#that’s your personal choice and there’s no wrong answer there
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vivianblue · 2 days ago
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Doesn't the existence of bell hooks along with her compassionate and phenomenal works literally disputes the whole idea that "The Left hates men" though?
bell hooks IS part of The Left, and correct me if I'm wrong but her central thesis in "The Will to Change" and "All About Love" isn't to point out how it's failure on leftists for not coddling men enough, but to point out how the patriarchy hurts men as well. The people who should read bell hooks are not mean leftists, but precisely MEN who feels they can and should deserve better than what this system of oppression has to offer them, and open up their perspective beyond the false dichotomy of "Accept Calvinism & Eternal Punitive Justice from The Oppressed" OR "Be The Oppressor & Enjoy Your Privileges (you earn this by being more Superior than other people)".
Men being drawn to the alt-right pipeline is not due to mean women and leftists. It's because like,... it's good to be a man under the patriarchy, because it benefits men at the expense of other people. This is just basic sociological analysis backed by historical facts that we should agree on. However, in some situations even by stating: "privileges exist and a lot are unearned/built on oppressing other groups", you would already be inviting a lot of hostility, because acknowledging this issue for a lot of people is Emotionally Challenging (and I'm saying that with no attached judgement).
We can examine a similar emotional response to see why this would be challenging - White Fragility. According to Ford, Green & Gross (2022), the psychological process underpinned it goes like this:
1. Generally, people want to be viewed as a Good Person.
2. Acknowledging systemic issues and how integral one's role as the "oppressor" in those issues can feel incongruent to the goal of wanting to be a Good Person (and might lead to guilt or shame).
3. This feeling can worsen when the person feels like they don't have the resources necessary to tackle a particular situation without coming off as a racist/sexist/transphobic/etc. (aka what many people would internalize as a Bad Person).
Many men could start out wanting to do good, but then find out that "doing good" requires more than just extending niceness on an individual basis. It's also about working on yourself and learning more about the world and other people's experiences and actively preventing harms, because anyone has the potential to do harm and the damage caused is in correlation to how much power you have over others. Everyone is capable of being racist/sexist/transphobic/etc. in a society where those actions are so normalized. Doesn't mean everyone is Inherently a Bad Person, but it does mean there are a LOT of choices to navigate and you will make mistakes, and people are going to be understandably cautious around you if you haven't worked on yourself enough since again - you can harm them. It is unjust to force people to love you, especially at the threat of you becoming a violent raging Nazi.
The dilemma of "Why should I help the people I've harmed when I get nothing but feeling of shame in return" are common human issues, and it's not entirely unique to cishet white men. The alt-right denies the questions entirely by saying that "No men, YOU have never done anything wrong. If anything it's those minorities and women who are harming you, and you're in the right for wanting to punish them back." Why takes responsibility when it turns out, you're the Good, Rational and Superior Guy all along?
The real answer is quite direct and Literally lies in bell hooks' writings, specifically "All About Love", and is only made difficult and obscure by the relentless effort to paint feminists and leftists as this homogeneous, hateful group who want to antagonize men. It's not about the unconditional love that women and The Left MUST have for men as a Reward for existing and being such a Good Boy. It's about the Love men should have for themselves and the world. Why must you do good by yourself, by women, by your fellow men, by your sons or daughters or neighbors or community? If you love someone, you want the best for them. The best for who and what you love would be for you do good actions and make good decisions that benefit everyone, and yourself. Love is not earned, it's something you do.
“The first act of violence that patriarchy demands of males is not violence toward women. Instead patriarchy demands of all males that they engage in acts of psychic self-mutilation, that they kill off the emotional parts of themselves. If an individual is not successful in emotionally crippling himself, he can count on patriarchal men to enact rituals of power that will assault his self-esteem.”
At the end of the day, women and leftists aren't the problem. It's the lack of resources re: point (3) and again, not due to leftists not providing them, but due to the patriarchy and people having an interest in not seeking them out or censoring them (e.g. the attack on critical race theory in uni).
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I couldn't have said it better myself.
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mythalism · 2 days ago
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more me verbally processing my feelings on this game and it's story that i sent in discord but i know reading these things can be helpful to others processing so im sharing them here <3
even though i think i personally am able to find coherent meaning in solas's ending, specifically the status of the veil, and i do think its good and i like it, i really have to work to do it. the way its written is kind of confusing because the message is like ok. let go of your regrets. but you also have to atone for your mistakes. but solas believes he is atoning by taking the veil back down and bringing immortality back and making sure more spirits are not turned into demons? but the story tells us that version of atonement is Wrong, but why is it wrong? because people will die? but people also die because of the veil? mages are mass incarcerated and lobotimized bc of the veil, elves have been enslaved for millenia, PEOPLE AGE AND DIE, BECAUSE OF THE VEIL? so he isnt supposed to atone for that mistake by fixing it he's just supposed to accept it and let go? so are we supposed to atone for our mistakes or not? what determines whether or not we need to atone? he has to atone for what he did to the titans but not what he did by accident to his own people i guess? and he is going to atone by maintaining the status quo that he created because people have gotten used to it?
i think the answer based on the regret prison scene with rook escaping with varric's help and that banger line of varric's is to take accountability and own up to your choices, they are yours and no one can take them from you. rook says something to one of the regret statues (for me it was harding) thats like "i made a choice and so did you and you knew the risks" or something so i think that is the key. solas cannot accept his choices and so he is desperate to undo them no matter what kind of harm it may do. he is trapped in regret and the past to the point that he cant accept them and move forward, and varric is the perfect contrast of this with how readily he accepts his death as a consequence of his love and hope for his friend. even mythal accepts her own choices when she tells solas that she turned him from his purpose. and she doesnt apologize or even express regret at all, partly because shes a crazy bitch (affectionate) but partly because i think her quiet, cold acceptance is part of the lesson solas needs to learn in that moment. solas is constantly saying, "im sorry, but", "ir abelas, vhenan, but i cannot". mythal just states her actions plainly; i forced you to take a body, i brought you into war, these burdens are ours to bear together, i release you. no apology, no rumination, she is at peace with her decision even though it is wrong. i think this works wonderfully on a personal individual level of personal regrets. it is a good lesson; regret does not serve any purpose other than to hurt you. it brings no one back, it helps nothing, it does not make the world a better place. solas has to let go of his regrets so that he can become the hero that varric sees deep down in him. it is an essential part of his personal journey as a character... but it gets stickier when we are talking about systemic change. obvi a lot of dragon age's modern, young audience is very much in favor of "tear it all down!!" and i am too but i think with solas they are trying to tell a very personal and individual story of a man and his regrets rather than make a social commentary on radical change, but they also dont make that clear enough, so the two get muddied together when it comes to the question of the veil in a way that feels like they are advocating for maintaining the status quo, which i dont think was their intention.
i think this is so muddied because inquisition very much makes clear commentary on systems and institutions with the chantry, the orlesian empire, ferelden monarchy, mages and templars, and the inquisition itself being all vulnerable to corruption, and solas has a lot to say about all of this and he is very much presented as being right (like when he tells you about the corruption in your own ranks in trespasser and how hes spying on you lol) and then veilguard does not do this AT ALL, all of the issues are very personal ones of people and their identity, people and their family, people and their regrets etc. so i think a lot of us are in this mindset from inquisition of like.... yeah disrupt the status quo install a puppetmaster elf to rule an imperialist empire, make leliana pope and radicalize the chantry even if its bloody, dissolve the inquisition, abolish the circles etc. etc. and the question of the veil is very much an extension of these philosophical questions about systems and organizations. and for those of us who leaned towards dissolution of all of those corrupt structures, dissolution of the veil is the logical conclusion to a story thats sending us that message. but then veilguard just. does not even engage with these topics at all. like its not even a question. it takes the question of the veil and translates it into a personal issue of solas's psyche (which is super interesting, just different) and connects it to his past actions, his relationship with mythal, and his perception of himself, rather than a macro-level question of what is best for the world when pursuing change, and the answer for solas on a personal level ends up being different from the answer that inquisition was asking us, but it feels disjointed as a result.
so the veil staying up was the right decision because it forced solas to let go of his regrets and the game is about him. so it was an exercise in his therapy session with his two ex-gfs and some annoying kid who wont leave him alone. but the problem is it doesn't answer or engage with the greater questions and themes about systemic change that the series has been building up to.
veilguard is interesting because it wants to be dragon age 2 so bad while simultaneously being terrified of dragon age 2. solas bringing down the veil would have been the answer to the question that anders blowing up the chantry asked, but veilguard decided to ask a completely different question instead. and i think it did a good job in that specific goal, but it doesnt satisfy 15 years of build up and instead just throws it out the window in favor of something else.
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fayes-fics · 4 hours ago
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The Ballad of Blunt Pencil & Pizza Wheel
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, modern AU
Summary: Comedy texting fic. Childhood frenemies moving in together is a great idea. Isn't it?
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Warnings: None really. Swearing, references to sex, masturbation, dirty talk and spanking. Frenemies to lovers. Comedy. A fuckton of sass. Bridgerton family shenanigans.
