#that was it. she was absolutely disgraced in name and title.

[chronal-anomaly]

Today's brainrot is the time after the fall, where Lena continued to be a very loud ex-member of Overwatch. How she spent months on the cleanup efforts, digging through the rubble only to be arrested and taken into "protective detention" by the UN. Months of interrogation, of them combing through every second of her life looking for some kind of hunt that Overwatch was a part of this. Being blamed for Blackwatch agents disappearing, blamed for the explosion. She'd be one of the few that stayed, blamed for it all, because they couldn't get everyone else. Yeah. Yeah.

[austenhowe]

HEAR ME OUT cressida hc and creloise persuasion brainrot

•cressida secretly plays violin (she's quite good at it; she learned during summers with a distant aunt; period-typical belief of violin played by women = lesbianism (something something about a violin resembling a woman's body and voice); she stopped playing a year or so before her debut when her distant aunt passes away (was caught by her parents playing the instrument once at their own home and the pressure to marry her off immediately increases due to this "queer" talent/inclination)

•angst, mutual pining, misunderstanding, resentment, and some unhinged bridgerton family shenanigans for levity

maybe slightly canon divergent or fully canon divergent idk and idc (I have never and will never read the books) where she pretends to be lady whistledown and whistledown outs her as an imposter and is somehow implied as a lesbian (implied that her relationship with eloise was purely for predatory reasons)

penelope is pissed about her claiming her mantle and also understandably does not have a very high opinion of cressida so a misunderstanding is perpetuated when eloise goes to penelope crying about their "friendship" break-up; maybe cressida tries to make a move and eloise, trying to make sense of what happened, somehow leads penelope to believe that cressida had nothing but predatory intentions (unfortunately, period-typical homophobia is up in here for the plot eugh)

cressida is ruined and forced out of polite society and somehow ends up being commissioned by the queen (queen charlotte is an ALLY, okay?) as a royal violinist ? (I'm making shit up, it's for plot and hc reasons, stay with me here)

ANYWAY, years pass and she makes a name for herself, gets her freedom and her bag (I imagine she branches out of the fashion of polite society and starts experimenting with her presentation 'cause fuck everybody else) and maybe gets an official title from the queen (idk how those work but let's suspend our disbelief here)

so she makes her return to polite society after having been given a formal rank/title and cue her reunion with the bridgertons; she, of course, keeps a wide berth from eloise (due to her self-loathing and her fear of being perceived as monstrous and predatory once again)

the whole bridgerton clan is in town for the season to show a united front and show support to one of the younger ones (either gregory's or hyacinth's turn I don't care which), they attend a concerto where the featured performer is one cressida cowper (this of course attracts a HUGE crowd eager to witness her return from having fallen into disgrace just over half a decade past)

the performance is of course stunning and one of the bridgertons approach (possibly, benedict or francesca) to give their compliments and get a re-introduction (for eloise's sake ofc, she's been angsting and pining for as long as cressida has) and also of course to give an invitation to their house for tea

cue eloise pining from afar while cressida resolutely avoids her gaze (she'll fold so fast if she sees the look eloise gives her; she doesn't blame her for her misfortune (eloise blames herself for that of course)

cressida still loves her but she's been burned once and maybe she IS slightly resentful (she won't entertain even the thought of once again imposing her suit on eloise)

eloise on the other hand is resigned to her solitude (she fumbled her love match and she thinks that cressida's regard cannot be regained after having been violently exiled from society as a result of her blindness and carelessness with her words/actions)

the entire bridgerton family, on the other hand, will be doing their absolute best at scheming to get these two pining idiots together (just imagine pure comedy and catharsis from all the angsting and pining! they deserve absolute happiness goddamnit!!)

they tentatively rekindle their friendship and work towards something more and of course at the end they get their happily ever after (they become wives, have an estate, and they THOROUGHLY and UNHINGEDLY make up for lost time)

--essentially, this is persuasion (1995) where cressida is a bit like captain wentworth and eloise will be a bit like anne elliot, still privileged but a bit more subdued and a bit more practical in her spinsterhood

some banger lines from persuasion (1995): "Miss Elliot, I can bear this no longer. You pierce my soul. I'm half agony, half hope. Unjust I may have been. Weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it eight years ago." // "I believe you capable of everything great and good. So long as, if I may, so long as the woman you love lives - and lives for you. All the privilege I claim for my own sex - and it is not very enviable one, you need not covet it - is that of loving longest when all hope is gone."

actually, throw in the whole letter captain wentworth wrote in here

they keep using jane austen's works as references these past two seasons so might as well give creloise persuasion (my beloved)

not a writer so I'm never gonna write this, it's just stuck in my brain so I had to get it out 😭, blame the show for getting me to listen to violin and piano covers for the past week; my imagination while listening to these covers ran away from me

p.s. in my head, it's the violin and piano cover of interstellar that gets the queen to basically bankroll cressida's violin career (images of the heaven and the earth along with all other space imagery that theme evokes and whatnot); also, piano and violin covers of lovely by billie eilish, such great heights by the postal service, and arcade by duncan laurence (my beloveds)

p.p.s. I know they won't be endgame but unfortunately my mind has latched on to this ship so please take this brain worm off my hands

[wilsons-journey]

July Tinapple

Engineer • Iron Legion • She / Her • 18 years old.

Future Commander in an alternative AU in which my other Charr don't exist. An AU that is closer to the original Story, yet with a small twist: She is the daughter of Tybalt Leftpaw.

She is also my go to replay the whole Story of GW2 again. Its ages since I last did it.

So you might see her grow in her role as Commander.

More about her under the cut: (Beware of long text / brabble)

July is a temperamental Charr with a short fuse. She lives in the shadow of her sire - getting reminded of his disgrace all her life. That's why she got the name Tinapple in her warband - just to mock her. But also as a reminder of where their roots lie. For July its a fuel to prove everyone she is better than her Sire. That she will never be a disgrace and serve the legion well. She works hard - extremely hard.

Even more when her Warband nearly got wiped during the Ascalonian Ghost attack. Only Maverick remained - her best friend, but also mate for a short time. Their relationship won't last long - it just didn't work out - a recurring theme in her life. But they stay best friends - even later on. Maverick is a person she loves to return to, when she want's to forget the weight of the world. He will never be a friend to talk to about heavy topics, but at least someone who knows how to distract her.

"Looks like failure runs in the family" - a sentence that makes July blood boil. She gets to hear that often after loosing a huge chunk of her warband. It slowly fades, after she proves herself over and over again. Granting her soon the title of Centurion. Her constant need to prove herself lets her slip into something, she actually never wanted to sign on. And she will be too proud, to admit that this title might be to much for her. She will become the Commander - a huge and important figure in the history of Tyria.

And it starts with joining one of the three big orders. But instead of joining Vigil, the order she actually wanted to join. She ends up in the Order of Whispers, where she gets reunited with her Sire. All because of an sarcastic joke and false pride, to admit she wanted to join another Order.

At first she is not happy to see her Sire. He despises him for all the trouble he caused her, for just being related to him. But she will warm up to him. Even starting to see him as a father.

Only to have him ripped from her later on. She will grow so unbelievable angry at this. Hatred against her Sire,... her father will once again boil up. Only to cover how hurt she is, loosing him. July always had problems to express her true feelings. She hides these behind a loud and rude mouth. She will rather yell at you, then admit she is hurt. Its easier. It always was.

She will channel all the hatred for the fight against the Elder-Dragons. She wants them dead - each of them. This might change when she finds an egg - forming a huge crack in all this hatred has accumulated all these years.

Some loose bits: (that might change with replaying the story)

Trahearne, he will play a huge part in her development. He can't ease her pain and the hatred she feels for the world. But he will become someone she looks up to. Someone she feels first sees her worth. Who is truly proud of her. Who believes in her. Despise all her flaws. (Imagine the heartbreak during HoT)

She has terrible anger issues. Something she has to work on for many years.

She is an emotional mess. And she does her best to hide this ugly side. Just as the anger that boils in her.

She is incredible talented in her craft as Engineer. She will take huge part in crafting weapons against Dragons and their minions. They will be effective and absolutely deadly.

Later she will definitely pick up on Jade-Tech

Yet during all the years as Commander, she constantly doubts her abilities. She fears she is not strong enough - especially when Rytlock comes back as Revenant. He is so much more powerful than her. All she can do is craft stuff. Maybe hit hard with her Hammer,... but thats it. Without her Gadgets she is nothing. This gnaws on her a lot.

At one point she might ask Rytlock to take over as Commander - maybe after HoT. Of course he will refuse.

She is friend with Kairo Windshear (Belongs to @brightwingedbat) We still have to figure out a lot. But so far it looks like their relationship is messy. They hooked up for a while, but like with Mav, - it didn't worked out.

She will pickup the love / fixation for apples from her dad.

July desperately seeks for a meaningful something / relationship. Something to hold onto - something that won't leave her and maybe see her. Not the angry mess - but also the person behind all this. Just,... a constant in her life. An anchor, to make her feel safe.

At this point of her journey I'm not sure if she will find it or how this will look like. Will she find a soulmate - as a everlasting friendship or love? Will she make peace with her role as Commander and start to thrive in this role? Will the sudden motherhood for Aurene bring her that? Or with own Cubs?

Who knows. At this point her pages are still blank. Its on her to fill these.

(While writing this,... Gw2 Story has so many moments where they give the Commander something and then its taken away. Even in a way Aurene. Man,... you can fit so much trauma in the Commander. July,... I'm sure you will do your best, but I already see a lot of suffering for you ahead. Good thing she is stubborn,...)

---

And bonus, some screens of her and Tybalt, shortly after their first meeting.

He tries hist best.

[darlenicy]

@trixweek day 3 || Backstory For The Trix || fanfiction (kinda)

Okay, so this is a headcanon I have which is canon in my rewrite “It could have been us” and the rewrite of that “Sisters by blood”.

The Trix are three sisters: Icy is the oldest, Darcy is the middle child, and Stormy is the youngest sibling. Their family name is Whisperia (no props to 4kids for anything but this name is cool, and I wanted it to have a connection to the Trix). The Magic Dimension is split into white-magic and dark-magic (sometimes also referred as black-magic) people.  The Whisperias are an old noble family from Eraklyon who is known to be dark-magic. A century ago, when Domino fell under the influence of the Ancestral Witches, the Whisperias were their most faithful allies. Domino fell, but so did the Ancestral Witches and even though the planet and the royal family of Domino were lost it was seen as a triumph of light over darkness. It was later propagated especially from the Company of Light who spread their victory over the Ancestral Witches and their underlings in the whole Magic Dimension. Therefore, the Whisperias have been in disgrace for a long time now. They, however, weren’t robbed of their titles. Since the family fell into disgrace their economic situation became worse and worse. They were nobles, yes, but over the centuries they impoverished, and the family itself became smaller and smaller. Those who were able to, chose another name to live by.

The daughter of the last Lord of Whisperia, Malicia, is said to have murdered her whole remaining family to gain a certain power (which was never proven, it is also possible that the family members died of a disease which spread over Eraklyon by that time). This power however, should guarantee the new awakening of the Ancestral Witches and bring back the family’s fortune. People already avoided the family at any cost but now even more. Malicia never married but gave birth to three daughters in as many years. It is unknown who the father or the fathers of the girls are. Malicia’s state of health was diminished by the births (and probably by the spell connecting to them), and so she withdrew from the public and didn’t leave the family’s mansion anymore. It was rumored that the three daughters, later the Trix, where somehow the reincarnation of the Ancestral Witches. As the rumors took over, King Erendor forbid the people to talk about this to avoid panic. He declared the rumors as nonsense, saying it was just a way Malicia was trying to make her family important again. (The fact that Malicia never spread the rumors herself didn’t matter to the King).

So, the Trix grew up as outsiders. Nobles, but poor nobles. The Whisperia family had only two remaining servants: an elderly butler and some kind of Nanny to the Trix who was also the cook and cleaner of the house. The three sisters grew up being avoided by everyone, knowing that their once glorious family fell from grace and had no importance anymore. Icy always hated it, thinking their family deserved better. Darcy suffered in silence and Stormy tried her best to make their reputation even worse. Their mother was often sick, spent most of her time in her absolute dark room in bed and told the Trix nothing about their possible fate and legacy and also never spoke of their father(s). 

Icy, real name Isobel, concentrated on becoming powerful and very trained in magic. Her goal is to bring back her family’s greatness at all costs. She always had the best grades and studied hard even though she already is very smart. The loneliness in school still bothered her but she couldn’t talk about this with her sisters. She was the oldest, the one to protect the others, since her mother couldn't because of her health. The only one she entrusted her sorrows was Blance, a horse her family owned. The Whisperias used to breed horses a long time ago, but when the family became poorer, most horses were sold. Blance, a white mare, was one of the few who remained. The day, the faithful horse died (no nice story and Erendor is responsible for it), Darcy thought, that her sister’s heart froze to death. Icy has a huge hatred for King Erendor. Oddly enough she becomes friends with Prince Sky in her early teens and later maybe even more. When Icy met Lilith at Cloud Tower, a witch from Solaria whose family’s roots reach back to Domino, a lot changed. Lilith told Icy about the Dragon Flame, the most powerful power (lol) in the Magic Dimension. Icy sees it as a chance to bring back her family’s honor (Zuko vibes but more extreme). She wants the people to suffer hard for looking down on her family and if the powers of the Ancestral Witches can help her with that, the better. She finally confronts Malicia who admits that the Ancestral Witches are indeed the Trix’ ancestors. But she still refuses to tell icy anything about her birth and how exactly she and her sisters are connected to the Ancestral Witches.

Darcy, real name Darcelle, as said before, suffered from being alone and shunned by everyone. Over time, left alone with her thoughts, she began to wish all the people who avoided her only the worst. Her thoughts became pitch black, and she developed the power of reading minds early as a kid. As she grew up, she perfected her powers so much so that she could not only read minds but also manipulate them. She found out about her powers, when a girl bullied her in school. One day that girl was mean to her once again and Darcy’s anger turned into power and controlled the girl who almost impaled herself with a pair of scissors in art classes. It was a bloodbath, and the girl only barely survived. Darcy was scared for life of her own powers but also impressed. The situation made her fear the dark and being afraid that someone could take over her body (after all the stories she heard about her family and especially herself and her sisters). Her mother told her to turn her fear into a weapon. From that time on she lingered in the old library of their mansion, reading the darkest books and developing her powers. She’s probably the one of the trio with the most knowledge of the black arts.

The thing Stormy (real name Beatrix, and she hates it) felt most, was anger. Anger about her family being shunned. Anger that she and her sisters never found friends. Anger, that their mother never told them anything. So, she gave no fucks about anything. She misbehaved at school, tortured the kids that bullied her or Darcy (no one dared to bully Icy. One glance of her was enough, so the people just shun her). It became so problematic, that she got expelled at many primary schools. She never attended the private school for girls, which every noble girl on Eraklyon attended at 12, but instead attended a normal school with a very bad reputation. No other school wanted her. She became the kind of girl your parents warn you about. Very low morals and only doing the things she likes. It was hard for Icy and Darcy to look over her, since they were at different schools. Her big sisters always tried to influence the girl in a more positive way, but it looks like they failed. Especially when Icy and later Darcy went to Cloud Tower in Magix, they completely lost their influence on her youngest sibling. Stormy enjoyed that freedom and tried many things out: from boys, over alcohol to drugs. She’s seen and done it all.

By the way, the name “Trix” was given to their coven by Icy, after Lilith died. To Icy the only important thing in the world was now her two sisters, the three of them – Trix.

