#that was built basically by one guy just kind of doesn’t make sense
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ohhh wouldn’t it make the most sense for FNAF 3 and Pizza Sim to be the same kind of thing? Err like sister location has happened probably and like Henry uses Fazbear Frights to idk lure them all and that way it doesn’t have to burn them down twice ig?
#disco speaks!#there’s a reason this is making sense to me#just let me figure it out#also I know that sister location is canon but for some reason I find it hard to count as canon#like 1-4 and then even pizza sim makes some sort of sense to me but like a secret underground place#that was built basically by one guy just kind of doesn’t make sense#tbh this whole series is a suspension of disbelief lmao#but like why would his style change so drastically?? like if anything#if I were him I would perhaps (granted I’m not a child murderer nor played by Matthew lillard which is one of the funniest disclaimers I’ve#made lmao) I would stick with the simpler spring lock and adjust that formula instead of going broke due to electricity expenses that place#had to be skyrocketing into. HAHA William Afton being in severe debt is really funny to me.#the debt collector just trying to figure out if a undying corpse still needs to pay debt or if it would pass on#to next of kin. And then having to figure out the same situation with the kids is so funny.#the debt collector has to go through so much research to try and find out and ends up solving the missing murder case#I hate debt collectors but that’s such a funny scenario#who will find him first hell or the IRS
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I Don't Need A Gentleman
pairing: edward cullen x gender neutral reader tags: edward is old fashioned and kinda a prude, the reader is not, reader doesn't want vanilla sex anymore, alice and rosalie are cool sister in laws
You lounge on the massive, cream-colored couch in the Cullens’ living room, scrolling absentmindedly through your phone as Alice and Rosalie flip through a stack of fashion magazines. It’s one of those rare, lazy evenings—no imminent threats, no pressing vampire drama—just the family scattered around the house doing their own thing. Alice bumps your foot with hers. “You’re weirdly quiet today. Seriously, what’s up?”
You look up, tapping the phone against your knee. “It’s kind of about Edward.”
Rosalie arches a perfectly groomed brow. “What did our golden boy do now?”
Your cheeks—if they still could—might blush. “He didn’t really do anything wrong, exactly. It’s just…” You pause, gathering your thoughts. Even though you’ve been married to Edward for a while, it can still be tough to put some things into words. “He’s super considerate, and I adore that about him. But sometimes—okay, a lot of times—I just wish he’d show a little more…passion? Fire?”
Alice makes a sympathetic face, setting her magazine aside. “He can be a bit old-school, yeah. He has that ‘eternally seventeen’ gentleman thing down to a T.”
“Tell me about it,” you huff. “I’m a vampire, too! I mean, I’m not exactly made of glass. But he keeps treating me like I’m this delicate flower that might crumble if the wind blows too hard. I swear, sometimes our kisses feel like little pecks—like he’s worried I’ll spontaneously combust if he lingers longer than three seconds.”
Rosalie leans back, crossing her arms. “Look, Edward’s always been overly cautious. It’s one of his most annoying…okay, fine, endearing qualities. But you can’t blame him for wanting to protect you. He’s basically built that way.”
You sit up straighter, pushing your hair out of your face. “Totally. I get it. I love how he’s protective, and, well, a total gentleman. But I need more of that oomph. Y’know, that feeling where you just can’t keep your hands off each other.”
Alice snorts a laugh. “I never thought I’d hear you say ‘oomph.’ You should definitely say that to Edward’s face. He’d probably blush so hard, if vampires could blush.”
“Yeah, yeah,” you say, rolling your eyes playfully. “But how do I bring it up without hurting his feelings? He’s so sensitive. The moment he thinks he’s made me even slightly uncomfortable, he clams up.”
Rosalie sets the magazine aside with a little thump. “You’re married. He can handle the conversation. Trust me, you should be honest about it. Being in love for, what, decades? That means talking about the hard stuff, or the passionate stuff.” She smirks at that last part.
Alice nods enthusiastically, tucking her legs up beneath her. “The best way is just to be straightforward. Tell him how you feel without making it sound like he’s doing something wrong. Emphasize that you love his old-fashioned side—it’s part of why you married him, right? But also make it crystal clear that you want him to dial up the heat. You’re a vampire, for crying out loud, not some breakable human.”
You exhale, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. “You guys are right. I’m probably overthinking it. I’m worried he’ll take it the wrong way, but I can’t just keep ignoring how frustrated I am.”
“Exactly.” Alice taps your knee again. “He’ll listen, especially if you remind him that you still love all the things that make him Edward. He just needs to hear that you want him to trust your strength, too.”
Rosalie stands, stretching with the fluidity of a cat. “And if that doesn’t work, just throw him up against a wall somewhere. That’ll get the point across.”
Alice gasps in mock horror. “Rosalie Hale! That’s your brother you’re talking about.”
She smirks. “Hey, I’m just saying, sometimes subtlety isn’t the answer.”
You laugh, shaking your head. “Let me try talking first before I start tossing him around.”
Alice and Rosalie share amused glances as you stand, giving a quick wave. “Thanks for the advice, seriously.”
“Anytime,” Alice sings out.
“Go get ’em,” Rosalie adds, winking.
You head up the stairs to find Edward, heart fluttering in that familiar way only he can cause, despite both of you being, well, undead. He’s in his usual spot in the family’s library, flipping through a thick novel—something old and fancy, undoubtedly. The moment he senses you, he glances up with a small smile, eyes full of that unwavering devotion.
“Hey,” you say, crossing the room until you’re close enough to rest a hand on his shoulder. “Got a minute to talk?”
“Of course,” Edward responds softly, setting the book aside. He tilts his head, concern flickering in those golden eyes. “Is everything all right?”
“It is,” you reassure him, settling in beside him on the velvet couch. You can still hear Alice’s and Rosalie’s voices drifting faintly from downstairs, but you focus on Edward. “I just wanted to share something that’s been on my mind, and it’s really important to me.”
He nods earnestly. “You know you can tell me anything.”
Taking a breath, you gently place your hand over his. “So, we’ve been together for a long time. We’re married, and I’m a vampire—just like you, right? But sometimes I feel like you’re handling me with kid gloves. I love your gentlemanly side, and I’d never want you to completely lose that. But I want us to be able to express our love passionately, without you worrying so much that I’ll break.”
Edward’s gaze drops to your entwined hands. “I—I see,” he says quietly. “I never meant to make you feel like you weren’t my equal. It’s just…I can’t shake the habit of worrying you might be hurt or regret something if I let go too much. Even though you’re stronger than any human I once knew, it’s hard to override decades of caution.”
Leaning in, you brush a gentle kiss against his cheek. “I know. And I respect how deeply you care. But hey, my strength is legit.” You grin, flexing half-jokingly. “I promise, I can handle more. And if something’s too much, I’ll tell you.”
Edward’s lips curve into a small smile. “Thank you for being honest with me. I guess I needed a reminder that I’m not the only one in this relationship who has a say—especially when it comes to showing affection.”
Your heart (metaphorically) flutters at the genuine warmth in his voice. “Exactly. I love being with you, and I don’t want you to hold back. We can figure out the balance, you know, do the old-fashioned courting stuff, but also, I don’t know…maybe occasionally break the furniture?”
His eyes widen for half a second in surprise, then he laughs, the sound soft and musical. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he teases, sliding a hand around your waist to pull you closer. This time, when you tilt your head up for a kiss, you feel him lean in just a bit more—a tiny, tangible shift. His lips linger, his cool hand splaying across your back. The moment stretches on until you both draw away, contented smiles on your faces.
“That,” you whisper, thumb brushing against his jaw, “was exactly what I’ve been missing.”
Edward’s eyes shine with affection. “Then I’ll make sure you never miss it again.”
Downstairs, you can practically hear Alice’s “Yes!” whispered under her breath, and you know Rosalie is grinning in that smug way that says, “Told you so.” It makes you laugh softly. But that’s the beauty of this big, unconventional vampire family.
Edward gently presses his forehead against yours. Neither of you needs to breathe, but the moment feels like a breath of fresh air anyway. Old-fashioned or not, he’s all yours—and he’s finally letting you show him that you’re every bit the strong partner he deserves. And judging by the heat in his eyes, this is just the beginning.
#x male reader#male reader#gender neutral insert#gender neutral reader#gender neutral y/n#twilight#the twilight saga#bella swan#the cullens#twilight saga#jacob black#edward cullen#rosalie hale#alice cullen#carlisle cullen#esme cullen#aro volturi#marcus volturi#cauis volturi#new moon#breaking dawn#breaking dawn pt. 1#breaking dawn part 2#twilight fandom#twilight fanfiction#edward cullen x reader#edward cullen fanfiction#edward cullen x you#edward cullen x y/n#edward cullen imagine
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Hello again! how are you? I hope your well, I wanted to give you another request about Male Wednesday, if it's not too much to ask, can you make an NSFW alphabet and an scenario (nsfw too) for Male Wednesday? I hope my order doesn't bother you or be strange... I'll wait for you!
NSFW Alphabet: W.A.
Warnings: mentions of: smut, obviously. knives to the throat, choking, necks snapping, temp play, blindfolds, graves, limping, edging, basically Wednesday Addams.
Author’s Note: thank you for the request babe! and your patience 😭 this is my halloween treat for you guys, hope yall enjoy. i was also thinking of adding a taglist- would anyone be interested in that? lmk
Wednesday is once again aged up, same as previous fics if not a little older.
