#that's kind of a bummer note to end this post on

[inconsistentlywrittensoul]

In Reptile Boy, once again the Angel relationship takes a step forward in an episode about older sexual predators preying on high-schoolers; like Teacher's Pet, the appeal of an older partner is recognized and questioned, and the dangers they represent are confronted. And Angel continues to stress the age difference between him and Buffy as a problem. I really didn't pay much attention to it when I was younger, but the show is way more aware of the issues here than I realised.

Also, yeah, the "When I kiss you I want to die," line is a complete non-sequiter - hell, they've barely even kissed. It might make some sense in Season 3, but it really doesn't fit where they are at this point in the series, and it really sounds way more like a reason to end a relationship than to begin one.

There is however a much more natural connection to her death drive when she expresses a desire to be swept up in an out-of-control romance - it's the "Seize the day, because tomorrow you might be dead" thing again. She wants to embrace passion now without regard for any possible consequences, because on some level she's deeply aware that she might not live to see those consequences; and if she denies herself now, she might not live to see real passion. I'd argue that both her vampire romances are defined by her inability to imagine a future for herself, simply taking whatever love or pleasure she can get right now - because the present is all that she can really believe in.

[harumiura]

i highly doubt im gonna finish anything better than my chrome art before the year is up so im posting this now..... got through another year boys!

[nyarumie]

hii dropping by to say i love your works sm !! since you mentioned abt narumi requests, id like to make one :3

how aboutt narumi randomly feeling hungry during his game night and when he goes to find food he sees reader! so they end up making/getting food tgt all domestic and fluffy (if you’re cooking bro is definitely not thinking abt wifing u up uhhhh), feel free to create any setting you’d like for the scenario hihi

(also this might or might not be an excuse for me to ask u to become moots aha)

Food Impact! (Oneshot)

narumi gen x reader — pure fluff, more fluff, and even more fluff! sweet and gentle narumi, established relationship, the kitchen staff are eavesdropping on them, spoiler alert: they made a mess in the kitchen.

Author's Note: Readers, please search up the food name references I included here to get the entire picture of what they're trying to make <3

Author's Reply: hi, rye! I think we're already mutuals (at least, it's what my notif bar says? i know im already following u tho! i love your works too <3 it inspired me to write and post too, to be honest) thank you for this request i totally had fun writing it and helped me with my writer's block (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ id love to interact more too!

Cross-posted on ao3. Ask box is open, and masterlist can be found on my pinned. Have fun reading, everyone!

The sight that greeted Hasegawa has an unusual factor.

Stacked yamazon boxes, check.

Littered cans and bottles, check.

Neglected blankets and pillows, check.

An unbothered Captain on his futon playing his BS5, gone.

Or maybe he's just being dramatic. Narumi is actually there, albeit not stuck in front of his huge ass TV for once. Rather, he's shockingly seated behind his office table, adorning a serious expression while giving his laptop an intense focus.

His Vice Captain is rendered speechless. Was he seeing things? The First Division’s Captain… is actually doing work?

“Hasegawa. What is it? I’m busy here.” he said, hands busy on his laptop.

Oh, he's been staring at him for the past 5 minutes, mouth agape. Regaining his composure, he stated his business. “Your presence is requested for an interview. I believe I sent you the notice first thing in the morning.” But is it right to be disturbing him when he’s finally working—a rarer than once in a blue moon occasion?

“Requested, not required. Don't care, won't care.”

“...Then I’ll ask her to do it in your stead.”

“Don't. She's helping me with my work.”

Sighing, Hasegawa turned around to leave, surprisingly not picking Narumi up like a helpless cat to make him attend the interview.

Once Narumi heard the door click, the corner of his lips turned up, unable to stop the smug, triumphant grin from forming. “Hah, too easy! I’m busy working alright, my ass is practically burning from sitting here all day!”

In truth, the laptop Narumi specifically requested when he was promoted as Captain is a gaming laptop. He had somehow convinced the higher ups that its specifications are far greater than anything most officers can handle and is fitting for his position as Captain. Not that they know what it really is, of course.

He has been playing Jenshin Ympact the moment his office shift started. You had practically begged him yesterday to grind for you, saying that you’ll handle his paperworks worth a week’s job as long as he gets your desired character and weapon. “Why won’t she just top-up on this game? We have all the money to get every single character. What a bummer.”

Not that he understands why you’re willing to shoulder his paperworks over playing a game. Nothing’s enjoyable about paperworks at all! But you complained that your back was hurting from grinding, and who was he to reject such a good offer? That means a grumpy Hasegawa would appear less on his doorstep.

Complaints can be heard from him as he speedruns a side quest, mumbling about how the NPCs are too helpless. “What the… why do most NPCs ask for food here? What kind of adventurer doesn’t bring any food with them?”

Karma seemed to have hit him, his stomach growling too loud for his liking.

Ignoring it, he continued, still insulting every single unimportant character here and there. “Boo. Shut up. Don't like you. Go away. I hope you get eaten by a slime—”

And an even angrier sound came from his stomach.

“Fine! I’ll grab something to eat.”

What he meant by grab something to eat, is grab you to get the both of you something to eat. He refuses to eat anything without you, finding it more enjoyable doing mundane things with you around. His stomach has been empty since morning, wanting to get an early start on his grind.

He sulkily made his way towards your own room, knowing that you've been just as cooped up as him in your respective offices.

Not bothering to knock, he calmly opened the door, instantly finding you still working on his paperworks, desk situated across your door.

His familiar presence caught your attention, eyes lighting up in joy at the sight of him. “Gen! What brings you here? Do you need anything?”

Without a word, he gently grabbed your wrist and pulled you up, making you drop your pen in the process.

Confused, you tried calling him again. “Gen?”

“Mhm… heard you. Just come with me.”

“Alright.” You smiled, his uncharacteristically calm demeanor endearing you. He was often like this with you, as if your very existence is his source of peace.

A comfortable silence lingered as you let him lead you to his your destination. Halfway there, you finally recognized the route to the cafeteria.

‘Oh, he's just hungry.’ you thought. ‘But wouldn't he prefer instant meals or deliveries instead of going all the way here?’

But instead of going straight to the self-service counter, he turned and made his way to the kitchen instead. Wait, are you even allowed there? Sure, he's the Captain, but he's not a cook!

He finally let go of your wrist, unceremoniously opening the large door, earning shocked stares from the kitchen staff and making them pause their job.

You pulled at his sleeve. “Gen—”

“Is there an available cooking station here?” he asked.

The staff looked at each other, obviously baffled. “Uhm, Captain Narumi, sir; there is. But it's at the far end of the Kitchen…” a cook said, pointing towards the station.

“Good. We’ll be using it undisturbed.”

Gen continued making his way forward, with you holding the cuff of his sleeve to ease your nerves. You offered an apologetic look at every person you made eye contact with as you both made your way through. He still hasn't said anything as to why you're here of all places, confusing you further.

He came to an abrupt stop once you reached ‘your’ station. It's time to get to the bottom of this.

“Gen, did you say we'll be using this cooking station? Are we actually cooking?”

He faced you, his arms crossing. Suddenly, he looked a bit bashful. “Yeah. That's what I said.”

Raising your brow, you tried prying more information from him. “And what exactly are we gonna cook?”

“Ahem. So I saw this food while playing Jenshin Ympact…” He pulled out his phone, showing you a screenshot of the food.

Invigorating Kitty Meal.

Giggles threatened to spill from your lips. No wonder he wants to make it yourselves.

He swiped the photo to another screenshot. “And there's this other one. You love mushrooms, I thought you'd want something simple to eat.” Milky Mushroom Crisp Tower. How cute, he was also thinking of you!

“They look pretty fun and easy to make. However… Both of us don't know how to cook, Gen.” you frowned.

“But you just said it looks easy to make. There's two of us, that should be good enough, yeah?” he pouted.

Fondly, you sighed. He’s being too adorable right now, you just can't say no to him. “Alright, we’ll try. If it turns out good, you’ll marry me, won't you?” you joked.

He brightened up at this, pushing his hair back, determined to make his kitty meal. “Consider it done.”

After thoroughly examining the screenshots, you personally approached a few people stationed in the kitchen, asking them which ingredients would best suit your planned meal. With a couple of pieces of advice here and there, you and Gen started to put the plan in motion.

He passes you a rather large bowl full of rice, busying yourself with shaping it to form a cat, filling its inside with mayo tuna. He tasked himself with (trying) to cook the steak while watching the eggs boil, which you doubted at first, earning you a complain from him (‘Hey! You're on the same boat as I am; can't cook, can't question!’)

Cooking the steak is quite the task, so you decided to handle your mushroom toast yourself.

You poorly sliced up the mushroom and tossed it in a small pot filled with a cup of thick cream and easily melted cheese. Not hard at all!

You leave it be and checked on Gen, who you find struggling with not burning the steak. “Need help?”

“I’m fine! It's just that this is totally not beginner friendly, that's all!”

“...Gen, the eggs are overcooked.” A series of curses left his mouth as he hurriedly took them off the boiling water, and his nose scrunched up on the smell of something burning.

“Your mushroom! The heat is turned all the way up!” Now it was your turn to panic.

After a couple of errors from both your ends, it was safe to say that you've finally reached the final task of your newly found skill.

You were carefully carving some seaweed, cheese, and ham as the final touches to his rice kitty’s facial features. Gen was standing behind you, arms wrapped around your waist as he watched your art, humming to himself. He seemed pleased despite the mess you both made.

“Let's cook again someday.” he said.

You snort, “Speaking too soon? You won't say that if this turns out bad.”

“Nahh. Not if I’ll marry you.”

You laugh, taking it as a joke. You feel him perch his head on your shoulder, face turning into a frown. “I wasn't joking! Here, have this.”

He took your hand, putting a seaweed ring on your finger. You giggled again, your heart can't take him sometimes. “I didn't mean to laugh at you. You're being too adorable today! Let's eat these right here before they spoil.”

He looked too sad to see the kitty get devoured, sulking despite how good it surprisingly tasted. And yours wasn't too bad either, glad that you were able to salvage whatever was left from the burnt mushroom sauce.

“ ‘M definitely gonna marry you someday.” he suddenly said.

Your head whipped towards him so fast, only to find him munching on his meal, face serious. “Food so good it got you saying that again?”

He shook his head. “Don't you want me as your husband?” he whined.

You felt your face flush, suddenly aware that he meant what he said. “Go put on a real ring on me first. Then I'll take you as my husband.” you teased.

Looking thoughtful, he hummed. “I can wait just fine. It arrives tomorrow.”

Wait. What?

“What arrives… tomorrow?”

“The ring.” he said, matter-of-factly.

You faced him fully, mouth wide open. He’s dropping this information way too casually!

Sensing your stare, he also turned to look at you, food still in hand. “What? If you're worried about the size, I got it covered.”

“You're crazy. When did you purchase it?”

“Hmm… a couple of weeks ago. When I heard you scolding Hasegawa for disturbing me, saying I needed rest for carrying No. 1’s eyes on a daily basis. No one dares to scold him like that! So I decided to promote you as my wife!” he proudly said.

You tug at the front of his clothes, pulling him closer. “I want to kiss you right now.”

He set his food down, placing his hands on your waist. His eyes seemed to sparkle with mirth. “Then, as the Captain of the First Division, I grant you special permission to kiss me.”

And with that, you closed the distance between you, feeling the both of you smile in your kiss.

Bonus:

Unbeknownst to the both of you, the kitchen staff were eavesdropping the entire time. Who would’ve thought that this is how good their Captain's romantic life is?

You two were so absorbed in your own little bubble, failing to notice the suppressed squeal from a staff that was tasked to spy on you when you kissed. Seems like you forgot there were other people around you.

The staff went back to the others, meeting their expectant gazes. Wordlessly, they gestured their ring finger and acted out a kiss. It was comical, but the message was well-received nonetheless. It became an unspoken rule to keep what happened that night amongst themselves, wanting to respect your and the Captain's joyous moment.

[pakunod-a]

Silly Prom Night

Prompt: It's prom night! What do these men do in the ballroom? 🤨

Pairing: Overblot boys x Reader

Riddle, Leona, Azul, Jamil (I) [here]

Vil, Idia, Malleus (II) [here]

CW: Random stuff, not really fanfiction-ish, more like drabbles, some shorter than others lolololololololololol Reader is referred to as You and Yuu. Reader is described to wear a gown, other than that it's gender-neutral if you don't mind the fabric gap. Bad English because I'm not a native English speaker :( not proof-read, random as FUCK and characters might seem very ooc if they do I blame my not-so-American education

Notes: entire work is based off of stuff that happened to me last night at prom, and i was thinking about various characters that would probably fit the profile of all the mishaps that happened to me last night lolololol

Work under the cut :)

Riddle Rosehearts !

You were sitting at your table, waiting for the buffet service to end so you could take the dance floor.

Well, it's not like anyone's dancing with you.

To be fair, you were supposed to be partnered with a first-year, who got sick the night before, so he couldn't make it. Poor lad.

It was horribly long, it felt like a very, very long time.

It took around thirty minutes for the dance to start, and everybody's got a partner.

All, except for you.

What a bummer.

Wait, is that the housewarden of Heartslabyul, in the corner, without anyone asking him to dance?!

Let's go fix that. 🏃

You ask him if he wants to dance, and he simply says;

"No."

"Come on, it's a ball, you're supposed to dance. You're getting there whether you like it or not. This long ass dress won't stop me from dragging you on the dance floor."

You ended up having a half-hearted Riddle dance with you.

Honestly, the way he held you felt like he wasn't interested at all, let alone happy. It felt like he was disgusted by your presence.

