#that was a good purchase and i stand by that

[wannabanauthor]

I have a fix-it idea for BuckTommy:

Tommy regrets his decision the moment he says “Buck” and leaves.

Once he’s in his truck, he just sits there, not moving from the spot. Everything was fine just a few minutes ago.

Did he act too impulsively? Was he just scared and running away?

It takes him a good 30 minutes before his mind is quiet enough for him to start up his truck and drive home.

The moment he steps into his house, he breaks down in gut-wrenching sobs.

He knows that he made the wrong choice by ending things, but that little bit of truth is buried in so much darkness that he can’t possibly see a way out.

He grabs a beer from his fridge and pauses. Evan had purchased a six pack for him when he noticed Tommy was running low.

Fuck, Tommy already misses him. The pain consumes his entire soul, and he sits on his couch holding the ice cold beer while tears stream down his face.

Before he can muster up the courage to take a sip, the doorbell rings.

He sets the beer down, and goes to open the door.

He was too messed up to even check the peephole.

Maybe the gods or the universe were working in his favor, because he opens the door and comes face to face with Evan. Had he looked through the peephole, he wouldn’t have had the strength to open the door.

Evan is standing in front of him with red puffy eyes, and dried tears on his cheeks. He looks up at Tommy with the most heartbroken expression, and Tommy can’t help himself.

He grabs Evan by the shirt and pulls him closer before claiming his lips with a searing kiss.

It felt so good to feel him again, to taste him again.

Evan gives off a slight moan, and Tommy is lost in him.

They’re not gentle with each other they strip down while keeping their mouths fused together.

Tommy refuses to break contact. He longs to be lost in Evan once more.

They barely make it to his bedroom, but they make it. Evan doesn’t want to let go of him either.

The sex is intense and desperate. Neither one of them wants to let go of this feeling. Neither one of them wants to deal with the whirlwind emotions of heartbreak.

They cling to each other the entire time, for as long as possible, until they can’t go on any longer.

Rather than discussing what happened, they just pretend to fall asleep without talking to each other. Eventually, sleep finds them, but it’s anything but relaxing.

Tommy wakes up alone. Not sure if last night really happened or if it all was just a dream. He pulls some gym clothes on, ready to exercise so hard that he won’t have to think about Evan.

But as soon as he enters the living room, he sees Evan sitting at the dining room table looking just as lost and hurt as he did last night.

Evan looks up at him with a small smile and says, “We need to talk.”

Tommy wants to run again, but he fights it this time and joins Evan at the table. Maybe this time, he’ll hear him out.

Maybe this time, he’ll face his fears and fight for Evan just as hard as Evan will fight for him.

[sweetbunpura]

Rollo tries to propose to Yuu but everyone tries to sabotage him 😈

LMAO, Rollo has to get through so many people just to propose to Yuu!

Rollo vs NRC

The fourth year had come, gone, and they NRC students had returned to the school to graduate. Rollo had spent his apprentice in Fleur city, learning about all he could with his new found interest in volunteer work and planning for his future... in more ways than one. He had purchased a ring, intending to propose to the love of his life at the graduation. Him and Yuu had only grown closer in the time apart, which was a surprise to Rollo, for he had heard how many couples had struggled with long distance relationships.

Outside of phone calls, Rollo had not see her for a year, so had had no idea how much she had changed. Taking a deep breath, he stepped through the portal and into the Mirror Chamber. Other 4th years were in there and chatting among one another, most paid him no mind....but he halted as a call of his name sounded.

"Roll-kun!" Cater waved him over.

Rollo approached him and took in the ginger's new looks. Cater had stayed the same height but his hair was different, he had dyed red locks on top of his longer hair. He wrapped him up in a hug and smiled.

"Look at you! Your hair has really grown out! Yuu-chan's gonna love it."

Rollo gave a soft smile and dragged his fingers through his long gray hair. "Thank you, Cater."

"And a smile too? She really changed you~"

"Indeed." Rollo patted his pocket and felt the box against it. "Now if you'll excuse me-"

"Going to see Child of Man with that ring?"

Rollo jolted and sighed as he turned around to see a smiling Malleus. "Malleus...."

"Hello, Flamme." Malleus gave a small bow. "Am I right in assuming you plan on asking her to marry you?"

"Wait, no kidding!?"

Rollo sighed and nodded. "I am. Now, I'm off to go find her. Farewell."

He left, complete unaware of Malleus and Cater smiling at each other. From there, Rollo could not find Yuu anywhere, and everyone he had asked had pointed him in various opposite directions. Idia and Ortho had straight up lied to him, stating that Yuu wasn't even here to begin with. Silver and Sebek just shook their heads and said that she might be else where, just not on campus. And yet everywhere else had wielding the results of "I don't know"

He was getting frustrated at this point, but before he could even think of where else to go, the announcement for the graduation started. With a sigh, he went to the podium and waiting for eveything to start.

Once the ceremony ended, he departed the stage and was about to start looking for her again, he got tackled.

"Enough of this!" Rollo glared at Deuce, Ace, and Grim. "Why is everyone so hellbent on stopping me!"

"You can't ask her to marry you." Ace grumbled.

"Yeah!" Grim added in. "She's my henchhuman and I don't want you macking on her!"

"By the sevens... We're already dating!" Rollo growled and pried the three off of him. "This is getting absurd!"

"You can't blame us..." Deuce said. "She means the world to us."

"I understand that, but she means the same to me." He sighed. "And I haven't seen her all day. We've only been communicating through calls... And I miss her terribly."

"Aw."

Rollo jolted and turned around to see Yuu standing behind him with Cater and Malleus in a headlock. She smiled warmly at her and her hair had gotten longer, they were worked into brains with hair ornaments in them.

"Love."

"Heard you been looking for me and everyone sent you on a wild goose chase." She shook Cater ad Malleus. "Thanks to these two."

"Guilty as charged~" Cater laughed.

"It was all in good fun." Malleus huffed.

"Now." She dropped them as they landed on the ground face down. "What's up?"

"I wanted to ask you something." He reached into his pocket and before he could get down on one knee to begin, the others started gathering around.

"Aw~ Snapping Turtle's gonna propose~" Floyd.

"How beautiful!" Rook.

"I'll be the one designing the dress no doubt." Vil.

"About time." Leona.

Rollo sighed as the chatter started up around him, Yuu tugged him forward by his robes.

"I know you had this all planned out, but you know how these guys are." She kissed him. "Put the ring on, the answer's gonna be yes no matter what."

Rollo opened the box and slipped the ring on her before placing his forehead on her shoulder.

"I hate them."

"No, you don't.

[evadnesworld]

a cure to jealousy- head pats, xavier x reader

c/w: probs ooc, lowercase everything, xaviers jealous, that new kitty events got me in a chokehold, sickness (cold),

youre an attractive person, xavier knows that- i mean who wouldnt want you? you had the most beautiful smile, one that reached your eyes, speaking of eyes- yours were beautiful. to xavier they were like the stars, nebulae would shy away in awe and jealousy because of your sheer beauty. you hands, hands which he could hold, nuzzle against, the same hands that gave him pats whenever and wherever were now being held by anthor.

if you asked anybody what this sight looked like, they would respond by saying it was a confession, one that was being rejected. they would pay no attention to you soft familiar hands, your dazzling eyes, and your sincere smile. but for xavier- it was all he could look like. i mean, how dare this rando think he could hold you hand without permission?

but before that, allow me to paint the picture for you.

xavier had fallen ill shortly after magically evolving into a feline, you two werent sure it was because of the transformation- but one thing was for certain, it was a bad cold. he was sweating, his cheeks red, his voice raspy- if this was a different situation, it wouldnt cause much worry. but seeing how frail he was, you had declared that you would go to the store to buy him some medicine.

and my declare, i literally mean that- not only was he clingy because he was a cat but he was clingy because he was sick. so he turned into the ultimate clingy monster.

so, you decided to venture out of your shared home to the local pharmacy, thats where you saw a fellow coworker- one who did not know you had a boyfriend.

and as you purchased the medicine and began to walk back home as you approached your door, h stoppd you- with red cheeks, and a rapid heartbeat he grabbed your hand. and as though it were only the two of you there, he yelled out "i like you, please go out with me!" and if this was a shojo manga, this wouldve been cute.

but it wasnt.

you promptly rejected him, letting go of his hands after a moment- not knowing that your boyfriend lingered by your door, seeing all of this unfold.

after you had left, he decided to take a nap- but not seeing you, or feeling your presence made him pout. his ears ringing, his hart thumping, making so much noise that most of his thoughts were drowned out. but one lingered, and this thought was about you and your absence.

he decided to get up, and wait by the door, no matter how many weird stares he got from neighbors wondering by this sickly boy was standing by the door for so long.

you stopped when you saw him before smiling, a smile which instantly disappeared as he looked away with a pout.

