#that’s a lot of faith ma’am

[nerdieforpedro]

These are all excellent ideas, but you’re asking me to do calculus when I haven’t mastered addition. 😭😭😭😭 There’s so many relationships and layers. The level of difficulty. 😣

oscar isaac in star wars: the sequel trilogy as poe dameron, dirs. jj abrams, rian johnson. 

“threepio, move your metal ass. we’re almost there.”

[captn-trex]

we never quite made it

Tech x F!Reader

word count: 10k

description: after first meeting on kamino, you and tech seem to keep running into each other, without being able to fully indulge in each other's company. will you ever find the time to be able to tell each other of the feelings that have bloomed over the years?

warnings: not a happy ending!! death, torture (not in any great detail), blood & needles, some mentions of other medical stuff, tech brainrot I fear, don't wanna spoil it but... cx-2...

a/n: okay this was originally just gonna be a cute little fluffy thing and then I kinda went over board. it's a little more high-concept (which feels like a generous word for it) than my other oneshots but i'm pretty happy with how it turned out :) also anyone who writes tech fics regularly I salute you 🫡 it is truly not for the weak

22BBY, KAMINO

You waited patiently in the medical bay, lining up your various tools so none of them were out of place. You weren’t necessarily a neat freak, it was just something to occupy your hands. You were about to see your first patient since transferring from the hospital on Coruscant, to Kamino, in an effort to help the war effort.

The other medics around you weren’t new, and seemed a lot more relaxed, and sure of themselves. You had faith in your abilities as a medic, you had graduated from university into the job a number of years ago now, but somehow this felt like a lot more responsibility, looking after the men that fought for the Republic.

Your fingers were fidgeting at your sides when the door to the medical bay slid open, and a large group of clones were ushered inside by a Kaminoan. You were at the back of the room, so the clones from the front of the group were shown to the medics closest to them. As the group parted, you could see there were a group of clones in vastly different armour from their brothers, and your interest was certainly piqued.

You watched with intrigue as they got closer to you, and before you knew it, one of them was standing in front of you. You still felt nervous, but the timid look on the youthful face of this clone was enough to snap you into gear.

“Hello” You smiled at him sweetly, gesturing to the cot next to you, “Do you want to take a seat?”

The clone didn’t say anything, but obliged quickly. He was taller than many of the clones you worked on before, his hair a light auburn, and he wore goggles that were tinted a subtle yellow.

“What’s your name?” You asked politely.

“CT-9902, Ma’am”

The nervousness was evident in his voice, which you noted was different from the other clones, a more formal twinge and bite to the vowels.

“No need for all that Trooper, just my name is fine” You chuckled a little, tapping the name badge on your uniform, “and I asked for your name. What do your brothers call you?”

The clone looked to the name badge and then up to your eyes, “Tech”

“Well Tech, I understand that this is your last check-up before you graduate, is that right?”

“Uh, technically, we have already graduated. We are waiting to be deployed” He corrected you and you nodded.

”I understand” You smiled, “I’m just going to take some of your blood, if that’s okay”

“Of course it’s okay” He said matter-of-factly, “I wouldn’t expect anything less”

You had to suppress a smirk at his observation as you took the syringe from the tray, “It’s just what they ask us to say, bedside manner and all that”

“Ah” He replied, a blush tinging his ears pink, “My apologies”

It was hard not to find Tech adorable. He was so young and fresh-faced, somehow more so than the other recently graduated clones around the room. Perhaps it was the difference in facial structure, slightly pursed lips, or the big brown eyes that looked up at you though his goggles.

“No need” You waved off his apology, “It’s nice not to have to baby your patients really”

Tech nodded thoughtfully, and took of his left vambrace to allow you access to the correct vein, rolling up his sleeve. You raised an eyebrow at his actions.

“You had a lot of blood taken before?” You asked, and he looked at you puzzled.

“No” He replied simply, “Why?”

“I didn’t have to tell you where I was going to take it from” You gestured the syringe towards his now bare forearm.

“Ah, well” He looked down at himself and back up, “I am… a little knowledgeable about such things”

You smirked a little as you took his arm, keeping him talking while you placed the needle to his skin, “Knowledgeable huh? and why is that?”

He looked up at your face as you worked, wholly uninterested in the needle that was pressing into his arm, “I am interested in knowing about it”

You hummed slightly in reply, drawing the blood from the clone and placing the syringe down again.

“Just a few more things to check” You said, taking the small torch from your belt, “Would you mind taking off your goggles for just a moment?”

The clone didn’t hesitate, and pushed his goggles atop his head.

“Now, look straight ahead” You told him, and shined the light into his eye, checking to see if his pupils were dilating properly. At some point his eyes flicked up to yours, and you were surprised by the flurry of butterflies that filled your stomach. “Eyes ahead, Tech” You reminded him, and he righted himself straight away. You had to bite back your grin at his certainly interesting demeanour.

As you moved onto his other eye, you let your curiosity get the best of you, “If you don’t mind me asking, why are you and your brothers… a little different?”

“I do mind you asking actually” He said plainly, and you were unsure if you had actually upset him, if he was kidding, or if that was just how he spoke.

“Okay” You smiled graciously, choosing to just move on, “You can put your goggles back on now”

Tech watched you carefully as he pulled down and adjusted his goggles until they were comfortable again. With your pleasant smile, it seemed that you were just being sincere and inquisitive in asking about him and his brothers, and he felt a little silly for just brushing you off.

“We usually get seen by the Kaminoans” Tech noted, “Why are there civilian medics on Kamino now?”

“We volunteered” You shrugged with a small smile, “Could you lie down?”

Tech once again did as you said quickly, a little too quickly this time, hitting the back of his head on the cot that was not as comfortable as he had thought. You winced a little and his cheeks flushed immediately.

”Good thing I’m about to scan you” You joked, “Hopefully that didn’t do any damage”

Tech pointed his first finger up as he talked, “It is highly unlikely that I would sustain any dam-”

“I know Tech, I was just kidding” You interrupted, and he stuttered as he looked up at you standing over him with a gentle smile

“Right” He nodded, “Of course you do, my apologies”

”There’s no need to apologise” You smiled, pulling down the scanner over him “Stay still now”

You stepped back from the machine and picked up your datapad, reading over the information as the scanner picked it up. It scanned his identifying code in his wrist and your eyebrows raised at his profile. Defective, genetically enhanced intellect and cognitive functions.

“Is something wrong?” He questioned your reaction.

“No, you’re in perfect health in fact” You answered his question, pulling the machine away so he could sit up.

“What is the… matter, then?” He asked slightly hesitantly.

“The machine scanned your identifying code” You explained, unable to hold back your grin, “You sound like a very interesting individual indeed, Tech”

Tech blushed furiously, looking away and noting that his brothers were already finished with their examinations, huddled together watching him with the widest grins he had ever seen from them. He only blushed further upon seeing them, scowling and turning back to you. You just watched him with a look of vague amusement on your face.

“Well, you’re all good to go now” You informed him, and he stood quickly, accidently knocking the elbow of his armour against your hip.

He was mortified. “I am so very sorry” He spoke hurriedly, turning back towards you with wide eyes, gently holding onto your arm without even realising.

“It’s really alright” You replied with a chuckle, though it was a little strained.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, that is the last thing I would mean to do” He continued, and you couldn’t help but find his reaction so effortlessly charming

“I like the way you speak, Tech” You smiled, genuine happiness just taking over your face.

Tech didn’t think it was possible for his face to heat up even more, but he had to clutch at the edge of his blacks and pull them away from his neck so it didn’t feel like he was over heating. He didn’t know what to say at all. He couldn’t think of the last time he had ever been complimented by someone, let alone someone as pretty as you. He willed himself to get a grip, knowing he was just giving in to his body in allowing those kind of thoughts to fester, and he cleared his throat.

“Well, it was a pleasure to meet you” He added your name with an emphasis, as if it was to help him remember it, “If I weren’t about to leave I would ask you to explain the functionality of this machine you’ve just used on me”

“Maybe another time?”

Tech nodded, “Another time”

“Goodbye Tech” You smiled at him warmly, “It was a pleasure to meet you too”

Tech nodded and turned to leave, making a beeline for his brothers, who welcomed him by teasing him mercilessly, the largest of the bunch ruffling his auburn curls. You watched them leave, and caught Tech looking back at you as he exited the room.

21BBY, KAMINO

“New orders”

Before you could realise, a datapad was being thrown at you. Luckily you got your hands around it before it dropped to the floor. You looked over the screen, then up at the other medic.

“We're not trained for that” You implored.

“The GAR is running low on medics, they asked for some of us to fill the roles for now” They replied with a shrug, “It's probably more interesting than being here anyway”

You could agree with that.

“What squad are you with?” The other medic asked, and you looked back down, tapping on your name.

“Clone Force 99” You informed them. The name rung a bell from somewhere…

“Never heard of them” The medic replied, “Guess you'll find out tomorrow”

Having stayed up late investigating the group of clones you were instructed to be joining, it was no wonder that you were bouncing on your toes with a beaming smile as their ship came hurtling into the hangar. You were impressed by their success rate, not falling short of perfect, but it was from realising exactly who was a part of this team that made you so eager.

You would be lying to say you hadn't thought of Tech a few times since first meeting him. With him being your first patient here on Kamino, it was hard not to compare the other clones to him, and while you had no issue with the other clones, you had not enjoyed your time with them as much as that first encounter.

The ship was set down on the ground, and soon the small batch of clones emerged from inside, looking particularly disinterested, and your smile faltered. They huddled together outside, talking amongst themselves, some of them leaning on the side of the ship.

You walked over slowly, feeling a little more hesitant than you had initially been. You couldn't see Tech, as he was behind his brothers, but you recognised the rest of them by their differing appearances.

You cleared your throat, gaining the attention of the clones, and offering them a small smile. They turned to look at you, apart from Tech who's face was buried in a datapad.

“Hello, I think I've been assigned to your squad” You spoke, and that's when Tech's head snapped up, his eyes meeting yours.

He looked a bit older than the last time you had seen him. His face seemed slimmer, his cheekbones slightly more hollowed out and defined, his jaw strong, but his widened eyes had the memorable sparkle in them all the same.

“We don't need you here” One of the others said, earning a elbow in the ribs as you looked up at him.

“Shut up Cross” The elbow-er hissed quietly at the elbow-ee, “Ignore him, it's nice to meet you…”

You told the man your name.

“Well, I'm Hunter” He introduced himself, and you gave him a nod of acknowledgement.

Crosshair rolled his eyes, “Why are we being made to have a medic?”

“I'm not sure” You shrugged, “I wasn't really told all too much about it”

Crosshair seemed almost pleased that you were just in the dark as them, then grunted, pushing his way past you and onto the ship.

Hunter huffed, noting your slightly offended expression, “Sorry about Crosshair, he's in a mood. We just weren't… expecting this, is all”

You chewed the inside of your cheek, “Me neither”

“Well anyway, let's get going” He walked up the ship's steps.

“I'm Wrecker” The large clone introduced himself with a warm smile, which you were inclined to return.

You held out your hand to him, and he took it with a crushing strength. “Nice to meet you… Wrecker” You managed to peep out despite the force of his grip.

Wrecker followed his commanding officer up the stairs afterwards, and you were about to follow after, but realised Tech was still stood firmly in his place. You looked back at him and he was still staring at you.

“You coming Tech?”

His eyes went a little wider.

“You know who I am?” He said, his voice holding a clear tone of surprise, though it was nowhere near as timid as it had been the last time you saw him.

Your cheeks flushed a little, embarrassed that he had clearly made more of an impression on you than you had on him.

“Oh, you don't remember meeting?” You asked, keeping your voice even.

“No, no, I remember” He confirmed, “I just didn't think you would remember me”

You gave him a puzzled look, a smile growing on your face, “Of course I remember you”

“Can you two wrap it up, we're leaving” Crosshair shouted from inside, and you chuckled slightly nervously, walking up the ramp.

Tech was still frozen in place for a moment. He hadn't been excited to be getting a medic, having ample training and knowledge of the subject himself, but now, he couldn't help but feel a little exhilarated that it was you that would be joining them.

The few times that the squad had been back to Kamino since graduation, Tech had found himself wandering down to the medical bay. He hadn't talked to you, he was far too nervous to do that, but he had watched you work through the little window in the door. You had almost caught him one time, and that's when he decided to stop doing it, realising how strange he was behaving.

He walked up the stairs of the Marauder, a little on edge, a little nervous, but a little more happy than he had been when they landed.

21BBY, MARAUDER

Tech was staring. At you, to be specific. Once again.

His brain worked at a klick a minute, and yet, whatever you had just said to him had him stumped. His mouth hung open a little, his eyes slightly narrowed and his brow furrowed deeply. He wasn't saying anything. For once, nothing was going on in his head. It was like his brain had frozen, unable to process any new thoughts. He was confused.

“Tech?” You said hesitantly, drawing him from his stupor.

“I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly” He replied assuredly.

You hesitated a little before asking again, “I asked you if you think I should leave”

That's what he thought you'd said.

“I don’t understand your meaning” He dropped the tool from his hand and stood up, facing you and trying to read every movement you made.

You felt a little uneasy under his scrutiny, but continued nonetheless, “Like… leave the team”

Tech still couldn't understand.

“Why are you asking me this?” He asked, his brow furrowing even deeper.

“Well, I figured you would give me an honest answer” You shrugged. Tech was nothing if not upfront, and it was one of the many things you liked about him.

“No, I mean… why are you asking this at all?” He surveyed your reaction to his words, your throat constricting as you swallowed and subtly wiped you hands on your trousers.

“Uh… I suppose I don't feel that my presence is very necessary”

“I don't see how you could possibly think that” Tech replied, “You have a very useful skillset”

“Well, I know that Hunter doesn't exactly love having me around, and Crosshair even less so” You argued, “And my ‘useful skillset’ hardly gets used around here”

Tech didn't know what to say. There was something nagging at him from the depths of his consciousness, urging him to tell you to stay. He found you exceedingly interesting, and enjoyed hearing about your medical exploits from before joining their squad. He always asked under the guise of learning new information, but his brothers all understood, far more than him, that it wasn't just knowledge that kept him asking you questions.

At this point, you had been with the Bad Batch for a few months, and - as you were explaining to Tech - you had not felt very useful at all. They rarely got injured, but even when they did, they would mostly refuse your help. Particularly Hunter. Crosshair had not warmed to you at all, though Wrecker did seem to enjoy your company. Tech was kind, in his own way. He always listened to you attentively, and as both of you were reasonably light sleepers, you had often found yourselves staying up together between missions, talking about a great many things. He seemed interested to know about medical procedures, but expanding his knowledge was only making you more and more obsolete within the group.

“I'm sorry if we've made you feel unwelcome” He said, and your gaze softened a little.

“It's okay, I know none of you really wanted me here in the first place”

“That’s…” Tech tried to find the words, “I would not say that is entirely factual. Though if you would like to leave, I think you should”

You couldn’t help but feel a little disheartened by Tech’s words, but you did come to him for the truth after all, you couldn’t be mad now.

“Alright, I'll notify the medical team back on Kamino then”

You walked away from Tech, and his brain began working, screaming at him to ask you to stay. He pressed his lips into a hard line, trying to come up with something, anything that he could say to make you stay, but all of the possibilities floating around in his head were jumbled and he couldn’t make sense of anything. He shook his head, trying to focus himself, but you had already walked away, already set on leaving.

“Get away from me”

You were crouched over Crosshair’s crumpled form, who was bent over and holding the wound to his side in the co-pilot's chair of the Marauder.

“Crosshair, I'm only trying to help” You insisted, trying to tend to him.

“I don't need your kriffing help, back off” He hissed, snatching the medkit from you.

You sighed deeply, taking a step back, “You know this is the reason I'm here right? To help when things like this happen?”

“We don't need you!” He shouted, “We never wanted you here, and we certainly don't now”

“Crosshair, calm down” Hunter scolded lightly, and when you turned to him you could see the look on his face, where you knew he agreed with his brother but was holding his tongue.

“Well good for you, I'll be gone soon” You mumbled as you stormed away, your eyes welling up instinctively from someone raising their voice at you.

You felt entirely useless.

You became a medic because you wanted to help people, and you joined the GAR medic team because you wanted to help clones specifically, but here you were, surrounded by clones, and they didnt want your help. It was hard not to feel downcast about it.

You understood Crosshair's contempt to a certain level, but did he really have to be so mean?

Tech could hear your soft sobs from outside the door to the cargo hold. He knocked firmly, and heard you sniff before telling him to enter.

When he saw the rosy tint of your nose and cheeks and the tears running down them, he realised that he had no idea how to comfort you in this moment. He stared at you as you stared up at him, waiting for him to say something.

“I'm sorry” He said unsurely, and you gave him a sad smile.

“It's fine Tech”

“I don't really think it is ‘fine’. I am very unimpressed with the way my brothers have behaved towards you” He asserted.

Looking down at you, your knees tucked into your chest and biting into your bottom lip to stop it quivering, he was reminded that he really didn't want you to leave, and even further, he realised the true reason why. He finally mustered up the courage to ask you to stay.

“I know that you're not happy at the moment, being with this team. I… I wish it were different, I wish we could have made you more comfortable. I am sure that if you stayed for a little longer and I talked to my brothers that-”

“I've heard from Kamino already, they want me back” You said softly, cutting him off before he could even say it.

“Ah, I see” He paused, then turned away “I shall leave you to-”

“Tech”

He turned back to you, and you offered him a soft, genuine smile, “I appreciate it, thank you”

He just nodded to you and left, the nasty feeling of rejection gnawing at his brain.

As the Marauder touched down in the hangar on Kamino, there was the most unpleasant sensation stirring in your gut. This was the right choice, you didn't fit in here, and you wanted to actually make a difference. Despite knowing all this, you couldn't help but feel strange, and descending the ship’s stairs felt like regressing, going backwards instead of forwards.

You turned to look at the clones as you left. Each of them, apart from Crosshair, gave a nod and a goodbye and walked back inside. Aside from Tech, of course.

He followed you down the steps, and it was the look on his face that placed that feeling in your gut. It was the reluctancy to leave behind this man that you had grown so fond of over the past few months, this man who listened to you and made you feel wanted despite the rest of the squad's insistency to not.

It had only been a few months, but you realised that you had grown very close with the clone before you, and your heart ached. You realised the depth of the feelings you harboured for him, that it was something you had never felt for another.

“I'll miss you Tech, it's been nice getting to know you” You spoke honestly, realising this could be the last time you saw him.

Tech sighed almost imperceptibly, “I agree, I shall miss… learning about medical procedures from you”

You couldn't help but laugh, “Well next time you're on Kamino, swing by the medical bay and I'll be happy to answer your questions”

“Are you making fun of me?” Tech suddenly resembled the shy cadet that you had met the first time.

“No” You smiled, “I'd always be happy to talk to you”

Tech didn't know what the correct thing to say was, so he said nothing. He just stared at you, once again, his mind fighting for anything to say once more. There was nobody that could send his mind spiralling like you did, and it seemed that you didn't even try to.

You smiled despite his slightly awkward silence, and stepped forwards, raising to your toes to plant a soft kiss to his cheek, “Goodbye Tech”

Tech could feel his face burning, from the blush that overtook him, and the feeling of your lips searing into his skin, rendering him completely speechless. As you walked away, he brought a hand to his face where you had kissed him and traced the area with his finger lightly.

“Ugh, I'm going to throw up” Crosshair asserted from the doorway of the ship.

“Shhhh” Wrecker pushed him and watched Tech swoon over you with a large grin.

Tech paid them no mind. He just watched you leave, a mix of emotions overtaking him. A frown settled on his face as your figure disappeared into the facility, but the feel of your lips on his cheek brought a warm feeling to his chest.

19BBY, ANAXES

“Hey Baar'ur'ika!” You heard the unmistakable voice of Jesse call out to you as he jogged over to the medbay in the Anaxes base.

“He doesn't call me that you know” Kix asserted from beside you, and you chuckled.

“Do you want him to?” You asked earnestly, but with an amused twinkle in your eye.

“That's besides the point" He grumbled, earning another laugh from you.

“Me and Kix are being sent on a mission with the Captain” Jesse said as he came to a stop in front of you.

“We are?” Kix asked

Jesse nodded, “Some special squad is joining us apparently”

“Special?”

“Yeah, I'm not sure why though, you wanna come find out?” He grinned, gesturing his head towards the landing strip.

“Can't. I've got all these reports to sign off” You sighed, holding up your stack of flimsi.

“Alright, we'll see you later on then Baar'ur'ika” Jesse smiled, ruffling your hair.

You huffed, putting the lose strands of it back into place, “See you later”

You took up your stylus again, clicking it absentmindedly as you read over the reports.

You had been reassigned to the 501st only a few weeks after leaving clone force 99, and you fit in so much better here. It seemed that the clones of the 501st actually wanted to get along with you, and they always included you in their shenanigans, reluctantly on your end. You got along with all of them really well, but Kix and Jesse were the ones you were closest with. You worked most closely with Kix, so that was only natural, but Jesse was certainly the most friendly to you from the outset.

You came across a report with an error, and checked the next piece of flimsi, and the same error had been made. You then leafed through all of the pages and realised the error had been made on every single one of them, and you groaned loudly. It then occurred to you that maybe you were the one making the error, and so you grabbed the stack of pages, rushing out the door to try and grab Kix before he left for his mission.

Luckily when you got to the landing strip, him and Jesse were still standing there with the Captain. You rushed over to them, almost dropping a page on the way.

“Kix, can I just ask you about something” You spoke, and the huddle of clones turned to look at you.

“Ah Baar'ur'ika, you came to investigate after all” Jesse slung an arm around your shoulders with a grin.

“I didn't come to investigate, I-”

Your voice seemingly stopped working as you turned your head and locked eyes with the specific ones that had always managed to draw you in and leave you speechless. Those wonderful brown eyes that always widened when they met yours

“Tech” You couldn't hold back the smile that grew on your face.

Tech spoke your name, and Jesse stifled a laugh when he felt a shiver run up your back.

You were absolutely mesmerised by the man in front of you. It had been just over a year since you had seen him, and in that time it seemed that he had only got even more beautiful. Your heart felt as if it had been set alight, the emotions that accompanied seeing Tech returning as if you had only said goodbye to him yesterday.

“We're here too” Wrecker laughed, snapping your gaze away from the spectacled clone.

“Hey Wrecker” You grinned, and he gave you a wink in return.

“Hey Hunter, Crosshair” You addressed the last two clones.

“Hey, it's good to see you” Hunter replied, a small genuine smile directed towards you.

Crosshair didn't say anything, but you hadn't expected him to.

“You know these guys?” Jesse asked, squeezing your shoulder.

“Uh, yeah. I was with them for a little while” You replied, looking to the floor for a moment before realising why you were here. “Oh! Kix, I just need to ask about this”

Tech watched you talking with the other medic and flipping through the pieces of flimsi as everyone else fell back into their previous conversation. His eyes lingered on the arm slung around your shoulders, and the way you placed your own hand on the shoulder of the other clone. You were clearly comfortable around these clones, and Tech's jealousy fizzled away to a form of sadness as he realised that you were so much happier with these clones than you had been with them. With him.

You settled the matter with Kix, and turned towards Tech once more, stepping forward so you stood in front of him.

“How are you?” You asked, clasping your hands behind your back.

“I am well” Tech replied flatly, not giving away an inch of the emotions that swirled within him, “How about yourself?”

“I'm good yeah” You smiled, “I've been here for a few rotations”

“With the 501st?” Tech asked.

“Oh no, just on Anaxes, I've been with these guys since… well, a couple weeks after I left you”

Something about the sentence pulled at Tech's heart. These clones were so lucky. They had got to spend all of this time by your side, all this time that he had spent with you only as a memory in his head, your absence taunting him constantly.

“I- Uh- I am glad to see you are doing well, you seem… happier, than last I saw you” He observed, pulling a small laugh from you.

“Maybe a bit. I do miss having someone to rant to though” You smirked a little at him, and despite his heated cheeks, he returned the gesture.

“I don't know that I'd call it ‘ranting’, you were always very precise with your words, very… intentional” He complimented you in a way that only made sense to both of you.

You hummed in response, “Well how's this for intentional - I've missed you Tech”

Tech couldn't hold back the small contented sigh that escaped him.

“I have missed you too” He admitted, indulging in losing himself in your eyes, inspecting ever fleck of colour.

“Hey Tech! We've gotta get going” Hunter shouted over to him. Neither one if you had realised the others had moved away.

Tech scowled inwardly, turning his attention back to you, “I was… I should like to ask you about biopsy methods, I am unsure of safe practice”

“Maybe another time?” You asked hopefully.