Navigation
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Wednesday would be pretty standoffish after sex. He’s new to the whole emotional intimacy thing, and it’s going to take a couple tries before he perfects it. After a few minutes of brooding, though, he’ll shower you in affection. Baths, massages, kisses, whatever you want from him. Princess treatment.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
His neck is by far his favorite part of himself. He’s not a vain person - he has better things to focus on. But he is in shape and dammit if his neck doesn’t clearly display that. Wednesday loves how his neck could end his life at any moment, especially when you choke him.
On you, your legs are by far his favorite. They’re absolutely beautiful. He can drag his hands up your leg and feel the goosebumps form, your breath hitching.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Inside or on your stomach. There’s no in-between. He likes the feeling of marking his territory, even though he belongs to you more than you could ever belong to him. The feeling of total connection is nice too. And if he finishes on your stomach, he loves to look down at the reminder of what you do to him.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Hold a knife to his neck. Do it. This man will get so turned on. The fact that he’s with such a deadly woman? Who’s not afraid to handle a weapon? In the bedroom? Wednesday could cum with that knowledge alone.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Wednesday is kind of experienced. He was socially awkward as a teen and into young adulthood, so he missed out on a lot of opportunities. But as an adult, he built up his portfolio enough to know how to make you see stars.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
There are only a couple positions Wednesday isn’t okay with - if you bring a new one up, he’s mostly down to do it. He does have preferences, though. You riding him will never get old. He has the perfect view from below, taking in every expression and sigh. It also takes any expectations off of him, leaving the bulk of the work for someone else. Don’t worry, he’ll make it up to you later 😏
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Wednesday isn’t a fan of humor in daily life, and you can bet that translates into the bedroom. He doesn’t lack all sense of emotion, though. He transforms into a simp in every sense of the word once his back hits the bedsheets, making comments every so often simply to bring a smile to your face. Overall very serious.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He’s not just rich, he’s hygenic. Wednesday definitely has a studio booked at least twice a month for simple care down there, just to keep everything in check. He knows you love his cleanliness too, so he keeps it up.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
It depends on the day. If Wednesday had gotten off from a long day of work and is in a bad mood, it’s fast and aggressive and not intimate in the least. But if he’s content with the day and in a somewhat calm mood, you’d best believe his eyes will make you melt in the middle of getting eaten out.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Wednesday prefers not to. Why would he when there are so many other things to do? But if he’s feeling really desperate, or if you’ve been on a trip for the past couple days, he’ll bang out a quickie just to relieve the tension. It doesn’t mean anything if you aren’t there, in his opinion.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
We’ve already talked about the knives, but that’s just scraping the surface. He’d be into temperature play, especially with half-melted candles, enjoying the way you recoil ever so slightly before arching into the warmth. The blindfold would be a big hit too, a mockup of a silent grave.
L = Location (favorite places to do the dirty)
The bedroom is the preferred area for him, but he’s more than willing to change it up. Has done and will do it in the graveyard for some adventure, but a dark bathtub is an instant spark of intimacy for him.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
If you pick up any weapon whatsoever and show that you know your way around it, he’s bricked. Your body draped in lingerie is a turn on too - he appreciates fine craftsmanship.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Any sort of sharing is a no. You are his, and he is yours, and to him, that is sacred.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Wednesday is a giver in every sense of the word. He loves looking up at you from between your thighs, letting out a slow moan and watching you squirm. He doesn’t really go for receiving, but if you’re offering, he won’t refuse.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Again, depends on your moods. A bad mood generally means a quick release of rage, and a good mood means slow, peaceful lovemaking. He’s down to switch it up depending on what you’re both looking for that day though.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He loves them - they serve their purpose well enough. Wednesday likes to take his time with you, but he’ll never say no to having you.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Sometimes he’s open to taking risks, but not often. He tends to stick to the classics, what he knows works. He wants to please and be pleased, and anything that comes in the way of that (like a failed risk) is merely a disposable burden.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Wednesday is the type of man to have so much control over his stamina that it makes you question his mental state. Seriously, if he has his way with you, you won’t be able to walk for days because of the sheer amount of rounds he carries you through. He likes having that control over himself, and isn’t afraid to use it to the fullest.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Nope. Toys are something he avoids; they just aren’t appealing to him. You’re more than enough for him, and he makes that known every time you bring it up.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Teasing is popular with you guys. Especially if either one has provoked the other. You flirted with someone else, and checked to make sure he was watching? You playfully avoided him, only sparing light touches to his chest? He can and will drag one singular orgasm out for hours.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Wednesday isn’t afraid to express himself, and this shows in bed. Soft moans will fall from his lips, as well as slurred words of encouragement. He doesn’t see a reason to hide the enjoyment that you caused.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
“Proud of yourself?” You call over your shoulder as you limp towards the closet.
“Very,” Wednesday replies as he watches early morning light paint your body. He’s relaxed against the bed frame, a smirk slightly tilting his swollen lips.
“Wednesday.” You reply sternly. There’s no way you’re getting dressed for the day with what your lover did to you last night; at least, not without help.
“I’m coming, cara mia.” Wednesday chuckles as he lifts himself from the bed and towards where you have parked yourself. He leans down to you, his mouth positioned just over your ears. “Where do you need me?”
Your heart stutters, his voice echoing in your mind. God, how you want this man. “Too early for seduction. I need a shirt.” You mumble before you end up even more sore than you already are.
Wednesday laughs softly before grabbing your waist and guiding you back to the bed. “I beg to differ, dove.”
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Wednesday is packing. Full-on, grazing your cervix, causing a little bump in your belly, rendering your legs useless. You almost fainted the first time you saw his cock, to be completely honest. He knows exactly how big he is and how that affects you, too, and that’s the infuriating part: he knows exactly what to say about it to get you worked up.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Normally, his drive is pretty average. But whenever you are around him, his drive peaks, and he is desperate for you whenever you want to have him. He can hold his ground though and pretend he has no interest in having sex if he wants to tease, though.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards
Wednesday wouldn’t even think about sleeping before you’re taken care of and drifting off. But after that, he’s out like a light. The physical exertion and emotional intimacy exhausts him, but once he’s gotten a good amount of sleep and a wake-up call with your kisses, he’s ready to do it all over again.
#male wednesday addams x reader#wednesday addams#male!wednesday addams x reader#wednesday x reader#the addams family x reader#wednesday x you#male!wednesday addams#wednesday addams x reader#male wednesday x y/n
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gangster kind of lover
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warnings: dom!chris, sub!reader, drugdealer!chris, druguser!reader, y/n, abusive!chris, oral sex, unprotected sex, let names
summary- a look into y/n's and Chris's relationship and how his actions affect her life and her drug addiction
i need a gansta to love me better
since i was a little girl i’ve always wanted a disney prince boy, as i got older i learned those boys will only fuck you over and gangsters will love you better.
to always forgive me
a gangster boyfriend will always forgive you with some sex.
ride or die with me
a gangster boyfriend would kill for you.
that’s just what gangsters do after all
i’m fucked up, i’m black and blue
i’m getting ready to go out clubbing with a few girlfriends i’m applying some make up on my bruises that my boyfriend? left i don’t know what we are. i want to be his girlfriend but he “doesn’t commit” little does he know i’m built for it, all the abuse
i’ve got secrets that nobody knows
“omg girl what’s on you’re leg that’s a nasty bruise!!” my friend halle says worried
“oh nothing i just ran into a table REALLY hard and hurt myself it’s fine tho!” i lie i tried to cover that up but my lower body ones are harder to cover.
i’m good on that pussy shit
“nah give me the hard stuff weed is for pussys bitch” i laugh as my hookup is making a line for me currently
i don’t want what i can get
“hey girl you look good tonight” this random dude flirts
“yea no thanks i’m alright” i laugh
“girl you need to get out there stop rejecting guys and live a little
“trust me girl i’m getting out there and living a lot!!” i laugh
“i’ll believe it when i see it!” she laughs
“okay girlll”
i want someone with secrets
“we gotta hurry up my friends don’t know we’re together” my hookup says while sucking in my neck
“do they also know that you sell drugs?” i breathe out
“someone’s got an attitude tonight but no they don’t and they won’t find out” he demands the last part
“are you tryna seduce me even more?” i laugh “next thing i know you’re gonna tell me to call you daddy” i’m PANTING at this point
my freakness is on the loose
we kissing as we walk into his bedroom and he shuts to door with his foot as he leads me to bed, he lays me on the bed and he doesn’t waste any time he strips me if my clothes
“hurry up and fuck me chris” i complain as i throw my head back
“be patient or you won’t cum” he taunts
“yes sir” i smirk
he grabs my jaw and makes me look at him “ill fuck this little attitude right out of you don’t even”
“fine next time i’ll call you daddy” i bite my lower lip and smile
“keep the fucking attitude up and we won’t fuck” he warns
“fine” i huff and he starts kissing down my stomach and to my uncovered pussy.
he starts to pepe’s kisses all over my sensitive cunt and i start to moan already “of fuck chris please give me more”
“patient sweetheart” he says sending vibrations up my pussy. he starts to eat me out and i’m a moaning mess the second he starts i know this is gonna go to his ego
“oh mother fucker don’t stop” i moan he adds three fingers no warning and i’m not going to last much longer now “please chris i’m gonna cum!!!” i whine
“whenever you’re ready baby” he says in my cunt but just like that i’m LEAKING with my juices all over his face “mmm taste so good for me” he says as he finishes swallowing
“just fuck me chris please” i beg
“well sense you said please” he teases and takes his pants off
“no condom i’m on the pill i just want you to cum inside of me” i ask
“just this once” he tells me as he grabs my hips, he then slides me over to him and he aligns his dick up to my wet sensitive cunt
he goes in and with no time to adjust he rams into me.
