#that you see good in people and you decide to go for that instead of their darkness is one of the most difficult thing to me

[fadebolt]

I don't have much more to add here.

It portrays its message in a very overt manner - and I think that very much works for its benefit. The real world equivalent of this type of cycle is a lot subtler, and seems a lot more innocuous on the surface. But by exaggerating it, and making it a lot more 'clear', the reader gets a really good idea of how horrid it actually is, which they possibly wouldn't have taken note of, otherwise.

It's funny how I also learned of Metamorphosis through my high school literature class, and it was the piece that stuck with me the most (rather than something from the beautiful Hungarian materials, which was the vast majority of what we covered).

Though a large part of why I remember it is also how much I actually physically struggled to get through it. From what I remember, it was somewhat visceral, and I had to make sure to occasionally take little walks, and keep the window open, so that I wouldn't start feeling dizzy/sick. (Just note that I also imagined it to be a lot more gruesome, than how a lot of the art portrays the story. I also have a bit of a vivid imagination (which decided to picture Gregor as a giant centipede, for some inexplicable reason), and I get the same dizzy/sick feeling when I look at detailed images of cells, so I'm almost certainly an outlier here. Don't ask what's going on with my brain, cus I honestly have no idea.)

But its themes were also incredibly well portrayed, and dare I say, have actually affected me. Because not only has it highlighted the vicious cycle that neurodiverent people go through, but also that 'trying to become 'normal'' is neither a feasible, nor an ideal solution, and is not something that anyone should be fully forced into. Despite its grim undertones, Metamorphosis actually encouraged me to try and stand out in a positive manner, instead of being stuck as an 'insect that is poorly mimic-ing what 'normal' is like', the way the main character did.

It's inspiring, but in an unusual way. It's hard to put it into words, but I think any neurodiverent person will get it.

So yeah, I can absolutely recommend it to anyone who's looking for a more dark story with creepy elements that tackle some heavy psychological subject matters. I wouldn't say it's for everyone, but if you are part of the target audience (which... most of you Tumblr users are xd), then it's absolutely going to be one of your most memorable and impactful reads.

And it's a really pleasant surprise to see that it's so popular and well-known on this site. The story certainly earned that ^-^

[lani-heart]

|| series masterlist || next // previously ||

genre(s) -> smut, fluff, non-idol, hybrid au, poly au paring(s) -> yunho ( centric ) x reader warning(s) -> smut, mdni. 18+ words -> 3.5k

abstract -> sometimes... the quietest are who are suffering the most

yunho’s perspective

How long have I been looking at this wall?

It was boring that I was stuck in here alone with my thoughts. I missed Mingi… even if we lived poorly. We had many stories about being on the street… but it was selfish of me to reminisce. He was happier… healthier and way better than he would be with me. 

���Yunho… cheer up today! There’s an adoption fair this afternoon!” The employee said I could only offer a soft smile to cover up my emptiness. 

Maybe… I'll get adopted and get a new start.

Maybe someone will fill the whole Mingi left… and I can atone for what I did when I was a thief, especially to her.

y/n’s perspective

“I see,” Mingi said after I finally sat down and talked to him about it. “Is it selfish to want to ask you to adopt him… but also feel sick at the thought?” he said and I smiled softly. 

“I’m leaving this decision to you, if you’re not comfortable with me adopting him I won’t” I confirmed and he nodded. “I just don’t want to feel like he’s replacing me” he muttered and I sighed. 

“He’d never replace you… look at it like this, Mingi. Yeosang and Wooyoung had the same insecurity” I said and he looked shocked.

“Wooyoung got so bad that he got into a small depressive episode cause he thought I’d abandon him… that I only adopted him because I wanted to be with San,” I said and he stayed silent… deep in thought.

“I don’t treat them differently do I?” I asked and he shaked his head. “And Yeosang thought the same thing but I'd never treat any of you differently…you’re my made family,” I said and he then hugged me in I rubbed his back hoping to comfort him. 

“Yunho had everything… he was perfect and he was never punished or anything. He would get away with everything” he muttered clearly envious. “You wouldn't be treated differently,” I said and he nodded. 

“I know… and I do really miss him,” he said with a sad smile.  “Today is an adoption fair… so this decision–” “I want Yunho back,” he said, cutting me off. 

In the end… they were a bonded pair. 

mingi’s perspective

I felt sick… nervous, anxious… What if he didn’t want to see me again? What if he decided to take revenge and steal them all from me? But I also really missed him. I wanted him by my side again…

The adoption fair was huge… It had lots of people looking at hybrids, special needs hybrids, yellow codes, some orange codes, and of course the green codes. But there wasn’t any place to see red or purple code hybrids, not to mention the black codes. 

Everyone though always seemed to be attracted to green codes, the prejudice of other codes sometimes isn’t aggression. But instead mental health or– “Jaemin told me that’s his” she whispered to me while pointing at the kennel at the end of the hall.

“Can I… go alone first?” I asked and she gave me a sweet smile and let go of my hand. I took a deep breath as I walked to the kennel. Yunho didn’t even see or hear me… he looked lost in thought lying down on his bed that could barely even fit him. 

“What’s so interesting about the ceiling?” I said and his ears twitched as he looked at me clearly confused. “Mingi…” he said and I swear I saw his eyes start to tear up. “You look… so much better,” he said as he got closer to the glass door shielding us from each other. 

“Yeah… she treats me like them. You were right about her you know… she’s one of the good ones” I said and he chuckled. He then just looked at me with a soft smile he used to… “I missed you” he muttered and I smiled. “I did too,” I said.

“Why are you here, Mingi?” he asked and I smiled. “No… I don’t want her to adopt me” he said and I was confused… “Mingi… I know you. You’ll get mad and not say anything… you’ll get jealous, and I want you to be–” “I won’t…” I know I was lying but I really wanted Yunho by my side again. 

Everyone back home was amazing but… Wooyoung and San were glued to each other, and so were the tigers. Yeosang was independent… I wanted someone who would be by my side again. Even if I regret this decision. 

But would I regret my decision?

“Want me to formally introduce you to the sweetest human you’ll ever meet?” I asked and he still looked at me skeptical but laughed anyway. “How is it?” he asked, now relaxing and I smiled, wanting to show him everything. Maybe even ask Seonghwa and Wooyoung to make my favorite dishes for them to make him. 

“Where do I even start? I just know you’ll love it”

y/n’s perspective

“Mingi worries me…” I confessed to Kun. Mingi said he wanted to talk to Yunho some more so I told him I'd get the adoption papers done. “His weakness is Yunho… he seems to have a possessive part of him. He wouldn’t want to share with Yunho but I think in a way he also doesn't wanna share Yunho” he said and I agreed. “What if in the end, I can’t keep Yunho because Mingi won’t allow it?” I ask and he sighs. 

“Then I doubt Yunho will ever be adopted… or he has a really rare chance of it,” he said and I sighed. 

“There's nothing we can do but… risk it huh?” I asked and he nodded while I signed everything. I was truly worried about how everyone was gonna treat Yunho. They treated Mingi… great and honestly had the better transitions into our home but… Yunho I was really worried about and not because of everyone else but Mingi himself. 

I waited in the waiting room when I saw Renjun and Mingi. “Yunho will be out soon but Mingi isn’t allowed in the grooming nor in Doyoung-hyung’s office” he explained and I nodded as he went back to work. 

“Are you excited?” I asked and he grinned. “I finally have him back!” he said happily and I hoped… My worries were for nothing. He talked about Yunho constantly, telling everyone stories and only good things about him. While I knew he had some jealousy and envy towards the golden retriever hybrid.

None of it had aligned with his medical records. And how he was abused more than Mingi was. 

Kun confirmed it… the file as well. 

He confessed to being starved for weeks at a time and even being physically and sexually abused. While Mingi was also abused… he was starved for one week at a time, and physically abused. His heat and Yunho’s would also sync together making his previous owner lock him in a closet while– 

“Yunho!” I felt myself snap away from my thoughts and see the golden retriever hybrid who I once thought was human now in a temporary collar and clothes while Mingi hugged him. He was attached quickly… They were a bonded pair after all. 

Yunho didn’t want to look me in the eye and I didn’t push him too as Mingi just ranted and said he was gonna love their new home. Yunho only silently nodded and smiled… he was happy but looked reluctant. 

“Ohh! And every week y/n takes me out to these cafes after my session! y/n the next time we go can we bring him a lot of the pastries!” he exclaimed and I agreed happily. 

Yunho was also given therapy sessions but bi-weekly… and on Mondays… but for now I didn’t want to tell Mingi that… I didn’t want him to think Yunho was taking things from him already 

 At the apartment, everyone gave him a warm welcome… which Mingi said they should but he already looked a little dejected. Even saying “When I first came, everyone kinda hated me since we did steal from y/n,” he said already showing him the difference… Wooyoung was the first to speak up and say they warmed up pretty quickly to him but I didn’t necessarily tell them to be careful. 

Though Yeosang and Seonghwa already seem skeptical. 

Mingi soon dragged him around to show him everywhere away from everyone… Even when Wooyoung offered, he was immediately rejected by Mingi.

“What's the wolf’s problem?” Yeosang asked and I sighed. “A long story,” I said and he hummed while taking me to his room where Seonghwa followed.

“Mingi is acting differently towards us… almost like he doesn’t want us to get close to Yunho?” Seonghwa added and I sighed. “Mingi is extremely envious of Yunho. In his file it says he has a love-hate relation with his bonded pair. Jealous that he was treated better in his eyes in their old home even saying he had more favoritism while Mingi had the hard-hitting abuse” I said and they nodded. 

“Was it not like that?” Yeosang asked and I shook my head. I handed him the file from my purse which he and Seonghwa read and they didn’t seem to read much before handing it back to me. 

“So… what happens to the two?” he asked and I shrugged. “Nothing… we have to act normal and accept Yunho cause he’s a part of our home now”

yunho’s perspective

I wonder just how much she knew about the problem of me being here truly. Seeing Mingi already trying to isolate me from the others was… not a good sign. 

Of course, he can’t do it forever. So while I had my own room, he already said how he was jealous of that but because no one could share a room with me. 

He was mated to her… they all were, which was shocking. He clearly stated how much living here was like a dream and how much he wanted me here but deep down he was a liar. 

Eventually, Mingi would show everyone just how much he hated me. Because while I do believe I mean something to him… at least in private, to others I'm soon gonna be discarded. Mingi hates when I take things from him because he assumes I already have more than him. 

But I wanted to be selfish and enjoy my time with him… at least for the time being. I really did miss him and I could only hope he missed me like he was saying. 

I don’t deserve a lifetime with him… so I'm hoping that fate can offer me a small amount of time with him until we separate again. 

Mingi was not doing well emotionally.

I was happy seeing that he could interact with other hybrids so easily and even y/n who really was the sweetest person I’ve ever and probably will ever meet. 

So seeing her trying to explain that I had a check-in with the hybrid specialist did not hit him well. Especially since I would be alone with her… doing something that was just like he would.

“Can I come with you?” he asked and she gave him a tight smile.

“Mingi…” she said trailing off and Yeosang scoffed. He wasn’t rude to me but he also seemed to understand what was happening actually… I think they all knew. 

“It's for his health… you want him to be okay and happy with us right?” she asked him and he stayed silent before eventually nodding. “You should start going any longer and you’ll be late,” Hongjoong said and she nodded but not before looking at Mingi who was silently looking at the ground. 

He didn’t even bother to look once as we left but I could see he was mad… his fists were clenched and his tail nervously moved. When we come back it won’t be a happy ending. 

“I’m hoping he comes around to the realization… that well, you aren’t taking anything from him,” I said and he smiled softly. “So you noticed it too? Sorry…” he apologized and it made me wonder if Yunho was gonna be harder to transition into being in a happy home. 

