#that would just be a painful existence
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No wonder those bitches were crazy😔
I need the Tulpar crew sleeping in and being well rested 4K HD
#What about naps#like I couldn’t survive without naps#that would just be a painful existence#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#horror game#tulpar crew#pony express#mouthwashing video game#also is recommended that adults sleep for 7-9 hrs#So this is like egregious behaviour from pony express lol#mouthwashing :)
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bitter tea & oranges
sequel -> tea & dates
#inspired by the amount of time i spent just standing in jerusalem bureau#and my hc that malik would drink bitter medicinal teas to help with chronic pain#also my hc is that altair has chronic pain. so hes familiar how to deal with it#sort of a peace offering to offer orange to counteract the bitter tea#peeling oranges as an act of love ok ty#THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A WARM UP the ghost of altair possessed me to draw malik lovingly#my art#asscreed#assassin's creed 1#assassins creed 1#assassins creed#assassin's creed#altair ibn la'ahad#altaïr ibn la'ahad#malik al sayf#altmal#ac1#ac#ac 1#i will never shut up about jerusalem bureau being my safe place rn#altaïr visiting malik. he can scold me however much he wants. atleast he still sees me as someone worth talking to#maliks hatred recognising altair as his own existence vs al mualims adoration of altair like a well kept weapon
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So.
Act 5, huh?
Oh, and that.
"You can start breakdown now."
Finished the game couple of days ago and had some thoughts I needed to process a little. Like. Yes.
So anyway I actually didn't plan this and just wanted to redraw some sprites to just make sure I understand how to draw Siffrin correctly (still working on that!)
What did I learn from this? How fun it it to draw on a canvas that literally doesn't let you draw with colors without some layer cheating when necessary. Never tried it.
The beans. Sleeping beans.
Basically what happens when you want to sleep AND draw. Draw characters sleeping on your behalf.
Doesn't help, but at least it's cute.
I have no idea what was going on in my mind as I drew this. Feels like a fever dream of 'I want to sleep' at 4 am and 'Hm...' of thinking random things
Also that phone craft sign. Still too funny to imagine. I had to.
#fanart#sketch#my art#isat spoilers#isat#siffrin#siffrin isat#isat loop#in stars and time#I also tried to draw the Party too! But that one sketch is too rough yet!#And I'll probably never post it it was fun to draw them tho#Anyway I had /thoughts/ playing Act 5#Not great ones too! I would rather they stayed where I would never even know they exist#But I had to while playing so I did#So it took some time to just sit with everything also I spend a lot of time just doing achievements#One left! The annoying one.#NG+ is fun too#I'm still surprised by how much I enjoyed it#Like 'staying until 6 am playing 10 hours straight' kind of enjoyed#From 'hm I wonder what's it about' to 'yeah I cried multiple times so I think it's allowed to live in my head too'#I got sick multiple times on related and unrelated reasons while playing and planning to play that wasn't fun#Anyway it's cool have some sketches because I couldn't stop drawing last night#I love drawing characters being emotionally in pain but that requires specific mood and music to go with#And not overdoing it#Like when drawing first one 'Aishite' was on loop the whole time#It's b&w too! Red layers are added with 'paste' magic love that
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Hey, what makes a character a 'plot device but not a character'? And how do you not do that? I'm trying to do it on purpose but also I need to still make them interesting because it's on purpose, yknow?
A good skill to pick up is to learn to criticise criticism itself. A "plot device" is simply a thing that moves the plot along, it's a neutral literary analysis term! Usually, when people are angry that "a character has been used as a plot device," it doesn't mean they hate plot devices. It means they're gesturing at something deeper.
Runningwind and Bumble are equally plot devices in their deaths. They are both killed by the antagonist to escalate political tension. Runningwind is rarely "accused" of just being a plot device, and yet, we're talking about Bumble for the same thing.
So, why?
Well, Runningwind is just a background character, but in life, he was a part of the community. He was characterized as impatient but responsible. Yet, he wasn't SO important that he died with a bunch of unresolved plot threads.
He is mostly an extension of the entity of ThunderClan. His killing by Tigerstar, and the fear and paranoia that settles on the group after this, feel like a progression of the story insteas of something forced.