“OH FUCK!” i yell the second he starts fucking me
he’s ramming into me with no cares making me yell his name out, and i hear slight moans from him, i feel my pussy walls tighten around his dick and it’s twitches inside me
“oh fuck chris i’m so close” i moan
“me to baby cum with me” he basically moans
and then on cue we both cum together with our juices mixing inside me. he lets his cock sit inside me for a minute while we catch our breath.
“oh fuck you did so good today angel” he compliments laying beside me now
“thank you! you did good to i don’t think i can walk anymore” i laugh
“good you don’t need to be walking anyways who are you tryna go see with those legs anyways” he always does this
“no one just you but now i can’t get to you” i respond making him mad
“well you won’t be leaving then” he gets up
“wait what that’s not fair i have a life besides fucking you” i argue
“well to fucking bad” he yells
“no! you can’t keep me here” i yell back
“FUCKING WATCH ME” he screams and yanks me off the bed, he throws me onto the floor and then slaps my face leaving a bright red hand mark
“OW WHAT THE FUCK CHRIS” i yell still on the floor holding my cheek
“STOP BEING A FUCKING SLUT AND LISTEN TO ME AND I WOULDNT FUCKING DO THAT” he yells
“get the FUCK away from me” i grab my clothes hurriedly put them on and run out of his house “whatever we have is DONE” i yell outside
you got me hooked up on a feeling
“fuck i have NOTHING” i scold myself. i try to call my new dealer but he won’t answer “fuck it we’re calling chris
“chris can you get my my usual i’m out.” i say over the phone
“i was waiting for this call you know you love my cock to much” he laughs
“go to hell you know that’s not true you’re not even that big i’ve seen bigger and better dicks” i attack him
“ouch that’s not what you said in bed” he argues
“chris just get over here and get me my shit i’ll have money” he deamand
“if you wanna see me so bad just ask but sure i’ll be right over” he grunts
“great” i hang up
5 minutes later he’s knocking at my door
“hi chris come in” i say coldly
“hi ma” he flirts
“chris is told you i’m done with you” i tell him
“then why am i here” he asks
“for DRUGS” i empathize the last word
“you know we’re gonna end up fucking” he says factually
“whatever you have my shit” i ask
“right here” he pulls a baggy out of his jacket pocket
“here’s some money” i say grabbing it off my coffee table in the living room
“no thanks ill give this one to ya” he declines my money
“oh my fucking god just come here” i say annoyed cause he only does this when he wants to fuck and i’ve learned to just suck it up cause he won’t take the money
“that’s a good girl” he praises and i connect our lips and we start making out.
you got me hooked up from the ceiling
“chris come over i’m hornyyyy” i whine over the phone
“i’ll be right there” he groans and i can here him pick up his car keys this makes me smirk
“see you soon” i moan into the phone knowing that will make him hard
“goodbye ma” he hangs up the phone
got me so high, i’m barely breathing
“are you feeling it” chris asks
“hell yea i think i can hold my breath for ever i like don’t end have to breathe right now” i say laughing
“baby breathe please” he softens his tone
“yea okay i will” i say taking a deep breath
i need a gansta to love me better
chris will always love me better than little disney prince boy, my gangster boyfriend will do what we it takes to make sure i’m his no matter what.
#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo#smut#nick sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo fanfic#tw drugs#drug dealer#tw abuse#pet names#song lyrics#secrets#Spotify
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There is something clearly unhealthy and immature about Marius inserting himself into Armand's every meaningful relationship with anyone else.
Yes, he helped Daniel in a crisis situation, but it seems like it could have done without the romantic subtext, right?
Then he became the maker of Benji and Sybelle. And this is the strongest connection, although he had nothing to do with these people 💀
It’s like he’s tying Armand to himself, isn’t it? He takes all his close people. Marius is literally everywhere.
While Armand himself is obviously trying to learn to live independently, without Marius and his influence.
Armand remains trapped in his power. He is afraid of loneliness, and all the people closest to him are attached to Marius for various reasons.
This thought makes me despair. Armand is still dependent on Marius. And, apparently, he's always will be.
Justice for Armand in a show, where Daniel will be on his side, without a sense of duty to Marius for taking care 🤞🏻
AGREED ITS SO FUCKED!!
It feels so insidious, like it comes off like Marius is intentionally sinking his teeth into Armand’s loved ones so that he will be inescapably a part of his life. It reminds me of how abusers r often family members the victims r regularly forced to interact with, but instead of this being inherent to the dynamic Marius is putting himself in those roles to be closer to Armand. I’m not sure that he’s doing that specifically with that goal, but I feel like it has to be at least subconscious.
I always think about how with Benji and sybelle, it seems like his only motivation is to insert himself into Armand’s life in a way that deprives him of agency or authority. He’s literally taking away his children by *making himself the father* and he’s taking away Armand’s agency to make choices for them by making the choice for him and then patiently explains to him like he’s a dumb child that marius just knows better and this was for their own good.
He basically does the same with Daniel, he takes in Daniel when he’s vulnerable and then isolates him from Armand so that Armand doesn’t get to be a part of his life anymore. It’s very parent of a teen mom deciding to raise the kids cuz the mom is too immature, but instead of a teen mom it’s a grown adult who continues to be treated by the parent like he’s too immature to have any relationship that isn’t being directed and controlled by Marius.
back to Benji and sybelle, smth that’s rlly upsetting to me about that plot line is how Marius begins initiating that dynamic by patiently inviting Armand to his house to reconnect with seemingly no strings or pressure attached, and Armand is very hesitant to open himself up to marius for understandable reasons so he is very distant and none responsive to this offer. And so since Armand isn’t budging, marius offers to help him out by looking after his kids, and Armand agrees to that and it’s kind of an olive branch where Armand is allowing himself to trust Marius by allowing him to be alone with his loved ones. And Marius takes that opportunity and decides to inescapably tie Armand to him by inserting himself into his family dynamic and ruining everything Armand has built by making it his own 😭😭 it’s so fucked, and it seems like such a direct reaction to Armand being distant and hesitant to open up to him
I think Marius does all this partly cuz he’s scared to loose Armand, and partly bcus he sees Armand as his biggest mistake who should have never existed, and in that feels responsible for controlling his life/“taking care of him” so that he doesn’t “cause any harm” that Marius would be responsible for. It’s also definitely an insecurity thing. I think Marius is insecure seeing that Armand is fine without him while Marius (guy who should be the “strong one” in the relationship) can’t stop thinking about him, so he tries to take control of Armand and revert back to their old dynamics so that he can validate his own power + validate his belief that Armand needs him
#armand#tvc#the vampire chronicles#iwtv#interview with the vampire#the vampire armand#amc iwtv#vampire chronicles#Iwtv amc
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Ted infodumping:
OKAY. Ted is so horrifically mischaracterized that I don’t even really know where to begin. I’m fresh on my Ted lore because I spent the whole night listening to the audiobook and tweaking out like a nerd 😭
Book Ted is so interesting. Without considering game lore, a lot of people seem to think of him as just a cold, self righteous misogynist. However, the thing is that Ted HATES himself. All of his paranoid delusions stem from insecurity, but the way he frames it in the narrative sounds like he’s ’bragging.’
“They hated me because I was the youngest” and “I was the least affected” both sound like points of insecurity for him. Not that he wanted to be tortured more, but in the sense that he was aware he suffered less, and he was insecure of the fact that it was obvious. Ted watched as Benny was transformed from a handsome, normal guy to a straight up ape, and he seems to use that as a comparison point for the other torture they experience. Like, “Well, I don’t have it as rough as Benny, and my mind is still intact because I would know if it wasn’t!” is essentially what Ted was getting at.
Based on how the canned food incident was mentioned in the game during Benny’s route, it can be assumed that the game takes place shortly after the book (seeing as it’s still only been 109 years), and obviously Ted and Ellen didn’t get to kill everyone.
Ted’s route and section in the game strategy guide highlight the reasons why he is the way he is. He was basically groomed by an older woman when he was 19. He had no education, and was forced to work as a mechanic. Then, this woman shows up and shows him the high life; he doesn’t even realize he’s being used by older women for his body.
Notice in his route, Ted never offers to sleep with the maid or the witch.. they offer it to HIM. And it’s not necessarily even an “offer”, it’s in exchange for something. Ted has always used intimacy as a way to get something, and that explains why he has such a cynical view of Ellen. She services the men to try and keep them sane, but Ted can’t seem to fully understand how it’s a selfless act. He has always attributed sex as a means to barter, and here’s a woman having sex with them for “no reason.” Seeing as he couldn’t make her finish, that furthers in his mind that she’s not getting anything from him, so WHY is she doing it? It doesn’t help that AM altered her to make her crave intimacy more, but Ted can’t escape his own disturbed views of sex, and so he blames Ellen for her service.
Then in the game, the reason I think he’s suddenly switched up so fast was because he saw the opportunity to be the fairytale hero that he always imagined being. In the game strategy guide it mentions how he felt cheated because he already saw Ellen as /his/ partner (or something like that), so now he had an opportunity to play the part of a gallant knight for the damsel in distress.
FUN THING TO NOTE!! In Ellen’s route she’s obviously very self-sufficient and intelligent. She’s strong, too. However, every time Ted narrates something (such as the book or his route) he perceives her as weak and emotional; when she doesn’t seem the type. She’s KIND, compassionate. Ted sees that as a form of feminine weakness. It makes you wonder if you can ever trust anything he said about her in the book, from her crying to her “emotional outbursts”. Ted is 100% an unreliable narrator, but people don’t seem to realize just how unreliable he is.
