#that's gonna take you a while friendo

[gallavichsreddie1128]

In the back of the Honda (Deadpool)

Description: Y/N and Wade fuck in the back of the Honda

Warning: Smut

Word Count: 1,346k

Request: can we have a deadpool smut in the suit ?

Being in the void with Wade and Logan wasn’t so fun after all. Y/N thought that they would be a good team and could take on the world but she was wrong. All they kept doing was fighting and it was starting to piss her off. At first it was funny but now? After dealing with Nova, it was annoying. “Guys can you be serious for once?” She asked but they ignored her. Logan seemed to hate Wade’s guts especially after hearing that the promise Wade made was bullshit and that it wasn’t guaranteed to save his universe.

He said some pretty hurtful things but Y/N got his pain. “Y/N my dear, step out of the car.” He told her while staring at Logan through the mask. She didn’t question it and got out just for a fight to break out moments later. Wade and Logan flew out of the car multiple times and she looked unimpressed each time. She just wanted to be home with Wade but of course this happened. “Alright!” She yelled walking back up to the car. “Stop fighting!” She yelled and they both looked at her.

“I’m so sick of this! We need to come up with a plan instead of violence.” Being the voice of reason wasn’t easy when it came to these two. “You’re right.” Logan said and Wade agreed. Y/N smiled at the two, happy that she got her way. She turned around for a second and a fight broke out again. “WADE!”

Y/N yawned as she got up and realized that they weren’t in the Honda anymore but in a cabin? She looked over to see Logan drinking and Wade was still asleep. “Hey babe, wake up .” She shook him. “Thor!” She looked at him confused, “Were you dreaming about Thor?” She asked with a laugh.

“No. Maybe I- Where are we?” He asked, looking around. “I don’t know but I like it.” Logan smirked, holding up the liquor. Y/N got off the bed to examine the place. Wade followed her until he got knocked down by some woman. Y/N stepped back and saw who it was. Elektra. Her eyes widened and Wade got up. Blade had walked in next and then some random foreign guy. “The Gambit.” His accent was hot. “Who is this fine lady?” He asked walking up to Y/N. Wade had stepped in front of her, “Listen here friendo she is mine, okay?” Y/N chuckled at his jealousy and pushed him aside to shake the guy’s hand. “Y/N and yeah he’s my boyfriend.” Wade smiled under his mask at her words. X23 came out and it was Logan’s daughter which should have been emotional but since Logan doesn’t know her, it’s not? 

“Well we came out alive.” Y/N said and shivered at the memory of Nova’s fingers in her head. The others figured after hearing that, that they should give it a shot besides Logan. “You’re all fucking dead.” He said and though Y/N agreed with him, they couldn’t stay there forever. 

Y/N and Wade sat in the Honda as Logan talked to Laura. “Beautiful isn’t it?” He asked. “What is? The Honda?” Y/N knew that Wade hated this car and the fact that it’s all they have made it kinda funny. “Yeah, I mean it fucks hard.” Y/N looked at him, confused. “Fucks hard?” He nods and turns to her, “Watch this.” He said and got in the backseat.

He spread himself out and patted his lap. She felt herself get wet at that and climbed to the back with him. “Get on my lap kitten. Daddy’s gonna show you why this car fucks hard.” He told her and she did. His hands traveled up her body and to her tits, giving them a squeeze.

He watched her lightly gasp and closed her eyes. His hands moved down to her ass and he slapped it hard. “Fuck.” She groaned but loved it. His hands moved to her front and slipped in her leggings, “No panties you naughty girl.” He says and runs a finger over her clit. He didn’t take off his gloves so the feeling was new but she liked it. “Wade fuck.” She whined as his movements sped up on her pussy. His other hand sneaks in her leggings and circles her hole, “You are soaked, baby girl.” Even through the glove he could tell.

“Wade please.” She begged him and he stuck a finger in her tight pussy. He chuckled at the sound of her wet pussy. She threw her head back as he started to finger fuck her. One finger wasn’t enough so he added another. “Look at you, my pretty girl. All fucked out from just my fingers.” His words made her moan and she bucked her hips. His fingers were at a brutal pace now.

He slipped his hand that was rubbing her clit all the way up to her mouth. Her lips closed around his gloved fingers and sucked all her juices off it while moaning. “That’s a pretty girl.” He says and her hips start fucking his fingers. He was bold enough to add another finger in her causing her to nearly scream. He chuckled and removed his fingers from her mouth before going down to rub her clit again.

His glove was wet with her salvia and she whined at the feeling. It wasn’t too long before her pussy was fluttering on his fingers, “Are you close?” He asked and she nodded. She couldn’t form words besides his name. Her breathing turned to panting and she felt herself right on the edge when Wade stopped. He pulled his hands out of her leggings and she glared at him.

“We are making this car rock baby girl.” He tells her and pulls down his pants. She manages to remove her leggings and gets back on his lap. “Are you removing the mask?” She asked him and he shakes his head, “I’ve always wanted to fuck you in this suit.” He states and pulls her down so that his dick is right at her hole. “Oh fuck I can feel you dripping on me.” She smirks and slowly takes him in. He sucks in a breath and she gasps as he stretches her out.

“You look so beautiful taking my cock.” He says and she fully sits in his lap. His hands go to her hips and he slowly drags her on his cock. “Mmmm Wade.” She moans as he moves her on him. The pace was brutally slow so she started bouncing on him, actually making the car move. “Fuck yeah baby. Ride my cock.” He says and she moans. One of his hands moves up her shirt to one of her nipples.

She gasps at the feeling of him playing with it and throws her head back, “Shit. Wade, that’s gonna make me cum.” She warned and her pussy started fluttering around his dick. “Fuck sweetheart. You doing that’s gonna make me explode.” He breathed out. “Doggy style?” She asked and got off him. They quickly got in the position.

He slides himself back inside of her and she moans. He doesn’t waste time and starts fucking her again. His hands on her hips and hers gripping the car seat. The car was hot and the window’s became foggy. She placed one of her hands on the window as he never stopped ramming into her.

“Wade, I'm close again.” She warned and her breathing got heavier again. “Trust me baby. I can feel it.” He groaned and slapped her ass. She cried his name at that and he chuckled, “Cum for me baby.” He said and her eyes rolled back. A silent scream left her mouth as she felt herself cream his dick. “I’m cumming, fuck.” Wade whined as his hips stilled and his cum mixed with hers. “Mmmm fuck.” She said as he pulled out. She turned around and collapsed on the seat with him. She turns to look at him and smiles, “You’re right. The Honda Odyssey does fuck hard.” 

[hanjisunglover]

perv han headcannons?? -🦷

hello my friendo ≽^•⩊•^≼ copy that warnings: nsfw links! male masturbation, he's kinda a creep, somnophilia, penetration.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐕 - 𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐉𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

hanji that every time he sees you in your pretty skits can't contain himself from running into the bathroom and touching his stupid cock because he can't stop imagining to bend you over and fuck you right there, just lifting your skirt enough to take what he wants.

when you invite hanji over with your group of friends he finds your room just to masturbate there, knowing that you probably do the same thing on that bed, right behind him. and just the thought is enough to make him cum shortly, ready to go back on the little movie time with the rest of the people there, acting all nice and shy around you when just a moment ago he was thinking the dirtiest things ever.

gets all mad when hanji find out that some creep mailed you a package with some boxers dirty of sperm, seeing you cry just makes him wants to protect you from those people, even if the boxers are his.

vacation with you and your group of friends is such satisfy thing for hanji, but sharing room with you? because you were so scared of that scary movie that he begged to watch.. knowing how bad you handle them.. telling you to get comfortable as he takes a shower but just the thought of rubbing his dick against your ass when you sleep makes him want to just ruin your pretty body.

but when hanji is away from you for months because he's doing tours, oh that's the worse for him. he can't feel your presence around the dorms, not being able to steal your panties or your clothes that fits him to have your profume with him. he needs to hide his toys in his suitcase to not get caught by the staff or the other members, moaning your name like a desperate man - face buries in the sheets, hand on the toy and the other to grip on the pillows, curling his toes in pleasure.

but when you let hanji fucks you, he's not gonna keep it quiet, he's loud even by himself. he's not gonna last long, he desired being inside you for a while that feeling you so warm and wet, he just wants to make a big mess. "a-ah.. yes baby, taking so good for me.. oh fuck you're so wet.. so wet and warm.. you're gonna make me cum soon."

[ramblingoak]

Little Thief

Secondo x Female Reader

A little yeehaw!Secondo story for my dearest friendo @kissingghouls. Happy Birthday to my favorite haunted painting! I hope you have the most amazing day because you deserve only amazing things 💙 (special thank you to @tasty-ribz for the perfect Secondo art)

Warnings: gun violence, smut, nsfw 18+ only, mdni, 5,700 words, this does have a connection to The Cardinal's Bride universe but you can enjoy this just fine on its own! (thank you to @gothdaddyissues for the dividers!)

Coming here was a mistake.

You jumped over the bar as the bullets started flying, ducking down and throwing an arm over your head when the liquor bottles began shattering above you.  The Ministry was a big mark, way bigger than you had ever hit before, and you knew, you knew that it was going to be risky.  You just hadn’t expected this to happen.  Although at least the gunfight wasn’t your fault.

This time.

A body crashed down next to you, lifeless and still.  With a grunt you turned it over to search for their gun.  It was still in its holster so you yanked it out, pausing to shove your hand into their back pocket and take their wallet too.  It’s not like they were gonna need either anyway.  You rolled onto your knees, carefully putting your hands at the edge of the bartop to take a peek over.  

“Well, shit.”

Chaos was still reigning over the casino floor but fortunately now it was mostly fist fights.  The Ghouls that worked here had made quick work of most of those that had started shooting.  You could see a small pile of bodies forming already.  The two big Ghouls that were working the door that night easily lugging the men around.  They were distracted enough you glanced towards the door, knowing that you needed to get out of there soon.  Especially before any deputies arrived.  

Lowering yourself back down you started crawling towards the door, keeping behind the bar and trying to avoid the broken glass.  Tonight had been such a damn waste.  You should have just skipped the town altogether.  This is what happened when you got cocky but damn, you had gotten tired of doing small jobs.  Stealing from a big casino, from The Ministry of all places, would have been perfect.  And it would have given you enough money to have a little breathing room before your next job.

Oh well, you had gotten a decent enough amount from cheating at cards.  It was enough to get you a room in the next town over for a few weeks at least.  You reached the end of the bar and started to pull yourself up for one last look.  Unfortunately you weren’t met with a view of the casino floor like you expected.  Instead you ended up face to face with the man that ran The Ministry, a man you had heard enough about to know you should avoid him at all costs.

“Going somewhere?”  Secondo’s tone was bored, his eyes raking over you briefly before he turned his attention to the glass of whiskey in his hand.  “That’s a shame, I was hoping you’d stay a little longer.”

“Oh?  Why is that?”

You knew you should’ve just kept your mouth shut and made a run for the door.  The Ghouls were still occupied enough sorting through who needed to be kicked or carried out that you doubted any of them would try to stop you.  The chance of this man trying to stop you though had you frozen in place.

“I was curious how much more of my money you would steal.”

Fuck.  You glanced towards the door but Secondo was smirking when you looked back so you stayed put.  There was no way you’d make it now.  He might be surrounded by his Ghouls but you’d heard enough stories about Papa Secondo to have a healthy amount of fear of him.  Enough to realize you definitely shouldn’t have come here.  You took a fortifying breath and squared your shoulders while you stared him down.

Time to see if you could talk yourself out of trouble.

“I didn’t steal anything.”

“Come now, I’m not an idiot.”  He took a sip of his drink before continuing,  “And despite you thinking you could get away with stealing from me I don’t think you’re one either.”

“A compliment from Papa?  Sounds like something I should brag about.”  When those odd eyes of his flashed to yours you reached out and grabbed the drink from his hands, knocking back a mouthful before setting it down.  “Kind of like how I’d brag about stealing from you.  You know, if I had done that.”

“Are you sure?  Because I’ve been watching you most of the night.”  His voice had dropped an octave and he’d turned to give you his full attention.  “Ever since my associate Mist told me what you were up to.”

“Mist?”

“She’s at the end of the bar now.  Watching.”  You looked down to see a woman with piercing blue eyes leaning against the bar.  When you turned back to Secondo he had leaned in close and his breath danced across your cheek with his next words.  “She thinks you will do something stupid.”

“The only stupid thing I did tonight was come here.”  He narrowed his eyes at your comment but you continued anyway,  “Your games are terrible and this whiskey is mostly water.”

You weren’t sure what you had been expecting him to do at your insults.  Threaten you maybe.  At worst try to grab you and then who knows what.  Mist certainly seemed the type to do whatever her boss told her to do.  But all Secondo did was laugh, the sound drew the attention of some of the other Ghouls but they got back to cleaning quickly.  

“Ma dài, bellezza?  Sei una terribile bugiarda.”

“What did you call me?”  Secondo’s only answer was to let his eyes wander over you again before taking another drink.  “Answer me.”

“A terrible liar.”  His smirk returned when he saw your face turning red.  “But I suppose I could also call you a terrible thief.”

“A lot of words just to call me a liar.”

“Unfortunately the other ones will cost you.”  

Secondo stepped around the end of the bar to stand beside you.  To have him so close was…intoxicating was the only word you could think of.  Despite the danger he posed you there was no denying that he was an extremely handsome man.  His presence alone commanded attention, respect and a healthy dose of fear if you had wronged him.  But your heart wasn’t racing just because you had a pocketful of money you’d stolen from him.

“I’m afraid I don’t have much to give you.”  You teasingly patted the sides of your jacket, taking a moment to flash it open so he could see the gun holstered at your hip.  “So how about we call it a night before anything else happens.”

