#that’s important to me. that is an important part of this.

[vicetrevni]

I truly hope that the ones leaving TikTok really don't flock here, they will be both angry *and* confused by how this site runs things.

Mostly the fact that you can basically say *anything* here (no saying 'unalive' or p3do' or you will actively get smacked upside the head by many users), and there's no algorithm (you gotta make up your own space here by hand, brick by brick, and yes that includes actively blocking creators/tags you do not want to see).

I can see a wave of the TikTok 'haters' coming here and trying to do their same bullshit all over again, but the rest of us will just give them a hard stare until they learn to not fuck with the place they've come into.

idk if it's just me but i'm glad that the majority of people outside of here believe tumblr is a dead site because like i've been here for 13 years and like this is my house??? i don't need thousands upon thousands of people flocking here it'd be like inviting chimps to a house party total fucking carnage

[jaeyunnz]

𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙩 𝙊𝙛 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙈𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩

ni-ki + f¡reader ❤︎ 18+

WARNINGS — dom!ni-ki, sub¡reader, arguing, making out, cussing, rough sex, unprotected sex (dont do it.) sucking him off, hair pulling, spanking, pet names.

this is proofread ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<) !!!

Last night, Riki and you had got into a huge argument about him being on the phone 24/7. You already overthink a lot and seeing him do that raises your suspicions even if it may really be nothing. You thought he was texting some other girl, with the way he's been ignoring you and too engrossed on the screen. When you brought it up, he was calm about it and told you it was nothing, just him doing work. Though you didn't believe that, and kept nagging at him, so then he snapped. After that, the both of you have been silent, not even looking at eachother once.

On a midnight around 10:45 pm, Riki got back from work and took off his jacket, hanging it on the coat hanger, still in his suit. He kicks off his shoes and sees you in the kitchen, cooking. He doesn't bother to say anything and just walks upstairs to the bedroom, slamming the door which caused you to jump at the sound, sighing.

You finish cooking him something to eat and make your way upstairs, knocking gently on the door. Theres no reply, its just silent. You grab the knob and turn it slowly, opening it and seeing Riki yet again on his phone, sitting on the bed with his head against his arm. He doesn't acknowledge the fact that your there, so you take a step closer, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Riki?" You whisper softly, but there still isn't a reply. "Riki."

He finally lifts his head up, meeting your eyes with an intense gaze. "Look I had a shitty day at work, I don't need this. " he says with a grunt, breaking eyecontact with you. "I'm not here to argue with you, I made you dinner." Saying softly, he looks up at you, "cool, not hungry." You frown, placing the plate on the nightstand, "You better eat." He snaps his head back up to look at you, crossing his arms. "And you better leave my room."

You sit there, a bit upset at how harsh he's being. You spent a lot of time making him food and the fact that he's rejecting it? Over a dumb argument?

"Really, Riki? Why are you being like this?" He ignores you, still on his phone, you furrow your eyebrows and slightly peek to see what he's doing. "What the hell are you doing that's so important, I dont understand!?-" he cuts you off when he slams his phone down on the nightstand, causing it to shake. "You wanna check my fucking phone?" He grabs it, tossing it to you. You stare at it, unsure what to do at this point. "Go, check it since your on my dick about it all the time."

"I don't need to.. I trust you, I just want your attention, Ki." He pokes his tongue through his cheek, shaking his head slightly. He gets up from the bed, staring down at you. "It's not like I'm purposely ignoring you, I have a lot to do." You get up as well, looking up at him, "I know and I'm sorry." He turns his head the other way, grunting. "Let me make it up to you... please? I'll do anything, Ki."

He doesn't reply, so you decide there isn't any use and your about to leave the room til he grabs you, pushing you harshly against the wall, pinning your body down. You gasp from the sudden movement, swallowing hard and locking eyecontact with him.

He smashes his lips against yours in a harsh kiss, your eyes widen for a moment before you give in, wrapping your arms around his neck. Once your lips part, he slips his tongue inside your mouth, rubbing it against yours while trailing his hand down to wrap around your waist, a moan escapes your lips. He slowly pulls back, the both of you panting heavily.

Barely a few seconds passed by and he dives back in, this time leaving a trail of wet sloppy and rough kisses on your neck, sucking or nipping at the skin. You grip onto the back of his hair, rolling your eyes back. "A-ah mmph, Ki..." He leaves a few marks on your neck before pulling back slightly. "Make it up to me huh?" He groans out as you nod, confirming this. He places his hands on your shoulders, shoving you onto your knees.

"Take off my belt." You widen your eyes, knowing where this is going before undoing his belt slowly, his hand coming down to yank your hair back roughly, a whimper escaping your mouth. "Hurry the fuck up." You gulp as he lets go of your hair, working faster this time and finally slipping it off, tossing it aside before looking up at him to guide you. "I think you know what to do from here, hm?" He looks down at you, your hand moving up and unzipping his pants, yanking it down along with his boxers.

His cock springs free, its big and has a slight curve to it. You admire his length for a moment before swallowing hard. "R-riki... I don't know if that'll fit in my mouth." He slides his hand down to cup your cheek, "I'm sure you can do it, babygirl. And if you don't i'll shove it down your throat myself." Your eyes wide in surprise from his words, his thumb running against your bottom lip. He's never usually this rough with you, but maybe it's because of your earlier arguments. He's probably frustrated.

"So, can you handle that, or what? Or are you gonna back out now, because fuck, if you start and then can't finish, I swear to god." Gulping, you shake your head and murmur out, "I-I'll try..." Nervously hesitating, you wrap your hand around the base, your palm and fingers barely around the length fully due to his huge size, placing gentle kisses on the head of his cock. He places his hand on the wall behind you, biting his lower lip. Finally you take only the tip inside your mouth, sucking and kitty licking it. "Fffuck..." he groans out, tilting his head back. Your tongue swirls around the head, his cock already leaking pre-cum as his free hand comes down to grip your hair, pulling you closer.

This causes you to take more of his length, almost choking. Grabbing his hips for balance, you move your head lower, bobbing your head up and down at a slow pace. "Fuck yeah... just like that baby." He grunts out deeply, fluttering his eyes shut in pleasure. "Damnit... your mouth feels so good."

His breath hitches as your head moves up and down at a faster pace. He starts bucking his hips forward, thrusting deep down your throat and causing you to gag, drool forming and dripping down the corner of your mouth. "Fuck I'm gonna cum." he pulls his cock out of your mouth and you instantly gasp, a string of saliva attached from your lips to the tip of his cock, panting heavily.

"Bend over for me baby." He breathes out, you follow his orders and lay onto the bed with your hips up, your ass in the air. He climbs behind you, pressing his bare cock against your shorts. You bite your lower lip and push your ass back against him, a loud groan escaping his mouth. He wraps his thick arms around your waist, pulling your hips up higher and roughly shoving your shorts down along with your panties. He spits on his palm, rubbing the saliva onto his massive head. He presses the blunt tip against your cunt, pushing slowly. "Oh shit."

You arch your back, screeching softly from the feeling, "A-ah, Ki!" He grips your thighs tighter, pushing his thick cockhead past your resisting pussy with a low grunt. "Damnit." He inches in deeper, spreading you obscenely wide. His cock twitches violently as he sheathes himself halfway inside you. "You're squeezing me so fucking tight..." He's barely halfway in, and you're already whimpering and arching your back against him like a cat in heat.

