#that would be because i reblogged a meme saying that for every symbol i got i would post a headcanon for my character

[writing-for-the-gays]

hi its me againnnn,,, ermm i would like to request poly billy x stu x (ftm, fat, hairy ect ect) reader again :3c but fluff HCs this time :3c

-🐛 anon

Ough these boys be home of sexuals in a world of homes of phobics , continuation of the other fic actually. Disk jockey reader. Again me and 🐛 anon are holding hands and frolicking through fields.

No pretty pic this time I'm reblogging this with memes I made for these fics

Fluff! Tooth rottingly sweet.

"catch my breath and hold it for me."

- you three are a power couple behind a closed door. Infront of people you have to pretend to be very straight with each other (as straight as you three can be, if you three were a line you'd be a circle.)

- to be blunt they're in love with you.

- you got custom rings for each other about a year into the relationship, to symbolize your dedication.

- and these boys take it very seriously. They keep the rings on a necklace they wear underneath their shirts when out , and wear them proudly on their fingers when around you.

- alone Stu and Billy are affectionate, Stu being more like a dog and Billy being more like a cat.

- Stu will run up to you and throw his arms around you I'm a big hug when you walk through the door of his house and Billy will wait until you're all sat down to come up and lay his head on your chest, and whisper to you Abt how much he missed you.

- in conjunction with this is their love language. Billy can be somewhat touch averse, especially after a rough day, or whenever, and has a tendency to pull away if the physical touch is too much, but he loves acts of service, and will often cook for you, and do whatever you ask of him including, but not limited to, murder.

- Stu's big on physical affection, and will hang off your arm whenever he can, hold your hand (he sometimes pretends to be measuring hand size out in public so he can have some more skin to skin contact even when it's not totally socially acceptable.), and kiss you often, but he prefers to do activities with you instead of for you, and tries to get you to do random things with him, it doesn't even matter what it is. You find yourself doing dishes with him more times than you can count.

- it can lead to some really tender moments, and you three really relish in these moments. It's one of your favorite parts of the relationship.

- Stu being trans means that when you're binding you get tons of reminders to take breaks, especially considering the fact that binding methods around this time aren't exactly safe. More often than not you find yourself in a stall with him while he massages your back and checks your ribs.

- Billy has an equal amount of worry, considering he's known Stu since forever and so is intimately familiar with trans topics, but he's less nice about it. He refuses to let you cuddle him or vice versa if you have your binder on. He also helps you take your T injections because Stu can handle a lot, but needles aren't one of them. He does T gel that's how bad it is.

- every night you all rotate who's the middle spoon (what else do I call it).

- Stu's absent parents mean that you've basically decided to move in with him. You don't have the most aware parents either. (Dead, probably.)

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

You laugh gleefully, worn down black and white shoes thud against the concrete as you run past Billy and Stu and onto the top of the playground.

"Fuck you two! I'm the god of this bitch." You shout down to them, slamming your hands on top of the plastic tube slide making a hollow thudding noise that echoes dully in the cool night air.

Billy lets out a snort while Stu lets out loud bark of a laugh. "What? You don't find me powerful enough? Fine you don't get to watch the shooting stars up here with me." You promptly stick your middle fingers up "Have fun on wood-chips!" You playfully sneer, the bright smile on your face portraying the playfulness.

"Not if I can get up there!" Stu says sprinting to the metal platforms that lead up to the playground. You let out a dramatic gasp and race to them as well, giggling the whole time.

Billy looked on with a soft smirk, he eyed the playground and tried to find another way up, spotting a rock wall he snuck around while you jokingly wrestled Stu.

Billy climbed up the rocks, quietly sneaking up onto the playground, tip toeing his way behind you and locked eyes with Stu who smirked.

Billy wrapped his arms around your middle and hauled you back, making you let out a genuine frightened yelp.

"Billy!" You scolded before giggling breathlessly "Fine you two can come up here with me." You say squirming out of Billy's arms you smile up at the starry sky.

Stu sets down a blanket, and sits down on it. You follow and sit next to him leaning your head on his shoulder. Billy lays his head in your lap.

You hum a soft tune and relax into your boys, you and Stu's rings clicking together when you join hands.

Not long after twinkling streaks of light begin to dot the sky and you sigh.

"I don't think there's anywhere else I'd rather be." Billy says softly, and you nod with an awestruck smile not losing your focus on the lights. "Same." Stu says.

You don't notice their gazes locked on you and not the sky.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

-id be fucking dumb not to mention that you all regularly fuck with the radio station when you can.

- you like your job but it's funny to let Stu or Billy just say some dumb shit on air. Nothing too scandalous so you don't get taken off sir but enough to get a solid laugh out of you.

- Stu normally tells what I can boil down to 'haha funny penis joke' and Billy's a little more sophisticated. ('haha funny penis joke but less obvious' basically)

- let me be perfectly clear, Stu and Billy couldn't give less of a shit about what you look like, but the fact you're bigger than the both of them makes them all sorts of soft.

- they call you their 'big bear' and have accidentally called you that multiple times in public (mainly Stu going 'big bear!' when he sees you, he says it's an accident but it may be just to see the panic on everyone's face for a second.)

- Stu likes to wrestle you, especially if you're playing around or in general rough housing. He sometimes pretends it's just guys being guys but it's really just to be close to you in public. He also likes the feeling of trying to overpower you because he's definitely not in charge with Billy, but you're nice enough to let him pretend for a little bit.

- in an AU where they don't die, somehow aren't caught for their crimes, and don't do anything dumb enough to get them killed before 2015 they see the legalization of gay marriage across the entire united states. Billy and Stu have a big fight about who gets to legally marry you, of course you're all at the altar, but whoever legally marries you will get to change the last name of the entire polycule.

- you agreed on a hyphenated name but you can only have one of their last names and both of them aren't too keen on changing their name (Billy wins, meaning you're 'Y/n Loomis-L/n' Stu's 'Stu Loomis-L/n' and billy is of course 'Billy Loomis-L/n')

- by the start of the reception Stu isn't angry anymore and keeps repeating Mr.Loomis-L/n every time he has to say something to one of you two.

- for now you three have different last names but the exact same heart.

[nearestend]

✨🌼🍄

PROMPTS : POSITIVITY.

as i am looking through my blogroll, i am now realizing that reblogging this meme might have been a mistake if only because of my indecisiveness and inability to choose ... nevertheless, we must persist.

this got long so we're putting it under the cut!

send ✨ and i'll recommend a multimuse blog.

starting off strong, i am going to say birdie @entriprises! while i'm not familiar with every single character on their roster, i really enjoy how much depth and thought they put into their portrayals. it doesn't always feel necessary for me to know the source material because they're just exceptional at weaving a scene that feels both vibrant and descriptive. i also really appreciate dedication to taking a side character such as cathy and giving her nuance and interest, while also seamlessly integrating with the universe she originates from! i think that can sometimes be hard to do so smoothly (in my own experience, it can often feel clumsy or forced if it doesn't flow naturally with the rest of canon) but birdie does this so well!

send 🌼 and i'll recommend a blog with beautiful writing.

there are many of these to choose from, but i think saying "everyone i follow" is a real cop out answer so i won't do that. but i am a big admirer of laney over at @guttersniper / @tellwolves / @choicescreen. we haven't written a whole lot together, but i love reading her threads whenever they pop up. laney writes with so much realism and grit, and paints it all with intrigue, but it never feels sugar coated or glossy to me. i always feel that creating interest can sometimes toe the line into romanticism and it's extremely tricky to keep a balance, but laney definitely has such a handle on maintaining interest without wandering into an unjust territory. her writing very much reflects the reality of which her characters live in, which is something i truly love in any situation — like when a more whimsical/fantastical character is written in a flowery or poetic prose, or a monstrous character's pov is more visceral. with her oc mutt in particular, i see a lot of grit, a harshness, which very much reflects the environment in which he exists. i could go on for a very long time analyzing all the aspects i like about laney's writing but oh boy. let's carry on!

send 🍄 and i'll recommend a blog with incredible graphics.

also a very difficult question because i think everyone i know does a really beautiful job with creating something that suits their muse. @endurehim / @velourya / @catchfire some incredibly beautiful work! i'm a big fan of how ink uses colour palettes that are tailored to the characters she writes. i have the tendency to visualize what i read or write a lot and often have colour associations to stories/themes/characters/etc, so this is something i greatly appreciate. bobby is an obvious example with all shades of icy blues (appropriate and fitting!) but what i really love is ink's choice to give joe a palette of greens and yellows. not just because it looks so visually interesting, but also because of the symbolism (no idea if this was intentional on ink's part but a really nice coincidence if it wasn't!). green being symbolic of money but also being representative of renewal, growth, and regeneration — something that heavily ties to joe as a man who is constantly at odds with his identity. i think it's all very beautiful work beyond just having something that looks cool and fun (which would also great anyways because i think we should just do some things because they're cool and fun) and it really speaks to ink's dedication and thought behind her characters. love, love, love.

[cullenakingirog]

I posted 305 times in 2022

That's 277 more posts than 2021!

155 posts created (51%)

150 posts reblogged (49%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@blue-eyes-white-privilege69

@marhikit

@snowberry-pie

@dreadfutures

@bluephoenix1347

I tagged 279 of my posts in 2022

Only 9% of my posts had no tags

#dragon age - 78 posts

#marh rambling - 51 posts

#dragon age inquisition - 41 posts

#my art - 33 posts

#marh art - 32 posts

#dragon age 2 - 26 posts

#dragon age inquistor - 22 posts

#dragon age oc - 18 posts

#dalisay kato bagwisan - 16 posts

#commission - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#dalisay's sire named her that after her bearer insisted on alab naming her so she was named pure because alab hoped her heart would stay pur

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Inquisitor Drawing Meme 1: Skyhold Outfit

So I designed Dalisay's outfit with a lot of heavy references from Pre-Colonial Philippine outfits and it was fun to give her a lot of headpieces NGL. Dalisay’s vallaslin is different cause homebrew Dalish clan do be like that, she has the snakeskin which means safety, protection, health, shield and strength while the one on her forehead are people holding hands/family which means harmony and unity. These are what I imagine the Sylaise tattoo of her clan/people to be.

I've been wanting to do the Inquisitor drawing meme for awhile and since I have two leaders for the Inquisition, expect the second one, Mahalina, to come in soon!~

After Mahalina, I’m opening some OC portrait requests as commission samples cause I want to save some money because this country’s got me paranoid RIP

59 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

#4

"ito ba ang ninanais ng aking Ina at Amba Poon? Na ika'y maging datu at simulan ang pagbagsak ng ating angkan, o kasuklam-suklam na ama?"

TRANSLATION: "Is this what my mother and grandfather wanted?To see you become datu and to begin the fall of our clan, o loathsome father?"

My DA4 Main WS protag Himagsikan on the day of their rigged trial that led to their disownment and exile after years of leading and protecting their people while also trying to make peace between Clan Magsumakit and the others who their father had offended. Himagsikan's hair was cut to brand them as a criminal and traitor and also to bring shame to them, their jewellery and fine silks were also taken back by their father to be given to their younger sister and the protective spells that's been put in every tattoo of my Dalish clans were taken back thus leading it to become the plain white colour it originally was.

Clan Magsumakit will regret the fact that they didn't fight to keep the young leader within their clan after Himagsikan's exile.

Also, all these tattoos mean something! Each of the tattoos used by my various Filipino-coded Dalish OCs have either their wishes, dreams or sometimes their parents' wishes for them tattooed with the different symbols that meant the different wishes they have. For Himagsikan it's mostly tied to strength, guidance, courage, protection with only the sun and moon meaning life. You could tell their wish is uhhhh obvious

65 notes - Posted November 17, 2022

#3

See the full post

67 notes - Posted August 18, 2022

#2

Happy N7 Day! I decided to do a Dari/Garrus piece to parallel the Dari/Thane piece I did last time! This is either during shore leave in ME3 or post ME3 where Garrus, Thane and Dari are living together (yes I'll ignore canon thanky) and these two are just doing cute stuff cause dammit I want them to do cute stuff

74 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS

Hi guys so this morning at 6 am, my elder sister found out  my younger sister had vomited and was shaking but limp but also in a way jerky in her movements, i took out money from my paypal to try and help with hospital funds but my dad just messaged us saying that we’ve exceeded the amount we had on hand (currently running on minimal sleep while also trying to run the house)

I’m opening commissions right now to try and help with the excess costs because apparently trying to make sure my family is healthy would mean paying an arm and a leg at the hospital

If you guys can’t afford to commission me, please reblog this!

See the full post

164 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[winterandwords]

✍🏻 WRITEBLR INTRO

👋🏻 Hi, I'm Winter. I write dark, emotionally intense fiction about queer disaster-people who collide against a backdrop of moral bankruptcy and surf the downward spiral hand in bloodstained hand. It mostly ends well for them though, because I get pretty attached to them and apparently readers do too (which is why I appreciate all you twisted beautiful souls so much).

🌈 I write a lot of LGBT+ characters so it feels relevant to say that I’m an LGBT+ character too. I know that might not matter to my readers, but it matters to me and it impacts my creative perspective as well as my perspective on life in general.

📝 I don't write explicit sexual content because it's not my vibe (not a genital in sight here, folks). That said, if you're uncomfortable with themes around fictional violence, drug and alcohol use, and angsty kink in stories aimed at an adult audience, I might not be the ideal writer for you to follow. Not everything is for everyone and that's OK.

🔗 LINKS

📖 Read my books online, and download them as EPUBs and PDFs, for free at WinterAndWords.com ☕ If you enjoy my writing and would like to offer some support, you can buy me a virtual coffee on Ko-fi 📲 If you want to see some non-writing life fragments, my photo and video diary lives on Instagram and TikTok

💜 My reblogs tend to be writing-related, with a few exceptions. My likes are (mostly) non-writing-related things I got a kick out of, or personal posts that I want to acknowledge but that don't feel appropriate to reblog.

⭐ Encouragement for you Write what the fuck you want Gentle truths and kind honesty for writers Writing advice about 'writing advice'

🌊 NOVEMBER BREAKS (complete)

Genre: Transgressive, literary Audience: Adult Length: Approx 52k words

Working title was Project Storm

VIBE Crime, weather symbolism and questionable life choices. Hurt me, I need to feel alive. Violence is a drug. Also, drugs are drugs. This is a love story like crude oil is a tea. #ThatShouldNotBeHot. Nothing’s real anyway.

INTRO No conscience, no problem.

Noah kills for money. Brett hides a life of crime behind a successful career. Officially, they both protect people from people like themselves. Unofficially, everything is falling apart. Until they meet. And it all gets worse...

Read or download on my website

💀 FIVE (complete)

Genre: Various Audience: Adult Length: Approx 6.5k words

INTRO A collection of short science fiction, experimental, urban fantasy, and horror stories exploring themes of loss, transition, and altered states.

Read or download on my website

🌃 PROJECT FREQUENCY (WIP)

Genre: Cyberpunk, neon-noir Audience: Adult

VIBE High-rise buildings and low-life scum. Everything hurts, but not enough to feel good. Yes, that’s a gun in my pocket and no, I’m not pleased to see you. If mind control is real, why do I still have to make decisions?

INTRO Corruption and cruelty run through the veins of an opulent metropolis, where every side is the wrong side and progress is fuelled by exploitation. Too useful to waste on prison, underworld assassin Rafael Turner is sentenced to military service. When a mission to infiltrate a criminal gang drags his past to the surface and someone he thought he'd lost forever unexpectedly returns, Rafe has a chance at a future he’d given up hoping for. But how much is he willing to risk to make it a reality?

WIP summary Sign up for the tag list

Updates 23 October 2022 05 September 2022 13 August 2022

📇 TAG INDEX

#the shit in my head | rants, rambles and writer life

#project storm | WIP excerpts, updates etc (see also #november breaks for posts about the book after publication)

#project frequency | WIP excerpts, updates etc

#my writing | snippets and other wordstuff

#microfiction | tiny little stories

#your writing | other people's words

#writeblr tags | tag games and memes

#writeblr connect | finding writeblrs to follow

#reblogs | what it says on the tin

#reblogs plus | reblogs with my additions

[rubixkun]

I posted 395 times in 2021

308 posts created (78%)

87 posts reblogged (22%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.3 posts.

I added 200 tags in 2021

#cap draws - 60 posts

#danganronpa - 30 posts

#dangan ronpa - 27 posts

#makoto naegi - 16 posts

#naegiri - 16 posts

#kyoko kirigiri - 14 posts

#digimon - 13 posts

#kazukibou - 10 posts

#naegiri week - 7 posts

#danganronpa 3 - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 75 characters

#someone on ig has makoto calling her babygiri and it creeps me the heck out

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Some art for my Instagram. This is a DTIYS challenge so if you have an Instagram, check out the post here

Anyway protective Kirigiri is best Kirigiri

210 notes • Posted 2021-01-28 23:59:01 GMT

#4

NAEGIRI WEEK DAY 6: FREE TIME

Hey, who ordered the symbolism?

218 notes • Posted 2021-12-11 18:23:02 GMT

#3

The tragic story of star-crossed lovers...Vega and Altair - I mean Maki and Kaito.

Constellations was one of the prompts for Momoharu week. like last year, I picked one prompt. Vega is in the constellation, Lyra, while Altair is in Aquila.

fun fact is that in July, there is a festival in Japan dedicated to the story of Vega and Altair. I didn't know this until I started looking into the story.

271 notes • Posted 2021-05-22 17:42:19 GMT

#2

Shows up to the meme late with Starbucks.

