#that’s when he adheres to Batman’s rule

[ghost-bxrd]

Slightly dark/insane batfam who is overjoyed to have Jason back from death is one of my favorite aus ever. Like imagine Bruce being oh so proud of his son who ended entire gangs and built an empire in a matter of months before he even turned 19. Ofc he's gonna brag to this fellow JL members. His kid is just so driven and smart! Jason has no idea if they were always like this or if his death made them this way but he's not complaining (much).

Ooo that would be interesting!

Like, a Batman who still doesn’t kill and adheres to his moral code but has absolutely no problem if his kids turn murderous. He’s a proud and supportive dad either way, the only rule he has is that they keep it strictly to criminals and leave alone the regular civilians.

He went a little cuckoo when he lost Jason. As did Dick. (And Tim wasn’t sane either way lmao)

[dahliadew]

Danny Fenton goon union representative (dp x dc fanfic prompt)

At no point in Danny's life has he ever turned down a challenge, even when he had to deal with opponents bigger than himself. From dealing with everyone from Dash to Vlad to heck pariah dark, he's learned to take down people bigger than himself. So when he overhears that his nice father of four neighbors has been having some trouble at work and has been unable to get some time off, he figures it can't hurt to try to help such a nice guy out. And it does go ok, all things considered; I mean, what if the guy's boss was the penguin, and so what if Danny maybe had to show off some of his less-than-human characteristics to get him to agree to let the guy have some time off? Everything worked out at the end of who cares.

Well, when word gets out that someone is not afraid to go tow to tow with the city's villains, someone's bound to either take him out or hire him. And when word gets around that he's willing to help get better working conditions for Gotham's goon workers, their union could use a new representative.

So Danny inadvertently gets a new job, wherein he gets to meet many strange characters around the city and help many friendly working-class people with their problems. Interchange the goons help hide Danny from the bat, and his no meta-rule, even if Danny doesn't know they're hiding him. But this does cause some problems because people like black mask don't necessarily want to pay for their goon's vision care or overtime and refuses to adhere to any of the union's demands. Danny, for what it's worth, did warn the guy because, unlike black mask, he has the goon's respect and knows that they will listen to him, so when he proposes a strike, they readily agree to his suggestion.

And with all of this going down so quickly in the city, both batman and the red hood need to get as much info on this new player before things get even more out of hand. But with all of the normal underground information channels refusing to give them anything, they are forced to schedule a meeting with not only the union but its infamous leader, which is good for Danny because he wasn't sure how to get into contact with batman anyway. He has some concerns with the level of violence used to take down some goons. And well, when they have no choice but to work in this industry, they should, at the very least, outline a clear code of conduct for all parties involved to ensure the safest possible work environment.

[antebunny]

a summer is sold

[part six of my fae!Tim AU. masterpost here]

~

Bruce returns to the Unseelie Queen. He steps through the fae circle with the trusty protections of salt and iron. It is quite unlike Batman to use tools that are so low-tech, but he will not deny the efficacy of that which has protected humankind from the fae for thousands of years.

“Unseelie Queen!” Bruce shouts. Last time the forest of mushrooms simply melted into a clearing where he placed his protections and conducted his business. Today, the poisonously red caps simply grow and grow until the mushrooms tower over him.

The smell of organic matter decaying and a swirl of turquoise leaves. She arrives in her usual fashion. Ten feet tall and dressed in a gown of rushing rivers and starlit nights. A gray face and the smile of nightmares. The Unseelie Queen attempts of human beauty and misses in a manner so violently unsettling, so uncanny-valley-upsetting, that even Batman feels fear.

“I have come to make a new deal.” Bruce shows no fear. Rule number one.

“Oh?” The Unseelie Queen bends down until her back splits in four places and they are eye to eye. Screams dance madly in her silver-violet-smoke black eyes until Bruce drops his gaze to her chin. “Do you wish for me to take back my gift?”

Not Jason. It is love that pangs around Bruce’s heart, love that morphs into fear when she threatens Jason’s life out of curiosity. 

“You overreached,” Bruce accuses. He will not acknowledge her threat. Rule number two: admit to no emotion but rage. “You made a deal with Tim for humanity. If he fails, he leaves.”

This is once again educated guesswork on Bruce’s part. He’s still not sure what the Unseelie Queen is getting out of all of this. But Tim clearly wants to stay in the human realm. How else to punish him but to make him leave? 

“If he leaves, you’ve failed your bargain with me,” Bruce continues. 

The Unseelie Queen gnashes row after row of teeth to dust until her frustration works itself out. “You cannot make a deal on his behalf.”

“And you can?”

Bruce’s bargain with her depended, from the very beginning, on her right to bargain Tim away. He had believed, when she first handed Tim over, that Tim was a subject of the fae, a member of the Unseelie Court, and therefore hers to do what she liked with. A loyal subject. A spy meant to serve as the Unseelie Queen’s hand in a realm she could not otherwise reach. 

But Tim delights in the cuisine explorations Dick and Jason take him to. He soaks up Barbara’s computer crash courses, which is quite unusual for a fae; they are notoriously tech-averse. He yearns to be human. If there is any chance that Tim truly wants to turn away from the Unseelie Queen, then it is the morally right thing to do to keep him away from her. Batman has offered hand after hand to the most irredeemable villains; what is one more to a strange little creature who may still be a child by the standards of the fae? 

