#that’s a bombshell of a compliment to drop so casually???????

[goldensunset]

got invited to a halloween party last minute so i’m like trying to find a way to put together something resembling a costume and my friend was like studying me really intensely and was like ‘hmmm turn to the side for me— i’ve got it. goddess!!!!!!!!’ like oh ok girl……

[natewriteslol]

Hey lol i hope i'm not bothering bug if that's okay could i request the first years + Grim {platonic only for the gremlin lol} (sorry i just love them they're all so precious🥺) with a MC who has demonic heritage? Like, when the mirror judged them he talked about them being stronger than the average human or something and they just shrugged went "ah yeah, it's because my grandparents are demons".

They're still human since they're the dominant genes but as i said previously they're stronger than an average person and have heightened senses. they're not as strong as a demon or a half-human half-demon but they're capable to defend themselves if needed.

Bonus if they actually get to meet their demon relatives and their relatives are super sweet to them. Sorry i just love the thought of a thousands of years old creature being soft for a kid 👉👈 gsksgs sorry that this is so specific gsksgsk

A/N: There’s nothing wrong with specific asks bby I love this prompt! I will be making a part two where the first years meet the grandparents :)

Y/N is gender neutral

Characters: Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade, Epel Felmeir, Jack Howl, Sebek Zigvolt, Grim (platonic ofc)

Ace:

-You both had to study for an upcoming test for Magical History

-Ace texting you, and I quote “PLZ HELP”

-With a ridiculously, large textbook with leather fastening laid out on the table and other resources you began your session

-”Okay, I understand every section of this book. But the last one is about demons, but I really don’t understand it. It’s in this forgien text and I can’t read any of it.”

-You turned to look at the page, looking it over, you understood it perfectly

-”It’s discussing magic potion compounds demons use. It’s nothing that we really need to study in depth.”

-Ace looked at you like you grew another head, “How could you understand any of that, Y/N!?”

-”Well, my grandparents are demons after all.”

-”Y/N, what the fuck.”

-You can’t just drop a bombshell like that?? So casually??

- Ace had been crushing on you forever, and just now you’re confessing this to him??

-I mean he knew that you were incredibly strong, but he just thought that was how humans from this place you call Earth come from

-He was so shocked and in a state of disbelief that he just had to meet your grandparents

Deuce:

-There had been rumors of a dark evil from within the forest, something otherworldly

-”Hey Deuce, wanna go check out of what's in the forest?” you asked, bored on this Friday night

-”W-what?! Are you crazy? I’m not going with you and you shouldn’t either-”

-And there he was, by your side roaming through the dark forest with a flashlight

-Hearing the coos and caws of different creatures lurking within

-”Ah new humans to devour, my favorite!” a new voice exclaimed.

-And while Deuce screamed, he got infront of you to protect you “Y/N get behind me now!”

-”Y/N?

-You recognized that voice. “Eren?”

-”Oh, well this is awkward-”

-”Now what did your mother tell you about terrorizing the innocent?” you asked, gripping the shadow beast’s...ear?

-”Now you best go home, otherwise I’ll tell Aunt Acheron!”

-Deuce was in a state of shock, mouth gaping open at your exchange

-”Sorry, that was my cousin Eren” you said sheepishly.

-”What do you mean cousin?” Deuce asked, not believing what was coming out of your mouth

-”Well my grandparents are demons. Almost my entire family is!”

-You were just… full of surprises aren’t you Y/N…

Epel:

-Pomefiore was hosting a “Party for the Ages” as Vil called it

-And they needed to get these decorations on point, so Epel called Y/N to help aid them

-They needed to hand the streamers from the upper handrail of the stairs, which keep in mind is a completely second story

-”Hey Y/N, could you please hang these up there?” Epel asked, handing you the streamers

-”Oh okay cool” you replied. Wait why are you running- oh my god you jumped to the second story of the dorm

-”Y/N!” Epel yelled out.

-”Yeah?”

-”What did you just do?!”

-That was superhuman strength, no human being could jump from the ground to the second story of a house, let alone a mansion like building?

-Once you both finished decorating you told him about your heritage with demons

-” I-I see”

-He understands but he is still in shock

Jack:

-He always knew that there was something strange about you

-Your abilities were flat out inhuman and your smell was different

-But he just couldn’t figure it out

-Until one day, he just had to ask

-You decided to help the organize the Rugby field with him in the afternoon

-”Hey, Jack! Catch!” you said, about 80 feet away from him

-And there you threw, except you didn’t quite aim it right

-And...the ball went right out of the vicinity

-the display looking like a comet as it blistered with so much heat it turned a bright orange-fiery hue

-Jack gasped at what just happened

-”Y/N, what even are you?” he asked, still bewildered

-”Well, a quarter demon. I’m not as strong as my grandparents though” you smiled.

-Jack loves you dearly Y/N, but god did you confuse him

Sebek:

-Ah, Sebek he really did try to keep his feelings for you at bay

-I mean, him with a human? Pathetic, it could never happen

-But everyone did see how he treated you more gently than others he had distaste for

-When he realized your true power and when you told him about your family was when you challenged to spar him

-Sebek decided to just go easy on you and throw out a couple of magical beams or whatever to help your skills in combat-

-Wait you’re beating his ass hold on-

-Even though Sebek won, the fae started his own little fit

-”What was that?! T-That isn’t like weak humans at all!”

-”Well, technically I’m not human since my grandparents are demons.”

-You grabbed your towel since you started to sweat

-”Well I’m going home, nice sparring match, Sebek! You did super good!” you complimented, giving a soft pat to his forehead with the back of your palm

-If he struggled this much fighting someone who only has a ¼ or ½ human DNA (he doesn’t know your parent’s DNA after all) then how powerful is a fullbread demon?

-The man has so many questions that he will bother you about

Grim (platonic):

-He knew during the first few months of school when you both had ghosts in your dorm

-And while you didn’t mind, there were a few in particular that seriously got on your nerves

-Those ghosts had to go

-One day they just wouldn’t stop messing with Grim

-And while he is a slight menace to society, Grim didn’t deserve it

-So you decided to take out your Amina Box (Soul Box), or your Soul Snatcher as you liked to call it that your grandmother had gifted to you

-Once you opened it, in the ghosts went inside vacuum like

-Grim was so weirded out

-”They were bullying me the whole time and you didn’t bother to stop them?! And where did you even get a box like that, stupid human?”

-”First of all, it was a little funny. Second off, I’m not really a human, after all my grandparents were demons.”

-Grim stayed in silence, connecting the dots until the light bulb went off and he got a little jealous

- “How come all the cool stuff happens to you?” Grim said, pouting.

-”Don’t worry, Grim. If ‘cool stuff’ happens, I’ll be sure to take you with me. I promise.”

[detectivehannibal]

Dr. Lecter Will See You Now

__

Hannibal Lecter x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Language.

A/N: Award for the worst title goes to me. Also, I’m gonna give third person a try. I have a love-hate for second person.

Requested by: @lousyydimwit

Word Count: 1,719

“It is. Do you have an eye for brands, Dr. Lecter?”

__

She was spoiled. It was as simple as that. She had always had everything handed to her on a silver platter. She knew this, of course. She wasn’t exactly stupid. A little blind to reality maybe, but not stupid. Everyone tended to have a bit of an immediate judgement when it came to her. She was always well put together and never had any part of her that was out of place. She was determined to be at her best all the time, mainly because everyone expected her to be. She never really thought about how exhausting it could be.

Her parents had worked endlessly in their early years of marriage and careers to ensure that she’d have the most stress free life possible. They struck it big and were able to send their little girl to the finest schools possible to assure her success. She had lived a VERY comfortable life. 

Still, she enjoyed being given anything she could ever want and/or dream of. She loved her lavish life. At least, until she was told that her time was up. Her parents had always told her that they would always take care of her until she was old enough to handle herself. She was 25 now and well past the age of being able to provide for herself. They weren’t cutting her off so to speak. They would just casually begin sending her less and less money until they were sure she was fine to make it on her own. So, they dropped the bombshell on her. 

She was going to have to get a job.

She wasn’t angry or anything. She knew this day would come eventually. She just hated that it came so quickly. At first, it was hard for her to accept that she was finally going to have to become a working adult, but she kind of found it exciting once she began job searching. 

But not just any job would do. She would rather be dead than work in a job that required real hard labor. She just wasn’t cut out (or used) to that sort of scene. God forbid that she break a nail while working. She ruled out waitressing, any kind of retail job, or anything that involved intense customer service. Her options were slimming down fast and she was getting discouraged. That’s when she found her golden ticket. 

She was skimming through the paper one morning when she saw an ad saying that a psychiatrist in the Baltimore area was in need of a secretary. She wasn’t familiar with the name of the therapist...but he looked oddly familiar. In any event, she saw this as her chance at work. She dialed the number, set up a time for an interview, and she was well on her way.

Here’s a little secret. She didn’t actually expect to get the job. She thought that Dr. Lecter would be interested enough in her to give her a recommendation for another job opening, not actually hire her as his secretary. Which was why she was stunned when he basically hired her on the spot and told her that she would start the following morning. When she realized that this was actually happening, she knew she had to put her absolute best presence forward. At least, until she was comfortable to relax into it. What he didn’t know, however, was just how much of an impact she was going to have on his life. 

She arrived on time the next morning, ready to get to work. Her job was pretty simple. Answer the phone, check in his patients as they arrived, take messages for him when he was in a session, get him coffee when requested. The basic assistant kind of job. She sat behind the desk in the lobby of his office, acquainting herself with the new area. He exited his office a little after lunch to check on her. It had really been the first time he had actually interacted with her that day.

“Ms. [Y/L/N],” He said standing in front of the desk. She looked up at him respectfully, but a hint of a smirk on her face; “I presume you are settling in nicely?”

On top of being a privileged lady, she was a fast learner. All her years of extensive schooling had prepared her in ways she never expected. She was acing her first day, much to his surprise. He was extremely observant and he expected her to be...well...kind of an idiot. 

“Yes, Dr. Lecter. Everything is just fine.” She replied confidently.

He hadn’t figured it out just yet, but he found her rather interesting. She wasn’t intimidated by him like most people were. As a matter of fact, that was the very reason he had been in need of a new secretary. The last one was so frightened of Hannibal that she took her talents elsewhere. It wasn’t like he had tried to kill her or anything. He had only done that to one of his former secretaries. 

“Good. I was hoping you were adjusting well.” He responded, putting his hands in his pockets.

She smiled, returning to her work briefly before realizing he was still standing there. She raised a brow;

“Do you need something?” She asked sweetly.

He was looking at her outfit. A skirt, blouse, and blazer with a pair of heels. He noted that it was a quite expensive getup, something none of his previous assistants had worn. 

“No, but I must ask. Is that Alexander McQueen you’re currently wearing?” He asked. 

He knew the answer was yes, but he wanted to see if she actually knew herself. He was beginning to get an inkling that she had come from a more than rich lifestyle. Luckily, she did actually know what it was, but she didn’t always know the origins of her clothes. Everything had always been bought for her. 

“It is. Do you have an eye for brands, Dr. Lecter?” She questioned.

He gave the slightest smile;

“I tend to, yes.” He answered simply.

He walked back into his office to prepare for his next appointment. She was a little disappointed that the conversation had ended so abruptly, but she knew that wouldn’t be the last time she ever spoke to him. This was a full time gig after all. She was over the moon with how things were going and it looked like she was going to be just fine.

Her first week went by without a hitch and the more conversations she had with Hannibal, the more bold she became. She didn’t know it yet, but she was finally having a say in her life. She was able to make decisions without something popping in to suggest her otherwise. She could be herself. However, her real self caused annoyance to come out of Dr. Lecter. But he was a patient man. He knew she just wanted to impress him. Even though he wouldn’t tell her yet, she was the best secretary he had been able to have in years. That still didn’t stop the twinge of irritation in his chest every time she said something unprofessional.

He entered the office around 7:00 AM, briskly walking by her desk like a man on a mission. She gave a fake offended gasp;

“Well, good morning, Dr. Lecter!” She called after him. 

He stopped at his doorway. He would admit, that was rather rude. He turned to face her;

“Good morning, [Y/N].”

That’s when she realized why he had been in such a hurry to get into his office. Coffee had been spilled all down the front of his white collared shirt and his pants. She couldn’t help but laugh lightly;

“Oh, I see you’ve had a great start to the morning,” She said sarcastically; “Would you like me to go get you another outfit?” She asked reaching for her keys.

“No, that won’t be necessary. I keep a spare in my office closet.” He explained.

She paused for a second, then a devious grin spread on her face. He mentally slapped himself, knowing she had found humor in what he had just said. 

“Do you now? Is it often that you have to change clothes while at work?” She asked, giving an implication that he wasn’t catching on to yet.

“It’s only for situations like this,” He said referring to his coffee stained outfit; “What are you inferring?”

She stood from her chair, leaning against the desk;

“Well, I’m sure you have to do something in between sessions.” She hinted.

What an insane accusation! He would never...pleasure himself while at work. And even if he did, he surely wouldn’t tell her about it. His posture and expression stayed unchanged, but he was getting agitated.

“I’m not sure I appreciate that statement, [Y/N].” He said honestly.

She was unfazed and pressed on;

“Come on, Dr. Lecter. I know you get bored in there. I’d probably do it too,” She admitted; “Honestly, if I looked like you? I know I would do it.” She flirted.

Now he was taken aback. That was quite the confession coming from his secretary. He was mentally noting to himself that this was probably why he was so intrigued by her. She wasn’t like his previous secretaries in the sense that she wasn’t afraid to say anything to his face. She was extremely honest and forward with her thoughts. He found that refreshing in a way.

“I’m flattered that you think that of me.” He accepted the compliment.

She shrugged, running a hand through her hair;

“I’m just saying.” She replied, sitting back down at her desk.

He pondered her words. Surely, there wasn’t anything wrong with being attracted to his secretary...or anything wrong with his secretary being attracted to him. He was still at his door, deep in thought. She noted the time was now 7:15, and he had his first patient at 7:30.

“Dr. Lecter,” She said snapping him out of his daze; “Paula Wallace’s appointment is in fifteen minutes.”

He nodded, getting back to work;

“Right. Of course.”

He retreated into his office finally to change into a new shirt and pants. A fresh thought entered his mind as he finished buttoning his shirt;

Maybe this new secretary was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

[owlespresso]

POLLEN. Meteor & Ardbert

Meteor/Reader/Ardbert :) This is a massive AU and there are no spoilers for anything beyond ARR. Shoutout to @lovehotelreservation who has been playing thru ffxiv and writing for it recently. Her writing is absolutely miraculous and if you like mine, you’ll love hers. also on ao3

“Hydaelyn’s chosen are bonded in ways… unseen and unfelt by most other species and individuals.” Minfilia’s smile is tight, her nervousness betrayed by the twitch to her lips and the look in his eyes.

“The power we hold can congeal and grow as we… bond with each other.” The dim lighting of the Rising Stones cast her hair in a delicate sheen. Her fingers drum atop her desk in a constant rhythm, yet another sign of her unease. “This bond can also assist in the restoration and stabilization of one’s aether. Given your… unique condition, it can be an invaluable resource.”

“We understand you’re very much capable of defending yourself, we think it would be advisable to provide you with two partners who compliment your unique skill set.” She folded her hands in front of her, lightly biting her bottom lip.

All of these tell-tale signs hint that she’s hiding something. Your stomach churns. Minfilia, who is usually as honest as can be, is hesitating to tell the genuine truth. She may hide her hand when dealing with foreign diplomats, or any other party that does not need to be privy to it, but with you? She’s never lied to you—at least, not to your knowledge.

This does not bode well.

“Okay.” Never had you thought you would be saddled with teammates. The idea is aggravating, to say the very least. If you are to have traveling companions, you would at least like to have a hand in choosing them.

However, there aren’t many with the echo. The pool which you could pick from is near nonexistent, and you certainly wouldn’t ask Minfilia for help. Not when she has so much on her plate already.

“Before you meet them, I would like to disclose how to most effectively utilize this bond.” Minfilia takes in a deep breath, as though bracing for an impact. “Physical touch is the best conduit for rejuvenating and stabilizing aether between partners. Acts of intimacy yield the highest reward, but even subtle, casual touches can be of use.”

