#that's literally the last hot take ive posted. and i personally find it to be ice cold
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hey you were wondering so i wanted to let you know that nobody has talked about you in either of the servers. and i know it's really tough when the blocks come from people you really like or were previously friendly with, but i think a lot of people block not because they hate you or even anything close to that. but just because they're not wanting to see the things you post about. i hope this makes you feel a little bit better, but i do really understand why it feels bad man, hang in there!
thank you i was genuinely wondering if someone had said something because it seems all of these users blocked me around the same time
but the thing is my content hasnt changed at all recently. i post the same stuff i always do. some of these users didn't follow me and never interacted with my posts in the first place, so it sucks that i cant look at their blogs anymore because i was a genuine fan of their content. some of them are people who were mutuals with me and have even interacted with me countless times, saying they love my blog and enjoy talking to me. im just not sure what happened but from my perspective, it feels like a switch has been flipped. one day i was a normal member of the fandom, the next im the social pariah. i just cant help but wonder what i did to earn so much backlash
#like is this seriously all because a month ago i said s11 ian should be drawn with body fat?#that's literally the last hot take ive posted. and i personally find it to be ice cold#i genuinely dont understand like is this a zoomer thing am i obsessed with how strangers on the internet see me#i hate to sit here and wine and cry to my dozens of still active and very sweet followers over being blocked by some strangers#but i genuinely have nobody irl that knows me for who i am and cares about me so yeah i rely on this website for validation a lot#i can only be myself here and every time in ny entire fucking life ive tried to be myself i get rejected#its not about the fandom or the people even its about my inability to be rejected by those i feel are in an elite class to myself#rjs will really have you rolling on the floor sobbing throwing up over getting blocked on The Blocking Website#asks#anonymous#sorry for those who followed me for shameless stuff the past year but heres your reminder that my blog is mostly just mental breakdowns#all i do is open this app to bitch and complain tbh
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Sorryyyy its me again uhh i promise this’ll be my last ask for a while
do you have any yaelokre headcanons on the Lark and how they handle money? Or any stories like that or again anything I really don’t mind <3
(Also ive seen in a few of your posts that you write fanfiction right? Could I possibly have your ao3 or wattpad user?)
you never have to apologize for sending me an ask! i may take a hot second to reply to it, but you’re not bothering me or anything! 🥰
yes, i do write fics! you can find my AO3 here!
I like to imagine that every kid gets a cut of money from their gigs, while a big chunk goes into an overall pot for them to use for various things, like groceries and house upkeep and other necessities
Perrine mostly handles money and budgeting for the group
She also decides prices for their shows
Cole wanted to make them free, but…
“Cole, we are literally orphans, all under the age of fourteen. we need money.”
Perrine has a lot of financial anxiety, especially during winter
So she doesn’t really like buying things that often
Even when it comes to her personal money, she doesn’t buy much, even when she really wants something (if one of the others notice her eyeballing something, they’ll get it for her, which she is always grateful for, but tries to assure them they don’t need to do that)
She saves up a lot and has the most out of the whole group
Cole doesn’t buy stuff that often, but they certainly spend from time to time
Clémentine LOVES to buy gifts for the others
They also get enticed really easily by cute trinkets
Kingsley drains his personal money within days of getting it
He buys random stuff, usually things he touches once or twice and then never touches again
He’s always broke
#ask#yaelokre#meadowlark#the lark#hayfields#yaelokre headcanons#cole yaelokre#clementine yaelokre#kingsley yaelokre#perrine yaelokre
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Heyo, saw your open for fanfic question and thought I might ask as well^^;
Do you have some wips you really love and that we can get a sneak peak of? No matter if you plan to write them, are writing them rn or just really love the scenes,^^
im always open for fic questions if you have something you'd like to ask!! or if you want to ask/chat about chanbig or another ship ive written for or whatever else 💗
I have like 48313004 WIPs I swear 😂 but the ones I have outlines for or are working on the most rn right now are:
post-canon chanbig joint vacation with big getting badly sunburned and chan helping him cool down and apply aloe vera and things um escalating from there (inspired by nodt's heatstroke photoshoot). very soft and smutty getting together fic, something emotionally easier than my last fic
chanbig grindr au based on that viral grindr convo - big just moved into a new building and he gets a grindr message from one of his neighbors (chan) asking to borrow a wrench/screwdriver and big offers to help fix the problem (even though he knows jack shit about plumbing) bc chan is like the hottest guy he's seen. feat. wet tshirts and much ogling
follow up to kitty!big fic where big tries to find out why/how he turns into a cat and he and Chan get closer as they share this secret and feelings develop
big coming to work for the theerapanyakuls and going through training and becoming something like friends or master/protégé with chan, covering from pre-canon to post-canon - told from chan's perspective, as he falls in love with big (and big?? well, after he gets over kinn... 😉). I had to stop myself from working on this right after posting my last fic because it's a big project and I need a break haha
ice skating au where big is an elite skater that has lost one of his jumps and his coach brings chan in as a specialist to help him get it back. feat. chan as a hot but hardline coach and a lot of up close and personal training
not chanbig but I am literally soooo soooooo close 🤏 to finishing a follow-up to my pike/boimler fic. boimler comes back to his time and cannot seem to sleep. and because it's trek there is questionable use of the holodeck and the implications/fallout of time travel. I'm literally like 200 words away from posting it and have been for the last six months lmaooo
there's a bunch more that are not even wips really but just ideas that will probably never become more but you never know!
ill put the excerpt from heatstroke!fic below the cut 💗 it hasn't been edited and I'm not anywhere close to done so it might differ from the final fic!
Big woke up to the cold touch of ice on his face.
Heat surrounded him from all sides, pressing heavily into his limbs and holding him down on the lounge chair. Exhaustion from the sleepless night before and the comforting warmth made it impossible for him to open his eyes. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this relaxed, and he didn't want anything to disturb him from it.
Flinching away from the strange, cold touch, he tried to turn over onto his side, when a familiar voice cut through his fading dream.
"Big, wake up."
Big frowned, squinting one eye open.
A shirtless Chan, his broad shoulders gleaming under the bright afternoon sunlight, was kneeling next to him in the sand. In his hands he held two colorful drinks, each with their own flower. A small grin pressed at the corners of his lips, like he was just barely holding back his amusement at something. His eyes were soft and focused right on Big.
He looked, for lack of a better word, like a dream. Big's dream.
Heat muddling his mind, Big felt his hand rising up to touch Chan's face, before his thoughts kicked back in.
Both eyes flashing open, Big inhaled sharply and jerked back, the lounge chair creaking uncertainly underneath him. His heart leapt and set off racing under his skin.
Immediately, Chan leaned back. The amusement dropped from his face, concern taking its place.
"Big, it's okay," he said. "It's just me."
Big hurriedly sat up, burning embarrassment and remnants of strange arousal making a mess of his head. His vision blurred and refocused in a way that made him feel sick. He felt overly warm now, his skin prickling every time he moved.
"We're in [location]," Chan continued. Though his low voice was nothing more than factual, as if he were speaking about the weather, it was soothing. "Nothing's wrong. You're safe."
Big shook his head, trying to clear it. His tongue felt glued to the roof of his mouth, thirst drawing his throat tight.
Vacation. The beach. Chan. Not a dream.
The ideas coalesced into the present, reminding him of where he was and–crucially–that he was not allowed to touch Chan like that.
Like they were lovers.
He ignored the sharp drop of his heart at the thought, a feeling that was already all-too-familiar. He should have been used to it, after months of this painful, deepening kind of yearning that had cropped up in the wake of their shared recovery. He should have been better than this.
A cool hand wrapping around his wrist pulled him out of his thoughts, grounding him to the present.
"Are you going to throw up?" Chan asked, dipping his head to catch Big's eye.
Big's voice was strangely hoarse when he could finally make himself reply. "No."
"Good. Take a drink of this," Chan said, as he folded Big's hand around one of the brightly-colored drinks.
Big was already lifting the straw to his lips on autopilot before the thought hit him and he paused. "Does this have alcohol?"
A grin tucked itself into the corner of Chan's lips and Big could have sworn he looked amused—and perhaps, proud.
"No. But good on you for asking. Alcohol wouldn't be good for you if you were dehydrated."
Big could have blamed the overwhelming sunlight for the heat that spread across his face at the softly-spoken compliment, but he knew it wasn't the source. It was Chan, so close, watching him carefully.
He couldn't return the gaze. Not with his thoughts like this.
Instead, Big turned away and sipped at the sweet, cool drink, trying to keep in mind the treatment rules for dehydration and heat exhaustion Chan had drilled into all the bodyguards' heads all those years ago. Even though the first taste made him want to chug the whole drink in one go, he made himself take small sips. The last thing he wanted was to actually throw up all over Chan.
The relief was near-immediate. He closed his eyes, breathing slowly and trying to bring his heart rate back down.
Chan didn't say anything, and didn't move, either, as Big continued to drink. Big tried not to think of how close Chan was, how intense his gaze would be if Big opened his eyes.
"Big, did you put on sunscreen?" Chan asked.
Big opened his eyes, frowning. "Yeah. Why?"
He wasn't expecting the brush of Chan's hand along his collarbone. His skin was strangely sensitive, the touch ten times more intense than usual. Not that Chan touched him much outside of the occasional adjustment of his form while they trained, or a friendly-ish clap on the shoulder sometimes.
But this was far different from those. Chan slipped his fingers under the strap of Big's tank top and slowly pulled it down over his shoulder, as if he were trying to undress Big. The tips of his fingers dragged against Big's skin, still cool from where they had held the iced drink, a small relief from the overwhelming heat.
The visual of Chan undressing him was so shocking that at first Big didn't realize what was wrong.
It was only when Chan's thumb shifted over his skin and pressed that Big snapped out of it. Sharp, electric pain lanced across his skin from where Chan had pressed and Big jerked back automatically.
"Ow, what–?"
"That's a bad burn," Chan said, letting go of Big's shirt and finally lifting his hand away.
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This may or may not be a hot take but i really dont think that the Dark Urge should ever be free of Bhall, not completely at least
They are his flesh and blood, they’re him entirely, at least before they grew a soul throughout their adventure, so at least to me the ending they got just felt kind of.. cheap? It felt sort of like a “congrats you made the moral decision! Heres your reward <3”
To clarify I like the current story for the Dark Urge, I think Larian did a great job with it, but maybe its just me but i really wish there had been some larger narrative impact for the urge, rather than it just being forgotten almost as soon as it was resolved, personally I can’t see durge being able to just leave theyre god so easily with what was basically a meaningless sacrifice (i mean sure they died but it didn’t really matter because it barely lasted a minute)
Anyway, my suggestion is for this big climax of freeing yourself from the urge to have just a bit more of a sacrifice (similar to how Shadowheart either loses her parents or spends the rest of her life with her wound, or how Astarion can either retain his soul by giving up the powers of the ascendent or he can gain that power but sacrifice who he is in the process), i mean so much of bg3 is sacrificing something for another so i wish that had carried on to durges “final” conflict
Basically i think there are multiple ways this could be done, either by showing us (the player) and the companions what durge could have by submitting to Bhall (especially since in the game it feels like theres a very strong push towards “hey dont pick this option! Its bad!”) and/or there being a larger impact after rejecting Bhall (this doesn’t even have to be in game, just a nod towards affects after the game)
For the first option i was thinking that perhaps durge rejects Bhall at first and then similar to in-game we get a second chance to accept Bhall, but this time he mentions all of the perks from submitting to him (correct me if im wrong but i believe if you submit you effectively become his chosen? There should be some cool ass new powers with that), obviously mentioning the slayer form, but perhaps also stuff such as immortality (specifically being resurrected an hour or so after death, not being unable to die) or other new abilities (if this is too op from a gameplay perspective it could always just be a “do my bidding THEN you get this stuff”) and if durge still rejects bhall then you can get the whole dying and being resurrected scene, just so theres an actually meaningful narrative sacrifice
The second option is the one im most interested in where durge’s link to Bhall is retained even after theyve been freed from his direct control, I find it hard to believe that a literal godspawn could just walk away like that so it wouldve been interesting to see a few moments of perhaps Bhall chasing after durge, maybe influencing their dreams to a minor extent, almost “speaking” to them in that sense or even having lesser instances of the urge where its not as overwhelming but perhaps the barest flicker towards murder, more like intrusive thoughts then anything that actually threatens to take over
Ive also seen an idea of durge having to make a deal with Bhall to be free of him i believe the exact post was durge having to kill every tenday else Bhall takes control back (said by @crossdressingdeath i think?) and i just LOVE this idea, imagine just that constant knowledge that you have to make a sacrifice to avoid becoming a mindless slave, and as mentioned removed that whole moral superiority aspect of durge’s ending
Please feel free to critique or share ideas!!
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#bg3 durge#the dark urge#baldurs gate durge#bg3 the dark urge#bg3 bhall#welcome to the post thats been sitting in my drafts for days and i finally got the balls to edit and post#god that was long#not sure if this post made any sense at all it was kind of all over the place lmao#durge just makes me very unwell#long post
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me again :D (this is to answer ur post cause i couldnt resist and wanted to answer ur question(s) :))
i do write actually ! privately on google docs about some of my personal ocs and once regarding logan & rorke. buuuuut i deleted it cause i felt like my writing wasn’t enough :|. i will take ur advice though! cause seriously i rlly do need to fuck around and find out with all these scenarios i have in my head. (i have MORE. but seriously ive gotten praised wayy too much regarding my writing so maybe ill start publishing works on ao3/tumblr…maayybee, im tempted.)
im also tempted to write a whole fic about that ask, bc DAMN. it was evil as shit of me but i am PROUD. sigh there was too many fluffy/cracky asks so i had to do it. (IM SORRY LMAOOO.) but now that u mention it that was kinda well plotted..huh.
but omg that bonus(?) though…i 100% see it happening cause of the relationship mama walker & logan had. (they were probably so close…he was definitely a mamas boy.) hesh seeing his little brother many years after the war with his hair past his shoulders would bring tears to his eyes, as they say hair holds memories.
i also have a couple things i forgot to add as i forgot to mention prev ask(yea…theres still angst.)
-when elias was killed, logan & hesh deff thought how he was probably with their mother now, even though how heartbreaking it sounds and is to lose the last parent in their lives.
-ever since mama walkers death, elias turns very protective(if not more) over the boys, or really anyone, when their sick in fear they have the terminal illness mama walker had.
— 🎧 anon
Oh I feel that lol, ngl even nowadays I still get nervous about posting my writing, but the thing is it makes me happy to make this stuff. My motivation to post is "My friends will love this." but my motivation to write is "I will love this." so don't feel too pressured to post via some internet guy lol.
Make sure to let me know if you write and post! Anything in general but specifically if you write based off the Mrs. Walker angst ask. I will scream with joy. (And then probably cry cus the angst.)
Had to get some angst in to offset all the Good Dad Elias vibes SOB. Gotta keep the mix even.
Mama's boy Logan destroys me. It's so evil but so good. Like hot chip. Owie... but tasty. (Random song rec: Mama's Boy by Dominic Fike. I can't take creds for connecting the song to Logan first, that goes to a moot of mine I don't know the tumblr of, sad face, but they're literally a genius.)
MORE ANGST, OUGH. They're torn up over Elias's death but they know how much he missed their mom and find solace in the thought that they're reunited. They also know they can protect each other and that their parents are both watching over them. Elias treating every cold and fever veryyyyy seriously to the point that others think it almost comically unnecessary... until the connection is made to his wife. WAHHHHHHH!!