Moreover, it is in Bruce’s and his family’s own best interest to expedite Tim’s process of becoming human. If Tim’s deal with the Unseelie Queen doesn’t work, he may attempt to become human by eating one, or by stealing the skin of one, or whatever else a fae’s mind might think up. Suppose, even, that the Unseelie Queen has no jurisdiction over the humanity of her subjects. It made sense to Bruce that she could de-fae whoever displeased her, but he knows now that she makes promises vastly out of her reach. Perhaps she has no humanity to offer Tim. Then it is still in Bruce’s best interest to keep Tim away from her and teach him the morality of humans. 

“Very well.” The whistling shriek of wind in the trees escapes the Unseelie Queen’s nostrils. “What is your proposal?”

“I keep Jason, no strings attached.” Bruce doesn’t need Jason one slip-up away from dying again. “I keep Tim. If he fails his bargain with you–”

“Do you love him?” 

Bruce, caught flat-footed, adheres to rule number two.

The Unseelie Queen cycles through a magnificent number of eldritch recreations of faces, yet maintains the air of leering. “Do. You. Love. Him.”

Rule number three: do not lie to the fae.

“No.”

Another hiss akin to howling wind issues from the Unseelie Queen in fits and spurts. Not until she calms does Bruce realize she was laughing.

“He may be your responsibility now,” the Unseelie Queen concedes, “but he will always be mine before he is yours. You may keep Jason. But if dearest Timothy fails, he will return to me.”

Now it is Bruce’s turn to gnash his teeth. But he follows rule number one and hides it behind the stiff line of his cowl. “Three-fourths,” he suggests finally. “He’s done that much. Cancel the bargain you have with him right now and take one fourth. You’ll have him in the summers. I’ll take him the rest of the year. And I keep Jason.”

He waits patiently as an awful cacophony of bird calls, the clicking of beetles, and all the untempered rage of nature arises to spite him. The Unseelie Queen sways, collapsing into an eight-legged beast rampaging around the mushroom forest one second, then whirling into the purple sky the next. A tempest. A temper tantrum. The Unseelie Queen throws a hissy fit when she realizes that she cannot get away with her double-bargaining this time. That because of her habit of trying to have her cake and eat it too, her favorite toy is at risk of slipping away. Bruce always offers second chances, but in this instance he finds himself entirely out of sympathy.

“Fine,” the Unseelie Queen hisses once she finishes throwing a tantrum. “I accept.”

Bruce does not love Tim. Tim is not his son. He acts on moral imperatives. His heart opens glacially slow. If they had more time, perhaps Bruce would come to love Tim and see him as one of his kids. Perhaps he would not have had to fight the Unseelie Queen for 75% of Tim’s life. But the summer is escaping, and Bruce knows when compromises must be made even if he detests them.

Now he just has to tell Tim.

[celaenaeiln]

Heck speaking of that last ask, whose to say even for Dick’s more professional and cordial moments with those outside his family or closest allies, whose to say those aren’t a front to mask his more serious and strategic cunning to through those other people off guard if they’re suspected of doing bad?

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ASKED THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE SPOT ON!!!!

This actually happens in canon but this time it's within the family.

In Batman and Robin Eternal the whole Batfamily is forced to a clean up a lethal mess that Bruce wasn't able to solve during his and Dick's days. Their opponent is a woman named "Mother" for which she is aptly named because her brilliance and manipulation were so high that Bruce was forced to admit defeat, unable to deal with her.

During the investigation, the rest of the batfamily is blissfully unaware of Tim's actions, histories, and secrets-except Dick.

While leaving the rest of the family in the dark to avoid raising suspicions, he goes to get some answers.

Of course he would never betray his family's trust without some evidence.

While Jason and Stephanie are busy yelling at each other, Tim quietly sneaks away to answer a call by "Mother." Dick is at the Drake's while this is happening thus indicating that both Dick and Tim have their own share of secrets and battle plans.

He asks questions about Tim to his parents as if he's never met Tim before. Someone should get this man an Oscar.

Of course everything goes to hell when an operative of Mother's shows up and starts firing at Dick. Tim's mom utters a codeword that isolates her and Jack and also notifies Tim. Dick neutralizes his opponent.

And then Tim shows up.

"It's your secrets, Tim. I respected your privacy. Never looked too close, until that became a luxury I couldn't afford...I thought you weren't one of Mother's children. Hoped you weren't. But I had to know."

While Tim is rightfully hurt, but the thing is-they can't trust anyone right now because Mother, their enemy, is inseparable from the batfamily. She gets into people's heads and uses them as operatives over their entire lifetimes from childhood to adulthood. And first and foremost, Dick is a detective. It's ingrained into him to identify any threat and act accordingly.

This scene is extremely important because Bruce was almost killed by Mother and Dick loves Bruce. For his part Bruce almost killed their world just so Dick could live and reversely, Dick would do anything to make sure Bruce was safe.

But here's where Dick's manipulation and cheerful demeanor come into play. The batfamily has no idea how good Dick is at manipulating people.

When Dick runs off to do this, they only say

They have no idea.

Dick never does anything without a plan, a backup, and a safety net. The only mistake in their understanding is that while they think that Dick looks for a safety net second, they don't know that Dick's already created his own net and the one they see is the one Dick tossed out to his allies when he needs them to catch him.

Even now, Tim only found out because his mom activated the alarms in his house. If Dick's enemy hadn't blasted in and opened fire at him then it's suffice to say that everyone would be none the wiser about his little side quest.

