#that's crazy. Well [makes another character just like them]

[zaceouiswriting]

Fairy Prince - Hearts of Leviathans - Ch.47

Character: Sky x male reader, Riven x male reader, Brandon x male reader, (OC) Callisto x male reader

Universe: Somewhere in Winx Club/Saga

Warnings: A little blood

(Brandon)

(Callisto)

Brandon quickly leads us to the landing platforms behind the school. But the closer we get, the more a strange feeling spreads in my stomach, but I think nothing of it, at least not until it gets worse. To calm my anxiety, I dare to look over my rescuer's shoulder, even though I don't think anyone else would attack us. But with wide eyes, I witness exactly what I thought would never happen to us again. Once again, the universe must contradict me.

"Stop!" I shout, causing Brandon to stop immediately. My shocked eyes jump to him, only to see him looking at me in complete confusion. His gaze alone makes me realize that he thought I meant for him to stop. I blush at my stupidity. "Sorry, I didn't mean you," I mumble, a little ashamed.

“Who did you mean then?” He asks, still visibly confused, looking like a lost, perhaps even sad puppy.

Unable to speak in the face of such cuteness, I simply look over his shoulder again, but Brandon doesn't seem to understand. I feel his eyes still on me.

My previously yelled words were ignored by the person they were intended for because soon after, a second pair of hands wrapped around me, easily ripping me from the safe arms that had protected my life not so long ago. 

Before I know it, I'm squashed against another chest that I know all too well. Attempting to speak only gets me pressed even harder against those perfectly formed pecs. Sometimes I really despise Callisto for being so damn attractive because even if it were just for a moment, I wish I could just stay there, but if we don't get away quickly, I probably won't be among the living for long.

Seeing no other way out since he isn't even looking at me, I pull my arm back, and with all the strength I can muster, I let my fist fly. 

Although I don't hear an unpleasant crunching or feel any strange sensation under my fist, he still loosens his grip on me. I use this moment to jump out of his arms, only to almost fall to the ground as my knees give way from weakness. I realize that soon, I won't even have enough strength to stand on my own.

Before I can say anything, Daniel is already at my side, with his right arm around my waist and my left arm over his shoulder, where he holds it tightly. I couldn't be more grateful that he preserves my dignity, but there's time to thank him later when I'm not about to die anymore.

"Did you bring a pilot?" I feel dizzy just talking. The situation is becoming increasingly dangerous for my health. I can hear him answering me, but not the actual words. My head is too foggy, so I'm just assuming he gave me a positive answer. "Good, we need to get to Alfea immediately!"

I didn't give them a second thought before dragging Daniel to the Hawke. Daniel is the real hero here; he supports me almost entirely without compromising my dignity like the others did while carrying me. Even though Brandon's arms feel the most comfortable, this arrangement is better because it prevents Callisto from getting jealous. Maybe if he didn't skip gym class so often, his arms would feel as good as Brandon's. 

Even though I'm pretty sure I was only thinking about these things and not saying them out loud, I still feel like the boys are starting to stare at me. It's probably just because I hit Callisto, although it should be normal for them to see that by now since we hit each other quite often, mostly because we know how far we can go without really hurting each other. But sometimes, the boys just act crazy.

Luckily, it doesn't take long until we're finally inside this killing machine, and the uncomfortable atmosphere dissipates, but honestly, my body doesn't feel so good anymore. It feels like my body wishes to sleep for at least a thousand years, but I'm afraid that if I let myself fall, I won't wake up as quickly as before or at all.

As I sit, I lean my head against one of the walls of the machine; my eyelids feel heavy. As I replay the day in my head and think back to the early morning, I remember how refreshed I felt. Even though my eyes are heavy, I close them. It takes a lot of energy to move my head so I can look down at my left hand. Safely inside lies the small homemade stuffed animal. A gentle smile crosses my lips. I lift it to my head and lean against the jewel eyes. I press my mana into my head and let it flow out of it. The jewels absorb it immediately, but it does not stay in them; instead, what makes me so lethargic stays inside them and lets my clear mana flow out again, which I, in turn, quickly draw back into myself.

After a few moments, my head is clear again. I lower the little animal to my heart and do the same. Although I know it is irrelevant because everything will soon be the same as before, walking alone will be enough, at least for a while.

“We’re landing!” suddenly shouts the guy Callisto brought as a pilot with him.

A little stunned, I couldn't believe it had happened so quickly—after all, we had only just started, right? But as I stand up and walk to the front, I actually see Alfea sprawling before us.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” the guy asks me when he sees me coming.

I look at him for the first time. He's not the nerd type like most other pilots; he looks more like a laid-back guy with a light tan, medium-length brown wavy hair, a casual smile, and friendly green eyes.

"You're from Terrenia, right?" The guy stares at me, probably trying to figure out how I know. "It's because of your skin; that's how I know you're from the Reinios region, probably either Bartel or the region's capital, Bautel."

I see him swallow hard, either out of fear or just amazement that I can so easily tell where he's coming from. But for me, it's not even strange; I can do it with almost anyone.

"Yes," he finally replies, his knuckles turning white as he grips parts of the machinery tighter. "What can I do for you?"

I wave him off with an apologetic smile. "Nothing," I say quietly. "If you ever go back to your homeworld, give your guardian fairy and her father, the King, a message from me." I lean closer to him, but as inconspicuously as possible. "The stone never forgets."

Even though my words were vague and most people wouldn't have understood them, his skin turns deathly pale. He must be a nobleman or a member of the royal family. I'm sure they'll show up when I enter into my forced marriage—when I get closer to the throne of my homeland—to try to ease their worries and beg me to stay allied to them. Theoretically, I could be crowned the new King of Gyonos at any moment; as my powers grow, my grandfather's life will slowly end. However, I have always dreamed of wearing the lost stone crown from when my homeworld was considered one of the jewels of the magical dimension.

The death machine lands soon after, so hard that I have to grab the guy's shoulder pretty hard. I quietly apologize before leaving to get out of this disgusting thing. The rest of my group, except the pilot, quickly follows, but Daniel and Vinok overtake me and walk ahead as usual, almost as if they were my guards. They are way too sweet.

I am grateful, though, because this place still scares me, despite having to come here regularly to receive lessons for my awakening and development as a fairy. However, I always wear a hood to avoid looking at those despicable little princesses. I don't speak to any of them, and I stubbornly ignore them even when they try.

