#that’s deeply goddamn offensive

[cattatoir]

Oh!! This is a terrible plotline. Are you serious with this whole dead unborn baby ghost like absolutely Not this Offends me

[die-tenebris]

a basic human right to privacy and solitude is just as important as being in community and being able to socialize

[eevees-hobbies]

To Yearn is to Worship - NSFW (InsecureFem!Reader x Shoei Barou)

Synopsis: Shoei Barou is #TeamYou and doesn’t mind convincing you of that fact. Literally a fic about his feelings for you and how he tries to get you to see yourself through his eyes. 

Content Warning: InsecureFem!Reader x Shoei Barou. Reader is implied to be curvy and insecure about physical traits. Mention of a blowjob but not in detail, mirror sex, premature female orgasm, cursing. Tis smut. Minors Do Not Interact.|| Word Count: 1.8K || As always, reblogs and comments are always appreciated.

Banner by me. Divider by @saradika-graphics.

Hard planes, chiseled abs, and thick muscles.

Soft tummy, plush thighs, and plump hips.

You and Shoei are opposites in many ways, but that doesn’t matter to him because he’s also painfully and utterly in love with you. 

The day in which he found himself no longer drowning in the acknowledgment that you made him feel an immense sense of vulnerability–his mind working overtime to grasp that he now wanted to care for something more than himself and soccer–was the day in which he finally let go of his desire for control. He finally gave the old, ‘fuck it’ shrug and let whatever was happening–because at the time he sure as fuck didn’t know–happen.

And when he finally allowed himself to sit in those feelings, he realized he hadn’t actually been drowning. Drowning implies suffocation–something your body tells you to fight because you’re on the brink of experiencing something unpleasant or life-ending. No, he hadn’t actually been drowning at all. Instead, he was being pulled–pulled by a force that was unbudging and, quite frankly, inevitable.

But back to opposites. 

Shoei doesn’t desire a fucking clone. The fuck would the world do with two kings anyway? He needs someone who grounds him while simultaneously calling him out on his bullshit, supports him when he has rare moments of doubt, and gives him that vision-blurring, head-swimming, ‘fuck, I might cum too damn early if you keep sucking me like that, baby girl’ type of head.

And even though he had never experienced those things before, god, he sure became comfortable with them quickly, often sinking into the blissful familiarity of your voice, smile, touch, and simply you.

You, his perfect, sweet girlfriend, are an anomaly to everyone else.

You, who has his usual cold gaze—relegated for the most annoying of pests and stubborn of donkeys—softening. 

You, who has him running straight towards you after a game, jumping over the crowd-control divider and lifting you into his arms to plant a hungry, adrenaline-laced kiss to your lips, asking if you saw that last goal he made because it was all for you. 

You, who has him doting on you as if lifting a finger, would not only be a waste of your time but also an offense to him. Never mind that the man doesn’t believe you should spend any money you make but instead provides you with anything you could ever want and everything you would never think to ask for.

And while the world may know Shoei Barou as bold, blunt, and a rude egoist—to you, he’s a yearner with a taste for you, and only you, with gentle touches laced with invocation and whispered praises that leave no room for argument about how he feels about his girl.

To Shoei, his queen came into his world exactly as you are: perfect. You’re the literal embodiment of everything he’s ever needed; there’s not a damn thing he’d change about you, and he would whisper it like it was a goddamn mantra in your ear if it meant etching it into your brain like the truth he knows it to be, especially during those moments when you’re feeling a bit insecure. 

He has no qualms with letting you know how deeply he worships you, fucking craves you with every fiber of his being.

It doesn’t matter if it’s morning, night, while he’s away playing a match, or even while he’s splitting you open on his cock and fucking you within an inch of your life. 

“Keep your eyes on that pussy when she’s swallowing my cock, baby girl.”

But he needs you to see that, so sometimes, when he’s not getting through to you, he sits you in his lap, your back pressed against his chest as he faces you toward the full-length mirror in your shared bedroom. 

Your reflection is so often your enemy as it spotlights every piece of you that you wish either didn’t exist or was different, but in Shoei’s lap as his eyes rake over you, smoldering with the kind of love that is unchallenged and all-consuming, you see what he sees. 

His iron-hard cock is nestled between your soft, warm thighs, the head slicken with precum poking through the top of your legs and throbbing incessantly as he presses his lips against your kiss-swollen ones with reverence.

“I love these lips,” he whispers into the shell of your ear, offering a playful nip to your earlobe and then soothing it with a quick lick. 

“Love how they curl into a smile when you say my name or call me your king.” His thumb drags across your bottom lip, the pad of his finger sliding in just enough to stroke at the bottom row of your teeth.

He shifts under you, strong hands gripping the meat of your thighs and lifting you easily as he guides your drooling cunt onto his cock. 

The heat of you makes him ache, and he revels in it, dragging the head against your slick folds, spreading the essence of you all over his shaft like his own personal bottle of lubricant. 

You're both mesmerized as the tip presses against your snug entrance, meeting some initial resistance because no matter how wet you are, it’s still an effort to take in his girth. But you both find the struggle delicious, eyes glazing over, your tongue lolling out of your mouth as Shoei pushes against your resistant cunt. You aid him like a good girl, wiggling your hips back and forth, love handles jiggling for him with each shimmy as your cunt accepts him with an audible squelch.

“Fuuuuuuuuuck, baby girl, such a tight fit for me. Open up for Daddy like a good girl. Thaaaaaat’s it. Suck me in.”

He wastes no time, pistoning his hips upwards from tip to hilt, the mirror shamelessly showing everything–how your clit twitches with the need to feel the pads of his fingers stroking her, how your labia spread obscenely as his cock buries inside of you and how your slick not only coats your inner thighs but his balls, droplets blanketing them with the dew of your arousal.

God, and the way he works you over, it’s with the same studying, dedication and determination that got him to be the best on the field. As an expert of your pleasure, he knows precisely where to drag his cock to make you gasp and moan, the pressure building up to a boiling point almost immediately as he molds your pussy to the shape of his cock. 

And not once does he take his eyes off your face, watching it contort into the type of pleasure only he can provide. You’re writhing on top of him, moaning wantonly and it’s enough to not only make his own cheeks heat up, eyes half-lidded as he groans into your ear but also cause spurts upon spurts of precum to dribble inside your wet heat.

“Shoei! T-too much! I’m going to cum!” You whine; your voice is high-pitched with a mix of desperation, embarrassment, and obvious arousal. Sure, you want to cum, but not this soon, not when you have all night.

“Do it,” he coaxes. “You think I give a fuck if this sweet cunt gushes on me a little fucking early? First of many, baby.”

As white-hot pleasure courses through your brain like an electrical shock to your system, Shoei’s grip on your thighs grows tighter, spreading your legs and baring it all to his hungry gaze and your post-orgasmic blissed-out one, allowing you both to see the way you squeeze around him, trying to siphon every drop of his release you can coax out.

But he’s not there yet; finding pleasure in watching you come undone several times over before he allows him the privilege to join you is something that he takes pride in. His queen always comes first–literally and figuratively. 

“Goddamn, you’re so sexy, baby, so sensitive for me.” All the while, his hips had never stopped moving, only slowing to coast you through your orgasm. Once he feels the fluttering of your pussy subsiding, his thrusts increase in speed again. He grabs your hand, guiding it down to your cunt.

“That’s my girl. Use those pretty fingers and spread her open for your king.” And you obey, using your middle and forefinger to spread your labia like he asked. Shoei licks a long stripe from your jaw to the curve of your cheek, crimson eyes never breaking eye contact with you in the mirror as he claims you while simultaneously challenging you to object, which you never do.

His hands are all over your body, squeezing, mapping, and committing every part of you to memory like the work of art you are. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! Fuckin’ perfect, baby! Look at you. How’d I get so fuckin’ lucky, huh? Ah, ah, don’t look away. Look.” He growls, but there’s no bite to his command, only a plea for you to open your eyes and not shy away from the reflection of the person he would burn the entire world down for. 

“Please?” He whispers in your ear, his voice hitching as he hits a particularly sensitive spot for you both. And with the way he’s asking, how can you not take a chance and look? 

When you finally muster the courage to open your tightly shut eyes, you see yourself through his eyes: the way your hair sticks to your sweat-slicked skin, the way your body is flushed from the exertion, but most importantly, the way you fold so neatly, so perfectly into him. 

There’s beauty in these moments you two create and beauty in the way that you are everything to him. You are his love, his life, his blood, and his soul, and that, among other things, is what Shoei sees.

“That’s my girl.” He groans. “You’re so beautiful, baby. I can’t fuckin’ take it anymore. Gonna cum in this pretty pussy, yeah?”

You watch as his thrusts quicken, his cock pistoning in and out of you in almost a blur, his fingers digging into your thighs so much that you can see the minor indentation marks he’s leaving. Your eye twitches as you feel the unmistakable feeling of another orgasm building up deep at the base of your spine, but fortunately for you, Shoei isn’t too far behind. 

He’s so close, and in the same vein that he’s become an expert of you, you’ve done the same: the way his jaw clenches, his balls tighten, and his words are coming out in a jumbled, garbled mess tells you that he’s about to free-fall off the ledge with you.

Shoei throws his head back; loud, visceral moans rip through his throat as a jet of hot, white cum soaks into your womb. You don’t often see Shoei exhausted, but pouring love into you and doing his damnedest to build you up takes effort that he exerts happily. 