"T-too big.." you whimper out in pain and pleasure. He wraps his massive hands around your waist, pulling you onto his thick length inch by agonizing inch, causing you to fill the room up with pleasured screams. "Fuck. Take it babygirl... you can do it." He groans deeply as he bottoms out, his huge cock buried to the hilt inside your tight pussy. "Fuuuck..." He leans over your back, panting heavily into your ear. "A-ah, Ki! P-please be more gentle i...it's too much hahh.."

His massive dick throbs inside you, his thrusts becoming deeper. Hes not planning on going easy with you, especially not after the argument. Hes frustrated and this is his way of relieving it.

Your hands grip tightly onto the bedsheets, digging your fingernails in the soft material as your eyes roll back, his thick cock rubbing against your inner walls, "You're gonna make me cum." He grabs your hips roughly, pounding into you steadily, his massive cock stretching you wide open with each thrust as the room gets filled with his groans and your whiny screams. He adjusts his angle slightly, hitting a spot deep inside you that makes you moan continuously. "Your taking this dick so well, babe."

"A-ahh Riki, I'm g-gonna-" He slams into you again, his huge length almost lifting you off the bed. You squirm around, your thighs are shaking violently from the pleasure and roughness of his thrusts. "Cum for me babygirl." He whispers dirtily, bringing his hand down to spank your ass, leaving a red hand print as it causes you to lift your hips up, wincing in both pain and pleasure.

Your clenching tightly around him before reaching your climax, cumming and squirting all over his cock and the bedsheets. He pounds into you wildly, grunting loudly as he feels his orgasm approaching. "Shit, I'm cumming!" He slams his cock as deep as physically possible, his thick shaft throbbing intensely inside your tight pussy. "Take it all, fuck!" He smacks your ass one last time, a gasp coming out of your mouth while his massive load floods your inner walls with sticky cum.

He slowly pulls out, you whine from the loss of contact and fall onto the bed, exhausted. His massive length coated in your juices and his thick load. He sees it leak out of you, running down your thighs. "Fuck, baby. That was incredible." he leans down to gently kiss your cheek, collapsing ontop of you. "Y-yeah? It better have been.. because m-my ass is sore." he lets out a chuckle, leaving soft kisses on your neck. "My poor baby. A little too rough huh?" You look up at him with half closed eyes, kissing his lips, "mm... but i liked it." You smile tiredly at him.

💘: I LOVE RIKI AHHH anyways thank you to everyone on here for being so sweet!!! lmk who i should do next, maybe jungwon or sunghoon? ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )

[moonlitwitchdaisy]

virgin loser bff!nanami had been your closest friend ever since the time in preschool when your doll’s head broke, and he came over with his toy truck, offering to play together instead.

the fact that you had such different personalities never got in the way of your friendship. you were always the most popular and social person at school, while nanami didn’t even have any friends other than you. whenever you called him over to join you, and your friends asked, “how are you even friends with this guy?” he thought it might bother you. but when you’d respond, “ken is the most important person in my life. if you have a problem with him, you can fuck off,” it made him realize just how much you truly cared about him.

to nanami, you were the most precious and beautiful thing in the world. even if he knew he didn’t deserve you, he would do anything for your affection.

it didn’t take long during high school for him to realize his feelings for you had shifted from simple friendship to what he could only describe as “real love.” the way his dick would get hard whenever you hugged him, the way he’d sweat with excitement, and the constant desire to kiss you — these were definitely not things a friend would want.

the more time he spent with you, the harder it became to suppress these feelings. he thought about confessing to you, just to get it off his chest, but he knew you’d reject him. someone like you would never look at a loser like him. besides, it would mean the end of your friendship, and he couldn’t risk that. so instead, he chose to endure it silently, watching you hang out with other guys and resigning himself to a life filled with pain and self-loathing.

until tonight.

he had no idea how it happened. maybe someone had slipped something into his coffee because there was no other explanation for why he was inside you right now. you were supposed to be out with that handsome guy from the university club, but apparently, you could only stand the date for an hour before coming home.

“you’re such an idiot, ken. how can you not see that i love you? every guy i meet, every guy i date—i’m looking for you in them, but none of them are you,” you yelled at him through your tears, and all he could do was stare at you in shock.

had you wanted him all along?

“i don’t understand…” he muttered.

you cupped his cheek with your hand, your tearful eyes locking onto his. the heat in his face was unbearable as he felt your fingers gently stroke his skin. you’d never touched him like this before.

“why don’t you see me as a woman, ken? i want you to touch me. i want to touch you.”

he wanted to—more than anything.

“you’re only doing this because your date didn’t go well. otherwise—”

“otherwise what, ken? you think i’m lying?” you snapped angrily.

nanami sighed deeply, his voice breaking as he said, “how could someone like you love someone like me? i’m just a loser.”

you never saw him as a loser. to you, he was the funniest, kindest, and most handsome man in the world. who wouldn’t fall for someone like him? you knew people didn’t want to get to know him because he was shy and quiet, but the real nanami was so much more than that.

you said with longing, “ken, kiss me.”

he tried to ignore how painfully hard he was as he stammered, “i can’t…”

“shut up and kiss me.” standing on your tiptoes, you placed your hands on his shoulders and leaned in closer. whispering again, you said, “kiss me…”

when nanami finally pressed his lips to yours, he closed his eyes. it was his first kiss, and he had no idea what to do. thankfully, you guided him, moving your lips against his, teaching him. he followed your lead, sometimes using his tongue, sometimes tugging on your bottom lip with his teeth, making you moan into his mouth as the kiss grew messy and heated.

“let’s go to your room,” you managed to whisper when your lips finally parted.

that’s when nanami started to panic. he had just had his first kiss—how was he supposed to satisfy you in bed? if something happened and you regretted it, he’d never forgive himself.

“i-i’ve never done this before,” he admitted, embarrassed.

you smiled softly, pressing a kiss to his lips. “it doesn’t matter. i just want you, ken. just kissing you is enough to make me cum. but if you don’t want to—”

before you could finish, nanami scooped you into his arms, silencing you. as he carried you to his room, he said, “of course i want to. i’ve always wanted to, angel.”

he loved calling you angel.

and that’s how it happened. now, here he was, fucking into you with uneven thrusts, his cock buried deep inside the tight heat of your pussy — something he’d dreamed about for years.

you couldn’t understand how this man hadn’t had sex before. when he was preparing you, he was like a professional. sure, his excitement made his movements a bit clumsy now, but his mouth had worshipped every inch of your pussy, giving you exactly what you needed.

“ken… you feel so good,” you moaned, your legs wrapped tightly around his waist as the thickest and biggest cock you'd ever seen stretched your tight walls with audible intensity, his face buried in your neck.

“angel, this is so—so…” nanami pressed kisses to your neck, pumping into you with desperate, erratic movements.

“k-ken, i love you,” you whispered.

if this was a dream, nanami never wanted to wake up. having you like this, feeling you so deeply while you told him you loved him, it couldn’t end.

lifting his head from your neck, he straightened up, moving your legs to rest on his shoulders. gripping your thighs for support, he began thrusting faster, his hips slamming into you with a rhythm he didn’t even know he had.

“oh my god, ken—this is too much—ugh…” you could feel him in your stomach, his cock reaching places no one ever had.

“i saw this position in a porno… i always imagined fucking you like this—shit,” he confessed, his voice full of raw emotion.

“ken…” his words made you blush even harder because, for years, you’d wanted this too.

you had always wanted his thick, 8-inch cock to pound into the deepest corners of your pussy with a merciless rhythm, his sweat dripping onto your body as he claimed you completely.

“i-if i’m doing something wrong, tell me,” he said, throwing his head back with a groan. the muscles in his neck were taut, making him look unbelievably sexy. “teach me, angel, please…”

if anyone needed to be taught, it wasn’t nanami—it was you. despite his inexperience, he was giving you the best sex of your life.