[nicoroni]

This started as me telling @isleofair about my silly fantasy au idea (which is that Kotetsu and Bunny are royals arranged to be married, they're having the absolute Worst Time, but that is all in the background because FireSky are living a romcom with full shoujo vision and Do Not Notice the shenanigans) and then it became... this little ficlet?

@isleofair loved it, so I hope everyone else does as well! :3

--

Title: FireSky Royalty AU Fandom: Tiger & Bunny Pairing: Keith Goodman/Nathan Seymour Tags: royalty au, ficlet, she/her pronouns for Nathan Seymour, so many background characters

---

Nathan laughs as a man in shining golden armor - aptly named "Golden Ryan" - spins her around the dance floor.

He's surprisingly graceful for someone in a full set of plate - not the decorative armor most people favour for formal events - and she's never been one to turn down a dance. Even if she's fairly certain it's not for her sake, but for that of the Princess of the Blue Rose, who's steely gaze has not left them since Ryan asked for her hand.

The song winds down, the band taking a momentary break, and she allows Ryan to lead her off the dance floor. She ends up with her back to the wall, Ryan's to the dance floor, her hand still in his.

Before he can ask, Nathan assures him, "She's still watching, and I do believe she's at the edge of her patience."

Ryan originally hailed from a kingdom far from here, one that had been left in ruin and had Ryan shunned in disgrace - but he'd made a stunning comeback when he'd rode into the Kingdom of the Blue Rose in his glittering armor, and announced he was to be the Princess' personal knight. (A recommendation from the Kingdom of the Hare surely didn't hurt.)

He grins brightly at Nathan, another piece of him that matches his namesake. "Thank you for your service. I owe you one."

And with a cheeky salute, he saunters back onto the dance floor, spinning several other people - regardless of age or gender - as he makes his way back to his Princess.

Nathan settles into her place, leaning slightly against the wall and enjoying the opportunity to people watch.

The Tiger King and his betrothed, the Hare Prince, are dancing, apparently not noticing the way one song has faded out and is only now transitioning into another. They're nearly nose to nose, moving fluidly together, and seem to be simultaneously arguing.

She hums to herself, watching as they disappear into the crowd of other dancers piling back onto the floor. She will have to keep an eye out for them - the King has been her friend for many years (and ever so briefly, after his beloved wife had passed, he'd been her lover as well) and she wishes the best for him. He certainly has his hands full with this "bunny" as he has taken to calling the Prince.

She spots his young daughter in the crowd, dancing with the Rock Bison - another friend of the King and champion in his own right. Kaede, not yet grown into her title of Tiger Princess, looks youthful and full of joy, exactly as she should. (And if Nathan has to stifle a giggle at the way Bison must bend down to dance with the girl, well, no one is around to hear it.)

She's contemplating what to do next - if perhaps she should find a refreshment, or maybe simply call it a night - when someone in the crowd catches her eye.

He has a head of golden hair - akin to the setting sun, she thinks - topped with a rather unusual gold and silver crown. His ceremonial armor is impractical at best, but she will admit its beautiful as well. The white cape, lined with a deep royal purple, draped over his shoulders would look ridiculous on most people, but she thinks he looks rather dashing.

She recognizes him for who he is - Keith, the King of the Highest Skies, Hero Among Men - before he's even halfway across the room. She would recognize him with her eyes closed, she thinks, simply by the feeling of warmth he brings with him, like being bathed in the light of the sun.

She's no stranger to warmth, being the bearer of the Fire Emblem - as shown by the mark on her bicep - and Champion of Flames herself, but the warmth that follows Keith is different. It radiates from somewhere deep inside him, nourishing everything he comes close to.

The dog at his side, golden as Keith is, in his own ceremonial regalia, would also be a give away. Where King Keith goes, so does Sir John.

Nathan can't help but smile as Keith struggles to reach her, having to stop every few steps to politely decline a dance, or shake a hand, or kiss a baby. It's not right to tease him, she knows, but - and she will admit this to herself if no one else - he's simply too cute for his own good.

He finally reaches her, looking only slightly worse for the wear, with a few hairs out of place and his crown sitting crooked on his head. Sir John sits at their feet, staring up at her with his big brown eyes, his tail wagging almost imperceptibly as he waits to be greeted. He is just as polite as his master, she knows.

"Hello, Your Majesty." She greets, inclining her head just slightly. Perhaps she should curtsy or bow - she's never been quite sure where she ranks in comparison to a King - but Keith has never minded before.

She waits a moment longer, watching as he blushes when she smiles at him, before sinking to her knees to greet John as well. She gets a slobbery tongue across her cheek for her efforts, and the delighted laugh she lets out is the most genuine one of the night.

When she stands again, Keith has squared his shoulders, and is looking at her rather intensely. She wonders if he knows his crown is still crooked.

"Your Majesty?" She prompts, and he lets out a breath in a whoosh of air she feels against her face.

"Just Keith, please."

She smiles again, and reaches out to straighten his crown. Impertinent, perhaps, but it makes Keith's blush rise up to his ears and that makes it worth it.

"Keith." She says, very softly, and his gaze goes soft and liquid. Not for the first time, she thinks about how much he reminds her of the sky, how she sometimes imagines she could fall into his eyes and simply float there. He even carries the scent of fresh spring air with him wherever he goes, no matter the time of year.

"Nathan." He answers, very softly, sounding so terribly besotted that Nathan thinks /she/ may actually blush.

He catches her hand between both of his as she drops it from his crown, and she suddenly longs to feel his skin against hers, without the barrier of his gloves between them.

Keith takes a deep breath, steeling himself again - she sees the way his eyes harden, just slightly, no hint of cruelty there, but determined resolve.

"May I have this dance?"

---

Keith stands on the outskirts of the party, wishing he could fade into the background like Ivan so often does. It's not that he doesn't love his people - of course he loves his people! He loves all people, really - it's just that he hasn't had a moment to himself all day - not unusual, but distressing to him on today of all days - and he really, really needs some time alone.

Well, not alone, exactly.

He watches as Nathan spins around the dance floor, absolutely radiant under the enchanted lighting. Not even her dance partner, the famous Golden Ryan, in armor as bright as his namesake suggests, could possibly outshine her. To Keith, she feels like a lighthouse, a beacon of warmth and safety as he's jostled by the waves of a crowd of strangers. When she smiles, he feels as though he's looking into the very heart of a fire - beautiful and powerful - but with no fear of getting burned.

She looks wonderful every day, of course, but seeing her in something so formal for this celebration is a rare treat. (And speaking of the celebration, King Kotetsu and Prince Barnaby seem to be getting along very well, today - dancing slow and close amongst the rest of the court. It's a nice change, Keith thinks, from the way they'd been arguing only a few days prior.)

Nathan's dark skirt, worn over a pair of striking pink pants, twirls with her as she moves - the red and orange and gold sequins along it's edge sparkle as they catch the light. He can't hear over the noise of the party, but he can imagine the sound her boots make on the marble floor - a gentle click-clack that he associates with her presence, now. Her jacket - black, with roses embroidered in a glittering thread - is left open, revealing much more skin than anyone else here would dare. Keith's attention does not linger on the tantalizing glimpse of bare skin, but instead settles on the vibrant pendant resting on the centre of her chest. She had gifted him a similar one, what feels like centuries ago, and he feels it now like it's burning a hole in his chest - he almost wishes it would, that it would burn straight through his shirt and armor and show all the world that his heart belongs to The Fire Emblem, to Nathan.

A sharp tug on the edge of his cape draws his mind back to the present, and he suddenly remembers he's holding someone's baby. He's mortified to realize he has no idea who the baby belongs to. He tries to look subtle as he glances side to side, seeking out a parent waiting for their child to be returned to him.

As always, it's John who saves him from his wandering mind, and when he glances down the dog is pointing with his nose at a nearby couple.

Keith mouths a silent, "Thank you.", before returning the infant to their delighted parents. They don't seem to have noticed Keith's inattention, and if they did, they don't say anything about it.

He's not ready to talk to Nathan after the debacle with the baby.

John is an incredible companion and has quite literally saved Keith's life on occasion, but he hasn't mastered the art of conversation just yet. (He's very good at it, really, but he can't quite make up for Keith's nervous stuttering.)

Nathan makes him stutter nervously on a good day - he hates to think of how much he'll embarrass himself today, when he's already frazzled and she looks so breathtakingly beautiful.

On the other hand, their necklace is still a blazing, heavy weight against his chest - it feels as though it wants to be returned to Nathan as much as Keith himself does.

Once again, John saves him.

Before he can make a decision, John has his cape between his teeth again, tugging insistently. When Keith doesn't immediately follow his lead, John pushes his head against the back of Keith's knee, nudging him in the right direction.

Keith stumbles forward, and John repeats, nudging Keith's opposite knee this time.

"John!" Keith hisses, trying to look like these steps are intentionally and not like he's drunk. He also keeps a pleasant smile plastered on his face, even as his heart beats wildly in his chest, more and more intense with every step toward Nathan.

They're stopped several times on their journey - with invitations to dance, or talk, or hold another baby - but John doesn't allow Keith to linger. If Keith pauses for too long, John nips at his ankles, unprotected by Keith's useless ceremonial armor.

He catches Nathan's eye when he's no more than a few feet away, and a real, genuine smile curls his lips. He cannot help it, when he looks at her. Warmth spreads from his necklace, suffusing his whole body, so comforting and familiar it makes him a little sleepy.

And then he's standing in front of Nathan, looking slightly upward to continue to meet her gaze, and she's smiling at him, too.

"Hello, your majesty." She greets, inclining her head slightly. She doesn't bow, or curtsy, doesn’t lean into any sort of formality at all, really. Just smiles, and watches him for a touch too long.

Keith can't help but blush under her scrutiny - not because he's afraid of judgement, no, but because of the exact opposite. Because when she looks at him, he feels like he's really being seen for the first time in his entire life - at the very least, since the first time he put on his crown.

And then she's kneeling, and for a split second Keith's mind races, frantically trying to understand what she's doing and why she would be on her knees and- And she's greeting John, as she always does, letting him lick her face and laughing so joyfully, so genuinely that it nearly brings tears to Keith's eyes. How she manages to always be so honest is beyond him, but he loves her all the more for it.

He takes a deep breath, to settle his nerves, to convince his racing heart to settle - it doesn’t work - and rolls his shoulders back, standing straight as he can.

Okay, Keith, you can do this.

John leans against his leg, a comforting weight.

"Your Majesty?" Nathan says, leaning in just slightly, studying his face.

Keith realizes he's been holding his breath, and he lets it all at once, an exhalation that ruffles the feathers dangling from Nathan's earrings.

"Just Keith, please." He tells her, for what must be the thousandth time. It doesn’t bother him, that he must always ask one more time, it seems to be a sort of game between them.

She reaches out, and the tension returns to Keith all at once, bracing himself for some sort of touch, as if preparing for an assault. In truth, he fears that even a brush of Nathan's bare skin against his own would be electrifying, and far too much for him to handle.

Instead, she holds his gaze as she adjusts his crown on his head. He feels the hot blush rise up to his ears - not embarrassment, exactly, but a rush at the intimacy of the gesture. No one else would dare to touch his crown, to be so close, to hold eye contact for so long.

"Keith." She breaths, and Keith feels like every inch of him is going to melt into a contented puddle on the floor, so enamored he is by the sound of his name on her lips.

His lips part. He says nothing, only a split second of a pause and then, "Nathan."

The way she looks at him is more magical than any spell or trick he has ever seen. He feels as though he's laying in the sun on a spring day, basking in the first warmth of the year, the remainder of frost melting away.

He takes her hand in his - begrudging and thanking his gloves in equal measure, for the barrier they provide between his skin and hers.

He takes a deep breath. Feels her hand in his. Feels John's weight against his leg. Feels the pendant against his chest - a little piece of her that has swiftly become a little piece of him, entwined with his heart.

She waits, patient as always, and Keith wonders how long she will wait for him. In his heart of hearts, he knows it's forever. He knows, because he would wait an eternity for her.

"May I have this dance?"

-fin-

[tales-of-kaylor]

The Tortured Poets Department - first thoughts

Thought I‘d share my thoughts on some of the songs after the second listen. My brain isn‘t equipped to process 31 songs, so I‘m focusing on the original tracks for now 😅 (I also left out a few of the original tracks because I have no coherent thoughts on them yet.)

I can‘t wait to read everybody else’s thoughts and discuss them!

- The title track could definitely be from Karlie’s perspective (thank you for your message anon)

- My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys: there are so many kid/childhood references on this album (I wonder why). This song being one of them. It‘s one of my favorites right now. Cause I knew too much, there was danger in the heat of my touch. He saw forever so he smashed it up is so queercoded!

- Down Bad: I haven’t formed full thoughts about this song but it feels to me like it could be about Scott Borchetta? I could also see it being about Karlie and their situationship in the beginning?

- So long, London: Imo there’s also traces of Scott Borchetta in here. I‘m pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free. | And you say I abandoned the ship but I was going down with it. | Just how low did you think I‘d go before I‘d self-implode? Before I‘d have to go be free?

- But Daddy I Love Him: This is my personal track 5 because it absolutely broke me. The imagery, the message that she was caged at a young age and made to do as she was told is beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. I just learned these people try and save you cuz they hate you. | I‘ll tell you something right now, I‘d rather burn my life down than listen to one more second of all this bitchin‘ and moanin‘. I‘ll tell you something about my good name, it‘s mine alone to disgrace. | Thinking it can change the beat of my heart when he [she] touches me and counteract the chemistry and undo the destiny.

- Fresh Out The Slammer: This song is very intriguing. I‘m reading it as, the love blackout is over. All those nights you kept me going, swirled you into all of my poems. Now we‘re art the starting line, I did my time.

- Florida!!!: Is this connected to the End Game music video?

- Guilty as Sin: Gay sex.

- Who‘s Afraid of Little Old Me: This song is so good! So much anger, no filter. I‘m here for it! The way she screams Who‘s Afraid of Little Old Me sends dopamine to my brain.

- I Can Do It With A Broken Heart: It‘s a bop. The last line Try and come for my job is everything. I know everyone thinks this song is about the Eras Tour, but I‘m not convinced.

- The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: another Scott Borchetta song imo. I just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal. Her rumored coming out in June 2019? Also… that bridge 🤯

- The Alchemy: On the surface this seems to be about TK but when you look closer it’s a Kaylor song imo. These blokes warm the benches. This line reminds me of exile and is probably about the beards.

[jamiesfootball]

Please tell us more about your original works!!

Honest to God, I was thinking of your stories earlier today and thought how lucky we are you spend any time writing fan fiction (and for the show that is my hyper fixation! How did I get this lucky?) because you’re so fucking talented you should writing real books.

you are always far far nicer to me than i deserve and I LOVE IT! (I LOVE YOU!!)

The wonderful thing about fanfiction is that writing for Ted Lasso has full-on cured my years-long writing slump. And I am looking at all of these book ideas, some of which have been kicking around in my brain for going on 10 years, and i'm like....yeah, yeah. I am going to work on those :D

So these are the ones I'm working on. They are in various states of progress.

My Babies! If any of these are getting finished first, it will be one of these three!

Barnacle - the placeholder name for my DETECTIVE STORY. A woman who has recently left a troubled marriage, our main character is a shell of the person she used to be. Wanting to put as much distance between her and the California life she left behind, she's rented a cabin in the middle of a small tourist town in the northern cold. When a man in the neighboring cabin is murdered during the night, she finds her mind stirred to action as the pieces of herself that she thought lost slowly come back to her. (And then she becomes a private investigator because I love detective stories and she solves crimes and makes friends and this is just the first one and I'm like. super excited about it.)