"have you already decided to abandon me so quickly? youre so quick to hold the hand of others, but ever since i got sick youve kept your distance from me." his ears dropped as he crossed his arms, tilting his chin down for an added effect.

you walked over to him, not without chuckling- which wasnt taken well. his ears seemed to droop even more now.

"xav, it was just a guy from work, i rejected him- he was nowhere near as good as you." you teased as you brought your hand to pat his head, this was also not well recieved. he turned his head away, rejecting the pats even though thats what he desperately craved for at the moment.

you ushered him inside the house and turned to him once more as the door closed, "dont worry xav, my hearts only with you. but if you insist that it isnt then ill hav no choice but to leave." you let out a fake somber sigh,

to say this alarmed xavier was an understatement, because that pout soon turned into a frown. if it was any other day, hed insist- but with this horrible cold that decided to attack him, he leaned into your touch with defeat.

and it was there when you felt the familiar softness of his hair as he allowed you to stroke his ears once more. he sounded as though he was purring- your touch made him melt. his body slumping against yours as you two made your way to your shared bed. and after giving him medicine, he clung onto your like there was no tomorrow.

and you too had to accept defeat as you laid with him, his breaths slowing as he surrender to his drowsiness- peaceful now that you were by his side and not somebody elses. content with your warmth, and more than content that hed spend the rest of his life with you.

at least he hoped he would.

dividers from @/nicodefresas and @/konatasoup

how do i improve this story? i know hes ooc, but what would make him less ooc?

[mendeshoney]

rough ride, hold on tight

a/n: this is a part three to "a taste of the devine," and you can read part one here and part two here! this is all because of @smileysvech and her moodboard. gif is courtesy of @pyotrkochetkov because I think it contributes to remind you all how broad this man is, for absolutely no particular reason. title is from "railway" by bang chan of stray kids.

summary: andrei buys a new car, and you both take it out on a test drive.

word count: 8,680

tags: five year age gap, older woman x younger man, fluff, l-bombs, previously established dynamics (including msub x fdom dynamics, switch, mdom x fsub dynamics - in this fic, mainly mdom x fsub, andrei is a pleasure dom/service dom if you can't tell), smut, morning sex, oral sex, drool/spit kink, car sex and therefore semi-public sex, penetration, finish inside, unprotected sex

Russian terms used (bearing in mind the author does not speak Russian and definitely Google’d these) can be referenced here.

***the events in piece this are pure fiction and are potentially dangerous, therefore please drive responsibly (ya filthy animals)

You purse your lips, eyes flicking up between Andrei and his sheepish smile, and back toward the brand new cherry red Lamborghini Urus sitting in the driveway behind him. It's sleek, shining in the Raleigh sun, and the sparkle of the rims in the afternoon light screams dollar signs back at you.

You absolutely do not sigh.

The only reason you recognize the car is because you’d seen Andrei looking it up on his phone a few times over the last couple of weeks, and now that it’s in front of you, you don’t know how you didn’t put two and two together before. 

From where you stand inside your shared three car garage, your Range Rover rests on your right, and Andrei's black Mercedes S-Class and his green BMW sit in the other two spots to your left. 

Andrei’s new toy is definitely not going to fit in here. 

"I traded my other Lambo in for this one," he explains, the smile impossibly wide on his lips.

"Who is it for?" You ask, though you don’t know why, considering it’s obvious, and Andrei flashes you a kilowatt smile.

"It's mine!" He exclaims. "You can use it too, obviously, if you want to. You can use any of my cars, you know that." 

You hum noncommittally, glancing at the car again, then back at your clearly very excited boyfriend.

"Well?" He asks, antsy, practically bouncing on the heels of his feet.

"It's really nice, malysh." You say honestly, because it is a very nice car, despite being far less discrete than the other two sitting next to you. It's also subtly flashier than his last one, and certainly more roomy. His old Lambo was a classic two-door, two-seater deal.

At least this one has a backseat.

"But...?" He asks, taking a step closer to you. 

You shrug, welcoming him when he wraps his arms around your waist. "Does Daniel know?"

Andrei scrunches his nose. Daniel's his accountant, who Andrei is usually good at calling before he makes big purchases like this. "It wouldn't be here if I didn't call him."

You pinch his side lightly, "Don't get sassy, I'm just making sure."

"I'm not," he protests, the slight whine in his voice not going unnoticed. "But you don't like it."

You frown, shaking your head, "That's not true, I said it was really nice."

"That doesn't mean that you like it." Andrei points out.

Carefully, you withdraw from his embrace and lean back against the door of your Ranger Rover. You consider your words carefully, because you know what it means to him to be able to spoil you, his family, and himself. But this is...well, kind of a lot. 

He surprised you with the Range Rover for your birthday, which you had been eternally grateful for - your thighs throb a little with the memory of just how thoroughly you'd thanked him for it - but that was only a couple of months ago. 

And a month before that - when you agreed to move in together as opposed to continuing the long sleepovers at the other's house - he'd moved the two of you into your current home. It had a three car garage, huge backyard, and a master bedroom with the most ridiculously large bathroom you'd ever seen in your life.

So this was a bit…well…

You weren’t the kind of person who dictated how others lived their lives or spent their money. And it wasn’t like Andrei didn’t have money.

But, you remember a conversation the two of you had early on in your relationship. Andrei held you tight in his arms as you lounged on a chair by his pool, gazing at the stars as his fire pit kept you both warm. He’d told you about his upbringing, about the things his parents did and how much they sacrificed for him and his brother to keep them safe so that they’d be able to pursue their dreams.

He told you about what it was like to feel the want for things, both out of survival and desire. He told you about how being in the position he was in empowered him to give back to his family and to himself to make sure he never felt that want ever again.

So…

While you understood all of that, the shiny new car in front of you still gives you pause. 

“As long as you’re happy,” you say, “then I’m happy with it.”

Andrei stares, considering the - what you hope is neutral - expression on your face. Whatever he sees there doesn’t convince him though, so he pulls you back to him, looping his arms around your waist and pressing his lips to your forehead.

“You trust me don't you?” he asks. 

You're nodding without a second's worth of hesitation. "Of course I do."

"Then I'll show you it's worth it."

You’re not entirely sure what he means, or how he plans on doing that, but you nod anyway, tilting your head back so you can kiss the sharp angle of his jaw. “Okay, malysh. But you’d better park that new ride in the garage. You can move my car into the driveway.”

~

There’s a delicate caress to your waist that coaxes you from your mid morning nap, followed by gentle kisses that trace the line of your jaw, then neck. 

You stir, exhaustion still running rampant in your body, shifting to lay on your back.

"Kroshka," Andrei murmurs. You feel when he makes his way under the covers, lifting up his shirt that you wore to bed to expose your bare lower half.