Every time you'd look at him, he would have an unpleasant look on his face, and aim his gaze elsewhere.

After the dance is over, and everyone returns to their seats, and you get a notification from your phone on Magicam. It was Cater, tagging you in a post.

"So cute! I'm vouching for RiddeYuu next year. #RiddeYuu #YuuRid"

..huh. Attached to the post was a video, and a bunch of hashtags you swear you didn't care about. You clicked the video, thinking that it was some kind of impractical prank being played on you.

Oh boy.

Boy, were you wrong.

In the video, it was you and Riddle dancing together on the dance floor. Riddle was a mess, blushing and shying away from all the lights. He had a small smile, as he evaded your gaze whenever you looked at him. He seemed genuinely happy to dance with you.

Maybe he wasn't disgusted after all.

Maybe he really did love dancing with you.

Leona Kingscholar !

You couldn't count the number of times this guy stepped on the hem of your train.

It's like your hair being pulled out of your skull, except it's your entire body being pulled back like a slingshot.

It wasn't the most fun experience.

Then, you had to pick a partner to dance with for the nth time this evening.

Your feet hurt already, how much more dancing?

Surprisingly, even though you had little to no interest in dancing, a certain sleepy lion approaches you with a scowl on his face.

"C'mon herbivore, chop chop. Vargas says I gotta dance for extra credit. You look like you could use it too."

This feels and sounds condescending.

He's pretty nice to dance with, doesn't step on the hem of your train anymore, nor does he step on your feet.

On the contrary, he scoops up the longer part of your train whenever you'd have a hard time walking somewhere.

Other times, he straight up carries you like you're a cat.

It's funny, really.

There was this one instance where you mentioned you wanted ice cream.

He set you down on his chair near his party's table, and disappeared. He actually came back with half-eaten ice cream

You love your sleepy lion, even if he seems a little TOO catty at times. :)

You eventually got too tired to dance, and just sat down. Leona napped on your shoulder.

How sickeningly cute.

Azul Ashengrotto !

Where there is bank to be made, Azul Ashengrotto's the merchant's name.

Seriously, this guy's part of the catering group for the buffet.

Bro did NOT stop making deals at a school function. The grind never stops, respect for that.

You'll probably end up selling your kidney and a lung if you stayed there any longer.

Buuuuut, he does need a dancing partner.

So what say you, if he offered you a slice of mango graham cake and a cup of coconut jelly with a side of gelato in exchange for a dance?

Hell yeah. sorry to the readers that dont have a sweet tooth, have some roasted garlic and onions.

He wasn't too bad honestly, never stepped on your feet once.

You do remember having two gold bracelets on your hands.

He admired one for a quick moment, and it seemed to disappear.

Now, he wouldn't go around stealing stuff from anybody.

No no.

He found it on the floor, while you were too busy dancing.

You want it back?

"Three more dances. Then I'll give you your bracelet back. After all, what's a precious bracelet in exchange for a few dances, no?~"

"You're wasting my time, screw you."

You ended up dancing with him, ten times.

Not thrice.

Ten.

Bro just exploited the jewelry glitch, and wore you out all night.

"Oh, poor Yuu, however will you get back home? If you promise to help out at Mostro Lounge, I'll have you home in a jiffy—"

Thud.

You fell on the ground, snoring.

Oh. You're asleep now. That's convenient.

Don't worry, he'll carry you back home to Ramshackle, free of charge.

After all, dancing with him all night must've tired you out.

He'll just repay the favor.

Surely, that would be the more gentlemanly thing to do.

Jamil Viper !

Would you believe me if I said this guy was in the corner, squinting his eyes as he looked for someone?

Oh. Dude must be looking for Kalim. Fortunately for him, he's over by the second-year's table, away from him.

Hold on.

Away from him???

But the Octotrio sits at that very table.

The Leech twins and Azul Ashengrotto himself?!

Hell no!

Jamil sprints half a mile across the ballroom in an attempt to sweep Kalim away.

"You shouldn't be sitting with them. They're not exactly the type of people you should be socializing for this type of event."

Not even a few seconds later, Kalim trips on a giant camera stand.

He face-planted into the ground, his nose bleeding from hitting the ground too hard. He still has that stupidly goofy smile on his face.

It honestly gives you cuteness aggression.

He had to be brought to the infirmary.

Poor Jamil, he really doesn't get a break.

It's not until he gets dragged to the dance floor, does he leave Kalim's side.

Let me tell you, once this guy relaxes, DAMN can he dance.

He could be blindfolded and spun around five times, and he'd STILL have the balance and elegance of a ballerina.

Work it girl, show those students who's boss.

note: "which events were these inspired from?" oh wow i thought youd never ask let me give you a tour of my brain juice i used to write this real quick and indulge myself in an immersive storytelling 🤜💥🧱

For Riddle: when i got called up for my award, there was a boy who also won the same award in the male category. we were instructed to dance together, for the Royalty dance. i thought he was disgusted because i was holding him, so i felt uncomfortable dancing with him. in a video posted by my schoolmate, they tagged me in a video of him looking at the camera and smiling as he waved. he looked half pale and half pink.

For Leona: while dancing for the "waltz" part of the prom, i felt hungry and told my dancing partner i was hungry, but they wouldnt let me back into the buffet because my dress almost took up the entire line for the buffet, so i either had to ask someone to get it for me or have my homeroom teacher get it for me. he eventually sat me on a chair, and ran back with ice cream from the dessert bar. he did eat the whipped cream and cherries, so i made him go back and get another.

For Azul: this one student was working behind the counter at the buffet, and he was jokingly stealing his dance partner's earrings, necklace, and bracelets while she wasnt looking. he said it costs three waltzes for a singular piece of jewelry to be reclaimed, but if she danced to a budots remix, she'd get everything back. she waltzed for more than seven times until she collapsed onto a couch and snored for an hour straight. she did get her jewelry back, and she resumed dancing with our Azul-like classmate.

For Jamil: i saw someone slip and their friend was scolding them for not being careful. he sat down at the table full of people who dont like him, and he got an earful from his friend on why he shouldnt sit there. his friend reminded me of Jamil so much, i had to write him like that.

[libraincarnate]

astrology notes: 1 ❅

quick note: i’m absolutely not an astrologer.  these are just a culmination of some observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experience. above all this is just for fun. the third astro note has the slightest bit of nsfw. nothing crazy but still, 18+. if not, skip that one lol. lastly, unfortunately while reading this post you are NOT the main character (oh I know, bummer :/) therefore these may or may not apply to you. but, you might find something to be true about your friends, family, or crush. 😘 enjoy!

1. empty 3rd & 9th house: having never been on a plane/traveled outside of your home country, driving rarely even if you know how, or only traveling short distance, not for long & not often. could be much more of a home body.

hmm, could having an emtpty 3rd & 9th house = possible motion sickness or home sick when traveling?

2. check the persona chart of your dominant planets. so, if you are mercury, neptune, and mars dominant, check those persona charts for further detail, insight, and understanding of those planets regarding how they play out for you & how they're expressed in your life.

for example, having an aquarius venus in the birth chart: usually detached & not outright expressive with their feelings because of an emphasis on logic, friends to lovers but still friends while lovers, attracted to someone described as different or quirky. 

but you also notice that you are attracted to those who are the bad boy/girl, intense, deep, all about you types too and you can even have a bit of these traits as well. come to find out you have a scorpio venus or venus in the 8th house in your venus persona chart but this can be subtle, or not, depending on various factors. so the persona chart can show you another layer to the planets in the birth chart.

3. heavy/prominent capricorn: might typically have rbf & suppress or want to control their emotions. they feel it inwardly but don’t express it outwardly. with that being said, capricorn and/or saturn in the 8th house might not have an expressive face during sex, could even avoid prolonged eye contact. even more so if capricorn venus, mars, or both in the 8th house.

4. sags: might be flashy, vain, or arrogant about many things but they don’t really boast their intelligence though they are very smart and thoroughly know/understand a variety of interesting subjects which they are also able to teach well.

5. virgo in the 4th house: kind of taking control at home in regard to bringing order, organization, micromanaging, being bossy towards family, keeping things clean, etc. can be stressful if you have messy family members when you can’t stand to be around mess & filth.

6. having scorpio placements is so funny, even if it's only one. you could have heavy libra, pisces, and gemini in your chart but that scorpio will give you a layer of intensity & depth even if you’re the only one who's aware of it. 

7. mercury in 5th house: can have dramatic, exaggerated and/or loud speech.

if you have mercury in retrograde you might not be loud or someone who yells, and you hate getting yelled at.  

8. gemini moon: using humor to cope with heavy emotions & their problems whether intentional/aware or not.

my favorite number is 8 so we’ll stop there. this is my first one so it’s short & sweet. 🍭 ending with this, someone please tell me what placements might indicate an attraction to the eyes. i have no aries/prominent 1st house placements in neither my birth chart nor my venus persona chart. i know there doesn't need to be an astrological explanation but just curious. if you read this until the end I hope you enjoyed it & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you. 

[she-is-27-i-checked]

I come to you, oh High Priest of Horny Sunday, with a puzzle I’m stuck on. I say this with love and affection for all and a desire to keep everyone feeling welcome and horny on our most holy day. It’s awesome that so many people have loving wives to brag about in detail…. But for those of us who don’t, it’s kind of a bummer? And becomes a little “Ah this is for people who currently have partners, not me. I am embarrassed and sad I can’t participate equally and disappointed in myself that their fun makes me feel bad.”

Putting our heads together, is there some tag or something to sort this so everyone can continue to have fun, including feeling welcome and joyous in their wife-bragging? There’s not an easy answer here and the last thing I want to do is quash anyone’s Holy Horny! But maybe I’ll be taking a step back otherwise.

Hi anon,

Firstly, thank you for coming to me about this. I love this little community and the last thing I would ever want to do is cause someone to leave it with my silliness - so I am very motivated to reach a solution here, even if that solution ends up being me shutting up a bit.

Secondly, it seems like this is the kind of issue which is going to require a little back and forth to reach a solution, so if you are comfortable doing so please do slide into my DMs and we can chat about which content in particular gives you The Sads ™️ and which you still want to see. I assume blocking the entire #📯💒 tag is not what you want here? (If you want to talk to someone objectively nicer than me hit up @modestflamboyance or @jamie-clayton and talk it out with them. I will enact whatever you guys agree to 🫡)

Perhaps it's simply a matter of consolidating our #wifeposting #wifeguy #mrs27 tags into something we all use to denote such content? Or do we need to separate generic wife stuff from horny wife stuff?

With regards to the questions and polls and such, believe it or not we do put a fair amount of thought and discussion into making them as inclusive as possible - albeit the "we" I'm talking about is 3 people married to women so perhaps we could use your input with that?

Anyone please feel free to hop into the notes of this post if you've got any ideas or if you've got your own concerns we could work out together as well...

With love and appreciation to the wholes Rizzles fam, who have made me so so happy since I found you.

- your devoted court jester 🃏, 27.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[peterman-spideyparker]

Santa, Baby (Matt Murdock x fem!Reader)

Author’s Note: Sooooooooo this fic was supposed to come on December 23, but I procrastinated with it and didn’t end up finishing it until yesterday, and I don’t want to wait until next year to post because I’d put money on it that I’d forget. And it’s still December, so it counts. Enjoy :)

Summary: You want to do something on the sexier side to surprise Matt at Christmastime, but you don’t know how he’d take it. When Matt takes an unexpected night off from vigilantism, you put your plan into motion.

Warnings: Fluff (established couple, soft domestic sweetness, kisses), smut (holiday themed sexy outfits, oral - m and f receiving, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie), swearing

Other Characters: Karen Page (Karen x Frank)

Word Count: 3,809

“Hey,” you say with a smile as you open the door, the office of Nelson, Murdock, and Page on the air of the quiet side of things for what you know has been a busy week for the trio. 

“Angel, what are you doing here?” Matt smiles, taking a few steps forward from Karen’s desk to meet you in the middle of the reception area. 

“I cut work early to run some errands and I was passing by, so I thought I’d pop up,” you hum, placing a quick, sweet kiss on his lips.

“Well, I don’t want to be a bummer, but I gotta go to court soon for a discovery hearing.”

“It’s okay, Matt. I actually came here to ask Karen a question.”

Surprised little “oh”s escape both of their lips, turning toward one another one shock. 

“I guess I’ll leave you to it. See you at home, sweetheart.”

“Bye, Matty. You’ll do great,” you say with a kiss to his cheek, waiting as he grabs his jacket and makes it out of the office. 

“So what’s up?” Karen asks with a smile as she sits on her desk, and you move to match her body language. 

“Well, I had an idea, but I don’t know if I should see it through,” you explain. “See, I wanted to do something for Matt for Christmas, but I don’t know if he’d get his knickers in a twist. I mean, I already got his present—which has been hell to hide from Mr. Super Senses—but I want to do a little something more for him.”

“Like what?”

You feel your cheeks burn hot, suddenly a little embarrassed. You don’t know why you are—you’ve talked to Karen about this kind of stuff plenty of times before, and she has to you. You just have that kind of bond and friendship. 

“Well, there was a really cute Santa babydoll dress that I was thinking of getting, but I don’t know if that’d be weird for Matt—making Christmas sexy like that.”

“He’s never hinted around anything in that sphere?”

“Nope.”

“Well, I guess I can understand where that might be an odd thing on different fronts. Making something that shouldn’t be sexy sexy, and then the religious element.”

“So it’s a bad idea then, huh?”

“Maybe that one specifically, but I’m sure there’s another. It’s fun to do sexy holiday things like that. Frank and I love doing them.”

