#that's exactly what I'D be doing if i was about to write a catastrophe that i wanted the audience to feel tense and conflicted about.

[drinkingdeadpeopletea]

oh so the highest light is for SURE getting destroyed or at the very least endangered huh,

[ashela-ley]

I think Cartman hates jewish people and -Kyle- too much to be vulnerable like you've depicted. No matter what level of physical attraction he might feel.

Hi there, thanks for your comment. Unfortunately I wrote a whole-ass novel in response so here's the TL;DR so you don't actually have to read all that: I agree that the comic is OOC but I don't think it's because of Cartman's hatred of Kyle or Jewish people.

Sorry for misusing your message to go on a somewhat loosely related rant but I've been meaning to write this for a while and it came as a convenient excuse lmao _

I agree with you regarding the vulnerability. I don't think Cartman would voice his feelings like that unless (he could claim that) it's a farce (e.g., Jenny Simons, "Cartman Finds Love") or the other person shows interest in him first so he feels safe from rejection (Heidi, initially - not opening that whole can of worms rn lol). For example, he treated his attraction to Patty Nelson as a big secret, apparently not even considering ever confessing to her, and that's most likely because he was expecting the reaction she did end up giving him since, beneath his self-deceit, he's excruciatingly aware of the fact that he's actually not exactly highly regarded by his peers.

It's a lot of work upholding the façade he's build for himself of being this cool, esteemed person and it cracks easily even without direct outside influence (for example when Clyde Frog or Cupid Me insult him) so he really, really doesn't deal with rejection very well. Him being this vulnerable to Kyle specifically and then getting rejected would be absolutely catastrophic for him, so I agree that he wouldn't put himself in that position. However, it's my opinion that the most OOC thing about the comic is the fact that he simply acknowledges that Kyle hates him. I don't actually think he'd just accept that but would instead convince himself that it isn't true ("Kyle has internalized homophobia" or better yet "Kyle doesn't think he's worthy of someone as cool and awesome as me") and then do some crazy shit to try and win him over.

So yeah, you're right: He Would Not Fucking Say That. I don't think his hatred of Kyle and/or Jewish people is the reason he wouldn't, though, as I believe Cartman's feelings towards Kyle and Judaism are a lot more complicated than that. It's not without reason that his relationships with both are such a big part of the show and that people smarter than me have written whole essays on the topic lmao

I feel the need to clarify that I am in no way trying to excuse any of Cartman's antisemitism! I'd just like to voice a few thoughts on its origin and evolution.

Cartman is clearly weirdly obsessed with both Kyle and his religion and obviously they are linked. While I suppose initially it might have been a bit of a chicken-egg situation ("He hates Kyle because he hates Jews" vs. "He hates Jews because he hates Kyle"), I believe originally his antisemitism may have simply been a byproduct of his fascination with the third reich, which itself I think was mostly a result of his enjoyment of envisioning himself as a dictator (i.e. the ultimate authority figure) and as such was actually pretty surface-level - as is evident from the fact that for a long time he didn't seem to fully grasp what exactly Judaism even IS (as shown when he apologizes to Kyle for calling him a Jew or when he uses the term as an insult towards Stan and Kenny). Still, I very much dislike it when people try to downplay his bigotry as naivety. That really doesn't hold any water after very early on in the show, if it ever even did in the first place, since he definitely acts from a place of malice and over time his fixation on the religion seems to have developed into something bigger. He's learnt more about it and it became much more synonymous with Kyle for him (the order of which is also debatable but I of course lean a certain way). At this point in the show I believe it's safe to say that he wouldn't be nearly as obsessed with Judaism if Kyle wasn't Jewish. While Cartman is obviously a bigoted asshole in many ways, he's not nearly as preoccupied with other minority groups as he is with Jews and he has even shown himself to be surprisingly tolerant of homosexuals and disabled people (who, of course, were also heavily persecuted under Nazism).

I really do think that "Jewpacabra" did leave a lasting impact on his character. It's pretty obvious that he was being genuine at the end of of the episode and actually did intent on self-identifying as Jewish from then on (and iirc M&T confirmed as much in the commentary to that episode and explained that they just sort of… forgot about that lol) and then in "Shots" he does claim to be Jewish and while that may have been in an attempt to get a vaccination exemption, the aforementioned commentary makes me believe it may not exclusively be that.

Notably, he specifically calls himself an "Orthodox Jew", which Kyle obviously doesn't seem to be and that ties in nicely with him becoming a rabbi in PC and making the religion his entire personality - because it's not enough to become Jewish: He needs to beat Kyle at being Jewish.

Of course, Cartman never actually stops being antisemitic before the time skip but then "Cupid Ye" implies that that isn't even a fully conscious decision that he can completely control but instead at least partially caused by whatever he has going on mentally. He even actively attempts to counteract it when he decides that it has gone too far. That's my take on the episode, at least. Obviously the whole thing with Cupid Me is kind of messy. No matter what exactly is actually happening there, I do think the his actions here prove that his feelings regarding the matter are more complex than they may initially appear to be.

Though I know it's still a point of contention for many, to me personally it seems pretty clear that him being a rabbi and a family man in PC was authentic and that he wasn't simply messing with Kyle the entire time. However, I find it extremely interesting that Cartman converted BEFORE meeting Yentl so I actually don't see any way in which Kyle didn't have any part in that and as such I don't think he would have ever become a rabbi if Kyle didn't happen to be Jewish. So my personal headcanon is that while Cartman's conversion was indeed directly influenced by Kyle, he actually did end up finding fulfillment in the faith and it ironically helped him let go of his obsession with him (which I think fits the show's style of humor).

To summarize: As a shipper I may be biased but I think that Cartman is a disturbed little boy who grows up to be a disturbed little man who fails to fully understand his feelings towards Kyle and - as an extension of that - the Jewish faith and thus lashes out into extremes regarding it.

[monoclesnapple]

Teefer Misser

Bungo Stray Dogs Chuuya Nakahara X Gender Neutral Reader Summary: Before Chuuya left, he had fangs. Now he has dents. Beginning Note: Spoilers for Season 5 and Chapter 114.5! (Imma just say, if you have an idea or a request, I encourage you to share! I'd love to receive any requests for the fandoms I write for [In my intro]) Chuuya calls you "Doll" once Word Count: 950 (Fluff/Little crack)

When Chuuya came home one night and told you that he had to leave to Europe for a while. you weren’t happy about the situation. You knew that the world was in danger and Chuuya had to play his part to prevent catastrophe, but that didn’t mean you were content with it. Still, you helped him ready himself, with the contacts and the fangs. Despite the dreadful atmosphere, you found it amusing that he had to look like a vampire. Sure, these types weren’t the sexy ones in fiction, but Chuuya pulled off the look.

Even with the red eyes, you loved his appearance, especially the clothing he was wearing. When he stood at the door, ready to depart to the Port Mafia headquarters for a final, unnecessary briefing, you kissed him goodbye. His lips molded to your own, tongues dancing together, feeling each other thoroughly for the last time until his return. You loved the feeling of his fangs, even though he loathed wearing them. They weren’t too sharp, but if you poked hard enough, it could cause a little spike of delicious pain.

Finally, the two of you separated and bid each other farewell. He left out the door and won’t come back for a while. During that time, your mind wandered to him. You looked forward to seeing him again, hoping he’d still have the fangs for just a tad longer so it could spice up your occasional entanglement. When Fyodor was killed and Chuuya could drop the act, he contacted you with his phone he kept on silent. Apparently, Mori had added glue to keep the fangs on.

While Chuuya thought it stupid and the worst situation, you found an opportunity in it. Guess he really can’t take them off, so you’ll send him to the dentist after you had some fun.

Unfortunately, everything was spiraling downhill, Fyodor wasn’t actually dead, and the new problem would take up a lot of time. You knew Chuuya couldn’t keep the accessory on for the whole time, but there was that slightest hope he could get used to it until he could properly set up an appointment with a dentist.

When he at last returned home, safe and eager to see you again, he pulled you into a kiss just like the one from the time he left. You ran your tongue along his teeth, but instead of feeling extensions of his teeth, you felt the opposite. Why did your tongue go straight, up, straight, and up again? Shouldn’t it either continue in a steady line, or down and away from his teeth?

Feeling the abnormality, you pulled away and pushed his lips up to reveal his teeth. He lightly protested, but allowed you to do so with sagging shoulders. What you found wasn’t exactly what you expected.

“Why are your teeth chipped?” you inquired, but you had an idea as to what happened.

“I uh..” Chuuya scratched his head awkwardly and averted his eyes, “I pulled off the fangs.”

“I know that, but why couldn’t you wait until after you came back? Or at least go to a dentist so they could handle it.”

“I didn’t wanna have to deal with them, so I got them off. ‘S fine, anyways, ‘m not dead.” He closed his eyes and crossed his arms.

You stared at him blankly before taking his wrist and taking him outside to his motorcycle. “Nope, you’re going to a dentist now, whether you like it or not. I’m not going to kiss my significant other if he has teeth missing all because he was too impatient to wait for a professional to handle things.”

“Wha?- Oi! Knock it off! I’m tired, and I doubt they’re even taking in anyone who just walks in without an appointment!” He tried to resist, but relented when he saw that you won’t back down.

“I don’t give a fuck if they’re not doing so, I’m going to ensure you get the treatment you need. Why couldn’t you even wait? Surely, you would’ve been able to get accustomed to the fangs.” You were in front of him on the bike, with his hands lazily around your waist. At least he had taught you how to drive a motorcycle, so now he doesn’t have to exhaust himself further by driving.

Chuuya groaned and rested his forehead on your back. “Not even gonna wear a helmet? Dangerous, Doll.”

“Like you wear one,” you muttered back. This was going to be a long night, but it’s his fault for chipping his teeth. In the back of your mind, you did feel bad that he couldn’t rest after coming back. You hadn’t accelerated yet, still parked, so you turned your head to him. “I’m sorry that you can’t relax after a long mission. We can just drive around and save the dental treatment for another time. I know you’re beyond exhausted.”

He moved his head to rest his chin on your shoulder and press a kiss to your cheek. “I’d love that. ‘M sorry for being such an idio-”

“My apologies for not caring. After this, I’ll prepare a bath for you and get some snacks. Then, we can just cuddle and watch a movie, yeah?” You tilted your head, keeping your eyes on him.

His eyes were closed as he imagined your suggestion, and smiled softly. “Mhm... I just wanna spend time with my love before I have to drown myself in paperwork. ‘S a plan.”

With that, you started the bike and sped along the streets, admiring the city lights. Chuuya may be impulsive, but at least he’s making his choices with the betterment of the world in mind. Some exceptions, though.

[caramel1mochi]

So I love Jollz and joshseki but nobody writes about valorant streamers 😔

I was wondering if you would??

Like ik jollz makes a ton of mom tokes all the time but what if he secretly had like a wife or something?? He's 30 now so he'd probably be married for a couple of years and he randomly says something about his relationship on stream or like reader walks in during a stream by accident not remembering hes streaming?

And joshseki has a girlfriend he met through valorant and they started living together? Like his chat randomly starts noticing pink stuff around his gaming room and stuff (like they share a gaming room) and start getting suspicious?

IDKK I just love them both and I think stories about the two would be so cute. And I think if someone starts writing about the two then maybe more would start as well. I know you're in the middle of an iso series right now but I like your writing because of how good and long they are.

Heya, thanks for the request! And your kind words, got me smiling like an idiot for too long haha‎ ‎  Also so sorry for the delay, literally everything happened when you sent this I am fish and the reckoning cinematic is my water I just CAN'T stop watching  ‎ ‎‎‎‎ Writing about real people is a very new concept for me so I hope I did well on this. Have a good read!‎! ‎ ‎

[ Jollz x F! Reader ] / [ Joshseki x F! Reader ]

Words: 1k each‎ ‎ 

Note: Please don't copy or steal my work and pass it off as your own! If you'd like to use one of my headcanons or something, I'd love it if you tagged or asked.‎ ‎‎ ‎  

。+❤ฺ·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ· +❤·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ·

Jollz!

This morning had been a slow one for Jollz. His routine was the same as any other one. He woke up, washed up, and went to the kitchen to make his morning coffee whilst chatting with you. He had a timer on his phone to specifically announce when he should get to his office to start streaming. But even after it struck and he had arrived to turn on his computer, he didn’t gain any of the energy he normally had every other day.

Moving his mouse felt like a drag, let alone actually focusing on the upcoming game. And the topic that the chat had taken up once people had gathered didn’t exactly help either; people mostly started comparing their morning routines after their previously relaxed greetings spiralled.

‎ 

‘Yo whats ur morning routine?’

‎ 

“Guys, this is gonna be hard to believe, but my morning routine isn’t crazy. It’s ten minutes long.”

