#that you are now eternally part of a cringe inside joke

[soudakuwunmoment]

oh my god so context: I’ve been joking around and drawing sollux in crackships and drawing nsfw of him, and then drawing him pissed at me and asking me to stop. 4th wall breaking stuff yknow.  I was just sending some of my nsfw art of him to a friend, and literally the moment it sent, pesterchum opened up with a message

BRO?? I was fucking KIDDING. Sollux please don’t hurt me. death by psionics doesn’t sound fun.

[omgeto]

✩ — 4:21am

summary: gojo satoru is a man of his word, and no matter what, he always promised to come home to you.

cw: minor angst, fluffy ending (I PROMISE) this is for all you sad hojoes out there that just want your man home all in one piece.

gojo satoru is a man of his word, and no matter what, he always promised to come home to you. you didn't actually think much of it, until one night, you awake in panic feeling that something's off. you are used to falling asleep as you wait for gojo to come home, but when you check the time and realise that it was later than usual, anxiety gnawed at your heart.

the clock on the bedside table mocks you with its relentless ticking. each passing second only intensifies your unease. you reach for your phone and check for messages or missed calls, but there's nothing. gojo hasn't contacted you since the last heated argument you had before he left for his mission. it's been hours since then.

you can’t even remember what you fought about, it was something trivial, him forgetting to put the milk back in the fridge, or not putting down the toilet seat—it was dumb. it hurts you even more now that the things you were just berating him for a few hours ago, you were begging for him to come back and do one more time.

fighting back the growing panic, you try calling him. his phone rings, but there's no answer. of course there wouldn’t be you knew that he doesn’t use his phone when he was out, but you just had to try, hoping that he’d sent a quick text to say he was just around the corner—but there was nothing.

you couldn’t help but conjure up terrifying scenarios about him. what if he’s injured? what if he’s been chopped up into little pieces and he’s in pain? wanting to call you and he can’t.

you can't stay still any longer, pacing back and forth in your dimly lit apartment. your thoughts are a jumbled mess, and you can't shake the feeling that something terrible has happened. the world outside is quiet, and the darkness feels suffocating. 

your mind wanders to the first time you met him, he was persistent immediately when he first laid eyes on you, claiming that he would stop at nothing to get to be with you. and that was true. you wouldn’t give him the time of day, at first, but whenever you were around him doing your ‘hard to get routine,’ he put in extra effort just to get with you.

there wasn’t anyone you could even ask to see if he was okay, since if he wasn’t, who else would be? and there’s a part of you that wouldn’t even want to know, you had to see him, alive and well for all your worries to be gone.

as the minutes drag on, each one feeling like an eternity, you cling to thoughts of him, each memory acting as a lifeline. there wasn’t even any indication that something bad happened to him, but there is something unsettling that you just couldn’t shake.

you could feel him before you could even hear the faint tapping at the door. there isn’t any hesitation as you bolt to the door, dragging a weak standing gojo into a tight hug only pulling away as you hear him softly wince at your heavy touch.

“sorry,” he murmurs, standing with his arm clutching at his lower stomach, slightly hunched over, “i lost my keys.”

“you lost your keys?” you practically yell, “that’s what you wanna focus on right now?” you ask as you look at his injured body. this is the worst you’ve ever seen him, and you could tell that he was in pain from the way his usual breezy smile, isn’t reaching his eyes like it normally does.

you quickly usher gojo inside, supporting him as he limps toward the couch. the dim living room lights reveals a deep gash on his face, and his clothes are torn and stained with dirt and blood. 

“take off your shirt,” you order, your face filled with concern as you try and properly assess all his injuries.

“aren’t you gonna buy me dinner first?” he jokes, cringing as you remove his shirt from over his head, trying not to hurt him further.

“this isn’t the time for jokes ‘toru,” you chastise, shaking your head to prevent yourself from getting emotional, “y’know i really thought that—” you sigh, not even wanting to utter the words, since it doesn’t matter as he’s here now, alive.

“i can’t even lie,” he starts, his eyes staring down, avoiding yours. “for a moment out there, i didn’t know if i could live up to my promise to you.” you couldn’t even respond, the fact that gojo could even admit that there was a chance that he wasn’t gonna get back to you, had you panicked.

“c’mere,” he says pulling your into his lap, noticing the stressed expression that has yet to leave your face.

you were quick to jump off of him, but he kept you firm in his hold, his arms wrapped protectively around you. despite the pain he must have been in, his eyes held a mixture of relief and vulnerability as he looked into yours. “satoru you’re hurt.”

but he gave you a reassuring smile, one that couldn't quite hide the pain etched on his face. "i'm okay, really," he whispers, his breath warm against your ear. “i just need you close right now."

as you settled back into his embrace, you could feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your fingertips, reassuring you that he was indeed alive and home with you, where he had always promised to be.

AN: SO GUYS HOW DID I DO? im not really a drabble or fluffy girlie, as you guys know. but um tada... this is for you all. love ya. If there’s mistakes in there it’s 6am so ignore em please IF THIS IS SHIT THEN IM SORRY I TRIED. But as long as one gojo lover says “emp you’ve mended my little heart” I can die happy

[casspurrjoybell-21]

Pirate Chains - Volume 1 - Strong Tides

*Warning Adult Content*

Chapter 30 - Omen - Part 1

Nyx

The incarnation of grumpiness met me with its eternal scowl.

"You take too many days off boy."

"Apologies for being late. There's no excuse..."

"Oh I'd be happy to give you an excuse. I can provide your highness with a nice beating that'll give you a long and peaceful rest for eternity," Baril said while pointing his big knife to my face.

The knife wasn't even clean. I tilted my head back to keep as far from it as possible and smiled awkwardly.

"No need, I'm here now. I'll assist with lunch. You look like you need tomatoes? I'll get you tomatoes," I declared and immediately hurried to the storage room.

I was being reprimanded and it was all Agenor's fault. I told him I'd be in trouble but he did as he pleased. The brute ignored me and went all the way. God, I could feel my knees weaken just from remembering it.

'His smirk, his cocky smile, his sexy body, the look he gave me when he was wanted something or when satisfied, the way he teased me, the taste of his lips over mine.'

"Where are the bloody tomatoes. Are you fucking growing them now?"

I apologized, again and tried to focus on my tasks the best I could. Which was barely enough because Baril was a fountain of ideas when it came to giving me things to do. I was cutting some vegetables when I heard a scoff.

"Morning Captain."

I raised my eyes and saw Agenor leaning on the side of the door. His eyebrow arched and his lips tugged to the side showing the most playful smirk. My most natural reaction was to smile at him. His presence had an odd effect at making me feel better and as much as I hated to admit it, safer. Baril cleared his throat and I barely kept myself from rolling my eyes as I went back to chopping the miserable vegetables.

"You're early captain, I guess the heat of the day got to your cabin."

"Aye, it was quite heated alright."

I felt his words and gaze directed at me. I didn't want Baril to take notice of my blushing cheeks, so I didn't dare look up. We prepared lunch while Agenor took a chair beside the door of the galley and kept chatting with Baril about all and nothing. Hearing his voice talking, making jokes and laughing at Baril's stories of the past, it was bliss. He sounded calm, sleepy even. No wonder, he usually woke up after everyone else. Now that I thought about it, he was the laziest pirate on this ship. That thought made me smile, our eyes met and he smiled back at me.

'Like I said, bliss'.

Sometimes they'd include me in their pleasantries and I gladly joined their conversation. Baril seemed very relaxed and happy taking the time to talk to his captain, his sour mood magically disappeared. Soon others joined us, talking, laughing and telling stories. The galley and the hall were so noisy and full that I decided to leave the cleaning till after lunch. I carried the wooden plates to the large room where the crew usually had their meals. I grabbed the large boiling cauldron when two pirates approached me.

The first one Jay, real name Jerry Mockren, winked at me and I kept an emotionless face despite cringing from the inside. Then him and Mern, who was known among his fellow pirates as Armpits, rushed to take the cauldron from my hands and bring it to the couple of tables in the middle of the room. I let them argue over it and carried two apple buckets. Baril joined me and started serving lunch for the hungry wolves and I took the chance to go back and clean the galley a little. I was sweeping when Agenor walked in and came behind me. He leaned over my shoulder and asked discreetly...

"How's your back?"

I tried my best to hide my embarrassment.

"I'm fine, no thanks to you."

He laughed and put his hand on mine and pushed the broom away.

"After all the effort you made to prepare lunch, the least you deserve is to eat it warm."

I turned to glare at him. But his genuine concerned smile wiped my every will to complain.

"Come on," he urged gently.

So I rolled my eyes, dropped the broom and followed him. The day had been pleasant beyond just lunchtime. Agenor had been sticking by my side all day, which I enjoyed but it was unusual to see him so attentive. However, having him nearby meant no pirate dared to order me around or hand me their tasks. Instead, they offered to help with whatever I was doing, seemingly without ulterior motives. They were most probably trying to impress Agenor. Therefore, surprisingly, my workload was light that day, and I even had a few hours of free time in the afternoon. I took advantage of the beautiful weather and spent some time in the sun.

Despite Agenor's concerned looks, I climbed up the shrouds to the top of the main mast to join Maren in the crow's nest. From there, I enjoyed the breathtaking view of the vast, clear skies and the soft breeze that brushed against my skin. For a moment, I felt completely liberated from the dangers of the world below. I stopped listening to Maren's endless chatter and just absorbed the peacefulness of the moment. It was as if I had never been more free. Agenor's call jolted me out of my daze, urging me to descend from my perch. Although I obeyed reluctantly, the evening turned out to be quite enjoyable.

As night fell, Agenor settled on the upper step of the stairs that led to the quarterdeck and began to drink. It was the signal for a party to begin. Drinking games, singing and clumsy dancing ensued. Observing the pirates, I realized that they did not seem as menacing around their captain. Rather, they were a group of unrefined men, laughing boisterously and disrupting the tranquility of the calm sea. I sat a couple of steps down, lost in my thoughts, when Agenor shifted his weight and brushed his knee with my arm. It was quite odd for me that such a minuscule contact, made feel a little flattered by the attention.

Despite being offered drink after drink, I only took a sip of each, wary of making a spectacle of myself. I did not wish to repeat a drunken episode. Instead, I handed the unwanted drinks to Ace, who lay at arm's reach above the ship's edge, consuming alcohol with abandon. His eyes closed and his arm hanging limply, Ace was a man of few words. Occasionally, he chuckled at a joke but otherwise, he remained silent. When he wanted another drink, he would extend his arm without opening his eyes or uttering a word and someone would provide him with the liquid he craved. If I had an excess drink in my hand, I would simply touch the cold cup to his inert hand and he would immediately take it, downing it like water.

[ekaterinatepes]

Nothing but the Best

Author’s note: it’s getting interesting here ;) enter prince charming Sugu-kun to save the day.

IX.

https://youtu.be/uhoiqVPmURE

Satoru was afraid of making a move, least he tipped you over the edge and made you bolt; he didn’t want that. Swallowing hard he looked into your eyes… God… he had missed your beautiful E/C eyes so much. Waking up every morning without you by his side, without you kissing him awake cause he was going to be late for work… again. Your absence had left a literal infinite void in his heart that he was unable to fill.

“I know I don’t deserve anything from you Y/N, but I love you and I cannot give up on us… We said forever when we got married. And I want that… with you” speaking from the heart was not something Satoru ever did. He always preferred to cover any emotions with inappropriate jokes and double entendres. But he knew he couldn’t play his stupid games, not with you and most certainly not now.

You pulled away in that moment, as if his touch was burning you. He allowed it, doing his utmost effort not to pull you back in. His hands itched resting at his sides, missing the warmth of your body.

|||

It was you and me, it seemed to last forever

The way you taste and I still remember… the sounds we made.

|||

“It would have been nice if you felt that way before you decided to ruin this marriage. Where were those promises of forever when you fucked someone else?” You asked piercing his eyes with yours. He cowered under your glare. Satoru had never been on the receiving end of your wrath and now he understood why most people chose (wisely) to not mess with you. Every single one of your words was chosen carefully to cause the most damage. At the same time… what hurt the most was that you were right.

“Leave and don’t ever come back… you and I… are through…” Satoru noticed how you avoided calling him by his name, he hated it. As if uttering his name would leave a bad taste in your mouth “Y/N…” he whispered pleadingly when you took another step away. But this time he didn’t have the courage to stop you as you disappeared inside your apartment and locked the door behind you.

|||

I bet you wish you had me back! Another chance to gain it, just like that. The best you ever had.

|||

Satoru was fucked.

—————

The next morning Suguru’s plane landed. JFK international airport was as busy and chaotic as one would expect. After collecting his luggage he made his way to a cab giving the driver your current address.

He hadn’t been able to sleep a wink during the trip, his mind swarmed with all the possibilities of what could be happening right now. Satoru didn’t play fair and of course… you loved (probably still love) the lucky bastard.

With a sigh he decided to focus instead on the city going by through the cab’s windows. It wasn’t the first time he was in New York and his mind was much more occupied torturing him instead of appreciating the landscape.

After 40 minutes, Geto stood before a very nice and modern building located in the upper east side called Hawthorn Park. You sure knew how to live in luxury. He approached the doorman and let him know his name and that he was here to see Miss Ekaterina Petrova to which the kind looking old man responded by using his intercom to contact you. Geto was soon granted access and guided to the elevator.

The elevator doors opened on the 21st floor, he walked to the door of your apartment which was already open and you were waiting for him. His smile fell once he noticed you have been crying “oh Kitten” dropping his luggage on the spot he surrounded your body in his arms “I’m so sorry…” one didn’t need to be a genius to know Satoru had found you.

You both moved inside your apartment. Settling on the spacious couch you buried your face on Suguru’s lap as you cried. He stroked your now darker strands of h/c hair without a word exchanged. He knew you needed to let it all out. After what seemed an eternity you sat back up. Suguru gently dried your eyes.

“He was here last night…” you whispered in a raw and scratchy voice, result of your endless hours of distress before his arrival “he told me he loved me, that he left Sookie” scoff “and hear this… he left her because the baby wasn’t his!” Talk about karma at its best. Suguru already knew that but he was surprised to hear Satoru had come clean about it to you “He probably thought I would fall for that! But I didn’t” you added firmly.

Suguru was proud of you. He knew how hard it was for you to resist Satoru but you stood tall and proud when it mattered the most. “What do you want to do now?” Where you planning on moving again?

-

“I’m not leaving…” you said looking into Suguru’s liquid amber gaze. You couldn’t help but notice once again he had such pretty eyes, like a cat. You’ve always liked them, specially when they looked at you with such tenderness. You have missed him dearly during all this time.

“I can’t keep running away from him; I mean… it’s obvious he won’t stop and I… I am tired of molding my life to adapt to his whims. I’m staying here whatever happens. Sugu… I got the part for the Swan Lake!” You added remembering you haven’t talked to him during the last week and so he didn’t know about your latest accomplishment.

Geto’s eyes enlarged before a huge smile split his handsome face and his massive frame engulfed you in a tight hug. Of course he knew everything about ballet, he was your best friend after all. This was huge! Probably as big as making it in the ballet world meant “I’m so proud of you Kitten!” He said excitedly kissing your temple. Maybe not everything was as bad as he thought.

You were upset, it was true. But then again you were not prepared last night. Satoru had taken you by surprise. Now… you knew he was here and more or less knew what to expect from your soon to be ex-husband.

“Thank you Sugu…” you stopped and pulled back just slightly to look into his eyes from your height. He was a very tall man compared to you “I missed you” you said with a bright smile to which Geto replied with one of his own before pulling you in again for another hug “I missed you too Kitten” stroking your back softly Suguru decided he was happy to be here… with you.

-

https://youtu.be/3oSXqLgoSq4

|||

She's given up, been holding on for way too long

She's had enough

He's coming home again

But it's too late 'cause she won't stay with him

|||

The sunshine hitting his face was what woke him up. With a grunt Satoru rolled over on his side only to fall unceremoniously from the couch where he had passed out last night. The last thing he remembered was warping back to his hotel after you left him on the roof. The memory of you, turning your back on him and walking away squeezed his heart in a painful grasp.

Alcohol was never something he was attracted to, he liked to keep his brain constantly alert and stimulated. It served a purpose of course, it kept his infinity barrier on at all times, even when he was asleep. But last night he hit rock bottom. He didn’t care anymore…

As soon as he got back to the hotel, hopelessness made a home in his chest, sitting heavy on his heart. Walking to the fully stocked bar placed on the corner of his suite he opened a bottle of whiskey. He started slow since most everything was too bitter for his taste, so he went through the process of trying every single bottle until he found something to his liking.

Two hours and about fifteen different shots of everything he decided to settle for a bottle of Amaretto, some fancy Italian liquor made of apricot kernels. It was sweet.

Everything else after that was blur. Moving his sore body from the floor he forced himself to go to the bathroom. Maybe a hot shower would help ease his misery. Peeling off his clothes the smell of booze clinging on them made Gojo cringe. He decided to brush his teeth before showering. Looking in the mirror he couldn’t recognize the man starring back at him. He was a mess.

|||

Are we just ghosts out in the night?

Are we just waiting for a light that doesn't shine?

Are we just faking or is this real?

'Cause I don't know how to feel

Are we just ghosts now, you and I?

|||

Last night he had been so desperate, so hopeless and broken hearted. That’s when it hit him… his wife didn’t hurt him, she didn’t cheat on him (unlike himself), she didn’t do anything to him and yet he was feeling as if the world was collapsing around him. He lied, cheated and fucked up everything for them both.

Guilt…

Unadulterated, burning and suffocating guilt was consuming him. He felt bad before but it wasn’t until last night that he grasped the concept that Y/N didn’t owe him anything at all and that HE didn’t deserve it anyways.

The plan originally had been to get back in your good graces by doing penitence, submitting to your every whim and desire by becoming your devoted slave for as long as you would have it. He never even considered the possibility that his wife DID NOT WANT to forgive him in the first place.

He thought you left to give him a lesson, that you would eventually come back to him after he had a taste of what it was like to lose you.

But even after you both shared such a searing kiss, so passionate that every cell in his body was humming, aflame with desire you still managed to walk away from him as if it meant nothing to you.

What good did it do to him to be the strongest when he couldn’t even protect his wife… from himself.

After showering, changing clothes and ordering every sweet pastry and desert from the room service menu Gojo stopped to rethink his strategy.

What?…

Did you think he was going to stop there?

Absolutely no, love!

If anything, your rejection had only fueled his need to get you back.

“Time for plan B” sighing he pulled out his phone it rang a couple times before someone answered “good morning Mrs. Mazzo, this is Gojo Satoru. I’m going to need you to forward to me Miss Petrova’s rehearsal schedule…”

—

“This is really good!” You hummed happily after swallowing a bite of your steak. Suguru sat across from you at Keens Steakhouse, with a grin he watched as you indulged yourself in what you called your ‘cheat meal’ of the month. Being a professional ballerina was a tough and demanding commitment that controlled every aspect of your life, from how you train to what you eat. Despite it all, Geto knew you always found a happy balance that worked just fine for you.

Seeing your big smile made his heart jump in his chest, you were as beautiful and alluring as the day he met you. If only he had told you he liked you before Satoru did. This question kept him up at night, playing all sorts of scenarios in his mind. If he had taken the first step… would things have been different? Would you have ended up together? Married? Shaking his head he tried to focus on what you were actually saying. Deviating his thoughts to that kind of scenarios was dangerous. He also didn’t want to push it when he was perfectly aware you were still healing; he wasn’t a low life piece of shit to take advantage of your vulnerability.

But when you smiles at him as if he was the only thing in your world, when you held his hand across the table, playing with his finger, his throat felt dry and tight.

“What do you think Sugu?” Your curious and expecting eyes caught him like a deer in the headlights “I’m sorry Kitten, I was distracted. Could you repeat that please?” He asked with an affable smile.

You chuckled and stroke his hand softly “you look tired, did you sleep at all in the plane?” He shook his head “no, I didn’t. I never can, it’s uncomfortable” he hid on purpose the true reason why he hadn’t been able to sleep “come on Sugu! Let’s go back home! I bet you are tired” you said offering him a sweet smile.

After paying your bill you walked the few blocks back home. Suguru of course would be staying with you in the spare room of your penthouse. Holding hands while you talked to him about the activities the city had to offer, your schedule and how you intended to fit the time to do some tourism with him. “You don’t have to bother Kitten, I know you are busy enough with your job, I will be fine” he insisted.

You stopped on your tracks and stood in front of him, pouting, making him chuckle. You looked every bit the kitten he knew you to be, all bothered and moody “no! I want to spend time with you too you know! I haven’t seen you in so long! I’m not going to waste this chance!” You insisted to which Suguru threw his hands up in the air “I surrender Kitten! Do with me as you will” you giggled and then blushed. “Uh… eh… ok! I will!” He took your hand again and you both resumed your walk.

-

Satoru warped to the roof top of the building adjacent to yours, the lights were out in your apartment and he couldn’t sense your presence inside. You left? Where did you go?

Before a second though he warped inside your apartment but he saw all your stuff was still there, maybe you went out for groceries or something?

After a few minutes sitting on your couch he decided to wait for you on the street so he could see when you got home.

(Almost an hour later)

Oh… he wasn’t ready for what he saw.

“That mother fu….” Satoru grinds his teeth watching you walk down the street holding onto Suguru’s hand while talking distractedly. From his hiding spot in front of your building he closed his hands in a tight fist.

Well, this complicated things… a lot more.

————-> Chapter 10

———————————-

@sleepyamaya

@cloudsinthecosmos

@jxvajxy

@satoruhooraaa

@my-reality-is-in-my-head

@dok-ja

@jscarlet06

@fiona782

@thatsharklovingwoman

@heichoustheoryofcleanliness

@syynnaaah

@shaylove418

@coldvillainess

@vampgguk

@sukuna1stwife

[iam93percentstardust]

Hi, happy Shared Birthday Month, cause it's my birthday month as well!! Can I please prompt you a WinterIron, where Bucky and/or winter soldier is a science nerd and a massive Tony Stark stan? Happy with setting in any era, any rating 😄 Thank you! You are amazing and I love your stuff!

Happy late birthday! Sorry it took me a bit to get to this prompt but here is a cute no-powers au, featuring some minor Natasha/Steve and some science from a paper my lab group read in group meeting yesterday (check the ao3 story for the paper citation). Sorry I didn't come up with something more original for the science but this was on my mind.

As always, everything I write is also on ao3.

~

“Okay, Steve, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me—for us,” Bucky quickly corrects when Steve shoots him an amused look. “So what are we going to do?”

“We’re going to sit quietly in the audience,” Steve says.

“And what are we not going to do?”

“Shout that our best friend would like to bang Tony Stark like a screen door in a hurricane,” Steve dutifully repeats what Bucky has been telling him for the whole drive to the studio. He gives Bucky a sly smile. “Even if it’s true.”

Bucky swats his skinny arm lightly, enough to sting but not so hard that it’ll bruise Steve’s arm, which bruises like a peach. He still can’t believe he managed to win the tickets to watch the live taping of the one hundredth episode of Tony Stark’s show, It’s Only Science If You Write It Down. He’s been following the show since its first episode five years ago. Growing up, Tony Stark was to him what Britney Spears was to other kids. Stark was always in the news for his innovative inventions for his father’s company. Everyone had thought he would take over SI after his parents’ deaths, but instead he’d handed the company over to Pepper Potts, a then-unknown young woman working in SI’s financial department. Stark still held the majority of shares in the company but he’d turned his focus to becoming the next Bill Nye, along with his best friend. Bucky had stumbled across one of the articles about him when he was young and immediately developed one heck of a crush on him that hadn’t at all disappeared with age.

