#that’s heartbreaking oh my godd | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lostfracturess · 9 months ago

Note

okay i’ve loved s&c since i started reading it but my god…chapter 8 was seriously one of the best things i’ve read and has made me just insanely connected to this story. so pls excuse me if this ask is obnoxiously long i’ve got a lot to say 😭🤚🏼

first off lol i just need to get this off my chest but the SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER…IMMACULATE. I GOT TINGLES im so immune to smut since i’ve read sm of it but oh my godd when he said “fuck i cant hold back any longer. let me fuck you already or i’ll cum in my pants” I HAD BUTTERFLIES IN TWO DIFF PLACES FROM THAT🧍🏻‍♀️…also i like how realistic the sex feels,, like it genuinely reads like two adults in this sort of complicated relationship still desiring one another, mature & sexy yet classy at the same time? bravo seriously (also reader getting the lingerie hehehehrhrh)

the way you built the tension throughout the entire chapter regarding satoru’s super mysterious phone calls and his reluctance to share anything w reader. so wonderfully laced into all of the scenes, there was this sense of dread throughout that simmered even during the fluffy scenes and oof it was a wonderful but torturous feeling haha

speaking of fluff- when he keeps mentioning “love” and now marriage!! pls 😭 it came out of nowhere but i feel like his brazenness to say it so soon makes me believe that he really means it if that makes sense?? :”) one of my fave lines from the chapter was

“he was stating it as a fact, something that was a done deal…he’s simply been waiting for you to catch up.”

that has to be one of the most romantic things i’ve EVER read in my life. a chill legit ran through me haha like if that isn’t love!! 🥲 he knew since the beginning </3

thank you for clarifying the thought process behind reader’s doubts in herself. when she said something about how she wonders if she’s cut out for it…oof i felt that. imposter syndrome is SO damn real, especially in medicine, and my fave moment in the whole chapter is when satoru really steps up in that moment as a mentor and says “taking a break isn’t giving up” <3 i totally understand her push back though, it’s hard to shake insecurities built over years

and my god. satoru’s character. i know that he is so troubled and has made mistakes but my heart legitimately ached for him during that conversation with geto. this was the moment where i was like omg this story is something so special bc you tackle the sensitivity of topics such as drug abuse so fucking well.

i used to work at an emergency department and so often we would get patients rolling in w chief complaints of withdrawal, a LOT of the time young patients in their twenties, and it’s really heartbreaking to see because you can never ever fully understand the pain behind someone’s story or change the past, all you can do is try to help them and make them feel better in the present.

i feel so bad for satoru, seriously fuck sukuna for taking advantage of him like that omg give me two mins in a room w that mf and your story is gonna be missing one of its characters 😅

“walls up before anyone gets close, pushing people away because he’s convinced that deep down, he’s broken.”

siggghhh as someone with an avoidant attachment style i so relate to him. i really hope reader can show him the brighter things in life (i mean she’s definitely someone that makes him want to be a better man which is lovely), i look forward to seeing how he opens up more emotionally in the chapters to come.

im so sorry this is getting so fkn long but i simply cannot pass speaking up ab geto?? what an insanely emotionally intelligent character. the way he acts is so consistent, i looove how he’s recognized that maybe satoru’s relationship w reader, despite the forbidden aspects, is something more than just lust and is something deeper than that :”)

“there is no point, neither in life nor death. but you can either cry about the whole meaningless of the world or try to find meaning to it. to do something that gives meaning to life.”

talk about words that no longer feel like part of a story, but literally jump out of the page (err my phone screen? lol) and have you feel them in the reality of your own life. stunning, your writing is just amazing miss lostfractures

also curious if he got sued cuz he punched that student lol 🤔 or maybe it’s related to malpractice

ugh i’m so sorry this was so fucking long but it’s midnight for me rn and i just had so many thoughts while reading the chap i had to share 😭🤞🏼 thank you sm for this story, it goes without saying that i’m SO excited for more 💕💕💕

okay i have no idea where to start but first THANK YOU SO SO MUCH! i feel insanely grateful for you to take the time to write this message, really!!

i'm smiling and giggling like an idiot rn at work omg.

so so glad you like the SMUT, this is always the worst part to write, so i'm relieved it didn't read cringey and made you feel something (i laughed at your comment about the butterflies in TWO SPOTS omg).

can relate. ngl.

and yes the whole marriage part did came out of nowhere but i guess that's just so him, like he's so clumsy with feelings and don't know what to do with them so he's just really messy but also so adorable with it, idk!!! ahhhh

your reactions to the chapter make me SO SO happy, like really, that's all us writers want to achieve, right? to make the reader feel something. so glad i could stir something within you!! <333

& yes you never know what a person might have experienced in his past to it really comes down to being patient and understanding with people, but yeah satoru surely has an avoidant attachment, like SO SO BAD. and that can be so FRUSTRATING.

his past even gets worse in the next chapter, because apparently i can not NOT make him even more miserable.

haha the whole philosophical part at the end was mostly because i read a lot of camus and kafka lately lol. couldn't hold myself back, but i guess that mirrors satoru's existential crisis he goes through, that will be more highlighted in the next chapter.

but like at the same time, he needs someone to put him in his place and the reader is gladly accepting that and is like, I'M SO DONE WITH YOU, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER MAN.

thank you so so much from the bottom of my heart for spending your precious time to read and write this message!! i really don't know how to phrase it how happy this makes me, just imagine myself smiling and crying like an idiot <33

#symptoms and causes #inbox

5 notes · View notes

weebsinstash · 2 years ago

Text

Follow up from this post about The Silent Alpha because wow this is wild (also this posr is long as fuck because i basically just started retelling the plot because it's entirely drama now lol:

-Vanessa is one determined bitch, you have to give her that. She actually gets her hands on black market werewolf venom because Christian refuses to turn her and she's read becoming a werewolf can sometimes heal old injuries and she thinks it can give her her fertility back (also she fucked the guy who sold it to her for a discount)

-Vanessa um. Is actually kind of justified for being the way she is. It's revealed that her and Natalia's parents always heavily favored Natalia for being smarter and more talented to the point Vanessa was just openly insulted. Like it gives us some flashbacks and Vanessa goes to show her mom a good report card, mom throws it on the table "what, you want a medal? You should be making the honor roll every time just like your sister. I didn't leave my country for you to not take advantage of your education" but then Vanessa joins the cheer squad and her mother still has no time for her? Just always comparing her to Natalia? And then you know what happens? Vanessa, needing some praise and recognition, goes to a party and winds up getting roofied and raped by a college boy, and after her experience, which she never even told a single person about btw, it traumatized her and she became sexually promiscuous to "erase every single trace that he ever touched me. Sex became like a transaction to me. It's something i can use to my benefit" LIKE Y'ALL THAT'S LITERALLY TRAUMA? I can't exactly sitting here boiling with rage "oh wait youre telling me the big bad villain is a girl who was neglected in her childhood, raped as a teenager, shoved aside as a young adult, and then had her heart shattered as her love found another? Yeah no I actually want her to have something good come here way at this point" So I can 100% completely genuinely understand how Vanessa became this way.

-being hit with the venom, which was specifically supposed to be Alpha werewolf venom, sends her into a delirious coma (it's during this coma we see these glimpses into her past and it's kind of heartbreaking, it kind of just sounds like all she ever wanted was some recognition and praise) where she's fighting for her life for an undisclosed amount of time but it sounds like she's suffering really vivid out of body experiences of being stuck in pitch blackness and falling into water and. At the end of it all? She sees her wolf, a big beautiful strong wolf! Except the Moon Goddes appears and says PSYCH, bitch this WOULD HAVE been your wolf if you had trusted MY PLAN. I had a wolf and a mate who would have the patience and love for you all picked out and you ruined it girl!