He carefully rests your thighs over his shoulders, placing kisses to each as he goes, before you feel a kiss to your sternum, your belly, and then a kiss to your core, before he hums to himself, content. His hands rest on your waist, fingers gripping your body in a way that anchors him to you.

His tongue is warm and gentle against your skin when he takes his first taste, and you stir a little more, back arching in a stretch.

Andrei makes a soft noise to calm you, reassure you, and you smile, hands disappearing under the covers. Your fingers tangle in his hair, and you can feel when he smiles against you. He tilts his head to meet the touch of your other hand, where you gently caress his cheek, thumbing against his jaw. 

"My love," you say sweetly, and he presses a kiss to your palm.

"My love" he says in turn, turning back to your pussy. You welcome the open mouthed kisses he presses there, the long and filthy licks he gives you in between, moaning when he sucks your clit into his mouth, rubbing his tongue against it in a way that makes you dizzy.

You arch into his mouth, both hands diving into his hair as you giggle, scratching gently at his scalp. 

"Won't you come up here and kiss me properly?" You tease, tugging lightly at the strands before your hands fall to your sides.

He laughs, pressing noisy kisses to your skin. Andrei wiggles dramatically, your thighs still draped over his shoulders as his head pops out from under the covers, body bending you in half a little. His hair is a mess from your hands, lips pink and wet, smile dazzling you.

You can't help but think of how cute he looks like this.

"Hi beautiful." He says, eyes crinkling with his smile.

You return his smile with a bright one of your own, arms reaching out for him. "Hi handsome.”

“Have a good nap?” 

You nod, “I did. Can I have a kiss?"

He goes to you, eager as always. Your arms wrap around his neck, fingers dancing at his nape. His kiss is soft, gentle at first, like he’s coaxing you to fully wake up, drawing the exhaustion from you with his mouth. Your lips fit together like puzzle pieces as they move, exchanging delicate kisses back and forth as the mid morning sun creeps in through a small gap in the curtains.

It’s not long before you’re more awake, more aware of the fire pooling in your belly, and your tongue teases at the seam of his lips, turning your kisses dirty in an instant.

You moan when you can taste yourself on his lips, head going dizzy. He moves his arms, allowing your legs to drop from his shoulders so you can wrap them around his naked waist.

You lock your ankles at the small of his back, arching into him, pussy rubbing against his hard cock. He’d worn briefs to bed, and after you two went for a run this morning, then came back to shower and eat breakfast, he’d changed again, and was definitely dressed before your nap, but had clearly shed them before he decided to wake you.

Little shit. 

You’re usually sensitive in the mornings anyway, so when his cock brushes against your folds, Andrei grinding himself against you, and your nipples brush against the fabric of your sleep shirt as you press against his bare chest, you feel yourself getting wetter, mouth dropping open in a whine.

He makes the already filthy kiss filthier when he slips his tongue in your mouth, caressing it against your own, almost massaging it. You reciprocate, and he takes you by surprise when he sucks on your tongue, Andrei moaning in approval.

The noises his mouth makes as he sucks on your tongue echo in your brain, bouncing around the edges and intensifying the haze of arousal. Andrei presses his hips tighter against you, the slide of his cock up and down along your pussy getting easier and more slippery with each passing second.

The haze clears for a second when you feel the head of his cock catch at your entrance, and your hands trail from the back of his neck to his shoulders, pushing at him. He parts from you with a small dissatisfied noise, breathing heavily through his nose as he gazes down at you.

“Are you going to be good for me, shchenok?” You murmur, one hand coming up to cup his chin, thumb gently rubbing against his bottom lip.

He nods, pressing a kiss to the pad of your thumb.  

"If you make me come," you start, sugary sweet. "You'll get a reward today."

Andrei's eyes flutter shut, turning his mouth to suck lightly on the tip of your index finger, tongue delicately licking at the digit. Your finger slips out of his mouth when you pull your hands away, resting them down at your sides again.

Nothing else needs to be said as Andrei wiggles his way back under the covers, settling back between your thighs and resting them on his shoulders. His mouth latches onto your pussy without preamble, tongue dragging up through your folds to taste you before the tip of it flicks against your clit. He repeats this a few times, and it draws a pleased high pitched noise from you, arching yourself closer against his mouth.

His tongue dips into your entrance and you keen out, his name leaving your lips in a breathy moan. He rests his forearms across your abdomen, pushing down just a little to anchor you to the bed, fucking his tongue in and out of you, burying his face into your pussy, nose brushing against your clit.

"Shchenok," you sigh, lifting the hem of your shirt a little higher. You wiggle your hips, trying to ease his grip on you so you can take what you want, but he's too strong, too focused and too pussy-drunk to do anything except reach up, cupping your tits in his hands and squeezing, his arms pressing down against your stomach so he can continue fucking you with his tongue, burying his face against you, stimulating your clit with gentle bobs of his nose.

You can feel your orgasm approaching quicker than you expected, and you give into it fully, hands descending back into Andrei's hair and gripping at the strands when you come, thighs tightening around his head as your body shakes, a cry of relief tearing from you throat and echoing around the bedroom. Andrei groans at the taste of your release, lapping you up and cleaning you up with his mouth at the same time. 

After you've had the chance to calm down and catch your breath, you're quick to throw the covers back, taking in his flushed appearance and thoroughly mused hair. He climbs up your body a little, resting his head on your chest and his hands at your ribcage as you comb through his hair lightly, trying your best to tame it. 

"Happy, kroshka?" He asks, lips brushing against the bare skin of your breasts. 

"Always," you nod, pushing a happy sigh through your nose. “Do you need-”

He shakes his head. “No, I’m alright.” 

You nod. Andrei’s always been the giving type, good about not always expecting things back, but even more so the longer you two stay together.

You also did promise him a reward for later, so you suppose him holding off right now isn’t so bad.

He squeezes you, burrowing his face further into your chest. "I love you so much, you know that?" 

You smile, squeezing him back. "I do, Drei. I love you too."

You can feel his kilowatt smile more than see it, and your heart pounds behind your ribcage. You hear him hum to himself, which is his telltale sign that he's got something on his mind. So you wait him out, let him gather his thoughts. 

"Will you go somewhere with me today?" He asks finally, fingers dancing gently where they rest on your sides. It tickles a little, causing you to squirm, and it makes Andrei laugh, pressing a small kiss to your skin in apology.

"I'll go anywhere with you," you say honestly, and mean it. 

There are moments more often than not lately, especially now that you'd been together a little over a year and a half, where you felt like you two were never going to get out of this “honeymoon phase.” Maybe it’s the domesticity of living together, maybe it’s how easy the two of you fell together, or maybe it’s the optimism for the future - either way, you’d go anywhere so long as you had Andrei at your side.

He smiles, kissing your sternum once before he’s carefully climbing off of you and off the bed. You notice the small wet patch on the front of his boxers and giggle.

It also still amazed you at how easily you could turn Andrei on, how he could come without touching you, how giving you an orgasm was enough to send him into his own. 

“Get dressed, kroshka,” he says, pointing at you with a mischievous smile. “Wear something pretty.”

~

About forty five minutes later you’re slipping into a sundress, grabbing your purse, and putting on your sandals as you head out to the garage, then stop the second you’re in the doorway.

The garage door is open, and you fully expect to see Andrei in the driver’s seat of your Range Rover, on his phone and waiting for you to go. Instead, your car is back in its old spot, and he’s leaning against his Lamborghini from where it sits in the driveway, his charming smile too hard to ignore.

You make your way out, locking the door behind you, and Andrei presses the garage door opener on his keys the second you’re in the driveway and in his arms.

“What’s this?” You ask, curling into his embrace.