He nodded, a small smile quirking the edges of his lips, “Another time”

In a bout of confidence and rising adrenaline, Tech found himself leaning down and pressing a short kiss to your cheek, as you had done to him last time. Your mouth hung open a little as he then immediately walked off and joined his brothers on the gunship, surprised that he had actually done such a thing.

“Bye Baar'ur'ika” Jesse called teasingly, and you were snapped from your daze.

“Bye di'kut” You called, rolling your eyes as you clutched your flimsi close to your chest.

Tech's eyes locked with yours as the doors to the gunship closed, and it made your chest ache. You could still feel the warmth of his breath, the gentle scratch of his stubble, the softness of his lips. It was all too much and not enough, and watching him leave hurt more than you thought it would.

18BBY, CORUSCANT

You sat at your makeshift desk, your head in your hand and flicking through your datapad to survey the latest news. Things certainly had become bleak since the rise of the Empire.

You heard your name called, and your head snapped up to meet the golden eyes of Senator Chuchi.

“Senator, what can I do for you?” You asked, sitting up straight.

“Please, it's Riyo, and it's more what I can do for you” She said with a small smirk lifting the edges of her lips.

“Oh” You said, your eyebrows drawing together in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“There's a new clone joining us, I believe you know him” She replied, her smirk growing.

You immediately stood from your seat, “Is it who I think it is?”

“Perhaps” The Senator shrugged coyly.

You couldn't hold back your grin, “Where is he?”

“Just in the hangar” She nodded in the direction.

“Thank you Sen- Riyo” You said quickly, rushing from behind your desk towards the hangar.

You had known that Echo was alive, but this was the first time you would actually be seeing him since before the mission to the citadel where he had been presumed dead, and boy was he a sight for sore eyes.

“Echo!” You exclaimed excitedly, drawing the attention of the clone as you ran towards him across the hangar.

The clone's eyes lit up as he took in the sight of you, and stepped forwards, taking you in a tight hug when you crashed into him.

“It's good to see you” He said with a smile as he pulled away.

“It's even better to see you” You grinned, “I was so upset I didn't get to see you after you were rescued”

“I heard” He smirked, looking over his shoulder at Rex.

You looked over at the blonde clone too, and saw that he was watching on with three other familiar clones.

“Woah” You couldn't stop yourself from saying, “I heard you were hanging around with this lot nowadays”

Once your eyes found Tech, you couldn't bring yourself to look away. He seemed to be hanging back a bit, his eyes once again a little wide behind his goggles.

“Hey!” Wrecker said excitedly, earning a small laugh from you.

“Hey Wrecker, hey Hunter” You smiled at the clones.

“Hi” The Sergeant smiled at you.

Wrecker then pushed Tech forwards, and you smirked a little as he glared at his larger brother.

“Hey Tech, how's it going?” You asked, and he brought his eyes back to you.

In a way he couldn't define, you seemed more mature than when he had last saw you. Perhaps it was the tiredness he saw in your eyes, or perhaps it was the few small scars that adorned your skin, clearly earned in battle. The thought of you sustaining injuries made his stomach lurch, so he tried not to think of it.

The way you were looking at him was so familiar. Your smile was kind and easy, gracing your features in a way that was so uniquely you. The light crinkle around your eyes and lips, the small glint in your eye, the way one side of your mouth was more contorted than the other. Tech was certainly glad to see you.

“Uh… it is going well” Tech replied unsurely after a moment, and you smirked a little bit at his answer.

It was intoxicating to be in Tech's presence once more. Everytime you were around him, things felt a little different, like there was something in the air that made everyone else look a bit more fuzzy as he was brought into focus. It didn't ever help that he was seemingly always getting so much more handsome every time you saw him.

His auburn locks were a little longer at the moment, no doubt because his biggest priority whilst on the run from the Empire was not his hair, but you weren't complaining. His hair framed his angelic face so perfectly, his features undeniably sharper and more mature, though his eyes were still as soft and gentle as they had always been, with a startling youthfulness that he couldn't seem to shake.

“It's good to see you guys, I'm glad to see you're not… with the Empire” You said a little hesitantly, then noticed the small blonde girl that was hiding behind Hunter.

He noticed you looking at her and introduced her to you.

“It's nice to meet you Omega” You smiled, kneeling down to get on her level.

“It's nice to meet you too, though I have already heard of you since Tech talks about you a lot” She said matter-of-factly.

“Is that right?” You smirked, looking up at Tech, whose cheeks were positively burning.

“I think I may have mentioned your existence a few times” He spoke flatly, but the edge of squeakiness gave him away.

The idea of Tech talking about you, or even just casually mentioning your existence in a passing comment, was enough to set your heart alight. In whatever manner it had truly been, he had at least always remembered you in some way, and that brought the smile to your face.

Hunter then said goodbye to you, and then to Echo, and retreated to the ship. Tech did the same, but instead walked towards you, stopping just in front of you. You had to crane your neck a little to look up at him in the pleasantly close quarters. Had he always been this tall?

“I-” He just looked at you for a while, and you smiled at him, waiting patiently for him to continue. “I have many questions to ask you” He finished.

You chuckled, “Maybe another time?”

Tech couldn't help but sigh, the familiar words making his heart ache, “Another time, yes”

“I think I owe you something now” You said with a small grin, trying to ease the light crease in his brow.

Tech watched your expression change cautiously, “Owe me? I don't think so”

“I mean, if you don't want it then-”

“Well, I must admit, I am curious now”

You laughed at his interjection, smiling at him fondly, “Alright, here you go then”

You placed a hand on his cheek and brought your lips to the other one, placing a lingering kiss to his cheekbone. Tech closed his eyes at the bittersweet feeling of it, and opened them to look back into yours. He placed his own hand to your cheek before the moment could end, and gently rubbed his thumb back and forth, his eyes searching yours. He took a quick glance over your shoulder and saw his brothers all watching him, waiting for him so they could leave, and he chewed the corner of his lip a little as he looked back to you.

“One of these days, I'll give you a proper kiss” He said quietly, making your heart skip a beat, “If you'd like that”

“I'd like that very much” You replied quickly, the grin on your face only growing.

Tech cracked his own small smile. “Another time then” He whispered, and looked over your features for a second longer, before placing a soft kiss to your forehead and walking away.

You watched him leave with an undeniable fondness swelling in your heart. You had felt a certain affection for Tech from the very beginning, and the thrill of the idea of him returning the feelings that you harboured for him brought forth the newfound nature of said feelings.

It went deeper than just liking him in a special way. This emotion you felt when you looked at him, or when you thought of him, was different. The way your heart stopped when he looked at you, the way your breath hitched when he spoke your name, you knew it was different. This was far more profound than a silly crush. The longevity of your affections had caused them to develop into something deeper, more serious.

Something like love.

17BBY, REBELLION BASE

“I need to talk to you”

You looked up from cleaning your workstation and saw Echo striding towards you, determination in his eyes that seemed otherwise tired and possibly even sad.

“What's the matter?” You asked, rushing over to meet him in the middle.

He opened his mouth, trying to find the words, but finding them hard to say, to admit even to himself.

“I… was just on a mission with the batch” He started.

“Oh how are they? How's Tech?” You ask, your mood lifted just a little.

Echo's heart ached, his eyebrows pinching together as his lips formed a hard line. His eyes began to well up slightly and he blinked a few times to rid himself of the tears.

“I'm so sorry” He whispered.

“Why are you sorry?” You asked cautiously.

“Tech… He-” Echo swallowed, “He didn't make it, he fell”

The words hit directly into your heart, and you could almost feel it collapse in on itself.

“Wh- What?” You whimpered out, almost hoping that you had heard him wrong, or that it was just a cruel joke of some kind.

“He… He sacrificed himself for the squad, so that they could live”

You couldn't say anything, couldn't breathe, couldn't move, couldn't think. The only thing you could do, was let the feeling of everything crashing down wash over you. It truly felt as if the hinges of your life, the certain something that seemingly held it up, had come loose.

You heard Echo say your name, but it was distant, like he was in another room. Your knees slowly gave in, and he grabbed you as you fell to the ground. He held you in his arms as you cried silently, your tears soaking through his clothes. He stroked your hair comfortingly, whispering assurances about how it was going to be fine, that everything would be alright.

“I never got to tell him, Echo” You choked out eventually, cutting through his smooth words.

“Tell him what?” He asked tenderly, knowing all too well what it was.

“That I… love him” You said, and a small sob finally escaped you.

Somehow it felt even harder to admit now that he was gone. Your love didn't feel as if it was in the past tense. It felt present, current, and that's why the sudden grief stung so much - the love was still lingering, and it didn't feel as if it was planning on leaving anytime soon. After all, it had managed to survive not seeing him for long periods of time, and to your broken heart, it felt the same.

17BBY, IMPERIAL PRISION

You surfaced slowly into consciousness, your eyes trying to open, but to no avail. You could feel your wrists caught in restraints, held above you on either side of your head. You tried to remember what had happened, but everything was fuzzy. You were… at the base. The Bad Batch were there, then… You were attacked? You were running with… Howzer? and then…

You couldn't recall anything past that point, but when your eyes finally opened you had a little idea of what could have happened. Sat opposite you with their arms crossed, was a man dressed head to toe in black armour, like the operative that Rex had captured before the attack on the base. He began talking, but it wasn't initially intelligible.

You shook your head to try and clear the brain fog a little, “Wha-”

“Tell me where the girl is” He demanded. The sound of his voice was so eerily familiar, but it was heavily modified by his helmet.

“Girl?” You questioned through your delirious state, turning your wrists in their restraints. Naturally, you knew who he was talking about, but you weren't going to give up that easily.

“Omega. I saw you talking with her, I know you know her and her brothers. Now, tell me, where would they have taken her?”

You pressed your mouth into a hard line, you could hardly deny it if he had seen you. “I won't talk”

He sighed, standing up and walking over so he stood in front of you, “I don't need to hurt you…” He said your name, and a chill ran up your spine. How could he know your name?

“That's not my name” You narrowed your eyes, looking into his visor.

“You cannot lie to me, Cyare” He spoke, and ran a hand over your cheek, “It would serve you well to tell the truth, it would be a shame to have to ruin this pretty face”

You looked over the man's appearance, for any semblance of individuality, but there was nothing.

“Who are you?” You asked.

“No one that concerns you anymore” The man chuckled, stepping back from you, “Now, tell me, what has become of the defective clones?”

You clenched your jaw in defiance, refusing to spill anything without even a little bit if incentive. You were clearly in some kind of imperial facility, but you weren't in any immediate danger, so you would stay stubborn for as long as you could.

The man spoke your name in a warning tone, his head tilted to the side, “I need you to tell me”

“I wont tell you anything” You spat back at him. He was irritatingly calm and collected, something you had not experienced from the Empire before.

He folded his hands behind his back, humming thoughtfully, “You will. Perhaps, another time”

With that, he turned and pressed the button on the door panel to leave.

You let your head hang down again, letting out a deep breath. If you weren't so tired you were sure that you'd be more panicked, but as your eyes closed and you let the exhaustion take over, you couldn't find it in yourself to be scared. Your body ached, and you needed it to rest if you wanted any chance of getting out of here.

The mysterious operative returned often over the next few days, pushing for answers but always leaving empty handed. He would always threaten violence, but had not touched you once since caressing your face in that first encounter.

He was now stood opposite you as he always was, making another empty threat about how you would be hurt if you didn't answer him.

You rolled your eyes, “Are you ever going to hold true to that promise?”

He stayed silent, and you laughed a little.

“Come on, I dare you, hurt me” You urged, jutting your chin out.

You were so tired of this, and he was obviously worn out by your defiance as well.

“I told you” He spoke quietly, “The last thing I would ever mean to do is hurt you”

Your heart stopped, and your eyes went wide as the familiar voice finally placed itself, hearing the same words that it had said all those years ago.

“It can't be, you-”

The man reached up and took off his helmet with a short hiss. He looked different, his face scarred and weary, his goggles nowhere to be seen, but it was undeniably him. The only thing that could have convinced you otherwise was the fact that his eyes didn't have the youthful sparkle they always seemed to in the past. Instead, they looked tired, completely worn down, and cold.

“Tech” You whispered, your heart beating impossibly fast in your chest.

He stepped closer, “I do not go by that name anymore”

On instinct, your eyes began to water, and a single tear ran down your cheek, “What are you doing here? You- You're with the Empire?”

He didn't reply, but he took off a glove and brought his hand to your face to wipe your tear away. You closed your eyes, and he let his hand remain on your cheek, rubbing your cheekbone lightly.

“I need you to tell me what I want to know” He spoke so softly now, and you opened your eyes and look up into his. They were still so inviting despite their unfamiliar coldness.

“Tech, why are you doing this?”

He didn't reply again, but brought his other hand to your cheek and held your face gently, his own just in front of yours, “Tell me”

“I can't” You choked out, brow furrowed as he ignored your questions.

“Please, Cyare. They will hurt you if you don't talk”

“Let them” You said firmly, tugging your face from his hands, “I won't betray your brothers”

Tech just watched you for a moment before opening his mouth again.

“So be it”

He put his helmet back on and left the room, leaving you alone with the revelation that the man you had been in love with was not only alive, but under the control of the Empire, the very thing you had dedicated your life to defeating.

The following day, when you lifted your head to see Tech enter your cell, he was now joined by an Imperial officer, and a floating droid that had a thin needle protruding from it. You understood all too well what this droid was, what it was used for, and you pulled at your restraints, a string of grunts escaping your lips.

“Resisting will do you no good” The Imperial officer chuckled, standing before you as the droid positioned itself to your left.

Tech couldn't watch. He kept his head up, appearing to be looking straight through you, but he had to close his eyes. Your screams were enough. You were resisting at every turn, and Tech just wished you would relent so that he wouldn't have to listen to the awful sounds that escaped you. The sounds that cut deep through his conditioning and hit his very soul, causing his chest to ache.

“Please, Tech. Make them stop” You cried hopelessly, and he squeezed his eyes closed even further, trying to block everything out.

To you, he looked cold, unmoving, and even after the Imperial had left with the droid as you had not let anything slip, he didn't budge at all.

After a few minutes of quiet, the only sound that was heard being your heavy breathing, he stepped forwards, taking off his helmet and letting it drop to the floor. He reached up and let you down from your restraints, catching your body as it fell down, limp with exhaustion. He knelt on the floor, his hand on the back of your head as it rested in his lap.

Your eyes fluttered open to see his face. He looked undeniably remorseful, and his eyes had a little amount of that special spark that they used to. You reached up and touched his face, causing his eyes to close with a shaky breath.

“What have they done to you Tech?” You whispered, your throat raw from shouting.

He didn't speak, but his heart clenched in his chest, every word you spoke bringing him further from the conditioning he had been subjected to to make him the way he was.

“How you could you let them do this to your brothers? To me? Do you not care about me at all?”

His eyes were now glassy when he opened them and looked down at you. He leant down and brought his forehead to yours, “I care for you more than you know”

Your tears were streaming down your face, “Then why are you doing this?”

Looking so deeply into your teary eyes, something in him finally snapped. He had a moment of intense clarity, fighting through his conditioning and realising the severity of his actions, of who he now was, who he had been forced to become.

He helped you stand before tying you back up in your restraints, much to your confusion.

You were sobbing now, your body and mind heavy with exhaustion, “Tech, please. Please stop this”

“I will come back for you, Cyare” He whispered, bringing his forehead back to yours with a hand on the back of your head, “I will get you out of here, I promise”

He stepped back, and was about to put his helmet back on, but he looked up to you once more.

“I am so very sorry”

You saw a tear slip from his eye, and he then placed his helmet on his head, leaving you alone once more.

Holding true to his promise, Tech returned that night. He unclipped your restraints, and you crumbled to your knees.

“Come on Cyar'ika, I'm going to get you out of here” He said gently, helping you to stand.

You tried to get a good footing, but your legs were too weak, and you fell into him. Without needing to be told, he picked you up, slinging an arm behind your back and the other under your knees. You rested your hands on his chest, looking up at his helmeted face and feeling unsure about his motivations. You were too tired to inquire though, so you just leaned your head against his shoulder and let him take you wherever he was going.

Tech carried you through the corridors of the prison, looking around corners and making sure to take the route where there would be the least guards. He constantly made sure you were still with him, as you kept slipping in and out of consciousness, so he'd place his fingers against your pulse point.

He slammed his hand into the door panel, and entered the elevator that would take you to the surface. The doors slid closed and he looked down at you, and behind his mask, he couldn't help but smile.

You looked so peaceful, so calm, so… beautiful.

For the first time, he let himself think of the future. He would get you out of here, and then he'd be free to think about his future. Maybe he'd re-join his brothers on Pabu, maybe… you would come with him. He hoped you could forgive him for the mistakes he'd made.

The doors opened, and Tech stepped out, pacing quickly across the landing platform to the nearest ship. Before he could make it there though, a bright light was shone on the pair of you from above.

“Trooper, put the prisoner down” A voice spoke through a loudspeaker, and he held you tightly in defiance.

He continued towards the transport, but was stopped in his place as blaster fire ripped through the air. His leg gave way as one of the shots grazed him, and he collapsed onto his knee, keeping you close to his chest so you wouldn’t hit the ground. He heard you let out a strangled gasp, and his heart sunk to his feet.

He pulled back from you, and sure enough, a blaster bolt had ripped straight into your chest.

He began panicking instantly, his breath quick and ragged, his heart stuttering and beating at an uneven pace. He let you rest in his lap, looking up to him through half lidded eyes that told him what he already knew to be true.

“No” He said assuredly, “You’re fine, you’re okay”

“Tech” You whispered.

“Everything will be fine” He bit into his bottom lip, completely in denial of what was happening.

“Tech” You said more firmly, though your voice was croaky, “It’s okay”

“It is not okay!” He exclaimed, tears spilling from his eyes that had quickly welled up.

He just watched you in disbelief, now unable to control the sobs that left his mouth. He had never cried so hard at anything in his life, but right now it felt as if everything was ending when it had only barely just begun.

“I'm so sorry Cyare, for everything” He whispered, his heart aching when you gave him a half-hearted smile.

“I know Tech, I know” You said breathlessly, the feeling of the blaster bolt to your heart ripping any strength from you.

Tech held your body close to him as the life slipped from you.

“It shouldn't have been like this, I should've protected you” He sobbed into your chest.

You pulled his head back and hooked your fingers under the edge of his helmet, taking it off his head so you could look into his eyes. You placed your hand on the side of his scarred cheek, and he leaned into it savouring your warm touch while he still could.

“It's okay Tech, I forgive you”

He didn't even think, he didn’t want to. Instead he just brought his lips to yours, the salty taste of his tears finding your tongue. The kiss was perfect, yet so bittersweet. It was something you had both waited years for, but now it would be one of the last moments you would ever share together. Tech kissed you so fervently, pouring every inch of his being into you, connecting his soul to yours, and in return you gave everything you had, even as it was slipping away.

He didn’t want it to end, and neither did you, but you knew your time was limited, and you had something you needed to say. You had thought that you had missed your chance before, and you’d be damned if you missed it now, in your final moments.

“Tech” You whispered, pulling away from him and looking into his glassy eyes, “I love you”

He let out a choked sob and brought his forehead to yours, “I love you too Cyar’ika, I always will”

His forehead rested against yours as you slipped away. He was whispering apologies, his eyes closed, unable to look into your eyes and see the light leave them. After a few moments, your hand fell from his face, and that's when he knew you were gone.

Tech held you close to him for a moment longer before his blood began boiling with rage. He laid your lifeless body against the ground, closing your eyes and making sure you could be comfortable even in death.

He stood, a flame burning inside of him that spread throughout his limbs, urging his fingers to find the pair of blasters that sat at his hip. He unholstered them just as blaster fire once more resumed. He dodged what he could, shooting the stormtroopers that closed in on him and depleting their numbers single-handedly, but his luck was eventually going to run out, and he knew that.

The first shot was to his shoulder, sending him stumbling backwards, but he fought through the searing pain and continued knocking down the soldiers. The second shot placed itself in his knee and he cried out as it gave way and he fell to his other knee, still fighting for his life. The third and fourth shots were the true nail in the coffin, both of them finding his chest and ripping him open as you had been. Even though he had armour, it was not enough to withstand two blaster bolts to the heart.

He fell forwards, his body sprawled on the floor unceremoniously. He lifted his head just a little to look towards your body. He grasped ahead of him and found purchase on your hand, still warm as if you were there comforting him through death as he had for you.

He laid down on his back as he saw his life flashing before his eyes, your hand clasped in his, and he mourned the life that could have been. Perhaps in another life, another time, things would have ended differently.

[merlincmgirl]

Sex Pollen - Tup x FReader - NSFW

Summary: You’re a scientist working with the 501st collecting samples. Tup has been sent to accompany you on your expedition while camp is being set up.

Characters: Tup, Rex

Pairing: Tup x F!Reader

Word Count: 10,849

Warnings: PinV sex, fingering, oral sex (female receiving), hair pulling, dubious consent because of pollen, slight angst maybe?, pre-established relationship,

Authour's Note: So I was writing this before I went into hospital, so I hope it all makes sense. I've checked it but just in case :)

The planet that you landed on was extraordinarily beautiful and extremely dangerous. The luscious pink trees and blue shrubbery were swaying easily in the warm breeze. The trees were taller than a walker and their trunks were as wide as a house. It was beautiful and to the untrained eye, it was a tranquil place, if you ignored all the dangerous wildlife and venomous plants that dotted the landscape.

The 501st had landed on the planet after reports of Separatist activity and that had been an understatement. The fighting had been finished by the time that you had been escorted on the planet by a squad of troopers. Your job was to research and catalogued fauna and flora for the Republic, to explore if there were any uses that could be garnered from the many different varieties of life that was on planets.

“Doctor, we’re still clearing this sector. I cannot guarantee your safety” Rex repeated firmly, before yelling out orders to a group of troopers setting up communication towers. “Give us a rotation and I’ll have someone escort you to get your samples, but until then I’d remain in the camp” Rex advised, cutting off your arguments.

“Captain Rex, I have complete faith that you’ve cleared these jungles. I just need an hour to collect the samples and then I’ll get on the cruiser and be out of your hair” you assured, following after him.

“Tup! Escort our scientist to collect her samples! I want 30 minutes check ins and under no circumstances is the civvie to head anywhere on her own. Clear?” Rex ordered, as Tup jogged over to him and you.

“Yes sir!”

You studied the trooper in front of you. He was tall, like all the clones, and his helmet held the 501st blue as all the other troopers around you. However, his shoulder plates and his helmet all showed a single blue tear. He held his DC-15 blaster in one hand as he also studied you. Truthfully, you weren’t sure what he was looking for but you hoped it was good.

“Lead the way, ma’am” he instructed, nodding his head at you before gesturing you to head into the jungle in front of him.

“Thank you, Tup. I promise we won’t be too long” you smiled, hoping it would set the tone for the following hour or so.

Pushing through the bushes and the large leaves in your path, you and Tup made your way further into the jungle. It was sweltering, and you regretted wearing your long overalls today while in the field.

The silence that had settled between you two was getting too heavy, and you needed to fill the silence. So you turned to look over your shoulder at Tup, noticing that he was scanning the area around you as you walked.

“I don’t know how you aren’t overheating in all that armour. I’m wearing this and I feel like I’m boiling alive” you stated jovially, tugging at your overalls. You were pleased to see that Tup jumped almost, obviously not expecting conversation with a nat-born.

“Oh… erm our bodysuits are climate controlled. Helps with moving to different planets and that” he explained, unsure if you really wanted to know.

“That makes a lot of sense. Unfortunately, the GAR gives the rest of us these shitty overalls that we’re meant to wear in the field” you complained, waiting for him to catch up with you so you could walk side by side. That seemed to surprise him as well, as he kept attempting to fall back a couple of steps, but you kept slowing your own stride until he seemed to just give up.

“Do you get much chance to go into the field?” Tup asked, voice sounding confused through his modulator.

“No, not really Tup, only time I really get off the ship is because of moments like this. Otherwise I’m stuck on the ship, just observing and testing plants” you chuckled, glancing at the map you had downloaded to help guide you in the jungle as you searched for the plants you needed.

“I haven’t seen you on the ship before or in the mess” Tup realised, helmet tilted towards you, and even through the black visor, you could feel his eyes on you.

“That’s true as well. I don’t really spend much time with people, I tend to keep myself to myself. And my plants of course” you grinned wryly, spotting one of the plants you needed to take samples from.

It was a lovely looking yellow flower, barely reaching ankle height but it had the most curious effect on living beings. It could cause those exposed to it to be in fits of giggles for an hour. There was some hope it could be repurposed and used in the medical fields.