“What could happen?”  He reached over to one of the few unbroken bottles along the wall and poured himself another drink.  “Would you continue to cheat at cards?”

“I didn’t fucking cheat.”

“Or perhaps there’s a pair of loaded dice hidden in a pocket somewhere.”  Secondo took a step closer, pinning you against the bar.  “Would you let me look, ladruncola?”

It irritated you how badly you wanted to say ‘yes’ but honestly the longer he looked at you like that the more you wanted him to.  Up close he smelled so good, he looked good too.  His clothes were immaculate, down to the green handkerchief peeking out of his vest pocket.  There wasn’t any harm in enjoying his company for the evening, right?

Especially if it got you out of trouble.

“As long as you search me in your room and not at the bar.”  You found yourself returning his pleased smile but a flash of something reflecting in the glass of the bottle behind him had your chest seizing.  One hand went for your gun while your other grabbed ahold of Secondo’s vest and you shoved him to the side with all your might.  “Get down!”

Secondo cursed as the bottle shattered and you ducked to the side as you turned with your gun raised.  A few tables from the bar one of the men that started the fight was standing with his own gun pointed your way.  Secondo’s way.  He snarled and moved to point it at you but he was too late, you let out two shots that hit him in the chest and had his body jerking backwards.  The nearest Ghoul kicked the gun out of his hand but you knew he wouldn’t be getting up from that.

“Well, well.”  You turned to look down at Secondo, relieved to see him unhurt but also smirking at you.  Even if it was infuriating.  “Grazie, ladruncola.”

“What does that mean?”  Secondo took your offered hand, rising from the floor elegantly.  He nodded towards Mist when she wandered over and she quickly turned away to go to the other Ghouls.  When you tried to pull your hand back he held it tighter, his thumb sweeping across your knuckles.  “I’m waiting.”

“Grazie means ‘thank you’.  And I’ll say it again, ladruncola.”  He brought your hand up to his mouth, pressing a lingering kiss to the back.  The hairs of his mustache tickled your skin softly when he repeated himself.  “Grazie.”

“You’re welcome,”  Your knuckles received kisses next followed by him turning your hand over to kiss your palm.  “But I meant the other word.”

“I’d rather tell you after I get you in my room.”  

You sighed, knowing you probably should just leave.  After saving him he probably would let you without a fuss too.  There was just something about him that had you taking a step closer to straighten the handkerchief in his vest.  You rested your hand on his chest and moved it up towards his shoulder while you leaned in close.

“As long as you promise to make it worth my while.”  He was grinning when you pulled away, his mismatched eyes twinkling in a way you didn’t think you’d be able to forget.  “Papa.”

“That’s a challenge I’m happy to accept.”

“How many weapons do you have?”

Secondo’s voice was equally incredulous and impressed.  You gave him a smirk of your own as you placed a hand on his chest and pushed him back towards his bed.  He went willingly, his eyes dropping down to your hands as you made quick work of pulling the two knives he hadn’t found out of their hiding places.

“I like to be prepared.”  When he sat back on the bed you followed, placing a knee on either side of his legs and resting your hands on his shoulders.  “Surely you can appreciate that, hmm?”

“I can.”  He took your mouth in a dizzying kiss, stealing your breath while his hands began to work on the buttons of your pants.  You broke away with a gasp when he slid one hand inside, right in between your legs where you were already hot and wet.  He wrapped his other arm around your waist to pull you closer, trailing kisses from the corner of your mouth all the way to your ear.  “I’ll appreciate all of you tonight.”

“I think I can promise the same.”  You trailed your hands down to the buttons of his vest, going for his shirt buttons when you were done.  His chest was covered with dark hair, patches of silver mixed in.  He nearly purred like a cat when you ran your fingers through it.  While you explored his chest his own hands began to wander but you were too distracted to stop him from slipping his fingers into the hidden pocket in your shirt.  “Wait!”

He pulled away, your loaded dice held triumphantly in his hand.  You had a sudden jolt of fear that perhaps this was all a game to him and he only brought you up here to expose why you were even at The Ministry.  Neither of you were moving, your eyes stuck on his face while he began to roll the dice between his thumb and forefinger.

“These are certainly interesting, aren’t they?”  He made a loose fist and shook them, his eyes moving to your face while they rattled around.  There wasn’t any anger there, if anything he seemed amused but you still couldn’t bring yourself to move.  With a quick movement he flicked the dice on the floor, not looking away as they landed.  “Tell me what numbers came up.”

You looked down, your legs starting to shake from where they still straddled him and your heart racing.  He placed both his hands on your waist while you leaned over as far as you dared, trying to make a show of looking even though you knew what numbers would be facing up.  He did too, the bastard.

“Lucky you, a pair of sixes.”

He smirked, tugging you towards him again abruptly.  You fell against his chest with a grunt, your mouth hovering right over his.  He flashed you a smile before responding, his words making your heart race for an entirely different reason.

“Lucky me indeed.”  His eyes were locked on yours for a few heartbeats before he glanced down at your lips.  “If you would like to leave I wouldn’t stop you.”  He moved so his lips were hovering over your ear.  “But I keep the money and the dice.”

“I don’t know, I feel like I won that money fair and square.”  His chest rumbled with laughter, his hands tightening around your waist.  “And I don’t want to leave.”

“Bene.  Because I have been wanting to kiss you ever since you insulted my whiskey.”

A retort was on the tip of your tongue, it did taste like it was watered down, but talking was impossible when he kissed you.  It was as demanding as the man itself.  You wrapped your arms tighter around his neck while one of his hands gripped your head, tilting it just so to make the angle perfect.  He tasted like whiskey and smoke, the combination intoxicating.

The need to feel more of him became too much, your hands pushing and pulling at his shirt and vest to get it off.  With a quick movement he spun you so you were on your back on his bed, staring up at him while he took them off himself.  Your eyes moved over his chest appreciatively, enjoying how the muscles of his arms moved under his skin.  It was obvious he had done more than run a casino in his life.  Those muscles were evidence of years working with guns and horses.

“See something you like?”

“Take the pants off and I’ll let you know.”  His sudden laughter had you smiling and you lifted a foot up to rest on his thigh.  “Unless you want my help?”

“I wouldn’t dream of denying you the opportunity.” 

In a flash you were kneeling before him on the bed, your fingers eagerly working on the fastenings of his pants.  His gun belt was already on the floor next to yours and your small pile of knives.  It had surprised you he didn’t want a weapon close but you also had the sneaking suspicion he wouldn’t need any sort of weapon to take care of you if necessary.  The thought should scare you, being here in his room should scare you, but all you could think of was how he was making your blood race through your veins.

And how the sight of his cock was making your mouth water.

Thick and long, it jutted out from the patch of hair between his legs proudly.  There was already a drop of liquid at the tip and you leaned in to lick it off, grinning when it twitched.  You locked eyes with him as you wrapped your lips around the tip, applying pressure along the bottom with your tongue.  You began to move further down but he rested his hands on the side of your head, stopping your momentum.

“Ah ah, I have a different plan.”  You pulled back, licking your lips and watching him as he smiled down at you.  “Would you let me taste you, ladruncola?”

“If you insist.”

The visual of Secondo dropping to his knees in front of you wasn’t one you would forget any time soon.  His fingers were steady as they undid your clothes, far steadier than yours were right now.  All you had the strength to do was watch, watch as he exposed more and more of you to his strange eyes.  It felt a little unfair for him to still be wearing his pants as he pulled off yours but as he looked at your core you couldn’t find the words to say anything about it.

“Bellissima.”  You had no idea what it meant but the word, the worshipful way he said it made your cheeks heat up.  He laid his hands on the inside of your thighs and gently push them wider.  As his face got closer to where you were wet for him you could see his nose twitch as he took deep breaths and you were not going to survive this.  Secondo closed his eyes and you saw his lips moving briefly before he caught your gaze.  “Nema.”

His mouth covered you in the next moment, his hands moving behind you to grip your ass and hold you still.  It was a good thing he did because while he licked and sucked at your flesh you were twitching and shaking.  The sensations were overwhelming and you couldn’t decide whether you wanted to be closer or get away from it.  His nose pressed insistently against your clit while he worked his tongue around your opening, flicking and swiping it over and over.  When he suddenly pushed it inside you couldn’t help but cry out, your hand letting go of the blanket in its grip and instead gripping his hair.

“Secondo, f-fu–ah!”

The man growled against you, gripping you tighter while he ate you out.  Words kept bubbling in your throat but they just turned into whimpers.  You weren’t even sure what you were trying to say, perhaps your own words of worship to the man himself.  The rumors you had always heard about the man and his family briefly flashed in your mind.  Images of the devil and upside down crosses but they were banished as soon as he slid two thick fingers into you and moved his mouth to your clit.

If this was how they worshipped the devil you’d sign up in a second.

Your peak was coming fast, wave after wave of pleasure making spots appear in your vision.  Secondo didn’t let up, he just fucked you faster with his fingers.  Two soon becoming three all while he sucked on your clit.  Your nails kept digging harder and harder into his scalp but it didn’t seem to phase him.  If anything it only spurred him on and when he curled his fingers to rub against your inner walls you felt yourself fall over a cliff, your orgasm rushing to meet you at the bottom.

“Are you awake?”  You had no idea how long you had been laying there panting but his deep voice finally dragged you back from where you’d been drifting.  You blinked up at him, grinning when you saw how out of sorts his mustache was.  “Something amuse you?”

“I should steal from casinos more often.”  Making this man laugh was like a drug and you did your best to commit the sight and sound to memory.  It wasn’t just his mustache that was a mess, his hair was tussled and twisted from your fingers too.  You couldn’t stop yourself from reaching up and smoothing it out, smiling softly when his eyes closed and he pressed into your hands.  “You’re like a cat.”

“Un gatto?”  He raised an eyebrow when you grinned.  “I’ve had worse nicknames.”

“Oh?  Like Papa?”

“Papa was a title, my title.  Long ago.”  You continued to rub along his scalp, waiting to see if he said anything else.  “I went by a different one before that, before I was called back to my family.”

“What were you doing then?”

Secondo flashed you a small smile as began to pat your legs, nodding his head towards the headboard.  You obediently scooted back, not being able to stop your eyes from falling to his cock.  It had softened a bit but still looked eager for attention.  He followed you further onto the bed, rubbing his hands up your legs until they were encouraging your thighs apart once more.

“About the same thing you’re doing now.”  When you raised an eyebrow and gave him a once over he chuckled.  “The same thing you were doing earlier.  Stealing.”

“I wasn–”

“But I was much, much better at it, ladruncola.”

“Either fuck me or shut up.”

He smirked as he looked down at you, one hand going to his cock and beginning to stroke it.  You wiggled a bit under the attention, the tension building in you again just by watching him pleasure himself.  Well, two could play at that game.  With a smirk of your own you began to touch yourself, sliding your fingers down your wet flesh and easily pressing two inside. 

His eyes quickly locked onto your fingers, watching intensely as you moved them in and out.  You added a third finger but it wasn’t even close to how it felt with his in you.  With a frustrated growl you said his name and he immediately looked back up to your face.  There was an unreadable look there, one you hadn’t seen yet that night.  For a moment you were worried he was going to move away and tell you to leave but instead he finally moved closer.  He grabbed your hand and tugged it away so he could line his cock up.

“Bone Daddy.”  Your eyes flashed up to his to see him grinning.  “That’s what they called me.”

You repeated the name, trying it out on your tongue.  While he teased your opening with the head of his cock you thought back to those rumors you had heard of the Emeritus family.  An image of Secondo with a painted face resembling a skull flashed in your mind and your gasp had little to do with how his cock was beginning to stretch you.  He could be terrifying now you could barely comprehend how terrifying he would have been looking like that.

Terrifying and beautiful.

When he was all the way inside of you the name tumbled from your lips again.  You took a moment to trace your finger along his face, trying to imagine what the design of the paint looked like.  He let you go on for a few seconds before taking your hand in his and pressing it down next to your head.  If he hadn’t of been looking at you like he was, like you were something he cared about, you would have been concerned you overstepped.  Instead he lowered his head to kiss you, nipping at your lips until you opened up for his tongue.

You kissed him back, trying to match his intensity but you were getting desperate for him to move elsewhere.  He groaned into your mouth when you wrapped your legs around his waist and wiggled your hips.  After what felt like an eternity he finally pulled back, his lips as swollen as yours were.  You felt like you were going to lose your mind if he didn’t move, if he didn’t start fucking you right now.

“Secondo, please.”

“Ah, ladruncola.  You don’t need to beg.  I’ll take care of you.”  You bit your lip as he began to pull out, the drag of his thick length so good along your walls.  He paused with the head at your entrance and you were so close to screaming at him, especially when he looked down at you smugly.  “We’ll save the begging for later, eh?”

“Whatever you say Bone Daddy.”

You expected a response, another comment to continue your banter but instead he began to press back inside of you.  It was a slow and steady thrust, not giving you a moment to adjust as he pushed in all the way.  Your hands were scrabbling at the sheets by your head and your body trembled.  When your groins touched he didn’t pause, he just started to pull out immediately.

Secondo quickly had a rhythm going, a steady drive in and out of you with his cock.  All you could do was hang on, your legs still wrapped around him.  The bed creaked beneath you both, the headboard hitting the wall when he began to thrust harder.  He dropped down so he could kiss you, mimicking the movements of his cock with his tongue.  You bit and sucked at it, one of your hands letting go of the sheet to find its way back into his hair.