Heavy breathing and whispers of love are shared amongst you both post-coitus. Shoei wastes no time getting you what you need: a washcloth, fruit, a glass of water, cuddles, or more dick if you’re interested.

And it’s moments like this, moments of tender worship by your king, that you feel you’re worthy of yearning for.

@interstellar-inn @pixelcafe-network

Huge thanks to @hayatoseyepatch for test reading this for me. My huge crush on you is so valid.

[purpledemonlilyposting]

Oh good Lorch is opening her mouth about Utena again. A series she only talks about because ND Stevenson and Rebecca Sugar made references to it, and because I criticized her takes on it.

Spoilers and long ass diatribes below.

[Lily's Post]

Let's do this point by point shall we?

The Thermian Argument was coined by Dan Olson... you know the Breadtuber who uploaded lolicon onto 8chan so he could write an article about how there's lolicon on 8chan. So that's a good start.

What it apparently means is a logical fallacy wherein someone uses the text of a work to quash criticism of something offensive in that work.

I'm sure Lily is going to use it to mean you can't use the text of the work to quash her own misinterpretation of that text.

Ah this is how we know she has FINALLY maybe actually watched the series. She has never mentioned the incestous tones between the three different sets of siblings in the show before now.

It isn't really played for a joke. With Nanami it's her immaturity. She doesn't really get why its inappropriate to hold her brother up as the ideal man and want chaste kisses from him like when they were little. Just like she doesn't get why its inappropriate to refer to her elementary schooler simp as her "boyfriend". She's clad in yellow when she tries to take her brother's place on the student council for a reason. She's very naive, very immature, still clinging to childhood notions of the world. Akio tries to encourage Touga to take her affection in a sexual direction to manipulate both of them, but Nanami resolutely rejects it. Because the adult reality of her childhood fancy is not what she actually wants.

Some people also speculate Nanami is a deeply closeted lesbian, given she's quick to accuse Utena of being one. And that by holding up her brother, an unattainable man, as the ultimate ideal man she's excusing herself from having to engage with other men.

And yes she drowned a kitten she originally gave to her brother out of jealously. By putting it in a box and pushing it into a reservoir. When she was a little kid and didn't know any better. And regretted it immediately.

Get this Lily: characters... can have flaws.

And that's probably why she constantly has bad karma with animals. Well also Anthy fucking with her.

Kozue and Miki are a whole other story. There was one event in their childhood that shattered how close they used to be, then their parents divorced and neither one of them really knows what to do with those feelings as they enter adolescence.

At what point is any of it fetishistic? It's always depicted as a negative thing. Do you just think it's fetishistic because of your own very obvious incest fetish Lily?

Also we're talking about princes and princesses here when the reality is often times there were arranged marriages between siblings among royalty so. You know. There's that too.

Something happening in a piece of fiction isn't an endorsement.

Lily stop treating goddamn TV Tropes as your media criticism bible.

Maybe instead of just going by what Noralities says you could, I dunno, just watch the show, and pay attention, and try to follow what it is communicating to you, and then draw your own conclusions? Wild idea I know.

Well golly gee and who was the one out here saying "Utena isn't yuri" "Utena isn't gay rep" and getting shat on on Twitter for it? You know the same Twitter conversations YOU try to use against me?

More like it's impossible for you to understand the themes because it is a very abstract, metaphorical and surrealist piece of media.

By the way Lily the primary driving theme of RGU is adolescence. That "apocalyptic" period between childhood and adulthood. The process of the death of the child and the birth of the adult. Those inbetween years when you are neither. And all of these people are within a hazy endless summer at Ohtori Academy until they find their path to adulthood, with Akio and Anthy preying upon them.

You don't have to like it Lily. No one gives a damn. The fans will continue discussing and analyzing this work as we have done for the past almost 30 years. Your input is not needed.

https://ohtori.nu/analysis/

https://satirist.org/essays/utena/

So absolute proof Lily had not watched the show in 17 years when she ran her mouth about it in her 2023 SU video. You know the thing that directly lead to me becoming a YouTuber and a thorn in her side:

(pun absolutely intended)

Again: no one gives a damn if you don't like it. And yeah, it's not a very accessible series to the average viewer. Oh well!

You said it, not me.

Utena is an important piece of art beyond it being anime, Lily. Suck it up. It's a product of the people and time it was made in, by their own studio with their own rules. Only that exact confluence of events could have lead to its creation.

[an-au-blog]

Scenario where Buggy gets hit by some kind of mystery devil fruit power, and he knows he got hit with it but the guy runs off before Buggy can actually find out what it was. So he is already on high alert looking out for any sign of what the devil fruit effects might be, and then goddamn Shanks shows up, because when Buggy’s bad luck rains it pours. Shanks on the other hand is ecstatic, immediately trying to cajole him into getting drinks and spending time together. Buggy is just trying to get out of there so he gives some kind of ridiculous command to Shanks, probably to go get him a huge amount of treasure. Buggy is thinking that Shanks will take offense to being ordered around that he will give up and Buggy can sneak away. However, instead Shanks just… does it. He goes and brings back the treasure and is just like “cool now we can go get drinks together!” and Buggy is so dumbfounded that he lets himself get pulled away to the bar. He now has a sneaking suspicion of what the devil fruit did but he has to test it further in order to be sure and yep, it seems like any order he gives to Shanks, the red head obeys unflinchingly. Oddly enough, the bartender and couple of other people he tries to give orders to don’t seem to be compelled in the same way, so it must just be the first person you give an order to that gets brainwashed by the devil fruit powers. Now Buggy has to figure out what to do, and instead of sailing off in the dead of night he extends his crew’s stay on the island because surely there must be some way to exploit having mind control over Red Haired Shanks. Buggy tells his crew to keep an eye out for that devil fruit user, while he goes and tries to see what else he can get Shanks to do. After a while Buggy starts to get paranoid because who knows how long the effects of this brainwashing will last, and how is Shanks going to react once it wears off and figures out what happened??? This is all getting to be too high stakes for Buggy. Shanks himself meanwhile is just like “this is great! Buggy is spending time with me AND asking me for favors! This is going so well!=D” Eventually the stress gets to Buggy’s head and he breaks down and tells Shanks what he’s been doing. Shanks is understandably VERY confused because he isn’t brainwashed? He has been having a great time hanging out with Buggy, showering him with treasure, and helping out with some ship repairs, and of course that glorious time he told Shanks to brush his hair. Shanks assumes this must be some kind of a joke that he just doesn’t understand and assures Buggy that he isn’t being mind controlled. Buggy just… doesn’t believe him. Clearly Shanks is so thoroughly brainwashed that he can’t recognize it even when he is flat out told about it. Feeling flustered, Buggy storms off back to his own ship. This whole thing has turned into such a mess, and he never asked for any of it, and no matter what that idiot red head says he is definitely going to be pissed when the mind control wears off. Of course, upon returning to the ship he is met by his crew who are all very proud of themselves for actually managing to find the guy (or let’s be honest here it’s like a 12 year old kid) who hit him with the devil fruit. It had nothing at all to do with mind control, it just made Buggy like, mildly allergic to citrus or some shit for a few days. The revelation that Shanks was never actually brainwashed makes Buggy go full blue screen of death because what have they even been doing for the past couple of weeks then? Meanwhile back on the Red Force Shanks’ poor beleaguered crew is trying to comfort him because when a flushed and disheveled Buggy had told him that they urgently needed to talk in private, Shanks had thought for sure that they were going to kiss on the lips. Instead Buggy yelled some crazy shit about mind control devil fruits at him and then ran away and oh no, what if he wasn’t coming back??? They are all deeply unimpressed, and immediately contact Buggy’s crew to make sure no one is leaving the island until these two idiots hash it out.

thats actually so cute omg

honestly they wouuuulldd and im so embarrassed for both of them lol

[good-to-drive]

would you say paul was a good husband to linda?

This is a super interesting question that I was actually just thinking about! The short answer is yes. The long answer is a little more complicated, but it's also yes.

In a way, all you really need to say about Paul and Linda is that they were happy. And I know a lot of people feel that trying to understand a happy couple is pointless (or possibly even offensive) because all that matters is that they were happy.

But I do tend to think that even a happy relationship can still be complex and interesting -- or, rather, that a real, human relationship can still be very happy. That's why I'm personally comfortable with thinking more deeply about their relationship, and those thoughts are under the cut.

Paul and Linda's relationship made them both happy and that is absolutely something to be celebrated. I also think that, like literally every other relationship in the world, the specific way in which they related to and loved one another was a product of their own personalities and experiences. It’s not necessarily fairy tale magic that made them right for each other. Or it is fairy tale magic, and fairy tales are just a lot more real and human than you might expect. 

I actually think to understand Paul and Linda it helps to look back at Paul's relationship with Jane, and how his relationship with Linda was essentially the logical follow-up.

This has been on my mind lately because I was just reading about a phenomenon where men, particularly of older generations, were shamed in childhood for wanting emotional intimacy or showing any vulnerability with their emotions (“man up,” “too old to cry”, etc.), which culminates a fear of intimacy/affection as an adult.

Because it’s generally acceptable for men to have high sexual appetites, sometimes these men will start to substitute sexual/physical intimacy for the emotional intimacy they’re deprived of, thus appearing to have a high sex drive.

(Obviously this can happen to women and young people, too, but everything I read specified that it’s most often seen in older men.) 

