#that's on you dawg

[respectthepetty]

Hey petty so recently I told you that you’d single-handedly convinced me to watch the HIStory and I have been having a great goddamn time Taiwan my absolute my beloved my belle of the ball you give me everything I want baby, but…I’ve come to Make Our Days Count and I need some encouragement to start it. Because I KNOW how it ends I KNOW it’s gonna hurt me so I need someone to hype me up and talk me into it

Anon, I told you not to follow me down my trashy path!

I'm not trying to convince y'all to watch anything. Never. Not ever. I loved Hit Bit Love, but I will never recommend that to anyone because I know what it was.

So now you're asking me, the person who consistently tells you not to watch anything unless you want to and not based on my unabashed love for it, to convince you to watch the HIStory-that-shall-not-be-named?

Well, I can't because, as you very well know, it's gonna fucking hurt! That series was, on average, ranked around an 8.8 each episode by 20 faithful watchers on My Drama List until the final episode which is a 4.8 with double the raters (40). Not only did it bury the gay at the last possible second after jailing the gay mafia lead in the previous installment right when Taiwan legalized marriage equality, but half of the world was going into lockdown, and the other half was burying its head in the sand about it. Basically, the morale was so low in BL Land, hell had to make new layers because HIStory decided to be high art and kill someone.

And it would be another two years before we got the next installment, my beloved HIStory 4: Close to You.

Knowing what I know, I wouldn't even tell myself to watch the HIStory-that-shall-not-be-named? I don't want to remember watching it, so I definitely don't want to talk about it.

Instead I'm going to convince you of why it's important that I did watch it four years ago in retrospect:

The Apology Tour

Taiwan knows it fucked up.

Every year since that ill-fated series, we get Wayne and Huang playing in the final episode of other BLs which greatly relies on us knowing who they are and their HIStory because without it, the emotional impact is wasted.

2020 - Life: Love on the Line (Japan) - They played tourists seeing the Northern Lights which is something they mentioned in HIStory.

2021 - Be Loved in House: I Do - Wayne played a random guy the lead runs into and tells him to never let anyone take his love away, but the two actually played in HIStory together, so Wayne's character realizes this as the lead runs away.

2022 - Plus & Minus - They are guests at the leads' wedding who run into each other and feel an instant connection as if they have met in a previous life.

2023 - Kiseki: Dear to Me - They play gangstas from a rival squad, but some of y'all have not watched episode 8, so I'll shut up.

Oh, and the side pair also pop up places like HIStory 4: Close to You.

Basically, each time these guys show up somewhere, it's a spectacle. It's basically AU fanfic every year for us. If they couldn't be together in HIStory, they can be together in other ways, in other shows, and in other universes, so I'm excited to see where they will pop up in 2024, but the commoner who hasn't watched the HIStory-that-shall-not-be-named will not care as much.

Anon, do you want to feel those feelings?

Do you want Taiwan to continue apologizing for its grave misdeed? Do you want to be "in the know" each time you see these two appear on your screen? Do you want to believe that they are together in another universe? Do you want all of this?

Because if you do, you can't have it if you don't watch the series that caused this ripple effect. You are missing a foundational competent of their legacy if you skip out on the HIStory-that-shall-not-be-named.

However, I can't encourage you to watch this.

I watched nine glorious episodes, then got beat down in the finale, only to spend the last four years gleefully sitting front row to the apology tour, so ask yourself if you are comfortable making that deal as well?

You decide.

[paracosmicka]

have doodle lol

functionally, i am alive, emotionally?? idk about that work has me crying almost everyday now chat idk if i can do this anymore

[emmyrosee]

Fluffy fluffy prompt to hubby sukuna or whom ever you choose “awnn my poor baby come here” then he slowly walks towards you rubbing his eyes all soft and tired 🥺

There’s a low grumble behind you that snaps you out of your slicing of fruit, but you merely brush it off before moving onto the next strawberry.

Then, the grumble ripples through the air again, and you keep slicing, trying your best to ignore the noise.

It happens a third time. You giggle, “what, baby?” You put the knife down and turn to face Sukuna, arms crossing over your chest as you look him up and down.