But when we get to the gate, it doesn't open. The boys start whispering, but before anyone can get the wrong idea, I quickly weave through the two before me and continue walking. I can hear them shouting at me, but the words get stuck in their throats as the doors open without me having to do anything. I immediately step through, only to remind the others to follow them before the doors quickly close again.

Even as I speak, the doors do just that. Daniel and Vinok jump through, but Brandon and Callisto look at each other. They're one of the few things I really like about the school: they look like the Empress's big fairy wings, rising from the floor to the upper center of the pink archway where they would meet. I gave up hope of seeing them when the doors were already half closed again. Disappointed, I turned towards the building and left without waiting for them any longer. If they don't want to come, I won't force them.

Suddenly, I hear a scream. Fear courses through me, causing my whole body to turn around on its own accord, only to see two idiots flying through the air. I wanted to ignore it and just go my way, but the proximity of the double doors to their legs made that impossible.

When I see the doors closing faster than usual, it doesn't look like they'll make it through. Rolling my eyes, I try to convince myself everything will be fine. But when I feel myself biting my upper lip, I know, even if it's just to calm my worries, that I have to do something to make sure these idiots don't die on my watch.

"Stone Fist!" My summoned stone of choice appears outside the school grounds. It could have been anything, but I really wanted to show them how stupid they were.

With a wave, I sent the stone straight at them. Somehow, I managed to get them at the same height, thus reducing the potential damage. Unfortunately, you can't have everything; perhaps a few broken bones would've given them a sense of self-preservation.

When the stone reaches the two idiots, it's not as close as I feared, but close enough that one or both might at least be injured. Their bodies fly past me quickly. I don't care how they land. I listen with a sickening glee as they slam into the ground with painful groans and wince. Despite everything, I still wander towards them, stopping right next to their heads and staring down at them in disappointment.

"I would ask what you two were thinking, but we don't have time. So why don't you get up and-"

Suddenly, my body aches, and despite my blurred vision, I see the ground much closer than before. It's truly pathetic that I collapsed because of something like this. Although the pressure of the hole in my mana core is severe, it's not the worst pain I've ever experienced. But even on all fours, the pain didn't get any better. Instead, it feels like something inside my body is tearing me apart.

Before I know it, my mouth fills with something disgusting: a metallic taste. It dawns on me. Unable to hold it back, I reflexively spit it out, covering the pink stones that make up most of the place with my deep red blood. The whole world starts to blur, spinning faster than it should. It's not the first time it's happened, but usually not in such a serious situation, but when I try to get up too quickly after waking up.

But before anything can happen, I see the sky again. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Daniel and Vinok holding me upright. Although I want to thank them, I find it difficult to get the words out. But then I hear them talking about how they have to take me to the infirmary. Panic overcomes me.

"No!" I scream, finding the strength to protest again. I can barely move my head to see their stunned faces. Although I am grateful, I tear myself out of their grip. "We are going to see Professor Palladium," I tell them, wiping the blood off myself.

Thankfully, I'm trained for moments like this. The only issue is that my aura core no longer resides within me, making it less accessible than it was back on the battlefield. However, with some concentration and sheer panic, I managed to access it through my ring with sheer force. By empowering my body with aura, the side effects of what's happening to me are almost negated—at least for a while.

As my gaze becomes sharper, I perceive many indignant looks directed at us. With my patience already at an end, I pull myself together again.

"What?" I ask them in a tone reserved for people who deserve social death. "Do any of you gossipy little princesses want to comment on us?"

Almost immediately, all the girls cower, maybe out of fear or, hopefully, shame, but one thing is certain: they wouldn't do it again.

Although I sense the discomfort of the other boys, who may actually be interested in at least some of these girls, I order them to follow me, as I need to speak to the professor sooner rather than later.

Despite blood still partially covering my face, I walk with my head held high, with two of my friends in front of me and behind me as if they were my guards once more, but deep down, I know they just want to ensure I don't kill a fairy or two. I'd be lying if I said that hadn't crossed my mind, but right now, there are bigger problems than a few little fairies.

I walk purposefully through the school as if I know where we are going. And in reality, I do know, although I don't tell them, so they think I'm walking around like an idiot.

Despite all this, no one says anything. Maybe they know, which would be surprising because I often feel like they see me as a little boy who needs an adult to look after him.

But what no one sees is the compass in my front pocket. My hand rests on it. Whenever I feel its vibrations, I know we are getting closer. In the end, I didn't need it at all because the compass vibrates strongly just outside the alchemy lab.

Without knocking, I open the classroom door and get everyone's attention. As luck would have it, it's Stella's class, but I don't glance at her, even though it hurts deep inside me. I can only hope that one day, she will return to being the sweet, whiny child she was when we met.

Instead, I immediately go to Palladium's desk and put the little stuffed animal down.

"It's a... cute animal, but what can I really do for you?"

He knows me all too well. Smiling, I lift the animal. "I need to know what kind of crystals these are."

Palladium looks over my shoulder and gives the class something to do before taking the animal and leading us into another room next to the classroom. Inside, it's cozy, with many hanging, standing, and partially floating plants. The opposite wall is littered with hundreds of books, in front of which is a small table with a cup of steaming coffee and a comfortable-looking chair waiting for someone to sit on it.

At the left end of the room is a wooden desk, messy and different than I expected because Palladium looks well put together.

The professor goes straight to his desk, and as soon as he sits down, the door slams shut. This is followed by a shrill scream that catches my full attention. I look at Callisto with a questioning, raised eyebrow.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles quietly, “I’m a bit jumpy.”

Hearing those words, so different from his usual cool demeanor, brings a gentle smile to my lips. But then I feel something bubbling inside me. I know exactly what it is, so I take his hand, pull him closer, press my head against his chest, and giggle quietly, hidden by his hoodie.

“I’ll remember that for later,” I whisper in his ear as my laughter fades.

Even though I hear him gasp in what is likely feigned shock, I pull away from him, not only because I fear he might take revenge but, more importantly, because I hear Palladium whispering. Before Callisto can pull me back, I've already jumped around Daniel. Without a word, he steps between us, but not without warning me not to play too hard.