And now he’s here, attending the first ever live taping of Stark’s show.

It’d be a dream come true if only Steve wasn’t the one attending with him. Don’t get him wrong, Stevie’s great, but he’s also convinced Bucky needs to date more often and he’s very… enthusiastic about making sure that everyone they meet that Bucky thinks is even the slightest bit cute knows that.

Stark is the crush to end all crushes. He knows that Steve knows it. He also knows what Steve is like, and he thinks he’ll die of shame if Steve feels the need to let Stark know it too.

“You have your inhaler, right?” he asks as the line creeps forward.

“Yes, mother,” Steve sighs, patting his pocket. “And an EpiPen in the other pocket and my meds in my wallet.”

They’re reminded to keep their phones firmly in their pockets by the surly security guard—incongruously named Happy, according to the badge he’s wearing—at the front door and then ushered inside the studio, only to be stopped by a young woman with a clipboard as they’re climbing the risers.

“Hi,” she says with a sphinxlike smile that makes Bucky want to check that his wallet is still in his pocket. “Which one of you is Bucky Barnes?”

“Uh, that would be me,” he says, raising his hand slightly.

Her eyes catch on the silver sheen of his prosthetic. They don’t register anything other than idle curiosity, but Bucky still awkwardly tucks the arm away. It’s been almost ten years since the accident, but he’s still not used to the looks he gets when people see it.

“I’m Natasha,” she says. “Mr. Stark’s personal assistant. JARVIS noticed you when you entered the studio. Mr. Stark wanted me to inform you both that there’s been a change to the contest winnings.”

Dread starts to pool in Bucky’s stomach but it doesn’t have long to settle before her smile gentles and she adds, “Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad. He just wanted to invite the two of you backstage after the show is over.”

Bucky’s mouth drops open. Steve reaches over to close it and asks, “Why?”

To Bucky’s surprise, Natasha gives Steve a clear onceover, seemingly pleased by what she sees. “Mr. Stark wouldn’t like me to give away his secrets, but I’d imagine it has something to do with the way he spilled his coffee all over his front when he saw your friend’s picture.”

“Really?” Steve asks skeptically. “A notorious playboy tripping all over himself for this yahoo here?”

Natasha laughs, hard enough that Bucky mutters, “It wasn’t that funny.”

Once she’s calmed down, Natasha says, “He’s not as bad as you think. A lot of it is just reputation. And yes, as soon as he got a look at him, he was demanding I figure out a way to get him backstage.”

“What am I, chopped liver?” Steve demands, taking an indignant stance.

Natasha hums, eyes going dark. “Oh no, you got invited backstage because I wanted to meet you,” she purrs. “I’ll come find you boys later. Enjoy the show.”

She saunters off, putting just enough of a sway to her step that Bucky suspects if he were attracted to women, he’d be mesmerized. As it is, he’s the one who has to reach over to close Steve’s jaw this time.

They take their seats and a few minutes later, Tony Stark and James Rhodes walk on set. They’re quietly talking to each other as the crew bustles around them, makeup artists darting up to make sure their faces look perfect. Stark is dressed in a t-shirt that says Engineers do it on the test bench—which is a terrible joke really and shouldn’t make Bucky want to laugh as much as he does—and well-worn jeans that perfectly mold to the shape of his bubble butt. Rhodes could be dressed in a paper sack for all that Bucky notices him.

Steve leans over and whispers, “You sure that I can’t yell that you want to bang Tony Stark like a screen door in a hurricane? Natasha made it sound like he’d be open to it.”

“You do,” Bucky hisses back, “and I’ll tell Natasha you were looking at her rear when she walked away.”

Steve makes an indignant noise and sits back in his chair, sulkily crossing his arms.

“Quiet on set!” the director yells. “And… action!”

“Hi!” Tony Stark says, smiling right at the camera. “I’m Tony and this is Rhodey and you’re watching Disney Channe!”

“He’s kidding,” Rhodes says long-sufferingly. “You’re watching It’s Only Science If You Write It Down.”

Later, Bucky wouldn’t be able to tell anyone what the show had been about. He’d spent the entire show too entranced by Tony’s voice and charisma to pay any attention to the actual science, which is a bit of a shame. He really does like science—he wouldn’t be getting his PhD in physical chemistry if he didn’t—but he can’t tear his eyes away from Tony long enough to actually watch the experiment. It’s fine; he can always watch the show later when it’s released (and maybe, if he’s lucky, he’ll have Tony to watch it with).

It seems like both an eternity and only a moment before the show wraps. Tony and Rhodes leave to thunderous applause, only coming back out for quick bows before disappearing backstage again. Bucky and Steve stay seated while the rest of the audience filters out slowly until Natasha comes to get them. She and Steve chat quietly as she leads them backstage but Bucky can only listen with half an ear; he’s too nervous about meeting his personal hero.

Rhodes is leaving the room Natasha leads them to. He breathes a sigh of relief when he spots the three of them. “Good, you’re here,” he says, specifically looking at Bucky. “Maybe you can calm him down. He’s been bouncing off the walls since he saw your picture.”

“Really?” Bucky squeaks. He clears his throat and tries again. “Really?”

“Really. He read all your papers last night—twice.”

“He has?”

Rhodes nods. “He really likes your piece on inelastic electron wave packet scattering.”

“Yeah? What did he—”

“You’ll have to ask him,” Rhodes interrupts. “I might be a rocket scientist but chemistry isn’t my preferred field of science. If you don’t mind, I’ve got a date to get to.”

He pushes the door open, letting them in, and leaves. Natasha slips through the door, followed immediately by Tony saying, “Where are—oh god, they left, didn’t they? I knew this was too much. Nat—”

“They’re right outside,” Natasha says smoothly. She opens the door further, revealing the two of them awkwardly standing there. Bucky’s gaze darts around a fairly nice dressing room before finally landing on Tony, who is blinking back at him with a wide-eyed, slightly stunned look.

“Hi,” he breathes out.

The corner of Tony’s mouth twitches up in the tiniest of smiles. “Hi.”

“Great, now that that’s out of the way, get out,” Natasha says, giving Tony a shove so that he stumbles out of the room, right into Bucky’s arms. She reaches out and grabs Steve, pulling him inside. “Don’t disturb me for the next hour.”

“Uh,” Steve begins, but he doesn’t actually look upset by this turn of events, so Bucky doesn’t worry—too much, anyway.

He does, however, turn to Tony and ask, “Is he going to be okay?”

“Oh yeah, he’s fine,” Tony says breezily. “Natasha’s just very direct.”

“Right.”

Now that it’s just the two of them alone in the hallway, it’s a little more awkward. Bucky opens his mouth twice to say something, only to shut it again as soon as he realizes his question is stupid. For his part, Tony shoves his hands deep into his pockets and rocks back and forth on his feet.

Then the sound of what is obviously Steve moaning floats through the door. Bucky cringes and jerks his thumb in the direction of the door. “We should—”

“Yep,” Tony agrees.

They get all the way back to the set before they stop. They look at each other for a beat before dissolving into giggles. “Oh my god,” Tony says, clutching his sides. “I knew she moved fast but—”

“Well, Steve doesn’t move fast at all,” Bucky says, “so you can see where I’m a bit lost.”

That sets Tony off into another round of laughter. Bucky is calming down a bit so he takes the moment to admire the way Tony laughs with his entire body. It takes Tony a moment to realizes he’s being stared at. When he does, his laugh tapers off as he gives Bucky a lingering look.

“I’m Tony,” he says eventually.

“Bucky.”

“Wow, that’s really unfortunate.”

“You’re not wrong,” Bucky agrees. “Blame Stevie for that one.”

“Childhood friends, huh?”

“Literally played naked together in the kiddie pool.”

Tony grins. “That sounds familiar.”

“You and Rhodes—”

“Oh no, but if you ever get the chance to meet Janet Van Dyne, remember to ask her about the time she thought she could make a living selling mud pies.”

Bucky takes a moment to marvel that this is his life now, that Tony thinks nothing of giving him dirt on the most prolific fashion designer of their generation. “So, uh, Rhodes told me you read my papers?”

Tony’s eyes light up, and, wow, he looks really pretty when he’s excited. “Yes!” he exclaims. “I want to hear your thoughts on the—uh—the time-dependent density functional theory model.”

“I’d love to,” Bucky says honestly. He bites his lip. “Maybe over coffee?”

A delighted smile spreads across Tony’s face. “I’d really like that.”

He holds out his hand for Bucky to take, which he does. Tony’s hand is small and warm, fitting perfectly against his. They stand there, smiling at each other like idiots, until the surly security guard pokes his head around the corner and asks, “Boss, do you need me to drive you?”

Tony jumps. He shoots Bucky a sheepish grin and then calls over his shoulder, “No, I think we can walk, Happy.”

“Are you sure? There’s—”

“It’s only two blocks.”

“Yeah, but—”

“You know what, Happy. You should go see if Natasha needs you to drive her somewhere. I think she’s got a date too.” While Happy is distracted, Tony tugs Bucky towards a side door he hadn’t noticed earlier. “Come on,” he mutters. “Before Natasha decides to kill me for sending Happy to interrupt her.”

“You could not antagonize her,” Bucky points out.

Tony shoots him a mischievous grin. “Where’s the fun in that?”

[xhanisai]

Confront the boundary line of good and evil in my heart

AO3 / FFN

Summary: 

It wasn't her fault! No way whatsoever! But still... Still... 'It really does hurt so bad...so much, I can't take it!'

~(x)~ . . . Tick. Tock. "I'm so sorry Chat Noir! I didn't mean to- I just- I just completely broke down and she was right there and I needed someone-" "It's okay, Bug. I understand, don't apologise," Tick. Tock. "It's not okay at all! You've wanted to know for so long, so patiently and I have always said no- and then look at me now! A hypocrite! This is probably a huge sucker-punch for you and I hate that I've always kept on hurting you back then but now, this takes the cake-" "N-No, I'm fine, honest...really. What matters is your happiness and wellbeing-" "But what about you!?" "..." Tick- "...Kid, talk to me, please. The way you're staring out into space is scaring me." The subdued, raspy voice belonging to the ancient being of destruction went unheard. The boy in question continued to observe the empty space in front, sitting on top of his bed with his knees tucked under his chin and his arms folded in front, hiding the lower half of his face. If one were to enter the room, they would instantly freeze from the glower of the boy's fiery emerald greens that were begging to pool with unshed tears and the aura of his stone-cold demeanour. From the waft of his internal turmoil, even a blind person would be able to pick up that he was currently the host of bad luck. "...Adrien...I want to help, I want to understand, so talk to me!" Once again, Plagg was left ignored, leaving him no choice but to float back down to his pillow and direct his pleading kitten eyes at the blonde, his tiny heart shattered from the state of his chosen. Alas, even he was helpless, his feline ears and whiskers drooping with sorrow. 'But you won't understand. You never did and you never will. No one will ever understand.' Adrien didn't even flinch, didn't even bat an eye. He was a statue of apathy and aloofness; though deep down inside, he was a maelstrom of agonising pain. Oh, so much pain. It was excruciating. He wanted to suit up and claw through the rooves of Paris whilst screaming in anguish. He wanted to find every billboard that had his face on it and tear through it all like paper. He wanted to shred and pulverise his useless, traitorous heart along with its despicable feelings and emotions. But most importantly, he wanted to rip the magical ring off his finger and throw it into La Seine with all his might and then cry for the rest of eternity. And he hates that he feels that way. Absolutely, ridiculously, hates that he feels betrayed. Self-loathing and disgust have taken over his body like a puppet and rendered him completely useless, like a toy forgotten at the bottom of the box, never to see the light of day ever again. The feeling of uselessness and pure shame replaced the blood running through his veins and numbed him to the point where he was equivalent to a powerless machine. He felt his throbbing heart fall deeper and deeper into the pit of his stomach. It wasn't her fault! No way whatsoever! But still... Still... 'It really does hurt so bad...so much, I can't take it!' The younger, softer, naive part of himself which was usually tucked away within the dark, hidden crevices of his heart, screamed as if the rest of humanity's lives depended on it. It was taking Adrien everything to keep him out. 'Is it too much to ask for only one constant in my life? Is it too much to ask for one thing to remain the same? Is it too much for anyone to stop keeping me at arm's length!?' . It is. . It is. . Deep down inside, below the platinum chains and iron bars of solid, concrete denial, he always knew that Ladybug never considered him as close as he did with her. And why should she? Just because he performed an act of common, proper human decency and helped an old man get his walking stick back? Just because he was gifted with the power to destroy anything he touches in order to save the day? Just because he knew how to fight possessed villains alongside her? Just because he's in love with her? . "I'm literally the worst." Adrien finally spoke out loud ever since he returned from...that patrol many hours ago. Despite his words, his soul couldn't help but weep and pray that it was all one huge, cruel nightmare. A twisted, sick joke that whatever deities out there have concocted up just for him. Anything! Yet, this was his reality. "I disagree." The boy snapped his gaze towards the kwami, his brows furrowing for elaboration on the little God's part. "I may not be human but I do have feelings and I can empathise. I've existed from the beginning of time and I've witnessed many, many things in my lifetime." Plagg then floated towards him, settling on Adrien's arm so that he was face to face. "You're not in the wrong here, kid. It's okay to feel like this-" "No, it's not!" Adrien's sudden outburst had the kwami shoot away in surprise, the boy instantly turning baffled at his own harsh reaction and then visibly paling even further. He caught sight of his own reflection on a nearby mirror, cringing at the monstrous mess that looked back. With a frustrated sigh, he leapt off the bed, solemnly treading towards his windows, fingers digging into his upper arms as if he was hugging himself. . The luminous moon that shone through the night sky, what was once a beacon of freedom in the past, never looked so unappealing to the distraught hero. His usually glittering eyes were vacant, devoid of any joy and hope whilst his lips were etched in a permanent frown. How many fake smiles and empty words of wisdom did he force out in front of his Lady earlier on? He's lost count. And how many more times will he have to keep doing that, knowing that there will always be another person out that there that Ladybug trusts more than she'll ever trust him? . "I stand by with what I said," Plagg quipped once more, his host quietly surprised with how the little God managed to get so close without him realising. "The two of you have been thrust into a messy situation with very little guidance and a whole bunch of rules which only complicated it further." He then directed his eyes from the moon to the boy. "Yes, I agree that Ladybug's decision in confiding with someone about her identity was a good idea, but as a result of that, it's brought you so much pain. You are not the worst and it's okay to cry it out. It's okay to tell her how you really feel." He placed one of his tiny hands on Adrien's cheek, ears and whiskers still weighed with melancholy as the boy allowed his eyes to prick with tears. One drop. Two drops. Three drops. Four. "It shouldn't hurt- I...I shouldn't be so selfish! Even if she never told me, I was able to tell that she wasn't able to handle her civilian life any longer, especially after becoming the Guardian- I'm supposed to protect her and be by her side! Not throw a tantrum like a three-year-old just because I'm not the one she decided to tell about her secret identity! And then adding my own stupid feelings and insecurities to her plate? I'll be a burden!" The dam was broken and the overwhelming feelings within Adrien cascaded like a tsunami. "You have plenty on your plate as well-" "But I'm used to it, she isn't. I was born and raised to deal with these kinds of things anyway so it's a no brainer for me to shut up and accept it all with a smile-" He paused abruptly, a wet gasp escaping his throat as he leaned against the glass for support when even more realisation sunk in. 'I have been dealing with so many responsibilities ever since I was born...and that puts us on the same boat...so why couldn't she have confided with me then?' Adrien dropped to his knees, fingernails scraping against his scalp as he tried to fight back against those negative thoughts and questions. 'Why am I never good enough? Not for Maman, not for Père and now...not for Ladybug...?' 'Why am I even here then?'

"Adrien...you don't need to put a mask on when you're with me. Cry it all out. I'm not gonna sit by and watch you destroy yourself from inside out because of your inability to address your true feelings. I'm right here, I'll even destroy all the wretched butterflies that dare to come by- so please, let it all out," "I can't! If I do, I'll never be able to go back and nothing will be the same again-" "And if you don't, then things will change for the worse and trust me, kid, that is the last thing you need." Finally, Plagg's words unravelled the obstacles that slowed down the flood and Adrien couldn't help but give in. His body shook and a whole new fresh wave of tears pooled down his eyes, teeth biting down on his lip to prevent the sobs from bursting out. . "...It hurts Plagg...it hurts so much! I love her...and I trust her so much but it hurts! I know she trusts me on a level and I know that multiple times she's mentioned that I'm irreplaceable but dammit! Why does it all feel like a lie!? She did the right thing in telling her civilian best friend, she finally has someone to look after herself- but why does it feel so wrong? Why is my heart in so much pain? Why can't I stop crying? If Ladybug won't lean on me, then what am I here for? And if I can't lean on Ladybug...who...who do I have?" . "...I may not be much and I may talk about nothing but cheese...but you'll always have me, kid," "I want to believe you, I want to so badly, Plagg...but I can't. I feel so alone...I've always been alone... ...And I'll always be alone..." . . . A couple of hours ago, just shy under midnight on a lone, hidden rooftop, if a curious civilian looked up, they would have seen Ladybug and Chat Noir locked in an embrace. However, what they would have noticed first was the absolutely broken, heartwrenching expression Noir wore... ...As if his entire world has fallen apart... . . . ~(x)~ A/N: Just wondering if I should make a sequel and give these two poor cats a happy ending~

[prose-for-hire]

Hopelessly devoted

Pairing: Faith x vamp!reader

Request: I was wondering if I could request something for a sort of ,,reformed'' vampire(theyve had their soul for a while) falling for either Oz or Faith and trying real hard to get on their good side? similar to that of spike I think only they arent as much of a creep abt it aojsbdis thanks

Requested by: Anon

Warning: Mention of killing in reader’s past.

A/N: There... might need to be a second part 💖

Hope was a concept you had always detested. It wasn’t tangible and it made people cling to things that often should have been long forgotten. Hope was something you had tried to remove from everyone’s hearts. Something that you detested more than the lives you had taken.

You had been around for some decades now. A lot of it was very similar. Human nature, for instance. They mistrusted you and for good reason. They could sense it although they did not know what the feeling was. The hair on the back of their neck would stand on end. Their heartbeats would quicken.

In the old days, this would excite you. Make you laugh even. The fear had been intoxicating. Like a fine seasoning. But now, it didn’t interest you. It just made you feel embarrassed.

You fought for your soul. Almost half a century ago now. You had come to terms with it, for the most part. Although, it wasn’t something you could get over in a night.

One thing, that had made your life brighter since was a sudden growing affection that had creeped up on you. For a Slayer.

It had given you a feeling inside. A small ember of something you hadn’t experienced long enough to name in the recent past. Something you hadn’t believed would be possible for someone like you. After all the ways you had tried to snuff the light from everyone else.

It was Faith. You were hopelessly devoted to her. In every sense. You would lay down your un-life for her. Commit every waking moment of yours to her. It was an unending, eternal affection that consumed every inch of you.

You hadn’t known what to do with it to begin with. How to express it. It soon became clear you would need to find a confidant as you couldn’t even begin to express these feelings to her. However, when you had bumped into Spike who you had known from the old days, he wasn’t much help.

For one, he was crying over Drusilla and completely drunk. Wasted out of his mind. The only advice that hadn’t been a slurred mess was when he advised you to watch her every movement until she wore down and gave you the time of day. Which, you had told him firmly that you wouldn’t be doing.

However, tonight, it did appear that this was what you were doing. She was walking through the graveyard alone and her scent had caught your attention as you walked through the streets looking for something to fill your time. Her natural scent was like a sweet perfume. It called to you. Sung heady notes of affection.

You had followed her to the graveyard. You weren’t skulking from the shadows. You weren’t prowling behind gravestones. You were just casually walking up to her. About to announce your presence.

What you didn’t realise was that she had been listening to music. Buffy had always warned her not to take her earphones to patrol but she trusted her instincts. And plus, she was so very bored without it. She often patrolled alone whereas Buffy got all her friends around her.

So, you were about to tap her on her shoulder and say hello when she swung around, taking you by the throat and slamming you against the closest mausoleum. You had squeaked in surprise and then subsequently coughed to try and cover it up as she did.

From nowhere she whipped a stake out and held it to your chest. Your eyes widened and your mouth opened slightly but no more sound came out. You just stood there, almost in awe of her as her hand clasped tight around your throat.

A thought came to mind, that you would at least be happy that she would be the last thing you saw before being damned to an eternal hell dimension.

“You wanna move that heart away from my stake?” She asked, when she finally registered that it was you.

“Sorry, I-I was just-” You stuttered as she moved away from the hold she had on you. You felt yourself move with her, trying to feel her touch for as long as possible.

“Following me? Actin’ on this massive jones you got for me?” She teased. She was joking but it wasn’t a joke to you. You looked away as she stepped back allowing you space. Your eyes had bulged in horror as you looked down, averting your gaze.

“I’m sorry, I was just trying to help”

“Yeah, well, don’t need my own stalker” She warned and you looked so beyond embarrassed it almost hurt her. She wanted to take her words back but she knew you would notice if she did.

“No! N-no not stalking, just making sure that you were, um, okay. I sensed you and-”

“I’m kiddin’, man, don’t freak” She punched your arm in a friendly way and both of you looked at each other slightly awkwardly. You frowned for a moment before you began to smile. She enjoyed the way it made your features brighten and it instantly made her feel better for having spoken the way she had.

“Sorry, I’m not really used to modern humour, I kind of shut myself away after I got my soul… I’m getting used to it though, it was… funny!” You blurted all of this out really quickly before adding the part at the end, trying to make her feel better. Her brow was furrowing again.

She found this admittance endearing almost. She watched your lips as you spoke. She wanted to kiss you. Usually she would make a move. She could give a person a look and end up taking them home. But this meant so much more. With you. She found herself getting a little nervous around you, wanting to make a move but feeling as if she would be rejected. Laughed at, although you had never been like that.

She couldn’t express her feelings. Instead she made jokes about you liking her, trying to gauge your reaction. Which, of course was neutral. Your mental health was still fragile ever since your soul had returned and you couldn’t risk the emotional reaction you may get if she tore your heart from your chest and crushed it with her bare hands.

“I can go though, if it would make you more comfortable-” You insisted, all you wanted was for her to feel comfortable around you.

“No!” She shouted, cringing at the note of desperation she heard in her own voice, “Uh, no, it’s nice to see you y’know? B’s always there when we’re talkin’ now”

You nodded, having noticed this too. When you and Faith would talk when you were able to meet the others in the library, Buffy and the others would always have something for one of you to do on the opposite side of the room. Or just plant themselves into your conversation.

It embarrassed you, that these people could tell that you liked her so much. That they were trying to save Faith from you. Your cursed love for her. Your heart was hers but you understood that just because it was reserved that way, it didn’t mean she would want to choose it from the pile.

This, actually, wasn’t entirely true. That Buffy was ‘saving’ Faith from you. And in some sense, Buffy was trying to save you from Faith too. She knew exactly what it was like to fall and be in a relationship with a vampire. The slayer and vampire love was one she wouldn’t wish on her own enemy. Not even Faith.

You were both good people, Buffy was sure of it, and so she was trying to prevent the inevitable heartbreak that she could sense building between you.

The blonde slayer had been surprisingly accepting of you on the whole, even in your more demonic years you had been more about survival than torture. Plus, you hadn’t been cursed your soul had been sought out - so you weren’t seen as that much of a threat.