436 notes • Posted 2021-03-19 23:55:28 GMT

#1

Who wants late night art?

Drawn for the lovely (and also free) zine known as @totographszine! I applied on a whim and somehow got in. I'm glad they did though because I had a lot of fun and the zine runners and participants were all so passionate and fun.

I may not be the most hardcore ML fans. But I loved the Kwami swap episode, and of course puns.

I would say I went for the lowest hanging fruit, but Mister Bug seems to be hanging much lower...

821 notes • Posted 2021-04-09 07:55:27 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[musepirations]

hi there, sweethearts !! because i’ve gotten some questions in the past about ‘ how to start with roleplay on tumblr ‘, i decided to make a couple of guides to help you on your way ( i will post one concerning roleplaying in groups later ). in this guide, i will share all you need to know when you want to start doing INDEPENDENT ( INDIE ) ROLEPLAY on tumblr !! i hope this guide will help you -- if so, feel free to give this a LIKE or REBLOG !! the best of luck and have fun !! xoxo

                                                     STEP ONE : your account

i personally believe that having a finished and easy-to-navigate blog is the essential starting point in independent/indie roleplay. you want to hit the tags and find partners with a blog that says something about who you are, what you will accept and not accept, who your muses are, which plots you would like to play out etc...

the first step in achieving this is finding the right THEME. having a theme that is easy to navigate is very important -- this way, you can make your life easier because your theme is well-organised, but your potential partners will also find it easier to get an idea of who your muses are and what you wish to roleplay ( i am convinced this can be a make or break for people when deciding who they would like to write with ). below, i will share a bunch of links to help your search for the right theme and pages:

THEMES: you can find a collection of potential indie themes right HERE. some of these themes have muse tabs already build in, others don’t.

CHARACTER PAGES: does the theme you fancy not have a build in muse tab ?? don’t worry !! there are a lot of amazing muse/character page codes out there. find some amazing ones HERE or HERE.

ABOUT PAGES: it might also be nice to make a separate, more detailed page for each of your muses, for which some amazing page codes can be found HERE and HERE.

i would also recommend adding a PAGE ABOUT YOURSELF. who are you, how old are you, what timezone do you reside in, what pronouns do you go by -- but also, what are your roleplay likes and dislikes, what are your trigger warnings, what makes you uncomfortable and would you rather not see roleplayed out on your account ?? anything you want your potential partner to know and keep in mind. also add a RULES PAGE on which you state what you will and will not roleplay, who you will and will not roleplay with ( f.ex. muns under a certain age, or certain faceclaims you don’t wish to roleplay against etc... ), what you will and will not accept from partners and during plotting etc...

once these pages are all set up and organised, the most time-consuming task will be done already !!

                                           STEP TWO : your tagging system

this might seem trivial -- but trust me, you will be grateful for having an organised tagging system once you start adding muses and partners.

do your tags have to be fancy ?? no, not at all. they just have to be practical and organised. if you have several muses, it might be a good idea to create tags for each of them ( f.ex. MUSE NAME || threads. ; MUSE NAME || portrait. ; MUSE NAME || wanted plots. ; MUSE NAME || wanted opposites. ; etc... , and this for each of your muses ). in this way, you can organise all your threads per role. all your muses’ pictures per role. all your muses’ wanted plots or opposites per role, etc... it might also be a good idea to tag ships, once you have developed those, or pairings in general ( f.ex. YOUR MUSE NAME & YOUR PARTNER’S MUSE NAME || threads. ). there is no such thing as too many tags -- as long as everything is tagged and organised, it will make your life and the life of your roleplay partners way easier !!

now, for those who don’t have the patience and interest to do fancy tags ( which i 100% understand -- you don’t need them, either ), you can already get a clean and organised and still nice-looking tagging system simply by playing around with brackets and lines. to help you out, i will list some potential ideas for you to use or take inspiration from:

YOUR MUSE NAME || tag .

YOUR MUSE NAME ( tag ) .

YOUR MUSE NAME { tag } .

YOUR MUSE NAME — tag .

YOUR MUSE NAME ;; tag .

as you can see, you can easily get a nice tagging system just by using what you have on your keyboard. but, for those who like it a bit more fancy, you can use THIS and THIS website to find symbols and fancy fonts to play around with. there also is THIS very useful post with some templates for you to use, which you should definitely check out ( credit to @yellowhelper ).

before you start, it might be a good idea to do a little tag drop per muse ( i.e. make a post for each of your muses, in which you tag every single tag you have created for said muse, just so these tags are already on your blog ).

                                            STEP THREE : hitting the tags

now you have your blog completely finished, your muses uploaded and your tags arranged -- it is time to hit the tags and tell the indie roleplay world you are out there. the process of finding partners might seem daunting -- but keep in mind that a lot of members of the indie roleplay community are probably just as excited about finding new partners as you are. so don’t be afraid to approach muns !!

what i personally find a good way to find partners, is to just start looking through the ‘ indie rp ‘ or ‘ independent rp ‘ tag and take a look at the blogs in there. click on their accounts, look at their muses, look at what they are searching for ( perhaps one of your muses might fit one of their wanted opposites or plots ). and if you’ve found a blog that has piqued your interest, don’t be scared to shoot them a message. ask whether they are looking for partners and whether they are interested in plotting. tell them what you got to offer or which of their muses or wanted plots you are personally interested in. you have absolutely nothing to lose when messaging these people -- if they decline your offer, then you can continue your search ( perhaps look at the blogs they roleplay with, go through their network to see whether some of their partners might want to roleplay with you too ). but there’s an equally big chance they will gladly hear you out and start plotting with you. just never give up -- it might seem to go slow in the beginning, but once you’ve got a couple of threads going, you will see people will begin to show interest and you will be introduced into networks of roleplayers and consequently, start your own network as well.

you can also go through the ‘ indie starter ‘, ‘ indie start call ‘, ‘ open indie starter ‘, etc... tags to see whether there are any open starters you could reply to, or any starter calls you could give a like. these starter calls are ways for roleplayers to find new partners as well -- if you want to, you can post one of these starter calls yourself. say that you are new and would love to find some roleplay partners. or you can start off by posting some open starters yourself.

i personally am always willing to help out indie roleplayers in their search for roleplay partners -- feel free to shoot me a message asking for a shoutout, that you are looking for new partners, and i will gladly post it and hopefully, you will get some people’s attention. i am sure there are plenty other roleplay helpers who would be willing to give you a little boost if you approach them in a polite and kind manner !!

                                                STEP FOUR : tracking your threads

once you have found some partners and got some threads going, it might be a good idea to use a TREAD TRACKER just to make sure you can keep an overview of all the threads you have with your partners. on these websites, you can add threads and then they will automatically keep track of all replies to them -- in other words, you can check this tracker to see who has done the last reply, whether you have missed any replies, etc... this isn’t a necessity -- it’s just a useful bonus.

                                               STEP FIVE : useful links

i think i have mentioned the most essential things in the four steps above !! but i wanted to add this little section to help you navigate some additional information/things that can help you out when looking for ideas for your muses, for plots, for faceclaims, etc... so below, you can find a bunch of my own links which i hope will help you out and make this entire experience a bit easier for you !!

writing help

character help

url help

tag help

label help ( labels page )

roleplay help

faceclaims : female // male // non-binary // transgender // plus size // people of colour

names : female // male

plot inspiration

starter sentences

ask memes

if you ever have any questions or you need any help, don’t hesitate to shoot me a message !! xoxo

[thesoulbound]

how about all those munday symbols?

Munday Meme

🍐 - How many ships have you considered but rejected for your muse?

Eh. I reject most ships for Sam at the same time as I want him to get laid. It's really contradicting lmao. I've considered maybe 2 or 3 ships? Ruby being the most natural one even though I don't ship it in canon.

🍊 - What are your favourite genres of threads? Fluff? Angst? Etc

Oh fluffy angst maybe lol. Hurt and comfort. I like to hurt my muses, but I also like to comfort them.

🍎 - If you had to chose a new faceclaim for your muse, who would you pick?

No one. Jared Padalecki is Sam Winchester. End of the discussion this hasn't even been...

🍋 - Does your muse complain about things to you? If so, what?

No because my muse isn't real. *snorts* sorry. But yeah that's my answer :P

🍌 - What drew you into the fandom in the first place?

Screw the fandom, I watched "In My Time of Dying" (2x01) on TV way back in 2007 and it got me hooked enough to start watching the show from season 1 and 2 just in time for season 3 to start airing. Ironically it was partly the fandom that pushed me away from the show after season 7 (before returning once the show was over in 2020). This fandom is a sickness. Anyway off topic sorta. What drew me in was Sam and Dean's relationship and then my growing love for Sam.

🍉 - If you considered a time travel thread, when would your muse go?

Hmmm. Ironically this is one of the things that annoyed me in the show. That most of the time it was Dean that always time travelled. Pissed me off lmao. Anyway I would have loved Sam (and Dean) to time travel to the 1920s or 1940s.

🍓 - What’s your sweetest rp experience so far?

Befriending people.

🍇 - Have you even encountered any partners that threw a tantrum at you?

I wouldn't say tantrum, but I've certainly come across partners that went nuts whenever they did a reply and kept telling me they had replied for me to hurry. Let's just say that partnership didn't last long.

🍒 - How many friends do you have on here?

Answered before this.

🍍 - How many drafts are you stalling with this meme?

6 on Sam and 3 on Cordell.

🥝 - If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?

New Zealand and back to Vancouver, Canada.

🍅 - Have you ever had a case of mistaken identity for your muse or another?

Like, in-character or with someone who wanted to rp? I don't quite understand the question so I'm just gonna say... none?

🍆 - How much sin appears on your dash every day?

Not that much actually. A little more on sundays naturally, but eh. Jared is insanely gorgeous though so I'd say whenever I reblog something with his face on it's a sin ;D lololol Anyway seriously though not as much as I'd hoped for? lol. I'm not even one that likes to write smut, but I do crave Sam get laid more XD He deserves the sex ok?!

🥒 - Are you thinking about reviving old muses? Who?

Not at the moment. The only other non-active, but not-deleted old muse I have is Newt Scamander and I don't know if I ever go back to him. Depends on whether I like the next movie or not. I love Newt so much - he's my all time favorite character along with Sam. I just need inspiration and rp partners you know? lol

🥕 - What do you think about the current theme trends?

Nothing at all? lol

🌽 - Is there a fandom you’re too intimidated to join?

I never plan on joining fandoms. I tumble into them whether I like it or not. If I had any control I'd stay the fudge out of the Supernatural one because it's bloody nasty (though the rp community of the show is amazing).

🌶 - Do you find your muse attractive?

Oh my god I've had a crush on Jared since way way way back since he was a wee beanstalk lol. He's gorgeous. So naturally so is Sam Winchester ;D

🥔 - What’s the dumbest mistake you’ve made in rp?

Oh I don't even know where to begin.... Ignoring signals of bad rp partners I guess and is hit face first with crappy behavior?

🥜 - What’s the nuttiest thread you’ve ever had?

I have no idea. I had a crack one on here when my Sam blog was still quite new where my Sam told a Cas that Dean slept around a LOT and it lead to a hilarious thread of whether or not Dean was "loose" or not.

[anakinthetrashking]

yo! you just read the queen's thief series? :0 i am a long-time fan and would LOVE to hear any of your feelings about it (also, have you seen the discord server bc its pretty active and fans always love more fans if discord servers are your thing :)

So, you'll have to forgive how LATE this reply is, it's been a mixture of busy-school-semester-quarantine-social-burnout and tumblr deleting my replies when I tried to save them to continue writing later!! But it's now 3am and my brain won't stop thinking about Queen's Thief, so it's the best time to reply, really! (But I really do appreciate you sending in this ask to let me rant about TQT!!!!! AHFKSISJ replying is just hard sometimes lol)

So because I'm terribly long winded and because spoilers!!! For a few people who follow me who haven't read it/or haven't finished reading it, the rest is under the readmore!

Where to begin. So my blog says I just read it but I realized that's a little bit of a lie now? I read the first five books for the first time at the end of Dec 2019, and the beginning of January 2020! I had seen the name of the series around before, around Tumblr bc of a few people I'm following, in regards to a Batfam fic by lurkinglurkerwholurks, ( this one: Breathing )who is ALSO a longtime TQT fan! I reread her Batfam fic after reading the Queen's Thief series and it hit SOOOOOOOOO much harder. Really brilliant. But that last straw was getting an email saying that one of my other all time fav fic writers was writing a fic for TQT. I saw that email and basically immediately downloaded The Thief on my library app 😂 (i needed to be able to read the fic!!! And I'm soooooo glad I: a) read the series before reading the fic, therefore not spoiling anything and b) was able to read the fic because holy cow does it live rent free in my brain. It's Ere by audreycritter btw)

Anyhow, I absolutely DEVOURED the books. I read one after another and then ended up rereading the first three again more slowly over the course of that spring semester. I started drawing again, listened to a good amount the Attolian Archives podcast, reblogged and MADE!! ART!! and m e m es, died when MWT REBLOGGED ONE OF MY MEMES AND SAID IT MADE HER LAUGH, recommended the series to a bunch of people and got several to at least *start* reading the series! I haven't gotten seratonin from books like this since early high school ten years ago! 🤣

Plus the fandom is SO SWEET!!!! And MWT is so engaging!!!! I love that she lets us play in her sandbox! It's like she made a fully furnished dollhouse complete with dolls but she lets us continue to decorate it and build on it and move the dolls around, and then she comes up and gives us compliments on the little things we've done!!! 🥺😭💞

Oh but the books themselves!!! They dig their spots in my heart deeper everytime I read them!!! I don't think Ive ever read a series that I enjoy more every time I reread it. I'm looking forward to rereading this last book, bc I know that the only one that I was obsessed with the first read through was QoA. All the others I liked the first time I read it, but I wasn't in LOVE with them, you know? But when I went back to read them a second time I LOVED THEM. Its like a riptide that you kick around in the shallows the first time around, and then the next time suddenly you're sucked out to sea???

It feels like the pages hold secrets that need to be teased out. The dialogue is SO FUN. It has suspense but not so much that you're stressed. It's so balanced. It has lines that make you put the book down and have to just, do a lap.around the block because they really said that. THEY REALLY SAID THAT. "Diplomacy, in my own name." SHE REALLY SAID THAT. The symbolism, the foreshadowing, I'm OBSESSED! THE CHARACTERS!!!! THE LOYALTY!!!!! What i wouldn't do to have that sort of loyalty written into some of the other fandoms that I'm in. And the TEnderNESS. The way Gen interacts with others??? The way he loves so.wholly? With his entire self??? The way that it's sorta slowburn found family before tumbling into found family all at once in a way that isn't slowburn at all?? I'm pulled in by Gens tricks every time. The storytwists surprised me but made sense. The writing was enjoyable to get lost in. I think of the way that Gen sits at Irene's feet and looks up at her with eyes full of love, how he sits like a printers apprentice in a chair but sits like a king while sick/hurt in his bed, I think about the way he pushed Relius's hair back and kissed him on the forehead, how Relius said he would still crawl back to his Queen and Gen said me too, the difference between my Queen and my King and your Majesty 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 the way Helen says that Sophos basically has Gens heart in his hands, the way that all four of them are entwined together. I think about these books and I'm filled with YEARNING

Uh, No thoughts, head empty except for squeeing about TQT. This isn't even like,,,,,, idk a quarter of it??? There's so much more but it's all so hard to put into words, a lot of it is just me yelling incoherently because I'm overwhelmed! And when I string words together it's, well. All over the place! 😂

As for the discord thing, I've seen the link around! I'm uh, Not Great(tm) at being social, and so the discord is a leeeeetle daunting, haha. But I have considered it, especially because I have an... Interesting fic idea that I wanted to drop into the pool of other TQT fans to see their reactions. It's... a little bit evil...

Thanks again for the ask!

[resurrectionrpg]

Good evening, villains and victims! We’d like to kick the weekend and the opening of the roleplay off by getting to know your characters with an honesty weekend! You do not have to participate, but we would love to meet your characters, and for you to take the chance to have a little inbox fun. Please ensure your inboxes are open and your blog is not dash only.

This will go from now until Sunday at 12AM EST. If you’d like to post intros now, please do so! Otherwise we expect intros by Monday. 

We have some memes and starters under the cut, but please feel free to reblog whatever you’d like!