-the moon goddess tells her straight up that, you know what, in fact I'm giving this Alpha wolf to your sister instead since you took her mate from her :) which uhhhh I feel like this raises some consent issues but maybe Natalia is going to ask Zane to turn her this time around and then she gets a wolf? But otherwise if Natalia just wakes up as a wolf someday I feel like that raises some red flags

-Vanessa wakes up and finds out Christian's Beta, Derek, is her mate now that she has a wolf. But he instantly pussies out and rejects her because she's the Luna and is already with Christian (even though Dereks wolf literally says outright 'but christian is just planning to replace her when he finds natalia, why dont we just take our mate? We literally dont even have to reject her dude' But Derek doesnt really want Vanessa after seeing what a snake she is). But like, was he supposed to be her mate the whole time? Why did they never feel the mate bond before? It's kind of a plothole

-Vanessa fucking JETS once Derek rejects her and leaves the room to speak with a nurse, who reveals, hey yo Vanessa is like magically healed and she's pregnant? (Presumably with the rogue werewolf's baby since Christian doesn't sleep with her anymore after finding out about Natalia being pregnant years ago) which btw means Vanessa doesn't even know she's pregnant either

-Derek goes to tell Christian that Vanessa is pregnant and Christiain outright tells Derek to kill Vanessa and the unborn pup "because Dakota is his only heir and Natalia is his true mate" like he's obsessed with getting Natalia back, meanwhile Natalia is rising Zane's dick and Dakota has started calling Zane his dad. Like Christian says straight up "get rid of that pup before Dakota and Natalia come back or so help me--"

-honestly? I feel bad for Vanessa. Yeah she did something really shittty and horrible but I understand it. Christian was actually a genuine source of support for her after a lifetime of being looked down on and she lost him to Natalia? I would kill myself. I find it kind of odd the moon goddess felt the need to say "oh, I had it all planned but you ruined it" like clearly it already wasn't working out? You literally mated Natalia with a piece of shit scumbag who wound up betraying her, was that part of the plan too? Like is the moon goddess implying Vanessa is responsible for Christian's actions and that this sort of scenario never would have happened without Vanessa? That Christian never wouod have cheated? That feels like bullshit and doesn't make Christian take accountability at all? And how long is Vanessa supposed to wait for her happiness, for this oh so sacred plan? She's a grown woman in her twenties, like how long is she supposed to wait. I find it a little um insulting and deflective that the story is framed as Vanessa getting her just desserts when it's like uh, actually she had a pretty valid reason for being bitter and a snake, she was literally put down her entire life. Like she's literally a product of her environment? Was it Vanessa's fault her mom treated her like shit and called her an idiot to her face? And really tbh, how good even is moon goddess' oh so beloved plan if you can. Knock it off track. Spoiler alert but if you can uh change your destiny it's not actually your destiny. So. Idk?

-I'm still real bitter about Vanessa actually. Moon G is like "I'm still going to give you a wolf tho, she isn't much but you can become strong together if you work hard" nd Vanessa's new wolf is like small and brown and pitiful and we don't even hear her speak or learn her name unlike the first wolf who literally spoke up and introduced herself, to be honest I'm not sure if the new brown wolf CAN speak? (Edit: Nevermind, its a plot point that humans cannot speak to their new wolves until they are marked which is lowkey really stupid tbh) And isn't it kind of a punishment for this innocent wolf spirit to be given to Vanessa? Unless the wolf spirit is also on some sort of probation? I actually read another story once where when a werewolf dies they burn the body so the wolf spirit can go back to the moon goddess and be reborn again so idk, maybe these are old spirits or something 🤔

-this is, like, a graphic sex audiobook by the way. They give you the whole menagerie of "cunt, pussy, pussy folds, wet hole, hard cock" there's a queef at one point that becomes a recurring joke, like, some of these stories have no erotic, some of them have tasteful erotic, and some of them get naaaaaaasty, like I think literally the whiplash between chapter 3 is Natalia leaving her pack heartbroken and chapter 4 immediately beginning with having Christian fucking Vanessa in graphic detail like it literally transitions from Natalia being betrayed and heartbroken to Christian nose deep in her sister

-backstabbing pussy Gamma Jordan is sent to find out where Natalia was living and gains the trust of her coworkers to get her number and warn her that Christian is going feral and is coming for her and Dakota, as well as Vanessa being infertile

-Christian contacts motherfucking WITCHES to track Dakota and Natalia down because he's too impatient to wait for Jordan. The witches perform a ritual with blood and Natalia's hairbrush and say the God of Chaos heard their plea and can find his family "for a hefty price"

"I can give you all the money you need"

"No, not money, blood"

"Whose?"

"Your mother's"

-I have to briefly go out of the order of events to bring up that like 10 chapters later, Christian does in fact kill his own mother and it's CHILLING. His mother, Kay, is genuinely scared and worried for him and asks him out for a run. They shift and are running and playing tag and he's remembering his childhood and he's legitimately fucking broken. He and his mother stop and she tells him she just wants to help, that hes sick, and it's emphasized that he's very meek and quiet while he asks "do you really think I'm sick mom ..?" Like he's actually considering some sort of help

Do you remember how before I mentioned that I felt bad for his wolf Jack. No. No. No. JACK IS THE TRUE VILLAIN OF THIS STORY. Christian is literally being held by his crying mother while Jack is going "KILL HER, SHE TOOK YOUR MATE, SHES A LIAR, KILL HER" and I can't remember if Jack takes over or not but, Christian kills his mother and takes her body back to the witches to perform the ritual and btw the main witch basically makes it obvious she's judging the fuck out of him, literally looking him up and down like "so you actually did it" like yeah girl he's clearly fucking crazy

-knowing Christian is coming after her actually gives Natalia the courage to fully devote herself to her own happiness and she tells Zane to mark her THAT NIGHT (which means a lot since she's been refusing to be marked up to this point because of the trauma of Christian. It caused her horrible pain to break the bond and her mark faded in 3 days, so she got legitimately depressed "those years of love and promises, gone in just 3 days. What did it even mean. What was it even for")

-theres a B plot about like Zane's pack and family and how his mother is still alive and there's gonna be a war because one of the werewolf kings is evil, Zane's dad Sebastian killed the wife of one of his enemies, Toren Ravenstone, his enemy responded by killing Zane's mom, who, resurrected while her body was being brought back to Ravenstone for unknown reasons besides "the moon goddess must have had a plan" and she lost her memory and fell in love with the guy trying to get revenge, so Zane finds out not only is his mom alive but is like married to the man who technically killed her, and also that "Mr big evil villain" is actually way nicer and more chill to his mom than his father ever was

-I literally never brought this up because i was waiting for it to like actually be important but ages ago Natalia's witch friend who helped her deliver Dakota was like "just trust me, I need you and Kota to get on a plane, you're in danger, just trust me" and Zane, Natalia, and Dakota were flown to California where Aurora, protagonist of the first book and the Ivory Queen of the werewolves lives. It's been like idk over 20, 30 chapters and we still don't know why Gwen said they needed to come "because i cant tell you yet, just trust me". Like it's keeping them safe from Christian but like we've spent a quarter of the book in this gd palace and we still don't know why, it feels very plot convenience-y, im getting annoyed because at this point Aurora from book 1 is becoming a weird plot device "oh how convenient the protagonist from the first book is our friend now and she's also super cool and powerful"

(Edit, it really still isn't relevant yet. Apparently there's a plot twist that Natalia may not be 100% human and have fae-enchanted blood that protects her species from vampires and guess what emergency Gwen needed them to evacuate for. Vampires. But up to the most current chapter, it doesn't really play any part of the story)

-so the b plot with Zane is a little complicated. He's an Alpha heir but his father is an asshole and cast him out, demoted him to Omega before making him a rogue, and Zane was replaced by another heir and halfsibling, Caine, who HATES him because Caine's mom, well, stereotypical evil slut who came onto Zane who turned her down and she accused him of rape which his father knew wasn't true but let him be punished for anyways. So. Caine finds out he has a brother and he's alive and then finds out it's Zane, the accused rapist, and also hey before even knowing this information, his mom told him straight up "hey, KILL Zane actually? He's after your title as future alpha, you have to secure the right you have earned"