‎ 

He tapped his index finger on the mousepad as he read a few responses from the chatters. This drab talk about morning routines was definitely not on his list of ‘entertaining things to talk about’, and it only further exhausted him.

‎ 

“Yeah, no, I’m only playing a couple games today. No idea why I’m so tired, though.”

‎ 

‘only single people have 10 min morning routines’

‎ 

‘facts’

‎ 

A few other people were also quick to agree with this sentiment; all except for the obvious, Jollz, and he couldn’t help but laugh at this exchange with a particularly prideful smile. He sat back and smugly checked out his nails as he spoke,

‎ 

“Trueee. Single people have way too much time on their hands. Glad I'm not one of them.”

‎ 

He knew exactly what he was doing with these words. And almost as if it were on cue, his smile only widened to a grin once he saw the stream of oncoming messages the moment he stopped talking. And he didn’t really need to read anything to know that they were demanding an explanation for such a bold statement.

Now this was the excitement he was used to, he mused.

‎ 

“‘What do you mean by that?’ I’m just saying what we’re all thinking here.”

‎ 

‘Jollz youre speaking in code’

‎ 

“Speaking in code? That’s wild...”

‎ 

The door behind him swung open, and a set of gentle knocks that accompanied them interrupted the entertainment he was deriving from the catastrophe. Luckily, by the sound of the steps he heard earlier, Jollz already knew it was you before he turned around to meet your gaze.

‎ 

“Hey, babe, are you…”

‎ 

He stopped once he noticed the full cup of coffee in your hands, and the lack of steam from the drink was enough to tell him what you didn’t need to say. Jollz had forgotten the coffee he made in the kitchen this morning. Again.

Which also explained why he was so bloody tired, but that’s by the by.

‎ 

“Wait, hold on, listen–”

‎ 

“This is the third time this week.”

‎ 

Jollz sat up with a guilty smile as you approached with his cup, and he couldn’t help but scramble for reasons to defend himself.

‎ 

“Fair point, but…”

‎ 

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I can’t help you if a fly ever happens to drown in this.”

‎ 

Of course you’d say that, he thought. The mere thought of a fly grossed you out, let alone digging one’s corpse out of a drink.

‎ 

“Yeah, so, in all fairness, I actually had something scheduled.”

‎ 

“Today?” 

‎ 

You stopped at his desk and set down the cup in an empty spot on his desk, but there were a multitude of tabs open on one monitor and Valorant proudly displayed on the other. They all seemed to be calling for your attention. You were only vaguely familiar with most of the software that he had open; however, it wasn’t exactly hard to isolate the chat amongst everything. It rapidly moved with messages you couldn’t read from this distance. But the worst part was that you could see your own reflection on the webcam as you stood behind him.

Uh oh.

Your attire, being a casual nightgown, did not meet the standards expected of someone standing in front of a bloody audience. Well, not your standards, anyway. A tinge of red painted your cheeks once you’d finally put two-and-two together.

‎ 

“You didn’t tell me you were streaming today. Am I interrupting?”

‎ 

“Oh yeah, totally. It was intense before you came in. VCT-level gameplay.”

‎ 

You lightly laughed once he pointed to the timer whilst it searched for a game before pulling him close and planting a kiss on his cheek.

‎ 

“I’ll let you handle it. Best of luck, dear.”

‎ 

Cheeky, you mused to yourself as you walked out of the room. But being the guy who always resorted to knifing everyone whenever he could, it made sense for him to be just that.

‎ 

“Thanks babe.” He took a sip shortly after, grimacing at the temperature before he set it down. “Ice cold coffee, my favourite.”

‎ 

That one sip seemed to work in rejuvenating him, however, and he was definitely grateful for that. Only now did he actually take notice of what the flood of messages were actually saying. And once they came down from their shock, they inferred exactly what was going on.

‎ 

‘dear 🥺’

‎ 

‘Girlfriend’

‎ 

‘ya thats his gf alright’

‎ 

Quick on his feet, he prepared another statement sure to stir the pot that was his viewers’ confusion.

‎ 

��Why’s ‘girlfriend’ your first guess? She could be my friend’s mom, for all you know, and they’re just visiting today.”

‎ 

‘That’s not stopping you jollz 💀💀💀’

‎ 

‘YOU CALLED HER BABE’

‎ 

They shortly spammed the words ‘babe’ and ‘thanks babe’ to subtly remind him of how he referred to you earlier.

To put it kindly, this statement was instantaneously shot down by the chatters. If their words weren’t indicative of that, the emotes they typed out alongside their growing surprise definitely made it clear. Besides, it wasn’t that hard to tell, considering you were exactly Jollz’s type, down to the mellow tone of your voice.

‎ 

‘is she actually ur gf tho’

‎ 

“Bro, don’t act confused. I’ve been wearing my wedding ring the whole time; you should’ve seen it by now.”

‎ 

His viewers flooded the chat with demands to be shown this mysterious ring he spoke of. And at that, he held up his hand with faux ignorance to reveal the multitude of rings he wore. Somehow, both this and the ‘clarifying’ statement only further confused the chatters.

Girlfriend, sure, but marriage? They probably would’ve doubted it if they hadn’t seen concrete proof mere minutes ago. Oh, but it technically should’ve been easy for them to infer his relationship status on account of the one secured around his ring finger. Not that it blended in, or anything.

‎ 

“It’s right here,” he extended his ring finger, “get it together, chat.”

‎ 

He teased with a cheeky smile before lifting his cold drink for another sip. If the coffee wasn’t quick enough to energise him, this conversation surely did.

Joshseki!

Josh’s gaming room was quite a minimalistic one. Despite having a notable array of colours that pleasantly complemented each other, they were still muted; and the structure of the furniture he’d picked out was delicately balanced between comfortable and presentable.

All of it fit his calm personality to a tee (when he wasn’t playing Valorant), and was also easy on the eyes. Especially for the viewers.

So during one particularly annoying game, once Josh unknowingly shifted his chair to the right as he spoke to his teammate, an annoying Reyna, one of his viewers’ eyes immediately locked on the hazy pink object that was set on the American sycamore dresser a few feet away. To say the bright pink item stood out despite the distance and the pixelation would be a massive understatement, and the fact that it sat there with no explanation only increased their curiosity to an exponential degree.

The only viewer who actually noticed this decided to type out his question,

‎ 

‘josh whats that behind u’

‎ 

Unfortunately for them, however, he didn’t catch the question amongst the onslaught of similar messages that were flooding the chat referencing the toxic duellist he was currently dealing with.

The game had been going on for nearly two hours, and the twentieth round promptly ended in a loss. Once they respawned and the overtime pop-up box appeared, everyone except for him immediately voted for the game to continue. Only one vote was required for it to end in a draw. He sat back with a sigh and took off his headphones so as to not listen to the demands of his teammates.

This seemingly simple move, however, covered up the pink object behind him.

‎ 

“What did I tell you, chat? This is what happens when I’m not the instalock. I’m drawing; I don’t care.”

‎ 

‘WHATS THAT BEHIND U\’

‎ 

The moment Josh looked towards the chat for a response, they quickly snatched up the opportunity and asked, but their message was drowned out by a union of agreement on their side.

‎ 

“‘Draw?’ Let’s go. See, I knew you guys would come around.”

‎ 

And with that, the game ended. He luckily couldn’t hear anything his teammates were saying since his headphones were off. He shortly grabbed them once they were all disconnected and went to put them on. An off-screen voice came up from the other side of the room before he could, asking a question muffled to the chat.

‎ 

“Yeah, I closed the door.”

‎ 

He responded, and the chat was overwhelmed with ‘who?’ and variations of the simple question. The voice increased in volume once more, presumably in response to his statement, and he looked back with a wide grin.

‎ 

“When’d he get here? Chat, wait, I have to take care of Nogu.”

‎ 

Josh stood up and walked out of the camera’s frame, revealing both the pink object and a baby pink dress splayed out on the couch. If that object and the mysterious voice didn’t cause enough of a fuss, this one absolutely did, and the chat erupted with even more questions despite him not being present.

He grabbed the cat from the other side of the room and left so he could put her outside. And by the time he came back, it had been discovered that the mysterious pink object was lipstick, further increasing their suspicions that there was another person in the room. And to say Josh came back to chaos would be a gross understatement.

He was bombarded with questions the moment he sat down and put his headphones back on. But after about a minute of staring blankly and attempting to decipher them, he managed to catch a repetitive question asked over and over.

‎ 

“‘Is the dress a gift?’ Chat, not every gift should be a Valorant skin. But no, it’s not.”

‎ 

He seemingly mistook their intention behind the question as he queued into another game, much to their frustration, and they responded the only sensible way before he’d move on from the topic.

‎ 

‘WHY IS THERE A DRESS’

‎ 

“It’s for my girlf–”

‎ 

“Josh, he’s still ruining my game!”

‎ 

The same voice spoke loudly from behind him once more. This time, however, it was audible enough and allowed the chat to finally comprehend what was being said. But before any more investigation could occur, a mysterious woman, you, popped up into the frame with the same rascal of a cat that spent the past twenty minutes sleeping on your keyboard and ruining your own game.

‎ 

“You watched me close the door this time!”

‎ 

“Yeah! He probably snuck through the opening.”

‎ 

It sounded plausible enough, what with how flexible the feline was and the considerably large opening just beneath the white door. You set him outside the corridor as Josh followed your movements, pushing Nogu away until he was at a safe distance before slamming the door shut. Then, you walked away, noticing a few seconds later what all of the confusion was about.

‎ 

“Hi chat! That’s my dress.”

‎ 

You pointed at the now-obscured lace dress before disappearing and going back to your setup. Once he turned his chair to face the monitor, he noticed the chaos that ensued in the chat, especially the flow of messages that were too quick for him to keep up with.

‎ 

“You guys heard that? It’s her dress.”

‎ 

The announcer’s voice immediately interrupted his words, and he was launched into the game. But the chat mulled over the design of the dress as Josh aimed to pick Reyna the moment he was allowed to. Despite only seeing it for a few seconds, they noted its formality…

Definitely a date night, huh?

[amaryllis-sagitta]

You might have posts about this already but I was wondering what your take on bringing down the Veil vs keeping it was?

I used to be pro-keep the Veil in Trespasser bc it was unclear what exactly would happen to the other races. But DAV makes it sounds like it'd be demons and Blight doing the damage and like, even with the Veil up it's been a problem? Taking the Veil down might actually be a way to finally resolve the issue? At the same time I get the mythological aspect (for Solavellan) of the Dreadwolf trapping himself + the Herald of Andraste joining the Maker but what about Thedas? And if Solas' lifeforce sustains the Veil and maybe makes it harder for demons to cross and manages to stop the Blight from leaking... what about the trapped spirits? But also Solas is clinging to a culture that has been long dead so keeping the Veil up = him moving on from the past???

Idk rn I haven't done deep enough lore analysis to manage to know where I stand, so I'm curious about your take on it is

This one is a doozy because there are sooo many factors

I'd like to approach this question from several angles:

What is the Veil really and what does it do?

What drives Solas to take it down?

What are the possible consequences of Solas taking it down?

What does the Veilguard do with the questions 1-3?

What is the Veil?

Early Chantry & Tevinter sources (from DAO mostly) claim that the Fade is purely spiritual in nature, and the Veil is a universal, nonspacial boundary between realms. There was a Codex in DAI I think that hinted the Veil is purely an epistemic boundary between states of consciousness. However, the events in DAI disprove these claims since the Inquisitor is taken to the "Raw Fade", a section of the Fade where one can travel physically; thus confirming the Magister Sidereal story about physical traversal into the Fade. Solas recognizes the Raw Fade as a section particularly "close" to the Black City (bearing in mind that the topography of the Fade is warped, so that the Black City is the epicenter seen from every "location" in the Fade).

Following this, it seems that the Veil is an all-encompassing boundary within the world, that separates sections of both the spiritual and the physical world at the same time. A long time ago there was an amazing lore theory that the Veil is like an interaction of wavelengths.

What I write in the following paragraph is my synthetic conjecture from the lore up to Trespasser: the Fade is like an egg (sic), with the Black City being the yolk, the spirit essence being the white, and the Veil being the shell. Solas's intention, as revealed in DATV, was to build a barrier around the Evanuris -- but something very different happened. As a result, it seems that the spirit essence got grabbed and squished around the Black City by that very barrier, creating the weird topology of the modern Fade.

There were many theories concerning the very structure of the world - some claimed the "one world" was vertically aligned between the skies and the earth, there was a thorus theory and non-Euclidean theories... what is sufficient for now is speculation that "when the world was one", the Crossroads and possibly the spirit realm too were placed in the physical sky, and that the Veil closed off a layer of that sky along with the Black City (there was a lot of speculation based on myths and stuff like the Inquisitor in DAI "falling upwards" through the rift to justify this).