                                 DIALOGUE/SENTENCES

VICTIM → VICTIM

❝ I dreamed about this guy [ player insert ]. ❞

❝ What’d he look like? You get a look at him? ❞

❝ Well then how can you say somebody else was there? ❞

❝ You could just see the cuts happening, all at once. ❞

❝ What do you mean all at once? ❞

❝ I probably could’ve saved her if I’d moved sooner. ❞

❝ There was this guy who had knives for fingers. ❞

❝ You’ll feel better as soon as you sleep. ❞

❝ You better tell me, cause now he’s after me! ❞

❝ Feel better?! You call this feeling better? ❞

❝ Avoid everything happening to me by just getting good and loaded. ❞

❝ He can’t get you because mommy killed him. ❞

❝ I take back every bit of energy I ever gave you. ❞

❝ Do you have any idea what that means? ❞

❝ She’s already fucked up, so leave her alone. ❞

❝ What? What are you talking about? ❞

❝ Just don’t fall asleep. If you die in your dreams, you die for real. ❞

❝ You think you can bring the dead back to life? ❞

❝ He brought us here so we could remember what he did to us. ❞

❝ I want you to go straight up to bed, okay? ❞❝ He’s not after us because we lied - He’s after us because we told the truth. ❞

❝  You know what they say, kemosabe, in Hell, everybody loves popcorn.   ❞

❝ We’re gonna be in here a long time. ❞

❝ There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about that night. ❞

❝ Where did you hear that? ❞

❝ So what did you do? Did you call the police? ❞

❝   I’m gonna teach you something. I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you.   ❞

❝   You know, all in all, you’ve had a pretty good run.  ❞

❝   You must’ve known it all had to end somewhere - might as well be now.  ❞

❝ Next time, we go someplace else. ❞

❝   This is crazy, sitting here and waiting to be attacked.  ❞

❝  I told you already, I don’t why they let me go! They just did.  ❞

❝  Sometimes I can still see their face whenever I close my eyes.  ❞

❝ Grab anything that might make a good weapon. ❞

❝ Somebody should make a run for the car. ❞

❝ No, no, no! We can’t go out there! ❞

❝ Come on, it’s the only way. ❞

❝ Whoever’s the fastest runner, who is that? ❞

VILLAIN → VICTIM

❝ We weren’t hunting, we were protecting you! ❞

❝ You’ll understand how it feels to never fail to protect them. ❞

❝  You know what they say, kemosabe, in Hell, everybody loves popcorn.   ❞

❝  Oh, don’t you cry! I’ve killed a million times before.  ❞

❝ Did you know…that after the heart stops beating, the brain keeps functioning for over 7 minutes? ❞

❝   I ain’t no fucking clown.   ❞

❝ Ooh, sounds fun, but it’s a little fast for me. ❞

❝ I’m your boyfriend now, ______. ❞

❝ It hurts, doesn’t it? That’s because you’re in my world now, bitch! ❞

❝ I had to keep you awake long enough so when you finally slept, you’d never wake up again. ❞

❝ We’re gonna be in here a long time. ❞

❝   I’m gonna teach you something. I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you.   ❞

❝   Do you really think I give a fuck?  ❞

❝  what’s the pointing in kidnapping if you aren’t going to do any killing?  ❞

❝  i usually like to get to know my victims a little before i kill them.  ❞

❝   I’m not crazy; I’m in control!  ❞

❝   I’m not here to brighten your dismal day; I am here to end your miserable life.  ❞

❝  You may think this is a one time thing but I promise, I will kill again.  ❞

❝  Come out, come out, wherever you are! You can’t hide from me forever!  ❞

❝  there’s no turning back now! there’s no one coming for you, except for me!  ❞

❝   You know, all in all, you’ve had a pretty good run.  ❞

❝   You must’ve known it all had to end somewhere - might as well be now.  ❞

❝   You can all count yourselves lucky you got fucked by the best!  ❞

❝   In exactly one hundred and twenty seconds, we shall begin.  ❞

❝   All you have to do is survive twelve hours.  ❞

❝   What I do? Unfortunately for you, I do real well!  ❞

❝   I am certainly not here to elicit an amused response.  ❞

❝   Murder school is now in session.  ❞

❝  you know what they say, once a killer, always a killer.  ❞

❝   I am here to end your miserable fucking life.  ❞

❝   I’m sending you straight to the fucking pearly gates with a first class ticket.  ❞

❝   I came to get down and dirty. Oh yeah.  ❞

❝   Look what the fucking cat dragged in!  ❞

❝   Death has come to sing it’s quite song, run and hide for it won’t belong!  ❞

❝   Is it hunting time now?  ❞

❝   I guess I should really put you out of your misery.  ❞

❝  You can run but you can’t hide! I’m going to find you and kill you!  ❞

❝  See, I’ve stalked you for sometime before finally snatching you up!  ❞

❝  I didn’t want to kill you when I brought you here, but now, I have no choice!  ❞

❝ I’m gonna kill your whole fucking family.  ❞

❝ I want you to see what happens to heroes…  ❞

GENERAL

❝ I didn’t want you to remember! I wanted you to forget! ❞

❝ I didn’t want to remember! I wanted to forget! ❞

❝ They’re…they’re repressed memories, from a terrible, terrible time. ❞

❝ There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about that night. ❞

❝ You said that… You said that we didn’t know each other. ❞

❝ Don’t pretend you don’t know, because you do. ❞

❝ Your mind was just playing tricks on you. ❞

❝ He kept repeating it over and over again.. ❞

❝   I’m gonna teach you something. I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you.   ❞

❝   There’s only four things you need to know about this career.   ❞

❝   Do you really think I give a fuck?  ❞

❝   I always thought I’d appear rather pretentious with a pipe.  ❞

❝   You know, all in all, you’ve had a pretty good run.  ❞

❝   You diggin’ what you see, pops?  ❞

❝   I mean no disrespect, but was not the question.  ❞

❝   See you later, Popeye! I’m gonna go get me some spinach.  ❞

❝   I don’t wanna be here! They make me be here!  ❞

❝   You and me, we’re the same! We’re the same!  ❞

❝    What the fuck is going on? Do you see anything?  ❞

❝   Look what the fucking cat dragged in!  ❞

❝   I’m so flattered you remember me.  ❞

❝   Don’t worry, ______.  It’s always somebody’s fault.  ❞

❝  Do you think that this killer is working all alone?  ❞

❝  How hard is it to catch a killer? ❞ ❝  I don’t want you out at night in this town, roaming around.  ❞

❝  I can’t believe they’re withholding information about that murder.  ❞

❝  Wait, you mean you don’t know? Do you live under a rock?  ❞

❝  I can’t believe I’m still living in this fucking town.  ❞

❝  Why are you so paranoid and scared all of a sudden? It’s just the police.  ❞

❝  Ever since this recent murder, you’ve been super paranoid.  ❞

❝  Please, hurry back!! I’m afraid I might not ever seen you again when you leave.  ❞

❝ Man she really fucked him up good huh? ❞

❝ I knew you were into some sketchy shit! ❞

❝ This wasn’t a random attack! Our family’s being targeted. ❞

❝ Why would anybody do this? ❞

❝ Oh my god, what is happening to us? ❞

❝ I don’t see anyone. Do you see anyone? ❞

❝ Why are you calling me a low life? I’m just trying to help the situation. ❞

❝ What you just said. What was that? ❞

❝ Is there something else you wanted to say to me? ❞

❝ I can’t believe you’re in on this. ❞

❝ Do you kiss your mama with that mouth?  ❞

❝ What the fuck is your problem?  ❞

❝ Here’s the list of names I need you to run down for me.  ❞

❝ That’s a funny-ass name.  ❞

❝ If you want special favors you gotta give me something in return.  ❞

❝  I tried to walk the line but now I realize there is no line.  ❞

❝ I can’t fucking wait! You want it? Here it is, come and get it.  ❞                                

                                       SYMBOLS/GAMES

SEND  💋 FOR MY MUSE TO REVEAL A SECRET

SEND ¿ FOR A MEMORY MY MUSE HAS (optional: OF ___)

SEND MY MUSE “👀 + A QUESTION” AND THEY’LL HAVE TO ANSWER WITH 100% HONESTY

SEND  ✄ FOR A FAVORITE MOVIE OF MY MUSES

SEND  ✚ FOR ONE OF MY MUSE’S MOST PRIZED POSSESSIONS

SEND  ✿ FOR A HAPPY MEMORY MY MUSE HAS

SEND ♬ FOR A CHILDHOOD HEADCANON

SEND  ☼ FOR A DREAM HEADCANON

SEND  ✜ FOR A FEAR HEADCANON

SEND ☠ FOR A DEATH HEADCANON

SEND ◊ FOR A HEADCANON OF MUN’S CHOOSING

SEND  ♤ FOR SOMETHING MY MUSE DISLIKES OR HATES

SEND  ★ FOR A TALENT HEADCANON

SEND  △ FOR A SEX HEADCANON

SEND  ⊗ FOR SOMETHING MY MUSE HAS A PHOBIA OF

SEND  ⭐️ AND I WILL GIVE A FACT ABOUT MY MUSE

SEND [BRAGGART] FOR MY MUSE TO BRAG ABOUT THEMSELVES

SEND  👀 FOR MY MUSE TO TALK ABOUT THE ONE THING OTHERS HAVE THAT THEY DON’T

SEND [ENVIOUS] TO FIND OUT WHAT MY MUSE GETS JEALOUS OVER

SEND [VENT] FOR MY MUSE TO RANT ABOUT SOMETHING/THAT GETS THEM RILED UP

SEND [CHILL] TO FIND OUT HOW MY MUSE CALMS DOWN

SEND [RELAX] TO FIND OUT HOW MY MUSE RELAXES

SEND  💏 TO FIND OUT ABOUT MY MUSE’S FIRST KISS

SEND 👶 TO FIND OUT ABOUT MY MUSE’S CHILDHOOD

SEND [FAMILIAL] TO FIND OUT ABOUT MY MUSE’S RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR FAMILY

                                   QUESTIONS/DEVELOPMENT

Do you hurt people without consideration?

Does it ever get tiring, keeping so many secrets?

Are you scared of letting others help you?

Do you jump so quickly into relationships only to leave just as quick?

Do you need other people’s approval?

Do you believe in yourself?

Do you not think you’re worth more?

Do you like to feel broken or have you just learned to live with the pain?

Are you afraid of your flaws?

Do you fake your confidence so people can’t see how self-conscious you truly are?

Have you ever stopped to think how others feel when you leave them behind because you got bored?

Do you claim to be innocent when you are guilty of much pain and abuse?

Can you live independently?

Do you jump into relationships before you are even aware of what love is?

Do you ever take responsibility for your own actions?

Do other people’s opinions matter much to you?

Do you have to win every argument you get into?

Will you ever be able to fully show another person your flaws and insecurities and realize they still love you?

Do you see emotions as a vulnerability?

Are you so proud and mighty that you must go through life without ever letting others help you?

Are you incapable of realizing you aren’t perfect?

Do you try hard to make sure nobody ever finds out who you really are?

Does your social appearance dictate how you live your life?

Do you think you are only worth love if you conceal your true self?

Do you hide your loneliness behind your humor?

Do you expect people to be honest with you?

Do you expect people to be honest with you, even if you lie and deceive them?

Do you have to one-up people every single chance you get?

Do you ever take other people’s feelings into consideration?

How narcissistic are you?

Do you need to be better than everyone?

Is it hard for you to express your emotions to others?

Do you let others walk all over you?

Will you ever let other people see who you truly are?

[annabethwisegirl-chase]

250 Headcanons (Part 2)

Headcanons #51-100.  These cover Annabeth’s third year at camp through the events of The Titan’s Curse.

51.  It’s their third year when Luke gets his quest.  She’s half convinced that he’ll take her with him, and is devastated when he doesn’t.  Instead, he chooses one of his siblings, who’s older than he is and has more experience at camp, and one of Clarisse’s brothers.  They’re a good group, fighting wise, but Annabeth can’t help but feel that’s all they’ve got.  They’re all talented with their weapons, and Luke’s smart and cunning, but she’s afraid that it won’t be enough.  The night before he’s supposed to leave, Annabeth finds him getting in some last minute practice in the arena.  She makes him promise to come back to her and he does.  And because Luke’s never broken a promise to her before, she believes he’ll be safe and will make it back to camp.

52.  While Luke’s gone, things kind of fall apart for Annabeth.  Her and Malcolm get into a fight over the fact she has seniority over him, despite the fact that he’s a year older than she is.  It’s a dumb argument, but they’re both so stubborn that neither one of theme are willing to compromise and they go three weeks without speaking.  It makes the Athena cabin feel tense, to say the least.

53.  Annabeth doesn’t remember how it came up--maybe they were talking about places they wanted to visit, or maybe they were just talking about their family history--but she makes a passing comment to Clarisse about the fact that her mortal family is descended from Swedish royalty.  It gets the Ares camper to make a quip about that’s why she acts so high and mighty--like she’s a princess compared to the rest of the paupers.  It’s not meant to be mean, at least, no meaner than the other quips the girls share, but it rubs Annabeth the wrong way.  Especially when Clarisse takes to calling her “princess” whenever she does something in an attempt to make herself look better.  Eventually, Annabeth gets sick of it and something inside of her just snaps.  The girls end up fighting physically outside, near the canoe lake, and they have to be pulled apart by Chiron and one of the older satyrs.  The next few months, they communicate only through death glares.

54.  With the loss of her two closest friends, and Luke still gone on a quest, Annabeth finds herself looking for friendship in an old, slightly odd companion: Grover.  After Thalia’s death, she tried to distance herself from the satyr.  But, now that Luke’s gone, he seems a pleasant reminder of the good old days.  He’s awkward, has horrible taste in music, and can’t play the pipes to save his life, but he’s funny.  And he and Annabeth once more become fast friends.

55.  When Luke’s quest weighs heavy on her mind one day, Annabeth finds Chiron to ask why she can’t have one of her own.  He looks at her with an expression that shows he knows more than he lets on and promises that her day is coming.  After she asks when exactly that day will be here, he tells her to go up to the attic and take the leather pouch from around the Oracle’s neck.  It’s the first time Annabeth hears the Great Prophecy.  Her nightmares change from being about spiders, to being about the prophecy.  And suddenly, she’s convinced that every kid who comes across the border is a child of the Big Three.  But more importantly: they’re her chance to prove herself.

56.   Luke comes back from his quest not long after, but it’s immediately obvious he’s not the same.  Technically speaking, he was successful.  But, to look at him, it sounded like a stretch.  For one thing, Luke was the only one to return from the quest, but he refused to talk about what happened to the other two guys who left with him.  He comes back clutching the arm of a dragon and the nasty cut on his face is still healing when he stumbles across the camp borders.  Even though he’s bloody and beaten, Annabeth still runs to him the second she finds out he’s back and he still picks her up just like he used to when they were on the run.  He tells her that he made good on his promise, but something about the smile on his face is different now.  It doesn’t quite reach his eyes.  It’s reminiscent of the time right after Thalia died, so she thinks it’s only a matter of time before it comes back again.  It never does.

57.   There are other things that change about Luke after he returns from his quest.  His and Annabeth’s sparring sessions, once an everyday thing, become less frequent.  At first, he misses it only once in a while.  But soon, once in a while becomes once a month, which becomes a week, which becomes every other day, until he finally just stops coming.  She asked him once why he stopped coming, and he just seemed kind of surprised by the question.  He gave some lame excuse about her not needing it anymore, or just forgetting, but he doesn’t meet her eyes when he says it.

58.   That’s the first year the Aphrodite cabin convinces Chiron to hold a prom for the campers.  After all, there are several of them that are year round and will never have a real “prom” experience, which they claim to be completely unfair.  Even though she’s too young to go, Annabeth gets wrapped up in the whole idea of prom.  She helps the Hephaestus and Aphrodite cabins set up for it, and gets a little flustered when she sees Luke in a tuxedo with his Converse sneakers.  It’s totally inappropriate, but it works on him.  And they both laugh when he pulls her up on his feet to teach her how to dance.  It’s one of the few times since he’s been back that she’s heard it.  That night is a bit of a mess.  One of the Hermes campers spikes the punch and a satyr drank too much of it.  It ended with him passing out and getting a complete prom makeover: dress, hair done around his horns, and makeup slathered on his face.  It made the bead for that summer.

59.   The next year passes relatively uneventfully.  There’s an epic prank war between all the cabins, which ends when the Hermes cabin had a python put into it by the Demeter kids.  No one’s really sure how they even managed to get it in there.  But, it’s one of the most amazing things Annabeth ever saw when she watched Luke catch it and release it back into the woods.

60.  She’s eleven when she becomes head counselor for the Athena cabin, and like always, she’s the youngest.  Most of her older siblings don’t always take direction from her because she is so young, but she does have seniority.  Still, Annabeth has always been strategic and is quick to make friends with one of her sisters that is about four years older than she is.  It’s her that most of the Athena kids listen to, but Annabeth doesn’t care.  As long as they’re following her orders, then that’s what matters.

61.   That’s also the year she gets to lead her first Capture the Flag team.  It’s what finally gets her to talk to Clarisse again--an actual conversation instead of the one word ones they’d been having.  They talk battle strategy, and recruit the Hermes and Demeter kids to be on their team.  It’s almost too easy to take the flag away from the Apollo campers and she can’t help but smirk at how overwhelmed that new kid, Will seems when she disarms him in one swift move.  Luke’s the one carrying the flag across the border, but he pats her on the shoulder after the celebration and tells her just how proud of her he is.

62.   But it’s also one of the last conversations the two of them have.  After that Capture the Flag game, Luke starts to pull away more.  There are bags under his eyes that were never there before and he always seems to be deep in conversation with Silena Beauregard whenever he’s walking around camp.  He’s not rude to her.  Whenever he sees her, Luke still smiles and waves, but there’s rarely a time where it’s just the two of them again.

63. Grover leaves a week after the start of the year round term.  Before he left, he’d told Annabeth that this seemed like the perfect chance to redeem himself to get his searcher’s license, so he was looking forward to the assignment.  It wasn’t supposed to be hard.  He was just supposed to go to some New York boarding school, meet this kid, and bring him back to camp safe.  At least he wasn’t having to chase him all across the east coast, he had joked and Annabeth had smiled before hugging him goodbye and tucking a few extra tin cans in his backpack.

64.   With Grover gone, and Clarisse and her navigating the waters of acquaintances again, Annabeth takes the time to make amends with Malcolm.  It doesn’t take much for the two siblings to fall back into their old ways and soon, they’re pouring over old maps and blueprints, trying to design a world all their own.

65.   Hackeysack becomes very popular at camp during this year.  It’s not uncommon for a camper to randomly pull out a little beanbag or ball at dinner, training, or a campfire, and a game to start up.  Because of the fact she’s still always playing pick up games of soccer (and volleyball, but more on that later), Annabeth’s pretty good at the game and gets mad at people when they let it drop.

