#i want to stay by your side. YOU want me by your side! and YET......

[girl-lostconnection]

I just wanna say I love your fruit bat!reader and I just had to think about the boys further misunderstanding when reader maybe has a darker aesthetic, but reader doesn't get at all the connection cause like yeah black's just a neat colour, oh I guess vampires are cool. Wait me? *Mouthful of orange or something* me no fruits all the way? I don't know what you mean.

On one side it would be incredibly funny as misunderstanding but the devil is whispering in my ear so let’s walk the other way.

Imagine Reader freshly selected to join the team, nervous about meeting new people who they read EVERYTHING on, just to be ready.

And no one is hostile, right? They are friendly, almost too friendly, which grates on your nerves a little but you know, maybe you are thinking too much about it?

Works up until the first joke about the vampires, huge wolf operator (you find out later that his call sign is Ghost).

“Know why people don’t like workin’ with vampire bats?”, the question catches you off guard, your eyes snapping to the man’s eyes and you tilt your head to the side. You don’t know him yet, you aren’t sure how much of a reaction is allowed in this circumstance.

“‘Cause they are pain in the neck”, he announces, his brown eyes boring a hole into you, his tail wagging like he is waiting for you to start laughing.

You don’t. You stare right back at him, fingers flexing so the sharp points of your claws dig into your palm and you manage a smile that feels a little too forced.

Big wolf in front of you apparently sees it as well, because you can see the way his jaw flexes under the mask.

So for some reason he decides to give it another go. (Only months later you will find out that Simon was desperately scrambling for all the bat x vampire puns he remembered, thinking that the first one sounded a little too abrasive)

“What drink does bat order at the bar?”, he asks, his left ear giving in a small twitch that catches your eye. He sure is big for the wolf, most of their family you met in the past were tall and lean but this guy is built like a bloody tank.

“What?”, you ask, heart beating a little harder than you’d like it, anxiety coiling in your gut.

“A Bloody Mary”, wolf hums out, his ear giving in another twitch and corners of your mouth curl upwards. Cute.

Wolf’s tail starts to wag again, eyes satisfied as he walks off and you follow him to see your new space and unpack.

Isn’t so bad for the first meeting, right?

But in hindsight every interaction from then on felt…somehow forced. Recurring about blood and meat and fucking Halloween. Remarks about wearing too much black or the way Soap once chuckled at the silver chain with a beautiful red cross. Not a religious symbol but simply an accessory you liked.

It all was piling up so quickly you decided to just…stay on the outside. Maybe that would be better. Maybe they were trying to tell you that they didn’t want a bat and didn’t like bats.

That they didn’t like you.

It takes time to undo and the process is slow — you are a tough nut to crack, but they don’t try to crack you. Just…make amends, yeah?

Your relationship with Simon makes a cycle when he peels you oranges, eyes soft as you devour pieces of peaches.

“Do you know what’s a vegetarian vampire bat’s favourite fruit, luv?”, he hums out, placing a peeled orange in your bowl, something in his tone making you feel fuzzy.

“What is it?”, his tail is wagging and god the way he looks at you makes something tender in your chest ache, you mouth voluntarily falling open when he pushes a piece of peach in it, eyes crinkling.

“A neck-tarine”, Simon murmurs, his tail wagging harder when you laugh after a beat, juices from fruit dripping down your chin.

You shake your head at him in faux disbelief and he grins, popping a slice of orange in his mouth.

“Can do it all night”

You roll your eyes and instinctively smack his hand away when he tries to steal your bowl.

“That’s what I’m afraid of”

[carnalcrows]

SWEET AS SIN - THE SALESMAN

pairing: the salesman x ftm reader

synopsis: A humble baker’s life takes a dark turn when a mysterious customer becomes dangerously obsessed—until one night, he wakes up bound and trapped.

content warnings: 18+, dubcon (borderline noncon), reader has a vagina, gun play, squirting, drugging, kidnapping, dead dove do not eat.

word count: 1.0k

The first time you saw him, he was just another customer.

It had been a slow morning at your bakery, the scent of freshly baked bread filling the air as you wiped down the counter. The bell above the door jingled, and in walked a man in a crisp suit, his slicked-back hair perfectly in place. There was something oddly magnetic about him—the way he carried himself, the confidence in his steps, the way his piercing eyes scanned the shelves like he was hunting for something more than just bread.

“Morning,” you greeted, forcing yourself to break the silence. “What can I get you?”

He smiled—a sharp, calculated thing. “Something simple. A loaf, maybe.”

You nodded, wrapping up a warm loaf and placing it on the counter. He paid in cash, his fingers brushing against yours as he handed over the bills. His touch was cold, yet his grip lingered a second too long.

“Nice place you’ve got here,” he mused, glancing around as if memorizing every inch of the shop.

You shrugged. “Pays the bills.”

His eyes flickered back to you, something unreadable in them. “I’ll be seeing you again.”

It wasn’t a question.

And true to his word, he kept coming back.

Days turned into weeks, and the suited man became a regular.

He never gave his name. Never asked for anything specific. But each visit followed the same routine: a loaf of bread, a polite exchange, a lingering look that made your skin prickle with unease. He never overstayed his welcome, but his presence stayed with you long after he left.

There was something off about him. Something… unsettling.

And yet, you couldn’t deny the thrill that crept up your spine whenever he walked through your door.

One night, you closed up late. The streets were empty, the moon casting long shadows over the pavement as you locked the door behind you. You barely made it a few steps before a sharp prick stung your neck.

Your vision blurred. The world tilted.

And then—darkness.

When you woke up, the scent of flour and something metallic filled your nostrils. Your head throbbed, and as you tried to move, the unmistakable bite of rope burned against your wrists.

Panic shot through you. You were tied to a chair. The dim glow of candlelight flickered around the room, casting eerie shadows on the walls.

And then you saw him.

The salesman sat across from you, legs crossed, hands folded neatly in his lap. He was watching you, like a predator savoring the moment before the kill.

“Finally awake,” he murmured, tilting his head.

Your heart pounded. “What the fuck is this?”

He sighed, standing up and pacing toward you with slow, deliberate steps. “You must know by now. I’ve been watching you for weeks, admiring you… wanting you.”

Your breath hitched. The air was thick, suffocating.

“You kidnapped me.”

He hummed. “I prefer to think of it as… securing what’s mine.”

Your pulse roared in your ears as he stepped closer, his hand reaching out to tilt your chin up. His touch was almost gentle—almost.

“You belong with me,” he murmured. “You just don’t see it yet.”

Your lips parted to curse him, to fight back, but then—click.

The cold press of metal pressed against the side of your temple.

A gun.

Your entire body went rigid.

“Shh,” he whispered, his other hand sliding to your throat, his grip firm but not tight. “No need to be scared.”

Scared? You were terrified.

But there was something worse—something worse than the fear, something you hated yourself for. The way his breath ghosted over your lips. The way his fingers pressed into your skin, possessive, demanding. The way the heat between you was suffocating, intoxicating.

And then—he kissed you.

It was slow at first, teasing, testing, his lips moving against yours with a dangerous kind of patience. The gun stayed at your temple, a silent warning, a reminder that he controlled everything. You wanted to recoil, to push him away, but your traitorous body betrayed you.

The kiss grew hungrier, his grip tightening as he deepened it. His teeth scraped against your lower lip, drawing a gasp from you.

He chuckled, pulling back just enough to look into your eyes. “See? You fit so perfectly against me.”

Your breath was ragged, your mind a whirlwind of fear and something worse.

He roughly tugged down your pants and boxers, leaving your lower half exposed– making you shudder.

“Hm? What’s this?” he questions while his glance moves to your puffy cunt– leaking and gleaming with the dim light of the room. This certainly wasn’t something that he had expected.

Before you could answer– you took a sharp intake of breath. He had slid the gun from the side of your temple all the way to your pelvis– resting near the clit. Your heartbeat thundered in your ear drums, the fear and tension muddling up your brain.

He dragged the gun to your cunt at a painstakingly slow pace, before pushing the tip in. You moaned, your head falling back against the chair. God you hoped the gun wasn’t loaded.

Without waiting for you to take in a breath, the man pushed the gun almost all the way up your hole, making your thighs involuntarily cave inwards. He used his other hand to push your thighs back apart, as he watched with fascination as the dark metal worked its way in and out of your sopping wet cunt.

This was so, so, wrong– but then why did it feel so good?

The hand that was holding your thighs apart made its way to your clit– rubbing circles around the overstimulated bud. You writhed in the rope’s grasp– the pleasure being way too much

Soon– you felt your orgasm (whether you wanted it to happen or not), wash over you like a raging stream. You screamed as you practically squirted your release all over the man’s hand and his gun.

The man adjusted his posture before sliding the gun out of your cunt and pressing it back to your forehead, before bringing his other hand back to your face– pulling you in for another kiss.

“You’re mine now,” he murmured, trailing his lips down your jaw. “And I take care of what’s mine.”

The gun pressed just a little harder.

And deep down, you knew—there was no escaping him.

© carnalcrows on tumblr. Please do not steal my works as I spend time, and I take genuine effort to do them.

[itoshiabi]

Four Goals For You

Summary: Childhood friends turned first love—Sae Itoshi challenges you in the boldest way possible: "If I score a hat trick, you're going on a date with me."

💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

The VIP lounge buzzes with quiet energy, a mix of calm and anticipation hanging in the air. Below, the stadium lights cast a brilliant glow over the field as fans fill the seats, their excited chatter building into a steady hum. Inside, the team is focused on their final pre-match preparations—some stretching, others engaged in casual conversation. The atmosphere is tense but controlled, the kind of silence that comes before something big.

And in the middle of it all, you sit, watching from the sidelines.

You're not just any guest. You're here at the personal invitation of Sae Itoshi himself!

You and Sae have known each other since childhood—family friends, to be exact. He never cared much for friendships, his ego keeping most people at arm's length, but somehow, you did manage to stay by his side. Maybe it was out of obligation, or maybe there was something more that neither of you dare to acknowledge.

But what you don't know is that Sae has been falling for you all this time. His first love—silent, unspoken, yet undeniably real.

Leaving for Spain was difficult for him. He had to leave his parents, Rin and YOU! The thought of someone else taking his place in your life haunted him, even if he never admitted it. And when he found out you're visiting Spain for the summer, he wasted no time inviting you to his game.

Now, as the final moments before kickoff tick away, Sae suddenly stands up.

The room quiets instantly. His teammates turn, curious. But Sae ignores them all, his teal eyes locked onto you. He strides forward, stopping just inches away.

Then, in front of everyone, he speaks.

"If I score a hat trick today, you're going on a date with me."

Silence.

You blink. Around you, the room suddenly erupts.

"What the hell?!" someone shouts.

"Did Sae just confess in the most Sae way possible?" another mutters.

"Wait, wait, hold on—Sae, are you serious?!"

Sae ignores them, his expression unwavering. He isn't joking. Not even a little.

Your heart pounds. "H-Huh?"

His voice is steady. "You heard me. Three goals, and you’re mine for the evening."

Heat creeps up your neck. The way he looks at you—calm, composed, yet utterly serious—is almost too much to handle. The entire team is waiting for your response.

You cross your arms, trying to steady yourself. "…And if you don't?"

"Not happening."

The room explodes again.

"THIS GUY—"

"Who knew Sae could be such a show-off?!"

"Damn, now I actually want to see him miss just to see what happens—"

Sae's sharp glare cuts them off instantly. Then, without another word, he turns and walks toward the exit. "I'll see you after the match."

And just like that, he's gone.

.............................

The match was insane.

Sae played like a man possessed. Every touch, every movement is calculated perfection. His first goal? A clinical strike. The second? A breathtaking free kick. The third? A last-minute tap-in after effortlessly weaving through the defense.

Hat trick. Game over.

And just in case you think about backing out—he scores a fourth.

The stadium erupts, but Sae barely reacts. Instead, the moment the final whistle blows, he jogs toward the VIP section as he always does but this time his eyes are scanning the crowd for someone..... Searching for you!

You're still frozen in shock when he walks up at you. Without any drama he asks in his usual straightforward time "Four goals. No excuses. When's our date?"

Your face burns as his teammates roar with laughter behind him. You fake-huff with annoyance as you look away and mumble "…I was going to say yes after the third goal. Maybe even if you scored none... I still would have agreed." You pout.

A rare chuckle escapes him after seeing your rare pout, something softer in his gaze now. "Good. Because I wasn't stopping at three, anyway."

And in that moment, Sae Itoshi realised—his biggest victory isn't the match.

It's you.

[prkhaven]

MOTH TO A FLAME -p.js, p.sh-

With intent of moving on faith had other plans, guiding you right back where you started in the name of love and fate

pairing— fwb’s brother!jay x fem!reader x fwb!sunghoon

genre: smut minors do not interact, beauty behind madness, angst, slight fluff,friend with benefits au, friend with benefits’ brother au, park twin brothers, sibling rivarly, love triangle, p with plot, p with feeling, part 2 of you belong to me

wc: 14.9k

-all warnings under cut-

warnings: morally ambiguous characters, kissing, profanity, arguing, manipulation, toxicity, possessiveness, brief mention of family member passing and alcohol consumption

smut warnings: unprotected sex(whoopsie), p in v, emotional sex (emotional love making), cock warming, light dirty talk, praising, creampie, usage of nicknames (baby, princess, good girl)

You shot up from Jay’s arms in utter terror hearing Sunghoon’s voice on the other side of the door. A cold bucket of water drenched you making the extent of what you’ve done, of who you’ve done prominent.

“I swear- Open the fucking door Jongseong!”

With frantic eyes moving around your chest heaved until you soloed in on the locked bedroom door and how the doorknob feverishly rattled to open it.

In the moment the promise you made the moment you left home flashed through your racing mind. To have no more regrets—Go for what you want. Life is too short to dwell on things that cannot be changed, accept it as it is. It either shapes you to become better or worsens you from what you already started as.

Somehow, you single handedly managed to stomp on the very promise.

Jay saw the exhaustion instantly melt from you, replacing it with pure distress. He ran his tongue over his lips as he cupped your cheeks bringing your attention away from the banging door and onto him.

“Shh it’s okay” The pad of his thumb creased over softly as your skin crawled feeling disgusted, disappointment and guilt seeping into each crack your body had. Each bang on the door replicated each thump against your head

“Baby look at me” The attempt in calming your heavy pants was pointless, he had no way in calming you when all he wanted was Sunghoon to just shut up

“I know. I know” Jay hushed, wrapping his arms around you into his warm embrace. You shivered at the unexpected contact, your train of thought from the door gone as he soothed your bare back, “Let me get you a shirt”

“Stay right here, let me deal with him” It was soft and sweet like honey wishing to ease your nerves but you weren’t rest assured in the slightest but he let go of you before you could feel even an ounce of comfort from him

Wrapping your arms around your body to cover your bare self, you listened to every single muffled word that spewed from Sunghoon’s mouth. “Open the damn door!”

“Stop being a coward and face me Jay”

“Park Jongseong open the fucking door!”

And yet never once did you hear your name in any of his sentences of distress. You didn’t know whether that was good or bad—you still felt your stomach twisting in itself.

“Here we go” Moving your eyes hearing Jay who was already dressed, giving the same warm smile that never left his face

Holding out a shirt, he pulled your arms away from your body. You winced at the sudden feel of soreness connecting to your brain from your body and Jay had to hold back a prideful smile from forming, reminding himself of the graveness of the moment.

Slipping your arms and head through, his shirt laid over your body and he couldn’t help but have his eyes rack over. He knows he should be focusing on his brother that was going to quite literally break down his door any second.

His body leaned in and placed a peck on your forehead when he dragged up his sheets to cover your body, “Stay right here baby”

Seeing the back of Jay’s head walking closer and closer to the door, you felt a sickening feeling growing in your stomach. You decided to disregard Jay’s words, your eyes roamed around the room in search of your discarded underwear only to find them folded right next to you.

Peering over his shoulder for a moment, Jay smiled when you noticed the piece of undergarment left behind for you. He wanted to help you or more like he will. Especially in ways you need him.

He’s not a monster—far from it. He’s willing to deal with anything and everything if it means protecting you from harm, especially from Sunghoon who took you away from him.

Not the other way around.

There was hesitance in him once he stood in front of the door. His jaw clenched watching the shaking door. He wasn’t scared of his brother or of what he would do.

He was more worried about how this will affect you, of all the damage that Sunghoon has caused to you, in order to show you what true love is.

Jay’s fingers twisted the lock and he expected his brother to burst open the door but instead there was a defying silence. A pin drop could be heard, he furrowed his eyebrows considering this was the first time he’s witnessed his brother so quiet.

His hand hovered over the doorknob, sucking in a deep breath twisting at the knob but before the door could even crack open, Sunghoon burst it open with haste.

Stumbling back Jay tried to regain his balance but like a flash, he felt pain straight to his jaw while his head flung to the side from the impact.

Not even able to adjust to the pain shooting through, his collar was grabbed and he was forced to face Sunghoon who was furiously staring at him, heavy pants falling from him. “Where the fuck is she?!”

“Sunghoon!”

Your loud screech made him stop, the shout of his full name instead of the nickname you always called him in his brother’s room made a strike hit directly in his chest

Seeing for a second how Jay held his jaw moving it around until he looked over at you and his harsh demeanor dropped along with his heart to the pit of his stomach. A look of disbelief in your eyes.

It bothered him, you shouldn’t be in disbelief, it should be him.

The more he looked at the unlabeled expression. You were too mixed in with other emotions, it was ineligible to pin exactly which emotion was which, which he used to do easily.

Rage, regret, and most of all disappointment screamed at him, he just wasn’t sure if it was for himself or you but he could feel it in his bones.

His hand loosened around Jay’s collar enough for his brother to slip out of his grasp to stand in front of you to shield you—to protect you from him.

Gritting his teeth, he glared harshly with reflection of his anger, “Get away from her” Sunghoon’s chilling voice rang throughout the room, quickly masking the slight shiver in his tone

“She doesn’t want- She doesn’t fucking need saving from me. She needs saving from you” Sunghoon marched towards Jay, his finger pointed direct at him

Jay’s arm extended behind to push you further behind him when he noticed, “Backup Hoon” Jay’s soft tone retaliated the harsh one the other was seething out

Letting out a loud scoff, Sunghoon dropped his arm to his side as he stared in pure disbelief. Your eyes looked between the two brothers as your bottom lip jutted.

Sunghoon waited for a response from you, to step in and shield him from Jay but met with a familiar disappointment at the silence, he unconsciously clenched his lips tighter together to conceal the shiver of his lips that was slipping through his mouth.

Not trusting himself to say another word, he turned his heel and left the bedroom. Jay let out a loud sigh of relief and right when he was going to turn to you, he froze when you yelled out Sunghoon’s name, softly pushing past him to chase after him.

Jay’s eyes followed your fading figure, a twinge twist in him as he sees the back of your head, realizing it’s becoming something he’s growing far too accustomed to, leaving him stranded in his room, cold.

“Sunghoon!” You yelled again as you chased after Sunghoon when he stopped right before the front door, an evident slouch in his usual perfect posture, his hands balled into a fist at his sides

Is he stupid for denying the obvious or is he just reluctant in accepting the truth.

In an internal desperate search for something that could delude him because even after coming back home, hearing the muffled noise growing louder the more he stepped closer to the room followed by the pained call of your voice yearning for Jay didn’t feel real because it wasn’t right?

His body shaking, the build up spilling over as he harshly turned his body around to face you, “Why you?!” He shouted, “It could’ve been Sor-“ He paused abruptly before clearing his throat

“It could’ve been anyone else, why did it have to be you” His voice cracked slowly growing softer after each word

Ignoring the clench of your chest closing in, you chuckled shaking your head softly as the sound of skin slapping as your arms harshly landed at your side, “You tell me Sunghoon”

Your choice of words meant more than the surface level. He knew that, he could feel it and yet, he was arrogant to admit the truth of it.

His mouth opened in response but nothing came out. You bit your lip frustration letting out a loud sigh. “Go on, tell me Sunghoon. Why me of all people?”

“Was it because I was easy or was I just unfortunately the first girl you laid eyes on that would suffice this-this stupid plan of yours?”

The evident scrunch in your face with the mention of his set to fail plan from the start was a harsh reminder of the truth of why you were in his life to begin with.

Feeling his stomach churning as his heart cracked more, “I-I” He stuttered finding the words, “It-It’s not like that” Sunghoon took a step closer to you, unsure if he was trying to convince you or himself, “It’s never been like that”

“What has it been like then? Please enlighten me, just what are you so afraid of?”

That you’ll leave me is what he would’ve told you he had the courage to admit it. He thinks the situation would be far different from what it is now if he just had the will to say it outloud.