At the hesitation in your voice, Andrei gives an easy shrug and a reassuring smile. “Thought we’d go for a drive. Maybe even along the coast.”

You raise an eyebrow at that. “The coast is two and a half hours away, Drei.”

“Good thing we have the right car to take us there then.” He wiggles his eyebrows, then makes a show of opening the passenger side door for you. “Your chariot awaits, kroshka.”

You take his outstretched hand, letting him help you into the passenger seat safely before he closes the door behind you. You take an appreciative look around as you buckle in, noting the sleek leather interior and the softness of the seat beneath you. 

Andrei climbs in, buckling himself up before starting the car, and you jump a little when the rumble of the engine reverberates even through your seat, vibrating beneath you.

…Interesting.

He smirks, putting on his sunglasses before driving away, and you settle in, relaxing in your chair as the car continues to rumble under you.

~

Andrei’s been driving for about forty five minutes when you start to get antsy.

The car practically purrs beneath you, Andrei maneuvering the luxury vehicle with a practiced ease. He looks ever so handsome in his fitted black shirt, the fabric sticking tight to his muscles and accentuating the hard work he’s been putting into his body over the off season. 

His jaw clenches when the road opens up in front of him, allowing him to press on the gas and send the car flying forward on the highway. The engine rumbles to life, the vibrations of the car getting stronger as you speed up, the other cars becoming a blur beside you.

The vibration rumbles against your skin, but particularly, between your thighs, and you find yourself turning your head toward the road, biting your lip to keep from making any noise. 

You were still sensitive from that morning and had been turned on since then by the wheels in your brain turning to figure out what Andrei’s reward would be for being so good, the anticipation of it all sending liquid heat through your veins. 

Andrei eventually slows down a little, speed plateauing, and the intense vibrations of the engine only dull down slightly. You can feel yourself getting wetter, and you end up squeezing your thighs together, trying to pass it off as nothing as you stretch your arms and then your legs, wiggling as you try to get comfortable in your seat. Your hands fall into your lap, right where the skirt of your dress rests, and you flex your fingers to stop yourself from lifting the fabric and rubbing against the cotton of your definitely soaked thong to get some reprieve.

He notices - because he notices everything about you - and rests a hand on your thigh, right above your knee, rubbing his thumb in gentle circles on your skin. “You okay, kroshka?”

You hum, nodding, trying not to focus on how warm his hand feels, how far it is from where you want him to be. “I’m okay, malysh.”

“Do you need me to take the next exit? Get food or anything?”

You want to say no, but you need a break from this goddamn car that you’re starting to think has been sent to drive you insane, so you nod instead, saying “Maybe, I think I just need something to drink.”

He nods, reaching for your hand where it rests in your lap. A little gasp almost escapes when his hand brushes against your lower belly, taking your hand in his and bringing it to his mouth to press a kiss to your knuckles, his other hand still on the wheel and driving expertly. 

It’s a few minutes to the next exit, but Andrei takes it smoothly, driving till he gets to a gas station. He doesn’t need to fill up the tank quite yet, so he follows you inside to get some drinks and a couple of snacks.

You head straight for the sugary stuff - taking your time as you browse to try and calm yourself into some semblance of normal. You go about grabbing some lollipops, sour strawberry belts, a couple of chocolate bars, a pack of M&Ms and some Skittles, before heading toward the soda fridge and grabbing a Diet Cherry Vanilla Pepsi. Andrei grabs his usual chips, an energy drink, some water, and a couple of packs of his favorite gum. 

Andrei usually travels with a cooler in his trunk, and he must have grabbed it before you headed out for your drive, because he also grabs a few ice cream bars and a bag of ice, before you follow him to the counter. He pays for everything, grabbing all of the bags so you can grab the receipt and get the door on the way out. 

You both eat an ice cream bar each in the car before Andrei gets back on the road, slowly picking up speed about ten minutes later. He’d loaded most of your cold items in the cooler in the backseat, save the two ice cream bars you ate, your Diet Pepsi, a cherry lollipop for him and you, and his water. 

He’s currently sucking on the lollipop while you quietly sip your soda, trying to focus on the lingering taste of vanilla ice cream and the cherry vanilla-esque taste of your drink instead of the heat that had been plaguing you earlier.

It works, but not for long, because soon the road opens up again and Andrei’s slowly pressing down on the gas, the engine purring to life beneath you. It’s like a rollercoaster, the way you can feel the vibration of the car slowly get more intense before it starts to rumble as Andrei reaches a higher speed.

This time, you’re not able to stifle the quiet moan that spills past your lips, and you immediately tense, clearing your throat to play it off as you put your soda in the cupholder, fidgeting in your seat.

Andrei notices.

Out of your peripheral vision, you see him turn his head to you, eyes no doubt curious behind his sunglasses, before turning back to the road. His hand returns to your knee, thumb resuming his rubbing in gentle circles as he speaks around the lollipop in his mouth.

“Kroshka?” He asks. “Are you alright?”

“Mhm,” you respond weakly, “‘M fine, Drei.”

When he doesn’t say anything back to you, you chance a glance at him yourself, and Andrei turns his head toward you, observing, before turning back to the road.

His hand squeezes your knee, and you know he knows. 

It’s probably all over your face at this point, and your stomach clenches when he smirks around the lollipop, control hanging on by a thread when his hand travels up your knee, higher and higher till it’s right below the hem of your dress. 

He flexes his fingers, the tips of them dancing on the insides of your thighs, and your teeth sink into your bottom lip, trying your best to tamp down the moan that threatens to spill over. Andrei speeds the car up suddenly, switching lanes, and the sudden rumble of the engine has your thighs squeezing together before you can register what’s happening, trapping Andrei’s hand there. 

You pry them apart only a second later, but Andrei makes a small noise of protest. 

“What’s got you like this, kroshka?” He says, lollipop tucked against his cheek. His lips are so red.

Shaking your head, you reach for your soda, taking another sip, letting the bubbles dance around your tongue to give you something else to focus on. When you put it back in the cup holder, Andrei’s hand moves from your thigh to your hand, bringing it to his mouth and wrapping your fingers around the stick of his lollipop, helping you guide it out of his mouth.

The candy leaves his lips with a soft “pop!” that nearly makes you dizzy, the sound going straight to your pussy in an almost painful throb. You can feel yourself getting wetter, the cotton of your panties probably soaked by now.

Andrei, careful as his eyes flick between you and the road, guides the lollipop to your mouth, gently pushing it past your lips to rest on your tongue. You see the way his throat works around a swallow, and you know what he’s probably seeing, imagining. Your lips wrapping around the head of his cock, sucking him like this stupid lollipop, lips bright red as his precum drips onto your tongue.

You make sure to purse your lips nice and pretty around the candy before his hand leaves yours, resting back on your thigh, squeezing once.

“Zajka,” he practically croons, his voice deep, teasing, taunting. It nearly makes your thighs squeeze together again. Instead, you try to shift a little in your seat to get comfortable again, but Andrei’s hand feels like a solid weight, keeping you still.

You pull the lollipop from your lips, the cherry flavor sticky against your lips. “Yes, malysh?” You answer.

God.

You’re shocked at the sound of your own voice, how fucked out it sounds, and that just about does it. The last grip on the control you maintained this morning is gone, slipping from your hands and right into Andrei’s lap. 

It’s not like Andrei never takes control in the bedroom. He does, and he’s damn good at it, but he revels in the moments where the control is in your hands, where he can do whatever he can to please you, to be told that he’s perfect for you, being so good for you.

But when the control changes hands, when he takes charge, he takes it firmly by the reins and relishes in it, makes you question why it’s not like this all the time. 

He looks at you briefly, his eyes tracing from the lollipop to your mouth, before glancing back at the road. You comply, slipping the candy past your lips to rest on your tongue, teeth biting down on the stick when you feel Andrei’s hands against your pantie clad pussy. 