A Robot Named Future - this one is my long-brewing wip. It's about an AI robot from the not-to-distant future that gets rebooted ('wakes up') in a junkyard the very far distant future. Lots of scifi tropes, lots about the erosion of history and humans always being humans, and of course, food. Like a lot about food in this one.

Chasing Whispers in the Canyon (Western (sort of)) - Injured and AWOL military soldier Joanna is on the brink of death in the middle of the desert when she is saved by a tall, pale stranger. Her and the stranger -- an offputting, odd woman who's absolutely lethal with a pistol - hunker down together in a small town that seems on the verge of its own small war. When trouble comes for Joanna, the stranger risks drawing the attention of her own complicated past to save the woman who is possibly her only friend. (yes, the placeholder title is a song title. One song spurred all of this. I regret nothing)

The ones I'll get to one day!

Boots and Babes on the Boardwalk - I don't know why I titled it this way other than the alliteration (needs a new title). This one is about a partially closeted, mentally ill, middle aged gay man who's running his conservaative family's shady business. He just fell head over heels about another man, and that's serving as an impetus for him to actually look at his life. On temporary hiatus because the plot is a little wobbly

The Lens - Guy who recently went blind and had to drop out of an art program accompanies his still-seeing friend to a museum exhibit. Due to the awkward tension their circumstances have put between them, neither notices when his friend proceeds to lose the camera equipment he'd checked out from campus. With the museum closing in an hour and his friend's final grades on the line, these two piece together where in the museum his friend lost his camera. (this one is more like a novella or a long short story)

The Hoard - One night. One party. Five thieves. One pile of dragon treasure. (Think leverage but the treasure they are stealing belongs to a corrupt government via dragons).

Hawaiian Shirts and Bruised Eyes - A butch, lesbian stuntwoman who broke her arm on a motorcycle meets a nurse at the hospital who may just be the love of her life. The love of her life may also be a serial killer. It's hard to say.

The Frog Witch - vengeful disgraced witch lady seeks revenge against the people who wronged her with the help of a prince who has been cast out from his people. References to Euripedes' Medea.

[natequarter]

a more detailed version of my era shift au:

the captain is a roman soldier. he's the oldest ghost around, and the rest of the ghosts know fuck all about him, including how he got the name captain, or why he's not wearing roman armour, or, you know, how he died...

pat is an anglo-saxon bard who went to the trouble of writing his own poems - but his wife's lover stole it from him, and he's spent the last thousand or so years angry at that rather than fact that he was murdered after getting caught up in a tavern brawl. priorities, man

fanny (originally stephanie, centuries later dubbed fanny by kitty) is a medieval noblewoman married off to (insert title here) george. her cause of death is a mystery lost to history - was it an accident? was it murder? was it a suicide? if they'd just look in a mirror, they would quite literally see the answer staring back at them and yelling at them to wear their hair up properly, disgraceful whores!

thomas thorne is a young nobleman of the 1490s, determined to prove his worth to the lady isabelle in a jousting tournament. too bad that francis clanged him over the head with some heavy metal object. he fell face-forwards and died. convinced that if he just practices enough, he might someday become good at jousting (this is not true)

julian is also a nobleman - a stuart under charles ii this time. it's a bit too early for the time period, but picture the earl of croydon in bill, and you've more or less got the vibe. not actually the owner of button house: he was caught sleeping with the real owner's wife, and beheaded in a fit of rage

mary is a servant from the 1850s. the east wing of button house burnt down after some idiot left a candle burning during the night by accident; nobody else died, because the rest of the household awoke in time to put the fire out, but mary choked on the smoke, and has been very bitter that no one managed to save her ever since

kitty is a stylish young woman of the 1930s. she was invited to a dinner party in the style of an agatha christie murder mystery... unfortunately, this took a far too literal turn when her sister actually did poison her. kitty is half annoyed at being murdered and half kind of vibing with the whole real life murder mystery vibe she has going on, and has been enthusiastically following the attempts to solve the kitty case (as she likes to put it)

humphrey is an ex-soldier and painter who died in the mid-1950s. he was unwillingly drafted into ww2, but managed to survive, go back home, and eventually escape to the countryside and rent out heather button's gatehouse, a welcome break from a post-war world which for a post-war mind was incredibly stressful. he painted and sold landscapes for several years. things were finally looking up! oh, and then he died of carbon monoxide poisoning. absolutely shit way to go after living through two world wars

and finally there's robin, an early 2000s conspiracy theorist who thought gravity wasn't real, tested his hypothesis by jumping out a window, and was very, fatally wrong. his nokia brick is still going strong though

[elenamcrgan]

elena morgan, the blighted. penned by bonnie for paxtonrp

[tw for implied homophobia and alcoholism in bio]

statistics.

name. elena morgan. title/occupation. disgraced socialite / donor to obsidian holdings. age. thirty-four years old. date of birth. 27 june. zodiac sign. cancer. gender. female. pronouns. she/her/hers. orientation. lesbian. status. unmarried. allegiance. obsidian holdings ??? traits. independent, refined, openminded, tenacious, sensitive, insecure, weak-willed, vulnerable.

background.

tw for implied homophobia and alcoholism

They say money can't buy happiness, and Elena Morgan knows it's a fact. After all, she had it all, once, and has never been more miserable. Her family came from old New York real estate money, but there was never any real belief that she would be anything more than a pretty face. A beautiful little fool, in Fitzgerald terms. 

The youngest daughter of a family that valued its male members most, she wasn't the favorite. Her coming out as a lesbian when she was a teen didn't exactly help matters, either. She spent her teens and early twenties sort of floating through life, detached from the demands of the family business by design. 

It came to her only through a series of tragedy, leaving her the last Morgan standing. She didn't know much about business, but she did have a chip on her shoulder and a desire to prove herself. Leaving much of the work to others, it was all too easy for her to be misled. Looking back, she thinks maybe she should have sold while she still could.

Instead she ran west, exploring until she found Paxton, where she could simply lay low. It was a refreshing change of pace, and a relief for Elena to have somewhere she could reinvent herself. Her full bank account helped, as did the many opportunities in the wide open landscape. Perhaps it was finally a way to prove she could learn from her mistakes.

It turned out that getting involved with Obsidian was just another in a line of mistaken investments. It had seemed promising - a chance to help survive, making money off the undeveloped land out west. It's just turned out to be another mess, like pouring money into a black hole. The more she's learned about their true intentions, the more she loathes it. But she's pot committed, in too deep to pull out without ruining herself in the process.

It's one failure too many for a fragile woman to bear. She had relied on Alicia to keep her tethered, the friend who had guided her through her new lease on life. Now that she's gone, Elena is starting to feel unmoored, loose at the seams. No matter where she looks, she feels absolutely alone, abandoned. Her fresh start is starting to feel like it might be her undoing instead.

Lately, she spends most of her nights holed up in a corner at the Glass Cactus, trying not to be noticed in the crowd. The drinks and music help to drown out her sorrows, or to make them worse, depending on her mood. She knows eventually she has to do something, but she's been nursing her wounds thus far, trying to find her footing before she realizes she has nothing left to lose.

plot arc.

They took everything from her. Once Obsidian Holdings had their teeth into her there was no turning back. There isn't much in the way of resistance, but every where she looks there's damage. Now, her good friend Alicia is missing, and it feels like the final straw. She feel like she's going crazy and she's one drink away from opening her loose lips to anyone who will listen.

[lightphieric]

Over the past two and a half years, I have amassed a huge backlog of games and extensively catalogued the ones I’ve played. It started out as a way to keep myself sane during the pandemic, but since then it’s basically just become the way I play video games. I’ve recently reached the huge milestone of 200 games played using this system, and to commemorate, I thought a list of “Each Zero Escape character as one of those 200 games” would be fun! Let’s go!

(FYI, I kept a tier list and for this post, I’ve only drawn from games I’ve ranked B, A, or S. So yes, these are all recommendations! I played some of them via itch.io, but all of them are available on Steam)

Ace: Contradiction

An FMV detective game with elegantly simple mechanics: you do exactly what the title says and it’s very satisfying. Special mention goes to the pair of shady businessmen you encounter who totally don’t brainwash, kill, or kidnap people wink wink.

Snake: Dicey Dungeons

This is almost entirely based on Light’s codename meaning “snake eyes,” but it was between this and that game you play by blinking so this seemed like the more appropriate choice. A cute and cheeky roguelike deckbuilder played by rolling and assigning dice. The fact that its gameplay is built around basic arithmetic gives me 999 vibes in general!

Santa: Tell Me Why

A choice-consequence adventure game from the makers of the first two Life Is Strange games (LIS2 my beloved, don’t @ me). Two siblings who can communicate telepathically revisit their childhood home and the events leading up to their mother’s death. One of the siblings is a trans man so if you are as Correct about Aoi as I am you know where I’m coming from.

Clover: Chicory: A Colorful Tale

The game where the world is a blank coloring book and you get to fill in the lines. Tells a lovely and relatable story about art, burnout, impostor syndrome and mentorship, although the main reason I’m assigning this to Clover is because it’s just plain adorable. The relationship between Pizza and Chicory also reminds me of her and Alice.

Junpei: Lamplight City

Perhaps aligned more with ZTD Junpei than any other iteration, this is a steampunk point-and-click about a disgraced detective who is haunted by his late partner and can’t rest until he’s avenged his death. The best part of this game is the protagonist’s awesome wife, who, unlike Akane, will actually help you with puzzles sometimes.

Akane: Elsinore

You play as Ophelia. You are stuck in a time loop and must find a way to save yourself and manufacture a happier ending to the tragedy of Hamlet. This is basically tied with Celeste for the title of my favorite video game of all time, and I was delighted to find parallels between it and Akane’s story.

Seven: The Darkside Detective

I love detective games so I had a wealth to choose from when it came to the cop character. I ended up going with this game, a standard point-and-click that is a detective game in name and theming only but is still a lot of fun. A pastiche of Twin Peaks and X-Files with some of the funniest writing I’ve ever seen in a video game, it captures Seven’s zaniness and willingness to believe in the supernatural.

Lotus: Beglitched

A glitzy and girly game full of computer lingo and in-jokes that go over my head. Thankfully you don’t actually need to know a lick of code to enjoy it because the hacking minigames all take the form of really unique and strategic battles.

Kubota: Underhero

An RPG with one of the most wonderfully convoluted premises ever. Put simply, you’re a villain’s henchman who must play double agent when you’re magically chosen to be the next great hero. Kubota certainly doesn’t fit the “secret hero” angle, but a whole game about an underling seemed appropriate.

Sigma: Milkmaid of the Milky Way

A point-and-click (can you tell I love those?) in which a dairy farmer’s favorite cow is abducted by aliens and she must sneak onto the spacecraft to rescue it. Now, that absolutely delightful premise could work with just about any VLR character; I don’t want to spoil the game, but something else does happen that rings very close to Sigma’s story specifically.

Phi: Downwell

I really expected Phi to get a platformer, with all her soaring and kicking! Downwell is kind of a platformer, I guess, although really it’s more of a free-fall simulator and most of the things you land on die. You can either shoot enemies with your “gunboots” or step on them to kill them - killing things with your feet, very Phi.

Alice: Paradise Killer

A quirky open-world detective game where everyone is impractically hot. I’ve truly never felt more like a detective than I did while playing this game, but you can’t talk about it without talking about the style. The world is bizarre, the music is all vaporwave, and again. You, the investigator, are improbably sexy, and so is every suspect you interview.

Dio: Cult of the Lamb

The cute and cozy roguelike where you start your own cult and smite nonbelievers. I feel like I don’t really need to describe this one further, y’all know it already.

Luna: Cloud Gardens

An art/puzzle game about helping plants reclaim an abandoned, decaying urban environment. Has both a story mode which I completed, and a sandbox mode I didn’t try in which you can just grow gardens to your heart’s content.

Quark: Carto

A really cute puzzle game where you manipulate the very ground you stand on using a map. The story is about a little girl trying to find her grandmother, so it’s very Quark in both aesthetic and story.

Kyle: Hades

The mythological roguelike about hating your dad a whole lot. I don’t feel like I need to explain this one further, either, as everyone has talked about it at length including me on this very blog, but I’ll have you know that I’ve played it for hundreds of hours and it’s solidly my third favorite video game of all time.

Carlos: The Rewinder

This is the most recent game I’ve played; I haven’t finished it yet and I can’t even say for sure that it will be top-tier in the rankings, but I’m really liking it so far and since I wanted a puzzle game about time manipulation for Carlos it was between this and Braid. And as far as I know, The Rewinder doesn’t have a creator with the absolutely rancid vibes of Jonathan Blow.

Sean: 2064: Read Only Memories

A visual novel where you solve a mystery in a cyberpunk world with the help of the world’s first fully sentient AI. The AI is a precious baby baby baby; if you love Sean, you will love Turing.

Delta: Evergate

A gorgeous puzzle platformer about the afterlife and a fraught sibling relationship that transcends time. I loved this game so much that I 100-percented all the collectibles and time trials, which is something I never do. Made me want to call my brother.

Eric: Boyfriend Dungeon

Of course, my much maligned fave gets paired with a game that also gets a lot of undue hate but nonetheless has my entire heart. It’s a dating sim for all of the thirsty simps out there that’s also a roguelike about literally attacking your inner demons and fears with crazy impractical weapons. This choice has nothing to do with a certain Boyfriend Dungeon character who gives all Erics a bad name.

Mira: Carrion

Going through all these games I was surprised that this was the only real “play as the villain” power fantasy on the list. You might have heard of this one described as a reverse horror movie; you play as a biological weapon, or an alien, or something, that has escaped containment and it’s just about eating scientists and soldiers in an explosion of pixelly gore.

Diana: There Is No Game: Wrong Dimension

I won’t be all coy like every other reviewer: this is a video game, a point-and-click about a sentient computer program who really does not want you to use it. It’s really funny and full of meta-references, but the reason I chose it for Diana is because this game is actually a tragic love story not unlike SigDi. I’m not joking about that.

And there you have it, twenty-two great games, one for each Zero Escape character. This is just a silly post but, sincerely, check some of them out if they sound interesting to you!

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

consider my age, please don’t take me at this stage

Damian Wayne stands in a room of dead children and tries to remember that he’s not one of them. Not right now, anyway.

(Coda to Streets of Gotham #7)

____

@amonthofwhump‘s 12 Days of Whumpmas Prompt: Christmas Wishlist

Titles taken from the song O'Death by Amy Van Roekel.

You can find resources related to the current Roe crisis on my sideblog here.

(tw vomiting, discussions of graphic violence, past child abuse, internalized victim blaming, unreliable narrator, child death, graphic corpse description, implied decomposition, dissociation, mental health issues, trauma)

You can also see this on Ao3.

________________________________________________

“Have you been a good boy this year?” Dumpler asks, blinking at Damian from the shadows of the Arkham wagon. He’s still wearing that ridiculous red suit, pale ruff tickling his chin like a mockery of a beard.

Damian stares back at him. The standards of “good” and “bad” have been rearranged rather abruptly for him since last winter, after all. He’s not sure how well he would perform, by either his mother’s standards or his father’s, if it was all tallied up.

Well...his eyes flick past Dumpler’s head, towards the mock-orphanage and the shadows of police officers moving in and out. Grayson is still in there and Damian is out here, sent to “watch” Dumpler, as if the man’s got anything resembling fight left in him right now.

