#that's just so yikes. i'm so disappointed in them

[yellowloid]

only way i'm accepting the apology video that's no doubt going to come from watcher in the next few days is if ryan and shane decide to throw steven out altogether

[momentomori24]

This may just be me, but I think if you ship a canonically very abusive, manipulative and toxic relationship, you don't get to judge or call anyone degenerates for their own fucked up ships, actually.

[lxkeee]

HEAVEN AND BACK!

—PART TWO

Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Alastor's Mom! Angel! Reader

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Genre: Romance, love at first sight.

Warnings: none.

Notes: this one is comparably shorter than chapter one.

PART ONE | PART THREE

Lucifer was absolutely baffled, so many things happened in one day. First, a very gorgeous and tall seraphim angel decided to come and stay at the hotel to oversee its progress and on top of all that, the said angel is that damn radio demon's mother.

Lucifer watches as the angel, who he learned that goes by the name [y/n] is still currently scolding her son. Him, Charlie, Vaggie, Angel Dust, and Husk are at the bar area just watching it unfold.

Alastor sitting on the couch, head hung low in shame but there's still a smile on his face.

“So... You killed your father and many more? And also ate them....?” [y/n] asked, disappointed in her voice. Alastor's deer ears lay flat as he remained seated as he listened to his mother.

“Oh god, my son is a cannibal!” [y/n] cries, Niffty wiping away her tears as [y/n] carried the smaller girl in her arms—how did it happen? She just somehow was raising her arms for uppies while the taller woman was scolding her boss and the older woman just did so without thinking and carried her and then resumed to scolding Alastor.

“But they deserved it, mother! He deserved it for—” Alastor tried to defend himself, his smile strained.

[Y/n]'s own smile widened, eye twitching, “Who said you could speak? My own son is talking back to me!” she cries, smiling through the tears, her wings puffed up in anger and Alastor shuts up his mouth immediately.

“Where did I go wrong in raising you? I didn't raise you like this.” [y/n] sobs, Niffty handing her a handkerchief where the taller woman accepted and used it to blow her nose.

“Yikes.” Lucifer muttered in amusement as he sipped his dry martini while watching the angelic woman continuing to scold Alastor. Now that's my kind of woman. He thought before almost choking his drink. Hold up. What is wrong with him today? He barely knew the woman and he is already thinking like this.

“You okay there pal? I'm pretty sure you almost choked on your drink.” Angel Dust laughs and Lucifer just glares at him.

Charlie giggles beside him excitedly, “Isn't it amazing? Alastor reunited with his mom! And heaven finally decided to help us!” Charlie squeals and Vaggie hums in agreement.

“Well... It surely isn't a happy one as smile's is getting scolded even more.” Angel Dusts laughs and Husk chuckles behind the counter.

Back to the mother and son, Alastor is finally done with seeing his mother cry. He hugged her in which the older woman was weakly hitting his chest while she sniffled. Niffty being pressed in-between the two. She's just glad to be there.

“I am sorry, mother. I'm still your son.“ Alastor says softly and [y/n] sniffled against her son's embrace.

“I'm still mad at you.” she says, and Alastor's smile widens every slightly, “I know.” he says with a grin before getting his forehead flicked once more by his mother, making him winced in pain. [Y/n] gently lowering Niffty down to the floor. Lucifer and Husk snickering at the bar area.

[Y/n] pouted as she finally left her son's embrace, “And here I was waiting in heaven for so long wondering what's taking you so long and only for you to be here in hell? My goodness...” [y/n] sighs, pinching her own nose, her other hand on her hip.

“My bad.” Alastor says with a grin and [y/n] sighs, wiping the tears away from her eyes then clapping her hands together and a smile is back on her face as she turns around to look at the other hotel crew.

“Well, I suppose that is over. I am sorry for the scene I've caused, this young man right here is to blame.” [y/n] deadpans, pointing her arms towards Alastor who was lounging on the couch, he just gave a thumbs up.

[Y/n] sighs, shaking her head. “Back to business, I myself am not really sure why Sera decided to change her mind but she's my boss so... I don't really have a choice.” [y/n] says with a shrug, smoothly lying to them and the others just look at her with a slight deadpanned expression.

“I will be staying here for the time being, Sera didn't exactly say for how long...” She says before her eyes widened, Sera really didn't tell her how long she'll be here.

“I am starting to wonder if I accidentally got myself kicked out of heaven.” She muttered and Lucifer snickered slightly, looking at her with an amused smile on his face.

“Well if that's the case, there's a space made just for you in hell.” Lucifer says smoothly and [y/n] smirked, “My... Special treatment for lil' ol' me by the king of hell himself? It would be an honor.” she says with a small smirk, approaching the bar area and standing in front of the sitting man, looking down on him.

“I feel like they're each other's types.” Angel Dust whispers to Vaggie in which he gets elbowed to the side by the fallen exorcist.

Alastor's eye twitched in annoyance as he watched the scene unfold, not my mother. Speed walking to the two, Alastor held his mother's shoulders protectively and slid her away from the king of hell.

“Alastor, dear... I can handle myself.” [y/n] chuckles and Alastor just smiled, though his smile strained a little bit. Clearly annoyed how the king of hell is getting smooth with his mother.

“I'll be showing my mother around and show her to her room. Please excuse us.” Alastor says as he gently drags [y/n] with him upstairs with Niffty following the two.

The others just watched in amusement, still hearing the two's slowly muffling voices as they left the room.

“Mama please, he's the king of hell. Why are you already getting so chummy with him?” Alastor's muffled voice can be heard as they walk away.

“Have you seen him, Alastor? Heaven's scrolls didn't do him any justice, he's gorgeous!” [y/n] says with a laugh and a followed groan from Alastor. Their voices can no longer be heard as they were getting farther and farther away.

Angel Dust nudges Lucifer and wiggles his eyebrows at the short king, the arachnid teasing the man as he can really see Lucifer's flustered cheeks.

“You two looked nice together, you better shoot your shot.” Angel Dust says with a smirk which prompted Lucifer to stammer.

“Huh? What? I just met her for God's sake!” Lucifer says, pulling his collar away from his throat as he awkwardly chuckles.

“Please... Everyone can see you were eyeing her like a piece of candy.” Husk says gruffly behind the counter, scoffing.

Lucifer blushed, nervous that he wasn't slicked at all.

“Can't blame him to be honest.” Charlie says with a chuckle as she sipped her wine. Vaggie just rolls her eyes playfully, “Still, she's suspicious.” she says and Angel Dust scoffs, “Please, when are you not? Besides, if you ever end up right, I'm sure short king over here can handle her.” He says with a shrug before smirking at Lucifer, “Just admit you were admiring the sexy angel lady, couldn't blame ya toots!” he giggles.

“I wasn't... You guys are just seeing things.” he deadpans, his ears tinted pink. His daughter, Maggie, Angel Dust, and Husk just gave him a raised eyebrow. Clearly not believing him in the slightest.

“Whatever you say, short king.” Angel Dust says in amusement.

TAGLIST:

@adaizel @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @thedarkkitten @selvyyr @froggybich @brithedemonspawn @kottenox @totallymitya @many-fandoms-lover @dou-dou @mezzyb0nb0n @n1chxyaaenthusiast @cherry-4200 @koirb @galaxyj3lly @crystalplays28 @luleck @scootinonyourmom @rory-cakes @mixplara @crescent-z @bitchyzombienacho @kalisha2004 @altervex @nehy019 @napbatata @kouyoumarryme @sxgacxbe @kooidoom @yukichan67 @apple-pop @akiralovespenguins @storydays @kaurochika @amphiroxx @lil-writer-523 @punching-pentagrams @moonlovers34 @h3110kitty0 @bethleeham @hcneyiced @ashleygryffindor @ghostdoodlen @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @cupidsgift @shilladodo

[fairyspheres]

i saw that dragon age veilguard hasn't sold well (in the official statement, they specifically said that 1.5 million copies had 'reached players' so it must have sold even worse than that which. yikes) and while i'm quite gutted about that, ea and bioware also only have themselves to blame for it.

