#that whole interaction and song just about made me lose my shit

[flames-tstuff]

AAAAHHHH I'm having so many thoughts about Fizz feeling insecure (i.e. that scene towards the end of the Mammon episode) and Ozzie taking it upon himself to reassure and cheer him up with tickles 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭

[shaguro]

— ✰ NEVER LOSE ME | CONNIE S.

✧synposis: connie loves to visit his favorite girl after his races.

✧contents: smut with a lil plot. (streetracer!connie x stripper reader, reader is black. (she has a fro but no other physical descriptions are given besides that.) unestablished relationship. unprotected sex (p in v) breeding kink?? unrequited feelings but not really. reader is just young, sexy and free; just having fun. 🩷 very inspired by the song by flo milli, doesn't follow that exact plot though! mdni.

✧word count: 1.6k.

✧shanti’s note: chile… i made three different drafts before i settled on this one, okay! so it was definitely a major work in progress for a while but we made it yall! i'm so nervous about this one for some reason, can't pinpoint why. anywho, i hope y'all enjoy it. forgot to answer the ask but THANK YOU for the ask anon, and i hope you enjoy it 🩷

all the other dancers wondered how you managed to bag the connie springer, a well-known street racer in your area. he was a loyal client. always respectful, tipped well — not to mention, he’s fine as fuck. connie always came to see you after one of his many winning races, ready to shower you in affection and with money he just won. so just like the other times, you’re in one of the private rooms in the strip club; the pink led lights illuminated your soft skin, showcasing all the dips and curves of your beautiful body.

“it’s because of you, baby.” connie licks his lips, tattooed hands rested on the fattest part of your ass, only separated by the thin fabric of your thong. “you’re the reason i never lose.”

“oh please.” you kiss your teeth. with your hands on his knees, you lean forward to give him the view you knew he loved. “you say that shit every time you come see me. we both know it’s not true, so stop it.”

now it was his turn to suck his teeth, his hand meeting your ass with a hard smack! you gasp and almost jolt forward but connie’s hand is on your throat, pulling you backwards until your bare back is against his chest. you tilt your head to meet those pretty hazel eyes and god, his glare was so intense it actually made you nervous.

and it had your pussy fluttering, clenching on nothing.

“i say it ‘cuz i mean it.” his free hand trails up your thigh, stopping dangerously close to your core. he chuckles when you spread your legs, watching your reflection intently in the tall mirror. “didn’t even do anything yet and look, already openin’ up f’me.”

this sort of interaction should not be happening between a dancer and a client, you knew that — when it came to connie though, he was the only exception. maybe it was because you felt like he saw you, went out of his way to have an actual relationship with you. connie wanted you to be his girlfriend but you always refused. you were too sexy, too carefree to be tied down by anyone, especially a man.

it would be a lie to say you didn’t enjoy the man’s company though; you two had gotten close, close enough that you’d link up outside the club. late nights spent in his customized red wraith, hanging out the window as the cool evening breeze hit you. connie would buy you all kinds of jewelry and the biggest bouquets of red roses you’d ever seen. take you out on dates, even flew you out once. but you were just having fun and that didn’t mean you needed to be with him.

in moments like this, though? you considered that possibility a little more.

“connie, mmm.” you moaned, his nimble fingers rubbing at your barely-clothed clit. there’s something about his touch that electrifies your whole body, your hips rolling, seeking more friction. “my b-boss might pop in, we shouldn’t..”

connie hums in acknowledgment, his wet tongue tracing along your neck. “i don’t give a fuck and you know that.” indeed, you did. “she was on your ass last time?”

the last time your boss had walked in, connie had you on your back, legs spread wide as he ate you out like a man starved. it was embarrassing, even connie couldn’t save you from the lengthy lecture you received. you don’t remember every single thing your boss said but she made one rule very clear: no fucking in her strip club.

you were a fan favorite so she wouldn’t get rid of you, even if you had a tendency to bend the rules.

“she was.” you sigh, leaning your head back on his shoulder. one of your hands were on his head, feeling on his blonde buzzcut while his lips latched onto delicate skin. “i don’t give a fuck either.”

his chuckle vibrated through your skin, sent shivers up your spine. you knew he’d just left a mark with the way his tongue swept over the damage, another trace of him that would need extra concealer.

“how much time do we have left, pretty?”

you look up to the bedazzled glittery clock on the wall, squinting your eyes to see it better. “hmm.. like twenty minutes?”

connie scoffed. “i’ll make you cum in ten.”

all that could be heard in the dimly-lit room were the sounds of your sweet cries as your ass ricocheted off connie’s pelvis, the steady clap clap clap so loud in your ears. you were on all fours with connie right behind you. he had one hand cupped on your jaw, keeping your head upright and the other on the fat of your hip — digging crescents into your soft skin with each snap of his hips.

“open your eyes, baby. look and see how pretty you look.” he gives your jaw a light squeeze and you comply, slowly opening your lashed eyelids to observe yourself, to drink in the mess he’s made of you.

your brown curly fro ruffled and scattered, drool trickling from your open mouth with one hand on the crystal mirror to brace yourself. you swore your eyes had crossed from the overwhelming pleasure you felt and he was so deep — damn near touching your lungs, knocking all the air out of them.

and then connie is leaning forward, his breath ghosting your ear. “see? so pretty.” this was anything but an innocent statement. connie took pride in having you like this — completely dumb off his dick to the point that all you could do is beg, whine for more and he’d never hold back. he’d give it all to you.

not only his dick but he’d give his whole heart too, the whole damn world if it meant he’d never lose you.

“c-connie, ohhfuck.” you mewl, your free hand is reaching behind you, scrambling to find his arm to claw at or anything to steady yourself with. “so deep, i c-can’t—“

“you can, baby.” he coos. connie holds your arm and to your horror, bends it to a degree at the small of your back, keeping it in place. his pace never falters, grinding into that swollen spot inside you so deliciously, you couldn’t breathe — any attempts at sound caught in your throat.

“always take me so well—fuck.” connie lets out a moan so erotic, your pussy clenches involuntarily around him. “l-love this fuckin’ pussy.”

your eyelids felt so heavy as you looked at connie’s reflection in the mirror, admiring the handsome man that tore you up with ease. his head is tilted down with his bottom lip captured between his top row of pretty white teeth, eyes trained on where your bodies connected. he was mesmerized at how you swallowed all his dick so greedily, sinking deeper and deeper as you fucked back into him, a white milky ring of cream forming on the base of his length — it was truly a sight like no other.

“want you to myself,” connie grits out, landing a quick slap on your ass, rubbing the tender flesh right after to soothe the sting. “c-can’t lose you, (y/n)—hah—can’t let anyone else h-have you.”

“c-connie, you—“

“tell me,” he interrupts and his eyes meet yours in the glass, all low and dark, full of passion. “tell me you’re mine, that this—” his hand trails down the arched curve of your back, it was like fire trailed behind his fingertips. “—is all for me, only for me.”

you nod dumbly, not even realizing what you’re saying, your voice only a whisper. “y-yes, it’s y-yours.”

connie shakes his head and leans forward once again, this time with a sharp thrust into your soppy cunt, filling you to the hilt. you gasp and you can’t stop your eyes from rolling into your skull, from crying out his name.

“gotta be louder than that, pretty. say it one more time f’me?” he’s pressing wet kisses along your jaw and neck, clouding your focus even further. you could feel his dick pulsing inside you, stretching you out so perfectly. you wouldn’t mind staying like this forever, letting him ruin you till the end of time.

“i-it’s—“ you inhale, a deep shaky breath. “it’s all yours, connie. this p-pussy is yours, so fuck me like you m-mean it.”

it’s like as soon as you say those words, a switch flips in connie’s brain.

instead of straightening his posture, his chest is flush against your back, the gold chain on his neck dangling over your shoulder as he starts to rut his hips into you with no precision. and it’s so filthy, your poor cunt squishing and squelching sporadically, warm milky slick trickling down your thighs.

“gonna—nghh, gonna fuckin’ cum.” his voice raised an octave, all slurred and whiney. “where… where d-do you want it, baby?”

he was expecting to hear your ass or your back, maybe even your face if you were feeling extra nasty. nothing prepared him for that pretty whine you let out prior to saying,

“inside! want it inside con, wanna feel it..” you give him the cutest pout and all he could think was fuck, you would really be the death of him.

only a few moments passed before you got what you wanted — connie’s hot, sticky cum paints your inner walls generously and it’s so much, each rock of his hips had the fluid gushing out of you. it sends you right over the edge. your legs give out, the sheer force of your orgasm had you trembling, limp in connie’s strong arms. you glanced tiredly at the ticking clock one last time and damn, he really did make you cum in ten minutes.

there was no time to recover because as you two were on the floor, tangled and sweaty, still out of breath — your boss slams the door open, her face screwed with anger.

“both of y’all, get the fuck out!”

but you didn’t care, not at all. this just meant you'd have another one of those nights, music blasting from those booming speakers as connie sped down the freeway, his hand on your thigh when he'd repeat those six words without fail, "i never want to lose you."

tonight, you decided that he wouldn't.

the hoe house: @rintcrous @90ekz @honeybleed @nysrage @vixensajntz @hyunip @zuriayan @tishlvr @black-yn @loccka6 @chile-im-embarrassed @dxddykenn @sheluvzeren @viisgrave @xocherishxo @vipprincessblog @prettypixigrl @sugxrbxbyqueen @fuyuswifey @iikatsukii @pinkprintzz @astrokatsuki @qupidology @smolchubbygoddess @juicepouchhh @saraiitrue | @bleach-your-panties @chrollohearttags @ramonathinks @blkwriters @ichigosluvrr

join the house here. ♡

@/hoesluvshanti, 2023-2024. do not copy, steal or repost my content without permission.

[strniohoeee]

Stainless

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N is a virgin who so badly wants to have sex with Matt, but she’s scared. However when they’re alone in the triplets house things take a turn….this is for the two requests I got for a virgin reader having soft sex with Matt🥹

Warnings⚠️: This is soft cute sex. Virginity lose, and that’s about it 🫶🏽

Song for the imagine: J’s Lullaby(darlin I’d wait for you) Delaney Bailey

⚠️This is an 18+ story, so minors do not interact, or do??⚠️

Matt and I had been dating for roughly 7 months at this point. These past 7 months have been the best months of my life. I was surrounded by 3 people I loved, and making memories that would last forever

About five months into the relationship is when Matt and I finally decided to tell their fan base. Since I was always in their videos, some fans started to notice some vibes between the both of us.

Honestly I was petrified to tell them because a lot of their fans were super protective over them, and I’m a sensitive girl. I didn’t want to get any hate. Surprisingly we received way more love, and the occasional hate from some 14 year old, but nothing to make me feel any type of way.

Constantly Matt and I would watch shipping edits of us, some that even showed how we acted like a couple months before we even started dating. We loved it so much

Other times I would watch edits on my own of us, or just of Matt, and the comments had my jaw on the floor.

“I know he gives y/n the pounding of her life”

“He’s a skinny white boy. You know he be laying that pipeeeee”

“Poor y/n…..I know he be tearing her shit up”

Although these comments made me laugh, they also made me blush from embarrassment because they couldn’t have been further from the truth. I was a virgin, and Matt and I had only really made out and got handsy. Usually I’d break away and stop it, and he respected it and never said anything about it.

