#that's exactly what I'D be doing if i was about to write a catastrophe that i wanted the audience to feel tense and conflicted about.

[drinkingdeadpeopletea]

oh so the highest light is for SURE getting destroyed or at the very least endangered huh,

[ashes-goin-down]

I think Cartman hates jewish people and -Kyle- too much to be vulnerable like you've depicted. No matter what level of physical attraction he might feel.

Hi there, thanks for your comment. Unfortunately I wrote a whole-ass novel in response so here's the TL;DR so you don't actually have to read all that: I agree that the comic is OOC but I don't think it's because of Cartman's hatred of Kyle or Jewish people.

Sorry for misusing your message to go on a somewhat loosely related rant but I've been meaning to write this for a while and it came as a convenient excuse lmao _

I agree with you regarding the vulnerability. I don't think Cartman would voice his feelings like that unless (he could claim that) it's a farce (e.g., Jenny Simons, "Cartman Finds Love") or the other person shows interest in him first so he feels safe from rejection (Heidi, initially - not opening that whole can of worms rn lol). For example, he treated his attraction to Patty Nelson as a big secret, apparently not even considering ever confessing to her, and that's most likely because he was expecting the reaction she did end up giving him since, beneath his self-deceit, he's excruciatingly aware of the fact that he's actually not exactly highly regarded by his peers.

It's a lot of work upholding the façade he's build for himself of being this cool, esteemed person and it cracks easily even without direct outside influence (for example when Clyde Frog or Cupid Me insult him) so he really, really doesn't deal with rejection very well. Him being this vulnerable to Kyle specifically and then getting rejected would be absolutely catastrophic for him, so I agree that he wouldn't put himself in that position. However, it's my opinion that the most OOC thing about the comic is the fact that he simply acknowledges that Kyle hates him. I don't actually think he'd just accept that but would instead convince himself that it isn't true ("Kyle has internalized homophobia" or better yet "Kyle doesn't think he's worthy of someone as cool and awesome as me") and then do some crazy shit to try and win him over.

So yeah, you're right: He Would Not Fucking Say That. I don't think his hatred of Kyle and/or Jewish people is the reason he wouldn't, though, as I believe Cartman's feelings towards Kyle and Judaism are a lot more complicated than that. It's not without reason that his relationships with both are such a big part of the show and that people smarter than me have written whole essays on the topic lmao

I feel the need to clarify that I am in no way trying to excuse any of Cartman's antisemitism! I'd just like to voice a few thoughts on its origin and evolution.

Cartman is clearly weirdly obsessed with both Kyle and his religion and obviously they are linked. While I suppose initially it might have been a bit of a chicken-egg situation ("He hates Kyle because he hates Jews" vs. "He hates Jews because he hates Kyle"), I believe originally his antisemitism may have simply been a byproduct of his fascination with the third reich, which itself I think was mostly a result of his enjoyment of envisioning himself as a dictator (i.e. the ultimate authority figure) and as such was actually pretty surface-level - as is evident from the fact that for a long time he didn't seem to fully grasp what exactly Judaism even IS (as shown when he apologizes to Kyle for calling him a Jew or when he uses the term as an insult towards Stan and Kenny). Still, I very much dislike it when people try to downplay his bigotry as naivety. That really doesn't hold any water after very early on in the show, if it ever even did in the first place, since he definitely acts from a place of malice and over time his fixation on the religion seems to have developed into something bigger. He's learnt more about it and it became much more synonymous with Kyle for him (the order of which is also debatable but I of course lean a certain way). At this point in the show I believe it's safe to say that he wouldn't be nearly as obsessed with Judaism if Kyle wasn't Jewish. While Cartman is obviously a bigoted asshole in many ways, he's not nearly as preoccupied with other minority groups as he is with Jews and he has even shown himself to be surprisingly tolerant of homosexuals and disabled people (who, of course, were also heavily persecuted under Nazism).

I really do think that "Jewpacabra" did leave a lasting impact on his character. It's pretty obvious that he was being genuine at the end of of the episode and actually did intent on self-identifying as Jewish from then on (and iirc M&T confirmed as much in the commentary to that episode and explained that they just sort of… forgot about that lol) and then in "Shots" he does claim to be Jewish and while that may have been in an attempt to get a vaccination exemption, the aforementioned commentary makes me believe it may not exclusively be that.

Notably, he specifically calls himself an "Orthodox Jew", which Kyle obviously doesn't seem to be and that ties in nicely with him becoming a rabbi in PC and making the religion his entire personality - because it's not enough to become Jewish: He needs to beat Kyle at being Jewish.

Of course, Cartman never actually stops being antisemitic before the time skip but then "Cupid Ye" implies that that isn't even a fully conscious decision that he can completely control but instead at least partially caused by whatever he has going on mentally. He even actively attempts to counteract it when he decides that it has gone too far. That's my take on the episode, at least. Obviously the whole thing with Cupid Me is kind of messy. No matter what exactly is actually happening there, I do think the his actions here prove that his feelings regarding the matter are more complex than they may initially appear to be.

Though I know it's still a point of contention for many, to me personally it seems pretty clear that him being a rabbi and a family man in PC was authentic and that he wasn't simply messing with Kyle the entire time. However, I find it extremely interesting that Cartman converted BEFORE meeting Yentl so I actually don't see any way in which Kyle didn't have any part in that and as such I don't think he would have ever become a rabbi if Kyle didn't happen to be Jewish. So my personal headcanon is that while Cartman's conversion was indeed directly influenced by Kyle, he actually did end up finding fulfillment in the faith and it ironically helped him let go of his obsession with him (which I think fits the show's style of humor).

To summarize: As a shipper I may be biased but I think that Cartman is a disturbed little boy who grows up to be a disturbed little man who fails to fully understand his feelings towards Kyle and - as an extension of that - the Jewish faith and thus lashes out into extremes regarding it.

[starg0ld]

Fragmenta Vitae (Prologue)

art creds: drosaxx on twt

❝ After albedo inevitably loses control, he pays the highest price by killing the person dearest to him. ❞

Albedo x Lumine (new note: originally meant to be an Albedo x reader, I've decided to turn this fic into an Albedo x Lumine. sorry for the short notice but as I was working on the next chapters I thought it fitted better this way. honestly I believe that a Lumine centered narrative can also be somehow neutral for self immersion. I'm trying to apply changes but tumblr doesn't work as I'd wish, tough I do not want to post it again. so, I'm sorry if the writing feels strange somewhere. if you want to check the other, better, versions, look at my AO3 and Fanfiction.Net account (also @/starg0ld).!! ))

Cw: death, murder, blood, slight gore, angst

words count: 2438

n/a: I had a lot of fun writing this first chapter!!! Which, more than a first chapter, is actually a sort of introduction to the story. The plot is based on the lore of one of my Genshin OCs, but I adapted it to make it more accessible for everyone. It's inspired by an old roleplay and one of my favorite movies, Poor Things (which I warmly recommend). Also, to me, Albedo's corruption happens just like in this fancomic. I highly encourage you all to read it because it explains exactly what happens to corrupted Albedo in my fic, and most especially because it's just so good and well-written to not be read.

"The universe, the sable essence of the starry void."

"Earth, the accumulative memory of time and being."

Many times throughout his long life, Albedo had imagined the moment when the precarious control he held over himself would shatter. He wondered what it would feel like, whether anyone would be able to stop him before he brought ruin upon everything, even Mondstadt, the city he had come to grow fond of. Each time he tried to envision that terrible eventuality, the scenario would shift, always different, yet eerily similar. There were unknowns, variables beyond even his rapid and analytical mind. No matter how far his thoughts could reach, there were things that even a brilliant alchemist like him could not predict.

"Soil, the origin of alchemy, the basis of all life."

Rhinedottir, his creator, also known as the infamous alchemist Gold, had always been forthright about his nature. She had never sought to conceal the potential faults in his very being, the price of crafting the perfect human, a prototype of divinity itself, a being who, in theory, could make the heavens tremble with his arcane essence. Yet Albedo had always dismissed such concerns, considering them distant and improbable, a possibility that almost didn't even concern him. That was until he had tasted the forbidden thrill of Khemia.

"The universe is the dark essence of the true starry sky, and the earth is the accumulated memories of time and lives. The chalk: that is you. The earth is where alchemy gets its name, and is the basis of all life. And this..." She demonstrated her technique before him as a huge life form burst from its culture tank in a shower of shattered fragments.

"...This is new birth."

Only then Albedo realized how fragile his understanding of the world truly was. There were far fewer certainties than he had once believed, but one truth remained absolute: meddling with the natural order always came at a cost.

"...Chalk, the substance from which primal life is molded."

The scene of him losing control had played out exactly as he had expected in his most tormented nights. It had happened countless times before, in the depths of his mind, each instance no less harrowing than the last. And yet, this time, something was different. This time, the nightmare had taken a turn he never dared to foreseen.

After meeting his dearest friend, Lumine, Albedo began to hope. Perhaps this mysterious girl from another world could be the key, a catalyst capable of neutralizing his transgression before catastrophe struck. Not that he didn’t trust his fellow knights and colleagues, but sadly, not even all the strength of their best warriors could have been enough. Albedo had no desire for his friends in Mondstadt to see him descend into something unrecognizable, least of all Klee, the child he had come to see as a sister. When he had met her, she gave him something even more precious than certainty, beside stealing his heart. With her, Albedo found a rare stability, a feeling he had never known before. Her smile and laughter lightened the weight of his turmoil, leading him to gravitate towards her. She was enigmatic, mysterious, a weaver of arcane arts, yet her charisma and charm had captured his mind. Albedo learned so much from her, from her creativity to the knowledge that sometimes seemed to test the limits of his own. Slowly, his world had softened, and for the first time, he dared to believe that perhaps, things did not have to end in disaster. As far as possible for a being like him, he could even live a normal life.

But fate had never been this kind.

For all the terrible outcomes the alchemist had envisioned, he never imagined this. Never had he thought that, out of all the people in Teyvat, it would be Lumine standing before him, facing him, fighting for him and against him, willing to sacrifice everything to save Mondstadt or him.

His memories were already fractured, blurred at the edges, but he could still recall the moment with painful clarity: the cold bite of a blade piercing his flesh, the sharp jolt of pain that, to him, had almost felt like a relief. Yet, a part of him that was not fully sentient kept finding new ways to attack her, to inflict the same amount of pain, if not worse, death. Both had begun to bleed, crimson on the carpet of white snow that covered the icy ground of Dragonspine.

And yet, her tears, warm and relentless, had rained down upon her cheeks, reddened by frost and fatigue. Through the haze of his faltering consciousness, he could heard her voice, distant yet desperate. Words he couldn’t fully grasp, but their meaning was unmistakable. Trying to bring the man she fell in love with back.

She had begged him to stay.

Begged him not to leave.

Begged him to think of Klee, of the little girl who would never understand why her brother was suddenly gone.

And the blood continued to flow copiously, carrying itself with the aftermath of the battle, the two exhausted and far too wounded.

"No matter how far apart we are, my soul and yours will always be intertwined." she said once, looking at the same sky that she dedicated to him every time.

Albedo hadn’t fully grasped the extent of the injury he had inflicted on Lumine. They had been locked in battle for quite a while, and the young witch’s energy was gradually fading. Blood surrounded them; she had lost a significant amount, and soon her blurry vision began to getting concerning. Despite her condition, she had still managed to stab Albedo in the chest.

Now, they were both laying together in the vast, icy wasteland that enveloped them. Their breaths were heavy and faint, both exhausted. However, Albedo eventually sensed that he was starting to come back to his former self, even though he felt weak and the pain was so intense it felt almost hollow. He could barely hear whispers, his beloved’s fingers tightening around his tense body. He began to feel a strange sensation crossing through his fibers like a stream, as if a hand was lifting him from the weight of his own flesh. A realization struck him as if another blade had been thrust into his heart. A bluish halo surrounded his wounds, suddenly lighter than the rest of the snow. He couldn’t believe that she was gathering her last strengths to perform that extreme gesture, a miracle and the greatest of sorceries at the same time.

A life for another life.

An extreme act of love and desperation. Lumine had performed a miracle, bittersweet, imperfect, a desperate attempt to undo what should have never been. For a moment, it had felt unreal, like slipping into one of his many dreams, visions where he had rehearsed, time and time again, the ways in which he might face his worst fears.