“It’s not your fault… don’t apologize when it's not needed I just hope you can enjoy it while being with us,” I said and he chuckled softly. “Everyone is really nice and you’re really exactly who I thought you’d be maybe even more… I hope so too that Mingi comes to the realization” he confessed and I nodded. 

The rest of the walk was… quiet and well by the time we were here I wondered if Yunho would ever open up to me.

“You okay?” I heard and saw Jaemin. “Yeah… just worried for Yunho,” I said and he sighed. “Did Kun tell you about Yunho not being up for adoption anymore?” he asked and I nodded. He looked sad but it was a part of this job…

“Yunho is such a sweet hybrid but… so susceptible to pretending everything is okay and that makes him an easy target you know that” he explained and it was true. With him being so easily obedient his masking of how he actually feels is dangerous. 

When hybrids are trained as well… obedient servants it makes it hard for them to find homes after since either transition will be hard or they’ll find themselves in another abusive home. These hybrids are often taken to the country with other hybrids and… well are under the hands of breeders. Which treat them well but… Mingi would regret it if that happened. 

“y/n? Can we talk privately before Yunho is dismissed?” Kun came to ask and I nodded and said my goodbyes to Jaemin. “He’s finding it hard to interact with your other hybrids due to mingi, I would probably recommend separating them in the home for the time being but be careful since it might trigger Mingi. So I would recommend to talk it out with both of them” he offered and I nodded. 

I trusted Kun’s input and Mingi needed something to push him into accepting a reality check. 

I went outside after signing papers where I saw Yunho. He was currently sharing Mingi’s clothes and… well he even said he didn’t mind so I knew it came from a place of jealousy. He’d hate to see Yunho get treated better than him… 

Mingi… didn’t like the day we got Yunho a collar either but I had to sit down and tell him it's something all of them have. Something that they have uniquely for them but from the same material each other has. 

Mingi has a brownish pink collar while Yunho has a gray one with soft yellow jewels on it. The gesture alone I know made Mingi upset. 

“Are you hungry? We could pass–” “No thanks…” he rejected and I know why. Though I didn’t want to push it… “I’ll ask Wooyoung to make you something special then?” I asked and he shook his head. 

He would continue to reject anything given to him… as long as Mingi showed his insecurity. 

yunho's perspective

I was worried about going up the elevator. Mingi exactly waiting…

“Mingi can I talk with you?” she asked and he nodded softly as she looked at me and gestured me to follow. Her other hybrids looked confused but as we made it to her room she gave us a shy smile. 

“Kun offered some advice… that the two of you should separate for a bit just to help the transition. Mingi you should let him go around the apartment alone and even with everyone else okay?” she asked and he nodded softly. 

“And please… share what you’re feeling? Bottling it up isn’t good for you” she told me and we nodded as we left her room. Mingi was angry…

“Did you go somewhere after?” he asked and I shook my head. “No, I wanted to come back to–” “I bet you did…” he muttered as he walked off but I sighed and caught up to him to grab his wrist when he suddenly jerked back and looked at me angrily. 

“Why do you steal everything from me!” he yelled at me and I knew this was gonna happen. “I went through hell with our old owner and you got off easy! You never suffered anything! You were 'Golden Boy Yunho'!” he yelled angrily and it was starting to piss me off. 

“Mingi?” I heard as I saw the panther… Mingi stayed silent, probably clearing his jealous thoughts. “Can you give us some privacy?” he asked and the panther sighed. “You do know that she isn't the type of person to replace you? She’s not a hybrid collector” he corrected and Mingi stayed silent as he left.

“They weren’t hybrid collectors either… So why? Why was I the only one punished!” he yelled again and I knew he needed to get this out of him. “I hate you… I wish we weren’t bonded so we didn't have to be stuck with each other!” he yelled and I let out a shaky sigh. 

“You know nothing about what I went through–” “Did you ever stop to think, what if I just never told you about what I went through?” I asked and he scoffed. “Like what huh?! She’d favor you always–” “If you haven't eaten for a day Mingi, I didn’t eat for two! If you were locked in a closet I was the one physically punished! You weren't the only one so stop okay!” I yelled... I am now sick of it, pretending I was okay when... just wanted to forget. 

“Don’t you ever wonder what’s happening to me when you're locked in the closet? Or how long has it been since I ate, if you were being punished? Why do you think she liked me so much huh? I did everything I could for you… and in the end, you won’t ever care! You’ve always hated me when I always tried my best!” I cried out now. 

He looked shocked but he shook his head… “Liar,” he said and I sighed and left the room. I can’t stay here if he really does hate me. I knew he’d regret having her adopt me…

I went through the fridge looking for things I could take that would last me a while. 

“Planning on running away?” I heard and I looked behind me to see them all… besides her. I was caught red-handed… “Why are you fighting so much with the overgrown wolf?” Yeosang asked and I sighed.

“He’s always hated me… ever since we were kids. He still thinks he was the only one getting punished but he would get smaller punishments from her” I explained. 

“So you took his blame most of the time?” Seonghwa asked and I nodded. “She finds every little thing to blame him and when I finally stood up for him, she said I could take his punishment. So she would starve Mingi and me but then she’d give me the choice. She'd give me one plate of food for a whole week which I'd sneak little bites but gave the rest to Mingi. Or if he was locked away in heat, she would get physical with me” I explained and I couldn’t look at any of them. 

“y/n knows… she has the records of your abuse in a file. She was hoping you and Mingi could clear things up” Hongjoong said and I shook my head. I subconsciously fiddled with the collar she gifted me.

“Mingi would never believe me… and I never corrected him. I let him hate me cause it was easier that way. I told him he’d regret me being here… so I’m sorry” I apologized and Wooyoung now got closer to me and opened the fridge. 

“If you’re gonna leave you should at least have a good meal” he muttered and I was shocked. “We’re not gonna stop you from doing anything but…we also can’t just let you go without nothing,” Seonghwa said and I noticed San was missing. 

“He isn’t gonna tell her…” Yeosang confirmed and I didn’t believe him until I saw him again. “She had some clothes for you to try on that she was planning on giving you eventually,” he said, handing me a trench coat and warmer clothes. Hongjoong also appeared with money… “This should get you around for a week,” he said and I nodded. 

“Why?” I asked confused and they shrugged. “You’re really unhappy… you can fool Mingi but everyone else can see how upset you are. Even if she can… she was planning on taking you back or finding someone to adopt you but if you're running away then there's no point” Hongjoong said and I didn’t want to cry in front of them. 

“This should be good for you, make sure to eat well” I heard as I saw Wooyoung hand me a lunch box and I couldn’t stop the tears. 

“I’m sorry I caused so much trouble” 

@wonuangel @danirael @angelsaway @krissroo @minkysmilk @mayonnaise-on-toast @robertsbbygirl @superbbananananana @hyukssunflower @kitty4hwa @justconniez @senpai-of-doom @kibs-and-bits @caityelise99 @ilovekinny @ateezennie23 @wooahaelemons @purplelady85 @watamotee33@chidess97 @littlelostdemonofthelight @maliamaiden @burntarm1n @spooo00oky @eastleighsblog @momo-peachy @kitstar1117 @quartzpirate

@sunnyhokyu @iwishiwasrichasfuck @theginger543210 @pandolinka @ddaeing @kpopnightingale @slid3er @kekdo-520 @puppyminnnie @sparklinghwa222 @calicanbeevil @itsvxlentine @atinism @loumin908 @smally97 @rxnexxi @acetruepunk @majesticbeluga @namjooncrabs @tashizxy @itstheghostofmypast @smilefordongil @teeziny @totallynotlyntv @kyeos4ng @prodsh00ky @acescavern

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[azzibuckets]

knot [pazzi]

paige bueckers x azzi fudd

summary: a little blurb inspired by azzi’s recent tiktok of her and paige at the madison reed shoot | masterlist

word count: 800

Paige loves the color purple.

Paige loves Azzi Fudd.

So to say Paige loves when Azzi Fudd is in purple would be an understatement. It had started off simple; the hair stylist Madison Reed had sent over had asked Azzi what colors she’d wanted to experiment with. Fully expecting Azzi to go with pink, as she’s done with everything else - her blankets, her favorite sweaters, her phone case and keychain - when the younger girl had opened her mouth and said purple, Paige’s mouth had dropped. And when Azzi had glanced over at her and smiled that sweet dimpled smile, she felt as if she’d just fallen a little more in love with her girlfriend.

And it just kept getting better. Brittany, who was in charge of styling the girls for the photoshoot, had decided to deck Azzi out in full purple to match her violet tinged hair: a red, pink, and purple stripped button up that she’d teasingly hiked up and bunched together at her waist, right above that belly button piercing and the line of her abs, and plum colored jeans that hugged Azzi’s ass a little too well.

Safe to say, Paige was a little too excited to drag Azzi into the bathrooms after the photoshoot.

“I like this pink on you.” Azzi caught a strand of dyed hair between her thumb and forefinger, examining it before twirling it around slowly. “You look sexy.”

Paige’s lips fell into a pout. “Don’t I always look sexy?”

Azzi smirked, her pupils darkening as her fingers dropped to the top button of Paige’s shirt, teasing it slowly out of its stitch. “Now you look especially sexy,” she corrected, her thumb brushing across Paige’s clavicle in a tantalizing trail.

“This shirt looks good on you.” Paige settled her hands on Azzi’s bare waist, enjoying the flex of Azzi’s abs under her palms as she backed her girlfriend into the counter sink. She pressed a gentle kiss to her jaw, not wanting to mess up any of her makeup. “But I’d like it better without the knot.” Her hands reached for the bottom of her shirt, eyes eager as she attempted to unravel the knot until her hands were slapped away.

“Owww,” Paige complained dramatically, her pout deepening.

“Not here,” Azzi warned with a roll of her eyes. “What’s everyone gonna say when I come out with my shirt undone?”

“Let them talk,” Paige whispered into her ear. Her head dipped into the crook of Azzi’s neck, breath hot on her skin. “Please, baby, you look so pretty,” she begged, her voice throaty and needy. “I gotta see you.” She pressed another kiss to Azzi’s neck, this time wetting the area with her tongue and sucking a little before pulling back with a little sigh.

Azzi shook her head fondly, running a hand softly through Paige’s scalp before pulling her in for a kiss. They moved carefully, hands lightly cupping each other’s jaws, breaths uneven and short, not wanting to lose all control in a bathroom while twenty people waited for them outside.

“Fuck, Az.” Paige forced herself to pull away, panting a little as she caught her breath. Lacing a hand with Azzi’s, she pressed her forehead to hers as she lightly squeezed her fingers. “Let me.”

“You’re trouble,” Azzi groaned. When Paige pressed another kiss to her lips, bright blue eyes hopeful, she relented. “Fine, but be quick.”

A grin overtook Paige’s face as she made quick work of the knot. The shirt promptly fell apart, but instead of immediately touching her, Paige merely stared in admiration as she pushed the shirt away from Azzi’s stomach and looked.

“Stop.” Azzi turned away and blushed. It sparked something fiery inside of her, Paige unashamedly studying her body as ifbit was a work of art. It must have been the millionth time she’d been vulnerable and open like this in front of the older girl, but it still felt like the first time, when Paige had been nervous, voice cracking and fingers trembling as she asked if it was okay to touch her. Now, years later, as her hands rested on Paige’s neck and her fingers felt Paige’s fluttery pulse quicken under her touch, the way Paige’s throat bobbed as she swallowed, it still felt the same - Paige swearing under her breath and thanking God that she was so lucky to find Azzi.