A pleased noise rumbles from his chest, knuckles brushing against your clit. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

You nod, a muffled “mhm” coming from your chest. He puts a little pressure behind his hand, and though you don’t mean to, your back arches, thereby taking your lower half a little bit away from his touch, and his head snaps over to you, brow raised, the corner of his mouth turned down in a slight frown. 

The apology is on the tip of your tongue, but it’s too late, because he takes his attention away as well as his hand, and the loss of his touch is almost too much for you to bear, especially when he directs his attention back to the road, both hands gripping the wheel as he speeds up, the engine rumbling to life beneath you with a vengeance as the luxury car tears off down the open highway in front of you.

“You’re gonna have to be patient, zajka.” He says, voice toeing the line between stern and gentle. “I need to find somewhere for us to go so I can take care of you.”

“Mkay,” you murmur around the candy, squirming a little in your seat as the car vibrates under you once more.

Andrei laughs to himself. “I just got this car, baby,” he says pointedly, “and you’re already going to leave a wet spot?”

You say nothing, too overstimulated, too desperate for him to fight him or comment on his teasing. Between the car, Andrei’s not-enough touch, and this lollipop that you suspect was used to keep you occupied in the meantime, you’re halfway to delirious, panties soaked with arousal growing uncomfortable with each passing second. The purr of the engine feels nice, but it’s nowhere near enough to satisfy.

All it does is push you closer to the edge, but never allowing you to leap.

You can only let your eyes flutter shut as you rest your head on the window, trying to focus on your breathing, on the sticky candy in your mouth, resting on your tongue. You try to focus on anything and everything other than the luxury car sent from hell - the heat fluttering low in your belly, and Andrei’s heavy breathing from beside you. 

You’re not sure how much time has passed when you feel the car finally start to slow down, too lost in the haze to process anything. 

“Kroshka,” Andrei murmurs, and your eyes blink open, head turning to gaze at him. His voice is rough, the way it always sounds when he’s barely hanging on by a thread, and you squeeze your thighs together. 

Taking a look around outside, you notice he’s pulling up to a hotel with a tall parking garage, and as he pulls into the guest side of the garage, you raise an eyebrow.

Pulling the lollipop from your mouth, you ask “Are we staying here or something?”

Andrei shakes his head, using one hand to take off his sunglasses and toss it onto the dashboard before he grabs a ticket from the machine, pulling forward once the arm raises. You note that the garage seems mostly empty, so you turn your body to look at him curiously, taking another sip of your soda before pushing the lollipop between your lips again, watching as he passes all of the empty spots and continues up to the next level, then the next, until he gets to the roof.

He parks in a spot at the corner of the roof, one not in the eyeline of any of the rooms of the hotel beside the garage, or one that can be seen from the street. There’s a cement base to a tall street lamp that hides the front seat of his car, obstructing the two of you from the view of the rest of the parking spots up here.

Andrei turns to you then, leaning over the center console and gently pulling the candy from between your lips. He reaches behind your chair to the backseat and grabs the plastic bag from the gas station, tossing the candy inside and then tossing that bag in the backseat before he all but launches himself back at you, pulling you to him with a hand behind your neck and seizing your mouth in a bruising kiss that has you rising up to your knees, sitting back on your calves. 

A surprised noise leaves you before you moan into the kiss, loving the way his hand tangles itself in the hair at the nape of your neck, pulling your head back a little. It causes your mouth to open a little more, and Andrei takes full advantage, licking into your mouth rubbing his tongue against yours as his other hand snakes its way down your torso and into your soaked panties, Andrei passing your clit altogether and sinking two fingers into your soaked cunt, all the way down to the knuckle. 

“Oh!” You cry out, arching your body towards his, and a wicked grin crosses his features.

He’s the picture of arrogance, cocky as ever as he starts to work you open on his fingers, scissoring them this way and that but never curling to touch that sensitive part of you. The noises that his fingers make as he works are obscene, echoing around the car and mixing with the little whines you let out against his mouth.

Andrei breathes them in, his lips curling around your tongue as he sucks on it, the meat of his palm grinding against your clit and sending a fresh wave of arousal through your body, dripping onto his wrist. 

“Taste so good,” he says around your tongue, licking into your mouth. It’s so obscene, nasty as his spit and yours starts to trail down your chin, neck, onto your chest. He bends his head, licking it up before pushing it back into your mouth with his tongue, lips and tongue messy as he kisses you.

His fingers finally brush against that sensitive spot inside, distracted by your mouth, and you moan, grinding down on his hand only for him to grip your hair in his hand again, a warning that says “Behave” as he pulls you back just a little. 

“Naughty little zajka,” he says against your lips. “You say you hate my brand new car then rub your little pussy all over the seats when the engine purrs for you, hm?”

You shake your head in protest, mewling when Andrei drags your bottom lip between his teeth before he sucks on it, pressing messy wet kisses to the corner of your mouth, chin, lips, all over as you speak. “Never said I hated it, I - nghhh!” 

Your words die in your throat when Andrei starts to finger fuck you in earnest, the pads of his fingers rubbing against your g-spot each time as he fucks them in and out of you. 

“Show me then,” he taunts, “Show me how much you love it. Come all over the seat, zajka. Make a mess.” 

You shake your head - it’s too fast, the pressure’s just right and you’re aching for release but it’s too much too soon. Your orgasm is racing towards the finish line and you can barely catch your breath. You reach out to touch Andrei, hands landing on his forearms where you squeeze as his fingers bring you to the edge. 

“Can I come, malysh?” You plead, pushing the words out through stuttering breaths.

He nods, leaning forward to bury his face into the crook of your neck and suck a bruise there, his ministrations never stopping. His fingers practically beckon you to him, beckon your orgasm out of you in their insistent “come here” motion, and when Andrei drags his teeth against your skin, fingers pressing deep against your g-spot, your eyes squeeze shut, body seizing as stars burst behind your eyelids and your orgasm overtakes you, arousal dripping down Andrei’s fingers and through your soaked panties onto the seat below you.

You can distantly hear soft sobs as Andrei’s voice pulls you out of your daze, calling for you gently, and it takes you a long moment to realize that it’s you sobbing, tears of relief streaming down your face as Andrei’s fingers inside of you keep still while his other hand holds you steady. 

“So good for me, zajka,” he praises. “So beautiful. You did so good waiting for it, didn’t you? Waiting for me to make you feel better.” 

Your head feels heavy when you nod lightly, and Andrei waits till you come back down a little more before he carefully and slowly withdraws his fingers from you, careful to avoid your sensitive clit as he brings his hand out from where they’ve been in your now soaked cotton underwear.

You don’t see it when his eyes glance below you, at the wet spot on the chair, and he smirks, his broad chest somehow getting ten times bigger at the sight. 

You do see it when he sucks his fingers coated in your release between his lips, eyes fluttering open the moment he does so, watching with apt amazement as his eyes drift shut, lost in the taste of you. 

Carefully, you rise back to your knees, arranging yourself until you’re sitting normally again so you can slump against the seat. Your chest heaves as you breathe, trying to calm your racing pulse, ignoring the fact that despite how hard Andrei just made you come, your pussy still throbs between your legs when you hear Andrei’s fingers finally leave his mouth with a wet “pop!” 

It’s quiet, and for a moment you think he’s going to say something smart or cocky, tease you more, but instead, he leans over the console, hand reaching for the lever on your chair and pulling until your seat is pushed all the way back, leaving a large amount of room in the well under the dashboard in front of you. 

You could almost laugh, watching Andrei and his broad, tall body maneuver itself out of his chair and across the console until he’s on his knees in front of you, pulling your legs apart gently. His hands come up to your waist, pulling your soaked underwear off of you in one go, stuffing them into the pocket of his shorts before he’s reaching for your waist again, pulling you until you’re perched on the edge of the passenger seat.