I sit down on the other side of the professor's desk. It's only a matter of time before I get dizzy again. Palladium isn't really paying attention to me; his eyes are focused on the jewels in the little animal Callisto made for me. Just thinking about it makes me smile. I mean, how often does it happen that a male noble can use his hands like that and then use them to help someone?

“Why did you come to me with this?”

Palladium's sudden question almost makes me jump out of my skin. Flustered, I put my fist over my mouth and cleared my throat. I'm so shocked that I almost can't answer him.

"It's the smell of stone around you," I tell him quietly, "like you've lived underground for a long time." 

It's strange that an elf only partially smells like one, and the other half smells like what I imagine a dwarf would smell like. I've only read about them in an old children's book: "The Children of the Stone.“

The older man looks up from the animal for the first time as if trying to understand my words. He smiles kindly and shakes his head in clear amusement.

"You have a good nose there." He lifts the animal up, turns it towards me, and shows me the jewels. "These are Rokonai Paganis Olorods, or the Darkness-Eating Crystals, or, if you want to put it even more simply, Jurikons, a rare jewel, but I think you already know that?"

I feel like a small child found with my hand in the cookie jar at night. I smile sheepishly but nod anyway. Palladium quickly jumps back into action, resting his elbows on the table and looking questioningly.

“That’s not the real reason you're here, is it?”

"No," I shake my head. "I suffered from a sleeping sickness, but I could never figure out why until those two crystals woke me up," I tell him, my smile from earlier gone. "I just wanted someone who knows what they're talking about to agree with me because now I can say with conviction that the Specialist's Academy is full of miasma."

Palladium laughs heartily; it almost seems as if he is about to fall off his chair. Perhaps he thinks it is a weird joke, not only that, but the funniest ever told.

"Professor, please take this seriously," I tell him sternly, but he still doesn't quite believe me. "It's not the first time I've come into contact with miasma, but it's the first time I've almost died because of it."

"Are you serious?" Palladium's horrified face would be priceless under any other circumstances. He must have seen the seriousness in my face because he quickly changed his demeanor. Sitting upright, he looks at me. "Miasma is a big umbrella term for many magical situations; we need to find out what kind of miasma it is first to—"

"Twisted chaos, Miasma," I quickly interrupt his rambling. The professor looks at me in shock and seems at a loss for words. "I'm sorry, Professor, my family is at war with a race of lizard people invading our planet through a twisted chaos portal."

"Okay," Palladium trails off. 

I can see how much he is struggling with this information. I know it's hard to believe. It's supposed to be impossible to enter this dimension, even through portals like these, since we are under the protection of the Fairy Empress and Emperor, beings more powerful than even the Leviathans. But somehow, these lizards could break through.

"The war has been happening intermittently for longer than I have been alive, but the mana on my homeworld is so pure and protected by a guardian fairy that the chaos miasma doesn't have much effect there. But here?"

“Since Magix no longer has a magical protector, it is easier to be influenced by this miasma,” Palladium finally finishes my conclusion.

"Correct, and whoever started this did it in the place with the least magical protection on this entire planet, the Red Fountain Academy, once known as the Wyvern Riding School, but now nothing more than a training facility for specialists," I explain further so even my friends can understand. "And while Saladin seems to be a powerful mage, he is too old."

The professor looks me up and down; I can clearly see distrust reflecting in his eyes, but not towards me.

“Who is planning all this, you know that, don’t you?” he asks sternly.

I look around to ensure no one is around except those I trust the most. I beckon Brandon closer, take his hand, and gently stroke the back of his palm.

"The Black Hand," I finally admit; it hurt to pass it over my tongue. Once a day should be enough, but twice? It feels like blades are cutting deep into me. I sense Brandon's discomfort, his hand stiffening and his breathing erratic. Most shockingly, however, when I maintain eye contact with Professor Palladium, I see nothing but confusion on his face: he seems to have no idea who they are. He's old, probably older than this entire dimension, but somehow, he's never met or heard of them.

"They are an assassination group from ancient times that should have been eradicated long ago, but their existence was reconfirmed when they tried to kill me when I was a child." Even after this explanation, he doesn't seem convinced. I take a deep breath and prepare to reveal a well-kept secret. "They were involved in the extinguishing of Domino's eternal flame."

It became eerily quiet. I'm afraid I didn't say a word, and it was all just in my head until a chair scrapes hard across the floor, followed by a loud sound of wood crashing to the floor. Palladium's eyes are crazy. Very few people remember Domino these days, and even fewer know what happened to it. Although the "Black Hand" was involved, they were not the main culprits, just the ones who weakened the defenses so the real culprits could overwhelm the planet's protectors.

"How do you know that name?"

Daniel has come between Palladium and me because he seems completely out of control.

"It's a state secret," I tell him with conviction. But his crazy look doesn't disappear. Instead, a hint of understanding appears in them.

"Can you use his powers?"

Professor Palladium has a knack for asking questions that baffle me. Of course, he knows about it. He was probably there when the Leviathan War took place. He may even be older, making him almost as old as our Empress and Emperor.

Clearing my throat, I try to ignore it, but I sigh when I feel Palladium's magic acting out.

"Yes," I murmur quietly. "Partly, anyway. It's a long story, but I'm sure you've noticed. I do everything I can to never touch a book." As I let my words sink in, Palladium strangely calms down again. "Because magic is everywhere, every time I touch a book, I wander through the story it tells, from spells, who and how they were created, to when, who, and where potion ingredients were found, which is how I know there were dwarves at one point in time."

Palladium walks over to his chair, picks it up again, and sits back down. Smoothing his hair, he ties it into a ponytail. He folds his hands and keeps his eyes down for longer than necessary. When he looks up again, he seems different, almost as if he is ready to be himself and not the silly Potions professor I always thought he was.

"Chaos Miasma can only be cleared by one's body's mana production," Palladium explains calmly. "Usually, if it was this bad already, it would be a death sentence. But since you're a guardian fairy with an aura, magic, and a fairy magic core, you should be able to clear it rather easily in a few days, maybe weeks, but you'll need to be in a place where there's either no or very little natural mana production."

"But how?" I ask him desperately. "Everything, even stone, produces natural mana! Where could I go to do that?"

Palladium clears his throat as he looks deep into my eyes. He shows genuine desperation, almost as deep as my own. It's evident he cares about me even though he doesn't know me. This could be because of the unusual beginning of our acquaintance.