-so, Dakota has a nightmare that is vaguely implied to maybe be a premonition (edit: yeah lmao its later revealed to be actual visions) of "mommy getting hurt by a bad wolf and there was red water all over her" and to console him they try to take him to the park to see the butterflies and GETS SHOT AT, by Caine, who MISSES ZANE because hes a fucking idiot firing a revolver from a moving car, and hits Natalia, which at this point I'm thinking "are they gonna have to turn her to save her life"

-yes and no. While she's in, you know the injury coma, that's when the moon goddess has a chat with her, gives her a wolf and stuff

-in this series, all werewolves have unique gifts, it's some real like MHA Quirk bullshit sometimes. Zane is a mindreader/empath who can share memories and actually like mindcontrol people into obeying him, and other people do things like, turn into sand, create hallucinations, create illusions that can fight, it can be kind of dumb lmao kinda just reminding me of the werewolf alpha Bakugou x Reader thing I wanna write lol

-Zane's wolf Grayson doesn't fuck around fighting with Caine (Natalia isnt turned until after the fight so he's worried she's dying and can feel that she is through the bond). "Take that revolver and let's play Russian Routlette" except, you know, not taking the gun from him, using the mind control powers to make him pull the trigger until Caine is dead

-Natalia loses consciousness and enters this kind of dream where she thinks she's dead and her exact reaction is to be sad she can't be with Zane and Dakota anymore but "she can rest knowing her son had a father that will raise him with love" like she loves both of them so much 🥺❤️ like she actually thinks of that and it brings her so much peace she basically accepts her death like I'm crying?? What the fuck??? She's falling through the same black nothingness, breaking away into blue skies, and then falling into water and having to swim to the surface and finding herself in the middle of the lake with a voice calling her to the shore. And guess what. This is the exact same fever dream Vanessa had when she turned

-yeah, Natalia meets a silver wolf who takes her to the moon goddess herself. She doesn't realize who she's talking to amd basically tells her straight up she doesn't believe in fate, she makes her own fate, and moon goddess kind of drags out actually introducing herself. All wolves, the ones werewolves have at least, are vessels filled with souls and love created by the moon goddess personally. She basically handcrafts every wolf and every mate to every person's destiny and Natalia's just like "why did you let Christian hurt me then, I loved him and trusted him, and I trusted YOU" and reads her for filth and asks why she can't just leave her alone

-honestly moon goddess kind of personally encapsulates the pompous holy figure attitude "I do the best I can" fake apology bullshit that makes religion really crawl under my skin. She says she can try and teach the wolves but humans have free will and she can't control everything but like... her apology, which isn't an apology, is more self pitying about how it hurts her as a mother to see wolves suffer. She picked Natalia for Jack because she thought it would balance Jack's temper out (oh so Natalia has to be sacrificed to fix Jack's fucking problems???) but also she KNEW Christian was flawed and hoped he would change, and she also expected Jack to help protect the mate bond which he didn't, so im just sitting here like, why would you even create this sort of mate bond system if it is so flawed and easy to go wrong. Why are you dragging HUMANS into this if you're supposed to be the werewolves god.

-also it should be noted that she is apparently specifically the moon goddess from Greek mythology because they later bring up the goddess of night being her mother, and also the God of chaos and, basically there are multiple gods

Like ok. Look at it this way. Moon Goddess is kind of playing matchmaker but she doesn't know the eventual outcome. But she's also. Implementing soul magic bullshit which can literally manipulate your thoughts and feelings and then saying "oh but I can't keep things from going wrong, I can ONLY SLIGHTLY ROB YOU OF FREE WILL" like, you're basically kidnapping and brainwashing people and playing sanctimonious about it??? You're kind of forcing people to fall in love and then saying "oh sorry I made it where you literally feel like incredible lightning when you touch and even looking at him makes your brain mass produce dopamine but he turned out to be an abusive prick who never respected you, lmao my bad, let me give you another attempt at a mate as my apology" like no leave me alone actually? You're creepy? The mate bond has HORROR MOVIE potential???

-apparently there's a mandatory dress code in this magical dream world, which I'm theorizing is the moon goddess' realm, because both Vanessa and Natalia find themselves wearing white dresses in these dreams, and in book 1 Aurora had dreams where she entered a realm and wore white dresses but I can't go into that without spoiling some of book 1 💀

-after Natalia wakes up and spills what the MG told her, and mentions that the moon goddess mentioned her wolf was blessed by the goddess of night, the moon goddess' mother, and, Aurora investigates and goes to get Gwen who would know more about rhe Night Mother and, apparently Natalia is probably something called a Latum human, which is a human with special blood that was once enchanted by a fae to protect his human lover from vampires drinking their blood and basically created a new race of demihumans and Natalia is just now finding out she's not 100% "home grown organic human" and that even her wolf is unusual

-GIIIIIRL Natalia's wolf is a SLUT but like we get it. Her and Zane are marking each other because the b plot about Zanes old pack means he kinda lowkey has to go to war, and her wolf, Davina, is talking to Grayson, and he's all tongue-tied, and she says "do you not like my mark?"

"Well, y-yeah"

"Then why aren't I cumming yet?" And "This clit isn't going to lick itself" GIIIIRRRLLLLLL

-so anyways, Christian brings the now dead Kay back to the witches, his father is blowing up his phone because he "can't feel his mate" and can't find her and he's freaking out, he has no idea she's dead, and Christian is just emotionless like "wow I can't believe I did that. At least I get Natalia and Dakota back" meanwhile Jack has absolutely no remorse. So the witches complete the ritual and summons the God of Chaos, because, apparently, Kay's blood wasn't for the job itself, it was just to summon the God who will help, who communicates by possessing one of the witches

-the chaos God is a troll and is totally off their rocker. He's gonna help Christian but there's a new price now to actually DO the thing, and Chaos asks "what are you willing to give". Jack speaks up from inside of Christian and says "ANYTHING"

-MOTHERFUCKING CHAOS, this goddamn TROLL, takes JACK HIMSELF, PUTS HIM IN A MAGIC ROCK LIKE A POKEMON. Tells Christian "I took your wolf, bring your son and the medallion he will be wearing back to me by midnight or you'll NEVER get him back" and gives Christian the Jack-rock to hold onto. But also lmao, guess how he helps Christian find Natalia and Dakota. Touches his forehead and bro starts hearing VOICES who start trolling him but also telling him directions like they're basically like "turn right, MOMMYKILLER. You MOMMYKILLER, NEENER NEENER" like lmao they actually start driving him insane

-I shit you not, I shit you not, Christian is occasionally hallucinating because of the voices and looks at this hallucination of Dakota and Natalia that suddenly manifested in the backseat of his car and fake-Nat is cryiny and he thinks "for once I actually want to comfort her" bitch, what do you MEAN 'for ONCE'???? SO YOU BASICALLY DIDNT EVEN LIKE HER THAT MUCH ANYWAYS???? EVEN BEFORE SHE COULDNT CONCEIVE????

With every passing chapter that reveals what an even bigger piece of shit Christian is, I can't help but wonder how the moon goddess could have fucked up THIS badly, like now that Natalia is gone he is obsessed but even when reflecting on the past he acknowledges that he was basically ALWAYS a bastard to her.

-fucking loser ass Christian does all this shit to get his family back and you know what happens? He kidnaps Dakota from a play center and he doesn't even have a car seat for him, so he's laying Kota flat in the seat and buckling him in while the voices are literally jeering "child endangerment! We've got father of the year over here!" Which, agreed! You can kill your own mom but not get your toddler a car seat? idiot!!

