#that’s like her two responses to everything
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jellybeanium124 · 3 days ago
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if you'll allow me to flaunt my psych minor for a second, I'd like to talk about epigenetics. there's studies that show that if you shock a rat when you let them taste a certain flavor, they will immediately become averse to that flavor. not surprising. what is surprising is that the rat's grandchildren, who have never been shocked when given that flavor, will also be averse to it and afraid of it and avoid it. there's also correlational evidence to suggest that the descendants of people who suffered through famine are more likely to put on weight and keep it on easier, even if they have never been through a famine themself.
trauma gets passed down. the kinds of trauma your parents, grandparents, and so-on lived through is still living in you. even if your parents were the most well-off, loving, best parents in the world, their trauma is still in you.
now if you'll allow me to take a slight turn here: there's a wild rabbit inside every jew.
my dad grew up being called "jew-boy." my mother had a coworker throw pennies at her at her job in the 2010s. and that's just two examples. they both grew up being harassed for being jewish. I wasn't. I'm incredibly lucky. the amount of antisemitism I've experienced in real life has been incredibly minimal. I didn't even hear anyone make an antisemitic joke in front of me until college.
and none of us were seriously persecuted. none of my grandparents were seriously persecuted. but even though nobody's broken my windows, nobody's beaten me in the streets, and I haven't been at any of those horrible protests in person, the fear is there. this deep seated, blood-pumping fear of the ancient jewish rabbit in me telling me to run. to run for dear life, to run as far as my legs can get me, as long as my heart keeps pumping and my lungs keep breathing.
we all feel this.
everyone feels this.
I called my mother yesterday. when I brought up this feeling she paused, and the silence said everything. she told me I wasn't alone. she feels it. my dad feels it. my brother feels it. my nana and grampa feel it. every jew you know, online, in real life, hell, even the famous ones, they feel it. the rabbit is inside us all, and the rabbit knows, because its brothers who didn't flee in the past were slaughtered.
the rabbit is leaping around my chest, all of our chests, chanting run run run run run run run.
I don't know if I can explain it to gentiles. I don't know if this makes sense to you. I don't know how to get across how crystal clear and deep and primal this fear is, and how much all of us are feeling the exact same fear, despite our different lives and different histories and the fact we're different people.
part of me wishes it didn't matter. that I didn't feel like I needed to get goyim to understand my specific cultural and ethnic experiences. because I don't feel like I need to deeply understand everyone else's. I am a white passing ashkenazi american jew, and I will never fully understand what it is like to be anything else. that doesn't dissolve my responsibility to educate myself and practice empathy, but it's ok. idk, maybe other people do desperately wish they could get people not in their specific group to deeply understand what it's like to be them. I imagine that feeling is universal. I guess, it's just like, the left is unified that everyone is a person, everyone is equal, everyone is human, except the jews. nobody is left out but the jews. everyone's word is believed, but the jews. and it makes me feel like I have to beg and plead with people to understand what being jewish means, because we're not included with everyone else. we're the enemy. and I want people to see we're not the enemy.
epigenetics.
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ddarker-dreams · 2 days ago
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Cherubim.
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Gojo Satoru x F Reader x Geto Suguru.
Warnings: Implied trauma, Gojo and Geto are both weird + manipulative. Word count: 6k.
-Index-
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March 18th, 2006. 
2:26 p.m.
-
Gojo Satoru has found himself embroiled in his greatest turmoil yet. 
Assassination attempts? That’s nothing, he’s waved those off since he was a kid. Jujutsu politics? The higher-ups can yap until they’re blue in the face; they’re all bark, no bite. Curses? Similarly inconsequential. No matter how much power they hold, they're reduced to speckled splatters the instant they cross his path. 
For most, experiencing one of these dilemmas would prove too overwhelming, much less all three. He isn’t like most, though. He’s strong. Incomprehensibly strong. He can weather any storm, shift the tides of any battle in his favor. Has this gone to his head? Absolutely. He can handle ‘too much.’ It’s ‘not enough’ that’s proving to be an issue. 
This is why he’s detailing his recent woes to an uninterested Ieri Shoko, who made the mistake of reading in the dormitory’s common area. 
The scene is as follows:
Satoru’s along the length of the couch, his long, lanky limbs dangling wherever they can. He lays his head against the armrest, snowy hair succumbing to gravity in an avalanche that frames his face. He uses his ability to keep his sunglasses from meeting the same fate. Behind the dark frames, his eyes narrow into a piercing stare. If the ceiling were sentient, it would’ve fled by now. Such is the potency of his miserable mood. 
Parallel to him sits Shoko, the fat of her cheek squished upward from resting on her fist for so long. Books, candy wrappers, and notes from last year’s curriculum yet to be thrown away litter the table’s surface. Suguru’s could put a calligraphist to shame, even if they were written in a Badtz-Maru pencil you won from a gachapon. Your notes stand out as well. They’re bright shades of your favorite colors, organized according to a system of your own devising. Occasionally, the handwriting shifts, taking on Suguru or Shoko’s likeness for trickier kanji. You doodle hearts of gratitude around the yomigana they include for good measure. 
(You complained that his handwriting was ‘indecipherable’ when he tried doing the same. Out of spite, he gave you the cold shoulder… for three minutes. He withers and wilts without your attention). 
He sighs and concludes his monologue. 
“So, that just about sums everything up. Well? What’s the prognosis, Doc?” 
“You’re in desperate need of more friends,” Shoko replies. Satoru lets out an unsatisfied grunt. “And you miss [First].” 
Satoru perks up at your mention, finally giving that poor ceiling a much-needed reprieve. He shuffles around until he’s facing Shoko. 
“But she just headed out yesterday.” 
“I know.” 
“That’d make me really weird and clingy, right?” 
“Glad you’re catching on.” 
While Satoru contemplates the previously unconsidered possibility of him being ‘really weird and clingy,’ Shoko reopens her manga. She’s of the mistaken belief that the issue has resolved itself. Unfortunately for her, the problem extends beyond Satoru’s insatiable hunger for you. The problem is Satoru himself. Until he’s running amuck elsewhere, there’ll be no solace. 
She commends herself for her patience. 
In typical Satoru fashion, he continues testing it. 
“When was the last time you updated your passport?” 
“I’m not flying to her home country with you,” Shoko shuts down what he thought was a brilliant plan. “It’s just two weeks. Wait it out.” 
“What if we fly first class?” 
“Gojo.” 
“Yeah, yeah, it’s still too soon to meet her parents. It’s gotta happen eventually though, right?” 
Shoko doesn’t dignify this with a response. 
Satoru sinks into the cushions. Could there be anything worse than boredom? He has no missions lined up, you and Suguru are visiting family, and the first-years haven’t arrived yet. Pestering Utahime has lost its charm too. He could return home before the school year starts, but he’d rather have his fingers chopped off one by one than suffer that torture. 
“Hey, Shoko.” 
“Mm.” 
“Why aren’t you back home? I thought you got along with your parents.” 
“They’re both busy. I wouldn’t see them much.” 
Satoru doesn’t press the matter. 
It does intrigue him though — the relationship sorcerers have with their non-sorcerer families. Or, to be more specific, yours and Suguru’s familial dynamics intrigue him. Satoru can’t (and doesn’t bother trying) to care for the going-ons of anyone outside his small circle. This is more the hubris of a teenager who has been told he’s special his entire life than anything malicious. To Satoru, the world’s population might as well be stuck at three. 
Regardless, it’s an improvement.
Before meeting Suguru, those in his life consisted almost exclusively of suckups or stuckups. If he was unlucky, it’d be both, rolled into one terrible package. This was his reality. Jujutsu was his reality. He was the first to possess the Limitless and the Six Eyes in generations. The Gojo clan wouldn’t waste such an extraordinary opportunity. He was their pride and joy, personality aside. 
He was born to be the strongest. 
He can’t imagine any other life for himself. 
Then there’s you. 
He could see you leading a normal life. You wouldn’t be top of the class or a varsity athlete, but you’d be well-liked. Boys would nervously ask you out on dates and buy you roses with money they got from mowing lawns. You’d be the first one your friends would call when they experienced heartache. Maybe you’d go to college or land an entry-level job. Some co-worker with a decent sense of humor would win you over. Then you’d get married, rent a property, have a few kids… 
Satoru’s stomach twists. He grimaces, shifting his thoughts elsewhere. Namely, the question that’s bothered him for a while. 
Why did you become a jujutsu sorcerer? 
It was intentional. You chose to leave behind your home, your family. You knew the risks. How the body can break and ache in ways previously unrecorded. And what do you get in return for this thankless crusade? Sleepless nights where you tremble like a leaf beside Shoko? A nimbleness at dressing wounds that could only have come from years of practice? 
You’re open about everything until you aren’t. Fear, mortality, loss — when confronted by these unsightly truths, you retreat to someplace he can’t follow. 
Satoru can’t make sense of it. Neither can Suguru. Shoko says they shouldn’t press the matter. He wants to, though. He needs to know how you break. How else can he ensure that you never will? 
He thinks back to that humid August day. The binding vow eviscerated your insides, shards from fractured bones dug into your organs. Until that point in his life, Satoru prided himself on his immunity to fear. The pathogen never lasted long in his system. After all, fear is born from a lack of control. From having something to lose. If he couldn’t lose, what was there to be afraid of? 
It’s a question he’s been avoiding. 
(“If she dies,” he told Suguru, in a voice he barely recognized as his own, “They die too.”)
His mouth feels dry, his tongue heavy. He’ll drink that tea you’re fond of later to satiate his thirst. He wonders if you share its taste.
“What’re you reading, anyway?” he asks, hoping to take his mind elsewhere.
“Fruits Basket.” 
He laughs, incredulous. 
“Seriously? Didn’t take you for a shoujo type.” 
“I borrowed it from [First]. We’re doing a book exchange over break.” 
A book exchange… three words Satoru never thought would pique his curiosity. However, anything about you demands his undying attention. Even if it’s shoujo manga. Girls who read that genre do it to project onto the heroine, right? So the love interest must have appealed to you. What tropes do you like? Do you want a shy, sensitive soul who blushes and stutters in your presence? A misunderstood bad boy who’s only soft around you? The responsible student council president? 
Oh, he’ll have so much material to tease you with when you return. He can’t wait. 
“How do I enter this exclusive book club?” Satoru demands. 
“You don’t. I don’t trust your taste,” Shoko replies, much to his chagrin. “You can still read it, though. She has all of the volumes in her room.” 
… Your room? 
He grins from ear to ear.
Should he respect your privacy? Probably. Is he going to? Of course not. He never has, there’s no point in starting now. 
This trip of yours might yet redeem itself. 
-
Along the outskirts of Jujutsu High, Geto Suguru spots an odd woman. 
She’s wearing a baggy graphic tee, low-rise jeans, and gaudy bracelets on both arms. Her black hair is tossed up, thick strands sticking in every direction. Even from this distance, he can discern the silver glint of piercings that dot her ear like constellations. The stranger stands slouched, both her hands shoved into her pockets. For her to have gotten this far, she can’t be a civilian. Those unfamiliar with jujutsu can’t find this place. 
He stays still for a spell — watching and waiting. From this distance, she shouldn’t be able to sense his presence. It’s one of the few areas he excels at over Satoru. Satoru’s cursed energy is bright, blindingly so, a thunderous clap that can be heard for miles. Suguru prefers to keep his muted. It coils around his limbs like a serpent, never straying far. This is why you had no difficulty picking out Satoru’s stupefying presence on your first day, whereas he had to make himself known to you. 
Suguru’s lips quirk up. 
He was fated to meet you. 
“Hey! Kiddo!” A deep, somewhat raspy voice exclaims. He blinks rapidly, temporarily thrown off. “This ain’t an art gallery. What’s with the staring?” 
She noticed him? How? 
When the stranger starts slinking his way, he regains his composure. 
“I apologize. It wasn’t my intention to make you uncomfortable,” Suguru’s cadence flows smoother than a river. 
“Hah! ‘Uncomfortable?’ That’s a way of putting it,” she pokes the space beneath her emerald eyes twice. “Even now, I can feel ya picking me apart. Shit’s creepy.” 
His smile tightens. “I’ll be more mindful of my conduct in the future, then.” 
She waves him off. Her golden bracelets clink together as she does so, the sound grating his ears. 
“That’s a lie if I ever heard one. And I should know. Schemers excel at picking out their brothers in arms,” she juts her head up, giving the impression that she’s the one looking down on him, despite the slight height difference. 
“Anyhow, by the looks of it, you must be Sugu-kun.” 
… Did she just call him Sugu-kun? 
“What? Too soon* to be calling you that? Heh, heh…” 
Suguru’s smile tightens. “You can refer to me however you like, so long as I can return the favor.” 
She guffaws.
“Maaan, Goldie sure was gracious in her description of you,” the woman gives him a lopsided grin. “Name’s Akane. There — is the playing field leveled now?” 
“Ishimoto Akane?”
He doesn’t miss the way she winces as her surname is spoken aloud, rather pointedly at that. 
“Ah. S’pose I had that coming.” 
Suguru decides against prolonging her torment. He’s in a generous mood, it isn’t every day he has a chance to learn more about you. This is an opportunity he’ll take full advantage of. 
“And I presume 'Goldie' is [First]?” 
He makes a mental note to figure out the wordplay for your nickname later. 
“Full marks.”
Suguru hums, a sound indicating that he’s drifting deep into thought. 
You don’t mention your mentor often. When you do, it’s normally in the form of endearing (if not mildly concerning) anecdotes.
“She told me that natto is bits of caramel held together by melted marshmallows, like a Rice Krispy Treat. It… it was not like a Rice Krispy Treat…” 
“... For my twelfth birthday, she got me Pokemon Ruby. I remember crying because Roxeanne’s Nosepass took out my Torchic. My cursed energy spiked and the party had to end early…” 
“... Out of curiosity, I drank her stash of Georgia canned coffee. My heart rate was almost high enough to warrant a trip to the ER…” 
Getting anything else relating to her out of you was like trying to wring water from a rock. Suguru didn’t miss the wistful melancholy underpinning your stories. You recalled them with a far-off expression as if mourning that those days of whimsy were over. Initially, he considered it a consequence of growing up. Childhood idols rarely remain highly esteemed as the years pass and maturity accrues. 
His intuition argued that he should examine the issue closer.
(“I met her, y’know,” Satoru mentioned whilst he spun in a rolling chair ‘commandeered’ from Yaga. “Akane. Our girl’s mentor. Former mentor? Whatever the case is.” 
Suguru sat his pencil aside, any investment in his studies gone.
“When?” 
“Last March.” 
Suguru sighed. “And you didn’t bring this up earlier because…?” 
There’s a twinkle in his companion’s sunglasses-covered eyes.
“Must’ve slipped my mind,” Satoru shrugged. 
Liar, Suguru thought, unamused by Satoru’s faux nonchalance. He must’ve had his reasons for neglecting to mention it for so long. Suguru figured your impending trip home had something to do with Satoru’s ‘miraculously’ cured amnesia. 
“What? Don’t tell me you aren’t curious.”
The provocation failed to irk him. Instead, Suguru refocused the conversation.“Tell me your impression of her.”
Satoru stilled, threw his feet atop Suguru’s desk, and placed his hands on his neck. “About what you’d expect from a disgraced daughter of an influential clan. Bad-tempered, tattooed, pierced up… hah! Bet her old man would go into cardiac arrest if he saw her.” 
“Satoru,” he implored. 
“Fine, fine. So impatient,” The white-haired sorcerer complained. “I misread her. She got all mopey after she fessed up about Cursed Technique: Null. I wrote it off as envy. The student exceeding the master, or whatever.” 
Satoru remained silent for a moment. “Post Kaizu, though, I assume the feeling actually gnawing at her… ” 
Kaizu. 
Panicked phone calls. Satoru’s agitated exclamations. His horrified silence. Your breathing faded, theirs accelerated. You looked so small. So human. He scarcely believed the limp girl cradled in his arms just executed such a devastating maneuver. Your cursed energy had exceeded any output he’d felt from you before. It was too much, your body wasn’t ready to endure a spike like that. 
Suguru had never felt so distant from the title ‘strongest.’
At some point later on, in a hospital waiting room, Suguru posed a question. 
Satoru heard him yet offered no response.
“Who taught her how to do that?”
“... was guilt.”)
“You didn’t visit her.” 
Akane blinks. 
“Hah?” 
“You didn’t visit her,” Suguru repeats, his tone firmer. “[First]. Your student.” 
She exhales shakily. Suguru thinks she looks tired. 
“If you have something to say, just come out with it already.” 
He was prepared to wear her down for hours — this willing cooperation saves him time. Although, it doesn’t make navigating the volatile minefield that lies ahead any easier. He knows how to rein Satoru in when he’s going too far. He can fluster you without giving too much of himself away. After rescuing someone from a curse, he knows the exact pitch, timbre, and tempo necessary to pierce through their abject horror. He’s a virtuoso at playing people, a conductor hidden amidst the audience. 
Deceit. Misdirection. Coercion. 
His repertoire is expansive and ever-growing. 
From what he can see — what he can feel — the prodigal daughter before him boasts a similar discography. She returns his unflinching eye contact as if issuing a challenge. Daring him to use dubious methods that might work on anyone else. This obstinate resolve reminds him of you. Once you’ve determined your course, even he struggles to change the route.
He abandons all pretense. 
“You didn’t want her here,” he theorizes. Akane’s face reveals nothing. “You knew something like that was bound to happen.” 
Sorcerers aren’t only at war with curses. No, there’s an inner battle that must be fought as well. The recognition that the next assignment could be your last. And if it is, you won’t be commemorated by the masses; to them, you don’t exist. Your sacrifice will be known to a select few who mourn you, or  a few who don’t. Everything could go right. Everything could go wrong. Engaging in that high risk for such a low reward goes against one’s self-preservation instincts.
How each sorcerer handles this fight is unique to them. 
As for your strategy — you refuse to acknowledge this conflict exists. 
Paradoxically enough, that functions as your self-preservation. 
Akane smiles thinly. She’s almost his reflection, in that regard.
“Full marks.” 
-
Suguru idly observes as Satoru paces back and forth, his troubled figure illuminated by a row of vending machines. 
A nearby street lamp flickers. It’s late, but the local convenience stores glow with artificial light, tempting customers to come inside. Some are weary salarymen grabbing ready-made meals, others are middle schoolers clinking their change together, praying they can afford a sugary treat. The latest group cheers, indicating their triumph. 
The duo receives odd looks — thanks to their school uniforms, no doubt — not that they pay the judgment any mind. No one troubles them. Not even a wandering policeman, who, under normal circumstances, would scold minors out by themselves at night. 
Suguru theorizes that Satoru’s ominous aura is what subconsciously repels them. 
Earlier today, Suguru bid farewell to his parents and boarded a train for Tokyo. As nice as it was to spend time with his family, he’d been looking forward to reuniting with you and Satoru. He amassed quite the phone bill thanks to your frequent correspondence. Nonetheless, he carried the minor debt with pride; it’s a sign you often thought about him. He planned for Satoru to assume the debt by dangling the pictures you sent his way as ransom. 
His encounter with Ishimoto Akane grounded his soaring mood. This was made worse when he entered the dormitory, only to find a tight-lipped Shoko and agitated Satoru. 
Shoko remarked that unlike the two of them, she’d be handling things with ‘tact,’ and retired for the evening, not wanting to catch their ‘stupidity contagion.’ 
It’d been hours since then. That time stretch brought them closer to revealing the complete picture, but a few pieces remained missing or incomplete. 
The frenetic sorcerer stills and rummages around in his pocket.
Suguru takes the opportunity to break the silence. “I—” 
He cuts himself off as Satoru whips out a familiar-looking chapstick. The cutesy design befitting your aesthetic stands out like a sore thumb in Satoru’s large, calloused hands. 
“... Where did you get that?” 
“[First]’s room,” is Satoru’s response, spoken nonchalantly whilst applying it to his lips. “Why?” 
Suguru snorts. Sometimes Satoru’s ungodly strength blinds him to the fact that he’s still a teenage boy. 
“Won’t she notice it’s missing?” 
“I replaced it.” 
“Ah.”
“She has plenty more in the drawer beneath her vanity if you want one.” 
Suguru knows the exact spot Satoru’s referring to. They both helped you assemble it (Satoru got bored fifteen minutes in and fell asleep on your bed but still claims credit). 
After noting this suggestion, he asks, “Have you calmed down?” 
Satoru barks out a ‘hah!’ as if he’d just heard a hilarious joke. “Me? Shouldn’t I be askin’ you that?” 
Suguru massages his temples, sensing the looming headache that awaits him. “Satoru…” 
“We could follow her residuals, you know,” Satoru suggests. He tips his sunglasses down, revealing eyes that gleam with predatory intent. “With the Six Eyes, it’d be a walk in the park.” 
“And then what?” 
“Oh, you know, chat about the weather, latest political scandals, that sort of thing.” 
“You can’t strong-arm yourself through everything in life, Satoru,” Suguru chastises. 
Satoru opens and closes his lips. He folds his arms, scrunches his eyebrows together, and rapidly taps his foot. The shift puts Suguru at ease. Satoru adopts this countenance on the rare occurrence he’s faced with a formidable threat. The serious, almost somber visage speaks to his ironclad resolve. Suguru may have told his companion that he can’t strong-arm himself through everything, but that’s a half-truth; the Gojo clan’s pride can do whatever he pleases. 
It’s consideration of the aftermath that Suguru wishes to instill in his companion. Tempering the arrogance of a God is no easy feat. 
“... She isn’t going anywhere,” Satoru declares, as if any other outcome was blasphemous. 
“She isn’t,” Suguru agrees. Then, he lowers his voice, adding, “We can’t disregard what Ishimoto-san is getting at, though.” 
“Simple — all our girl needs is a good ol’ fashioned intervention.” 
“An ‘intervention,’” Suguru deadpans. “Didn’t you already try that?” 
Satoru smiles in a way Suguru can only describe as dopey, reminiscing on the night you got ‘mad at him for wanting you to be mad at him.’ That’s how Suguru interpreted the detailed account Satoru gave the next morning, anyway. 
(“I wish she would’ve cried, just a little bit; it would’ve made her look extra cute,” Satoru cooed, to which Suguru shot him an exasperated look. “Oh, don’t act so high and mighty. You’d make her cry just so you could wipe her tears away.”)
Suguru shakes his head. “Here’s what I think — the self-sacrifice in and of itself isn’t the problem. Well, the main problem. There has to be a reason, something personal… identifying that takes priority.” 
A gust rips through the narrow street, howling as it terrorizes store signs and doors with weak hinges. The two strongest sorcerers remain oblivious to the drift. What occupies their mind is greater than any force of nature, insignificant or otherwise. They have the means to challenge natural phenomena itself. And they would, should they deem it an obstacle to their goals. This single-minded determination is what elevates them beyond the rest. 
“I guess the old man has a soft spot for us after all,” Satoru says, referring to Yaga, Suguru guesses.
Breathlessly, he chuckles. “Maybe.” 
Studying Satoru from his peripherals, he silently mulls over the far likelier reality—  
—that Yaga understands Satoru’s potential for saving this world is matched only by his capacity to condemn it. 
-
From a young age, Ieri Shoko found irony everywhere she looked.
It’s prevalent in the medical field she wishes to pursue. When stabbed, it’s better to leave the knife in than immediately pull it out. For an immune system to better defend itself from a virus, it must first be exposed to it in trace amounts. If an appendage becomes too infected, removing that piece of the body is better than keeping it whole. It was you who pointed out this theme extends into the world of jujutsu. 
“You’d think fighting to survive a curse instead of defeating it would be an okay alternative, right?” You had said. “But really… that just means someone else gets to foot the bill. All ‘cause you cheaped out.” 
She regrets not asking you to elaborate. At the time, the observation felt so personal, so intimately interwoven with who you are, that she thought it best to leave it alone. 
Watching you now, lounging on the swing beside her, she’s determined not to repeat her previous mistake. 
“Tired?” 
“Well, yeah,” you laugh. It sounds off. “I wasn’t meant for long flights. It takes everything out of me, y’know?” 
Shoko unsuccessfully digs around her pocket for a lighter. The search ceases when she recalls its inopportune location — left behind in her dorm room in the rush to be the one who reaches you first. Not sure what else to do with her hands, she folds them onto her lap. Meanwhile, you pick at a stray thread on your jeans. 
“I didn’t mean from traveling,” she clarifies. 
“Hm?” 
“How many curses did you exorcise back home?” 
Your fingers go still.
“I dunno… a few?” You shrug, stuffing your hands in your pockets. “If I happen across them, I’m not gonna just let them run amuck. That’d be irresponsible.” 
Your nonchalance comes across as forced. You may be keeping your words lighthearted, but she can tell you’ve dialed up your senses, monitoring her closely. It reminds her of a cornered mouse. It’s then that any lingering doubt over her choices leading up to this moment dispels. Resolve strengthened, she swears to make as much progress as she possible before those two catch on. She felt a bit bad lying about your flight’s time, but felt the situation justified the call. 
“It feels different when they’re close to home, doesn’t it?” 
Shoko’s eyes scan over the lively park before them. There’s a group of children playing with one another, some scouring the grass for bugs and others playing tag. Their guardians watch from a distance, chatting amongst themselves, likely discussing the upcoming poor weather or latest neighborhood scandals. Young couples walk hand in hand along the pathways, cheeks flushed from the joy of experiencing their first love. 
“Encountering a curse is draining. Fighting them, even more so. But when they’re on a street you walk every day, or a few blocks over from your house, you can’t help but start thinking. ‘What if I hadn’t come this way? Would it have hurt people I know? People I love and care about?’”
Her eyes find yours. “‘What if it killed them?’”
You look like you’re going to be sick. 
She ignores how your expression contorts her stomach and continues. “Sorcerers are in the minority, it’s true. So… fighting to survive isn’t selfish. It’s strategic.”
In the distance, the rough silhouette of two individuals grows clearer. The spotlight she commandeered grows fainter with their every step. In what remains of the fading limelight, she considers you. The CC cream that conceals the worst of your exhaustion, how your pupils dilate from high caffeine intake, then your fingers. The keys that when steepled just so, open the future for others at the cost of permanently locking yours. 
She reaches over and gently squeezes your hand. 
“Remember — we won’t be much help to anyone if we’re six feet under. So let’s aim to stay above ground.” 
-
The evening sun sinks into the horizon, demanding acknowledgment in its final moments by dousing all in a fiery hue. 
Your uniform absorbs the brunt of this last stand. The dark fabric devours the waning sunlight, heating you from head to toe. It didn’t fully occur to you that you were back when you walked through the torii gates lining the mountainous path. Nor when you unpacked in your dorm, stuffing your passport away until your next break, where it’ll serve you faithfully again. 
Instead, it was the simple act of putting your uniform on again that made home seem far, far away. 
You’d gotten used to your clothes smelling like your mother’s preferred detergent. It’s a brand you couldn’t find in Japan, sold exclusively in your home country. You wondered what meal your parents were having when you straightened out your collar. If your neighbor ever fixed that rumble their old sedan huffed out as you slipped into your tights. Whether your grandpa knew you’d landed safely when you brushed lint off your skirt. 
The campus atmosphere is serene. Tengen’s barrier is a bulwark against curses, insulating you from any potential threats. Without this assurance, some part of you was always on the defensive, anticipating anything when you slept in your childhood bedroom. It siphoned away your vitality, just like Shoko pointed out. 
You sniffle and kick a rock aside. 
How does it always end up like this?
First Akane, now Shoko, you hug yourself. I just want to protect others. What’s so wrong with that? If I don’t, then who will?
You pause abruptly. 