This kept happening after a while. The two of you crossing paths on patrol. Until you began to plan where to meet in the evenings rather than hoping to bump into the other. You would meet and patrol together. Both of you enjoying these moments, Faith needed the company. She had felt very lonely until you had begun to power through your worries and try to befriend her the way you had always wanted to.

She enjoyed that it was you though. Your company she was keeping. She would run your interactions through her mind as she sat in her motel room. Just as you would from your crypt.

When you first got to know each other, you had begun talking and found commonalities. Reasons to become fond of the other. You noticed how she didn’t flinch away from you when she first learned about your past the way many others had.

You had been getting on so well that one evening as you were paying for your blood at the butchers, it dawned on you. You hadn’t been doing anything particularly meaningful. Just staring at the jars of blood, salivating guiltily. Until you thought it.

I love Faith.

Such a simple thought, but with such a rush of feelings behind them. It began to descend on you at once after this. A waterfall that you were sure would never stop flowing. You adored her. The way she moved, the way she acted. The softer side you had caught from her on occasion. When you had made her feel comfortable enough to let it slip even for a second.

It was another evening, after you had agreed to meet near the gargoyle that looked a little bit like the Mayor. You walked beside the other, where you would both wish for a demon to occupy your time if you were alone, you began to hope that nobody would interrupt your time together.

You would laugh and swap stories. It was everything. You stole glances at the other when you thought they weren’t looking. Your hands became so close when you were walking that you wanted to reach between the space and entwine your fingers with hers.

Faith had some trouble with getting the hang of this fighting technique that Wesley and Giles had insisted every Slayer should know. Buffy could do it with her eyes closed, of course and Faith was feeling like the understudy again. She wanted to hone her skills like Buffy did but without the ancient old guy staring at her while she did.

As you walked through the exit of the cemetery, you steeled yourself and decided to be brave.

“I could help, if you like…” You offered with a smile. You were experienced at fighting after all.

“Yeah?”

“Sure, as long as it’s not on a sunny afternoon” You joked which made her laugh.

“Hey, you’re gettin’ it” She nodded in approval of your improved humour since you and her had been spending more time together. You grinned gleefully at the compliment and she walked ahead of you, hiding her own smile at the way your face brightened at her words. She loved seeing you smile. Even more so when she was the reason you were smiling.

She stepped into the road and turned to you, wanting to get another look. So she could picture it later, when she was cold and only had the broken tv for company. You were looking at each other and just smiling.

Your smile suddenly dropped. You panicked, sensing the danger before she did. In the past, it would have been a good feeling, the lick of terror. It snapped through the air like a whip. Struck your senses in a way that would elicit a human’s hair standing on end. Goosebumps rising.

Accidental death meant tragedy. Blood. It meant adrenaline. Easy prey. You had enjoyed the taste. You hated that you had enjoyed the taste.

But the feeling was still identifiable. The warning signals still there but it now only meant dread.

Especially when it came to her. You ran at Faith, just hoping you would get to her in time.

“Faith! Watch out!” You screamed.

You tackled her, moving her out of the way of the oncoming traffic. Her slayer senses hadn’t been quick enough for the van that was heading her way. She had been so distracted by the way your features were lit up by the moonlight.

All of the time you had been spending with each other, hidden away from the others. Not telling them that you were together so often. She held onto this, needing this. Needing you. You were sweet, which she hadn’t ever thought she could call a vampire. Even less she wouldn’t think she would have fallen for such a seemingly sweet person.

You couldn’t lose each other, not now you were just finding each other.

You landed, tumbling together onto the other side of the road. Just in time. You landed above her, almost pressed flat against her. You couldn’t help just staring. Holding yourself up slightly so you could see her face.

She was trying to catch up with what had happened, her breathing heavy. That had gone so fast, she could have been really hurt. But you had saved her. Protected her.

She had always prided herself on the way she was so independent. On how she could look out for herself. But the truth was, she wanted you to be there. She wanted to be allowed to fall into your arms, just as she would hold you in hers.

You looked at each other and time stopped. Your eyes flickered from hers to her lips, if she blinked she could have missed it. Her eyes were scanning your face. She loved the way you looked at her as if the entire world revolved around her. You were so close you could feel her breath on your face. All you wanted to do was lean in and kiss her. Catch your lips with hers. She shifted slightly and you thought she might move in, but when she didn’t the feeling of desperate yearning turned into concern.

Concern that she may reject you. That you would no longer get these stolen moments. These patrols where all that made your soul feel relaxed. Comfortable. As if your soul could only feel safe when hers was near. She meant too much. You pulled away, moving your gaze from her.

You got to your feet and heard her exhale. You couldn’t tell if it was from relief or because of the same tension you felt. You weren’t sure you would ever know. You had tried so hard to get onto her good side. To show her you wanted to be friendly. But, this was so much more. It meant too much.

You offered your hand, helping her up and she took it. As she got to her feet, your hands clutching hers. The touch lingered. Until she pulled away. You didn’t realise but she had been about to lean in. Press her lips to yours, the way she had been imagining so often recently. But you had moved away too quickly.

You both looked at each other for a moment in silence before Faith nodded her thanks. You didn’t speak, as if it would be too much after what had happened. Both of you had known that meant something. That this was new. You dared to hope that the other felt the same, but both were too nervous to say. Because rejection, the thought of losing the other. The company. The understanding. Was too great.

You wanted to be hers. Wanted to tell her what she meant to you. You wanted happiness… love. But not at the expense of her feelings should she not reciprocate. So you parted ways, as you always did just before sunrise. You went your way, she went hers.

Your souls, they lingered together like your touch had, not wanting to leave their fate. Maybe one day, they might be allowed to stay together. Once you both worked on prising open your hearts. Allowing the other in.

All you had left now was hope.

[kendallroydefender]

Late nights at Hawkins High Part 2 (Billy Hargrove x reader)

Part 1

You went to stand in the line to get your degree in the sun on the field where you and Billy shared your first kiss a few months ago. It felt like an eternity ago. You waited until they called your last name, walked onto the stage shaking hands with the headmaster and he handed you the piece of paper that meant you were free. After the ceremony you walked up to the mullet haired boy that was your boyfriend. You and Billy had been going strong for the last months. "Hey there.“ you smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck, his went around your waist as he gave you a sweet kiss "Hey princess. Congrats.“ he whispered against your lips as you parted slightly "Congrats to you too.“ you smiled at him. You took his hand into yours and walked to where your parents where standing. "Look at you two! Congratulations!“ your mother said and gave both of you a big hug, your father did the same afterwards. Your parents liked Billy alot even before you became a couple and they were even happier as you told them that you were in a relationship. You talked to them a bit until his father, his stepmom and Max came over to where you were standing. "Congratulations!“ Susan said as they approached you. "Who would’ve thought Billy was getting a degree!“ his father laughed, it seemed like he wanted it to sound like a joke but you knew his intentions behind it so you took your boyfriends hand again and gave it a squeeze. Your parents talked for a bit with his parents and Neil threw quite a view mean "jokes“ toward Billy.

After a few more minutes you excused yourself and walked a bit away from the group. "I fucking hate him.“ you muttered once you were sure they couldn’t hear you anymore. "Me too, but it’s only one more night.“ he said and you began to smile widely. Tomorrow you would leave Hawkins and you couldn’t be happier to start this new chapter of your life. "Y/n, Billy!“ Someone called and you saw your other best friend Robin come towards you. "Oh my god hey!“ you two hugged each other "Can you believe it? We actually did it!“ you said "I know right?!“ she went to give Billy a hug afterwards. When you and Billy had first got close she wasn’t a fan of him at all. She actually despised him but they eventually got on fine with each other and once she saw how happy he made you she didn’t hated him that much anymore. She was actually happy after you told her that you were together now since she knew how much you liked him and she just wanted her best friend to be happy. One particular Friday night when Robin was staying at your house Billy tapped on your window almost giving her a heart attack thinking the monster from the movie you had just watched was coming. That night he let Robin in on his secret after you swore to him that he could trust her that she wouldn’t tell anyone. After that she understood why he was acting the way he used to in school better.

You and your two friends talked a bit until someone screamed "HARGROVE!“ you saw Billy cringe slightly "Hey Tommy“ Billy said to the boy that approached you all now. "What’s up? You gonna come to my party tonight right?“ he asked and Billy shrugged looking at you gave a small nod. "Yeah guess so.“ He said and Tommy clapped his back "That’s my man!“. They continue talking and you turn towards Robin "You’re coming too right?“ she makes a disapproving sound "It’s my last night and I want to spend it with my best friend please!“ you whine and a smile breaks out on her face "Okay okay!“ you hug her thightly once more.

Afterwards you and Billy went to your parents house to have dinner with them. They originally wanted to invite the Hargrove/Mayfield household too but you asked them not to. Without much explaining you had told your family that Billy had a difficult relationship with his father and that Neil was not a nice person. Billy was happy when he sat down at your table now. He always felt welcomed in your parents home and he was so thankful that they’d accepted him into their lives. You all ate and talked freely. You were also extremely happy seeing your parents and your boyfriend get along so nicely. After the dinner your parents handed you both a envelope. "We have a little present for the two of you. Go on open it!“ your mother said and you opened it, in it were two checks with 500 dollars each. Your family was far from rich so thousand dollars was a lot of money for you. "I- I can’t take this.“ Billy said shaking his head. "Billy. We love you, you are a part of this family now and we thought you two would need a little something for California.“ you father said. Billy looked at it for another moment while he blinked, he looked at your father "Thank you! A lot. Thank you.“ your mother gave the blonde another hug and you thanked them after that. You were so happy to have a loving family and you were sad to leave them. But you would had left Hawkins even if you hadn’t met Billy. You wanted to leave this town since you were 12.

"I can’t believe you are leaving me here!“ Robin pouted but you knew there were no hard feelings. You two sat on a bench in the garden of Tommys House, everyone else was inside drinking and dancing. After a bit Billy came through the door "Here you are.“ you shuffled closer to Robin so he could sit next to you. "Oh I forgot to tell you! I went to get my work uniform today and guess who’s my co worker?“ she asked you pulled your eyebrows up "Who?“ she took a sip from the red cup before saying "Steve fucking Harrington!“ you chuckled "Don’t laugh! It’s a nightmare!“ now you actually let out a laugh "Geez Robin maybe he’s nice...“ she rolled her eyes at you "He’s a dingus!“ "I agree!“ Billy said and you shot him a glance "You shouldn’t be so quick to judge him. Remember I wasn’t so happy either when I was paired up with this one.“ you nodded your head towards Billy "Hey!“ he chuckled holding a hand over his heart. "You know i love you know. But you were mean back then.“ you explained yourself "Yeah I was a dick...“

"Look people can change maybe you and Steve will become friends.“ Robin made a disgusted face "Okay stop before im going to puke.“ you leaned your head onto Billy’s shoulder as the topic of the conversation changed.

As you were about to leave you remembered to ask something "Oh Robin you’re coming over tomorrow right?“

"Of course what time?“ you thought about it "Billy comes over at 12 so maybe 10?“ she nodded and you all got into your parents car wich you drove since you didn’t owned one yourself and neither did Robin and the camaro was already packed with your suitcases and stuff you wanted to take with you to your knew home. You drove Robin home and then made your way to Billy’s house. "You really don’t want to stay over at mine?“ you asked as you looked at the House in front of you. "Nah my dad would actually kill me if I would do that.“ he leaned over to give you a kiss "Also after tonight I can share a bed with you every night.“ you hummed as you leaned in again. The sweet little kiss turned into a small make out session. Kissing Billy still made you nervous but a good kind of nervous, the butterflies were still there everytime. "I love you Billy.“ you said and he gave you a peck again "I love you too.“ he opened the door "See you tomorrow.“ he said. Once he reached the door he winked at you and then he was gone.

The next morning you had breakfast with your parents and packed a few things you needed like your shampoo and toothpaste, everything else was already in the Camaro. You had been able to downgrade your need of rooms once you were actually a couple since you wouldn’t need two separate bedrooms anymore. The flat you had ended up renting wasn’t that big but you loved it when you visited it a few weeks ago also it wasn’t far from the beach. Billy had already found a job there, one of his old friends had known someone who looked for a lifeguard this summer and being a California native he easily got the job. You would look for one in the coming weeks even though Billy was always telling you to apply for college in California but you wanted to start college with him next year.

Robin came over to your house and you talked until Billy came over. You said your goodbyes to your parents first crying but they assured you that you did the right thing and that the two would be back to thanksgiving anyway. Robin hugged you tight and you had to swear to her to call every week at least once and meet up with her when you were in town. You also told her that she should come visit you at the end of summer. While you talked to her your parents hugged Billy goodbye and once you parted Robin looked at the mulled haired boy "Come here you Dingus!“ they hugged and you heard her say "Take good care of her!“ he chuckled "I will.“ she smiled too "Yeah I know.“ you got into the car’s passenger seat, still crying and you all waved as you left. "Are you sure you want to do this... with me?“ Billy asked almost whispering. "Of course I want to B!“ he didn’t looked at you "Billy I love you and I want to start this new part of my life with you! I’m sure in this decision! I want this.“ he smiled now "I want this too. Fuck You don’t know how happy I am that I’m able to leave and on top of that I have you.“ you intertwined your fingers with his and he gave your hand a kiss.

The drive was exhausting, you took turns driving so the other could sleep but finally you did it. The moment you stood in the living room of your new home you knew this long drive was worth it. You squealed as you hugged Billy close giving him a few fast kisses. You were able to get a small flat that was already furnished. Sure it wasn’t anything fancy but you wouldn’t want to have it any other way. This was perfect. After you brought your stuff inside you decided to take a walk on the beach and get some takeaway.

Billy watched the smile on your face wich made him smile as well. You walked hand in hand, the water beside you and you just looked stunning to him. He could actually cry because of how happy he was. "I can’t believe this.“ Billy said and you looked up at him "I know it’s perfect here.“ he stopped walking causing you to also halt. "I love you y/n. You don’t know how much and I’d never thought that would be possible but here I am.“ you smiled up at the boy with the blonde mullet and your heart hammered in your chest. "I love you too Billy Hargrove.“ he smiled a genuine smile, the one he gave only you before he slipped his hand in yours and kissed the back of it briefly as you started to walk along the shore again.

[rikiflowers]

first move; Levi

- warnings: fluff, cursing 

- modern au, Levi Ackerman x y/n 

- 2.1 k words 

- how to make the first move - 

“Behave, y/n. I don‘t want our family dishonoured because of you”. You internally rolled with your eyes, while a small smile is plastered on your face. It was the plainest task to do. Just smile, even if you want your lovely mother to shut up. Your parents and you were in the car on the way to some exclusive banquet, where the most influential people of the high society meet. Unfortunately, your family was a part of this, and you wished it wouldn’t be like this. Wealth is a disease, crippling through the minds of humans with a rising superior complex. They don’t need the amount of money; 

They just want to show it off, savouring the gazes and the whispers behind their back. It disgusts you. You’re looking out of the window, your mind was absent, flooding in some fantasy worlds you loved to read secretly, because your parents don’t want you wasting your time. Sometimes your mind drifts to a face you wanted to displace so bad. Your mind doesn’t let you, reminding you of him and it makes you sad. You wish you could talk to him, but you weren’t brave enough to do so.

The delicate dress you’re wearing sits tight on you, restricting your ability to breath properly, but who cares? As long as you look lovely. In your worlds, you hear your parents argue. Couldn’t they have done it before you were stuck with them? They’re shouting at each other the whole time, calling themselves names. Did they really love each other once? You saw for a moment the pure coldness in your father’s eyes and the hatred in your mother’s ones. 

You couldn’t believe they did love each other once. Quickly you looked away, instead watch how the sky is turning grey. It looks like rain is coming soon and you love it. The rain was always there, tapping on your windows, when you thought the whole world crumbles around you. Rain was your comforting friend.

“Ugh, it starts to rain. Make sure they have umbrellas.”, your mother spats at your father. He only nods. They seem to calm down, but the atmosphere stays uncomfortable. You sigh, but it goes gladly unheard. It felt like an eternity, but you’re finally there at the monstrous hotel, where the banquet is held. You already hear reporter, flashlights from cameras and so many people shouting. Your mind is already on the brink. The demanding look of your mother wasn’t helping at all and you pinch your dress, to calm yourself down, because your hands are trembling. Your father is the first and he gets out with such a fake smile, your mother follows him and then it was your time.

Instantly the flashlights dazzle your eyes, anxiety creeping inside of you. Your mind goes black, while your mother takes your arm, guiding you into the building. You force a smile to the reporter around you, until it’s plastered on your lips. “y/n.”. Your mother whispers at you. Before she could scold you, a familiar face appears on your sight. “Hello Mr. and Mrs. l/n. I am glad to see you.”. Abruptly your mother’s focus was on him and you internally thanked him. Erwin Smith, your best friend is captured in a hug from your father and your mother clinging to him. You felt sorry for him.

 “Erwin, I’m relieved to see you here.”, your father spoke to him with such fondness. When was the last time he spoke to you like that? “Mrs. l/n you look as beautiful as ever.”, Erwin says with a smile to your mother and you see her blushing. Disgusting. “Oh, Erwin darling, you’re flattering me.”, she replies. “You don’t mind that I take y/n with me?”, he asks gently. “Take her, we need to discuss business, anyway.”.

They didn’t even look at you, walking away to discuss some oh-so-important-business. They meant robbing the money out of people, milking them for their own benefit. “y/n, you look alluring tonight.”, he whispers in your ear and you want to punch him. “Thanks for the rescue, Erwin.”. He only waves. “I saw the look in your eyes, so it was the duty of a gentleman to rescue the princess.” A low chuckle escapes his lips and you really want to punch him. He was always so slick.

His hand is on your waist, softly guiding you. Here and there were important people and you smiled at them, talked about the weather, getting compliments. Always the same routine, but it was always too much for your mind. “By the way...”, he starts, and you look at him, while he passes you a glass full of prickling champagne. “he’s here too, so please don’t exaggerate.”.

You knew exactly who Erwin is referring to. His fingers quickly brush over your hands, a sign that he’s here. Your heart beats like crazy. You couldn’t face him. Not him, after you did-

“Does he hate me?”, you whisper, and he laughs. “After you drunkenly told him you would totally suck his dick, ugly cried and then threw up on him…I don’t know y/n.”. He was clearly joking but it hurts. “Fuck you.”. He chuckles again and you cringe so much because of the flashbacks of this one night. You never wanted to step out of your room again. Never. Erwin pats your head, grazing his fingertips over the lost strands of your hair, while you chunk down the champagne.

“Levi is on the other side of the room and he looks at me, like he wants to chop me alive.”

“What?”, you screech, not knowing how to act. “Why?”, was the next thing that escapes your lips. You don’t dare to look in the direction Erwin told you. His clear eyes lay on you, hovering over you, because he’s so huge. “Because he’s jealous.”, the blond man simply states, leaving you confused as ever.

You couldn’t reply, because you saw Levi making his way to the both of you and you want to run, quickly. In a matter of seconds, you’re heading in a random direction, not knowing where the hell you’re going. It was clear that many eyes followed you, but it doesn’t matter right now. You want to escape.

“fucking wait, brat.”, he called with his low voice and it sends shivers down your spine. The body of yours works on your own, running as your life depends on it, but unfortunately, you were too slow. His hand captures your wrist, while you’re climbing up the stairs. You nearly lost your balance.

A curse leaves your lips. “Where do you think you’re going?”, he spats while drag you downstairs. A fucking hell. “Let go, the people are looking.”, you breath, clearly feeling uncomfortable. “Fuck them, you wanted to run away like child.”, he replies.

You don’t say anything, looking anywhere but at him. The raven-haired man scoffs. “The last time you weren’t so shy at all and now you’re ignoring me and flirting with Erwin. I’m too old for plays.”, he coldly states, letting go of your wrist. Your mouth works faster than your brain. “I don’t fucking flirt with him you asshead.”, you return, clearly offended. “What?”, he slowly asks, and it feels threatening.

“you idiots, this is an important banquet, and everyone is here. Don’t make a damn scene.”. Erwin was now on your side, speaking quietly, because the people behind you started to whisper. You’re looking at the crowd, seeing your parents faces, which weren’t really pleased. Fuck. Levi scoffs. It never matters to him what others say. His reputation as a misfit in the high society fits him well. He doesn’t give a shit.

But sadly, you give a shit. “...About the shares Erwin, how could I invest in- “, you don’t know what you’re saying, but Erwin does. Your voice feels so strange, but you can’t stop. You need to hold on to the reputation your parents want so badly. He catches your back, replies to you in a different language, you think. Levi is quiet now, and you feel his eyes bore into you and it makes you tremble. He judges you.

You both were loud enough to be heard. The crowd of people disappears. They wanted a scandal, but you don’t give them one. You don’t need to feed these beasts. After a few minutes you sigh. “Thanks Erwin.”, you say to your best friend, who just smiles. “Tch.”, escapes from the lips of the raven-haired man and it makes your heart ache. He was about to turn around, but you call his name.  

He doesn’t react. “please.”, you whisper but he goes away. You set a step, but Erwin holds you, forming a silent ‘no’ with his lips. Levi’s head turns around. “chose y/n. Do you want to be a brainless princess, pampered in money or do you take your own path?”, he asks you and you nearly break down. The words hurt, because he was right. You freeze on spot and Erwin stands beside you, helplessly like you. He goes away.

It seems so fucking easy for him, but that wasn’t easy. You have no position to choose and yet he looks down on you. Anger gathers in you. You want to shout at him, you want to punch him and a small part in you wants to kiss the fuck out of him, sadly.

It was a matter of seconds that you decide what to do. You ran after him. After minutes of standing in the hallway, you ran, hoping to find the black-haired man. Nothing matters at this moment; you don’t even see Erwin’s soft smile. He’s proud of you, because you’re doing something on your own. You chose for yourself. You ran as your life depends on it. Your dress makes it hard to breathe and you were panting, but you ran, ignoring everything around you.

“Levi!”, you shout the moment you see the black hair before you on the street. He stops and the look on his face was priceless. The man was actually surprised to see you. His grey eyes are wide, looking at you, while you need to catch your breath. “y/n?”, he asks, unsure if this is really you. You realize it rains. Your neatly prepared hair is now ruined, sticks to your face, but it doesn’t matter. “You fucker.”, you spat at him. “You are jealous of fucking what?”, you shout again and Levi blinks.

He doesn’t know how to act. Your behaviour is new, and it takes some seconds for him. His ears turn red. “I wasn’t jealous.”, he replies weakly and he knows that. He’s just confused. His wet hair sticks to his face, while his beautiful eyes lay on you.

“Oh, come on!”, you laugh at him, your heart might burst. You are so brave; it also surprises you. “I know you like me, don’t act like you don’t.”. Your hand finds his well-defined chest and you push him. He takes your arm, holding you in place. “stop acting up, brat.”, he says, after his brain proceeded the situation, but you can’t have his shit anymore.

“fucking make me.”, you return.

Lips crash on lips with such force. Your breath stuck in your throat, while you don’t miss a second to move your hungry lips against his soft, intoxicated ones. You always wanted to kiss him, feeling them on your skin. It’s a hungry kiss. You both fight for dominance.

Levi holds your neck, not wanting to let go. It was hot. The rain mixes with your saliva, making it addicting. You want to drown into the feeling of his soft lips. It feels like magic, an unknown connection between you two. Levi sighs in satisfaction between some soft kisses and finally he pulls away, his face only millimetres away. You were both breathless, standing in the middle of the street and soaking wet. It doesn’t matter.

