hunt, the last thing Dean wanted was to jump straight into another one. But the next town was still a few hours away, and the exhaustion on his face was enough to make you agree when he suggested a stop.

A run-down motel with a flickering neon sign appeared ahead, and Dean pulled into the parking lot, his tired eyes glancing over to you.

“Quick stop,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “I need some sleep.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Sleep? You’ve been saying that all week.”

“Yeah, well, today’s different. I’m taking a break, whether the world likes it or not,” he grinned, half-heartedly as he parked the Impala. You knew better than to argue with Dean when he had his mind made up, so you followed him inside the motel, both of you barely even unpacking before flopping onto the bed.

Dean stretched out dramatically, groaning as his muscles protested. “I swear, hunting’s taking years off my life.”

You flopped beside him, propping your head on your hand. “You make it sound like you’ve been through a warzone.”

He looked over at you with a lazy smirk, his green eyes twinkling in the dim light. “Well, when you’re constantly fighting monsters and saving the world, it starts to feel that way.”

You chuckled, but the humor faded as you saw the exhaustion on his face. It wasn’t often you got to see him this vulnerable, and it made you soften. The tough exterior Dean carried with him every day was cracking now, revealing a man who was just… tired. Tired of the hunting, the constant moving, and the never-ending battle against the supernatural.

“We’re staying here, huh?” you asked, trying to shift the mood.

“Yeah, unless you’ve got some grand plans for a new hunt?” Dean’s tone was playful, but you could tell he wasn’t interested.

You stretched lazily and rolled over, pulling the covers up to your chin. “I think a nap sounds like the best idea right now.”

Dean gave a mock gasp. “A nap? That’s your big idea? How about some pizza and a movie marathon?”

“You’re really making this a vacation, huh?”

Dean shot you a half-smile, already digging around for his phone. “Why not? We’ve earned it. Plus, who needs sleep when you’ve got junk food and a classic John Wayne film marathon?”

A playful laugh escaped you. “Alright, fine, we can have our own little vacation. But if we’re doing this, you’re staying awake long enough to watch at least one movie.”

Dean flopped back onto the bed dramatically, sighing. “One movie. After that, I’m out.”

You shook your head, chuckling as he began ordering pizza, never one to miss an opportunity for food. As the evening passed, the two of you sank into the lazy routine you both needed. Dean finally let his guard down, relaxing enough to joke, tease, and even fall asleep halfway through a western.

When the pizza arrived, the two of you settled in front of the TV, food in hand, neither of you saying much. The quiet comfort of being together was enough. Dean had the rare opportunity to be just a man and not a hunter, and you relished in it—because, for once, you weren’t rushing to save anyone or fight monsters. You were simply enjoying the silence, with Dean’s soft snores in the background.

You glanced over at him, a small smile tugging at your lips. His exhaustion had turned into contentment, the weight of the world temporarily lifted off his shoulders. You couldn’t help but feel grateful for this small, quiet moment between the chaos.

And maybe, just maybe, this would become more than just a “quick stop.”

Thank you for reading! ─── I hope this story brought a little light and warmth to your day. If you enjoyed it, feel free to leave a note, reblog, or share your thoughts. Your feedback means the world to me and helps keep the magic of storytelling alive. Stay safe, be kind, and see you in the next tale. <3 - keori

[hvnishere]

the brain is not against you. ˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊

the sole purpose of the brain, in my eyes, is to keep the body alive. before knowing the law, we were living on autopilot—we let life happen to us because we didn't know about the law or shifting. we needed our brain to help guide us through life and we needed to cling onto patterns of the past to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. we were confided to the borders and regulations of how the brain works—to change ourselves we must heal, do shadow work, go to therapy and maybe then we can be better or simply just something different.

once you learn about the law and put it into practice, you realize that you don't need this anymore—you don't need the brain to help you navigate anymore because you've been the one holding the reins. anything you believe to be true becomes true. a glorious fact to discover, but what about the brain? what is it supposed to do now?

see the brain is like an overprotective parent whose kid (you) is going off to college and becoming an independent adult. the worrying never leaves and to the child it can feel overbearing—why do they worry so much when i know i have this? the thing is to the brain, much like those parents, you'll always be it's baby. it's essentially going through empty nest syndrome. that doesn't make the brain a bad thing, in fact, it just wants to help you out.

learn to coexist. it's not your enemy. if you view the brain as an entity working against you, you will always fight it. humanize it. let it freak out, it's all love. when you decide you're in your desired reality, it might get scared—of course it's freaking out, it's logical and manifesting/shifting isn't logical to it.

whenever the brain freaks out, pause and realize what's happening. it's just scared. you are not the brain and the brain is not you. this separation is scary to it but it doesn't have to be scary for you. tell the brain that it’s okay and remind yourself that you are not it. the thoughts it creates are there to protect you because you are stepping through a door that's unknown to it. the brain will never be aware of different realities because that's your job as you are pure consciousness. do not forget your job and your power. i cannot stress how important it is to identify fully with your power as consciousness, not the brain or body. it isn't necessary but it helps a lot—god wouldn't freak out so why are you?

remind yourself that you are the power and that the power is within you. contemplate this often until it sinks in fully. wake up and remind yourself that you are consciousness in a human body, not a human hoping to be heard by some outside source. remove your ego from the situation and see it as god, not a human. reclaim your rightful place and let the brain do it's thing. live with it, not against it. nurture and love it because it loves you, maybe more than you think.

if you only take one thing away from this post let it be this: you and the brain are two different entities and you’ve always had control—the only difference is now you know you do.

[mooniiify]

secretary | todoroki shoto x reader

word count: 1.6k cw: fem!reader, kids, speed quirk!reader notes: this is like reaaaaaly old but i used to love writing about todoroki and his son shuko (my oc basically lol) SO ig i'll rerealse this to the world lmao enjoy

Shoto picked up his suitcase, rushing towards the front door. He was running late to work and had not even a minute to spare. His hair was dishevelled, his necktie was messy and he hadn't buttoned his shirt properly, yet he was still trying to leave the house.

Y/n watched her husband run around the house, Shuko resting on her hip. She sighed, putting the three year old on the ground and approaching Shoto, putting her hands on his shoulders and stopping him.

He looked at his wife in confusion. ''Shoto, you're the owner of the agency, no one's going to say anything if you're late one time.''

Shoto stood speechless for a moment, processing his wife's words, before nodding. Y/n slid her hands down his and until she made it to his buttons and fixed them for him, before moving to his tie. The last thing to be fixed was his hair and then he was good to go.

''Thank you, my love,'' Shoto said and leaned down, pressing a grateful kiss to her lips.

''No problem, Sho,'' Y/n said.

''Mommy,'' she heard and looked down,  seeing her son making grabby hands at her. Y/n bent down and picked him up, propping him on her hip again. ''Bye, Daddy!'' Shuko waved at his father happily, a big smile adorning his chubby face.

Shoto smiled and pressed a kiss to his son's cheek before grabbed his case again, heading towards the door. ''Bye, Shuko. Goodbye, my love.''

Y/n's heart fluttered at Shoto's words, him calling her 'my love' was something that always made her melt on the inside. Once Shoto was gone, Y/n went and put Shuko in his baby chair, then opened the fridge to prepare him some breakfast.

Upon opening the fridge, though, she spotted her husband's dark blue bento box, the one she's told him three times not to forget. Y/n sighed, deciding she would go visit him for lunch and bring it to him. For now, she settled on feeding her child breakfast.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

''Do you want to go visit daddy, Shuko?'' Y/n asked when she picked him up from the ground and propped him on her hip. It was nearing noon, so Y/n wanted to leave for Shoto's agency soon.

''Yeah!'' Shuko exclaimed, happy upon the mention of his father. Y/n smiled and brought him to his room. She quickly changed his clothes, then went to change her own, and the two headed to the garage, Y/n not forgetting to take her husband's bento, along with lunch she'd prepared for herself and their child. She strapped him in his car seat and drove out of the garage, starting the short ride to the agency.

Y/n parked on her specific parking spot, right next to Shoto's. His car was there, too, so he must be in the building. He was supposed to do paperwork today anyway. She didn't take her badge, since she practically owned the agency as well - everyone knew her, so there shouldn't be an issue.

That proved to be wrong when she entered the building and started to head towads the elevators that would lead towards the offices, when she was stopped.

''Excuse me, Miss? With the child?'' a voice spoke and Y/n stopped, knowing she was probably the only one here with a child.

The secretary was new, Y/n noted as she walked over to the desk. Shoto had told her the woman that had been working as a secretary had taken a long holiday, since she had to take care of her sick husband, so this was supposed to be her substitute for the time being.

''How can I help you?'' Y/n asked as she propped Shuko on her hip.

''Where do you think you're going?'' the woman asked.

Y/n was taken aback. ''Where am I going? I'm going to my husband's office.''

''And who may your husband be?'' asked the secretary. Was she being serious?

''Shoto? Todoroki? The owner of the agency?'' Y/n said, as if it was obvious. Which it was.

