#that’s actually gut wrenching
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happy birthday dj malik no one has ever babygirled quite like you’ve babygirled
#HES 32#that’s actually gut wrenching#we’re getting so old#happy birthday zayn#you are one of the hottest men alive i fear#and also ily#zayn malik#1d#one direction
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thinking about how the last time dazai wore all black was because of his position in the mafia.........now he will have to wear all black once more, but this time at kunikida's funeral
#is this anything or has the lack of sleep and the grief actually gotten to me#there's just smt so gut wrenching of him being dressed in mourning black and how it imitates the demon prodigy’s appearence#can you imagine the unadulterated pain that will well in his chest#me when my soft fluffy domestic ship suddenly becomes tragic and heartbreaking#how could asagiri do this to us#bsd#bsd 117#knkdz#kunikidazai
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happy 1st anniversary to one of the most stressful days of my entire life btw. wake up. watch Ruby Rose in RWBY get literally tortured in what has to be one of the most chilling scenes in all animated shows ever and eventually choose to die. attempt to recover for a few hours. 9pm hits. watch Luz Noceda in ToH Also Literally Die via crumbling away into dust. like????
#I mean One of these episodes had a happy ending so that was great but go d. this was so gut wrenching to go through TWICE#IN ONE DAY!!!!!#this was so unbelievably unfair to everyone ever#especially me#actually I still havent recovered#rwby#toh#the owl house#ruby rose#luz noceda#smokey speaks#500
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Mizu5 Fanart :3
tried to represent the gender dysphoria that mizuki most likely experiences
#pjsk#prsk fa#n25#nightcord at 25:00#niigo#mizuki akiyama#akiyama mizuki#transfem mizuki#mizuki project sekai#n25 mizuki#mizu5#niigo mizuki#mizuki pjsk#instead of brain there is mizuki#actually proud of this??#silly art#mizuki is my comfort character!! i say while drawing gut wrenching angst#darkness represents the urge to crawl out of one’s own skin due to gender dysphoria#the wounds represent how mizukis past experiences are always reopened whenever she thinks about telling ena !!
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The Helena diaz of it all has me fascinated. I’ve said for a long while that Eddie’s real issues are his mommy issues and this episode just cemented for me that we’re gonna explore that and deal with it.
Because it’s Helena who forced Eddie to grow up to fast - because her husband wasn’t around much - so she pushed Eddie into de facto parent and husband role ls - selfishly filling her needs and ignoring the damage it was doing to her son (it is a form of abuse in my book).
Eddie then had the audacity to fall in love with and marry Shannon and get her pregnant. It’s why Helena was always so off with Shannon - she was punishing her. She is also punishing Eddie for all of this and his refusal to return to El Paso only cemented further her bitterness and resentment.
Now she does have Ramon back she doesn’t need Eddie any longer to fill that role so she is still punishing him and part of that is tied into her glee over now getting to parent Christopher - something she has always been intent on doing the doppelgänger just gave her the opportunity- as well as allowing her to further punish her son and his love of Shannon.
Her barbed comments about building a pool were all about showing what she can provide Christopher - how she is parenting him better than Eddie - it’s part of her mind games - making Eddie feel like more of a failure as a parent to his son.
The reality of course is that the reverse is true - Helena’s parenting is all superficial, flash and showy - it isn’t the hard day to day parenting when things get tough and you have to be the bad guy. While Eddie has made mistakes, there is nothing superficial, flash, or showy about his parenting. It’s why bucks comments about Eddie being a great dad are so important.
Eddie feel like a failure right now and that he is entirely to blame for everything. But in reality, while he does bear a bit of the responsibility, the truth of the matter is that he needs to learn and deal with the fact that all of it actually stems from Helena and her abuse of her young son - Shannon never stood a chance just like Eddie never has.
