#that’s. my thing! my man my guy ☹️☹️☹️ my flow………….. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

maiseui · 2 years ago

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holy. fucking. shit. THIS WAS INSANE. THIS CHAPTER FUCKING ATE LIKE CRAZY HOLY CRAP I CANNOT BELIEVE U DID IT???? YOU REVIVED MIND GAMES??? LITERALLY ONE OF UR BEST FICS TO DATE???? HOLY FUCK

LEMME TELL U THIS WHOLE CHAPTER HAD ME FUCKING SCREAMING RUNNING LAPS AROUND THE ROOM KICKING MY FEET EATING MY TOES I WAS GOING CRAZY BROOOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭⁉️😆😆😆 BROO THE WAY JK WANTS ME TO GO FUCKING CRAZY PULLING OUT MY HAIR IN THIS FIC ITS WILDDD 😆😆😆😆😆😆

I LOVED IT. I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO MUCH IT GENUINELY WAS SO SOSOSOS CAPTIVATING. firstly I was chuckling at namjoon like hOMIE WAS STRESSEDDDD about the whole scandal thing Im so sorry for laughing but the way jk just blatantly ignored him and began the live so abruptly GEN MADE ME LAUGH. like all namjoon's little sighs legit were so ENTERTAINING 😭 JUST THE WHOLE TANDEM WITH SEOKJIN YOONGI AND ALL THE OTHER MEMBERS WAS OSO ENTERTAINING TOO I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC :< MAN U DO SO WELL CAPTURING THIS LIKE group roommates!au cos lets be real if we think ab that situation irl its kinda weird af but U MAKE IT SEEM SO NATURAL bc of the way the conversation flows so well? ? anyways all this to Basically Say I love the dialogue and the banter it's so well written I Lurve It. ALSO ‼️ just the way they care about aeum is so heartwarming like WOW. at certain parts I was felt genuinely touched at the way they kept drawing everything back to how she would ultimately be the one who was going to get the brunt of everything :< I hate that it's true and I'm kinda glad you highlighted this,, like female idols will get FUCKING SHAT ON for doing the same shit male idols do ????? but anyways I digress - — - THI SWAS SO GOOD. THE THEMES HERE WERE SO STRONG I REALLY LOVED THE WAY EVERYTHING UNFOLDED

LEMME TELL U I FUCKING SCREAMED WHEN HE PULLED HER INTO THAT ROOM 😭 BROOOO I JUST LOVE THE PUSH AND PULL ASPECT OF THIS FIC LIKE I GET IT WE HATE TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS WE HATE VAGUE MEN BUT DAMN BABY WHY DO I LOOOVE VAGUE MEN WHY IS THIS TOXICITY MAKING ME TWIRL MY HAIR AND GIGGLE ? ? ?? ? ? ?DAMN 😭⁉️ it's jut the way everything is written like WOWEEE I cannot express enough that I feel like you really really really nailed your characterisation here and it really really elevated the entire chapter for me - just having so much insight into aeum's pain genuinely left me speechless at parts. THE "YOU WANT TO GOUGE YOUR HEART" SENTENCE WAS INSANE. IT MADE MY JAW DROP. IT WAS SOS OSOSOSOS PERFECT?? LIKE SHE JUST WANTS TO SHOW HIM HER HEART AND HONESTLY HE PROBABLY DOESN'T REALISE THE EXTENT OF HIS OWN ACTIONS UNTIL SHE DOES??? BROO I WANT JK TO EAT SHITTTT like don't get me wrong he's perfect he's flawless in this fic (we love toxic men) but also why r u playing aeum like that. 😟 I kinda love how u showed where his mindset is that: that when he's with her, logic just flies out the window but when there's distance he kind of sobers up and tries to draw the line again. I really respect him bc obviously he's a leader and he really doesn't downplay the responsibility that comes with it: he cares a lot about the group and I think just drawing that distance from aeum aligns with his big big big passion and love for the group and what they do :< it's kind of sad yk like he's suffering in his own way LET THAT BOY LOVE ☹️

HIS id rather kiss u than focus on a game; id rather sleep with you than compete FUCING BYEEEE BITCH WHY DID YOU INCLUDE THAT. AOPUFEHJWIOHU2IUPHW SI FUCING LOST IT LIKE HOLY MOTHER FUCKING SHIT BRO LET ME FIND A GUY WHO SAYS THAT SHIT TO MEEEE 😭😭 FUCKIN SOBBING SMEARING MY SHIT ON THE WALLS UGH I LOVE LOVE LOVE JK'S DIALOGUE IN THIS FIC IT'S INSANE. also "all yours" was SO HEARTBREAKING. JUST THE WAY HE relinquishes everything in the interests of keeping the group together is :((( so :((( :((( :(((( :((( but anwayy.