''Then you wouldn't mind showing me your badge,'' the secretary said.

''I don't have it,'' Y/n said. ''I left it at home. Why do I need a badge to be able to come to my agency anyway?''

The secretary laughed humorlessly. ''Honey, at least four girls like you come in here every day, claiming the same thing.''

Y/n furrowed her eyebrows. ''You really are questioning me? I'm Sonic, wife of Shoto Todoroki, and you should be aware of that.''

''You look like a rip-off version of her, she looks way better than you,'' the secretary said. ''Anyway, I would advise you to leave before I call security.''

The mother stared at the secretary in disguist. ''You're very rude, you know that, right?''

''And you're a very bad liar,'' the secretary said, not batting an eyelash at her words.

''Mommy, when can we go see daddy?'' asked Shuko as he leaned on his mother's chest, already being impatient.

''Soon, sweetie, don't worry,'' Y/n reassured him, running a hand through his hair. She looked back at the secretary, giving her a fake smile. ''As nice as it was talking with you, I'll be heading up to see my husband now.''

''You're not going anywhere, you bitch!'' the secretary said as she leaned over the desk, grabbing onto Y/n's arm and preventing her from going any further. ''If you don't leave willingly, I'll have to call security.''

Y/n looked back at her, very tired from the whole exchange. On top of everything, that woman swore in front of her child. ''Alright, how about this, honey,'' she mocked. ''I'll call Shoto and he'll come to pick us up before firing you. How does that sound?''

The secretary scoffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest. ''As if that would happen, but sure. Go ahead, call him.''

Y/n took her phone out of her pocket in annoyance, dialing Shoto's number. The secretary was looking at Y/n the whole time, a smug look on her face, still believing Y/n was lying.

''Hello, my love. Is everything alright?''

''Hey, love,'' Y/n said, giving the secretary a nasty glare. ''Shuko and I came to the agency to bring you your lunch, since you forgot it, but the new secretary seems to not know who I am and refuses to let us go up. Would you mind coming down to pick us up? We're in the lobby.''

''Of course. I'll be down in a second,'' Shoto said and Y/n heard shuffling. ''I'm very sorry for the inconvenience, my love.''

''No worries, love. We'll be waiting for you,'' Y/n said.

''Come fast, daddy!'' Shuko said in the phone, having heard the exchange.

Shoto laughed. ''I will, I promise.''

The call ended and Y/n pocketed her phone, looking at the secretary. ''I wonder how long it would take for your husband to show up,liar. You're not giving a very good example to your child, are you?''

Y/n wasn't going to argue any further, knowing Shoto was about to come down any second and she would win the argument. While waiting for him, the secretary tapped her foot impatiently, whilst Y/n simply played with Shuko, trying to keep him entertained.

The secretary's face paled slightly as Shoto did actually walk out of the elevator. Y/n beamed upon noticing her husband, but she didn't move. She wanted to see the secretary's reaction.

''Hello, my love,'' Shoto said when he approached them, wrapping his arms around his wife and their son, planting kisses on each of their cheeks. Shuko made grabby hands to his father, who immediately took him in his arms, before looking between the two women. ''What seems to be the problem here?''

''Mr. Todoroki, I swear it's not-''

''Sorry, honey, but you've already fucked up,'' Y/n said after having covered Shuko's ears. ''You called me a bitch and a liar. I don't care you called me that, in all honesty, I care because you said it in front of my child. And I'm very worried that you've been just as rude to other people who've come here, which could taint the agency's reputation.''

''But-''

''No, don't but me,'' Y/n cut her off, not wanting to hear anything else the woman has said. ''You're fired.''

The woman looked at Shoto in shock. ''You can't fire me!''

''Actully, she can,'' Shoto stepped in. ''She's co-owner of the agency. Besides, even if she didn't have the authority, I would've fired you myself, Miss.''

The secretary's face became red in annoyance, looking between the two Todorokis. She huffed, knowing she'd fucked up. ''Fine,'' the secretary said and pointed at Y/n. ''I'll leave, but you don't know what you're loosing! I'm way better than you anyway.''

Y/n raised an eyebrow. ''You, a secretary, is better than a the number six hero, who's married to the number two hero? Yeah, I don't think so,'' the hero dismissed her. ''Now, if you'll excuse us.''

Shoto failed to keep his laugh in as his wife grabbed his hand and dragged him away. Shuko didn't really understand what was happening, but since his father was laughing, the little boy started giggling as well.

''Love, that was amazing,'' Shoto said as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer into him and pressing a kiss to her temple. ''It was also very hot.''

Y/n laughed. ''I wasn't about to let her talk me down,'' she said, rubbing Shuko's tummy as they walked, causing the little boy to laugh more. ''Next time someone needs to be hired, please do it yourself or call me to do it.''

thanks for reading!

[teaguehq]

Well, there's no doubt that Calgary is a beautiful city, though it was all the better being there with you, along with having you keep me warm the whole time. And you're going to make me blush calling me the sexiest date at your premieres! I still don't think I'm sexier than you though, personally. I'm so excited to see Fantastic Four, and honestly, it's just the truth that you're that hot! They chose right for the role and all. You have so much promo coming, although you know I'm excited to see Warfare as well. I'm so happy I can travel around with you too, love, especially when I'd rather do that than be away from you. It was a great idea to head back to Florida for a bit, and I know my parents were happy we were there for more than two seconds! Plus I had fun showing you all the places that were favorites of mine while I was growing up, and just around my neck of the woods in general. Now you know why I appreciate the outdoors so much when we practically lived neared a swamp. You're sweet for being understanding about my parents bombarding you with questions, and yeah, I suppose they couldn't help their curiosities since you're only the second person I've dated that introduced to them. It was so incredible meeting your family too, love, even though you know how nervous I was about that! I hope I've lived up tot he hype and they think I'm at least okay. I didn't have another vacation spot in mind at the moment, though I feel sort of like you should be dictating those given you're the busier one with so much coming up! I'd want to go somewhere you'd like. Well, I certainly know you want to be with me forever now, and it's so mutual since I don't want to ever let go of you. Well, seeing live music with you is becoming one of my favorite things, so it was really special getting to do that in Tampa while I was showing you around. Not to mention I love spending time in hot springs with you too, and it was the perfect last activity before I wrapped in Calgary. I'm so glad you liked all the plans for your birthday too, since naturally, I wanted it to be extra special and all. We're each other's, and that just makes it all the more sweet, right? I still can't believe you knit me so many incredible things, and you know I'm excited and already can't wait to see exactly what you have planned. And I'm always happy when I get to spend time with you, since it just makes the time extra special. It's adorable you've always wanted a cat, for the record! And I'm leaning towards saying you should get one just because you've always wanted one. We can see how one would get along with Bach, right? I'm starting to wonder how many secret entrances the Catacombs have since it always seems like they have a new one for us to explore every time we see them! But you know I'll always hold your hand and protect you no matter what haunted places that we visit. I'm excited about breaking in our places in New York too, especially since the weather's getting warmer and the city is gorgeous in the spring. And I'm always happy to show you all my favorite places in every city, honestly. I'll keep in mind that you like to dance too, especially since I do love dancing with you and all. I'm so glad you love cooking with me as much as I love that with you, and as fun as classes are, I second that it's a lot more fun cooking at home with you, and trying new recipes there. And we're doing well with making the recipes good too! We'll have to go back to the sanctuary sometime then, especially since Bentley liked you, and I'm quite sure the other animals did too! I'm laughing a little at your thinking you missed your calling as a zoo keeper, though you know what this means, that you'll just have to play one on screen to balance it!

Sorry, I'm always going to agree that you're the amazing one, because you are! Well, if making you happy lands me some good points with your family, I'm glad for that since I love making you happy. You're sweet telling them in advance that we've said I love you, which yeah, I'd want them to know I'm serious about you. I'm all for camping out on ranches more and around cattle since we had such a good time with it! Plus the cows were adorable, and no surprise at all they took to you so easily. I'm all for going to Turkey too, and would absolutely love that, in fact. I know we've traveled a little more than planned with fashion week, though I'm up for going there with you for some relaxation and all. That's another great thing about vacations too, no early call times and we can get out of bed whenever we'd like to. I know what you mean when promo is a beast in itself, though I can't lie that I'm so excited to see your films and know I'll be so proud of you, too. Of course it didn't scare me off, and if anything, I'm really happy you see a future with the two of us since I see the same thing with you. And I know I'm lucky that you love me, and that I love you and can tell you as often as I'd like. Which, I love you, in case that wasn't obvious. I would love for us to live together and get married when it feels right, too. I'm with you on getting a place in New York since we both like the city so much, and it's a great idea to keep your place in London for whenever we'd like to stay there. I love so much that you've thought about this in detail, too. It's safe to say I'd never run in the other direction hearing you say that you love me, especially since I love you so much. And it means the world to me that you're all in with me, plus same goes for you that I'd want to hear everything on your mind. I'll give you kisses as much as you'd like, especially since I happen to enjoy your kisses so much, too. I really loved the red theme for the Christmas decorations and still smile every time I think about it. So I wanted that photo album that we could both remember the occasion by! Not to mention you come up with the best surprises. I'm happy we had a good Valentine's Day together, and you're the best valentine a guy could have, hands down. You're doing well with your mandolin lessons so far, if that helps at all! So I know you'll be playing like a pro in no time at all. I can't help wearing the necklace since I love it so much, and it technically was the first time you told me that you love me, after all. Doing the cruise after your promo sounds perfect to me, love, and it'll be a nice way to relax after all the work, yeah? Well, it was my first New Year's kiss in Time's Square, and you're right, we're going to have plenty of New Year's kisses that are memorable. I'm still so happy you liked everything for your birthday, and well, I have to get on your level with the gifts since you're amazing at coming up with them! I'm so glad you loved your Valentine's gifts too, and I certainly loved mine so much! I'm going to wear that Fantastic Four shirt to the premiere, of course! Norway with you was a lot of fun, love, and I'm so glad we went, and also got to attend the Valentine's dance when it was so beautiful. You're making me blush again, but you know I'll always get romantic and dance with you, no question. And you looked gorgeous yourself! Well, I always want to take the best care of you, since that's exactly what you deserve. Plus I like to think it'll balance you being so busy, to make sure you're not burning yourself out. | @josephafq