Ah. This is the bombshell she waited so long to drop. Your stomach startles again, this morning’s breakfast rioting against your nerves. You’re all too aware that the partners which they have chosen are meant to be sexual partners as well as teammates. Not once had you been asked for input, not once had Minfilia hinted at the existence of this ability. As much as you trust her to have the Scions best interests at heart, you can’t help but feel distinct unease. She’s done more than select your teammates, she’s done matchmaking.

“Rest assured, we’ve chosen only the best possible for you.” As if sensing your discomfort, she hurries to quell your fear. “They are men of incredible valor and strength. They’ll suit you both on the battlefield and off of it.”

“No offense, but I think I’ll be the judge of that,” you say, lips curling into a slight frown.

“Of course.” She bows her head in a gesture of acknowledgement, giving you a weary smile. “If they do anything untoward, you are free to cast them aside and inform us. We won’t let that sort of behavior stand.”

“Okay.” You swallow and rein in your temper. There’s no use in growing frustrated when you haven’t even met these… men. Wait, there’s more than one? “How many are there?” The revelations that had been piled atop of you were too sudden and severe. The last thing you could handle was learning you had an entire herd of men meant to tag along with you.

“Only two,” Minfilia assures you immediately. “They’re good, virtuous men, but perhaps it would be better for you to meet them yourself. They’re waiting outside. Would you like me to call them in, or do you need more time to process all of this?”

You would like several days to process “all of this". The weight of each one settles on your shoulders, near driving you to the ground as your world seems to rapidly shift and change around you, regardless of what your wants or desires. If you really thought about it, you could understand her reasoning, but the disgruntled, emotional side of you isn’t in the mood to try.

“Sure.” You sigh, bringing a hand up to rub the bridge of your nose. Your eyes shut as you scramble to gather yourself. It’s impossible to absorb and come to terms with the situation in the few moments you have, but at the very least you manage to put on a straight face as she looks to the door and calls out.

“Ardbert, Meteor, please come in—”

- - -

The cold Coerthas winds tear at you, snow crunching underneath your boots. Your body is wrapped in layers of cloth, a warm sweater over an undershirt, paired with a long jacket. Still, the brutal temperatures leak through, gripping you to your very bones. More than anything, you want to return to Gridania, to the lush greens currently wrapped in the thrall of a soft summer.

Had you been any less concerned about the snowstorm gobbue that’s been terrorizing Ishgardian soldiers as of late, you might have turned tail and done so. According to locals, it’s been growing in power ever since it surfaced, having gotten its hands (tentacles? tendrils?) on a pile of charged crystals the Ixal left unguarded.

Fatigue bogs you down and rests firm in your body, exhaustion making it difficult to keep your eyes open. Regardless, you persist. These aren’t the worst conditions you’ve had to endure.

...Even if you’ve never had to endure them whilst in the middle of an aetherical flux. This is the worst time for your levels to destabilize, but you’ve come too far to turn back now. If you leave the monster to its own devices, it’ll move and possibly cause more destruction. You gave the good people of camp Dragonhead your word, and you plan to keep it.

“Do you need to take a break?” Meteor’s voice cuts through your internal griping, low and concerned.

It’s been a week since he and Ardbert joined you. Much like Minfilia insisted, they’re respectful. Despite knowing their purpose at your side, they haven’t yet broached the topic of physical intimacy. The furthest they’ve done is hold your hand or wrap an arm around your shoulder, usually for the purpose of stabilizing you or moving you out of the way of danger.

“No. I’m fine.” This isn’t the first time you’ve had to brave Coerthas’s malicious weather, and you’re not going to let it deter you now. He doesn’t push, turning to look back at the path ahead of him. The massive, black sword that rests on his back seems to pulse with saturated aether. You can sense it from a few feet away, a steady thrum that you assume is due to his status as a dark knight.

...He’s the first dark knight you’ve met, meaning you can attribute anything particularly weird about him to that very fact.

“Are you sure?” Ardbert’s voice rumbles softly from behind you. “You had better not collapse while we’re in the thick of the fight.”

Your eyebrows furrow, lips curling into a slight scowl. Their concern, while well-intentioned, agitates you regardless. The bitter cold, your flimsy levels of aether and the implication that you’re not strong enough to make the trip without taking a rest make for a chaotic, untamed cocktail of emotion.

“Like I said, I’m fine.” You force additional firmness into your voice to drive the point home.

Unfortunately, the moment you finish speaking, the ground cracks underfoot and gives way. Your heart jumps at the sudden shock, the world a blur of white around you. Only an arm wrapped firm around your stomach prevents you from toppling only a few fulms downward. Your back meets Ardbert’s firm, armored chest, the abrupt yet gentle impact causing you to gasp.

His large, warm hand sprawls over your hip, somehow felt through your thick layers.

Your gaze jolts downwards to the spot where you had just been. A rotted log, buried underneath snow and dirt alike had collapsed underneath the weight of time and weather. The adrenaline of the shock gives way to further aggravation—to think you’d been bested by something so minor! The frustration causes you to wiggle in Ardbert’s hold, and after a moment he releases you, muttering an apology.

The ghost of his touch ingrains in your memory, and your body calls for its return in a way you’re not comfortable acknowledging.

“...Still feeling alright?” Ardbert inquires. The lingering “I told you so” in his tone makes your eyebrow twitch.

“Oh, bugger off. There was no way I could have known that was there,” you insist indignantly. “Are you sure it’s not you who needs to take a break? You’re being awfully insistent.”

“I’m not the one who’s been shaking like a leaf for the past fifteen minutes,” he points out.

“I have done no such thing,” you retort curtly, albeit quietly. Determined to do all you can to tune out your companion’s nagging, you make a small game of trying to walk in the heavy footsteps Meteor leaves. Despite the awkwardness that still hangs in the air around you three, Ardbert has grown awfully comfortable in asserting you’re as delicate as glass. It’s likely an assumption he applies to every healer he meets.

You’ll simply have to prove him wrong. Set him straight. Allay his fears lest he smother you to death.

“I am not some simpering little maiden who requires coddling.” You push your voice louder as you continue to walk. “I do not need chaperoning. The only reason we’ve been put together is because you need someone with my talents to heal you when you get in trouble.”

“Really?” Ardbert inquires, sounding scorned. “You think you would be better off on your own? What? Are you going to pelt every threat you see with that flimsy instrument you call a weapon?”

“I—” you nearly round to face him. Your jaw tenses, your fists clench, and for a frightening moment animal anger rears up inside you.

It’s most fortunate that Meteor comes to a stop in front of you, extending an arm out. The message is clear. Stand back.

The small clearing you’ve arrived in is covered in a fulm of snow, barren except for the moss-covered, boulder-like mass that sits in the center. Its flank rises and falls with every heavy breath it heaves. You briefly thank the heavens that you’ve managed to find it asleep.

...Mere moments before you realize the plates of the armor your companions wear will likely knock together and awaken it should all three of you attempt a stealthy approach.

“Right then,” Ardbert says quietly, pointedly walking around you to stand next to his mirror image. “Don’t see much point in sneaking. Our best bet is to run up and smack it upside the head, as hard we can. Sound good?”

“That works.” Meteor grasps the handle of his massive blade, hefting it from his back.

Though you agree with this course of action, a part of you cannot help but feel miffed that they had not bothered to wait for your opinion.

The thought vanishes as Meteor plows through the snow, black armor stark against the far-spanning white.

The battle passes in shuttering frames rather than fluid motion, your coherency and ability to retain the memory of it shaken by the stress. You hold their lives in your hands, you realize, the fresh aether pulsing off your globe.

The creature howls as Meteor’s greatsword notches into its side. A gush of unnervingly clear fluid sprays from the sudden gash as it teeters backwards. It lashes out with an arm as it stumbles, clearly tousling with its pain and fear, kicking up heavy grooves in the snow.

Meteor winces as it manages to nick him on the cheek, but Ardbert is flanking it, sweeping his axe into its other side. They are poetry in pure motion, blades dancing underneath the faint sunlight that manages to seep in through the clouds. Their movements are wide and rotating, characteristic of those who fight with heavier weaponry. The significant ease behind each swipe of the sword or slam of the axe is marvel-worthy, especially accounting for the weight of them.

It’s times like these where you’re glad you can afford to remain on the outskirts of the field, able to admire melee combatants like they deserve but so rarely experience.

It also allows you to take stock of the surrounding environment for everything it is worth, able to spot hazards and oncoming threats that those wrapped up in the battle cannot. In the midst of casting a spell aimed for the creature’s head, your gaze catches upon a movement above the battle—a massive branch cracking and beginning to droop under the weight of the snow.

It’s thick, from one of the larger trees in the area.

Ardbert gasps as one of the gobbue’s tentacled arms hits him straight in the chest, sending him hurtling back a few feet. The air around its wide maw pulses with ungodly cold as it turns its attention to the other gnat at its side—Meteor still plowing through its thick hide with incredible determination, dancing around its hulking form.

The frozen breath it expels in a sudden gush catches on his cloak, sticking him in place. His expression contorts into a grimace, then a gasp as the rest of the hoarfrost hits him. The fine crystals dent his armor, coating it in a thick frost.

One of its thin, whip-like arms extends to finish the blow, nailing him in the side. The frost affixing him to the ground snaps, shards of it spraying into the open air.

The arcane energy that sizzles at your fingertips near burns as it zings from your grip. It jolts across the battlefield, meeting its target perfectly above the offending gobbue’s head.

The dangling branch snaps, the dead bark splintering as the bulk of it crashes onto the creature, knocking it back to the frigid ground.

And that’s the end. Your breath sends small puffs of white churning through the air.

The violent sounds of battle settle into a frozen silence.

- - -

Unfortunately, both of your companions had refused your offers to heal them, insisting that they could manage the trudge back to Camp Dragonhead. As inclined as you were to disbelieve them, any time spent arguing would be time wasted. The blizzard that loomed in the distance would surely catch up with the three of you. It nipped at your heels as you hastened in the camp’s direction, keeping a sharp eye on Meteor’s growing limp.

His expression, for the most part, had remained unchanged. Firm and resolute even whilst suffering.

Only after Haurchefant welcomed you into Camp Dragonhead’s threshold were you able to relax, spirited away to one of the larger spare chambers. A knight stopped by to bring extra kindling. Ardbert set about starting the fire whilst Meteor disrobes of his armor. The pieces clatter against the polished wooden floor, sharp metal giving way to soft underclothes.

His button-up clings to his chiseled form, pecs visible and round through the tight material. It comes next, the hem of it drawn over his head and dropped on a nearby chair.

The full length of his bare chest makes you swallow. Each muscle is sculpted to perfection, a testament to both his training and long years on the battlefield. His dusky brown nipples perk against the chilled air. Strands of thin, brown chest hair modestly decorate his skim. The trail thins by the time it reaches his abdomen, but thickens as it nears the obvious v-lines of his hips.

Your gaze roams northwards once more, hoping to sneak another glance to that heavenly chest.

Cleavage, you idly observe. You catch yourself wondering how they’d feel in your hands.

He all but flops onto the lone bed in the room, mattress bouncing underneath his weight. Goosebumps sprout across his arms as he adjusts his position.

The sound of Ardbert’s plate thudding onto the floor snaps you out of your stupor. Your cheeks burn deep, and you can only hope you haven’t been staring too long.

A smattering of bruises and marks scatter across Meteor’s left side. You struggle not to wince at the sight of them, already blossomed blue and black and green in certain places. The thick fabric of your cloak glides down your shoulders after you undo the clasp, gently placing it on the back of the chair. Your sweater comes next, leaving you clad in your undershirt. The air is warmed from the fireplace, but you feel goosebumps of your own coat your arms at the exposure.

Your socked feet glide across the floor. Ardbert noisily shuffles out of his attire behind you, doubtlessly working through the innumerable amount of clasps on his person. You’ll never be able to fathom how they can move with such incredible speed whilst bogged down by heavy platemail.

The mattress dips slightly underneath your knee as you climb atop of it. Meteor rests on the opposite side, gaze lazily tailing your motions. He’s picture perfect underneath the firelight, bare skin softly illuminated. The visual of him looks like it’s leapt from a classical painting, the rich, dark fabric of his pants bunched around his knees.

“Is… is it alright if I touch you?” Your mouth feels dry, your tongue heavy as you inquire.

“That’s the whole point, isn’t it?” Ardbert pipes up from the other side of the room, climbing out of his boots.

Your hands curl into the blankets. A stinging retort burns at the base of your throat, mere ilms away from your lips—but a sudden warmth wraps around your wrist, pulling your attention back to Meteor.

He looks up at you, expression soft, eyelids lowered. The rough skin of his palm is warm against your skin.

“You can,” is all he says. You swallow.

All you can muster is a small nod as you climb closer. The arcane pulse that roars underneath your skin sparks as the space between your body and his closes. You can’t help the stilted awkwardness to your movements as you rest on your side, elbow digging into the mattress to hold the rest of your body up. This isn’t an easy thing to do—the peculiarities of your particular power has always been at odds with your introverted personality.

Still. You can’t allow your personal hang ups to get in the way of your teammates’ health.

Your free hand stretches across that thin divide. Your palm tentatively rests atop his chest, right underneath a swollen pec. His flesh is firm and hot and alive underneath your touch, his body emanating heat like a stoked furnace.

A soft, green glow emanates from your palm as you stroke down his stomach, touch feather light. He shivers at the contact. Those vibrant eyes slide shut, his head lolling back as he fully sinks into the mattress. Plush lips stutter around a gentle sigh, his tightly-wound muscles beginning to relax under your ministrations. The soothing healing glow streaks over his skin, the bruises and potentially wounded bones beginning to mend.

Your gaze strays from your hand, journeying downwards to the trail of fine hairs that begins at his lower abdomen, granted a new perspective on the prominent V of his hips. Lower, your attention moves, to where a pointed shape is beginning to rise beneath his trouser—oh.

Feeling your cheeks grow unbearably warm, you look back to your hand and continue the outpouring of healing aether. Absentmindedly, your thumb rubs a circle on his skin. His hips cant a tad, body rotating slightly for the sake of pressing closer. Searching unabashedly for more contact, greedily lapping up all you give him.

Your touch still, fingers briefly stiffening as you debate on where to go from here. The hackles of your nerves raise, the gears in your head grinding to a halt

“And how long does this usually take?” Ardbert sp rudely breaks you from your daze. The bed creaks and dips underneath his weight. He sits at the end on your side, gaze wobbling between the two of you… before looking away entirely. He’s clearly sheepish, and you can’t blame him.

“Might take half a bell,” you inform him crisply. “And you don’t need to dawdle here the whole time. Can you get some water for him? Maybe something for us to eat?” Hydaelyn knew they’d need to make up for all the energy they’d expended between the trek to reach their mark and the strenuous fight.

“Alright, alright,” he gives way to your nagging, pushing himself off the mattress, “You’ve made your feelings clear. I’ll go play errand boy while you patch ‘im up, but I still have some hurts I want looked at.” Fortunately, he’s at least kept his shirt on. You rather like it here and you wouldn’t want your reputation to be besmirched by your partner traipsing around bare-chested.

“...Hot cocoa,” Meteor mumbles, opening his eyes to gaze expectantly at their partner. His eyes are bleary, expression dazed. You’ve applied your aether for the purpose of healing and numbing his pain, but in the process it seems that you’ve thoroughly knocked him out. He skirts above the surface of his consciousness.

If there is anyone who could deny such a small request, it is not Ardbert. The warrior huffs a meager laugh, stepping back into his boots.

“Whatever you want. I doubt Haurchefant will need to be pressed too hard for it. The man tries to shove a tankard into my hands whenever I show up.” The door creaks on its aged hinges as he pulls it open, steps into the hall. He casts a short glance over his shoulder. “Keep an eye on him, would you?”

“You don’t have to tell me,” you reply, voice softening. Meteor’s eyes close again, his chest steadily falling and rising as the glow gradually expands to reach his wounded side. His bruised ribs have already started to heal, the ugly markings steadily fading.

The door clicks shut, casting the room in a benign darkness. The soft firelight caresses you, engulfing you in its serene warmth. Exhaustion pulls at the edges of your mind. Though not involved in the up close thick of the fight, the long trek and the expending of your aether have rendered you just as fatigued as your companions.

You can’t rest, not until both have been checked over and healed. Ardbert, while not as seriously injured as Meteor, had been wounded during the battle. It would be remiss of you to ignore that for your own sake when it was your entire job to look after him.

Thus, you stare into the green glow your hand emits and will yourself to stay awake.

[tanakavox]

Rowan and Summer meet Rosemary

A crossover done by me and @bssaz97, edited by @thatorigamiguy Thanks guys!