“Why would I stop? You’re fucking perfect.” Paige’s hands slipped easily across her abdomen, tracing patterns on her ribs as they wandered freely. “God, you’re not real.”

When they came out of the bathroom ten minutes later, Paige’s hair slightly mussed, both of their lips swollen and wet, Azzi’s shirt done in a haphazard, tangled knot that had almost no resemblance to how it looked before, Ice’s eyebrows shot up. “No fucking way,” she mouthed. “In the bathroom?”

Paige smirked triumphantly while Azzi elbowed her friend, cheeks a bright red. “We did not fuck in the bathroom, thank you very much.”

“But we almost did,” Paige added gleefully, earning a smack to the neck from her girlfriend.

[velvetvexations]

It's amazing how quickly I've started seeing triggering shit. I thought it would take a little while for things to really start moving, like, that it'd take a bit of time for them to cut the ribbon on the first death camp, but no immediately it's this and this and this. Truly inescapable now.

If you ever said the words "99% Hitler" unironically I hate you worse than the fascists themselves, honestly. Fucking rich idiots living in your safe blue states. Virtue signaling clout-obsessed motherfuckers. Vapid superficial morons who couldn't care about a single other person in their life depended on it. You will always be more personally offensive to me than than any MAGA guy because they're the way they are and there's very little we can do about that, but when did you become this miserable, disgusting thing you are? Were you always just wearing the skin of progressive values or did the light in your eyes go out when you realized how popular contrarian politics are? Tankie motherfuckers want so badly to be the ones cannibalizing their neighbors like in the Cultural Revolution but they know that's never happening and are just grifting to fuel their endless egos.

I'm sorry, this is just going to make my life like, a regular hell, and I already struggled so badly with depression and a million other things, it was so hard just dealing with things on the state level. I saw something about Meta's new hateful content policy* and I'm kinna going insane at the level of dystopia we're entering when things looked so bright and hopeful just ten years ago. I want to compare this to the past and how we lived through that, but even back when I was a kid and queers were outsiders we weren't being targeted this extensively. Being on the margins was better than being dragged out into the town square and publicly executed.

And already people are like..."well Trump only mentioned trans women" like hey does it...does it feel good to see something like that and then immediately run to your favorite dying social media website to weaponize it against other queers? Do you realize that's what you're doing? You're using the brutalization of your "sisters" as a cudgel because you've decided other trans people are a good target to soothe your insecurity and puff yourself up, and when you do talk about stuff that actually harms us it's purely to use as a sword in that bullshit crusade.

I don't know how to end this post. I'm scared and exhausted. I want to die but I'm just going to go back to bed instead and listen to this six hour Signalis video and pretend that nothing else exists.

*don't talk to me about it

[deeplyshalllow]

I will agree with you that Fiyero is woefully underused in the musical, so we do have to use what we have to decipher what information we do have about him. Either way is headcanon.

However, this is what we get from act 1:

1) He is good at lying to people about who he is, all while being able to make himself likable

2) He is secretly unhappy and has been thinking about the day with the Lion Cub a lot

3) He takes the initiative to save Animals and help Elphaba, but in a way that doesn't immediately get them caught

With this in mind, along with his bitching in Thank Goodness and the fact that he immediately turns on the Wizard and runs off with Elphaba the moment he has a chance, I think it’s a much more plausible headcanon that he has always been working as a double agent than your headcanon that he’s decided instead to randomly embrace being a fascist.

“You're basing your interpretation of his character on speculation — because it is somewhat difficult, in some ways, to reconcile the compassionate boy we saw in the woods with the fascist commander he's become by Act II — but I'm basing my reading on sheer text; on the actions and statements on the page.”

Oh honey, you are so close!!! Maybe it’s hard to “reconcile the compassionate boy we saw in the woods with a fascist commander” because he isn’t one? Maybe if you “read by sheer text; on the actions and statements on the page” you’d realise that his actions in act one don’t make sense in act two if you read him as part of the regime? Are you sure you’re not “basing your interpretation of his character on speculation” because you don’t like Fiyeraba?

“Saying you'd totally join the Gestapo instead of the Resistance if given the chance — because of "resources and information" — is not the winning argument you think it is, I'm sorry, lol.”

Oh sorry, Fiyero should have just gone down to the resistance job shop and got a top post there! The resistance that, as far as we know, basically doesn’t exist, as it doesn’t seem like Elphaba has got much help either (we know there’s rebel Animals that shelter her, but she’s also at the point where she tries to beg her father for help and seriously considers just giving up and joining the Wizard). It is probably endlessly easier for Fiyero, especially with his connection to Glinda to get into the Gale Force.

You also completely ignored my second part of the argument. Someone has to do this job, if it’s not Fiyero it’s someone a lot worse. We know Fiyero has compassion for Animals, we know Fiyero wants to protect Elphaba (we literally see him doing so three times in act 2). If Fiyero places himself in command, however grim it might be, he now has some degree of control over Oz’s army and how much damage they can do to the Animals and Elphaba.

“None of which was REMOTELY planned, or even likely.”

It wasn’t planned that he’d meet her in the throne room, no, but it certainly was planned, by putting himself as the head of the search for the Witch, that if she was found in a dangerous situation he could get her out of it. He manages to get all his guards away and for her to escape safely, he couldn’t have done this if he’d been in any other position.

If you’re talking about the wider context, no obviously Glinda taking over wasn’t planned from this. But you told me him being in the Gale Force achieved nothing, it saved Elphaba’s life and allowed the ending to happen.

“Yes, she was literally forced into that, lol. Claiming she wasn't forced into her position when she was literally captured and molded into an asset of the regime — and then moralizing about her trying to make the best out of her literal enslavement — whilst somehow insisting that Fiyero going out of his way to enlist as an armed servant of the regime wasn't "endorsing the regime", is actually absurd.”

Oh don’t you fucking dare. Don’t you patronise Glinda by saying she didn’t have a choice. Don’t you ignore those quotes I gave you showing how she enjoyed it. Even her sad verse in Thank Goodness imply she joined because she wanted it (and only later found out it wasn’t quite how she planned). No one was going to imprison her, (you think my headcanons are wild lol), in the movie she literally only went to follow Elphaba because Morrible told her to, in the play she was given a little more agency, but she still made it very clear she was going to “get her back”, there’s literally no reason at all to enslave her, even in their eyes she’s done nothing wrong.

But ok, let’s take your “enslavement” fantasy scenario. Fiyero is literally the next candidate for Morrible to “enslave”, she knows he and Elphaba were at least tentative friends, she might even have realised he was also absent after the day with the Lion Cub, he’s dating Glinda and his royal connections and fame and likeability make him a useful asset. If Morrible really is blackmailing people to join her on trumped up charges, it would be very easy for her to either use the Lion Cub situation to blackmail into it, or threaten to hurt Glinda if he does not.

Sounds far-fetched? Yeah, you’re right. He joined willingly. Like Glinda.

“He acted on spontaneous desire, as he always does, and is a nihilist who never gave a shit about any of the things (or people) he cast to the wind to begin with. "He lost everything" — and you expect me to find that brave and romantic, I take it? I don't. Throwing caution and care aside to run off and have a passionate night with the object of his affects isn't WRONG — and I've never said that it is — it's foolish and selfish and impulsive.”

This is headcanon.

This is canon: he pointed a gun at the Wizard to help Elphaba escape. He had to escape too. (Did they have to have sex in the woods? Obviously not, but that’s kind of not really here or there, the egg was already broken, might as well make an omelette).

“He doesn't think about the potential consequences of abandoning Glinda; for never cared about either his own safety or hers,”

I’m sorry, are you really blaming Glinda telling Morrible and the Wizard to spread a rumour about hurting Nessa on Fiyero? Talk about fucking victim blaming.

I’d argue he cares a lot about Glinda’s safety actually, it’s pretty telling that all three times he saved Elphaba in act 2 (funny, you haven’t mentioned that in my reply) he leaves Glinda in a place where she not only is safe but can’t possibly be seen and arrested for supporting Elphaba. As for his own safety? Well he secures it in the throne room, by the cornfield scene he’s sort of out of options – so he gets his girls to safety and sacrifices himself – that’s not not knowing the consequences, it’s deciding he is ok with them.

“When he makes "plans", they're all very ad hoc and making resourceful use of situations that he absolutely did not (and could not) have planned for.”

Not the Elphaba faking her own death plan! That must have taken days as the scarecrow. And careful manoeuvring of everything involved!

“I think it's a bit sad that he behaves that way tbh: because it speaks to his pretty hollow existence, as Elphaba herself identified.”

Well I have happy news for you! He no longer has a hollow existence! That’s literally what act two is trying to tell us!

Elphaba: Fiyero, you frightened me. I thought, I though you might have changed. Fiyero: I have... changed. *

You’ve got me seeing through different eyes Somehow I’ve fallen under your spell and somehow I’m feeling it’s up that I fell

[Wicked Act II spoilers]

[edited for tone and clarity of purpose, apologies for initial crudeness and frustration]

Okay, obviously I'm biased, but I'm gonna need the Fiyeraba shippers to please set a lot of your people straight about some things. I've seen way too many people trying to say that Glinda is just a selfish bimbo and that Fiyero is a virtuous and selfless figure more worthy of Elphaba's love. I'll set aside for now the idea of "worthiness" in this context. But let's start off with Fiyero joining the Wizard. Hoo boy...

Yes, he was initially somewhat less tolerant of the propaganda against Elphaba than Glinda was; yes, he was secretly trying to find her so he could run away with her or whatever. But honey: those facts DO NOT fully absolve his actions as the Wizard's top officer, or selfish recklessness throughout Act II. I see so many popular threads and posts romanticizing and whitewashing with "oh but he didn't REALLY join the Wizard, he just pretended so he could try to get to Elphie! It's all for love, and he sacrificed everything for her!" As if the literal captain of the literally fascist forces responsible for the oppression of Animals wasn't equally responsible for said oppression?? Hello? Fiyero really didn't think of seeking out Elphaba in ANY other way that DIDN'T involve becoming *checks notes*... the trusted leader of the troops committing all the abuses she's fighting against in the first place???? Like it's cool and all that he helped with Brrr, and it's all well and good that he planned on betraying the Wizard as soon as he found Elphaba (which took literal years, so I guess we're left to assume he was prepared to just keep doing fascism indefinitely if she didn't show up????), but uh... it's kind of concerning to how eager some of you are to make excuses for this dude volunteering as the head of the Ozian Gestapo??? smdh

He didn't accomplish anything from it either, by the way — like yeah, we get it, he did everything he did whilst silently fantasizing about running away with the Witch he was being paid to hunt. Fine. But I can't be the only one who doesn't buy that as an actual excuse???? Like, guys: nobody forced him to join the fascist army — even with crazy ulterior motives. He wasn't coerced into it; it wasn't his only choice or anything. Searching for Elphaba did not somehow compel him to go and volunteer to follow (or to give!) orders in the name of the dictator who was trying to have her assassinated the entire time. He could have just not done all that. (Genuinely so curious how the second film plans on covering that material tbh)

Glinda made several questionable decisions that can be (and have been) debated, but she is still very unambiguously a victim. Her position in the Wizard's regime was foisted upon her. There are things we can discuss, but I find that many folks need reminding that Glinda would undoubtedly have been disposed of (or worse) if she failed to make herself useful. I mean hell: she wasn't even supposed to meet the Wizard in the first place — she was only there because of Elphie. If she'd tried to resist, it would have immediately gotten her labeled the Witch's accomplice. As soon as she'd chosen not to get on the broom, her fate was out of her hands, and all available options were varying degrees of horrible.