i'm glad that i made calgary all the better for you, love, though you're right it truly is a beautiful city on it's own. and you know i was so very happy to be there with you -- and i really loved keeping each other warm, because you're right, it was rather cold. and i loved all the things that we did together, we had a lot of great dates and adventures! i'm glad to always have you on my arm during premieres, because i love having the sexiest date there, you know? and it means a lot that you always want to cheer my projects on! you're excited to see fantastic four? i love hearing that! now you're making me blush saying i looked so handsome in the trailer and really making me blush saying i'm already so hot that i can set a fire all on my own, you're so good for my ego, love. with warfare coming out in april, you're right about having promo coming up, then we'll jump right into promo for fantastic four probably! so i'm glad that you're not working for the moment and can travel around with me, since you know i miss you so much when you're not with me. since we've got a little more time off, do you want to go back to florida for a little while? we can spend time with your parents -- and maybe travel around florida for a little bit so i can see some tourist things! and i was happy to meet your parents, love, and i didn't mind all their questions, it's obvious they love you and want to make sure i'm good enough for you, which i can understand. plus, it feels good knowing i'm the second person you've ever brought home, and again, i understand why they were so curious. plus, it feels good knowing that they like me! though maybe before we go to florida we can go back to london for a little while so you can meet my family? because they've really been bugging me about meeting you. but i can't wait to be back in the warmth of florida if you want to go there for a little while -- though if you have another vacation spot in mind, i'm all ears. i'm glad that i don't have to worry about losing you, because you already know i want you to be with me forever, yeah? and it makes me feel good hearing you'd be just as long without me. good that i can have you in my arms as much as i'd like, since i always love having you in my arms. i hope you know it makes me happy that you love any of the dates i take you on, since i love all the dates you take me on too! i loved getting to see where you love to hang out while we were in tampa, and it was fun getting to listen to some live music as well, since i know you really love seeing live music. it was great getting to spend time in the hot springs before your filming ended, love, and i always have the best time with you there too. don't mind me grinning hearing that you can't ever get enough of me! i'm still in awe of everything you did for my birthday, i'll just have you know that, but everything you planned was so amazing and also perfect for a post-filming celebration! and you're right about having a hot tub handy, since i love using hot tubs with you! it makes me smile just as much knowing that i'm all yours, love, and i love you being mine. i'm glad you'll never get sick of knitted items, because i might be starting to work on my largest project for you yet! i'm glad we don't have to miss each other for a little while, i'm glad we're together right now.

yeah, i've just been worried that bach is lonely and needs someone to play with more, you know? i'm not sure i want another dog as big as bach since he's a beast -- but i also thought about a cat for a little while, but i don't know how they'd get along! i've just always wanted a cat. we'll have to make plans with jamie and anya then to visit the catacomb entrances, and thank you for always protecting me, love, you're the best boyfriend a guy can ask for! i love that i make you blush so often, and you always look so sexy when you do! just like you're making me blush calling me the sexiest, even though i still say that's you. i'm glad that we've had so much fun so far in both of our places in new york, love, and i look forward to breaking them in more when we can, of course! and i love hearing that you're happy being where i am, love, since that means so much to me. i love the idea of you showing me all your favorite places, love, especially the ones where we can dance -- since i love to dance with you! i do love cooking with you a whole lot, and the cooking classes are so much fun with you! but i also really just love cooking at once of our places too, especially when we're trying new things because it's always an adventure. plus, so far everything we've cooked together has been rather tasty! it's safe to say that i liked bentley too, he has such a fun personality! and you know i was happy to give a donation, and would gladly do so again. plus, i loved getting to help feed the other animals that was so cool and i would love to do that again as well. i swear, i was meant to work in a zoo, i just became an actor instead! i'm glad you think my heart is so kind, my love, and it still feels good to know your parents like me, and are happy that they've met me. plus, i love that you talk about me so much, since i talk about you a whole lot too. i can't help but say you're the amazing one when that's clearly the case! i really do think my family will like you -- plus, the fact that you make me as happy as you do will make them like you even more! and i've told them that i told you that i love you, so they know it's serious, which means they're even more excited to meet you. i think we should camp more where i can be around cattle and be on a ranch. what do you think? and i love the idea of cows being giant puppies around me, because they did want my affections, and i couldn't help but cuddle with them. i was thinking we could go to turkey before i have to start doing a lot of promo, what do you think? maybe after we visit florida again, if you're up for that?

i'm glad that i get to wake you up in my favorite way as much as i like, and i especially love that we can stay in bed after because we don't have an early call time. i'm looking forward to promo, but also not looking forward to promo because we won't get to sleep in as much as i like! i'm glad i didn't scare you off at all, owen, because i know sometimes the future can be a scary thought when it comes to relationships, but i so want a future with you. you make my heart race every time you tell me you love me, i hope you know that. and i feel incredibly lucky for you loving me too, so damn lucky. plus, just hearing you say that you'd like us to live together and get married when the timing feels right, that makes me very happy. honestly, i would be happy to have a place together with you in new york, because new york is special to us. and we could just keep my place in london, you know? as you can see i've thought about this! i love you too, owen, and it feels good being able to say it without worrying you're going to run in the other direction. no, because i'm just so all in with you, you know? so anything you have on your mind -- i'd want to hear it. oh, i can understand that when saying i love you was pretty scary for me too. i'm glad you want forever with me, and it makes me smile that it makes your heart race, my love, and i really do want the same thing. i could use some more kisses right now, just saying. i'm still smiling at the way you showed me just how much you loved the red theme for the christmas decorations, and i can't help but smile every time i look at that photo album. i always want to do things to surprise you, though, it makes me so happy. and i'm glad we had such good holidays recently, because valentine's day was pretty amazing with you too. and forever thankful that you're my valentine. i hope that i end up playing the mandolin beautifully since you love that instrument so much, and i want to impress you! so yes, let's start lessons soon. i love seeing you wear that necklace, by the way, it makes me smile. and i figured maybe we could do the cruise after all the promo, as a way to celebrate, what do you think? i'm glad you liked our new years kiss so much, since it was one of my favorite kisses with you! but you're right, all our new years kisses will be memorable. love, i loved the cabin you rented for my birthday, and i loved my birthday gifts so much. you know me so well, and you buy the best gifts. i also loved what you got me for valentine's too, and again, i'm so happy you're my valentine. plus, i loved the valentine dance with you in norway. i loved getting romantic with you and getting to dance with you. plus, you looked gorgeous. and i love hearing that i'm stuck with you, safe to say, and i love the idea of you taking care of me while having to work. you're so amazing and take the best care of me. || @teaguehq

[call-me-mother-darling]

Between The Water and I

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Authors Note: Good morning lovely, I come baring gifts. Hopefully this is up to your standards. Remember feedback is always appreciated! I wanted to make this longer but I couldn't find a way with out veering from the story line.

Plot: Natasha has always been your kryptonite. One night it becomes too much.

Warning: Talks of suicide, death, angst, love confessions, bridges, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, dismemberment, attempted suicide

Let me know if I missed anything!

Word Count: 1796

Tonight was supposed to be the night I confessed my feelings to Natasha. We have been stuck in this just friends stage for awhile. She’d always look at me differently than the others but I couldn't tell if it was good or not. I have a hard time knowing if it’s friend love or relationship love so there's no way in hell I can tell by her facial expressions. Although I thought I saw her eyes light up when she saw me. But maybe I’m just overthinking this. Tony had told me to just enjoy this after party but how can I do that when it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. 