TAEHYUNG !!!!! BRO!!! YOURE SSO CUTE N FOR WHATTTT LIKE JUST HIS CHARACTER IN GENERAL HE'S THE PERFECT SECOND MALE LEAD NO CAP 1!!!!! the ducking last line?? THE WAY HE ALWAYS RUNS TO AEUM'S DEFENCE AND THE WAY HE WAS LIKE NO JK IT'S NOT JUST "ANY MEMBER" IT'S AEUM U FUCKIG BITCH. like dude fuck yea. jk literally needs someone like that; someone who's going to shove shit in his face; someone who's going to ignite that little fire within him so that he has enough strength to fight for the girl I LOVE IT SO MUCH I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC JUST EVERYTHING

btw the blade was scary MOMMY COME PICK ME UP ??? BROOOO WHO IN TEH FUCUUCUKKK 😭 ALSO THE WEIRDO WHO KEEPS MESSAGING AEUM UMMMMM. ?>>>>???????????

jeon jungkook drives you to think strict criticism isn’t too bad, purely because you didn’t expect things to turn a bit steamier than intended.

as the one and only female esports player, misery was at your fingertip when your skills suddenly deteriorated. however, the stoic leader of your team—jungkook, simply couldn’t sit back. he puts you back on track, yet no one told you sparks would fly; and the crazy fact that it’s inevitable.

pairing : jungkook x you (as aeum). au(s) : tsundere!jungkook, leader!jungkook, gamer!jungkook, roommates!au. genres : fluff, (intense) mutual pining, slowburn, innuendos of suggestive themes, (a sick) love triangle.

content : you thought your skill was the one problem here, but you eventually realise you’re quite surrounded by guys that you’d like to go on your honeymoon with. clearly, consequences follow since you’re not the only person who thinks so (the rest of the world does too).

peek jungkook’s mind in this playlist.

previous chapter. next chapter. chapter directory. masterlist.

chapter six.

word count : 6.2k.

namjoon furrows his brows in flourishing concern. “you shouldn’t be reading every hate comment of yours.”

“not every.” you cheekily wave a finger of disapproval at namjoon. “they just happen to tag along with the positive comments.”

“still,” taehyung exhales loudly as if it’s his loss.

what you said is true, and the others have the wrong idea. to you, those comments rub onto you like dirt—annoying, a bit upsetting at first, but later, you just roll your eyes and brush it off.

because what girl wouldn’t be envious of you?

come on, you’d be burning in jealousy and sighing loudly if the news broke out one day and said your favourite celebrity—j-hope, is getting married—or already has four children of his own.

social media was harsh to you at the start of your career, but the moment you proved them wrong with your scores in-game, the majority of the commenters dropped a bit of their rage towards you.

but today, the world is crueller than you ever imagined it to be.

and like how thanos snapped his fingers and caused destruction in another universe, you’ve also become a menace to society like him, causing utmost destruction.

“so,” jungkook disrupts the silence with one word. “our best bet is for me to go live and clarify the news?” it’s just jungkook, but everyone’s guises turn serious as their shoulders visibly tense, including yourself.

you’re slightly worried about this, since you’re very sure there would be people who’d lower their gazes and scoff at jungkook’s fearless yet brazen approach towards the scandalous news. because knowing him, he wouldn’t seem apologetic at all. the man is empathetic to an extent, but it only applies if it’s reasonable.

“realistically, jungkook’s stance is what everyone is looking forward to.” namjoon says. “his words would matter the most, and it’d extinguish the fire faster than anything else.”

“wouldn’t that put aeum in an uncomfortable position?” taehyung steps forward, breaking the intimate circle of your members to confront both namjoon and jungkook’s idea. “it’ll look like she’s relying on jungkook’s opinion.” he crosses his arms in obvious disdain. “that won’t settle any rage directed at her.”

jungkook exhales a loud breath. “silence will fuel the media more.” he cuts himself short; you can tell his head has plotted a full, convincing argument to disagree, but he keeps it locked down for taehyung.

“i wasn’t suggesting silence,” taehyung puts a hand on top of jungkook’s shoulder before peering up into his eyes with a tense smile. “like you said, it’d fuel them more, and even then, aeum would still be taking the biggest fall.” he clicks his tongue, “you wouldn’t want that.”

“speaking for yourself.” unlike taehyung, jungkook deadpans instead of dealing with the flagged skinship. flinging the hand on his shoulder looks like his last priority.

“maybe.” taehyung replies.

yoongi’s sigh is only audible to you, since he happens to be right next to you. “didn’t think i’d see them like this again.”

“fire and ice,” jimin says curtly.

“scary stuff.” seokjin murmurs.

“you’re older than both of them.” jimin snorts.