#angst#call of duty#call of duty ghosts#elias walker#logan walker#hesh walker#task force stalker aka the ghosts#beloved anon#🎧 anon
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i think i would need to see mqfx in an entirely different light before i would believe they would enjoy being humiliated. possibly because its also just not my thing although i have thought about what must be appealing about it (the joy, the release of understanding that someone sees you as imperfect but is still interested in a relationship with you? the realization that even if someone does believe these things they're saying they still want to at the very least have sex? feel free to correct me if this isnt actually the appeal ive just come to this conclusion on my own)
ANYWAY. i think i'd have to view their squabbling in an entirely different light, like one or both of them doesn't have their heart really in it and are keeping up their side of the argument for pride's sake or! maybe everyday life behaviors have absolutely no connection whatsoever to what one enjoys sexually (<- totally possible, what do i know)
tldr im on your side the fighting might be homoerotic but perhaps not in that flavor exactly
good morning anon <3 i'm awake now (kinda) and my lawyer can't do shit to meeeeeee so let's talk about it
ok for everyone who didn't see the post i deleted, the tldr of what i said was: "i don't think any of the xianle 4 would be into degradation. hc bc he'd kill himself before being mean to xl, xl bc he wouldn't keep a straight face, and mq/fx would literally just argue. on the other hand i think if either mq or fx were somehow sincere enough to tell the other person "you are good" they'd finish too fast (crass! my lawyer disapproved!!) so. can't praise each other bc they'd both like it too much, can't insult each other bc then they'd have to pause sex for a fistfight break. sad!" <- paraphrasing but it was funnier last night
i'm not qualified to address the first thing bc i didn't take kink studies in college (we DID have one, hashtag liberal arts!! but i was busy doing REAL work pestering my old man and drinking in stats class) but that's probably true at least for some people bc everyone always has a different reason for these things. it's subversive, it's pain under control in a safe environment, it's reaffirming, it's addressing trauma, sometimes even self harm so watch out! (sex, like any action, can be detrimental if you're not careful, but that is not the action's fault)
the second thing i CAN address (points to my nametag) SO: i don't think either mq or fx are the type to do anything by halves they're both passionate (fx obviously, mq within the many layers of his artichoke* heart) so i do think every argument they have is real and not just for pride's sake. if either of them didn't wanna argue they just wouldn't and the other guy would be like "um......what's wrong w u 🤨 (concern disguised as suspicion)"
i Wouldn't say that daily life has no connection at all to kinks but that's a discussion i'm not having on my sideblog (tldr: these european fuckos have been arguing about sublimation** and libido longer than i've been alive. Scholar Charlie assumes that whatever doesn't get sublimated finds its way into one's sex life and vice versa but don't quote me on thiiiiiisss i should've taken that damn class fr)
as a sidenote: what we might find hot is not necessarily what the characters might find hot. not to lend personhood to the narrative devices (especially when fanfiction is literally the "play with them like paper dolls" genre of writing) but it's an important distinction to make as readers and writers. like do i think for example that mq's emotional repression and torment is hot? very. do you think He's enjoying it??? jury's out (though with melancholic types one Must assume they derive some relief, even if harmful, from flagellation)
back to the important matter of mqfx's hypothetical sex life: in canon they insult each other in equal measure and there's no one in that situation who is actively/consistently made to feel lower than the other (whether they actually do is incidental). it's not that their squabbles Wouldn't make it to the bed but it simply doesn't count as degradation. argument (equal) ≠ degradation (power dynamic). am i saying it's impossible for them to have ANY S/M thing going on?? also no bc as mentioned before i think mq views Everything as a power struggle, but fx also strikes me as the type of guy who would really really like getting called good boy but he doesn't know this about himself. for that matter mq would probably like some praise too he's just way more roundabout with it
this is aaaaaaallllll a very convoluted way of saying "yes the fighting is still homoerotic, not on the basis of unequal standing but because they're equals. i don't think they specifically find the insult aspect of fighting hot, and in fact some mutual kindess would be nice. would they do it that way though? idk"
ok gotta get ready for smth this took me 2 hours to think. byeeeee
*here i got distracted looking for artichoke facts bc i saw on my gramma's cooking show that it's basically a thistle and it's got a spiny center you gotta scoop out before eating. anyway it's from the mediterranean! so don't use it in canon-compliant fic lol
**death in venice is in that wiki article :( why did my ex-mutual leave meeeeeeeee (<- divorced)
#hewwo#asks#anonymous#LONG POST#new rule is i shouldn't talk while either sleepy or caffeinated. aaaaaand post
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Okay this is the funniest reason ive heard so far for hating whump lmao cut for long post and also bc i know people dont come here to read bout stupid anti-whump dumbassery i just couldn't not dunk on some fools it was too delicious
Like i could start by saying that whump is literally in every media and is usually called "conflict" or a "villain" or "character development" as that is all whump ever has been and some people simply like that part the best but i cant really bc they're specifically talking about pet whump and conditioning (missing and dismissing the majority of the community who aren't into that) as well as torture in general, and calling the community a cult
Well number one i dont even wanna go into how people seem to be way too comfortable throwing around the word cult so freely while simultaneously talking about disrespecting real abuse victims and conditioning... Like theres layers to how hypocritical that alone is but were not going into that
Number two "were the reason people get tortured irl"?? Bro have you a single braincell, genuinely. That is unironically the funniest shit ive heard yet. Imagine thinking people get hurt bc already unstable individuals took some notes from their favourite torture accounts here on Tumblr and decided to kidnap someone off the street. And not bc, yknow, theyre unstable individuals. You honestly think healthy people would just become horrible for no other reason than reading some torture fiction online. Sweet jesus. "Yea i was just gonna go about my day as normal but i read this one drabble on tumblr about someone treating another person like a dog and now i think I'd like to have a torture basement and kidnap people :)" "hey im a healthy person who hates horror and gore but after reading this one shot on Tumblr i guess ill just have to become horrible and whip someone bloody for no reason!" Do you hear how fucking stupid that sounds
Also side note but where do you think we get our ideas. Like, do you think people couldn't think on their own of ways to hurt someone if they didn't have us. Like if they just didn't read whump they'd just? never beat someone up? if they really wanted to? like it wouldn't even come to mind??? Genuinely curious about the last time you went outside and talked to another person because i guarantee youll find several people who dont regularly read whump and would still like to punch their boss in the face several times or worse unprovoked
So in any case, anon, and everyone reading this. Internet trolls exist. Stupid people exist. Sometimes they overlap, and with their alarming lack of critical thinking skills, they share their opinions about things they don't even really care about. Whump is horror. Its fictional. And its written for many "horrible just awful and wrong" reasons, including, but not limited to:
a healthy coping mechanism for actual abuse survivors (such as our lovely and brave anon right here),
bc your story should probably have some kind of conflict and not just constant fuzz with no problems ever,
maybe you find it hot (ey i dont judge youre valid too),
and bc you think villains are cool.
Horrendous right? We truly are the monsters of this world, cant you see. Look at how evil we are indulging in our completely fictional words on a screen!!!!
Sorry for the people who didn't wanna see negativity today i basically never reblog """discourse""" (if you can even call this that) but this was just hilarious to me i couldn't resist lol especially bc i see everyone taking it so seriously (not that thats a bad thing) while im sitting here giggling to myself in disbelief at how stupid it all is. Sorry if i sound like i dont take it seriously, its bc i dont take it seriously at all and find it comedy gold
any hate anons please come my way and explain why were horrible id genuinely love to hear it (non hate anons who doubt themselves suddenly for liking whump are also welcome any time, id love to chat and make you see how absolutely cringe some of these whump neg opinions are and hopefully make your worries disappear :))
Also anon you are so lovely do not let your love for something be so easily tainted by dumbfucks who dont know what they're talking about, whump (even the most gory, horrible, vile, disgusting smutty conditioned pet noncon whump drabble you can possibly find) is normal and fine and good bc it is fiction and nothing more, as well as natural and born from like minded peoples minds. Do not ever feel guilty for finding safety or happiness in something that literally doesn't even affect anyone but you. I love you.
I saw a post on someone's blog that said when we write torture and pet whump and conditioning that we're the reason real people get tortured...because people have looked to fiction for their ideas on how to torture people before so when we write it for whump it's making us bad people and it can make real people torture others with our ideas. And a couple blogs here reblogged and liked it agreeing and saying whump is a cult, and now I'm feeling guilty about liking whump when I just stopped feeling guilty. I've been through a lot of real abuse and I really like whump but with those people saying it's disrespecting victims I feel like an evil person again.
First of all, anon, please don't feel like that.
You are not evil.
People who write or like horror are not evil.
You feeling like this and reflecting on it like this makes you quite the opposite.
I write about torture and horrible things. I like whump. I do not want to see these things in real life. And I doubt you do.
The world isn't as black and white as some people think.
And you have nothing to feel guilty for.
#discourse#whump discourse#for blocking tags#esp bc i hate reblogging shit oike this as i know most people dont come here to read stupid shit#but i just had to i wouldn't be able to sleep tonight if i didn't#cult tw#smut mention#pet whump mention#conditioning mention#torture mention#feel free to redirect any and all hate anons my way id love to laugh at them#noncon mention
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aaand that last post made me realize i never uploaded pics from megacon SO here’s some of those, if you see someone (or yourself) tag ‘em! <3
#megacon#megacon 2019#megacon orlando#cosplay#convention#that terra was adorbs and her pic has the best lighting too sldflkjj#we were right in front of these huuuuge windows while the rest of these were taken in the convention hall#with that trash off-green lighting#some day i'm gonna have a good camera and i'll take some SUPER NICE pics of cosplayers instead of rushing up for one#i'll do it for free or for optional tips idc i just wanna take some cool photos#also there were these super cool g1 bee and prime cosplayers i wanted to get pics of#but last-second my mom was like HEY GO GET YOUR PIC TAKEN W I T H THEM ITS FINE ILL TAKE THE PIC FOR YOU#and being put on the spot i not only did it but look. super awkward sdfljksldfj so i wont post it#BUT THEY WERE COOL TOO IVE NEVER SEEN SUCH ELABORATE TF COSTUMES IN PERSON BEFORE#they looked really hot tbh like literally hot even in the convention hall you could overheat easily#and it was like 90* outside#i hope they had built in fans or something to keep them cool with#anyway ive only ever been to anime cons so it was SO MUCH FUN to go to a more general con#i wonder what kinda conventions are around the chicago area maybe once i get my car i'll go to more of 'em#maybe i can find a small enough one that i can actually get a table at it or something i dunno#but i haven't had that much fun since acen 2016#anime midwest is nice but its really small and doesn't have a lot of options in what to do#ive gone on like six different tangents in these tags but tldr Cool Cosplays Everyone!#liz blogs
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fic recs 2.0!
hello kings (gn) ive got significantly more fic than last time which means this is gonna be a little more organized than the last post bc it is much longer <3 categories in order are non casefic canonverse, casefic/roadtrip fic, finale fixits, endverse, non supernatural aus, and then non destiel ones. titles will be in bold for my favs! also within each category they’re in order from shortest to longest
Canonverse
I’m a tulip in a cup by godtiering (1.2k)
I worry that I never really came back from hell. I wonder why, if I got remade by heaven, I’m still the same screwed up kid that I always was.
Sometimes I worry I’m not into women at all.
"Guess not,” he looks at his shoes.
a REALLY good fic that’s basically just a look inside dean’s head during my bloody valentine do not read this looking for a fun time but please do read it
on vessels by flightsofangels (1.9k)
“You know,” Cas mutters into Dean’s bare skin. “When I was still… an angel, I used to dream that I would take you as my vessel.”
hello consumehimnatural fans!!!!! read newt’s fic right now its incredible
dean winchester is not a nicholas sparks protagonist by microcomets (1.9k)
Dean fell in love with Cas the way you fall asleep--slowly, and then all at once. Or some other hackneyed and trite bullshit. God, this is embarrassing.
dean is in LOVE. he’s also a disaster who keeps staring at cas’ hands. sigh
Stay by aeli_kindara (2.5k)
Coda to 13.06 (Tombstone). In which Castiel reckons with the aftermath of Dean's grief.
hello fellow widow arc fans <3 click here to see cas find out abt the events of advanced thanatology !
walking on a string by swordfishtrombones (2.7k)
Between the doomed offensive at the Firmament and the impending retreat from the ravaged northeast border, Castiel left camp long enough to answer one of Dean Winchester's prayers.
S6 DEAN IS A WAR WIFE. been really into early seasons deancas lately and this one is very good. god
the flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k)
Ezekiel 39:17 "you shall eat the flesh of the mighty and drink the blood of the princes of the earth."
MY GOD. anyone who saw the @autisticandroids purgatory cannibalism talk and was interested read this right now. also anyone who enjoyed nbc hannibal OR raw (2016). if romantic cannibalism is remotely aligned with your interests read this right now. god
Sam Winchester, Ally At Law by alittleduck (3.3k)
Sam was pretty sure he could read every single gay friendly guide to coming out or supporting queer family members ever written and literally none of them would even imply that arguing with gay people that they were actually just homophobic constituted as "ally behavior". However, Sam was equally sure that none of those book authors had found themselves accidentally watching their brother get pounded by an Angel of the Lord at 9 am on Tuesday, so Sam was pretty sure he might actually still have the higher ground. Now, if only Jack would stop trying to bond with Dean using gay slurs long enough for Sam to convince everyone of that, he might just be able to cobble together some remnant of sanity or, failing that, dignity.
Or, the one where Sam desperately wants to invent PFLAG but Dean won't stop teaching Jack gay slurs
JACK VOICE HEY COCKSUCKERS.
hummed low by microcomets (3.3k)
Dean pulls the Impala over at a cider barn about thirty miles out; doesn't really think about it, just sees the hokey orange lettering off the roadside and lets his hands guide the Impala off the interstate with gravel spitting under the wheels.
they get a nice day out together and dean has a gay crisis and it’s written beautifully mwah
Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi (3.9k)
In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything.
sometimes i think about this fic and it hits that at this point dean and cas would have been married for more than a year. cas my beloved...
an exploration of gender; angelic by sometimeswelose (4k)
Castiel's true form is made of electromagnetic radiation. He has spent the majority of his life, if you really want to add it all up and average the whole thing out, as a wavelength of celestial intent.
The thing about being made of light: it's light in the physics sense of the word. Castiel's waves are gamma, x-ray, micro, and radio. He's visible light too, of course, a visible light so intense that it is blinding to most humans.
hello trans cas community <3 he’s literally trans he was assigned genderless and then went hm actually i will be a man! love of my life
Some Boys are Sleeping Alone by prosopopeya (4.2k)
This isn't something that's okay, not for him, but it chases him through the years until it turns into something he can't -- doesn't want to deny.
ohhh deans tenuous relationship with his sexuality my beloved...
love. worship. consummation. consumption. by redeyedwrath (4.3k)
ConsumehimNatural (copyright marcusantonius) the Series!
These are all snapshots centered around the idea of you know. Hunger in Supernatural. Both carnal hunger and other kinds. Fics are shown in semi-chronological order but this series is generally nebulously early seasons.
for ANYONE who is a consumehimnaturual this is required reading it is INCREDIBLE and gorgeous and very visceral and i am so very obsessed with it. thank you redeyedwrath for enabling my brainrot
the reach of human sense by perilously (4.5k)
“You know what Jimmy Novak looked like. You think he was beautiful—gorgeous, hot, all of it. It’s him. Not me. This isn’t my face.”
“But,” Dean says. He doesn’t know where he’s going with it. Just that Cas’ face is right there, brows drawn together and cheekbones gleaming in the lamplight. It’s a face that’s made his heart skip probably a couple hundred beats collectively since they met.
And it used to belong to someone else.
this one is just very nice <3 cas gets uncomfortable w dean calling him attractive since dean has never seen his trueform and they work it out
Down in the River by Ias (4.7k)
Alone in Purgatory and hunted by Leviathans, Castiel finds himself praying to the one person who can't hear him.
cas i love you <3 cas alone in purgatory praying to dean bc dean is the only thing he still worships i love you so much
Creature of Habit by trinityofone (5.1k)
The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well.
written in s5 when cas was depowered and completely nails the later seasons bitchy husbands dynamic it’s very good and fun <3
sink by crackers4jenn (5.4k)
"Where to?" A 9.06 coda.
very bittersweet very well written and also canon compliant so do not go into this one looking for a happy ending but i DO recommend it it’s very good
Sensational by castiowl (6.1k)
“When I first came to earth, it was advised that we temper the senses bound to our vessels. They were a distraction, we were told. An antiquated form of experiencing existence that would hinder our ability to complete our missions, whatever that may be. My true form can better facilitate these experiences. What you would recognize as heightened senses of sight and sound, among other things.”
Or, how Dean helps Cas experience all five human senses for the first time in one night.
early seasons deancas man. i love the sound part i love dean being so worried about doing a good job with this. god. read this please
Something to Protect by Sass_Master (6.2k)
Dean’s violent reaction to being unexpectedly woken has become something of a running joke among them, but Castiel can’t help but look past it to the underlying cause. It makes him ache to think that Dean feels so unsafe, so persecuted, before he’s even fully conscious.
Secretly, Castiel has been determined to work on that, to ease Dean into awareness in a less jarring way, smooth away one of the many stresses that follow him even in sleep. Now’s as good a time as any to try.
oh to sleep more soundly in the presence of someone you love...this fic is very nice i enjoyed it a lot
all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers (7k)
“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”
Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.
“I mean it,” Dean insisted.
“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”
hello trans dean community here is 7k of trans dean having to deal with his internalized homophobia now that he’s sleeping with cas <3 it is SO good
The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k)
He takes a shower and the pressure is not especially good, but it doesn’t matter. It’s warm and he stands under the spray a long time. Human skin, he knows, constantly renews itself, shedding the dead cells of the epidermis. He wonders how long it will take until he is an entirely new person, until every cell on his surface is a new one. He looks at his hands under the water. It might take less than a month.
this might be the only post 9x03 fic on here with a happy ending actually? plenty of good melancholy leading up to it though <3 canon divergent after 9x03 though which means no 9x06 fanfiction gap but it is absolutely worth reading
till the juice runs by deathbanjo (8.4k)
Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.
hello this one is SO funny dean finally gets comfortable enough with his bisexuality to start having sex with men and it goes so very bad every time so sorry about your shitty choices beloved </3
First Date by aeli_kindara (8.9k)
“We should go on a date. You and me.”
Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.
“I’m asking you out, Cas.”
this one is very sweet i liked it a lot <3 good refreshing little fic where they just get to have a nice evening together
Entertaining Strangers by cadignan (9k)
Dean settles on to his side, lying in the bed facing Castiel. “So you had sex without me and you bit all my moves. I think I deserve to hear about it, at least. What was her name?”
op im in love with you. premise is established relationship deancas and cas mentions he did have sex before dean and not only that it was a threesome. good for him <3 this fic is cas describing the story of what led up to the threesome and what happened during it while dean interrupts regularly. incredible
the shape you take by noviembre (10k)
“What?” Dean says, fake-offended. “I’d be hot as a girl, you know I would.”
And this is when he really, really should have stopped talking. When he shouldn't have whipped back around and asked, “Cas, if I was a woman, you’d fuck me, right?”
Because if he hadn’t said that, then he wouldn’t have had to deal with this:
Cas, meeting his eyes, forehead wrinkles all smoothed out like there’s nothing to be confused about anymore. Cas with something at the corner of his mouth that might barely be called a smile.
Cas saying, calmly and without hesitation, “Yes, Dean.”
--
Dean Winchester fucks around and, with the inadvertent help of some witches, Finds Out.
dean winchester your gender is diabolical. this fic is insane and its the only thing that matters actually. dean fully convinced its normal and straight to think about being a woman so you can fuck your male friend. incredible. op im proposing to you
Sinnerman by a_good_soldier (10k)
Dean listens to Nina Simone, reads Anne Carson, and makes out with a dude (sort of).
yall want to read about dean realizing he’s in love with a man as a direct result of learning to better respect women right?
you’re fooling yourself by cowboydeanwinchester (13k)
Dean Winchester and Castiel retire from hunting to raise baby Jack. Dean struggles to allow himself the things he truly wants.
Jack is two, Castiel and Dean are idiots, and Sam's gotta solve everyone's problems.
love a married couple who doesn’t know they’re married <3 everyone say thank you sam for bullying dean
The Girlfriend Experience by rageprufrock (15k)
While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.
a classic for good fucking reason. we’ve all talked about dean thinking holding hands is too gay after having just had gay sex but my personal favorite was sam accusing dean of cheating on cas because dean bought condoms. incredible
No Kingdom To Come by domesticadventures (16k)
“We should fuck,” Dean says.
Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.
There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.
Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”
literally the only quarantine fic i’ve ever bothered to read in any fandom and completely worth it it’s SO good. they become fwb and dean has an existential crisis and he keeps bringing up meaninglessness and death during sex
Bodies by Speary (18k)
It was a secret they never acknowledged even with each other. It would change everything, end everything if either of them ever dropped the act. So they became very good at acting, at keeping up the lie that gave them what they wanted. Even if that lie involved constantly seeking out temporary, consenting female vessels, Cas would do it. He told himself it was worth it for Dean. He just hoped that he could stop wanting more, or maybe one day Dean might stop pretending that he wasn't really sleeping with Cas every time.
i don’t even have anything to add tbh if that summary did not immediately make you click we are very different this fic is incredible. god. fellas do you ever make yourself a woman so you can fuck the man you love without him having to talk about it or confront his sexuality
it’s such a mystery (the way you know me) by fleeceframe (20k)
So the man crouching in front of Castiel is named Dean. He wonders if that’s supposed to mean something to him.
“Cas must’ve got hit with something earlier. He just dropped like a sack of fucking potatoes a minute ago. By the time I was checking on him, he had already woken up again, but now he doesn’t fucking know who we are.”
“I’m right here you know,” Castiel says testily.
Sam’s eyes are wide even as his eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks between Dean and Castiel again.
“What do you remember, Cas?”
“Firstly, that I’m not Cas. I don’t know who Cas is, but it’s not me. I don’t know who either of you are, either."
or the one where castiel is hit with a memory curse that makes him forget the winchester brothers and is stunned to find out he has a family... also why can't he stop thinking about dean?
BEST amnesia fic oh my god. cas my beloved you deserve the world. everyone read this that is not a request.
More Than Ever by Sass_Master (20k)
Dean’s getting some pancakes together for breakfast when Cas saunters in after a run.
He’s trying to focus on whisking batter, unfairly distracted by Cas a few feet away, breathing heavily and shining with perspiration. Dean’s been painfully aware for a long time that Cas is pretty easy on the eyes, but he’s used to seeing Cas buttoned-up and unflappable, looking straight-laced in a stiff oxford and an unflattering trenchcoat.
Now Cas is sweating, Dean’s borrowed t-shirt clinging to his skin, flushed from exertion and Dean really can’t deal with that in his kitchen right now.
this entire series is really good i enjoyed it a lot, i’m just putting this one specifically on the list bc the rest of the series is very explicit and this is really good as a standalone for anyone who wouldn’t be into the rest of the series!!
Being Dean Winchester by Anonymous (20k)
"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in."
Who the fuck was this bitchy "warrior of God" doing talking to him like that? Fuck Cas-tee-el and his dumbass trench coat and abrasive motherfucking attitude.
Dean was done with this shit.
***
Wherein a monster of the week steals the essence of Castiel's vessel, so he must use Dean, recently raised from hell, as a vessel instead.
it is at this point i realize that there are more fics than i expected there to be on this list that involves a threesome with only two people/using the presence of a female body to act like what’s happening is heterosexual. deangirlism is a disease
I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k)
His grace is burning out, and the wasteland it leaves inside him becomes an echo chamber for all the memories, all the fear and doubt and self-loathing he's collected over the years. Things said and done hound him on endless repeat until he's convinced they’ll break through his skin and fill the silence of the bunker.
His head is killing him, and he sits hunched over an open book, not really reading, just digging his fingers into his skull and praying nothing slips through the cracks.
this one is GORGEOUS i love it so so much. dean and cas are both struggling so much to get by and they’re trying to support each other but fucking it up and they have to grow together and learn to cope with the fact that this is where their lives are and they fall in love i need everyone to read this
To Boldly Go by 8daysuntiltheapocalypseiguess (24k)
Title: Just One of Those Things Author: Impala67 Series: TOS Rating: M Summary: Four years into their five-year mission, and all the planets start to look the same.
In which Dean is not Gene Roddenberry, but he does write Star Trek fanfiction.
mx winchester writing star trek fanfiction to process his own trauma <3 this is a wip but it’s SO good and i also have not consumed a single piece of star trek media so it IS definitely readable to anyone who isn’t a star trek fan. please read this
where the weeds take root by deathbanjo (30k)
“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”
this is on here just for the 1.5 people who were putting off this one like i did for no reason. it’s extremely good and it is just gentle. i enjoyed it a lot
Heroes for Ghosts by pantheon_of_discord (42k)
After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.
Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.
yall ever wonder what it would’ve been like if the sam and dean arrest storyline in s12 was interesting? yeah <3
Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara (52k)
In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean.
(A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)
cas learning about humanity through poetry before dean and thats what led to him developing enough emotion to be lobotomized....cas i love you so much
Emergence by ellispark (58k)
Something’s been missing from Dean’s life for the past three years, a void left after a hunt gone terribly wrong. He often feels a sense of longing with no discernible cause, a need to talk to someone who isn’t there.
A call from an acquaintance leads Dean to James Novak, a man who disappeared more than a decade ago, and suddenly Dean gets the feeling he’s found what he’s been missing. But James isn’t really James — he’s the angel Castiel, who’s wanted by angels, demons and hunters alike. And he may be at the center of the storm that wrecked Dean’s life all those years ago.
another cool amnesia fic!! for unknown reasons everyone forgot cas three years ago but cas didn’t forget anything. cas deserves so much love and support. god
a turn of the earth by microcomets (95k)
Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.
Frigging fantastic.
(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)
cas getting to meet and fall in love with pre hell dean just as much as he loves the dean he already knows oh my GOD. i love this fic so much. turn of the earth my beloved
Crossing Lines by sometimeswelose (122k)
Two Deans, one Cas - it's not as sexy as it sounds
Or
An ethics lesson from Hell
Or
The one where Dean from the past meets Dean in the present. They're not sure they like each other very much.
deans intense self hatred vs cas’ unwavering love for every version of dean oh my GOD also this is a wip fair warning but it’s so worth waiting for updates i’m having such a great time with this one i cannot wait to see how it gets ended
Plot Holes by saltyfeathers (160k)
Of course it wasn’t over after the apocalypse.
There was season six. Then there was season seven. Against all expectations, there was season eight. There were the alphas and purgatory, and then the Leviathans, and then the angels fell. Enter season nine. Loose threads Metatron, Abaddon, and Crowley have to be tied up. Sam, Dean, and Cas have to try to tie them while at the same time dealing with their evolving relationships and newfound graceless states.
Amidst all the chaos, someone has started publishing the Supernatural novels again. Convinced there’s something amiss in the pages, Charlie starts her own quest to suss out the truth behind the Winchester Gospels.
With the help of various faces, old and new, they must now not only deal with the typical runs of demons and recently fallen angels, but also reconcile the battles raging inside themselves, as the fate of the world, once again, quite literally lays in the palm of their hands.
saltyfeathers said i WILL make the plot holes in this show mean something because the showrunners are sure as shit never gonna adress them ! and i thank them for it bc this was a really cool read
Casefic/Roadtrip Fic
Deprived Of Every Planet by KelpietheThundergod (9k)
Dean's breathing is audible in the scant space between them, irregular. The motel room is dark, pale blue shadows falling in through the gaps in the blinds. Throwing a pattern of uneven white stripes over the bunched up covers. Over Dean's fingers twisted in the sheets. One half of him in shadow, softened by the dark. The heat of his skin. The tremble of him under Castiel's touch.
He caresses a hand over Dean's chest, slowly. Dean's mouth falls open, his body arching into Castiel's touch. Castiel stops over Dean's heart. Through the fever of his desire, he rejoices about the wonder of experiencing another's heartbeat through one's own senses.
Dean gasps, but then he turns his face away and towards the dark. Eyes closed tight and brows furrowed like something is hurting him.
Castiel stills.
“Dean?”
the case is background on this one but it Does take place over the course of a case so im putting it here. god touchstarved dean trying so hard to work through his shit for cas head in my hands i love this fic so much
before and after breakfast by spocklee (10k)
The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.
chapter 2 of this one.....god. dean and cas you are both so unwell <3 i love everything abt this fic everyone read it now
we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon (15k)
Dean’s always known things were headed this way. He just figured getting dragged under would be cleaner and easier than jumping in feet-first.
fics that make you go Oh they love each other...also there’s lesbians in it literally what else could you want.
thunder road by dothraki_shieldmaiden (20k)
After Chuck is defeated and the Winchesters settle into life without God, Dean Winchester is bored.
OR: Dean and Cas take a road trip and figure out some stuff along the way.
this fic is just like. it’s kind! this fic is kind it’s just a pleasant experience and i enjoyed it thoroughly. they’re in love and it’s good
Suck It, Judy Garland by GlitterDwarf, midrashic (20k)
It had to be St. Louis. Or, the one where Sam and Cas get fake married for a case, and Dean loses his mind.
actually im gonna defend dean here imagine youre dean and cas gives what definitely sounded like a deathbed love confession while making eye contact with you and then immediately afterwards fake dates your brother. who among us would not have been a bitch about this
best friends without benefits by lizbobjones (20k)
It’s nearing three a.m. and they’ve been on the road a long time. Sam’s been asleep in the back seat since eleven. Giving up and handing the wheel over to Cas and letting the guy who doesn’t sleep drive had seemed like a good idea.
the premise of this fic is so funny. cas voice dean you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid. everyone read this
the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo (22k)
This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore.
alt version of getting rid of the mark of cain, the darkness never happens. this one is VERY heavy but it’s so good and it has a hopeful ending. ive read this one twice and loved it both times
Someone Who’s Feeling For Me by ellispark (45k)
Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.
Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.
Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.
hello op please contact me. please contact me and let me see the inside of your brain. this fic was an unparalleled experience and everyone should also go through it. i love it so very much
Bumper Cars by mansikka (111k)
Two teenagers are missing from an abandoned carnival, and there’s enough to raise suspicion that their disappearance involves a ghost. Dean, Sam, and Cas arrive in town to investigate, though what they find leads them away from those teenagers, and on the trail of a ghost story that churns up things from their past.
Can newly-human Cas, and Dean, with the help of shipper!Sam, work out the mystery behind the abandoned carnival and its ghost, and along the way, figure out the riddle that is them?
one of my absolute fav case fics it forces dean to confront some aspects of johns parenting and work through some shit and also him and cas fall in love and it’s really well done. love this one a lot <3
Finale Fix-its/Finale Denial
Sorry Jimmy by K_K_TiBal (2.1k)
Based on the tumblr textpost:
jellydeans: so are cas and jimmy novak just up in heaven existing at the same time katebushstandean: #jimmy moves to heaven timbuku so that dean stops trying to make out with him every time they run into each other at the heaven grocery store
this one is just extremely funny. local midwestern heterosexual man is forced to play relationship counselor to the dumbest gay people in existence because one of them wore his face
Dean Winchester Really Needs To Make Some Gay Friends by AreYouReady (2.2k)
“Like, I’m trying to think if I’ve had, I don’t know, crushes. If I ever had a gay thing before you came along and just didn’t notice,” Dean said.
Cas suddenly looked down, and away from Dean. If Dean didn’t know better, he would swear Cas looked guilty.
“What is it, Cas?”
“You have had several… gay things before.” Cas still wouldn’t look at him.
“What? When? How come you know this better than I do?”
There was no way the answer to this question wasn’t funny as hell.
dean learning about gay ppl via the memories of dean smith...incredible.
tiny difference (between ending and starting to begin) by sunforgrace (2.4k)
Sometimes Dean catches Cas staring at the sky.
It doesn’t happen often. Not when Dean’s around to tell, anyway. But often enough that he starts to notice.
Eventually Dean starts to recognize the pattern.
Cas just doesn’t watch the sky. He watches the birds.
Chuck is gone, Cas is human, and the world is safe. In the quiet aftermath Dean and Castiel find each other again.
i really don’t have much to say abt this one it is just very good and they love each other so much
Bring Home by cenotaphy (3.8k)
Dean's phone doesn't ring on the drive back to the Bunker, but that's okay. Because—well, maybe Cas lost his cell, what with getting shuffled back and forth between a cosmic void dimension and all. And anyway, Dean doesn't want this conversation to happen over the phone, he wants to—he wants to talk to Cas face-to-face. They should talk face-to-face.
Dean will tell him—
Dean doesn't know what he'll tell Cas. Dean is, in fact, terrified by how utterly and completely he does not know what he'll say to Cas.
cas being forced to face the consequences of sending the risky text that was despair <3
dean’s coworkers vs the heteronormative agenda by cowboydeanwinchester (4.1k)
Dean started working at a local auto repair shop in Lebanon, Kansas about a year ago. His coworkers don't know much about him. Except that he has a wife. Or maybe he doesn't. But he has a kid. Who is either a toddler or a high schooler. Who is either named Jack or Sammy. He also might have a best friend named Cas, but that also might be his wife.
Truth is nobody knows what to make of Dean.
obsessed w people not knowing a single fucking thing about dean because he talks so much and never explains anything. this fic is SO funny
Enhanced Extraction Techniques by goldenraeofsun (5.8k)
The Empty takes Meg’s shape, Samandriel’s, Duma’s, every one of the thousands of angels Cas killed up in heaven. But in the middle of lecturing Cas in the form of Balthazar, it explodes in a burst of light and sound.
Dean Winchester stands in the aftermath.
the empty playing mind games on an awake cas bc it can’t put him to sleep is a thing i like a lot and this is very very good
Speak Silence No More by rea_sunshine (8.1k)
When Dean imagined this moment, it went like this:
Dean bursts into the Empty—guns blazing, chin high, righteous anger coursing through him. No matter what form his plans and fantasies and whiskey-drunk-whispered-promises took, he is always, always successful. When he imagined it, he was finally the hero Cas deserved.
The reality of the moment is this:
It’s fucking cold.
dean and cas STILL managing to not communicate with each other properly after the confession is so funny to me and this fic does it really well. also i like that a human being in the empty, where humans do NOT belong, had some like. consequences
my heart is a compass by lagaudiere (10k)
“There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.
The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.