That's not the case with Fiyero. He went to the Wizard all on his own; no one ever cornered or forced him into it. Thinking Animals are people, and having a crush on Elphaba, simply did not stop him from carrying out the regime's orders — for years. It's not clear exactly how long he's been captain at the start of Act II, but the clear implication is that he's been a soldier for most of the time skip. I've seen Fiyeraba accounts with headcanons about him acting as a double agent, secretly doing stuff to help Animals — and that's a great idea, it would indeed serve to make a lot of his actions way more palatable — but until we actually get to SEE some of that (maybe they'll add it for the movie version of Act II; we'll have to see), there is nothing in the story to suggest that. He certainly didn't do a damn thing for all those Animals who were enslaved and caged in the Wizard's palace — and we don't see a single other Animal outside of there in Act II, so as far as we know Fiyero has participated over those years in the near-total removal of Animals from Ozian society. In the name of "finding Elphaba". Not fighting for her cause. Just finding HER. For HIMSELF.

It's fine to have a ship you like, obviously — and there is genuinely a lot to like about Fiyeraba, I don't dislike the idea of them as a couple or as friends — but come on guys: please stop those out there idealizing Fiyero as somehow a clear "morally-superior" alternative to Glinda, lol. The dude had power, access, and opportunities, for years, that he could have wielded in any number of really selfless, revolutionary ways. He didn't. And I propose (apparently controversially): he simply didn't want to. And that — at the end of the day — is (much as some would like to deny it) true to his character. He always WANTED to be self-absorbed and shallow, and all his actions are consistent with that. Elphaba saw depth and discontentment in him, yes: but (and I cannot stress this enough) when given the chance, he channeled that in the wrong direction. He didn't confront that and become a better person — for the most part he just displaced and projected it onto Elphaba as an object of obsession, and put on an even thicker pretense than before.

All his actions — regardless of the complexity he has deep down — are those of a man who never gives one fuck about anything or anyone, except (kinda sorta) Elphaba. But even then: at no time does the care he has for her seem to extend to caring about any of her wants or needs outside of sexual validation from him, or how she might feel about his actions, or indeed the impacts of those actions upon her, her cause, or anyone or anything else. I don't think it should be all that controversial to say: he doesn't think through the wider repercussions of anything he does — thoughtlessness is just one of his core character traits. He doesn't think ahead or see meaning in anything outside of what can temporarily excite him, in the moment. I think people place a little too much weight on Elphaba clocking him with regard to his internal pain, and seem to expect (understandably of course) that she is not only right, but moreover that he will grow from that in a positive direction, based on her influence.

But he doesn't. If anything, we get a surprising inverse: he pretty much proves her wrong. Not to say he didn't have hidden depth and all that, like she said: but his hypothetical heart of gold proves not to really amount to much in practice. He doesn't grow out of his shallowness and his self-centeredness: he grows into it in a way that he hadn't quite yet in school. Where once he was only masking an internal listlessness, after he's been cracked open by Elphaba he decides to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow, not just coasting by. He performs in new ways — as a soldier, eventually as a "fiancé", etc. — but by Act II we meet a Fiyero who has staked the last remaining shred of humanity in him on the vain pursuit of the only object of his desire that has ever been unavailable to him, and firmly chosen to say to hell with everyone and everything else.

When put to the test, Fiyero sacrifices Glinda, the Animals, and all else that Elphaba actually cared about, to pursue his own unresolved crush from college. Mostly to get in her pants, really — as harsh as I'm sure that sounds. But let me be frank: that is literally all he ever accomplishes in the show. He gives her dick one time, and one of his castles, and that's it. That's the culmination of his years trying to find her — years in which he actively worked as one of the stormtroopers (or even the one commanding them) committing untold crimes against Animalkind (who, again, it seems have been all but erased from Oz by Act II): y'know, the very crimes Elphaba sacrificed her life to try and stop????? He spent the most important time of his life — of his own free will — being a fascist soldier, but he "did it for her" somehow, so according to some, it's perfectly fine. Heroic, even. Yikes??

But let's make something very clear (since my original version of this post caught a lot of flak, including slurs and other rudeness):

I like Fiyero. I find his role extremely interesting (I could do a whole dissertation on him, but I'm especially a fan of the way his proving Elphaba's assessment of him wrong presents a fascinating parallel and contrast with Glinda, which I think is lost on a lot of people). But PLEASE stop with all the misguided Glinda slander and idealization of Fiyero. By all means, thirst! But don't give me all this bullshit about him deserving Elphaba more, or being super deep, or being really principled or noble or whatever else. He does have layers, and quite intriguing ones, but his insides are straw — he isn't meant to have some deep, overwrought emotional core or motivations; he has passions that he acts upon when given the chance. That's it. And that's fine. Actually kind of refreshing in a story rooted in simple children's fantasy but rife with intensely complicated personalities. Fiyero makes it his mission to represent denial of depth and embrace of raw, spontaneous desire — and I for one love that, and wish others appreciated it.

And in all seriousness, shipping wars aside: by the end of the story, it's Glinda who is ultimately vindicated, and has — for all her faults — made the necessary choices to fulfill Elphaba's wishes, bring down the regime, etc. And all that despite herself. She's miserable: not just because of the mistakes she made, but because of her correct moves as well. Fiyero is simply not — and could never be — that person. And that's okay! Like I said: I am not anti-Fiyero. Fiyero's willingness to throw it all away for the sake of sheer, overriding passion is a huge part of what people like about him, of course — and it's an obvious factor in the attraction between him and Elphaba, because she has her own flavor of that impulse as well — but I'd actually argue that it's not romantic, it's his fatal flaw. And thematically that's fantastic! But I just don't believe that it somehow means he "deserves Elphaba more" because he "gave up his life for her" or whatever. In part because NOBODY truly "deserves" Elphie tbh, not 100% (and I question anybody who claims otherwise), but ultimately because I don't accept the idea that his fleeting acts of passion make up for all the shit leading up to them (or even proceeding after them tbh). At least Glinda managed to do what Elphaba always wanted in the end — but I would die on this hill even if Gelphie didn't exist.

You don't have to agree with my analysis of Fiyero and his choices, relationships, etc. — that's fine. What isn't fine is trying to portray Glinda as some kind of spineless traitor whore for the Wizard and Fiyero as a conscientious hero who earned Elphie through self-sacrifice. That's just not the story that was written. It's WAY messier and more interesting than that.

[arannellahowlett]

Little Bird: Prologue

Note: Here is the prologue to a new series that has creeped its way into my brain. Please note that while reader has literally just turned 18....nothing actually happens between her and John...yet. This part is just to give some background and a kind of....get to know them.

Warnings: none really

Summary: Meet Y/N Laswell, Kate's niece who at the age of 18, gains her soul mark, which just happens to match the mark Lieutenant John Price recieved that morning.

Soul marks, everyone had them, but not everyone found their soul mate, often just missing out on a love of a lifetime. The marks typically appeared when a person turned 18, it could be anything but would match, looking like a tattoo. Sometimes though, that mark did not present until later…sometimes not at all. A delayed mark was usually caused by the other person not being 18 themselves, a mark that never appeared, meant that the one that you were meant for…had died before you turned 18. At 24 years old, Lieutenant John Price did not have a mark, and he wasn’t particularly worried about it.

John’s main concern was doing his job and keeping the world safe. If he happened to gain a mark, then so be it, he would still have to find the person and then hope that they’d understand why his job was so important, because he would not be leaving it.  John simply went on with his life, doing what he needed to do, and periodically, he would check to see if he had gained a mark somewhere, a small part of him disappointed when he’d find nothing but bare skin.

---

At the age of 17, Y/N Laswell stood next to her aunt, beyond excited about working as her assistant, despite the nature of the job. Technically Y/N shouldn’t have been anywhere near the job, but she had graduated high school  early and had wanted to explore her options, her Aunt Kate had an opening and Y/N was more than happy to be away from her parents and travelling the world for the summer before deciding what she wanted to do…What she hadn’t realized was that the job of assistant to  a CIA agent, was just as dangerous as being one.

Less than a week into the job Y/N had managed to find herself in a rather sticky situation. It really wasn’t her fault, or at least that was what she told people. She’d seen the files, saw that they needed someone to deliver the intel…and as a good assistant, did just that. The problem was that it had been a trap and members of the British Special Forces had come to her rescue, the squad rescuing her being led by her Aunt Kate’s friend John. Y/N expected a lecture from the man, to be told to leave things to the ‘adults’, but he didn’t.

Instead, he’d looked her over and once satisfied she was in one piece, ushered her out of the building and out to safety with a simple “C’mon little bird, let’s get you back to your aunt.” Aunt Kate however did lecture her.

---

Several months later, Y/N continued to see John and his squad around here and there. His squad was always on the move, but they always stepped in to help Aunt Kate when called, no questions asked. The lieutenant was always nice to be around, and Y/N felt drawn to him, seeking him out when he was around. She finally admitted to herself that she had a crush on the older man, if he noticed, he didn’t seem to care, he was friendly and he and his team, when they had the time, helped teach her how to defend herself if needed and made sure she knew what to do in a pinch.

The morning of Y/N’s 18th birthday was a morning like any other. She got up, got dressed for the day and headed out to get breakfast, on this week, she and her aunt were stationed in London at an army base, Kate was looking for a terrorist and the SAS were happy to be of service. Arriving at the mess hall, Y/N was started by a tingling sensation on her chest and took off to the bathroom to see what was going on. When she got there, she unbuttoned her blouse, just enough to look at the spot just above her heart, once bare, now there was a soul mark. It was simple, a white dove in flight, with what could only be a Union Jack in the background.

Y/N traced it lightly, smiling and excited to know that she did in fact have a soul mate…somewhere. The real challenge was going to be finding this person. However, the Union Jack may have made it much easier.  She took out her phone, snapped a photo of the mark and ran off back to the mess hall, hungry and excited to tell her aunt that she had got her mark. By the time that she had grabbed food and sat down, Kate had almost finished eating.

“Where did you run off to in a hurry, don’t think I didn’t see that,” Kate mused as she read a report, sipping her coffee. Y/N simply smiled at her and passed her the phone, the photo open and ready to be seen.

“I got my mark” Y/N said, almost giddy. “The good news is, I at least get a hint, I either meet him in England, or he’s British…and oh look, where are we? Jolly old England.” I grinned at my aunt, watching as she analyzed the mark.

Aunt Kate hummed in response. “That one is nice, I’ve seen some awful ones…we’ll keep an eye out kid, it’s a big country but whoever they are, they’re meant for you. In the meantime, we have a terrorist to catch.

---

Kate was meeting with the SAS teams when one of the Lieutenant’s squad pointed out his mark. “Oi! Price, when did you go and get a tattoo? I woulda went!” Kate wouldn’t have even thought to care had John not sounded so shocked about it.

“What tattoo? I don’t have a…bloody hell, when did that get there?” John had rolled had pulled the sleeve of his T-shirt up just enough to see the new mark on his upper arm, a dove in flight in front of a Union Jack. “Well, I’ll be damned, never thought I’d get one of these.”

There were a lot of thoughts going through John’s head now, the main one being that he had no idea where to start looking, nor did he have the time. No matter, if he was meant to find the person, he would.

Kate barely turned her head to look before she did a double take. It matched perfectly to Y/N’s new mark. Y/N who was currently grabbing copies of several reports. Kate decided she was going to have to pull him off to the side. “Lieutenant, a word please?”

John excused himself from his squad mates before approaching. “Kate, what can I do for you?” he asked, one eyebrow up, and subconsciously rubbing his arm.

Kate nodded towards where his mark was. “New soul mark?”

John looked startled for about half a second. “Yeah, this mornin’, why?” Kate only smiled at him before patting him on the shoulder.

“You’d better be good to my niece John, or I’ll kill you myself. Welcome to the family.” With that, Kate walked off, headed in the direction of the General. John simply stood there flabbergasted with the mark still exposed.