#genuinely don’t see how she can get any sort of redemption arc#but this is 911 so maybe they’ll find a way 🤷🏻♀️#Helena’s treatment of Eddie is a form of child abuse - it has done so much damage to him psychologically#I do really hope we finally get to meet Sophia and adriana as part of this arc beciase I think it might be very revealing#I am also wondering if Ramon had a stache in the past - and that is what Eddie is subconsciously trying to mimic#and that is about him trying to regain his mothers affection - trying to fill that husband role she forced him into#and that shaving it off is a part of his dealing with that and choosing to free himself from her clutches#and in doing that - standing up for himself etc - it will be the trigger that v ring schristopher back#the catholic guilt and Eddie’s queerness is also all tied up in this - the church reinforces and condones Helena and her actions#the Catholic Church has a long history of abuse of children in all it’s horrendous forms#so Eddie seeking solace in that direction think it will help him find away back to Helena’s good books only for it to open a few doors he#has bolted shut#as for the queer aspect - forcing Eddie to grow up too fast and fill this role of husband to his mother and parent to his siblings means#Eddie never got the chance to learn who he actually is - to explore his sexuality and all that goes with that - at the age one normally#would - as a teenager and into your 20’s. it explains so much around his relationship with Shannon and dealing with the helana of it all#and the queerness of his identity - will also allow him to actually let Shannon go#Eddie’s arc is going to be incredible - heartbreaking and gut wrenching - but incredible#Helena diaz it’s on sight - she is evil and cannot be redeemed in my eyes!#911 spoilers#Thinky thoughts#eddie diaz#911 abc
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In the middle of all this 457 chaos there's me that lowkey ships junho and the salesman/ the recruiter/ddakji guy or whatever you're calling him
I mean have you look at them, imagine the banter we could've got
Like there's junho, a detective who's been trying to find his brother only to be led up to a brutal kids game competition in some sketchy island and also finds out the person who controls the said game is his very own brother that he's been searching for a long time that is also a previous winner in the game
And then there's the salesman (some people call him ddakji or dak ho) who's been trained to kill, to see people that played the games is lower than him like a trash since he was a teenager probably, who doesn't even know the purpose of life anymore, a literal mess, a maniac. That's also probably the one that recruit junho's brother into playing the games(a theory not sure if that would makes sense)
Just imagine that, I could write a few headcanons if anyone interested
And yes yes I know they didn't even interacted once for SHIT(and the only time they ever see one another was when one of them already died and the one died never also see him or does he?)
#rarepair so rare i hold on to the 17 fic in ao3 where they're the main pair like a fucking lifeline#ships that already sinks before its even had a chance to be an actual ship#i even imagine fake scenarios about them#i didn't imagine as a toxic yaoi like 457 i imagine they would be either the most tooth roting fluff ever or gut wrenching heavy angst#some people actually ships them in 2021#by “some” i mean like less than 10 probably#they called them#ddakho#so thats what im gonna call them#to keep the legacy going yk#hwang jun ho#the salesman#or#dak ho#as some people call him#and im gonna call him that too in the future probably#call me sick in the head im actually sick#like literally i randomly thinks about this while im laying in bed sick#and it hasn't leave my head since#so i had to write this#tell me if you're interested to hear more about what i think about them#bc now its my daily thoughts#squid game#squid game 2#457#gihun x inho#hwang in ho#this is the longest post ive ever written like literally not in any of the fandom I've ever been#junho x salesman
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Joke being someone that the neighborhood is slowly coming to trust more and more, I don’t know if I can fully articulate how much this means to me Joke even if he can’t really see it yet.
We all know Joke’s dream is to have a home, to belong. And after Ep7 it was pretty thoroughly crushed, EXCEPT IT WASNT!
In Joke’s eyes after Ep7 he had nothing. Grandma in hospital, Dad disowning him, Jack rejecting him. But we see IN Ep7 that isn’t true with how Tattoo, Arun, Hoy and even Hoy’s Mom welcome him in with open arms.
In this episode we see even MORE of it
His brother (although clearly misguided) seems to harbor only good feelings about Joke and encourages him to come around more, Hoy’s Mom immediately asks Joke for help when she can’t find Jack and trusts him. Grandma, (OUR MVP OF HELPING JOKE) constantly reassures him this episode. Hell even the owner of the bar has no bad things to say about Joke having to take some time off work (which is a wild concept in food industry imo)
Joke feels abandoned and alone, but even thought he can’t see the care others have for him it’s still there! It isn’t even misplaced gratitude, the neighborhood doesn’t know he’s the one who returned their items. They genuinely just care for Joke who cares about the area and the people in it.