they let ten entire years pass between inquisition - a game that, for the most part, dragon age fans generally really like, at least for the lore - and veilguard. in those years, we saw them make andromeda, anthem, and heard reports of them trying to make the-then new dragon age game live service. thankfully we didn't get a live service dragon age game in the end, but a lot of the original writers were dropped, and i think that shows with the quality of the writing in veilguard.

i've never played dragon age for the gameplay, in any of the games. i despise the gameplay in origins - it's clunky and horrible and the deep roads makes me want to let the darkspawn win. but i love the story, which is why i endure the deep roads and the fade. the same in da2, which is probably my favourite of the entire series, even with the repeating dungeons (actually i love the repeating dungeons. i like knowing where things are), and the same in inquisition with the companions who feel like real people (cassandra pentaghast my beloved).

veilguard... the cuts show in the writing quality. the best character was emmrich (and assan and manfred) and from what i've heard he also had the best romance. which is another thing that suffered greatly - the romances (other than emmrich's). in a game series known for its romances, to the point where bioware was marketing the game as the most romantic as the series, how have they managed to mess it up that badly? cullen and solas' romances were late game additions in inquisition, and they're some of the best in the entire series, so it can't be an issue of time constraints.

rook's dialogue choices were essentially just different flavours of pleasant. do you want to be cheerful, lesser purple-hawke, or stoic? there's no real choice to be had throughout most of the game. even the choice between minrathous and treviso has little impact beyond what merchants might be available and a couple of later game choices. compared to earlier games, where you could let an entire village be overrun by corpses, or let fenris be taken back by danarius, the lack of choice is rather stark in comparison. the only real choices come at the very end of the game.

AND speaking of choices - the entire series has been about how all our previous choices have always mattered, about how we can always carry them over and use them to influence the world. so it was very much a slap in the face when not only could we not use the dragon age keep or import any choice beyond who we romanced in inquisition and what we wanted to do with solas, but the fact that by the end of veilguard, everything we did from origins to inquisition was all for nothing. bioware's choice to do that to varric was a kick in the teeth to long-term fans. oh, we got a little reference to the hero of ferelden in weisshaupt, how nice. pity they didn't tell us whether they're still alive or not. a shame we don't know hawke's fate.

so no, i'm not surprised that the game did so poorly in sales. i'm disappointed, but i'm not surprised because as i said, it's their own fault. i said back in november that they might not have another chance to make things right, and i hate that i might've been right about that.

this turned into an unintentional rant about all my grievances with the game.

[rogueddie]

Unexpected Delights T | 468 words Prompt for @steddielovemonth: Love is Co-Parenting

Having a child of their own is something that Eddie and Steve have been talking about for a long time. It's something that Eddie had thought Steve would push for more. Instead, he accepts Eddies explanation with ease.

It makes Eddie feel... uncomfortable, for some reason. But he knows he was right to tell Steve "I'm not ready yet".

Being a father is a big responsibility, something Steve and Eddie are both aware of. They both know that, if they are to adopt or have a surrogate, they both need to be completely on board.

Only, Eddie had thought Steve would push more.

He's not sure why he feels disappointed.

"Why not have a trial run?" Robin suggests, when Eddie turns to her for advice. "I can talk to Dustin. You could both work together to babysit Evie and see if it's something you could do."

"Oh, you're a genius."

Steve is just as excited by the idea, but especially when Eddie reluctantly admits that he has been thinking about potentially having a child with Steve.

Plus, an excuse to spend time with Dustin and Suzies newborn, alone, is an idea that Steve finds perfect.

Dustin, tired from work and daycare, is also thrilled at the idea.

"Maybe we'll finally sleep through the night."

"Yikes," Eddie winces. "That bad?"

Dustin laughs, patting him on the shoulder. "You're about to find out!"

Despite how they prepare, with Dustin's warnings and Steve banking on his previous babysitting knowledge, the first day is rough.

It's hard to find a rhythm, to settle into the new routine. They have a lot of false starts, until finally...

"She's so cute," Steve whispers, rocking the baby in his arms.

Eddie wishes he could take a photo of them. He settles for stepping closer, hands settling on Steve's hips.

"Yeah," he whispers, pressing a light kiss to Steve's forehead. "You two are the cutest thing I've ever seen."

"Shut up," Steve rolls his eyes.

"We should definitely look for a surrogate. The only thing that would make this sight better is if you were holding a little mini Harrington."

"I don't know... I think we could handle some mini Munsons too."

"Ok, we're not having six kids."

"Wh- hey, I wasn't thinking six! Like... maybe four."

"Jesus Christ."

"I'm joking, I only really want two. So they can have a sibling."

"Oh. Yeah, that..." Eddie looks down at little Evie. "Yeah. It'd be nice to have a sibling."

"Two kids, then?"

"Two."

Steve beams.

Eddie is sure that he's struggling to keep still, practically vibrating with joy.

"We're a good team," he finally manages to say. Eddie worries that his cheeks will start to ache with how wide his smile is. "Great babysitters, at least."

"And we'll be even better dads."

"You think?"

"I know."

[yanderes-galore]

Mikan (Danganronpa 2) w/ Clingy darling Platonic/Romantic

She'd... really need that, yeah—

Yandere! Mikan Tsumiki with Clingy! Darling

Pairing: Platonic/Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Abuse (Mikan's past), Possessive behavior, Fear of abandonment, Clingy behavior (On both ends), PDA, Overly affectionate behavior, Drugging, Isolation, Dubious companionship/relationship.

Yikes... I'm pretty sure this girl is canonically a yandere at times.

She seems like she'd primarily be a romantic yandere, but she could probably also see her obsession as a friend.

She's meek, paranoid, and desperately needs validation.

She wants to be close to people, yet doesn't want to drive them off.

She's so used to disappointing people and being ignored that she isn't used to positive affection.

So... Her obsession giving her constant affection?

A recipe for disaster.

Mikan is used to being mistreated and bullied by her peers.

Having a positive connection with someone who willingly wants to spend time with her unnerves her a first.

She doesn't get it.

Why are you treating her in such a way?

Did she do something?

Mikan craves any sort of attention and validation.

The moment she gets it, she clings onto it.

We can see this in her Free Time events with Hajime.

In the game she canonically is clingy and stalks those she adores.

You probably stepped in to help her after one of her "accidents" or Hiyoko's bullying.

You're no doubt a naturally affectionate person and check her over.

She may be the Ultimate Nurse yet you still care enough to check for wounds or bruises.

Mikan is stunned when you first show care for her.

Poor girl isn't used to such attention.

You don't push her away or call her names.

You actually invite her to hang out more often during your time on the Island.

Mikan's puzzled and confused...

Yet she quickly begins to crave your attention.

Platonic, romantic, it's all a bit vague when it comes to her.

She just craves any attention from you.

To the point of doing things for your attention, such as her "accidents" or following you around.

Other people are put off by her behavior, for good reason.

But you? When she thinks you're going to push her away?

You just give more attention.

Mikan herself is already pretty clingy.

Maybe you yourself are naturally touchy with friends?

The first time you gave Mikan a hug to cheer her up, she freezes.

Although... She's quickly addicted.

I imagine Mikan doesn't have boundaries with you.

Any attention must be good attention.

She sits close to you, always wants hugs...

Hell, there's times she may even sit on your lap if it means you'll look at her.

The most tragic part of her character is her need for affection.

A clingy obsession is like a sweet poison to her.

Like sugar, affection may be nice in small doses.

Then it becomes bad for your health.

Mikan would do anything for your love and attention.

She forces herself on your lap, clings to your side, follows you around like a lost puppy...

If her attentions were romantic, she'd probably crave kisses too.

Affection with her blurs boundaries.

I'm talking even if you saw her in a platonic light... Mikan would cuddle you or sneak into your room for your warmth.

Y'know... Creepy behavior.

She's easily jealous, afraid you'd give such affection to someone else.

She does everything she can to prevent that.

Feeding her more and more attention is dangerous to you.

Soon, she just can't let you go anymore.

Mikan craves control... If she saw you being affectionate or clingy with another...

Who knows what she'll do?

Actually, here's an example.

Drugging.

In canon she has told Hajime she wishes she could force him to rely on her.

Imagine if she couldn't accept the fact you're clingy to anyone else.

As a result, she drugs you.

Maybe in your food, or when you sleep...

Just to cuddle you close... To know you're hers.