My eyes scan the room praying to get Wanda’s attention but I only see Natasha. As soon as my eye lands on her she has my full attention, even if hers is elsewhere. Her eyes sparkle with joy. The same sparkle I thought she looked at me with. A look of longing. She was with her friend of 10 years, Bruce. She always looked at him like he was the only thing in the world. You’d be dumb not to know she loves him more than a friend. But there was still this small piece of hope in my heart that maybe just maybe I'd be the one to get the girl.

My chest feels like it's about to cave in. The tears threaten to roll down my cheeks. Practically burning my irises. I have been in love with Natasha for as long as I can remember. Even when I made it big she never batted an eye at me. I tried to improve just so she could be proud of me. But the praise never came. I just wanted her to see me.

I feel like I'm suffocating. My necklace is too tight, my dress is too tight, my feet hurt, I need to leave. I can’t do this, it hurts too much. I claw at my necklace stumbling to the bathroom. I practically fall through the door straight to the sinks. Maybe cold water will help. I stand at the sink trying to get the tears to stop, my nails attempting to dig into the sink. As I reach for the faucet a gentle hand lays on my shoulder.

“Y/n? Hey, hey I’m here” Wanda says sweetly guiding me into her arms. 

“Why can’t it be me Wanda” I sob.

Wanda hums a soft melody and rubs my back trying to get me to calm down.

I sob so hard. I start to hyperventilate. 

No. 

I can’t breathe.

“Wanda help me, Please. I can’t breathe.” I wheeze out.

A look of panic takes over her face as she leads us to the ground, putting my hand right on her sternum. She takes deep breaths while her fingers massage the back of my neck lightly.

The body will subconsciously follow the breathing pattern of the one you’re with while in high panic and anxiety inducing situations.

“Love you’re on earth, you are loved, I'm right here.” Wanda comforts me.

Being able to teleport myself sometimes causes me to panic. A few times I have unknowingly teleported back to my planet when I am having a breakdown. That’s what my power is. I can teleport pretty much anywhere in the world. But when my emotions are too chaotic I go back to the place that caused me the most pain, where I was tortured. This place is my planet, it is full of death and destruction. It is not something I want to go back to.

“Can you take me to my room?” I hesitantly ask, not wanting to further ruin her night.

“My legs are too shaky there's no way I could make it up there by myself” I over share. There's no use in trying to pretend I'm okay around her. She’s my best friend and can read minds. She practically already knew what I was going to say. So she takes me to my room, staying to help me calm down and fall asleep and then she leaves to join the party again. Leaving a little note that wrote

Hey love, I’m back at the party but I left my ringer on. If you need anything and I mean ANYTHING just text me and I will be right there.  Love, Your bestie, Wanda

A small chuckle comes from my lips. She's so dorky. 

A few hours ago I sat at an award ceremony earning an award and now I sit in the darkness of my room. All I can think about is how happy she looked. My heart felt heavy even if I was happy for her. She deserves to be happy. But what about me? Why can’t I be happy? Why can’t someone love me for who I am? Not even somebody why can't she love me?

It’s now 3am and I can’t stop my breakdown. My chest heaves and my tears feel hot. Panic sets over my heart and I rip my door open, basically running outside. The rain drums into my body. The heavy rainfall pounds into the ground making it almost deafening to hear myself think.

I need to get out.

I need to get out, now. 

I pull my hood over my head, hiding my face. How the paparazzi didn’t see me, I have no idea. But I let my feet carry my numb body down the street as my vision blurs. Until the pain in my legs is almost unbearable. I raise my head to realize I ended up at the spot I promised Wanda and Nat I'd never go alone to. The bridge I jumped off of a few years back. 

October 21st 2020 is when I last attempted. I had stood on this ledge for thirty minutes just praying to my gods that someone would call and talk me out of it. Selfish on my part but I just wanted someone to see me, to hear me. I had set my phone on the ledge and took the step forward regretting it almost immediately. I tried to step back. I fucking tried but it was too late. My body hit the water hard. The water was as cold as  ice and shallow. My knee had hit a big sharp rock upon impact tearing my right leg apart. I blacked out. I floated to the shore and my calf was never to be seen again.

That’s where Wanda found me. I was unconscious and barely breathing. She took me back to Avengers tower. They had to do an eight hour surgery to repair what's left of  my leg. But I have this really cool prosthetic now. Sometimes my leg gets sore so I have to stay in. Tonight was one of those nights but I couldn’t handle being inside any longer so I took the risk and went for a walk to the bridge. 

Before my brain can even catch up I hoist myself up and sit on the ledge. It was about three feet wide and made out of a strong stone. I wasn’t there to jump, I just needed to get some fresh air and enjoy the night sky. Even if this was where I last attempted. I almost find comfort in the fact that it didn’t work. But what is comfort without love? I have friends to live for, maybe even the chance that Natasha would fall in love with me the way I love her. But what if it doesn’t? How do I move on when the one I want doesn’t love me back?

“Hey you okay, little dove?” I furrow my eyebrows and look at the person who pulled me out of my thoughts. 

It was her. The person I was so in love with. The person I longed for so deeply, so intensely. With hair glued to her face and a light shiver running through her. 

I look down at the river below. I wondered how it would feel to have the cold water surround my body.

“You don’t have to be here. I’m not going to jump, I know they sent you out here to stop me but I’m not going to do it.” I nervously explained. She doesn’t answer and walks behind me to wrap her arms around my waist making me melt into her embrace. 

“Little dove?” I finally questioned her. She’s never called me that before.

She smiles and I can feel her nod against me.

“It matches you.” She said.

“How so?” I tilt my head to the side in question.

“If you get down I will tell you.” She stepped away and offered her hand. I took it and slowly slid into her arms feeling a weight lift off my shoulders. Her hugs always did that. She pulled me tight against her body and rubbed my back. My fingers grip the back of her jacket and I cry into her neck.

“Doves are beautiful and so pure. Much like you, everything they do means something and you do the same thing. You pick missions that help show your pain. It lets you scream and get out all your frustration. It lets you pretend to be a different kind of hero. To be another person. But I see you. You are an amazing person, my love” She said, her voice being light and sweet. 

I quickly pull back and stare at her. 

“You don’t mean that.” I say.

“Yes my love, I do. I know I’m bad at showing my feelings because of the Red Room but you are always someone I have looked up to. I almost envy your ability to feel so deeply. I love everything about you and that scares me to death. But you are the one I’ve always wanted.” She says as I feel my eyes start to tear up. 

She continues “ I want you, I’m so sorry if my actions show otherwise. I know life is devastating but selfishly please don’t ever try and take your life. I need you here. Wanda needs you here. We all do. You're our family.” She practically begs me.

I throw myself further into her arms sobbing into her neck.

“Doves also means love and I love you” she said.

Another sob escaped my lips and I hugged her tighter.

“I love you” I cry.

She holds me tight. As if her arms will protect me from the outside world.

Alas I’m home.

“Now let's go back to the tower, it’s freezing out here.” She chuckles softly.

I can’t help but follow her actions and chuckle with her.

Maybe I will get my happy ending.

Maybe my secret will stay between the water and I.

[annalacerda17]

Fandom in general is too quick to label characters as having a Savior Complex or being Self-Sacrificing without taking into account the context surrounding the characters actions. This bothers me because those labels are often used to accuse characters of being reckless and thoughtless or depressive and suicidal as if those were the only possible motivations for a character to take a risk for other.

In the MDZS fandom I've seen those labels being applied to Wei Wuxian - incorrectly - in order to diminish the weight of his choices.

Wei Wuxian wasn't Self-Sacrificing. Not anymore that his job required him to be. He wasn't someone who went around in search of a heroic death. But as a Cultivator it was his responsibility to protect people - we can compare a Cultivator to a firefighter: saving people is part of their job, and that comes with a risk, but nobody thinks firefighters are just recklessly throwing themselves at danger for nothing, or that they are stupid for not ignoring that burning building.

Cultivators are supposed to protect people from the supernatural and that's a risky job. But Wei Wuxian isn't reckless. He's actually quite thoughtful and very strategic in his approach to any adversary. He's also an excellent teacher because of his patience and analytical skills - he's the opposite of reckless, really.

One of the plot points I see people use to accuse him of being reckless and self-sacrificing is the XuanWu cave debacle. The thing is, Wei Wuxian wasn't being reckless then. He bid his time, waited to see what Wen Chao would do first. He defended MianMian not out of some sort of self-sacrificing reaction, but because his morals compelled him to do so, and he wasn't the only one. Remember, a Cultivator is supposed to follow a strict moral code. When an innocent person, MianMian, was being attacked in front of them they were supposed to help her. For those who didn't, it was a moral failing.

But more than that, Wen Chao's plan to summon the XuanWu of Slaughter was utterly stupid and was bound to get them all killed. Wen Chao was absolutely not competent enough to kill the XuanWu of Slaughter himself, and when the situation inevitably got out of control Wen Chao's cronies would still whisk him away to safety and let the hostages there to die. Wei Wuxian's choice to confront Wen Chao then wasn't reckless, it was borne from a lack of better options and knowing if they didn't make a stand then and there they would all die. It's one of those situations in which none of the options available are ideal, and you just have to choose the least worse option. Between dying without resisting and fighting for a small chance of survival, Wei Wuxian chose to fight because he wasn't stupid or suicidal, and unlike the vast majority of people in the Cultivation World, Wei Wuxian actually lived up to the moral ideal.