When Akane began mentoring you, the world as you knew it changed. Suddenly, you were given knowledge no one else was privy to, for they lacked the tools to comprehend it. You’d seen those ‘creatures’, but it was Akane that explained their malevolent nature. What they could do, the pain they inflicted, how defenseless the population at large was against them. 
The shadow that this monstrous threat cast could never be outshone by light. The best you could do was create safe pockets the size of pins in the darkness. That was the extent of your hope, the most bitter pill you’ve ever swallowed.
The lingering specter of Shoko’s reassuring touch prickles along your hand. 
It’s easy to forget you’re not alone anymore after fighting by yourself for so long. 
-
Eventually, you happen upon a clearing near the school’s main grounds. 
The steep inclines surround a sizable outdoor track. This area is known colloquially as the school’s training grounds. You prefer to train in a more secluded, wooded area, but not everyone shares your enthusiasm for subtlety. Namely, the two prodigies who have turned the field into a colosseum that’d rival the battles of ancient Rome. 
You take a seat on the grassy hill and watch what unfolds. 
Your eyes can scarcely follow the blows Suguru and Satoru exchange. Their sparring sessions are unreal — blurring the very fabric of reality. Somehow, they manage all this without using cursed energy. The spectacle you’re witnessing is simply hand-to-hand combat. It’s like watching a film with skipping frames. In a matter of seconds, they can travel a hundred meters and return to their original position. Your brain struggles to process the stimuli your senses are feeding it. 
They were already strong when you met them. But now? The nomenclature doesn’t exist to properly classify them. 
And in the future… 
There’s no telling what highs they’ll reach or the ceilings they’ll shatter. 
Their light is the most dazzling you’ve ever seen.
Within a few minutes, they conclude their training session. Satoru instantly beelines toward you, whereas Suguru cycles through stretches. There’s not even a single drop of sweat on Satoru’s body as he plops to your right. He’s wearing his signature sunglasses, despite the night's looming shadow. 
“Shouldn’t you be asleep or something?” Satoru asks. “It’s past your bedtime.”
You punch him lightly on the shoulder. He yelps out an exaggerated ‘ouch!’ rubbing the area to soothe the nonexistent wound. 
Suguru approaches at a far more leisurely pace, sending a wave that you return in kind. 
Satoru, not one to be forgotten, yells out, “Be careful, Suguru! She’s violent!” 
“Only against those who deserve it,” Suguru replies.
Fondness blossoms inside your chest as you laugh. You’d forgotten how simple life feels around them. It’s as if when the three of you are together, you’re swallowed by a pocket dimension, isolated from everyone and everything. Permanently inhabiting this utopia is a temptation. 
Satoru places his hands behind his head and lays onto the ground. “Here I am, potentially out of commission forever, without a single ounce of sympathy to show for it.” 
“We could always settle in court,” you offer. 
Suguru stands before you, hands on his hips. “Or he could finally figure out how to use reverse cursed technique.” 
At this, Satoru shoots back up, his sunglasses falling askew. “Hah? Last I recall, you gave yourself a headache giving it a go. At least I’m not that bad.” 
“Hurdles are necessary to improve. Without any, how do you know you’re truly making progress?” 
Satoru gives him a grossed-out look. “All this philosophizing is gonna turn your hair gray before you hit twenty.” 
“That’s rich, coming from the guy whose hair is already white,” You point out. “What’s that say about you?” 
Suguru muffles his laughter behind his hand. 
Satoru’s quick to overcome his incredulity. “It says that I’m going to spoil the next volume of Inuyasha. Sesshomaru—” 
You cover your ears and sprint off. “Can’t hear you, can’t hear you, can’t hear you…!” 
He chases after you, periodically shouting the names of the main characters right when you think he’s finished. You do your best to block out his voice, running like your life depends on it. He’s hot on your heels, cackling at your expense. After a stretch of silence, you uncover your ears, hesitantly turning around to check if he’s finished his torture. 
You meet Satoru’s gaze. His lips are parted, his eyebrows slightly raised. Your reflection in his dark lenses appears equally perplexed. He straightens his sunglasses and regards you with an unreadable expression. 
“... You’ve gotten faster.” 
The comment is so quiet, you’re unsure if you heard him correctly. 
“Hm?” 
“Nothing,” he dismisses, waving you off. “You shoujo-loving types sure take this stuff seriously. It’s almost cultish.” 
“I don’t wanna hear that from the guy who references Digimon like it’s some sorta scripture!” 
“Honda Tohru is a lame heroine.” 
You audibly gasp. “Wh— you take that back!” 
And so it’s your turn to chase Satoru, who, for reasons unknown, is oddly knowledgeable regarding Fruits Basket. 
-
“Could you guys be honest with me about something?” 
“All depends.” 
“Of course.” 
Satoru and Suguru’s responses come out simultaneously, the contents offering little reassurance. You’re not sure what you expected. Nonetheless, you press past the gnawing discomfort, your conversation with Shoko a fresh memory. 
“Did Akane stop by while I was gone?” 
You scrutinize their countenances for involuntary reactions that might betray their inner thoughts. You begin with Satoru, who was in the middle of cleaning his sunglasses when you posed the question. His eyes, which normally brim with mischief, have an eerie calmness about them; like sheets of ice that were once choppy waters. He smiles softly and slips his lenses back into place, undoubtedly aware of the intent behind your stare. 
Then there’s Suguru. He hums, as if finding your inquiry unexpected and not an inevitable point of contention. He’s a more challenging puzzle to decipher than Satoru. With the latter, you can roughly gauge the greater picture, blurry and incomplete as it may be. Suguru, on the other hand, hasn’t given you enough pieces to attempt a solution. 
Satoru continues mulling over your question while Suguru responds, “Is that what’s been worrying you lately?” 
So they picked up on it too, you think. 
Frowning, you shift in your seat. Blades of grass tickle your thighs and you push your skirt down. 
“Er… not that, specifically,” you admit. You feel like you’re surrounded by walls that know just how far to close in to give the impression you might be crushed. “I just… I’ve been thinking. About why I’m here— what I’ll go on to do. And, well…” 
Much to their surprise, you stand, squeeze your eyes shut, and bow ninety degrees. 
“For so long, I’ve carried this burden. The truth is, when I first learned about Null, I was relieved. I’d always have something to rely on in the worst-case scenario. But at the same time… that meant not using it could also be a mistake. You have no idea how much that scared me.” 
You curl your hands up into fists. “I don’t want to think that way anymore. I see it now — have for a while, actually — strength I couldn’t even imagine before. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is… I’m in your care. If it’s alright, I want to rely on others, starting with you two.” 
Your heart pounds wildly in the silence that follows. 
Maybe this is selfish too, you think. But I don’t want to be alone anymore. 
You hear Suguru speak your name. It isn’t until he repeats it, his tone kind yet firm, that you straighten yourself and face him. 
Satoru stands further back, scratching his neck. Much to your confusion, a red flush has risen to his cheeks, extending up to his ears. Suguru corrects your staring by taking your face in his hands and redirecting your attention to him. Warmth envelops you. Your faces are inches apart, but somehow, the distance feels nonexistent, like he’s peering into your mind unhindered. 
“Surely, you can dream bigger than that,” Suguru chastises.
“... Eh?” 
“Do you think so little of us?” Satoru grumbles. It almost sounds like he’s pouting. Was he not listening to anything you just said? The sincerity behind your every word? Why are they both acting like you insulted them? 
“Eh?!” 
“I’m glad you’ve come to this realization, but… you don’t have to rely on anyone else. Just us,” Suguru takes a step back, though he keeps one hand cupping your cheek. You feel lightheaded. “After all…” 
“... We’re the strongest.” 
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notes:
*this pun actually works decently in english ?? but akane is making a reference to how suguru sounds phonetically similar to すぐ, or sugu, which means 'soon.'
296 notes · View notes
miabebe · 3 days ago
Text
Camp Seventeen: Chapter 3
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Pairing - Afab!reader x ot13
Word count - 16K
Genre - Greek Demigod AU! We’ve got crack, smut, fluff , angst, hurt, comfort, all of it in this series, buckle up!
Previous chapter
Chapter summary - As the days in camp seventeen unfold the many burdens you had tucked away in your heart, you dive into the sorrows you had presumably left behind. Thankfully (or not) a musical moment and a menacing monster serve as unforeseen distractions.
A/n - I do have a taglist so comment on this post to be added! As usual, the member and warnings will be added in a weeks time to keep suspense :) This chapter is a bit heavy, the plot is thickening so please do take your time with it - I promise things will make sense eventually!
Special thanks to @monamipencil! Your comments made my day Lola <3
“Chief.” Soonyoung took a worried step forward, hand slipping out from yours. “Is everything okay?” 
“If you’re here it's either not serious enough or it's too serious.” Minghao frowned at Seungcheol, crossing his arms. “My guess is the former.” 
“The camp is under attack.” Seungcheol sighed, running his hands through his hair like he was embarrassed. “Of….” 
“Of what?” 
“O-of geese.” 
“Geese??” Soonyoung looked at him stupidly. “Like plural of goose, geese?” 
“What other kind of geese do you know, you dumbass.” Seungcheol rolled his eyes. 
“I don't know. The kind of geese I know don’t attack human establishments??” 
“It’s obviously some elaborate prank by the children of Nemesis, considering it's their companion.” Muttering, Seungcheol stuffed his hand in his pockets. “Those winged brats are just wreaking havoc everywhere - they’ve broken all of the farm's tools, they’ve made a mess of the dining hall, they’ve shat all over the houses-” Both boys groaned. “-it's a catastrophe.”
“Are we sure it’s not Jeonghan?” Soonyoung narrowed his eyes. “We all know how much he enjoys stuff like this….” 
“Jeonghan also loves to watch the consequences of his very well planned antics.” Seungcheol scoffed. “And he’s not at camp - he said he was going to the city for….. something, I don’t know but no, it’s not him.” 
“If it's not him then how did these birds enter camp at night?” Minghao raised his eyebrows confused. “They shouldn’t have been able to pass Wonwoo’s nighttime defenses.” 
“He says they might have sneaked in during the shift handover. Apparently Hansol and the hounds were the only ones patrolling when he was settling up because Jihoon was busy elsewhere.” Seungcheol looked straight at you, almost accusatorily. 
What the hell, how was this your fault?
“There’s no need to look at her like that.” Minghao took a step forward, half covering you behind his frame. “You should talk to Jihoon about being more responsible with his time.” 
“That’s not the point now.” Watching both men glaring at each other, Soonyoung tried to ease the tension. “We should be discussing how we can get rid of those menaces.”
“We've been trying.” Seungcheol groaned. “But neither Jun nor Hansol are able to communicate with them for some reason. It seems like they are some weird mix of domestic and wild.”
“That's strange.” Minghao frowned, lost in thought. 
“Something does seem off.” Soonyoung agreed. “Not only have they breached Wonwoo's protection but they're also some sort of unheard half breeds? Two anomalies cannot be a coincidence.” 
“Moreover, it's not like the children of Nemesis to prank.” Minghao frowned, staring at the ground. “Pettiness isn't their nature.”
“What other reason could they have to do this?” Seungcheol crossed his arms, muscles tense. “Revenge?” 
“Maybe, or it might not even be them.” Sooonyoung looked lost in thought. “Seungkwan and I will speak around with our contacts. I’m sure we can find out something.”
Seungcheol nodded, “In the meantime we need to clear them from camp premises before they cause more destruction.”
“Then why aren't you at camp doing that chief?” Minghao narrowed his eyes at the leader. “Why is it that you're here, like there's more important things to worry about?” 
You didn’t have to look to tell that Minghao was glancing at you over his shoulder. 
Soonyoung didn't seem to think his presence was suspicious. “He's the Son of Zeus, Hao. Geese and him don't really go well together.” 
You vaguely recalled Jihoon telling you something in the Iliad about Zeus, geese and the Helen of Troy.
“Is that it?” Minghao raised his eyebrow amused. “Big ol’ chief afraid of some feathered friends?” 
“I’m here for Soonyoung.” Seungcheol gritted between his teeth. “And I asked for the message of the attack to be passed to him alone.” 
Your eyes followed Soonyoung’s which focused on the group huddled in the corner - a bunch of the most beautiful people you had ever seen, snickering away.
“Fucking Aphrodite’s children.” He muttered knowing all three of you were purposely misled here in the interest of creating a scene.“How can I help, chief?” 
“We were wondering if your ability to induce intoxication can calm them down so they can be captured?” He looked unsure. “Hansol and Jihoon were ready to shoot down the birds but if this really is a prank, we don’t want to harm their animals and seek trouble with the other camps.” 
“Even though this might be their fault?” 
“We have enough on our plate this season, Soonyoung.” It was very apparent that Seungcheol was trying his best not to meet your eye. “The last thing we need is more camps to be against us.” 
Soonyoung nodded like he understood. “We should leave then but Chan is too drunk to drive-” 
“I got here on Wonwoo’s bike.” Seungcheol waved his hand, dismissing the younger one’s concern. “You and I can head back first and the rest of the team…...Minghao, are you sober?” 
The man in question nodded. 
“Good, gather everyone immediately and make sure they reach camp safely, especially….” 
Seungcheol glanced at you, his expression a lot softer but the anger you felt for him had not changed. 
“I’m not leaving yet.” You spoke up for the first time, earning the leader’s confused look. “I don't want to.”
“Are you drunk?” 
“And what if I am?” 
“It’s a Thursday night Y/n, we have training tomorrow morning-” 
“Ugh I don’t care.” You grabbed a canned cocktail from the nearby table and popped it open, ignoring Soonyoung’s widened eyes. “Your camp, your rules, whatever the hell you’ve got going on, I don’t care for it Cheol- oh sorry, Seungcheol.” You corrected yourself. “I will leave this party whenever I feel like I want to leave this party.” 
“Stop being a child.” Seungcheol was clearly holding back his anger. “There’s enough going on back at camp now for you to-” 
“Exactly, go deal with it chief. I’m sure you’ll all fare better without the “weak link” around.” 
“Y/n I…” He sighed, watching you drink in big gulps. “First of all, you shouldn’t be drinking that-” 
“Can someone please explain to this man that I’m not going to listen to him.” 
“Cheol.” Minghao looked pointedly at his leader who was on the verge of snapping. “I’ll bring everyone back to camp safely…. everyone.” He emphasized again. “You and Kwon should get going now.” 
“Yeah.” Soonyoung nodded before turning to you and grabbing the bottom ends of Minghao’s jacket, aligning them as his voice fell to a whisper. “Y/n, that’s a sex potion too.” 
Eyes popping out, you nearly spat out your drink. “I thought it was just the beer??” He nodded. “Yeah, so did everyone, hence the improvisation.” He pulled the zip up, adjusting the jacket on your shoulders. “Take care sweetie.” 
You nodded, eyes briefly meeting Seungcheol over Soonyoung’s shoulder. He looked…..indifferent as he stared back. 
“Come on Kwon.” He muttered, turning away as the Soonyoung dropped a kiss on your forehead before taking a step back and jogging away to catch up with his leader. You only let out a breath as their figures disappeared in the rain that only got heavier. 
Before you knew it, a familiar feeling began licking up your spine, warmth spreading all over your being just like it had earlier. As you slowly turned to Minghao, embarrassed to meet his eye, he straight up shook his head, looking amused.
“Nah uh. Ignorance I can understand but stupidity?” He scoffed. “That's your problem.” 
“Minghao-” 
“Fight it Y/n.” He grabbed a macaroon, stuffing it in his mouth as he began to walk away from you. “Fight it.” 
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Unlike Seungcheol’s house, the room you woke up in did not have sunlight streaming in. 
Stretching on the large king size bed, you glanced at the now empty space beside you - the man who had given you company last night was no longer there and rightfully so considering it was way past training hours. 
Ignoring the pain in your head, you swung your feet off the mattress, glancing out the window. The view is much nicer than Seungcheol’s house - there all you could see were endless trees and hills but here you could see much more of the camp, particularly the common cabin, where everyone was slowly walking towards after hitting the showers. Slightly annoyed and very bothered that yesterday’s events were about to repeat, you sighed, heading down the stairs, making your way to the dining hall. Unlike yesterday though, no one spared a glance at you as you walked in. 
You could tell they were all tired - you saw much of the aftermath of the geese ambush as you returned to camp late last night. Considering everything looked normal today, you figured the boys must have spent all night cleaning up before reporting to train in the wee hours of the morning. 
“Y/n,” Mingyu’s voice called out to you from behind as you turned to him. “You left this in my workshop last night….” 
As you glanced at the jacket in his outstretched hand, the eyes of the other boys flickered between the two of you. 
“That's mine.’ Minghao walked up, swooping his garment in his hands as the attention of the room shifted to him. You gulped as he walked away from the hall wordlessly. 
You figured you should say something considering the silence was only getting worse, maybe apologise for missing training yet again but before you could say it, Seungcheol got up and walked right past you without saying a word. 
Lips parted, you watched him leave once more, refusing to say anything, refusing to listen to you, simply being stubborn like he always was. 
Fine, if he was going to be a bitch, so were you. Following his suit, you walked out of the hall in the opposite direction, leaving everyone inside baffled. 
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The heat of the water just wasn’t comforting. 
You knew it was hot, there was steam all around, the tiles of the shower were covered in condensation and designs you had mindlessly traced with your finger. But rather than scalding your skin off, the boiling hot water just felt like a tickle. Annoyed, you turned off the pouring water and grabbed the towel, wrapping it around your body, tucking it in front of your chest. As you ran your hand through your wet hair, you looked at yourself in the mirror. 
Water was dripping from the wet strands, running down the many darkening, reddish purple marks on your neck and shoulder. You knew they would get darker as days passed but you didn’t expect them to look so bruised up already. Running your finger across them you sighed - last night was a horrible mistake. Sure you were under the influence of some messed up concoction but sleeping with more than one member of the camp was ridiculous to say the least. 
What was more burdensome was the idea that maybe there was more than the concoction involved…. Soonyoung had broken up with his girlfriend because of you but neither he nor you were sure about what exactly he felt for you and Minghao? You had noticed he was generally protective of you since you had joined camp and thought it was just because he was nice, but the way he pulled you away from Soonyoung every time the two of you were a little more intimate? That did not seem very ‘general’. 
Shutting your eyes, you tried to push the details of last night out of your mind. Thank god you listened to your trainer when he told you to fight it. Otherwise when you asked Mingyu if you could crash at his place in order to avoid Seungcheol and found yourself sharing his king size bed, maybe you would have allowed yourself to make another mistake. You couldn't make another one so soon. 
Tightening the grip of your towel, you turned towards the changing rooms, slightly startled by the figure that just walked in.
Wonwoo - also in his towel, hanging low at his waist, moving as silent as a shadow as he walked towards the showers. You should have felt exposed, more conscious, given you were barely dressed, and covered in innumerable hickies but you didn't feel a thing. Because Wonwoo hadn't spared you a glance. He walked past you like he couldn't care less, like you weren't there. 
“What is your problem?”
After days of watching this man behave so unnecessarily indifferent to you, you finally spoke up, mind already disturbed by a hundred and one things. 
“Why do you always behave like I don't exist?” You crossed your arms, staring him down. “If you're an introvert, I can understand, Hansol doesn't interact with me much either but at least he doesn't behave like I'm invisible, like he can see right through me-”
“Because I can.” His voice left him deep and cold as he turned to you. “Because I can see right through you.”
You scoffed. “What-”
“Because regardless of what you pretend to be in front of others, I can see the real you. I know things about you that you won't even admit to yourself.” 
 “What-” You emphasised again. “-can you possibly know?.”
“What can I know?” He raised an eyebrow. “I know you're a loner Y/n. You've been one your whole life. Your biological parents never cared enough about you, you don't have any siblings, you've never bothered to make friends, you've always been alone.” He took a step forward. “Even though it was circumstances that drove you to loneliness, you always told yourself that it was your choice, that you wanted to be alone because it’s easier that way. It’s easier to tell yourself that you chose to distance yourself from everyone rather than admit that you were rejected. You knew you would never be accepted. You knew no matter where you were and what you did, you would never fit in. You knew you were a freak.” 
Eyes widening, you stared at his nearing figure. 
“But now? Now you're finally in a place where you belong. You are finally with your kind but you're still terrified - you're scared that maybe, this isn’t where you’re meant to be either. You're scared that if you accept these people and they find out what you really are, they'll leave you too. They'll break the heart you've been safeguarding for all these years.”
Your heart was quite literally in your mouth. 
“That's why you rebel. That's why you call this place 'camp' and never ‘home’. You say things are hard and you're having trouble adjusting but what you're really trying to do is establish that you always are and always will be an outsider - you’re trying to escape the pain that will come when you're finally abandoned. That is why you'll always look for reasons to leave this camp. You'll never let yourself belong, you'll never let yourself become one of those here. So tell me, why do I have to try and bother with your existence when you’re just looking for the first chance to run?”
And somehow, now you could feel the heat all over. It was uncomfortably coursing through your whole body, burning you inside out in a way that made you want to rip out your skin but you already felt so bare, so naked in front of this man. 
But before any words could leave you at all, Wonwoo took a step back and then another till he retreated out of sight and into the showers. It was only when he disappeared that you finally let out the breath you were holding.
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Maybe the more logical thing to do was to dive into the lake before you hit the showers but here you were, stripping into just your inner wear and jumping into the ice cold waters, desperate to cool yourself off. As you submerged yourself further in the waters, you shut your eyes, submerging into the darkness as well. 
The fire burning inside you because of Wonwoo's words was just not dying. For the first time ever, it felt like you had truly looked into a mirror because every single word that came out of that man's mouth was true. So, so true. 
And he was right when he said you've never admitted these things even to yourself because you were never really one for introspection. It wasn't like you to explore your thoughts, understand your nature, figure out the intentions of your actions. No, none of that. 
You were impulsive. You dived head first into things. You made decisions, then considered the consequences. You were reckless, you lived fearlessly, you lived like no one and nothing else mattered. 
Because nothing else did matter. 
Ever since you were young, you were on your own. You were not even sure when your mother left you, you had no memories of her and your father? The man who was barely ever present, abandoned you 3 days before your 12th birthday. From then your life had been just yours alone. You worked odd jobs to feed yourself, you worked hard to study, you studied harder to work better and life just went on like that. You didn't have many friends to compensate for the solitude either. Making friends was somehow not very easy for you - how were you supposed to explain the shambles of your life to people? How were you supposed to establish any kind of relationship with anyone when the only ones you ever had, walked out on you? 
You were better off alone. You were always better off alone.
That was until one incident turned your entire life upside down.
The days leading up to your arrival at camp are still a blur to you. The flames, the masked men, the court, the meeting of dozens of people - it all still felt like a fever dream. But one moment was still very clear in your memory - the moment when you were standing at the shrine of your mother, in front of her statue. 
Goddess of the hearth, home and hospitality they said. The old man beside you was going on and on about her. About her powers, about what a wonderful woman she was, about how delighted you'd be to meet her. 
You, though, felt like you were stabbed in the heart you had so carefully locked away. 
When the masked men revealed the truth of your parentage, when you learnt about your mother, you let that hope in you grow again. You thought maybe with this big secret finally out you’ll finally get to meet her. That she would finally be a part of your life. 
That’s why when they gave you a choice at the swearing in ceremony to join camp seventeen or go back to your mortal life, you chose the former. It was for her, it was to be with your mother, it was to finally feel home. 
But as you stared at her statue, offering your respects after the ceremony, it was like someone was drowning you in cold water. Nothing about the expression on her face felt remotely homely, nothing about her felt warm and loving to you - she did not feel like a mother. Rather she felt cold, distant and unwelcoming, just like you imagined the woman who abandoned you would look like. 
And with time, you realised your fear was right. 
Ever since you arrived at camp, all you did was wait. Wait for just one conversation, maybe an explanation, or even just a glimpse. But there was no indication of her. She didn’t drop by the camp, she didn’t respond to your invocation at the temple, she didn't care at all, just like she hadn’t in the last twenty five years. 
The pain of being re-abandoned was so strong that, with each passing day, it began to gnaw on your insides. The breaking point was perhaps realising that you were her only progeny yet you didn't matter to her. It was a blow you had refused to accept but one that had most definitely broken you internally. You had uprooted your whole life for her, you made this new world yours but at what cost - daily incessant instructions to train, classes after classes teaching you how to fit in, members continually trying to make you feel at home. You didn’t want this home, you didn’t want these people, you only wanted her. 
Wonwoo was right, you were never here to be a part of this camp, it was merely a stepping stone to your final goal. You were indeed looking to run. 
But before you could wonder about how Wonwoo knew all these things about you, a hand wrapped around your waist. In a flash it pulled you out and tossed you onto the bank as you launched into a coughing fit, throwing up water. 
“What the hell Y/n?” A worried voice patted your back. “What were you thinking?” 
In between your fit, you raised your head to meet the sight of a set of extremely well chiseled abs, rivets of water dripping down them. Gulping you cleared your throat and scooted back, suddenly aware that you were very very minimally dressed. 
Your saviour Seokmin, looked away from you realising the same as he grabbed the shirt he had tossed into the grass before jumping into the water and handed it to you. Taking it from him, you slipped it on. 
“What is wrong with you?” 
“What?” You frowned. “I'm fine.” 
“You were underwater for so long, I thought you drowned…” Seokmin muttered, pushing his wet hair off his face. “Are you okay?” 
“I'm okay.” You mumbled. You weren't but you knew he wasn't referring to your broken heart. 
“You looked distressed.” Or maybe he was. 
“I just… had some thinking to do.” 
“Well underwater isn't the best place for that if I'm being honest.” He chuckled. “Unless you're Poseidon's child.” 
“What, only you have a claim on water?” 
“No, only we can breathe underwater.”  He somehow looked embarrassed. “Though I was well into my teens before I discovered that.” 
“What do you mean?” 
“I was terrified of water as a child, wouldn't go near it.” He laughed. “Ironic for the Son of the Sea right?” 
You scoffed. “A little.” 
“When my aura got stronger, my father found me and helped me get habituated to the waters, that's how I-” 
“Your father?” You gulped, knowing the answer even as you asked him. “Your father as in Poseidon? Poseidon helped you?” 
Seokmin nodded like it was obvious. “I was so scared of any kind of water body, he would lure me in with my favourite snacks. As I got older, I stopped falling for such tricks so he took me to Olympus and made sure I was personally trained in those olympic size pools-”
“Fucking hell.” You got to your feet, much to Seokmin's confusion, tripping as you did. 
“Y/n careful!” He quickly got up, catching you before you hit the ground again. “Are you okay-” 
“No.” You shook your head.“I am not.” 
And with that you walked away from there, body alight with a different kind of fire now. You needed to find someone immediately. 
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“Jihoon, we need to talk.”
As you slammed the door of Jihoon’s house open, you were met with silence. 
This was the first time you were in his residence and somehow if you had to picture how his home looked, it was nowhere close to this. You assumed the son of the Sun would prefer whites or lighter colours but most of the minimal furniture in his house was a dark black, standing out starkly in the small room. But right now wasn't the time for you to ponder about his interiors, there were more important things you needed to talk to him about. 
Turning on your heel, you shut the door behind you, wandering into this backyard instead. You knew Jihoon had his own personal gym somewhere there and if Soonyoung was right about his tendency to work out, it was highly likely you would find him there. 
“Hi Cow.” You waved at the half asleep animal under the tree, lazily blinking at you. As though it read your mind, it pointed its head towards the small path on the side before tucking its head between its legs and dozing off. You followed its directions, reaching a large tinted greenhouse and when you opened the door you were greeted by two dozen gym equipment. In the middle of it all was the man you were looking for, his bare back facing you as he hung off a bar, pulling himself up with way too much ease. 