It is not entirely clear to me whether Solas foresaw that his move would deprive practically half the world of its spiritual infusion, and as it follows, its "primal magic" and all that resulted from it. He quite likely didn't. The arc including DATV consequently portrays Solas as a character full of catastrophic mistakes and collaterals, as a foil to the Executors teased as masterminds of the keikaku doori.

Until the Magisters Sidereal, something held the Black City contained within itself. Solas reveals in DATV that the Magisters Sidereal breached the prison he made for the Evanuris, and because of that, the Blight contained in the Black City started leaking into the Fade and the physical world.

But there is more to it. Here's another piece that is purely my speculation: the Blight is just one of the ways the Void manifests itself in the world, and the Black City should be primarily considered a place of the Void. In fact, I uphold that the Void is a "productive negative" to the everything that's covered by the allegories of light & earth in Thedosian lore. Another way the "voidening" of the world can be observed, metaphysically speaking, is the deprivation of virtue, and that includes spirits turning into demons. The fact that a powerful Nightmare Demon has its lair in the Raw Fade might prove that whatever is in the Black City has a corrupting influence on the spirits as well - it either attracts demons by virtue of holding a memory of the Magisters Sidereal, or it proactively infuses spirits with evil, so to speak.

If my speculation makes sense, this would be a deeper, hidden pretext to want Fade spirits to disperse further away from the Black City, actually.

So, why does Solas want to take the Veil down? What does he think he will accomplish?

We get several layers of explanation in this matter. In DAI, he sarcastically mentions

"[He has no ideas] Not unless we collapse the Veil and bring the Fade here so I can casually reshape reality."

This jab with the low approval Inquisitor is noticed as foreshadowing, but not as often used when arguing what Solas's true goal is. Commonly, the discourse happens about the post-credit scene and Trespasser, where he puts more emphasis on "his people needing him", on elves losing their magic and immortality.

This is a point of contention in the fandom but personally, I do not entirely agree with a common claim that the sociopolitical layer of it all is his main motivation. Yes, he does look down on the mortals of Thedas and distances himself personally from modern elves. Yes, he needs convincing that post-Veil mortals deserve recognition in their appropriate metaphysical condition. Yes, only a year before DAI he killed/ "tranquilized" his best friend who claimed that mortal elves like Briala deserve a chance. Yes, he goes Farquaad on several occasions, acknowledging that taking the Veil down will likely have many casualties. Personally, I view this partly as a result of Solas's severe dissociation from corporeal existence that results from him regretting having joined the world, his long slumber and his confusion after millennia of absence.

What he really needs from the "un-Veiling" is the return of the primal magic and the Fade spirits "down under". The juxtaposition between him and Elgar'nan serves to show the difference between Elgar'nan as a full-fledged egotistical tyrant with an endless desire for worship and control, and Solas as a deeply opinionated and stubborn idealist who will use manipulation and violence when things don't go the way he thinks they should (or the way Mythal desires...). Despite similarly big egoes and a similar sense of self-righteousness, Solas holds a genuine attachment to some humanitarian ideals that drive him to incite his rebellion, advocate negative freedom and equity, and free slaves also in the post-Veil physical world.

Other than that, the confirmation of the spirit origin theory means that by "his people", Solas means Fade spirits arm in arm with the elvhen who formed bodies. It is confirmed by notes from Vir Dirthara that the two races maintained fraternal relationships after the manifestation of the elvhen.

This, of course, carries catastrophic consequences. As far as Trespasser goes, these are very vaguely hinted; but what is certain, many people will not survive. The phrase he says in Trespasser is

"I will save the elven people. Even if this world must die."

"[...] the return of my people means the end of yours."

In The Dread Wolf Take You, he tells Charter:

"I have no choice. What I am doing will save this world, and those like you -- the elves who still remain -- may even find it better, when it's done." [P. Weekes, The Dread Wolf Take You, Tevinter Nights, Titan Books & BioWare 2020, p. 506]

So, at that point, he believes at least some elves will survive the catastrophe, but they will transform into a different people. As for other races - I don't think he really knows, so he assumes the worst, because every time he meddled with the fabric of reality, things went to absolute shit. He is really misleading with his equivocations here - as demonstrated, he uses "death" literally when it comes to potential casualties, but his intentions seem more aligned with the transitional and transformative metonymy of "death", especially when he speaks about the world at large.

Then, in DATV, he claims what he seeks is "restoration", which has a double meaning too - it's a change towards what had already been, but also -- healing. He repeats the phrase about the Veil being a wound that can't be allowed to prevail because through it, the organism is weakened and exposed to further injury and infection. And the broader context of DATV hints that this threat for Thedas isn't the Blight that came from within the world, but something external, yet unexplored.

In Metaphysics of Thedas, I have thought about what "this world" means in the context of the culminating scene of Tevinter Nights. Allow me to just self-plagiarize:

"The first time Fen'Harel mentions "this world", he means the destruction of the Veil and the post-Veil world order. But the second time, he mentions saving "this world"; he must mean something different. I think that, once we break that equivocation down, then the "world" in the second sentence means greater stakes, "all creation", just as he mentioned when he chastized the participants of the Mortalitasi's ritual. If there is any truth to this warning from Fen'Harel, the current order of the world is on a crash course towards collapse unless a demigod corrects his mistake." [source]

In the context of The Dread Wolf Take You and the secret ending of DATV, it likely has something to do with the Executors and "The Devouring Storm" that the Evanuris also fought. In that full context, taking the Veil down was built up as something Solas views as necessary in order to fend a greater danger off -- perhaps mistakenly, perhaps there was a different way to achieve it (as hinted by Callback from Tevinter Nights). Based on pre-DATV media, there is a way to see a setup for the Inquisitor and Varric to dissuade Solas, or maybe even to agree with his motives to a degree.

Still, the "death of the world" is as radical as it gets, and I firmy believe it starts from the metaphysical order, thought the most igniting and the most emphasized about it is the potential loss of life on the Waking side, and Solas's readiness to accept casualties results from him foreseeing the sheer amount of chaos a catastrophe of this scale will cause, and the upheaval that will follow, rather than fully calculated and deliberate killing. The difference lies in intentions and not necessarily in results, which to many will not be much of an argument. Applied ethics would grasp it through the doctrine of a double effect. The principle goes this way: An action, brought about for a purpose viewed as unequivocally good, has a catastrophic side effect. The said catastrophic effect can sometimes be more permissible if it was "merely foreseen" and not used as a means to an end.

This, I believe, is the way Solas justifies himself: the destruction of the post-Veil world order (so, the deaths, the destruction of infrastructure and societies) is not something he deliberately wants to do in order to restore the spirits and ubiquitous magic to the Waking world. It is something he "merely foresees" as a likely consequence, and what drives him is the preservation of "all creation", possibly.

What also matters is that he brings the Veil down the way he wants, in a controlled manner - which is why the ancient devices from DAI actually strengthened the Veil, and Solas frowned upon a thought of the Wardens killing the remaining Archdemons in their sleeps and thus making the remaining Evanuris expire abruptly - which would make the Veil degrade outside Solas's control and possibly even make the Black City burst open and unleash all the tainted bullshit, that would have destroyed the pre-Veil world had Solas not contained it.

And this is where we arrive to the most confusing part:

What does DATV do with that story arc?

Well, Veilguard unambiguously links Solas's plan with "drowning the world in demons" and going full Farquaad on the population of Thedas, and Rook gets multiple opportunities to either rant about how fake he is when he presents his perspective, or to psychoanalyze Solas with an intention of outsmarting or defeating him in the end. Throughout the game, we can see Fade rifts opening again everywhere, albeit they only seem to serve game mechanics, and they... seal themselves as soon as the enemy waves expire? The factor of gradual degradation that was hinted in the context of the Veil before (even when we activated the blasted Veil strengthening orbs, one of whom even Lucanis & Illario found during The Wigmaker Job) isn't showed very clearly here imo -- neither has it transformed into rapid degradation that would change the situation significantly.

Then, no matter what ending we choose, he ends up with the Veil bound to his lifeforce, and apparently also fully healed because... he isn't tainted? Because the Evanuris are out of the picture, so the taint is weaker and less aggressive now and nature is healing? I cannot lie, this conclusion sounds like a plot hole resulting from the need to funnel down the plot by its end. The nuance of the Veil situation might have been written off becuse it legitimately warranted a branching choice that, perhaps, sounded too Mass Effect 3: Defeat Solas and Keep the Veil Up, informed by DATV default state, Cooperate with Solas and Take the Veil Down, or Find a Middle Ground that acknowledges both sides and and make Solas deliver on his multiple promises to "minimize the damage".

Personally, I wish we had seen the Veil go down in the end, even as a branching scenario -- partly because it would have been a bold move, partly because it was teased in tidbits like Kordillus Drakon's prophecy of the Maker's return and Sandal's moment of prophecy from DA 2. It sounded like a worthy culmination to this series' apocalyptic themes, and a more organically tragic way to wrap up that part of the setting and leave a nearly clean slate for a ton of new worldbuilding.

[titleleaf]

fic writer self-recs

I got tagged on this by Mardia!

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers.

Took me ages to get around to this because I've been flirting with danger aka writing for fic exchanges again but the thing I love more than writing is talking about shit I've already written, so. Five self-recs of my own work! I'm trying to avoid my usual Greatest Hits-type stuff here and talk about stuff that has an especially affectionate place in my heart.

give you what you need - Stranger Things, Eddie Munson/Jim Hopper/OMC + Eddie Munson/Steve Harrington 

I love writing for kink memes so much, you guys. This is a piece of Stranger Things smut where Steve is the unwilling voyeur to Eddie Munson getting spitroasted by bad men in positions of authority, one of whom is dad bod Chief Hopper, and Steve is super horny and super emotionally confused about it, and Eddie is super emotionally confused and semi horny about it, and then they go watch Highlander in the theater together. I believe in porn conceits played for drama and I also believe in inventing a bad man to DP the other side of your blorbo. 

abracadabra, here's the keys to the kingdom - The Stand, Randall Flagg/Larry Underwood

Writing Randall Flagg doing very bad things to people is my life's joy, and I had a lot of fun writing him doing very bad things to Larry Underwood during the course of that hopped-up coke-crazed house party that leaves him so catastrophically in debt to other bad men. It's really fun to play in Stephen King's sandbox, always, and to unravel some of this novel's threads, but I keep writing Randall Flagg using magic to fuck with people. If I'm being really declarative and bold, I'd say I put all the gross sex stuff in here to remix and re-examine the highly gendered sexual horror around Flagg's cold cold snaky dick, but I also was just not really there for the cold dick at the time. Maybe I will be in the future.

No Shortage Of Blood-verse - Whiplash (2014), Fletcher/Neiman

Fletcher/Neiman Gone Girl AU, my beloved. Is this my "best-written" fic? Probably not. Is it the fic that has given me so fucking much joy? Sure is! 

To The Skies Only - Ravenous (1999), Boyd/Ives

Cold-weather cannibal domesticity with a really narsty bit of flesh-consumption and playing with the canonical healing factor that comes with the film's depiction of cannibalism as almost a form of vampirism. 

oh but jesus was a crossmaker - Cape Fear (1991), Max Cady/Danielle Bowden

This film is exactly the kind of profoundly flawed specimen that gets my brain's wheels turning, and I had a wonderful time writing for it and exploring one of the elements that's the most odd and engaging, namely the deeply fucked villain/heroine dynamic between the wildly sleazy, undeniably dangerous antagonist (by far the most memorable aspect of the film) and the troubled teenage daughter of the nominal MC who hankers to act out but gets way more than she bargained for. I love love love a disgusting crime road trip and I had a lot of fun writing this one. 

*

In turn I would like to tag @forthegothicheroine @marypsue @shredsandpatches @jouissants and: youuuuu, the ficauthor reading this.

[crimeronan]

hi I saw you posting about the silt verses. it sounds interesting so I googled it but I'd like to hear what You have to say about it!!