Bumble, on the other hand...
Is hated immediately by Gray Wing, when she's established as Turtle Tail's friend. Bumble's abuse at Tom the Wifebeater's hands invites even MORE investment. The rejection is shocking and upsetting. There's a story there about our main characters being imperfect; jealous, bigoted, and judgemental.
But, she is simply killed off. Everything they set up for this character is gone with little personalized fanfare. It's not a tragedy with a lesson about cruelty, or something anyone regrets.
It's just... plot. Gray Wing whinging that no one will like his shitty brother now that his body count is 2.
More than that, in the discussion of women in particular, "Fridging" was coined to give a name to the way women characters often don't get their stories told at all. There is a CULTURAL trend of female characters facing disproportionate violence, for the sake of advancing male plots.
Bumble has a lot going for her. Petal had a lot going for her. Turtle Tail had a lot going for her. Bright Stream had a lot going for her. When they died, they took their potential with them.
It's not always wrong to kill off a character of high potential, mind you. In Gurren Lagann, Kamina's death is sudden and shocking, leaving a massive hole in the hearts of the cast that never heals. Grappling with that loss, but also letting his memory fuel them, is a major theme of that story.
All that to say... there's no formula for avoiding it. You've gotta identify what the deeper issue is, in your specific narrative.
I can't say for certain what that will look like for your story, but here's some things I keep in mind;
When you make characters who exist to die, make sure they're people before you axe them.
Ask yourself; what about them does the cast miss?
If they just miss them because they were (pre-existing relationship), go back to the drawing board.
Fluttering Bird as an example. Who was she? Dead sister. Why do they miss her? Dead sister. No traits until after her death.
Runningwind was short-tempered and helpful. Kamina was a valuable leader who made people believe in a brighter future. Swiftpaw was fiesty and desperate to prove himself. The better characterized, the more profound the loss usually is.
If this is a female character who is dying just to serve the plot, be aware of cultural bias and tropes. How is the gender ratio looking in your cast? Is this happening disproportionately with your girls?
Note how Quiet Rain's litter had both a boy and a girl, but the girl was chosen to be "weaker" and wither away.
And how most of the time in DOTC, whenever a man had to be upset, a girl would get killed for it.
If you ever feel like the character on the chopping block is NOT a full character, ask yourself why it needs to be a character at all. You don't need to spend narrative time building out someone when a literal object of high value might suffice.
"My sister died when I swore to protect her and I can't face my family" = Old. Tired. Ive seen this.
"I lost my heirloom sword when I swore to protect it and I can't face my family." = Fascinating. Why was the sword so valuable? Will they really not take you back? How did you lose it?
When you do kill off "high value" characters, try to make sure you're not leaving too many plot threads hanging. Or at least make a point of how they will never get closure.
#Bones gives advice#These questions can be hard for me to advise on because making characters is one of the easy parts for me.#It's more the “working them into a story without overwhelming it” part#But making characters that are fun and interesting has always come naturally to me as a writer.#I just work out some fun dialogue and fill in what their wants and desires would be based on backstory#And the rest kinda fills itself out as the message and themes of my narrative forms.#In fact the thing that makes BB so easy for me to work on is having an existing “story template” in mind#I don't have to chart out the long term events in advance because I do have a full picture of what leads where#And what I want to say with each rework.#I've always been told I'm really good at killing off characters though#Especially in my RP days. I remember I singlehandedly turned a pretty standard 'escape from evil lab' plot into--#--a painful story about loyalty and suffering. I was the main villain and the escapees knew he would never give up.#Because he loved their master and believed fully in the idea of 'sacrifice for the greater good.'#Always friendly. Passionate. Would have been a dedicated leader in a slightly different setting.#They knew he would never want to actually hurt them so they had to trick him into trying to “coral” them with his fire powers on ice#He didn't know it was ice and melted through#I guess the thing I do is just... make them cool lmao. It's hard to give advice on this#''Draw the rest of the owl 4head''
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So i remember an ask mentioning your mortal enemy, Felis Atra and their cats, and i thought it'd be fun to draw what Felis Atra's version of your italian dogs would be.