The thought of having to be forced to lose you tore him apart beyond recognition.

Seeing the change of expression from him—of something driven by anger to a breaking point, your face fell along with your heart melting to mush, “Sunghoon, that's all I’m asking of you… Speak your mind, tell me what you fee and I’ll listen” You softly patted your chest, wanting to emphasize your mere existence to him, “You know, I will- I always do”

The comfort you brought him swallowed him whole so much he didn’t realize your hands hovering over his arms until they lightly grazed them. He looked up from the ground to catch your eyes. The genuine look in them meant to be reassuring only left taunts in their wake.

“Please Sunghoon” A last attempt in bringing any type of rational conversation between you both

But to your disappointment, he yanked his body away from yours without a single word, not even daring to look behind his shoulder while opening the door, a hesitant step out of the door before placing it outside and walking out.

You stared face contorting in realization, “H-Hoonie” Calling out to him was useless, a burn built up in you as the door slamming muffled it to be left unheard

The weak of your knees buckled after one another, the weight of your world crashing down on you, “Hey Hey” Jay’s alarming breath came and rushed over to you, his knees scraping against the hard tile floors to catch the fall

When your body felt the warm embrace, you crumbled in his arms. Gulping down your silent sobs attempting to wipe the fallen tears away but your hand shook, unable to clean up the streaks going down your face.

Jay’s arms held you tightly whispering sweet nothing into your arms while he crumbled to the floor with you. His body rocked softly as he held you and consoled you.

Moving your head side to side when he tried to pull you up from the ground but he softly held your reluctant self hoisting you up, “Let’s go sit down somewhere else”

You tried to plant yourself in your step fearing that if you moved a muscle, the world you’ve grown accustomed to, the life you accepted would truly be stripped from you—you’d lose everything.

He continued to help you to stand up right, your body unconsciously resting against his as he became the pillar for you to stand. Unable to resist the pull of your body, forcing your leg to move after another.

Whilst being pulled away, you turned your head to look back to the closed door. You felt your heart shrivel as your robot-like movements came to a halt. Vision blurry with your eyelids feeling heavy, instinctively your body moved towards it until a grazing finger hooked under your chin moving your gaze away.

In your new view, Jay appeared with the dim lighting shining behind him, a welcoming smile as his other hand’s thumb rubbed at your shoulder as he guided you again, never letting your gaze let up his.

Only moving forward with no backward glances.

As the door closed behind him, Sunghoon wanted to disintegrate into nothing. His car keys dug straight into his palm, each step of his hard and heavy.

He didn’t think he would be able to walk out but he proved himself wrong and he hated it.

Slamming the driver’s door, he threw the keys into the cup holder, his hands flew to grip the steering wheel where he felt the burn of leather under his palm.

He screamed in frustration, hitting the steering wheel repeatedly in pure anger. He was exploding, an eruption that he couldn’t stop.

Instead of being in the house with you—to feel the radiating warmth of comfort, he sat in silence in the cold air of his car.

Unable to have the energy to even turn on his car since the heavy feeling in his chest rooted him into the seat.

If he took this hit, he’d enter a point where he would never return from. He would never forgive himself for being a coward.

“Fuck!” He hit the leathering around his steering wheel before leaning down and pressing his forehead against it

The broad and perfect posture of his shoulders he has pride in now hunched over his body feeling smaller than he has ever felt before.

“Don’t. Don’t” Each word followed with a shake in between, his grip loosened around the wheel and fell to the side, “Please don’t cry” His eyes burning but he still refused to blink

Yet, a stride of wetness creased down past his cheek to his chin, hanging at the tip to fall. He scoffed to himself in the mockery as he used the back of his hand to wipe the single tear away.

He sniffled roughly in an attempt to remind himself of who he is, of that promise he made years ago—Park Sunghoon doesn’t cry but after the single tear, it couldn’t stop.

・・・・・

Your hand hovered over the door, taking in the design of a door you’ve seen far too many times. You opened your mouth before shaking your head and nearly turned around but the front door opened right before you could leave.

Jay’s wide smile was already plastered before even got to fully see you. The door wide open as he shifted to the side, enough space to welcome you in, “I’m glad you were able to come”

The swimming trunks immediately caught your eye when you looked over at him, noticing the thin see through tank top, sunglasses resting on top of his head, the once eyebags under his eyes completely gone, a lighter demeanor radiating off of him with a twinkle in his eyes.

Your lips twitched. He looked happy.

“You offered” You softly responded, stepping foot into the house

Your eyes discreetly looked around, taking in how everything remained in the exact place even when everything was different. Deep down, your stomach flipped and turned into a squeeze as your fingers twinged at your side before curling into a fist, your thumb running over your knuckles.

It was eerily quiet which wasn’t uncommon but rather feeling the pleasant calming nature, you felt a heavy weight rest on your shoulders. The sound of the door behind snapped you out, earning a peering gaze over your shoulder to notice the obvious distance between the two of you.

Fiddling with your fingers, your gaze remained on the floor but when you were going to speak, Jay beat you to it and spoke up. “I just wanted to check in. See how you were doing, unbearable heat, am I right?” He awkwardly chuckled

There was more he wanted to see. Wanted to see how you were holding up but even still through a weak smile nodding your head. “I’m fine” Grazing your arm feeling him inch closer into your space, “How about you? You look… good” You turned your attention over to him

“I’m doing the best I have been in a while” He smiled warmly prompting your own lackluster smile back at him, “Come come” He took the initiative and walked ahead of you leading towards the patio door

Your footsteps slowed, watching how he walked through but you remained still. Jay noticed the lack of presence following him, he turned around to see you hesitant in joining him.

Suddenly coming into view, you looked up seeing Jay extending out a hand for you to grab. “It’s okay” The tone tender and soft afraid to speak louder and scare you, “I’m right here”

A lump formed in your throat but you bit back your tongue. A tight lip smile before softly talking his hand as he brought you onto the patio. Your eyes immediately looked around, a tug upwards on your lips as you scanned the area, a dazed expression casting on your face.

The splash of water erupted making you blink harshly to see the rippling effect in the pool. Your heart hammered as you took steps closer to the edge of the pool, your mind reeling at a thought—a foolish one might you add.

Jay emerged from the bottom of the pool, his hands wiped over his face. The brightest smile ever over his face, how his eyes sparkled while looking up at you as his hands gripping the ledge propelling his body up just enough to rest his folded arms over to hold himself up. “Pool is perfect temperature”

A string of his hair clung to his forehead. You crouched down, your hand pushing back the singular hair with a strained smile. “There you go” You softly whispered

His wet hand grabbed your arm and pulled you in with a laugh, you squealed and flared your arms as you were submerged into the cold chlorine water. Strong hands gripped you as you pushed yourself to the surface, erupting a loud gasp from your mouth when the air hit your face.

Jay’s laughter flooded your ears as you wiped your face down to rid of the water on it. Whipping your head towards Jay to see the heartfelt laughter rumbling out from the depths of his stomach, leaving you to wonder has he always laughed like this.

When he opened his eyes to look at you, his laughter began to die down, soft chuckle with bursts of loud held back laughs until he let out a big sigh. “Sorry, you look like you needed to cool down”

Sending him a harsh glare as you try to make your way to the edge of the pool but he remained to have his hold on you making the downwards of your mouth turn into a smile followed by a scoff.

Following after you until you were in the shallow ends, Jay looked at you with a sheepish grin before loosening his hold on you.

Instantly your hand flew to splash the water in front of you, he laughed as he accepted the water sent his way. You laughed loudly seeing the expand of his arm and thrown back head as the water splashed at his body.

He opened his eyes and looked at you with wide eyes when the splashing stopped and with a sudden notice, his expression shifted and your smile faltered into an awkward cough, “What?”

The look of his eyes softening and filled with the same emotion he always looked at made you push out your lips for a second before landing into a thin line. The water swished around him as he pushed through and walked closer to you.

Eyeing him as he got closer, you raised your arms up but you dropped them when Jay sunk to his knees in the shallow end in front of you.

The water covering his built body, the tanktops sticking to his body leaving no imagination to know what was underneath. A quick thought lingered towards the back muscles your fingers dug into, the sculptured body that you were clinging onto for support—as if imagination was needed for your mind.

You quickly pulled yourself up slightly but your eyes never moved from his. He looked up at you with a side smile before extending his hands out for you to grab. Looking in between them and his face, his smile grew when the faint piano melody followed by hums played in the background, “Lana del rey?”

He didn't respond to you right away, tilting his head to the side when his eyes pooled with such care when the lyrics flowed through the air. Taking a moment to appreciate the song coming on. “Guilty” He chuckled as the bright sunlight beaming down casted a hue over him

‘Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful?’

‘Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul?’

Goosebumps ghosted your skin, not fully sure if it occurred because of the window passing by that brushed away his damped hair or with the way he just looked at you without a word.

A flutter in your chest reminds you of reality. The thumps of each beat in the song mimicked the ones of your heart. Gulping down the forming lump as you watched the sparkle in his eyes grow the longer he looked at you.

‘Will you still love me when I’m no longer beautiful?’

“From The Great Gatsby” Jay’s voice followed through the music, melting into one with it, “Or how I remember it… The greatest longing ever known”

Your face scrunched up in the moment, the clear scenes from the movie flashing through your mind as you recall it from all that time ago from when you first watched it, “The greatest longing huh…” You softly said to yourself

Being able to pull your gaze away to focus on the scenery in the distance, “What would you do in that situation?”

Jay remained looking at you, a loud sighing coming from him didn’t manage to catch your attention fully, “I would do everything in my power to get back the one I love with me”

The sincerity bled through his voice and into your aching soul, “After suffering countless time without her, I would do anything to make her see me again”

Your lips stretched back shaking your head at the answer, “I meant as Daisy”

He shook his head instantaneously, “I’d be gatsby” The fast respond made you finally look away from what's it front of you—to acknowledge him

Tilting your head to the side, you saw how the bright smile faded away and was met with the thin lining of his lips, “You’d be with him?”

“No I would be him” Jay let out a sigh, “I would never find myself in Daisy’s position because I’d be in Gatsby’s position in the first place”

The harsh thump in your chest made you slightly shift in the water, the whirl of the mineral made the sense of cloud grow greater, “You’d do all of that..?”

Jay extended his arms out landing on each side of you growing closer to you, “I would do far more than what he’s done” The smile didn’t meet his eyes but it didn’t need to, his words were perfectly conveyed

‘Dear Lord, when I get to heaven’

‘Please let me bring my man’

ꨄ︎

As you threaded up the stairs, your hands ghosted over the rails knowing if you touched them, it would burn your skin too much. With each step up the stairs, your heart grew more active, your breathing became uneven as you reached the stop of the stairwell.

A familiar hallway emerged and your heart undeniably dropped. The same portrait hung from the wall and you had to force yourself to look at the ground as you walked by—focusing on the intent of finding towels to dry up.

Yet, as you passed your body shivered at the ghost feel of a hard gaze following your every move. Your fingers digging into the flesh of your palm as your legs quickly carried you away and past the closed bedroom door and portrait.

Reaching the closet where the extra amenities were held, you came to a stop right when in the corner of your eye, you spotted the closed balcony door. Seeming your body didn’t wait for your mind to register, gliding across the floor before landing in front of it. Your hand twists the knob and pries it open enough for you to slip through.

You held your arms close to your chest, each step closer to the outlining rail ahead of you. The scenery grew into your sight by the second, making your heart cave in itself, a soft smile ghosting your face when overlooking the backyard.

Resting your arms on the rail, your phone coming into view as you unlocked it with dancing fingers crossing over the screen before clicking on the contact that you’ve refused to open.

Instantly, messages that were once constant flooded your screen. A saddening feeling itchy inside of your chest. All the good morning and goodnight messages he sent you even if you were right next to him.

But the more you scrolled down, the messages came to an abrupt stop with you being the final message.

You: Sunghoon can we please talk

-Unable to send message. Message block is active-

Sighing heavily as you stared at the subscript underneath your failed message. Seeing the name at the top of the screen made your vision impaired for a moment before refocusing on it—Sunghoon.

Your thumb hovered over the call button that all it took was one tap and you would kill the curiosity. Yet, you hesitated.

The more your thumb inched closer, the more you grew more uncertain of whether you wanted to awaken what you have pushed deep down to never be touched again. Head filled to the brim of him regardless of how many times you’ve tried time and time again to get rid of him that you swore he was still there calling out to you softly.

The endearment with a hint of an underlying emotion that you couldn’t decipher made your thumping heart come to a halt, the sound of his voice grew louder that it was practically screaming in your mind.

You laughed at yourself, shaking your head, dipping it into a low hang. The slouch of your head now laying on your shoulders with an unexplainable heavier weight washing down on you.

Immediately picking on the hushed whisper of your name at the shell of your ear, you jerked away ripping your eyes open as you whipped your head around to Jay resting his head on your shoulder. The night winds no longer affect your heating body.

His arms extended out at each of your sides, his hands covered and holding the forgotten towel around you both. His eyes looked ahead to mimic what you were doing. The breath in your throat got caught trying to focus on him until you pulled back when Sunghoon’s voice suddenly creeped into your mind.

Moving your head around, eyes frantically wandering around—looking for the source where it came from but you only caught Jay’s gaze looking at you. A light frown on his face that you would’ve missed if you weren’t paying close attention.

“It’s cold up here” His voice softly said, “We have a fireplace I can start up” Your eyes blinked quicker than usual when you heard this—you didn’t know there was a fireplace here

Jay wrapped the towel for you to grasp onto as he flickered to start the fire. Holding the soft cloth tighter around as you watched him. The flames roared brighter and hotter as he softly chuckled and taking a step back to admire his work, “All done” He hummed before taking a seat and patting the empty space next to him

Straining out a smile, you silently took a seat next to him shifting as you got adjusted, noticing how he still wore the damp tank top from earlier. Fiddling with the cloth around you, you extended an arm and wrapped the other end to his shoulder.

You could feel his gaze shifting towards you but you looked away before you caught it.

Jay smiled to himself, gripping onto the end of the towel and holding it in place, forcing himself to inch closer to properly drape it over his shoulder. There was a moment of silence, the fire cackling being the only thing that could be heard.

“I didn’t know there was a fireplace here” You broke the silence with your sentence

“Only me and my mom really used to use it…” There was a pause in his sentence before he continued, “Sunghoon never really like using it, he preferred to go inside to dry up”

Your eyes remained on the growing fire, the warmth radiating off of it to warm your skin. Letting go of the material around you causing it to towel slip off your shoulder.

“Can I ask what happened?”

“That prompted all of this” You waved your hands in a circular motion and Jay watched how your face contorted with your heavy sigh, it was the least that he could tell you

“You know that, you and I met back then. Before you and Sunghoon met” The news made you shift over to him with a shocked expression

He rubbed his nape with a strained chuckle, the towel now falling off his shoulder to his back, “It was our last year of school. I was running late on my first day as a transfer and I couldn’t rely on my dad to bail me out of trouble” Jay laughed as he recalled the time

“So for the first time in my life, I hopped a fence to not get caught and to my luck there was a kind girl just on the other side of the wall that made sure of that”

You’ve just had a revelation.

“That was you?” Your voice barely above a whisper but he caught it nevertheless

“That was me” Jay softly responded, “Ever since you helped me, I tried to show my gratitude to you. I wanted to repay you for saving me from an earful from my dad”

“But everytime, I was near you I froze up. My words started to jumble together and you somehow grew farther from me with each attempt” He pitied himself from back then, how his past self wouldn’t believe his current self

“So having to find an alternative, I decide to write to you every single day and left each note on your desk”

You searched for any deceitfulness and it came up empty, “That sticky note you have for your lock screen”

Not even noticing how he knew what your lock screen was, you shuffled to take out the device sneaking a glance towards the lightened up screen ‘Go for what you want’

“That was me”

A ringing in your ear had you releasing the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. You remember when Sunghoon wrote it for you—taping it to the side of your mirror, to remind you every day to chase after what you want.

You were deceived.

“There was no fate if you thought that’s what it was when he wrote that. It was just me”

“I-I don’t get it” You interrupted, “How did he know you used to write me notes? How did he know what you wrote to me back then?”

“He went through my things after leaving me on the plane because he knew I couldn’t do anything to stop him. He searched for any piece that get back at me for whatever I did to him”

Your head jerked back, body leaning back in the armless couch, “What do you mean he left you on the plane?”

“We both got accepted to the same university and when the time came, we were on the flight but he left before we took off… Sunghoon was never supposed to stay home” The thumping of your heart mixed with your blaring ringing ears

“What did you do to him?” Your voice became stronger that he could feel it in his bones

He didn’t want to dump everything on you, it wasn’t your burden to bear. It was something between him and Sunghoon. He just needed to make sure you knew how your beginning was meant to be with him as he could only hope you would end with him too.

“Nothing. I did nothing to him”

You dropped your head into your hands, rubbing at your creased forehead. There must be more—they just had to be. The gnaw at your stomach ate away at you as the words repeated in his mind.

Nibbling on your lip, teeth dragging at your bottom flesh as eyes moved around, the faint sparks flying from the fire landing in front of you to the ground before burning out, “Where were you that day, when you told me to meet up with you at the park?”

You brought your head up to face him, “You told me to come and I did- Only to be left out like an idiot waiting for you to come just for you to not show up that day”

“If you say all these things- If what you mean is true… Where were you?

He tensed at your words, his shoulders squaring up while his gaze looking down to the floor unable to face you. Regrets he’s had a few but then again, he was not going to let losing you become his biggest one.

“I’m sorry for not showing up. I am so sorry” Cracks in his sentence reflecting his state of mind

“Sorry doesn’t cut it Jay. You stopped sending notes after that and I never heard from you since”

“I really wanted to go to you. I swear I did- I never meant to stop writing, It’s just that… life shifted for me during that time and I made a sacrifice that I regret ‘till this day”

Your hands pulled yourself up in surprise, shifting in your seat left to watch how Jay came kneeling down in front of you. A failed attempt in trying to get him to stand as he stayed rooted in place. “But I’m done making sacrifices to make everyone else happy. I’m going to do what I want”

“And I know I want you. I’ll wait for you if you need time—I’ll give you all the time in the world if you need it. If you need to use someone” He taps at his chest in an offer of himself to you, “Use me. I don’t care if it’s because you need to get over him or just to get your anger out”

“I just want to show you how you deserved to be treated and cared for. With just pure intentions, no malicious intent”

“Jay-” You softly grabbed his hands but he reached up and engulfed your hands into his, the callous feel creasing over your skin as you felt the roughness of them

His thumb rubbed circles over your hand, his glassy eyes staring at you, not sure if it came from the overwhelming emotions or the dust particles flowing through the air seeping into his eyes, “Won’t you let me in?”

ꨄ︎

So many people for such a spontaneous celebration that you made last minute.

The small party was buzzing with light chatter. Your eyes looked around taking it all in. A few months passed down the line without a stop and it wasn’t to your surprise when Jay was standing at your doorstep with a wide smile engulfing you into a tight hug as he broke the news of his successful inheritance of his father’s company.

Choosing to celebrate this achievement for him even when he said a dinner with you would be more than enough—You wanted to give him more. You weren’t sure the drive behind wanting to create this party for him, masking it with a want to shed light on his grand accomplishment.

Yet, the gnawing at your stomach as your eyes scanned across the room only grew larger.

Jay smiled ear to ear as he accepted the countless praises, congratulations, and shaking hands that were offered to him. His cheeks hurt from how much he’s been smiling but it didn’t stop him from shifting his eyes to the side to see you standing with a kind smile. Regardless how many times he’s seen it, he feels like when he first met you.

This is it. Everything he’s longed for has come to life after waiting and dreaming for.

When his father clinked his glass with a fork to garner everyone’s attention, he looked away just for a second with knitted brows but his smile never left him. “Wonder what he’s going to say-“ He started to whisper expecting to see you next to him but instead found you gone

Moving his head back to scan around the room to find you but stopped his actions when his names were called out with a gleeful tone.

“Jay. Jongseong. My eldest son” His father raised his glass to him, “Even if you struggled along the way, it makes me proud of the man you have become”

“That you finally found your righteousness in the world—-where you’re meant to be. Stand for what sticks, not for what falls” Jay pressed his lips into a thin line as he awkwardly raised his glass to his father’s words

“But I have a surprise for you” His father looked around to everyone in the room, a deep laugh joining in his words, “Joining us after so long, finally deciding to show up today. Just unable to miss out on this wonderful day”

“Pleased to say my other son—Jongseong’s twin will like to say a few words after being gone for some time” His father introduced and the room fell silent

After moving to grab a camera to capture the supposed sweet moment, the artifact nearly slipped through when your eyes zeroed in and as if everything around you faded to dust and slowed down towards the walking male onto the stage.