Another plot point I see brought up again and again against Wei Wuxian is his use of "demonic cultivation". First off, the cultivation path Wei Wuxian invented and used wasn't demonic, it was the ghost path, and that's different. Demonic cultivation implicates the use of living humans and Wei Wuxian didn't do that. He used the resentment of ghosts, and he was repeatedly shown to be very kind and compassionate toward those ghosts, but he never used humans. The only character in MDZS that practiced demonic cultivation was Xue Yang, who created living corpses.

Moreover, Wei Wuxian didn't just choose to go for a walk in the burial mounds, he was thrown there to die by Wen Chao. He invented the ghost path because of necessity and it's a testament to his strong will to survive. Personally, I've never understood people who think Wei Wuxian creating the ghost path was self destructive. Dying is easy. If he had been self-destructive, he wouldn't have made it out of the burial mounds alive. Wei Wuxian was kind and compassionate and a genius and he had a strong will to live, so he created a new path of cultivation that could get him out alive and that would allow him to keep fighting, because it was war and they were losing, and if the Wens won it would be catastrophic for the world.

After the war, Wei Wuxian chose to stand up for the Wen Remnants, and that choice wasn't reckless, it wasn't self-sacrificing and it wasn't self-destructive. The Wen Remnants represent the great moral debate in the story: what was happening to them was genocide, and doing nothing meant being complicit in it. The persecution and extermination of the Wen Remnants was the culmination of the moral corruption of that society.

Wei Wuxian's choice to stand up for the Wen Remnants wasn't reckless. He understood the consequences and made a choice with a clear head. He knew from the beginning that they were all living on borrowed time. He certainly hoped at some points that maybe some sort of more permanent truce could be worked out with the sects, but he was always aware that the chances of that were slim. His choice to protect the Wen Remnants wasn't borne out of some sort of self-sacrificing ideal either. He didn't want to die and sacrificing his life was never his go-to response to any situation. He died after having tried everything else, after being pushed into a dead end by the entire world and resisting for around two years, which is two years more than most people would be able to resist for.

His choice to protect the Wen Remnants was a matter of morality. Wei Wuxian saw a genocide happening in front of him and his conscience wouldn't allow him to walk away. That's what Wei Wuxian means when he says to Lan Wangji, during Lan Wangji's visit to Yiling:

“But, let the self judge the right and the wrong, let others decide to praise or to blame, let gains and losses remain uncommented on. I, too, know what I should and shouldn’t do.”

Wei Wuxian chose to protect the Wens because while that might cost his life, choosing otherwise would cost him everything he was as a person.

MDZS is a story about society's failings and the extermination of the Wen Remnants is the great symbol of societal corruption: they fought a war to defeat a monster, only to turn around and become the next monsters themselves. In this sense, only the outliers of society could retain their pure hearts - Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji (who was in equal parts praised and superficially respected for his morals, as well as considered too rigid for it - Lan Wangji is respected as a member of the aristocracy and as an ideal role model, but when the same morals he's praised for get in the way of sect interests he's criticized for it), there's MianMian, Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan, a-Qing too, despite her not being a cultivator. All of those highly ideal characters exist apart from society.

Yet another plot point that's often wrongly used to paint Wei Wuxian as reckless is the ambush on Qiongqi pass, where Jin Zixuan died. The thing is, it was an ambush. He didn't have a chance to plan for it. Jin Zixun had 300 archers constantly attacking Wei Wuxian. It's already quite commendable that he was able to survive, asking for great planning in this kind of situation in ridiculous and beyond what's humanly achievable.

Moreover, despite all that, Wei Wuxian still had the presence of mind to explain the situation to Jin Zixuan and warn him not to get close or else he might die. And what did Jin Zixuan do? He asked the guy being attacked to stop defending himself instead of forcing his stupid cousin to stop attacking, then proceeded to ignore Wei Wuxian's warning and got close, then died as he'd been warned would happen. In this situation, Jin Zixuan was the one who showed an appalling lack of awareness of the situation, poor tactical skill, lack of leadership skills, poor diplomacy, and reckless behavior, not Wei Wuxian.

As for the battle of Nightless City, it was an extenuating circumstance, because Wei Wuxian wasn't sound of mind at this point. He was grieving and angry and had been targeted repeatedly for over two years by then, he'd been a victim of systemic oppression and had watched friends die. Not to mention that all of it started almost immediately after a three year long war in which he'd been a frontline soldier. He wasn't alright. And yet, he wasn't the one who started the fight. He showed up there and vented verbally at the people who'd just murdered his friends, the people responsible for s genocide, the people who'd been oppressing them for over two years, and yet Wei Wuxian only used violence after being attacked first. At this point, I think he had the right to respond with full power.

But the point here is that Wei Wuxian was pushed to this place step by step. He did everything right, he chose as best as he could, but society just wouldn't give him any other option.

I guess my point with this rant is to show that labels like self-sacrificing, reckless etc. often dismiss the context in which the characters are making their choices. Sometimes there isn't an option in which everyone gets to be safe and happy, and sometimes every single choice available will pose a great risk to life, sometimes every available option the circumstances afford the characters will end with someone they care about dying. And yet, they have to choose anyway, because the world won't stop until the stars align and all the problems disappear. No matter how fucked up the circumstances are, choices still have to be made, even if it hurts.

[luka-labrathor]

Dear jayvik ff writers,

I love you but please, I'm begging you, learn the difference between nominative and vocative in the language Viktor is supposed to be native in. Cause if the language is Czech, no matter how many Czechs you've talked to to make his lines right, you'll make mistakes.

So far I haven't read any English fic that used nominative for Viktor's nicknames. And I've read a lot of them. So here's a quick guide:

Nominative is what someone/thing is called. Vocative is what you call someone/thing.

English, Spanish, German, French and many more don't use vocative. Latin, Greek, Polish (wołacz), Czech, Ukrainian etc. do use it.

Nominative is used when you talk about someone/thing (you use it only as the subject in sentences but that's an unimportant detail rn). Vocative is for talking to someone/thing.

In practice: Let's say Viktor calls Jayce "lásko" (love). The correct use looks like this:

"I think you stink, lásko (voc)," said Viktor. His láska (nom) stank.

– "But why even bother? My Viktor doesn't actually speak Czech, he just uses one or two words as pet names! It's not like the people around him know what he's saying! They would probably get confused if they heard him suddenly change the final suffix."

Sure, it makes sense that Viktor would probably not insist on using Czech grammatical cases correctly while communicating in English. But there are 2 possible situations your Viktor could be in:

A) The Canon Adjacent Approach: Viktor is an immigrant or lives in a Czech enclave. He learnt Czech from his core family but actually studied in the majority language of Zaun/Piltover/USA. People like this sometimes lose their accent in the majority language but we know it's not his case because we can hear his Russian accent in the game and his Czech-ish-RAF-pilot-ish accent in the series. He knows Czech but he probably never used it to write an essay.

B) The International Student Approach: Viktor is an exchange student or he moved to Piltover/USA after graduating a Czech highschool. He knows Czech very well. He wrote a lot of essays in Czech.

The A-Viktor might have an excuse for using Czech words incorrectly or not really minding the misuse of vocative (for ex. like here: "This is my lásko," said Viktor). He knows that English speakers don't understand the difference between nom. and voc. so he uses a vocative form of his nicknames as if they were English words (pl. láskos, poss. lásko's). This usage would probably make a B-Viktor's ears bleed.

B-Viktor doesn't have to think about it when he uses a Czech word. He just uses whatever he'd use in Czech (and maybe if he'd need an other case than nominative or vocative he'd just use nominative cause that's the "default" case in dictionaries). I'm still kinda split on whether he wouldn't actually use only nominative when talking to/about people cause again, it's the "default" case and he would avoid people treating a voc. form like a nom. one. But if he actually tried and at one point explained to his close ones that "láska" is actually the word he's using, just in the vocative form (or just sent them this post, some jayvik fics can be very meta-fictional), he could be using voc. and nom. (lásko and láska) more or less as he'd use it in Czech.

Apart from that, if your POV is Viktor's, you need to use Czech correctly in your indirect speech or I'll come to your house with torches and pitchforks. If Viktor is thinking Jayce was my [Czech pet name], my dearest [Czech pet name], you need to use nominative for the pet name no matter what. One exception is if your Viktor actually doesn't know any Czech and only cosplays as a Czech person cause he loves our stinky cheese from Loštice. Then and only then I can accept him using nominative and vocative indistinguishably.

S láskou,

Your čtenář

P. S.: Use whatever words you want, like, your fic will read like 10 Czech people in all it's eternal lifetime on ao3 so don't overthink it. I'm overthinking it cause I don't have a life separate from jayvik.