Both of you were moaning, gasping as the pleasure began to build.  You had to pull away from his mouth to suck in air and you buried your face in his neck while you did so.  He kissed along your scalp while one of his big hands cradled the back of your head.  It all suddenly felt so intimate, so much more than what it had started out as that you couldn’t help but imagine more of this.  More than a night and more than a frenzied coupling.

“Look at me, ladruncola.”  His fingers tightened just enough to get you to pull away, your head falling back onto the pillow.  His thrusts were more sure now, purposeful.  He slipped a hand down your body to touch you between your legs, his fingers finding your clit and rubbing it just right.  “I want to watch you.  I want to see your face.”

Fuck, it was too much but you couldn’t deny him.  You clung to him and panted as you hit your peak once again, your walls spasming around him.  He was the first to break eye contact, groaning and muttering in Italian when his cock began to kick and empty inside of you.  For a moment you imagined that you could feel it, feel his seed fill you up.  Your hips moved on their own accord then, rotating slightly to help him as he came down until he finally stopped and collapsed on top of you.

You weren’t sure if it had been minutes or hours but his weight was a comforting thing and you didn’t have any desire to move.  His softened cock had fallen out of you and while the feeling of his seed leaving was uncomfortable you hoped that he would take you again before the morning arrived.  You had no desire to leave this room.  The only thing you wanted was Secondo and you’d take as much of him as he was willing to give you.

With a grunt he finally pulled away, rolling onto his back next to you.  The cool night air drifted in through an open window across the room and distantly you could hear the tinkling keys of a piano.  You risked a glance over at him, letting your eyes linger when you saw his were closed.  The skull paint appeared in your mind again and you resolved to ask him later what it looked like.

“Would you like some watered down whiskey?”  

You snorted, nodding when he cracked open an eye to look at you.  He got up with a grunt and made his way over to a small bar against the wall.  When he headed back with two glasses in his hand you sat up and leaned back against the headboard.  The whiskey burned your tongue but it was good, much better than what you had at his bar. 

“So you save the good stuff for yourself.”

“And you.”  He tilted his head back and drained the rest of his glass, looking pleased when you did the same.  With the ease of a cat he got up and refilled them, grabbing something else before he made his way back over.  “I was hoping you would indulge me.”

“Haven’t I already been doing that?”

“Indeed, but I was hoping I could interest you in a game of poker.”  He placed his glass on a small table by the bed and you then noticed the item in his hand was a deck of cards.  They came to life in his hands as he began to shuffle them, doing moves and tricks that were impossible for your eyes to keep up with.  “Perhaps you’d like to make it interesting.”

“I’m listening.”

Secondo began to deal the cards out and you leaned over to set your glass next to his so you could gather yours up.  

“I would like an opportunity to win my money back.”  Your eyes flashed up to his in alarm but his expression hadn’t changed.  He had the same amused and almost fond look that he’d had since he had brought you into his room.  You looked back down at your cards and started to shuffle them slowly.  “But of course if I lose you stand to earn even more.  Except fairly this time.”

“I can play fair but you’re going to regret it.”

“Oh I don’t think so.  Either way I’ll still have you in my bed.  Won’t I, ladruncola?”

“You haven’t told me what that means yet.  Don’t think I’ve forgotten.”

“Another thing you can win then.  I will translate that and more if you beat me.”

“Prepare to lose, Papa.”

Secondo laughed before taking a drink and then leaning in to kiss you.  The whiskey was fresh on his tongue and you sucked at it to get a better taste.  While the kiss deepened you thought about everything that had led you to this man’s bed.  About getting caught up in a gun fight and then getting caught by Secondo himself.

You thought about seeing that man raise his gun and how you hadn’t even blinked before shoving Secondo out of the way.  You thought of his presence and his words, how he had gotten you into his room even though he didn’t have to try very hard.  It was easy to imagine this man holding the attention of a congregation if those rumors were true.  You’d certainly follow him to more than just his bedroom.

When he pulled away you couldn’t help but pout and he nipped at your bottom lip before leaning back again.  He picked up his cards but his gaze was steady on you, those green and white eyes unwavering.  You began to fidget, shuffling your cards in slightly unsteady hands before you couldn’t take it any more.

“What?”

“I don’t think I’ll be losing at all tonight.”  

“What do you mean?”

He reached out for your hand, bringing it to his mouth, cards and all.  Gentle kisses were pressed over your knuckles before he let go.

“Either way I’m winning you, aren’t I?”

You had to bite your lips to stop yourself from saying something stupid.  Something stupid and sappy that you had no right to say.  But Secondo continued to watch you and his face was content, like he didn’t have a care in the world and just wanted to enjoy his time with you.  It was a feeling you shared so you stopped trying to hide it and let it show on your face.

“Me too.”

“Bene.  Well then, I’ll let you go first.”

As the game began and went on you couldn’t remember the last time you had this much fun.  Obviously the sex had been amazing and you hoped there would be more of it soon but spending time with Secondo like this felt amazing too.  You were able to draw some more stories out of him and in exchange you told him a few of yours.  Both of you showed off some scars and the actions that led to them.  

You got a description of what Bone Daddy looked like, skull paint and all.  He told you about the church he and his Ghouls belonged to.  Used to belong to.  There was definitely more of a story there but you weren’t going to press it.  As a thank you for him sharing something you could tell still pained him you shared a story that still pained you.  At that point the card game was forgotten, the cards falling to the floor when you both met in a heated kiss.

Later, as you both caught your breath, your skin sticky with sweat and other things, you felt something press against your back.  With a grunt you raised yourself on an elbow and reached a hand into the sheets to find the culprit.  You came back with a handful of cards and as you leaned over Secondo to toss them with the others on the floor you noticed something that had you freeze.

There were two ace of spades.

Secondo was laughing when you turned to glare at him, easily bringing a hand up to block the cards when you threw them his way.  You wanted to make a bigger deal of it but the problem was you recognized them as your own cards.  The bastard had grabbed your deck although when he slipped it out of your coat you had no idea.  He wrapped an arm around your waist and began to tug you close, chuckling when you let him with minimal protest.

“That’s quite the deck you have.”

“Shut up.”

“It’s too bad we didn’t finish the game I think I had the hand to beat.”

“Shut.  Up.”

“Ah, ladruncola.  Don’t be upset with me.”

“Tell me what ‘ladruncola’ means.”  When he didn’t speak you turned in his arms to stare him down.  “Tell me.”

“Little thief.”  He was kissing you again before you were able to curse at him.  It was really unfair how his kisses made you lose track of yourself.  It ended far too soon but he stayed close, tilting his head down so your foreheads rested together.  “But you’re my little thief, aren’t you?”

You kissed him again in answer, opening your mouth over his while you moved to straddle his lap.  There were certainly worse things he could call you.  And there were certainly worse things that could be happening right now.  This was infinitely better than spending the night in jail and if you were honest with yourself this was one of the best nights of your life.

You’d be his ladruncola as long as he would have you.

If you'd like to be added/removed from the tag list (or if I accidentally left your name off) of this fic or any of my others please leave a comment or send me a dm! Thank you 💙

My Masterlist ~ My Archive of our Own ~ My Ko-Fi Tip Jar

[societalenemynumberone]

The Deadpool and Wolverine movie came out. I beg of you to do more quotes on Deadpool Reader. Ill sell you my soul.

For the price of Anon's soul, I give you Deadpool Reader: Deadpool & Wolverine edition

. . .

Alastor: Mind putting your mask back on?

Reader: Super hard to eat while I'm wearing it.

Alastor: It's super hard to eat when you're not

. . .

Vaggie: [Waking up with a second eye patch] I wish fire would find your body and finish the job Sera was too afraid to do

Reader: If you could hear the look on my face, you'd smell how sad I am

. . .

[Lucifer changes into his demon form]

Reader: Holy shit. You save the good stuff for special occasions?

Lucifer: Killing, mostly.

. . .

Angel Dust: Wanna do some cocaine?

Reader: Hey! Cocaine is the one thing that Charlie said is off limits.

Angel Dust: What about Bolivian marching powder?

Reader: She knows all the slang terms. She made a list.

Angel Dust: Even snowboarding?

Reader: Even disco dust.

Angel Dust: White Girl, Interrupted?

Reader: Even Forrest Bump.

Angel Dust: Do you want to build a snowman?

Reader: Yes! But I can't!

. . .

Reader: [Mimicking Angel's New York (?) Accent] Good 'ay toots. There's nothing that'll bring me back to life faster than a big bag of cocaine.

. . .

Reader: [Alastor threatens Reader with his radio cane for the first time] Is that supposed to be scary? Pegging isn't new for me, friendo. But it is for A24.

. . .

Reader: Ohhh, I love the smell of sunflowers!

[sniffs a dead rose Niffty gave them]

. . .

Reader: [In that one scene where Angel was showing them one of his pornos] I'm soaking wet right now

. . .

Reader: [Preparing for war against the exorcists] This is what I'm talking about: big slow-motion action sequence, who knows if you live or die? Let's fuckin' go!

Angel Dust: Let's fuck and go!

. . .

Reader: [sees the Adam's army for the first time, the army they basically trained] OH MY FUCK!

. . .

Niffty: [After Reader used her as a human shield to get through active gang territory] I think I'm hit.

Husk: No shit.

[to Reader]

Husk: You did that on purpose.

Reader: I did no such thing!

[to Niffty]

Reader: Listen to me, gorgeous. How long does it take for you to regenerate?

Niffty: [slow blink] Regenerate?

. . .

Vaggie: One more word. Please. Give me one.

Reader: Gubernatorial

[Reader immediately gets punched]

Reader: Worth it

. . .

Reader: [Getting stabbed by Vaggie's spear for the first time] You nicked it. Just got the tip with your little steak knife!

. . .

[Reader's way of getting people to come to the hotel]

Random demon: You don't want any of this.

[Reader pulls out a pistol and points it at the demon's forehead]

Reader: Unless you want to take a deep breath through your fucking forehead, I suggest you reconsider

. . .

Reader: [Staring at Lucifer as he talks] You really are God's Perfect Idiot, aren't you?

. . .

Reader: Want to talk about what's haunting you, or should we wait for a third season for you to open up to me?

Husk: Ah, go fuck yourself!

. . .

Reader: [Receptionist of the hotel, talking to any newcomer] Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel. You're joining at a bit of a low point.

. . .

Reader: Don't just stand there, you ape. Give me a hand up.

[Vaggie draws her spear]

Reader: Nope, I'm actually okay, thank you very much!

. . .

Random demon: That's Charlie Morningstar.

Reader: You damn straight it is. Amazon bought her. They're gonna make her do this till she's dying.

. . .

Reader: [Walking out in a new outfit Lucifer got them] Yes, your underwear's getting tighter

. . .

[Reader falls on Husk]

Reader: What'cha thinking about?

Husk: Get the fuck off me.

Reader: Shh! Shh! Almost done...

Husk: Almost done what!?

Reader: Getting my knife out of your buttocks, you pervert! Get your mind out of my pants!

. . .

Bonus quote from the first movie:

Husk: Reader, patron saint of the pitiful. What can I do for you?

Reader: I'd love to get a Blow Job

Husk: Oh, God, me too.

Reader: The drink, moose knuckle, But first...

Husk: All right, Kahlua, Bailey's and whipped cream. I give you a Blow Job. Why do you make me make that?

Reader: *Stops Niffty passing by and places the drink on her tray* Be a dear and send this over to Bright Red And Creepy over there and tell him "Angel, baby" sends his love.

*Reader and Husk proceed to drink whiskey watch as Alastor tries to kill Angel dust while he hides behind Charlie for protection*

[seat-safety-switch]

With the advent of electric cars, there's something very critical happening to North American infrastructure. No, it's not renewable energy. It certainly isn't a more stable electrical grid. And there's no way on God's green earth that electricity is gonna get cheaper. The important thing: level 2 chargers are now freely available in many urban centres.

Let me explain. You can plug an electric car into your regular-ass wall outlet. It takes a really long time to charge, and the cord gets kind of warm. In the terminology of the electric car mafia, that's "Level 1." Like in Mario, it's the level that sucks, but that teaches you how to get good by forcing you to be devoured by mushroom people or fall down a bottomless pit enough times. "Level 2" is where the interesting shit starts to happen.

Europeans have been blessed with 240 volts AC coming out of their wall since the dawn of time. That's twice as many volts as we've got, for many varied reasons that I don't actually care to look up right now. You can think of these volts as a sort of fire hose, pushin' electrons into your shitty homemade electric car. With more volts, you can push more electrons in less time. The Level 2 chargers are connected to 240 volts.

Other things are connected to 240 volts, friendos: welders. That's how I ended up in the Princess Auto parking lot, frantically trying to weld together my frame, while pretending that my 1977 Volare that I rolled into said lot is actually an electric conversion. Folks came and asked questions, sure, like "why is that car charger sparking so much" and "what's that odour?" None of them were familiar with Level 2 charging, though, not like you now are. They took my explanation at face value ("wireless charging," I explained, "the next big thing") and decided it would be risky for them to call the cops considering I now knew what their faces looked like.

Joke's on them, though. The old newspaper I was using as a face shield absolutely did not keep me from repeatedly blinding myself. Maybe one day, the electric car mafia will create a device that dispenses free sunglasses in every parking lot.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hello hello friendo! I was wondering if I could request a Wally x wolf puppet reader? the scenario being that the other neighbors are afraid of R (reader) no matter what due to them looking like a big 'bad' wolf, R's appearance is quite frightful; stitches in a few places along with big teeth and claws plus they are on the large size (roughly Barnaby's size, if not a bit shorter). While on the outside they look all mean they are actually really sweet and just want to make friends.

"Do you think I'm doing something wrong, Wally? 'cuz I feel...unwanted here."