-Christian takes the medallion back to Chaos and oh my god this guy's hilarious. He's like "oh yeah, to get your wolf back, just smahs the rock he's contained in and call out to him" and Christian is just like "wait do you mean I could have gotten him back at any time" and Chaos is like "LOL YEAH I WAS JUST FUCKING WITH YOU" LMAOOOOOO

-oh my god. Oh my gosh. I never saw this twist coming and its actually SO GOOD. Actually kind of scary too. Christian is calling out to Jack, and he just hears growling and laughing? And then??? JACK TAKES FULL CONTROL. CHRISTIAN GETS ACTUALLY FUCKING BODY SNATCHED, HIS SUBCONCIOUS THROWN INTO A MENTAL CAGE, AND JACK SAYS HE IS NEVER LETTING HIM OUT EVER AGAIN. Christian LITERALLY cannot do anything anymore, it's all Jack, in full control, and now that he has Dakota, he's coming for his Natalia, his mate, his Tiny

And that's kind of where the story is so far, with the side character who was babysitting Dakota, Agnes, being unconscious because Christian roofied her and is unable to tell Natalia that Dakota has been taken, meanwhile Zane is literally on an island in Ravenstone territory fighting CHEMICAL WARFARE with his father's pack. Definitely a nail biting cliffhanger and I hope there aren't too many more chapters to go 😩

#weebreviews #villain had me cheering and pumping my fist while also going oh shit this is absolutely the worst possible scenario lmao #weebwolves

7 notes · View notes

couthbbg · 11 months ago

Note

Hey, Jem, merry Christmas/happy holidays! I just had a KrisErik brainwave out of nowhere, do with it what you will.

So, what if Kris and Erik got together at the 2011 All Star Game (they were team mates too!), and were together for six years, Erik breaking things off in the heat of the moment after the 2017 Eastern Final, leading to mutual heartbreak for a while.

Then, they get back together casually at the 2019 ASG, having to negotiate the distance, but nothing is serious. However, Erik is doing all he can to get back east somehow.

When Erik finally arrives in Pittsburgh, he's desperate to get back into Sid and Geno's good books, hence the overtures. But, like, him and Kris have been lowkey back together for years now. But, no one on the team knows yet.

Sid and Geno find out when they go to Kris' place, and find Erik there with him, seemingly moved in. Bonus points if Sid and Geno are the last ones to figure it out.

Oh my godd this ask has been on my mind all day in the best way ! I really want to write a fic about this and I’m gonna, but I write really slowly 😭 so I’m gonna post this now so other kriserik club friends can maybe get inspired too 💙💙💙 let’s do our part for the fics !!!

Also merry Christmas, lovely !! I hope you had the best day 🩷💘💞 thank you for sending me your kriserik thoughts, I want to hear everything kriserik, always 🩷

#asks #fic ideas #erikris

1 note · View note

twisted-tales-told · 1 year ago

Note

hi i am here to talk about one of my favourite movies that nobody knows about so sit down, get some popcorn and enjoy

okay so there’s this french movie called jeux d’enfants or love me if you dare and it’s basically the story of these two ppl sophie and julien who meet as kids and start playing this kids game that’s basically a dare game so they have this like tin that they pass back and forth when they have a dare and growing up they become best friends and they’re always daring each other to do stupid things that get them in trouble and the older they get the bolder the dares become and there’s this whole will they won’t they thing going on bc they both obviously like each other but neither one does anything about it and so as adults their dares become more and more dangerous and they keep almost getting together but things always get in the way and at one point sophie goes something like “i need you to tell me that you actually love me bc i’m afraid you’re just doing this as a dare” and it’s so heartbreaking and i just love it ugh i actually really wanna turn it into a wolfstar au😭

okay thank you for coming to my ted talk pls watch it if you can find it (it’s a bit old now i think) it’s really nice!! and the ending is… quite interesting… 👀

OH MY GODD THIS LOOKS SO GOOD

Okay yes this is first on my list after bladerunner (have to watch this for school)

#film recs #Kat tag

6 notes · View notes

zorkaya-moved · 2 years ago

Text

THAT CHOICE!! IN NIGHTBRINGER!! WHERE YOU CHOOSE TO EITHER KISS OR HUG THE PAST MAMMON!!! ZARINA WANTS TO KISS MAMMON SO BAD BUT THIS IS NOT [HER] MAMMON AND LIKE!!! THE REASON SHE HUGS HIM IS SO HE WON'T SEE HOW THERE IS SO MUCH LONGING AND EMOTION IN HER EYES!!! AND LIKE!! OH MY GODD

because he'll see. he'll ask. and she doesn't have the strength in herself at that moment to explain anything. why does she look at him with so much adoration/warmth when they just met? why does she care for him so much? why does she smile so sweetly at him? HOW do you explain that without saying that he's the most important person in her life where she came from? from the 'future' for him but 'present' for her. it's impossible. and she hugs him to silence her own longing too. just for a moment to feel the familiar warmth and then once again step back.

she misses her first man, her first demon, her one and only love. her priceless mammon. she knows this person is mammon but he's not hers and she must keep a certain distance but when he does all of those things she's just reminded of her time with ariel's mammon and she's just ... suffering from longing. her heart misses him.

and when she's back, she hands-down proposes (if not already lmao) but also isn't letting go for hours. mammon will get all the kisses, hugs, words. she just might cry from how happy she is to see him again. and zarina crying? this woman of power and authority? listen. it'll be heartwarming but also heartbreaking.

#❄ ― OUT OF CHARACTER. ╱ fun time’s passing by like river’s flow.#thanks ariel im sobbing even more now

2 notes · View notes

earthtooz · 2 years ago

Note

OH MU GODD EARTH ITS BEEN LONG HELP I KNOW THIS IS OVER EXGRRARSTING!!?! EXGREATEDIMH OH GODJN!!! 😭 MY PHONE FELL INTO A DRAIN AND I HAD TO WAIT TO BUY A NEW ONE HELPPP💔 my silly ass forgot my tumblr acc pass and was devasted that I couldn’t get on tumblr BUTTT!! ITS ALL GOOD NOWW !!! ANYWAYSSS HRU?? HOPE UR DOING GREAT BTWW

*taking notes immediately and pulls up Pinterest for ideas on drawing rin with you* 🤭🤭🤭 !!! wowwieee!!! *scrolling through the silly Pinterest app* !!!

giggling and kickin my feet while reading your fics are part of my routine now !!! I love your works sm I hope you get enough rest Like??? Is your back not heavy from carrying the fandoms you write about?? take care earth !!!🙏🙏 remember to eat, drink and pee !!!

— 🫶

MY BELOVED 🫶 ANON !! WELCOME !!

help the chaos of every ask u send 😭😭 SO REFRESHING !!! you can never catch a break can you... like... the phone... what... (L), wait but like is ur bank account okay bc of the new phone 😟😟😟 I HOPE IT DIDN'T COST TOO MUCH 😨😨 BUT HEY AT LEAST YOU'RE HERE, WELCOME BACK MY FRIEND TO THE DARK SIDE OF THE INTERNET !!!!

YOU DON'T NEED TO ACTUALLY DRAW ME AND RIN, i mean like... if you want to... 😁😁😁 i'm not stopping you 😁😁😁 BUT I'LL FEEL BAD, YOU GENUINELY DON'T NEED TO WASTE TIME AND EFFORT ON ME UNLESS YOU WANT TO !!!!!!! you should exert your creative liberty and free will however you want to 💪

ALSO YOU WERE EXCITED FOR THE FAKE LOVE EDITION WITH REO AND KAISER RIGHT??? well bc you're my favourite (real, all of my anons are favourites of the earthtooz blog), you get a little snippet MWAHAHAH.

“reo, please, leave me alone,” you request with a shaky voice, trying to get out of his grip with no success.

“i can’t, not when you’re like this,” he protests, “deep breaths, y/n, come back to me.”

a few moments of silence pass by, allowing you to return to your senses as reo holds your hands to his heart, stroking your skin with his thumb. no longer overwhelmed and suffocated by your thoughts, it’s hard to look your boyfriend in the eye, cowering away from his gaze.

“what’s the matter?” he asks gently, pressing a hand against your cheek delicately. it’s warm. you want to melt into him.

“it’s- i, i had a really- you know what, nevermind,” you murmur, shaking your head, turning your back against reo as you pull your hands away from his.

you miss the expression of heartbreak that appears on his pretty face.

anyways hope u enjoyed i think that was like 100/2000 words LOL

also you are too kind :[ like pls stop flattering me i don't deserve this level of praise 😫😫 OKAY WAIT LET ME BE REAL - MY BACK HURTS ALL THE TIME BC OF MY POSTURE WHILST WRITING... I'M LIKE HUNCHED OVER, TYPING FURIOUSLY WITH NO END IN SIGHT BC I AM DETERMINED TO FINISH !!!!