I knew he wanted to have sex because he’s a 20 year old man, and I for sure wanted to have sex because?? We’ll have you seen Matt??

But in the back of my mind I was so fucking nervous. I had never ever had sex. I’ve never given a handjob, a blow job, a hickey…..I’ve never even seen Matt’s dick.

Many times I would crave this intimacy, but I always allowed my fear to get to the best of me. However I was more than ready to have sex with the love of my life, Matt.

Matt and I were alone at their house since Chris and Nick had an event that Matt really could care less for. We spent the whole day together, and now we were currently in his room watching a movie

The whole time I kept thinking about having sex with Matt, and what it would be like. If I’d be bad, nervous or just out right not cut out for losing my virginity.

“Matt…” I said waiting for him to look over at me

“Yeah?” He said looking over and smiling at me

“Can I ask you something?” I said

“Of course baby” he responded back as he paused the movie

“Do you want to have sex with me?” I asked him, and to this his eyebrows raised

“In general or right now?” He asked laughing a little bit

“In general” I told him

“I mean it’s not something that’s necessarily crossed my mind. Of course I get urges, and want to have sex, but it’s not something my mind is always on.” He responded

“Well how come?” I asked him

“I mean I just care about you, and making you laugh and smile, and spending time with you. I just love to be in your company” he said back

“Oh….well have you ever thought of having sex with me…like at all??” I asked him

“I mean sure. Whenever we’ve had heated make out sessions it has crossed my mind. You know? It’s like I think to myself could this go further” he told me

“Oh…” I responded

“Have you thought of having sex with me?” He asked

“Mmm quite often actually” I said being completely honest

“Oh?” He said starting to blush

“But I know I always pull away before it goes any further” I told him

“Yeah, but I don’t mind at all” he said smiling at me for reassurance

“I guess I’m just scared” I said

“Scared of what?” He asked me with a head tilt

“Well I’m a virgin” I told him

“Oh” he said actually shocked

“Yeah, and I just never felt like I could move forward. Not because of you! I know I want to lose my virginity to you, but because I’m so afraid of being bad, or too nervous that it doesn’t work out” I said to him

“I get that. Losing your virginity is very intimate, and for sure scary. That’s valid” he said to me

“I was thinking maybe we could have sex” I told him

“Yeah of course” he said nodding his head and smiling

“Tonight” I then responded

“Tonight?” He said surprised

“Yes. I think I’m ready for tonight” I told him

“Okay. Then tonight it is” he said leaning over and kissing me

Matt and I had been making out for a good five minutes

“Are you doing okay?” He asked looking into my eyes

“Yes Matt I’m doing great” I said giving him a smile

Matt had kissed down to my neck. Leaving light kisses that were making me burn up inside. He had removed his shirt, and I removed mine as well

“Can I take your bra off?” He asked me leaning back a little bit

“Of course” I said shyly

Matt reaches behind as I lift up, so that he could unclip my bra. Slowly pulling it off of me, and allowing my breast to fall exposed

I started to blush. Never allowing a man to see me this way causing me to get a little shy

“Don’t get shy on me baby. You look perfect” he said giving me a sly smile

Matt had started to kiss my neck, and slowly went down to my breast. Massaging both breast before taking one into his mouth

“Oh Matt” I said in a whisper as my eyes fluttered shut

He then went down to the valley of my breast, and started to kiss down leaving sloppy kisses on my stomach. I was aching for his touch.

He kissed both hip bones before looking up at me

“Can I take your pants off?” He asked, and I nodded

He started to take my pants off as I lifted up a little for him to get them fully off. Matt in return removed his sweat pants as well

He went back to kissing above my underwear. This feeling alone left my hair rising and my thigh quivering

Matt laid next to me, and started to kiss me soon breaking away

“Okay baby. I have to stretch you out” he said. I turned my head towards him and agreed

Slowly he trailed his hand down to my underwear. Slightly dipping his hand in to massage my pelvic area before completely sticking his hand down my underwear

“Open wider baby” he told me, and I allowed my legs to open up more for him

“Perfect” he said, kissing me, and then he slid his hand all the way down coating his fingers in my arousal before bringing them back up to massage my clit

I just gasped and opened my mouth as Matt and I kept looking at each other

“Feeling okay?” He asked

“I feel so good Matt” I told him licking my now dry lips

Math started to rub my clit in circular motions. Allowing me to squirm and moan at this foreign feeling.

“Okay baby this may hurt” he said before sinking his middle finger to my entrance. He was looking into my eyes as he slowly started to insert his finger into me

This was a burning stretch I’ve never felt before, causing my eyes to shut and my brows to furrow

“Ow Matt” I said finally opening my eyes

“Too much? I can stop” he said reading my face

“No no keep going” I told him, and so he did. He slowly started to rock his fingers in and out curving them up to hit my G spot

“Oh fuck” I moaned out

“That feels so fucking good” I said as he started to rub my clit with his thumb

Slowly he inserted his ring finger. This burn was something that almost made me stop him, but I wanted this way too much for him to stop now.

Once he got the second finger in he started to pump in and out at a come here motion

“Oh Matt….ive never felt something like this” I told him as my mouth fell open

“Does it feel good?” He asked

“So so good” I said whispering the last part

He was slowly fingering me for 5 more minutes before he decided to stop

“Do you think you’re ready?” He asked me

“I think so” I told him, Matt removed his underwear and my mouth fell open

“Matt….I don’t know that that will fit in me” I said almost laughing

“Baby don’t boost my ego. It will fit” he said blushing and biting his lip

“This will hurt, so I’m going to go slow, and if it’s too much I’ll stop” he said

“Okay thank you” I whispered to him

Matt had both arms on either side of my head and was looking into my eyes

“Ready?” He asked one more time

“Yes Matt I’m very ready” I told him

Matt grabbed his dick with his right hand and slowly started to push the tip in. Looking up at you to read your face. He slowly started to push the tip in, and as he started to get in is when you winced

“Fuck Matt that hurts” I said gripping his left arm with my right hand

“Want me to stop?” He asked

“No no keep going” I told him

He slowly started to insert himself into me. Paying close attention to my face. Soon he was all the way in, and he let out a sigh

“So perfect,” he said, moving my hair out of my face. Matt was allowing my vaginal walls to relax around him before moving

“You can move” I told him, and so he did. Slowly sliding back and then in. My pussy was still stretching and burning around his dick

He was letting out little moans that were making me so wet.

Slowly Matt started to pick up his pace. Sliding in and out of me in such a delicious way

“Fuck Matt you can go a little faster” I told him

Matt started to thrust into me a little faster and I was completely losing my mind. If sex felt this good, why was I waiting this long?

“Matt this feels so good” I said moaning

“You feel so fucking good around me” he said moaning the last part

Matt had gotten a little more on his knees, and allowed his arms to bend. Coming down closer to me our chests were touching, and his head was right next to my ear

I could hear his pants into my ear as he was thrusting into me

“Fuck Matt you sound hot” I told him pulling his hair at the back of his head

“Yeah?” He said in a breathy tone

“Yes…so so hot” I said as I continued to pull at his hair

Matt continued to thrust into me becoming a sweaty and groaning mess above me

“I’m going to start rubbing your clit, and you’ll be able to cum in no time” he told me before snaking his right hand down to my clit starting to rub

“OH MY GOD” I screamed out at the intense sensation I was feeling

“Too much?” He asked looking at me

“No no just right keep going. Fuck Matt I think I’m going to cum” I told him as I started to clench on his cock causing him to moan

Matt was fucking into me at a good pace and rubbing my clit, going in between slow and fast circular motions

“Matt Matt Matt” I said scratching his back and clenching down on him harder

“Come on baby! You can do it for me” he said rubbing his fingers faster

“I’m going to cum. Fuck fuck fuck” I said shutting my eyes and throwing my head back even more

“Come on. Come on give it to me” he said into my ear

“FUCKKKKK MATTT” I screamed out as I started to convulse and tremble. My orgasm completely washing over me. I was seeing white and my legs were shaking as I was cumming so hard. Slowly I started to come down my from my high with heavy breathing and dry lips

Matt pulled out of me when I stopped twitching around him. I felt weird without his dick in me. He started to pump his cock

“Fuck I’m gonna cum” he said kissing my lips

He pulled away and his lower abdomen started to contract as his mouth fell and his brows furrowed. He looked into my eyes as he came all over his hand and my lower stomach. Slowly coming down from his high and rolling onto his back next to me

“Matt that was amazing” I said looking over at him

“Was it? You don’t have to lie” he said catching his breath

“No matt. It was amazing, and you were so careful with me I appreciate it” I said rolling over to my side and kissing him on the cheek

“Anything for my pretty lady. I love you” he said looking over at me

“I love you too Matt” I said smiling at him

“Let’s get you cleaned up. Follow me let’s shower” he said and grabbed my hands

When I got off the bed my legs completely gave out on me and I almost fell to the ground

“Oh my god Matt…my legs are fucking jello” I said laughing as he grabbed me and helped me walk to his bathroom

“I’m sorry baby” he said also laughing

“I can now say Matt Sturniolo has made me weak in the knees physically” I responded laughing

“Shut up” he said all shyly as he turned on the hot water and let me step in first

We had showered together, and then spent the night watching movies until we eventually fell asleep in each other's arms.

The End

I hope you guys enjoyed this one! And for the two people that requested this I hope I didn’t disappoint, and I’m so sorry it took forever for me to get this out 🥹❤️❤️

-J💅🏽

[fernlessbastard]

I haven't been online for a while due to lack of time, as well some personal issues, but I just want to say that i obviously don't condone all of the abuse William Gold made Shelby endure. I stand with Shelby, and anyone who does otherwise, unfollow me immediately.

In regards to the characters Wilbur and Quackity from dream SMP, I have absolutely no idea what to do about it all. They've felt more like my characters ever since the end of their direct interactions on dsmp anyway, and frankly almost all of the content I've produced of them is significantly more so based off of me and my partner (however "cringe" that sounds), so it's a difficult situation for me. I won't be deleting any of my posts or art. I don't know what I'll be doing with all of the content I've made but haven't posted, which includes a couple chapters of the Losing Face rewrite. I might turn cQ and cWilbur into actual original characters. I've been thinking about doing a complete redesign either way - the only immediate issue I have is the names, as I can't think of anything that'd fit. If I end up figuring it out, I might try to turn the rewrite of Losing Face into an original story, but that's gonna be very difficult, considering the context needed for the story is Dream SMP lore. The fic is also structured around William Gold's song, which I'll have to obviously change too, if I end up doing anything with it.

If any other tnt duo artists have any thoughts regarding how to tastefully handle this, I'd appreciate it, as honestly, I can't say I'm not still hyperfixated, unfortunately.

For now I'll most likely just see how the situation develops, and decide when my personal life is less of a mess. This whole shit show has hit a little too close to home with my current issues too, so I'll be frank, I don't think I'll be posting anything, regardless of whether it's tnt duo or not.