You smile and he returns it. “I guess you chose.”, he says, absorbing your eyes. “It was time.”, you brush your nose against his and then plaster a kiss on the tip. “I don’t want to know how long I had to wait, till you made the first move.”, you jokingly say but he wasn’t having it. “you mean shouting that you wanted to suck my cock and them throw up is a first move?”, he teased, and you punched him.

“Fuck you, Levi.”.

“I like you too, y/n.”, he returns and captures your lips again.

[bakubabes-tatakae]

A Kunoichi’s Betrayal || Kakashi x Reader x Obito/Tobi

With the brilliant idea by @chidori-mint​ we bring you this (Kakashi x Reader x Obito/Tobi) collab! I hope you all like it. 🥰

Find Part Two Here!

Pairing: Kakashi x Reader x Obito/Tobi

Summary: Just when you decide to finally close a painful chapter in your life and to embrace a fresh start someone from your past will come to face you again.

A/N: Rin does not exist in the AU.

Warnings: angst, major character death in beginning, smut, unprotected sex, non-con, violence

Word Count: 4.8k

*Four Years Ago*

Ninja came back through the gates, your wandering eyes searched for one particular ninja, but the dark-haired weirdo was nowhere to be seen. You searched and searched, running frantically through the crowd of people that were flooding back in. No one would answer you as you begged for someone to tell you where he was. Obito had to be okay, you sat out one mission due to being ill before they left, there was no way that something happened to him. 

Finally, you saw the blonde hair of a familiar man. You ran to your sensei, Minato, and when he turned to you you knew. His face read nothing but pain, not physical pain, but emotional. Your arms immediately felt heavy at your sides. Your body was completely numb. The silver-haired ninja next to him saw you dropping and ran to your side. You dropped to your knees on the ground, falling into the arms of Kakashi Hatake. The only words that he could muster were something you didn’t want to hear. It would never make the situation any better. “I’m sorry.”

Kakashi pulled you into his chest, muffling the sounds of your sobs as the people around you started to stare. This was all a joke, Obito would come running out soon to apologize for how bad of a joke it was. He had to. But when no one came you couldn’t stop yourself anymore. Your screams made Kakashi cringe, he had never wanted to see you like this. He had done everything in his power to keep this from happening. He held you tighter as you shook in his arms. 

Minato walked up to you and knelt down beside you. “Y/n, I’m so sorry. We did everything that we could. I blame myself, if I had been there sooner, maybe I could have helped them.”

You never even looked up, the only reason he knew you heard him was that you stilled in Kakashi’s arms. 

Kakashi placed a hand on your head while the other held you close. “I promised him I’d protect you Y/n.” His voice broke with every word. “And that’s exactly what I’m going to do, even if it takes my life.”

*Present Day*

The butterflies that had made your stomach their home were new. And it was every damn time you saw that silver-haired Jonin. What was he doing to you? This wasn’t supposed to be possible. No, you had to just keep fighting through it. You were just nervous about the mission you were all about to embark on. Nervous about what might happen, you were heading for disaster any way you looked at it. 

Kakashi had promised to protect you and he had always done just that. There was a knock on your front door, it startled you out of the funk you had been in. Reliving every moment of the day you found out about Obito’s death and then dealing with these weird feelings you were developing for Kakashi. You shook your head quickly, hoping it would shake away these thoughts. You stood from your couch and sauntered toward the door. You still hadn’t even accepted Obito’s death, even after four years, you still questioned every day if it was all a big joke. 

The amount of time you had walked through the village and expected to see the black-haired goofball come around you and scoop you up from behind like he always did. As you reached for the door handle you let out a sigh, it was louder than you anticipated it to be as the copy ninja commented from the outside. “Y/n, it’s me. Are you alright in there?”

You slowly opened the door, wrapping the blanket that you had around you tighter. “I’m fine, just a lot on my mind.”

“Thinking about Obito again?” He slowly came inside as you stepped back and walked to the couch again. “I think about him a lot too.”

You pulled your legs underneath you as you sat and he took a seat beside you, sinking into the cushion underneath him. He placed a hand on your thigh hesitantly. The touch of his skin against yours made those same butterflies come back to their home. “I’ll be fine Kakashi.” You gave him a weak smile, but you could tell by his look that he wasn’t convinced. “It’s been four years. I have to let go sometime soon.”

Kakashi slowly stood back up, grabbing your bag that you had left behind the door. “Are you ready to go? The group is waiting at the gates.”

“Yea,” You dropped the blanket from your shoulder, feeling the cold air touch the skin that your vest didn’t cover. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

You closed your door, making sure to lock it behind you. The walk to the gates felt like an eternity. As you approached you saw the familiar faces of Kakashi’s team, you had almost forgotten that they were going to be joining you. Sakura and Naruto stood with Hinata and Kiba, patiently waiting for Kakashi and you to approach. When the two of you approached Yamato also made his presence known. Yamato waved to the two of you. “Are we ready to go?”

Kakashi nodded. “Let’s move out.”

* * * * * * 

Night settled in quickly as the group spent the day walking toward the Land of Iron. As the day began to end and it began to grow dark you could see a group of ninja flying through the forest, our presence still unknown to them. Kakashi tensed and pushed himself closer to you. The group looked around, you knew they didn’t know anyone was below them and you needed to find out where they were headed. Naruto was the first to jump toward the branches of the trees. They didn’t call him the knucklehead ninja without a cause. This left the rest of you to follow him, you could see one of them getting ready to attack, and as Kakashi saw the blue lighting forming around the ninja’s hand he knew who it was. “Sasuke!”

Naruto jumped for him, a Rasengan forming in his palm, but as he was about to hit him Sasuke changed directions. He was completely ignoring the group. Naruto ran for him, gliding through the branches of the trees with ease, but he was stopped by a kick from another unidentified male. This man wore a mask, an orange mask with a spiral pattern on it. Kakashi threw an arm around you and pulled you behind him. “Stay back.” He noticed his robe. “Akatsuki.”

Naruto jumped for him again, Rasengan locked and loaded, but was once again thrown back by a hit. Every blow that you threw at this man was dodged. The group did no good, the more they attacked the farther up the tree he climbed. Kakashi kept you behind him, shielding you from anything that could come your way. As Kakashi watched him you saw his eyes grow wide. 

As Kakashi was frozen in shock you took your opportunity, it was the first time you would be let off the leash. You grabbed a scroll from the pack on your hip and began opening it. As you came into the man’s view and started unrolling the scroll it was as if the man vanished into thin air. You looked around and grabbed a kunai from the pack, ready to cut your finger to get blood for the scroll. 

You all did circles around the area. Everyone on the ground spread out and Yamato, Kiba, and Naruto sailed through the trees, ensuring that the man was actually gone. When he was nowhere to be found you all decided it was time to call it a night. 

* * * * * * 

As night settled in Yamato pointed out the Inn that became visible in the distance and ran ahead of everyone, booking rooms before we even got there. Kakashi made sure to walk you to yours, wanting to be sure you were settled in. After the chaos of the day he was nervous to leave your side. You could see the fear in his eyes as he talked about leaving you alone. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay without me?”

You gave him a weak smile as you took a seat on the bed. “I’ll be fine Kakashi, you don’t have to worry about me so much.”

“I promised him Y/n, I promised that I would never let any harm come to you. I promised that you would always be safe.” He was being wracked by guilt, more than he usually was. 

“Are you okay Kakashi?” You hadn’t seen him like this since that day. 

“I… I’m just having a hard time today, that’s all.” He walked to the bed and sat down next to you, placing his head in his hands. “There’s just something that I want to say to you and I’m not sure if I can.”

Your heart began to beat fast, nervous about what he was about to say to you. “Just say it Kakashi.”

“I can’t,” He looked up at you and his eyes showed nothing but lust in them. That’s when you knew. He had been doing all of this for Obito but had gotten caught into his own feelings as he did. You had never wanted that to happen, but this was going to make you have to face your own feelings. 

“Then let me talk first,” He looked up, a puzzled look painted his face. “Just don’t speak, listen.”

He obliged rubbing his hand down his face before giving you his full attention. 

“Kakashi, I loved Obito so much… that it made me blind. I know exactly what you’re thinking right now.” You sighed. “I’m so sorry that it took me this long to see this. My feelings for Obito never faded and it made it so that I wasn’t able to see you. And when I say you… I mean the real you. It’s clear to me now Kakashi. All these years that you never once left my side… It wasn’t just about your promise to Obito.”

You took a second, afraid that your words would get jumbled if not. “I’ve been in denial. I convinced myself that you were just fulfilling your promise. I know that I made you feel like I was oblivious to all of this.” 

You stood from the bed, your anxiety overtaking you. “I was falling for you Kakashi Hatake. That’s my problem, that’s what I’ve been such a wreck about all day.” You could feel the tears coming, trying hard to hold them back. “I shouldn’t feel this way. How Kakashi? How can I be in love with you? You’re Obito’s best friend, it’s the ultimate betrayal.”

Kakashi was shocked by your revelation. He was so overwhelmed that he had no words, not because you had told him not to speak, but because he couldn’t believe that you had said the same things that he had wanted to. As he saw tears start to paint trails down your cheeks he felt nothing but guilt. He had never thought that the person that confessed feelings first would be you. 

Kakashi had been ready to be rejected if he had gotten the courage to tell you this. He would just continue to love you in silence, keeping your best interests first.

But this had been the other way around. Just the fact that he had feelings for you had given him guilt every moment of every day. But finding out that you had the same feelings as he made it all worse. But even after everything, his love for you would never falter. 

Kakashi stood from the bed and pulled his mask down his face. His hands planted themselves on your hips and pulled you toward him. The feeling of his hands on your waist made your heartbeat even faster. Afraid that he might reject you, afraid that he was about to leave the room. But he did the exact opposite. His lips met yours with nothing but passion. You followed his movements and placed your hands in his hair. 

His lips were soft against your own, his tongue asking for entrance. As you allowed him your tongues danced together. Kakashi spun you around toward the bed and pinned you down upon it. He unzipped your vest and started to pull it off your arms. You had waited for this moment for so long. You wanted to do this, but the farther the two of you went the more guilt you were feeling. As your vest was finally off your arms you felt his lips plant kisses down your neck and shoulder. He looked up at you, you could see the guilt in his eyes as well. “Are you sure you want to do this Y/n?”

You placed a hand on each side of his face and spoke softly. “I’m more than sure Kakashi.” You rubbed his cheek. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this.”

He pushed the tank top that you wore under your vest up, exposing your bra, his hands wandering your chest. His hands slid down your sides, his fingers hooking into the belt loops of your pants, using them to slowly slide your pants down your legs. He left a trail of soft nibbles down your stomach before pulling your pants off your legs and throwing them to the floor at the end of the bed. Kakashi hovered over you, his hand sliding down your stomach and onto your throbbing sex. His hand rubbed your folds before he found your clit, rubbing circles around it. 

You lifted your hands and placed them in his hair, moans escaping your lips as he ruthlessly pleasured your cunt. Kakashi placed his hands on your thighs, digging his fingers into your soft skin as he squeezed them. You grabbed at his vest, helping him strip it along with his long sleeve, black shirt before he pushed your thighs apart. He took in the sight of you whimpering on the bed, ready for him to continue to make you feel on top of the world. 

As his face neared your sex you placed your hand in his hair again, tugging him up toward you. “Kakashi, it’s been four years. Trust me, you don’t need to do that.”

Kakashi smiled at you, reaching for his zipper and pulling his pants down. The bulge that was pushing against his pants finally springing free. “Are you still sure about this?” He placed an arm on each side of you, holding himself over your figure.

You grabbed his face in your hands. “Stop talking.” You wrapped your legs around him and flipped him on his back. “I’m not waiting anymore.” You took his length in your hands and lined him up with your entrance, lowering yourself onto him slowly. Kakashi pushed his head back into the pillows as his length stretched your walls. You slowly moved up and down on him, pure pleasure washing over you, exciting every inch of your body. This was so much better than the toys you had been using at home for years. 

Kakashi held your hips as you bounced, the callouses on them rough against your soft skin. “I’m not gonna last long Y/n.”

You ignored him, throwing your head back, moan after moan escaping you. You could feel the tightness in your abdomen growing, your climax approaching faster than it had in a long time. Kakashi’s fingers dug into your sides as he let a couple pleasured grunts escape him. He tried hard to stay silent, but your movements were too much. “God, Y/n, you’re so tight.”

The lust in his voice put you dangerously close to your high. “Oh god, Kashi. I’m-I’m so close.”

Kakashi grabbed your hips and helped guide you, matching your movements, and pounding himself into you. “Come for me, do it, baby.”

Your walls clamped around him as you felt yourself come undone, Kakashi following you, his seed filling you. You stayed on top of him, leaning down against his chest. He pushed your hair out of your face, the both of you catching your breath. 

As you collapsed next to him you slid your way into his outstretched arm, placing yourself in the small space between his chest and his arm. Exhaustion took over for the both of you and within minutes you were asleep, the soundest sleep the two of you had achieved since Obito had left you. 

* * * * * * 

You were awoken by the sound of Yamato at your door, you had slept through the night, not waking up once. “Y/n, have you seen Kakashi? I went to his room and there was no answer.”

Your eyes grew wide at the sound. You shot up and grabbed a blanket off the bed, wrapping it around you. You cracked the door enough for him to see your face. “He’s in here with me. He came to wake me up earlier. We’ll meet you guys downstairs in a half-hour?”

Yamato looked confused, but as long as he knew where Kakashi was he seemed satisfied. You shut the door behind you and walked back over to the bed. Kakashi was still asleep, how in the hell had he slept through that?

You grabbed your clothes and headed for the shower, starting it and sitting on the toilet to wait for it to warm. A thousand thoughts ran through your head. Had you really slept with Kakashi last night? You thought about how Obito would feel about this if he was looking down on you. Would he hate you for sleeping with his best friend? Or would he just be happy that you had moved on? Even if it had been with Kakashi Hatake.

As the water warmed you hopped into the shower, the warmth of the water hitting your face, calming you some. You sat in silence, just letting the water run over you when you heard the bathroom door opening. Kakashi entered the shower with you, wrapping his strong arms around you, pulling you into him. 

* * * * * * 

It was about an hour’s walk to your next destination. Kakashi and you tried hard not to lead on that the two of you had spent the night together, but you knew that Yamato had probably figured it out.

As you walked you could feel a presence on you, a familiar presence. You were the first to notice it, “Do you feel that?”

Kakashi turned to you. “Huh?”

“Something's wrong, Kakashi. I feel like someone’s watching us." You could swear that something was wrong like something bad was about to happen. A cold rush of wind sent shivers down your skin.  

"Hi!" A playful greeting came from behind and as you tried to turn around you felt the cold metal edge of kunai on your throat.

It was the masked man from the Akatsuki. Everyone froze where they stood. Kakashi’s eyes grew wide. Where did he come from? I didn't even sense him.

"Hey, psycho! Get your dirty hands off of Y/n! Multi Shadow Clone Jutsu!" At least fifty Naruto clones appeared and encircled the team.

"Tobi's not a psycho. Tobi's a good boy!" Tobi's grip on your waist got tighter, you could feel the warmth of his body on your back as he pointed the Kunai closer to your skin. Any wrong move could kill you. "Please don't do anything stupid, Jinchuriki…” There was a sudden change in his voice. “After all, I don't want my princess here to get hurt." It became deep, chilling, and malicious.

With one wave of Tobi's hand, your bodies started to swirl and you both slowly vanished into the thin air. Your surroundings slowly changed. You felt dizzy and fell down on your knees, scraping them on the hard ground.

“What— where am I?” You started to panic and struggled to stand on your feet, barely keeping your balance. “Who the fuck are you?”

“Oh, I don’t remember my princess having a potty mouth.” Tobi took a step towards you but you stepped back. The deep voice still there.

“You better start answering my questions you sick fuck! What are you planning to do with me, huh?! Isn’t it enough that you took Sasuke from us?”

“Sasuke is merely a pawn. Well, let’s not talk about him. Let’s talk about us, princess.” He took a good look at you, scanning you from head to toe.

“Stop calling me princess. You make me sick!” You quickly grabbed a Kunai from your utility pouch but the man was quicker than you expected. The next thing you knew he was behind you again. He took hold of your left arm and twisted it, you groaned in pain. He grabbed you from behind restraining your movements.

You can feel him sniffing your hair, “Damn, you still smell so good. So... intoxicating.” He whispered in your ear. “No wonder you have Kakashi wrapped around your finger..” You felt goosebumps spread over your skin.

What does he mean? Who is this guy?

“I made him promise to protect you. Not to fuck you. Oh well, who could resist you, princess?” You froze. His words struck you so harshly that you forgot the pain in your left arm.

“Protect me?” You whispered in confusion.

“Allow me to refresh your memories…” His voice changed again. “Princess..”  It sounded familiar. It sounded like —

Everything around you distorted again. He brought you to a strange place. It was a very old bedroom. But what caught your attention was the picture frame on the bedside table. It was dusty but you recognized it instantly. It was a photo from long ago. Your sensei, young Kakashi on the right, you in the middle and —

He slowly loosened his grip on your arms. You didn’t realize it but warm tears were slowly running down your cheeks. He moved closer to you, lifting your chin to face him. And for the first time, through the hole in his mask, you saw his right eye. Sharingan. You could hear your heartbeat...

He held his mask and took it off. No. It can’t be. "This will refresh your memories…" His hands were on both sides of your hips. And his lips were on yours. At first, he was slow. Passionate even. It felt surreal. He brushed his lips gently against yours. His hands were roaming around your body. 

No. This is wrong. 

You tried to pull away from him, breaking the kiss.

"What? You didn't miss me?"

"How come you're alive?!"

"Doesn't matter y/n. I came back for you. I came to get you back from that scum." Anger filled Obito's eyes. "You're mine. And I don't intend to share you with Kakashi." He saw the guilt in your face. "You think I didn't know?" he laughed maniacally. "So what? Do you think of me when he's touching you? Did you wish it was me kissing you last night?” A demented laugh left his lips. “Oh I bet you did, princess. I will never let that scum touch you again. I'm gonna show you who you belong to, y/n. And then I’ll make you an Uchiha."

You couldn't believe your eyes. 

"No. This can't be happening. This is not real!" 

"That's your guilt talking. I'm here. I'm real." He leaned in again, locking eyes with yours. "You and me princess, we'll make a world of our own." 

Obito tried to kiss you, you attempted to push him, but he was stronger. "Fuck off!!!" You yelled at him.

"Ok that's it! I'm done playing nice with you y/n." He pushed you back against the wall. You were trapped between Obito and the cold, hard surface. His face was so close to yours. His hand ran across your throat holding you in place. 

"I didn't plan my reunion with you to be like this y/n. I have different plans for us. You may not know this, but I was always watching you. I had to make sure you were always safe. I witnessed all the nights you cried. I saw how much you wished that everything hadn’t happened. But I guess last night was a different story. It's clear that Kakashi is nothing to you but a one night stand. Sorry if you have to settle for scum like Kakashi to satisfy you. But I'm here now. Let me take care of you." You tried compressing your legs together, hoping it would relieve the aching feeling coming from your core. How could this man cause you to feel this way?

He roughly ripped your vest, “You won’t be needing this, princess.” Once again his lips crashed into yours. It was needy and desperate, his tongue was roughly seeking for an opening. You know this was wrong but your body was moving on its own. You kissed him back like a hungry animal. Your hands pulled his face closer kissing him hard and he took this as a sign that you had given in to him. That you had finally accepted him. Maybe he was right all along. You needed him. You’d been waiting for this moment for what seemed like your whole life.

You broke the kiss and quickly undressed your shirt. You were hot and sweaty, your chest rose up and came down hard due to your panting. His lips met yours again and slowly traveled down your jaw. You tilted your head to the side, giving him more access to your exposed neck. And as a moan escaped your swollen lips he unclasped your bra and took it off. His hands reached to cup your ass lifting you from the ground. He walked you toward the bed and laid you down. As he pulled off your pants, you felt a little embarrassed. 

Your face turned red as you tried to cover your breasts with your hands feeling too exposed. 

"You don't have to hide, princess, your body is perfect." He curled his finger underneath your panties and slipped them down your thighs, lifting each of your ankles to help you get out of them before tossing them away.

Obito settled himself between your parted legs, sliding one finger into your soaking cunt. "You're cuter when you're all hot and bothered, princess." He then added another finger inside you making your moans grow louder. 

"Damn it, Obito!" You gasped as his fingers went knuckle deep, scissoring and thrusting all at once. He hovered himself on top of you. You reached for him desperately, pulling him closer. He kissed you once more stifling your gasp as his fingers grazed a sensitive spot inside you. 

"Obito please," you groaned, you couldn't take it anymore.

"What is it, princess?" He asked as he set his eyes on you. "I need your words, y/n"

"I need you. Please. I need you inside me." He smirked as he pulled out his fingers and licked them clean. 

"I never knew you tasted so sweet, princess." He started to undo his pants letting his cock spring free. "I have to claim what's mine." He spat on his hand lubricating the swollen tip of his cock. 

With one swift thrust, he buried himself inside you making you groan in pain as he stretched you giving you no time to adjust. 

"Ah fuck, Obito!" You screamed his name, tugging on the bedsheet. 

"Holy fuck, princess. You're so tight." You arched your back meeting his thrusts deeper. You felt so full, you squeezed him as your walls tightened over and over. "You feel so good y/n. So good for me." 

His pace was fast, thrust after thrust sent you toward your climax. "Obito, I -- I‘m gonna cum!"

"You're mine y/n! You're mine!" He moaned into your mouth as you wrapped your legs around his waist pulling him further, fucking you harder.

"Come on y/n. Come now. Fucking come on my dick now!" 

"O-Obito!!" You whimpered and your legs started to become jelly, your walls quivering. 

Obito panted, his voice shaking, "That's it princess. Scream my name!" His hands grabbing your hips as he rewarded you with harsher thrusts. "I will fuck an Uchiha in you!" You felt hot spurts of his seeds coat your walls. 

He pulled out his semi-hard cock, your pussy dripping with his cum. He kissed your forehead as he collapsed beside you. You both fought to catch your breath. 

"Don't sleep yet, y/n." He gasped. "We're not even close. You’re not leaving this bed until I  make sure you carry an Uchiha. Not that Hatake scum."

Naruto Content Taglist 💕 @chidori-mint​ @praisingkuroosbedhead​ @korianrdr​​ @ari-hatake15​

[1-800-channie]

Guardian Angel (Final)

PAIRING | Angel Chan & Female Reader

GENRE | Cute / Angst / Very Suggestive

WARNING: This part contains heavy make out sessions 

TYPE | Long Fiction

WC | 5000+ Words

SUMMARY | “After suffering more than you could handle, God sends you a heaven made gift. He sent you a Guardian Angel. His name is Christopher Bang Chan and he is the most handsome creature you have ever laid your eyes on. Will you be able to live with him everyday without any kind of second thoughts? Will Chris be able to take care of you without falling for you? Something tells me that it won’t be. But if, the both of you fall in temptation, there is a punishment that will hurt more than death.”

[Part 1] [Part 2]

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( 40 Days Left)

It was predicted to be one of the hottest days in summer, the sun would be very high and the temperature would rise all to the top. That’s why you choose the beach as the location for your date.

Chan’s eyes had a special spark that day, they were shining as he gazed out of the window. The both of you were on the train on your way to the beach. He was sitting across you, a wide smile that could save the world placed on his lips. His adorable dimples were popping out in the most adorable way. His blonde hair was curly and healthy. His locks were longer, which caused him to push his fingers through his hair to get it out of his face.