Kneeling down in front of the plant, you were careful to not brush against it or let it get on your skin. Although you didn’t mind a laugh, an hour’s worth of laughter sounded the opposite of fun. Shrugging off your backpack, you collected all the sampling equipment that you needed. Carefully, you took samples of the pollen, petals, stem and roots to test further in your lab.

As you were finishing up, you turned around to see that Tup wasn’t paying any attention to you or his surroundings. Instead, he was bent over a large purple plant with green leathery spots dancing along it’s leaves and stem. You knew exactly what that was and reached out to pull Tup away.

“Ah, I wouldn’t touch that one Tup!” you warned him, tugging him further back and keeping your own mouth covered.

“Why?” he asked, taking several steps back as he looked between you and the flower he had been observing. There was a sense of hesitancy and nervousness as he took in your covered face and he reached up to his own helmet and tugged it further on his head.

“Because otherwise we’ll have to get you to Kix pronto” you explained, cutting back on the detail that he would be feeling quite sick from both ends of his body. Nobody wanted to go through that, and you didn’t want sweet Tup to go through it either.

“Oh… fair enough” he murmured, willing to go with your advice and to stay away from it. “Did you get what you needed?” he inquired, as you knelt down to place the samples in your bag.

“Yes, this specimen has been collected, I’ve only got a couple more to do” you smiled, pushing yourself back onto your feet and swinging your bag back on your shoulders. Tup came forward, helping you slip your arms into the loops. “Thanks Tup” you said, appreciating his kind gesture.

“No problem, mesh’la. Where we heading now?” he murmured, seeming to straighten up and take a step away from you.

You didn’t mind, knowing that he was probably just being respectful and giving you your space. The clones were exceedingly respectful. Truly a breath of fresh air from the men that you had dated in the past. “It’s not far from here, we’ve got to go West for about 10 minutes” you told him, reading the map on your vambrace.

Tup came over to look and he nodded in agreement. “You’re right, shouldn’t take us long to get there. You’re a good map reader, mesh’la” he praised, voice full of admiration as he fell into step beside you once more.

Heat rushed to your cheeks and you prayed that he wouldn’t notice. “Thanks, I kind of have to be, otherwise I’d never be able to find the samples in all this wilderness” you chuckled, remembering the time when you had first started and it took you over 2 hours to find the plant. It had been a learning experience for sure.

“With the droids gone, it’s not so bad” he shrugged, pushing away the overhanging branches that blocked your path.

“No, it certainly isn’t” you agreed, flashing a smile at his helmet. Even though his face was obscured, you felt like he was looking at you too, that your eyes were meeting through the black visor. “Although, I’m not sure if this planet would be right for me, it’s boiling hot and we’re not even in the planet’s summer time” you grimaced, pulling at your overalls to try and get some air flowing into them.

As you walked and talked, you came to a small ditch in the jungle floor, a small brook running through it. Tup held his hand out to you, ready to help you across. His glove felt lovely in your hand, and you could feel his warmth seep through the material as he helped guide you steadily over to the other side. “Mind your step, mesh’la” he warned, as you landed wobbly next to him.

Gripping his arm to steady yourself against him, you smiled, glad to have him with you. Getting all dirty and muddy was not on the cards today. “Thank you, Tup” you bid him, squeezing the hand that was in yours once more before pulling away. “The plant should be just along here” you told him, heading off in the right direction but making sure that you stayed close to Tup.

As you walked and talked, you couldn’t help but admire the trooper next to you. He told you about becoming a fully fledged member of Torrent Company and the 501st. After teasingly called him a shiny, he had insisted on telling you how he earned his paint and how the teardrop was representative of the grief and remembrance of his fallen brothers.

“I’m sorry for your loss Tup, it’s never easy losing family” you said softly, reaching to squeeze his elbow in support and sympathy.

“No, but it’s our duty. We do what we have to do” Tup sighed, shrugging his shoulders like it was nothing. It probably was the truth to him, what could he do to change the countless amounts of brothers that had been killed? Nothing, he could only continue to fight and hope the end of the war was coming soon.

Oh this poor man, he had such a sweet and tender soul, he was so sensitive to the war around him and the cost that he and his brothers could pay. You wished that you could end this war, for the sake of him, and the rest of the clones.

“But, I’m glad to have met you. If the war didn’t happen, then this research mission would never have happened and I wouldn’t be here” Tup reminded, bumping his shoulders with yours. He hoped to cheer you up, to not let you become too lost in the thoughts that ran through your head.

A startled laugh escaped you and you turned to look at him in surprise. “Yes, I suppose you’re right, that is a very positive way to look at it” you nodded, “I’m glad to have met you too, Tup. I hope we can continue our talks when we’re back on the ship.”

Even without seeing his face, Tup’s whole body language showed you just how happy he was of the idea as he straightened up, his shoulders relaxing and his head tilted down to yours to give you 100% of his attention.

“Oh, here’s the next one. Sorry, I was so lost in our conversation, I nearly missed it” you grinned, kneeling down in front of Tup and beginning to examine the plant in front of you.

Tup cleared his throat, stepping away before surveying the environment around you both, blaster still resting in his hand, just in case. He kept glancing at you every few seconds though, unable to tear his gaze away from you delicately taking samples of this new plant you wished to study.

“Do you need any help?” he offered, noticing nothing of concern in the area on his HUD display.

“Trying to get this over as soon as possible, Tup?” you teased, placing the root into a glass jaw and sealing it up. You couldn’t help but feel pleased at the shocked splutter he let out at that.

“Of course not, mesh’la! I just meant that it seems unfair for you to do all this work on your own when I’m here to help” Tup explained, hand reaching up to the back of his neck.

If he didn’t have his helmet on, you were sure that he would rub the back of his neck. It seemed that Tup had a nervous tick, and you couldn’t help but find it adorable. Turning to face him, you sent him a reassuring smile.

“I know Tup, don’t you worry. I’m just teasing” you assured, packing everything back into your bag. “Besides, you’re doing the most important job. Making sure I don’t get eaten by wild animals or kidnapped by some errant droids that are hanging around” you pointed out, glad that you had him to watch your back. Again, he reached down to offer you his hand, pulling you back up to your feet. Tup was such a gentleman.

“I wouldn’t count on droids being this far into the forest. They’re more than likely to end up tripped over roots or something” Tup said, hoping to reassure you that you weren’t in any danger, not from the droids at least. Wild animals were still a concern but he would protect you if any of them crossed your path.

“Now that, I can see!” you giggled, nudging Tup slightly to get him moving again. “Honestly, mother nature is wild. It’s not something that an algorithm would ever be able to predict” you informed him, shaking your head at the stupidity of the droids.

“I agree, they can be easy to fool, especially the B1s” Tup nodded, amusement clear in his voice as he thought back to his own experience with the droids and how he and his brothers could destroy them pretty easily.

“They are ridiculous!” you laughed, bumping into him and causing him to let out his own chuckle. “Whoever created them had no reason for making them so sassy” you shook your head, unable to look away from Tup as you felt like the smile on your face was going to make your cheeks sore later on. But Tup was so nice to hang out with, and he was kind and considerate of you, listening you you and being respectful of your opinions, even if they went against his own. He really was a breath of fresh air, and you hoped to continue your talks when you both returned to your duties on the ship. He was just so easy to be with.

As you headed further into the forest, you noticed the path getting smaller, running alongside the edge of a slope that ran further down into a small valley by the looks of it. You went first, insisting it was for the best as you held the map that would help you reach your final specimen.

“Just don’t look down, mesh’la” Tup advised as your eyes wondered over to the slope and travelled all the way down, down, down to the bottom. “Keep moving forward, you’ll be alright” he soothed, resting his hand on your lower back to help move you forward as you were frozen.

Taking in a deep breath, you focused on putting one foot in front of the other, looking ahead of you rather than down.

However, you should have been looking down at your feet. Your foot snagged on a gnarly root sticking up from the ground. “Whoa!” you cried, tripping over the root and feeling yourself start to fall.

“Are you ok-WHOA!” Tup yelled, hand reaching out to steady you. It probably wasn’t the best reaction; however you grabbed onto him instinctively, both of you tumbling down a hill. Tup grabbed at you, trying to place himself around you protectively to take the brunt of the impact.

Groaning, you clung onto him as tightly as you could, closing your eyes as you felt yourself roll and roll, hitting into plants and branches and rocks on the way down. It seemed like forever until you reached the bottom. The air was knocked out of you as Tup landed heavily on your chest, the pair of you dazed as you caught your breaths.

“You okay mesh’la?” Tup groaned, pushing himself up and checking you over.

Thankfully there was no broken bones but you felt sore. Rolling down a hill was a lot different as an adult compared to when you were a child. “I’m okay, just a little sore, are you okay, Tup?” you murmured, brushing away the leaves and brambles that were stuck on you. You noticed a curious pink pollen stuck to your clothes and your hands. Raising it to your nose, it smelled slightly sweet but nothing of concern.

“I’m good, that was quite a fall though. We’ve been knocked off course” he realised, looking back up to the top of the slope where you should have been. “I should update Captain Rex, let him know we’ll be back later than planned” Tup smiled, holding out a hand to you.

Looking up into his helmet, you smiled at the clone, glad that he had some protection on his head. All that armour was probably a good thing in situations such as this. You were lucky that he protected you from the worst of it. Grabbing his hand, you let him haul you back to your feet, surprised when you landed practically against his chest.

“Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable” Tup murmured, taking off his helmet and revealing lovely flushed cheeks.

Maker was he handsome! Even though he was a clone, he looked different from others you had seen, his sharp cheekbones and lovely-kissable lips made your heart flutter. The tattoo that was painted on his helmet matched the one on his face, the teardrop under his right eye, adding to his gorgeous face. His hair was pulled up into a tight bun at the top of his head, and you couldn’t help but imagine what it would feel like to let that top knot down. “That’s alright, Tup, you didn’t” you assured, squeezing his hand.

However your eyes were drawn to his chest plate and his hands. They were also covered in a thick layer of pink pollen. “Oh, looks like you landed in it too! At least the pink and blue both suit you” you chuckled, brushing some of the pollen off him. His nose scrunched up adorably and you had to bite back the smile that spread across your face.

“It suits you more than me, mesh’la” he smiled wryly, before his vambrace beeped with an incoming message. “I should really answer this. You just sit down, take a couple of deep breathes in and then we should be heading back” Tup instructed, nodding his head to you sweetly before heading further away to take the comm.

Sighing, you sat back on the ground, trying to ignore the ache in your shoulders and back. Maker you would be sore tomorrow. Although Tup had protected you from the worst of the fall, his plastoid armour was still hard and heavy. When he had pressed down on you with every roll, you had felt the way the armour had no give, instead building pressure against you with every roll. It didn’t matter, as long as you both were okay, but you were sure you’d no doubt have a few bruises and scratches from Tup’s armour. Not that you minded him leaving a few bruises on you, he could leave a few more if he wanted.

Frowning, you pulled yourself back with that thought. Where had that idea came from? Yes Tup was very attractive, but you had only just met him, you barely knew anything about each other. So why were you thinking about Tup pressing marks into your skin, marking you anywhere he wanted.

Shaking your head to try and clear it, you absently brushed the pink pollen away from your chest. Maybe it was the heat that was getting to you, or maybe it was the events of the day changing rapidly. Whatever the reason, you refused to objectify Tup like that. He was a soldier, and one that you wanted to know even more.

It took a few moments before you realised that white boots were in your vision and you looked up to see Tup staring at you with a soft, affectionate look before he tapped on his vambrace.

“That was the Captain, he’s been informed of our delay. He ordered us to collect the sample as quickly as possible and then make our way back to camp” he informed you before bringing up a map of the area on his vambrace. “We should head up this way to get back on the path we need. It’s too dangerous to walk up the slope again, it’s much too steep, and I don’t want to risk you getting hurt if you were to fall again” Tup instructed, pointing out the map to you and the key areas.

“Of course, that sounds like the best plan!” you mumbled, pushing yourself up and brushing yourself off. You had a job to do, it was important for the war effort and it would help the GAR. Whatever you were feeling didn’t matter when compared to the mission at hand.

“Come on then mesh’la” he encouraged, waiting for you to lead the way.

As you walked, you unfortunately had to take the long way to your final plant, and you couldn’t help but feel flushed. It was getting increasingly humid, and you were trying to fan yourself as much as possible as you walked. It felt like your legs were walking through jelly, feeling drained and heavy as you pushed yourself forward. The conversation between you and Tup had dried up, almost as quickly as any moisture on your body in this consuming heat.

Frowning, you loosened your clothes as much as possible, trying to cool down and keep your focus on getting to the other plant that you had to investigate and collect a sample from. It felt like your brain was going to melt, your thoughts scattering as you longed for a reprieve.

Stumbling forward, Tup’s hand shot out and gripped your elbow, keeping you on your feet. His helmeted head tilted at you, silently asking if you were alright. “I’m good, must be all this heat” you assured him, standing up straighter and gripping the straps of your bag to keep you upright.

“Here, drink this. I think there’s a ravine not too far from our next target location. We can refill our canteens then” Tup offered, handing over his water canteen for you to take a drink from.

Murmuring a quiet thank you, you pressed the cool metal to your lips, taking a delicious sip of water. It cooled your parched throat, helping to cool you down a little. As your mouth was against the rim, a sudden thought rushed to the front of your brain. Tup must have drunk from this as well, your mouths pressed against the same rim of his canteen, your saliva mixing like it would with a kiss. Instantly that brought images up of Tup kissing you, how his mouth would feel against your own, his gentle lips prying yours open to deepen the kiss.

Blood rushed to your face and the heat returned once more, searing through your body and stopping at your core. You couldn’t help but clench your thighs together at the thoughts and images that your mind conjured up.

“Everything alright?” Tup questioned, seeing the way you flushed and had stopped drinking. He rested a hand on your shoulder, hoping the supportive weight would help you feel grounded. Maybe he should have run a scan on you to make sure you weren’t injured.

Pulled back to your senses, you quickly nodded, plastering a strained smile on your face. “I’m alright, thank you Tup” you replied, handing him back his canteen. “We should get a move on. We’re not too far away from the other plant” you reminded, stepping away from him in the hope to hide your flushed face and just how nice it felt to have him standing so close to you.

Kriff! You had to get a grip! This was no way to act around Tup, especially when he was helping you and keeping you alive from who knows what creatures in this forest. You shook your head, pushing the thoughts of Tup and how amazing he would feel against you from your mind. You had a job to do and you would do it.

Finally, after walking for a bit longer, you managed to find the last of your flowers that you would have to sample. Collecting everything you needed was harder this time, it felt like your limbs moved at a sluggish pace, as though unwilling to follow through on your instructions. Cursing quietly, you took a sample of the root and shoved it into the jar that you needed to put it in.

Breathing heavily, you glanced around to see Tup bent over, examining something on the bark of a tree. It was harmless, only the moss that was native to this region. But what really drew you attention was the way his skid-plate hugged the curves of his ass. The way the black material stretched underneath it, giving just a small hint to what he would look like without the armour in the way. It would be a very distracting ass you were sure.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t realise that Tup had turned, and your gaze was still locked onto where his ass had been. Now, his codpiece was firmly in your eye sight and you could just imagine how uncomfortable they must be to wear if they were suddenly aroused.

A cough caught your attention, and you were mortified to look up into Tup’s expressionless helmet. Curse those things for taking away your ability to read his face. He must be so uncomfortable right now, noticing how you were leering at him. Thank the stars that he couldn’t read your thoughts, otherwise he’d be running back to camp without you.

“Sorry… er I… was erm… thinking” you stuttered out, internally wincing when those words were not helpful.

“It’s alright, mesh’la” he assured.

Was it your imagination that his voice seemed a lot more huskier even through the speakers of his helmet? It couldn’t be, Tup wouldn’t see you like that, you’d only just met the man.

“Just wondering if you’re finished up? We can refill our canteens up on the way and still make good time” Tup suggested, kneeling beside you to help gather everything up.

“Thanks Tup, you’re a gentleman” you smiled, carefully packing up your specimen bag and glancing up at him. You were so close you could feel the heat radiate off him, even with his armour in the way. If only he could just take off his helmet, you’d be able to see those beautiful eyes once more.

His hand came to rub the back of his neck before falling down when he realised it did nothing with the plastoid in the way. “Er thanks… you’re welcome” he stumbled over his words, before once again offering you his hand to help you stand. He rubbed his gloved thumb over your hand as he felt you squeeze it in return.

You led the way, glancing down at your map every so often to make sure you stayed on course. Although, with Tup behind you, it was comforting to know that if you veered off, he’d be able to steer you back on course. It was good to have someone so competent and talented with you. Because at the moment, you didn’t think you were 100% focused as you should be.

Sweat was beading along your neck and it was getting even hotter as you trekked back onto the path you were meant to be on. You pulled at the neck of your shirt, feeling the material stick uncomfortably to your skin. Why was it getting hotter? The sun was starting to get lower in the sky, it should be getting cooler.

“Tup… is it?… Is it getting hotter out here?” you mumbled, reaching up to wipe the sweat from your brow.

“You feeling it too?” he huffed, taking off his helmet and swiping at his own forehead. He pushed a strand of curly hair away from his eyes and shook his head.

“Yeah… I think we’re gonna have to stop Tup” you suggested, resting back against a tree trunk. You reached for your canteen, cursing when it was nearly empty. Only a few drops left inside of it. You’d filled it up not long ago, when you had stopped for a break and to refill both of your canteens. Had you really been that hot to not notice you’d nearly emptied the canteen already?

“Here, have mine. I’ve got to update the Captain on our position” Tup offered, handing you his water canteen and stepping a little away from you.

Sending him a grateful smile, you placed the bag down and sat on a nearby rock, taking eager sips of water from Tup’s canteen. You resolutely pushed aside the thoughts of once more locking lips with Tup.

Resting a hand on your chest, you could feel the way your heart was beating rapidly. Too quick even for walking through the forest. After resting and drinking, it should be going down, however it seemed to be remaining stubbornly high. Frowning, you checked your exposed skin, seeing how your skin was darkened from the heat. Your breaths were coming too fast as well, the humid air not doing anything for help. Something wasn’t right, you could feel it.

Suddenly it hit you, all that combined with the heat meant that you were having a reaction of some kind. Tup was also feeling the heat, his whole body covered with a layer of sweat. Even with his climate controlled blacks on. The thought of the pink pollen that had clung to both you and Tup after rolling down the hill came to mind. You had both been covered in the stuff, and you had sniffed it as well. That must be what you were both reacting to.

Wracking your brain, you thought of all the plants that could produce sweet smelling, sticky pollen that was native to this planet or system. You could think of a few that would cause this reaction, but none of them were from this planet, but was native to another a few planets over.

Tup came back while you were lost in thought, trying to figure out what was going on with you. He sat down beside you, gently taking the canteen back and taking a swig from it himself. He sighed heavily, running a hand over his brow before shifting uncomfortably on the ground.

“Tup?” you murmured, and he hummed in response, glancing up at you from his position at your feet. “Can you remember what plants we fell in, Tup?” you wondered, shrugging off the top of your overalls, tying them around your waist.

“I’m not too sure, I think I saw a flower that looked like this” he frowned, tracing a long, elegant petalled flower. It had a thick, twisted stem from what he could draw into the dirt.

Coupled with the pink pollen, you instantly recognised just what type of plant you were dealing with. The dread settled in your stomach, the cool panic almost a relief against the rising heat that was going on with the rest of your body. You had disregarded this plant because it shouldn’t be here, it didn’t mean it wasn’t.

“Tup, I’m so sorry! Things might be getting a bit awkward very soon. We landed in a patch of aphrodisiac plants that are native to the system. However they’ve never been found on this planet, I don’t know how they’ve managed to come over, but they’re an invasive species. The effects only last until the urges are sated, but they’re fast acting. It’s why we’re already sweating, a higher heart rate, increase pupils and… uh increase urges” you explained, cheeks flushing as you felt the affect of the plant. Your stomach cramped, and you knew it would get worse the longer you left it.

Now that you recognised what was going on, you couldn’t help but notice the slick feeling in your pants and the way your thighs had been rubbing together all the time you had been sitting down. Glancing into his eyes, you could indeed see how blown his pupils were, the brown almost completely disappeared. You could imagine your own eyes were pretty similar.

Kriff! This would be so embarrassing, you didn’t know if you could make it all the way back to camp like this. It already felt like too much for you.

Tup shifted a bit further away, biting his lip as he pressed on his codpiece. He’d been feeling the affects for a while, putting it down to the climate and the trekking for specimens. However, even he hadn’t been able to ignore the way that his blacks had tightened considerably with every twitch of his cock. The way his blood had rushed down to chub him up as his eyes strayed to your tantalising hips and your ass.

He had been reprimanding himself all through the walk, reminding himself that this was a civilian contractor, a nat-born as well, they didn’t take kindly to any reminders that he was flesh and blood. But you had been different and it had been hard to look away from how beautiful you were. Especially when he had caught you looking at him as well. To know you were feeling the same way towards him as well… it made him feel consumed with want and need for you.

“We… we have to… give into our urges to make it stop?” Tup questioned, not knowing how to approach this. It certainly wasn’t part of his lessons back on Kamino.

“Yeah, I uh, think you might have to call for a pick up. I don’t know if I’ll be able to manage walking back to camp, I’m sorry Tup” you winced, feeling the throbbing in your core become more pronounced as his tongue came out to flick against his lip.

“Not your fault, mesh’la. You didn’t plan for this” Tup assured, wiping his brow. “It might take a while for them to reach us” Tup admitted, noticing the density of trees around them. His brothers wouldn’t be able to land a craft or drive a speeder through here.

“Kriff! We might have to deal with this ourselves. I can go over there and you can stay here and we can… we can pleasure ourselves until it’s out of our system” you suggested, somehow your face grew hotter and hotter, even though you already felt on fire.

Tup groaned, eyes flickering shut at the thought of you going off to touch yourself. But still, a part of his brain reminded him of the possible dangers you could face if you were lost in pleasure. He wouldn’t be able to protect you if you went too far away from him and danger came for you.

“We could… we could stay here together… help each other?” he breathed, unsure how you would react to his suggestion. You had only just met and now he was offering for you to sleep together to stop this urge and desperation that was clawing at you both.

“I don’t want to force you to do something you don’t want to” you sighed, unable to stop reaching for him and laying a hand on his arm.

Tup’s eyes met yours, the lust and desire hard to miss in his gaze, but he frowned heavily at your words. “You wouldn’t be” he promised, sure of that. It was cute how you worried about taking this choice away from him, but he was certain of how he felt about this, about you. He only hoped you felt the same.

“Sleeping together would work” you confirmed, gaze falling to the way he was panting, his lips parted and already moist from the way he kept licking them.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Tup asked again, beads of sweat already pooling across his brow once more, and he swiped them away in frustration. He already began unclipping his armour, the chest plate falling to the floor as he stood to help get rid of the rest. It helped a little, but not a lot, the heat still racing through him.

“Yes, I’m sure Tup. Are you? I can… I can deal with this myself if you don’t want to do this” you said, offering him a way out. Even at the painful stomach cramps were starting to become constant. Whining softly, you pressed a hand to your stomach.

“I’m sure, mesh’la… I… you’re lovely and maybe after all this is over… we can go out… maybe” Tup muttered, and his face went impossibly redder and he groaned at the sight of you standing and beginning to pull your top over your head.

“Tup, I want that too. But now, I really need you to come over here and touch me” you growled, wanting to feel the way his body would feel against yours, the hard angles of his chest pressing into your soft curves. You could just imagine how those lips would feel wrapped around your breasts. Moaning, you gritted your teeth against the tide of want-need-pleasure that washed over you.

As soon as the words had left your lips, Tup was closing the distance he had self imposed between you, hand wrapping around the nape of your neck and dragging you to him. His lips slotted over your own, the kiss passionate and desperate as you tugged on his blacks, pulling him as close as possible to you. His other arm wrapped around your waist, pushing your overalls off until they pooled at your feet. Tightening his grip around your waist, he picked you up, moving you away from them and allowing you to kick off your boots.

Moaning into his mouth, you pulled away with a heaving chest as you looked up into his beautiful brown eyes. The pupils were blown wide, only leaving a lovely ring of brown around it. He was just as desperate and affected as you by the pollen, and you could feel it in the way that he was pressing against you as well. Slipping your hands down from his chest, you trailed them down until you reached his codpiece. If he was just as needy as you, then you couldn’t imagine how uncomfortable this must be feeling at the moment. So you deftly unclipped it from his blacks and threw it behind him somewhere, not caring where it landed.