"The deep sea caves of Andros could be a good place," he suggests. "There are corals that absorb all the mana around them."

While I'm not a huge fan of that much water, it may be the only place I can recover and heal from it. But Palladium has opened a box he shouldn't have.

"Kerrass has a Molcussel tree that also has no mana in its root caves because it rises all up to its evergreen leaves," Daniel suddenly jumps in.

Not to be outdone, Vinok steps forward. "Felrenios has a jewel grove surrounded by countless eucalyptus trees, where the jewels absorb all the mana."

I feel a deep warmth, watching their clumsy attempts to get me to choose their home worlds to rest. But one is particularly quiet. When I turn to Callisto, he seems rather reluctant to interfere. So, with amusement, I ask him if there isn't such a place on his planet. But his cheeks suddenly turn deep red. He closes his eyes and exhales rather hesitantly.

"If you want, you can stay in my bedroom," he says quietly, cringing at his own words. "The walls are set with columns of pure white marble, held together with blankier diamond mortar, which, when combined, also absorbs all mana in the area."

Did I understand him correctly? He's joking, right?

Suddenly, Callisto sighs in exasperation. "My grandfather rebuilt our estate after his throne was stolen and made sure that not even our guardian fairy could harm him in his bedroom, and since I am now the Duke, I live in the same bedroom."

“You would do anything to get me into your bed, wouldn't you?” I ask him boastfully.

"You truly have no idea what I would do," Callisto murmurs, staring straight into my eyes, his cheeks still burning. "But in that case... I would gladly sleep in a different room if it would make you more comfortable."

I stand there, stunned, my mouth slightly open. I couldn't believe that he would not only offer himself and his home to me like that but also express his affection right in front of Professor Palladium. I want to agree and see where this takes us, but suddenly, someone else catches my attention. I've seen Brandon try to offer something earlier, but he's been interrupted several times. I turn to him and give him a hand signal to continue.

Brandon nods shyly. "My family lives in Star Valley on Eraklyon," he tells us, visibly embarrassed. But I have no idea what that means. He clears his throat when he sees my obvious confusion, seemingly trying to hide his uncertainty. "There is absolutely no mana."

His words sound so strange that I can't believe him. But Palladium suddenly chimes in and agrees with Brandon, explaining it as one of the "Zero Zones," extremely rare pheromones of magicless centers in the middle of natural, beautiful places.

"A long time ago, a star fell on Eraklyon, leading the population to believe that it was the reason for the magic-free zone, but that is not the case; there was no magic in the area to begin with."

Brandon quickly agrees. "I have to visit my family anyway; I have a few weeks' vacation to help them."

I turn to the others, and although they are clearly disappointed, they agree that it is for the best. Callisto, in particular, seems almost relieved. A strange feeling runs through my body, an uncomfortable mix of emotions. I wonder if he didn't want me to visit his house. Is he afraid that I won't want him around after this?

Unable to keep to myself, I dive into him and clasp our hands in front of everyone. His blush returns, but his gaze has softened. Without hesitation or breaking eye contact, he raises our hands. With a certain provocation in his shining eyes, he gives me an intimate kiss on the back of my hand.

I start to blush and try to look away, but I can't. Luckily, Palladium breaks the tension, telling us to get going. Otherwise, I wouldn't have much time left.

I silently thank him, but he just shakes his head, hands me my little plushie animal friend, and leads us out. No one seems to have gotten up in the classroom, but somehow I feel uncomfortable there. But I shake it off, believing I just imagined it.

[Masterlist]

[thatonegayship]

Wow! Long time since I last did one of these, but this little one-shot deserves SO MUCH love and it's so rare these days that I have the motivation to shriek, I'll be damned if I don't use my full chest 😤 glorious Tswwwit, all hail the mighty drabble!!

It will always piss me off how whimsical and non-serious you make these two, and how much that portrayal has poisoned my VERY sexily melodramatic headcanons; even I can't stand from cracking an unnecessary pun from time to time now 😔 I should figure Dipper introducing the two was well on its way with all the bullshit he had to trudge through just to get them there, and with Mabel being the first safe option to spill the consequential beans with - but I was not expecting the proceeding fallout.

The second she said she'd met The Hottest Guy Ever, I knew where it was headed. There's only ONE hottest guy in the land of Billdip, and he always manages to beat Dipper to the punchline in these particular instances, always at the worst possible moment, always with extra bullshit hidden up his sleeve. I'd say the ensuing chaos was entirely Bill's doing, but let's be completely honest with ourselves here, Mabel was way too cool with The Strange Hot Guy feeling her twin brother up like THAT for as long as he did. Just more proof that Mabel and Bill make for a tornado of trouble; they're disturbingly unfazed by the weird and bizarre.

I mean, really? Putting his hands on Dipper's shoulders was friendly enough, but sliding them down to feel his biceps was downright pornographic! "A Total Stranger" pulling that move on "Their First Meeting?" Might as well shove his tongue down Dipper's throat and wear protection while he's at it - Mabel, how did you not see the signs? At least she's being supportive.

I love how she doesn't knock Dipper down in this story, not even as a light joke. She's super supportive of her nerdy monster hunting brother and prides in his success! Maybe a younger her would take the opportunity to pick fun here and there, but she's old enough and wise enough now to understand the sheer lengths it took Dipper to get where he is now; the blood, sweat and tears of dedication and commitment (likely at the avid disapproval of distant family), following a dream is not for the faint of heart. And when she tells Dipper not to look because he'll only think Bill is out of his league, but he's not. Tears. Actual tears. You go, Mabel! Get your brother laid 😌

You can just tell when Mabel's blind enthusiasm turns to shock, then alarm. Make no mistake, I was absolutely dying when Bill started pushing things. Pulling up that shirt, grabbing Dipper's butt, then his 'little dipper,' it went from Whimsy meet-cute to Sexual Assault with record time to spare 😤

But I'll bet Mabel couldn't help thinking to herself, not again. Dipper's aversion to meeting new people can't be ALL work-related, after all; I'll bet she let her over eagerness get in the way of her better judgement once before and accidentally invited some nasty characters into her brother's life, with much regret. Absolutely jerks who wouldn't know a prostate from a Pringle if it hit them upside the head. Part of why she was SO excited about introducing him to Bill! Because he seemed so much nicer and handsomer and more genuine than the lowlifes only looking for one thing.