"No, no. You've done nothing wrong, Neighbor! What made you think of such silly things?"

"...well everyone's still acting like I'm gonna eat them for breakfast."

"Breakfast?? Why, that's nonsense. Breakfast is composed of bacon, eggs, juice, and toast..not people!"

"Uh, that was just a....nevermind." Sighing, you shook your head as you gave up trying to explain the idiom to Wally. But having this conversation with him over the phone did manage to cheer you up a little.

How you wished it was this easy talking to the rest of the neighbors, though they were all absolutely terrified of you and would've hung up the second they heard your voice.

Fortunately, Wally had recently learned a valuable lesson from Barnaby, who told him that he should never "judge a book by its cover". And he lived by that philosophy every time a newcomer came to town, whether they stayed or left.

You were no exception despite being a rather frightening-looking wolf with large sharp teeth, untrimmed claws, and stitches all over your body that made you look like a zombie. Of course, your clothes covered most of them, yet they didn't fully hide all of the things your neighbors were afraid of.

Of course, it didn't help that you're the child of The Big Bad Wolf...but you're nothing like him! You're not deceptive or evil in any way; all you wanted to do was make new friends.

But that was tough to prove when someone screamed if you so much as smiled at them.

Poppy was understandable, given she was a bird who already had some anxiety issues to begin with. And Barnaby was alright since you're both tall canines (and even then, he was still the taller one). He tolerated your presence and can stand being in the same room as you.

As for Julie, Eddie, Frank, Sally, and Howdy....you unintentionally scared them out of their wits.

For instance, you visited Howdy's bugdega for the first time to get groceries, and he ducked behind the register as you approached. The poor guy sounded like he was in tears as he stuttered that everything was free of charge.

Back then you thought he was having a bad day..but even outside of work, he seldom talked to you out of fear.

How naïve were you..

At least you had Wally, though, considering he's able to have normal chats with you both on the phone and in person. He still kept his joyful tone when speaking to you, and when you left he'd turn around to scold the others for "overreacting".

Honestly, he was growing tired of them treating you this way and not taking his advice. No neighbor deserved to feel so unwelcomed.

You weren't scary at all! He'll prove it!

And now he finally got an idea that he believed would work.

"Say, [y/n]..whatdya think about coming with me to the park?" He suggested. "I'm organizing a little painting lesson, and at the end we're all gonna paint something we like! If everyone's there and sees us getting along, they'll finally see how nice you really are!"

"You think so?" Your ears perked up, a small smile forming on your face as your tail began lightly wagging, thumping against the furniture.

While you haven't done any art since settling into the community, this hangout seemed to be a good place to sharpen your skills and, hopefully, make some friends. If they saw you indulging in a passion, you'll be able to connect with them more.

"Yup! I think it'll work! So are you in or out?"

"I'm in."

"Great! See you in an hour!"

Your smile dropped. "Wait, it's toda-?"

However, you didn't get the chance to finish as you heard the 'click' on the other end, realizing he hung up. You sighed and hung up your phone, too.

The thought of seeing everybody at the park so soon had you feeling anxious all over again, but you tried shaking off your worries, not wanting them to deter you from going. You couldn't disappoint Wally after how hopeful he sounded.

So instead you focused on making lunch for yourself before packing some art supplies together, finding a canvas or sketchbook to bring with you.

And about an hour later, you were fully prepared.

'It'll be fine..Wally's gonna be there..' You told yourself, taking a few deeps breaths, heading out the door with your head held high.

Surely, the neighbors will finally change their mind about you once they see that you shared a similar hobby as them..

Right?

.......

It turns out you were wrong.

As Wally hosted his painting lesson in the park, going over how to paint different figures and scenes step-by-step...most of the gang could barely focus on what he was saying.

Instead, their eyes were anxiously fixated on you as you tried ignoring them and listened to his words. Whenever you made direct eye contact with any of them, they'd quickly look away and shudder, their hands shaking as they pretended to paint or draw.

They kept their canvases close to their chest, as though you were gonna pounce and tear it to shreds if they let their guard down.

Obviously, Wally took notice of this fast and would ask them questions about what he just said, his smile slowly turning into a frown as some stuttered out answers..while others just didn't catch it the first time around.

You only expected this, although you did manage to impress everybody with your scenery of a moonlit sky after accomplishing the final task of painting something you liked.

But it wasn't enough for Wally. They only complimented you because they were scared you'll get angry if they said the wrong thing...he could just tell by their shifty gazes.

They're just pretending.

After everybody eventually left for home, as the sun was going down, you stayed in the park with Wally. He was still sitting motionless on the same flat rock, having already put his supplies away.

You frowned as you approached him, not knowing what's gotten into him lately

Of course this hangout wasn't going to immediately make you everybody's best friend, but you didn't think he'd be this upset.

If anything it should have been you who was upset, though you believed things went quite well considering nobody ran away from you this time around.

Unfortunately, Wally begged to differ, given how he hasn't spoken a word to you since everyone else left.

"Wally?" Crouching down in front of him, you tilted your head. "What's wrong?"

"...I don't get it."

"..look, it's okay-" You went to place a comforting hand on his shoulder, only for him to suddenly look up at you with frustration in his wide eyes. Even his pupils seemed to tremble as he spoke.

"No, it's not okay. I-I..I know they can't help it but..I thought they trusted me, Neighbor. I planned all of this so they could stop being scared of you! And yet...they..." He trailed off, fingers trembling as they curled into his pants. "They're never gonna change...are they?"

"They can. They just need some more time." You tried to reason, yet he shook his head.

"But how much longer will it be until y--?" He started, but quickly stopped upon seeing the flashes of concern in your eyes, shrinking away.

"...until I what, Wally?"

"........"

"Are you...scared that I might leave one day?" You finally connected the dots. "Is that why you're so upset over all of this?"

Given his silence as he looked back down at the ground, that basically confirmed your answer.

Now it all made sense.

"Oh, buddy.." You hugged him close, feeling him flop against you as he rested his head on your fluffy chest. "You don't have to worry about that. It's gonna take a lot more than just a few skittish people to kick me out."

"But..you're so nice...and I don't know why they can't see that.." He mumbled, slowly hugging you back. "I swear I've tried everything-"

"You don't have to do anything more, Wally. I appreciate what you've done, but..you don't need to be stressed for my sake. I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'll even pinky promise it for ya."

After a long silence you felt him nod, and you smiled, relieved that he trusted you.

Soon you let each other go and made that pinky promise, sealing the deal. You could see that lifted a huge burden off his shoulders--one you didn't even realize he was trying to carry this whole time--as his own smile returned.

"C'mon. It's getting late. I'll walk ya back home." You suggesting, slinging your bag over your shoulder.

"Haha..that's usually my job, Neighbor." The blue-haired puppet chuckled as he fixed up his messy pompadour. "But thank you. I'll take up your kind offer!"

[potterheadedme]

(the rest of) a bit of writing for Garbagechocolate's Truth virus AU

“Um…Friendo, I don’t, I don’t know how I feel about this” sun says from with the pizzaplex parts and service animatronic repair station™️. Having relized shortly after the repair station patented paralysis kicked in, that they may not be as on board with this idea as they thought they were

From with in there shared operating system, moon let’s out what might have been a deep exhausted sigh if either of the had lungs,

“Gasp! What? final come to your senses about randomly downloading software because ‘it’ll be cool’” moon mocks

“In my defense starlight seemed so excited, what was I suppose to say moony” sun says back from with in the OS

“.. the truth”

That’s when they both hear their repair specialist Y/N call back “Did you two says something” from From somewhere beyond their current scope of vision they can hear here it sounds pretty muffled, after a bit they seem to poke their head back into view.

“Nothing starlight!” Sun hurries out with a grin

At this moon huffs

“Oh, um.. ah, actually…moon? Has um a few concerns, about this download” sun stutters out

“ oh don’t you two fret, Minecraft is a completely passive program, and this version should be a hundred percent compatible with your operating systems” y/n finishes with a thumbs up

“Oh”

“Yeah, so are you two ready?”

Sunny can feel moon doing the equivalent of slowing shaking his head from further back in the code

“Ready when you are, starlight!”

At that y/n starts the download, from here they can hear the faint loading chimes the main Control panel emits,

"...Alright....there we are,... downloads started, shouldn't take all night ,but it may take a bit" y/n says as they turn their gaze from the screen in front of them to the currently immobil daycare attendent, sat within the repair station, in the depth of parts and service.

"how are you two holding up?" y/n asks after a bit, breaking the relative silence, of the subterranean room

“Just peachy starlight!” sun said without thinking, and while it wasn’t a total lie, it wasn’t exactly true either, over the years the daycare attendant has had countless updates to their software and operating systems and while the uploading process is slightly different each time, they know what to expect by now, they know enough to know that something feels off about this.

“Sun. No, you feel it to” moon says, his voice coming through over the rising buzz of an ever growing number of binary strings as the files enter their operating system and make their selves at home, burrowing in and warping the applications around it to its managed tasks.

“Moony, I’am sure it’s fine, starlights checked everything over, they say it’s compatible, sure the download feels a little funky, but am sure its nothing”

“This doesn’t feel like nothing, Sun”

“How would you know we only ever get new security and health protocols these days” punctuated with a mental pout “ this is a game moony!! We’ve never got a game before, of course it’s going to feel different!”

“Listen, theres reasons we’ve never directly downloaded games before, do you ever know if you can run the game after getting it? ‘Compatible’ doesn’t mean usable” moon snaps back

“Well if you gonna be a spoil sport, we can uninstall if it doesn’t work, happy”

At this moon mumble something Sun can quite hear over the new application own internal humming.

Upon realizing this conversation with his darker half has come to a momentary halt, Sun turns his attention back to their code, by now he’s having l a bit of trouble ignoring the itchy squirming feeling these files leave him with.

Sun goes to voice this concerns with there trusted technician… only to find that he can’t

moon let’s out a sound of exasperation, that can nearly be heard over the rumbling and buzzing of the code “tell y/n to pause this”

“…moony…I can’t, the controls are stuck”

“Let me see” moon says as he wrench control from sun, to see the interior controls are currently unavailable.

“What’d you do Sun?”

“ME! I didn’t do anything”

“The OS dosent just freeze like this on its own, and one download shouldn’t be enough to shut us down, what else is running” moons is growing noticeably more frustrated

While they continue to attempt troubleshootin, moon turns his attention outwards, now noticing that y/n may have been talking to them this entire time pacing back and forth for who knows how long.

“-portant you guys let me know, alright?” Y/n finished as they come to a stop in front of the glass cylinder, looking towards the still anamatronic expectantly.

“…right? …guys?” Y/n finish before concern starts to creep in

~~~~~

The daycare attendants have been uncharacteristically quiet, it has been a solid 15 minutes since they have lasted talked, I didn’t think much of it until there LEDs began to switch through a few settings before dimming completely.

At this point I am significantly more that a little worried, I fear, no I am certain that the altered version of Minecraft, that I suggest is causing this. I can’t just stop the download that is the first and most important thing they tell any engineer or technician that works here, that stopping mid upload or download or backup will cause irreparable damage to any and all of the bot under the faz co brand.

This is when it occurs to me that the most helpful I can do right now is, nothing, I’ve done enough damage already and any action I take now may just drawl this out or make it worse,

So instead of bolting to the console and running through every debugging program I can think of I sit, in the cheat plastic of the rolling chair sat by the console, and watch keeping vigil over the subterranean room and it’s robotic occupants.

~~~~~

“Oh. Hello” a metallic voice say, breaking the silence that’s settled over the room,

I jump a little, sorry to say I may have been zoning out as the hours of nothing stretched on, then spin around to see how bad I’ve goofed things up.

“Hey, your back” I say as I try and guess, who I might be talking to, usually it pretty clear which ai is fronting, if not by there appearance than there ‘voice’

This doesn’t seem to be the case right now, whoever just spoke is currently lacking Sun usually expressive lilt and Moons more taunting almost breathy inflection.

It seem like I might be I am be hearing there shared ‘base’ voice, this may mean they are still sorting themselves out, so while they finish ‘loading’ for lack of a better term, I turn my attention back towards to console to seem is I can gleam anything from the download stats.

After a bit of searching I think I come across the problem, while the application in question was compatible with the main operating system, it wasn’t nearly as compatible with the central processors of the attendances AI, and it seemed to have spawned new files in response. I can’t see see what they do from here, but this can wait,

In the computer screens reflection I can just barely see moon, sit up in the center of the repair station glowing red eyes fixed on me, I take a few deep breaths before turning to face the music.

“Moon” I say in acknowledgement, he simply nods back

“Alright, that didn’t seem to go quite to plan, could you run a quick diagnostics for me”

“Sure friend” moon responds in a surprisingly chipper manner, I try not to freeze up and being called a friend, I’ve worked alongside the daycare attendant for a while, and I’ve even talked with my predecessors on a few occasions, this first time I’ve ever heard of the night themed animatronic giving anyone this moniker, i try not to dwell or draw attention to this.

As I am getting ready to pull the nighttime attentions diagnostics stats up on my faz pad, he chimes in.

“Hm, everything’s moved around, I haven’t a clue what half of these files are” moon let’s me know, which it a bit suspicious, neither ai Is usual this forthcoming with there ailments, for whatever reason it usually takes more pestering to get this kinda information information.