“Y/n.” Well it was no surprise he recognised you without even a glance. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” 
“Why has everyone on camp decided to be shirtless today?” You mumbled, walking in, looking around. 
Chuckling, Jihoon jumped off, turning to you as he landed. Eyes running down your body, he cocked his head. “Is that why you chose to go bottomless instead?” 
And it was only then that you realized you didn't fully dress yourself before storming away from the lake in just Seokmin's shirt. 
“I was hot.” You shrugged, pulling down the shirt.
“Hot you are.” He mumbled, sitting down on the bench, grabbing a pair of dumbells. “There's way too much heat in your body, which means you're either mad or ovulating and I'm not sure how I can help with either.” 
“The former.” You rolled your eyes. “And only you can help with it.”
“Go on.” He sighed, curling the weights, his biceps bulging with every move. Tearing your eyes away, you cleared your throat. 
“I want to meet my mother.”
“Which one?”
“Hestia.” You crossed your arms. “I have something to ask her.”
“I'm still missing the part where I can help.” 
“You said you'll teach me how to reach out to her.” 
“I did.” He grunted, focusing on his workout. “And I will, every Thursday at 4-” 
You grabbed the dumbbell with surprising ease and put them down before leaning over the man before you, expression threatening. 
“Lee Jihoon, I swear to god, if you don't help me right now…”
Your words trailed away as his eyes shifted down to your neck, the shirt no longer hiding the bruises that were littered all over it. You glanced down before straightening yourself, taking a step back. Jihoon got up, pushing his hair back, eyes fixed on you. 
“I just…” You sighed. “I just want to meet her once.” 
“Then go to the camp temple and invoke her presence.” 
“I have, everyday. She doesn’t respond.” 
“Then there’s no way I can help you Y/n.” He grabbed his towel, wiping the sweat off his arms. “One can only meet Gods if they wish to meet you and I think your mother has made her wishes very clear.”
“I don’t care what she wishes.” You spoke between gritted teeth. “And you said if I played my cards right, my mother would come looking for me.” 
“I also said it would take years of training to become worthy of that.” 
“I don't have years, Jihoon. I want to meet her as soon as I can.” 
“And why the newfound urgency?” He frowned. “What changed overnight?” 
Wonwoo. 
“Seokmin said his father taught him to swim, that as a child he took him to Olympus.” 
“So?”
“So how come my mother never cared, Jihoon? Why is it that she still doesn't?” 
“I already told you-”
“I don't buy that.” You shook your head. “How can a mother be ashamed of having a child? Of her only child?” 
“You'd be surprised.” Jihoon looked at you pitably. “Gods aren't like humans.” 
“Then let her say that to me.” You took a deep breath. “Let her give me that closure so I can stop losing my mind over this. I just want one meeting with her please, is there really no way?” 
“There is one.” He hummed, crossing his arms, his pecs bulging behind them. 
“And what is that?” 
“By doing a sacrifice.”  
“Sac-sacrifice?” You looked at him shocked. “Like those cult stuff?” 
Jihoon rolled his eyes, forgetting just how little you knew about this world. “Sacrifice is an age-old tradition made by our ancestors to please the gods, to gain their favours.” He leaned against the treadmill, slipping into his professor role, just like he had yesterday. “At times of droughts, they used to call on Zeus for rains. When crops were ravaged by pests, Demeter was the one to turn to. When they were at war, Ares was their savior. But,” He sighed. “calling upon a god was not so easy - it required time and perseverance and procedure-” 
“What kind of procedure?” 
“It was insanely complex.” Reaching for his bottle, Jihoon began walking out of the greenhouse, you following closely behind. “First, men would have to climb to the top of mount Olympus to get holy fire, then they would gather items for sacrifice. Every god has a set of items that they just cannot refuse. Dionysus loves his gemstones, Poseidon will do anything for seasalt. Artemis is harder to please, she likes a very specific kind of wildflower. If one offered enough of these to please the gods, then they would appear and were obliged to extend one favour in exchange. But ‘enough’ was where the problem lied.” As he bent down to pet Cow, you stared far off at the horizon, lost in thought.  ”The Gods were incredibly difficult to satisfy, it took large amounts for anything to be ‘enough’ for them. There were demigods who had spent ages trying to invoke them, even losing their minds in the attempts.” 
“That’s degenerate.” You frowned, as he stopped again, this time to grab a bunch of herbs from the wall of his house.
“It was.” He began plucking the leaves, grabbing handfuls. “Eventually, when the Oracle of Delphi was made in charge of the Demigods, things changed. Any demigod who wished to do a sacrifice had to obtain a scroll from her - the Scroll of Sacrifice. A piece of paper that would explicitly state just one thing that the gods wanted in exchange for a favour.” 
Pushing the nearby door open, he stepped in. 
“So you’re saying,” You followed him into his house. “-the only way for me is to go to the oracle, get a scroll, sacrifice whatever is needed and then in exchange I can earn her favour and make her answer my questions?” 
“Theoretically yes, but in reality,” He shook his head, opening yet another door and walking in. “it won’t be that easy.” 
“Why not?” 
“Delphi only hands scrolls to very few demigods, ones she deems worthy and even if she does, they're incredibly difficult - the sacrifice demanded in exchange is almost always impossible to let go.” 
“How hard can it be?” You frowned. “What kind of sacrifices do they ask for?” 
Jihoon sighed, the incessant questions finally getting to him. “You do know your weekly classes are for exactly such information right?” 
“But I want to know right now.” 
“Can I at least tell you without having you stare at me getting dressed?” 
Oh.
Apparently you had walked behind him straight into his dressing room. 
Muttering an apology, you stepped out as he shut the door behind you. 
“So,” You half spun on the balls of your foot. “You were saying?” 
Another one of Jihoon’s sighs reached you before his voice. “The Gods are not fond of being obliged to hand out favours - that's why they make sacrifices nearly impossible. I heard Apollo asked for a demigod’s sight and the boy fell to his death before he could even ask for what he wanted. Aphrodite made one of her own children give up her ability to love…..  it drove her to insanity. And one of those who prayed to Zeus has been chained to a rock on an abandoned island for nearly twelve years and he still has five more years to go. There are endless stories like this Y/n and each of them will only tell you not to opt for such madness.” He opened the door, now fully dressed, a pair of shorts in his hand. “Here.” 
You took it from him, looking a little stumped. “Please wear them Y/n. I can barely look at you…” He muttered walking away again and you quickly slipped on the pair that was just a little too big for you. Following him past a room full of what seemed like musical instruments, you walked into a small pantry. 
“What about Hestia?” You gulped, images of her cold face flashing before you. “What has she asked in exchange?” 
“Honestly, I don’t know.” He threw the herbs he had gathered earlier into a motor. “I’ve never heard of anyone who’s really seeked her favour.” 
You scoffed. “Of course not, what would they ask her help for? Light up their fireplace?” 
Jihoon looked up from the paste he was crushing, slightly miffed. “Your mother is no minor goddess Y/n. She's the caretaker, the protector. Hestia is worshiped in every place called home.” 
“How ironic.” You smiled sadly. “Her own daughter has never had a home.” 
“Unfortunately, no god considers it their responsibility to take care of their bastard children.” He looked pointedly at the counter. “Sit.” 
“Why?” 
“Just sit Y/n.” 
“But why?” 
Sighing, Jihoon rolled his eyes and grabbed you by the waist, hoisting you onto the counter effortlessly as you bit back a scream. As though nothing happened, he continued to do whatever it was he was doing while you tried to calm your uncharacteristically racing heart. 
“It's also unfair to blame Hestia for not having a home when your mortal parents were the one who were supposed to care for you.”
“I know.” You muttered looking down at your fiddling fingers. “This may sound insane but finding Hestia might be easier than finding my mortal parents…. I don't know a thing about them.” 
“I know someone on camp who can help-” 
“But I don't want to find them….yet. I don't know what to ask them.” You looked up as Jihoon pulled out a ladder from the side and began climbing it, reaching for something on the higher shelves. “I’m not prepared to find out if they know the kind of monster I am.” 
“Why would you say that?” He looked at you over his shoulder, frowning. “You don’t even know what your powers are, right?” 
You gulped, staring at the floor, mind racing back to a conversation last night........
“Try not to touch anything.” Mingyu warned as you strolled along his workshop in the faint light of the moonlight. “I’m not really sure if any of these are still hot. I don’t really…. feel heat.” 
As if you did. 
Hanging out with Mingyu wasn’t really on your cards today. After Minghao had left you to deal with your little problem on your own, you had silently made your way out of the house and down the street, searching for a pharmacy. It must’ve been a good twenty minute unsuccessful walk before Mingyu, who was driving around on his bike looking for you, spotted you. You told him you were looking to buy some pills for a headache so he offered to drive you to the nearest store. He didn’t need to know what you really needed was some plan B. After you had procured what you wanted and he started heading back to camp, you told him to take the longest route possible. While he obliged, you wrapped your arms around his waist and drifted off, not wanting to think about all that was plaguing your mind. Not wanting to think about Seungcheol. 
But he’s the first thought on your mind the moment the bike halted at the camp gate. You didn’t want to see him, not now. Mingyu was generous enough to agree when you muttered wanting to take up his offer to crash in his residence. He didn’t question the change of heart, instead he carefully walked you through his workshop, bringing you to the stairs on the other side, leading you up to his house. You though are far too enthralled to follow him.
“You’ve got quite the space here.” You pursed your lips impressed, stripping out of the jacket as he smiled proudly. “Must never be boring.” 
“It isn’t.” He admitted. “Making weapons doesn’t take me too long, leaves a lot of time on my hands for other experiments and endeavors.” 
“Such as?” 
“I like creating little automations.” He shrugged. “Machinery that allows me to be creative and makes life easier. Like the one that's currently out there chopping up wood, for your house.”
“Oh.” You raised your eyebrows looking around. “What else have you made?”
“Too many to remember.” He laughed. “But my best creation is probably my bike. It took months of trial and error. Couldn't have done it without my best buddy.��
“Wonwoo?” You had noticed the two were significantly closer than the rest. There was definitely some story there. 
Mingyu laughed. “Yes Wonwoo is the best but no, I'm talking about that little guy.” 
He pointed behind you and you turned, finding yourself about 500 meters away from a not so little three headed dog, snarling at you with all three of its mouths, drooling leaking from the edges. You took a careful step back and another, crashing into the chest of Mingyu who had sneaked up to you. 
“What is that?” You whispered, voice shaking just a bit. 
“That’s Cerberus, my pet.” 
“That’s a pet?!” 
“It’s Wonwoo’s actually….. But yes, he’s a pet and he’s really friendly, don’t worry.” 
“Huh.” You breathed, not believing his words but only relieved cause you noticed he was chained. “And he helps you with your experiments?”
Mingyu nodded, steering you away from there, walking you toward his house once more. “Cerberus is a very powerful creature - he’s immensely strong, uncharacteristically intelligent and most importantly, he’s my fire source.” 
“Fire source?” 
“The most important tool for a blacksmith like me is the flame - you see those.” He pointed at big cave shaped structures lined neatly on the edge. “Forging presses like that require fires that cannot be ignited by tiny matchsticks. It takes a powerful source to work them, like Cerberus.” 
You tensed, just a little. “So Cerberus can create fire?” 
“He breathes fire.” Mingyu clarified. “Cerberus is from the Underworld, like most mysteries in our world. So yeah, he is one of the few creatures that can create fire.” 
“C-can’t you?” You scratched the back of your head, trying to seem casual. “You said you don’t feel heat so can’t you… make fire too?” 
“Don’t be silly Y/n.” Mingyu scoffed. “Fire is one of the five natural elements. Even the gods, your mother included, can only control fire, not create it.” 
You were right. Even here you were a freak, even here you didn’t fit in. 
None of Mingyu’s excited explanations about the various projects he was working on went into your head. There was only one thing you could think about - You didn’t belong here and you needed to leave before everyone realised that. 
“...and that’s why I don’t have a guest bedroom but don’t worry, my bed is king sized.” Mingyu leaned against the stairs with a small smirk dancing on his face. “Though I can’t promise I can keep my hands to myself.” 
You rolled your eyes, pushing him to lead the way up. The only thing that gave you comfort as he laughed was the knowledge that if you burned, Mingyu was perhaps the only one who couldn’t hurt with your fire......
“Y/n.” Jihoon hopped off the ladder looking at you quizzically. “Where are you lost?” 
“I….” You cleared your throat. “I just meant, I don’t know, what if my mortal parents are aware of any kind of powers I might have? What if… that’s what kept them away from me?” 
“Then that’s all the more reason you have to find them.” Jihoon shrugged. “It would help us-”
“No.” You firmly shook your head. “Just…let me just talk to Hestia first, everything else can wait.” 
“As you wish.” He held up the bowl of whatever concoction he was mixing, a green paste staring at you. “In the meantime…”
“What is that?”
“It's my special ointment for bruises. Makes any and all scars and wounds disappear.” 
“I’m not hurt….” Your voice faded away as Jihoon’s eyes landed on the red, purple and blue trail of hickies on your neck. 
“Are you sure you want to go around parading the evidence of your threesome last night?” 
“I’m not trying to…how do you even know it was a threesome?”
“Those are clearly marked by two different men.” 
You rolled your eyes. “Is this another one of your body reading tricks?” 
“Yes but anyone who knows you were at your first Aphrodite rager last night will be able to guess that much.” Jihoon shrugged, standing right before you. “In fact, three is a rather small number there, most scenes tend to involve a minimum of five people.” 
You felt your jaw hang as Jihoon looked amused. 
“So do you want it gone or not?” 
“Why?” You cleared your throat. “You think I should hide all this in case the other boys make assumptions like yours? That I ought to have some shame?” 
“Not shame, I thought you might appreciate some privacy.” He shrugged. “Given there’s someone who you have been particularly wary of these days.” 
Seungcheol. 
How did this man know everything? 
Sighing, you gripped the edges of Seokmin's shirt and pulled it over your head, baring your neck to the man before you. Trying not to smile, Jihoon slotted himself between your dangling legs, pushed the hair off your shoulder, gently tending to your bruises. 
“It might sting.” He warned right on time as you grabbed his bicep with your free hand, feeling pain shooting up your nerves as the cold ointment touched your skin.
“Breathe.” He instructed, softly running his fingers along your collarbone. “It’ll pass.” 
You figured listening to the expert might be better so you did, trying your best to ignore the intimate proximity between the two of you. 
“While we are at it,” You looked away as he blew on your wounds, cold wind caressing it. “Do you also have something for potential STDs or…. You know, ensuring our kind doesn’t replicate?” 
Jihoon chuckled. “Again, demigods don’t get sick Y/n, STDs don’t mean anything to us and we don’t ‘replicate’ either so there’s really nothing to worry about.” 
Suddenly, every cell in your body stopped functioning. “What do you mean?” 
Jihoon blinked at you like he was only just realising what he said. “Uh…. Demigods are barren Y/n, we…. cannot have children.” 
Though you were sitting it felt like the ground had been pulled from under your feet. Like everything around you had stopped. Like everything had ended.
“Y/n are you okay?” 
How could you be? You just learnt that you could never have children, that you could never be a mother. All your life you didn’t have a family but now? Being a demigod had robbed you of your chance to ever have one in the future. You wanted to peel that part away, rip it and throw it somewhere far away, get rid of this side of you that had done nothing but make everything worse. 
Jihoon seemed to have understood the storm inside you. Or felt it. He was quiet as he grabbed a washcloth and slowly wiped away the ointment, the bruises beneath it starting to look a lot lighter already. As the sting ebbed away, the pain in your heart felt more apparent, coursing through you, hurting everywhere. 
At that moment your eyes trailed over the soft and sharp features of his face burrowed in concentration, your admiration for it overpowering every other thought. 
That’s it. That’s what you needed again. A distraction. 
Now that his job was done, Jihoon tried to move away but your grip on his arm was like a vice. He glanced at it then at you with a raised eyebrow. 
“So you're telling me-” You cocked your head at him. “-even though I let two men cum inside me yesterday and if my prediction is right, another will get his turn today - I'm not at the potential risk of anything?” 
Jihoon raised his eyebrow. “No you're not but pray tell, since when did the daughter of Hestia dabble in predictions? I thought that was in the hands of Apollo's prodigy.” 
“It is.” You ran your hand down his arm, feeling every ridge of muscle under your touch, voice leaving you in a whisper. “The possibility of my prediction coming true or not is in your hands really.” 
Jihoon’s eyes darkened as your tongue darted out to lick your lower lip slowly. Before you knew it, his hands gripped the thickness of your thighs and with a quick jerk he pulled you closer to him, your legs wrapping around his waist. Jihoon looked up at you and you down at him, breaths mingling in anticipation. 
“I know what you're doing Y/n and I know why you're doing this.” He spoke ever so softly. “But I'm not a distraction kind of guy so if there's ever a time you really want me, then you'll have me.”
With that he pulled you off the counter and let you lower your legs on to the floor, looking away. Given the kind of tension and the comfort you had grown to have with him and most importantly how unbelievably hard he was, his length right below your ass, you didn't think he'd say no. It was fair, he was allowed to. It wasn't his fault you were looking to jump any given person just to take your mind off things. 
Nodding, and mumbling a soft thanks for the ointment, you grabbed your shirt and walked past him, only stopping by the corridor to return what was his. 
“Sorry.” Muttering you slid off his shorts and placed it on the shelf beside you. 
Jihoon surprisingly let out a soft groan. You thought it was because you were suddenly minimally dressed but you noticed his eyes were gazing between your legs, on the wet spot of your underwear. You tried to press your legs closer, suddenly feeling very exposed but all it does is darken the spot, making things worse. 
“Fucking hell.” Jihoon muttered and in a flash you were pushed up against the wall, trapped between it and him, caged by his arms on either side. “I'm only just a man Y/n.”
Your eyes flickered down to his pants, the outline of his hard on starkly visible. “Uh huh.” 
“Do you still want this?” 
You cocked your head, hand running down his chest and over the tent in his pants as you smirked. “I predicted it.” 
“Allow me to make a pre-” His words faltered as you squeezed his length. “-prediction as well.” 
“By all means.” 
“You're gonna cum three times before I do.” 
“Oh really?” You raised your eyebrows and spat into your hand, slipping it past the waistband of his pants, wrapping your hand around his length. “I don't think so.” 
“That's….” He half panted, watching your hand do its job, his own hands still against the wall like they were taped to it. “Getting a headstart is cheating.” 
“You're slow.” 
“I'm savouring.” He smiled, leaning closer. “I'm in good hands and I know you're soaked. It's only a matter of time before you're begging.” 
You chuckled softly as though you were amused by his assumption but true to his words, your walls were already fluttering, clenching around nothing as your legs squeezed together. Jihoon, like the master of reading your body that he was, put his hand right in between, cupping you over your underwear, the pressure of his palm on your clit ever so light. From the soft sigh that left your mouth you both knew you were faring far worse than he was - truly, it was brave on your part to challenge him.
“Jihoon….” 
He hums in response as the pace of your hand falters.
“Touch me.” 
“I am sweetheart.” 
“More.” You wrapped your free hand around his wrist, breath shaking and Jihoon allowed you to lead him exactly where you wanted him - past the hem of your panties, right where the wetness was pooling between your legs. 
“Good fucking god…” He swore like he didn't expect you to be this drenched. What a funny guy. What did he think was gonna happen when he was this undeniably hot? 
You on the other hand expected him to be a tease, to draw this out, to make you beg. But to your complete surprise, he wasted no time in sliding two thick digits in, making you squeeze his length at the sheer stretch of the intrusion. 
“Sweetheart, you're gonna kill me.” He muttered, shutting his eyes tight. 
You wanted to apologise, you really did but whatever words were leaving your mouth didn't seem to be making any sense. Not when Jihoon was picking up the pace, taking turns pumping, curling and scissoring his fingers inside you. You felt your back arch on its own, head thrown back as an unholy moan left your being. Fuck he was right, you cannot possibly think of anything else now - this man was capable of turning you into a complete wreck before you could even get a moan out of him. 
“Your bruises have nearly disappeared.” He noticed with your neck bared to him once again. “It was prettier marked.”
“Mark it then.” You panted, composing yourself, getting back to stroking him again. “Do whatever you want.” 
And that's enough to break his resolve, as you felt his fingers slowing down while his teeth ran across the skin of your shoulder. Taking advantage of his momentary fixation, you ran your thumb across his slit, feeling the precum spill onto your fingers. Jihoon groaned, his mouth getting more aggressive on your neck as you gripped his bicep again, sinking your nails into it. 
Fuck, there it was. 
That tightening in the pits of your being, there it was, slowly climbing as you felt your legs starting to shake and Jihoon smirking against your skin, reading all the signs like he knew your body inside out. Thank god he could because just when you needed it, he slid in another finger and curled them up, reaching that sweet spot that had you instantly snapping, falling apart.  
He stilled his movements as you convulsed around his fingers, holding onto him tight but before you could even come down from your high, he started moving again.
“Ji… Jihoon.” You whimpered, chest heaving. “Fuck fuck fuck.” 
And before you know it your barely ebbed orgasm blended into a second one and you were practically gushing out into his hand.
“Damn sweetheart.” He smiled at you like he was a little too pleased with himself. “You're an easy one.” 
Excuse me? 
You could barely get a hold of yourself but that wasn't the most pressing matter - how dare he dismiss you so easily? 
Given your mouth was dry you swallowed on nothing, and shoved him back with just a small  push. Jihoon looked at you confused initially, then his eyes widened as you dropped to your knees and he realised what you were up to. But just as your hand reached the waistband of his bottoms and he pushed the hair off your face, more than ready to fuck your mouth, a loud sound rang through the silence of the afternoon. 
“Shit.” Jihoon muttered pulling you up. “That's code purple.”
You groaned. “Why are there so many fucking colours?” 
Frowning, he threw you your clothes before leading you to a small basin to wash your hands and his. “We need to go. It’s an emergency team meeting.” 
As he scurried around grabbing his things, his bow and arrows to be specific, you dressed yourself once again, watching him. Guess neither of your predictions were coming true after all. 
Noticing you were still lost in your thoughts, Jihoon sighed and grabbed you by the hand, leading you out of his house and to the dining hall of the common cabin where apparently all team meetings were held.
When the two of you had reached, thankfully only Soonyoung and Seungkwan were there and though their expressions were full of questions, they asked none. Before you knew it, everyone had gathered and whispers going around as they settled in their seats but the moment Seungcheol raised his hand, they died down.
“What's the matter?” 
Seungkwan nodded at Soonyoung who stood up, looking around. 
“Kwan and I sent some messages out today asking about the geese attack last night.” He shook his head slowly. “It seems no camp is responsible for it.” 
Minghao spun the blade in his hand with a frown. “So it wasn't a prank or an act of retribution?” 
Seungkwan shook his head. “Considering how we all thought their nature was odd, Hansol connected us to some Hunters of Artemis.” He laid out a map with four red crosses. “They gave us four locations where birds like this were sighted.” 
“So this was just like any other animal attack?” Seokmin leaned back, looking relieved. 
“I'm afraid not. It may or may not be a coincidence but the Hunters also claim that all four locations have been frequently exhibiting very high energy signals, signals that might belong to…” Seungkwan gulped. “The Chimaera.”
A strange silence descended upon the room as glances were exchanged. You looked at Jihoon questioningly but he looked troubled. 
“The fire breather.” Chan let out a low whistle. “It hasn't been heard of in centuries.”
“It seems to be on the move off late.” Hansol tucked the arrows he was polishing into his quiver. “It's hunting.” 
“And I think the geese are its agents.” Soonyoung pointed out. “Geese have always been symbols of vigilance and surveillance. Whatever the Chimaera is hunting, I think it's using the birds to trace it. That's why neither Jun nor Hansol could understand them, because they aren't wild or domestic - they're monsters.” 
“Chan,.” Seungcheol straightened himself. “Alert Olympus, tell them we need troops-” 
“It seems Olympus assigned the hunt to Artemis, ” Seungkwan added. “And you know how the Hunters function. Their goal is to capture the beast, not kill it so they have been taking their time to strategize.” 
“Well we can't wait for them to figure things out.” Jeonghan stared at the map on the table, a hundred things running in his mind. “We're going to have to hunt the monster on our own.” 
“Us?” Minghao looked around. “Do you even understand how powerful the creature is-” 
“Should we just sit back and wait for it to attack the camp then?” Jeonghan raised his eyebrows. “Because whatever it's looking for is here and monsters aren't patient creatures.”
“I know, but-” 
“Minghao.” Seungcheol interrupted, warning. “Jeonghan is our strategist, we'll let him decide what's best.” 
Minghao nodded begrudgingly as Jeonghan pulled the paper towards himself, Soonyoung handing him a pen. 
“We'll split according to our assigned partners.” He began drawing out lines and scribbling names. “Seungkwan and Soonyoung, you two head to the demigod union in the city and alert them, in case we need back up. Minghao and Jun, I want you both here for camp protection, Mingyu and Wonwoo as well…” He looked thoughtful. “If the Chimaera decides to attack the camp in our absence, Cerberus is the only chance we have against it.” 
As all four boys nodded, Jeonghan turned to the rest. 
“The remaining of us will go to the four locations. Everyone will use an energy reader and find the location of the Chimaera. Once you’ve narrowed down its location, alert the team to gather for a hunt. Any foolishness such as going after the monster on your own will not lead to punishment because you'll already be dead.” He glanced around. “Is that understood?”
Mummers of agreement echoed in the room. 
“Jihoon and Hansol, you two head to the one in the south, that's the biggest area but your hounds should help cover it. Joshua and I will head east, Chan and Seokmin will head west and Seungcheol…..” His eyes landed on the leader who was very evidently shaking his head. “Seungcheol and Y/n, you two will head north.” 
You looked at Jeonghan in disbelief. 
“Han,” Seungcheol spoke before you could say anything. “I don't need a partner, I've always been a lone hunter-” 
“That was because we were an odd number of members. But now there's 14 of us so Y/n will go with you-” 
“It's a dangerous mission and she's untrained.” Seungcheol spoke between gritted teeth. “She will be better off in camp-”
“She will be safer with our strongest warrior.” Jeonghan argued back. “You cannot always be team leader Cheol, learn to be a team player. Y/n will accompany you.”
“No I won’t.” You shook your head. “I have no interest in being where I am not wanted.” 
“Y/n, it's not a choice.” Jeonghan sounded tired. “I'm the strategist and this is an order-” 
“I don't care.” You got up, firm about your decision. “I'm not going anywhere with this man.” 
And with that you stormed away from there, ignoring the faint voice of Jeonghan who sighed and continued giving instructions. 
“We leave tomorrow at daybreak.” 
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You stared at the schedule in your hand wondering why on Earth you hadn't looked at it before you stepped into the classroom. Admittedly all your time went in washing up, changing your clothes, grabbing lunch and rushing for your afternoon lesson, but you should have noticed what was in store for today. 
Friday - Quest Strategy (Choi Seungcheol, Yoon Jeonghan)
And you didn't want to see either of them right now. 
But before you could grab your things and leave the room to make it seem like you were never here in the first place, Jeonghan arrived, standing against the door, watching you pack up. 
“You need to stop running away from everything.” 
As he walked in, you looked up, rolling your eyes. “And you need to stop interfering in my life.” 
“My decisions as strategist aren't personal Y/n, I do what's beneficial for the camp and its members.” He leaned against the board. "Accommodating your individual preference is not a part of my job profile.”
“Okay, that's great, then be prepared for only one of us to come back alive tomorrow.” 
Jeonghan rolled his eyes at your dramatic statement. “What happened between the two of you?” 
You scoffed at him. As if you were going to tell him. 