Tup let out a loud groan of relief, before pressing his hard covered cock against you. Hearing the soft gasp you let out at that, he began grinding into you, the friction giving him no relief against the burning need pulsing through him.

“Kriff, mesh’la, I need to have you. Please, please let me taste you” he pleaded, burying his face into your neck and raining open mouth kisses along there.

The thought of his mouth drinking in your juices, sucking at your clit and his tongue pushing inside of you had you digging your nails into his bronze skin. “Yes! Fuck yes, I want that Tup” you hissed out, stomach cramping at the thought of him.

Tup grinned against the side of your neck before pulling away and drawing you into another kiss, his hands working on releasing you from your bra, while yours tugged on the top of his blacks.

Growling in annoyance, you pulled away from Tup and grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it of and over his head with little gentleness. You wanted to feel him, to see his gorgeous body for yourself, not let it be hidden beneath the annoying blacks that the troopers wore.

Chuckling at your enthusiasm, Tup laid it down on the ground, reaching for your overalls to do the same. He laid it out as best as he could in a makeshift blanket before grabbing your hand and pulling you to lie down. “I don’t want to hurt you by fucking you against a tree, mesh’la. And I’m sorry we couldn’t do this in a bed, so this is the next best thing” he apologised, wanting to make you comfortable as much as possible.

Maker this man! How was he so sweet and thoughtful in a time like this. Cupping his face, you gave him a bright smile. “All I want is you Tup, it don’t matter if we’re in a bed or in a forest. That you’re worried about that… I’m just so glad that it was with you Tup” you sighed, threading your fingers through his hair and pulling him down with you in a kiss. Carefully, you let your fingers undo his topknot, and you were rewarded with his long curls cascading down around you. He was gorgeous, and the sigh of pleasure Tup let out as you ran your fingers across his scalp had slick soaking into your already drenched panties.

Tup kissed along your cheeks, reaching the hinge of your jaw and letting his teeth graze over it before he worked his lips down your neck. “So soft, you’re so soft” he murmured, hand coming up to tilt your face upwards so he could have more room exploring your neck. He lavished attention on you, marking and sucking bruises into your pretty skin.

You sighed, running your hands through his curls and tugging at the long strands. His groans vibrated against your neck and you couldn’t help but repeat the action, enjoying the way you were affecting him. “So sweet, Tup, you sound so pretty” you breathed, eyes slipping closed as he kissed his way past your collarbones and down your chest. Every touch of his skin felt soothing against your heated skin. Like aloe Vera against a burn, soothing and cool against the fire that had spread through you.

Tup groaned, nuzzling his nose against your breasts at the way your fingers felt against him. His large hands trailed across your stomach, along your sides and up to your breasts, cupping them in each hand. Ducking his head, he captured your nipple in his mouth, flicking his tongue over the nub and squeezing your mounds. His thumb gently brushed against your other nipple, encouraging it into a stiff peak that he could play with and pinch.

“Tup!” you gasped, tugging at his hair to pull him up to kiss him. He relented, allowing you to drag him up your body to press your lips against his, tongues playing and sliding against each other. Letting out a small moan, you wrapped your leg around his waist to secure him to you. His hand squeezed your nipple before he nipped at your bottom lip and pulled away. Groaning, you felt your cramps come back as he stopped kissing and caressing you. “Don’t stop!” you grumbled, trying to pull him back to you.

“I want to taste you, mesh’la. It won’t stop until I get a taste of you” he growled, kissing down your body and hissing at the flash of heat that settled in his stomach. If he didn’t get his mouth on you, he knew he would combust. Groaning, he kissed along your stomach until he reached your pants, and he quickly hooked his fingers beneath the material and tugged it off.

As soon as they were off your legs, he wasted no time in burying himself into your core, the feel of his lips and tongue and teeth soothing you. He kitten licked at your clit for a moment before dragging his tongue down, parting your folds and groaning at the taste of you bursting along his tongue.

You cried out, one hand gripping onto his hair, the other digging into his shoulder, little crescent marks littering his skin. Your racing heart settled a little, but the need to feel Tup increased, and you tugged him harder into your core.

“That’s it sweetheart, show me what you want” Tup groaned, hands gripping your thigh and tugging you closer to his mouth. He threw your legs over his shoulder, they were spread wide as he fitted his broad self against you. He sounded so eager to taste more of you, little moans and growls falling from his mouth, as he sucked one of your folds into his mouth, running his tongue against it up and down before dropping back to your entrance. His tongue prodded at your hole before slowly licked into you, opening you up for him as gently as possible.

As you felt him slide his tongue inside of you, a surge of pleasure washed over you, taking your breath away. Cursing softly, you threw your head back, not really focused on the treeline above you, Tup was taking too much of your attention with the way he kept you still for him as he feasted on you. Whining, your bucked your hips up into his mouth, searching for more of his talented tongue.

However Tup pulled away, sending you a teasing look. You almost growled at him in response. “So eager, mesh’la, are you that needy?” he asked, hands running up and down your quivering thighs.

“You said to show you what I wanted, and I am” you complained, pout forming on your face as you reached to stroke down his arm. He shivered and you couldn’t help but grin, pushing yourself up into a sitting position and trailing along his chest.

Tup sent you a contrite grin before leaning forward to peck at your lips. “Alright mesh’la, I did say that. Lie back down for me, I still want to be able to taste you on my tongue for days afterwards” he grinned, helping you to lie back down. He settled himself back in between your legs, nuzzling into your inner thigh before sucking a mark there.

Sighing at the bruise that would blossom there, you couldn’t think of a better reminder of what was happening to you when you looked in the mirror after this.

Seemingly to have enough of teasing you, he returned to your dripping entrance, surging forward to drink you down and tease you with his tongue. One hand came to grip at your thigh, pushing them wider to fit his broad shoulders and the other came to press alongside his tongue inside of you. He collected your slick and his saliva before sliding his finger into your entrance.

“Tup!” you moaned, twirling his strands between your fingers and pulling him closer to you. He chuckled against you, lips pressing open mouthed kisses up to your clit before taking it into his luscious lips. Tup moaned around you, losing himself in the taste of you bursting along his tongue while his finger stretched you out before he pressed a second finger into you.

Groaning at the stretch of his thick fingers, you pushed back into him, trying to get him to give you more. The heat was building more and more, and you could already feel Tup helping to make you feel good, pushing you towards the edge as he sucked harshly on your clit, fingers curling and scissoring inside of you.

You reached down to guide his hand, showing him just what you liked. Tup groaned, letting his hand follow your instruction as his tongue flicked at your clit, drawing maddening circles against your button of pleasure. However, just as you felt yourself approach the edge of release, it all stopped. It was like there was no other way to continue, you hit a wall and couldn’t finish.

Grunting in irritation, you bucked your hips into Tup’s face, trying to chase the pleasure that he was giving you. “Please, Tup! Please, right there, please!” you begged, desperate to reach that release. Whining softly, you tugged and bucked into him but nothing happened. Even when Tup pressed a third finger into you, curling them and rubbing against the spot that always made you see stars, again nothing happened.

Tup gave your clit a lazy suck and pulled away, frown forming on his face as he saw your distress. “Mesh’la? Are you okay?” he whispered, crawling up your body and cupping your face.

“It’s not working Tup!” you whined, already feeling the heat and cramps returning to you as your heart raced. “I can’t cum, not on your fingers or your mouth” you sighed, tears brimming as your need for Tup increased.

“I’m sorry” Tup apologised, face falling as he pressed closer into you. “What can I do to help?” he asked, thinking of different positions or ways he could use his mouth to make sure you could cum with him. He hated seeing you in pain, the pollen still pulsing in your veins as you demanded satisfaction, something he wasn’t able to give you at the moment.

“No… not you” you mumbled, shaking your head and dragging your hands down his back. “I don’t think it’ll work until we… until we… fuck!” you hissed, burying your head into the crook of his neck. The cramps were rolling through you, and you could barely keep still as you tried to find relief. Tup let out a shaky moan as you warm, wet centre connected with his covered length. His hips ground down into you, and you let out a stuttered moan at the heat that was pulsing in between you two.

“We were… we were mesh’la” he gasped, as you licked at the hinge of his jaw, grazing your teeth along it and causing him to shudder.

“No I mean… need you to fuck me… need your cock. Only way Tup, please” you begged, hands sliding down his gorgeous body and finding the trail of dark hair that led to his lower blacks. You pushed them over his slim hips, and he lifted up enough to push them off his long legs before returning back to you.

“Yeah, yeah mesh’la… I need to be inside of you. Please, I need to feel you” Tup murmured, his own need and the fire in his veins getting worse. Already he could feel the sweat bead across his skin, as he lay open mouthed kisses along your collarbone.

Unable to resist any more, you let out a huff of air, trying to calm your racing heart and your erratic breathing. As you went to turn over onto your hands and knees, Tup gripped at your waist, stopping you. “No, I want to see your face… please” he begged, thumb rubbing delicious circles into your hips that had your mind going hazy at the gentle, reassuring touch. Nodding, you pulled him further into you, your legs curling with his as he nuzzled his nose against yours.

Tup settled himself between your legs, pushing them wider so he could press his cock against you. He ran his hands up and down your inner thighs, squeezing them and admiring the handfuls he could grab. His cock slid between your folds, head nudging at the bundle of nerves.

“Tup!” you gasped, hooking a leg around his waist to tug him closer to you. You had enough with teasing, you felt like you would self-combust if you didn’t have his cock inside of you right now.

“I know, mesh’la” he cooed, hips rocking and sliding his cock against you even more. He groaned as you reached for him, warm hands sliding over his chest and shoulders. Unable to resist any more, Tup gripped the base of his cock, lining it up to your slicked entrance and only pushed in the tip of his cock.

Even after having his mouth and fingers working you open, there was an initial burn of pain as he stretched you with the head of his cock. Moans filled the air, both yours and Tup’s as he slowly pressed further inside of you. The head of his cock was wide, but it tapered down to a thinner shaft that was long and seemed never ending as he penetrated you.

Having him inside of you was already cooling down the heat that was burning through your veins, replacing it with a fire that was much more recognisable as your own desire. Gasping as he finally bottomed out into you, balls pressed to your ass, you whined, looping your arm around his neck and bringing Tup down for a kiss.

It was as passionate and kind as him, even when he nipped at your bottom lip it was full of affection, and you clung onto him tighter. The feel of him filling you up inside and the way his lips felt against yours was fanning the flames in your core.

“So beautiful, you’re so perfect” Tup panted, pulling away to lay a steadying hand on your hip. “Can I move?” he asked, jaw fluttering as you tightened around him at the question. He had to control himself from grinding further into you.

“Yes! Please Tup, I want you to move” you pleaded, running your hands down his sides until you met his ass, squeezing the cheeks and encouraging him to move.

Tup flashed you a soft smile before pulling out, a groan falling from his lips just as a moan fell from yours. He looked down to see his cock slide out of you, his length already sticky with your arousal before he drove back into you.

The gasp that you let out echoed around the clearing as you felt yourself open up more for him. Forcing your eyes open, you met his gorgeous, honey-coloured eyes, watching as he took in the way your mouth fell open. Lust and desire burned fiercely in his eyes, but there was also affection and care, he wanted to make sure you were enjoying yourself as well. You hoped that he could see that reflected in your own eyes as well.

Rolling his hips back, Tup set out a steady pace, but the need to drive into you was getting stronger and stronger with each thrust. His heart was racing, heat was coiling in his stomach and at the base of his neck – the pollen demanding satisfaction – but he wanted to make sure that he didn’t hurt you.

“It’s okay, Tup! Fuck! Oh” you cried, wrapping both of your legs around him. “I won’t break, I can take it” you managed to get out between his powerful thrusts, spearing you open around him.

Tup growled, jaw tightening as he gripped the legs around his waist and pushed them further into your chest. He leant forward, hips beginning to drive down into you at a pace that was almost too much.

“Fuck! Fuck Tup!” you sobbed, each thrust of his cock driving deeper into you at the change of position. It was sending your pleasure rocketing, the feel of his wide tip forcing it’s way in between your walls, the way you clenched around him making him feel even bigger and longer inside of you. Reaching up, you grabbed a fistful of his hair, tugging hard on the strands so he would look at you.

The trooper let out a loud, broken moan at the feel of your fingers pulling at his hair, and his hips rocked into yours harder. His eyes met yours, blown wide with pleasure and lust now that he was fucking into you.

“So good, so good mesh’la, feel perfect around me” he groaned, angling his hips slightly and cursing as he felt you clenched down on him. He gripped your tender thighs strongly, fingers digging into the plush flesh and knowing you would have bruises in the shape of his fingers long after this.

“Right there! Oh! Right there Tup” you begged, feeling the way his cock suddenly brushed against that spot inside of you. With each thrust in and withdrawal out, it rubbed against you and made you clutch tighter onto him.

Panting heavily, you pulled him down towards you, crying out as your legs were pressed into your chest, leaving little room between you and Tup. One of his hands came to squeeze at your breast, groaning when he pinched at the stiffened peak as he continued to pound you into the dirt.

The coil inside of you grew tighter and tighter and you knew this would be it. He would make you cum, make you shake as you finally found your release. It felt like you were gushing around him already, and you couldn’t suppress the cries and moans that you let out at every thrust of his lithe hips against yours.

Tup hissed out, nuzzling his face against yours and squeezing his eyes tight as he tried to keep up the rhythm he had set. “I don’t- I can’t- I won’t last” he panted out, hips faltering already as he felt his balls tighten and raise up. The wave of pleasure was already washing over him, he didn’t think he would last much longer.

“’T’s okay, want you, want to feel you cum inside me” you mumbled, brushing your lips against his as you cupped his face reassuringly.

Tup gritted his teeth and shook his head, the hand on your chest snaking down in between you to flick at your clit. You let out a sob, ecstasy flooding you at the move and you held onto him tighter. “Want you… want you to cum with me… please” he begged, rubbing the tips of his fingers against the swollen bundle of nerves.

The sound of him begging and the way he expertly pushed and rubbed at your clit had you sobbing, nodding your head in agreement. You’d do whatever he wanted just as long as he kept fucking you like this.

“Cum with me. Please cyare, cum with me” he grunted, hips beginning to falter as he felt his release wash over him.

You let out a wail, walls shuddering and clutching at his cock as you fell off the edge. Love, pleasure and satisfaction washed over you, it felt like every one of your nerves were firing off as you came around him. Barely able to catch your breath as the force of your release had you trembling around Tup.

You forced your eyes open, determined to see the way Tup’s brow furrowed, his teardrop moving with the motion and the way his mouth fell open, hitched breaths leaving his lips. Warmth flooded through you as Tup’s shot his load inside of you, his body shuddering and trembling against your own. Distantly you were thankful that you had the implant, because you could still feel him twitching inside of you.

As you both caught your breaths, Tup rolled himself off you and pulled you onto his chest. The flamed desperation that had built inside of you because of the pollen was gone, leaving you both feeling pleasantly buzzed and sated. But that was probably down to the best orgasm of your life.

“How are you feeling?” he asked gently, his large palms stroking up and down your back. It felt nice to touch you so intimately without the clawing need burning through his body. He regretted that this would be a one time thing. There was no way you’d want him after this.

“I feel like I’m never going to be sad again. Like I’m floating on cloud nine and I don’t want to ever come down” you murmured, resting your head on his chest, listening to the way his heart stuttered at your words before beating fiercely. It was incredibly soothing to hear the beat of his heart and feel the warmth of his skin against yours.

“Me too. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this good” Tup murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“Not even when you were selected to be part of the 501st?” you inquired, leaning your head on his chest and looking up into his beautiful, soulful eyes. You could imagine being picked to be part of the infamous 501st would be a turning point for any young trooper.

“Not even then, Mesh’la” he grinned back, using his strength to pull you up his body so he could give you a gentle kiss.

Feeling warmth settle into your bones at his words, you allowed yourself a few more minutes to just cuddle up with Tup, letting yourselves relax into each other and listen to the sounds of the forest around you. It would be the only moment you two would have together, and you didn’t want it to end too soon. You felt so safe and warm in his arms, like the world just disappeared around you as long as he held you close to him.

Sighing heavily, Tup brushed his lips against yours one last time before he pulled away. “We’re going to have to get up, mesh’la” he murmured, glancing at the sky. The sun was beginning to set, dusk would soon be upon them and they still had to make it back to camp. Listening to your grumbles of protest, he couldn’t help but chuckle, bringing you back in for a kiss before you pushed yourself away from him.

“Fine! Fine! I guess we’ll have to. But I want it noted that I was perfectly content to just lie here for the rest of the night” you protested, looking around for your clothes.

“Duly noted” he smiled, sending you a wink and a cocky salute.

After pulling your clothes back on, you watched Tup skilfully pull on his armour and tie his hair up into a neat top knot once more. If anyone was to look at him, they’d had no idea that you had both been infected with sex pollen and had fucked it out of your systems. You really didn’t want to forget about what happened between the two of you.

Even though you had been infected by the sex pollen, you still had never felt such a connection with anybody else before. The way you both moved together felt so natural and even before, it was so easy to talk to Tup, discussing many topics that you didn’t think he would like but showed you knowledge in those areas. Tup was a breath of fresh air, and you wanted to take him all in.

“Hey, maybe after we leave here… you could join me… for caf… in the mess?” you stuttered, grimacing at how unsure you sounded. You didn’t want to force him to be in your company, not after the way you two had fucked because of a plant. He might not want anything to do with you.

A relieved look passed over Tup’s face, his cheeks colouring slightly as he ducked his head, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I’d like that… a lot, mesh’la” he smiled softly, hope flaring in his chest. He wouldn’t pass up this opportunity to get to know you better, treat you like he would have done if he had met you properly.

Before you could reply, an annoying beep was let out from Tup’s vambrace, pulling you both back to reality. Tup scooped it up, and when he answered, the profile of Captain Rex greeted you. “Tup, where are you? You’re late checking in and you should have been on the way back ages ago” Rex reminded, lips thinning and eyes showing both his frustration and concern for his brother.

“Sorry Captain, there was a bit of a complication but it’s sorted now. We’re returning back to camp” Tup reported, instantly falling back into the role of soldier.

“Alright, just hurry up. It’ll be dark soon vod’ika, I don’t want to have to come get you myself, understand?” Rex sighed heavily, shaking his head.

You could see just how much Rex cared for his men and brothers. No doubt he would be the first to come and look for you as soon as it got dark – and he wouldn’t be as annoyed as he demonstrated he would me.

“Of course, Captain, we’re on the move now” Tup assured, sending his ori’vod a small smile before signing off.

Smiling, you gathered your things and slipped your hand into Tup’s. He squeezed it, and you couldn’t help but lean against him as he grabbed his blaster in his other hand. “Come on, looks like we’d best be getting back. I want to take you on our caf date as soon as possible” you told him, making him gape at you.

“A date?” he breathed, as though the thought hadn’t occurred to him that was what it would be.

“A date” you said firmly, leaning up to brush your lips against his.

[symbioticfic]

Producing Pleasure: Prologue

(Main story of Idol Alternate Universe)

Tags: Original Characters, no smut, just a teaser, an intro to the world

This is an alternate universe. Some events may differ from real life.

Thanks to @twice-inamillion The Company series for making me revive this idea from the drafts. Check out their awesome work on their blog.

-------------

“What?!”

“I said, I want you to produce our new girl group.” Mrs. Kwon repeats herself. You rub your face in disbelief, hoping your CEO is joking.

“With all due respect Ma’am, I’m already a leader of a group and you put me in charge to become our group creative director. That’s quite a lot. Why not choose Eunji or Keenan for the job?” you plead your case. All your focus is for your co-ed group, Twelve Six, along with Eunji and Keenan. With being creative director for your group and sometimes groups under your label, you don't want more stuff in your hand.

“Well, Eunji is also helping out as a composer for Phoenix. And Keenan is broadening our A&R connections. We may be an up and coming label in this industry, but we are still short staffed.” Slumping back to your chair, gears in your brain are working hard to find a way out of this.

“Then why don’t you hire someone who has experience doing this kind of stuff? I know you have the money to find one. If the three of us are spread thin like this, when are we going to make music?”

Mrs. Kwon always says that the three of you were geniuses and is the reason why OTB is the rising star of companies in Kpop. Take Shamrock for example. A thirteen member boy group and the first idol group under OTB. You recommended a talented Japanese street dancer that you used to battle and Keenan found a genius kid producer online. Both of them become important members of Shamrock. As for Eunji, she trained OTB’s first GG, Phoenix in vocals. With her and her sister, they composed and produced music for the five member group, resulting in them competing in the Red Sea of girl groups right now. Also not to mention, your group Twelve Six. Your group’s music is able to breakthrough the public listeners. Decades after the last big co-ed group, finally Twelve Six changed that. Now, Korea sees Twelve Six as “Music for the people” because of your group penmanship and music move and touch many people's souls, not just in Korea but also the world.

“Because I trust you and I see potential in you to be a great producer.” there she goes again, putting huge faith in you. Ever since joining your label, Out of The Box (OTB) Studios, you have been one of her favourites. As an experience street dancer and performer, also having a brain being a portal to fantasy world says Mrs. Kwon, she has pushed you to the limits. She even goes as far as creating you a co-ed group with her youngest daughter Kwon Eunji and a Korean American rapper named Keenan Shin. The three of you were born on the same day and year, the twelfth of June, hence the name Twelve Six comes from.

With all the money in the world and full trust on you, Mrs. Kwon will do anything to help you to become one of the greatest artists in K-pop. But you doubt your ability if you are given another responsibility.

“Listen, Choi Sesang.” you sit up straight as your CEO calls you by full government, “Just please look into this file and consider it.” a brown file is presented in front of you. Reluctantly, you take it and open it. The first name on the paper almost made you jump out of your seat. You flip through the pages and surprisingly most of the names are familiar to you.

“Ma’am, there are-”

“Yes, they were idols. Some had troubles with their past companies and ended their contracts, and some I bought them out of their contracts.” bloody hell this rich woman. Her way of using money to get what she thinks is the best for the company still baffles you even after years knowing her, “They deserve a second chance and I know you’re up for the job. And rumour has it, you have your ways with girls.” she gives you a teasing look.

“Your daughter really has a nasty mouth, you know that?” Mrs. Kwon laughs at you cursing her youngest daughter.

“I don’t care if what Eunji implied was the truth or not. But I do have my own eyes.” she says after calming herself, “Your relationship with the Phoenix girls is admirable. They see you as a brotherly figure and a safe space to talk to. Those girls are strong minded and some are hard to get through, but you easily befriend the girls. That is enough for me to know you’re the right person for this project.” you look down to the file in your hand, taking in all what Mrs. Kwon says. A heavy sigh escapes your lips.

“Okay, I’ll do it.”

“Splendid!” she claps her hand in joy, “Also, there is one thing I need to tell you.”

Here you go, the catch in all of this, “Doing this job means you have got out of your way to get the job done. I know you are a good kid and have been staying clean until now. But sorry to say son, you have to get your hands dirty with this one. It's part of the industry, the system. No matter how long you try to avoid it, your time will come.”

Saying those words with a beaming smile so easily creeps you off. Well, a CEO of a K-pop company is not exactly the most morally right person in the world. Mrs. Kwon has always been brutal when it comes to business and you are led into one of her traps. Situations like this remind you where Eunji gets her nasty personality from.

Defeated, you know there’s no way out of this. Your fate has been sealed by the devil. Already, you try to drown your mind to come to terms with this twisted system. With heavy heart, you look straight at Mrs. Kwon. You can see insanity behind her eyes.

“So… do the job by any means necessary?”

“Correct! There you go, already getting a hang of it.” it’s supposed to be a laugh of joy for Mrs. Kwon, but it feels like she’s laughing at you. Soon enough, you will be playing with people's lives just like her.

“The girls will be coming in next week. Prepare yourself, mind and body. I have a feeling you will like them.” with a smirk, she leaves the room. You groan as you throw yourself back into the chair. The dreaded day is near. By next week you will become one of those industry scumbags. You love performing and singing, but you despise the industry. Being in it long enough to know stuff. The girl that you will be working with surely also knows a thing or two.

Thinking about your doomed future only makes you mad at yourself. Feeling suffocated, you pack your stuff and go home, not before leaving a text in the group chat.

Chat Room

Three silly peas in a pot

You

@Enzy your mother is a fucking witch

Enzy

WHAT THE FUCK?!

I mean you’re not wrong

But still…

WHAT THE FUCK?!

THAT’S MY MUM YOU PRICK!

K.S.