Sunghoon looked different from the last time you saw him.

His hair swooped to the side, framing the shape of his forehead but leaving enough room to show it, his sharp eyes crinkled in the light as his jaw screwed shut managing to make it seem sharper than before, his cheekbones rising slightly hollow and high. The sleek black suit clinging to his body perfectly, outlining the now grown muscles.

The sharp eyes scanned across the room until they found yours. Remaining focused on you for a second longer, he turned away showcasing the smile you haven’t seen in a while—a sinister twist to it making your blood run cold.

“Bravo. May I just say bravo” Sunghoon raised the glass in hand, “A toast to my brother” His mellow voice called out loud enough for everyone’s attention to draw to the unexpected guest

“From your brother who’s always by your side”

Jay, unable to move from the spotlight shone on him by Sunghoon. Having to remain still and collected as all eyes were on them, his frantic eyes searched the crowd to see where he lost you before he looked back to Sunghoon whose grin grew larger.

“I am beyond impressed with what you have accomplished. There was always talks of who would take over of what but I’m glad that each of us gained something through the sacrifices of others”

“Hopefully you are able to cherish what others have done to make sure you reached this point in your life. A life where you may have regrets that only shape you further into whatever path you wish to follow”

“May you always satisfied Jongseong” Sunghoon raised his glass high looking around the crowded room as everyone mimicked the process

Your eyes burned from unblinking, afraid that if you did, he would disappear right before you. Sunghoon brought the glass to his lips, drinking in the bitter liquor to his tongue but as he threw his head back, his eyes never once moved from yours.

The glass coming into view provided the perfect coverage of his growing smirk.

Jay chose flight in the fight or flight mode he was in once he realized where his brother’s eyes were on. A rage filled in him and his body moved on its own but he halted when someone lightly tapped his shoulder.

Sorin smiled warmly at him as she softly called out his name and embraced him into a hug he didn't reciprocate, “Congratulations Jay!” Her voice pitched higher after finally be able to reconcile in person after so long

As rude as it may have sounded in his mind, he could care less of Sorin’s presence because she wasn’t you.

He tried to move his body in order to find you only to see the path clearing up where you stood watching Sunghoon approaching you, a sly smirk on his face once he was in front of you.

You stared at him in disbelief. Your heart churned in itself as your eyes raked over him—taking in his appearance and how you thought nothing changed while everything did in fact change. “W-What…” Your voice trailed off

He lightly chuckled, different from what you used to hear, it didn’t reach his eyes or show the row of teeth with the sharp ones peeking out. It was a polite and polished smile.

Swirling the empty glass at hand as he tilted his head, “Didn’t think I would miss out on my own twin brother’s celebration party did you?”

“What are you actually doing here Sunghoon?” Your voice dropped and his smirked rose as he lifted his hands up, placing the now empty glass on a passing tray

“You’ve out done yourself” He dejected the subjected as he looked around to the bustling party, “I can tell you made this party”

“Jay wouldn’t have made this much effort to celebrate his own success or would our dad do something small like this… This is Jongseong we’re talking about, the success that was always meant to be followed”

Your eyes glared at him. Unsure of the raging emotion binding up was for him showing up after being away for months or if the flutter in your heart was something else.

Attempting to walk away in search of Jay, Sunghoon’s hands grasped your shoulders. You silently hissed at the familiar feel resting on your skin, however uncontrollably your body melted into the contrasting warmth and cold touch on your skin.

Sunghoon’s lips tugged upwards as he stood behind you, his gold feather-like but still demanding of holding you in place. His thumb traces circles, “Guess some old-habits don’t die” He softly chuckled

Guiding you from where you stood to the perfect sight of where Jay interacted with someone you’re sure you didn’t invite. A frown grew on your face and he watched every twitch of your expression change.

Sorin places a hand at Jay’s arm with a fond smile on her face, eyes sparkling brightly as he gives a chuckle as he speaks, making her erupt into a fit of giggles—all while inching closer to him.

Your chin is lifted away and turned to look back at Sunghoon softly shaking his head, his lips smacking against his teeth, “Now I am positive… Old habits never die”

His words were more menacing and heavier than what they meant on the surface. Your stomach felt weird as you looked at him with wide eyes, he softly stroked your cheek, his gaze flickering to Jay and Sorin—seeing him pry her hand off his.

But what you didn’t know wouldn’t kill you.

Jay peers around the room and finally stumbles upon you and Sunghoon. He saw the way he held you, his chest pressing so close to your back as he held your chin. Jay fists grew tighter at his side as he tried to excuse him, but Sorin wouldn’t let him go just like that after so long.

“Do you hate him?” The fingers gripped deeper into your shoulders as the hold on your chin became tighter but still managing to pull your head to face him on your own

He could see the whirling in your mind from his words because why in the world would you hate Jay in the first place?

“Or is it me that you hate? Do you resent me? Fucking loath me for what I’ve done?”

You roughly push his digging fingers away, turning your body around with a muffled strain. His eyes flickered behind you and he engulfed your hands into his, your body melting away all tension immediately as your hand fell into his.

His smirk changed into a smile—the one you knew of, the one you used to receive.

He brought your hand up to his lips, softly grazing it with planting a soft kiss on top of it, “Talk to you soon… Princess” Hearing the weared out nickname again made your heart jump before falling into the pit of your stomach

Softly bringing your hand back to your side, he nodded his head walking away to disappear into the sea of people without another word but your eyes never left his fading figure once.

Suddenly, a hand on your shoulder spun you around. Jay’s worried face lightened up finally having you back with him, he cupped your jaw, turning it around as his lips shivered, “Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you right?”

You couldn’t even respond before he wrapped a hand around your wrist and dragged you towards the exit—the party already ending in his mind.

Unable to wrap your head to comprehend seeing Sunghoon in so long that you aimlessly followed. A foot followed after another as you reached closer to the exit. Still, turning your head and there you saw Sunghoon staring right at you, unmoving of the position you left him in.

The girl you had seen talking to Jay suddenly reappeared besides Sunghoon, shifting her eyes onto you and Jay’s fading figure. She mumbled something which he dismissed, Sunghoon remained his line of sight on your terror-filled face.

Even if you turned from Sunghoon all to turned behind, peering over your shoulder to see him. He smirked, stuffing his hand in his pockets as he watched you and Jay disappear.

Sunghoon remained lingering in your mind, regardless of the time passed and attempting to forget who tainted you. He will forever haunt you. He was always there in the back of your mind.

ᥫ᭡.

Watching the buildings passing through the window, the lights embedding in and lighting up the night with hope, dreams, happiness.

With any chance he gets, Jay looks over to you at every red light and anticipates something—anything from you. To his disappointment or fear still unsure of what it is, you remain silent with a turned away head focusing on the outside.

It was like that for the rest of the car ride until he parked in front of your place. Shifting the gear into park, he let out a silent sigh as he stared at the steering wheel. Fingers danced against it and he was going to step out of his car to open your door but stopped when you spoke, “Did you know?”

He whipped his head towards you in bewilderment, “Of course not. I didn’t know he was going to show up. I haven’t heard a single thing from him or about him ever since he left that night”

Your hands balled on your lap as you focused on the creasing on them. Holding back on your tongue, you lightly shook your head, “Then how did he know to show up? I made the party for you”

“My dad must’ve told him- I don’t know! But I swear I wasn’t the one that did” His hand reached out to hover your cheek, “Please baby-“

You swatted his hand away, turning to the door before pulling at the handle and letting yourself out. Jay watched in disbelief in the sweat you once sat in.

Quickly, he rushed out and slammed the door behind him chasing after you with soft calls of your name. It wasn’t until he pulled at your arm to turn you around once you were at your front door, “Please listen to me!”

“Don’t start, please” You softly pulled from his grip, “I can’t do this- Not right now”

“What is there to deal with? So he shows up and that’s it?”

“Who was she Jay, the one you were talking to after his speech, who was she?” He stays silent, his mouth opening and closing trying to form the proper sentence that didn’t expose much but also eased you

“She’s just an old friend” Through his words you knew there was more than just that and it shattered your heart, another vague coverup from the truth

You sighed before jamming your keys into your lock and twisted the doorknob. Shuffling behind you, Jay stood beside his breathing heavy and you could feel his eyes pouring into you

Roughly closing your eyes, you chuckled softly before shaking your head, “Not today Jay”

“So you’re just going to give up? When we were doing good? It’s all gone because he finally shows up?” He softly grasped at your arm to pull away from the doorknob

“Jay please-”

“No I’m sorry but we have to talk about this. We can’t just fall apart like that all because he decides to come back and ruin everything”

His mind filled with thoughts that he grew a headache, “You-You can’t go back to him. You just can’t!”

“Who said anything about going back to-”

“You can’t have the both of us!” Jay voices grew louder with each syllable and something shifted in your mind, he could tell in the way your eyes narrowed and a scowl formed in your face

A flash glistened over your eyes, your mouth tugging into a frown,"I never wanted both” Your voice never raised louder than how you were speaking, he understood your words perfectly, it’s the first coherent thing he’s ever heard

You opened your mouth to follow up but you closed your mouth to push open your door before closing it behind with no second glances back at him. You let out a shudder of a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

Jay stays outside of your door, his hand hovered over ready to knock but he stops midway as he drops his arm to his side. His shoulder slouched as he looked at the closed door.

His jaw clenched before fishing out his phone from his pocket, dialing the number after opening the contact and bringing his phone to press against his ear as he walked back to his car.

Taking one last glance to your place until stepping into his car when the phone line pinged.

“Jay?”

“What are you playing at Sorin?”

ꨄ︎

Go for what you want. Looking at the sticky note attached to your mirror, you caught a glimpse of your glooming self.

Your fingers traced over the sticky note, humming softly at the end seeing the small signature at the corner signaling Sunghoon's unerasable presence. The phone in hand pushed further into your palm as your grip grew tighter. Your jaw clenched before bringing your phone to your ear after one click.

Your palms felt sweaty and your heart hammered out of your chest while anticipation settles in until the first ring rushes out your speaker. Quickly pulling your phone away to hang up the call, you looked at your screen with heavy pants.

Sunghoon’s contact came back into frame as you felt a shiver run up your spine in realization.

While, the moment Sunghoon received the call he couldn’t help but laugh, noticing the abrupt end of it before he could even answer. His lips landed into an undeniable pout at the thought He knew you only needed one ring to know but he still wished you gave him the chance to answer.

His hand landed on both his hands reaching over to open the chat he’s refused to look at for months but the slam of the door stopped him. He looked up but utterly gasped when he saw a fist swinging his way.

Barely being able to miss the punch, he turned around to stumble over his feet with haste only to see Jay heaving in anger.

“You’re a monster Sunghoon”

He laughed when the words left his twin brother’s mouth, a genuine stomach laugh rumbling from deep within his stomach all while he straightened out his folded upright, he knitted his eyebrows together with a smile creeping on his face.

He used to believe he was no monster, simply existenting with the fact of being overlooked by the Jay shaped shadow that haunted his life, that he wanted to escape from but things have changed.

Time apart from you made him quickly realize he was no good person from the moment he decided to chase after you. He comes to accept that he’s been a monster from the very start.

“And you’re some saint?” He snorted, “A god that she’s supposed to look up to for salvation?”

“Give me a break Jay”

“Does it not mean anything to you?!” Jay yelled, shaking Sunghoon’s collar in a rough manner once his hands clasped at it, “Leave us alone! Why can’t you just let her be?” Jay’s voice fell lowers earning a scoff from his brother

Sunghoon laughed, throwing his head back, the chuckle rumbling his chest in a warm manner making his cheeks hurt from how much he was laughing. “Let her be? She will never be free if she’s with you” He emphasized the end of his sentence

“Don’t you realize that you’re like some parasite between us? Always taking and taking what isn’t yours”

Jay’s hand loosened around Sunghoon’s shirt staring at his brother wide eyed, “She never needed saving from me but now with you in your life, I think she can finally realize she needs saving from you”

“You’re the one that needs to realize what you’re doing. You’re making her succumb and confide in you for the sake of what?”

Sunghoon tilted his head as he peered Jay off, “Love? True love?” He darkly laughed at his own words, “Please”

“Show some compassion Sunghoon” Jay’s word were heavy on his tongue but he could feel the glare his brother gave him

“Because you showed me compassion?” Sunghoon gripped Jay’s wrist and pushed him off, scoffing at the antics his brother was throwing

“You don’t get to have her Jay” He roughly shook his head, “You don’t get it through that thick skull of yours that you can’t have her”

Jay scoffed, his finger reaching to push against his chest, “That makes you a hypocrite you know”

He could feel the question gaze Sunghoon sent him but Jay only smirked before retreating his hand away, “Because if she can’t be with me? What makes you so worthy of being with her?”

“You don’t get to want her Sunghoon” Jay laughed blissfully unaware of the glint shimmering over his brother’s eyes once he heard the follow up words, ”She was never yours to begin with”

And how sure of that, are you Jongseong?

・・・・・

There was a knock at your door that stumped you in your tracks. Eyebrows creased in the middle releasing it almost instantly as you shook your head, choosing to walk over to your front door before hastily unlocking and opening it.

“Jay I thought we agreed on space” Your sighed but stopped once you realized, you had mistaken it for the wrong brother

Your body stunned at the sight of Sunghoon looking around until the sounds of his brother’s name came from your mouth, “Wrong brother, try again” He heartily joked and you felt the twist inside of you

“I- What are you doing here?” You asked, the grip on your door tighter as he watched how you didn’t laugh as his poor joke

“I don’t mean to intrude. I just figured after we met at the party after not seeing each other for months, I just thought it was appropriate to finally return your stuff back” He smiled showing the rows of teeth but looking over at him and he empty handed

“Can I come in?” And instead of waiting for a response, he just maneuvered his way past and into your place without another word uttered

You blinked harshly, unable to get a word out, closing the door behind him as your feet moved quickly to trail after him.

“I don’t remember leaving- You aren’t holding anything” You pointed out noticing the lack of bulked items at hand but he only looked around your place with glassy eyes

“Nothing has changed” He muttered under his breath more for himself but you managed to hear him loud and clear

“Sunghoon” You sternly called out his name and instead of responding his back turned around and you were greeted with his sweet smile as his hand extended out and grazed across your wall

“How are you?” The simple question felt more than just curiosity

You softly gulped unmoving your eyes from him, “Good” Choosing only to respond with nothing more than just one syllable, even if it may not be a direct reflection of you right now

“Really?” Sunghoon’s voice was soft, “Ahh” He faintly scoffed, “Why does it annoy me so much to hear that you’re doing okay”

Your mouth fell open as you glanced around his face—searching for a sign of unfaithfulness in his words but they were genuine. Sunghoon’s words were raw and true mimicking the tone of voice.

“You know I tried to forget about you, I really did” He looked to your floor as if they were the more interesting item in your place even though he knew that you stand right in front of him—where he actually wanted to look

“It was pointless obviously”

“And how do you know that?” Your reply made him breath through his nose

”Because I wouldn’t be standing here right now if I was. Plus how could I forget you? You haunt me every waking moment”

“I can’t forget you no matter how hard I try. Scrubbed at my skin during every shower trying to get your touch off my skin after practically living in the gym with hopes of burning you out of me” Sunghoon sucked in a breath as his voice grew more agitated

“But as I lay awake at night no matter where I am, I dream about you. You were always there. Your eyes, smile, laughter, your terrible attempted jokes, everything that was connected to you was burned into my mind—forced to accustom to the lack of you even though I had you”

“Because we were together-“

You stepped in and interrupted, “No we weren’t Sunghoon” Your voice defeated, “It-It was fake- What we were was just some joke”

He shook his head violently, “No. It wasn’t a joke. It was real” Sunghoon cut you off before taking a step towards you, “It was far too real for us to be just labeled as friends, tutors or acquaintances or whatever you want to call us”

“We were real” His tone snappy and sharp that pierced your skin into your heart, “I took a step back- I let you mess around with Jongseong for a while so that you can feel comfortable without my presence there because I wanted you to realize”

“And realize what exactly”

“That I don’t need you anymore? That for once in my life I could be desired without ulterior motives?” The words growing heavier on your tongue as it weighed your heart down, “Do you even regret what you did? Did you have fun making me out as some kind of fool”

Your hand rose up to harshly rub your head, “I find it very hard to believe that you ever cared about me. Did you even love-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence” His voice dropped to a lower register cutting you off as he glared at you causing you to laugh at him

“Why not? Because it hurts to face the truth? You were so stuck up on focusing on something that never meant to involve me and yet, you dragged me dead center into your petty feud”

“That’s what you think this is? That I’m still trying to get back at him?” He knitted his brows to crease in the middle. He shook his head with the smile that twisted your heart, “No princess… I moved on from that”

You glared at him with a loud scoff before shaking your head. “If you just came here to pester my life and not return anything, get out” You turned a heel unwavering in your steps, trying to maintain your peace from slipping

“Can I use your bathroom before I go then?” His voice returned to the soft tone stopping you in your step

Slowly peeking over your shoulder, you saw him standing there, the glossiness of his eyes grown from what they were in the beginning. There was a moment of silence where neither of you said anything. His body shivered with anticipation at your words.

“You know where it is” You responded before turning back and walking past him to somewhere in your place

His eyes watched your moving figure until it disappeared from sigh around the corner, Moving the plush of his lips around for a second before retreating down the hall where your bedroom and bathroom lay.

You stared at nothing as the headache grew by the second. Fluttering your eyes closed as you took heavy breaths to regulate yourself to at least a somewhat regular pace.

Shivering at the thought of Sunghoon’s face back in your head even when you tried to push him, he returned.

Like a moth to a flame. Which one was who was still unclear.

You weren’t sure of how much time actually passed but it felt like an eternity ever since he went to the bathroom. Opening your eyes, your vision splotchy for a moment as you tried to get accustomed to the light.

Blinking harshly, you turn your body around in search of Sunghoon however, the moment you reach where the bathroom door was supposed to be locked—It was wide open with no signs of him ever in there. You whipped your head around until you saw your bedroom door ajar slightly.

Your feet moving faster than you could register, you burst through into your room, eyes quickly rummaged through until it spotted Sunghoon right in front of your mirror. His finger is tracing over the sticky note you’ve refused to take down for some reason.

His eyes looked through the mirror to see you staring wide-eyed at him. “You never got rid of it” Your body was rigid when he turned around and looked at you with a different look in his eyes

Knowing he was waiting for a response, you frowned, “I thought you were going to the bathroom and then leaving”

The corner of his lip rose up so slightly that if you weren’t paying attention, you would’ve missed it. He didn’t respond to your statement like how you didn’t respond to his, his eyes raked over you before catching your eyes with his.

You gulped down your hammering heart, “Don’t look at me with those eyes”

“What eyes?” Sunghoon softly replied, the same look in bjs eyes unwavering

You stayed silent breaking the eye contact for what it was, shutting them tightly attempting to rid the vision of his eyes that looked past and into your soul, able and more than willing to read those thoughts you would never voice out.

“Those eyes” He hummed at you, tilting his head to the side

His hum was loud when it rumbled out of him, you held your breath softly shifting your gaze from the floor to him. He stood closer to you, his face near inches away from your with a slight frown tugging on his face, “I mean you are fucking my brother…” Your eyes moved in between his, “I think I get to feel a little bit of resentment”

You swallowed down the forming lodge in your throat, “Do you?”

He stayed silent for a moment, his breath fanning over yours as he stared deeply into your eyes, searching and finding the thoughts he knew were reserved for only him, “No”

Your eyes softened in response to his words, your shaky breath released as you could feel his head leaning in closer. You tried to pull yourself away—to rid yourself from falling into him wishing to be strong, after all preparation to see him again.

Yet, his arm wrapped at your waist and all rationality bolted out the window, "You want to be mine" It was a statement rather than a question that you didn’t try to oppose

"You've always wanted to be mine, haven't you?” It went through your ear and stayed in your mind, your hands squished in between your bodies weakly holding at his collar as he grew closer, "Don’t worry because with no doubt in my mind you were mine"

Sunghooon’s lips hovered over your now, "You belong with me princess" Those were the last words he said before engulfing your lips with his

His heart nearly hammered out of his chest as his body instinctively melted into it. Forced to go so long without you was torture—having to know that Jay had you the way he used to.

Moving in harmony, your hands gripped tighter at his collar. Cliche as it may sound in your mind, the once roaring raging head finally went silent. Sunghoon’s hand grabbed at your shaky ones, prying your hand to let go and once he felt you loosen your hold, he wrapped them around his neck before holding your waist again.