I don't think the batfamily will ever realize how cunning he is. They see him as a kind older brother who is too adherent to Bruce's rules. Afterwards Jason makes fun of Tim in an older brother way by implying if he's mad at his mommy lol.

The DC vs Vampires and why every single member of the family was blindsided was because they underestimated him and never expected it of him. That's how good of a manipulator Dick is and that is why they will never know.

Tim once said Dick was "ranting and raving" in Arkham during Future State but for someone who had supposedly lost his mind, he still was the reason they defeated the government and came out on top. Future State: Nightwing is a peak example of Dick's genius when it comes to controlling people even if it seems like lunacy from the outside.

Everyone sees him as the nice one and Dick is the nice one of the family but when his family's life comes into danger he will unearth any secrets that he let you have in order to keep them safe.

So basically he'll let you do anything: keep secrets, lie to him, ignore him, but if you endanger his family he is coming for you because as the song lyrics goes-

"I may be next to you but you don't know I'm undercover."

And that is what makes his character so excellent. The greatest spy and threat the good has ever had.

This is my favorite personality trait of his because he's the James Bond and Mata Hari of DC.

[laufire]

Ask meme: Duke Thomas, or Jason Todd (or both, dealers choice)

I have no idea of what Duke is doing rn in the mainline, so I'm gonna sidestep that and cheat, because what I'd want to write for him isn't a comic: it's his introduction in the animated show Batman: The Caped Crusader. He'd be perfect for it, and there's already an incredibly easy way to introduce him, as Joker's arrival and laughing gas is set to be the plot in s2. He's the only Robin I want in that show tbqh. Bring him!

The show would want to grow him up a bit, though I'd want him to be in his teens still, and for this to be An Issue. They'd probably want to remove the meta aspect, which I can understand; I could work either way. The point is that he'd be someone doing things on his own, taking matters into his own hands, and not Batman's second. More like how he started in the comics.

A cool design is mandatory -the show is a mixed bag in this department, and particularly bad with the men. Do NOT give him short hair. Have fun with him, animators.

For Jason I have basically THEE post gotham-war/brainwashing run in my head. It'd start with him getting gravelly, irreversibly injured due to what Bruce did to him, in a way that would force him to change how he approaches superheroing, among, u know. His entire life. My top choice at the moment is blindness, but there are others.

The run would drag him to his lowest point before he raises up. Like, the injury would happen while trying to save someone, who dies horribly because he can't overcome the toxin this time! Maybe a kid, because I'm not above doing what Gotham War writers refused to.

I'd also pair it up with an old idea I had when I still entertained the possibility of writing prime earth fic: Jason facing the consequences of adhering to the no kill rule, with someone he let live killing again, Jason becoming fixated on the victim... eventually decing to give up the "acceptance" he got to follow his own morals, for his own peace of mind.

Combined, he wouldn't be able to go at perpetrators the way he used to; between the toxin that reacts to adrenaline and the injury, I think he could take a more distant, macro approach to crime fighting. His goal is to permanently stop his targets; sometimes that can be done non-lethally. Sometimes, it really can't.

But we're definitely bringing the saw-traps back. He also loves dramatic irony and would enjoy pushing people to hang themselves with their own rope. Metaphorically. Or...

Anyway. LOL. Bonus Duke & Jason idea! I have quite a few, but those are strictly new earth (with my own headcanons about how to introduce Duke in it!), and I'm still determined to avoid that for this ask game.

DC wouldn't let me go as far as the above, but hey, maybe I can injure Jason and put Duke through his own identity evolution (I don't like the signal name and also in this pocket universe of mine the batclan is in shambles añlsdkfjf. Changes are ahead) and have them team up. Jason can be the guy in the chair. IDK about the plot but I'd include a lot of cameos from other characters, Just Because. I'm thinking Tatsu, because why not. Jeffeson Pierce, because he and Duke have a established dynamic I find interesting (and also, we could re-canonize "Pay As You Go"!). Mia, because I'm launching that ship. Talia, because again, why not. Gotham Girl, who also has an established dynamic with both of them. I'm re-canonizing Sasha and Colin too, because this would be a 100% Gotham-focused run. Just watch me.

[sparkplug02]

I remember a post where someone said that Batman isn’t adopting orphans to turn them from children into vigilantes so they’ll end up like him (a hero), but that he’s adopting orphans to turn them from vigilantes into children so they’ll end up like him (not a villain). I think the point was that most of the Batkids were already on a path that could potentially lead to crime and villainy by the time Bruce got to them, so taking them under his wing and mentoring them kept them from losing their way. Can’t find the post again, but I feel like reprocessing it by rephrasing it for myself.

You can’t make choices for people, but people have to have the choice in the first place. If you don’t have the resources and the support to harness your pain and suffering and channel it into something productive and honorable, it has the potential to become something much worse. If you don’t have the means to heal, then healing isn’t going to happen. In the case of Gotham, ‘something much worse’ appears to happen on a semi-regular basis and results in a new member joining Gotham’s Rogue gallery.