Word Count: 3.9k tricky with text fics ngl
Author's Note: Request fill for @shadowsatine14 (who asked for frenemies to lovers who move in together) and Anon (who wanted Ben and reader to have been secretly in love with each other and get together after she has a breakup). I suspect this isn't at all what either of you wanted, but it's what the muse insisted on as a response. Thanks to the ever-patient @colettebronte, who willingly reads my silliness, including a partial version of this nonsense. Enjoy! <3
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BB: *Fraggle Rock theme tune*
Y/N: Why don't you just say hello like a normal person? Y/N: *Insert sighing emoji here* (I can't be arsed to find it)
BB: Excuse me, this is actually a very supportive message BB: I heard from El you got dumped
Y/N: And how does an 80s kids' show theme song help me with that??
BB: Have you paid attention to the opening line??
Y/N: No…? Y/N: Too busy enjoying the rocking guitar tbh
BB: Fair BB: 🎶Dance your cares away, worries for another day🎶 BB: See?? supportive
Y/N: You are so weird Y/N: And also oddly accurate. He was a total muppet
BB: It’s taken you 30 years to figure that out?? BB: Sorry to hear it
Y/N: No, just… appreciating it. Well, you Y/N: Thank you, by the way
BB: 🫶😀
3 weeks later
Y/N: What is the capital of Burundi? Pub quiz is getting fractious
BB: Why don't you cheat like every other team and just use Google? BB: Why bother old friends?
Y/N: Oh, I'm sorry, Mr Charisma, I didn't realise your Tuesday night was so busy
BB: Friends don't leave friends who love pub quizzes out of their pub quiz teams 😛
Y/N: You're cute when you sulk Y/N: So… the answer?
BB: I’m not Jeeves  BB: Look it up yourself
Y/N: Wow, you really are such a blunt pencil
BB: ??
Y/N: Pointless
BB: Alright, pizza wheel
Y/N: ??
BB: All edge, no point
Y/N: *has left the conversation*
BB: Typing it doesn't make it happen
Y/N: *HAS LEFT THE CONVERSATION*
BB: Neither does yelling it pizza wheel
Y/N: Don't make me call you pencil boy…
5 weeks later
Y/N: Pencil boy, it happened again
BB: Yeah… definitely don't like that BB: What did?
Y/N: Send TV theme…
BB: *Fraggle rock theme intensifies*
Y/N: Thank you
BB: No problems BB: Sorry to hear it
Y/N: Me too. Really thought this one would stick Y/N: He even liked my Cabbage Patch kids 
BB: You still have that shit?! BB: They are low-key terrifying
Y/N: He did turn them all around when we had sex though 🤔 
BB: Got his number?
Y/N: Why??
BB: Sort of agree with him on that. Might want to be his friend, not yours
Y/N: Shut up, Pencil Boy
BB: Pizza Wheel BB: We have to stop flirting like this 👀
Y/N: Pffft  Y/N: This isn’t flirting 
BB: Isn’t it?
Y/N: Are your clothes still on? 
BB: Well, yeah…
Y/N: Then it’s not my style of flirting 
BB: Bit slutty (supportive)
Y/N: The brackets saved you there, Pencil Boy
BB: Well aware BB: You’ll be okay. There’s someone better out there for you BB: Someone who appreciates Cabbage Patch kids
Y/N: THANK YOU. Was that so hard?
4 days later
Y/N: Can I call you?
BB: Yes of course BB: What’s wrong?
Y/N: Best explained over the phone  
BB: Okay. I’m here BB: Whatever you need
2 hours later
Y/N: Thank you friend Y/N: Just… thank you 
BB: Anytime 🧡 BB: I meant what I said BB: If you need it, it’s yours
Y/N: You are a great and wonderful friend Y/N: I may well do so 🧡
BB: You are always welcome here. For as long as you need
Y/N: 🫂😘
1 day later
CB: You invited Y/N to move in with you?!?!
AB: 😳 Surely not?!?! AB: He can only have one colossally bad idea a week and that hoodie was a choice
BB: Good evening to you too brothers BB: Hope you’re well BB: I'm fine, thanks. You?
CB: Yeah yeah whatever CB: I don't see a denial here
BB: 🤷 
AB: You fucking idiot
BB: Why? I’m trying to help a friend here BB: I thought it was a nice thing to do?
CB: It is 
AB: Usually 
CB: There’s just one problem 
AB: You are completely in love with her and have been since you were 5
BB: Pffft BB: Please…
CB: That’s your denial??  CB: Even I could do a more convincing job than that
BB: Pen would suggest otherwise…
AB: Don’t fling mud to distract AB: We are talking about your stupidity atm, not his
CB: Oi
AB: Don’t even
BB: Listen… she just got dumped for the 100th time BB: Her flatmate is moving out cos they lost their job BB: She can’t afford the rent on her own or a place by herself at the moment cos she’s still burdened with debt resettlement from her criminal asshat ex from 2 years ago BB: She needs to be in London for her job and her parents have moved to Wales BB: What would you have done?
CB: Tell her to move in with El?  CB: Or literally any of her other friends?!
BB: Well I have a spare room…
AB: So does El
BB:
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AB: Memes? Really?
CB: You’re just jealous cos you can’t figure out text attachments
AB: Shut up
CB: Kate thinks it’s hilarious
AB: Leave my wife out of this
*BB has left the group*
*AB added BB back into the group*
AB: You don’t get to quit being our brother 
BB: Shame
3 minutes later
CB: Wait… What did you mean about Pen?
AB: How can you be this stupid? I paid for you to go to Eton…
*BB has left the group*
AB: Can’t fault him this time tbh
*AB has left the group*
CB: Rude…
1 week later
EB: I have a spare room y'know
Y/N: I’m aware
EB: So why subject yourself to Ben?
Y/N: You are all so horrible about each other 
EB: And you love to watch it 
Y/N: 🤷‍♀️🍿 Y/N: Anyway, I’m here now Y/N: He bought new bedding for me 🥹 Y/N: I didn’t have the heart to tell him I already have 4 sets
EB: I know he’s my brother and thus deserving of shit. But don’t torture him too much
Y/N: What the fuck are you talking about?
EB: I suspect he has a leeedle crush on you tbh
Y/N: Pffft Y/N: No he doesn’t Y/N: All we do is call each other names and snark  Y/N: It’s been that way since 1994. I don’t see it changing anytime soon
EB: It’s like she’s never read Shakespeare
Y/N: That’s BenedicK, not BenedicT
EB: Funny how you knew exactly what play I was referring to, Beatrice
5 seconds later
Y/N: Gen… Is Ben into me?!
GD: What’s brought this on?
Y/N: Answer the question!
GD: Why are you asking me if my ex likes you?
Y/N: Please… You fucked like twice 3 years ago and are still friends Y/N: Don’t pretend there is any trauma here Y/N: I’d really like to know, seeing as I’ve just moved in with him 
GD: You fucking did WHAT?! GD: Why?!
Y/N: I needed a new place Y/N: He was the first to offer
GD: What kind of rash reason is that?! GD: I have a spare room GD: El has a spare room GD: Dave and the gambling debts in your name weren’t bad enough…? GD: It’s like you’re actively trying to live in a Greek tragedy, I swear
Y/N: Don’t invoke that shit’s name
GD: Sorry GD: But really…
Y/N: So you’re saying he’s into me
GD: For an intelligent woman, you know fuck all GD: Even about yourself
Y/N: Why are all my friends so rude to me?!
GD: Bitch please. You are so in love with him
Y/N: I’m not
GD: Yes you are  GD: He’s always the first person you text when you have a breakup
Y/N: Yeah… cos he’s the only one of my friends who ISN'T RUDE TO ME
GD: OR you always want him to be the first to know you’re single again
Y/N: Not sure I want to be your friend anymore
GD: Fine. Give me back my Canada Goose coat
Y/N: Let's not be too hasty now…
2 days later
BB: Do we have milk?
Y/N: How should I know? I don’t drink the stuff
BB: Aren’t you working from home today?
Y/N: Yeah? And?
BB: You have these amazing things called legs…
Y/N: I have a block button too y’know
BB: You wouldn't block the hero who single-handedly removed 2 spiders from your room last night
Y/N: … … Fiiiiine
20 seconds later
Y/N: We, or rather YOU, could do with some more
BB: Okay. Thank you
Y/N: If you’re in the mood, I wouldn't say no to some cheesecake
BB: I’m not in the mood BB: Mostly because you are lactose intolerant and won't stop bitching about the regret afterwards BB: I’ll get you some non-dairy brownies
Y/N: What kind of flatmate are you?
BB: The awful kind who looks out for your best interests
Y/N: Urghhh, the very worst
3 days later
Y/N: Bennnnnnn!! BEN!! SOS!!! Y/N: ANOTHER 🕷️
BB: It’s fucking 3am
Y/N: That's why I texted Y/N: So much politer than screaming and banging on your wall Y/N: It’s not my fault you live on some kind of spider superhighway Y/N: I never would have moved in here if I knew
BB: It’s harmless. Go back to sleep
Y/N: What about if this time it’s some poisonous one that crawled from a Shein package? And you wake up to a dead flatmate?