“Seungcheol has been my comrade since we were teenagers, I know him better than anyone and I know for a fact that he's not the villain you're making him to be.”
“Oh he's not?” You crossed your arms. “Okay then explain why when I was throwing myself onto him for days, he kept avoiding me but the moment I walked away from him, he came chasing? And did the man at least go through with that? No, he decided to leave me hanging yet again and then he behaved like everything that's happening is my fault?” You threw your hands in the air. “No apology, no explanation, he just continued to avoid me and when I finally got him out of my mind, then he decided he wanted to talk to me? I didn't want to, but he couldn't even respect my space and ended up coming to the party and….” 
“And?” Jeonghan looked curiously. 
“And I think he knows that I slept with Soonyoung….” You didn't meet Jeonghan’s eyes. “and Minghao.” 
Jeonghan hummed, nodding his head, taking in all the information, as you added quickly. 
“But it was only because all of us were under the influence of aphrodisiacs-” 
“That's irrelevant.” Jeonghan waved his hand. “Who you choose to be with and what you choose to do is entirely your choice. But you think Seungcheol is mad about that?” 
“I'm not sure. I have a feeling he is.”
“That's not right.” 
“Now you see my point?”
“I didn’t say he wasn't stupid.” Jeonghan rolled his eyes. “But I still stand by the fact that he's not a bad person.” 
“Okay mate, you need to get your head out of your bestie's ass.” 
Jeonghan laughed, shaking his head. You expected him to say something snarky but his expression slowly turned serious. 
“Do you know why you're in Camp Seventeen Y/n?”
“Because I'm a demigod?” That was perhaps the first time you had said that out loud. 
“Yes but why this camp?”
“The Oracle assigned me.”
“Partly.” Jeonghan nodded. “The Oracle of Delphi only assigns demigods to camps that are willing to take them. Seungcheol was the only leader willing to take you.” 
Your lips parted in surprise as Jeonghan continued. 
“Do you know what was supposed to happen the night you were kidnapped and brought to the court?” 
You shook your head. 
“You were going to be attacked.” Jeonghan let out a deep breath. “The sudden activation of your aura after years of dormancy seemed to have drawn in a lot of attention. Days after your little incident, Olympus sent out a report that the levels of monster activity in the city were unprecedentedly high. They said there was a large influx of monsters and we had to be alert but I don't think so. Especially not after what we learnt today.” 
“What do you mean?”
“It's not monsters but one monster that came to the city.” Jeonghan looked at you keenly. “I think it was the Chimaera and I think you are what it's hunting.”
The things in your hand slipped and hit the floor with a thud. You? 
“You mean… I'm the threat in this camp?”
“You're the one in danger.” He corrected. “But yes you are the threat and more importantly, Cheol knows that. He always knew that. It was evident from the start that you were a monster magnet, that you are some kind of anomaly and that making you a part of our camp would only mean more danger but he said it didn't matter. He said as long as someone needed to be saved, he would do it. He said he would be your protector and that's why you're here Y/n - because Cheol made the choice to safeguard you.”
You blinked at a loss of words. 
“Even yesterday, when the geese attacked and we didn't know what was happening at the party, his first instinct was to check if you were okay. That's why he came to the rager. That’s also why he's been so frustrated, why he doesn't want you to accompany him tomorrow. Your safety is his first priority.” 
Letting out a deep breath, you ran your hand through your hair, internally beating yourself up. You had no idea. 
“Will Seungcheol be coming for the lesson today?”
Jeonghan shook his head. “I don't think so, he's busy at Mingyu’s workshop, preparing for tomorrow, like you should be doing too.” 
“I can't possibly learn anything by tonight that'll help me tomorrow.” 
“Yes you can.” Jeonghan walked up to you. “We can try and understand why the Chimaera is after you. We can discuss your lawsuit considering it was the root cause of everything and see if it gives us any answers. Let me just call Wonwoo and-”
“Absolutely not.” You quickly grabbed all your things again. Wonwoo was still on the list of people you didn't want to meet. “I need to find Cheol first.”
And with that you swung your bag over your shoulder, rushing out of the classroom, leaving a sighing Jeonghan behind. 
When you reached Mingyu’s residence, Seungcheol was indeed in the workshop along with a couple of camp members, inspecting the weapons for tomorrow. Immersed in their discussion they didn't notice your presence until you stepped in and Cerberus let out a low growl, his eyes following you. 
“Y/n.” Mingyu jogged up to you, looking concerned. “What are you doing here?” 
“I…” You gulped looking at Seungcheol’s back. “I was hoping to talk to Cheol real quick.” 
“We're in the middle of a meeting, I'm not sure…” 
“Please Mingyu, it'll be quick.” 
“I can ask him but-”
“Gyu.” Seungcheol looked over his shoulder. “What's the matter?”
“Y/n is here,” Mingyu raised his voice. “She wants to talk to you.”
As lightning ripped across the sky, Seungcheol let out a deep breath “Send her away.” 
And for the nth time you could hear your heart breaking because of Seungcheol.
 “Seungcheol I just want to apolo-”
“I don't want to hear it.” He turned to you, voice hard and gaze unforgiving. “Please leave.” 
Mingyu looked at you apologetically as did the other members, Jihoon included. Taking a step back and then another you walked out, the low grumbles of the thunder not louder than the thumping of your heart. 
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Sometimes you really had to remind yourself that Natalie was in fact a pig and not a dog. 
You tended to forget given how much she liked to be taken on walks and sniff everything around. Today she took you from Seungcheol’s house to Mingyu’s to Seungkwan’s to the common cabin and finally to the temple where she found a spot of wet mud and decided to roll in it. That was until she spotted Wonwoo walking by, perhaps heading to secure the camp's borders for the night, given it was nearly dusk. You looked away from him but your pet decided to jump up and follow him like she always loved to do.
Sighing, you walked over to the area designated for campfire and sat on one of the logs, picking on the chips of wood nonchalantly. When the cold wind of the evening caressed your skin, sending shivers down your spine, you looked around, making sure no one was watching you. Realising you were all alone you waved your hand, watching the flames dance on your palm before they floated over to the wood in the middle, lighting the campfire. You stared at the orange flames, Jeonghan's words ringing in your head again - I think you're what it's hunting. 
It couldn't be a coincidence. A powerful monster, a fire breather that had been quiet for centuries, wanting to find you of all people. That couldn't be a coincidence. Was it possible the Chimaera knew something about you? Did it know why you were such a freak? 
And why did Seungcheol choose to protect someone like you? Why won't the man just let you hate him peacefully? He just had to be so righteous and brave and good…. But if he cared about you so much, why did he always pull away? Why did he never reciprocate?
It seemed like life only liked to throw questions at you, never any answers. You were too tired for all this. You just wanted to stop thinking. You just wanted this day to end and let yourself be taken away by sleep so you could forget all this. You just wanted some peace. 
As though the universe hated you, at that exact time, Jihoon walked out of the temple, hands shoved in his pockets, mind clearly elsewhere. You were thankful he hadn't noticed your presence and had almost left the premises busy in his own world until he suddenly stopped at the edge of the trees, turning back to see you. 
As your eyes locked his, he sighed walking back to you, sitting just over a foot away. He didn't say anything and you didn’t know what to say. 
“You're nervous.” He pointed out. “Your heart is racing.” 
You shook your head exasperated. “Do people tell you how annoying it is to be around you?”
“Not quite.” He chuckled. “I don't like being around people.”
“Why am I the exception?” 
“You came looking for me.” 
“You literally just came and sat next to me.”
“I meant earlier.” 
“I'm talking about now.” 
“I just…” He sighed, turning to you. “I just wanted to say, don’t take whatever Seungcheol says to heart. He has too many pressures on him as leader, especially in situations like this-” 
“You know, that excuse is getting very overused. Is his consistent dismissal of me justified just because he's a busy, important man?” 
“It's not.” Jihoon shook his head. “But I thought you should know - his heart was racing just as fast when you came to talk to him. It always is around you.”
You scoffed, tired of people telling you the same thing. 
“All that tachycardia could be pathological. He should get himself checked-” 
“There's clearly something he's unable to tell you, some reason for why he is the way he is.” Jihoon justified. “Give him a chance to explain himself.” 
“I have to give him a chance?” You looked at him incredulously. “Did you not see how he sent me away?”
“Yes I did, it was the same way you ran away to a party when he wanted to talk.” Jihoon rolled his eyes. “If you both just keep being idiots like this, things are never going to get better.” 
“Honestly things don’t have to.” You tugged on the sleeves of your shirt. “It's not like we are star crossed lovers or something. This infatuation or crush or whatever it is, it will eventually die down. All I hope is for us to at least be courteous with each other but he can't even seem to do that.” 
Jihoon stared at the ground. “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” 
That was a question you didn't have an answer to. So you ignored it. 
“I just want us to be pleasant over tomorrow's hunt, that's all. But something tells me things might just get a whole lot worse.” 
“Are you making predictions again?” Jihoon chuckled. “Have you still not learnt that you're horrible at it?”
“Hey, that's not fair.” You laughed along. “Besides, the day is not over yet.” 
“Oh you still think you stand a chance with me?” 
You narrowed your eyes at his laughing self. “I didn't say it had to be you. But you said you could make me cum thrice - I only came once.”
“Twice.” 
“Once.” 
“You're forgetting that I can read your body.” He cocked his head at you. “Twice.” 
“Whatever.” You rolled your eyes. “Still less than three.” 
“You and I both know if I wasn't interrupted I could've done it.” 
“Not true.” You shook your head. “If I blew you, you didn't stand a chance.” 
“How ever will we know which of us is right?” 
He looked at you, something darker swirling behind his eyes and it made your insides twist. There was a way to find out and given how empty you had been feeling since earlier, maybe you would have, if only Seungwkan didn't walk over, settling down on the log across yours. Although Jihoon and you were already sitting apart, the two of you moved further away. 
“Natalie is sleeping in Jun's barn apparently.” Seungkwan informed. “Wonwoo has too much to do today - There won't be a shift handover tomorrow since Hansol and Jihoon will be heading for the hunt.” 
You nodded, not really understanding because you didn't really bother to actually. Your mind was entirely elsewhere, wondering about other possibilities. 
“We uh should probably sleep early since, you know,-” You got up swinging your arms. “-big day tomorrow.” 
“Yeah.” Jihoon followed your suit, slowly standing. “Better get good rest.” 
Seungwkan nodded, glancing at Hansol who was walking over, “You two go ahead, the two of us need to have a little chat.” 
You nodded as the man in question sat beside Seungwkan, poking the fire with a stick, avoiding your eyes as usual. Unbothered, you turned to Jihoon, catching him already looking at you.
“Jihoon can I-” 
“Y/n do you-”
Both of you looked at each other, gulping. 
“I uh…” You tried yet again to feign casualness. “I wanted to ask for the ointment you gave me earlier, for bruises. I… have many mosquito bites.” 
“Right.” He scratched his head. “I was going to offer you the same.” 
“Oh good.” 
“Yeah good.” 
Seungkwan’s eyes flickered between the two of you but it was only when Hansol looked up that you realised just how suspicious this must seem. Waving an uncharacteristic bye, you quickly left, Jihoon following at a considerable distance as you made your way to his residence. 
The events of earlier today repeated in a similar fashion - Jihoon plucked a few herbs and walked into his house. You followed him, straight into his pantry this time considering neither of you needed a change of clothes. He proceeded to grind up the greens in a paste as you leaned against the door, watching the strong muscles of his back. Fuck you’d love to run your nails down that. 
“What are we doing Y/n?” Finally stopping whatever he was doing, Jihoon gripped the edges of the counter, his expression unseen. 
“I don’t know what you are doing.” You shrugged. “I am just here to prove I was right.” 
Chuckling, Jihoon turned to you. When he saw you slowly unbuttoning the shirt you had donned, his eyes darkened. “Straight down then left.” He turned back to whatever he was doing. “Wait in my room.” 
Pulling your shirt off your shoulders you threw it at him, letting out a giggle and walking away. 
“I don’t like to wait!” You announced, following his instructions. Almost. 
On the way your eyes fell on the music room you had seen earlier, legs instinctively taking a detour. There were all kinds of instruments in there - banjos on the wall, guitars lined up beside the drum set. There was a large grand piano too and a huge computer with all kinds of equipment around. It was impressive to say the least. 
“I said left, not right.” Jihoon walked in, one hand shoved in his pocket, another holding on to a strange, black drink.
“You have a recording studio here.” 
“I would say you're observative but it's pretty obvious so that would be an overstatement.” 
“How do you power these?” You turned to him. “Without electricity?”
“Well you’re analytical, I’ll give you that.” He let out a small laugh before he explained. “I’m the Sun’s progeny - a little solar energy goes a long way.” 
“So all of these work?” You looked around surprised. “Can I listen to something you’ve made?” 
“I don’t think we’re close enough for that.” 
You rolled your eyes. “But we’re close enough for you to have your fingers in me?” 
“You asked for it.” He shrugged. “And I’m a giver.” 
Laughing, you ran your fingers across the piano. “Can you at least play something for me?” 
Jihoon looked at you for a solid minute before he let out a resigned breath. Setting the drink down on the counter, he grabbed a saxophone from the wall and aligned it with his mouth. You leaned against the piano, urging him to continue with the tilt of the head. 
As the sultry sound of his melody rang through the room, you found yourself swaying to it - it was a good piece, a sexy one that definitely worked to set the mood. But you had ways you could do that on your own too. 
Nearing him, each step matching the rhythm of the music, you ran your hand along his groin, feeling his erection already waiting for you. Smirking to yourself you got on your knees before him, hands working on his waistband and surprisingly, you heard him mess up a note. 
“Uh oh.” You tutted, looking up at him. “No mistakes, no fumbling or I’ll stop.” 
Jihoon tensed under your touch, continuing to play his piece, facing turning red but the melody not stopping. Unzipping his pants, you just about leaned in to give the bulge in his underwear a butterfly of a kiss when you felt a chill run down your body. Something was wrong. 
As though you’d lost all sense of autonomy, you could feel yourself moving back, sitting on your heels, your hands proceeding to unclasp your bra instead. Sliding it down your arms and throwing it away, you got up and shimmied out of your shorts and underwear in one go. You gulped as Jihoon watched you sit on the black couch across him, breaths shallow and fast, chest heaving because this wasn’t you - you somehow had no control over your body. You didn’t mean to pull your legs up and spread them open or run your fingers along your slit, or slide them into your wet hole as though you were putting on a show for him. Yes you felt good but none of this was you. 
Jihoon watched with hooded eyes as you pumped your fingers in and out, free hand moving up to squeeze a boob. Everything moved to its own accord, working you up with a vigor you would have never used on yourself, the sound of the wetness and your moans almost drowning out the song. Your back arched as you felt everything tense, but your eyes did not leave Jihoon’s who finally could not take it anymore, setting the sax aside, leaning over you. 
His own fingers found your clit, rubbing onto it in a way that unmistakably tightened the coil in you. Whimpers left your mouth and though it felt like you were in control of yourself again, you couldn’t stop. Not now, not when you were feeling so good, not when you were so close…. Not until Jihoon whispered. 
“Come on sweetheart, cum for me.”
And you did, around your own fingers, eyes seeing white as he continued to tease your clit, a groan rumbling across his chest. 
“Wha…” You panted, slowly coming down from your high, arousal leaking out of you. “What the hell just happened?” 
“That-” Jihoon smirked, straightening himself. “-was my prediction coming true.” 
“But why could I… why could I not…” 
“Control yourself?” 
You nodded.
“Because the song you just heard is what we call Apollo’s Anthem.” He cocked his head at you victoriously. “If mastered, the one who plays it can make anyone dance to their tunes, like you just did.” 
“That….” Your eyes widen with realization. “That was you? Making me do all that?”
He nodded. 
“Now that's cheating.” You huffed, pulling your legs together, pressing them. “I demand a rematch. We're gonna have to redo-” 
“Next time.” He fisted the material at the back of his neck and pulled his shirt over this head. “Right now there's another prediction we need to work on.”
You furrowed your eyebrows as Jihoon stripped out of his pants, baring himself completely given he had gone commando underneath. 
“For fucks sake, I've been hard since the afternoon and there's nothing I can think other than cumming inside you.”
A triumphant smirk danced across your lips as you leaned back, watching his callously stroke his length. 
“You know, I had my fill with three orgasms today and I'm quite exhausted. I see no reason I have to indulge.” 
Jihoon blinked at you. “Didn't you want to be proven right?” 
“Nope.” You shook your head. “My math teacher always used to say, the truth never needs to be proven, it always reveals itself. He was a hot man, now that I'm thinking about him, very irresistible.” 
“Can we please not talk about your hot math teacher while I'm jerking off?” Jihoon groaned. “Now I'm thinking of my math teacher and he was a gnome of a man.” 
You laughed, watching as he picked up the pace, desperate to finish himself. 
“Is your right hand satisfying enough?” 
“No but I'll have to settle for imagining it's you.” He whimpered. “Albeit it's not even close to how tight you were.” 
You hummed, suddenly feeling both pity for him and curiosity as to just how much a dick as thick as that could stretch you out. “Do you still want to fuck me?” 
“Why is that still a question?” 
“I'll allow it.” Spreading your legs again, you ran your fingers along the folds again, this time wantonly, smearing the remnants of your previous orgasm all over. “But only because you've to hunt tomorrow and I don't want you to be distracted, thinking about dicking me down-.” 
“Stop talking and move over.” He muttered and finally you listened, shifting to the side as he sat beside you. Wasting no time, he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you into his lap, his dick grazing against your clit, sending a jolt down your body. As you held his shoulders, he pumped himself a few times before aligning the tip right at your hole, dragging it along the wetness agonisingly slowly. 
“Jihoon for god's sake, just put it in.” 
“Say you want me to fuck you.” 
“You want me to fuck you.” 
Your bratty-ness was met with a painful spank on the ass. 
“Say it.” He rubbed the area softly, before spreading the cheeks, the head of his dick ever so slightly entering you. “Say you want this as much as me.” 
You tried to chase that feeling, sink further down his length, but his grip was strong and unnerving. 
“Fuck Jihoon please.” You whined as his mouth wrapped around your nipple, sucking it. “Let's just do this already.”
“Can’t hear you.” 
“Jihoon…” You begged as he pulled out, leaving you clenching around nothing. 
“Walls are soundproof sweetheart.” He reached up, nuzzling your neck. “Let me hear you.” 
“For fucks sake, fuck me already Jihoon!” You babbled, desperate to not lose the feeling of him sliding into you again. “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me-” 
“Ride me.” He whispered, pushing you down on his cock, the sheer thickness of it nearly splitting you open. “God you're so tight.” 
“And you're so big.” You moaned, as you bottomed out on him, feeling every inch of his thickness against your fluttering walls. 
Jihoon allowed you to adjust to his length, mouth working on marking your breasts instead but when you began involuntary squeezing him he pulled away, biting his lip like he couldn’t take it anymore. 
“Y/n....” He mumbled, fingers gripping your waist tighter. “Move.” 
And you did, like your life depended on it, knees digging into the couch taking support. With his hands sliding down to your ass again, he helped too, bouncing you on him with a pace you could not have managed on your own. You threaded your fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck, head thrown back, guttural moans leaving you. Jihoon seemed to enjoy all of it, the way you sounded, the way you felt around him, the way you gripped his hair as your core began to tighten threateningly. You could tell from the way he chose to hold you in place instead, thrusting himself up into you and your arousal dripping down his length filthily that you were close but he was far from ready for this to be over. 
Oh this was going to be a long night. 
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“Y/n wake up.” It was the soft shaking that drew you out of your sleep. “It’s nearly dawn.”
Jihoon’s face hovered over yours, looking tense. You stretched awake, blinking your eyes open, looking around - you were still in his music room, lying on his couch. You must’ve slept here last night, you didn’t even realise when you went into a deep slumber. From all the bedding on the floor you figured Jihoon crashed in here with you despite having a room of his own in his own house. Slightly thankful that he was gracious enough to not leave you alone, you sat up, pulling your hair into a bun. 
“The boys are done washing up if you wish to hit the showers.” He gathered the remaining of your clothes on the floor, which was really just your bra and handed it to you. “You should also eat something. We skipped dinner last night.” 
Of course you did. 
You’d never had sex this intense before last night. You vaguely remembered cumming nearly three more times - once while you were riding him, right before he emptied his load right into you and two more before he pulled you off him and had you on your knees on the couch, your ass and his cum dripping out of you on display for him as he fucked you and filled you one more time. After that, right before you faded into a deep sleep, you also recalled him cleaning you, handing you that black drink from earlier and helping you get dressed - eating was not even on your agenda before you passed out. 
But now admittedly, you were hungry and also in desperate need for a shower so you swung your legs off the couch and got to your feet. Taking a step was particularly difficult though, given how sore you were. 
“Here.” Jihoon handed you a glass of the same potion. “It’ll help with the pain.” 
Muttering a small thanks, you downed the bitter juice in one gulp. As you returned the glass he handed you a small box of a very familiar green ointment, looking pointedly at your neck. Apparently he had given you his own set of the very bruises he had healed yesterday. Scoffing, you took it from him, walking away, towards the main door. 
“Are you okay?” He asked from behind as you nodded, looking over your shoulder.
“Thank you Jihoon, for everything.” and with that you shut the door, stepping out into the darkness before dawn, taking a deep breath. 
Something about Jihoon’s expression told you he was expecting you to say something more but you didn’t have anything else to say. He was a distraction, you were successfully distracted and now you were back to your reality and the real world. Now it was time to face Seungcheol again. 
Realising the sun would be out in a while, you quickly headed for a shower keeping your head down not to meet the eyes of the boys busy loading the cars at the edge of the camp. As you walked into the bathhouse you wondered if you would meet your regular bypasser at this time of the day too and brushed off the possibility but to your complete surprise, Wonwoo, fully dressed for a change, was right there, leaning against the lockers as though he was waiting for you. 
“You're on time.”
“And I don't have the time for you.” You rolled your eyes, grabbing your towel, heading towards the showers.
“Careful Y/n.” Wonwoo called out from behind you, his voice a lot less nonchalant than it normally was. “The Chimaera is no small monster. It's dangerous, manipulative and feeds on chaos.”
You glanced at him over your shoulder as he continued.
“If things take a turn and you're forced to face it, do whatever it takes to fight it. Don't think, don't analyse, just do it.” 
Frowning, you turned to him, wondering why he was suddenly saying all this but without explaining himself any further, Wonwoo straightened himself and simply left from there. 
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By the time you had arrived at the dining hall, right around the time the sun had begun to peak from behind the mountains, all the boys had gathered around the table, dressed in armours and gear. Jeonghan was leading the meeting again, walking around handing something that looked a lot like a golden medallion. 
“Keep your energy readers close to you at all times - the Chimaera is a very intelligent monster but it's not very fast, so in a critical situation, early detection may be what saves your lives.” Noticing your presence, he walked up to you, holding the medallion out. “This is an energy reader. The way demigods have auras, monsters do too and this little handy thing can pick up on it. The closer you are to a creature, the warmer it gets so pay attention. If the medallion manages to pick the right frequency, it will morph into an image of the monster so you'll know exactly what it is. Understood?”
You nodded. 
“Turn.” 
And you did, as he pushed your hair onto a shoulder and secured the chain at the nape of your neck. You ran your fingers across the golden indentation of the surface curiously - it was kind of heavy. 
“Your armour is in Cheol's car.” Mingyu piqued from his seat. “So are the flares and your looking glass.”
You turned to Jeonghan who understood the confusion etched on your face. 
“You are, at no point, allowed to abandon your partner but on the off chance that you are separated, send a flare and it will help him identify your location and a looking glass-” He pulled out a small pane of glass from his pocket. “-is how you can communicate with the members. Just say the name of whoever you want to talk to and they'll appear on it.” 
Finally understanding you nodded, as Jeonghan handed you one last thing - a folded paper. 
“This is a copy of the map. Seungcheol will be driving so be sure to guide him properly.” 
You looked over his shoulder at the leader who seemed tense. 
“Whatever is going on between you two, please just keep aside for one day.” Jeonghan looked at you pointedly and sighing, you nodded. You would be courteous with him, you could do that much. 
As the boys began shuffling around, getting to their feet and leaving the hall, a hand on your arm stopped you from following. 
“Breakfast.” Jun held out with a small box that looked like it was filled to the brim. “Eat on the way. You'll need your energy.” 
Muttering a grateful thanks, you took it from him, glancing at Minghao who was standing beside him, arms crossed. 
“I know you're not fully trained but every demigod should have a weapon on them when they're out in the real world.” Your trainer put a pair of daggers in your hand. “Twin blades. I think they'll suit you.” 
You turned the sheathed weapons in your hand, liking how light they felt. Minghao seemed proud of how comfortable you were. 
“Stay safe doll.” 
He called out as you left, a new unknown fear coursing through you as everything got more and more real. 
By the time you reached the gates, everyone else had already taken off, leaving only Seungcheol leaning against his G wagon, waiting for you. The things Mingyu mentioned were in the passenger seat, neatly folded when you opened the door. As you tried to quickly slip them all on, Seungcheol waited, not offering to help, not even looking, just staring out at the woods. When you finally clambered in, he got in too, turning on the engine and taking off swiftly. You stared at the map on your lap - fuck, it was a long ride. 
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In the 2 hours that the two of you had been driving, the sun had fully risen, you had finished your breakfast and not one word that was irrelevant to the route had been exchanged. You stared out of the window, watching the trees whizz by - you had crossed much of the town houses in the outskirts and the road was getting narrower and lonelier now. It made sense why a monster would hide out here. 
“How much further?” Seungcheol asked, fingers drumming the wheel. 
“Until we reach the big olive tree.” You peered at the map trying to understand the images instead given you couldn't read Greek. “There we turn left.” 
Seungcheol hummed, then silence descended once again. 
It was a miracle you went through so much time without saying anything to the man beside you. Considering it was just the two of you and neither of you could run, it was the perfect time to talk about everything going on but you found yourself complying with Jeonghan’s instructions and keeping quiet. Perhaps because you had too much on your mind. 
As nonchalant as you tried to seem, the Chimaera terrified you. It wasn't because it was apparently a big scary monster but because it was seeking you. You were no idiot - you knew that if a creature that powerful wanted to kill you, it could have at many instances when you were being particularly reckless. This one definitely wanted something else from you and the thought of that was more terrifying. What could a monster possibly need from you? 
You didn't know. And maybe like most things in your life you wouldn't get to know. Like you didn't get to meet Hestia, or didn't understand why your powers were so different, or didn't know how to cope with the fact that you could never be a mother. It was perhaps just another thing to add to this never ending list. 
“Y/n.” Seungcheol's hand on your arm pulled you out of your thoughts. “How many times do I have to ask? Is that the tree?” 
You glanced at it and then back at the map and nodded. “Yeah, sorry, that's the one.” 
Shifting gears Seungcheol slowed down, turning left like you told him to but to both of your surprise, the road ahead led straight into a forest that was submerged in darkness despite it being so early in the day. Confused, Seungcheol turned on the headlights as he drove ahead but the moment the car moved ahead, the lights turned off. 
Frowning, he tried again, only to receive the same result - the lights kept turning off. 
Annoyed, he stopped the vehicle, grabbing a rather large lighter from the dashboard and stepped out, opening up the hood. Unbuckling your belt, you followed him. 
“Sit inside Y/n.”
“How are you supposed to hold the lighter and fix this thing?” You grabbed the light from him and held it over the engine. “Is there a problem?”
Seungcheol peered at the machinery, frowning. “I don't think so. I don't know why…..” He trailed off like a realisation hit him. “Did you say the tree we crossed was an olive tree?”
“I think it was?” You held out the map for Seungcheol to see. “I can't read Greek.”