There's a moment of disappointment, some lingering guilt, the monumental deja vu of leading yet another asshole to her brother's doorstep - before being smacked in the face by the absolute JOY of being right on the money for once! Makes sense, in a fucked up way, that Dipper would fall for someone as obsessed and crazy about him as he is about the paranormal. Passion is attractive. Passion over things that are weird is attractive to a select few, and Dipper is as weird as it gets. Bill would hollow his own heart out and shrink Dipper to the size of a thumbtack if it meant keeping him close to his chest - and despite it all, he might even be moved beyond his own annoyance. He's powerful, deranged, dangerous, and above all else, absolutely fascinating. Bill likes him, and despite the strangeness, Dipper likes him right back. It makes everything that could be WRONG about Bill just another quirk drawing Dipper deeper into the depths of weirdness. Mabel's gotta give it to her brother on this one - he beat her out for Weirdest Crush Ever, ten-fold. That's a level of freak she'll never reach.

I'll bet you regret playing along now, Dipper. "Oh, alright, I suppose I can feed into my boyfriend's silly whimsies just this once, what's the worse that could happen 🙄" FOOL! IMBECILE! YOU WILL DIE A THOUSAND DEATHS AND FEEL EVERY WOUND! How could that possibly be a good idea? I'll give him a pass since he's clearly being swept off his feet by a sexy hunk of a demon for most of the fic, but that pass is worn and close to expiring.

Dipper, sweety, I get it. He has fangs and a forked tongue. So do most garden snakes. GET A GRIP SOLDIER! I'm starting to think you wanna be conquered and controlled by this totally evil demon guy 🙄 how many times can a man be swayed by sheer attraction and affection before they're labeled a common whore? 3? Certainly no more than that.

Either way, Bill, flawless execution of your petty prank, I have NO idea how you managed to pull it off without getting served a swift kick to the nuts, but I commend you nonetheless. You managed to receive the easiest level of acceptance in Dipper's family, and arguably the most important - just don't try that shit again, or you WILL be exercised.

Here's a stupid meet-the-sibling thing from Portal AU!

Dipper checks his watch for the third time in two minutes, foot tapping nervously against the pavement. Mabel’s usually one to run late, but not this late. 

Twenty minutes have passed since they were supposed to meet up at this coffee shop, and between the fact that his twin’s always eager to see him, and the odd magical blips on his radar in the last hour, he’s starting to wonder if she’s gotten herself in trouble. Again. 

Driven by worry, he checks his phone again - the regular one. No texts, no missed calls. A second check shows nothing on his other phone either, which is arguably just as worrying but for different reasons.

Dipper slumps back in his seat, rubbing at his eyes. 

Great. Exactly what he needed. As if this whole conversation wasn’t going to be weird enough, now he’s got more to stress about. A sister in trouble, maybe, and a magical incident, probably. Not to mention who would obviously get involved with one of those, just to add the cherry on top of a messed up situation.

He’s just about decided to get up and start investigating when he hears the shout.

“Dipper!” 

Jerking up from his seat, Dipper turns towards his sister’s voice. 

Mabel runs down the sidewalk, arms raised and waving wildly, sending her bracelets banging against each other as her earrings bounce along with her steps. She doesn’t slow down as she approaches, instead throwing herself forward until Dipper has to catch her hug with an ‘oof’ of effort. 

He hugs her back in response and gets squeezed so hard it nearly takes the breath out of him, including a brief moment where he’s worried that her earrings will catch on his clothes. 

After a moment he pushes her back, smiling. How long has it been since he’s seen her in person? Four months? Five? From the occasional phone call he knew she was doing well, but it’s good to see her looking so happy in person.

“It’s good to see you.” He gives her a big pat on the back, and gets a ‘bwomp bwomp’ in return. 

“You too, bro-bro.” Mabel steps away, then blinks in surprise. “You look great! Is that a new look?” She gives him a once over, then beams, patting her cheeks. “Oh my gosh, that’s perfect timing!”

“Well, I-” Dipper plucks at his shirt - it’s not that different from his usual, just better fitted. 

So, he may or may not have gotten a lecture on fashion. A very long one. Followed by several insistent recommendations about his outfits, including having a literal pile of clothes dumped on him out of nowhere. He didn’t think it made that big a difference. But maybe it does?

“Okay, okay, I know you had something important you wanted to talk about, but listen.” Mabel rushes to speak, bubbling over with enthusiasm. Dipper lets her take his hands and clasp them tight as she bounces in place. “I just met. The hottest guy.”

“Ugh,” Dipper groans, shoulders slumping. Not another shitty crush. He thought she was over those by now. Still, if it puts his own thing off… “What kind of jerk is it this time?”

“Okay, one? Not a jerk! And two: He’s not for me, you dork!” 

“Wait, what?” Dipper holds her at arm’s length, staring. 

“So like I said,” Mabel continues, giving him a Look. “I met this guy, and we got to talking, and he’s, like, super fun - but clearly into dudes. So I sorta mentioned a certain brother, and guess what! He likes magic, and monsters, and he even says he has a thing for nerds!” She lowers her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “It’s perfect. You’ll love him.” 

With another groan, Dipper drags a palm down his face. 

Damn it. He knows that she worries about him finding someone since he’s always on the move. Between trying to keep up with the jobs, and tracking monsters, and everything else in his life, he rarely has time for a break. Mabel playing matchmaker isn’t new. Only her choice of candidate, which sounds strangely.. On point?

Hell, a while ago - less than two months, at that - he might have welcomed an intro to this guy, whoever it is. It wasn’t like he was meeting a lot of people himself. 

But oh god. The timing.

“Look, I’m glad you thought of me, but-” Dipper starts, holding up his hands in defense.

“Oh no. Nope! No more of this ‘too busy’, or ‘probably not my type’ stuf. I vetted him Dipper,” Mabel insists, lower lip pouting out - oh god, the puppy eyes, he has to turn away -  “You’re on the road all the time and all alone all the time. So if you aren’t gonna try and meet someone, I gotta have your back.”

Dipper tilts his head back, shuts his eyes, and prays deep down for strength. 

He didn’t want to open with this information. It’s a pretty long story, one with a lot of twists and turns, even some bits that she’s going to feel very ‘I knew it!!’ about. But a little sisterly smugness is way, way better than getting dragged into a date with some guy. 