“ken, if you insult yourself again—ahhh—i swear…” you gasped as he kept hitting your sweet spot over and over, your back arching off the bed. your fingers moved to your nipples, trapping them between your fingers and playing with them as you kept grinding against nanami’s cock.

“angel, i—i can’t last much longer.” your pussy was gripping him so tightly he could barely hold himself together.

still pinching your nipples, you gasped, “cum, ken.”

“fuck, i’m sorry…” he muttered.

after pumping his thick, sticky cock into your delicious pussy a few more times with quick and uneven thrusts, his grip on your thighs tightened, and he emptied himself inside you, filling you with his warm seed.

breathing heavily, he slowly lowered your legs from his shoulders to the bed and gently pulled out of you. his lips left a trail of kisses from your waist to your neck and finally to your lips. as he nuzzled his nose against yours, you closed your eyes and inhaled the scent of his woody cologne.

“you didn’t cum, did you?” he asked, regret evident in his voice.

opening your eyes, you kissed him and pulled back slightly. “you made me cum twice with your fingers and mouth, ken. trust me, i got everything i wanted.”

his cheeks flushed red. “i’m sorry, angel.”

“don’t apologize, idiot. even though you’ve never done this before, you gave me the best sex of my life. and this won’t be the last time—you’ll have plenty of chances to make me cum again.”

“do you really love me?” he asked, still unable to believe it.

“ken, if you ask me that one more time—”

“okay, okay” he said quickly, pressing a kiss to your neck before whispering, "i love you."

you looked into his bright, honey-colored eyes, placed your hands on his cheeks, and pulled him closer for a kiss. “those rumors from high school were true.”

nanami furrowed his brows. “what rumors?”

“the girls used to call you the big-dicked loser,” you said, biting your lip to keep from laughing.

nanami looked at you, utterly defeated “big-dicked loser?”

“uh-huh.”

“they talked about me?”

“ken, no matter what you wore, there was no hiding that massive thing, but thanks for giving us the view,” you said, finally unable to hold back your laughter.

“you’re welcome?” his confused response only made you laugh harder.

“i love you, big-dicked loser,” you said between laughs.

nanami didn’t respond. instead, he flipped you onto your stomach, pinning you under his weight.

“we’ll see who the loser is. get ready, angel, because this time, i’m gonna make your pussy squirt.”

you didn’t protest as he slid his still-hard cock back inside you, burying your face in the pillow and screaming from the sheer pleasure.

tag: @aishi-toru

all rights belong to the @moonlitwitchdaisy do not copy, reproduce, or translate my work.

dividers by @aquazero

[shorthaltsjester]

endlessly thinking thoughts about cr characters, morality, and selfishness (likely place for me to be, given that my day job includes endlessly researching ethics and meaning of life) but in light of bell’s hells most recent illustration of their insularity and individualism, I’ve been really like. Trying to unpack why I find it particularly egregious in this party when obviously mighty nein were notoriously self-interested, especially at the beginning, and when vox machina had quite a few moments where their horses were far higher than they had any reason to be. And again, I really want to make it clear her that I don’t hold self-interest or selfishness to be some abhorrent and unforgivable thing, in fact I think its incredibly normal especially given the context of main characters in a story told through game mechanics that flourish on the interest of the individuals making the choices. I’ve written before about how one of the throughlines that I’ve seen in laura’s pcs (since I’m someone who particularly enjoys looking at the moral outlooks characters develop) is a common thread of morality that’s highly dependent on their own interests. And like, this is a positive throughline to me! Without getting into my own views on morality, it is particularly compelling to me for characters with isolated upbringing (which applies to vex, jester, and imogen, each in different ways) to develop a moral code informed by that isolation, and in vex we see her moral code is ‘anything goes if it protects those I hold dear’, in jester we see a moral code that doesn’t care about morality as much as it cares about the chance to care and be cared for, and in imogen we see a moral code developed in response to her very unique experience of hearing the darkest parts of people and judging them on those (which to be clear, i am not judging her for that fact, I think it makes extreme sense for someone who hears the thoughts the people have to be horrified by those things, but it does mean her moral system is almost completely backwards, where intention holds more weight than action, which perhaps makes sense of the popularity of defending all of her ideas and choices and the Right Ones by certain parts of the fandom that insist leftism is hidden in the dnd real play). And that’s all to say that, out of the cr parties we’ve seen, I don’t think any single member of bell’s hells is uniquely more or less selfish or more or less of an asshole than previous characters. And in fact, I tend to be quite fond of selfish characters, I have a well documented history of cherishing them well beyond the cr fandom. But the point is that my calling something or someone self-interested is not a value judgement in this context, it's a descriptive claim about the traits a character exhibited.

Imogen, who has insisted time and time again re: the values of the accord that she would not be swayed by the temptation of predathos because she recognizes the importance of this fight, only to turn around and pretty immediately open herself up to predathos to fulfil the most threatening part of ludinus’ plan is self-interested. I cannot conceive of any other way to describe her choices. And her being self-interested doesn’t mean she can’t also be altruistic at times, but I will be clear that I don’t think her risking killing herself as she attempts to bring down the god-eater that she released is particularly selfless. In my best faith interpretation I’d say she’s pretty middle of the road in that choice. But I bring all this up because a comparison I’ve been seeing is that bell’s hells aren’t as mean as the mighty nein or even vox machina in certain moments and that it doesn’t make sense for the fandom to view bell’s hells as likely to be villains when the same wasn’t true of the previous two campaigns, and I think I have to pretty emphatically disagree, and not because I don’t think there aren’t moments in both campaigns that feature extremely high levels of assholery and villainry from pcs �� I mean, some of my favourite cr characters are percy and jester, both of whom i’d say are ���good guys’ due to the pure luck of the found familys they fell in with and both of whom often suggested plans that were. Not okay. To say the least. But ignoring the difference between suggesting fucked up plans and walking your god-eater infused bestie back towards the troops sent to support you in keeping that entity contained, the other big difference I’ve noticed in my own introspection on how I react to bh vs mn and vm, as well as which things i cherish about previous campaigns that were really missing from c3 to what I think is the story and the character’s detriment (staying away from the shape of the narrative, just because others have made posts that put words together better about that than I can) is that while members of vm and mn remained self-interest to the end of their campaigns and have reasserted those habits in appearances since, the parties as entities working in exandria had both, to echo ashton’s apt suggestion to ludinus, grown up.

Like one moment I think of is beau and fjord’s convo in the nein hells episode, because beau is being her asshole self and fjord is being his ‘I care about My People and I’ll think about the rest later’ self (i say affectionately but certain parts of the fandom I recognize would view derogatorily) – clearly they’re not the kindest people as they discuss bell’s hells, but two notable things are (a) they still treat the hells with the respect and use their means to help them prepare for the battle coming, even when they hear the horrifying thought that the hells aren’t certain they’ll choose to save the gods, all the nein request is that they choose the kind option (b) they say none of their doubts to the hells themselves – likely because they have the empathy to realizes that its a high stress situation that won’t be made better by a reminding the hells how small and likely ineffectual in the universe they are – and their comments about cannon fodder are ones made in jest to each other. Even taking that in the worst faith interpretation, the jokes that beau and fjord make in a private conversation has absolutely zero influence on bh. This is quite different than bells hells, after like. as clearly betraying the accord they promised to assist (even if their intentions are ‘good’) as is possible, belittling the religious armies sent to support their endeavor to keep predathos sealed as they all feel the weight of an irrevocable change occurring in exandria, one bells hells has first account knowledge now that it IS incredibly willing to eat mortals, and laudna and ashton, the members of bells hells most often cited by certain fandom spaces as characters who have gone through so much and it only made them kind and strong, look into the faces of people facing literally existential threat and laugh and mock them. That is, mighty nein as individuals is comprised of some of the, perhaps, most asshole pcs, but The Mighty Nein as a party is committed to treating others the best they can, to leaving things better than they found them (a quote that I think is particularly exemplary of the dynamics of self-interest at play in the mighty nein, since it originated as a blatant illustration of molly’s notion of self-importance but developed to become a kind of commandment that the nein became committed to fulfilling). The opposite is true of bell’s hells, where orym and dorian at least both seem to have motivation beyond themselves, imogen’s changes but has shown she is capable of letting go of her ‘intention reigns’ requisitely individualistic perspective, and chetney plays up his selfishness but has shown himself to care quite a bit for people beyond their party but bell’s hells as an entity is uh, pretty self-interested.