--
In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.
one of thee best dean rescues cas from the empty fics out there i love the way his memories are written i love how many of them were ones that this fic came up with to give me new things to have brainworms over instead of just making me more fixated on He Watched Him Rake Leaves than i already am
killing time by orestespdf (11k)
It's been four years since Dean saved Cas from the Empty and confessed his feelings in return, and in their Vermont lakehouse, the retired couple is now learning how to heal. One morning, Dean gives Cas a haircut.
(A character study of Castiel.)
perfect fic perfect fic no notes no complaints they love each other so much and now dean is giving cas a haircut and they’re spending the day together. god.
and every time we kiss, i swear i can fly by knameless (14k)
Every time, Dean tells himself it’s the last.
--
aka, twelve times dean and cas kiss.
a just boy best friends kiss for every season <3 mwah
for which no words exist by MediaWhore (14k)
'a prayer for which no words exist' // richard siken
"Dear Cas who art in my bathtub, give me the strength to be honest about how I feel. For your sake and for mine. Forgive me all the times I wasn’t in the past, all the words I should have said but didn’t. And please stay. Please stay with me when all is said and done. Amen. "
Dean rescues a newly human Cas from the Empty. That's the easy step.
mediawhore i am in LOVE with you oh my god this fic. this fic. dean taking care of cas after rescuing him dean wrapping cas in a blanket oh my GOD
swimming with the fish pond fish by februyuri (17k)
Some time between Dean bleeding out on a makeshift hook in a barn in Ohio and Sam making marshmallows on his funeral pyre, Dean was brought back to life. By Castiel. Again. Dean agreed to it if only to give Jack time to work out the glitches up top. So, now Dean’s back in the land of the living and things are ... actually good, for once.
Or, as good as they can be when demons are attacking Earth, Dean’s failing to get over why he died in the first place, and Cas is suddenly, inexplicably taking every opportunity to casually tell Dean that he loves him.
this is a wip! but it is so good and so worth the read i love it a lot and am very excited for the last chapter. it IS pretty heavy though dean has a LOT to work through
looking like a true survivor (feeling like a little kid) by courfeyrac (20k)
"Jack’s a clever kid—has been ever since he was born, maybe even before that—but Dean’s pretty sure he hasn’t figured out where they’re going yet. And Dean’s… Dean’s excited about it. He remembers planning surprises for Sammy when they were little—saving up quarters and sneaking off to the arcade the year he turned seven, or slipping a book Dean had seen Sammy admiring into his jacket before sprinting out of the store the year he turned twelve. There was only so much Dean could give him back then, hindered by lack of finances and transportation and a father who paid attention. Now, though, Dean’s got a wallet full of cash, a tank full of gas, and the freedom to give his kid the kind of birthday he deserves."
Or, it's Jack's fourth birthday, and the kid wants to go to Build-A-Bear.
EVERYONE READ THIS RIGHT NOW. that is not a request this fic undid me. oh my god. oh my god. they’re a family and they’re going to build a bear and they love each other. oh my god. also no it isn’t a baby jack fic he is 4 and he is also alcal
what’s missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles (27k)
It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.
~~~
"But have you ever just met someone and maybe it wasn't from the first moment, maybe it was after all these other moments that meant more than you ever expected them to, and it seems like your soul just—just—" Kaia makes a helpless gesture with her hands, pushing out, and she breathes out loudly. "Like it can finally exhale. And that person isn't guaranteed to make you happy, but they're—they're important. You just know it, you can't even escape it, you can't let them go. Ever met someone like that, Dean?"
"I—" Dean halts, his mouth hanging open. He's looking at Kaia, who's looking at him, and his heart is fluttering in his throat like a caged bird aching to soar again. His mind threatens to spiral out of control, but he focuses, swallowing hard. "Yeah. Um. I—yeah, I have."
deancas AND dreamhunter we love to see it also dean DOES smoke weed with kaia and apologizes for pulling a gun on her what more could you want in a fic
Command Me To Be Well by prospopeya (28k)
Dean did a lot of thinking about when and how he would get Cas back. Months of it, actually, stretching into a year, because while Sam and Eileen were settling into their new lives, Dean was stuck. He was stuck in a faraway corner of the bunker, dark and empty and hollow, ringing with the sound of a vibrating phone.
So when he falls to his knees in that same room, exhausted, hurting, breathless, and he feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see Cas, he realizes that he doesn't have a single clue about what to do now. Getting Cas out had been easy--actually, it'd been the opposite of that--but the planning of it, the methodical desperation of one attempt after the other had been a familiar rhythm. It'd been soothing almost, solid, something to focus on that wasn't Cas's eyes, watery and jubilant in a way Dean hadn't ever seen that up close on anyone, let alone Cas.
And now Cas is pulling him to his feet, and Dean's stumbling, and he instinctually grabs Cas's arm, and his hand lights up with a fire that he isn't prepared for.
"Hello, Dean."
oh post despair lack of communication....oh dean refusing to work through his feelings...this fic is incredible i love it everyone who enjoys dean doing everything in his power to avoid talking about feelings up to and including having sex with the guy who’s in love with him multiple times should read this
break the skin (to break the barriers) by sobsicles (29k)
The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment.
SOBSICLES TATTOO FIC MY BELOVED. dean grieving and getting tattoos and it turns into tattoo therapy. im SO in love with mitzi it’s insane. requires some suspension of disbelief for how long a tattoo takes but it’s an incredible fic and an unparalleled experience. sobsicles does not miss
ascend by quiettewandering (53k)
Something in the world is wrong.
Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.
But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.
Or can it?
SUPER cool concept i liked this a lot i’m pretty sure everyone’s read it already but just in case someone hasn’t you absolutely should
oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith by sobsicles (62k)
Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't.
~~~
"You don't understand," Dean whispers, exhaling shakily. "I know you don't, because even I don't. The instant you were gone, I wanted you back. Cas, I wanted you back. I wanted—I wanted—"
Cas stares at him, searching his face. After a moment, his own face falls slack, eyes widening just so. "Oh," he breathes out.
Dean wants to be furious that Cas has figured it out before he has—whatever it is—but he's not even that surprised. Cas knows him too well, always has, even more than Dean knows himself. He's been kicking Dean in the goddamn teeth with how deeply he understands him, even about the things Dean doesn't, ever since they first met. You don't think you deserve to be saved, that's what Cas had said. All bundled up in impossibilities and power, this being that looked at Dean Winchester and knew every single inch of him, as if he had a right to each part.
"What?" Dean grits out.
"I love you, too."
the ONLY heaven fic. i do not read heaven fics bc i refuse to budge in my finale denialism i refuse to read fic where it is accepted that dean dies. i was hesitant to read this but god im glad i did it was so good. literally the best possible outcome of dean dying
Endverse
final fantasy. by orange_crushed (1.9k)
“If I’d actually been born human, would I have gotten sick like everyone else? Would I be running around gnawing on the neighbors?” Castiel tilts his head up and even from here Dean can see the black ring of his pupils, wide and dark as dead stars. He’s high as fuck and he’s been loading the guns for forty-five minutes. He stares into the space where Dean is. He smiles and shows his teeth. “Maybe you’d have already put a bullet in my head.”
"This is why you don’t lead storytime anymore," Dean says. "This kind of shit."
endverse last night on earth fics are something that can be so personal actually. god
The Last Song by Moorishflower (3.5k)
The very last song is the Song of Solomon, and Castiel sings it only for Dean. Set in "The End."
this is like. pre endverse and the tone is so like. wistful? is the best word ive got? it’s gorgeous i love it but fair warning there is graphic description of like. viscera and infected wounds
to think that we could stay the same by cipherwriter (6.5k)
cas has all he needs; himself, his creation, and enough power to continue this cycle for a long time. he's fine. dean wants to take care of him anyway.
oh my GOD this one is good it’s based off the thing of how originally endverse cas was supposed to be just sitting in a room killing and resurrecting the same cockroach over and over. very bittersweet at some points i love it a lot, do not read it if youre looking for something happy though lmao
the first church at the end of the world by withbloodstainedclothingon (11k)
The angels don’t eat the brain. Only Croats do that.
this one is fucked but it’s incredible it contains very heavy and violent subject matter and cas is an Actual cult leader he doesn’t just have orgies it is SO well done and i had a great time reading it i recommend it very highly if the warnings sound like something you can stomach
Down to Agincourt by seperis (1.1 million. i know. yes it’s a wip)
There is no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to war.
The outcome's known. Why try? Return your rusty sword to battered sheath, bow your head and bend your stubborn knee. Why take the field when you cannot win the war? But Harry -- he went down to Agincourt.
PLEASE. i know the length is intimidating i KNOW it’s a very long fic but please. please read down to agincourt i am begging you. head in my HANDS this series is incredible.
Non Supernatural AUS
Long-Term Relationship by bendingsignpost (2.7k)
Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”
Reflexively, Dean laughs.
Castiel does not.
“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”
look man it’s bendingsignpost okay. it’s bendingsignpost it’s good and it’s sweet and you should read it
One White Lie by komodobits (11k)
Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.
He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”
do you ever pretend to be a jehovahs witness for months to hang out with the guy you like because you fucked up asking him out? yeah.
separate ways and sleeping dogs by sobsicles (53k)
Dean is three years sober when Cas comes back into town.
~~~
For a moment, they just stare at each other. Dean, once again, has to swallow the urge to offer to swallow something else. It's very hard to resist the gut-wrenching pull of want that hooks in his chest whenever he looks at Cas. And to think, he used to have him, used to be able to act on that want.
God, he's so fucking stupid.
Well, there's no point in kicking himself three years later for shit he can't change. He'll just sit right here and pretend that his fingers aren't twitching with the urge to reach out and touch. He can't do that anymore, and it's his own damn fault.
"Three years ago," Cas prompts.
Dean huffs a weak laugh. "Yeah. Eventful."
this fic hit me SO hard emotionally oh my god. don’t have much to say bc most of my thoughts on this fic are very personal but my god read this please
Everyone’s a Critic by Englandwouldfall (109k)
The one where uninspired chef Dean Winchester has a one night stand with the male (!) food critic who described the flavour of his garlic bread as 'closeted' and accidentally ends up dating him to try and prove that he's a kick ass chef, thank you very much.
(He may have a point about the 'closeted' thing).
this one is SO fun. dating the food critic who called your garlic bread closeted and lying about your career because you’re embarrassed and you want to redeem your food in his eyes but then you fall in love with him
Non Destiel Centric
gender? you mean that thing i have that pisses people off? by bigender dean winchester (homosexualitie) (946 words)
sam and dean paint each other's nails and dean abuses the technicalities of her gender. what more could you want?
HELLO HE/SHE DEAN COMMUNITY oh my god the pure rush of euphoria reading this. oh my god. oh my god.
the quiet road to a distant city by rottingbrains (1.2k)
Sam stares out the windshield again. They’re approaching a city, and she can see the lights in the distance. She’s past the danger zone, and she feels like the world around her reflects that in some way she can’t put into words- as if God is telling her that it’s okay. She did the right thing, and soon she will be past the lonely unknown and into the warm, forgiving light of acceptance. Or something. Come to think of it, the lights only look warm from far away, and she knows that the actual city will seem far less welcoming. Still. Best not to imagine the worst when it’s already going well.
required reading for transfem lesbian sam fans. fics that live in your ribcage to make your heart feel good
Four People Ruby Seduced & One She Actually Fell For (Or: Ruby's Epic Love Affair with Humanity in General and Sam in Specific) by tuesday (3.7k)
In which Ruby has a lot of sex, is not any kind of therapist that would be legal, and helps a few people out for her own reasons. (S4/S5 AU)
for everyone out there who enjoys ruby being a girlboss <3
Fractured Link by Trell (orphan_account) (5.5k)
Meg goes on, resolute despite the way Dean flinches, "He likes me. He likes me a lot, and I like him back, and that's probably good enough for both of us. But fuck me for saying so, Dean-o, he loves you, probably more than anything else on his daddy's green Earth, and you need to man up and give back what Clarence over there has been devoting to you for years."
this is meg/dean/cas which is not smth i really seek out but this was extremely good. set in s7 so it’s meg and dean and honey cas and it’s a lot of dean figuring his shit out and trying to forgive cas and i love meg a lot in this
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a nurses job
— Bakugou breaks his arms and as a nurse, you have the responsibility to make sure that he is comfortable, even when he needs to use the bathroom.
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pairing: pro hero!bakugou katsuki x nurse fem!reader
warnings: smut, 18+, prohero!bakugou, golden showers/water sports/piss kink, degradation (giving), dirty talk, lusting/pining, handjobs
word count: 5,050
a/n: so, I was going to make this a piss in ur mouth and pussy type of fic, but I kept seeing all those beautiful bakugou piss arts where he’s with a nurse.... so this is inspired and brought upon by all the water sports bakugou x nurse art ive seen for three months.
kinktober day 21 main kink: piss | kinktober masterlist
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You’re not quite sure what persuaded you into wanting to become a nurse as a child.
Maybe it was because your quirk (when you hum at an A flat, everyone within 5 meters experiences accelerated healing properties) was useless for Pro Hero work, so you realized early on that being a Pro Hero was a distant dream. Maybe it was because medical staff were still hailed as everyday heroes despite being in a world with people who could perform extraordinary achievements. It started as a small obsession to prove to the soon to be jobless, dream broken, and graduated failures of the hero course high schools that you had done more than them. That you, unlike them, were recognized as a hero.
You were decent with math and science, so you strove for medical school. But with the horrendous costs of schooling, your then living situation, and your dislike of unneeded and unwanted competitive stress, you deterred toward the nursing pathway. It was a pathway where you really found yourself, or at least, you thought so.
Empathy, emotion, and the need to see people come out of a hospital better than when they entered was something that grew on you quickly and obviously. Your earliest clinical rounds often left you with swollen, tired feet from walking around for restless hours, but with a smile on your face that was irreplicable. With every semester in school, you got better, connected better with your patients. Your feet still ache after long shifts, and sometimes your smile is hollow and broken, and if you look closely, you could see dried tears and puffy eyelids, but you wouldn’t ever regret this decision to become a nurse.
At twenty-five, newly graduated from nursing school, already working full time at the best hospital in Japan, while studying for your degree to eventually become a nurse practitioner. You loved your job quite a lot. They had placed you immediately within their Post-OP, ICU, and recovery wings, and even though you were somewhat new, you were celebrating a year of working in a few weeks, you already had some… more than familiar faces.
“Well, Ground Zero-san, I guess you owe me a drink because unless my eyes are deceiving me, it looks like both your arms are broken, no?” you hum, your grin bright and wide, not even attempting to hide it’s glee as your high profile patient sat seething on the hospital bed. “It’s been, what? Two weeks since you last showed up here? You getting old?”
“Oh, would you shut the fuck up, you shitty ass nurse?!” Bakugou snarled, his arms obviously trying to tense and move against the large casts that envelope him. “The fuck would you expect to happen when facing off with a quirk that’s specifically meant to break people’s arms?!”
“Deku didn’t break any arms,” you point out with a soft laugh, eyes still scanning and reading through his charts to check his medical needs and medicine prescribed by the attending and when he should be taking them. “A bit weird that only half of the Wonder Duo was indescribably injured, no?”
A loud snarl ripped from Bakugou’s throat, and you stifled your own laughter as you raised your eyesight to look him straight in his raging eyes.
“I took that damn nerds hits because he’s broken his arms so many fucking times he’ll be forced to amputate them if he breaks them again!” Bakugou’s eyes were near white in his anger, but the intensity of his emotions was heavily diminished by the fact that his arms were strapped to his chest in thick, round bandages.
“You can admit you care for him,” you chide, ignoring his ‘like hell I do!’ Placing the chart down and walking to his IV drip, you checked to see if anything he was hooked to required any changes or whatnot. “Besides, this is not the first time I’ve seen you in here! It was quite surprising to see Ground Zero on bedrest on my first ever shift here.”
That much was true.
You had been working at Tokyo Hospital for nearly nine months now. Within the nine months, you saw a lot of heroes; that much was true. Your quirk was versatile as a nurse, and you were bright, young, very good at your job, and definitely a beautiful individual. So, when you were assigned to be working most of your days healing heroes because they were the backbone of the country, it didn’t quite catch you by surprise. It was a common assignment you had as a nursing student too.
You just didn’t expect the head nurse of the floor to assign one of your five rooms to be holding none other than Ground Zero, a.k.a Bakugou Katsuki.
Of course, you weren’t an idiot. You had known about the explosion hero since high school! You had sat in front of your TV in high school, attempting to do your homework while watching the rather intensive first-year battles. He had done well in every stage, placing within the top three each time and even winning the game! You had cringed at the awards ceremony but had been horrified at the news of his kidnapping.
But after that, with the rising tensions of the villain world upon the dying world left behind by All Might, you had forgotten him for a moment. As time went on, and finally, a new support system was brought forth, Ground Zero, much like his quirk entailed, exploded onto the scene alongside Deku and a few other young heroes.