66.   That’s the year Annabeth has any real contact with her mother.  On her birthday that year, there’s a box on her bed with the Hermes Express logo, her name and a birthday ‘best wishes’ from Athena.  When she opens it, there’s a brand spanking new Yankees cap.  At first, Annabeth thinks it’s an odd gift.  After all, she’s not really that into baseball.  But, when she puts it on, she’s stunned to see her body vanish, and it’s pretty much the coolest birthday present ever.  For the next week, Annabeth constantly wears it, trying to find ways to prank people with it.  She has the Stoll brothers convinced that the third stall in the boys’ bathroom is haunted before Chiron figures it out and makes her stop.

67.   Grover’s gone all of two months when Chiron announces at dinner one night that he must leave as well.  It’s the first time that Annabeth has ever known the centaur to leave camp, and she approaches him after dinner to ask why.  The simple answer is that there’s been a problem with one of the satyrs at one of the schools, and he needs back up.  Annabeth asked if it was Grover, and Chiron’s lack of an answer gave her the same truth that words would have.

68.   The next time he comes back is a week before Christmas, and he takes the group of year round campers up to Olympus for the winter solstice.  It’s the third time Annabeth’s been to Olympus, and each time she’s more blown away by the design of it all.  However, she can’t help but think about different ways she would improve upon it--different statues, a reflecting pool, changes to the style of the Athena temple.  But, this is the first time they’ve been there while the gods are in session.  It’s the first time she meets her mother, who does little to acknowledge Annabeth’s presence, which leaves the young girl anxious and upset.  It makes her wonder whether the Yankees hat wasn’t a mistake and her mother really doesn’t care about her anyway.  It’s Thalia’s birthday, so she doesn’t think much of it when Luke slips away from the group to go off on his own.  After all, she thinks that being alone on a day like today is a pretty good idea too.

69.   Chiron leaves again immediately after the New Year to rejoin Grover in the city.  The satyr didn’t come back to camp over the holidays, thinking it might be better to stay closer to his demigod in case something were to happen.  It’s then that things at camp start getting weird.  The sky seems darker, and the storms--which have always passed around camp--seem to take longer and longer to part.  The sea’s starting to act up, too and the campers start to suspect that something went wrong.  Soon, there’s talk of deadlines and things being stolen, though no one can seem to expand on the details.  They all just seem to be information taken from snippets of dreams.  Once, Annabeth managed to catch Luke in a rare moment where he was alone and asked him what he thought of it all.  He said that it was ridiculous and nothing was stolen.  That it was just Zeus and Poseidon making a show and things would go back to normal soon.  It was strange how he almost seemed happier, after years of pulling away.  But Annabeth didn’t care about the sudden change.  She was just happy to have her Luke back.

70.   It’s a week after the summer session starts that Chiron returned, but Grover was still MIA, which is more than cause for concern normally.  But, Chiron promised that things were okay and that the satyr and his charge would be at camp soon.  At least, he hoped.  There’s a half-hearted joke made on her part about how terrible he is at directions and that maybe they just got side tracked.  But there’s an easy look shared between the two of them, as though they both know that things are about to change.

71.   As though on cue, she has a nightmare about the Great Prophecy that night.  But, she’s not sure whether or not it’s the nightmare or the storm outside that wakes her up.  Technically, it’s not raining in the camp, but they can still hear the wind and the waves going insane outside.  Even though it’s past curfew, Annabeth puts on her Yankees hat and sneaks outside to the Big House.  There, she sees Chiron watching some struggle happening up on the hill, illuminated only by lightning strikes.  She asks for answers that he doesn’t give and she has no choice but to watch the scene on the hill unfold.  Someone goes down and there’s a terrible moment where Annabeth is afraid she’s about to witness another half-blood get turned into a tree.  But the tree never comes.  Instead, there’s a boy that comes down the hill, dragging an unconscious Grover with him.  There’s something strange about this boy.  And that is that people don’t meet Percy Jackson.  Percy Jackson happens to people.  Annabeth is the first person in camp to become aware of this fact, and becomes aware of it immediately after his arrival.  Because right after arriving on the porch of the Big House, the kid passes out.  Chiron manages to get Grover onto his back, so Annabeth is left trying to haul an unconscious boy up off the floor, wrap his arms around her neck, and essentially half drag/half carry him on her back into the infirmary.  

72.  When Chiron tells her to keep an eye on the boy and make sure he lives to the next day, Annabeth is pretty sure that it’s actually her punishment for being out after curfew.  She’s up the rest of the night, and the few times she does doze off in the chair next to him, he wakes her up by talking in his sleep.  It becomes a pretty consistent cycle.  She’ll doze, he’ll start talking, she’ll wake up, wipe the drool off his face to keep him from drowning in it (she’ll only recognize the irony later), and wait for him to wake up.  She wants to talk to him before Chiron comes back down in the morning so she can find out if he knows anything about what’s going on.  After all, Annabeth has to hope that this is the kid she’s been waiting for.  The one that’ll get her a ticket out of this place.  Even if he is kind of scrawny and doesn’t look like he’ll amount to much.  It’s the black hair and the lightning bolt that struck as soon as he was over the hill that makes her certain this kid is another child of Zeus.  Besides, he was the one who sired Thalia, and she doubted that any of the other gods were dumb enough to break their pact.

73.  Grover comes to about two hours before Percy does.  Annabeth had just finished spooning ambrosia into Percy’s mouth and was trying to ask him questions, but he seemed entirely too groggy for such a thing.  Besides, by the time he would have actually been able to give her any real information, Chiron had come back down to the infirmary to check on how Percy was coming.  He had brought Argus, who relieved Annabeth from her post and she went off with Grover, who told her the basics of who Percy was.  Together, they walked up the hill to retrieve the Minotaur horn as Grover tried to recollect what had happened the night before.  It was certainly choppy and there were pieces where he couldn’t quite remember what was going on, but he managed to get the gist of all that had happened.  And the idea of the kid, drooling in the infirmary, being smart and skillful enough to destroy the Minotaur with its own horn seemed pretty far fetched.  At the same time though, it kind of reinforced her idea that this kid was going to be a pretty big deal.

74.  Like most other days when a new camper arrives, Annabeth is excused from her activities and stays on the porch until the kid’s ready for a tour.  There is a slight exception in the fact that she’s sent on to get a spot ready for him in the Hermes cabin while Chiron takes him around the first part, which she does not complain about.  It means she gets to see Luke again.  She catches the Hermes cabin at the rock climbing wall, where she tells him all about how she saw Percy coming over the camp border and how she’s pretty sure that he’s the next Zeus kid.  Then again, she said the same thing about Will Solace and about half a dozen other campers, and each time, they were claimed by someone else, so Luke just smiles and nods.  He looks better now, far happier than he seemed to have been in a long time and it automatically puts Annabeth in a better mood.  She hangs out with him for the rest of the activity and grabs a book on the way back, before waiting outside of the Hermes cabin for Chiron and Percy to show up.

75.  After Percy makes the plumbing explode in the one girl’s bathroom, Annabeth refuses to go in there for a solid week.  Instead, she showers and does everything else in the bathroom across camp.  Logically, she knows what happened was because of something Percy did, but the feeling of being doused with toilet water is still too fresh in her mind to be comfortable.

76.  The first night that Percy’s at camp, Chiron mentions that it might be a good idea if she tutors him in Ancient Greek.  Personally, Annabeth can think of about twelve things she’d rather do than teach a newbie how to stumble through Homer, but she agrees anyway.  It’s totally a strategic move.  She figured that by doing something Chiron wanted her to, it’ll convince him she’s not too young for a quest.  And, if this Percy kid gets a quest before her, he might feel like he has to take her along since she spent time tutoring him.

77.  During their tutoring sessions, Annabeth has a hard time whether Percy’s an idiot or if he’s just trying to make her frustrated when he gets stuck reading something.  It took them two days to get through the alphabet, and the next five to get through the first few lines of the Odyssey.  It’s also during these sessions that she tries to teach Percy about the actual stories that happened that inspired some of the Greek myths.  But, since their sessions typically aren’t that long and it’s more important he learn to read Greek, they only get through a handful, and most of them deal more with who the gods are and what they represent than anything else.

78.  When Percy gets claimed, Annabeth supposed that it made sense.  Granted, she was hoping for a Zeus kid, because she had gotten on so well with Thalia.  But, the fact that Percy started irritating her from the moment he showed up was some underlying animosity because of who their parents were.  As she knelt with the rest of the campers, there was a comical mental image that flashed through her mind of Poseidon staring smugly at Athena like, ‘check out your daughter bowing before my son,’ but it was one that Annabeth really didn’t appreciate all that much.

79.  She tries to bribe Malcolm to take over Percy’s Ancient Greek lessons, but he seems just as put off by the idea of working with a Poseidon kid as she does.  Whenever she has the chance, she tries to make sure that she picks stories that she feels shows Percy’s dad in a not so flattering light.  Somehow, it makes her feel better.  Those days don’t last long though before Percy’s being granted a quest and Annabeth pretty much invites herself along.  After all, if Percy is the kid that’s supposed to help her make her mark on the world, she can’t let him get killed so soon after coming to camp.

80.  Between Grover’s snoring and Percy talking in his sleep, there were very few nights that Annabeth had a decent night’s sleep.  There are some nights when she stays up well after her watch has ended and that’s when she teaches Percy about the constellations, the way Luke once taught her when they were first on the run.  It’s during these nights that Annabeth starts to think that maybe the son of Poseidon isn’t completely hopeless, and it’s with horror that she realizes she actually has a crush on the idiot.  She chalks it up to the fact that it’s nostalgia and she’s projecting her feelings for Luke onto him and she becomes a little snarkier for the next several days.

81.  It’s only after that they work together--without Grover pulling their teeth to get them to cooperate--on the Thrill Ride-o-Love that Annabeth realizes for the first time what a good team the two of them make.  And it’s then she thinks that maybe her mother was wrong for holding a grudge for so long.  So, she decides to become his friend.

82.  When they make it to the Underworld, Annabeth wonders how many people down here that she knows, and whether or not any of them would recognize her.  There have been old campers and former counselors, her cousins, her aunt, and she half wonders if Thalia’s spirit might be roaming around as well.  But, they don’t have time to really “explore,” since they do need to get in, get the bolt, get Percy’s mom, and get out.

83.  There are other, little things that make Annabeth decide that going home after summer session is a good idea.  She realizes that maybe her mother held grudges too long and didn’t want to face the same fate.  Seeing Cerberus makes her miss the dog that she used to have when she lived with her dad and, even though he ran away years before, it still brings back good memories of days before Emily or Matthew and Bobby.  When she gets back to camp, Annabeth has a letter waiting for her from her dad.  Apparently, Chiron had written to him to tell Frederick where exactly his daughter was headed should anything go wrong.  The letter invites her back to try one last time living with him and it includes another apology and the promise to do better.  She writes him back at the end of July, after Grover’s left for his quest and the counselors are picking out the bead designs, telling him to get her room ready for her return.

84.  When people tell her that it’s Luke’s fault that Percy was stung by the pit scorpion, she doesn’t want to believe them.  Annabeth tells them that it has to have been some mistake and that he would never do anything that cruel.  But, after searching the camp in an attempt to find Luke and explain what’s going on, Annabeth has to accept that people were telling her the truth about him.  That he was the reason that Percy was put back into the infirmary.  And while she’s mad at Luke for hurting her new friend, part of Annabeth still wants to find out why he did what he did and how she can fix it.  Because the Luke she knew would never do that.  There’s a brief moment where she considers running away and going off to find him and join him.  But then, Percy wakes up and Annabeth realizes that Luke’s not the only person she has in her life anymore.

85.  School proves to be complicated, to say the least.  There are kids that she knew from the last time she lived with her dad in her classes, and it’s hard explaining where exactly she went for the last few years.  The ones who have younger siblings the same age as Matthew and Bobby are even harder to convince that she just went to live “with her mom’s family” for awhile.  Her grades are great, but Annabeth kept getting kicked out of class for correcting her teachers.  For the most part, life with her dad, brothers, and step mom is fine.  They still argue, but it’s not as bad, and Annabeth firmly believes that there is some progress made.  Still, civilian life is exhausting in a different way than her demigod one and finding new excuses to get out of classes and soccer practice to fight a monster becomes increasingly more difficult.  She’s glad when the school year ends and she’s able to go back to New York.

86.  Her oath to Chiron when she swore on the River Styx to protect Percy is still binding.

87.  It took Luke poisoning Thalia’s tree for Annabeth to finally admit that something might be wrong with Luke.  If he could hurt the one other person in their family without a second thought, then he couldn’t be the same person she knew.  She spends the next week willing to tear him limb from limb for finally killing Thalia and threatening their home and she doesn’t believe him for a second when he mentions that Thalia would have been on his side.  

88.  Her family used to spend a week during the summer at Virginia Beach.  Annabeth’s step mother found that the beaches in North and South Carolina were quieter and had more to do.  But, the air force base near the beach was what kept drawing Frederick back year after year.  There were so many things about the aviation history of Virginia, so it was hard for him to leave that particular place.

89.  When they reach Circe’s island, Annabeth almost hates to admit that she really likes the way the makeover makes her look.  After all, she spent years growing up with girls that were just drop dead gorgeous.  Being a normal thirteen year old definitely comes with self-esteem issues to begin with.  Being a thirteen year old who grew up watching guys fawn all over daughters of the other cabins gives one a whole other batch of insecurities.  On the island, her typically knotted, curly hair is finally tamed into a braid, the makeup she has on is just enough to make her features stand out, and the dress is surprisingly comfortable and well fitted.  It’s one of the few times in her life that Annabeth has felt truly beautiful.  And, even though the rational part of her knows that those things shouldn’t matter, she still wants that.

90.  The summer that they do go to get the fleece feels more like a transitional time in Annabeth’s life than any she’s ever known.  The people who are thrown together on the quest, both new and old friends from Annabeth’s life almost seems like a shift.  But that’s always how her life has seemed: constantly changing, constantly evolving, never permanent.  So, when Thalia comes back and looks exactly the same, it’s enough to bring tears to Annabeth’s eyes.  Part of it is from the sheer joy of having someone so special back in her life.  But, when the one person who thought would never let her down has turned her back on her, and the people she had sworn would be her enemies turn out to be her closest friends, it’s nice that Thalia’s still the same.

91.  Even though Thalia’s a year older than Annabeth when she comes back, she manipulates the mist so they put the two of them in nearly all the same classes.  Nearly because Thalia threatened to stab herself in the eye if she took the 3-D Architectural Design course Annabeth was so excited about.  With the two of them rooming together and being in (almost) all the same classes, it just almost becomes second nature for one of them to start talking and the other one to finish that person’s sentence.  They become so in sync that it’s almost frightening, especially for the other students.  Especially when they decide to pull some elaborate prank on their classmates or start up a new game among all the students.  Once, they started up an intense game of assassin, where students were constantly on a mission to “kill” each other, taking various bandanas away from their victims.  Thalia and Annabeth allied immediately, designing elaborate plans to “off” their classmates using various strategic plans Annabeth had learned during her time at camp.  They finally got detention for it when both girls ran a teacher over in the hall in pursuit of their victim.  Thankfully, due to her power to manipulate the mist, Thalia got them out of it.  She just didn’t want to do it, and Annabeth had soccer practice that her coach would kill her if she missed.  Once a month, their school holds a dance and Annabeth lives for these evenings.  She’s likes being able to put on a little bit of makeup and spend the night just dancing with Thalia and her other friends at school.

92.  Annabeth reaches out to the Hunters of Artemis the day after her dad announces he’s moving to San Francisco.  He promises that there’s room for her, and that he’ll send her on a plane to camp every summer.  But that’s not the point.  California is a place where Greek demigods just aren’t supposed to go.  Sure, the Underworld’s down there, and Mount Tam, but Chiron always acted as though there was another reason Greeks shouldn’t be there.  Later, she’ll learn about Camp Jupiter, and think that’s a ridiculous secret and reason to stay away from California.  But, the fact that her dad is willing to uproot the Chase family on a whim for a book, right when Annabeth is starting to feel at home in Virginia again, means that that’s not the permanent place she expected.  At least with the Hunters of Artemis, there’s permanence in immortality.  Permanence in companionship.  And then the fact that the one guy Annabeth’s convinced herself she will ever love has gone rogue and tried to kill their mutual best friend definitely doesn’t help.

93.  Thalia met the Hunters after she joined up with Luke, but before they found Annabeth.  She hadn’t gotten along with Zoe then.  So, naturally, Thalia spent most of her time talking about the Hunters--when she would talk about the Hunters--dissing them and their lieutenant.  During her time at camp, Annabeth finally comes in contact with this infamous band of girls and thinks they’re okay.  They only meet twice, but she can definitely see the appeal of staying young and adventuring forever.

94.  It never occurs to her what might happen when she jumps on that manticore’s back.  Sure, she figures she’ll fall to her death, but it’s worth it.  She’ll have saved her friends and two new demigods, and go out a hero.  It’s what Annabeth has been convinced will happen since she was seven.  She never expects to end up in San Francisco.  She hasn’t been to her dad’s new house yet, and Annabeth can’t help but wonder how far it is away from her new prison.  But it’s not just a prison.  The instant she sees Luke, suffering under the weight of the sky, all her former resentment of him completely breaks.  He looks so scared and so much like the Luke she knew and loved, and there’s not even a second thought as she takes the sky from him.