To her it doesn't matter how you feel about it or what the feelings you two have are.

She'd sleep in the same bed as you, wrap herself tightly around you...

Anything to keep you as hers.

Being affectionate or clingy may just escalate her obsession with you.

She wants to believe you two are the only ones for one another.

Friends, lovers, either way...

Mikan wants your attention.

She needs it.

She craves it.

Mikan doesn't care if she has to force you to rely on her to keep you to herself...

You were one of the first people to show her love...

She's going to keep you to herself no matter what.

[anamericangirl]

Me and a liberal friend again.

Friend: "If Palestine wins, the conflict's over because there'll be no one else for them to fight, it'll just be Palestine, one nation."

Me: "Yeah, yeah, river to the sea, I've heard it before. Are there still Nazis?"

Friend: "In what?"

Me: "In the world. Are there still Nazis?"

Friend: "Of course there's still Nazis. There's white supremacy movements, there's people like Trump and Musk, there's the KKK, of course there's still Nazis."

Me: "So beating Germany didn't stop Nazis?"

Friend: "Well Germany still exists, that's different."

Me: "So then why don't we just wipe out Germany entirely to stop Nazis from existing?"

Friend: "I don't understand what you're even talking about anymore"

Me: "I'm saying that if you think Israel are evil people and the conflict starts and ends with them, you'll be really disappointed to learn that the only means of fully ridding the world of them is a full and complete extermination, or a genocide. We're currently living 80 years past the Nazi regime, and there's still Nazis, according to you, which means beating them didn't make them just go away because some of them survived and were able to continue pushing their agenda."

Friend: "Yeah but at least for 80 years we won't have Israelis."

Me: "I am just gonna screencap you saying that real quick."

Friend: "IT WAS A JOKE"

Me: "It's always a joke as soon as you're afraid someone's going to see it and think you're evil. Listen, dude, I've humored a lot of stuff that you've said for a long time. I was okay with you calling people who died from Covid 'antivax retards', I was okay with you saying you wished more than one person got shot at the Trump rally, I was okay with you saying that if your mother died you'd be happy because it would be one less Trump supporter, but, I'm finally at the point I gotta just draw the line. You're a very, very unhealthy person and you need help. God help you, I've tried to, and you can't be reasoned with."

I don't normally block people but this guy's been making me really sick for like 6 years now so I made an exception for my own mental health.

Censored out his name but here's that screencap.

YiKeS. And, ironically, it's the people like that who are claiming we're the hateful people and we're the ones who talk like that. Bro needs to take a good long look in the mirror.

[lousypotatoes]

With A Happy Refrain

Previous

Next

Song Recommendation:

I Can't Believe You're In Love With Me - Jimmy McHugh

Today was going to be a good day.

Just a regular, normal, stress free day.

No appointments, nobody to kill, Y/N was going to use that to her advantage and relax all day.

That plan jumped out the window though, as soon as she saw Charlie freaking out in the living room. In front of her was what could only be described as organized chaos, papers scattered all over the wall, red string connecting them.

"Um, good morning?" Y/N said, walking down the stairs.

"Mornin'," Husk grumbled, drinking coffee.

Husk, Niffty, and Sir Pentious were all gathered around the couch, watching Charlie unravel.

"What's she doing?" Y/N asked.

"Going batshit crazy," Husk replied.

"Oh,"

"I'm just not quite understanding why it's not working," Charlie mumbled, moving all over the place. "Okay, okay, think Charlie. Think, think, think, think. Okay, if I do this...trust falls every single morning, we can do..."

"Yikes," Angel grimaced, walking onto the scene. Y/N hummed in agreement.

"Charlie? Sweetie?" Vaggie asked. "You uh, you good?"

Charlie turned around, her hair disheveled and her eyes bloodshot. "Nope! Not really!" she laughed. "I've been up all night trying to figure out why the Hotel isn't working! We've done trust falls, we've tried sharing our feelings. We only have a couple months left before the Angels come! And at this rate-"

"Maybe it's time to ask-" Vaggie said.

"No! Don't say it!" Charlie interrupted.

"-your dad,"

Charlie groaned.

"Charlie, I know you don't want to, but we need every advantage we can get," Vaggie reasoned.

"He let the extermination happen to begin with!" Charlie said. "They just had a meeting and said, 'Go ahead and kill everyone!'"

Charlie gasped. "Wait. That's it!"

"Are we going to kill everyone?" Y/N smiled.

"What? No!" Charlie said, making Y/N hold her head down in disappointment. "My dad could get me a meeting with Heaven!"

"Didn't we already try that?" Vaggie said, referring to Charlie's meeting with the First Man.

"Well, yeah, with Adam," Charlie stuttered. "He was an asshole, but he isn't in charge of all of Heaven. We could go to the top! There's sure to be some angels who will be listen."

Charlie walked a short bit away, getting on the phone with her dad. Y/N could see that she was reluctant to talk to him.

"What's the hold up? You got daddy issues?" Husk asked.

"No! We just have never been close, "Charlie explained. "After he and mom split he never never really wanted to see me. He calls sometimes, but only if he's bored or needs me to do something."

"Oh definitely daddy issues," Y/N smirked over at Husk.

"Well, I'd like to meet the big dick on charge," Angel grinned.

"The ultimate bad boy!" Niffty gushed. "I bet he's scary!"

Y/N conjured up a cup of coffee, sipping on it while she walked into the kitchen to look for something to eat. When she came back, Charlie was still on the phone with her dad.

"Please come see what I'm trying to do!" Charlie begged. "You'll see why it's a really good idea and Heaven is bound to agree if I get the chance to talk to them! Please, dad."

"Not going so well, huh?" Y/N whispered to Angel.

"Not at all,"

Charlie got off the phone, a small smile on her face. "Well, we have an hour until he gets here,"

"Okay people!" Vaggie said in her sergeant voice. "Lucifer is on his way! So we are are going to get this place presentable and we are going to make an amazing impression. Vamanos!"

For the next hour, everyone in the Hotel (except Alastor, who knows where he was) deep cleaned as much as they did, wanting to make it as nice and clean as it could be for the literal King of Hell.

Y/N helped Niffty and Sir Pentious make cookies. They came out...alright to say the least, looking like they had blood splatters on them.

It was almost time for Lucifer to show up, Y/N fixing her hair and making sure her outfit had no wrinkles in it. Even though she didn't really care about appearances, she didn't want a powerful Overlord like herself to look like a slob in front of the King of Hell.

"You look lovely, my dear," Alastor muttered, walking by her.

"And where were you?" Y/N asked.

"Up in my tower, of course, broadcasting," Alastor smiled, bending down to her level. " I didn't know you would miss me so much."

"Don't flatter yourself, Al," Y/N smirked, staring into his red eyes. "We could of used your help cleanin' though."

"Ah, it seems you did a fine job by yourselves,"

"Will you two just fuck already?" Angel asked, checking himself out in his compact mirror.

Alastor stayed silent, which was very out of character for him, and walked towards Charlie and Vaggie.

"Oh, you're blushin'" Angel smirked. "You wanna fuck him so bad,"

"You're so gross," Y/N said, walking to stand next to Alastor and Charlie.

"You ain't denying it!"

"Okay everyone!" Charlie said. "It's showtime!"

Charlie opened the doors, and behind them was a very small and pale man, dressed in some sort of circus ringleader get up.

"Charlie!" he exclaimed.

"Hey dad, oh!"

Lucifer engulfed Charlie in a giant hug. "Oh, it's so good to see you!"

"It's uh, good to see you too, dad," she said, pulling away from him. She cleared her throat. "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!"

Lucifer looked around before being distracted by Keke. "Oh, hewwo Keke!" he said in a baby voice. "Razzle, Dazzle! Oh, look how much you haven't grown. Still fun-sized! You taking care of my wittle girl? You better be,"

'Wow," Y/N thought. 'He is much shorter in real life.'

Lucifer began to walk around, taking in everything. "Wow! This place sure looks, uh, uh-huh. It's got a lot of character!"

"Oh! What in the unholy Hell is that?" Lucifer asked, regarding to the bar area.

"Just some of the renovations we had done," Alastor said. "Adds a bit of color don't you think?"