[ilikekidsshows]

Oh god, I just had a horrible thought: if the writers didn’t actually intend to give Marinette anxiety as you said, what if this is just how they think normal teenage girls act like when they’re in love? 🤢 Bc Marinette’s “anxiety” has always been most prevalent when it comes to Adrien, or as a result of situations which could easily induce anxiety in NT folks as well.

---

I don't think I've discussed this before, but, that fear of yours is something I’ve been thinking about as well. It’s not like the writers are having every teenage girl in the show act like Marinette does, so clearly they grasp that different people react differently. But, we also have to consider that only Marinette is really treated as a fictional person by the narrative, the only character that feels real to the writers. Her emotions are the most important in any situation. What anyone else has going on is only important in how it’s going to affect Marinette. Marinette is fully justified in doing things that would get other characters shipped to another country by their abuser because she’s having feelings.

In a show with this many female characters in positions of power and with this much talk about how great girls are, we really shouldn’t be running into the Smurfette phenomenon, where one girl is representing girlkind as a whole, but it’s somehow still true a lot of the time. Like, Alya is the second most prominent character in the show, period, now, and yet we don’t know how she feels about getting manipulated into being the backup Guardian. Alya seems totally blasé about Marinette piling more and more responsibilities onto her. Compare this to when we practically got an entire season about how stressed out Marinette was with her responsibilities and how everyone should bend over to make things easier for her.

Bringing back that point about this show talking about how great girls are; it never actually delivers on that. Marinette is possibly one of the biggest losers I’ve ever seen as a superhero. The best she could manage against her nemesis, no matter what resources she had at her disposal, was an eternal stalemate, she surrendered to that same nemesis and got the world destroyed and finally she had the gall to lie to everyone about her failure so that she can be praised for stopping Hawkmoth when that’s not what she did in any shape or form. And the writers expect us to agree with the assessment of her being a super awesome superhero. I don’t think even the Watchmen would let her join their ranks and their entire thing is to be failures as heroes.

They constantly pay lip service to the idea that girls are amazing and talented and competent, but their actual results are pretty bad. Like, they made a big deal of how the girls always beat the boys at sports in ‘Penalteam’, but are we ever actually shown the girls being good at sports? Because I can’t recall a time that’s happened. The writers can talk the talk by having characters say things that sound empowering, but they can't walk the walk by actually committing to showing the girls doing cool things.

So, yeah, the writers may treat Marinette as the greatest superhero ever whose mistakes are just little oopsies that can be forgiven by her feeling really bad for a few minutes, but that doesn’t mean that she actually is depicted as strong and competent in any way. It’s ironically the same thing the writers are having Marinette do towards Adrien; woobification to the target’s detriment. Marinette’s coddling of Adrien is infantilizing to the degree she is actually dehumanizing him. Similarly, Marinette is presented so much as such a poor, precious baby that needs comfort and understanding that she gets infantilized to the degree where the part where she’s supposed to be a competent, powerful superhero is just another vehicle to woobify her when she's never managed to win in a season premiere or finale without Cat Noir there to give her a little pep talk first.

The need to treat Marinette as the primary target of audience sympathy turns her into a really sexist depiction of a teenage girl as someone who fails without a boy there to hold her hand, completely lacking in any kind of emotional regulation and too easily overwhelmed by her need for romance to bother with things like being considerate. This all is meant to make Marinette sympathetic, because she’s constantly suffering under her overwhelming emotions, but these are actual, real-life stereotypes about teenage girls.

Even the romance is actually really sexist. We get the whole "girls resent each other over guys" trope with Marinette instantly being suspicious of any girl she thinks is interested in Adrien. In addition, Marinette's feelings for Adrien are her primary motivation when her need for control isn't informing her actions, leaning into the sterotype that girls only care about romance.

[discordiansamba]

rotating some more thoughts about the aoex vampire au:

rin feels so betrayed when he finds out the artificial blood is supposed to taste good actually, and it just doesn't for him because he's directly descended from the original vampire. come on!

nothing quite fractures a tentative friendship like watching your dhampir classmate duke it out with one of the baal, who calls rin his brother. amaimon still breaks up the camping trip.

just as the exwires were warming up to rin, they find out he's the son of the original vampire, Satan- and that he's just as blood dependent as a regular vampire, in spite of only being half.

things are, needless to say, deeply awkward between them as they head to kyoto. which is also the first time they've seen rin off campus, and abruptly realize that outside of mephisto's barrier sunlight hurts him.

rin's not exactly expecting a warm welcome in kyoto, but he mostly just winds up getting the cold shoulder since they're so focused on the impure king problem.

(rin also has to haul an entire cooler of artificial blood with him, lmao. at least for all of his scheming, mephisto ensures he never runs out.)

shiro and tatsuma still become friends, so tatsuma already knows who and what rin is when he arrives in kyoto. he's the first friendly face rin talks to there, so he instantly likes the monk.

rin's regenerative abilities are much more limited on a diet of purely artificial blood. drinking human blood really accelerates his healing process, though. it also allows him full access to his flames.

or: in order to defeat the impure king and save everyone, rin needs to use his flames. in order to do that, he needs human blood. but to do that, he has to go back on his vow to the Vatican. which means they'll execute him once this is all over.

rin does it anyways.

suguro offers, which is what really catches rin off guard. huh? I thought you guys were creeped out by me?

suguro: i wasn't creeped out, stupid. i was just pissed you thought I would judge you for it when i already knew you were a dhampir.

friendship successfully reestablished!

(rin passes out after defeating the impure king. the sun is coming up. he's wearing his pajamas and a camo poncho. shura sighs and pulls up his hood and carries him down the mountain on her back, so he has as little skin exposed as possible.)

touring kyoto with your dhampir bestie! rin's not about to let a minor issue like it being a bright, sunny summer day get in the way of spending time with his friends.

suguro: you say you want to take a photo, but will even show up in it?

rin: huh!? of course I will!

local dhampir at the beach, wearing a full body wetsuit, a hoodie, and sunglasses, sulking under a beach umbrella. it's okay. he can have his chance to play once the sun goes down.

(or: the exwires find out that rin has wings)

(izumo doesn't think they're cute. not at all!)

the Vatican ultimately does not execute rin, which is something the exwires didn't even know was on the table.

rin gradually becoming more comfortable around his friends! being more open about eating around them. they grow more comfortable around rin too, offering him blood when he needs it. they trust him.

(godaiin inadvertently befriending a dhampir.)

rin going to shimane is so funny. his checked luggage filled with artificial blood packs. at least he was able to save up and buy one of those cooler bags. much more practical!

[starryoak]

Making memes out of my headcanons, part 3, swinging bats at hornets nests edition!

[bugdogg]

im teetering on the edge of something or another, feels like a breakdown but its more so falling back on old unhealthy habits that feel comforting to do but ultimately don't help me in the long run

anyway im coping somehow by comparing myself to dogs and going "haha im young, i got a ways to go before my evil villain arc"

[tearlessrain]

please help me- i used to be pretty smart but i’m having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!

gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.

SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:

diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.

non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.

the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.

now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.

if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.

if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematic™ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.

this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.

it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.

but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.

[inbabylontheywept]

she was dead silent on the drive home, but that was okay. sometimes, after band practice, she was just out of words. it was a short drive to her house. the only part where it actually felt weird was after i pulled up her parent’s driveway. 

after that, the silence stretched so far it smeared and left a weird residue. she kept looking at the car door like she wanted to leave, so i looked at the door too, then she looked at me, and i looked at her, and my first thought was that she was going to tell me that the door was stuck. i was used to that car always doing some damn thing. it was the car me and all my siblings had learned to drive in, and it was really beat to hell. there were dents all over the body, which we’d unsuccessfully tried fixing up with spackle. it had looked nice for maybe a week, but then the sun wrecked it - the spackle cracked up like the mud on the bottom of a dry riverbed and turned a sort of off yellow-white that made the car looked like it had been molded out of chicken shit. it also had a bullet hole it through the cabin that whistled like a toothless old man whenever the car went above 40, so loud it could drown out the radio, and a cabin that smelled so strongly of bugspray that even the arizona summer we drove everywhere we could with the windows down.