I think they would be called Butter Knife and Flamengo! Butter Knife is not his real name, it's an nickname given by his peers because of how harmless he is. I choose Flamengo because that's the name of Vasco's rival football team here in Brazil, so i thought that was the perfect name :)
Cat Machete was slightly inspired by the Oriental Shorthair cat because of their long noses and thin head shape.
Cat Vasco was inspired by the Scottish Fold cat, because FLOPPY EARS. I gave Flamengo longer ears and orange fur to make him more like his look-alike.
The last doodle is a reference to this ask (https://canisalbus.tumblr.com/post/728923918314946560/me-i-am-machete-ear-fan-number-1-those-ears) and contains the tumblr ask stand-in dog, whose cat version was inspired by the American Curl cat! They have round ears that are slightly floppy outwards.
Final notes: I know cardinal clothes don't come in vibrant blue, but i was ADAMANT on switching Machete's and Vasco's clothing color patterns. I would draw the rest of Butter Knife's and Flamengo's clothes, but i suck at designing cool outfits.
Speaking of outfits, for Machete's iconic void outfit, i figured it would be fun to make it more baggy for Butter Knife, in contrast to Machete's, that looks very tight-fitted. I think it's cute, it kinda looks like a sweater. Also i can't imagine a Machete doppelganger without high heels boots, so those HAD to stay.
Oh, and just to be clear, i'm not like, claiming ownership of these guys or anything. I just thought it would be a fun exercise. Hope you like them!! I love your art and your characters.
.
#imagine if Vaschete but CATS and REVERSED -> Butter knife ;_; and Flamengo <3#this ask is from last year and I'm sorry I've allowed it sit in my inbox for so long ´m`#but I've been thinking about it intermittedly#the context was that someone said that somewhere out there existed my mortal enemy (felis atra = black/dark cat)#and they had frenzied cat ocs instead of melancholic dogs#first of all they both look so darling I'm getting radiation poisoning just from looking at them aaaaaa#and the fact you put so much thought and effort into this concept is making me go absolutely rabid#extremely strange seeing Machete with big pupils and Vasco with tiny pinpoints#Butter knife purring like a fluffy jackhammer is instant serotonin I love him#and yes if you turned Machete to a cat he'd probably be something resembling an oriental shorthair#especially one of those really exaggerated ones with giant bat ears and roman nose#and I keep visualizing Vasco as a scottish fold as well but it's kind of giving me sad bad feels personally#I can't look past their painful and debilitating health issues#the same mutation that causes the floppy ears also destroys the cartilage in their joints#it's such a shame because they're a terribly cute and charming breed#and in this case they really do have those similar rounded friendly shapes that Vasco does#if I ever draw them as cats myself I'll probably have to think of some other breed for him even though it would be such a perfect fit#also I think it's funny how you can swap everything else but Machete's heels have to stay :'> don't separate the crinkle and his boots#thank you so much! this was such a cool ask to receive I love how you designed their cat forms#gift art#dingergum#Machete#Vasco#own characters#Vaschete scenarios
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Sometimes I think about Urianger's role in and feelings on the Thancred-Ryne dynamic and I think watching it kills him a bit inside. For several reasons.
Like, to begin with there's the guilt he's been carrying with him since he ushered Minfilia to the first, how he effectively killed the person Thancred cared about the most in the world and who's "death" ended up causing Ryne's entire Situation. He looks at what's happening between them and can only think "I caused this" even though that's not really true. No one person is responsible for this outcome, it's a culmination of several circumstances and the consequences of them. Logically, Urianger knows this. But it doesn't matter, because his guilt is overpowering his logic.
And also, like. What Thancred is doing here, the way he's knowingly letting Ryne be and stay hurt because he literally cannot bring himself to tell her his feelings, is the exact same mistake Urianger made with Moenbryda. Of course, the circumstances are vastly different, and the potential consequences to Thancred telling Ryne the wrong things or her misinterperating it is far greater (being a matter of literal life or death), it's still the same sort of paralysis they are trapped in.
And he knows it. He sees it. But he can't say or do anything about it, he doesn't have the right to. He acknowledges the mistake, but he hasn't really improved upon it yet. He still doesn't voice his thoughts and feelings as he should. He's also non-confrontational by nature, he doesn't argue or try to change peoples minds, he probably doesn't think he has any place to.