95.  Every moment is pure agony, but it’s Luke that keeps her going.  He feeds her ambrosia when the others aren’t looking.  And, when they do catch him once, he says that Annabeth has to keep her strength up in order to catch their real target.  She figures he means Thalia, and Annabeth seriously considers letting the sky crush her--crush all of them.  It’d end her agony, as well as the idiots up on the mountain with her.  But, no doubt it would keep falling and crush the rest of the world with it.  So, she eats the ambrosia, and even though the hairs on her forearms end up getting singed off, it keeps her going long enough before Artemis gets there and takes it.

96.  Her execution is scheduled for the winter solstice, and Annabeth finds it strangely ironic.  That was when Luke first stole the bolt and their whole world shifted, and it seems fitting for her life to end that same day as well.  Luke spends some evenings talking to her, trying to convince her that he’s doing the right thing, and for her to join him.  He speaks of the old days, and how Thalia will decide to join him once she arrives.  She ends up spitting on him, which only makes him madder and he has her death pushed up a day.  He does offer her the chance to repent and join Kronos--join him.  But Annabeth can tell that, even before he’s possessed, that he’s not her Luke anymore.  He’s under the influence of a Titan and it’s only through defeating Kronos that she might be able to save Luke.

97.  The first time Annabeth sees her dad’s Sopwith Camel is when he comes in, shooting up the place with his bronze bullets.  If he wasn’t swooping in to save their life, she’s pretty sure he would be winning the ‘Dorkiest Dad’ award for his latest purchase.

98.  Annabeth realizes that she’s starting to feel more than just a crush towards Percy when he shows up with Thalia and Zoe on Mt. Tam.  After all, it’s kind of hard to deny that someone’s pretty incredible when they travel cross country to save you from being pinned underneath the sky.  Still, she thinks it’s the stupidest thing he’s ever done, traveling that far without her and risking his life on some half-brained quest.  When she would see the gray streak in his hair though, she always felt bad.  He held up the sky for her, and he suffered because of her, and that gray in their hair was a constant reminder of that.  Annabeth was glad when it finally grew out.

99.  Olympic parties hold nothing to the dances her boarding school held.  There’s constant dancing and the minor gods are much better on their feet than any of the other guys at her school.  If she had had it her way, the party would have gone on a week longer so Annabeth could have danced with all of them.  The food also proves to be a step above the stale cookies and fruit punch, but that seems to be a given.  When Percy finally asks her to dance--without Annabeth having to punch him first--she hears the same song he does: sad and slow, but a little hopeful.

100.  Two things happen when Annabeth goes back to stay with her dad instead of going back to New York.  First, her brothers get copies of every single Harry Potter movie up to that point.  One day (and night) while she’s babysitting them, the three of them marathon the first four.  It was the first time Annabeth had ever seen them--being at camp does have its disadvantages--and she instantly is drawn to the Draco character.  The blonde hair, blue eyes, and the boy who wants so desperately to win the approval of his father reminds her so much of another boy that she knows.  One that’s about to lose the very essence of who he is.  The second thing that happens is around the first few weeks of March.  She’s home alone, working on some homework, while her dad and Emily are at one of Matthew and Bobby’s basketball games.  A knock on the door and Luke’s there.  Scared and unsure, and pleading with her to come with him.  She wants to believe him that something’s wrong, that together they can fight it, but when she suggests asking for help, he shuts down and shuts her out.  Annabeth begged him to come in, to let her call Chiron because it couldn’t be too late, but she refused to go with him.  The memories of what happened at Christmas were still too fresh for her to trust him like that again, and she thinks that he can sense it.  Thinks that that might be part of the reason he ends up telling her to kill him then.  But she can’t do it.  Because, no matter what, he’s still Luke.  He’s still the boy who saved her all those years ago and who she’s still in love with and the thought of him dying breaks her heart.  It’s this day that will forever be one of Annabeth’s biggest ‘what ifs.’  What if she had gone with him?  What if she had killed him then?  What if he had agreed to come inside?  What if she had found another way to save him?  What if he was still around?  What if...?

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on TRH Book 1, Chapter 3

• I'm hoping that if I have this chapter out early enough (doubtful, because compiling and organizing my screenshots takes time, and my drafts often don't save which means there are times I will have to replicate whole paragraphs from scratch. But fingers crossed!), I might try and do revisits of the first book. I did four of those chapters last year, and I think now - when we're looking at some of the stories told to us in Book 1 from a new lens - is a good time to explore that first book again.

• I hope the read more issue is resolved by now. It made posting quite hard the last time. In the meantime these are the tags you can block: #long post, #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs.

• Thanks a lot to @pixieferry for her Hana playthrough, @thefirstcourtesan for her Drake playthrough screenshots and the Abhirio YouTube channel for the Maxwell playthrough screenshots. Not much of those are up, because of lack of space to put up the pictures and the fact that this particular chapter wasn't specifically LI centric.

• Title: Your Kingdom Awaits.

Alternative Title: Tell Me What's Gestating in My Womb Today, Cordonia! A Cordonian Ruby? An Autumn Glory? A Granny Smith?

• Three chapters in and I'm getting more and more baffled by this story by the day. There's stuff I like. Some of the characters I still love. I have fun looking at the little hints, the bits of symbolism, the callbacks. I love theorizing what we'll be doing next! But all of this needs to be glued together by a coherent storyline and this just isn't it.

• Even if we push aside the gross inequalities in balance (re: character development), there's still so much that just doesn't make sense. Why is there so much rush. Why is everyone in this country (and outside) so invasive and entitled over this one noble's child? Why are we doing such insane scales of prep over a process that is in itself is so unpredictable? Why am I learning about Cordonia's allies/potential enemies in such a vague and shoddy fashion? And most of all what kind of bullshit Royal Council is this???

• But I'll elaborate on all those questions later. For now let's move on to the chapter!

• If you didn't buy the corgi in Book 2, they ask you if you'd like to buy it now at the beginning of the chapter. Possibly that may affect the entry of the second corgi in some way? Idk. 

• Esther, the Queen of Cordonia is also still the queen of winging it. You'd think they'd have planned a look for her (esp given the amount of time they could spend on the train) and gotten her ready by the time they reached there, not scrambled around for an outfit the minute they reached Valtoria.

• The LI tells the MC that they're fixed an appointment with the best obstetrician they could find, and we will be going there to ask our preliminary questions plus get a check up. I was wondering if in Hana's case they would be going to a fertility specialist instead.

• In any case, Bertrand volunteers to help us with an outfit for the last time in a short while, because he's traveling to Texas to prepare for their wedding. (we're going there too, but later. I'm not looking forward to another round of Savannah-worship - possibly with an added side of Bianca-worship - no thank you).

• Bianca's ranch is called the Walker Ranch, after Jackson's last name. Why Jackson's?

• Our OOTD!

Electric blue with a gold belt and a black and white border on the neckline, accessorized with a necklace (I think it's pearls set in gold?) and a brooch pin in the shape of a crown.

I kinda like this one and knowing the way this team operates when it comes to outfits most of the time, I'm pretty sure the colour scheme was chosen on purpose. With this outfit, the MC is presenting herself in the national colours, with a tiny signifier of what her future role might be. Either as Queen or as mother of the future heir to the Crown. This is an outfit that would send a message during Liam's announcement, whether she is (symbolically) wearing that crown or not.

• I'm obviously not very comfortable with the implications that would go with that outfit (esp if she is not the Queen), but I can't deny it does its job.

• The MC can opt to go for either being poised, acting like a diva or being very casual in her approach. Whatever she does the crowd pretty much worships her.

•

So everyone except Liam has someone (media, a fan, common people) approaching them as a way of showing how famous and revered the entire group has become in Cordonia. Liam doesn't need one coz he's anyway getting his moment with his big speech in front of the Valtoria manor.

Drake - Donnie Brine from the CBC speaks to Drake, positioning him as a man of the masses, the person that the Cordonian people see as their representative. Drake is woefully unprepared and freezes, blurting out that "things are great" which probably might end up becoming a meme on Cordonian internet later. Random Cordonian Woman from Applewood saves him by confirming this statement even though her trees have yet to grow and the tax problems are pretty much making her life "not great".

Maxwell - Where are Jiro and Camellia from Applewood? I like little Marco and Valerie but I hope they're not the only kids PB is going to be showing every time they need to show children. Marco approaches Maxwell and the MC both to sign his copy of Maxwell's book, and Maxwell takes care to do a dramatic signature that will not "obscure the picture of his face". I'm giggling at that image.

Hana - Valerie approaches Hana with a handmade flower necklace, presumably with a pattern made from "the Lee family crest". Now either Lorelai's family in Cordonia have the same surname as Xinghai, or Xinghai got himself a house crest for some reason. Either way, to toss out a detail like that so casually (a family crest is something that passes down through generations, esp in noble families) without even thinking of the logistics of it...(when an entire book of yours has been dedicated to sigils and crests) is pretty lazy.

BUT. In good news this means that my longtime speculation that Hana's mother's house had flowers as part of their court of arms is correct! (I was also right about a couple other things, like Maxwell's ancestors and Liam's mother being alive when Olivia was brought to the palace. YAY! 😁)

• We now move on to Liam's public announcement. Which sounds kinda weird whichever way you look at it. A married Liam announces that he and his wife are on a mission to enjoy babymaking and a single Liam announces this:

(Screenshots from a Hana playthrough by @pixieferry)

I will translate what both Liams are saying into Cordonian:

Married Liam: We don't have an apple cinnamon bun in the oven yet, but we're definitely having fun kneading that dough nudge nudge wink wink.

Single Liam: I'm neither making apple buns nor kneading dough. I'll leave that to my friends the bun-making experts here. I'm just gonna park my butt outside the oven door along with the rest of Cordonia.

Sounds weird? You're welcome. It was meant to sound weird.

• Esther finally reunites with her corgi Joy! I wonder if at some point she'll meet up with her horse Celestia and red pandas Hansel and Gretel too xD

• Mara tells me safety checks have been done, but...it's Mara saying that, so I'm not sure I'm quite convinced. The alternative is Bastien, so...we're kinda screwed I guess.

• The group then discusses the future foetus, and Liam takes this opportunity to hint at their childhood history. You know what that means? DIAMOND SCENE!!

•

(Screenshots for Asian Liam from my playthrough, Black Liam from @pixieferry and White Liam from @thefirstcourtesan)

LOOK AT THE WEE LITTLE KIDDIES AND LIAM'S MOM OMG AAAAAA.

As far as I can tell, among the kids the sprites for all three Liams and Drake are very much new, and the rest come from variations and changes to different faces. Maxwell's face is a copy of Simon from THoBM (only the mouth is slightly different), Hana's has a lot of similarities to young Kenna in TCaTF, but with pigtails instead of tiny buns. Olivia's is a little harder to place but I think there are plenty similarities between hers and RoE Camellia's face. For Queen Eleanor they used Young Mary's (MC's mother) sprite from D&D in accordance to whichever Liam you chose. Perhaps the only Mary sprite not used here would be the brown/Indian one, because Liam's ethnicities mainly feature White, Black and Asian. She even wears Mary's opera outfit (that incidentally Mary also ended up wearing to her wedding lol).

• Somehow they forgot that Maxwell was supposed to be a cute chubby little hippo who was loved by his mother.

• I'd like for Black Liam to grow more hair on his head because the curls on his younger self are lovely 😍

• Since most of the childhood tales revolve around the experience of growing up in the palace, this build up to the diamond scene begins with the MC asking questions about each of the boys (Liam, Drake, Maxwell).

- Little Liam and His Crown: Liam claims he only wore those during state occasions, but Maxwell (who admittedly didn't see Liam as much as Drake did but saw him often nonetheless) saw him practically sleep in the thing, and Drake has pictures to prove it lol.

- Grumpy Drake: Maxwell and Liam agree on Drake becoming grumpier as he grew older, but disagree on what metaphors to use to describe it. Maxwell favours "scratchy bark on a secretly loveable tree", and Liam claims he is "whiskey maturing in its barrell". ("oh", I want to ask Drake, "so that's what they call 'old grain mash' these days?" 🤣 This is my revenge for him referring to wine as old grape juice back in Book 2). No prizes for guessing which metaphor Drake liked better.

- Banning Maxwell from Palace Rooms: Maxwell's lucky he has a king for a friend because apparently before Liam jokingly and unwisely decided to give the man a royal pardon Maxwell was banned from all the good rooms 😅

• Hana clearly hasn't lost her touch when it comes to epic savagery. "I imagined you guys like the Three Musketeers, only...less French". 😅😅

• This diamond scene is split into three parts. You have the fun 'adventures' of the little boys (and later Olivia) at the palace, split in between by a slightly more sombre tale of little Hana's loneliness. The narrative voice in all three is very much that of a child, and focuses on Liam's and Hana's imaginations, so as to make their childhood stories more real to us while still providing us background information about the country's recent history (the "recent history" bit doesn't apply to Hana, though, since she is in China at the time).

- Pirate Adventures at The Palace Courtyard: Liam, Drake and Maxwell pretend to be pirate kings, battling rivals on the palace courtyard. After rescuing Maxwell from being stuck on the branches of a tree, the trio decide to continue their adventures on the gardens that are his mother's brainchild, but are stopped by a palace guard. Liam is briefly saddened by this, but is comforted by Drake and Maxwell. The boys then decide to continue playing in the palace kitchens. This scene begins by focusing on the antics of the little ones, but is really about the changed atmosphere in the palace that the boys themselves were too young to notice at the time.

(We also find out which place in TCaTF the Beaumonts originated from, since young Maxwell refers to himself as a pirate from Panrion in both scenes that he is in *cue Lizzy looking very very smug because I've been saying the Beaumonts were from Panrion/someplace in Ebrimel since way back in Book 2*)

The MC has options to respond to this tale (either about whether they were always this naughty, or about the increased security in the palace). In response to her question about the three of them, the boys tell us that Liam was known for being a free spirit and would skip many diplomacy meetings before he even met the other two (again, Constantine, Liam was A CHILD). If you ask the question they want you to be asking, however, about the increased security in the palace, Drake and Maxwell will tell you the security wasn't as strict earlier, and Liam will explain that the royal family had recently received threats at the time, and his parents were a lot more tense and on-edge than usual. Either way, you either get to know a bit about the political atmosphere at the time, or realize that little Liam wasn't the heavily burdened one we met on that first night in New York.

- Pretend-Teatime with a Young Hana: Hana continues on this thread of conversation by focusing on the bond between the boys, commenting on how she never grew up with that kind of experience. To which Drake and Maxwell have these reactions:

@Drake, pls fall on a cactus.

@Maxwell. Honey. She said this to you yesterday. She's probably said this more than once. You've seen her parents!! Wtf kind of friend are you if you can't even take what she said seriously the first time?

@Hana pls get yourself better friends 😭

Like @callmetippytumbles said in her response to this scene, I have no patience for this kind of selective stupidity.

So Hana's scene is technically a call-back to something she once told the MC back in Book 1 Chapter 6, when they were on their way to the post-Derby tea party with Queen Regina. At the time, Hana spoke of her parents not allowing her toys because they thought them frivolous, and how she had to make do with whatever was lying around instead. We actually see this happen in reality here. We see her PoV of what her inanimate objects do, we see her practicing court etiquette on these objects with her tea set, and we see her leave space for her asshole mother even though Lorelai doesn't deserve that much respect or consideration. There is a lot to unpack in this scene and I want to do that in my General Thoughts section later on...but for now I'll just say that it broke my heart, and not just in an "oh poor Hana" way.

- The Attack from Lythikos: I love this sequence too, not only because it shows us Olivia, a younger Constantine and Liam's mother Eleanor, but because the narrative framing in itself alludes to what happened between Lythikos and the Capitol earlier through the pirate story. Liam and Olivia still speak in the language of their story, but the sequence actually plays out what happens in their real lives. Olivia attacks the pirates, but is left desolate, sword broken, at the end of it (just like her parents tried to, and died in the process - leaving an innocent Olivia alone without support). Liam offers her terms that would give her safety and protection, and in return, she asks to be Pirate Queen and for Drake's sword - which he reluctantly gives.

Constantine mistrusts Olivia and attempts to limit her natural abilities and instincts, but it is Liam's empathy, support and validation of her pain, that eventually makes her the steadfast ally that she becomes as an adult - not Constantine's paranoia. Had Liam followed Constantine's lead, the chances of Olivia falling into the trap of subscribing to her aunt's beliefs would have been much much higher, and Constantine would have found himself at the receiving end of a self-fulfilling prophecy. The narrative may also be implying how deep Eleanor's own impact on her son must be, long after her death, since the narrative frames him as adopting her way of dealing with situations often.

In any case the narrative allows us to see the children as they were before their individual tragedies changed them (except in Olivia's and Hana's cases - where they were still struggling to survive the situations they were in), and allows us to see what shaped them into the adults they are today.

The MC then gets to ask one of two questions: either why Constantine treated Olivia so badly, or about the arguments his parents were having. We learn from these that this incident was shortly after Liam became friends with her and his parents brought her to the palace (this references both Liam's conversation about Olivia to the MC in Book 1 Chapter 7, and Lucretia's complaints about Constantine "keeping Olivia hostage" in her diamond scene in Book 3).

• Possibly this may not be the only scene of its kind we will see. Possibly the next few may be Drake-centric, since we may actually meet Bianca in a few chapters. But these scenes may definitely have an impact on dialogue later, just like how learning of the assassination attempt in Drake's Italian Restaurant Scene and Eleanor's death in Liam's Fydelia Balcony Scene in Book 2 are referred to later (if bought) in the hospital scene with Constantine.