“cockroaches could be a day old and i’d still be scared shitless.” seokjin says rather seriously.

jimin flashes him a look of slight disgust before slowly bobbing his head in understanding. “honestly,” he taps his chin in wonder. “i kind of get that.”

namjoon roughly shakes his head at their bickering, and seokjin and jimin mutually come to a wordless agreement of shutting up, only because the flame circling jungkook and taehyung is intensifying even through great silence. their eyes are sharp like knives and their lips remain thin and curved.

you cautiously eye taehyung’s hand on jungkook’s shoulder, gulping at it. “my friends,” you whisper lousily. “i have a mouth and some intelligence, let me partake in my own matters.”

jungkook and taehyung stare at you in unison like you’re a toddler unable to make decisions.

screw these guys!

you throw your arms in disbelief. “i’m definitely coming out of my mother’s womb earlier than both of you in my next life.”

“what happens if aeum and jungkook confirm the dating news?” jimin randomly asks.

you flash your narrowed eyes at jimin, hoping he figures out the fact that you are now offended. jeon jungkook was the one to instantly shut you down with denial the moment he heard that his glittery reputation is about to go downhill.

“it’s a misunderstanding.” he said.

“it’s a misunderstanding.” he actually said.

“it’s a misunderstanding.” he said genuinely.

beautiful reminder to tell you to never fall for your leader and to never fantasise about you and his future again.

“that was out of genuine curiosity.” jimin shoots both his hands up in the air; surrendering, to dodge any judgement.

“take a better look at the situation, my friend.” seokjin says. “let’s say aeum and taehyung confirmed to be dating, the majority would probably applaud and celebrate that their long ship has finally sailed.” he explains dramatically. “but if aeum and jungkook are something?”

“everyone would be upset since jungkook has the biggest fanbase, and the most questionable and intense female fans.” jimin finishes. “even worse because aeum and jungkook were never seen together until today.”

“there we go.” seokjin nods in approval.

“we’re going off track.” taehyung warns. “let’s listen to coach.”

“if we were to confirm, the rage towards aeum would multiply and jungkook would lose a quarter of his fanbase. fans will also start to become more personal, so it’ll be a matter of time until they send out private threats and malicious comments. not to mention, other teams would look down on us since we’d consume the media for dating news.” namjoon answers truthfully. “we should avoid that at all costs. not just for the team, but for aeum and jungkook.”

“and if we go along with jungkook going live and explaining the truth?” yoongi asks, sounding more invested in the conversation than before.

“it’d make things quieter in general.” namjoon clarifies. “the news about aeum and jungkook will be reduced, but we can’t expect people to stop talking about it. the public attention will still be ours, but it’ll eventually settle down after a week or two.”

“should we be worried about the malicious comments directed at aeum?” yoongi asks again. “we can clearly see that she’s the most affected.”

“realistically speaking, we won’t be able to block off every negative comment directed at her.” namjoon exhales a deep sigh, “we’ll definitely try our best though.”

you shake your head profusely, hoping to decline the protection of your members. “stop it,” you huff lightly. “i only want you to keep practicing with me until the tournament.”

“jungkook?” namjoon calls out.

turning your head to where namjoon’s concerned gaze is headed, you spot jungkook turning on his computer over at his usual desk. he almost tosses himself into the seat, getting quite comfortable before setting up his live broadcast settings in front of you and the rest of the team’s confused faces.

“jungkook.” taehyung calls out as well, except sounding more stern.

“at least try to smile, captain.” you trudge over to his side, ready to witness his deadpanning announcement towards the audience. the comment section won’t be much of an entertaining sight, but jungkook definitely will be.

“just talk for a long while, jung—” namjoon tries to fit in his advice, but jungkook doesn’t even hesitate to click the ‘live’ button. “oh, jesus.” he drops his forehead, feeling the urge to conceal his identity from the audience out of embarrassment.

just like that, the earlier conversation naturally dissipated. there’s no way anyone can speak up when every given second is getting broadcasted for the public audience with venomous tongues.

the members begin acting like they were busy with at least something—seokjin quickly jumps onto the couch and whips out his phone, continuing with his webtoon. yoongi and jimin, on the other hand, are hopeless. they literally act like they’ve been forced and paid to act—looking up at the ceiling and scratching their necks awkwardly. all of them look stupid and oblivious behind jungkook’s still expression.

“i’d sincerely like to apologise for any inconvenience our actions have caused.” jungkook finally says, but he meets silence after his one sentence. his eyes are glued to the comments rolling up crazily. “the admins will blacklist anyone that fits. i won’t tolerate any harassment towards any of our members.”

your eyes widen in panic, a flush overtaking you upon hearing jungkook’s blatant boldness. you’re desperate to jump into the rescue of your team’s supporters, but you know very well they won’t be welcoming you, especially beside your annoyingly famous leader who keeps shutting you down like his computer.

visibly, namjoon is as frustrated as you are. he’s already thinking of closing statements to the media once they try to make a topic out of jungkook’s nonchalance in front of such scandalous news. the way he’s sighing with all his might surprisingly kindles a quiet chuckle amongst the members, only because he looks overly dramatic whenever he does start to project his soft anger.