Anyway, stay safe everyone, and let me know what you think about how i could figure this pickle out

Update: as of now I've decided I'll most likely just keep on creating content of the characters which have belonged to the fandom for years now. The situation with my fic is more complicated, since not just the title is named after the song Losing Face, but also each chapter is named after the song's lyrics, and each of those has been carefully fitted to represent the plot of the chapter. I don't think I feel comfortable with that anymore, and I will have to rework the pacing to fit a different song (I haven't yet decided what song exactly).

[tenjikufag]

hi,, it ifs okay I’d like to be your 🍮 anon! im just wondering if you’d be interested in writing a gojo x male reader? Soft angst to fluff please!

Everything is Temporary.

Gojo Satoru x male reader

-angst (dunno what soft angst is or if this fits), end fluff, no cws

-a/n hello 🍮 anon thank you for the req.

Nothing lasts forever.

Temporary is all there is.

Sure, some things last longer, a class is longer, interactions can be super long, lines can be long, shows, songs, you get it. Things can last awhile

But sometimes lives are longer than others. Just as the others start, another one finishes. Except there’s no clock, no time stamp to see how long you’re here for, how long you have left.

You could only wish that you were fortunate enough to live what was deemed a long life.

But, here you found yourself enrolled in a Jujutsu Society run schooling.. and it’s been all but drilled into your head that things don’t last, not even people.

This occupation that you’d been forced into from birth wasn’t forgiving and was erratic on a good day.

Death announcements were just as common as saying hello to someone in a day.

That’s why it’s so hard to want relationships, to want friendships. But, you could atleast say you *had* friends.

Getou Suguru, although not the most friendly he cared for people.

Shoko Ieiri, blunt and honest. But again, she cared.

And finally

Gojo Satoru.. a loud, criminally annoying smart ass.

He knew he was stronger than everyone, he knew we could only keep up and never beat him. But through this obvious facade of his, you and your friends saw right through him. He wasn’t one to scare for himself, but he worried for you, his friends.

But especially you.

You’d think it would be flattering; but it only came off as condescending and making you feel lesser than the two others in your group..

“I’m just sayin! I’m there to protect ya!”

“I don’t need protecting Satoru! That’s the whole point! Let me go!”

His grip on your uniform was tight, it made your skin feel hot at the close proximity.

Satoru had been trying to stick himself to your hip for this next mission, it was an S Grade. The four of you had been warned immensely beforehand and were told when to retreat if it came to.

Your friend never wanted you to go on these.

He’d never admit that he was deathly afraid of losing you, afraid of watching you die.

“Ugh, I know I can’t stop ya but at-least let me take you out on a date beforehand! Who knows what’s gonna happen!”

There it was. The teasing. The teasing that Gojo had become infamous for.. you never believed a word he said, apparently he says it to everyone so why would it be different for you? Besides, he wasn’t into guys much less you.

“Stop saying shit you don’t mean! It’s rude and makes you look like a jackass!”

Stomping away from him, you didn’t even look back to see the pathetic pout he had..

-

“Yknow Y/n..”

Suguru sat beside you, slouched over his knees and watching the cars pass by

“Satoru doesn’t tease anyone like he does you.. not anymore at least..”

Furrowing your brows, crushed juice box in hand you whipped around to berate your friend

“So he’s got to you now? He doesn’t mean it, I know he doesn’t! Don’t you try-“

“I wouldn’t lie to you, Y/n. Especially not about this stuff..”

You felt deflated, even if it was true.. you couldn’t do it. You couldn’t be in a relationship, not with the life you lived currently.

It was a guarantee that one of you would die, hell you’d be one of the lucky ones to see 25! You’ve had classmates die since you’ve been here, both upper and lower class men!

Why would you entertain it?

Why would you subject yourself to such loss?

“Well, he’s shit outta luck. I don’t even know why I have friends.. my parents told me I shouldn’t have any, they made me promise that I wouldn’t get married aswell..”

“You won’t get married, not that quickly.”

Suguru chuckled, you smacked him upside the head.

“You know what I mean, Suguru.. I don’t think I.. I don’t think I should accept it..”

“So you like him too?”

Your heartbeat picked up, discomfort in the way it made your breathe unstable.. you liked him, didn’t you? A pang in your chest thrummed, guilt for this started festering in your stomach. Why? Why did this have to happen? It was the one rule!

“I’m gonna head back.. make sure to let him down easy..”

Suguru softly smiled at you, clicking his phone closed and stuffing it in his pocket..

—

“You got him admitting it?! Give it! Suguru! Hand it over!”

“Ah! Get off! You’re gonna break my damn phone!”

The two males wrestled to the floor, well more so Satoru tackling his friend down with no real need.. he was gonna get it, he was just impatient.

Phone in hand he sat on his friends back, keeping him down, and pressed play.

The conversation played out, his cheeks heating up at the sound of your voice.. he felt giddy, waiting for the confession.

You confessed you liked him, but then came your rant about friends and relationships.. it broke his heart admittedly but he’s a stubborn guy..

“Hey! Why’d you tell him to let me down easy?! Some friend you are!”

Suguru groaned under the male, shoving him off finally.

“I’m realistic, that’s why. I’m not gonna push him to do something he doesn’t believe in. And you shouldn’t either.”

Satoru chewed his lip, he knew Suguru was right but if the world ended today, he’d want to know that he was yours, and you were his..

“I’m asking him out again. Before the mission!”

Satoru ran out of his dorm, leaving his friend to roll his eyes.. he really hoped it worked out. It was a pain to be the in between because Shoko didn’t like entertaining the two of you.

—

Your mission was a day away. You sat under a tree enjoying the breeze that flowed over your skin and through your hair. This was peace you hadn’t had the opportunity to enjoy in awhile.

And yet again, it was temporary.

The call from your white haired friend cut through the peaceful aura of the area and suddenly the breeze felt like a nuisance- your hair getting in your face and suddenly becoming paranoid of bugs that laid in the dirt.

“Yo! Y/n! I needa talk to you!”

Glancing up, your friend stood above you with a gleaming smile. Sighing, you stood up to follow him to wherever he needed to take you.. but he didn’t take you anywhere but instead held your head between his hands..

“I like you, Y/n.”

It felt like drums were in to ears, your breathe was caught in your throat.. without thinking about it you raised your hand

You slapped him.

He yelped, going to catch your arms before you continued to hit him.

“Don’t say that! Don’t tell me that shit! You know how it makes me feel!”

Anger bubbled over, you screamed at him while thrashing to free your arms.

“Y/n! Calm down! I mean it! With everything I have I mean it!”

You paused, catching your breathe. The way he looked at you made everything hurt, guilt built up again.

“You.. you shouldn’t like me. I can’t.. I can’t be with you.”

“But you can! I promise-“

“You can’t promise anything Satoru! Even if I could be with you, one of us will die and leave the other all alone! It’s not fair, I can’t do that!”

He loosened his grip on you, replacing it with a soft hug. The white hair tickled your ear, feeling him bury his face into your shoulder.

“If you don’t take the chance, how can I say I loved you for my whole life? If I die, how could you say you loved me?”

The ball in your throat kept you from speaking, you felt stiff in his arms.

“I can’t promise forever, I know that.. but I can promise I’ll be there for as long as I can. Just let me try and make it to forever with you..”

He hugged you tighter, telling you of all the sweet, small things he could offer to you if you let him.

“You believe everything is temporary, but I swear I’ll love you for eternity.. please. Give me the chance to show you for as long as I can..”

The breathe you held finally let go, allowing the stiffness in your body melt away- melding your body to his in a tight embrace.

“Okay.. I’ll give it a chance..”

He perked up, moving his face right infront of yours.

“Really?! You’ll be my boyfriend?!”

Your eyebrow twitched.. his cheeky smile on full display

“Is that not just what that was..”

“Cmon!! Ask me! I want it to be official!”

Why is he like this…

“You’re so annoying..

Will you be my-“

His lips smashed onto yours, arms wrapped around your neck. He continued to leave pecks on them, saying ‘yes’ inbetween every single one.

“I’m your boyfriend, you gotta deal with me~ aren’t you so lucky~?”

He sing-songed, bouncing lightly on his toes.

You were taking a chance on this…?

Satoru didn’t wait for you to finish or start saying anything before starting to drag you towards your friends to share the good news.

If temporary took you to end of your life, it wouldn’t be so bad with him and your friends there.. you guessed.

[stranded-ziggy]

Got home from work and tried to draw but I'm just not feeling it so...have some more thoughts since I don't want to go to therapy because frankly I'm too lazy.

So, touch wood but, whatever I was going through in the last couple of months seems to have left and I'm back to feeling a bit more confident and excited for Testosterone but still dreading real life responsibilities like taxes and a dentist appointment next week.

I'm trying to unpack what happened to make me feel like that again...

I think really, it's fun to use labels online and feel like I'm a part of a community but in reality I don't want to transition. I want to just, be a girl and goddamnit be good at it. But I'm just not, wearing make up earnestly makes me feel gross, growing my hair out makes me feel gross.

I feel confident in my short hair (got a long overdue haircut yesterday and maaan the difference it's made), can't leave the house without a binder on and I'm still super self conscious about my wide hips and yet, I just can't really admit to myself I'm actually trans.

I'm afraid of being unlovable, afraid of the people I care about turning against me, afraid I still won't like myself. I have to be really serious about this to take myself seriously and risk the life I only just started building and I've never been serious about anything my whole life.

I'm like Macklemore in that one song where he's adding up the reasons he must not be gay, liking sport and whatever else it was but in my case it's the fact I bought a dress (I probably won't ever wear but it's a colour I like and style I love to draw) and I idolize women like Marilyn Monroe. I put beauty and hygiene on an ultra high pedestal (a flaw, I know, I'll work on it one day when I know how) and sometimes, like what I was just going through, I convince myself I just want to be trans because I know I can't be a conventionally attractive woman. I know that's all ridiculous but I never claimed to have a high IQ, I got just as much brainrot from the internet as everyone else.

In a way I wish I could go back to living in a vacuum like I did when I was a shut in but I know that would just set me back again. But man, having things to lose is scary.

I'm very attached to rural Australia and country life, I probably always will be. Maybe it's just because I'm stubborn but I don't want to go back to the city, I think living standards out here are just so much better, life is just enjoyable. People give shits about each other, I actually have human interactions when I decide to go out shopping. Probably most importantly it's still so un-corrupted by the internet out here, practically no one at work knows what 'cancelled' or 'woke' mean and I love that.

Also, there's so many more queer people out here than in Sydney? It feels like in the city people are trying so hard to conform where out here no one really cares.

Don't get me wrong, the bigots are plenty which is why I bring this up at all. I'm not really scared outside of places people know me though because there's plenty of masculine looking cishet women in rural Australia so I blend right in whether I pass or not. But yeah, finding out people I work with and like suddenly hate me is a horrifying prospect. Enough to make me think I probably won't come out until for whatever reason I switch jobs. Which I hope won't be for a while because I like my work and feel lucky I get to work there.

So yeah, that's where I'm at now if you were bothered to read that, I'm sorry.

I still identify as genderfluid, but in the end I know I have to change things about myself to love myself. I also know there's certain effects of T that would really help me purely from a health perspective, so trans or not I'm trying to get a prescription.