He looks up at you with a fond smile, and you can only find the energy to peer down at him with a curious look, head still thick and dizzy with your recent orgasm.

“Gonna clean you up, baby.” Andrei answers your unspoken question, pressing his hands on the back of your thighs and pushing upwards.

He moves so fast that you can barely get out an “Andrei, baby, wait-” before he buries his face in your still wet pussy, tongue pushing into your entrance. 

Your back arches, mouth dropping open in a loud cry as your body unconsciously pushes your pussy further into his face, body wrought with overstimulation.

Between the time he spent between your legs this morning worshiping you with his mouth, and how he fucked you on his fingers just now, you’re more than overwhelmed, overstimulated, and spent, but you should have seen this coming. When Andrei gets like this, when he takes control, he’s prepared to wring orgasm after orgasm out of you until he gets too impatient and finally slides his cock into you to the hilt.

And lately, Andrei’s become very good at being very, very patient. 

He licks and sucks at you like a starving man, like he’s been stuck in the desert and you’re his first drink of water in days. His mouth is even more insistent than this morning, tongue alternating between lapping at you, circling around your clit, dipping inside of you, and his lips sucking you into his mouth, making you buck your hips into his face. Every time you do, he moans, the vibrations rumbling against your skin, and he ends up just yanking you impossibly closer to him, hands on your waist feeling like an anchor. 

You can feel your orgasm creeping up on you like a runaway train. It’s almost too much, too soon, but at the same time it’s never enough. 

Since you’ve been with Andrei, it’s almost never been enough. It’s why you both end up in this constant push and pull of control, patience, restraint, restricting yourselves to “just one” or “just one more,” putting limits on yourselves until the dam breaks and the two of you end up going at it for hours.

Afterall, you two became so addicted to one another from the very beginning. There had been ten whole days between the first…well, several times…and you two entering a relationship, thereafter which you spent two unbelievable days practically glued to his bed, his shower, and your favorite, his kitchen counter, which you spent at least thirty minutes cleaning once you’d come out of your horny stupor.

Whenever Andrei gets like this, near delirious with the need to please you before he can seek any kind of relief, it takes you right back to those two days spent in his bed, to the way he made you both physically and emotionally feel his desire for you.

Now, that desire is still there, but his love always overpowers it.

It’s what drives you straight over the edge when he dips his tongue inside of you then sucks on your clit, his name falling from your lips as your hands fall over his, fingers intertwining as you shake under his mouth.

When you’ve come back down, chest heaving as you try to get your breathing under control, Andrei licks at your pussy lazily, cleaning you up with his gentle and caring attention. 

You allow it for a few moments, until you realize there’s still a small fire in your belly, and you know Andrei’s probably as hard as a rock beneath his shorts.

So you squeeze his hands, offering a small smile when he looks at you. 

“I said you’d get a reward, didn’t I?” You say, and Andrei nods, tongue still gentle as he licks at you again. You gesture for him to come to you, so he does, rising up on his knees, resting the back of your knees on the crook of his elbows as he carefully bends you in half. He doesn’t waste another second before he brings his lips to yours, kissing you with all the desperation and desire he can convey.

You reach for his waistband, undoing his belt, the button, and the zipper before pulling the waistband of his briefs down. Andrei helps, not breaking away from your kiss as he shimmies his clothes down his thighs until his cock springs free, red and leaking against his abdomen. 

He bucks into your hand when you wrap it around his cock almost immediately, moaning into your mouth. His hands rest on either side of you gripping the cushion of your chair so tightly that his knuckles turn white at the force, every part of his body fighting to restrain itself from fucking his cock into your fist, especially when you make your grip that much tighter. 

“You wanna fuck me, baby?” You murmur, moaning in surprise when he licks into your mouth, body leaning into yours that much more.

“So badly,” he asserts, sucking on your tongue the second you lick into his mouth in return. He moans, all but drooling into your mouth. He’s so desperate, so lost in your kiss and earnest in his desires that it’s a little bit messy and a little bit uncoordinated, but Andrei doesn’t care and neither do you.

You pull your head back a little, and Andrei makes a small noise of protest. “You want to do it like this? Here?”  

He nods, trailing his lips to your chin, your jaw, and to your neck, his lips wet with your lingering arousal and spit. “Pozhaluysta,” he pleads, leaving open mouthed kisses at your nape.

You adjust your hips, lining him up with your entrance. His hips buck, restraint most likely breaking, and the head of his cock slips inside. 

The moan that echoes around the car belongs to both of you, and you can feel Andrei’s breath stutter against your neck. “S-Sorry, moya koroleva.”

You shake your head, hands coming up to cup his face, bringing him from his hiding spot in your neck to come face to face with you. Your eyes flutter shut, and you pull him closer to rest your foreheads together. “No need to be sorry, baby,” you murmur, squeezing around the head of his cock experimentally, smiling a little when you can hear him start to whine. 

“No games, Drei,” you promise, kissing him sweetly, sucking his bottom lip into your mouth, running your tongue over it gently before pressing little kisses to it. “Just you and me, okay?”

He hums against your mouth, chasing after your kisses even as he speaks. “No games?”

You shake your head gently, careful not to detach your lips from his. Andrei needs you too much to deal with the push and pull, and you’re still too needy to bother with it. You rub your thumbs against his cheekbones, murmuring against his lips when you say “I just want you.” 

The sigh of relief he lets out practically stutters past his lips, and you swallow it down, breath catching in your throat when he finally pushes in a little more. He groans low and deep in his chest, hands releasing the seat cushion and fitting themselves against your waist as he continues to push his thick, long cock inside until his pelvis is flush with your ass, the head of his cock close to kissing your cervix in this position.

You both physically relax when he bottoms out, and Andrei cups his hands over yours where they rest on his face. 

This is the kind of sex that Andrei loves having with you the most - the kind where you can both just lose yourselves in how good you both make each other feel, and how good it feels for you both to be able to please each other in a way that’s basically instinctual at this point. He loves being close to you, loves being attached to you in every way; buried inside you, lips attached to yours even if it’s just to kiss lazily, arms wrapped around you. 

A shiver runs through your body when you feel him throb inside you, and you tug at his bottom lip gently. “Please, Drei,” you plead on an exhale, only to inhale sharply a second later when Andrei pulls his hips back, only to drive them forward and bury himself deep inside once more.

He starts at a slow pace like that, withdrawing halfway to just push himself back in, jaw clenching when you squeeze around him each time he’s buried deep inside once more. He keeps his forehead pressed against yours, his hands resting over yours, keeps your knees tucked safely in the crook of his arms. When he buries himself deep, pressing almost tightly against your cervix, he exhales through his nose, shakily breathing in on his next inhale. 

A whine works its way out of your throat when he starts to pick up speed, still keeping the depth, still driving his cock in so deep that it hits that soft part inside of you that makes you see stars now each time he drives inside. It stokes the fire in your belly, pleasure rolling over you in waves.

When you squeeze down on him again he moans, low and deep, pushing a breath through his nose as he tries to keep focus, but he’s losing it so quickly. His hands finally fall from yours and grip onto your hips, setting a quicker pace, lighting you up from the inside out. 

The pressure and the drag is so good for both of you that moans and whines echo around his car, and your eyes roll back into your head, hands dropping from Andrei’s face to his forearms, fingers flexing uselessly, too weak and pleasure drunk to grip onto him tightly.

Meanwhile, Andrei feels like he’s going insane. It hasn’t been long since you’d both been intimate, and it hasn’t been long since you’d both been intimate like this, but it never mattered when it came to you. You lit something on fire inside of him, walked into his heart and his soul and turned on all the lights and settled in. It was almost laughable with how good you made him feel, about anything and everything, but especially this. 