“i was worried about aeum catching a cold.” jungkook confesses the truth fearlessly. “the tournament is right around the corner. i was simply trying to minimise all risks regarding our team’s health.”

you knew that jungkook isn’t the type to beat around the bush, but you definitely didn’t predict his demeanour to be like this at all. he’s more confrontational than you ever thought. what can you expect though? it’s jungkook—the leader, at the end of the day.

his gaze casted downwards, jungkook breaks into a scoff and shakes his head. “if a team leader can’t look after his teammates, i consider them incapable.”

jungkook is too good at this.

he’s proving the viewers wrong by exaggerating his role in the team, and everything he’s pointing out is utterly understandable. he knows repeating facts is the best method to kill fire.

jungkook sighs irritatedly at the viewer’s reactions. it’s no doubt they’re going crazy over his exaggerated care towards you—the only female player in the team. “there are terms and conditions we agreed to.” he explains calmly, “dating is prohibited.”

oh…

it’s clear that the corner of your lips sink at the rule. it hasn’t been long since you started feeling this way for jungkook, and you never really thought about it being prohibited. you totally forgot about that, and for some reason, you dreamed that there was nothing wrong with this blooming feeling until now.

few seconds in, you blink out of thought to hurriedly bury your emotion by pursing your lips together. in your peripheral vision, there’s taehyung leaning against a wall. your lips zip up even tighter when you realise that he’s staring at you in concern.

with your eyes travelling back to the ongoing broadcast, you catch jungkook free of stress. his eyes have softened and so have the comments. “we’ll see you at the tournament,” he says. “stay safe and take care of yourselves in the meantime.”

like that, everyone breathes out loud as soon as jungkook turns off his own broadcast. the livestream was short and impactful, maybe like how namjoon pictured.

“you scared the living shit out of all of us!” seokjin yells from the couch. “please give us a warning next time.”

“you did well.” namjoon praises the outcome. “it was smart of you to keep it short and not react to any of the opinions.”

“i agree,” jimin says. “let’s just wait it out now.”

you shake your head, letting out an extensive breath. “i’m really, really, really sorry this happened.”

“we’re all close like family, aeum.” taehyung reassures from where he is. “this would’ve happened sooner or later.” he hints cryptically.

“that’s true.” you nod. “since we’re all close like family.” you repeat, acknowledging taehyung’s thoughts towards you.

“it’d be wise of us to all stay inside as much as possible.” namjoon suggests. “it’ll still take time for the public to settle down.”

“never went out anyway.” yoongi’s eyes pan around the living room.

“seokjin, we’ll be counting on you for our meals.” jimin cracks into a smile. “we’ll all camp inside and practice.”

“i am a filler member of the team, not the chef.” seokjin stands up with a stomp, pumping his chest out to defend himself. “but i’ll do it anyway.” he then says.

“jungkook, could you lead today’s training?” namjoon walks over to jungkook and places a hand on his shoulder. “i have to head over to the company today because of the news.”

“yeah,” jungkook says. “don’t worry.”

“alright, i’ll check back in later.” namjoon heaves out a sigh, knowing there’s heaps of work piled up for him. he straightens out the wrinkles of his blazer before waving goodbye wordlessly.

“we’re starting.” jungkook announces. “sign in and i’ll send everyone a party invitation.” he spins in his seat to face the entire team standing in front of him. jungkook eyes everyone individually, including you. again, he treats you like everyone else. “we don’t have much time.”

“sounds good.” taehyung is the first person to obediently march over to his computer at jungkook’s word. it’s like their argument never happened, but you assume this is professionalism.

eventually, everyone gathers and sits in front of their computers. the semi-circle is complete once again today, and you feel strangely protected—like you can overcome anything with these people surrounding you.

like taehyung said, they’re family.

your family.

you take your seat beside jungkook, and that’s when he finally turns his head to look at you wholly. you didn’t expect that, especially after being disappointed countless times on your own today.

“how do you feel?” jungkook asks you directly.

“safe.” smiling gently, you answer honestly.

jungkook nods once and fixes his gaze back onto his computer screen. his hand is tightly latched onto his mouse as he invites everyone into his team.

with the invitation pending on your screen, you just quietly observe the side of his face, again taking interest in the scar on his cheek. he never fails to capture your interest, but it doesn’t seem that way for him.

how can you change that?

sighing out loud, you decide to focus on your game instead. you press on the tick to your right, accepting jungkook’s request as usual. each banner in the lobby gets filled right away with the usernames of your members, but that’s when you see a private message sent to your chat box.

