#that we all were liars and just wanted her to die alone and that none of it even happened

[sad-girl-autism]

Someone texted me to ask whether or not I'm going to Christmas this year since it's become clear that I'm not doing Thanksgiving and I got really honest about why I'm still trying to figure that out and how it depends on whether any of that side of the family lets me stay with them this year instead of making me stay with mom just because she birthed me even though they all know it's not a safe option for me and even though we all gather at an aunt's house anyway and it doesn't actually matter who I stay with

[xxspringmelodyxx]

That Girls A Liar~

Gojo Satoru x Fem!Reader

Here is part IV my lovelies! I hope you enjoy! Also, if you have any requests for me, or just wanna talk, please feel free to do so! I love hearing from you all! Part I Part II Part III

Word count: 4.5k Warnings: none

"Y/n..." Toru muttered under his breath, barely audible to anyone around him. The sound of your name was like a bitter pill, stuck in his throat. His eyes followed your every move as you exited the cafeteria, a mixture of confusion and sadness clouding his mind. Determined to understand what was happening, Toru decided to follow you, keeping a safe distance so as not to be noticed. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something deeper was going on, something he wasn’t seeing. The thought of you slipping away from him filled him with a gnawing sense of dread.

You made your way down the hallway, each step echoing in Toru’s ears like a countdown to something he feared. As you pushed open the door to the school courtyard, he saw Kai waiting there, a sight that made his heart sink further. It felt like a betrayal, seeing you spend so much time with Kai, often more than with him. It was like you and Kai were best friends instead of you and him. In fact, seeing how close you two were, it seemed like Kai was becoming more than just a friend to you. The thought made Toru’s chest tighten with jealousy, a sharp pang that left him breathless.

You approached Kai with a smile, one that seemed more genuine than the one you had shown in the cafeteria. This smile reached your eyes, making them sparkle in a way that Toru hadn’t seen in a while. “Hey, Kai. You ready?” you asked, your voice light and encouraging. Kai nodded, fidgeting nervously with his hands, his anxiety palpable even from a distance.

“Yeah…I’m just…nervous. I mean, what if she says no?” he asked, his worry evident in every word. His body was tense, and his eyes darted around as if searching for reassurance.

You smiled softly at him and took his hands in yours, your touch meant to reassure him. You leaned in closer, speaking softly so only he could hear. “Trust me, Kai. After all this time of trying to get you and her alone, it’s obvious she has feelings towards you as well. Plus, you two have so much in common. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone talk about K-dramas as much as you two. It’s honestly so adorable,” you said, chuckling a bit to lighten the mood.

Toru watched from afar, his heart breaking at the sight of you being so touchy with Kai. His fists clenched involuntarily at the scene before him. It was supposed to be Y/n and Satoru, not Y/n and Kai! The thought of losing you to someone else felt like a knife twisting in his heart. It doesn’t even sound as good, he thought bitterly.

“Okay, now start. We’ll do some patching up if we need to,” you encouraged Kai, your eyes shining with determination and hope.

Toru edged closer, staying hidden behind a tree as he strained to hear your conversation. He couldn’t stand the thought of missing a single word.

“Okay…well. I’ve been thinking about this…about you. A lot. You make me feel so warm and calm whenever I am with you. When you come up to me, I feel my heart race. It beats so fast I feel like I could actually die,” Kai started, his voice trembling with nerves.

You snorted, trying to stifle your laughter. “Too much?” Kai asked, looking concerned, his eyes searching yours for validation.

“No, no. Keep going. I like it,” you spoke, making Toru frown even more. Your words were like daggers to his already wounded heart.

“Well…I really like you. And…I’m just gonna skip to the main part…will you allow me to take you to the dance…and allow me the pleasure of being your boyfriend?” Kai finally asked, his voice filled with hope and desperation.

Toru felt like everything around him paused. His breath was held in his throat, begging to be released from the tension. The thoughts of you and Kai being together was something he never wanted to imagine. Thoughts of you two laughing with one another, hugging one another, kissing one another…it was all too much for him.

Toru shook his head, trying to dispel the growing fear. There was no way you’d accept Kai's proposal. After all, Kai was nothing compared to the one and only Satoru Go-

“Of course I’ll go out with you!” you spoke, your voice filled with genuine excitement. Toru deflated within seconds. He felt his heart shatter at your words, the pieces scattering like broken glass. This was a dream, right? Any minute he would wake up, go back to school, and be with you. Right? RIGHT?!?!

But it wasn’t. No matter how much he wished for it to be a dream, he knew it was real life. The reality of your words hit him harder than any physical blow ever could.

Not wanting to hear anything else, he quickly teleported out of the school, desperate to distract himself from the pain he was feeling. The world around him blurred as he sought solace in the only way he knew how, trying to outrun the ache in his heart.

As Toru reappeared in a secluded spot far from the school, he tried to steady his breathing. The pain in his chest was unbearable, a gnawing emptiness that refused to go away. He slumped against a tree, the bark rough against his back, and let out a frustrated scream, hoping the sound would somehow alleviate the hurt. But it didn’t. The image of you accepting Kai’s confession replayed in his mind like a cruel loop.

Meanwhile, back at the school, you and Kai continued your conversation, oblivious to Toru’s turmoil.

“Thank you so much, Y/n. I don’t think I could have done it without you,” Kai said, relief washing over him. He looked at you with gratitude, his eyes softening as the tension left his body.

“Don’t mention it, Kai. I’m really happy for you. Amai is going to be thrilled,” you replied, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. “Just be yourself, and everything will be perfect.”

The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch break. You and Kai exchanged a few more words before heading to your respective classes. Toru, meanwhile, spent the rest of the day in a daze, barely able to concentrate on his classes. The hours dragged on, each one feeling like an eternity. He avoided you and Kai, not trusting himself to keep his emotions in check if he saw you together. Thankfully for him, Sensei Yaga decided to postpone the practice exam until tomorrow…so at least he would get some time to himself. To try and recollect his emotions.

He loved you… but he hated you at the same time. The conflicting emotions tore at his heart every time he thought about you. He wanted to be the one to take you to the dance, to feel the warmth of your hand in his under the twinkling lights of the gymnasium. He imagined holding you close during the slow songs, feeling your heartbeat against his chest. He longed to be the one who dipped you down, held the back of your head in his hand, and then leaned down to finally, finally kiss you. At that moment, he would finally confess his love for you. This vision played out in his mind countless times, each scenario ending in a perfect, romantic moment that made his heart ache with longing.

But now… all of that was tossed down the drain after you said yes to Kai. The dream shattered, replaced by a painful reality that gnawed at him with every passing second. He felt a sharp sting of betrayal, mixed with the bitterness of unfulfilled desires. The thought of you in Kai’s arms was unbearable, yet he couldn’t escape it.

——

The next day had arrived and you and the class were out training as usual, preparing for the training exam. The field was filled with the sounds of exertion, the clashing of weapons, and the shouts of encouragement from your peers. You went with Kai to finalize the plan, the one you both had worked on so meticulously. Kai was going to ask Amai right now. His nerves were palpable, but you were there to support him, as always, your presence a calming influence.

“Go get her, Kai!” you said, giving him a playful push towards Amai. Kai stumbled a bit, turning back to give you a grateful smile before steeling himself and walking over to Amai. He straightened his posture, took a deep breath, and began to approach her with determination. Your encouragement was the last boost of confidence he needed.

As they began talking, you decided now would finally be a good time to go and talk with Toru. This whole thing that was going on between you two had gone on long enough. The distance, the misunderstandings, the unspoken words—it was all too much. You didn’t care about the fear of rejection anymore; you just needed to finally let him know how you felt. The thought of not telling him was more unbearable than the risk of losing your friendship. It was time to face your feelings head-on.

You scanned the training field, looking for Toru. He was by the edge of the field, with Aksana. They were taking a bit of a break, just talking with each other. The sight of them together made your heart clench, but you pushed the feeling aside. You needed to talk to Toru, no matter how difficult it might be.

As you approached them, you paused as you heard Toru speak.

“So there’s this dance coming up in a few days…” he started, his voice tinged with uncertainty but also a hint of something else—perhaps resignation.

Aksana nodded, her expression attentive. “Yeah, I’ve heard about it. Are you planning to go?”

Toru sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I was thinking about asking someone, but… well, things have changed,” he said, his voice sounding more defeated than excited. The heaviness in his tone made it clear he was struggling with something deep inside.

She gave Toru a mischievous smile, eyes glinting with hidden motives. “You know, sometimes things work out in unexpected ways. Who were you thinking of asking?”

Toru hesitated for a moment, then took a deep breath, his shoulders slumping slightly as if the weight of the world was on them. “That doesn’t matter anymore. Aksana, I was thinking… would you go to the dance with me?”

Aksana’s eyes widened in surprise. Her eyes shifted to see you, frozen like a deer in headlights. She smirked as she knew she had won, relishing in the pain she knew this would cause you.

“Aksana?” Toru asked again, making her put on her fake smile.

“Really? I mean, I’d love to, Toru. I just didn’t think you’d ask me.”

You felt a sharp pang of hurt and confusion as you overheard their conversation. H-He asked her after all? The realization hit you like a ton of bricks, knocking the breath out of you. The air around you seemed to grow heavier, harder to breathe.

Suddenly, the bright blue skies began to turn a dark and gloomy gray. The clouds began to spiral around one another, signaling a huge storm was about to hit at any moment. This sudden change grabbed everyone's attention, and chatter began to spew around. The storm mirrored the turmoil within your heart, reflecting the intensity of your emotions.

“Y/n! Y/n! Amai said yes! She is going to the dance with me…but also she said yes to being my girlfriend as well!” Kai came running towards you, only to stop mid-run as he saw your terrifying presence. The aura around you was dark… perhaps even sad. The shift in the weather only amplified the darkness emanating from you.

“Y/n?” he asked, trying to figure out what had changed your mood so terribly. He saw your eyes and how they slowly became glassy looking, tears threatening to spill at any moment. The sight of your pain struck him deeply, making his heart ache for you.

Shoko and Suguru noticed as well when they turned towards you. They exchanged worried glances, understanding that something significant had just happened. The atmosphere was tense, charged with the weight of your unspoken sorrow.

Before any of your friends could come up to help you, they looked ahead and saw Satoru and Aksana talking. They all heard them talking about the dance and figured out what was going on. The realization hit them like a wave, and they felt the sharp sting of your heartbreak as if it were their own.

“Y/n…” Shoko whispered, trying to come to your aid, Suguru quickly following suit. After finishing his talk with Aksana, Satoru noticed water droplets falling to the ground. He knew today was supposed to be sunny, so he turned around to find you. He knew this was your doing and knew that you were crying. But, when he turned, he saw you staring up at him with tears in your eyes. The look you gave him made his heart shatter once more, hating the way you stared at him. It was a look of betrayal, hurt, and unspoken love, all mixed into one.

He saw his other friends making their way towards you, and so he instinctively began to go towards you as well. But before any of them could make it, you quickly ran away, running as far away from all of them as you could. The storm intensified as your emotions overwhelmed you, the skies reflecting the turmoil in your heart. Each step you took felt like a desperate attempt to escape the unbearable pain.

“Y/n, wait!” Satoru called out, his voice desperate, but you didn’t stop. You couldn’t face him, not now. The ache in your chest was too much, suffocating you with its intensity. Each step you took felt like you were trying to outrun the pain that was consuming you, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you fought to hold back the sobs threatening to break free.

Kai and Shoko shared a glance before running after you, determined to catch up and offer comfort. They could see the anguish on your face and knew they needed to be there for you. The urgency in their steps matched the worry in their eyes. Suguru, on the other hand, stayed behind, his eyes narrowing in anger as he watched Toru. He clenched his fists, his knuckles white with tension, knowing this confrontation was inevitable and bound to be explosive.

Satoru watched you run, feeling helpless and torn. He had wanted to make you feel the pain he felt, but seeing you like this was unbearable. His heart ached with regret as he realized the extent of his actions. The satisfaction he thought he would feel was replaced by a deep, gnawing sorrow that gnawed at him. The sight of your tears was like a dagger to his heart, twisting deeper with every drop that fell.

Aksana, standing off to the side, smirked to herself, satisfied with the chaos she had sown. She had gotten what she wanted, but even she could sense the depth of the rift that had just opened between you and Toru.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Suguru yelled, pulling Satoru off to the side with a rough yank. His voice was filled with fury, his eyes blazing with anger. He couldn’t believe what his best friend had done. The intensity of his anger made Satoru flinch, the harsh reality of his actions crashing down on him.

Satoru’s eyes widened in surprise, his own anger flaring for a moment before it was extinguished by guilt. “Suguru, I—”

“You what?” Suguru interrupted, his voice shaking with rage. “You wanted to hurt Y/n? Is that it? Because if it is, congratu-fucking-lations, you succeeded. But at what cost, Satoru? At what cost?” His words were like a slap to the face, each one hitting harder than the last.

Satoru looked away, unable to meet Suguru’s accusing gaze. “I didn’t mean for it to go this far. I just… I was hurting. I wanted her to feel what I felt.”

Suguru’s eyes narrowed, his anger not subsiding. “And now?” he snapped. “Now you see the pain you’ve caused? How could you do this, Toru? To Y/n? To yourself? You love her, and this is how you show it?” His voice was filled with disbelief and disappointment, cutting through the air like a knife.

“But she doesn’t love me!” He yelled back, his eyes glowing a bright blue hue. The rains were pouring down by this point, and everyone else went back inside to avoid getting drenched. With those words, Toru began to break. Never in his life did he think someone could have such an effect on him. Never did he think that his love for you would grow so big to the point where he could barely function. Never did he think that he would feel so broken by the thought of you not loving him back. He loved you, that was an understatement. But you didn’t love him back.

Suguru furrowed his brows, wondering where the hell Satoru got that conclusion from.

“What are you talking about?” He asked, making Satoru look down at his feet. Tears began to fall from his eyes as he told Suguru what happened.

“She is in love with that stupid boy, Kai.” He started, making Suguru scoff

“You’re joking right? Satoru, they-”

“I heard it all! I heard him ask her out…and she said yes! To him! HIM!!” He yelled, his anger and heartbreak mixing together. The moment replayed in his head like a broken record.

“You must have misheard them. Why would she be running out like that? There is no way Y/n likes-”

“I heard what I heard…I was too late.” Satoru said, his eyes slowly going dull.

—

Meanwhile, you ran through the campus, your vision blurred by tears. The storm overhead mirrored the tempest inside you, each raindrop a testament to the pain you were feeling. The sky darkened, the wind picking up, whipping your hair around your face as you pushed forward. Kai and Shoko were close behind, calling out your name, their voices filled with concern and urgency.

“Y/n, please stop!” Shoko called, her voice breaking through the noise of the storm. “We’re here for you. Just talk to us.” Her tone was gentle, yet firm, desperate to reach you. The urgency in her voice was a lifeline through the torrent of emotions you were drowning in.

Kai reached out, gently grabbing your arm to stop you. “Y/n, it’s okay. We’re here. Let’s just talk.” His grip was firm but comforting, grounding you in the moment. The warmth of his touch contrasted with the cold rain, offering a semblance of stability in your chaotic world.

You turned towards them both, your tears falling nonstop, mingling with the raindrops on your cheeks. Your breath hitched, and the sobs that you had been holding back finally broke free. “He asked her… he asked her instead of me!” you sobbed, the words coming out in a choked whisper. The reality of Toru's betrayal hits you anew with each word, cutting deeper into your heart.

Shoko pulled you close, wrapping her arms around you and rubbing your back like how a mother would with her child. Her touch was soothing, her presence a beacon of comfort in your stormy sea of emotions. “I’m sorry, Y/n.” she whispered, her voice steady despite the chaos around you.

Kai stood close, his own expression filled with concern and anger. “He’s an idiot, Y/n. He doesn’t see what he’s losing,” he said, his voice firm. “You deserve so much better than this.”

The rain continued to pour, the storm overhead a reflection of the turmoil inside you. You let go of their embrace, taking a step back.

“I think…I think I need to be alone for a while.” You spoke, making the both of them worry.

“A-Are you sure-”

“I'm sure. Just please leave me be for now.” I said, turning around to go back to my place.

The two watched you leave, seeing how deflated you were. It broke them seeing you like that. But they wanted to give you some time to yourself just as you asked. Even though they didn’t want to, they did to respect your wishes.

However, that didn’t mean they were done with Satoru. They turned back around and went to go find the tall white-haired boy.

–

After a few minutes, they saw him standing in the same area with Suguru. Now it was their time to unleash their wrath on him.

“Who do you think you are?” Kai asked, walking right up to him. Toru stood above him, but Kai didn’t care. He hurt you, and that’s all that mattered. The rain continued to pour, drenching them all, but the intensity of Kai's anger made it feel like a storm within a storm.

Satoru’s eyes blazed with a mix of anger and frustration. “Step away, now,” he threatened, his voice low and dangerous, each word a challenge. Kai is the last person he wanted to see right now. He was the whole reason for this chaos.

“Or what? I don’t care that you’re the strongest in this school. The strongest in this city. Shit, maybe even the whole world. What I do care about is the fact that you hurt Y/n!” Kai yelled back, not backing down one bit. His defiance was fueled by righteous anger, every word laced with indignation. He took a step closer, his fists clenched at his sides.

Shoko stepped in, her own anger simmering just beneath the surface. “What were you thinking, Satoru? How could you do this to Y/n? You should know by now that she loves you—”

“Don’t say that! Because obviously I was wrong about how she felt about me,” Satoru interrupted Shoko, his voice rising with a mix of anger and hurt. His eyes darted between all three of them, filled with confusion and pain.

“What are you talking about?” Shoko asked, her voice filled with concern and confusion. She stepped closer, trying to understand the depth of the misunderstanding.

Satoru looked down at Kai, glaring daggers at him. “Why don’t you tell them, Kai?”

“What?” Kai asked, genuinely confused as to what Satoru was talking about.

“Why don’t you tell them how you confessed to her yesterday! And then tell them about how she accepted! How you stole her from me! How you took her heart from me! You took my everything from me!” Satoru yelled, his emotions getting the better of him. His voice cracked with the weight of his despair, each word a release of the pent-up agony he had been holding inside. His hands trembled, his eyes wild with a mix of anger and sadness.

Kai took a step back, trying to process Satoru’s words. “What are you talking about, Satoru? I didn’t confess to Y/n. We were just practicing.”

“Practicing?” Satoru scoffed, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Practicing what? How to break my heart?”

“No!” Kai shouted, exasperation clear in his voice. “I was practicing how to ask Amai out. Y/n was helping me because I was nervous. That’s all it was.”

Satoru’s expression faltered, confusion replacing some of his anger. “No, you’re lying! Stop lying!” He yelled, his eyes glowing brighter and brighter as if he were about to explode.

Kai sighed deeply, trying to keep his own temper in check. “You misunderstood, Satoru. When you heard me talking to Y/n, I was rehearsing what I was going to say to Amai. Y/n was just helping me. That’s all it ever was.”

Suddenly, there was a long silence. He tried to look for any sign of deception in Kai’s eyes…but all he could see was the truth. Satoru’s eyes widened, the realization hitting him like a punch to the gut. “What... what are you saying?”

Suguru sighed, jumping in while shaking his head. “You jumped to conclusions without knowing the full story. Y/n has been helping Kai because he was nervous about asking Amai out. She’s been doing everything she can to help him, not because she’s in love with him, but because she’s a good friend.”

“But I saw you two together, so many times. The way you both looked…you were so close…” Satoru’s voice trailed off, his anger subsiding into regret and sorrow.

“Yeah, because they’re friends, Satoru. Just like you and Y/n are—or were,” Suguru said, his tone softening slightly. “You let your jealousy get the best of you, and now you’ve hurt her deeply. I told you this whole ‘plan’ of yours was going to come and hit you in the back…”

Satoru’s shoulders slumped, the weight of his actions crashing down on him. Tears mingled with the rain on his face as he whispered, “I didn’t know... I thought...”

Kai took a step closer, his voice low and filled with frustration. “You thought wrong. And now, as Suguru has already stated, you’ve broken her heart. You better make this right, Satoru, or you’ll have more than just us to deal with.”

Shoko nodded, her expression unwavering. “You need to find Y/n, and you need to tell her the truth. Apologize, and maybe, just maybe, she’ll forgive you.”

Satoru looked down, his hands trembling with the realization of what he had done. “I need to find her,” he said, his voice filled with determination. “I need to fix this.”

Suguru nodded, placing a reassuring hand on Satoru’s shoulder.

“She’s headed back to her place. If I were you, I’d get there as soon as possible.” Shoko said, still filled with disappointment. Satoru nodded. With newfound resolve, Satoru turned and ran into the storm, his heart pounding with fear and hope. He knew he had to find you, to make things right, to tell you how much he truly loved you. The path ahead was uncertain, but he was ready to face it, no matter what.

_________________________

Taglist: @aria143 , @goreedo11

[arclundarchivist]

[Spoilers C3E100] The Nuances…

I am obsessing over the nuances that Downfall has brought when it comes to the Gods and Aeor.

The Arch Heart is infinity seeking the finite. A tortured artist , a reveler who spoiled the revery. The fact that the two they chose to move through Aeor with are the one who hates them the most and the one who could grant them what they seek: Honesty. Finality.

They chose to be a work of mortal hands, they chose to create a place of merriment and life, giving a place to *be* for the creations and slaves of the dour and harsh kingdom around them.

They find beauty in an ending, *yet* they don’t seem to like the cost, *unless* it was for them alone.

They find beauty in Aeor, for their gift, taken from the hands of another, is what allowed it to be. Magic. Aeor, their mortal form, the Factorum Malleus, a poem, none of it would be possible if they had simply had restraint.

And the Spider Queen, she is the Goddess of Treachery. But how can she not be? When the *thing* she made was claimed by the one she first gave it to? Where is the credit? Where is the love? She is a Spider. She made the Weave. Yet the Clown has center stage.

The Matron’s nuance is best exemplified when you see the stark separation of her as a mortal and as a goddess. A harsh fascination with eternity and covetousness over death as she walks as a human once again. *Yet*, she lets her power flow and all be judgement *goes*, the harsh passion become soothing calm. She is not a judge. She is a guide. Her End is not final. It is a doorway. The next step. The Unknown. And I am reminded of her line in LoVM: “Death gives meaning to life.” Props to Laura for immediately channeling that energy.

Beauty and Death understand each other better than the others. Yet she, is not truly Kin, and *that* makes it easier to speak, because her understanding will not be colored by a joint past.

The Everlight, and her silent grief, the hole at the center of her finding a light she never could have expected.

“You are a miracle.”

A believer, in a den of deicide.

She means it, how could she not? She sees the innocence and the love, and the chance for this place to be built better.

She refuses to give up, *yet* again the hope she has for others is soured as the person tells her “We can help you, by murdering your kin.”

She doesn’t want that. No more than she wants Aeor to die.

There is only so many things she knows how to do.

But some wounds refuse to be healed. Some people simply will take the hand that aids.

She is stuck, in the midst of a fight she never wanted.

Because she loves. She can’t help it.

And there is something so interesting about Asmodeus’s reaction to that faith, that love.

It disgusts him, but why? Is it because he has had to force adoration, force loyalty, while for her she need simply be as she *is*.

Or is it because it forced him to remember when she had faith in him. When he loved her? Is the disgust internal?

Ayden believe so. The new Dawn, humble in his mean, recognizing the sorrow of the former and attempting to still find hope in this place where Hope should long be dead there is an naivety to him, and I have to wonder where it’s going to lead.

Because it is his soldiers, his forces that revealed the deception the plan. That rage that claim “if you wanted us to follow you, you should not have made us good” not misplaced and maybe it is just a mean he wears, but there is a goodness to him just as there is a goodness to Trist.