Albedo had never imagined, never dared to even consider, that he would awaken from his state of pain and confusion only to find her lifeless in his arms. The shift had been instantaneous, a cruel reversal of fate he could not comprehend. His hands, once steady, now trembled as they held her cold, unmoving form. Disbelief took root in his mind, slow and insidious, creeping through the cracks of his shattered reality.

His breath hitched the moment he saw her. His heart clenched, his stomach twisted, and the world around him blurred.

He dropped to his knees beside her, trembling hands reaching out as if afraid to touch, afraid to confirm what he already knew. But the moment his fingers brushed against her bloodied skin, the dam inside him shattered.

A choked breath left his lips. Carefully, so, so carefully he pulled her lifeless body into his arms, cradling her against his chest. She was limp in his grasp, her head lolling slightly as he adjusted her, pressing her close as if he could somehow shelter her from the cold that had already begun to seep into her skin.

She was gone.

His hand trembled as he brushed her hair back, fingers ghosting over her face in a motion that had once been second nature. Now, it felt hollow. His grip tightened as a sharp gasp escaped him as grief struck like a blade to the chest, raw and unbearable. His breathing turned ragged, erratic, as the reality of what had happened sunk into his bones, coiling around his heart like a vice.

It was his fault.

His arms locked around her, his entire frame shaking as he buried his face into her hair, squeezing his eyes shut as if blocking out the world would make this moment unreal. The tears burned at the edges of his vision, threatening to spill over. He couldn't hold them back.

His voice was shaking, broken and raw. “No… no, no, no…” His tone shook, barely more than a whisper at first, before rising into something raw and desperate. His body trembled violently, his grip tightening around Lumine as if holding on a little harder could somehow tether her to life. He pulled her closer, his hold almost crushing, terrified that if he loosened his embrace even slightly, she would slip away forever. Until a few hours before, her body was full of life, and now she lay cold on the blanket of snow. What a cruel joke, fate! And was he the one who had killed her…? No, Albedo couldn’t even think so. He didn’t want to believe it.

Memories assaulted his mind in rapid succession-fragments of laughter, of quiet moments, of the warmth in her gaze when she looked at him. He had taken all of it for granted. He had been so careless. He should have seen it coming. He should have known.

But he hadn't.

He had been too blind, too caught up in his own thoughts to notice the signs, to save her before it was too late.

His grip trembled, his fingers digging into her bloodstained clothing. His entire body ached, every nerve screaming in protest, but he couldn't let go. He refused to.

She was still warm.

“Why did you do this? Why?” His breath shuddered, his words cracked and broken by the sobs building in his throat. “This wasn’t the plan. This can’t be how it ends. I—I can’t lose you. I can’t…” His usual composure, the mask of control he always wore so effortlessly, shattered in the moment he had her in his arms. The weight of Lumine’s limp body pressed against him, and with it came the crushing realization of what she had done. The responsibility. The guilt. The overwhelming disbelief. It all crashed into him at once, a tidal wave of emotion that left him trembling.

The snow around them had been pristine once, an untouched white expanse stretching across Dragonspine's frozen landscape. Now, it was stained with crimson. Albedo forced himself to look down. The blood pooled beneath them, thick and dark, seeping into the snow like ink on parchment. The sight made his stomach twist violently.

His fault.

His fault.

His fault.

His breath came in harsh, uneven gasps. He felt like he was breaking apart, piece by piece, with no way to put himself back together. And then his gaze drifted back to Lumine’s face. Her expression was soft, but twisted, frozen in time. Pain. She had died in agony. Her mouth was slightly parted, as if she had been trying to say something. Her wide eyes-once so full of life-stared up at him, unseeing, unblinking. A gaping wound marred her stomach, her white clothes drenched in red. Blood had trickled from her lips, from the corners of her eyes, now crystallized into fragile, frozen tracks.

She had suffered. Because of him.

His breath hitched again, and before he could stop himself, a sob tore free from his throat. His hands trembled as they cupped her cheeks, his thumbs brushing away tears that no longer fell.

It was unbearable.

She had saved him. One final act of defiance against fate, one last miracle-her life for his.

And what had he done to deserve it?

Albedo let out a shaky breath, his forehead pressing against hers, his tears mingling with the blood and snow beneath them. She was growing colder. He knew he couldn't stay like this forever. He knew, eventually, he would have to let go

But not yet.

Not yet.

His mind raced, frantically clawing for a way out, some other miracle that could undo what had just happened. But there was nothing. No solution, no second chance. The price had been paid, and Name had been the one to pay it. And he… he was powerless to do anything but watch as her warmth slowly faded.

The weight of it crushed him.

“Please…” His voice cracked, the desperation in it thick enough to suffocate. “Please wake up. Please don’t leave me…”

Tears streamed down his face, unchecked and unrelenting, as he searched for any sign of life. A flicker of breath. A faint heartbeat. Anything. But there was nothing. Deep down, he knew. He knew. And still, he refused to accept it. His alchemical knowledge could no longer solve the irreversible at that moment.

“You can’t be…” His breath came in ragged, uneven gasps. “You were everything to me… please… please come back to me…”

His grip tightened again, his fingers digging into fabric and skin as if sheer force of will could keep Lumine with him. His face, streaked with tears, twisted with pain, grief and desperation bleeding into every word, every breath, every sob that wracked his body.

Albedo did not know how long he knelt there, how long he held her, his tears falling like quiet snowfall onto her still face. He might have stayed there forever, frozen in time, lost in a grief so deep it swallowed everything.

And when help finally arrived, when another voice called out his name, it barely registered.

Because Albedo, the so-called perfect being, the prototype of a god—was broken.

“I can’t lose you…” His voice was hoarse, broken. “I can’t. You’re the one thing in this world I can’t stand to lose… please… come back to me…” His lips parted, but his voice barely made it past them now, nothing more than a whisper. A plea. A confession.

“…I love you.”

And yet, no answer came. No movement. No breath.

Only silence.

[monoclesnapple]

Teefer Misser

Bungo Stray Dogs Chuuya Nakahara X Gender Neutral Reader Summary: Before Chuuya left, he had fangs. Now he has dents. Beginning Note: Spoilers for Season 5 and Chapter 114.5! (Imma just say, if you have an idea or a request, I encourage you to share! I'd love to receive any requests for the fandoms I write for [In my intro]) Chuuya calls you "Doll" once Word Count: 950 (Fluff/Little crack)

When Chuuya came home one night and told you that he had to leave to Europe for a while. you weren’t happy about the situation. You knew that the world was in danger and Chuuya had to play his part to prevent catastrophe, but that didn’t mean you were content with it. Still, you helped him ready himself, with the contacts and the fangs. Despite the dreadful atmosphere, you found it amusing that he had to look like a vampire. Sure, these types weren’t the sexy ones in fiction, but Chuuya pulled off the look.

Even with the red eyes, you loved his appearance, especially the clothing he was wearing. When he stood at the door, ready to depart to the Port Mafia headquarters for a final, unnecessary briefing, you kissed him goodbye. His lips molded to your own, tongues dancing together, feeling each other thoroughly for the last time until his return. You loved the feeling of his fangs, even though he loathed wearing them. They weren’t too sharp, but if you poked hard enough, it could cause a little spike of delicious pain.

Finally, the two of you separated and bid each other farewell. He left out the door and won’t come back for a while. During that time, your mind wandered to him. You looked forward to seeing him again, hoping he’d still have the fangs for just a tad longer so it could spice up your occasional entanglement. When Fyodor was killed and Chuuya could drop the act, he contacted you with his phone he kept on silent. Apparently, Mori had added glue to keep the fangs on.

While Chuuya thought it stupid and the worst situation, you found an opportunity in it. Guess he really can’t take them off, so you’ll send him to the dentist after you had some fun.

Unfortunately, everything was spiraling downhill, Fyodor wasn’t actually dead, and the new problem would take up a lot of time. You knew Chuuya couldn’t keep the accessory on for the whole time, but there was that slightest hope he could get used to it until he could properly set up an appointment with a dentist.

When he at last returned home, safe and eager to see you again, he pulled you into a kiss just like the one from the time he left. You ran your tongue along his teeth, but instead of feeling extensions of his teeth, you felt the opposite. Why did your tongue go straight, up, straight, and up again? Shouldn’t it either continue in a steady line, or down and away from his teeth?

Feeling the abnormality, you pulled away and pushed his lips up to reveal his teeth. He lightly protested, but allowed you to do so with sagging shoulders. What you found wasn’t exactly what you expected.

“Why are your teeth chipped?” you inquired, but you had an idea as to what happened.

“I uh..” Chuuya scratched his head awkwardly and averted his eyes, “I pulled off the fangs.”

“I know that, but why couldn’t you wait until after you came back? Or at least go to a dentist so they could handle it.”

“I didn’t wanna have to deal with them, so I got them off. ‘S fine, anyways, ‘m not dead.” He closed his eyes and crossed his arms.

You stared at him blankly before taking his wrist and taking him outside to his motorcycle. “Nope, you’re going to a dentist now, whether you like it or not. I’m not going to kiss my significant other if he has teeth missing all because he was too impatient to wait for a professional to handle things.”

“Wha?- Oi! Knock it off! I’m tired, and I doubt they’re even taking in anyone who just walks in without an appointment!” He tried to resist, but relented when he saw that you won’t back down.

“I don’t give a fuck if they’re not doing so, I’m going to ensure you get the treatment you need. Why couldn’t you even wait? Surely, you would’ve been able to get accustomed to the fangs.” You were in front of him on the bike, with his hands lazily around your waist. At least he had taught you how to drive a motorcycle, so now he doesn’t have to exhaust himself further by driving.

Chuuya groaned and rested his forehead on your back. “Not even gonna wear a helmet? Dangerous, Doll.”

“Like you wear one,” you muttered back. This was going to be a long night, but it’s his fault for chipping his teeth. In the back of your mind, you did feel bad that he couldn’t rest after coming back. You hadn’t accelerated yet, still parked, so you turned your head to him. “I’m sorry that you can’t relax after a long mission. We can just drive around and save the dental treatment for another time. I know you’re beyond exhausted.”

He moved his head to rest his chin on your shoulder and press a kiss to your cheek. “I’d love that. ‘M sorry for being such an idio-”

“My apologies for not caring. After this, I’ll prepare a bath for you and get some snacks. Then, we can just cuddle and watch a movie, yeah?” You tilted your head, keeping your eyes on him.

His eyes were closed as he imagined your suggestion, and smiled softly. “Mhm... I just wanna spend time with my love before I have to drown myself in paperwork. ‘S a plan.”

With that, you started the bike and sped along the streets, admiring the city lights. Chuuya may be impulsive, but at least he’s making his choices with the betterment of the world in mind. Some exceptions, though.

[themissingnumbers]

Hello, you wonderful people! I'm back, so you know what that means ;) It's everybody's favorite time—Theory Time! (More like me yapping about little things my brain hyperfocused on and wouldn't let me stop thinking about but I digress-) You all know how I function by now. I write things down in the order I think of them, so things are probably gonna be really scattered (also I'm writing this at 2:30 in the morning), but if you can look past all of that, then I hope you enjoy my ramblings.

In this Special Edition of The New Yap Times: More on the References, some Observations, and Assorted Theories.

Hoo-boy. Where do I even start? I never even know if my thoughts make sense before I write them down, so I guess we'll see where this goes lmao. Okay-

Talking Point 1: Fire.

Thoughts—I have many thoughts—so let's get started. Let's go over the flavor text in Fire's Reference first. That stuff gives me bad vibes. I don't like the way it makes me feel because I don't feel like it's Fire saying any of it. It's like a third party (Arceus?) trying to warn us using the reference as a medium. But, in the same breath, I'd also say that it sounds like a plea, or potentially a taunt. And maybe it's just me who feels like the flavor text over the spoiler guards is a taunt, because for me, whoever is speaking is right! Whoever is speaking is absolutely right about me—I would never hurt him, not intentionally at the very least—but don't tell me what I'm gonna do or what I'm thinking!