#jack and joker#jack and joker: u steal my heart#jack and joker episode 8#jack & joker: u steal my heart!#jack & joker episode 8#jack & joker#I find the subtle hints that Joke isn’t as alone as he feels something gut wrenching actually#because when you’re spiraling into self loathing or depression or anxiety#when your mental health is BAD it FEELS like that#it feels so isolating and like youve let everyone around you down#but from the outside the people around you care#maybe just more subtly#lyric posts#lyricsandpapers#j&j
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how i look after saying the most gut wrenching things ྀིྀི
#girlblogging#female hysteria#girl interrupted#hell is a teenage girl#just girly things#im just a girl#menhera#girlhood#tumblr girls#mitski#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#lana del rey#lana del ray aesthetic#lana is god#coquette#deer#femcel#hyper feminine#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#this is what makes us girls#sweet angel#angelcore#sweet lolita#cinnamon girl#bpd vent#actually bpd#take this as sad#or disgusting#either way#i say some gut wrenching shit
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just think that it's maybe like really kinda a tiny bit cruel that chloe and joyce don't get to be together no matter what ending
#like dawg#bay over bae chloe's dead#bae over bay joyce dies#WHAT THE FUCK MAN 😭😭😭😭#can't have your cake and eat it too i get it but ill drink cement like#both endings are so gut wrenching in their own way#one just way more than the other#i kid you not bay over bae feels like grieving an actual person it worries me#or maybe i just need to stop feeling so attached to characters that aren't real#but where's the fun in that#chloe price#joyce price#life is strange#max caulfield#pricefield#bae over bay#4eva
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Seen a few people too many discuss the concept of Dragodile Baby 2 and my hot take is that there's no way in hell Crocodile would ever detransition just to go through nine months of horrible dysphoria again, let alone go through pregnancy ever again (or allow Ivankov to even touch him, what if they died and weren't able to trans Croc's gender again afterwards? Hell naw, ain't worth the risk)
But this leaves an opportunity for a Funnier Option:
Dragon wants another baby? Sure, but it's his turn to carry it >:)
#Moon posting#OP Meta#Dragodile#CW Pregnancy#Iva-chan's HRT is *MAGIC* HRT. You get a fully functional cis ass body. Dragon can be forcefemme'd and impregnated WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY#I just. Imagining the convo that would lead to this has me in hysterics okay#Like Crocodile completely casually telling Dragon off like ''I'm not going through pregancy again. Your turn''#Like he's not even SERIOUSLY suggesting Dragon do it (just refusing going through it again himself)#But then Dragon actually considders it#Innitially horrified by the thought but then figuring like. Crocodile went through it and survived. It can't be that bad can it#Dragon would have to learn the hard way just how Bad it would in fact be lmaooo#Also hey Dragon getting to experience Gender Dysphoria in Turbo Mode would give him like a better understanding of The Shit Croc went throu#He'd be able to understand Croc's feelings and appreciate what he put up with for their baby#Which would be great if they were actually getting back together after The Divorce etc etc#Also Croc would get to be a doting husband for his temporary-wife like he was meant to be and that's just great#Dragon flipflopping between horrible dysphoria and being head over heels for his mob boss husband being so gentle with him? Adorable#((Just for clarity this is not a critique of other people's idea of Dragodile Baby 2. I just wanted to share The Funnier Option))#((You know me I love two things; gut wrenching tragedies and comedy. That's it. The two genderdsdjfghsjkdfgh))
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Man i love arcane, the art is absolute perfection
but....
this? ^??? this fills me with rage because WHY THE FUCK IS HIS HAIR WHITE BUT HIS BEARD STAYS THE SAME!??!!
HE GOES TO THE SPIRITUAL VOID OF GAYNESS AND HIS BEAR JUST CAN'T BE ARSED TO CHANGE TO WHITE TOO???
WHY??