He can feel a knot form at the base of his spine at the same time he starts to feel your pussy flutter and clench around him, the way your body wants to push him away and pull him deeper at the same time. Carefully, he tightens his grip on you and thrusts harder, a little faster, careful to keep you in place on his cock and not jostle you too much.

His car is definitely shaking with the force of his efforts, and the moans and whines falling from your lips start to get louder, dragging out as you both climb and race towards your orgasms. You tilt your chin up, eyes squeezed shut as your lips search for his. He captures them in a bruising kiss, groaning into your mouth as one of your hands reaches up weakly to cup his jaw. 

“I love you,” you manage to choke out, pressing the declaration to his bottom lip. “I love you so much.”

A low whine of relief echoes in his throat, and Andrei leans forward, burying his face in your neck, pressing your hips down as he fucks into you with reckless abandon. “Ya tebya lyublyu,” he grunts out against your neck, sealing his words with a kiss. “Ya lyublyu tebya bol'she vsego na svete.”

His confession takes you by surprise, and you gasp, spine arching as you come and pussy squeezing him so tightly that it’s almost painful for him as he fucks you through it, bullying his cock into you as he chases after his own orgasm. When he comes, he presses deep inside, leaning into you, and you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him as close as you can, your fronts pressed together.

Your heavy breathing fills the car, the silence echoing against your ears and making your head throb a little bit, but you hold tight to Andrei, feeling his chest heave against yours as he tries to get his breathing under control. He drops your legs after a moment, and you stretch them delicately behind him before locking your ankles at the base of his spine. 

“I like your car,” you eventually say. 

The silence that follows is brief, Andrei cutting it when he laughs out loud, and you can feel his teeth press into your skin with how wide he smiles from where he’s still hiding in your neck. He noses along the length of it, nuzzling that ticklish spot under your ear, and then presses a kiss there, whispering a soft thank you. 

He’s still weakly pulsing inside of you, and you willingly wait him out, content to just sit here with an armful of your doting boyfriend who just fucked you silly in the front seat of his stupidly expensive luxury car that secretly (apparently) doubled as a vibrator.

“There’s baby wipes,” he says eventually. “In the glove compartment. We can throw the wipes in the bag from the gas station.” 

You raise a brow. “Did you come prepared for this?”

He shakes his head, slowly pulling himself back to look at you. His face is flushed, pupils blown wide a little, gaze still slightly hazy. “Not completely, but I brought them just in case.” 

Carefully, he twists his upper body a little so he can turn and open the glove compartment, taking a few of the wipes out and turning back to you with a happy grin. You smile, pressing a quick peck to his lips. “My smart guy.”

Andrei chases after your mouth, and you let him catch you, savoring the delicate kiss he gives you. He presses three more to your lips. “Gonna pull out now, baby. Gonna clean you up.” 

You nod, fully relaxing back against the seat and unlocking your ankles from behind him. He carefully withdraws himself, and is quick to begin cleaning you up with the wipes when his come starts to immediately fall out of you. 

You’re not surprised at how much there ended up being - he had been pent up since the morning, after all. 

You reach behind you to where the plastic bag with your lollipop fell to behind his seat, and you hold it open for him as he deposits the wipes before tying it off and putting it back behind his chair. He carefully massages your legs, offering you a wolfish smile. 

“Should we keep driving?” He asks, “Or should I maybe book us a room here? Since we’ve basically commandeered the roof of their parking lot.”

You smirk at him. “Fucking in a Lamborghini not enough for you?”

“It’s never enough when it’s you,” he says. Even though it comes out playfully, you can hear the seriousness in his voice.

You reach out, running a hand down his front. “Let’s go home, actually. The coast can wait another day.” When he looks at you, confused, since he didn’t mention that as an option, you smile mischievously at him. “I want to suck your cock while you drive and see how many times I can make you come by the time we get home.”

He blinks at you, stunned, before he’s fumbling, pulling his briefs and pants up before all but launching him out of the passenger side of the car and racing back to the driver’s seat.

You can do nothing but grab the hair tie on your wrist and pull your hair into a ponytail, a content feeling running through your veins. 

You could definitely get used to having this car around.

[fashionteahouse]

out of your league - paul x reader

AN: Seriously, I can’t thank you guys enough for showing so much love and support to fifteen parts of this story ! kisses to all you xoxo

Picking up the wooden present that was now dry, eyes swam around the picture. Usually, you were a tough critic on what you create.

“This is actually good.” you thought to yourself with confidence.

Looking around the home that you and Paul shared, you found an empty moving box in the storage space and slid the canvas in it to prevent it from getting messed up.

Peeking through a window, you noticed the pattering had stopped and saw that the dampness from the rain was still prevalent. Drops of rain had stopped falling from the sky.

Checking the time, it was early afternoon. Making a small note for Paul, you grab your jacket. You decided to take a bus to Port Angeles. You didn’t want to be the one to drive.

You gladly take in the worldly scenery. Taking everything in, you wanted to be as inspired as possible. Your upcoming trip excited you and made you thankful for sticking to your dream.

Thankfully, the traffic on the sidewalks weren’t crowded.

However, a record store caught your attention. Wanting to check it out, you made your way in. The hard plastic covers of nostalgic artists that you used to listen to, were staring right back you. You had thoughts about enjoying physical media and even had your eye on a cd player that was on sale.

Impulse buying both the cd player and cd, you leave the store ready to use it. You walk with a stroll in your steps as you tear open the box that the purchase was in, throwing the box away in the shopping bag. Peeling the stickers off, you were able to pop open the case and you carefully placed the cd in. As you untangled the headphones that was suitable for it your fingers fumbled the cd player and your face grimaced as you tried your best to save the drop.

Being unsuccessful on your side, pale hands startled you as it caught it expeditiously. Holding it with ease.

Looking at their shoes and seeing the music player in their hands, you slowly look up and see those familiar eyes that you so badly tried to forget, staring back at you. He stood there frozen in front of you as you take it back.

“Thanks.” you say quietly and he pierced his gaze onto you.

“What’s in it?” he asked with inquisitiveness.

You don’t say anything, holding up the newly purchased cd.

A corner of his lip lifts a bit, “I don’t think I’m familiar with that one.”

The artist was someone you held dearly to your heart. People that you knew or were close to you, never really heard of them and you grew to love that. Their sounds were unique but also calming in a way on your pallet.

You stand up, “Thanks again.”

Turning to walk away, you jerk a bit from the cool hand being placed on the arm of your jacket, “Wait.” you hear him say.

Hearing what he has to say, his mouth opens then closes it with his eyebrows furrowed.

“Are you messing with me or something?” you ask, narrowing your eyes.

He looks surprised a bit at such accusation and shakes his head, “No.” He squares his shoulders and then goes on, “My sister has sent you an email. You haven’t responded to it. It’s for Bella’s birthday party that she wants to throw.”

“Yeah, I don’t know about that. Plus, Bella told me wants us to do something small.”

He nods a little.

“How did…Alice.. Get my email address?” you ask out as you did your best to remember the name of the sender.

A small smile goes back to his lips, “That was easy. She found your article of when you won that art contest a while back. It had your email there.” You didn’t expect to see the small look of being impressed in his eyes.

You look to the ground as the cd player you had was tight in your hands.

“Will you come?” Edward asks you and his hard eyes struck at you.

“Uh, no offense but…No way.” you say, your eyes growing out at such suggestion. You were a bit surprised at the shock that he displayed, he actually thought you were going to say yes.

“And why?” he asks.

You take a shaky breath in as you watch your surroundings, “I’m sure you’re smart. How many…Vampires will be in attendance?” you ask in a hushed tone.