So, sure, you expected to maybe one day run into the ash-blond hero, but you didn’t expect it to happen on day one.
All things considered, the two of you got along rather well.
His... strong personality did make you wary of him at first, taking his near verbal barrage until you, very flusteredly he will argue, told him to ‘shut up, you butthole!’
You were horrified at your lack of professionalism, and Bakugou had gone silent as he stared at you in silence.
“Did you just call me a butthole?” he echoed, his face full of emotions you could not read. You felt on the verge of panicking, unsure if he was going to potentially tell on you! The sounds of a barking laughter rang in your ear, and you looked up to see his grinning, much more relaxed form. “Are you some shitty preschooler?!”
Thus began a working relationship of sorts between you and Bakugou.
He was an asshole, and you tried your best to not let him talk you off a cliff. It didn’t take very long for you to find out what made him tick surprisingly enough, and you used that to your advantage. The best way to tease him right now was by reminding him that he had been hospitalized more times than Deku, who apparently had held the record for the number of hospitalizations between him and his friends.
“Are you going to mention that shit first meeting every time we talk?!” Bakugou barked, his eyes narrowed as he turned his head away from you.
“After you admit you care deeply for all your friends!” you chirp back, stepping away from his IV drip, satisfied by what you saw. “Well, you look good for now. I’ll be checking up on you every ten to fifteen minutes since you can’t press the button until we can get those casts off! Did ya need anything before I go check on my other patients?”
“Open the damn window; it’s stuffy in here,” Bakugou grumbled, his face finally facing you again.
“Of course,” you smile cheekily, your eyes squinting with your broad grin. “It’s a nurse's job to make their patients comfortable and happy!”
Standing at the side of the bed, you stretched over Bakugou to grab the edge of the window and slide it open. Through your stance, you were entirely aware of how this looked, how this felt. Your breasts centimeters from Bakugou’s face, your eyes never once breaking from the window to feign your innocence as you finally pull away. Even with scrubs on, you could feel his hot, sharp breathes expelling through your clothes, his ears tinging just the smallest bit red as you smile.
“Anything else?” you asked sweetly, failing to hide your impish grin.
“Put the water cup close by,” he grunted, eyes staring at the liter of water at his side table. Well, he wouldn’t be able to use his arms until just before he was set to be discharged, so moving the water closer was a good idea.
Nodding, you grabbed a nearby cup, filling it three-quarters of a way full before placing it onto the feeding table and dragging it near his mouth, a bendy straw already secured into the cup. You watched as he shot forward, putting the plastic straw into his mouth and beginning to drink the cold water. His eyes were back on yours, deceivingly cold had you already not been an expert on his personality.
With one final soft chuckle, you waved at Bakugou as you headed out, a cheerful smile on your face as he continued to drink his water.
“See ya in a few!”
Well, you guess there was one more important detail about your relationship with Bakugou Katsuki. For the past five months, you have been doing everything in your power to seduce him — to get him to admit that he wanted you too.
You knew the ethics and the morals behind falling for a patient of yours, much less a high profile patient at that. You knew that if your little crush was ever found out, you would most definitely be moved from his room. You were also damningly aware that you should have brought up your initial feelings for the explosion hero to your admin the moment it arose. But the thought and the way you were always so happy to be around him eventually overruled your logic. Five months ago, you had stayed at the hospital until nearly three am, talking with a severely concussed Bakugou. You were stationed for an overnight round with the task of making sure that he didn’t fall asleep. And for the first time in your time knowing Bakugou, the two of you somehow clicked into place, and when he was discharged the next morning — the nurse who had a quirk to rid of concussions finally arriving — he had thanked you.
It was so benign, so incredibly simple, yet the way the golden sunshine illuminated his blond hair and made his red eyes shine like a ruby, you found your own tired body feeling heated and warm. He wasn’t such a lousy conversationalist, and you had already enjoyed all your interactions together, yet it still caught you off guard to feel your heart pounding in your throat as he pulled on his jacket and left.
So after coming to terms with your sudden infatuation for the stubborn hero, you began to express your desires and feelings for him without having to say it. For all that he was worth and all that he expressed himself to be extremely observant, Bakugou Katsuki still had no idea that you liked him.
Unfortunately, your scrub nurse uniform wasn’t precisely seductive. The light blue of the breathable, sterile uniform was about as unsexy as uniforms got. But that never stopped you from leaning in too close when doing what Bakugou demanded of you. It didn’t prevent you from accidentally dropping papers in front of him and bending over to show off the curves of your ass.
There had never been a time such as this one where you hated that the old, ‘sexy’ nurse outfits were no longer up to standard and banned from use. How you would have loved to be wearing gartered held stockings just to accidentally flash to Bakugou. But, you suppose that it’s alright. Even though your feelings and ambitions to get the Pro Hero to like you as much as you did him, you never tried to push it.
For now, you were just an asshole tease.
You carried out the rest of your rounds in peace, your pager sitting comfortably in your pocket, unused, unneeded for now. The rest of your four patients were doing well for now.
One was asleep, most likely due to the medicine coursing through his veins, but his vitals remained unchanged.
Another was in the process of getting ready to be discharged, her family there to help her in leaving.
The third was eating his dinner, eyes concentrated on a poker game on the TV as he asked you to help fluff his pillow.
The last was busy with a physical therapist, her forehead slick with sweat as she attempted to sit up from her chair.
All in all, they were all doing fine, and you were back to the beginning, back to Bakugou’s room.
You entered his closed room door to be greeted by an empty bed. Your eyes widened immediately, the initial wave of pure horror flashing through you that by some freak accident, some murderous villain had kidnapped the injured hero straight from the hospital bed.
“Ground Zero-san?!” you called out, a pitched voice of concern frilling your voice as you stumbled through the room. Your eyes were frantically searching the room, fingers feeling the lingering warmth of his body on the bed and your eyes noticing the empty water cup on his table still. The sheets of his bed haphazardly thrown off as if in a struggle.
Your fingers wound around the panic button, your ears straining to hear any sort of sign of Bakugou still being here.
A gritted teeth snarl was muffled from the attached bathroom, and you froze, unable to move as you felt the untouched button in your hands turn as light as a feather. You approached the bathroom door with soft footsteps, the smile on your face, unable to be stopped as you pulled the door open.
The sight you happened upon was something that made your lips curl into a wider smirk as the hospital clothed-clad hero absolutely struggled with his lack of functioning hands and arms to pull down his pants. Something he couldn’t do himself because the socks and slippers on his feet kept him from even attempting to tug his pants off with his toes.
In his struggle, undoubtedly miserable attempt to get his pants and underwear off his waist, Bakugou seemed ignorant to your arrival. His back still towards you, his head tilted down in his struggle as he twisted and pulled at practically nothing.
And as you watched him struggle, you couldn’t help but let your eyes drink in his form that stood tall before you. Most occurrences where you found yourself face to face with Bakugou, he was always tucked in a bed (except that time you realized your feeling for him), whether it was because he needed to be or because he was forced to be. So seeing him in his full height, seeing how despite your size, you were still only at his shoulder, made your eyelashes flutter.
He was tall, so deliciously tall, you wanted to climb onto a chair to see if he would be taller even with that added height. And oh how the flimsy material of his hospital outfit was stretched then against the taut muscles of his back. They flexed and shifted with his aggravation, and the only thought on your mind was to rake your fingers against the tempting muscle and skin.
“Shitty. fucking. villain!” he hissed angrily, sweat trickling down the back of his neck as he still struggled to do what nature called him for.
But you couldn’t help it; the flexing muscles of his back, the lower tenor of his voice, and the way he seemed ridiculously larger than life at the moment tipped your restraint over. Your ability to hold back crashing through you like a tsunami wave, drowning you until you found your hand tethered to the tight spot at the center of his spine, your hushed words drifting to his ear like sweet, warm honey.
“You need any help here, Ground Zero-san?” you asked, your voice just loud enough to have your hot breath fanning against his sweaty exposed neck. You could feel him twitch in your hold, his body stiffening as he whipped his head around to look at you, red eyes wild, wide, and dark.
“Don’t ya know how to fucking knock?!” he snapped, his body flushed at being caught in the bathroom, unable to shed his clothes. He doesn’t move from your touch, and that small detail makes you warm, knowing that he wasn’t entirely repulsed by your touch.
“You were missing from your bed, and I called your name,” you smile despite his angry glare. “I know you are susceptible to hear loss, but I thought you were still in the clear.”
“I ain’t fucking deaf,” Bakugou growled, his face twisted with a frown. “And that still doesn’t explain why the hell you’re here!”
“Oh, were you not just completely struggling earlier?” you feign shock, the grin on your face unstoppable at the embarrassed scowl that sets on his face. You step even closer to him so that your torso is perpendicular to his side. Your hand still gently touching his muscled back, and your free hand gently pressing to his own abdomen, the feeling of his flexed muscles, making you dizzy as you peer down at the white toilet. “Is there a villain in the toilet? I didn’t think that was possible!”
“Of fucking course not, there’s not a shitty villain in the toilet.” Bakugou flushed, his body entirely trapped by you, but he made no play to escape.
“Oh, so did you need help?”
Bakugou stares at you, his mind whirling a kilometer a second as he contemplates his next course of action. The both of you know he needs help, and still, the both of you are aware that his ability to ask of that from you is slim to none given he couldn’t even wait for you to return to his room.
“Tch,” he clicks his tongue angrily, annoyed, completely fed up. His eyes rolling to the ceiling, refusing to acknowledge you as his head nods once. “Help me, shitass nurse.”
“Of course!” you chirp, your eyes finding his hooded ones.
You give him one last warm, sweet smile before the hand on his torso lightly drags down his stomach, soft in its unashamed way of feeling him up. Your head tilted as your fingers hooked into the tight waistband of his pants and pulled it down, the heat of your palm accidentally dragging itself over the imprint of his cock behind his boxers.
The slight, flustered choking noise at the back of his throat didn’t go ignored by you, but rather but aside for later. Your eyes flashing up to see his red eyes wide, his cheeks so lightly dusted with pink as you managed to pull down his boxers too.
“There!” you exclaim, your eyes closing in your grin before you turn your attention back down to his exposed dick.
Immediately, you had to hold back a noise of pure want and lust at the sight of him. He was long, undoubtedly eight inches, definitely more. Although you couldn’t tell how thick, you knew his dick would fill your palm without a struggle. The trimmed, dark blond pubes and the protruding veins are what did it for you, your tongue poking out for a millisecond to wet your lips as you stared at his dark pink head.
“Stop staring at it!” Bakugou hissed, clearly embarrassed if the slight voice crack said anything about it.
You looked back up at him, fake confusion swimming in your eyes as you tilted your head. “It’s only a penis. I see millions of these all the time.”
“Yeah, but it’s fucking weird!”
A soft laugh escaped your lips, your eyes rolling softly as you sighed in retreat, “Fine, fine, let's pee big boy and get you in bed.”
With your dominant hand, you grabbed his dick with a soft grip, pleasure simmering through you at the confirmation of the thick dick in your palm. But it seemed you weren’t the only one who thought that for the moment you tried to steer his dick toward the toilet to assist in aim, Bakugou hissed loudly. His flesh twitching to life in your warm, soft hand as it began to grow upward.
You didn’t say anything; your jaw remained as tight and closed as your vocal box despite the egging need to tease him and celebrate his apparent approval of your touch. So, eventually, in a voice that defied the nervous energy coursing through your veins, you asked: “Didn’t you need to pee?”
Bakugou let out a throaty, guttural groan, his anger hissing between his teeth as his dick twitched again in your hold, growing longer and harder still.
“I can’t take a damn piss with a hard-on, you idiot!” he roared despite the strawberry red blush on his cheeks. You admired the way he was still fighting for control of an upper hand here despite — clearly — not having any.
“Oh, haha! Silly me!” you laugh, your hand shifting against his length, your warm palm getting closer to the base of his cock.
“W-What are you doing?!” Bakugou spluttered, your soft butterfly touches sending him through a loop he clearly wasn’t expecting. “You could just wait for it to die!”
“It’s a nurse's job to make their patients comfortable and happy,” you repeat your words, your hold on his dick growing firmer and harder just as his cock continued to do. “You clearly need to pee, and there’s no telling when your cock will go down.”
“I’LL MAKE IT GO DOWN!” Bakugou yells, but the usual sharpness to his tone has deflated, diminished to nothing but whining embarrassed yell. You look up at his clenched jaw and how a pretty pink glows on his cheeks, and you’re mesmerized.
Looking back down at his growing cock that warms your hand immensely, you hum, slightly twisting your hand around his length. Bakugou shudders, a whine hidden in his throat as you open your own mouth.
“Do you want me to stop?” you question, your eyes fluttering up to look at his clouded red ones. “Do you not need or want me?”
That was a double-headed question if Bakugou ever heard one. He looked at your glossy lips, the way they were pouted, so ready to be kissed, to be claimed, and that delirious look of want and need in your eyes. And he knows better; he knows that this is not the place, not the time to act on emotions like this. The need to pee sits heavily on his lower belly, just like the need to cum makes him twitch and pace uncomfortably. God fucking damn his broken to smithereens arms.
But you already know this, of course, you do. But you also know how stubborn he can be, how anal he can be about the littlest thing. So with no answer, you weaken your grip, making him think that you’re ready to leave, and he falls right into the trap.
“Make it fucking q-quick,” his voice cracks, the embarrassment nearly tangible as you nod your head firmly, your fist tightening around his cock.
Your warm fingers pressed onto his length, beginning at a slow leisurely pace, your eyes glued onto his face, detailing how he reacts to every small flick of your wrist, every little difference of grip in his hands. Your strokes began to grow larger, your fingertips tracing the bulging veins on his cock, your eyes hypnotized by the way his face pinches in his pleasure, the blush on his cheeks, the way the hot pants expelling from his mouth curl warmly in your lower belly.
“Y-You do this with all your shitty patients?” Bakugou growls, but it sounds weak, too blurred and slurred with his increasing pleasure.
Your fingernails drag against the underneath of his cock, tracing the incredibly sensitive skin until he’s slowly thrusting his hips into your fist. “Only the hot ones,” you tease, your thumb pressing against the tip of his beading tip, the warm pre-cum slick and spreading quickly against his flushed tip.
“You’re fucking disgusting,” Bakugou continues, his head tipping backward, exposing the slenderness of his neck that begs for your teeth to sink into. “Just needed to take a fucking piss.”
“Nervous, you’ll pee all over me, and I won’t want to suck your dick?” you ask, your fingers brushing near his scrotum, eyes blazing dangerously at the sight of his gasping, jaw-dropping face. His hips rut forward, leaking cock dripping with his pre-cum, and you giggle softly, fisting him faster, spreading the pre-cum against his heated sex.
Your fingers run against his throbbing length, your palm tight and hot against his cock, the veins you drag across searing against your flesh, ingraining itself onto your skin and memory forever. Despite it all, the obvious near tangible horror Bakugou has on the thought of pissing on you, he continues to fuck into your fist.
“Damn bitch like you would probably l-like it if I pissed on you,” Bakugou pants, his casted arms twitching at his chest. His head tilted away from you, but his eyes burning into you, the red eyes hot as fire against your skin. “You want me to piss on you? Make you my bitch.”
The words burn against your skin, your teeth biting onto your lower lip as you meet his gaze. You’ve never considered it before, never thought you’d be into it. As a nurse, you’ve been around piss, shit, and vomit, and while you had grown unfazed by it, you never considered the prospect of a man pissing on you. But you thought of it, of Bakugou standing above you, free from his casts, hands on his cock as he smirks down at you with golden liquid spraying from his cock, soaking you where you lay.
You shudder, pleasant chills running down your spine as you stare into his eyes yet again.
“And if I do?” you ask, fingers rolling the head of his cock between your forefinger and thumb, relishing in the way that he snarls low in his throat. “What’re you gonna do about that, Ground Zero-san? You gonna piss all over your bitch after you get out of here.”
“You want me to piss on you here?” he asks, his voice snappish, strained, his hips drilling harder into your hand that was quickly speeding up. A battle of power and speed between the both of you as he looms over you, face flushed, pink, and lips demanding to be kissed. “Wouldn’t be surprised if you do.”
“Why’s that?” you breathe, his lips tantalizingly close to yours, a breath away as your hand grips and tightens even more around the base of his cock, causing a pained-pleasured hiss to rip from behind his teeth as he looks at you.
“Don’t act like your shitty ass hasn’t been trying to seduce me every time I show up,” Bakugou gruffs, his hips continuing a drilling rhythm into your fist, his body no longer shy or embarrassed.