The aftertaste of vomit stings in his mouth, bitter like shame. He has a good idea of what both of his parents would think of his conduct tonight. 

It’s not like he’s a novice with corpses--he’s made plenty of his own, after all. Dead children shouldn’t bother him any more than dead adults would; there’s absolutely no excuse for his disgraceful conduct. Grandfather would probably beat him for it, and Damian would deserve every blow. 

Dumpler’s humming Christmas carols and Damian suddenly can’t stand this anymore. He squares his shoulders and turns abruptly away from the wagon, marching back towards the lit doorway like he’s going off to war. He’s not afraid, he isn’t.

When he steps inside, teeth gritted, the first thing that hits him is the smell--a mix of melting ice, a shame-inducing waft of cooling vomit, and the first dark wisps of rot. The cold had kept the corpses preserved up until his and Grayson’s idiotic blunder, but not the space is filled with light and heat. The place will smell like a charnel house, like the proving grounds at high noon--

Enough. Damian clenches his fists at his side, palms sinking into his flesh hard enough to leave marks. He forces his gaze down over the bodies, tracing the outline of bruised flesh and crooked limbs.

Dumpler had washed the bodies, hidden them in shadow, but there was a lot he couldn’t get rid of. Now the lights are up, every one, dead children laid out like a feast. The toys watch at their sides like sentries, jewel-bright eyes blinking.

Deep breaths--one, two, three. Assume command of the scene.

Mother’s hand on his shoulder, breath warm in his ear. He takes care not to look over his shoulder, because her eyes are glowing green again and the sight makes him nauseous. Look at the faces. Tell me what you see. 

I see my father cutting through the crowd like a shark.

I see the target’s eyes when she watches her wife.

I see my cousin’s face smashed in with a rock. Mara’s father was never the favorite child--I had to start brushing maggots away before Grandfather deigned to bring her back.

I see dead children and one of them is...

“Robin?” He stiffens a little, glancing up. Grayson and two police officers whose names Damian doesn’t care to remember are coming from a back room, closing the door on more bodies, more children. “I told you to watch Humpty.”

“Dumpler is fine,” Damian snaps, crossing his arms over his chest. It’s not just Dumpler they’re talking about, and they both know it. Grayson bites his lip, but thankfully has enough self-restraint not to get into things in front of the police.

One of said police is turning to look over the corpses. “Dumpler fits the bill,” he declares. “There’s probably enough of his DNA in here to fry him--”

“Because he took care of the bodies after,” Grayson points out.

“He says he did,” the cop shoots back.

Grayson huffs. “Humpty’s mental state--”

“He didn’t do it,” Damian cuts in. “They did it to each other. Some of them, anyway.”

They both look back at him. Damian bites his lip, trying not to feel pinned down by their gazes. Keep it together.

“See those handprints?” he says, gesturing to one boy’s throat. “Too small for Dumpler’s--or any adult or teen’s, for that matter.” He curls his hand over markings, lets them see how small they are.

He hits a man in the throat, and he falls back, twitching. The mark he leaves is smaller than the one his instructor did when she showed him how to do it.

“She’s missing hair,” Damian says, pointing to another girl. “And judging from corresponding length, texture, and coloring, he’s got some of it under his nails,” he explains, gesturing back at the other boy.

Mother cried out the first time he tried to yank on a strand of her long, dark hair during a fight. He let go on instinct and the pain vanished from his eyes, instantly placed by a triumphant smile. “You cannot let your enemy’s suffering distract you,” she’d told him afterward as they bandaged each other up.

“Small fist here, with no training.” He waves at a child’s cheek, the only part of their face not covered by matted brown hair. “The opponent broke their fingers.”

He does not remember where he learned to throw a punch--the same place he learned to wield a sword, that strange, hazy part of pre-memory.

“Robin--” Grayson asks. What is his problem? Damian is calm, calm, calm. Words fall from his lips like stones, cold and hard, laid out neatly for perusal.

“They didn’t know what they were doing. There are much more precise ways to fracture a skull.” He gestures to the side of a girl’s head, smashed dark red and twisted, before moving to the raggedly sliced neck of the body. 

“And these cuts are sloppy. Most of them were holding weapons too big for them.” Damian’s cuts are never sloppy but the sight of a too-big blade in a too-small hand leaves distinctive marks that he knows all too well.

The officers are looking at him the way Drake used to, fear edged with a hint of contempt. Damian ignores it.

Mother gave him an island once, then left him on it, weaponless, for three months. He almost died many times that first month and discovered he was happier with animals for company than people.

The second month she started sending people in to kill him and he discovered how many times you have to bash someone’s head in with a rock until they stop twitching. After the third month he had to relearn how to speak. That made her unhappy, although whether out of disappointment or sorrow he never dared to ask.

“Fighting over food, maybe?” one officers asks the other other. “Or drugs?” Neither is directly at Damian; he suspects that his presence makes them uncomfortable. This happens a lot.

“What kind of kids would do this to each other?” One of the cops, he can’t tell which. There’s confusion in his voice, maybe even horror.

What kind of child indeed.

“Kids who have no choice,” Grayson snaps. “None of the fatal handprints are from adults, but there are bruises from larger hands, and some are almost as fresh. They were...dragged.”

Shoved. Pushed. Stumbling onto hot sand, holding a blade tight. Everyone is watching. His shoulder aches and the fight hasn’t even begun.

“There are bruise marks from cage bars, too,” Grayson adds. He takes a step towards Damian and Damian’s legs twitch with the sudden urge to move back, to cover his exits. “Like they were kept somewhere and then released.”

Damian has the vague sense he’s supposed to nod but can’t entirely remember how. “...Yes.” The handprints on the wrists or shoulders are large, the ones on the throat are small. The nail marks, gouged frantically through each other’s skin, are small. He can see the small, small shimmer of teeth come loose, buried in flesh.

You could put one under your pillow, Grayson says as they look down at Damian’s tooth. Damian can’t imagine being foolish enough to openly invite a stranger into their home.

“They didn’t think about what they were doing,” Damian tells the corpses. “They weren’t thinking clearly.” It’s something Mother would say, and he can’t decide where that would put him on a list like Dumpler’s. Good or bad?

“They couldn’t,” Grayson says, deliberately gentle. Chiding, maybe? It’s hard to tell. 

“Too much all at once for a gang initiation,” Damian says. “More like a...” Blood splashes across his feet. “...fighting ring.” Show us what you can do.

An al Ghul would never fight for the entertainment of the unwashed masses. But that does not mean the al Ghul’s would never fight for anyone’s entertainment. Damian can feel his grandfather’s eyes burning into his back. Unless it’s the police looking at him instead. Or the dead children, glassy-eyed and dull, like a fish display.

He doesn’t want to look. He has to look. Watch or die. Damian’s face is reflected in every child’s eye, every glimmer of melting ice. He brushed bugs off Mara’s face as she rotted in the sun, while Dusan begged Grandfather for the right not to deem his daughter a failure, to let her be brought back. Her foot had skidded--it could have happened to anyone on the dusty fighting grounds. It had happened to Damian before.

“We’ll need to look at shelters, foster homes, see who’s missing,” Grayson says. His voice curls into something--anger, maybe, or frustration, directed nowhere in particular. “Who wouldn’t be missed. This is a--business--that needs a steady supply of product.”

He sits with her because he feels he must. He’d stabbed her because he felt he’d had to. One of those actions was some kind of moral weakness, he’s sure of it, or maybe both, but he can’t remember which one.

Follow the trail. See who holds the strings. Mother, Father, Grayson. In the end, they all sound the same.

"Some of the cuts are neater than others.” Damian’s voice sounds far away. He can see them, poking out through the layers of bruises and brokenness, older, sloppier marks folded on top of each other, to the red flowers beneath them. “Especially on the older ones, or the better-fed ones, with injuries to the knuckles or hands than the face. The ones who won more fights. They rose higher and higher until they faced--”

After he fights Mara, he fights Dusan, face blank with fury that will never be directed at Grandfather. He wins, but barely, and is left shaking and bleeding. Then Grandfather decides to spar, and Damian’s memories are all green fire and screaming afterwards

“Someone who knew what they were doing.” The words sound so cold, so empty. The words of someone 

Damian usually fought adults, not children, as befitting one of his position. There were other children in the League, of course--it was a good way of bolstering their numbers from the best stock--but he was mostly kept apart. Sometimes he trained them, or was set against a pack of them

or was ordered to punish a particular one for the sins of their parents

but none of them were started quite as early as he was, none finessed from the womb like he was. Not even Mara, skilled as she was.

Damian was greater than the children, greater than the adults. He was the best, he had to be. He’s beyond this stinking room, these cold, staring bodies. Or he should be, but he still looks down and reads the corpses like his own history.

“The cuts are precise, designed to cause suffering,” he tells them. “To draw out the display as long as possible.” Pay attention, Grandson. This is how you make it hurt. The knife sinking into his flesh, the knife he uses to sink into someone else’s. It all feels the same. “The watchers stop betting on who wins and start betting on how long this one will last.”

Mara jabs her blade into his ribcage. The traitor screams as Damian breaks her child’s neck between his palms. Everything tastes of blood and ice.

"They are told that the strongest, bravest, fiercest of them will be allowed to survive, but none of them get that far. There is always someone better, someone greater, waiting in the wings. It was set against them from the beginning; they got blood on their hands for nothing. Foolish to--”

“Robin.”

Damian blinks. Grayson is kneeling in front of him, light glinting off his white eye coverings. His hand hovers in the air like he’s going to touch Damian’s shoulder, but he isn’t sure if he should.

It dawns on Damian that at some point, he’s shifted into parade rest. Why is he in parade rest? Grayson hates it when he gives reports in parade reset.

“Robin, can you look at me?” Grayson says, voice soft.

He is looking at Grayson. Isn’t he? Or is he still looking at the corpses, laid out so carefully for his perusal? Body after body after body. Smashed, broken, too, worthless to both sides.

“The more precise cuts all come from a downwards angle,” Grayson says, voice soft, eyes burning into Damian like hot coals. “An adult was responsible, not a child. An adult was watching and let it happen. This was done by adults. The kids didn’t do anything wrong. They were just trying to stay alive.”

“I...” Damian’s mouth is dry, like sand in his throat. Exactly like sand in his throat.

The cop behind Grayson turns to his partner. “Crazy as Humpty, that one,” he mutters, jerking his head in Damian’s direction. “Last Robin was a known-it-all, but at least he wasn’t a--”

“Do you have something to contribute, officer?” Grayson’s voice is cold and sharp as glass. It’s not a Batman growl; it’s something else, something all his own and designed to cut. The officers both go still.

“My partner and I will be leaving now,” Grayson says, rising to his feet. “Thank you for your assistance.”

We have more to do, Damian wants to protest. I can look longer, I’m not weak, I’m not-- But the words are swept away in a blast of cold as the door closes behind them. Dumpler’s wagon is gone and the frost beads cold against his skin. He stands on the doorstep, feeling himself sway slightly in the breeze, but unable to stop it.

“Can I pick you up?” Grayson asks.

His lips form the words I can walk, but nothing comes out. When Grayson reaches for him, Damian can’t even make a pretense of wriggling away. His fingers are numb and tingling, his head ringing, blood pulsing behind his eyes.

He grabs for anger--anger always helps--but it slips from his fingers, fire winking out in his hands. Anger won’t bring the children back, anyway. The Lazarus Pit is a gift/curse offered to very few (and to be honest, there are plenty of nights when Damian’s not entirely sure it did its job at all).

“You’re okay, Dames,” Grayson says. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” He sounds like he really believes it.

The world slips by in a buzzing gray blur, snow and sand and ash all melting into each other. The distant press of Grayson’s fingers against his skin feels like the only thing keeping Damian grounded.

[themosleyreview]

The Mosley Review: Worst Films of 2022

Well ladies and gentlemen, 2022 has come to an end. Luckily, this year of cinema hasn't had too many pitfalls in quality that infuriated me. Actually, I take that back. There was a few films that truly disappointed me, pissed me off and 1 film that I absolutely despised. That's right people, its time for my pick for the worst films of 2022. Now you may not agree with me on some of them and that's okay. All film is subjective and you can have your opinions, but these are mine. If you want a more detailed review of each film listed, then simply click the title of each film. So, lets get this over.

Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness: I wouldn't say this was the worst of the year, but more of a disappointment.  I happened to like that this was basically an Evil Dead version of the titular character, but I thought it was so inconsistent and lackluster in so many ways. If your gonna have a horror vibe then go all the way and get creepy with it. This film also introduced a new MCU character in the absolute worst way. America Chavez was absolutely useless for the majority of the film even though she has a decent backstory. The last fight in the film was just so bad and the story could've been over in 5 minutes with some simple logic. I wish this had tied into the animated series "What if?" in some sort of way. At least that Doctor Strange arc was more compelling than this.

Black Adam: I love DC. It is my comic book home over Marvel anyday and their heroes are just as important as their villains and anti heroes. When "Shazam!" was a success, it was only a matter of time before we were gonna get his darker counter part and I was excited until I saw the trailer. I knew something was off and I was right. I don't mind when a character's origin is altered a bit to fit with the times, but this was the most bland version ever. Dwayne Johnson can deliver a decent performance when he is challenged and he wasn't challenged at all in this film. This was one of his worst performances as he just delivers emotionless dialogue and floats around for the majority of the film with no sense of character development. The Justice Society of America was just slapped in for no reason and most of the team aside from Hawkman and Dr. Fate weren’t worthy of their names. Hey Black Adam, 2012 called. They want their villain plot and their shitty CGI back. It’s truly sad when the most memorable thing anyone will ever talk about is the post credit scene as being the best part of the film. You deserved better Henry Cavill.

Jurassic World: Dominion: Oh how this franchise has fallen so hard. It had a good, nostalgic and fun beginning that could've led to an amazing finale. What I was hoping to see is an actual world that's over run with dinosaurs. There was a short film released before the film called "Battle at Big Rock" and in that short you got a taste of what the film should’ve been. It had dinosaurs showing up in a camp site and wreaking havoc. It was tense and somewhat violent and everything that Dr. Ian Malcolm described it would be. What we got with this entry was a film about genetically enhanced locusts destroying crops. What the hell does that have to do with the dinosaurs you say? Nothing. How can you call yourself a Jurassic film when the dinosaurs aren't even the star of the film? Don't even get me started on legacy characters popping back up on screen just to have nothing to do but scream and get thrown around. What a disgrace to the franchise name.

Morbius: Do I need to really say anything about this dumpster fire of a movie? Visually the film was okay looking and I liked the ferocity of the character, but man was the rest of the film just horrible. This really didn't do anything to capture even the essence of the famous comic anti hero. This was just another day in the life of Jared Leto to be honest. The plot of the film was so bland, obvious and not even compelling enough to have a sense of fun. The only person I think was having fun as he just went for it in every scene, was Matt Smith. Listen Sony, I know you hold or have bought up all the rights to Spider-Man and all of his rogues, but for the love of all things holy, STOP making comic book movies like these. Outside of the Miles Morales animated films, you have consistently tainted each character with piss poor writing and god awful attempts to connect it to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. You even tried it here and it doesn't even make any sense! I hope you loose all the rights in the future so that the people over seeing the MCU can properly take care of these beloved characters. UGH!

And now we've come to it. The film that I consider to be the absolute worst of 2022 and the one film I hated the most is………..