When he finally turned around, Y/N stood there, mouth open and staring at his mark. His eyes looking over her, he could just see the outline of her own mark as it peaked its way through her white blouse. Head tilted, he sauntered over to her, blue eyes gazing into hers.

“Hello little bird.”

[sillygoofyqueer]

You know… if pangolin demons have teeth, they probably don’t need to swallow rocks to help them break down food.

Instead, maybe they can give their armored scales special properties by swallowing certain rocks! For example, if they copper they can get veins of copper in their scales. If they swallow enough gemstones, their scales start to become gemlike. Etc.

Also, let SY and Binghe be friends! Maybe when Binghe goes to select his sword, or is sent on some chore before that point, he meets Panyuan. Panyuan sees he’s sad, but a sweetheart, and decides to adopt him as an older brother.

Binghe is a Wan Jian disciple now, and there is nothing anyone can do about it! (I mean, they probably could do something about it, but Wei Qingwei won’t allow it. What Panyuan wants, Panyuan gets!)

Hello hello heellllloooo!!!

Firstly, excellent workaround for all this, because I wholeheartedly need Panyuan to eat rocks, I just think it would be so funny. Also!! The scales idea is so cute! And hilarious.

I mean, imagine you're Wei Qingwei, and different materials have been going missing - you just got a shipment of copper and it's lighter than you remembered it to be. You're confused, and you mention this casually to your precious son, asking if he knows where it has been. He stares up at you with his big guileless eyes, chewing on something that sounds suspiciously crunchy as he shakes his head. His scales are glimmering with the copper decorating them, and when you point it out he stares up at you blankly before indiscreetly shoving more copper into his mouth.

Your son is not a very good liar.

Also!!! While I completely agree that Panyuan and Binghe can be great pals, Wei Qingwei would never poach his shixiong's disciples <3 (He will, however, invite him over often because even Shen Jiu can't deny Panyuan's adorable eyes.) Also Shen Jiu is too busy focusing on Panyuan to care about Binghe outside of Panyuan being like "people are bullying my best friend (⁠っ⁠˘̩⁠╭⁠╮⁠˘̩⁠)⁠っ" and Shen Jiu is like "my disciples are unruly and cruel this cannot stand" (this is my comfort AU he's not going to be malevolent to Binghe)

Cut to Binghe being like "I'm in the woodshed" and both Shen Jiu and Wei Qingwei looking over like "literally why are you in there???" "I was told there wasn't any space" and then we shift to Ming Fan and co being like "I feel a sudden bout of fear...."

[mxjackparker]

"Having worked in a hotel both as a hospitality worker and as a hooker, I feel as though I'm in a particularly good place to discuss interactions between the two. Sex workers will often spend time in bars, restaurants and particularly hotels with our clients in ways that may make our profession obvious. Once we're spotted, hotel workers have to decide whether they're going to do anything about it."

A breakdown of the training that hotel workers get to spot sex trafficking, why it harms sex workers and fails to help victims of paid sexual abuse in equal measure, and what hotel workers should do instead.

After seeing so many people react to this post I made about leaving sex workers alone when you spot them in hospitality environments, I thought I'd provide a more comprehensive look into the supposed red flags and the reasons it's a bad idea to report those you suspect are being trafficked (not least because you're probably wrong)!

[lifenconcepts]

I absolutely agree with that and am SO happy to find someone similar to me!! I’ve never been one to hate on the shit another finds good but the popularised versions of identities being this half which is just sunshine and rainbows always feels a little unjustified for how much those same people which say ‘embrace the weird! Be yourself! Love others!!’ and say they support those which unapologetically go against what social norm has been formed, suddenly go from all kind to ‘yuck! How can you say that? That doesn’t seem right.. you’re not one of us!’ the very moment you mention you support real fur instead of faux, that hunting and genuinely mauling your food with your hands is okay, feel angry when another animal marks your home or vehicle, or any other variation of not being the ‘aesthetic therian’ others so believe is the ‘only’ way of being alterhuman.

The exact definition that’s been burned into our brains like a branding has gotten boring! There’s no right way to be yourself, because you’re the only one who knows what you actually look like! And no matter how much I see ‘alterhumanity is different for everyone’ I still tend to think that not all really get that into their brains. They take in the words but not the MEANING behind them. I want others to just blatantly face the facts that some find it nice, prefered in fact, to just want to be able to think and act like an animal. None of that explanation of why and how. (I love to find meaning behind everything but that’s simply because my soul craves knowledge) I too sometimes believe it to be great for the simplicity of a creature’s mind. You can enjoy harming another life without some twisted sense of pleasure (although that’s also fine. Huntings dogs were bred to hunt. Ofcourse they will be happy to hunt), to go where you walk simply because it’s what feels right (why must you understand the journey or destination in mind when birds migrate simply by how it feels and where is better? They don’t think ‘oh gee! It’s the 8th of September! I must get going to Portugal otherwise I may not survive the cold!’ Their minds subconsciously gather the temperature change and just vaguely understand they need to fucking go some place warm), and it feels irritating to fight for this in a community that claims to support and understand eachother alot- BUT ANIMALS DO NOT NEED TO EXPLAIN THEMSELVES! They don’t! They don’t decide to just casually start feeling some way and try change to be that, no! They feel a way, and so they are that. And that may change, it may be wrong, but who cares!? Emotion is emotion and sensation is sensation. Whatever feeling comes along then it’s that feeling which is invoked. This makes more sense with examples but I just had to get it off my chest.

You won’t find a flying squirrel explaining to another ‘look, I just don’t feel enough like a rodent enough because I’ve seen the air like the birds and bugs, perhaps I’m not made for this body because I love the air as must as the trees. Is it so wrong?’ No. It’s just living as it fucking needs to, eats shits walks and floats, and will die when it needs to. Our human minds allow for a lot more to do and various things to come of it, but they also are just so much of a plague of questions that assault simple activities. Ah- I could go on for hours, but everyone needs to know that an alterhuman will be alterhuman even if they don’t explain themselves. Maybe someone misunderstood themselves but to what extent does it even matter? Maybe it’s chosen maybe it’s involuntary but why are you policing another? Is life showing any sign of rules? Sure, patterns exist, and there may be exceptions for moral wrong doing, but in the end it’s always up to subjective perception to decide what is right for you. We already have human-made rules, it’s called the law. Don’t kill or abuse others, don’t steal and destroy another’s property, and the rest is up to your grubby little hands to decide (some laws are idiotic I will admit).  And I needed to get this out for a long time but damn it- ALLOW others to exist without a label! Allow yourself to go unlabelled! It’s a common practice but it’s not as neccesary! Do you know how much agony you’ll be spared if you stop going ‘well how much of a Therian am I? What counts as Otherkin? Have I experienced any symptoms of So-and-so in the past month?’ And rather spot what makes you feel better in your body, what brings happiness, and what you do often. The cause ain’t even all that neccesary to understand unless you want to. Just focus on what you feel like and what you want to see in yourself and then you can go all ‘let’s find a word for this’. Honestly. The English language has already so many words, and that’s not even taking into account those which grown lost with time. You really think newly-made terms don’t hold as much value? Or that a single word must explain your own mind and body? Your soul is boundless, but able to be gazed upon at times. So why limit yourself to fit into a new box just to claim you ‘escaped the system!!’ as you once more alter yourself and grow bound to mere words and a fear for others judging you.

Okay that’s a bit off topic now, thanks for the opportunity to ramble, but yeah. Let animals be animals. And animals don’t need to explain themselves, they can blatantly do whatever feels good or right at the moment without it having define their entire existence or life. Animals can be dirty, mean, confusing, nasty, dangerous, scary, but still have nice qualities. And even if not, it is not their fault.

Never ever mistake me. I am not just in favor of the uwu romantic version Being An Animal. It's not all moodboards and waxing poetic about tails/wings/etc and running in the forest wild and free. All of that stuff is GOOD and FINE and a nice outlet for all flavors of nonhumans, please do not stop engaging with that sort of thing. I'm talking about me also wanting to embrace the gross and so-called ugly and less fortunate aspects of animality. like when you're wrestling a large prey animals into submission so you can eat that day but it fuckin Gets You with a claw/antler/horn/hoof/beak/etc and suddenly you're hurt real bad. Lost an eye, a toe, half your tail. Got a permanent limp from being stomped so hard that will make hunting difficult so you may not live your full natural lifespan. dying of severe cold or heat and then your body decomposing slowly, being food for other things. scent marking with piss, shit, musk. being young and inexperienced so you go without food for days cuz you can't hunt for shit.

there is no part of animality that is something I don't desire. I want it all, because all of me is animal. does it suck to downgrade from human sized complex brain to smaller wolverine brain? No not really! I am not mourning the loss of things I never asked for in the first place. sure I could say that woo, less complex brain means less capacity for things to go wrong, but that is a very human lens to look through. does a wolverine know it's "lucky" that it cannot have certain human mental illnesses because its brain may not be that complex? no, and that's why I'm not worried. I could turn into one fully physically overnight and then die stupidly 2 years later and that would still be ideal. sure I also may romanticize some things in ways that are not really Natural for my species, like how I think places that feel like Home just seem so beautiful to me, but no damn animal is perfect. I am allowed a couple flaws. several, in fact, lmao.

I Crave It All

[corvid-language-library]

A life-changing moment

I was thinking the other day about how I came to be in Japan, and how my life could've been so very different had I not gone with my brother on the day he left for university.

You see, I had no interest in going to uni at age 16. Mostly because I was severely depressed and figured I wasn't going to make it to the end of my teens. My plans largely revolved around my band getting famous, or getting a book published, or being discovered by some acting talent scout (despite having exactly zero talent for acting) or something. I hated school and the thought of doing more school just sounded unbearable. My brother was the clever, academic one; not me. So when I went with him that morning in late September, I didn't expect anything to change.

Except I fell in love with the place. It wasn't school; it was a whole new world, with a lake and stunning architecture and gardens and people walking around in the kind of clothes I got bullied for wearing. So I did a complete 180 and decided (much to my father's despair) that I did want to go to uni after all.

While I was at uni, I made friends from all walks of life. All corners of the world. Specifically, Norway.

A couple of years later, I decided I missed being able to speak a second language (my French had been pretty good years before, but I'd forgotten most of it by that point). It was a toss-up between German, Norwegian and Finnish. German because I already knew some, had a cousin living in Cologne and figured it would be useful. Finnish because my music and pole dance idols were Finnish. Norwegian because I had a handful of friends I met at uni from Norway. I decided I wasn't that passionate about German, which left Finnish and Norwegian.

I decided on Finnish.

Went to the bookstore ready to start my journey. I went to the language section and... not a single book on Finnish. But there was a single Teach Yourself Norwegian book. And so, I picked that up instead, and thus started my Norwegian journey.

Fast forward a little and I find myself on langblr. I make lots of langblr friends and even, for a time, run a semi-popular blog. Norwegian was my one true love, of course; nothing could change that. Until someone I'd admired for years started learning Japanese. It was a language I'd always been somewhat interested in but completely adamant I could never learn because it's "too difficult". But seeing her study it made me curious. "Maybe I'll just try to learn some hiragana," I told myself.

If you've known me long enough, perhaps you'll remember that phase I went through where I completely denied I was learning Japanese. "I'll get bored of it," I kept saying. "It's fun right now because I'm in the beginner stage, but as soon as I have to put effort into it I'll give up."

And then I bought a nice notebook and a Japanese textbook and I started making flashcards and practising kanji. Oops.

Covid happened. I started teaching English online because I couldn't teach pole from home and I needed a new source of income. I liked it, but I hated being stuck behind a desk. I wanted to teach in a real classroom. I knew the possibility of getting a TEFL job in Norway was next to zero, especially with Brexit and all. But Japan...