He felt how your body pressed into his, how your hands consciously tangled into his hair groaning at the rakes of it slotting through the crevice in between each finger, your nails scratching softly at his head like how you knew he liked it.

His body pushed back, rendering you to the plush of the mattress having the sheets wrinkling at the new edition of the longing weight it’s missed. Placing eager kisses, he realizes he was no better than a smitten man.

“Do I want to know what you and him have done?” He darkly hummed against your neck, his tightening hand gripping at your waist, “Too focused to think about me because you were with him?”

”Ever lead him to this very bed just like how you did to me?” You eagerly shook your head no, your mouth opening to respond but choked up when he continued to speak, “Or were you always too busy thinking about me?” Freezing at the last question, he smirked at your reaction

The familiar plush of his lips gathered at your skin as he peckered at the unblemished skin, the emptiness nearly sank his heart—seeing what he has missed these past months, “You’re just as beautiful as the day I left you”

Your hazy mind cleared instantly as eyes shot up to see him already looking back. Lips parting softly, letting out the shiver before leaning in to meet halfway of his leaning figure.

A hum rubbles out as you swallow it into your mouth. The gripping hand at your waist loosened before rubbing up and down your side as he engulfed your mind with him. Instead of a strong and needful kiss, it was endearing and in fact loving.

Squishing your hands in between your bodies, you cup at his jaw, tracing over the outline of it. The soft grumbles got lost in the silence as he rested his arms at each side of your head, lightly acknowledging on how you shifted, your legs prying open on their own to invite him to slot in between.

However, he pulled away with a shake of his head. Eyes fluttering open to see the deep stare into one another. “No…” Breathlessly he spoke gulping down the air that filled his lungs, “Show me that you want me”

”Prove that it’s always been me” He pleaded, true undertone now fully blaring into your ears creeping into your mind until you focused and registered

Your heart hammered at your chest that you were sure he could hear it as a faint smirk ghosted his face. Instead of properly responding, your body moved on its own.

Actions speaking louder than any word that could be uttered.

Grasping his shoulders before landing him onto his back, the soft pillowing holding his head, lifting yourself off to the side, he watched you. The shaky hands grabbing to his pants, your eyes looking at him for permission. “Go on” He nodded at you

Without having to be told twice, your hands traced over his belt, the touch of the frame metal before unbuckling it, eyes remaining trained at the unbuttoned trousers while your hands slid down the zipper. Prying open the material, seeing his boxers peeking out but shifted on how his hips lifted to help drag down his pants.

Pulling down the material watching him kick it somewhere to your floor as you mimicked his actions. Your hands worked with yours until you pulled off your own pants, letting them land wherever they did on the floor as well. His hands reached out for you, tugging you towards him.

Allowing your body to be guided, you straddled his lap focusing on the roaming hands on you that pulled you intoxicatingly into a mist that surrounded the two of you until he grabbed your nape and pulled your head down.

A hand on your hips while the other allowed it’s finger to trace circle on your neck, enjoying the way you tilted your head to deepened to kiss further, “I’ve missed you” He weakly mutters in between kisses

“I know… I did too” You hummed, your hips rocking with the help of his hand

Groaning softly at the friction. The sensation of your clothed core rubbing against his hard on made him dizzy. The only thing that stopped him from entering you was the thin fabric of your undergarments. Your head landed in the crook of his neck, the crevice in between, allowing you to messily press your lips on. “Never asked how you were” You mumbled against his skin

Too engrossed in the way, the damp forming not only in his but on your underwear was nearly unbearable to ignore. Bottom lip jutted out, enjoying the long strides you took rubbing yourself on him, “How were you Hoonie?”

The mention of the name he hasn’t heard of washed any initial thought away as he tilted his head to the side just enough. Your pulled away head now looked at him with glistening eyes. He was sure he copied your look—possibly looked even worse than how you did.

Instead of shying away, he smiled softly. “I think you can imagine I was. You already heard only a quarter of what I was doing without you”

“But you cleaned up nicely…”

“I had to. I was seeing you again after all this time” The words struck the string that held your heart up

And still, it was pointless when another planted drag of a kiss was planted. Your eyes fluttering close instantly as the rock of your lower body restarted with a feverish motive.

“I need to feel you princess- I can’t go on like this anymore” The pitiful way he sounded as you determined the beginning, “Need you to prove your words, just how much did you miss me?”

With an unexpected haste, lifting your hips just enough for his fingers to wrap around the side of your parties, “Please Hoonie” You slowly murmur as he dragged them, your glistening entrance coming back into his view

The slinging of them hanging from your leg before you fully peeled them off, Sunghoon’s eyes remained trained of the flesh he had been denied for months, patiently waiting for the day until you found your way back to him.

You palmed through the evident erection building up to his full size as his head leaned back, forgetting the way your hands felt on him. “Don’t be a tease either” Tone low like a growl being held back

You giggled at it, having your hands grip at his boxers tugging at the fabric until he began to separate from his body, the imprint of his length clinging onto the material waiting to spring out. In all its glory, his leaking self slapped against his body was a splat.

Crinkling your face for a second while a smile formed on it, pulling away at the material until you allowed his feet to kick them off.

Seeing him like this again made your chest tighten before hallowing into itself. The months leading up to this moment didn’t compare to the lifetime you bore without him in but even still, you leaned in molding your mouth onto his without a word.

Sunghoon easily accepted his kiss, the dip of your bed shifting as he could feel the heat radiating off your body and hovering over him. His eyes screwed tighter together, not allowing himself to wake from this dream.

However, the contact of you landing on him, he hisses against your lips as you let go of them with a shaky breath. The soak essentially seeped on his own length, covering himself with your essence. But, it wasn’t enough—it would never be enough.

His hand threaded down, grabbing the base of his cock before aligning it with your entrance by the time you sank down to rub down, the tip of it teased in making you clench and hiss at the intrusion. “Shit” He called out as he eased into your warmth

“I’ve missed you so much” He gritted through his teeth, relishing in the way your walls spasmed taking in the inches he was putting into you, “You don’t have any idea”

You weakly shook your head, your body toppling over his as your arms snaked near his head, “Yo-you don’t have any idea” Rebutting his statement—deeming it untrue only caused his heart to flutter harsher in his chest

The palpitations grew worse once he bottomed out. You shivered on top of him as his hand glided on your back, “Doing so good for me princess, I’m right here with you”

How could you deny it? Well easy, you couldn’t.

Your body faltered in a rock focusing on how he stretched you out, how easily he slipped into you like no time had passed. Sunghoon murmured into the shell of your ear causing the goosebumps to rise, “Fuck yourself on me baby”

Your eyes clamped down moving your hips with a little more force, you bit your lips to hold back the noise daring to sleep but Sunghoon’s nails gripped at your skin, “Don’t deprive me- Let me hear you” He groaned at how you clenched accepting him

“Good girl” His whispered into your ear as he planted wet kisses onto the side of your face, his arms wrapping around you as his body and yours melt into one

Moving your head to land his lips onto yours as you continued to push his length out of you before pulling it back in with the suck of your cunt, fluids slipping from your mouth as you messily kissed at each other. Mouth hanging open taking in the breaths poured into each other’s before reconnecting together.

Pulling at your bottom lip, he remained still under you while you moved your body up and down his erection, memorizing his tip pressing and poking at your insides, the past burn reviving from the depths of your brain where it was stored away, “Sucking me so good. Like you’ve been waiting for this” He chuckled in between breaths

You nodded your head at the words, “I have” You brokenly whined out

“Were you saving yourself for me? Until I came back to you and gave you what you wanted, mhm?” You could feel the smirk radiating off of him making you bury your head into the space between his neck and shoulder

“Knew that I was the only one that could give you what you wanted” The rumbled of his words laid heavy on your heart, “Keep going for me” His hands grabbed at your lower half, squishing the flesh in his hand, helping your weakened movements

You lifted your head up, resting your forehead with his as you weakly chuckled. Eyes bored into each other, reflecting the same depth and glint that could never be replaced or fizzled out regardless of the time passed. The base of your ass meeting his pelvis with growing harder thrust had you squealing, but he continued to fuck up into you.

Body shaking with thrust he sent, he was set on perfecting the mold of him inside of you—yet, it didn’t take much effort. You had already done that for him.

“Hoonie” You called out for him as he found a pace that pistoned himself deeper into you, loving how you shaped around the stretch he provided

Each thrust was calculated and thought through. Focusing how to press deeper into the warmth you provided. Dragging himself leaving his tip at the clenching hole making you wail a broken whine before gasping when he slammed back in. You tried to match the pace on your own however, Sunghoon ran a hand over your back.

“I got you princess. Let me take care of you” He hummed into the shell of your ear and without being told again you let your body rest onto his front

His fingers digging into the flesh of your bum, spreading it to the side focusing on the slipping of his cock inside of you. His grunts grow louder at the sound of obscenity filling your room—an emotion taking over him.

Clouded judgment, solemnly focusing on your clenching self, his tips peeking into your cervix that made you moan directly into his ear as he repeatedly hit at it. The grind of your body rocking with his as your swollen bud jumped at the edge, with the delicate ramming inside of you, fingers dug into his shoulder.

“I’m going to-” Sunghoon immediately hushed in your ear holding you closer to him

“Let go for me baby… Come for me”

Simple words leading to your body responding, your hole clenching harder around his shaft that his movements faltered from the previous calculations. Focusing at how your breathlessly moans and shivers landed for his ear to hear, unable to let you go, his arm flushed you even more into him if possible.

Low groans filling your ears as his thrust became sloppy, the fluid leaking out of your soaping entrance coating him over with it, nearly causing him to slip out before he eased back into the confinement you provided for him

“Kiss me” The feel of his hand softly trailing at your neck, feeling the bareness of it making a frown plaster onto his face, “Kiss me right now” He pulled your head up to face him

Tears brimmed over your eyes, rimming around daring to spill but not wanting to test him any further. Holding back what has been bubbling within you, all frustration pouring out. You smashed your lips onto his.

His working body continued as he pressed at your head to flushes your lips even harder onto his. Your eyes screwed shut, the brinks of your tears falling onto his cheek and glided down to his chin but he gulped down every noise you made.

Holding tightly onto him as weakly breathed through your nose until you sucked in a shiver as your body jolted up with the harsh slow thrust. Sunghoon could feel your walls tightening around him as he parted for you to hear your muffled moans loud and clear.

Resting your forehead harshly onto his as you pant with the occasional hissed when the slowed down picked up in slight pressure before one final press deep inside of you as he stilled his movements and the warmth engulfed your insides, painting them white of you.

The feel of his cum seeping into your velvet walls as he remained in you. Your body instinctively gripping him to suck in any and all that seeped out of him. His low groans mix with your breathless pants as the two collect air to fill your lungs. The moment was short lived as you bursted into a fit of pitiful giggles as he followed in tail with your actions.

”Such a good girl for taking everything”

“I hate you” You shook your head at the tease but your tone was light and feathery as you adjusted yourself quietly mumbling more under your breath which didn’t go unnoticed by him

As you shifted in place, weakly laying on his chest as you felt your body melt down into his as he hugged you, his head rested on top of yours. The soft rubs over your arms as he holds your shivering body. Remaining having his cock buried in you, plugging his cum from seeping out, he smiled—a real genuine smile. “I’m sure you do”

“But I could never hate you” You closed your eyes with a heavy pant listening to his words

“Never?” You meek out feeling the shake of his head from you but to his displeasure he heard you heavily sigh, feeling you rub your cheek against his body

Unaware to him a tug of your lips pulled it towards, “Are you mad- I mean were you ever mad at me?”

The question hung in the air for a moment, the only thing filling your room being the soft breaths leaving you. Your ear pressed against his chest that you could hear the rapid pulse beating faster. Worried seemed to gnaw at your stomach as your eyes frantically moved around and just as you were going to push yourself up from him.

Sunghoon stopped you before you could, his chin digging on top of your head as his grip around you tightened. The pump of his heart filled your ear again as you could hear the vibration of his voice coming out

“Never. You’re my girl”

Your face immediately responds as you smile softly, a breath you didn’t know you were holding let out. Aware that Sunghoon could feel the harsh thump beating out of your chest but you didn’t care.

You hum in response, not any more words necessarily for the moment. Your mind and body clicking into the fog of your head the tiredness evident in your voice as he softly chuckled, the burn of his finger tips scarcely touching your skin leaving fire in its wake as he pressed a kiss onto your head

“You can rest now… I’m not leaving your side ever again”

ᥫ᭡.

The soft chirps of the birds muffled from the outside, the blinding lights shining in as you and Sunghoon face each other with a warm smile. He leaned forward but you jerked away before he could land his kiss.

His dark chuckled made your own smile grow, but he smiled inching closer to you before blowing air against your neck. You jerked away and scowled as you tried to swat him away but stopped when he placed a soft peck on your skin, “I’m going to shower, care to join me?”

“And waste my water? You’re funny” You laughed before shaking your head

He smirked before running a hand over your arm, the glint of his eyes never leaving as he looked at you, “I’ll behave”

“You promise?” You looked at him in the corner of your eyes with a raised brow

Now here with Sunghoon, no thoughts were in your head besides who was in front of you. You’ve decided, long ago—from the very beginning. Stepping a foot closer to Sunghoon, your hand pushing his opening arms as you landed straight into his arms wrapping around you as you placed your lips on his.

He sheepishly smirked, “I promise to be quick” Swiftly after his light words, he let go of you before disappearing into the hall

You bit back a smile as you watched his fading figure away. Your fingers ran over your lip before your smile grew brighter, reaching your eyes.

There was a point, a line that blurred what you and Sunghoon were. Yet, you were far past the line of the beginning, middle of what this was. No longer looking back, dwelling on things out of your control, you’ve chosen, finalizing your decision—disregarding what is considered right or wrong.

Wondering why you should wait any longer before making you and Sunghoon one—they way you knew it meant to be. You were beyond the point of return.

Biting back the growing smile, you were going to move back to your room to wait for his return but stopped upon hearing a glide of paper. The sound of water running from your shower nearly drowned it out before you could notice it. You turned around to see an envelope laying on the floor.

Brows furrowed as you stepped towards and softly picked up the unaddressed envelope. Your lips tugged down, turning it around and ripping the seal before picking out the folded paper within. Your eyes immediately skimmed through the handwritten letter before properly reading it

‘to my dearest,

You were the first (only) person I have felt ever something like this for. Of course, I know how I did everything wrong but I wanted you to Understand what I was doing after all this waiting and wondering.

But I know it doesn’t make myself look any better but love is just Elegant, warm and almost as beautiful as you. it should come from Longing—yearning, that’s what love is-true love. I wanted to be the One to show you that but instead I made it worse. I know that now Nothing in this damn world can show even the sliver of just how Grateful I am for even being given the chance to prove myself to you.

While it seems like you might have made your choice, please consider It to your best interest to take a step back and look at everything. from The very beginning to now—to evaluate everything and move past. Heaven knows I won't give up, not when I know what it’s like.

More than ever, I finally realize what I want in my life and through Everything I don't regret anything in the slightest. I would do it again.

String me along, break my heart if you want. it’s always been yours to Enjoy and destroy. you’ll forever be smeared in my soul and i know Everything we’ve been through, part of you saw what it be like.

You realized love doesn’t have to be what you experienced it as, Occasionally yes it can be diabolical but it doesn’t always mean Undergoing the terror lies, we can make it however you want it.

Sometimes looking back on us I wonder if I was just crazy for thinking Of there being something between us but given the chance to Observe and see everything between us I know there was more. Never in a billion years would I want to give you false hope.

Believe me, I would do anything in this world to prove that you. Anyone can go against me and say otherwise but I know it that it Begs for the thrill of being even near you. Not sure of the pure Yearning it has because now I am forever ruined by you.

sincerely yours,

p.js

p.s- reread the letter and look at the first letter of each line’

The P followed by the J and lastly the S. Park Jongseong. As your eyes followed through the last sentence written, nitpicking every sentence and the first letter they had.

Your eyes grew wider each second as all being felt personally sucked and drained out when you looked back to read the postscript written at the bottom of the paper–followed by a heavy shaky breath as three words stood out more than anything in the letter.

‘See you soon’

——

You belong to me (previous) — Wicked games (next)

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[dreamauri]

♪ — 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗜’𝗩𝗘 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗪𝗔𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗗 lando norris x  fem! reader (angst) fic summary . . . Lando's playboy image has everyone, including yourself, convinced he's just another guy who sleeps around, until he finally opens up about his feelings that is (482 words)

( my master list | more of lando norris ) ( requests )

There was a sharp edge to your voice tonight. Lando had heard you angry before, but never like this. Never when it was aimed at him.

“You know what, Lando?” you snapped, arms crossed as you stood in his hotel room. “Why don’t you go find some random girl and fuck your feelings out like you always do?”

Lando flinched like you’d struck him.

You didn’t even see it. Or maybe you did, but you didn’t care—not in the heat of the moment. Not when he’d been pissing you off all night, poking at you, pushing, teasing like always, but this time it was different. This time it hurt, and you didn’t even know why.

Lando let out a short laugh, but there was nothing funny about it. “Is that really what you think of me?”

You scoffed. “Everyone knows, Lando. It’s not exactly a secret.”

Everyone. Social media. The paddock. The world.

Everyone had an opinion about him. About the playboy image, about the girls, about the headlines. He knew what people said. Knew what they thought.

But he never thought you believed it.

Lando exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. His voice was quieter now, strained. “You really think I just sleep around with random girls?”

You shrugged, still defensive. “I mean… yeah?”

And fuck—something inside him cracked.

His hands clenched into fists at his sides, his whole body taut like a string pulled too tight. His throat was burning, his heart was pounding, and suddenly, the words he’d been burying for years clawed their way up his throat.

“I don’t.”

Your brows furrowed. “What?”

“I don’t sleep around,” Lando bit out. His voice shook, but he didn’t stop. Couldn’t stop. “Because the only girl I have ever wanted is you.”

The air in the room changed.

You blinked, lips parting slightly, but no words came out.

Lando let out a breath, shaking his head. “God, do you have any idea what it’s like?” His voice wavered now, and fuck, his eyes were stinging. “To be so fucking in love with you that it hurts?”

He laughed bitterly, swiping at his face. “I can’t even look at another girl because no one—no one—could ever compare to you. And yet, here you are, shouting at me, looking at me like I’m some kind of—some kind of fucking stranger.”

You still weren’t saying anything.

“Jesus, Yn,” Lando whispered, voice thick with emotion. “You’re tearing me apart.”

His chest felt tight, too tight, like his ribs couldn’t contain everything inside him anymore. Like it was all breaking apart and you were just standing there, watching him bleed.

Silence stretched between you, thick and suffocating.

And then, finally, your lips parted, your voice barely above a whisper.

“…You love me?”

Lando huffed out a breath, looking away as a tear slipped down his cheek. “I don’t know how to do anything else.”

“Just—just forget it,” he mumbled. “I’ll go.”

And then he turned, chest tight, hands trembling—because if he stayed, if he looked at you for even a second longer, he was pretty sure his heart would never recover.

[0xstarzx0]

NDA: Sleeping with Rafe was easy until you caught feelings. Unfortunately, you were married with kids, but let’s be honest, that was never going to stop the great Rafe Cameron.

+18

People would never understand.

William was a good man—wealthy, kind, affectionate. He had given you beautiful children, cherished you, loved you in every way a husband was supposed to.

So why did you cheat on him?

William was gentle, patient, and attentive, but you weren’t in love with him. The only reason you stayed was for your children, to give them the stability of a present, devoted father.

The first time you and Rafe slept together, it was a mistake. A drunken night that spiraled into something reckless, something forbidden.

It just happened.

You weren’t happy—not romantically, not sexually, not truly—and Rafe was the only man who made you feel like more than just a wife, more than just a mother. With him, you felt alive.

Yet, you had sworn to yourself that it wouldn’t happen again.

And now, here you were, standing in his dimly lit living room at 9 PM. Just the two of you.

“Rafe, I don’t want this anymore.”

He turned to face you, eyebrows knitting together as he poured himself a glass of whiskey.

“Did I miss something?” he asked, his voice calm, indifferent, like this conversation was nothing more than a minor inconvenience.

You stepped in front of him, refusing to be intimidated by his height, by his presence.

“I love my husband. I love my kids. I have everything I could ever want,” you argued, trying to convince him—trying to convince yourself.

Rafe took a slow sip of his drink, eyes locked on you, unreadable. Then, he simply nodded.

“Alright.”

That was it. No fight, no plea. Just alright.

Your heart skipped a beat. That wasn’t what you expected. You had prepared for an argument, for persuasion, for the inevitable temptation. But not this.