But you need not look far for where that anger could be funneling from a pious man of false face a very well accomplished liar. Would it be better if it is all just deception born from the archangel or would it be better if his rage were true because from the way, it seemed that angel before he died was on the precipice a fall of his own.

The Wildmother and the Lawbearer, ever dualistic, lovers representing concepts that many would consider alien. Yet they, more than any of the others know what the Calamity has cost Exandria.

Natural world devastated. Civilizations destroyed.

*Domunas Gone*

*Marquet Burned*

*Exandrians Dead*

Yet, one stood back while the other charged in when it came to a threat that could further unravel everything.

The Emissary, an attempt to bridge that gap. What is his purpose? A gift to her beloved? A being of the natural, elemental world, that seeks to comfort the ailing wild. He is so fascinated by love and life. He could he so much… Why did she send him, while she waits in the background planting a seed that will grow into something so foundational to the world. A new law. A new truth.

Yet the one time blame for so much of this devastation, seems to feel at least at times, a bit of remorse.

The Ruiner, was far from that once, a guardian, a defender, the first to act.

And destruction is not inherently evil, for they learned to wield it as a weapon against true entropy. Through their power something new would grow.

Yet… whose hand has marred the world more than theirs?

Of them all Torog is the one that is easiest to understand. He looked into the face of something even the infinite could not understand and it drove him mad. The pain, grants lucidity, why would he ever want it to stop? Pain is a lesson, pain is a teacher, pain reminds you what you must not do again.

The only I trust the least though… is Ioun. There is something she knows that she does not dare to speak. Why? What would it change? What good does hiding it do? Why do you pry so readily into the knowledge of others yet withhold your own? Has she been shaped by Aeor? Covetous of what she keeps?

All that is to say this story has compelling more than I thought it could, and I am both anxious and excited to see its end, to know the truth of the fall.

And my biggest worry, the biggest question that remains for me: “What are the Bell’s Hells thinking?”

[marichive]

𝐒𝐍𝐎𝐖 : 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐎

Writing / roleplay prompts collected from the POV chapters of Jon Snow in A Clash of Kings , the second book of the ASOIAF saga. Feel free to adjust pronouns / etc. as needed.

tw: dark & mature themes, death, violence, suggestive / sexual content

❝ Have you been here all night? ❞

❝ You didn’t break your fast with us, and your bed hadn’t been slept in. ❞

❝ Is it morning? Down here there’s no way to know. ❞

❝ You’re a sweet fool. ❞

❝ You’ll miss that bed when we’re sleeping on the cold hard ground, I promise you. ❞

❝ If I had time to search . . . everything’s a jumble. I could set it all to order, though. ❞

❝ This vault is a treasure. ❞

❝ The books will still be here when we return. ❞

❝ You’ll be as safe as if you were back in your father’s castle. ❞

❝ I was never very safe in my father’s castle either. ❞

❝ The gods play cruel jests. ❞

❝ Someone has to help me keep him humble. ❞

❝ We’re all scared. We’d be fools if we weren’t. ❞

❝ There’s no shame in fear, my father told me, what matters is how we face it. ❞

❝ Some men want whores on the eve of battle, and some want gods. ❞

❝ The Seven have no power beyond the wall, but my gods will be waiting. ❞

❝ What do you make of them? ❞

❝ They smell of summer. ❞

❝ You’ve heard these tidings of your brother? ❞

❝ He will make a good king. ❞

❝ He was never the same after he put on that crown. ❞

❝ Some men are like swords, made for fighting. Hang them up and they go to rust. ❞

❝ May the gods go with you on the morrow. ❞

❝ More stairs. I hate stairs. ❞

❝ Put them here. I’ll have a look at them later. ❞

❝ The command should be mine. ❞

❝ I do not mean to send you after them and sit wondering how long I must wait before I give you up for lost as well. ❞

❝ Stop wasting my time. ❞

❝ Do I look frail? ❞

❝ Don’t cozen me. ❞

❝ Was this all you could find? ❞

❝ If you have something to say, say it. ❞

❝ A man must believe his eyes. ❞

❝ I have seen the dead walk. ❞

❝ “Give me a man for every vow I’ve seen broken and the Wall will never lack for defenders. ❞

❝ A lord’s one thing, a king’s another. ❞

❝ Tell me none of this troubles you, and I’ll name you a liar. ❞

❝ And if it did trouble me, what might I do? ❞

❝ I’d like to take an axe to the bloody thing myself. ❞

❝ My father believed no man could tell a lie in front of a heart tree. The Old Gods know when men are lying. ❞

❝ Much can change in a year’s time. ❞

❝ We might camp here tonight. ❞

❝ I was afraid that if I closed my eyes, I might never open them again. ❞

❝ Whatever enemy waits out here will not find us so easy to deal with. ❞

❝ We’ll find them, I promise you. ❞

❝ So long as he gives us a hot meal and a chance to dry our clothes, I’ll be happy. ❞

❝ There’s a cold smell to that one, there is. ❞

❝ The men are to mind their hands and speak to these women as little as need be. ❞

❝ Truth be told, I never once missed him. ❞

❝ These are bad times to dwell alone in the wild. ❞

❝ Better to die free than live a slave. ❞

❝ We’ve had no such troubles here. ❞

❝ I’ll thank you not to tell such evil tales under my roof. ❞

❝ I’m a godly man, and the gods keep me safe. ❞

❝ I could use a sharp new axe. ❞

❝ More beer, and be quick about it. ❞

❝ No trouble from the dead, but what of the living? ❞

❝ What of your king? ❞

❝ Any man lays a hand on my wife, he loses the hand. ❞

❝ He has the look of a Stark. ❞

❝ Man wants to bed a woman, he ought to take her to wife. ❞

❝ He won’t hurt you. ❞

❝ Are you one of his daughters? ❞

❝ That wolf’s looking at you hungry. ❞

❝ You’re scaring her. ❞

❝ I know all the names. ❞

❝ Save your breath. ❞

❝ Is he as savage as they say? ❞

❝ So there is magic beyond the Wall after all. ❞

❝ Just take me with you when you go, that’s all I ask. ❞

❝ I’ll be your wife, if you like. ❞

❝ He never gave you guest right, so you’re not bound to him. ❞

❝ It’s for the baby, I have to go. ❞

❝ I don’t even know your name. ❞

❝ Is it him who frightens you? ❞

❝ For the baby, not for me. ❞

❝ What color are the eyes? ❞

❝ Blue. As bright as blue stars. ❞

❝ Your babe would not be safe with us. ❞

❝ I do not choose the road I ride. ❞

❝ Keep a good edge on that sword of yours. We’ll be needing it soon enough. ❞

❝ I know what it is to be afraid. ❞

❝ She’s going to have a baby. ❞

❝ Have you taken leave of all your sense? ❞

❝ Why do I feel so ashamed? ❞

❝ She was frightened and wanted help. ❞

❝ The wide world is full of people wanting help. Would that some could find the courage to help themselves. ❞

❝ My father once told me that some men are not worth having. A bannerman who is brutal or unjust dishonors his liege lord as well as himself. ❞

❝ We could scarce hope for better. ❞

❝ What’s wrong with you? ❞

❝ Maybe there are ghosts here, the spirits of the First Men. This was their place, once. ❞

❝ How did you fare today? ❞

❝ I will not lose more of my men. ❞

❝ I mislike the man, but I do not think he lied to us in this. ❞

❝ Shall I bring you supper? ❞

❝ Did your wolf find game today? ❞

❝ That’s not for me to say. ❞

❝ I dread that as much as you, but we must admit the possibility. ❞

❝ Rest will serve me better. ❞

❝ Was the hunting so bad? ❞

❝ Dragonglass. What the maesters call obsidian. ❞

❝ Send two hundred wolves against ten thousand sheep and see what happens. ❞

❝ You have your father’s look. ❞

❝ I am no lordling. ❞

❝ It is said that a direwolf runs with you. ❞

❝ I had begun to fear for you. Did you meet with trouble? ❞

❝ There are worse ways to die than warm and drunk. ❞

❝ I’ll not be going there, I promise you. ❞

❝ I was not meant to hear that. ❞

❝ It was just empty talk. ❞

❝ They are cold and afraid; we all are. ❞

❝ The unseen enemy is always the most fearsome. ❞

❝ It must have been buried for a reason. ❞

❝ What is you will in this? ❞

❝ Fire is life up here, but it can be death as well. ❞

❝ No better time to start than now. ❞

❝ I wish I had a tenth part of his courage. ❞

❝ Do you have a name? ❞

❝ You are my captive. ❞

❝ I never knew my mother. ❞

❝ I want to hear this tale of yours. ❞

❝ A steel kiss will keep her quiet. ❞

❝ She yielded herself to me. ❞

❝ You must do what needs to be done. ❞

❝ You don’t need to do it. ❞

❝ Aren’t you afraid? ❞

❝ Strike hard and true, or I’ll come back and haunt you. ❞

❝ I can’t stay brave forever. ❞

❝ You never asked me how it went. With the girl. ❞

❝ They have no discipline. ❞

❝ You know? ❞

❝ Tell me why you spared her. ❞

❝ I know she was an enemy, but there was no evil in her. ❞

❝ To lead a man you must know them. ❞

❝ You ought to be sleeping. ❞

❝ I like it in the dark. ❞

❝ It’s always pretty women in my dreams. Would that I dreamed more often. ❞

❝ Dead men walk and the trees have eyes again. Why should we balk at wargs and giants? ❞

❝ Does this mean my dreams are true as well? ❞

❝ He can keep his mammoths, I want my women. ❞

❝ I want to see them with my own eyes. ❞

❝ Eagles have sharper eyes than men. ❞

❝ It will be good to feel warm again, if only for a little while. ❞

❝ Sometimes a man forgets how pretty a fire can be. ❞

❝ Did he ever love a maid or have a wedding? ❞

❝ He has a different part to play. ❞

❝ Do you remember the words of your vow? ❞

❝ I am not afraid to die. ❞

❝ What do you mean? ❞

❝ If we are taken, you must yield. ❞

❝ No. Never. I won’t. ❞

❝ You will. I command it of you. ❞

❝ You must not balk, whatever is asked of you. ❞

❝ Do as they bid you, but in your heart, remember who and what you are. ❞

❝ I do not want to play the oathbreaker, even for a good reason. ❞

❝ I’ll do whatever you ask. ❞

[felonytaxevasion]

Arc 1 - Bonds

My assorted commentary on the first chapter of Pact for my mutuals who were interested in my thoughts. Testing out formatting this might be mess thank you for your patience.

As always no spoilers please thank you <333

This is technically my second time reading this but I wasn't paying attention the first time so I wanted to start over

1.1

“My children are useless,” she said. She was so dismissive and casual about it.

First of all. Icon. I absolutely love wretched old women and I love having the foresight of knowing practitioners cant lie meaning that this is presumably an objective evaluation of her children's capabilities. I'm also gonna watch out for Blake's mom and Aunt Stephanie though. They aren't included in that statement so maybe we can have an evil magic milf era. Like in Umineko. I love Umineko.

If anything I’d said had an impact, it was that. I could see the faint amusement drop away from her. “Are you accusing me of being a liar, Master Blake?”

aHA BECAUSE PRACTITIONER RULES

It was well after dark when someone stepped outside to talk to me. I closed out of the puzzle game I was playing on my phone. The brightness of the screen made for a dark patch that lingered in my vision as I looked up. Eleven-fifty at night.

This is an interesting writing choice because it's clear that a lot of time has passed but not exactly how much. Which adds mystery to the question of "was Rose planned all along or did Rose Sr. make an impulse choice after talking with Blake.

Also I really wanna know. When Rose met Ivy did her parents bring her in and talk or did they just set the baby on the bed and leave.

“Molly! Don’t be rash!” Aunt Irene admonished her. “I don’t want it,” Molly said, again. She grabbed the footboard of the bed. “No.“ “Molly, don’t be silly.”

Molly is one of the biggest reasons I don't want spoilers. Everything about her is so interesting. She was the first choice but she died very quickly. But not THAT quickly. Was Rose 2 always the plan and Molly was the sacrificial lamb to pave the way or was Molly just genuinely the best choice to become heiress. She survived for four months which is, if Pact is paced similarly to Worm, long enough to survive Leviathan, The Slaughterhouse Nine, Coil, and Echidna or whatever their equivalent in Pact land is. And that is no small feat. Like obviously I'm assuming here but I can't imagine the combined forces of Jacobs Bell were just letting her chill. I have so many questions about her and I want answers to none of them.

The blonde woman opposite him folded her hands in front of her. “That was… noteworthy in scale. Kind of her to point the way, but she was never crude. We’ll need to know what she did before we move on.”

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE. Noteworthy in scale. Rose is not a small feat. Why are she and Blake positioned as the backup plan. Thinking so hard

“Funny thing, Maggie,” Padraic said, and when he smiled, the expression extended further than it should have. The smile too wide, the eyes too long and narrow. “When something momentous occurs, it can be the equivalent of lighting up the night sky, scattering fog and clouds to the horizons. You can see more clearly… but when you look, they can look back, too.”

Maggie and Padraic are some of my favorite characters based on vibes alone. I just know they're going to die so horribly so early on. At least Maggie.

“Mm,” the man in the throne said. “‘Lo, stranger. Listen, I don’t think you should believe what any of them say about me. If you need help, I can offer it.” “For a price,” the dog added.

Now see Johannes I would love to give you the benefit of the doubt however I know for a fact (a pact fact!) I have not seen any fanart of you making out sloppy style with Blake Thorburn and as such I find it hard to believe you are his ally. The wildbow ecosystem is too yaoi deprived to not jump on that pairing unless you're some type of fucked up.

“Run,” she said. “Get to the house, now.” “Which house? Who-” “Molly’s dead,” she said. “You’re next.”

HAI ROSE

1.2

I actually don't have much commentary on this chapter other than RIP to BlakeRose but I would happily take the deal to become a creepy bird monster. That's the ideal living situation actually.

1.3

The first sheet had only a simple message, penned in a curling script I almost envied. ‘Birth date’. I tried the year I’d been born. It didn’t work. Day, month? One-eight-oh-one.

...

“Molly!” I hollered, loud enough I should have been audible throughout the house. “Anyone!?” No response. Somewhere, in my general confusion and the mess of stuff I didn’t know or understand, I’d hoped that Molly being alive would be one of those things that caught me off guard.

Not to needle at his grieving process but I'm pretty sure the fact that it was His Birthday Not Molly's that opened the door was a pretty clear sign

I shook my head. “No clue. Something to keep in mind. After stipulations, there’s a section on stipend, with a regular allowance, notes on how often the lawyers can be called without incurring a debt. Oh, right here. A mention of the bird-skull monsters.” “What?” I could see Rose move, standing from her seat. “I’m joking,” I said, with zero humor in my voice.

I think Wildbow should do what visual novels franchises do and make a non canon crossover beach themed spinoff episode with all his characters. I want to see Blake and Lisa be cunty together

My friends were artists and artistic types. I had the unfortunate distinction of being a less than stellar artist. But I’d owed them for the help and support they’d given me, and in helping them with their jobs, I’d stumbled onto a bit of work. Setting up their work, installations, as well as all the other grunt jobs. Sure, they could go to a carpenter to get something put together in the way of a display stand, but that carpenter wouldn’t necessarily know what was at play with the art. Along the way, I’d settled into being a go-to handyman and delivery guy in the local art community. I knew the gallery owners, I knew who was who, and if I couldn’t do a job myself, I knew who to call. Not so glamorous or fancy, not exactly stellar pay, but I had stupid little skills that I could use here. In a pinch, I could use my stride or my arm length to help me figure out measurements, thirty three and a half and thirty-two and a half inches, respectively.

So fun fact I was a gallery tech assistant for about three or four years in high school and I would just like the record to state. A. Wildbow you captured the gallery tech mentality exactly. Tired, sassy, and overall filled with peculiar useful skills. 100% accuracy rate.

Also Blake please call your friends sooner rather than later. The blond gallery tech who works for cheap going suddenly missing is going to DEVASTATE that community. Blake you are a protected species under the wildlife conservation act and the human equivalent of catnip for bisexuals with an art history degree you are the foundation of that community and they are going to be CONCERNED

1.4

She looked a little agitated, nervous. “I think we can go this route. Avoid getting into the ugliest stuff, the books on demons and whatever else. If witch hunters and inquisitors can survive this sort of thing, maybe we can too.” “Borrowing power instead of using it?”

I'm trying to figure out if Rose II is in on it. Because like. She should be right? But then she says things like this that make it sound like she really is just as lost as Blake

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m kind of attached to you, metaphysically. You die, I’m going to be a goner too.” “You think. Either way, I’m the one who got injured,” I said. “I’m the one who has stitches in my hand and a cut on my face.” “At least you’re alive,” she retorted.

They've so immediately become siblings.

Which by the way. If Blake and Rose are fucked up twins of a sort. I have questions about Paige and Peter. Especially seeing as Paige is considered a non starter for Rose Senior

“In this scenario, we’ve got a situation involving a number of countries. If you will, there’s America. I’m rather interested in America for the purpose of this discussion, but that’s just me. Powerful, perhaps overly proud, large, keepers of the peace.” I glanced at his uniform. “Sure.”

Close enough. Welcome Back Victoria Dallon!!

1.5

“It smells like a rose,” a man announced, “It’s as beautiful as a rose. I dare say it’s as fragile as a rose, once you get past the thorns. But is it really our Rose?” I turned. Three twenty-somethings, if I went by appearances, were approaching me from behind. I might have been off. Each had alcohol in brown bags.

I want to be one of them so bad. I want to join the fucked up Fairie gang.

“No,” I said. I grabbed one of the books from the coffee table. “Anger is good.” “Good?” “It keeps us moving. You read the book on implements, I’ll read up on familiars when I’m done Essentials.”

True gallery tech mindset <3

1.6

“Blake!” Rose’s voice, from the living room. “You have to help him!”

This is one of those passages that makes me think Rosie is in on it. You've read more than Blake how has this being an other trap not occurred to you

1.7

Should another practitioner need to bait him again, know that this author used: a pile of festering boar carcasses, six feet high, each carved with his name when well into their state of decay, the decay timed using refrigeration to be roughly parallel; seven jars of burning hair, resupplied keep the flames perpetually alight

Yea who hasn't been here at one point

“To everyone and everything that’s listening,” I said. I heard Rose start speaking behind me, but my words drowned hers out. “To me, and to nobody in particular, I’ve gotta say, I didn’t choose this. I’m doing this for family, to respect them as they were in the past, when my cousins were also my friends, so the others don’t face what Molly did. I’m doing it to respect stuff in the present, because even if I dislike my cousins, I don’t want them to have to face this situation and get killed off. I’m doing this for the family that comes in the future, so my kids and all our descendants don’t have this debt hanging over our heads. Above all, I think I’m doing this for my real family. For the friends I made who gave me support when I needed it most, so I can demonstrate what they taught me. Past, present, future, and… more abstract.”

Guy who can only hate his family this much because of how much he loves them Augh Augh

I could hear Rose behind me, still talking, as if she were very distant. “-than a vestige.”

SUSPICIOUS

“It doesn’t matter,” she said, quiet, “because it’s not blood. I’m not offering anything worth taking, and there aren’t any spirits here to listen and obey, are there?” “There are other options, maybe?” “It doesn’t matter,” she said, again. “I don’t care anymore.”

But then this is the opposite of suspicious because she can't lie but she's saying it didn't work and she wants to give up hhhhhhh Rose you are so slippery to understand

Gathered Pages

I didn't highlight any particular passages but Rose Senior I love youuuuuuuu

[mydarllinglover]

Alone || Friend To None

Previous

No one had slept the rest of the night, and in the morning, everyone kept to themselves, assorting their belongings and deciding what to do, holding out hope that Daryl and frost would turn up.

"Hey, I found an Ipod, and thanks to our honouree genius, I charged it." Natalia walked down the stairs, waving around her ipod as she flicked through it. "They have Beyonce?! Score!"

"Hey, Nat, shut up." Maggie told her, staring out the window, through the blinds.

"What, you don't like Bey-"

"Shh!" She snapped, alerting the others to her tense state.

"Maggie, what is it?" Gabriel asked.

"They're here. We-" She turned around, searching the room frantically. "Down there." She pointed at the crawl space, "We gotta hide down there."

No one bothered to even question her, as they hauled ass, squeezing into the below space.

Some time had passed, before a loud bang from above had reminded them of the situation they were in.

"Clear!" A booming voice shouted, a man's.

"Over here!" A woman's called. "They're still wet."

Natalia looked to the wall as she concentrated on that voice, had she heard that before?

"I guess he was telling the truth, then?"

Now she would have recognised that voice anywhere, Daryl.

Before she could even move towards the steps, Negan was grabbing a hold of her, whilst Maggie held one hand over her mouth, and the other gripping her shoulder tight, begging her to stay put, only through her eyes.

"We should clear the other rooms." The other man suggested.

Their footsteps continued into the house.

"Clear!" The man shouted, seconds before Daryl repeated him.

"I have to." Natalia whispered, almost silently, ripping Maggie's hand off her face, her eyes starting to well. "I have to get to him."

"You can't" Maggie was just as silent. "He's with them for a reason, you'll put us all at risk."

"But he's right there." Her voice cracked, as she tried to control it.

The people above continued to check over the house.

"I'm sorry."

"Nothing." They had joined together, right above the rug that was concealing the small groups hiding spot.

"Maybe they went out the back?" Daryl wondered. "I can track them."

Natalia and Maggie met eyes, instantly.

"Are you in a hurry to leave?" The man asked him.

"What?" He wasn't the smoothest liar, Natalia scrunched her eyes up at his hesitation.

"The other building, you wanted to stick around and make sure we didn't miss anything. Now you wanna run off. Which is it?" The man pressed.

"Look, man, I'm just trying to help." Daryl huffed.

"Yet you keep chirping."

"Fine. You lose 'em, it's on you, it ain't on me."

"Stop." The woman piped up.

Who the hell was she telling to stop?

"Wash, we need a perimeter check." Natalia could only assume she was saying into a radio. "Possible runners. Half a klick."

"Copy that, Shaw." The man, Wash, responded. 

"Look, I don't have time for this talk bullshit." The woman lowered her voice, stressed.

"Listen..." The man attempted, but she cut him off.

"I know! I understand, but I don't need it. Go, sift upstairs. Make sure we didn't miss anything."

They heard his footsteps leaving.

Maggie caught Natalia's arm as she went to raise her gun, exactly where that woman was stood with Daryl, shaking her head furiously.

"Don't." Shaw hissed.

"Don't what?" Daryl asked her.

"You're either with us, or you're not? Your wife is our enemy, now." She continued to keep her voice low.

"Nat was your friend." He pushed. "She cared about you."

The puzzle piece clicked.

Leah! The woman was Leah, but how?

"And now she's against me. It's us, or you die, and you got a taste of it, already."

Did she just threaten him?

"What do you want me to do?" His voice was only a tad bit louder.

"For one thing, stop pissing off Carver. Usually doesn't end well."

They soon heard their footsteps leaving the room, but it wasn't long before the three of them returned.

"They ran. They ain't coming back here." Daryl finalised.

"What?" Carver asked.

"I mean, think about it. You hit them hard. Even if they get more people, they won't come back here. It's a bad move. You've got what, 20 people in your town?" Daryl pointed out, rather loudly. "You got weapons. You got walls. You'd see 'em coming from a mile away. Trust me, they ran."

"Is there a point to any of this?" They could hear the confusion in Carvers tone.

"Let's go." Leah told the two men. "There's nothing here. It's time we move on."