BB: Arguably, that’s appropriate payback for your endorsement of such a horrendous company
Y/N: I don't judge you for your odd shelf of little rocks Y/N: So don’t judge me for my sparkly shoe addiction
BB: How about I lend you a rock to throw at the spiders?
Y/N: How could you?!? I don't wish death upon them Y/N: Just for them to live their lives nowhere within my vicinity Y/N: You know you would have been back to sleep by now if you had just come in here?
BB: I’m aware BB: I have no idea why I’m still arguing with you on text BB: Slightly worried what that says about me tbh
Y/N: IT’S MOVING TOWARDS ME
BB: omw
9 days later
KB: You guys need to stop
Y/N: What? Y/N: Why are you texting from my kitchen?
KB: Look at yourself KB: It’s not your kitchen. It’s my brother-in-law’s
Y/N: I live here too, Kate
KB: And you need to stop
Y/N: STOP WHAT?
KB: Do you see where your feet are?
Y/N: ??On the sofa??
KB: They are in Ben’s lap
Y/N: And??
KB: He has his hands wrapped around your ankles
Y/N: And?? Y/N: I get cold. He helps me sometimes
KB: When are you guys going to admit to what is happening here
Y/N: NOTHING IS HAPPENING
KB: Sure Jan
Y/N: Get back over here with the Monster Munch. I need Netflix snacks, not judgement
KB: I’m just saying… I pulled this shit with Ant and you rightly called me on it
Y/N: MONSTER MUNCH KATE
KB: Don’t glare over at me like that. Way to make it fucking obvious…
2 seconds later
*BB added KB and Y/N to a new group*
BB: What are you two arguing about?!
Y/N: Mind ya business, Pencil Boy
KB: Your lack of decent snacks
BB: Not my area. She is responsible for all junk food purchases in this household. I will not be held liable.
3 seconds later
KB: Pencil boy??
Y/N: It's a long story
4 seconds later
*AB added KB, BB & Y/N to a new group*
AB: ARE WE WATCHING THIS FUCKING FILM OR NOT?!
1 month later
Y/N: Gen… I fucked up
GD: What did you do??
Y/N: I should never have moved in here
GD: Yeah, I told you that weeks ago GD: Why the sudden revelation?
Y/N: He has a girl here
GD: And?
Y/N: I can hear them… thru the wall
GD: Yikes GD: Go for a walk or something
Y/N: No Gen. It's worse Y/N: So much worse Y/N: I can hear what he is saying
GD: GO FOR A WALK
Y/N: Gen help Y/N: Help Y/N: H.E.L.P. Y/N: It's turning me on…
GD: I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW ANY OF THIS!
Y/N: I had no idea he was a dirty talker
GD: I could have told you that…
Y/N: Why didn't you?!
GD: Why would that ever be relevant to our friendship?!
Y/N: You know that’s my weakness Y/N: You should have WARNED ME
GD: HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO PREDICT YOU WOULD EAVESDROP ON HIM HAVING SEX?!
Y/N: This is so awful Y/N: I don't know what to do Y/N: I’m in a quandary Y/N: A damp quandary
GD: Eww T-M-FUCKING-I
Y/N: I might as well just masturbate at this point
GD: I am hanging up on this text thread GD: I’m also off to put this phone in Dettol. Don't text me again for another few days
2 days later
BB: Why are you avoiding me?
Y/N: I’m not
BB: Yes you are BB: You haven't been home the last two nights BB: El said you’ve been hanging around her place 
Y/N: Ok fine. I am Y/N: This is so awkward Y/N: I… I heard you Y/N: Having sex  Y/N: I’m weirded out, okay?
BB: Shit… BB: I’m so sorry  BB: I thought you were out on a date
Y/N: It got rescheduled
BB: I'm so sorry BB: Next time I have company, I will double-check if you are home first
Y/N: Thank you Y/N: I will do the same
BB: Much appreciated BB: So, will you come home?  BB: There’s a new series of The Cleaner tonight 
Y/N: It's not real blood, you know?
BB: I know, but it looks like it
Y/N: You can't keep hiding behind me. You miss key plot points. It's a comedy show, you know
BB: Just get back here, Pizza Wheel
Y/N: Calm down, Pencil Boy I’m on my way
9 days later
BB: Send him home
Y/N: ??
BB: You heard me
Y/N: Why are you eavesdropping on my Tinder hookup?
BB: Don’t make me come in there and be a caveman about this. Just… BB: SEND HIM HOME
Y/N: I need sex
BB: Not from a twat like that you don’t BB: When he is out of the bathroom, I want you to send him away
Y/N: … Fine
3 minutes later
BB: Thank you
Y/N: You owe me a bloody orgasm
BB: He was likely incapable of giving you one  BB: When you are sober, you will thank me BB: And probably regret that last comment
Y/N: I regret nothing Y/N: I DARE you Benedict fucking Bridgerton Y/N: I fucking DARE you to give me an orgasm
4 hours later
Y/N: Gen Gen Gen GENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN Y/N: I know it's 2am, you are probably asleep, but I have to tell you smthg right the fuck nowwww Y/N: So, Ben went all protector shit on a loser I picked up on Tinder Y/N: Made me throw him out Y/N: I bitched that he owed me an orgasm Y/N: Might have been a bit too sassy, too many drinks Y/N: Anyway GENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN Y/N: GENNNNNNNNNNNNNNN Y/N: He stomps into my room, and god, he just…. Y/N: ARGHHHHHHHH Gen, he just took me, like respectfully, but also not at all respectfully Y/N: HE GAVE ME TWO Y/N: I am floating on a cloud. I can't feel my fucking knees Y/N: My flatmate is the best fuck I have EVER had Y/N: THIS IS TERRIBLE AND WONDERUL Y/N:  I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE Y/N:  HELP  Y/N:  PS Pls don't tell anyone
20 seconds later
BB: Stop freaking out about what just happened and come back to bed
Y/N: Ben we just…
BB: I know. Active, enthusiastic participant here BB: Don’t spiral about it. Just come back to bed BB: We can talk in the morning
Y/N: Did we just ruin everything?
BB: How is that not spiralling? BB: Get your lovely arse out of the bathroom and back in this bed, y/n, or istg I will spank it
Y/N: 😲🥵
BB: Oh I see. Hmm BB: Good to know 😜
5 hours later
GD: WHAT THE SERIOUS FUCK?!?!?!?! GD: THIS IS WHAT I WAKE UP TO?! GD: WHY DO YOU LIVE LIKE THIS?!? GD: CALL ME!!!!
2 hours later
EB: Why aren’t you at work today? Are you sick? EB: Did the Shein spider get you? 
1 hour later
EB: I guess it did  EB: Serves you right 😛
1 hour later
GD: WHY THE FUCK HAVEN’T YOU CALLED ME BACK YET? GD: I must have left like 10 missed calls by now
2 hours later
AB: Not to sound like a total dick, I know we’re family etc., but you are supposed to tell me if you’re taking a day off work Ben AB: Even nepo babies have some responsibilities
30 minutes later
KB: Why are Gen and El wondering where you are? KB: Text them, and also me now, too KB: I’m vaguely concerned but mostly nosey tbh
2 hours later
EB: ?????????
1 hour later
GD: Call me bitch.
2 hours later
CB: Where the fuck are you Ben?  CB: You never miss boys' night down The Ship normally?
30 mins later
Y/N: Uh hi 👋 Y/N: Sorry… Y/N: I uhh have been busy today
EB: Gen and I were ABOUT TO SEND OUT A SEARCH PARTY
Y/N: Please tell her I’m okay Y/N: I will call. Just not now
EB: Where are you?
Y/N: At home
EB: I am coming over!
Y/N: Please don’t
EB: Why not?
Y/N: Another time Y/N: I know I’m being all mysterious and shit Y/N: I will explain everything I promise
EB: Is Ben there?
Y/N: Yes
EB: Then tell him to look after you EB: I’m weirded out, you weirdo
Y/N: Oh he will  Y/N: I promise you he will Y/N: I errr won't be at work tomorrow either. Can you tell the boss?
EB: Are you sick?!
Y/N: Umm… yeah, let's go with that
EB: STOP BEING SO WEIRD
5 seconds later
BB: El, y/n is fine
EB: How is this any of your business?
BB: You literally asked for me to look after her 5 seconds ago
EB: How do you know that?! EB: Are you reading her texts?!
BB: She is showing them to me
EB: WHY!?! EB: What is this cloak and dagger shit?! EB: Did you fuck or something? Lol
1 minute later
EB: DID YOU?!?
1 minute later
EB: Y/N DID YOU FUCK MY BROTHER?!?
1 minute later
*EB added BB & Y/N to a new group*
EB: Answer me, you sneaky bitches
BB: We would appreciate some privacy at this time
10 seconds later
*EB added KB, AB, CB, PF, DB and SB to a new group*
EB: BEN AND Y/N ARE FUCKING
SB: Hello sister-in-law. Long time no chat. So lovely for us to catch up this way
EB: Don’t sass me Bassett
PF: Err okay. Why… why am I on this Bridgerton family chat?