I’m a firm believer that once Bruce realized the best way to keep crime down was to intercept the would-be-Rogues before they arrived at the point of violence, Wayne Enterprises started pouring as much into Gotham’s welfare and societal infrastructure as waynely possible. The existing Rogue gallery is kept at bay through cooperation with Gotham PD, trying and failing to make Arkham Asylum effective, and being the Batman. They will die, not by Batman’s hand but one way or another, eventually. What if Bruce could starve out the violence and the crime? What if those who made their choice and refuse to change their ways bear the consequences of their actions, grow old, and no one picks up the slack behind them? What if people see that, BECAUSE Batman refuses to kill and forces the villains to face the music rather than escape through a quick death, villainy isn’t the answer and doesn’t fix anything? All villainy earns you is a punch in the face and a trip to jail or an understaffed asylum. If you want your life to get better, you have to find another way because crime clearly won’t work. Sure, this would never deter everyone, but it might bring the numbers down just enough to make a difference.

And then Bruce finds these kids. Kids who are alone or hurt or stubborn or scared and for one reason or another, Al even at their young age, they’re already at risk of choosing the route of villainy. They have the reasons, they have the motivation, they have the skill. Bruce looks around and sees that no one else is stepping up to intervene.

So he redirects them. He establishes himself as their primary authority figure (just as Alfred did for him, whether he had the same mentality as Bruce or not) and lays the no-killing rule on thick. He trains them and makes them better than the villains that already are and the villains that will be and the villains they might have become without him. He gives them a place to call home, if they so choose. He lets them be kids, he lets them be HIS kids, and slowly the family builds over time. He gives them a choice to reject villainy and he makes it enticing. He makes heroism look a little more fun, he makes it seem a little bit easier, and he makes them a little bit braver.

They make their own choices. Not all of them adhere to the no-killing rule the way Bruce does. Not all of them stay home and dwell in Wayne Manor full time. Not all of them even stay in Gotham.

But they don’t become villains. With very few exceptions, the Batman rarely stands against his kids. Whatever they are, it’s miles away from what they might have been without Bruce. It made a difference. The danger Bruce saw when he met each kid did not come to pass.

[pollackpatrol]

basically i dislike batman: the chalice because it demonstrates a poor understanding of both the real life history of the grail (well, "real"... as we all know i am adamant in the belief that no such vessel ever existed, or if it did then it has not been preserved), and a poor understanding of arthurian canon... though since it alleges that the waynes are descended from sir gawain, the 2nd one is wayy more important.

it also posits possessing the grail as "cool", when... i don't think it is? like, in order to be worthy of it you have to heavily adhere to medieval codes of chivalry (which are of course incredibly christian), and doing that in the modern day is just lame. actually it's not just the medieval chivalric codes--you have to be christian to a truly ridiculous degree. these days that's not really seen as admirable, just stuffy at best

(though to be clear i'm not complaining. i like modern rules of politeness just fine.)

it's also just disrespectful tbh. like why is batman a grailkeeper when he's barely even christian*

(*i know he's nebulously jewish but afaik he himself has never been portrayed in canon as jewish despite participating in christian traditions such as christmas many many times. also, this was published before that)

[starryturrtle]

riddler x Bruce headcanons yippie

Aaa ok!! I personally don't ship riddlebat but I think the ship is cute so srry if it's out of character!!<3

Cw for stalking lolz

• Bruce calls edward "ed" because Edward doesn't like his name and Bruce thinks it's kinda cute(he'll never admit to it tho)

• Edward has a photo album dedicated to Bruce and is constantly take pics of him without Bruce knowing

• Edward writes a lot of love notes for Bruce but rarely sends it to him

• They solve crimes together on date nights‼️(edward loves to help solve the difficult puzzles for bruce)

• Both their sleep schedules are extremely fucked up so they see eachother at the most random times

• Edward has extreme attachment issues and is constantly all up in Bruce's space(bruce tolerates it for the most part)

• Both autistic so when one or both of them get really burnt out they just sit together in silence and watch a show they both like and hold hands

• They both go to operas together for dates!!

• Edward is very touchy while bruce finds being touched uncomfortable so they typically settle for holding hands

• Edward has ocd so bruce does everything he can to a adhere to Edward's "ocd rules"

• Edward forces bruce to watching cheesy romance movies(bruce acts like he doesn't like them but Edward knows he secretly does)

• Edward stalks every single person bruce has ever dated or talked to on social media

• Bruce will see things he thinks edward would like and buy them for him

• Edward stalked Bruce months before they met

• They met in a diner at like 1am bruce was getting coffee after a night out being batman and edward followed him there getting the courage to talk to him

[zalrb]

Thoughts on The Penguin So Far

Since a couple of anons wanted to know my thoughts on The Penguin as someone who isn't into comics/doesn't read the comics or watch the animated series or knows anything about canon, here they are:

The Penguin is certainly better than The Batman mostly because Colin and Cristin can act, which ... if not makes me emotionally invested in their characters, it at least makes them watchable because I don't find the actual plot or that much of the script super engaging, it's actually quite typical and feels kind of like the storyline you would find in a formulaic B-list mob movie or show but Colin and Cristin's performances elevate that and Rhenzy Feliz is solid.

I am having trouble with Vic's character just because it all seems to be happening way too quickly, like on the one hand, you watched your parents die, like, a week or two weeks ago and seem pretty well-adjusted (and so did his girlfriend) save for one panic attack in a club, on the other hand, you were a straight-laced kid with a loving family before this happened, mentioning you want more in a one-off conversation with your dad before he dies doesn't really sell me on his descent and him choosing to follow in Oz's footsteps rather than run away to California with Gabriela or even him and his friends trying to steal rims, like I don't see how we got here. If the point is that the city has abandoned them and it's chaos and nihilism after the events of the Riddler and so he's kind of like fuck it and just started down this path that Oz takes him fully down, a) I think it needs to be more than a couple of weeks to have passed b) I need to see that more in Gotham.