Even if Dipper turns it down first thing, it could end… Pretty badly. 

He opens his mouth to say so, and gets interrupted by hands clapping on his face, forcing him to meet her eyes.

“Oh my god, don’t look now.” She whispers, turning him back to look at her when his head instinctively swivels. “But he’s right here. I didn’t think he’d show up this soon!”

“Why shouldn’t I look at the guy you’re trying to hook me up with.” He says, flat. It comes out a bit garbled from the pressure on his cheeks.

“Because you’ll freak out thinking he’s out of your league! And he’s not!” Mabel insists, shaking him urgently. “Just be cool for once, okay?”

Dipper has never, ever been cool for a single instant in his life. He doesn’t know why his twin thinks he’s even capable of it. Add on the multiple reasons he can’t exactly flirt with some random dude that Mabel met on the street, and it’s a recipe for infinite awkwardness. 

Before he can explain why this is a bad idea, on so many levels, Mabel straightens up. 

“Hey, glad you made it” She beams at a point over Dipper’s shoulder. “Let me introduce you to-”

A cheerful laugh interrupts her, high and bright. It lingers longer than it should, seconds past the point where it’d be appropriate - then two firm hands clap onto Dipper’s shoulders, squeezing tight. 

“Well, well, well, well, well!” The voice behind him oozes smug pleasure. The grip on his shoulders tightens briefly, then slides down to his biceps in a slow, appreciative stroke. “So this is the famous Dipper Pines, huh?”

The voice, the touch. The smug, amused tone of someone pulling off an amazing joke that nobody’s caught onto yet-

Yeah, that all tracks. 

Dipper doesn’t resist when the man whips him around, frowning up into the beaming face of Bill goddamn Cipher. 

“Boy, you weren’t kidding! He is cute!” Bill exclaims, expression perfectly surprised and delighted. Like he’s never seen this face before in his life. He turns towards Mabel. “And you say this guy’s single?”

“Yep!” She gives a big double-thumbs up. Another person might mistake the way her eye’s moving as a twitch, but it’s just a million winks at Dipper, packed into too small a space. 

Bill lets out a low whistle. “Dang, that’s a shame.” The grins creeps up another fraction. “A smart guy woulda snagged him up the moment they saw him in person!”

Dipper lets out a strangled sound from his throat. Despite the… everything, his face feels hot, turning pink with embarrassment.

He glares at this smug, double-talking jackass. Bill beams back at him with unashamed delight.

From the side, Mabel hisses in annoyance at his reaction. She gestures towards Bill insistently, waving over his body, his arms. She points at his face twice, eyes wide like Dipper hasn’t seen it yet.

But there’s no point in her pointing. Dipper’s well acquainted with every part of his boyfriend. 

Including his tendency to not mention important facts.

So there’s the reason she was late. The reasons for the magic pulses - of course his stupid demon wouldn’t give him any heads up that he was already planetside. And the reason why the guy she met was oh-so-conveniently into nerds, especially ones related to Mabel friggin’ Pines. 

Why did Dipper think mentioning his family was a good idea? It’s only given Bill more chances for chaos. 

Or in this case, a really stupid prank.

“Now let’s see,” Bill says, more contemplative now. His eye roves over Dipper, head to toe. “What else you got going, kid?”

But. Okay, the attention’s nice. It’s never not been nice, even when it’s been creepy and strange and inhuman. 

Maybe playing along a little couldn’t hurt?

“I-” Dipper starts rubbing the back of his neck. If he looks his boyfriend in the eye while lying like a rug, he’ll never pull this off. “Well, I-”

“Oh! Like I said, he’s really into magic. Like you!” Mabel interrupts, bouncing in place. Her voice lowers, as if sharing a secret. “He does freelance work, y’know?”

“Is that so!” Bill’s mouth forms a perfect ‘o’ of surprise. Dipper half expects him to clap a hand to his cheek in astonishment. “Why, I never! A monster hunter? Right in front of me?”

“You betcha!” Proudly, Mabel sets fists on her hips. All too eager to hype man her brother before he’s said anything himself. “On the track of a dangerous criminal and everything!”

“Wow!” Bill, looking suitably impressed, somehow avoids having his pants set aflame from the sheer force of lying. “I bet he’s a nasty customer, too! A real devilish fellow!”

God, the puns hurt. Dipper can’t help but make a face, which gets another disappointed look from his sister, and a sinister gleam starts building up in Bill’s eye - 

Alright, that’s enough. 

Lying to Mabel would have been bad enough - but between their discussion and Dipper not getting a word in, Bill’s getting so full of himself that he might just explode. And that needs nipping in the bud, immediately.

Dipper shoves Bill back a pace, brushing off his shirt. He gives this asshole the full narrow-eyed glare and, ignoring the aghast look from his sister, flips his asshole boyfriend off. 

“Hey!” Affronted, Mabel takes a step in, taking his arm. “What the heck, Dipper?”

“Mabel, listen,” Dipper starts, only to get shushed by his sister and turned to face Bill by said asshole.

“And you’re feisty as well? Jackpot!” Bill beams, taking his head in his hands. “Now, let’s see about the rest of ya.”

Before Dipper can guess what that means  - or even ask - Bill tugs his shirt up. The only reason it doesn’t come completely off is because Dipper recognizes the motion and jerks his arms down in time. 

“Hey!” He struggles with Bill’s grip on his shirt, planting a palm on Bill’s face as he leans in for closer inspection. “What the hell, man?”

“Yep, that’s a fighter alright! Real nice view!” Bill says, after lingering too long ogling unwillingly exposed flesh. He lets the shirt drop - Dipper spends a second straightening it out - only to grab onto his butt next in a full-palm fondle. “Aha! Now that’s where it’s at!”

It’s so like Bill to start flinging compliments while completely breaking every polite convention known to man. He can never do anything straightforward. Possibly he’s allergic. With a swear, Dipper grapples with his jackass boyfriend again, trying to retain some semblance of dignity. 

Mabel stands off to the side, mouth agape. Silently staring between the two of them, too stunned to react. 

Clearly she wasn’t expecting this kind of crap. And honestly? Dipper can’t blame her. Bill’s pretty good at covering his asshole tendencies when he wants. 