Another thing worth considering is that Ellen has Ted’s infatuation purely because she is the last woman on Earth. There is no other woman for Ted to run to, and he desperately needs the company/affection. Instead of coming to the terms with the fact that he’d never truly have something genuine, he deludes himself with the IDEA of Ellen (I assume his ideal version of her is the one in his route — pliant and submissive). He doesn’t love her for her, he loves this handcrafted idea that he’s built of her.
I personally think a lot of Ted’s inner hate towards Ellen in the book was also because he was jealous. She gave Benny a lot of attention because he was objectively the one that had the most shit going on (I mean… monkey 😭) and Ted immediately assumed the only reason she must like him is because he’s got a big package. This all ties back to Ted viewing sex as a bartering tactic. She doesn’t give Ted that gentle attention, and he can never make her finish. “Therefore, Ellen must give Benny tons of attention because he’s a good lay!” Is what I think his thought process was.
Now, this might be a crazy take, but I also think Ted projects his potential sexual trauma onto Ellen. He was used by older women throughout his young adult life, and he may not know it, but having sex with them to maintain his finances and social status must’ve been traumatic to some extent. But, he could never realize that, this happened in a time period where people were even more likely to not believe a male victim. Ellen takes him out of turn to thank him for going with them to get the canned goods, and all Ted can seemingly think about is how she MUST be using him. She was just trying to do something nice for him, but Ted is so tangled in his own paranoia and delusion that he can’t fathom why she’d do something nice for him.
Sorry if this doesn’t make sense I just woke up but ooooh I love Ted lore so much ugh!!!
y’all get him so well and this was sm fun to read THANK YOU!!!!
#ted i have no mouth and i must scream#i have no mouth and i must scream#ihnmaims#ted ihnmaims#sick ass character analysis
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Hey so can I have a scenario where Peter’s wearing his spider suit, he just arrives at their place, hasn’t changed yet, and he’s being overly cheeky/sassy and pushing his luck with s/o. To shut him up, s/o pulls up his mask, makes it seem like they gonna kiss and then folds his mask over his eyes and now he can not see and s/o leaves him there. Sometimes they wish to throw a soft loaf of bread at him?
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Do you ever stop talking?
tw - nothing
word count -
Peter Parker x Reader
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Peter Parker swung through the window of your apartment like a man on a mission, landing with a flourish that was entirely unnecessary. He was still in his Spider-Man suit, looking every bit the cocky superhero as he stood there with his hands on his hips.
“Well, well, well,” he said, his voice dripping with mock arrogance. “Look who’s here to save the day—again.”
You didn’t look up from your laptop. “What is it this time? A cat stuck in a tree? Someone jaywalking? Truly heroic.”
Peter pressed a hand to his chest in mock outrage. “Excuse you. I just stopped a major robbery and took down six guys. One of them was built like Dwayne Johnson on steroids. I’m basically New York’s MVP.”
“Do they hand out medals for exaggerating?” you quipped, still not looking at him.
“Oh, you wound me y/n” Peter said, flopping onto the couch beside you. He sprawled dramatically, his arms draped over the backrest like he was some kind of king lounging on a throne. “Here I am, risking life and limb for this city, and you can’t even say, ‘Wow, Peter, you’re so amazing.’ Or, ‘Peter, you’re my hero.’”
“Peter, you’re so amazing,” you deadpanned, finally glancing at him.
Peter lit up. “See? Was that so hard? You know, it’s okay to admire me. I’m very admire-able.”
“Is that even a word?”
“It is now.”
You rolled your eyes and returned to your laptop, trying to ignore him. But Peter wasn’t done.
“Admit it,” he said, leaning closer to you. “You were worried about me out there. Sitting here, biting your nails, thinking, ‘Oh no, what if my Spider-Boyfriend doesn’t come home?’”
You paused, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “Spider-Boyfriend?”
Peter shrugged. “Catchy, right? Or we could try something else. Amazing Spider-Beau? My Spectacular spider-soulmate? Ooh, I like that one—has a nice ring to it.”
“Peter,” you said, your tone flat.
“Yes, love of my life?” he asked sweetly.
“Do you ever stop talking?”
“Not when I’m on a roll,” he said with a grin. “And right now? I am on fire. I mean, seriously, how lucky are you to—”
Before he could finish, you suddenly leaned in, your eyes locking with his. Peter’s words faltered, and his mouth opened slightly as if he couldn’t believe his luck.
“Oh,” he said, his voice softening. “Uh, I mean—yeah, you’re lucky. Or… maybe I’m lucky? Are we both lucky? Is that how this works?”
You smiled sweetly, reaching up to tug his mask up just enough to expose his lips. Peter froze, anticipation lighting up his face.
“Finally,” he murmured. “A reward for—”
In one swift motion, you pulled the mask all the way up and over his eyes, leaving him completely blind.
“Wait, what—? Hey!” Peter yelped, fumbling to fix it, but you were already out of his reach.
You stood up, grinning as you crossed the room. “That’s what you get for being too sassy, Spider-Boy.”
“It’s Spider-Man!” Peter protested, spinning around blindly on the couch. “What is this? Are you serious? I can’t see!”
“Use your Spidey senses,” you called over your shoulder, heading toward the kitchen.
Peter groaned, flailing in the general direction of your voice. “Babe, come on. This is cruel! What kind of girlfriend does this to her superhero boyfriend?”
“The kind with zero tolerance for sass,” you shot back, smirking.
Peter huffed, flopping back onto the couch dramatically. “Unbelievable. Here I am, saving the world, and this is how I’m treated? Betrayed by my own girlfriend. The tragedy.”
You poked your head back into the room, watching him flail in mock despair. “You’ll survive, drama queen.”
“Will I?” he called, still blinded. “What if I bump into something and die? What if I trip and fall out the window?”
“Then I’ll tell the city you were a hero to the very end,” you teased, grabbing a snack from the counter.
Peter tugged at his mask again, finally managing to pull it down just enough to uncover his eyes. He looked at you with a mix of betrayal and amusement. “You are so lucky I love you.”
You smirked. “And you’re lucky I haven’t done worse.”
Peter grinned, standing up and brushing himself off. “Oh, it’s on now. You’ve started a war, and I will win.”
“Good luck with that,” you said, already turning back to your laptop.
As Peter sat back down beside you, plotting his revenge, you couldn’t help but smile. He might be overly cheeky and impossible to shut up, but he was yours—and that made putting up with his antics more than worth it.
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#fanfic#marvel#x reader#peter parker#spiderman#peter being dumb#pls read#reuquests pls#spideycentral#marry me
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holy shit, dude. what a case. what a game!! I loved it all so much!
it felt like such a unique final trial. playing through a trial where the judge himself is not only corrupt but the true mastermind behind everything was new and honestly kinda nerve-wracking I’m not gonna lie I didn’t know how it was gonna play out.
at first I kinda questioned the decision not to have a jury for the last (technically two) cases of the game since that is supposed to be the “new” mechanic tgaa is supposed to be sporting but honestly it felt like they were there in spirit, their narrative importance were emphasised literally through what happened. the judge was corrupt, so the gallery, the “public” if you will (ignoring the gallery was full of judiciary members in this case) were the ones guiding the trial and demanding the truth and in theory that is what a jury is supposed to be for: so people’s fates aren’t in the hands of one person who’s basically just a politician. (this is re-enforced through what happened to jigoku too)
I’ll be honest, strongheart wasn’t exactly the most subtle choice for a villain, I think within his first couple scenes during the first game I had the initial thought “he’ll be the final villain won’t he?” and yeah I was right. if you’ve played an ace attorney game before he’s already the obvious choice and even if you haven’t he still has a bunch of signifiers that scream villain regardless (imposing, ambitious, calculating, aristocratic etc) all the while the narrative was being a little too nice to him pre reveal.
that’s not to say he’s a bad villain though! he’s a great villain!! he commands such an intimating presence and is genuinely despicable and wicked and the narrative just leans into it and ugh!! it’s great. he’s also insane too lmao. he is what would happen if you tried to do what light yagami did but without a death note. that level of crazy. love it.
I did think the 11th hour sholmes and iris save the day thing was a little hokey I must admit. it was kind of one of those moments where my suspension of disbelief was stretched even by ace attorney standards, and beyond that I just didn’t really like the whole “well the queen decreed that this guy sucks actually” in the face of the “rich and powerful people are super corrupt and don’t have the common man’s best interests” theme. I still do think you can have that moment where sholmes and iris step in but I feel you couldn’t come up with better ways to do it than that y’know. ultimately though I think it was just a minor moment, they wanted to end the case with a bang and that served its purpose. all the moments with more actual weight and meat behind them were done brilliantly.
it was just so great to see everything that was built up finally coalesce and make sense. these games are structured very differently to their predecessors, they’re much less episodic and focused on individual cases and more focused on the larger overarching story, and if I’m being honest I think it would’ve been very easy for that to go wrong but they pulled it off and they pulled it off brilliantly. it really did feel like I was pulled into a whirlwind of mystery and conspiracy and I loved it. like I said before, it feels like a testament to how takumi’s writing style has evolved and more reminiscent of the kind of storytelling we saw in ghost trick and I think that’s so cool!! though I do hope he might have at least one AA game left in him, even if he doesn’t, I’m really excited to see what he does next!
but regardless, I am in fact manifesting the great ace attorney investigations: herlock sholmes. preferably a prequel with him and yujin. this is something that will happen and I’ll hear no word against it happening. I need it idc.
tier list update!