LOL 😂

Dorms now

I need this juicy story 👹

_ _ _ _ _

Three days since you operate as the main producer for OTB’s new girl group. You’ve met with the company staff and instructors over the week to discuss the training program. These three days have been orientation and waiting for the rest of the girls to join the company. Today is the day where they all finally present and training will begin to ramp up.

You arrive at the company at eight. Not wanting any problem, you do a morning check up every day just to make sure. After doing that, you take a sip of your black coffee while looking through the girl's profile again. You seriously can not wrap your head around the names on the list. Mrs. Kwon really is a crazy businesswoman for getting these girls to become trainees again in your company.

“Damn they’re hot.” startled, you almost spilled your hot coffee onto the papers. You look back to see Keenan peeking over your shoulder. His curly dark brown hair really needs a cut. It almost pokes your eye.

“Could you not sneak up on me like that?”

“You’re the one who’s busy staring at these profiles.”

“Hey!” he takes a seat next to you and slides the file over to him. You let him be, as you need a break from reading those papers over and over again.

“Still can’t believe they are trainees here.” Keenan says.

“Me too.”

“Mrs. Kwon is one damn good negotiator.”

“You can say that again. It’s like a person playing DnD and always rolls Nat 20 on persuasion.” Keenan laughs at your cheeky joke.

“Yeah… so, which one you gonna fuck first?”

“I- what?! Bro, shut up.” you punch his arm only for him to laugh even more.

“Come on, seriously bro. There are some hot chicks right here. If I were you, I would try every single one of them.”

“But I’m not you dumbass. I’m not some guy who will fuck every girl he sees.”

“Not yet.”

“Fuck off.” Keenan's laugh now turns hysterical. He’s always been like this. Being from Brooklyn makes him more frontal than your average Korean. He’s been teasing you since both of you met. With your ability in speaking English, you bonded easily with him. You also help him get accustomed with his homeland culture. But it seems you can’t take Brooklyn out of Keenan.

You take back your file from Keenan and walk off, “Ay! Where are you going?”

“Training is almost starting! I’m needed in the dance room!” you shout back at him.

“Okay then! Tell me if you score on one of them!” you don’t look back and flip him off. You can hear Keenan laugh fading as you walk further away from him.

The dance room for trainees is in the basement. Everything related to the trainees are in the basement. Only the ones who debut are the only ones who can experience the freedom of the city view from the artist dance room upstairs. For the trainees, the dark and damp basement is their prison. Some even will never see the day of light from the dungeon. Sound of blaring music can be heard at the end of the hallway. The girls may be stretching right now.

Other than being the main producer for the group, Mrs. Kwon also personally assigned you to be one of the dance instructors. Talk about a burden. It’s not the first time you are teaching a class. During trainee days, you already helped to train the fellow members of Shamrock and Phoenix. It’s just for a few sessions because Shamrock have a capable and experienced dance line and for Phoenix they are natural performers. Not the same can be said for this group. Maybe one or two names stood out, but they are nowhere near the talent as your fellow labelmates when they first join the company. And your part is to train them to be on par to standards.

Standing before the dance room door, you take a deep breath before twisting the door handle. The sound of your arrival alerts the girls. Quickly, they line up in a line with one of them scrambling to turn off the music before joining the line.

“Good morning PD-nim.” they greet you in unison.

“Good morning. At ease.” you say that, but they are clearly tense. Fifteen girls standing in front of you. You recognize their faces with a few unfamiliar ones. Some of these girls had a respectable career as idols. They are without a group due to them being in a project group making their contract length shorter than normal or suing their way out of their contract because of how stupid their company was. Some were in a group that disbanded. Others are trainees from different companies. Now, here they are starting from zero once more.

Knowing you have to keep professionalism, you close your eyes and take a deep breath. Starting today, you will have these girls' fate on strings. Toying with their dreams, giving them false hope. Just like Mrs. Kwon you thought. You open your eyes and give them a big smile.

This is when you notice Mrs. Kwon foul tricks, attacking your weakness: boobs. Most of these girls have sizeable to huge tits. You felt your cock twitch at the sight of the girls wearing tight sports bras, pushing their boobs together. One of them has a big enough bust, it outlines her baggy shirt.

“My name is Choi Sesang. For those who don’t know, I will be the main producer for this debut project as well as your dance instructor. Pleasure to finally meet you all.”

--------------------------

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. Like I said on the top, this was an idea that was collecting dust in my google docs. @twice-inamillion The Company series really got me thinking about this idea again.

I already have a few names for the girls: Chaehyun, Natty, Hyeju, and Xiaoting so far, with the first three already having a rough idea for it.

Recommendations for idol names are gladly accepted with the general prompt of the story would be helpful also.

I know I said a Pokémon story is on its way but that's on hold for now. I have struggles for the smut scene of that story. Wait a little more.

See you next time 😄

[sassenashsworld]

Preston at Quincy

(ah, euh.... eh...)

The List

Hollis seems a lot more nervous since he had that conversation with Clint, and Preston understands why. He now knows that their fate is decided. By dawn, the gunners will return, and if no additional company of minutemen arrives to reinforce theirs, all hope will be lost.

Mayor Jackson knows too. Preston feels it. However, Preston is determined to stick with it.

Don’t giving up.

The citizens of Quincy are counting on them.

But the sun never gets the chance to rise. In the cover of the night, Preston finally hears the first shot of the gunners being fired...

They’re coming.

Everyone, including the citizens, scrambles to their position. Preston and Sturges check the barricade; Sturges looks really grim.

“We won’t hold them off…”

Preston looks at the mechanic but swallows down his anxieties.

“Don't lose faith! As long as we are here to fight, there is hope!”

Sturges looks back at Preston with a frown, but he nods and bites his lips. Hollis comes their way.

“We have to—

The sound of the end of the world interrupts him. A massive blaze illuminates the night, followed shortly by a loud ramble.

“THEY HAVE BLEW OUT THE HIGHWAY SUPPORT! AIM AT THE ROAD! THEY WILL ATTACK FROM HIGH POSITIONS!”

Preston immediately understands the plan.

“They’re flanking us! We need to move our heavy weapons out on the road and aim for those positions on the high ground!”

Hollie turned to his subordinate.

“We don't have any heavy weapons here. Grab the roof of those apartments and bring the guys with you! With the others to the south, I'll attempt to cross the road and secure a prominent position.”

“Yes sir!”

Preston instructs the remaining Minutemen to swiftly follow him. They climb up, go to their positions, and prepare. Preston carefully examines his surroundings for what he can see in the darkness and notices that the Gunners have taken up positions atop ruined buildings and cars.

Closing up on them from everywhere.

An old woman makes it all the way up to their positions and looks around to find Preston. Another Minutemen tries to stop her.

“Madame! We are under attack! Return below, now!”

But the old lady shushes him and walks forth to Preston.

“YoU!” she exclaims, her voice filled with gloom. “SooN YoUR faith and OURS will mingle! Be rEAdy!”

The woman’s appearance surprises Preston. Preston gives her a worried glance. She looks like a witch.

He still nods. “I’m ready, ma’am.”

“BeeEe ReaDY!”

A couple makes its way in turn, seizing the old lady by her arms.

“Mama Murphy,” growls the woman. “Come back! We don't have time for your deliriums!”

“We hAve to bE rEady!” continues the old magpie.

The man seems nervous. “Come back inside. We have to reach the others in the church.”

“WeEee...”

“Shut you hole up, crazy witch!” warns the woman in turn. “I will not let Kyle be killed because you don't want to—

The gunners at the top of the highway suddenly pour a rain of bullets their way. Preston dives to push all those people behind the line of fire.

“Everyone gets down! Now!”

He immediately tries to cover as many people as possible, firing at the gunners' positions from his cover.

Immediately, three of the men under his command follow him, but the line of bullets cuts one in half as he retreats. Preston now realizes that maintaining this position would be suicide. He must lead all the people here under the roof into the apartment and try to find them a shelter.

Preston quickly grabs the arm of the last Minuteman that survived the storm of bullets and pushes him.

“Come on! Into the apartments! We must get into cover!”

They all attempt to follow his instructions, but the younger woman's owls nearly cover them.

“KYLE!”

The man with her and she forgot about the old lady now left to herself, diving into the apartment in the direction of the stairs. Immediately, the others rush into the apartments, while Preston covers their backs to ensure everyone enters safely. But when he turns around, he sees the old woman, still outside and still in danger of the gunners’ fire. He swallows his dry throat… What to do?

Without thinking too much about it, he takes the risk and jumps out of the building, heading straight towards the old woman.

“Get inside! I’ll cover you!”

He grabs the woman’s arm and tries to push her forward. Then he puts himself between the old woman and the gunner’s gunfire, making sure she gets into safety.

At this precise moment, his gaze catches Colonel Hollis's position on the roof across the street. The other Minutemen are nowhere to see, probably all killed, and the colonel is captured just before him. The sigh sent cold chills down Preston's spine. Preston now understands the likelihood of Quincy's demise. He is likely the only hope the survivors now have.

And it's really thin.

But for exactly this moment, he must bring the old lady inside. NOW!

Preston quickly grabs the old woman again and pushes her into the apartments. He closes the door behind them and leans against it, panting for air.

And his eyes meet Mayor John Jackson, who is standing right behind him.

The mayor’s eyes are filled with sadness and desperation after seeing the colonel falls. Preston nods to let the mayor know he saw it too.

“How many survivors are there?” he asks.

“The church was taken. All that's left is here!”

Preston glances at the stairs, where a crowd has assembled. Swiftly, he counted less than thirty. The cries of the wounded are frightening. Preston is aware of their limited chances, but perhaps he could guide them all out of Quincy.

Maybe...

Preston clenches his fists. He looks at the mayor with a firm gaze.

“We need to get everyone out of here. We must leave immediately, or else we will all face certain death.” He turns to the group of survivors. “Listen, we must go now! Everyone who can walk, stand up, now!”

Survivors stand; some try. The couple from earlier came back. The man is sobbing, holding a little boy who is bleeding in his arms. The woman seems ready to bite.

Preston’s heart sinks at the sight. This is a horrible situation.

He tries to keep himself composed so he can guide these people to safety.

“We can’t go out the front. The Gunners probably blocked the path.” He turns to Sturges. “You got another way out of here?”

The man seems tense and worried, and Preston understands very well, but he still manages to focus enough to answer.

“Follow me! There’s another door in the back!”

The mayor helps Preston, and the survivors gather. The strong help the weak, but as they evacuate the apartments, the young Minutemen realize that they are moving very slowly. The still-armed men advance with the line of the remaining Minutemen to form a defence for the most vulnerable following Sturges. The back door is in view. Sturges quickly opens it.

“Through the back! Into the alley!”

Preston swiftly directs the civilians out, ensuring that no one remains behind.

Once the last civilian has exited the building through the back door and into the alley, Preston looks in each direction down the alley. Although it's not an ideal location, Preston finds solace in the alley compared to their previous escape, as he hears the Gunners gaining control of the interior.

He lets out a heavy breath.

“We need to keep moving fast.”

They can already hear the heavy footsteps and chatter of the gunner approaching their way on the other side of the door.

“This way!” calls Sturges as they head down the alley.

Preston can see the city walls and the way that Sturges takes to leave it, but he now knows that even outside the walls they will not have to falter. As he turns to make sure his men—whatever left—hold on, Mayor Jackson moves forward.

“We’ll stay behind to hold them back. The survivors are too slow; you won’t make it if nothing stands in the way of the Gunners!”

“That’s the Minutemen job! Join the survivors!” protests Preston.

“No. Your role now is to protect the survivors and take them where they can find safety. We need you, Preston, to guide them. I can’t do that. You do. Don’t worry. I’d rather fall with my city anyway. I won’t be able to live for long knowing all those who died under my protection.”

The mayor's words resonate deep inside Preston's heart, but Preston knows he is right. He nods at the mayor.

“Understood. Just buy us as much time as you can.”

He turns towards the few remaining survivors, who look at him worried.

“They’ll buy us some time. We need to get out of here fast.”

“But where can we go?” inquires the man holding the child in his arms.

“What do we do now?!” asks another.

Preston takes a quick look at the city wall and the open wasteland behind it. He turns to the survivors who are looking at him.

“We keep going! We head towards the north, and we don’t stop until we’re out of danger!”

Some of the survivors still look afraid and worried.

“But how far will we be safe?”

“I... I don’t know.” Preston can’t offer them any more reassuring answers, but he does his best to keep them calm. “As far as needed! We can’t worry about that now. All we can do is keep moving and keep on being vigilant. There’s some chance of us surviving, and we have to take it without losing time. Now come on!”

Preston begins leading the small group out of the city walls and into the open.

He briefly turns his gaze back to Quincy as the sounds of gunfire and fighting reverberate from behind the city walls.

The night seems to be at its darkest; it seems far away the moment when the sun will rise, and Preston feels an overwhelming despair rising in him.

There, in this alarming darkness, before his eyes that cannot see them, now rest all that remained of valiant Minutemen, having made his childhood dreams bloom.

All dead...

He sighs and turns his back on this part of his life, along with all the other survivors of Quincy.

But he must hold. He knows that.

He must continue leading the group forward, north into the wasteland.

[thefirsthogokage]

The level at which Drew Barrymore is fucking up is INSANE

[Image ID: a pair of tweets from from Claire Willett (@clairwillett) from September 11th, 2023 that read:

I know Twitter is not a universal barometer but boy if I was Drew Barrymore’s PR folks I would be gravely concerned about the number of well-known actors on here basically saying “WE WILL NOT BE FORGETTING THIS”

they’ll be skipping your couch on the next press junket, ma’am

unclear if this is a bad-faith question or not but I’ll say that just within the last hour in my own twitter feed I have seen

Joshua Malina

Bradley Whitford

Evan Handler

Anson Mount

Lisa Ann Walter

Roxane Gay

/End ID]

The link in the tweet leads you to the tweet below.

[Image ID: Lisa Ann Walter QT'd (on September 11th, 2023) a tweet of hers from April 17th, 2023 that reads:

Hang out with me & my new sister @DrewBarrymore Tmw!

On @DrewBarrymoreTV

I love her.

And you can tell by my enthusiastic oversharing.

Featuring - the gross recipe me and my High School BFF slapped together.

The tweet includes three tweets with the two of them from Barrymore's show.

The QT reads:

Don’t know why this is going around again-but please note the date: Before both strikes.

I’m a unionist.

I’m proudly re-elected to #SagAftra National & LA Local board. I’m on the NegComm. I chair LA women’s committee and am on WAY too many others. I’m also WGA.

I Don’t X lines

/End ID]

Other tweets that she was talking about:

[Image ID: a tweet from Bradley Whitford on September 11th, 2023 that is a QT of Variety tweeting this article about Drew Barrymore owning the decision to come back and claiming she's not violating strike rules (yes she is because hers is a WGA contracted production). It reads:

Oh, you own it. For sure, @DrewBarrymore. And we’ll never forget it.

/End ID.]

I'm sorry, my anxiety is going up a bit with all of the messiness this post, so I'm not going to do the IDs anymore, and my phone is being mean. But here are others, starting with Evan Handler:

Anson Mount:

Before that he also retweeted Bradley Whitford's tweet, but I'm running out of room.

Roxane Gay:

And there was another one where she rt'd someone basically backhandedly slamming Drew Barrymore for being the host of this year's National Book Awards.

And then, saving the best for last, Joshua Malina has been going scorched earth on Barrymore and reminding people The View is also scabbing. Honestly love seeing it and highly recommend him as someone to follow. A lot of retweets of others as well as original tweets:

He's talking about a hat with the thing that let's custom text scroll. What the person he QT'd is referring to is his hat saying "Drew Barrymore is a Scab".

He actually started hounding her on Sunday, after it was announced very late in the day that she was coming back on Monday.

I love Josh Malina.

Fuck Drew Barrymore.

Also, fuck every celebrity who crosses the picket lines. (This includes Oprah (who also hasn't donated any or her billions to Maui and instead asked others to donate even though she also has a home there which she got through shady deals and wouldn't let anyone use it as a shelter in an emergency) and Brook Shield's who went today.)

(Also fuck other celebs who liked Drew's post about coming back including Lily Collins, Cara Delevingne, Jennifer Aniston, Kristen Bell, and Jennifer Garner and I'm honestly not surprised by the four of those, don't know enough about the first one.)

[zirawrites]

How do you think the fallout 4 companions would react to having traveled with sole for a few months and sole only referring to them as "pal, buddy, bro etc." and then finally braking down and telling them they can't for the life of them remember their name, but they were just too embarrassed to ask again

Cait: “It’s literally one syllable, Sole!” Cait’s face flushed when Sole just shrugged. “I’m your only companion with such a short name.” Then Sole reminded her of Danse and Nick, and Cait swung a punch that Sole barely dodged.

Codsworth: “The effects of cryostasis must still be affecting your long-term memory.” Codsworth rattled chipperly and blinked in the endearing way he always did when he wanted to mimic smiling. “Not to worry, sir/mum! I’m Codsworth; your faithful Mr. Handy from General Atomic’s finest!” He literally couldn’t fathom Sole actually not remembering him.

Curie: “I do not mean to offend, but I think I rather you have kept that to yourself.” Curie shook her head in pity. “That is embarrassing, Sole. I hope you feel very awkward right now.” Even though Curie was only partly-teasing, she still insisted Sole take extra vitamins to keep up their mental fortitude.

Danse: “I call you soldier out of respect,” Danse said, his mouth stretched in a long frown. “You do it because you don’t know what else to call me. How long were you going to keep up the charade?” Sole admitted they hoped until another Brotherhood soldier said his name, but everyone just seemed to call him Paladin.

Deacon: “If it makes you feel better, Deacon isn’t actually my real name. I tell raw recruits my codename is to safeguard my identity, but really it’s because my real name is... embarrassing.” Deacon’s blush seemed genuine, and he scratched the back of his neck until Sole finally asked what his name was. “Funnily enough, I’m Sole, too!” He giggled like a kid until Sole gave him a playful shove.

Hancock: “I don’t remember my name half the time anyways.” Hancock seemed completely unbothered by this revelation. It was nearly impossible to offend him. “You can start calling me Hancock, or The Best Damn Mayor in the Commonwealth.” Then Hancock tried to pronounce the last nickname as an acronym, and both of them laughed it off.

MacCready: “You’re kidding.” MacCready searched Sole’s face for hints of a prank. When it was evident Sole was telling the truth, his ears burned red. “We’ve been traveling together for, like, months! You don’t even know the name of the merc you hired? Next time we’re in Sanctuary I’m having Curie look at your head.”

Preston: “Oh, um. I’m Preston.” Preston absolutely internalized this as being so forgettable that Sole couldn’t even remember the first human they came into contact with after leaving the vault. Ouch.

Piper: “Need me to come up with a color for myself? It seems to be the only rudimentary thing you can remember, Blue.” Piper then only referred to herself as Red, which only made Sole feel worse.

Nick: “Sole, you come by my office almost every day.” Nick rubbed his face in sheer defeat. “Did the sign out front never jog your memory?” Sole admitted they thought Nick was just a hopeless romantic, and Nick threw a wad of paper at their head.

X6-88: “It has a lot of numbers. I completely understand, sir/ma’am.” X6 wasn’t offended. In truth, he literally did not care.

[dogphoric]

going through the worst wave of dysphoria that i’ve probably ever felt and i need to tell someone about it even if that someone is just the void. so i made this blog for now

this dysphoria has been causing me unexplainable distress. it feels like it came from nowhere, all at once. it has overwhelmed me and i wasn’t ready for it. i don’t like the mirror right now. i don’t really want to do anything except lay under my blankets. i can’t focus and everything feels so slow. i think about it when i’m driving, when i’m sitting somewhere, constantly.

i think it started at a new job i’ve had in the last few months. it’s not the job at all, i love it. but i interact with a lot of people, and all of those people look at me and see a girl. they say ma’am so cheerfully. i move on, and i thought it wasn’t bothering me much until now. as if i’m having a delayed reaction. i don’t want to be a ma’am.

i don’t like being a person right now. i feel like i’m a person in a way that i don’t want to be. the person that i think i am and that i see myself as, is not the same one that other people see. i can’t stand the difference right now.

my hair is too long. my voice is too high. i’m too anxious. i don’t wear the right clothes. i wonder if my glasses are the right frames. i want to fix all of this by going to sleep and when i wake up, it’ll have happened like magic. but it takes more effort and time than that

i could have started testosterone years ago. i was talking to a doctor about it, one that i was referred to. we did bloodwork and everything. but i stopped making appointments, because i got scared. what if i lose my hair? how will my voice change? what about the awkward phase? how will people react? things would be so different. i wasn’t ready, and i regret that now. i wish i would’ve had more faith in it

i don’t know if i expect anyone to see this, or respond to it. i don’t think i’m really looking for advice, i know what i need to figure out, i just need to go through it. i just wanted to put words in a place that i can see them, because maybe someone, even myself, reading my thoughts will help me understand. maybe it’ll make it easier to think again

i hope things change soon. i want to be seen for what i am - a guy, a man. i don’t know how to get the results as well as i’d like. and i’m still scared. but i want 2025 to be the year that things go better, now that it’s hit me like this

[nkirukaj]

Deerly Beloved (13)

Pairing: Alastor x Fem! OC

Warnings: Swearing;

Genre: Fluff/Angst (& Humor!)

Word Count: 2.6K

13. Baby Bat Attack

Voe looks between them. May not noticing the grown man staring at her as he has not said a word. She walks up to him, and he finally turns his gaze to meet her face, still shocked as ever

“There is a lot we need to talk about, Alastor, like all the things that took place while I was gone,” she whispers to her husband “Of course, there’s also her,” Voe gestures over to the older woman, then turns to her and clears her throat “May, this is my husband…Alastor,”

“Alastor?” She cocked her head “That’s my son’s name,” 

Alastor’s grin turned strained “You don’t remember me?”

May squints “I’m sorry, have we met?”

Alastor’s grin falls slightly but comes back up twice as wide. He vigorously shakes his head. “I apologize. I may have mistaken you for someone else.“ He grabs his wife’s arm. “May I speak to you, my dear?”

“Of course, Alastor,”

He pulls her to the side and begins to whisper, “Vera…” he rubs his forehead. 

“Yes,” she stares at him with blank eyes

“Please tell me that isn’t who I think it is,”

Voe pauses for a moment to think of what to say next “…Who do you think it is?”

Alastor furrows his brows, his smile still in place “Why would you bring her here?”

Voe doesn’t know what to say “I don’t know, I just thought you would want to see her!”

“She doesn’t even remember me! And even if she did, she’d see me down here and wonder why, and then I’d have to explain why. To tell her all the things I’ve done. I want her to remember me as her little boy, not the monster I’ve become.”

“Well, I’m sorry! I didn’t think about that!”

“I know you didn’t! You always act without thinking!” He turns around, steaming

“Excuse me for thinking of you!” she whispers back “All the times that you talked about wanting to see her again! So I bring her here on a silver platter, and you are angry with me about that, too! So I’m just a big dummy doing everything wrong, huh?”

“I-ugh,” he groans, rubbing his eyes with his fingers

“Is everything all right?” May interjects, reminding them both that she is still there

Voe shakes her head “Peachy May,”

“I hope my being here hasn’t caused any issues,”

The doe shakes her head once more. “No, of course not,”

Alastor continues to stare at his mother, transfixed by her presence and unable to move as well

“Can I help you, young man?” she raises her eyebrows “I’ll have you know that I’m a married woman,”

Alastor scrunches his brows in confusion and shakes his head “Of course, ma’am,”

“Miss Vera, I cannot believe that you were going gaga over my son when you had a husband down here this entire time!”

Voe blushes and Alastor looks down at her with his eyebrow raised. She chooses not to look at him, knowing that this would inflate his ego. “Well, May it was special circumstance-“

May shakes her head “You have a husband, you need to be fawning over him!”

“May I love my husband,” Voe was running out of things to say without just admitting to the older woman that her son became Voe’s husband

“And you should, I know I wasn’t the most perfect wife to my husband, but I was the most faithful. And I’m not saying you need to be exactly like me, but you need to be faithful to your husband, it says so in the Bible,”

Voe snickers 

“What is so funny?”

“No offense May, but men also sold their wives and daughters for sex in the Bible. It also says you can’t braid or cut your hair. So excuse me if I don’t use it to govern my choices,”

“Okay, but I’m still a married woman,”

Voe and Alastor stare at each other “Touché?” She says

Daphne enters the room from upstairs and is surprised to see the man standing with her daughter “Oh who’s this?” she asks

“Apparently, this is your daughter’s husband,”

“Oh, this is him?” she opens her eyes wider than usual and pulls her daughter by the arm and whispers, “He’s scary. I think your dad would probably hate him,”

“Dad hated every guy that was into me,”

She smiles “Yeah, remember when you brought Tommy to Thanksgiving in the eighth grade?” she laughs

Alastor chuckles and interjects “This must be your lovely mother that I’ve heard nothing about,”

“I’ve talked about her before,” Voe puts her hands on her hips

Daphne cautiously approaches the buck “Hello, I’m Daphne and you are..?”