EB: Bitch please, you are family. Well, you will be soon
PF: ??
*CB removed PF from the group*
AB: Subtle
DB: Super smooth
*EB added PF to the group*
EB: IS NO ONE GOING TO RESPOND TO THIS LIFE-ALTERING NEWS?
KB: I mean… we all knew it was going to happen
CB: Surprised he held out this long tbh
DB: He’s been in love with her since we were kids
EB: I thought he just fancied her a bit?!?!
AB: And they call ME the unobservant one?!
*PF left the group*
CB: Look what you did
*EB added PF to the group*
KB: Why did I marry into this family?
SB: I’ll take you for a drink sometime. You too Pen.
PF: ??
EB: You’re all useless.
2 days later
GD: *sings Where Do You Go by No Mercy tunelessly in your general direction*  GD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yt-KMPvgKPo 
Y/N: Awful but also bangin cheese choon for a Sunday evening ngl
GD: SHE LIVES!! GD: El seemed to think you have been having nonstop sex since Thursday. GD: She’s also not handling that idea very well—lots of tequila.
Y/N: Not enough songs only have about 7 lyrics anymore. I miss the 90s.
GD: Avoiding that statement, huh?
Y/N: I will not dignify it with a response
GD: So that’s a yes
Y/N: 👀
8 days later
BB: I hate having a job 😘
Y/N: Me too… 😘 Y/N: I’ll be naked when you get home if that's any consolation
BB: I’m leaving now
Y/N: It’s only 11am lol Y/N: Stay there. I will see you later. It will be worth the wait. 😉
BB: You have been. BB: And I don't just mean today 😘
Y/N: 🥹 😘
56 days later
AB: Is this email for real?
BB: Yes. Yes, it is
AB: Wow. OK then AB: Congratulations
BB: Thank you. I'm very happy
AB: We can tell, brother, we can tell 
1 hour later
*KB added Y/N, SB & PF to a new group*
KB: Y/N, we meet every Wednesday for drinks. 
SB: Welcome to the fam, soon-to-be Mrs Bridgerton. It sucks; you are going to love it.
PF: Still not sure why I'm invited, but god, you guys are so much bloody fun I don't even care, lol.
10 seconds later
Y/N: Are you going to tell Pen, or should I?
KB: Naaahhh. It's more fun this way KB: Another very smart woman with a complete Bridgerton brother blindspot
Y/N: That sounds pointed
KB: You and me both, sister. You and me both.
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Benedict taglist pt1: @makaylan @longingintheuniverse @iboopedyournose @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @kmc1989 @ferns-fics @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @hanji-emo-blog @sya-skies @urfavnoirette
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tenisperfection · 3 days ago
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I have seen people say Buck won’t date another man and not say bye to bi-Buck and that he will likely only date women from now on? But he’s still going to be bi
I wanted to wait to answer this after things have cooled off a little but I don’t want to keep talking or thinking about this. But yeah, Buck is a bisexual character. He’s bisexual if he gets together with Eddie or gets back together with Tommy or sleeps around with people of different genders, and he’s bisexual if he ends up with a woman. Being bisexual is not a card that gets taken away when you date someone who fits into the traditional definition of the opposite sex. I also don’t think it’s bad bisexual representation to show a character sleeping around, but it comes down to intent in some ways. If that’s the character’s only MO, sure, I can see how that might be construed as stereotypical bi rep. But Buck is one of, if not the most layered and fleshed out character on this show so I’m unsure what the perceived risk of that might be.
Before I go there though, I’ll say that I don’t think there’s anything biphobic about what Oliver said. You all know that I love the way Buck’s arc has progressed. As a bisexual person who also realized my sexuality well into adulthood, I will always be so grateful for his storyline in season 7 and the incredible care and enthusiasm Oliver’s taken when talking about his character’s trajectory.
I also love Bucktommy. I get being upset about the way the story went, because I am. We can have differences of opinion there. But I don’t think Oliver saying he wants Buck to fuck around with men and women was insulting in any way to the relationship his character was part of or any future relationship he might or might not be in. I also don’t think Oliver was insinuating that his character’s first relationship with a man after he realized he’s bi can’t be long term. Obviously there is no right or wrong way to be bisexual because there is no inherent morality in your sexuality. But in this case, it turned out that it isn’t long term. That sucks (for me personally), but it still isn’t a biphobic choice. We did lose a canon queer couple, but this show is so rich in terms of representation of queer characters and that doesn’t change. Losing this one couple you might have loved sucks, but losing them the way we did was not biphobic. There were choices in the episode I didn’t like as I’ve said, and there are choices that made me squirm a little, but none of them were because I thought they were being bigoted.
Now, getting back to intent, I think there’s a bigger conversation to be had about how a “Buck sleeps around” storyline would enhance his character, but Oliver mentioned how they could do it differently from what we’ve seen in previous seasons. Now, I do not particularly trust Ryan Murphy with bisexual characters and who knows how involved he’ll be with a potential storyline like that, but regardless, they could do that and we can talk about how that could add to Buck’s character. Like so many things on tv, it could be great, it could be bad, it could be just fine. What it isn’t though, is biphobic. I refuse to cater to this notion that a bisexual character sleeping around for a bit after a monogamous relationship is somehow inherently biphobic or insulting. That’s just me. We can see where they go with this, but Evan Buckley is a bisexual character and he will be that no matter where or with whom his character ends up with on the show.
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tswwwit · 4 months ago
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Bless that trophy wife anon because they’re right. There’s no way mindscape citizens see whatever dipper does in the real world as a real career and he has no job in bill’s realm either, whether he likes it or not he’s entwined with bill’s world and his people and he can’t blame them for thinking his job is being bill’s husband.
That’s what pisses him off, the fact that they’re right.
No matter how Dipper protests that yes, he DOES have a job, the beings in the Fearamid don't believe it's 'real', or worse - humor him, then give Knowing Looks to the other demons in the room.
Meanwhile, Bill knows it's real - but sometimes he plays along like it isn't just to piss Dipper off.
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staryflowers · 6 months ago
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Killing all the songs titled "Never Been in Love" that are about being in love with a ROCK
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ladiesandwitches · 2 days ago
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"Strength is surviving the hand that you're dealt," Lilia told him. "None of us really have a choice in what happens to us, but we do have a choice in how we react to it." She looked at him with warm approval. "You did good, kid."
And certainly better than a lot of other people if they were put in the same situation.
"I saw the accident," Lilia began. "The Hex. I saw you lost and confused, trying to find yourself, filled with uncertainty." And too young to deal with such challenges, such confusion. He was a child, both Billy and William, and yet they'd been forced to live, and die, through this, to have more than any ordinary person would be able to handle. "If you still want to have your reading, to answer your question, we could do it. Or not," she added, not wanting him to feel pressured into something he might not wish to do. "It's your choice."
Well, at least he looked back to his normal self now, she thought, noting his jeans, the familiar sweater. A lot easier to go home than in a cloak and witch crown anyway, even if his parents might wonder where he'd been.
As if the mere thought prompted the vision, Lilia suddenly saw his parents, William's parents, worried, calling friends, asking if they'd seen him.
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They're worried about him. But this is going to be the smallest of their worries. I know what he's going to do, who he's looking for, and it could become so much worse. He needs to be careful, so much could go wrong.
"You're new to your power," she said aloud. "As much as it's a pain to accept, control and skill, it comes with practice, and practice--" Lilia gave a small scoff of resigned frustration. "It takes time."
"I guess I just think strength is something you can choose. I wasn't choosing," Billy shook that off, collapsing backwards in the seat.
Those days had been terrifying. All the paramedics and nurses demanding he answer their questions, just ramming home the fact that he couldn't. Telling him who his parents were, that he had to go and live with them. Those parents crying on the inside, and he couldn't shut it out.
"What did you see about me," Billy asked quietly. He wasn't sure he wanted to know, and yet an outside perspective could give so many clue. He tilted his head. "You mean, my query from the Trial?"
He nodded, moving to sit on his hands, jeans digging against his knuckles. "I know. If I can just figure out when I'm using it, that'll be huge."
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burning-academia-if · 1 year ago
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Hey, I just remembered something!
I think you said ???'s romance is not possible on the Day path? I'm not interested in them (well, that way, I mean) anyway, so it won't be an issue to me romance wise, but is it actually possible to have a good or at least decent relationship with them on the Day path, or not even that? And well, that applies to any RO if the MC is on a path incompatible with their romance I guess (though I don't remember if others were in that case).
Of course, feel free to ignore this one if it's too spoilery to answer though!
On a (I think) less spoilery note about the paths and ROs, will the paths impact how the possible romances pan out? Or not so much? Or will it depend on the character?
Anyway, thank you for entertaining my multiple questions on that matter. It seems it's endlessly fascinating to me!
Yep! So basically you can "romance" ??? on Day path but it's more a doomed romance/tragedy then an actual romance. The only other character this happens with is Rhea on Night path. I think I mentioned before but this is more a 'theme-driven' story then anything else and the characters represent the exact opposite themes of those paths, essentially. (Also again, I'm not promising anything in regards to poly routes, but on the off-chance I do, they'll be path specific for this very reason. Beck x MC x Rook would be locked to Dawn and Day for example). ALSO quick edit forgot to mention, but even outside of romance, it will still play out like a tragedy if you have a high friendship stat with them.
