#that's kinda wild

[traumasurvivors]

I turn 31 on Saturday.

I remember the panic when I was turning 28. It felt like I really only began living in my mid twenties. I spent most of my teen years thinking I was going to kill myself eventually, so I never made a plan for my future.

I spent my early 20's struggling with suicidal thoughts, and I even made some genuine attempts. I really only began healing around then and it felt like it was only around 25 when I began really living.

It left me feeling sick with anxiety and sadness anytime my birthday came around because I felt like I'd lost so much time.

And I've come to realize that while I did lose years to mental illness, trauma and abuse... I still have so many years to enjoy. I can't get those back, and getting stuck on thinking about that is taking away my current time from me. I deserved better, but I can't fix that. I also deserve to enjoy my time now, and I can't do that when I'm stuck on the past.

As my birthday approaches this year, I don't feel anxiety. There's a little bit of sadness which I think is fair, but mostly I feel curiousity. I am curious for what the future holds, and I know that I can still make a beautiful life for myself.

I am so loved. I spend so much time laughing. I spend so much time doing stuff I love.

I lost time. But I don't have to continue losing time.

I hope that if you are dealing with the feelings I did about getting older because of the years you lost that you can get to a point like me. I allowed myself to grieve that loss, and I can't even fix that, but I can still enjoy my time now and I intend to.

[birdyverdie]

so i guess another way to see if the bones belong to a child is if it has red bone marrow huh

[mygwenchan]

Question: Is Jack's "Play with me" tattoo actually real? 👀

I thought it's fake, but I'm not so sure anymore...

[onethousand825days]

wait why was that guy in charge of soothing me??

[mrtryingtowrite]

Bro, who even are you?

You know I actually have no idea. But does anyone? Anyway I made this tumblr because I wanna talk to somebody about how annoyingly hard writing is and how I literally just came up with the loose idea for a novel in about the span of an hour tonight and now I'm contemplating how tf I'm supposed to find either: A: The time to do something with the idea, and the time that it'll take to find the time to figure it out, which then eats into the time that I'm supposed to be making a CV and Biography and APPLYING FOR ACTUAL JOBS

or

B: The emotional literacy to explain to myself that I do not infact have the time I have a feeling due to my innate inabiliity to help myself as I manage to help others. I feel A will infact be the winning option. That said... I'm also pretty sure A is going to lead to the most pain down the line when I realise that the story isn't actually worth reading. HOWEVER, there is always the possibility that the writing brilliance that my year 7 english teacher discovered 10 years ago may finally be put to good use. ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT!

[hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon]

This is largely for @ryebreadlord

So...something about Jersey does weird things to the people who come from it, and subsequently the music they make, which explains two of my favorite bands being My Chemical Romance and The Gaslight Anthem. due to being raised on the latter and falling head over heels in love with the former at age fourteen, the discographies of these bands exist in conversation in my head. can I rationally explain these conversations? the answer is: sometimes!

Basically, this is why The Spirit of Jazz (Gaslight Anthem) and Save Yourself I’ll Hold Them Back (MCR) are married in my head.

To begin, there’s a few superficial similarities between the songs:

In the second verses of both songs there are mentions to dark haired lovers and a special relationship between the narrator and their lover:

“ So what now, lover with your long black hair? If I cut you open, baby, I can repair. Bandage your wounds with the salt on my tongue. And I'm the only one around here ” (The Gaslight Anthem)

“ I'm the only friend that makes you cry, You're a heart attack in black hair dye” (My Chemical Romance)

Both songs loosely allude to a vague form of immortality via movies and music, suggesting that the narrator is aware of the story they are telling:

“ The Cool is dead, baby, go on to sleep, Rest your weary head and love a better me, And in the morning we'll start over again, That's how they do it up on the screen “ (The Gaslight Anthem)

“ They say we're never leaving this place alive, But if you sing these words, we'll never die” and “ This ain't about all the friends you made, But the graffiti they write on your grave” (My Chemical Romance)

These are superficial similarities, but they allow me to get the ball rolling and thoughts percolating.

To me, the songs are just similar enough in ideas and concepts mentioned to plausibly create two perspectives of one narrative. Two snapshots of one story, if you will, with the individual context of each song creating a larger narrative. Save Yourself I’ll Hold Them Back has a narrator who is simultaneously desperate and hopeful, screaming for their lover to get out and save themselves while also saying that as long as they keep hope and beauty in the world, none of them will truly die. The Spirit of Jazz has a narrator who is nostalgic, remembering previous times with a lover and waiting for that lover to return, while still professing their love. To me, these narrators are one and the same, just separated by time. At first, the narrator is young and in a desperate situation, sending their lover away for their safety. Later, they are waiting, wondering if they will ever see that lover again. At no time do they ever doubt their devotion to each other, there is the question of whether they did the right thing.