"No. We're missing something."

"Fine. Let's waste another hour. That's smart."

"Daryl..." Hearing her say his name, was like nails on a chalkboard for Natalia.

"It's not my fault he's too stupid to pay attention."

"Chirp. Chirp. Chirp." Carver mocked.

"Enough."

"No, screw that. This dirtbag wants to play. I'll teach him the rules."

"I'm right here, man. Make a move." Daryl challenged.

Natalia couldn't help but to fan herself, the heat in the small crawlspace was getting to her....

"This is not the time and it's not your call to make." Leah interrupted.

"Jesus, Shaw." Carver sounded aggravated by her. "We both know who he really is deep down."

"What?" Leah asked.

"I was there. Remember? After? What, you think this is gonna end any different?"

Natalia tried to wiggle out of the hold she was in, but no one was letting loose.

"So, this is what? You looking out for me?

"Always."

"Uh-huh. Got ya." She humoured him. "And what about the fire? When Pope locked me in the cabin and lit it up? You must have known. Was that you looking out for me, too?"

"Shaw, wake up. Everything is a test now. If you think this guy is ever gonna give a shit about any of us, you're gonna fail. He's gonna go running back to his baby mama, like he always did."

Natalia felt the eyes on her, before she looked at the people around her, she had froze, her heart had stopped, what the hell were they talking about? Were they implying that Daryl knew Leah, but he had never met her, how would he have met her?

"He's right. I don't give a shit about any of you. Except you." Daryl answered, which confused her even further, cause the only people he could've been talking to, was either Carver or Leah, and the two men were definitely not fans of each other. "I'm here for you. It's no secret I made mistakes. But I'm here right now. Maybe I'd be better at it this time, if you'll let me. And Pope scares the shit out of me. I don't wanna be face first in the fire under his boot. But if you say trust him, I'll trust him."

"We've wasted enough time here already." Leah spoke, but Natalia could barely hear her, it felt like her head was trapped in a bubble, everything was blurred as she tried to make a connection of things, of events, a time line.

"Oh, you're not seriously..." Carver started.

"It's time to move on." She pressed the matter.

"Sure. Your call." He was silent for another moment, "Hold on." He pushed Daryl out of the way, stepping towards the rug and lifting it up.

"Told ya." Daryl spoke, after a moment of quiet.

Secret exits were a heaven sent, as the group snuck out from the side of the house, away from the group.

When they were in the clear, tree's surrounding them. Natalia distanced herself away from the three, stumbling slightly as she walked in a different direction.

"Natalia? Are you alright?" Gabriel asked.

"Man, look at her." Negan scoffed.

"It was after Rick." Natalia muttered, when Maggie caught up to her, though the group could still hear them, considering Natalia had collapsed on a log.

"What was?" Maggie asked.

"He- he went out looking for him, everyday... he never came home, he was always out in those damn woods, whilst I was pregnant, with our children" She looked at her friend. "The same woods she lived in. I'm so stupid." She dropped her head into her hands. "He never came home to me, cause he was with her."

"Hey, you don't know what they were talking about." Maggie attempted. "Daryl ain't the kinda guy who would do... that."

Natalia lifted her head, staring at the woman, sternly.

"He wouldn't." She stuck with her opinion.

"We were in a bad place, I was huge, he was grieving, he wanted nothing to do with me."

"Daryl ain't like that." Maggie knuckled down. "You obviously don't know how much he loves you, if you think that of him."

"What else am I supposed to think, Maggie?!"

"He was captured, he's playing them."

"Then how does "Carver" know who I am?"

It took a while for Maggie to find a reason for that.

"Maybe she's in on it and they came up with a story."

"Doesn't fucking matter." Natalia stood up from the log, looking down at her. "'Cause I'm gonna kill them all. How far away are we?"

"About three miles out." She answered, as they joined the others.

"You can't be serious." Negan looked stumped. "Daryl just told us to go home."

"I didn't hear that." Maggie held her hand on her hip.

"Well, I think he was being subtle. He said they were armed with lookouts. And Daryl knows we'd never turn back." She glanced at the man in question's wife, not too sure if that statement was fully true at the moment.

"How're you gonna keep going, Maggie, huh? With what army? Come on, Gabe, back me up here."

"Our people are about to starve. I'm not going back to my family having failed." The priest replied.

"Oh, Jesus."

"I've done it before." Natalia said. "At Woodbury, to get you and Glenn back, and then to save Merle and Daryl, did it at that outpost, and those other outposts, I can do this, but If y'all are gonna tag along, You do as I say, and you don' kill 'em."

"Why is that?" Gabriel asked.

She looked at Elijah.

"Tell me which one hurt your family, and I get the rest to myself."

The boy nodded in approval and understanding.

"Alright, tell you what." Negan decided. "Make me a promise in front of the goddamn preacher, and I will stick around."

"Promise you what?" Maggie caved.

"I do this for the both of you, and we're even, we are good. I don't have to keep looking over my shoulder."

"We will never be even." Maggie broke it to him.

"Then you are gonna be down a soldier that you desperately need."

"We don't need you." Natalia told him. "Never have, never will, this is a one man job, I'm just letting y'all act like we're a team."

Twigs snapping caught their attention, a walker was approaching.

"Mine." Natalia demanded, walking towards it, she didn't draw any weapons. 

The walker reached out for her, but she ducked, kicking it to the ground, instead of putting a knife through its skull, she kicked at its head, then again, and again, and again, until eventually, there was no head, and instead, a pile of brain-rot and dark blood.

"Feel better?" Gabriel asked as she joined them, again.

"Nope."

"Well there's some more." Negan pointed towards the same direction, a group of them were approaching, now.

"Wait." Maggie halted her. "Think we can find more?"

"Really?" Natalia raised a brow.

"It's efficient, will make breaking in a whole lot easier."

They had tied the walkers to the trees, using them to summon others, as each got their missions, Elijah went off on his own, to take care of his section.

Natalia gave Gabriel a walkie, after sharing his mission.

"There are scouts everywhere." Maggie reminded.

"I'll be careful."

"If you get a chance to kill one of them, if he's alone and you have the advantage... Ignore what she says." Maggie looked at Natalia.

"I will." Gabriel promised, then walked away.

"You ready?" Negan asked.

"I'm not cutting up anyone I know." Maggie sighed. "You're gonna have to find me five strangers."

"Only need four." He smirked. "I kept my mask for practical and sentimental reasons."

"This is not fun." Maggie stopped him.

"Well, not with that attitude." He mocked.

"Actually, make it three, coaches don't play, I ain't herding with y'all."

"Let's get it over with."

Natalia popped in her headphones, she wasn't joining in on whisperer bootcamp, but she had nothing else to do for the moment, so she was gonna watch Negan and Maggie attempt to work together.

Beyonce and Shakira? Now that was a good duo.

"You know, I gave that man the best damn years of his life, he was shit before me." Natalia sat on a log, staring at the ground, whilst Maggie skinned a walkers face, gritting her teeth through Negan's instructions.

"You tried to kill each other for the first three months you knew each other." Maggie sighed.

"Yeah, but we didn't, I also saved his life, he hasn't done shit for me, except cause the reason I got stretch marks. You know, he told me that the first time he started to "admire me" was when I fucking threatened Tomas."

"Who's that?" Maggie asked.

"That guy in the cafeteria, when Rick cut yer daddy's foot off, y'know, he wasn't even bad looking, just pissed me off."

"Oh." She nodded.

"Another thing, he thinks he's all that cause he bagged me? Laughable." Natalia continued. "Girl, I could have anyone I wanted, I have evidence, and he thinks he can pull a fast one on me, lemme just go through the small list of men who have tried it"

"Y'don't have to."

"All those prisoners, actually. Dr S, I know he did. His own brother. Leon, Frank, Sean, Harley, and I know what he did, but he still counts, Spencer, Milo-"

"Wait, wait, wait, Spencer?" Negan cut her off.

"Yes, what about it?"

"Thought he was with Rosita?"

"Yeah, cause I rejected him, and you killed her ex in front of her, we all have our moments." Natalia glared at him. "Anyways, where was I, actually, scratch that, like every fucking dude that bothers me, and he has the nerve, to try and fuck me over, then wants to come back with a pathetic offering of food?

"Nat! Get over it, alright, you don't know what's going on, he's just trying to survive, and she's swallowing all the shit he's spewing so it's working."

"So how the hell did they know who I was, why would he say that Daryl would just go running back to me "like always." Yeah, cause nothing happened whilst they were out in those woods together, Argh, that asshole."

"Got it!" Maggie sighed with relief, yanking the face off the walker.

The next part of their plan, was teaching Maggie how to be a walker.

Natalia hid in the bushes, as Negan sported his mask, as well, correcting Maggie's posture and walk, then he untied the walker with the black beard, letting him loose.

He stumbled towards the disguised woman, sniffing her before losing interest, walking away, that was until she tripped over a rock, falling to the ground.

The walker happened to notice this, making a bee-line for her just as she started taking the mask off in a panic, but Natalia was quicker with her knife, aiming and taking down the walker in one swing.

"Great, now we have to find a new one, thank you, Natalia." Negan rolled his eyes.

"This is a piece of shit." Maggie threw the mask at him.

"It's not gonna fit you perfectly." He chuckled. "It was... someone else's face. Look, this might actually work. And I mean it. If I can do it, you can do it. I'll take this back, work on it, fix it for you. Then we'll try again."

"How generous." Natalia quipped.

"You did good, Maggie." He ignored her, walking away to go work on her Halloween costume.

In only a few hours later, Maggie was able to start herding walkers into the pen they had made

"Whatever happened to your friend?" Natalia asked Negan, as they watched from a log.

"Which one?"

"The one with the moustache, the one who called me hot."

"Which one?" He repeated.

"Y'know, the next in charge, your assistant."

"Simon."

"That's it."

"Strangled him to death, cause he tried to overthrow me."

"Shame, y'know, if you had him as my captor, instead of Laura, I would've probably actually caved."

He side-eyed her, shocked and slightly disappointed by her reveal.

"What, I wasn't enough for you, but he was?"

"He pissed me off, he didn't subject me to nightmare fuel by killing two of my closest friends, right in front of me then demanded I stare at it."

"Fair enough." He nodded.

"Y'know, it's funny how the twins took such a liking to you, considering they were conceived on your old meeting room table." She sighed, staring ahead at her friend.

His face screwed up in disdain, but she didn't take notice, until Maggie walked over, taking off her mask.

"Told you, you would get it right." Negan broke his own silence. "Congrats and you're welcome."

As Maggie continued to work on her herd, Natalia went away to hunt, but also keeping a look out for any of those reaper people, or maybe Daryl... she missed him, bad, at this point, she wasn't even angry, she just wanted an explanation, but mostly, she just wanted him, she had no idea what she was gonna do with the outcome of whatever weird thing he had going on with Leah, she her guess, and she believed it, but she also still didn't want to, she loves him, and she doubted she could ever stop, but he had lied to her, for seven years, she couldn't just exactly forget that, so easily.

Negan had skinned and roasted the string of rabbits Natalia had caught, portioning it out for everybody, and then they sat around the fire to eat.

"You know, I feel for you in all of this." Negan started, looking at Maggie. "You might think that's bullshit, but it's true."

"How's that?" Maggie asked.

"I'm not a robot, Rhee. It sucks to see your friends as walkers. And that would be enough. But you are about to do some crazy shit, even crazier than originally planned, considering you gave the nutjob-" He pointed at the possible Divorcee. "the reigns to this operation, and break into a community that you built and lost. I get it."

"Your community and mine, were lost in very different ways." She told him.

"You think I don't understand the losing side of a massacre?"

"There were no children at the satellite station. No families."

"The first night we had sex." Natalia muttered to herself, staring at the fire.

"Then where'd Aaron get Gracie?" Negan asked her, raising his brow when he found a way to finally stump Maggie. "You think I don't know about that?"

"You can't debate battle plans with me. Levels of cruelty."

"Look, all I'm saying is that I remember when my home was invaded and my people were killed. Those men... they had friends. They had girlfriends. People that felt a loss that I couldn't heal. And I had to explain to them why... why their leader failed to protect them."

"You killed people who had families." Maggie reminded. "And you did it in front of their families."

"Yeah. I did." He agreed. "But the world is different now, Maggie. Fewer people to fight for, fight with. Hell, there's fewer things to fight over."

"Are you saying you'd do things differently?"

Natalia looked up, waiting for his answer to Maggie's question.

"Yeah. Yeah, if I could do it all over again. I'd have killed every single one of you."

In that moment, any bit of redemption Natalia felt Negan had earned, was destroyed in that one sentence, he hadn't changed, he'd just adapted to his environment, knew when he'd lost, but he didn't feel any remorse or regret for his actions.

"Why would you say that?" Maggie forced the words out, but her throat felt tight.

"It's the truth." He shrugged. "We gotta do whatever we can to protect our people, right? I mean, that's why we're here. That's why we're doing this."

"Why would you say that to me?" She rephrased, her anger showing.

"We had a good day, you and I, us." He looked between the two women. "And the only way this works, is... is if we're honest."

More time had passed, the pen got fuller, and Gabriel had returned.

"Nat, Maggie. Good news." He greeted them. "It's still there."

"You run into any of them?" Maggie asked him.

"No." He shook his head, quickly limping away.

Natalia had sensed his hesitation straight away, but she didn't mention it at the moment, no, she'd wait for her time.

Soon, they had enough, and it was time to work Natalia's plan.

Negan, Maggie, Gabriel and Elijah, who had masks made for them, would position the walkers, herd them to the distraction point, they'd also be on the look out for any walker traps, or places they would have been locked up years ago, letting them join their army, expanding it.

By the time they had reached Meriden, their army must have reached the hundreds.

And just like Natalia predicted, they had sent a man out to deal with the situation.

The man had reached a clearing, he was confident that he knew what he was doing.

"Group 2, move in." Natalia spoke over the radio, as Negan herded his section towards the man, blocking him in.

He was a fighter, she could give him that, but he was no match when Negan and Maggie got involved, throwing him off and stabbing him, letting the walkers get a chance to have a feast.

"Good work, comrades." Natalia smirked, as she spoke into the radio, her voice barely heard over the walkers.

Negan had passed the radio to Natalia, who was subjected to Leah Shaw's pleads for her friends, as he herded the walkers away, just to bring them back in the next hour, she wanted them to know it was her group that was manipulating the dead.

What she hadn't accounted for, was the explosives that blew up a group of her army, apparently landing on a bomb of sorts.

More had followed as they got closer, spreading out around the perimeter.

"Alright, you need to push them around, make sure they hit all the explosives instead of y'all." Natalia instructed, from her spot, using binoculars to try and find anything, but in the night, it was becoming even more challenging.

She had fled, when the herd was getting closer to her, with no mask or protection, she left for the walls.

"Alright, I'm by an old white car, one of the only ones around, meet me there, in the next 5." She radio'd forward.

"Copy that." Maggie whispered back.

It wasn't long before she and Gabriel joined her, ripping off their masks.

"You guys alright?"

"Fine." Maggie nodded.

"Up ahead, nine O'clock." She nodded at the wall, at the man who was strolling the perimeter, getting closer to them, from up above.

"Man, you're missing all the fireworks." Daryl called, meeting him, just above them.

"Dixon? What are you doing up here?" He asked.

"Pope told me to walk the perimeter, so I'm walking the perimeter." He replied. "You want a smoke?"

"Yeah." He nodded.

Within 30 seconds, the man's body was falling beside them, blood seeping from his throat.

Maggie and Gabriel were quick to move the body out of sight, whilst Natalia looked up, meeting those blue eyes.

Her face was blank as she stared at him, and that made him gulp, he knew he had a truck ton of explaining to do, but now wasn't the time, he hoped never would be.

"We're holding good at the northern gate. Walls are holding strong." All three radios rang.

"Hey, pst. pst. Around that way. Go." Daryl beckoned to them, pointing around the corner.

"Just so you know, I'm gonna kill your girlfriend." She hissed up at him.

"Ain't had a girlfriend since I married ma first an' last one." Were his last words, before he darted off.

"Asshole." She grumbled, following her friends.

They had found a way in, similar to the one Sasha had made back at the Hilltop, They were in Meriden.

"What's that smell?" Gabriel asked, his voice near silent.

"Anything too rotten to eat or use." Maggie answered. "It's why there's nobody out here. Do you remember where you're going?"

"Top floor, second room, southwest corner of the building." He reported.

"Just remember to wait for either of our signals."

"Got it."

"We do this, and we get the food and we go home." Maggie reminded.

He nodded, leaving them.

Maggie led the way, whilst Natalia followed, ready for attack, as they raced for a red pick up truck.

They jumped in, Natalia in the passenger seat and Maggie behind the wheel, searching for the key.

"Know how to hotwire?" Both asked at the same time. "Daryl." They also said, at the same time, it was almost scary.

Maggie opened up the compartment, exposing the wires, and Natalia held out a small knife, letting her put the car into action.

"Deaver, what's the status on the chain on that gate?" The radio asked.

"Heading to the garage now." Another voice replied, but it was also coming from out the window, he was near them.

"Mags."

"I know."

The man ran past them, not spotting either woman, but when Maggie started the truck, he took notice.

Natalia took back her knife, when he banged on her window, begging for them to stop.

Natalia rolled down it down, grabbing a hold of the man's shirt, stabbing him through the head, with the same knife Maggie had used to cut the wires.

With him taken care of, she picked up speed, swerving around the place.

"On three." She warned.

"Two... One." Natalia called, as they both jumped out the car, letting the car slam into the gate, knocking it open, inviting the walkers in.

Natalia rolled on the ground, avoiding impact before jumping up, continuing to follow Maggie.

A man had caught up to them, swinging at Maggie, but Natalia was quicker, shooting him down, but she jumped when another shot came, a body falling behind her, another reaper, they looked towards the window, seeing a rifle poking out.

Gabriel had made it.

The two women ran, feeling slightly victorious as Gabriel took out the men behind them.

"Pope is dead." The voice of Leah spoke through the radio Natalia was still carrying. "Dixon murdered him. He's with the enemy."

"Fuck sake" Natalia growled.

"Shaw, repeat. Pope is dead?" Carver asked. "Leah, do you copy? We're on our way."

"He can handle himself, come on." Maggie encouraged.

As the reapers fought the walkers, Maggie and Natalia joined the others in fighting the reapers.

Natalia ducked under the grasp of one of the men, stabbing him in between the ribs, pushing him into the reach of a walker, letting it chow down on the man as he tried to get away.

"Fall back." The radio's buzzed. "Fall back."

The men, with much hesitation, did as told, leaving them to the walkers.

"You've got to be shitting me." Negan sighed, watching. "They're retreating."

"Yeah, cause they're, fucking pussies!" her hands making a circle over her mouth, as she shouted at them.

"But why?" Maggie looked around for the reason.

Leah was on the roof, staring down at them.

"I shoulda kicked her ass when I had the chance." Natalia sighed, seeing the flash of red behind the bitchy looking woman.

Fireworks shot out, towards them, landing in the walkers, causing them to explode.

Maggie and Natalia ducked for cover, running in between the walkers, searching for shelter, they hid behind a building, where a reaper was also held up, as soon as Natalia saw movement, she threw a knife.

"Let's go!" Maggie grabbed her, when she bent down to retrieve one of her beloved weapons.

They ran through the small alley, hearing footsteps behind them, finding an slightly ajar door, and running through it, letting it slam shut behind them as they sprinted up the stairs, and behind another door.

Then the creak of someone else entering the hallway sounded, the two shared a look before slowly turning the corner, seeing an injured Elijah being supported by Negan, limping towards them.

"We got one on our tail, I think." Maggie told them.

"We lost ours." Negan replied to her.

"We need to take care of that bleeding. Let's go."

Maggie led them to the infirmary, and Natalia moved towards the shelves, snatching up equipment to help.

"This way." Maggie left through a secret door, that resembled shelves, and Negan, being the last person, shut it behind him.

"I love that." Natalia told Maggie, going to work on bandaging Elijah.

"Okay, what now?" Negan asked.

"Wait till dawn. Hunt them down." Maggie shared her new plan.

"Why don't we just get the food and go?" Elijah asked, grunting through pain.

"Yeah, we're going to walk out of here with our arms full." She snarked.

"As long as we walk out of here, yeah." Negan pushed. "Unless chow ain't the only thing we're here for."

"No, I want them dead, there's no other way to escape them, and... I want to see them dead." Natalia piped up.

"Carver, report." Leah's voice came through, from beyond the secret door.

"In the infirmary. The leader and her little friend slugged me, but I'll get the both of them."

"Just find them. Not one of them is getting out of here alive." Leah replied.

"Copy that."

Negan couldn't argue with that.

Next

[gabur32]

Chapter 2: Fálaina Criminals

**We arrived.**

**Uoni:** This is the island where the outsiders were living; it’s a ruin.

**Did you ask me what happened here?**

**Uoni:** What is this? Are you telling me this is the world you live in?

Uoni turns to Lykos and grabs the collar of her shirt.

**Uoni:** Come on, tell me.

**Chakuro:** Uoni, stop it!

I don’t have time for this; I need to find the heart.

S/n starts to walk away.

**Chakuro:** Ah! S/n, wait, we should stick together.

**S/n:** I won’t go too far, don’t worry about me.

And she’s gone.

⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏

S/n continues her path, passing by a series of graves, which are numerous in the area. Further ahead, she enters a small tower on her way.

**S/n:** I’m close; the heart is beating faster now... Thinking about it, it’s been eight years since everything happened.

As she walks further into the tower, she comes across an entrance covered by curtains. Upon entering the room, S/n is met with a surprising sight.

**I found you.**

She stands still for a moment, just observing the scene before her, until she hears footsteps approaching.

Lykos enters the room, followed by Uoni and Chakuro.

**Chakuro:** AHHHHHHHHHHHH?!

Why scream?

**Chakuro:** W-What is this?!

**Uoni:** You brought us here to show us this? What is it? Answer me.

**Chakuro:** Lykos...?

**Lykos:** Lykos is not my name.

If that’s not her name, then could it be the name...

S/n looks at the creature in front of her.

**Lykos:** Lykos is the name of this creature called Nous.

So that’s its name... Lykos, huh?

Looking at the Nous with a gentle expression.

**Lykos:** Nous... means the shape of a soul. It consumes people's emotions, absorbing them.

**Lykos:** We give our emotions to the Nous; that’s why we have none. The people who found the Nous chose to entrust their emotions to it.

The girl Lykos turns to all of us.

**Lykos:** Emotions destroy the world; they are unnecessary.

**Lykos:** The world out there is where heartless people use apathetic, emotionless beings to continue an endless war.

**Lykos:** Does my world have what you’re looking for? ...Go back to your home; I will die here alone, on this ship.

**Chakuro:** Lykos...

**Uoni:** I don’t care if there’s a war or not; I don’t want to be trapped in the mud whale any longer.

He starts to approach the Nous.

**Uoni:** If it means getting out of here, then I will give up all my emotions.

When he touches the Nous, Chakuro tries to stop him, but it’s no use, as Uoni pushes Chakuro toward the Nous as well.

S/n can’t help but feel irritated by this.

**S/n:** WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

S/n pulls Uoni away from the Nous, and Lykos does the same with Chakuro. However, S/n can’t resist the curiosity of discovering what the Nous was feeling and decides to touch it.

He likes to see people, what she felt, thought, and how they came to give their emotions to him, but even so, he feels sadness because he can’t see them anymore; after all, if things continue like this, he might die.

This was so melancholic for her.

S/n feels someone pulling her shoulder; it was Uoni.