“Okay,” you whispered, grabbing your things.

And then, just as you turned, he caught your wrist. Before you could react, his lips brushed against yours—just for a second. A mere ghost of a kiss.

You froze.

He pulled away, waiting. Watching.

And then, before you could think, before you could stop yourself—you crashed into him.

Rafe manages to stabilize you in a few seconds, his lips moving desperately against yours, damn it, is this what they call "love"?

He buries his head in your neck and you moan, his hands gripping your ass tightly, his breathing heavy against your neck.

"You're going to leave your husband and come spend the rest of your days with me." He carries you to his sofa and pushes you against it, you pull him in by tugging on the collar of his shirt.

"And you know why you'll do it?" He tears your tights, eliciting a loud moan from you. "Because you're completely crazy about me."

"Go to hell Rafe!" You moan, he laughs and pulls your panties to the side without warning, he thrusts deep inside you. You feel your body shake with pleasure. He curses under his breath as he pulls your legs over his shoulders, deepening the angle. "Say it," he growls, his hands digging into your thighs. "Say you'll leave him." You whimper, your nails clawing at his back. "N-no,"

He pushes harder, your pussy feeling so good around him—it's better than it was with William. "Fuck, you're so tight," he grunts, his balls slapping against your ass with each thrust. You gasp, your head tossing side to side on the sofa.

He leans down, his teeth grazing your neck. "You're so fuck up f’me, whether you admit it or not," he hisses. "Your body knows it, even if your heart doesn't." His fingers find your clit, circling it firmly. "Come on, baby. Give in."

Tears stream down your face from overwhelming pleasure as Rafe chuckles. He laughs because he knows that William has never had you like this—completely at his mercy, your body surrendering utterly. 

"That's it, sweetheart," Rafe purrs, feeling your pussy clench tightly around him.

"God!.." he groans, his pace quickening. "You make me lose control." He swallows hard, then asks darkly, "Are you on the pill?" You freeze beneath him. " Answer me," he growls, "Before I put a baby in you."

you bite your lip hard and scratch his back.

"Say it," he demands, his hands gripping your hips possessively. "Say you don't care if I knock you up right now." He pulls out slightly, teasing his tip at your entrance. "Say it, and I'll do it."

"I don't care if you put a baby in me Rafe Cameron. I just want you to do it." You look Rafe straight in the eyes, there's no ounce of doubt or hesitation, only love, love that has been repressed for far too long.

His eyes darken dangerously at your words, raw emotion flashing across his face. "Fuck," he mutters, then drives into you hard and deep, each thrust deliberate. "You realize what you're saying? That you want..." He breaks off, his voice becoming thick. "My baby."

"Say it again," he demands roughly, his body shaking above you. "That you'll carry my baby, that you'll be the mother of my children." He pants, his face contorted with emotion.

You remove your legs from his shoulders and cradle his face in your soft hands. "I'll be the mother of your children." You smile, your eyes starting to fill with tears. "I'll be the mother of your children." Rafe laughs, a hint of sincerity, and kisses you deeply.

For the first time in his life, Rafe felt like he had found the right one—and he had no intention of ruining it.

[kxtsukixoxo]

we should just get drunk and fuck

✮⋆˙ ft. keigo “hawks” takami

“rough day at work?”

he asked as he nursed the alcohol bottle in his hands.

“am i not allowed to drink for no reason?” you quirked an eyebrow at him, breaking your gaze from the TV. he shrugged and focused his attention back onto the tv.

“forgive me for trying to provide emotional support,” he faked a huff and rolled his eyes. you peered at him through the side of your vision. his annoyed look didn’t stay for long, soon enough a smile was back on his face.

“fine. I'm just annoyed today.” you admitted, pulling your legs up onto the couch and resting your chin on top of your knees.

“what, did your boyfriend not text you good morning?” he leaned in and laughed, nudging you with his elbow.

“kei, we broke up a month and a half ago. did I not tell you?” you grabbed the bottle from his extended hand and took another swig. His eyebrows knit together, aureate eyes staring down at you and processing your words.

“no. why didn’t you tell me? i could’ve beat him up or something.” He crossed his arms over his chest and pursed his lips together. His wings puffed behind him.

“Because I was the one who broke up with him. and it’s not like he cheated or anything.” you shrugged, pushing the bottle towards him. he stared down at the bottle in his hand and slowly trailed his eyes up toward your face.

“so what…happened?” he shifted his body to face you, arm thrown over the back of the couch. he was staring intently at you, golden gaze burning through your skin.

“i don’t know. just lost feelings I guess.”

the two of you sat in silence. keigo's eyes danced across your face, teeth biting down on his lower lip. you could feel your cheeks heating up, and not because of the alcohol this time. he reached over, setting the bottle on the coffee table. his unoccupied hand hesitantly made its way to yours. fingers wrapping around your own.

you were conflicted. scared that if you crossed that line I’d lose him. the man who’s been by your side for years now. yet at the same time, it felt right. the countless nights you’d fallen asleep beside him, the times he’d patched you up after fights. you glanced up at him, his eyes were flicking back and forth from your eyes, to your lips, and back up again. he leaned in, lips brushing against yours. you jerked your body away, hands pushing at his chest. a look of horror rose upon his face, eyes widening.

“i’m sorry…I thought you were into me,” his face flushed, a dusty rose brimming his cheeks.

“i-i,” your brows knitted as you searched for words. “it’s okay. I'm just-” his eyes settled on yours. you stayed silent, your lips parted as if you were about to speak.

“are you?” he cocked an eyebrow at you, egging you on.

“yes!” The word rushed out of your mouth. “but-” his gaze was still fixed on you, unrelenting. “i don’t know,” you sighed. keigo and you sat in a pungent silence. your teeth gritted as your mind blanked.

“for how long?”

There wasn’t even a single doubt about it. from the second you’d  met him you’d had these feelings, the time you’d spent together only made them blossom.

“since we met.” your words were muffled by your sweatpants, head now buried in the fabric.

“why…” he stopped. you peered at him from out of the corner of your eyes. he was chewing on his lip, eyes darting around the room. “why haven’t we…” his words drawled on as if the end of his sentence would never come.

“i like having you in my life and I don’t want to fuck it up.” you sat up, legs dropping off of the couch.

“you’re not going to fuck it up, what is there to fuck up?” his words hit you. you didn’t have an answer, you didn’t even know if there was one. “nothing.”

“kei,” you started, not knowing what there was to say. you felt your heart fluttering as you looked up at him. “kiss me?”

he leaned in, hand coming up to cup your cheek. he paused for a moment, looking you in the eyes before dipping down to press his lips to yours. It was soft and warm, the two of you moved in sync. his warm breath tickled your face with every exhale. you wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, pulling him closer. his tongue brushed against your bottom lip, edging you toward opening your mouth. you complied. his tongue slithered into your mouth, colliding with your own, moving against the rhythm of his lips. his hand moved to squeeze your hip, thumb pushing at the hem of your shirt. you pulled back to catch your breath. your chest heaved as you struggled to bring in air. a small strand of saliva hung between keigos and your lips, breaking as keigo dipped his head down again, this time his lips began trailing up your neck.

it started out as soft, then slowly shifting to harsh bites and nips at your skin. soon enough he was sucking dark marks into your skin. you squirmed in his hold as he worked away, marking the skin of my neck. your fingers carded through the blonde trusses on his head, tugging gently as he worked. But he pulled away, breaking from your grasp. he worked the fabric of his shirt over his head,working his shirt over the maroon feathers on his back. He tossed the shirt to the side before grabbing onto your knees and pulling your body further down the couch. he was hovering over you, the once bright gold of his iris turned into small hints of medallion tracing along his blown out pupils. he pushed your knees to the side, making room for his hips.

“is this okay?” he asked, pressing a kiss to your knee. you nodded, biting down on your lip as you watched him lean down. his lips met yours again, the kiss much more hasty and needy than before. his hands began sliding under your shirt, cold fingers pricking your warm skin as the digits pushed higher and higher, stopping around the band of your bra. you pulled your shirt over your head, letting it drop behind you. he pushed the band of your bra over your tits, hands pawing at your nipples. he leaned in, wrapping his lips around one of your nipples, teeth gently grazing the skin as he sucked and licked. you let out a sigh as his hand roughly tweaked the skin. his hips ground into yours, even through the fabric of his jeans you could feel his stiffening cock.

you whimpered as he pulled back with a loud pop. you grabbed onto his belt, undoing it and pulling it through the loops of his pants. he fiddled with the button of his jeans, wasting no time discarding them among the growing pile of clothes. his hands gripped onto your sweatpants, tugging them down your hips. you shifted your weight to help him ease the fabric off. soon he was back between your legs, grinding against you. you could feel heat pooling in your core. his lips attacked your neck. bruises sprouting from your skin as his lips drew higher.

“i can feel how wet you are,” he gently bit down on your earlobe. you felt yourself clenching around nothing. he slid his hands between the both of your bodies, cupping your cunt. he groaned as his fingers slid up and down your clothed core.

“stop teasing,” you whimpered, covering your mouth with your hand.

“as you wish.” he chuckled, pulling your underwear down your legs. you hissed at the feeling of the cold air hitting your exposed skin. keigo began trailing his lips down your neck stopping to suck on your nipples once more before lowering even further. he bit into the skin on your hip, earning a soft moan from you. he gripped your legs and threw them over his shoulders, diving in. his tongue flicked your clit. your back arched, hands coming to tug at his hair. he groaned, the vibrations causing you to curse as you bucked your hips into his face.

two fingers circled around your entrance before slowly diving in and slipping back out. his lips closed around your clit, and he began harshly sucking as he penetrated you once more with his fingers. you moaned, eyes rolling to the back of your head. he started a steady pace, fingers curling up as he thrusted. your toes curled and the muscles in your abdomen began to squeeze. a stream of moans fell from your lips. with a loud pop he pulled off and returned to flicking your clit. you body jolted, hips moving away from the stimulation. he threw an arm around your stomach, pinning you down.

“fuck! fuck!fuck!fuck!” you moaned, rocking your hips against his face. he thrusted his fingers faster, mouth moving away to bite down on your inner thigh. you cried out, thighs shaking as you neared your peak. and then his tongue was back on you, flicking incessantly at your clit, pushing you over the edge. your back arched off of the couch, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you came. your muscles lost tone and fell limp. you collapsed back onto the couch, chest rising and falling as you panted. your vision began to focus, your eyes darting to the blonde between your leg. he was pressing kisses to your thighs and soothing over the bite he left.

“lemme suck you off,” you slurred out through your labored breathing.

“if i don’t get inside you right now I’ll bust,” he pulled his boxers over his hips, cock springing free. pre cum already dripping from the tip.

“let me ride you,” you spoke, more coherent this time. He bit his lip and eyed you down.

“can’t say no to that,” he laid himself down against the arm of the couch and gestured toward himself. He settled his wings behind himself, crimson feathers splayed across the couch like a blanket. you moved to sit in his lap, pressing your lips to him. his fingers ran through my hair as he kissed back, his other hand squeezing my thighs. you pulled back, lifting your hips up and guiding his cock into you. he groaned as you slowly sunk yourself down into him, hands gripping your hips. you bit down on your lip as you gave yourself time to adjust to him. he pressed kisses along your neck, whispering praises into your skin.

you pulled out before slamming yourself back down onto him, starting up a steady rhythm. he cried out, fingers digging into you as you rode him. you called his name over and over until it was a jumbled mess, eyes fixated on his face. his eyes were screwed shut and a deep blush washed over his face. you settled my hands on his chest as leverage to fuck yourself harder onto him, unable to stop the cacophony of moans crawling out of your chest. his thumb brushed against your clit, causing your body to arch.

keigo was quick to pick up the lost rhythm, bending his knees to thrust up into you. you fell forwards against his chest, turning into a moaning mess as he continued his bruising pace on you.

“you like that?” He moaned, fucking up hard into you. you nodded, or tried to. your body had become consumed by pleasure, limbs becoming heavy as you lost yourself. you kissed his neck and cupped my hand over his cheek. your teeth clamped down gently onto his skin before pulling back and soothing over the bite with kisses.

“fuck, I’m gonna cum so hard,” he groaned. you whimpered, gripping onto his arm.

“In me,” you said next to his ear. he moaned and began using his hands to slam your hips down against his own rhythm. your body bounced against him, your insides tightening as you neared your peak.

“fuck, you’re so good,” his lips moved to kiss any bit of skin he could get his hands on. your toes curled and your muscles began to squeeze harder. you cried out his name, clamping down around him as you came, biting down on his shoulder. he groaned, hips stuttering as he spilled inside of you. he thrusted into you, riding out his orgasm before stilling. he let go of your hips and pulled you close, kissing your cheek.

“was that okay?” he asked, stroking your hair.

“you were amazing,” you grinned, nuzzling into the warmth of his neck.

“no I mean, was it okay that we did that?” He gripped your chin, pulling you back to look at him. he looked worried, lips formed into a thin line. but your only thoughts were how you wanted to lie with him forever.

“yeah. i really enjoyed it.” you pressed a kiss to his lips. his lips curled into a smile as he pulled you closer.

“i guess that means i gotta take you out to dinner then.” he chuckled. you could feel the rumble of his chest against yours.

“a little backwards but I’ll take it.”

[finelinevogue]

lucky to have you

summary - you and harry raise a glass on an italian beach to celebrate his birthday

word count - >1k

pairing - harry styles x wife!reader

“To 31!”

You cheered your plastic cup, filled with beer, with Harry’s.

“And to many more.” Harry added, before you both swung back your beers.

Both of you were on the little beach you’d discovered in the years you had been coming back to Italy. It was a small beach, more like an alcove, but it felt like yours. No one had ever turned up when you’d visited and that’s what made it feel private.

You were sat cross legged on your beach towel and Harry was laid on his side, propped up by his arm, on his.

He looked a dream at 31.

You wrapped his cardigan around you a bit tighter as another breeze came across you both.

Harry put down his cup of beer and reached for another piece of cheese from the picnic.

It was only a small spread, but you’d wanted to create something fun and intimate to celebrate his birthday and a picnic was the perfect idea for it. There was cheese cubes, salami for you, a loaf of fresh bread and a selection of fruits for dessert.

Harry popped the slice of cheese in his mouth and you watched him whilst drinking more of your beer.

“What?” He asked whilst chewing.

“Ew. Eat with your mouth closed.” You giggled.

Harry rolled his eyes but he did have better manners than that, so he waited until he was finished before asking again.

“What are you looking at?”

“You.” You smiled.

“Me?”

You laughed at his ignorance. He really had no clue how good he looked it was infuriating. It was often a losing battle when you were out because everyone looked at him. Yet, he only ever looked at you.

You nodded with a dazed smile.

“You’re too handsome.”

Harry chuckled, tilting his head down to hide his blush. Even after all these years you could still cause him to flush over a silly comment.

“You’re so annoying.” He chuckled.

“Why?”

“You always know what to say to make me blush. Makes me feel like a high school teenager with a crush all over again.” He admitted, looking back at you so you could see the sincerity in his eyes.

“You know? My high school crush ditched me on valentine’s day.”

“What?”

“Yeah. Supposedly was going to meet him at this local cafe for a coffee and then we were going to watch a movie, but he ditched last minute. He said something had come up.” You shook your head.

Harry tutted, glad that guys like that didn’t get to mistreat you anymore. He would never even question doing something like that to you.

He loved you too much.

“Well I don’t plan on ditching you this valentine’s day.”

“And that’s why I married you.” You made a pleased noise to yourself.

You had definitely married the right guy. There was no question about that. It wasn’t even a case of Harry being perfect, because he wasn’t always, but it’s just that he was perfect for you.

The way your similarities, dislikes and general personalities mesh together was just perfect. That’s why there was constantly so much love and affection between you too. There was so much of you within each other and it felt so natural to be together as a result of that.

“What should we do this year?” You asked, wiggling your toes into the sand.

“For valentines day?”

“Mhm.”

“What do you want to do? I’ll take you anywhere but that horrible restaurant we went to last year.” Harry laughed, taking a sip of his beer.

“Please. Never again.” You chuckled with him.

Both of you went quiet as you thought through various options.

“What if we stayed here?” You asked, bringing your knees up to your chest so you could rest a cheek on one of them. You looked at him hopefully.

“Exactly here? Or somewhere else in Italy?” Harry asked as he sat up.

“Right here. I like it here.”

“I know you do.” He smiled.

He knew you were thinking back to when he proposed to you right here on this very beach - hence why you had such a strong attachment to it. That’s why you pretended it was your private beach.

“So… Can we?”

“‘Course.” He nodded. “C’mere.”

You didn’t need to be told twice before you raced to sit on top of him straddling his waist as both of you sat up straight.

Harry’s hands tucked neatly around your back and held you tight against him, whilst yours winded up around his neck and messed with the growing hair there.

“Love you.” You whispered.

“Love you too.” He smiled a little, small, smile. One that you craved too much to leave alone which is why you leant in to kiss him.

His lips were soft from the warm weather. You pressed yourself into him as he took control of the kiss, leaning forwards when he leant back a bit. Neither of you minded how messy and awkward the kiss was, it was nice to just be like this in the open.

You tugged on his hair as he bit your lip, making you gasp and rock your body forwards slightly. His hands gripped your hips to keep you steady.

Harry broke away from you first, kissing you a couple times extra before moving his head a distance away from yours.

You pouted as he left you.

“Don’t give me that.” He chuckled at your pout, eyes not being able to choose between looking at your lips or eyes.

“But…”

“It’s my birthday.” He argued.

You rolled your eyes with a smile, feeling ridiculously lucky to be loved by him.

[chrattho1]

bsf!chris x reader

backfired.

summary: just one of your car rides with chris,where you get to know something interesting yet heartbreaking about him.

warnings: none its just interactions between two friends ig

a/n: ill keep making such blurbs and texts’ until they get together guys trust🙏 also this is inspired by yesterday’s video!!!

more of this au here

you are in the passenger seat of the car that is more familiar to you than your own. the scent of weed mixed with chris’ cologne smells like everyday to you,music playing in the background,chris bobbing his head to the beat as his eyes stay focused on the road.

chris looks away from the road for a split second-just to glance at you looking at him.

its been a couple of weeks since you broke up with your ex,and chris has been there for you this entire time,getting you food in bed when you dont feel like getting up,staying over,helping you out in any way that he can-your admiration for him grew everytime he helped you out.

right now,nobody is talking in the car,but this is what you love about your friendship with chris-you can sit there in silence and just think without worrying if it will get awkward. well unless he says something stupid and breaks the silence.

you loved that about him,so much- he says everything that comes to his mind,he vocalises his thoughts to you and that makes you feel safe.

he parks at a corner,pulls the mc donalds bags’ ahead from the back seat.

“here are your fries-and your nuggets” he talks mimicking how a parent would talk to a child,you chuckle.

“what if the nugget you eat just exploded in your tummy like-boom” chris says and immediately starts cackling,you laugh with him,your head falling back and your eyes shut.

“shut up bro im fucking crying” you said wiping a tear that was developed out of laughter.

chris nods still chuckling,taking a bite out of his burger, his eyes turn to you as he smiles with his mouth full.

“how many people have you been in love with?” he asks out of nowhere,catching you off guard

“this is so random” you chuckle chewing at your fries.

“just tell me” chris groans acting annoyed

“i have definitely told you this before” you said taking a sip out of his sweet tea.

“no you haven’t” he shakes his head.

“you think we haven’t talked about this before? be for real chris” your eyes narrow,not believing that you two-probably the only two people in this world who have discussed all topics from the most random to the deepest,in detail for hours-haven’t talked about this.

“on my life-i dont know the answer to this question,why do you think i asked” he shruggs

“i think just the one time-remember i told you about the guy i grew up with back home?”you remind him

“yeah yeah him-how long do you think you were in love with him?" he asks another question.

“well lets see..” you start counting years on your fingers, giving up before answering .

“from the age of 12-maybe 11 till i was almost 17” you answer with wide eyes.

“no fucking way-i did not know that” his eyes widen at your response too,before he continues talking.

“what was it about him?” he looks up at you from his fries.

“i dont know-we were friends for so long he knew everything about me and i knew everything about him,he was just a nice dude” you said almost sounding like you were describing chris.

“so he was me?” chris gives you a smile-the smile with his entire underbite showing.

you grin,blinking at him before jokingly hitting his face to the side.

“what about you? how many times has THE chris sturniolo been in love?” you asked looking at him with a smirk,you have an answer at the back of your mind because this conversation has 100% taken place before.

“alright this backfired real quick” chris mumbles under his breath with a scoff,his gaze turning away from you hiding a shy smile. you were beyond confused.