Like I sort of posted earlier, I do wish Gotham was more of a character in this, I wish I didn't feel like I was just watching a nondescript city that could be any major city, I want to see the weirdness and chaos and scumminess of Gotham.

For Sofia's backstory and what happened in Arkham, I get it, but it's a storyline like this where I have issues with when shows/movies decide to ground the comics in a sort of "realism" because if I go with comic book logic, if I go with the zaniness and the unhinged energy of the 90s Batman movies for instance

Sofia's dad sending her to Arkham for 10 years as punishment for talking to a reporter, not even actually going through with ratting him out to one, and the one-dimensional doctor putting her through electroshock therapy and creating circumstances for her to harm another inmate to keep her locked inside, done in a way that lacks nuance, I'm going to go with it, yes, that is absolutely what happened, sure.

But with the grounded "realist" tone of the show, it makes it hard for me to suspend my disbelief because I expect the show to treat this development and treat this story the way a regular drama would and therefore expect more time given to the circumstances, to Sofia's time inside, to what happened behind the scenes with her father and the judge and the doctors, I expect it to be treated seriously and it's not quite treated seriously in the show, it's treated like it's adhering to the conventions of comic/superhero rules.

For the most part, I find Oz's motivations and him wanting to run things and wanting respect and not wanting to be laughed at, and kind of playing the compliant fool to be well-executed if not fairly pedestrian but every once in a while there's a line or exchange in an episode that sells the poignancy and disrespect in emotionally effective ways like when Sofia asks Oz "what are you doing inside?" and Colin plays Oz's response with such subtlety but very effectively. I wish we had more of those types of moments.

All in all, it's not a bad time, and I'll continue to watch.

[fancyfade]

Why does fandom insist that robin exists to be the light to Batman’s darkness and to remind Batman keep his no kill rule because Batman is robins mentor and robin is supposed to learn from Batman that there are better ways than to kill people

(Dick: wants to kill mob guy idk his name

Jason: street kid with such a big chip on his shoulder that he tire-iorns Batman

Tim: outlier exists to force Batman to actually cope with his grief but was lonely I guess

Damian: raised by assassins and forced to do unspeakable things)

Batman should not need the presence of a child to adhere to his own moral code

I mean sadly fandom will sometimes insist* on it because it is one of the canon interpretations (link). it's an incredibly boring interpretation that I don't like, but it was pushed heavily when Tim was becoming Robin, and he was like THE Robin for many people.

I think that most of the Robins who want revenge (Dick, post crisis Jason) are not really like thinking killing people is the best way to solve their problems, it's more of born of grief and anger. My preferred interpretation is that Bruce taking them in helps them become not like him, and get past their grief, which I think is the superior version.

*tho i more of see it in fandom from people who don't like it but blame bruce for it, b/c IG he controls the meta narratives of DC comics XD

[billygaysanguine]

ok ive already listed why scapegrace is a narcissist but now im gonna explain why he has ADHD as well. will update as time goes on

1. clumsy & unbalanced. always running into shit and tripping and falling over. she literally cannot stop falling backwards over chairs istg. (also the sentence from mortal coil "Scapegrace forgot how to walk like normal people." that's iconic. me too bestie)

2. short attention span. he switches tracks on what kind of person he wants to be at least four times throughout the series. impossible to pick an ambition and just stick to it especially if he doesn't nail it the first time

3. he's creative!! as evidenced by the implication that he made the paintings in the torment's cellar, and his interest in not just killing, but killing to create awesome art. also i'm pretty sure he made his and thrasher's vigilante masks himself based on the fact that stephanie thought they were shitty masks💀

4a. sucks at making and keeping friends. her earliest recorded group of friends took advantage of her & then tried to kill her. when she tried to join the revenger's club she didn't try to engage with anyone (and was said to be surprised when someone actually did try to have a conversation with her). in her first interaction with thrasher she called him stupid and smacked him around and then offered a ride to a perceived crazy girl (clarabelle) within five minutes of knowing her. she only managed to become kind-of friends with valkyrie and skulduggery because she decided they were friends now and valkyrie decided it wasn't worth the effort to argue. girly does not know how to be social which brings me to point

    4b. poor social skills. he just doesn't seem to fully understand or have the capability to adhere to traditional social rules. he overshares; half of his interactions in playing with fire were people telling him to shut the fuck up because he wouldn't stop talking about himself. he doesn't know how to read the room; he thought the torment would protect him from skulduggery (he didn't), he approached valkyrie as if she actively had some special agenda against him (she didn't, really), and he referred to people who didn't like him as friends (related to 4a as well). he doesn't know what's going on like ever

5. he has a journal

6. he's not a fast thinker when the situation demands it. he's a lil scatterbrained all the time, but in moments of stress his brain is EMPTY. please dont put him on the spot he will DIE

7. a lot of what she does is influenced by media and pop culture like we all know when she decided to be the dark and stormy knight she was thinking of batman and the concept of a zombie king is prevalent in horror media. and how could we forget slasher crasher dasher and basher. she is always trying so hard to fit into character archetypes

8. she sleeps weird

[docgold13]

Batman: The Animated Series - Paper Cut-Out Portraits and Profiles

Mayor Hill

Hamilton Hill was a successful lawyer in private practice before running for public office. He initially won a position of Councilman and gradually matriculated through the ranks and was eventually elected Mayor of Gotham City.  