“Alastor,” he grins “Pleasure to be meeting you. Quite a pleasure,” he sticks his hand out for her to shake

Daphne puts her hand inside Alastor’s hand “Very big hands,”

“That’s not the only thing,” Voe jokes while everyone stares at her. “Sorry, was that inappropriate?”

“So, how did you and my daughter meet?”

“That’s a long story, mom,”

Alastor answers anyway, “Well, when she dropped down, I guess you could say she fell into my arms, ha ha!”

“I don’t get it….but that’s nice!” Daphne smiles

“I’m sure it was more romantic than that,” May offers

Voe shakes her head “Not really, kind of just bumped into him,” 

“Then she was sent to destroy me for one of my enemies, ha ha!”

“You’re still on that?!”

“It will never go away my dear,”

“Ugh I’m not doing this,” Voe starts up the stairs away from her husband 

“You never want to do anything,” he comments while looking at his nails

There’s an awkward silence in the parlor after Voe leaves when Daphne pipes up

“So…do you ever stop smiling?”

Voe stands in the bedroom awkwardly; they have finally placed her baed back in there, moving the placement of the little caged cots. 

“Hi again,” she waves to the children who turn their heads away “Sorry for making you cry earlier. But I’m your Momma I swear,” 

Aly and Vernie whisper to each other before Aly turns to Voe and speaks 

“You not Momma cuz Daddy say Momma pretty,”

Voe is taken aback “I am pretty,”

Aly shakes her head “Nope,”

Voe folds her arms together “Well, newsflash sweetie, if I’m ugly, that means you are too because you look just like me!”

“No! I pretty!”

Vernie puts his hand on her shoulder “Stop,” he whines he turns and waves to Voe “Hi lady,”

“Hi baby,” she approaches the cot with open arms and Vernie scorches backward

“He not baby, he Vernie!” Aly chimes in “And you lady,”

“Yes I am a lady, but I’m also Momma,”

Aly pouts and shakes her head while Vernie falls on his butt

“You want uppies?” Voe asks Vernie who stares back at her

“No!” Aly answers for him

“I wasn’t asking you,”

“I don’t care,”

She turns her gaze back to Vernie who is just staring back at her with the widest of eyes and the blankest of stares.

“You okay, sweetie?” she asks him

He makes a noise that isn’t quite words

“You guys really don’t remember me huh?”

“Leave us lone,”

Voe scrunches her nose and blinks a few times before leaving the room and running into her husband once more. She grabs his coat and he turns around with black eyes for a moment

“You never showed them what I look like?” is the first thing she asked

Alastor removes her hand from his coat and dusts off his sleeve “I did show them, actually, but you didn’t do your part of looking the same!”

“Alastor, tell me something,”

“What Vera?”

“Am I pretty?”

Alastor rolls his eyes “I’m not playing this game with you Vera,”

She squints at him “What game? What are you even talking about?”

“I don’t have time for this Vera,”

“You’re my husband, and you can’t just say ‘Yes, you’re pretty’ to the woman you married??”

“You know that asking questions like that is just to get us the start fighting,”

Voe scrunches her eyebrows “So you don’t think I’m pretty then,”

He rolls his eyes again “I’m not doing this with you,” he shadows away like a coward

“You’d think that he would find the woman that he married and impregnated attractive, but no, that’s just too hard to say. If someone asked me if I thought they were pretty, I would just tell them, why is that such a difficult task?” She asks

Lucifer leans on his cane “You know…I could’ve gotten you pregnant without all the difficulty,” Voe looks up at him and then tilts her head to think about it. “And if you think about it, I technically did get you pregnant.”

“Huh,” she’d never thought of it like that before “It’s like my kids have two daddies,” she laughs with Lucifer.

“NO, THEY DO NOT!” Alastor appeared from up the staircase and shadowed his way down to the two of them. “They do not!”

Voe rolled her eyes and sighed “It was just a joke,” she turned to him “And besides, it’s kinda true considering that-“

“He takes care of them better than me? Is that what you were going to say?” 

She seems bewildered “No? I was just going to say that both your blood and his blood are in the children. So he’s technically their dad,” 

“So you want to run away with Lucifer then hmm? Why not, clearly you don’t want to be here with me,”

Voe stands and looks at him like he was on crack “What the fuck are you even talking about?”

“Why not run away with me?” Lucifer winks

“Quiet you,” she says to the king. She turns back to Alastor. “What is with you? Every time I say something, you get mad at me! I didn't even do anything. What is your problem?”

“I don’t have a problem, it is you with the problem Voe,”

She stays quiet for a moment “Voe?”

“Is that not your name?”

“You never call me Voe,”

“I smell tension,” Lucifer comments and Voe waves him off

“Are we…okay?” she asks her husband

He raises an eyebrow “Are we?” he asks before shadowing away once more

Voe stomps in frustration “Why does he always shadow away?!” she huffs “And don’t say a thing!” She turns to Lucifer

Voe sat on the new bed in her room and stared at the empty cots, thinking of her children and how they didn’t even know that they were her children. They just thought of her as some lady who kept bothering them. She was at a loss; her kids didn’t know her, and her husband was angry with her for some reason. She was so lost in thought that she didn’t hear when her mother entered the room. Daphne knocked on the doorframe.

“How you holding up?”

Voe flinches “Oh shit, warn a girl damn,”

“Alright,” she sits on the bed next to her daughter

Voe hangs her head “I’m okay, I guess. It sucks right now, but I guess I’ll get through it.”

“That’s my girl, stay strong,”

Voe purses her lips and does not respond; there’s a moment of awkward silence between them. Voe looks up at her mother and begins to stare. Daphne smiles back at her daughter.

“What?”

“I have a question,”

Daphne sits up “What’s up?”

“Have you ever thought that you have autism?”

“What no! Why?”

“Well, ‘cuz I have autism and it doesn’t just come out of nowhere…”

“What? Why would you say that?”

Voe shrugs “I don’t know the way that you act,”

“And how do I act, Vera?” Daphne asks, sounding incredibly offended 

“I don’t know you say awkward things a lot, and you don’t know how to act around certain people, I just thought-“

“Thought what Vera?” she furrows her brows

“Are you upset?”

“My daughter is accusing me of being something that I’m not, so yeah I’m upset!”

Voe’s face is filled with confusion “I’m not accusing you of anything, I just asked you a question!”

“An offensive question!”

“How is it offensive?”

“Because I’m not autistic,”

Voe sits up straighter “What’s wrong with being autistic?”

“Nothing, Vera,” she rolled her eyes “It’s not about you. Don’t make it about you like you always do. I don’t wanna play these games with you,”

Voe shoots up “Why is everyone talking about playing games?? I’m speaking quite literally!”

Daphne stands as well “Vera, please, that’s enough,” she turns to exit the room

“Yeah, that’s what Dad tried to tell you when you wouldn’t stop drinking,”

Daphne turns and claps sarcastically “There it is. Vera Bates always has to insult someone. So proud to have a daughter like you,” she leaves the room

Voe falls back down onto the bed and covers her face with her hands. She didn’t enjoy hurting people anymore; it brought her no satisfaction, so why did she keep doing it? It was quite a mystery.

“Angel!” Voe flops down on the couch

He looks down as she faces plants into his fluff “What?!”

“They all hate me!” Voe leaned into Angel.

“Who?!” he asked, ready to fill someone with lead.

“Everyone!”

“Whatcha mean, everyone? I don’t! I’m layin’ all up under ya!” He said, sounding offended.

Voe sighed, looking up at her friend, “Angel…you’re not my husband.”

       “That’s what you need? What, you need me ta slap ya ass a few times?” Angel hit the doe’s butt. She giggles into the fluff, and he smiles at the sound of her laughter “Look how it jiggles,” he says, slapping her ass another time, making her laugh some more.

Voe laughed, “I can’t fuck you, Angel.”

        “Hey! I’ve fucked tons of bitch- women on set, they ain’t half bad, especially gay women.”

Voe laughed some more 

“I’m just sayin’! I could be ya, man, and I’d do it better than Smiles!”

Voe lifts her head “I will admit, I’ve wondered what it would be like to be fucked by the Angel Dust,”

He smirks “It would make you forget about Heaven,” he grins evilly

“Oh really?” she raises her brow as Angel strokes her chin “Oh my goodness what am I doing, you’re gay,”

“And?”

“And I have a husband!”

“Your loss!”

Voe leaves the hotel to walk around and think about her husband and kids, and now her mother. Did she even deserve them? She didn’t even know what she had done to Alastor, and it seemed he was the most angry with her. She kept inadvertently hurting those around her, the ones she cared about the most- What was that noise? As she paced, Voe heard quite a loud chirp-like sound that sounded all-encompassing. She spun in circles multiple times, looking for the sound, but found nothing. It was when she looked up that she saw a small figure on the top of the Hotel roof. She squints to try and see what is proper when the figure falls from leaning too far off the ledge. Her mother instincts kicked in, and she dashed upward to meet the falling creature halfway. Her heavy wings were hard to control, but she could manage enough to catch the little creature. When they reached the ground, she found that it was a small bat. Almost like a baby. He chirped some more in her arms and smiled when she stroked his head. She hadn’t seen any other bat demons around, and there was no mother in sight for him. Voe held him, cradling him in her arms, and found a little collar around his neck.

“Juno,” she read off the collar, and the little bat smiled widely “I guess that’s your name,”

He climbed up onto her back, holding on by her neck as she smiled at him and walked back into the building.

Baby Bat Juno belongs to @starlightsacrifice !

[twola]

Devil's Backbone: Limpany V

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x FemOC/Reader POV Tags: Longfic, Slow Burn, Smut (18+), Violence, Canon-Typical Injuries

Limpany’s burning was a lot more than meets the eye. Deception, greed, and murder follow everyone touched by Leviticus Cornwall. A story where the Van der Linde gang gets even more inescapably involved in Cornwall’s dealings, with the survivor of the massacre at the heart of it all. Slow burn. Pre-Blackwater and beyond.

Limpany V : A Proposition, Of Sorts

Scared and alone, Ruth tries to forge a path forward. Where that path goes, however, is anyone’s guess.

cw: violence. very surprising, right?

➵ AO3 Link ➵ Fic Masterlist ➵ Previous | ➵ Next

“It was fortuitous that we should ride by you, Miss Ruth. God be good, He was watching out for you.”

The wagon bounced against the rough dirt trail. The two old draft horses lumbered on as the wooden wheels groaned and creaked under pressure and weight.

Small hands weave through your hair, trying to tame the wild kinks and waves that have gone days without any care. Another hand softly touches your shoulder. You look up to find the mother of this family giving you a reassuring smile. She whispers softly to her young daughter, who is attempting to braid your hair as you sit on the floorboards of the wagon. As much as you try, you cannot return the smile, only nodding with downcast eyes. 

You pull your knees to your chest, making yourself small within the covered wagon. 

“Miss,” the woman, maybe ten years older than you, pipes up, softly rubbing your shoulder again, “Are you sure we can’t take you any further than Blackwater? We’re heading north after stopping there.”

“No,” your voice is small, as you look up at the woman sitting atop a trunk, “Thank you, I know folks in Blackwater. You and your husband are good, kind people, ma’am.”

She smiles, squeezing your shoulder. “The word instructs us to be generous to those less fortunate. It is the least we can do.”

“Praise be.” A masculine voice interjects from the head of the wagon. The father of this family was a strict, solemn man, long-bearded, and had not once smiled in the hours you have been riding in their wagon.

This family came upon you stumbling, dirty, and exhausted along the side of the road where the foothills gave way to open prairie. Your cheeks were sunburnt and hair windswept, red-rimmed eyes made you a pitiful sight for this family, passing by in a wagon in the noontime sun. A Mormon family, traveling east from the valleys beyond Gaptooth Ridge.

It had been two days since you fled the cabin along the ridges of the Lower Montana. You’ve barely slept, barely eaten, hiding in the woodlands, afraid of being caught by the men who so kindly escorted you away from the old cabin. You had no idea where you were going, trails crisscrossing the woods and foothills, just knowing that Blackwater was east. 

“Miss?” 

You look up, craning your head to the side to acknowledge the small voice addressing you. The daughter, probably no older than twelve, hands you a small mirror. You take it and look at her handiwork. Your blonde hair, dirty and unkempt, was tamed into two braids that trailed down your shoulders.

“T-thank you, miss.” You croak out, bringing a bright smile to the girl’s face. Handing the mirror back, you try to smile back, but are unsure if you are convincing in any way.

“Take some rest, Miss Ruth,” the mother places a hand on your shoulder, handing you a shawl, “Still several hours til we reach Blackwater.”

You nod your thanks, taking the shawl. Leaning back against a crate, you close your eyes, praying to God that you will wake up and this will all be a terrible nightmare.

—

“The Lord tests those he favors, Miss. Believe that He will reward you if you keep the faith.”

You swallow, nodding to the stern man atop the wagon bench. “Thank you, sir. You and your family have been very kind.”

The man’s wife, who had climbed out of the wagon bed, walks up to you, the brown checkered shawl you had wrapped around you earlier in her hands. She offers it to you with a smile. “Please, take this.”

“Oh, I couldn’t-”

“Nonsense,” she presses the shawl into your hands, and you close your eyes before slowly reopening them.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

She nods back to you, “May the Lord grant you comfort in your time of need.”

You say your goodbyes, waving at the young daughter in the back of the wagon as the father snaps the reins, jolting it forward. As the wagon lumbers noisily away, you pull the shawl around your shoulders, sighing. You turn, wringing your hands, and start to walk down the road, into the heart of Blackwater. Past the construction of new buildings, the post office, shops, and saloons. Past men and women mulling about, a newspaper boy cries out about the election of a new Senator in Lemoyne. Dust blows down the street, a cloud you shield yourself from with a raised hand over your eyes. It hasn’t rained in god knows how long. Ducking behind a slow-moving wagon, you glance up at the street sign, confirming that you were heading in the right direction.  

Minutes later, you find yourself standing in front of a door you knew too well. You had memorized the way the sign’s paint was peeling in the corner, how the paned window needed cleaning in the upper corner. How the bell chimed when the door opened.

Silas Smith, M.D., Physician

The doorknob seems to mock you, your hand wavering inches from it.  You swallow, your stomach at your feet. Here you were, dirty and disheveled, with nothing, relying on the kindness of strangers. The first day after you left the Lower Montana, you swore you were going to die on the road to Blackwater. Maybe it was divine providence that brought you that family’s wagon - for even though you had never been a believer, you probably would have died of thirst on the open prairie if it were not for them.

Your fingers wrap around the brass, the metal warmed from the afternoon sun. You sigh, close your eyes, and take a deep breath before twisting it and pushing open the door. The bells chime, just as you remember. You close it behind you, as you hear footsteps coming from the hallway. “One minute!”

You smooth down your black skirt, trying to look presentable, but your white blouse underneath your leather vest is irredeemably dirty, the brown dust of the prairie staining the fabric. You run your hands over the braids in your hair, which, fortunately, were still orderly. One part of you that at least looked put together.

“How can I… Oh!” The doctor walks up, losing his train of thought as recognition sweeps over his face, “Missus Shaw, it’s good to see you.”

He takes his spectacles from where they hang on his collar, placing them on his face. He blinks as his eyes adjust, then sees the state of your clothing.

“What happened? Are you alright?”

Your eyes water over. The dam that had been holding back the all-encompassing weight of your reality burst as your shoulders shudder and the room is filled with your gasping sobs.

“F-Frederick…H-he’s…. he’s dead,” you hiccup, utterly and completely unable to control the deluge of tears from your eyes. “K-killed…”

“Rosalia!” The man calls back down the hallway, before leaning over your shaking form. He places a hand on your shoulder, extending the other down to you, “Oh, Ruth, alright, come here, let’s get you in here.”

You take his hand and let him walk you in from the foyer, but feel your face crumble again with a shuddering sob.  Rosalia dashes down the hallway, a bewildered look on her face for a second before she moves quickly to your side, quickly throwing an arm across your back, and pulling you into her embrace. 

“Missus Ruth.” She whispers, and that is all it takes for you to curl into her and openly weep into her shoulder.  Rosalia rubs her hand across your upper back in comforting circles. She looks up to her husband, with a questioning look, and over your heaving breath, you can hear him quietly tell her what you did.

“Mister Shaw was killed.”

You look up at Rosalia and move your glance between her and her husband. “I- I have nothing, I have no p-place to go, I didn’t… I didn’t  k-know what else to…” you trail off, closing your eyes tightly against welling tears.

“Oh, no, claro. Missus Ruth, you can stay with us.” Rosalia offers quickly, pulling back you into an embrace. “Come, I was just starting dinner . ”

“I-I’m sorry, I know I’m imposing…”

“Nonsense.” Doctor Smith pipes up, rolling back the sleeves of his shirt, “I’ll take out the spare cot. It may not be the most comfortable accommodation, but we have room in the storeroom for you to stay in. We’re leaving for Mexico at the end of the week, but please, stay to get back on your feet.” He nods and moves past you and his wife, down the hallway of the office.

Rosalia rubs your back with one hand and hands you a handkerchief with the other. “Missus Ruth, come, let me get you fed. I take you to get new clothes in the morning and these washed.”

They usher you further into the building, past the examination room that you had been in far too much over the past several months. Upstairs, in their living quarters, you’re fed, you’re examined by the doctor, you’re given copious amounts of water for dehydration. Doctor Smith and Rosalia quietly move around you, as you find yourself slipping into the withdrawn quietness you recognize from the other day, the heaviness, the slowness, the darkness weighing on your shoulders.

As night sets in, Rosalia leads you to a small storeroom back downstairs, where Doctor Smith has set out a cot. She brings a blanket, a pitcher of water, and a bowl for you to wash your face.

“Tomorrow we will go out and get you what you need.” She had said before giving a sad smile, closing the door behind her.

You sit on the cot, surveying the storeroom. The candlelight flickered against crates and boxes, casting shadows in the small room. You unbutton your vest, sliding it tiredly down your shoulders. Folding it and placing it atop a box at the foot of the cot, you sigh as you pull your boots off, setting them on the floor. You divest of your dirty blouse and skirts, bared down to your chemise. Tossing the skirt upon the pile of clothing, you stop as you hear something clink onto the wooden floor. Grabbing the candle, you wave it along the floorboards to attempt to find what fell. You see a glint shine against the light briefly and get down on your knees to run your hand across the floorboard where you saw it.

Your fingers find purchase on something metallic, as you close your fingers around the object. Turning your palm around, you open it next to the candle. Your eyes immediately begin to water over. In the center of your palm is the gold circle of your wedding ring. It must have been in the pocket of your petticoat. Your fingers slowly close around the ring as you pull yourself off the floor to sit on the cot. You put the candle down on the crate next to you and leaned over to blow it out. With your free hand, you grope for the blanket on the end of the cot that the doctor left. You find it and pull it toward you, spreading it over the cot.

Curling into a fetal position under the blanket, you begin to sob quietly in the darkness, clutching your wedding ring tightly into your chest.

-

“Go ahead and pick one.”

“Rosalia… I don’t-, I don’t want a handout.” You whine back at her, but she cuts you off with a wave of her hand. 

“No, no, no arguing. Missus Ruth, you’re getting a dress. Go and pick.”

You sigh and follow the stout woman into the tailor’s shop, scolded. You squirm slightly as the clerk looks up and greets you, eyeing your dirty blouse sleeves. You had been able to beat the dust out of your black skirt and wipe down your leather vest to look somewhat presentable, but the cream color of your blouse was tinged a red yellow from being out on the prairie. Instead of having the blouse cleaned, you were just going to get rid of it. There was no salvaging it at this point.

After much prodding, you select a grey woolen dress and another black skirt. Rosalia orders two more blouses over your objections. The clerk takes the order and cash from your benefactor, stating that the clothes can be picked up the day after tomorrow.

“Thank you, really, you didn’t have to do that.” You say meekly as you exit the shop, holding the door open for Rosalia.

She sighs, “Señora. If you feel so strong about this, how about you help me in my husband’s office until we leave. We will pay you.”

Considering there weren’t enough hours in the day for you to work and earn enough to repay what Rosalia and Silas have already given you, you agree heartily as you walk with her across the street. After another stop in the general store for provisions, you and Rosalia return to the office.

Doctor Smith is rearranging dark bottles of different liquids on the shelves when you return.  Rosalia takes her items upstairs to the living quarters, leaving you with the Doctor.

“I see you survived a shopping trip with her, get anything good?” He laughs, turning back to the shelving.

“Rosalia bought me a few items of clothing… thank you, Doctor Smith.” You say sheepishly, feeling awkward to be so dependent on the kindness of others.

“Oh, good. We want you to be comfortable. Do you have an idea what you’re going to do?”

You blink, of course, you knew this was temporary. They said as much last night. They are about to leave for Mexico, and you can’t think to outstay their kindness forever. You run a hand over your forehead and think back to this morning, as you and Rosalia began your day with a walk along Sisika Avenue, along the wharf and the shores of Flat Iron Lake. You recall eyeing the docks, Lemoyne Eastern Riverboat Company, thinking of times long ago, and days gone by.

You shake yourself out of your thoughts,  “I… I think I’m going to go back to Saint Denis. I lived there several years ago.” 

“Let me get the ferry ticket, at the very least.” Doctor Smith says, taking your hands in his.

“You’ve already given me so much, I can’t take more from you.”

“Missus Shaw.” He says, in a scolding tone.

“Doctor Smith.” You parrot back, exasperated.

Rosalia butts in, “Miss Ruth, she is going to help out for the week before we leave. I told her we will pay her for it.”

Smith nods, a smile on his face. “That sounds like an agreement we can work with, right, Ruth?”

Seeing that they are a united front, you give in. “Sure, Doctor Smith.”

-

Days pass. Rosalia teaches you how to wrap a splint on the arm of a boy who fell off his father’s wagon onto a flat river stone in the Dakota. You cringe as Doctor Smith sets the bone, and your heart aches when the boy cries, but his arm was saved.

Doctor Smith shows you how he stitches a wound shut on the forearm of a workman that sliced it open on a timber axe; working on building a warehouse near the wharf. Stitching skin is not all that different from the sewing of fabric that you’ve done all your life, once you get over the squeamishness.

Patients filter through the office over the week. A woman suffering a malady of the stomach, an old man with a lingering cough, a child running a fever. You watch the doctor dispense remedies and cures, tonics and medicinal herbs. 

At the end of the week, the doctor hands you a leather satchel to pack your few clothes in, and an envelope with more money than you knew you earned, but the doctor could not be dissuaded. You helped them pack their wagon, and on the day they are to leave, you help to tidy up the office, and pack yourself up. After Doctor Smith locks the door to the office, you tearfully say goodbye to Rosalia and wave as their wagon clambered down the street and out of view, heading west. 

You instead look east, toward the wharf. The ferry to Saint Denis was to leave at dusk. You had enough time for a meal before boarding. You look down the street, to the Blackwater Saloon, and decide you have enough money to at least have a quick bite to eat. Adjusting your shawl over your grey dress, you pull on the strap of your satchel as you push through the glass doors of the saloon. It's busy, hazy with cigar smoke and the smell of whiskey wafts through the air, sure to have been spilled on the floorboards, permeating them.

You move to the bar, order a bowl of stew from the bartender, and sit at a small table on the side of the room, hoping to remain unseen amongst the patrons of the bar. Unfortunately, as tucked away as you were, a mustachioed man at the bar caught your gaze before your eyes darted away. He smirked, leaning against the bar, downing the shot of whiskey in front of him, and turning toward you. His dark hair was shorn short against his head, and you could see in the way he swayed as he pushed himself off the bartop, that he had been a patron for most of the day.

“Pretty Miss, what are you doing all alone at the bar? D’ya need a big strong man to protect ya?”

“I’m fine, thank you, I was just leaving.” You spit back, drawing away from the man, whose stench of whiskey was close to nauseating. You push away from your seat, leaving the stew half eaten, losing your appetite. You grit your teeth and turn away from the table and the man that had sidled up to you. You eye the door, taking a step toward it.

“Hey, c’mon now, Miss, Miss!”

The man - the drunk - caught your arm and yanked you to the side, leaving you stumbling. You regain your footing, turning to face the man, who leers at you, still holding on to your forearm.