• In any case, we leave the past in the past (for now), and move towards Valtoria's throne room. Where we meet Penelope, just back from her first canine fashion show, Kiara who tells us she has everything kept under control (you always do boo 😍) and Madeleine who is all up our uterus.

• She mentions King Bradshaw from Auvernal and his "impossible to control" wife, then mentions a Queen Amalas immediately after without bothering to tell us where this person is from. WTF? At least tell me the name of her goddamn country if she's another person!! You'd just have to say Queen Amalas of ChickenFeetonia and I would understand.

• ...you're telling me the Queen of this country (in my playthrough) has barely looked at a map of the place she's ruling or checked out who rules what?? You're telling me that the Royal Communications Director is STILL going to give her a gazillion flash cards to read something that she could sum up in five minutes, at the very last minute? Bitch what have you been doing this entire time? Touching up your manicure??

•

@Penelope: No you're not.

@Kiara: STOP ENABLING HER, KIKI, AND GET YOURSELF BETTER FRIENDS.

@Madeleine: Pls fall on a cactus.

• Madeleine hasn't been here for even five minutes and already I've had enough of her entitled ass. "Little apple gestating in your womb"...just...I can't. Ugh. Get your nosy nose out of my oven!!

• Remember how I told you guys about how apple analogies may be used to denote fertility? (mostly because RoE spoke of this apple cutting ceremony and it was a very obvious indicator towards apple metaphors being used to describe pregnancy and childbirth).

• I facepalmed when Kiara agreed with her but she's also probably thinking "well see this is why they call me the smart courtier. I don't have to deal with this shit anymore and now you do" (she isn't wrong).

• WELL HELLO OLIVIA.

• She informs us that we're expected at the solarium. I have a solarium?

• Apparently it was Mara's honeymoon gift to us. More like her "sorry Bastien and I screwed up last book" gift, I'd say.

• So wait where was this roster Liam was speaking about in the last book's epilogue? I see one Cordonian noble and one Englishman who until my wedding wanted to have nothing to do with Cordonia, and who's now bleating "our country, our kingdom, we're under attack" like a panicking patriotic nanny goat.

• Why can I not see Emmeline here, who is clearly the expert on her duchy? (I mean like. Landon is nice, but I'd really like to see more women in this Council too). Also does Kiara's inclusion into the Council cancel out the presence of her father Hakim, who is a seasoned diplomat and might possibly have some really good suggestions for dealing with these foreign powers (and seriously he'd be a better option than Godfrey anyway).

• Now Esther has a suggestion! Let's see what it is...

• A royal ball, apparently. Which...given the company, I'm sure it probably would be appropriate but I'm pretty sure we'll need to have more than that in place. I'm pretty sure the people in this council should either be finding out whether the person making these suggestions knows anything about these issues or whether she is simply talking out of her ass. This was a problem last book as well. The MC rarely feels the need on her own to explore these situations more, is okay with just learning things last minute and rolling with it and has the same solution to everything. It's either tours or balls but very little actual exploration of the situation. (I mean there is even a point where she barely shows any empathy at Portavira - even though they're still reeling from a bunch of natural calamities - and thinks it's appropriate to tell them to come for her wedding anyway. No wonder Liam panicked and started giving her diplomacy lessons, stat!) I'd actually take the MC seriously if she were doing her research and her suggestions weren't so shallow and one-note.

• Hana is grinning and giving justifications like this suggestion makes sense. STOP. ENABLING. HER. HANA.

• I especially want to know what Liam's experiences with these dignitaries have been. Both last chapter and this one, I'm seeing him in a position where he is defiant and digging his heels into whatever ideas he is having, but I don't know the context yet and would like to make sense of that. From whatever I've read so far...Liam took the year following Leo's abdication to familiarize himself with taking the front seat in negotiations, and probably may have been familiar with this kind of situation and the kind of people involved even before he became Crown Prince. It makes me wonder how difficult negotiating with them has been, and I want to see why Liam is so done with these people, so fed up. We're missing some context here and I think learning at least a little more than these scraps would have been better for everyone.

• I like that they remember Kiara as the only one outside of the charmed six to get a seat in this council (Kiki deserves the best). I also liked how succintly she summed up Drake and Hana's points about what the heightened taxes are doing to the people as "a reminder that we're not just here for ourselves".

• I find the entire idea of Drake Walker being the sole commoner representative in the Council laughable, especially in a narrative where every other commoner barely has a face, hardly has a name, and almost never has a voice. A man who has spent a huge chunk of his life in a palace, and who I've hardly seen even interacting with a commoner in the story...I'm expected to believe he will have great insights on commoner issues?? Even in this meeting, it's Hana who does a better job explaining this situation (she's the one highlighting the tax issues) than he does. Then again this Council also somehow gave a seat to Duke Karlington - a man who literally never had Cordonia's best interests in mind last book, and who only ended up attending our wedding because we had to be brought in as family counselors to settle HIS family disputes (I mean lol Godfrey how can you call this wedding a disaster when it caused you to magically become so "patriotic"!)

For God's sake, I want to see other commoners on this council. I want people who are actually living these experiences highlighting their issues. This is an issue I have with the MC too. She started out a commoner herself a waitress who wouldn't even flinch at the sight of rats in a dumpster. For someone of that background and who has possibly lived under the worse circumstances than some Cordinians themselves, you'd think that she'd have questions and show interest in how the people who aren't owning lands and are regular individuals on the street live their lives, and whether things are okay for them. But she's so immersed in the world of nobility that she rarely ever even tries to come out.

• Before Liam takes into account everyone's points and comes to a conclusion, the MC has the opportunity to give them her opinion. She can either say that we can't trust anyone, which Godfrey agrees with, or that an alliance would be good for Cordonia, which Godfrey views as naive, OR (and I didn't expect to like this response but I actually do) that she's a waitress from the States, and wouldn't know all that much about this situation. To which there isn't much of a reaction as such, but that's kind of what seems different about this book compared to the others.

• Once the meeting is wrapped up, our LI and Maxwell/Hana whisper in a corner about a surprise they have in store, and take us upstairs to show us what it is. If you're marrying any of the other three, Maxwell is the one who has arranged and picked out themes and colour schemes for the nursery. If you're married to Maxwell, Hana takes over this role.

• Ooooh. New (I think!) baby music! Nice. Very lullaby-like.

• Every design has these basic components:

a crib with a pillow (which I think will be updated later)

a couch nearby, likely for comfort when the mother wants to breastfeed (the updated versions seem to have a footrest)

a table with a lamp

three empty frames (also to be updated. I'm guessing for one of those "my first hand/foot impression" kind of thing and maybe even photoshoots etc)

a ceiling lamp/chandelier

a hook, also on the ceiling.

The two updated versions have footrests, updated lamps and ceiling decorations, additional carpet and customized designs (except for the crib and the pictures and the hook, which I think will be updated later). The Royal Glam theme is all reds and golds, very luxurious and very Valtoria. The Fairytale Forest theme has more whimsy, with bears, foxes, leaves, flowers and apples on the wallpaper, wood paneling, a beautiful golden lamp. Very pretty. Both seem to reference the MC's journey in TRR: her being either a Royal and the closest thing to one, and her journey being very fairytale-like (remember, the same logic was used for Hana's "something blue" gift for the MC's - where she views her as Cinderella).

• Only problem is...who exactly buys a nursery before they have a baby! Especially considering how unpredictable pregnancy and childbirth can be.

• We now meet Dr Ramirez for an appointment. I'm not sure about her suggestion that prenatal vitamins etc they will deal with after she has conceived. I know a number of people who did pre-pregnancy appointments and vitamins and folic acid were on the top of the list of things they'd start a routine with.

• As expected, all the appointments go roughly the same, with the usual answers to the usual questions (one about sushi, another about morning sickness and a last one about potential complications). The MC and LI are in the clear, and can start preparing - but apparently shouldn't stress. LMAO. Thank you doctor, I'm sure that will be easy to do in this country 😂

• Hana's goes differently, and it's clear this doctor's visit was primarily written to address her situation with the MC. The tests go differently, the suggestions given to them are different, the questions the MC asks (one about choosing donors, when they should start, and who should carry the child). The bombshell that immediately follows this is:

Wow. Seriously. Wow. You couldn't find a more temporary reason for why the MC has to be the one conceiving? It has to be something that would make her overall ability to conceive almost impossible?? (and this we find after one test? No follow ups?) I recall someone putting up/reblogging these screenshots with a caption about how the narrative pretty much took Hana's entire ability to conceive from her, and it's so true - and so disturbing when you place it in the context of how they've dealt with her issues so far (more on this later).

• In Hana's playthrough, she struggles with implications of this news, but constantly tries to veer the focus back to "well at least one of us can is able to have this baby". Twice, she is shown moving away from her pain to ask about the other possibilities for the MC.

• Anyway...we now move to the next morning, when the couple wake up to bad news - and it's concerning the pictures taken during their honeymoon. Given that Maxwell/Hana is holding a magazine when they tell the MC they found out who was responsible...I wonder if it's one of our news outlets. Or whether it's a foreign media rep.

• So I guess this complicates things at our Ball, since we're already on thin ice and this news would have spread to those other dignitaries as well. So we're going to have to deal with whatever implications come with those pictures (perhaps a spin on the royal gang having fun while Cordonia is in a national crisis? Who knows. It would be hypocritical of Cordonians and people from other neighbouring countries to judge the couple over the babymaking that they themselves were enforcing on these two!)

• In any case...royal ball this week. And in the universe of PB's stories that usually means some shit will go down.

General Thoughts and Observations:

• The funny thing about the MC's responses now is that her heightened position now seems to allow her to get away with a lot more than she used to. Now if she gives a joke response, the media and people laugh with her rather than at her. If she is a diva, the crowd will lap it up. I'm guessing what the book is trying to imply is that these are the people she has won over and doesn't exactly need to worry about, and now the ones she will have to convince are from other, more powerful countries - ready to back Cordonia into a corner anytime.

• As you can tell by now, I absolutely loved the childhood sequences. They sounded like children, most of the narrative lines up with what was already said in the previous series, and there were some interesting narrative devices used here.

• I think the third sequence especially drives home the point about what Liam did right, even as a young boy, and what Constantine refusing to look past Olivia's lineage to see her as an individual could have cost him. Constantine's ruthlessness and lack of genuine care for his bonds/friendships (eg. Hakim) had him in a position where he was unable to relate to anyone beyond his own tiny bubble (even his own wife Regina was taking countermeasures to make the best of his horrid plan), and had him make decisions that did more harm than good. For instance, take what he did to the MC, for no fault of her own other than that he didn't think she'd be a good Queen. Not only was what he did utterly disgusting, but it also would have made his own family a subject of shame in the country (which is why Constantine practically begs her never to expose him, because then Liam would be paying the price). Imagine what would have happened if Constantine didn't agree with Liam and perhaps Eleanor, never brought Olivia to the palace, and Liam had never shown her his constant support. Liam's genuine empathy in this case pretty much ensured the safety of his own line.

• I also love the implications of that sequence. Constantine is so wrapped up in his fear that he tries to break what Olivia considers most precious (Zenobia the sword in this case, but this could allude to her parents' deaths and later, her possible marriage to Liam at his Coronation). Liam attempts to fill that gap by taking her in, caring for her, and giving her the tools to continue being the Lythikos fighter she has always been.

• There are a few TCaTF references in the palace scenes: Maxwell mentions Panrion twice, and Olivia calls her sword "Zenobia" in honour of her historical hero (she still speaks of Zenobia with something akin to worship during the Winter Festival in Lythikos).

• Olivia's dress is also modelled on Zenobia's, with the same colour and bodice embroidery. In fact most of the clothes are very similar to their adult garments: Drake still wears denim, Maxwell favours dark colours (still should have been chubby though), Liam's clothes are similar to his casual wear minus the ascot, and Hana wears pink, with flower designs on the skirt.

• What I like most are the narrative voices for both Liam and Hana, who are the ones narrating these stories, and how rooted in their imaginations the scenes themselves sound. But there are significant, heartbreaking differences in how we see their imaginations play out:

Here are a few samples of narration I've managed to save from Liam's PoV. Notice how Liam and his friends are so into their little game that they find adventure in everything? Notice the language they use to describe themselves and what they are doing? Once-defiant topiaries shaking in fear at their antics. "Liberating" chocolate tarts. "Conquering" the upper floors. These boys are playing out their dreams and showing us the kind of men they would want to be. The heroes. The victors. The ones everyone looks at with awe and reverence.

This is also not a story Liam is creating alone. Drake and Maxwell happily join in, sink into their characters and display their heroics alongside him. Olivia also joins in and holds her own, and when Liam's father tries to break her spirit, Olivia shows Liam her trust and faith in him by using the language of the game.

On the other hand, here is what the narration technique in Hana's tea scene looks like:

There is a lot to unpack here. A lot. There is perhaps more in this one scene of Hana's than there is in all of Book 3, where she was pretty much pushed to the sidelines.

We were told in Book 1 that Hana had to get creative because she wasn't allowed toys. This was told to us in a rather matter-of-fact way, by a person who was normalized in this way of life and who hadn't yet realized just wrong her upbringing was or how damaged her self of self was. It's perhaps easy to forget this bit of dialogue if you were reading it for the first time because at the end of the day it's spoken of without much gravity.

It's when you see it play out in front of you, in little Hana's voice, from an adult Hana who will now view this entire sequence very, very differently, that the tragedy of it all really hits you. At such a young age she is forced to make do with the little she has: the little she has in terms of things to play with, the little she has in terms of relationships. What the MC says after that sequence is half-right, it's sweet how Hana used her imagination in spite of her parents' rules and strict lifestyle. But what that misses is the burden experiences like that would place on a child in her earliest, more formative years. What stand out to me the most in this sequence are these:

- The most obvious: the use of a 'tea party' to teach herself etiquette and diplomacy. In the present, Hana tells the group that "a lot of what I learned about courtly negotiations, I learned from the tea table". This is the level Hana chooses to focus on after telling her tale, to soften the blow of the story itself.

- The fact that despite her mother's treatment of her, Hana still leaves space for Lorelai. Still wants to believe the best of her, still wants her involved in her life. Lorelai denies her her support and comfort, which is the initial layer to her injustices against Hana. In a lot of ways, even now - Hana is still leaving space for Lorelai, giving her chances to improve, trying to educate her on respecting her boundaries better. It's a long, exhausting process, and Lorelai doesn't deserve the many chances Hana keeps giving her, but Hana is also a person who struggles to completely cut off from the people in her life, controlling and emotionally abusive though they may be.

- At the end of the day, the objects she is giving a life and a personality to, are inanimate objects used for other purposes. Not toys, not real friends. Every last one of them. Miss Doily is kind and caring, Princess Sinckerdoodle is jealous and gives a damn about etiquette (I like how you can see allusions there to Olivia and the MC in the Bakery Ball dialogue!). But they're essentially all objects that cannot move the way her narration describes them as moving. Even dolls and toys, inanimate though they are, are made for the express purpose of allowing a child to participate in pretend play. They can be given a voice, their limbs can be moved, the child can easily turn such a space into an active space with the use of her toys. The doily, the napkin, the sock...these are things Hana will have very little actual control over. They will not be able to move the way she wants them to, do the things she wants them to. Everything has to be happening in her head and there is very little outlet for her other than the few things she has at hand (a similar example of of Hana using scraps we will also find in Book 2, where she draws whiskers on a rock to replicate a toy mouse).

Look again, at the differences in the way Liam narrates his tale and how Hana narrates hers. Liam's is also a fantasy, also uses inanimate objects. But supporting him in building this imaginary universe are his friends, and the parents who both don't stop him from immersing himself in this imaginary world, and have a safe normal (for now) life to return to when those "adventures" are over. On the other hand, Hana has to do the heavy work...in every way. She has to imagine not only the background of what is happening, but also what the objects in front of her are like, what they will do, how they will interact with her, how they will interact with each other.

If I had to replicate such a scene into film, the loneliness of this sequence would perhaps hit harder. A large, empty room. A tiny girl. A tea set and several strange items - and none of them actually move. She is sitting alone, in the dim light, in the silence, talking to these objects that will never respond so she pretends they do, just to chase away that yawning, aching feeling of not having a single friend. All she gets in return is silence. All she finds in front of her is space, and more space. The kind of space that could swallow a child in its emptiness.

And in the center, is a seat left empty. For a mother who doesn't believe her daughter is worth the time.

I think there will be very few who will appreciate the strength it takes to survive a lifetime of that, and that's sad.

• The little Hana sequence reminds me of the animated film Cinderella, particularly in how the main character uses dreams and imagination as an escape from her life of drudgery and the abuse she faces daily. Particularly the song "Sing Sweet Nightingale", where Cinderella's dull world bursts into vivid colour through the soap bubbles that emerge from the washing bucket.

It's a beautiful, soft, almost surreal little sequence...but when you strip it all down to its basics, what you're essentially seeing is a woman so abused by her family and so trapped in this life she does not deserve, that she has to grasp at straws to find joy. Or in this case, soap bubbles.

What Hana faces in her home is perhaps a little more similar to Rapunzel's situation in Tangled than Cinderella's, but there are definite similarities in the way both characters use their imaginations to soothe and comfort themselves. She is forced into a situation where her imagination - and these things that can't respond to her - are all she has, and the only ways she can keep herself safe and happy. That's way too big a burden for a child so young to bear.