(I'd also like to ask if it has any emphasis on bug-related horror bc that's a huge no from me, but if it doesn't I think I'll take a listen)

oh lord i have So Much to say about it. asking me what i have to say about the silt verses is like asking me what i have to say about call down the hawk or the owl house, like. it's a piece of media that is so immaculately conceived and well-executed that i can meta about Literally Every Single Line. if you've followed me for a while you probably know that i have high standards for horror media bc it's my most-consumed comfort genre; the silt verses is my fave piece of horror media Of All Time.

as for bugs, they don't play a huge role in the overarching story, but i do FOR SURE remember some imagery about parasites, insects, and people being transformed into bug-like creatures. so i'd look up episode warnings prior to consuming it, i can't remember off the top of my head which episodes specifically involve that.

the silt verses is, on the surface, a typical horror story about another world where gods are created through belief & fed through sacrifice. different gods have attracted cult followings, some gods are outlawed, some are not. it's stuff you've probably seen before if you're an avid supernatural horror fan.

however the writers then take the time to do absolutely Vicious and Scathing social commentary about pretty much every leftist topic you can think of. cult abuse, late-stage capitalism, corporate "we're all a family" speak, war, fascism, the creation of Unpersons with unhoused and mentally ill populations, prison violence, police violence, copaganda, generational trauma, environmental catastrophe, rural vs city mindsets and the political manipulation behind them..... Every Single Plot Point and piece of imagery serves a social commentary purpose. every single god and political movement is a transparent metaphor or allegory for our own world.

but what really keeps me coming back to it are the character arcs. from a horror writer's perspective, i can see exactly how carefully those arcs were sketched and plotted out. each of the narrators is dynamic and goes through a huge amount of character development -- positive for some, Horrifically Negative for others. characters are frequently caught between a rock and a hard place, forced to choose between two things they've always wanted...... and they also frequently choose Wrong.

and then they have to live with the consequences of those choices.

the protags are all messy and flawed and complicated, the antags are all messy and grounded and Very Real, and the relationships between people grow in organic ways that make me go MMM... before falling apart in equally organic ways. if you've ever enjoyed the same kind of desperate codependent and messy relationships that i most often write, HOO BOY you will have a good time with this podcast.

and if you like stories about people who are Genuinely Trying Their Best In The Face Of Impossible Circumstances, you'll ALSO get a lot of mileage out of this. it's a show where people make a lot of terrible decisions but also, people care So So So So So Fucking Much. really hits that sweet spot between nihilistic "everyone sucks" media and saccharine "everyone is always good at heart, all the time" media.

it also features some of the most stunning voice acting i've ever heard, not just in podcasts but in any media, ever. méabh de brún, b. narr, jimmie yamaguchi, and lucille valentine in particular all fucking KILL IT. like DAMN

and i can wholeheartedly recommend it without adding this, but if it's important to you: like 98% of the characters are queer. lots of trans cast members, lots of gay relationships, ace rep, los jibbities who get to be just as Fucking Terrible and embarrassing and hopeless as the characters in my fave White Man (TM) tv shows. u know how it is. i want queer people who are shitty bitches, always. and the silt verses DELIVERS

it's just. really good. i realize that this doesn't even get into the intricacies of who the characters are and what they want and what happens, bc like i said, i can talk about this show for a novel's length of meta. but these are the broad strokes of what has me in love with the narrative. it's So Good.

[akaiuchiha]

You know, when you can't find exactly what you are looking for while searching for fanfictions and you just go "Fine, I'll do it myself"?

Well, I do it, with my OC's AND fanfictions hahahaha.

Sometimes I crave for something that I cannot find, like, one day I was searching platonic fanfictions between Brook and Sanji and it is sooo hard to find some that are finished and not...well, not ship and all.

Now, it's the same for genshin. I have played the archon quest and Neuvillette's story quest, I loved both, really they were amazing.

I don't regret pulling for Neuvillette (and I got his weapon, lucky me) but now?? After everything? My brain just won't stop thinking about the next part (stop reading if you haven't done the archon quest, spoilers are coming) and of different "what if" that could happen in the next version. Like, what if Furina wasn't only one person, that she's not the real hydro archon after everything Arlecchino told us and, I know many like Furine but I don't, she's not even able to tell us what her emergency plans are in case of a catastrophe. Right now I have more faith in Arlecchino, Neuvillette, Wrio (I have still now idea on how to write it by myself), Lyney, Lynette, Freminet, Clorinde, EVERYONE BUT Furina. She can't take responsibility when things go South and it's driving me almosy crazy.

Anyway, I also think about everything that could happen to Neuvillette. Like, what if he's the only hope and he sacrifices himself in order to save everyone? What if Wrio do the same because this guy has more solutions than the archon herself and that's actuelly insane (he is building a SHIP to save people, he is holding the seal of the primordial sea, he is the one holding the front line in this mess and he does it alone most of the time).

And don't get me started with Childe. Hell, that man is not even in my top 5 but I'd do anything if it means saving him right now. I know when a character is a good one, and Childe certainly is. What the hell is he doing in the primordial sea?! What was that giant thing he saw? To me it looked like a dragon, its shape was similar to Dvalin's if I remember well. And I don't care, I'm not lettong Childe die. He's not even guilty for what he was accused! Sure, he is a criminal and clearly not the kindest person here, but will he ever kidnapp people, hurt children?? That man straight up lied to his little brother in order to protect his innocence and the image he has of his big brother, I can't believe he would do that.

I can't even tell you how clearly I can see the pictures of what I've been thinking about since I finished the archon quest. It's so vivid, and I see Neuvillette standing up, tall and proud in front of a massive wave, taller, wider and stronger than the one in the forteress. He cannot do it alone with his actual power and then, Clorinde, Wrio, people who can fight join him and face the wave and that's just... Maybe I was influenced by Dressrosa Arc by a lot because everyone working, fighting together is just so wholesome and powerfull that I need to see it happen in genshin.

Well, than you for reading all of this. Don't hesitate to share with me what you've been thinking about the quest!

[crusherthedoctor]

1, 2, 7 and 12 for Sonic!

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

Used to not like him very much, in spite of his good qualities, because of how much he annoyed me with his usually not-that-funny snark, and how said snark would often cause fans to think that somehow translates to Eggman being a harmless joke. And how fans tend to let him get away with things that they'd crucify any other character for because main character bias. And because as long as his portrayal is considered top tier, then it's suddenly no big deal if the rest of the cast is treated like an afterthought at best that only exists to make him look good. I still stand by the opinion that Black Knight fell into that trap despite its otherwise solid portrayal of Sonic, and Frontiers has sadly followed suit... with a not quite as solid Sonic.

Nowadays... he's still not exactly one of my absolute favourites, because all of that still rings true to this day, and beside that, there are simply a ton of other characters in the series that I prefer. (Eggman, Tails, Rouge, Tikal, Blaze, Trip, Vector... Gamma... Omega... the Heavies... Luppy Luppy Man... Moneybags...). But after IDW turned him into Mr. Principles, and Prime turned him into Mr. Funny Penis Man, on top of how other adaptations like SatAM and Archie dropped the ball with him, AND combined with how often fans go one extreme or the other with him and choose to misinterpret him as either a stereotypical superhero or the Punisher... it's easier to appreciate the unique depth and perspective that Game Sonic has.

Note that I always knew the nuance was there. I was never blind to it, and I always gave credit where I felt it was due, like the ending to Secret Rings. It's just easier to do so when the amount of portrayals that catastrophically miss the point have gone into overdrive.

Getting used to writing for him in my fanfic material has also helped me gel with him a bit more (not in a Flynn/Stanley way: I've been very adament on keeping him in-character to the best of my ability, even with the addition of you-know-what involving you-know-which-horsie). I also softened up on him because of how much I now associate him with you. :>

One more thing: I realise that most of my aforementioned issues came down to the fandom rather than Sonic himself. These days, I try my best to separate annoying fan hijinks with the character unless I already hate them on their own merits (Surge and Kit), or said hijinks are unavoidably linked to the reason for my beef with them and thus it can't be put aside so easily. Like the Freedom Fighters being overrated as all hell when they weren't all that and spent a lot of time being dicks, or Sage receiving so much praise for """fleshing Eggman out""" and depth she arguably doesn't have, or my currently soured feelings on Amy due to bias and double standards surrounding her less flattering moments VS that of other characters.

2. Favourite canon thing about this character?

His compassion.

No, not that gaslighting and lecturing with 30 paragraphs bullshit. Game Sonic's compassion. Real compassion.

He might not always know what to say, or how to say it, but he always tries his best with someone as long as they're not an irredeemable villain (unless they've already been defeated and can be potentially reasoned with afterwards, like with Merlina). For all the praise given to him for this, I'd argue it's still one of his most underrated traits, since so many fans think that his somewhat selfish love for adventure and enjoying the thrills mean that he doesn't take saving lives or the wellbeing of others seriously, like it's all just a game to him and nothing more... Meanwhile, Eggman is the one portrayed as understanding and compassionate in fanworks. How the hell does that work.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

In Sonic's case, I can't think of much specific other than... keeping him in-character, due to how it doesn't happen often, although you could say that about any of the cast under the average fandom pen. I appreciate it when fans truly understand him, and know what they're talking about with him. Now if only there was someone I knew who fit that description... some kind of Sonic Encyclopedia, if you will... ;P

I guess if it counts, I do like it when him and Tails are portrayed as the unbreakable bond that they are in canon, but ONLY if Tails is treated with equal respect and agency. Lot of fans like to overly infantilize him so that Sonic can take care of him, which implies they only see Tails as a useful tool and not a character in his own right.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Here's a few. I'll number them (in no particular order) since bullet points always group everything together with no spacing when I use them, which annoys me every time lol.

1. Since he's somewhat of a nomad, Tails' home is the closest thing he has to one.

2. Unless he absolutely has to sleep it off, Sonic tries not to let his hayfever disrupt his morning run. In Green Hill, this usually results in him sneezing every ten seconds.

3. After both Storybook incidents, Sonic would eagerly tell Tails about what he experienced in the Arabian Nights and the Grand Kingdom. Tails, of course, didn't question any of it.

4. Despite their differences, he's proud of Shadow for being able to move on from his past, and become a hero in his own right. He doesn't say it out loud because he knows Shadow would brush it off in his typical Shadow way, and because he knows he doesn't really need to hear it anyway.

5. One time, Sonic mocked Zavok by calling him Bowser. Zavok did not get the joke.

6. Nowadays, Sonic and Rouge get on surprisingly well, as they have more in common than one would expect. Like getting on Knuckles' nerves on occasion, for example.

7. Much like how Amy is her big sister in spirit, Cream considers Sonic a big brother figure.

8. Sonic finds it rather insulting when someone assumes running fast is all he cares about. After all, he has various established hobbies like anyone else, such as reading.

9. He vividly remembers every single place he's been to, no matter how long or how brief he was there. Ironically for someone who doesn't look back, he reminisces on where he's explored with fondness.

10. This is a concept I'm exploring with Stellar, so I'll try not to spoil too much, but as much as Sonic enjoys fighting Eggman despite not treating him lightly (and usually making no effort to save him from situations that should have killed him), he wonders with the escalation of the doctor's plans and ambitions just how long things will last before he has to take him down permanently. Let's just say that certain events in Stellar give Sonic a harsh reminder that at the end of the day, Eggman is not any better than Black Doom, Mephiles, Erazor, etc.

11. The Emerald Coast comic where he reacts poorly to IDW Sonic is canon.

[astriiformes]

3, 5, 29

3 - What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Oh that's HARD. I feel like I have different favorites for different reasons. Like, Stemma Codicum is probably my best-written fic, Several Witches Are Typing is my most popular (and with that, got art drawn for it, which was amazing), Future Boy is one of the most personal...

I think if you told me I could only pick one, I'd probably go with Stemma Codicum, because I'm still really proud of it and managed to do some very creative things with it. Also, I wrote it for a tiny fandom, so everything is relative, but it's the third most kudos'd fic in the Pentiment tag, which feels like an accomplishment!

(That said, there is a very real chance that Future Boy--or the sequel may win out once I've finished them. They're just such deeply personal stories, and I feel decent about the writing in both thus far, too. Apparently I can only write my best stuff for tiny fandoms.)

5 - What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

Hmm... trying to think of something for this that isn't just "I had a lot of ideas when I was in [x] fandom, but I'm not anymore," partially because there are so many of those, I wouldn't know how to choose.

I still think the idea I had ages ago for a Pentiment/Knives Out crossover fic where 16th century!Benoit Blanc helps Magdalene try to solve her father's murder is really funny, but probably not in my personal fic-writing wheelhouse. I just. Listen. She's an overwhelmed young woman who had someone close to her mysteriously become the victim of a murderous attack. She's the perfect candidate for the Benoit Blanc mystery protagonist treatment. Not to mention I think watching him try to unravel the layers of conspiracy going on in Tassing would be hilarious. Alas, just not the right story for me.

An alternate candidate, for my current special interest: Every time I get big BttF feelings, I contemplate a Pacific Rim AU, because Doc and Marty are the most drift compatible pair ever, and every time, I fail to come up with an actual plot. I think it is doomed to be a vibes-only story idea, but man if I don't still love it.

29 - Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

Here's a little snippet of writing that I cut from the second chapter of Future Boy -- with good reason, I think, and totally unpolished as a result, but it might be interesting to folks all the same!