GOODBYE 🫶 ANON, TILL NEXT ASK YOU LITTLE FIRE CRACKER

#*ੈ✩‧₊˚ constellation: 🫶 anon #earf's favourites (real)#every ask i receive from you is a journey from start to finish pls never change

3 notes · View notes

sunshinekryze · 11 months ago

Text

OH MY GODD OBSESSED WITH THIS

BECAUSE WHAT IF WOLFWREN WAS A SAPPHIC HEARTBREAK

Since I heard this song I can't stop thinking about them

107 notes · View notes

cassianandfenrysaremyboyos · 3 years ago

Note

What's your favorite moments from Blood and Ash?

Ok I love this question but it's also one of the hardest asks I've ever had to answer because how HOW do I narrow it down!!! I'm just going to do the first book because otherwise this post is gonna be as long as the books themselves lol!

The Red Pearl scene! Just an all round A+ first meeting. Poppy freezing up and going along with it because "oh no he's hot, and oh god he's taking his shirt off look at his abs" The "you should get off" "I was planning to" innuendo. Poppy thinking about how she feels "safe" with Hawke right from the start. Hawke feeling "contentment" being around Poppy, oh the signs, the signs that their heartmates, I cry. And the Hawke pov where he's like how sloshed was I the last time I was with the owner of this cloak because I do not remember their body being like this??!! And when he removes Poppy's hood and is like HOLY SHIT IT'S THE MAIDEN!! And when Poppy says hi and he's like that was... cute!!! 💓😄💖😄💓

The rise scene! Everything about it is *chefs kiss* The tension™ so much tension! Poppy trying to play it cool and not reveal who she is. Hawke knowing the WHOLE time and letting her sweat. The fighting, the banter, their bodies pressed up together and Hawkes thigh between Poppy's legs 🙄 Poppy throwing the dagger at him. Him loving it. The "I came back for you that night". And of course this scene gave us the iconic "you're an absolutely stunning murderous little creature". One of my fave scenes in the whole series!

Hawkes first day guarding Poppy where they're in the atrium and Davena and Loren are talking about the dark one being hot and you just know Hawke can hear them and is trying not to smirk. And Tawny being like "what are you going to do about him?" And Poppy all confused being like "the dark one??" And Tawnys like no Hawke! The blatent foreshadowing! And then they turn around and he's standing right there! And this is the scene where Casteel finds out Poppy's nickname and they start counting how many times he says it.

The scene immediately after the rise scene when Hawke confronts her in her room. Again just great banter and tension. Poppy stamping her foot and Hawke being like did that help? And them both realising what Poppy's wearing and Hawke giving her THAT roving look. But also I like that they start to talk and open up to each other a little bit in this scene.

When they're in the corridor and Casteel talks about his brother and Poppy touches his hand and takes his pain away and he doesn't know she's doing it. It's just soft. And it's made better knowing that later when Hawke finds out he says it was the best he's slept in ages.

The library ledge scene. Again the banter, the chemistry. The first apperance of the diary A+ for all.

The Willow. Enough said. Actually I'll just add this quote “I was seconds from taking you to the ground and becoming a very, very bad guard.” UGH

The Blood forest. When Hawke's talking about what he wants to do but is like we can't do that tonight "Because if I get any part of me in you, every part of me would be in you, and I want to hear every sound you make when that happens." Again UGH

The first night in New Haven for obvious reasons 👀 And again I'm adding a quote "I know my limitations, I know that I’m not a good enough man to remember my duty and yours or that I’m so incredibly unworthy of you it should be a sin. Even knowing that, there is no way I wouldn’t strip that robe from you and do exactly what I told you I’d do when we were in the forest. I’m not just going to hold you. I won’t stop at kissing you. My fingers won’t be the only thing inside you. My need for you is far too great, Poppy. If I stay, you will not walk out this door the Maiden." OHH MYY GODD 🔥🔥🔥 And don't even get me started on the "promise me you won't forget this... whatever happens tomorrow... you won't forget that this was real"

The following morning in the stables where Poppy realises Hawke's betrayal. This scene has everything, fighting, banter, betrayal, heartbreak. You really feel Poppy's confusion and pain. And I love the way she just goes absolutely feral at Hawke. Like yes girl he deserves it. Her trying to knee Hawke in the groin and him going "you'd be sad if I couldn't use it later" asdgjkkhf he's so annoying! (in the best way) But also so frustrating because he's just betrayed her and broken her heart (her looking down at her chest to see if there's a dagger in it because it hurts so much 😭) and he has the audacity to joke around after what he's done! And you know that he knows that he's hurt her and that he hates that he's hurt her, and he's just doing it to try keep the mood light and show her that he's still the teasing Hawke she knows, but you still feel so bad for Poppy.

The scene after Poppy gets stabbed and Hawke's so worried and is like Poppy please open your eyes please! And Poppy goes "it hurts" and he misundetstands and thinks she's talking about herself, but she means him. He hurts seeing her hurt 💔 My heart 😭. And also the part before this in the cells, when Delano gently nudges her with his nose and Kieran picks her up and carries her to rush her to Casteel. My Wolven boys already protecting and looking after her 😭 the first signs of what's to come.

Poppy stabbing Hawke in the heart. How could I not include this scene. The whole "oh my goddd whattt did she do!!" moment the first time you read it. Even though you know he's not gonna die, you're still like how... what... how... because you don't know yet that Atlantians can't die from being stabbed in the heart, so you're trying to like rationalise it in your mind, like ok she must have missed his heart because I know he's not going to die but how could he survive that?! And Hawke going "you're crying". She just stabbed him in the heart and he's worried she's crying 💔 And Poppy being like "I'm sorry I'm sorry" and Hawke banging his hand on the ground and letting out a choked laugh like "no you're not." The drama of it all.

And then immediately following that in the forest 👀 The way they go from Poppy being so angry at Hawke she stabs him, to them banging in the snow, and them being all soft and Poppy taking his pain, all in a matter of minutes! These two are all about the extreme 180's. I can only imagine what everyone in the keep thought when they saw Casteel saunter back in from the snowy forest shirtless, carrying the maiden who's wearing his shirt, her pants all ripped and a bite mark on her neck.

And lastly of course "We go home to marry, my Princess" Because what a great cliffhanger/last line.

#from blood and ash #fbaa #poppycas #poppy balfour #hawke flynn #casteel da'neer #I'm sorry this took me so long to answer anon #but as you can see it got longggg lol #asks #long post #i probably should of put this under a cut but I'm on my phone soz #i literally think i just described the whole book haha

110 notes · View notes

rinoomi · 3 years ago

Note

OH OH! And the fact that he knew it was the reader calling! like he could tell all this fucking time that the reader was the one watching them above the court, but still played it off saying that he wasn't miya atsumu hahahahha and then immediately turning to look at her just to prove his point that he knew that she was stalking him this entire time LMAO loolol but man, that confession scene... as sweet as that was, omg how heartbreaking it became right afterwards rfsdjkfd the fic was so good

same same hahahah, sometimes you're just not in the mindset of wanting to read the ones you've marked for later uwu after all there are so much out there you kinda wanna indulge in all lololol these writers are so good gdurfjd (also im always tempted to read works i've already read hahaha)

YES GOD I'M SOO ATTACHED TO THIS FIC🤧 it just felt soo real? and I think I sobbed at all the chapters haru was in,, that part hit too close to home aaaaa godd I remember this one scene when they were kids and had climbed this tree and atsumu kept pointing at the horizon saying how he could see the tokyo tower from up there and the reader just believed him? pls that was soo fkin cute😭😭

no fr exactly!! I wanna start some long fics but my attention span has decreased sm lately,, I keep getting distracted 🥲 I can't get thru one chapater without taking a break </3

#chats with fir ☕︎#guest: minnie #THE WAY WE REMEMBER THE ENTIRE FIC?! 😭

4 notes · View notes

almostfoxglove · 3 months ago

Text

OH MY GOD this destroyed me (in the best way)!! what a gut-wrenching twist and so many what ifs :,,) I love the POV switch part way through, and the little drops of canon you sprinkled in alongside Sunny's backstory - they felt so natural and real!

some of my favorite bits below the cut, but ahhhhh I'm wrecked :,)

"How chivalrous of you, Agent Pike," you sang out. "I'll be back by sunset the latest. Send the hounds if I'm not."