"And you are?" Lucifer asked, pointing his staff towards him.

"Alastor, quite a pleasure to be meeting you," Alastor appeared next to Lucifer. "Quite a pleasure. It's nice to finally put a face to the name. You are much shorter in real life."

"Who is this? Who is this man?" Lucifer frowned. "Are you the bellhop?"

Alastor laughed. "No! I am the host of the Hotel! You might have heard me from my radio broadcast,"

"Hmm, nope! I guess that's why they call the Has-been Hotel," Lucifer laughed.

"Ha ha ha! It was actually my idea,"

"Ha ha ha! Well it's not very clever!"

"Ha ha! Fuck you,"

"Okay, okay that's quite enough!" Y/N flew over, getting in between the two before things got ugly.

"And who are you?" Lucifer asked.

"I'm the facility manager, Your Highness," Y/N said, her hands behind her back. "I'm Y/N. Pleasure to be meetin' you."

"Uh huh, you too," Lucifer said, turning towards his daughter.

"Wow, rude much," Y/N muttered.

"Dad, look at this lovely parlor where people can get to know each other and share secrets and stories and intimate feelings!" Charlie squealed. "Without Alastor, we wouldn't have been able to pretty it up this much."

"Charlie has a very unique vision," Alastor said. "I am happy to fufill her bizarre requests."

"Aw, thank you Alastor," Charlie smiled up at him.

Lucifer did not like that, getting angry and quite literally foaming at the mouth and growling.

"Quite an impressive young lady," Alastor continued, pulling Charlie closer. "We're all very proud of her."

Lucifer cleared his throat. "Charlie, dear, why don't you introduce me to your other friends?"

"Oh! Yes of course!" Charlie said, pulling Vaggie over. "This is Vaggie. She's my girlfriend."

"Oh my golly! You like girls! So do I! We have so much in common!" Lucifer exclaimed. "You put it there, Maggie!" Lucifer grabbed Vaggie, pulling her into a crushing hug. "She's so pretty."

"Lovely to meet you, sir," Vaggie stammered.

"And this is Sir Pentious and Angel Dust, our guests!" Charlie introduced.

"Your Majesty!" Pentious saluted before falling face first into the cookies. "Heya short king," Angel smirked.

"Husk is our bartender and Niffty is our housekeeper,"

"Nice to meet you," Husk grumbled.

"Hello," Niffty giggled, climbing on Lucifer. "I clean."

Suddenly there was a big crash, the chandelier in the middle of the room. Everyone was coughing due to the dust that was everywhere.

'Great,' Y/N thought. 'I'm gonna have to fix that,'

Lucifer stood in front of the chandelier, laughing. "All right then."

(i couldn't figure out to write this song into dialogue, so im just gonna skip it. im sorry to all the people that like this song.)

"Who are you?" Lucifer asked after a strange woman busted through the door, announcing her entrance. The woman looked strangely familiar, but Y/N couldn't remember where she had seen her. 

"Didn't you just hear me?" the woman frowned. "Why is everybody gawkin'? Is it 'cause I'm adorable?"

"Mimzy!" Alastor exclaimed with open arms.

"Alastor! Sweetie, dollface! So good to see you!" Mimzy said.

'No way,' Y/N thought. 'Mimzy's here too?'

"How you been? Good? Good," Mimzy and Alastor hugged.

"Mimzy? Is that really you?" Y/N asked, pushing her way towards her.

"Y/N? No fuckin' way, you're here too and you're The Assassin?" Mimzy gasped walking over and hugging her. "How'd a sweetie pie like you end up in a place like this?"

"That's a story for another time," Y/N chuckled, not feeling like telling her old friend that she used to kill people for a living. "Nevermind that, what are you doin' here?"

"I was in the neighborhood, heard that Alastor was staying at this ritzy slob factory and I figured I'd stop by! Say hi for old times sake," Mimzy said, looking around. Y/N felt a little insulted by what Mimzy said, but she ignored it.

"Of course honey," Y/N smiled. "Everyone is welcome here."

"Oh, how nice," Charlie gushed. "So you three know each other?"

"Yeah, we go way back," Mimzy answered. "Ran in the same circles when we were alive. These two used to go on dates at the club I used to perform."

"Wait," Charlie gasped, pointing between Y/N and Alastor. "You guys used to date?"

"Uh, yeah," Y/N blushed, avoiding Alastor's eyes. "But it was a long time ago."

"Aww that's so cute!" Charlie gushed.

"Oh, oh my stars," Mimzy said. "Is that Lucifer?" She stared at him for a little bit before making her way towards him. "Move it!" she pushed Sir Pentious out of the way. She bowed before Lucifer. "Pleased to meet you, Your Highness. Alastor, you got to warn a girl when she's in mixed company."

"Charmed, I'm sure," Lucifer had a fake smile on his face.

"As much as I'd love to catch up, Charlie, Y/N, and I have a tour to continue," Alastor said.

"Wait, me too?" Y/N asked.

"Why, of course! You're the facility manager, you are an important to the Hotel, without you, the Hotel would be in shambles!"

"I've never really thought about it like that," Y/N smiled.

"I'm sure Charlie can handle showing me around on-" Lucifer started, beginning to drag Charlie away.

"Nonsense, we started the Hotel together and we'll show it off together, right Charlie?" Alastor said.

"Oh, right," Charlie nervously answered.

"Why don't you let the others help you settle in and me and Y/N will be back before you know it," Alastor said to Mimzy.

Alastor and Y/N walked besides each other, Lucifer, Charlie and Vaggie not too far ahead of them.

"How come you didn't tell me Mimzy was down here?" Y/N whispered as Charlie explained what the Hotel was.

"Didn't think to tell you, my dear," Alastor whispered back. "I was too busy focusing on the fact that a sweetheart like you was down here."

Y/N rolled her eyes. "You already know why I'm down here, Al,"

"Doesn't mean it's still surprising," Alastor chuckled. "I do wish you would of told me what you were up to."

"Yeah me too," Y/N said. "Definitely would of made things a lot more interesting and fun. You could have helped me with the harder targets."

"Sounds like a thrilling time,"

The two of them stopped talking, listening to Charlie rant about the Hotel to her dad.

"So once we have the proof that redemption is possible, this whole hotel will be full of demons wanting to check out into Heaven!" Charlie explained. "We just need a little more time to prove it! The sharing circles haven't been working-"

"Hey boss," Husk said from behind Y/N and Husk. "Can I have a word?"

"Go on, my dear, I'll catch up in a bit," Alastor said to Y/N.

Y/N nodded and caught up to Charlie, Vaggie and Lucifer.

Y/N flew into the lobby, wanting a drink before she had to spend anymore time with the King of Hell. She finished the tour early, opting to give Vaggie, Charlie and Lucifer some time to themselves.

"Ah! There you are dollface!" Mimzy said from the bar. "Was wonderin' when you'd show up. Where's Alastor?"

"No clue, he kinda left in the middle of the tour," Y/N said, sitting down next to Angel Dust.

"Hey sugartits, you never told me that you and Smiles used to bang," he smirked.

Y/N rolled her eyes, blushing furiously. "Why would I tell you that? Besides it was a long time ago."

"Doesn't matter, you still should've told me," Angel wiggled his eyebrows. "What made you wanna ditch him, hmm?"

Y/N's mind went back to the very moment when she got the phone call from the police station. She didn't ever want to relive that moment, especially now that she had Alastor back. Right as she was about to open her mouth, a big bang came from outside, making the Hotel shake.

"The fuck was that?" Angel asked.

"No fuckin' clue," Y/N said, stretching out her wings, preparing to attack anyone.

"Mimzy! We know you're in there you lousy bitch!" said a rough voice from outside.

"Oh shit," Mimzy said, dropping to the floor.

"What's going on?" Charlie said, her, Vaggie and Lucifer coming through an angelic portal.

"I may be in trouble with some loan sharks," Mimzy nervously answered. "I may or may not have borrowed fifty grand-eek!" she squealed, ducking behind the bar. "-and I may have stolen a car. And crashed it. Into the loan shark's girlfriend. But that bitch had it coming!"

"Are you fuckin' serious Mimzy!?" Y/N yelled.

Fireballs started coming through the Hotel, crashing through the walls and the windows. Setting the floors on fire as they landed.