Okay, hear me out. I'm on the train of "If learning something about a character hurts them, then I'm okay not knowing", but I know that a lot of people aren't riding the same train as me. And that's exactly why the whole "You'd never hurt him like that. Of this, I am sure." line bothers me so much. I know players—nay—I know humans, and if anyone takes it as a taunt as I did initially, or, god forbid, as a challenge, then this whole thing could end in catastrophe for Fire. If whoever-the-fuck is writing/speaking the flavor text over the spoilers is using it as an elaborate plan to make us "betray" Fire and to make him trust people less when someone inevitably pushes things too far then I swear- Listen, and I hate using this phrase, but it's giving manipulation and I don't fuck with that. (<- is all of this Paranoia? Am I just being Paranoid? I think I may be Paranoid. I need to calm down-) (My brain goes in strange directions sometimes. I believe this is one of those times, but I still wrote it down anyway.)

OKAY, BUT ALSO- Why is Fire's base blacked out? Like, the only parts we can see are what I'm assuming are his Casual and his Trainer/Legendary clothes, and I can understand why the Soul form would be blacked out, but why the base? I'm just assuming that something in his design changed a lot, like his scars or something, so they blacked it out for a big reveal later down the line, but it still bugs me. Why would the most "vulnerable" and "real" parts of him be blacked out when it isn't for anyone else? Leaf, Blue, and Red all have their bases revealed with scars and all, but not Fire. Is the veil hiding some sort of vulnerability, and that's why it's in place? To keep Fire looking strong and like the "very best" that he's supposed to be? I'm not gonna point any fingers but, uh, I find it very suspicious that we're only seeing the perfect and put-together "Fire" Red that Arceus wants the world to see.

The second thing I wanna talk about is the fact that Fire is Friendless. Like, for a man of such status, surely he has some friends, right? Well, no... Not anymore at least. I know this sounds weird, and that my brain does odd things, but let me tell you why I'm pointing this out. Let's go over Fire's friends list real quick. I think we got: Blue, Leaf, and Gold. Some of you may say that Leaf doesn't count, and that's okay, but I say she does. And Red isn't on this list because I don't think they've ever met face-to-face in canon before. Anyways, let's go over those three relationships, shall we? While I'm not 100% sure about most of these, I'm going to describe what I've picked up about their relationships and how I see them.

Blue/Fire: Complicated. That's all I can really say about these two, is that it's complicated. If my memory serves, I think that complicated is how Starry described their relationship too, so I can't call them enemies, but I definitely can't call them friends either.

Leaf/Fire: Strained. While it's probably not as complicated as whatever the fuck Blue and Fire have going on, it's definitely complex. It's not a friendship with these two, it's a familial relationship, and that's what makes it difficult. I'm sure that, deep inside somewhere, both Leaf and Fire still love each other—they're siblings after all—but that all of the stuff that's happened in their lives has opened up a giant ravine between them that neither of them knows how to bridge. They can't close that gap, so their relationship is strained. They love each other, but the tension between them is palpable. There's bitterness, there's anger, there's resentment, there's regret and sadness, and maybe if you look hard enough—there might just be a flicker of longing in both of them to repair their relationship. But for now, they're miles apart, and it doesn't look like they're getting closer any time soon. I wouldn't call those two friends.

Gold/Fire: We'll... I'm sure that these two were good friends at one point. Fire still thinks about him, and even seems to miss him or grieve him. But unfortunately, Gold is Dead, so we'll never truly know unless Fire decides to confide in us about it.

Now, it just seems like Fire really doesn't have any friends. And I would have let all of this slide had it not been for ONE THING. The Espeon. Fire's Espeon was always a point of interest for me because I wondered where it went and what the Missing Numbers creators were going to do with the missing Pokémon. As it turns out, the Espeon is now in Leaf's possession. Initially, I was like "Oh okay that's kinda cool" but now I'm like "WAIT-! SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THIS!" Why is it that the only Pokémon in Fire's Team to Evolve via Friendship was removed from his party? Had this just been either the Espeon or the strained/distant relationships, I wouldn't have noticed anything, but this cannot be a coincidence. Nothing is a coincidence in Missing Numbers. With how the universe keeps removing friends from his life, it's like he's purposefully being Isolated to an extreme degree. Like something or someone wants him to be completely alone...

AND THE LAST THING ABOUT FIRE- (I'm so sorry for yapping about Fire this much, I swear. I told you I had a lot of thoughts, and there's still more after this.) That section in his new Bio/Description saying "But every time he vanishes and appears again, it's always from that same mountain, his gaze duller at every return." gave me an entire theory all on its own. What if all of the isolation is intentional? What if Arceus is intentionally ruining all of Fire's relationships, killing his friends and pulling him away from his family, isolating him from the world at the top of a freezing-cold mountain (I'm assuming with the help of Leaf under the guise of "protecting him") where none of his Pokémon can safely exit their Pokéballs without risking death? We know that Fire is a pretty warm individual beneath that cold exterior—he's a sweetheart—and Arceus doesn't want him to be. What if Arceus is trying to (no pun intended) ice out what little bit of emotional warmth and personality that Fire has left in him, and is slowly succeeding? Like, he's trying to snuff out the real Fire and leave behind the Red husk that he wants as his perfect protagonist.

Jesus Christ, finally- Talking Point 2: Red. (I know, we're going right back to a Red. But these next parts are going to be smaller than Fire's don't worry-)

Man, this weirdo... Where do I even start with him? First things first, let's lock in on that skin of his bruh. WHY does he look like that??? The only time I've ever seen any person with skin even remotely like his is when looking at people with Albinism, and even they aren't that white. Red is like... ghostly white. White as a sheet. Dead as a damn Doornail white. I don't know how to describe him other than the fact that he looks dead! Genuinely! I guess that my current running theory is still kinda similar to the Parasite one I made a while back, but like... worse??? (I've been at this for 5 hours straight. Can you tell I'm running out of steam?) I feel like I don't know enough to make a proper theory about him yet; like I need to reevaluate everything I've been seeing this far like I did with Fire. Is Red really Red? Is it just a small part of him that's there? Is it MissingNo in Red's body, using his memories to try and trick us? He kept mentioning "the right opportunity" back when we were talking with him. When is that opportunity? What does it look like? How much has changed behind the scenes? And how is that one little "Hey. That's private. :/" thing a secret when he LITERALLY spilled his guts not even two inches to the left? I don't know! There are too many questions and I'm too tired to answer them myself this time. :|

Talking Point 3: Something much smaller this time :]

Okay, I guess I'll throw in some of the random bits and things I thought of that didn't really get a whole spot. (This is already too long-)

Is it just me, or does the flavor text kinda read like an automated voice message? Like "Sorry! The number you have dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service." type stuff, which kinda fits with the theme of Blue being a busybody and always doing something, or that's what I get from his new Bio at least. To me, Leaf's flavor text kinda reads as bitter. You already know what I think about Fire's flavor text, and Red's is... Yeah, that's just him talking.

Also, Green is hella cool! That mask is sick! (Psst! Mod Hells! Hey, you make a cool ass character homie. I like their mysteriousness and look forward to seeing more of them. Keep it up!)

And, closing statements time! Jesus, I'm gonna apologize again for how long this is. I didn't mean to make it super messy like this but it's currently 7 something in the morning for me and my brain shut off halfway through writing this, so... whoops :/ Anyway, funny story really quick! Starry, I know you had no idea you even did this, so I gotta tell you. The day after I posted that Character Reference Analysis thingy, I ended up getting sick and was messed up for a couple of days, but then you posted that drawing of Aster and I swear to you it was like you shocked my body back into being healthy because 24 hours later I'm damn near over the sickness and am phasing out the last of my symptoms as I write this. So, I know you didn't mean to, but thanks anyway! :D

Okay! And with that out of the way, I think that's all, folks! I hope you enjoyed this odd edition of my thoughts. Until next time. Thank you for reading The New Yap Times!

.

[caramel1mochi]

So I love Jollz and joshseki but nobody writes about valorant streamers 😔

I was wondering if you would??

Like ik jollz makes a ton of mom tokes all the time but what if he secretly had like a wife or something?? He's 30 now so he'd probably be married for a couple of years and he randomly says something about his relationship on stream or like reader walks in during a stream by accident not remembering hes streaming?

And joshseki has a girlfriend he met through valorant and they started living together? Like his chat randomly starts noticing pink stuff around his gaming room and stuff (like they share a gaming room) and start getting suspicious?

IDKK I just love them both and I think stories about the two would be so cute. And I think if someone starts writing about the two then maybe more would start as well. I know you're in the middle of an iso series right now but I like your writing because of how good and long they are.

Heya, thanks for the request! And your kind words, got me smiling like an idiot for too long haha‎ ‎  Also so sorry for the delay, literally everything happened when you sent this I am fish and the reckoning cinematic is my water I just CAN'T stop watching  ‎ ‎‎‎‎ Writing about real people is a very new concept for me so I hope I did well on this. Have a good read!‎! ‎ ‎

[ Jollz x F! Reader ] / [ Joshseki x F! Reader ]

Words: 1k each‎ ‎ 

Note: Please don't copy or steal my work and pass it off as your own! If you'd like to use one of my headcanons or something, I'd love it if you tagged or asked.‎ ‎‎ ‎  

。+❤ฺ·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ· +❤·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ·

Jollz!

This morning had been a slow one for Jollz. His routine was the same as any other one. He woke up, washed up, and went to the kitchen to make his morning coffee whilst chatting with you. He had a timer on his phone to specifically announce when he should get to his office to start streaming. But even after it struck and he had arrived to turn on his computer, he didn’t gain any of the energy he normally had every other day.

Moving his mouse felt like a drag, let alone actually focusing on the upcoming game. And the topic that the chat had taken up once people had gathered didn’t exactly help either; people mostly started comparing their morning routines after their previously relaxed greetings spiralled.

‎ 

‘Yo whats ur morning routine?’

‎ 

“Guys, this is gonna be hard to believe, but my morning routine isn’t crazy. It’s ten minutes long.”

‎ 

He tapped his index finger on the mousepad as he read a few responses from the chatters. This drab talk about morning routines was definitely not on his list of ‘entertaining things to talk about’, and it only further exhausted him.

‎ 

“Yeah, no, I’m only playing a couple games today. No idea why I’m so tired, though.”

‎ 

‘only single people have 10 min morning routines’

‎ 

‘facts’

‎ 

A few other people were also quick to agree with this sentiment; all except for the obvious, Jollz, and he couldn’t help but laugh at this exchange with a particularly prideful smile. He sat back and smugly checked out his nails as he spoke,

‎ 

“Trueee. Single people have way too much time on their hands. Glad I'm not one of them.”

‎ 

He knew exactly what he was doing with these words. And almost as if it were on cue, his smile only widened to a grin once he saw the stream of oncoming messages the moment he stopped talking. And he didn’t really need to read anything to know that they were demanding an explanation for such a bold statement.

Now this was the excitement he was used to, he mused.

‎ 

“‘What do you mean by that?’ I’m just saying what we’re all thinking here.”

‎ 

‘Jollz youre speaking in code’

‎ 

“Speaking in code? That’s wild...”

‎ 

The door behind him swung open, and a set of gentle knocks that accompanied them interrupted the entertainment he was deriving from the catastrophe. Luckily, by the sound of the steps he heard earlier, Jollz already knew it was you before he turned around to meet your gaze.

‎ 

“Hey, babe, are you…”

‎ 

He stopped once he noticed the full cup of coffee in your hands, and the lack of steam from the drink was enough to tell him what you didn’t need to say. Jollz had forgotten the coffee he made in the kitchen this morning. Again.

Which also explained why he was so bloody tired, but that’s by the by.

‎ 

“Wait, hold on, listen–”

‎ 

“This is the third time this week.”

‎ 

Jollz sat up with a guilty smile as you approached with his cup, and he couldn’t help but scramble for reasons to defend himself.

‎ 

“Fair point, but…”

‎ 

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I can’t help you if a fly ever happens to drown in this.”

‎ 

Of course you’d say that, he thought. The mere thought of a fly grossed you out, let alone digging one’s corpse out of a drink.

‎ 

“Yeah, so, in all fairness, I actually had something scheduled.”

‎ 

“Today?” 

‎ 

You stopped at his desk and set down the cup in an empty spot on his desk, but there were a multitude of tabs open on one monitor and Valorant proudly displayed on the other. They all seemed to be calling for your attention. You were only vaguely familiar with most of the software that he had open; however, it wasn’t exactly hard to isolate the chat amongst everything. It rapidly moved with messages you couldn’t read from this distance. But the worst part was that you could see your own reflection on the webcam as you stood behind him.

Uh oh.