“Sir, let go of me.” You say icily, trying to pull your arm back.

“Now, you’re breaking my heart, darlin’.” He responds, not letting go. 

“Let go of me.” You spit, swinging at the man with your open palm. You make purchase with his face, and his head swings to the side. Unfortunately, his grip on your forearm only gets stronger. The mustachioed man turns back to you with rage in his eyes and grabs you by the shoulder, and you crumble, gasping as your old wounds flare in pain. 

The saloon is crowded, noisy. No one notices a man drag a woman out the side door and into the alley between two buildings. 

“That wasn’t very nice, lady. I should treat you nice in return.”

“Leave me alone!” You screech, trying to scratch at the man. He has wisened up since the last blow you were able to catch him on, however. He pushes you back against the brick wall of the saloon and the wind is knocked out of you. His hands clamp on your shoulders like vices, and you wince.

“Pretty little thing, maybe I should take you home and make you mine.” 

He leans in, with terrible whiskey breath, and you turn away, closing your eyes tightly and gritting your teeth.

“Now, I reckon it’s been a while for someone as old as me, but my friend and I think this lady doesn’t want anything to do with you.”

Both of your heads turn toward the voice coming from the end of the alley. A figure stands between the brick walls, his face shadowed against the light emanating from the open street behind him. 

“Piss off!” The drunk yells, turning back to you and moving one of his hands from your shoulder to your waist, as you push back against him, he shoves you against the brick again, and you bang your head on the hard wall, hissing in pain.

“You should leave her alone, good sir.” 

“I said piss off!” He rolls his eyes, turning his head back toward the interloper. He barely had time to look before a large form barrels into him. You’re unhanded, sliding down the wall as you gasp. The two stumble further down the alley until they crash into a box of crates, the wood breaking and splintering under the weight of the two men.

“Miss?”

You’re surprised, looking in the other direction, toward the street. An older man, the one you realize was the one speaking, moves closer to you, extending his hand down. You take it, allowing him to pull you up. “You alright? That ruffian do anything to you?”

Great, more people involving themselves in this mess. At this point, you just want to board the damn ferry, and get out of this stupid town and stupid state. More wood splinters at the end of the alley and you grimace. 

“We’ll take care of that man, miss.”

“Please don’t, sir, I don’t want anyone getting hurt.” You plead, hands on his forearm.

He laughs in return. “Sweet girl, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. My friend over here, he can handle himself.”

At that, the older man leans backward, looking down the alley. He nods to you, and you lean to look past him, and he places a hand on your upper back to steady you.

Oh.

He was right. Very right. The drunk who had been manhandling you was getting the daylight beat out of him in the alley. The other man whaled on your harasser, his limp form crumbling to the ground in the pile of broken wooden crates. 

You look back, eyes raised, at the man next to you. He smiles, turning you away from the brawl and walking you to the street. “Come here, ma’am. Didn’t seem like you were takin’ a liking to that gentleman. ”

“No.. no… t-thank you.” You mutter, still trying to calm your nerves.

He takes off his black hat, studded with a brown leather band, with one hand, gallantly placing it over his waistcoat.  He had a shock of greying hair, clean shaven, lean. Put together, you note, unlike the drunken man who approached you earlier.

You also note the gun belt at his hips, a bone-handled revolver fastened into a holster.

“Seems like this here man isn’t going to bother you anymore.” He nods back to the alley, where the brawl seems to have ended, decisively. The other man, the compatriot of the one in front of you, walks up the alley, shaking his hand a bit before clenching his fist again. You notice blood on his knuckles. He’s a large, looming figure, pacing out into the sunlight. No wonder the drunk lost, looking at the size of this man. He scowls, looking back at the alley again before wiping his knuckles against his black pants. He adjusts his worn leather hat on his head, running his hand down his bearded face. He, too, wears a gun belt slung around his hips, revolver gleaming in the sunlight.

“Give ya much trouble there?” The older man laughs, bemused.

“Naw.” He drawls in response, inspecting his knuckles.

“So, what’s your name, Miss?”

You shake your head, coming back to yourself. You’re so tired of running and worrying and overthinking, these men didn’t seem like Pinkertons, you sigh and don’t even bother coming up with a fake name on the spot. If you’re going to be killed, you’re going to be killed, telling two men at a saloon in a town you’re leaving isn’t going to change that.

“Calluna Shaw.”

The younger of the two men looks at you with a questioning expression, eyebrow cocked. “Calluna… like the plant?”

“My mother was a bit eccentric,” you reply, slightly off-kilter, trying to tame errant strands of your hair that had escalated their binding, “I go by Ruth.”

“Hosea Matthews, Miss Shaw,” the older man shakes your hand, “And this fine example of poor manners over here is Arthur Morgan.”

“Miss.” The other man, Arthur, simply nods, tipping his black leather hat.

“Any family we can take you to? A father, brother, husband?” Hosea asks, brushing off the dust that accumulated on his vest as a wagon passed on the dusty street.

Your gaze moves downward, your voice is small in your reply. “No… I’m a recent widow.”

“Ah,” Hosea clicks his tongue, “my condolences, Missus Shaw.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Well, before that gentleman so rudely interrupted you, you were in the saloon? Can we get you a drink? Dinner?” The older man asks. 

“I was just finishing up, I need to catch the ferry to Saint Denis tonight.”

Arthur scowls. Hosea chuckles softly. You cock your brow in questioning.

“Ah, Saint Denis. The big city. So many people-” Hosea looks at Arthur while pulling a packet of cigarettes from his vest pocket.

“Too many people,”  Arthur interjects, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What’s there for you, Missus Shaw?” Hosea asks, placing a cigarette between his teeth.

“I… I don’t know, I guess. I lived there about ten years ago, but I haven’t been back since.”

Hosea strikes a match, lighting the cigarette. He waves his hand, extinguishing the flame before dropping the used match to the ground.  He tosses the pack of cigarettes at Arthur, who catches it easily, sliding one out before tucking it in a satchel slung across his shoulder.

“Well, safe travels to you, Miss. I hope you find what you’re lookin’ for in Saint Denis.” Hosea places his hat on his head.

“Thank you, Mister Matthews. And to you, Mister Morgan. Thank you to both of you for stepping in when you did.”

Arthur simply nods in response, lighting a cigarette behind his cupped hand. Hosea taps on your hand gently as he holds it. “Arthur, be a gentleman and take the lady’s bag.”

The younger man rolls his eyes but turns his head to blow smoke from his cigarette, placing his matchbook back into the satchel at his hip.

“Oh, no, I am more than capable-” you interject, flustered. You reach toward your leather bag on the ground, but Arthur snatches it up before you can.

“Nonsense. Besides, the boy needs a lesson in manners every so often, ain’t that right, Arthur?”

Boy? You think, he’s got to be older than I am, at the very least. You quirk your eyebrow as Hosea cheerily offers you his arm. “Miss, let me escort you to the ferry dock. You never know what kind of ruffians you can run into here.”

Arthur mumbles under his breath, placing his hat back on his head with his free hand. He looks annoyed as he moves around you and Hosea, walking in the direction of the docks.

You take Hosea’s arm, “T-thank you, sir.”

“So, Saint Denis. I’ve been there a few times, but not in many years.” Hosea says, leading you down the street at a leisurely pace, several paces behind Arthur. “What do you plan to do there?”

“I don’t really know. Find some work, I guess. I don’t have much to fall back on. I’ve fallen on… difficult circumstances recently…” You say, sighing. Hosea gives you a pitying look. 

“I’m sorry to hear that. Life has a way of really giving it to us sometimes.”

You purse your lips, looking ahead. Several feet ahead of you, Arthur moves up the street. You turn back to Hosea.

“Is he your son?” The earlier comment came back to you, as you try to make conversation.

“Arthur? No. Picked him up as a teenage delinquent. I try to teach him manners, but you can see how well that went.” He laughs, coughing slightly to clear his throat.

“Delinquent?”

“Hasn’t grown much out of it, I’m afraid.” 

You smile, laughing softly at Hosea’s comment. A smile graces the man’s face as he winds his arm tighter around yours. 

“I know you said you’re goin’ to Saint Denis, but if you find yourself needing people ‘round, well, you’re welcome to come with us. We move around a bit, but have a good group. Several women too.”

“Oh,  thank you, Mister Matthews, but I really should make that ferry.” 

“Of course. You just seem like you need some lookin’ out for.” Hosea replies, leading you up the stairs of the pier, unwinding his arm as you reach the top. People have started to queue ahead of the blue-painted ticket window in the building set further down the pier. Arthur waits, smoking his cigarette, next to a bench.

“Thank you again, gentlemen.” You say, turning to Arthur and Hosea in turn.

Arthur places the leather bag on the ground next to you, gently at least. He takes the half-smoked cigarette from his mouth and drops it, crunching the end under his boot. “ ‘M gonna get the horses ready,” he turns toward you, dipping his hat quickly, “Good luck in the city, Miss.”

“Thank you,” you reply. He takes his leave, his large frame moving between people and horses and wagons gathered at the shoreline of Flat Iron Lake.

Hosea smiles, “Offer still stands, Miss Ruth.”

He nods, backing away, he taps the rim of his hat with two fingers in a mock salute before turning back toward the town. You wave in return, watching him disappear into the crowd. You sigh, moving to the line of people near the ticket counter. You gaze out at the lake, the evening sun reflecting on the water.

What was waiting for you in Saint Denis? You haven’t been back there in years. Fleeing there as a young woman, alone in the world. Like the past ten years hadn’t happened.

“Miss?” 

You shake yourself from your thoughts. You’re at the ticket counter, and the uniformed man behind the desk looks at you expectantly.

“Y’buying a ticket to Saint Denis?”

Your heart beats loudly in your head, deafening in its staccato rhythm. You stare at the man, who quirks his eyebrow at you.

What was waiting for you in Saint Denis?

Nothing. No one. At all. No family, no friends. Nothing.

“Miss?”

“No. No, I’m not.” You spit out, leaving the queue and hurrying back to the road, away from the ticket counter.

Your breathing is heavy as your mind races. You look around, eyes darting this way and that, shooting across men and women and horses and movement, searching for your possible salvation in a black studded hat.

Nothing, you don’t see them along Sisika Avenue. 

You hike your skirt with one hand, grasping tightly onto the leather bag, and run, darting around and through people queuing for the ferry. Back toward the saloon, would they still be there?

Rushing down the block, past the butcher and the sheriff’s office, you look for them, eyes darting this way and that, head on a swivel as you come upon the saloon that you had met them in. You could not see them, the thin, older man and his younger partner, who was built like a brick wall.

You raise onto your toes, trying to catch sight of them the length of the street. Finally, you catch sight of their hats, the two men mounted high on horses, turning off of the street and heading north, on the road out of town. Leaving Blackwater, leaving you behind, leaving you alone. You are utterly alone in this world.

You run, grasping your skirts in one hand and your bag in the other, weaving past people on the street, catching sight of the horses as you round the corner. They were almost out of earshot. Your lungs feel as if they are about to burst, but you throw your bag to the ground and cup your hands around your mouth to amplify your voice.

“Wait!”

You see the two men pull on the reins of their steeds, causing them to circle around on the road. Hosea nudges his grey horse forward, walking back down the hill toward you.

He smiles at you once in earshot. “Change of heart, dear girl?”

“I…” you trail off, still breathing heavily.

A large red mare trots up to you as well. The man atop it scowls, which makes you reconsider your current path of action for a passing second.

“I’ve got nothing…and no one, Mister Matthews. There’s nothing waiting for me in Saint Denis.” You explain, voice breathy after your dash from the docks.

“Come with us, Missus Shaw. We’ll watch out for you.” Hosea extends his hand forward toward you.

Arthur narrows his eyes, “Hosea….” He warns, trailing off.

“Now, now. C’mon Arthur, what has Dutch always said? We save folk who need savin’.”

He eyes you, up and down, warily. 

“Fine, fine,” he retorts, grumbling. He swings his leg over his mare’s rump, jumping down to the dirt. The large man lumbers over toward you, motioning with his thumb to Hosea’s horse. “C’mon Miss, up you go.”

He grabs your waist and heaves you up onto the rump of the grey Turkoman as if you were nothing. You clutch your small bag in your lap as you get situated, smoothing your skirts down.

“Y’good there, Missus Shaw?” Hosea looks over his shoulder as Arthur remounts his horse.

“Yes, and please, y’all just call me Ruth.”

“Alright there, Ruth. Let’s be on our way.” Hosea replies, pulling on the reins.

The horses trot away from Blackwater as the ferry’s horn sounds, piercing the stillness of dusk. You’re not on it. The lights of the town are starting to come ablaze, as you look back on the receding skyline against Flat Iron Lake.

You are on a road heading north.

-

END CHAPTER 1: LIMPANY

[angel-fics]

Darkness Within the Light

Chapter 2 of a Dwayne Stephens x Latina!Pregnant!Witch!OC

Warnings: depictions of violence, descriptions of grief and homelessness, threats on life, foul language and adult situations. All readers are responsible for their own media intake, if you’re a minor, it is not my responsibility to decide what is or isn’t appropriate for your viewing.

Summary: Jessamine is new to Santa Carla and mostly fully aware of the strange occurrences that plague the small town. Running away from one large problem into what could be another one isn’t going to deter her from doing whatever it takes to make her unborn child safe again.

Jessamine felt as though there were many reasons as to why events happened the way they did. She was very much a believer in the whole “everything happens for a reason” faith system. However, that didn’t mean she always liked it and was prone to acting less reasonably than she felt she should.

Like now, for instance, as she argued with a local peace officer for parking outside of the police station to rest. In her very much valid defense, she had been driving a very long time to a place that was mostly unfamiliar to her. It was in her best interest to settle down in or near a place that’s entire purpose was to protect and service her. What was so difficult to understand about that?

“Ma’am, I understand completely, but you are not permitted to park your van outside of a police station without an appointment or permit. You’ve given neither and are therefore loitering, which is prohibited,” the surly officer explained. The bright, hot morning sun sparkled off his badge, obscuring his name, but that wasn’t something Jessamine particularly cared about this early.

“Yes, I know, you’ve said so three times, all without letting me fully explain myself. Which is why I haven’t the faintest clue as to what you supposedly ‘understand’ because I haven’t said anything,” Jessamine rambled, tired and frustrated beyond comprehensible belief. “I’m new to town, I just arrived late last night. I don’t know any of the hotels or temporary testing spots and this seemed the safest place to be. So much for serve and protect.”

The cop blistered considerably at her jibe, his fair complexion darkening to a worrying shade of rose in irritation. “Ma’am, it really wasn’t a wise decision to travel to a new place without a previously planned place to stay,” he chided her, shifting his weight to readjust himself in the sweltering heat.

Jessamine took in a deep breath and asked the Great Mother for guidance. She counted out just a few seconds silently, before allowing her breath to flow from her lips and join the countless particles in the surrounding air.

“I do have a place to stay, I was not in the right physical condition to continue driving. As I previously said. I did not mean to cause such a commotion but I was on the verge of losing consciousness at the wheel and would’ve preferred to not have broken a few more serious laws in the process,” she explained as calmly and politely as she possibly could, closing her eyes to envision her self control as if it were a tangible thing.

She imagined herself grasping it and holding it close to her chest to act as a healing balm from her more scattered thoughts. It wrapped around her coolly, bringing down her spiritual and emotional temperature to something more manageable and less distracting.

“I will take my leave now, officer, if you could just point me to the library,” Jessamine sighed languidly, fluttering her eyes back open to see the cop’s disapproving but slightly relieved gaze.

“You’ll find that most public spaces are on the same road, the main one, that branches off between the boardwalk and grandpa’s ranch,” he pointed out, literally pointing in the direction of where she ought to go.

“Grandpa?” She tilted her head questioningly, the spark of recognition flaring in her eyes. “I wasn’t aware everyone called him that.”

The cop laughed loudly from his belly, a lot more at ease knowing she wasn’t some young tourist looking to make trouble. “It’s not as if the old coot could be confused for anything else. I swear that geezer has been past his prime since the day I was born. Every year I think the city council is gonna grant him ‘historical landmark’ status,” he chuckled at his own jokes, obviously knowing the man fondly.

“Wouldn’t surprise me, he has a habit a becoming a local treasure where ever he goes,” the young woman went along, hoping to end the conversation now that she’d gotten what she’d wanted.

The cop readjusted himself once more and placed his wide and stubby hands around his utility belt, also eager to get to a cooler environment. The sun bear down mercilessly, not a cloud to shield the surface from the heaven’s rays, and staying exposed for an extended amount of time was sure to give one heatstroke.

“Well, I’ll let you get back to it, little miss, just don’t let me catch you loitering on public property again. Stay in parking spaces or get a permit, ya’ hear?” His stern warning combined with a chastising finger wave did nothing to intimidate her as he might have hoped, but she played along for the outing of the situation.

“Yes, sir, you won’t hear a peep about me,” she agreed gratefully, getting extremely lucky when her old faithful van started on the third raucous twist of her key and wheezed to life. She drove off with a small flutter of her ringed fingers and pulled out of the parking lot. Much to her relief, the officer who’s name she never learned quickly took the opportunity to head back to his ventilated work environment.

Readjusting her review mirror, she analyzed all of the signs on all of the local shops and vendors that made up the entire center of Santa Carla. She drove by so many ice cream shops, diners, gift emporiums and convenience stores that they all blended together. They were all perfect for tourists, especially those who valued the “small town charm” that these shops exuded. There wasn’t a single pharmacy, clinic or any singular building along the strip that was for locals or permanent residents. Jessamine figured that all local practices were private so that the main public income could come from tourist revenue. The only building that was serviced to both local and foreign visitors was the library, and it stood out like a black beacon against a neon background.

Almost literally. While every other shop or store in the area was printed with long faded, but once bright colors, the library itself was donned in various hues of black, brown and grey. Also unlike the other businesses, it stood tall, nearly able to block out the sun with its sheer height. Even the architectural design was different, obviously older and better maintained. There was no chipping of the shutters or cracks in the stone pavement and steps below the large, iron-wrought double doors.

Jessamine honestly felt a bit insecure with her eyesore of a van being parked outside such a place, with dirt and dust caked along the edges, covering the dull paint job of what was supposed to be a vibrant medley of yellows, purples and greens. She tried to dampen the slight shame and fell into a new habit of hers whenever she became stressed and needed to reassure someone that she knew what she was doing.

Placing a hand upon her stomach, her palm slightly sinking into the fat as close as she could without compressing her baby, she began to comfort her unborn child. Logically, she knew that her baby wouldn’t actually be harmed if she placed the full weight of her hand into her stomach, but she didn’t like feeling like the child was crowded within her womb.

“Our Great Mother has kept us safe thus far and continues to bless our ongoing journey, lovey. May she continue to guide us along a safe and happy path while we devote our faith and practices in her name. We must face yet another obstacle in our journey, but it is nothing we can’t handle. We have a home now, there will be no more scavenging for food or fighting over sleeping spots. Let us be off, then,” Jessamine concluded, giving a small kiss to the medallion that hung from her neck.

Usually she would talk to the Great Mother for comfort or. . . him. But she couldn’t anymore, not directly without setting off a chain of events best left alone, as least as long as it took to guarantee her safety. Guiding her child along the right life way was the next best option. But oh, how she missed the comfort of receiving Great Mother’s celestial guidance, a potent and visceral anomaly that she cherished greatly.

Jerking her door violently and having to shove her entire body weight just to open it, she nearly fell onto the sidewalk when it gave way. Dusting herself off and fighting her clothing and hair into a somewhat less unkempt position, she grabbed a large binder with all of her legal papers and approached the large double doors of the library.

Even though her van wasn’t parked all that far away from the library, the young brunette felt all the more intimidated by the sheer power that the large, ancient building gave off. Invisible to the naked eye, but all too clear to those with a deeper sense of the surface plane, like Jessamine. She knew she had no reason to be so cautious around this new place. It was a place of safety. An escape. A sanctuary. A new home to raise her miracle baby and hone her magic to keep them safe. Although the “Murder Capital of the World” wasn’t the ideal place to start a family, it would serve her purposes, and maybe even be a permanent place to settle.

Jessamine was a witch, or Wiccan, if you prefer. An individual in touch with their spirituality and nature and the energy around them. Before this, before the accident and the move, Jessamine wasn’t a particularly powerful witch. And when in her own body, she didn’t carry much of a presence. She spent most of her time on the astral plane, simply absorbing the cosmic power and communicating with the Great Mother. She had a job, of course, a role within her coven.

Just like she was trying to become here, in Santa Carla, she was a historian. She kept track of every known magical artifact or objects with Wiccan significance. Another one of her duties was to translate the runes and glyphs used on maps or in inscriptions or written by Elders in diaries. She also did research on the importance of maintaining or locating said items so that the Coven Council would approve on expeditions to extract those items. She wasn’t one for exertion or physical labor, she was too open-spirited. It made it very difficult to focus on the physical world around her for long periods of time. It’s very dangerous to be separated from your body for long periods of time without protection. Especially in risky environments. She wasn’t the only person who did such research and she wasn’t the most dangerous person who looked for them.

The natural enemy of most modern Wiccan were dark practitioners, people who abused the Great Mother’s gifts for dangerous and harmful purposes. There was no such thing as a dark or evil object or spell. In order for that to be, there’s have to be a dark energy, and such didn’t exist. All energy is ambivalent at best, and geared towards universal balance. Wiccans are those who can hone and use energy as a corporeal thing that can suit one’s purpose. Spells are words that act as hands for that energy. Objects are a talisman to contain energy that can be used later on and influenced by its user. Dark practitioners manipulate the natural forced for malignant intentions. Magic is simply how it is used, which is why there are so many different types.

Jessamine wasn’t well suited to go against dark practitioners, not physically or magically. And certainly not while pregnant. Pregnancy is a natural magic that anyone can register. It is beautiful and powerful, but very dangerous on mothers. It’s not a necessary magic and many choose not to indulge or witness it. And while pregnancy had drastically increased her power, she needed the time and space to get used to the energy that was granted to her. Wiccan who simply use the energy to feel it aren’t particularly knowledgeable or powerful, especially when so young as she was.

That’s why, after muttering a small safety spell and then a luck spell, she mustered up all the courage she possessed and marched through those big, dark doors into what would hopefully be her pathway to a new life.

The entryway opened up to a lobby area and through a revolving door was the actual library. Unlike most modern libraries, there were no computers or phones of any kind. The lobby where Jessamine stood held five iron baskets that were each filled to the brim with newspapers, each one topped with that day’s paper. There were no people that Jessamine could see or sense. No that it mattered, Wiccans we’re good at obscuring their presences if needed. Beyond the lobby, there wasn’t a single person among the huge book shelves, nor at the numerous long tables, nor behind the help desks. It were as though the place was closed or abandoned, despite the doors being unlocked and the lights illuminating the entire building along with the afternoon sunlight.

Grabbing a newspaper, Jessamine sat down in an old and uncomfortable lobby chair and pretended to occupy herself until life made itself known within the library. She was just finishing up the extremely extensive Missing Persons section before she heard a slight shuffling to her right and was startled to find an odd looking young man right in front of her. He was tall and thin, he looked to be of Asian descent, with large, thick spectacles making his brown eyes look owlish. He silently stared at her curiously, his fingers intertwined and laying limply atop his pelvis. He didn’t look to be all that much older than she did, maybe about two to four years her senior. His long-sleeved button up was buttoned all the way to the top and tucked beneath his belted corduroy slacks.

“What are you doing here?” His low voice was smooth and quiet, a bit of a lilt revealing that he wasn’t a native to California, but Jessamine couldn’t quite place it. His rather odd wording also told her exactly why no one besides her was here.

“I applied to work here because you were urgently hiring,” she answered silkily, ignoring his mannerisms. Something told her that there was more to him than just a simple, small town librarian.

“You’re a long way from Vermont, Miss Marcel, and in no condition to be doing what you’re doing,” he chastised her, wagging a disproving finger in her face as though she were some disobedient child.

Making a face, she grabbed his finger within her own fist and held it away from her. “Yes, the undead population here is a tad bit more concerning than what I had initially anticipated.”

He yanked back his finger as though she had burned him and grabbed her binder, flipping through it, his facial features occasionally twitching as he took in the information she provided.

“The vampire problem is being handled appropriately. However there isn’t much to do about the werewolf working the council, and she hasn’t attacked anyone yet, anyway. Besides, you know that’s not what I was referring to,” he insisted while not looking at her at all.

“I’m not looking for anything here other than a job. I don’t know what you’ve heard about me, and I don’t expect you to outright believe me, but I don’t mean to cause any trouble. I haven’t the faintest clue as to what’s going on over there, only that me and my child aren’t safe. This library is a safe haven unless threatened, and I am no threat. At least not to you,” she assuaged, dragging back the brown leather binder to her chest and cradling it.