One of his first acts as mayor was promoting the construction of Stonegate Penitentiary under D.A. Harvey Dent's request, with help of Bruce Wayne and the Wayne Foundation.  Early in his tenure as mayor, Hill was highly critical of The Batman, going so far as to assembling a task force to take down the Dark Knight led by Detective Harvey Bullock.  Although Hill’s attitudes toward the hero mellowed after his son Jonah was rescued by Batman.  

During his time on the city council, Hill was associated with Temple Fugate, who ran an efficiency consultancy that contracted with the city.  Hill recommended that Fugate learn to relax and not adhere to such a staunch personal schedule.   Fuguate would go on to blame Hill’s advice for his being late to a ruling that resulted in the bankrupting of his company.  Years later, when Hill was running for his second term as mayor, Fugate resurfaced as the villain known as The Clock King.  Herein, Fugate attempted to humiliate and murder Hill.  Fortunately the mayor was saved by Batman.  

Hill was one of the city luminaries abducted and replaced by a robotic duplicate by HARDAC.  He was also kidnapped by the villainous Lockup who felt Hill was too lenient on crime.  Some time thereafter, Hill was held captive by The Joker who threatened to blow up the city with a nuclear bomb.  On all of these occasions, Hill was saved by Batman.

Actor Lloyd Bochner provided the voice for Mayor Hill with the character first appearing in the second episode of the first season of Batman: The Animated Series, ‘On Leather Wings.’  

[laufire]

there's a scene in "cold comfort", an episode from the new batman adventures (you might've seen it around on tumblr) where timmy todd has failed a civics test. tim says he doesn't care about what a district attorney does, bruce tells him he doesn't know anything about the american justice system, tim replies it's "bogus". when bruce asks how did he come to "that well-thought-out conclusion", tim, cheeky, replies "watching you", saying that bruce doesn't exactly follow the rules of due process (bruce tries to change topics asking about his math test).

and it's a funny moment and all but (because I'm me) it made me think of it in the context of jason's character. first, idk if the show does anything more with tim in an academic setting, but this is a contrast with new earth!jason that speaks to a more "stereotypical" idea of a street smart kid.

second, while presumably tim would've seen the flaws in the system before as well, this moment carelessly implies certain ignorance (like i'd care about what a district attorney does when I was a petty thief / you don't know the first thing about the justice system, do you) and jason's mistrust on the system came across as coming from someone who, thanks to his experience, had a really good grasp on it, and that said knowledge was what made him mistrust it. he preferred to be on the streets that in the hands of gotham social services (my personal headcanon was that he was under their care previously for a little while, and then things went sideways and he had to run). he runs from ma gunn's. he argues for penguin's potential rehabilitation to bruce. etc. etc.

and third, jason's journey was more about... first, seeing the flaws in the system, then agreeing to work with bruce in what seems an alternative, better way, then seeing the flaws in BRUCE'S system, the way victims still fell through the cracks. this scene puts the sole focus on bruce's worldview, with tim (even if it's part of a joke) adhering to bruce's. this is literally the third episode, I know there's more, plus comics, so maybe they do more to build up tim's independent views (though idk if it'll be within is vigilante tenure or as part of the return of the joker's plot, whose specifics I don't recall well).

either way. food for thought.

[deliciouskeys]

001 for Butchlander and 002 for Homie, because I love to be obvious!

Tackling them out of order.

002 | Homelander

* How I feel about this character: 

I want to mush him and squeeze him and torture him and pet him and never let him out.

Oh and he’s a very interesting character and a joy to write. Somewhat as a result of the writer’s room, and somewhat as a result of Antony Starr’s acting.

* All the people I ship romantically with this character: 

I’m a whore, I will read him having sex with just about anyone, and I could make a case for him getting romantic with many characters on the show. Top romantic (heh loaded word) ships are Butchlander, Homewell, Maevlander, Starlander.

* My non-romantic OTP for this character: 

I honestly don’t know what this question means because all my ships are horny ones. But I wish we got more Black Noir being a father figure to him (I wish Noir had more to do in general before they decided to give him some background just before killing him off).

* My unpopular opinion about this character: 

Hmmmm. I’m a little afraid that if Kripke writes him a “redemption arc” in the show they’ll botch it with some incoherent drivel à la s3e8 so I’d almost rather they just didn’t.

* One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

I have more than one.

I’d rather see him depowered and live than die at the end, somehow.

I would have liked to see more of him trying to parent Ryan with Becca around.

I kind of wish he hadn’t killed Stillwell but mostly because I thought she was a cool character.

I wish he hadn’t taken over Vought because that decreases the chance we’ll ever see him operate outside of it.

* my OTP:

Billy Butcher reprogramming HL with tough, but genuine, love. And sex, definitely lots of sex. [refer to section below for much more word vomit about them]

* my cross over ship:

Heh, I think Makima from Chainsaw Man has a nice parallel to the Homewell dynamic. I’d read Batman x HL, I feel like Batman could deal with his bullshit effectively.

* a headcanon fact:

Homelander prefers his sexual partner be strong and wield soft power over him.