All this together reminded me a lot of Paul and how we often perceive him pre-Linda as having a high sex drive (i.e. cheating on Jane like a goddamn dog), and also how he seemed to fear emotional intimacy and platonic affection throughout his entire life (like when he thought George of all people was going to hit him for taking his hand on his freaking deathbed). 

It kind of makes sense given how massive and insane his life was (and how much grief and trauma he was still carrying from his childhood) that he would basically be a black hole of emotional need just like all the other Beatles were, and I genuinely wonder if he used sexuality as a band-aid for an enormous, unmet need for affection/intimacy/validation/etc. 

Which brings us to Linda, and the fact that he was able to be completely loyal to her. Which is an amazing achievement for someone who struggles with infidelity, and I definitely don't want to take that away from him, but I also think we can look a little deeper at why he was suddenly able to be loyal.

If I'm right that his high sex drive was band-aid for unmet emotional needs, then it would tend to follow that being able to be 100% loyal would mean that black hole of emotional need was being satiated, or at least soothed, by someone willing and able to do a lot of emotional caretaking to keep him happy.

Essentially, I think his newfound loyalty was a product of Linda's willingness to be a therapist/girlfriend/appeaser/etc. pretty much 24/7. (That’s barely an exaggeration btw – they spent a lot of time together). Looking at their relationship just in a practical sense, Linda really went out of her way to be with Paul all the time, to be involved in the things he cared about (even at the detriment of things that she cared about), and to make the relationship “about” him.

(Kind of a weird side note here is that John was loyal to Yoko under similar circumstances, at least until the level of emotional dependence between them got to be too much for her and she encouraged him to develop an outside relationship with May Pang, so it's arguably yet another unexpected parallel in John and Paul's lives after they “broke up” with each other.)

I've also wondered a bit why Linda was willing/able to devote herself to Paul's needs to an unusually self-sacrificing extent, but unfortunately Linda's childhood is something I know a lot less about. Some people (especially women of older generations) are deeply reliant on the need they sense in other people to give them a feeling of value. Only by being of service, by satiating the need, can they feel like a worthwhile person themselves. So in that way they're equally dependent on their partner. 

(Okay, maybe not equally, but they're still dependent).

Obviously love was the main reason Linda focused so much of her time and energy on being what Paul needed, arguably at the detriment of her own needs, but looking at it more in the context of her personality and experiences it does make me wonder about her upbringing and to what extent she was raised to believe she achieved value or lovability by being of service to others.

I think Paul's reliance on Linda to caretake his emotions for him (and Linda's potential reliance on Paul to require caretaking) could be part of why we see such extreme devotion between them, why they literally never (voluntarily) spent a single night apart in all of their marriage. It's an expression of love, yes, and also of how deeply they both relied on one another.

(It also probably indicates anxious attachment and potentially some deep rooted concerns about being cheated on, but that's speculation for another day.)

Now, all this being said, none of this changes the fact that Paul was loyal and he did adore Linda and they did spend every single moment possible with one another. I'm not bringing any of this complicated shit up to try to devalue their relationship or any of the things we love about it -- rather, I think the fact that it does come from a place of humanity and vulnerability is part of what makes it beautiful.

It's a good chance to remember that no relationship is 100% easy and simple 100% of the time, and we're all a product of our own messy internal stuff that we try to deal with and try to find other people who are also willing to deal with. And while it’s true that every relationship has a deeper story, it’s equally true that a relationship between two people with complex personalities and needs can still be extremely happy, loving, and positive for the both of them.

[autisticlancemcclain]

“Oh, I love spring.” Lance’s voice is soft, breathy, sighing. He veers off the path, heading towards one of the campus’ many gardens. “Everything’s just so hopeful, y’know? And the hills — they get coated in little springs of gold. It’s beautiful.”

“It snowed yesterday,” Keith deadpans, but joins Lance in looking at the blooming flowers anyway.

Lance rolls his dark eyes at him fondly. “For, like, twenty seconds!”

“Snow, Lance. In April. Disgusting.”

“Yeah, yeah, party pooper.” He leans in close to a yellow pansy, inhaling deeply. The slightest of smiles pulls at his lips, long eyelashes fluttering as his eyes close in serenity. Freckles sprinkle over his nose and cheekbones, darker now that the sun is starting to shine brighter.

Keith has to shake himself out of staring like a fool. Even then it’s no easy feat — Lance is ethereal, in the spring sunshine, surrounded by budding flowers and melting snow.

Keith clears his throat, ears a little red. “I thought you were more of a summer person,” he says, a little loudly, a little telling.

“I do love the summer, Lance agrees, inhaling one more time before straightening up. He turns the full power of his smile towards Keith — Lord help him — and takes a step away from the garden. “But there’s just something about the flowers, I guess. Something about so many colours finally blooming after the endless grey of winter, y’know?”

Keith snorts. “Right, Shakespeare.”

“I’m going to take that as the compliment it is, you butthead. Ready to head out?”

“Yeah.” Keith pauses, glancing back at the flowers. He thinks of Lance’s soft look as he smelled them. He thinks of how badly he wants to see Lance look like that again. “Why don’t you bring a couple flowers back to your dorm?”

Lance glances back at the flowers. For a minute Keith thinks he’s going to pick a couple, but then he’s shaking his head. “Nah.” He chuckles a little, scratching the back of his neck, looking sheepish. “It’s stupid, but I get genuinely upset when flowers die? I used to pick them all the time as a kid and then cry when they started to droop. I never really grew out of it, I guess. Embarrassing, huh?”

Oh my God, that is the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever heard, Keith thinks, screaming internally.

“A little,” Keith teases instead. Lance gasps exaggeratedly, clasping his hand to his heart in mock offense.

“Why, I never!”

The two of them joke and tease their way to the dining hall, only getting worse as they meet up with the rest of their friends. They devolve into ridiculous chaos almost immediately, as they usually do — Pidge barely catches sight of Lance before she starts some ridiculous argument over the dorky video game they’re both obsessed with, and then the rest of them choose sides just for the drama of it all — but honestly? Keith’s heart’s not in it. All he can think of is Lance’s slight smile as he smelled the flower, and the barest hint of sadness Keith saw flash through his dark brown eyes when he stepped away from them.

Keith is going to get Lance his flowers, and flowers that won’t die on him. He will.

Anything to get that smile on his face again.

———

“Keith, it’s four in the goddamn morning.”

“Allura if you help me I’ll get you those caf cookies you like every day for a month.”

That gives her pause. “The coffee caramel one? That’s always gone before I get up?”

“Yep,” Keith says, grinning despite his frustration. Got her. Allura would do anything short of human sacrifice to get those cookies.

“…Make it two months.”

“What?” Keith protests immediately. “That’s sixty whole days!”

“I’m getting more and more tired by the second, Gyeong.”

“Alright, alright, Jesus. You’ll get your cookie, you tyrant.”

She hums. There’s a creaking noise in the background, like she’s shuffling around, then the unmistakable sound of a thump and muffled cursing.

Keith shoves his knuckles into his mouth to keep from cackling. “Did you fall, you dumbass?”

“Fuck off. Mention it again and the deal is off.”

“Alright, alright,” Keith says,holding up his hands in surrender even though she can’t see it. (One can never be too sure with Allura. Sometimes it’s like she’s a fuckin’ witch, or something. She knows all.)

“Anyways, dorkus. Why’d you call me in the dead of the fucking night?”

Keith sobers quickly, frustration building back up when he catches a glance at his supplies. He takes a deep breath. “So, you know how you’re an art major?”

There’s a beat of incredulous silence. Keith can feel her judgey look through the phone.

“No, that’s news to me, actually. Must have missed that memo on my way to class this morning.”

“Oh, piss off. You know what I meant.”

She snorts, but answers anyway. “Yes, Keith. I am aware that I’m an art major. I take it to mean you need some artistic advice?”

“Yeah,” Keith confirms. He holds up one of the canvases he’s been working on, frowning deeply. “So, I have this…project. I need to paint a really, really good — almost perfect, honestly — picture of a flower. No, a bouquet of flowers. Yeah. And —”

“You,” Allura interrupts slowly, “a physics major.”

There’s a long moment of silence — incredulous on Allura’s end, panicked on Keith’s.

“You need to paint a flower? For a grade?”

“I’m…applying the physical sciences of viscous fluids acting upon a dry powdered surface such as canvas,” Keith lies hastily. “Yeah. Lots of science in painting, you know.”

That’s a pretty decent excuse, if Keith says so himself. And he does! He’s found that if he just throws out enough science words into one sentence, and uses the words ‘acting upon’ at least once, then people usually just go along with it. It has yet to fail on him before, at least.

“This is about Lance, isn’t it.”

Of fucking course Allura’s annoyingly smart ass can see right through him.

Keith scoffs. And then he scoffs again, and again, and every time it sounds just a touch more hysterical. “Ha! I don’t — ha! How ridiculous! Me, painting a picture of a flower for Lance, because he gets sad when cut flowers die! I would never — preposterous! Outlandish! Unbelievable, even! I —”

“You just let me know when you’re done,” Allura drawls.

Keith sputters. “I — you! What!”

“Look,” she says, faux-gently. “Please take full offense to this.”

“I probably will,” Keith grumbles. Allura has no problem plowing right on.

“There is not a soul on this campus who isn’t well aware that you are atrociously down bad for Lance.”

“I — yes there is! That’s fuckin’ — private information! How do you know that?!”

“You look at him like he’s the sun, dude. It’s as sweet as it is sickening, truly.”

Keith wants to fight that. He does. He’s kept his feelings for Lance under lock and key, thanks. Allura is talking out of her ass.