To compare the choruses:

“ Was I good to you, the wife of my youth? Not another soul could love you like my rotten bones do, So I will wait on the edges in between, These New York streets where you and I would meet” (The Gaslight Anthem)

“ We can leave this world, leave it all behind, We can steal this car if your folks don't mind, We can live forever if you've got the time “ (My Chemical Romance)

These are in conversation with each other. In an earlier time, the narrator and their lover wanted to run away, and claimed they would live forever. Later, the narrator is waiting, perhaps forever, for their lover to come back to them. The Gaslight Anthem song mentions waiting multiple times throughout the song. In the lens I’m using, this can be viewed as the narrator waiting at an arranged safe point after being separated, and wondering if their lover is ever going to meet them there.

Additionally, both songs make references to times when the narrator has saved their lover from pain, both self-inflicted or otherwise:

“Get off the ledge and drop the knife, Not a victim of a victim's life, Because this ain't a room full of suicides, We're believers, I believe tonight” (My Chemical Romance)

“And only I can heal your wounds, Only I can heal your wounds, When you can't go on, when you can't go on, When you can't go on, when you know, hold on” (The Gaslight Anthem)

Finally, one of the more blatant similarities with the narrator describing their lover:

“ But I'm a cannonball to a house on fire, And you're slow like Motown soul” (The Gaslight Anthem”

“ You're the broken glass in the morning light, Be a burning star if it takes all night” (My Chemical Romance)

Both of these songs describe the narrator’s lover as moving slower or ‘taking all night’, which supports the narrative I’m establishing. Of course the narrator is giving their lover time to escape, the lover moves slower and needs time(a whole night) to get away. And of course the narrator, much later, is still waiting for their lover to reappear, they take their time like soul music does. I also love how both lines shown here reference the lover in close proximity to fire and destruction.

Both songs are also oddly hopeful! Save Yourself I’ll Hold Them Back continuously states that the narrator and their lover are going to live forever, while The Spirit of Jazz remembers the old times with only fondness and repeatedly states that the narrator will wait as long as it takes to see their lover again.

To sum up: To someone who listens to a lot of sad yet oddly hopeful rock music from Jersey, these songs have a lot in common and can form a narrative when put together. Go listen to them, I provided links. Stay tuned for when I compare more songs!

[abyssforphantoms]

That post put me in an existential crisis at 3am last night and I'm still not over it.

LIKE WHAT IS MY STYLE?????? HELP!!!!!!

I just started doing the cartoony eyes thing because I like to be able to tell where a character is looking, yet I still like official style alot. (Also maybe got influenced when I binged watched transformers animated and transformers prime. I really like the different eye shapes for the characters in those two shows.)

I haven't been in the sky community that long but I just noticed something...

[xxplastic-cubexx]

obligatory beach divorce doodling

bonus rough cover redraw of x-men #41 (1995) But Beach Divorce below cut

[appystruda]

WHAT THE HELL

I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THIS UNTIL NOW BUT GUYS I FUCKING DREW THIS TEAM UP BACK IN 2023?????????? I REMEMBER DOODLING THEM BC I THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE SILLY

[menelaiad]

the infamous 'last sighting of a barbary lion in the wild' photo taken by marcelin flandrin (1925) haunts me to my core. there's something so achingly poetic about it.

[wreniriis]

Daydream 🍃

[dredgesnails]

some rapidfire thoughts on the teams this season

gem & joel: best friends who murder together stay together (and will probably die together)

bdubs, tango & etho: melodramatic soap opera turned toxic polycule

ren & martyn: yaoi never dies but if they keep making enemies with the entire server they will, soon,

scott, impulse, cleo and pearl: "this time impulse wins" club

jimmy, scar & lizzie: either a shakespearian comedy or tragedy, too soon to say

skizz, mumbo & grian: grian took skizz in the imp&skizz divorce and also brought along his best friend Trust Issues Mcgee

bigb: something changed irreversibly in him during secret life and he has not been the same since

[lmaowh-at]

Catelyn heard someone snigger behind her. She loves him, poor thing, she thought sadly. She'd play his squire just to touch him, and never care how great a fool they think her... (and some other things)

[andi-o-geyser]

fym “PROBLEMATIC” the only problem is going to be you trying to walk tomorrow. go get pegged

[frownyalfred]

Bruce Wayne, in public as Brucie, has a weak and tepid handshake in order to both evoke dislike in the handshake partner and to lessen chances of someone detecting his calluses and above-average grip strength. in this essay I will—

[lotus-pear]

two mimir.. 🤲🏼🤲🏼