So, he tries to help in what little ways he can. Because he doesn't want it to become Monebryda again, he doesn't want to know he stole not one but two people from Thancred. So he does what he can. He tells Ryne little tidbits about Thancred, things that help her understand him but are safe to share. Nothing too deep, nothing too personal. Just small things, things that are purely factual, because he can't afford to give her a false image of who Thancred is. He teacher her fun and interesting things, because Thancred isn't in the mindset to provide her with non-essential skills.
I like to think Urianger has brought it up with Thancred at least once, during one of his stays. But nothing would've come of it. Not really. Unlike Y'shtola, Urianger isn't pushy, he'll bring it up once or twice and when he sees this won't go anywhere, he gives up. He wants to help, but he knows that persistance only does do much, and he is not the person who has the resiliance needed to push and push until Thancred finally budges (because he won't budge, it won't help anything but to sour things further by adding aditional stress to an already strained dynamic).
And like. Urianger gets it. He gets it because he's been the same way- not saying what he should to someone he loves more than anything else because she was meant to figure her life out herself, and 'steering' her in any direction by telling her his feelings (regardless of if the 'steering' is intention or not) will go against that. He gets it. He gets it and it's all the more painful for it. He knows it can't just be fixed by acknowledging it or with encouragement, something needs to happen to break the stasis.
I think this is probably why he stayed behind while they went off to Nabaath Areng. This is the very last chance they have to say what they want to, and he can't afford to be the anchor anymore. This is about them, not him, he can't let their resolution be buffed by his presence, so he stays behind. Which was probably for the best. Ryne got nervous when Urianger said he's staying behind, probably not too excited about being alone with Thancred (well, not alone, but WoL doesn't count) so soon after she had ran away crying. But she needs to be nervous. For anything positive to come out of this Thancred and Ryne both can't afford to be too relaxed. As sad as it is, the stress is necessary for anything to happen. He knows it. Does he like it? Absolutely not, but nor does he like his other plots. At least no one dies this time if it goes right.
#urianger had an integral part in the thancred-ryne situation and i think its very important to remember that#like i think he served as a very important buffer that prevented the dynamic from becoming even more strained than it already was#but also like. ryne NEEDED to have at least someone she can be comfortable around without the stress of her circumstances souring it#urianger is uniquely suited to play that role. even with his guilt regarding minfilia he never showed anything but genuine kindness for her#it helps that she didnt know about his hand in the situation existing to begin with (as shes surprised when he tells her in ahm areang)#THATS ALSO IMPORTANT BTW. like this man had a DIRECT hand in making this happen (even if it isnt fully his fault. minfilia made her choice)#AND LIKE. the parallels between uri-moen and thancred-ryne. they both love these girls so so much but cant bring themselves to say anything#urianger has been through the pain before. he knows. but he hasnt improved much himself. what right does he have to scold thancred?#silent support is all he can give. pushing thancred would make him a hypocrite and risk making it worse. hes not suited for confrontation#y'shtola and uriangers approaches to helping both have their merits but it needs a balance#too much pushing and the dynamic just gets worse but too forgiving and nothing will ever change#and yes i know im just repeating myself but ITS IMPORTANT OK#GOD#urianger augurelt#thancred waters#ryne waters#final fantasy#final fantasy 14#final fantasy xiv#ff14#ffxiv#xander rambles#xander being insane about ryne#urianger actually this time but. its related to ryne so. it gets the tag
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Inside of me are two wolves.
One really loves the way the fandom moniker "Kabru of Utaya" sounds and how it gives Kabru the dignity of a full name, and how it connects him to his past.
The other knows that "[x] of [location]" is canonically the dwarven cultural naming practice and thus Kabru would never go by it in canon.