Your attire, being a casual nightgown, did not meet the standards expected of someone standing in front of a bloody audience. Well, not your standards, anyway. A tinge of red painted your cheeks once you’d finally put two-and-two together.

‎ 

“You didn’t tell me you were streaming today. Am I interrupting?”

‎ 

“Oh yeah, totally. It was intense before you came in. VCT-level gameplay.”

‎ 

You lightly laughed once he pointed to the timer whilst it searched for a game before pulling him close and planting a kiss on his cheek.

‎ 

“I’ll let you handle it. Best of luck, dear.”

‎ 

Cheeky, you mused to yourself as you walked out of the room. But being the guy who always resorted to knifing everyone whenever he could, it made sense for him to be just that.

‎ 

“Thanks babe.” He took a sip shortly after, grimacing at the temperature before he set it down. “Ice cold coffee, my favourite.”

‎ 

That one sip seemed to work in rejuvenating him, however, and he was definitely grateful for that. Only now did he actually take notice of what the flood of messages were actually saying. And once they came down from their shock, they inferred exactly what was going on.

‎ 

‘dear 🥺’

‎ 

‘Girlfriend’

‎ 

‘ya thats his gf alright’

‎ 

Quick on his feet, he prepared another statement sure to stir the pot that was his viewers’ confusion.

‎ 

“Why’s ‘girlfriend’ your first guess? She could be my friend’s mom, for all you know, and they’re just visiting today.”

‎ 

‘That’s not stopping you jollz 💀💀💀’

‎ 

‘YOU CALLED HER BABE’

‎ 

They shortly spammed the words ‘babe’ and ‘thanks babe’ to subtly remind him of how he referred to you earlier.

To put it kindly, this statement was instantaneously shot down by the chatters. If their words weren’t indicative of that, the emotes they typed out alongside their growing surprise definitely made it clear. Besides, it wasn’t that hard to tell, considering you were exactly Jollz’s type, down to the mellow tone of your voice.

‎ 

‘is she actually ur gf tho’

‎ 

“Bro, don’t act confused. I’ve been wearing my wedding ring the whole time; you should’ve seen it by now.”

‎ 

His viewers flooded the chat with demands to be shown this mysterious ring he spoke of. And at that, he held up his hand with faux ignorance to reveal the multitude of rings he wore. Somehow, both this and the ‘clarifying’ statement only further confused the chatters.

Girlfriend, sure, but marriage? They probably would’ve doubted it if they hadn’t seen concrete proof mere minutes ago. Oh, but it technically should’ve been easy for them to infer his relationship status on account of the one secured around his ring finger. Not that it blended in, or anything.

‎ 

“It’s right here,” he extended his ring finger, “get it together, chat.”

‎ 

He teased with a cheeky smile before lifting his cold drink for another sip. If the coffee wasn’t quick enough to energise him, this conversation surely did.

Joshseki!

Josh’s gaming room was quite a minimalistic one. Despite having a notable array of colours that pleasantly complemented each other, they were still muted; and the structure of the furniture he’d picked out was delicately balanced between comfortable and presentable.

All of it fit his calm personality to a tee (when he wasn’t playing Valorant), and was also easy on the eyes. Especially for the viewers.

So during one particularly annoying game, once Josh unknowingly shifted his chair to the right as he spoke to his teammate, an annoying Reyna, one of his viewers’ eyes immediately locked on the hazy pink object that was set on the American sycamore dresser a few feet away. To say the bright pink item stood out despite the distance and the pixelation would be a massive understatement, and the fact that it sat there with no explanation only increased their curiosity to an exponential degree.

The only viewer who actually noticed this decided to type out his question,

‎ 

‘josh whats that behind u’

‎ 

Unfortunately for them, however, he didn’t catch the question amongst the onslaught of similar messages that were flooding the chat referencing the toxic duellist he was currently dealing with.

The game had been going on for nearly two hours, and the twentieth round promptly ended in a loss. Once they respawned and the overtime pop-up box appeared, everyone except for him immediately voted for the game to continue. Only one vote was required for it to end in a draw. He sat back with a sigh and took off his headphones so as to not listen to the demands of his teammates.

This seemingly simple move, however, covered up the pink object behind him.

‎ 

“What did I tell you, chat? This is what happens when I’m not the instalock. I’m drawing; I don’t care.”

‎ 

‘WHATS THAT BEHIND U\’

‎ 

The moment Josh looked towards the chat for a response, they quickly snatched up the opportunity and asked, but their message was drowned out by a union of agreement on their side.

‎ 

“‘Draw?’ Let’s go. See, I knew you guys would come around.”

‎ 

And with that, the game ended. He luckily couldn’t hear anything his teammates were saying since his headphones were off. He shortly grabbed them once they were all disconnected and went to put them on. An off-screen voice came up from the other side of the room before he could, asking a question muffled to the chat.

‎ 

“Yeah, I closed the door.”

‎ 

He responded, and the chat was overwhelmed with ‘who?’ and variations of the simple question. The voice increased in volume once more, presumably in response to his statement, and he looked back with a wide grin.

‎ 

“When’d he get here? Chat, wait, I have to take care of Nogu.”

‎ 

Josh stood up and walked out of the camera’s frame, revealing both the pink object and a baby pink dress splayed out on the couch. If that object and the mysterious voice didn’t cause enough of a fuss, this one absolutely did, and the chat erupted with even more questions despite him not being present.

He grabbed the cat from the other side of the room and left so he could put her outside. And by the time he came back, it had been discovered that the mysterious pink object was lipstick, further increasing their suspicions that there was another person in the room. And to say Josh came back to chaos would be a gross understatement.

He was bombarded with questions the moment he sat down and put his headphones back on. But after about a minute of staring blankly and attempting to decipher them, he managed to catch a repetitive question asked over and over.

‎ 

“‘Is the dress a gift?’ Chat, not every gift should be a Valorant skin. But no, it’s not.”

‎ 

He seemingly mistook their intention behind the question as he queued into another game, much to their frustration, and they responded the only sensible way before he’d move on from the topic.

‎ 

‘WHY IS THERE A DRESS’

‎ 

“It’s for my girlf–”

‎ 

“Josh, he’s still ruining my game!”

‎ 

The same voice spoke loudly from behind him once more. This time, however, it was audible enough and allowed the chat to finally comprehend what was being said. But before any more investigation could occur, a mysterious woman, you, popped up into the frame with the same rascal of a cat that spent the past twenty minutes sleeping on your keyboard and ruining your own game.

‎ 

“You watched me close the door this time!”

‎ 

“Yeah! He probably snuck through the opening.”

‎ 

It sounded plausible enough, what with how flexible the feline was and the considerably large opening just beneath the white door. You set him outside the corridor as Josh followed your movements, pushing Nogu away until he was at a safe distance before slamming the door shut. Then, you walked away, noticing a few seconds later what all of the confusion was about.

‎ 

“Hi chat! That’s my dress.”

‎ 

You pointed at the now-obscured lace dress before disappearing and going back to your setup. Once he turned his chair to face the monitor, he noticed the chaos that ensued in the chat, especially the flow of messages that were too quick for him to keep up with.

‎ 

“You guys heard that? It’s her dress.”

‎ 

The announcer’s voice immediately interrupted his words, and he was launched into the game. But the chat mulled over the design of the dress as Josh aimed to pick Reyna the moment he was allowed to. Despite only seeing it for a few seconds, they noted its formality…

Definitely a date night, huh?

[amaryllis-sagitta]

You might have posts about this already but I was wondering what your take on bringing down the Veil vs keeping it was?

I used to be pro-keep the Veil in Trespasser bc it was unclear what exactly would happen to the other races. But DAV makes it sounds like it'd be demons and Blight doing the damage and like, even with the Veil up it's been a problem? Taking the Veil down might actually be a way to finally resolve the issue? At the same time I get the mythological aspect (for Solavellan) of the Dreadwolf trapping himself + the Herald of Andraste joining the Maker but what about Thedas? And if Solas' lifeforce sustains the Veil and maybe makes it harder for demons to cross and manages to stop the Blight from leaking... what about the trapped spirits? But also Solas is clinging to a culture that has been long dead so keeping the Veil up = him moving on from the past???

Idk rn I haven't done deep enough lore analysis to manage to know where I stand, so I'm curious about your take on it is

This one is a doozy because there are sooo many factors

I'd like to approach this question from several angles:

What is the Veil really and what does it do?

What drives Solas to take it down?

What are the possible consequences of Solas taking it down?

What does the Veilguard do with the questions 1-3?

What is the Veil?

Early Chantry & Tevinter sources (from DAO mostly) claim that the Fade is purely spiritual in nature, and the Veil is a universal, nonspacial boundary between realms. There was a Codex in DAI I think that hinted the Veil is purely an epistemic boundary between states of consciousness. However, the events in DAI disprove these claims since the Inquisitor is taken to the "Raw Fade", a section of the Fade where one can travel physically; thus confirming the Magister Sidereal story about physical traversal into the Fade. Solas recognizes the Raw Fade as a section particularly "close" to the Black City (bearing in mind that the topography of the Fade is warped, so that the Black City is the epicenter seen from every "location" in the Fade).

Following this, it seems that the Veil is an all-encompassing boundary within the world, that separates sections of both the spiritual and the physical world at the same time. A long time ago there was an amazing lore theory that the Veil is like an interaction of wavelengths.

What I write in the following paragraph is my synthetic conjecture from the lore up to Trespasser: the Fade is like an egg (sic), with the Black City being the yolk, the spirit essence being the white, and the Veil being the shell. Solas's intention, as revealed in DATV, was to build a barrier around the Evanuris -- but something very different happened. As a result, it seems that the spirit essence got grabbed and squished around the Black City by that very barrier, creating the weird topology of the modern Fade.

There were many theories concerning the very structure of the world - some claimed the "one world" was vertically aligned between the skies and the earth, there was a thorus theory and non-Euclidean theories... what is sufficient for now is speculation that "when the world was one", the Crossroads and possibly the spirit realm too were placed in the physical sky, and that the Veil closed off a layer of that sky along with the Black City (there was a lot of speculation based on myths and stuff like the Inquisitor in DAI "falling upwards" through the rift to justify this).

It is not entirely clear to me whether Solas foresaw that his move would deprive practically half the world of its spiritual infusion, and as it follows, its "primal magic" and all that resulted from it. He quite likely didn't. The arc including DATV consequently portrays Solas as a character full of catastrophic mistakes and collaterals, as a foil to the Executors teased as masterminds of the keikaku doori.

Until the Magisters Sidereal, something held the Black City contained within itself. Solas reveals in DATV that the Magisters Sidereal breached the prison he made for the Evanuris, and because of that, the Blight contained in the Black City started leaking into the Fade and the physical world.

But there is more to it. Here's another piece that is purely my speculation: the Blight is just one of the ways the Void manifests itself in the world, and the Black City should be primarily considered a place of the Void. In fact, I uphold that the Void is a "productive negative" to the everything that's covered by the allegories of light & earth in Thedosian lore. Another way the "voidening" of the world can be observed, metaphysically speaking, is the deprivation of virtue, and that includes spirits turning into demons. The fact that a powerful Nightmare Demon has its lair in the Raw Fade might prove that whatever is in the Black City has a corrupting influence on the spirits as well - it either attracts demons by virtue of holding a memory of the Magisters Sidereal, or it proactively infuses spirits with evil, so to speak.

If my speculation makes sense, this would be a deeper, hidden pretext to want Fade spirits to disperse further away from the Black City, actually.

So, why does Solas want to take the Veil down? What does he think he will accomplish?

We get several layers of explanation in this matter. In DAI, he sarcastically mentions

"[He has no ideas] Not unless we collapse the Veil and bring the Fade here so I can casually reshape reality."

This jab with the low approval Inquisitor is noticed as foreshadowing, but not as often used when arguing what Solas's true goal is. Commonly, the discourse happens about the post-credit scene and Trespasser, where he puts more emphasis on "his people needing him", on elves losing their magic and immortality.

This is a point of contention in the fandom but personally, I do not entirely agree with a common claim that the sociopolitical layer of it all is his main motivation. Yes, he does look down on the mortals of Thedas and distances himself personally from modern elves. Yes, he needs convincing that post-Veil mortals deserve recognition in their appropriate metaphysical condition. Yes, only a year before DAI he killed/ "tranquilized" his best friend who claimed that mortal elves like Briala deserve a chance. Yes, he goes Farquaad on several occasions, acknowledging that taking the Veil down will likely have many casualties. Personally, I view this partly as a result of Solas's severe dissociation from corporeal existence that results from him regretting having joined the world, his long slumber and his confusion after millennia of absence.