As for the paths, they will play like completely separate routes/story lines that splinter off after a certain point. Basically, you'll hit a key plot point and whatever your path is set on at that point locks you into that arc. Because the plot/events will be unique to each path (save for a few key ones), the romances for each path will play out differently as well! Romancing say ??? in the Dawn Arc vs the Night Arc is a completely different experience for example, it also lets me (and the player) explore different faucets of their personality.
Most of the details I'm still figuring out and I know a lot of what I have written down may change, but everything stated above is officially set!
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batsinurbelfrey · 8 months ago
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cruelsister-moved2 · 1 year ago
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that thread i rbed like ages ago about men's urge to disagree/object to/obstruct women for no reason has seriously reset my brain its so crazy but i think actually one of the rare things that actually might represent a way forward for how men engage with women. like there's always going to be the rightwing ardent misogynists who don't care that they're doing this but for all the men in the middle that do on some level want to be better it represents 1. fairly confronting evidence that your position in the patriarchy actually affects how you relate to women much more than you realise it does even if you think of yourself as self-aware and 2. a genuine example of something that makes us all suffer because the fact you niggle on every single issue like what flavour of ice cream to buy is unhealthy for relationships (of any kind) AND introduces unnecessary amount of background strain to your life for no real gain. maybe im being an idealist but i love the idea of a man experiencing a certain amount of horror upon recognition of this as a catalyst to other more meaningful recognitions and changes both in how he evaluates the competence of women but also in recognition of the subjectivity of he perceives things i.e i think one of the biggest barriers to confronting the housework gap is often that men don't SEE how much women are doing and also don't SEE things that need to be done, to the extent that ive seen men argue that the solution is just for women to not care about being surrounded by mess. anyway no conclusion but i cant stop thinking about that thread both super horrifyingand also kind of hopeful
#i absolutely think it applies to other forms of marginalisation as well#but can take different forms e.g a man assuming he will make better choices than his wife even about something really minor and stupid#vs an abled person assuming they have more insight on a disabled persons' experienes/condition#but i think its the same fundamental urge going on#but yeah like personally i find disagreeing with ppl really unpleasant when it builds up that its like you need to pick your battles for#when it matters. of course you can go to far and avoid conflict but like as a perfectionist autist i have to constantly address my tendency#to like. get annoyed about someone pouring milk wrong or something. like even when they are actually wrong. sometimes it doesnt matter.#and i think the fact that this is how you treat people you LOVE and in many cases would probably say you respect#should make it liek especially wounding to realise#i also dont think women are immune to this behaviour as i said above and after all we pick up communication habits from the people we#communicate with. but i think it stems from patriarchy in pretty much all its iterations#and theres also an answering affect women can develop where you just shut down and learn to give in on every issue/devote your energy to#avoidit coming up in the first place#like you stop saying what flavour of ice cream you want at all. which i think is the end goal of this behaviour whether thats actually what#the person doing it desires or not thats what it seeks to achieve
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alastors-wife · 10 months ago
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Why do so many "doms" just do shit like choke or degrade you without bothering to give any warning or ask first
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curryshesus · 5 months ago
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jeon jungkook fics that own my mind, body, heart, and soul
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in other words, this is a collection of my favorite jk fics on tumblr! if you enjoyed any of these fics as much as i did, pls remember to support the authors by interacting with their post. part 2 | other bts members
➺ bitchin - by @kinktae
summary: the 80s were a time of choices. which perm was right for you? what color neon would you wear next? none of these choices, however, were more questionable than a certain deal you made with jeon jungkook.
➺ idealizations concerning real life relations - by @venusiangguk
summary: jungkook loves to be loved, but he doesn’t love in return.
➺ hotter than hell - by @chateautae
summary: jungkook, lucifer and king of hell, has been cast out of the crimson underworld for a reason he’s unsure of. embarking on his journey for the answer should’ve been easy, if it weren’t for you, the human that nurses his wounded body in her home, and accidentally witnesses the truth of his identity. kickstarting a hellish adventure with the devil himself, you discover lucifer is the most infuriating company ever; and jungkook finds out that maybe his answer to returning home lies within his annoying human confidant.
➺ jump then fall (into you) - by @writtenwhalien
summary: bringing Jungkook along as your date to your ex’s lavish cruise wedding seemed like a perfect idea at first — all of your family and close friends together, nothing can go wrong… then Jungkook’s ex shows up and all of a sudden you’re in a years long relationship with him. You don’t mind though, really, how hard can sharing a cabin and pretending to be deeply in love with your best friend really be?
➺ too late to dream - by @kookslastbutton
summary: You did it. You married your college professor. You even bought a house together. Against all odds, everything had fallen into place. But after two years of marriage, you begin feeling something was missing. You want a baby but your husband can’t say the same.
➺ the forgotten spaces- by @oddinary4bts
summary: you've been dancing on the same dance crew since your teenage years, and you finally have an important role in it. It feels like life is taunting you when your rival comes back after disappearing for a year, ready to tease you every chance he gets. Will the teasing turn into more, or are you going to take him down with you?
➺ when the end comes - by @oddinary4bts
summary: Seven years after you've started dating Jungkook, long distance creates a wedge in your relationship. When the only solution seems to be breaking up, you go your separate ways even though love still lives in the two of you. Will you find a way back together, or has the end come for you and Jeon Jungkook? **sequel to the forgotten spaces
➺ falling - by @starshapedkookie
summary: soulmate (noun): a person who is bound to another through the strongest level of emotional and physical connection. one is given a name on the body upon 18 years of age and any transgressions against the laws of soul-bonding will not occur without harm.
➺ love alive - by @jamaisjoons
summary: a year after you and jungkook break up, the two of you meet at your brother’s party.
➺ changes in between - by @taegularities
summary: Becoming the roommate of Jeon Jungkook is the biggest change you’ve ever gotten thrown into - but little do you know that the addition of another man will bring even further turbulence into your (love) life.
➺ falling skies - by @fortunexkookie
summary: Jeon Jiyeon was your childhood best friend; her brother, Jungkook, was something else entirely. You used to be friends, but then he had gone from endearingly frustrating dumb boy to card-carrying fuckboy so fast it had given you whiplash.
Despite the teasing and fighting, Jiyeon realized how Jungkook felt about you long before he did - it was a twin thing - and if you were her sun, and he was her moon, then she just wished she could show you how he reflected your light.
➺ sugarplum elegy - by @bymoonchild
summary: You know no bounds nor depth with Jungkook. While your fuck buddy loves sleeping in your bed and doing laundry for you with his favourite fabric softener, you are in love with a mysterious honeyed, velvety voice on Soundcloud. All’s fine, until you find out that the voice that metaphors your heart to a sweet sugarplum melody actually belongs to the boy who has been taking up a special spot in your bed and in your heart, strumming at your heartstrings all this while. Or, Jungkook has one braincell, but it’s heart-shaped.
➺ an abundance of mondays - by @diortae
summary: "why the fuck would it be easy? you’re disgustingly in love with your best friend. of course it’s complicated.” he pauses to roll his eyes, as if he hasn’t just laid out the most secret parts of you here in the middle of the campus dining hall.
➺ five dates - by @kpopfanfictrash
summary: “Ten dates,” he nods, smile tugging at his lips. “Ten dates, to decide if you want this – want me – or want me to go. Ten dates to get to know me. Ten dates,” he says, oddly soft, “to fall in love with me.” Which then becomes five.
➺ here comes the bride, all dressed in pride - by @hansolmates
summary: You and your cousin Doyeon have had beef with each other since the sandbox. When she plucks the last straw, you decide to end your long-simmering fight by claiming that you and her ex—Jeon Jungkook, are now boyfriend and girlfriend
➺ if i told you - by @gukyi
summary: in order to pay for university, jeon jungkook decides to market his most valuable asset to the wealthy socialites of campus: himself. donning a suit and tie, tousled hair, and glasses (to look smarter), he becomes every rich daughter’s dream: the perfect boyfriend to bring to balls, dinners, and business gatherings. all while you watch from the sidelines, only able to dream of having that much money to buy yourself what you really want: him.
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tealfruit · 1 year ago
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gender isn't a choice for many people. there do exist people who made the choice to be a different gender. in fact I would say the very act of choosing a specific label to describe your gender is you choosing how to describe yourself, even if you didn't choose what you are describing. can we stop pretending that there's only 1 way to gender
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lymtw · 6 months ago
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Thinking of an argument with Toji that leaves you mute by choice towards him. He still talks to you and asks you questions, and while you don't turn away from him, you don't respond to him either. He ends up having to figure out whatever he needs on his own because after a minute or so you huff and walk away from the conversation.
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"Mama," he calls from the bedroom, rummaging through his clothing drawers. "Have you seen my gym shorts?"
If he was able to get a word out of you, he would know that you washed them for him. Though you were still sizzling with anger towards him, you pulled them out of the dryer and walked them over to the room. He could hear your little footsteps as you approached the room, and when he turned to look at you, he noticed you were holding his shorts in your hand.