"My windows!" Niffty sobbed.

"We're under siege!" Sir Pentious exclaimed. "Take cover!"

It was complete and utter chaos. Glass and rubble were falling, fireballs were flying everywhere, some piece of furniture were on fire or completely burnt, and Niffty would of gotten crushed by a big piece of rubble in Sir Pentious didn't pull her out of the way.

Maybe the word chaos was an understatement.

Y/N had to do something.

"All of you get a safe distance!" Vaggie said, holding her spear. "I'll take care of this,"

"No Vaggie, it's fine," Y/N said, her eyes glowing red. "Let this be a lesson to every other asshole who thinks they can mess with the Hotel."

"Ugh finally!" Mimzy groaned. "Took ya long enough! I was hopin' for Alastor but you'll do just fine, dollface!"

Y/N walked out of the hotel, no weapons on her, just calmly walking out of the hotel, the ghost of a smirk on her face.

"Y'know you assholes are gonna need to pay for all these repairs," she drawls out. "Didn't your mother ever tell you to clean up your messes?"

"Holy shit, that's the fucking Assassin," one of the loan sharks gasps.

"What should we do boss?" another one asks.

"Kill her! Shouldn't be that hard, she's a woman," the boss roared, aiming another fireball at her.

Y/N's smirk grew even bigger. "You're gonna regret that,"

She unfurled her wings, flying up as high as she can into the sky before crashing back down like a bullet. The impact shattered the pavement beneath her. A violent gust of wind erupted from the force of her landing, sending debris and some of the shark demons tumbling backward.

She rises, her red hot eyes gleaming like fire. She summons a battle axe, the axe suddenly in her grip at the speed of light. She has a sinister grin on her face, blood dripping from the corner of her mouth.

The boss steps forward, sizing her up. "Aren't you being a little bit dramatic, sweetheart?"

Y/N's lip curls. "That's the point."

They attack.

A demon lunges, she pivots, swinging her axe. The blade connects with his side, sending him flying through a nearby car. Another charges from behind, she flicks her wrist, materializing a curved dagger in her offhand. In one fluid motion, she turns, slashing upward, cutting through the demon's suit and flesh.

"Yeah! Kick their asses!" Y/N can hear Mimzy cheer.

More demons start to rush her, but stop and start to tremble in fear.

Her body starts to shift, twist, and expand in a way that belongs in a horror movie. Her wings, massive, jagged, gray, unfurl like a storm on the horizon. Her hands elongate into razor-sharp talons. Her mouth stretches into a hooked beak, her fangs gleaming in the light of the fireballs still flying into the Hotel.

And her eyes.

Her burning, red eyes settle on the loan sharks like a god passing judgment.

Then, she moves.

She takes off, the force of her wings blasting the loan sharks like ragdolls. In an instant, she's above them, diving like a missile.

Her talons sink into a loan sharks shoulders, lifting him off the ground before she hurls him somewhere in the distance. She summons spears midair, flinging them with deadly precision, each one impaling a target.

Another loan shark raises his gun, Y/N summons another spear, sending it hurtling through his weapon, and his skull.

The boss, realizing that he doesn't have a chance at winning this fight, turns to run.

But Y/N is much faster.

She beats her wings once, only once, and in the blink of an eye, she's in front of him. He barely has time to gasp before her talons slam him into the pavement. She leans down, her glowing beak inches from his face. "Leaving so soon?"

The boss whimpers in pain. Before he can say anything, Y/N summons another axe and buries the blade into his face.

Y/N shrinked down to her regular form, panting but with a giddy smile on her face. "Oh, how much I missed getting to rip people apart,"

Mimzy and Alastor are standing in the doorway, both of their eyes wide.

"Wow, that was amazing, dollface!" Mimzy gushed. "You have got to show me how to do that sometime! You did a fantastic job!"

Y/N walked towards the two of them, her eyes narrowed at Mimzy but not saying anything.

"Thanks for helpin' little ol' me out of a tough spot," Mimzy continued. "You're such a sweetheart,"

Y/N stood next to Alastor, still glaring down at Mimzy.

"Sorry about the mess," Mimzy nervously said. "But I'm sure the little bug can take care of it for you."

"I think you should go, Mimzy," Alastor spoke up. "Now."

"Oh, Alastor, you're such a kidder you," Mimzy scoffed. "You are so funny."

"I mean it," Alastor said. "You deliberately brought danger to this place just to have me clean up your mess. I can't have that here."

"But you love taking care of me," Mimzy said, not listening. "What, you two don't actually give a shit about this tacky place do you? Come on Alastor, I know you, you heartless, son of a bitch."

"Mimzy, you are welcome if you actually want to try and get redeemed, but even I know that's not your style," Y/N said. "So you need to leave."

"Well fine. Who needs ya?" Mimzy frowned. "Have fun with your little princess and your little hotel and pretending you don't wanna fuck each other's brains out. See if I care!"

Mimzy walked away, flipping the two of them off behind her shoulder. 

"I forgot how much of a bitch she could be," Y/N chuckled.

Alastor laughed, putting his hand on Y/N's shoulder. "I apologize that you had to deal with one of her messes,"

"It's fine, I needed the adrenaline rush anyway,"

The two of them walked inside, seeing Charlie and Lucifer talking more seriously and emotionally.

"Charlie, you don't understand," Lucifer said. "Heaven never listens. They didn't listen to me. They won't listen to you."

"You don't know that!" Charlie yelled.

"I do," Lucifer said, hanging his head.

(again i couldn't figure out how to write this out, so i'm just gonna skip it for now. i'm sorry to anyone who likes the song)

Y/N wiped her eyes, not wanting her tears to fall. She didn't cry often and when she did, it was for a very good reason, this being one of them. It was really sweet and touching watching Charlie and Lucifer reconnect with each other.

Sir Pentious seemed to agree, tears also gathering up in his eyes. "Aw, that was ssssweet,"

"Okay, I can get you the meeting but once you're in Heaven, I won't be able to go with you," Lucifer said. "Will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine," Charlie smiled.

"That's my girl," Lucifer smiled back. He stepped back, sighing before he conjured up another portal. "Good luck, kiddo," he said before disappearing.

"This next part is going to be scary," Vaggie said, walking over to Charlie. "You ready?"

"I'm ready," Charlie replied, hugging Vaggie. "'Cause you'll be with me."

"In spirit, right?" Vaggie asked.

"In Heaven,"

"Yay,"

--

i did NOT know how to end this lmaoo

sorry that alastor and y/n didn't get a lot of time together in this chapter

i plan to make up for it in later chapters

stay safe and drink lots of water <33

xoxo, Izzy

Taglist:

@maksdust @trippoverrt @slytherin4ever @lucifers-silhouette @a-small-tyrant

@mo-0-o @cutiebimbo @bbakaricanbake @mommymilkers0526 @mikariell95

@al-of-the-stars @martinys-world @mysticwitchcraftco @the-spamtong-1997 @flamewriterr

@diffidentphantom

[quitealotofsodapop]

Known your not feeling well and I'm sorry to ask but this idea for jttw stoen egg au just kept nagging at me. This takes place during the Journey of course since it's, essentially, during and right after the Camel Ridge incident.

After the rather disastrous meeting of Wukong's brothers, whom entire existence explains way too much about their most chaotic member for the Pilgrim's comfort, particularly in regards to his habit ofmputting himself into danger without a second thought and reavted to even the alightest hint of failure, Tripitaka determines they need a break. So they find an inn.

Macaque, he lost his eye. Unlike in the other aus, it wasn't Wukong who took it. It was Azure. And Wukong is absolutely distraught over both how things escalated and how he had unintentionally been forced into the position of a damsel in distress by Azure. The way his trusted elder brothers, whom he had looked up to, had turned against him and how the man he had admired had crippled his precious mate to whom he only recently reunited with he himself unable to do anything due to his baby! How he had intentionally kept Macaque away from him, he later discovered. It all culminated into a very, very upset monkey.

Macaque for the most part is okay with the loss of his eye. As far as he's concerned, it's a small price to pay for to make up for how horrible a mate he's been to his Peaches and what any person would do to protect their mate. He's too injured to really do much of anything, but he tries to stay as close to Wukong as possible. Ao Lie finds it sweet.