Thor: Love and Thunder: If there's any character in the MCU that has had a full life experience and has become complete by Avengers: Endgame, its Thor. He is my favorite character of the MCU and it makes me so sick to my stomach to see what Kevin Feige and team have allowed Taika Waititi to do to him. Ragnarok was not the epic that it should've been, but it was tolerable once the Russo Brothers fixed the problems plaguing the character from that film. The character was ripped away from progress by Taika and tossed back into his "finding myself" story AGAIN when he already knew who he was! The constant usage of many OUTDATED memes including the stupid screaming goats, was so painful to witness. There was no sense of danger, no sense of compassion, no sense of urgency from any of the heroes. Jane Foster was given a story that could've been so heart wrenching, but it was met with god awful humor and didn't give the powerhouse dramatic actor that Natalie Portman is, anything to work with. Christian Bale was the best part of the film and he only got to shine in maybe 3 scenes that truly defined what this film should've been. This was an SNL sketch that was stretched too far and completely destroys any hope of saving the titular character for the future. When the news came that Taika wasn't gonna do anymore of these films, I rejoiced even though the massive damage had already been done. I truly and deeply hate this dog shit of a movie and in my opinion, it currently holds the number 1 spot of being the worst MCU film ever made.

And there it is ladies and gents! That is my list of the shiniest turds Hollywood crapped out in 2022. 2023 has already started and I hope that this year brings an even shorter list of stinkers. If you hated these films or liked my thoughts on them, let me know in the comments below. Thanks for reading!

[westerosiqueens]

❝ secrets are worth more than silver and sapphires. ❞ ( for daenerys from loras )

Dany has spent her life as a hostage at the Baratheon court, a symbol for the Usurper, showing off the spoils of war that gave him his stolen crown as the gem of his court, at the mercy of his will, a disgraced former princess now only allowed the title of “lady”, and that only grudgingly. She is a happy young woman, however. The queen despises her, but the king has grown to enjoy her presence, as long as her hair is covered. It helps that Dany is clever, lovely, a good singer, and an absolute cutthroat at cards. 

It’s really no surprise that, despite her cursed name, young men flock to her. Only recently has Ser Loras Tyrell begun to show her any attention, and she has allowed some in return - strictly of the courtly variety, of course. She likes him, though; he is easy on the eyes, and he has an attractive confidence Dany admires. And has a pretty, clever sister who speaks well of him, which gives him a leg up in Dany’s affections.

“And what secrets do you propose to tell me, Ser Loras?” she asks, violet eyes sparkling with anticipation. They are next to the fountain in the garden. Even if they are being watched - Dany is always being watched - it will be hard to hear whatever Loras is about to divulge.

[kamreadsandrecs]

Title: The Bright Sword

Author: Lev Grossman

Genre/s: mythology and folklore, historical

Content/Trigger Warning/s: mentions of rape; depictions of physical and emotional abuse of children and adults; depictions of the brutality of medieval battles and their after-effects; depictions of nearly drowning and being buried alive

Summary (from author's website): A gifted young knight named Collum arrives at Camelot to compete for a spot on the Round Table, only to find that he’s too late. King Arthur is dead, and only a handful of the knights of the Round Table survive.

They aren’t the heroes of legend, like Lancelot or Gawain. They’re the oddballs of the Round Table, from the edges of the stories, like Sir Palomides, the Saracen Knight, and Sir Dagonet, Arthur’s fool, who was knighted as a joke. They’re joined by Nimue, who was Merlin’s apprentice until she buried him under a hill.

Together this ragtag fellowship will set out to rebuild Camelot in a world that has lost its balance, even as the fairies and old gods are returning, led by Arthur’s half-sister Morgan le Fay, and rival factions are forming around the disgraced Lancelot and the fallen Queen Guinevere. It is up to Collum and his companions to reclaim Excalibur, solve the mysteries of this ruined world and make it whole again. But first they’ll have to learn the truth of why the lonely, brilliant King Arthur fell.

The first major Arthurian epic of the new millennium, The Bright Sword is steeped in tradition, full of duels and quests, battles and tournaments, magic swords and Fisher Kings. It’s a story about imperfect men and women, full of strength and pain, who are looking for a way to reforge a broken land in spite of being broken themselves.

Buy Here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-bright-sword-a-novel-of-king-arthur-lev-grossman/20856403

Spoiler-Free Review: This is a heartbreaker of a book and make no mistake, but also a GEM of a book in its own right. There is both light and dark contained herein, and it all comes together to make something absolutely beautiful, and absolutely bittersweet.

So, first things first: you do not need to be completely familiar with the Arthurian Cycle to understand this story. As long as one knows the broad strokes of the story about King Arthur and the Knights of the Round, the reader will have no problems keeping up.

What DOES matter when reading this book, though, is picking up the themes that Grossman lays down in throughout the novel. There’s quite a few one could pick up, but after some back-and-form with a close friend via messages, I’ve concluded, as she did, that the main theme is that of cycles: of old to new and back again, of faith, and of people. The groundwork for this is laid in the novel’s first chapters, when the protagonist, Collum, observes how successive waves of occupants changed and shaped the landscape of Britain, each one leaving their mark on the land and its inhabitants. He also brings up the concept of a “golden age”: notably, he observes that “golden ages” all come to an end. That bit’s important because, as the reader knows (but Collum doesn’t), King Arthur is already dead.

Tied into that theme is the conflict between Christianity and the pagan faiths of Britain. This is a theme that’s frequently been picked up in other adaptations of the Arthurian cycle, but oftentimes, in those adaptations, one is held up as better than the other. In this novel, though, it’s made pretty clear that returning to the old ways is neither better nor worse than accepting Christianity - mostly because, in the end, it all depends on the people running the show. After all, terrible things have been done in the name of God, just as there have been good things done in the name of the old gods.

Speaking of people running the show, this book also offers a lovely and incredibly human portrait of Arthur himself. I know that this is something a lot of other books, movies, and even TV shows have attempted to do, but this novel’s take on Arthur is such an excellent balance between a legendary hero and a flawed human being. He’s a genuinely good person, and wants the best for the people around him and for his country, and he works HARD to make that so, but he is still human, and therefore is prone to doubts and mistakes. This is King Arthur with impostor syndrome, and it makes him a wonderful character to read about.

While Arthur is certainly important in this novel, the other characters are definitely just as important, if not more so. After all, it is through their eyes that the reader comes to understand Camelot and Arthur himself, and it is through their actions that the fate of Britain is decided. And, just like Arthur, they are all wonderfully, poignantly human while also being pretty damn heroic, especially since most of them have faced rather tough odds before and during their tenure as Knights of the Round Table.

Which leads into the second important theme of this novel, which is another thing my good friend and I circled back to repeatedly over messages: breaking cycles is vitally important for moving forward. This is showcased most prominently in the novel’s overall plot, which follows the protagonist Collum has he helps determine Britain’s future, but it’s also present in the story arcs of the other characters - including the antagonists. Like Collum, they are all caught up in a cycle, whether that is their internal struggle with their gender or sexuality; finding their place in the world at large; or a history of abuse. And to be able to move forward, to avoid getting stuck in a rut, they have to break that cycle and move forward - or find themselves doing more harm than good. It’s difficult to illustrate this well without going into some very big spoilers, but suffice to say that this is a very important theme and plays into this novel’s climax.

Because that’s another thing that the novel focuses on and spends a lot of time trying to get across: all golden ages must one day come to an end, and everyone must move on and keep on living. Time and time again the novel talks about how the age of miracles has ended, and how Britain’s inhabitants must deal with the aftermath. What does one do when one must live in the shadow of a golden age, watching the world move on and slowly forgetting the greatness that once lived in it? What does it mean to have lived through a time when it seemed like all things good and great were possible, only to come to the end of that time with nothing ahead but something lesser? That part really got to me, because we all hope that things will get better in our lifetimes, and we all try to do SOMETHING to make things better while we’re still alive, but what if the chance to do so has long since passed? What’s the point of struggling? What’s the point of living?

And this book says: that’s it - living is the point. One lives, and keeps on going, changing as one needs to, because to give up is to choose stasis, and that just doesn’t work out well for oneself or for anyone. Change is never painless, of course, and it can be sad and terrible and dark, but it is necessary regardless. But what we can do is choose HOW we rise to change, HOW we move with it. We cannot stop change, or make it happen faster, but we CAN choose how we act when it arrives.

Overall this is a beautiful, wonderful book: an interesting take on the Arthurian cycle that is familiar with its origins, but still manages to put a new spin on the legends instead of retelling them. There is a bittersweetness to this novel that will resonate with a lot of readers, and will likely leave them thinking about the story long after they’ve put the book down.

Rating: five grails

[getmemymicroscope]

What?! ... I honestly can't tell what's worse: the name (round 'D' corner? huh?!) or the actual story.

I mean, I guess the title tells you it all - dhokha. Everyone is lying and, arguably, the one person who does the least lying also ends up being the one who suffers the most (well, unless that gunshot led to a slow death, but that doesn't seem to be the case because death has already occurred by the time we enter the room).

But like, essentially every single person in this story is completely despicable and an absolute disgrace to humanity. I feel like they were going for some introspective 'people are shit' thing with window-dressing about some extremes, but really, it is that window-dressing that is unnecessarily frustrating. It takes a simple-ish story and puts it on too large of a scale for it's own good.

None of the characters, really, are much in terms of sympathetic (maybe Aparshakti?). None of the characters are really believable. None of them are worth rooting for. Even Aparshakti's character, once you learn his backstory, cycles between sympathetic and 'what the fuck is wrong with your brain' as he constantly falls for the false charms of someone who is being held hostage. Like, even her initial betrayal doesn't stop him from making the same mistake again.

Madhavan's character is an ass. Darshan Kumar's character also ends up being an ass. Khushali Kumar's character too. Like, there's so many better ways to tell a story that ends with the moral of "don't trust people" or "people are corrupt" or "people suck" that don't involve this much pointless window-dressing or this much extraneous nonsense.

With the ending, you may wonder if they were going for a sort of black comedy where our 'protagonist' (is he that?) gets the short end of the stick, but if they were, they forgot the comedy. The flashbacks at the end were necessary to let us understand what in the hell we had just watched unfold, but it doesn't really make you like the story or the characters any more. In fact, if anything, you just hate them all more after that.

That everyone involved in this has ulterior motives, and is unknowingly connected with each other, is absolutely ridiculous - and a trope that movies seem to inexplicably love keep using. Not everything needs to be a nine-part Star Wars-type "everything is in the family" story. You can have random characters that don't have deep connections with everyone else involved. That won't kill the movie. In fact, if anything, it might add the one thing that a lot of these movies need - a sense of dissociation that allows a character to become sympathetic for the viewers.

She somehow, by the end, has intentionally or not placed 3 men against each other, unbeknownst to each of them. What's actually up with her, we never know. One man says she's insane, and is drugging her to prove this. Another had an affair, but now wants her dead because she's threatening to call it rape if he doesn't leave the country with her. Another shows up, almost as if by chance (it's not) and she, in the span of the few hours, also sleeps with him, convinces him to run away with her, betrays him, convinces him to run away with her again (both times, he proposes it after falling under her spell). And yet, in the end, she's the one that ends up dead while the two worst of the men get exactly what they wanted - and they get a scapegoat to take the blame as well.

And those fucking newspeople - they're the absolute worst of all of them.

[loveanoutcast]

ok but I read games and I am ADDICTED and I just thought I could maybe request something like-

Eren meeting the reader through a simple comment and a timeskip to them being v close until they eventually end up in a fight because reader was ranting to eren about how perfect their crush (who is actually eren) is and him just exploding and them getting into a fight until the reader eventually goes "that person is you, dumbass!" Or smth like that and from there it all just turns into a lot of kisses and smut👀

only if you're comfy/in the mood of writing smth like this tho! just had this random thought last night and thought I'd request a little erenxfembodiedreader

Anyway have a nice day, night, afternoon, morning, you're amazing :D

Oh my gosh, this is my first request ever and I am so incredibly excited to write this and I really hope I did good in writing something you would want. Thank you so much for submitting this request, please feel free to send more! I love writing fanfics of any aot character and will do my absolute best to embody them in these. Sorry for the long wait, when I say the last chapter had me all the way FUCK3D up. EreMika is canon and I haven't been able to stop saying "He loved her, oh my god he loved her" in that "and they were roommates" vine way because that's my coping mechanism and it's cheaper than therapy. Anyway, I give you-

"Assumptions."

Pairing: Eren Yeager x Fem!reader

TW: nsfw, smut, angst, jealously, swearing, yelling, a bit of fluff, unprotected intercourse, breeding kink, a bit of voyeurism, a bit of sexism, eren being denser than a rock, Levi having health issues because he's old

Other: aot world if the mess of season four never happened and eren didn't fall to sad bitch hours, reader is a regular girl with family issues, all characters are over 18, Erwin never died and Floch never went insane

It wasn't that Eren hated going into town, but he wasn't exactly used to going to town alone. He always had Mikasa and Armin flanking either side of him but since the discovery of the world outside the walls and the decreased threat of titans, scouts were needed more than ever in the recovery of the lost districts. Mikasa was the second strongest soldier alive and Armin was expected to take after Erwin. Eren was useful when it came to being the one who possessed the attack and founder titan, but lately there was no big threats that required his titan abilities.

That didn't stop Hange from poking him, nor did it stop Captain Levi from keeping him busy with even the most minimalist of tasks. Today was no different and when the options were given to him and Jean, who was still asleep in his bunker, on shoveling horse shit or going into town to stock up on supplies and check to ensure all market suppliers weren't being capitalist pigs to the local vendors, Eren all but hauled ass through the door, hand swiping the grocery list off the table and yelling, "Good luck Jean-boy!"

Everything seemed to be going just fine, none of the local vendors had any troubles and most seemed happier with the drastic improvements of the living situations for Eldians. The fear of being eaten any day now or losing a loved one to war had seemed to be the driving force that had led to problems before. Some people recognized Eren, but no one seemed to want to approach him. He had had encounters with people who thought of him as a god, but he usually ignored them or kept a level-headed composure. Despite knowing that he had a power no one else had, outside of being a titan-shifter, Eren didn't really know what he had to offer. Armin was smart, Mikasa was strong, and he couldn't exactly claim titan-shifter seeing that Armin was also the colossal and Ymir had been the jaw.

He let out a sigh, kicking a rock in his path and silently yearning for something beyond his knowledge. Despite knowing that he was never really alone, he felt lonely a lot of the time. He had never given much thought to settling down, with the clock running out on him he often thought what was even the point? He wasn't sure if he wanted to keep being a soldier or if he wanted to go back home one day, he didn't really try to dwell on the future, content with being in the present and having Mikasa always on the verge of tears when she was reminded that he would one day die, didn't really give him room to think of much else.

You weren't oblivious to the tales and rumors that went around the town about the scouts and their secret weapon in the form of a shapeshifting man and how him and his comrades were able to plug the hole in the wall of a district your family had come from long ago. Your father had long since escaped the walls of Maria before it fell, he made an honest living being a construction man, and your mother was a nurse who happened to catch his eye when he had a roofing accident. They built a life for themselves within Wall Rose. You weren't the richest family, nor did you have a name that was well known. Nonetheless, you were all hard working. Your brothers worked for the respect they got, one being a weapon maker and the other being a bar keeper was enough for the part of town you were in. Even their wives did well for themselves in being a seamstress and bar waitress. As the youngest, you were loved and cared for. You weren't the most beautiful girl in town, but you turned heads nonetheless, well until one of your brothers decided to glare or promptly hit whoever doted on you too long for their liking.