He couldn’t dwell on it too much of course. Time might wait for no man, but it sure as hell didn’t speed up for one, either. And as a man waiting on time, he couldn’t afford to be idle. “You don’t want to go living in the past, you know,” he said to Copernicus one day, while working on a miniature explosive device he could use to open dog food cans. Sure, it didn’t do much -- or anything -- towards building the time machine, but that was a long term project. He had to get his kicks somehow in the meantime. “It’s a surefire way to end up stagnating in the present! And that doesn’t get you to the future at all!” Strictly chronologically speaking, it was an erroneous statement, but the sentiment stood. If he wasted all his mental energy on pseudoscientific frivolities -- like trying to ascribe some kind of significance to every mention of Marty’s family he came across -- it would be a lot easier to get frustrated with the speed time actually moved at and thus, more catastrophically, with his project. He wanted to have a working time machine, wanted to have the teen as his friend, and wanted to be done with all this damn waiting. Which was exactly why he couldn’t think about it all the time. The whole time machine business was a delicate balance, really, that his own personal cocktail of occasional laser-focus mixed with bouts of intense distractability worked well for. Spend a day on the time machine. Spend three on a remote-controlled toaster. Spend another on the time machine. Get distracted and look up when refrigeration was invented in the encylopedia. Blow up the toaster. Spend an entire week focused on the time machine. Spend a day regretting it because he’d been forgetting to sleep. Repeat.  An inelegant system, maybe, but he was still making progress.

[aranarumei]

hi kiri is it cheating to give you both 15 and 19 for all works you feel you could answer this about . for the ask game

ask me questions from this list about my writing!

“all works” i have an insane amount of wips I could probably “feel” I could answer this about. will restrict myself to three main ones on account of choosing deliberate and practiced restraint. that’s still an Amount tho so under the cut as usual

15. in what ways are you challenging yourself with [project], and is there anything specific you want to come out of the work having improved skills in? on the other hand, which aspects are fully in your comfort zone?

projects, huh… let’s start with the sickfic I’m working on, because that’s the easiest. when I wrote the anomalous agate, that was a challenge in many ways: I hadn’t seriously written first person in years, and I was also trying to find a bridge between my style of writing, while also trying to emulate the general feeling of how the case files of jeweler richard is narrated. these days, I feel pretty satisfied with whatever kind of middle ground I achieved… I only regret that seigi doesn’t call richard some version of beautiful with nearly enough frequency as he does in canon.

this time around, the first person of it all is pretty comfortable for me, and I feel like I’m more comfortable with the fact that my narration doesn’t sound exactly like the novels. what I’m challenging myself with is… I’m pretty good at bashing out a solitary scene, but my completion rate for fics, and writing in general, is like… distressing. You don’t realize how untrained you are in terms of actually chaining together events and concluding things, until you realize that you’ve finished your first multichaptered fic in 2024. to be clear, I would say I’ve been writing seriously as a hobby for a bit over 10 years at this point. I also have not really written a sickfic before. so, even though this fic is shorter than the other two projects, it’s still a bit of a challenge for me to string together a chain of events that will lead into a satisfying conclusion. I also find that sickness is a thing that’s hard to describe in a way that doesn’t get stale.

nonetheless, I’m comfortable with a lot of this—I feel like I get both seigi and richard well enough to execute this, I actually did outline a chain of events, so I know where it starts and where it ends. I know the kind of themes I’m working with, and what I want to say within this fic. and I think I’m pretty damn good at creating an aura of tenderness and intimacy, which feels like a big sickfic thing. worst comes to worst, the first scene can stand on it’s own, so I’ll just post that if I really can’t write the rest.

outcome-wise, I'd like to just get this fic to a state where I can publish it and reread it happily. then I can finally read the next volume of the case files of jeweler richard lol

for cross-examination, my challenge is finishing the damn thing. that’ll be a theme for literally everything. I’m so bad at it, it’s catastrophic. I have an outline for the third chapter. I’ve had that outline for a year. I just can’t write it, somehow. it’s also written in present tense… I used to write in past tense, and then did present tense for a long time, and then I switched back into past tense, and this now means that I can have trouble sticking to a specific tense sometimes. so an issue is whenever I return to this fic, I have to try to get myself back into the swing of writing present tense.

other challenges… I kind of feel like I wrote this fic without really investigating the characters? like, I know them well enough, and I don’t think anything is necessarily wrong about my characterization, but I wasn’t building in-depth profiles about them in the way that I do with some characters now. really the toughest part of this fic is returning to something I feel like should have been completed a long time ago… I still have affection towards the concept, and the fact that there’s a full 3k written of the final chapter means I am dedicated to finishing it.

this comes up with the last fic, too, but this fic also has me have to outline progression in a relationship, from like… apollo and klavier at the end of aa4, into a place where they can actually be dating, and that took a bit of planning at first. it’s hard to find the line of how to pace things in a way where the growth feels real, and it feels like they get together naturally. there’s kind of two definitions of slow burn to me: one where they want each other desperately and the fic is just kind of edging that tension until it breaks, and one where it’s a gradual development and build up of feelings. I’m good with the first one, where there’s already a level of importance each person affords the other, and just no confession, but the latter is a bit harder. this fic acts as a kind of bridge between both, to me—apollo and klavier find each other quite meaningful, even at the start, but they aren’t really friends, and that’s what has to change.

as for what’s in my comfort zone… it’s a very peaceful and kind of gentle tone that the whole fic takes. I’ve been told I’m quite good at maintaining that kind of feeling, where it’s not like it’s saccharinely sweet, but nothing is particularly full of melodrama.

outcome-wise, I want to have it published and done so it doesn't haunt me. there's wips i feel more comfortable leaving behind (i'm just not that person anymore, it feels too flawed to fix) but this is not one of them. and I get out of it another longfic completed, which hopefully trains my skills of like... progression and development.

now, for my jiang cheng fic project (wip title is just aromanticism bc it makes me smile), which I talk about and have complained about for forever… I’ve been working on this fic for so long it’s like… what am I not doing with this fic? seriously, this idea originated in 2021, and like… I work on it on and off, sure, so it’s not like continuous work, but at the very least it’s occupied a good deal of my mind for the last year. I’ve had to rewrite so damn much of it, too…

like cross-examination, this fic tests my ability to write and complete longfic—that meaning, can I string together coherent themes across a large number of scenes? can relationships develop and progress naturally? it centers on jiang cheng and hua cheng, and I’ve tasked myself with taking two strangers into the realm of deep, important friendship. and I want to do all of that while addressing a lot of different resentments that I think jiang cheng feels, and addressing the idea of resentment in general… the value I see in it, and the things I feel that aren’t so great.

It’s very tough because I also haven’t written a fic for the mdzs fandom, well… ever, and I read it the one time like, back in early 2019, and I’ve seen maybe 10 episodes of the show. I think a lot of times, I get too in my head about how my fic interacts with or differs from common sentiments about the characters I’m writing, which is why I don’t read fic for this fandom or interact with that much content nowadays. It’s a really tough fic because I want to do a lot with it, and despite the fact that I’ve had to rewrite a bunch of scenes and scrap some of them entirely (like, at least a good 10k of it’s been deleted… I couldn’t give an exact count as I don’t save that stuff), I can feel myself improving.

The narration for this fic is markedly different—there’s a certain amount of formality/poise I try to imbue the writing with. and I’m trying to see if I can associate certain vibes/descriptors with specific characters, though I haven’t quite worked on that yet. I also push myself into leaving things to be more ambiguous… to let characters be awkward and uncomfortable, and in this case, to write outright conflict. I rarely do this—my fics usually work on tension, but don’t escalate into actual fights. this does. there’s also a lot of worldbuilding involved… I’ve made 4 OCs just for this fic, and not all of them are that important, but there’s just… so much backstory and stuff that I’ve developed and don’t know if it will actually make it into the fic. But it makes everything feel richer, and I’m glad for it.

so, if i had to sum up my challenges, it's probably that it takes quite a bit of detailing and hard work, and I'm not used to sticking through a project so demanding. I think because the fic requires so much, it's also something that needs me to be fully and totally confident in what I'm presenting, and that's something I'm struggling with.

as for what is in my comfort zone, I suppose that even though the description style I’m going with is new, it’s not too demanding, and I always feel comfortable when I write hua cheng. Unlike jiang cheng, who I constantly am debating with myself about (is he canon-accurate? am I projecting too hard? am I representing him as too much of a good guy? does that matter?), hua cheng is a character where I’m like, “nah, I like my interpretation of him fine,” and I just have such a blast writing his dialogue.

outcome-wise, when this fic is published, I want to be proud of the work i did on, again, the progression and development of the themes and character relationships, and I also want to publish it with the intent of kind of never writing an mdzs fic again. I'll get out most, if not all of my feelings about this guy, and then i can just have that to point to.

19. what text/message have you sent about [project] which is most unhinged or incomprehensible out of context?

genuinely i dont send that many unhinged messages. like... i feel like i tend to explain my irritations pretty dryly, and also some of these projects are over years so i dont really have like. a collection of texts. the ones i have saved are usually a long series of texts where i hash out developments, because i need those for reference. so, nothing unhinged, but i thought this one was fun:

and here's a good display of what my texts actually look like:

it's very... rubber duck debugging? that's usually what i do when texting about my writing. i complain a lot and then have to explain what's so hard for me to do and i figure it out that way. that usually helps with outlining. with actual writing though.... thats a motivation / time management problem. i suck at those

edit: literally day i post this ask i get this text exchange:

[himbogiants]

Part of your world: part 2

Part 1

I should really be studying omfg- but I just needed to write! Maybe exam anxiety is the cure for writers block? Nevertheless, enjoy!

Word count: 5665

The miniscule girl approached the camera as her friend left and sat down in front of it. Testing the waters she tapped it, screaming away incase anything happened. Definitely the bold type, for all  this borrower knew this thing could've been a trap- and it sort of was, just not intended to capture her.

She reflected their own astonishment, only hers was for an object rather than a tiny being that very much defied the laws of physics and nature. Her friend rejoined her, asking what it could be. He seemed far more cautious. He must've thought it was a trap. This 'Riven' spoke of traps earlier when they had sat down on the ledge (a detail fracturing Theos mind alone, that a fall from that height could kill them). They must have known of the rat traps then. He'd have Henry remove the death devices as soon as this was over.

Which didn't take long. After that he insisted on leaving, which 'Daphne' wasn't all too happy about.

Only he promised to return.

Tonight.

The whole way back to the wall she didn't take her eyes off the camera, before slipping in behind a loose tile and disappearing from their world.

Theo paused the footage, knowing from his rewatches that those little beings didn't make a reappearance.

He turned to the group, whose expression echoed his own as he first laid eyes on the duo.

"This is crazy" Thomas whispered- almost as if he feared talking too loud would do something bad.

"Indeed..I, I apologise Theo. It may not have been ghosts but this. I'm not quite sure what to make of this." Henry spoke with an expressionless face, but Theo knew on the inside he was screaming internally, something he was far too  collected to ever display in front of his friends.

Sadies face suddenly contorted into one of concern "Theo- does anybody else know about this?"

This lulled Theo from his happiness as he regarded her.

"Um no why?"

Sadie seemed to sigh in relief

"Good. Keep it that way. It's clear these guys don't wanna be found. It could be downright catastrophic if the wrong people got their hands on this footage-"

Theo interupted sheepishly

"We- I mean well of course I agree but..but we are gonna meet them right? I mean this..this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, we have to sieze it now! This is like something from a campaign!"

Everyone's features flattened either with anger or dismay. Thomas, Sadie and Henry looked angry, Maisey and Theo looked dismayed.

"Dude! What?"

"Your suggesting we capture them?"

"No Theo! We'd give 'em a heart attack we need to leave them be. We're like a hundred times bigger than them"

Theo turned bashful instantly and began to defend himself

"No no! I don't wanna capture them! I'd never do that! O-or scare the little guys..I just want to talk to them! Can you guys seriously tell me with absolute certainty you don't want to do the same?!"

Everyone went quiet at that, almost in some sort of shame. It was fairly obvious that they all shared the passion, but didn't feel like voicing it.

Maisey sighed, flexing her fingers as she tried to grasp an idea of how to structure her words

"I understand Theo, but if that footage was any recognition, they don't exactly like humans- well one of them doesn't anyways. The girl might be..dexterous, but her friend isn't. If they wanted to be found then they would've made themselves known."

Everyone seemingly agreed to this brushing their own selfish desires aside- all except Theo who was exasperated.

"I wouldn't hurt them Maisey!- or intend to scare them!" He looked down, away from his group feeling to embarrassed to meet their gazes.

Until Henry chipped in.

"Well..perhaps communication isn't a terrible idea."

Everyone's eyes snapped to Henry, almost in surprise that the most logical of the bunch was saying such things. This was uncanny territory for them, Henry wasn't particularly one to agree with Theo on brash ideals.

"These two are interesting to say the least, I too would like the chance to converse with them. But if we are to do such a thing it must be in a way that is absolutely safe for them. And more importantly doesn't give them a heart attack- especially since we don't know their anatomy."

Thomas nodded carefully, as he processed the information

"We also need to set up some ground rules. Us five are the only ones who know of this, yes? It stays that way. Nobody else can know, for their safety."