He looks childish, with the comforter wrapped around his shoulders and hair ruffled around messily. His eyes are puffy from sleep and his cheeks hold a little flush, but his lips are still pouted in a scowl. “You left me alone in bed,” he grumbles. “I told you not to do that. Bed gets too cold.”

“Is that the only reason you don’t like me leaving the bed?” You ask, knowing the real answer. But you also know he’ll never say it. He’s stubborn like that.

He offers you a roll of his eyes, “yes, and I hate the cold. You’re aware of this.”

“My poor baby,” you tease, opening your arms for him to shamble into. “C’mere. Let me warm you back up from the mean, evil, cold covers.”

“You’d better,” he murmurs, stalking towards you and into your arms. He opens his own to reveal the corners of the blanket balled into his big fists, and when he embraces you, you’re shrouded in darkness but melting into the warmth that his chest brews. Your laugh softly, and burrow into his chest, which rumbles with a hum in confusion. "Somethin' funny under there?"

"Just dark," you say, wrapping your arms around his waist and gently squeezing him out of cute aggression. "I also can't really breathe, so-"

"Good," he says, resting his head on top of yours, tightening his arms to keep you in place. "Won't have to deal with your ass leaving the bed, messing up my sleep." You laugh some more, only to send a few pokes to his waist, making him jerk away from you and loosen his hold.

"Who's gonna cuddle you at night then?"

"I'm a man, I don't need cuddles."

When you do, however, try to get out of his arms, he grumbles and pulls you tighter again, with an annoyed grunt. "No."

"That's what I thought, Sukuna."

[rainbow-sunshine-unicorn]

People laughed at Anthony for this:

But, getting married literally solved ALL of his issues

Insomnia? Cured

Alcoholism? He found something better to drink

Anger Issues? Booped out of him

and THIS is who he’s married to:

Like of course, he has no complaints and thinks his marriage is perfect!!!

[hurlyburlytopsyturvy]

her whack-a-mole game go deadly

[peanutheaddd]

How Dose chief fell about his office having a supa evil criminal just chilling with his son (lol I love your swap au)(also this is a swap au question)

Grin. considering that the petey and dog man coparenting dynamic happens very gradually and mostly in private in this au i think chief would just get hella whiplash LMFAOOOOO i reckon it takes him a while to get used to it LOLLLLL

[cupiidzbow]

i talked abt this on Twitter but I have to take a realllyyyyy take a good hard look at people’s sonic humanizations sometimes bc people really just have such an uncknowledged colorism issue 😭😭😭 like why are people so comfortable making knuckles and shadow the darkest bc they “aggressive” or “stupid” but so against making sonic darker skinned bc he’s a “good guy and cool” LIKE QUICKLY TELL ME WHY 🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤

[ed3lsgard]

mark s you poor man. half of the fandom hates you for literally wanting to live, and not end your life for two strangers. one of which is your outie who doesn’t even see you as a full person. you don’t even owe him anything, yet you still helped his wife escape because you are a good person and you knew it was the right thing to do. then all you wanted was to be with the woman YOU love for as long as you could. don’t even worry about it i will be defending you like there’s no tomorrow

[boomposhpow]

stanley pines the man you are

a better son/daughter by Rilo Kiley

[bigby-billy]

I can't believe it's been like this for 100+ years bro ain't no way

[ryescapades]

*ੈ‧₊༺ "AND GIVE ME THE NIGHT AND DAY,"

characters: kaji ren (wbk) x f!reader contents: nsfw mdni !! oral (f!receiving), slight dacryphilia + overstim, cum eating, hair pulling wc ~ 700 (not proofread! just a bunch of hornknee word vomit)

a/n: title inspo from 365 by zedd & katy perry! to all my moots who have been enabling ryekaji the past week, i love u guys sm

you feel the blankets rustle around you, a sudden gush of wind causing your thighs to twitch in the cold. the room is still dark as your eyes flutter awake, the silhouette looming over your bottom half freezing when you furrow your eyebrows in your sleep-induced state.