#THIS BOTHERS ME SO MUCH....#Kabru#babe. we have GOT to get you a last name.#this is such a potentially painful subject to think about especially postcanon#he's got like ... an official role in government. does he have to sign documents? be announced in court?#like “[x] of [location]” is such a common western fantasy trope and also existed in real life#so naturally we as fans just kind of fill it in ... but Kui had to decide that dwarves do that specifically#so I know that in-universe it would be off the table. like a white person taking a Japanese name or something.#especially when. again. you are a royal advisor. real political blunder territory.#I need to explore this in a fic for real#Dungeon Meshi#posting for one as usual
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ford: do you ever think about what nonexistence is like?
stan: i...try not to. i mean, how do you even imagine something that isn't even nothing?
ford: maybe it's everything
stan: ...either way, i don't like the concept. i can handle whatever cosmic horror bullshit goes on in nonexistence, but not existing also means not hearing or seeing or feeling or knowing
ford: maybe it's more peaceful not to hear or see or feel or know
stan: it wasn't. i already had thirty years of that. i'm not okay with another second, let alone an eternity
ford: ...i don't think i find it that peaceful anymore
#existential#< trigger tag#we just. we thought it was kind of a wonderful thought#'i can handle not existing. i can't handle it without you'#it's a very stancore thing we think#and we think ford would initially find the thought peaceful. and good.#so much misery and pain and chaos. wouldn't an absolute nothing be a nice change of pace?#but then stan makes a point. you're doing it without your loved ones#ford would love nothingness. but he loves being around his family even more#he's been alone so long. stan too. even in a state of nothingness there would be an intrinsic wrongness if they weren't together#in that sense...wherever we go we truly do go together#anyway. uh. tags ae guess#gravity falls#ford pines#stan pines#there ya go
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Reminding y’all that this exists 😍
#gives me physical pain every time#AND ALSO this might be leaked somewhere In the supa strikas universe like#we know that Nandi showed it to her school but idk if she posted it but it could also have been filmed by one of her classmates#while she was presenting it#IDK I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD A HUGE MEME THERE AND EVERY TIME SOMEONE REMIDES SHAKES OF ITS EXISTENCE A PIECE OF HIM DIES#this will be my favorite headcanon for now on#omg ignore the terrible grammar im too lazy to rewrite it#supa strikas#supablr#super strikas#shakessupastrikas
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(5 am thought) oh god i was about to go to sleep but thought about pac sleeping in fit's house (their house soon okay) peacefully as he started screaming in pain fit woke up and quickly came to his side to hold him asking questions but all pac could do is crying and trying to hold his missing leg he could hear 'chomp chomp' sounds and blood dripping out of his body. he could feel it again. his leg is right here! it is, isn't it?.... later he was knocked out sleeping with hiccups fit is terrified. his boyfriend kept screaming 'my leg!' 'cell stop' 'please stop' and he couldn't do anything but hold him close to his heart
#qsmp#qsmp pactw#qsmp fitmc#phantom pain is a bitch and they both know it#sometimes fit would wake up in sweat trying to hold his arm but it's missing#he doesn't scream or cry...just gripping on something that doesn't exist anymore#don't ask questions guys i was watching a true-crime video-
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Thinking about the fact that they had Maron be the saytr that brought Will to camp-
THEN WENT AND GAVE HIM A NYMPH GIRLFRIEND NAMED NAOMI?? I KNOW IT'S LIKE A ACTIVE GREEK NAME AND ALL BUT??? 😭
Idk if he keeps any contact with Will though. Cause I never thought he actually did any Protector stuff in awhile?? Maybe he was just in the area but idk hdfd
But, he just doesn't seem to be as close to any demigods as Grover and Couch Hedge. The cloven counsel in general always felt separate from over satyrs in duties.
But if he did keep in touch with Will, I'm just imagine how awkward it is to have your old protector have a gf with the same name as your mom fsgsg.
Like-common name probably and all, but it's still funny to imagine.