“…what?” I blink in surprise, I am a little lost at whatever moons playing at

“There’s at least one background application running that doing something” he shrugs

“What’s that supposed to mean”

“No idea” he kinda shrugs again

“Alright. How are you feeling”

“No idea”

“What’s that’s supposed to mean”

“I don’t know yet” moon starts to look like he zooming out

“Fine, can I talk to sun then” I say try not to grit my teeth

“Sun doesn’t want to talk to you right now” moons eyes grow large in shock,some how he seems surprised by his own words.

~~~~~

Soon as he’s able moon begins shifting through all the losses files, sorting out tangled strands of code, and closing an application that can be before long everything is at least neat which doesn’t mean much as far but it at least a little easier to think,

Moon then turns his attention outwards to see y/n working on something, he sits and watches them work for a little bit before they freeze, and turn to acknowledge him.

“Moon” the nighttime animatronic nods in response

“Sure friend” moon mumbles not even paying attention

Before long they continued with “Alright, that didn’t seem to go quite to plan, could you run a quick diagnostics for me”

As moon starts the diagnostics he can hear Sun grumbling about something

Finishing the diagnostics, they see one maybe more applications failed to close when they were supposed to, along with brand new files that can be opposed,

“Hmm nothing to bad,”

Sun huffs “let’s let y/n know so we can get out of here moony!”

“Hm, everything’s moved around, I haven’t a clue what half of these files are” moon says for some reason

“Moon!! What ? We didn’t need to mention it” Sun mentally cuts it

“That’s not what I wanted to say”

They both hear the slight apprehension in y/ns voice “What’s that supposed to mean”

“No idea” moon shrugs

Moon hear feel suns deep frown from here

As y/n asks “Alright. How are you feeling” moon can feel sun starting to creep closer to the controls

“Come on moony, this one’s an easy one, I know the correct answer, you know the correct answer, go ahead and say the correct answer, we can still salvage this” sun is starting to sound a little anxious

“I got this sun” moon says as he starts to respond with the answer most every human expects to get when they ask, ‘fine’

“No idea” moon says this and sun does a mental double take

“We just talked about this moony”

“What’s that’s supposed to mean” y/n looks confused

“I don’t know yet” at this sun is yelling

“GAAHH, I can’t with either of you right not, I don’t know if you know but we’ve got a daycare to take care of!! Stop trying to get us started in parts and services!!!” Sun takes a ver digital deep breaths

“I’m not doing anything, I don’t know what’s going on” moon says

“We can talk about this later, smooth things over with y/n so we can get out of here, I don’t really want to talk to them and this exact moment” sun says after he’s calmed down

“Fine, can I talk to sun then” upon hearing y/n say this sun looks to moon and moon looking to sun

“I got this, smooths my middle name”

“Sun doesn’t want to talk to you right now” moons eyes grow large in shock,some how he seems surprised by his own words.

“MOON YOU, YOU TATTLETALE”!!!

Ant this point sputtering both inside and out, face in his hand how this go so bad

Part 1/?

Part 2

Here’s a snippet of writing for @garbagechocolate’s truth virus au,

it’s not betaed and I didn’t actually proofread, so if you see something that needs fixed let me know

[beefrobeefcal]

BB, I am on death's doorstep over this man's tummy in that visibly too-small tac vest. Look at it. LOOK AT THAT SQUISHY BELLY! 😭💀

So this got me thinking...what if Mouse comes across the tac vest one day while she and Frankie are in the middle of a decluttering weekend? She stashes it away for safekeeping with a mischievous smirk.

Later that night, after Frankie's had his fill of their favorite takeout, Mouse brings out the vest and asks him to try it on. "Please, Frankie Baby? I wanna see how it looks on you. 🥺"

Frankie looks reluctant...the vest was already on the snug side the last time he wore it in Colombia, and he's grown in more ways than one since that dark time. And Mouse? Well, Mouse KNOWS the vest isn't gonna fit. She's not even sure it's gonna close over his round belly...especially with all the indulging he did at dinner.

But sweet baby Frankie is not one to deny his Mouse anything. Right, BB??

Lovey - you know I got you!

HELL YEAH. YES. WE NEED TO SEE IT ON HIM. and we get out wish.

Smuttiest regards,

Beefro 👌🥩💜

--------<3---------

Beefro Proudly Presents:

a Chubby!Frankie one shot

The Catfish & The Mouse: Frankie Takes a Trip Down Memory Lane

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader

Summary: Mouse finds some old relics and Frankie puts on a show.

Rating: Explicit 18+ (MDNI)

Word Count: 3,722

Content Warning: Smutty smutty smut smut, weight talk, food talk, belly worship, bely rubs, size kink, unprotected p in the v sex (don't be silly, wrap your willy, kids!), v-fingering, dirty talk, the usual Frankie & Mouse shenanigans

Author's Notes: Thank you @thehalflifeofloveisforever - not only did you gift the amazing art of Frankie, you also stuck it out at the first beefro @ the Movies and listened to my unhinged thirsting for Frankie on screen. Thank you for being a Friendo and this one is for you!

And thanks to my lovely Beta Fish @neverwheremoonchild for doing what they do best 💜

--------<3---------

When you and Frankie moved in together, you’d rented a storage locker for all you stuff that didn’t quite fit in your first apartment. But even after moving into your house, neither of you really gave that storage locker much thought outside of grabbing the Christmas decorations each late fall and retiring them in January.

But you’d had enough of that monthly charge on your credit card getting a little higher over time and that was why you were now sitting on a box, sorting through your and Frankie’s separate histories. Frankie was at work, and you’d agreed to not dispose of his stuff – just to bring it home and let him deal with it - you’d managed to sift and sort through all of your boxes, filling up the back of the rented cube van. There was one thing left in the locker and it was a large, metal chest containing Frankie’s military gear.

He hadn’t hidden his past from you and had even shown you what he had in the chest when it was being stored. You opened it and pulled some of the clothing and gear out, smiling at how small it looked. The clothing and gear were from when Frankie was a much, much thinner man, easily less than half his current size. You then pulled an envelope out and opened it, revealing some pictures of Frankie with Santi, Will and Benny. Even though you knew it was him, it still didn’t feel real that the lanky, broad shouldered, baby face smiling in the photographs was now the big bellied, sweet, chubby Frankie that you loved so much.

A devious grin crossed your face as a thought entered your mind. The clothing and gear in the chest would have been bigger on you, but you were absolutely certain that Frankie would be hard pressed to even get the vest around his chest, let alone his belly…

*****

Frankie stood up from the table after devouring his dinner. His stomach was big and round, projecting out and side to side and he huffed as he stood to his full height with his back arched to accommodate the weight he’d packed into himself.

“You ate well…”, you cooed, patting his belly.

He’d been eating really well as of late, his tummy becoming more prominent. He also now needed bigger portions to get full, and you had been more than happy to oblige him. He’d told you last week that he’d had to size up his coveralls again, and when you asked him to bring home his old ones and show you, the sight of him standing before you with his empty belly and chubby love handles stopping the zipper from closing left you a whining mess, begging him to fuck you.

“Yeah… getting pretty big.”, he smiled back, slapping his belly. The dull thud noise it made from being so full was music to your ears. But it did give you pause.

He’d mentioned a few times how big he felt, how big he was getting, and you weren’t sure if this was still what he wanted. He never expressed frustration or discomfort, but there was an air of something in his comments.

“You still happy?”, you asked softly, your hand sliding down and rubbing his underbelly, feeling how heavy his tummy was. “Still happy with this belly?”

He looked at you, his hand finding yours, and nodded with a little bit of nervousness. “Yeah… think I’m where I wanna be… here… not any bigger though; it’s getting kinda hard working on big rigs when I’m just as… big.”, he chuckled at his last statement, then his voice went quiet. “Is that… okay?”

“Yeah, honey… totally fine.”, you smiled, standing on your tip toes and kissing him. “I love you and want you to be happy… and if that means this – “, you said giving his belly a squeeze. “- stays like this? I’m happy.”

He kissed you back sweetly and moved to the couch while you cleaned up after dinner.

*****

After the final pan was washed, dried and put away, you walked into the den to find Frankie laid back and snacking on some snack cakes that you didn’t even realize he’d grabbed enroute to the couch.

His eyes turned to you, and a bashful grin appeared on his face as he swallowed.

“Hey princess… just having a snack.”

You huffed a laugh and walked up to him, pressing a kiss to his forehead and rubbing his belly. Even as he was laid down, his tummy felt firm and full under a layer of softness, and it protruded up from his body.

He hummed in contentment as his hand interlaced his fingers with yours, pulling your hand to his mouth and kissing it.

He looked up at you and smiled. “I meant to ask: how’d you fare with the storage locker?“

“Oh, it’s done. I conquered that shit like a pro.” You gave him your best Rosie the Riveter pose.

“Hey! Good girl!” Frankie beamed up at you. “And my stuff?”

“All your stuff remained intact and it’s in the garage…”, you stated, then your voice dipped into a low, sultry tone as your fingers walked up his hefty tummy.  “… except a few things I brought inside… for you to try… on.”

“Oh?” His eyebrows raised and he lowered the footrest. He huffed as he sat up and his belly pushed his thighs open, and he leaned forward, hands on his knees.

“What you got for me, princess?”

“Just stay there… I’ll be right back.”, you chirped as you skipped down the hallway to your bedroom.

When you emerged back in the den, Frankie looked up and his jaw dropped. There you were, in the black bra and pantie lingerie set he’d picked up for your last birthday, your platform heeled combat boots and his tactical vest.

“Oh fuck…”, Frankie groaned, reaching under his belly and palming his crotch. “You know what you’re doing, princess?”

“You like it?”, you tried your hand a pin up pose.

He held his hand out to you. “Come here, princess.”

You grinned wryly at him and took a step back.

He shook his head, keeping firm eye contact, and he growled, “No… don’t you dare. You wanna dress like a soldier, princess, you take orders like one.”

You eyed him again, gauging if it would be worth it for you to make him chase you. He narrowed his eyes at you, and leaned forward a bit further, like he was readying himself to get up.

“Don’t do it, princess. Get over here and fall in fucking line. Now.”

“Sir. Yes, sir.”, you purred as you walked towards him, swaying your hips, and took his hand.

Frankie smugly grinned and tugged you on him; you squeaked and hitched your knee on the arm rest and stood, straddling his thigh.

“Good girl…”, he crooned as his hand not holding yours reached between your legs and stroked your clothed folds, and you sucked in a breath.

 “You look good in my vest, princess… it’s a little big on you, but you look fucking hot…”

“Want you to put it on… wanna see it on you… please Frankie…”, you whined, rocking your hips against his hand.

He huffed a chuckle and smiled. “Mouse baby, you’ve ensured I can’t fit into anything I wore last year, let alone shit I wore in the military.”

“I know… that’s the point.”, you panted, wrapping your hand around the wrist of the hand between your thighs. “Wanna see you try… wanna see all my hard work… please, Frankie baby.”

Frankie’s face slacked and he let out soft groan at your words and your palm coming down to the front of his full belly and firmly patting and caressing him.  

“There were pictures in with your tac vest, Frankie… you were so skinny… but look at you now… you got big, baby… twice the man you used to be… eating well… getting big… getting round… making your belly heavy and full… look so good like this… but I gotta see it, baby… gotta see you get this vest on you…”

His hazy eyes looked at you as he panted slightly. He nodded dumbly, licked his lips, and hoarsely replied, “Yeah, princess… that what you want?”

You nod and grin mischievously. “Yeah, baby… wanna see you in this – “, you shimmied your chest to highlight the vest, “- so we can have a comparison.”

A smile crept across Frankie’s face; he gently pushed you back and hoisted himself off the couch and stood up. Even with the platform combat boots, he stood a head above you.  

He hooked his fingers in the arm holes of the vest and pulled you towards him slowly.

“Looks like it might be a little small, princess.”, he grinned. “Anything you want me to try and get on with it?”

Your hand snakes down his front and you gently gripped his almost-hard cock through his jeans. “It’s laid out in the bedroom for you…”

You tugged his cock and he grunted. “Don’t tease… Gimme the vest, Mouse…”

You let go of him and undid the vest, removed it and handed it to him. He watched your every move and made a low whistle at you standing before him in nothing but your lace lingerie and boots.

He took one last look then walked down the hall to your bedroom.

*****

You sat on the couch, curled up in the corner where Frankie previously sat, playing on your phone while you waited for Frankie. You heard some grunting and swearing coming from your bedroom, and you looked up, trying to see down the hallway.

“You need help, honey?”, you called out.

“Close your eyes, princess!”, he called back.

You did as requested, and you heard the bedroom door open, then heard Frankie lumber down the hallway towards you.

You knew he stood in front of you, not only from his footsteps creaking the floor, but you also could hear the fabric he was wearing creaking and stretching over his body.

He was breathing heavier, like getting the clothing on was strenuous but you could hear his smile when he spoke next, his voice deep.

“Open your eyes, princess.”

The sight before you was everything you had hoped it would be. Frankie stood with his legs wide, as if standing at ease, his cargo khaki pants pulled up but tight on his thighs and undone, and his faded red t-shirt pulled tight across his chest and shoulders and unable to go down any further than that. His round, fully belly prominently sticking out, preventing both the shirt and pants from being able to meet and sit where intended. His old Standard Oil trucker hat was on his head with his aviator sunglasses on his face.

You noted the tac vest was not on him but hanging at his side. He saw you look at it and he sucked in a breath and held it up in one hand as his other slapped his belly.

“The vest ain’t gonna fit, princess… sorry baby… you fed me way too good.”, he chuckled as you got up from the couch and walked towards him.

“I’ll help.”, you cooed, taking the vest from him as you both had stupid grins on your faces.

You helped him get the over his head and one arm through, but getting the side done up was a struggle.