“WHAT? YOU DONT WANNA TELL ME?” you were shocked by his response,usually chris wants to tell you everything,and knowing that you both have definitely talked about this before, him not wanting to answer this question now bothered you.

“okay i’ll flash the numbers and you just stop me when you see the answer yeah?” to your words chris drops his hands into his face and groans slightly,like he is…embarrassed?

you hold up one finger in his face,to which he pulls his face out of his hands,looking at your hand and shakes his head in disappointment.

“you think i am at one?” chris spoke his voice cracking just a tiny bit

“okay i remember now-two” you were positive that thats what his answer was,because when you first became friends he did mention being in love twice

a small smile on his face as he fidgets with the straw on his drink,he shook his head again.

“no??? three people then!?” you screamed in his face

“DONT SAY IT LIKE THAT?” he replies with a frown

“can i get a list because i feel like im missing someone” you asked him genuinely curious because you definitely remember only the two .

“maybe later” chris hummed returning back to his fries with the small smile still on his face.

“three people huh?” you speak up again.

“i just- dont have a problem being in love with someone and not doing anything about it you know?” he shrugs like he didn’t just say something that made your heart curl up into a small ball in your chest,you cared about chris so much and you know what it feels like being in love with someone and not allowing yourself to do something about it,you try to think hard about who this woman could be because the other two women chris was in love with-he did make a move on,your frown growing with each passing second.

“oh-chris” your face fell,your hand reaches down to his lower thigh,rubbing it to console him.

“eh it’s whatever” he shrugs,his eyes plastered on your hand that is on him right now,he takes a sharp breath

“anyways” chris sighs,his eyes lower than before

“wanna smoke a joint with me?” he continues,with a smirk on his face.

a smile grows on your face,you nod.

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[lucygraysboy]

“yeah? thank you! i mean, that’s a very useful skill, you know? if you know how to knit, you can always knit yourself a sweater or a scarf or a blanket, and stay warm throughout winter and out on the prairie when the nights get cold,” the cowboy muses, not even trying to hide his excitement and straight up beaming at the kind songstress. he already knows she’s a great student, highly intelligent and curious, but he wonders what kind of teacher she is — patient and kind, is his bet, but it will be fun to swap places and see. “you’re bein’ way too sweet, lucy gray. that means a lot, comin’ from a girl as smart as yourself.” blushing when he realizes she remembers little details about him, his heart skipping a beat. how adorable is that? means she truly cares about him and listens to what he has to say. “you think so, too?” his features light up all at once, feeling as though they’re connected by some invisible string, sharing thoughts. not many people are fascinated by poems. not everyone can read to begin with, let alone understand the meaning of poetry. lucy gray is just so extraordinary. “oh, right! resistin’ arrest! one of my many talents. changin’ names, that’s another one,” he laughs, nodding in agreement, amusement brimming in his eyes. “well, first of all, i prefer the word strong-willed, sounds more like a compliment than an insult. but i was a very stubborn child, wouldn’t listen to no one but my ma. always bossed my little brother around, but that was just ‘cause i wanted to take care of him best i could.” mr. antrim couldn’t even dream of telling him what to do, stopped trying after a few attempts. “kind of, yeah. i like to get things done my own way, but… i would never try to boss you, lucy gray. you’re my partner, a lot smarter than me. i’ll listen to you.” god, he despises men who try to rule over women and vows to never become one of them. 

“no, not yet.” the cowboy shakes his head, frowning briefly but the sound of lucy gray’s laugh is enough to have him smiling again. “but she could have, alright? bet she wanted to, just didn’t want to get on your bad side.” he explains awkwardly, looking over his shoulder and finding the goat still glaring at him menacingly. she hates him. maybe no amount of dandelions will change it. “i ain’t ever milkin’ her.” he’ll shovel horse shit for hours, but he won’t get anywhere near that grass-munching demon. his fingers curling around lucy gray’s, feeling safe enough to triumphantly stick his tongue out at shamus. “thank you for savin’ me.” running to the safety of the porch, billy can’t refrain from laughing, squeezing his friend’s hand and letting her be the hero while he’s clearly the damsel in distress. jesse would be laughing his ass off if he could see him now. “alright, that’s a lot of taters.” he picks up a small kitchen knife before taking the potatoes from her, he’s just waiting for her to grab some carrots, lingering in the threshold.

“oh, i’d love to.” that comes as a sweet, endearing little surprise that he wants to learn how to knit. voice chipper because she’d love to be his teacher in showing him how to knit, that’d be fun and he’d learn something knowledgeable. “i remember you sayin’ you liked poetry. people who like to read, are always people who are smart. and that proves it.” smiling widely, going around with a sense of pride for him for some reasoning. above getting in all this trouble, he seems to have his head on right. she’s always proud of people who seem down to earth and smart— mentally and emotionally. especially young fellows, since tender-hearted and smart ones doesn’t come often. “and that’s right, poems are a lot like that. i find it fascinatin’ you’ve pointed that out.” brunette tells him, endearment staying etched softly across her olive visage. “i can tell you’re stubborn in resistin’ arrest,” words amusingly spoken, “but i don’t know in what else.” he’s been pretty lenient with her, but she has only known him for two days now. “you’re sayin’ you’re bossy? well, you met your match, you won’t boss me. i’m bossi-er.” lucy gray playfully adds, clearly— with her deep stubbornness.

turning to check his reaction, it doesn’t fail to have her belly laughing, giggles pouring out of her. never going to get this image of what she sees out of her head now, the way he looks so panicked and then takes off so quick from the barn to come to her for safety. “what is it, darlin’? did she already get you on the rear end?” more laughter spilling over, hand reaching out to take hold of his. “i’ll save you, don’t worry.“ pulling him the rest of the way to the porch, running them to it like shamus is so terrifying. she’s just a tender soul, even though she could bite him— but lucy gray’s sure she’d have to feel provoked. laughing all the way into the house, she lets his hand go once she pushes open the screen door and leads them to the potato box in the kitchen. opening the lid, digging in, scooping out a few and placing some into his hands while her face still hurts with amusement after playing little goat tricks on him.

[lotuswish]

˗ˏˋ how they hold your hand (housewardens & jamil) ⭑ .ᐟ

synopsis: fingers intertwining, a gentle squeeze, the warmth of a palm against yours—how each boy holds your hand says more than words ever could. from shy, lingering touches to firm, protective grips, every gesture is a glimpse into the way they love.

featured character(s): riddle rosehearts, leona kingscholar, azul ashengrotto, kalim al-asim, jamil viper, vil schoenheit, idia shroud, malleus draconia.

content warning(s): none.

a/n: just a cute and silly idea i had at 3am. :3

riddle rosehearts

riddle holds your hand like it’s a delicate porcelain teacup—carefully, with just enough pressure to keep it secure. at first, his fingers are a little stiff, his cheeks faintly pink as he focuses on not fumbling. he tries so hard to get it just right, and when he feels your fingers relax in his, his grip softens, almost shyly. he’ll sneak a glance at your face, and if he catches you smiling, his hold tightens slightly, a quiet boost to his confidence.

“i hope… this isn’t too forward,” he says softly, his voice careful and deliberate, though his gaze lingers on your joined hands with the faintest hint of pride.

leona kingscholar

leona’s hand intertwines with yours with effortless confidence, his hold firm yet unhurried, carrying a subtle possessiveness—like your hand was always meant to be in his, and he has no intention of letting go. his fingers slide between yours with ease, and he occasionally shifts your hands against his leg or his side, keeping you close without making a fuss. if you try to pull away, even as a joke, he’ll tug you back with a low grumble, his tail flicking once beside him in annoyance.

“don’t start something you can’t finish, herbivore,” he drawls, his tone low and gruff. though he acts nonchalant, deep down, it's his way of keeping you close without having to say it out loud.

azul ashengrotto

azul holds your hand like he’s trying to make the perfect impression, his fingers enveloping yours carefully, almost methodically. his palm is cool, and every so often, his grip tightens subtly, like he’s testing the waters to see if this is really okay. though he maintains his composed expression, his gaze flickers nervously between your face and your joined hands. when he sees your reassuring smile, the faintest flush of pink spreads across his cheeks, despite his efforts to stay collected.

“i trust this arrangement is… satisfactory?” he asks, his voice soft and composed, but the way he clears his throat afterward betrays his nerves.

kalim al-asim

kalim grabs your hand without hesitation, his fingers threading through yours in a fluid, lively motion, like he’s been waiting to do it all along. his grip is strong and eager, a comforting warmth radiating from his palm. the giddy smile on his face makes it clear that your touch is his favorite thing in the world. as you walk, he swings your joined hands, and every so often, he’ll squeeze your hand gently or press it against his chest when he’s particularly excited about something.

“i’m so glad you’re here with me,” he says, his voice bubbling with joy, as though holding your hand is the highlight of his day.

jamil viper

jamil holds your hand with calculated ease—his touch appears casual, but every movement is deliberate. his fingers lace with yours slowly, his grip just firm enough to keep you close without drawing attention. to anyone else, it might seem detached, but the way his fingers subtly shift to match your movements or the faint, almost unnoticeable tension in his shoulders reveals the truth: he’s hyperaware of you.

he doesn’t say much, but after a quiet moment, he glances at your hands and murmurs, “you don’t have to hold on so tightly,” his tone calm, though the slight squeeze he gives your hand betrays just how much he doesn’t want you to let go.

vil schoenheit

vil holds your hand with an air of practiced elegance, his fingers lacing with yours smoothly, as if even the smallest gestures between you deserve the utmost intention and care. his grip is steady and purposeful, his hand fitting perfectly against yours. sometimes, he’ll lift your hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against your knuckles before letting his fingers curl a little tighter around yours.

“your hands are quite lovely,” he murmurs, his tone carrying its usual polished air, but softer, more personal. “i suppose i shouldn’t be surprised—everything about you tends to draw the eye.”

idia shroud

idia starts by linking pinkies with you, his hand hovering awkwardly at first. his skin is warm and a little clammy, his nerves written in the way his fingers twitch slightly. after a few moments, he works up the courage to slide the rest of his fingers into place, his grip loose but earnest. his hand fidgets slightly against yours, like he’s still adjusting, but when he notices you’re not letting go, a shy, genuine smile tugs at his lips.

“uh… your hand’s… really warm,” he mutters softly, his voice unsteady as the tips of his hair flicker pink. “it’s… kinda nice, actually.”

malleus draconia

malleus holds your hand with a quiet reverence, his long fingers intertwining with yours with a gentle but steady grip. his touch carries a subtle chill, and there’s a deliberate care in the way he adjusts his hold, as if mindful of not startling you. occasionally, he lifts your hand slightly, aligning his palm with yours as if to compare their size. his fingers slowly curl around yours again, his touch gentle and his gaze filled with quiet wonder, as though the contrast holds a meaning only he can understand.

“your hands are small, child of man,” he says softly, tilting his head as if deep in thought. “yet they feel as though they were meant to be held by mine.”

congrats on making it to the end! if you enjoyed this, likes, comments, follows, and reblogs are always appreciated—they help motivate me to keep creating and sharing!

[passmethatcokezero]

hot and bothered... (18+ // woozi!friends with benefits au)

jihoon x fem!reader 2.7k words warnings: smut. minors dni! bff!woozi is hot and bothered at work so bff!you came to the rescue, dry humping, blowjob, needy jihoon cos why not, made so quick cos I was missing him and he has been living in my mind rent free since the day i saw him on the carts ( i wasnt same since then and thoughts have been thunk so here's a fraction of those thoughts ), just a short one, but thinking of making a part two continuation. enjoy!

“You alright?” The silence breaks, as the words from your mouth betrayed yourself. You didn’t really want to speak first, although you did feel the air has now gotten a little lighter compared earlier.

It was Seungkwan’s stupid plan; the guys had been sick of staying up all night after hours of practice for a few days now just to please their dear producer. No one can seem to thaw him, moreso pinpoint where the tension is rooted from. Obviously, it was self-inflicted pressure. Jihoon can’t understand why nobody seems to meet his expectations lately and it got bad to the point of Seokmin blaming himself for what seemed like delays but aren’t as they still got plenty of time before the next comeback. Seungkwan, hurt, seeing his talented friend’s self-esteem chase tears down his cheeks, stepped up by calling you over because “maybe you can do something about your best friend,” as he said.

Jihoon sighed as he slumps his body deep in his chair. You’ve made your presence known since earlier when Soonyoung was trying to ease the tension but you kept your mouth shut or else Jihoon might explode knowing you’re just going to take the poor boy’s side who was even more in tears brought therein by your comforting strokes on his arm. “You came here for what exactly?”

“Excuse me?” you scoffed at his words. “Seungkwan called me. For some reason I thought I was coming for a celebration and yet…”

Silence takes over once again. The boys had long been gone since Bumzu initiated that everyone should take a breather first, and secretly asking you to stay and maybe help clear up your friend’s mind. “I don’t even know why the boys kept on doing this, okay? Suddenly all the pressure’s on me whenever you’re acting up.”

You did not want to say it, but it had been a long day at work and hearing his snarky voice ticked you in a bad way.

“I am just tired.” Jihoon says almost immediately, as if not wanting you to say anything more. He massaged his temples and continued, “...tired as fuck.”

“But that does not excuse that kind of attitude!” you stood from the couch, rising with the tension inside the room. “You’re being too hard on the boys and yourself. Again.” You cursed under your breath, realizing the cringy tone that just left your mouth. The last time the same exact nagging tone came out, Jihoon’s anxiety was having a field day in his brain just like earlier, and you did not expect what happened after.

And then it came to you. Soon you were flooded with flashbacks from what happened that night: Jihoon aggressively pinning you by the door, meaning to actually open it and let you out, when all of a sudden you pulled him into an embrace in an attempt to calm him down, crashing your lips to his after a long eye-fucking, breath kissing when you caught him off guard, blushing from the sudden warmth. Not long after he responded, kissing you hard as if you were not just shedding tears arguing with him over his sharp words when you were just asking him to simply breathe during a heated exchange with Soonyoung over the phone. The kiss went wild yet slowly turned comfortable as he kept on apologizing, feeling your hot tears meet his burning red cheeks. You figured he needed it that time, like a de-stressor of some sorts, and so you let his mouth conquer yours as a way to help.

That kiss went longer than what friends could actually share. But if it's the only way to keep your friend sane that moment, you suppose you can let him use you as long as he is not going to be weird about it right after. Which he did, or so you thought.

Because that day never left his mind. He was not sure why you let him kiss you like that that night, nor why you did not even bother to ask about it days, weeks after. A bit hurt that it seemed like a casual thing for you, but for him it meant healing, washing away the anxiety clouding his thinking. That moment stayed on his mind unhealthily long, almost turned into songs he would never write and let you hear, even causing him to get wet dreams for quite a while. But of course, no one could know. Not about the kiss. Not even his budding feelings towards his best friend.

“Jihoon-ah…” you exhaled, turning his swivel to face you. “I can help, Just… tell me how..”

Both of you had the same thing in mind, he needed you just like that night. But why does he find it hard to admit it? 

The guy blushed in pink, avoiding your eyes at all cost, acting as if in deep-thought. “I…”

“Look at me,” he obeys in a second, but his eyes can't help but fall into your lips inches away from him. “Do you want…. my help?”

He nods subtly as an answer, but you can’t just accept that. You needed him firm, an answer to also clear your doubts about the way his eyes are glued to your lips, his ears blushed to the reddest of red, and the way his adam’s apple bobbed up and down when you leaned in closer: is he nervous because he’s uncomfortable? or was he nervous because you suddenly make him be?

“Yeah…” his breath hitches, the side of your lips upturns.

“Then say it—”

“I need you,” he reveals his innermost desire as he scrambles to his feet and catches your lips like he has been waiting for it for centuries.

Just like the first time, the kiss deepens instantly as you two found a comfortable position on the couch, you settling on his lap, arms around his shoulders. You two couldn't even care less if the door had been left unlocked when the people had left. It’s just your mouth sharing warmth with his; tongues dancing together in harmony. Just like the first time, he was craving for more, and he was able to relay that message when his teeth grazed at your lower lip, causing a moan to escape your lungs. He too groaned and by then you realized he is now rock hard underneath your heat, his thin shorts revealing himself to your clothed mound. 

“Fuck…” you did not expect yourself to be so turned on knowing you made your best friend erect just like that. All you did was wet kissing and well, maybe sitting right above his cock was what it all took.

You arched your back when you felt him squirm underneath you. He was definitely trying to move and find his rhythm, you thought, so you matched with his and rolled your hips against his erection.

“Damn….” he moaned so deeply with his hoarse voice. The friction between your clothed pussy and his bulge was enough to send you dripping to your core. Not even him, the most rational person you knew, can think straight at a moment like this: does he want to kiss your neck or pull you for another tongue wrestling? Does he want to tear all the annoying garments away from you? Does he want to set his cock free and let you sit on it, ride it if it’s too tempting for you? There’s one thing he knows though, he does not want to stop humping for now. The kind of pleasure the friction is giving him, plus the fact that he was doing such an erotic activity with not just any person but his best friend he had been fantasizing about lately was enough to send him nuts. He cannot even fathom what would happen if this escalates to something more, just having your warmth and your equally heightened libido had his focus on the now.

“You’re so hard, Jihoon.”

It felt so good and ego-boosting at the same time. Is he having a good time as well? He seems to like it as much as you do. His erection and hip movements to meet yours say it all: he wants you so bad and you feel proud someone actually desires you that much. When even was the last time you got laid? Was it a very long time ago? You aren’t sexually active yourself, and surprisingly, you’ve never been in a serious relationship as well. Maybe it wasn’t your priority, but having this heated session with your friend, you realized, you also craved to be touched, and be wanted. You wanted to be kissed deeply and ravenously, to be held possessively, and to be wanted as hungrily as how Jihoon was making you feel. Exactly as how Jihoon is obsessing for all that you are right now.

“Touch me. Please, Jihoon…” 

The dry humping must have had a drug, you thought. How come having all these annoying barriers on your skin makes all these way hotter than you thought it could be? Especially when Jihoon’s feisty hands made their way from your waist to the insides of your shirt while his sloppy kisses made their way to your neck. His cold hands cupping your breasts send electricity to your spine, causing you to moan out his name as dirty and needy as possible. Who could blame you, he was making you feel so good. His hands that created masterpieces are now invading your privacy, so sweetly yet so heavy with emotions. It was as if he was milking out lyrics to an explicit love song out of you, to match the melodies coming out of your lungs that harmonize with his.

“You’re so fucking hot, you know that?” he managed to say between breaths, as he enjoys playing with your now slightly free breasts that had slipped out of your bra. He is still a boy, you found that out long time ago, when you’ve caught him subtly staring at your chest during that one listening party night you were his plus one at a bar hosted by a producer friend and you just had to wear something skimpy and rather revealing, something to match the R&B vibe of the album. He did catch himself as well staring that time, and proceeded to lend you his suit because “the bartender was having the time of his life flirting with you," - went his alibi.

“Yeah? That’s why you wanted me so bad huh?—oh shit!” you moaned out loud when his hold on you became heavier, pushing you down to his hardened cock as if there were anymore spaces left in between.

Mouths agape, together you humped against each other's heat, only moans were resonating inside his studio alongside a minute sound of the friction cause by the fabrics.

“Fuck I think gonna cum, fuck,” Jihoon cursed, while his eyes were shut and his teeth gritted to concentration. “Fuck,” he humps against you harder as curses kept on rolling from his tongue, while your hips rolled faster to meet his tempo, moans pitched higher and higher. You were also close, and suddenly you were reminded this isn’t about you. You were helping your friend. And you gotta do what you gotta do.

“Wai-wha—what are you doing?” his voice sounded annoyed but you know better than to answer him. Legs folding on the floor as you positioned yourself in between his, not wasting time in pulling twice the constraints that were his shorts and underwear. His cock sprung healthily, all pink and angry, veins bulging out as if wanted to be traced by your tongue.

He hissed out of breath, confused if he wanted to surrender on the couch or look at you in a position he had only dreamt of once. 

No words need exchanging as you started sucking him off right there, mixing his precum with saliva, coating him down until your mouth can take. He had praises for you behind his teeth but all he could let out were needy guttural moans that translated how good you were making him feel anyway. You let his moans and the sight of him all sweaty and consumed fuck your system as the pool in your south continued to dampen your undies, the insides of your thighs getting ticklish, missing the attention it has gotten from him. Oh how badly you wanted him to fuck you right then and there, how badly you want him bucking his hips and drilling you so deep, how badly you wanted this thick cock of his inside you, stretching you oh so painfully yet so pleasurable.