[34742748382] : ahhhh i didn’t expect jungkook to respond that fast with a livestream lol

[34742748382] : i guess i should try harder ^^

[34742748382] : good luck with today’s practice!!!!!!! it’s not long till the tournament

again?

it’s them again.

you hold in your breath as you feel your chest tighten in fright again when you see the same username from before—that time jungkook tried to hide the messages from you. whoever they are—they’re back, but you can’t afford to freak out.

not when the team is practicing.

scouring all your members’ faces, they all look equally concentrated to practice. no one here is on a different page. there’s determination in their eyes, which is beyond normal because the tournament is really near.

you quickly move your cursor above the username, blocking them to ensure no other messages come through. maybe your clicks were a little too aggressive, jungkook is fast to notice that something is out of place for you.

“aeum.” jungkook mutters under his breath.

“privacy, please!” you hiss quietly, feigning composure at the situation eating you alive. the anonymous’ words are preying on you bit by bit. “my little brother was spamming stupid messages in-game, spilling my old secrets and everything—”

“what’s his name?” jungkook asks, and the rest of the members hear.

um.

“my little brother’s name?” you question obliviously.

jungkook crosses his arms. “do you prefer me to ask what secrets?”

bursting into a tense laughter, your gaze bounces from jungkook to taehyung, jimin and yoongi before coming back to meet your leader’s stare. “jeno.” you toss an answer. “that’s his name.”

“is he teasing you again?” taehyung suddenly inserts, supporting your atrocious lie. he’s making you even more anxious because now you’ve got two people to explain to and beg for forgiveness if you ever get caught.

but now, you can slip out of this thanks to taehyung.

“he doesn’t learn.” you shake your head while smiling innocently at taehyung who’s in the corner. he’d never understand the meaning behind your smile though.

“aeum and jeno?” jimin repeats from metres away. “your parents are too good with names.”

“right?” you take your chance to side with jimin too. “we better get to it before i start missing them.” you say aloud, but it’s basically addressed to jungkook. “i might just run away.”

jungkook collects a deep breath as if he’s decided. “is everyone ready?”

practice ended in time with the sunset; an aurora of pink, orange and red is presented to you and the rest of your team who isn’t too bothered by the snuggly colours in the sky. it’s almost time to eat dinner, but you’d much prefer to return when you’re not caged by the thought of someone’s animosity from before. they’ve been in your mind ever since.

my god… you feel like you’ve aged ten years.

you are a corpse.

you are disintegrating.

and you hate that you’re still wondering about what tonight’s dinner might be.

in general, you feel baffled. you don’t feel too depressed, only because you genuinely do feel infinitely supported. that’s why you’ve still got the perseverance to ponder about dinner and smile when you want to. however, you can’t help but to feel disturbed about what could potentially come. you’re still far from becoming numb when you stumble across comments on the internet. how will you condone direct attacks? are you perfectly valid to be thinking about that—or are you merely overreacting because you’re flustered from the consistency of a single person behind anonymity?

distracted, you lift yourself off your chair, slide off the headset tightened around your ears, stretch your arms as you head towards the stairs. you’re the first person to sign out today. it’s only expected of you, especially after that disaster.

at times like this, you sincerely wish you could run back home.

when you reach the second floor, you slowly drag your feet to your room. there’s a fair distance for you since yoongi’s room comes first, then jimin, seokjin, jungkook and then it’s yours before taehyung. the rooms are all aligned horizontally.

as you pass the first two doors, a door swings open in front without any warning. a draft of wind shoots out, and your body jerks in surprise. you pause for a few seconds to avoid any means of planting your nose into the door, then take the initiative to walk around, still hoping to make it to your sweet destination.

wait.

isn’t that—

before you can even think, a firm force grasps your wrist to tug you into the room. you gasp in the midst, but your following breath is stolen when you lay your eyes on the owner of the room.

it was brief, but you’re not mistaken.

when did he get here?

the scent of soap is pungent—it hypnotises all your senses when your body thuds against jungkook’s chest. with your face buried into the softness of his new black t-shirt he changed into, you’re swept in a complete daze. your hands instinctively crawl to his hips, and you grab ahold of his shirt in your fists, unafraid of creasing his freshly cleaned shirt.

for a moment, the world is quiet.

it’s just you and the warmth of him.

you begin to wonder when silence inevitably abducts you. over and over again, you’re met with the same old uncertainty storming inside of your mind. perhaps your mind is playing games, or jungkook is the one playing games with you. on days jungkook makes you feel like he might just be your prince charming, you’re kicking your blanket like an idiot every night. however, it’s when you think the gap between you and jungkook no longer exists after one thing and another, he finds a way to pry it back open again by reverting to his old self—to the person you never knew.

when you’re looking at him expectedly, he’s never looking back.

when he acts friendly again out of the blue, you’re always searching for answers.

why did he worry when you were sick?

why did he feel accountable for you?

why did he take you to his room and leave you to sleep under his watch?

why did he kiss you that night when you were drunk?

why does he expect you to answer when he was the one behind everything misleading?

why does he try to keep you safe at a red light?

why is he allowed to wrap his arms around you during the times you feel most upset?

why doesn’t he tell you who hayoung is?

why does he look for an answer in you when you asked for his first?

why does he care about you?

why is he making you overthink?

because you adored him so much—as a player and even as a person, you were always blinded to everything jungkook did.