Poor Will XD
#maron pjo#pjo maron#maron satyr#will solace#william andrew solace#pjo will#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo hoo toa#pjo fandom#pjo#pain rambles#it's way too funny to me for some reason#idk why#also why did maron suddenly pop up in two books in a row???#like yeah he's more mentioned/ dream in tsats#but??? where that come from???#cause let's be honest most of us forgot they existed for the most part after tlo#i would like to see how Maron was as a protector personality wise#like. Will doesn't seem to have any overly neg or positive feelings when thinking about him#so maybe he just was neutral and get job over with type? idk#mosy saytrs seemed to have a close connection to the old demigods they brought to camp#Clarisse is literally couch hedges' choice for his son's god mother iirc#and he and Mellie work closely with Piper's dad#so idk#thinking about it
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Super angry at arc 3 of arcane btw. They rushed to close everything up and it shows
#the characters are so empty#like legit the only one with normal character development is jinx. like. the only one o get where she comes from is JINX.#Also Ekko. loved what they did for him there. everyone gets desolation and he gets a slice of life romance with the (doomed) childhood crush#no one is doing it like him#but also. they don’t even MENTION isha. like. I get it. she died. it’s devastating. but?#what the fuck you go onto the next thing?? WHAT THE FUCK#and I won’t even touch Viktor ‘’’I’m gonna build a place to heal people’ to ‘everyone is a hive mind machine now’ like WHAT#ngl I thought the fandom would be like Jayce I stand by my cancelled wife and all#BUT THE CANON WENT AND JUST….DEPRIVED VIKTOR OF CARE AND HUMANITY? HE IS JUST A WEAPON AND A CALAMITY NOW I GUESS??#Like yeah….he was doomed from the start with the sickness and the canon and all but? there’s doomed by the narrative and there’s like…#WE WILL PUT HOLES THROUGH YOU AND LACK OF CARE AMD COMPASSION AND UNDERSTANDING UNTIL YOU FUCKING GET YOUR DOOM#GET WITHTHE NARRATIVE VIKTOR YOUARE EVIL#‘no I am just healing people from shimmer which is very bad and harmful and painful’‘#NO VIKTOR YOU ARE EVIL SEE? THAT WHY I KILLED YOU BC YOUARE EVIL#existence became so painful to him he went and said no there’s not fixing this. I am throwing my emotions in the waste bin and go machine’#WHY DOESNT HE GETS TO BE ANGRY AND BETRAYED? LIKE AT LEATS SILCO GOT TO BE RIGTEOUS#WHY IS THIS SHIT AGAIN THEY TRY TO KILL YOU BC YOU ARE EVIL AND THEY TURN YOU INTO EVIL BC WHATS LEFT BUT THEN THEY WERE RIGHT TO DO IT??#LIKE. no. I’m sorry but no. fuck that I’m out.#FUCK THIS SHIT I AM WO ANGRY#VIKTOR?? VIKTOR IS THE BIG BAD? THE THING THAT UNIFIES ZAUN AND PILTOBER? FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.
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some shippers when solas has had important relationships from thousands of years ago and he can't just forgive himself for failing those closest to him then and go "okie dokie!" when his wife tells him he can come back home
#dragon age fandom critical#solavellan#im sorry some of you are not serious he literally says in the cutscene i wish ur forgiveness soothed my faults but unfortunately#hes been on this path for CENTURIES before lavellan was even born like yes he would like to apologize to mythal#AND HE LEFT LAVELLAN CLUES BC SHE WANTED HIM TO TRACK HIM SHE WANTED HER TO STOP HIM#unfortunately sometimes you kinda need your best friend turned master turned opp to say it's ok#like she literally came in went well lolz we both fucked up teehee i release u from indentured servitude PCE#and some of u are still mad#RELATIONSHIPS DONT EXIST IN A FUCKING VACUUMM!!!!!!#mind you mythal got betrayed by her own deranged husband who then got locked away and she was lobotomized#and then after she protected her people in this new world solas showed up and went well im bombing it#LIKE UNFORTUNATELY. SINCE HE KILLED FLEMETH HE KINDA NEEDED TO ATONE FOR THE NUMEROUS GRIEVANCES HE CAUSED IN MYTHALS LIFE TOO#also like even tho it was mythals choice to follow her husband and it was her own undoing#solas as a spirit of wisdom who knew better and warned her still thinks he failed her and not vice versa bc it was his Nature.#i also think it would be largely out of character for solas to just go okie after lavellan forgives him#he literally broke up w her bc he felt he was betraying this path of repentance he made up for himself#he wished it was as easy to just cast aside & get over it and adapt like mythal clearly has but#in his core he feels deeply. his regrets his losses his pain. he is a spirit#he is not a man. he is weighed down by emotions the mortal coil cannot comprehend#it is also why he did not want cole bound or inq drinking from the fountain#he made a choice and he failed and he carried that burned for centuries#he would not have that thrust upon someone else#and he also cannot wash away the guilt without confronting it. and he hasnt been confronting it until hes trapped#and even then his last confrontation w mythal b4 vg was when he gutted her to seize power and do what HE thought he must