And so I looked into it. And now I'm here.

I wonder how different my life would have been had I, on that unassuming Sunday morning in late September, opted to stay at home and play video games. Would I have ever gone to visit my brother at uni? Probably not; I didn't drive, and that's the year my mum got cancer and I got my first boyfriend, so it's not like I'd have had much inclination to go visit. And had I not seen that campus for myself, would I ever have gone to uni? Would I have made Norwegian friends? Would I have chosen to study Norwegian? Would I have stumbled upon langblr? Would I have made the same langblr friends? Would I have felt inspired to just try learning Japanese?

Maybe I would've found a different route here. Maybe I'd have found myself somewhere completely different.

It seems so silly to think that my life-changing moment was, actually, just the choice to leave the house one day. And yet.

I don't really know what I'm trying to say here, if anything at all. Perhaps all I'm trying to say is that life-changing moments don't just come up to you and punch you in the face; they're the result of long chains of actions that spiral wildly out of control, all starting from an unassuming Sunday morning when you decided to leave the house instead of rotting at home.

[vodika-vibes]

All Of Me

Summary: When Rex and his Cyare get stranded on a planet far from the core, he decides to make the most of it.

Pairing: Captain Rex x F!Reader

Word Count: 888

Warnings: Reader is self conscious and shy, reader described as having hair long enough to hang over her shoulders.

A/N: I was in a Rex mood, so I wrote this. Also, my form list changed suddenly, so if I missed anyone in the tags that's why. Stupid google.

Click HERE to be added to my taglist

Her fingers are gentle as they brush through his short hair. It’s so soothing and relaxing that Rex can’t help but tilt his head back into her hand. Drowsily, he peers up at her, and affection swells in his chest at the soft look on her face, and the gentle smile that lifts her lips.

Rex is lounging in the hot spring, a towel around his waist to shield his modesty (as if it’s needed), and his beloved is sitting behind him on the edge of the pool, a towel wrapped around her body and her hair loose around her shoulders.

Her smile is becoming more and more rare these days. He’s more likely to see a stressed frown or a distracted look on her face recently. And, while he’s not thrilled about the fact that they were stranded here while on a mission, he supposes that there is a silver lining.  

“You’re staring,” Her voice is soft, and musical in a way that his and his brothers will never be. He falls in love with her all over again, every time she speaks to him.

“Can’t help it. You’re stunning.”

She averts her gaze shyly, “The things you say sometimes.”

“I mean every word.”

His beloved has always been self-conscious about her appearance. If he asked what she liked about herself, it would probably take her half an hour to come up with something that isn’t something she does for other people.

Rex, personally, thinks it’s ridiculous.

He could, and can, list ten things he loves about her without even thinking about it. He can talk about all of her good qualities for hours without getting tired, and without even mentioning her appearance.

He might be a little smitten.

It’s fine.

He’s allowed to be a little obsessed with his girlfriend.

A soft giggle pulls him from his thoughts, “You’re still staring, Rex.”

“I’m thinking about you.”

“Yeah? Good things, I hope?” Her fingers still trail through his short hair, and he sighs contently. 

“Only the best things.” He reassures her before he catches one of her hands and brings her fingers to his lips, “I love you, you know that?”

“I know, I love you too.”

“You deserve better than me.” Rex replies. He genuinely believes it. He’s a clone, and she’s an aide to a Senator. She could do so much better than him. But she only has eyes for him.

She just shakes her head, “I’m exactly where I want to be.”

He threads his fingers with hers, “Join me in the water, cyare?” It’s an offer and a plea. 

She looks momentarily surprised, “I didn’t want to crowd you.”

“You could never.” He holds her hand as she stands, and he supports her as she steps into the steaming water. And, when it looks like she’s going to step away from him, Rex doesn’t release her hand. Instead, he tugs her to sit next to him.

The water sits higher on her than on him, and the tips of her hair settle in the water. She really does look like some kind of fantasy princess. Absently, he reaches up to brush a stray strand of hair off her cheek, only for it to fall right back into place again.

“You have so much hair,” He teases lightly.

A smile lifts her lips, “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It makes up for the fact that I don’t have any.”

A laugh falls from her, and Rex grins before he leans in to press his lips against hers. The kiss is chaste, little more than a brush of his lips against hers, but when her free hand comes up to wrap around his bicep and his name falls from her lips in a sigh, he’s helpless but to swoop in and kiss her again and again and again.

His hand settles on her hip, squeezing tightly and pulling her closer to his side. She’s not close enough. She’ll never be close enough. She could be sitting on him and still wouldn’t be close enough.

She sighs his name again, and Rex chuckles as he presses his forehead against hers, “You sound lovesick, beautiful.”

“It’s your fault.”

“Guilty as charged.”

Yes, he is smug about that thank you.

“Can I—?” She hesitates, “Um…nevermind.”

“Mm, speak your mind, cyar’ika.”

She won’t meet his gaze, “Can I sit on your lap?”

Rex doesn’t answer, doesn’t have to answer. Because as soon as she makes the request (it wasn’t a request, he knows that, but he’s choosing to treat it as a request) he’s pulling her to sit sideways on his lap, “How’s this?”

She hums a response, her soft fingers moving to trace the starburst scar on his chest, as she lays her head on his shoulder. “Perfect.”

“You never have to ask, cyare. I belong to you. All of me belongs to you.” Rex replies.

She turns her head to kiss his shoulder, “Well then. I’m a lucky lady.”

“I think I’m the lucky one, actually.” Rex kisses the side of her head and tightens his arms around her as he lets the conversation fall. 

Eventually the ship will return and they’ll have to go back to being Captain and Senator’s Aide, but for now they can just be together. And he intends to make the most of it.

@heidnspeak

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@etod

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@wax-birds

[lemotmo]

💙💙💙 love love love. Please tell me you were the mutual she asked??

Q. I know we're all excited about 911 finally going there with Eddie and Buck but what do you think are actual realistic ways they can do that? In your opinion what's a believable way the show can give Eddie his oh moment? What's a realistic show way they can have their confession to one another? I cannot seem to settle on what I think are truly realistic expectations.

A. Full disclosure I struggled answering this, lol. Not because I couldn't think of ways the show could accomplish both of these things but because every scenario I came up with felt too fanfic. I mentioned it to my friend and he agreed basically saying I've clearly been reading too much fanfic, haha. But then I mentioned it to a mutual, and she said something that should have been obvious to me but truly didn't even occur to me. She said it's been 7 years in the making there's not really anything they can do at this point that hasn't happened in fanfic already. She's absolutely correct. I don't think 'realistic' expectations are necessary. Personally I like the idea of Eddie's OH moment occurring while he's in Texas with Buck nowhere around. On a momentary side note, I'm stunned by the number of people who truly don't think Eddie will go to Texas because I absolutely believe he's going and I think he'll be there for at least a couple of episodes. There are things Eddie needs to do in Texas. Conversations and forward movement between him and Christopher, that movement cannot happen off screen or over zoom. They have to film it. The audience has to see it. Eddie also needs to confront his parents on some level. At some point the show has to have characters be held accountable and face deserved consequences for their canon behavior. Completely ignoring Gerard's and Tommy's past problematic behavior in favor of quick and easy write-offs cannot be repeated with the Diaz parents. Eddie has earned that confrontation and frankly his character needs it in order for him to fully move forward.

Okay back to your question, my apologies for the sidetracked thought. The show was clearly mirroring season 5 to some degree in 8a. I see that continuing in 8b at least in some capacity. They cannot just do another shooting arc for Eddie so having him return to Texas, which is absolutely a regression for him, is another way to tear him down to the studs emotionally and mentally without physically tearing him apart again. I think most of us believe he's over corrected his Kim mistake by allowing Christopher to run away to Texas and avoid things instead of dealing with things, but it makes character sense for Eddie that he would allow Chris to do that. Most parents would tell their kid that they can be mad at them from home but Eddie didn't do that. He let Christopher decide for himself what he wanted to do. He gave Christopher the voice and choice his parents never gave him. Eddie's parents never asked him what he wanted or how he felt about anything. His opinions, his feelings and his own wishes were never given consideration when he was growing up. He was told what to do, when to do it and how to do it. Eddie doesn't know how to want things for himself. He doesn't know how to ask for them. He really doesn't even know who he fully is as a person. He has spent his entire life reacting to what life threw at him. He's never had many choices for himself. His parents, the church, fatherhood at a young age, military and then the fire academy. Eddie reacts to orders and circumstances. He doesn't make choices. The one choice he made for himself was choosing to move to L.A. Having him 'move' back to Texas means undoing the one choice Eddie has ever made for himself. It's the perfect way to get him to his OH moment. Dealing with his parents and the reminder of how he's never been good enough for them. The conversations he and Chris will need to have in order to mend what Eddie never meant to damage (there is an entire argument to be made that Kim is really the villain here because Eddie never invited her to his home and never asked her to act like Shannon but that's a separate post). Doing all of that without the constant comforting, reassuring presence of Buck will probably be eye opening for Eddie. Buck is the one person in his life who is always on his side. Buck always has his back. I like the idea of Eddie just being emotionally exhausted and realizing he would give anything to just be able to talk Buck in that moment because Buck would make him feel better just by being there. I don't think it would require much else for Eddie to get there at that point. A little montage or moment of Eddie realizing all the times he has actively chosen Buck, without even knowing it, and all the times Buck has been there for Eddie without him even needing to ask him. Eddie's moment coming like that seems fitting for him. I also like the idea of Buck having a little spiral once he realizes the full extent of his feelings but Eddie having a moment of relief when he realizes his feelings. A deep exhale of a breath he didn't even realize he had been holding his entire life. A realization that without even trying they have chosen each other time and time again. A new found clarity that his past relationships never felt fully right not because something was broken in him but because he was missing this piece of information about himself. They made a family and it wasn't hard. It wasn't difficult for them. It happened so effortlessly because it's what's right and meant to be for them and him. Then Eddie having a moment of actively, and purposely choosing Buck and their life and family of 3, and the rest of the 118 by extension, in L.A. That's what I want for Eddie.

The Buck and Eddie love confession is where I'm not sure Tim would be able to resist the big dramatic moment. Eddie and Chris back in L.A. and Eddie back with the 118. Neither he or Buck have told the other how they feel yet though. I can see them being on a call and maybe one of them gets trapped and they can't get to him immediately so he believes he's going to die and maybe just starts talking into his radio needing to say it before he dies. The one on the outside immediately knows what's happening and says 'no not like this and not here. You wait until we get to you and you tell me in person'. That way the audience knows what's coming but it allows Buck and Eddie to have the actual moment and confession between just the two of them at Eddie's house. On the couch or in the kitchen. I just really want their first kiss to be in one of those spots. But the truth is, for me anyway, there's no wrong way for them to do it. There is also no way to do it that will please everyone. Whatever way they choose will be fine with me. I will be sat, I will be giddy, I will be emotional and I will be flying. Just give it to me, please.

Thank you Nonny! Much appreciated! We can all use some Buddie distraction on a truly blue Monday like this one.

First of all... Was I the person she talked to? 😋

Well yeah. 🙂‍↕️

My exact words were:

"The problem is that the slowburn has been slowburning so long now that all of the possible 'confession' and 'first kiss' scenarios have been written over and over again. So no matter what the show comes up with, it will always feel a little fanficcy because of that."

I still stand by that. No matter how they will pull this off, somewhere someone will have already written it down in a fanfic. 🤷‍♀️ Not that I would mind one single bit. This fandom has the best writers.