To clarify some of my thoughts here in the spirit of the wicked renaissance happening rn, I’ve always felt that for good was an incredibly apt song for the mighty nein, because it really nails that feeling that perhaps they didn’t change each other as individuals to become better people on the grand scale, maybe they’ve just changed each other permanently, but they (and I would agree with this) view each other as having changed each other for the better (e.g., I don’t know if I could say whether jester is a morally better Individual at the end of the campaign, but I can say with certainty that she fulfils and makes moral choices in her work as a member of the mighty nein). And I don’t know if this can be said about bell’s hells – I think they have certainly influenced each other and changed how alone many of those characters felt, and that is not a slight on the story, it can be a great centre for a story to focus on how a relinquishment of the feeling that one is alone in the world can change them. But for the most part, that hasn’t been bh’s story, their story instead has been about validating their refusal to become anything beyond what they insist was out of their control. And not to get to annoying philosophy student about it but bell’s hells are maybe some of the most explicit examples of sartrian bad faith I’ve seen in fiction in a hot minute, because their insistence that they treat their wounds as incurable and entirely out of their hands has led to them limiting their own potential because many of them ignore their responsibility as people to make choices in their own lives. In contrast, at the end of the campaign, mighty nein are still assholes as we all like to refer to them as, but in the context of an apocalypse, I think I’d prefer the assholes like fjord – who is certainly being truthful when he says he doesn’t care about what harm comes to 200 people when jester is at risk but who also, as they traverse into aeor, is insistent that their group won’t be running away from whatever apocalyptic threat awaits them, even if that means dying in the fight – than I would an asshole like ashton – who promises to fight for the little guys but who then turns around and acts upon a philosophy that says the strongest will survive. When you look at the mighty nein, it is incredibly easy to see the fingerprints of change they’ve left upon one another, and even to see the boundaries they place on one another’s asocial behaviours through their presence in one another’s lives (more recently the group chastising jester’s fond words about ludinus is a good example, but others are yasha’s pressuring caleb and essek to move on from their wizard talks as they collect paper in aeor instead of venturing further toward the battle they have to fight, or fjord and jester’s frustrated conversation in the ukotoa reunion about how fjord made a stupid decision and he doesn’t regret but he feels dejected and jester checking him on the fact that they still need to figure out a solution). It takes some extrapolation to see how bells hells have changed each other in more than aesthetic ways, if they have at all. Because the catalyst for change is pressure to do so, and aside from moments where it was truly change or be left behind, bh doesn’t challenge each other unless forced to by morri’s trials or delilah’s interruption and on the very odd occasion an interesting game of rollies-spin-the-bottle. 

And it’s interesting because the asshole behaviour of the mighty nein, like bell’s hells, stems from being left on the outskirts of society and the mistreatment that comes with that, so seemingly the change from being alone to being with others is one that actually insists upon being challenged to grow and change. I mean, just looking at the starting points of the characters, there’s an intriguing amount of stark similarities between their pasts; jester and fearne were both people loved dearly by the family they grew up with but who were loved within the confines of a gilded cage, ashton and beau both have an glaring self awareness that their anger at the world has a very particular source (their parents) but use that as justification rather than a means of self reflection, yasha and orym are trying to navigate a world in the wake of an incomprehensible loss and a sense of duty, fjord and imogen are both seeking out knowledge of their own powers and unknowingly retreading the paths of their missing and presumed dead parental figures. The idea that bell’s hells are uniquely mistreated by society in the history of cr player characters is, politely, laughable. Absolutely they’re mistreated, and I think it could be fair to say these characters are more defined by their isolation than others but I think that has more to do with the lack of downtime rp than it has to do with the context of their suffering.

What I have loved about the mighty nein is that in their realization that the bonds they forge with each other are undermining the truths most of them had taken to be true – that they were alone and without a place in the world – they are also forced to realize that no longer being alone and isolated comes with the weight of social responsibility. And this was born out of a willingness the mighty nein had to call each other out and that the players had to allow their characters to be wrong and get called on it. Because that’s the friction of living with other people on the small party scale and the large world scale – in the mighty nein’s ability to survive as a people who cared for each other even when they didn’t agree or when they made decisions that they couldn’t understand, they were constantly developing their ability to care for the very same world that left them alone. Because in campaign two, the world as a whole had the role that the gods have in campaign 3 – why should a party of nobodies, treated like shit by the world and the people in it go through the effort of saving it?

And the mighty nein answered, in their own imperfection and assholery, that nothing is ever just one thing – one of the things I cherish most about campaign 2 is its commitment to ambiguity, allowing the complexity of the world to go unsolved because there is no solution to the fact that life is immense and sometimes incoherent. I don’t think its a coincidence that I’ve seen some of the people lamenting the idiocy of fandom members like me who think that it actually isnt a leftist win to destroy the world in the hopes of spontaneous justice arising in c3 are the same people who criticised c2’s conclusion with the cerberus assembly for not being leftist (a word which for them means . the aesthetic image of a rebellion sparked and not the unending commitment to doing what you practically can to make life more just for those around you – whether they’re particularly kind to you or not) enough. The conclusion of c2 emphasizes that the choice to make the world a better place isn’t something that can be achieved in one single sweeping action that will wipe the boards clean – there is no murder of all the members of the cerberus assembly that would’ve solved the problems that caused the assembly’s power. There is no forcing of the god’s out of exandria that will deal with the actual issue undergirding both bh and their blorbo-moralized fans' criticism of the gods, which is that mortals are cursed with the burden of free will, and being mistreated by other mortals means constantly having to try and make sense of the fact that someone chose to do something cruel to you (and, sometimes, that you made a choice that allowed that cruelty to occur) – a burden made much heavier when the person who hurt you is your cult-indoctrinated mother, or your cult leader father, or the person in the mirror. The mighty nein take up this fight, and the complexities of their individual identities begin to heal in the light of a commitment in their relationship as friends and as a team to improve the world, even on the small scale. Bell’s hells remain gridlocked and stagnant and unwilling to change in an unspoken turf war of self-interest because they’ve insisted (influenced in part by the context of the campaign 3 narrative but, as others have aptly pointed out, that narrative was much more influenced by bh’s lack of curiosity regarding anything except their own minds) upon finding a solution to a problem they’ve decided is earth-shatteringly (quite literally, to the people of ruidus) unjust based on, aside from encounters where fellow mortals were the primary oppressors, their own testimony of the god’s not listening to them and the obvious villain’s parallel testimony. Something I’ve really been chewing on lately is caduceus words to fjord about his role as a paladin of the wildmother – that maybe it just means that someday, someone will pray for a miracle, and there fjord’ll be and the weight that has given that fjord’s bond to ukotoa came from his desperation not to die and his willingness to accept whatever help would be offered, that fjord could now be the person that reaches out to someone in need, and that the hand he offers won’t come with a curse.  And I think that’s really the poignant difference between bh and mn for me, that for bh, their experiences of injustice, though did make them personally bitter, did not make them morally misanthropic.