“are you alright?” jungkook speaks softly into your ear. he’s keeping the noise to the minimum, but he’s also intentional with his tone—just to make you feel like he’s the one to turn to when you’re in need. “you’re never convincing, so is it up to me to get better at reading you?”

why doesn’t he have his arms wrapped around you now?

why are you the only person holding him desperately?

“why?” you finally unleash your thoughts, your head still against jungkook. once upon a time, they were all securely locked for his sake, but now you don’t care if that all shatters. “tell me why you care.” you ask without trying to sound hostile, merely because you want him to discern your earnestness.

jungkook doesn’t say anything.

you tear yourself away from jungkook’s chest and peer up at him in despondency. “or am i misunderstanding?” you echo his words emptily, yet his face keeps still.

“it’s not a misunderstanding.” jungkook then replies solemnly. “i care so much to the point it’s uncomfortable.”

at this second, there’s nothing in this world that can beat jungkook. he’s standing right here, probably not even thinking about how your body is reacting; your heart squeezes up in desperation for sweeter words. you want to gouge your heart out and show him how many pricks there are—maybe then, he’ll think less and talk more.

“i easily forget about the tournament when you're around.” jungkook, not giving a hell about what you think anymore, harshly pulls your wrist and places your palm onto the left region of his chest. under his skin, you feel each of his thumping heartbeats—it’s rapid every time it contracts; it feels like it’s going to beat out of his chest anytime soon.

yours feels the same, except worse.

he probably doesn’t know that as well.

“when you’re here, i don’t think about the consequences.” jungkook drops his hand, letting you do the work from here onward. he now looks at you with eyes devoid of emotion; which goes against what he just said. perhaps that’s why he’s given you an opportunity to feel rather than see.

you slide your hand off his chest as you turn away. instead, you’re staring at his bed, which only torments you further at the recollection of memories piercing your mind like a bullet. “you really don’t listen to a word i say.” you murmur cryptically. “i thought i told you to stop being vague.”

“i’d rather kiss you than focus on a game.” jungkook confesses instead. “i’d rather sleep with you than compete.”

“jungkook, that’s—” you interrupt, dreading every one of his confessions. anxiety gushes in when you realise that he was slowly breaking apart too. it’s not your fault—you know it isn’t, but to see jungkook displeased with himself is hurting more than any injury out there. everyone knows that he cherishes his career more than anything.

“i’m sure you can imagine how detrimental it is to the team if a leader can’t set priorities.”

you get it now.

you’ve become jungkook’s mistake.

although you’re not fully certain if jungkook can reciprocate your feelings, there’s one thing you’re sure about: his affection. it grew beyond his control. he didn’t think it would; he didn’t think anything could blur his vision because he always believed in himself. the jungkook you know is collected and confident—in the beginning, you didn’t think he was capable of conveying such romantic emotions.

yet he’s come so far.

from the jungkook who didn’t budge at any of your rants, to the jungkook who constantly finds you to prove that you’re deserving of admiration.

maybe that’s enough for you.

“i have to value you as my teammate more than anything.” jungkook hooks a finger below your chin to raise your head up from your own shadows. you erase the bitter smile that crept up to your lips, but there’s no doubt he saw. “and with the terms and conditions we agreed to, there’s not much ahead for us.”

again, jungkook is too good at this.

“jungkook,” you breathe out thickly. “jeon jungkook.” you call out his name for the first time. his eyes dilate in surprise, and you simply smile at his eyes you seem to be obsessed with.

you can’t help it.

it’s jungkook after all.

“let’s stay apart.” you determine on your own. “we’ll go back a few steps.”

wordlessly, jungkook retracts his hand. “is that easy for you?” he asks after some thought.

no.

not at all.

as if.

“tell me,” jungkook demands an answer. “is it really?”

“someone will have to think about the consequences.”

“if that’s what you want.”

suddenly feeling your eyes dry, you habitually swipe at your eyes with an arm. the moment you pull a part of yourself off of your face, a single drop wells up in the inner corner of your eyes.

huh?

no way.

just before a tear can creep out of your eyes, you clear your throat and quickly peer up at the sky. you use gravity to your advantage to suppress the escape of a single tear. “you better come down for dinner.” you prod casually once you flick your head back down. “i’ll steal yours if you don’t.”