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Good Omens meta post:
Okay. I’ve spammed poor Neil Gaiman many times about this, but he hasn’t replied. He probably hasn’t seen it, but maybe (~thrillingly~) he’s not answering on purpose…
Here’s my question. When trying to bring Anathema up to speed, Aziraphale says Crowley was a wily old serpent in the Garden of Eden, and that he, Aziraphale, was “technically on apple tree duty”—
Um, what? We knew he was the guardian of the Eastern Gate, but being on “apple tree duty” sounds like a rotating position held by angels in the garden. If so, what was it that Aziraphale was getting up to that distracted him enough to allow Crawly to slither past him and tempt Eve?
At that stage of the game (the very fucking beginning!), it’s wild that he would, to borrow a phrase, let such a cock-up happen. Here’s what we know about Az up to and immediately following the apple tree business:
1. Again, Aziraphale is “technically on apple tree duty”. God, or someone in charge anyway, thinks stopping the humans from eating from the tree is important enough that they should assign guards for it.
2. Aziraphale has reasonably good instincts for what is acceptable angelic behavior and wants to act accordingly.
3. More importantly, he has the foresight to know that God may implement consequences for transgressions against her, even transgressions no one has yet done (i.e. asking questions).
4. He remembers pre-fall Crowley (“I know the angel you were”) and believes some essence of his former self persists in his demonic iteration.
5. God has just built a whole universe specifically for Adam and Eve and their eventual progeny. This whole thing is for humans. Crowley literally fell for asking questions about the background set pieces for what’s basically HUMANS: The Musical. Guarding the tree for these very important beings seems like a crucial role.
6. Aziraphale is very smart.
So with all this in mind, how could Aziraphale be so irresponsible that Crowley is able to slip past him and tempt Eve? What on earth could possibly distract Aziraphale from such an important job?
Well, if the rest of the story is anything to go off of, the answer is, and has always been, Crowley.
Aziraphale seems to have had a bit of a crush on pre-fall Crowley (enough to think this was directed towards him and feel embarrassed when it wasn’t).
Is it possible that Aziraphale was looking for the-demon-soon-to-be-known-as-Crowley and left his post? Perhaps he even hoped that Crawly would reach the tree and Az would have to have some kind of interaction with him, but got there too late to stop Eve from taking a bite?
Maybe he did more than just hope Crawly would sneak through. Maybe Aziraphale allowed him to intentionally, with the selfish hope they could interact again.
Which makes sense. Aziraphale doesn’t even seem to be upset at Crowley for tempting Eve into doing the ONE THING Az was supposed to prevent. He’s mostly just stressed about giving away the flaming sword- an act that thoroughly impresses Crowley.
Makes you wonder what God’s really planning, honestly. Because if I was God, and I built a whole universe to watch what two human beings do with it (but still wanted my angelic creations to think I was the good guy), I would:
1. Put the forbidden apple tree in reach (not on the moon, for instance)
2. Put an earnest guard in front of it
3. Figure out the one thing that could draw that earnest guard away and let hearts take care of the rest.
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some incomplete thoughts on This Guy who turned out really small when i put his image here for some reason
This isn’t like anything special or a rebuff on people’s opinions I’ve just been thinking about him because he’s one of my favorite characters.
I saw a lot of thoughts on Elias a while back that were all somewhat in the same vein & I think something that these thoughts (what little I saw of them. I rarely check the tag, I’ve just been thinking on some forum opinions I saw) doesn’t take into account that Elias was blind.
Like, that’s a high-intensity disability, ESPECIALLY since it’s presented as him being Completely Blind, not just legally, which is very rare.
And he was like this for, what, I’m estimating around thirty, thirty-five years (Assuming Taka is ~23-26, that Solaris is roughly twice that, and that Elias is, quote, “some ten years” older than Solaris, and assuming that Solaris’ parents died when Elias was 20, 25?). So he’s blind until let’s say his thirties, when Phoenix confronts him about his lack of faith, and then suddenly he just isn’t anymore. And this wasn’t. Consensual.
Like, this wasn’t a conscious choice or an operation he went through. It just happened. And Elias says, quoting his diary, “…I was born blind. Growing up as a boy with no sight […] is no easy task, but of course, I learned to take care of myself. For some time, that was the only thing I could be proud of.” Even when he refers to himself as “…me, a defective blind child,” and laments his disability, it’s still part of him.
Removing that part of him out of nowhere, no warning, no consent? Probably not good for a person. I’m going to say that actually, that likely fucked up his entire previous sense of self. Completely. It basically canonically ruined his life. How old is he in postgame? 65, 70? With my estimates here, 58 at worst? Definitely old enough that he’s been seeing for half or more than half his life. Longer than he’d been blind.
This and the circumstances of this I’d say basically ruined his ability to exist outside of the cult. Completely destroyed his identity. Clearly, it somewhat indoctrinated him through Phoenix’s traumatic event, and then drove him to fanaticism when he gained sight, making him unable to properly raise Luna or take care of his own interests.
And postgame he still doesn’t realize that. it’s pretty fucked up? Getting his sight basically proved to him that not worshipping is punishable, and that worshipping is rewardable.
He was actively discriminated against by his family for being blind, but he was actively trying to be his own person. And when Phoenix’s parents died & he got his sight, it proved to him that he was wrong for doing that. Ex: “The Lord will punish those who lack faith.” “The Lord will reward those with true faith.”
(For the sake of the other side of the argument, let’s ignore this inference you can logically make here, later into Elias’ life when he becomes faithful to Arceus: Elias, who could “understand [Phoenix’s] feelings”, who was one of two “lordless, lawless men” can easily come to the conclusion that Arceus saw his future unfaithfulness and pre-emptively punished him by making him be born blind.)
And yeah he does genuinely bad things. Of course he does, are you kidding. But like. This is such an incredibly fucked up scenario. Basically his entire life past his ~20s, or ~30s (depending on if the dread set in post-Alcantara death or post-sight), is built around this expected punishment and gratefulness for this reward he never asked for.
(Again, even ignoring the easy inference that he might’ve been afraid of losing his new sight.)
Imagine Elias with only a few years of sight being able to watch his daughter make the same mistakes as he and Phoenix did. He literally, canonly believes that she’s inviting the kind of punishment that Phoenix received. “I do not wish them to receive any such punishment as my friend did.” Which was Phoenix’s parents being murdered, so I’m unsure if he’s fearing for his & Phoenix’s life too???
And I don’t think Elias was a good dad. Hell no & obviously not, are you crazy. But I’m saying that I believe with 90% certainty that he was a bad dad because he cared about her. He’s just incredibly compromised. The main issue I think is that he cared infinitely more about her safety than her happiness (still really bad).
all I’m saying is that while Elias did bad shit, was a bad parent, and let team meteor do. all of that. I don’t think it was out of any resentment, anger or etc (even if he doesn’t like the people of Reborn, but that’s not the point of the argument). He was a horrible parent because he was also in a horrible mental state. No I’m not excusing any of his crimes, bc I really like his moral failings, but I do think the context is necessary.
But anyway if I was Elias I would’ve jumped Celestinine day two. This is so miserable. Whole life destroyed. Stronger man than me & I worry about him. He should really get therapy for all of this. I do like when he fuels my god complex though.
#this is long as hell…#anyway.#I’m not physically disabled but. disabled perspective on this ‘disability cure’#I think it’s really cool and interesting that his disability cure ruined his life beyond reasonable repair#its very… i don’t know how to say. vindicating? not the right word but. yeah!#westalk#pokemon reborn#elias hazel
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Now I'm curious WRT how 'Barbie' didn't hit for you.
I’ll say this first. If you liked the movie, I’m happy for you and I’m not here to tell you to hate the movie. I’m glad you enjoyed it and hope you continue to enjoy it.
That said… this movie was NOT for me and I did not enjoy its story at all. I loved the set design, costume design, the performances, the music, the dedication to creating the world, all that stuff was great.
The plot itself. It felt circular without actually purposefully dealing with the issues it tried to talk about.
The fact that Doctor Barbie, who is trans, is the one who is told to “go seduce Ken by telling him you feel don’t feel pretty” - as if this isn’t something that leads to violence toward trans women in the real world and also why her to be the one who doesn’t feel pretty? Wtf?
The Kens of Barbieland are basically all losers, are grossly incompetent compared to Barbie, treated poorly, and our main Ken (aka Beach Ken) has severe self worth issues… so naturally all the Kens become the villains and are able to overthrow all of Barbieland later on in the movie by doing …. they never explain how. Somehow a world full of, and built by, the most capable women ever are overthrown by like 20 dudes who they treated poorly and who aren’t very smart. Beach Ken’s root problems are only barely resolved and none of it feels meaningful.
Gloria and Sasha, the human characters who work with Barbie to fix Barbieland, are just as much caricatures and tropes as Barbie herself. Sasha, the daughter, is a mean Gen Z who just openly lashes out at Barbie (a stranger), and everyone else who is actually nice to her, for no reason. Gloria is “a sad mom who pretends to be happy” but they never explain why at all, it’s assumed that it’s because “she lives in a patriarchy”, but the only person who’s directly mean to her in the film is… her daughter.
Gloria gives a speech to each Barbie, individually, to snap them out of the Ken’s brainwashing (which like AGAIN how did that happen? It makes no sense at all and just confuses me) - the speeches are not empowering at all, they’re just about how women in the real world suffer a double standard on how to exist and SOMEHOW with all those depressing revelations thrown at them it… restores their self-confidence/self-worth and undoes the brainwashing?