It was a joke, but unsurprisingly the lines over your partner's brows etched in a little deeper. Worried at just the idea of you not coming back. It was sweet, considering you'd only been partners for four months. He'd just moved to the capital on a promotion.

Maybe that meant you were friends.

I LOVE THEIR BANTER - coworkers to friends to what ifs is just so juicy and this whole start was so fun! and made the end that much more cutting :,)

It was autumn, after all, your favorite season. The air was crisp but not quite yet cold enough for you to bother with a jacket, and most of the trees were at the height of flaunting their bright, colorful leaves. In less than a month most of them would fall away, their remains scattered by the wind, leaving the branches bare, exposed, until the trees resurrected in the spring.

this is just so beautiful - I love the imagery here, it's so rich and vivid. 'most of the trees were at the heigh of flaunting their bright, colorful leaves' is just delicious. FLAUNTING. I love it. chef's kiss

"What's stopping you then?" you questioned.

"Lately, you," he answered without really thinking.

the GASP that left me here :,) oh my godd

Would you have woken up late, tangled in the sheets with him instead of being outside to face the secret partner of the illegal art dealer alone? Would he have harmlessly stolen back the painting hidden under the rear seat of the SUV instead of stealing your life?

IS 11AM TOO SOON TO CRY BECAUSE I MIGHT CRY what the FUCK this is so painful and good and ruining I need a second to lie on the floor :,)

this was such a wonderful read - even with the heartbreak - thank you SO much for sharing it and participating in the challenge <33

The Shot Not Taken

Pairing: Marcus Pike x F!Reader (Nickname "Sunny")

Summary: It was one last night in a cabin after a case; it wasn't supposed to end this way

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 3,400(ish)

Warnings: Sexual tension, yearning, violence, fairly graphic mentions of blood, angst, tragedy - Might be AUish since I don't know what time of year Marcus actually moved to D.C.

Author's Note: I wrote this for @almostfoxglove 's Angst Challenge, and I almost made myself cry, so prepare yourselves. (Moodboard was made by them)

xxx

"You wanna quit while you're ahead, Pike?" you questioned, a smirk on your face. "Before I take what's left of your cash?"

"You're bluffing," he said warily, his dark eyes peering over his hand of cards to where you sat across the table. "There's no way you're that lucky. You've already won five rounds tonight."

"Don't get mad at me when you can't afford breakfast tomorrow."

He flashed you a wicked smile as he placed his hand on the table. "Somehow I doubt that'll be the case." He nodded at his cards. "Four of a kind."

You glanced down to see that he indeed had four aces. You chuckled, surprising him. "Weak."

You dropped your cards on the table revealing that you had the ultimate hand. "Royal flush."

He groaned. "What the hell, Sunny?"

"If it makes you feel better, I'll share my breakfast with you tomorrow," you promised. "Now hand over the money."

A thin smile broke through his look of disbelief. "You should've been nicknamed Lucky instead of Sunny. I'm never playing poker with you again."

"Aw, but you just paid my rent for the month," you teased.

"Exactly."

He reached for his bottle of beer and took a sip before throwing the cash he owed you onto the center of the kitchen table. "I'm bailing before I can't afford my rent."

You pretended to pout but couldn't keep up the act for long. You were nicknamed Sunny for a reason. You hardly ever were in a bad mood. There wasn't much that could keep your spirits down. Which was a good thing, considering your job as an FBI agent for the art crimes department in Washington D.C. involved some very long hours and carried plenty of risk when out in the field.

"Chicken," you declared as you pushed your chair away from the table. "Fine. I wanted to go for a walk before it got too dark outside anyway."

Pike nodded at you as you sprung to your feet. "I'll pick up the cabin while you're out."

"How chivalrous of you, Agent Pike," you sang out. "I'll be back by sunset the latest. Send the hounds if I'm not."

Maybe that meant you were friends.

When he'd first been paired up with you Marcus Pike had been reserved around you, almost like he was afraid to become friends with you.

You'd been secretly hurt by it because he was fine with almost everyone else. His cheerfulness almost rivaling your own at times. He was one of the most good-natured agents you'd ever met, but he was quiet around you. Not necessarily cold, but strictly professional.

You'd wondered if someone had hurt him and if you reminded him of them somehow. He seldom mentioned his final months in Texas to anyone.

You'd thought you were reaching before Marcus came around, because he seemed as married to his work as you were, but your superior had revealed to you at a work party that Marcus had requested for his ex fiancée to have a job at the capital too but she'd never shown up. Marcus had simply told him they'd broken up.

"I doubt you'll need to," you assured him. "Last I checked the case is closed so no stolen art dealers should be stalking these woods. We cuffed our guy last night. Only possible danger out there now is bigfoot."

Marcus huffed. "I have a feeling you're more likely to run into a black bear. Not as many bigfoot sightings in upper New York as there are in the northwest."

You grinned. "Good thing I'm good at intimating anything bigger than me." You patted the holster on your hip. "And my gun's right here for backup."

You fled the cabin you'd been stuck in for most of the past month while you were working on your latest case and headed out on the dirt trail alongside the lake that bordered the back of the property.

There were trees on either side of the path, but you were close enough to the lake's border to be able to see the water the whole time you strolled along it.

It didn't take you long to settle into the peace that nature often brought you. You loved the city life, all the things you could do instead of being bored, but every once in a while it was nice to get away.

You couldn't really count one evening before your flight back to D.C. as a "get away" but you'd take what you could get before your next assignment.

Though it wasn't quite yet jacket weather, there was enough of a breeze to compel you to slip on the sweater that you'd tied around your waist on the way out along with the fingerless gloves that had been stuffed into its only pocket.

It's perfectly pleasant out with the extra layer on, and you enjoy every second of the rest of your time in the woods. The loss of light from the setting sun was the only real reason you eventually wanted to turn back. After a raven startled you with its call you decided it was time to return to the cabin before your paranoia got the better of you.

You'd never liked being in the woods at night.

You didn't immediately go back inside the cabin though. Instead you chose to plop yourself down on a massive rock by the edge of the lake and watch the sun as it set.

It was so calming to observe that you zoned out and didn't hear Marcus approaching until he was already sliding onto the rock with you.

He offered you a green mug that clearly contained coffee, its smell filling your nostrils almost as soon as you'd spotted it in his massive hands.

"Decafe, milk only?" you asked. You hated drinking caffeine after six o'clock. You always tossed and turned in bed after.

"Of course."

You accepted the mug from him and tested it. It wasn't bad for cheap home brewed coffee from the local gas station and Marcus had got the ratio of milk right.

He was good with details even outside work.

"It's quiet out here," he noted, pleased.

"A little too quiet at this time of day," you told him. "The day animals are going to sleep and the night ones are just starting to get up. We're in the between."

"Spending time out here has got me thinking," he confessed. "I think I'm going to search for a cabin in Virginia when I get back. It would give me a place to unwind, a place where I don't hear an engine roaring and tires screeching every minute of the day. Would be good for the kids too when I have some someday."

You glanced at him, stunned by his casual mention of wanting to start a family someday. He'd never mentioned it before, but there he was beside you, a wistful look in his eyes, probably imagining his hypothetical future children playing in a lake similar to the one in front of you, splashing each other relentlessly or something as he watched them from the shoreline.

You couldn't help but shake your head at that. It wasn't meant for his eyes, but he noticed anyway.

"What?"

"Nothing," you mumbled, adverting your gaze from his handsome face.

"Tell me."

You shook your head. "It's nothing you'll want to hear. I don't want to ruin your night. Besides, it's none of my business."