What he really needs from the "un-Veiling" is the return of the primal magic and the Fade spirits "down under". The juxtaposition between him and Elgar'nan serves to show the difference between Elgar'nan as a full-fledged egotistical tyrant with an endless desire for worship and control, and Solas as a deeply opinionated and stubborn idealist who will use manipulation and violence when things don't go the way he thinks they should (or the way Mythal desires...). Despite similarly big egoes and a similar sense of self-righteousness, Solas holds a genuine attachment to some humanitarian ideals that drive him to incite his rebellion, advocate negative freedom and equity, and free slaves also in the post-Veil physical world.

Other than that, the confirmation of the spirit origin theory means that by "his people", Solas means Fade spirits arm in arm with the elvhen who formed bodies. It is confirmed by notes from Vir Dirthara that the two races maintained fraternal relationships after the manifestation of the elvhen.

This, of course, carries catastrophic consequences. As far as Trespasser goes, these are very vaguely hinted; but what is certain, many people will not survive. The phrase he says in Trespasser is

"I will save the elven people. Even if this world must die."

"[...] the return of my people means the end of yours."

In The Dread Wolf Take You, he tells Charter:

"I have no choice. What I am doing will save this world, and those like you -- the elves who still remain -- may even find it better, when it's done." [P. Weekes, The Dread Wolf Take You, Tevinter Nights, Titan Books & BioWare 2020, p. 506]

So, at that point, he believes at least some elves will survive the catastrophe, but they will transform into a different people. As for other races - I don't think he really knows, so he assumes the worst, because every time he meddled with the fabric of reality, things went to absolute shit. He is really misleading with his equivocations here - as demonstrated, he uses "death" literally when it comes to potential casualties, but his intentions seem more aligned with the transitional and transformative metonymy of "death", especially when he speaks about the world at large.

Then, in DATV, he claims what he seeks is "restoration", which has a double meaning too - it's a change towards what had already been, but also -- healing. He repeats the phrase about the Veil being a wound that can't be allowed to prevail because through it, the organism is weakened and exposed to further injury and infection. And the broader context of DATV hints that this threat for Thedas isn't the Blight that came from within the world, but something external, yet unexplored.

In Metaphysics of Thedas, I have thought about what "this world" means in the context of the culminating scene of Tevinter Nights. Allow me to just self-plagiarize:

"The first time Fen'Harel mentions "this world", he means the destruction of the Veil and the post-Veil world order. But the second time, he mentions saving "this world"; he must mean something different. I think that, once we break that equivocation down, then the "world" in the second sentence means greater stakes, "all creation", just as he mentioned when he chastized the participants of the Mortalitasi's ritual. If there is any truth to this warning from Fen'Harel, the current order of the world is on a crash course towards collapse unless a demigod corrects his mistake." [source]

In the context of The Dread Wolf Take You and the secret ending of DATV, it likely has something to do with the Executors and "The Devouring Storm" that the Evanuris also fought. In that full context, taking the Veil down was built up as something Solas views as necessary in order to fend a greater danger off -- perhaps mistakenly, perhaps there was a different way to achieve it (as hinted by Callback from Tevinter Nights). Based on pre-DATV media, there is a way to see a setup for the Inquisitor and Varric to dissuade Solas, or maybe even to agree with his motives to a degree.

Still, the "death of the world" is as radical as it gets, and I firmy believe it starts from the metaphysical order, thought the most igniting and the most emphasized about it is the potential loss of life on the Waking side, and Solas's readiness to accept casualties results from him foreseeing the sheer amount of chaos a catastrophe of this scale will cause, and the upheaval that will follow, rather than fully calculated and deliberate killing. The difference lies in intentions and not necessarily in results, which to many will not be much of an argument. Applied ethics would grasp it through the doctrine of a double effect. The principle goes this way: An action, brought about for a purpose viewed as unequivocally good, has a catastrophic side effect. The said catastrophic effect can sometimes be more permissible if it was "merely foreseen" and not used as a means to an end.

This, I believe, is the way Solas justifies himself: the destruction of the post-Veil world order (so, the deaths, the destruction of infrastructure and societies) is not something he deliberately wants to do in order to restore the spirits and ubiquitous magic to the Waking world. It is something he "merely foresees" as a likely consequence, and what drives him is the preservation of "all creation", possibly.

What also matters is that he brings the Veil down the way he wants, in a controlled manner - which is why the ancient devices from DAI actually strengthened the Veil, and Solas frowned upon a thought of the Wardens killing the remaining Archdemons in their sleeps and thus making the remaining Evanuris expire abruptly - which would make the Veil degrade outside Solas's control and possibly even make the Black City burst open and unleash all the tainted bullshit, that would have destroyed the pre-Veil world had Solas not contained it.

And this is where we arrive to the most confusing part:

What does DATV do with that story arc?

Well, Veilguard unambiguously links Solas's plan with "drowning the world in demons" and going full Farquaad on the population of Thedas, and Rook gets multiple opportunities to either rant about how fake he is when he presents his perspective, or to psychoanalyze Solas with an intention of outsmarting or defeating him in the end. Throughout the game, we can see Fade rifts opening again everywhere, albeit they only seem to serve game mechanics, and they... seal themselves as soon as the enemy waves expire? The factor of gradual degradation that was hinted in the context of the Veil before (even when we activated the blasted Veil strengthening orbs, one of whom even Lucanis & Illario found during The Wigmaker Job) isn't showed very clearly here imo -- neither has it transformed into rapid degradation that would change the situation significantly.

Then, no matter what ending we choose, he ends up with the Veil bound to his lifeforce, and apparently also fully healed because... he isn't tainted? Because the Evanuris are out of the picture, so the taint is weaker and less aggressive now and nature is healing? I cannot lie, this conclusion sounds like a plot hole resulting from the need to funnel down the plot by its end. The nuance of the Veil situation might have been written off becuse it legitimately warranted a branching choice that, perhaps, sounded too Mass Effect 3: Defeat Solas and Keep the Veil Up, informed by DATV default state, Cooperate with Solas and Take the Veil Down, or Find a Middle Ground that acknowledges both sides and and make Solas deliver on his multiple promises to "minimize the damage".

Personally, I wish we had seen the Veil go down in the end, even as a branching scenario -- partly because it would have been a bold move, partly because it was teased in tidbits like Kordillus Drakon's prophecy of the Maker's return and Sandal's moment of prophecy from DA 2. It sounded like a worthy culmination to this series' apocalyptic themes, and a more organically tragic way to wrap up that part of the setting and leave a nearly clean slate for a ton of new worldbuilding.

[yuseirra]

At this point, I have no idea if people are refusing to believe in this idea or are simply overlooking it because I'd been explaining it over, and over and over, I'm not sure if people simply don't care about this or if I'm not good at explaining things, I don't know who to blame. It feels like looking at a wall sometimes and that's EXACTLY what this author set things up for, I have to let it out again because it's hard to see

LISTEN, THESE CHARACTERS ARE REINCARNATED GODS. AI IS THE WIFE WHILE HIKARU'S THE HUSBAND DEITY. You all know this by now, right? They're a fated pair. He went insane because his wife got killed on the premise that she had his kids. This even parallels with one of Japan's most famous legends involving the creator gods.

Idk if you could blame him for all the catastrophic events that played out after that, but if you blame Hikaru for what's happened to Ai, you're playing right into this author's hands and strengthening this weird idea he has about 'the public never caring about the truth", that's why he set things up the way it is in the story. You're pulled into blame Hikaru all along, call him names, accuse him of being a psycho, but in the end, there is no solid proof that he actually did anything to Ai, is it? They sincerely loved each other and honestly, you can't really blame the either of them and say they were wrong, it was the public image of idols and social pressure and the abuse they both experienced that caused them to separate, unwillingly on both sides.

The writing is so malicious at that because it leaves people in the dark and vaguely gestures at everyone saying "people are bad" but it never clears things up, which it should have. This is my biggest pet peeve about this story because the more you blame Hikaru, you're going to be exactly the kind of people this work actually looks down upon and that's not fair to the readers. That's what this work is doing, don't fall for it!!

You know, the other day:

I didn’t know what white roses meant, so I looked it up, right.

“I have only you, you are my one and only” / “You are my everything”

“I love only you”

“I will love you forever.” <— That’s the meaning behind it

Wow… if that was intentional, it’s honestly really pitiable…;;; seriously, it’s heartbreaking…

In my opinion—when Hikaru puts on a suit and carries flowers—it seems like he just wants to go see Ai. Doesn’t it feel like he dresses up nicely because he wants to appear his best when he goes to see her? ( I drew something like that when the manga wasn't over)

What frustrated me so much while reading this manga was:

Why is it that what seems so obvious to me… isn’t visible to others? That made it all the more painful!!!

Right now, this person is really not doing well!!! He’s not someone who would hurt Ai!!! Didn’t he just want to send flowers? That’s the impression I got, but… ah…

Even though I’ve said this so many times, people just don’t seem to believe it, because the author wrote the story the way they did.

But this isn’t that hard to understand,

If you just identify which deity the shrine in the story is dedicated to and is worshipped there,

And realize that the songs are not from Aqua’s perspective, but from Kamiki’s,

Then that’s it… it's over.

Why don’t people do that? Why can’t they see that?

It’s not even that difficult. Sure, you need some background knowledge of mythology, and yes, that can be a cultural barrier,

I didn't know that myth myself. I researched all about it after I got into this work.

But the specific shrine—why it appears, why Kamiki asks for a wish, why he shows up near it, why Aqua says "he’ll ruin the future," and why his name is Kamiki Hikaru…

Ai is his wife. She represents the goddess Amenouzume. He’s the husband deity Sarutahiko.

There are just so many elements that can only be explained through this interpretation.

Ugh… look, there’s the goddess of entertainment, right? I keep coming back to what I said before:

She and her husband must have had a really good relationship.

People call them a fated couple, to the extent that even a belief that because the shrines of Sarutahiko and Ame-no-Uzume come as a pair, if you go to both in turn, you'll meet a good match. Don' t you think that's why Ai is all about love. The goddess blesses love because she found herself her fated guy. She chose him.

They even have altars where each shrine hosts the other's deity. Couples go there to wish for good fortune in love.

In the mythology, it feels like Uzume just grabbed her husband and they instantly got together.

So when Ai and Hikaru say things like "I want to be with them forever" regarding the other—that’s not just empty talk… that’s foreshadowing. That’s factual referencing.

The author is honestly kind of twisted. Because if you search Aratate Shrine?

Its description literally says that Ame-no-Uzume and her husband are such an ideal couple that people go there to pray for love, or even hold weddings there.

Why write something like this using deities who had such a loving relationship? It’s just too much.

But even then, it could’ve worked—if the story had clearly communicated the intended message.

There was a message they could’ve delivered, I see it so well and yet, it’s hard to say they really did that—since most readers don’t seem to know the whole truth. Isn’t it difficult to figure out just by reading the manga?

It feels less like the author wanted to convey something, and more like they just… mumbled to themselves, like “See? People are always like this…”

If only they had explained it, then everyone would have understood! But they refuse to do so.

I’m telling you, Kamiki and Ai really had a beautiful relationship!

That’s why, when Ai died, he completely lost it. He dropped everything, said he couldn’t live without her, that he would give up everything, even die in her place—he just wanted to see her again. That’s what he keeps crying about in the songs.

The intensity of that emotion is so strong.

And it’s the kind of emotion that could only come from a genuine and deep love.

In fact, this part of his feelings doesn’t even seem harmful to me.

(It'd actually be pretty disrespectful if the original gods had such a good relationship, and this story distorts that into something twisted. I don’t think that matches what the work should be trying to convey. Actually, the way Ai and Hikaru think about each other is really beautiful…

We need to look at things objectively and neutrally. If you just look at how Ai and Hikaru express themselves toward each other, there aren’t any particularly bad feelings there. Even if everyone around them says, “They’re bad,” “Kamiki’s true nature…,” “He’s our mother’s enemy!” and all that. That's actually all baseless!! It's unfair to just jump in and judge when we don't know what's actually happened!!)