And I've said it before and I'll say it again: I truly don't care how they'll pull Buddie off. I'll be happy no matter what. I'll scream, cry and go a little insane though, I admit it. 🤣

I like all of Ali's ideas on how they might come to their realisations and what the confession moment might look like. I agree with so much of it.

I'm also 100% sure that Buddie IS happening and that Eddie IS going to El Paso. He'll be there for a few episodes, no doubt about it. It's like Ali said, he needs his moment to shine. And I'll love every second of it, because I truly believe that Eddie deserves his happiness, but as long as he keeps denying himself 'joy', he'll never get that happiness.

He needs to break free from the shackles of other people's expectations and only then will he be able to pursue what he truly wants: happiness and joy, no matter what it looks like. And I believe that, in Eddie's case, it looks like his son at home in LA and embracing his romantic feelings for his best friend Buck.

I can't wait for the show to come back in March. I've missed my dysfunctional found family of firefighters so much. 🤗

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[blooddrinkingbartender]

Antonio was quiet for a moment more as he let Rook sort through the thoughts that were currently inside of her mind. He had a feeling that perhaps things were going to turn out in their favour. But perhaps he was just getting cocky.

"Sounds good to me," Antonio said, "And people are less likely to hear any screams in that club building, if I decide that some some gentle encouragement isn't going to get information."

Fear and imagined pain were equally effective, if not more, after all.

"It wouldn't hurt, and if you you'd like a bit extra, I could always see if I can get another sizeable asshole tax payment from a certain someone," Antonio said with a small grin, "I was thinking of another idea with him anyway."

But perhaps that could be saved for another time.

"I think I would be," Antonio said, with a nod, "That doesn't seem like something that would happen all that often, if it even has."

Not that he would know of course.

"I suppose that's true, gloves with that old standard blue with yellow stars on it, like in a kid's book about wizards," Antonio said, "I can imagine that not being helpful for you right now."

Or anytime. But right now, it was especially unhelpful.

"It would be similar to what we did today. But it wouldn't really matter if you fell asleep during it. It would be entirely up to you. I would either simply encourage your mind to give nicer dreams rather than the nightmares and keep the memories suppressed while you sleep so you can better face them awake. I could encourage your mind to help you take control of the nightmare and bend it to your whims instead. Perhaps you could make everything glitch like one of those Bethesda games if you wanted. Some people find a nightmare easier to face when they can change it like that."

Antonio allowed another pause so that Rook could take in for the moment.

"But ultimately, as I said before, Rook, when it comes to the methods like I used today, you're in control. I'm just simply the one holding the map and offering suggestions on where to go. Whether you choose to follow it or not is entirely up to you."

While Rook was still rightfully upset, she was feeling a little more confident they were going to give Five what he deserved. His weird revenge plot had kept him from prying vital information from her, they still had a few aces up their sleeves.

"I don't think they'd be stupid enough to try messing with my place. The ghosts are on high alert, we can probably count it as another safe spot." Rook said, tilting her head back, "I should get a better security system, maybe a magical lock."

Ironically enough, both would be expensive to source. Though that wasn't much of an issue anymore.

"You can tell a lot about a hunter from his favorite readings. You'd be surprised how many of them believe there's a goblin infestation in the city."

And perhaps she would find out how Five had learned about her.

"Well, there might be one reason. Killer Beans is metal as hell, but Mage Mittens sounds like a cozy pair of gloves."

Erica would have loved both and all things considered, she should probably leave it to the elf to provide advice on cat moves.

"Yes, I get nightmares." Rook replied, "It was getting a bit better after we paid dad a visit, but I know I'm going to go through all this stuff again as soon as I pass out."

And truth be told, a part of her still wasn't all that confident she was actually free from Five's control.

"…How would that work?"

[kumikokane]

Moonlight song competition cards

SR Whitney R. Bristol

"O-oh man, there's so many people... I sure hope March actually got the dress code correct."

SR March Hawthorne

"Hah! Nah, I totally nailed the dress code. See? I know what I'm doing. Just sit back and have fun, I'll take care of the complicated stuff."

Some art I made for @sunnysidesevenup 's event! This was really fun, I enjoyed the ocean-esque theme a lot. Here's the full body outfits I designed for them:

For Whitney, I decided I wanted to go with a jellyfish inspired look. The little ribbons attached to her skirt are supposed to be like tentacles, and the layers are transparent because a lot of jellyfish are too. I drew her barefoot here, but in my mind thats really only during the actual preformence. She'd bring a pair of sandles or flats to wear around town, cause concrete and sand get HOT in the sun. I've burned my feet way too many times going to the beach. I also added a little clock to her headpiece, because she's inspired by the white rabbit but I couldn't figure out how else to incorporate the staple pocket watch. I absolutely adore the way her outfit turned out, but all the layers being transparent makes them such a pain to draw LMAO 😭 Never again....... *I whisper as I imagine myself drawing a groovy art for her*

For March's, I didn't really think an animal theme would fit him? So instead I decided to take some inspiration from sunken treasure chests/pirate ships. I gave him a coin belt cause gold coins, he's also wearing a net because it kinda makes me think of worn down sails and stuff. I replaced his usual clunky earring with huge pearls, and instead of a headpiece I had him stick stray pieces of coral in his hair. The leaves on his right knee are supposed to be like seaweed, and the outfit is covered in barnacles because uh. Yeah! I'm so bad at explaining things sorry guys 😔 I'm just praying yall see the vision

Along with the drawings, I also wrote a little story! I'm gonna leave it at the bottom so you don't have to scroll through it to read my notes. It's not very long, but I had free time and thought it'd be fun to write something about how they got to the competition in the first place, since it wasn't by conventional means. I don't write often, but I might write a little more for this when I have free time. I've got a little story going on in my head and it'd be cool to try and put it somewhere. Any criticism is appreciated, I'm always looking to improve my writing skills :) Once again, this was a lot of fun to make! Both the story and the outfits, and I'm happy I could participate. Not good at putting my thoughts out but uh ⭐️ gold star!

"So... That's it? That's why Cay Cay the cake slice is gonna be gone?" March tilted his head to the side, the large piercings on his ears clattering against his phone mic. "Arlo, Arlo.... Sounds familiar. I'm sure I've heard that name pass my ears before. Can't really remember though- he must not be important. Well, maybe a little bit if Cater knows him."

Whitney winces, adjusting the grip she had on her phone as she walked back and forth in her empty dorm room. "Uh, I-I think that's.. Well, I mean..." She sighs, trying to find the words. "You don't go to our school, so of course you wouldn't know people from here. I'm more surprised the name actually sounds familiar to you, I didn't think you've heard of anyone outside of Heartslabyul."

"Oh, he's not a Heartslabyul student? Makes more sense. What's he look like, then? Maybe I saw him in passing once, or something." March tries his best to recall any information he might have on anyone named Arlo.

"Arlo..? Uh, well... He has like, black fluffy hair with blonde bangs. And greenish eyes? I think?" Whitney stops, trying to think of any good descriptions of him. "Oh, he's short. Shorter than me. He's part of the newspaper club. Um... He's likes to take pictures of flowers and stuff."

"Huh... Little guy who likes to take pictures?" March scratches at his head. "... Oh. Oh! OH! Ha, that's the little loverboy!" He suddenly starts laughing hysterically.

"Little... Loverboy? That's not really a word I think most people would use to describe him. A-are you sure we're talking about the same person..?"

"Absolutely! I know the little guy veryyy well! Even if he doesn't know a lot about me." March takes a swig from his water bottle, still trying to calm down his laughter. "Oh, man! Imagining him, singing? That's hilarious, I didn't think he had it in him."

Whitney's ears twitch as she listens to March laugh. "Uh... Okay, explanation? Maybe..?? When you say it like that, i-it just sounds like you're stalking him."

"Oh please, he wishes I was stalking him. Almost everything I know about him is against my will. Yeah, I call him loverboy because he's like... Dating Neige, or something. I don't really know, but Neige will sometimes spend the entirety of lunch gushing about the guy. I call him little because, he's short. And it makes him mad when I call him little."

"So... You have met him? Since when? He doesn't come anywhere near Heartslabyul. At least, I haven't seen him around here."

"Yeah, once. Maybe twice, I can't remember. Neige was talking about the guy so much I just had to see what all the buzz was about. He was so angry, like a little Chihuahua, it was fucking hilarious bro." He says, chucking at the memory. "But yeah, I just followed Neige here once to meet him before going to the unbirthday party."

"You followed Neige to meet Arlo? It still sounds like you're stalking him, March. Do I need to report you to school security? I have the app, you know."

"Yeah yeah yeah, whatever. As if your shitty headmage would do anything about it anyways." March rolls his eyes, thinking about the NRC headmage. The only way he could picture the guy actually doing anything is if it made it on the news or something. "Back to the topic at hand, please? So, do you know where the town is?"

".. Huh..?" She pauses again. "Uh, no, not really. B-but if you need the address, Cater would probably give it to you." Whitney takes a seat at her bed now, a bad feeling crawling up her spine.

"Nah, won't ask him. The town's name is what again? We can find it on Google maps or something." Shuffling comes from the other side of the phone. "You're on speaker now, say hi to the wind."

Whitney frowned, not liking the way the conversation was heading. "We? Wait, why- Hi wind... W-why do we need to figure out where the town is? I'm sure Cater will remember to post pictures and videos, if that's what you want-"

"Nah, this ain't about him Nini. We're gonna go to the competition too." March declares, texting Whitney a link on Google maps to the town's location. "Look, see? It's not that bad. We don't even need a car or anything, you can just create a rabbit hole and boom! We'll be there in no time."

"You want to go to the competition?! Why?!" Whitney yells out louder then intended, suddenly covering her mouth and whispering into the phone. "W-we can't go! We weren't invited!"

"Really? So what if we weren't invited? It's a public event, isn't it? We don't need anyone's permission to be there. It'll be easy, we'll just go sign up and preform and then win the big grand prize at the end! You don't even have to sing, you can just sit back and look pretty while I enchant the crowd with my dazzling vocals. Hear, listen-" March takes a deep breath, preparing to demonstrate his singing skills.

"No!" Whitney interrupts, "Y-you don't get it! They all know who I am! Everyone i-in the group he brought along- Arlo knows who I am! A-and I don't think he likes me very much..." She says with a dejected tone, unbraiding her hair to try and de-stress. "I-I can't just show up to his home town for some event! Do you know how weird that is?? He's in the newspaper club too, he'll probably tell everyone what a creep I am and then everyone at school will know! 'Hey guys, uhh you know that weird bunny girl from class C? Yeahhh she like totally followed me to my hometown and then tried to play it off by bringing her friend with her.' I can't live like that!"

March scowls, huffing loudly into the phone mic to voice his displeasure. "Well, first of all don't interrupt me. Second of all, there's no reason to freak out. He's just an asshole who hates everyone, his hatred won't be specifically aimed at you. If anything, he'll probably aim it at me cause I like pissing him off- Always remember Nini, please everyone is hard. Making everyone mad is easy, and funny."

Whitney stays silent, brushing through her hair with her fingers. "... I-I don't know, March. Even if nobody will hate my guts for the rest of my school life..." She trails off, not knowing how to finish her sentence.

March groans dramatically at this, moving his phone closer to his mouth as he speaks. "Nini! You're such a party pooper cause you're so indecisive. I'm making the decision for you, we're going to the competition. You're gonna have fun, so quit fussing about every little detail! One of these days we're gonna get you some benzodiazpines for whatever anxiety you got, I swear." March mumbles the last part under his breath, rolling his eyes. "I'll do all the planning and stuff, just be ready to head out by tomorrow, k? I guess by like, 3 or something. Great, bye!"