“That’s not an olive tree and this isn't any ordinary forest….” He turned to you, both your faces illuminated by the faint light of the fire. “This is the Forest of Nyx, the Goddess of the Night.” 
“Is that why the lights won't work?” You whispered, feeling a chill run down your body. “Is that why it's so dark?” 
“It's always night at her realm. No light, no Gods, no eyes are allowed here.” He gulped as though he suddenly realised the proximity between the two of you. “No one can see us here.” 
You frowned not understanding what he meant when he shut the hood, the headlights surprisingly flaring up again. Before you could even process what was going on, he pulled you up against him, the lighter dropping from your hands due to the sheer force as your body pressed against his. 
“Cheol-”
“No one can see us Y/n.” He whispered, eyes drifting to your lips. “No one.” 
And in a flash, his mouth was on yours - hot, wanting and desperate. 
You gripped his arms, taken aback by the suddenness but when he pulled you closer like he didn't even want air between the two of you, you ran your hands up his chest and neck, threading them into his thick hair. Taking that as a sign of approval, he moved his hands down, briefly squeezing your ass before catching hold of your thighs and lifting you with unsurprising ease, wrapping your legs around his waist. You moaned when you felt his tongue slip into your mouth, his hands annoyed by all the armour as though they wanted to rip it out. 
It was only when you felt breathless and pulled back that he finally let you go. Looking up at you equally breathless, eyes almost pleading, the words that you'd been dying to hear left his mouth at last. 
“Fuck I've wanted this for so long.” He groaned. “I wanted you for so long Y/n, please….” 
You gulped, stiffening when you understood what he was begging for.
Choi Seungcheol wanted to fuck you.
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A/n - aaaaand scene hehe
If you've managed to make it till the end, congratulations, this was a long one, I'm sorry buttttt Cheol enthusiasts (aka everyone) y'all are in for a ride next chapter hehe, stay tuned!
And if you enjoyed reading, please don't forget to leave feedback in the comments or tags - we've got lots of chapters to go and hearing thoughts really helps <3
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pers1st · 1 day ago
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she's got a way (she got away)
inspired by chappel roan's the subway!
pairing: alexia putellas x reader
summary: after the World Cup, your mind is set on leaving Spain - Alexia doesn't expect you to leave her too
It was clear, from the moment the Euros ended for the Spanish national team, that this situation would, at one point, escalate. You had been sure of it, despite the fact that all throughout the tournament, you hadn't been able to focus on anything but your girlfriend's recovery. Her knee was in pain, and so was her heart, and you were in England, unable to help due to the strict rules Jorge had set up.
Along with Irene, Mapi and Jenni, you were one of the most experienced, as well as one of the most vocal players. Your manager was slowly losing the team - it was evident that no one would really listen to a thing he said anymore, and he needed you to keep them in check. At least that was your theory as to why he appeared in your room almost every night, asking you the most absurd questions, and calming his mind with the thought of you keeping his back.
You didn't, though. It was merely the worry clouding your head that had you unable to speak your critiques, as you had done before. Jorge didn't need to know the reason, though - you were quiet, that was all he needed for now.
Alexia welcomed you back to Barcelona with open arms, though she noticed the bags under your eyes and the residue of salt on your cheeks. It was hard to miss - the fact that you were completely and utterly done. You were done.
You wouldn't go back to the Spanish National team. Not like this, and not without Alexia.
Your girlfriend was your biggest rock, and despite the fact that she was undergoing her own struggle, or perhaps that was the exact reason why, the two of you leaned onto each other more than ever. Set under pressure by the RFEF, the only way for you to escape was to lean your head on your lovers shoulders and close your eyes. Alexia didn't need to hear. She knew what was going on, without you ever speaking it out loud, and just before the World Cup, she started fighting hard for the federation to make up for their mistakes, and finally give their players a bit of fucking attention.
Still, she had to beg you. Had to beg you to come back, promising she wouldn't leave your side, promising things would be different, better. And they were, for a little bit.
The moment you allowed yourself to believe that your voices had been heard was a fleeting one. The referee blew her whistle, the English players fell to the ground in disappointment, and Alexia sprinted towards you full charge.
A moment later, when you were lifted into the air, and touched in places that left your skin burning, it was gone again. That little faith, the tiny bit of hope. It was gone. And a part of you was, too.
You had your medal. You had your picture with the trophy, you had a week of alcohol.
But still, the World Cup was tainted, and the horrifying response by not only the Spanish federation but also the Spanish press, and people, they made everything else unimportant.
You had been holding off on extending your contract. You had told the club you weren't sure yet-
You had been sure. Before the World Cup, the whole discussions and meetings had been merely a strategy to have a little more compensation for the work you did - it had been your agent's idea, but you had agreed either way.
Now, you weren't sure.
Spain felt different, in a way. You didn't believe that the country wanted you anymore, partly because you had been very vocal about what had happened, partly because the RFEF had told you so. Despite Rubiales' resign, they wanted an apology, a public one, for the comments and statements you had published. Otherwise, they didn't want you anymore.
That fateful email slipped further down with every new email you received, and by the time you told Alexia about their threats, the transfer window was almost closed.
It was rainy, that night. It never really rained in Spain that often, especially not in September. Your girlfriend had hoped the two of you could sit on your balcony and enjoy a glass of wine, for once. But it rained and you sat on the couch and before Alexia could place her drink on the sofa, something within you broke.
You didn't want to leave - you wanted Spain, wanted Barcelona, wanted Alexia.
Tears fell from your eyes so quickly Alexia didn't know what to do, almost spilling her beverage all over the couch in order to get to you.
"Amor, what's wrong?", she asked, over and over again, until all she could do was wrap her arms around you and hold your shaking frame until you calmed down enough to say something. Anything. She really just wanted to hear your voice.
"I think I have to leave", you breathed, finally, just when Alexia had believed you to be asleep.
Silence remained in your shared apartment.
And it seemed even more present when your last things had been moved to Manchester, and you were gone for good.
Your voice still sounded through the hallways, usually as the of two of you cooked dinner, separated by the ocean and phones on the counter, loud speaker enabled. You had vowed to each other to speak regularly, FaceTime if possible, and make visits as often as possible.
Alexia couldn't get used to it, though. It was quiet.
However, the changing room was louder than ever. With every week that you played in the color blue, the girls had something new to talk about. Alexia couldn't participate, because as much as she wanted to, it only reminded her that another week without a phone call had passed. You had said you were tired, yesterday, and you had said so the day before as well.
Moving was big. Especially if it was to another country. Alexia believed that you were tired, she really did.
"She scored another, on Sunday. Did you see?", Mapi pointed around the room animatedly, laughing along as Pina enacted the way you had put your entire force behind the shot, almost falling over her own legs as Cata leapt to the side, pretending to miss a shot.
"It was so good! She is shining!"
Unsatisfied with the acting performance of her own team, Alexia decided she needed to see for herself. Barcelona was playing this Friday, and since your game was on a Sunday, she would have enough time to fly over to Manchester with Jana and watch you and Jill in person.
It was a surprise, and she could see in your eyes as you gazed through the family section, that you genuinely were surprised. Leia was standing next to you, arm across your shoulder, finding her own friends in the crowd shortly before warm up would begin.
You radiated, waving to Leia's parents, shortly before your eyes caught those of your lover. Though you hadn't seen them in a while, you recognized them instantly, and your smile dropped for a split second, before it grew even wider. Waving your hands through the air, the stadium seemed smaller, all of a sudden. Alexia felt a rush of warmth throughout her body. Then, you turned around, focussing back on the task ahead, the way you always could.
Alexia could see it, then. You were happier than you had been for a while. She knew the weight that had pulled you down over the past year, and despite the fact that she was genuinely relieved to see you get on so well, it also inflicted a pang of something else.
Was it jealousy? Was it fear?
Jealousy that Manchester gave you something Alexia never could?
Fear that you would come to the same conclusion?
Alexia couldn't tell, but she could tell, as the stadium roared with each of the goals you scored, that you were happy. Jumping into the air to celebrate a goal you merely would've smiled for in Barcelona, all of your teammates crowding you happily, tapping your head and laughing along as you jogged back into position - you were different.
You had changed, silently, right in front of Alexia's eyes. She knew it was for the better.
A brief talk after the game followed, an excited kiss over the barrier, an apology as you rushed to the changing room to get changed, promising to meet her in the lounge after.
Then came the reassurance.
No, it's fine, I don't have to go for drinks with the others.
No, really, I want to have a nice evening with you before you have to leave again.
Of course I want to know how things are in Spain.
The word left your lips as though it sliced your tongue in the process, and despite the fact that you watched Alexia's brow furrow for the split of a second, the both of you never mentioned it again. The conversation dulled out, and despite the fact that Alexia was going to meet Jana at the airport hours later, she slowly began gathering her things.
You didn't stop her.
You brought her to the airport, and she promised Jana was on her way already. You wouldn't need to wait with her.
The previous goodbye had been different. There had been tears cascading down the both of your faces, whereas this time, there was merely a little glimmer of wet in Alexia's lashes.
There had been promises and plans, when you had left Barcelona. Plans to visit, promises to call, to make this work.
Now, you didn't even know when you would come back to Spain. If you would come back to Spain.
Your Catalan was rusty already, a hint of an accent coming through, that shocked Alexia at first.
She knew it was for the better, though. You weren't sad to watch Alexia leave, and Alexia would learn to live with that. It took two hours until Jana came. By the time the two walked towards their gate, Alexia's tears had dried. By the time the plane touched down in Barcelona, your lover had made up her mind to call you later. By the time she got to training later, she could only answer Mapi's question -
How is she doing?
With a wet "She got away."
Mapi didn't even question her best friend's answer, didn't furrow her brows at the prospect of her two best friends' breaking up, she merely offered a bitter smile.
Good for her, Mapi thought, too scared to voice her words out loud for the fear of hurting Alexia. Unbeknownst to her, your ex girlfriend thought the same exact thing.
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ienjoywritingfilth · 3 days ago
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a sinner i am part iv
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trope: Boyfriend's Dad PP character: Joel Miller x f reader / Shawn Miller x f reader / Joel Miller x Tess chapter summary: You and Joel find yourselves alone and things finally come to a head.
wanna see the other parts?
please reblog and review and follow me and all that good shit - IEWF
warning: oral (m and then m gets it), p in v sex, cheating on your bf (but it’s cool, cuz its with Joel and everything is fictional in this universe), fantasy cheating, daddy thrown around, cum swallowing, dirteeee talk, alternative universe b/c daddy miller stays alive and hates golf and he has a son named Shawn, no Sarah. rating: E
words 3.8 taglist: @lady-viscera | @cjdign | @fuckthatbazinga | @liciafonseca | @stevie75 | @joelalorian | @oldenoughtoknowbettersstuff | @akah565 | @dontknow446 | @pedritosgfreal | @yesjazzywazzylove-blog | @untamedheart81 | @ashleyfilm | @sptbear | @elegantduckturtle | @auteurdelabre | @noneofmyshipsarereal | @blahkateisdone | @hisandsnakes | @wintersquirrel | @shivkillian | @sheepdogchick3 | @moel-jiller | @cuteanimalmama | @gossipgirl-03 | @cowboymarcs | @tahi2006 | @guelyury | @churchofjoemiller | @r3dheadedwitch | @tutarrads | @galway-girlatwork | @supertoga | @gabymalikk
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part iv : a moment alone
My heart tells me this is the best and greatest feeling I have ever had. But my mind knows the difference between wanting what you can’t have and wanting what you shouldn’t want. And I shouldn’t want you. — Cassandra Clare
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Joel and you sit awkwardly across from one another that evening after dinner, trying to join in on the laughter from your partners. 
"Tess couldn't stop screaming," Shawn laughs as he shows the table the video he took of Tess in the ATV next to him. 
"You were driving so crazy!" Tess giggles back. She's under Joel's arm, smiling. She's beautiful and flushed from the wine.
"How was your ride today you two?"  
There it is again: That strange energy that seems to exist between you and Joel. You shoot him a look, surprised to see him looking strangely at you as well. 
"It was really beautiful," you say as you bring out your phone from your shorts pocket. "This was the lookout." 
Shawn and Tess bend over to look at the beautiful shots you took this afternoon. You'd been so peaceful at that lookout over the ocean, thankful to be away from Joel and your strong desire for him. 
"Thankfully Joel drove safely," you say forcing a grin at him over their heads. Tess and Shawn laugh as Joel offers a shallow snigger. 
"Despite this Tess still wants to hike that damn volcano tomorrow morning," Shawn says smirking at her over the table. "At fucking sunrise."
"It's supposed to be gorgeous that time of day!" Tess takes another sip of her wine. 
Joel takes a deep gulp of his beer, trying to be present but unable to stop thinking about his daydream earlier. Joel watches his sons arm crook around your neck, pulling you close to him. 
"Well I know my girl here likes to sleep in." 
Shawn's palm grazes your breast as he shifts and Joel watches your nipple pebble in your thin shirt. Joel feels his cock twitch in response and he prays that Tess doesn't notice. 
"I also like to sleep in on vacation," you remind Shawn playfully. Your head rests on his shoulder and you feel fondness at how attentive Shawn is being to you today. 
"Well you're gonna be bored tomorrow then," Shawn teases you, "Cause we're all hiking it."
Joel gives a groan at the idea. He agreed to it because Tess insisted he join them. But he doesn't really want to do it. His back is sore and he’s so fucking pent up because of you. This vacation is turning into a nightmare.
"If we're leaving early we should hit the hay," Shawn says with a yawn. "Meet at the car at five?"
Everyone agrees and you rise with Shawn taking your hand in his. Joel watches you murmur something to his son and Shawn chuckles, nodding. The two of you disappear into your bedroom, the door closing quickly. 
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Tess bounces on Joel's cock her pretty breasts jumping with every thrust of his hips upwards. His wide hands keep her from falling over and he grunts with every fall of their bodies. The second they got into the bedroom she pushed him onto the mattress and handed him a condom. 
"Missed this cock," she whispered as she guided the head through her damp folds. 
"Missed this sweet pussy," Joel whispered back. "Missed how she looks when she's full of me." 
Even through the condom Tess feels good. So tight and warm it's only a matter of time before the two of them are groaning into each other's mouths in an attempt to keep quiet. Tess tilts back and begins to ride him earnestly her hips rolling. Joel watches how she slides her pussy up and down his wet dick. 
It's just like the fantasy in the ATV. Only it's not Tess he's seeing, it's you in your flimsy clothes riding him. Your pretty face all scrunched up as you bounce on him. 
"You're so big Joel," you cry for him. "Too big for my tight pussy." 
"Fuuuuuck," Joel groans. 
Tess grins down at her boyfriend watching the hypnotized way he gazes where his cock is swallowed by her cunt. 
"You feel so good," she tells him before she begins to ride him furiously, the bed squeaking. Joel grunts with one hand fisting the pillow behind his head. 
"Fucking take it," he grits out as your tight body continues playing behind his eyes. "Fucking take my cum like a good little whore does." 
Tess, turned on from the dirty talk covers her mouth with her hand and moans into her palm. She doesn't want you and Shawn to hear.  Joel is in a state of bliss with Tess squeezing his cock and your phantom body riding him. He can picture your face squeezed in an expression of pleasure. 
"This is so bad, daddy." 
All of a sudden Joel is sitting up and bouncing Tess furiously in his lap. She cries out in pleasure. 
"Beg daddy to let you come," Joel growls into her ear. "Beg daddy to use your cunt." 
Tess feels her core tightening. Joel has always been good in bed but this feels different almost like he's desperate for her. 
"Please daddy," she whimpers. 
"Please daddy what?" Joel groans back. 
"Please cum in me," Tess says as the orgasm starts in her lower belly. "Use my cunt."
Joel falls back on the bed, his forehead slick with sweat and his hips jutting up brutally. Tess rides him, body twitching as her orgasm nears. 
"Show me how a good girl cums for her daddy," Joel rasps.
Tess grips the headboard of the bed and begins to drop down onto his cock over and over until she lets out a muffled whine. Joel lets out a choked moan and spurts into the condom. 
When Joel returns from tossing the condom in the bathroom trash Tess is already in her nightdress smiling at him. He crawls into bed next to her and pulls her into a hug. 
Tess smiles at him with a glint in her light eyes. 
"Daddy huh?"
Joel feels his cheeks going red. He tries to shrug it off casually, unable to look her in the face. 
"Just wanted to try something new."
The truth is Joel has never used that nickname in the bedroom. He never understood why men wanted to hear it. But for some reason when he pictures you, he wants you to moan it for him. He wants that taboo edge that comes along with it, that desperate notion that it's wrong on so many levels that makes him think of you naked and blissed-out underneath him while he fucks his girlfriend.  
"I liked it," Tess says as she snuggles closer to him. He feels a pang of guilt at what just happened and he kisses her sweetly in remorse. He can’t look at her anymore so Joel flicks of the lamp next to the bed and leaves the room dark.
"I've missed you," Tess says breathlessly next to him. "We've both been so busy at work." 
"I know," he sighs tracing little circles along the side of her ribcage. "Gotta get better at that work life balance shit." 
Tess laughs, pulling his face to hers for a kiss before announcing that she's exhausted and going to sleep. Joel lays awake as he hears his girlfriend drift off to sleep. Her snores begin but another sound soon has his attention. 
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You kneel between Shawn's spread legs on the bed with your mouth wrapped around his cock. Your hands are on either side of his thighs and your ass is in the air. You moan around his length trying to sound enthused but in truth all you want to do is go to bed. However you feel so guilty over the dirty thoughts you've been having about his dad that you felt you needed to do this. He lies back on the crisp white bedding with his hips jerking up as he passively lets you suck and taste. 
"Your mouth is so good," Shawn grunts as you go down on him. 
You breathe through your nose, frustrated that you've been at it so long because your jaw is starting to hurt. You need to think of something to keep you going. Your eyes fall shut and even though you don't want to you begin to think of Joel. How thick his cock looked through his shorts and how much bigger he is than Shawn. Shawn groans appreciatively as your tongue flicks the underside of his cock. In your head its Joel your leaning between the legs of. Joel's cock hitting the back of your throat. You groan again but this time with sincerity at the thought. 
"I'm gonna cum," Shawn tells you with a whimper. Your eyes pop open and go up his body to see his eyes squeezed shut. You begin to suck harder just wanting this to be over. 
He grips the pillow behind his head as he erupts in your mouth sending hot seed coating your tongue. 
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck!" 
You hate swallowing cum. It's always grossed you out and tonight is no exception. You throw your legs off the side of the bed and rush into the bathroom. 
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Joel hears the sound of the adjoining bathroom door swinging open and of bare feet slapping over the tile floor. He rolls onto his side and looks at the crack under his door to see the individual hasn't turned on the light. There's the unmistakable sound of spitting into the sink then water running.
The figure begins rinsing it's mouth and then he hears them spit into the sink again. After a pause there is a gentle sigh and Joel knows that it's you in there. His tummy tightens. He realizes what's just occurred. You spit again and then the door on your side creaks shut. 
You didn't swallow his cum. 
Joel can't understand why that turns him on so much. All he knows is despite cumming moments earlier he still goes to sleep with his cock so hard it throbs. 
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Shawn rises early the next morning to the soft chime of a text. He looks at it then at you and sighs before sending something off in reply. He feels tense as he dresses for the day, sure to wear his best hiking shoes. He looks at you again and sees the drool at the corner of your mouth. 
"Gonna head for a hike to that volcano," Shawn whispers, pressing a ginger kiss to your temple. "Be back in a few hours."
"Mmmmhmmmm okay babe,"' you mutter drowsy with your eyes closed. You're barely awake, still warm and half slumbering. 
You don't know how much time has passed before you wake up again to the empty house. You stretch, groaning as your back pops. You yawn, heading into the bathroom, surprised to see it's foggy. You're eyes are closed as you walk to the sink, squeezing toothpaste onto the brush and staring to scrub. You don't even hear the shower running until it suddenly turns off. 
"Hey." 
Your eyes fly open to look at the mirror in front of you. Joel stands in the glass shower with his brown eyes wide. He's naked and wet from the shower. 
"Fuck!"You drop the brush in the sink and go stumbling back groping for the door. "Shit I'm sorry-" you sputter with a loud thunk of your heart. You feel like your whole body is shaking. 
"its fine," Joel says in a strained voice. You're thankful his lower half shielded by the shower etching. "Don't worry, it's fine!"
Your hand flies over your eyes as you finally push back against the door, trying in vain to locate the door handle. You hear the creak of the shower door. 
"I didn't know," you shriek, "I thought everyone was hiking!"
You hear shuffling and you assume Joel must be wrapping the towel around him as he steps out of the shower. 
"Honey its fine."
You feel thick fingers coming to wrap around your wrist, tugging it down. Your eyes are exposed, wide and stuck on Joel. His hair is pushed back from the water and he glistens with droplets. 
"It's not a big deal it was an accident.”  
"It feels like a big deal." Your eyes begin trailing down his strong stomach to look at the pristine white hotel towel wrapped around his waist. 
"Why?" 
The moment is charged now, the two of your breathing increasingly quicker. Your eyes trail back up his body, taking their time along his naked chest before they finally glue to Joel's parted lips. 
"You know why Joel." 
His dark eyes grow darker. You can see the way that the pupil edges out all remaining chocolate brown leaving him with an aroused look that makes your pussy clench.
You feel like you're in a dream when his hand goes to where his towel is tucked at his hip. You don't try to stop him when he tugs it loose and let's it slip to the tilted floor. He stands boldly, not a shred of insecurity in his tall frame. 
His cock is thick and large with a slight curve. The colour matches the rest of him but the tip is a blush of mauve. He's half hard but the longer you stare at it between you it hardens further, coming to graze your belly in its ascent. 
You lick your lips subconsciously recalling the desperation you had for just a taste of his cock. Joel sees this and feels arousal nudging the base of his spine. Again you lift your eyes to his, uncertain of what Joel is thinking. 
Joel can't stop looking at you all soft and sleepy. Your tank is practically see-through and the short panties you wear underneath cut you perfectly to show your ass. He's sure that his need for you is seeping out his pores at this point.  
You're halfway onto the cool floor before you realize what you're doing. When your bare knees make contact with the tile you seem to come back into your body. Joel's cock juts directly in front of your face, his head tilted to look down at you. 
Tess is gone on a hike. She left him with a kiss to his sleepy mouth and a quick love you. That's what he should be thinking of. Not his son's girlfriend on her knees, her plump lips inches from the head of his cock. 
But all of that seems so far away right now. His heartbeat is pounding out of his chest because you look so seductive with your hair falling into your eyes and your mouth glossy from anxiously licking your lips. You wait there on your knees, your hot breath fanning over the head of his cock and Joel feels himself get desperate. Joel's hand comes to lace its fingers through your hair, the thick digits cupping the back of your skull. He tugs gently at the roots and you shudder an exhale in pleasure. You feel his hand cupping your skull gingerly urging your face forward. 
"They won't be back for a bit." He says in a husky murmur without tearing his eyes from yours. 
His hips roll incrementally and his thick cock bobs up and down. It’s so big that you have to drag a shaky hand to it and wrap your fingers around the base. Your fingertips can't even touch when you circle him.
Joel groans when you touch him, a low, rumble that makes your pussy tingle. You drop your hand nervously. Joel stares down at you, the both of you clearly waiting for the other to make the first move. 
You gaze up at him in supplication before you tilt your head back and let your tongue slide out. Joel takes a deep sharp breath at the sight of your mouth open luridly and your tongue begging for his cock. 
Joel grips his cock by the base while transfixed by your mouth. You sit patiently as he shuffles forward and he taps the head of his cock against your wet tongue several times. He enjoys the damp slapping sound. And so do you if your squirming is any indication. 
He begins to guide the head of his cock along your tongue in slow stripes. Back and forth, rocking it closer and closer to your open mouth. 
I'm a bad man. 
You begin to suckle the tip of him, intimidated at his girth. You're rewarded with a deep growl from Joel and his fingers tightening in your hair. The sound makes you excited as well as nervous. What if Tess and Shawn come back early? There are so many opportunities to be caught. That shouldn't make your pussy ache but it does. Joel sees your hesitation and loosens the fist in your hair. He doesn't want you feeling forced to do this but he also thinks he might die if you don't wrap your mouth around his cock soon. 
"It's just the two of us here." His words are slow and low and soothing and his eyes are black and glossy with desire. 
You feel lulled into moving forward once more and now you begin to lick the tip of him without looking away. His thighs shake as he watches and feels you. You're so desperate for him and you begin to take him into your mouth. 
I'm a bad man. This is wrong and immoral and disgusting and Joel had never been so hard in his life. 
"It's okay," Joel soothes like you're a feral animal he's trying to tame. "Just relax." 
His hand sweeps back your hair from your face. He wants to watch every moment of you blowing him. 
"You want it don't you?"  Joel coos, his hip slowly edging forward when you make no move. "I know you want it, honey. You want this so bad," he mutters and he's not sure if it's for him or you. "Just open up a little and I can give it to you.”
You nod up at him with luminous eyes. He wonders if there's still a part of you that feels guilty. Your mouth parts as you begin to take him, your cheeks bulging as his cock begins to fill your mouth.
"Uh huh just like that," Joel tells you warmly. "Just like that yea just like that honey." 
Your palms balance on his naked thighs, warm and damp from the shower. Then all of a sudden you pull yourself off of him, saliva clinging from your lips to the head of his cock.
"Wait Joel maybe we shouldn't."
This is so wrong. Shawn is your boyfriend you love him. What the fuck are you doing in here sucking his father’s cock?  
"Shhh," Joel offers in a sibilant hush. "It's okay honey. You're feeling guilty I know, but I know how much you want this. You do, don’t you? It’s okay you can tell me.”
You squirm on the ground at the way he’s speaking to you. All soft and charming like his wet cock isn’t brushing impatiently against your lips. Everything in you is commanding that you stop this immediately but a sinister voice in the back urges you to continue.
“We’ll just do it once,” he promises in a voice of velvet. “Just once.”
You gaze up the length of Joel’s naked body, taking in the strong shoulders, the lean neck and the plush mouth that smirks down at you right now. He takes his cock by the base and and drags the head along your lower lip, tapping it there like he’s knocking at the front door waiting to be let in.
“You want my cock baby girl?”
You exhale, surrendering.
“Yea, I want it.”
“Show me.”
You hate yourself for exhaling before licking the tip of him and whining when you watch his cock drool pre-cum. But you don’t hate yourself enough to stop taking him into your mouth. You whine around him, the guilt and the desire mixing up inside of you.
“I know,” Joel coos as if he feels your turmoil. "It's okay to want this."
You hum around his cock and he smirks at your cock-drunk expression. He begins to slide his cock deeper into your mouth and smiles contentedly to himself when he sees how your mouth strains around him.
“Wider.”
He groans down at you as you work your mouth over him, obeying his order. You want to pleasure him and show him how good you are. You want him to make those low growls again. He begins to shift, his hand holding your head in place as he thrusts into your mouth. You gag slightly but Joel doesn't notice. His head is thrown back and he moves like a wild animal. 
It's only your mouth and you feel like heaven. He can only imagine how your cunt would feel. He needs to feel it, taste it, smell it. He needs to taste every part of your body. He needs you to call him daddy in a whine as he fucks into your beautiful body. 
I'm a bad man. 
He's close now, his balls tightening. He doesn't know why but he thinks of you spitting into the sink. About how his son's cum wasn't worthy enough for you but Joel's is. His hands move to your cheeks, caressing them as he continues to thrust. 
"You'll swallow mine, won't you, baby girl?" 
Yes, you will. You want to feel him down your throat you want to savor any part of him he'll share with you. 