Zwei: ”Ah, I almost forgot to introduce you all to my partner. Come follow me and I’ll introduce you to her.”

He gestures for the twins to follow him as he begins walking in the opposite direction. The twins quickly matched his pace, a look of matching curiosity and excitement on their face at the thought of meeting Zwei’s partner.

Rowan: “Your partner? Cool! What kind of person are they? Are they nice? What kind of weapon do they use? Are they strong? Are they nice?”

Summer: “Are they a boy or girl? Have you two known each other for long? Do you two fight in a similar manner? Or do they have their own fighting style?”

Zwei couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the twins' inquisitive rambling, though it was more in fondness than exasperation. Their constant questioning reminded him of Ruby whenever she started drooling over a gun or was just excited in general about anything.

Zwei: *Internally* “Yep, they’re definitely Ruby’s children.”

Zwei’s lips twitched into a smirk at the thought, before he made to answer the twins before they could ask anymore questions.

Zwei: ”Her name is Rosemary. She’s been my best friend since we were practically toddlers. She uses an Axe that’s been modified into being a gun to compliment her semblance. No, we both have different fighting styles though they both compliment one another. She’s very strong, one of the strongest people I’ve ever known. And yes, she’s very nice. Though, she also tends to be rather mischievous when she wants to be and can be a bit of a hothead as well.

Rowan: “Really? That’s so cool! And she uses an axe too as well? That’s an excellent choice of weapon, good for powerful swings and penetrating heavy hides on Grimm. As a matter of fact, Summer is learning how to use an Axe as well, right sis?”

Rowan’s question went unheard, as Summer seemed to have been fixated on something that Zwei had mentioned when talking about his partner.

Summer: “You said she’s your best friend huh? And that you’ve known each since you were old enough to crawl?”

Rowan eyed his sister from the side, rolling his eyes as he began muttering about being so blatantly ignored.

Rowan: “Oh yeah sure, just ignore my question Sis. It’s not like I was talking to you or anything like that.”

Rowans' muttering went ignored as Summer patiently waited for an answer from Zwei. Zwei shot a curious glance over his shoulder at the question, before giving a quick shrug.

Zwei: “Maybe not that young, but we’ve known each other since we were about two or three years old.”

Summer: “Oh wow, you two have practically known each other your whole life! Sounds like they're about as close as Blaze, Joanna and Liena doesn’t it Bro?”

Rowan was still muttering to himself about being ignored, causing Summer to roll her eyes at her brothers sulking. Zwei in turn, merely ignored the two of them as he led them down the halls of Beacon to where the inner gardens were. They eventually found themselves outside and surrounded by lush greenery and plentiful flora. The cascade of vivid colors from all of the varying flowers and plantage was quite the sight to behold. Summer let out a small gasp of delight as she looked upon colorful and well maintained gardens. Even Rowan couldn’t help but gape at the mesmerizing gardens, his sulking having already been forgotten about. Zwei ignored the surrounding gardens, and instead made his way towards a lone person who was currently in the middle of watering some plants.

Upon getting closer, the person had turned out to be a woman with vibrant red hair that covered one of her violent eyes. She was dressed in gardening gear that had obviously seen a fair amount of use judging from the varying dirt and grass stains that were layered upon it, and the leather gloves and apron she wore having been warped and crimped from frequent usage. She was humming a cheerful tune to herself, when she noticed that she had company. A big smile plastered itself across her face as she quickly placed her watering can down before rushing over and immediately embracing Zwei, which he quickly returned. They held one another for a few seconds before they both separated from one another.

Rosemary: “Well, well, what brings you around my neck of the woods Z?”

Zwei’s smile quickly turned into a grimace, before letting out a groan of annoyance at Rosemary’s choice of words.

Zwei: “Ugh, really Rosie? Plant metaphors?”

Rosemary huffed in response, quickly crossing her arms as she gave Zwei a challenging look.

Rosemary: “Oh hush, you! It’s funny and you know it!”

Zwei merely gave her a deadpan look in response, clearly unimpressed with her lackluster attempt at humor.

Zwei: “Oh sure Rosie, it’s funny alright, if you have absolutely no taste in humor. But I suppose that’s what I should expect from someone that hangs around Yang all the time.”

Zwei didn’t even bother to stop the smirk that formed on his face as watched Rosemary immediately get flustered. Her face was as red as her hair, and her teeth were gritted together in anger. 

Rosemary: “Now listen here ya little mangy mutt!”

Zwei and Rosemary’s friendly greeting soon devolved into bickering between the two of them. Rowan and Summer both stood awkwardly to the side, unsure of what to do as they didn’t wish to impede upon their conversation. At least, Rowan stood there awkwardly while his sister looked upon the bickering friends with stars in her eyes.

Summer: *Internally* ‘Oh brother’s, they have it so bad for one another that it’s unreal! And she’s perfect auntie material on top of that!’

Rosemary’s tirade was cut off when she finally noticed the twins standing behind Zwei. She quickly calmed herself down, before giving the two a curious look.

Rosemary: “Never figured you to be one to willingly put up with tagalongs Zwei. Did the headmaster finally manage to get you to take on some firsties for that leadership program?”

Zwei only scoffed at her words as he rolled his eyes in annoyance of ever having to teach his younger peers anything. 

Zwei: “I’d run face first into a brick wall with my semblance active before I’d ever willingly take on a group of first years. And to make a long and complicated story short, these are Jaune and Ruby’s kids.”

Rosemary: “...Wait, wha-”

Zwei: “From another dimension.”

Rosemary was doing her best impression of a gaping fish at the total bombshell Zwei casually dropped on her, before shutting her mouth with an audible click. Her eyes were pinched shut as she found herself taking in a long, deep, breath before exhaling with obvious exasperation. Her eyes snapped open to give Zwei a tired, withering stare.

Rosemary: “Not even time and space itself prevents your family from doing anything by halves, huh Z?”

Zwei simply shrugged, before shooting Rosemary a cocky grin.

Zwei: “You’ve known me and my family long enough Rosie. Since when have we ever been one’s to let the impossible stop us from doing anything?”

Rosemary went to give Zwei a response, before once again clicking her mouth shut in frustration.

Rosemary: “I hate the fact that I can’t actually prove you wrong on that. But at this point, I shouldn’t even be surprised at something like happening, it’s not like reality hasn’t practically been shattered around us before or anything like that.”

Zwei: “Now you’re just being emotional, and besides: what’s wrong with casually breaking all known laws of science and physics every now again?”

Rosemary: “...No comment.”

Rosemary gave Zwei a blank stare as she ignored his shit eating grin, before turning to regard the twins with a warm and welcoming smile.

Rosemary: “Well with that little bit of insanity out of the way, it’s nice to meet you two! I’m Rosemary Thornbush, and you two are?”

The twins eyed each other momentarily, before they both went to introduce themselves to the older women. 

Rowan: “I’m Rowan Rose-Arc, and it’s very nice to meet you Miss Rosemary.”

Rowan gave Rosemary a small, but polite smile as he gave her a quick wave in greeting. Summer on the other hand....

Summer: “Hi, I’m Summer Rose-Arc, and I’m really happy to meet you Miss Rosemary!”

Summer had practically launched herself at Rosemary as she took one of her gloved hands in hers, practically shaking her hand at the same pace of a jackhammer on steroids. Rosemary didn’t even so much as flinch at the act, having long since been used to such hyperactive behavior from dealing with Ruby on a near daily basis. A small squeal escaped past Rosemary’s lips as she took in the sight of the precious little girl in front of her before quickly pulling her into a hug.

Rosemary: “Oh Brother’s above, you’re just an absolute doll! Oh what precious little thing you are Summer.”

Summer’s face practically beamed with joy as she preened at Rosemary’s words of praise, returning her hug was just as much enthusiasm. Rowan couldn’t help but snort at the sight of the two girls quickly getting along with one another, while Zwei quietly snickered at the sight of Rosemary acting just as her mother would in such a situation. Though she denied it, Rosemary had a tendency to smother people in a bombastic manner like her mother often tended to do, though she was a lot less open about that particular habit.

Rowan let out a curious hum as he truly took in the garden that was surrounding them. He saw various pathways all neatly trimmed and cared for, all of which were lined with various species of flora. From his observations, he honestly wouldn’t be too surprised if Beacon had a greenhouse or two as well. 

Rowan: “By the way Miss Rosemary, do you mind if I ask why there’s so much focus on tending to all of the plant life here in Beacon? Is there some kind of curriculum based around it?”

Rosemary: “First of all: Just call me Rosemary or Rosie, Rowan. I’ve never been one for formalities and I’m certainly not my mother, that’s for sure.”

Rowan's face flushed red in embarrassment before muttering out an apology, only to give his sister a dirty look when she snickered at his reaction. His face soon matched his skin when Zwei also snickered at his reaction, though he was quickly silenced by a pointed look that Rosemary shot at him.

Rosemary: “Secondly: There is a curriculum of sorts. The gardens and greenhouses of Beacon have been a staple since its founding. Apparently the original headmaster was big on preserving endangered flora and plant life that was at risk of being wiped out due to human expansion and Grimm hordes destroying the terrain during their rampages.”

Rosemary released Summer from her grip, before she walked back over to the flowers she was tending to before they had arrived. There were several flowers that were in the middle of their blooming period, still several days away from fully blooming.

Rosemary: “While it had originally started as a preservation effort, it had eventually become part of the curriculum as a set of optional classes. Specifically for training huntsmen in medicines and survival courses. Being out in the fields for extended periods of time isn’t anything unusual to a career huntsmen, but that often means being out in the wild on your own with very little in conventional medicines and foods. Which often leaves you at the mercy of mother nature, and whatever mood she’s currently feeling at the moment.

Rowan and Summer were completely enraptured by Rosemary’s impromptu lecture, practically hanging onto every world. Zwei himself was paying rapt attention to Rosemary, though it certainly wasn’t because he was interested in hearing the same lecture he’s heard a million times from both Rosemary and his step-mother. 

Rosemary: “Aura can protect and heal your wounds, but it’s still a finite resource and it can’t keep you from going hungry or prevent your wounds from becoming infected or bones from setting right. There are loads of cases of huntsmen dying due to being unfamiliar with even the most basic of medical knowledge or because they ended up poisoning themselves from eating wild plant life they didn’t know was meant for consumption. Not to say that huntsmen are dying left and right due to being ignorant of basic survival tactics, but it does make up for quite a few deaths and casualties every year. And as such, that’s why it’s been a part of the Beacon curriculum for quite sometime and even though it’s technically still considered an ‘optional,’ class.”

Rosemary emphasized the word “optional,” with a sneer and air quotes, causing the twins to giggle at and Zwei smile at her obvious feelings on the subject.

Rosemary: “It’s still heavily encouraged by most of the faculty and the current headmaster himself to take the course and to be familiar with at least the basics. The Class is currently taught under the instruction of Thumbelina Xiao-Long who, by the by, is also Beacons official doctor for the student body and my mentor. She’s a bit soft spoken, but she’s also an absolutely brilliant woman and takes her role of an instructor and healer very seriously.”

Rowan and Summer both nodded along, before Rowan piped up with another question.

Rowan: “Professor Xiao-Long is the current instructor of the class? Then I must imagine she has quite the green thumb if she’s the school's expert in medication and survival.”

Rosemary: “You would be one hundred percent correct Rowan! An astute observation on your part.”

Rosemary shot Rowan a sincere smile, causing him to blush at the sudden praise he received. He tried to ignore the snickering of Summer and Zwei, though both were quickly silenced when Rosemary gave them both another pointed look.

Rosemary: “Yes, Thumbelina does in fact have quite the green thumb and it’s practically a requirement for being able to instruct the survival class. You have to have a thorough knowledge of flora and their medicinal properties, while also being familiar with what’s edible and safe to eat versus what’s dangerous for consumption. It’s also important because you have to be familiar with various poisons and toxins that Grimm produce and that both assassins and rouge huntsmen use and how to either treat or stall their spread.”

Summer: “Wow, sounds like professor Xiao-Long is one smart cookie then!”

Rosemary: “Like I said, she’s a brilliant woman to work with, and I’ve learned a whole lot from tutoring under her.”

Rosemary went to say more, only to be abruptly interrupted by an annoyed looking Zwei.

Zwei: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, she’s such a ‘smart’ and ‘well read’ woman. Alright Rosie, this has been riveting, but are you done kissing my step-moms ass already or are you going to keep on rambling?”

Rosemary’s mouth dropped for only a second, before her cheeks flushed red with anger and she had gotten a fierce look in her eyes.

Rosemary: “Ah shut ya trap you mangy fur ball! Ya just angry that your Ma refuses to give you an easy pass in the class just because you’re family!”

Rowans and Summers' eyes widened as Rosemary went from being happy and cheerful, to having a full on Northern Vale accent. Zwei winced as her accent flared up, only to glare back at her in defiance.

Zwei: “I’m not angry at all! Ever since she took you on as an apprentice, all you ever do is go on and on about how ‘brilliant,’ and ‘passionate,’ she is!”

Rosemary: “It’s called having a healthy appreciation for someone Zwei! Sorry if that seems to upset ya for some reason, but I fail to see why ya care so much about it!”

Zwei: “Healthy appreciation, my ass! You're practically obsessed with her and all of her studies and theories, you may as well have a huge crush from how much you gush about her!”

Rosemary: “N-no I don’t! Ya just saying that because-”

Zwei and Rosemary once again broke down into bickering with one another, completely ignoring the twins once again. Rowans looked on with concern written on his face, wondering if he should say something or intervene with the fight. Summer, on the other hand, watched them with a cheshire grin planted firmly on her face. 

It was easy to see that there was little to no heat behind any of their words, even with the two of them practically shouting at one another. Secondly, Zwei had purposely goaded Rosemary into the argument, not even bothering to be subtle about it. And it was clearly obvious to Summer that Rosemary had the ability to keep a cool head and could have avoided getting into an argument with Zwei, but that she all but yanked on the obvious bait that had been laid out in front of them. All in all, they came off as an old arguing couple that were arguing for the sake of arguing rather than two people that were truly mad at one another.

Summer: *Internally* ‘Oh yeah, they definitely have it bad for one another!’

Summer snickered at the thought, before she gave a polite cough to grab the arguing pairs attention. Zwei and Rosemary were practically in each other's faces when they both froze, and looked over to see that they still had people present. Rowan had suddenly found the ground to be the most fascinating thing in the world, while Summer was trying(and failing) to hide a smug smile at their behavior.

Summer: “Do you two need a moment? I’ve been told that a lover's spat is usually dealt with in private, rather than the whole world to see.”

Summer thought she would get a further reaction out of them, only to become confused when neither Zwei or Rosemary gave each other a look, before they started laughing as if they had just heard a funny joke.

Rosemary: “Ha! Me and this guy dating? Not in a million years!”

Zwei: “Sorry to disappoint you Ruby Junior, but while we’re close we’re not that close with one another.”

The two continued to share a good laugh with one another, which only served to confuse Summer more than she already was! It was obvious they had feelings for one another! They had all of the textbook signs of being attracted to one another, how could they not see this! Summer went to call them out on this, before she was interrupted by her twin.

Rowan: “You know it’s not polite to assume they’re dating based solely off of looks alone Summer.”

Summer: “What?! But, but-!”

Rowan: “And even if they were, it’s not nice to call them out like that either. It’s rude, and you know you were taught better than that.”

Summer couldn’t do anything but openly gawk at her brother’s scolding, her mouth open and closing as she tried to(and completely failed to) formulate a response to how the situation had completely been turned against her. Not helping matters was the fact that Zwei and Rosemary were both openly snickering as Summer was being reprimanded by her brother in an eerily similar fashion to how their mother would have been scolding them.

Zwei: “Snk! Yeah Summer, it’s pretty arrogant of you to just up and assume that Rosemary and I are dating just because it looks like we’re having a lovers spat.”

Rosemary: “Pfff! Yeah hon, you shouldn’t just assume something based off of first impressions alone. That kind of attitude will just come back to bite you in the ass sooner or later.”

The pair continued to laugh as Summer’s cheeks had flushed red enough to match her namesake, before she quietly muttered out an apology while she desperately wished she could sink into the ground. Rowan kept a neutral facade, though inwardly he couldn’t help but smile as his sister was now the target of some embarrassment. After a few more teasing comments from his tour guides, Rowan had decided to end his sister's torment.