“fuck… cant… anymore…” his shaky words were almost inaudible from all the dirty noises he was making, sounding even more gibberish while his body moved erratically to fuck your mouth, hands glued to your head to try to get his momentum, which did not take long as strings of cum exploded inside your mouth. You were quick to swallow, but most of his loads were still overflowing, racing down to your chin straight to your neck. It was one heck of a view, he thinks, as his chest heaves chasing his breath while appreciating a bit of the scene: his softening cock popping out of your mouth, before almost passing out.

“that was… really good.” it was probably an understatement to the euphoric climax he just had; his mind was still hazy from the release so he cannot find the correct words to tell you. But you were fine, the moans already sounded like praises to you. “That feels much better than I do with my own.”

“Of course it would,” you gave him a peck on the corner of his lips, and then dusting off the wrinkles on your clothes and adjusting your bra. “Takes two to tango.”

Confusion was then plastered on his face when you began fixing your hair and proceeding to face your back to grab your bag you left by the table. “What are you doing?”

“Leaving?”

“Who said you are?”

Somewhere in the room, his phone rings which he attentively checks. The name wasn’t supposed to annoy the hell out of him, but right now it almost spelled like a curse to him.

“You’re not leaving, please.” he grabs your hand as he takes the call from Bumzu. He knows you did not have your release, and he doesn’t want you carrying all that unreleased tension inside you when he himself had the best one tonight. 

You heard the other line asking how he was feeling now and that he had left something inside the studio and if it’s okay to go and get it. Jihoon agrees, not without a defeated sigh and a click of his tongue only you can hear.

“You know the passcode right? I think I’ll take my leave tonight, I don’t think I can wring anything out of my mind at this rate.”

You looked at him while shaking your head as a smirk forms on your mouth, furrowing your eyebrows at him as if asking him what he was saying.

“Sure, actually we’ve been meaning to tell you that.” Bumzu seconds him, and asks about you right after. You heard him say Seokmin and Seungkwan had been asking if you weren’t busy and maybe hangout for a while as a way to thank you from earlier. Both guys had always been the sweetest among the bunch and although it was only out of courtesy, Jihoon can’t help but fume in jealousy, making himself lie to keep you in his (and ONLY HIS) sight for a while.

“She just left, I think she said she’s going for an early appointment tomorrow,” and ends the call soon when Bumzu bids his farewell and hopes of him getting well.

“I didn’t know you can lie to your brothers,”

“For an emergency yeah,” he hasn’t let go of your hand yet, and now he was already leading you out of his studio to the elevator.

“You could just say you’re sending me home, that would sound a lot better,”

And then what, you finding out about how the guys had been teasing him about you since day one? Of course, he won’t let that happen. Not until he finds the time to finally be honest with himself and to you.

“So… my place or yours?”

-

stay tuned for part two for the hoo-haa ;)

[heliosunny]

hear me out! Hear me out!

Yandere!husband Anaxa x wife!fem reader

Fem reader as his housewife who is oblivious to his yandere things, she just thinking of him as a overprotective type, she like to shower him with kisses and other affection when he come home from work, prepare food for him to bring to his work. Just wife! Fem reader being a good and loveable wife 🤭.

Ohhhh good point!

Yandere!Anaxa x Wife!Fem!Reader

The morning sun bathed the grand estate in golden light as you hummed softly, carefully packing Anaxa’s lunch. His duties as a strategist to the kingdom kept him endlessly busy, but you always made sure he left with a full stomach and a heart brimming with love. As you sealed the final container, warm hands encircled your waist from behind.

“Darling, you’re spoiling me again” Anaxa murmured, his deep voice carrying a hint of amusement as he pressed a kiss to the nape of your neck.

You giggled, leaning into his embrace. “That’s my job as your wife, isn’t it?” Turning around, you cupped his face in your hands, admiring his sharp features and piercing gaze, softened only when he looked at you. “I want you to be healthy. Who else will come home for my kisses if not you?”

Anaxa’s lips curled into a smirk, but his arms tightened around you. “You always say such dangerous things, my sweet wife. You know I can’t bear the thought of being away from you.”

You pouted playfully, standing on your toes to pepper kisses all over his face. “Then hurry home today. I’ll be waiting with dinner, and of course, all the kisses you want.”

His eyes darkened, but you thought it was simply his usual overprotective streak. You never noticed the way his fingers twitched, itching to eliminate anything that dared to steal even a fraction of your affection. With one final, lingering kiss to your forehead, Anaxa departed for the palace, leaving you to your daily routine of keeping the house warm and filled with love.

That evening, as the sky deepened into hues of violet and gold, you stood by the front door, eagerly awaiting Anaxa’s return. When the heavy doors finally creaked open, your excitement turned to concern.

Anaxa staggered inside, his usually composed expression marred by exhaustion. His forehead glistened with sweat, his steps slow and unsteady.

“Anaxa!” You rushed to his side, pressing your palm to his forehead. “You’re burning up!”

He let out a breathy chuckle, though his usual confidence was dulled by his fever. “It’s nothing, my love. Just a long day.”

“Nonsense, you’re sick!” you scolded gently, already guiding him toward the bedroom. “You work too hard. I keep telling you to take breaks.”

He let you fuss over him, his eyes half-lidded as he watched you with adoration. You were so utterly devoted, so beautifully oblivious to the lengths he went to ensure your world remained untouched by anything unpleasant.

As you dabbed a cool cloth against his forehead, you sighed. “You’re always protecting me. But who’s going to protect you if you don’t let me take care of you?”

His heart clenched at your sincerity, at the way you loved him so purely despite his countless sins.

With what little strength he had, Anaxa reached for your hand, bringing it to his lips. “Only you, my love” he murmured, his fever making his voice raw yet undeniably affectionate. “I belong only to you.”

You smiled, unaware of the weight behind his words. To you, he was simply your devoted, overprotective husband. To Anaxa, you were the sole light in his world, a light he would destroy kingdoms to keep.

That night, you stayed by Anaxa’s side, ensuring he was comfortable as he rested. He was feverish, but the way he clung to you didn’t change. Even in his weakened state, his arms encircled your waist, refusing to let you stray too far.

“Darling, you should sleep” you murmured, brushing damp strands of his hair away from his face.

His eyes flickered open slightly, locking onto you. “Only if you stay.”

You smiled, pressing a tender kiss to his forehead. “Of course. I’m not going anywhere.”

Satisfied with your promise, he finally allowed his body to relax. His breathing steadied, and for the first time that day, he seemed at peace. You continued to stroke his hair, humming softly until you, too, drifted into sleep beside him.

The next morning, Anaxa was still unwell, though the fever had gone down. You insisted he remain in bed, fussing over him with the utmost care.

“You’re not going to work today” you declared firmly, placing a tray of warm porridge and herbal tea on the bedside table. “The kingdom can survive a day without you.”

Anaxa huffed a quiet laugh, clearly amused by your determination. “You truly are the only one who dares to order me around, my love.”

You pouted. “And you always listen, don’t you?”

“Of course” he murmured, his fingers tracing gentle patterns along your wrist. “Because everything you do is out of love.”

You beamed, pleased with his response, and leaned forward to press a flurry of kisses all over his face. “Good! Then be a good patient for me, alright?”

He sighed in contentment, basking in your affection. His fever may have left his body weak, but the warmth of your love filled him with a different kind of strength, the kind that made him certain he would do anything to protect this life you shared.

Anaxa remained bedridden for the rest of the day, much to his quiet frustration. His body was still weak, his mind dulled by the remnants of fever, but you were adamant that he rest. You spent the morning at his side, feeding him small spoonfuls of warm porridge and herbal tea.

“See? Isn’t it nice to be taken care of for once?” you teased as you dabbed a cool cloth against his forehead.

Anaxa exhaled softly. “If it means you’ll spoil me like this, I might consider falling ill more often.”

You gasped, lightly swatting his arm. “Don’t joke about that! I hate seeing you sick.”

His smirk softened into something more tender as he reached for your hand, lacing his fingers through yours. “And I hate worrying you, my love.”

Your lips curled into a warm smile. “Then get better soon, alright? You’re not allowed to work yourself to exhaustion anymore.”

Anaxa chuckled but didn’t argue. He could never refuse you, not when you looked at him with such pure devotion. As the day passed, you busied yourself around the house, making sure everything was in order while also preparing a nourishing dinner for Anaxa. Every so often, you’d check in on him, pressing your palm against his forehead to ensure his fever didn’t return.

By evening, he was already feeling much stronger. Though you insisted he stay in bed, he stubbornly pulled you into his arms the moment you entered the room.

“You should be resting” you scolded lightly, though you didn’t resist as he held you close.

“I am” he murmured against your hair. “You’re the best medicine I could ask for.”

You giggled, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “You always say the sweetest things.”

Only for you, he thought. Only you deserved his kindness, his warmth. The rest of the world, those who threatened to take even a fraction of your attention away from him, deserved nothing but his cold, calculated ruthlessness.

Anaxa recovered quickly over the next few days, much to your relief. You resumed your usual routine, preparing his meals, seeing him off to work, and welcoming him home with your endless affection.

Everything seemed normal.

But something was different.

You couldn’t quite place it, but Anaxa had been acting a little… off. He was always protective, yes, but now it felt almost suffocating. His touch lingered longer, his eyes never strayed from you, and whenever you mentioned running errands alone, his expression would darken in an almost imperceptible way.

Then, one evening, the illusion of normalcy finally shattered.

Anaxa returned home late that night, his cloak slightly disheveled, his usual pristine gloves stained with something dark.

You gasped the moment he stepped inside. “Anaxa! You’re hurt!”

Rushing to him, you reached for his hands, but he swiftly pulled them back.

“It’s nothing, my love” he said “Just a matter that needed handling.”

Your brows furrowed. “But your gloves—”

“It’s not my blood.”

That should have reassured you. It should have made you sigh in relief. And yet, a cold shiver ran down your spine at the way he said it, so casually, as if it was an afterthought.

You swallowed, trying to push the unease away. “At least let me clean you up.”

He hesitated for a brief moment before finally allowing you to take his hand. You peeled off his stained gloves, revealing his pale, unscathed skin beneath.

No wounds. No injuries. Just blood.

You tried not to let your hands tremble as you wiped them clean, your mind racing with unspoken questions. Who did this blood belong to? What exactly had Anaxa done today?

You knew he worked as the kingdom’s strategist, handling delicate matters behind the scenes. But you had never questioned the extent of his duties. Not until now.

Sensing your unease, Anaxa suddenly lifted your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. His touch was gentle, but his eyes- oh, his eyes were unreadable.

“My love” he murmured, stroking your cheek with his newly cleaned hand. “You trust me, don’t you?”

The way he asked wasn’t pleading, it was a statement, a quiet demand wrapped in velvet.

You hesitated for only a second, and that was enough for his fingers to tighten slightly around your chin.

“Of course, I do” you answered quickly, offering him a reassuring smile. “I just… worry about you.”

Anaxa searched your face for any trace of doubt before his grip softened. “There’s no need to worry” he assured you, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead. “As long as I am here, nothing will ever harm you.”

His words should have been comforting. But they weren’t. Because as he held you close, whispering sweet promises into your ear, you finally understood. Anaxa wasn’t just protecting you from harm. He was eliminating anyone he deemed a threat—without hesitation, without remorse.

One morning, as you were tidying the house, you noticed that some of your letters were missing—the ones from an old friend who had recently visited the city. You frowned, searching through your drawers. Strange, you could have sworn you left them here.

Before you could dwell on it, the front door opened.

“I’m home” Anaxa’s deep voice rang through the house.

Your thoughts immediately scattered. Smiling, you rushed to greet him, throwing your arms around his neck. “Welcome back, my love!”

He wrapped his arms around you, holding you a second longer than usual. “You missed me that much?”

“Always.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek before pulling back. “You’re home early today. That’s rare.”

Anaxa hummed, his hand sliding down to rest at your lower back. “I had no reason to linger at the palace. Everything I do is for you, after all.”

His words made your heart flutter, and you laughed, leaning up to kiss him again. “Flatterer. Come sit, I’ll bring you some tea.”

Later that evening, as you set the table for dinner, you hesitated before asking, “By the way, have you seen the letters from my friend? The ones I left in the drawer?”

Anaxa, who was removing his gloves, paused for only a fraction of a second before continuing. “Letters?”

You nodded, glancing toward the desk. “Yes, I wanted to reply, but I couldn’t find them.”

His eyes met yours. Then, he sighed, shaking his head. “I had them disposed of.”

You blinked. “You… what?”

“They were unnecessary.” His voice remained calm, as if he were simply discussing palace affairs. “You don’t need to waste time on people who don’t matter.”

For a moment, you just stared at him, unsure if you heard correctly. “But they were my letters, Anaxa. My friend wrote to me.”

Anaxa exhaled softly, standing from his seat. In two steps, he was in front of you, tilting your chin up with gentle fingers.

“You already have everything you need right here, don’t you? You don’t need distractions.”

You forced a small smile. “You’re really overprotective sometimes, you know that?”

Anaxa’s lips curled slightly. “Only because I love you.”

He kissed your forehead, lingering for a moment before finally releasing you.

You didn’t press the matter further.

But that night, as you lay in bed beside him, you couldn’t shake the feeling that Anaxa had decided something for you. And you weren’t sure if you would ever be able to change his mind.

The air between you and Anaxa felt heavier than usual. You tried not to dwell on it, tried to convince yourself that he only acted out of love, but the unease remained.

Still, he was your husband, the man who cherished you, who came home every night to your kisses and warmth. You didn’t want this small rift to linger. So, you decided to mend things in the way you knew best: with love.

That evening, you prepared an elaborate dinner, filling the table with all of Anaxa’s favorite dishes. You carefully arranged everything, ensuring the presentation was perfect.

When he stepped through the door, his eyes flickered in surprise at the sight of the candlelit table.

“What’s this?” he asked, his voice smooth yet cautious.

You approached him with a warm smile, wrapping your arms around his waist. “A special dinner for my special husband.”

His gaze softened instantly, and he let out a quiet chuckle.

You led him to his seat, watching as he took his first bite. His expression remained unreadable, but the subtle way his shoulders relaxed told you he appreciated the effort.

As you ate together, you finally gathered the courage to speak.

“Anaxa,” you began hesitantly. “About earlier…”

He set his utensils down. “You’re still thinking about that?”

You exhaled, trying to choose your words carefully. “I just… I want you to understand that my friends aren’t a threat to us. I love you more than anything, but I also have people I care about.”

His expression remained unreadable for a long moment. Then, slowly, he sighed.

“I know.”

You blinked in surprise.

He leaned back, running a hand through his hair. “I know I can be overbearing” he admitted, his voice quieter. “It’s just… I can’t stand the thought of losing you. Even the smallest distractions feel like something that could take you away from me.”

Your heart clenched.

Oh. So that’s what it was.

You reached across the table, gently taking his hand. “Anaxa… you’re not going to lose me. Ever. I chose you. And I’ll keep choosing you, every single day.”

His fingers tightened around yours, and for the first time in days, the tension in his body seemed to ease.

“You promise?”

You smiled, standing up and moving around the table to sit on his lap. He stiffened slightly at first, but you cupped his face, kissing him sweetly.

“I promise.” you murmured against his lips.

Anaxa exhaled slowly, his arms wrapping around you, holding you impossibly close. Perhaps he was possessive. Perhaps his love was intense. But he was yours, just as you were his. And he was more than content.

[enyaliuswrites]

➽ I wish we were strangers

“Out of all the wishes you made, is one of them about me?” Caleb asks, his expression briefly turning somber. As much as he knows you love him, he can't ever be sure. Maybe the love was platonic. Maybe his love for you was unrequited. You turn to him and smile, but there’s a quiet sadness hiding in the curve of your lips.

“…We wouldn’t have come here if there wasn’t any.” A sigh escapes your lips as your gaze drifts back to the river below. Leaning against his chest, you nuzzle into his embrace as you lift your intertwined hands and stare at them with downcast eyes. “Sometimes I really wish we were total strangers from the beginning. That way we don’t need to come with excuses to hold each other’s hand.”

Just as you finish speaking, his grip on your hand tightens, and he pulls you into a firm embrace. His head leans down and deeply inhales. He missed this. How you and him would always play around and end up lying together on the floor full of laughter or how you two would always end up in each other's arms. He will never not miss being able to touch you.

“Who says we need excuses, pip-squeak?” His voice is quiet and breathy, yet his tone carries a seriousness, similar to the one he used when acting as the Colonel of the Fleet. His breath is heavy and causes you to shiver as it brushes against your ear.

Caleb, who hasn't touched you in years, is now able to hold you as close as he wants. It’s like giving a five star meal to someone who’s been starving for 3 weeks.

“I’m never letting you go. Not again.” He curses at himself for being so naive and taking you for granted when you guys were younger. But now that you guys have reunited, he’s going to keep you by his side forever.

You try to move but his strong arms keep you in place, “Caleb, wait, let me do something.” His heart nearly stops at that. Did you feel uncomfortable? Oh god, what had he done? You probably hate him now. His arms drop to his side as you quickly turn and see his deflated body and solemn expression.

“Caleb, you big dummy.” You stand on your tiptoes, leaning your head toward him as you wrap your arms around his neck and plant a gentle kiss on his cheek. “Hold me tighter, then.”

A/N: I love Caleb so much I think it’s unhealthy. Inspired by the Linkon New Year story event. Please submit things for me to write, I’m on fire right now. As always, stay delusional! (*´∀`*) Art creds : Intertwined Gold - Love and Deepspace Dividers by @omi-resources

[moanz111]

i stumbled upon this while scrolling and it's such a well-written post that i just had to share my thought on this too!

first of all, i've been a fanfic reader since i was very young so i know what it feels like to be on the other side. i've been anxious and nervous to reblog or write comments and have never even thought of messaging the authors i read and liked just because i was terrified of being perceived. but trust me, writers are so incredibly grateful for every little interaction they get. i know it can be nerve wracking but you will never be judged for what you have to say! every single piece of feedback and opinion i get means the whole world to me and every time i get a comment, a reblog or an ask makes me so happy, it seriously makes my whole day.

i've been on the writer side since summer 2023 and a couple of months ago i came back after an extremely long hiatus and was so scared and worried because almost a year had passed since i had last promised updates yet i had failed to come back due to many reasons. but then i saw that people still cared and even though i lost most of my readers from back when i first started writing, i was so happy to see that new people were getting interested and were actually willing to talk to me and share their feedbacks. so thank you, to those who have been doing that <3

i don't judge people who decide to stay silent but trust me, there's nothing to fear! writers don't bite, we're human too so of course, naturally we thrive off interactions too, just like anyone else. there isn't a barrier between the two groups - all of us are fans of the same things and share the same interests, this is always a two way relationship.

writing is my hobby and something i like doing but sometimes the silence is killing me especially after coming back from a hiatus 😭 i don't write for notes, i do it for my own enjoyment but still, hearing something nice about your works always feels good and validating!

and about the genres - i see too what's more read and what's popular but it's so sad to hear that authors force themselves to write something that they don't originally really want to just to have someone read their stories. every story is worth giving a chance and authors shouldn't be required to fit themselves into certain boxes just so people pay attention. no one can be forced to read anything of course but my whole point is to be kind to authors and give them a chance because sometimes you can find such gems when you least expect it.

of course, there will always be genres that are more generally liked but we need diversity too so please, writers do what you want and what you love - the right people will appreciate it.

and on that note...i've been mostly writing smaus/texts so i feel like like sometimes it's even harder to get feedback and i think these are not as read as before but i still think it's worth keeping even this genre alive just because it's so fun (at least to me).

i just hope our community here stays alive for longer and starts thriving because it's so sad to see so many people leave :(

just be brave, interact and encourage others to do so too! support your favourite writers because they all are amazing and deserve all the love in this world!

to a dying? atinyblr

i don't usually speak about these things, but a lot of blogs (amazing writers) are leaving this platform or taking time off bc of lack of engagement which serves as a big demotivating factor. especially and specifically in this atiny fandom, some things have come to my attention and i just want all readers and writers to take a look at this post and refresh some reading and writing etiquettes, as well as revive the essence of being a part of this fandom.

feedback:

i understand that there are a lot of silent readers on here, but since tumblr is dying and our fandom is not very huge, the least you can do to show the writers some support is like the post. 

which brings me to the point that the like function didn't even exist in the past. this site still runs on reblogs. as readers, to show your favourite writers some semblance of support, you should be reblogging with tags. a simple ‘#ateez x reader’ or ‘#ateez fics’ is enough. it's literally not asking for much– reblogs are the only way writers can get reach.