He grunts in approval when you nod and, his hips start slapping against your face. He’s gonna come and he’s gonna make sure that you don’t waste a bit of him. His hand goes to the top of your head, holding you in place again. You've taken his cock so deep your nose is smashed in the thatch of hair around his cock. 
You're gonna swallow his cum. You want to do it. You wouldn't swallow for his son but you'll swallow for him. Joel feels dizzy with elation and deplorable need as his body tightens. He holds your head as ropes of cum shoot down your throat. It's so much that your cheeks plump and he lets out a strangled moan. 
He holds you and waits, watching as your delicate throat bobs, swallowing him down before you beam up at him. He doesn't have to say anything. You simply hold out your tongue to show him it's clean. He gives a wobbly smile and nods in approval with his blushing chest heaving.
You go to say something when the sound of your cell chirping in the other room drains the blood from your face. What did you just do? You've crossed the line. You sucked the cock of your boyfriend's dad. You swallowed his cum. He tapped his cock on your tongue. He fucked your mouth and you loved every second. Your face goes beet red and prickles in the heat of shame. Joel seems to be feeling the same because he helps you to your feet looking concerned as he re-wraps the towel around his waist breathing in and out quickly. 
"Better answer that. Might be Shawn." 
“Yea." 
Joel twists away and walks to his bedroom. His eyes fall shut and he grimaces as he closes the door behind him with a click of the lock. He hears you chatting on the phone to his son and catches his reflection in the bedroom mirror. His face morphs from that of a disgusted father to that of a depraved man.
I'm a bad man and it feels so good.
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hallowpen · 3 days ago
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Anil remains of the perspective that Pin's "choice" was made with the intention to hurt her instead of protect her. Their status within their own relationship forced very different reactionary measures that Anil fails to understand from her place of privilege. Anil was ready and willing to sacrifice everything in order to be with Pin, while Pin was willing to sacrifice her own happiness to prevent Anil from being disgraced. Anil has been taught by experience that should she want something, she has the power to make it happen. Pin has lived to serve the royal family and to take responsibility for any wrongdoing that may cause them potential harm.
It was lovely to see Lady Uangfah sympathizing with Pin, especially when it's compared to Princess Patt's harsher approach. Uangfah is in the best position to understand wanting something you simply cannot have... and, thus, succumbing to her own marital fate within society.
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สไบ (pronounced 'sa-bai') is a shawl breast cloth that is typically worn for any culturally significant traditions... like a wedding ceremony. Often hand-embroidered, Sbai are made from long pieces of silk that can be draped diagonally around the chest by covering one shoulder and hanging behind the wearer's back. The quality (and color) of its silk and threads were determined by one's status in society. Vibrant and more expensive silks were worn by royalty, with embroideries of gold or silver threads.
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Reputational hearsay is disallowed in royal society, as both involved parties typically tend to suffer as a result. Making an accusation against a person of rank requires evidentiary support, otherwise it could look like the intentional spreading of a false rumor. As Pin, Patt, and Anan all point out, should they publicly reveal the truth about Kuea without any proof, his denial could endanger the reputation of the Savettavarit name... which is what this whole insisted-upon marriage is supposed to protect in the first place.
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The idea of karmic penance is nothing new in this series (or in Thai Buddhist tradition)... and it is something that has been ingrained into Pin from Patt's influence (re: episode 12). Pin, herself, has described her actions as sinful: that she would "force" Anil to step below her revered standing is considered to be 'immoral'. It can be said that Pin sees herself as a stain against Anil's otherwise pure character. In order to repent for her actions, she must make amends... no matter how much suffering she might endure as a result. And while she may not understand it, Anil can only wish that Pin can endure and find some form of happiness in her pursuit of redemption.
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There are several key steps involved in a traditional Thai wedding ceremony...
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ขันหมาก (pronounced 'khan maak') is a procession where the groom and his relatives march to the bride's home. The parade will often feature drummers and traditional folk dancers in a lively celebration that announces the groom's arrival. Relatives are often seen carrying monetary gifts to be used as part of the bride's dowry and offerings that represent important aspects of the marriage... such as health, prosperity, fertility and longevity.
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พิธีกั้นประตู (pronounced 'phi-thi gan pra-tuu') is the symbolic barring of the groom from approaching the bride. The groom must successfully pass through a number of obstacles that are put in the groom’s way by the bride’s family. These symbolic "doors" can only be entered once the groom has proven his worth to the keepers of the "locks". Gold and silver gates are represented by gold or silver belts, which are held by two female members of the bride’s family and friends. The groom's passage through to the next door will only be granted once a "toll" has been negotiated with the keeper of the lock. The entire process is symbolic of the challenges the groom must overcome in order to be worthy of his bride's love and her family's approval. Upon completion, the dowry (สินสอด or 'sin sod') is then formally presented to the bride's family.
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พิธีหลั่งน้ำพระพุทธมนต์ (pronounced 'phi-thi lang naam phra-phuut-ta-mon') is known as the water pouring ceremony. The water pouring is the most important part of a Thai wedding ceremony as it is when a couple can officially be seen as husband and wife.
Before the water pouring can take place, the couple is seated at a traditional water pouring table known as ตั่งรดน้ำ (pronounced 'dtang rot-naam')... with the bride to the left of the groom. They each receive a ceremonial headdress known as มงคล (pronounced 'mong-khol'). The headdress is made from one continuous piece of cotton that forms a circle around each of the bride's and groom's heads... to signify the joining of the two as a couple. Their foreheads are anointed with three dots of white powder to represent the shape of a pyramid, which is symbolic of enlightenment and harmony.
The รดน้ำสังข์ (pronounced 'roht naam sang') is performed by elders pouring blessed water over the couple's hands using a conch shell. The conch shell holds auspicious value through its connection to the Hindu god Vishnu. A trickle of water is poured from the base of the thumb to the fingertips, over first the groom’s and then the bride's, to symbolize the passing of blessings from one generation to the next.
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peterman-spideyparker · 2 days ago
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Babe (Matt Murdock x fem!Reader)
Author’s Note: Hey everyone! Here's the angst I was talking about! I've probably had this written for like . . . 6-8 months, but I finally feel good enough with it to post. This first part can be read as a stand-alone, but I'm gonna post a part two that can be read with it. Enjoy! :)
Summary: Matt is your great love. He is everything to you. But when Matt takes a trip to California for work and a video of Daredevil emerges doing the walk of shame, you feel like dying inside. And it marks the end for you.
Song Inspo: Babe (Taylor's Version) (From the Vault) by Taylor Swift
Warnings: ANGST, Matt and reader are married, Matt cheats on reader, they're both heartbroken at the situation, swearing
Other Characters: None
Word Count: 1,118
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All you can do is replay the short videos you’ve seen in your head, the tabloid headlines—even the gifs that were made. Over and over again, all you can see is Matt, in a red and yellow suit, whistling and walking barefoot down a suburban sidewalk after leaving a house there. Your husband, your Matt. Your Matty. The man you love, the man you vowed your life to.
You turn your head when you hear footsteps shuffle at the other side of the door, keys jingling in the lock before the old door swings open. 
“Hey, (Y/N),” he says with a warm smile as he moves in the entryway. The smile quickly fades when he senses your bags and the salt from your tears. “(Y/N), what’s going on?”
Matt takes a step forward, but you take a step back. 
“Angel—,” he tries again. You know he knows, but he’s always had a strong poker face, even with you.
“I just want to know one thing,” you say, your voice cracking as your bottom lip trembles. “How could you do something like that?”
He looses all color from his face. He knows exactly what you’re talking about. “I . . . I don’t know. It’s a shit response, but—.”
“No. No.” A tear rolls down your cheek. “You can’t justify it. This is the consequence for what you did.”
“I don’t know why I did what I did, but angel, please understand—!”
“I’m not your angel anymore, Matt, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to understand what you did out there. I . . . I keep picturing these things, what you could’ve done, what you did—your lips on her neck. I can’t unsee that.”
“Please—.”
“Don’t make this harder than it has to be. I’ll get a lawyer, I won’t ask for anything, and it’ll be done quick. No need to drag it out.” You pick up your bags and walk past him to the door, Matt looking completely broken. “I’ll get the rest of my things when you’re not here.”
“(Y/N), please, let’s talk this through.”
You take a deep breath. “Did you flirt with her?”
His mouth opens slightly. “Yes.”
“Did you kiss her?”
He lets out a sigh. “Yes.”
“Did you sleep with her?”
He hangs his head. “Yes.”
“Did you keep your wedding ring on during the trip?”
You see tears rolling down his cheeks. “No.”
You wipe a tear of your own away. “Then I don’t see what else there is to talk through. We weren’t important enough to you. I haven’t been in a long time, I think.” You pick up your bag again. “I left my rings by the bed.”
“I can’t lose you,” he breathes. 
“You lost me when you flirted with her.”
“(Y/N), please.” He sounds like broken glass being shuffled around on the ground. 
“I’ll never be able to look at you the same. The man who swore to never hurt me. To love me for the rest of his life.”
“I do love you, (Y/N). I-I . . .” His eyes pinch shut, defeat setting in on his features. “I am so sorry I hurt you. I-I know there’s nothing I can do to change what I did. But let me—.”
“Try to make it up to me? Try to prove you love me? Show that it was a lapse in judgement? Matt, there’s nothing you can do. I can’t look at you the same as I did.”
“You don’t want to even fight for us?” he says, anger now creeping into his voice. “You’re just ready to throw in the towel?”
“Don’t you dare—.”
“You bet I fucking dare. I promised you through thick and thin, and right now, we’re in the thick of it. I’m not letting you leave this loft until we at least talk!”
“We did!”
“No, we didn’t. You asked me questions, but your mind was made up before I even got back in the city.”
“Matt, it’s like you’re missing the point! I love you—!”
“And I love you!”
“Matt, I have never felt wanted or treasured or loved in a relationship before, and then I met you and I felt all of that and more. You are my whole world, and you just tossed me aside for a fling because . . . because . . . because I don’t know why! And it just feels like all of that, all of what we shared, was just an act.”
“It wasn’t. I swear, it wasn’t.”
“Then why did you hurt me like that?”
Matt’s bottom lip trembled as he takes in a deep breath. 
“Jen . . .” Hearing her name is like a gut punch that tears your heart in two. “She gets it. Having powers, being able to help people . . . It was nice to connect with someone like that.”
You bite the inside of the bottom of your lip, the corners of your lips pulling into a deep pout.
“And she gets what it’s like being an attorney,” you add, your voice wet with tears.
He lets out a dejected breath. “She does.”
He wants someone that’s like him, that gets it. How could I have been so stupid? 
Your lip begins to tremble viciously, and Matt rushes to take your hands. 
“I love that you don’t have the same job as me,” he starts. “I love that we have different interest. I love how we complement one another.”
“Matt—.”
“I love how you’ve always been my rock since we met. Since before we started dating.”
“Matt, please—.”
“I love your head, and I love your heart. I love you for everything you are and how you fill the holes in my soul.”
You’re both crying now, but you can’t look at him. If you look at him, you’re afraid you’ll stay.
“I never questioned if I was good enough for you,” you croak. “Ever since I saw . . . Ever since I saw those videos of you leaving in your suit, barefoot outside of her place, that’s all I’ve been able to do. How I failed as a partner, as a friend.”
“You didn’t—.”
“I know. This isn’t on me.” You take a step back, pulling your hands from his. “You were my great love, Matt. I’ll always appreciate that. But all my trust is gone, now. Please understand that.”
He nods, his bottom lip between his teeth. “You can leave,” he says feebly, his voice wet with tears. “I deserve it. You deserve better. But I need you to know I’m always going to love you.”
“And I’m never going to stop loving you.”
Your chest hurts. Your lungs burn and your heart shatters as you grab your bag and walk out of your home. 
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Permanent Taglist: @majesticavenger @steampowerednightvaler @themusingsofmany @just-the-hiddles @toozmanykids @dangertoozmanykids101 @clints-worldavengers @theburningbookshop @itwasthereaminuteago @peter1ismybrother @hellskitchens-whore​​ @dpaccione @catnip987​ @blackhawkfanatic
Matt Murdock Taglist: @two-unbeatable-beaters  @loves0phelia
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 2 days ago
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Partners in Crime 6
Warnings: non/dubcon, allusions to abuse including body-shaming, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Characters: Lloyd Hansen, Lee Bodecker
Summary: you’re left reeling after your divorce but the chaos has only begun. (short!reader)
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.
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“Wakey, wakey,” the voice draws you up from the sludge. You pry your eyelids apart and groan. 
You’re still nestled against Lee but you can see something past him, a fleshy blur. The man at your side squeezes you and rolls onto his back. He sighs and rubs his eyes. 
“You gonna sleep all day or we gonna get down to it?” Lloyd asks. 
You squeak as you spy his bare chest and stomach, blocking out the rest as you cover your face with your hand. Lee snarls and untangles from you as he sits up. “Goddamn, Hansen, put some fucking clothes on.” 
“Don’t be jealous,” Lloyd snickers. “You like the way it hangs?” 
“Piss off,” the slap of flesh makes you flinch and Lloyd yelps. 
“Damn it, that was too close,” he exclaims. 
“Next time I won’t miss,” Lee’s weight leaves the bed. “Cover up.” 
A huff and a rustle follow and you dare to peek out between your fingers. Lee comes back to you, in a tank and boxers, holding a fluffy pink robe open. “Come on, darling. We gotta get the day started.” 
Lloyd’s behind him in a black silk robe, smoothing his mustache with his fingers. He looks agitated with the bristly hairs. You sit up, quaking, unsure what else to do but what you’re told. You got too used to waking up alone and peaceful. Yet, you can’t say what’s worse, them or your ex. 
“We’ll get ya washed up and dressed, then we’ll sit down and eat,” Lee slings his arm across your shoulders. He seems even bigger than the day before. They both do. “How’s that sound?” 
“Good,” you eke out. What you know is that obedience is safe. Any sign of resistance only got you worse. 
He keeps you wrapped up and Lloyd grumbles as he leads you past, “we really gonna drag this out?” 
“We have a plan,” Lee insists. “You agreed. We wanna take care of her. Give her what she never had. Stop being a jerk.” 
“I’m not. I'm just saying. Rip the bandaid off,” Lloyd turns and follows. 
You look over your shoulder as he crosses his arms, his blue eyes sharp as he squints back at you. Of the two, he makes you more nervous. You know better than to trust in self-control, but Lee it a bit less scary. 
You turn your head straight and take in the hallway. The house is nice. The walls are half-panel, half floral. An old-fashioned sort of domesticity. The white trim is clean and elegant and the runner rug is delicate patterned in a complementary pattern. 
Lee turns you through a door with a crystal knob. You fold your hands together as he ushers you into the bathroom. The porcelain shine and the counter is the same ivory as the trim in the hallway.
There’s an oval mirror over the sink basin, a shelf of neatly folded towels in various sizes mounted on the wall. The bath mat is a blue rose, the walls a lighter shade of the same, and a clawfoot tub stands near the far wall.  
You take it all in. In any other circumstance, you would be in awe. You can only curl into yourself as you try to disappear. This can’t be real. These men can’t be either. 
“You go on, get yourself in,” Lee detaches and steps forward to twist on the faucet. He bends with a grunt to put the stopper in place. “Got everything you need. Soaps, salts, bombs.” 
Your eyes scan the shelf along the tub and all the colourful bottles, jars, and trays. You slowly come forward and peer down into the lapping water. Lee backs up as you sense Lloyd lingering behind. 
“Want me keep an eye on her?” Lloyd slithers. “Don’t want her to fall in.” 
“Go get her something to wear,” Lee commands. 
“No, you,” the other argues. 
“Don’t be ornery,” Lee rebukes. 
“No. You.” Lloyd repeats more tersely than before. 
There’s a sigh, “we’ll both go.” Lee insists. 
You stay as you are. You wait until the door shuts before you move. You look down at the silk night gown and the cool air sets prickles across your skin. There’s a click behind you. They’ve locked you in. As nice as they are trying to be, they don’t trust. You’re still their prisoner. 
You brace your head as you quiver. How could this happen to you? Why? How did they know who you are? How to find you? You don’t quite believe everything they’ve told you. They seem to know more about you than they should. 
Maybe it’s your ex-husband. He can’t torture you so he sent these two to do so. How cruel can he be? 
When the door opens again, you flinch. You rub your arms and shiver.
“Now, don’t let the thing overflow,” Lee chides. “Get in, honey.” 
Lloyd hums in agreement. You glance back at them. You want them to leave but you don’t think they will. You face the tub again and shudder. 
You close your eyes. You're back in the bedroom you once shared with your husband. Alone. You’re in a towel, sifting through your closet, looking for something to wear to his work thing. You unwrap the cotton from around you and hear a scoff. 
“Sixteen,” your husband’s voice crawls across the room as he appears in the doorway. “Sixteen dimples in your ass. Last time I counted, was only twelve.” 
Your eyes snap open as the balmy air roils over the tub. Your nose tingle hotly. The two strange men are going to see all your dimples and marks and scars. You know they did last night but you were too terrified to think about it. And this is different. It’s so bright in here. 
You scrunch the satin in your fists and lift it slowly. You sniffle as you unveil yourself to the room. To them. You tense and swoop the fabric over your head and drop it. You shake as you step forward and angle your leg over the edge of the tub. 
You try to ignore your audience and the gristly noises wafting from them. Are they disgusted by you? Disappointed? You turn and lower yourself into the hot water. Their silhouettes loom beside you. 
“Ain’t that nice?” Lee asks. “You just relax.” 
“Hard to relax fully-cocked,” Lloyd snickers. 
“Shut up,” Lee snaps and slaps his arm. “Get outta here.” 
“Stop telling me what to do.” 
“We’re both gonna leave her be,” Lee insists. You stare at the tiled wall, humiliated. The way they talk about you like you’re not there, like you’re a thing. “Let her get situated then we can get her settled in.” 
“You’re a fucking softie, Bodecker,” Lloyd sneers. 
“And you’re a pain in my ass,” he shoves the man back, “stop cussin' and come on.” 
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whocaresstillthelouvre · 12 hours ago
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The Return
Batter Up Chapter 7
Pairing: Baseball player Joel Miller x Female Reader Rating: Explicit. 18+ (Minors DNI) Summary: After a month of being away from the game and the girl he loves, Joel Miller is back and ready to play. Warnings: smut, making a sex tape, oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v (reader has an IUD), cream pie, also regular pie, joel miller's dirty mouth, wine. Words: 5,000
A/N: Thank you to my dearest @devineconjuring and her beautiful brain for beta'ing and being my grammar goddess.
Masterlist Playlist
⚾️⚾️⚾️
The crowd chants Joel’s name, lights flicker through the stadium, the ground feels like it’s shaking beneath his feet. He loves this feeling—the rush of adrenaline coursing through him, the loud crowd drowning out every doubt he’s ever felt. After three weeks on the injured list and another week rehabbing in the minors–a month away from the big leagues–Joel Miller is back.
He walks to the plate, digging his heels into the dirt and tapping his bat against the plate as he soaks in the moment. 
“Miller, good to see you back,” the catcher says.
Joel nods, and grunts an acknowledgment back.
His eyes settle on the pitcher, some young phenom throwing 99-mph with almost every pitch. Don’t worry kid, you’ll get old like me.
The first pitch whooshes past him—ball one. 
Ball two.
Strike one.
The pitcher’s keeping it a little outside, Joel inches closer to the plate, squaring up. The pitcher winds up again, Joel takes a deep breath, feeling the vibration of the bat as it connects with the ball. The crack of the bat reverberates through the stadium as the ball soars past the infield, over the outfield, and disappears beyond the right-field fence.
Home run.
The crowd erupts, the celebratory bell tolls as he rounds the bases. His eyes scan the club box above third base, finding you amidst the cheering fans, your arms raised high, that smile of yours lighting up his heart.
Joel Miller is back, doing what he loves, and now in front of the woman he loves.
__
You’re so proud of him. You wipe the tears from your eyes as Joel’s feet touch home base. His recovery wasn’t easy. Every week away from the game for someone as old as him means double the work versus a young kid just in the game. Forty year olds aren’t known for being pro athletes. 
With the long Labor Day weekend, you were able to take time off from work and travel by train to Philadelphia to witness Joel's celebrated comeback, which had turned into a legend after his grand slam. Suddenly, all of your worries are lifted away. The stress of telling your families that you're a couple, your demanding job as a column writer at Sporting Digest that revolves around the ebb and flow of games, trades, and record breaking moments–none of it matters now.
Your responsibilities at work have been stacking up over the past few weeks. Churning out articles on everything from college football predictions to analyses of NBA draft picks. When you were hired you agreed to not cover baseball, what with the conflict of interest and all. Now, you dream of the headlines you could write about your boyfriend’s triumphant return. 
You’ve barely been able to leave your laptop. Last week, you spent three days shadowing a tennis star at the US Open, scribbling notes on her training and the pressure of being labeled the “next big thing.” You’ve barely had time to breathe, let alone do laundry, go grocery shopping, and, most importantly, be there for Joel. You put in countless hours of work to make this long weekend possible, just so you could witness his big comeback firsthand. 
“Heck of a player that Miller is,” you hear the TV in the corner say. “He sure knows how to show everyone he’s still got it, doesn’t he?” 
You clutch his number dangling from your neck, you’re so proud of him, always proving everybody wrong. Well worth every sacrifice. 
__
The Liberties win, 4-0, all thanks to Joel’s grand slam in the first inning. Sports radio is going to have a field day with this. 
You make your way down to the stadium’s corridors, where staff rush around with more important tasks than yours. 
The Liberties clubhouse sits just ahead of you, the two large blue doors stay closed to onlookers. You rest your back against the cold cinder block wall and send Joel a text, telling him to take his time.
A year ago, you never could’ve imagined this. Joel Miller—rugged, no-nonsense baseball star, the man who occupied your teenage dreams—now your boyfriend. The man who keeps your favorite pasta sauce in his pantry. The man who goes mattress shopping with you. It feels surreal, yet so real at the same time.
Every time that damn blue door opens your heart skips a beat, hoping you’ll find Joel walking out. False alarm after false alarm. 
Until…
Joel emerges, hair slicked back, wearing a gray Liberties shirt, khaki pants, and those cheesy white New Balance sneakers you tease him relentlessly about. Joel, you’re way too rich to be wearing these damn ragged shoes. 
“Hi baby,” he smiles as he wraps his arms around you, pushing you further against the wall. 
“Hi,” you breathlessly respond, smelling the body wash on his skin. Damn, he showered. “Good game.”
“It was, wasn’t it?”
You can’t help but smile at how happy he is, back where he belongs, doing what he loves.
“Come on,” he says, pulling you close. “Let’s go celebrate.” His arm stays around your waist as he leads you through the corridors to his car.
It’s so freeing now, being able to cheer for—and love—Joel out in the open, for all eyes to see.
__
“You know you made me cry today, right?” you say, reaching for his hand resting on your thigh.
“I did, huh?” he replies with a smirk on his face.
He always looks so confident as he drives. Philly’s narrow streets, filled with potholes and pedestrians, are nothing like Austin’s, but he navigates them as effortlessly as he does everything else—injuries, tough teammates, media storms. He handles it all like he handles a fastball: with ease.
“Yeah, I’m really proud of you,” you tell him softly, grabbing his hand harder. “I know I’ve said it a hundred times, but I’m just so happy to be here for you.”
He smiles that quiet Joel smile. “That’s how I feel watching you handle everything too.”
"So, where are we headed?" you ask, noticing you're not on the route to his apartment. “I hope I’m dressed okay,” you say, looking down at your simple red gingham dress. 
"It’s a surprise. You’ll be fine, you look beautiful baby," he says.
The car winds through the city. You glance over, watching the city lights flicker across his face as the car turns off the main road, slipping into a quieter neighborhood.
The car pulls up to a small, unassuming brick building tucked away on a quiet side street. No flashy sign, no valet—just a discreet, vintage lantern hangs above the door. It’s definitely a place Joel prefers. 
He turns off the car and turns to you, his hand still resting on your thigh. “Thought we’d keep it low-key,” his deep voice rumbles in the quiet of the car.
You nod, your smile widening. “Perfect.”
He steps out of the car and, ever the gentleman, comes around to open your door before guiding you toward the entrance. You wrap your arm around his, leaning into his warmth as he leads you inside.
“Mr. Miller, welcome to Vetri Cucina. We’re happy to have you here. Let me show you to your table.”
“Silvio," Joel says with a firm handshake. "Good to see you. Thanks."
Your eyes scan the cozy space. Shiny worn floorboards, warm amber walls, a glistening chandelier that hangs from the low ceiling–you’ve never seen a place like this before. Little did you know that behind the unassuming brick row home exterior there would be a whole functional restaurant. It feels like the perfect mix of a place for the two of you, rustic and intimate.
Silvio leads you both up a narrow staircase to a private room on the second floor. A table for two sits in the center of the room. A red glass chandelier hangs above it, candlelights flickering shadows across the golden walls.. 
“So, we’re still hiding our dinners with each other away from prying eyes?” you tease as Joel pulls the chair out for you and you take a seat.  
“Not exactly,” he says, taking your hand in his. “I just wanted to show off that I can get us a private table at one of the best restaurants in Philly.”
You laugh. “I’m sure there’s a Golden Corral around here.”
Joel chuckles. “Very funny. But trust me—you’ll love it here. They’ve got all the fancy dishes with those French words you like.”
“You know me too well.”
“Better than you think,” he says, his eyes gleaming under the golden light.
A waiter approaches, a polished smile on his face. “Good evening, and welcome. My name is Royal, and I’ll be taking care of you tonight. We have a special tasting menu prepared just for you, personally selected by our chef. It’ll start with an appetizer, followed by a pasta course, a main, and dessert.” 
Your mouth waters as Royal pours you a glass of wine. 
”Each course will be paired with a wine from our grand collection. Your first course will be out shortly. In the meantime, is there anything else I can bring you?”
Joel shakes his head. “We’re all set, thanks.”
“Wow,” you say once the waiter leaves, glancing around the elegantly set table. “I feel a little underdressed for a tasting menu.”
Joel shrugs. “I have a feeling they won’t care what we’re wearing once I pay the bill. Besides,” he says with a smile, “I like you in that red dress.”
“Atta boy, Texas,” you say, smiling as you sip your wine.
After a couple courses of delicious appetizers that you happily eat, but Joel barely touches, the water returns, presenting the main course with a flourish. 
"For your entrée, we have our signature dish: salt-crusted tilapia with a bread salad of parsley and tomatoes, alongside grilled artichokes on a bed of smoked squash puree."
You glance at Joel as the waiter expertly cracks the salt crust, revealing the perfectly cooked fish underneath. You know Joel hates fish and artichokes. The waiter sets down two glasses of white wine and disappears, leaving you both alone with the dish.
"Baby, what are you going to do?" you ask, eyes wide as Joel picks up his fork.
“Don’t worry about me. I’m here to impress you,” he says with determination before spearing a piece of the fish. He takes a bite, his nose crinkling ever so slightly as he chews.
“How is it?” you ask, biting back a smile.
Joel grimaces. “I’ve had better.”
You chuckle softly, shaking your head. “Please don’t eat it. I know the only fish you like is fried.”
“Always been more of a Filet O Fish man myself.”
“I don’t think they’ve got tartar sauce here, so please, for me, don’t force yourself.”
He sets down his fork with a relieved sigh, his hand finding yours again. “Anything for you.”
When the waiter returns, he doesn’t comment on Joel’s barely touched plate, but you notice a subtle, appreciative smile as he clears away your empty dish.
“Well,” you say, leaning back, happy and full from dinner. “At least there’s dessert.”