"Tell me anyway," he insisted.

You sighed, not wanting to give in but knowing you were going to anyway. "It's just...we're both on the border of forty and we're on the wrong end of a gun at least once a month. The picket fence with the spouse and the two-point-five kids? That's not for us. We're not normal. This isn't normal. This isn't the way normal people live, Marcus."

"Plenty of other agents have families," he pointed out.

"And their families wait with baited breath every day until they come home," you reminded him. "And sometimes there's no relief. Sometimes their spouse, their parent, never comes back home."

It was Marcus' turn to sigh. "This is about your dad."

Your father had been an FBI agent too, in the National Security branch. You'd been only eleven years old when he was shot to death with twelve rounds by the suspect he'd been chasing down in the middle of the city.

"It's not fair to do that to anyone Marcus," you told him. "That's why I'm still single. Why I refuse to get married. It was that or get a desk job, and that's not me. But maybe, if you really want a family, a desk job is what you need. If you have a family, you should commit to them fully."

You were sure he'd be upset with you for everything you'd just said, but instead of getting defensive he scratched the top of his left arm and nodded.

"I've actually been thinking about that lately. The promotion's already given me more of a taste of what it would be like being in the office more often than not, and it doesn't disagree with me. Honestly, I think I'm over my risk taking days."

"What's stopping you then?" you questioned.

"Lately, you," he answered without really thinking.

You startled and stared at him. You noticed he was looking at you in a completely new way, or maybe you were waking up to something in his expression that had always been there. "What?"

"I didn't want to make our partnership a problem, but I also don't want to transfer without you knowing," he continued.

"Knowing what?" You were in complete disbelief. You already knew what he was going to say.

"I care about you, Sunny." He said your nickname so softly. "I want you. Have since we met. Tell me you feel the same."

They were bold words but you found yourself drawn towards him anyway, your lips crashing into his.

You had been yearning for him too. He was your friend, the best partner you'd had in a long time, and he was pretty to boot. You may have already had several dreams about kissing him like this...and more.

Despite all that, you pushed him away when he tried to deepen the kiss, as he cupped your jaw. "The picket fence isn't my ending, Marcus. I don't ever want a desk job. I don't want kids. You deserve someone who shares your dreams. I'm one night stand material, nothing more."

"That's alright," he said so surely the words made your stomach flutter.

You knew him better than that though. "No, it's not," you refuted. "You're not one night stand material, Pike, or else you'd be a lot more relaxed than you are lately. Have you ever slept with a woman you didn't love before? No matter how briefly you'd known each other?"

He stayed silent, answering your question.

You hopped off the rock for his sake, not wanting to be another of his relationships that ended in disappointment, and headed for the cabin to get in some extra hours of sleep.

There was nothing left to say. You couldn't be who Marcus needed you to be and you'd both get hurt if you gave into your lustful desires.

You dreamed of him in vivid detail that night.

The next morning Marcus stirred to the sound of slamming doors through the kitchen window, which he guessed you must've cracked open while going through your morning routine as you usually did during warmer weather.

You were the one making the ruckus, already packing your belongings into the black government issued SUV you'd been assigned while on the case.

After a bathroom break Marcus smoothed down his sleep mussed hair and headed for the kitchen where you'd left out a cup of caffeinated coffee you'd brewed for him after pouring yourself one. His lips quirked upward as he thought about your kindness and he snatched the cup up so he could take a sip. The coffee was on the cooler side of hot, but that was exactly how he preferred it.

You had gotten to know each other quite well during the few months you'd known each other, much more than just your coffee preferences. But he'd caught feelings for you early on, before that, despite not wanting to. Realizing he liked you had been a painful revelation. The last thing he'd wanted was another workplace romance, not even a month after his last had ended poorly.

He had tried to keep you at an arm's length at first, but that hadn't worked out. You'd seemed hurt by it, and that had eventually broken his resolve.

He'd tried to be satisfied with your friendship, but as soon as he could call you a friend, he'd started dreaming at night about you being more than that.

He'd thought maybe, just maybe sleeping with you would've been enough, but you were also right. He wasn't one night stand material. He'd never had casual sex in his life. There were always feelings attached to it.

And you wanted different lives. Like his last girlfriend, you were simply just not meant to be his.

That hadn't stopped him from restlessly tossing and turning in his bed the night before. Thinking about that kiss. How needy your response to his confession had been. How soft your lips had felt against his.

The memory began to make him aroused and he had to shift in his spot by the kitchen sink to get more comfortable.

Think of anything else, Pike.

He focused on the view through the window, a fog carpeting the rocky shores of the lake that cool, sunny morning. He was a city guy at heart, but he'd meant what he'd said the night before. It would be nice to get a cabin and spend some time in nature once in a while. It would be therapeutic.

He'd lost himself in the sight before him when two overlapping gunshots broke the peaceful morning.

Marcus jumped into action, scrambling for his work appointed glock and charging outside to the driveway with little thought for his own safety.

He froze when he turned the corner to the back of the cabin and his eyes found you slumped against the back end of the SUV, the trunk still raised, open.

You were wide-eyed, gasping for air, shaking, and you were holding your left hand over a dark patch of blood that was expanding alarmingly fast over your white tank top on the mid-left side of your chest. Your right hand still had a white-knuckled grip on your gun.

Marcus' heart nearly stopped at the sight. He barely noticed the body of the man laying only a few feet in front of you as he raced to your side to help you.

"Shit, Sunny," he hissed as he added pressure to your bullet wound with one of his own hands.

You coughed, and when you responded you sounded weak and pained. "It's bad." You looked scared.

Marcus brushed your cheek with the back of his hand comfortingly. "Shhh...save your strength."

He slipped his hand into the front right pocket of your jeans where he knew you always kept your cell phone and dialed 911. He later wouldn't be able to recall exactly what he'd told the emergency operator, only that he'd given them enough details to get the paramedics there fast.

"Hang on, Sunny," he murmured when he got off the phone. "They're on their way."

He was in complete denial of what was happening in front of him. If he hadn't been he'd have written you off as already dead. Because you basically were. You'd lost far too much blood. The bullet had most likely nicked a part of your heart. You were fading fast. Your eyes already falling.

"Marcus," you somehow managed to croak out. "Promise me you won't give up. You keep...looking for someone...to share that cabin with."

He shook his head at you, feeling desperate. "No."

"Please," you begged.

"Fine," he said, "But you're gonna have to be my wing woman. Keep me from moving too quick."

You almost managed a chuckle before the last of your strength slipped from you and you stopped breathing altogether. It was that abrupt.

Panic soared in Marcus. He carefully laid you out on your back in the dirt and pressed two fingers to your neck, searching for a pulse. Finding none he could palpate, he knelt over you and started to do chest compressions.

"Damn it, Sunny! Come on! Stay with me!"

Any civilian watching would've been horrified by the sight of your blood squirting out of your wound onto his hands and gray sleep shirt as he worked. It was a futile effort, keeping your heart going when there wasn't enough blood to pump anymore, but it wasn't until he heard the ambulance sirens that Marcus became aware of that.

The tears welled up then, his chest tightening as he went blind.

"Sunny, oh god," he sobbed out, taking in the gruesome sight before him. It seemed like the blood was everywhere.

He pulled your upper body off the ground and cradled it in his arms, pressing his forehead against your own, his lips grazing your closed right eye.

"Damn it, Sunny," he whimpered out before the full bulk of his grief hit him.

He nuzzled his face against your cooling one and finally wept.

Marcus wasn't sure how he'd managed to pull himself together enough to be the one to inform your sister of your passing, but he had.

He'd insisted on it. It was only right he be the one to tell her since he'd been your partner and had been there for your dying breath.

He'd promised your sister that it had been quick and that you hadn't died alone. And even though that made her cry harder, she'd promised him that it made a difference and thanked him for doing everything he could for you in the moment.

He hoped she had family to lean on the day of your funeral. He wasn't there when they put you in the hole. He'd been busy on another case, having buried himself in work to distract himself from his own pain, despite his superior begging him to take some time off to properly mourn you.