Weird Barbie, whom everyone says is ugly and gross and they have violent “EW!!!” reactions to her face, is played by Kate FUCKING McKinnon. Meanwhile Stereotypical Barbie, while having an ugly cry breakdown about (again) not being pretty anymore, is played by Margot FUCKING Robbie. A fact that the movie points out as “the wrong casting choice to have this scene and cast Margot Robbie as Barbie saying she’s ugly.”
I heard so much about how it was a “queer positive movie” but there’s nothing queer about nor really in the movie. So it got to cling to the rainbow and scream “allyship” and everyone praised it for essentially doing nothing.
Everyone is like… mean? Everything feels so mean and mean spirited. It’s supposed to be very tongue in cheek, very snappy and quick, and everyone has a comeback for every situation but… it just really feels like everyone is just being mean for the sake of being mean and it makes moments where you’re supposed to feel sympathy for any character just drop immediately when they say the rudest shit ever for literally no reason.
They talk about Midge, aka the pregnant woman in the Barbie line, and then say “no don’t look at her anymore, she’s weird and creepy” … which AGAIN feels like that statement undercuts the point of women empowerment that the movie wants you to take away from watching the film?
It tries to balance jokes and seriousness in a way that undercuts the message of “society is kind fucked up and broken” that they’re trying to talk about. The “good guys” are also constantly mistreating other people, the “Barbieland bad guys” became bad by going to the real world and leaning “patriarchy”, the “Real world bad guys” literally do nothing except take up movie time for random gags and really don’t service the plot at all, and as much as it’s like “TAKE THAT MAJOR CORPORATION” at every turn… the movie was fully approved by Warner Bros Discovery AND Mattel… so it’s never actually going to say anything worthwhile about corporate greed and corruption without putting on kiddie gloves to do so.
The only person who I felt true sympathy for, understood their reasoning, and felt they deserved a happy ending was ALLAN, aka Ken’s Best Friend, who is treated equally like shit by basically everyone in the film. Allan points out that Barbieland and the Real World both kinda suck, how life is only just slightly more miserable there after the Ken’s took over, and how he just “wants to run away” and when given the chance does so, only to defend Sasha and Gloria from a bunch of Ken’s single handedly and telling them to “get out while they can”… and then is subsequently brought back to Barbieland by Sasha and Gloria to fix everything and… AGAIN none of this pays off because Allan’s purpose is dropped immediately when they get back to Barbieland. And Allan is played by MICHEAL CERA. I feel like I’m losing my mind at this point.
It feels like the movie wants to talk about the issues women face in all walks of life, but is never able to punch hard enough to make that message matter nor stick. It talks around gender issues, self worth issues, and problems in society without actually saying something real about them. The meanness of all the dialogue makes me really not care about pretty much anyone in the movie because… man I’m just so fucking tired of everything and everyone having to be “mean” in movies to prove a point.
The movie ends with a gynecologist appointment.
I dunno what to tell you. The plot is “not for me” and I didn’t really connect with anything.
The movie just made me sad and disconnected because of how much everyone praised it, saying it “made me proud to be a woman” or “it’s inventive, immaculately crafted and surprising mainstream films in recent memory - a testament to what can be achieved within even the deepest bowels of capitalism.”
And it didn’t feel like that for me at all.
Maybe it’s because of all the “that’s womanhood” talk throughout the movie. Because I’ve had so many women in power give me that speech after I came out as trans only to be abused directly by them in the same way that they said men abused them all while I was still ALSO being abused by the same men who abused them too. So like YIPPEE this fucking SUCKS and it was kinda trauma triggering!!
Maybe it’s because I’ve worked in the entertainment industry for 17+ years and know how stuff like this gets made and how many corporate approvals you need for it to make the “take THAT major corporations and CEOs!” jokes land like a dead fish on the floor. The people they are directly calling out said “yes, this level of joke at the expense of our richness and power is okay” and that’s the ONLY reason any of those moments are in the movie. So it doesn’t even really fucking matter, it’s all manufactured, it’s all there to make you feel like it’s doing something when the people with all the power just allowed it to happen. It’s not a “win” or a “heavy blow to their ego”, they literally don’t care.
So I DUNNO, this movie kinda just made me feel depressed and made me remember how badly I had been treated by people after coming out regardless of that person’s gender. The movie felt mean in a way that was too “on the nose” and real for me but then praised most of the characters for their mean actions or words.
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In terms of the actual look of Orlok, Eggers says he asked himself, “What would a dead Transylvanian nobleman actually look like? That was basically where I started from, and I wanted to still acknowledge Max Schreck’s makeup design.”
•excerpts taken from the article which you can read in full at the link.
minor spoilers under the cut
In one of the earlier attempts to get his film made, right after The Witch, Eggers had a then-25-year-old Bill Skarsgård in mind for the Thomas Hutter character, but now he asked him to consider the role of Orlok. “I’ve been dying to work with Robert for a very long time, but it was very daunting,” Skarsgård says. For part of his prep work, he spent “countless hours” consuming Romanian folklore podcasts and YouTube videos. “There’s a whole giant subgenre of a rabbit hole where you can just dive into with people reading ancient texts, and the whole kind of mythology around it. And of course, Robert’s intention with this one was to bring it back to this Transylvanian folklore version.”
Eggers says, “First was finding the voice. And also, I didn’t want this spider-hand thing [resting] on the chest. We were trying to flush that stuff away, but we found that in the audition process.”
Then Eggers presented Skarsgård with the look of the monster, but Skarsgård was taken aback. “Bill sees the sculpt of the bust and he freaks out, and he’s like, ‘That doesn’t look anything like me, this guy didn’t look like me when he was even alive. What the f*ck?’ He wasn’t mean, but he was alarmed. And I was like, ‘Well, that’s the point, that you’re totally transforming into somebody else.’ And then, he’s putting the makeup on and he’s like, ‘Ugh, I look like a goblin. This is terrible.’ And then, once they put the hair on, even though the makeup wasn’t totally finished, I saw the first moment when he was like, ‘OK, this is cool. This is a person.’ I started to see him in the mirror, playing around, trying to do something.
“That was the next step of enjoying who the character was and could be,” he continues. “I think it was the second full makeup and costume test, Bill entered, took his mark, and it was like, ‘Orlok’s there. He’s there.’
The voice of the vampire was Hoult and Depp’s first impression of Skarsgård in character. “Rob had a recording of Bill’s voice,” Hoult says, “and that was fascinating, because even through just a phone speaker in the rehearsal room, it was like it got through to your bones, and it was unexpected, but then made perfect sense. You’re like, ‘Oh, of course that’s how he would sound if he was this nobleman who had been dead for 200 years.’ It was otherworldly, but rounded in history, and truth, and so that was exciting.”
But that voice and Orlok’s appearance were not easy to achieve. Sometimes the full make-up would take six hours. Skarsgård says: “To create that voice it was just a heavy labor of a performance. The prosthetics took forever. Everything was very uncomfortable. You were very hot and you were very itchy and sticky. And then for me to just being able to use that voice that we worked so hard on, there was a whole regimen every morning. Not only every morning, but between every take. Between every scene, there was a whole routine that I built up in order to access the voice.”
Says Eggers, “What’s very interesting is not just the physical transformation, not just all the vocal work that he did, but the darkness that he needed to actually inhabit. It sounds silly, but it was real. He told me the kind of things he was thinking about, and it was frightening. And I’m glad he was able to go there. It wouldn’t have worked otherwise.”
In fact, Skarsgård felt deeply haunted by the experience, so much so, that even the film itself began to seem very dark to him. “I became very obsessed… I was so in that mind state that I felt this is pure evil. I felt that the movie was evil. I think that felt like we were doing some sort of evil, dark, magic sorcery at times. I certainly don’t feel that way about the movie now that it’s complete. I think it’s actually beautiful. It’s scary and it’s horrific, but there’s also a lot of beauty in it. And it’s sensual and sexual and it hits on so many different layers. But in terms of reaching out as far as humanly possible away from yourself, and gathering whatever it is that you can gather, and just transforming yourself, this is, I think, probably as far as I’ll go in my entire career.”
•At a camera test Depp met Skarsgård in costume for the first time. “I remember thinking, ‘This is genuinely scary as hell, to be just next to him in a room, so I can’t imagine how it’s going to read on screen.’ He was genuinely petrifying-looking, and then, once we started actually shooting the movie, it was otherworldly, because, like everything in a Robert Eggers movie, the detail—the way they made his skin look and feel, the costume, the whole thing—feels so real, and it feels like a total nightmare. That’s what I think is so unsettling about it: it’s not just like looking at a monster; it’s like there’s something very human about him, which I think makes it all the more terrifying.”
•Hoult had not seen Skarsgård in the full Orlok regalia until shooting the scene when he first enters the castle. “I think that’s part of the genius of how it unravels in the story as well,” Hoult notes, “because for that first interaction, we’re so far apart, he’s just a silhouette. And through that first scene that we do, when we walk into the castle, you don’t really see him. It’s kind of that thing where you’re like, ‘Oh, I know I feel uneasy,’ but Tom is too polite. He’s not the person that’s going to be like, ‘Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up.’ It’s all kind of a weird fever dream, what’s happening, but it’s like, ‘Oh, I’ve got to continue this. This is what I need to do.’”
“There’s a wonderful moment where, through some camera trickery, Bill’s standing at the end of the table,” he recalls, “and then it pans over to me, and then he’s moved around, and he’s actually peering right over my shoulder. There are these beautiful moments where there’s all these things that add up to being like, ‘Oh, this is horrible, and weird, and I should get out of there,’ but, in the moment, because you can’t quite tell what’s happening, it’s kind of spooky, and the tension builds better through that.”