But then he looks down at his canvas and half-finished painting, and —

Oh.

Well.

“…Okay,” Keith admits, cheeks flaming. “So I get a little moon-eyed occasionally. Can you blame me?”

Allura chuckles. “No. Lance is cute as hell. You’re lucky I’m a lesbian or you would have some serious competition with that boy, let me tell you.”

“Thank Thor for that, then.”

“Damn right. Anyway. Details, Horatio. You’re painting him a flower?”

Keith sighs. He knows it’s incriminating as hell, but he truly can’t help himself. “Yeah. We were looking at flowers a couple days ago, and he was just so happy to see them, y’know? I suggested he should bring a couple back to his dorm but he said he got sad when they died, so. I’m painting him some that won’t die.”

“That is the gayest damn thing I’ve ever heard.”

Keith flushes. “Yeah, yeah. Shut up. Can you help me or not?”

“Well, I won’t be painting it for you.”

“I know that! I just — I don’t know what I’m doing, ‘Llura. How the hell do I shape it right? What’s the deal with shading? How come half the colours look smudgy and brush hairs keep getting stuck in the paint? What —”

“Alright, deep breath,” Allura interjects. Keith listens. “Good.” Her voice softens. “He’s gonna love it, y’know? He loves you just as much as you love him — and don’t give me that ‘what if he doesn’t like me back’ shit,” she scolds, before he can protest. “Okay? He’s one of your closest friends. He’s going to appreciate the gesture regardless.”

“I know,” Keith says, exhaling deeply. “I know. But still. Help me?”

“Yeah, yeah. I got you.”

———

Keith takes a deep breath, glancing down at the gift bag he’s holding. It’s not too late, really. He can ding dong ditch. That way Lance can get the painting — and the stupid sappy letter Keith wrote him — and Keith can avoid the whole mortifying ordeal of being known or whatever.

Yeah. Yeah, that’s what he’ll do. He can confess his undying love another time, right? Lance doesn’t need to know now. Keith can suffer in silence. He’s gone this far —

“Keith! Hi! I tried to wait for you to know but you took too long. Come in!”

Lance beams at him, dorm room door opened wide, stepping to the side to usher Keith in.

Curse him and his stupid bat ears. Of course he heard Keith’s heartbeat through the door, or something.

“Hey, Lance.” He accepts Lance hug, squeezing tightly and inhaling smell of sunscreen and lavender.

The smell makes him brave, makes him bold.

“I, uh, I brought you something.”

Lance’s grin only gets wider. “I was hoping that was for me.” He makes grabby hands towards the bag. “Gimme!”

It will be fine, it will be fine, it will be fine, Keith chants to himself as Lance tosses the decorative paper — ‘decorative paper’ being old homework because Keith has no idea where the hell he’s supposed to buy fancy gift paper — behind him, digging into the bag. He stills as he pulls out the canvas. He’s absolutely silent as he looks at it, face completely blank.

Keith cracks.

“I know it’s kind of ugly. I mean, I tried, and Allura tried to help, but I’m kind of a hopeless painter —”

Lance still makes no face, long fingers just tracing the bulky painting.

“— I tried to use your favourite colours! The blue and the red and the purple —”

Lance makes a choked noise. Keith can’t tell if it’s good or not; and it makes him a great deal more frantic.

“—peonies are your favourite, right? And you like dandelions too so I thought —”

“Keith,” Lance finally says, hoarse and quiet. “I —”

“There’s a letter, too, and — oh.” The letter is clasped tightly in Lance’s hand. “You’ve already read it. Cool. Awesome. It’s —”

“Keith —”

“It doesn’t have to be a big deal, right? I mean —”

“Keith —”

Keith forces himself to breathe properly. He is not successful. He’s not quite hyperventilating, but by God he is on his way.

“It’s fine, it’s fine, I’ll just dip and you text me whenever —”

“Keith!” Lance shouts. “I’m going to kiss you now. On the mouth.”

By the time that sentence registers in Keith’s brain, sunshine and lavender overwhelms his senses, soft, smooth lips pressed insistently to his. Lance’s cool fingers press the sides of his neck, a gentle but insistent pressure.

“Oh,” Keith breathes.

“I love you too, dumbass,” Lance whispers against his lips. “God I love you.“

“That’s — okay.”

He feels Lance’s smile.

Because it is pressed. Against his lips.

Holy shit.

“That’s okay?“ “Yeah. Yeah. I — love you too. Lots.”

Lance laughs. “Enough to hand paint me flowers that will never die.” He presses another kiss to Keith’s lips.

It feels like springtime.

———

based on this post

[sweepseven]

Cirque du Soleil: Michael Jackson One review

OH BOY ARE WE GETTING COMPLEX.

I'll say up front that I was thrilled by the experience of watching MJ One. I sound like I'm hedging here because I am. With Ka (which was tragically dark the week I visited Vegas 😭), O, and Mystere always pulling at my heels and Love gone now, it was super unlikely I made the time to see this show at all. But I was convinced (THANK YOU @libralelia!!) and man am I grateful that I was. This show is a spectacle. I knew it would be going in, but I had no idea of the extent of it until I was in the thick of it.

Similar to Drawn To Life, I have some broader questions about whether a show like this can stay relevant (or even inoffensive) as its audience ages, so I'll get into that at the end. I'll warn you up front that my prediction is no. But before that, general show notes beneath the cut!

Theatre: Not as big as I imagined! I was surprised to learn its capacity is actually smaller than Mystere's - it's set up with a traditional front-on view of the stage and rather reminded me of Zarkana. Never really my fave setup for a resident show, but I suppose with the heavy projection use flat, predictable surfaces were easier to work with. Speakers were built right into the seats like at Ka and there were ramps along the sides that artists climb, hide behind, etc. The ramps' most exciting and dynamic moment was at the very beginning when the Muse burst out like a fucking solar flare and melted everyone's faces off with a guitar solo. What a way to start.

General tech thoughts: Projections! Holograms! Drones! Artists using the walls as a dance floor! Singers suspended overhead! Like a thousand separate set pieces! This show is at the top of its goddamn game. The backstage must be very tall because I have no idea how they'd store all this stuff otherwise. The use of light in this show is remarkable. And I don't mean stage lighting (though that is also excellent) - the amount of LEDs in this show is insane. Every part of this show glitters or glows to tremendous effect.

Plot: Four kids/teens/people of indeterminate age (though we had three in our performance) wander into Neverland (😬), stumble onto four iconic MJ items (a glove, shoes, sunglasses, and a hat, one for each kid), are warned not to touch them, and you'll never believe what they do. The general idea is that the four of them discover confidence and power through the music and spirit of Michael Jackson, which is corny but effective in its sincerity. Along the way they are stymied by Mephisto, which can only be described as an Evil Machine with malevolent yet incomprehensible intent. I guess he wants to keep this power locked away for himself. What is he? How did he get here? Why does he care? What are his goals? Don't worry about it, it does not matter.

Characters:

Kids - Another in the trend of Cirque's color-coded heroic groups. We were missing the kid who was paired with the glove, which is a shame because the manipulation act he's responsible for sounded deeply cool. His absence created a bit of confusion on what looked like might have been a romantic subplot and some imbalance in some staging decisions, but overall the characters were so secondary to the music that it wasn't too great a loss. They're throughline for a plot that I'm not convinced we needed, but they're bubbly and fun and unobstrusive so no biggie.

Tabloid Junkies - Bizarre and truthfully discomfiting. The costumes would have been cooler if I didn't feel like thematically they were ripping off the scrolling LED boards on their chests and beating me over the head with their meaning. "LIES. GOSSIP. RUMORS." I get it. I have no doubt these perils of fame were torturous to Michael in life. But the fact is some allegations were true, and the ones that were true were horrific. I think these characters' presence in this show is deeply out of place and borderline offensive. More on them below.

Mephisto - He's confusing but deeply cool tbh. Technologically he is incredible - a huge mass of screens and speakers and wires - and his presence is undeniably menacing. At first it seems like he's protecting the hat, gloves, etc. and thus the spirit of MJ, but that turns out not to be the case, then it seems like he was defeated like halfway through the show, but that turns out not to be the case, etc. Ordinarily this is exactly the sort of thing that irritates me, but tbh I didn't really care. Everything was just too big and fun to worry about plot intent, which is a testament to how effective the main components of the show are.

The Muse - Not to be a lesbian but oh my fucking god. oh my god. jesus fucking christ. I don't think there was a moment she was onstage that I was not staring at her. She was a force. of. nature. I feel like whenever I talk about Cirque stage presence I am way too often talking about men. THIS is the shit I want to see more of. More roles like this!!! More women like this!!! I can't imagine there was a woman in the audience that didn't want to be with her or be her. I need to fill my queue with one million pictures of her holy shit.

Ngame - The Mother Moon singer. She spent most of her time suspended inside a crescent moon suspended from the stage, and she was lovely. Occasionally I thought her performance was outshone by other vocals and I wished she'd been given more time to shine as an individual rather than a prop or background singer. This is an MJ show, we know the music is his. Let's hear her version more often, y'know?

Michael - Sigh. I dunno. I know it's his show, I know what we're here for. I just think it's misguided. Of course he's an icon, but there's a difference between celebrating an icon and outright hero worship. Some parts were very cool and effective, like the hologram that dances with the kids at the end. It was genuinely magical. But this entire show, especially the explicit inclusion of Michael's spirit as a character and plot driver, is tapping into a memory of a man that we know is pure fantasy. At several points he was shown as a child, and all I could think about was how horribly abused he was during that time. Like, why are we looking at him beaming and smiling? I would just as soon not have looked at him at all. More in the analysis section on this, too.