#but other than that complaint and the gut wrenching ending it was lovely#Even my grandma enjoyed it#I need to ask her who her fave was actually....#arcane#arcane jayce#jayvik#the inspectors rants
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my mice staring at the shadowy figure twitching, sobbing and cackling in front if a large glowing box at 3AM:
(i’m rereading crimson rivers)
#and then i go silent for an hour before it starts back up again#they’re so sick of me 🙏🙏#it’s actually so gut-wrenching to reread CR knowing what happens tho#crimson rivers#bizarrestars#zeppazariel#marauders#the hunger games au#regulus black#sirius black#james potter#barty crouch jr#evan rosier#marlene mckinnon#remus lupin#marauders era#harry potter marauders#dorcas meadowes#pandora lovegood#im going insane#ao3 fanfic#kachow !! (save me)
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finished persona 5 and the only thing i can take from this is how fucking robbed akechi fans were like fym you crafted the most tragic and gut wrenching character only for him to be missing for like 90% of the story and only show up in minor flashbacks or cutscenes and momentarily join ur team only to stab you in the back and proceed to be the most problematic bitch in the game despite not even having a palace
#oh not to mention making anime.com’s top 10 most gut wrenching last words#“i was such a fool” i’m going to jump#they should’ve just let him have a palace cmon atlus that shit would’ve fucked so hard#wasted potential etc etc#yea time to replay and actually get the royal ending so i get more content of him i just wanted to play the game regularly first#they hate me bc i got p5r but still wanted to do the normal ending first (i made the right call)#horrible bastard i hope he dies in this version too#p5#goro akechi#oh also expect some persona art bc i haven’t posted anything for like a month and i have a huge backlog of p5 art that i need to color
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Are there any other Viktor fans in mourning out there?
#i cried what did they do to my boy#imagine hyperfixating on a character and then someone goes “uhm. actually. theyre completely different now.”#and though you were told before it's not canon... suddenly it is#imagine waiting in anticipation for the world to become the one you expect and love only for it to be wrenched away#i feel gutted#arcane#viktor#arcane spoilers
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If I told yall that this is one of my favorite scenes in the whole series, would you believe me? As much as I love damianya, what REALLY makes SxF stand out to me is the political nuance and care that Endo puts into his work.
This scene in particular has stuck out to me because I know it could very well apply to me as well. If I was told that the guy getting punched was a nazi, I'd have the same "positive" reaction, even though there's no verifiable evidence for that. And I think it's important to acknowledge that, because propaganda exists to rob us from our very human feeling of empathy. It is a vile weapon in order to dehumanize and justify unspeakable acts of violence. All I ask is to please not fall for it and to be on the side of the civilians, no matter what.
Because it's a slippery slope otherwise.
#spy x family#sxf#Yea I think it should be obvious what I'm actually referring to but I'm staying vague on purpose cause this unfortunately keeps happening#It's so gut wrenching and I'm tired of seeing propaganda doing its thing and SUCCEEDING#All I wish is for people to stop and consider what is actually happening to them#You are not immune to propaganda and neither am I. Nobody is
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the experience of writing fic for svsss has been absolutely insane so far. I posted a fic less than 24 hours ago and it already has twenty comments. I have been in so many fandoms where you have to BEG to get comments, where you'd be lucky to get more than ten comments and the ratio between hits and kudos/comments/bookmarks was vast, but so far the scum villain fandom has been super responsive! The hits/kudos/comments/bookmarks ratios have been super tight, even on my fics which have all been oneshots under 10k!
And it's not just me! I regularly see fanart for svsss fics, which was a rare sight in a lot of other fandoms I've been in. People reblog minifics that get posts to tumblr and leave tags and replies on them. I've written for a lot of fandoms in my time, and this a shocking amount of fic engagement compared to many other fandoms I've been in!!
I can't help but wonder if it's because of the nature of scum villain itself? Other people have talked about how the story uniquely appeals to writers, and it ultimately is about the relationship between a writer and reader, especially in a fan space. I can't help but wonder if the combination of this being a fandom with a high density of writers and it being a story about engaging with writing encourages a fandom culture that is super engaged with fanfiction!
#today is the day for long svsss posts i guess#but yeah the svsss fandom has been uniquely wonderful when it comes to fic engagement#like. just comparing it to the mdzs fics i was writing#i put a lot of work into them but the most comments i got was 9#but the comments come pouring in for my svsss stuff#even though theyre not fics i put a whole lot of work into! theyre relatively short and sweet#but instead of a bunch of empty hits#people actually leave comments and kudos and bookmarks#it's really encouraging#writing fic for svsss is a really freeing experience for a lot of reasons tbh#the source material itself offers a lot of flexibility#you can write ridiculous crack or absolutely gut wrenching angst#you can write graphic violence or graphic smut#all of it is supported by the source material itself bc the tone is so varied#and you can put as much or as little thought into the world and setting as you like#you can get deep into the xianxia conventions and the setting of ancient china#or you can toss anachronistic items into the setting for convenience#because that's how airplane would write it#do you need some kind of convenient plot device? come up with whatever you want and blame it on airplane#do you need a monster or a magical item? just throw some words together. again it's what airplane would do#it's extremely freeing
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