The people who knew you, thought you were trouble. Mostly the elders spewed of you and your ways of thinking being a disgrace to everything Eldians stood for and bringing only shame to your gender, you were a woman ahead of her time and they couldn't stand it. Like your mother you had entered the medical field, but even when you were small you claimed you would be a doctor one day. You shadowed and worked under the supervision of the town's doctors. Many amused at your antics, some who didn't care about you being a girl and just grateful to leave such responsibility on someone who was genuine in the intent, and others not caring one way or another and not willing to hear your screeching pleads to observe what they did. Your mom had spoken with you more than once about settling with being a doctor's aide, today being no different and you let out a sigh as you looked to your mother's pained expression.

"I just don't understand why you insist on making your life so difficult? It was bad enough when you proudly exclaimed your goals in front of the entire church, but now this?"

You could only look away, looking towards the fields where you saw your third brother grooming the horses. You hadn't said anything bad, you were approached with a job offer that would give you the title and respect you had been desperately craving, and it would bring greater honor to your family...or so you thought before your mother reacted the opposite in which you hoped.

"I will not have any daughter of mine chasing dreams and fantasies off in some other place where no one can protect you. This is a suicide mission and I for one will not stand by and watch you march forward to your downfall."

Your father stood behind your mother, not really saying anything and not even looking at you. You felt especially bad for the commander and captain who stood on either side of you and were bearing witness to the absurd exchange between your family.

"Mrs. Y/L/N, you have to know that if Y/N were to accept this offer, she would never be in the front lines. We have bases located all throughout the walls and she would do what she did best and be our primary doctor." Commander Erwin spoke with such calm words, his demeanor kind and patient.

"So you expect me to let her run off with a bunch of men whose brains are broken from the wars they fought and not worry? She is not even married!"

You grit your teeth so hard upon hearing that, you were sick of the standards put forth on you since your birth. You were sick of the expectations you were in no hurry to reach and you were especially tired of the lack of faith your family had in you to be independent and strong. Your fists clenched and you felt a steady gaze on you.

"I'm not an expert or anything on parenting, nor will I act as if I am, but instead of yelling at her, why don't you try asking your daughter what she wants to do?" You didn't silence the gasp you released, looking at Captain Levi in confusion and admiration.

All eyes turned to you, your mother crossing her arms as if asking you to try and defy her. Erwin looked a bit expectedly and Levi looking indifferent to the entire conversation. It was your father who beat you to it before you could even open your mouth to answer.

"You have a choice, my daughter. If you choose to stay, you'll make your mother and brothers happy. You can continue to help people but you will never be acknowledged as a doctor...but you'll have your family. Or you can choose to leave and live your life to your own accord, but you will lose the respect of the town and your mother will never speak to you again. Are you willing to put yourself above your family?" You expected this from your father, always neutral and never judgmental, what he was saying was true after all. Were you willing to lose your family over your dreams? Would you be able to survive on your own with only the scouts to rely on?

Your head was hurting and your frustration only grew when your brothers decided to come home and after your mother wailing at them about your plans to leave, they were quick to overwhelm you with their own opinions. The commander and captain apologized but they had to leave and return to headquarters.

"Take your time on making your decision. We will come back in a few days for your answer." Commander Erwin told you, giving you a smile as he continued, "I know its a lot to ask you to choose us over your flesh and blood, but if you do. You have my promise that we will protect you, and we may never be able to fully replace your family in your heart, but the scouts will be a family on its own for you."

"Tch," Captain Levi shook his head, "Look brat, you will see and do things that you won't always like. People will die no matter how hard you try to save them, but call Erwin and Hange delusional--they see something in you. Don't walk into this half-assed, if you choose to be our doctor and you choose to take on the title and everything it carries with it, you have to dedicate your heart."

You only nodded. Two days had passed as you walked through the market, the small basket in your hands carried apples and some citrus fruits. Your mother still wasn't talking to you and your brothers seemingly assumed you wouldn't be leaving, only your father knew how frantic your mind was, and one morning he admitted that he would be delighted to have at least one of his children carry the family name on a military standing. So you had his support.

You even spoke to the animal doctor you had been shadowing for the past few weeks, his eyebrows had rose in an impressed matter and he promptly asked when you would be leaving.

"I haven't made a decision, yet." You said.

"You would be an idiot not to take it." Was all he replied before asking you to give the cattle their medicine.

Idiot, huh? You wondered. You knew deep down he was right. Your mind continued to play in endless loops of thought before you heard a commotion to your right. Turning your head you saw a group of men, their huddling seemed a bit more frantic and it was not until one of them yelled that you noticed one man in particular on his knees.

"Help! Someone call a doctor!"

The man on the floor was bleeding rather profusely and you didn't have time to question what happened before you quickly made way.

"Sir, let me see."

"Hey! Woman don't touch him!"

"Make yourself useful and go get a doctor! What the hell do you think you're doing!"

"I am a doctor." You calmly said, inspecting the gash on his side and seeing the edge of what appeared to be a broken pipe sticking out from the building behind them. The drips if bloods glistening in the sun only confirmed what you thought.

"We were-" The injured man rasped out, "Just horsing around."

"It's okay." You reassured, grabbing a roll of gauze and stack of medical napkins you always kept in your basket. You apologized before applying pressure to the wound, and you heard the patter of rushing feet.

"A doctor is on his way! A real one!" One of the men sneered, and you did your best not to roll your eyes and focus on stopping the bleeding. You asked the man to lie on his back and he surprisingly complied, he didn't seem to care about you being a girl and only seemed thankful to not be alone and scared.

"Do you hear that? Move before you kill him!" The first man hollered, the hand on your shoulder causing you to sharply inhale.

"Excuse me for one moment." You told the man, and you were quick as you hand shot up to grip the disrespectful ass by his wrist and twist it in one fluid motion, you wasted no time in using the building wall as leverage, quickly running up and using his weight to stabilize yourself before you roundhouse kicked him so hard it sent both of you flying back. You landed on one foot, balancing yourself before going back to the patient.

You couldn't deny how satisfying it was to hear the impact, or the groan of pain coming from him. Your eyes met the others.

"If any of you touch me, I'll do exactly what I did to your buddy there, but ten times worse. Now shut the hell up and let me save this man."

Eyes widely stared at you as you resumed caring for the injured, a few minutes passed by the time the doctor got there.

"Oh!" His eyebrows rose, "Hello Y/N, didn't expect to see you here. If I would have known, I wouldn't have left the hospital on its own."

"Hi Dr. Goodwin," You looked up, two fingers on the injured man's wrist and the other held up four fingers from your counting. You blushed slightly from his confidence in you and you noticed the men who bullied you all sport faces of confusion.

"His pulse is stable. I wrapped the wound tightly, but he needs stitches."

"Thank you, miss." The injured man grabbed your hand and you smiled in return.

"Don't mention it."

"Actually, it's Dr. Y/L/N." Dr. Goodwin said, seeing your eyes widen and the smile he gave only made your heart swell that much more.

The doctor nodded, thanking you before asking his helpers to load him to the small gurney they brought. He could only thank you briefly before you waved them off. The other guys had stayed back, eyes wide in disbelief that the doctor not only recognized you, but acknowledged your work.

"Are you a nurse or something?"

"Are you morons deaf? Did you not hear Dr. Goodwin? I'm a doctor too."

The leader seemed to recover from the kick you gave him earlier as his lip curled in an ugly matter, "What kind of sick joke is that? No such thing as a woman doctor."

"Obviously there is if I'm standing right in front of you. Or did my kick knock a few more scews loose?"

Eren was walking buy, noticing the commotion from afar and as a soldier, his instincts to provide help in dire situations kicked in. He elbowed his way to the front. Seeing you standing defiantly in front of five tall muscular men. He stepped forward as the main leader got in your face, but when you shifted your foot, he seemed to coil back. Eren noticed a giant welt on one side of his face and wondered how the hell he got such an ugly bruise. It didn't stop their onslaught.

"Who the hell do you think you are? What makes you think you could do whatever the fuck you want?"

"Because in this world, I'm free to do whatever the fuck I please." Eren watched as your eyes narrowed in further defiance, the smile on your face sickeningly sweet and all he could think about was how he had never seen such a woman.

You hadn't even noticed the audience that gathered, you side stepped the group of men, going as far as waving a goodbye with a breathy giggle, you picked up your basket. You had a small hop to your step and despite not caring to even spare a glance to the onlookers, your eyes met a pair of pretty green ones. The prominent bone structure made you think, "Wow."

However, the tall muscular body you did a once over on had you follow that thought with, "Oh damn."

Eren seemed dumbfounded, your obviousness in checking him out made him flush. He had never felt self-conscious over his body. He knew even before he hit puberty that he would do well to grow muscles and abs, the necessary type of figure to have if one were to be a soldier of the scouts. He knew it was also something some females found attractive in the opposite sex but it's not like he ever had time to date much less dwell on what girls liked. Seeing the way you looked at him though, he couldn't deny that he silently hoped for your approval.

When you finally met his eyes once more, you had him floored when he saw you drop a wink at him.

The crowd murmuring as they watched you go made his own eyebrows furrow in confusion. He stepped to one of the members and demanded an explanation.

"Honestly, the little lady was crazy! She came in here claiming to be a doctor and helped patch up a guy who got cut by the pipe over there. Instead of waiting for a real doctor, she made a whole fuss."

"Where's the guy?"

"Dr. Goodwin picked him up. That doctor is mad too, he also said she was a doctor, but that's ridiculous. No woman can be a doctor. That's so many levels of wrong."

Eren felt the urge to punch the man in the mouth, but one glance at the ugly bruise his friend sported reminded him,

"What happened to your face?"

The leader grumbled a bunch of profanities, "That little bitch. I tried to get her off before she messed the guy up anymore and she kicked me."

"In your face?" Eren sounded impressed, and he was when he received a nod of confirmation.

He looked to the direction which you disappeared in and said fine words to the group, "Whether you men like it or not. The world is changing, everyone is free to be who they want. If women can join the military no problem, they can be doctors too."

He saluted before rushing off, not hearing the mutters of annoyance from the men. In all honestly, Eren had no clue on what he was doing.

You were scrubbing off the blood from under your fingernails near a fountain when you hear the shuffle of feet from behind you. You silently hoped it wasn't any of those morons asking for more trouble, but you were pleasantly surprised when your eyes met a pair of green ones from before.

"I'm Eren." You smiled at him, nodding and your smile turned quirked when he stuttered in, "Yeager. Eren Yeager."

Hmm, you had thought, His name suits him. You studied his demeanor, not missing the gear strapped to either sides of his hips or the green hood covering his shoulders. You knew immediately that he was a scout and you wondered if he knew Captain Levi. Before you got the courage to ask him, he beat you to it.

"What did you mean by what you said earlier? Do you really think that? That we're all free to do anything we want here?"

You smiled as you nodded, walking towards a vendors stand and Eren fell into step beside you, you felt nervous around him, but also safe with his company. He watched you as you picked up another apple to inspect.

"We have laws and rules though...so we're not technically all the way free?"

"I'm free to be me, just as you are free to be you...Eren...Yeager."

It was the way the sun hit your face in that moment, highlighting your strong cheekbones and giving a special glint in your eyes that made Eren want to hear your thoughts more. He spent the rest of the day asking you questions, never satisfied with the small responses you gave him and he even walked you home. The mean glare from your mother confused him beyond belief and it was your father's words that made you gasp in surprise that night.

"He's the titan shifter, the one who helped plug up wall Rose."

Your face had turned red in embarrassment, you were talking so casually to a literal titan and you even flirted with him. He even held your basket the entire trip to your house and you didn't even consider how informal you acted with your skirt. You had hitched one of them up your thigh to get better footing and hadn't missed the way Eren blushed at seeing so much skin. You knew the girls in the scouts wore pants, but even then they kept covered.

You were certain Eren wanted nothing else to do with a girl who held little to no morals, but you were caught by pleasant surprise when you saw him with Erwin and Levi the next day in town.

His eyes had immediately found yours and you didn't miss the blush on his cheeks as he gave you a small wave. You couldn't but laugh when Captain Levi suddenly kicked him.

"Who's got you turning red brat?"

"Uh-it's nothing, captain."

He didn't look convinced as you gathered the courage to approach. Erwin acknowledged your presence which Eren was grateful for, but his eyebrows still came down in confusion on how the commander knew your name.

"Y/N!" Erwin gave a polite smile which you returned, "So great to see you. We were actually just about to stop by your house."

"Really? What a coincidence, I was hoping to stop by headquarters today as well." Your smile was bright, and by the way the air around you seemed cheerful, Erwin returned your energy.

"Bearing good news I hope?" He still hesitantly asked.

You nodded as you laughed, "I would love to accept the offer if it still stands."

"Of course it does," Captain Levi scoffed, his arms were folded across his chest. You noted for the first time the soft grey color of his eyes and despite the deep scowl he was currently showing, he had chubby cheeks that made you want to squish, "We wouldn't be coming all this way for nothing."

"I thought we were coming to collect a new scout, Captain Levi." Eren asked, you felt yourself blush in realization that he had no clue it was actually you they were referring to.

"We are," Levi grabbed you by your arm and yanked you towards him as he pointed at you while looking at Eren like he was an idiot, "Meet the scout's new doctor. Dr. Y/L/N meet Eren-"

"Yeager." You finished, smiling towards Eren, "We've met."

Erwin and Levi exchanged looks as they watched you and Eren smiled at each other like a pair of idiots, the realization dawning over them and Erwin couldn't fight the smirk that crossed his face. Small world, he thought.

Six months had passed since the first fateful encounter you had with Eren. You had long since moved out of your home and besides the occasional secret letter from your father, you hadn't heard nor seen the rest of your family since your decision to become a doctor for the scouts.

It was a transition to go through as you lost one family and gained a new one, but everyone was so accepting and welcoming. The girls welcomed you with open arms, most notably was Sasha whose habit of eating everything and anything brought her to the infirmary on more than one occasion, Connie usually followed right behind her with a minor injury resulting from his carelessness. You had met Floch when he brought Jean in from a sparring session gone wrong and he immediately took a liking to you. Your level-headedness was like a breath of fresh air to him as he was constantly sorrounded by people he thought were idiots. Jean liked your confidence (The fact that you were easy on the eyes, didn't hurt either), Mikasa respected the way you didn't hesitate to put people in their place, and Armin admired that despite your obvious toughness, you were a kind and patient doctor who never turned anyone away. You were diligent and hard-working, yet your smile was always able to uplift any sour mood and you always put your best foot forward. The one time he had puked all over your hospital floor from eating too much undercooked meat was embarrassing for him, he thought for sure you were going to be angry and call him an idiot. Instead, you took his temperature, put a cold cloth on his head (despite his titan status guaranteeing a speedy recovery), and started a healthier diet plan for him. Armin was scheduled a weekly checkup with you, partly to ensure he was listening and partly for you to study him a bit more. Your research on the titan's ability to regenerate and recover from even the worst injuries was fascinating for you, you hoped to isolate the genes and figure out a way to maybe trigger it in regular Eldians without setting off the titan ability, the fact that Eren made it a habit to accompany Armin didn't hurt either.

Eren had grown attached to you, whenever he wasn't busy or in need of a place to hide from Captain Levi's wrath or Hange's insistence to poke and prod him, he would be hanging out around you or in your office. At one point you had to hide him under your desk when Commander Erwin stopped by to hold a meeting with you about providing first aid training to the scouts for excursions. You were always welcomed to accompany them outside the walls, but your work was enough to make you stay. You recalled the way Eren was pressed against your legs, the feel of his hands steadying himself on your calves and when your skirt had shifted up when you reached for one of the records, you felt Eren brush his fingertips along the muscle. You had stammered the rest of the meeting through and smacked him afterwards for putting you in such a compromising position. You were blushing furiously at the way he gave such a boyish grin and even that night while he walked you to your small cottage, he had a satisfied smile in place.