Your eyes were vacant towards him. You didn't want them to be because it sucks when you can't look at him with the endless amount of love you have in store for him. It's still there, but it's being masked by a poker face.
You toss the shorts onto the bed and leave. Toji sighs, irked by the fact that it's actually starting to sting now. Your disregard for him because you're ruled by your emotions and he lets things go too easily because he can't hold a grudge towards you, even if he feels you're in the wrong.
Toji never knew how much he depended on your voice until you wouldn't let him hear it. He depends on you to tell him where things are because without you they would be scattered all over the place. He doesn't know your method of organization, but somehow when he needs something and looks to you in order to find it, you pull it out from right under his nose. He depends on you to tell him he's doing a good job, and to tell him you love him, and just reassure him in general. It makes him feel good to know that someone thinks he's good enough, but recently the one person who feeds him affection like it's as important as food and water, has left him to starve. You haven't said a word to him in almost two days, and he feels like he's starting to go crazy. The sound of his own voice is driving him insane. It's gotten so bad that he had to make a mental note of how he's going to get you back that same night.
Toji leaves for the gym and texts you during his time there. He includes some images because it's now an unspoken rule that he always has to send you gym pics.
[ Attachment: 3 Images]
... 😳🤐
Yeah, I know you like those. I'll be home soon.
You take the time to doll yourself up while he's still out. It's for him, but you won't tell him that until you come back from your "night out". Really, you're just gonna go get dinner for both of you from his favorite little restaurant. You just want to see how far he's willing to let this go, because you're caving. You're ready to apologize even when you know he's not upset at all. You're ready to spoil him in order to make up for those severe feelings you held towards him. You're ready to hear about how stubborn and unbelievable you are for this little act you pulled.
You spray on some perfume and walk out of the bathroom, just in time to catch Toji walking through the door.
"Woof, where're you going, ma?" He asks, setting down his gym bag before absorbing everything you were gracing him with. His eyes flit up and down your body, lingering on the very bare skin of the legs that come out from under your skirt. He can smell your perfume from where he stands, its elegant scent masking even the smell of his own potent sweat.
You didn't answer his question, and left him to wonder why you're all dressed up at seven o'clock at night. Was it a girl's night or were you openly showing him that you have options? Did he miss a message or a call from you?
You grabbed your wallet and scooted past him. You walked halfway down the corridor of your apartment building before realizing that maybe this was a bit much. You would make him worry over you going on a five minute walk to grab some food? All so you can show him you're mad? You cracked.
🥟🥡🍜.
Toji was staring at his screen, waiting for anything from you. The screen flashes like some sort of miracle and your message is seen by him. He chuckles, feeling a sense of relief wash over him at the sight of your little emoticons.
You came back home as fast as possible, bags of food in hand as you patiently waited for the elevator to bring you up to your floor. You took your time walking through the corridor, this time, not knowing how you would react once you saw Toji or if you would immediately say something to him. You're ready to talk to him, you want to talk to him. You miss him, you love him, and you hate the passiveness you threw yourself into around him as an act of retaliation.
There you were, standing in front of the door, nervous beyond belief for what was behind it. You collected yourself and twisted the doorknob, ready to face anything that came to you.
Toji stood from the couch and walked over to you to take the bags from your hands. The smell of his body wash wafted into your nose. There was an imaginary white flag hanging out of your pocket, and it was about to fall out to signal your surrender to Toji.
He pecks your cheek and watches in real time as color floods into your face. It's one of the most adorable things he's ever seen—you standing there so rigidly afterwards. He gives you a soft smile and resists the urge to coo at you for being so cute. Instead, he heads to the table to put the bags of food down.
You shut the door, and within a split second, Toji was in front of you again. "Ma," he says, sounding a little more desperate than he thought he would. "Say something." You stand there like a statue—unmoving, but unlike a statue, you are easily moveable. Especially, by Toji. "Anything, mama, please." He crouches down at your feet, his warm hands resting on the backs of your knees and his cheek resting on one of your thighs. This position made it look like you were being worshipped by him, and anyone who ever saw him do this would know that it was true, because he worshipped everything about you. From the top of your head, to the ground your feet stood on.
"Don't you miss having my hands on you?" They glide up and down the backs of your thighs. He looks up at your stunned expression. You won't look down at him, so he gets to see the way you swallow the words dying to leave your mouth, and the slight widening of your eyes as he lets his hands roam your lower body. "I know I do. I've been in hell these past couple days." He presses a soft kiss to your knee, then one more on your thigh. "I didn't mean what I said. I don't think you're selfish, baby. Maybe i'm just a greedy asshole," he says, rekindling the subject of what led to your silence towards him. His hand maneuvers around your leg so that his palm is on your thigh, making its way up towards the inner part of it. "But, I know something," his lips trail further up your thigh, softly kissing your skin. "I'm greedy about you. That can't and won't be changed, even when we argue like idiots."
You put your hand on his head as he starts kissing up your inner thighs, making his way even further up beneath your skirt.
"Come on, my sweet girl," he murmurs, his lips meeting the front of your underwear. "Tell me you want me to stop. Tell me you hate that my filthy paws are on you, right now."
Your legs tremble at the lightness of his touch, and you internally cringe at how sensitive you've always been for him.
"Toji..." you gasp. You feel his warm tongue flatten between your legs, a slow upwards drag of the muscle makes your thighs quiver before him. You whimper at the damp warmth his saliva leaves on your panties. "Fuck..." you moan, breathily. "Don't stop. Stay there, please."
The first word you reintroduced yourself with being a moaned out rendition of his name was heaven reaching down to pat him on the back for knowing exactly what to do to get you to talk again.
"Open wider for me, baby. Let me see," Toji says, your skirt still veiled over his head. You take a step back so that your back is against the door and widen your stance a little more. He hooks one of your legs over his shoulder and you shudder when his tongue returns to slide through your clothed folds. He doesn't even need to produce that much saliva to drench the fabric of your underwear because you've done that for him already with your leaking arousal.
You shut your eyes and rest your head against the door as Toji continues his act of filth between your thighs. You can hear him panting below you, your taste pleasantly coating his tongue every time he sucks on the garment that clings to you.
You cry out his name with sharp breaths following, your fingers tangling into his locks, gripping and tugging as his lips catch onto your cunt. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," you grit out, whimpering at the contrast between his mouth and his hands. His hands offer a gentle massage to your thighs, softly kneading the plush between his fingers. His mouth moves purposefully because he knows exactly what it takes to make you fall apart with it. He coats his tongue with your essence every time he laps at the wet patch on your underwear, sticky webs of arousal connecting him to you.
"T-Toji!" You squeal, your cunt throbbing with every brush of his tongue. "I'm gonna cum... Fuck, i'm gonna cum..." you whine.
Toji pushes your underwear to the side, and glides his tongue through your generously slicked folds once and you're instantly arching your back off the door, squirming in his hold and moaning carelessly as he sloppily makes out with your cunt. He desperately chases the sound of your pleasure-ridden voice, wanting to hear the way it raises in pitch when he strokes you just right. He doesn't want it to stop, it's been too long. Two days way too long. You tug at his hair with one hand, dragging the nails of your other hand down the door. You breathe heavily as Toji manipulates your pleasure until your thighs are trembling.
Toji pulls away and lifts your skirt off his head. He lowers your leg back down and stands up from his crouched position. He faces you with glossy lips that shine with all the juices he collected from you, some of it drooling down his chin to give him an even more messy appearance. He presses his lips to yours, making slow movements to allow you to realize what is happening while your eyes are closed. You can taste yourself on his lips as you catch the rhythm.
There's a loud smack in the last kiss before he releases you, a feral look in his green eyes as he dotes on your blissed out appearance. You look too pure for someone who's just experienced something so sinful. "Hey, look at me," he coos, cupping your cheeks in his hands. "Look at me," he repeats, staring at you as you try to catch your breath with closed eyes.
You hum, rolling your eyes open to lazily stare back at him. Your eyelids felt so heavy as you looked at him, but you liked how vigilant he was being. It made you crack a grin, a small gesture that had Toji's heart thudding a little quicker, now.
"I wanna fuck you so bad, mama." His eyes trail yours as they look away from his gaze. "If this is your reaction to my mouth, I don't even know what to expect for when I'm inside you."
You look down to see what's been poking your thigh for the past minute or so, and it's the monster in his pants, outlined for your eyes to quickly spot and everything.
"Come on," you say, reaching your hand out to him. He takes it and allows you to lead him to the bedroom.
Toji shuts the door and locks it to give the situation a deeper level of intimacy. There's no one there but the two of you and yet you feel even more secluded by the gesture.
He wasn't aggressive in the way he bared you for his eyes. He pulled you close to him by the waist, your body against his as he peeled your layers of clothes off.
"Stay," he says, when you take a step back. He takes that step towards you again, placing his hands on your hips, and snaking them around to your back to locate the zipper for your skirt. He exhales through his nose, lidded eyes watching the longing expression on your face closely as he pulls down the zipper and allows the article to fall on the floor. His fingers fiddle with the hem of your shirt before he fully slides his hands beneath it, and raises it up your torso higher and higher. You put your arms up and allow him to slip it off your head.