============================

001 | Butchlander

* when I started shipping it if I did:

Because I was watching the show very rapidly, I didn’t start shipping it outright until S1E8, but if I had a week between each episode it probably would have materialized no later than E6.

* my thoughts:

Scorchingly, achingly hot. The show canon is stingy with their onscreen time together, but each scene they meet in is glorious. One of the reasons I’m willing to overlook the inconsistent writing in s3 is that they are ramping up the butchlander element in the show. I love that they have ended up sharing a child while both being utterly unequipped to parent. I don’t remember any other enemyslash pairing setting that up and it’s so damn fun.

* What makes me happy about them:

I like to imagine scenarios where their respective traumas and defects (I don’t think they’re “the same”, kripke) fit together in such a complementary way that they end up accidentally helping each other become a little more emotionally functional.

* What makes me sad about them:

One of them lost his wife because of the other and that is a hard wound to heal.

* things done in fanfic that annoys me:

I don’t like when Billy cries too much. I don’t like when writers go all out with Butcher’s cockney but it sounds like Dick van Dyke (easy to criticize, hard to adhere to this rule). I’m more tolerant of different HL characterizations because I think canon has shown us more variety from him in different scenarios, but I tend to enjoy it less when he’s written as a sadist monster with nary an indication of any other emotions.

* things I look for in fanfic:

Generally prefer Bottom the Homelander [not because he has a better ass, but] because the fic is more likely to characterize both of them in ways I find more IC. Generally like when they at least start out antagonistic and hating each other if it’s a multichapter. Love when there’s an element of coparenting Ryan involved. Love when it’s an E rated fuckfest because [I’m here for the porn canon won’t give us, and] they are both presented as characters with energetic libidos.

* Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: 

Honestly? I feel like they’re both likely to end up alone, because I feel bad for whoever ends up with them if they’re not a strong person. Billy with Maeve, as alluded to in the Maevlander post seems fine endgame to me. Butchie is a big fat nope for me, not only because of Annie but because it gives me incest vibes since he sees him as a younger brother. Billy with some strong woman like Rainer probably works. Homelander… needs someone who can spank him if he gets out line. If Victoria Neuman can become that person remains TBD.

* My happily ever after for them:

Haha, I’ll take almost any iteration where they end up together and parent Ryan. I’m intrigued by Billy getting upgraded with Compound V and how they’d keep from becoming a terrible powercouple of supe cunts. I’m intrigued by HL getting depowered and Billy having to rehab him into being a functional human being out of that mental wreckage. I’m intrigued by them staying as human x supe, with both of them having a weird love hate relationship with being involved with a “race” they generally looked down on.

* who is the big spoon/little spoon:

Billy is the big spoon. I will only entertain the thought of HL being the big spoon if it’s written in Russian for reasons I can’t quite fathom and must have something to do with early childhood traumas 😂

* what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

They are pretty different people in terms of pastimes in canon. I named enjoying the outdoors in another meme. I’d like to think they’d also both enjoy having (or aspiring toward having) a normal family life, raising a child as if they’re normal, well-adjusted adult men, doing normal domestic things. Emphasis on the as if.

[lirenel]

Batman and Discworld

Right up front I’ll say my consumption of Batman materials consists of having liked the ‘Batman and Robin’ movie in the 90s (yes, the one with Freeze and Ivy) and reading Batfamily fanfic, so take this as it is.

But I just finished reading Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series and all I could think of is just...what would happen to Gotham if Vetinari and Vimes and the Vimes family ended up in Gotham?

Because I can just see it: Batman has no idea where this new mayor comes from and he has some...odd...ideas about how to control crime. And he added some rough dude to be Gordon’s right-hand man at the GCPD who Batman would think was from Crime Alley except he keeps complaining about the streets feeling wrong? And his wife has somehow made herself in charge of the mutant lizards down by the docks, creating an entire sanctuary out of tape and trash while talking like she’s from Bristol?

The Batfamily starts investigating. The Red Hood quickly switches sides when Vetinari hires him to control the Crime Guild: Jason now legally controls all of crime in Gotham, though the Crime Guild has its own subguilds like the Thief Guild and the Drug Guild and the Seamstress Guild (Jason doesn’t get why Vetinari keeps calling prostitutes ‘seamstresses’ but the woman in charge of the subguild likes it so he lets it go). Jason can also ‘deal’ with anyone who goes against Guild rules with impunity and even gets rewarded by the duly elected head of Gotham’s government.

Batman is gritting his teeth because he’s dealt with corruption before, but this is something different because Vetinari doesn’t try to hide it and people love him for it. Gordon even loves it because Vimes took one look at the GCPD and is now vigorously helping the commissioner root out bad cops and making them work while being just as down to earth and chain-smoking as the rest of them. And of course, Vimes won Gordon’s best-friendship when the man looked up to the shadows and said ‘Stop standing over there and come do some actual work, Batman’ before the vigilante could reveal himself. Seriously, Vimes has never not seen the bats in the shadows, even Black Bat, and Gordon loves how frustrated it makes them.

And the thing is, if Vimes were working for anyone else other than the obviously corrupt and crime-controlling Vetinari, Batman would also love him because the man absolutely despises guns. Like, won’t use one, hates to see his men using them, will go out of his way to absolutely trash any gun that comes into his hand, doesn’t even say the word correctly. He’s a family man, devoted to his wife and son, and seems to get Gotham despite having no record of ever living there before. But even if Vimes seems to hate the man, he’s clearly Vetinari’s dog so Batman can’t trust him.