“ren…?”

the absence of his headphones and a sucker in his mouth makes him feel quite out of place, though then again the reason he’s here in the first place is to remediate one of those problems…

kaji falters, metallic eyes taking note of the hoodie you’re wearing, one that you’d undoubtedly stolen from his wardrobe. the piece of clothing engulfs you in an endearing heap, the hem of it brushing against the middle of your thighs where the lack of pants only seems to make him swallow at nothing.

from where he’s kneeling on the bed, his gaze drifts back up to yours, “sorry, i–” he hesitates for a second, “can i…?” kaji wordlessly glances down at the apex of your thighs, and your heavily lidded eyes give a single bleary blink before you speak. “go ahead,” the affirmation washes over him like a wispy cloud lulled by the morning breeze.

he wastes no time, lowering himself to slowly lick a stripe up your bare pussy. the moment his tongue makes contact with your cunt, a moan is pulled out of your mouth, soft and breathy as you tiredly throw your head back against the pillow. he starts off slow, all smooches and kitten-licks over your mound. he’s gentle with his ministrations, extremely so that you’re beginning to fall back asleep from his touch.

your hand reaches towards him just as he laps at your dripping heat, reverently running your fingers through his blonde strands. the sound of continuous wet slurps echoes in the room, kaji’s eyes almost drooping shut as if savouring the taste of your juices.

“ren– mmhn…” you whimper into the pillow beneath your head as his tongue dives into your twitching hole, slick gushing past his moistened lips. his nose repeatedly bumps against your clit every time he switches from thrusting into you and flicking the tip of his tongue along your slits, your debauched sounds getting louder and louder as time passes.

kaji grunts as he curls his tongue, trying to take every drop of your sticky mess as much as he can. he eats at you like a man starving, drinking you up like you’re the only thing he’s ever craved to taste.

the coil in your stomach builds faster, your legs tensing beside his head before he presses his palms on the back of your thighs to spread you wider for him. “o-oh god, i’m close,” you gasp as your back arches from the mattress below, which only seems to spur him on. he fervently sucks and laps at your cunt, sensing you quivering on his tongue.

not a second later, you convulse under him, lips parting and eyes snapping shut as your orgasm rips through your whole body. you grip tighter on his hair, kaji’s name falling from your lips in a keening cry of pleasure.

oversensitivity starts to seep in when kaji doesn’t relent, his mouth still latched onto your soaked pussy. you protest with a slurred whine, pushing at his shoulder and trying to buck your hips away. “ren– ren! ‘s enough,”

he gives one last intense slurp and a loud prolonged suck at your swollen clit, causing you to yelp and only then does he pull away. it’s a habit kaji had grown accustomed to whenever you’re forcing him away from the sweet nectar between your thighs, much like how he’d begrudgingly pull out his lollipops on several occasions.

“‘m sorry, ‘m sorry. you just taste so good,” he rasps, not bothering to wipe away the shine on his chin from the mixture of his spit and your cum as he peppers butterflies kisses on the inside of your thighs. kaji revels in the way your hand is still sifting through his already disheveled hair, albeit weakly as he watches you eventually go back to your much needed slumber.

a pretty thing like you, letting him have such a sweet little treat. kaji should probably think of something to gift to you in the morning.

taglist open !

thought abt this like literally in the middle of my exam and i had to get it down asap right after i got back wtf Wtf someone get this man away from me!!! (don't pls )

©🅁🅈🄴🅂🄲🄰🄿🄰🄳🄴🅂. do not steal, translate or repost my work anywhere else !

[jovialoddity]

More Professor Puzzles stuff cuz my finals are over and I can draw again :)

[lucabyte]

Yeah, that about sums it up.

[ssprouttz]

IM GONNA TWEAK OUT I MISS YHEM SO BAD OUGH

Extras under the cut

[eatsurspleen]

everyday i get jealous of those people who write essays analyzing, picking apart, and overall appreciating their favorite character's dynamic with another, the character's personality, or backstory cause im usually left like this when i think about Marcille for too long

[emmyrosee]

Can we talk about how rintaro probably swallows your engagement ring by accident?