“You do?” you smirk.

“That’s a story for another time with lots of wine,” she laughs. “But I’d look for other options, you know? If anything, Christmas and Valentine’s Day are perfect for something like that because of the softer fabrics, and I know Matt has a thing about that. Just poke around. I can even go shopping with you, if you want.”

“I’ll browse, and if I can’t find anything, we can look together. I’m assuming you’re trying to do something with Frank?”

She blushes deeply. “Yeah. But he doesn’t have a thing too much about Santa, so maybe send me the link for that babydoll?”

You laugh loudly in the quiet office. “Sure thing, Kare.”

As you dry the dishes from dinner, you feel Matt slip his arms around your middle, pressing you flush against his back and holding you close, his chin on your shoulder as he nuzzles into your neck.

“I think I’m gonna stay in tonight,” Matt whispers against your skin. “It’s chilly out.”

“The Devil is scared of a little wind chill?” you smile, trying and failing to turn around in Matt’s grip from behind. 

“He likes it a little warmer.“

“Poor thing,” you pout, craning your head to the side, giving him a kiss on the side of the nose. “You’d never survive New England winters.”

“Good thing we live in the best city in the world.”

“You know what I think?”

“Lay it on me, sweetheart.”

“I think my big strong devil is a snuggly, needy, softy. In all the best ways.”

“Me? Needy?”

“We’re all a bit needy, Matty. You, for example, need me.”

“That’s the understatement of the century,” he smiles, letting you turn around in his grip, holding the side of his face and kissing him properly. 

“Well, I need you, too, so we’re perfect for one another. And, you’re my human radiator. Blankets don’t stand a chance against my man.”

“Can I get that in writing?” he smiles, his hands on your waist spinning you around to he can give you a kiss.

“Sure thing, baby,” you mutter against his lips.

“Let me put these away.”

“Dish duty is on me tonight. Don’t mess with the system, Matty.”

“Can the system go out the window for one night?”

“My creature of habit wanting to throw routine out of the window?”

“C’mon, angel.”

You lean forward once more, your lips meeting softly once more as you moan into the kiss.

“Okay,” you whisper, running your hands down his arms, moving from between the kitchen counter and his body and onto the couch.

Grabbing your laptop off of the coffee table, you whip it open and weed through your emails, deleting the copious and redundant notifications from different stores regarding sales, special memberships, and the like. Shortly after, Matt makes his way from the kitchen to the seat next to you, returning your computer to where you initially picked it up before he slides you into his lap.

“Hi sweetheart,” he whispers, placing a kiss on your neck.

“Hi Matty,” you hum, snuggling into him. “What do you want to do tonight?”

“What do you want to do? We can pop in a movie, play a game—.”

“You didn’t bring any work home?” you ask, surprised that’s night is completely free—including his Deviling duties.

“Not tonight. I wanted to focus just on you tonight.”

“Mm, that’s sweet.”

“What do you have in mind for tonight, angel?”

You let out a sigh as you rest your head on his shoulder, thinking about the different cozy home activities you could do together when a thought crosses your mind.

“I guess tonight is a good of night as ever,“ you hum. 

“Angel?”

“I have an idea, but it’s a surprise.”

“You’ve managed to keep a surprise a secret?”

“Rude,” you chuckle, kissing his cheek as you move to turn and straddle his lap. “You stay right there, Mr. Murdock. And you swear to me on my boobs that you won’t use your senses to try and ruin my surprise.”

“You want me to swear on your boobs?”

“You know you love them. Swear on their softness that you won’t spoil the surprise.”

With a cheeky smirk, he spreads his large hands against your waist. 

“I swear I won’t—,” he says into your right boob through your sweater with a kiss, mirroring the action on the other breast, “—ruin your surprise.”

“Thank you,” you hum, running your fingers through his hair, kissing his forehead before you get up, moving to the bedroom and closing the sliding door. Moving to your side of the bed, you pull out a box from underneath mattress, moving to slide on the satin bra and panty set you got from a local boutique. With the bra straps on properly, you tie the long satin tails that act as cups into a nice big bow, mimicking the motion for the ties that are on the hips of the matching panties. Whipping your head up and down to revitalize your hair from the day, you take a deep breath before you open the door, expecting to see Matt on the sofa. 

“Matt?” you call as you move into the living space, looking around as you try to find where your boyfriend disappeared to into the apartment. “Matt, where ar—?”

“I need you to help me figure something out, sweetheart. Were you naughty or nice this year?”

Turning around in the dark apartment, your eyes finally focus at the top of the roof access staircase. In all his glory, Matt leans with a smirk against the old brick, bare chested with Santa pants of all things hanging low on his hips, the suspenders on the waist leaning haphazardly down, while a red fuzzy hat sits on his head.

“Your heart rate is telling me you might have made the naughty list this year, angel,” he says as his smirks grows, slowly descending the steps. 

“N-No,” you stutter. “I’m just . . . Surprised by the outfit.”

“Why?”

The incoherent stutters that fall from your lips only make Matt laugh as he makes his way over to you, resting his hands on your waist and pulling you in for a kiss before resting his forehead on yours. 

“Too much?” he whispers, his thumbs moving back and forth on your skin.

“No, not at all,” you tell him. “Like I said, I’m just surprised.”

“Why?” he tries again. 

“I didn’t know how you’d be about sexy Santa. Actually, I didn’t know how you’d feel about making anything Christmas related sexy.”

“Well, it’s a little odd. The pants are really nice and soft, though. And, the way I look at it, we’re not making the root of Christmas sexy, just a commercial element sexy. Now, let Santa unwrap his gift,” he whispers, his voice at a dangerously rich and gravely timbre, his hands slipping down over the globes of your ass, squeezing the exposed flesh.

“Mm, but I thought patience helps you get on the nice list?” you hum as you begin to place slow kisses onto his chest, pulling him by his dangling suspenders to keep him close as you step back toward the bedroom. “Patience is a virtue, after all.”

“Virtue, suggestion,” he chuckles, moving his hands up to the side of your face to kiss you. “Please?”

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” you smile against his lips as he lies you down on the mattress, pillows at your head. “Open me up, Matty.”

“Mm, thank you, sweetheart,” he hums, his large hands gliding across the surface of your thighs and spreading you open, allowing him to get closer into your body. As his hands move up, his thumbs swipe against the satin of my bra. “It’s such a pretty bow. Hate to ruin it.”

“I can guarantee you, the things underneath it are prettier and softer.”

Matt lets out a soft “Ah”, his smile growing wide on his tender expression before he kisses you, pressing soft embraces down from your lips to your neck, and finally to your chest before his teeth take hold of the ribbon’s tail and gently tug it undone. You let out a little gasp, partially from the cool air of the loft, partially from the way the satin drags along the sensitive skin. Instead of using his hands like you expect, Matt nuzzles his nose against the fleshy mounds, placing little kisses all over the supple skin. You moan softly as he embraces your breasts, leaving no centimeter of the skin untouched, his lips desperately chasing the fatty flesh as it moves around. You gasp when you feel his large, calloused fingers graze the side of your breast as his mouth catches the other one between his lips, sucking at the nipple.

“So good, Matty,” you whine, the hot breath through his nose fanning over your chest as he opens his eyes and tilts his head up, working to lock eyes with yours. The Santa hat remains on his head, but only slightly. “Baby . . .”

Matt slowly pulls off of your nipple, moving to leave wet kisses all over the rest of your chest and up your neck.

“Can I unwrap the rest of my gift, angel?” he gravels, his beard scratching against your skin.

“Of course, Matty. But there’s something I’d like to do first?”

Wrapping your legs around his waist, you switch your positions on the mattress, letting the bra slide down your arms and off of your body. As you flick it to the side, you move down Matt’s body, grazing your fingertips along his pants, slowly moving to peel them off of his body. He lifts his hips up in an effort to help, letting you slide the velvety fabric off so it can join your bra on the floor. But before you can bend down and take hold of Matt’s rock-hard cock, he stops you.

“Hold on, angel,” Matt hushes. Your eyebrows pull together in confusion as he twists to the side and rummages through his bedside drawer. When he lays his back back down, you have to work not to laugh at the sight before your eyes. 

“You are a stupendous dork,” you laugh, your smile so bright it lessens your view of him. 

“What? It’s Christmas rules—kiss what’s under the mistletoe,” he smirks as he dangles a fake sprig of the weed over his semi-hard cock.

“Well, I can’t upset Christmas rules,” you chuckle, kissing his tip and all the way down to the base, repeating the motions all over his length. Somewhere in your process, the mistletoe doesn’t get held as high before it’s eventually on the ground with out other pieces of clothes.

“(Y/N),” he breathes.

“Yeah, Matty?” you murmur against his base by the patch of small, dark curls on his skin. “Can I suck you off, Matty? There’s no more mistletoe.”

“I need your lips around me, angel. Please.”

With a long lick, you bring your lips back up to the tip and slowly take him in your mouth, having to be conscious of his girth. Each bob of my head brings you down a bit farther on his length until you’re roughly an inch and a half shy of taking him all the way.

“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re so good,” he praises as he gathers up your hair, making sure you don’t swallow any of your locks as you go up and down. “So good for me, angel.”

The head of his cock his the soft flesh of the back of your throat, coating it with his salty precum, the movements only making you gag slightly. He helps you create opportunities to readjust as you go down on him, wanting to make sure you’re comfortable as you work. As you breathe through your nose, you bring your hands down to fondle Matt’s heavy sack, making sure he’s thoroughly taken care of. Between your hand and your mouth, you can feel every last ridge and vein that will bring Matt pleasure, and you briefly wonder if this is even a fraction of what Matt feels—being able to sense every last thing around him. Maybe you just know his body well enough. Whatever it may be, Matt guides you up and off of him by your hair, allowing a long line of saliva to connect from his dick to your chin. He pulls you into a a deep kiss, the embrace wet, needy, and sloppy with passion. As you straddle his waist while out tongues go back and forth, you can’t help but grind into his gorgeously defined muscles, spreading the slick pooling in your satin panties all over the fabric. Matt’s hands slide down to the globes of your ass, squeezing the flesh before giving both cheeks a firm smack, the sound echoing in the spacious bedroom as the sting spreads across your skin. You bite down on his lip as you kiss as response, which only makes Matt moan into your mouth, repeating the movement with his hands once more before he leans forward, your back returning to the mattress while his hands slide around to spread your legs wide.

“Do you want me to eat with your panties on, angel?” he teases as he kisses and marks up your inner thighs. “Would you like that, angel? Or do you want my mouth on your pussy and my fingers in you?”

“It wouldn’t be much of a present if you didn’t unwrap the rest of it,” you hum, biting your bottom lip as you watch him worship your inner thighs.

Dragging his fingertips up the sides of your legs, he finds the bows and pulls them undone, his hands sliding your hips up so you’re slightly off of the mattress. He grasps your panties with his teeth and slides it away from your body, only briefly removing his hands from your legs to take the fabric and throw it aside. His large, calloused digits are quick to move back between your legs, two of his fingers grazing and expertly parting your soaked lips. Matt brings his mouth close to your core, enough for you to practically feel his lips on you, only for him to hover just far enough away from you. He lets out a shallow breath from his mouth, pulling a sound that is part wanton moan, part erotic pornography sounds from you, as he coats your heat with his. When he is satisfied with his work, his lips wrap right around your swollen clit, gently sucking as his tongue slips in every now and then while he works.

“Fuck,” you choke out as he devours you, his beard tickling and scratching at your thighs. “Matthew!”

He just hums into you, sliding two fingers into your core while his other hand wraps around your hips to keep you down as your body begins to writhe and buck uncontrollably. He moans into your dripping cunt, which only makes you cry out into the room louder. Matt moves his tongue and mouth faster while his fingers tickle and scratch your inner spongy walls as his mouth rips a violent orgasm from you. You scream out at the top of your lungs as your body arches off the mattress, an entire sheen of sweat spreading over your skin as Matt relentlessly drags out your orgasm until the contracting muscles of your uterus physically hurt.

“Matty, Matty, oh God, Matt,” you groan, sounding like a woman possessed as he pulls his fingers out of you and releases your clit from his mouth, a line of slick connecting your core to his lips before licking his fingers clean and giving the swollen bundle of nerves a few gentle kisses. Matt places a few kisses on your inner thighs before going straight up your body and to your lips, holding your face in his hands as you kiss one another deeply and passionately.

“More, Matty,” you moan into his lips, pulling at his bottom lip between your teeth. “This gift isn’t over til you cum, baby.”

Matt laughs so warm and happily, it’s like the sun is in the bedroom. 

“Whatever you say, angel. You are the gift giver, after all,” he affirms, his lips puckering all along your collarbone.

“Tell me how you want it, Matt. What position do you want, Matty?”

Matt licks a long line up your neck to the shell of your ear, his Santa hat no longer perched atop his head. 

“I want you under me, on your back, your legs as far up as they can go, while I fuck you over and over,” Matt whispers in your hear, his voice deep and seductive in its commanding tone. “Can you do that for me, angel?”

“Yes, Matthew,” you breathe.

“Good girl,” he tells me with a harsh squeeze on my hips, his hands sliding back around your legs and bringing them as high up and as close to your chest as your body will allow. Matt slaps his cock repeatedly on your slick, swollen lips before he holds his dick steady as he pushes in, the angle of your legs making everything tighter and making you feel everything on a new level, making the feeling so extraordinary and increasing the pleasure. Bent in half like this, Matt easily hits your back wall and has no problem pounding into you over and over once he gets the angle just right. His strong arms help hold your legs in place, his hands cradling your neck, thumb on your cheeks as he brings his mouth to yours, kissing you deeply and repeatedly as he hits the special spongey spot in you again and again. Your hands grip his muscly arms, pressing little red and angry half-moon shapes of your fingernails into his fair and hairy skin. 