Rowan: “Okay, I think you two have gotten your kicks in and my sister has been thoroughly embarrassed enough.”

Zwei and Rosemary both quickly picked up on what Rowan was saying, and after another brief round of chuckles and one last teasing remark or two, they had both finally let up on Summer.

Rosemary: “Ah man, the look on your face was priceless! Ah, but enough of that, I think she’s not going to make any more assumptions soon, don’t you think Zwei?”

Zwei: “Mmmmh, yeah I think our would-be romantist has learned her lesson.”

Summer let out a sigh of relief, only to wince when Zwei’s eyes narrowed and he got a devious smirk on his face.

Zwei: “For now.”

Summer could only groan at the thought of future teasing, while her brother could only roll his eyes at her reaction. Doing his best to ignore his sister's despair, he addressed Rosemary yet again as a sudden thought occurred to him about something she had mentioned earlier.”

Rowan: “You mentioned that you were Professor Xiao-Long's apprentice earlier? I’d imagine that the requirements would be having an extensive knowledge of flora and medicines, as well as having a way with plants yourself?”

Rosemary: “Pretty much, though It also helps that my semblance is practically tailor made for the position.”

At the mentions of her Semblance, both siblings perked up with excitement with Summer’s previous air of misery quickly evaporating.

Rowan/Summer: “Really?!”

Rosemary: “Yes, really! Course, I had to work my butt off to still qualify for the position against several other people, but my semblance pretty much gave me an edge over all of the others.”

Zwei had let out a rather loud cough that sounded like he was saying “nepotism,” though he began coughing for real when Rosemary elbowed him in the gut. Neither of the twins chose to comment on the aforementioned moment.

Summer: “In that case, could we see your semblance Rosie?”

Rowan: “That is, if you don’t mind taking the time to show us that is.”

Summer was practically beaming in excitement at seeing a new semblance that she had never seen before. Rowan tried to keep his excitement in check by being polite, though even he couldn’t mask the enthusiasm that leaked into his tone at the thought of Rosemary giving a showing of her semblance.

Rosemary went quite as she put her hand to her chin as if to suggest that she was contemplating the twins request. Zwei scoffed at the display, though he couldn’t help but internally smile at the twins' curiosity and excitement. The yearning of wanting to learn and see new things made him think of both Ruby and Jaune, and he was slowly starting to see bits of both parents in their kids as he observed and interacted with them.

Rosemary: “Mmmmh, well… I guess I can take the time to show off a little bit. I’d be more than happy to show you two my semblance...”

The twins both beamed with excitement, before it quickly dimmed as Rosemary quickly tacked on:

Rosemary: “...After I finish the rest of my tasks around the garden. It won’t take me long, all I have to do is finish laying down some mulch and stow away my tools and gear and I’d be more than happy to show off to your heart's content.”

Rosemary couldn’t help but smirk at the sight of the twins both pouting in disappointment at having to wait to see her semblance. Zwei simply rolled his eyes at their obvious disappointment, before he decided to speak up once again.

Zwei: “Ah quit your bellyaching you two. It won’t take her long to finish up, and there’s plenty we can do to kill some time. How about I show you two around the gardens some more, then we come back here to bug Rosie some more, alright?”

The twins both muttered out words of agreement, before they both started to make their way deeper into the gardens. Zwei let them get ahead of them for a moment, before he turned to regard Rosemary with a smirk.

Zwei: “So, when did you have the girl made?”

Rosemary in turn, gave Zwei a shit eating grin back as she made to respond.

Rosemary: “As I was holding her, and she kept looking back and forth between the two of us as if she had just had an epiphany. You?”

Zwei: “She kept looking back at me with a ‘knowing,’ look when you were giving your impromptu lecture. I think she thought I was looking at you as if I was enraptured or some other sappy shit like that. Sorry about suggesting you were a kiss ass by the way, I didn’t mean any of it.”

Rosemary barked out a laugh as she waved off Zwei’s apology, showing that she wasn’t offended in the slightest.

Rosemary: “Nah, I knew you were only saying that to set the girl up. Besides, I’d know you’d never willingly talk smack to me like, especially about your Step-Mom. I couldn’t even imagine what your dad would have done to you if that were the case, and Brother’s above what your sisters would have done to you if they heard you talking about Thumb and I that way.”

Zwei physically flinched at the thought, before mentally locking that nightmare scenario away with all of his other repressed memories. 

Zwei: “Yeah, best not to think about the results from that hypothetical situation. Still, it was fun to mess around with her like that. Those two may be from another dimension, but they’re definitely Jaune’s and Ruby’s kids, and just as fun to mess around with.”

Rosemary: “Mmm, be that as it may, do remember that your sister and brother in law got you just as often as you did them, and I doubt their children are no different. So try not to mess around with them too much Zwei, lest you find yourself being played at your own game.”

Zwei went to argue against her warning, only to pause as he truly thought it over. After a moment of contemplation, swore under his breath as he realized that Rosemary was right.

Zwei: “...They’re probably going to get me back at some point for all of this, aren’t they?”

Rosemary only smiled at Zwei’s Rhetorical question, before giving him a quick pat on the cheek as she walked the other way, grabbing her water can along the way.

Rosemary: “Give me about thirty minutes or so, and I’ll be available for the rest of the day. In the meantime, you should probably catch up with your strays before they end up causing chaos like they’re probably prone to do.”

Zwei stared at the retreating form of Rosemary’s back, before letting out a sigh as he began  walking in the direction that the twins wandered off to, grumbling to himself the whole time.

[pucksnsticksnhockeyboys]

neighbors

request: Can you do 14 with Tyson Jost?

prompt: “We're not just friends and you fucking know it.” / number 14 off of this list with Tyson Jost.

summary: It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that you would fall for your adorable neighbor Tyson.

warnings: mentions of alcohol, swearing

word count: 1.9k

You didn't exactly plan on crushing on your neighbor, nor did you plan on having him over for dinner three nights a week. Shortly after moving in, though, you realized the cute brunette who lived in the apartment next door had limited survival skills. 

Tyson Jost may be a professional athlete, but he had next to zero domestic capabilities and you had found that out one day, completely by chance. You were upset after having been bailed on this guy you were seeing on and off, and after receiving a text from him that he was getting back with his ex, and that whatever was going on between the two of you was over. You wouldn't have been so furious if he hadn’t asked to you cook dinner for him before dropping the bombshell. 

You turned off the stove and were about to head to the store to pick up a much needed bottle of wine when you heard your neighbor bickering with his friend outside their door. You weren’t completely dumb, you recognized them as Tyson Jost and JT Compher from Denver’s very own Colorado Avalanche. 

“You’re not cooking, Josty. I’d rather not get food poisoning.” The redhead teased as they stood outside Tyson’s door. They were debating on where to go and you couldn’t help but overhear as you dug around in your bag to try and find you keys in order to lock your door. 

“I really don’t want to go out, though.” Tyson explained, and you suddenly felt braver than you usually did. You figured your boost of confidence was due to annoyance for being bailed on and played. 

“I, uh, have a whole meal cooked if you guys want to come over?” You offered, both men snapping their heads to you. You felt your cheeks heat up, but then a wide smile broke out across Tyson’s face. You were a little consoled by the fact that his face turned a little red too. 

“Are you sure? We don’t want to intrude?” JT spoke first, gesturing between himself and Tyson, the latter of which who hadn't stopped smiling at you.  “Trust me, no one’s showing up to intrude on.” You replied, a little sad but mostly upset and JT nodded at you with a comforting smile on his face. Tyson must not have understood what you meant, because he was looking between his teammate and his neighbor, trying to figure out what he could’ve missed. 

“Do you want us to bring anything?” Tyson gave up on trying to silently ask JT to catch him up, instead turning to you and gesturing with his thumb into his own apartment. 

“Just a bottle of wine.” You grinned, leaning against the frame of your door and watching as the two boys chuckled.  “Unless you don’t like chicken and veggies, I’ve got everything.” 

“I’m Tyson, by the way.” He introduced himself, walking closer to you as JT slipped back into his teammate’s apartment, muttering that he wanted to pick the wine. 

“I know.” You told Tyson, entering back into your apartment and moving back into the kitchen, the food you had abandoned on the counter still warm. You turned back to find Tyson leaning against the counter, taking in the room and cataloging how different the way you decorated was to his apartment. “Kind of a big hockey fan.”

It was then that Tyson’s attention returned to you, and with a smile he watched as you stood on your tip-toes to reach the wine glasses, you giving him your name as casually as you could with someone as attractive as him studying you. You heard him chuckle behind you, crossing the small kitchen easily to grab three glasses for you.

“You should probably put these on the lower shelf.” Tyson teased, and you rolled your eyes. 

“We can’t all be six feet tall and a professional athlete.” You teased back, feeling a lot less upset than you should for someone who just found out they’d been strung along for the better part of two months. 

“Well, I’ll try to use my advantages for good.” Tyson teased, and before you could respond with something witty, and maybe even a little flirty, JT knocked on you front which you had left open for him. You were glad he announced his arrival, you didn’t want him walking in and embarrassing yourself by him possibly overhearing your banter. 

Two months later and you still hadn’t moved the wine glasses to a lower shelf. But, turns out, it didn’t matter much, because on most nights when you wanted to break out the wine, you were accompanied by your new best friend and neighbor, Tyson Jost.

Of course, with his crazy hockey schedule, he wasn’t always there, but he was at your place enough and you had developed a crush on him. It felt practically inevitable, with how attractive he was and his sheer adorableness. He would say things that were pretty oblivious, and sometimes downright dumb, but it was endearing and you quickly found yourself swooning. 

“Tys, what are you doing?” You questioned, somewhat serious though thoroughly amused. He had been clattering in your kitchen for the past fifteen minutes, saying that he wanted to cook you dinner in return for feeding him so often and that you had to stay in the living room so you wouldn’t ruin the surprise. You question was met with the crash of pots and pans, and you heard Tyson swear lowly.

“Uh, cooking?” He sounded so unsure of himself, and probably due to good reason, that you laughed loudly at him. You paused the show you were watching, walking to your kitchen but before you could enter the room, he heard you footsteps and yelled for you to stay out. “I want it to be a surprise when I’m done.” You could hear the pout in his voice, and a smile tugged the corner of your lips upwards.

“Well, I don’t trust you to be in the kitchen alone.” You stood just outside kitchen, complying with his wishes but voicing your thoughts. 

“Don’t worry, I’m helping him.” A female voice called from your kitchen, and you furrowed your brows tightly, wondering just when someone else had shown up and how they had managed to sneak past you into the kitchen. Then you placed the voice as someone you had met a few times through Tyson. Mel Landeskog, the wife of his captain. The swell of jealously that grew in your chest at the thought of someone else being with Tyson turned into warmth that he had called his captain's wife for cooking tips.

You pointedly ignored the fact that you momentarily turned green with jealousy. 

“Hi, Mel.” You chuckled, hearing her laugh in response. “Just make sure he doesn’t burn my apartment down, please.” With a laugh she promised to keep your kitchen safe and told you that she was making sure whatever food Tyson made was edible, to which he protested indignantly.

Laughing in amusement, you returned to your spot on the couch to let him finish cooking and left you to analyze your whole situation with the professional hockey player cooking you dinner. You knew things had always been a little bit flirty with him, but he had never done anything past a few compliments followed by him blushing profusely. 

By the time that he had told you everything was set up for you in the kitchen, your thoughts had spiraled into overanalyzing every interaction you’ve ever had with him. He met you in the doorway of the kitchen, his large frame blocking your view from whatever he had done on the other side. 

Your heart was thundering in your chest as you took in his appearance. He was dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a comfortable sweater with the sleeves pushed up. To make the whole scenario more domestic, he had a dish towel tossed over his shoulder. He was smiling widely at you, nervously wringing his hands in front of him. 

“Close your eyes, and then I'm going to lead you into the kitchen.” There was a nervous edge to his voice that didn’t help calm you. When you nodded and closed your eyes, Tyson moved from the doorway to stand beside you, placing his hand over your eyes. “Just to make sure you're not peaking.” 

“You make me nervous.” You sighed, ignoring the flutter in your stomach at his touch. His other hand fell to the small of your back to help lead you around, and as soon as you entered the kitchen you were met with the smell of pasta that drew a soft smile onto your face. He only moved you a few feet into the so soon enough he was stopping you. 

“Okay, so before you open you eyes, just know that I totally plan on doing the dishes later.” He explained, and though the comment drew a breathy chuckle out of you, it did nothing to soothe the fear that some drastic change was about to happen between you and Tyson. The air was charged with an almost unreadable energy, and all you could do was nod at him. 

Tyson removed his hand from its place covering your eyes and when you took in the sight before you, you felt your jaw drop. He had set your kitchen table with plates of spaghetti and your favorite roasted vegetables, a meal easy enough that he wouldn't screw it up, especially with Mel’s help. A couple candles were lit on the table and counters, and he had even gone as far setting up a bouquet of flowers next to a bottle of champagne. 

“I know that this is a lot, considering we’re just friends...” Tyson trailed off and you shook your head, dismissing any negative thoughts he might've formed about your silence. Your thoughts were racing a thousand miles a minute as your heart thundered in your chest. “If it's too much, then I can just go—”

“We're not just friends and you fucking know it.” You cut him off, knowing that if you didn't get it off your chest now you never would. You spun slightly, turning away from the table and towards him, who had been shuffling nervously on his feet behind you trying to gauge your reaction. He was looking at you with a confused look on his face, but it was obvious that he had been blushing profusely. “Tyson, we’re not just friends.”

“Yeah, we’re not.” He agreed, smiling dumbly. The overwhelmed look on your face morphed into a grin as you realized your bold statement had been just as true for him as it was for you. “Friends don’t do all this, I guess.” He gestured to the table and you laughed.

“No, they don’t.” You agreed, your voice barely above a whisper. You couldn't hold yourself back anymore, not when he was standing in the candlelight, surrounded by the smell of good food and looking so domestic. 

You launched yourself at him, cupping his cheeks in your hands and pulling him down slightly to meet you halfway as you pushed yourself up onto your tippy toes to crash your lips onto his. He leaned down after you, not keen on breaking the kiss so soon as you balanced yourself back on your feet. His hands settled on your waist, and even when you pulled back for air he didn't remove them. Still, he was smiling at you with his adorable grin and even when you spoke next and your cheeks hurt from your own grin your voice was still hushed.

“C’mon, Tys, let’s see if you’re as bad a cook as JT says.”

[capn-charlie]

random writings: “Just a Taste of Being Human" ➜ Supercorp

Scenario: My angsty spin on the inevitable Lena vs. Kara confrontation regarding the reveal of 4x22.

Once is an occasion, twice is a coincidence, but three times is deliberate.

That’s what Kara has been telling herself for the past day and a half, at least. That’s what she’s been rambling off to herself, over and over. It’s what she’s been reciting while attempting to process when or how Lena could’ve figured it out, or who could’ve told her, or if she just wasn’t as careful as she figured she was. Moreover, she’s trying to give the universe the benefit of the doubt; there’s no way Lena could’ve found out such a gargantuan secret with little to no evidence, right? There’s no way that ━ if someone told her ━ she’d believe them, right? There’s no way that the world is spiteful enough to let someone else tell her that kind of secret.

Right?

The valid fear all started the second time she had déjà vu while holding a friendly conversation with the dark-haired woman. It was random, starting from a comment she’d heard escape those reddened lips merely hours beforehand, the first time wearing a plain cardigan and the glasses she’s come to call her normal:

“You got bangs? They look adorable on you,” Lena complimented with a grin teasing her lips.

That casual banter soon turned into something different, hours later, when it was then directed at Supergirl. Something odd, and suspicious to the blonde who’d landed on the woman’s balcony for a quick chat.

“Oh, you got bangs,” there was a shade of misplaced intrigue in her smile. “They look adorable on you,” she said again, matter-of-factly, baiting her friend ━ though Kara made sure to react differently.

“Yeah, they’re taking some time getting used to, but I figured…” during the pause, she breathed out, “it’s always nice to get away from the old.”

“Mm,” Lena raised her eyebrows, readying the comment that would thus floor Kara and leave her with parted lips, scrambling for an excuse. “It’s funny. My good friend━Kara Danvers━just got the same hairstyle. Pretty much on the same day, too.”

In that instance, Kara was able to play it off. She was able to laugh quietly, remarking that it’s a silly coincidence ━ though she wasn’t sure if she was more so convincing herself of the ludicrous rebuttal, or Lena.