“So you noticed but never said anything?” you counter, your fingers shifting over to his swollen, hot balls. You fondle them, tugging at their weight gently, taking in the way his eyes roll to the back of his head and the way his teeth tear into his lip. “Coward.”
“Hah?! Who the fuck—”
You can’t help yourself anymore, your mouth coming to slam against his in a piercing, searing kiss. He moans into the kiss, and you gasp back, tongues clashing together, teeth knocking into each other as awkward, nearing uncomfortable kisses are exchanged. His sweet scent of caramel wafts into your nose, and his grunts and groans are addicting, entirely enthusiastic noises that send your own thighs clenching shut to quiet the heated need in between your thighs.
Your hand increases in its speed, his whines and groans so pretty and piercing into you.
“How fucking gross,” you laugh into his mouth, the slicked heat of his precum lathering your palm until soft noises of your fisting hand begin to fill the sterile bathroom. “You’re a child, wanting to piss on things that you shouldn’t. You came to the bathroom and got a hard-on instead of pissing, Bakugou, aren’t you embarrassed.”
“Y-Y/l/n,” he hissed, his jaw falling slack against your mouth. His hips are drilling into you faster and faster, the throbbing of his cock, the growing, thick scent of his caramel sweat filling the room and your senses. “F-Fuck!”
“Such a dirty, childish pro hero,” you smile your tongue curling into his mouth and dragging against the roof of his mouth as he shudders helplessly against you. “Cum already, Bakugou, cum and piss over yourself like some small brat.”
He shudders, and you find your mouth leaving his own as you stare down, spurting white ropes of cum pour from his tip, completely covering the toilet seat with his sticky white cum. And you watch as soon as his body collapses onto you, entirely spent from the orgasm, yellow piss streaming from his tip.
The toilet fills with his cum and piss, and you grin once his balls and bladder are completely drained. His cock limp and weak in your hand as you hum, your quirk activating and causing the exhausted Pro Hero to recompose himself so that he wasn’t entirely weak against you.
“Such a good patient,” you coo, pulling up Bakugou’s boxers and hospital pants without a second's thought. Patting his butt gently, you watched as his still exhausted red eyes stared at you. You walked over to the sink, washing your hands so that you could continue to finish the rest of your shift.
“Don’t think this is over, shitty nurse.”
You look at him over your shoulder, your fingers curling under the warm water as you grin.
“I expect to be fucked and pissed on next time,” you counter, your smirk devastating and sending a fire right back to Bakugou’s groin. “No freebies anymore.”
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Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]
So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.
Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad
Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.
STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.
IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!
The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.
STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.
Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him
So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.
NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT
The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable
Those husky animation models suck lmao
Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!
God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it
Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that
But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????
Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden
This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh
Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)
THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much
Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)
Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens
On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending
Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other
YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).
Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last
Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!
Oh never mind slavery trollmarket
Bruh titanic camelot
I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things
NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH
STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE
WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER
THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN
WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?
Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person
For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues
Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy
Bruh I was grieving
PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference
Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?
NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS
Oh thank God he's okay
NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD
oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))
But I want to see him again
But I'm glad to see vex
Yay they're in arcadia!
But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((
Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)
Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them
Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus
DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE
Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.
BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.
Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.
Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???
And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole
And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!
THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!
BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????
Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭
Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora
HUZZAH
NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????
STAB THAT BITCH JIM
WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED
Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it
SEVEN KIDS?????????
T O B Y ????????????
W A I T NO
N O
IS HE ACTUALLY
OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE
NO THERE ISN'T
F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED
Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS
I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH
W A I T
HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????
HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????
WAIT IS HE
BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON
HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????
BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending
TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all
And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.
#tales of arcadia#rise of the titans#trollhunters#rott#rise of the titans spoilers#rott spoilers#toa#3 below#athena's own original post!#jim lake jr#claire nuñez#toby domzalski
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.avi
Word Count: 1.2k
Warning/s: nsfw! (literally) stalkerish themes. dark!bucky x dark-ish!reader. cybercrimes being committed. f & m masturbation. sex toy (vibrator mention). this is kinda meta, tbh.
A/N: the long-awaited part two of .exe mwahaha. we're delving not-that-deep into bucky's little thingy methinks. as always, reblogs and comments are welcomed! <3
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ii - .avi
iii - .raw
iv - .png
v - .zip
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Jesus Christ, you’re insatiable.
Bucky barely woke up when he caught you masturbating with a rabbit vibrator on your bed—laying on your stomach. The towel you thoughtfully laid on was folded halfway. He assumes that you’re a squirmer too when you come. The Friday night show was his favorite though, shame that he didn’t get any footage of it.
His dick is already hard but he’s got no time to waste just yet. Clicking open a screen recording app, he gets to work. Bucky’s already got some footage of you sleeping, cleaning up, and tidying your sheets. In his little mind palace, he’d never let you do any of these things—he’ll be the one to change the sheets, he’d tuck you in bed too.
Bucky let the program run on the desktop as he went to get his breakfast. His mind keeps drifting back to you in his office.
How do you like your coffee?
Do you even like coffee?
You look like a tea kind of person.
Maybe he’ll ask you for breakfast, as soon as he learns how your morning routine goes.
When he came back to his desk, the bed was already made up (again). He got worried for a second until your face came into the frame, your glasses fogged up with vapor.
You bring the laptop with you to the living room, along with a big mug of… something.
He’s gotta learn what you like so he can like it too.
On his side of the things, he sees that you keep your word processor running in the background. More work, perhaps? He hadn’t had the chance to check out your files just yet. He kept himself busy with your pictures and candids. Bucky had his favorites all printed out—he, of all people, knows that technology can’t be trusted, so why were you uploading these pictures of yourself?
There were ones taken in your bathroom, he presumes. On your bed. In the kitchen. By a fucking window, for crying out loud.
He wants to be the one to take these pictures, to imprint them into his memory. Seared in his brain. But not yet.
For now, he just needs to get back at making sure you’re safe in your apartment.
You’ve been staring and smiling at your phone for a while now.
What are you up to?
—
Turns out Mr. IT Guy isn’t very social-media savvy.
All his pictures are out in the open for everyone to see. You wonder what he’s like in private, then.
Maybe he likes posting candids of his new girlfriends and deleting them when it’s over? For a man who has a face of a god, you’d expect to see at least a girlfriend within the past few months.
But he doesn't. No corny pictures, no hashtags of anniversaries, no tagged photos.
You spent your morning working up yourself with your trusty vibe, the image of him fucking you by the kitchen sink fresh on your brain.
Holy shit, does he have that effect on everyone?
What if you wander into his office after a shift and you’d find him stroking his cock? Would you close the door and never speak of it? Maybe you’d smirk and walk over him, sinking down on your knees to suck him off.
God, now you’re all worked up again. Horny, hot, and bothered. That’s good though, then you’d have the energy to finish the chapter you left a week ago.
—
So you’re a writer by choice. Bucky knew that much.
What he wasn’t expecting though, is you write the most explicit things.
The all-white collar girl he met last week likes to get fucked roughly. Overstimulated. Choked. Gagged. Slapped. Spit on.
He’s gotta show you how to make love. Slow, sensual love. Preferably after the roughhousing, that is.
Oh, the things he’d do to you—how he’ll worship your body, head to the tip of your toes. Bucky wants to bury his cock between your lips and praise you for the good girl you are. He wants to let you know that you don’t need to be degraded in order to come.
You just need him.
Bucky’s cock twitches in his sweatpants, still painfully hard. The thick vein on the underside of his shaft protrudes, waiting for him to just fuck something warm.
His hand will do for now.
By the time he got his hand gripping the base of his cock, he’s got you in fullscreen. The recording app still running in the background.
You’re busy. Typing. Researching. Looking for words to replace ‘say.’ Your sleep shirt is loose on your soft frame.
Bucky focuses on you, then. Imagining you on your knees, right here in his apartment. You’d be wearing those glasses you have on. He knew he had a thing for girls with glasses.
He closes his eyes to indulge himself in his own movie.
Your tongue laying flat against his girth, drooling all over the thick base of his dick. He’d let you take your time licking, all the way from his balls to tip. Your lips would close around his leaking head, teasing and tasting his precum.
One of his ties would be around your wrists so you’d learn how to use your mouth.
Bucky swears to God that he felt your mouth closing in on his cock as he pistons his fist faster. A guttural moan spills out of his mouth as his toes curl, the carpet gripping the pads of his feet.
“God, fuck—Y/N.”
Bucky forgoes any kind of underwear last night, only dressing himself up with baggy sweatpants. It was for the better too. He doesn’t think he’d come so much from watching someone—well, not just someone—on the screen.
He sighs, wiping himself clean on the underside of his pants. He needs to do his laundry soon.
Bucky looks at your face longingly from his side of the screen; God, is this how long-distance couples feel?
Maybe he’ll shoot you a text later.
—
Unknown Number: I hope you’re doing well.
Unknown Number: How's your laptop?
Unknown Number: Shit, sorry, it’s Bucky from IT. :)
Your head spun in three different directions as the texts came in.
Hey, Bucky! I’m doing well. The laptop is too.
Was it too curt? Well, you didn’t want to come off too strong. It’s not like he’s been on your mind for the better half of your weekend morning.
Your stomach made a worrying flip as the message status turned Read 10:44 AM. But there was no typing bubble.
Whatever, you’re fine. You’re a busy girl. A strong, independent woman who—
IT Guy Bucky: Good! Just checking on you. We had some downtime due to system maintenance last night.
Oh, it’s work.
No problems on my end! You type in quickly, sending it. To be fair, all you had in common was a band.
Hey, I have a question. It’s not work-related.
—
Oh.
Oh, he fucked up, didn’t he?
Y/N: Do you know any restaurants near the office? I’m sick of eating take-out food. Other than the hipster hideyhole you told me.
Bucky breathed out a sigh of fucking relief when he read your text. He chuckles mostly at himself and composed a reply.
Yeah! I have a non-hideyhole spot a block away from the office. You wanna check it out sometime?
You already got inside jokes.
Is 11:30 good?
Yeah, Bucky types, a smile forming on his lips, 11:30 it is.
#bitchassbucky writes#dark!bucky x reader#dark!bucky x reader smut#dark!bucky x reader angst#dark!bucky x reader fluff#dark!bucky barnes x reader#dark!bucky barnes x reader smut#dark!bucky barnes x reader angst#dark!bucky barnes x reader fluff#dark!bucky#dark!bucky barnes
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dating the port mafia’s medic
a/n: basically headcanons of port mafia members dating one of the organization’s medics who happen to be you. i just thought this would be cute and i’m craving fluff. also these are,,, really long.
feat. akutagawa, chuuya, and odasaku
akutagawa ryuunosuke:
you were the doctor that mori specifically assigned to him to help with his lung condition
even though akutagawa was supposed to have regular, weekly sessions he’d only come in like,, twice a month and that was after you texted mori that he hasn’t been visiting you
akutagawa isn’t all too comfortable with the fact that he has to take off his shirt so that you could put him in an x-ray gown or when you need to listen to his breathing with a stethoscope
but you’re incredibly patient with him and also the pay is good so you persist
at one point during one of your sessions, akutagawa grumbles about having to come to the clinic when he just wants to live long enough to make dazai proud
and you’re like ‘is that so?’
“personally, i’d feel kind of sad if you had to die so early”
that kind of gets akutagawa thinking. he can tell by the way you said it that you had no ulterior motives behind it
akutagawa: but,,, i'm your most troublesome patient
you: oh my god you think you're troublesome ??
you start to rant abt all the patients you had to treat before who didn't believe in vaccines or got their elbows stuck in weird places
akutagawa finds your stories really entertaining so he ends up enjoying and willingly going to his sessions with you
after that first fight with atsushi, you ended up taking care of akutagawa and patching up his body
literal days of you just being at his bedside, worrying and hoping that he'll wake up and then you suddenly realize that maybe you have feelings for him
when akutagawa regains consciousness, he finds that he doesn't entirely hate the situation he's in because he gets to see you more often
he likes listening to more of your stories while you sit at his bedside. eventually he opens up with stories of his own (most of them are abt his missions so yeah)
akutagawa begins visiting your clinic more and one day he comes in even though he doesn't have a session and then agonizes over why the heck he did that
good guy senpai chuuya is basically all 'idk are you in love or something?'
to akutagawa it's utterly unacceptable and he hides his feelings for so long until you're the one who decides to confess to him
and to your surprise, he hesitantly asks if maybe you two would like to be in a relationship
you two are awkward about it at first. akutagawa doesn't really know if drinking tea at your clinic could be considered a 'date' but he does like these moments
both of you have pretty hectic schedules since m your patients are also mafia members and you have to be on-call all the time but akutagawa is really understanding
he likes seeing you in casual clothes but he also thinks you look good in a labcoat (he probably borrowed it when you were not looking to try it on)
because akutagawa has grown quite accustomed to your touch and initiates holding hands with you (in private ofc)
he's still not used to the idea of you taking care of him not just as a doctor but as his s/o but it makes a nice change for once
chuuya nakahara:
the first time he met you was after a mission when he was taking one of his subordinates to the emergency room of the infirmary
you were the doctor on-duty that night and the first time chuuya laid his eyes on you he was like 'damn'
who knew the mafia doctors were this hot amirite
ofc you were also kind of starstruck to see mafia executive chuuya nakahara in the emergency room but you had a job to do and a man was losing blood
you: what's his type?
chuuya: uh,, h/c hair, beautiful eyes, labcoat...
you: i mean... his blood type
chuuya's got it bad. after that night he couldn't stop thinking about that cute medic aka you
but he didn't even know what your shifts were so he LOOKS FOR YOUR CASE FILE IN THE RECORDS
it's like he's gonna commit a murder or something but no he's looking for information on you
the guy’s pretty impressed when he looks at your resume and definitely sees why you were hired to be a doctor at the mafia but that only makes him want to see you more
but questions is, how does he make it look like he was just ‘passing by the infirmary’ and not that he’s actively looking for you
tsundere boy is tsundere
because chuuya almost NEVER gets injured in fights and he’s got a reputation for that and now does he get himself injured on purpose just to see you?
well, the opportunity presents itself in the form of him and dazai fighting cthulhu aka lovecraft but we all know its cthulhu
chuuya wakes up on a hospital bed to you checking in on him and he almost falls off the bed in shock
but then after he gets his bearings he realizes what an IDEAL SITUATION THIS IS
although it’s kind of hard to flirt with someone when you’re in a hospital gown with an IV infusion stuck to his arm
nonetheless, he finally decides to ask you out after his last day of treatment and you’re shocked of course but agree
although your first date ends up being rain-checked because a patient comes in a new mission for chuuya comes up
actually almost all your dates get rain-checked until after a mission, chuuya decides to visit your clinic with a bouquet of flowers just when you get off your shift
chuuya: are... you free?
you: yeah. are... you free?
both of you are too tired for a fancy restaurant date so you two end up at a cozy bar to share a drink
chuuya loves listening to your stories and talking to you. he literally has his chin on his hands listening to how you made a makeshift tourniquet out of your labcoat while you were on the field
both of you are really busy people but chuuya likes to stop by your clinic once in a while
you always have fresh flowers on your table because chuuya brings them for you
sometimes he’ll come home to you already tired and passed out
oda sakunosuke:
the first time he met you was after a particularly rough mission and you were luckily there at the emergency room to treat him
this guy had a concussion and needed stitches asap but instead he was asking you to treat his companions first
you quickly treated him and let him rest and of course the first thing he asks when he wakes up is how everyone else is doing
your intrigued of course because you’ve never met a mafia member who was like him
the second time you met him, odasaku actually brought someone from the enemy faction along because he didn’t think that leaving him to die was the right choice
he didn’t know if you would treat them because you were loyal to the mafia but you also had your own moral code as a doctor to treat patients no matter who they were
odasaku stuck around the emergency room knowing that it was going to take you hours to treat the man and when you come out, you’re surprised to see him there with a cup of coffee
the two of you end up sitting in the hallway and talking about all sorts of things. you love listening to how odasaku stopped killing so that he can fulfill his dream of being a writer
he on the other hand loves hearing about how you went through the hell that was med school because you were dedicated to saving lives
maybe odasaku doesn’t mind getting injured so much because that means he gets to see you but also you can’t help but feel worried about him
one time, one of the odasaku’s adopted kids gets really sick and the first person he ends up calling is you because he has no idea what to do
to his relief, you show up right at the curry restaurant and are very much ready to help
odasaku admires how good you are with kids. even though they just met you, they’ve already taken a liking to your calm, sweet presence
you even pull out your stethoscope and let them take turns listening to each other’s heartbeats
until a kid walks up to oda to check his heartbeat and is like ‘uh,,, your heart is beating really fast’
cue all the kids singing “ODA LOVES Y/N, ODA LOVES Y/N”
you look up at oda and he doesn’t look away and now you know
after that day, oda asks if you would like to maybe have a drink with him or visit a cafe and you say that you would love to
odasaku loves to drop by your clinic because he’s such a caring boyfriend and he knows how stressed you are from your work
he even comes by in the morning to bring you your coffee and he memorizes your order
▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂
taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist): @waitforitillwritemywayout @atsumu-brainrot @laure-chan @goodfoodxoxoxo @guardianangelswings @ah-kaashi
#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bsd x reader#bungou stray dogs x reader#akutagawa ryuunosuke#akutagawa ryuunosuke x reader#akutagawa x reader#akutagawa#chuuya nakahara#chuuya nakahara x reader#chuuya x reader#chuuya#oda sakunosuke#oda sakunosuke x reader#oda x reader#oda#bungou stray dogs fluff#bsd fluff#bungou stray dogs headcanons#bsd headcanons#bungou stray dogs scenarios#bsd scenarios#bungou stray dogs imagines#bsd imagines
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No pressure but I'd love to hear some more puppy tips! Im a recent totally independent adult and Id love to get a puppy at some point but def need some info before I take on the responsibility (I had no clue their bladder develops at 5 months even though Ive been researching which is why I wonder if you have any more tips)
sorry in advance bc this is gonna be a LOT of preamble, but any time you bring an animal into your home it’s a huge responsibility and requires a lot of preparation.