**S/n:** ... Let’s go.

⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏

When you all left the room and returned to where the boat was, you could see the patrollers starting to arrive on the island in the distance. There wasn’t much to do besides closely watch the approach of the patrollers.

After about 30 minutes, the patrollers finally reached the area. The atmosphere was tense as Lykos was led to one of the boats, and Sami was checking on Chakuro. Meanwhile, Masoh was scolding Uoni. While observing all this, S/n remained seated on the ground, absorbing the scene and reflecting on recent events.

Amidst the silence, a familiar person approached her, drawing her attention. It was someone she knew well.

**Tokusa:** S/n, are you okay?

**S/n:** Yes, I’m fine, - she replied with a nod.

**Tokusa:** You’re a terrible liar.

**S/n:** But I’m not lying.

**Tokusa:** When you’re bothered by something, you tend to furrow your brow.

**S/n:** ...

**Tokusa:** You’re not going to tell me, are you?

**S/n:** No, I’m not.

**Tokusa:** That’s fine; I won’t force you to tell.

He extends his hand to her, and she takes it to stand up.

**Tokusa:** But don’t make me worry again, okay? When I found out you were here, I really worried about you.

**S/n:** That’s because you’re an idiot.

**Tokusa:** Am I not getting a "thank you"?

**S/n:** ... Thank you, Tokusa. - She looks away and whispers.

**Tokusa:** I didn’t catch that; could you repeat?

**S/n:** I said you’re a complete idiot.

She walks toward the boats.

**Tokusa:** I was just joking! Hey, S/n, wait for me!

He runs to catch up with her.

⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏

We were before the council; however, Lykos was not present for obvious reasons, since Uoni had kind of kidnapped her earlier.

**Hakuji:** You saw many graves, but was that all?

**Uoni:** Just that.

**Hakuji:** And you, Chakuro?

**Hakuji:** And you, Chakuro?

**Chakuro:** That’s all; we didn’t see anything else.

**Hakuji:** S/n?

**S/n:** The same as them, but I would like to emphasize that I went to the island of my own accord.

**Hakuji:** Why?

**S/n:** Although limited, I have a little knowledge of medicine. Therefore, if someone got hurt, I could help by being there with them.

She’s lying, but she doesn’t really care.

**Hakuji:** Is that all?

**S/n:** Yes, sir.

**Hakuji:** *sighs* Alright, let’s believe what you said.

**Hakuji:** Taisha, tell everyone that all trips to the island are prohibited.

**Taisha:** What about exploring resources?

**Hakuji:** You are not allowed to bring anything back.

⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏

The council’s final decision was that you three would spend some time in the Recluse.

And here you are, in a dark, monotonous, and, to be honest, quite uncomfortable room.

As you think for a bit, you remember when you were a child and used to come to this place more easily.

Chakuro is asleep with his head resting on your lap while you gently stroke his hair. On the other hand, we have the problematic young man with black hair, or as you nicknamed him in your thoughts, "turtle boy."

**Uoni:** What are you looking at?

He turns to you.

Oh! You’ve been staring at him for a while.

**S/n:** Ah, I’m just looking wherever I want.

He sighs.

**Uoni:** Why did you help me?

**S/n:** What are you talking about?

**Uoni:** When we were on the island.

**S/n:** Before I answer your question, let me ask: what’s the point if you don’t feel anything? No matter where you go, whether to see the most beautiful view in the world or the most horrible, you won’t have any emotion.

**Uoni:** ...

**S/n:** Now, to answer your question, whether you’re marked or not, it’s my duty to ensure everyone’s safety, including you.

He remains silent.

**S/n:** ... How is Nibi?

**Uoni:** Why do you want to know?

**S/n:** I have my reasons.

**Uoni:** He’s fine.

**S/n:** Then good. Good night, turtle boy.

**Uoni:** What...

**S/n:** I said Uoni (• - •;)

⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏

The next day, you and Chakuro were released, as someone claimed to have seen Chakuro being taken by Uoni. The council of elders considered the fact that you acted with the intent of ensuring the safety of Uoni and Chakuro.

**You left at a very opportune moment; why? Today, the phenomenon of flight will occur. What is that?**

Well...

Around the mud whale, there are enormous crickets known as hoshiboshi crickets. They survive by feeding on the photosynthetic waste present in the whale. When they reach adulthood, these crickets transform into creatures adapted for long migrations. At night, they begin their journey by emitting a radiant light.

We call this the phenomenon of flight.

S/n needed to work but didn’t want to stay cooped up at home that day. She decided to go to her house to grab some paper and pencil and then headed to the place where the small boats were.

⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏

Meanwhile, elsewhere, with the sun nearly setting, the landscape was beginning to turn to night.

**Sami:** Do you think S/n will show up this year?

**Ro:** I don’t think so.

**Nezu:** Chakuro, you guys left the recluse at the same time, right? Do you know if she’s coming?

**Chakuro:** Ahh! Actually, I forgot to ask if she wanted to come.

**Sami:** You were supposed to ask her.

**Chakuro:** You visit her almost every day, so why didn’t you ask her?

**Sami:** I was going to call her, but I had to wait for you to get out of the recluse. When you went to fetch Lykos, I even went to her house, but she wasn’t there.

**Nezu:** Do you think someone invited her before you did?

**Ro:** I don’t think so; people don’t usually talk to her, and she’s not very sociable either.

**Chakuro:** But what if someone did invite her? Maybe a boyfriend?

**Sami:** She doesn’t have a boyfriend. I asked her once, and besides, she can only marry one person!

**Nezu:** Who?

**Sami:** Her brother. *She strikes a pose and smiles to herself.*

**Chakuro, Ro, and Nezu:** What?!

⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙

Back to you.

You were busy writing the files of the residents, and so far, you had finished 98 of them. Only 402 remained.

Distracted with your work, you didn’t notice when someone approached.

Suddenly, an aura began to manifest on the surface of the sheet you were writing on. The sheet, along with the aura, passed over your head and reached someone’s hand.

You recognized the aura immediately; after all, it belonged to the captain of the patrollers.

**S/n:** *sighs* Could you please give that back to me? Right now.

**Shuan:** It’s a surprise to see you here, miss.

She looks at him.

**Shuan:** Here you go.

He hands you the file.

**Shuan:** Why are you here, miss?

**S/n:** That’s none of your business.

**Shuan:** If I weren’t interested, I wouldn’t be asking, miss.

**S/n:** And stop calling me that.

He smiles and moves closer to you.

**Shuan:** Anyway, miss, would you like to take a boat ride?

**S/n:** ..... .... ....

**Shuan:** You seem a bit hesitant. Are you afraid of going out to sea?

**S/n:** OF COURSE NOT!!!

He laughs.

**Shuan:** If you say so.

He steps into one of the boats and extends his hand to you.

You ignore the gesture and get into the boat without accepting his outstretched hand.

The sea was calm, but you still wondered if it was a good idea to get into the boat.

**Shuan:** Are you sure you’re not scared, miss?

**S/n:** S-shut up! And I already told you not to call me "miss."

**Shuan:** Hahaha.

After that, the phenomenon of flight begins.

...Kaito, I think you would have enjoyed this sight...

End of the day, July 6, Year 93.

---

That same night, you had a dream.

**Sami** was **attacked by balls**, seeming to be **placed in front of someone**. His **vacant eyes reflected the lack of life**, while his **body was covered in blood**.

**Taisha** was also **injured**, **fallen to the ground with patches of blood** against her **reddish hair**.

**Tokusa** **fell into a small army of corpses**, surrounded by other lifeless bodies.

And finally, **Nibi** was **brutally wounded**, his **body bleeding** until it **fell onto the arms of someone**.

The only time you managed to sleep in three days, you had a dream like this.

What a wonder.

But.

You would be more attentive from now on; you have to trust your dreams, after all, it was they that gave you insight.

⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏

Today, you had to help with the planting. Since you woke up in the middle of the night, you managed to finish your work much earlier than expected. Now, with no more "work" to do, you had to help with the planting, even though that wasn’t your job.

You were in the company of Suou, Sami, and Chakuro. It’s no surprise to anyone that Suou is not athletic at all. In fact, he has difficulty holding a small axe. You remember a time when the axe even slipped from his hand.

Oops! It just happened again.

**S/n:** It’s sad and also disappointing, Suou.

**Suou:** Don’t say that!

**Sami:** I think the only problem my brother has is that he’s not athletic.

**S/n:** Yes, it’s a pity.

**Suou:** Why are you all so harsh with me?

Chakuro and Sami started chatting, but you couldn’t help but think about something.

**S/n:** I’m sure that in the future, you two will get married.

**Suou:** What did you say?!

**S/n:** Why are you acting like this? The marked usually marry young, have children early, start a family young, and die young. I’d say precocity is a characteristic of life in the Mud Whale.

**Suou:** Please don’t say that.

**S/n:** How lovely of you. Well, I have to go now. You take care.

**Suou:** L-lovely... (⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠-⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)

⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏

After resolving some matters in the main tower, you were about to leave when **Taisha** saw you and wanted to ask you something.

**Taisha:** S/n?

**S/n:** Yes?

**Taisha:** Are you okay? Did something happen?

**S/n:** I’m fine; nothing happened.

**Taisha:** Are you sure?

**S/n:** Why are you so worried about this?

**Taisha:** You seem troubled by something.

**S/n:** I have a feeling that something is going to happen.

**Taisha:** Are you worried about someone?

**S/n:** Actually, more than one person.

**Taisha:** Can I know who they are?

You visibly blush.

**S/n:** You’re one of them. *she whispered*

**Taisha:** Really, me? Why?

**S/n:** You’re an important person to me.

**Taisha:** I’m very happy to hear that, but you shouldn’t worry so much. The last time you worried so much, you ended up getting sick.

**S/n:** That was just once.

**Taisha:** Don’t speak about your health as if it’s insignificant.

**S/n:** Okay, okay, I’ll stop worrying if it calms you down.

**Taisha:** Thank you.

Then she hugs you.

**Taisha:** You can always count on me; you know that, right?

**S/n:** Of course I know.

She returns the hug.

**S/n:** Thank you so much, Ms. Taisha.

⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙

You are on your way home. However, you don’t live in the same place where the other unmarked reside. A few years ago, you requested permission from the council to live in another location, claiming it would be more suitable for your work. Perhaps you told a little white lie, but there was also another unmarked who didn’t live there.

**S/n:** Taisha is right; I shouldn’t worry... But still... if it were nothing, why would that dream have changed?

You sigh and look at a sandy bar, more specifically at the island to the right.

However, something shiny catches your attention.

**S/n:** But what is that?

Bang! Bang!

⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙

(⁠☞ﾟ⁠ヮﾟ⁠)⁠☞Curiosities

**Thymia** is the telekinetic power of the marked inhabitants of the Mud Whale. They go out to the sandy sea to hunt and search for supplies. Although Thymia is a demonstration of emotions, using it without being in control is taboo.

**Aura** refers to luminous figures that appear on the surface of the skin and above the heads of Thymia users. It is said that the larger the area of skin they appear on, the greater the person's power.

**Author's Note:**

Hello, how are you all? I’d like to clarify that this book will feature several romantic interests for our dear MC, or S/n.

I already have some romantic interests in mind, such as Uoni, Suou, Shuan, Rochalizo, Orka, and Ryodari.

I know there are also people who like the twins, Shikoku and Shikon. So, if you want to include them in the list, please let me know.

Additionally, there are other characters I’m considering, but I’m still not sure. In any case, if you wish for a specific character, please let me know.

[kazoosandfannypacks]

"It Now Belongs To You" by kazoosandfannypacks

Chapter 6/10: A Bluff About Bluffs Pairing: CaptainSwan Rating: T Word Count: (406/10.6K) Summary: When Emma and Killian receive a pair of magic beans as a wedding gift, they take a voyage on the Jolly Roger for their honeymoon- but a wrench is thrown into their romantic getaway when they run into a notorious pirate who's staked a claim on the Jolly Roger. Chapter Summary: Killian watches as Emma sets the stage for her bet with Black Beard Tags: post-canon, canon compliant, fluff, no smut, suggestive themes, alcohol, gambling, self indulgent fluff with a sprinkling of angst Author's notes: What's this? Kazzy's updatint INBTY on Wednesday? is this a fluke? Another false alarm? An incident she'll need to fire the intern for? NOPE! Mostly, this is me wanting to give you guys a little more content, since this chapter and the last one were so short. It's also a thank you to you guys for all the comments, reblogs and kudos. You've no idea how much your support means to me! (and don't worry; i'll still post on wednesday too as scheduled!) Taglist: @zahara @kmomof4 @jonesfandomfanatic @booksteaandtoomuchtv @jrob64 @tiganasummertree @anmylica @teamhook @undercaffinatednightmare @gingerchangeling @lonelyspectator @caught-in-the-filter @ultraluckycatnd @cs-rylie [if you'd like to be added to or removed from this list, hmu in my dms or askbox!]

Also on Ao3!

 Killian couldn't believe what he was watching. He could handle the loss of the magic bean, and even his third loss of the Jolly Roger. But the thought of Emma, his new bride- with the greasy pirate Black Beard- Black Beard was everything he'd tried to overcome in himself to become worthy of Emma- she deserved better than to spend even a moment with a sleazebag like him, let alone a night.

 And yet, here she was, about to play a cards with a cheat so smooth, he could hold six aces and none would realize his deception.

 Black Beard picked up the deck and began to shuffle, but Emma stopped him, placing her hand on the deck and partially on Black Beard's grubby hand.

 "Who said anything about cards?" Emma asked. "Haven't you fellows ever played Davy Jones' Liar?"

 Killian had never heard of such a game, and, apparently, neither had Black Beard.

 "It's a dice game- they say Davy Jones' crew plays it on The Flying Dutchman. I learned how to play from Bootstrap Bill himself- one of few men to escape the grip of the locker."

 The name "Bootstrap Bill" sounded familiar, and Killian recalled that it was the name of a character from those blasted pirate moving picture shows Emma'd made him watch.

 Emma took ten dice from the side of the table, handed five to Black Beard and kept five for herself, then continued.

 "A simple bluffing game- involving all the dice on the table, not just your own. Roll the dice; keep yours hidden. Call out how many there are of that number- of both yours and my dice- if I can raise your bluff, I will, and if you think you can raise that bluff, you can- but if at any point we think the other must be bluffing, we call them a 'liar' and show all the dice. Loser throws a die off to the side; last player with dice wins."

 "You're on." Blackbeard said.

 As panicked as Killian had been at the onset, he now realized he needed his poker face to hide his excitement. No matter how long he'd known Emma for, she always found a way to surprise him, to amaze him- and here was a bloody brilliant example. This game was all about bluffing and lying, and Emma, unbeknownst to Black Beard, had a sixth sense about lies.

 Black Beard didn't stand a chance.

[middleearthpixie]

Seven Days ~ Chapter Fifteen

Seven Days -  Modern Tolkien AU

Firefighter Frerin Durin died in a fire set deliberately. But after he helps his brother, Thorin find happiness, Frerin is offered a second chance. He has to prove himself worthy by righting the one major wrong in his life. Otherwise, history will repeat and he will die for good this time. The catch? He has seven days in which to do this and isn’t even certain what his major wrong is.

At least, he doesn’t know for long. 

Syd Prescott has known Frerin since high school. She spent one night with him and then he vanished from her life. Now, he claims he wants to make it up to her, to right was he realizes was his major wrong. But can she trust him? And can he prove to her that she can before it’s too late? 

A/N - This story is the sequel to Miss Fortune, but is a stand alone story. 

Summary: Frerin tells Syd the truth about his being given a second chance…

Pairing: Modern!Frerin x OFC Syd Prescott

Characters: Frerin, Syd, Tori, Tony DiBenedetto, Steve Wheeler

Warnings: None

Rating: T

Word Count: 5,084

Tag List: @tschrist1 @i-did-not-mean-to @lathalea @linasofia @fizzyxcustard @legolasbadass @kibleedibleedoo @xxbyimm @arrthurpendragon @exhausted-humxn-being @rachel1959 @laurfilijames @sketch-and-write-lover @sherala007 @enchantzz @knittastically @notlostgnome @myselfandfantasy @medusas-hairband @guardianofrivendell @jotink78 @frosticenow @quiall321 @dianakc

If you’d like to be added (or removed) to the tag list, please just let me know!

Previous chapters can be found here.

Frerin reluctantly pulled his hand free to keep on the wheel as the roads grew slicker by the minute. Snow swirled in all directions and he breathed a silent sigh of relief when he angled into the lot behind the firehouse and parked next to Tony DiBenedetto’s Dodge Ram 1500. “It’s probably a good thing you’re agreeable to staying close to home,” he said, glancing over at her before he killed the engine. 

“I’m pretty leery of the Parkway on a good day, never mind a snowy night.”

“Yeah? Why? I mean, we all hate the Parkway, but leery of it?”

She looked over at him. “My mom and dad were killed in a wreck on the Parkway. The summer after I graduated high school.”

“Oh, shit, Syd, I didn't know. I’m sorry.”

“Thanks but why would you? It was a long time ago, and the guy who hit them hadn’t slept in something like two or three days. Still, on a night like tonight? I’d rather not be on it.”

“Yeah, I get that.” He tugged the keys from the ignition. “Are you sure you want to be subjected to these guys?”

“How bad can they be?”

He just stared at her a moment. “Do you really want an answer to that?”

Even in the barely-there light afforded by the streetlights, he saw her cheeks redden. She blushed more easily than any woman he’d ever known and she’d kill him if she knew how it turned him on. There was just something so hot about how it took so little to make her cheeks go pink. 

“I’m kidding,” he said, offering up a silent prayer to the Big Guy to not make a liar of him. Normally, they were all fairly well-behaved around wives and girlfriends, but no one was perfect and every now and again, manners were forgotten. Hopefully tonight would not be one of those times. 

He climbed out and came around to her side as she did the same. Her hand found its way into his, a soft jolt rippling along his arm at the contact. He glanced down, wondering if she’d felt it as well, but she looked up at the rear of the station. It was a typical red-brick firehouse, the metal staircase at the back leading up to the second floor barrack. A door just beneath it led to the four-bay garage and as they stepped inside, Frerin squinted at the brightness of the lights after the darkness of the parking lot. 

“Hey, Durin, what’re you doing here? Don’t you have a life—oh, sorry, man, didn’t see you had someone with you.”

Frerin smiled as Syd’s fingers tightened about his. “I’m here because I have a life, but apparently not a functioning brain. I left my wallet in my locker.” He looked from Tony to Syd. “Tony DiBenedetto, Syd Prescott. Syd, Tony. Don’t worry, his bark is weak and his bite weaker still.” 

“You wish,” Tony shot back with a grin, which he then turned on Syd. “It’s nice to meet you, Syd. Your family owns the spook—er—mystical shop, don’t they?”

Frerin bit back a wince, but Syd just smiled and nodded. “We do and it’s okay to call it a spook shop. I promise you, we don’t get offended by that.”

“Oh, thank God,” Tony breathed. “My wife gets stuff from there all the time, so I really didn't mean it as an insult.”

“Okay, I’m just going to show Syd around, grab my wallet, and then get out of here before I find myself yanked on duty. Who else is on tonight?”

“Full house tonight. You’ve been warned.”

“Got it.” Frerin let go of Syd’s hand and let his come to rest at the small of her back. Heat from her body sank into his palm and the urge to just pull her into his arms and kiss her nearly overwhelmed him. But instead, he said, “I’ll give you the tour.”

“Lead on,” she said, smiling up at him.

He felt that smile clear through to the core of his being. Was this what the Big Guy wanted for him? What if the wrong he had to right had nothing to do with not calling Syd back in August, but everything to do with falling in love with her. Maybe the wrong was being with Lisa and not with Syd. He didn't know, but as he led her about the apparatus bay, where the engines were parked, and the equipment was kept, and answered her questions and watched as the other firefighters greeted her (and behaved) and how she smiled and easily conversed with them, he had the feeling that might have been it after all. He didn't know. All he did know was that for the first time in his life, he was happy. Truly happy. Content. He didn't feel the need to try to impress Syd. Didn't feel the need to brag about her—or more aptly, brag about sleeping with her. He wasn't worried about what other women were out there, and what he might be missing out on by settling down with one. In fact, it was just the opposite. As he watched Syd chatting away with Tony, Frerin realized he didn't want to leave her. Ever. He wanted to stay right there, with her, for the rest of his life.

He’d told Thorin he was in love with Syd. He’d told Tori the same. He wanted to tell Syd how he felt. But, what if he did and he scared her off? Then, come tomorrow…

His gut curdled and a sour taste flooded his mouth. A hint of panic gnawed at his insides. He was almost out of time. And he had no way of knowing whether or not he’d done what the Big Guy told him he had to do. He wouldn’t know, until it was too late.

“Frerin?”

Syd’s soft voice broke through his troubling reverie and he jumped. “Yeah? What?”

“Are you all right? You went pale for a minute.”

“I’m fine. Just—just tired.” He turned to her. “Why don’t I get my wallet and we can go grab a bite to eat?”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. I am. Just tired, like I said.” He bit back a sigh as he met her beautiful aqua eyes. He had to tell her. He wanted to tell her. 

He just didn't know how she’d take hearing it. 

That was the risky part. 

“Are you sure?”

His heart began to beat what seemed like a thousand times a minute and his stomach was alive with butterflies. Or nervous knots. Or maybe they were the same thing. He didn't know. But his blood roared through his veins and his pulse pounded through his temples and his mouth went dry as he said, “Syd, there’s some—”

“Durin? What’re you doing here? Were’t you here when I came on this morning?”

Frerin swallowed the curse bubbling to his lips as he turned to Steve Wheeler. “Yeah, and I left my wallet here. Hopefully you guys will have a quiet night, but don’t count on it. It’s snowing like a bitch out there.”

“We can handle it.” Steve glanced over at Syd and smiled. “Hey, Lisa, right?”

Frerin’s gut kinked as Syd offered up a mild smile. “No, I’m not Lisa.”

“Oh… shit…” Steve’s eyes went wide. “I’m sorry, man. I thought you were—oh, I should just shut up, shouldn’t I?”

“This is Syd. Syd, this is Steve. He’s the resident dickhead.”

To her credit, Syd held out a hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Steve.”

“Nice to meet you, too, Syd. And I’m really sorry about that. I didn't know Frerin was lucky enough to meet another cute girl.”

“Meet her? I’ve known this cute girl since high school,” Frerin said, breathing an inward sigh of relief as her hand found its way back into his and her fingers threaded with his. Those slender fingers tightened around his and without thinking, he squeezed back. 

“And I’m only finding out about her now? That is a shame.”

Frerin grinned. “Yeah, too bad for you, huh? Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to get my wallet and take my girlfriend out to dinner. See you, Wheeler.”

He didn't wait for Steve to reply, but gave a gentle tug on Syd’s hand and led her around Wheeler and up the stairs to the common area. As they crested the top step, she looked up at him. “Girlfriend?”

“Yeah. I mean, since neither one of us is seeing anyone else, it makes sense.”

“Do I have to call you my boyfriend? That sounds so seventh grade.”

He winked at her. “Yeah, actually. I want to be known as your boyfriend. I think that’s how you should introduce me to everyone. I don’t even need a name. Just call me the boyfriend.”

“Frerin.”

“What?”

“Frerin!”

He chuckled and then bent to brush her lips with what he’d meant to be a quick kiss. But then, to his surprise, she caught his face in her hands and what started out as a quick kiss morphed into a slow, deep, tender kiss unlike any he’d ever had before. Her thumbs moved along his cheeks, her tongue caressed his, and when she drew back, he couldn't help himself as he whispered, “Damn, honey… what was that for?”

“Because you want me to call you the boyfriend.”