Honestly? Okay listen… Do you think he swallows it? I think he swallows it.

Because like okay. Rintaro puts a ton of planning behind everything he does, he wants to make your engagement this massive scene out of a movie because you’re out of a movie; you swooped into his life and showed him the path he wants to be on, the one that always leads back to you.

But like. Why would everything not crumble around him each and every time he tries to work up the courage to finally pop that four word phrase?

It was supposed to be simple. It was supposed to be easy.

An engagement ring, propped on some frosting on the center of the cake, ready for you to scoop up and slip on and give him an excited yes and the world would clap and he’d get a Nobel prize or something for such an extravagant proposal.

Except. That doesn’t happen.

The first bite Rintaro takes, he shovels in his mouth nervously, and there’s a massive shock to his teeth when they clank down hard on the ring on his cake.

How he didn’t notice? How the waiter messed them up? He blames it on the waiter.

Him swallowing the ring..? Yeah no. That’s got him written all over it.

His nerves just got the best of him and sends the large diamond down his throat, eyes bulging out as he realizes. He chokes briefly, grabbing his wine and gulping it down to wash the jewelry down.

Uh oh.

“Baby?” You ask. “Something wrong?”

“…nope.”

The rest of dinner is silent, you trying desperately to make conversation and his mind going insane trying to process what to do next.

Your engagement ring, the object that completely envelops your love in a physical sense is floating in the acids of his stomach, and who knows what the next step in the plan is.

He dreads it.

The car ride is complete silence, you occasionally clearing your throat or sighing to try and strike a conversation, but Rin’s mind is on a complete other planet, trying to make a map of his next move and how to get the ring 1.) out of his body and 2.) to you.

Is he really going to give you a ring he ate? He can’t. That’s vile. But he can’t spend the money on another one, even if it is more than worth it to spend it on you, and-

“Rin,” you whisper, touching his thigh. “You just blew a red light.”

“Damn- I’m sorry,” he apologizes.

“Don’t be sorry… is everything alright?”

“Just fine.”

“Are you mad at me?”

His foot slams hard, hard on the breaks, causing commotion behind him as the wailing of car horns fills the air. “God, baby, no, of course not!”

“Then why have you been so quiet?” You ask sadly.

“I can’t tell you.” Out of embarrassment and stupidity, he thinks to himself.

You leave it at that. You go quiet again, and when he makes a move to rest his hand on your thigh, you turn away, and his whole heart sinks.

The rest of the ride home drags on. There’s no more attempts of noise, no more sighs or clearing of throats, only the roar of the engine for a few more miles until you get home. He barely gets the chance to park the car before you’re out and storming up the driveway, clearly upset with the situation. He sighs and follows you in, and you’ve hiked up the stairs to the bathroom. He winces at the slam of the door, and he’s quick to call osamu for advice.

Advice that the twin gives him around countless gawfs of unhelpful, judgmental laughter.

He tells Rintaro to calm down and stop being weird towards you- take a spoonful of laxatives mixed in with water and let the body “process” for as long as it needs to. Get you a new ring, trash the old one and mourn the loss of money after you two get engaged.

He sighs and ends the call, making his way to the upstairs bathroom where he keeps the medicine. You brush past him in a towel, refusing to acknowledge him or his presence with so much as a “hmph.”

The shower he takes alone is cold, his mind is loud and his heart is pounding and his stomach queases for more than a few reasons. How could he have messed this up so badly? It was supposed to be cute! Just flashy enough for him to flaunt you, but simple enough to not be messed up.

Yet he messed it up.

Rintaro dries himself and makes his way into the bedroom, where you’re already burrowed under the covers on your side of the bed. He throws on some form of pajama before making his way downstairs to make his laxative drink.

One tablespoon of laxative mixed with water, allow body to process for one day before repeating, let all powder dissolve before drinking- he follows every single one of the thorough instructions completely, and he starts to drink the concoction with a scowl of disgust.

The hell is this made out of?

“What’re you still doing up?” You ask, and he swallows the last of the laxative with a wince.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he confesses. Then, he sighs and turns to face you, and your face tells him everything he needs to know.