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Sometimes I think of Amy Pond, who grew up being called mad by those who wielded the word as a tool of exclusion and shame —
Amy Pond, who though forced into the hands of four psychiatrists, still clung to that which they called madness until those systems which elevate psychosocial conformity above humanity stripped it from her —
Amy Pond, whose imaginary friend reappeared for a single hour after twelve years and reignited that faith before disappearing for two more years —
Amy Pond, who spent those those two years under the same implicit threat ingrained in her through psychiatric violence, and thus began to believe the man who stopped the invasion was “just a madman with a box,” only for him to agree, and to also call her “mad, impossible Amy Pond,” reframing madness as non-negative for the first time in her life —
Amy Pond, who ignored the disembodied voice of her imaginary friend even as she ran away with him for real, who still lived each day with the traumatic internalization of deviancy dictated upon her by the psychiatric-industrial complex that shaped her from childhood —
Amy Pond, who wouldn't acknowledge the Doctor's voice, such that it took an Angel in her eye that was literally killing her to ensure she couldn't reality check herself —
Amy Pond, who stood before a room which muttered about “the psychiatrists we brought her to,” and though afraid, escaped their rigid parameters of acceptable existence.
#I like seeing it as indicating she began hearing his voice when he was gone for all those years! why else wouldn't she say anything?#actually psychotic Amy agenda#Amy Pond#eleventh doctor#reclaimed language#oh look its another antipsychiatry themed doctor who post#sumn abt in Fairies At The Bottom Of The Garden audio AND Imaginary Enemies comic we see Amelia bein called slurs against psychotic people#(shes called psycho in both)#like!!! and SO MUCH OF AMYS STORY is about her claiming her agency in ways that previous companions weren't allowed to-#companions whose status as a Wife was a signifier of an to end of their value individually- 'this is no place for a married woman' etc#in some cases Wife-ness forced upon them *as* a denial of agency 'I spent all that time trying to find you I'm not going back now!' etc#whereas Amys story deconstructs that; Amys “Choice” is an illusion- Amy being a Wife doesn't demote her agency as an companion#anyways I love that aspect of reclaimed agency for Amy but ALSO#“madness” as an expression of agency against systems of oppression is SO relevant. the mind defends itself and the alternative isnt better#the oppressive system in this case being ableist structures and the psychiatric system ITSELF which is a whole other layer#the moral being that even if the Doctor WAS a delusion? he'd still be a needed coping mechanism for a child who says “ppl always leave”#and instead of examining her feelings of abandonment they insist 'aLiENs DoNt ExIsT' as seen in the 'sTaRs DoNt ExIsT' psychiatrist in TBB#they don't care that she's in PAIN- why would they?- they just care that she's 'abnormal' and therefore not deserving of humanity#(eleventh) doctor is neurodivergent tag#I mean technically this is about Amy but I once (twice) used that tag on the post about the Master. its the spirit of it!#and Amy Pond + her Raggedy Doctor as “mad” people is very *chefs kiss*#((you know what im putting the tag on my last Amy post :D ))#Mels experienced this very differently and I'll make a post about her at some point- I just wanna make sure my points are got across better#sumn abt Amelia's “crazy” was Mels' “delinquency.” Amy treated as if she doesn't know her own life while Mels treated as threatening#sumn abt adultification of Black girls while Amy is infantilized#Amy Pond who could rewrite reality in a reborn universe because she grew up with a Crack in her wall that no one believed was special —#ableism#saneism#unreality#because I mean Amy's stand against psychiatric dehumanization was to REWRITE THE UNIVERSE with her Crack powers
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I think you've mentioned before that after Machete's passing, Vasco would eventually find another partner that he'd live out the rest of his days with. Do you think he'd tell them about Machete at some point? Or would he feel it's safer/easier to keep the stories and memories to himself? If he did tell his partner I'd also understand if he chose to leave out certain details, such as Machete's job, whether it be for general safety or a sense to protect Machete's privacy and reputation even though he's gone
I think the partner Vasco lives the rest of his days with is most likely his platonic wife Ludovica, the one he was already married to at the time he reunited with Machete in their early thirties. I can see him eventually starting to try to see other men again, and he might love them too, but the whole process of trying to open up to other people (after all those years and the way things ended) would be kind of lonely, frustrating and painful for the most part. Chances are none of his subsequent relationships would last very long. He'd probably grow closer to Ludovica and she would do her best to support him. I'm not sure how much of his 10+ years with Machete he'd be able to share with anyone to be honest.