Act notes:

Spanish web - This guy used to do straps in Luzia! Good to see a familiar face. Cool act with a high skill level, but looked too simplistic given what we've seen the stage is capable of even at this early point in the show.

Shadowplay - Nice to see this in another show! Execution here strongly reminded me of Pilobolus. More traditional shows probably couldn't get away with a transition to this long of a shadowplay segment but it was really effective here.

Pole dancing - God DAMN. This act was NOT fucking around. This costume was a perfect example of the brilliance of this show's character and costume design. I don't think I could even tell you what she did in this act, but I could tell you every detail of what she looked like doing it. It was so energetic, fluid, powerful, and sexy. Super effective in all it attempts to do.

Trampoline - Loved it. Finally a new take on trampo wall!! When they lowered the matching trampoline from the ceiling, they make you wait before they do exactly what you hope they will: ping pong a dude between both floor and ceiling over and over. It was a delight.

Dance notes (dance was constant and always phenomenal, so I'm just gonna mention the ones that stood out for one reason or another):

The Way You Make Me Feel - LOVE. LOVE. One of my favorite moments of the entire show. The set (a mechanic shop) was dynamic and heavily textured, they raised and lowered pieces, the choreography was tight as fuck, it had that "pick your favorite" element of similar-but-different looking characters that's always a good time. It really had it all. This number knew exactly what it was - fun, light, and sexy. Perfect execution.

Thriller - Okay hot take but I don't particularly care for this song, and thus didn't feel much of anything about this dance beyond that it was fun. The entire stage is utilized (love), it feels like the entire cast is involved (love), and there's aisle interaction with the audience (love), but it's clear this moment was supposed to be a crescendo in the "story" and that didn't connect for me. Upon reading it seems this was supposed to be Mephisto's final attack or something, so that explains the evil angle and build-up. It's too bad the song practically the whole audience waits for is undercut a little bit by its references to a plot that stopped being comprehensible like sixty minutes prior.

Man in the Mirror - The hologram had me thinking all sorts of things! On the one hand he honest to god looked real. Like that's Michael Jackson, he's real and he's dancing right in front of me. I have no idea how they made this happen. On the other hand we just spent an entire show treating him like this larger than life figure, and now we see him next to dancers and suddenly remember he was less than six feet tall. This juxtaposition was smoothed over by a very cool effect where he burst into little lights and danced with the kids to show how his spirit lived on. It did look very magical, but as with a lot of things in this show, there was an undercurrent of ://// do we really want to be sending this message in this particular way? Regardless it was an effective way to button up the show.

Song notes (same here - constant music, all of it good, so just the standouts not mentioned in other forms above):

They Don't Care About Us - This was the song that made me go wait, this show is saying something. I don't know a lot about Michael Jackson's activism beyond world hunger, but this was eye-opening. It did an intensely visceral job of yanking the audience's attention, holding it to the screen, and screaming "This is still happening! This is still relevant!" And it was updated!! We're going from images of the Civil Rights Movement to the KKK to the AIDS crisis to world hunger and then they hit us with some pandemic shit! Some Black Lives Matter! I loved it!! This was one of my favorite moments of the entire show. Very intense and serious without disrupting the flow or tone of the rest of the show. If anything it added depth and nuance. I was curious how conservative audience members tended to react to this part now that politics are so dreadfully divergent nowadays. I personally wanted to stand up and applaud Cirque for going there. Fuck yes. More of this.

Black or White - What a fun finale :))) Lighthearted, a touchstone for the kids' journey, but also a little bit of a reminder to the audience of the message of equality Michael Jackson stood for, and an encouragement to carry that message forward.

Analysis:

Get ready for a tone shift.

Okay so obviously I really liked this show. But every part I didn't care for, I likely didn't care for because it was explicitly ignoring truths about Michael Jackson that absolutely no one can refute, deny, or defend. He is an extremely public, tragic example of the cycle of abuse and its complexity. This show ignores all of it. This show would ignore every allegation, every court case, every instance of his own childhood abuse because the music is fun.

But this show can't have it both ways. You can't feature so much footage of him as one of the Jackson Five, beaming bright as the sun, and not accidentally remind the audience that he was abused during that time. You can't stop the audience from thinking that experience is likely one of a million others that contributed to what he later went onto inflict on others. You can't have a segment like They Don't Care About Us yet expect us as an audience set aside the truth of the sexual abuse he committed. If we do, the audience becomes the "they." The audience is the "they" that doesn't care about an "us" that would never set foot in that theater - actual, living people whose lives were forever damaged and whose abuser died before they could see any amount of justice. You can't feature projections of Neverland - let alone include the spirit of Michael Jackson welcoming children in and encouraging them to take his things - without drawing a direct line between the show and his actual, real life actions.

How's this for a timeline:

2005: Michael Jackson is acquitted.

2011-2014: Cirque's Michael Jackson: The Immortal World Tour show runs. In this time it visits nearly 200 cities worldwide.

2013: Michael Jackson ONE premieres

2013-2014: Wade Robson and James Safechuck file suits against the Jackson estate and his companies

That now, ten years after that suit was filed, Cirque du Soleil parades around characters called Tabloid Junkies wearing bold LED signs screaming LIES, RUMOR, GOSSIP is truthfully reprehensible. The longer I've sat with this, the more it has bothered me, and in writing this I'm literally returning to the top of this post to delete an otherwise bubbly paragraph about my Vegas trip overall because it just doesn't sit right with me. This show is fun. This show is innovative. This show should not exist.

But it does. And it will continue to do so as long as it makes money, which does not seem like a challenge for it. In a world where this show must go on, it is better off existing as a celebration of the music, not the man. Whether that's possible given how intrinsically linked the two are, I don't know.

So what's next? The show's audience ages, for better or worse. Those that grew up caring about Michael Jackson, listening to or enjoying him live, will eventually no longer be making trips to Vegas. The middle generation - mine - who knew who he was but had plenty of other stars to adore, knows more than enough to discourage them from paying to attend. The generation behind that either doesn't care about who he is, or knows and is sorry not to have the opportunity to cancel him themselves. Or maybe they will know and they won't care. I can't say. I've seen Gen Z make some pretty wild excuses in the name of "just fun."

This review has suddenly gone harsh, but overall my feelings are as complex as the show's existence itself. It's a fun show. I had fun. But if you look at it too closely the experience sours and I suppose that's where I'm landing on this. If anyone has not yet seen HBO's Leaving Neverland and is wondering how I could possibly get so dark about a circus show, I strongly encourage you to watch it. This show is a blast. I smiled throughout. I was blown away. I'm glad I didn't give his estate a dime to see it.

[navree]

me @ you calling Lucerys boring! 😆 come on, he's just a kid! cutting out aemond's eye was bad, i agree, but i don't think he was as bland as everyone says. his imposter syndrome in 8 and 10 was interesting to watch at least. he was a brave little boy.

I mean I don't really see anything brave about bringing a knife to a fight he not only had fuck all to do with but where he was clearly at fault (Aemond did nothing wrong, he tamed a free dragon, Baela and Rhaena get a pass because they're grieving but Jace and Luke had no business being involved and certainly no business escalating into 4 v 1 violence against the clear cut victim), trying to literally murder someone because I don't know what the fuck you're trying to do when you stab a knife at someone's face but it's certainly not a warning shot, showing zero remorse for it at all, and at worse acting like a little snot when in the same room with your victim. The fact that Luke got away with this scot free (didn't he literally say "I didn't do anything" you boring little asshole you stabbed out someone's eye that is the opposite of not doing anything!) is an absolute travesty of justice that stains everyone involved (mostly Viserys and Luke but I'm not letting Rhaenyra "pls torture the ten year old stabbing victim until he tells me how he figured out that these white dark haired children aren't the sons of my black platinum blond husband" Targaryen off the hook either). Aemond could have died, not only from the initial wound, but from the myriad of infections or other issues that could have plagued him during the healing process. For God's sake, Viserys nicks himself on the Iron Throne and they have to lop off his arm, his infected injuries and their treatment have already made him pretty firmly decrepit by Driftmark, the fact that Aemond healed without any serious and lifelong and further damaging complication is a goddamn miracle. And even kids know that murder is bad, I'm pretty sure that if I were Lucerys's age and I tried to commit homicide I'd have to deal with some consequences.

And I'm sorry, but I call him boring because he is! They wrote a boring character! That's not on me for picking up on it, that's on the writers and the myriad choices they made that led to them severely underdeveloping several characters, most prominently Lucerys (Jace and Baela and Rhaena at least get another season of life to develop further, Luke gets four episodes and they knew that going in). This is a song I've been singing literally since the show was airing and it's not gonna change, cuz he's dead and therefore stuck with his boring character and complete lack of characterization.