•Hoult laughs as he recalls his own interaction with the rodents. “I remember when I was opening the casket, and Bill’s laying in there, and there were rats in there, so he was locked in there with rats and I was like, ‘I’m going to keep getting this wrong, so he has to do it more and more.’ When we first burst into that room, there were the 5,000 rats, and then they were almost like a carpet.” He laughs. “Rat rugs. That’s what I’ll be selling on my Etsy store.”
•And then there are also the maggots. In a scene where she touches the vampire’s skin, Ellen’s finger seems to dig into something rotten. “Rob was asking me to feel these crevices in his back that were filled with maggots, like there were literally maggots on him,” Depp says. Were they real maggots? “I think there was a question of real maggots, at some point.”
#bill skarsgard#bill skarsgård#nosferatu#deadline#article#interview#robert eggers#lily rose depp#nicholas hoult#willem dafoe#emma corrin#aaron taylor johnson
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I don’t really like the direction that they want to go with Kit after the annual. His reason for wanting to manufacture problems for Surge comes out of worry that they’ll kill Eggman and then there will be no one left to save. And I’m like, “No, you fucking won’t.” How could Kit get it into his brain that they could stand a chance at killing Eggman when Sonic and friends—who have bested them at every turn—haven't been able to do it yet? It doesn’t make any sense. Kit is supposed to be the smart one. He wasn’t just made to do tech stuff; Starline made him to look before Surge leaps by making plans based on facts and logic. But as it stands, it would be far more logical if Kit wanted to manufacture scenarios where Surge can easily win because he thinks she isn’t capable of defeating Eggman and facing him would be too dangerous for her. But that would be bad too, because aren’t these guys supposed to be some kind of threat? The writers seem to want us to judging by how they have them strike a cool pose at the end of their story. But, how am I supposed to take them seriously if their next arc seems to imply that they’re going to be isolated from the game cast, basically playing pretend until Surge catches on and they just hug it out or something because the writers decided to get rid of all of Surge’s violent impulses despite that being what made her entertaining to begin with?
Not to mention, where is this scheming side of Kit coming from? Ride out of left field; that’s where. At no point is it built up that Kit would work behind Surge’s back. Almost every appearance Kit has had until that point has established that Kit is completely incapable of doing anything on his own. He either needs someone else's validation or someone else's assistance. Why should I even be taking this oh so dark development seriously? Because this coming is garbage, we haven’t seen Kit successfully execute a single plan. In the very same story, we see how little the writers take Kit seriously. Despite Kit being the designated smart one, he underestimates the force of the rail tram's weight and gets pulled down with it. Starline made Kit to be the planner, but because this comic doesn’t understand how to write villains, there isn’t a single point where this is shown. It’s so stupid. They have Clutch constantly intimidating everyone despite having none of the means to hurt them. Then, you have Surge and Kit, characters who have all of the means to pose a threat, but the comic doesn’t let them do anything. Because the writers are lazy. They feel that because Surge and Kit have been built up as Sonic and Tails’ doppelgängers with all of these crazy cool powers, they feel they can rely solely on tell don’t show and don't have to bother giving them any impressive feats. And it works. The fans of this comic eat up this slop and ask for seconds because they subsist solely off of vibes, which yell don’t show easily provides, while everyone with a brain is banging their head against the wall because how are we supposed to believe that Kit can reliably manipulate Surge when, because of this comic's stupidity, we haven’t seen him do anything of value yet? But then again, he probably can. Because Surge has been built up as equally brain dead and able to change based on the writer’s whims.
I hate this comic so much. One of the main reasons I remained invested in this comic is because of Surge and Kit. But now, their next arc is basically going to be them playing in a ball pit, completely separate from the rest of the cast as they literally play pretend with no stakes. I don’t even like these characters anymore because their dynamic is almost the exact opposite of how it was introduced, despite them hardly actually doing anything with the said original dynamic. All of their buildup in imposter syndrome basically amounted to one issue, and from there, their character consistency dropped off the side of a cliff. How am I supposed to remain invested in these characters when they introduce character change after character change? Surge is nicer to Kit now. This change happened for no reason. Kit wants to manipulate Surge now. This change happened for no reason. The writers for this comic don’t know what an arc is, nor do they know that originally made the characters they created appealing, as shown by their characterization being all over the place. The people who like this comic don’t know either. Even though the characters are completely different from the ones I got invested in, their upcoming arc might actually be really interesting if they make it into an uncomfortable psychological thriller. But even that would be kind of boring because they already tried that in imposter syndrome. That, and that’s not what Sonic is about. Sonic is about action. Stuff like imposter syndrome served it’s purpose by being build up to the action rather than being the end goal. But there is no end goal with this comic. They’re just going to keep blue ballsing me over and over again. Never letting the only characters I currently like in this comic do anything (because it’s not like I can enjoy the game characters when they’re so out of characters). Anyways, I’m going to go back to writing my fic involving Surge and Kit where they’re actually competent so I can finally get some catharsis for all of the investment I’ve put into those characters that the comic that created them is too lazy and incompetent to give me. Rant over.
Yeah it's hard to interpret this page as being anything but Ian Flynn shitting on the video games and basically saying "lol MY super cool awesome anti hero OCs would be able to kill Eggman whenever they waaaaaaaant~" like he had to try and invent a reason why Surge and Kit WOULDN'T just go and kill Eggman or something.
Like, You and I both know that if Surge and Kit tried to go kill Eggman, he'd just turn them into bloody smears on the floor. Effortlessly. With his bare hands.
But that's not how Ian Flynn would write such a confrontation. And we know this because we've already seen how this comic would write a confrontation between Surge and Eggman
Because this comic is written By people who hate Sonic, For people who hate Sonic.
And yeah the whole manipulative toxic schemer thing for Kit really comes out of nowhere. There isn't any set up for it even in Imposter Syndrome. Like it's pretty obvious that Ian Flynn is COMPLETELY ignoring everything Evan Stanley wrote for these characters and is crafting their dialog in that Annual issue based on HIS ideas for what HE wanted to happen to Surge and Kit after issue #50 even though that is obviously not what happened in the comic.
Personally I'm still pissed we didn't actually get a Surge and Kit vs Sonic and Tails fight.
Fucking liar. We did not get Sonic and Tails vs Surge and Kit. We got Sonic vs Surge and Tails vs Kit. We never got Sonic and Tails vs Surge and Kit.
Because this comic is dogshit.
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I NEED to rant about the trigun stampede designs in comparison with trigun 1998 because like… they had so much potential and the show threw it out the window or something.
(Edit: i haven’t read the manga so the mole thing doesn’t stand much but, again, this is only compared to ‘98 so plss dont attack me guys i swear i liked stampede)
rant, spoilers (?) + photo evidence under the cut
Tbh Knives/Vash bother me most, esp during their childhood. In tri98, they look almost identical at first, with only difference their hair color (Vash’s is more of a saturated blonde while Knives’ is closer bleach-blonde), and the mole under Vash’s left eye. Later on Vash get his hair cut and styled in spikes by Rem, while Knives takes liberty and cuts his own hair military-style. That’s about when they start to have individuality. This individuality reflects on their actions, with Vash trying to free a butterfly from a spiderweb, and Knives just killing the spider, thinking it's the most rational solution.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d87415943a00257a7c409633c439e614/1b011a8aaaa0320d-1c/s540x810/48e35fa857838a837267781e6ccd3008d58159f6.webp)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/804ee134def9b99392b63fb1e203f7bf/1b011a8aaaa0320d-38/s540x810/9e8d83da69d6ae0b9455bf2c4dc5a9f2cec53362.jpg)
In tristamp, they lack any kind of individuality, with the twins having mirrored haircuts and Knives a mole under his right eye, which really really doesn’t make sense to me; I thought the mole was supposed to represent the flawed, more human nature of Vash (just like his scars), and the absence of it on Knives’ face to be a reminder that he is, for that reason, better, almost perfect and, most definitely, not human. (Edit: guys I’ve been informed it exists in the manga but I’d still like it if it didn’t)
With that they lose every kind of individuality, and it doesn't make sense for them to look so different while they're adults however having similar hairstyles despite not seeing each other for years.
(not even going to mention the fact that they made him dead pale in stampede and instead of increasing his melanin and making his hair lighter they lightened both skin and hair color but it's not relevant to this kind of analysis and just a stylistic choice i guess)
As adults in tri98 they keep their hairstyles and Knives keeps a more military-looking outfit, which looks a whole lot like the SEEDS outfit they wore when abandoning the ship, while Vash has this super over-the-top outfit with the red coat and all. Tristamp keeps the idea of Knives wearing a similar outfit and Vash going crazy with his fit, but by doing so they made both of them look insanely different and inhuman, Vash looking too clean, with technical, expensive-looking, new clothing, and Knives just straight up looking strange. Nothing about his outfit even suggests human.
For Knives I don't think the point is to look human, so it doesn't matter, but Vash is too odd-looking to be considered one of the humans, while his goal is just this; to look super cool but still human enough. In tri98 this communicates well, but not in tristamp.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a4f1d566d364ee1fbe5d78c88d4505d6/1b011a8aaaa0320d-5c/s1280x1920/000a676a142ae714d56872d48bea9e36f38b8a23.webp)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9169a202d90ddfcf245a49c0b4fb3189/1b011a8aaaa0320d-ec/s540x810/4f7f462ba206e4f2f49b531a69ad6d1720a0d6be.webp)
(i couldn't find a pic of knives as a kid w the uniform but its the same as vash's)
Also, they're built so differently... Vash looks like a 17 year old kid and Knives looks over 25, their bodies should look the same (they're Plants after all) but with Knives being stronger in terms of power and skill, not having abs.