And coincidentally, the god that Kamiki is based on—Sarutahiko—was also misunderstood and treated like a monster, even though he had good intentions.

If we take that into account too, things start to come into focus. You start getting the full picture.

That god didn’t do anything but just stand there, yet all the other gods were afraid of him… except Ame-no-Uzume, who came to his side. And they fell in love and got married. That’s the story.

Maybe in the manga, the two of them lived together, or Ai visited Kamiki’s place often.

Remember? Ai’s toothbrush was at his house.

In the Aratate Shrine description, it says that when Ame-no-Uzume and Sarutahiko met, they liked each other so much they hurriedly built a house and lived together right away—that’s where the shrine’s name comes from: “tree” + “build roughly”

That’s literally what it means!

So maybe that’s what happened with them, too—they met, hit it off so well they started living together, and then they ended up having kids at such a young age…

Seems like the gods they were based on were exactly like that—falling in love instantly and getting together.

They had many descendants, and apparently the current priests and priestesses at Sarutahiko/Ame-no-Uzume-related shrines are said to be their actual descendants.

Those gods are basically treated as a pair. They just had a really good relationship…

Honestly, with how this manga ends, it does feel like Sarutahiko-no-Okami was at fault regarding what happened in this manga's ending!

Of all things, that god has a legend where he drowns to death—

So the author probably tried to incorporate that in a twisted way and decided to build idea of the ending from there.

What exactly did Kamiki even do to Ai?

Maybe he did do something in madness because he missed her too much after she passed… (though even that is really unclear???)

But the god he’s based on is one who leads things in a good direction.

So it seems that when he himself is in a bad, unstable state (when his eyes are black by a lack of love), then passively—without even trying—his presence ends up warping things.

From a certain point, when he speaks, everything starts to go wrong, and that ripple effect ends up hurting even him.

It’s like the outcomes he gets are never what he wanted.

That’s how Ai died.

That’s when he completely lost his mind.

That’s why the song is titled “Fatal.”

You all understand this by now, don't you all? You know this is how things played out?

But is this a good story?

No, because the author never explained anything.

I understand what’s going on, and it’s just so hard to bear;;

The author left without revealing it.

Everything is so suffocating, the characters are so pitiful, and combined with people’s reactions, it’s just awful on so many levels…

Because people aren’t reaching conclusions after truly understanding. That’s not right.

Seeing that kind of situation is so painful.

And it makes me mad that the author seems to be encouraging it, only to go, “People don’t care about the truth,” lol… That’s so petty and malicious??

It’s like they think their readers are dumb.

And from the author’s perspective, this probably becomes more meaningful when readers don’t understand it—like some kind of weird reinforcement of their twisted philosophy.

Was that really the intention? Really?

I’m not sure if it’s that malicious, but…

They didn’t say anything; they just left. That’s the problem… I have no idea why else they'd choose to leave things this way!!

I really believe—if they just explained it, people would understand. They’d see the truth.

That’s what storytelling is supposed to do. That’s the author’s job.

But it feels like the author’s message is more like:

“I hate how people don’t care about things anymore.”

So they wanted to preserve that kind of meta state—

To say, “See, people are like this,” making even their own readers play it out.

If that’s the case, it just makes me really uncomfortable. I want to stop that from happening.

If I could understand why they’re like this, maybe I wouldn’t be as upset.

If not that, then why didn’t they explain anything?

I thought about this a lot in a previous post.

It’s easier if I can understand… I don’t like being angry at others… I don't want to be frustrated and discouraged but this work makes me feel that way. It makes me feel helpless.

I really hope people could try thinking about it from this angle, too.

I’m convinced—this is honestly the only way it makes sense. You have to give it a chance.

It’s just been so frustrating that I find myself jotting things down whenever they come to mind… because it really weighs on my heart. I shouldn't have read this work if I knew it'd cause me this much stress, I feel so bad in terms of what's been playing out. You know how Aqua's accused Kamiki that he moves people in a malicious direction? Well, I'm not sure if Kamiki actually does, but the author himself IS doing that. I see it so well, I hope he is aware that someone reads what he's been doing to people. People aren't fools, you shouldn't do this to your readers because you're disappointed in the world. You can't shape this entire story based on your personal disappointment, it was your responsibility to tell the truth regarding your own plot, why didn't you do that? Is the idea of people not caring important, when you discuss matters that actually have affected people's real lives?

I just wish things could be evaluated more neutrally—whatever it is.

I don’t think it’s right to criticize something harshly without truly understanding the situation, but I’ve seen that happen both within and outside of this manga.

And watching it all unfold like that… was really hard.

The author draws these kinds of behaviors and even seems to deliberately stir them up.

From what I can see, the message the author is trying to convey feels very related to all of this. That’s probably why the story was structured this way.

But honestly… I don’t like it.

Why not just clearly point out what’s wrong with this kind of societal trend?

Why make readers do the very same thing in the process?

At this point… I’m not even hoping for the series to be reevaluated or anything.

Even if people say the ending was bizarre and criticize it, I think I’m okay with that. They should, actually.

There really were a lot of things that weren’t done well.

Still… I really felt like I could see pretty clearly what emotions certain characters were feeling, and what situations they were in.

But there didn’t seem to be many others who saw it the same way, and that honestly made me feel quite alone.

It wasn’t like I was being stubborn or trying to argue—it just appeared that way to me, it stood out naturally, and that made it even more confusing…

That’s why I’ve been talking with GPT a lot lately… haha.

I keep asking myself: “Did I misread this?” “Am I overthinking?”

I’ve been asking a lot of questions to see if the way I’m thinking even makes sense.

I’m really glad I’ve come across people who read my thoughts with care, too.

I doubt the truth regarding this plot will see light though. That's probably also what this author wants seeing how pessimistic this work is. It really was cruel to watch and it will be left that way, won't it.

They can do whatever they want with their work for sure, but I really dislike how they manipulate their own readers into reinforcing this pretty depressing view it has. If I'm wrong about this, then I hope they rebut it or say something about it, explain why they wrote it this way because I thought about this over and over and I try to be considerate and understanding about it, but this is really what I made out of it. Maybe there can be more to take away and I'm not seeing it, right? I am willing to listen. That's why I do what I do. People can care, although that's so different from what this work insists and persists to build its message on.

[ourceliumnetwork]

Personal vent post:

this isn't even about my health issues because SOMEHOW, every time, my communication issues with my one partner overshadow my own personal bullshit to the point of obscuring it entirely.

it would be a lot easier to work through the compulsion to explain in excruciating detail to the best of my ability exactly what i'm doing and exactly why and how i got there if talking to them about ANYTHING and bringing ANYTHING up didn't lead to them jumping to the worst possible option even when there is no indication that was even a POSSIBILITY open to interpreting.

like. i do not feel comfortable telling them when i'm having health problems come up because if i do it ahead of time they jump to the conclusion that i'm going to fall to pieces on my own and that nothing will be done about it and that i'm just going to crumble and i do not know without shoving it in their face that i am actually really well supported and cared for up here, and i'm not alone and without connections - and truly i never have been it's just whether or not the connections i had were reliable or easy to access like.

Like i get it i was there i was alone and didn't have anyone and worried that any bad thing that happened to my people far away that i learned about was a bigger catastrophe than they were telling me. But after MULTIPLE times of being told that no that's not what was happening - or even just idk like *waiting* for more information??? i got over it so long as the wording isn't too ominous.

if it's important it will get back to me, and even if it's not important i'm probably gonna learn about it at some point. And i just want them to get to that point with me too - we've been chatting regularly for years now, and i've brought stuff up previously, we had the whole debacle of confusion, and i really thought i'd been clear and i know, i know that they have things to work on on their own but like.

if i don't give enough information they panic and assume something REALLY bad is going on when i'm just like. giving them a heads up about what i'm doing because i don't want them to worry. If i give too much information it's an attack and they assume they've done something wrong so i then have to turn around and comfort them and hold their hand through telling them that it's not even a little about them but in a nice way.

and god forbid i actually have something that concerns me i'd like to bring up because if i don't explain EXACTLY what i mean covering as many unlikely conclusions to be leapt to as possible, they're just going to start beating themself up for being the worst person in the world and i don't know that i can DO that right now.

Especially with everything else that's just come up like.

i'm glad i've made the decision not to allude to the current health concern when talking to them because like. i've barely processed that and they will be of NO HELP in comforting me through this process, and like i understand it's scary to hear especially if you care about me, but like. i understand that because I'm currently the one experiencing it thank you very much. I do not want to have to coddle and hold someone else's hand when i'm barely processing that it's a thing i finally brought up with the doctor at all.

like.

that's a surefire way to learn you don't get to learn any more about my health concerns, is either making yourself the one who needs to be cared for about it, or dismissing things and like. no they don't dismiss my health concerns but they also don't read the messages I send.

....i think that's what bothers me. They are receiving the messages they are skimming them, making interpretations and connections that aren't there, and then reacting to that. They're not even reading between the lines they're reading between lines i didn't fucking write. And it's exhausting! I.... I want to be there for them while they work on this and figure it out because i know they are working on it. but god i don't think i can. i have doctor appointments to schedule and get to. I've got a surgery scheduled. This isn't. like.

i don't have time to walk you through healing and becoming yourself, i barely have the time and energy to work through my own and i'm helping you because i love you but for fucks sake you're making this fucking difficult.

....and it's not a good sign i wish they'd remembered they'd broken up with me so i wouldn't have to go through all this. i'm STILL reeling from that revelation frankly and i'm very concerned they're expecting me to be cool with progressing the relationship back to a point we hadn't been at in almost a year in just a few months after SIX MONTHS of me thinking we were just friends again. L I K E. what.

how is my life this. how is this the thing that overtakes my day when i just found out my tits might be sick like. are you serious. i was just warning you that a flare up/crash was coming because i've been pushing myself too hard and sometimes that makes me tired and incommunicative and i didn't want to drop off the face of the planet because i CARE ABOUT YOU STUPID.

i just. i want to be so mean. i want to be mean and cruel and nasty about this because like. bitch. how can i ever think of leaning on you for support if every time i do you make me pick you back up and walk you through the whole thing *please* do your own hard work please please PLEASE.

like.

and i know they are i know they're working on their own things and stuff and i get it, i get that they haven't had as much time to consider their healing and such and GOD i hope i wasn't this difficult to talk to back in the day but if i was i am so fucking sorry for putting anyone through this holy FUCK.

but like i've just learned it's entirely possible i could end up with a state-sanctioned top surgery, and like. I can't talk to one of my partners about it because doing so has the very high likelihood of me having to support and comfort them through it and frankly right now, that should be *me*.

like the warning i gave them was BEFORE the dr visit - i was just warning them about a normal and pretty foreseeable flare-up that i go through every time i overdo some shit because i forget i'm disabled like that just happens and it happens pretty regularly but i didn't warn them about previous ones because the worst ones i've had in recent history happened over the summer when i was under the impression we were not dating. like are you KIDDING me. this is just normal shit i'm sorry you're not a part of it normally i'm sorry i dno't keep up with you as best as i could i know the long distance is a two way street but like.

c'mon man. please. please just. be a safer place dammit. people i just met 3 months ago are being better about offering me comfort and shit in these tryingtimes and i haven't even explained what's going on to them yet. we've known each other for 11 years now you NEED to get on the program or I'm going to need to let you heal by yourself until we're both different people and we can maybe try again like GOD.

...anyway i'm not like. actively dying everything is fine i'm okay. it's scary and unknown but it's also been a thing for 15+ years and at this point like if it was gonna kill me dead i'd be long gone. i'm just Scared and Overwhelmed with the implications and also scheduled a whole surgery (unrelated, but important) so like. it's Fine and everything is going to be Fine whatever the outcome is, because worst case scenario the email that will blow my tits clean off will come in and like as a trans person who would enjoy the ability to have removable tits i'm not *mad* about that option it's just. on a bit of a quicker time scale than i was anticipating.

also the catholic hospital system says i don't need any other reasons to get my tubes out so like i'm not gonna be mad about my dr visit today

just a little scared. which i feel is super fine and normal and actually i'm probably underselling it a little. which is okay! because i'm okay! i'm not dying i'm just. got more health shit.

[titleleaf]

fic writer self-recs

I got tagged on this by Mardia!

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers.