“So fucking good, angel,” he grunts into your mouth. “Fuck, s’tight and wet.”

“God, you’re so big!” you whine.

“God isn’t here, angel. Just me, my cock, and your tight cunt.”

“Ma—aahhh! Just like that, Matty, right there!”

The way that Matt’s pelvis slams into the back of your thighs is insane, hitting every right spot over and over again as you start to see stars.

“Sounds like you’re close again, angel,” he grunts. “Are you gonna cum for me again?”

“Mmm!” you whine.

“Words, babygirl.”

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum!” you cry out.

“Squeeze my cock, angel. Cum for me.”

With one more hard thrust in just the right spot, you have another earth-shattering orgasm at the hands of your boyfriend. His grunts and the way his hips begin to falter tell you that he’s not going to last much longer if he keeps snapping his hips like that.

“S-Stay inside me,” you beg, holding onto his shoulders. “Fu—Cum inside me.”

Matt’s face contorts, his mouth hanging open and his brows furrowing in pleasure as he moans loudly, hitting deep and releasing his large load. You lie on the bed panting, impossibly close to one another as you both come back down to earth from your cosmic highs.  

“Holy shit,” you breathe before you tilt your chin up and press a kiss to his pink, swollen lips. 

“I know,” he chuckles with a little grin.

With a few more kisses, he leans back and pulls out to unfold you. As he does, you can feel his cum dribble out of your hole.

“Fuck, that smells nice, you and me together like that” Matt breathes as his thumbs rubs back and forth on your legs. “You’re so beautiful, angel.”

“You’re not bad yourself, there, Murdock.” Taking his hand in yours, you pull him back down on the mattress with you. “Did you like your gift?”

“I loved it,” he smiles, rolling into you for a kiss.

“I mean, I still have an actual gift for you, not just amazing sex.”

“Aw, you shouldn’t have,” he teases. “I love you.”

“I love you more. But I do have a question, though.”

“Mm?”

“Do you think we just got ourselves put on the naughty list for all of that?”

The room is silent before you both burst out in laughter and snuggle into one another. 

“I think an exception can be made for us—we were doing something nice for one another.”

“A lawyer through and through, you are.”

“Merry Christmas, (Y/N).”

“Merry Christmas, Matt.”

Permanent Taglist: @majesticavenger​ @steampowerednightvaler​ @themusingsofmany @just-the-hiddles​ @toozmanykids​ @dangertoozmanykids101 @clints-worldavengers @theburningbookshop​ @itwasthereaminuteago​ @peter1ismybrother @hellskitchens-whore​​ @dpaccione​

[luxurijh]

jaehyun fanfics recommendation.

last update: 25 dec 2022 (merry xmas!)

disclaimer! these works belong to the respective authors and are not mine. i will continously update this post as i found more and more gems (read: jae fic) on the internet).

warning! most of the works are containing smut aka not safe for work aka explicit sexual contents, so minors PLEASE do not engage.

some of fics are in indonesian (i'll give it a note).

you're welcome to message me if you have any jaehyun fics recommendation (i'll put them here if i like it).

here we go!

One-shots.

all these years. by @domjaehyun. jaehyun x female reader. fluff, angst, smut, slowburn. college!au. childhood friend to lover!au. how does your relationship with jaehyun stand the test of time? note: i LOVE this soooo much! the slowburn drives me nuts but jaehyun is SO fucking flirty i wanna punch his face.

domaine de la romanée. by @heartau. jaehyun x female reader. angst, smut, slowburn. richkid!au. warning: very, very, very explicit sexual content. even the most pure become tainted when their eyes meet his. this was doomed from the start; you knew it was dangerous, you knew it was bad - but all those thoughts left your mind the second he made you feel good. 

dive. by @yougotthatbilly. jaehyun x female reader. smut. fratboy!au, college!au. warning: oiud smoking.

sleep well, princess. by @anashins. jaehyun x female reader. ft. big brother!taeyong. fluff, angst, romance, smut, slow burn. big brother's bestfriend!au, childhood friend-to-lover!au.

hot girl bummer. by @domjaehyun. jaehyun x female reader. smut. tw: dubcon, potentially triggering. you hate your brother's bestfriend.

team captain. by @smileysuh. jaehyun x female reader. smut, crack. fratboy!au, college!au. jaehyun is a notorious lady killer, everyone wants him. except for you, yuta's bestfriend.

mr.jung. by @domjaehyun. jaehyun x female reader. smut. ceo!jaehyun. secretary!reader.

kating ganteng. by lanlunanit. jaehyun x female oc. fluff, angst. college!au. tw: car crash, potentially triggering. written in indonesian. fics in chat format.

wine, vinyls, and flannels. by teenfinite123. jaehyun x rose. nctpink. angst. romance. leaving a friend's crowded apartment party, playing vinyls, and drinking cheap wine at 1 am.

please stay. by Diana_1203. jaehyun x rose. nctpink. angst, romance. for she was just a mere princess who was head over heels for the brave warrior.

Chaptered.

Completed.

ethereal. by @celestialmark. jaehyun x female reader. fluff, slice of life, slow burns. he was the living definition of ethereal, and his beauty shone the most on the inside.

aurora. sequel of ethereal by @celestialmark. jaehyun x female reader. fluff, angst, slice of life, slow burns. even when you were in the middle of breaking his heart, he still made the conscious decision to see the best in you. note: i love this masterpiece SOOOOO fucking much! so much feeling that's wrecking my heart (i'm SO glad it has a happy ending). i hate how jaehyun is so surreal, too beautiful to be true. wishing we have this kind of jaehyun at least one in our live.

On-going.

secrets of the hill. by @baobaojng. jaehyun x female reader. angst, fluff. 1800's jaehyun!au, arranged marriage!au. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6? inactive. in the present day you are confused; you do not know who you are and you find yourself on an impossible quest to find out— until you wake up in the 1800’s, engaged to a hauntingly beautiful and uptight man who tries to figure out why the girl he’s been betrothed to has drastically changed. note: i love this fic sooooooooo much and it makes me sad the last time the author updated this fic was back then in 2020 ;;

[goodluckclove]

So apparently when I drink enough to start posing real questions (such as "what spec fiction author would be the most fun to party with"), my body reacts poorly and I end up with insomnia. I've been lying in bed for about four and a half hours just pondering before I realized I'm an adult and I can just change locations.

I'm in the living room now. Bob seems happy for the attention. And I'd like to share my central ponder of the night, centered around how much of a bummer it is that like most of the online queer centered spaces I've seen consist of rampant in-fighting.

Stay with me here. Seriously this is a long one I'm very tired.

I'm not coming from some nonsense centrist place of no conflict ever. I just feel like so much queer conversation I see is either vague blanket support, or a massive thread that somehow starts in the middle of an argument. And as someone who is not necessarily old, but definitely not active online, this is super isolating.

I think it's a really interesting anthropological concept that as queer culture develops it becomes more niche and simultaneously more vague. That's cool. The downside is that I am now the human embodiment of that Griffin Mcelroy meme about not knowing what something is and being too afraid to ask. And every time I see someone who is clearly super passionate about some queer take, I really want to ask why they think what they do or how they came to that conclusion, but holy shit that feels dangerous.

Like it's not an immediate invalidation to ask why. More modern queer identities are so varied there's a very good chance two people experiencing the same circumstances might have two radically different reasons and ways to get there. I am at the point where I no longer think anyone can speak for our collective queer experience unless they use the broadest of terms. I'm genuinely just grieving that we're immediately giving each other shit over variations instead of getting together and comparing notes.

Oh but Google is free - fuck off. Like straight up. That shit flies for the surface level information and it's crazy to me that more people don't acknowledge that. Google is free for people who think there's only one intersex variation. Google is free for people who really want to know if scissoring is real. At this point in society there are multiple generations of queer people (or people in general) with multiple senses of online validity. Someone who grew up in the 90s might trust a more traditional source for information rather than a google doc or Tumblr post or reddit thread or tiktok, and by that logic they aren't really going to be convinced by any Googling they do for a lot of new cultural shifts.

Like I was a teen with shit opinions. I was snarky about "transtrenders" who used neopronouns. Not online or to anyone - I wasn't a complete dipshit - but I definitely thought it. If I posted about it online I'd say all the regular arguments and the opposing side would say all their regular arguments and we'd block each other and accomplish nothing.

Which would be a massive shame because one of my shining qualities is my ability to admit when I'm wrong. There's a much better alternate reality in which I did post about how people who think you don't need dysphoria to be trans are cringe, and some kind trans person asked why I thought that. Because then I'd say something like because everyone wants to be trans that doesn't mean you're just allowed to say you are.

And then they'd probably be like yeah maybe you should talk to more people about this and consider where you're coming from, saving me like ten years of gatekeeping myself from my own identity.

Like I tried the Googling thing for something niche that I'm curious about. I learned about aplatonicism recently and was like huh. New info. But every post I see in the aplatonic tag is already angry about being aplatonic so I'm not about to take space with my own curiosity.

But after scrolling a Reddit thread I am more confused than ever. I don't know what a squish is, friends. I mean, I know the definition - but my brain doesn't think of human relationships like that. People were talking about having friends that they love but they don't have squish love or friend love, also aplatonic describes some autistic people, also also aplatonic is a word specifically used for aromantic people who don't want QPRs. I don't think any of this is wrong. I do think that it is so much information that it cancels out in my brain, and now I kind of just think aplatonic is a word that means things sometimes. And that's not what I want.

I'm being self indulgent because I don't think anyone is reading this far and I'm feeling relaxed because I took an Adderall earlier today and I feel like I can actually think for the first time in months. I want to ask some aplatonic people what they think "friend love" is supposed to be compared to what they feel for their friends, if they have them. If they don't have a need for friends, I am very curious to know what they think about the friend list function on virtually every social media website and game. Like this is not a bit. I've been awake in bed for almost five hours and it occurred to me that might be a bummer. Maybe some people use them out of convenience, but I think it would be interesting to meet a person who's so staunch in their philosophy that they just don't. I feel like there's probably a lot of aplatonic people who are like just straight up not online and don't even know that's their vibe.

I want to ask some loveless aros what they consider to be positive emotions or motivations in their lives. Like I'm so full of love for virtually anything that the concept of not having that emotion across the board makes me wonder if something else fills the space. Like do loveless aros love ideas? Do they love their hobbies? I don't think aromantics are sociopaths at all, I've just seen people who both say that loveless is reclaiming a slur and also defining a lack of love and I'd like to know more about both.

I saw a post on my feed about how anyone should be allowed to get gender affirming surgery even if they aren't trans. I don't disagree. That argument has honestly never occured to me and I really wish I could've asked why someone would want that. Because "a cis man might want a vagina" is valid, but doesn't fly in terms of actual logistics. You have to make so many appointments and wait for so long and answer so many questions. I'm aware my opinion on this is heavily biased by being Agender and actively ridding my body of as many secondary sexual characteristics as quickly as possible. I am not immune to the propaganda of my own identity. I would just like to have an in-depth conversation with a cis man that wants a vagina and ask why and also if they think it's worth the maintenance. Because, like, there IS maintenance.

I'm not doing it to judge. If this hypothetical man is like "yeah I know I'd have to keep up with the upkeep and maybe wear hormone patches from now on, but structurally it makes sense for my view of my own manhood", I'd be like "that's really interesting, I considered adding a penis to my architecture but then decided that it would probably be a sensory nightmare for me. I'm surprised so many cis men can ride a bike."

And then maybe he'd say "where do you think cis men put their pensises when they ride a bike?" To which I would say "I don't know the mechanics of a penis and at this point the thought of learning in which direction I'd have to stick my hypothetical one makes me anxious."

And then he'd kind of scoff bemusedly, and we'd go out together for banh mis.

I think at this point in my rant I'm realizing that my major issue here is that the world as a whole is not friendly to genuine curiosity. I also get triggered by hate bait, and it bothers me that I can't pull the subject of the cringe fuel aside and be like what are you doing? Like, not judgementally. I want you to explain to me what you are doing and why it's important to you.

I don't think it'll convince me every time, but I'm pretty sure I'd be like "ah, okay. Makes sense." And then move on with a greater understanding of the growth of humanity.

And also we can get banh mis.

I really want a bahn mi but I can't bike to get one or else my guts will fall out. Gender affirming surgery is a mistake for the sole reason that it prevents me from yummy Vietnamese sandwiches.

Kidding. I'm kidding, not having a uterus anymore has been pretty cool.

The sun came up.

Fuck.

[runawrites-blog]

Until The Break Of Dawn Ch. 2 (Josh Washington x Reader)

Summary: You arrive at Blackwood Mountain but you quickly realise tensions are running high. Josh tries to reassure you. (Female Reader) Warnings: Fighting, Innuendos to Smut, Discussions of the disappearance of the Washington twins and Reader's father, Specific warnings will be posted in the notes of each chapter, No Y/N, Petnames (Honey) Author's Note: You can find the previous chapter here. Crossposted on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49644949/chapters/125303164#workskin

Snow was still falling when you sat down next to Jessica on the bench outside the cable car station. A year after the disappearance of Hannah and Beth you were back at the lodge. It was strange to be up there without the two of them or without being there as part of the search parties. This time you were there to have fun, mostly at the request of your boyfriend Josh. Though it worried you that after everything he still insisted on celebrating up on the mountain again you wanted to support him and if he was sure this getaway in honor of his sisters would help him, you would join.