You always knew you liked Eren, you were also hopeful that the feeling was mutual. The both of you had grown close over the course of your stay, as the head doctor you were given your own living quarters, not too far from headquarters but not so close to the city that you would be given a hard time. Your cottage was fair in size and with the amount of income you were receiving, you were quick to furnish and decorate it to your liking. Eren had even helped by adding his own touches to the interior. The times you would go to the city with him was always met with many curious stares. Your age and gender made many turn heads when you walked in, the fact that you were the youngest and by far prettiest doctor the scouts had ever had made people naturally gravitate to you. Your ability to make friends quickly also made it that almost every weekend you were entertaining guests at your house. Sometimes it would be dinner with Sasha, Niccolo, and Connie. Other times you would be knitting and embroidering with Mikasa and Armin, there was even game nights with everyone until Jean and Eren became too competitive with one another. Other times when the higher ups had meetings (All of which you had to attend since you technically held an officer position within the military branch) you would offer your house where you all shared cups of tea and your famous baked goods. You had even seen Captain Levi grab seconds on your sugar cookies.

It was the times when Eren would swing by alone that caused your heart to flutter, he would walk you home almost every night now. At first he would find the poorest excuses to see you like needing a bandaid for his wrist from the biting (even though by the time you gave him the gauze it would be healed over completely) or try to "casually" be around the area when you would get out at three in the morning. Eventually your amusement turned to you asking him to walk you home every night under the guise that you were afraid of being targeted or hurt, even though everyone had seen you body-slam Reiner the one time he tried to hit on you when you were stitching up his eyebrow from an ugly gash. Nonetheless, Eren accepted. You would invite him in for tea every time and he would even bring you lunch on days he failed to see you in the cafeteria. It seemed like everyone under the sun knew about you and Eren's crushes on one another, so it was also a pain in the ass that neither of you had yet to make a move on one another. Even Erwin had assumed you two were together the one morning he stopped by your house on your day off to ask for your aid for a soldier who had broken their arm from a training exercise, his eyes had grown wide upon seeing you open the door in only your nightgown, you were rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you invited him in for breakfast.

Upon walking in, he immediately saw Eren exiting your bathroom in his casual jeans, his hair was wet and sticking up from the steam of the shower. Eren wasn't wearing a shirt and before Erwin could excuse himself completely you quickly explained how you hadn't wanted him to walk outside so late so he slept on your couch. You were washing his clothes and had left them out to dry and Erwin could only nod and stop himself from suggesting for Eren to bring spare clothes to yours, remembering that it wasn't his place to push or even encourage his team's doctor and titan-shifter to date even though by the way he saw you put jelly on Eren's toast while he made your cup of tea with three sugars was enough for him to almost just order the two of you to date. Instead, he gave a long rant to Levi, wondering aloud whether Eren was either oblivious to your affections or just an idiot, Levi only replied with, "Did you happen to bring any of the toast she made?"...he did and Levi later on answered, "He's just an idiot." while licking the excess jelly off his fingers.

It was another day at headquarters, the mid-summer day was hot and since the flow of traffic had been slow inside the infirmary, you found yourself mostly in the officer's lounge. You had opted to wear a long sleeve empire waist dress, the top had ruffles along your collar and the soft pink of the dress complimented your skin tone. It fell around mid-thigh and the black shoes you wore with them completed your overall look. Eren had stared at your bare legs for a while until he noted your haircut. You had only cut off the ends but your heart did a flip as you blushed from him noticing. You had been chatting with Hange about your research while Moblit spoke to Eren about the new set of routes to be taken during their next trip beyond the walls when Captain Levi walked in. Hange waved him over and he fell easily beside you.

"Hey." His arm brushing against yours and you hummed in response, leaning a bit towards him which didn't go unnoticed by Eren.

"Levi, did you take your medicine this morning?" About two weeks ago you had caught the captain asleep at his desk for the fourth time. You knew he overworked himself and refused to sleep in his bed no matter how many therapeutic pillows you got him, but while he was out like a light you decided to check his blood pressure, only to find it alarmingly high. You figured the amount of stress and cups of caffeinated tea were to blame. Levi kept in good shape, but considering his age and the fact that he never even considers laughing, you prescribed him medications to be take every morning and cut him off from his usual tea leaves. The former was easier to push as the calcium and magnesium capsules were easy to swallow, it was getting rid of all the tins in his desk that made him a bit unbearable to the new recruits.

He let out an annoyed grunt as he nodded. Your smile was soft as you put an encouraging hand on his arm and Eren was officially not listening to Moblit anymore.

"Thanks for sticking to your diet, Captain Levi. As a token of my appreciation, I got you these." You didn't let him reply, quick to act as always as you reached into the small basket you had brought and grabbed his hand to put the gray tin of loose leaves that you took out in his palm.

As usual, the captain was unfazed by your lack of appreciation for personal space. The past few weeks had done well to teach him how despite being yelled at, threatened, and even outright ignored at times, your cheeriness was impossible to diminish and you did whatever the heck you wanted even when it was at times impulsive.

"What is it?" He looked between you and the tin, the slight sneer on his upper lip making you release a giggle before you tapped the bow you tied on it.

"It's tea leaves." He raised a slim eyebrow which made you roll your eyes, "Decaffeinated tea."

"Let me guess, it tastes like shit." His eyes flickered to the purple bow, "Or it'll make me shit."

You laughed, you upper body leaning on his as you attempted to catch your breath. The joke wasn't that funny but the face he made was. You giggled as you shook your head and Hange watched in bemusement as you elaborated,

"It's the tea I always serve and judging by the three cups you had last time, I'm positive you'll like it."

Levi let out a nod, he hadn't even noticed that the tea you served had no caffeine but the heavy notes of honey in it probably explained its sweetness. He gave a quiet thank you before his scowl returned,

"So that's why I was on the crapper all night after the last meeting."

"With a potty mouth like that, it's not wonder you don't have a girlfriend." You deadpanned.

"I feel bad for the poor bastard who falls in love with you."

You let out a small tsk, smiling at him and hoping Eren heard as you said, "Well that depends if he admits he feels the same way."

Captain Levi quirked an eyebrow at you, his eyes knowing and you blushed under his stare. Your fingers fiddling behind your back and Eren hated the way Levi suddenly chuckled at you. His smile was a rarity and to have him giving it to you only meant one thing to Eren; the captain liked you.

"So there is someone you like? Who's the poor brat?"

When you were about to make another snide remark, Hange cut in and excused herself and Moblit.

"As fascinating as this is, there's a captured titan waiting my arrival and if I don't get to use this research Dr. Y/L/N just gave me before nightfall, I will lose my mind."

"I hadn't heard of us ever finding it to begin with." Levi sighed, taking a lock of your hair between his fingers and letting the curl bounce back before he excused himself to tag along with them.

"Someone's got to make sure four eyes doesn't get killed."

"That's why Moblit is going with her." You noted.

"And who do you think will make sure Moblit doesn't get killed?" He smiled once more, "Laters doc."

You waved goodbye to the three, the door clicking behind them and you turned to see Eren with his arms crossed. He was pouting like a child and you wondered what his deal was. You figured with your earlier comment, he would be over the moon to hear you hinting at liking him. You skipped up to him, getting on the tips of your toes as you poked his cheek.

"What's the matter? You look like a scolded child."

"Nothing." He muttered, looking away as his jaw clenched and you only poked him once more.

"Liar." You called him out, "Talk to me."

"You didn't answer Captain Levi's question."

You were sure that there was a giant question mark on top of your head, the gear in your mind shifting as you tried to recall what the captain asked before your mouth opened in realization. You couldn't help but smile as you looked down at Eren's shoes and he only seemed to grow angrier as he watched you blush.

"About my crush? Oh! Well I wouldn't call him a brat, but I guess his attitude could often warrant that title. He's got this sort of this determined mentality that I guess some people can find...overbearing." You played with the cuff of your dress, "But I personally find it charming."

"So he's charming?"

You hummed as you smiled, "He's a bit rough around the edges, but he always means well. He's easy on the eyes too. Got really nice hair and pretty colored eyes that makes me swoon around him. Not to mention his body looks like Zeus could be his father." To add emphasis, your body leaned side to side as you laughed.

Eren snorted, his eyes rolling as he thought of any guy he knew that was like you described. All he could think of was Captain Levi and Erwin. He hated to think of Levi as charming, but he was rough all around. Erwin had eyes that Historia had once described as pretty, but to think of you being attracted to someone as old as him made his stomach flip.

"Want to head back to my office?" You suggested, not wanting to leave Eren's side until he figured it out but also not wanting to stick around in case other officers walked in. You got a stiff nod and wanted to giggle when Eren still opened the door for you. As the both of you walked through the large building, you added a hop to your step as you continued,

"He's also such a gentleman. He respects me, he's never intimidated by my sharp wit, always opens doors for me, waits until I'm sitting before he starts eating, and he almost seems proud of me being a doctor. He's just so understanding and sure of himself as a man that I guess the idea of having a girlfriend in my position would never make him feel inferior." You turned to look at Eren sideways and noticed his shoulders hunched, you knew it was cruel how you kept teasing him but were hopeful that it would click for him soon, so you went on.

"Wow, sounds like a real keeper." He grumbled, now thinking of Jean or even Connie. Armin was too occupied with Annie and Reiner was too obsessed with Historia to hang around you. There was no way Beruto/Borrito/Bertoto would catch your eye as you had made it a point to always get his name wrong, but Connie made you laugh and Jean was always extra nice to you.

"I'm telling you, I think he's perfect. He's dependable, strong, and we share so many of the same ideas. I could talk to him for hours and never be bored and when I'm not with him, I feel...sad. I just constantly want to be by his side and if I'm not I want him to be thinking about me because that's exactly what I do."

You both entered your office, you walked up to your desk as you spoke, turning around and leaning against it to look at Eren. He had closed your door a little harder than necessary, the wood shaking against the frame as he crossed his arms and leaned his back on the door. He looked downright irritated and you bit your lip to keep from laughing.

"So why haven't you told him?"

You shrugged, "I think I've been pretty obvious about it, I'm always smiling when he's in the room, I always want to be with him, there's never a day where we don't walk together. I even wore this dress for him today."

You waved down at your figure, Eren's eyes looked over you twice and you jumped up on your desk, your thighs parting as you let the short skirt cover your panties and barely cover the tops of your thighs.

"I'm sure he'll love it." Eren spit out.

"I don't know..." You tilted your head, "Do you?"

Eren pushed himself off the door, going to your bookcase and letting his fingers brush the spines of the books, "It doesn't matter what I think. I'm not Mr. Pretty eyes. Sounds like a simpleton to me."

You let out an actual deep sigh and Eren met you with furrowed brows.

"What?"

"You're so fucking dense, Eren."

"What did I say?" He threw his hands up, "Just because I called him simple? I'm so sorry I don't care to hear you go on and on about this guy. I never thought I'd see you bend over backwards for some guy who opens doors for you. I thought you would have higher standards than that."

You let out a snort, "Keep talking Yeager, and I just might higher them."

"I mean I never thought looks would be so important to you. It's so-"

"So what?" Your tongue had a sharp edge that did not go unnoticed by Eren. He stood only a few feet from your desk, but you saw the awkward shift in his posture.

"Shallow." He spit out.

"Excuse me?" You gave him a look that said if he wouldn't apologize in the next ten seconds, he would surely live to regret it.

"What I mean is...what guy could possibly have this head over heels and you're just now telling me? I thought...I thought we-" He stopped, looking to the side and you relaxed before saying,

"We what, Eren?"

"I thought we had something special." He muttered. He looked to see your mouth opened in a small gasp and he began to turn to exit when you quietly beckoned him over.

"Eren...come here."

"No, I should g-"

"Please." You begged and the look in your eyes brought him to stand in front of you. Your hands reached for his shirt, yanking him forward and you hooked your legs around his calves. Eren gaped at you, not knowing what to do and say as you put one hand on his shoulder and the other cupped his cheek.

"You are such a dumbass." You laughed, "The person I've been going on and on about, that simpleton you bashed, is you. It's always been you, Eren."

It was like watching a light flicker on very very slowly, but once it was on you watched as embarrassment flooded Eren. His smile was sheepish and stupid as he stuttered over his words. His hands rested on your hips and you stroked his face from his temple to jaw as you asked,

"Do you maybe feel the same way?"

You didn't get a verbal answer, the sudden kiss Eren laid on you was an answer enough. His lips were soft and warm as they moved against your own, his tongue enveloped yours and you felt him lean more onto you. The moan that slipped out his mouth when you bit his bottom lip made something tighten in your stomach.

When you two finally broke apart you didn't miss the trail of saliva that connected the two of you and you whimpered for more. The second kiss was heavier, a clash of teeth and tongues as Eren feverishly wrestled to touch you everywhere his hands could reach. You felt him press against your core, the loud gasp you let out made him look at you in concern.

"Sorry, sorry. I'll stop if you want me to."

You shook your head as you met those green eyes that held you captive since day one, "More. I want more."

The smirk was something you had never seen, his eyes became half-lidded as Eren kissed your nose. Then your chin, then your neck. When he reached your collar, his finger hooked onto the top of your dress, pulling the fabric down as he kissed just above your breast.

"She wants more." He said to himself, the soft rasp in his voice made you attempt to close your legs. His hands pushed what little that had covered your legs up and Eren's fingers brushed your core.

The jump you gave made his smirk grow, "I haven't even touched you yet."

He saw the small patch of dampness on your panties, and before you could ask him what he was doing, you let out a sharp gasp when his fingers pushed the fabric to the side and he plunged two fingers into your pussy.

The moan he ripped from you was like music to his ears and as he began to slowly pump his fingers in and out he watched as your face became hot and red. It was uncomfortable as first, you could even say it hurt but that didn't stop you from rocking your hips up to meet his eager hands. You weren't entirely prepared as you felt a bit tense as Eren kissed your neck, the suckling on your flesh making small breathy whimpers leave your mouth. His other hand's fingers hovered over the buttons on the back of your dress and his eyes asked for permission as he glanced up at you.

A small tentative nod was all he received before he took out his hand from between your legs, his tongue skillfully licking the digits cleaned and you didn't think you would find such an act so erotic. You arm hooked around his neck as you brought him down to a kiss, you could taste yourself on his lips as he kissed you back eagerly, his fingers skillfully working the buttons on your dress and you wondered for a brief moment if he had ever done such an act before. You pushed the thoughts away, not wanting to lose focus or confidence while in the middle of being with Eren by letting unnecessary insecure creep into your heart. As if being able to read your mind, Eren said-

"Stop being in your head," A hard kiss against your lips, "Be here with me."

His nose rubbed sweetly against yours, fingers tilting your head up as you gave a hesitant nod. Your eyes wanted to focus anywhere but his eyes and you could felt warmth spread across your cheeks when the sleeves of your dress fell down your arms. The idea of letting Eren see all of you was as exciting as it was nerve-wrecking, the most he ever saw was your legs and back from that one time you walked out of the bath in only a towel. Seeing him shirtless was not new but you still felt your breath catch in your throat as you watched him yank the material off. Your hands explored the newly exposed skin, fingers dipping in every curve of muscle and your hand rested just above the waistband of his jeans. You noticed his breathing grow heavy, Eren's head falling forward on your exposed shoulder where you felt him nip and suck on the soft flesh. You returned the favor by kissing him on the chest, your eyes still casted downwards as you fumbled with the buckle on his belt, you let out a small curse from how hard your hands were shaking and Eren placed a gentle hand on top of yours, his eyes alight with amusement as his lips curved into a soft smile.