Took me ages to get around to this because I've been flirting with danger aka writing for fic exchanges again but the thing I love more than writing is talking about shit I've already written, so. Five self-recs of my own work! I'm trying to avoid my usual Greatest Hits-type stuff here and talk about stuff that has an especially affectionate place in my heart.

give you what you need - Stranger Things, Eddie Munson/Jim Hopper/OMC + Eddie Munson/Steve Harrington 

I love writing for kink memes so much, you guys. This is a piece of Stranger Things smut where Steve is the unwilling voyeur to Eddie Munson getting spitroasted by bad men in positions of authority, one of whom is dad bod Chief Hopper, and Steve is super horny and super emotionally confused about it, and Eddie is super emotionally confused and semi horny about it, and then they go watch Highlander in the theater together. I believe in porn conceits played for drama and I also believe in inventing a bad man to DP the other side of your blorbo. 

abracadabra, here's the keys to the kingdom - The Stand, Randall Flagg/Larry Underwood

Writing Randall Flagg doing very bad things to people is my life's joy, and I had a lot of fun writing him doing very bad things to Larry Underwood during the course of that hopped-up coke-crazed house party that leaves him so catastrophically in debt to other bad men. It's really fun to play in Stephen King's sandbox, always, and to unravel some of this novel's threads, but I keep writing Randall Flagg using magic to fuck with people. If I'm being really declarative and bold, I'd say I put all the gross sex stuff in here to remix and re-examine the highly gendered sexual horror around Flagg's cold cold snaky dick, but I also was just not really there for the cold dick at the time. Maybe I will be in the future.

No Shortage Of Blood-verse - Whiplash (2014), Fletcher/Neiman

Fletcher/Neiman Gone Girl AU, my beloved. Is this my "best-written" fic? Probably not. Is it the fic that has given me so fucking much joy? Sure is! 

To The Skies Only - Ravenous (1999), Boyd/Ives

Cold-weather cannibal domesticity with a really narsty bit of flesh-consumption and playing with the canonical healing factor that comes with the film's depiction of cannibalism as almost a form of vampirism. 

oh but jesus was a crossmaker - Cape Fear (1991), Max Cady/Danielle Bowden

This film is exactly the kind of profoundly flawed specimen that gets my brain's wheels turning, and I had a wonderful time writing for it and exploring one of the elements that's the most odd and engaging, namely the deeply fucked villain/heroine dynamic between the wildly sleazy, undeniably dangerous antagonist (by far the most memorable aspect of the film) and the troubled teenage daughter of the nominal MC who hankers to act out but gets way more than she bargained for. I love love love a disgusting crime road trip and I had a lot of fun writing this one. 

*

In turn I would like to tag @forthegothicheroine @marypsue @shredsandpatches @jouissants and: youuuuu, the ficauthor reading this.

[crimeronan]

hi I saw you posting about the silt verses. it sounds interesting so I googled it but I'd like to hear what You have to say about it!!

(I'd also like to ask if it has any emphasis on bug-related horror bc that's a huge no from me, but if it doesn't I think I'll take a listen)

oh lord i have So Much to say about it. asking me what i have to say about the silt verses is like asking me what i have to say about call down the hawk or the owl house, like. it's a piece of media that is so immaculately conceived and well-executed that i can meta about Literally Every Single Line. if you've followed me for a while you probably know that i have high standards for horror media bc it's my most-consumed comfort genre; the silt verses is my fave piece of horror media Of All Time.

as for bugs, they don't play a huge role in the overarching story, but i do FOR SURE remember some imagery about parasites, insects, and people being transformed into bug-like creatures. so i'd look up episode warnings prior to consuming it, i can't remember off the top of my head which episodes specifically involve that.

the silt verses is, on the surface, a typical horror story about another world where gods are created through belief & fed through sacrifice. different gods have attracted cult followings, some gods are outlawed, some are not. it's stuff you've probably seen before if you're an avid supernatural horror fan.

however the writers then take the time to do absolutely Vicious and Scathing social commentary about pretty much every leftist topic you can think of. cult abuse, late-stage capitalism, corporate "we're all a family" speak, war, fascism, the creation of Unpersons with unhoused and mentally ill populations, prison violence, police violence, copaganda, generational trauma, environmental catastrophe, rural vs city mindsets and the political manipulation behind them..... Every Single Plot Point and piece of imagery serves a social commentary purpose. every single god and political movement is a transparent metaphor or allegory for our own world.

but what really keeps me coming back to it are the character arcs. from a horror writer's perspective, i can see exactly how carefully those arcs were sketched and plotted out. each of the narrators is dynamic and goes through a huge amount of character development -- positive for some, Horrifically Negative for others. characters are frequently caught between a rock and a hard place, forced to choose between two things they've always wanted...... and they also frequently choose Wrong.

and then they have to live with the consequences of those choices.

the protags are all messy and flawed and complicated, the antags are all messy and grounded and Very Real, and the relationships between people grow in organic ways that make me go MMM... before falling apart in equally organic ways. if you've ever enjoyed the same kind of desperate codependent and messy relationships that i most often write, HOO BOY you will have a good time with this podcast.

and if you like stories about people who are Genuinely Trying Their Best In The Face Of Impossible Circumstances, you'll ALSO get a lot of mileage out of this. it's a show where people make a lot of terrible decisions but also, people care So So So So So Fucking Much. really hits that sweet spot between nihilistic "everyone sucks" media and saccharine "everyone is always good at heart, all the time" media.

it also features some of the most stunning voice acting i've ever heard, not just in podcasts but in any media, ever. méabh de brún, b. narr, jimmie yamaguchi, and lucille valentine in particular all fucking KILL IT. like DAMN

and i can wholeheartedly recommend it without adding this, but if it's important to you: like 98% of the characters are queer. lots of trans cast members, lots of gay relationships, ace rep, los jibbities who get to be just as Fucking Terrible and embarrassing and hopeless as the characters in my fave White Man (TM) tv shows. u know how it is. i want queer people who are shitty bitches, always. and the silt verses DELIVERS

it's just. really good. i realize that this doesn't even get into the intricacies of who the characters are and what they want and what happens, bc like i said, i can talk about this show for a novel's length of meta. but these are the broad strokes of what has me in love with the narrative. it's So Good.

[akaiuchiha]

You know, when you can't find exactly what you are looking for while searching for fanfictions and you just go "Fine, I'll do it myself"?

Well, I do it, with my OC's AND fanfictions hahahaha.

Sometimes I crave for something that I cannot find, like, one day I was searching platonic fanfictions between Brook and Sanji and it is sooo hard to find some that are finished and not...well, not ship and all.

Now, it's the same for genshin. I have played the archon quest and Neuvillette's story quest, I loved both, really they were amazing.

I don't regret pulling for Neuvillette (and I got his weapon, lucky me) but now?? After everything? My brain just won't stop thinking about the next part (stop reading if you haven't done the archon quest, spoilers are coming) and of different "what if" that could happen in the next version. Like, what if Furina wasn't only one person, that she's not the real hydro archon after everything Arlecchino told us and, I know many like Furine but I don't, she's not even able to tell us what her emergency plans are in case of a catastrophe. Right now I have more faith in Arlecchino, Neuvillette, Wrio (I have still now idea on how to write it by myself), Lyney, Lynette, Freminet, Clorinde, EVERYONE BUT Furina. She can't take responsibility when things go South and it's driving me almosy crazy.

Anyway, I also think about everything that could happen to Neuvillette. Like, what if he's the only hope and he sacrifices himself in order to save everyone? What if Wrio do the same because this guy has more solutions than the archon herself and that's actuelly insane (he is building a SHIP to save people, he is holding the seal of the primordial sea, he is the one holding the front line in this mess and he does it alone most of the time).

And don't get me started with Childe. Hell, that man is not even in my top 5 but I'd do anything if it means saving him right now. I know when a character is a good one, and Childe certainly is. What the hell is he doing in the primordial sea?! What was that giant thing he saw? To me it looked like a dragon, its shape was similar to Dvalin's if I remember well. And I don't care, I'm not lettong Childe die. He's not even guilty for what he was accused! Sure, he is a criminal and clearly not the kindest person here, but will he ever kidnapp people, hurt children?? That man straight up lied to his little brother in order to protect his innocence and the image he has of his big brother, I can't believe he would do that.

I can't even tell you how clearly I can see the pictures of what I've been thinking about since I finished the archon quest. It's so vivid, and I see Neuvillette standing up, tall and proud in front of a massive wave, taller, wider and stronger than the one in the forteress. He cannot do it alone with his actual power and then, Clorinde, Wrio, people who can fight join him and face the wave and that's just... Maybe I was influenced by Dressrosa Arc by a lot because everyone working, fighting together is just so wholesome and powerfull that I need to see it happen in genshin.

Well, than you for reading all of this. Don't hesitate to share with me what you've been thinking about the quest!

[hildred-rex]

Hello, I love Hildred Castaigne! He’s such a fucked up unreliable narrator and he also reminds me so much of myself in middle school and I love him for it. What do you like about him?

First off, apologies for taking absolutely ages to answer this! Life happened and I promptly forgot tumblr existed for almost a month. Yay.

Anyhow, I think my love of Hildred is a combination of the factors you mentioned and the absolute state I got into shortly after I found The King in Yellow -- aaand here comes an essay. The last version of this got deleted, and apparently I've taken it upon myself to make its replacement even lengthier.

Hildred is a fascinating character to read and to write, and his opinions on things are (or would be) so different from mine that it's fun to try to puzzle them out. I keep a bevy of fictional characters that I can simulate reasonably well as a way to make myself consider how people get to opinions that differ from mine, and naturally he's among them.

Beyond that, I'm an absolute sucker for hints at a greater world, but only narrow viewpoints from which to try to figure out what's going on in that world.

The weird bits of The King in Yellow as a whole are superb at tantalizing you with smug allusions and tiny scraps of information about what, exactly, it is that the book is named for.

Is it a play? Is it an entity? What happened to the author? ...was the author Boris? (I don't think the author was Boris, but I won't lie that I've considered writing a fic where he was.)

I got hooked on Lovecraft for the same reason, and it's actually what put me on to Arthur Machen (favorite author) and The King in Yellow (favorite book).

Even with all that, I think my King in Yellow interest would have been a passing thing that returned occasionally, if it hadn't been the last thing I got into before my first set of high school final exams kicked my ass.

The tl;dr of freshman year is that I picked the wrong math class and it spent the semester wrecking my self-confidence (and my sleep schedule) before I finally managed to transfer to a better one. (Then I spent second semester picking myself back up.)

Hildred, notably, is self-confident to the point of it backfiring catastrophically on him. He absolutely should not have gloated to Louis, tactically speaking; in this essay I will-

Anyway. Stress is weird, so during finals season and its leadup I had quite a lot of unmarshalled energy that refused to work on what I actually needed it to do and that instead directed itself at my idle pokings at Hildred and his world.

Probably better than worrying about how my abysmal math grade was going to ruin my life.

It didn't, and I came out of the crucible with rather extensive additional worldbuilding. Since I essentially speedran getting invested in the project, I came away wanting to do more of it and... it just kind of stuck?

I mean, here we are several years later and my first impulse is still to name my tumblr blog for him. I've got a rough idea of his extended family back three generations. I have a design for that spring suit Hawberk had that was mentioned exactly once. I am the embodiment of

when it comes to this lol

_____

I couldn't find a good place to fit this in above, but Hildred was also the first time I encountered a story with an obviously intentional unreliable narrator after I'd encountered the term. Not sure how I missed it that long, lol. I spent probably half a decade looking askance at various authors and going "...do you know what you're writing there???"

I also couldn't integrate it anywhere, but I absolutely adore "The Mask." I have Thoughts on Chambers's ability to write romance more generally, the short version being that he writes Lovers™ and not characters and they're thus so wooden they're hard to read, but that he must have been in a position like the beginning of "The Mask" because holy god that is exactly how it feels.

[crusherthedoctor]

1, 2, 7 and 12 for Sonic!

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

Used to not like him very much, in spite of his good qualities, because of how much he annoyed me with his usually not-that-funny snark, and how said snark would often cause fans to think that somehow translates to Eggman being a harmless joke. And how fans tend to let him get away with things that they'd crucify any other character for because main character bias. And because as long as his portrayal is considered top tier, then it's suddenly no big deal if the rest of the cast is treated like an afterthought at best that only exists to make him look good. I still stand by the opinion that Black Knight fell into that trap despite its otherwise solid portrayal of Sonic, and Frontiers has sadly followed suit... with a not quite as solid Sonic.