[colekinnie-4life]

Part two of my rant cause I’m not done yet

I’m gonna take a hiatus from talking about the show however, and turn to the movie for a minute

I know, everyone hates the movie

But I don’t care and you can express your opinions towards it here 👉🏼🗑️

Anyways, the whole “being pushed to the side” thing isn’t just a Cole problem, this time, it’s everyone’s problem

All of them except for green bean are planks of wood with basic personalities written on them

Kai- loud

Nya- badass

Jay- shy

Zane- robot

Cole- music

Cole has the least amount of lines in the movie. I counted. He has 45 lines of his own, then a few extra with the other ninja

I like him in the movie too. Not more than og Cole obviously but the movie version is kind of relatable to me because of the whole music thing (I’m obsessed with music)

The song in the end credits says he’s “sarcastic”, but he has no sarcastic lines that I can remember throughout the whole movie

The only mildly sarcastic line I can think of is

“All I know is we really need a ninja master. And you are not a ninja master.”

And that’s not even sarcasm

Anyways, that’s about it for the movie since he does literally nothing

He does way more in the video game version of the movie, but I’m not gonna count that since it’s apparently not canon (booo)

Ok, now time for season 11

HALLELUJAH HE DOES SOMETHING!!

AND WITH KAI SOMETIMES!

Y’all probably know I love lava. It’s so stinking cute and I would be infinitely happy if they turned canon

I mean I think the writers are leaning more towards geode becoming canon, which I am totally not against, I think they’re also super adorable (and I’m not being sarcastic)

For season 11 he doesn’t do much in the fire chapter besides get a new vehicle (with Kai~)

But holy shit, in the ice chapter? He gets lots of stuff to do!

He has the cute-ass interaction with Kai during Fire Maker (insert squealing here)

He loses the travelers tea

He has the dream where everyone hates him

He goes out to find the travelers tree

And he becomes a dad again, this time to Krag

Then he finds out Zane is the ice emperor and he does nothing again :(

To be fair no one does anything besides Lloyd and Zane in this part of the season but oh well

Next season

Prime Empire

Hmmm…

Well he just does whatever the other ninjas do until he blows up

(With Kai~)

Season 13

HALLELUJAH HE GETS A SEASON INSTEAD OF A BADLY MADE 40 MINUTE SPECIAL THATS BASICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO WATCH IN ENGLISH (I watched it on Tubi, you’re welcome)

So I’m not gonna say all the stuff he does this time, but he gets the most amount of attention because- it’s his season

Just go watch Tom Critic’s review of MOTM on YouTube, even though he calls it overrated it’s still a good review and it says everything I need to say

The Island

He’s hungry throughout the whole thing and that’s it :(

But he does trap ronin in a corner

(With Kai~)

Seabound…

Once again, lord have mercy

He does legit nothing and has like 4 lines

To be fair this was the season after Kirby Morrow passed away (rest in peace) so I can respect that

He does do some stuff in that one episode based in ninjago (with Kai~)

Anyways yeah. He gives Queen Vania the fake amulet thingy and that’s it

:(

Season 15, he’s the one who finally gets everyone together. Then a whole lot of nothing happens to him specifically, he’s just doing what everyone else is doing

Until he (and Kai~) get into a car crash and he acts all loopy in save haven (greatest episode of crystallized for obvious reasons)

Then he powers up, takes care of Vangelis through the dumbest “defeat” of all time, then turns into a crystal zombie for 2 seconds and loses his powers

Ughhhhh not again…

They keep losing their powers and it’s getting annoying

Anyways, dragon’s rising

Just a note that this will have MASSIVE spoilers for part two of season two. You have been warned

Anyways, he’s not reintroduced until season 1 part 2

And like clockwork, he has adopted children again!

And he got himself a boyfriend in Geo

Like I said I’m a hardcore lava shipper. But hey, Cole has two hands, and both ships are adorable in their own ways, so I’m a multi shipper

Anyways, he’s in one episode then dips when he starts chasing after Wu’s ghost

Ughhh

Next season he actually kinda does stuff. He just goes along with Zane to find the sorceress or whatever they were doing (kinda forgot- haven’t watched part 1 in a while)

But hey, their duo is always awesome

Part 2 (once again MASSIVE SPOILERS)

He gets kicked off the tournament as soon as he fights off his opponent :(

But hey at least he isn’t shoved into a Chinese sweatshop like last time

Then he follows Wu’s ghost again and finds the new monastery

Then he finds the elemental mech and uses that to help Arin, then he just hangs out in that while fighting the bad guys

Then he- does nothing once again :(

And that’s where we end!

Well, at least with these seasons he, for the majority, got something to do. Sure he ends up mostly just going with what everyone else is doing but he does get his own thing to do sometimes

So these seasons were much better at giving him something to do :)

Anyways- there’s not much else for me to say besides give Cole more to do in season 3 whenever that comes out, and make Geode canon please they’re so cute

I mean I would be happier with lava but-

Ok bye

[chaoxfix]

i have so many fucking thoughts about the miraculous movie.

the motivations and characterization was just seriously rushed. they didn’t show me jack shit, they just needed characters to accomplish certain goals and told us they were doing it and that it made sense, but there was no heart or real motivation.

the songs were generic and had little to no personality, they sound like they were written to be relatable and easily streamable rather than to be character portrayals.

it really feels like they were afraid to really get into miraculous lore, everything was so watered down. it made no sense for them to have a lovesquare rather than ladynoir because adrien and marinette barely interacted.

many of you im sure filled in the gaps by things you know from the series, but that’s not how this movie should function. it’s clearly an au and needs to be standalone. if you hadn’t seen the show, would you really think an adrienette ending made more sense than ladynoir based on how it was set up? on that, were ANY ships set up particularly well? marinette goes from truly being annoyed but chat noir but less than 2 minutes ago was terrified and didn’t want to be ladybug at all but now is sassy to him? not only that but she really wasn’t all that competent and clearly disliked chat, why was he so obsessed with her competence and insistent on being with her? it wasn’t explained well and i felt like the writers just expected me to remember the origins episode instead of what i’d just watched here.

on that note… why does everyone want gabriel to be redeemed so badly? why do you feel it’s so appropriate for him to be redeemed here? not all villains need redeemed. this seems to be the major difference between zag and astruc; chloe and hawkmoth are both redeemed /watered down to be likable in this movie. astruc holds his ground and says some people can be redeemed but not everyone will. like real life. because some people are assholes.

don’t get me wrong, i don’t love lila or chloe’s exaggerated evilness. but 1) it’s a fucking superhero drama, without assholes we run out of secondary conflict inherent to the genre 2) hawkmoths exaggerated evilness is what gives him SPICE, taking it away from him here just leaves him so goddamn bland. oh the terrorist wants to be redeemed bc he was sad about his wife despite saying he had nothing to lose even in the movie with a fucking child? nah. no way. fuck that.

chat noir was fucking weird about his crush. 0/10 from me.

i did like marinettes clumsiness and her general disaster aura and how it has a real effect on whether people like her or want to be around her — the show grew out of this by s2, similar to the montage here, but it’s more prominent here. i like this clumsiness and social anxiety portrayal slightly more. but s1 will always have a bit of my heart for disasternette

very little got explained well; i felt like i was relying on the show for lore to fill in very basic gaps which isn’t good for a standalone movie. the lore in general wasn’t well explained.

the whole time i sort of just wished i was watching this in the show tbh. another what-if situation. i’d love for the alt versions to meet and exchange lives for a day to point out the differences.

no sentimonster adrien here. where is the lore. :(

other ppl said this better but adriens story and motivations are nonexistent or very different to the show to the point of unrecognizability. show adrien wanted friends, movie adrien shuts them out. it’s not necessarily the worst change but it does feel odd.

fart jokes. ://///

nino and alya were cute separately as friends to the lead characters, but the romance subplot between them felt super forced and rushed compared to their real chemistry in the show.

anyways.

the show >>>>>>>>>> the movie

it’s not even a question for me.

also you guys hate on astruc so much but zag seems to be the one watering down characters and making them generic and marketable. astruc has the heart of the series and keeps the characters feeling authentic. he lets them grow in truly unique ways and gives them real goddamn conflict unlike the garbage zag led projects lead to.

[lvminae]

How about Alastor? :P

These answers aren't spoiler free!

My first impression:

It's so hard to say cause that was all the way back in 2019... as far I can recall, he was an immediate fave.

My impression now:

STILL VERY MUCH A FAVE, NOW WITH CONTEXT BEHIND IT. He was already really endearing to me with his sarcasm and clear hidden power (I love me a good villain), the design, etc. Seeing a bit more of his personality ('you don't have to fuck to be fab' from the VA trying to excuse this deer's fruity ass behavior in the episode 7 preview I love it), seeing what gets to him as a character, finding out that he's also got some pretty fucked up shit happening to him? I want to unravel this man like a ball of string.

Favorite thing about that character:

I can't choose one I love so much about him... TBH I think the potential of him might be it. With what we have been given I have so many thoughts and hopes about him. Whether canon lives up to expectations or blows me away, I'll have a lot of fun with him.

Least favorite thing:

If his trivia page is to believed, my man apparently has rancid dental hygiene. I choose to Ignore it.

Favorite line/scene:

So far it is tied between what we saw in the episode 7 preview and his reaction to Husk saying that he is on a leash. Love my man being so close to Losing It.

Favorite interaction that character has with another:

Calling Husk his pet. His little near sing song exclamation of that made my brain go a little rabid.

A character that I wish that character would interact with more:

All of them.... Husk and Niffty, or a focus on Husk. Husk seems to know quite a bit about Al and even (sometimes) has the balls to stand up to him. I want to see more of that.

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character:

Snatcher. It doesn't help that Husk reminds me of Conductor and I dig a fan dynamic of Snatcher doing Soul Shenanigans with the Conductor.

A headcanon about that character:

He has a tail. I think that has been confirmed as not true but you can rip that tail from my cold dead hands.

A song that reminds of that character:

I haven't actually found any that remind me of him that aren't ABOUT him because the genres he likes are outside of my preferred listening range.

I'm gonna link the Time Warp though because I think the music at least is up his alley.

An unpopular opinion about that character:

I don't know what the popular or unpopular opinions are, cause I look for fanart/fan writing and avoid everything else like the plague... A lot of people seem to really be clinging to the idea of him being like a father to Charlie thanks to ep 5, and while it is cute and I wholeheartedly support the content and want more....

That whole debacle was NOT Alastor wanting to be seen as a father figure. It was 100% to get under Lucifer's skin since Luci just completely undermines him/his power (I also have theories about it that can not currently be confirmed so..) Dad!Alastor is great but that's just the Incorrect interpretation canonically speaking.

I still will happily enjoy the fancontent though.

Favorite picture:

HIS LITTLE KICKS

[awakened-omen-art]

Time and Again Shenanigans

I'll be real man, these will probably never be polished or finished so fuck it, y'know? Might as well show off what I have just for the excuse to talk about my boys!!!

MAJOR spoilers for my original work Time and Again obviously. Only the first 2 chapters have been posted but the video contains things I have planned but not written

General Tws: Blood, Gore, Death, Sui

Therefore You and Me

The only animatic I actually finished for these 2. Looking back on it the way the Goddess interacts with Benny reads a bit too romantic which is NOT what I was intending. They're just kinda supposed to be obsessed with him.