But, by the third time her best friend found a way to parallel conversations between Kara and Supergirl, she knew it wasn’t déjà vu; it was more along the lines of being an identical, second-rounded conversation that initially took place between Lena and Kara, carried over to when Supergirl bumped into her again. They were hints, she assumed, and Lena was waiting for her to understand the riddles. At the same time, a slight spark of anger within the blonde wondered if she was being toyed with. Presumably speaking, if Lena has known, that means she’s been tip-toeing around the subject while poking at her prey. That’s no better than a screaming match.

Blue eyes spot Lena’s office door at the end of the chic hallway. Sealing her lips, she counts her steps until she’ll be asking her best friend what gives. Until she’ll be asking her what she knows, or if she knows anything. On the other hand, how the hell is she supposed to start a conversation without revealing something that she’s not sure Lena already knows?

“Hey, I was wondering if you knew I was Supergirl or not.”

Uh, no.

Her pointer finger reaches up to push her glasses further up the bridge of her nose. One of her most infamous, self-distractions that has never exactly worked. Nowadays, it’s more of a habit than anything.

A following breath is taken, right before her knuckles come up to knock. She doesn’t wait to be given the green light. That’s just their thing, by now.

“Kara,” her gaze raises to her guest, flashing a half-smile that’s dimmed little by little for days ━ something else that Kara isn’t fond of.

“Paperwork day?” she notes the millions of sheets scattered amongst her desktop.

She sighs, “Every day is paperwork day. You know that.”

No response. Instead, Kara nods while her eyes bounce along the glass windows behind Lena. Noting their clean state, how the sunshine streams through them without stoppage. Her stare is a last-ditch attempt at figuring out what to concentrate on in hopes of keeping her nerves at bay. It doesn’t work.

“Are you… here for a reason?” Lena breaks her out of her clawed-together trance.

“Um, kind of,” her nails raise to rub the back of her neck, then she purses her lips.

“You have my attention.”

There’s something in the way that Lena says it… there’s something off about it. Like she’d been waiting for this moment, or anticipating a certain confrontation that this may or may not turn into.

Crap.

“Okay…” Kara exhales, keeping her distance. “I’m going to ask you something, and… I’d like you to be honest with me,” she speaks cautiously, deliberately, as if not to spook a frightened animal.

Except, in this case, it’s the raven-haired woman slouched in her desk chair that she’s trying not to scare away. And, if you were to ask Kara, she’s the one who’s feeling most apprehensive about the approaching conversation. So much so, she’s still not sure how she’s even going to broach the subject ━ or if she will. It all depends on Lena’s answer, and that’s a fearful unknown in itself.

At her friend’s careful nature ━ even the fact that her footsteps are slow, and her hands are stiff at her sides like boards ━ Lena’s breaths turn shallow. Actually, it’s mainly at the idea that she’s supposed to be honest with Kara when, realistically, it’s the other woman who’s been keeping secrets. The epitome of secrets, to be frank.

Her lips seal. A way of stifling the ongoing, twisted smile that’s a result of what she knows but has yet to reveal.

“Go ahead.”

The blonde takes a breath, psyching herself up to beg the question:

“Are you hiding anything from me?”

Unlike before, Lena can’t stop the snicker that exits her nostrils. It’s subtle enough to pass off as a simple breath, luckily.

“Like what?”

Her friend’s eyes narrow.

“You tell me.”

Lena’s jaw shifts. That’s her first reaction, only. The next is to get out of her chair so she can stand. So she can be face to face with Kara. Eye-level, and somewhat causing the conversation to take a personal turn. Because, after all, this is personal, and Lena isn’t sure she’d be able to get through the topic while so-casually swirling in her chair. Currently, she just feels overall uncomfortable. Caged, somewhat. Cornered, though she’s supposed to be doing the cornering.

Her arms cross in front of her, being an age-old defense mechanism.

“How about I ask you something,” the proposal is set as her chin lifts a fraction, jaw steely as she braces for what she’s about to say. “Are you hiding anything from me, Supergirl?”

She witnesses her friend’s posture stiffen. Tightening to the fullest while standing, and it looks almost like she’s been blown a step backwards. Lena notes every reaction from Kara. The twitch of her eye, the crinkle of her nose, the minute part of her lips. The telltale sign of being taken aback by something, or blindsided. After that, she waits for the formulating response ━ even denial. God, she hopes Kara doesn’t try to deny it. Not anymore.

“I…” the lone word is all she gets.

Lena’s arms tighten atop her chest, quirking an eyebrow when nothing else comes. And, truthfully, she knows she looks too smug considering how big of a bombshell this is. She knows she appears like a know-it-all, like she’s accusing Kara of something spectacular without letting her get a word in edgewise. However, it’s on the contrary. Lena wishes her friend would explain herself. She wishes Kara would tell her it’s not true ━ and mean it ━ but that’s just not realistic. At the end of the day, Lena knows her brother was sincere to his filthy word regarding Kara’s identity ━ Supergirl’s identity? ━ and she’d rather the other woman come clean, right here and now.

“Wait,” Kara pieces things together at Lena’s unwavering, pointed expression with her eyes narrowing in mutual suspicion, “you’ve━you’ve known?”

There’s a pause, followed by a hushed, upset tone filling swirling through the thick air.

“You’ve been pretending━?”

Lena actually barks out a laugh at the irony. It prematurely ends Kara’s question, as Lena’s arms slump by her sides for a moment. When they cross again, her eyes widen with a sick smile across her face.

“Oh, you have no right in lecturing me about pretending.”

“Two wrongs don’t make a right, Lena.”

Her face drops when her dumbfoundedness furthers.

“Are you hearing yourself right now?” the same, incredulous grin stays on her face as she begs the question. “Please tell me you’re not truly believing you’re the victim in all of this.”

Across the room, her friend swallows thickly as her gaze flickers away. She knows that she cannot stare Lena in those devastated, green eyes and ━ with good conscience ━ claim that they’re both the victims. She knows that it’s not fair to Lena, and it hasn’t been, all along. On the other hand, the other woman’s discontent doesn’t prove a worthy cause to pull some kind of twisted joke on her, just for the hell of it. If Lena already knew, she should’ve said something. She should’ve spoken up, or even interrogated her. Anything.

Instead, she merely toyed with Kara. She batted her back and forth, putting on a disguise of naivety that even someone as otherworldly as the mighty Supergirl couldn’t pick up on.

“If you knew I was Supergirl, why didn’t you confront me about it? Why play games?”

“That wouldn’t have changed a goddamn thing!” her voice raises, one corner of her lips twitching in awe during her brief hesitation. “You had to have known this would still be the outcome of keeping your secret. We’d still be having this discussion, one way or another.”

“Not like this,” the other woman pleads, almost whining. “Not like this,” she whispers, taking her glasses off.

The action makes Lena shift her jaw another time. Her eyes tactfully scan her friend’s face, noting the similarities that she’s missed time and time again. It’s all so humorous, she thinks. How could one possibly not notice, after staring at the same pair of faces for the longest of moments? After sketching out every shallow divot and scar along their complexions? After noting their features, so close to the point of memorizing them so they’d never escape her recollections? “Just in case,” she’d tell herself. With her studies, with the amount of hostility she’s felt directed at her in recent years or throughout her existence… one never knows what’s around the corner. Hell, she’s oftentimes welcomed that unknown. It keeps her on her toes, keeps her busy.

In retrospect, sometimes that “unknown” bites you in the ass. Sometimes that unknown comes in the form of your best friend and savior turning out to be the same person. And while that could be considered a good thing, the deception does the reveal no favors. The way Kara keeps looking at her with those sad, puppy-dog eyes makes it even worse. Especially as Lena knows that her go-to pout ━ the expression that usually makes her crumble through the blonde’s fingers ━ won’t work. They’re in too deep.

“I know I hurt you,” Kara speaks carefully, “but that doesn’t give you the right to━”

“You don’t know the half of what you’ve done, Kara,” a sad glint appears in Lena’s eyes, nearly evoking a blue tint from their emerald. “If you want admission, you can have it: I’ve known for months. I’ve known since the moment before Lex took his final breath,” she explains, not hiding her hurt. “I’ve sat around with you, and I’ve shared drinks, stories, played games like we always do…”

Kara looks away, not being able to bear the sight of Lena’s heartbreak any longer.

“I’ve pretended that I’ve trusted you as my best friend━again and again━like I’ve always done,” a beat. “And why’s that?”

No response. She wasn’t looking for one, anyway.

“Because I thought that maybe━just maybe━it was a lie,” the whisper is fractured, inviting tears into her eyes. “An awful, departing gift from my own brother that turned my world upside down, like he often attempted. I thought he’d been the one pretending, just to get a rise out of his sister before his frigid heart stopped beating,” her teeth pinch together, letting out a dark laugh. “So, I walked away from him with the same denial he had accused me of. The same… foolery.”

Still, across from her, Kara listens while feeling her heart shaking within her chest. A sad result of watching Lena crumble, right before her eyes. Those tears streaming down her cheeks one after another as she doesn’t even try to stop them, Kara having to bear witness against her own security. How she wishes she could step forward and promise Lena that she’s always wanted to tell her. That she’s always wanted to keep her in the loop.

Even Kara knows that’d be another lie.

“In time, I realized that he was right. Not only had my best friend been lying to me about something so massive, so immaculate that I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around, but every other person I’d looked at as if they’re my own blood has been pulling the wool over my eyes, too,” it grows quiet, her gaze boring into the floor while her features become sharper. “Y’know, it’s funny…” she pauses, looking at Kara again, “I’d always sit at my desk, or go home and unwind… thinking about how fortunate I’ve been to have finally found a family. This scattered, group of people who’ve become my world. You, at the forefront of it.”

Silence.

“I suppose I was a fool to think that, as well.”

“We are your family, Lena. This doesn’t change that,” Kara argues.

“It changes everything,” the whisper is dark. “While I’ve trusted you with my life, my family’s history and the fucked-up nature of why I am who I am, you’ve done nothing but spit in my face. Strutting around, claiming I’m not like every other Luthor that’s come into the world, yet quietly acting as if I’m just the same, toxic sludge. That’s the opposite of being a best friend. You haven’t given back an ounce of the trust I’ve given to you. No one has.”

By now, her few tears have turned into infinite rivers, leaking from her eyes freely. Still, she doesn’t bother stopping them. She doesn’t blink them away, or attempt to hide their existence. She doesn’t even sniffle, or wipe them from her face to pretend that she’s above this conversation. Ultimately, it’s a sign that ━ after everything ━ perhaps she’s beyond saving by simple words and apologies. Although Kara would naturally attend to optimism or hope that things aren’t as bad as they seem, she knows the only fool in this room would be her to believe as such.

Maybe this time she’s fucked up one too many times with Lena. Maybe she should’ve taken another course of action. She should’ve tried harder. She should’ve invested in advice from Alex more frequently. Surely she would’ve proposed the idea of telling Lena. Coming from her sister, it would’ve been a little more easy to follow. It would’ve seemed like the obvious thing to do. The only thing to do, actually. Then again, Alex never suggested it. If she thought telling Lena ━ straight up ━ was the best case scenario, she would’ve said so, right?

No matter what, it’d be wrong of her to put the blame on anyone. Lena may have her grievances with the others for likewise hiding it from her, but she’s positive that they’ve only ever kept it because it wasn’t their secret to tell. They have a fall-back, a genuine excuse.

Kara? She doesn’t.

There is no excuse for lying to Lena for so long, and she knows it. Looking back, it just seems way more clear than it did, in the moment. For so long, she’s claimed that her secret protects those she’s close to, but look at what happens day in and day out: Alex fights alongside her, James gets shot, Nia and Brainy are included in the fray, and the list goes on. No one is ever safe, anyway. Lena, herself, has even fallen victim to the most lucrative plots and dangerous tasks, like having Eve as a spying assistant for months upon months. Her mother is a criminal, her brother was one in the same.

So, what was the protection against? What was this hoax supposed to do? Obviously it wasn’t to keep Lena safe, or to keep her true identity a secret. Here, she just starts to realize it.

“I didn’t keep my identity from you because I don’t trust you,” Kara treads carefully, getting a cold look from her friend. “It’s just━I don’t know,” she huffs, borderline groaning at herself. “For so long, you’ve been the one person in my life who didn’t know.”

Despite her attempt of implying something else, Lena raises her eyebrows and looks away.

“How fortunate of me,” the sarcasm is pronounced. “Here I was, looking at it all wrong. Shame on me.”

Kara bows her head, licking her lips in thought.

“As a journalist, I’ve learned that there’s always more than one side to a story,” her gaze lifts to meet Lena’s, the woman appearing emotionless. “For the amount that I possibly can understand, I know that I’ve hurt you,” her voice is low. “I know that━maybe━our friendship is beyond repairing,” similar tears spring into her eyes when she shrugs. “But I also know that I was selfish to not tell you, even if it didn’t have to do with trust.”

She puts her glasses back on, taking a deep breath. She wants to be authentic Kara for this part of the conversation, she decides.

“I didn’t want to tell you because… you’re the only person who could look at me━Kara━like I’m a hero, even without knowing that beneath this shirt is a suit that the world associates with those heroics. Alex, J’onn, Winn, James…” she lists, shoulders slumping. “They say Kara Danvers is their hero, but it’s never without knowing what I’m capable of. People know Supergirl is a hero. My friends know she’s a hero. Hell, even I know she’s a hero.”

Lena rolls her tongue behind her teeth, listening.

“You’re the only person who was able to tell me that Kara Danvers is her hero without me feeling like there’s a freaking asterisk next to the claim,” she sounds let down, bowing her head. “Like it’d have a footnote saying, ‘...but Supergirl is pretty cool, too.’ Before you knew, her and I were two different people. To you, I was just… Kara. I was your Kara.”

There’s a tiny smile on her face, attempting to get her friend to understand.

“I loved being your Kara,” it’s murmured, hopeful. “I still am, but now… I…” her sentence stops, trailing off.

“No side of you would’ve ever taken away from the fact that you’re the person I’ve poured my heart and soul out to since we’ve met,” two tears drip down Lena’s cheek, being stray reminders of her swollen heart. “A building being renovated doesn’t mean you destroy the foundation you built it on,” she tries the analogy, swallowing through her tightened throat. “A relationship is no different. If you told me the truth, I still would’ve found solace in Kara. She’s who I met first on a personal basis, wasn’t she? She’s who I confided in, and trusted.”

Kara nearly winces at the use of past tense. She keeps the reaction to herself.

“I am trying to understand your reasoning, I am…” Lena rasps out, staring off to the side, “but I don’t think I’ll be able to look at you the same, after this. Not because of who I know you are, but because of what I know you’ve done. How you’ve lied, and you’ve kept a smile on your face while you did it. You’ve held me in your arms, protected me, allowed me to be vulnerable for once in my life… yet it’s been through deception. How am I supposed to get past that?”

For once, Kara can’t find the words, or an excuse, or a reason. She can’t figure out what to say to ease the pain. Something tells her that Lena doesn’t want her to, either.

“I don’t know,” it’s muttered beneath her breath, eyes lowering to the floor. “I… don’t know,” she repeats.

When they next make eye contact, there’s deafening silence flowing into the room like a dam’s broken through the larger-than-life windows. It engulfs them. It holds them captive within the waves, searing through their limbs and stinging their ears like they’ll pass out from the overwhelming quietude. Part of Kara wishes she would pass out, just to escape the conversation and pretend it never happened. But, when she woke up, she’d know it’s real. She’d be reminded of the massive fuck-up, and she wouldn’t be able to change it.

Her eyes follow Lena’s, the timid glances becoming a sort of dance between them.

“I’m sorry, Lena,” her lower lip quivers. “I am so sorry.”

The other woman swallows the lump in her throat, giving the universe a sad smile before it drops again. More tears appear in her eyes, nodding at Kara.

“Me too.”

For what, Kara isn’t sure.

[lifeofyellowpearl]

Yellow Pearl Reminisces Pt. 1

I remember when I first saw Pink Diamond. It was during a galactic summit, the very first summit that Pink Diamond would be attending. It was also the first time that anyone would be introducing her. I was tasked with carrying out her introduction along with Blue Diamond’s Pearl, 1XK. K and I were in our designated antechamber, awaiting our cue to introduce the diamonds. We had just finished rehearsing Pink’s introduction for the twelfth time – at my behest. Perhaps it was overkill, but I wanted to be sure that we got it just right. It felt right, it sounded right, and yet, for some reason, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t good enough. I was pacing back and forth almost obsessively mulling over it, trying to figure what it was that we could be doing wrong – or to be more accurate, what I could be doing wrong.