• I wonder if there will be more than the memories. Perhaps documents, news clippings, research material that the MC can use to dig further into what's going on in this country. It's possible, but it's also possible that memories will entirely be how we unravel this mess. I was speaking to @thefirstcourtesan the other day and she mentioned that Bianca and Bastien would both be pretty good sources for finding out more - Bastien, after all, had a lot of respect for the second queen and was close to Jackson, and Bianca would have heard certain things from her husband or witnessed something at the very least (and if they were friends, that angle too). I probably would add Lucretia and maybe Anton (if we see them and if they cooperate), Bertrand or someone new who knew Bartamely (if we can find out more about the Beaumont house that would be lovely!), the Lees, and...Francesco? (I still haven't forgotten that Bertrand mentioned him as being a friend of Liam's mother). I also want to see what new information Olivia got from the last time she did her research on any hidden deals or laws that could endanger the kingdom. There are quite a few possibilities in terms of what we could find and how it can be presented, so I'm looking forward to that. This scene was a good start.

• Having said that, this was something they should have been addressing the previous book. If they hadn't spent so much of their focus on all the wrong things, we wouldn't have as much ground to cover as we do now. And I'm not sure they've learned their lesson enough that we will not see the same mistakes repeated this time.

• Why is the system in place to inform and update the MC on what's happening so poor this time. At least earlier, we'd have a fairly good idea of what would be happening next, even if some important stuff was done last minute. Now the explanations themselves are poorly formed and done without proper thought on whether the MC/readers might understand what's going on or not. It doesn't look good on the story, nor does it look good on those characters esp the MC. This is stuff she could have maybe gotten away with as a suitor. But now she is Duchess/Queen, and an influential figure. What looked good in her days as a suitor won't look so good on her now.

• The Royal Council could be a way forward - for the nobility and royalty-heavy narrative to something that shows us more perspectives from the people who really form the backbone of this country - the commoners who actually populate Cordonia's lands and duchies, whose hard work likely keeps the economy running. Just one Drake isn't adequate for that kind of representation - not when he very rarely addresses their issues in the first place. Please tell me there will be more in that Council because the Council as it stands is in no way an improvement on the status quo.

• I've said more than enough about how bizarre and downright OOC Liam sounds, but I do think we should not ignore the context - the fact that every single individual involved is making these demands of the MC and expecting her to save their country through her child without really checking if she has basic knowledge or other resources in place (such as information about the rulers she is meeting). That includes the LIs. It's very easy to make just a character or two a convenient scapegoat, but let's not forget that there isn't a single person in this entire narrative that is bothering to examine the implications. Not a single.

• What really got me angry...was the Hana doctor sequence. Maybe two books ago it would have just hurt - but more on the level of "it hurts to see Hana like this but I have hope for her". Hope that she would have the space to grieve something she had lost before she could ever even have it, hope that the narrative would validate her pain and encourage her healing. But I can't even hope for that anymore.

This is a very very painful, complicated situation to put a person in. And yes, sometimes those are things you want to talk about and finding out you can't have children when you've always wanted to have them is a very real, very difficult situation - and there is a lot you can explore in terms of how a person with these conditions would feel. But the thing is...Hana has already been on the receiving end of multiple tragic storylines. I have already seen enough and more of her in pain. What I'm not seeing is a good - or even adequate - payoff that validates her painful journey and allows for a release of those emotions. I'm constantly seeing more tragedy, less triumph. I'm not seeing enough satisfactory resolution to those many many issues, and I've spent three books just watching her hurt be brushed aside both by the people who bully her AND the people who are supposed to be her friends (let's be real, they're doing it even now). And now is supposed to be a good time to pile up another difficult situation on her???

• Whenever Hana has been forced into situations that hurt her, her emotions and thoughts have always been pushed to the sidelines - unless and until it was to elevate the MC to a pedestal in Hana's eyes. Hana has rarely - if ever - been given the space to speak out against injustices done to her, has rarely been allowed to have an opinion on people who have harmed her.

When the narrative should have been validating what Madeleine put Hana through, they opted to create sympathy for Madeleine instead...and had her completely minimize what she did to Hana ("I'm sure Hana will be willing to let bygones be bygones").

When the narrative should have been allowing her to discover what her sexuality was, they opted not to talk about it at all. They opted to make her MC-sexual instead. Even with the "alternative LI" they planned for her (*pukes*), they focused more on Madeleine's feelings than Hana's.

When the narrative should have allowed her the space to explore what her parents did wrong and arm her against their faulty arguments about her being the "delicate flower" who cannot survive without them, the writers opted to push her into a 'solution' that was still centered around her usefulness, not her emotional state. Her 'happy ending' with her parents involves constantly educating them on how to treat her with respect, a suffocating, draining process for a child with her background.

When the narrative should have - at least - given her a good wedding, after showing us what dreams she had for it, a wedding where she was treated like a bride, not a bridesmaid, her writers did exactly the opposite. She is more skilled than the MC yet it is the MC that gets the duchy. She is the creative one who comes up with the polo moves yet it is the MC that gets the credit. She is the one that didn't have a chance to fully plan her own wedding the way she wanted earlier, yet the same MC still treats her like her wedding planner rather than a bride. In not one of these situations is she ever allowed to vent about or even speak of what this is doing to her.

Maybe they will give her a chance to explore this difficult journey, maybe they won't. But how dare they push another tragic, difficult (to her) truth such as this, when they have barely allowed her to voice discontent or pain on a host of other issues!

Piling more pain on top of the pain a character already has, isn't going to make your character better developed. Allowing them the space to feel and show those feelings to others will. Thinking of worthy resolutions to those issues, will. If you want to be fair to Hana, center her in her story. Expand on her origins. Focus on story not skills. And validate her pain goddammit!!

• Sigh. Until next time, folks.

[nancykali]

Can I add a couple of fears? 1) Lucas as Max's first friend and confidant in S2 being ignored for the sake of Elmax and Lumax being a superficial couple. That would be second time he gets conveniently pushed aside to hype up a pairing (Byler in S2). Max can form a bond with more than one person. 2) Lucas being underused over meme-ish (white) characters. Again. And being resigned to use that useless wrist rocket for this huge season when Caleb can do kick ass stunts.

You are so right, on all counts. I wasn’t happy with how Lucas was sidelined in s2 either (I was unhappy with nearly all of season 2, with how every single character was handled... except maybe Will and some of El’s storyline was okay). I’m definitely worried about how they’ve said Lumax will be an “on-again-off-again” sort of couple in season 3 (in the TV Guide article I think it was). Of course we all knew Mileven would get more focus than them, but I thought they’d be the more “normal” couple in comparison, you know? Just less dramatic overall. But that doesn’t seem to be the case, and I hope they don’t treat Lucas like crap. But in pursuit of making up for the sexism against Max in s2, they’ve seemed to have overbalanced and underwritten Lucas... disregarding that he’s the ONLY main character of color... disturbing and racist but not surprising. I hope that what they said about Mike and Lucas bonding more this season means Lucas won’t just have romantic/love triangle drama like he did in s2? That was such a huge disappointment for me, because I love Lucas and didn’t think he deserved to only be given that (and have no bond with Will whatsoever, that really irritated me, after all he did in s1 on Will’s behalf - Will’s well-being was always at the forefront of his mind, and they completely forgot that in s2).

Ah yes, meme-ish white characters - you mean St.ve and Dust.n right? And definitely Trashgrove. Hate the hype on him, when umm, guess which character he wanted to kill in s2? Yeah, that was Lucas. Bc B.lly is racist and abusive af, but let’s make him into a meme, a sex symbol, and have him be the face of some fashion campaign... yeah... I’m pissed at the blatant racism carrying over into the promotion for this show. So I really hope they’re not showing hardly any Lucas in the trailers because he’s actually going to get a really triumphant moment over B.lly in s3, and that they don’t forget how B.lly targeted him in s2 (BECAUSE TRASHGROVE IS RACIST FAM). That’s what Lucas fucking deserves, after what that racist shithead tried to do to him in s2.

And fuck yeah, let Lucas do actual stunts! I know he’s attached to that wrist-rocket, but he can do better, and he deserves to actually be able to fight something/someone. Dust.n has St.ve to fight for him, Mike is the token useless white boy, Will definitely has powers and a connection with the Mind Flayer to help him out, let Lucas actually fight, both the monsters and B.lly! 

I feel like in s2 he was downgraded to this bridge between poor Max and the rest of the Party, and he worked so hard to make her feel accepted, and got so much shit for it, plus B.lly trying to beat him up, he deserves to actually get to fight the bad guys this season - and in defense of Max would be even better! Not saying Max can’t fight too, but I hope they are a team and Lucas isn’t pushed in the background to spotlight white characters. 

And I will definitely make a part 6 for my s3 fears series (which will all be reblogged and added to after s3 airs to see how well founded my fears were)

[disneydreamlights]

For the controversial ship meme - ALL symbols for Persona, Kingdom Hearts, and Hatoful Boyfriend.

You really out here wanting me to die tonight for my opinions.

Persona:

Ship that you have as an OTP: 🌹

SHUAKE FOR LIFE. God I love Shuake. Enemies to lovers in general just gives me life but the fact that Akechi and Akira were made to be foils to each other is just good shit.

Ship that you’re indifferent to: 😑

Honestly most Phantom Thief shipping I’m pretty ambivalent to, but if I had to pick the one I’m like...truly the embodiment of “meh” about I’d probably say Ann/Akira. I don’t love it or hate it, it just kinda exists.

Ship that makes you sad: 💔

God I’ve got two: Akiham and Fool Moon. You want depression? Great, take these ships and run with it. And if you thought the fact that Shinji dying made Fool Moon depressing, how about the fact that if you romance Aki you can’t save Shinji, so he’s lost his parents, his sister, his absolute best friend in the entire world, and now you too.

...Akihiko deserved better.

Ship that you find disgusting: 💩

KEN/MINAKO CAN GO DIE IN A HOLE BYE.

Ship that you find cute but don’t ship: ✌

I don’t really ship it but of the female confidants and Akira, ShuMako is definitely the cutest.

Ship that you secretly like: 💚

I will never own up to this again but Ann/Ryuji actually lowkey is kinda cute, and while I’m not super into it I’d definitely get behind it.

Ship that you used to have as an OTP: 💙

None really? For me to dump a ship at OTP status you gotta cataclysmically fail as bad as Lotura and have a fanbase worse than some KH ships.

Ship that you find most sexy:👅

I got held up on this for like ten minutes because I’ve never actually thought of this in regards to Persona...I guess probably Shuake? All my other ships I see as sexually incompetent to some degree. 

Ship that you can never see happening: 👎

Any of the kid/adult ships. Also Futaba/Akira, the two are practically like adoptive siblings and that’s just weird.

Ship that is canon but you don’t ship: 💤

n/a. The only canon ship in Persona is Junpei/Chidori and that’s...good.

Ship that is unpopular but you still like: 💘

...Honestly Ann/Ryuji I’m pretty sure is unpopular. Also anything P3 because the fandom is too quiet.

Ship that is taboo: 💦

Shuake? I can see this ship being classified as taboo given I had to leave a server over hate for it.

Ship that pisses you off: 💣

...Ken/Minako please fuck off.

Ship you’re curious about: 👀

I would love to see more of MakoHaru, it’s got a lot of potential but not a lot of attention and that’s a real shame.

Ship that needs more love: 💖

Every one of my P3 ships. Give Akiham more love, give Fool Moon more love, give Mitsuru/Yukari more love. Give Junpei/Chidori more love.

Ship that is most misunderstood: 💢

Shuake is misunderstood even by its fans because too many of its fans white knight Akechi and erase his wrong doings when half of the interesting things from the ship come from Akechi growing from everything he did wrong and that’s the tea.

Kingdom Hearts:

Ship that you have as an OTP: 🌹

I always crossfire my OTPs but I guess if I had to pick one to top all of them it would probably be RikuShi? Hard to say.

Ship that you’re indifferent to: 😑

Tequa. I want to like Tequa, I really do. I just can’t bring myself to care about it that much, and that saddens me.

Ship that makes you sad: 💔

Hey canon SoKai absolutely broke my heart, crushed my dreams, destroyed my soul, and I want to cry.

Ship that you find disgusting: 💩

I sat here for like an hour because I genuinely wanted to avoid naming the ship and in the end I decided I’m tied between Ak*R*ku and Ak*Shi. The age gap plus the fact that Axel feels more like their dad just makes me uncomfortable, that being said if the arts good I’m still gonna reblog.

Ship that you find cute but don’t ship: ✌

There are a lot of good high crack combinations out there like Sora/Ariel, Sora/Rapunzel. I also admire R*kuShi from a distance but the fanbase kinda turned me off pretty bad given the ship wars between them and RokuNami.

Ship that you secretly like: 💚

Terra/Cinderella is a ship I will never talk about shipping but it’s actually genuinely really cute and I blame Talia for making me ship it.

Ship that you used to have as an OTP: 💙

Once upon a time back in 2018 I was a huge S*RiK*i shipper. Then KH3 came out and well...

The behavior of some people has kinda turned me off big time from a specific third of the ship and if you don’t like all three parts then what’s the point of OT3ing.

Ship that you find most sexy:👅

Vanqua. Which I feel weird saying but you know what, that would one hundred percent be it. The rest of my ships completely lack sex appeal but Vanqua has Aqua in it and she’s literally the most attractive character in KH.

Ship that you can never see happening: 👎

Well of my own ships...Vanqua, but of the other ships...

You know what, for my own safety, I’d rather not say.

Ship that is canon but you don’t ship: 💤

Well I ship the canon and implicated canon ships so...

Ship that is unpopular but you still like: 💘

GULAVA HAS THREE SHIPPERS AND YOU KNOW WHAT I WILL PROUDLY BE ALL OF THEM.

Ship that is taboo: 💦

Vanqua. Big taboo here.

Ship that pisses you off: 💣

...

...

...

Look.

I don’t want to die Perla.

You already know my answer and why.

You know how much I hate that one theory and hate the fandom’s attitude and it’s made me legitimately angry over a ship.

I think you know the answer.

Ship you’re curious about: 👀

Aquarella looks real cute. So does NamiXi but not enough content.

Ship that needs more love: 💖

RokuNami needs more love, the ship’s fallen into quietness, but also my eternally rare pairs of GulAva and RikuShi and Vanqua and XehaEra need more content and deserve to be fed.

Ship that is most misunderstood: 💢

VANQUA

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST GUYS THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH AN AGE GAP BETWEEN A SIXTEEN AND EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD STOP PORTRAYING IT AS GROSS THERE ARE UNDERSTANDABLE REASONS TO CALL VANQUA BAD AND A REASON I WOULD NEVER WANT IT CANON BUT THE AGE GAP DIFFERENCE IS NOT IT.

Hatoful Boyfriend:

Ship that you have as an OTP: 🌹

My oc x Yuuya because Zoe and I rped that and it’s one of my top ships period. Sakuya/Ryouta is honestly a very good ship and 10/10 would ship again.

Ship that you’re indifferent to: 😑

Honestly most ships? There’s just not a lot of birdie combinations I’m super into in general.

Ship that makes you sad: 💔

Hiyoko/Ryouta is particularly tragic, even if I’m not a shipper of it, once you take into account BBL.

Ship that you find disgusting: 💩

Yuuya/Sakuya

Fuck off with that incest.

Ship that you find cute but don’t ship: ✌

I’m not super big into Anghel/Nageki but it’s real cute anyways, just not enough canon substantiating it.

Ship that you secretly like: 💚

N/A. Don’t really had any of my Hatoful ships.

Ship that you used to have as an OTP: 💙

None? Same deal as P5 there was no fuckery in the fanbase to turn me off. It’s a nice chill fanbase over here.

Ship that you find most sexy:👅

...They’re birds.

Ship that you can never see happening: 👎

Shuu/Yuuya. I know there are people who ship it and no.

Ship that is canon but you don’t ship: 💤

N/A. No canon ships.

Ship that is unpopular but you still like: 💘

...I’m not involved in the fandom enough for this tbh.

Ship that is taboo: 💦

None I’m interested in tbh.

Ship that pisses you off: 💣

PEOPLE WHO SHIP EITHER SETS OF BROTHERS. JUST NO.

Ship you’re curious about: 👀

Anghel/Nageki. Let them interact more in the next game.

Ship that needs more love: 💖

...All of them. This fandom is tiny give the game more love before its ships.

Ship that is most misunderstood: 💢

None that I can think of?

[eb-byestelle]

Ship game

Tagged by @fuzzykiddreamer (Thank you 💖 !!)

Shipping and Fandom Ask

Embrace your inner shipper!  Answer questions about your favorite ships or fandoms. Reblog to participate and let your ship flag fly!

1.What are your top 10 manga/anime ships of all time?

Top 10 anime/manga:

Yuuki x Kaname - Vampire Knight

Victor x Yuri – Yuri !!! on ice

Mirai x Akihito - Kyoukai no Kanata

Izumi x Ryouma - Love Stage!!

Shiomi x Orina - Psychic Academy (very unpopular but really sweet ship ;3) 

Emeraude x Zagato - Magic Knight Rayearth

Okabe x Kurisu - Steins;Gate

Edgar x Lydia - Hakushaku to Yousei

Yori x Iku - Boku wa Imouto ni Koi wo Suru

Valentino x Ranmaru - Ikoku Irokoi Romantan

I’m not very “shipper type”, but from anime/manga I guess these ten ships are sth I will always remember 💕 💖 💕 💖

2.What gif or screenshot most sums up your ship?