They're the one who gave him the gift but after a while, they start seeing Benny as less of their champion and more of the first friend they've had in EONS. So when Benny starts to hate them, even telling them so it uhh... does NOT feel good.

Not gonna fix it though lmao. This shit took so long

This was BEFORE I moved to Krita so this whole project was made in Fire Alpaca for the ability to have onion skin and then each individual frame was exported into Movie Studio 14 and painstakingly edited to the music. It took WEEKS and you can tell where I started to lose steam near the end LMAO.

I only managed to do 2 mock-ups of what the pallet would look like, realized it was going to be SO much work to finish and promptly gave up. Maybe one day I will finally finish it but that day is NOT today

Deathly Loneliness

I was only able to do up until the chorus before the burnout REALLY started to set in.

Seeing as this was an actual animatic and needed actual animation snippets this was like 10 times the amount of work to edit BECAUSE FIREALPACA EXPORTS INDIVIDUAL FRAMES which i had to add in one by one AND THEN COPY PASTE THEM OVER AND OVER TO GET THEM TO LOOP.

Not to mention just to do the little sliding trick I did for them growing up I had to do actual math in Movie Studio cause their transform tool is SO dumb.

It became way too much and I eventually had to give up.

Though now that I have Krita AND I'm re-hyperfixating on it maybe I'll finish one of them. I would REALLY like to have something tangible for them one day.

If you read this far down and are actually interested in them I just posted a ONESHOT of a scrapped confession scene that was too good NOT to share!

And fuck it here's the PLAYLIST too because this is where I do most of my "writing" (adding songs that remind me of their story and then daydreaming scenarios)

Anyways. Benny? Aspen? I love you both so much. One day I WILL finish your story. I PROMMY.

[greatsealed]

have you played fes or portable? it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on how they differ from reload to you!

oh i grew up playing FES & p3p!!!! i would love to go off

i won't lie, persona 3 is an extremely nostalgic and comforting game for me, so i was honestly terrified about a lot of p3r's changes. i remember reading articles months before the game came out about how all of the voice actors for SEES were new and how all of the tracks were gonna be remixed and i was legitimately terrified. i grew up with the original cast and got so attached to them/their careers that i looked up other media that they were in. to this day they are voice actors i can recognize and name right away!

the original soundtrack for p3 is so iconic too and i thought it'd lose its charm when it got remixed, but boy, was i wrong. the new battle theme (it's going down now), the lyrical changes to burn my dread - last battle, even the exam music and changing seasons. UGH, changing seasons has to be my absolute favorite of all of them... adding lyrics to the most catchy part is the best thing they could have done.

i will say (and this might be nostalgia talking), i am still really sad that yumi kawamura got replaced as the singer for nearly every song. i think the main songs that mess with me are the ones where her iconic vocals are replaced ("deep mentality" Specifically doesn't sound right with the new vocals imo), but on the whole, i like a ton of the new songs and the remixes.

onto things that aren't surface-level changes, lmao-

i absolutely adore the screentime they added for strega. they played a part in persona 3, but they were always in the background. chidori got 90% of the screentime. seeing takaya have a crisis over his feelings for the protag & jin being super codependent with takaya was SO good. hearing more about their reasoning and their backstory being more fleshed out ugh;;; the bit with the prototype evoker fucked me up especially. and seeing takaya eventually resort to using an evoker in his boss fight? HURTS

(aigis vc) RYOJI RYOJI RYOJI, DEATH DEATH DEATH. the original game (while playing as the male protagonist, at least) did not focus on the relationship between him and the protag, like...at all. which is so funny because they made it a highlight in the manga AND the movie! i've always loved ryoji to bits, but i've also had to rely a lot on the femc's route and the movie to think about how they could have bonded in the original :( thank god reload gave my boy more content because he NEEDED it. ryoji's connection to the protagonist should really be emphasized in every piece of media, and they FINALLY did it. also just about every day before i reached november, i would rant to my husband about how "there needs to be more ryoji/protag content. it doesn't HAVE to be on the level of "i'd love you even if you were a boy" but i need SOMETHING." and then atlus smacked me with "i want to be something more" and i LOST IT. THEY DID THE THING. atlus embracing the romantic tension between them MY BELOVED. (in case it isn't obvious, ryomina is my favorite ship)

SHINJIRO. the first time i played persona 3, i really didn't care for him (i've never liked characters who are stand-offish and constantly push people away without apparent reason). it was only after i realized the greater backstory that i learned to appreciate and sympathize with his character, and imo, one of p3r's greatest additions was the ability to interact with shinjiro and ken before shit goes down. shinjiro's plotline where you try to convince him to go back to school is devastating, especially when (spoilers) you find a re-enrollment form filled out in his room. absolutely fucking HEARTBREAKING. i already cried during his death (way more than i did in the original game, which is kinda crazy), but damn, they got tears out of me AGAIN with that one. i also noticed that there's a lot more foreshadowing and it is SO effective. i already went off about this on my shinjiro blog, but damn, they fucking nailed it with him.

FRIENDSHIP ROUTES!!! i can't tell you how frustrating it was trying to balance social links between all of the girls. it made me lean more into focusing on yukari (best girl) and nobody else lmao. one of the points of persona 3 was that social links were near-impossible to complete, and they really realized that goal with the girls imo. however!! getting to see the protagonist opt for friendships is really sweet. i love seeing a good rejection where neither party holds a grudge or feels humiliated. it's a really nice touch, especially because i've always wanted to see how friendships would pan out between the mc and the Gorls.

general quality of life changes & the addition of theurgy. i love that theurgy had more depth to it than just a "super move;" looking at the personality conditions is so nice and adds more to the characters than they already had. seeing that shinjiro's resolve deepens when his hp is less than half made me so :'))))

those are big things i love about p3r's changes. aside from the protag not being able to change weapons (my favorite part of original p3), i think the biggest complaint i have is that they left out the answer (p3p has been ported to modern consoles, so you can still experience the femc's route, but the answer is ONLY on ps2 to this day), and even then, i've read that they're planning to add it as dlc.

i've said this before and i'll say it again: i know people have gripes with the answer, but i absolutely adore it. it's the most realistic portrayal of grief among the dorm, which hits differently for EVERYONE. every single change to their personalities makes sense, especially taking their reliance on the protagonist into account. it's made so much more obvious in p3r (which i love), but everyone cares deeply about the protagonist. losing him is a devastating blow. and then aigis gaining his power? yukari is SO justified for being distraught and jealous. that's the realest shit i've ever seen.

also the fights between them because they can't decide whether to go to the past or look to the future...the entirety of the answer is heartbreaking because it hits so hard. yukari, who (aside from aigis) was hit the hardest by losing the protag, obviously wants to go to the past, back to a time when he was alive. the others either want to compromise or move on. the answer is about accepting life's hardships and finding a way to move on and that's beautiful. it's always hit so hard for me.

that's not even delving into metis and aigis UGH... i could go off about the answer forever.

as for p3p-

i played p3p nearly every day when i was in middle / high school. i'd bring my psp to school and play it religiously. i still remember blasting "heartful cry" on my ipod and playing p3p on the bus, lmao.

it's not my favorite iteration of persona 3 now (p3p was good for travel + when i was in school and needed something to get me through the day), but i do have a soft spot for how much effort was put into the femc's route. i will say that i'm not as devastated as a good chunk of the fandom that the femc isn't in p3r or even p3d, but i do love her character and i hope she's also eventually added as dlc (if they're gonna add the answer, then why not add femc again?). i'm really glad she was included in pq2 though, ESPECIALLY because there were so many validating twin moments between her and the male protagonist :')))

i will say, as a final note, that p3r REALLY nailed the feeling of original p3, but i think it made me way more emotional with how it was executed. i've PLAYED the game a million times! i knew every plot detail, i knew exactly how the game would play out (aside from the new additions), and i STILL sobbed several times by the end of the game. i've said this to my husband, but p3r was so well-executed that i felt like i was playing the original game for the first time!! and as someone who has experienced the game MANY times, that's such an incredible feat. i adore the remake. i'm so glad that none of my initial fears were warranted.

for once: thank you, atlus.

[nobodypunk]

Avatar Way of Water Jumbled Thoughts SPOILERS AHEAD

So initially, it was very pretty. Visually stunning. We all know that.

I was so happy to see Jake and Neytiri again, I was pumped to just to be on Pandora again. I’ve split up my opinions in sections:

This Family is a Fortress:

I loved seeing Jake and Neytiri’s family. I loved the song bead opening and the ending, that was a very nice round way to tell the story. The kids all had their own distinct personalities and stories to tell which I feel can be hard to portray in sequel films especially with more than one kid. I loved Jake’s balancing act of being a father, I love that Neytiri didn’t lose any of her grit while being a mother. I will say I felt it was very strange for them to leave the Ometikaya. The planet is under threat again, I know it’s personal, but I felt like them leaving the people we spent an entire film with to fend for themselves was unnatural. I would have been down for a whole clan relocation, but whatever. I do think their refugee angle was compelling and it offered that “whole new world” angle to it. Neteyam and L’oak’s relationship was very nice, very much early Prince of Egypt vibes, I could sense as we got closer to the end of the film that Neteyam was for sure going to die. But again it was very round and it was pretty well done. Kiri, my little nature girl, I love. I loved her vibes, I live for Sigourney, but I’ll get back to her later. Tuk was precious baby, in too many dangerous situations but I guess I’m not mad if it gave her more screen time. Aaaand Spider, I liked having a child raised by scientists involved with the tribal lifestyle of his peers. I wish that they had utilized that more. I’ll also get back to him.

The Colonel Debacle: Attack of the Clones:

Quaritch…. I am so mad about everything to do with his return and the “sky people” narrative in this film. First of all, in the first film they express that making an Avatar body is extremely expensive and a huge undertaking. They invited Jake in the first place because his DNA was compatible with his dead twin’s Avatar, so they wouldn’t just be pouring their money down the drain. And again, this was a mining endeavor, it wasn’t military. All the “military” we see are mercenaries. So why would a mining company put replicating their expendable mercenaries high on their spending list? They wouldn’t. Just like we saw, the new colonization attempt just brought in more military force, so why bring back a team of 9(?)mercenaries that died into specific Avatar bodies?(Also felt like there were a lot killed, but too many of them by the end of the film?) The plot tries to explain it away “to be bigger, stronger, to blend in with the natives” not once did they blend in though (THEY WERE BAREFOOT IN CAMO???), not once did being Avatars actually bring them the upperhand. AND just plugging in memories to the body, why didn't they do that with Grace? Or Jake’s twin for that matter? I also feel like Quaritch would be SO against cloning in general! “It’s not the real me” blah blah blah Let alone in an Avatar body! Also BALD SUNGLASSES GUY??? REALLY??? Sorry, I’ll die on this hill. What made Quaritch a good villain is that he was a weapon of mass destruction, evil and toxic masculine to the core and he just kept coming. His death was so satisfying in the first movie because of it. It feels like such a cop out to bring him back, all satisfaction lost and it really just looks like little Jamie C couldn’t write any other villain and that’s lazy.