You’re still upset.

“Listen,” he begins, carding a massive hand through his hair. “About tonight. It was absolutely nothing you did. It was my fault, and my annoyance and attitude had nothing to do with you.”

“Okay,” you sigh, but there’s an unconvinced lilt in your voice.

“I wanted this to be a perfect night, I wanted it to go so well-“

“Rinnie?”

“And I’m sorry, about my silence in the restaurant,” he sniffles, big hands pressing against his face and rubbing roughly. “The chef was supposed to put it on our cakes and his little rat waiter messed it up, and-“

“Put what on our cakes?”

“YOUR ENGAGEMENT RING!” He groans in complete agony. “Your ring! Fuck! I tried so hard to make the perfect proposal, and I just wanted it to be beautiful-“

“My… my ring?”

“Uh…. Yeah?”

“My engagement ring?”

Your bottom lip wobbles, and he feels like he’s going to upchuck every bit of food he’s ever eaten.

Though that may not be the worst thing at this point.

“You wanna marry me?” You wail, collapsing to your knees in excitement. He perks up slightly, slipping of his seat to join you on the floor.

“Of course I want to marry you,” he confesses. “God, I’ve… I’ve wanted to marry you for the past three years, I got the ring perfect four months ago.” He blinks out a line of tears to mimic yours, and you cup his cheeks in your trembling palms. “But every time I tried to propose, something went wrong, and I… I didn’t know how to do it anymore. I’m sorry baby…”

“Rintaro,” you say softly, chuckling around the your quivering voice. “I never needed a big proposal. Ever. All I ever want is for you to promise me we’ll be together. And that’s more than enough.”

His face softens before he lets a hand smack his face in obliviousness, disappointed in himself that he got so lost in trying to impress you that he almost didn’t.

“Put it on me!” You squeal, holding out your hand. He turns a scarlet red and looks away.

“I uh… I can’t.”

You deflate slightly, and he gives you an embarrassed smile. “Why not?” You whimper, emotionally fried from the rollercoaster he just put you on.

“I don’t have it.”

“What!”

“I mean, technically i do,” he says, gnawing his lip. “But I… uhm… I can’t give it to you yet. I uh… I need a few days. And… a few cleaners to look at it.” He gives you a shy chuckle and his toothy grin is mixed with frightened eyes, and your own widen. “The uhm… the ring was on the cake…”

Your hands clasp over your mouth, tears immediately drying and replacing with small, choked and stifled laughter.

“You didn’t,” you manage. He nods, uncomfortable. “Did… did you eat my ring, Rintaro?”

“It wasn’t my fault! Damn waiter gave us the wrong cakes!”

“AND YOU SWALLOWED IT?”

“I WAS NERVOUS, OKAY?”

“RINTARO!”

You two clutch each other on the cold kitchen floor as you laugh, heads knocking against each other as you steal kisses from between cackles.

“I’ve got an idea,” he says once you’ve both seemed to calm down, and he quickly pops on his feet to grab the bread on the counter. With the twist tie, he takes it off the bread and makes his way back to you. “Give me your hands.”

The tie only fits around the top part of your ring finger, and you sniffle softly at how silly and sweet this whole thing is.

“We’re gonna get married,” he says between an emotional wheeze. “And we’re going to grow old together, have our nine dogs and four cats.”

“No kids?”

“Ew gross.”

“Yeah, sure, as if you don’t bend to my every whim bro.” You shift slightly to rest your back against his chest, curling against his still sitting frame. “And our kids are going to love the Miyas-“

“Because you love the Miya’s. I have nothing to do with that.”

“As if Osamu’s not going to be your best man,” you scoff. He smirks and buries his face in your hair, listening to your words weave through his brain and calming him down from the disaster of a night.

Then, he hums, “you want to take my last name?” He asks, and you give him a small swat on the leg. “What! Im just asking!”

“Of course I’m going to take your last name,” you say, turning your head up to face him. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Yeah?” He asks breathlessly, tearing up again when you nod.

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”