Basically the main problem is that the designs rely a lot on the aesthetics but not the practicality/lore-accuracy of them. I know tristamp is not meant to follow the original plot line, it just makes me a little insane how little the relationships between the characters were incorporated into these designs.
#sorry for this i just had to get it out my system#my friends suffered this rant incoherently so i had the obligation to write an actual thing and post it on tumblr#rant#i need someone to talk abt this to#i dont know if it makes sense i sort of gave up during the end#trigun#trigun 1998#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#knives millions#millions knives
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REALLY?! U WANNA KNOW SUBJECT 2 HCS FROM LIL OLD ME?! HEHEHE I THOUGHT YOUD NEVER ASK!!!
I like to think his name is Dorian :3 leakers were digging in the files a while back and found out that the texture for his model is called “Dorian” so that’s where it came from. Dorian is Greek for “gift”, but also comes from the name Doerain, which means “wanderer” or “exile” which I think is sad but fitting LMAO. (Dorian is also in reference to Oscar Wilde’s novel, The Picture of Dorian Gray. If ur interested u should look into it, bc I’d butcher the summary lol)
I like to think that bros a more feral version of Albedo. Albedo is domesticated, Dorian is not HFHDH. He’s much easier to anger, but he wouldn’t put up a fight unless provoked or attacked first.
The reason…he was never trained in any kind of sword fighting style. He can swing a sword around but there’s a 1/99 chance that it would actually hurt someone.
I gave him a Cryo vision bc I mean. Just look at him. That pathetic little mess of a guy is the archetype for Cryo. I like to think he’s a catalyst user (and his best weapon is “Frostbearer” and he relies on it more than his sword hehe. Playstyle wise I’d make him scale off of ATK to contrast Albedo’s DEF scaling)
For his relationships, he prefers Klee’s more upbeat and bouncy nature. She doesn’t seem to mind that he’s not Albedo, and treats him like a brother regardless. He’d take her fishblasting any day <3
Albedo…he’s wary around. Even if they were to make up and all that, his vibe around would probably be very much the feeling you get when you go over to a friend’s house and you feel like you have to impress their parents in order to be allowed in. Does that make sense?? Basically he’s walking on eggshells even if Albedo tells him he’s fine LMAO
While he’s made his appearance a bit different from Albedo (red/maroon/black color scheme, hair either down on his shoulders or in a low and messy braid, and a little thinner than Albedo due to Albedo having built up muscle from sword-wielding), sometimes he switches back to Albedo’s form to mess with people. Specifically the Traveler. He’s a little prankster!!
Even tho he’s used to the cold, he loves warmth. U light up a fire and Dorian will sit so close his hair will singe at the edges. He also loves spicy food <3 (when he lived in Dragonspine he ate like. Unseasoned roasted meat and snow. So he craves any kind of flavor now)
I hc him as aro-ace, and also nonbinary for some fics I write :D I mostly do that just to differentiate between Albedo and him (I write him without a name sometimes so using the “he/him” pronouns twice over without stating who’s speaking is very complicated so I use “they/them” for ease of reading) but also bc I feel like. After 500 years of sleeping in poison dragon tummy soup, one would sort of dissociate from the whole gender thing.
Hehehehehe there u go there’s some hcs 👉👈 I love my little guy he’s so sad and I LOOOOOVE the angst potential with him. Lmk what u think :D
uwahhhh those are yummy, thank you for the snacks 😋
Idk what to say there, just know that your HCs are valid! Some of them, like how rocky his relationship with Albedo is, are something i do think of too! Like yeh they cool, but that doesn't erase the fact Albedo is the favourite child. And and and the fact he likes flavours like spicy- I think he doesn't like very sweet things either
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I’ve been listening to old banters to get the rhythm of how Solas talks, and I’m gonna word vomit a little on his relationships with the Inner Circle. Long rambling post so under a cut.
Solas and Cole’s interactions are wonderful. They’re speaking the same language, they don’t need clarifying questions to get what the other is talking about, and with Cole we actually see the wisdom (“Wisdom”??) part of Solas on full blast. And since they’re speaking this weird language, Solas is more Solas than he is with anyone else. I also love how he talks Cole down from a panic attack, it’s a little thing but so wonderful. A big question is does Cole know exactly who Solas was? Possibly debatable, but I like to think he does and just doesn’t see it as something that’s his to reveal like how he kept Blackwall’s secret. That’s why the Solas post-Inquisition mindwipe is both necessary from Solas’ perspective and so incredibly violating (and sort of retconned with Trespasser?? maybe proximity to a full power Solas took the edge off it, or it was only ever a stop gap, or the writers tried to water it down which would suck). Speaking of, no one reacts to the more minor mindwipe Solas does in the post-breakup banter with a romanced Lavellan. This random apostate mage just changes the channel on Cole’s empathic read and no one is like ‘hang the fuck on a minute, he just out-spirited a spirit.’
Aside from Cole, Solas and Varric are the friendliest of his interactions, but I like that it’s not all sunshine and roses. Solas has his (frequently racist) viewpoints that he dumps on Varric, but Varric pushes right back without ever becoming antagonistic. It’s a clash of two competing world views and the wisdom that comes with it, built on lived experiences. They’ve both been around the block and come out of it with different ideas, but they can talk about it as mature adults. Some (or all) of this is attributable to Varric’s charisma rather than Solas’. He’s friends with everyone (except maybe Sebastian lol). If anyone was gonna crack Solas’ cold veneer of disinterest, it’d be Varric.
My favorite interactions he has are with Bull and Vivienne. They’re wildly different in tone, but the foundation is similar - both Vivienne and Bull know he’s withholding something, and they dig on it until he deflects (sometimes well, sometimes less so). Solas recognizes Bull’s intelligence and skills at observation, which is nice for a guy who'll be casually racist to a Tal Vashoth inquisitor as a "compliment." They're kind of bros, as much as Solas can be a bro with someone. Plus, the chess game is my favorite thing in Inquisition. But Solas' banter with Vivienne is just the best. He’s soo bitchy and sarcastic, and neither of them back down from their opposing views. Even with a few moments of agreement, they are diametrically opposed and a ton of fun. They're also not at all wrong about each other - could it be that, gasp! both their world views are wrong?? But she clearly reminds him of the Evanuris, which is a nice insight. And as an aside, Solas with his hackles raised, or low approval, gives so much more away about his personality than you can just find in high approval or less antagonistic dialogue. I like the edge to it. I'm realizing my Solas is basically a low approval Solas who is occasionally nice, and I'm cool with it.
His interactions with Dorian are a slightly more one-sided antagonism on Solas’ part. Dorian means well and tries to reach across the aisle, and Solas generally shuts him down. Dorian’s viewpoint makes sense, but so does Solas’. Dorian is beloved and rightfully so, I love him more than I love Solas. But as much as he’s trying to do better, he’s still got a ways to go, and Solas never fully lets him off the hook. I do think Dorian gets there by the end of the game, at least in recognizing that he can't just help with one thing, he needs to go as big as he can until it kills him. And frankly Solas' expectations of him (free all the slaves elven and non in Tevinter) aren't entirely grounded in the reality of a mortal lifespan. But he still should act.
Something that isn’t talked about much is his relationship to Cassandra, which I really like. It’s built on mutual respect, and they both hold their ground on things without getting antagonistic. Cassandra’s occasional “the Maker would give you comfort” rankles me for personal reasons, but he takes it in stride and never dismisses her over it. It’s who she is and it comes from a place of earnestness instead of proselytizing. They’re not friendly, per se, but they don't have to be. It's the best kind of strictly business, coworker relationship you could ask for.
Solas’ relationship with Blackwall is also great, because it starts from a place like ‘two veterans walk into a bar’ sort of camaraderie and ends with ‘this person is a mirror of what i hate that i am’. Solas at least admits that his initial anger re: Blackwall’s lie was wrong, but I think he was more angry that Blackwall ended up being just like him rather than a better version of him. But also how tf did the god of lies etc. not clock Blackwall’s cagey ass before the reveal. Solas is so bad at his job (and yes I know the none of them were gods and all the labels are propaganda and mythologizing but that's less fun than shitting on the god of lies for being shit at lying).
His interactions with Sera are frustrating, but not for what they are, more for the lack of follow up. There’s something odd going on with Sera that seems more than his usual ‘are these elves real elves’ bullshit. But we don’t get anything more than the cryptic stuff he (and Cole) say to her, and some bits sprinkled into her story. Sera’s a frustrating character for me in general because it feels like the writers sort of forgot the seeds they were planting, or figured they’d save it for something that never happened. It might just be me, but I felt like I was waiting for another shoe to drop that never did. I’d like Veilguard to explore it, and maybe it will, but I’m not holding my breath. But, Solas also outlines the entire philosophy and practice of his rebellion when he’s talking to her which is awesome, especially leading into Veilguard where we might get more context.
Those are my deep thoughts. I want to do a deep dive word vomit on his relationship with each evanuris, but a lot of that will be speculation that's likely to be changed by Veilguard so we'll see. We know pretty much jack shit about his feelings on Sylaise and June (aside from my eternal soft spot for June after theshirallen's portrayal).
#long post is very long and rambly#i needed to get these thoughts on paper so i can better articulate them later#i did make a post about this 6 years ago but now im old and changed my mind some#i used to be more committed to sprinkling in iambic pentameter and then weekes said its SORT OF iambic pentameter so now im like fuck it#i cant learn the kd lang hallelujah cadence i have a full time job#headcanons#INQUISITION |
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