Theo found his smile again, as he watched his friends slowly but surely form a plan.

Henry grasped his beverage once more, scanning each of his friends, but his eyes for the most part lingered on Theo.

"For now however I propose we simply watch through the cameras. More information could be beneficial to our venture."

Sadie piped in with a glance to Thomas, as if echoing his rules

"This doesn't leave this group. Or even this house. I wouldn't even trust discussing this on campus."

Evergone seemed to nod in unison and Theo sat down by the sofa with child like wonder pooling in his gaze. This was actually gonna happen. He pinched his arm sharp, ensuring this wasn't some dream or hallucination. But sure enough this was reality, and he couldn't be happier.

He turned to Henry, whose stoic expression was beginning to seem uncanny for the situation.

"Okay then! But before any of that, we gotta remove those rat traps. I..I don't even want to think about what one of those could do to a..a borrower."

Henry's eyes widened ever so slightly. In his sense of disbelief he'd almost disregarded those all together, he rose to his feet heading for the kitchen, only to pause before hand "of course. For now, everyone continue as normal. They only come at night after all. Now, anyone want tea or coffee? I assume we're divising our plan now, and we should take time with this."

Daphne never did like mornings in the colony. Namely for her 'responsibilities'. Oh how she loathed them. Her father, so high and mighty, refused her constant requests to borrow, but 'scouting' was perfectly fine. Deep down she knew he was just concerned. She'd lost her mother at a very young age- not to anything human related that is. No, it had been illness. Who would've guessed that living off findings and the land would mean terrible health care? Not the colony anyways, that was sure. Humans had that all figured out. She'd even heard they had magical properties called 'pills' that healed you when sick! How on Earth humans conquered the magnitude of magic She'd never know- but she would do just about anything to find out.

She supposed that was why besides holding him dear as a treasured friend, she was beyond thankful for Riven. Without him, Daphne was almost absolute that she'd make reckless decision after reckless decision, or perhaps..be dead.

Riven was the only one who ever listened. While he may not share her obsession, he respected it and her in his own way and that was all she could ask for. Though his respect only went so far, he would not condone any sort of contact with the humans. He was her voice of reason most of the time always having some sort of evidence as to why she shouldn't reveal herself, though it did kill her when he refused at leaving notes.

This mornings patrol was uneventful as usual. Her father always had her positioned in the safest spots after all. Not only that but due to his apparent dislike for her dearest friend, when he had the time, he ensured she was not stationed with Riven- so naturally the patrol dragged by excruciatingly slow. But all things come to an end at some point and after a sluggish morning it was time for the change over and she was off duty. Immediately she hurried to the rotted tree near the border of their hidden haven where leaning back against the bark Riven was waiting for her.

His lips quirked into a knowing smile and he tilted his head

"Long day?"

She let out a combination between a groan sigh and a dry laugh, coming to his side as the pair began walking

"You have no idea. I was stuck with Fergus."

Rivens laughter bounced off the trees around them and in a teasing manner he raised a brow

"Oh really? And what's so wrong with poor Fergus?"

She turned to face him with a deadpanned expression and upon seeing his poor attempts at hiding a smirk she thumped him lightly in the arm, tugging his lips upward

"You're the worst." She chuckled

He furrowed his brow in mock offense

"Truly? Worse than Fergus?"

Her soft smile played at her features as she pondered at the ground

"No, I suppose not."

The pair came to a stop just before the secluded pathway and she clapped her hands

"OK. So here's the plan. I'm gonna hurry in and grab my stuff, you go get yours. You know the drill by now, don't be seen."

Riven scoffed with a mumble to follow

"Funny how you're more concerned about our own people seeing you than humans Daph."

Daphne rolled her eyes

"Well, yes, of course! If our own people knew what we get up to they'd probably kill us"

"Correction, you're father would kill us. Or in reality, worst case-"

"I know what you're gonna say so don't. Fathers..cold. But he'd never resort to that. Even if he isn't very fond of you. I'm his daughter, and you're my friend. I'd never let it happen"

"Never let what happen?"

The pair swiftly spun around to see Barney behind them. Both their faces dropped, into disgust and annoyance. Fathers dearest protégé Barney.

Barney was a nasty piece of work. Brutish. Rude. Exactly why he was a guard. Daphne despised him. Her father adored him. He was everything he had wanted in a child, and despite never saying it out loud- his face gave it away.

Daphne could try and excuse Barney's attitude, but how he treated Riven infuriated her. He was always so horrid to her dear friend- which is something her father respected no doubt.

"Barney." Daphne retorted in an ice manner

"Hello dear. I see you've encountered some rather poor company. I can fix that" He grinned crudely. Riven stepped forward almost in front of Daphne. He was well aware of how much Barney repulsed her.

"Take a hike, you rat"

Daphes face contorted further

"What he said. Nobody wants to look at your ugly mug any longer than we have to"

Barney scowled at this, advancing threateningly on Riven, ignoring her words all together

"Excuse me?"

Riven rose to the challenge, he wasn't about to let this rotten boy near his friend.

"Going deaf Barney? Can't be awfully good for a guard."

"Listen here pond scum, she's got better people for company than the outcast."

"That's for her to decide. And if she truly rather confide her time with 'pond scum' it speaks volumes of how much she'd rather avoid you."

Barney's eyes darkened but before the two could break out into a fight Daphne stepped forward between the boys.

"Leave. Now."

Barney's eyes fell to her and a sickening grim smile plagued her eyes. He trailed his fingers through her hair making her eyes sharpen and Riven down right snarl, before her friend could land a punch, Barney spoke up.

"I suppose I have better things to do than fight off this pest. Plus I'm supposed to be meeting the chief now- something Riven here will never do " His attentioned flicked to Riven, then back to her "another time, darling" He winked.

Daphne fumed watching him walk over scrubbing her face with her sleeve.

"That vulgar piece of- UGH"

Riven put a hand on her shoulder

"You okay?"

She released a frustrated breath. "Words cannot describe how much I hate him, and hes going to meet my father. I know exactly what that means"

"You're not the only one." But he went quiet at the second part. He knew what it meant as well. But he also knew how much she hated thinking about it.

Still he hated even more to see his friend in dismay. He knew exactly what would cheer her up. He loosely took her hand testing the waters

"Come on Daph. Let's go get our gear."

She seemed to instantly brighten at this and her enthusiasm seeped back in, she tightened the hold.

"Sure thing."

The duo set off as the evening sun began to set, and soon stars would paint the sky.

The plan wasn't as simple to lay out as the group had hoped it would be, but Henry expected as much. Each scenario ended with the borrowers (a concept his mind still hadn't completely grasped) conversing with them..but it was getting to that point that was the hard part.

In truth it would be quite easy. They could easily catch them. They could set up traps. The could study their routine and catch them off guard. But that would break any possibility of trust and not to mention, defy any sense of morality and treating them humanely. These two, 'Daphne' and 'Riven' had intelligence. They couldn't deal with them like animals. The concept alone felt wrong. Though it wasn't as if they could just wait in the kitchen and strike up a conversation (that had been Theos idea)

Maisey suggested leaving notes- not a terrible idea but while Daphne would be intrigued, Riven was sure to dissuade her interest and it would most likely result in the pair never coming back- lest Daphne came back alone, but given what he had gathered on their relationship he doubted the girl would do so. They seemed rather close.

Thomas suggested they try find ways to make them come more often like leaving out food or supplies. Though Sadie had said once again they werent animals, and wouldn't be so easily tricked- not only that but given how cautious the boy had been been about the Coke lid it was uncertain they'd take that bait, as well as that, they seemed to have a good amount of knowledge on the concept of traps- not that food was meant to be a trap, rather an offering- but again, it would most likely cause concern and lead to them once again not returning.

It was shaping to be an impossible dilemma. On one hand they wanted to act soon, on another they knew they had to be patient. And so the group sat. They had wasted most of the day, nobody was free today after all, everyone had assignments to catch up on. Yet here they were nonetheless, plotting away.

"Well, what if we do take my idea and wait in the kitchen until they come out? The once they were in, we could seal off the exit long enough to ensure them it was safe-"

"That's trapping them Theo."

"No no it's not trapping!, I mean.. ok so it kinda is- but in a nice way. Once they realise it's okay they'll calm down and..and this is a terrible idea. One can't trap someone in a nice way, can they?" Theo pouted slightly.

Thomas seemed to smirk at this, he hadn't really smirked a lot today, this was proving a harrowing experience for everyone.

"No, no I don't think so Theo."

Theo slumped back

"I guess..I guess we leave it then?"

This surprised all his friends, who hadn't expected him to say such a thing given his excitement earlier.

"Really?" Sadie asked, no doubt voicing everyone's thoughts

"I mean..what else can we do? Every idea just ends in scaring them or making them leave for good- which are two options I'm not liking."

"So..we kinda just came full circle then didn't we? This was our initial reaction after the footage.." Thomas sighed.

Silence fell over them all. Until Maisey piped up.

"Maybe..I..okay.. the girl seemed really interested in the camera. We can't treat them like animals. We can't leave stuff like food out without seeming obvious. We can't leave stuff they'll see as any sort of offering either. So what if we just feed their interests? Daphne, was that her name? She, she seemed to like the camera right? So what if we left a phone? Innocent enough. It's your home after all, leaving a phone in the kitchen isn't that crazy of an idea. We might even win over Riven? I think that was his name? well we might win him over too. If we cant give them food to eat, give them food for thought? And maybe from there we can decide where to go next. We might learn more about them from it. Plus if they could see one our of camera rolls on our phones they'll see our group pictures, and might deem us friendly?"

Henry fiddled with his fingers, considering the idea, as did Sadie. Theo seemed to be on board with any idea that seemed rational. Thomas perked up with scanning the coffee table.

"Henry, if we do this, it's got to be your phone. If they do look though pictures, they might see the footage of them on Theos. That's a definite red flag. We will one hundred percent never see them again."

Henry stood.

"Well then. I'm going to disarm the traps. I believe we have a plan"

The clock ticking was once again the most apparent noise filling the empty kitchen, pairing once again with the moonlight and tonight the addition of the occasional drip of droplets falling from the tap.

And finally, two pairs of small feet, followed by two smaller voices.

Slipping through the tile Daphne continued their conversation, hurrying out like she had the night before

"-wait to see it! I hope it's still here!"

Riven who rushed after her panted as he exited the wall

"I'm sure it is Daph! Just- phew- let me catch my breath, yeah?"

Daphne stood star struck. It was still here!

But something else had caught her eye.

"Riven! Riven!! Get over here!!"

Riven had immediately noticed the lack of traps, he was sure Daphne did too, but she was more focused on her newest find, th box. The lack of traps made him itch. It was a good thing there was absolutely no arguing with that- but why the sudden removal? Those traps hadn't been touched in ages..the traps were gone, the strange box had appeared something was off. But before he could think any further he heard Daphne yelling his name.

Thinking his friend was in danger, scrambled to get over as quick as possible, only to see she was perfectly fine. Leave it to Daphne to unintentionally give him a heart attack. But then his eyes met the object that captivated her, and he felt he very well could collapse there and then.

Another human object- like that strange box from their last venture- which was sure enough still there, it's little red light blinking- something about it still unnerved him, he just couldn't put his finger on it, though he was almost sure it had something to do with the missing traps..

But this one was different. It was flat, its surface covered in the same sort of sleek glass from the circle on the box.

His concerned paired rather poorly with Daphne's astonishment. But before he could even speak she'd already pressed her hands against it, and snatched them away instantly. He sucked in a deep breath at this- but calmed when nothing happened. This could be a trap of some sorts..he needed to ease her away from it.

"Huh...l guess they don't do much..odd. We should leave it alone.."

Daphne wasn't one to give up however

"No no, it has to do something! Humans are far too creative to build something so..unexplainable and have no reason for it!" Unafraid this time, she softly brushed her hands over it only only notice another feature, her excitement making Riven jump.

"wait! Look here, there's bumps on the side!"

She scooted over to them. One was a long line, the other a short one. She pressed it experimentally but nothing happened.

She cocked her head and looked to Riven

"Maybe I need to push harder? Here go on the opposite side and hold it steady"

Riven swallowed, reluctant to do so, but found his legs giving in to the command. Still, nothing happened.

After a second failed attempt, her giddy smile was morphing into one of confusion.

"Okay... oh right! Maybe it needs to be pulled? But..no they wouldn't make sense. If it's too difficult for us to pull at this height it would be way to small for a human." She sat in concentration and regarded the second shorter line.

Maybe?

She pressed down and suddenly light filled the room!

She gasped aloud and scurried backwards, Riven who was equally shocked, let out a yelp, almost falling off the counter- but managed to stop just before the lethal fall.

Daphne gasped his name and hurried over to her friend skidding before him "gosh! Are you okay?!"