“all yours.”

and just like that, you back away, little by little, until you feel the back of your shoulders hit the door. you don’t think twice when you twist the handle of jungkook’s door before stepping out of his room. with your back turned against him, you let the door shut loudly behind you.

now you wipe your tears away.

the next afternoon, you dedicate yourself to another day of training with your team. it’s been a while since you stopped struggling in-game; you’re not diving in unnecessarily out of greed anymore, and that alone carried meaningful outcomes. you’ve been top fragging for the last few matches, and namjoon has been screaming in your ear in awe at your improvement.

on the other hand, everything else felt ordinary. the sky was a pale blue, the sun was shining vigorously, and jungkook acted exactly like himself. thanks to him, it was easier for you to stay far behind. because for all you know, you’ve been accustomed to this situation long ago anyway, since he never actually gave you special treatment unless the two of you were privately secluded.

not a thing in the world is going to notice your dimming relationship with jungkook. you’re the only person that can claim everything that happened between you and him as a fragment made of reality.

“aeum!” seokjin shouts from the kitchen. he’s cutting up some of the vegetables you and jungkook bought that day. “a parcel arrived under your name today with the rest of the fan mails!”

“really?” you ask again; half out of scepticism, the other half out of excitement. ever since the release of you and jungkook’s photos, fanmade letters and gifts have stopped substantially. “where is it?”

“on the doormat!”

you run to where the doormat is, and you swiftly retrieve a pink cardboard box the second you see it. your name is handwritten on the top of the box with hearts drawn underneath. the sender’s name isn’t attached, but most of the time, their names are revealed in the letters for confidentiality.

the tape sealing the box appears resistant, so you rush over to the kitchen to loot a pair of scissors. you pinch seokjin’s scissors to cut precisely along the lines of the box before gaping blankly at the content inside.

all you see is shredded pink tissue paper filling the box. your logic tells you to reach in since something could be hiding somewhere beneath the bed of shreds. the other option is flipping it the other way around, but there’s a probability that the item could be extremely fragile, hence the overwhelming amount of tissue paper.

or… there could be nothing in it.

that all aside, you put a hand inside the bed of shredded tissue paper in an attempt to grab anything tangible. swivelling your lost hand for a few seconds in the unknown, you’re thinking you might’ve been baited.

“i thought so.” you snicker. “such effort too.”

your hand feels for anything on each side of the box, and just when you thought you’ve seriously been toyed with, you feel something slit the base of your hand. the burning sensation is enough to force a whimper out of you, but you tighten your lips, adamant to keep the pain hidden.

you promptly pull your hand out, only to confront blood—it’s flowing constantly out of your hand, but not strongly. the heat consumes your fingers before engulfing your palm. from the top of your hand to your forearm, your blood drips down, staining your arm and shirt in no other colour but red.

you try to find the bleeding source; it’s obvious a blade slashed your palm diagonally. the blade cut you when you tried to hold whatever was inside; you gripped onto it instinctively without any suspicion at all, thinking it might’ve been something more pleasant.

biting down onto your lower lip, you apply pressure with your remaining hand when the blood drops onto the tile. it almost sounding like persistent spits of rain. clearly, your one hand isn’t enough to stop the stream; you’re helplessly leaving a trail of your own blood with every step you take away from seokjin.

who sent this?

an anti-fan?

it’s someone who’s enraged about the news of you and jungkook.

you’ve heard about this before—if “fans” can pour superglue into orange juice and are also fully capable of gifting dead animals; it’s no surprise someone was brave enough to hide a blade to stop you from competing.

“aeum?”

the terror of watching taehyung’s face lose all colour and turn immobile from shock sucks every breath from your mouth. upon realising that it’s your blood in your own hands, taehyung breaks free to jolt to where you are. his hands stretch out to apply extra pressure onto your wound, and you involuntarily wince at the sharp pain nipping at your separated skin.

“who—” taehyung is seething. he’s losing every whit of sanity; you can tell just by hearing him breathe—it’s becoming more and more shallow with more time passing. his hand is shaking tremendously as you watch your blood stain him too. “what’s going on? you need to explain—” his head snaps in every direction to find a clue on what exactly happened. eventually, his breath hitches when he detects the box sitting at the table. “who sent that?”

“i don’t know,” you answer truthfully. you thought you’d find at least a note in there somewhere. “maybe someone who’s upset?” you try to jest in this situation.

speechless with rage, taehyung tugs on one end of his scarf around his neck, removing it in one swift motion. “i’m taking you to the hospital.” he suggests pensively before tying the scarf around your hand to compress the bleeding. his remaining grip builds up the pressure against your now clothed gash, but at the same time, taehyung’s hands are getting dirtier by the second.

with taehyung’s quivering hand still cupping yours, you put your hand on top of his to calm him down. “taehyung.” you whisper while you squeeze his hand. “we shouldn’t.”

if you get caught with taehyung this time, you really wouldn’t know when you’ll be back on stage.

taehyung finally looks up to meet your eyes. “if this gets infected, you seriously won’t be able to compete.”