“Would it help if we went over it again?” I stopped and turned to K who was standing by the warp pad.

“Maybe…I don’t know.” I slumped to the floor and hugged my knees, “No, I don’t suppose it would.” K walked up and sat down next to me. “It’s just, I really want this to be perfect.”

K placed a hand on my shoulder, “I know. I get it.” I was grateful to hear her say that. K seems to be the only pearl who really does get me. Most other pearls would have screamed at me after the third rehearsal, but K was willing to indulge me.

“Thank you,” I said. I could never express how grateful I am to have her as a friend. “Anyway, I’m sure it’s fine. I guess I’m concerned because I know how important this is to My Diamond. I know that she cares about Pink Diamond a great deal and I know that she’d want her first introduction to be flawless.”

“I know what you mean,” said K, “Blue Diamond raves about Pink almost nonstop. She’s very excited for Pink to be attending her very first summit. I’m sure Yellow Diamond would be glad to see you putting in so much effort.”

I shifted uncomfortably, I’ve always been weird about compliments. “It’s nothing special, really. I’m just doing my due diligence as My Diamond’s pearl. But…thanks.”

A familiar tone sounded off over the intercom and the lights began to flicker, signaling that we were about to be called out. K and I stood on the warp pad and got into position. In a flash, we were off.

We were teleported to the auditorium. It was pitch-black save for two spotlights; the bright yellow one that was on me and the blue one that was on 1XK who was there next to me.

First, I said my part with my usual flair, “All rise for the luminous Yellow Diamond...!”

And K said hers with her typical air of differential reserve, “The illustrious Blue Diamond…”

Then, as we rehearsed, we gestured behind ourselves and finished in unison, “And the brilliant Pink Diamond!”

In a flash of light, the three diamonds appeared on the warp pad behind us, each striking a regal pose. Right in between our diamonds was Pink Diamond. I knew that she was smaller than the other diamonds but I was still caught off guard by her stature. She was almost as short as me! As the diamonds made their way to their thrones, I noticed Pink looking up at Blue with anticipation. Blue, noticing Pink, smiled and gave her a subtle nod of approval. Pink Diamond beamed and gaily strode to her throne, right between My Diamond and Blue. I looked at her quizzically. This gem, I thought, is she really a diamond? I almost slapped myself for questioning the legitimacy of a diamond’s position.

Once K and I made our way to our respective podiums, we got a full view of the auditorium. It was a magnificent piece of architecture. The auditorium was massive. It seated over 300 and each seat was filled. The walls were lined with decorative pillars that were adorned with glowing glyphs. The ceiling boasted a mural that was painted into four quadrants. The quadrant directly over us contained the image of White Diamond. Her arms were spread out as she stood among several planets and stars, as though she were exerting her dominion over the entire galaxy. The left quadrant contained the image of My Diamond and the right of Blue Diamond. The two diamonds shared a similar stance, each standing with one arm extended as ships and colonies literally poured from their fingertips. To the casual observer, this appeared to be a testament to the might of the diamonds and the work they do to establish new colonies and expand the empire.  However, if one looked closely, one could see that the whole mural was a testament to no one other than White Diamond. In reality, My Diamond and Blue Diamond were gesturing towards White. The ships and colonies that were emanating from their fingertips were pouring into White’s quadrant, adding to the collection of celestial bodies that already surrounded her. This detail was not lost on My Diamond, who would often look up at the mural with contempt. The last quadrant was blank, this was reserved for Pink Diamond. I noticed Pink staring up at the mural with a look of longing determination, her eyes fixed on the quadrant that would soon be hers.

The audience was comprised of jadeites, all of whom were saluting the diamonds. Once the diamonds were seated, they were seated too. These jadeites serve as the viceroys that preside over the galactic sectors. Each sector can contain as few as twenty colonies or as many as two hundred. Needless to say, these galactic summits are a big deal.

The meeting went on. As always, K was sketching the whole thing while I recorded the minutes. Pink would periodically fidget in her seat and Blue would need to signal her to settle down. Not exactly conduct becoming of a diamond, I thought to myself. No! what are you doing?? You shouldn’t think that way about a diamond, you stupid clod!  As I struggled to dampen any disrespectful thoughts I had, a jadeite stood and saluted the diamonds proper, “My Diamonds, Jadeite Facet 3H8U Cabochon 106, Viceroy of sector H8. If I may, I would like to discuss the…issue that I brought up six decimal months earlier.”

My Diamond narrowed her eyes at the Jadeite, “Ah yes, I remember you mentioning something about possible cases of underreporting. I also remember you citing that as a potential reason for a two percent decrease in productivity, essentially deflecting blame to your inferiors.”

106 timidified ever so slightly as she sensed My Diamond’s ire, “It’s not that I’m deflecting blame per se,” the viceroy stammered, “It’s just that current data suggests that gems in my sector may not be reporting certain issues to me as often as they should. I want to fix any and all problems that go on but if I’m not made aware of the things that happen – “

“Enough,” My Diamond interrupted, “Do you honestly expect me to believe that elite gems all throughout H8 have been intentionally covering up the infractions of their inferiors? To what end?”

“Well obviously it’s because they’re afraid.” a voice called out. Everyone turned to Pink Diamond, who, up until now, had been silent throughout the meeting.

“Pink Diamond, please,” My Diamond said, “You’re only here to observe.”

“Hold on Yellow,” said Blue Diamond, clearly proud of Pink for wanting to participate, “Let’s hear what she has to say.” My Diamond began to protest but then rolled her eyes and silently acquiesced. Blue then turned to Pink and motioned towards the audience, “Go ahead Pink.” Pink smiled at Blue and leaped out of her seat.  

Pink stood with arms akimbo and her chest puffed out. In an almost histrionic display, Pink pointed at 106, “You there,” Pink was trying hard to sound authoritative, but she just came off sounding stagy. It was all I could do to keep myself from laughing. Don’t laugh, you stupid worthless idiot! That’s a diamond for heaven’s sake!

“You mentioned that gems in your sector have been hiding things from you?” Pink continued, “Well you’re right, they have! And it’s not just your sector either. It’s going on in hers and hers and hers. Well, pretty much everyone’s.” Silence. Everyone was stunned at what this diamond had just said. Pink didn’t realize it, but she had dropped a bombshell; one that placed the jadeites in a very uncomfortable position.  One by one, the jadeites turned to 106. In a sense, 106 had just been vindicated by Pink but now someone needed to follow up. Someone needed to question Pink Diamond and 106 was making it perfectly clear that she would not be that someone.

After a few more seconds, another jadeite stood and saluted “My Diamond, Jadeite Facet 3T9Y Cabochon 54, Viceroy of sector T9 and sub viceroy of sector T8.” You could hear the reluctance in 54’s voice. She really did not want to be the one to question the word of diamond, “With all due respect, My Wonderful, Amazing, Illustrious Diamond, how do you know this?”

Pink Diamond, still oblivious to the tone of the room, proudly stated, “I’ve spoken to gems in your sectors and that’s basically what they told me.” More silence. And again, someone was tasked with questioning this diamond’s judgment. 54 turned to the jadeite to her right and audibly cleared her throat. The annoyed jadeite turned to 54 and shot her a glare.

Though disinclined, the jadeite stood, shot one more glare in 54’s direction and saluted, “My Diamond…Jadeite facet 7T8U Cabochon 75, Viceroy of sector T8.” 75 paused and muttered something under her breath. I wasn’t certain, but it sounded like something along the lines of ‘Goddamn you 54.’ “Not that I’m questioning your initiative, my brilliant diamond, it’s just that…I’m not sure if we were made aware of any surveys that you were conducting in our sectors.”

“I most certainly wasn’t made aware.” My Diamond said. The elder diamonds were both visibly concerned at what Pink was saying.

“Well I didn’t conduct any official survey,” Pink replied, “I just sorta asked.” Again, there was silence but this time it was more of confusion as no one was quite sure what Pink Diamond meant.  

“Oh, my stars.” Blue Diamond said, “Do you mean were fraternizing?”

“Oh yeah! I guess I was fraternizing.” The jadeites were all struggling to mask their true feelings at this point, as was I. I tried as hard as I could to push down any critical thoughts that I may have had towards this diamond, but I just couldn’t and I hated myself for that.

I was expecting My Diamond to say something, but she was so dumbstruck that she couldn’t even find the words.

Blue Diamond placed a hand over her face, “Oh Pink…”

Pink Diamond, ever oblivious, continued, “You know, I’m actually really glad you brought this up, 106.” And 106 really wished that hadn’t. “This is something that I’ve been thinking about for a while now. So many gems are afraid to talk to us and that’s a real problem. So, I propose that…”

“Enough!” My Diamond exclaimed.

“What? Why? What’s wrong?”

“‘What’s wrong?’ What do you mean ‘What’s wrong?’” My Diamond was preparing to lambast Pink until Blue quietly reminded her of the onlooking jadeites. My Diamond pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled, “Pink, take your seat, we will talk about this later.”

“Seriously?? But I…”

“I said. Take. Your. Seat.” Pink stood in defiance, staring My Diamond down. One could tell that Pink was getting ready to talk back.

“Pink…” Pink turned to Blue. The sound of Blue’s voice alone seemed to be enough to simmer her down. “Please…” Pink let out a frustrated sigh and with bowed head went back to her throne and proceeded to pout.

K and I exchanged a look of confused amusement. We couldn’t help but chuckle at this diamond. And I couldn’t help but despise myself for doing so.

[tipsyraconteur]

Good Boy

Well, hi there. This is a little fluffy something I started writing for KakaSaku Month, but I abandoned it. Then I decided to rework it to celebrate getting 100 followers, but that didn’t happen. So, let’s just say this is for my 150 followers mark. Enjoy!

KakaSaku, Coffee Shop AU

Word Count: 1.6k

-

“Welcome to the Konoha Grind,” Sakura mumbled insincerely as she heard the shop’s bell tinkle in the doorway. She didn’t even look up, instead staring vacantly down as she finished wiping the counter.

It had been a long day, starting with a flat tire, followed by a nearly-failing grade on a particularly difficult anatomy test, and rounding out with a night shift at the coffee shop when all she wanted to do was sleep. It was enough to make her want to give up on med school altogether. 

At the sound of someone clearing their throat on the other side of the register, Sakura lethargically straightened and grabbed an empty cup and marker, ready to take the order. She barely even looked at the person standing in front of her. “What can I get you?”

“A medium flat white and a puppuccino, please,” came a male voice that, even to her tired ears, sounded deep and pleasant. 

Finally glancing up, Sakura paused in the action of writing the order. “I can do the flat white, but I don’t know what a puh— whatever you said is,” she said, studying the man in front of her. He was definitely older than her, but not as old as his shock of silver hair would've led her to believe. The fluffy navy scarf he wore wrapped around the lower half of his face complimented the blue sweater and jeans he’d worn against the brisk weather, and above the scarf his dark eyes were smiling. Her tired mind absently noted the long scar over his right eye.

“A puppuccino,” he supplied. “I think it’s a Starbucks thing?” He shifted the backpack strap slung over his shoulder as he watched her. 

Sakura blinked, frowning a little as she pointed at the logo on the cup that she held. “We’re not Starbucks. We’re the Konoha Grind. I can’t make those,” she said slowly, hoping he'd get the message this time.

“Sure you can,” he replied genially. “All you need to do is put whipped cream in a cup and give it to a dog. Instant puppuccino.”

Trying to scowl at him, Sakura ended up pouting instead. “You’re going to be difficult, aren’t you?” 

A quiet laugh floated out from the scarf, and he responded easily, “Maybe a little, but I think it’s kind of charming, don’t you? If it makes things easier, then I’ll just take the flat white.” 

Sakura gave a relieved sigh and resumed writing his order on the cup, glad he’d dropped the subject, only for him to add, "And a small cup. With whipped cream in it. For a dog.” 

This time, Sakura did scowl at him, which only made him laugh again.

“You’re not having a very good day, are you?” he said, tilting his head. 

“Well,” Sakura began waspishly, “It might have something to do with customers who think they’re charming giving me a hard time.”

He leaned in slightly, little creases appearing at the corner of his eyes as they smiled at her, and she found herself wondering what he looked like beneath the scarf. “I’ll stop giving you a hard time if you just give me one teeny, tiny little cup of whipped cream."

Trying to ignore her thoughts about what the rest of his face looked like, Sakura tipped her chin up willfully. “You don’t even have a dog.” 

His eyes creased again as he shifted the strap from his shoulder, swinging a black backpack around to his front. Sticking its head out the open zippered pouch was a grumpy-looking pug, the kind of dog that was so ugly that it circled back around to being cute. 

“Say hi, Pakkun,” he said. 

“Boof,” said Pakkun.

“Pakkun, haven’t you been a good boy? And don’t good boys deserve a puppuccino?” He asked the pug in a crooning voice.

“Boof,” Pakkun repeated.

Okay, that was pretty adorable. Sakura’s shoulders drooped as she gave in. “Fine. One medium flat white and one… I’m not saying it,” she finished imperiously.

He gave her puppy-dog eyes that perfectly fit the situation. “But you have to say it.” 

They stared at each other stubbornly for a long moment, and then Sakura sighed. 

“…Puppuccino.”

He beamed at her, his eyes twinkling, and she let out a huff that was half laughter and half exasperation. At that moment, she wasn’t sure what came over her—maybe it was the fact that he was kind of charming—but she suddenly added, “You haven’t given me your name.”

Without missing a beat, he answered, “You haven’t given me yours, either.”

Sakura felt heat rising to her cheeks. “I mean, for your cup. So you know it’s yours. I’m supposed to ask.” Great, she sounded like an idiot.

“Oh, really?” he asked, pausing thoughtfully. “I just wanted to know your name.” Before she had a chance to respond, he added, “I’m Kakashi.”

Feeling flustered and like she couldn’t quite keep up with the conversation, she said, “I’m Sakura.” Before he could continue, she quickly spoke again. “Your order will be ready in a minute."

Turning, Sakura moved to the hot bar as she scribbled his name on the cup, willing her cheeks to cool. She never flirted with customers, although they often flirted with her, but she was pretty sure that’s what she’d just been doing. Chancing a glance over her shoulder, she found that he was quietly watching her work, and she quickly returned to what she was doing. 

With the espresso machine brewing and the milk steaming, she reached for one of the small cups that they served espresso shots in and grabbed the whipped cream canister. With a slight flourish, she filled the cup with a fluffy spiral of whipped cream. Turning, she moved back to the counter and held it out to Kakashi. 

“One puppuccino,” she said, lips quirking slightly. 

Kakashi hummed in response, plucking the cup from her hand with long fingers. His free hand lifted to casually pull the scarf down, and Sakura swallowed. He was good looking—like, really good looking, with the kind of sharp features you expect to see in the pages of a magazine, complete with a beauty mark beneath his lower lip. 

When he lifted the cup to his lips and licked the tip of the whipped cream, his eyes meeting hers, Sakura felt the blood rush back into her face. 

“That wasn’t for you,” she squeaked, her voice embarrassingly higher than before. 

Holding her gaze and smirking slightly, Kakashi smoothly responded, “I’m also a very good boy.” Above the smirk, his eyes smoldered.

Sakura’s lips parted, but no sound came out. She knew had to look like a fish out of water and scrambled for something to say. Thankfully, she was saved by the sound of her friend and coworker Ino returning from her break and calling out a hello as she made her way behind the counter. 

“What is this, a medium flat white?” Ino asked breezily, answering her own question as she looked at the order written on the cup. Sakura turned to her and nodded unnecessarily, and Ino checked on the steamed milk. “I’ll finish it,” Ino said, her cornflower-blue eyes pointedly flickering to Kakashi. She clearly had a favorable opinion of their latest customer and wanted to take care of him herself.

Sakura held back a frown. She had long ago learned not to compete with her bombshell friend for the affections of men. Not that it mattered—he was just some guy. 

Right?

When Sakura turned back to face him, Kakashi was holding the cup for Pakkun, who was eating the whipped cream with great enthusiasm. The heated look was gone from his eyes, and the dangerous smirk was gone as well. 

“Your order will be ready in a minute,” Sakura said, for lack of anything better to say. 

He smiled a smile made more appealing by the fact that it was slightly lopsided. "You said that already." Sakura gave him a small smile in return as Ino stepped up beside her, holding the drink out. 