Tripitaka, however, is not happy. He had trusted in the bonds of Wukong's family, having had nothing but good, if terrifying experiences with them, and had nearly lost Wukong because he'd trusted the wrong demon! He isn't mad at Wukong or Macaque, as neither were really at fault since nobody expected Azure to pull that stunt, but the fact it happened angers him. To discover his first disciple had suffered and been betrayed by one he trusted enough to call brother is nothing less than an outrage to him. The more he learns about Wukong's treatment by the Brotherhood from Macaque, the more Tripitaka wishes he had not been a pacifist.

Wujing and Baije have had their worlds rocked in an irreparable way. They'd already accepted that their belief about Wukong being the monster they had once thought he was most certainly had been destroyed by then. Zu Baijie has even come to tease Wukong as his Little Big Brother and looked forward to being an uncle for Wukong's cub! But to discover all of Heaven's beliefs about the Havoc and the War thay followed was a fallacy created by one man who manipulated their brother into doing the crimes he did when he was but a cub... it doesn't sit right for either of them, and they notably stand closer and more protectively of Wukong for a bit. As close as his overprotective mate will allow them, at least, yikes! And Baijie had thought Ao Lie was aggressively protective! He's got nothing on the shadow monkey!

prev.

Ohhhh the idea of Mac losing his eye to Azure in the Jttw SE au is galaxy brain. Since Mac lost his eye in his canon fight with Wukong, losing the eye whilst choosing to protect Wukong is a really good story twist!

The Pilgrims and the Brotherhood are not having a good first meeting, and Macaque sees it all go down.

He hates the Pilgrims personally; dragging his King away from the island where he's needed, forcing him to act as an errand boy for the Buddha, that disgusting circlet with the mantra even he feels in his skull.

Macaque had watched Wukong and his travelling companions from afar long before revealing himself to them. He had overheard the jubilant calls from Flower Fruit Mountain that the King had returned - but also heard the disappointed confirmation that he had chosen to continue on a pilgrimage with the Tang Monk to Thunderclap Monastery. The shadow monkey had leapt from his employment with Jiuweihuli to devote himself entirely to tracking down his returned mate (the vixen had not minded, she understood that her protégé's heart was yearning).

Macaque trailed the group for weeks before the Brotherhood ever thought to ask him for his input. Macaque had spat his hatred for the hypocritical monk, the perverted swine, the thoughtless fish, and the useless dragon-horse, so venomously that the three demon kings were convinced of his loyalty to them.

However, Macaque's disdain for the Pilgrims did *not* mean his devotion to Wukong swayed. Because something disgusts him even more than this whole Journey;

How his former brother Azure treats Wukong.

Treating Macaque's King, his Peaches, his Mate; like he owned him. That Wukong surrendering was tantamount to betrayal. They speak of him as though he's one of the gods that repressed them. Their sworn brother, the person who sacrificed his freedom for their survival!

Then Azure grabs Wukong by the shoulder and orders that the king stay in Camel Ridge. Giving their former leader an offer that sounds far too layered and provocative to be one of mere loyalty...

Macaque: "I'm going to have to stop you right there Azure. Wukong goes where he damn well pleases. And if he doesn't want to stay here with you, then he should be allowed to leave." Azure: (*dumbstruck by Macaque's outburst*) Peng: (*shocked but impressed bird noise!*) Yellow Tusk: (*calmly prepares for the rumble thats about to go down*) Wukong, in awe at Mac's protective act: "Mihou..." Macaque, rushes over to Wukong: "Peaches... I- I thought it was wrong for you to go on this pilgrimage, but you've... healed. You were really hurt when they sent you under that mountain, I saw it first hand, and even though I don't care for your companions-" Zhu Bajie: "Hey!" Macaque, continues: "-they clearly have your best interests in mind. They jump to protect you, even though they know you're strong enough to bend the sky in half. I've seen the Monk allow himself to be tossed from a horse's saddle just to convince you to ride instead of walk in your condition." Wukong, happy tears: "Master's cassock is still stained from that day..." Macaque, happy laughter: "And I still have the bite wound from when I first approached you. From the monk!" (*Wukong & Macaque press their foreheads together with affection*) Macaque: "This is going to sound... absolutely insane, but from what I've seen and heard in the few weeks... I'd like to stay along for the ride. If you'd have me." Wukong, trying to hide his joy: "You mean it?! You'll come with us all the way to India!?" Macaque: "Yup. Beyond that too." (*gently places hand on Wukong's mid-section*) "I wanna be there to see the Egg come into this world. And be there to see how much havoc they cause our kingdom." (*Romantic monkey noises ensue!*) Tripitaka: "Um... I'd hate to intrude-" Zhu Bajie: "No you don't." Tripitaka: "True. But we are currently in the middle of being attacked by three of your former sworn brothers." The Brotherhood: (*already mid-battle with Ao Lie and Sha Wujing*) Macaque & Wukong: "Oh yeah..." "Forgot they were still here..." Macaque: "Be back in a moment peaches." Macaque: (*Rushes at Azure and turns into his Kaiju form*) Wukong: (*purring and heart-eyes*) (*♥ω♥)

The ensuing fight is pretty brutal, all things considered. Even though Wukong does swing his staff around, the others don't want to risk his health in his condition. Tripitaka and Ao Lie in particular keep trying to route Wukong away from the battle entirely.

Macaque and the dragon end up forming a tag team to take down Azure, whilst Bajie and Wujing deal with Peng and Yellow Tusk respectively.

Azure suddenly changes course, aiming his sword for Wukong's middle.

Macaque jumps ahead of the swing.

Wukong screams as blood sprays both him and Azure.

Macaque crumbles to the ground, his face a red mess. A massive gash stretching across his face and cutting through his right socket.

Wukong feels his heart stop.

And within seconds; Yama and the Ten Kings greet the three rogue celestial animals in their court. The bodhisattvas and the Buddha's most trustworthy arrive shortly thereafter, looking supremely disgusted with their steeds' actions.

-

Macaque is out cold for days afterwards. The Pilgrims find the nearest inn brave enough to operate in demon territory. The monkey is silent and unmoving, but his heart still beats. Wukong refuses to leave his bedside for even a moment.

The Pilgrims finally understand how much both monkeys mean to one another.

Bajie does his best to comfort his little-big brother, feeling the sympathy of a hundred heartbreaks. He takes over cooking duties without being asked for the first time in forever. He starts making soups.

Ao Lie sneaks into the room in his smaller dragon form, curling against Macaque's body and whispering for him to please wake up and not leave brother Wukong to raise his pup without his mate.

Tripitaka is furious. Not at his disciple or even his disciple's antagonistic mate. But at the Brotherhood, at the Taoist Gods, himself - every level of anger he's every felt in one lifetime. Wukong even hears his Master attempt to take his rage out on his holy vestments (he had thought to strike a tree or rock but decided against it). The cassock and hat are noticeably crumpled the next time Wukong sees him.

Sha Wujing is the one to suggest that they all come together and meditate and pray in this dark moment. His qi exhausted from (without his brothers' knowledge) astrally contacting any and all people who may wish to see the Macaque one last time. He felt it was the least he could do.

Guanyin appears, called forth by each Pilgrim praying for the shadow monkey's survival. A certain king's prayer the loudest of them all. All the goddess can provide is a drop of her healing waters to awaken Macaque from his coma.

Macaque right eye is permanently blinded. Azure's divine attack destroyed it entirely. A blow meant for Wukong - no, meant for the Egg. Without even caring for his injury, Macaque immediately springs forward, worried about his King.

Wukong cries so hard with relief that he gets hiccups. Him and Macaque do not part from their embrace for hours.

The Stone Egg begins kicking for the first time.

[smosh-fessions]

Ify ask: sorry for the typos. My hands were shaking trying to recount it because it made me so upset.

Not only was his response mean, but it was so demeaning. He ended calling the OG poster weird and parasocial and then, basically extending his bad take, told them they needed to get a job. Their original post was just recalling the event, and expounding on the societal factors that got people so upset by it and why they also disagreed. The only time they tried to relate it to Ify and Rachel was just listing the potential backgrounds people may have for why they’d have that perspective. Never once called them bad people or anything close. Reddit stories is one of Smosh’s most personal segments. The opinions will be attributed to the personalities involved. That’s just how it is.