As a matter of fact, you hadn’t left his side a lot during the past year. The disappearance and presumed death of his sisters had been understandably detrimental to his mental health and you wanted to be there for him. You knew better than any of his other friends how losing a loved one and never finding closure could devastate someone, so you made sure to support him throughout everything. By now, you had practically moved in with Josh.

“Your boyfriend isn’t coming to pick you up at the cable car?” Jess asked, leaning forward to smirk at you and snapping you out of your thoughts. “I thought Josh was way more romantic than that.”

“Why would he come pick me up?” You asked with an amused chuckle. “I know the lodge and the mountain like the back of my hand. I can get there by myself.”

“I just thought Josh would come and get you.” Jess said, grinning at you a little. “After all, he’s so cute with you and you two always hang around each other.”

“It’s fine. He said he has some things left to set up and prepare.” You explained and looked at the cable car that was approaching. “And besides, Mike will take us up the mountain, right?”

“Right.” Jess smiled before she turned to you in question. “So have you thought of my request? I need to go on this dumb camping trip for my college class and I really want you to come with me. You love camping! You barely went on any trips last year.”

“I haven’t thought of it, actually. I know I used to love camping and the outdoors.”

“But?”

“But I had a lot of work to do and you know that it just always reminds me of my father and-- well, after what happened last year I spent a lot of time helping Josh, so I didn’t have much time to think of your requests anyway.“

Jess leaned in closer to you, resting her head against your shoulder and pouting up at you. “That’s a bummer. Remember our camping trips in Highschool? We used to snatch the van from Josh’s parents and head to the mountains or the lake. And you made that impressive fire from scratch. I think that got Josh all hot and bothered. He never helped around the campsite because he was too busy watching you.”

You snorted at that, smiling to yourself as you remembered that camping trip. “Yeah, I remember. Chris and Mike were so mean, teasing him about it all the time.”

“He was so into you.”

“I know that.” You couldn’t help but laugh at Jessica’s words. “That’s kind of the reason he asked me out back in Junior Year.”

Jess made a face as she remembered that day. “His promposal was weird, though.”

A smile tore your face as you remembered how he had asked you to prom by playing a small SAW inspired game with you that ended in you having to place your hand in a suspicious-looking box to retrieve a letter with the question on it.

“Well, SAW was the movie we watched together when I came over to his place for the first time after we met each other in Middleschool.” You explained and looked back at Jess, chuckling to yourself. “I thought it was amazing, even though that box at the end actually weirded me out at first. But Josh would never hurt me.”

“No, he wouldn’t.”

That’s when someone called out your and Jessica’s name, making both of you look up and turn in the direction of the noise to find Mike approaching. Jess got up quickly and embraced Mike, kissing him passionately for a few seconds. When they had parted, Mike gave you a little wave and chuckled.

“Hey, long time no see.”

“It’s great to see you again, Mike.” You said in earnest, approaching him and Jess. “Was your drive here alright with all the snow?”

Mike nodded before looking around. “Did you not come here with Josh?”

“Josh wanted to come here early to get the cabin ready for us and I had to drop something off at a friend’s place before getting here.” You explained before clapping your hand once to get everyone’s attention. “I suggest we get going, alright?”

“Excited to see your boyfriend?”

“Of course.” You smiled brightly at the prospect of getting to see Josh again. “I haven’t seen him in over a week and I definitely missed him.”

Jess smiled at you before her smile morphed into a smirk. “You will have ample opportunity to cozy up with him in front of the fireplace, don’t worry.”

“I know that but I’m also looking forward to seeing my friends again. I have seen neither Ash nor Emily in months. And I haven’t seen Sam in even longer, let alone Chris and Matt!”

Mike chuckled at your words. “And I thought you and Sam go camping together a lot.”

“We used to but I was rather preoccupied after what happened last year. I was with Josh a lot so I could try to help him and his family. The last time I saw Sam was when we helped the search party in February but then her mother got into that car accident and she had to help her out. But you already know about that.” You sighed as you remembered all that had happened in the past year before looking up at your two friends again. “Let’s get up the hill and find everyone else, alright?”

“What are we waiting for?” Jess grinned, making a show of rubbing her arms and inching close to Mike. “It’s freezing out here and I want to get into a warm cabin where I can curl up with Mike.”

With that, the three of you set out and made your way up the mountain, trying to ignore the biting winds and freezing temperatures. Mike kept Jess close as you led the way, knowing the mountain inside out after spending so much time on it during the last year. Twenty minutes and a small snowball fight later you finally arrived at the top of the mountain, on the path that led to the lodge where Sam, Chris, and Josh were already waiting.

When your eyes locked with Josh’s a smile tore your face and he reciprocated it before beckoning you over with a wave of his hand. You didn’t have to be asked twice because you made a dash for his arms, falling into them and wrapping yours around his neck.

“I haven’t seen you in days, Sweetheart!” You smiled brightly, leaning up to press a few kisses to his cheeks before eventually pecking him on the lips. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” Josh said softly, his hand finding the small of your back to pull you close. “Did you have a safe trip up? Weather services predicted a storm.”

Your soft smile only grew at him inquiring about your well-being and you pressed yet another kiss to his cheek. “I got here safely. I just hope my car doesn’t completely freeze over during our getaway.”

“I gave you the keys to the parking garage at the base of the mountain for that exact reason. It should be fine in there.”

“Josh, do you know how cold it is in that garage?” You snorted, leaning your head against his shoulder. “My feet nearly froze to the floor when I had to stop walking for two seconds to make sure my car was locked.”

Josh laughed at your joke and raised an eyebrow at you. “Honey, I think that was just a sign for you to hurry up and get up here so I could finally see you again.”

“Speaking of which, how many days did you spend here all alone while getting the cabin ready?”

“Two.”

“Weren’t you lonely up here? Or scared?” You asked softly before drawing back so you could eye your boyfriend for a few seconds. “Josh, Sweetheart, did you remember to take your meds while you were here on your own? I know that you sometimes get a bit caught up in what you’re doing and forget things like that.”

“Of course I remembered, Honey. Now let’s get to the lodge.”

“Good idea!” Jess exclaimed as she approached you two. “It’s already so dark outside.”

“And cold.”

Josh chuckled at your addition about the temperatures and rubbed your arm a bit to warm you up, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple. “Don’t worry, Honey, we’ll be warm and cosy inside in no time!”

“Do we still get the guest cabin?” Mike inquired and Josh nodded at him.

“As promised, you and Jess get the guest cabin but the key is inside the lodge so we’ll have to get there first.”

“Then let’s hurry. I want to take Jess to the cabin.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Josh smirked and pulled you a little closer as you all began to walk. “I want to take my wonderful girlfriend to the master’s bedroom as much as you want to take Jess to the cabin.”

You looked up at that, chuckling at Josh’s words and pressing close to his side as you walked by his side. “I’d be up for sharing some body heat for sure.”

“I can provide that!”

“Guys, can you not?” Chris groaned, glaring jokingly at you and Josh. “You are the fucking worst!”

“Sorry.” You giggled before looking back at Josh. “Anyways, have you prepared everything? Have you turned up the heat and hot water? Please, tell me you have.”

“I think so.” Josh mused. “If not, we’ll just do it later. It doesn’t take too long.”

Sam turned, now walking backward so she could talk to you and Josh. “I am just looking forward to that awesome bathtub you have, Josh.”

You chuckled at that, nodding along. “It’s so huge and comfortable. You never have to feel cramped when you take a bath there.”

“Exactly!” Sam agreed enthusiastically before looking up at Josh with a genuine smile. “It’s great to see you again.”

“Likewise.” Josh reciprocated her smile before frowning a little. “How is your mother?”

“She’s doing a lot better. Her leg has healed up nicely but she has to do physical therapy now.” Sam then sighed and averted her eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t join any more of the search parties after her accident.”

Josh quickly shook his head and waved her off. “Come on, Sammy, you know I wouldn’t blame you for that. Your mother needed you. Besides that, my girlfriend and Chris helped, so it’s not like I was on my own. I don’t blame you.”

“I’m sorry we didn’t find anything.” Chris said suddenly, voice full of guilt. “I really am.”

You nodded at his words, guilt washing over you. “I still cannot believe we didn’t find a thing -- no footsteps, no phones, no clothes, nothing. Josh, I’m so sorry that we didn’t manage to find anything.”

“Can we please talk about something else?” Josh asked and the pain seeping into his voice almost made you tear up. “Please, Honey?”

“Of course. Whatever you need, Sweetheart.” You agreed quickly and thought of what else to talk about for a few seconds. “You said there’s a storm coming in. I hope we don’t get snowed in and if we do, I hope you got enough food up here to tide us over until we get rescued.”

Chris nodded along to your words, joining in on your quest to distract his friend. “If we get cabin fever, who do you think we should eat first, Josh?”

“You.”

“Rude!”

Josh laughed at Chris’ answer, letting go of you so he could fish out his keys from his pockets. But he had no luck at unlocking the door and after a few seconds of fiddling with the lock, he dropped his hands to the side and swore quietly.

“What?” Chris leaned closer so he could look over his shoulder at the lock. “You good? What’s up?”

Josh shook his head in agitation and looked back at his friend. “I can’t get the door open. The lock is iced over.”

You quickly pressed past him to examine the lock, finding it indeed frozen over. “Damn it, what do we do now? It’s freezing out here!”

“I second that statement! And speaking of how cold it is, how are you not freezing in a flannel and a vest, Josh?” Sam joked and eyed the older man. “Seriously, I’m freezing just looking at you.”

“And your skirt is any better?” Josh snorted, waving her off. “I’m wearing a long-sleeved shirt underneath the flannel. And besides that, I tend to run hot.”

“You do. And I would really love to cozy up with you by the fire.” You began, crossing your arms to get warmer. “Josh, what do we do now?”

“Don’t worry, Honey. We’ll find a way inside.” Josh said, giving you a reassuring smile before making a face. “The problem is, I don’t have the keys to any of the other doors.”

“But there are windows we could get in through, right?” Chris threw in and Josh chuckled at the suggestion.

“Are you saying we should break in?”

“I don’t think it’s technically breaking in if you own the place.”

“Not if I don’t report you.” Josh joked, making you laugh a little. “Alright, Chris and l will go around the back and find another way inside. Lead the way, Cochise.”

Sam nodded at their explanation. “Be careful, guys.”

“There’s got to be ice everywhere on the ground.” You warned them. “Don’t fall.”

“Relax, we’ll be careful.” Chris promised with a confident grin. “I’ll watch my step.”

“Promise to watch out.” You insisted, earning yourself an affectionate eye-roll from your boyfriend before he leaned down to press a small kiss to your lips, making you frown. “I’m serious, Josh.”

“I promise.”

The two of them left. You stayed back with everyone else. While Mike and Jess planned out their route to the guest cabin you and Sam made conversation about camping trips, planning the next trip you could go on together. The two of you had just started thinking of dates when Josh came back, proclaiming that Chris had managed to get inside and was now working on opening the door. Within the next ten minutes, Chris had opened the door, allowing you all to get inside and a wolverine to jump out. Much to his dismay no one else was as startled about the animal as he was.

Sam was the first to reach the living room and she immediately began to look for firewood. Josh followed close behind her and quickly got to work starting a fire while you watched from next to him. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Chris approaching while Mike and Jess flopped down on one of the couches.

“Hey, Chris, where’s the lighter?”

“Here you go!” The other man answered Josh’s question and chucked a lighter at him, chuckling as his friend fumbled to catch it. “Hurry up with the fire, please.”

Josh did quick work lightening the fire before standing back up, proudly examining his work. As soon as he was standing, you draped yourself over his back, making your boyfriend chuckle and turn to embrace you.

“Let’s sit down and wait for Matt, Ashley, and Emily to arrive, okay?”

“Good idea!” Jessica exclaimed and snuggled closer to Mike. “We can go to the guest cabin once we’ve warmed up a bit.”

Mike nodded in agreement, pulling Jess closer. “Great plan there, Babe.”

Everyone else soon followed Mike and Jessica’s example of reclining on the couches. Sam sat down on the other couch, pulling her legs up to her body as she waited for the fire to heat up the room. Chris sat down next to her, striking up a quiet conversation and Josh pulled you into his lap. While everyone made small talk, you felt Josh slowly putting his head down on your shoulder, nuzzling your neck. You turned your head to look at him.

“You okay there, Sweetheart?”

“Of course.” Josh nodded absentmindedly. “Just a bit cold.”

“Told you that you’d get cold in that vest.” Sam snorted from her spot.

Josh rolled his eyes jokingly and cuddled closer to you. “Honey, did you drop your book off at your friend’s place or did you not have the time?”

“Yes, I did. Eve said she’d read the draft as soon as she’s got time.”

“Wait, you wrote a damn book?” Jess looked up, laughing a little in surprise. “Way to tell me about it!”

“Would you even want to read a horror novel?”

“No way!” Jess chuckled but leaned in closer nonetheless. “What is it about, though?”

“It’s about a group of friends who go on a hiking trip but they end up lost in a forest that is much more alive than they think it is.” You explained, starting to run your fingers up and down Josh’s arm. “Basically the forest is a giant life form that messes with them and feeds on them. It has some Cosmic Horror elements but it also has a lot of focus on their interpersonal relationships. I’m just conflicted on how to end it.”

“How so?” Mike asked before grinning. “Just have them be absorbed by the life form!”

“I was thinking of whether or not they should get a happy ending. I really want them to have a happy ending but I feel like after everything they go through during the course of the story it will be hard for them to have one.”

Sam eyed you in interest, frowning at your words. “Why? I personally believe that almost everyone can overcome their trauma and issues with enough help and support. Why not the characters?”