Okay so they’re clones and they’re there. Now you have identity conflict, I feel like if they were going this route, have the clones have a moral and identity crisis to the CORE I would have loved that narrative of realizing that their original selves were wrong. But Quaritch, while we did see some struggle in identity, decided to have a vendetta against Jake Sully! It was interesting to see his interactions with Spider, still feel like OG Quaritch wouldn’t give two shits to learn the language (he didn’t in the first place) or about “becoming Navi”. And I’ll talk about some of my issues with Spider as well here. I felt like he needed to show more motivation about showing them to be Navi to grow their sympathy, but it felt like show and tell. I also felt like he should be more reactive and more upset at everything they were doing, it felt like he was just watching and strangely apathetic most of the time. Quaritch burning that village to the ground and deciding to go after the Tulkun instead of just murdering everyone felt out of character, but that can all be traced back to— this is a clone. Quaritch was a genocidal maniac and I expect him to just be exactly that. I don’t exactly want to go on a sympathetic redeem the villain story with him (even if his clone “didn’t do that”). I don’t hold it against Spider for saving the clone in the end but I am mad at Jamie C for keeping him around. I am so done with Quaritch’s story. I was more than done in the first movie, let alone this one.

SKY PEOPLE. So I felt that the threat of the sky people was FAR GREATER in this movie than the last because instead of just “we want the rocks you're sitting on” it’s just straight up old fashioned colonization!! They are coming for the planet!! I don’t understand why this film wasn’t about nipping THAT in the bud, you didn’t need Quaritch, that would have been compelling enough. The way they landed, cLEARING the forest with fire NEAR the Ometikaya homeland was HORRIFIC, but the plot treats it like whatever. Though it makes a little sense (ahem MARS) for Humans to want to settle here, I still think it doesn’t make sense? The air is toxic, the wildlife is huge and dangerous, I just don’t think Pandora is “the promised land” GO SETTLE ON TITAN OR SOMETHING. I can make room in my brain for a mining mission, but full colonization? No thanks. General Lady had smaller exoskeleton armor because Lady, was so fun and she was just there to explain stuff. I was expecting there to be some differences in the suits and technology too, given the time skip. Jamie C was like I LOVE SPIDERS AND 3D PRINTERS. And I still don’t understand the Avatar Marine’s mission. It just felt like a personal murder party??? Like no real orders???? I’m just generally mad about all of these decisions. They felt lazy and under-baked. I WAITED 12 YEARS FOR THIS?!?

Kiri is Avatar Jesus:

Kiri, Kiri, Kiri… While I love her… I have some issues with how she came about and her role. Kiri has come from an intubated version of Grace…. (though I do not remember Grace’s Avatar body dying. I can see if they put her in stasis but it seemed as though this was a clone) Clone gets pregnant…. So (iF this is Grace’s original Avatar) either Avatar Norm and Avatar Grace were messing around for science or Eywa was like guess what I’m not bringing you back to life but I’ll make your Avatar preggers with my spiritual baby ALA Bible style. OR if this is a clone, somebody was just messing around in the lab. Either way science immaculate conception needs to stop please. I would have almost preferred it if Grace meant so much to Jake and Neytiri that they implanted one of Grace’s eggs in Neytiri. (which is still weird but not as weird as space jesus ANAKIN ALREADY TOOK THAT SPOT) 

And Kiri’s Eywa powers. It’s really screaming white savior yet again. Kiri is born of an Avatar, not native and yet again Eywa has chosen an alien to be her chosen one. It’s just bad. It isn’t right. 

I also thought her Epilepsy was going to play a bigger role in the rest of the movie but it was just a plot device for Quaritch to find them?

The Metkayina:

THEY ARE SO COOL I’M ALL ABOUT THE EVOLUTIONARY CHANGES TO THEIR BODIES, I LOVE THEIR ARM FINS, TAILS, AND LARGE RIBS FOR BREATHING. On a sciency note, I found it interesting that they chose to make their tails swim left to right like a fish instead of up and down like an aquatic mammal. I loved the ocean, I loved the quiet moments we just got to explore and soak in the surroundings, I loved the sign language and the breathing. I was all about it. FREE WILLY SIGN ME UP, I WANNA TALK TO WHALES. The Tulkun were so charming and I loved them. THERE’S ALWAYS A BIGGER FISH. But yeah, big big fan. I wish that we got to see some female friendships? Jamie C is big sexist. Neytiri disappeared for much of this part. I wanted to see Kiri and Tsireya vibing, and Ronai and Neytiri finding common ground as Matriarchs. 

Ferngully 2: Whale Hunting Palooza Electric Boogaloo Payakan’s Revenge:

So the new colonizers are here for unobtanium 2.0 (even though they sound like they’ve been here for a while, even though the sky people were driven out???) We went for the forest in the last movie, now it’s time to go after the animals! We have the hunter that is here to be way too excited about poaching, and the scientist that has been a part of this the whole time but is Jamie C’s favorite trope of “sympathetic moral high ground scientist who has no accountability whatsoever because the big mean corporation is paying him to do it”. It’s just so tired. I hated unobtanium 2.0, magic gland fluid that stops human aging????? Like come on, I could get down for a stupid rock with a stupid name, but really????????  Payakan’s revenge was satisfying. I felt like the Metkayina disappeared randomly after that.. And with Quaritch going after the Tulkun, and ultimately attacking the sea people, it was still kinda Jake’s fault for endangering them. I feel like if they just lived on an island close but separate from the people, it would have worked out better??? Idk

James Cameron and casting problems:

Jamie C didn’t fix any of his writing issues with indigenous people. It was still white savior, take advantage of indigenous narratives, and sexualized native women. And at the end he was like “I directed Titanic, remember????” Man with everything he put Neytiri through I was surprised she didn’t turn to Jake and go “I want a divorce”. 

I also have major issues with the casting. I was fully expecting at least mixed boys playing Neteyam and L’oak but they were WHITE! And Kate Winslet is wonderful but she was playing an indigenous islander woman??? I just think it was a big mistake and honestly it kept taking me out of the movie. 

His action sequences are great but the plot was very convoluted and he definitely needs a wake up call to fix his narrative, work with native people, and cast people of color. Zoe’s back hurts from carrying both of these movies.

[deadthingposting]

Ofmd rewatch ep 6 the art of fuckery

So

I know that there is some profound and interesting takes about this episode and any interpretation I could ever have would be probably already said in better words by someone else

That being said

The thing of Ed being the kraken or rather creating it to himself as the monster that killed his father to not feel guilt despite how much his dad was a monster it's really one of the most beautiful plots n the show

His panic attack the actual self hate the way that he says he has no friend the facade of strength and being heartless while craving humanity he asks why stede has a bird guy but made fang put his dog out it's such a duality of his performative strength and violence developed for survival vs actual wish for a softer gentler world he craves to live in

I fucking love him

And I kinda understand Izzy's behavior here going back to violence as a protection if the world stops fearing Blackbeard how well they can truly do for themselves, but also I feel like most of his behavior it is purely a misplaced or misunderstood jealousy (romantic of platonic it is jealousy) and a fear of being left behind

That being said the duel it's one of my favorite scenes as we can truly see Izzy getting erratic out of anger to the point of actually allowing himself to be distracted and eventually losing

I saw a post once saying why people include Ivan on the whole "revenge found family ™" because he isn't really into the whole getting included compared to fang at least and I may say I disagree with this, like there are some scenes showing him being as fed up with Izzy's bs and interacting with the others in the background and also I want him to be part of the found family god damnit.

Lucius finger plot it's disgusting but hilarious and the pay off with the first Lucius/Pete kiss it's lovely

Now some questions:

How many people from Blackbeard's crew are onboard? Cause In the fuckery demonstration there's a lot of shit going on, it's just fang Ivan those two nameless guys I love and Ed?

I'm concerned about the reason of the fuckery, did they just terrified some guys for nothing?

Does wee John counts as a catboy? and if yes can I sexualize him as such?

Overall this episode made me cry fell disgust think about that Front bottoms song -father and laugh about Izzy's bad not good constantly getting worse months

Rating 🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙 five kraken metaphors for your own violence so you don't have to face your own fears

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

🛠️🤡🥺🧐🎶

Hey Tina thank you for the ask <3333333333

🛠 What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

I use Scrivener (a paid app; it's a one-time purchase of about 50$, a bit less for students). I really like it because it lets me keep my entire WIP in one place while still separating it into parts that I can easily switch between. I can also have folders in a project that aren't a part of the draft which is where I put my large outline for instance.

(Spoiler-ish for ILTY chapter 3)

The window looks like this, and it's just really nice how I can have my chapter outline on the right to not lose sight of where I'm going and also with one click navigate to older chapters to double-check something to make sure I'm maintaining continuity lol. Also, I like that it's always showing me the word count (but MS Word has more recently added that feature, so). I'm just a lot more comfortable here than in Office tbh and like not having to deal with specific pages (though I can set it in page view, which I do sometimes to find out how many pages the whole story would be lol).

Also, one time I tried drawing a character arc overview on my iPad but I haven't really been using it in the end lol.

It looks like this (slight spoilers for ILTY chapters 4-8, I cropped out unpublished stuff; if you've read that far [and can read my handwriting], you'll notice I didn't actually incorporate all of these things lol)

Legend: Green is John, blue is Paul, purple is George, pink is Cyn, red is Ringo,* yellow is just actual dates with specific events, white is the relevant chapter title.

*based off their actual stated favourite colours (from those Beatles trading cards lmao). Feel bad about making Cyn pink; it's not cause Girl! it's cause it fit into my colour scheme LOL.

Anyways, as you can tell I am very normal about my fic writing sdfhdsfgklhdfsklgdfhskjldfs.

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

I'm probably the only one who finds this really funny but I love it when Paul explains music with word salad.

Also every time I write Jane literally NOT giving a shit about the John-centric plot, I almost can't deal. She's my comedienne.

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

I'm a huge softie for any type of tender interactions, especially with Julian tbh. I just like calm moments when characters just share a little moment and smile at each other. Even if the overall story gets very bleak I can't help but weave in a short scene like that from time to time, which to me feels very realistic. That's what Get Back is after all! 🥹🥹🥹

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

YES. I literally wasted my entire Friday morning commute trying to figure out the most minor of details about flights in the 60s. If I think it's verifiable, I will try to verify it and sometimes waste upwards of an hour on tiny trivialities. Worst time was when I was gonna describe Lennon-McCartney as going together "like cream and coffee" and tried to confirm they definitely actually liked coffee so that the comparison felt true to the atmosphere 😭😭😭

But I also like the extreme research because it kind of forces me to gain more knowledge about this band and their time period with regards to aspects I wouldn't think to research otherwise!

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

Sometimes! Usually I don't but it happens; I tend not to if I'm on the train cause there's already a lot of distracting stimuli going on, but I might at home. I'm often thinking about my current chapter's song and listening to it when I'm not actually writing, though. Each chapter is an entire mini musical phase tbh. So I've been listening a lot to the next chapter's song, which is [SPOILER, though you can figure it out if you look hard enough >:)].