Dipper can handle it, though. He’s already halfway pried the groping grasp off his butt when Bill’s other hand rotates to the front, taking hold with alarming swiftness. The high-pitched yelp he lets out is, thankfully, only from surprise.

“Hey!” And that gesture must have finally shaken Mabel from her shock, because now she looks offended. “Bill! What are you doing?”

“Cute, smart, decent body - he’s just like you said! The whole package!” Bill gives his handful a friendly jiggle, looking thrilled to have found a part to grab where he can’t get smacked away lest there be collateral damage. He turns towards Mabel with a grin. “How’s twenty bucks sound?”

The alarmed “What the hell!” from her comes out at the same time as Dipper’s offended, “Only twenty?”

“Oh, no no no,” Mabel waves her hands rapidly, the sleeves of her sweater nearly covering them in the rush.  “He’s not for sale, what the heck!”

“Oh, of course!” Bill releases Dipper’s crotch to smack himself dramatically on the forehead, shaking his head. “Because he’s his own person! With his own life decisions and everything!” His expression turns serious, nodding as if he actually cared about that fact. “No problem, Shooting Star! I’ll just kidnap him instead.”

A sudden swipe behind Dipper’s knees sends him into a swearing fall. One that’s quickly interrupted as he’s scooped up into Bill’s arms, startled and staring into an excited smile. 

Bill gives Mabel a perfunctory half-bow, bounces Dipper in his arms once - then starts sprinting down the street. 

To Mabel’s credit, there’s only a half-second pause before she follows.

“Help! Brother-napping in progress! Stop, you creep!” Mabel shouts, almost louder than Bill can manage. With some effort, Dipper peeks over his shoulder to see a flail of color trailing behind after them, one sweater-clad arm shaking in fury. “You better let him go, or you’ll regret this!”

Bill cackles louder, chest shaking - and one thing about being a demon is that he can really book it when he needs to. 

Dipper finds himself clinging to his ‘kidnapper’ tight, just to feel more comfortable about not being dropped. Not that he needs to worry about that. Even sprinting full-out and laughing, Bill’s not even breathing hard as he flees the wrath of righteousness. 

Dipper thunks his head against his awful, stupid boyfriend’s shoulder, and rolls his eyes. 

Welp. He’s not sure what else he expected. 

Bill’s always going to be Bill, after all. An evil, bored, antagonising force, bent on finding the funniest thing to do and jerking people around by it at every turn. And a vengeful, chaotic asshole. 

It’s hardly surprising that he and he took offense at someone arranging dates with his boyfriend. Whether or not Mabel knew their situation doesn’t matter in his view. It’s the principle of the thing - and, of course, a chance to be a total dick. 

But all things considered, it’s hardly the worst case scenario. 

Bill could have laid on the charm, gaslighting her into thinking he was a different kind of guy. Something that would make their introduction easier - and have her totally ignoring Dipper’s warnings about what kind of guy he is. 

But freaking her out was too funny, and that showed his true colors. And thank fuck for that. The last thing Dipper needs is another handsome guy charming her into a series of Bad Ideas.

As they round a street corner, Dipper uses the momentum to kick a leg free, planting heel against pavement. Bill slows as he tries to both stop him from falling and continue dragging him along. 

“Aw, c’mon,” Bill chides, making a valiant attempt to pick Dipper up again. “Let’s ditch the sibling and get moving! As far as she knows, I’m gonna do all kinds of dastardly things to ya. Terrible ones!” His eye glimmers, briefly unfocused - and Dipper takes the moment of distraction to get both feet on the ground. “Aww, hey!”

“Not a chance.” Dipper says, less annoyed than he’d like. He dodges another grab by stepping neatly to the side. “You’ve had your fun. Now at least try to behave for like, five seconds.”

One look at Bill’s face says that he’s not done with the fun, or at least thoroughly annoyed at its interruption - which means Dipper has to sweeten the pot. 

“I’m sure she’s panicking as we speak,” He adds, rolling his eyes at Bill’s look of pride. “And it was kinda funny. But at least try to good impression, jackass.” Resting a palm on Bill’s arm, he offers a shy smile. “Please?”

“Hmmm.” Bill hums thoughtfully. A second later, he shrugs. “Eh, sure! Probably wasn’t gonna get much mileage outta dragging it out anyway.”

Yep. Another win for Dipper Pines. He’s getting good at this demon-wrangling stuff. 

“Hey!” Mabel rounds the corner, steps clearly flagging. She leans against he building, then glares at Bill. “You can’t just-” 

Then she leans over, bracing herself on her knees as she tries to catch her breath. Dipper’s surprised she caught up this fast, but it wasn’t without effort - he thinks one of her bracelets is missing, and her hair is a mess. 

Dipper offers her a hand, but she waves it off. There’s a thoughtful sound behind him, then arms circle his waist and drag him back into Bill’s grasp. 

“So. I see you’ve met Bill.” Dipper says, finally. He glares a bit over his shoulder as Billtugs him closer to settle in, chin tucked on his shoulder. Probably wearing the very smuggest smile he owns.

“Dipper, I’m sorry,” Mabel blurts. She’s still catching her breath, face red as she flails her sleeves in inarticulate protest. “I didn’t know-”

“That he was an asshole? A jerk? A totally weird creep?” Dipper holds up his hands before she can apologize again. “No, it’s fine. I already knew that. He’s… actually what I wanted to talk to you about.”

She pauses, taking in their position. How Dipper’s not struggling, or swearing, or hexing the shit out of his ‘kidnapper’. The worried frown turns more… contemplative. The lightbulb flickers. 

Dipper takes a steadying breath. 

Here goes.

“Mabel, this is… Bill Cipher.” He gestures at Bill, then shoves his head away from his neck before he can leave a hickey. “He’s my boyfriend.”

Mabel boggles at him. There’s no other word for it. Eyes wide, mind clearly racing as she ties in what just happened with how Bill looks and what she thought everything was like just five minutes ago. 

She takes a second, before finally landing on, “What?”

Yeah, that’s a reasonable reaction. 

But if they got along earlier, they’ll… probably get along okay, right? Now that Bill’s got the initial bullshit out of his system, they might even have stuff in common. 

Thank hell for that. Romance is kind of her thing, of course she’s interested. Good thing too. Compared to the rest of his family, Mabel is easy mode. 