“I mean, they already bring a lot of baggage with them going into the story. One of the guys has recently escaped an abusive relationship which is actually why he and his friends decide to get away for a few days. Then there’s this one girl whose mother died on a camping trip a few years prior to the main plot, leaving that girl contemplating on whether or not she even wants to join her friends.”

Jess swallowed at that, looking back at Mike for a few seconds before speaking up. “That is eerily similar to what happened to your father.”

“Jess.” Mike chided quietly. “Don’t talk to her about that right now.”

Josh sighed and pressed a few kisses to the back of your neck, tightening his hold on you. “Honey, that does sound eerily similar to what happened to your father. Are you sure you’re fine?”

“I’ll be fine.” You dismissed his worries quickly, wanting to be there for him now rather than forcing him to support you. “Don’t worry about me.”

Josh nodded slowly, pressing another kiss to your neck. “But besides the character in your book having a similar backstory to what happened to your father, you’ve seemed a bit stressed and down lately. You know I’m always there for you and if you want to talk to me in private, we can leave for a few minutes.”

“Josh, I’m fine. I’ve just been a bit stressed lately and with everything going on, I haven’t been able to see my mother a lot which she went off on me for. But we talked it all out and we’ll be fine.”

“I’m sorry you had to spend so much time with me.”

“None of that. I’ll always gladly spend time with you and of course, I also joined the search parties.” You carefully turned around in his lap so you were facing him. “Apart from the fact that I want to help you and your family, your sisters were my friends, as well. I wanted to help.”

“But your mother--”

“Just felt neglected. The anniversary of my father’s disappearance was two weeks ago and around that time she felt neglected and alone, so she went off on me for spending a lot of time with you.” You explained, not wanting Josh to feel guilty. “That wasn’t your fault and we talked to out.”

“That’s good.”

“I love you, Josh.”

“And I love you, Honey.”

“Gross!”

Everyone quieted their small conversations to look up at the door where you found Emily, giving you and Josh a little grin as she walked in with Matt behind her and Ashley trailed after them. When Emily spotted Jess, her face fell.

“Jess is here already, I see.”

You turned back around in Josh’s lap, watching as Emily and Jess started to bicker almost immediately. Looking around the room, you could see that Chris was uncomfortable, Mike seemed at a loss of what to do and Sam was annoyed. She proclaimed that she was going to take a bath and quickly left just as Matt tried to defuse the situation. While the fight only continued despite the man’s best efforts, Chris quickly got up and greeted Ashley before grabbing her by the hand and dragging her after him.

“We’re looking for an Ouija board! See you later!”

They were gone just as quickly as Sam had been and the fight just seemed to get worse with Emily and Jess throwing insult after insult at each other. Mike was quiet, almost seeming interested in the fight rather than in breaking it up. The arms around your waist tightened a little and you could tell Josh was uncomfortable with this situation, as well. Before you could say anything, Matt managed to diffuse the situation enough for the two women to stop going off at each other. Josh used that moment of silence to gently move you off his lap and stand up.

“How about we break this whole situation up a bit? We can spend more time together during the rest of the weekend. But for now, I think we all need to settle in. Mike, why don’t you take the guest cabin I told you about?”

“Sure.” Mike nodded and quickly got up. “Come on, Jess. I’ll show you how far it is from here on the balcony while Josh gets the keys.”

The two of them left and Emily suddenly looked up at Matt in shock, making you frown and wonder what was going on. Matt seemed just as confused as he raised an inquisitive eyebrow at his girlfriend.

“Matt, where’s my bag?”

“What bag?”

“The smaller one I brought!”

Emily went on about where she had bought it, trying to get Matt to go back to the cable car with her to get it, and eventually, the man relented. They excused themselves and left. And with Josh gone to get the key, you were alone in the living room. You took the opportunity to look outside, moving toward the window to take in the beautiful scenery.

Snow was still falling and in the pale moonlight, the hills twinkled beautifully. A small smile made its way to your face as you spotted a bird, sitting on a nearby railing and grooming itself. As you watched the bird, you spotted something moving in the woods out of the corner of your eyes. Your head snapped in the direction of the figure and you strained your eyes to see what it was but all you could make out was a large shape making its way through the treeline. It couldn’t be any of your friends because none of them had left for that area of the mountain and it didn’t look like an animal. Josh had told you you’d all be alone on the mountain that weekend so you worried whether or not it was a person sneaking around the woods.

You were ripped from your thoughts by arms wrapping around your waist from behind, making you wince and almost jump in surprise. Josh chuckled behind you and buried his face at your neck. You could feel his smirk but you couldn’t help but relax in his arms.

“Did I scare you there, Honey?”

“Don’t sneak up on me!” You chastised him, turning in his arms to look at him. “Are you alright? I’m sorry this weekend started with everyone fighting.”

“I’m fine.” Josh said, drawing you closer to him. “Are you alright? I mean, they all talked about your father.”

You quickly waved him off, cuddling closer to him. “I’m fine, don’t worry. This weekend is about you, Josh.”

“I was just a bit worried because I know you and your mother have been fighting a lot lately, you had to help me and I didn’t want to be a burden so--”

“Josh, you are never a burden, you hear me? I love you and I helped you because I care about you. I was there for you because you’re the love of my life.” You promised before leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. “Whatever you need, I’m here for you.”

“Thank you, Honey.”

“Did you give Mike the key?”

“They’re on their way to the guest cabin. Sam is taking a bath, Chris and Ashley are exploring the house and Emily is dragging Matt to the cable car. I can finally make good on my promise to cozy up with you.” Josh purred, leaning closer to you and pressing a kiss to your jawline. “And I can make up for scaring you.”

You chuckled at that, wrapping your arms around Josh’s neck. “I’d love nothing more than for you to take me to your bedroom but I have to ask a question first: Are we alone this weekend?”

“Yes, no one else is on the mountain.” Josh said, leaning his head down onto your shoulder, pressing small kisses to your neck. “Why?”

“I was just looking outside and I saw someone moving around the woods. It didn’t look like an animal and more like a person, so I’m getting a little worried now that you’ve said we are supposed to be alone.” You mumbled, feeling fear overtake you as you inched closer to Josh. “What if it’s someone dangerous?”

Josh shook his head at your worries, pulling you a little closer. “I don’t want to dismiss your fears, but I’m sure it was nothing dangerous. It’s really dark outside, so maybe you mistook an animal for a person.”

You mulled his words over in your head, trying to remember if the figure you had seen could have been an animal. It hadn’t moved much and it had been big, so perhaps it had been an animal, obscured by the darkness outside. Besides that, you trusted Josh and you knew he wouldn’t put you in danger, so his assurance that it had been nothing dangerous calmed you down. He wasn’t dismissing your fears but calming them. Josh thought it was nothing to worry about and you trusted him.

“You’re right. Maybe I just mistook a deer for something else. There are dozens of them all over the mountain.” You nodded, leaning up to give Josh a kiss. “But just so I can feel a bit safer, we have to remember to lock the doors once we all go to bed tonight, alright?”

“Of course, Honey.” Josh promised before letting his hand slide underneath the knitted sweater you were wearing before groaning playfully. “It’s so hard to undress you when you wear so many layers! A knitted sweater and a long-sleeved shirt?”

“I get cold easily.” You shrugged and ran your hands down his biceps. “Come on, let’s take this to your room before everyone else gets back and demands your attention.”

Josh nodded and let go of you, taking you by the hand. “Now you’re the one demanding my attention and I love it. Don’t worry, I’ll gladly take you to the bone zone.”

“Ever the romantic.”

“Sorry, Honey. If you want more romance I can hunt down some candles. We have more than enough around here.” Josh said, nodding toward the kitchen. “But I don’t know if we have matches here.”

“I can help with that.” You grinned and pulled out a lighter from your pocket, holding the little silver object up to his eye level. “Always prepared.”

Josh couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “And you think using the lighter your father gifted you for family camping trips to light candles so we can sleep with one another is a good way to honor his memory?”

“I was joking about you not being romantic and wanting candles, you know that, right?” You chuckled and stashed the lighter away. “I don’t even know why I brought the lighter in the first place, really.”

“Because it was a gift from your father and he gave it to you for trips you two used to go on together before he passed away.” Josh finished, pulling you closer but being much gentler this time, reaching up to stroke your cheek. “I get it. I can’t part from anything Hannah and Beth gifted me over the years. If it’s one of the last things you have from a person, it’s hard to even leave it at home.”

You gave him a sad smile, leaning your head against his shoulder. “You’re so understanding. I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.” Josh responded, pressing a kiss to your head. “Listen, I know I kept being touchy with you and talking about taking you to the bone zone but if you’re not in the mood, especially after this conversation, I totally get it.”

“I’m alright, don’t worry. I missed you, Josh. I still want this if you still want this.”

“I do.”

“Then take me to your room.”

[jakowskis]

torchwood fanfic resources

so i'm a chronic livejournal archaeologist, and fixating on 2000s media is particularly fun for me because it means i get to go digging on lj / dw / old fanfic forums. below you'll find some of the excavations from my torchwood fixation (give it up for month 6!) it's pretty much got every comm i've ever stumbled upon and found useful, or thought others would find useful. it's largely fanfic-oriented, though there's some more generalized comms, too. i hope you guys enjoy!

i was originally going to include a link to my reclist on this post as well, but it's still a wip, so i'll just post that separately in the future.

general disclaimer: most of the content here is from 2006-2013 or so. period-typical attitudes may pop up in places. i'm not sure if most modern tw fans have witnessed the original fandom at all, but i felt a need to say this anyway, because i've seen some icky stuff. i've warned for anything notable. gwen bashing in particular may unfortunately pop up in some of these comms, especially in the comments, so tread carefully.

if you're new to probing through old lj comms, remember to always have the wayback machine on hand, because you're going to run into a lot of purged accounts and seemingly lost fics, but sometimes you get lucky and something's been archived :)

as of the date i'm posting this, all of these comms are still accessible, but if you're from the future and some have been deleted, again, go ahead and give the wayback machine a try. additionally, livejournal has a system that includes 'cross-posting' in which, if authors choose to (and the majority of them do, to get their fics more visibility), fics get posted to multiple comms at once. so chances are, even if one comm gets deleted, the contents will survive through other comms. kind of like how reblogs continue to exist even when the original blog is deleted.

finally, ctrl + f is your best friend if you have a specific ship/character/trope you're invested in, especially in comms with less than ideal tagging systems. if a comm does have a substantial tagging system, you can find all of its tags by adding '/tags' the end of the urls i've provided.

ok... let's begin :-)

assorted livejournal communities

✎ torch-wood: this is essentially a torchwood subreddit. it started before the show even aired, and one of the highlights of it is episode reaction posts (easily accessible on the right side of the lj) that document how everyone immediately reacted to the eps, which is pretty damn cool, fandom-history wise. only thing i should mention is there's quite a lot of gwen and owen bashing in the comments of some of those reaction posts, so just be wary of that if you love those two like i do, 'cuz it's a bit of a bummer.

✎ torchwood-three: this comm is an extremely cool then-daily newsletter (that still updates sometimes?!) that compiled as much fan-content as it could find into cleanly organized lists. the posts made immediately after new episodes aired contain reactions, discussions, meta, theories, new fic, fanmixes, just about everything. very very cool to go back and see the way the fandom was thinking as the show was airing and as they were getting to know the characters. here's a direct link to all posts made in late 2006, during the airing of s1.

✎ torchwood-fic: exactly what it says on the tin. desktop layout is easy to navigate, tags are all there!

✎ torchwood-fic's profile page also features a list of affiliated accounts that's pretty handy. it's worth taking a peek at, in case i've excluded anything in this post that you might be interested in.

✎ twgenrefinders: handy dandy comm where people would ask for fics of a certain variety & be treated with reclists, or hyper-specific fics... pretty cool stuff, ive got several threads bookmarked to sort through the links later. ofc, please note that some of the things people asked for might be stinky. particularly i've seen a lot of ppl requesting gwen bashing fics :/

✎ twstoryfinder: cousin to the above comm; here, people would ask for a very specific fic they'd lost. it's kind of fun to find fics through because you get someone describing memorable scenes + hyping it up, so it's different than just a standard summary. this one still gets posted on, too, which is crazyyy.

✎ tw-unpaired: for gen fics! no romance allowed! there's some good character studies + friendship fics in there. stuff's tagged by character + authors are even tagged, in case you find one whose writing you particularly enjoy. this is v useful for when someone's main journal has been deleted.

✎ torchwood-decaf: a comm where janto is BANNED. nah i'm kidding, it's not anti-janto, it was just made because janto is so huge that it overshadows everything else. pretty smart, tbh; wading through the sheer mass of janto content can be tiresome.

✎ jack-in-cuffs: for dark tw fic, or uber smutty tw fic. as a fan of dark!fic, there's some goodies in here, but of course it's not everyone's cup of tea. most of the writers included warnings, but if you go a little further back, some people weren't as courteous; navigate with caution.

✎ jack-owen: for fic featuring our captain and his (second favorite) doctor. i know this pairing's kinda divisive nowadays, but i enjoy it a lot. the comm's got a dismal tagging system and, ngl, i don't truly like any of the fics there (i'm very intrigued by jack and owen's relationship but i've never found fic that really does them justice, and i still haven't figured out how to write them myself) - but i'll include it anyway.

✎ odetojoi: for fic featuring owen in the middle of a janto sandwich, for those of us who are allergic to women (/sarcasm). there's an oddly impressive supply of fics of the three of them, and a good chunk of them can be found in this comm. (everytime i see this comm i think of a certain abbreviation found in p/rnogr/phy... but i digress)

✎ halfwee-and-tea: for ianto x owen fic. haven't gone through this one much, truthfully. i hate when comms have no tagging systems agh.