[cantaloupe-draws]

El Chico del Apartamento 512

Irl! Quackity x Female! reader

Summary: Nothing interesting ever happens in the apartment complex you live in. It’s the same old routine for you. Constantly turning down your neighbor and heading too and from your apartment. Well that’s up until you meet the very cute boy that lives in apartment 512 that you can never seem to gather the courage to talk too. To make make matters worse, he shows up to the cafe you work at

Switches from Reader’s s POV to Quackity’s POV at the very end

Genre: Song fic, fluff, somewhat cafe trope, strangers to lovers, crushes

Warnings: use of Quackity’s real name, creepy neighbor, cursing, and I think that’s about it

Song :El Chico del Apartamento 512 by Selena

Lyrics are in bold

—

Every day is the same down the corridor

Every day it’s the same old thing. I pass the same old doors as I make my way towards my own at the end of the corridor. Counting the room numbers as I pass.

“508, 509, 510,-“ I count and but as soon as I reach room 511 the door suddenly swings forward and I’m greeted by both a whistle and Chad, my neighbor.

“Y/n baby I keep on waiting for you to go on a date with me like you promised,” Chad said as he stood in front of his door frame, right arm resting on the door. “I need to show you around town,” he said with a smirk as he rested his face on his fist.

I scoffed as I moved away from him, “The only thing you need right now is an urgent shower. You stink like a pig and it’s absolutely disgusting. Besides, I never promised you anything” I said, trying to continue on my way, but Chad just kept getting more and more persistent with every rejection. His nagging was getting annoying.

“Come Y/n I’ll take you to this bar across town, I’ll even pay for your drinks” he kept persisting.

You would think that any decent guy that’s asking you out on a date would obviously pay for them himself. It’s a given but this is Chad we’re talking about. I was sick of his terrible date ideas and I had to face him once again.

“Listen, I don’t know how many times I’ve told you this and how many times I’ll have to repeat it but, I don’t want to go on these stupids dates with you,” I told him as I rejected for what seemed to be the millionth time. And as soon as I said that the door beside us swung open.

Out came a young man wearing a navy blue cap that was covering almost the entirety of his hair but still managed to expose small tufts of dark brown hair from the sides. He looked up at the predicament Chad and I were both in and I was able to get a good look at him.

He had almond-shaped eyes that were a dark brown color and had various beauty marks scattered around his face. He was attractive. Very VERY attractive. Oh no I’m in deep shit, I thought to myself as I quickly turned away when I felt that I was staring at him for too long. He turns away from us and heads towards the elevator doors.

I stayed stunned for a few moments then turned to face Chad again, completely red in the face, dumbfounded, and at a complete loss for words. But before Chad could get another word out I quickly rushed to my apartment and leaned my back against the door once I got inside. My heart is beating fast and my chest feels tight and constricted. I quickly got myself a glass of water from my faucet and though it helped with my fast heart rate, it didn’t help the butterflies swarming around in my stomach. It might sound crazy but I think I’ve just met the man of my dreams.

Ever since then, I’ve made sure to take my sweet time walking down the corridor in hopes to see the cute boy from apartment 512 again. I’ve gone as far as to purposely make small talk and fake my interest in Chad in hopes to see him once more.

—

The boy from apartment 512 the one who makes my poor heart beat fast.

I walked into the elevator quickly pressing the button towards the first floor when I heard someone yell “HOLD THE DOOR PLEASE!”

Loud footsteps came barreling towards the elevator. The yell of itself was enough to get my blood pumping but, to make matters much worse it was the cute boy from apartment 512 who was coming towards me.

“Thank you so much,” he said out of breath once he got inside. He offered me a smile of gratitude as the elevator doors closed. I noticed that he wasn’t wearing a cap this time but, instead he was sporting a grey beanie with red and blue stripes.

‘He’s the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my entire life’ I internally screamed to myself.

“Yeah, no problem” I responded quietly in hopes I wouldn’t make a fool of myself.

Even if there weren't more than two pieces of dialogue uttered between us, it was enough for my heart to beat faster than the speed of light.

—

The boy from apartment 512 who causes me to stutter like I've never done before.

I was manning the cashier station at the cafe I worked at. It was filled to the brim with people who were either typing away on their laptops or having a conversation with their friends.

But on this day, I had finally learned his name.

The busy atmosphere had me tackling customers' orders from left to right, “Hello, may I take your order?” I said as the next customer approached me.

But surprisingly enough, I was greeted by a familiar face.

The cute boy from apartment 512.

“Yes, hello I would like a caramel macchiato please,” he said and I felt my face go red instantly.

Oh my god, it’s him again, I thought as I knew that my brain would start to scramble once more. “O-of course. Coming right up, n-name?” I asked him as I completely stumbled on my words.

“Alex,” he said, “Okay A-Alex your name will be called out when your order is ready,” I tell him as I continue on with my work.

My coworkers had never seen me lose composure like that. It was clear that they would never let me live this down but even if I made a complete fool of myself in front of him, a huge part of me also just wants to keep talking to him both night and day.

—

But today I have finally truly decided to confess my love to him

I mentally prepared myself for the next time I interacted with Alex. I’ve finally decided that the next time I would run into him, I would finally ask to get to know him better in hopes that one day friendship will blossom into a wonderful relationship. A giddy laugh escaped me as I thought of the idea.

The cafe was busy as usual, with the same groups of people coming in. As it hit peak rush hour the line of customers just kept getting longer and longer and I was attempting to quickly attend to them to the best of my ability. Somehow, this was not enough to deter the feelings of butterflies in my stomach.

I knock on his door and I get goosebumps,

a blonde answers the door and my heart breaks

As I heard the bell above our door ring once more I raised my head and saw him, Alex. He was holding the door open for a woman as she walked in. They stood close together as they waited in line. This might seem like a bit of an exaggeration but when I saw them conversing together waiting in line the butterflies that were once fluttering disappeared and were replaced with dread. As my heart dropped, I realized that one thing was wanting to be friends with him but, that doesn’t change the fact that I had grown feelings for him. If he’s in a relationship then, what now? I felt lost as to how to handle this.

As the line in front of me kept getting shorter and shorter, I was becoming anxious as his turn was approaching. Though as it was almost the pair’s turn to order, Alex suddenly turns around and leaves the line and when his turn arrives he still wasn’t there. Despite this, I still went ahead and tended his apparent girlfriend.

I truly felt my heart breaking into pieces when suddenly she asked:

"Were you looking for my brother?"

“Hello, may I take your order?” I asked her, “Yes, can I have a vanilla latte please? But um, can we wait a couple of minutes for my brother? He went to the restroom and didn’t tell me his order,” she asked. Then the realization hit me like a ton of bricks, this was his sister. I’m so dumb, how could I’ve not realized the resemblance between them?? “Yeah that’s no problem” I finally responded.

Soon enough Alex came rushing towards his sister, “I’m so sorry for the wait” he said once he reached the both of us. “Just hurry it up. I’ll be waiting for you at the table” His sister said as she turned her back to the both of us.

Turning my attention to him as I rang up his order he then speaks up “You’re one of my neighbors aren’t you?” He asks me with a grin. I stop in my tracks as if I’m a deer in headlights.

“Yeah I am actually” I smile at him trying to muster enough courage to continue our conversation.

“I thought so, you were the one who held the elevator door for me the other day right? Also, the one who was yelling at my neighbor.”

My face instantly goes red as I thought back to the first time I met Alex. “In my defense he deserved it. He’s been harassing me ever since I’ve moved in” I shudder at the thought of Chad.

“Yeah I’ve realized that he really is a douche, he enjoys banging on the damn walls at three in the morning” he said as we laugh together at the stupid things Chad has done.

“Okay, okay you’re order will be out shortly,” I tell him with a smile, feeling my heart skip a beat. But Alex doesn’t move from the line.

“To be honest the whole reason I even came here wasn’t really for a drink or anything.” He said gazing towards the floor and rubbed the back of his neck.

“This might be a bit sudden because we’ve barely met but I wanted to actually ask you for your number since you seem really nice and you’re very pretty. If you’re not interested then that’s fine, I’ll just take my drink and go” Alex said sheepishly.

After I heard these words I found myself dumbfounded. At a complete loss for words. ‘DID HE JUST SAY THAT??? HOW DO I RESPOND???’ and from there my mind was absolutely speeding to the point where I just stood there. ‘HURRY UP AND DO SOMETHING!!!’ I yelled at myself, but yet still nothing managed to escape. Alex began to fidget more and more playing with his hands as I just stood there without a response.

“It’s okay, I’ll just go now.” Alex quickly said leaving.

—

Alex’s POV

‘SHIT. FUCK. MOTHERFUCKER. STUPID IDIOT.’

I cursed at myself while I walked towards my sister. Laying my head on the table, covering it in utter embarrassment.

“That didn’t go well, did it?” My sister said while casually scrolling through her phone. “And here you were boasting about how much of a smooth talker you were. You sir, just got rejected.”

“Will you shut up?” I groaned at her not raising my head. I’m already embarrassed out of my mind and she is not making it any better.

“Fine fine, you big baby I’ll go get our drinks and then you can go home and cry.” She said standing up as our orders were called.

‘God, why did I think it was a good idea to bring my sister along? How had it not crossed my mind? I hadn’t even given it a second thought as to what I was gonna do if I did get rejected. And to make matters much worse I just got rejected in front of my sister. I will never hear the end of it at family reunions. I’m already mentally digging my grave when I heard my sister come back.

“I think this one is yours” She said as she placed my drink in front of me. I raise my head slightly so I would be able to see what was in front of me. I looked at my cup as it said:

‘To the cute boy from apartment 512’

‘xxx-xxx-xxxx -Y/n’

—

A/N- So this is the first time I’ve ever wrote fan fiction before, I mainly stick to drawing so please excuse any mistakes I tried my best. But I hope you liked it over all. Also the lyrics in English don’t make as much sense as they do in Spanish, and it’s was bugging me so if they seem a bit odd you know why.

A special thanks to @tofuyami she really helped me with the brainstorming and editing process <3

@hungoverhellhound @cherrysirin @tofuyami @nealocus @struggling-with-time @bugsinmycoldsoup @venusacrossthestars @galaxygnf

Also stand Selena always -🍈

[preemshots]

the definitive post of WHERE IN THE WORLD IS JOHNNY SILVERHAND’S BODY?