Him being a kid is not a character trait, and it certainly doesn't make him more interesting anymore than, say, his eye color would. The impostor syndrome thing they kinda tried didn't really work because 1) it's not impostor syndrome if it's true, he's not a Velaryon and Vaemond was 99% in the right in that entire thing (I don't like him throwing out misogynistic slurs, you can point out that these aren't Velaryons but Strong bastards without stooping to calling Rhaenyra a whore, I hate men sometimes) 2) in episode 8 it exists for one single line and is not a driving force for him at all for the remainder of the episode to the point that it could be cut out and mean nothing, especially since that scene was only there to introduce adult Aemond and 3) it doesn't even make sense because the person who was set up as having issues with his lack of Velaryon heritage and Harwin being his father was Jace. Jace is the one who hears the rumors and clocks it early on in childhood, Jace is the one who is deeply affected by it to the point of bitterness towards his own mother, Jace is the one who grieves Harwin but also feels angry that he can't express it. All of that was set up as part of Jace's arc, not at all Luke's, who is literally set dressing up until he decides to commit criminal offenses in the middle of the night. And then time skip, and suddenly Jace is A-OK and Luke, who has shown no issue before now (or any personality at all) is slightly concerned about it for one line in episode 8 before going back to being a piece of cardboard until episode 10.

And I'll be honest, the second that scene came out in episode 10, I immediately saw it for what it was, which was a very obvious patch job. The writers were clearly aware that they had not given the viewers any reason at all to care about Luke one way or another, so we weren't going to feel a lot when Vhagar (deservedly, imo) munches on him. So they hastily added in this really heavy-handed scene of poor uwu soft boy Lukey who is so concerned with doing right and needs to blink up tearfully at Mommy and be her sweet boy and get little kisses to assuage his worries, so that we'd feel some emotion and then be said when he becomes the Jonah to Vhagar's whale. It just doesn't work because there was nothing for him before then and therefore I don't care, I just feel bad Rhaenyra.

Luke is a bland and boring character. That's not an attack, that's just what the writers did. They tried to cram too much into a ten episode season, literally twenty years of history, and it caused a lot of characterization problems for a lot of characters, particularly for the Team Black ones. And a consequence of that is that the character with the least amount of time for development got not development and no personality. He's a plank of wood, he's a platonic version of the sexy lamp trope; there's nothing there and he exists only for us to feel bad when the lamp is smashed. Seriously, name me five individual character traits that Lucerys has. He's a momma's boy, even though I'm not really sure that's a character trait but I'll give it to him, and I guess he's devoid of empathy, considering that he doesn't appear to feel literally any remorse for mutilating Aemond (seriously, is it like the Dothraki and "thank you"? does the word "sorry" not exist in Valyrian languages? you can't even send an apology gift basket or a note?). But he's not brave, as there is no scene that shows any bravery or courage, and he's not noble or kind or thoughtful because there's nothing that shows any of that, or anything that shows him being the opposite, cruel or cowardly or weak, because he's a basically a character who could be played by sticking a wig on a mop and waving it around. And any characterization of insecurity exists as something hamfistedly crowbarred in at the last minute in his final episode to try to manipulate the audience's emotions with less sensitivity than D&D trying to tug at our heartstrings by having Drogon try to nudge Dany awake after she's killed.

But there is a character that I do consider to be a brave little boy, though I regret to inform y'all that it is Not a fourteen year old with no depth or personality or written characterization whose main claim to fame is maiming a person without apology and then dying. Nah, the brave little boy title goes to post-Driftmark Aemond. Aemond, at ten, is delivered a life altering injury whose recovery was likely very slow and very painful, involved a lot of worry about whether he'd have to deal with infection or further risk of death, and had to relearn how to do literally everything now that he was half blind, and he did all of it. He survived, and he thrived. He relearned how to walk, how to balance, his spatial awareness. He learned how to fought and even became incredibly good at it, and maintained his bond with Vhagar, as well as trying to keep himself mentally sharp as well. He did all of that, despite the huge setback he was dealt with at age ten. That's brave, go Aemond.

[shivasdarknight]

Time for your regularly scheduled, "Killjoy Hour with Enya" because we're being a killjoy about Dawntrail (:

So first and foremost: fuck Square and the XIV team for taking this angle. We could've gone any direction and we're going with Colonizer The Adventure. They looked at what we did on the Steppe with Hien and went "let's do it again! :D"

Mandatory CW for racism as it pertains to the indigenous peoples of North America, Mesoamerica and South America, and discussion of the genocide enacted by Spain against Mesoamerica and South America.

(Sections and the first letter of each sentence have been bolded for ease of reading)

But to explain further: Square has a really awful track record with their take on Tural, the "New World", especially in their handling of the Mamoolj'aa that are in Eorzea. This has been an issue since ARR and has been frequently criticized due to their extremely anti-indigenous writing. The way they handle the Eorzean tribes (which have been known as "beast tribes" and "beastmen" for a good part of the past decade that XIV has been around, I Should Not have to explain to you why that's deeply problematic) is an issue in its own right, but I'll only touch on what we've seen of Tural in the game itself and why this doesn't bode well for Dawntrail.

Let's get the obvious one out of the way first, this fucking shit:

For those unaware, this is the New World set. It's a craftable gear set from Heavensward that players can wear as a goddamned costume. I shouldn't have to be saying this in 2023, but this set has caused a great deal of controversy because it's a bastardization of plains tribe regalia. Square never should have added it to the game, but here it is and players constantly wear it in further offensive glams.

The only instance of this set being used with NPCs is in the Blue Mage quests and what we see of the Whalaqee. Again, to those unaware: the ARR Blue Mage quests are an extremely racist storyline that plays into white savior narratives and more offensive caricatures. The only representatives that we get to interact with of the Whalaqee are a little boy in this outfit (who's also extremely pale), and two Mamoolj'aa who are the lackeys of Martyn, the job trainer for Blue Mage - a white man! Further, the magic is notably not from Eorzea and is instead a cultural practice of the Whalaqee that Martyn took and turned into profit, and he's who you're supposed to work for. You are - yet again - considered a master of the practice, and this is written in mind with a default white man in mind considering Meteor being the stand in for everything. There is in-game appropriation of cultural practices, clothing, and tools but it gets worse the further you go into them.

The main plot of the ARR quests is that the Whalaqee are dying from a plague brought toTural by Martyn and other researchers with the Arcanist's guild 🙃 There were two trips: one to study Blue Magic, and one where people from the first trip went back because they found ceruleum in the sacred lands of the Whalaqee and began drilling for it. But remember: you only get to meet the Whalaqee through the two Mamoolj'aa and the Whalaqee child. The fate of the tribe rests in an Eorzean's hands because they put the medicine behind a bet for the further profit of Ul'dah. Win the carnival and make the owner a bunch of money and you get the medicine; lose, and they go raid the place for ceruleum and wipe out the tribe. It's a deeply offensive storyline that turns past and ongoing horrors that indigenous peoples - especially those of North America and Mesoamerica - have faced and are still facing into some trivial goal for a questline for a joke job that's solved through the white savior trope.

Then, of course, there's how the Mamoolj'aa are generally treated. Like the other ARR tribes and anyone the game doesn't consider civilized, their dialogue is written in broken speech patterns to reflect "lower intelligence." They're one of the only ARR tribes (next to the Qiqirn, who only got that somewhat through the SHB Qitari quests) that haven't gotten any kind of humanizing that the others have seen over the years (and even then, that's only been recently). Throughout ARR-HVW storylines, they're portrayed as extremely aggressive, are often throwaway mercs for hire around La Noscea, and they have them use this "cultural dance" of theirs that's described as extremely suggestive and is frequently used to sexually harass the white women of Eorzea. They're also seen in the Wanderer's Palace (Hard) as "aggressive barbarian" types who enslaved the Tonberries, which were originally the Spoken of Nym (so y'know, predominantly white society that became malformed and gangrenous tonberries). And your job as the Warrior of Light is, naturally, to exterminate them. There's other stuff like the naming of abilities they use (frequent use of barbarian/barbaric, which in it of itself is problematic), the totems and standards that you're actively encouraged to destroy, the shaman stuff + the fact that again: they're the only ARR tribe that never got the same kind of humanizing lens that tribes like the Sylphs got early on, or like the Amalj'aa got only recently.

Dawntrail looks to be as if it might be that humanizing effort that began in Stormblood and was most prominent in 5.X (ARR-SHB tribe side quests don't count as it's side content, not MSQ), but of course there comes the problem: beyond them never treating the Mamoolj'aa with any respect in the content we already have, they've already framed 7.0 as you meddling in the rite of succession for this new area. An area that is ruled by a two-headed Mamoolj'aa that we have to help overthrow (which is not new, as a two-headed Mamoolj'aa was already shown in The Wanderer's Palace (Hard) - but that one was portrayed as brutish, unintelligent, and played into inbred stuff as...the final boss of the dungeon who gets a special end dungeon cutscene to showcase the Tonberries brutalizing his corpse). And again, this plot thread isn't new! We already helped Hien do that to the Steppe back in Stormblood! This is yet another instance of the game treating imperialism and colonization as a fun thing for you to get in on, especially since they're using the setting and the getting to the setting as a summer vacation.

The fact that they are framing Dawntrail as summer vacation-like is insidious. You are a party of fantasy Europeans sailing to fantasy Mesoamerica/South America to meddle in their governing process.

And let's quickly go over that: the fact Tural is the "New World" as you search for "a city of gold."

These names are rooted heavily in European colonization. The idea that Europe is the "civilized Old World" and that the Americas were the "uncivilized, waiting-to-be-conquered New World" is what drove the colonization of the region, especially in Mesoamerica and South America. The term "New World" is inseparable from white supremacist narratives about the colonizers that engaged with the peoples of the Americas. It's bad enough that XIV introduced Tural as "the New World" to begin with and populated it with a fantasy race that's characterized by violence, a lack of intelligence, and sexual harassment + a gross caricature of North American plains nations, but they have now made it into the destination for the Scions' "summer vacation adventure"? So that you can go do an imperialism there, too? They even framed it as some tropical paradise as if that's not an extension of how colonization of these regions is perpetuated today through the tourism industry.