Comparatively, Bell’s Hells chose to ensure that, because the gods never answered their prayers, they shouldn’t be permitted to answer anyone else’s. Is this an understandable position? Sure, for the walls of a preschool, not really for a group of characters that I will ever be in any way inclined to view as something close to heroes. While it’s true that there are parts of life that are beyond our control – somethings happen to us that we have no say in, and they cause injuries both physical and mental that we are left to heal without any rhyme or reason, it is still our responsibility to heal them. And if you choose not to, well, then you’ve chosen not to, and are responsible for the consequences and judgements that choice might amount to.

Anyway, sorry this is all over the place but TLDR: calling bell’s hells as a party self-interested is actually just descriptively correct – they can save members of the party made up of their close friends and still be self-interested – and while the individual members of bell’s hells actually aren’t all that uniquely self-interested in the history of cr pcs, the party is uniquely self-interested in how they’ve chosen to navigate the world an their responsibility to the people in it.

[pebblefattree]

Don't ask me why I'm crying about "being a bit of a loser is an incurable part of the human condition". It's not important.

Honestly? My main piece of advice for writing well-rounded characters is to make them a little bit lame. No real living person is 100% cool and suave 100% of the time. Everyone's a little awkward sometimes, or gets too excited about something goofy, or has a silly fear, or laughs about stupid things. Being a bit of a loser is an incurable part of the human condition. Utilize that in your writing.

[thelov3lybookworm]

The Red Carpet

Summary: Flashes and interviews, the dreaded part of his job. But at least his wife is with him.

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 1651 (including comments and captions)

Warnings: none me thinks 😋

A/n: first time doing smau kinda nervousss 🤪 BUT IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS AHAHAH

azzie is a movie star, yn is a fashion designer and his college sweetheart (ps. my heart my soul @berryzxx gave me the idea to make yn a fashion designer so ILYYY 🥹🥹🥹)

(id love to expand in this universe tbh, so if youve got ideas, lemme know 😋 cass and rhys coming soon, maybe ill do some for vanserra bros too 🥹)

also im so proud of myself for coming up with all these usernames like who is dis 😳

ANYWAYS, ENJOYYYY!!!🥳🥳🥳

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Y/nAzriel_06

liked by Y/n'sHusband3000, rhysand-thegreat, nestassworld-obvi, nesta_archeron26, feyre-archer-on and 450,026 others

Y/nAzriel_06 stole his matcha when he wasn't looking... think I'll stick to my good ole coffee 🫤😓 ps. so excited for the award ceremony today!! how many of you are we seeing?? ❣️✨

view all comments

Y/n'sHusband3000 look at that gorgeous woman 😍(I told you you wouldn't like the matcha😏i also knew you stole it 🤭)

Y/nAzriel_06 stawp it 🥹(no kisses for you today)

Y/n'sHusband3000 NO PLEASE IM SORRY

ticktockbomb these two are adorable omg

thebiggestpookiee IM GOINGGG OMG IM SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU AND AZRIEL AND THE REST OF THE STARLIGHT CASTTT 🥳

imjustagirl1995 girl why do you have two diff robes on 😭

Y/nAzriel_06 lmaooooo i put on the pink robe before shower, then Az decided it was important we match after shower 🤭

mor-theoneinred oh mY GOSH YOUR NAILSSSS 😍

Y/nAzriel_06 hehe Az picked them out for me 🤭

getsunghoonedloser i wish i was in that city i would kill to come 😞

Y/nAzriel_06 theres always a next time love!! you never know when we meet hehe <3

getsunghoonedloser omg ily 🥹

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

One of the things Azriel thought could be better was the screams and flashes that bombarded him the moment he stepped onto the red carpet.

It was almost like he was some sort of zombie on his way to bite people, except that some people were such fans that they'd probably want him to.

Regardless, he smiled slightly and waved, going to greet his costars of a recent movie they acted in together. Cassian already seemed to be getting ready to walk closer to his old time friend. The movie had been very fun to work on, because not only did it have all his bestfriends working on it, the fans were also very excited for it to come out.

The one thing Azriel didn't like was the fact that Y/n was not in the film. She wasn't an actor, after all. But she did come to the set on most days to cheer him and his friends on. But what he didn’t like about her being in the film was that she wasn't going to be a part of the group photos taken on the red carpet.

She had stayed back when they arrived at the venue, telling Azriel to go on and get the group photos done.

She was a celebrity in herself, most of Azriel’s fans loving her more than they sometimes loved him. And he loved that fact. She would come once the group photos were done to take pictures with Az, apparently.

He couldn’t wait.

"My man!" Cassian hollered, dragging Azriel by the collar to where Rhysand and his wife, Feyre, who was also a part of the team stood, smiling at the cameras. Azriel took a moment to dust himself off and fix his suit before taking his place next to Cassian and Mor, facing the row of photographers and fans.

"Here!"

"Cassian, this way!"

"She’s gorgeous!"

"Oh my god, look at her!"

It was the last scream that made Azriel follow the sound of the voice, and when he found the fan who had called out, he followed her gaze.

To his wife.

She stood at the archway, leaning lightly against the frame, mobile in hand. She clutched the little device with both hands, holding it up to her chest and tilting her head to take the picture she was so focused on.

Immediately, Azriel’s cheeks began burning.

He turned back to the cameras that flashed at him, his smile getting harder to contain. Loud cheers followed his actions, making his cheeks redder.

It took only a few minutes before the shoots were done and Azriel lingered back, beckoning his wife closer. She smiled wide, walking over to him, the beautiful dark blue gown that complimented her skin so well swirling around her legs.

"Hello, love. Missed you." He murmured, his eyes fixed on her as she stopped by his side, wrapping her arms around his. Even the sudden influx of flashes wasn’t enough to get him distracted from the beauty that was in front of him.

She giggled, leaning into him and looking away from the cameras, deep into his eyes.

"We were away for only five minutes."

He shrugged, watching as she smiled once again for the photographers. "Missed you still."

She laughed, reaching up and grabbing his jaw to turn his face towards the photographers, who continued to yell instructions at them. It infuriated Az sometimes, but it was a part of the job.

Only made better by his wife by his side, of course.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

thebiggestpookiee

liked by maximusthehorse, berrysareyummies, Y/nAzriel_06, and 50,004 others

thebiggestpookiee it was so fun seeing everyone at the event tonight! i saw so many celebrities and honestly my inner child is healed lol 🤭 (ps. peep Azriel and Y/n in the second picture, they were so adorable today 🥹)

Y/nAzriel_06 omg thank youuu 🥹 i love these pictures 😍

thebiggestpookie oh gosh thank YOU ❣️

maximusthehorse girl u lucky 😭

getsunghoonedloser oof they look gorgeous 🥹

myurlisnunya omg i want what they have 😭

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

"I heard you designed his suit and your own dress?! Is that true??" The interviewer asked, looking only more excited than Y/n, which was a feat in itself.

Y/n nodded happily, and Azriel smiled, pride making his chest puff up.

"I was lying in bed one night, and then he told me we were invited, and I was like. I should make something."

"Oh my god. I also saw your post from a few hours ago. You said you made the designs in hours?"