“Frankie… did this ever fit you?”, you giggled as you tried to tug the sides together.

“Well… ooof! … yeah… but the last time I tried when we moved in together, it was – hmph! – getting a bit tight…”, he grunted as he tried to suck in his belly to to avail, then he laughed, and his tummy bounced. “Look what you’ve done to me!”

Your giggles continued as you finally got one of the clips to close, right under his armpit.

“Hey! We got one!”, you chirped, and Frankie laughed.

“Jesus, it’s tight!”, he huffed out with a smile.

You stood back and took in all that was Frankie. “God dammit…”, you breathed as you looked over his big form. “Look fucking good, Morales…”

“I look like an overstuffed sausage shoved in a shrunken leather glove – “

“Don’t… baby, don’t do that…”, your hand cupped his cheek and turned his face to yours, and the other caressed his chubby waist. “You look like a man who’s served his country and is now enjoying life with a woman who loves every pound, every ounce of you.”

“Fuck, you’re good.”, he said with a lopsided grin. “I love you so much… I’m a lucky bastard.”

“I love you, too.”

He leaned down and kissed you, then pulled away with his eyes and smile wide.

“Take a picture! Mouse! Get your phone and take a picture!”, he excitedly said.

You giggled, grabbing your phone. Frankie posed as though nothing was amiss with his outfit and then you got an idea. You grabbed o w of the photograph of Frankie wearing the exact outfit he was in and gave it to him, giggling.

“Hold it up. I’ll get a ‘before and after’ picture!”

He looked at the photo then smiled and held it up, and you got a shot of him, twin smiles almost a decade apart.

The size difference shot a hot spike in your core, and you clenched your thighs. It didn’t go unnoticed by Frankie, and his smile slid into a devilish grin. He took your phone to have a look; you thought he was texting the photo to himself.

“You like what you see, princess?” He began moving towards you. “Like seeing how big you got me?”

“Yeah… baby, yeah, I do.”, you almost panted, nodding as he stood less than a foot from you.

“Tell me how it makes you feel to see me like this- “,  he grabs your hand pushes it against his belly, shaking it and making you feel the weight of him, “- to know this is all your handiwork.”

You let out a breathy whimper from your parted, pouted lips.

“Tell me, princess, how it feels to know you’re making me outgrow all my clothes so fast.”

“Frankie…”, you whimpered in a whisper, realizing he was backing you slowly towards the couch.

“Yeah, princess? You wanna tell me how much you like knowing how much bigger I am than you? That why you keep me well fed?”

The back of your knees hit the couch and you fell back with a squeak and Frankie stood over you between your parted knees. He reached under his arm and undid the vest, pulling it off and tossing it to the side.

He bent down and slid his hand between your thighs, pushing your lace thing to the side and feeling how slick you were.

“So fucking wet for me… my kinky baby… my princess gets wet from getting me fat.”, he smugly cooed. He kept eye contact with you as you breathed in and opened your mouth, eyes trying not to roll back. You could feel your cunt gushing again with the way he spoke to and looked at you.

“And my princess likes being called out for making me big… I can feel you getting wetter… pretty little pussy’s just fluttering and clenching on nothing but the hope this fat guy’s gonna fuck you stupid, huh?”

Your eyes widened and before you could respond, he pushed two thick fingers into your core. You gasped and grabbed his arm as his other hand played on the headrest of the couch beside your head.

“Fuck, Mouse… so fucking wet… baby, so tight… love this pussy… love my pussy… so fucking warm and wet…”, he murmured as he pumped his fingers in and out of you.  The sounds coming from your mouth and count were like music to him; your whimpers, gasps and cries juxtaposed to the wet, slick and obscene sounds he was pulling from your core.

“Frankie! … please… please baby… please I need… I want you on me… wanna – fuck! – wanna feel how heavy you are… please… please fuck me!”

 He smiled and kept fucking you with his fingers. “Princess, you're so sneaky. You've got everybody fooled."

You looked up at him, panting and confused. "What...what do you mean, Frankie?" 

“People take one look at me and assume I'm a greedy, fat guy. But YOU'RE the greedy one, baby.”, he growled, circling his thumb on your clit, increasing the speed of his fingers. “You can't get enough of this belly, can you? Never gonna get your fill? You fucking love it when people ask you what you're feeding me. You think you do a good job of hiding it, but I know, Princess. I know."

Words failed you as the coil in your lower belly snapped and you came hard on his fingers, a wet patch now on the couch under you.

“Good girl…”, he groaned as he lifted his fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean. “I could tell everyone I got fat on your sweet pussy, and they’d believe me.”

He grinned and leaned down, catching your lips in a fevered kiss. You could taste yourself on his tongue and your arms wrapped around his neck, and moaned into his mouth, “Please, Frankie…”

He pulled back and you both tugged and pulled at the too-tight khakis and his boxers to free his aching cock. You then removed your panties, and he pushed you to lay across the couch as you frantically kissed one another. He sat up on his knees and gripped your knee, pulling your hips towards him, and he lined himself up with you and pushed in, leaning over you. Both of you let out a gasp as his hand found yours and interlaced, and you assumed Frankie was going to make love to you.

You couldn’t have been more wrong. What you didn’t realize was how riled up Frankie really was at your confirmation that you loved what you’d done to him. You’d made him bigger, softer, heavier, bulkier – and you loved him even more for it. The idea that he, at his size and in too small clothing, made you that wet and needy… it flipped a switch in his brain and put him on auto pilot; set him on a dangerous crash trajectory to fucking you hard and fast into the couch.

He let go of your hand and when you tried to sit up to catch his mouth in a kiss, he pulled your hips towards him harshly. You fell back and he snapped his hips into yours, forcing low grunts from him and panting whines from you. He put his whole weight into his harsh thrusts, making each time his cock impaled you sting – but you didn’t care right now, he felt so good.

“Can’t even see where I’m fucking you… made me so big… can’t see your tight pussy sucking me in… but fuck… I can feel it…you like having a fat guy fuck you, princess?... that’s why you’re so fucking wet…”

You cried out as he picked up the pace and intensity. He planted a foot on the floor, giving him more power to his already heavy thrusts and causing your body to rub into the coarse fabric of the couch. You could feel the friction making your back warm, and you knew you’d feel it afterwards – but you didn’t care right now; he felt so good.

“Fr-Frankie!... baby… keep – fuck!... keep going… don’t stop… look s-so good… so big… so fucking big!”

“Yeah?... that’s why your pussy’s holding on so hard… fuck… feels so good, Mouse… look so beautiful, baby… fucking small under me…”, he grunted, feeling your cunt start to spasm, knowing you were close. He released one of your knees, brought his thumb to his mouth and coated it in his spit, then brought it to your swollen clit and rubbed circles. “Come on, princess… come for me… come on… lemme feel it…”

Your body reacted quickly, and you came hard, back arched, his name peeling from your throat.

“That’s it… good girl… good…fucking…girl!”, Frankie groaned, his own release building quickly. His thrusts fell out of rhythm and as your body started to come down, he found his end. Pounding into you in a few quick thrusts, he came, and you could feel his hot spend filling you up and seeping out of you on to the couch.

Normally, you would have stay connected for a little while longer, but Frankie’s exertion in combination with the added weight he carried with his big dinner left him needing to sit down. When he pulled out of you, you let out a soft whimper and reached for him.

“I know, princess… I know… I’m sorry… I gotta sit down…”, he panted, grabbing your hand and kissing the back of it before sitting back heavily in his spot at the end of the couch. He placed his hand on your ankle and rubbed gently.

You sat up, now keenly aware of the mess under you, and crawled to his side, snuggling in. You rubbed his belly gently; he was still feeling quite full, and you knew he needed to let it settle.

The faded red t-shirt was still pulled tight across his chest, and you slipped your finger under the rolled up hem, feeling almost no give.

“How did you manage to get this on?”, you asked quietly with a smile.

Frankie wiped his forehead and chuckled. “It wasn’t easy… and I can’t imagine getting it off will be either.”

Your phone vibrated, alerting you to a text, and then a few more in rapid succession. You sat up, scanning the room and finally found your phone on the floor next to the couch. Picking it up, you unlocked it and saw your group chat with Benny, Santi, Frankie, Hannah and Will was busy reacting to something. You scrolled up in the chat and saw that Frankie had sent the comparison picture of him holding his old photo to the group from your phone.

“Frankie!”, you gasped, and he laughed beside you, reading the comments.

“Holy fuck Fish!😲😂” - Santi “Yeah… I guess Mouse is a good cook 🤣 ” - Hannah "Breaking news! Relationship weight gain is not a myth!” - Benny “MOUSE. WFT.” - Will

--------<3---------

Image drawn by @yahtiwakitakos

TAGLIST:

@theywhowriteandknowthings @harryleatherfit @harriedandharassed @neverwheremoonchild @rebel-held @beee-haw @nevergoingbacknowshine @idolatrybarbie @v4vayha @lalocitos @xdaddysprincessxx @deathsholywaterr @heareball @lyssramscal @wintrwinchestr @blackfemalenerd @toxicanonymity @southernbe @starkeydaviss @patti7dc

[redlaserpointers]

Hey everyone! Been feeling quite lonely, due to my socials break. Good news is that it does work! I've had more free time to do my studies, and I've been having a healthier sleep schedule because I don't stay up until 3AM talking to friends, which means I've focused more on school. Bad news: touching grass by yourself, is still lonely. Even with classmates, it's still lonely. If I go back to online socials, then I risk ruining my schedules again, but scheduling is essentially the only reason I'm even away. So, how about this: Let's go back to how it was in the 1990s. Back then, everyone sent their friends emails that others can reply at any time, without the current societal pressure of having to be 'on time' for a conversation. Send me asks, and I'll reply to them. Let me know what's been happening with your friend groups, and I'll let you know what I have been up to. My inbox is always open, and I'll get around to answer every ask at my own leisure, which is a win! I get to keep in contact while not ruining my sleep schedule, hooray!! Anyways, I'll see ya. Take care, drink some cold water, tell yourself some good things about you, and stay cheery. Gonna tag some (not all, if you're reading this I love you no matter what <33) of my friendos to make sure they see this: @komishko @tortadecuchufli @rusty-bolt @tetrabytesthedust @mysteryterror @conc1erge @local-robotgirlthing @lord-plague

[iciatheguardess]

Hiiii it’s meeee elsie

conflicted Elsie

Look, you know as well as I do that I love TAOCC to freaking death

but like

I may have to partially step away from it after the current arcs are over.

these goofy goobers took over my life for the last three-ish months, and while I’ve had an amazing time, it’s…caused me to neglect other parts of my life, and restrict myself more than I should when it comes to how I am on this site. I’ve stated my intention to try and branch out multiple times but I never go through with it because I just…I have things to write here! I can’t! And yeah it’s fun but sometimes I get hurt even if people don’t mean to, like, I’ve gotten legitimately ill from this once or twice.

But I feel like even trying to step away a bit is somehow abandoning all of you or betraying your trusts. I want to stay friends with you guys, but my actual life and Irlsie has to come first most of the time, because I am not JUST Elsie, if that makes any sense. Elsewhere is and was always meant to be a sona for some interaction, maybe some friendos, but nothing this…involved, because I can’t put all of my social effort onto the internet because no matter what I do, the internet is not a completely genuine place, and I’ve accepted that. There are some parts of my personality I just don’t use. You don’t really ever see calm Elsie or mental illness Elsie or sappy Elsie, maybe once or twice, and that’s intentional. This is Writing Elsie’s blog, lol, but there’s other Elsie that needs to be allowed to exist outside of the internet, and I can’t neglect her or my actual life for the sake of this.

I honestly don’t know what to do here. I love these characters on a very personal level, and have poured my heart into them, and I don’t want to straight up leave them. Even only partially separating myself seems kinda pointless because I know what happens when someone gets really behind on the lore and has to be caught up on even just a day’s events to explain why Character A looks like this now or Character B is referencing this event, etc. etc.

But there’s a point where it’s not healthy anymore. Where things reach a place where I have to admit that this can’t be my entire life anymore. And I’m not entirely sure what on earth I should do about it…

If I do somewhat step back, it’ll probably be right after the vacation arc ends. i’m gonna pour my fluff loving heart and soul into that thing, don’t you worry. But you shouldn’t expect another dungeon or something like that from me unless I have a VERY good reason and a well formulated plan. Yes, I’ll probably still engage in shippery and fluff, as well as analysis, but mostly within the bounds of characters and dynamics we’ve already established, and not much farther than that. My one exception to the “after the vacation arc” rule would probably be Yelena’s arc, because of how long things in that section tend to take, for various reasons. Yelena’s arc is barely started, and stuff takes possibly days to move even a few hours in-universe. Sooooo….yeah, I wanna finish that, I’ve put too much work into it already to just stop it.

…dang this was only supposed to be a paragraph…

…pls halp, I have no idea what to do lol.

Ok. I've read over this a couple times.

First off, I'm talking to you as L here, and not Star. I am very, very proud of you for acknowledging this and understanding that this is getting unhealthy. I think it's very smart that you dont want to neglect your yourself irl and the fact you're saying this, and saying exactly what you'll be doing, I'm really proud of it.

To give you a clear answer, if it's going to help you irl then I think stepping back is smart. Especially from the trauma and angst, because that stuff hurts a LOT and it can be really, really detrimental and negatively affect irl things. What I DONT think is that it's betraying anyone. You need to be able to put yourself and your needs first in order to be your best self, and everyone understands that you can't be on tumblr 24/7 because, well, that's really really really really unhealthy and not good. I'm really glad you're telling me about this though so I, and everyone else who sees this, knows.