“Y/N, you're staring…” Chris said, smiling.

“I was admiring you… You look so handsome today.” You complimented the Angel, and he hid his face behind his hands cutely.

“Stop, you're making me shy!” He complained adorably, giggling at you happily. Truth being said, Chan has never felt so happy and in love before. You made him feel soft and mushy and he loved it. He loved everything about you.

When you reached the destination, both of you went looking for a place to stay. The beach was crowded, everyone enjoying the sunny day to rest and relax their minds. There were people sunbathing, eating and playing on the salty water. Chan was inspecting everything like he has never been there before, and you found it lovely.

Under the sun umbrella, Chan had his large hands on your back, applying the sun cream as best as he could. When he was finished you felt his hand tapping on your shoulder two times. You turned around and started to apply some of the cream on him too.

"We gotta be safe, my Love." You joked, talking about the sun cream, but biting his earlobe just to get a reaction out of him.

"I don't know if I can be safe if you keep teasing me like that!" Chan remarked annoyed.

The only thing you did was kiss his lips and run towards the water, keen to refresh your heated body. You loved the feeling of the sand between your toes and the smell of the wild ocean.

As soon as your toes came in contact with the freezing water, you took several steps back and cursed under your breath. Chris was right behind you, and when he noticed that you took some steps back, he was confused.

"Baby, won't you get in? Is there something wrong?" His smooth voice interrogated you, worried.

"Oh... It's just... The water is really cold..." You giggled shyly, as the sun started to burn your back.

"Oh really? Then this is my revenge from teasing me then..." Before you could process what he was talking about he picked you up, bridal style and made his way into the immense ocean.

As you were about to complain, he threw you into the water which resulted in your body going completely underwater. The cold liquid made you shiver, but soon enough your body felt much better about the heat.

You immersed yourself from the water looking incredible and surprised your annoying date. Your hair was dripping wet and pushed back, the water drops falling from your body was just a perfect sight to admire.

"See? You can try to tear me down, but I will come back stronger and prettier." You said lifting your chin in a superior way as you pouted. Chan made a disgusted face.

"That was cringe. Don't say it ever again." Chan warned you as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into a salty kiss.

The kiss was gentle and engaging. His lips acted slowly, his tongue was gentle against yours, making you want to whine. Your lips parted, so you guys could get your breath back, and Chan bit your bottom lip to tease you.

"Chan, stop..." You whine timid, an adorable grin on your lips.

"I stopped... See?" He nudged himself from you, moving the water around him. As you were about to praise him, he pushed you inside the salty ocean once again.

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(30 Days Left)

Chan and you became sort of a couple, but with no labels. This was the kind of life you wish you had forever: the angel would wake up by your side every morning, kiss your forehead and prepare you breakfast. Every time you came back home after a long day, he would be waiting for you, so he could hold you and kiss you with his talented lips.

Even though it was a sunny Sunday, you and your angel decided to stay home and maratone on the Twilight movies. Chan had his head in your lap, as your fingers were lost on his soft blonde locks. His eyes were completely glued to the screen.

Knowing exactly what scene was next, your heart started to beat faster, not ready for the questions Chan would do. He always questions everything. As soon as Bella and Edward started a full makeout session you felt Chan shift in your lap. Suddenly he stood up straight in front of you, blocking the view of the movie.

“Does being kissed on the neck feel that good?” He asked, eyes analysing your face carefully looking for signs.. You felt your cheeks paint in a warm red from the risky question.

“Yes, Chan… It does. Now please, stop blocking my view. I want to watch the movie.” You said, avoiding his eyes. Chan pressed his lips together and took a couple of steps closer to you, not convinced by your answer. His next action made your whole body scream in embarrassment. Chan sat on the sofa next to you and gripped your hand while he said: “Sit on my lap, please.”

You stared at him with widening eyes: “What- What are you talking…about?” Chan looked at you with an annoyed face. Tired from your shyness he wrapped his arms around your waist, lifted you from the sofa and settled you in his strong thighs.

“Make me feel good…” Chan demanded somehow innocently, not knowing what road he was choosing.

You chewed the inside of your cheek and closed your eyes while a long sigh left your lips. Your hands gently settled on his strong chest while you leaned forward, ready to have a taste of him. Chan wasn't expecting your warm lips to have such an impact on him… but he loved it.

Seductively, you started planting little kisses all over his neck, starting softly so you don't scare him. After a few kisses, Chan seemed relaxed in your hands, so you took the action further. You licked the side of his neck, tracing the sexy big vein. That seemed to excite him because his hands moved to rest on your waist heavily.

“Y/N…” He moaned, but you were too busy to give him an answer. His skin was soft and it was driving you crazy. You wanted to mark him up, so your teeth bite his skin gently but enough to mark him. After the bite, your tongue traced the fresh mark. Loving the way his skin smelled, your nose brushed all over his neck.

After a few kisses and bites, Chris’s neck and collarbones were beautifully marked by you. Finally, you let your eyes open and stared at the angel. Eyes closed, lips parted and red cheeks. Feeling your eyes on him, Chan also revealed his orbs and stared at your eyes for what felt like an eternity and then kissed you.

He wasn't gentle like he used to, he was hungry. His big, veiny hands pulled your waist closer so you're sitting on him fully, and not on his things. His hands were resting under your ass, feeling you.

Air was caught in your lungs and you moaned against his lips, loving his bold moves. Chris gave you only a few seconds to get back your breath before he was after them again. You sucked on his bottom lip, and Chan took the lead of the kiss again as his tongue entered your mouth, looking for yours. Slowly and almost like they had their own life, your hips started to move against his.

That seemed to catch Chan by surprise and he pulled away from the kiss. Lips red and wet, eyes sparkling and uneven breathing. Again, he stared at you like you are a heaven made creature. He stared at you like he was trying to make a mental map of you. Overwhelmed he told you to stop everything.

Worried that you took a step further than you should, you stood on your feet and avoided Chan’s eyes as you hugged yourself feeling guilty.

“I'm sorry if that was too much…” You apologized, teary eyes and hurt voice. Too scared to face him.

Chan remained silent for a few seconds, trying to calm down his racing heart. Then he also stood up and involved you in his strong arms.

“It's okay. You did nothing wrong.” He whispered in your ear, trying to comfort you. His hand found your jaw, and he lifted your small face, so he could look at you. “Let's finish the movie?” He asked with a caring smile. You nodded and sat next to him.

.

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( 20 Days Left)

You never thought Chan was the jealous type, but apparently, he was. Everything was going perfectly fine until you mentioned that Changbin came to visit you at work earlier that day and gave you a warm hug. You never intended that he was touchy with you, nor that you like him in any way but that is not what Chris understood.

“Well, if you like him that much, you should be with him,” Chan mumbled while he washed the dishes, avoiding you.

“I don't like him that way, Chris.” You assured him. Wanting to help, you walked closer to the sink but Chan made eye contact with you and pushed you away.

“Why are you acting this way? I told you I don't like him. I told you I don't want him!” You explained again, your voice louder. The situation was pissing you off.

“That is not what you hinted with- he gave me such a warm hug-” Chan copied you, voice louder just like yours. He was mocking you now. Great.

“I don't wanna argue with you. You are not my boyfriend, wait, you are no one to tell me who I should be close with!” You yelled at him, and then, when he stayed silent, you knew you went too far.

You thought taking a shower would help so you let your body stay under the warm water, hoping it would wash away all that angriness inside of you.

“Am i not important to you?” Chan asked, standing by the bedroom door when he noticed you finished showering. His eyes fixed on you while you brushed your hair. Usually, he was the one to brush it.

“Of course you are important to me. I never said the opposite thing.” You responded coldly. Your sighs were avoiding his because you know you would start crying otherwise.

“Im sorry, Y/N… I never meant to hurt you.” Chan apologized in a low voice, while he sat on the mattress of your bed. “I’m just scared you find someone better than me…”

When you heard those words, you left the hairbrush on the bathroom and ran to Chan and hugged him. That reaction caught him off guard, but soon, he wrapped his arms around your waist, and brought you to his lap.

You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his chest. With your head hidden in his strong thorax, you confessed shyly: “There is no one better than you, Chris.” With that, he smiled and hugged you tighter. Knowing that you may feel the same as him.

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( 10 Days Left)

A few days later you decided to go grocery shopping with Chan. Unlucky as you are, when you were leaving the store it started raining. You ran from the water with Chan by your side, holding your hand. Arrived at your place shortly after.

Chris was laughing like a little child that just got a present. He loved the way his blood rushed to his veins from the adrenaline. He missed this.

“I loved it!" He giggled, while drops of water rolled down his face dropping from his hair.

“You loved to run in the rain?” You asked, and Chris nodded his head cutely. “We should shower, or we’re going to get a cold!” A shiver ran quickly on your body from the cold clothes.

Chan’s eyes sparkled with excitement. “Can we bath together?” He proposed with a smirk on his lips. Truth is that he has been acting riskier than he used to. His touch lingers longer than usual in your skin. His kisses feel more powerful and hungry, unlike the first ones, soft and sweet.

“Are you sure it won't be too much?” You asked worried. The memories of what happened last time clouded your mind.

Chris walked towards you and cupped your face with his freezing hands. “Of course not. You know I trust with all my heart…” You felt your cheeks burn by the affirmation, but you smiled while your cheeks were squished by his long fingers.

Excitement filled your veins as you stared into each other's eyes. Chan's hands were suddenly warm as they started to unbutton your shirt after you gave him permission. Button by button, the tension started to grow between your bodies. Inside the small bathroom yours and Chan's heavy breaths were the only noise, but outside it was still pouring.

When your damp shirt was fully unbuttoned, Chris reached for its sides and slid it off of your arms slowly, leaving you only on a bra in front of him. You couldn’t handle yourself and kissed him, devoured his soft lips like they were cotton candy. As your lips distracted him for a few seconds, your hands reached his sweatshirt and you pushed it up, hinting that you needed it off.

Chris left your lips for a brief moment just to take it off, and then his lips were on you again, but this time, they were busy loving your neck. He kissed, bit and left bruises all over your tender skin, loving the way you tasted.

He reached for your jeans and unbuttoned them after you gave him a small nod and a shy grin. He should probably feel nervous, or embarrassed, but Chris was calm and enjoying every single second. He loved you, so he wasn't uncertain or scared, he was safe.

As you stood only in your underwear in front of the angelic creature, you felt yourself get shy all over again. Your body was heated and aching, aching for his touch.

“Take those off…” You murmured, pointing at his jeans. Chan smirked, somehow finding cute your nervousness.

While maintaining heavy eye contact with you, Chan’s skilled fingers unbuttoned his jeans, and pulled them down, seductively. Your eyes were very curious,so you left your orbs admire his muscular body.

Wide shoulders, tan skin that glowed under the dimed light, perfect abs and strong thighs. This man was truly a work of art. You wanted to worship him, feel him, touch him, devour him.

Impatient, you reach for your bra and undo it. You sighed when the tight feeling faded away and tossed it on the floor. Without making eye contact, your shaky hands also pulled your thong off.

You were fully naked in front of Chan, and he wasn't holding back his curiosity just like you. His eyes were admiring all your shapes, curves but especially your perky nipples, that always seemed to excite him in a special way.

“You are so sexy…” Chan whispered, taking your hand on his as his eyes focused on your sighs. “My turn.”

Instantly your heart started to jump rapidly. You will see Chris fully naked for the first time… You closed your eyes nervous, and he laughed.

“It's okay, love.” He assured you. His hands gently cupped your face and he forced you to stare into his eyes. “Are you sure this is alright? For me, it's all good.”

“Yes, I want this. I want you.” You said certainly. There was no more shyness, no more uncertainty. You pecked his lips and turned the water so it would start filling the bathtub.

The water started to pour, hot like you were feeling. A thick fog started to settle all over the tiny bathroom. Soon you got in the tub and let the water warm your whole body. Your hands pushed your hair back and you took a quick glance at the Angel:

“Aren’t you coming?” You asked sarcastically, knowing really well that he was starving for you.

He didn't answer, he just got in the water and sat down in front of you. You approached him and attacked his lips in a sensual kiss. Your lost hands found its way to Chris’s scalp, and you started to pull his hair just enough for him to feel you.

The position you were in was uncomfortable, so Chan invited you to sit on his lap. You bitted your lip as you sat on him, even though you wanted him, you were still nervous.

“You alright?” The Angel asked, his hand reached for your cheek and he caressed it, lovingly.

“Yes.” You responded with a smile. Your eyes were fixed on Chan’s, as you tried to look behind them. You just needed something to assure you that you are safe in taking this step forward.

“I love you,” Chan said, almost like he read your mind.

“I love you too.” You confessed, satisfied.

There was no more hesitation, you are his and he is yours. You are one. You trust him enough to love you fully.

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.

( Last Day )

Chris knew his purpose. He was supposed to be your protector, the one that stays by your side and takes care of you, he was supposed to be your guardian angel, not your lover.

He thought all that of this was stupid. He knew from the very beginning that this would be the death of him. How is he supposed to hear your laugh, see you smile, hear you sing, see you every day, and not fall in love? It was impossible.

When Chan finally built up some courage and told you that he was going back to heaven because he broke the rules, you couldn't believe him. You started crying, your whole body was shaking in fear.

He will be taken away from you, after all of this… You thought begging would help, so you begged, desperately.

"Please, please Chris don't go..." You begged in tears, even though there was nothing he could do, you still hoped to be with him.

"Baby, I can't do anything... We broke the rules..." He whispered close to your red lips as your hurtful sobs started to echo inside the bedroom.

There was nothing else he could do unless accepting his fate.

"I can't live without you... Chris, I love you..." You confessed to him with sour tears rolling down your cheeks as you locked eyes with his.

His heart started to beat incredibly faster against his rib cage. He wished he could go back in time and not accept the plan, he wished he could love you freely. You were his love, you were the girl he was waiting for all this time, and it's unfair that he was an Angel and you a human.  

"I love you too." He said certain of his words, as his lips started to peck your wet face. Chris's plump lips felt cold against your cheeks as warm tears kept on falling from your eyes.

He will be taken back to heaven, and then receive his punishment.  He couldn't fall in love, it was his most important rule... but you always gazed at him with so much passion that he couldn't help it, he loved you.

The Angel sat on the bed, his large back on the wooden headboard and pulled your weak body against him, your back upon his muscular chest. As his voice sang you your favourite song, you pecked his hand, that had his fingers intertwined with yours.

His usual warmth was gone. His body felt frozen and distant, he wasn't the same anymore, he will never be the same, not when he witnessed what love is, not when he touched you, not when he thought you could be his... But you can't.

The drops in your eyes didn't seem to stop falling and your head was starting to ache from all the crying. Your heart was broken, and the pieces were scattered all over your body and you could feel it beating irregularly inside your brain.

After the song ended, your lover stayed silent. He was able to hear your heartbeat, he was able to hear the raindrops falling from the sky, as sad as the tears escaping your eyes. At that moment, he could feel and hear everything, but it all felt empty.

As if your body knew that the end was close, all the memories with Chris passed in front of your eyes fastly like a depressing movie: the first time you saw him you were so scared and impressed with his holy body and features. He was always so pure and sweet; You remembered all the times he cooked for you, the food was always tasty and missing a bit of spice but you didn't mind; All the times he prepared a warm bath for you when he knew you needed to relax. He even washed your hair for you, those angelic hands never failed to make you feel better.

You remembered how it felt to kiss him for the first time. It was magical like your soul was dissolved with his and you guys become one. It felt so warm and sweet, it felt like it was meant to be.

You remembered the first time he made love to you, he was so scared to hurt you. The Angel kissed every inch of your frame and made you feel like you were in actual heaven. He knew all the places to touch you even though he had never touched you before, he knew you so well.

The rain that was falling from the dark sky strongly, suddenly stopped. A calm silence spoke for brief seconds before a bright colour filled your cleaned bedroom.

"The time has come... I have to go." Chris whispered in your ear as you felt his safe embrace leave you on the cold bed.

"Chris..." You cried loudly, your whole body trembling. You stood up on your bare feet and an urge to throw up suddenly hit you. "I love you so much..." You sobbed as you ran towards him, ignoring the symptoms that your weak body was giving you.

You just want to hold him one last time.

You couldn't feel his flesh because his body was vanishing at a slow pace in tiny shiny dust. At that moment, it hit you. That was real, he was going to be taken away from you, and there is nothing you could do to stop it. You wanted to cry aloud and yell for him to stay, but it wouldn't change a thing... Not when the worst sin was committed.

"You won't remember me, so it's ok. It won't you hurt anymore." He smiled melancholy, tears in his caramel-coloured eyes. "Your memories will be erased and I will be nothing..." There was a visible sadness in his happy voice and it was breaking you even more.

"I won't ever forget you..." You grabbed his veiny hand. "I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU CHRIS... YOU ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE..." You yelled in pure horror as you watched him smile for the last time, before vanishing completely.

You fell on your knees on the clean purple carpet that was on the wooden floor and yelled as loud as you could with your hands in your head and a painful hurt voice. An idea came to your mind and with shaky legs, you ran all over your apartment, looking for something to sign. You find a black permanent pen, so you write on your wrist, in big black letters, a small note that will help you remember him, tomorrow.

But right after you finished writing the last word, your head felt like it exploded and your body fell on the floor lifeless.

You woke up naturally, without your alarm, on the bed. Your body felt heavy and lonely. Your mind was calm but your heart was anxious. As if your heart knew something was missing, it started to beat stupidly fast and an urge to cry hit you like a cold shower.

You held on to your shirt right on the heart spot as you cried your eyes out. The reasons were unknown but you felt like you needed this, you felt like you needed to mourn. A black thing on your wrist caught you by surprise, and your eyes stared at it for a while, trying to comprehend it, but nothing came to your mind.

« You must remember his name, Chris, he is the love of your life. » You read in your mind, and as soon as his name was pronounced by you, you felt empty.

What is this? Who is he? Why is your body reacting to him this way? Your mind was a mess, and even if you wanted to think about it you couldn’t. Work was calling for you. So you got up from the comfortable bed and got ready for work. An empty feeling consuming your whole body from head to toe and clouding your eyes.

You locked your front door and walked over to the sidewalk. There were just a few people on this cold winter day, and they were too busy to notice you.

They were either lost on the warm coffee cup; talking to someone that was walking beside them or playing on their phones. You checked the busy road two times, your eyes scanning the cars as they passed by. Your head was still heavy from the mysterious crying, so you could barely open your eyes. You signed, before taking two fatal steps forward into the wet road.

A loud honk woke you up, and you shut your eyes completely waiting for the car to hit you. Instead, you felt something on you, pulling you back gently and saving your life.

Your eyes scanned all over the road once again, and no one was by your side. There was no one close to you… What just saved you? What pulled you back…? Your heart was beating against your chest brutally and your whole body trembling, scared.

A sudden feeling of safety filled your heart and you felt yourself calming down.

Chris smiled at you, standing right there in front of you as his hand tried to touch your cheek, but you couldn't feel him. His eyes were sparkling and he wanted to hold your body, but you wouldn't feel a thing.

His punishment was to be close to you, every single day until you die, without being able to talk to you or touch you. His punishment was to see you laugh, but not for him. His punishment was to see you fall in love, but not with him.  

It was so much worse to be there and not being able to touch, talk to you or smell you, than dying completely. But he couldn't do anything, because he committed one of the worst sins an Angel could do, even though he knew the consequences. It was his fault that he fell in love with you.

Maybe there was a way to make him come back to you, but he would have to trade his light, for darkness.

.

.

.

A/N: Hello beautiful Stars! I am back. The part 2 is here, i hope it was as good as you imagined. I had so much fun writing this and im proud of myself for finally posting it.

Again, I need to give a special thanks to @xiaojunssmile for helping me revising my work. I appreciate you a lot, you are the best. I love you ❤

Rebloggs, likes and comments are always appreciate it. Thank you.

[phoenixhalliwell]

Well Helloooo Nurse

Pairings: Will Miller  X Gender Neutral Reader ( Nurse Lark but goes by the name of Birdie) 

Word count: 1887

Author's Note: Good Evening all, welcome to the Will Miller show. Please be gentle as it’s my first time writing for him. I also have no idea how the inside of an ER works, i’m just winging this whole thing lmao  I hope whoever stumbles on this enjoys it :) 

Hope you don’t mind the tags: @lilacyennefer​ @cinewhore​ @dignityneeded

Thanks to his idiotic brother, Will ends up in the ER. Benny in an attempt to make amends, tries to be his wingman. 

Throwing yourself down into your chair, you let out a small cry at the relief at finally being off your feet. To say it's been a long week is an understatement. Your back is in agony, your stomach won't stop growling  and there's a throbbing pain behind your eyes . The ER has finally quietened down after a disastrous morning and you're counting down the minutes until it's home time.  

'Is it just me or is time moving slower?'

You glance at the clock. Another 20 minutes  and you are free for the next two days to do absolutely nothing. Closing your eyes you smile at the thought of the large glass of wine, warm bath and take out that awaits you when you get home. Your happiness is short lived though when you hear your name being called out.

'Urghhh, just leave me alone'

"Birdie, my good friend. How are you? You are looking fiiinnneee today, is that a new pair of scrubs."

Opening your eyes, you glare at your friend Letti who is currently batting her eyes at you. You scoff. You  know for a fact you look like shit. Your hair looks like a bird's nest ( no pun intended) and you're pretty sure that your scrubs have seen better days.

"What do you want?" you narrow your eyes at her.

"You know how you're my absolute best friend and you love me so much? Could you find it in that golden heart of yours to stay on just a little longer and cover the end of my shift. It's only a couple extra hours. I wouldn't normally ask but Scott has managed to ship the kids off to his mum's tonight and it's been so long since we've had adult time, if you catch my drift. Please. Help me out here Birdie I am dying" She begs.

'Pfft least you're getting the option for adult time' you think to yourself.  You watch as she clasps her hands to her chest and starts to give you the sad puppy dog eyes .You can feel your resolve start to crumble. Groaning, you throw your head back in defeat.

"Fine, but you owe me one and you better believe I will collect" you sigh. Letti fist pumps the air before grabbing your face and giving you a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I fucking love you Birdie. I will name my next child in your honour"  she promises.

"Yeah like I haven't heard that before" you snort, wiping your cheek. Letti suddenly thrusts a clipboard into your hand before rushing  you through your next patient, eager to get home to her husband. You're not really listening to her, nodding along  every so often as you try to decipher the chicken scratches on the paper in front of you.  

' Did a child fill in this form?'  

You hear snippets of what she is saying: "Hotter than sin..... If I wasn't married...  wouldn't be able to walk straight"

You are finally able to pick out the important information:  

Exam Room 3 - William Miller, 40, laceration to left arm.

'Ok I can work with that'

Calling out your goodbyes to Letti  and telling her to have a good time, you make your way to exam room 3 to get started. Drawing back the curtain, you step into the room and  call out

'Mr Miller?'

"Yes?" two voices answer at the same time.  

" They are talking about me Dumbass, I'm the one that's currently bleeding no thanks to you. Please excuse my brother, he was dropped on his head a lot as a child"  your patient apologises to you. You let out a snort at the quip.  It's not until you get a proper look at his face that  your laughter is quickly cut off.

'Oh' is all you can think before your mind goes blank. Sitting in front of you is a man you can only describe as an Adonis.  Even though his face is twisted slightly in pain, you would gladly stare at him  for the rest of eternity. Beautiful  blue eyes, soft blond hair, a well groomed beard. Your mind  takes you to some bad places when you think about that beard.