(And no, it has nothing to do with the fact that Damian is now working part-time at the Sybil Vimes Mutant Lizard Sanctuary and comes home every time excited to talk about the Vimes family and Little Sam is his best friend and Lady Sybil - yes, Father, I said Lady Sybil, she is deserving of the title - is the best at getting the lizards to not spit venomous tar at people and Captain Vimes seems to really understand the criminal element of Gotham with a mix of understanding and absolute adherence to justice and. It has nothing to do with the fact that Jason regularly has dinner meeting with Vetinari and introduced him to Alfred who took to Vetinari like fire and more fire. Nothing to do with Dick teasing him about being seen in the shadows. Nope, Batman knows Vetinari is up to something and he will stop it.)

(Vetinari is up to making Gotham actually a livable city. His way worked once, it should again. Now if only Bruce Wayne would stop dressing up like a vampire and getting in his way and fall into line, that would be great.)

[jmoriarty-221b]

Ok so I’m reading Titans Tower AUs where Jason goes ‘kill the Replacement’ straight to ‘must protecc the child’ real quick (those are the best) and I just read the part of the dialogue where Tim tells Jason that he’s been cleaning up Gotham ‘the easy way’ in reference to how the Red Hood is a killer

And now I’m thinking of this piece of dialogue in a new light because, what if Tim Meant that literally like “have you ever had to disembowel someone with just a spoon???? No, you use guns to kill people and actual knives to decapitate their heads instead, you noob. Only real killers know how to decapitate someone with a pencil and let me tell you that it’s harder than it seems”

Meanwhile Jason is all offended because did Robin, the one who follows Batman’s no kill rule, just criticize him on how he kills people instead of criticizing him for, you know, actually Killing people???

I can just imagine this conversation is going on in the kitchen of Titans Tower with Tim in his pajamas and Jason in full Red Hood gear in the doorway because this was supposed to be an ambush but now he’s actually kinda offended because of course he could kill someone with a spoon and threatens Tim again only for Tim to flip that Uno Reverse card and literally arm himself with a spoon, brandishing it in front of himself like it’s a knife, and just going like ‘bitch I’m not Robin right now so let’s go, I’ve been a little out of practice and it’s so nice of you to offer to be my next victim’ with a little creepy grin on his face and suddenly Jason feels the embodiment of the meme: *nervous laughter* “what the fuck”

Somehow, Tim manages to pry Hood’s helmet open with the goddamned spoon and hey, Jason should really buy some silverware like that and he’s half tempted to ask Tim where he bought it from, and damn who knew a spoon would be such an effective weapon and oh my god this kid is actually crazy why does he know how to use a spoon as a weapon Jason better not go out via spoon now that’s just embarrassing; at this point there would be no life threatening injuries on either one of them, though Jason did manage to cut the kid’s throat at some point and got a spoon to the shoulder for his troubles but now they’re both tired, the Pit of Green Juice is quiet in the back of Jason’s head and ok, maybe he can, begrudgingly, admit to being impressed at how well Tim can fight with a spoon but it’s mostly just concern as to why he knows how to fight with a spoon and Tim is just like ‘Look Jason, yes I know, don’t look at me like that, just, let’s call it a truce and go patch up because I don’t want to kill you but I will have no problem strangling you with your own intestines if you keep trying to kill me ok? Ok’ and at this point Jason really doesn’t think the kid’s joking all that much so he agrees to the truce between them (let’s face it, having the Big Bad Red Hood get taken out via spoon would just be so embarrassing that Jason wouldn’t find peace even in death)

And it’s not until they’re both patched up that Jason decides it’s safe enough to ask about why Tim said that he’s not Robin right now (there’s no more spoon in Tim’s hands but he’s still on alert because the kid is just insane enough to try and bite him); and Tim’s like “uh, yeah I follow B’s moral code as Robin but I’m not particularly attached to it? Like, it’s not my moral code, whatever that is, and I’m not actually part of the family so just think of me as more of a close coworker? Anyway, I am and will always be a Drake, my family motto is literally ‘May Our Enemies Choke on Their Blood While Our Hands Remain Clean’ so you can get a picture of how I grew up, and to answer your questions, yes I have killed people, no I don’t really regret it, they were really bad people, yes i will throw hands again, no the Bats have no idea, and yes I have had to decapitate someone with just a pencil and disemboweled someone with a spoon, so yes I am actually qualified to complain about how easy you people with guns and knives have it when it comes to killing people because I would’ve loved to have had at least a pocket knife back then, hell I would’ve taken a sharp icicle but no, the only thing available was a pencil so I had to make do, also no, I really don’t want to kill you, I actually like you but please stop coming after me and we can just meet up to kill some of the more evil Rogues sometimes, we can even make it look like an accident”

Jason is just so Shooketh at this point that he will just focus on the last sentence for now because he doesn’t have the brain power to battle through that dump of information right now so he’s like ‘what would you know about setting up accidents Timbit’ cue Tim being like ‘well, it wouldn’t be all that hard to just mislabel a few chemicals in Joker’s newest hideout and have him blow himself up while trying to make a batch of Joker Gas, a sort of poetic justice when you think about it’

Basically, an AU where Tim wasn’t trained by Bruce first so he has a different moral code (whatever it is) and has been in just enough crazy situations to warrant his bizarre skills with a spoon