✎ owenharper-fans: a comm for the saddest undeadest bisexualest doctor around. also features a few burn appreciation posts, which is nice to see pre-pac rim era. mostly just features a shit ton of owen fic, particularly owen x ianto fic. mostly sufficiently tagged. if you need me once i post this, btw, i will be balls deep in this comm.

✎ the pro-owen alliance: another owen-focused comm - i think this one was made directly in response to owen bashing. haven't combed through this one much but it's got a fair amount of fics.

✎ house-of-cooper: a gwen comm! made in response to gwen bashing. haven't gone through it, but i'm glad it exists.

✎ torchwoodcoffee: ianto comm! this one's hugeee. the majority of it's janto, but the pairings aren't tagged, which is really frustrating. about 6k fics on there, though! just untagged. fff.

✎ tw-femficfest: a comm for fic about any and all of the torchwood ladies. tagging's cleanly done & there's some handy fic round ups, too.

✎ tw-femslash: yuri!!! wahoo!!! a comm for f/f tw ships. there's quite a lot of fic on here, but unfortunately there's no tagging whatsoever. sigh.

✎ tw-classic: a comm for 'all things series one and two of torchwood'. was made after s3 and was popular around s4 out of nostalgia for the golden age <3 good amount of fic, discussions, etc.

✎ torchwood-house: this comm is, like, letterboxd, but for torchwood fanfic. basically a group of individuals who thought of themselves as having Good Taste would read Good Fic and then go in this comm and write a post about why they recommend it. it's well-made, easy to scroll through, and sells the fics v well, and it kinda gets you more excited to read them when you get to see someone hype them up with Fancy Words. it's like a little torchwood yaoi bookclub. we're eating quiche

✎ tw100: a drabble challenge; this thing's full of 100 word drabbles. ngl i hate drabbles but i'm throwing it in here anyway

✎ touchyerwood: i love kink memes... i love kink memes less when my favorite character/pairing is unpopular. the pac rim kink meme's been a blessing bc i'm a basic ass newmann - the torchwood kink meme? not so much. it's got a fair amount of shit, though, so maybe someone else will appreciate it. this one isn't the original, that one's been wiped off the internet, to my chagrin. keep in mind before digging that people in kink memes are horny & gross. that's your warning.

✎ reel-torchwood: for any and all movie aus... ok i have a bone to pick with this comm. i'm a big movie nerd, i love film, i've seen dozens of films i've thought would make good aus - i combed through this and there is not a SINGLE fic in there that piqued my interest. NOTHING. needless to say my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined. i'm sure my experiences aren't universal though.

✎ torchwoodslash: ah, remember when we called it slash? gee whiz. i'm not big on this comm, it's not very user friendly + there's like no tags whatsoever so it's extremely hard to navigate. enter at your own risk & good luck, lol.

✎ rounds-of-kink: this isn't a torchwood-exclusive comm, but it's got a sizeable torchwood tag, which can be found here. pretty organized tagging system; makes me happy.

✎ tw-declassified: this comm was mainly used for running a 'torchwood bingo', which, i've been in other fandoms that do episode bingos and it's usually cute... this one confused me a little so i didn't bother peeking around too much, but still a cool little bit of fandom history.

✎ writerinadrawer: this was an annual torchwood writer's challenge that ran for four years... it's kinda hard to navigate but it does have some fic in it so i'm putting it here.

✎ dmarley-recs: a recs journal someone ran for compiling torchwood fic; it's got a l o t of recs on there, largely jack/ianto.

ok and straying from lj briefly for two other places to find fic...

✎ kink_bingo: this is a dreamwidth comm, and it's not torchwood-exclusive, so i've linked straight to the torchwood tag. this comm has a livejournal equivalent, but for some reason the tw tag is pretty barren on that one? not sure why. but on dw it's got a fair amount. the tagging system is rough, it tags fandom and kink but not pairing, which is irritating, and every post is hidden under a cut AND makes you go through a discretion barrier every single time (but probably only if you don't have an account? i'm not logged in) which makes navigation a pain. but i dunno, more smut, if you want it.

✎ whofic.com: this site is for doctor who fic, but it's got a very substantial amount of torchwood fic. i do not, however, like the formatting at all. i'm being overly nice; i HATE the formatting. it's very reminiscent of fanfic dot net but, like, worse. it reminds me of adultfanfiction dot org which was a NIGHTMARE to use. but! there is torchwood fic there so it's going in here.

aaaand there we go! that's all i have. i hope these prove handy! enjoy :D

[cringefailvox]

15, 17, 19 for the meme! Dealer’s choice! You can do the same fic for all three or you can do different ones, whichever is the most interesting. (Aka I can’t pick… you have so many tasty fics.)

15. talk about the characters' struggles & how you decided on those.

sometimes you scrape and sink so low

this fic let me dig my teeth into husk for the first (and hopefully not the last) time!! a missing scene post-ep5 because i've been thinking about the hallway scene ever since i watched it and feeling CRAZY. i earnestly believe that husk and alastor consider each other friends of a sort, even despite the soul ownership, and so this fic delves into husk struggling with the aftermath of alastor betraying him like that -- he thought he'd known the rules, known how to play the game, and here alastor goes overturning the board on him in a way he never had before. it was a profound breach in the status quo between them that leaves husk rattled and hurt. but alastor doesn't want that either; he wants husk to respect him, but he doesn't want husk to genuinely fear him, at least not in any personal sense -- being afraid of the radio demon mythos is one thing, but he truly doesn't want husk to take the hallway incident as their new normal.

i'm so endlessly fascinated by their dynamic mostly because of how ooc that scene feels. as in, neither of them are at their best: alastor is stressed and irritated out of his mind already from lucifer's presence + husk does what he does best and instantly zeroes in on someone's sorest spot to drive his point home = alastor violently lashing out at him in a way we've never seen him do before. it sucks! husk was just trying to look out for him! but we knew that conversation was never going to go well. this fic was definitely a lot of wish-fulfillment for me skjfghjkfd i really wish we'd gotten some kind of resolution with them in canon.

17. talk about the fic's ending. why did you end it where you did?

The Diving Bell

after a sweet and sappy closing scene, vaggie ends with a note of defeatism -- she'll tell charlie the truth about what she is someday, if charlie ever asks, but until then, she'll savor what she has until it's inevitably taken away from her. it's a bummer sentiment but it felt true to vaggie's character; she hates herself so deeply and so strongly that she's convinced charlie would hate her too if she knew the Truth -- the big, ugly truth at the core of her that makes her unworthy of anything but being useful to charlie. she knows it's inevitable that the truth will get out someday, but she isn't optimistic about how it'll go. so i wanted to end this fic on that feeling of mixed happiness/dread, where vaggie thinks she knows how this story will end, but intends to cherish what she has while she's allowed to keep it. girl let's get you so much therapy.

19. while editing, did you kill any darlings? what were they?

dragging its tail in the sea

i had to rewrite one section of this like three times to make it flow well and sadly had to cut this hilarious line:

it was just a touch too bitchy for the melancholy tone and i couldn't get it to connect to the rest of the scene, but man it still makes me giggle. and who knows, someday you all might get to see it given a new home in static shock since i gave bird custody

[litnerdwrites]

Another late one. I'm so sorry! I had so many different ideas while editing this one, I'd hardly call it the same fic as the original anymore. I think I like this one much, much better though. Two days left, and that's kind of a bummer, but I've enjoyed seeing everyone else's works this week. Maybe it's because TOS will be out in October but I loved writing for Gluttony, and I have so many ideas for him. Enough that I was thinking of making this one a short series, if you'd like? I think I'll post a couple of theme over the coming weeks, if you want? Or would y'all prefer a different Prince? lmk!. @princeofsinweek

Day 5: Gluttony/Champagne Fountains

Indulge in you - Gluttony x Reader

WC:1,548

TW: Nothing explicit and nothing outside of canon.

You blink. 

Once. 

Twice. 

Three times. 

Your eyes dart to Prince Gluttony’s, then back again. 

The singular, slitted, beady eye feels like it’s staring right through you. It’s unnerving enough that you quickly turn back to the prince leaning against the side of your house, grinning like a fool.

“What- What is this?” 

Gluttony raises a brow at you. 

“An Ice dragon,” he says, like it’s completely obvious. 

“I can see that,” you mutter. 

“Then why ask?” 

You bring your hands together.

Eyes closed, you take in a breath. 

Hold it. 

Let it out. 

Slowly, you turn to him, holding your hands in front of your stomach, palms pressed together. 

“Then allow me to rephrase, your highness.” Gluttony’s grin only widens at your exasperated tone. “Why is it here? As in outside of my house,” you glance behind the dragon’s head, noting the lack of a body, “And where’s the rest of it?” 

Gluttony santers over, examining the creature from beside you. Hazel eyes shift from the creature to you, studying your reaction. 

“It’s a gift,” he replies, “As for the rest of it, it’s being broken down for the useful, and valuable materials as we speak. It’ll be brought for you then,” 

“You will do no such thing,” you scowl, “Aren’t you more the type to hoard the wealth from those conquests, than share them?” 

“Eh, that’s more aligned with Greed’s circle,” he shrugs, “And I am indulging in my sin, so don’t get your panties in twist,” Gluttony’s eyes slide to you, “Unless you ski-” 

“Don’t finish that,” you snap. 

He raises a brow, his grin turning sly. 

“Oh? Does that mean I’m right, and you aren’t-” he’s cut off by a fist to his arm, but laughs it off, “Getting defensive are we? You wouldn’t happen to mind if I checked-” another punch lands, this time to his face. 

Gluttony just laughs, while you go back to watching the creature.

“I’m being serious Ax,” you huff, “Why did you bring that thing here?” 

You turn from the creature, to Gluttony, otherwise known as Gabriel Axton, trying to figure out what he was up to. Yet, as per usual, he gives nothing away. Instead, he approaches the creature’s head, studying it.

“Do you not like it?” he asks, not looking back.

“It’s not that, I just- I appreciate the gesture, but I don’t need-” 

“You and I both know that what one needs is rarely ever a factor where I’m concerned,” he scoffs, “Overindulgence is the very nature of my existence, and that remains true, even now,” 

“I want to tell you off, but I can’t even be mad at you,” you whisper, shaking your head, brow pinched between your pointer and thumb. 

“I don’t understand why you keep fighting it. I can feel your desires, and I know when you lie, so there’s little use bothering to hide what you want,” Gluttony shrugs, eyeing you up and down 

You flushed red at his words, heart pounding at the insinuation, before you turned your head away, and pressed a hand over your mouth.

“That’s neither here nor there,” you muttered into your palm, “I can’t accept this,” 

“Why not?” he asks, “It’s a gift,” 

“One that I must graciously decline, your highness,” you reiterate. 

“Why?” 

You wanted to slam your head against the walls of your cottage. He always showed up here, at the end of every week, with some kind of gift, and usually an invitation to his House of Sin, which you always decline. He then leaves, often looking like a kicked puppy, and you’re left to deal with your guilt and ponder your choices into the late hours of the evening, only to do it all again the next week.

“Do you want something else?” the man in question pulls you from your thoughts. 

“Pardon?” 

“Do you want something else? I can give you whatever your heart desires, Y/N. Champagne fountains, more food than you could ever eat, the finest gowns, the rarest jewels, or even a live dragon for a pet, if that’s what you wanted,” he turns to you, watching carefully, “Name it,” 

“Ax- I-” you turn your head away, “I don’t need that, nor do I want it,” 

A lie. 

One you’re sure he caught. 

You wrap your arms around yourself. 

There’s so much that you want. So, so much. 

You wanted more adventures, more thrill. You wanted to learn to hunt, and feel powerful doing so. To pursue and indulge in your interests, to take charge of your desires and own your sexuality. You wanted to dance at parties in lavish ballrooms, in overly indulgent dresses that dripped with jewels, and to indulge until you were physically unable to do so. You wanted to drink from champagne fountain after champagne fountain until nothing existed but herself and… And him.

The Prince of Gluttony, Gabriel Axton, whom you had once sheltered in your modest cabin to wait out a particularly nasty blizzard while one of his hunters were injured. Ever since then, he’d visited you often, inviting you out, offering gifts, and keeping you company. Perhaps you indulged in his presence too much, seeing as each week it became harder and harder to say ‘no’ and send him a way. A fact he was most likely aware of. 

“You’re lying,” he accuses quietly. 

“I’m not,” you argue half-heartedly. 

“You are. You know that I can tell when you’re lying, so why bother continuing?” 

You freeze, stiffening at the icy tone of  his voice. When you look up at him, his eyes don’t meet yours, still staring at the dragon’s head. 

“I- What do you want from me?” He keeps silent, refusing to answer. “Tell me!” 

His head slowly turns to you, and your eyes widen as they meet his own. Every step back is met by another step towards you, until your back collides with the cabin walls. An arm presses against the wall by your head, while Gluttony leans over you, hazel eyes locked on yours. When you refuse to lift your head, his thumb and forefinger grab your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. 

“I want you,” he whispers, as his eyes searched your own. 

“I-”

He hushes you, before he dropped your chin, and leaned forward. You stiffen, red staining your cheeks, as he presses his nose into the crook of your neck. 

“I want to devour you. I want to claim you, over and over until you can’t remember anyone but me. Until I occupy your thoughts, your heart, and your desires, the way you have to me. I want to take, more and more, over and over, until I’ve had my fill,” he scoffs, “I think we both know that’d never happen though. I want to give you more. I want you to have everything you ever desired, even in passing, and then some. I want you to give yourself to me, your heart, body and mind. I want to indulge in you, and never stop.” 