“Medium flat white for Kakashi?” Ino asked in a tone that was syrupy-sweet.

“That’s me,” he answered, his tone vaguely pleasant as he took the drink.

“Is there anything else I can get for you?” Ino asked, leaning on the counter. She even batted her eyelashes, something that made Sakura hold back a snort of disbelief. 

“No thanks, I have to get going,” Kakashi answered, moving back from the counter and lifting his cup in a lazy salute. “Have a good evening, ladies,” he said, his gaze moving from Ino to Sakura before he turned and headed for the door.

They both watched him go, because of course he had a fantastic ass, when suddenly Ino snapped to attention. “Hey, you didn’t pay for your drink!” she called, her voice slightly less sweet than before. 

Kakashi paused, halfway out the door, and laughed lightly, a sheepish look on his face. “Ah, well, you see… I forgot my wallet. I’ll get you tomorrow. I promise.”

Sakura and Ino both watched, a little shocked by his audacity, as he continued through the door—and then he paused, poking his head back through the doorway. His eyes were focused on Sakura as he asked, “Do you work tomorrow?”

Ino turned her head to look wide-eyed at Sakura, who blinked and responded, “I work tomorrow night.”

“Excellent.” He beamed at her, then pulled his scarf up and stepped through the door. The last thing Sakura saw was Pakkun’s face poking out of his backpack, before the door swung shut.

“Hmm,” Ino said, eyeing Sakura, an interested gleam in her eye. “He barely even looked at me. He seemed to be really into you, though,” she said, in a tone that implied that she found it deliciously scandalous.

“Maybe,” Sakura said noncommittally, but when she turned around to join Ino in cleaning the bar, she couldn’t hide the smile that crept over her face.

[writerofblocks]

Sucker Punch

I promised @saintsrow1 I’d write her something for her birthday, which was dog ages ago. Happy belated birthday, here’s some nerds.

[EDIT: now on Ao3!]

Gat was used to photoshoots. He could tolerate them, at the very least. Entering into a partnership with Ultor hadn’t been his idea-far fucking from it- but in exchange for the bright spotlight the Saints had free reign to do whatever the fuck they wanted and look good doing it, courtesy of the PR Department. If photoshoots were the price to pay, he’d pay it.

Didn’t mean he had to fuckin’ like everything about them.

“Please stop fiddling with your tie, Mr. Gat.”

“It’s too fuckin’ tight,” he grumbled, tugging on the silken fabric.

“Perhaps,” the assistant admitted, a sheepish look on her face. “Unfortunately for you, the stylist has a particular look in mind, and loosening the tie would ruin the lines of the outfit-”

Personally he couldn’t tell the difference between all the fancy suits they stuffed him in, but whatever. He held up his hands in surrender and went back to ignoring the way the assistant buzzed around him like flies on a summer day. There had to be an out somewhere, something that could break up the boredom and frustration. Pierce and Shaundi were off who fuckin’ knows where, probably on stage, he wasn’t paying attention. And Vi-

The clack of high heels against the tile of the studio. “Excuse me.”

Great. Another person to try his patience. Gat turned, opened his mouth, and fuck, that was Vi. That was Violet in a jaw-droppingly gorgeous dress coming his way and every harsh word he’d been about to let loose curled up and died in his throat.

Violet casually slipped her arm through his, like she hadn’t just dropped a bombshell on his thought process.  “Do you mind?” she said to the assistant. “I’ve got some… business to talk about with him.” She let the word “business” drop with a sweet venom, coating it with the implication of their less than savory work.

The assistant nodded as fast as her neck would let her.

“Good,” Violet purred, and she was tugging him away somewhere.

Thank fucking Christ. Now if only he could get the part of his brain that was connected to words to work.

He’d always known Violet was attractive- hard not to- it just wasn’t, you know, at the top of his mind. It was always background noise, a kind of thing he knew for certain about her. She was deadly with a gun, she ate Freckle Bitch’s with a speed unmatched by any other human being, and underneath the casual attire she preferred she was drop-dead gorgeous.

This wasn’t the first time he’d seen her in a dress, either. They’d done formal shoots before, just... never with a dress like this. The stylist had kept it simple- sleek and form-fitting on the top, thin spaghetti straps holding the bodice up, a flowing, floor-length skirt underneath. A slit in each side of the skirt skirt offered a cheeky, tantalising peek of a leg. Purple, of course- had to be purple- a dark, almost plum that contrasted her shockingly white hair.

“Everything all right up there, big guy?”

Gat blinked. Somewhere in the middle of his internal anguish she’d guided him to a quieter corner of the room. He inclined his head, offering a reassuring smirk that was utterly divorced from how he was actually feeling. It’s just her. Just Vi. “So did you actually have business to talk about, or…”

“Nah.” Violet rested her arm on his shoulder and flashed a bright grin. “I just figured I’d play the prince in shining armor to your socially awkward princess.”

“Hey!”

Violet chuckled, low and smooth. “Seriously, though. I know those people always get on your nerves.” She smiled again, smaller than before but with the same warmth. “Just remember you can’t shoot anybody here, otherwise they’ll never pay us for the photos. And to be quite fuckin’ honest, it’d be a pain in the ass to fight our way out of here in this dress.”

She was right. With the slits in the skirt, the fabric had a tendency to wrap around her legs if she wasn’t standing perfectly still.

Not that he was looking.

And he wasn’t looking. If he had been, he would have stepped back as she stepped right in front of him. But all she did was reach her hands up and take his tie between her fingers, gently coaxing it back to where the stylist had originally put it. “Plus you look way too good in this suit to ruin it.”

Thank whatever fuckin’ thought of his suggested he start wearing mirrored sunglasses, because if they weren’t she’d be able to see the flash of panic in his eyes. She was too close now, nearly pressed up against him, hands on his chest in a way that was calling ideas to the forefront of his brain he thought he tamped down long ago. It would be so easy to wrap his arms around her, sweep her into a kiss…

She’s grinning up at him now. “Cat got your tongue?”

Shit, he needed to answer. “Did they, uh, do something with your hair?” Fuckin’ nailed it, Gat.

Her grin widened. “Yeah, they did. The photographer wanted to do something different, and the stylist suggested letting it down for once.” Vi gave a playful shake of her head, letting the loose strands swing back and forth. “Do you like it?”

Right. He could give an honest answer to that. “Fuck yeah,” Gat replied, flashing her a grin in return. “It looks good on you.”

Was that blush on her face, or was she actually flushing? “Thanks,” she mumbled, reaching up to play with a strand. Score one for him in this game of ridiculous compliments.

“Boss and Gat!” An assistant called out from nearby. “You’re on in five!”

“Guess that’s our cue,” Violet sighed, dropping her hair. “You ready to go?”

Nope. Not in a million fuckin’ years. “Yeah,” he said, lowering his grin into a simple smirk. He offered his arm, like he hadn’t just been blindsided by the most obvious of realizations.

It wasn’t just her, just Vi. He knew what this meant, how he felt like he’d been thwacked on the head with a frying pan. Actually no, he’d been hit with a frying pan before, and this was much worse. It was an internal ache and want, and it was wrapped up in the woman who took his arm, smiling calmly back.

Well, fuck.

[turntothree]

Ry& Reaction: Wolves & Shepherds

E3 came early this year! ...OK, it didn’t but it certainly felt that way, kind of.

It seems in recent years, game publishers have been tripping over themselves to take up valuable space on that pre-show hype train. I’m talking teasers, press releases, cryptic tweets and anything else they can think of to score some attention before the big three step in and snatch the spotlight. Hell, we’ve seen E3 grow an extra couple days to accommodate more publisher-sponsored events.

Editor’s Note: Really looking forward to that keynote, Devolver Digital!

A few weeks back, Ubisoft decided to do things its own way and steer the train in a slightly different direction with a bombshell announcement most other companies would save for the trade show.

Editor’s Note: NO! NO! That wasn’t released, it escaped!

Damn, man. I was just kidding. It’s going to be alright.

Anyway...this is what I’m really talking about.

Yup, the French gaming giant casually name dropped one of its top secret E3 reveals in a nonchalant tweet, a whole month before the show. But it didn’t stop there. One week later, the aforementioned Youtube suite released a...let’s call it “tourism video” for the humble little town of Hope County, Montana.  

Editor’s Note: I have a “MIGHTY” fine feeling about this place.

What? You’ve got crisp country air for breathin’, plenty of wild game for huntin, a nice clean creek for fishin’ and plenty of big ol’ green acres to roam. Of course, you’d have to overlook the constant bear attacks, air strikes, ominously empty streets and the prospect of being randomly murdered, but what town doesn’t have its share of problems?  

Editor’s Note: Wait...wasn’t Far Cry 4’s announcement handled in a similar fashion? Letting the fanbase sneak a peek behind the curtain; then slamming the curtain back down until a good and proper reveal at E3? Isn’t that what’s going on here?

You’d think so, but...

Dateline – May 26, 2017

IGN’s Daemon Hatfield and Marty Silva greeted the California sunrise with a live (and exclusive) reveal of Far Cry 5’s first proper trailer. In it, would-be players are told the sad tale of how a struggling working-class town was taken in by a wealthy con artist who promised the world.

This self-proclaimed “prophet” Joseph Seed and his twisted family of disciples preached of peace and prosperity; instead they delivered onto his flock a life of servitude and unabashed cruelty. He used his good fortune to giveith himself their property. He used his cultish militia to takeith away their free will. The chosen among “his” townsfolk would be baptised into his parish or they would surely perish.

In a town past the edge of civility, a brave few in the community have chosen to fight back against Seed’s ghoulish gospel and reclaim what’s theirs. In this holy war for the soul of America’s heart land, it is up to the player to lead the resistance. 

That’s the story (at least up to that point)...as for gameplay, the trailer didn’t show too much, but it caught fans a quick glimpse at some old and new tricks alike.

As said previously, the hunting mechanics are back, but with a new batch of wildlife to track. Bears, deer, wolves, cows and bulls are among the critters in the mix. In a similar vain, fishing will be implemented into the series for the first time. Catch and fry up some bass for hit points!

Also returning are the conveniently placed vehicles. Fast travel and open road/seas/(and for the first time) sky combat will be a breeze with your choice of motor boats, ATVs, 18 wheelers, muscle cars and fighter planes. 

Of course, the series’ standard first-person gunplay will remain locked and loaded.

Oh and the world-wide release date for Far Cry 5 has been set for February 27, 2018. The platforms in which it will be made available are as follows: Xbox One, PlayStation 4 and PC. Sorry, Nintendo fans. No Switch port is planned.

Editor’s Note: That’s a fair bit of information. Surely, that’s enough to appease fans for now.

Actually, Ubisoft continued the Youtube rollout with three more trailers; specifically the stories of the three main support characters as told by them in direct conversation with the player.

Meet Nick Rye: A third-generation fighter pilot who had been fortunate enough to have never seen combat, but when “Eden’s Gate” comes knockin’ on his doorstep, Nick is the first to enlist in the resistance.

Meet Mary May Fairgrave: A bartender pushed to the edge after both her brother and mother are kidnapped by Seed’s followers; now her family-owned establishment serves as a home for anyone looking to bust a cap in “Eden’s Ass!”

Meet Jerome Jefferies: The local pastor turned shepherd in wolves clothing; charged with the task of taking back the flock “father” Seed had led astray.

Monologues aside, the folks at UbiBlog also had the chance to catch up with Far Cry 5 Creative Director Dan Hay, who discussed the modern day anxieties, urban legends and Montana road trip that inspired the game’s theme and setting. That interview was also posted to Youtube.  

Editor’s Note: ...Anything else?

Then the press releases rolled out and the media was all over it.

Details of full campaign co-op; a customizable protagonist (who also happens to be the sheriff’s deputy); and so much pending controversy plastered the headlines.

Oh yeah, and there has also been some talk about melee combat specific scenarios being worked into the game. New weapons such as baseball bats, sledgehammers and pitchforks will be implemented as part of the series’ inventory.

image credit - 20th Century Fox

Editor’s Note: Wow! That’s an awful lot to tell so soon. What’s left for the E3 showing?

Actually, there’s still plenty to juicy reveal tidbits to share. Like say, an in-depth look at “Eden’s Gate”. We know so much about the heroes, but we haven’t really seen much of anything concerning the big bads, nor do we know the why or how of their hostile takeover.

There’s also the new feature Ubisoft promised to show off during its presser. If I had to wager a guess, I’d say it’s either the campaign’s co-op option or the flight mechanics.

Editor’s Note: Even still, why reveal so much about the game now? Why not leave it all as a major E3 surprise?   

My theory, the publisher wants the press to focus its collective energy on whatever new Ubisoft IPs (and or Assassin’s Creed sequel) premier that fateful day, so it’s trying to answer the more common Far Cry questions ASAP. Also, all this Far Cry hype sure makes for a damn fine centerpiece.

...

Editor’s Note: Thoughts on what you’ve seen and read so far?

 *Sigh* I guess I should start off by addressing the elephant in the room – the story.

For all of the hullabaloo, it’s nothing new. The town overrun with zealot cultists ranks among the classics of horror tropes, and stories (subtly or not) inspired by political unrest are certainly commonplace, even in the world video games.

Editor’s Note: And they’re only going to get more common over the next, let’s say four years?

While these character archetypes and plot devices may seem a tad (or more) over done, that doesn’t mean they can’t be used to tell a good story. In fact, I trust Ubisoft Montreal to do just that. That’s not to say I didn’t have any reservations or crack a joke or two at first glance, but the deeper the Youtube showings went, the more invested I got.

Hearing the stories of Nick, Mary and Pastor Jerome gave me Goosebumps, and I instantly wanted to know more about what was going on and how they aimed to deal with it.

Editor’s Note: Forget this customizable protagonist nonsense, Ubisoft. Rip-off Rockstar so I can swap between these three heroes!

The villains on the other hand, I have no real opinion of, yet. Sure, Ubi is more than capable of creating the type of sinisterly charismatic baddies this plot calls for (shout out to Vaas and Pagan Min), so I feel “Eden’s Gate” has plenty of potential. However, I can’t judge Seed or his siblings sight unseen.

...Promo images excluded, of course.

Editor’s Note: Speaking of elephants, Far Cry 4 let me wreck shit on elephant back. Surely, Ubisoft can’t just expect me to go back to primitive man power.

I don’t believe the southern United States is an elephant’s natural habitat.  

Editor’s Note: i dOn’T bEliEVe tHE SoUtHERn UnITeD StATeS iS aN eLePHaNT’s nAtURal hAbITat.

...

OK, so Montana isn’t normally thought of alongside the exotic locales the series is known for, but the more I’ve thought it over, the more I’ve come to realize it’s the perfect setting for a Far Cry game.

It’s beautiful and serene territory hosts some gorgeous natural splendour...it also has some hidden and very real dangers entrenched deep within its forestry and rocky domains. The ravenous wolves, perilous coyote packs, rabid dogs, wild bulls and massive grizzlies will be just as, if not more formidable than the tigers and honey badgers of previous games.

If you’re luckily enough to be the hunter, as opposed to the hunted, you’ll be able to score some prime cuts of meat for health boosts, and some fine pelts for crafting items.

Of course, there’s also the option to fish for some grub. That could be fun for a bit.

Editor’s Note: As long as it’s SEGA Bass Fishing quality and not Sonic Adventure quality, I’m totally up to do a little fishin’.

Not to mention the prospect of being hunted down by a bunch of gun-toting manics does compliment itself rather terrifyingly well to the whole outdoor survivalist angle, much like the militants and royal guardsmen of entries 1-4.

Yeah, the setting might be a little different and the enemies might be a little different but this is still very much Far Cry, with all the fun DIY M-A-Y-H-E-M that comes with it.

Speaking of what makes Far Cry - Far Cry, let’s talk vehicles. This pitched selection is cool as frig!

Tarring through the countryside in a muscle car or big rig, and the promise of delivering some cathartic death from above sounds absolutely sick!

Editor’s Note: Hopefully, the air battles can match stuff like Ace Combat or Battlefield 1. Now that would be sick.

Anything else...oh, right; campaign co-op. It’s a great idea!

I can’t recall the number of times I played through a mission in Far Cry 4 only to find myself completely surrounded and desperately wishing I had back-up. The ability to call in a buddy should certainly make breaking through those impenetrable compounds at least a little bit more bearable.

Editor’s Note: This all sounds rad...still wish I had my elephant though.

