#that's been made abundantly clear

[knife-at-a-knife-fight]

there is something so deeply human about a person character collapsing from exhaustion. And I don’t mean “lying down after a long day,” I mean that they’ve been stressed and overworked and taking care of everything and acting as if everything is okay and working so damn hard for days, or weeks, or months until they just... can’t. As someone who’s made a career out of lying real well, and who’s had to put up with more than my fair share of bullshit, there is something deeply amicable in physically being unable to lie; in the truth of the matter overwhelming the image and facade i’ve crafted. And “break down, sobbing, and tell someone everything” doesn’t scratch that itch for me, because I don’t really have a breaking point in that way - I will keep a straight face until the moment I die if i so damn well please. 

I’ve been reprimanded and berated for emoting so i’ve learned not to, but it means that people have nothing to pick up on, even if my entire world is collapsing around me. So when I won’t betray myself - for better or worse - it does leave me at times to fantasise about my body refusing to allow me to continue for my own benefit. I often return to the notion of trying so desperately to maintain an individualist perspective and being forced to allow someone else to take care of you - if only briefly.

The loudest and oversimplified difference between Shakespeare’s tragedies and comedies is that in a tragedy someone dies, and in a comedy there’s a wedding. In mine, the defining question is “who picked them up off the floor? Someone else, or themself?”  When you passed out on the bathroom floor, did you wake up in a bed with a blanket and a cloth pressed to your forehead, or on the same, cold tiles?

I don’t want to beg for love, I’ve tried that. As someone who’s tried so freaking hard, what i want is to be loved, even when i actively avoid seeking it. I want someone to be upset that i didn’t say something rather than apathetic. I want someone to care. 

[ghost-bxrd]

Hi! Yes! Thank you! To the anon who keeps trying to convince me that Bat ships are disgusting for the x‘th time:

Consider yourself honored. I‘m writing JayTim just for you 😘✨

[markantonys]

just accidentally stumbled on an egwene hate reddit thread and everyone was bitching about how she tries to act like rand's equal when she's only the second-most powerful authority figure on the continent, and one sane person was like "well, balance was a huge theme of the series, so it's pretty clear that RJ did consider the dragon and the amyrlin two halves of a whole and that rand is meant to be egwene's equal co-authority rather than her superior" and of course they were downvoted to hell. and this one little thread just really epitomizes how the readers who approach WOT as a male power fantasy just fundamentally will never understand the series and its themes and the story it was ACTUALLY telling.

[sunrisevariant]

the way y’all write ryo being intersex makes me want to play frogger on an interstate during rush hour

[starryalpacasstuff]

Last Twilight; Mee's legacy continues

I know that we're all mad at how episode 11 went. Believe me, I am too. I'm not going to be talking about the issues in the episode, several others have already done so, and far more eloquently than I could. Because despite the episode's failings, there are still some things about this episode that I think deserve to be talked about.

I've loved keeping up with Mee's story as the show has progressed (written about it here and here). I thought that Mee's story ended in episode 9, but it continues to be present in the narrative. The most obvious clue to this is, obviously, Porjai's daughter, whom they named Mee. In addition to that, episode 11 focuses on highlighting the fact that Day 's blindness is not something that can be cured, just as Mee could never return to her life before she was cursed. Just as Mee had hoped that the last twilight would allow her to return to her normal life, Day hoped, even fully believed that the surgery would allow him to become "normal" again (the medical inaccuracies of the process aside). In the end, neither can return to a sense of "normalcy", as Mee turns to stone and Day's surgery fails. Both stories are haunted by a sense of grief, helplessness, and hope that is given and taken away. But the end of Mee's story isn't written as tragic, it's written as joyful. The exact same ending could have been written as tragic and solemn, but it wasn't. In the end, Mee was able to revel in the fact that she would never turn invisible again, despite turning to stone. And that's what I'm hoping that Day's final arc will resemble. Because we know that Day is still insecure about his blindness, and about people's pity for him. His buying that cane was a massive step in the right direction, because it showed that he was willing to "announce to everyone that he's blind", to be less afraid. But, as the breakup showed us, he's still insecure about his blindness. If the theory is right, episode 12 should show us Day accepting his blindness, and maybe even celebrate it as a part of him, as Mee does.

Mee's story has run parallel to Day's since they began to read it. Mee's story is over now, but Day's isn't. We see that Mee continues to have a presence in Day's life, be it metaphorically, through her story predicting his, or literally, through Porjai's daughter. Besides fixing a lot of the damage that was done in episode 11, if there's one thing I'd like from episode 12, it's one final call back to Mee's story.

[lumiereandcogsworth]

normal people after watching beauty and the beast: heehee hoohoo the curse was lifted and the prince is normal and happy forever!

me: actually i think the curse really traumatized adam but it took him a long time to process it because he had become an expert in repressing his trauma and never allowed himself to express or experience his emotions because his abusive father never let him. furthermore adam definitely had nightmares about the enchantress coming back and cursing him again because he wasn’t being good enough. adam was in constant fear of not being good enough because he could never live up to his father’s standards. so the enchantress seeing that “there was no love in his heart” and punishing him for it truly just manifested what his father had been beating him for all along. he wasn’t a good enough human then. and even though he’s changed and grown and found love, he’s still terrified he won’t be good enough — for belle, for his children, for himself, for his country — and he’s scared that the enchantress will find him again and curse him again and his family will suffer the consequences along side him, just as his staff did the first time. he’s scared to trust this goodness in his life, because the last time there was true goodness in his life was his mother, and he lost her all too quickly. so he wakes up in the middle of the night, frightened from the images conjured in his sleep, frightened that belle will be taken from him, that their children will be strangers to him, that the enchantress will take away his good things and make him a lonely beast once more, because he is so sure that he could never be good enough. it’s all he’s ever known.