so in general i am a huge advocate for adopting adult animals, especially dogs — UNLESS you have very specific lifestyle requirements (like we do). we needed a dog that was good with cats, other dogs, AND toddlers… which is just not a thing you can easily find adopting through a shelter, especially not in our area (NYC residents snatch up all the dogs within like a 5 hour radius) and ESPECIALLY not after covid (when a ton of people adopted dogs). which meant we needed to get a puppy so we could train in the behavior we needed.
we knew we wanted a companion dog for annie and that i want to have dogs forever and that it is a LOT easier to train in a puppy if you have an adult dog to model behavior from. so with our needs in mind, we started looking for a dog that would be compatible both with our lifestyle and with annie’s personality/energy level (she is a mid to low energy sheep dog and can be kind of a crab ass, but she is also very gentle and doesn’t like playing with dogs who are bigger than her). we did our own research and also talked to a couple friends of ours who work as or have worked as vet techs/other dog jobs.
with all that in mind… a LOT of what is good for a new puppy is going to be breed specific. if you’re getting a mutt, this can be difficult because puppies can look like literally anything so you really have no idea what they are until they’ve grown up a bit — and even then it can be tricky. like, we’re PRETTY sure annie is a border collie/australian shepherd mix because she looks like a border collie but acts like an aussie, but mixed breeds can be difficult because even if you’re reasonably certain which breeds go into the grab bag that is your dog, you never know which traits actually made it in. this is part of why standardized breeds can be such a big deal, since temperament is a BIG part of the package.
we got insanely lucky with annie because we knew her original owner so we had already met (and loved) her, knew her temperament, and that she was good with cats and gentle enough that toddlers would probably be fine too.
ALL THIS TO SAY…. the 5 month bladder control is specific to shibas. other puppies might have a similar timeline but i’m not sure. also, in general it’s recommended to take your puppy out with a frequency equivalent to the amount of months they have been alive (so if 2 months, then a potty break every 2 hours). this isn’t exact and you’ll need to get to know your dog. puppies also have very small bladders and relatively little bladder control (and don’t know they need to control it) and depending on the size of the dog, it is very normal for them to need to pee within 10-30 minutes of drinking water. because of this, it’s a good idea to give your puppy periodic planned water breaks and then take them outside instead of just leaving water out all the time. one thing i have done to figure out where rodeo is at is to give him water while we’re at the park (i have a collapsible water bowl and i bring a water bottle for the 3 of us) and then time him from when he drinks to when he pees, since in that situation he has total free reign over his potty time.
puppies need a LOT of recreation and in addition to walks, they need mental stimulation. scent games are invaluable for this!! i like to scatter a mixture of kibble and treats (in small sizes) across either the backyard or a safe portion of park and let the dogs sniff out and forage. they LOVE this shit. it might take some patience with a puppy if you don’t already have an adult dog to model the behavior, but once they get it they love it (especially if you use a treat they love). i literally cannot recommend this enough, it gets out SO many puppy beans in one go and i get to just chill behind them and like play phone games or call a friend. once your dog is used to this you can gradually decrease the ratio of high value vs low value treats for this, but puppies get bored easily so i recommend like… high mid value, if that makes sense. like you don’t need to give them hot dogs for this, but they probably won’t be super pumped for just kibbles. BUT if they ever are good with just kibbies, then you can use this method for every meal and it will make them so tired. it’s great!!
aaaand my last big tip is to clicker train. this can be a bit confusing to read about so i recommend watching videos to familiarize yourself with how it works, but it is SUPER worth it! puppies pick up on reward patterns super fast but do not have a long attention span and might have no idea what you’re rewarding them for if you don’t start them out with a clicker. i can’t speak for less clever breeds, but rodeo picked up the clicker training in the first day and i accidentally trained the corgi puppy downstairs on the clicker too since he and rodeo play together so much lol.
anyway this was a horrifically long post, i hope it helps. honestly i would not recommend getting a puppy unless you can work from home and have a decent chunk of time to dedicate to raising a literal baby (in fur form).
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How do you characterize so well, I am under so much stress to write them properly that the rest of the story comes out flat, but you do it so effortlessly and that is amazing
omg wtf this is actually one of the sweetest asks ive ever gotten!!! hello!!!!
first of all, thank you for the compliment ;-;! i'm always unsure of my characterization and interpretation, so it really does mean a lot. I kinda explain my process under the cut so if this was just a compliment and you weren't actually asking you're welcome to skip it got a little lengthy sorry 😭 THANK you so much for being such a sweetie.
my biggest tip really is to study the source material as much as you can. For the tales gang, I never interacted with fandom until literally last year- I only ever referred to canon and the source material. Fanon had absolutely no touch on how I wrote them and even with things that take place post-tales, I try to take sure that the original characters can still shine through.
For example, with my post BL3 Rhys, I use both canon BL3 stuff and Tales (I favor tales characterization for obvious reasons). We see Rhys throughout tales to be emotional and borderline hot-headed at times. he has moments of idiocy and moments where it's just plain stupidity, but we also see him shine through as smart. You can sort of chalk up a lot of 'stupid' moments to him just being straight-up inexperienced with Pandora cause, and the key here, he's never been on the planet.
So for my future writings, I always make sure that Rhys is never really displayed as stupid- because he's not. He has moments that come off as silly or stupid, but never is he as a character such.
Spoilers for my Timothy coming to Atlas fic, but when Timothy shows up, Rhys is emotional at first! He's angry that someone like Timothy had the audacity to show up and he's defensive because he's scared. But then, very quickly, he's able to put the pieces together and realize that just like Fiona had said, he was a victim too. He's able to find a place for him to stay and figure out a lot of things really quick. He's emotional and smart -> just like you see in Tales, look at the scene where Jack is about to kill him, he has a moment of emotional 'lapse' before he's able to finish him off once and for all. (Different scenes entirely, but you get my gist.)
Now, there's some exceptions to this rule and mainly I apply it to... weak and bad writing. Biggest example for me is how I write Katagawa. Again, if you're unaware, his entire character is built on a foundation of racism and fetishization. In order to combat this, I rip all of that horrible shit out and see what I'm left with- and in this case, I see (and the lovely @katagawajr pointed these all out to me) a 20 something year old guy with a barcode on his neck and a history of familial neglect-> you see he reaches to Rhys for brotherhood because he believes the man "worthy" to be such because of his drive up the corporate ladder (see: ingrained thinking from being born into a literal company). From this point, I can make safe assumptions and kinda dig my heels into his character that you can (hopefully!) see in my writing.
You say it comes out flat and I think my biggest tip for that is to add less personality in the writing and more in the action and backgrounds department! Less "X was angry" and more "X crossed their arms, tilting their head with a furrow of their brows". When you add more emotion that way, it can help the fluidity of your writing.
Sorry, I ranted a little!!! But yes, I think it's really important to study the characters you want to get down right. Read up on the wikia, on deleted lines, watch cutscenes and really study who you're writing. As always, fanfiction is meant to be fun :) You can define the lines yourself and take my advise, but please remember this is a for fun thing. No one is judging you and no one is critiquing you but yourself. So try to keep that in mind.
much love as always <3
#asks#seriously i hope this helps a little and i truly do not mind asks of this caliber at all ;;-;;!!#again a reminder though Im NOT a professional english person i swear i just started writing fanfic when i was 17 for fun#but i like to think im okay at it so if you have more questiosn or anything pls hmu <3
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Au revoir
CHARACTERS | Levi, Erwin, Hange, Mike, Nanaba, Petra, Kuchel
RELATIONSHIPS | Erwin x Levi, Mike x Nanaba, Petra x Hange
GENRE | Reincarnation, Smut, Romance
IV | Alternate Universe- Reincarnation. Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Romance, Smut, Angst and fluff and smut, French Levi, Student Levi, Writer Erwin, Light angst, Alternate Universe - Coffee shops.
Summary | “Puis-je vous aider ?” That voice, the familiar voice. It rang through his head and brought back memories of the man he had tried to find for so long. He lifted his gaze and was met with the sight of no one other than Levi freaking Ackerman, cleaning a cup, completely oblivious to him.“
Levi.”
Erwin and Levi meet again in the modern world.Series
-
Levi will never admit to anyone that he thoroughly enjoyed reading romance novels. Yes, they were a bit too cheesy for his liking and maybe some of the passage were kind of forced, but the way they made his stomach drop and heart flutter was enough to keep him buying one novel after another. His first novel of such kind was: Madame Bovary, a book which he stole when his mother was away at work. At the green age of 12 Levi hid in the house’s library, right behind the couch and began absorbing the words hungrily, gaping and gasping in shock whenever Emma’s affair with Rodolphe or Leon would appear in the book. He didn’t necessarily enjoy the story as it was quite bland compared to the romcoms he and his mother would watch on Sundays, but was instead mesmerised by the rose scented perfume that lingered among the pages, a phenomenon which he didn’t encounter in other books because, as his mother told him later, Madame Bovary had been a vessel for Kuchel to deliver her love letters to the post office back when she was younger.
Coincidently, Levi was now holding the same book, enjoying it with a little more fervour and fascination as he himself, in his twenty-one years of life, had experienced some form or pretence of love at some point with maybe two or three of his lovers. Wetting his finger he turned the page and finished what was left of the chapter he was currently reading. He let the book down and stared out the window of the train he was embarked on in other to return to his childhood home: Marseille, France.
Levi remembered his past life. This life had treated him extremely kindly, almost as if the universe was apologising for the hell it put him through the last one. He was born and raised in the countryside, his childhood being characterised by stealing from vineyards, scraped knees, and dirty faces, a fun and ideal childhood. His mother, although having gone through a divorce when he was small, was now well and alive, indulging herself with a quality lifestyle and relaxing hobbies; his home forever full of jamon, quality wine, fresh sea food, and oil paintings in easels adjourning his hilltop village house’s balcony crowded with red boungainvillea. He had met Hange and Petra in the same village at the sea on a hot summer’s day, introducing himself brusquely, startling the girls, who lacked even an inch of recognition for him in their eyes. Levi quickly realised that not everyone remembered their past life and as such he should keep quiet. Nonetheless, the three quickly became inseparable, their bond not destroyed but only slightly deterred when him and Hange left for university, leaving Petra back home alone. Levi had left to study architecture at the university of Sorbonne and Hange to England to study Medicine at the Imperial College of London, surprising both herself and her friends when she had only applied at the university on a whim not even half expecting to get accepted, but she was the smartest person he knew and if anyone deserved it then it would undoubtedly be her.
Apart from them, Levi had not encountered anyone else from his past life, and by anyone else he only meant Erwin, his blonde, tall, and handsome commander. It was a disappointment that after so much time he still hadn’t managed to meet him, one which left him with an enormous hole in his stomach that would only get bigger every time he allowed himself to think about his past lover. He eventually lost hope and stopped looking for him all together. He had not told Hange and Petra about him however, instead choosing to keep his existence and unsuccessful search all to himself. After all, it is simply expression that gives reality to things. Never mind the fact that he would sound batshit crazy, but if he would have opened his mouth and openly voice the fact that he had not found him yet, then there would have been chances of not meeting him at all. He was still clinging to a thin thread of hope that Erwin will keep his promise of them reuniting again eventually.
At once, the train pulled in Marseille’s train station with a deafening horn, its locomotive letting out clouds of white vapour that swirled fast up in the azure sky, and announced its passengers that they have reached their destination. Levi stepped on the platform, and dragging his black suitcase behind him, he inhaled the fresh country air as a warm feeling came over him. He had arrived home.
-
On the other side of the globe, free lance writer Erwin Smith was packing his suitcase hurriedly, throwing clothes chaotically in his suitcase. He was terribly late for his flight.
Summer always turned unbearably hot in Miami, the dry heat and the omnipresent smell of sweat managing to deeply irritate Erwin. That had been his initial plan for the summer: change shirt after shirt as he walked the road from his apartment, a small 2 bedroom space that lacked air conditioners and that would turn into a literal oven during the hotter months of the year, and his publisher. Therefore, when Mike and Nanaba invited him to celebrate together their anniversary in Marseille, France, he didn’t hesitate to agree, he actually did with so much desperation that he worried even himself. He had quickly called his publisher making up some shitty excuse to extend his deadline, spattering something about how the sweet mediterranean breeze will to wonders to his inspiration. He lied, and quite horribly so, he had finished the chapter he was due but hadn’t edited it yet, a chore which he assigned himself for when he would return. Quickly closing his suitcase and praying that he didn’t leave everything behind, he ran out the apartment and waved his arm frantically in the direction of a cab that happened to be passing by.
Erwin also happened remembered his past life, something he cursed and treasured at the same time. He treasured the memory of Levi but cursed whenever he would wake up in the middle of the night covered in sweat screaming as he felt the phantom pain from when he lost him arm, something that had somehow followed him into this life also. Just like Levi, Erwin also learned that not everyone remembered their past life. His first such experience had been when he woke up screaming when he was small due to a very unpleasant memory, one filled with titans, blood and the death of his comrades. His father had come to comfort him but dismissed everything as just a nightmare that sprouted from Erwin’s wild imagination. At the age of 16 he started writing everything he remembered before being reincarnated and then at the age of 24 after graduating from university he published a book retelling his story. Society, just like his father, quickly dismissed it under the false and shallow pretension of fiction. Erwin didn’t mind, and at an interview when he was asked what had inspired him to write such a masterpiece, he simple answered: “It’s as if I’ve lived this life before”. In retrospect, a bold statement, but one that had triggered incredulous looks and nervous laughs. It didn’t matter, as long as he was the one that knew the truth.
At the airport, he was met with a very angry Nanaba, that proceeded to punch him in the shoulder as soon as she spotted him coming through the automatic sliding doors, dressed with cargo short pants, white t-shirt and one of those hawaiian shirts, espadrilles not missing from completing his outfit. He apologised and shook Mike’s hand, that came up from Nanaba, trying to calm his petite lover from ending Erwin’s life then and there. His friends, like everyone else he had become acquainted with in this life, did not remember their past lives. They had met in college when he tried to hit on Nanaba and earned himself a punch from Mike, who apologised shortly after and bought him a drink.
“You are well aware we’re going to France, right?” Mike eyed his outfit, and scrunched his nose in something close but not quite to disgust.
“The eccentric writer facade ain’t holding up anymore, you seriously need to change outfits.” Nanaba also joined in.
“I was up writing, thence the messy outfit. I do actually have fancy clothes packed.” Erwin retorted, trying to save himself from their scrutinising gazes.
“Good, because I want to enjoy some of those pretentious wines they’re so famous from at one of those expensive terraces that overlook the sea without wanting to crawl under the table from being seen with a hobo like you. Now come on, plane’s not waiting for anyone.” Nanaba flipped him off, her way of reprimanding him.
“Au revoir America, bien venue France!” Erwin exclaimed, mixing french with english.
“How much did it take to learn those?” Mike asked, amused.
“Only 3 thorough Duolingo lessons, of course.”
-
Levi pushed the door of the little vintage cafe open and was immediately met with the sight of Hange engaging in quite a heated make-out session with Petra. His arrival at home yesterday was met with nothing more than pure joy, as he was bombarded by his mother’s kisses as soon as he walked into the house. They spent a quiet evening on the balcony, enjoying some tea and simply talking the evening away. It felt good to return, he missed the salted air, the chilly breeze, the pink flowers and green bushes, and the exquisite view of the mediterranean sea. Later, when the mosquitoes had started to annoy them, Levi and Kuchel retired back inside the living room, where he was urged by her to play her favourite piece on the piano that had dust on it from never being used anymore. Upon the arrival of the next day, Levi headed to Petra’s cafe, a small vintage shop, which she had opened up quite recently after successfully raising the funds necessary. It was right in the middle of the hill, its glass windows giving a clear view of the stony road and orange coloured walls and roads of the city.