Yume

https://www.deviantart.com/jams-yy/art/Kaname-X-Yuuki-295424796

http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/vampire-knight/images/34332617/title/vampire-knight-fanart

(I add the links because for some reasons these gifs make that post is not able to be saved)

3. Describe your favorite ship in seven words or less. 

Yume - Passionate, complicated, eternal love, above everything.

Victuuri - Harmonious, colorful, eros, agape, perfect duo,

Mirai x Akihito - Sacrifice, understanding, monsters in love.

Izumi x Ryouma - I love each part of you.

Shiomi x Orina - Innocent, lust, slow exploration.

Emeraude x Zagato - Protect your freedom - everything else can die.

Okabe x Makise - Time and space don’t matter.

Edgar x Lydia - Secrets, courtship, caramel hair.

Yori x Iku - Pure love, dirty love, love forever.

Valentino x Ranmaru - Opposites attract.

When I think which details connect all these ships, I’m gonna say: Romantic, unconventional, imperishable, full of mutual love and acceptation.

4.What’s your go-to episode or scene when you need ship feels?

Generally In this kind of situation I want to watch some moments when the love between couple is the most visible, usually when between the couple there is some intensive moment full of love.

Yume:

From manga VK: the whole vol 19 (including the cover 💖) - My heart melts when I look at each chapter T_T 💖

From anime VK: VKG - ep 2, 8 (I’ve always been in love with my own brother ;3) and 13 (this last scene T_T 💖 ..........)

Victuuri: the whole ep 10 - I.LOVE.WHOLE.THIS.EP !

Mirai x Akihito ; Shiomi x Orina ; Okabe x Kurisu: first kiss scenes (there is sth really moving in first kiss scenes ;3)

Izumi x Ryouma ; Yori x Iku: first time (both are just amazing...)

Lydia x Edgar: 

Ep 1 and some peculiary scene in ep 9 (bishounen + whiskey Jack Daniels + loved one = have fun! 💀🔥)

Emeraude x Zagato:

Two last eps of season 1 (romantic and horribly tragic at the same time...)

5.What song or songs remind you of your favorite fandom, character or ship?

Seal - Kiss from the rose 💕

It was a song when, while listening to it I read VK for the first time in 2010. In that moment I read first volume and I said: “Wow - This is great!” Later, after many years, after deeper listening, It turned out that the words of this song perfectly suit to the yume ship. From then on, I associate this song with both the first time when I was charmed by this series and with yume pair.

6. If the creators of your favorite fandom asked you to write the ship canon-confirmation episode, what will you write/how will it happen?

VK / Yume: A lot of things have already been said and done. However, I would doubtless make Yuuki and Kaname be together again (in the normal sense, not like now xp) and that Yuuki would say straight what we see while the whole series, but what hasn't been said directly - that Kaname is the love of her life and that she have never loved anyone so much as she loves Kaname. Such an expressions of feelings and the connection of these two after all these things they have survived (like in the case of Okabe x Kurisu or Mirai x Akihito) would be just a wonderful last chapter. In the case of anime series, I admit that I like the ending. And as for the continuation, we both know well how I would do it ^^

7.Do you prefer to indulge in (consume or create) fanart or fanfic of your favorite ship? 

I prefer to indulge in create fanarts and fanfic but usually not related to my favorite ships.

8.Smut or fluff? (VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION xD) 

I like both eqally ;3 Or remix 👀!!

9.What ship are you embarrassed to admit you like?

I guess none.

10.What task are you most likely to procrastinate so you can indulge in your ship or fandom?

Sometimes I’m able to not sleep all night because to the morning I’m talking with fans of sth I love, I’m watching my favorite serieses or watching/reading sth depends on it, don’t mentioning about when I’m writing sth by my own. Then the time doesn’t matter 💀 then anything doesn’t matter. It remind sth like a state of trance. - I recommend! 🔥🔥🔥

11.How many hours of the day do you spend reading fanfic or looking at fanart or other media? 

In case of fanfics and fanarts, none. I choose to look for some nice edits or news about real series. I can spend from few minutes to few hours, but not everyday, only sometimes.

12.How many memorabilia’s do you own of your favorite fandom or ship (clothes, plushies, etc.)? 

VK: The uniform of night class which I was sewing every day for two weeks so it’s really important to me 💖 I also have all 19 volumes, all DVDs, postcards, posters and badges. I will have soon also a fanbook ^^

Death Note: postcards, posters, badges and ofc. death note ;33

I have also a lot of some little details from various another serieses like all volumes of Love Stage. But mostly I focus on VK.

13.If you could own one authentic item from your favorite fandom world, what would it be?

All dragon balls xD or at least Goku’s four-star ball 💖

And the Kaname’s bed - with Kaname in the set! 🥂💕🔥

14.What fandom have you found to be too toxic to deal with?  

Since I have been on Tumblr, I got involved in only one fandom, so tbh, I can't answer it, because I have no comparison with another fandoms. I also don't have an intend to get too involved in other fandoms, at most superficially.

Nevertheless, withouth doubt the continuous ships-war is tiring and ridiculous. I've always wondered, why among zekis the some of them are still such stubborn, that they can't just get over it and admit that Yuuki's first choice was always Kaname, and Zero on the end turned out to be only the "consolation prize". This is a sad truth, but these are the facts. I think that the only way to real, honest coexistence is to accept this truth on the both sides. Just like when yume accepted that zeki is also a canon and Zero to a degree was also loved by Yuuki in a romantic way, though by not as strong love as Kaname.

It's all simple and transparent, it's enough to notice it. 

The answer: "She loves both equally." is no solution ... "She loves one the most." - this is the only acceptable solution in every LT. Even in Arabic harems there is a division on the "first wife" and "next wives". So it's a natural state of things - one the biggest choise. I think that this is the point of attachment and the right, healthy way to resolve this conflict.

It's interesting that when the VK manga was still published, among my native fandom there was also a clear division between yume and zeki. There was no hatred in this. It was just something like a gulf. Then I saw the same for MAL and here. It inspired me to create a theory that this division is not only a division into ships, but also a division based on a systems of views. And in such a situation it's quite difficult to blur the boundaries... That's why I think that determining ONE plot is the most reasonable way. Later we can at most see, how much my theory works in practice, and in how many cases it's jusr an ordinary, superficial choice of a "more cool ship in someone's taste".

15.Do you have or would you consider getting a tattoo depicting your favorite ship or fandom?

I don't think so I would ever have a tattoo, but I for sure wouldn't walk past indifferently next to earrings or necklace with the symbol of Cross Academy ;3 - I love this symbol, it's so beautiful !!

16.What is the strangest thing you’ve done to honor your favorite fandom, ship or character?

It’s hard tbh... One time I created with my friend some dumb “event” which looked like “A night with Kaname” xD She prefered Kain, but she also liked Kaname so it was no problem to do it with her. All night we created a funny or pervert memes, edits, posts, games, and we came up with that we would print the posters of our fave. As a result we didn’t do it but... when I think about it right now, this wish is still “alive” xD ...

It was also one night, when I wrote some poem about sth like “how it would be, if I would kiss someone like Kaname”. I mean, although I know he’s not real, it can’t be denied that It’s sth really pleasant to imagine that in our world there might exist someone such amazing like Kaname. This poem was sth like a vision of kiss with the potential, “real” Kaname. It’s a bit embarrasing, when I think about it because this erotic was incredibly personal and intimate, showing not just a kiss but some feelings accompanying to kiss the real love. So yeah, it was very personal and some kind of mix my deep symphaty and love to Kaname character + the description of my feelings while a real passionate kiss with someone, when my knees are bending, face is burning etc + the showing an experience of romantic moment with someone I love. So it was about Kaname and not about Kaname, sth between in other words xD

I also love to say about VK and Kaname in some serious discussion on studies. I think it’s nothing weird or embarassing to mentioned about some aspects from mangas on such an discussions. I think this manga are not just vampire and dumb LT thread but there is sth really deep and interesting, forcing as to think and reflect about what is love, sin, desire, death, will of life, etc... I love this in VK.

I’m tagging @eternalyumelove, @astharoshebarvon, @aphrodytevalentine

I know you guys love ships so have fun ! ;3 (If u want ;3)

[sansloii-a]

coughs so am I allowed to request all of the “salty af munday meme” answers or—

oh my fucking god || @imbruedinfear​

strap in y’all ‘cause someone wants to hear me complain

What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

if you post excessive ooc in quick sucession, i will unfollow you faster than the speed of light. i’ve done it in the past. i will not hesitate to do it in the future. i don’t care if it’s tagged. if i’m on and i see it, you’re gone, my friend.

What’s the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?

uuuuuuuuuuhhhhh there was this one dude that legit tried to monopolize one of my old muses on another blog, got upset when i set a main ship for said muse, complained to me nonstop, was trying to use me to get back into rping with my friend group ( which he called “the popular group” for a reason I don’t understand to this day ), only wanted to ship, got pissy over a fucking pokemon au ( if you ever wanna hear about this, lemme know ), tried to insert a ship into every au we made automatically, tried to tell me how to write smut for no reason ( said he would read it and give me tips and everything ffs ), was an asshole to my sister ( who rped way back when but doesn’t anymore ), made several friends of mine uncomfortable to the point of leaving the rp scene for a bit, blamed other people for issues that he honestly had a part in causing, and a bunch of other things that i’m forgetting right now.

i figure that’s the worst because nothing has topped that. nothing. that happened years ago, though, so i’m good now. no one fucks with me like that anymore.

What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise?

i got about 10 asks from someone when i wanted to do other shit ( my asks that are in the double digits ) ‘cause they wanted me to send them an ask. annoyed me to hell and back and i promptly deleted those asks

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  tough shit. i was not in the mood for games and i’m still not.

 Has anyone ever tried to steal your blog? Your headcanons? Icons? All that jazz?

not that i know of??? i hope not ‘cause i worked real hard on all this and if you steal anything from me, i’m gonna throw a huge-ass heaping of karma your way.

 How many people don’t like you?

i dunno. i’d say none but i know not everyone is going to like me so if you’re out there and you don’t like me, you’re entitled to that. don’t tell me, though, ‘cause i don’t wanna know if you don’t like me.

How many people do you not like?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i don’t really care enough to actively not like anyone. you can annoy me but unless you piss me off and continue to piss me off, you get stuck on the “do not care” list. 

Have you managed to stay away from drama?

i give advice when needed on how to avoid whoever my convo partner is talking about and i avoid getting involved. unless it’s like… a close friend or involves a close friend, i refuse to get in the middle of whatever issue people have. i’m not about to have my ass dragged into problems that do not concern me.

i don’t cause drama either so that’s also how i stay away from it. 100% guaranteed to keep you out of drama.

Have you ever been in the middle of drama?

personal/friend drama? yes. rp drama? see above.

none of that was fun btw. it was a lot of me getting angry, being frustrated with certain behaviors, having to cut people out for doing shit/saying shit that they knew they shouldn’t have and refusing to recognize that they have fucked up and use that to change their behavior, etc. it’s draining and not fun and i’m pretty sure it shaved years off my life but y’know, it is what it is. the most i can do about it is look out for myself and keep out of relationships that will put me in those situations again.

Have you ever tried to bring peace to a situation?

no because i used to be friends with people that weren’t straightforward with shit and made excuses instead of changing their behavior. i don’t wanna go into it ‘cause and i can’t remember all the details but boy, peace was hard to come by and it didn’t last long. i wasn’t going to try to bring peace if people didn’t really seem to want it and level with each other.

How long do you stay mad?

depends on what you do, tbh, but it’s a couple hours at least. a couple days at most.

What’s your rp pet peeve? ( i have a lot of these )

playing “find the links” on someone’s blog. if i can’t find your links, i’ll try “/rules”, “/r.”, “/g.” and whatever else i can think of to get your rules and a couple more things to get your muse’s about. however, i shouldn’t have to and it takes little effort to make it so that your links are easily distinguishable from the background. if i don’t find them, i don’t find them. and i don’t follow/follow back

Have you ever forgiven a partner when you shouldn’t have?

nope. not now, not ever.

 Have you ever been forgiven when you knew you shouldn’t have been?

i’ve never been in a situation where i’ve had to be forgiven for stuff i’ve done so no.

What fads/trends are you so over?

the first thing i thought of was the fucking double ampersands thing that was everywhere at some point. those annoyed me so much and i’m so glad they’re gone. super small text needs to die too. i may not wear glasses but i sure as shit ain’t straining my eyes to see what you’ve written in 3px font. 

honestly, a lot of the excessive aesthetic shit that sacrifices accessibility for #aesthetic

Have you ever rp’d with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about?

nope, nope. nu-uh. if i knew for a fact that this person was abusive in that moment, i wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot pole. absolutely fucking not. 

Have you ever made a public call out post?

-loud snort- hell no.

What has made you completely lose your chill?

honestly? look at my worst experience and that about sums up shit that has made me lose my chill. you really gotta push my fucking buttons to make me mad ‘cause i’m usually pretty laid back.

What do you think about public call out posts?

answered here

A fandom that you feel isn't open and accepting? 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i dunno. i’ve only been in one before and that was f.ire e.mblem

 A fandom that you feel is open and accepting?

imma be real honest with y’all--the only fandom i’ve been in that i will acknowledge is f.ire e.mblem and i had a pretty sweet time there. i had some ups and downs but it was an overall good experience for me. it was pretty open and inviting in my opinion but i tended to stay away from the douchebags in the fandom ‘cause i just wanted to have a good time there.

Thoughts on duplicates following you?

 if i have duplicates of my oc following me, i’ll have a whole fucking cow 

Do you agree with reblog karma or is it forced interaction?

i don’t think it’s forced interaction most of the time ( with sentence starters, symbol memes, memes that take literally zero fucking effort to send in ) ‘cause... everyone likes getting stuff, y’know. if you wanna reblog it from someone, just take a moment to send something in if the interaction is feasible. that’s the key thing here. if it’s feasible, then i don’t see the issue with sending something in before you reblog it from someone ( especially if you’re mutuals ). if it isn’t and you just wanna reblog it, reblog it from the source. it’s not that serious.

if someone nitpicks you for rebloging the same meme they did but you reblogged it from the source, i wouldn’t feel too bad. you know what’s best for your muses and if you don’t feel like the meme is cohesive for interactions, then that’s your prerogative and the 

Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you?

answered here

Has someone been jealous of you?

i’ve only been told that someone was jealous of me once and it was a long time ago. i have never heard that from anyone again ( not that i remember, at least )

Have you ever been jealous of anyone?

mhm! but it usually comes when i’m feeling super down about my blog and doubting my ocs ( which isn’t often ). when i do get jealous, it’s over interactions and the like and my big dumb galactic brain is like “wow, don’t you wish you had those interactions? don’t you wish you were rping with those people?” and makes me feel bad about the interactions i have, the speed at which i reply, my ocs, how many people are interesting in my ocs, etc. however, this shit doesn’t last long ‘cause i have a bunch of wonderful people that motivate me to get out of that funk and just... focus on what i have instead of what i’m seeing on my dash. i remind myself that i’m here to have fun and i shouldn’t try to match my experience to others’

How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?

more formatting, smaller icons, more focus on having a fancy ass theme, more formatting, more callout posts, less communication in some regard, more reminders for communication.more psa posts, more formatting--

honestly, i’ve been on tumblr since 2012 and most of it is a blur lmao. i probably don’t remember everything ‘cause i was.... 15 when i started rping on here. i’m 22 now. i’m sure a lot has changed in seven years but i definitely haven’t seen it all.

Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?

i’m currently a fandomless blog and boy, is it a lot more fun XD i have a lot more creative liberty and i can shape the world my muses live in to my liking, as opposed to following or just adding onto what the fandom universe already is. it’s a lot of work and it takes a ton of time but it’s fun and i’m enjoying every second of it! 

How salty are you feeling right now?

answered here but i’ll just say it again: not salty. just tired and rambly because holy shit this took a while

[precarious-hermit]

One of the most disgusting parts of that bullshit outside of the actual damage they cause is that even to someone who is used to seeing terf/transphobic shit, and clocking it as what it really is, terfs/terf posts/terf content can fly under the radar just long enough to pull off some shitty indoctrination to some poor unexpecting person who just thought they were consuming feminist content, unaware that some terfs spiked the punch bowl, or just long enough that they already have that engagement from you (think those posts you see of people going 'hey, accidentally reblogged a terf's post, sorry about that. deleted that shit as soon as i found out.' whether they shared a meme from a terf user or a vague feminist post only to find out that nope, again, terf author or the post hints at gross shit that someone might've missed just doomscrolling, so on so forth -- you get the picture).

And, as @justlgbtthings said, blocking does fuck all. The best thing we've got is education and isolation.

Some people are just too rabid to inform or persuade into considering and re-thinking their stances, however, and that's where the isolation has to come in. It's like that viral post that makes it's way around every so often (forget where it originated from, so if someone felt like finding it, by all means you beautiful, amazing, motivated person) about the nazi getting kicked out of the bar. A nazi came in, and the bartender spots a nazi symbol tattooed on them or a jacket patch or whatever it was. Anyways, the bartender immediately kicks the nazi out of the bar and refuses to serve them. When asked why the bartender did that because the dude just wanted a drink, the bartender says that if they would have served the nazi, then the nazi would have come back, and then would have brought a nazi friend, and then another, and then they would have become an established nazi bar that would've been fucking impossible to deal with.

terfs are so invasive it’s disgusting actually. like you could block 99% of terfs on here, but all it takes is one to get their hands on your posts and then all of a sudden it’s being passed around in their transmisogynistic circles and there’s nothing you can do except delete it. this is why tumblr is a hellsite (derogatory). blocking does fuck all if you can’t actually use it to protect yourself and your followers from hate speech.