TAOCC is really great but there's a LOT of heavy things on here and with everything going on, it can be super weighing and really affect people irl. I can speak from experience because honestly, I'm in a similar situation. I won't speak much about that though. It's definitely addictive and can get really really unhealthy if you let it, and honestly it's not hard to let it.

I want you to do whatever you feel is best for you, no matter what that entails. Fei and Tails and Xeya and Kumo and so many others and I love you so much and do NOT want you neglecting yourself and your life irl for this- it's meant to be entertainment, not a lifestyle.

I think it's smart to finish Yelena's Arc before partially stepping back. And I think it's even smarter to not want to do another dungeon, because that whole thing was a massive angst-fest and I think it negatively affected people more than they care to admit. Shippery and fluff and minor things is a good boundary.

I'll wrap this up now, but again, I'm in full support of this decision because I want you to be at your best. You're right, you're not just Elsie. And it's not fair for you to only be Elsie when you're so much more than that. If stepping away from tumblr will help you take care of the other parts of your life that we aren't involved in or aware of, then please do so because no part of you and your life should be sacrificed for the sake of entertainment.

Again, I'm really, really proud of you for admitting this.

Please know we'll always support you and you're super important to all of us, so don't ever feel bad for putting your needs first. Irl things should always come first.

But no matter what always remember:

WE LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH AND YOURE SUPER IMPORTANT AND WE WANT THE BEST FOR YOUUU ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Everything I said is applicable for everyone else reading this too. Taocc is fantastic and we love it but it shouldn't completely take over your life. It's okay to take a break or step back fully if it means the best for your health and irl life. Please remember to take care of yourselves- and everything that Elsie talked about here is FANTASTIC self care. It may be hard, but it's also the best decision she can make for herself and may be the best decision for others too.

Alright- I think I covered everything. Don't ever feel like you're betraying us Elsie- it's not betrayal, it's self care. We'll still be here for you, always. Never forget that ❤️❤️❤️

[grumpycakes]

So as the house gets warmed up to go let me give a few updates I found out!

Voting Present LOWERS the number necessary to win, so it SHOULD be 219 with the full house but because Spartz votes Present it's 218

ARGUABLY if more Republicans vote Present but the 20 stick to their guns, the Democrats COULD win with 212 but Republicans don't want that

Buck who left for a non emergency medical procedure yesterday may not be back

We're starting up with only 275 reps present cause it's more than half but YIKES. Though I would assume more are showing up

a Californian Republican just got up to nominate McCarthy just to see how fast he loses. He's saying it's NOT ABOUT McCARTHY. FRIENDO YEAH IT IS. Lolll he's talking about serving the country with "Pure and Selfless intent~" and like idfk if any human can do taht.

ughghg the Republicans also keep bringing up fentinol overdoses and immigration and how it's going UnChEcKeD while we vote.

oh interesting, he thanked the national police (happily everyone got up and clapped for them) to pretend like Republicans care AT ALL about them.

... Sir why we talking about China, I don't think this is gonna move anybody you wanna move???

Jesus, he's trying to scare ppl into voting together cause the world is in DANGERRRR but like, THESE ARE THE PPL THAT REFUSED TO WEAR A MASK CAUSE IT MADE THEM UNCOMFY while people DIED. So loll ur talking for nothing sir. Hahahaha he's like, I agree w you shits but I WOrk w OtHeRsss and that's how you gotta WoRk!!! lolll

Oh here we go, telling the Dems they're on the EDGE of a VERY IMPORTANT VICTORY. Loll sure you lil dipshit. OH OH RUDE he just said, looking to the Dems I realize i haven't met many of you cause you're not here, voting by proxy. WOW, rumbles in the crowd and then the Clerk had to bang the gavel and be like HEY, UR SUPPOSED TO DIRECT COMMENTS TO THE BENCH.

Ur useless dude, this is too long of a speech. And stupidly blaming all of it on the Dems

South Carolina Rep is up for the Democrats

Awww he thanked the Clerk who's been running this circus and all the Dems rose and the Clerk smiled and mouthed thank you.

He's talking about learning lessons and working to be a better govt but flowery-er. Ah okay he's bringing up Jan 6. Resiliency. USA was made for liberty, justice, and freedom. Pointing out that it's the first time in over 100 years that they can't figure out who to vote for. The goodness of the american people is at stake??? Jeffries is a good dude i guess lol.

Oh lord almighty Gaetz is up and saying HE TAKES EXCEPTION TO THE CALIFORNIA REPS STATEMENTSSS. LOLL oh shit and he's saying that McCarthy is only speaker if he GETS THE VOTES and he DON'T HAVE THE VOTES. And he's saying it's vanity making McCarthy keep going. LOLL AND I THINK THE DEMS CLAPPED FOR THAT. hahaha ppl are yelling at him and order had to be called. HAHAH Gaetz just called him LaBron James but that would mean that McCarthy was a WINNER AT SOME POINT.

Oh dude don't fucking bring up PURITY you lily white fuck. Damn he's just calling out his own party. He's saying their intentions when trying to negotiate w him weren't PUUUREEE. Again humans, nothings gonna be pure my dude.

Mr SQUINTS IS BACK!!!

Bottom line, they don't trust McCarthy, saying it's for the ppl

WOAH WAIT HE JUST NOMINATED JIM JORDAN AGAIN, NO

Boebert is up to nominate Hern. She keeps pointing out that he was unanimously voted as chairman for something and that he's gonna be united. Blahblahblah inflation, republican talking points. Oh yay quickly ended

OH SHIT AND WE'RE VOTING ROUND 12!!!

[writingkitten]

Filthiest Molina characters? The ones who would just absolutely destroy u in bed

OH HELL YEAH MORE LISTS

Note: all of this is consensual and involves Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK), none of this is meant to be abusive or anything also ALWAYS PRACTICE AFTERCARE THESE SLUTS DO IT AND YOU SHOULD TOO

Ricardo: this is a huge “duh” but BRO. BRO. BRO HE GOES SO HARD BRO. Like fuuuuuuck okay he’s such a sweetheart but he’s gonna grab a fistful of your hair and make you choke on his cock, he LOVES spitting in your mouth because it’s like another way of claiming you, he makes you taste yourself after he makes you come on his fingers (and cock) fuck yeah Ricky is nasty in the best way possible

Robert: ok this guy is like super SUPER into dirty talk he won’t shut the fuck up when he’s fucking you, and he’ll make you say stuff, too, like “say it, babygirl, tell daddy how wet he makes your sweet little pussy” and if you don’t say it EXACTLY like that he edges you until you correct the mistake. When he’s in a bad mood, he can be a very mocking daddy (not being serious, though, and not taking it too far)

Doc Ock: Otto would’ve wrecked you in bed with sensuality, but Doc? Holy fuck he’s rabid. Like foaming at the mouth, no color in his eyes, choking you while he basically chews your neck, leaving dark bruises that will be there for days… and if he wants to go for round two, he’s going to shove his fingers inside your cum-filled pussy and make you clean them until you’re empty again so oops oh no he’s gotta fill you AGAIN

Hank: so this man has been popping up in my head while I’ve been writing the others because he’s just one of those guys who’s into making so much of a mess that you both HAVE to get a shower afterwards, probably does a lot of foreplay that’s like him watching tv while using you as a footstool or making you cockwarm him, loves to degrade you

Harding: the good doctor is obviously (at least a bit of) a sadist. Only for pleasure purposes, of course, never going past your limit, but oh boy he’s elegant with his destruction of you, playing more psychological games than usual if he really wants you to fall apart

Maxim: very similar to Harding, maybe less “sterile” (if that makes sense? like Harding has a sterile filth to him, while Maxim has more of a comfortable filth? I’m high idk if this makes sense) uses magic sex stuff on you, literally anything @chrism02 writes with him is canon

Chandler: BRO IS LITERALLY A LYCAN LIKE HE THE WEREWOLF BOYFRIEND YOU’VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF YOU’RE GONNA NEED TO CHANGE THE SHEETS

Manuel: I think it can get messy because he loves to use religion in his sessions and so that can involve ritualistic acts that then involve stuff like wine and wax and sweat and blood and cum, also has a wicked tongue when it comes to dirty talk because he’s all religious about it (hierophilia kink go brrrrrrrr)

Big Boss: oh friendo I know you’re reading this so I’ll go in special for Jed (his unofficial canon name). Jed is super handsy and grabby, and just wants you at any given moment. Friendo and I have an HC that he owns a ranch with a bunch of animals so like if you’re in the barn he’s gonna want to roll in the hay if ya know what I mean and you both will get covered in dirt, also filthy in his seduction (like, oh idk, eating a peach with juice running down his chin)

There are other molina boys that I think can be filthy, but these guys are the ones that are most commonly ✨gross✨

[gothamusing]

DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE (2024) PART ONE. a collection of memes derived from the deadpool and wolverine movie, for roleplaying purposes. feel free to edit as you see fit. do not steal. (18+).

i’m sorry, i’m just excited to be here.

it's been a while.

for a long time, i wasn’t sure i’d ever be back.

you think i want to be out here in beautiful downtown north dakota, digging up the one and only (blank)?

the fate of my entire world is at stake.

he may not be living his best life, but he sure as hell ain’t dead.

my world is fucked!

i’m much calmer now.

look, i’m not a man of science, but you seem incredibly passed away.

it’s good to see ya.

i gotta be honest, i’ve always wanted to ride with you.

i could really use your help right now.

wait! i’m warning you! i’m not alone!

throw out your weapons and come out peacefully.

i’m not gonna give you my weapons! but i promise not to use them.

there are 206 bones in the human body. 207 if i’m watching gossip girl.

i am soaking wet right now.

to be clear, i’m not proud of any of this.

i can’t believe i’m finally here. i’ve waited for this moment for so long.

i know i was caught smashturbating in the lobby of stark tower.

i want to be an avenger.

what’s your superpower? is it parallel parking?

the problem might be that you’re reaching a little too high. aim for the middle and you’ll never miss. right?

i want to hit shake shack. rejection makes me hungry.

you know, you can answer the question without swearing.

i don’t have kids. not that i haven’t dreamt of that.

i don’t have a lot of vaginal sex.

i’m just saying, once a month, we could go on a little mission.

after all, we're deadpool.

well, if we’re gonna have a midlife crisis, go big.

you guys are lucky i’m not armed.

did you you sell any dreamcatchers on etsy or whatever it is that you do?

you trying to kill me, motherfucker?

i’m not the one dousing everything in salt, motherfucker.

i pray every day that fire finds your body and finishes the job god didn’t have the nuts to do.

thanks for coming.

bitch, are you improv-ing?

i’m sorry that you had to see that.

pegging isn’t new for me, friendo.

i’ve never been a natural bottom. so we’re going to take things real slow, and i want some crazy eye contact.

i don't like you.

holy fuck, that is a shit ton of exposition for a three-quel.

you are no longer lost. you can be a hero among the heroes.

what is that? is that me? is that thor? is he crying?

eyes on me.

i smell what you’re stepping in.

i am... marvel jesus.

snug, no camel toe, new car smell, and adamantium katanas, you shouldn’t have.

his clothes say middle management, but his eyes say fucky fucky.

i’m more of a one-week-on, one-week-off kind of guy. i think it’s what they do in denmark. you’ll never see a danish flag in the moon, but… god damn it, they’re happy. 

come again, this time in my ears?

you’ve just won the lottery because i didn’t die.

it’s just a little midlife crisis, i'm better now.

yeah, i got it. you can turn your retro graphics of death off now.

you’re gonna old yeller my fucking universe?

ow, my own fucking arm.

you sick fuck!

wolverine was a hero and the only thing worth a shit to ever come out of canada.

get my country’s name out of your fucking mouth. and my sword.

cue the fucking montage, baby.

now we’re talking. ooh, yeah. that’s the whole goddamn package right there.

it’s not you. we’re just going in a different direction.

i told you, you’re not welcome here.

just give me one more drink and then i’ll leave.

you two gonna fuck or fight?

i can tell you that sort of "don’t get too close, i’ll only break your heart" vibe going here.

unless you want to take a deep breath through your fucking forehead, i suggest you reconsider.

look at those jammies. that only took 20 fucking years.

this wolverine let down his entire world.

he’s the stuff of legend, but not in a good way.

what he did… well, some things are just beyond forgiveness.

what are you, the internet?

your world is dying.

is the thought of vaporizing my universe making you peckish?

i'm eating my feelings.

i’m about to lose everything that i’ve ever cared about.

holy shit. i just heard a symphony of butt holes clenching all at once.

where the fuck did he go?

don’t just stand there, you ape. give me a hand up.

is that what you said when your world went to shit?

yeah, i heard all about you. you screwed up everything, and you should be thanking me for pulling you out of that bed you shit in.

are you ready to be calm now?

i don’t want to fight you, peanut.

doesn’t matter what you did. i just need your help.

i don't fucking care.

let’s give the people what they came for.

fair warning, gorgeous. you’re going to encounter some indelicate language. a smidge of ass play, but we’ve been prohibited from using cocaine on camera.

you can’t run. everybody knows that.

you see anyone running, dick for brains?

you’re not gonna love what happens next.

shoot the double and take him down. side control, then full mount and you ground and pound, until he makes no sound because he’s dead.

shut the fuck up.

i'm a huge fan.

i’m so sorry. i know it’s pronounced him. i’m gender blind. it’s my cross to bear.

how long was i asleep?

not all of you was asleep.

fuck! you nicked it. just got the tip with your little steak knife.

you wanna chime in, your majesty? i’m dying here.

you picked the wrong time to make new friends.

i have never said any of those words in my entire life!

you stupid piece of shit, you just got him fucking killed!

hey, we're all grieving.

oh, honey, you don’t really strike me as a world-saving type.

we could be truly terrifying together.

i love it here.

i don’t have any beef with you. i just want to save my friends. i just, i wanna go home.

your fingers are inside me, but not in a good way.

i've got you.

i know you’re going through something. let me go through it with you.

your crazy matches my crazy.

just say it, okay? say, "i don’t want you, i don’t want to be with you".

you'll never fucking matter.

you are so mean.

this is baby knife, she’s gonna fuck you in the face now.