The taller man considered her suspiciously, taking in her slightly haggard appearance and desperate brown eyes. “But you mean to become a threat for someone, no?”

“Not anyone who wasn’t a threat to me first. If it’s any consolation, I don’t know who’s after me, or why. But they killed the father of my child and it seems to have something to do with me. I want no part in whatever grapple for power is going down in that part of the country. I intend to make this my home and make a life for my baby here,” she swore, leveling him with a determined stare.

He swallowed at the severity of her words, the ingenuity leeching out of every pore, in a way that only a mother could manage. He knew who she was before coming here and he wasn’t particularly concerned about the potential consequences. He was powerful enough to take on any sinister forces and it wasn’t like he was the only supernatural being in Santa Carla willing to shed blood to protect their livelihoods. Plus, he could feel that baby, there was more about this entire situation and he knew the Great Mother would prefer him to protect her wounded daughter than return her to her original coven.

“My name is Leighten Waters, I am the librarian of the Santa Carla Public Library as well as the magik head of this region. I am in great need of a historian and welcome your expertise and qualifications. Allow me to explain your duties and lead you to your new living arrangements.”

~*~*~*~*~

End of Chapter 2

Tbh, i’m not that happy with it because it doesn’t have a whole lot to do with the plot and isn’t that interesting but don’t worry, lovelies, it’s all for world building and the introduction of the OC

I know this chapter doesn’t give off much about her, but I just wanted to build a foundation before I got into anything else. We will be learning more about her and her backstory in later chapters and i’m planing on having her meet Dwayne soon ;)

Oop sorry spoilers, but that’s all for now, i hope y’all enjoy and stay interested bc there’s a lot more to come. Pls like, share, reblog, send asks and comments

[laf-outloud]

They can’t cancel WIndy, this show gets better every week omg.

First off, am I the only one who is annoyed at the way Gus, Hoyt and Kate are treating Abby? It’s not her fault you guys followed her pretty blindly. And while I can understand that reaction initially, personally the moment I saw Shane I would have been like “oh wow, Abby was right. There’s two Tom Davidsons, what a reasonable thing to be confused about!” They made it even worse by treating her like a small child when she wanted to help out with Kai. Abby’s not even my favorite character and I still think her friends are doing her dirty…and chased her right into Tom Davidson’s arms.

At least Calian is a true friend, and the only one with wise words and support to offer even when he’s going through it. I thought it was so sweet that she went to check on him, and by his reaction I’m guessing no one else has yet. I love Abby and Calian’s friendship. To me, their chemistry has mellowed out and they’ve gone from potential love interests to twins souls. They’re both wise people who despite their on the surface stoicism are soft hearted and both are destined to be leaders, even if they don’t feel like they’re up to the task. Taza dying and his faith in Calian to guide their people had me tearing up. Calian walks a hard road, especially because there’s really no right route and suffering at the end no matter which way he goes. But Taza was right, him being pulled between two worlds make him the right leader to guide people into the uneasy new world. I also loved the one door closing, another opening with Taza dying and Calian potentially finding his sister. Lots of siblings popping up in Independence these days, I’m half expecting Hoyt to have brother next week lol.

We finally got the Kai centric episode we’ve been waiting for, and they did not disappoint! Even though I was suspicious of Lily from the get and figured she betrayed him for the Tong, they were pretty cute together so I was hoping it would all work out. I loved that he called Kate out for using him and proving that he knows a lot more than he lets on. And the detail about the change in his cadence! I thought his halted, accented English going to fluid Mandarin was a great detail, and it became 10x better when we found out the accent was all an act. So happy they didn’t shy away from badass Kai, a man who can dish it out whether it’s violence in streets or business negotiations. I want a whole season dedicated to a Kai and Tom partner ship and the two of them running Independence. I was shocked that Kate was so disgusted with him though. Ma’am, get off your high horse.

Shane Davidson was not what I was expecting. I thought he was going to be the competent golden child, not the party boy recklessly skating by on his family’s name/wallet and his ego. With every episode, I’m more convinced that Tom is trying to make a name for himself beyond his family, and that in his own way he really does care about Independence. I wonder what he was going to confide in Abby about, maybe warning her away from his brother? It must have stung to have disinterested Abby appear so into his brother. I was not expecting Abby to go to Tom about her suspicions regarding Shane! I wonder how her relationship with Tom is going to change going forward, and if that’s going to prevent her from making up with the rest of the group whose distrust of Tom runs too deep. I also wasn’t expecting Tom to have already hung his brother up! Like Tom, why do you have a murder shed? I figured last week it was a one time thing, but two people back to back? Tom you rascal. It shouldn’t make me like him more, but it does lol.

And while we saw a decent amount of Gus and Hoyt this week, there wasn’t much going on with them. I liked the hint of Hoyt’s more serious side, and the two of them work so well together I hope they continue to have more side storylines. Hoyt is a great character because everyone brings out a different side of him. Abby and Kai bring out his protective nature, Kate brings out his humorous side (they’re like bickering siblings, I love it), and Gus and Calian bring out his potential to be his own man who would make his father proud.

Another beautiful review! I know there was a lot going on this week, but I felt like it flowed a better than the previous week and had a bit more focus.

As for they way Abby's friends treated her? I think there's still an element of Abby being an outsider. Hoyt, Gus, and Kate have been in Independence longer and have a stronger relationship with Kai. They all went into protective mode and maybe they weren't sure how willing Abby would be to help Kai. (Though it was still rough to see them not even giving her a chance.)

The chemistry between Abby and Calian is ridiculously hot! I loved hearing Abby speak a bit of Apache. Even if they don't become love interests, their friendship is incredibly sweet.

My heart absolutely broke for Kai in this episode. They took us through the emotional and character gamut with him. Kai is a man of many talents and I can't believe Lily played him like that. The last thing he needs after going through such a harsh betrayal is for Kate to turn her back as well.

I will forever be confused by Tom. He seems to have so many righteous intentions, but his penchant for torture is pretty worrisome. How long before he turns on one of our WIndy favorites if they cross him?

Loved your analysis of Hoyt! It's so fun to see the different way each relationship develops.

[zalrb]

Greys anon here again

Ok you do make very fair points ma’am

I agree that mer doesn’t want to be her mom and Cristina pointing that out is what prompted her to start the whole research but I do think that that Cristina could’ve delivered that argument a little differently. I don’t want her to coddle mer but I think some words were a little too much but Cristina has valid points.

I also agree that mer has issues separating work and personal and it bothers me mer has never been the one to make the first move to apologize. In season 5 after that argument it’s Cristina who comforts her after mer goes to Williams execution and had a breakdown that Derek couldn’t stop, so mer never actually took the first step.

In season 10, they have another argument and during the moments before aprils wedding, Cristina approaches mer and tells her that her life is different than mer but it’s just as hard because she’s doing it alone and she at least thought she’d have mer. Cristina is the one to say all of this and mer then confesses her jealousy and the two make amends but I didn’t like how mer didn’t make the first move again.

On the subject of Shane, he starts kissing up to Derek when his new crop of interns arrive at the hospital and he wants to be as talented and flashy as Derek. However, Derek notices a natural talent for neuro in heather brooks and he tells Ross that he’s gonna be focused on mentoring brooks from now on.

Shane is very jealous that brooks is now Derek’s student and in 9x19 he tells her “I know what you’re doing. You may think I’m too nice to do anything about it but you’re wrong. You can try snake neuro out from under me but just so we’re clear I’m not going down without a fight”.

Then in another episode Derek tells Ross that brooks is gonna be his primary student because she has a natural talent. Ross tells Derek that he can do better and work harder but Derek reiterates that brooks will be his focus.

In 10x1 Derek tells Ross to get brooks and find Webber. When Ross meets brooks he tells her that Derek said for her to find Webber. This sends her down to where the electric wires and water shock and kill her. Basically brooks dies by electrocution because Ross was so jealous and wanted her place under Derek.

Shortly after, Cristina takes Shane under her wing and he becomes fascinated with her intelligence and with cardio, so he stays on her service as much as possible. Working with yang and her crazy smart decisions in the OR make him feel empowered, and when he and Yang start sleeping together this only increases.

He eventually does things like fake more hours into the log to work more, and kisses Stephanie after they save a patient (knowing she was seeing Jackson and does it anyway right before Jackson walks in) which puts Steph in a difficult and stressful position

Then he makes the decision to operate on Alex’s dad which he has no business doing , and messes it up. Webber tries to fix it but later on Alex’s dad died because of sepsis related complication caused by Shane. Alex punches him a few times so that’s nice but still it bothered me that Shane never got consequences for killing brooks out of jealousy and killing Alex’s dad. Shane leaves later to learn under Yang though so that’s that - I just hate him so much I wish he was punished

Are you caught up on greys with Jackson and April though? A lot of situations in greys makes it easy to see both sides but in that case no one could make a case for April IMO - she was horrible and selfish to Jackson the whole time after they lost Samuel, and then left to work on Jordan because it made her “feel better” but she never considered his feelings or tried to approach him ever ?

Jackson tried to approach April many times after Samuel, like there’s this one scene he asks her to maybe try again and she goes “screw you” and leaves. April made samuels death all about her because she had a “faith” crisis, and never even thought about Jackson, who also lost his kid.

She goes to Jordan once and then comes back, then Jackson who’s been suffering silently all this time tells her if she go back to Jordan, he wont be here for her when she returns, which is more than fair. She leaves for Jordan again and returns and tries to “fight” for their marriage ?? Like lady, what are you thinking ?

In 12x11 they fight ;April says that Jackson wasn’t dying after Samuel like she was, and she needed Jordan to cope. Jackson says he was never coping but hid his pain to try and help her - April says she was taking care of herself to “survive” and Jackson eventually blows up and tells her that he’s not gonna wait forever for her and that she already left him twice and that he wants a divorce. April was so selfish and only thought about her pain and not her husbands and her faith doesn’t make her pain more important than Jackson’s.

Things happen after that lol but I just wanted to know if you were thinking the same about some of this ?

So, the whole Shane thing ... when I was looking up scenes of the season 10 fight on YouTube I saw other commenters having this, like, passionate hatred for Shane too and when you list everything he's done I'm just like ... I mean ... in the context of Grey's this seems as bad as other characters. Like, did you hate Alex?

Because tallying off the shit Alex has done? Because he wasn't thorough enough during the train accident episode, a woman dies from internal bleeding then he screws over Cristina with Webber. Because he gave Olivia the wrong directions, he fries a guy's brain then cheats on Izzie. He tells Owen about Meredith's messing with the trial, which gets her fired. He tells the husband of that patient that Addison tied her tubes when he knows that the patient begged Addison to do the procedure and couldn't tell her husband. He harassed Izzie by putting up her modelling photos, yelled at April when she didn't want to have sex, that time he gave Olivia and by extension George syphilis, telling the other interns that George was repeating his intern year. I wasn't even watching Grey's at this point but he beat the shit out of DeLuca then his exit from the show is leaving Jo a letter so he can be with Izzie? Lol, maybe Shane was annoying but other characters have been worse.

Also people being mad that Brooks died because Shane didn't go down to look for Webber, he didn't actively kill her, he had no idea that would happen, just say you wish he went down there and died instead.

In terms of April and Jackson, everything I recounted in the last post is what I remember about their relationship.

[booasaur]

Omg please do a gifset of all Ah Toy and Nellie scenes in the trailer! They also released a mini teaser before that and Ah Toy saying “Missed me?” Call me the fuck out ma’am!!! I really hope they’ll survive this season, they’ve already been through so much and looks like they’ll be even more this season. One of the new characters is gonna be a railroad tycoon who knew Nellie’s husband. I know Ah Toy has nothing to worry about but her jealousy side would be interesting lol. Hong getting some action too, so I need them to interact please! I would sell my soul for Ah Toy, Nellie and Lai to be happy this season. More cottagecore wives!

I also agree with you about the white casting. There’s some white characters I appreciated, but the truly awful ones like Leary and Buckley ugh. Though they do serve a purpose in the show. I have faith the writers won’t forget the story is really about, Asians and POC. Also, kinda funny that Mai Ling will get rich white lady friend of her own lol.

Ah Sahm and Mai Ling is so fucking complicated and angsty. Ah Sahm is the protagonist but they show he’s flawed, and Mai Ling does have sympathetic reasons. Damn, nobody is really ok in this show! I guess Im on everones side except the racists.

I should probably answer this, lol, now that we're heading into the season's home stretch.

We got Ah Toy jealous for like a second, lol, but at least the three were happy for a while. Hong also seems happy at the moment, but I doubt that'll last and unfortunately, probably he won't meet Ah Toy or Nellie in a moment of mlm/wlw solidarity.

There's been a LOT of the white characters, I don't know that we needed so many more cops, businessmen, and politicians inserted... But I will say that it still feels like the Chinese crew are the leads.

It does actually look like Ah Sahm and Mai Ling are heading to a place where their relationship with each other and their respective tongs will be tested again. The thing is, Young Jun isn't wrong, when it comes down to it, Ah Sahm, the character that a show would be created around, will pick his sister over anyone else. He wouldn't be the lead if he didn't. So how will things come down now, especially with all the other forces, where the tongs still decide to fight each other instead of the white people, I guess we'll see.

At this point, it really is a mystery if Nellie will return. Ah Toy didn't even mention her or seem to be thinking of her in the latest ep so... But on the other hand, her arc is still building to its resolution for the season, so maybe we'll get an appearance at the end.

[rose-tinted-ruse]

⛤ mal/malice/malison. i also respond to “prince” or “your highness” (i’m half-joking). nonhuman (loser vampire) host of a diagnosed DID system consisting of primarily introjects. body and host are both 24. blog run by me and used by a few other alters who will each have their own respective tag and are all 21+.

⛤ i don’t do system discourse on this blog and will block you if you try it with me. take that shit elsewhere. however, if you have genuine, good-faith questions about system stuff, feel free to ask as i’m relatively open about it for the most part.

⛤ audhd, disabled, trauma survivor of multiple types. transmasc, nonbinary, gender fluid. aroaceflux. pronouns are he/they/it.

⛤ witch, tarot reader, hellenic pagan. dionysus godspouse. long-time worshiper of apollo, athena, hades, and persephone. other deities are hypnos, thanatos, hecate, and aphrodite. i do hero cult work with achilles and patroclus. i have lots of other deities that hang around me but who i do not work with directly. ask me about my beliefs if you want, but keep in mind that i don’t do pagan discourse or myth literalism. don’t bother. i’ve been doing this for years and i know what i’m talking about.

⛤ unapologetically fat, unapologetically body positive. this does not mean my blog is a safe space for ed blogs. if you post anything even remotely related to any of this, dnf and dni.

⛤ mlm, t4t, nb4nb, sys4sys. sub with some very rare and very specific switchy tendencies. absolute bottom. couldn’t top to save my life.

⛤ this is my only blog. i follow, like, reblog, and message from this blog and this blog exclusively.

⛤ blog contents, limits, and dni under the cut. remember that if you interact with me without reading this post and understanding my limits, you are violating my consent.

⛤ all content is tagged appropriately for blacklisting purposes, and if i forget to tag something, feel free to dm or send me an ask and remind me to tag it. here’s a list of what you’ll mostly find in this blog:

- royalty kink

- hierophilia

- corruption

- teratophilia

- size kink

- bdsm

- worship

- cnc

- somnophilia

- exhibitionism

- breeding

- impregnation fantasy

- piss

- pet play

- free use

- occasional intox or mind control

- occasional forcemasc

- referring to others as titles (daddy, sir, etc) and being referred to with nicknames/pet names (baby, puppy, bunny, etc). these are titles only. ageplay and ddlg/ddlb dynamics make me extremely uncomfortable.

- there may be the occasional random other post thrown in, but 95% of this blog is nsfw.

⛤ limits (i will not block you if you post these things but do not want any of them directed at me):

- sc4t

- v0mit

- feet

- i hate, hate, absolutely fucking hate being referred to as daddy, sir, master, or other similar titles. do not refer to me using these titles.

- for personal reasons, i’m not a fan of calling people mommy. madam, ma’am, and mistress are not necessarily off the table, as long as they are not directed at me.

- feminine nicknames/pet names of any kind. i especially hate the word pr!ncess.

- spanking

- spitting

- gaslighting/manipulation

- i hate the word k!tten. do not refer to me using that term.

- i personally don’t like feederism content. don’t direct it at me.

- lesbians/wlw can follow and interact with my blog, but i would rather they not dm me, reblog my original posts, or send me asks!!

- if you are over 18 you are free to follow and interact with my blog, but i will not engage with you unless you are 21+. this is for my own comfort.

⛤ asks are open. if we are mutuals feel free to send me an ask me any time, although i’m very autistic and may not rly know how to respond. my dms are also open but im terrible at responding to them. if you wanna talk you gotta message me first tho lol sorry

⛤ dnf + dni: m!nors (this means under the age of 18), system discourse, cishet men (cis bi/pan + cis gay dudes are cool as long as you don’t see me as a girl), cishet women (cis bi/pan women ok, again as long as you don’t see me as a girl), men dni blogs, ageless, blank, misgendering, detrans, truscum/transmed, ddlg/ddlb, ageplayers, ed blogs, chasers, inc3st, fauxcest, pro-cop, terfs, maps + nomaps, pro-shippers, racists, race-play, freaks, bigots, or bootlickers of any kind. all of these things will result in an immediate block.

[angeli-5]

“In His Time”

By Angeli Mae C. Galimba

Once upon a time, there is a simple devoted married couple who lived with their faith. This couple is married for 5 years and longing for a child, they tried every advice and they visited every places suggested from others. From those hopeless moments they kept on praying and believing that they will be blessed with a lovable child. September 29, one normal day and they went to church to attend the daily mass, because they regularly attend daily masses.

            “Hon, let’s go?” Michael asked his wife entering their room.

“Let’s go” Rafha answered with a sweet smile.

They went outside, Michael open the cars door for Rafha, and then closed it. Touching the handle of the door Michael heard sound of crying baby, he paused a bit and continues to open the door, he is about to closed the door but the sound of crying baby get louder. The couple looked at each other in their eyes and reaction.

“Did you hear that?” the wife asks stuttered

“Yeah, I… I heard it twice” the husband answered. The couple get off the car immediately and check where the sound came from. As they search in their front yard, Michael searches to the side’s part of their front which is the grotto. He is about to move away from the place when the baby cried louder.

Michael shout in shock “Rafhaaa, Honnn come here” he shouted while his eyes only on the baby crying. Rafha immediately went to the grotto and saw the baby; he kneeled down and slowly put her shaky hands on the baby. She carried the baby in her warmth arms and started to cry and trying to make the baby calm by simple sing a lullaby. Michael can’t handle his emotion and his tears started to fall.

The couple went to the hospital first to check if the baby is okay. The check-up went well, there are no major problems, and it’s just that the baby is crying in extreme hunger. After the check-up they cleared and pay the bills at the counter. Then they went to police station to report the incident.  They arrived at the station safely, and Rafha keep on checking the baby in her arms. Entering the station, the police woman welcomed them and accommodate.

“Good afternoon, ma’am and sir, what is your concern?” the police woman asked politely,

“Good afternoon ma’am, we’re here to report to what happened this early morning.” Rafha said and she told every detail on what happened.  And obviously the shock was still evident in his trembling voice. 

The police woman told them that they need to surrender the baby and the baby will be blottered for 24 hours and the baby will stay under the care of DSWD. Rafha didn’t want to leave the child, so she whispered to her husband if they can just bring the baby home.

“Ma’am may we take the baby with us?” Michael asked with hopeful sounds.

“Sorry sir, but you can’t take the baby home. We’re going to wait for 24 hours if someone will claim the baby. You can come back tomorrow, if no one will come and claim the baby we can talk and settle about adoption if that’s what you want, ma’am and sir. “The police woman carefully explained.

Rafha handed the baby to the police woman, and they went out. It’s already 5:45 in the afternoon and they haven’t eaten yet, so they decided to just grab some food in a fast-food since they are tired and unable to cook cause of the mix emotions they have. While waiting for their food, Rafha saw a lovely family eating together with their 2 kids, and she started wondering why they can’t have a child. In wondering and asking a lot of questions and she couldn’t control her emotions and burst into tears. After a minutes their food are ready and went home. When they arrive they immediately ate then take a bath and slept.

September 30, it’s Sunday, they woke up early and went to church. After the mass, they went home since there’s no office work. When they got home they cherish their moment and prepare their lunch together with music and vibes like a young couple. At exactly 12 pm, they started to eat and the couple were happily sharing happy moments and dreams. After they ate they went to their room watch some movie and suddenly they got asleep. Rafha wake up at 4 pm and remembering the baby yesterday, she wait her husband to wake up and told him to go back to station and check if someone already claimed the baby.

They arrived at the station safely and directly went to the front desk.

“Good afternoon, ma’am and Sir” told the police woman who entertained them last time.

“Good afternoon, May we ask if how’s the baby and… if someone already claimed?” Michael asked.

“Regarding with that sir, it’s been a day since the baby was blottered. The baby is doing well sir… still, no one tried to claim.” The police woman explained.

The eyes of the couples became hopeful “can we see the baby?” Rafha asked immediately.

Then the police woman directs them the way to the baby. When they arrived, they were welcomed by the head of the DSWD. The police introduced them to the head; she also told the head that they are the couple who surrendered the baby. After the short convo they went to the rooms of babies and the care takes handed the baby yesterday to Rafha. She almost cries in happiness.

Since no one claimed the baby, the couple deals with the officers in charge to adopt the baby legally. After a serious talk, they can now bring the baby home and just clear and file the birth certificate of the baby the next morning.  The couple felt grateful and gave their sincerity on the police woman and from the people on DSWD.

On their way home they went to the nearest convenience store to buy some needs of the baby. When they got home, Michael goes right away to their room and fixes the bed for the baby. When they make thee bed, Rafha put the baby carefully at the bed. They took turns taking bath so that someone could watch over the baby. Then they went to bed, and talk about the papers of the baby.

“What will be the name of our baby boy, Hon?” Rafha asked Michael excitedly. 

“What if let’s make him my junior, Hon?” Michael he responded immediately.

“How about we combined our names?” Rafha said.

“Good idea hon, so it could be Rafha-ael?”He responded with excitement.

“That sounds good, hon. But the spelling would be R-A-P-H-A-E-L, Raphael” she excitedly said while writing the letter through her fingers on the air.

“What about his birthdate, hon?” Michael asked. “Since we found him yesterday, what if we’ll just write the date yesterday?”  He added.

“I agree with that hon…” she answered and start singing lullaby then she slowly closed her eyes and fell asleep while her husband is staring at her and just admiring how happy she is. And they sleep together.

The next morning, the married couple wake up because of the child’s cry. Rafha get up immediately and brewed milk and gave to Raphael. Then they both wake up and they take turns in the shower. Then they went to the church, their church mates were shocked because Rafha is carrying a baby. After the mass, they approach the priest since they are closed with him.

“Good morning Father” Michael said respectfully.

“OH wowww” the father said with excitement while looking at the baby.

“Finally, father” Rafha responded with a trembling voice.

“So when shall we baptize him?” the priest asked immediately.

“That is what we’re going to tell you, Fr.” Michael responded. Then they talk about the baptization of Raphael and what they needed.

Then the priest suddenly asked “so, how did you meet this child?” pointing at the baby.

“ Actually father, this baby was left at the grotto in our home last Saturday, that’s why we weren’t able to attend the daily mass because we run to hospital” Rafha explained.

“That’s why you didn’t able also to attend the simple celebration of the feast of the three Archangels” the priest said.

“Oh sorry Fr, we forgot cause of the sudden incident.” Rafha excuses.

“It’s okay; there still other chances to celebrate.” The priest responded.

“Ohh that’s interesting hon, we met our baby boy on September 29, and that is the feast of the three archangels and the name of one of the archangel is ‘Raphael’ which is what we want and planned last night.” Michael said lively and full of joy.

“Well, what I can only say is ‘everything happens for a reason’ and this is the perfect timing of the Lord for the both of you.” The priest said to the couple. “I’m one of the happiest people for the both of you, your prayers and hopefulness heart worth everything. I hope this would give an inspiration to you and people around you. That no matter how long it takes, just trust God’s perfect timing. And if it is he’s will, he will definitely give it to you. Learn to wait and have patience and always remember “God is good”…”

“All the time” the couple tearful responded with the people around them.

“And, all the time…” the priest added.

“God is good.” The couple responded quickly and Michael hugs his lovely wife and their blessing baby boy, named Raphael.