Y/n giggled. "I was so excited for him to wear something I designed, so I sat down and locked in. And then the design was just somehow ready and sent for production the exact same day, and it felt so surreal."

The lady in the black dress squealed along with Y/n, and Azriel had to hold back a laugh at the way the two seemed to have become best friends in just moments. "I can’t believe it. That is so amazing! I’ve always been a fan of your designs."

"Thank you, thank you." Y/n smiled, flushing.

Finally, Azriel decided to chime in. "Me too. I’ve been a fan."

Y/n rolled her eyes fondly, gazing up at Azriel in the way that always had him feeling butterflies.

"I can tell! You look so good in that suit!" The interviewer laughed, nodding along.

Azriel wrapped an arm around Y/n, tugging her close as he grinned. "Not better than my designer, I’d say."

Y/n blushed harder, slapping Az on the chest, but he knew she loved it.

She always did.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

After a long tiring day, one of Y/n’s favourite way to relax was to curl up on the soft bed with either her phone and scroll or with a book.

And Azriel, of course.

He had been in the bathroom, washing up when she jumped onto the bed, crawling under the covers gremlin style and opened up her favoured app she designated for only mindless scrolling for when she waited for her entertainment -Azriel- to come so she could bother him.

She was doing what she did in these times when she suddenly paused on a video.

It was taken from an angle where both her and Azriel had been visible while he was with his friends taking pictures, and Y/n smiled at the way he began blushing when he noticed her.

It was one of the advantages of social media, the way memories are preserved.

The video switched to the person who had posted the video, screaming into a pillow before whispering into the camera, her eyes filled with what could only be admiration.

"Look at them you guys." She mumbled. "Literally look. Y/n looks so proud of him, and he looks so in love. If that is not what my future partner looks at me like, I don’t want him."

Y/n opened the comment section, her cheeks hurting from being stretched.

User1 i havent watched much of them but girl do i agree with you on this. I want what they have

User2 i only heard of them through a pick me who was trying to put yn down, but honestly, she seems like the sweetest person ever

User3 you should go check out her insta user2, she literally does her best to reply to every person that comments and shes always so positive. No wonder Azriel is so in love.

Y/n giggled, looking up when she heard the sound of the door opening. Azriel smiled at her, waddling closer to peck her forehead, in just a pair of light gray sweatpants. Y/n let him, but then the next moment, she shoved her phone into his face, wanting him to see the video too.

He only smiled, then snuggled in next to her and took her phone away. She didn’t mind, of course. She only had her sights set on the chest that looked so inviting as her pillow for the night.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Y/n'sHusband3000

liked by y/nazriel_06, mor-theoneinred, rhysand-thegreat, nesta-archeron-26 and 560,237 others

Y/n'sHusband3000 so blessed to witness her shine ✨❣️💙

y/nazriel_06 my love you need to post your own pics too 😭

Y/n'sHusband3000 why do that when i can fawn over you??

myurlisnunya i love the way he uses the same heart emoji she does and then his own 😭

getsunghoonedloser RIGHT?? I THOUGHT I WAS BEING DELULU

rhysand-thegreat im so done with you being lovey dovey ew 🤢

nestasworld-obvi just say youre jealous feyre gives me more love than you instead of acting like a 4 year old 🙄

Y/n'sHusband3000 exactly 🙄

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Permanent Taglist: @berryzxx @sarawritestories @milswrites @throneofsmut

@daycourtofficial @sweetorangeblossom @serenescureforboredom @cassie6392 @harrystylesfan2686

@olives-main @hijabi-desi-bookworm @dnfhascorruptedme

Acotar Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686

@cassie6392 @kennedy-brooke @tele86 @miluiel1

@hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter @piceous21

@mybestfriendmademe @saltedcoffeescotch @lady-of-tearshed @starsinyourseyes

@starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @byyalady

@lilah-asteria @girlswithimagination @garden-of-runar @girlswithimagination

@sunnyspycat @artists-ally @milswrites @kingdomofstarrynights

@berryzxx @buttermilktea11 @loving-and-dreaming @yucanbmylxdy

@mellowmusings @dnfhascorruptedme @fuckingsimp4azriel

Azriel Taglist: @darthdumbasss @foreverrandomwritings @azrielsmate3 @celestialend

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@celestialgilb @donnadiddadog

[hanniebaeee]

Disagreements

Hyunjin x fem!reader

Warnings: kisses? Other than that, nothing!

Genre: established relationship, fluff, angst

Summary: Hyunjin misses an event important to you, and an argument ensues. He says something he didn't mean, and he'd do anything for your forgiveness!

You stormed into the apartment, throwing your bag on the kitchen counter. The door shut behind you with an audible thud, and you heard Hyunjin sigh before he opened it and stepped inside. 

“Baby, I said I was sorry!” he exclaimed, his voice tinged with a mix of frustration and desperation.

“Hyunjin, do you even know what you’re apologizing for?” you snapped, crossing your arms and glaring at him. 

“For -” He gestured vaguely at the air between you, eyes darting everywhere but your face. “For not being there?”

“You stood me up, Hyunjin! You missed a work event I’ve been talking about for months - one I explicitly told you was important to me!” Your voice cracked, and you hated yourself for it. “It wasn’t just any event - it was my event, and you didn’t show.”

Hyunjin’s shoulders slumped, his hand running through his hair in a frantic motion.

“I didn’t mean to, okay? I thought my shoot would -”

“Your shoot? Oh my God, why is everything literally about you all the fucking time?! You couldn't have made it work, for just once?!” Your anger boiled over. “Do you have any idea how…of course you wouldn't, because I am always there. I never leave you hanging. And you just take me for granted-”

He winced, his lips parting to speak, but nothing came out. Instead, he scratched the back of his neck, eyes darting around like he was searching for a hidden escape hatch.

Hyunjin usually got away with everything. He was so used to being babied by you that this sudden outburst was scaring the hell out of him. And he really didn't have an idea how to work with it. 

“God, you’re impossible,” you muttered, turning away. “You don't even try, do you?”

Hyunjin stiffened. Because now that wasn't true. He tried. He really did.

“Is that what you think?” His words rushed out so fast, he couldn’t stop. “You really think i don't try? Oh my God! How could you say that?!”

“You proved me right, Hyunjin!”

“Babe, this was one time -”

“It's literally always-”

“If that's how you feel then maybe you should just  break up with me.”

You froze, a tear trickling down your cheek. And the silence was suffocating.

Hyunjin blinked, looking absolutely shocked. His eyes went wide as if he had only just registered what he said.

“No, wait, no -” His voice cracked. “That’s not - oh my God, I didn’t mean -”

And the sight of you staring at him with wide, tear-filled eyes - your lower lip trembling - killed him. 

You said nothing. Nothing. And that? That was Hyunjin’s undoing.

“Oh my God,” he gasped, his face contorting as he covered his mouth with both hands. “Oh no. No, no, no, no, no.”

A sound escaped him, a weird mix between a sob and a wail, and before you could blink, he launched himself at you, wrapping you in his arms so tightly your face collided with his chest.

“I’m sorry!” he bawled, voice muffled against your hair. “I didn’t mean it - I swear I didn’t mean it. I’m such an idiot! Oh my God, baby please don't hate me! You’re perfect, and oh shit, this is a disaster -”

“Hyunjin -” you tried, voice muffled by his shirt.

“God, I hate myself!” he cried, pulling you even closer. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I said break up?! Who says that? Who even thinks that?”

His sobs grew louder, chest heaving against yours as he clutched you like you might disappear any moment.

“Hyunjin -” You sighed, hands moving to rub slow circles on his back. "Breathe, baby."