if you cannot do that bc of your blog's aesthetic or whatever, side blogs exist. if you still cannot do that, a simple anon ask appreciating the writer sometimes saves them.

also, what has happened to the quality of reblogs? readers consume years of writers’ work and efforts in mere hours and don’t even leave any feedback? art in general in all forms is very underappreciated and with all sorts of problems like plagiarism, ai writing and everything, true art and writing is dying and needs to be appreciated now more than ever. we’re literally the last generation witnessing ai take over in all fields of arts. appreciate content creators before it’s too late, don’t be a content glutton!

updates and requests:

asking writers for updates when they specifically mention that they would prefer posting at their pace is wrong for so many reasons– we all have a real life. you, the reader, do too. just like you don't always have time to read, writers don't always have time to write. do you ever see the writers asking their readers 'why have you not read my latest chapter?' 

most of the times, writers mention in their bio/faq post or elsewhere that they do mind being asked about updates. respect your writers, please, and do a little scroll before you send such demanding asks (also, sugarcoating when asking for updates does not make it any better!)

if you are only asking about updates, it demotivates a lot of writers bc these same people will disappear when it is time for feedback. writing is a form of art. we can write, artists can paint, musicians can compose music, but all of it has no meaning unless it is shared with an audience and appreciated. readers are just as important as the writers but there is no way of knowing fics are valued unless feedback is given.

the same goes for requests. you can only send a request when the requests are open, which is usually mentioned in the writer’s bio/faq post. it’s literally not that hard to check if requests are open and it’s basic decency to not send a request when the writers specifically mention that requests are closed. when sending a request, please be courteous. a ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ are examples of being courteous when sending requests.

the fanfics in atinyblr:

i understand that you can read whatever you like, but why is it that in the atiny fandom, fics that do not contain smut hardly ever get attention? as a writer, i enjoy writing and reading smut, and while i am not specifically a smut blog, i have noticed how fics containing smut get far more reach than fics that do not contain smut– not just in my case, but other amazing writers as well. 

there are such amazing fictions in this fandom. all fics are crafted with dedication and care, yet stories without smut often get sidelined. writers are not able to express themselves in their writing freely anymore and they simply conform to a genre they know readers will consume, as they are forced to consider adding smut to their stories so they can get more reach in this fandom. i have heard accounts from a lot of writers who were inclined to add smut to an otherwise smut-free fic just for reach.

this is by no means hate to the smut writers. i am also not placing blame on them. smut drabbles have always been in this fandom, and there are amazing smut writers out there, doing their thing. it is the readers here who are failing the writers. readers are quick to talk about the lack of ‘good fics’ or ‘plot’ yet will not even bother searching for these works. there used to be a good balance and appreciation for all genres alike.

i know that smut is what's hot and trendy these days, and drabbles in general, no matter the genre, are easier to read when you want to take a short break. but there is such a lack of longfics in this fandom, especially as of lately, and as someone who has personally witnessed the ratio of longfics decrease exponentially, i felt the need to point this out. appreciate all writers! appreciate all genres! longfic writers need as much validation and encouragement as drabble writers, and vice versa! don't be too harsh on longfic writers for not pumping out fics at the same speed as shortfic writers.

and on that note, smut drabble writers experience a lack of quality feedback despite the high engagement, so readers, please don't hesitate to point out exactly what you liked about a fic, even if it's a short drabble! be kind to those writers, give them time to write and be kind when sending requests! they may post more often but they, too, have a life.

tags:

this is specifically for the people who will post a very normal picture of a member, no caption, but tag it something like #ateez smut, #ateez hard hours, #ateez x reader. and for the people who tag their asks with irrelevant tags– literally learn to tag your post properly, and stop crowding the wrong tags. you're just proving the point that if you don't tag a post with the smut tag or something similar, it won't get reach. if you've posted with a caption, that makes sense (though it still doesn't warrant some of the tags being used there).

as for writers, also learn to use your tags appropriately. fics that do not contain smut should not be tagged with smut related tags. believe in yourself. i get that there is the problem of reach but do not overcrowd tags with irrelevant material.

disclaimer:

this is by no means about me. if i cared about the notes, or lack thereof, i would have stopped writing a while ago. while it is challenging to be a writer here, especially as of lately, i still enjoy posting whatever i write no matter the genre or the word count. but it's a bit disappointing that my planned out fics get much less attention than a simple smut headcanons post that i wrote in the heat of the moment with my friend in literally a few hours as a joke (which has reached almost 10k notes btw in a span of 2 years). sure, it has exposed my blog to new readers but that's about it.

this post is for all the amazing writers who have left, are thinking of leaving, or are struggling to voice these problems because they are afraid of being marked as 'problematic' or a 'hater' or something worse. i am not afraid to voice my opinion on here, and if you think that i am wrong, feel free to interact with this post and correct me because i am not claiming that i am right about this.

these are just the observations i have made as someone who has been actively writing on this platform for about 4 years now, and since i have a decent number of followers, i hope this post gets more reach. do not be afraid to reblog this if you agree, and even if you do not, reblog this so someone else gets educated. i may have missed some points so feel free to add if you want too.

[heartsriki]

ALWAYS YOURS, NEVER MINE ⌇늦은

pairing ᝰ jungwon x fem!reader (?) — featuring.. riki & jay word count: 3k+

⌇ … warnings & genre ↺ pt. 2, angst, high-school au!, gut-wrenching angst like trust, love triangle, crying, lots of selfishness coming from won, hurt no comfort..., one-sided love.

synopsis — why did jungwon hide rikis love letter to you? (PLEASE READ PART 1)

lee's ₊˚⊹ ᰔ comment ┊there were a lot of questions/asks for explanations from pt. 1 so here it is! guys lowkey started tearing up I'm so sorry jungwon biases... I couldn't help myself again...

5 months before…

Today was Jungwon’s worst day possible. He hadn’t done as well as he wanted on an important test—not a failing grade, but not perfect either. On top of that, he left his stuff somewhere and couldn’t remember where.

Usually, he was calm, cool, and collected, but right now, he felt helpless. Resting his head on his desk, he let the frustration settle in, feeling like he was slowly being submerged in water—until he felt a slight tug on his hair.

Slowly, he lifted his head, only to see you, your hand still hovering above him. You flinched at his movement, clearly not expecting him to be awake.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! I thought you were asleep, and your hair just looked so fluffy—” you blurted, your words tumbling over each other.

Jungwon just stared at you, silent.

You took his lack of response as a reason to keep going. “Anyway—I found this bag and recognized the name. Here you go!” You slung it over the back of his chair, grinning.

He glanced at the bag before looking back at you. You knew him? He didn’t know you.

The silence stretched, and you hummed, shifting awkwardly. He still hadn’t said thank you. You were about to excuse yourself when you caught a glimpse of the paper under his arms.

“Hey, a 75? That’s great! Man, I barely got a 65—you’re so smart. You wanna study sometime?”

Jungwon opened his mouth to reply, but before he could, the classroom door swung open.

“Y/N! We need you in the student council room—the boys are fighting again!”

You groaned, dragging your hands down your face. Without another word, you gave him a small wave, flashing a pretty smile before running off.

Jungwon raised his head, staring at the spot you had just been. “A 75 isn’t even good,” he murmured, resting his head back down. “What a weirdo.”

Yet, despite himself, he kept thinking back to that moment. He wouldn’t admit it, but it brought him a strange sense of comfort. He also didn’t even want to imagine what would’ve happened if he had really lost his stuff.

Days passed, and while he didn’t speak to you much, he saw you everywhere. Then, one day, as he strolled through the library, he spotted you working at the front desk.

He lingered behind a shelf, watching as you glanced around before sneaking to the back of the library.

Curiosity got the better of him. He followed.

Turning the corner, he caught you opening a small box, slipping a piece of paper inside. When you turned around, both of you flinched.

“Jungwon? What are you doing here?”

He crossed his arms. “What are you doing here? What’s in the box?”

Quickly, you stretched your arms out, blocking him. “It’s nothing.”

Jungwon smirked, trying to peek past you. “If it’s nothing, let me see.”

Before you could stop him, he had already snatched up the paper. You groaned, covering your face as he read it.

“You were embarrassed over cussing someone out for wearing the same headband as you on picture day?” His grin widened, amusement dancing in his eyes.

“I talked about wearing that headband for weeks…” you mumbled, looking away.

For a moment, he stayed silent. And then—he burst out laughing. Full, unrestrained laughter—the kind he hadn’t had in ages.

From that day on, he stayed by your side.

Jungwon was well-known around school. Girls found him handsome, even flirted with him, guys thought he was pretty damn good at sports and cool to hang out with. But because of that pedestal, few ever approached him as a true friend.

You didn’t seem to care about all that.

Instead of just waving at him in the hallway, you ran up to him to rant about your day. Instead of borrowing a pencil and ignoring him for the rest of class, you swapped desk numbers just to sit beside him. Instead of leaving him alone when he shut down, you stayed. Always.

You became his best friend. And he was yours. Thats all he ever needed.

That’s what he told himself, anyway.

February rolled around—the month of love. The halls were littered with Valentine’s posters, the air buzzing with excitement.

Jungwon didn’t think much of it. Maybe he’d just hang out with you that day.

But when he sat down next to you in class, you were grinning at your phone, giggling.

He smiled. “What’s got you so giddy today, huh?”

You turned your screen toward him. “I got Riki’s contact today… look!”

Jungwon’s smile faltered. He glanced at the name on your screen. Ah. Right.

He forgot about your tiny crush on Riki.

Nodding, he turned to the window, pretending it didn’t bother him. But the dull thump in his chest told him otherwise. I guess you’ll be busy that day. How lame.

Later that day, he was on the soccer field when his phone vibrated. Seeing your name, he grinned stupidly and opened the message.

You:

JUNGWONJUNGWONOMG

PLSPLSANSWERLOOKATURPHONE

Wonnie:

Ok what the hell

What is it?

You:

You are NEVER going to believe who just slid into the back of the library.

Wonnie:

Is it Jake again? Poor guy

Maybe Jay? Idk tell me

You:

Nishimura… Riki…

Jungwon stared at the screen.

Riki? Well. It was about time. He had been into you without a doubt.

Scoffing, Jungwon typed back.

Wonnie:

… Fr?

Maybe he confessed to you?

You:

Right, totally.

Jungwon frowned. You could be so oblivious sometimes. To more than one person.

Wonnie:

Think about it.

Setting his phone down, he exhaled sharply. He had a weird urge to see you. Maybe you wanted to talk about it.

He sighed, packing up his things and heading toward the library.

As he neared the back entrance, he spotted Riki slipping out. Their eyes met for a second, but neither spoke.

There was something in that look. Knowing.

Jungwon clenched his jaw and walked past him, slipping inside unnoticed.

Then, his eyes landed on the box.

For a split second, he hesitated. Then, without thinking, he stepped forward.

Glancing around, he reached inside. There were a lot of letters. But he found Riki’s almost immediately—a pink envelope decorated with tiny white hearts, his name written neatly on the front which was uncommon for love letters being left vulnerable in a box.

Jungwon stared at it. “What an idiot.”

Without thinking, he plucked it from the box, turning it over in his hands before slowly opening it.

Inside, a note.

Hey, I don’t really know how to start this. Okay, so… I think you’re really annoying. But for some reason, I like how annoying you are. You’re incredibly nosy, but I don’t mind when you peck at my life. I don’t know when I started to feel this way, but I know how I feel now. I like you. A lot. Too much, actually. If you feel the same, then… I don’t know. You’ll know what to do. You always do. — N.R.

Jungwon exhaled, rubbing his temples.

If you knew about this, you’d be over the moon.

And yet—before he could stop himself—he shoved the letter into his bag.

Why?

He convinced himself it was to toy with you. Something deeper inside knew other wise.

When Jungwon saw you through the student council door, scanning through all the love letters, he felt a soft pang in his chest. You were looking for Riki’s… he knew it.

When he entered, he played it off—laughing, smiling—knowing he had the one thing you had been waiting for this entire year. But when the opportunity came to fess up, he couldn’t. He just couldn’t.

When Riki stepped in, both Jungwon and Riki locked eyes. It didn’t even last a second, but the way he looked at him… he knew. He definitely knew that Jungwon had grabbed the letter.

Jungwon excused himself, whispering, “Good luck,” into Riki’s ear. A small part of him meant it. It was more for you.

He walked slowly to the locker room, overthinking about you and Riki. Overthinking about you and himself. What is this? It hurt. It hurt so much.

He was caught off guard by a hand on his shoulder. It was Jay, another friend of his.

“Hey man, where’s your girlfriend?” Jay asked with a knowing grin.

Jungwon blinked, still walking toward the locker room. “Girlfriend? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jay sighed, glancing around before looking back at him. “Don’t play dumb. You know I’m talking about Y/N. Did you confess yet?”

Jungwon stopped, causing Jay to stumble a little. Jay looked at him, puzzled.

Confess. Did he like you? Is that what this is?

That’s what he thought about for the rest of the day.

He liked you.

He liked you.

He liked you. You. You. You.

He fumbled on the field, spaced out during conversations, and excused himself from after-practice hangouts.

When he got home, he immediately went to his room, throwing himself onto his bed and sighing at the ceiling. The moment of peace was interrupted by a vibration in his right hand. He brought his phone up to his face and saw your contact. You always called him after his practice.

He answered, bringing the phone to his ear. “Hey.”

“AHHHHHHH, Wonnie! You won’t believe it! He likes me back! Isn’t that crazy? For some reason, his love letter went missing—some weirdo took it. But he confessed to me!” you squealed from the other line.

He smiled a little at your happiness, ignoring the heaviness in his chest. “That’s great Y/N… You guys dating now?”

“Actually, we’re taking things slow. He blabbed about needing to take care of something first.”

That made Jungwon sit up. “Take care of something?” he asked.

“Yeah. No clue, but it doesn’t bother me. I’ve been waiting long enough—I can wait a little bit more.” You smiled to yourself.

Jungwon thought. Riki didn’t need to take care of something. He needed to take care of someone.

“I’m sure it’ll happen soon,” Jungwon said, trying to sound reassuring.

You sighed at his words. “Thanks, I feel like the happiest girl in the world.”

Jungwon didn’t respond to that. “I’m pretty tired from practice. Talk to you later?”

“Oh! I’m so sorry, Wonnie! Of course—sleep well, alright?”

“…You too.”

And with that, he hung up.

Jungwon stared at his phone, the call screen fading to black as the weight in his chest settled in. His fingers curled around the device, gripping it tighter than necessary.

He likes me back!

Your words replayed in his head over and over, each time pressing harder against the part of him that had only just realized the truth.

He liked you.

And now, he was too late.

Jungwon exhaled sharply, tossing his phone onto his bed before running a hand down his face. The ceiling blurred in his vision as he lay back down, feeling—what was this? Emptiness? Regret?

He wanted to be happy for you. He was happy for you. You were his best friend. That’s what best friends did. They supported each other, no matter what.

But then why did it feel like his heart was being squeezed in a way that left him breathless?

Riki still hadn’t officially asked you out. That was something, right? But Jungwon knew it wasn’t for the reason you thought.

He needed to take care of someone.

Jungwon scoffed to himself, letting his arm drape over his eyes.

Riki knew. He definitely knew.

And now, Jungwon had a choice to make.

Does he let this be? Pretend his feelings didn’t exist, swallow them whole, and stand by your side like he always had?

Or does he do something about it?

His fingers twitched at the thought, but deep down, he already knew his answer.

Jungwon had never been the type to back down from a challenge. But this—this wasn’t some game. This wasn’t a competition he could win just by trying harder, running faster, pushing himself more.

This was you.

And if anyone deserved to be happy, it was you.

Even if it wasn’t with him.

“Pass it!” Jungwon yelled across the field.

He had been practicing all morning, through breaks, and even during lunch. Soccer was his escape—the only thing that drowned out the noise in his head.

But that peace was shattered when he spotted a figure standing by the benches near his stuff.

Riki.

He stood there, arms crossed, gaze steady. His expression was unreadable, but Jungwon knew exactly why he was here.

Jungwon hesitated for only a second before calling for a break. With a deep sigh, he jogged over, wiping sweat from his forehead before sitting down on the bench. He didn’t look at Riki, just grabbed his water bottle and took a sip.

Riki sat beside him, wasting no time.

“Do you know what happened to my letter?”

Jungwon glanced at him from the corner of his eye, then turned his gaze back to the field. “Why are you asking questions you already know the answer to?” His voice was flat, expression unreadable.

Riki exhaled through his nose, nodding slightly as if he expected that response. “Why?”

Jungwon leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You know the answer to that too.”

Silence stretched between them, heavy and suffocating. The distant shouts of players and the sound of cleats against the field felt worlds away.

Finally, Jungwon sat up, patting his thigh before standing. “Is that it? I’m pretty busy.” He nodded toward the field, crossing his arms.

Riki stood too, this time meeting Jungwon’s gaze head-on. His voice was calm, but there was an edge to it.

“However you feel, take it out on me. Not her, she cares for you.”

Jungwon clenched his jaw.

Riki let the words linger before turning on his heel and walking away.

Jungwon watched him go, fingers tightening around his water bottle. His chest felt heavy, like something was pressing down on it, suffocating him.

He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply before kicking the bench. It barely moved, but it was enough to make his frustration bubble over.

Why did Riki have to say it like that? Like he was some selfish idiot who didn’t already know that? Like he didn’t already hate himself for it?

With a forced breath, he shook his head, pushing everything down, just like he always did. He had a game to focus on.

Without another glance at the benches, he jogged back onto the field, forcing himself to get lost in the only thing that still made sense.

A week after that encounter with Riki, Jungwon found himself in your room. He was doing homework while you sat beside him, pouting at your phone. He glanced at you and smiled.

“What are you grumbling about?” he asked.

You sighed, putting your phone down and continuing with your work. “It’s nothing…”

Jungwon raised a brow. He had never seen you this down before. “What? Tell me. You always tell me what’s wrong,” he pushed.

Pouting, you looked at him with puppy eyes. “It’s Riki… It’s been about a week, and I haven’t seen him or heard from him. Do you think he ghosted me?”

Jungwon stiffened. He had overheard from some guys that Riki had gotten into serious trouble with his parents and now had to work overtime at his part-time job. He sighed, looking at you. You were so obviously heartbroken. Should he tell you?

Or should he be selfish?

This was his chance. He could win you over. He could show you that he was here. That he would always be here.

He gulped, staring back down at his work. He was selfish—just for a moment. But then, he heard a broken sniffle come from you. His eyes snapped to you, watching as you tried to dry your tears, a fake smile on your face as if pretending everything was okay.

His heart dropped. Did Riki really mean that much to you?

Jungwon quickly moved next to you, guiding you to rest your head on his lap. Your cries softened as he gently patted your head, just like he always did.

He looked down at you—your eyes shut, your breathing slowing, the tension in your body fading. And then, softly, he spoke:

“I overheard that he got into some pretty big trouble and is working overtime at his job. He probably didn’t want to trouble you with that stupid mentality of his.”

Your eyes shot open. You turned your head, looking up at him. “Really?”

He nodded. “Really.”

In an instant, you shot up, grabbing your jacket and shoes. “Gosh, that jerk. Where does he work? I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind. Text me the address?” you said, pacing around the room.

Jungwon watched you, unable to find the right words. He wanted to stop you.

Before you could rush out the door, he stood up and grabbed your wrist. You looked up at him, confused. “Wonnie? What is it?”

“I—uhm.”

This was it. He should tell you now. If he didn’t, it would kill him. But as he looked at you—eager, desperate to see Riki—he exhaled and let go.

“Take your umbrella. It’s raining.”

You smiled, running past him to grab it. “Thanks! Leave whenever you want! And don’t forget to take some leftovers home!”

And just like that, you were gone.

Jungwon stood frozen, staring at the empty space you had just occupied. Slowly, his eyes wandered around your room.

The walls covered in posters. The notebooks scattered on your desk. The lingering scent of your perfume.

It was all so familiar.

His mind filled with memories—the time you both got front-row tickets to your favorite band and shouted while holding hands, the nights he stayed up to bring you food when you were sick, the first time you hugged him while crying into his chest.

And yet, despite all those moments, despite everything he had done for you… he never came to terms with his feelings.

A tear slid down his cheek before he even realized it. He wiped at it absently, staring at his damp fingers in disbelief.

Then, without warning, the tears came faster.

He sucked in a shaky breath, trying to stop them, but his chest tightened, and his knees buckled beneath him. He collapsed onto the floor, hands gripping the fabric of his pants as silent sobs racked his body.

It was too much.

The love he had buried.

The longing he had ignored.

The pain of watching you run to someone else.

He had lost you.

And the worst part?

You were never his to begin with.