AKA the post of HERE’S WHY I WANT TO BELIEVE WE ARE GONNA GET JOHNNY’S BODY BACK IN DLC. 

buckle up, gamers. it's time for some lore. this is a very long post. 

warning: this will contain a million spoilers. both for details of multiple game endings, a wee bit of the “where’s johnny” comic, and the cyberpunk RED book. if you want a sparknotes version this is the post for you. my main source here is the cyberpunk RED book as well as as some references to the cyberpunk 2077 world book to cross examine the lore. 

i have no idea if someone has made this post before or what anybody else has been finding in their own lore diving. this is just me documenting my own findings from the sources i’ve been using.

it would be disingenuous not to preface this with the ways in which cyberpunk 2077's telling of the arasaka assault differ from the version told in the TTRPG books. the books =/= the game. pondsmith acknowledges in the intro of RED that this is a bridge between the old cyberpunk world and the new world of cyberpunk 2077. 

we also know that johnny's an unreliable narrator and his memories presented to V are often different than real events. but on top of that we don't know if the reason why many elements are changed is simply CDPR editing/adjusting/condensing the storyline for their own canon, or if it's due to johnny's construct being manipulated by outside influences such as arasaka.

some of the main differences you need to know from cyberpunk RED canon:

in 2023 johnny doesn't bring the nukes to arasaka tower. he's solely there to free alt.

johnny and rogue and their team from the atlantis/the aldecaldos are actually hired by morgan blackhand. 

morgan blackhand is the one who plants the nuke, unbeknownst to many members of the team. 

morgan blackhand promptly disappears after this event and no one knows if he's alive or dead. (claire confirms this fact to jackie and v before the heist in 2077 canon)

johnny's silver cybernetic arm is its own character, separate from himself. it seems to have a mind of its own and johnny interacts with it and/or is influenced by it.

when he, spider murphy, rogue, thompson, shaitan, and a team of los lobos from the aldecaldos (who are there in place of santiago, as he’s busy as the leader of the aldecaldos at this point) are attacked by adam smasher, johnny and his arm actively choose to draw smasher's fire in a deliberately suicidal move. smasher downs him instantly, but the distraction is enough to also save his friends.

spider murphy shoves a mysterious chip in johnny's dying head as they escape that alt had downloaded to her a long time ago.

johnny's body is later "rumoured" to have been retrieved from the rubble by a full-body borg groupie that was a first responder to the ground zero of AHQ and then hidden away in a nearby garage.

here comes the political lore that makes my eyes cross, so hopefully this accurately summarizes it: the 4th corporate war begins to end. arasaka is ultimately blamed by the NUSA government to have nuked themselves in a political move to protect their secrets and promptly banished from the USA. arasaka denies this all the way back to japan, then eventually returns to “liberate” night city in the unification wars.

but what the public doesn't know is that kei, saburo's oldest son, had actually hidden an EVEN BIGGER MORE DEVASTATING NUKE at the bottom of the tower to, well, do exactly what they were being accused of doing, even though blackhand was the one who actually dropped the smaller nuke on them. and luckily the bigger one didn’t go off.

arasaka tries to find their nuke in the rubble so they don't get in even bigger trouble, only to discover that it was moved and hidden away to... surprise! a nearby garage.

to compare with 2077:

in RED: we have no johnny loading the nukes into the elevator. no johnny being carried off the premises. no meeting saburo. no johnny getting soulkilled.

in 2077: there's a parallel moment to RED's version of events right after johnny uploads "liberator" from alt's old cyberdeck with spider's help into the arasaka mainframe in saburo's office. adam smasher comes for him as he's trying to escape, knocking him off the second floor of the atrium into the rock garden below.

visually this is the same atrium we always meet alt in in cyberspace and also where V meets johnny for the first time. hmmm. meaningful, perhaps.

not unlike what happens in RED, johnny unloads a clip into smasher at that point, but from there the scene instantly cuts to him running to the roof attempting to board the AV with rogue, where smasher shoots him down again. it’s possible johnny actually died to smasher in the atrium and we have some fabricated memories going on. 

either way, in 2077, we lose the character beat of johnny dying for his friends, and the current-day general consensus from rogue and others is that he’s perpetually a selfish asshole with ulterior motives. 

and, just to wrap up the politics of it all: morgan blackhand is rumoured to have been secretly hired by the militech-backed NUSA government to help end the 4th corporate war by... you guessed it! nuking arasaka.

HERE'S WHERE JOHNNY'S BODY ENDS UP IN CYBERPUNK RED (SPARKNOTES VERSION):

RED ends with a story called "black dog" set in 2045. black dog is the last song johnny recorded right before the assault on arasaka tower, but the final copy is a bootleg copy of the song and only a fraction.

we're introduced to a fun group of cybernetic-enhanced characters that represent the classes in the TTRPG and based on/designed by real people in collaboration with CDPR.

this group includes trace santiago, santiago's son, who is a media that is curious about the mystery surrounding the circumstances around his father and the arasaka bombing. 

just connecting lore here: if you talk to saul at the aldecaldo camp in 2077, he confirms that santiago was killed for his involvement with johnny and the bombing, something that rogue and johnny reference when they talk about their now-dead crew from the afterlife, and in chippin in, santiago is a friend that johnny lists as someone he had disappointed.

the group sets off to find any info about black dog, and meet up with a full conversion chrome woman named samantha in a garage who is blatantly a johnny silverhand fangirl. trace discovers she has a history with johnny, having rescued him from a studio fire at some point in 2015 and speculates she could have been a groupie also.

she mysteriously has a more complete recording of black dog, though not perfect, and offers to trade it for a service: she wants the group to transport a large crate to a facility in new mexico, asking them not to open it.

shit goes down. evidently everyone in night city wants to kill them for this package once it starts moving. eventually they open it. it's the arasaka nuke that had been hidden and never went off, emblazoned with warnings.

trace inquires about the circumstances surrounding the arasaka assault with an older member of the lobos who had been present with rogue and johnny. the man mentions that it was weird, because morgan blackhand organized the whole thing and then ran off immediately with a mysterious bag that we now know contained the nuke. 

michiko arasaka intercepts the gang, explaining the situation around the bigger nuke, that other factions in arasaka want to utilize it for their own goals (presumably hanako and yorinobu) and her father's legacy, that she feels responsible for. she escorts them to new mexico so that the nuke can be dismantled once and for all.

they meet up with a woman named angel in new mexico that takes the crate from them, at a facility that specializes in nuclear material. she gives the group the full recording of "black dog". the group leaves successful.

this woman is also a johnny silverhand stan. once alone, she calls up samantha, who says, "i promised i would get him to you in the end" and reveals that she had already gutted/dismantled the original nuke and discarded the material into the bay.

angel opens the "nuke" to reveal a hidden cryochamber, and greets the face of the person inside with, "hello, my love."

i mean, holy shit. okay! so that’s DEFINITELY johnny’s body. cool!

now let’s go into all the references to this story in the actual game of cyberpunk 2077 that SUGGEST we are going to pursue this story AND johnny's body since it’s such a HOT FUCKING TOPIC. 

and i know many of the following can just be considered easter eggs. but my personal interpretation of this game is that it has a really delightful way of intentionally glossing over important story details—and not by ONLY putting them in shards (which people tend to dislike because lol reading) but by also hiding them in plain sight, constantly deferring to V's own ignorance, distracting us with shallower, shinier things, encouraging us to actually play as the fool hero of this story. 

so here's the fun list of “””evidence”””:

this one’s a reach, but fun. in the initial arasaka assault flashback in 2023: we can interact with the groupies at kerry's show as johnny. samantha doesn't appear to be present, but the first person and groupie you can encounter in the flashback has a passing resemblance to angel in that she has a cybernetic arm.

in chippin' in, where we go to johnny's "grave" in the oil fields: if we are to take the 2077 retelling of events as truth, the story could instead be pretty easily be changed that samantha procured his body from there.

mike pondsmith, who wrote these stories and created the TTRPG can be heard on the radio narrating various conspiracy theories. and sure, these can just be easter eggs, intended to reference the differences between the TTRPG lore and the game, so take it with a grain of salt:

johnny. bro. tell him it was morgan blackhand

to top it all off, mike also directly references the actual WORSE nuke arasaka had hid in another arasaka conspiracy: 

SPOILERS FOR GAME ENDINGS AHEAD.

in the rogue ending of the game we discover rogue has a son. it's possible her son is trace (edit: nvm NOT LIKELY, since in RED’s black dog story rogue is listed separately from santiago’s mom in conversation) OR possibly one of the other characters. she tells her son to "pull over and look at the stars" or something along those lines. maybe just details, so that screams nomad to me.

rogue also has a photo of herself and johnny with mike pondsmith in her apartment/office in the afterlife. i initially read this as a delightful cameo but it also can mean mike the CHARACTER knew johnny and rogue, and rogue therefore has some kind of relationship to him and these conspiracies on the radio. and why the fuck not make him a full on character? we have a smattering of streamers and personalities already integrated into quests in the game. the creator of all this should be no exception. fuck it! 

rogue and johnny constantly dance around this accusation of her “selling out”. it’s repeated over and over that she and adam smasher worked for "the same people". i'm beginning to wonder if this wasn't meant to imply only arasaka since smasher mysteriously disappeared after the AHQ assault in 2023 and returned to SOMETIMES take jobs from arasaka... but possibly morgan blackhand and/or by extension, the NUSA or any other greater influences. (like nightcorp? we still don’t know where all this shit with nightcorp/the peralezes/sandra dorsett’s discovery about their research into mind control is gonna go) this also doesn’t account for the multiple factions inside arasaka with VERY different motives. 

morgan blackhand and adam smasher are rivals in the TTRPG, a role that appears to be at least partially filled by johnny instead in 2077. in relation to the arasaka factions, it’s worth nothing that smasher specifically works for yorinobu as his bodyguard at the beginning of the game, in part i assume because yorinobu is avoiding working with arasaka security details as he stole the relic and is plotting against his father. he is then promoted to head of security by yorinobu when yorinobu assumes power. 

in the ending as you work your way through arasaka tower with rogue and shaitan and johnny, rogue remarks:

michiko at this point in 2077 is the leader of the more “liberal” faction within arasaka, so it’s possible we’re seeing that while rogue and smasher work for the same people/family, they couldn’t be more different. 

you can also encounter rogue more than once on the phone fighting with wakako, who has apparently crossed her. wakako also seems to have her own ulterior motives and works mainly with the arasaka-backed tyger claws. she notably gives v/takemura the parade security info for “play it safe” without asking for anything in return, enabling hanako’s kidnapping. my theory is that yorinobu intentionally leaked the parade info to her to give away to put hanako in danger or at least continue to destabilize arasaka. 

in the takemura/devil ending of the game, there is a point where violence breaks out at the arasaka board room meeting when yorinobu-allied security open fire on them. one of the only people that survives along with hanako is michiko arasaka, who was at odds with hanako’s decisions, but  very involved in the preceding discussion.

and now for is my favorite detail! in the afterlife AT ALL POINTS IN THE GAME (but it can only really be inspected in the rogue ending when we are allowed behind the bar), we can find a photo of the squad that transported johnny's body from samantha to angel on the shelf below johnny's tequila, of them hanging out in front of the afterlife sign:  

this implies rogue has some relationship with them, and sentimentality, if we're to judge by the placement. she maybe even took the picture. i don't know, it's charming, it could be all easter eggs. who fucking knows.

either way, rogue and these kids both have in common that they worked with or at least interacted with michiko arasaka. 

and you know what my final evidence is? more wishful thinking! black dog plays on the radio in game. we got a full recorded version of it by refused. if not an oversight, i go ahead and take it to mean the final version was finally released to the public by those kids that were looking for it. 

i haven’t the slightest idea how this is gonna wrap up in future DLC. who has johnny’s body now in 2077, decades after it was dropped off in mexico? what is the truth?? where the fuck is morgan blackhand?? from the devil ending, we know that arasaka stole jackie’s body and put his soul into mikoshi, so the idea that they would just toss johnny’s corpse has always been laughable. the “where’s johnny?” promotional comic was even about thompson unsuccessfully trying to find johnny’s body. i know i am biased here but i cannot fathom all this talk about johnny’s body ending off with us NOT finding it, whether it’s just to bury it, shove johnny’s engram back in it, make out with it, or WHATEVER.

if you made it through this slog, congrats. thanks for reading!