Witnessing the funeral would've made it too final. He hadn't been ready yet.

It wasn't until he finally met the one, someone who made him smile again, for real, who shared his dreams for the future, that his heart truly began to mend from your loss.

It wasn't until he had the wedding band, the cabin, and the kids that he completely stopped having the nightmares.

There were still nights though, usually around the anniversary of your death, when he'd lie awake wondering what would have happened if he had stopped you from leaving the rock by yourself that night.

Even though he was sure now that you were never meant to be his, he still couldn't help but wonder if he'd made a mistake letting you go back to the cabin without him. If you should've been his exception.

You would always be his biggest regret.

The shot not taken.

xxx

Tagged: @harriedandharassed

xxx

Main Masterlist

xxx

#read #bookshelf #angst fic #angst challenge shelf #almostfoxgloveangstchallenge #marcus pike #marcus pike fic #sobbing #queued

35 notes · View notes

crimsonandcloverwrites · 3 years ago

Text

ok bhah ch1 reread thought dump lets goooo

@youngbloodbuzz @romanitwontletmetagyouuuu??? thank u for writing this. in return I gift u this lightly unhinged commentary

oh the opening quote “Do you think it all meant nothing, all the longing? The longing for home?” violence

lmao ok I started this ages ago and then got distracted for a week because that’s just who I am as a person lets try that again

eddie n his glowing glasses nice we love a canon nod

ok I remember getting really emotional reading the chapter where Dani’s car died bc of what it represented to her n now I’m being reminded of it all again with the ‘poor little car’ comment oh dear we’re like 2 paragraphs in and I’m already compromised

the wavering reflection in the water in her hands..... Dani posessed by the ghost of comphet..... I am Drawing Conclusions

eddie “we can hang out more” dani “aha wouldn’t that be neat”

god the prom photo... remembering Dani’s meltdown at the prom bc she missed Jamie... I’m dying Jack I’m dying

lil palm kiss... I know u will not ever love hm that way Dani but fuck I’m a sucker for a palm kiss

lil nerd ass w her folder tabs I love her

god the tone of this is so comforting like I can just hang out n imagine each scene progressing so naturally. wish I did not have to suffer emotionally at the same time but at least it’s a smooth read

Dani feeling like an invader amongst all the physical representations of her relationship w eddie BABY U DON’T HAVE TO LIVE THIS WAY STOP LETTING OTHER PEOPLE INFLUENCE UR LIFE AND RUIN UR HAPPINESS

“Hannah Grose, seamlessly elegant” yes

Hannah: congrats on ur engagement. Dani, with tears in her eyes: thank

Dani relaxing when they’re talking about teaching pls I love her love for it so much

Dani at the blackboard with the “Miss, Ms?” confusion now I am thinking about the Ted Moseby professor/proffessor scene. HIMYM my beloved

mikeyyyy my boy

the image of Dani w chalk dust on her skirt is v endearing.

oooh the library trip gay foreshadowing yes

wait the silver stars on his backpack......... cup of stars crying time

Mikey correcting her on his name when she was the one to give him the nickname in the first place... feeling some kind of way

Dani fostering the talents she sees in her kids is so sweet and mikey shy lil math genuis is also so sweet pls i love this duo

i do wonder if part of her is like I know a Mikey Taylor but I literally refuse to believe it is the same one bc his sister broke my heart and we are absolutely not in the business of confronting hard feelings in this house!!

keys on a lanyard... ok lesbian

“You’re still here?” the love I have for canon lines being used when I can hear them being said in my head

awww bonding over Wonder Woman. cute!!!! When Dani becomes Mikey’s official second mum (everyone be quiet I am manifesting) my heart will explode

eddie ur really just gonna rock up and toot at her. jail for 1000 years

ooohhh Dani is Realising who the sister is. honey you got a big storm comin. oof (the ‘wonder woman punching stars out of her foes” to “dani feeling like she’s just recieved a blow to the ribs.” the cinnamontography). aw baby :(

“Jamie. Jamie, here. Jamie, home.” please i am thinking about her last letter and I am not strong enough

“Somehow Eddie didn’t notice.” sum up a relationship in a sentence

“Jamie would appear, as if summoned by the gravity of Dani’s pounding heart” fuck this hits on so many levels I need to go think about my life for 45mins

CARSON MY BOY. in his studded leather. a fashionable gay never loses.

I looove how soft n caring Dani n Carson are with each other thank gods she has him.

DID WE EVER FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN CARSON AND JASON MY SPIDEY SENSES ARE STILL TINGLING FROM READING THIS THE FIRST TIME

god this post is already so long n I’m only halfway through why do I have so many silly thoughts

god just the... expectations of affection from her by eddie w that placating cheek kiss she gives him is like... I cannot imagine Jamie ever asking that from her in the same way even when they are in a relationship!!! and it’s not even wrong of him to do that??? but it’s just a lot to think about the kind of person Dani makes herself to be to stay with him vs the kind of person Jamie lets her be by not expecting anything of her. they’re such opposites

dani not even feeling at home in her own (former) home pls when is she going to find a soft place to land (it’s also making me think v hard about the title like... the haunting of Dani and Jamie’s relationship (and what that represents for Dani) on Dani’s whole life and Jamie coming home and bringing that to Dani’s doorstep. resurecting a ghost so to speak........ too many homes to think about. I don’t know if I fully understand but I am Thinking)

dani and her inhaler... asthmatic bitches represent

oh my god not the box of memories. been trying to erase that from my own for weeks now let me live

ooh the line about her feeling like an archaeologist at the start of this section and then her ‘exhuming the past’ w the photos of her n Jamie i love a consistent narrative.

THE MIXTAPE. THE MIXTAPE. is there a playlist for this chapter I would like to take that aural journey

oh no i cannot remember where the flower comes from but aahhh this box of memories pain.

this description of carson in a tight white undershirt tucked into his jeans makes me think of freddie mercury. didn’t mean to make you cry etc

lmao Dani trying to get info from Judy abt Jamie in a roundabout way... international superspy she is not

Dani entirely uncomfy in church... i feel it. godd the repression of it all w the movie and the feelings and the Jamie-influence on the feelings my heart hurts.

God knowing how much Judy loves her but the weight of that love also stifling her... pain

they’ve really got her all shacked up w a house and a husband and a kid on the way can we let the girl be a lesbian in peace (also lowkey hoping Dani gets some time on her own at some point no Eddie no Jamie no weight of expectations pls she needs it we all need it)

the thread of Dani refusing to do things for herself in order to make other people happy throughout this entire piece hits so fucking close to home and is entirely heartbreaking to read thank you

jamiiiiieeeeeeeee

Jamie: appears. Dani: every single emotion all at once

Judy and her girls back together is v sweet even if Dani is dying inside at it all

“Jamie only had eyes for Dani.” Again, sum up a relationship in a sentence.

What do you even say to a girl who *the sky goes dark as i attempt to even summarise a fraction of their relationship*. Apparently the answer is “Jamie. Hi.”

TWO MONTHS JAMIE TAYLOR. CRIMES

It’s ahh. fairly entertaining to be going through Dani’s emotional journey alongside her and knowing that Jamie is also Going Through It on some level but having 0 insights to it bc she keeps her emotions so in check.

oooh how much of a gut punch is this engagement revelation for Jamie??? like on some level I’m sure she always knew this was coming but I’m sure another part of her still desperately hoped one day Dani would choose her. god I would kill for Jamie’s POV in this scene

Jamie’s scarrrr. Literally Dani’s impact

oh fucking hell that moment of like... familiarity and almost a coming home for Dani when Judy is talking and she meets Jamie’s eyes... she really was entirely screwed from that moment on huh.

oof god this is a hell of an opening chapter lets see if my attention span will let me continue this journey (also @ myself reminder to read this all in chronological order one day for a real nice session of emotional destruction)

#bhah #bly manor fic #this is so chaotic i apologise to anyone who reads this #absolute delight tho i love writing out my rambling thoughts as I read #god i remeber reading this chapt when it first came out n i truly... had no idea what i was getting myself in for huh

11 notes · View notes