“I- You want to-” 

He cut you off by pressing his lips to yours. Your eyes widened, flickering to his own, as he stared right back at you. You feel him ripping away each and every layer, bit by bit, uncovering every raw wound and secret you’ve ever kept. Yet, at this point, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. 

Your eyes fluttered shut, and your lips pressed into his. Your knees felt weaker, with each nip and swipe of his tongue. Had he not entirely pressed you into the wall, you’re sure you would’ve collapsed to the ground. 

After what felt like eternity, he finally pulled away.

“I want to give you everything, Y/N. Champagne fountains, caviare mounts, lavish balls, grand feasts, and more. If you asked me to carve out my very heart, or sell you my soul, I’d offer them up on silver platter in an instant,” his hands cupped your cheeks, “Let me give you everything,”

You stared up at him, cheeks flushing more under his palm. Your knees threatened to give way, but you managed to remain upright, and muster a smile. 

“Are you asking to court me, your highness?” 

“Nothing so pedestrian,” he scoffs, “I’m asking you to be mine. To let me indulge in every last piece of you. And in return, I’m giving you myself, my court, and whatever you long to indulge in, so long as you call me your own too,” 

You rolled your eyes at that, but can’t do much to hide the twinkle in them. 

“I suppose you are the prince of overindulgence. Perhaps I’ll give it a try, demon,” 

Gluttony grins down at you. 

“Just a try?” he dares.

“I have to know if I like it before I indulge,” 

He scoffs, leaning down to nip at your neck. 

“Have my previous attempts not been satisfactory?” he gestures to the ice dragon head.

Huh. You’d forgotten about that for a moment. 

“You’ve merely demonstrated your determination. Now it’s time to demonstrate just how deeply you wish to indulge. Over champagne perhaps?” 

“I shall have an entire fountain of it readied at once, should you return to my court with me,” he offered his hand.

With a tiny smile, you took it, holding tight.

“I can’t wait,” 

[yardsards]

I hear you and I agree with you but also I raise you: queerplatonic the spares?

assuming you're talking about this post that i made a while back but blew up again recently?

i got a very similar ask back when i first made the post (which is buried somewhere in the depths of my blog bc tumblr search sucks) and i'll say now approximately what i said back then:

that kind of sucks too, actually.

the main problem with the "pair the spares" and "everyone must be paired" tropes is that they generally imply that it's not a happy ending unless everyone is in a committed monogamous romantic relationship. that characters (and real people, by extension) are somehow incomplete without a romantic partner, just like a sad single sock.

and removing the word "romantic" (or even any of the other adjectives as well) from those sentences and allowing them to include queerplatonic partnerships too doesn't really make the idea that much better. doing that doesn't break down the walls, just widens them a bit so that more people can be allowed in.

like yeah, one of the problems with the "you're incomplete without a romantic partner" idea is that it excludes people who can't feel romance. but that's far from the ONLY problem with it (in fact, the term "amatonormativity" wasn't even coined with aromantics specifically in mind, iirc).

it tells single people that they're not good enough, that they're incomplete. it tells single people who want a relationship that this isn't just a matter of "aw bummer, you want this thing but don't have it yet" but is rather a massive fundamental issue in their life that must take priority and be solved posthaste. it tells people who are happily single (including happily single alloromantics. because yes, they exist. not everyone who feels romantic attraction necessarily thinks that getting into a traditional romantic relationship about those feelings is right for them) that they're just deluding themselves and that they truly would be happiest in a partnership. it tells people who are in unhappy relationships that it would be better to stay than to become single. it says that relationships must look a certain way. it says that friendship is insufficient and is always inherently lesser than a partnership.

and allowing "partnership" and "relationship" to include queerplatonic as well as romantic doesn't fix a lot of those

amatonormativity is a cage that hurts those who can fit themselves in it as well as those who can't. widening the cage to allow more people in won't fix that. and there will always be people who don't fit inside the cage no matter how much you widen it. for example, non-partnering aros exist and would still be excluded here.

(and on another note: "pair the spares" and "everyone must be paired" generally are used derisively to refer to like. when characters are shoddily shoved together last minute because the writers couldn't figure out what else to do with them. it's generally just like, bad writing. and while i would LOVE more queerplatonic relationships, i want them to actually be GOOD, not just be some sloppy seconds leftover from a romantic ship.)

anyway i got rambly and possibly confusing there, and went Way Too Deep about what was almost definitely just a silly lighthearted ask. but i have so many Thoughts on the matter

there's just like. this mindset i notice (primarily in newer/younger aromantics who have just begun to question amatonormativity). where they see queerplatonic relationships and just think "ah, so this is just our version of a romantic relationship?" and don't really think about the complexities. ignoring the fact that some social constructs around romance are simply Not Good and that they will not become good if you separate them from romance. and ignoring that queerplatonic relationships are not always just "like a romantic relationship but minus the romance".

like it's a mindset that i understand (and i think was a lot like how i thought when i was younger and first figuring out these concepts). because this shit is CONFUSING and hard to explain and complicated to think about and so hard to unpack. so i hope i'm not coming across as rude to anon or anyone like that. it's just kinda something that's on my mind a good bit so i went off on a ramble, y'know?

edit: dug up the old post with a similar ask

[clonerightsagenda]

Finishing up the show! (As you saw, lol)

Episode 7:

Asriel: I fucking hate prophecies as plot devices. Me: same man

Technobabble? In His Dark Materials? Shut up about your capacitors

Hey, it was Mrs. Coulter's idea to beat Metatron, and now they're having Asriel and Xaphania tip her off. Stolen valor

"Brute physical force!" has been a family injoke for years so when Asriel announced he was going to defeat the angels with "sheer physical force" we all started screaming

"It's not just death down there" just reminds me of that tumblr post about how SFF invents Death 2: A Worse One

I've said it before but one more for the road... the witches look so silly

Well lads they did what I worried they'd do - focus a lot of time and energy on the war that explicitly thematically does not matter.

Why do Asriel's troops even have guns. Can you shoot an angel

Mrs. Coulter's control over the specters was vague in the books beyond that she played them like she plays everyone else, convincing them she could lead them to better prey. I do not know why she can now explode them with her mind

Serafina that bird skull is not flattering. And I say this as a skull connoisseur

God: *telepathically says shit* Mrs. Coulter: Another fucking man trying to tell me what to do

Metatron's leather suit??? Did he get himself confused with Metatton?

Mrs. Coulter didn't hit him with a rock : ( Also Stelmaria pushed them all into the pit instead of her. Kind of a bummer. Wondering what the metaphysical implications are of *her* daemon dying outside the rift rather than in it, though. Also my notes for this scene include the scribbled phrase 'cursed throuple'. I just thought you should know

Well God dying was appropriately anticlimactic I guess although I would have preferred if Will and Lyra weren't in the thick of All That

(My mom: Why aren't they going to the other world?? Why are they still in the war zone? My dad: Because they're stupid. Me: Don't blame them. It's not their fault. The TV show is doing this to them.)

Episode 8:

New scene of Lyra processing her parents' death - even posthumously they are still taking up screentime

You go to the land of the dead and through a war zone and into Eden and that PhD you met months ago just happens to be there. Wild tbh

Mary is a lesbian! Good for her! Does Lyra understand the concept of lesbians or is she baffled by this whole exchange

They cut the "The Christian religion is a very powerful and convincing mistake" line. Cowards

My mom: Will, do something about that bandage. He has gangrene. Me: He said she smelled bad but it's his hand rotting. (We then remembered they made the timeskip several months and were like... why does he still have bandages on)

Kirjava isn't black :(

Honestly the 'good' angels are coming off even worse in the TV version. yeah you did what we needed you to do so you're done now! We no longer grant you our grace to read the alethiometer because you're no longer of use to us! Go fuck yourself. Ironically her 'falling' does make her a used up and no longer valuable woman to them.... probably not the intended reading but here we are

Send help my parents keep calling the mulefa muffalettas

I joked that when Lyra said she was imagining what Will will look like when he's old he should've whipped out his phone and gone there's a snapchat filter for that

We then spent the last few minutes heckling Will for occasionally having all his fingers in some shots

I was already on the edge but just said "what the fuck?? what the fuck is that?????" for the ending with the like... based on a true story documentary text overlay for Where They Are Now. Why did they do that

[myprincejinnie]

fic recs for my anime hotties!!

-separated by anime & character and then genre-

if it has more than one genre like mafia and soulmate au then i will put it in the section that i think it leans more towards, but most will have summaries and warnings as well so it will be easy to figure out (hopefully lol). the genre is more au based and not like friends to lovers and stuff bc most aus have those genres as well and it is hard to separate. if it doesn't have an au it is prob in others. this list looks kind of scuffed bare w it pls. i really just made this to keep track of my fav fics so i can reread them. + some of them i haven't read in a while. and others i didn't add bc they are either on hold or it is pretty obvious that they are never going to be finished )); i really like hybrid, a/b/o, and soulmate aus so lots of those !! i go to tumblr after finishing my manhwas and when i get tired of trying to find fics on ao3, so i prob have more on the ao3 list. in regards to this anime tumblr fic rec list, i have a lot more on the ao3 list but it is going to take forever to put together . . . i am scared.

find other group and fandom lists here.

>>the mentioned ao3 list<< this one is going to take a while lol . . .

📕 - one shot/head cannon/short

📚 - series

🔃 - ongoing

✅️ - completed

🔞 - smut + not going to put all warnings for the type of smut going on in each so make sure to read warnings on the og post jic

Kiyoomi Sakusa (Haikyuu!!)

___soulmate au___

Soulmate!Sakusa x Reader by watevermelon📕

Summary: request --

>> Warnings & Tags: none. Notes: I love this author so lots from them!!

Golden Swirls by hawks-supremacy📕

Summary: when Sakusa's sister told him how people found their soulmates, he was disgusted. or at least until he found his. >> Warnings & Tags: no warnings, fluff and angst

___childhood friends___

Envy by watevermelon📕🔞

Summary: Childhood friends with Sakusa Kiyoomi, you were sure that your unrequited desires would simply stay that way. From play-dates in his backyard to being the manager of the Itachiyama volleyball team, you were content with watching your friend pursue his dream. >> Warnings & Tags: SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 394, Explicit one-shot; smut, Porn with Plot; Unreliable Narrator; Jealousy but actual mutual pining; lots of Humor; semi-public sex; dominant Sakusa; near face-fucking; finger fucking; eating out

___fluff___

Quiet Sort of Love by watevermelon📕

Summary: As manager of the Fukurōdani volleyball club, there was no doubt that Itachiyama’s Sakusa Kiyoomi was a strong ace. He brought your team to their knees on multiple occasions, but what you were not expecting was getting to know the nationally acclaimed spiker beyond just the titles and labels. >> Warnings & Tags: Implicating language and slight spoilers toward the end (you will be warned beforehand :)), lots of fluff, angst, slight BokuAka, character development, mutual pining at one point, Buckle up boys cause this is a LONG one LMAO

Tetsurō Kuroo (Haikyuu!!)

___soulmate au___

He's my soulmate by honeypirate📕

Summary: You can communicate telepathically with your soulmate, sending thoughts and feelings to them. it’s a skill that develops through time after you hit 17.  it takes a few months for the connection to grow so for the first little while not a lot comes through. So far you have similar songs getting stuck in your head and thoughts will come through quietly. You tried once to send specific messages but you never had any responses to them so you tried to just go about your day, excited with any thought or songs that come through. >> Warnings & Tags: Kuroo x f!Reader soulmate AU, soulmates

Soulmate Singer by sundrop-tetsu📕

Summary: your voice was truly something. he loved hearing it. and he often heard you singing. but honestly, he thought it was a mere hobby of yours. finding out his soulmate is american was a bummer because of the distance. but hey, you have a concert in tokyo coming up. and thankfully, his friends are your biggest fans >> Warnings & Tags: kuroo tetsurou x gn!popsinger!reader, gender-neutral reader

HAWKS (MHA)

___soulmate au___

Falling for You by flannel-cladpika📕

Summary: This AU is from my list of BNHA Soulmate AU’s. This one took a lot longer than most of my stories do, but I like the way it turned out. Enjoy! Hawks x F!Reader soulmate au >> Warnings & Tags: none, female reader

TOJI (JJK)

welp . . . i will just call this

___smut___

Bunny Girl Toji by aizawa-horny-brigade📕🔞

Summary: Request -- Toji with a cute bunny girl. She’s sweet and allows him to do whatever he wants with her. Always wakes him up with a bj 🥺Who knows how a mean asshole like him got her to begin with. Certainly seems like the type to have “won” her from a shitty owner after gambling. >> Warnings & Tags: male receiving oral, Toji being a bully

milkmaid. by aizawa-horny-brigade📚✅️🔞

Summary: straight smut, y’all. Downright filth 😤 ✨enjoy✨ >> Warnings & Tags: literally smut, read warning for each part, part 1 -- Farmer!Nanami x Chubby!Cowgirl!Reader (ft. Puppyboy!Yuji), part 2 --Wolf!Toji x Chubby!Cowgirl!reader & Farmer!Nanami x Chubby!Cowgirl!reader, part 3 -- Wolf!Toji x Chubby!Cowgirl!reader & Farmer!Nanami x Chubby!Cowgirl!reader

GOJO (JJK)

gojo. by demxnscous📕

Summary: gn + sorcerer!reader, mutual pining, reader and Gojo are good friends, he gets a little possessive(?) in this, extended metaphors yay >> Warnings & Tags: none.

LAST UPDATED/ADDED ON: 12.21.2023