“I'm such a horrible person” he wailed, lifting his head to look at you with tear-soaked eyes. “You’re comforting me when I’m the one who hurt you! Why are you so nice?!”

You stared at him - this gorgeous, ridiculous golden retriever of a man standing in your kitchen and sobbing  - and you couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up from your chest. It burst out of you, uncontrollable, even as tears welled in your eyes again.

Hyunjin froze, his brows furrowing.

"Are you laughing at me?” he asked, sniffing because his nose was running from all the crying. 

“You're such an idiot!” you wheezed, clinging to his shoulders for balance.

“That’s not fair,” he whined, pouting as his bottom lip jutted out dramatically. “You’re supposed to be mad at me. I deserve it.”

“I was mad at you,” you said, calming enough to meet his gaze. “But then you just…baby stop crying, please, ‘cos now I don’t know whether to kiss you or roll my eyes forever.”

“Can you do both?” He sniffled, his pout softening into the faintest of smiles.

You reached up, cupping his tear-streaked face as you said, “You’re lucky I love you, you big baby.”

And before he could respond, you pulled him down, kissing him firmly enough to silence whatever self-deprecating comment was surely on the tip of his tongue.

When you pulled back, he gazed at you, eyes shining like you’d just handed him the moon.

“You hurt me, Jinnie, so yeah, you're still in trouble,” you said, arching a brow. “But maybe I’ll forgive you. Eventually.”

He beamed through his tears.

“Eventually sounds pretty sexy to me.” he said with a shrug. 

“Don’t push your luck, Hwang.”

Hyunjin watched you closely as you got ready for bed. You can literally hear the gears turning in his head. 

Hyunjin’s grin widened as your eyes met, the sparkle in his eyes returning with alarming speed. You climbed into bed narrowing your eyes because you just knew that this menace wasn't going to leave you alone till this whole fight was out of the way. 

Hyunjin couldn't sleep through a conflict. You loved that about him, because any disagreement was sorted by bedtime and your home was so damn peaceful because of this one thing. 

“So…you said eventually?” He asked as you settled on your side of the bed.

“I did-”

“So, if I kiss you a few more times -”

“If you think your soggy kisses are -” You didn't finish that sentence because he obviously attacked you right there. 

“ - say, here” He leaned in, brushing his lips against the corner of your mouth. “and maybe here-”

His lips skimmed the edge of your jaw, lingering just enough to make you shiver

“Do I speed up the timeline?” he asked, and you really wanted to smack him across his gorgeous face. Oh you did. But also, you wanted to grab that very face and kiss him senseless. 

So you bit back the smirk that was threatening to show up, tilting your head ever so slightly.

“Do you think flattery is going to work on me right now?” you asked. 

“Not flattery, babe. Strategy.” His voice dipped into that low, teasing tone he knew you couldn’t resist, and his hands slid down to your waist, pulling you closer until your bodies were pressed together. 

You narrowed your eyes again, ignoring the way your pulse quickened.

“Hyunjin, seriously, your seduction strategy is just bullshit.”

His laughter rumbled against your chest.

“Okay, first of all, I personally think it's working just fine. And second, you’re dodging the question. Do I get forgiven faster if I make you feel like the goddess you are?”

His lips were already moving again, trailing slow, deliberate kisses down the side of your neck.

You tried, really tried, to maintain your composure, but his mouth found that spot just below your ear, and a traitorous little gasp escaped you. 

“Jinnie -”

“Mmh?” He hummed innocently, his breath warm against your skin. His hands roamed lazily up your back, sliding under your shirt. “You were saying?”

“I was saying -” You inhaled sharply when his teeth grazed your earlobe. “You’re not getting off that easily.”

“Oh, trust me, I wouldn’t dream of getting off easily.” he chuckled, his lips curving into a devilish smirk. “But I can definitely make this more interesting.”

Leaning down, he nuzzles your nose like the puppy he was.

“I'm so sorry, angel. I tried. I really did. Even Chan hyung did. But some things are just not up to me…I hate that, and I know you don't deserve it. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” he said, his voice soft. 

“I know baby…I know,” you whispered, your fingers tangling in the fabric of his shirt. “And you're  already working on it, so-”

“And how am I doing?” He tilted his head, eyes twinkling. 

“You’re at a solid…” You pretended to think. “…six out of ten.”

“Six?!” His jaw dropped in mock offense. “After all that neck kissing? I’m hurt.” 

You shrugged, biting back a grin. “Step it up, Hyunjinnie.”

“Oh, you asked for this,” he growled playfully, rolling you over so that you were under him in a second. You yelped, holding onto his shoulder tight. 

He hovered over you, his hair falling into his face and his grin as wicked as ever. 

“Ready to upgrade me to a ten?” he murmured, lips brushing against yours. “Because I'm going to grovel. And you're gonna wish I didn't.”

You laughed, looping your arms around his neck.

“Oh groveling sounds good.”

“Oh, baby,” he purred, closing the gap between you. “Challenge accepted.”

Divider: @saradika-graphics

Tags: @moonchild9350 @velvetmoonlght @eastjonowhere @pixie-felix @sailor--sun @chancloud8 @captainchrisstan @hansmic

[ewwww-what]

friendship so strong it grants you a sixth level spell slot. I have words to say.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I am not EVERY autistic person so this probably won't be a total coverage approach, but here's what I have learned:

People like to feel that you pay attention to and remember little but important things about them. And when someone is "small-talking" with you, it is often because they either want to offer you some of that info about themselves, or they want to pearn it about you so they can "return the effort". I think of it a bit like call and response with my cats! They don't understand me, and I don't understand them, but when I walk into the kitchen each morning, Lup runs towards me excitedly making her tiny little squeaks and trills. That's kitty small-talk! Many words of all varieties just say "I love you! I missed you! I'm happy to be here with you today!"

So I answer her! Sometimes I mimic her little sounds, and other times I pretend we're gossiping like church ladies (*gasp* NO, you're KIDDING, he said THAT?? What a scandal!") But whichever I do Lup gets excited and continues her little "conversation" with me.

People are harder. I had to really take time and practice different ways of responding before I found appropriate "call and response" for small talk, but I found that there are genuinely more options than you'd think. And the same thing happened! As I learned how to "call and respond" to small talk, I found that people would excitedly approach me to have it, and gradually we got to know each other enough that the "calls" coming from both sides got less general, more tailored to our personal preferences and interests, and I didn't have to small talk as much (but when I did it wasn't as scary either)

This isn't just my personal theory either! A fair amount of research in interpersonal/social in-group dynamics suggests that "bids for attention" like small talk function in this way of call-and-response intimacy/connection building. I have found that a LOT of social etiquette gets less scary to navigate when I at least understand the function of it. It also gave me some understsnding of why people might be hurt when I visibly don't WANT to "respond" to a "call" they've made: I'm the same way about my "calls" I just use different ones! The way I feel when I ask someone "would you want to hang out with me in the kitchen while I make lunch?" (Sad, a little anxious or vulnerable, maybe hurt if they've said no to a LOT of recent calls, etc) is the same way others feel when I decline theirs! That doesn't change if it was MISSED rather than DECLINED, but it can be repaired! Ao another thing I've taken to doing is naming for people the calls I have learned I'm most likely to miss. I know I have a hard time understanding/recognizing small talk as a call to attention, so I let people know that! And generally the people I connect best with are the ones who notice I missed a call and offer me an explicit/direct opportunity to reject it before internalizing what I've done as a rejection. This isn't really an option for everyone! And while I'm always delighted when someone is compatible with me in that way, I don't get upset if they're not, and work to not take it personally as something I'm doing wrong either.