Riven who was collecting himself let out a shakey breath

"S-sure.. didn't expect that."

Daphne found herself laughing at this

"Me neither.. but I was right! It does do something!! Come on we gotta figure out what!"

Riven was less enthusiastic, but hesitantly made his way back over. The glassy surface had gone black once more.

"Okay..let's try this again"

With a push, the illumination was back and the pair stared down, ones eyes like the stars themselves, ones with fear and caution.

Daphne inspected the sight before them. A picture of mountains and a gorgeous lake in the summertime shone before them. And this time, despite his better judgement Riven founr himself in awe

"Woah.."

"Do you think it's a doorway? Can humans do that? No..too big. But do..do you think we could?"

It would be Riven this time who carefully reached forward and tapped the expanse before them.

Only for it to deny entry.

"Huh..I don't think so"

Riven couldn't believe his own sudden lure to this stange object, fascination with human stuff was his counterparts thing, not his. And yes here he was almost captivated by the sight before him. He noticed a strange detail near the tip of the moutain top

"what are those numbers up there?"

Daphne scratched the side of her head, and tugged on her hair in thought, reading them out.

"Zero Two..dot dot One Zero? Um maybe some sort of code?"

The screen went black abruptly and Daphnes face reddened a little disheartened.

"Oh..maybe I was wrong"

She pressed on the side once more and the image was back, as were the numbers- only before them the numbers changed the zero and two remained the same on the left but on the sight there was now a pair of ones.

She scanned the magical glass in intrigue unable to figure the mystery out, but words found there way anyway. 

"And here I thought humans only conquered healing magic, I have no clue what this power is but it's..beautiful."

Riven pulled his eyes away from the phone, watching her instead, his cheeks burning ever so slightly- but he coughed it aside and read the words below the numbers in smaller writing.

"Tues, May, two..what do you think that means?.."

Daphne couldn't fathom an answer

"No idea.. oh! Wait! Humans measure time differently right? I heard from the borrowing squad they have names for not just days of the week but the months too. May is a summer month from what I recall? Tues could be the day Tuesday. But it isn't Tuesday until sunrise surely? It's still night..maybe the magic is wrong? Two is odd though, I'm lost on that"

She longed for an explanation, questions were bombarding her mind- and then another detail caught her eyes.

"Look- 'swipe to unlock' unlock...as in like locks from the big glass things- windows?..but..but I don't know how to get those locks open..it's why we use the walls after all- and to hide I suppose"

She gave a contemplative hum, and looked up at the window across the room.

"Swipe..swipe.. like to swipe something? Wait Daph maybe we have to do some sort of action to 'unlock'?"

Daph whirled around to face Riven again as it dawned on her too

"Excellent idea! Alright!"

But then she paused

"But what does that mean? Swipe at our surroundings?"

Riven shrugged, equally lost and in search of answers.

"We could try it?"

And so the two made exaggerated movements at the air, hitting and swiping with all their might, but the screen went black once more.

They both huffed at this. Riven gave a determined nod and Daphne excitedly pressed the button once more. She'd never seen her friend this interested in human stuff, and she didn't want to let the opportunity slide.

We the light springing back on they tried again..and again.

"Maybe together?"

In unison they tried again, but there arms went opposite ways, and to avoid getting hit, Daphne slipped forward falling onto the object.

Rivens eyes widened and apologies spilled.

"Daph! Sorry! I should've asked which direction. You okay? Here"

He held out his hand to pull her up but she was giggling at the silliness of it all. She took his hand assuring him

"Riv I'm fine! Don't worry so much it was only a-"

As he pulled her up her arm unintentionally brushed on the glass and below her everything changed.

She sprung up at this.

"Wait! That worked?! Maybe it likes humiliation.."

Hand in hand they gazed down below mouths agape. The view had changed entirely and hundreds of squares filtered before them.

Daphne fell to her knees once more to try something. Wordlessly, her palm pressed against a square and it immediately grew in size to cover the expanse entirely.

But it was what was in the square that made her heart stop.

"Riven.."

"I..I see them Daphne"

People their height, all sitting at a table- Daphnes mind was blown.

"Are they..borrowers? H-humans know about us? No no this..this can't be true! If humans know then why are we living in secret out in the forests? And look Riv, their clothes! The furniture! They all fit perfectly.."

Riven found fear melting into him once more, pushing out that previous joy and shock.

"Daphne..this.. this is a human object and..  they," He pointed at the group below "are our height. What if..what if this thing..captures borrowers? And makes them p-pets stuck inside a trap forever? Maybe they removed the rat traps to capture us alive in this instead?!"

For the very first time, Daphne found herself almost frightened of humans. It had never truly hit her until this very moment and the implications and lurking danger of of her visits loomed over her like an impending doom knotting up her stomach. Thought it didn't exactly last long. She was back to her curious mindset almost instantly.

These borrowers looked happy? There was a boy with dark skin and curly hair, he had a playful smirk and mischievous hazel eyes, he was making some symbol with his fingers, holding them over a fair skinned sandy blonde girl with bold green eyes and freckles. Beside them two sat another girl whom had short red hair with a slight fringe, her eyes were closed in the picture from her warm cheerful smile, her cheeks were blushed and she had dimples- a complete opposite to the boy beside her, he had his arm around her shoulder affectionately- his eyes were dark behind two strange glass circles, his skin was quite pale, perhaps accentuated from his pitch black hair, he was sulking at the boy beside him who looked the most joyus of all, he gave a toothy smile matching his untamed wavey hair and wild look in his eyes- which were equally enthralling on their own as one was a pale blue and the other was washed with light green- that teasingly looked at the grumpy boy.

Daphne couldn't describe it well, but inside she felt an odd sadness? She'd never seen such a group, and a part of her found herself wanting to meet these borrowers. They didn't seem trapped to her. They seemed to be living the life she longed for.

Riven who had since calmed himself took note of Daphnes sudden change.

"Daph...are you okay?"

She could only shake her head in silence, the tick of the clock and drip of water echoing loudly in her thumping head.

"I don't understand it Riven" She whispered.

"I mean.. if humans know..why have we been made hide away? Is this truly what happens when a borrower is seen? Everything is their height..everything is normal..does Father know of this? Is that the truth being him refusing to let me borrow? Because being caught means living a normal life? Because that against the borrower way of life?"

She was almost mad at that, if her father did know she'd be furious. A whole new way of life and his controlling ways shielded her from obtaining it.

She had a conflicted look on her face- and Riven didn't like it. Her being this distraught felt so wrong- but he didn't want to interupt her, it would probably frustrate her to not voice her worries. Thought it appeared she had finished when her darkened eyes met his.

Riven wasn't quite sure how to react. It was almost as if she wanted to he trapped if it meant living like this. But why would anyone want that?

"I..I don't know Daph. I wish I could give you the answers you want. Though their smiles could be part of the trick after all..maybe to allure borrowers in. I know you want to know more Daphne, but maybe it's best we leave this be. I just..I would never forgive myself if something happened to you. Especially when I could've done something about it. I care about you okay?"

Daphnes eyes widened a little, her heart fluttered at his words, and her concerns seemed to flutter away. A small smile touched her lips

"There we go. Much better"

He guided her back to the object, scanning the various faces. They did look happy. He supposed he envied that too. But they needed to make it black again. They couldn't risk leaving evidence of it being touched.

"Now..how do I make this go away?.."

He tapped the glass but nothing happened. Thats when beside him Daphne noticed something she was floored she hadn't caught before, eyes widening she grabbed his arm.

"Riv! Look!"

She pointed at the screen, then across the room.

"The table-"

His eyes snapped up from the phone to the dark interior of the kitchen, to where the moonlight fell on a table.

"Those aren't borrowers Riv"

And as if she had never been upset, Daphne was back to her old habits in no time. Her eyes glistened

"They're humans! It isn't a trap! Though I still don't understand it- though it explains the clothing! And the furniture!"

With this newfound information she scrutinised it closer.

On the table sat a strange colourful board, paper and two weird green circular things..but what she couldn't get over was the strange shapes- figures!

"What do you think they are? They're our height?"

Riven found a part of himself wishing she understood the risks of her interests, wishing that this was a trap so that she'd stay away from it. It was a little selfish but he couldn't help it. He could keep Barney at bay, but humans..

Still, he followed her pointed finger to the figures and swallowed thickly upon seeing one in the wild-haired humans hand. He pictured himself.. or worse, Daphne in the same grasp, encaged by the terrifying giant. It made his stomach turn.

Daphnes curiosity moved on and she stared longingly at the image

"I..I wish we could talk with them"

Riven wasn't drinking but somehow he still managed to choke. He gave her an incredulous look, his stomach dropping even further at her words. Gods..

"Daphne? You..you can't be serious"

She only smiled sheepishly, predicting she'd get such a reaction. She was gonna drive him insane

"Gods Daph! They're..they.."

Daphne interupted him before he could finish.

"They just..well..they seem nice is all. That short haired girl has lovely rosey cheeks, the blonde girl is so pretty too her eyes look like the could tell a story of their own. And the guy beside her seems so sneaky- in a good way though! Kinda playful. The grumpy one is kinda creepy though..but if the smiles are anything to go off I'm sure he's nice all the same..I wonder what those circles on his face are"

She pointed to the crazy haired boy "But I really like that ones smile..it's so..crazy? it looks like fun. They all look fun.." She stated longingly at the group "could you imagine it? Meeting them?"

Riven shook his head vigorously, he couldn't believe her enthusiasm. "Not a chance Daph. That's insane!"

Daphne scowled dramatically "I'd never actually do it Riv, I may want to- more than anything- but I'd never put you in that level of danger. Is it so wrong to picture it?" She sighed inspecting them once again

"What I would give..just to spend one day..just one day out here amongst humans, see their way of life, have my questions answered- like what this object is!"

Rivens shoulders slumped. He'd never understand that view. But..but despite the danger, he felt pity. It must be frustrating, to long for something you could never have. In some way he could kind of relate- though his wants were more personal. He watched her eyes filled eith desire, a sad smile tugging her lips. He supposed it was..fine- so long as she never acted on it. So long as they were never seen, day dreams could suffice.

"It's not something I'd dream off but... I get it." He noticed the sky outside was a growing gradient of deep blue to pinkish orange "hey, sun's gonna come up soon..wanna head back?"

Daphnes eyes darted to the window and nodded slowly, only they fell on the other strange box. She gave a small giggle.

"All this madness and I never figured out what that other thing was. I guess I do get easily distracted after all"

Riven laughed at this. That was an understatement to say the least.

As the pair left, the red light kept ite continuous blinking, as it captured the pair, the pair that had unknowingly already been seen by five humans.

[world-smitten]

What I'm watching

Summer Strike 1-5: I went into Summer Strike to compare it with Welcome to Samdal-ri, and found it so contrasting it borders on symmetry. Unlike Samdal, Yeo-reum, our heroine, is so anonymous that her mother's death feels like it never happened, this catastrophe barely puncturing the routine of her corporate grind. And Yeo-reum is a stranger to Andok, the sleepy seaside town she retires to as she tries to cherish time in her life again. There's fun perspective switching in the early episodes. Yeo-reum wanders through Andok with hazy whimsy, blossoms in the air, the sea; but the townsfolk are grounded in very specific interiors as they discuss and negotiate her place in their town. Already, without her even knowing, they've fitted her into the politics of their small world. Yeo-reum runs away to Andok to get her time back and she's very lucky that she can do that, because others are desperate to leave for Seoul. The synergy between Seoul and Andok is very real, and more nuanced than anything WTS tried to pull. Success isn't guaranteed in Seoul, peace isn't guaranteed in Andok, & happiness isn't guaranteed in either. Bom, the high-schooler she meets, needs an escape - her poverty and dysfunctional family feel magnified by Andok's smallness and the intense judgement of its people. Bom and Yeo-reum's sisterhood is so touching, and it wouldn't happen if Yeo-reum wasn't an outsider, wasn't presenting a vision of an adulthood not defined by desperation. I love them so much 🥹 The direction and performances are brilliant, especially Shin Eun-soo (Bom) and Park Ye-young (Ji-young).

No Gain No Love 1-4: Cannot believe how fun this show is. It hits its emotional beats with surprising effectiveness - I was seriously moved by the wedding, where Hae-young's foster siblings visit (and mourn) her mom, who can't remember them. And I vibe with its humour so much its almost embarrassing. Hae-young and her sisters are the perfect trio. People were lamenting pairing The Shin Min-ah with Kim Young-dae (very valid), & I was sure I'd enjoy the secondary couple more (with my fav Lee Sang-yi) - but that has not been the case! Kim Young-dae has outgrown the stiltedness that plagues these pretty boy actors, and his chemistry with Shin Min-ah is palpable. It helps that the show isn't afraid of sex and Hae-young is an assertive adult woman who knows exactly what she wants. NGNL isnt deep but its very honest and true to itself. I'd forgotten that you could write a romcom with characters that felt "real".