He grinned. “Let me get my wallet. I’ll be right back. Don’t let any of these guys hit on you, okay?”

“I’ll fight them off if I have to.”

“There are axes on the trucks if you need one. I’ll be right back.” He gestured to the sofa. “Make yourself comfortable. It’ll only take me a minute or two.”

“I’ll be fine, Frerin. Go.”

He turned to make his way into the locker room and as he opened his locker, Tori said, “You didn't tell her.”

“Would you stop that?”

“Why? You didn't even jump that time.”

He glared at her. “That doesn’t mean I like you popping out at me, you know. And no, I didn't tell her. I have tonight and tomorrow and I will tell her.”

“Frerin, you must tell her. Before tomorrow. The Big Guy said—”

“I know what He said.” He reached up to the top shelf, where his wallet was exactly where he’d left it, then glared at her. “And I have to be careful with this, Tori. Imagine how freaked out she’ll be when I tell her I’m the walking dead.”

“You aren’t dead, Frerin. You’re as alive as everyone else around you.”

“Right now. But I was dead last Thursday and I’ll be dead this Friday if I don’t handle this right. He’s got to understand that.”

She sighed softly and his gut kinked. “What? Did I screw this up?”

“No,” she shook her head, “you haven’t. You figured it out pretty quickly, actually and I think you actually impressed the Big Guy.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Just reminding you, is all. You’ve only got—”

“Tonight and tomorrow. I know.” Frerin leaned against the locker. He stared down at the floor for a moment before looking back up at her. “Look, I don’t know if you can even answer this or not, but I don’t remember what it was like. Dying, I mean. Can you just ask Him, if I don’t get this right, to make sure it doesn’t hurt? I mean, I know that’s really chickenshit of me, but… not knowing it was going to happen the last time, on top of not remembering what it was like, was one thing. I don’t have that luxury now and I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t really weighed on me.”

Tori’s eyes softened. “I’ll see what I can do. I think He’ll be agreeable. He’s not looking to punish you.”

Frerin nodded, a sigh rising to his lips. “And, one more thing. If I mess this up, maybe my family could not suffer so much? It almost killed my mom. Maybe He can find a way to ease up their grief a little? Especially Thorin. He ends up in a pretty dark place.”

“Sure. Again, I’ll see what I can do.”

“One more thing and I swear, it’s the last.” He glanced toward the doorway, as if he could see Syd, which he couldn’t, of course. Not the it mattered. She was permanently seared into his brain. “I don’t want Syd mourning me, okay?”

“You’ve mentioned all of this already, and I asked the Big Guy, just for clarification. Frerin,” Tori’s hand came to rest on his shoulder, “if it goes wrong, she won’t remember any of this. It will never have happened. The timeline will be as it was before.”

That stung, the pang swift and sharp, but even so, he nodded. “So, she’ll remember I screwed her and then vanished.” He drew in a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “It’s probably for the best that way. And maybe I can make sure she meets a decent guy, then—” those words hurt to say, as the thought of her with another guy kinked his guts sharply, but he meant it as he added, “she should be happy. I’ll have fucked it up, but maybe the next guy won’t.”

“Sure. We’ll both make sure, okay?”

He nodded, the lump in his throat making speaking impossible as he turned back toward the common area. He cleared his throat and whispered, “I love her. I want her to be happy, even if it’s not with me.”

He closed his eyes. They stung. His heart hurt. But at least he knew that his family would be okay. Thorin would be okay.

Syd would be okay.

“Frerin?” Syd’s voice floated toward him. “Are you all right?”

He peered over his shoulder toward the doorway to the locker room. “I should get back—” He turned to find Tori gone—“to Syd… yeah, if I fuck this up, I will never do this to Thorin again.”

“Frerin?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just had trouble finding my damn wallet, is all,” he came out of the locker room to find her leaning against the back of the sofa, “but I’ve got it now, so we can go.”

He’d lost count of how many times over the last five days that she’d looked at him with a furrowed brow and confused eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” He forced a smile to his lips as he slid an arm about her waist to pull her up against him. Selfish, but he wanted to put off the inevitable as long as he possibly could, because he had the feeling she would not react well. 

“Frerin, you look like you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders,” she murmured, curving a hand against his cheek. “What is it?”

Her touch was so gentle, her thumb grazing along his cheek. His eyes grew so heavy with the caress, and if they were alone, he’d probably melt into a puddle at her feet. But, he heard the footsteps on the stair treads and so drew back and said, “We should just go. You’ve got to be hungry by now and I promised you dinner.”

“I’m fine.” Her hand went still on him. “Frerin?”

“There’s nothing wrong, Syd. It’s just a long week, is all.”

She didn't look as if she believed him and he held his breath as he waited for her to push harder. But instead, she rose onto her tiptoes and brushed his lips with hers. “If you say so,” she whispered before lowering.

“It is, really.” He eased his other arm about her waist. “So, let’s go grab dinner and then go home and get to dessert.”

The sparkle in her eyes heated his blood, as did her whispered, “Or we could just skip dinner and do dessert instead?”

Dominic’s was the Italian place to go to in Cranford Falls, and Syd looked over at Frerin as he carefully angled the Jeep into a parking spot. He still looked so serious—more so than she’d ever seen him look and while that didn't mean a whole lot, it still troubled her. She knew if she asked again, he’d just tell her nothing was wrong and he’d probably be annoyed that she couldn’t let it go, but she couldn't let it go. A sense of foreboding had crept through the Jeep, one that she hadn’t felt before, and her stomach fluttered, the way it did before she went to get a cavity filled or when she watched a scary movie where something awful was about to happen to the character she was rooting for. 

He killed the ignition and pulled the key from the switch. The snow had thankfully stopped, but it as such a light, powdery one that it swirled with each gust of wind, so at times, the air was filled with sparkly particles blowing in all directions.

“Frerin?”

“Syd, nothing’s wrong. I told you, it’s just been a really long week.”

She pressed her lips together, drew in a deep breath, then exhaled slowly, saying, “I know I keep bugging you about it, but I can’t help it.”

“You’re not bugging me.” He looked over at her then and offered up an almost-wistful smile. “It’s actually kind of nice, since the only women who ever really fuss over me are my mom and Dís. But, I promise you, everything is fine.”

“You’ll tell me if my fussing annoys you?”

He shook his head. “It won’t.”

“Why don’t I believe that?”

He grinned and winked. “Why would I lie about that?”

He didn't wait for her to answer, but thrust open his door and climbed out, so she did the same. Coming around the nose of the Jeep, she said, “True. Men live to be fussed over.”

“We do,” he caught her around the waist and tugged her close, “because we are sensitive and like to be cared for.”

“You’re so full of it.”

“What? You don’t think I’m sensitive?” He loomed over her, his eyes glittering in the soft halo of light cast by the streetlamp in the parking lot. “I can’t watch movies with animals in them because they make me cry.”

“What?”

“True story, honey. Ask Thorin if you don’t believe me. He used to pick on me mercilessly about it.”

“Do you really cry over them?”

“Yeah. Why would I make that up? It doesn’t exactly make me look like a tough guy.” 

“I don’t know I’d say that. You’re still a tough guy, Frerin.”

“Good. At least I still have that going for me.”

The wind picked up then, stirring his dark hair into short peaks and sent more snow swirling about them. His eyes grew serious once more and that foreboding feeling swept through her as she realized his aura had begun to change. It was rare to see it actually happen, but it grew redder, while the green softened and the blue deepened. 

“Frerin, something is going on with you. I can see it. I can literally see it. Please, tell me.”

“Syd, I—”

“What? What is it?”

He took a deep breath. “I’m in love with you, Syd. And I’ve been in love with you since I was fourteen years old and in the ninth grade and didn't even know what the fuck love was.”

That was the last thing she expected him to say and for a moment, it felt as if her heart had stopped beating, as if all of the air had been sucked out of the world at that very moment. She stared up at him, her blood roaring through her temples as she whispered, “What?”

“Yeah, I know. It’s insane, right? We’ve only gone out a couple of times, but… yeah, I am. And you’re looking at me like you’re afraid I’ve lost my mind, but I’m not crazy. I promise you that, Syd. I’m not. I was just… I was stupid and blind and didn't see what was right in front of me.”

“Frerin,” she swallowed hard as she met those soft blue eyes, “you know that’s nuts, right?”

“Why?”

“Because what does a guy like you see in—”

“Christ, Syd, don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Don’t give me that crap about a guy like me. I know what I was. I was a selfish asshole who was too scared to call you because… because you’re too fucking good for me.”

“Oh, please. That’s a load of bullshit and you know it.”

“Syd, I’ve been fantasizing about you since I was fourteen years old.”

“That is not love.”

“No, but I’m not fourteen any more, either. I know what love is now, and it’s been staring me in the face for the last four months and I just didn't see it. And now I do and—and I want to see what comes next. With you. And with any luck, I’ll actually live to see my thirtieth birthday now,  so—”

He realized his mistake as her eyes narrowed. “What?”

“Nothing, Syd. It’s—it’s nothing.”

“No, what do you mean, you’ll actually live to see your thirtieth birthday now?” She pulled free of him, stepping back to stare up at him. “What is this about, Frerin Durin? And I want the truth. And don't you dare tell me it’s nothing!”

“Syd,” he stepped back, breaking contact with her and she knew she wasn't imaging the pain in his eyes, “I don’t even know where to begin with this, so, I’m just going come out and tell you, okay?”

“Tell me what?”

His expression grew more serious than she’d ever imagined it could. “Syd, I know this will sound completely crazy, but I swear to Christ, I’m not making it up. I’m not lying. I’m not bullshitting you.”

“Frerin.”

“Okay. I—holy shit, I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Try the beginning.” She couldn't keep the annoyance out of her voice. 

“Last Friday, when I came into your shop, I—uh—that morning, before I woke up in my own bed, in my own house, I was… I was—uh—I was dead.”

She just stared at him, a prickle racing along the back of her neck. “You were what?”

“Dead. Yeah, I know how it sounds, but it wasn’t December until I opened my eyes. It was June, maybe July, I don’t know. I just know it was summer next year. But time has no meaning on the other side, Syd, so it all blends together. But this December, this moment right now, never happened. None of the last week happened. I was killed in a fire, one set deliberately at my house. Your sister wasn't seeing Thorin. I brought them together because I was able to come back and ask her to help find out who barbecued me.”

“You were killed.”

“Yes.”

“In a fire in your house?”

“Yes.”

“Deliberately.”

“Yes. Someone thought I was sniffing around his sister—which I wasn’t—and figured he’d make it loud and clear what happened when a guy did that. He burned my house down with me in it.”

“But, you’re not dead now.” 

“I’m not, no. I was given a second chance.”

“By God?”

“We call him the Big Guy, but more or less, yes.” Frerin rubbed the back of his neck slowly. “He gave me the chance to come back. To right the biggest mistake I’d ever made.”

Her belly fluttered, butterflies coming to life by the hundreds, judging by the way they battered about her insides. Only this time, instead of spreading aroused heat through her, they instead sent ice whooshing through her veins, leaving her chilled and numb. “What?”

“You, Syd. Not calling you was the biggest mistake I’d ever made. I should’ve and I really did mean to, but I really did chicken out.”

“And now, you want to what? Make it up to me?”

“Yes, exactly.” He stepped closer. “I love you and I have for a long time and I was an asshole for not seeing it sooner.”

“Are you insane?” She stepped back, bumping up against the side of the Jeep. “You honestly expect me to believe this? To believe you’ve come back from the dead in order to win me over? That’s just… I can’t even with that.”

“Syd, I swear to you, I know it sounds crazy. But it’s the truth. And I wanted to tell you, but how the fuck do I even begin to?”

“So, this is how you get women to go out with you? To sleep with you? You feed them—”

“No, not women, Syd. You. It’s you. It’s been you since I was fourteen—”

“Are you kidding me? I’m supposed to believe that you’ve been pining for me for sixteen years? And when I did go out with you and sleep with you, you up and vanish and then you come back a few months later with this?”

“Syd, look, you have to believe me.”

“Oh, do I? Really? Why? What happens if I don’t? What could possibly happen if I don’t believe this utterly ridiculous story?”

His jaw tightened. “I die again. Tomorrow night. Only this time, I won’t get another chance.”

“You’ll die.”

“Yeah. That’s what I meant by with any luck, I’ll actually live to see my thirtieth birthday now. This was the wrong I had to right. I had to win you back, to tell you how I feel and just hope you believe me.”

“Because if I don’t, you’ll die. Again.”

A sick feeling swept through her as he nodded. “Yeah, that’s exactly what will happen. I’ll die sometime tomorrow night, and you won’t remember any of it. Your sister won’t be with Thorin—at least not until the next summer—and I’m gone. For good. I won’t get another chance to fix anything. My family buries me and life goes on without me.”

She could only stare at him, her brain refusing to listen to this utter nonsense. He sounded sincere enough, but at the same time, he had to be talking nonsense to her. Did he think she was stupid enough to believe this?

“People don’t come back from the dead. We don’t get second chances and time doesn’t restart itself. There is no such thing as an alternate time line. And this is the shittiest thing any guy has ever done to me.”

“Shitty? Syd, I’m telling you the truth? And—”

“The truth? My family deals in this, remember? If nothing else, we would know whether or not it is possible to come back, as a fully-fleshed human being, and it is not possible!”

“Syd, listen—”

“And am I supposed to be flattered because you’re telling me this? Or are you telling me this to save your own fucking skin? Because I’ve had guys tell me some really out-there things to get me to sleep with them, and I’ve had guys who’ve sworn they’d die of blue balls if I didn't fuck them, but this is a first.”

“I’m not lying to you, I swear on my dog’s life. On my mother’s life. On my own fucking life, Syd.”

“Yeah. Sure. And you know what? I’d thought you really had changed, Frerin.”

“I have. I was telling you the truth when I told you the Frerin you knew in August is dead. He is. I’ve spent six months on the other side of the veil and I don’t know why, but I was given a second chance. And that chance was to make things right with you.” 

He reached for her hand, but she jerked away from him. “Then why not tell me right from the beginning?”

“Because who’d believe it?” His expression grew pained as he let his hand fall back to his side. “But I swear to you, Syd, I just want to be with you. I love you and I have for a really long time.”

“You’ve been lying to me this whole time.”

“No, I just couldn't figure out how to tell you. And I was afraid this would happen.”

“So, you used me as well.”

He flinched, then shook his head. “No, Syd. I didn’t. I promise you, I didn’t. I’m being honest, one-hundred percent honest with you. Look, maybe Tori can back me up on this.”

Syd’s gut kinked sharply. “Tori? Who is Tori?”

“She’s… I don’t even know what either of us were. Ghosts? Angels? I’m not sure. But she was the first person I met on the other side and maybe you’ll believe her, if you won’t believe me.”

Syd just stood there, staring at him like she’d never seen him before as he looked skyward and called, “Tori? Now would be a great time for you to just pop in.”

She looked up as well, as if there was actually some chance an angel would suddenly appear and validate Frerin’s ridiculous story. And the moment she did, she felt like the biggest fool walking. Of course there as nothing up there but sky. This was all a lie. All some twisted bullshit story told to her by a guy who got his jollies fucking with her, apparently. 

She jerked her head back down and glared at him. “You’re nuts. And I am not about to humor you, Frerin. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to fall for your act again.” She strode away from him, toward the sidewalk.

He hurried after her. “Syd, where are you going?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t really want to be around you right now.”

“Why? I’m telling you the truth, honey. Letting you get away was the worst mistake I’d ever made and now, I can right it and I want to right it. I love you.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“Yeah, I know, look,” he grabbed her wrist to jerk her to a halt, “just stop.”

“No!” She yanked her arm from his grasp. “Leave me alone, Frerin. Go find another desperate simp to charm. Maybe she’ll be stupid enough to believe this idiotic story.”

“Syd—”

Tears blinded her eyes as she turned and stormed off, yanking her cell phone from her purse to call for an Uber. She’d never felt as stupid as she did right then, and she never wished so hard that she’d never met Frerin Durin. 

[galactic-star-bruiser]

Savior Complex

I will ride the Phoebe x din train until I die on it.

Din x f!reader

angst, fluff, confessions, anxious Din <3

Savior Complex

Emotional affair

Overly sincere

Smoking in the car, windows up

Crocodile tears, run the tap 'til it's clear

Bruises littered my tired body as I slunk into the crest. 

He trailed behind me, heart and hurt hidden behind armor.

My own name rang in my ears in the sound of his modulated voice.

He had always been so quick to protect me, quite literally throwing himself in front of danger if he had to. 

It was sincere, honest, and brave.

Those adjectives couldn’t exactly describe his emotional output though.

He touched me like he cared and somehow made his gloved hands feel gentle as they healed the wounds that found their way to all parts of my body. 

He grazed his thumb against my bruises, and lingered on them a little too long, staring. 

Though, he’s never been as gentle with his words.

Drift off on the floor

I drag you to the shore

Sweating through the sheets

You're gonna drown in your sleep for sure

The endless nights of screams that came from his sleeping body found me most times sitting on a crate outside of his door, whispering to him that it was ‘okay’ until he had been lulled back to a restless sleep.

I never dared break the barrier between myself and his door... and he never asked me to. 

A few times I found him in the pilots seat, crouched and asleep. 

I always but a blanket over him... but he never mentioned it. 

Wake up and start a big fire

In our one room apartment

But I'm too tired

To have a pissing contest

One time he snapped at me and it felt like something broke inside me. Any part of my child self that was left in me began bursting into tears at feeling chastised.

He yelled because I had misplaced an old blaster of his. 

I felt the strain building over weeks, but it hurt none the less.

“Okay” was all I said back to him before moving to leave. 

He stopped me. Apologized. But it felt cold. 

All the bad dreams that you hide

Show me yours, I'll show you mine

I could’ve been vulnerable with him. 

I haven’t even been able to scream out in my own nightmares because every night I was outside of his door, like a child.

Call me when you land

I'll drive around again

One hand on the wheel, one in your mouth

Turn me on and turn me down

Even though it hurt to be around him and I couldn’t read the signs anymore... I stayed. 

Everyday we were together the tension grew. I couldn’t tell if it was contempt or sexual. 

He was impossible. 

One moment he would be holding the small of my back as we walked side by side, but the next he’d be ignoring any attempt I made at conversation.

////////////////////

Baby, you're a vampire

You want blood and I promised

I knew how much I was screwing over what I wanted. 

I knew she wanted me to speak; to say anything back to her. 

I couldn’t. 

Sometimes id fake a scream just to feel her near to me. To hear her voice. 

I knew it was selfish... but she was the only thing that made me feel safe enough to sleep anyways.

So, I tried showing her how much I cared, how much I wanted her , through my actions,

I guess we aren’t very good at picking up each others cues.

It felt like being drained anytime I even attempted to make conversation with her. 

I was used to being willfully alone, or feared, or just simply left to be by myself. 

I didn’t want to be alone anymore. Not with her around. 

Words failed me unlike anything ever had. 

But I’d give her the world and murder anyone who even looked at her the wrong way. 

I'm a bad liar

With a savior complex

It was hard to control myself around her, with my hands and actions at least. 

It wasn’t even like I was holding back my words... they just never came. I just had the feeling to hold on to. 

Anything I wanted to say to her felt tainted, dirty, and like it would land against her skin and bruise it.

All the skeletons you hide

Show me yours and I'll show you mine

I was sick of myself. Sick of everything. Sick of hunting. Sick of not being able to touch her.

I snapped at her over something stupid that I don’t even remember and the look on her face made me feel like I was crumbling from the inside. 

She never left my side. I wish she was kind or maybe cruel enough to leave. 

I didn’t actually want that, but pushing away from what I wanted helped me to not feel the pain that love or desire wrought. 

I saw her leaning on the crest, waiting for me, with tears in her eyes. 

She shot me a pained smile, ducked her head, and walked in once she saw me, knowing I was there now and it was time to go. 

I’ll never understandd why she stayed with me... but I was grateful. 

I called out her name and it seemed as though it hit her somewhere deep. 

“Yes?” She replied as if I were a stranger 

“I’m sorry I snapped at you-“

“It’s over, you apologized. Its okay now”

why was she always so kind to me?

“No... it’s not” I walked up to her, grabbing her small hands and held them to my armored chest, “the apology was half-assed and we both know it. I genuinely am sorry, cyar’ika, I never want to hurt you.”

She didn’t pull back her hands, and she just stared into the T shape of my visor. 

“Thank you.” She said, but I could see in her eyes that she was hung up on the word I uttered in Mando’a,

“It means darling... sweetheart. Thats what you are to me and I’m sorry for not showing you that. I don’t know if I was scared... or, I guess I just couldn’t think of the words.”

My breath hitched in surprise as she wrapped her arms around me.

“It’s okay.” She said, arms never faltering in their embrace. 

I wrapped my arms around her with a hand on caressing her head, leaning it further into me. 

“You’ve said that every night... that it’s okay, from right outside my door.”

“I almost stopped, unsure if you even heard me or if it even did anything. You never brought it up.”

“I heard you, Cyar’ika. I always listened.”

[electrasev5nwrites]

Ninja Daily: AIC 6

Kakashi-sensei was as still and stiff as he'd been when she'd slipped into sleep after her shift at watch. Only now, his cheeks were pale and he was clammy to the touch. Sakura swallowed hard. She watched sweat well up and join the dampness in his hairline.

His breathing was shallow but steady.

Sakura took his pulse. She confirmed that he didn't have a fever. She decided to ask Tsunami-san to help her pour some water down his throat later. He hadn't had a drink in over twelve hours, so he must need some, right?

'What do I do if he doesn't wake up? He has to eat still, right? And go to the bathroom and- and other stuff. Right?'

She wiped at her face with her sleeve. Contemplating it was terrifying. She wasn't trained in this.

'I don't know what to do.'

It was so stupid. Everything was stupid. If they'd just gone home when they'd found out their client was a dirty liar, none of this would have happened. Why hadn't they listened to the rules?

Naruto pushed open the door and slunk in, worrying at his lip like an idiot.

'He must have used up all his bravado shouting about continuing the mission yesterday.'

Sakura pressed her lips together tightly and didn't look at her teammate.

"When's sensei going to wake up?" Naruto sounded small and lost. Resolutely, she held on to her bad mood, because it was better than admitting that she was scared too. "How would I know?" Sakura glared at Naruto.

He shrugged helplessly. "You know lots of stuff, Sakura-chan." Naruto showed her his palms. His voice softened. "I just hoped. That's all."

Sakura slumped. "Yeah."

She thought back to the fight. She'd examined everything she could remember at least twice before. Kakashi-sensei's fainting didn't make sense.

That could happen if someone was bleeding a lot, but Kakashi-sensei only had scratches. She'd considered heatstroke or shock- but no, the day hadn't been hot enough. Chakra exhaustion could cause a shinobi to get dizzy, or pass out and die if severe enough. But he'd only used a few jutsu. Surely an elite Jounin like Kakashi-sensei had bigger chakra reserves than that.

'But with the fever and pallour, and the fact that he won't wake up…'

Sakura swallowed her fear and the words, 'I'm scared that he was poisoned. I'm scared he's going to die and leave us alone far from home. I'm scared that we committed to this mission and so we have to do it without our sensei.'

Telling Naruto that wouldn't do any good. Her second theory- that he'd sustained serious head damage in the exchanges that were too fast for the genin to see- wouldn't be any more reassuring.

Naruto left the room. Sakura sat by her sensei for a while longer, until her legs fell asleep. Sasuke-kun was still resting after taking the second watch shift; the hardest shift.

The sun rose. Tazuna-san pattered around in the adjoining rooms and noisily prepared for work. Tsunami-san was much quieter in the kitchen, but the smell of tamagoyaki crept into the room. Sakura closed her eyes and heard the popping sound of pickled vegetables being opened. Her mouth watered.