“You guys should get a room, it’s gross.” He said, not one bit of disgust lacing his words. He truly was happy to see his friends again.
“Levi!!!!!” Hange squealed and broke away from Petra, practically jumping over the counter before she threw herself in his arms, hugging him tightly. Petra’s behaviour was hardly any different, surging on the other two and tumbling all three of them down to the floor. They stayed like that for a few minutes until the first customer of the day arrived with an awkward cough to get their attention. For the rest of the day, they chatted quietly, each with a cup of special Petra coffee in their hands, reminiscing about old childhood memories and the things they did while they were apart. Hange had successfully landed an internship at a renowned research company back in London and Petra bought her first place, somewhere they would surely go after she closed the cafe.
“So how’s it going for you Levi? You seeing anyone?” Hange interrupted a peaceful silence then took another sip of her coffee, eyeing him curiously.
“Well, no not really. I guess I’m still waiting for the right person.” Levi replied, his mind drifting off involuntarily to Erwin.
“That’s a pity, tell him Petra!”
“I guess so.” The strawberry blonde sighed, scrubbing the counter. She looked troubled, stressed if Levi knew any better.
“Everything all right?” He asked, hoping she would tell him what was bothering her.
“Theoretically yes, the cafe’s been growing in popularity and the number of costumers has increased exponentially and it has become harder and harder for me to keep up. It’s afternoon and I’m already exhausted.”
“Hire someone to help you.” He offered.
“I would have, I even put up a sign a while ago asking for help, but it’s summer and you know how it is. Everyone would rather bathe than work.” Petra leaned on the counter, huffing exhausted.
“You know, Hange and I could help you if you’d like, until the summer’s end and till you find someone.” Levi scooted over closer to Petra and placed a hand on her shoulder.
“Sure! There is nothing we’d rather do, Pet.” Hange joined in, assuring her girlfriend.
“You guys, thank you.” Petra smiled brightly, exhaling in relief.
-
Their first day in Marseille had been spent at the beach until they were all fried. Well, Erwin had managed to get a nice tan, save for the red slight burns on his shoulders, those didn’t count. Nanaba had made sure to use sunscreen, but with her pale skin tone, she had turned into a lobster by mid afternoon. Deciding that it was enough sun for today, the three settled on exploring the city, in particular the ports, where smell of fresh caught fish would imbue their noses, the hill village, the sights recommended on the internet, like the colourful Noailles Market, Musée des Civilisatons de l’Europe et de la Méditerranée, and following a maniacal Nanaba that sprinted through every shop in La Panier.
As six o’clock came by, hunger made its presence known in their stomachs, they started searching for a restaurant. With an immense amount of luck and without too much time spent looking, the three had found themselves in Restaurant Peron, escorted to a four persons table right next to the clear glass that provided them with an extraordinary view of the sea, admiring the calm relentless waves and snow white moon that reflected itself on the clear water. When the waiter came, Erwin ordered, putting on his best french accent.
“Un Ricard, s’il vous plait.” He managed to make a fool out of himself, sounding exactly like an ignorant American. Un Ricard was an alcoholic beverage made with aniseed and spice that turns an enticing shade of yellow once water is added, a local must try. Nanaba ordered herself an Aperol sprits and Mike a whiskey on the rocks. The waiter bowed and went to get their drinks. While they waited the three engaged in casual conversation, their voices accompanied by the low murmur of the sea and other people’s conversation.
“I believe this has been quite a successful weekend, don’t you think, honey?” Nanaba asked Mike, leaning her face on her hands.
“Indeed. Happy 5th Anniversary, Nanaba!” Mike kissed her cheek tenderly. Erwin watched the display with nothing more than pure envy. It wasn’t fair that they had found each other despite not knowing their past life, it was utterly infuriating and it made Erwin seethe with anger and frustration, both emotions directed more at himself because he had not found him yet, Levi, his lover, his everything.
“Excuse me, monsieur. I brought the drinks.” The waiter interrupted them, making Erwin forever grateful as he was not sure how much more he could bare. He bowed and retrated, leaving them to enjoy their drinks. The Ricard Pastis Erwin had ordered had a creamy texture and yellow colour, bringing the glass to his lips, he tasted it, immediately scrunching up his nose from how strong it was. It wasn’t that he wasn’t used to it, god knows his college years hard served for so much, so many nights spent drowning vodka and absinth bottles, he just hadn’t expected it to be so strong, he thought it would be like Nanaba’s Aperol, slightly bitter and sweet. Mike was sipping slowly on his whiskey and asked:
“Any plans for tomorrow?”
“How about we stick to just visiting the town, my skin can’t take any more sun.” Nanaba proposed, hinting to her burnt shoulders that were covered with a very nice white blouse. Mike and Erwin both agreed.
-
Levi fumbled with the speakers’ wire trying to get them to connect with his phone. It was his first shift today together with Petra, Hange will come later tonight to take his place, something completely unnecessary as he would stay anyway. It was his turn to choose the playlist and he resorted to a simple jazz playlist that would blend in nicely in the background acting as white noise. Once that was settled, he wrapped around himself the black apron with the shop’s logo on it and went up to the counter, patiently waiting for the first costumer.
-
Their second day in Marseille was spent indulging in even more sightseeing. Nanaba woke them up at the crack of dawn, excited and completely oblivious to Mike’s and Erwin’s sower moods, dragging them with her to their first destination: Basilique Notre-Dame de la Garde. Located in a breathtaking hilltop, this spectacular church is the most important landmark in Marseilles. The site was used in ancient times as an observation point, and during the Middle Ages, was the location of a pilgrimage chapel. Erwin enjoyed the renaissance architecture, admiring the big hemispherical dome with a big golden cross on top of it, the golden statuette of what he reckoned was Virgin Mary, the symmetrical high arches, and smaller, little angel statues. It was truly a sight to behold. Their next destination was also a historical landmark: Abbaye Saint-Victor, a house of worship once belonged to an abbey founded in the 5th century. The abbey's basilica is one of the oldest buildings in Marseilles that is still intact, with foundations dating back to Early Christian and Carolingian times. With its crenellated walls and towers, the foreboding exterior has the feel of a medieval fortress. Inside, the basilica reveals a simple and somber design, which gives it a special aura. The crypt houses sarcophagi of the 4th and 5th centuries, as well as the 11th-century tombstone of Abbot Isarnus. It fascinated Erwin immensely, so much so that he filled his gallery with the amount of selfies and normal pictures he took.
He lied when he said he would find his inspiration here, but he was not so sure that it was true. The city’s architecture and overall way of being, from the local’s lifestyle, to its history and vibe, Erwin was sure to use all of this while working on his new book. Wether he would add a spin off in the book, or make references and parallels to everything he saw here.
It was now mid-afternoon and Erwin was exhausted, the sun constantly warming his head had not done a great job of comforting him in the slightest. They were now in Le Panier again, Nanaba having decided that she did not see all of it the day before and that it was absolutely mandatory they go again. Not wanting to be a burden, although he would have much rather gone to his room, Erwin agreed and set on following closely the two before him who were very much engrossed in their own little world. The old town, like any other part of Marseille they had visited, was also magnificent, with its romanesque architecture, houses that were colourful and joined together, and paved streets. It also housed a lot of shade, making him able to cool down and gather up whatever strength he had left.
The thirst he had tried to ignore for the better part of the day had become unbearable, his throat dry like a desert. As such, Erwin made it his mission to find some place from where he could purchase a water bottle. They passed by jewellery stores and artisan themed shops, displaying their handmade products, like dresses with weird designs from cottons, crystals, wooden scultpures, etc. Finally, in a corner, they had found a small cafe: Haricots vapeur de Petra. Quite a long name for a cafe but who was he to judge. He asked Nanaba and Mike if they wanted to join him but they quickly refused, instead choosing to go ahead. Erwin announced them that they will be seeing each other at the hotel before dinner. That way he could spare a few hours relaxing at the small tables placed outside the cafe, enjoying whatever drinks they were serving. He pushed the front door open and was immediately assaulted by the scent of fresh brewed coffee. The cafe was very nice, inside was quite chilly as there was the air conditioner blowing. Its walls were made of brick, from them hanging several plants, portraits, and drawings of people having coffee and the like. It had small circular tables with purple plush chairs that contrasted perfect to the black counter that housed pastries of all kinds: croissants (of course), pains au chocolate, cinnamon rolls, and macarons of all kinds of colours. It was just like an ordinary American cafe.
“Puis-je vous aider ?” That voice, the familiar voice. It rang through his head and brought back memories of the man he had tried to find for so long. He lifted his gaze and was met with the sight of no one other than Levi freaking Ackerman, cleaning a cup, completely oblivious to him.
“Levi."
-
“Levi.”
That voice. It couldn’t be could it? Levi refused to look up, he was imagining things, it was because of the song, the song he played the man a life time ago. We’ll meet again was playing through the cafe’s speakers, it was only natural he would be thinking back to when he visited Erwin’s grave one last time. With his hands now shaking he continued to clean the glass even more frantically, wiping away inexistent water, droplets he imagined were still there.
“Levi, is that you?” Once would be considered a coincidence, but twice? Finally, the raven haired boy looked up, only to have his breath stuck in his throat. Right in front of him was Erwin freaking Smith, the man he loves even to this day, the time spent together and the promises still so fresh in his mind. Erwin had kept his promise, he found Levi.
“Erwin.” Levi croaked, overwhelmed by emotions. He ran around the counter, stopping for a moment in front of his lover to look at him again. Erwin was exactly the same, except for an almost unnoticeable tan, his hair was now sitting comfortably on his forehead, instead of being styled back with gel. Levi jumped into his arms, wrapping his legs around the other's waist so tight, afraid to let go as he might disappear, proving only to be a figment of his imagination. He buried his face into Erwin's neck, inhaling the scent of cologne, sweat, and sunscreen. His lover snaked his hands around his waist and held him tightly, in the same desperate manner. Pulling away, Levi looked into his eyes again, relieved to see the same warm sapphire blue orbs staring right back at him. They were whole again, together again. Unable to hide his excitement anymore, the raven brought their lips together in a kiss, one in which they poured all of their emotions, the longing, love, and relief they had for one another were all present.
“Tu m’as trouvé!” Levi pulled back, out of breath.
“English please.” Erwin chuckled, running a hand through his hair, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his year before putting him down. Levi looked at him in confusion. If Erwin didn’t know french then that meant…
“We should perhaps talk. Wait here for a moment please.” He told him, pulling his hand away from where it was intertwined with the other’s. Taking a step back, he began untying his apron, then turned on his feet to head to the back where Petra was, baking pastries probably.
“Petra, can you cover for me? Something came up. Hange should be here soon, I hope you don’t mind.” At the sound of his voice, Petra turned around just as she was leaning down to grab the tray with freshly baked pastries from the oven. She searched his face, noticing the look of bewilderment, and made to grab his arm in comfort. Levi pulled away.
“I’ll tell you later, but please let me go!” Levi all but begged, making Petra shake her head with wide eyes as she still didn’t understand what was going on.
“Call me if anything happens.” She demanded. Levi thanked her then bolted out back to the front of the cafe where Erwin was waiting awkwardly in the door, never actually having left the spot. As soon as the blonde spotted him, he offered the other the usual warm smile.
“Why don’t you speak french, Erwin.” Levi asked him and gestured for the other to follow him out the cafe. Once outside they started walking on the direction of Levi’s house, unbeknownst yet to Erwin.
“I’m actually a tourist.” Erwin murmured, understanding finally the graveness of their situation.
“Where are you from then?” Levi croaked, his disappointment taking the best of him.
“USA, came here on vacation with some friends.”
“Américain.” Levi spat, his frustration finally showing. “How are we going to make it work Erwin?”
“I don’t know Levi, I believe that’s a problem for another time. I’m here for another week, let’s enjoy ourselves shall we?” Erwin took his hand and kissed it in an assuring manner, smiling again.
“Okay.”
And enjoy themselves they did. Making sure that Kuchel was out, Levi brought Erwin to his house, taking him through every room while he talked about his childhood, his vocabulary limited because his english wasn’t very good. Fortunately, Erwin was patient and didn’t push him, instead helped him by filling in the gaps with google translate or by using his own words when he understood the direction the story was headed in. At some point, they stumbled upon the piano and the blonde urged him to play it, Levi complying not only by second nature, thinking involuntarily to their time on their battlefield, but also by desire, pouring his heart and soul into each and every key he pressed, eliciting sounds that would later formed the master piece named Canon in D major. Erwin listened intently, absorbing every sound Levi produced, his gaze focused solely and completely on him. His lover playing the piano was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. The onyx black hair hung loosely in the air as Levi played, his brows furrowing in concentration, and shoulders tensing when he lifted each hand over the keyboard.
As the song came to an end, unable to hold himself back anymore, Erwin scooped Levi up in his arms and brought him to the couch, the other straddling his waist. It was all too much, the smell of Levi, the feel of Levi, the smooth alabaster skin, silky hair, minty breath, and citrus smelling musk. Levi, Levi, Levi. Erwin brought their lips together in a heated kiss, introducing his tongue shortly after, probing the entrance then entering fully. For a while, that was all they did. They kissed like teenagers, running their hands through each other’s bodies, remapping and rediscovering them. Slowly, Levi became more demanding and started to undo Erwin’s shirt, pulling it down his shoulders and caressed his hand over his chest, playing with the curly strands of blond hair that lined it, although scarce. He then kissed his neck and clavicle. All the while, Erwin had been undressing Levi, his fingers now at his entrance, working slowly but steadily their way in. In his arms, the raven writhed, low moans filling the room.
Done with the stretching, Erwin positioned himself at the other’s entrance, entering him slowly as to not hurt him. Once he was fully seated, he waited for Levi’s signal to move, a slow nod in the pit of his neck shortly after. Their rhythm was slow at first, an occasion to feel each other out, but as their moans got louder in volume, the pace, inevitably increased, turning the love making session into something more rushed and more carnal. They had all week ahead of them, they had plenty of time for slow and passionate love later. After a few more minutes each of them reached their climax, Levi first by tensing all of the sudden, his mouth open in a silent scream, then Erwin shortly after with a low groan. The smaller of the two slumped his forehead against the other’s chest and tried to recover, his panting waning.
“I love you.” Erwin brought his lover’s head up and looked him straight in the eye. Levi replied with a lop-sided me too before retaking his position in the crook of his neck, where he shortly passed out, the physical and emotional effort from the day finally taking their toll on his petite frame.
For the rest of the week, Levi showed Erwin the rest of Marseille, taking him sailing with Petra and Hange, snorkelling in the turquoise water, dining in other less famous restaurants that harboured a magnificent view nonetheless, and hiking. Levi also got to meet Nanaba and Mike, a meeting that was awkward at first but then turned casual as the chemistry they had in their past life never had quite gone away. It was now their last day, and they both chose to organise a brunch on a boat Erwin offered to rent. It had started out great, the interactions between the rest of the group going smoothly, but as night inched closer, Levi grew significantly more and more upset. The reason, revealed to him that night when they were alone, tucked in bed together, was none other than Erwin’s departure. It was time to say goodbye, their short week of heaven brought to an end by force of circumstance, a tragic end to an equally beautiful story. A soulmate who was not meant to be, at least not in this lifetime. They could try a long distance relationship, but that was inconvenient for both of them, they would soon fall apart, each having to take care of their lives. Levi had to work towards a degree and Erwin towards finishing a new book.
“Don’t go.” Levi suddenly croaked, turning towards him and taking his hands, kissing each of their knuckles. “I don’t want you leaving me again.”
Erwin turned his head away in thought. He was a writer, he could basically work from anywhere. In Paris he was sure to find a good publisher, working while also living with Levi in his apartment. If he put in a little effort he might manage it. But what about Nanaba and Mike? Would they understand? Would they still maintain their bond? Is he willing to give everything up for Levi? Erwin furrowed his brows, concentrating and thinking even more. Of course, he would go to the end of the earth for Levi, would rip his heart out of his chest and give it to him. Therefore, he voiced the only obvious answer for his lover’s request:
“I’ll stay.”
-
At the airport the next day Erwin hugged Levi and kissed him on the cheek, bidding his goodbye to his lover. After accepting to stay, they both decided that it would be best for Erwin to return to the states to get his affairs into order and when he would be finished he would return back to France and start his new life with Levi. So, with a waving hand, Erwin fell into step with Nanaba and Mike, who were waiting in line to board the plane. Levi smiled his way and said:
“Au revoir, Erwin Smith.”
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