Perfect Family 1-6: My Sky Castle parents are back!! Kim Byung-chul & Yoon Se-ah have the most striking, photographable faces, which makes them the perfect pair for a gorgeously directed slow-burn thriller about two parents nestled in secrets, a mystery to their increasingly paranoid daughter. It's very slow moving so far, building up tension + expectations - I'm hoping what it's building up to is worth it. But I'm enjoying the slow-burn so far.

Beauty and Mr Romantic 1-40:

loll but in all seriousness, I've enjoyed my (re)discovery of charming Im Soo-hyang (which led me to check out My ID, one of the best things I've watched this year); I've enjoyed chatting abt it w/ the lovely people on Dramabeans, I've enjoyed the weekend check-in on this show's insanity. So it's not like I'm not having fun, but this show really, really, really doesn't want to be liked. I'm sure writer-nim is doing this on purpose - psychos outnumber sensible characters 6:1, and the writing goes out of its way to be as mean and low as possible. I never expected much from it, but there was a point where it was cute, and now it just seems determined to sink itself on its own aimless cynicism.

[dearmrsawyer]

hello! it has been a long time since i've talked through my day! this one had such a big turnaround that i needed to document it, mostly for myself.

i had an appointment with a 'root canal specialist' today bc i had my first app with my new dentist a couple of weeks ago and his xray revealed an abscess wow how fun :) i couldn't feel it bc that tooth has a decade old root canal so there are no nerves to reveal there is anything going on!! fun!!!! he's a super nice dentist, i like him but he made me very panicked lol he was showing me how close it is to my sinuses on the xray. so he was like 'go see this guy asap' bc he wanted to know whether there was a chance my old root canal could be redone or if i'd have to get the whole tooth removed/an implant, all for the low low price of $5-6000 🙃 but obviously you can never see specialists asap!!! so i've been walking around for 2.5 weeks with dread/phantom pains that by the time i saw him the infection would've spread and idk had catastrophic consequences??? and then today when i went there was CONSTRUCTION at the turn i needed to make and the road was closed and i was like i don't know how to get there from another street??!?!?!??! i spent 10 minutes driving through suburban streets and my navigation kept trying to take me back to the original route with the closed road, and its the middle of town so there was nowhere i could just temporarily stop and look at the map, and i called them almost crying to let them know i'm coming but i might be late bc i just can't navigate these streets jegjkdgkjdkg

anyway i MADE it, i think i parked in another business's parking lot and just hoped they didn't care lol and then the lady at the desk was like 'our other specialist will have to see you bc the guy you're here for isn't here' so i was feeling uhhhh not good after my dentist talked him up so much. AND my dentist didn't send over my electronic referral and i had LITERALLY been stressed that he would forget to do exactly that for the whole 2.5 weeks oh my god, thankfully they didnt even seem to care. but then as i was filling out the paperwork in the waiting room 'no judgment' came on, and then 'wolves' right after??? and i was like this seems deliberate to try and calm me down 😂 and when the substitute specialist called me in he was so extremely calming and talked me through my options, one of which is indeed to try and redo the root canal bc he's confident he can, it would still cost a lot but wayyyyy less. he also said i could 'do nothing' (which is obv risky, and i would never do nothing, but that made me realise my infection is not about to bust through and spread across my sinuses any second, one fear down!). he was just softly spoken and super relaxed and he made me feel like this was not in fact a crisis and said i could go and think about what i wanted to do, and just call for an appointment when i decided. and then when i went out to pay 'i want to write you a song' was playing 😭 i asked the receptionists if there was a 1d fan in the house and one of them said it must just be a random playlist on spotify, so this was all a complete coincidence????? i told them i was enjoying it very much.

anyway long story short i had already taken the rest of the afternoon off work to go work in the garden, but figured there was a good chance i'd be so down about an unexpected and immiment $5000 hit that i wouldn't want to do anything, but i drove home feeling extremely reassured that i had options and i was not on the clock to decide, and also very relaxed by 1d playing in the background the entire time. i have also been extremely stressed that i would need to take the next step asap and this would be such a bad time as mum is working 50 hour weeks right now bc of the referendum, so i am on caring duty with nonna/nonno anytime we don't have carers here. but there's time! i had a v good afternoon in the garden after all!

[hildred-rex]

Hello, I love Hildred Castaigne! He’s such a fucked up unreliable narrator and he also reminds me so much of myself in middle school and I love him for it. What do you like about him?

First off, apologies for taking absolutely ages to answer this! Life happened and I promptly forgot tumblr existed for almost a month. Yay.

Anyhow, I think my love of Hildred is a combination of the factors you mentioned and the absolute state I got into shortly after I found The King in Yellow -- aaand here comes an essay. The last version of this got deleted, and apparently I've taken it upon myself to make its replacement even lengthier.

Hildred is a fascinating character to read and to write, and his opinions on things are (or would be) so different from mine that it's fun to try to puzzle them out. I keep a bevy of fictional characters that I can simulate reasonably well as a way to make myself consider how people get to opinions that differ from mine, and naturally he's among them.

Beyond that, I'm an absolute sucker for hints at a greater world, but only narrow viewpoints from which to try to figure out what's going on in that world.

The weird bits of The King in Yellow as a whole are superb at tantalizing you with smug allusions and tiny scraps of information about what, exactly, it is that the book is named for.

Is it a play? Is it an entity? What happened to the author? ...was the author Boris? (I don't think the author was Boris, but I won't lie that I've considered writing a fic where he was.)

I got hooked on Lovecraft for the same reason, and it's actually what put me on to Arthur Machen (favorite author) and The King in Yellow (favorite book).

Even with all that, I think my King in Yellow interest would have been a passing thing that returned occasionally, if it hadn't been the last thing I got into before my first set of high school final exams kicked my ass.

The tl;dr of freshman year is that I picked the wrong math class and it spent the semester wrecking my self-confidence (and my sleep schedule) before I finally managed to transfer to a better one. (Then I spent second semester picking myself back up.)

Hildred, notably, is self-confident to the point of it backfiring catastrophically on him. He absolutely should not have gloated to Louis, tactically speaking; in this essay I will-

Anyway. Stress is weird, so during finals season and its leadup I had quite a lot of unmarshalled energy that refused to work on what I actually needed it to do and that instead directed itself at my idle pokings at Hildred and his world.

Probably better than worrying about how my abysmal math grade was going to ruin my life.

It didn't, and I came out of the crucible with rather extensive additional worldbuilding. Since I essentially speedran getting invested in the project, I came away wanting to do more of it and... it just kind of stuck?

I mean, here we are several years later and my first impulse is still to name my tumblr blog for him. I've got a rough idea of his extended family back three generations. I have a design for that spring suit Hawberk had that was mentioned exactly once. I am the embodiment of

when it comes to this lol

_____

I couldn't find a good place to fit this in above, but Hildred was also the first time I encountered a story with an obviously intentional unreliable narrator after I'd encountered the term. Not sure how I missed it that long, lol. I spent probably half a decade looking askance at various authors and going "...do you know what you're writing there???"

I also couldn't integrate it anywhere, but I absolutely adore "The Mask." I have Thoughts on Chambers's ability to write romance more generally, the short version being that he writes Lovers™ and not characters and they're thus so wooden they're hard to read, but that he must have been in a position like the beginning of "The Mask" because holy god that is exactly how it feels.

[ehlnofay]

20 Questions for Writers

tagged by @everybodyknows-everybodydies and @wispstalk :) thanks guys! answers under the cut

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

58, in the account connected to this one :)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

152,370... more than I would have thought honestly damn. I knew I had a good few hundred thousand words rattling around in the bowels of my computer but I didn't know I'd posted that many

3. What fandoms do you write for?

primarily elder scrolls (to everyone's surprise, I'm sure) but I've taken up writing for bg3 over on @spellsparkler recently... evidently playing rpgs Does Something to me. the combination of preset narrative and freedom of interpretation of character makes some evil little cog in my brain start spinning and sparking. I have also, on a completely unrelated ao3 account, written exactly two fics for pentiment... might do more of that in future. it's a beautiful game and surprisingly easy to write for. highly recommend

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

All's Fair in a Burning House , Welcome to my Table (Bring Your Hunger), the glarthir fic, Comfort and Etienne Rarnis Goes Home. an interesting batch

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try! sometimes I forget for too long and then I feel guilty for forgetting and I put it off more because I feel guilty. it's a supremely unhelpful thought process. but for the most part I do. I always read them, often multiple times, and they bring me great joy

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hmm. to be honest I don't think I've ever thought about this before... I've never set out to write something that ends sadly, just to say whatever they need to say. there's also the issue that the majority of what I post is shortform - they're snapshots of a wider narrative, not a whole cohesive arc in themselves - so much of what I write doesn't HAVE endings. the pieces that do tend more than anything to be bittersweet, I think. I guess I would say A Study in Self-Immolation? I wouldn't call it "angsty" but it definitely has more of a downward trajectory than anything else. it has a catastrophe and everything

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

same problem here! I have plenty of short pieces with more cheerful tones but a lot of my more self-contained stuff tends to have a certain Atmosphere. I think I have to say the glarthir fic... the whole point of writing it was to give him a more realistic and empathetic portrayal and a chance at a happy ending (I am forever hitting whoever writes about mental illness in tes with a big stick. I hate them with all my heart)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

ONCE. when I was 10 or 11 I was called a slur in the comments of a minecraft fic and it has brought me much amusement ever since (they were angry that I kept saying "shone" instead of "shine") (to be fair I for sure overused the word at that age. but it was PAST TENSE. I WAS RIGHT) (and also it was a minecraft fanfiction obviously written by a child. do you really have nothing better to do)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I am. literally only just now beginning to get past my mental block for writing romance let's not get ahead of ourselves here in all earnestness in my efforts to practice writing romantic relationships I have found that I'm fine alluding to or mentioning sex, but the idea of writing a play-by-play sex scene sounds awkward and uninteresting for me, and I highly doubt that I could write it in a way that didn't feel stilted and trite. maybe in the future I will find some purpose for it and will endeavour to figure it out! but for now... absolutely zero appeal. I'm still working on getting confident enough to post the pieces where people kiss on the mouth or whatever

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

never have! never plan to! I get why it would be fun for people but it's just not that interesting an idea to me

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I would be IMMENSELY flattered. but no

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

I haven't. it's not something I would be opposed to but it does sound difficult... I'm used to hashing things out on my own and working at my own (occasionally very slow) pace, I'm not sure how that would work with someone else

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I am entirely too aromantic for this question. don't get me wrong I love mashing two characters together it's just that whether they kiss about it is not even remotely a concern for me? number one question is it at least a little bit fucked up number two question what is the symbolism and narrative devices about it. no follow up questions. does a ship have to be romantic? or do I have to be specifically invested in the romance part of it for it to count? I have a truly endless list if the answer to either is no

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

all the old things I started when I was a kid and never finished. I'm pretty good about eventually getting things done now that I'm focusing on more short-form stuff... there is the thing that I'm working on (in the loosest sense) that I'm taking a long ass break from but I honestly believe I will get back to it and finish it. eventually

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at building layered and interesting dynamics between characters - I've gotten compliments on that before (blushing curtseying etc) and it's probably one of my favourite things about writing. relatedly I think I'm pretty good at subtext and showing things without stating them outright

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I mentioned earlier that I'm trying to get past my awkwardness when writing anything to do with romance - I don't like that there's something that is a significant part of a lot of peoples' lives that I don't really know how to write. I'm working on it and I think I'm getting better at it already though... I think it's more of a mental block and the worry of getting it wrong than anything else. fingers crossed I'll be confident enough to post some of my attempts soon I think staying committed to writing longer-form pieces is also something I'd like to improve on, in the future. I could also use a lot of improvement in the editing department - in that I barely do it, and I think coming into things with more intention and being better at paring them down and keeping to that goal would be really helpful, especially with more ambitious projects

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think when it's done well (and sparingly) it can really add something to the piece, but my monolingual ass could not do it well. I've tried; it's a difficult thing to implement without it feeling clunky, and it's not something I'm prioritising improving on. I do like to see it when it's done right though

19. First fandom you wrote for?

minecraft when I was like 10 or 11 (it had all this weird mythological worldbuilding and my main character was annoying as hell) (I got called a slur over it, as you may recall)

20. Favorite fic you've written?

man I think I have to say Comfort. it's just over a year old now and it's probably not the most technically skilled thing I've written, but the concept and subject matter is really close to my heart and I'm proud of it. it was born out of a lot of my own experiences with and perspectives on mental illness, as well as an effort to create something with more humanity and understanding than tes shows its disordered caricatures - both to humanise them and to try to write a version of the idea of mental illness (as sheogorath) that doesn't have to be a monster. I'm glad I wrote it