Nowadays... he's still not exactly one of my absolute favourites, because all of that still rings true to this day, and beside that, there are simply a ton of other characters in the series that I prefer. (Eggman, Tails, Rouge, Tikal, Blaze, Trip, Vector... Gamma... Omega... the Heavies... Luppy Luppy Man... Moneybags...). But after IDW turned him into Mr. Principles, and Prime turned him into Mr. Funny Penis Man, on top of how other adaptations like SatAM and Archie dropped the ball with him, AND combined with how often fans go one extreme or the other with him and choose to misinterpret him as either a stereotypical superhero or the Punisher... it's easier to appreciate the unique depth and perspective that Game Sonic has.

Note that I always knew the nuance was there. I was never blind to it, and I always gave credit where I felt it was due, like the ending to Secret Rings. It's just easier to do so when the amount of portrayals that catastrophically miss the point have gone into overdrive.

Getting used to writing for him in my fanfic material has also helped me gel with him a bit more (not in a Flynn/Stanley way: I've been very adament on keeping him in-character to the best of my ability, even with the addition of you-know-what involving you-know-which-horsie). I also softened up on him because of how much I now associate him with you. :>

One more thing: I realise that most of my aforementioned issues came down to the fandom rather than Sonic himself. These days, I try my best to separate annoying fan hijinks with the character unless I already hate them on their own merits (Surge and Kit), or said hijinks are unavoidably linked to the reason for my beef with them and thus it can't be put aside so easily. Like the Freedom Fighters being overrated as all hell when they weren't all that and spent a lot of time being dicks, or Sage receiving so much praise for """fleshing Eggman out""" and depth she arguably doesn't have, or my currently soured feelings on Amy due to bias and double standards surrounding her less flattering moments VS that of other characters.

2. Favourite canon thing about this character?

His compassion.

No, not that gaslighting and lecturing with 30 paragraphs bullshit. Game Sonic's compassion. Real compassion.

He might not always know what to say, or how to say it, but he always tries his best with someone as long as they're not an irredeemable villain (unless they've already been defeated and can be potentially reasoned with afterwards, like with Merlina). For all the praise given to him for this, I'd argue it's still one of his most underrated traits, since so many fans think that his somewhat selfish love for adventure and enjoying the thrills mean that he doesn't take saving lives or the wellbeing of others seriously, like it's all just a game to him and nothing more... Meanwhile, Eggman is the one portrayed as understanding and compassionate in fanworks. How the hell does that work.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

In Sonic's case, I can't think of much specific other than... keeping him in-character, due to how it doesn't happen often, although you could say that about any of the cast under the average fandom pen. I appreciate it when fans truly understand him, and know what they're talking about with him. Now if only there was someone I knew who fit that description... some kind of Sonic Encyclopedia, if you will... ;P

I guess if it counts, I do like it when him and Tails are portrayed as the unbreakable bond that they are in canon, but ONLY if Tails is treated with equal respect and agency. Lot of fans like to overly infantilize him so that Sonic can take care of him, which implies they only see Tails as a useful tool and not a character in his own right.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Here's a few. I'll number them (in no particular order) since bullet points always group everything together with no spacing when I use them, which annoys me every time lol.

1. Since he's somewhat of a nomad, Tails' home is the closest thing he has to one.

2. Unless he absolutely has to sleep it off, Sonic tries not to let his hayfever disrupt his morning run. In Green Hill, this usually results in him sneezing every ten seconds.

3. After both Storybook incidents, Sonic would eagerly tell Tails about what he experienced in the Arabian Nights and the Grand Kingdom. Tails, of course, didn't question any of it.

4. Despite their differences, he's proud of Shadow for being able to move on from his past, and become a hero in his own right. He doesn't say it out loud because he knows Shadow would brush it off in his typical Shadow way, and because he knows he doesn't really need to hear it anyway.

5. One time, Sonic mocked Zavok by calling him Bowser. Zavok did not get the joke.

6. Nowadays, Sonic and Rouge get on surprisingly well, as they have more in common than one would expect. Like getting on Knuckles' nerves on occasion, for example.

7. Much like how Amy is her big sister in spirit, Cream considers Sonic a big brother figure.

8. Sonic finds it rather insulting when someone assumes running fast is all he cares about. After all, he has various established hobbies like anyone else, such as reading.

9. He vividly remembers every single place he's been to, no matter how long or how brief he was there. Ironically for someone who doesn't look back, he reminisces on where he's explored with fondness.

10. This is a concept I'm exploring with Stellar, so I'll try not to spoil too much, but as much as Sonic enjoys fighting Eggman despite not treating him lightly (and usually making no effort to save him from situations that should have killed him), he wonders with the escalation of the doctor's plans and ambitions just how long things will last before he has to take him down permanently. Let's just say that certain events in Stellar give Sonic a harsh reminder that at the end of the day, Eggman is not any better than Black Doom, Mephiles, Erazor, etc.

11. The Emerald Coast comic where he reacts poorly to IDW Sonic is canon.

[eternally-dreamin]

First post!!! <3

This is a first post and those are really special in my opinion so I want to try and make this as special as possible.

Firstly, Hi I'm a dumbass who can't pick an online name for the life of me. For now I'm going to say Joseph and I'll explain why in a second. I'm a college student (who is for some reason in art even though I can't draw for shit) I go by He/They pronouns but to be fair I don't really care what's used on my those are just the preferred ones. I've been published once in a young writers competition (it's a regional one that still manages to be shit(they didn't give us a book copy after making us pay for one and they didn't give the prize :()). In that same vein, I did (kinda, not actually. I did kinda pass I was like less than 3 marks off) fail my English but the school system is wack so-

I'm a big fan of Fantasy and such and I'm developing a love of learning mythology of all kinds. I like drawing(Hence why I'm in art), musicals(Listening to Hamilton while writing this 😋✌️), Writing and reading obvs and I do switch hyperfixations every once in a while.

As for why I chose Joseph as a temporary name is because I tend to dream my stories, most I write comes from a dream I have and Seph(Taking this nickname for myself thank you 😋)did the same thing so I thought it'd be ironic

Current book WIP intro thingy idk:

As previously mentioned in my bio, I'm an aspiring writer, so I thought I'd drop the plot basic of the book that drove me here in the first place. It doesn't have a name yet(Yay naming sucks 🎉) so bare with me on this. Before I get into it just remember that this is a beta and a lot could change.

It starts with our protagonist, Samael or Sam, who is hosting a fallen demon/ ghost lord in his body and has been doing it since birth. One day he gets (forcibly)dropped into a group with 3 other people to handle a growing problem. There's a zombie overgrowth. These things aren't exactly zombies but are currently called so because there is a lack of better words, they don't infect people just mass genocide wherever they go. Their numbers grow because they papapa like bunnies, not needed for the story but I thought it was a funny bit of context to have the people assume they infect when they actually don't. Anyway they are tasked with enlisting the 7 heavenly virtues and 7 deadly sins. Which- okay? (It doesn't make sense now but it's a beta!) So they set out to get the 14 and to try to understand where these came from and it turns out to be a bigger can of worms than they signed up for. Now their tangled in the silky threads of Misunderstanding, Blurry pasts, betrayals and honey-coated woodland dangers. I think if I give out more it'd spoil the story. I kinda wanna add a romance side plot but tell me what you guys think about that

But I plan for this to rival even the best D&D campaign. There'll (hopefully) be Faes, Dragons, Orcs, Badgers, Goblins, Ghosts etc. I want this to be a mix of every Mythology I know so I'll try as hard as I can to implement it into the plot for a bit more flavor.

I have so much already done. I'm currently working on the naming and classifying everything from locations to characters to lore. This is at the straight beginning of production

Inspiration

I'm going to note the inspirations because they're really important too

Harry Potter

Genshin Impact

MXTX books specifically Svsss and Heaven official's blessing,I haven't yet read grand master of demonic cultivation(Small update I finally read Grand master, loved it and it's now being added to the list)

My dreams(the og ᕦ(•̀⁠ ⁠o⁠ ⁠•́⁠ ⁠)ᕤ)

List will grow with time

Dear Svsss fans should I add papapa to save the world?

Dear everyone reading this please drop pros and cons in books so I can know what tropes, stereotypes etc to look into and /or avoid or just some ideas and tips

Ending

I thank everyone who read through this mess and I really hope this convinces you to hope in for a catastrophic shipwreck of an idea. I really want to get like a small group for the book(Bookblr community please receive this gift with glee) before I try publishing it because publishing is expensive(and I'm a college student with no income 😞) especially self- publishing so I just wanna be cautious. Also it's good to have people just as excited about something as you are, I think it helps build moral or something psychology lol. I know to do that though I have to work really hard, I would have had more about the book to give but I wanted to write this quickly cause I was so excited.

I'm going to be using this blog for updates and just random quote drops. Anyway I hope that this was a satisfactory!!

Gonna reference the Svsss crew again, should I just become a bootleg airplane bro- like Ship/Boat into the horizon or something.😋

[astriiformes]

3, 5, 29

3 - What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Oh that's HARD. I feel like I have different favorites for different reasons. Like, Stemma Codicum is probably my best-written fic, Several Witches Are Typing is my most popular (and with that, got art drawn for it, which was amazing), Future Boy is one of the most personal...

I think if you told me I could only pick one, I'd probably go with Stemma Codicum, because I'm still really proud of it and managed to do some very creative things with it. Also, I wrote it for a tiny fandom, so everything is relative, but it's the third most kudos'd fic in the Pentiment tag, which feels like an accomplishment!

(That said, there is a very real chance that Future Boy--or the sequel may win out once I've finished them. They're just such deeply personal stories, and I feel decent about the writing in both thus far, too. Apparently I can only write my best stuff for tiny fandoms.)

5 - What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

Hmm... trying to think of something for this that isn't just "I had a lot of ideas when I was in [x] fandom, but I'm not anymore," partially because there are so many of those, I wouldn't know how to choose.

I still think the idea I had ages ago for a Pentiment/Knives Out crossover fic where 16th century!Benoit Blanc helps Magdalene try to solve her father's murder is really funny, but probably not in my personal fic-writing wheelhouse. I just. Listen. She's an overwhelmed young woman who had someone close to her mysteriously become the victim of a murderous attack. She's the perfect candidate for the Benoit Blanc mystery protagonist treatment. Not to mention I think watching him try to unravel the layers of conspiracy going on in Tassing would be hilarious. Alas, just not the right story for me.

An alternate candidate, for my current special interest: Every time I get big BttF feelings, I contemplate a Pacific Rim AU, because Doc and Marty are the most drift compatible pair ever, and every time, I fail to come up with an actual plot. I think it is doomed to be a vibes-only story idea, but man if I don't still love it.

29 - Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

Here's a little snippet of writing that I cut from the second chapter of Future Boy -- with good reason, I think, and totally unpolished as a result, but it might be interesting to folks all the same!

He couldn’t dwell on it too much of course. Time might wait for no man, but it sure as hell didn’t speed up for one, either. And as a man waiting on time, he couldn’t afford to be idle. “You don’t want to go living in the past, you know,” he said to Copernicus one day, while working on a miniature explosive device he could use to open dog food cans. Sure, it didn’t do much -- or anything -- towards building the time machine, but that was a long term project. He had to get his kicks somehow in the meantime. “It’s a surefire way to end up stagnating in the present! And that doesn’t get you to the future at all!” Strictly chronologically speaking, it was an erroneous statement, but the sentiment stood. If he wasted all his mental energy on pseudoscientific frivolities -- like trying to ascribe some kind of significance to every mention of Marty’s family he came across -- it would be a lot easier to get frustrated with the speed time actually moved at and thus, more catastrophically, with his project. He wanted to have a working time machine, wanted to have the teen as his friend, and wanted to be done with all this damn waiting. Which was exactly why he couldn’t think about it all the time. The whole time machine business was a delicate balance, really, that his own personal cocktail of occasional laser-focus mixed with bouts of intense distractability worked well for. Spend a day on the time machine. Spend three on a remote-controlled toaster. Spend another on the time machine. Get distracted and look up when refrigeration was invented in the encylopedia. Blow up the toaster. Spend an entire week focused on the time machine. Spend a day regretting it because he’d been forgetting to sleep. Repeat.  An inelegant system, maybe, but he was still making progress.