The original poster’s response was so heartbreaking. They eventually expounded on why they’re not in college rn: debt and illness, so things affecting huge portions of the population. It’s just been so unfairly mean to someone who didn’t seem to be acting in bad faith at all. They’re just really interested in smosh and the channel’s history, and wants to engage in interesting convos about it.

Even if they were slightly meaner, I don’t see why you’d use your much bigger platform to do respond about an old bad take like this. The take was bad then, and it’s aged like milk since. Surely you can reflect and see why.

The expression on my face can only be called 'yikes on bikes'.

That's so deeply uncalled for of him to do and I'm even more disappointed than I was. He of all people should be aware as well that you can make videos criticizing media or talking through them while having a job. I hate the response to anyone who's passionate about something from the webosphere is to tell them to get a job. How long do you think it takes to fire off a tweet, a Tumblr post, or make the average tiktok? Cause it sure as hell is not more than ten minutes on any front. You could make fifteen tiktok on your lunch break!

The fact that the OP is disabled and struggling financially makes this even worse and highlights why that response is also just ableist. I know from experience that disabled people get that thrown in their face all the time, and to have someone you once respected throw it at you hurts all the more.

Do better, Ify. Learn how to take criticism. Your take fucking sucked and congratulations on showing you haven't learned from the response it got at all!

[babyhatesreality]

hello hello! i hope you’re well!💕 imagine the following:

baby being a hot chip fiend.

the thought has not left me. i’m plagued with thoughts of it on the daily.😭

since katie cat is a modern little, the thought of her enjoying and munching away on takis or hot cheetos while steve and/or bucky just recoil at the spiciness of it just makes me laugh.

especially since steve and bucky were just raised in a completely different time, a stomachache waiting to happen for them, is literally just a casual little snack for her.😭💀

however, there’s also the possibility that at least one of them…bucky would like the spice.

OMG @spoopynortherndownwhore!! So this is hilarious for a multitude of reasons. The first being- I adore this idea and it makes me laugh so hard- you are a genius. Also I'm so sorry for the delay. The second- I am the absolute opposite of a hot chip fiend. Like some of the Taco Bell mild stuff is too much for me. So I have absolutely no idea how to write it because I am literally that person that get a whiff of a spicy scent and starts making faces like a two year old confronted with broccoli.

So all that being said....Imma make some stuff up because it makes me laugh and because you are amazing and I hope it makes you laugh!

This one time you were grocery shopping with Bucky, and a package of Flaming Cheetos caught your eye. You thought the cheetah with the fire behind him was pretty, so you asked if you could get it.

Bucky wasn't sure about this. "Baby, these are hot and spicy. I don't think you're gonna like 'em." But when your face crumpled with disappointment, of course he couldn't handle that. He tossed them right into the basket. "What the heck. Let's live a little."

Your cheering and giggles was all he needed to know it was the right move.

Once you got home, you were desperate to try them, but Bucky insisted on you eating a normal lunch first. Once you finished your pb&j and carrot sticks, you both decided to try them together.

At the first taste, your eyes widened from the burn, your nose wrinkled as it ran, and your tongue felt like it was on fire. And you liked it a lot. You didn't care for the burn, but once you got past that the taste was really good! You reached for another one, but your hand was intercepted.

Because Bucky, who had popped one in at the same time as you, was nearly gagging. He felt like his face was exploding, his guts were on fire, and he didn't even want to think about what was happening in his colon.

"Absolutely not," he wheezed at you, keeping a hold of your hand while snatching the bag. He put the offending fire chips from hell in the top cabinet above the fridge where you couldn't reach even with your step stool before grabbing the gallon of milk. He sloshed some into your glass quickly, before drinking straight from the jug himself.

Once he tamed the burn, he became aware that you were just watching him curiously, having not touched your milk at all.

"Didn't that burn?" Bucky asked, his voice still hoarse from the spice. You nodded.

"Yeah but it was fun!"

"FUN?!"

"Yup! Can I have another?"

"No, baby, I don't want it to hurt your tummy."

"Doesn't hurt!"

"It might not hurt now, but it'll hurt later. No more flaming hot cheetos."

"Dat's no fun."

"You'll thank me later."

"You didn't like dem, Daddy?"

"They're not gonna like ME, munchkin. Drink your milk please."

After you had obeyed and had a milk mustache, you tried again. "Dey didn't taste good to you?"

"They tasted fine, but that burn....yikes," Bucky mumbled as he wiped your face.

"I like da taste too!"

"The taste WAS good, but it's not worth it."

"Please, Daddy? Just one more?"

"Sorry Trouble, it's not happening again."

"But what if Papa like da taste? Can he has them?"

"Okay, now THAT'S a fun idea."

Later that night, Bucky had convinced Steve to try one, and relented on letting you have another- mostly so he could watch Steve's reaction to you having no reaction.

It went exactly how you think it would go.

Steve banned them from the house after watching you down three cheetos in a row in absolute horror.

When you asked what was going to happen to the rest of the cheetos since they weren't allowed in the house anymore, Bucky brushed it off, saying they'd take care of it.

What you didn't know, was after Steve had tucked you into your bed that night, he caught Bucky sneaking a handful of them in the kitchen pantry with a tub of ice cream next to him.

Bucky just blinked at him innocent. "Don't you judge me, Rogers."

"Fine, Barnes. But you either point your ass the other way in bed tonight, or you're sleeping on the couch."

[stedes-tarty-pink-robe]

IWTV Season 2 Episode 5 Thoughts

Great episode. It went so many places emotionally. We get Louis wising up, Armand in full predator mode and a shift in the alliances. It's no longer Armand and Louis as a "united front" against Daniel but Daniel and Louis united in pursuit of the truth.

Some thoughts as I watched:

- Young Daniel didn't have "fucking in a coffin" on his bingo card, but he wants it now that it's an option.

-  I think this episode is warming me to Danlou

     Present Daniel: did we bang back then?

     Present Louis (laughing it off) I'd never. (Gets serious) Unless you want to do it now.

- Young Daniel: "Are you the Zodiac Killer?" Daniel ... baby. I know you're high, but really? I'm glad you grew more of brain in later years. As current Daniel put it, you were a moron.

- Uh, oh. Louis's suicidal ideation popping up again. He was not just recounting the feelings from back then. He was actively longing for the sun as he spoke to Young Daniel.

- Yikes at Young Daniel presuming way too much too soon. Comparing himself to Louis's loved ones after one night is ludicrous. Didn't deserve to almost be killed for it, but yeesh.

- Louis hit hard with that speech about how dull Armand is. He doesn't need the Fire Gift for that burn.

- Holy shit. Loumand's going full A Marriage Story. These resentments needed to be aired out, but not like this. They're two vipers who know exactly where to inject their venom to make the other suffer.

- Ouch. I hate being right in this case. Past Louis walked into the sun. And here modern Louis is, his heart breaking as he realizes he had a suicide attempt he wasn't aware of.

- Oh, wow. Louis tried to reverse uno Lestat into seeking him out by publishing blatant slander just like Lestat got Louis to seek him out by sending him a love song but using his mistress's voice. God. They really are two fucked up peas in a pod.

- Poor burnt up Louis. Armand may have saved him from the sun, but he is holding that grudge something fierce. He's in full coven leader mode, dealing with witnesses and interrogating Daniel with a brutal practicality. Reasserting his dominance on Louis (emotionally) and Young Daniel (the whole shebang of torment for being the easy scapegoat). Armand is so frightening when he puppeteers Young Daniel and breaks him down to the worst aspects of himself. As Armand previously said, he's good at finding the vulnerability in the object.

- I do not believe for a second that Armand was going to let Louis go. That coffin scene is Grade A manipulation on Armand's part to guilt Louis into staying. Sure, the emotions Armand claims are real - the best manipulations have truth to them - but Armand's expertly wielding them to achieve his goals - make himself look like a love martyr and Louis feel like a bad person if he doesn't stay.

- Armand being the gentle death, soothing Young Daniel as he washes him and coaxes him into accepting an early grave. How much was Daniel's dumpster fire of a personal life the result of him chasing a high and how much was because Armand mindscrewed him into thinking that such a disappointing life was inevitable?