“Never said no to dessert,” he chuckles, before looking you in the eyes with adoration. 
"You know," he begins, his voice low and serious, "I couldn't have done this without you. Coming back after my injury—”
Joel's voice trails off as he searches for the right words. His eyes stare into yours. You squeeze his hand encouragingly, needing to hear more. 
“It wasn’t just physical,” he continues. “It was mental. Wondering if I still had it within me, if I was too old, if it was time for me to hang up my cleats. But you—you never doubted me for a second.”
Tears pool in your eyes as his thumb brushes back and forth against your knuckles. 
"I’ve always been your fan, Joel. I’ll always believe in you.”
He nods, a small smile lighting his face. “I know, and that’s what got me through. I love you.”
“I love you too,” you smile through tears. 
The waiter approaches with dessert, you silently thank the interruption so you’re not left sobbing in the middle of this beautiful restaurant over how much you love your boyfriend. 
A familiar slice of pie is placed in front of you and Joel.
“Uppercrust?” you excitedly ask, your eyes widening at the large, glazed pecans laying atop the golden crust. 
Joel gives a shy, satisfied nod, his lips curving into that familiar, gentle smile. "Thought we’d end the night with our favorite. Had Sarah overnight it to the restaurant."
“Jooooel,” you breathe out, overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness. You stare at the pie, stunned by how deeply he cares for you.
“All for you baby,” he says softly as he lifts his fork and cheers with a playful smile. “Cheers to Austin and that hotel bar.”
You laugh, grabbing your own fork and tapping it against his. “Cheers,” you whisper, trying to steady your voice. 
“Oh my god,” you moan around the fork at the first taste of sweet pie. “I can’t believe you got this. You’re too good to me.”
He barks a laugh. “Baby, this is nothing, I owe you so much.” 
The pie is sweet, but your boyfriend is sweeter. 
The sweet wine served with the pie warms your body, Joel’s smile from across the table warms you even more. You sneakily slip your foot out of its sandal, and run it up his leg, making your way up to his crotch. He jumps in surprise, his eyes leer at you as he takes a sip of wine. Your foot finds its target, against the soft fabric of his pants, thankful for the white tablecloth that hangs from the table. He places a hand on your foot, pushing it closer to his crotch. You giggle as your toes wiggle back and forth, teasing him. 
“So, what’s next?” you ask, with a mischievous grin.
"Well, after we finish dinner, I'll pay the bill, grab some leftover pie for later...and then take you home and fuck you," he responds confidently.
A small hmph escapes your lips at the promise. “Is that so?”
“Oh, it absolutely is,” he replies, a sly grin spreading across his face. He leans in close, his voice lowering to a secretive whisper. “Just think about it—my place, those fancy sheets of mine you love so much…”
His hand wraps around your foot, pressing it harder against him. 
“Now you’re just making me impatient,” you tease. 
—-
The plates are cleared, the leftover pie is boxed up, Joel settles the bill and rises from his seat, extending his hand to help you up. 
Your fingers lace together as you step out into the warm summer night. Joel leads you to his car, unlocking it and opening the door for you. You lean over and seal your mouth over his, relishing in being able to kiss him out in the open. You pull away and give him a smirk before getting in and sliding across the passenger seat, your heart racing with anticipation for the next stop—Joel’s apartment. 
Your time together has been precious and few. Your career keeps you north in New York, Joel’s training and rehabilitation game have kept him busy and all over the states. But now, you finally have three nights together—the most time you've had since his injury a month ago. 
He glances over at you and winks before he adjusts the rearview mirror. You miss his truck back in Austin, the front bench seat allowing you to slide over and cuddle him close. You curse the existence of the center console. 
“Buckle up, baby,” he says with a grin. Your heart races at the double entendre. 
—-
Taking the elevator up to Joel's penthouse brings back memories of that first night together, when you couldn't believe how handsome he looked in that golden elevator at the hotel, not believing you were about to sleep with Joel Miller. Now, his body presses against yours as you lean on him, his head nestled in the crook of your neck as he leaves sweet kisses down your skin to the matching pendant of his number you wear, leaving a kiss against it before his eyes meet yours. 
“I can’t tell you how much I love seeing this on you, baby,” he says before licking his way up to your mouth, sealing his over yours. He grabs your ass, lifting you into his hold, your legs instinctively wrap around his waist, your arms wrap around his wide shoulders. 
The elevator doors open and he carries you into his penthouse, crowding you against the entryway wall. His mouth moves against yours with fervor, deepening the kiss as your fingers tangle in his hair. You gasp against his mouth, the cool wall chilling your overheated skin. 
“God, you’re so beautiful,” he murmurs between kisses, his breath warm and sweet against your lips. “I’ve missed this—missed you.”
He turns and carries you to the living room. The ambient city lights shining in from the floor-to-ceiling windows light Joel’s way. He gently sets you down on the couch and slides his hand to the back of your neck, pulling you closer for another kiss.
“Let me show you how much I’ve missed you, baby,” he whispers against your lips, pausing to look into your eyes.
You nod, breathless and eyes wide. “Please,” you whisper. 
He grins, standing back slightly, taking in the sight of you sprawled on his couch, dress askew. “You look so damn good.” 
His hands rest on the hem of your dress and, with a cocky grin, he slowly lifts it up, exposing the soft skin of your thighs. 
“God, this is all I’ve been thinking about. Drove to the ballpark thinking about you, stepped up to the plate thinking about you, and, baby,when I saw you in the stands… all I could think about was you naked in my arms.” 
“Joel…” you struggle to find the words, already lust-drunk on his words. 
“I need to taste you.” 
He drops down to his knees in front of you, his large fingers slipping beneath the waistband of your underwear and sliding them off.
You bite your lip as he grips your thighs and spreads them apart.
He breathes out a deep sigh at the sight of you. A low whistle leaves his lips. “There she is, she’s so fuckin’ pretty.”
He leans closer and places soft kisses along your inner thighs, teasingly slow, making your heart race even faster.
“Joel…” you plead.
He spreads you wider, warm breath teasing against your core. He licks a long, slow line from bottom to top, humming appreciatively at the first taste of you. 
Your back arches, a gasp escaping your lips. "Oh my God," you breathe.
His rough palms grip your thighs, thick fingers digging into the flesh as he holds you steady. His hot breath tickles your skin as he licks you. "God, you taste so good," he murmurs against you, his voice vibrating against your cunt. “Missed this taste.” 
His tongue explores you as your fingers tangle in his hair, gripping the soft waves of his dark strands.
Two thick fingers slide inside you, stretching you perfectly. Plush lips close around your clit, sucking and lapping at your sensitive nub.
It's been almost a month since he last touched you like this, and now with his skilled mouth and fingers all over you, your body is ready to let go.
“Joel,” you moan. “C-close.”
He enthusiastically hums against you, deep brown eyes staring into yours from under furrowed brows. His fingers pumping in and out of you as his tongue flicks rapidly over your clit. Your pussy pulses against his thick fingers, squeezing them as you bloom under the pleasure of finally feeling his touch. Goosebumps rise all over your skin, cheeks heating, legs trembling, and your eyes tightly shut… and when he curls his fingers upwards inside you, your orgasm crashes into you, your pussy soaking his hand and your voice screaming his name. He doesn't stop, continuing to lick and tease you through your orgasm until it's all too much and you're pulling at his hair.
He pulls back with a satisfied smile and kisses your inner thigh before standing and placing a kiss on your lips. You taste yourself as he licks into your mouth. His plush lips sucking against yours. 
Before you can catch your breath, Joel scoops you up in his strong arms, throwing you over his shoulder and carrying you into his bedroom. You giggle as he smacks your ass and growls. 
He sets you on the edge of his bed, the crisp white sheets cool against your overheated skin. He steps back, his eyes roaming over your body. 
“Stay right there,” he says as he moves to the closet, rummaging around for a moment before returning with a black camera and tripod in hand. 
Your breath catches at the sight as he sets them up, carefully adjusting the angle. 
The tiny red recording light blinks on and the little screen lights up. There you are, all disheveled—dress hiked up, your lips full and swollen from Joel’s mouth. 
His eyes meet yours. “Is this okay?” he asks softly.
You nod, excitement running through your body. “Yes,” you breathe. 
He grins as he removes his shirt, tossing it to the side before he steps out of his pants. He stays behind the camera, standing in the shadows like a director. “Go ahead baby, take it all off.”
You stand slowly, your heart racing at Joel and the camera’s attention. Dark brown eyes watch you intently from behind the camera, his eyes never leaving your every movement. You reach back and unzip your dress, pulling it down, as you slowly slip the straps off, letting the dress fall to the floor, the red gingham fabric pooling at your feet. 
"God, you're gorgeous,” he whispers.
You reach behind to unclasp your bra, staring at Joel as you let it fall away. Your breasts are exposed to his eyes and the camera, your nipples hardening in the cool air. You’re completely bare now except for the necklace with his number. 
"Touch yourself for me, baby," he instructs softly.
You smile, running your hands slowly up your sides, cupping your breasts. Your fingers glide over your nipples, teasing them to stiff peaks before you back up against the bed and lay across it, spreading your legs wide for the camera and Joel. Your hand snakes down your body, across your stomach, down to the apex of your thighs. 
You lock eyes with Joel as you slowly circle your clit, your breath hitching. His gaze is dark from behind the camera, his chest rising and falling rapidly. You can see the outline of his cock straining against his boxer briefs as he watches you pleasure yourself. Your fingers dip lower, sliding into your wet heat.
"That's it, baby," he groans. "Show me how you like to be touched."
Your other hand kneads your breast, pinching and rolling your nipple.
Joel steps out from behind the camera, moving to the edge of the bed. He strips off his boxers, his thick cock springing free. He strokes himself slowly as he watches you.
"You're so fucking sexy," he growls.
You whimper at his words, your fingers moving faster. "Please, baby,” you whine, “I need you."
He grabs your foot and turns you on the cool, slick sheets. Glancing over at the camera’s small display screen to check the angle of your body.  
He climbs on the bed and you instantly welcome the warmth of his presence and his broad body. He positions himself between your legs, gripping his cock and running the head through your folds, coating himself in your wetness. Your breath catches as he slowly pushes inside, a smile lighting your face at finally feeling him inside you.
"Fuck," he groans, his eyes fluttering closed as he bottoms out. "You feel so good, baby. So tight and wet for me."
You moan as he starts to move, his hips rolling against yours in a steady rhythm. Your hands glide over the expanse of his shoulders and down his muscular back, relishing in feeling the flex of his strong muscles with each thrust.
He leans down, capturing your lips. His tongue tangles with yours as he picks up the pace, fucking you harder. 
"Look at the camera, baby," Joel murmurs against your neck. "Let's show it how good I make you feel."
You tilt your head, looking directly at the camera lens with heavy-lidded eyes. The knowledge that you are being recorded, that Joel will watch this later, that the two of you will get off while watching yourselves… it’s a new thrill for you. You moan louder, arching your back higher as Joel fucks you. 
"Touch yourself for me," he commands.
Your hand snakes between your bodies, fingers finding your clit. 
"Oh god, baby," you moan, your fingers working furiously at your clit as he pounds into you. "I'm so close."
Joel's rhythm falters slightly as he watches you touch yourself, sweat glistening on his brow. "That's it. Cum for me. Let me feel you."
Your voice echoes through the room as you cry out Joel’s name, your body trembling as your walls clench tightly around him. 
“Fuck,” he grunts, his hips snapping against yours. “So fucking good, you cum so fucking good for me. So fucking tight.”
He pulls your body towards him, sitting up on the bed, his cock still buried deep inside of you. You take control and ride him, your legs wrapping around his waist as you grind down on him. His hands grip your hips firmly, guiding you.
“That’s it baby. Take what you need from me,” he growls.
Your hands tangle in the short waves of his hair, pulling him in for a kiss. Your tongues exploring each other’s mouths, bodies glistening with sweat.
He breaks the kiss, his forehead resting against yours, his nose bumping against yours. “I love you. God damn baby, I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” you moan as he thrusts up into you.  
He captures your lips again. “I’m close,” he groans against your mouth. “Cum with me baby. Give me one more.”
His hand snakes down between your bodies, his thumb finds your clit, rubbing firm circles against it as you bounce on his cock. 
You cry out his name as you orgasm, Joel’s fingers and cock working in tandem to push you over the ledge. You turn your head to the camera, staring into it as you chant Joel’s name while your walls clench around his cock. 
“Oh fuck baby,” Joel groans, his hips stuttering. “I’m gonna cum for you.”
In one swift motion, he flips you onto your back, your legs instinctively wrap around his waist as he buries his face into the crook of your neck, his hot breath fanning across your skin as he chases his own release. Your hands run down his back, feeling the flex of his muscles with each thrust.
"Cum for me, Joel, I want to feel you cum inside me."
With a final and deep thrust, Joel stills above you. He groans your name as he empties himself inside you, his cock pulsing with each spurt. He fills you with his release, still gently fucking you with soft thrusts, pushing his seed deeper inside you. 
He leans over and grabs the camera, his cock still plunged deep inside you. With a sly smile, he films your face, capturing the bliss across it.
“Look at you,” he admires, “smiling all sweetly, all drunk on my cock and cum, aren’t you baby?”
You moan a response and nod eagerly. 
He chuckles as he pulls out, shuffling his body down to settle in between your legs. Joel positions the camera between your thighs, spreading them apart and running a finger through your cunt, swollen and slick with his spend pulsating out of you.
“Look at you, leakin’ everywhere,” he groans, collecting himself across his fingers and sticking it inside you. “Can’t have that, now can we?” 
His eyes stay focused on the little screen, watching his fingers pump in and out of your overworked cunt. 
“Fuckin’ filthy baby,” he angles his fingers, your slick squelches loudly across the room. 
Writhing and whining under his touch, your skin is overheated, your pussy radiating heat across your body. 
He pulls his soaked finger out, wiping it across your folds. “Show me how you drip baby, let me see.” 
A gush of his cum leaks out of you, the warm liquid runs down your ass, pooling on the bed. 
“Fucccccccccck,” he growls. “Can’t stop looking at this.” 
He zooms out, capturing your whole body in the frame. 
“Tell me whose pussy this is,” he instructs.
“Yours,” you breathlessly respond.
“That’s it baby,” he growls, before his eyes lift from the camera and into yours. “I love you,” he softly says, his eyes rounding in reverence. 
“I love you too.”
He grins, standing up from the bed and switching off the camera before placing it down on the bedside table.
“That was incredible,” you sigh. “I can’t believe we just did that.” 
A smile spreads across his face as he leans down to give you a tender kiss on the lips. "We'll have to watch it later," he says before heading to the bathroom. He returns with a damp towel and gently wipes between your legs, before planting a kiss on your forehead and turning to leave the room.
“Where are you going?” you slur, too blissed out of your mind. 
“To get pie. I’m starving.”
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hellsitedotcom · 1 day ago
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*·˚ FIRST KISS HEADCANONS : SUNDAY *·˚
Yeah, Sunday escalated a little, which is why he was moved to this post, lol. That's...kinda throwing off my initial plan for these posts. Anyways, bone app the teeth??
*·˚ warnings/info: well, there's obviously going to be mentions of kissing; reader implied to be shorter than Sunday. *·˚ english isn't my native language!
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⭒˚。⋆ Sunday ⭒˚。⋆
⇢ Sunday the kinda guy to have his first kiss after an old-fashioned date or something. I mean, my characterizations of everyone keep changing more extremely than the weather in Germany, but yeah, bare with me for the current one. ⇢ Spending time with Sunday (and sometimes Robin) was almost like an everyday occurrence to you. You were...friends? Well, you certainly were close. It wasn't unusual for you to be alone with him, have long conversations about nothing and everything, go out to get dinner with him. ⇢ And you didn't expect today to look any different when he invited you over to spend time with him at his place, thinking he just needed some company in Robin's absence. After all, you were close, and that's what people who got along with each other did - spend time together. ⇢ But, as you spent time with him, laughing over anything you found funny enough, you felt the energy between you was...different than usual. Sometimes you caught Sunday looking at you a little longer than usual, physical touch lingering, and eventually, you found yourself standing beside him on a balcony, overlooking the Morning Dew Dreamscape, your meeting slowly coming to an end.
''I don't think I'll ever get over this view,'' you sighed, leaning against the railing as you watched Morning Dew's sunrise. You had been to a handful of different Dreamscapes, but nothing could ever compare to those that shared the beauty of the morning sun with you. Beside you, Sunday chuckled softly, his shoulder almost brushing yours as he joined you, ''Well, maybe there's a beautiful sunrise somewhere out there just waiting for you to finally witness it.'' ''I have to find a way off this place first, no?'' you quipped, glancing over at him, ''And I guess I can't really do that until Robin returns. Can't just leave you alone, can I?'' When your eyes met his, you found that Sunday had already been looking at you, a gentle expression on his face. ''Well, I'm glad you're still around,'' he muttered quietly, his smile making you flustered, ''I don't think there's anyone whose company I enjoy more.'' ''Yeah? Huh, I don't think Robin would want to hear that,'' you joked, your voice softer than before, almost hesitant. The atmosphere around you was changing, the innocence of the early morning hours suddenly filled with another emotion, one you couldn't name just yet. Sunday just laughed at your response, turning to face the sun, ''I doubt she'd be surprised.'' ''I'm sure she realized it long before I did,'' he continued, catching you slightly off-guard. With a perplexed expression, you just stared at him, repeating his words in your head. You knew that Sunday considered you someone he shared a close relationship with - otherwise, you wouldn't be here right now - but it still made your heart skip a beat to hear him voice it all so openly. In the pale morning light, you found yourself entranced by him, watching the way the soft rays danced across his face, making his golden eyes shine even brighter than you had ever seen. His words kept repeating in your head, quietly, like a choir as your mind went through all the possible meanings behind the simple sentence. ''I hope she doesn't mind that I'm her brother's favorite,'' you finally spoke again, sounding far more off than you had expected, making Sunday turn to meet your gaze. He was smiling, a mixture of amusement and endearment on his face, ''She knew that it was bound to happen.'' ''Besides,'' he added, turning around to fully face you, ''I care about the two of you in very different ways. Robin is my sister, my family. And I love her the way you love your own blood.'' A heartbeat of silence. The world around you seemed to slow down, the ambiance noise as if muted while Sunday continued his speech, ''While my feelings for you and my sister aren't...that unalike, there is an important distinction. I feel familial love for Robin, while I feel something much deeper for you.'' The beating inside your chest made you think your heart was about to break out of your rib cage, and you didn't even realize that you had stopped breathing, unable to break eye contact as you stared at the man, straightening up while trying to process his words. Neither of you was saying anything right now. You were both just looking at each other, the atmosphere completely changed. Sunday seemed as if he was expecting an answer, but your mind was racing in overdrive, unable to form coherent thoughts. And, while Sunday was starting to grow slightly nervous given your...lack of response to his ''confession'', something inside you just- switched. The words came out of your mouth before you could stop them, catching not just you, but also the man off-guard. ''May I kiss you?'' Another heartbeat of silence. Then, a soft chuckle, relief flooding Sunday's expression, ''You may.'' And you did, leaning forward, the nervousness terrorizing you as your lips met his in a soft, brief kiss before you pulled away again, your hands shaking slightly.
You were about to say something, comment on...everything that had been said and done today, but before you could come to word, Sunday cut you off with another kiss, this one longer, deeper, and as you stood there in the light of the early morning sun, you found yourself hoping the moment would never pass.
Sunday held you close after that, his forehead resting against yours as you just stood there, allowing the rays of sunlight to engulf you, the pale golden hue like a sign that you had made the right choice, that you had found the right one.
For the longest time, neither of you wanted to leave, lost in the other's embrace until Sunday slowly pulled away, a sigh escaping his lips, ''I fear I probably have to get back to work.''
''I- I know,'' you muttered, looking up at him, ''Just...a few more minutes? Is that alright? I just...I don't want you to leave yet.'' Your voice was quiet, almost fragile. You couldn't remember the last time you sounded this vulnerable.
And Sunday noticed, eyes widening momentarily before he began to smile, grabbing your chin to tilt your head up and place another brief kiss to your lips, ''Just a few more minutes, then I'll have to get back. But you're welcome to stay with me if you want.''
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passengerprincessblog · 1 day ago
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“Breaking Point” ~ Pt. 3 Lewis Hamilton x Reader
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Angst
Summary: As tensions rise between Y/N and Lewis, their unresolved conflicts spill into their separate lives. Y/N immerses herself in her new role in LA, while Lewis decides to fly to LA to surprise her and show his support for her career.
WC: 1,200
The shrill sound of my 5 a.m. alarm jolts me out of sleep, blaring through the quiet hotel room and shattering the brief peace I’d found wrapped up next to him. I fumble to turn it off, groaning as I shake off the last remnants of sleep. The room is still dim, only a hint of light peeking through the curtains, and I glance over to see Lewis still sleeping soundly, his chest rising and falling steadily, blissfully unaware of the rude awakening.
As quietly as I can, I slip out of bed and finish packing my bag. Every movement feels heavy, knowing that this is it—I’m leaving him again, back to LA, back to the whirlwind of work and responsibilities waiting for me. Last night, we’d found solace in each other, but it didn’t change anything. It was just a brief escape, and now, here I am, running out the door before sunrise.
My gaze drifts back to him, his face relaxed, his brow free from the tension that seemed to linger between us these days. I hesitate, biting my lip before walking over to his side of the bed. Gently, I reach out and brush a hand over his shoulder, softly calling his name. “Lewis… hey, I have to go.”
He stirs, blinking a few times before his eyes finally focus on me, and I watch as the sleepiness fades, replaced by something I can’t quite place. He sits up slightly, his expression neutral, and for a moment, I feel a pang of disappointment. I’d hoped for something more—a plea to stay, maybe even a look of understanding. But instead, he looks… indifferent.
“Right,” he murmurs, running a hand over his face. “Have a safe flight.”
I try not to let his tone affect me, but it does. I lean down, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. His arms wrap around me instinctively, pulling me closer, and just as I’m about to pull away, his lips linger, soft and desperate, as if he’s silently begging me to stay. The intensity in his kiss catches me off guard, and I feel my heart tighten, a mix of guilt and frustration swirling within me.
But I can’t stay. I pull back, offering him a small smile. “I’ll call you when I land, okay?”
He just nods, his gaze following me as I pick up my bag and head for the door. As I step out, I can feel his eyes on me, the weight of everything unsaid pressing down on my shoulders, leaving me with a gnawing ache that I know won’t go away anytime soon.
Back in LA, the bustling energy of the city greets me as I arrive at my manager Jude’s office, trying to shake off the early-morning flight fatigue. Jude looks up from his desk, his expression stern as always, and gestures for me to sit down. His demeanor has always been more fatherly than anything else, a grounding force in my otherwise chaotic career. But sometimes, his seriousness grates on me, especially when I feel like he’s trying to dictate my every move.
“Welcome back,” he says, his voice clipped. “Hope you’re ready to dive right into this project. We’ve got a packed schedule, and you’re expected on set every day.”
I nod, though there’s a part of me that’s hesitant, the thought of missing Lewis’s upcoming races still weighing on me. I take a deep breath, bracing myself. “Jude, is there… any way I could work my schedule around just one of the races? I could maybe fly out for a day or two?”
His brows knit together, and he looks at me as if I’ve just suggested the most absurd thing he’s ever heard. “Y/N, this isn’t a hobby. This is your career. You need to be here, focused, without distractions. You can’t just fly off every time your boyfriend has a race.”
“I know,” I say, feeling a surge of frustration, my voice slipping into a whine. “But it’s important to him, and—”
“Enough,” he interrupts, his tone firm. “You need to be more mature about this. You’ve worked hard to get here, and now it’s time to prioritize. Do you want to be taken seriously in this industry, or do you want to be seen as someone who’s just along for the ride?”
His words sting, and I feel like a chastised teenager, but I bite back any retort, nodding quietly. He’s right, in a way, but the guilt lingers, a constant reminder of the sacrifice I’m making.
By Thursday, the tension between Lewis and me hasn’t improved. We’ve been texting back and forth, but every conversation seems to lead to an argument, leaving me drained and frustrated. He’s in Mexico now, gearing up for the next Grand Prix, while I’m stuck in LA, bouncing from one meeting to the next. His texts are short, clipped, and filled with veiled accusations about me not being there.
Lewis: “You could have rearranged things. You know how much this race means to me.”
Me: “Lewis, you act like it’s so easy. I’m not just sitting around, you know.”
Lewis: “It’s never easy with you, is it?”
I roll my eyes, feeling a surge of annoyance. Me: “Maybe if you weren’t so dramatic, we wouldn’t keep going in circles. I can’t drop everything for you.”
Lewis: “I just want you to show that you care.”
Me: “I do care! You’re the one making this a bigger deal than it is.”
The conversation ends with him leaving me on read, and I feel a mix of anger and sadness bubbling up. Nothing seems to be enough for him, no matter how hard I try.
POV Switch: Lewis
It’s Sunday, and the Mexico Grand Prix is about to start, but my mind keeps drifting back to Y/N, and the words we exchanged over text. I’m angry, frustrated, and yet I can’t shake the feeling that I’m being unreasonable. But damn it, it’s hard not to feel like she’s slipping away, especially when she seems so focused on everything but us.
During a break in the paddock, I run into Lando, who’s his usual, cheerful self, chatting with everyone he passes. Part of me wants to brush him off, but instead, I strike up a conversation, hoping to ease my mind… or maybe to confirm the suspicions that have been eating at me.
“So, Y/N not making it out here again?” Lando asks, looking over at me with a knowing grin.
I shrug, keeping my tone casual. “Yeah, she’s busy with this new project in LA. She’s pretty focused on it.”
“Oh, I know,” he says, nodding. “She told me she’s so excited for this role. You must be thrilled for her, right?”
I feel a pang of jealousy mixed with guilt as he says it, my jaw tightening. “Yeah… thrilled,” I murmur, trying to keep my tone light. “She, uh… talks to you about it?”
Lando nods, clearly oblivious to my discomfort. “Yeah, we chat here and there. She mentioned she’s hoping it’s her breakout role. I think she’s really got it in her. You must be proud.”
The weight of his words hits me harder than I expected. Here I am, stewing in jealousy, focused on how much her absence bothers me, while she’s out there doing everything she’s worked so hard for. I should be proud of her, thrilled for her. But instead, I’ve been selfish, putting my own needs above her dreams.
Lando gives me a friendly clap on the shoulder before heading off, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I take a deep breath, feeling a wave of guilt wash over me. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own feelings that I haven’t taken the time to actually support her, to let her know that I’m here for her, no matter what.
Without hesitation, I pull out my phone and send a quick message to my assistant.
Me: “Book me a flight to LA for Monday. I’m going to see Y/N.”
If I’m going to make this work, I need to show her that I care about her career as much as I care about my own.
POV Y/N
The first day of filming had gone perfectly. The nerves I felt in the morning had melted away as soon as I stepped in front of the camera, diving into the role I’d been preparing for over the past few weeks. By the time I’d wrapped up, I was buzzing with energy, flipping through the script in my trailer, trying to absorb the details for tomorrow.
I hadn’t thought about Lewis all day, not the arguments, the jealousy, or the fact that he was in a different country entirely, living his own life without me. And it was a relief—a reminder that I could be more than just “his girlfriend.” I was here, on set, doing what I loved, and for the first time in a while, it felt like it was enough.
A sudden knock at my trailer door pulls me out of my thoughts, and I look up, surprised. I’m not expecting anyone.
“Come in!” I call, glancing at the door as it swings open to reveal Lola, one of the sound managers I’d worked with before. Her blue hair, piercings, and tattoos make her stand out on any set, and her unapologetic opinions are part of why I love her so much. She’s a firecracker, always calling things as she sees them.