'Hotter than sin indeed...."  

A choked out laugh causes you to tear gaze away from William and over to the other man in the room who waves at you looking far too amused.

'Oh god, he knows I was checking out his brother' You cringe internally.

"Hi I'm Benny in case you were interested" the other man jokes. He is also a fairly attractive man  -you can see some similarities between the two. However, Benny has nothing on his brother. You shyly nod your head in greeting before making your way to Will's bedside.

"Ok Mr Miller, I am Nurse Lark. From what I could make out from your form, it says that you have a laceration on your left arm. Is this correct?"  you ask the older Miller.

"Yes that's right. Sorry about the scrawl, Benny didn't make it past the 3rd grade."  Will  teases.

"Fuck you dickhead" Benny hisses back.

"Boys, settle down, this is an ER  not a playground " you interject. Both men mumble their apologise and you try not to laugh. Gently picking up Will's arm, you turn his arm left to right to get an idea of  the extent of his injury. He's lucky in the fact it's not too deep. Unfortunately it cuts directly through the tattoo on his lower arm. Potentially a future scar but that was out with your control. Raising your head, you notice how close you are to each other's faces. Will stares back at you and you lose yourself for a minute.

"For fuck sake, get a room" You hear Benny mutter behind you. You cough and busy yourself getting the equipment you need to start patching Will up.

"I'm sorry but this might hurt a little"  you warn him in advance.

" Don't worry about me, I'm tough as nails " He smiles reassuring you.

You nod before getting started. So focused on your work, you didn't notice Will admiring you from where he sat. He liked the way  your eyes never wavered from your task despite Benny blabbering on in the background. How your nimble fingers made quick work of his wound. He thought the way you stuck your tongue out slightly in concentration was the cutest thing.

Benny was quick to notice his brother's heart eyes and started snickering.

" You know what Will? Maybe if you're a good boy the nice nurse will kiss it better once they are done"

You glance up in time to see Will's face turn scarlet. 

'Just when I thought he couldn't get any cuter'

"That's it, Benny get out now!" Will  growled.

Benny sighs dramatically and sulks out the room but not without muttering "just trying to help you get laid dickhead". You glance back at Will who is now staring up at the ceiling, looking as though he wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

"It's days like these I really wish my parents had got me a puppy instead of a little brother"

"Well from what I've seen of him so far, the man is basically a gold retriever in human form" you joke back. The laugh he lets out catches you off guard.

'I  could get used to that sound.'

You had to stop yourself from sighing and scolded yourself for acting like a love sick fool instead of the professional you are.

The conversation came easy for you both after that.  You started by telling him your name before the both of you shared little tidbits about each other. Will seemed like an interesting man from what information he gave. He was funny and incredibly smart.

'He's perfect'  is all you could think. However, it didn't take long after Benny got asked to leave to finish patching the rest of Will's arm up.  

"Well Mr Miller, I guess that's you done. Please make sure to keep the area as clean as possible and have someone help you change your bandages"

You feel sad at the idea of him leaving. It is evident that he feels the same by the way he stalls collecting his things. He looks like he's debating with himself before he finally turns to you looking determined.

" Would you maybe like to go to dinner with me sometime? I know we haven't met under the best circumstances but I had a really great time talking with you. I'd end up hating myself if I didn't at least ask"

Your heart races at the question and you don't hesitate to tell him yes. His face lights up and you find yourself falling a little more for Will Miller. Grabbing a pen from your top pocket, you hastily write down your phone number and hand it to Will. You both wish each other goodnight before parting ways. You find yourself grinning and bite your lip to try and contain your glee.

" Guess  I will be naming my first child Letti"

 Outside the hospital

Benny leans against the wall (pouting like a child) and waits for his brother . He still can't believe he got thrown out of the room. It feels like forever and a day before Will finally makes his appearance with a smug grin on his face.

'He looks like the cat that got the cream'

' What's with the grin man? Did they give you the good shit for the pain or something?"

Will shakes his head before showing Benny the piece of paper in his hand. A set of digits.

"William, you sly dog" Benny laughs in delight before he slaps Will's arm. He's quick to realise his mistake when his brother grunts in pain clutching his bad arm. Benny panics and makes to touch him but is stopped in his tracks.

"Don't . Fucking . Touch me.  Just get in the fucking car. " Will hisses. He marches off to the car park, swearing under his breath.

'Well that victory was short lived' Benny thinks, following his brother.

Bonus Scene - Date night

'Is it just me or is time moving slower?'

You glance at the clock for what feels like the millionth time. Another 10 minutes before Will is suppose to arrive. It's been so long since you were last on a date and you can't remember being this nervous. You look down at your outfit and run a hand over it to make sure there wasn't any creases. Will had text earlier to let you know to dress casual for your evening out but wouldn't give you any more information. The sound of the doorbell interrupts your thoughts and you let out a nervous giggle.  Trying not to seem too eager, you give yourself a beat before  opening the door. You feel yourself go weak in the knees. Will is dressed to impress - A black leather jacket over a soft grey t-shirt with a nice pair of black jeans that does wonders for him. He lets out a soft laugh at the way you are blatantly eyeing him up before doing the same to you. He lets out a low whistle.

"Well hellooo nurse"

[robotslenderman]

Eternal Hearts Liveblog, pt 1

Special thanks to @missn11​, who is probably mortified their name is associated with this travesty of a post, for letting me get my filthy little hands on this piece of embarrassing VTM history.

Okay guys, time to do the thing that’s gonna get me cancelled by fifteen-year-olds in the year 2032:

I’m gonna liveblog Eternal Hearts.

I once promised myself I would never make a rape joke, but today I break that vow because even the rape scenes are (sometimes) just that fucking ridiculous that I had to make fun of them.

This book is just.

Guys.

It’s GLORIOUS.

In the first twenty-four pages alone we have:

A guy is confronted by a locked door, so he whips his dick out. Everyone else acts like this is completely normal.

A guy meeting Final Death because a politician sat on his face. RIP in pieces Noah.

A mortal setting herself on fire, waving her arms around and running at a bunch of vampires yelling “DIE, YOU BASTARDS!”

A guy using his dick as a key ring. (Yeah, it’s the locked door guy.)

Lucita given the Hallowe’en treatment, in that she’s covered with sewage -- but sexy!

Daddy kink on top of the Washington monument.

Only some of the above makes sense in context. Some of it is as baffling in context as it is out of context.

This is the funniest shit I’ve ever read. Nobody told me about this when I went in holy shit.

Time to open this sucker up!

Liveblog under the cut!

DEAD DOVE, DO NOT EAT, THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING. IF YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT ETERNAL HEARTS IS, DO NOT READ THIS LIVEBLOG, HOLY SHIT.

You’re in for a ride, and it’s the edgiest, unsexiest ride ever.

First thing I notice: Eternal Hearts is, in fact, written by a woman. Which may mean that if she wanted to scare the shit out of her female readers, she'd know exactly how to do it.

gulp.

(^ I wrote that back when I thought I was gonna traumatise myself by reading this. OH BOY)

Next bit, the rape book is opened by the following foreword:

What follows is an essay that basically boils down to "no! :D but we wrote it anyway!”

Partway through that is this quote:

We’ll come back to that quote later. Several times, I predict.

Aaaand we open straight into a gang rape scene! Oh joy. And there’s church spires, to make it extra edgy.

Oh but then they give her the Kiss so she enjoys it! Yay!

Oh.

She's a shovelhead.

They never mentioned THIS part of the Sabbat recruitment process.

and now she's underground and buried and being raped again? Somehow. Like somebody’s got their entire goddamn fist in there. While under six feet of dirt. I know someone’s got their entire damn fist in there because the Shovelhead’s thinking about how somebody got their entire goddamn fist in there.

(Yeah this is the bit I had to make jokes about because it was that fucking ridiculous. I started this out trying to be respectful. I failed. Miserably. I just can’t fucking do it this is too -- too -- Eternal Hearts-y.)

Like the author just turned to the other people in the credits page and pitched this idea: “guys. Hear me out. What do you think is scarier than being raped or being buried alive?”

“idk what?”

“being raped after being buried alive!”

“That’s a GREAT idea!”

(”Lucy didn’t even break the rules as much as I was willing to let her” Remember that quote? Thank god for that.)

Jean - for that is our poor Shovelhead's name, RIP - seems only mildly concerned about the rape. and the fact it’s still happening.

Like yeah, serious talk, putting my respectful hat on: to be fair, everyone responds to trauma differently. You know how I respond to trauma? I make jokes about it. Like I’m the kind of person to say “what are you gonna do, STAB ME?” for the lols when a guy is pointing a knife at me.

Okay, respectful hat back off, back to edgy humour.

Anyway she’s being fisted by somebody while also six feet underground, somehow, and daydreaming about the guy she’s stalking and about how she’s in love with him, hmm, maybe he had something to do with it? She’s not entirely sure.

(ETA: So an anonymous Discord friend was reading my liveblog and said this:

and I laughed so hard my dog actually pawed at me because she was worried.

Yeah, I’m going to hell, but at least I know I’m taking you guys with me.)

Anyway she starts digging her way out, and I guess she’s still being fisted while she’s digging her way out???? IDK they didn’t say it stopped??? Like that’s gotta make digging your way out difficult.

And then cut to Lucita!

Walking past a protest outside a sex shop. There’s a bunch of Christian protestors outside because they’re bored or something. We get straight back into rapiness with a Dominate:

Damn Lucita, if jizzing your own brains isn't the hottest image you can give a guy, I don't know how what is.

Lucita decides to snack instead of raping him, but does sexually assault him by taking his dick from his pants and leaving it in his hand when he’s unconscious.

Lucita walks into a meeting at a brothel. There are “slaves”. I’m not sure if they’re sex slaves or if they’re actually ghouls, but then again, this is Eternal Hearts so probably both.

She expects Pieterzoon to be there, but he's not. When the others start talking like he's missing, she is completely unconcerned and immediately starts talking as if she knows he's missing.

They move on. Pieterzoon has paid Lucita to assassinate Marcus Vitel. Good fucking luck with that one. Everyone at the meeting is trying to stop her from doing it. Lucita’s like “tough shit he’s already paid me bitch is gonna die”.

Also the Brujah woman present is apparently this scene’s titillation or something because the author loves to remind us about how tight her clothes are and how she's "seductively cuddling" people.

no fucking kidding

I like how the VTM universe goes out of its way to avoid using the terms “son” and “daughter” to avoid the Unfortunate Implications when people inevitably start fucking their Sires

and the author’s like "nah fuck that let’s daddy kink it up.”

Oh and he does it ON TOP OF THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT!! Like gang rape in a churchyard wasn’t edgy enough I guess.

the author can't go a paragraph without reminding us that sex exists and everyone is utterly sex crazed. The bit I blacked out above? That was Lucita daydreaming about hiring a prostitute. Like that’s not erotica, erotica is arousing, this is just voyeurism.

Lucita apparently hasn't yet noticed she's in a porno.

Somebody makes a joke about the Christian protestors gang raping the prostitutes outside. It’s a Ventrue. Of course it is.

Apparently the slave (I guess the word “ghoul” isn’t sexy enough) in the above screenshot is a fucking senator. Pun not intended. She soothes the cranky Brujah by suggesting they get somebody called Torres deported? I have no idea what that has to do with Lucita assassinating Marcus Vitel, but there's almost certainly going to be fucking involved.

(ETA 23/1/21 -- I regret to inform you all that there wasn’t “fucking” involved so much as gang rape. Never mind.)

Lucita and the Brujah guy almost start stabbing each other (so much for that soothing), but somebody has just set the brothel on fire so they have to GTFO.

The mortal senator can't quite fit inside the escape tunnel because her skirt is huge and keeping it on is apparently more important than not dying of smoke inhalation. But it’s okay, she manages it.

The skirt will be important later, unfortunately.

They come to a locked door in the passage. Oh no, whatever will they do?

Will they take a key out of their pocket and unlock it?

Nah, that’s too fucking sensible.

The Brujah that tried to punch Lucita whips out his dick.

Yes.

He actually fucking does that.

Weird flex, but okay.

(ETA 21/1/21 -- I just realised... what if it’s somebody ELSE’S penis he just whipped out? Like the thing was actually just chilling out and he pulls it out the way somebody else pulls out a cucumber. It’s not attached to his body, it’s just THERE?)

Everyone is completely unfazed by this. Both by the fact he whipped his dick out, and the fact he uses it as a fucking key ring.

Like. Is this a habit of his????? APPARENTLY IT IS.

(ETA: Anonymous Discord friend says:

SDFADLFJASDLFJASDF)

They end up in a sewer.

Garinson keeps a key to a sewer on his dick key ring.

(”Lucy didn’t even break the rules as much as I was willing to let her” yeah I just remembered another place more fitting for a sewer key)

THEN!!!

PLOT TWIST!!

The senator suddenly threatens everyone with a lighter!!

After the kindred are done laughing their ass off, she covers herself in whiskey, sets herself on fire and charges them.

I'm sorry but the way it's worded - pin wheeling, cringing - just makes this the funniest shit. It gets even funnier when you remember they’re knee-deep in water. Ever tried to run in water? It’s. not exactly easy. So presumably she’s tripping and stumbling the entire time and somehow still on fire as she does so.

A kindred tries to escape by clawing his way up the wall. He falls. The senator assassinates him by flinging her skirt over his head and sitting on his face. That part of her is also on fire. The skirt and her thighs are on fire.

And I guess they’re obviously not thigh-deep in water any more ‘cause the poor fuck doesn’t survive this.

what a way to fucking go: death by fire pussy.

Everyone panics, except Lucita, who's like "fuck this", cuts off her head, puts out the corpse, then, uh. uses it as a shield against the remaining flames. as you do.

(Between that and the above screenshot, there’s graphic descriptions of what, exactly, the fire is doing to the senator, and how said senator doesn’t give a flying fuck that fire is kinda hurty because she hates vampires that fucking much.)

Lucita meets a Nosferatu who offers to guide her from the sewers. On the next page, we have an illustration of Lucita, in sewage, looking up at the Nosferatu.

You couldn’t possibly make that picture sexy, could you?

Welp the artist went “Challenge accepted!”

So I wanted to show you guys the picture but I didn’t want to get too banned from Tumblr for an Eternal Hearts liveblog, so I went to my friends for help. One of them, @intimidatethevoid​, answered the call to arms:

Well.

This is awkward.

And so she bestowed upon me this glorious, but also cursed, image:

Yeah.

Her shirt’s somehow come off. And she isn’t wearing any knickers. Hence the Filthy Frank sticker.

And that’s gonna wrap up part 1 of my Eternal Hearts liveblog!

For more, like this post in secret shame so that none of your followers have to see it. To cancel me, send angry anon messages and death threats to my inbox.

[champagne-coys]

Outnumbered by Dermott Kennedy - Ben Chilwell 🤍

On the nights you feel outnumbered. Baby, I'll be out there somewhere

You and Ben had had the typical love story meeting at a young age, falling in love and then the rest is history. You and Ben met through James Maddison or as he was more commonly know as - Madders. You and James were mutal friends as you had gone to school together and had stayed in touch. But as many know along with James came Ben - the two were inseparable so it was inevitable that you also became close to Ben. But there was something different with Ben than you had with James and although it had taken you while to act on it, no one could deny the love that you two shared. The two of you had fallen hard and fallen fast, too hard some may say. In the first few months of your relationship you were joined at the hip pretty much but as time went on the love never faded. It was what some people may refer to as soulmates, he was always there for you in times of need and you would do the same for him in the blink of an eye. Even when you weren’t together, if you ever needed him he was only ever one phone call away. He was always out there if you needed him.

I could have showed you all the scars at the start. But that was always the most difficult part.

You had always struggled with being emotionally vulnerable, finding it hard to express how you were feeling to people, often keeping it bottled up inside of you. Ben had never pushed you to open up to him wanting you to be comfortable. You had your fair share of shit happen to you and knew confining in Ben would only help but yet everytime you swallowed your pride and went to tell him the words failed you. On the other hand, Ben was quick to open up to you - he was always good with emotions catching on to how you were feeling just by your body language. Sometimes the two of you would just sit and he would tell you how he was feeling - what was on his mind. If he had a shitty day he would walk up to you give you a hug and simply tell you he had a shitty day. You were amazed that he could tell you these things so freely without worry that you would ever betray him - not that you ever would but the element of trust always fooled you. Ben had no doubt that you would ever judge him for anything he told you, and that was probably why he told you as much as he did. Unbeknownst to you, you were the first person that Ben had truely told what he was going through to as he knew you would be there to care for him was thingy got messy. And he did thre same for you even when you hadn’t told him things weren’t going how you wanted or you were feeling a bit down he would always comfort you offering a hug or to make tea for you and for that you were eternally greatful.

See, I'm in love with how your soul's a mix of chaos and art. And how you never try to keep 'em apart.

When you finally did tell him what was troubling you he was angel. He loved how even after you had told him you were still cracking jokes with him and that even in your messy lives you found time to just be children. You had told him one Friday night after he had come back from training and he had made you a wonderful meal- you were sat on the balcony looking up at the star in silence when you finally confined in him. He sat there not speaking a word just listening as you spilt your heart out to him, wiping the odd stray tear or rubbing your back in comfort and in that moment he swore he fell more in love with you. He loved how once you had finally opened up to him that it was like you had no filter - truely becoming yourself around him. He loved how you always had music on when you were cooking or how you couldn’t sleep with your hair down, how you always ran a bath for him after a match - he loved how caring you were even when it was you who needed the love.

I guess love took on a different kind of meaning for me. So when I go just know it kills me to leave.

Until he had met you Ben had never believed in ‘true love’ always believing it to be something of a fairytale. He’d had a couple of girlfriends before he met you but none of them ever had made him feel the way he felt about you. It was something so raw and strong that he almost didn’t believe it at first. The couples in the street had always made him feel sick, watching them hold hands and give each other pecks on the cheeks always made him cringe. That was until it was the two of you walking hand in hand down the street. Ben wasn’t the biggest fan of pda but he did always love to have you close always either holding your hand or have an arm around your waist. He found himself falling in love with you and at first it scared him, previously he had loved his girlfriends but not like you. They all seemed artificial and forced now looking back. Although it took him 5 months for him to tell you he loved you, he had know since the first night you had stayed at his house - around a month into the relationship. He could pinpoint the exact point when he knew he loved you. You were in the kitchen in on of his t-shirts which was massively oversized in you with nothing under it expect some lace panties. It wasn’t too long after he had said those three words that he knew he wanted to marry you. Of course he hadn’t done it right there and then but he knew that you were the only one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He loved you so much that it hurt. It hurt when you stood at the door waving him off when he had to go on international duty or when he had an away match. You would always text him while he was away - whether he was on a plane or in a hotel you always made time to talk to each other. You often FaceTimed after matches or while he was just chilling in between training session. The distance was hard but you made it work and it made the reunion even sweeter.

I'll come for you, if you just stay where you are. And I'll always hold your hand in the car.

You and Ben always had each other’s backs no matter the situation and so when you had drunkenly called him at 4 o’clock in the morning to tell him to come and pick you up from a club even though he had training in three hours - he came. You had apologised profusely the next morning day but he had just laughed it off telling you not to worry, getting you some more paracetamol for your banging headache. He told you stories of the night before telling you how you wouldn’t let him undress you when you got home because you instead you had a hot boyfriend and he would get very mad if he touched you, laughing when he told you your boyfriend was him. He also explained how you wouldn’t let go of his hand the whole car ride meaning he had to drive with one hand the whole way home - when you asked him why he didn’t just let go he said that you cried as claimed he didn’t love you everytime he let go and he didn’t want you to think that it was true.

And there'll be days when it's difficult. But I ask you to never leave behind the reciprocal.

Like any couple you had Ben had arguments, big and small. Sometimes you would fight over the most stupid thing like he had claimed that chocolate was the best milkshake flavour when you clearly knew strawberry was the best. Those arguments often ended with cuddles and tickles until the other admitted defeat. But then there were the big arguments where you would go days without speaking, too stubborn to see it from the other persons perspective. You could both be in the wrong and still not see it. These arguments were obviously harder to resolve. Sometimes having to bring James into it to kick sense into one of you to apologise to the other. Sometimes one of you realised you were in the wrong and attempted an apology just to be given the silent treatment, this often ended in the other one giving in when they truly thought the other one was sorry. Sometimes apology gifts were bought to attempt to soften the blow, other times the two of you got bored of fighting with each other. But 100% of the time they ended with you forgiving each other. In a strange way fighting only brought you closer. After the first big fight Ben had gotten you a necklace with a ‘B’ on it to signify that no matter what you loved each other. It didn’t automatically mean that you never fought again but rather it meant you both understood that sometimes people have a difference in opinions and that’s okay - you don’t have to agree with your loved one all the time. Sometimes two people have to fall apart to realise how much they needed each other. Fights only bought the two of you closer mainly due to the fact you were terrified to lose each other. Oh and the make-up sex was out of this world. ;)

Don't tell me this is all for nothing. I can only tell you one thing. On the nights you feel outnumbered. Baby, I'll be out there somewhere.

No matter what happened you knew that you would be okay because you and Ben. And Ben knew he would be okay because he had you. Love doesn’t mean you will always agree, it doesn’t mean you will always see eye to eye, or never have an argument. It means despite the bad days you still can’t see yourself without that person. And you both couldn’t see yourself without the other. No matter what happened you refused to give up on each other because even when it felt like the whole world was against you - Ben was always on your side.

A/N - I hope you like it, this song means a lot to me. And it’s my first imagine fo this style - let me know what you think. 🤍 ~ C. Taglist - @englishfairylights

[edendaphne]

“Discordant Sonata”- Ch. 15

Have some quarantine reading material!!

>>Read it here on Ao3<< >>Read it here on Wattpad<< 

CHAPTER 15: BRAVURA

Music glossary:       Bravura - (from Italian “bravery/spirit”) Style of music in which the performer plays boldly, requiring exceptional agility and technical skill in execution.

 (Mood music: “For the Love of a Princess” - James Horner )

Sunday Evening

Marinette knocked on the guest bedroom door, or rather, on Chat Noir’s bedroom door, as it had now officially become.

“Come in! It’s open,” she heard from the other side.

Marinette’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Odd, she thought. For someone who was supposed to be guarding a secret identity at all costs, one would think that Chat would always keep the door locked. First the “bathroom incident” and now this? She wondered what his aversion to locked doors was all about.

Marinette peeked her head into the room and saw him at his desk, writing in a notebook.

“Hey Kitt–uhh, Chat Noir, dinner will be ready in a minute. Would you care to join us?”

Chat’s cat ears perked up. “I’d love to! Thanks! I’ll help set the table in a sec.”

“What are you up to?” she asked, sitting at the edge of his bed.

Chat swiveled his chair around to face her. “Oh, it’s...” he grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck to ease the stiffness there. “I was doing some calculations, figuring out a monthly budget and that kind of thing. Trying to figure out how much all my bills will cost.”

“Me-owch,” Marinette cringed. “Sounds suuuuper fun.”

“Yeah, definitely,” he replied with matching sarcasm. “It’s actually been more complicated than I thought.”

“How so?” she asked.