Anyway, this got rambly at the end there, but the point is, most social interactions have a FUNCTION and while being autistic frequently means that we struggle to learn and interact in these systems as they currently exist, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we don't also depend on those functions. I think it can be easy to forget that part of the "disabling" effects of social/communication symptoms in autism is how it cuts us off from systems of support, care, and human interconectedness (things we still NEED) and it can matter to our quality of life to be able to find compatible alternatives to fulfilling those functions even if the original mechanism (small talk in this case) doesn't suit us.

Being bad at small talk doesn't mean you don't need friends, but it will probably make it very hard to MAKE friends. And we each and all deserve to decide for ourselves what to do about that.

I'm trying to figure out a good way to say "you really should actually learn the basics of small talk" with sounding like I'm biased against autistic people.

[yangjeongin]

HYUNJIN | "ATE" JACKET MAKING

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

essek swearing in zemnian + liam’s reaction

[womenclature]

I can’t exactly assume that OP intended to shame people who "say they can't watch/play/read anything slightly upsetting or scary or challenging because it's... upsetting or scary or challenging,” but to me it does sound like shame (and it sounds condescending to boot). I think it sounds shameful because OP said “challenging,” seemingly implying that a person’s entertainment content ought to be “challenging” for them, at least sometimes (frequency not specified). Whether or not someone’s entertainment should challenge them is probably a longtime argument in the art community. I believe that part of our role in life as humans is to try to be the best version of ourselves that we can be (Nietzsche’s “will to power”), and I agree that personal growth rarely, if ever, comes without some challenges. Notice I am not saying “No art form is allowed to contain challenging content.” Not only do I disagree with such censorship, I think it would be detrimental to exercising our capacities for coping with hardship. I am asking, “Does each and every individual's unique diet of entertainment have to contain some minimum amount of challenging content?” Requiring some minimum amount of challenging content – this feels a little like putting brussel sprouts in chocolate cake. That’s not really what chocolate cake is for, is it? Life is challenging. Everyone experiences challenges from life to varying degrees. Some people perceive that they experience more challenges than others. For example, my entire childhood lacked role models, guidance, emotional support, stability, safety, peace, and even privacy at times. As a result, I have a higher baseline of tension in my body at all times. So when I approach entertainment, I feel less safe consuming upsetting content than would the viewer with a healthier, more supportive background. Thus my tolerance for upsetting material has different limits. (Do I adhere to those limits? No, not always, because I am also good at ignoring my body’s stress signals, to my own detriment, of course.) Therefore, I would say to the person who is going through a difficult time, who feels exhausted, who can’t think any more thoughts at the moment – I don’t think you should let a stranger on the internet make you feel ashamed for re-reading "Pride and Prejudice” for the third time, or rewatching “Gossip Girl,” or doing whatever it is you do that makes you feel good inside. In fact, I think some degree of escapism can actually be healthy. Humans are unique in how “online” their brains are at all times, and I don’t think evolution completely equipped us with any innate mechanisms to compensate for that (often very stressful) fact. So, we manufactured them. And that’s ok so long as we aren’t hurting ourselves or repeatedly missing out on important opportunities “irl.” Let’s encourage each other to grow and challenge ourselves. But let’s not shame each other for having creature comforts. Everyone has his or her own path. We can choose to be respectful of that path.

whenever people say they can't watch/play/read anything slightly upsetting or scary or challenging because it's... upsetting or scary or challenging all i can think of is this lol

[humblegoat]

every once in a while i think back to college and the time my animation professor used moses from prince of egypt as an example of “unappealing character design” and each time i remember this i’m closer to branding it an internalized racism thing

[nenoname]

always thinking about mabel causing high fives to be invented 100 years early which meant the stan twins got to use high sixes as kids....

[bromantically]

u seriously have to let go of the idea that "man" and "woman" are totally separate. u have to be comfortable w the idea that identities are way more complex than a binary. if u wanna break the binary u HAVE to accept that there are identities thatll blur and coexist in ways that are only truly contradictory if ur still adhering to the gender binary u claim to reject. sometimes women are gay men. sometimes men are lesbians. these are not impossible and theyre not contradictory, theyre just experiences that exist because man and woman are just 2 genders out of countless others, not opposites

[8-evil-annoying-catboys]

fun fact: experienced witches who practice it know that any form of divination is more or less just self-reflection. no matter how much you believe in supernatural stuff or don’t, if you identify yourself as a witch and youre skilled at the practice of divination, you know not to ask foolish questions like “will i get this job” or “who will i marry,” regardless of your preferred form of divination. you ask questions like “what should i do to get this job” to ur tarot deck, or “should i pursue this person i like romantically” to your pendulum. the idea is that you already know the answer, even if you don’t know that you know.

so, with a pendulum (which isn’t my preferred method personally but plenty of witches love it), you know already if that person is bad for you, and your subconscious moves the pendulum to swing to tell you no, you shouldn’t pursue them, bc you already know you’re gonna get hurt. with tarot (which IS my preferred method), the cards all have many meanings but your immediate feeling when you look at them is more important than any pre-assigned meaning (bc it reflects what you already intuitively know).

that’s why a good fortune-teller reads for themselves, and if they do it as a job, skilled readers don’t take questions for concrete answers about the future and they seek to learn about the problem at hand before a reading. but tbh it’s always better to practice divination for yourself rather than paying someone else, bc divination is a tool to seek advice from the universe but also from yourself, bc the answers are already within you.

so basically, a skilled diviner who uses pendulums, actually uses the ideomotor effect to seek clarity on things they know subconsciously, but not on a conscious level. an unskilled witch using a pendulum, uses the ideomotor effect to get the answer they want to hear to the question, “will this work out?”

in short, yes, a pendulum is just the ideomotor effect in action, ‘specially if you don’t believe in all the hippie dippie crap that i believe in, but even i can admit that there is a lot of psychological components to it that some witches don’t acknowledge bc it doesn’t fit in with their belief system. however, believing in magic isn’t a requirement to be a skilled fortune-teller. you can use a pendulum with the full knowledge of the ideomotor effect and you can believe that nothing other than your subconscious is guiding your pendulum, and still get something out of it—as long as you know the right kinds of questions to ask yourself. of course you don’t know if you’ll marry the person you’re pining for right now, but you might know if you should actually avoid them like the plague because despite how attracted you are to them, you know that they’re actually kind of cruel with a veneer of charm covering that up.

tbh this is exactly what i love about divination, bc i’m very intuitive but don’t always trust myself when i’m not using my cards, or tea leaves, or a mirror to throw my own thoughts back at me. it allows you to interpret that which you already know as information from the universe or a deity or whatever you need to believe is saying this stuff to you, so that you’ll trust yourself. it’s a great way, for me at least, to train myself to listen to my intuition, and to learn the difference between my intuition and my anxiety (bc it’s hard to explain to people who don’t practice divination, but the voice of my intuition is distinct from the voice of my anxiety—they sound very similar bc they’re both a part of me, but after a lot of practice i can mostly tell which is which)

When I was a kid I had a book of like, "fun physics experiments for kids". And one of them was an "experiment" where you hold an object by a string and just by focusing on the direction you wanted it to swing, it would start to move in that direction even without your input. The book of course explained that this was the ideomotor effect, a phenomenon where your thoughts can create minute, unconscious movements in your body.

Then a couple years later I got a fortune-telling kit that included a pendulum. You hold the pendulum over a piece of paper that says "yes" and "no" and ask a question, and whichever way the pendulum moves is the answer.

At which point I was like "hey WAIT a minute", and in hindsight I think that experience explains most things about who I am as a person