She gives me a wide-eyed look, an amused grin spreading across her face. “Dude, I think your boyfriend is here? That driver guy, right?”
I blink, thrown off guard. “Wait… what?”
“Yeah, he’s out there, looking all glamorous in some fancy designer outfit,” she says, rolling her eyes. “I think the whole crew is practically drooling over him. Even the director’s talking to him.”
I get up, peering out the small window of my trailer, and sure enough, there he is—Lewis Hamilton, surrounded by a crowd of intrigued crew members, the director himself leaning in to shake his hand, a look of admiration on his face. Everyone is utterly charmed, captivated by him, and I can practically feel my blood boiling.
Seriously? He just shows up here, at my set, and pulls all the attention toward himself? It’s my project, my moment, and here he is, stepping in unannounced, drawing everyone’s focus like he’s the main attraction. Does he have to make everything about him?
As I watch, he finally manages to extract himself from the crowd, striding toward my trailer with that confident, self-assured look he always has. He’s dressed head to toe in Dior, sunglasses on even though the sun is starting to set, and there’s a part of me that feels a stab of irritation. He didn’t just show up. He came here looking like this—like he’s ready to own the entire scene.
I school my expression, putting on a happy face, reminding myself to play along. After all, it’s not like I don’t want him to be here. But the audacity of him showing up out of nowhere without even a heads-up feels… intrusive. Like he’s stepping into my space and taking over.
He steps inside, flashing me that smile, and I force myself to smile back, pretending I’m thrilled he finally decided to show up for me for once.
“Surprise,” he says, his voice warm, like he’s expecting me to melt into his arms. He reaches out, hands settling on my waist, pulling me close.
I smile tightly, crossing my arms, refusing to give in so easily. “You didn’t tell me you were coming.”
He chuckles, running his hand up my arm, his touch gentle but insistent. “Wanted to surprise you. Thought you’d be happy to see me.”
I manage a small smile, swallowing the annoyance bubbling up inside me. “Oh, I’m thrilled,” I reply, trying to keep my tone light, though it’s laced with a hint of sarcasm. “And I’m sure the whole crew is too. They’ve all been fawning over you since you got here.”
He smirks, clearly not picking up on my irritation, as he leans in closer, his voice dropping. “Well, I’m only here for one person.” He tilts his head, pressing a soft kiss to my cheek, trailing his lips down to my jaw. “I missed you.”
I stiffen, resisting the urge to melt into him, but it’s getting harder with every touch, every soft kiss. He’s pulling out all the stops, the charm, the warmth, and it’s almost enough to make me forget how angry I was. Almost.
But then, the thought creeps back in. He didn’t come to celebrate my success, to support me in my project. No, he’s here because he’s jealous, because he wants to make sure I’m still wrapped around his finger, focused on him. He’s here for him, not for me.
He moves to kiss me, but I turn my head away, crossing my arms even tighter. “I’m not in the mood,” I say, my voice cool.
He pulls back, a look of confusion flickering across his face, quickly replaced by irritation. “What’s wrong?”
I shrug, feigning indifference. “Nothing’s wrong. I just… wasn’t expecting you to show up here like this. I thought you’d be in Mexico, celebrating with your team.”
He frowns, his jaw clenching slightly. “I wanted to see you. I thought you’d be happy I came all this way to surprise you.”
I feel a pang of guilt, but my frustration outweighs it. “Well, maybe I would be if it felt like you were here for the right reasons.”
His expression darkens, and he steps back slightly, crossing his own arms. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
I sigh, biting back the urge to say something harsher. “It means that every time I have something important going on, it somehow becomes about you. You’re here on my set, charming everyone, pulling all the attention to yourself. Can’t I have just one thing that’s about me?”
The hurt flickers across his face, but he quickly masks it, his tone defensive. “I’m not trying to take anything from you, Y/N. I came because I wanted to support you.”
I let out a dry laugh, shaking my head. “Support me? You’ve been fighting me about this role since I took it. You didn’t even want me to take it.”
“That’s not true,” he argues, his voice rising slightly. “I just wanted you to consider my feelings. It’s like you barely even thought about how this would affect us.”
“Oh, believe me, I’ve thought about it,” I snap back, the frustration boiling over. “But it’s always about you, isn’t it? You want everything to be on your terms. You get to chase your dreams, but the moment I try to focus on mine, it’s a problem.”
He opens his mouth, then closes it, his gaze dropping, and I can see a flicker of guilt in his eyes. He shifts uncomfortably, as if he’s realizing the truth in my words. But before he can respond, I feel a swell of something else—guilt, mixed with the nagging reminder of what Jude had said to me in that meeting.
I hear Jude’s voice in my head, his stern, almost fatherly tone telling me to focus, to stay on track, to avoid distractions. He’d warned me that this relationship would only hold me back, that I needed to be stronger, more mature, more independent.
But I love Lewis. No matter how much he frustrates me, no matter how selfish he can be, I still want him. I still want to forgive him, to wrap my arms around him and let everything else fall away. He’s here, standing right in front of me, trying, in his own flawed way, to show me he cares. And despite everything, I feel myself wanting to forgive him, to give in to the comfort of his embrace.
I look up at him, his face softening as he senses my hesitation, his hands reaching out, silently begging for me to let him in. My heart aches, torn between the voice of reason urging me to focus on myself and the overwhelming pull I feel toward him, the need to be close to him, to forget all the tension, if only for a moment.
But as I stand there, caught between my own wants and the reminder of everything I’ve worked for, I find myself frozen, unable to decide which path to take.
————————————————————
Thank you for reading!
Remember, liking and following let’s me know you want more writings! 💜
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swanhild · 3 days ago
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I agree with the person who said that Curufin had the exact same potential to do great things as his father and his son, but at first he was too wrapped up in Feanor/too focused on pleasing him to really branch out on his own and then the oath and subsequent war against Morgoth happened and he shifted all his mental focus and energy towards developing weaponry and armor and so on. Something he was good at, but didn't find particularly mentally stimulating or enjoyable. In my post-canon headcanons/fic that I dream of writing one day Curufin will be the one to eventually invent photography, however. A huge hit with the wider populace of Valinor who don't necessarily have Finwean-style money to have portraits of their babies or weddings done by a professional painter.
He also learns to detangle his existence from Feanor's post-canon (I headcanon he gets released from the Halls before Feanor does) and goes through some personal growth. He also manages to repair his relationships with Celebrimbor and Finrod during that time and grows closer to Nerdanel. He and Celebrimbor actually start collaborating on a whole bunch of projects together and the two of them are directly or partly responsibly for a lot of technologial innovations and revolutions in post-canon Valinor (I mean sure, Curufin is #problematic, but the things he comes up with are just too good/tempting to ignore. And Celebrimbor is okay in most people's books anyway, so...)
I personally am a Curufinrod shipper, but whether platonically or romantically, I think Curufin has a lot of strong feelings about Finrod, most of them quite overwhelming and difficult to deal with for him. And his tried and true method for dealing with such feelings is repressing them. Until he can't anymore and things get crazy. But anyway, one of the more straightforward and normal feelings he has towards Finrod is gratefulness for taking care of Tyelpe after he was re-embodied. I headcanon that Celebrimbor was re-embodied before Curufin and was and still rather unwell by that point, which caused Curufin a lot of worry. Celebrimbor canonically loves Finrod and I think the feeling is mutual (Finrod thinks of him as a son, in a way), so I feel it makes sense for Finrod to be there for Celebrimbor during that time period.
He's a disaster bisexual with internalised homophobia and everything else @gardensofthemoon mentioned on that subject.
He used to have a crush on Aredhel when he was a kid/teen and is still very fond of her.
He secretly craves affection and attention though under normal cicumstances he'd rather bite off his tongue than admit that out loud (or even to himself most of the time). Luckily for him, I headcanon Celegorm as being quite affectionate with the people he loves (in a very casual, easy-going, dude bro-y sort of way: he will slap people on the back, casually drop his arm around them and/or pull them into hugs, ruffle his younger brothers' hair etc.) Curufin will act annoyed with Celegorm when he does these kinds of things, but really, he doesn't mind at all. (In time, Curufin does get better at expressing his wants and needs though, and other people, like Finrod, also begin to understand this about him, so it all works out in the end.)
He's actually rather conflict-averse and tends to avoid direct confrontation in favor of scheming and manipulating his way through life. Direct confrontation rarely goes well for him when he does try, so he leaves that kind of thing Celegorm for the most part. (Another avantage of having Celegorm around. And Celegorm doesn't mind fighting some of Curufin's battles for him).
The siblings he has the most difficult relationships with are Maedhros and Caranthir: When he was younger Curufin felt somewhat resentful and jealous towards Maedhros for being the firstborn son (it should have been him, obviously). He claims Maedhros is doing a terrible job of being their father's heir by frequently going against Feanor or what Feanor would have wanted. A part of him admires Maedhros for being able to stand up to their father and following his own mind, but another part of him is just about self-aware enough to realize that this makes Maedhros more similar to Feanor than Curufin could ever be and resents Maedhros even more for it. He also can't help but feel that Maedhros can read him like an open book (which is true) and in his most paranoid moments Curufin is convinced that Maedhros thinks him pathetic and all kinds of other things he secretly fears about himself. Caranthir can also see right through Curufin, but unlike Maedhros, he doesn't mince his words and very bluntly says what he thinks of Curufin or his actions right to his face. Caranthir is also very close in age to Curufin and doesn't really have Maedhros' older brother instinct of "must protect my little sibling and be nice to him even when he's being a terrible brat". This means that Caranthir can and will say things that cut Curufin right to the core (and which will keep him awake at night because he can't stop thinking about them.)
He is what would nowadays be called neurodivergent (like most of his family) and has a bunch of very specific hyperfixations and interests that only very few people can relate to.
He also suffers from anxiety (something he has in common with Maedhros) and used to bite his nails when he was younger. He still does it sometimes, but he thinks it's a shameful habit and tries very hard not to.
He loves Celebrimbor above all else and genuinely tried his best as a parent (although he didn't always succeed and failed quite badly a couple of times). But particularly when Celebrimbor was younger? I really think he was a pretty involved and good father to him. Also is super proud of Celebrimbor (and Celebrimbor outdoing him bothers him much less than he himself being unable to live up to Feanor).
He usually calls people he loves by their mother names (incl. Celegorm, Celebrimbor and Finrod), but he himself doesn't like being called Atarinke. Most people he's close with just call him Curvo.
He's quite a picky eater and somewhat embarrassed by that as well (it's immature and childish in his mind), but he just can't bring himself to eat certain things.
I also agree with the people who mentioned him enjoying mathematics (he and Celebrimbor like poring over difficult math problems together in my mind), that dark blues and greens look much better on him than Feanorian red, that he's deeply insecure, that he's a night owl (he'll often stay up all night and sleep during the most random hours of the day) and that he speaks in a soft tone of voice.
Hey fellow people who presumably enjoy curufin. Can you reblog with some curufin hcs? I think we truly need more Curufin Attention (either positive or negative but if you hate him why are you even here) in this fandom and I will be the change the world desperately needs. Cheers
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nightlyrequiem · 3 days ago
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Hey there, I love your writing! (you may know because I'm always around hehe). You're smooth, set a good flow even with the one shots, I look forward every Saturday to read a new chapter🥺 It's definitely the best girls for the girls writing!!!
And, I have a request hehe, I just read 'Weeping Angel' and I had the thought about Valeria finding a girl that works in her cartel who is the opposite, instead of crying she gets on with Valeria atitude.
Something about Valeria been rude, that harsh and mocking tone she has that's chef kiss, she screaming with her crew? Barking orders with her brows narrowed? Reader LOVES IT, just staying around looking with doe eyes at the cartel mami being a sexy leader all day.
Hiii Infeeeerno!!! I see you in my notifs all the time. Always makes me smile 🫂
I'm glad you're enjoying my writing, as a self-proclaimed girl lover, I naturally like to write for them
I can't even lie watching scenes where Valeria is angry just does something unspeakable to me. Something about aggressive outspoken women is just so... I say I want her to yell at me like that but I'm probably more like Reader in Weeping Angel
That being said I wouldn't mind her making me cry anyway
Tags/Warnings: Valeria Murders a Man, Valeria is Mean to Reader, Reader is Into it
Yell For Me
Valeria is yelling again. Someone messed up a shipment and it was costly. She's all but throwing a fit over it. The two men responsible are forced to face the brunt of her fury. She's throwing things and cursing. It's the most beautiful thing you've seen. Raw passion and emotion clings to every insult and curse she hurls at them. Valeria waves her arms around as she rants, the muscles in her biceps flexing with each movement.
"-Fucking idiots! How do you mess up such a simple thing?"
You almost feel ashamed over how attractive you find her when she's angry.
The men try not to react when she prowls closer. The smell of violence is in the air. She doesn't even hesitate when she pulls out her gun and shoots one of them in between the eyes. So sure of herself and her decision making. Valeria is a woman that knows what she wants and isn't afraid to be vocal when she doesn't get it. Before the other man can process what happened she's grabbing him by the hair and dragging him back roughly. Throwing him to the floor. You hear the breath knocked from his lungs.
You watch, entranced, as she beats him. Balling up her fists and repeatedly pounding into his face and chest. It's quick and efficient. Though he's still left twitching. It seems Valeria is feeling merciful today. She leans down close to his ear and hisses out a warning.
"Fuck up again and you'll be drifting home in pieces."
You want her to hit you and threaten you like that. Please, lord, just once let it happen? She stands and steps over his body like it's trash on the sidewalk. Valeria stalks past you and you turn and follow her dutifully.
You two walk into the elevator and wait while you ascend. Valeria's gray tank top has a few specks of blood staining the front. Speckled just under her rosary. She's still tense which has her flexing her arms unknowingly. You want to run your fingers over them. At a closer look you see small, silvery ropes of scar tissue littered among her arms.
"What the hell are you looking at?" She snaps, breaking your focus. Your eyes snap up to hers. Meeting her glare head on.
"Nothing." You murmur. 
"Well cut it out, pendeja." She growls. "It's rude to stare. Ya deberías saberlo, imbécil."
"Sorry." Though you're not really sorry.
The elevator doors slide open and she's out. You follow close behind like an over eager puppy.
"You!" Valeria says harshly, pointing at a man going over inventory. He jumps and looks at her.
"What?"
"Go to the warehouse by fifth and make sure everything is accounted for." She demands. Brows lowered. Valeria has one of those voices that commands attention even when it's not barking orders at you. When she's not yelling, she's usually being sarcastic and sneering at whoever she's speaking to. Like they're stupid and inconveniencing her by talking to her. The man nods and scurries off. She rubs a hand over her face. Something she does when she's getting a headache - and you're delighted to be privy to that information. "We have paperwork to do." she says.
Valeria can feel your eyes boring into the side of her head. She tries to ignore you while she works. You're weird. Valeria thinks of you as strange. She's seen that look on your face whenever she's bitching someone out. Eyes wide and glazed over, lips parted like she's giving the most compelling speech to ever grace your ears. Even when she's yelling at you for doing something wrong you have that look. She suspects you're into that kind of thing. It's not like she purposefully puts on a show for you sometimes. Playing up her anger to worse than it is. Even if she was, so what? Valeria isn't the type of person to be looked at with awe, and while she does revel in the fear and hate, it feels nice to be looked at differently.
It's hard to find someone who is able to withstand her temper and sharp tongue. Not only are you able to withstand it, but you seem to like it.
"You're staring. Again." she drawls. Looking up at you with an unamused expression. Anyone else would look away under her withering glare, not you though.
"Sorry."
But you're not. She leans back in her chair and rests her forearm on her desk. Not subtly flexing it for you. "Did you do anything productive, or have you been staring this whole time?" She snaps at you. "You told me you could handle this work, but it feels like something as simple as paperwork is too hard for you."
"I can do paperwork." You reply. Your voice is quiet but not because you're hurt or scared.
"Then do it." she says dryly. You look down and return your attention back to your task. You're weird, but Valeria likes that you aren't scared of her. Valeria likes the way you look at her, like you're five seconds away from pouncing on her.
It's hard to focus on your work when Valeria is only a few feet away. The desire to look at her face, mature in a way that only age and stress can do, is strong. She's strong, and aggressive, and homicidal, and so, so hot. You need her to scream at you, then you'll die happy.
"When we're done, we're going to go bet something to eat." She says. It's a command, not a request.
"Like, you and me?" You ask hopefully.
Valeria sighs irately. "Do you see anyone else in the room I could be referring to?" She asks dryly. 
"Right." You smile.
Valeria shakes her head and mutters under her breath.
"So..." You pipe up after a few minutes, watching her scowl when you do anything besides work. "Are we going to dinner in a date way?"
"Did you inhale paint fumes as an infant?" Valeria retorts. "Yes, it's a date. If you keep asking me dumb questions it won't be anymore."
"Sorry." You reply, still smiling dumbly. Forever unperturbed by her words.
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voice-of-the-tired · 1 day ago
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(ramblings of a madman upcoming. this is borderline nonsensical but I just gotta get this out there)
ugh, I LOVE the voices parallels so much. they make me insane. and I've been thinking about opportunist/hunted and skeptic/smitten the most rn.
for the first two, in their respective chapter 2s they are survival responses put in situations where said responses are entirely reasonable, but will end up reinforcing the "status quo" if entertained. this is somewhat the case with most of the voices, but I think it's especially noticeable with them.
the opportunist has a "betray them before they ever get the chance to betray you" mentality, and would you look at that, the witch has the very same mentality! and he is CORRECT in thinking she will betray you. because she will. but by following him and what he thinks, you're just making it impossible to break the cycle of violence (this is literally the point of the thorn).
the hunted behaves... well, like prey, and uh. the beast IS a predator. he IS prey. she is hunting them. but if you just follow your instincts you'll never be able to free her, or defeat her, or leave together or learn about reconciliation or do anything else that isn't survive.
so their situations are reinforcing their behaviour, then their behaviour in turn reinforces their situation; they are stuck in a cycle. at least with the hunted you can have the skeptic to make a plan later on in the den, I guess. but it's still a fascinating thing.
I think the stubborn and the broken chapters are a bit similar to them in this regard, but those have more to do with giving meaning to the princess and choosing whether or not you should fight against it in the end. it's a bit of a different situation. skeptic and smitten also don't quite... doom themselves if you just follow them, even though they actively feed into the chapter's "concepts", because they're sort of "tools" made to complement and help you towards your goal (free the princess through skepticism or blind devotion) as opposed to survival responses.
talking about them... oh boy, skeptic and smitten in their respective chapter 2s. you can just go through with whatever the plan was (leave with her), but if you don't, they won't ever get the only thing they sought and will hurt others (and themselves) in their desperation. you take away smitten's happy ending, and you leave skeptic without answers, and to that they just. fucking lose it. going with the previous tool comparation, you could say that's what happens when a "tool" isn't useful in a specific situation any longer. it can't do anything else except for its designated function. so
when the illusion that love makes everything possible and that all you and the princess needed was each other shattered, the smitten couldn't believe it. this was everything he ever wanted and everything he knew; you are the hero. she is a damsel. you are in love. you save the damsel and live happily ever after. that's what HAD to happen, and if it didn't, then it will. he has to make it happen, because it can't and shouldn't work in any other way.
in the prisoner, if you don't take her head, you are shoved into eternal nothingness while left with only questions. what is this place? who is the narrator? what is he hiding? who is the princess? why is she locked up? how could she end the world? is there a world? where is it? why are we the ones doing this? why did the princess cut off her head? not only could they not go through with saving the princess like they tried before, but there are SO many questions, and skeptic didn't get any answers! they can't be left unanswered, the truth HAS to be unraveled. that's what he's been trying to do all along. it's the only thing that matters. they WILL keep going and they WILL figure it out.
they are too obsessed to care about anything else. they are too stuck in their tunnel vision to accept anything else. they are too far gone to do anything else.
lord help me I am going insane because of this game /pos
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lkfarrout · 2 days ago
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Scared (family fic)
This is technically a Stan x Reader fic, but there's no real romance in it and the relationship isn't the focus, so I'm calling it a family one
Summary: Mabel needs your help
Warnings: very light angst
The door creaked open and a sliver of light pierced the darkness on the porch of the mystery shack. 
“Mabel? Whatcha doin’ awake, kiddo? It’s late.”
“Sorry Grunkle Stan,” was Mabel’s reply, before turning to you, “I really need your help.”
You began to make your way to the door, but Stan interrupted, “Kid, now’s really not a good time. Can it wait till morning?”
“No, Stan, really it’s okay,” you assured him. With a better view than Stan, you could see that Mabel was upset. It was quite a contrast to the energetic, bubbly girl you had gotten used to. 
“Alright, just don’t keep her too long.” Stan pointed a stern finger at the 13-year-old. 
Once inside, the tears began to well in Mabel’s eyes.
“What’s going on?” You crouched and placed a hand on Mabel’s shoulder. 
“It happened,” Mabel pulled her sweater way over her head. Sweater town. Dipper had warned you about this. You pulled Mabel in for a hug, both for comfort and to hear her better through the thick fabric.
“What happened?”
“I started my period,” was the muffled response.
“Oh, that’s alright,” You gently pulled the sweater just under Mabel’s eyes, “C’mon, we’ll go get you everything you need.”
Mabel emerged fully from sweater town and begged, “Please don’t tell Grunkle Stan.”
You reassured her, “Don’t worry. He won’t know a thing.”
The two of you emerged back on the porch, newly equipped with jackets and car keys. 
“Stan, I’m borrowing your car.” You tried your best to walk quickly before Stan registered what you’d said, but he managed to get in front of you. 
“Wait a minute, where to? Here, I’ll drive.” Stan attempted to grab the keys from your hands. 
“No Stan, just Mable and I.” You shoved your hand with the keys into your jacket pocket. 
“Look, I’m not just gonna let you drive my car with my niece to who-knows-where in the middle of the night without an explanation.”
“Stan, we’ll be back in ten minutes. I promise.”
Stan peered around at Mabel, who was hiding behind you. He’d seen her in some of the scariest situations a kid could be in, but for the first time, it seemed to be him that she was afraid of. Defeated, he said, “Alright, you get ten minutes.”
Stan watched the headlights fade away and spent the whole time glancing between the dark forested road and his watch until you returned. He opened the car door for Mabel, but she made a beeline to the shack while tightly clutching a grocery bag. Stan led the way back to your original place on the porch. 
“You gonna tell me where you went?” Stan kicked at a few small rocks.
“I promised Mabel I wouldn’t.” There was a long silence.
Stan’s voice was shaky. “She looked scared. A different kind of scared.” Stan put his head in his hands, “Sometimes I wonder if last summer was too much for her, or if I did somethin’ I still don’t remember.”
“She is scared, Stan - scared of growing up.” You gently rubbed his back. “I felt the same way the first time I got mine.”
Stan looked up at you, and you watched the realization settle onto his face.
“But hey, she asked me not to tell you, so don’t go makin’ it weird.” You playfully elbowed him. “It wouldn’t hurt to be a little extra nice, though.”
Stan gave a tiny smile in response. “Sounds like I’m making stancakes in the morning. Wonder if we still got any of that edible glitter layin’ around.”
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fullmetal-scar-simping · 1 day ago
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Sharing catman's quality tags:
#i want to type my tjoughts on this ship - how it actuqlly makes sense and how Dante probably loathes Sloth for taking Hoenhiem from her and
#in some way she finds pleasure in the fact that Sloth now finds herself to be the same/similar inhuman monster Hoenheim thought Dante and#her son (envy) was#and abandonded them for
#the ironics of th3 situation. And Sloth probably sees Dante as a master#a boss she cant disobey - a boss she wouldnt disobey because she has no reason to do so. i think Sloth would think of her abuse as a comfort
#in the sense that like
#“im not a human - so this must be what i deserve and therefore ill allow myself to get treated like this by the only person who i can deem#trusthworthy“
#or something???
#im not very good at ship analysis#but i like this ship now#you gave me brain worms RAHH
Your analysis is solid! And you're welcome for the brainworms (it's my purpose, to spread them like a plague 😌). The way these two orbit each other's respective familial collapse, and an almost mutual-monstrosity (with Dante genuinely being the truly horrid of the two) is a biiiiig draw for this ship imo.
For me, there's more:
The manipulation begins as soon as she finds Sloth dragging her broken new body behind the home Trisha once called her own. The confusion and sheer physical agony that Sloth had to have been in; barely able to ambulate, unable to communicate or assess the situation, in the darkness of a rainy night, frighteningly alone, every moment is seering pain:
And in comes Dante.
The first human in her scant few hours of existence to look upon her without revulsion. She offers aid, shelter, and she knows who is responsible for making her this way. Dante can articulate the source of Sloth's waking horror, and that feels like as good of an approximation of emotional resonance as Sloth has ever experienced. She's a pit of depression but this knowledgeable woman takes her in! And Dante would readily grind the facts of Sloth's tragic mis-creation into the homunculus while coating it in the veneer of tender faux-sympathy. Both out of her own sick, hateful shadenfreude as well as further planting the seed of Sloth's rejection of Trisha's children. Not because Sloth would have otherwise embraced them had it not been for Dante, but rather I think the mess of jumbled, tattered memories that were imparted onto her from Ed and Al (or that came with Trisha's soul; really depends on interpretation here) would form the rich soil of her disposition; Dante merely cultivates into a thriving garden. Sloth senses that those children have severely and permanently rejected her, wanted something or someone of her, and almost as soon as she was made into being they abandoned her. So Dante preys on this.
I also see it as: Sloth's rescue and eventual reformation into a functional humanoid physiology would tender her towards Dante. And Dante's a sicko who will not pass up the opportunity (perhaps mere novelty) of toying with her. Each step of her recovery and that feigned kindness Dante provides comes with metaphoric jabs against Sloth. That she owes Dante everything, that she's becoming such a pretty thing but is still a lowly homunculus, do you remember the pathetic relationship the woman you can never be had? The children that woman raised? Did that man ever care about you when he would so easily leave you behind (Dante keeping to herself the smug sneer of "He was with me longer, but I didn't break apart when he left either). You're a fraud: but doesn't it feel good when she brushes Sloth's hair? Cups her nearly-formed cheek? Strokes her newly healed shoulders? Smiles at her while congratulating her on her progress with each feeding, all while commenting on how 'animal' she finds Sloth's desperate devouring of those red stones. Sloth intuits that this should be humiliating but she finds no urge to rebuke what feels like (warped) affection. It's a poison she will passively allow into herself if it means Dante will keep her under her wing.
As a character Dante feels like an abusive monster adept at pressure cooking people into the roles she wants from them. Sloth doesn't care for having a purpose generally, but pleasing Dante gives her something that fills the abyssal ennui. She crumbles under the weight of what should have been, what once was. And since Dante despises Trisha, it feels like it fits into Sloth's refusal of Trisha as well.
I see Dante almost keeping Sloth as a prize. A win against Hohenheim. And with Sloth's ever-acquiescent demeanour, with the way Sloth will allow whatever Dante feels like doing (in general, to her, at her, against her, 'for' her) while still showing the subtlest signs of sorrow when Dante pushes the homunculus' depressive buttons too hard (but Sloth will still bend to her will without question or rebuke, such a good plaything she is) how could she not find sick satisfaction in treasuring* Sloth?
(*Treasuring meant in the most objectifying sense of the word.)
And how that all eventually clashes with Lust's growing sense of self-possession and eventual rebellion? The odd 'bond' Sloth and Lust formed prior to that, and how Sloth views not only Lust's immutable spine, but how that insults Dante in Sloth's eyes? Ouuughh! 🤌
It's utterly fucked~
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TOXIC. YURI.
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