[sleeplesslionheart]

look, if a gal ain't excited upon learning that I'm a banjo player, then she ain't for me

my dream is for some beautiful woman to be like "I want you to play for me," and then absolutely losing her mind upon hearing/seeing how quick I can pick and imagining what else that wild manual dexterity can do for her

(so I gotta keep practicing for this dream to ever come true)

[machinedramon]

My current AC (Carnifex) and the custom decals I'm using on it. the first just being its name (and namesake) and the second a rough Redguns emblem for it.

the wasp decal was just glorious happenstance, but the fact that the redguns emblem isn't a pre-set decal is a CRIME I spend AGES getting it (somewhat) right

[ladyseidr]

mighty need for michael to accidentally let something like "bloody hell" slip and watch as anyone who hears it proceeds to never let it go

[noblest-roman-of-them-all]

Contemplating the concept of "potential" when it comes to intelligence and realizing how heartbreaking Logan's "Dreams come true, that's news to me" line in the Crofters Musical.

[snoppy]

I'm sorry but I think its good that tom is saying stuff that makes you all uncomfortable. I think everyone is a little too willing to make him the hurt innocent underdog

[chirpsythismorning]

🎨 🖼️ 🌈 🩹 🧍🏽💡 🔮⚡️☄️

Blue Moon by Ella Fitzgerald

previous ⏪︎ now playing ⏩ next back to playlist

[call-me-corvid]

Manger in charge of a LOT of shit quit recently because he got a job offer that was

A) 3x his original salary, and

B) involved far less responsibility

I had worked as his subordinate last year, so naturally the head honchos asked me take over what he was doing. Not with the title, but with the “promise” that we can visit that discussion in eight months depending on my performance (yeah okay /s).

Key note: I had received a similar promise for a different manager position. (No followup mention of that promise + no significant training provided to move me towards that position) * 7 months = empty promise. Alright cool.

One month in. Not getting too much guidance (expected), told I’m doing good and need to value myself higher.

Okay. Bet.

Asked for a raise in recognition of increased responsibilities beyond my current job description, quality of work, pay scale of the position (i’m at the bottom), etc. You know, hard facts that cannot be influenced by subjective feelings of importance or relevance.

Oh let’s not forget part of the raise was the annual raise that the HR manager promised ALWAYS happens but I have not received since my annual review four months ago. That I told the HR manager about two months ago but never heard anything back on. So there was a reminder of that, as well.

Told (to my face) that I’m entitled, don’t work hard enough, issued an ultimatum (literally didn’t make any sort of threat but okay), used the owner’s words against him (literally just quoted him on something he told me about pay when I was first hired but okay), they threatened that they could easily go out and find an external hire to take on in the role I’m being “trained” for, and asked if I REALLY think any other place would hire me. Among other “”feedback.””

Okay. Okay okay okay okay. I see how they view me now. Good to know. I learned quite a few things from this conversation and I think some of those things may surprise them.

[bluewarf]

Yanno, I used to see posts on this website complaining about Nazi users here and how staff never does anything about them. Back then, my thought was, "Oh damn, that's a notable problem? I don't think I've ever encountered it; I must have gotten lucky curating my experience here."

Now I can't go a single week, often a single day, without encountering example after example of antisemitic posts with tens of thousands of notes. And they are almost exclusively posts made by left-leaning users. So yes, this has been a problem for a while, and it unfortunately isn't one that's restricted to the political right. Far from it.

As a gentile, these past few months have been eye-opening for me. I can only fucking imagine what it's like right now to be Jewish.

[antirepurp]

it's been a thought in my head for a little while but when people say that the writing in frontiers feels like something out of the IDW comics largely due to iann flynn being a writer on the comics i don't see it as an objectively good thing honestly. not because i don't like the comics or anything but because comics and video games are inherently different mediums and there are cases where you have to keep that in mind when writing for one or the other. there are much fewer limits to what you can do with a comic even within something like an american issue format. you can have a story involving multiple protagonists with their unique sets of skills in a comic because implementing something like that is as simple as hiring an artist to draw them for you. to do so in a game requires building gameplay styles for these secondary protagonists, unless your genre has very standardized gameplay for all involved characters, like RPGs, or you're doing a walking simulator or a visual novel or a kart racer etc etc. frontiers is a bit of a lackluster case of a story that would've needed the game to spend longer in development to tell itself in a way that would've done it the same justice a comic-implementation would've done. like we've all experienced rhea island in some form or another, it is one of the most glaring examples of places where story elements must have gotten cut out because there wasn't enough time to implement gameplay to support them, and unless you're hideo kojima and can do whatever the hell you want it's going to be very hard to justify including a 1 hour cutscene going over the part of the story that would've been better off as actual gameplay anyway.

obviously i enjoy the writing in frontiers it turned my brain into spaghetti but i hope that should flynn be involved in the writing for the games in the future they'll get better at writing specifically for games if that makes sense

[weird-dere-writes]

It’s 2:25am and I am now caught up on the Bleach tybw episodes

God I love this anime so fucking much

And I especially am deeply in love with specifically Ichigo even more of course

I want to fucking perish why does Bleach not get more love

It’s always gotten the shit end of the stick of all the big three when it’s so fucking GOOD

if you’re one of the people who thinks Dragon Ball is in place of Bleach in the big three unfollow me rn I will die on this fucking hill I am so serious