Her stomach twisted painfully, rebelling against her ribs.

She went to the table before she could be called. She didn't want unnecessary noise making it harder for Kakashi-sensei to get the best rest possible. Maybe he just needed to sleep more.

Tsunami-san made a sympathetic noise as soon as she saw Sakura's face. "Is your teacher still not feeling well?"

Sakura nodded miserably.

Breakfast did make her feel somewhat better. Tsunami-san had offered an impressive spread. The civilized part of Sakura squirmed at the reminder that her hostess had been put out to feed so many people. Sakura hadn't even offered to help. She was toying with the idea of offering when Sasuke-kun slouched into the room. She eyed him, sucking on a bit of tamagoyaki. His hair was more ruffled than usual, except for the left side. It was completely flat.

"Good morning, Sasuke-kun!" She pitched her voice up and managed a smile.

He made a kind of acknowledging grunt. Her tummy flipped. Sasuke-kun sat down and stared blearily at his plate. He didn't blink until Tsunami-san encouragingly slid a pickle plate in his direction.

Sakura ate a pickle off her own plate. It was clearly homemade. She felt bad again about failing to offer her assistance in the kitchen.

Naruto joined them last, when Tazuna was on his third helping of fish. Sakura looked up at the right time to see him pause in the doorway with wide eyes.

'Hikari-san thought Naruto looked like he was suffering from malnutrition. Maybe he really hasn't seen a homemade meal like this before.'

She put down her chopsticks and tried not to feel queasy.

"Good morning, Naruto-san." Tsunami-san set down another small bowl filled with vegetables. "I hope you're hungry. I made a lot this morning." She gave a wide smile and turned back to the stove.

Sakura winced.

'She doesn't know we overheard that conversation.'

She eyed Naruto. He stood frozen for a moment , the same stark humiliation on his face that he'd shown last night. But then he forced on a smile, sat, and served himself a plate of food. It included considerably more vegetables than she'd ever seen him eat.

Sakura didn't quite understand that response. So she excused herself and double-checked that her equipment was ready to go. Sure, Kakashi-sensei had defeated all three missing nin, but she was still on a mission. She was on a mission far from home, with a lying client who had risked their lives, and with a sensei who might not wake up. But guarding Tazuna-san had been his last order. They had to do what they could.

Sakura made sure her lucky kunai was in the first position on her holster.

"But someone has to stay with sensei," Naruto pointed out uncomfortably when all three of them moved to follow Tazuna-san out the door. "He's still asleep."

"He's unconscious," Sasuke-kun corrected scathingly.

Naruto waved his hand irritably. "Fine, whatever. We can't leave the old guy alone- either old guy," Naruto amended glancing at Tazuna-san. "He's our mission, and sensei couldn't defend himself from a wet blanket right now."

"Fine," Sasuke-kun bit out. "Have any brilliant ideas, idiot?" The two scowled at each other. Sakura could feel a brawl building.

And she was so, so sick of being stuck between their bickering.

"You two go." Sakura dropped her pack. "You're the ones who wanted to continue the mission anyway. I'll stay with sensei."

'I wish he'd wake up. We won't get home without him.'

Sakura flung the door open and stomped back into the house. She stopped short in the kitchen.

Hikari-san was sitting at the table with Tsunami-san. She looked strange in Tsunami-san's little kitchen: the redheaded lady clearly had an eye for fine things and the means to acquire them. Hikari-san was wearing clear gems high around her throat and a fresh manicure instead of the kanzashi from yesterday.

No wonder Tazuna-san had had given Tsunami-san an odd look when she'd mentioned her friend had been over. She couldn't quite understand the friendship either.

Tsunami-san was a tired and prematurely frail young mother in a well-repaired house dress. In contrast Hikari-san looked collected and sharply pretty, clearly untroubled by maintaining a household or worrying about Kakashi-sensei's ailing upstairs.

Sakura swallowed envy.

'If I hadn't gone to the academy, I could have been like that. My parents have the means.'

Intentionally, Sakura scuffed her foot against the floor. It wasn't nice to sneak up on civilians.

Hikari-san turned her head, and a smile flooded her face.

'She smiles like she learned how from watching Naruto,' Sakura thought, and fought down an unladylike snort. It just didn't fit the rest of the polished image.

"Good morning, Sakura-san!" Hikari-san didn't notice her wince. "Are you staying to protect us today?"

Tsunami-san gave the door Sakura had almost left through a sharp look, but said nothing from behind her tea cup.

'I did need to ask about helping sensei…'

The presence of an extra person made things awkward. She really shouldn't be displaying weakness or risking a slip of private information.

But Naruto had already spilled the news that sensei was here. And what could it hurt? Hikari-san didn't care about what shinobi did.

Her heart jumped nervously. "I'm staying, yes. Tsunami-san, I was hoping you could help me get sensei a drink?" Sakura twisted one foot behind her. "I'm sure he needs to but I don't know how and-" She snapped her teeth together before she could babble anymore. She looked down. Tsunami-san must work very hard. Her floor was glossy and clean.

"Is there a problem?" Hikari-san sounded serious. "Sakura-san. I happen to have some medical training. I'm at your disposal."

'She does not look like a town doctor. Is the town big enough to merit a nurse?'

Sakura honestly did not know. What other kind of medical specialist would a tiny fishing town have? There was probably a midwife. And they'd have experience in treating injuries from nets or cold, probably.

She pushed the mystery aside. "T-thank you very much!" Sakura put her palms on her thighs and bowed. "How lucky. Would you mind taking a look at my sensei?"

She let Hikari-san go up the stairs first, and watched her back for any twitching. The offer of medical assistance was awfully convenient. Her heart was pounding all the way up in her throat but she couldn't pass up the offer. She wasn't likely to get another one.

Hikari-san didn't notice the danger she was in. She sat on her legs at Kakashi-sensei's side and leaned dangerously far into his personal space. Her eyes flicked closed. If Sakura hadn't known better, she would have said the civilian was smelling sensei's neck. That was too silly: she was probably listening to sensei's breathing.

Sakura shivered. She didn't feel entirely comfortable that close. If sensei startled awake because someone was in his personal space…

Hikari-san went through the same checks that Sakura had. Sakura sucked on her cheek and thought that the academy must have actually taught medical checks authentically. Sakura shifted uncomfortably on her heels when Hikari-san peeled up Kakashi-sensei's eyelid and peered at the grey iris below.

'Checking for eye movement?' Sakura guessed.

She straightened attentively when the woman leaned back on her heels and rubbed at her face with the back of her hand.

"He's exhausted." Hikari-san frowned. "As far as I can tell, he's not in mortal peril."

Sakura choked on her own spit.

'What doctor talks like that?'

"I don't know what he did, but I'd say he overextended. He could be unconscious for days. This isn't a coma, however." Hikari-san patted sensei's chest absently. Sakura was too wound-up to even wince. "He'll wake up. Unfortunately, I'm not familiar enough with these symptoms to judge whether or not there will be long-term repercussions."

At the inquisitive look, Sakura mastered herself. "I thought about chakra exhaustion," she admitted, willing to volunteer any information that could help Kakashi-sensei. "But I don't know how he could have used that much chakra without my noticing!"

Hikari-san tugged on the end of her braid. "Aa…" A crease formed between her brows. "So, you mean that he didn't do any flashy ninja things?" She punctuated the question with- was that an attempt to mime shooting lasers from her eyes?

Sakura nodded uncertainly. Was that how civilians thought of jutsu?

"Aren't there passive ninja things?" Hikari-san tilted her head. "Not the earth and ice things. But ninja things that augment the body?" She rubbed her palm across the back of her eyelids, smearing away nonexistent perspiration.

'The weird Sharingan thing that he and Zabuza were talking about?' Sakura's mouth hung open. 'Of course! That makes sense. He covers the eye because it uses a lot of chakra. That explains why I've never seen it before, even in training.'

With that in mind, she re-examined what she remembered about chakra exhaustion. Sensei must be experiencing severe exhaustion, beyond what the textbooks had mentioned as symptoms to be aware of. Her lessons had been intended to alert shinobi to the early signs. Shinobi were meant to recognize those and stop whatever they were doing.

'Did sensei not have that lesson?'

The thought was ridiculous. She discarded it.

No, sensei had known exactly what was happening to him. He'd judged it was an acceptable trade off for the benefit the team had received. So he'd known he was going to crash as soon as adrenaline stopped propping him up. Then why hadn't he told anyone?

Sakura bit her lower lip. He hadn't had time.

"-kura-san?" Hikari-san sounded as though she was repeating herself.

"Hai?"

The woman frowned. "Please go get a pot of tea from Tsunami-chan?"

"Oh! R-right!" Sakura stumbled to her feet and hastened out of the room.

Tsunami-san already had a hot pot waiting. She managed a weak smile up at the woman. Tsunami-san and Hikari-san were really in tune, weren't they? Sakura brought the drink upstairs-

And stopped in the doorway, face hot. Hikari-san had pulled down sensei's mask. Hikari-san's eyes were soft. Her hand was at sensei's jaw, still tangled in his mask.

It felt strangely intimate.

"He doesn't like people seeing his face!" Sakura shrilled. But still she couldn't help but stare. Sensei- sensei was prettier than Sasuke-kun even! He had pink lips and a cute nose and oh my god, was that a beauty mark? Naruto and Sasuke-kun were going to-

"Sakura-san."

The stark disapproval in Hikari-san's voice shocked her to the real world.

The redhead's black eyes were hard. "If you are going to be immature about this, you may be excused."

Sakura recoiled back for reasons she didn't understand.

"This is not the time for you to ogle or score one-up points on your teammates. Do you understand me?"

'Ne, Hikari-san is a lot scarier than I thought.'

She nodded meekly.

And the moment passed. Hikari-san smiled again. Thankfully, it wasn't the toothy Naruto smile this time. "You're strong, right Sakura-san?" She nodded to sensei. "Could you hold him up so I can give him a drink?"

Oh. Right. Sakura eyed Hikari-san. The redhead wasn't a particularly large woman. If Sakura had to guess, the heaviest thing Hikari-san ever lifted was new clothes to try on. "Right." It took some doing, but Sakura wrestled sensei up by his shoulders and propped him up from behind. "Good thing he's not a big fat guy, or this would be really difficult," Sakura grumbled to herself.

Not quietly enough, though. Hikari-san snorted unbecomingly.

Sakura gave her an embarrassed smile and became very preoccupied with the back of Kakashi-sensei's fluffy head. He had terrible bedhead and several leaves tangled behind his ears. Oops. She levered his weight on her shoulder enough that she could pluck out the brambles and forest detritus she found.

Hikari-san was pouring liquid into sensei's mouth in short, controlled intervals. Occasionally, she rubbed at his throat.

Sakura focused her attention back on the tangles in sensei's hair. It was surprisingly soft, considering that it looked like the bottom of a broom. He definitely needed to find a good conditioner, though.

"He needs to be washed next."

Her eyes felt as wide as dinner plates. She- that- no-

Hikari-san made eye contact, mischief pulling the corners of her mouth up. "What, do you want him to marinate in his own filth until he wakes up?"

Sakura nearly let her teacher fall. "You could ask Tsunami-san for help," she suggested desperately.

"Nope." Hikari-san popped the p sound. "She would agree, so no one is going to ask her to do more work. We're not putting her out. Taking care of someone is degrading, hard, and thankless. Tsunami-chan is already housing and feeding four ninja in addition to her family." Her voice was light, but it was enough to make Sakura feel ashamed.

"Right." Sakura swallowed. "You're right. Thank you for helping me, Hikari-san."

"You're welcome." The older woman nodded sharply. "It should be your teammates. They haven't even thought about this, have they? If no one helps him, he'll have bedsores and probably an infection. He has to stay clean and hydrated and fed whatever we can manage. If he was left like this for long, he'd be in terrible shape."

Sakura made a face. She couldn't see Sasuke-kun or Naruto-baka taking care of their ailing sensei.

"I know what you're thinking," Hikari-san said. She was looking at Sakura sideways, eyelashes low. "Don't. If you take it upon yourself to be the caretaker, they'll always expect it from you and never understand what a sacrifice it is. You'll be stuck doing it forever."

She hesitated. Would… would that really be so terrible? After all, Naruto and Sasuke-kun… Her heart sunk. They seemed to work together so well, even though they bickered constantly. Neither of them had so much as looked at her when they had come up with a plan to free sensei from Zabuza. She…

Sakura bit her lip. She felt her shoulders curl in.

'I don't like looking at their backs. Is Hikari-san right? Will that only get worse if I don't push?'

She didn't have the mental energy to squeal or squirm too much about helping Hikari-san give sensei a sponge bath. She did note that Hikari-san's upper lip was curled in distaste the whole time.

'She really doesn't like caretaking either.' Sakura mulled that over. 'So why is she doing it? Just because she has medical training and no one else does?'

That… That didn't seem wrong, exactly. It made sense to use the skills she had to help out.

But what if that was always happening to her? What if this wasn't a one time thing, and Naruto and Sasuke-kun just got stronger and stronger while she stayed behind smoothing over problems with clients or disinfecting wounds that they could learn how to take care of?

Sakura recoiled from the thought. She didn't like the taste it left in her mouth.

'I have a responsibility to sensei as his teammate,' Sakura tested. 'But… Naruto and Sasuke-kun have the same responsibility.'

And they were boys anyway. They could be the ones to bathe sensei. They wouldn't be so-

Sakura blushed bright pink and did not think about anything, especially not the unfortunate glimpse of her teacher's butt she'd gotten when he was flipped over.

Yeah, caretaking work sucked. It was humiliating. Being unconscious didn't mean sensei was immune from bodily functions. She was never, ever going to forget the sound of liquid rushing gently against the floor when his bladder decided it had endured enough.

'I need bleach. For my brain. But also the floor.'

"Well, what'd you expect?" Hikari-san had her nose pinched shut. She was carefully tossing cleaning cloth at the problem as if making a pile of fabric would help.

Sakura didn't have a better idea.

"You know who would be great at this?" Sakura asked, feeling her voice scrape ominously. "Naruto and Sasuke-kun." She pulled the blankets that had replaced his filthy clothes up, all the way to sensei's chin.

Sensei had to poop at some time, after all. That sounded suspiciously like someone else's problem.

Hikari-san shot her an approving smile. "That's the spirit. Smart girl. Don't let them get out of doing their share." She tossed the sponge back into the tub of soapy water and stood to stretch her back. She braced her hands against her hips, and then there was an audible crack. "In fact, if you can, force them to do it all. If you're firm and authoritative enough, they'll do what you want."

Sakura perked up a bit under the genuine quality of the woman's voice.

"Hikari-san?" she tried, tilting her head. "Thank you, again. Are you going to stay the night?" She followed the woman out and watched her wash her hands, then claimed the hot water faucet after.

The redhead hissed a breath in through her teeth and indecision flew over her face. "Not likely. I think I'm going to go look for myself for a while."

Sakura cracked a smile. "Hikari-san, you're weird."

Hikari-san looked tired, but she did smile in response. "The best people always are." When she went to ruffle Sakura's hair, Sakura didn't duck away.

She stood for a moment, imagining she could still feel a warm, approving touch on her scalp. Then she followed Hikari-san out and dumped the pile of dirty clothes in a plastic basket gratefully.

"Tsunami-san, I need to wash some laundry," Sakura asked. "Is there-"

"Aa." Tsunami-san glanced over at the back hall. "My washer is out there, but it's full right now. I'll put that load in after I'm done with Hikari-chan's load."

Hikari-san didn't look like the kind of woman who did a lot of housework. Still, that seemed really strange.

"Does she not know how to do her own laundry?" Sakura asked uncertainly.

Tsunami-san laughed. She didn't answer.

'So is that a no?'

[zoeykallus]

Arcane – Little Flower Part 15 (2) – The Punishment Of Our Sins (2)

Gif by charmingvi

Silco x female!reader

18+

Warnings: Angst/Hurt/Violence/Blood/Injuries/Throat cut/Death/Dirty Talk

What Happened Before

Little Flower (Smut 18+)

Little Flower Part 2 - Safe And Sound (Fluff/ Slightly Suggestive)

Little Flower Part 3 - Cupidos (Smut 18+)

Little Flower part 4 - Before You Killed Me (Violence 18+)

Little Flower Part 5 - Carried By Our Desolation (Smut 18+)

Little Flower Part 6 - The Morning After (Smut 18+)

Little Flower Part 7 - Love And War (Smut 18+)

Little Flower Part 8 - Who We Really Are (Smut 18+)

Little Flower Part 9 - What We Deserve

Little Flower Part 10 - Liar (Hurt)

Little Flower Part 11 - Curiosity Killed The Cat (Smut 18+)

Little Flower Part 12 - Blood Bath (18+ Violence)

Little Flower Part 13 - Aftermath (18+ Smut)

Little Flower Part 14 - Backlash

Little Flower Part 15.1 - The Punishment Of Our Sins

Little Flower Part 15.2 - The Punishment Of Our Sins

Your whole body stiffened, you felt the cold, sharp blade against your skin and your gaze swung back and forth between Silco and Sevika. How were you supposed to get out of this situation?

Sevika growled, "Your goons are all out of action, you are alone. Touch a hair on her head and I'll dismember you into pieces".

You felt Tavo's arm that was holding you, wrap around you even tighter.

"You will let me go or I will kill her".

Silco was still bracing himself against his bonds, but Sevika didn't have time to untie him, she didn't want to risk Tavos doing something stupid while she was distracted.

"There's no way you're leaving this room with her! Let her go!"

Sevika just quickly reached to the side to untie the gag so Silco could at least communicate.

"If you leave this room with her, it doesn't matter where you go, I will find you and I will kill you, very slowly and very painfully. You know I don't make empty threats," Silco spat out.

Tavos looked from one to the other, still calculating his chances, but he was beginning to realize that there were none.

"If I let her go now, she'll go for me," he said pointing at Sevika "As much as I hate to admit it, this is not a fight I can win. So why should I let go of my only leverage?"

Silco gritted his teeth and Sevika said "You have two choices now, a quick painless death or a very slow agonizing one as Silco said. If you let her go now, I'll make it quick, you won't feel a thing".

Tavos had no desire to die, fast or slow, but these were his only options. Sevika would not let him go no matter what he said or did now.

The blade pressed a little harder against your neck and you felt it lightly scratch your skin, a small trickle of blood ran down your neck and you felt a slight burning sensation right where the blade sat.

Silco's eyes widened with rage.

"Take that knife off her neck right now!", he spat, his voice a rough growl.

Tavos took the knife down and pushed you with full force against Sevika, managing to run past her and out of the office.

"After him!" yelled Silco, and Sevika quickly got back up to follow him.

"Little flower," Silco spoke softly "Untie me so I can take a look at your wound."

You raised yourself up with your heart pounding, your knees trembling but you complied with his request. You went to Silco at the chair and loosened all the leather straps. He immediately stood up, grabbed your chin and gently turned your head to the side and back a bit so he could look at the cut.

"Just a small cut" he said with relief in a calm voice "You'll be fine".

He reached into the chest pocket of his dress shirt and pulled out a clean, finely embroidered handkerchief, dabbing the blood from your neck and finally pressing it gently onto the small wound.

Quietly he said, "I'm sorry you got caught in the middle again. It won't happen again, I'll make sure of that."

You sighed softly, took the handkerchief in your hand to press it on the wound.

He looked urgently into your face: "How do you feel".

Uncertainly you shrugged your shoulders: "Shaky, but otherwise okay I think".

You looked nervously at the door.

"Do you think it's safe to walk out of here? I really don't want to stay here any longer"

Silco looked briefly at the door, then back at you.

"Sevika said that she took out all the guards. We should be safe", he picked up the gun you had dropped earlier "Just in case".

He took your hand and you intertwined your fingers with his. A simple but very beautiful gesture, something he didn't do very often.

When you got back, the first thing you did was make sure Jinx was okay. She was happy to see you and very excited, but you were able to calm her down quite quickly.

The bar was a mess, there was a lot of breakage. Silco's gaze roamed over the premises, with a grumpy expression. Finally, he sighed in surrender. He ordered a few of his people to take care of repairs and cleaning up, the bar was a source of income he did not want to do without.

You finally followed him upstairs to the office.

When you finally arrived alone in the office, just the two of you, Silco got some utensils from the bathroom, cleaned the small cut on your neck and put a band-aid over it.

"Was that really necessary?" you asked, smiling.

He nodded, "I feel more comfortable when you are taken care of properly, I don't want the wound to get infected"

"Okay, Daddy," you said jokingly.

The way his good sea green eye blinked at you for a moment told you, though, that this word had triggered something in him.

"What's wrong?" you asked cautiously in a low voice.

He cleared his throat awkwardly and finally said, "Nothing, never mind"

"Does the word Daddy bother you?"

That blink again, he nervously slid up a bit in his chair and tugged at his tie.

A smile tugged at your lips as it dawned on you.

"That turns you on, doesn't it? Is that what you want me to call you? Daddy?"

He swallowed, this was the first time you'd seen him nervous in the context of suggestive innuendo.

"I'm not sure it should," he finally murmured, "But yeah, somehow it does, when it comes out of your mouth, with your voice.... when I imagine you saying it when I'm fingering you or my cock is deep inside you and you can barely think straight and you're moaning it to me..."

He growled softly, feeling his manhood swell in his pants.

You're biting your lower lip. You had never done anything like that before, but you wanted to please him and the thought that you could turn him on like that turned you on too.

But before you could start anything naughty, there was a knock at the office door. Silco cleared his throat, pulled his chair closer to the table and called, "Come in!"

Sevika, pushed a tied up Tavos in front of her into the room, forcing him to his knees.

His face was covered in blood, his nose obviously broken.

Silco gave you a quick sideways glance. Then he said to Sevika: "Very good work, I knew I could count on you".

Sevika nodded with satisfaction and stopped behind Tavos to prevent him from trying to escape.

Sevike pointed at her neck, nodding in your direction.

"Bad?" she asked.

"No," you said with a smile, touched by her concern, "But Silco insisted on treating the wound properly."

"What's so bad about it, hmm?" he asked gently addressing you with a teasing little smirk.

He finally stood up and walked to the other side of the desk, leaning against it with his ankles crossed and folding his arms in front of his chest.

Tavos looked up at him from reddened eyes. His whole face looked quite bruised; Sevika had obviously gone to town. His look was resigned and yet there was also some defiance in it as he looked at you.

"So you really are with him by choice" he said gruffly "I completely misjudged you".

You didn't dignify him with a response or gesture but just gazed at him silently. You didn't want to feel sorry for him, but seeing someone in such a helpless and hopeless situation didn't pass you by without a trace.

Your eyes drifted back to Sevike, "Some of your injuries look nasty, are you okay?"

Sevika smiled.

"I'm fine, Kitten."

Then Silco spoke and all attention turned to him.

"I told you that you wouldn't escape me".

Tavos spat some of his own blood on the carpet in front of Silco's feet.

"How rude" Silco said dryly "That won't help you now".

He pushed himself off the table and stepped closer to the kneeling man.

"What are we going to do with you now? Hmm? There's no way I'm going to let you go, keeping you captive is too inconvenient for me. Maybe I'll actually do what you thought I would have done in your place. I should put you on public display after I kill you."

Tavos snorted, "You actually deign to do it yourself? Then maybe this time you should make sure you do it right."

Silco chuckled.

"Pretty cocky for a man in your position".

"What do I have to lose?" returned Tavos harshly.

Silco nodded slowly.

"You've got a point there," he admitted.

His gaze drifted to you. When your eyes met, he asked, "You might want to go to the bedroom for this moment? This is getting pretty messy."