The other term - city of gold - was a myth that was used as the excuse to ransack Mesoamerica and South America. You've definitely seen it, as that was the entire plot of Road to El Dorado. It was under this pretense that Spanish colonizers decimated indigenous populations in the search of glory and gold. The search for the "city of gold" in the "New World" was a mass genocide - enabled through widespread massacre, and a vicious plague that wiped out 80% of just the population in Mexico alone.

In Mexico, the pestilence reached the Aztec capital, Tenochtitlan, before its fall in 1521. Pathogens also reached Peru, inciting a civil war among the Incas. Both of these situations were extremely favorable for Spain. The plague—cocoliztli—was the most devastating post-conquest epidemic in large parts of Mexico, wiping out somewhere around 80 percent of the native population.

(from "How Aztecs Reacted to Colonial Epidemics" by Richard Herzog on JSTOR)

This is not a subject to touch upon lightly in any respect. And for XIV to use it for their "fun adventure in a foreign land" is deeply inappropriate and frankly disgusting. But is anyone surprised? This is the same company that ignored the demands of the Saami council to remove the offensive Far Northern attire from the store.

What I'm disappointed the most about, however, is the number of fans chomping at the bit with angles about a tropical tourist destination, taking the summer vacation angle the devs are actively encouraging, and even stuff with pirates (do not get me started on how white pirates contributed to colonization of the Americas). As a friend put it very aptly: how do you see "new world," "city of gold," and a fleet of European ships sailing towards fantasy Mesoamerica and not get skeeved out at the prospect? This isn't something you should be excited about because they're having us role play imperialism Yet Again. But this time, it's all to the tune of "tropical summer vacation in a foreign land". And y'all are excited to join in?

I don't want the expansion to turn out this way. We barely have any information on this, I understand. But what I've laid out here is what the game has already done with regards to Tural's pre-7.0 depictions and what they've shown they want to continue perpetuating. If Dawntrail turns out to be somewhat decent (and it better be better handled than Thavnair and feature fewer white people populating the countries that are inspired by black and brown cultures), then fine. But as it stands, Square has not given us any reason to trust them in how they've handled their indigenous stories leading up to 7.0. This entire concept is rife with the potential to be extremely offensive and extremely racist, and the main takeaway most fans seem to have from this isn't that this is a gross depiction of indigenous cultures, but instead a fun summer vacation with the Scions?

Really?

[absolutebl]

Kpop end of 2022 shows

In which I mostly slam 4th gen boy groups, so if you’re a stan skip this post or go in prepared to be offended. I am aware that this is off brand for this blog. But I’m also aware that I have a number of followers who are as deeply into Kpop as me, and...

who probably will unfollow me after reading this. Oh well, I’m gonna do it anyway. This is my tiny corner of the internet. MINE I tell you!  

Look, there was no Between Us airing today, and so nothing for me to get my watch-along snark out on except for the 2 Kpop shows that Viki popped into my feed. So skip this post if that’s not your thing. 

2022 Gayo Daejeon (stadium event) 

OMG! Either mic them properly or don’t mic them at all! This is a music concert, right? Why can’t Korea ever fucking get the sound right in these goddamn bonanza shows? I had this problem with Kingdom (arguably more of an issue since that was supposedly made for TV) but it’s 100 times worse with this show. It’s so frustrating. 

For example, with NCT, why is Johnny’s the only hot mic in the group? Sound tech on stuff out of Korea is mind numbingly confusing and ear wrenchingly annoying. I am reminded why I never watch the live shows and never go to Kpop concerts.

And now, here’s some offensive thoughts and unpopular opinions:

Yeonjun of TXT is one of the best 4th gen dancers ever fielded, and one of the better all rounders. But Kpop stylists gotta learn how to dress a dancer so that they can be properly watched, ya know, WHEN THEY ARE DANCING. No puffer vests, you brainless fashionista numb-nuts. Poor thing kept having to do wardrobe adjustments. Honestly, this plus their red carpet looks this year? 

TXT desperately needs a new stylist.

Stray Kids

As a group? They really can’t sing very well or consistently, their strength is in their performance and rapping. And their rappers MUST to be micced hot for live - just KILL 3racha's backup recording, okay? They can handle it. Otherwise please just let them all lip-synch so we can watch them perform. It’s a much better experience.

NCT

Yuta has more charisma in his little finger than Taeyong has in his whole entire body. Doyoung is an incredibly underrated vocalist. Their’s was some of the worst miccing and sound of the night (which is saying a lot considering how terrible it was the whole time). Fantastic use of the stage tho. One the best stadium performance I’ve seen since GOT7. Also, 2 Baddies is an objectively terrible song - which is probably why it’s so popular.

The Boyz

Definitely the prettiest, how are they consistently so glorious on their visuals? Sunwoo keeps getting hotter, it’s patently unfair. But, oh my god, if you are going to have a group sing ballads, then bring 2nd (Highlight) or 3rd (BTOB) gens up there don’t use The Boyz (or SK for that matter). No one wants to hear unstable vocals, even if it’s a CNBLUE cover. Is it weird that The Boyz make me miss Seventeen? Same vibe... better syncopation. 17 is not as pretty tho.

Who is? 

Well, UNIQ of course. But I don’t wanna talk about that. 

Ateez

Jongho is the only 4th gen idol in existence who doesn’t need a mic even in a goddamn stadium. He is insane. But there is a reason the boy likes a handheld mic, because he takes his vocals seriously. And still the sound tech didn’t trust him enough to leave that mic hot? Frankly, it’s a crime that Jongho’s voice is wasted on a performance group. (Yes, I said it.) But Ateez did give the best stage of the night. They really are one of the industry’s hardest working groups at the moment. I’m a little worried they’re being pushed too much.

Enhyphen

Actually singing for a change *gasp* what will they do without auto tune? Ooof, I’m hella mean tonight. And... they seem to have been practicing their vocals since last time. Honestly? They lack the stage presence of some of the more experienced 4th gens. NCT fucking EATS up a stadium. Enhyphen looked a little sad up there by comparison.

MBC 2022 (New Year's showcase) 

Much better sound (mostly lip-synching) and most groups handle a showcase stage better than a stadium. 

The MC team was better on this one. 

Any time the Boyz and Ateez would like to dance together, I will be happy to watch it happen.

I’m not particularly interested in either of them, but Tempest and Kepler covering Pretty U was pretty damn cute. But younger boy groups + younger girl groups intermixing on stage always comes off as awkward. Dancers should be dancing together when they share a stage together. It’s weird when they are clearly afraid to touch each other. 

Hanbin is such sunshine, so pleased to see a Vietnamese idol at last.

As expected the bands doing live Krock had the best music performances. Well and the opera singers, of course. 

NCT’s Jungwoo is Taemin’s little brother, they look too much alike, you cannot persuade me otherwise. 

It’s a sin that Jeahyun hasn’t has a break away acting role yet. No babies, he really isn’t going to do us a BL. 

It’s always great when the surfeit of music shows at the end of the year forces a group like NCT to divide and conquer, because we get to see some of the lesser publicized members do some killer performing. 

NCT’s choreographer is phenomenal. Best in the biz? 

A sexy cover of Love Killa is fine but if you can’t go hard on Monsta X’s raps then why bother? This only made me want to go watch the original. Which I did. 

I’d like to see SK cover Monsta X but that’s about it. Maybe P1H.

Speaking of MX. Why did they cover a song where Kihyun (one of the most consistent voices in Kpop) mostly has to sing falsetto? What a damn waste. 

Fun to see IM getting more confident in his vocals but I’d still rather see the MX maknae line rap. 

And… thank you for doing an end of year stage Monsta X! Holding onto my beloved 3rd gens by the skin of my teeth here. Look I just love them, okay? Even down 2 members Monsta X goes harder than other groups, but effortlessly. They gave the best performance of my whole night, both shows, 6 hours of content and I’m just left wanting to watch MX comeback stages.  

Am I 3rd gen biased? 

Probably. 

Bite me. But only if you can do it as hard as Monsta X would. 