"Baby, relax." He murmured, he pushed your hands aside as he took over the task. You let out a deep breath as you heard the sound of his zipper being tugged down and you decided to be bold. You lowered the upper half of your dress, the cotton falling off your arms with ease and you blushed furiously once you remembered that you hardly ever wore bras and today was no different.

Your nipples were taut as you shivered from the cold air in your office and Eren stared at you in wonder his eyes raking your body as you looked to the side and brought your bottom lip in between your teeth.

"Fuck, can I touch you?" Eren blurted, his hands still near his trousers and you giggled when he added a last second, "Please."

Nodding, you figured it was time to stop feeling so shy. You had been dreaming about this moment for months, yet as the man you loved stood before you, eager to be with you, all you could think about was how scared you were that you wouldn't be enough to satisfy him.

One more glance at the way he watched you was enough for you to think, If he really didn't, he wouldn't be looking at me as if I put all the stars in the sky.

You felt the second wind of confidence hit you and you took Eren by surprise as you hooked your fingers on his belt loops and tugged the fabric down. You palmed him through the thin material of his briefs and his hips jerked from the contact before he melted against you. Lowering the elastic, your small hand wrapped itself around his shaft and you took a moment to admire his dick. It was something new and foreign to you, for a moment you wondered if all male penises looked like that but you pushed that thought aside as you found yourself not really wanting to ever know, as long as Eren's would be the only one you saw. You hand moved up and down, your thumb brushing across his tip as you swiped some of the liquid leaking out to use as lube.

You knew he was a few inches above average, the thickness was also enough to make you worry for a moment whether he would be able to fit in you as his fingers struggling to push inside of you were of any indication of how tight your body was. Either way you were determined to satisfy the both of you, the idea of him using you and watching his face come apart as he milked himself dry using only your pussy had your head feeling fuzzy with want. He rested his head on you, causing your body to lean back and you pressed one palm on your desk behind you and the other jerked him off a bit sloppily. His moans filled the space of your office, you secretly prayed to the gods that the scouts could be smart enough for once to not be injured or to be able to at least handle it themselves and your eyes flickered to the door for a moment.

"Eren," You murmured to the shell of his ear, his heavy breaths fanning across the span of your chest and you felt both your bodies getting hot. "The door, we need to lock the door."

His groan was the only response you got as he trailed kisses up your neck and shoulder, and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes, he was such a guy sometimes. You began to lower yourself from the desk before his hand on your leg suddenly halted your movements and he gave you a lazy smile, his half lidded eyes softly rolling as he let out an obnoxious groan of annoyance.

"I'll do it." He didn't even bother to tuck himself back into his briefs, his dick fully erect as he made way to your door. You felt your hand falling to your side and you bit your lip as you thought about what you wanted to do twice before letting your own hand push the fabric of your underwear to the side once more. You rubbed at your clit lazily as you softly moaned, your eyes closing at the sensation and you smiled when you heard the soft, "Shit." coming from a few feet ahead of you. Eren's eyes were transfixed on you, the way your head rolled back as your moans became louder and higher pitched was making him painfully hard and he wanted-no needed to be inside of you before he was sure he would come right then and there.

Your eyes were still closed when you felt him settle between your legs once more, eyes hazy and smile lazy as you felt him tug your panties down your legs. Your ass lifted briefly to help and you giggled when he grunted in annoyance from having to shuffle backwards to slip them off completely. He laughed with you as his hand cupped you by your jaw, lips finding yours in a tender kiss and the hand that had been rubbing at your clit was used to steady yourself by his shoulder. His muscles flexed under your touch and your breaths intermingled as he stared at you with such an intensity that you felt your stomach flip. You looked down to where he rubbed his length along your folds and gulped.

"I-I'm nervous." You admitted, cheeks blushing and Eren kissed your temple.

"It's okay, I'll take care of you. Do you trust me?" You gasped at the intensity in his eyes, Eren Yeager was one who never beat around the bush and you felt tears pool around your eyes as you nodded. Everything leading up to this moment overwhelmed you suddenly, losing your family, gaining your dream job, becoming independent so quickly, and falling in love with a man who turned into what so many feared but who let you place` flower crowns on his head during tea parties. He continued to maintain eye contact with you, your lips parting and eyes partly closing as he began to push past your labia. It all felt too much, but you wouldn't want to be anywhere else in that exact moment Eren pressed his tip into your passageway. There was a bit of resistance and the guttural moan he released made your eyes widen in an audible gasp, he looked ethereal with reddened cheeks, a slacked opened jaw, eyes that looked close to tears, and thin layer of sweat making his dark brown locks stick to his forehead.

He pushed another inch in, trying his best to not act too quickly or too harshly. All he wanted to do was fucking ruin you. Mark you as his by impregnating you and watching as you took every drop of his semen. It seemed you wanted it too as your hips jerked forward and took in another inch.

"Eren, please." You had no idea what you were asking for, he was being slow and gentle and as much as you appreciated his mindfulness, it had been six long months and if you had to go through another night of humping your pillow or rubbing one out with only fantasies of Eren touching you (Sometimes even Levi, depending on how much alcohol you had consumed) you were gong to scream.

Another inch and a deep chuckle was his response. Your eyes were set ablaze as the realization that he was teasing you.

"Please what baby?"

"Give it to me." You whispered, your hand tugging at his hair harshly and the hiss of pain he released was simultaneous when he completely thrusted his entire length into you. Your thighs jerked at the sudden intrusion and the cry you let out was loud enough that if anybody were nearby, the would have assumed someone struck you. Your hand smacked against his chest, your breath ragged as you attempted to give Eren an angry glance but your pussy betrayed you as it clenched hard around him.

You both released a gasp when Eren fully bottomed out inside you. His hips flush against your parted thighs and your foreheads pressed against one another, lips brushing but not kissing yet as you two came to terms of what was being done. You and Eren were one, there was no going back from what was about to transpire and you silently prayed that he wouldn't regret it later.

"Stop being in your head," He murmured against your mouth, eyes looking into yours, "Be here..."

He gave a heavenly thrust and you felt his arms wrap themselves around your waist as he forced you to fall back onto your desk with a small uff and your hands fell onto his shoulders. Your legs locked around his waist and the new angle caused him to be deeper inside you, but he continued to stare at your with that same admiration from that day he had met you.

"With me."

You nodded slowly, kissing Eren for what felt like the first time. A bit shyly and unsure as your mouth moved against his slowly, you savored the taste of tea and something sweet from his tongue and you let one of your hands hold him by his face as the other found solace in his hair.

Eren began to thrust into you, the rhythm a bit off at first as you two tried to find what worked and when he dipped his hips a little and heard the string of filthy words leaving your mouth, he gave a knowing smirk.

"Hmm, right there princess?"

You panted, your tongue lolling out as his began to go faster. One of your hands shot out to the side to brace yourself on something when Eren began to fuck you harder and instead you turned to see you hand knocked your bottle of ink over, the deep blue liquid was spilling everywhere but before you could let your brain process the mess, Eren began to suck on the flesh of your neck that you exposed when you moved your head. You moaned as you closed your eyes at the overwhelming sensations of it all, your hands grabbing at the muscles in his back and you arched your own and pressed your chest into him.

"Oh fuck," Eren moaned out, "This pussy is so good. You're taking me so well, princess."

"Yeah?" You panted out, "Going to cum in me, baby?"

Eren picked himself up on his forearms, too preoccupied with how pretty your tits looks bouncing with each thrust to notice the your hair was sprawled all over and the upper part of his arm was touching something wet, he figured it was the sweat you two were producing with your coupling.

"I'm gonna get you pregnant, make you mine forever."

"I'm yours!" You screamed as his hips slammed particularly harder down onto your own.

"Choke me, make me a mommy, cum in me, just please don't stop fucking me." You cried out, and a new sort of excitement showed in his eyes, his hand cupped just below your jaw and the light pressure he put on you made you moan louder.

The sounds of skin smacking, panting breaths, and heavy moans filled the air. Eren coaxing you to come all over his dick as you begged him to not pull out of you echoed of the walls of your office. You went on like that for a good while and you giggled in realization that your silent wish for everyone to leave the two of you alone for a while had come true.

Unbeknownst to you two, there had almost been three interruptions. The first being Captain Levi who wanted to ask if mixing his blood pressure medicine with wine would be too dangerous, but when he heard you scream he almost barged in before the unmistakable moan that followed made him fully come to a halt. He didn't even think twice about what was transpiring, briefly remembering that Eren was in fact with you this morning before quickly turning around and hauled ass as far from the hallway as he could. He wasn't sure where he was heading before he stumbled into Erwin's office, the commander looking up to see his captain look like he just ran a marathon.

"Levi? You look like you just saw a ghost?" His eyebrows creased, "Are you okay?"

"Yeager isn't as dense as we thought."

Eren stood to his full height, grabbing at your ankles and moving your legs onto his shoulders to they were fully parallel to his body. You let out another giggle at how your ankles were now on either side of his head, but the small kiss he gave your right one made you let out a noise of adoration. He gripped your hips, smiling as he noted the streaks of something blue all over your chest and neck but decided against telling you as your pussy began to pulsate around him. There was no way in hell he was going to stop you from orgasming.

The second time was Sasha and Connie as they wanted to ask if eating candies with the wrapper still on was anything they needed to worry about, but the sounds of your desk scraping across the floor with Eren commending you for being a good girl and taking him so well made the both of them stare at each other with wide eyes. The "Huh?"'s they exchanged were amusing to anyone else and Sasha grabbed Connie by the collar before they hightailed out of there. Connie wanting to see if Eren had really been capable of pulling you and Sasha calling it bullshit and stating that the real reason was that he wanted to see you naked.

His thrusts became wild and sloppy, the slushing sounds you two were making was the hottest sounds you ever heard. You held onto his wrists, your smile wide and beautiful and Eren knew he wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer.

"I'm not gonna last long," He let you know, you nodded as you reached down to rub your clit in circles.

"Fuck, you look so hot." He blurted, his cheeks a deeper red and you gave him another soft smile.

"Thanks, baby. You too." His abs were going to be the death of you and you hoped you would get the chance to suck him off later to lick them one by one in foreplay.

You felt him begin to twitch in you and you knew you were so close, your rubbing speeding up as Eren's thrusts were becoming more sporadic. The way his eyes began to roll upwards had you chanting,

"I'm-I'm cumming!" Your moan was breathy and high as you felt your release overwhelm your senses, you felt euphoria as you moaned so loud that Jean and Floch who didn't believe Connie when he said that Eren had managed to bed you stared at each other with wide eyes and gaped mouths as they stood outside your door. Their cheeks red as they rushed down the hallway as if their asses were on fire, not even halfway down the stairs when they felt their collars yanked at so harshly they almost trampled down, Captain Levi's glare knowing as he began to reprimand them for being nosy pricks.

Eren's cock dove into you hard and you felt him pulsate as he shot long ropes of cum into you, his essence overflowing as he filled you to the brim and painted your insides white.

His moan was unbelievably loud and low, the "I love you." That followed didn't go unnoticed by you and the smile he gave, made you realize how much he meant it.

"I love you." Your answered back, he pushed your thighs to your chest when he lowered himself to kiss you. His cock softening inside you and he slowed his thrusts down and milked himself dry. He tapped his tip on your sensitive clit, making sure he was empty before tucking himself back into his boxers and jeans. The creampie in you was beginning to ooze out and he used his two fingers to push it back in, your hips bucking at the intrusion and you whined about your sensitivity.

You sat up, your hand going to fix your hair, only groaning slightly when you felt the ink on some strands already drying. You huffed before jumping down and fixing your dress. Eren was putting his shirt back on, his back slightly turned to you and your eyes widened in embarrassment at seeing the blue ink in what was obviously your finger prints streaked all over. You looked down and saw that it had well faded from your hands, transferring to your lover who put on his jacket. You shrugged, figuring no one would see it and you could wash your hands later. Your hair would be a bit tricky to explain but you would be home to shower soon anyway, which reminded you-

"Do you want to stay over tonight?" You blurted, scaring Eren as his eyes widened, you bit the inside of your cheek and fumbled with your fingers.

He smiled, walking up to you and kissing you on the lips before replying, "I would love to. I have to do some work today, and pack an overnight bag but I'll be home by dinner." His eyes looked you over, stifling a laugh when he saw the marks of blue ink on your neck, debating on telling you but not being able to deny how cute they looked on you, a gentle reminder of what happened just moments ago and an odd turn on for him to think of it as him marking you as his, the lovebite also on the side making him watch you with love.

You nodded before giving a follow-up question, "Chicken or fish?"

"Fish." He nodded, you grabbed a few papers from your desk drawer and Eren asked if you were all set before taking your hand into his as the two of you began to walk out the office, you mentioned having to speak to Erwin about the cadet recovering from a broken limb and Eren listened patiently, your hands swinging in between the two of you and you both relished at how easy it felt to transition into a life of domestication together. He walked you to Erwin's office, his knuckles knocking on the door before a loud, "One minute!" replied.

You both shared a look of confusion before shrugging and stepping to the side. You fixing his hair and Eren's hand resting on top of your hips when the office door opened. You both turned to see Jean and Floch who sported sullen faces, their arms swinging in front of them as if they were children just denied a cone of ice cream.

"Boys?" You called, your free hand interlocking with Eren who stood in place as you took a step toward the pair. "Everything alright?"

They looked between you and Eren, Jean seeing the ink marks on your neck and seeing Eren's hair haphazard was enough to make him look to the floor, his cheeks reddening and Eren could only smirk. Floch was the opposite, he couldn't take his eyes off you as his face held a permanent grimace and you wondered if he was constipated.

"Baby," Eren called, tugging you back to him and Jean scoffed, Possessive ass is already showing her off. He thought to himself.

"They just got yelled at by Erwin, whatever they did was obviously bad, just leave them be."

You nodded in understanding, giving them a comforting smile and Floch didn't miss the knowing look in Eren's eyes.

"Sorry to hear about that. If you two ever need anything, you know where my office is."

"Yeah, that's the problem." Captain Levi's voice came from the doorway. Jean and Floch mumbled a quick goodbye before scurrying away and you couldn't help but fall into deeper confusion.

The captain and Eren exchanged looks before Eren bent to kiss your cheek.

"I got to go. I'll see you later, princess." You blushed at the nickname and public display, murmuring a soft okay in reply as your boyfriend? walked away from you.

You gave Levi a smile which he didn't return, you didn't miss the small blush on his cheeks and you figured it was from seeing such intimacy from Eren. You were almost positive Levi was still a virgin. Walking into Erwin's office, you all but skipped the man's desk, falling beside him and giving him a bright smile which he returned.

"Hey Erwin, just wanted to update you on the cadet's recovery plan. He should be back in training in a few months if he listens to my instructions, think you can help me?"

"Sure what do you need?"

"Well, I'd need you to sign these release forms first." You shrugged putting the papers in front of him, you looked at his desk and grabbed the pen, "Where's your ink?"

The chuckle the two men gave you made your eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"What?"

"Seems like you're wearing it, Doc." Levi's eyes flickered to your neck.

You let out a gasp and your hands slapped to cover you and the laughs that followed only made you blush furiously.

Dammit, You thought, Eren you idiot.