Uncertainly you returned his gaze, then looked at Tavos and Sevika, the latter nodding at you as if to say it would be better if you withdrew now. You hesitated, because this was Silco, it didn't matter how many times you looked away, it wouldn't change the facts and it would happen again and again, maybe not to this extent, but still.

"I'm staying," you said softly.

Silco raised his brows in surprise.

"Are you sure, Little Flower?"

You nodded slowly.

"Yes, I think so."

Silco hesitated now in his turn, but finally pulled the knife from his belt and deftly twirled it between his fingers, finally grasping the handle and saying to Tavos.

"This time I'll watch you bleed out, just to be sure".

Silco reached into Tavos' hair, jerked his head back, applied the knife.

Your heart was beating wildly and you actually didn't feel up to this scene at all, but you braced yourself, not wanting to show any weakness in front of Sevika and Silco.

The next moment, Silco calmly and agonizingly slowly slit Tavo's throat with the sharp blade, from ear to ear.

Blood gushed out, soaking Tavo's clothes and staining Silco's boots. Tavo's eyes were wide open, he struggled against the restraints on his wrists to reach for his throat, but he could not free himself.

Little by little, his resistance weakened. Silco let go of his hair again, only moments later, Tavos fell over face first onto the blood soaked carpet.

Silco cursed softly, "I should have rolled the carpet aside first.... Damn."

Sevika remarked, " Now you can throw the rug away."

You stood there trying not to stare so closely at Tavo's dead body, you already felt yourself getting a little nauseous as you rather looked at Silco who just turned to you.

"Are you alright? You look a little pale dear"

"I'm fine" you said calmly "I'll be fine".

Sevika stepped closer to the dead man and looked down at him.

"What are we going to do with him now?"

"Put him on display, as mentioned. The Firelights were working for him when they kidnapped Y/N, this will be a memorable message to the little gangsters. Hang him outside the bar, but not too close, we don't want the smell of decay in our premises," Silco instructed her.

Sevika nodded and began to roll Tavos into the already filthy carpet.

Silco stepped toward you, a calm, satisfied expression on his face. sliking some lose strand of his hair back. It was a little scary how easy all this was for him. But you had known that before.

You sat down on the desk with a soft sigh as he sat back down behind his desk. He looked up at you, searchingly.

"What are you thinking about?" he finally wanted to know.

Uncertainly you shrugged your shoulders and answered him, "That for a while I actually thought Tavos was different from you, he was, but just because he was different didn't automatically mean he was one of the good ones."

Silco raised his eyebrows in amusement.

"So I'm one of the bad guys?"

Nervously you kneaded your hands.

"I didn't mean it that way"

"Then how did you mean it?" he asked calmly.

"Well, you're crossing lines, some of them, in a moral sense, that actually makes you a kind of bad guy, no matter what your ultimate goals may be. The ends don't always justify the means by a long shot, at least that's how I see it... you don't, I know that"

You paused, avoiding his penetrating gaze.

"I don't see you as a villain, but I am aware of the things you do. Out of love for you, I accept who you are. Probably that makes me some kind of villain too."

Silco sighed, lit a cigar and said, "There's a monster inside all of us."

Frowning, you looked at him again.

"What do you mean?"

He took a puff of his cigar, blew the smoke into the air, and finally looked at you.

Silco explained in his calm, deep voice, "It doesn't matter how righteous someone thinks they are, there is always at least one thing for which we cross boundaries and become something we thought we never would be. For some it's power, for some it's money, for some it's freedom, for some it's the supposed common good, and for some.... yes, for some it is love"

@puffball-lover554

@sparrow-rise

@mikariell95

@mywckdmind

@zaunsin

@livin-sarahs-dream

@jennrosefx

@tangytastyflatboard

@waddles2020

@jinns-arcane-feverdream

[mxpseudonym]

I Don't Think I Will

Pairing: Luca Changretta x Mob Wife!Reader

Reader Gender Expression: She/her pronouns and wifey

Summary: At a place that he still considers theirs, Luca meets with the woman who is his wife, even if by title only.

Length: 1114 words (allegedly)

Warnings: none

A/N: Let's call this arranged marriage to lovers to frenemies (heavy on the enemy)

--

Luca walked into the dimly lit bar. It was quiet on this Tuesday evening and slightly smoky due to the cigars wafting from a group of men in the corner. The musky tobacco and soft jazz almost took Luca back to better days in his mind, but he had no time to revisit. He was on a mission.

He looked to the bartender, who was diligently cleaning crystal glasses behind the bar. The young man motioned down the bar, and Luca nodded. Just like he'd ordered, the bartender gave him a call when the woman was still there after 10 pm or when she'd surpassed five glasses of brandy, whichever came first.

This time it was both.

She didn't turn to look at him when he approached, but a knowing smirk slid on her face, one that made him wonder if she'd figured out his little system.

"I'll have a scotch," he ordered needlessly as he slid onto the stool beside her. It was the same every time he came. A nice scotch that was his consolation prize, no matter how the evening unfolded. Luca interlaced his hands on the bartop and watched as she stirred her dark drink with a cherry on a stick.

"$500,000. She offered me half a million this time. I'm beginning to feel impressed."

Luca sighed and dug into his jacket pocket for his case of toothpicks. They'd be here for a while longer.

"Ma doesn't know how to negotiate, that's for sure. $500,000 to get you out of the family name? That's too much."

"Too much? Gosh, men are clueless about these things." She finally turned to him, eyes glossy and cheeks warm. "She's trying to buy me out before I get pregnant and infiltrate your bloodline, of course. It's so dire that I should wait it out until she gets to at least $800,000. A million even."

"Eh? Don't do this to my mother." Luca shook his head. The women in his life were vicious.

"It's not my fault." She shrugged. "Anyway, I turned it down."

"Really?"

"Yes. I said, Mrs. Changretta, I love your son very, very much." His wife reenacted, barely finishing before breaking into laughter. Luca huffed and watched as she placed a manicured hand over her red lips to keep it together.

"Don't toy with her. She's not a fool."

"No, that she isn't. But what should I have said? It turns out the only thing stronger than love is spite? Do you think I'd let your son die peacefully and without me?"

"Hateful. That's the kind of woman you are," Luca said as if he'd finally landed on a word after thinking about it for ages. But if he thought that would hurt her, he didn't know her at all. She smiled brightly.

"Only on my good days."

"Insufferable on the bad," He grumbled.

"Been reading the dictionary, I see."

The bartender placed a glass in front of him, and Luca took a drink of his scotch. He could hear pattering against the frosted windows as the subtly sweet notes of vanilla graced his tongue. Luca looked over to his wife, who had now moved on to flirting with the bartender.

He'd be a liar, and a bad one at that, if he'd let himself wonder how they got here. After killing a bank teller during a robbery, Luca was sent to America to make himself useful. Part of that was entering a marriage that would merge the Changrettas with another dangerous, influential family with deep roots in New York, Chicago, and a few places in South America. If the Changretta's were going to stick around, they had to evolve after all. It just so happened that he'd be marrying the woman next to him, who was currently giving another man the smile that still did something to him.

Luca knew few things for sure in this life, but one thing he did know was that he'd never blame her. For anything. The Changrettas all but staged a mutiny against her family to take over both organizations. Her brother, who she loved dearly, was lost in it all, and her father passed just a year after. And now, the Changretta matriarch was hellbent on getting the newest Mrs. Changretta out of the family, out of the business, and wholly out of their lives. He did wonder, though, once she got what she was after, which he suspected wasn't the money, where would she go?

His wife turned to him with a furrowed brow, and the bartender raised a brow before walking away. Ah, he'd asked that out loud.

"Where am I going to go? Chicago," she said with a shrug as if she'd said it a million times.

"Why?"

"Because."

"Come on," he urged, motioning for her to continue. "You know you want to tell me."

"Why the hell would I want to do that?" She asked, her words beginning to slur, but her wits never dimming. Luca leaned closer to her.

"I know you feel something, even a bit. The way you show up in this bar,"

"I come to this bar so that it haunts you and calls your love foolish," she stopped him. "Did you fall in love here once? Will you follow your wife here unconditionally? Fool."

She scoffed and finished her glass. The nostalgia from before hit Luca again like a train. He let it take over.

It was here, in the booth now reserved by cigar-smoking gamblers, that they would meet when they wanted to be alone before the wedding. It was just outside of either family's jurisdiction, and they tipped well enough to get the bartender to love them. It was the place they came the night before their wedding, with youthful hearts that allowed them to express just how lucky they were to marry someone they actually liked. Perhaps like turned to love at some point. He'd never know. The takeover happened only six months into their marital bliss. Still...

"Alright, I think you've had too much to drink. Let's go," Luca's wife scolded him, though it was she who stumbled when she stood. Seven glasses were well beyond her limit. Luca stood and caught her gently by the elbow, then helped her into her coat.

"There we are."

"Oh please, don't be doting now. And let go of me."

"No," he said, surprising even himself. In the dim light of the bar that was surely theirs, she looked up at him in some confusion. Luca looked down at his wife with determination. It gave her a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"No, I don't think I will let you go."

[skyeet-the-writer]

okay i’m not sure if you are taking like open requests but corpse and reader are dating and nobody really knows but like the fans ship it and stuff, and they are playing among us with jack, felix, rae ect,, and someone invites somebody and it’s reader ex boyfriend and corpse notices that she’s acting really quiet and he texts her like “baby are you okay??” and she tells him that’s her toxic ex and during an emergency meeting, her ex suspects her and when she defends herself he says something along the lines of “don’t believe her she’s a fucking liar, she’s been one since the day i first met her” and everyone is like ??? but corpse flips out on him and just snaps telling him to leave his girlfriend alone which breaks his cover so everyone knows about you guys and just like really mad corpse and having to help him calm down and you get up from your seat to see him in his streaming room and just sit on his lap and he’s like “fuck that guy it’s okay baby we can just play minecraft or something” lmaooo 🥺🥺🥺 sorry i know that was so specific but the thought makes me so soft i would actually cry if you wrote this

This Is A Shout Out To My Ex

here’s my first request guys! so sorry they’re taking so long. i’m trying to get these done before i do anything else. hope you guys enjoy! x,

corpse x female!reader

summary: while paying a game with her friends, y/n’s toxic ex joins the game. when he calls her a liar, corpse snaps and defends his girlfriend

word count: ~4.4k

warnings: mentions of emotional abuse, gaslighting, near-death experiences, swearing, some angst but it has a super fluffy end!

Living with your boyfriend is, obviously, amazing in every way. You see each other all the time, you get to cuddle almost all the time, and you get to see his handsome face every morning.

Probably, the only downside is the fact that living together makes it nearly impossible to hide the fact that you’re dating.

But, somehow, you’ve managed to keep it a secret from you rabid fans for the past four months. You literally have no idea how because you’re pretty sure you accidentally got a glimpse of Corpse walking by while you were doing a vlog.

Miraculously, no one noticed it. Then again, none of your fans knew what he looked like, so there’s a plus. There were one or two comments asking who the person in the back was, but you lied and said it was a friend. Technically, you weren’t wrong.

And so you’ve been trying to keep your relationship with Corpse on the DL to avoid any stress or anxiety his way. You could deal with it, you’ve been doing Youtube for years and could handle almost anything. Corpse, bless his heart, might not be able to.

One morning, you’re awoken by some slight tugging on your hair. You crack your eyes open but the bright light makes you whine and close them again. There’s a soft laugh behind you and you roll over onto your back, scooting over closer to him. You stretch your legs and grin, still keeping your eyes closed. 

“Did you sleep at all?” you ask in a quiet voice, your head resting on your lover’s chest.

“No,” he answers in his deep voice and you feel him play with your hair. “Anxiety, insomnia, the usual shit.”

You hum and open your eyes slowly, deciding to brave the light. You blink up at Corpse who is staring at the ceiling. “What were you thinking about?” Your own voice is a bit scratchy and rough. 

He looks down at you and you take notice of how bloodshot his eyes are and the bags under his eyes. “How pretty you are when you sleep.” He grins.

“You watched me when I slept?” you ask and playfully narrow your eyes at him. “You creep.”

He laughs and you turn around onto your side, your back facing him. “Baby, no, I didn’t mean it that way.”

You smile. “You’re so creepy, Corpse.”

He doesn’t say anything but you hear him sit up in bed. You begin to ask what he’s doing but then he lifts up the back of your shirt to press a few kisses to your back. “You’re still here, though. With me.”

“Hm. Yeah.” You turn around and he gazes at you. “Because I love you.”

His eyes light up in the way that they always do when you tell him those three, simple words. You love seeing them light up that way and you grin. “I love you, too.” He leans in for a quick kiss.

“What time is it?” you ask when you pull away.

Corpse reaches over to his side of the bed and turns his phone on. “Noon.”

“Noon?” you shout and sit up so quickly you get a head rush. “We were supposed to be playing Among Us with Sean, Pewds, Toast, Rae, and them.”

“Oh. Yeah.” You turn and see him with his hands covering his face.

You walk over to him and kneel next to him. “Babe? What’s up?”

He just groans and you frown. He doesn’t feel good. 

You push his hair from his forehead. “I can tell them that you’re not feeling up for it. They all know you, they’d understand.”

He shakes his head and runs his hands down his face before they rest on his chest. “No. No, it’s okay, I’ll be fine.” He gives you a smile.

You kiss his cheek. “Okay, then, babe. C’mon, we’re gonna be late.” You grab his hands and tug him up until he’s in a sitting position. He pulls you in for another kiss but you lean away.

“You have morning breath,” you tell him when he gives you his sad eyes. “Brush your teeth and then I’ll kiss you.”

That seems to get him out of bed and into the bathroom while you change clothes. You change out of your sweatpants and t-shirt and into jeans and a shirt. He walks out of the bathroom yawning and you walk past him to go to the bathroom.

I wish he’d sleep, you think to yourself while brushing your teeth. After brushing your teeth, you wash your face and do a little bit of makeup so you don’t look like you just rolled out of bed even though you did.

Corpse walks into the bathroom as you’re finishing your makeup and has a mug of coffee for you. You’re the only one in the house who drinks coffee since he can’t, so you always find it so sweet that he makes it for you.

“You made me coffee?” you ask and he nods. You take it from him and give him a peck. “Thank you, love.” 

You take a sip and grab your phone from your nightstand and shove it into your pocket. You walk out of the bedroom the two of you share and into the kitchen to check on your cat. 

Before you met him, Corpse had never really wanted a pet. He said that they die and he doesn’t want to deal with that, which you understand. But after the two of you had been dating for three months and you had been living with him for a month and a half, you begged him to let you get a cat. You knew he couldn’t say no to you. 

“Where’s Inky?” you call out to your boyfriend after not finding your cat in the living room or the kitchen. 

“In here,” he calls back and you follow his voice. Corpse is sitting in his chair getting ready to stream. You spot a black cat sitting on his table, licking at his hand. Corpse laughs and pets the animal on the head. “Stop licking me, girl. Your tongue feels weird.”

You smile and walk over to him, picking the cat up. “Come on, Inky, let’s leave dad to do his job, yeah?”

The young cat meows up at you and stares into your soul with her green eyes. You lock her gaze and have a staring contest. You lose, however, and blink away. 

“Why is your cat so weird?” you ask, placing the cat back down and watch her run away. 

“Probably gets it from her mom,” Corpse mumbles and you hear a smile. 

You scoff and smack his hand away gently when he reaches out to you. “Fine, you don’t get a kiss before the stream.”

“No, wait!” he shouts and grabs your hand, pulling you towards him. “I was kidding, baby.”

You smile at him and cup his cheek. “I know.” You lean down and give him a long, deep kiss. You feel him smile against your lips and you pull away. He gives you a smile.

“I love you,” he mutters, brushing some hair away from your face. 

“I love you more.” You grab his hand and press a kiss against his knuckles. You take a step back. “I’ll see you in the Discord chat, babe.”

“Okay. Also, don’t close the door all the way!” he calls to you and you look back at him, your hand on the doorknob. 

“Why?” you ask, leaning on the doorframe. 

He takes a second to respond. “Because I want Inky to come in here later.”

You laugh but smile. “Okay, fine.” You walk away from the door and across the hall into your own recording room. 

Your room is a lot different than your boyfriend’s. His room is dark and doesn’t have a lot in it. Yours, on the other hand, probably has too much stuff. Most of it is gifts from fans like stuffed animals and other knickknacks. Your desk, monitors, and lights take up a lot of the already limited space. You turn both your ring lights on after closing the door and turn on the LED lights you have attached to the ceiling. You switch them to the f/c setting and put the remote next to your coffee mug. You sit down in your black and white gaming chair and set everything up after putting on your headset. 

You join the Among Us game after beginning your stream and then the Discord call. You seem to join before Corpse because you can’t see him in the call. 

“You’ve finally decided to join us, y/n!” Felix exclaims and you smile. 

“Am I late?” you ask, taking another drink of your coffee. 

“No,” Sean replies. “I mean, we played a couple of rounds to pass the time, but nothing interesting happened.”

You nod and glance at who all is in the chat. It seems to be you, Felix, Toast, Charlie, Rae, Sean, later Corpse, and someone else who’s tag sounds familiar. 

“Oh! I invited someone new!” says Rae. “He’s a friend from college. y/n, this is Dallas.”

“Hey, y/n.”

Your eyes widen and your blood goes cold at the sound of his voice. You know him. You used to date him. In highschool before you moved away. You remember how toxic he was. He would always blow you off when you wanted to hang out and when you did hang out, he always played video games and never talked to you. 

“Hi, Dallas,” you stutter out. “Uh, hey, didn’t you and I go to highschool together?”

You can practically hear his smirk. “Yeah. We did.”

“I didn’t know you two went to school together,” Rae says happily. 

“Yep,” Dallas says. “We were friends, too.”

You want to throw up.

Suddenly, your loving and not toxic boyfriend joins the call and your spirits lift. 

“Corpse!” you exclaim, almost letting another word slip out. 

“You’re here,” says Rae. “Good noon!”

“Yeah, I’m not a morning person,” he says and you just now notice how deep his voice is. “I just woke up.”

“Oh my god,” Felix says. 

“Jesus,” says Charlie, dragging out the ‘u’.

“You just woke up?” asks Toast. 

He’s a liar, he didn’t sleep at all, you think but keep your mouth shut and laugh. 

“It’s like a forty-hertz voice,” Sean says. 

“It sounds like short wave radio,” Charlie adds. 

You laugh. “You sound like spoken brown note.”

Corpse laughs. “This is me when I wake up, that’s what...” He cuts himself off and laughs again.

“I’m scared,” says Dallas. 

“I didn’t know it could get any lower!” exclaims Sean. 

“I didn’t know you could hit puberty twice.” Felix laughs. 

After some more laughter, Corpse is introduced to Dallas. 

“Hey, man,” Corpse says. “Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, you too,” Dallas replies. 

“Can we start the game now?” Sean asks when everyone is in the waiting room. You take a sip of your coffee while Rae starts the game. 

You mute yourself as your role is revealed and let out a sigh of relief. “Crewmate. Good, this makes this less stressful.” You go into the hallway, following Felix and Sean to go do wires. You clear the two of them and you three go up to admin. “Okay, so for those of you wondering about my reaction to Dallas joining the stream is that he’s my ex. Uh, we dating in highschool and broke up around the end of senior year. So this is pretty awkward for me.” You break away from Sean and Felix to go do a task in the greenhouse. 

You leave out the part about Dallas where he was borderline abusive. You remember him shouting at you for asking for the littlest of things to him gaslighting you and guilt-tripping you into going skinny dipping with him. 

Maybe that’s why you love Corpse so much. He’s the opposite of Dallas. He’s sweet and he’s caring. He’s never once raised his voice at you unless you were beating him in a game. Even then you both knew he wasn’t serious. And he had never once pressured you to do something you didn’t want to do. 

You’re brought out of your thoughts when someone reports Rae’s dead body. You unmute yourself and take another drink of your coffee. 

“I found her in decontamination,” Dallas says. “I opened the door and she was right there.”

“I was down by storage doing wires,” you tell them, putting your mug down. “And I was with Felix and Jack for the beginning and I’m pretty sure they’re cleared. So it has to be either you, Toast, or Corpse. Or Charlie.”

“You almost forgot about me,” he says and you laugh. 

“We never vote on seven, right?” Toast says. 

“Not if no one is sus, no,” Corpse answers. 

“I’m skipping,” says Sean. 

You nod and skip voting. “Same here.”

Everyone skips voting and you continue on. You do the rest of your wiring tasks and go out to the balcony where you notice Corpse standing out there. You smile and walk up to him and make your characters’ “eye” parts touch. “Look, Corpse. We’re touching eyeballs.”

You can just barely make out his laugh from the room across from yours and you grin before doing to do your task. You glance at your chat while you run to the reactor with Corpse. “How have you guys been doing? Hope you’re having a good day. Don’t forget to drink some water and eat something.” You smile at the camera and enter decontamination with Corpse and Toast. 

When you enter reactor, Corpse and Toast each go to do it and you head to the sorting in the lab when suddenly a body is reported. 

You decide to be quiet and drink from your coffee while everyone else discusses what happened. You zone out a little when Dallas talks and your mind flashes back to memories you’ve been trying to forget. 

“Wait, who are we voting?” you ask when you suddenly snap back to reality. 

“Felix,” Sean answers. “He vented right in front of me.”

You nod and vote for Felix and he gets ejected. 

pEWds was ejected 

1 imposter remains

You mute yourself once more and continue to do your tasks and stick with Corpse as much as you can. Your chat notices this and begins to blow up with the ship name they have for the two of you. You laugh at the chat as you scan yourself. “Why are you guys freaking out about Corpse and me? We’re literally just walking.”

Another body is reported and this time it’s Toast’s. You know who the imposter is. You unmute yourself and quickly say, “It’s fucking Dallas, it’s a self-report.”

“What?” Dallas exclaims and you immediately sense the hint of anger in his tone. He used to get so mad during video games and it seems like nothing has changed in the past few years. “How’s it me? It could be Charlie.”

“Charlie is dead, too,” Sean says. 

“Yep. And I know both Corpse and Sean are cleared because I was with Sean for a long time and I just watched Corpse get scanned.”

Dallas scoffs. “Well, shit, you got me there.”

After Dallas is ejected, the crewmates win and you all start another round. You suddenly don’t feel like talking too much anymore and do your stream in mostly silence. Just Dallas being there and in the same call as you is making you anxious and bringing up memories you don’t want to remember. 

Your chat asks you about this and you ignore it as you continue to do your tasks as a crewmate. Your phone buzzes in your pocket and you pull it out, looking at who it is. 

corpse 🖤

are you okay? you’re being really quiet

y/n

yeah, ig. just that dallas is my ex. toxic ex too

corpse 🖤

want me to kill him for you? im imposter

You smile and shake your head. “Oh, Corpse,” you whisper to yourself. 

y/n

no dont kill him lol

You put your phone back down on the table and look back at the game. 

You don’t pay too much attention to the game until the fourth round after you and Rae lost as the imposters. You’re a crewmate once again and you’re peacefully doing your tasks when suddenly something lays on your bare feet. 

“What the?” You look down at your feet and see a little dark fuzzball on your feet. “Inky, get off my feet, baby.” You move your feet and pick her up. You hold her in your arms like a baby the way she likes and rub her belly. “Okay, go see your dad.” Inky jumps out of your arms and you watch her leave your recording room. 

You turn back to your task and continue to do them without any interruptions. You notice, however, that Dallas has been following you for most of the round. You’re starting to get a little nervous and you run into the cafeteria to get away from him when he calls an emergency meeting.