He let out a long sigh. “Well… this is gonna sound weird, but my father as a civilian is, uh… pretty well-known. There’s a lot of people who would recognize me. Any potential employers would be getting in contact with him, asking him questions, or even give him an idea of where to find me. So I can’t apply to jobs as my normal self.” He ran his gloved hand through his hair in exasperation. “But where could I possibly get a job as ‘Chat Noir’?? ‘He’ can’t start a bank account, has no birth certificate, driver’s license, address, phone number. I’d have to get hired under the table, but I might run into some shady people. They might take advantage of the situation, and there’d be nothing I could do to contest them. Or they might try to use me to get free advertisement, and then my father would know where to find me anyway. Ugh, it’s all just a mess,” he groaned. “Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. I’m sure I’ll figure something out, so don’t worry.”

Marinette hummed, thinking. “Well, actually…” she said, tapping her chin. “Since the school year’s starting up again, a couple of our full-timers are switching to part-time to accommodate their university schedules; so the bakery will need some extra help. Obviously you wouldn’t be able to work at the front of the store, attending to customers and whatnot. But there’s still cleaning, washing, and heavy lifting that needs to be done behind the scenes. So if that sounds alright with you, we can talk to my parents about it. I’m sure they’d be happy to have you aboard.”

“Really??” Chat’s head shot up and he chirped excitedly, accidentally dropping his pen in the process. “Th-that would be great! I’ll work really hard, promise! Are you sure it would be okay?”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll say yes! My mom’s already taken quite a liking to you; she’s always talking about how polite and sweet you are.” Chat’s ears perked up and his cheeks reddened upon hearing this, which she found much too adorable. “And I’m sure my dad’s slowly coming around; I can tell, even though he’s stubborn.” She reached over and squeezed his hands. “I’ll put in a good word for you,” she said with a wink.

“You will?!” he replied with a laugh. “Best job reference ever!!” He hopped out of his chair, then bent over and wrapped her up into a tight hug. “You’re the best, Marinette. Seriously.”

She shook off her initial surprise and squeezed back, smiling wide.

“Anything for a friend.”

Dinnertime went over even better than Marinette had hoped. When the subject of a job was broached, Marinette’s mother took to the idea immediately and, citing the need for some extra muscle, eventually managed to win over her father.

Thus, they hired Chat Noir on the spot for part-time work, adding a few extra household chores in lieu of charging him rent. Marinette could hardly contain herself when she saw Chat’s face as he heard that; he looked like he’d won the lottery. And if anyone else had noticed how his eyes got misty and his voice began to quiver as he thanked them, nobody had mentioned it.

After dinner, Marinette invited Chat Noir upstairs to her bedroom, saying she needed help picking out the perfect outfit for her first day back to school. Truth be told, she really did need to choose an outfit; but it was mostly an excuse to hang out with him and serve as a distraction from his stressful circumstances.

Behind his cheerful smile and never ending stream of jokes, he always carried such a lonesome air about him. She’d never noticed it until that first night; the night they danced during the ballroom akuma attack. Or rather, she’d never allowed herself to open up to the possibility that he might be suffering. It would have made fighting him much more difficult had she known.

But as they swayed to the music that night, she could feel the melancholy in his voice, how it seemed to be yearning for more, and she couldn’t ignore it anymore.

It was shocking to her; mind-blowing, even. Not the same shock as one might get from a slap in the face, but rather like she’d woken up from a deep sleep. And yet, even then, she never could have anticipated how things would’ve unraveled from that day forward. They had come a long way, and there was still much more ahead of them.

In any case, he was sure to appreciate an evening goofing around with his new roommate, to get his mind off of both his superhero problems and his civilian worries.

“So, what do you think?” she asked as she peered into her closet. “Classy? Trendy? Girly? Vintage? Boho chic?”

Chat furrowed his brows, cocking his head in uncertainty. “I dunno… You’d look great in anything! Just close your eyes and grab something, and voila!”

She wrinkled her nose at him. “What if I grab my fuzzy, pink bathrobe?”

“You’d look great in that too! ‘Comfy chic’, the newest trend on all the cat- walks!” he grinned cheekily.

She rolled her eyes. “Oh come on, you dork, be serious! I wanna look good!”

“But you already look good!” he said, lifting his arms and motioning up and down her entire length for emphasis. “You’d even look good in a burlap sack. I mean it! You’re really cute, Marinette! Besides, it’s not like you need to impress anybody. Everyone already loves you.”

She felt her cheeks warm up at the praise he gave so freely. “I-I… th-that’s sweet of you to say. B-but I wasn’t trying to fish for compliments or anything. I just… want to look a little extra nice. Maybe even stand out a little bit, that’s all,” she added more quietly, fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

Chat paused and forward on the chaise. “Hang on,” he said, narrowing his eyes at her. “Marinette... ARE you trying to impress someone? Someone special, maybe?”

Marinette made a startled noise that would best be described as a squawk and whipped back around to face the inside of her closet. “Uhh, NOPE! Nope, nope. Not at all! What makes you say that?!”

Wow, Marinette, very convincing, she groaned inwardly.

Despite her stammering and weak attempts at protesting, Chat exclaimed with a gasp, “So there IS someone!”

He hopped off the chaise towards her, trying to get a peek at her reddened face. “So who is it?? Would I know them? Are you in the same grade, or just the same school? Do they already know you like them? How did you two meet?”

Marinette let out a long screech, rushing away from the closet towards her vanity desk and plopped down on the chair, dropping her head onto the table with a small thunk.

Chat practically glided across to where she’d sat and put his hands on her shoulders, squeezing gently. “Our little Marinette has a crush on someone~!” he crooned in a sing-song voice. “That’s so romantic! You’ll invite me to your wedding, won’t you?”

Marinette let out another long, muffled groan, which only spurred him on, becoming giddy like a small child who’d been given a pile of candy.

He’s never going to stop now that he knows, is he? she bemoaned, cursing her inept, awkward self.

Foregoing any further attempts at denial, she decided to just be honest with him. After all, Alya knew about her crush, and so did her other gal friends. She could confide in Chat too; especially since they were going to be living with each other from now on. Surely there was no harm in him knowing. It’s not like he’d go around blabbing it to anyone. She knew him better than that.

She sighed heavily, not bothering to hoist up her head, which felt like it weighed as much as a boulder at the moment. “He’s a classmate,” she replied in deadpan.

“A classmate, huh?” Chat repeated, voice full of wonder. “That’s so adorable! What else can you tell me about him? Is he cute?”

“Gorgeous,” she replied, with perhaps more emphasis than she intended. “And thoughtful and gentle and kind. A little awkward and nerdy, but friendly and optimistic to a fault. He’s practically perfect. At least, perfect in all the ways that matter to me, anyhow. I’ve known him for a few years, and I’ve been in lov– I MEAN… I’ve had a crush on him pretty much since we first met.”

Sensing her shift in tone, Chat dropped all the playfulness in his voice and asked in earnest, “W-wait… D-did you say… in love?”

Marinette let out a long, pitiful whine, grabbing the hair by the sides of her head and covering her face with it like a tent, trying to hide her eternal shame.

“I can’t believe I just said that…” she moaned wretchedly, very much wishing she could shrink to the size of a mouse right now. “Can you just cataclysm me and pretend you didn’t hear that, please?”

“Wait, so that means…” Chat interrupted, his brows scrunched. “He doesn’t know how you feel about him?”

She shook her head, or rather, kind of shuffled it back and forth on the table’s surface. “I’ve always been too afraid to say anything to him. I never wanted things to become weird between us, so I’ve always just… not taken the risk. He always just kinda… seemed to need a friend more than he needed a relationship, y’know? And I didn’t want to take that away from him. From us.”

Chat paused for a moment, pondering her words. “But what if he feels the same way?” he countered. “Wouldn’t you rather get it off your chest and find out for sure?”

Marinette hesitated, turning her head sideways. “Have you ever liked someone you were too afraid to lose?” she replied quietly.

She could hear Chat’s breath hitch, but he didn’t respond. She wondered if that was something he’d been worrying about as well. He’d never confessed to Ladybug about his own crush; but was that merely due to shyness, or from not wanting to complicate their relationship and their duties as superheroes? Would he jeopardize it?

Chat was a romantic at heart; of that she was certain, judging from his taste in media and books, from their late night conversations, and especially from what Plagg had told her a few days ago.

However, despite his playful flirtatiousness towards her as Ladybug, he’d never verbally expressed any serious interest in a romantic relationship. She could only assume he wanted to keep things as friendly and professional as possible, in order to work on strengthening their relationship as a team, instead of risking a fallout.

Or, at least, that’s what she’d started to tell herself. Everything in her brain was a terrible jumble. Especially after hearing about Chat’s family situation the night before, after the akuma attack. Ladybug had finally learned about Chat’s mother, Hawkmoth’s wife, and things were way more complicated than she could have ever imagined.

Chat Noir had introduced a variable of unpredictability in her life, and she was still trying to sort out her own growing feelings towards him. Were these merely feelings of protectiveness, or was it something else? Had she been projecting her desire for Adrien onto Chat? She didn’t think so, and yet, she’d never experienced anything like this before. How could she know for sure?

Unrequited love felt awful, but at least it was fairly straightforward. Trying to figure out her thoughts and feelings when adding another person into the jumble was frustratingly confusing.

In addition, Hawkmoth’s cruel words from the akuma attack echoed in her head despite trying to dispel them countless times. They resonated within her, trying to worm their way into her brain to plant undeserving guilt and shame. Accusations of taking advantage of Chat; of blind infatuation; of festering doubts and lack of trust.

Not to mention the elephant in the room: the giant, seemingly impenetrable wall of having to hide their identities from each other, which prevented them from being able to grow closer.

Pursuing a romantic path with him right now would not be prudent.

Especially since she was still in love with Adrien.

UGH. She was in love with Adrien. Why had she allowed herself to fall for him?!? Why did he have to be so darn wonderful, so awfully talented, so ridiculously considerate?!

The uncomfortable feeling of embarrassment slithered down her spine once again, traveling all the way from her head to her toes. How could she possibly face Chat Noir now that he knew what a coward she was?

Moments passed and neither of them had broken the ice. She supposed she should be the one to do it, since she was the one that had made things awkward in the first place.

Before she could say anything, however, she felt Chat’s hands settle on her shoulders, and he gently pulled her up into a sitting position. He gazed at her reflection in the mirror, a kind smile painted on his handsome face that she couldn’t help but feel her face flush. His emerald green eyes were so piercing, so sincere, which caused a multitude of butterflies to swarm in her chest despite her having banned them.

Bringing his arms in front of her, he draped a colorful garment across her collarbones so it would cascade all the way down to her lap. Apparently she’d been too busy internally freaking out that she hadn’t even heard him rummaging around in her closet.

“How about this top?” he asked softly. “The cut of the neck will draw attention to your jawline, especially if you wear your hair down, so the sides can frame your facial features. And if you wear this necklace here-” he said as he lifted the accessory from her vanity table, “-it will emphasize your blue eyes very nicely. For bottoms, I’d either go with some dark-wash skinny jeans paired with low heels, or a skirt with a bright pattern and some close-toed flats. Keeping it simple is best, in my opinion. Clean and sophisticated.”

Wait… what?? How did he–

Marinette hadn’t even noticed her jaw had dropped until Chat closed it gently with his index finger, her teeth coming back together with a soft clink.

“You should ask him out. This mystery person,” he added. “You never know what’ll happen. He’ll either like you back, or he won’t. But at least you’ll know, and whatever happens afterwards, it’ll mean you can move on.”

She held the shirt in place with her own hands, but never broke eye contact with him through the mirror. “Would you do the same?” she asked quietly.

Chat looked away, cheeks darkening. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed deeply. “Someday, perhaps. But… I’m not ready yet. Maybe once I become a better person. Somebody worthwhile.”

She turned around to face him, studying his expression. A weight settled uncomfortably in her gut, urging her to fix it, FIX IT!!

But fix what?! Fix it how?? She didn’t know; but she had to try regardless.

She stood up, setting the garment down on the chair, then practically stomped over to him. Chat looked a bit taken aback at how close she’d gotten, his eyes widening in confusion. She threw her arms around his torso, pulling him as close as physically possible without literally merging together. She laid her head on his chest, relishing the sound of his heart thumping in his chest.

“You dumdum. You’re already amazing. Anybody would consider themselves lucky to be loved by you.”

She felt him freeze up, unsure of what to make of this sudden and almost aggressive display of affection. But a beat later he relaxed, practically melting into her embrace and hugged back just as tightly.

He laid his own head on top of hers, a motion that still felt so comforting and so familiar; and yet she couldn’t figure it out. Whenever she would come close to making a discovery, the thought would slip away, as if by magic.

Or, come to think of it, most likely because of magic. His mannerisms and speech were so familiar, and yet she couldn’t place where she knew them from, or whom they matched up with. Chat had said that they knew each other outside of the costume, so surely that was why they felt so familiar. But the glamour of his miraculous was quite efficient in protecting his identity; therefore, despite teetering at the edge of her recognition, she still could not identify him. She supposed that was for the best, even if it was maddening.

“I wish I could believe that. I really do,” he murmured sadly, interrupting her train of thought.

She nuzzled her head into him. “Stop being so hard on yourself. Life doesn’t revolve around achievements or some arbitrary measurement of greatness. Being you is enough.”

“I... don’t really know how to stop thinking that way, to be honest,” he said with a shrug.

Marinette let go of him and took a small step back, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Well, it’s too bad you don’t have a choice, then. ‘Cause from now on, you’re officially enrolled in the Dupain-Cheng self-esteem boot camp, where you learn to be nice to yourself… or else, I’ll kick your ass!” she said, poking him lightly on the chest.

His eyes popped open for a moment, then he threw his head back and laughed. “I believe it!” he said, squeezing his arms around her once again. “I’ll do my best to meet your expectations and avoid all the ass-kicking, sensei! Bring on Du PAIN!”

She let out a snort and giggled, looking up at him from her lower height.

Her gaze softened once again, then added, “By the way... thanks for your help, and for your advice, Minou.”

Chat chuckled at the term of endearment, and Marinette’s brain froze.

How could she forget?? Again. She wasn’t Ladybug right now. Marinette didn’t have nicknames for Chat.

Before she could backpedal, Chat leaned down to kiss her forehead, then replied, “Anytime, Mari.”

She relaxed again and gave him one last squeeze, unable to contain a giant, satisfied grin.

She released him so she could return to the task of getting ready for school tomorrow. She asked, “Will it really be okay for you to go to school? Won’t it be risky, since your father will know where you are?”

Chat let out a thoughtful hum. “He’s a pretty powerful person, but even he can’t walk into the school and drag me out of there in front of everyone. I should be okay, as long as I’m always around other people.”

“Well… if you say so,” she said, crinkling her eyebrows. “You’ve got my cell phone number, so call me if anything ever pops up and I’ll be there in a jiffy, no matter where you are.”

Chat smiled at her fondly. “Thank you.”

She smiled back. “Come on. Let’s go watch a movie downstairs. It’s our last day to be certified couch potatoes and I’m not gonna pass it up.”

Chat winked. “Aye aye, Captain Spud! Lead the way!”

(Mood music: “The Chairman’s Waltz” - John Williams (Memoirs of a Geisha OST)

Monday Morning

Chat Noir landed on the roof of the school without a sound, eyes darting around the perimeter to verify that no one was present at this hour. Upon seeing that the coast was clear, he slinked towards the door that led inside the building.

He tried the doorknob. Locked, as expected. He detransformed, and without a word, Plagg phased through the door. It clicked, then Adrien slipped inside.

Heart thumping, he shifted his backpack and continued down the rooftop stairwell until he reached a hallway. It was empty, although that didn’t do much for his nerves. Getting caught on campus before the school opened would mean getting asked questions he would rather not have to answer.

Adrien wasn’t a rule-breaker. He was courteous, mild-mannered, and above all, obedient. He did things by the book. Or, at least... he did as Adrien . Chat Noir was another story altogether.

Trying to shake off his jitters, Adrien took a deep breath and tried to summon the playful part of him that enjoyed more mischievous types of activities.

There wasn’t much for him to do for the next couple of hours but to wait until people slowly trickled into the school. He decided to occupy himself by organizing his locker, so he stepped out into the common area from the dark hallway and carefully crept to the locker rooms downstairs.

As it turned out, it was a good thing he checked it before anyone was around, for the loud gasp he let out as he discovered its contents would have surely attracted the attention of the entire room.

Inside the locker was a duffel bag full of belongings– his belongings: his passport and birth certificate, his wallet, some clothes, his favorite blue scarf, a photograph of his mother; school supplies and stationary, a brand new laptop, and an indistinct burner phone.

There was no written note, no card, no name left behind. The only identifier provided was a picture of an black and red butterfly on it.

A butterfly? Surely this couldn’t be a gift from Gabriel Agreste. He’d never be this thoughtful, not in a million years.

He studied the picture, flipping it over for more clues, and found some small text on the back.

“Scarlet Peacock Butterfly”, the caption said. “A vivid red and black butterfly that ostensibly poses as another toxic species in order to deceive predators.”

Adrien gasped.

A fake.

Could it be…?

Adrien’s fingers trembled as he picked up the phone. It was an older model flip phone. He opened it.

It had a single phone number saved in its contacts.

He selected the number, fingertip hovering over the “call” button. With a shaky breath, he pressed it. And waited.

A few agonizingly long seconds passed. Then the ringing stopped; someone had picked up.

Adrien’s breath hitched and he gulped. He couldn’t help the crack in his voice as he whispered hesitantly into the phone.

“...Nathalie?”

(Mood Music: “L’Indifference” - Café Accordion Orchestra)

For once, Marinette Dupain-Cheng managed to make it to school on time, having set her alarm for an earlier time just to make sure. Tardiness always seemed to be her calling card, but she was determined to not let this happen today; not after all her preparations from the night before.

And so she walked into her first class, happy to see a room full of (mostly) friendly faces. Alya smiled at her from her desk across the room, waving her over enthusiastically. Marinette returned the smile and headed towards her.

She gave a wide berth to Lila and their teacher, who stood by the door. The new teacher listened, enraptured, about the stylish Italian girl’s most recent trip to the Malagasy islands and how she single-handedly founded a lemur rescue organization. Marinette fought the urge to roll her eyes and quietly passed them by, without challenging the validity of her claims.

Not today, she told herself. Not on the first day of school.

On her way towards her best friend, Marinette also walked past Chloe Bourgeois, her former bully. They made eye contact and gave each other a brief nod.

“Chloe,” Marinette greeted her plainly.

“Dupain-Cheng,” Chloe acknowledged in return, then turned her full attention back to her phone, vigorously texting someone with a dragon profile picture.

Marinette couldn’t quite call Chloe her friend, though they were definitely more than just acquaintances. They’d come to a sort of unspoken truce a couple of years back. They’d both done some growing up these past few years, and for that, Marinette was grateful. Especially since this arrangement made it possible for them to remain mutual friends with Adrien.

Marinette went up the steps to where her best friend sat, and they greeted each other with a hug.

“Hey, Alya! No Nino?”

“Nah, looks like we only have three classes together this year, bummer.” Alya shrugged. “But that means I get to sit next to my Mari-bean!”

Marinette noticed a markedly cheery-looking Adrien entering the classroom, only to be stopped by Lila at the door, who flipped her hair theatrically and batted her exaggeratedly long (and most likely false, hmmph!) eyelashes at him.

She decided to ignore it and turned around to fully face her wavy-haired friend. “So, how was your weekend? Did you and your aforementioned husbando do anything fun?” she asked with a knowing smile.

Alya’s cheeks darkened, but she tried to cover up her blushing by pretending to adjust her hair. “Well, we did get ahold of the new Super Pinguino III. You’ll have to play it sometime and try to beat our high score.”

Marinette giggled. “I dunno, that might be the one game where I’ll never be able to beat you.”

“Well, we’ll just have to see about that,” she gave her a wide smile in return. She exclaimed (rather loudly even by her standards), “By the way, Marinette! Your outfit looks AMAZING! Don’t you think so too, Adrien?”

Marinette’s eyes widened and she whipped around to realize Adrien was headed their way. Her face felt like she was sticking it inside a furnace, and suddenly she felt quite naked, wanting nothing more than to hide in a dark corner somewhere rather than display the outfit she’d meticulously chosen the night before. What if it was too much? What if she was overdressed? What if everyone could tell she was trying too hard? What if it was way too last-season and not avant-garde enough? Or what if it was too avant-garde and she should have dressed more conservatively?! What if–

Adrien’s eyes met hers and he gave her the brightest, broadest, most radiant smile, so stunning it should be illegal, so resplendent that it caused her brain to suddenly fizzle.

“Absolutely! You look beautiful, Marinette,” he said, his voice so earnest and sincere that Marinette felt she might combust on the spot.

Marinette wasn’t sure how long she’d been standing there, mouth agape, feeling like her feet were no longer touching the ground, when Alya nudged her with her elbow, coaxing her to reply.

And reply she did. Or at least, she tried; for only for a brief noise somewhere between a croak and a squeak managed to emerge from her throat.

“Uhh, I think Marinette means ‘Thank you,” Alya replied helpfully.

Marinette nodded enthusiastically. “Y-YES!! That’s right!! Th-thank you, Adrien!” she stammered, forcing the air out of her lungs.

Adrien beamed at her. “It’s great to see you guys again. I’m really glad we have our first class together this year. It’ll be a great way to start off the day.”

He waved goodbye to them, then walked to sit at the empty seat next to Chloe, who greeted him with a loud, happy squeal and friendly cheek kisses, then proceeded to talk rapidly about a subject way too complex for Marinette’s current brain-dead state of gleeful stupefaction.

And most definitely too dumbstruck to notice the daggers Lila was glaring at her from across the room.

(Mood Music: “Closer Than Sisters” - Abel Korzeniowski )

Marinette’s mind managed to rejoin her body sometime around halfway through their first period, and the remainder of her classes went by without a hitch. There was a lot of chatter and gossiping about Ladybug and Chat Noir, and whether they were actually working together or if it was some sort of elaborate publicity stunt. Conspiracy theories abounded, but for the most part it was merely curious conjecture. Ladybug had always worked alone, so what would this mean for the city? Would she finally defeat Hawkmoth now that she was no longer outnumbered?

Alya, of course, was utterly buzzing with excitement about these recent developments. Marinette wasn’t quite sure she’d be able to stand all her wild speculations and hypothetical questions; so it was both a shame and a relief that they only had two classes together this school year.

Despite the mental toll that hearing all these conjectures took on her, Marinette was still in high spirits by her last class of the day.

Or so she’d thought, until her absolute favorite classmate made her way over to her desk, giving her a sickly saccharine smile that would put high fructose corn syrup to shame.

“Hi, Marinette,” she lilted in a hollow sing-song voice.

Marinette brought out her phone and pretended to look busy. “Hello, Lila.”

“Did you have a nice summer?” Lila asked.

As if you care, she thought. “It was peachy,” Marinette replied curtly.

Lila pouted. “You don’t sound too happy. I don’t suppose you’ve already heard?”

Marinette sighed. Might as well play along. “Heard what, Lila?”

Lila leaned into her personal space, which made unpleasant goosebumps rise on the back of Marinette’s neck. “Well, I don't suppose you and Adrien are close enough friends that he’s told you all about his secret girlfriend, right?” she said more quietly.

Marinette’s brain screeched to a halt, but she forced herself to keep typing into her phone. “And I suppose he's told you?”

Lila giggled coyly. “Oh, well, I’m not one to blab secrets around, but the poor dear’s just not very good at hiding those hickeys. A scarf and concealer can only do so much, you know.”

Marinette felt sick to her stomach, but she refused to indulge Lila into thinking that she actually believed her.

“Go away, Lila,” she hissed through gritted teeth.