(if you have kids one day, you will maybe, possibly, begin to understand how much i loved that car.)

anyway, i was thinking about what else could possibly be wrong with the chickenshitmobile, and she just kept looking at me, and then i wondered if there was something on my face, and she just kept looking at me, and then the penny dropped and i realized she was trying to work up the nerve to break up with me. 

now, i’d seen her work up the nerve to do things like this before – it could take quite a while. and knowing it was about to happen made the waiting immediately unbearable. 

so i said hey. 

and she looked at me, very startled, and said hey back real small. like she’d been caught. and in a way, i suppose she had. 

and i said it’s okay. you can just say it. i’ll be okay.

i’m always okay. 

and she said: i’m really sorry. 

i loved her, you know? it was highschool, but teenagers are capable of love. the way people love changes over time just as much as the way they stand, or the way they talk, but things don’t stop existing just because they're different. opposite really – a thing only stops changing when it's fully gone.

and i said, nothing to be sorry for, and i meant it. she looked a little relived, and i was happy to give her that peace. then she left. i watched her make it through the front door, because that was just habit at that point, and then i sat there a while afterwards, checking how i felt. and the answer was not good, but good enough to make it home. good enough to limp on. 

so i put my car in reverse, took my last look goodbye, and immediately backed into her neighbor’s car. 

crunch. 

air bags didn't go off, which was good. i left a decent dent in the bumper of the other car. genuinely couldn’t tell if i did anything to my car – anything wrong with it just kind of blended together into the general ecosystem of hand mottled, sun cracked, chickenshit spackle. 

i checked my glove box, and my car insurance info was, of course, out of date. my phone was dead too. as a teenager, my phone was less my lifeline to my friends, and more my tether to my parents, so i wasn’t particularly conscious of keeping it charged. both my fault.

i sat there a few minutes, trying to think of the best way to handle things, and there was only one answer i could think of, and i hated that answer, so i spent a few more minutes trying and failing to think of a better one, and then a few more coming to peace with what had to be done. 

then i went back to knock on my now ex’s front door. 

her dad opened, which i was very relieved over, even if he seemed less than thrilled. he looked me over, and in a firm, but slightly apologetic way said: she does not want to see you right now. 

(i think he assumed i was going to try and talk her out of the break up?)

and i said not here for her. i just backed into your neighbor’s car, and i need to call my dad, but my phone’s dead. could i borrow yours?

and he looked at me, then back at his neighbors car, which sure enough was dented, then he looked at the chickenshitmobile, and if there was something wrong with it, it just kind of blended into the general Wrongness of the car, then back to me, and i could see him imagining the last ten minutes from my pov: getting broken up with, backing into a car, having to walk up to your exes door and borrow a phone, calling my dad to tell him that i just reversed into someone.  

and his expression shifted from stern and apologetic to truly sad, which felt more kind that i deserved. things only got here because i kept fucking up - forgot to look behind me, forgot to replace the insurance forms, forgot to charge my phone. it was my mess, but his sympathy meant the world to me. i probably would’ve cried if he said sorry, or patted me on the back or called me sport, but instead he said

stay out here – i’ll bring you a phone.

and then he left.  

i found a nice spot on the lawn in the shade under a sycamore, then settled into his grass.i was trying not to freak out, and was doing an okay job. he came out a minute or so later, not just with a phone, but a juicebox and a jar of green olives, which really threw a wrench in the whole try not to cry thing. soon as i saw those, a few tears squoze out. i was still hoping i could pass them off as Manly Tears but then he told me that he’d gotten the olives a few weeks before and had been meaning to hand them off to me, and that this was his last chance for that. then i made a sound like a horse drowning in a bog, and he patted my back pretty rough, four solid thumps, like he wasn't sure if i was crying or choking on an olive, and was trying to cover both bases at once.

then he went back inside, and i made a few more bog horse noises while finishing off the rest of the entire jar of green olives, and then i called my dad.

he was about ten minutes away that day, and luckily was home. he drove over, and we went to the neighbor’s house, and from there things actually went quite nice. the neighbor was a retired man who actually said he could fix the dent himself, no need for insurance. he said he appreciated that i didn't just drive off, and i said i was really sorry about his car, and he said he was really sorry about my car, and then he gestured to the chickenshitmobile and i laughed because it really was a disaster on wheels.

then we left.

i thought we were going to head straight home, but instead we went to a gas station, and we both got several slim jims that we folded into thick enough coils that we could put them on a hotdog bun because the growing up mormon equivalent of having a sad brewski with your dad is just choosing to make bad decisions sober. then he took me to the canals and we watched the sun turn all orange and pink, and he looked over at me and said:

brains are good at remembering bad days. so you gotta make sure that a bad day has a good part in it, so you can remember that too. remember that when you have a kid. try to do a good job on days like that - they're going to be a big part of how they remember you.

and then he gave me a big hug and said he was never going to eat another slim jim again.

---

the year after that i went to college, which kicked my butt in new and exciting ways. and on a lot of those bad days, after a test that went sour, or a faux paus that was particularly embarrassing, or some other hardship of my new adult life, i’d stop by the gas station and pick up leathery, half jerkied hotdog before heading to the canals to watch the sun set. i’d take a bite and imagine my dad next to me, grimacing through the slim-jim wad, asking what good thing i was going use that time to remember. 

and in my head, i’d say you, dad. 

i’m going to remember you.

[trainsinanime]

I wonder: Do Americans know about american school buses? Not their existence in general, but how they're seen overseas.

Over here, they're one of the symbols of America, on par with the Statue of Liberty, the flag, the Eagle, and well ahead of any chain restaurant you can name. People won't know any US states, but they will know these vehicles.

The thing is, here in Germany, we don't have dedicated school buses. The general idea is that kids go to school on their own. When that's not practical, they're expected to use (and given free tickets for) public transit. Public transit is designed around this requirement; there are many places where there is a bus, and anyone can get on it, but the route and timetable really only makes sense for school children. In case a dedicated school bus is really needed, that's generally subcontracted out, and the lines either use something like a Sprinter Van for smaller routes, or a normal city or interurban bus (often a used one that's a bit older). School trips are normal public transit, or a rented bus, typically a coach or regional bus.

It's not a perfect system, in the past couple of years there's been an epidemic of people bringing their kids to school in their cars instead of letting them walk, which is less than ideal. It is what it is. But building a dedicated network of public transit lines only for students, and building dedicated vehicles only for that, has never occurred to anyone here.

Of course we know about these buses, from movies and such, but they're as foreign here as cacti or pick-up trucks (actually we're seeing more and more of these here) or yellow cabs (all europeans will assume all cabs in the US are yellow until they actually visit).

You do see these buses here at times, because people still generally like the idea of the US, even if they have a lot of issues with a lot of details, and so folks bring them over, along with stretch limos and stuff (also not really a thing here). And of course, if someone goes to all that trouble, they don't do it to haul school kids, they rent it out for city tours or as a party bus or whatever.

So you see these yellow things as a symbol of faraway places, scenic vistas, some vague undefined idea of freedom that doesn't necessarily hold up to any contact with reality, and it's just a huge part of the whole US aesthetic.

And then you go to a student exchange with the US, and you finally get the chance: You yourself get to ride in one of these iconic chrome yellow buses! It looks just like in the movies! You get in, you drive in them a little…

…and you realise they're shit. Just the worst buses in the western world. Terrible suspension. Uncomfortable seats with weirdly high backs (so they don't have to put seatbelts in, they just restrict how far kids can fly in an accident). Everything made out of the cheapest materials. Turns out the reason why the US uses school buses like that instead of normal modern city buses, which the US has, is to save money and because they just hate kids.

And then it hits you why US Americans say "as American as apple pie", a dish that is made and enjoyed literally anywhere in the world, instead of "as American as yellow school buses". Of course the Americans already knew all this. They got tortured by these things forever. It would never occur to them to see this as a symbol of America, it's just a normal part of life for them. It's a symbol of school and school life and sometimes normalcy, and tells us that these actors getting out of it are supposed to be teenagers, nothing more.

But most people in Europe have, of course, never ridden on these buses. So when they see them in movies and TV, that's a giant big yellow signifier that we're not in Hessen or Wallonia or wherever anymore. A symbol of a different world, one that may be at most a once-in-a-lifetime-experience for most people, just like a picture of a tropical beach, Mayan Pyramids, the Great Wall of China, or Hildesheim (there's no reason to go there twice). And I think Americans don't know that, and that's fascinating.