He makes haste of getting his own clothes off, a sly smirk decorating his face when he sees you admiring him from where you sit on the end of the bed as you take off your bra and underwear. You're forced further up the bed by Toji as he inches closer and closer to you. You reach a dead end and welcome the suffocating warmth of his body as he cages you onto the bed.
"Don't do that to me again, mama," he murmurs, before leaning down to peck your lips. "Don't let me talk to myself for that long when you have such a pretty voice to respond with."
You laugh, pulling a small grin from him. "I didn't think you'd care, to be honest. I thought you'd tell me i'm being childish or ridiculous."
"Nah, princess. I thought I was gonna die."
You giggle, pulling him close again. "You're exaggerating."
"You wouldn't let me touch you. Not even when we went to bed, so it was like we were friends instead of lovers sleeping together. Especially with how far on your side you slept."
"Oh, baby," you coo, pressing multiple quick apologetic kisses to his lips. He chuckles at the affection, and his eyes close instinctively as your kisses become more widespread on his face. He missed this more than anything. "What can I do for your forgiveness, my love?"
"Just let me fuck you, ma. That's all. Give me my privilege to all of this, again." His hand slowly trails from your chest to your stomach, a touch you longed for dearly during those two days that you verbally ignored him.
"It's yours," you whisper to him. You peer up at him with your constellation eyes, silently begging him to realize how much you need him. "I'm yours, so show me the use you have for the privilege over my body, baby."
He leans down to kiss you, softly. He's desperate for you, but his lips don't falter their delicate synchrony because of it. He guides the tip of his cock through your folds, rubbing up and down the slickness a couple times before slowly sinking into you. Your ability to tangle with Toji's lips slowly deteriorates, and your focus strays to the stretching happening lower down your body, so Toji picks up the slack and feeds you his kisses.
"Come on," he groans out. Not even he is immune to the rebirth of sex with you. You're warm and inviting, and you embrace the pain and comfort he offers every time he craves you or you crave him. This time is no exception. "Kiss me back, sweetheart. Give them all to me," he mutters, before attempting to connect his lips to yours again. You dig your heels into the mattress and your toes curl as you feel his girth continue to submerge inside you.
Toji cups your chin and uses his fingers to squish your cheeks together into a makeshift pout for him to kiss. He can hear your hummed little whimpers in response to him sheathing himself further into you. He was being gentle, because hurting you is a crime in his world.
"Fuck, I missed this, mama," he says, goosebumps rising on his torso as he drags himself out of you halfway and pushes himself back in again. "So warm..." he says over the sound of your pleasured moan. He sighs, a grunt following as he starts a careful rocking rhythm into you. "I could stay inside you forever."
"I could keep you here forever," you rephrase, gazing up at him with those eyes he unequivocally loves. They've reverted back to the default loving expression you hold for him, the vacancy of your previous gaze now filled with love, excitement, lust, and overall enchantment. It's a beautiful thing to see your hurricanes subside.
He leans down to kiss you again, distributing the kisses on your face and leading them towards your neck. You could feel his abs dragging up and down your stomach with every roll of his hips against yours.
"Mmm... Toji," you moan, bringing your hands to his back. One of them moves up to the nape of his neck, threading through the dampened locks of his hair, the other traces his spine to distract you from how badly you want to dig your nails into him.
"I know," he coos, kissing the spot beneath your ear. "I know, doll. It's always this good with you."
You gasp at the feeling of his cock prodding the more sensitive area within you. "Right there, right there... Oh..." you moan out, inevitably digging your nails into his shoulder blades while Toji directs his kisses back up your neck and towards your face again so he can see the honest expression on it. You're lost in pleasure, vibrating as another orgasm rushes through you.
"Fuck, mama.. let me-" he groans, outwardly losing it at the overflow of your juices. "Let me see those pretty eyes," he pants, gripping your waist a little more harshly as he feels his cock on the brink of expelling into you. "Need you to watch me," he says, taking in the way your lips part to release your sounds of utter satisfaction. Your eyes flutter open to center on his greedy eyes. You mirror his lustful, lidded gaze, the look enough to make him spill inside you, making your cunt even sloppier. "You're gorgeous, ma," he says, mindlessly, as he fucks into you with a little more fervor. "Fucking stunning," he mutters through pants, to which you respond with a sly smirk. The gesture lured a groan out of him and made his cock twitch as he finished releasing into you.
You giggle when he stills his hips. Your combined attempts to regulate your breathing fills the silence that follows. "What're you laughing at?" He asks, massaging your hip with his thumb.
"You tell me that all the time like you're obsessed with me or something."
"And if I am?" he says with a voice so deep you have to blink to see that it's still your gentle giant of a man. "Is it too much for you? Can you handle it? Am I suffocating you, baby?" he purrs, cupping your cheeks while leaning in close to emphasize his points. All it does is allow you to closely admire how handsome he is and really think about what's happening in this moment. This green-eyed, raven-haired man, with the prettiest pointed nose and the most attractive scarred lips, is bedding you, and doing it so well.
"Never. Come closer and bite," you murmur.
He takes your lips in his again, a little more aggressive than before. You asked him to bite, and that's exactly what he's doing. The make out has him rocking both of you a little faster, working you towards yet another orgasm. You nip at his bottom lip and run your tongue over it when hisses. You hum out a little giggle, and moan into his mouth when he jolts into you.
"God, i'll bust again if you keep doing that. I'm serious, mama" he groans, swiping his tongue over his stinging bottom lip. You think he's being dramatic so when he leans down to kiss you again, you bite his bottom lip and suck on it. You gasp, releasing his lip and stare at him with wide eyes as his excessive warmth spurts into your cunt, filling it to the brim and beyond, to the point of leakage.
"F-Fuck... you're terrible," he groans, shuddering with tense abdominal muscles as he lures the entirety of his orgasm out. "Cum," he says, panting as he picks up the pace of his rutting to get you to follow his orgasm. "I can feel you clenching around me like hell. I know you want to," he says, reaching a hand between you and him to stimulate your clit.
Your already labored breathing picks up and your heart is pounding in your ears aggressively as you roll your hips back against his. You whimper as you feel your peak get closer and closer, a cried out and breathy "fuck!" leaving you when it arrives, followed by high pitched moans that make Toji's heart race. You arched your back off the mattress as you reached the zenith of your orgasm with the help of Toji's finger rapidly rubbing your clit while he maintained his satisfying pace inside you.
You whimper, slapping a hand onto Toji's wrist to stop his movements on you. He smirks at the sight of your trembling thighs, your heaving chest, and the sound of your dazed hums. You always were such a delicate thing. So fragile that even with just enough of his attention, he could break you.
"Tired yet?" He asks, admiring your relaxed facial features. You nod with your eyes closed, your lips parted to release little puffs of air. "Thought you'd be. I'll go grab some towels for us to shower." He pulls out of you, taking a moment to admire your collaborative masterpiece.
"Baby..." you whine, sitting up when you feel his weight lift off the bed. "I can't get up." You dramatically let yourself fall back on the bed and stick your tongue out to portray your exhaustion.
"Get up, you faker. That's all you have to do and i'll take care of the rest."
"Too tired to wash myself right now..." you say, waking up for a second before closing your eyes again. Toji can see the sly grin on your face and the little shake of your stomach as you stifle your giggles.
"Guess you're too tired to eat, too, huh? You know i've got a huge appetite, and I could eat all that food you brought by myself."
"You wouldn't," you say, abruptly sitting up on the bed and squinting at him. "There's enough to feed three people in those bags."
"I've got the stomach of three people in one, so you better catch up before you're left with my seconds."
You sigh, too tired to move, but you get up anyway and trail behind Toji. "Baby, can you pleeease clean me up? I'm beat."
He puts his hands on your shoulders as he now walks behind you. "Sure, but don't complain when I take longer on certain areas."
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mondaymelon · 8 months ago
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₊⊹ "𝐧𝐨𝐨𝐨, 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝…" | xiao, childe, alhaitham x gn!reader
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「 "𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐚𝐚𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮!!"」
— in which you've gotten drunk... drunk enough to fail to recognize your own lover.
— silly fluff. soft xiao, had this one in the drafts for far too long and its about time i choke it out... happy white day !!
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the moment your slurred words reached his ears, XIAO knew that he never should've let you get your hands on that cursed rice wine.
in a way, he supposed it could be his fault. the one time he had decided to indulge in trivial mortal matters like alcohol due to your constant insistence... well, just look at you.
red-faced, the tips of your ears and cheeks stuck in a helplessly drunken flush, you babbled incoherently with half of your face smushed against the table. xiao could only stare in contempt as you feebly reached towards the already-emptied bottle,
( xiao had taken one sip and refused any more indulgence, claiming it was bitter, when in fact, you had gone out of your way to find a sweeter drink ),
and sigh, massaging the bridge of his nose with a certain disillusionment.