"W-what? March, wait-!" She tries to stop, but March suddenly hangs up the phone on her, leaving her alone in the quiet dorm. She sighs, taking out her pocket watch to check the time. "3pm tomorrow..? We'd probably arrive before Arlo's group does. I'll have to take all my assignments with me, and triple tell Riddle that I'll be leaving. And pick out all my money for the trip to make sure we don't starve..." Whitney frowns, not exactly fond of this suddenly change in her usual schedule. "I hate taking trips..." She shakes her head, her ears twitching again as she stands up from her bed and looks around. "... Well, we're doing this I guess. Better start preparing.."

Thanks for reading!

[jewell-tones]

Hi!!! I just saw ur post about one shot requests n I'd love to see a bit of Soda n Dallas antics!! Can be just them goofing around n getting up to trouble :D or a bit of light Curtis Brother angst or fluff!! (sorry if it's a bit too general!! lemme know if you would like more specifics!!)

Saddle Up, It’s Time to Cheer Up! (Pt.1)

𝐎𝐑- Even Dallas Winston is worried about a heart broken Sodapop Curtis.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Cursing

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.4k

𝐀/𝐍: Heyy guys!!! So fun fact this is the fic I’ve ever posted! I couldn’t really decide between the two options so I kinda opted for both! This is canon divergent, so Johnny and Dallas live. I’ll with start writing pt. 2 PRONTO!! Happy reading!!

————————————————————————

He’d never admit to it, but Dallas sure felt awful for poor old Sodapop.

The girl Soda worshiped and raved about had up and left him and didn’t even have the guts to tell him to his face. Not only that, but the broad had two-timed him and ended up pregnant. Though Dallas felt bad for him, he still thought this breakdown was Soda's own damn fault. The situation was completely avoidable, but he just got too enamored by these girls. Dal’s old girl Sylvia wasn’t anything other than a good time to him, so when she started cheating while he was in the cooler, he just up and left. No grief, no regrets, and definitely no tears. Dallas made sure not to get attached, because why would he? Those broads never stayed. Even if a relationship works out, it never ends well. It’s like getting a dog. You just get them to love, then wait for them to run away or die. Dallas knew that, he had always known that. Soda hadn’t. Curtis just loved until his little heart broke.

He was like a Prince Charming to these damn girls. Dinner, flowers, chocolate, the whole nine yards. Soda didn’t even expect anything in return because he just loved loving her. To him, being romantic was the reward in itself. He was willing to do anything. Hell, when Sandy had first told Soda that she was pregnant, he had offered to marry her and take care of the baby- even if it wasn’t his. He was willing to love her anyway. It made Dallas sick. If it had been him, he would have told the broad to go fuck herself and spit on her shoes. It was like Sodapop had no survival skills. It’s Eat or be eaten, and that boy was letting her eat him alive.

Ever since Sandy left, Soda was half the man he used to be. Soda was the guy who brightened up a room. He was handsome so every girl swooned to him and all the guys liked him. Curtis wasn’t like Dallas at all. He was warm and caring. He knew how to comfort people. Dallas never knew how to do that. It wasn’t in his nature to make someone feel better. He was uncomfortable around crying people and hated having to deal with it. But, soda wasn’t like that. He knew how to make someone’s day better. Maybe that’s why Dallas felt so bad. Soda was always helping and loving everyone else but nobody returned the favor. He was just a ball of sunshine, but not anymore. Now left was a pitiful boy who couldn’t stand to do anything. When the gang went out to cause some trouble, soda stayed behind. He didn’t like to party anymore, didn’t like to wrestle. All he did was work then go home and watch TV. His eyes were always red from crying and baggy from lack of sleep. To say the least, the whole gang was worried badly. Dallas had never seen him like this before, and it almost scared him. Sure he and Soda weren’t the closest in the gang, but that was still his buddy. But with his “emotional intelligence”, Dal thought of himself as no use.

What made things worse, Dallas thought, was that Steve was always hanging out with his girl Evie. It used to be that Sandy and Evie would hang out together with Soda and Steve. The four were together everywhere you went. But Sandy was gone now, and Steve and Evie were still a thing. Steve still invited Soda out while he was with Evie. So when Soda hung out with him, instead of forgetting about his loss, he was constantly reminded of it. He was like a third wheel that was heading straight off the road.

One night, the Curtis house was full, as per usual. Darry had cooked up a small meal that was good enough to fill up the stomach. Dal, Johnny, and Pony were all betting on cigarettes in a game of

Poker. Steve and Two-bit were arm wrestling in the living room. Soda was watching TV, with those lifeless eyes that hadn’t gone away in weeks. Sure he was smiling and talking to everyone as usual, but something behind those eyes gave the impression he was in pain.

“Goddamnit Dallas” sighed a frustrated Ponyboy, “this is the third time in a row you’ve won.” “I’ve got luck you’ve never seen kid” Dallas grinned as he pushed the pile of cancer sticks closer to him. “I think he’s cheating, what do you think Johnny?” Pony whispered over to the boy beside him. “I don’t know man, he is pretty lucky” answered a defeated Johnny. Dallas got up stuffing cigs in his pocket “Well I think I’m gonna go smoke some of my earnings” he boasted. In the living room, Steve and two’s competition had turned into them rolling around on the floor with Matthews in a chokehold. Steve finally let him go after it seemed that his face was going blue. “You win this time fucker” fumed the upset loser. “That’s right, I always win! I’m getting you next soda!” He exclaimed. Soda just lightly scoffed and didn’t say a word back, making Steve look back in disappointment. Dallas walked towards the door “Anyone else wanna smoke?” He questioned. “Sure I’ll go” Steve answered, “you wanna go soda?” He looked back at his friend “You haven’t moved off that couch in like an hour” he teased, getting up to hit his friend's shoulder. Soda gave a small grin and scratched his chin “No, I’m good. The shows just getting interesting”. Steve just stared then walked towards the door “Well I tried” he shrugged and continued out the door with Dallas.

The two boys went outside on the front porch. Dallas handed Randle a stick and got out a lighter sparking his own then Steve’s. The younger boy sat down the porch stairs and exhaled the smoke. Dallas took a draw from his own and leaned against the framing. “ I didn’t think you smoked a whole lot Randle” he questioned. “ I don’t, I just… well I don’t know man, I needed one” he took another long hard draw and sighed. “ I just don’t understand” he shook his head “I’ve tried to help him, I’ve really tried. Soda just won’t get out of this funk” he looked back a Dallas. “It’s like no matter what you do, he just won’t take it. It’s like he wants to be miserable!” He confided, “ I just don’t know what to do anymore”. Dallas looked at Steve slightly surprised. He guessed that he hadn’t thought about how frustrating this must be for Steve. To see your best friend self loathe over a girl who didn’t care for him like he cared for her. To never wanna hang out no matter how hard you try. “I know man, he needs to get on his feet” Dally commented. “I mean the last time I saw him this upset was when he lost Mickey” Steve added. Dallas raised his eyebrows in agreement. He had forgotten about that. God he loved that stupid horse, he thought. You would’ve thought someone had died when they sold that thing. He’d never seen a kid so upset. That was something else Soda had loved as much as he could, horses. He was a good rider. He used to ride them in rodeos until Darry made him stop. Ever since Dal had started being a jockey at the horse tracks, he had begged Winston to let him see their horses. He and Steve would come to see the races to supposedly watch Dallas ride, but he was sure it was just so Soda could see the horses. His eyes would light up when he saw them, like a kid seeing Santa Claus in the mall. He always asked Dallas to let him see them up close in the stables, but Dal didn’t want to get in trouble with Track for bringing someone back there, so he always declined. Man did he love horses. He looked at Steve and tossed his cigarette on the ground to put it out, “Yeah I don’t know what I’d do if was you”

But then he thought of it. He thought of exactly what he’d do.

For once in his life, Dallas Winston knew how to cheer someone up.

[misty-memories09]

I've been thinking about S.P.E.W and it's failure alot.

Well, where she went wrong was with her approach. The idea was totally nice, no one deserves to be a slave and house elves were treated miserably. The problem came with her attitude about it, she's pretty close minded it's something I briefly talked about in this post. In it I mentioned about S.P.E.W in the second paragraph, this is the specific line I'm talking about :

She's quick at thinking that others are wrong and generally does not like to think from other perspectives.

This was her biggest mistake that lead to S.P.E.W being totally useless and unfruitful. The truth is, house elves are treated so horribly that they themselves do not recognise/realise that what is happening to the is wrong. Hermione created S.P.E.W. to promote the liberation and rights of house-elves, who are treated as enslaved workers in the wizarding world. She believed that house-elves should receive wages, pensions, and other benefits similar to those of regular workers.

What she did not do was communicate, the flow of ideas only happen when you communicate, if the house elves themselves do not realise that what's happening to them is absolutely disgusting then how do you expect them to support your cause? And how do you expect for your cause to be fruitful if the people who you're trying to work for do not promote this?

An argument used against her by other characters is generally that house elves want to be treated like this. How does she solve this? Arguing back even louder. Not trying to improve the root of the cause or just ignore the people saying this because they are objectively wrong to say this, not in a way that house elves do not like being enslaved but the fact that it is absolutely disgusting to say this.

She tries to free them against will, by knitting hats for them and tricking them into being freed instead of...you know? Trying to talk to them and also listen to their views because this idea is actually pinned down in their brains that it's in their nature to submit to their masters. If you do NOT communicate with the community your trying improve the living standards of, if said community is not educated due to a viscious cycle, you can not expect them to be on your side.

She had also been completely impatient and forced Ron, Harry and Neville — people who do not quite agree with her — to join her. Which, is just stupid. If you're making an organisation you should be recruiting people who are willing for it to be more effective. On top of that Hermione is not a good leader, she's too bossy, she does not believe that there is a ‘right’ opinion except her own, forcibly tries to recruit people, does not know how to actually work effectively about her cause.

let's be real here, change doesn't happen overnight as she expected it too, she disbanded it but that's a mistake, the fact she gave up on it is a mistake, the fact she did not try to go further with a different approach is a mistake. These kinds of things take time and her impatience and unwillingness to listen to others became the downfall of S.P.E.W all this without a greater effort to gain a deeper understanding of the issue.

Aside from this, I decided to look online to see others view on this and...

Despite this, I believe that the way Hermione Granger made and promoted SPEW goes against her character and the way she would really behave. If Hermione did her research well, she would have easily realized that the majority of house-elves are happy and that SPEW would have offended them. The way she put out the hats in the Gryffindor common room was stupid of her, and Hermione – being the cleverest of the trio – should have realized that the house-elves wouldn’t take the hats. If I was Hermione, when she was promoting this organization for protecting house-elves, I would have focused more on stopping house-elf abuse, not attempting to free them.

This is...a take, to say the least. My intentions are not to start any fights or anything but this is crediting Hermione way too much. I s'pose this is a stan, because all I ever see is stans just overlooking the character's flaw and honestly, S.P.E.W. could be seen as a way to show her flaws. Also, saying that she shouldn't have attempted to free the house elves...feels really really gross.

Yes, the person said that they would've focused more on stopping the house-elf abuse but...this is basically saying that house elves should stay enslaved, not directly but the meaning is right there. And no, the house elves living conditions would not improve if they're still enslaved because they do not have a say in anything, their masters can still abuse their powers over them AND you can never guarantee that they are actually getting treated wrong, so the last statement is objectively wrong.

I personally believe that if Hermione had been more sensetive, communicated with the community she is trying to work for and recruited people who believe in her cause, she would've reached atleast one point. It's obvious freeing the house elves would be a long drawn process, had she been more patient with everything i just stated, I believe S.P.E.W could have not been such a great failure.

Tl;dr : It was not the idea but her approach that was flawed, and it is related with her flaws as a person itself. The idea was great but the execution? Not so much.