get the fuck off of me.

get your mind out of my pants.

poor kid, he's like 50!

what are you looking for?

you don’t wanna drink that.

wanna talk about what’s haunting you or should we wait for a third act flashback?

go fuck yourself.

fuck the avengers.

i know you’re hurt.

i identify as a feminist.

are those gold-plated, 50 caliber desert eagle pistoleros?

careful where you put your hand, she’s 90% g-spot, and she’ll let you know it.

it costs nothing to be kind.

shutting the fuck up is also free.

i can lend you my ride if you like.

this isn’t a car. this is a honda fucking odyssey. throttle response sucks a cock. dated infotainment system. when honda saw that untreated chlamydia was making a comeback, they invented the honda odyssey to compete.

get in the fucking car.

what's with the suit?

the x-men make you wear it? those sons of bitches.

they are not your friends, i’ll tell you that.

watch your frown lines, angel baby.

i’m just trying to bond a little bit.

you lied to me. you don’t have a fucking clue if they can help me fix things, do you?

i didn't lie! i made an educated wish!

if we don’t do something, they die.

my entire world is right here in this picture.

[dcviated]

@runefactorynonsense sent: [[Definitely get well soon friendo💖💖💖 Some fluff for some hopefully happy vibes!]]

As much as she enjoyed being a metaphorical headache, there is no pleasure in witnessing someone suffering from one. A touch of guilt passes across dual-colored eyes as curtains are drawn and lights dimmed (or extinguished), as she (admittedly) hopes this bit of pain is temporary. "Let the medicine do its job," Words said with a low voice. "And give yourself a quiet day." A day after which, hopefully, the Earthmate had enough strength to power further healing. Until then... Lynette takes a seat beside him, content to offer a leg as a pillow, and to perhaps doze, herself.

Lara had warned him. She and many others around town, in fact. Working the days as long and as hard as Raguna did carried with it risks of falling ill. Blame the weather. Blame the season. Whereabouts this ailment came from no longer mattered compared to the fact it was here now. And it was obnoxious. The spinning and spats of feverish mind racing were all strung neatly like a mobile underneath the hammering and persistent ache in his head.

"Uuuugh..." He didn't want to open his eyes, the fleeting beams of light only made things worse. And yet, that Lynette was the one offering him succor, support, and sympathy proved a convincing case to do so. If only to confirm what his mind would doubt in its daze. "I'm not used to seeing you like this, Lynette." The Earthmate admits aloud. "And I definitely appreciate it... thank you."

For once, he wasn't of the mind to argue against her suggestions. Doing anything while his head felt as rotten as this (a bad pumpkin being consumed by ants came to mind) (maybe on fire too?) (oh that's dramatic) ...was not going to happen. But finding sleep too was proving difficult. What was a good position to try? What should he put his face in? What would quiet the mind?

An offering, as it was, proved the answer to... most of these quandaries. A soft yet assuredly firm place to rest his cheek. A location urged by an even gentler hand as labored breaths turn to muttered noises of relief. No sooner had he laid his head into her lap did things start to slow down.

Maybe it was magic. Maybe it was something else. Maybe that didn't matter.

"Just gonna rest for... a few minutes..."

[sarahinara]

it's like 230am and I've already taken my meds but let's see how coherent I can manage to make this.

first oof omg. okay but the like. conflating of maine and the meta (with sigma & eventually the others) and the meta (without the ais) within fandom is so?? like distressing lmao.

the fandom wiki goes on and on about he was ambitious and conniving and power hungry but I just feel like that's so unfair?

because looking at the leaderboard across seasons nine and ten, I think the main reasons for him climbing the board are due to other people's actions and then like. taking a bullet or twenty to protect the briefcase/carolina during the terrible no-good very-bad heist™, and then once sigma gets involved it sure does seem like he does a lot of whispering in maine's ear. (the whole 'sic him' moment will never not be unsettling asdfghjkl)

BUT! but sigma was supposed to be carolina's and she gives him up so that maine can still communicate with the group but like. a decent majority of them can Already make sense of what he's saying? and sigma obviously has his own agenda like friendo iunno if your interpretation of what maine Means to say is wholly accurate.

I'm gonna get to Washington in a hot minute I just have a lot of feelings ;__; because he's got creativity&ambition via carolina, and then fear and happiness from her too. and then theta was next I think?? then gamma and omega, and finally delta? the order he acquires them in aren't intentional I'm sure but it still has me feeling like the pepe silva meme.

and he has So Many all at once? I mean there's that whole 'oh he was power hungry and that's why he&sigma are scooping all of the ais and tech up' but there's also that like. is it so wrong to want them to all be together? in the scheme of things? do they talk with one another in his head? is it Almost like being part of a team again? when does the mental exertion start to melt his brain and hollow him out into the seemingly single minded Meta? what was it like to suddenly have them all gone again? alone alone alone in his head and he can't even properly use his equipment anymore. absolute bullet in the kneecap no wonder he's so petulant and sassy to wash in s8.

anyways. pfl strong silent aggro tank maine and messy rookie 5ever washington make my heart hurt. they both (wash later, mostly) have that hair trigger tip into sudden sharp violence and Yet that 'my friends are in danger gotta toss myself in front of oncoming bodily harm bc that's how I operate' aspect to them as well. how washington is the only one still sitting in the lecture room while sigma fiddles around with the concept of metastability. like what was That about. those moments in s8 where it's almost back to normal exasperated banter? you can't see it but wash is prolly making exasperated lil bitchfaces all the time?

the whole. whose idea was it to bring the meta back along on the epsilon retrieval quest. his brain is prolly fried and he can't use his armor properly and his more than a little unstable. was it the chairman? surely he must have seen some sort of flaw in sending him back out there. was it washington? insisting that the shell of one of his dear friends needed to tag along with him? was there a trade thrown in there somewhere for maine's sake? would he have wasted away in some unsc prison somewhere if not?

wash knew the meta was likely going to try some nonsense when it came to epsilon (and later beta) and yet!!! and yet they're still a team and duoship weird not quite wary friends again not quite perfectly civil work partners. breaks my HEART!

anyways ;__;

okok putting my thoughts under a read more because this got long LMAO

pre-sigma maine (+wash)

YES justice for pre-sigma maine. when it come to the freelancers and the leaderboard, the only ones who reeeeeally cared about the rankings (that we saw) were carolina, south, and ct. the others mention it at points (york and north had a short convo about it), but they have the most reactions to changes/their placements on the board.

but maine? the guy who just does his job of kicking ass when asked? he’s not the one trying to jump off buildings and compete against his fellow agents (a la carolina after tex shows up), nor does he push himself to perform in the field (a la york after his eye injury). you’re absolutely right that maine probably  climbs the leaderboard because he’s just good at what he does.

I think that’s partially why I love the maine+wash duo so much—neither of them played to the project’s machinations of the leaderboard. wash comments so. many. times. about the absurdity of what they’re doing that partnering with maine is probably a breath of fresh air. no-nonsense, you-charge-ahead-I’ll-cover-the-field, oh-right-my-trackers-thanks—they know their strengths, that they’re good, and don’t need a leaderboard to tell them that.

post-sigma maine aka the meta

sigma is absolutely the source of any ambition for power in maine. at this point, the other AIs in use were omega, gamma, delta, and theta; tex probably didn’t talk to anyone about omega, gamma was just sorta odd, delta was calm but logical, and theta was unassumingly cute. maine didn’t have any reason to be overly cautious about sigma when he first got him, and sigma probably kept up pretences during their initial days in order to gain maine’s trust.

and then he has this AI, this piece of hardware wired into his brain and every thought—maybe sigma doesn’t interpret for maine 100% correctly, but he’s able to convince maine that he does. maybe sigma oversteps his boundaries as an AI, and goes down neural pathways he shouldn’t. then, when sigma whispers to maine, how is maine supposed to know if it’s the AI’s thoughts or his own?

I like to think that maybe that’s why he was able to have multiple fragments at once and still function, unlike carolina. whereas eta and iota kept to the AI-designated areas of their freelancer, sigma had such a handle on maine that his want to become human became maine’s as well, because suddenly he realizes that he feels the fragmentation as much as his AI does.

with each fragment he collects, maybe maine feels more whole despite the strain he’s putting on his body. each new voice in his head is like him remembering how to feel—happiness, fear, trust. when they talk to each other, it’s just like any other time he’s rationalized with himself.

this is when maine becomes the meta. when “maine”—everything he was before sigma was implanted—just becomes another fragment of the alpha, desperate for the other pieces that they lost. I don’t think meta is hollow-minded necessarily, but just an amalgamation that transforms maine away from what he once was.

post-meta maine (+wash)

the EMP goes off and it is so quiet.

I think maine is left reeling, still feeling like a fragment despite all biological evidence to the contrary, and doesn’t remember how to be human anymore. his combat abilities are deeply-ingrained muscle memory, but his thoughts? his emotion? the AIs were so intertwined with his mind that every flare of feeling is new and alarming.

then he meets S8 wash, and it only makes it so much worse. because the angry, betrayed man in front of maine is so conflicting with who he remembers, and he doesn’t have the capacity to process that. wash gives him an order and it’s so familiar and maine knows that he should trust wash, that he wouldn’t have hesitated once upon a time, but his mind is broken and all he can focus on is how quiet it is why can’t I trust you why can’t you trust anyone—

why does maine go with wash to search for epsilon? I think they’re both loose ends for freelancer, but neither with any lingering love for the project. wash is tired of it all; maine is a lost man wandering through each day. wash offers his efforts in exchange for his freedom; maine is offered freedom in exchange for his efforts. the chairman pairs them together because the records are clear—they were a good team, and they won’t come anywhere near freelancer after this.

I think if their goal was anything else, if they weren’t dealing with AIs, then maybe wash and maine could’ve come out from their mission a little better for it. his friend is broken but he’s here, and wash learns how to trust again when he feels that white armor pressing against his back in a firefight; his friend is broken but he’s here, and maine finds his own voice again when they’re killing time between objectives. with time, they both feel less alone.

but they were hunting epsilon, and this is maine’s chance to feel whole again, like how he felt when he had the fragments filling his head. there is no downtime, no chance for either of them to heal with their mission looming over their heads. maine might work with wash throughout S8, but when the opportunity presents itself to collect epsilon and beta? the opportunity to be human again?

he never had a choice.

[sichore]

Gimme YOUR CHOICE in answer for the OTP prompt, friendo. I wanna hear you answer something about your favorite couple, that you really wanna share :D

[Taé's choice! 5. A casual kiss between your ship]

"Huh, yer really crankin' those out," Pickles notes. The drink on his breath wafts over Jimi as he ducks his face down towards her, saccharine to a nearly sickening level.

Jimi's used to it and shivers a bit at the ghost sensation of his beard brushing against her cheek. "Yeah, this movie's got some great compositions in its cinematography," she replies, continuing to fill in the various thumbnails she's made over the course of the evening.

They pointedly ignore Murderface's loud huff from the other side of Pickles, who gently taps at a swiftly sketched portrait on the page. "Dood, this one - how'd you get so much of his face with just a few lines?"

"I've had lots of practice," Jimi says gently, shrugging, and she can feel Pickles' smirk, even though his face only hovers near hers.

He shakes his head, swearing under his breath. "Fuckin' amazing."

Murderface loudly groans, sounding much like a bulldog snoring in that particularly phlegmy way of his. "Maybe you should, I dunno, consider getting a room," he mumbles.

"What was that?" Pickles' smirk never fades as he sits up to look over at the bassist.

"Got something to say, William?" Jimi joins in, grinning herself as she peeks over from where she's tucked against the drummer and under his outstretched arm.

"I'm juscht saying," Murderface sighs, unfolding his arms to throw up his hands. "This isch supposed to be movie night! Not a fucking date night."

"We're not dating," Pickles and Jimi say as one, on cue, without missing a beat.

That just makes Murderface sputter and squawk, gesturing at the two. "Then what the fuck do you call of thisch?"

"We're jest hangin' out, dood."

"Just paling around."

"It'sch... obscene."

"You didn't have to sit with us," Jimi says pointedly, nodding towards where the guitarists and frontman are in the hottub.

"Someone has to keep an eye on you two and make sure things are... age appropriate."

"Fer a horror movie?" Pickles chuckles silently, his body shaking and reverberating through Jimi. "Yer paranoid over nothin', dood."

"We're just sitting here."

"Like a couple of homosch."

Jimi glances up at Pickles as he takes another swig of his drink, glancing at her from the corner of his eye and shrugging. "Whaddya think? Kinda fruity?"

"Just a bit." Jimi closes her sketchbook with a yawn.

"Done fer the night?"

"Yeah. Gonna try and actually sleep for once."

"Mmkay." And Pickles ducks his head down to press a kiss to her mane of curls. Jimi lifts her face, smiles as he gives her a peck on the cheek. "Night, Jim."

"Night-"

"Oh what the FUCK!"

Murderface sputters and recoils as though he's been punched. Jimi just looks at him quizzically as she stands.

Pickles raises a pierced brow. "Problem?"

"Quiet down back there," Nathan grumbles from the hottub.

"But she - you - why doesch he get...!"

Jimi meets Pickles' glance, matches his smirk, and leans over to Murderface's cheek while he takes the other.

Smeck!

The bassist's screams and Pickles' laughter follow Jimi all the way out of the room, along with Nathan's bellows for him to shut the fuck up already, we can't hear the movie!

[Soft OTP Prompts]