Only a second later she claps her hands to her cheeks, gasping hugely. Dipper can almost see the questions about to burst out.

“Let’s go back, get some coffee, and I’ll tell you everything.” Dipper smiles, but speaks before she can start interrogating them on the street. He shrugs Bill off, getting his hand seized in the process. He squeezes it back.  “Trust me, it’s a long story.”

[boobchuy]

hell yeah

[lovesickeros]

lord its so dark in here the sahara desert of tsaritsa content you are like a shining oasis. your characterisation of her compels me & mihoyo would be hard pressed to top it imo.!! caaaaan i humbly request yr thoughts on her first meeting w a reader of any kind, or maybe even multiple kinds (sagau, sagau god au, isekai, etc) if you so desire...

it really is like a desert here. being the fan of a character we aren't getting until the last damn nation is driving me up a wall but i will persevere bc if nothing else i support morally bankrupt women in media. we r in a severe drought over here but i do my best. unfortunately nothing i say is ever coherent so pull out your translation notes its abt 2 be messy

also this got out of hand but thats bc first meetings w the tsaritsa are tricky to write + a LOT of her characterization lies in deeper exploration then just surface level yknow...NOT A DIG AT YOU this is just my excuse for rambling. gently pats the tsaritsa she can hold so much complexity i do not have the word count to delve into it completely :]

gonna talk cult au for a bit here though because that's 99% of my content. and honestly? she thrives in sub au's of the cult au like villain au + imposter au. it's basically made for her. i mean, early days, the imposter au had been going around for a little while but one of the first few ideas was the Fatui taking reader in so like. it kinda technically actually was. pretty sure cult au Tsaritsa popped up because of the imposter au. a lot of it's writers kinda left though which. man am i getting old or.

anyway.

there isn't much of a chance her first impression is all that positive. at best it's usually neutral, imo, but rarely if ever positive. specifically because i view the Tsaritsa as someone who isn't as fanatical as most of the acolytes typically are towards the creator. she's not exactly going to worship the ground you walk on unlike a certain geo lizard. which is partially why i think she thrives in the sub au's i mentioned.

imposter au, for example. she meets you at your lowest. there's no gaudy extravagance or pampering from the acolytes waiting for you because your own acolytes have turned on you. for all intents and purposes you aren't a "god" at all. which is why i don't think she meshes well with normal cult au reader. the Fatui are made up of outcasts, basically, and imposter au slots right in just perfectly. you're weak, at your lowest, when you meet the Fatui in the imposter au. and the Fatui can help you, too.

a mutual exchange, really. the Tsaritsa sees a tool she can use to one up the rest of the nations and especially Archons, and she has no qualms about you using her and the Fatui in turn. you both want something out of it, after all. whether you just want to be safe from the rest of the acolytes, or you want revenge, or whatever else..she'll give you the power to fulfill it, and she gains the strongest piece on the chessboard when all is said and done.

the best way i can describe the first meeting is "practical", i suppose. she sees an opportunity in you. the ultimate gamble. because if she "saves" you, and you dont trust anyone else because they tried to kill you, well..she holds all the cards, doesn't she?

but the Tsaritsa, imo, is just as capable of being just as fanatical towards you as anyone else. she just won't worship you as the creator. but as yourself? clawing your way back to your divine power and taking back what belongs to you? the Tsaritsa is, to me, a character who's character flourishes in long-term fics more because she changes a LOT between "just met reader" and after having been with reader for some time. she's practically apathetic at the beginning but a lot of her character, in my characterization, shines through LONG after the first meeting.

[kakusu-shipping]

HELLO THERE

My name is Emile, I'm a Proship selfshipper who loves drawing other people's Self Inserts above anything else and for this week and this week only I am opening $10 RUSH ORDER SKETCH COMMISSIONS!

Do you want a drawing of you and your F/O for cheap and don't mind it being a little rough? Consider DMing me and you could get something like This!

For the low low price of $10 a sketch!!!

And as a bonus!! If you end up liking your sketch and would like it lined, colored, or even fully rendered, you can DM me next week and I will happily slash the price of a full piece just for you!!!

From right this very second through Thursday night my DMs will be open to anyone interested! I only have Paypal to accept payment so please be aware of that!

Thankyou for your time!

[sysig]

Coding woes (Patreon)

[sieglinde-freud]

i miss claude so badly im already planning my golden deer maddening run while still in the middle of black eagles. i just want my guy. my favorite guy. unfortunately i just love the black eagles as a group/cast but i am mourning my man (i never kill him btw)

[dennisboobs]

my favourite thing about the always sunny podcast is listening to rcg all say something extremely neurodivergent and then agree amongst themselves and convince themselves its completely normal

[impish-ivy]

Here’s a refresher of how Asmo and Solomon forged their pact.

Spoilers for lesson 7

Welp. That’s that.

He was not forced or manipulated into a pact in NB. He wanted to forge a pact, he literally says so.

This pact is a huge part in Asmo fully accepting he’s a demon. By saying he was manipulated into this pact you’re taking a ton of Asmo’s agency as a character away.

[j-crow]

going through my photos and its like wow…. august through october was a fucking nightmare for me

[simcardiac-arrested]

as a russian who doesn't talk to russian people online what the shit is happening there hello

look man i myself have put in the effort to Not talk to online russians for like (checks hand) 7 or so years (of course i’ve met some really great ones but this isn’t about them and they probably know it) but i’m sure the community didn’t change much. actually from the glimpses i see it seems to have gotten worse. don’t even get me startedddddd man

[laugtherhyena]

Playing Bomb rush cyberfunk has been a crazy experience so far because i feel like I've been enjoying the game just as much as I'm not doing so

[deviousdiesel]

.

[pankomako]

i bet you could make like a chart of which content creators know each other and what sorta friend groups/circles they're part of and it would just be a HUGE web with a LOT of overlap between groups and it'd be SO messy with just the sheer amount of friendships between creators

[tariah23]

ur tags on that kenjaku post… oh my god you saw that too? i was truly horrified

YEAH… I saw that shit, I hate stsg so much lmfaooo. It’s so obvious that they want Getou to be the “girl,” so badly. He’s getting the treatment of every dark haired best friend in a popular shounen 🚶🏾‍♀️. He’s too good of a character for this!

[keeps-ache]

almost done with this second part, i am SoFast :33