[june16th2018]

things i deeply hate in tokyo revengers (and its fandom)

tw opinions

(disclaimer: tkr is one of my fav manga ever)

1 • the animation

the anime adaptation is absolutely hideous and extremely offensive bc what the fuck?? this is so bad and yet yall are eating it up.

everytime i see an edit of the anime i just start shaking and sobbing uncontrollably (especially the takemichi ones bc how can you guys find him handsome in the anime when he's even uglier than kiyomasa)

my friends and i have this really fun challenge where we have to watch a tokyo revengers episode without laughing at the animation (we always end up failing after like 3 minutes)

2 • those dumb kokonui shippers 🤓

don't get me wrong, i love this ship sm i want them to get married and have kids

i just hate ppl who enjoy this ship for this exact panel :

it wasn't romantic shut the fuck up

koko is a really well-written character who is clearly in pain after losing a girl he was in love with (as silly and childish his crush on her might have seemed) and with a very visible mental instability, and yall are choosing to close your 12 years old ass eyes on that just so you can have ship content, gross

again, i love kokonui, but stfu

3 • the toxic y/n/ocs enjoyers

i don't see the point of calling shippers weird if you are yourself a characterxreader enjoyer or an oc creator 🤓

4 • most likely to be a pedo 😇

those weird grown ass ppl drawing or writing the characters in a very sexual way?? if it's a fanart/fanfiction of their adult version then i guess it's okay but the ones when they keep the design of the 2005-6 timeline?? hello??

same goes for grown ass ppl enjoying this content

5 • mischaracterization

chifuyu isn't a soft baby 🥺 stop treating him and drawing him like a goddamn baby it's just embarrassing as hell. same goes for takemichi, yall are wild 💀💀

sanzu isn't canonically a crackhead (i still eat this hc up but just bc we saw him take a pill ONCE doesn't mean he's an actual drug addict like what if he just had a headache and needed aspirin)

koko isn't a sad and exhausted workaholic in bonten, the only panel of his bonten version we got was his wide goofy sassy ass smile and he was saying smth about killing ppl i don't quite remember 💀

draken is in love with emma, i'm tired of seeing drakey shippers in denial, like yes he does give a fuck about her, stop saying he doesn't 💀 also their ship is awesome i love them sm

btw little reminder to every kisanma/hankisa enjoyers : kisaki is homophobic

6 • "takemichi x all"

this might actually be the worst thing ever

takemichi isn't the ultimate rizzler yall

this is embarrassing and yall need to grow up 😐

7 • the way yall are sleeping on naoto

this man is so fine plus he's so determined to save his sister i know my brother would never do the same 💀

8 • the neverending bajifuyu vs ryufuyu war

why

[gunnerkriggcritical]

Feel free to not answer this if you don’t want to or are uncomfortable but what would be a way for Tony to become sympathetic in your eyes? If you wrote Gunnerkrigg court what would you do with Tony?

I'm gonna try and put this into words as best I can, but it's difficult. I hope this makes sense.

Honestly, nobody crucify me for this, but... I think Tony is inherently sympathetic the way he is now? Like, all the basic ingredients to Tony's story make up someone I could very easily feel sorry for. I would not have an inherent problem with being asked to see him in shades of grey. I freely admit that he's been through a lot of pain in his life. It's just the execution that leaves me unhappy.

What I have a problem with is chapters like "Annie and the Fire," and especially "The Mind Cage." They're about as subtle as a brick in asking Annie, and especially the reader, to forgive Tony because he's been through a lot. No matter how many times we're told Tony's actions aren't excused by his pain, it doesn't disguise the transparent fact that the comic is asking us to excuse his actions and feel really, really bad for him. It reads like the author getting mad at us for interpreting his story "incorrectly," which really raises the reader's hackles, and for good reason.

I find it difficult to think of how I'd fix this - I'm sure people smarter than me have articulated it way better in the past. Let's begin with "Annie and the Fire." I don't have a problem with the reader being shown why Tony did everything that he did - and that he deeply regrets it - but I would probably remove the framing device where Donnie is purposefully showing Annie the conversation. I would rather have Annie somehow slipping her blinker stone into her dad's clothes or something and eavesdropping on him that way. Having Donnie specifically choose to show Annie "the other side" of Tony feels too much like apologism, no matter how much Donnie (and the author) try to convince us otherwise. And the idea of Donnie specifically trying to show this abused child that her dad isn't so bad after all leaves a really bad taste in my mouth, too, especially since Donnie was previously like, one of the sole reasonable adults in the entire comic, lol.

I would just erase "The Mind Cage." Like, entirely. No more "Mind Cage" period. That chapter is such a cringeworthy blunder in the comic's history. It is so obviously calculated to address reader backlash against Tony and the comic simply doesn't need it. On top of that, I would remove like, almost every reference to Tony's mind cage situation, I think. The concept that he can't talk to more than one person at once is so goddamn silly and poorly thought-out, and I say this as an autistic person with severe social anxiety myself. I will say that I do understand where Tom was coming from and what he was trying to do, I just think it was very poorly executed and comes across as so weird and borderline offensive to neurodivergent experiences. It's a no from me. Take it out.

At most, imply Tony's social difficulties through his actions. Rewrite the arc where Kat forgives him - don't just have it happening instantly and offscreen, which is so jarring and almost sickening after years of her being Annie's staunchest defender. And for god's sake don't have Annie expressing that she doesn't care what her dad does and will love him no matter what, frame this as an unambiguously good and cool thing, and have Jones, the impartial observer character, judge that this situation is fine actually.

Related note: "Get Lost" needs rewrites, too. Tony is simply not charming enough in that chapter to make us believe that Surma, and Kat, and everyone else, would be bamboozled by how cool and funny he is. He's just some dude. He's so bland, and so is his and Surma's romance. It's simply not believable. That chapter needs to be a slam dunk - it's pulling a lot of weight to convince the readers of a lot of things at once, and it's simply not working.

I think there is a fundamental problem that needs to be addressed before we deal with any of this: the comic is being written by an author that dislikes its main character and sees her as a spoiled child who deserves harsh punishment for her actions. This is in direct conflict with his readers, who have interpreted the story thus far as being about an abused and neglected kid who doesn't deserve any of the stuff that's happened to her, even if she's been cheating on her schoolwork and acting out a little. I believe Tom sees Tony's actions as at least a little justified because of this. If this wasn't the case, I think he would be more capable of writing the story in a way that readers would be more able to connect with and understand, rather than reacting with revulsion and confusion because, to us, he's depicting an abused child getting constantly knocked back down by her cruel father. Tom's biases are showing very clearly through his work, and he is not treating his story with the nuance it deserves, not anymore. I don't think there's any way to "fix" this, other than Tom having a come-to-Jesus moment, which is just not likely at this point, sad to say.

This obviously doesn't cover it all, not even close. It's just some rambling thoughts from me, and I hope they made at least a little sense. Thanks for this ask.

[milfzatannaz]

you see, I never actually want to have black characters from my region get really popular bc to be frank fandom white people are so fucking cluelessly racist that sometimes I wonder if they’re aware it’s no longer the 1800s. visiting a Louisiana plantation with a goddamn funko pop is so deeply offensive that I wonder if their next choice is to go take a selfie with a klansmen

[incorrectskyrimquotes]

Hookay oh my god I'm writing this post to put in my drafts so if this ever sees the light of day that means I've had enough of this very stupid argument. Atm I just need a way to get my thoughts and feelings out of me.

This is an insanely stupid thing to say. It's also extremely offensive. Oh and it's wrong.

Because I'm white passing irl, I've done mole work. (Getting into alt right social media groups, getting their info, and passing it along to other people who work to counter them.) It's an extremely exhausting job. But, no, generally, they don't. I can't really think of any video game "nazis" love.

And let's talk about the usage of that word. This is never an okay word to use lightly. Alt right =/= nazi. Nazism is a very specific AND ANTISEMITIC ideology. Someone who's alt right or far right might not necessarily ascribe to nazi philosophy.

If you truly, genuinely think that skyrim is nazi propaganda, then don't play it. Don't play it, don't talk about it, and leave the rest of the fandom alone about it. If you are SO convinced that the stormcloaks are nazis (and to be clear they very much aren't. They aren't even fascist which is another word yall use too lightly), then don't play the game. Otherwise, you are supporting what you perceive to be nazi propaganda.

This is an insane and extreme thing to say. As someone who does activism, real activism, irl, has had encounters with neonazis, and generally has fought these kinds of folk, you can't just use these words lightly. Nazism is a dangerous and inherently violent ideology.

It's also deeply, deeply antisemitic. Reducing the real and awful harm that nazism has done to the same level as You Don't Like A Video Game is disgusting. I happen to be Jewish (by blood, not by faith) as well as a person of color. Not that it should matter, honestly, but whenever this shit comes up people can and do just assume I'm white.

You people are out of your fucking minds. And you need to calm down and stop using extremely serious terms and words for a goddamn eleven year old video game.

[klysanderelias]

So apparently there IS a throwaway line in the antilles episode about how fulcrum is a codename they give to EVERY secret informant. I think I have to walk back some of my previous statements - I think I'm right, still, but I'll admit that like, the reveal isn't 'kallus was fulcrum ALL ALONG' but instead 'kallus is A fulcrum agent' and that's less offensive, but it still smacks of poor planning when they completely drop the idea for a full season AND in all of star wars (that I know of, I'm trying not to dig too deeply to avoid spoilers) there are only 3 fulcrum agents (kallus ahsoka and andor) that we see. Getting to see more use of fulcrum as a network would have made it less irritating, and of course the way Ahsoka worked in the first season-

Hey wait a second! She wasn't a fucking informant at all! She was literally giving orders to rebel cells! Ahsoka as fulcrum was literally calling shots for the ghost crew. You could argue she was GIVING them information, but as a handler, not as a secret spy!

And it's stupid to argue, because it doesn't matter (and because the sample size is so small) but at the core of it is that the kallus shit feels so forced. I'm not like 'oh wow that's cool', I literally immediately went back and brought up old episodes because I was like 'that's fucking wrong'. I literally stopped watching the show so I could argue the point. Regardless of whether I'm right, my reaction was to stop everything to check because I couldn't believe it.

And at the end of the day I don't feel like the difference between 'kallus was fulcrum ALL ALONG' and 'kallus is A fulcrum agent' changes anything about my core criticisms - that it's completely rewriting a villain to make them more palatable and set up an undeserved redemption arc OFFSCREEN. If you're going to redeem the genocidal white guy (WHICH YOU SHOULDN'T) at LEAST do it onscreen! At least SHOW ME him putting in the goddamn effort to be a better person instead of going 'oh he did it you just weren't looking in the right direction, now stop asking about it because it makes him feel bad'