- Louis upped his manipulation game, too. He got Armand to spare Daniel by reaffirming the vows so to speak.

- Aww. What Louis told Young Daniel was so sweet. While Armand's words guided him to self-destruction, Louis's gave him hope in his darkest times.

- Oh, fine. Danlou can join Loustat in my prefered ships in this adaptation. You won me over, show.

- Yes! Louis finally realizes Armand scrubbed his brain like it was a crime scene. That throbbing neck vein doesn't lie. Louis is big mad at Armand.

[lilac-hecox]

i know this sucks ass but i'm just sending you this because another anon asked you about it a few days ago. apparently, damien is dating a person named chel who's very controversial in the convention-sphere. yikes

My smoshblr 2025 discord server has been talking about it so I know a little but all things considered that is pretty disappointing to find he is still dating them after the crappy stuff they have done!

[satancopilotsmytardis]

Obsession was so good!!! 

"He expects his flesh to bubble and burn, expects it to cut through those surface layers of it and leave him without the limb again"

I'm sorry again?? And how he immediately stood in the light afterward??? My fucking heart

"All For One had come to check up on him, and Tomura had clung to him, not understanding what had happened to him. But he could smell that the other man was... angry, unhappy, disappointed. He knew it was his fault that he felt those things and Tomura had done his best to stop crying as he had been taken back to the doctor."

I WILL FIGHT THAT MAN!!! Your version of Tomuras upbringing is always incredible, I'm eating it up whenever it features, and this fic was wonderfully painful thank you lol

Dabi being afraid of muscular :(( damn endeavor

Shig leaving a cold spot on the bed is so funny

I love that you kept the boys relationship pretty sweet while sticking to the obsession prompt!! That dynamic works well for them. Shig gets to be mildly creepy, Dabi never feels ignored again, win win

All the pet names in Tomuras inner monologue are adorable. Wildfire <3

The spit kink..... I'm insane. Dabi you slut (affectionate)

"The heady thought of drinking enough that his firefly won't be able to get hard flits through his mind. He tucks that thought away for later." 

PULL IT BACK OUT TELL ME EVERYTHING

Oooh the misunderstanding. Poor Dabi. I feel awful for Tomura too but also yikes that phone call

"You were sucking and fucking me six ways to Sunday!"

"Such a fucking creep." His mouth is full of his fangs as he sees the other looking so good against his sheets again. "Yeah." 

I snorted

I loved their whole argument, Dabi's so upset but he's scary as hell when we're not in his head

"Tomura thinks, maybe, that means that Dabi's heartbeat will be his from now on too and that makes the silence in his own chest far less deafening."

Such a beautiful line to wrap up this fic!! Thank you tanco

Today was such an ordeal (SQUIRRELS ATE MY INTERNET CABLE) and this was such a nice ask to receive after all of that.

Ujiko and AFO have definitely been torturing that poor boy for years under the guise of making him 'better' and Tomura definitely just got used to putting up with it.

AFO is a POS adoptive father and he always will be!!

Dabi doesn't do well with hulking figures who use their physical strength to get what they want :)

This is PEAK dynamic for them lol, Shigaraki is already always slightly creepy anyway so it it just makes sense.

wildfire is absolutely entering the rotation of pet names from now on

mmm, Tomura having Dabi in his lap, his back to his chest as he makes Dabi touch himself while he whispers filthy things in his ear and licks and nibbles on his neck, refusing to break skin until Dabi is so close to his orgasm. He bites and drains his blood so that as Dabi cums, he's doing it as he softens and makes him keep stroking himself until he thinks he's ready to go again, even though he's still not hard before he lets his pretty human sip at his veins and watches as he hardens and cums rapidly a second time, cooing over how cute he is 💕

Dabi was peak angry pomeranian in this one and we love to see it.

Thank you so much for the kind words! This really made my day!

[hupla222]

Episode 83: Some Thoughts

What a pleasant little talking episode. A lot of new information thrown around on top of some stuff we already knew. Let's get into it I suppose. Before I do, two things to note. One: Amethio is still a D tier character. Two: the baby pictures of Amethio are hecking cutest thing (just look at his little face!)

First things first I suppose. We learn a little more about Spinel's plan, something about a sphere. That cannot be good. We also have Hamber finally catching on the Spinel is up to no good. What a relief to know that someone else can see it. It seems Spinel's influence is spreading throughout Exceed without Cervantes's input. Good to know the man isn't completely evil (Cervantes not Spinel lol). Yikes. Makes me wonder just how long Spinel has been working there.

I enjoyed the small snippets of information about the other three admins as well. With Coral and Sidian at the beginning seeming genuinely disappointed Amethio wasn't going with them and the confirmation of one of my headcanons, that being that Hamber trained the duo (and Chalce too I guess but I assume for a much shorter amount of time since the duo is far more loyal to him). Makes me wonder who the heck Chalce was before since I assumed she was a researcher at Exceed as well but that clearly isn't the case.

Sure was a lot more talk of death this episode than I was expecting. i mean, died in a car crash. That's brutal. And Gibeon practically dying as well (although he was saved). Maybe my Laquium infection idea isn't so out of left field after all lol. I have to wonder just how skewed Hamber's recalling of the past is considering he got this all directly from Gibeon. Rystal's story painted him in a much worse light. And I'm sure Lucius himself has yet another wildly different view on how things went down.

Finally, as much as it pains me to do so, I must say that this episode finally killed once and for all my brothers theory. It was fun while it lasted but at this point I cannot pretend that it is any sort of plausible. I kinda knew from the beginning it wasn't gonna happen but it was fun to think something so outlandish could happen. Oh well. I'm having a lot of fun with my more realistic origin for the troublesome duo anyway (look forward to that post sometime!)

[clonerightsagenda]

Ok this might actually be my meanest (?) w359 opinion so I'm not tagging it but I'm bored and was spurred by posts I saw from another fandom to consider relationship analysis and shipping trends so

The way the fandom approaches the Jacobi/Eiffel ship is kind of fascinating to me. Sure on the surface it is a classic two men standing next to each other manifestation, particularly as they are the last two men with a pulse, but there are Layers. I've lost count of how many people I've seen insisting on the fascinating and undeniable canon dynamic these characters have when imo each of them has more interesting interactions with literally every other character. And listen, while I'm not a shipper by trade, I find relationship analysis fun! Especially if you can map everything out tidily and then go 'yikes'. I used to write posts like that all the time for kicks. In the spirit of good will I dedicated an entire relisten to trying to see where people were coming from. I really tried! Maybe I just didn't care enough about the men. Maybe I was insufficiently equipped with shipping goggles. Surely there had to be something here for so many people to insist on it.

Not really. I came up empty.

(Sidenote, one moment I see people comment on is Jacobi asking for both Maxwell and Eiffel to promise they'll reconnect with him in "Time to Kill". However, there are three people in the capsule besides himself - Lovelace, Maxwell, and Eiffel - and Lovelace was the first one to say "I promise". Jacobi isn't singling Eiffel out. He's getting a promise from everyone.)

But here's what fascinates me and what elevates this from just another garden variety 'we gotta smash the guys together'. This lack of a fleshed out dynamic is arguably an asset. At the end of the show, Eiffel (or, rather, Doug, as I tend to distinguish the two) has had his memories erased. Most of the crew are expecting things from him and likely putting a lot of pressure on him to be a certain way. It must be incredibly stressful knowing people look at you and wish you were someone else, expect you to behave a way you can't and maybe don't want to anymore.

Not Jacobi though. He doesn't give a shit. And that might make him more appealing to Doug. Finally someone who doesn't have expectations of who he ought to be, and whose bland disinterest might be preferable to tearful disappointment. Would Jacobi want the amnesiac hovering around him for a break from the sad facial expressions and probing questions? Probably not. But this is the take on a connection between them that's most believable to me, and it's intriguing that most people seem to pass it up in favor of insisting there's a pre-existing dynamic that I just can't find.

Of course, perhaps the real reason most people don't want to dwell on postcanon Doug gravitating toward people who don't miss him is because they do not want to embrace the best postcanon headcanon dear to my heart, Doug and Miranda being weird friends.