You unmute yourself and Dallas says, “I think it’s y/n. I’m pretty sure she’s faking tasks.”

“Except I’m not,” you tell him. “You’re the one following me around, too, Dallas. What’s up with that, huh?”

“I’ve been following you because you’re acting sus.”

You glare at Dallas’s character on the screen, heat rushing to your face. “I’m literally doing my tasks, I know you saw me do the card swipe--”

“Don’t listen to her,” Dallas says and he sounds far too confident. “She’s a fucking liar. She has been since the first day I met her.”

By now your face is completely red from anger and you gasp. “Excuse me?”

“What are you talking about?” Sean asks. “I’ve known y/n for a long time, she’s never told a lie so long as I’ve known her.”

“That’s because she’s too good at it,” Dallas says in a snarky tone and you’ve never wanted to punch a screen more in your life. “Her and me used to date in highschool but I broke up with her because she lied to me about everything.”

“That’s not fucking true!” you shout and you can hear blood rushing to your ears. “I was the one who broke up with you after you gaslighted me about not hanging out with you enough when in reality you were always hanging out with your stupid football friends!”

“She’s lying--”

“The fuck are you saying about my girl?” Corpse demands. 

The chat goes silent for a moment. Corpse just called you his girl. You look at your live chat and it’s exploding with “i knew it”s and lots of keyboard smashing.

“Your girl?” Dallas asks after a moment.

“Yes. My girl. As in my girlfriend.” He sounds so possessive and it’s kind of hot to you. “Why are you calling her a liar?”

Dallas stumbles on his words. “B--because she is one.”

“Right. And how long have you known her?”

“I knew her in highschool--“

“Nevermind, I literally don’t care,” Corpse interrupts him. “I’ve been living with her for the past five months and she’s never lied to me about anything.”

Dallas is quiet for once. Everyone is. No one is really even breathing but your heartbeat is rattling your brain and blood is rushing through your ears.

“I don’t wanna play anymore,” you whisper. You swallow thickly and glance at your chat. Luckily, they’re all defending you and yelling at Dallas. You turn back to the screen. “Dallas, I’m not the imposter. And stop making stupid ass accusations.”

“I--“

“Kick him,” says Felix and you can tell he sounds mad.

“No wait--“ Dallas begins to say.

“No!” Rae interrupts. “I knew there was something off about you.”

“You don’t get to come in here and talk shit about our friend,” Jack says.

“I was kidding,” Dallas tries to explain.

But then something inside you snaps. You forgot how much you hate Dallas. How he always turned the blame on you when he did something wrong. How you almost lost all of your friends because he convinced them that you were a bad person.

At first, you thought he had changed. You thought that he had actually grown up. Turns out that people don’t change.

“Like you were kidding when you almost got me kicked out of the house because you made me go out with you to go drinking?” you ask. “Or how you played a stupid trick on me when I was driving us to school and I almost fucking crashed the car and nearly killed us?”

“Jesus.” You can hear him roll his eyes. “You’re still on about that? It was April Fool’s, you should have expected it—“

“I shouldn’t have expected shit!” you yell and it comes out raw. The memory flashes in your mind and you cringe. “That wasn’t funny, Dallas! You weren’t funny! I fucking hated my life in high school. I was already stressed out because I thought I wasn’t smart enough and you being my boyfriend and ignoring me and manipulating me didn’t help.

“So fuck you. Fuck you for everything you did to me when we were teenagers. Fuck you for making me think that you changed and were actually nice and then ripping that away from me. But you know what? Thanks. Thanks for being my ex because you made me what I am today and you’re the reason I moved to California and met the love of my life.”

You suck a deep breath in and wipe at the tears that had fallen. You put your hand on your camera. “Speaking of which, I need a hug from him. Bye, guys.”

You stop streaming and disconnect from everything. You turn your computer off, unplug your headset, and turn your lights off. You sit in your chair trying not to cry in the dark.

Corpse, your mind says and you open your eyes. You really want a hug. His hugs are the best. You take your headset off and walk out of your recording room. Before you walk into Corpse’s recording room, you head to the living room and grab a fluffy gray blanket and wrap it around yourself.

You don’t even bother to knock on the door and just walk in. His room is still dark and it appears like he’s angry. You can tell by the way his voice is deeper and how he looks like he’s shaking.

But when you tap on his shoulder, he looks up at you with wide eyes. “Babe.”

You sniffle and he pushes away from his desk. You shake your head and pull his arms up above his head and settle yourself on his lap, your legs on either side of him, and wrap your arms around his neck.

“Baby,” he whispers and you lean your cheek on his shoulder. “Just fuck off, Dallas.”

Your eyes squeeze shut and you shift up a little, pushing your nose into his neck. He smells nice. “Stop talking to them.”

“What?” he looks down at you and asks what you’re doing when you take his headset off. You unplug them, thereby disconnecting him from the stream. “y/n, what are you doing?”

“I want to cuddle with you,” you mutter and bury your face into his neck.

You feel him wrap his arms around your back and he pulls you up, leaning his head on your shoulder. “Okay, baby. We can cuddle.”

The two of you sit like that for what feels like a long time. You hear Corpse’s phone buzz, but the two of you ignore it. He kisses the side of your head and you smile.

You sigh deeply as he tightens his hold against you. “Fuck that guy, baby. It’s okay.” He moves his shoulder and you look up at him. “Wanna go play Minecraft?”

A grin spreads across your face and you nod. Corpse smiles back and picks you up, bridal style, blanket and all. You squeal and laugh as he carries you to the living room. “Put me down, Corpse!”

“Alright.” He drops you into the couch and turns around to turn the Xbox on.

You huff and push your hair out of your face, keeping the blanket wrapped tight around your body. “I didn’t mean literally drop me, dummy.”

He shrugs and sits next to you, handing you a controller. “Should’ve been more specific, baby.”

You scoff but can’t hide the small smile creeping onto your lips. “Jerk.” You put the controller next to you on the couch and move the blanket so it’s over both of your laps and you lean into his side.

After playing Minecraft for the majority of the afternoon and evening, you finally drag Corpse to bed with you after ordering pizza for dinner.

His arms are wrapped tight around your waist as your back is pressed against his chest. Inky hops up onto the bed and nuzzles your hand until you begin to pet her. She lays down on her belly and you gently pat her.

“Am I really the love of your life?” Corpse asks after a long time of sitting in the quiet darkness

You nod against the pillow. “Yeah. You are.”

You can’t see him, but you know he’s smiling when he kisses the back of your neck.

Your phone on your nightstand lights up and you head Corpse’s phone buzz again as well. You think for just a moment about all of the texts, all of the messages, all of the DMs you’re getting about what happened. For a second, you panic. What if people don’t think that you’re worth to be dating Corpse? What if people are calling you a pussy for how you reacted to Dallas? What if everyone hates you?

But those thoughts immediately go away when Corpse mumbles something in that husky voice of his that makes the butterflies in your tummy come back. “You’re the love of my life, too.”

“Yeah?” you hum, your eyes slipping shut.

“Yeah,” he says and you can tell that he’s getting tired as well. “And I’m gonna marry you someday.”

An involuntary smile spreads across your face and your entire body overheats. You bite your lip in the darkness and whisper,

“And I’m gonna say yes.”

But he’s asleep. His breathing has evened out. He shouldn’t have heard you.

You know he heard you somehow, though, because his arms tighten around your waist. You wiggle backward so that you’re flush against his chest and his head drops down onto the top of your head.

You place your hands over his and close your eyes. Finally, he’s sleeping.

--------------------

If you want to be added or removed from the tag list, just ask or message me. If you see any problems or anything like that, let me know. 

@honeysuger @chubby-dumpling @polahorvat @annshit @simonsbluee @dad-ee-drea @save-the-sky @wibblytimey @thegirlwholikestomanythings @yagorlnessa @mrswang17 @alilshit @majolittlemixgurl18 @the-bunny-anon @hufflepuff-always-and-forever @loraleiix @artist-bby @ellomellows @pillowjj @matthew-gray-g @myherotrashbin @sunnsetteeee @lxdybyrd @cultofandom @anngelllla @tododokizuku @pachowpachowbucket @gaysludge @bethpiercwhy @marvelkatwoman @c0rpsew1fe @your-cherry-bomb @bi-andready-tocry @redosmo @gracehaileym @helena-way07 @nekomacam @c00ln3rdz @fadingprunebagelfestival @fifiyau105 @easygoingtheatre @satanwithagenda @gracehaileym @oumachii @mythicalreader @this-isnt-living-anymore @punkrainbows @kitsunedarian @crapimahuman @honestlyimstilllivinginthe90s @realnicoleworld @scarswideworld @bluewneptune @weeblyheaux @beebo-at-the-church @melmachh @emmapotato88 @abbiesthings @peterparkerspjsuit @mitchiesdungeon @theeerealpunkin @kaitlynw011 @bookoffracturedghosts @beebeomgyu @tooturntashbash @hughugh20 @spideys-gurl @petit-chasseur-detoiles @reddeserths @heartbroken-writer @chimchimsugakookies @danny-devitowo @susceptible-but-siriusexual @moonnei @crystalbaby12 @cherry-pieee @girl-obsessed-with-things @sokkas-paintings @yobroitsjayden @softegirlvibes @boba-king-iroh @chouxfleur @bbecc-a @tayloryorkscurls @getdevils @nightly-daydreamer @beegobuzzbuzz @dxffxdils @mae-musicbitch @fangirlmisanthrope @bipolarbisexualdisaster @taliyahvermillion @unded-bride @kguerrero-23 @cold-deep-water @demoiselle-en-detresse00 @motheroffae @jokenotfunny @yongboxerrr @theolwebshooter @hawkssnugget @yoyoanaria @babyhoneystvles @rjwinterfell @simp-for-corpse @benjaminka @sailor-earth-1 

[hobidreams]

january 1870.

what can you do? what power do you have?

pairing: joseon king!yoongi x reader genre: angst, drama words: 1.3k warning: this drabble contains a form of disordered eating.

moonlit throne index. this is drabble 28. start from the beginning?

“…uinyeo-nim…! …ease wake up…!”

“Can…hear us?”

The world comes back to you somehow piece by piece and all at once.

Words, hurried ones, pierce the haze of darkness that is thick in your mind, tugging you insistently to the surface. You think there are hands on you, taking your temperature from your forehead, checking your pulse, placing a pillow beneath your head. Part of you would like to keep your eyes shut for a little while longer, wanting to rest, but you cannot bear the worry in the familiar voices that call your name over and over and over. Wake up, you think, wake up.

Open your eyes.

In the dim light, the first thing you see is Scholar Park. His face has gone utterly pale, sweat beading down his brow as he frets, biting at a fingernail. But when he realizes you’ve surfaced, his eyes blow wide. He breathes an enormous sigh of relief that turns quickly into a half-delirious smile. “You’re awake!”

“S-Scholar Park…” You try to sit up and it’s a mistake. You feel aches all over; your limbs are slow as if they’re pinned down, made impossibly weighty with fatigue.

A warm hand lands on your shoulder, and you turn to see one of the younger uinyeo, Min-ji, by your side. “Please, stay on the bed, su-uinyeo-nim.”

You nod, settling back as you slowly blink, blink, blink. You don’t remember how you got here. You don’t remember what has happened to make you feel like this, like you’re hollowed out, weak. “But Min-ji, what—”

The door to your room bursts open. Wood scrapes harsh against wood, slamming into its frame.

Your incredulous eyes fall upon the king: the only man who could make such an entrance and demand every ounce of your attention.

“Jeonha!”

Immediately the other two in the room drop into deep bows.

“What the hell is going on here?” He stalks into the room, Eunuch Kim not far behind with concern etched on his features. “What happened?”

Scholar Park is slightly shriveling under the fury of the king’s glare but he manages to say, “we were walking to the library when uinyeo-nim suddenly collapsed. I immediately brought her here with the eunuchs, and called for another uinyeo to treat her. She awoke just a few minutes ago.”

“What?” He whips his head to the side. “You. Why did she collapse?”

Min-ji’s voice is so small as she replies, “I… believe it is fatigue b-brought on by m-malnutrition, jeonha.”

Then Min-ji is shrinking back too, for the king’s scowl grows infinitely at her words. He gives their meaning but a moment to settle in before he bristles. Bares his teeth.

“Let us be alone.”

“Jeonha…” Eunuch Kim starts. You can’t tell if he’s more worried for his charge or for you by the way he casts worried looks between you both.

“Alone.”

It is only after the door shuts behind the others that the king turns on you.

He walks to your bedside until he is close, but he doesn’t touch.

You stare at each other, your labored breaths the only sound in the space until he asks with a low tone, “you have not been eating?” Though he might sound angry, thoroughly annoyed in fact, you think there might be confusion there too. You are silent, so he continues. “Yet, when I ask, the cooks inform me that they have delivered your meals to you as I have instructed. So.” The syllable dips low, dangerous. “Who exactly is the liar here? Who shall get the punishment?”

You… did not realize he kept such a careful eye on you. How much should you reveal? What excuse could you come up with that could spare everyone?

“Not going to answer me? Then I shall have to call someone else. Jin-young. What would she tell me, hm?”

Pressing your lips together, you recognize his subtle look of triumph as you both know you could not drag the beloved cook into this. Your only option left is the truth.

“She… would say that I have... been asking for my meals to be uncooked. That I— I told her I wanted the ingredients to attempt to better my skills in the craft. But instead…” you scrunch the fabric of your skirt tight within your fingers. You take a deep breath, and then confess, “I have been distributing most of the grain, vegetables, and meats to those in town who are in need of it more than I.”

His scowl is so, so deep. “You... have been starving yourself instead?”

“I-I am eating as much as necessary, jeonha.” You don’t tell him that means two small bowls of rice porridge a day.

“Yet you collapsed.”

“I merely overworked myself today, that is all.”

“No. No, I do not accept that excuse. You collapsed. You fell unconscious, due to malnutrition.”

“But jeonha, the famine.” You push yourself onto your elbows. You need him to take you seriously, even as you wince from the action. “The people. The people have so much less than I. Often less than a single grain of rice to pass an entire day and much less any real sustenance to keep them alive. They— they are the truly malnourished here!”

“That is absolutely none of your concern.” Though he never raises his volume to a shout, his tone is no less intense, no less furious as he carefully articulates every word. Biting every damn truth at you. “You are not part of the royal family. You are not responsible for the people like this.”

Rare anger trickles into your veins as you fist your hands. You’ve backed down to him one too many times and this will not be one of them. “I need to do something! Am I meant to just watch them die, jeonha? To pretend that my life is perfect and lavish while I watch them suffer and struggle for want of nothing more than a hot meal?”

“Then would you rather die in exchange?!”

Your breath catches in shock. Your fury tampers down, simmering but not extinguished when faced with his overwhelming intensity, snapped at you as he wraps a firm hand around your arm.

Like a predator, he brings his face mere inches from yours. “I won’t hear of this anymore. You are not to do such things. Do not overstep your position.”

He squeezes you once before he pulls away and proceeds to leave completely, abandoning you to the absolute silence of your room.

You wait three pensive seconds before the door shuts before you let yourself collapse back onto the bed. What little strength you regained feels completely drained from you again. You didn’t mean for him to find out. You had no idea how he’d react but you never thought, never ever thought, that he would actually threaten your life like this. That harsh question repeats in your mind, the implications behind it more exhausting than any fatigue could ever be.

Silly you, to think there’d been a change in all these months. That things between you were progressing and getting back to a point where you could be comfortable with each other again. In the end, you were just deluding yourself. Letting yourself get caught up in the play-pretend that you could be the one to stand by the king’s side instead of the whore at his feet. (“What power do you have?” he asked you all those months ago, his voice abrupt, too coarse as he claimed you. You have none, as he has proved to you yet again. Not even enough to save yourself.)

[tokoyamisstuff]

Scandal Ch. 3 - Loki x Reader

Summary: You find shelter in the freezing lands of Jotunheim, and surprisingly some new allies. But Loki is already coming after you...

Warnings: Angst

Words: ~1500

A/N: Sorry, this one is a little short.

I Story Masterlist I General Masterlist I

Taglist:  @hi-there-x @haloangel391 @misssilencewritewell @babayaga67 @accioremuslupinn @mochimommy2002 @just-someone-who-likes-to-write @damalseer @bethanystan @loser-alert @star017 @nina1800​ @queenariesofnarnia @n1fangirlsblog​

Only the anchestors keeping watch over you would know just how long you had been resting until your body was eventually able to move again.

As you looked around, you found several pairs of glowing red eyes observing every one of your moves, clashing with the otherwise darkness around you.

You bolted in an upright position, chest waving heavily as your breath was forming a cold mist. Much to your surprise, you were covered in warm furs.

“Worry not” one of them spoke, their body almost inseparable from the icy cave you apparently resided in. “We are a warrior tribe, not warmongers. What do we gain from killing a weak Asgardian noblewoman and their child?”

“Where is he?!” you choked on your own sob, only able to calm down when yet another giant handed the small bundle into your arms. 

They seemed to have cared for him while you were unable to, having fed and cleaned the small boy who was still impossible to distinguish from those powerful giants.

“What is his name?” A female of them seeked to know.

You stopped in your tracks at her question. Everything happened so fast, there was no time to think about it until now.

“His...his name is...L-Liam*. Liam Lokison.” The unintended alliteration made you smile. Yes, this was a formidable name for such a little fighter.

“Loki, you say?” A row, deep voice drang to your ears, huffing at hearing the name of your husband.

It is him again - Laufey.

Initially, you wanted to express your gratitude for his benevolent hospitality, but concluded it would be better to not interrupt.

“Loki, you say?” he repeated the name, tone laced with venom pumping through his heart. “That pathetic excuse of a Jotunn?”

What in hel did he just say?!

“No wonder that crossbreed of yours is so pathetically tiny.” Laufey would now eye his grandson with great fascination, even though adverse. “A disgrace, just like his father.”

“Wha- what in the realms are you...talking about?”

You took in a sharp breath,pulling the child deeper into your arms and away from his wary eyes.

The king could only laugh at your attempts, finding this farce absolutely amusing.

“Hilarious”, he scoffed, “I take from your reaction that Odin is still the old, pathological liar.”

The Allfather had expected you to die in this environment before you’d ever find out the truth, and even if not - Odin thought Laufey to be wildly ashamed of his son, and he would never admit that this freak was his child.

And that was where he was wrong.

“He still didn’t tell any of you?” The Jötunn thought back to that day of indescribable loss. First and foremost the war with Asgard and them taking away his power, together with the Cascet of Ancient Winters - and then...

“The man you call the God of Mischief was born on Jotunheim, as Laufeyson” he declared, and the following words made your heart clench dreadfully. “For whyever I deserved such misfortune, my firstborn came into this world as a failure.”

“Our world is harsh and unforgiving” Laufey continued and apparently, none of the folk seemed surprised. “It is an act of mercy to erase the weakest of our kind, since they wouldn’t survive either way.”

“Lies” you hissed - but the proof was right there, in your arms. “You are lying!”

However, deep inside, you already knew that his words were true.

Why?

Not minding the surrounding giants, you began crying from all the weight on your heart - mourning over the fate of your lover.

From his very first day, Loki Laufeyson was doomed. His only birthright was failure, exclusion and resentment, with death’s grip constantly at his throat.

“Then-” Connecting the dots, fear overcame your system. “Why did you help me?”

“Too much blood of Asgardians and Jotunns had been shed.”

Now that you thought of it, they had saved you - cared for Liam, even. Neither had they left you to die, nor tried to harm you or the child in any way.

Odin was really the greatest liar in all of history - for there were no monsters in Jotunnheim. Only a different race of people.

“I have stained my own hands in countless battles against your kind. But we are in dire need of peace, Y/N of Asgard. And your child could be the key.”

Anger began boiling inside of you, thoughts still revolving around how Loki had been lied to for all those years - and for what? Diplomacy? Using him like a tool, to control the Jötunn?

“Loki is Asgardian just as much as you are.” Somehow, the king almost sounded pained at the revelation. “He is unaware of his heritage, taught to despise us from childhood on. There is no way he would connect our two cultures with how much hatred he bears in his heart.”

At first, you felt close to passing out once again - the emotional exhaustion being way worse than what your body could take.

Those past two days were just too much for you: Liam’s birth, his genes, being cast out by your own people - and now, knowing that Loki had been lied to and used, even might be in danger at the hands of his own father?!

“So, you want me to...raise him here?” The thought alone made your insides churn, thinking back to your homeland. “I think I have to decline that generous offer.”

“No, not like that.” Laufey slowly approached both of you, wary to not touch your skin in any way. He signalized the want to touch his grandson, and you allowed it.

Of course, in a primal tribe like that, showing weakness was unforgiveable - especially if you were the king.

Yet you couldn’t really describe why, but somehow you knew that Laufey wasn’t as heartless as it appeared to be. Maybe, back then, he really thought his decision to be best - but now?

Everything you could decipher in his orbs as he touched Loki’s child was remorse, yearning and guilt. The loss of his firstborn was still present in his heart, aware that even though alive, they had grown apart from each other beyond repair.

“You need sunlight and warmth to survive.” Homesickness could also kill you, you knew that much. “We only ask of you for visits during his upbringing, so he can learn our ways and traditions. See both sides of the coin.”

A bridge between worlds, huh?

On the one hand, it was a huge responsibility you would burden on your child - yet you knew that at least learning about his heritage was his birthright.

Never you would allow yourself to dwell on comfortable lies like Odin, just because you didn’t want to be condemned for the past!

You would save Loki, as well as ensure this wonderful child’s future!

“Laufey, my king and inlaw, so it shall be. This child is now part of your tribe, as much as it is Asgardian.”

_____

[Several weeks later]

“To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Laufey looked down on the Asgardian prince, standing in front of the gates of the Jotunn village.

“I demand on seeing my wife, you dull creatures!” Loki materialized a dagger, threatening to throw it right into the Jötunn’s eye. “Whatever you’ve done to her, I will repay a thousand times!”

Unimpressed, Laufey spoke “I see Odin has taught you his manners. Violent, hotheaded and selfish. No wonder she did not stay with you.”

“I ask you this one last time: Where. Is. Y/N?!”

Without any second thought, the God of Mischief had left in secret, facing the giants all alone without help of his brother or soldiers.

Because your husband was devastated beyond relief.

Without you at his side, the half-god had completely lost his way. All this time since he thought you dead, nothing could save Loki from his own mind.

For weeks, he wouldn’t leave his chambers, sitting in the dark for hour after hour without nourishing his body in the slightest.

He was haunted by how your belongings reminded him of those blissful days of your marriage. Your scent was still present on those now empty bedsheets, fogging his mind and keeping him from much-needed sleep.

The only matter he busied himself with aside from screaming and crying until his throat went sore, were the thoughts of what could be:

Knowing himself responsible for your imminent demise was eating him alive - even if that child wasn’t his, if only he didn’t rush things and would’ve let some time pass, to become clear-headed again as he was now.

Would Loki be able to forgive you and live on, overcome this hardships like so many before?

Most certainly! Because he needed you at his side, more than anything else.

Loki Odinson couldn’t live without the light of his life.

And if there was even the slightest chance of you still being alive, he would claim what was his and start anew.

“Loki, your eyes are wide open, and yet you don’t seem to see the full picture.”

When Laufey refused to descend to the entrance, Loki would immediately teleport himself towards the giant, blade aiming at his throat. “You will answer to your crimes, monster!”

The king was able to repel the attack by grabbing the god’s wrist - yet instead of the incoming pain Loki was expecting, merely his clothing froze into crumbles...

...and his limb turned in a shade of dark blue.

“You’ve grown strong, my son.”

_______

*Liam is a irish name, meaning “strong-willed warrior” or “protector”.