[webism]

pornstar!nanami, who has a ritualistic approach to his job—go in, deliver a stellar performance, give his co-star a real orgasm, get paid. he gets a lot of action out of his job, and rarely seeks out... personal trysts.

but pornstar!nanami meets you in a bar, as cliche as it is, and whiskey-dick must be a myth because there's no way he could ever struggle to get it up when you look like that. and he's a gentleman, he swears it, but the sight of you in even the most simple of situations makes him want to be a bad man—do bad things.

pornstar!nanami who buys you a drink and somehow convinces you, in your heavenly stature, to come home with him. he feels like a virgin all over again, wracked with excitement and electric nerves all the same. he feels bad for being so forward with you, but he'll make you breakfast in the morning to make up for his degrading lust.

pornstar!nanami who just can't wait to get home, despite you agreeing to come spend the night. he's upset with the lewd forefront of his mind, but doesn't give himself long to lecture his own self before he's urging you into the dingy bathroom and attaching his lips to yours.

pornstar!nanami who wants to be a sweetheart, wants to swoon you, but his dick is just too hard and the noise you make when his hand swats your ass is too good to deny himself. he's so used to a camera crew being present when he's having sex that bending you over the sink and kneeling down to eat you out from behind feels more intimate than filthy.

pornstar!nanami who makes you cum on his tongue in record time: he has the practice after all. you're a shaking mess of moans when he finally stands straight to meet your gaze in the mirror. who smiles at the way you already look so fucked out, and he's hardly had his way with you yet.

pornstar!nanami who thinks your moans are made for porn when he turns you and pins you against the bathroom door—the one that doesn't lock—to catch your lips in a hot and messy kiss that has you dizzy already. before you can register his movements, he's hoisting your legs up to wrap around his waist and pushing into you with a torturous ease, like he's fucking made to fill you.

pornstar!nanami who, as he starts to thrust into you, letting your back hit the door with each snap of his hips, keeps thinking about how miserable taking his next job will be. how's he supposed to dramatise pleasure when he's felt something as perfect as you? clenching around him, each gasp you take from his breath as he fucks you to the edge of pleasure and back. nothing is going to compare.

pornstar!nanami who starts to ramble, his mind reeling with need and pleasure and want and everything on the path to infatuation. "you're so petty wrapped around my cock like this," he grunts, fucks into you faster, deeper. "fuck, i dont believe in fate but—shit—this... god i'm made for you. just for you."

pornstar!nanami whose words force you both over the edge, and you cum in blissful unison. eyes squeezed shut and kento's teeth sinking gently into the skin of your shoulder as he empties his balls. he debates telling you what he does, inviting you to film with him for a private shoot, something for him to keep and lock away for his eyes only.

pornstar!nanami who watches as you melt into his arms, eyes wide and watching every beautiful feature of his face as he stays seated inside of you. you're about to part your lips and admit that you know who he is, that you've seen him a hundred times before when the night is dark and your fingers slip into your panties at the sight of him on your phone screen, that you'd do anything to see him again, that you'd star for him, do anything he'd ask... when there's a knock on the bathroom door :)

[flowafairy]

holding you , holding me ✿ bllk men

﹒postscript : when they realise they’re in love, with you. ɞ‎ feat. nagi, reo, rin, karasu, shidou, sae, kaiser ɞ‎ cw fem reader in a few, banter, suggestive

nagi realises he’s in love with you when the late night calls start getting more frequent. he had started craving your presence more and more. hell, he felt lovesick.

“what a hassle..” nagi’s head flops against the bed sheets, his gaze constantly shifting to his phone to see if you’ve replied to his text yet.

the nagi waiting for your texts? not to mention texting first, call a man whipped!

”i only take a few second’s to reply..” nagi picks up his phone again, grumbling when his notifications are empty. if he replies as soon as you do, why do you have to spend the next 3 decades replying back?

nagi’s usually the one who replies and then logs on minecraft for hours. him replying in mere seconds at your texts—you’re definitely special. very special in his eyes, oh. there’s something else that caught his eyes.

nagi’s phone lit up with a notification, from you.

sure! it’s a date then :))

cool, :x. 7PM?

reo realies he’s in love with you when his pockets really start to hurt.

i mean really. he’s been spoiling you relentlessly for the past few weeks. even if you insist you don’t need a new shirt, by tomorrow your closet is filled with them.

you just can’t seem to escape his mind. whenever he walks by the street and spots a store, his first thought goes to you, that maybe you’d like this. that maybe he should buy it for you—of course he will.

“you know.” reo smiles at you as you try on the new necklace he bought for you. “i booked a dinner for us, just us.”

“oh?” you hum, still struggling with the hook. “can you help me?”

“sure.” he’s more than happy to help you hook your necklace—a chance to put his hands on you? he’ll take it gladly.

“so about that dinner..” his hands swiftly clasp your necklace around your neck. “are you coming or what?”

“i don’t know… the mikage reo taking me out?” you grin up at him. “im a little shy.”

you and reo laugh soundly, well, looks like you’ve got a date tonight.

rin couldn’t believe it.

he’s in love with you, playback—he’s in love.

it started off with smaller details, like how he would leave his soccer practice or gym earlier than usual to see you. and also how his messages app slowly started to become his most used app.

soccer wasn’t everything anymore, he had you too now.

“don’t make me waste money on this lukewarm shit ever again.” rin gruffed as he watched you sip the drink he had bought you from the convenience store earlier.

normally, he’d never waste his money on some useless milkshake from the store, that’s not even good for your body. but seeing you contentedly gulp at the fresh taste of your drink, he can’t seem to hold himself back.

“give me some.”

the words slip out of his tongue before he can control them.

“you wanna try?” well he’s definitely colored you surprised now. “come here then, rinnie.”

rin could feel his face slightly heat up at the nickname. he scoots closer to you, snatching the drink from your hand with no warning.

“hey!” you glare at him as he drinks the entire thing in one gulp, definitely not what you anticipated. “that was mine, you were supposed to take a sip.” you huff at him.

rin only rolls his eyes. “i paid for it. ill buy you a new one later.” your eyes sparkle at his words.

“fine, you win.” you smile. “im going to get going before you become grumpy and tell me to shoo.” you give him a teasing wink, about to get up from his couch when suddenly he grabs your arm.

“wait.” he grits his teeth, biting back words. “don’t go.”

“rin?”

“just, don’t.”

“you missed me, huh?” karasu smirks. he had his hair down, for once not put up with an insane amount of gel—karasu in all his glory.

“i didn’t.” you huff at him. “you look even uglier with your hair down.”

“yer’ comparing my beauty to your birds nest?” karasu crosses his arms, leaning against the door.

“oh, we can see them split ends girl.” you roll your eyes.

karasu has always loved bantering with you, but nowadays, it seems as if his heart has been telling him thats not the only reason his heartbeat speeds up whenever he’s around you.

he loves bantering with you, he loves you.

there’s a prolonged silence, karasu’s anticipating if he should say what he’s about to say. he usually isn’t this nervous—you’re the exception to that.

“you think you wanna go out sometime, yeah?” it’s the way his sharp eyes soften that makes your heart start doing flips.

“yeah, i do.”

there’s a moment of comfortable silence, your brain ingraving the memory in the back of your head. which of course, quickly gets ruined by his cocky smirk. he wasn’t the best at dealing with these moments

“even y’can’t resist my charm.” karasu sticks his tongue out at you. “ill pick you up at 9.”

“you… get back here!”

shidou could feel a wide grin on his face as he read your message—“sure, i’d love to go sky diving with you!”

anybody would of said that is a crazy idea for a first date, but you? you can say you definitely match his freak.

his heart explodes into a burst of enthusiasm whenever you’re around him. he can feel a rush of serotonin whenever you accidentally brush your hands against his.

oh he was so in love. he is definitely wifing you up when you deploy the parachute- how could he not when he feels like he’s going to explode with all these bottled up feelings.

he in fact had a very disappointed pout on his face when you said it was far too soon for marriage, so what if you’re not dating yet? you can start now!

your betrayal will not be forgotten. but hey, he can try again next year.

sae realised he’s in love with you when you started becoming an avid figure in his daily routine.

it was like muscle memory for him to wake up and check for your good morning text, never failing to emit an amused scoff from his lips.

of course, he acknowledged the fact that he was in love with you. but would he dare entertain the thought and risk the beloved friendship you already have? never.

“nobody’s looking.”

this was dangerous. he has you trapped against the wall in the locker room, his lips tantalisingly close to yours. he wasn’t suppose to be doing this—but how could he resist when you came to see him at practice?

“sae…we can’t here.” you try to be rational, but your breathing is just as heavy as his.

“just shut-“

footsteps. someone was coming. sae pushes you away behind a locker so nobody see’s you, leaning against the wall nonchalantly.

maybe next time he’ll get you.

kaiser took some time to notice his feelings, but even he started getting self conscious of all the excuses he started making to touch you, and the flirting was starting to cross a few boundaries as well.

maybe he’s just lust-driven, that’s all he thought for a while. he chose to distance himself, and you didn’t miss the change in his behaviour.

he thought distancing himself would help ease his feelings.. not make them worse.

he can feel his heart throbbing, mind full with only thoughts of you—is it love or is it lust?

he doesn’t know, he’s never felt like this before. what even is love? thats stupid.

“hey.” he smirks, grasping your hand, a habit of his by now. “what are you up to, schatz?” the light-hearted pet name rolls off his tongue smoothly.

“michael.” you look at him, eyes widening a little. “i haven’t seen you in forever.” his expression slightly wavers at that.

“oh i’ve been.. busy.” he lies, smiling. the truth is, he hasn’t been busy at all. he’s been avoiding you, you and your precious smile.

“its okay.” you pat his shoulder. “i just missed you.”

“i missed you too.” he blurts out unknowingly, slightly flinching at what he said. “i’ve been avoiding you.” he confesses.

your eyebrow’s slightly raise at that. “…why?”

“because.. i don’t know.”

your hands hesitantly reach out. you knew how he was about physical touch, but maybe just this once he needs it.

he bents down a little, his face hitting your shoulder as he reciprocated your hug.

“Ich liebe dich.”

apologies, some parts aren’t as long as the others. i got lazy ( and have favorites… ✌️) only 7 chrc bc i had no ideas for isagi