"come on, you're getting to bed." the man was just about done with your hopeless actions. he grabbed your wrist and tugged, only to be met with resistance. you're pouting like a child, brows furrowed lazily as you stare upwards at him.
"nnno. m'not going with you."
"...excuse me?" what in the archons was the problem now? he tugged again, this time with a small margin of force, and was met with an even larger pull back, this time paired with a low whine. "hey, it's late, and all the wine is gone, so just comply with me won't you?"
"i already told you... i have a husband..."
your complaint met the cool night air and the adeptus' silence. his lips were slightly parted as his round eyes blinked once, then twice, in a sort of stunned stupor. "...love, i am that husband."
archons, how had he found himself such a foolish mortal to love?
"don't lie to me!" you shook your head profusely, wiggling around in his grasp relentlessly until the adeptus had no choice but to let go. "i know my husband when i see him... and he's way handsomer than you, stupid..." you stared him up and down with squinting eyes, eyeing the way his ears were beginning to turn pink, and sat heavily in thought as you pondered the man before you.
definitely not your husband.
idiot. with a huff, he easily hauled your body over his shoulder as if carrying something as trivial as a sack of potatoes. you hung loosely over, landing a couple weak punches on his back as you proceeded to prattle on, your defiance seemingly having little effect.
then, you were silent, and xiao had to look back to make sure you hadn't gotten hurt. sure, he had considered once or twice leaving you out there all passed out on the balcony, but not without reason, yet he'd decided against it. you seemed fine, mouth hung slightly ajar as you snoozed peacefully, your eyes shut and cheeks still warm from what you'd downed. the audacity to fall asleep... xiao couldn't deny that his sigh was one of fondness.
"night, this husband of yours loves you."
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strange, wasn't the wine from liyue supposedly far less intense compared to the vodka CHILDE had tried back home?
that, or the people here simply were more susceptible when it came to the topic of intoxication. you were no exception — he'd taken you out drinking, his mistake, thinking it'd be an easy, splendid time.
and don't get him wrong, it was! not just, well... conversation was rather hard to make when the other person was practically unconscious. you're practically splayed across the mahogany table, eyes nearly drooped close and fire across your cheeks.
you giggled. it's a muddled sound, when you're mostly mumbling into the table. "hhhey, pour me another glass~"
childe scans your less-than-ideal state and procures an answer in a little under a second. "love, you've had too many."
you seem shocked at his words, leaning forwards a little with narrowed eyes. your figure sways as you shake your head lazily, from side to side. "wwhhhat? nnno, that can't be right..."
the man holds back an amused chuckle. it's entertaining. "and how many fingers am i holding up?" he holds up just one hand, displaying a reasonable amount of three.
there's a beat of silence. "...nineteen?" you blink a couple times, as if to shake you out of your stupor. "...nineteen," this time, with confidence.
childe claps his hands together, a sudden sound that makes you startled, and he moves to apologize immediately. "we're getting you to bed, love. clearly you've had more alcohol than you can handle."
"what, was i wrong??" there's tears forming in your eyes, and your lips tug downwards in a frown. "u-uhm, fifteen? nno, four...?"
"still incorrect, love. i'm afraid it's time for you to go to sleep. you'll wake up with a hell of a hangover tomorrow morning, but..." he sighed, thinking back to his time in shneznaya, then made a mental note to prepare you a hangover drink in the morning. his hand found its familiar place in your hand, unnaturally warm with your skin rosy from the alcohol. he smiled, turning to glance at you, but ceased when he saw you on the ground, tears now falling from your eyes, quietly sobbing as you shook your head back and forth.
panic immediately sets in. what has he done wrong?? "love, what-"
"nnnno, don't call me that..." you squinted upwards at him, looking quite displeased. "no 'love', 'kaaay? i'm not your love, mister."
he paused. wait, you didn't possibly think that... "love-" oh, old habits died hard, and the word had already left his lips before he could process what you'd said.
"i have a husband, you!!" in some sort of fit, or perhaps better worded as a tantrum, you stood, wrenching yourself from his grip and then hitting him repeatedly in the shoulders, chest, anywhere your fists could reach, really. the alcohol had surely affected your capabilities of combat — you missed half the time, and what punches did land caused no pain at all.
as your anger subsided, your step faltered, body swaying in the open air before childe reached over to catch you in his arms. he was concerned, naturally. "lov- are you alright?" his worry only grew when he heard no response, but it ebbed with a chuckle when he saw you were already fast asleep in his arms, snoozing without a care in the world.
"a husband, hm? whoever it is, he must quite be the gentleman..."
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ALHAITHAM knew his night was fated to end in idiocy the moment you knocked on his door.
it didn't even strike him that you were holding wine, of all things, when you waltzed into his house like it was your own. sure, it wasn't as if these occasions weren't frequent, but really anyone would be surprised to glance up from a quiet reading session only to see their (annoying) lover pressed against the door, repeatedly calling out his name in a sing-song, satire-like voice.
like... calling a cat. it was a realization he made with not too much contentment. silently, he thanked the archons that kaveh was not home — they knew that he could not handle the both of you.
it was only when you sat down at his table, where he'd been reading up to the point when you barged in, that he noticed. green-tinted glass, a little wind motif on the front... dandelion wine from mondstadt. now, just how did you get your hands on that?
"connections," you had stated. with a note of pride, he might add. what, was he supposed to congratulate you on being able to talk to other people? even he, a person who generally hated people, could do that.
ah, but he didn't hate it. your voice, that is, when you rambled on for hours on end. he didn't have the heart to interrupt you, especially when you were so heated on a topic — be it work troubles, an especially annoying sailor, or you accidentally dropping your pita pocket into the water when walking along the port, he didn't mind.
"...mmbottle. haaithammm, the bottle..." your drunk complaints reach his ears, and he his irritation is more so disrupted with inward amusement as he watches you in the predicament you've landed yourself in.
"the bottle?" he questions, raising an eyebrow. his hands are crossed over his chest; he's clearly getting a ruse out of this. "just what would you need the bottle for, love?"
your eyebrows scrunch together. he can tell your brain is working at its max capacity. "...im. thirsty?"
"you've already drunk two thirds of this bottle." he holds said bottle high above your head, hopelessly far from your reach. "if you're so thirsty, drink water."
"i don wanna."
"..."
"just... one drop?"
"hah..." he pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing deeply, and places a hand on your shoulder. you barely react, and don't even glance at the sudden weight. "love, you're staying over. you're going to bed."
"bed...?" horror crosses your face, paired with evident irritation. "y...you, who do you think you are, to suggest such things!?" your face is bright red, and you're hugging yourself with one arm and pointing an accusing finger towards the male with the other. "i have a husband!!"
ah. "...what's his name?"
"and why do youuuu want to know?" you narrow your eyes suspiciously at him, but seem to come up with an answer to your own question, for you answer him anyhow. "haitham."
"do you love this 'haitham'?" alhaitham's enjoying himself. when he teases the sober you, all you do is retort back, but now... he can see your flustered expression on full display as you stammer out an answer.
"o-of course! a-and, if you wanted to know, he's waaaaay handsomer.. than ... you..."
just like that, you topple over and sink into the couch, knocked unconscious. a trace of a smile crosses alhaitham's lips as he looks at your sleeping form.
"fortunately for you, this 'haitham' you speak of loves you too."
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(a/n) bye i was gonna add kaveh to this one too but i realized oh fuck its white day i said id post a month ago what the fuck am i doing so i just like regurgitated this out and spat it onto your dashboard. ahodfjlds
tags (id paste the aesthetic thing but i cant find it so we're just gonna roll w this):
@manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu, @ @falors, @swivy123, @scara-is-my-wife, @lupicalbestwolf, @justyoureader,@fiannee, @aether-darling, @ceneid, @avensuersa, @solxima
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dog-girl-zezora · 1 year ago
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excuse me as i have an existential crisis
#personal#you KNEW this would happen. You Knew and we Knew and we still took the chance.#i know i knew but it doesnt make it anymore EASY than i THOUGHT ITS STILL. VERY DIFICULT#i have to be someone i have to choose a life i have to CHOOSE to be something. i have to WANT to do things i have to BE..#i never decided what to be... and here i am needing to be.... and i still am nothing#what am i. who am i. what do i want who am i wanting to be.#There is no answer handed to you. There is no higher being to make that choice. There is no one who will force you to do things.#And we know that.#... So what am i supposed to do then. I've been living a designated life for so long. There was always an end i wanted to reach.#But there is no Start to this. there is no START HERE designation this time. There is no one to force me. there is no hurry. there is just#me. and me. and me.#Is that so bad? Isnt it okay to just be You. You even if you are nobody. if you are nothing. if you feel empty.#Im scared to choose. what if i choose wrong. what if i regret the choices im going to make. why does it have to be in my hands.#why do i have to be responsible for me. i dont want to make that choice. i dont want to be the one to make any choices.#Time passes regardless. If you make no choices you will regret that no matter what.#Do anything. Relax. Cry. Feel this through. You have so many options but dont feel intimidated.#Everything will be okay. No matter what.#... I hope youre right about that. I hope something will work out.#You know it always does. You're lucky every single time after all.#... sigh.#where do i start?
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