“Don’t believe me? I can prove it-” she replied, with that false cheerfulness that always carried a secret smugness to it. “-as soon as he walks through the door. He’s told me his schedule, you know… We really are very good friends, he and I.” She lifted her head to look around. “Ah, there he is.”

Adrien walked into the classroom with Kim, joking and laughing together.

Lila waved them over, and Adrien smiled as they both walked towards them.

“Adrien, I was just talking to Marinette about our plans for the school year. What does your modeling schedule look like?” she asked, as she thumbed the fabric of his scarf. “This is the year before we graduate. Is your father going to ease up on the photo shoots? I do so remember how very busy you were last year,” she lamented with another fake pout.

Adrien replied, his voice harboring a tinge of nervousness as she ran her hands up and down the length of his scarf, “Uh, actually, I won’t be- uh, modeling. This year. To… prepare for university exams and whatnot.”

“No modeling gigs, you say? That’s awfully kind of him,” she replied sweetly, as she slowly pulled back and forth on the two sides of the scarf like a seesaw. “Letting you focus on your studies and whatnot.”

Before he could reply, Lila tripped sideways with a dainty yelp, yanking the scarf along with her, and she fell towards him. Adrien caught her and she wrapped her arms around his neck securely, the scarf falling onto the ground, forgotten by all.

All except for Marinette, of course.

“Lila, are you alright?” Kim cried, and Adrien weakly echoed the question.

“Oh… clumsy me… I’m still getting used to these new shoes. I haven’t quite broken them in yet, you see,” she remarked as he helped her up. “I mostly wore combat boots over the summer while helping build schools in Bali for impoverished children, so I guess you could say I’ve gotten out of the habit of wearing heels.”

Marinette got out of her seat to retrieve the fallen blue scarf. The scarf that she had made for him almost four years ago for his birthday. Lila’s tugging had rubbed the fabric against Adrien’s neck, and the center was stained with make-up the same tone as his skin. She gulped heavily, then looked up at him.

And there they were, peppered all over his neck: various small bruises below the sides of his jawline, barely noticeable, but still visible if you looked closely.

“Umm, here,” Marinette said numbly as she handed him back the scarf. His hesitant eyes met hers, and he looked guilty, as if all his secrets had been laid bare for her to see.

“Thank you,” he said, almost too soft for her to hear.

“Why, Adrien!” Lila said, feigning secrecy but still speaking louder than she should have been, had that been the case. “I know you said you didn’t have to model anymore, but you really ought to tell your girlfriend to take it easy when you guys make out.”

Adrien sounded genuinely puzzled. “Wait… Girlfriend? What are you talking about?”

Kim’s features scrunched up in confusion. His eyes traveled towards where Lila was looking, then his face lit up with excitement. “Dude, you got a girlfriend?? That’s amazing, congrats! When were you gonna tell us??”

“Huh? I don’t have–” Adrien tried to interject.

“Oh, no! I’m so sorry Adrien,” Lila pretended to realize she’d said too much. “I didn’t know you wanted to keep it a secret. How silly of me! Surely your father would take away your extra free time if he knew you were spending it with a girl instead of studying.”

Kim pumped his arms excitedly. “Don’t worry, bro! We can totally keep a secret! Right, Marinette?”

Marinette smiled weakly, trying her best to look cooperative, and nodded.

“So, tell us about her, Adrien! Tell us about this girl you love so much,” Lila prodded.

Adrien’s cheeks turned bright red. “W-well, she’s not actually my girlfriend, b-but–”

Kim waggled his eyebrows. “But does she want to be?” he asked playfully.

Adrien laughed, voice high and skittish, “Uhh, I-I don’t know… Umm– w-we’ll see what happens. I-I want to take things slow.”

“Do you like her?”

Adrien’s head whipped around. It was Marinette who’d asked the question, her voice soft and curious.

Her eyes searched his, sincerely seeking the knowledge she both yearned and dreaded to hear. Her heart clenched painfully in her chest, knowing that his answer could change everything.

And yet, she needed to know.

Adrien’s face softened, the corners of his mouth crinkling with the ghost of a smile, and his cheeks gained a more subdued shade of pink, which contrasted with the embarrassed shade of red he’d worn earlier.

“A lot,” he replied breathily, like a wistful sigh, like he’d rather be with his loved one than anywhere else in the world.

Marinette swallowed heavily, and she forced herself to smile. “I’m happy for you,” she said as earnestly as she could manage.

After all, Adrien’s happiness was always paramount. No matter the source.

Their conversation was cut short by the sound of the bell, and the group scattered into the surrounding seats. Lila gave Marinette one last self-satisfied smile before walking away; not that Marinette even noticed. Her body felt too numb, too limp, too weary to see or care. All she could see in her mind’s eye was the way Adrien’s eyes lit up when he talked about the person he cared for. It had been brief, but it had been enough. She’d seen it. She knew now.

Adrien Agreste was in love.

(Mood Music: “No One Knows Who I Am” - (Jekyll & Hyde, the musical) Frank Wildhorn)

The last period of the day went by more sluggishly than any other she’d ever experienced in her life. Marinette’s mind replayed that conversation a seemingly infinite amount of times by the time the bell rang and it was time to go home. She lethargically packed up her belongings and left the classroom.

Before she reached the locker room, however, a hand gently tapped her on the shoulder, and she turned around.

It was Adrien. Of course. It just had to be him.

He meekly asked if he could talk to her in private. She agreed. They stepped into an emptied room, and he looked around to make sure no one else was present.

“I’m… sorry about the awkwardness from before, Mari,” he muttered uneasily.

“It’s okay, I’m just sorry you got put on the spot,” she replied, twisting her hands together, her shoulders tense with discomfort.

He seemed to squirm a bit himself as he continued, “D-did… Did you see…?” He gestured towards his scarf.

Marinette froze and her gaze dropped to the ground. She couldn’t get herself to speak, so she nodded.

Adrien took a deep breath. “W-would it be too much trouble if I asked you to not tell anyone? Things could get really difficult for me if- if people were to find out.”

Marinette’s head bobbed up and down quickly. “I-it’s okay! I won’t say anything! I-I don’t want to get you into trouble. Anytime you need help, I’ll be here.”

Before she knew it, she was being pulled into a brief hug. She willed her arms to hug him back, although she couldn’t really feel her body right now.

Adrien let go of her and put his hands on her shoulders in reassurance. “I promise everything is going to be okay. Everything is fine now. Trust me. Thank you, Marinette.”

Marinette’s mouth smiled back, and she heard her own voice say, “Anytime.”

Adrien thanked her again, and opened the door to leave. “See ya tomorrow.”

“S-see you,” she called back.

The door closed behind him, and Marinette was left alone. Everything felt like it was steeped in a thick haze. As if she was stranded in a vast fog with no discernable way to go. She felt hollow, yet heavy, which didn’t make a single bit of sense. A gaping, empty hole where her chest was, ripped away suddenly and without warning.

Is this... is this what heartbreak feels like?

Chat landed on Marinette’s balcony and knocked on the hatch five times, as they’d previously agreed. He listened for any of the code phrases or sounds that they’d gone over and practiced. There was no answer, which could only mean that she wasn’t home yet. However, since the latch was always unlocked for him now that they were roommates, he had permission to enter.

He felt pretty silly wearing a backpack as Chat Noir, so he didn’t dally in her bedroom, and instead went to drop it off in his own room.

Chat wondered what could be going through Marinette’s head after she saw his bruising. Had she figured out that Gabriel was abusive? She’d agreed to trust him, so maybe she believed he’d been able to work out his home situation. Did she think he still lived back at the mansion?

He plopped face down on the sofa. UGH, this all sucked. He didn’t want to lie to her, but he couldn’t tell her the truth, either. She was the nicest girl, and all he’d been doing lately was be dishonest with her. Not without reason, but still. He felt horrible about it.

And she’d looked so out of it at the end of school. He wondered what might have happened to her, since she’d seemed in such high spirits at the beginning of the school day. And what was that weirdness with Lila all about?

He didn’t have to wonder long, because a few moments later, his cat ears perked up as he heard footsteps that led to the front door. He sat up and turned around, excitedly awaiting her arrival.

Marinette opened the door and entered the living area. She closed the door and silently set her backpack down. He got up to greet her, but something was wrong. Her whole aura was different. Even in the dim late afternoon light, Chat could see the weariness in her expression, the sadness in her posture.

“Mari…?”

Several long strides later and he was there, in front of her, holding her by the arms.

“Mari, what happened?!” he asked more urgently. “Are you okay??”

She looked up at him, her glassy blue eyes becoming damp. Then she crashed into him, gripping him like he was the only thing keeping her from sinking into a sea of quicksand.

She cried, and he held her. He was desperate to know what had happened, but he waited, stroking her hair, running his fingers through it soothingly, not pushing her, but always willing to listen.

Finally, after a few moments, she spoke. “There’s someone else,” she whispered simply.

Then he understood.

Chat held her, and she sobbed quietly, and together they slumped to the ground. She didn’t need words of comfort, or any reassurance that she didn’t need this guy, or to be told that she was too good for him, or that there were other fish in the sea. She didn’t need to be told any of those things. All they needed at this moment was each other. And that was enough.

[thecowardwrites]

Fifty Shades of Gwaine Part Three

Part Three: The Feast

One more part uploaded! I know it doesn’t take long to transfer one piece at a time, but linking everything takes some time (and I don’t want to overwhelm peoples notifications or dashboard with a shit ton of random writing)

| Series Masterlist | Ao3 | Previous Part | Support me | 

Summary: It’s finally time for the feast, and once again Sir Gwaine is slinking his way into your thoughts.

Warnings: None

Words: 3.2k

<><><><>

In escaping Sir Gwaine and the butterflies, which happened to invade your stomach the two times you seemed to meet him, you were left wandering around the corridors and guessing at which direction to take. Usually, you were never left without a “guide” when you were commissioned for noble families. You did suspect, though, that was more for their comfort than yours. In other words, they wanted to make sure you didn’t have sticky fingers and steal something from them.

“I should’ve asked him where to go,” You mumbled to yourself after taking another wrong turn, leading you back to the entrance of your room. “I’m such an absolute imbecile.”

“That seems rather harsh,” A familiar voice piped up. You glanced over to where Merlin was leaning against your bedroom door, apparently you hadn’t noticed him standing there. Probably too distraught at having gone around in a giant circle to take notice of the serving boy waiting for you.

“Oh, thank goodness,” You breathed a sigh of relief, “Can you tell me how to get to the banquet hall, I had to have been wandering around for hours. How late am I?”

“You’ve only been walking around for the last forty-five minutes according to the guards that saw you leave,” He chuckled, “And, consequently, you’re only about ten minutes late.”

You cringed, realizing you could have just asked the guards stationed in every hallway where to go. “I gather that this won’t be a very good first impression, will it?”

Merlin pretended to think about it for a moment, tapping a finger on his chin in faux thought. “I’d say it makes you more fashionably late.” He grinned at you after making his decision on what to say.

“Well then, good sir,” You exaggerated your voice into an overdramatic, posh accent, “Would you do me the absolute honor of being my escort to such a prestigious event?”

“Of course, Madam,” Merlin attempted a deep bow but wavered, making it look more like he was stumbling. When he arose, his face was plastered with a lopsided, goofy grin, and you couldn’t help but laugh with him.

After taking a moment to compose yourselves, he juts out his elbow for you to take. Which you accepted by linking your arm through his. It wasn’t so much of a dainty hold, rather than having your arms hooked together by the elbows. It was friendlier that way, you thought, made it feel more equal.

“Who all will be there again?” You asked him as you approached a grand door that you could only assume was where the feast would be held.

“Just the king, the queen, the five knights of the round table, my mentor Gaius, and your favorite person in the world and savior. Just a hint that’s me, Merlin.”

“I’m so glad you’ve claimed that title for yourself, Merlin.” You grin, “Without that clue I would have never known who my favorite person in the world is.”

“All in a day’s work, my fair lady.” The two of you stopped in front of the ornate doors of the throne room, turned banquet hall, and waited for the guards to allow you to enter.

“Before we go in, I must ask,” You tugged on his arm slightly, “If you’re my favorite, then am I yours?”

“Well,” He sucked in a breath and cocked his head to the side, “I’m afraid that has to go to Gwaine right now, I promised him  he would be for the week.”

“Next week then?”

“No good, reserved for Leon.” The guards had started to open the doors for you now.

“Put me at the next available week and then let me know,” You chuckled before the two of you were finally entering the room you had searched an eternity for. Okay, it wasn’t really an eternity – it wasn’t even an  hour, but it was long enough to make you elated to finally be inside.

“Ah, finally Merlin has finally done something useful,” King Arthur exclaims, standing as he sees the both of you, “Welcome, again, Lady Y/N, to Camelot. We are excited to have you here.” The rest of the room following suit to stand as their king did.

“I am very excited to be here,” You announce with a grin as you approach the open seat next to the queen that King Arthur had gestured to. As delicately as you could, you took to your seat while the rest of the room took theirs as well.

“I hope your room is to your satisfaction.” King Arthur spoke as Merlin bounced over to fill his goblet.

“It is amazing, your majesty. I thank you for accommodating me so well.”

The queen, Gwen, responded while Arthur was taking a sip of the wine that was just poured. “It’s no problem. We have more than enough space.”

“Plus,” King Arthur added after, “You are forced to look at my men’s mangey faces for months on end. I feel as though I should be apologizing for asking you to do this.”

You simply laugh at his words along with the few surrounding you, as you take a chance to look over the men that were sharing the banquet with you.

The seven men (including Merlin and Gaius) that the king trusted the most were in this room. It sounded like so few people to trust fully as a ruler, but at the same time the knights made the grand room feel full. Their laughter echoing off the walls, the way they threw themselves around while telling stories and joking about. It seemed like they were more like a family than just a king and his knights.

Glancing around, you took notice of one closest to you who seemed a little less comfortable than the others. The boy was quite a bit younger than the rest of them, and you even. He had dark, wavy hair and the brightest blue eyes you’d ever seen. He wore the same chainmail and cape as the knights - he wore the uniform well. Yet, you could tell he felt slightly left out. Maybe he was the last to join their circle, maybe his age made him somehow separate from them. Maybe he was a secret agent that works for the moon, you never know.

Next to the boy, was an extremely tall man. His arms, apparently too large for the chainmail, were bare and looked like they could tear boulders in half. His hair was cropped close to his scalp, and his face looked as though it was sculpted of stone. If you hadn’t seen him here, smiling and laughing boisterously with the others, you would think him a brutal, frightening man.

You continued observing each of the men in the room. The knight with a mop of curly hair, the one who struck a striking resemblance to Gwen, the old man with locks of white hair and eyes that drooped, and, finally, your eyes fell to Gwaine. The way he threw his head back when he laughed, and how his hair seemed to blow in some imaginary wind. Funnily enough you also heard angels singing which was weird?

As if Gwaine sensed your eyes on him, he stifled his laughter and looked in your direction. He had no shocked reaction to finding your gaze already lingering on him, in fact, he seemed pleased to know that he had drawn your attention. You were sitting almost directly across the table from him, so it was an easy enough excuse to say you had zoned out and your eyes happened to rest on him. But the excuse was (already) futile, especially when you had no way to explain yourself in the loud room.

“He has been looking at you all night,” Gwen leaned over and whispered to you.

“Who?” You tore your eyes away from Gwaine to look over at the queen.

“Sir Gwaine,” She stated, “I think he’s been showing off a bit more than usual, too. Perhaps he has a little crush on our lovely painter.”

Your cheeks flamed up at her words, “Surely not. We’ve barely met.”

“But you have met?” She took a sly sip at her own wine and looked at you from the corner of her eyes. You could tell by the way her lips quirked into a small grin that she was enjoying teasing you. You, in a less dignified manner, began opening and closing your mouth like a fish choking on air.

“He saw… saw me in the town square. We just kind of introduced ourselves from there.” Your neck and ears began heating up with your words. They weren’t lies, but it wasn’t the full truth. It’s not even like you had met in a scandalous way, either. You – for whatever reason – just couldn’t seem to bring up exactly how you had met. Maybe the embarrassment of how you’d wrongfully accused him of trying to arrest a child had been more brutal than you thought, or maybe it was the way he shamelessly flirted with you and how that made you run away. Who knows?

The queen just let out a knowing hum before her focus was drawn away by King Arthur starting a conversation about something that seemed important. You drowned out their words, and once again, looked back towards Sir Gwaine’s, now empty, chair.

Puzzled, you looked up and down the long table, wondering where he might have moved but he was nowhere in sight. You grumbled to yourself, trying to balance the disappointment of his disappearance with logic. The logical side of you was telling you to stop fawning over a man you had seen maybe four times, while the part of you that was fed way too many love stories wanted to believe that he did have a crush on you. Though, as adults a crush seems like a silly thing to get excited for.

Brushing away thoughts of the dark-haired knight, you turn towards… another dark-haired knight.

“Hello,” You interrupted the boy’s thoughts, “I’m Y/N.”

“Mordred.” The boy gave you a small smile, “I’ve seen some of your work in another kingdom we had to visit a few months back.”

“Oh?” A wave of calm washed over you. You knew how to talk about work and if that’s what Mordred wanted to talk about, then you were more than pleased to oblige. “How’d you like it? Be honest.”

“I’ve never really had an eye for anything like that, but you’re pretty good.” His cheeks tinted pink a little as he spoke. Assuming it had to do with not talking to people very often, you continued on.

“Thank you, I think. I’ll take it as a compliment even if it wasn’t.” Your light laughter filled the space between you and Mordred’s tension began to melt away slightly.

The rest of your dinner was spent in between conversations with Mordred and Gwen. It was a relief to have a few people by your side that you felt at ease with, and, as Merlin eventually joined the three of you, your brain was completely void of a certain knight that had seemed to be your subject of infatuation for the day. Perhaps tomorrow you would have forgotten all about him.

<><><> 

The following morning, you awoke to the bright sun pouring in from an open window and the sounds of birds chirping happily in the trees. Had it not been for your wine-induced headache and the incessant clanging of metal that accompanied the sun and the birds, you might have had a truly peaceful lie in. However, that’s not what the gods had planned for you that day.

Rolling out of your (extravagant) bed, you place a thin robe over your nightgown and move towards the window that was somehow opened now. Even though, you were sure it was closed the night before.

Leaning against the rock window frame, you glance down at an open, green arena. It was lined with wooden dummies with armor placed haphazardly on them, and various weapons resting along the fence. Upon further observation, you also noticed a dozen or so men sparring in one section of the grassy area.

They were obviously Knights of Camelot, that much your hungover brain could put together, but why they were up so early and disturbing your sleep was something that could hardly be forgiven. But, standing by the window had let the sun melt across your cheeks, and the warmth that followed it was so welcoming, you couldn’t bring yourself to move from your position.

With a satisfied sigh, you slowly dropped into a chair by the window, lay your head in your arms on the frame, and watch the knights as they did their early morning training. Perhaps you had been too quick to mentally snap at the way they trained first thing. It provided you with entertainment while your face basked in the sun on an early summer’s day.

You had dozed in and out during your morning show. Sometimes waking up just enough to catch a glimpse at a shiny knight win his spar, and other times completely imagining an entirely different world as you once again lost consciousness.

“Y/n!” The voice was distant, and you assumed it was another dream. So, you let the voice lull you back to sleep. Afterall, it was just as warm and smooth as the sun felt dancing upon your skin. It must’ve been a dream.

You heard it again, “Y/n!” The voice just begging you to stay asleep for five more minutes. Just a few more moments before reality came crashing in.

The third time your name was called, however, is what drew you out of your slumber. Because you knew that voice. That wasn’t the sultry sound of a fantasy. That was reality.

Picking your head up from its position on the windowsill, you glanced down where the voice was coming from. There, below you, stood Sir Gwaine. He had on a white cotton shirt that clung to his shoulders and his abdomen with sweat. You could tell that his hair was curling with moisture, and he was heaving from the morning workout.

“Enjoying the show?” He shot up at you, a lazy smile transfixed on his face.

“I was,” You yelled down to him, stifling a yawn, “But it seems it’s all over now.” The rest of the knight were not to be seen, as you assumed they went back to do some knightly duties of some sort. You weren’t really sure what they did during the day whenever they weren’t training.

“How did you sleep?”

“Oh, just fine,” Your voice quipped with sarcasm, “Until these rowdy boys and their metal swords woke me up.”

“I wish I could do something to fix your burden,” He shifted from one leg to the other as he spoke, looking strangely energized for someone who should be ready to drop with exhaustion, “Alas, I am but a simple man with so little control over the king’s schedule.”

“A schedule you don’t seem to follow regularly.” You added.

“What do you mean?”

“I know for a fact you weren’t there first thing this morning when training started,” Your face held a smug smile, happy that you had caught him slacking off and giving you something to tease him about.

“And how would you know that, Lady Y/n? Were you,” He paused to purse his lips, “Were you looking for me?”

Your lazy demeanor had completely vanished. Previously, he was the one at fault. Albeit it was just because he was late to a sparring session, but he was the one under the spotlight. But, as he looked up at you with an innocent pout adorning his face, claiming that you were the one that had their hand in the cookie jar, you wished you had never crawled out of bed.

“I – I was not!” You claimed, but it was too late. “Not looking for you, specifically.”

“Oh?” Gwaine placed his hand on his heart, “Then who were you looking for?”

“I… I wanted to see if Mordred was down there. I think I’m going to sketch out his portrait first today.” You silently praised yourself for a quick (though not smooth) save, “I just happened to notice you were not among the original men I saw.”

You could tell he didn’t believe you; even from twenty feet in the air, you could see the disbelief painted across his face. Though, it didn’t matter as he dropped the subject.

“I’ll let him know you’re looking for him,” He turned around to head back into the castle, before shooting one more phrase your way. “While I like your hair like that, if I were you, I’d check to make sure an animal didn’t nest in it while you were sleeping.”

With a disgruntled squeak, you slam your window shut and rush over to the mirror to check how bad your bed head truly was. It was pretty bad, and you swore you could hear Gwaine cackling from outside.

It took the better part of an hour to detangle and plait your hair, get dressed, and head off in search of Mordred with your sketchbook. It wasn’t an extravagant book: loosely bound with twine and leather, some pages were stained a dark yellow from wear, and it was only half full. But it was a gift and you cherished it deeply.

Just as you had opened your door, you were almost hit in the face with a fist. Basically, throwing yourself back, you look at the person standing in front of your door absolutely horrified.

“I am so sorry,” Mordred gushed, “Gwaine told me you wanted to talk to me. I didn’t realize you were opening your door-“

“It’s okay,” You reassured, letting out a breathy laugh, “I wanted to know if you were free so I could get some sketching done for your portrait.”

“I’m sure I can spare an afternoon.” He grinned.

“Perfect! I just want to get a few angles of your face drawn and planned out so I can see what the best pose for your portrait would be.”

“It sounds like a good plan, where should we go?” Mordred followed you as you strolled out of your room and down the stairs that you learned lead outside.

“Anywhere that has good lighting at this hour,” You skipped down the stairs, excited to get to know more of a Camelot while also learning about Mordred. You’d hoped he would become a friend during your stay here. If anything, your conversations from last night seemed like a good starting point.

“I think I know just the place then,” Mordred gave you a small smile before throwing open a side door and leading you through the courtyard of the palace.

You followed him between a few shops in town and through a bit of shrubbery until he stopped. Using an arm to sweep a tree branch obscuring your view of the spot, Mordred let out a “Here it is.”

You could only say one thing:

“Wow.”

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