...

I honestly don’t quite know how to cap this off. I guess I could say:

Far Cry 5 has all the potential in the world to be a great action game, as its pedigree can attest. The guns, explosions, fast rides, deadly beasts, and vast destructible set pieces are all on lock. It has all it needs to kick ass and take names. But its creative direction is taking the series into some unknown and fairly risky territory.

There’s certainly plenty of potential in the characters and setting presented, as I’ve said earlier. However, the direction the game seems to be heading could cause a drastic tonal shift that throws the entire thing off kilter. This building sense of horror, sorrow and despair, and to have it all inspired by today’s political climate could put a major damper on the aforementioned ass-kicking and taking of names.

It’s going to be tough and sadly, it might even get a little ugly, but Ubisoft has a rock solid creative team and I do believe they can make these pieces fit into something truly great. At least I hope so.

...

...

Boy that sure was some dark stuff. Let’s lighten things up next time by battling it out Poké-Style!

[jessicakehoe]

A Guide to Sounding Smart at Your Oscars Viewing Party

Whether you’re a film buff or not, we can all agree that awards season is a lot to keep up with. For starters, there are just so. many. awards shows. It all starts with the Golden Globes, which lead to the SAGs, the Critics’ Choice Awards, the Independent Spirit Awards, all the Guild Awards, culminating, finally, with the Academy Awards. With each awards show comes the analysis of all the snubs, surprises, and shoo-ins. There are think pieces about box office success versus critical acclaim. There are controversies about the lack of diversity. There are Twitter Moments and memes aplenty.

There’s a lot to parse in the months-long lead-up to the Oscars, but some key pieces of news do tend to break through all the noise. This year, for instance, even if you haven’t been paying close attention, chances are you know the following: 1) South Korean film Parasite has a solid shot at taking home the biggest prize of the night, Best Picture. 2) Brad Pitt’s got a knack for memorable acceptance speeches. 3) Once again, there are very few women and female-led films up for awards outside of the acting categories. 4) JLo got snubbed.

Now, that’s not enough to keep up with all the chatter at the Oscars viewing party you’re bound to attend this weekend. So here’s a pro tip. Come awards season, The Hollywood Reporter, Variety and The New York Times each begin rolling out their annual video series focused on the year’s biggest awards contenders. From roundtables with stars to directors breaking down crucial scenes from their critically acclaimed films, the videos offer a behind-the-scenes look at some of the most talked about films of the year. Give some of these a watch ahead of Sunday. It may not be enough to win you the Oscars pool but at least you’ll be clued in enough to drop little anecdotes or factoids here and there over the course of the evening.

The Hollywood Reporter Roundtables One of the most keenly anticipated series of awards season, the THR Roundtables invite the year’s most buzzed about actors, directors, writers and producers to sit around a table with their peers and chat about their craft, their inspirations and their struggles. This year, the Actresses Roundtable features Jennifer Lopez, Laura Dern, Awkwafina, Lupita Nyong’o, Scarlett Johansson and Renée Zellweger talking about everything from imposter syndrome to being typecast to working with female directors to how #MeToo has improved life for women in Hollywood. Watch their conversation so you can say stuff like “Did you know that Noah Baumbach [who directed Laura Dern and Scarlett Johansson in Marriage Story] doesn’t let his actors change even a single word of the script?” at the party later.

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Variety Actors on Actors Taking a leaf from Interview’s playbook, in which celebrities and artists interview each other, Variety’s video series sets two actors down in a room for a one-on-one free-wheeling conversation. This year, tune in to watch Jennifer Lopez chatting with Robert Pattinson about taking chances as an artist, Chris Evans and Scarlett Johansson debating the merits of superhero films vs auteur-driven “cinema,” and Brad Pitt and Adam Sandler mainly trading compliments for an hour. Fun fact: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood director Quentin Tarantino only told Brad Pitt right before they started shooting that the end of the film would involve his character tripping on acid.

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The New York Times’ Anatomy of a Scene In Anatomy of a Scene, film directors narrate a scene from one of their movies, breaking down what influenced them to construct the scene the way they did. Greta Gerwig, who wrote and directed Little Women, dissects the scene in which Saoirse Ronan and Timothee Chalamet’s characters, Jo and Laurie, dance wildly with each other on the porch outside of a formal party. “I wanted everything to feel very shimmery and very beautiful,” says Gerwig of the scene. “And we shot with a certain filter to give it that certain feeling and it has this warmth.” The series also sees Bong Joon Ho talking about Parasite, Marielle Heller narrating a scene from A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood, and Jay Roach offering a peek into the making of Bombshell.

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And if you’re a fan of dropping little-known facts into casual conversation, BBC has a roundup of 17 “quirky facts” about this year’s Oscars that warrants a quick read. For instance, if Cynthia Erivo wins Best Actress for her role as Harriet Tubman in Harriet, she would become the youngest person ever to score an EGOT. (She has previously won a Tony, Grammy and Daytime Emmy for her work in the Broadway revival of The Color Purple.) Another fun fact: this is the first time that a real-life couple will compete for the Best Picture prize. Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach, who recently welcomed their first child together, both have films up for the award this year: Little Women and Marriage Story, respectively.

The post A Guide to Sounding Smart at Your Oscars Viewing Party appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

A Guide to Sounding Smart at Your Oscars Viewing Party published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/

[littlethoughtsandfeelings]

The Bachelor Australia 2017 Recap – Episode 3

The girls are CASUALLY (and still standing, I might add. Get some more seating in there, already) gathered around the kitchen, agreeing it’s the group date episode. Simone throws down in her talking head, saying that she doesn’t like Leah (our Villain Number One).

Osher materialises (are we 100% sure at this point he’s not a wizard and this isn’t apparition?) with a date card, and tells the lucky (hmm, would we say lucky?) girl she has 15 minutes to get ready to add some URGENCY for NO REASON. 

The clue reads: “I am really drawn to your creative side.” A rivalry is set up in two seconds between the painter (sorry, there’s a painter there?) or Laura, the jewellery designer. Laura the jewellery designer wins. (Side note for the producers: you can’t expect us to care about a rivalry if you spend LITERALLY TWO SECONDS establishing it. It is pointless, easy fodder for the episode, and don’t think we don’t see that.)

Matty’s talking head says he’s had his eye on Laura since the red carpet, and we get a de-saturated flashback to remind us who she is (thank you for this. This is actually quite helpful).

Matty J comes to pick her up in a very small (she notes that it’s very small) boat. Laura’s wearing some kind of maxi skirt thing, and I’m just reminded that she’s had fifteen minutes to get ready. I have so many questions about this. What if she hadn’t shaved? What if her fake tan was uneven? What if her bikini was in the wash? 

They talk for twenty minutes about BOATS. LITERALLY I COUNTED AT LEAST SEVEN TIMES. If I were drinking, I would already be hospitalised for alcohol poisoning by now. So… let me get this straight. They’re taking a small boat to a… bigger boat? And this is exciting?

On the BOAT, Laura’s nervous-talking. After the self-described word vomit, they have the obligatory “how many people have you loved?” conversation. I’m not really sure what this is supposed to achieve, other than confirming that they are not, in fact, children.

Back at the mansion, a new date card arrives (do these apparate too? Osher, tell us your secrets!).

The clue reads: “A step back in time.” Ah, that’s right, it’s the Medieval Episode (side note: Didn’t they all eat haggis or blood pudding or something last year?). Some ladies are on it, basically all of them, so we’ll just talk about the important ones when (if) they make themselves known. 

Leah (Villain Number One) wants to be on the date. Wow. So content. Much interesting. Simone (her two episode long arch-enemy) gets the last place. Leah says that she hopes it’s competitive then. Jennifer, our Villain Number Two, says she didn’t want both of them to be on the date, at the “expense of [her] own safety”. What the fuck does she think is going to happen? Are the girls all given guns when they enter the mansion or something? I mean, I know they get vicious, but they’re not going to murder someone on national television, are they? (I mean hey, at this point, it would add some interest to this season. I’m dying of boredom so far).

Apparently Matty’s learnt from my criticism of last episode’s date, and this date with Laura doesn’t consist of just a boat ride, or even two boat rides. This time, he’s introduced… drawing. Of each other. Alright, I’ll bite.

The stumble upon two conveniently placed easels by the shore, and it’s revealed that Laura has experience of live drawing, as she is a strong independent woman with a Fine Arts degree. 

But, there’s a twist! Matty J has added a TIME LIMIT, because if the new media world of YouTube, etc. has taught us anything, it’s that CHALLENGES ARE FUN. He boasts about winning a drawing competition as a kid, and it’s actually nice to know that Matty hasn’t lost his personality this season, unlike other Bachelorette-contestants-turn-Bachelors *cough Richie cough*.

Matty jokes about drawing her lovingly, and this is set up very nicely for what we know will be a horrible picture.

Matty says, “The more I look at her, the more I realise that she’s completely and utterly beautiful.” Ummm… is this a compliment? It’s like, “I wasn’t sure at first, but the more I looked at her, the prettier she got.” It’s like when you’re buying a dress, and you’re like hmmm probably not my style, but then you can’t get it out of your head and go back to buy it anyway, and then it sits in your wardrobe forever, never being worn. What were we talking about?

So Laura reveals her drawing and it’s… um… interesting. Granted, it’s probably better than I could do, and no one said her major was in drawing… 

Matty reveals his drawing and it’s… I’m sorry, Matty. It’s hideous. They even have the big strings in the score underneath and it literally looks like a drawing by a serial killer.

They joke for a bit.

Matty: What tripped me up most was…

Laura: The face?

Matty: The face. 

They go to a SEXYTIME COUCH and have wine, because what is The Bachelor without a healthy dose of alcoholism?

Laura seems presently surprised that she likes Matty J (when do they get a chance to be like, “Nah, P.S. mate, I’m not feeling it”?) She’s biting her tongue, not metaphorically, literally, like between her teeth. Do guys think this is cute? This isn’t cute. 

HOLD THE PHONE. ARE THEY GOING TO KISS? SHE’S SPEECHLESS. HE LIKES HER. SHE LIKES HIM. JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY.

THEY’RE KISSINGGGGGGGGGGG AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. THEY’RE GOING TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES. HE CUPPED HER FACE. THERE’S A SUN FLARE. THEY’RE PANNING. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. IT’S A LONG KISS. THEY’VE SEPARATED. OH NO, HE’S GOING BACK FOR SECONDS. AHHHHHHHH. 

He’s all shy and coy in the interview afterwards. He says he wanted to kiss Laura from the very first moment he saw her today. Look, she wasn’t one of my main picks, but, like with Matty J, she’s growing on me. He offers her a rose and she accepts. THEY MUSH AGAIN! (See last year’s recaps for explanations of this very scientific term.)

Right so after the ad break, we’re on the medieval date. (What, no Laura going back to the mansion with a rose and being interrogated? But that was such interesting television.)

Apparently, Matty spent five years in London (like every Australian under 30), and wanted to recreate the 1500s. Because this makes sense.

Osher says that Henry VIII had six wives, Matty squeezes in some chauvinism by saying, “My man!”, and therefore only six ladies (out of the twelve on the date) will have seats at the banquet with Matty. There’s also a rose ceremony later that night, which is apparently a bombshell dropped.

They put on costumes, and Matty is wearing pantaloons, which I am HERE FOR. 

Osher explains they will be doing typical activities of the time, so the girls get to look after the small animals around the farm. I guess it’s better than NOT exercising their right to vote, or NOT being institutionalised for having their period. 

The first mini competition is catching pigs. Yep. You read that right. Matty nominates helium balloon Cobie, ribbon dancer Akoulina, badass Simone, and Villain Number One, Leah, for this task (does he really know all their names? Or does Osher just whisper them to Matty out the side of his mouth?).

Osher warns them all NOT TO HURT THE PIGS. I REPEAT, DO NOT HURT THE PIGS.

Osher also says to not traumatise the piglets. Judging by the squealing, they are being traumatised every second of this horrendous experience.

Animal rights activism aside, Leah leads the charge, because apparently she’s a “country girl”. Cobie (who I swear wasn’t there two seconds ago) also gets a pig. Leah’s the first one through, and probably catches swine flu by kissing the piglets (jk I have no idea how it’s transmitted. In case you’re unaware, I am not a doctor).

Leah and Cobie are through to the banquet; Akoulina and Simone are out. Leah makes a generic villainous comment about decapitating them, so that’s fun.

Lisa (one of my early picks) says she wants to win the next challenge to get the banquet with Matty. Breaking: Bachelor contestant wants to win Bachelor’s heart!

Anyway, the next challenge is a sack race, with Michelle, Lisa, and some other people. Matty breaks down the sack race for us, in terms of agility, stamina, and hand-eye coordination, in what is probably a television first. Then there’s also a ring toss, halfway through the sack race. I’m pretty sure this is an exact historical representation. Belinda (who? Ah, the “love coach”) and Lisa get through.

The next game is that ancient game of soccer, with Elora, etc. They’re shoving each other, and they’re ruthless. I hate sports at the best of times, but if I was in this situation, I would politely curtsey right the f out of there.

Some more people get through, and they leave for the banquet.

At the banquet, Matty wants some goss about the dynamics in the house. Villain Number One says that it’s a bit shakey, and that maybe it’s the mother instinct in her, but she takes the feelings of others to heart. You may have thought I’d embellished that, but no. That was all her.

The other girls at the banquet are predictably unhappy about this, and wanting to get the heck out of there, Matty asks Alix (the body painter one) for some one-on-one time.

She decides to use this precious alone time with Matty to… ask about his family. ALIX DO YOUR RESEARCH, BABE. Interestingly though, Matty reveals he’s the middle child of five. Did we know this before? If not, that. explains. everything.

Leah is bored at the banquet because none of her evil-squad is there (side note: “Evil Squad” could be a good name for an all-girl metal rock band. Or a group of spiders. You know, either or).  

Leah eggs on Elise (who? Oh, another montage girl) to interrupt Matty’s time with Alix. Yes, it is definitely her decision and not chosen by the producers.

Elise says, “Are you guys finished or do you want a bit more time?” And Alix replies, “No, you can jump in, babe”. See, this is how you do it. Friendship! Happiness! Respect!

But then two seconds later Leah gets the shits and goes to interrupt. THIS IS DEFINITELY ALL HER IDEA. She describes herself as a “strawberry shortcake”, which I CAN actually buy as her idea. 

Elise returns to the banquet with her tail between her legs, and the girls at the table are all upset for her. Lisa thinks Leah likes the attention. Um, you reckon?

Leah talks about her mum, and turns on the waterworks. She actually says, “I care too much, it’s just who I am” and I’m pretty sure I vomited in my mouth.

Matty offers a hug and she takes it. He says, “I’m glad you’re here for the right reasons” to which Leah replies, “I think so.” At this point, do they just want to turn to camera and wink?

See, here’s the problem with this. They’re trying to recreate someone as iconic as Laurina. But the thing with Laurina, is that I’m utterly convinced she didn’t need any encouragement from the producers. “Dirty street pie” was all natural. It’s different when they have someone who says in a robotic voice (almost as if reading from a script), “Now I shall be mean”, and then goes and does something mean. I feel like they think it’s going to get them more ratings, or that people will be bored without this contrived bullshit, but I’m not buying that. No one actually thinks this is real, right? So, producers: Stop trying to make Laurina happen! It’s not going to happen. 

Anyway, back to the banquet, Matty reveals that he actually has a rose to give out tonight. His talking head explains that he’s seen a glimpse of a softer, more gentle side to this person, and that’s what he’s looking for in a partner. And then… 

Alix gets the rose! FUCK YEAH! GOOD JOB PRODUCERS! This is a perfect example of playing with audience expectations, and another example of Matty not taking any of their shit this year. Producers, how can I hate you and love you at the same time?

Rose Ceremony time!

They’re all still in their costumes, because the show wants to get as much use as possible out of their (presumably exorbitant) costume rental fee.

Osher reveals that only one (one? Really, Osh, there’s still a lot of dead weight here) lady will be going home.  

It’s down to Simone, the absolute best, and ribbon dancer Akoulina.  

Simone gets chosen (FUCK YEAH!) and even gets a cuddle from her bestie, Elora.

Farewell, Akoulina. May you continue to dance forever.

Next Episode: THERE’S A LIFE-SIZE BOARD GAME OF MATTY. F YES I AM INTO THIS SO MUCH. HE LOVES GAMES. I LOVE GAMES. WHERE IS COBIE?