#answered#anonymous#death#cw death#Vaschete lore#it's not like he's doomed to be alone and never know love again#but Machete's untimely passing left a massive hole in him and he might not be able to fill it in any meaningful way#even if he tried and lived to an advanced age#I think the most unbearable thing would be the banality of it all#they tried so hard to make things work and keep each other safe and their whole co-existence was shadowed by secrecy#and then everything just ends and world keeps going around him#he can't share his pain with anyone or grieve properly because so few people knew of them and it has to remain that way
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Can I ask, since you mentioned agreeing 'even if under duress' - how did the Watchers convince Player Grian to join them in hunger au?
So take this with the specific grain of salt that ive never watched Evo directly (but have friends who have ((thank you wren)), so i know tidbits via osmosis from them), but my thought has always been that the riddles the Watchers gave the Evo Players were all tests used to measure cleverness and intelligence-- the whole point of them attempting to copy the mind of a Player into a Watcher larva in the first place was to try and avoid the insanely high infant mortality rate their typical juveniles go through, bc they dont understand their own limits enough to even know they have them yet. So they needed a Player they knew they could instruct and who would listen to them, and, well. Grian, for all he was rebellious and outright defiant of the Watchers, still solved their puzzles and only had to be punished once before he stopped trying to mess with them
What ive always pictured is after the dragon fight the two main elders of the Watcher colony finally revealed themselves to Grian properly-- i have this crystal clear image of the two of them hovering above and next to the central end island, looming over Grian, and like, these guys are big. HUGE. A good 5x bigger than the ender dragon itself, at LEAST. It would be hard not to feel insanely intimidated by that, honestly, especially when there are two of them side by side, blocking your entire view of the End from that direction.
Anyway picture that with the context of these two giant floating winged worms youve never seen before, who have demonstrated their powerful ability to manipulate code in a way you cant.... telling you that they have chosen you to become one of them. Thats an immense amount of pressure, both from flattery and fear, especially considering theyve punished you before for defying them. I like to think even then, Grian balked a bit, and while i dont have exact dialogue beats here, i know the Watchers continued putting that pressure on him (likely while leveraging his friendships too-- like ive always said, if Grian hadnt been chosen, BigB wouldve been, and i can absolutely see the Watchers offering to take him in Grian's stead) until he finally caved and accepted their "offer" of joining them.
Unfortunately, he didnt find out exactly what that entailed until it was far too late.
#shouting speaks#asks#hunger au#evo watchers#watcher!grian#grian#evo smp#tldr they pressured tf out of him to do it#through both flattery and also leveraging his own fear against him#he was a Player after all. they were likely bumping his mood post-dragon fight to make him more suggestible#the most painful thing abt this to me is that the Watchers still werent being deliberately malicious here like#with the way they viewed Players this was NORMAL to them#they just. didnt rlly consider them as much more than food/hosts for their young. in their eyes the Watcher that emerged was different#than the Player it had hatched from#even though it had Grian's mind memories personality and stats#every day i feel shrimp emotions abt this#the horror he went through..... and they never once thought of it as torture#they never once regarded Player!Grian as something that needed to know what was going to happen to him#bc it was normalized to them. yeah sure Watcher juveniles hatch from Player hosts thats NORMAL thats part of their life cycle!!!#the only new thing is this one would still retain the Player's mind#it was a fucked up science experiment basically and grian wasnt told ANYTHING before it actually happened to him#sobs and cries ohhh grian i fucked you up SO BAD huh#also huge shoutout to my friend wren for giving me a little context while i wrote this and confirming my ideas slotted in#rlly well with existing canon. character understander status continues to stay intact im winning#txt
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