“i’m not saying i’m going to ignore professional treatment, dummy. i don’t want it to be infected either.” you reply honestly. “let’s get namjoon to call someone over.” you tilt your head cheekily, “he restricted me from going out, so i’m going to use it to my advantage when i can.”

“what the—” seokjin’s jaw drops at the sight of you and taehyung fiddling with blood. “what happened? what did i miss?” he fires a bunch of questions. “oh god, who’s blood is that?”

“i was right behind you too.” you glare playfully at seokjin.

“i’m—” seokjin stutters. “i’m going to call namjoon, and we’re going to get you to the hospital—holy shit, what if you need stitches?”

“shut up.” you deadpan unseriously. “can we be optimistic?”

“how do you expect optimism when you’re losing blood?” seokjin argues in growing concern. “i’ll come back with the emergency kit, so you stay right there!” he then spurts up the stairs, making a ruckus in the house. if anyone else is home, it’s only a matter of time until they lose their guts too.

“sorry,” taehyung’s voice comes out soft and glum. perhaps he’s found some composure after covering your wound. “i went a little too overboard, didn’t i?” taehyung sighs, “getting mad and all.”

“you’re kidding me.” you gasp inwardly before crumbling into a faint chuckle. there’s absolutely no reason for him to feel apologetic when he saved you from paranoia. “i was thinking about calling you my saviour from now on, and what? you’re saying you went overboard?”

now taehyung flashes you a smile. “i would’ve preferred myself to be calm for you.”

“well,” you smack your lips together to make an amused sound. “i’ll gladly accept both sides of you.” taehyung narrows his eyes like he has something in mind, but because you’re you, taehyung is too predictable. “and also your other sides too. maybe i should pick a favourite—”

out of nowhere, you hear a click reverberate from the front door. the sound should be unnoticeable to a person’s ear, but it’s merely because you and taehyung are situated quite close, the two of you catch the noise at the same second. your attention diverts instantaneously—from your injury to the next person who’s bound to witness your messy casualty.

the door opens, and your heart convulses when you watch jungkook enter indoors with a lowered gaze. there’s a piece of paper scrunched in between his balled fingers, and the expression he dons is off. his face is contorted with pure, undiluted anger; his jaw is clenched and his eyes are dull, deprived of life and light.

did something happen to him?

your curiosity chained you—before you can even think of potential answers to respond to another person about this cursed accident, your eyes are at level with jungkook’s when he turns his head around decisively. the inevitable happens, and you’re caught up in another knot the moment you observe his face darkening more. unlike taehyung, there isn’t a sense of urgency in him, solely disturbance. he glowers at your hand like he knew what he was walking into.

does the piece of paper have to do anything with his reaction?

it must be.

despite jungkook’s appearance, no one in the room comments about his arrival. you’d think taehyung would, but he doesn’t move his mouth.

“i brought the emergency kit—” seokjin reports back to the scene that’s now completely quelled. there isn’t space for seokjin to fit in, and same goes to you—who would even dare to if they’re driven in the middle of fire and ice?

“give it to me, seokjin.” you say quietly, enough to not break the flurrying tension.

“pass it to me.” taehyung intercepts in an antagonistic tone. he grabs ahold of the kit from seokjin before bringing your aching hands closer to him; physically encouraging you to follow his lead.

you can’t help but to hesitate; the idea of simply dismissing jungkook out of spite is unacceptable on your end, but you can’t leave taehyung alone either—not after everything he did for you.

so you just stare back at jungkook, nodding at him to induce him to understand you’re fine (though he never literally asked), but you think this is the best you can do, otherwise you’ll just be walking away from him, seeming like you never want to turn back around.

“taehyung,” jungkook calls out when you and taehyung’s backs ultimately turn against him.

to your surprise, taehyung faces jungkook immediately whilst deadpanning. “what is it?” he answers coldly, holding your hand tight.

“am i not worthy of an explanation?” jungkook walks up to taehyung, automatically drawing him near to you as well. taehyung cocks his brow at him, and you sigh knowingly. “a teammate of ours is injured.” jungkook asserts a fact.

“aeum is injured.” taehyung corrects nonchalantly.

#all in all #u ate #you really genuinely ate #this is definitely one of my fave chapters from you every like across every single fic chapter you've ever published from any story #this is so up there #I love it #the way you focused on the characters and really fleshed out their feelings #THAST MY SHIT RIGHT THERE.#THIS IS PERFECT.#IM IN LOV EI LOV EIT #mai reacts

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