His eyes shifted nervously a bit but he quickly recoups himself and you felt lucky that you didn’t miss catching it.

”You’re not afraid of wolves, but you’re afraid of vampires who don’t feed from humans.” he says in a joking tone, him having a kick out of your response.

This makes you scoff but then huff out a small laugh, “That’s a good one. A vampire that doesn’t feed from humans.”

“It’s true.” he says as his smile starts to fade, wanting you to believe him.

Placing a hand on your chin, “Hm. I guess you suck air instead.”

“I’m serious.” he says with hardness, wanting you to stop joking on such manner but the amused smile from your joke never leave your face. Your finger does fall from your chin.

He looks around a bit before leaning a bit, “Would you like to know?”

“I’ll just have Paul tell me.” you say.

“I’m afraid Paul doesn’t know everything.” he says, almost cringing at speaking Paul’s name.

You shrug.

“Where were you headed?” he asks.

“Why? Where’s Bella?” you ask.

“She’s with her friend Jake at the reservation.” he answers.

“So, you got bored and decided to come to Port Angeles?” you say without interest.

“I came to see you.” he says but has a look of concentration before resuming, “Look, I can answer your questions. I’m sure Paul already told you about the treaty me and my family have with the quileutes.”

“The treaty doesn’t mean anything. You and your family still caused him to leave his normal life and shift.” you tell him.

He showcased a crooked, amused smile, “Are you sure it was my family or is it the new threats coming in throughout Washington? The constant “animal attacks?”, he pauses to shake his head, “Me and my family have been coming in and out for over 70 years and have you noticed there’s no elder werewolves that you know of? If you did, you’d met them, especially by now.” he says in a tone only you could hear as the sidewalks started to have more and more people walking.

He held the door open for you as you walked through the library that wasn’t crowded. Sitting in a plush study chair in a corner, you notice he feels more comfortable. His back is to the wall as you sit diagonal but close.

“I didn’t forget what you said about me.” you tell him in a hushed tone. His eyes look to you as he encourages you to go on. They still took time to get used to.

You look down as you bounce your leg a bit to bring the words out, “You said, hypothetically, and I quote, ‘you have something about yourself that’s unusual.’ What did you mean by that?” You then rise your eyes to look at him look down at the table. He’s relaxed against the chair with a nonchalant expression.

“If I tell you, will you promise to think about coming?” he asks.

“Why would I promise you anything?”

“You’ve figured a lot out. What’s being said needs to stay in this library and at this table. I know you told Bella to promise not to tell me that you know what I am.”

“How?” you challenge, she told you that he left. He just gives you a look.

You huff a bit in frustration, as you look around the library. Only trickles of people were walking around, but nowhere near close to where you both were.

Under the table you cross your two fingers, “I’ll try to think about it.”

He seems satisfied enough as he then thinks for a moment.

“Which would you like to know first? How I knew or what I find unusual?”

“You pick.” you say jerking your head a bit.

He leans forward a bit before speaking out and that same look of focus was back on his stone face, “I just see colors. Like…a whirlwind of colors. It’s strange.”

You look around in confusion. Sure there were posters that had splashes of colors but his chuckle brings your eyes back to yours. He waits a bit before turning serious.

“I mean in your mind.” he clarifies.

“In my mind?” you ask to see if he’s serious.

“Yes.” he answers flatly.

Silence falls as you look at dust that’s floating in the distant light of the window.

“You don’t see words? What I’m thinking?”

He shakes his head as he looks down at the table to concentrate, “No. If the emotion from you is strong enough…They form into..” he shakes his head, he doesn’t know how to describe it. It was unusual for him.

“I don’t know..It’s like the colors try to come together to create something.” he finishes, hoping it’s the best way to describe it. It was challenging to bring what he sees in your head, into words.

“So, what about me and Bella’s talk?”

“I had left out but I was still in earshot. That’s all.” he says.

You roll your eyes, “Of course.”

You then look to him as he still stares at you with one look, “Your eyes aren’t red like the one that I saw.”

This peaks his interest. “You saw one?”

“Yeah. Not to get too into details-” you start but he cuts you off.

“No, please. Do tell.” he says politely but the look on his face showed great zeal for the topic. The energy surrounding this statement brought you in to speak on what you saw.

You then explain the situation of the first time going to the cliffs by yourself, to prove that it wasn’t you willingly walking to danger. How on the way there, the inhuman figure got ready to attack you. Paul and the others came to your defense, killing and dismembering it and setting it to fire. Not an ounce of boredom was on Edward’s face. Your mind brought him into the world of the story, he saw the colors of red vicious eyes, the bluish fire, and he even saw a hint of the picture you drew of the experience when you had trouble sleeping. It all flowed together on accord. He wished you hadn’t changed the image of the picture in your mind so fast, he wanted to look at it longer. It was a clear picture and he could almost feel being there.

“The cliffs are in La Push land, right?” he asks inquisitively.

You nod.

“You and Bella being friends make more sense. Both being danger magnets.” he says with humor.

You shake your head being serious, “I feel like I’m in danger now. I know about the incident which landed her in the hospital. I know that the story was bogus. What really happened?”

“Pushy are we? You better think long and hard about coming to this party.” Edward says with his cheek resting on his hand.

“Why do you want me to come so bad?” you ask.

He takes an intake of breath through his nose, as he stared ahead with his arm resting on the table. “That I can’t tell you.”

You nudge his arm feeling annoyed, “Why not? You’re going to lure me in so your family can feast on me?”

He looks down at the spot that you touched him and back at you with a look of innocent amusement that you haven’t seen from him before.

“Me and my family don’t feast from humans. That’s why our eyes aren’t red.” he says trying to smoothly change the subject.

You cross your arms as you leaned back a bit in your chair, giving him a stone cold look.

“We’re vegetarians.”

This brings out a laugh from you, “You cannot be serious.”

He shrugs, not taking offense to your laughter, even sporting a small grin of his own, “It’s what we call it. Instead of human blood, it’s animal blood.”

You nod with understanding but you didn’t think it was possible. It must’ve explained the amber color. As you take in the color of his eyes, he looks to you with intensity but you shift your eyes somewhere else not wanting to hold that gaze.

“And with Bella, a nomad attacked her and..We had to save her. We used the story that we used to not bring light to the real truth.” he explains.

You look at him with skepticism, “A bite mark?”

“He bit her.” He says, knowing that you were blaming him.

“Make it all make sense.”

“I sucked the venom out. If I didn’t get there in time..” he says as he remembers but you say, “No doctors have noticed?”

“Carlisle is one. He knew the doctor in Phoenix. Pulling some strings, Carlisle was able to treat what he wanted.” he says casually but you don’t even know who that person is.

He doesn’t give you the opportunity to ask.

“So.” he says as he shifts a bit in his seat.

“So.” you answer back.

“Going to New York?” he asks with a polite smile. Of course, she told him.

“It’s for business and no you can’t come.” you say not being friendly in your response.

This brings out a small laugh from him and he then shakes his head a bit, “I don’t get why you stay here. Especially in La Push.” he says with his brows knitted. He just didn’t understand it. He found himself wishing he could be able to understand it.

“My soulmate.” you tell him defensively.

His look is bored when you tell him this, “You sure will miss out on a lot.”

“How old are you?” you ask to change the subject.

He catches this but chooses not to circle back and has a grin, “109.”

“You should be in a nursing home instead of a high school. And how are you 109 and you haven’t heard of-“ you say and hold up the hard copy cd.

He shrugs.

“Get it together old man.” you say in a disappointed tone.

Smiling a bit, he slides the cd player to himself as he just holds one headphone a bit close to his ear, he pressed play. He did it in a smooth manner to where the music flowed out before you knew it.

He actually listened to the entire song that was on the first track as you read the back on the cd. You popped it open as you pulled out the lyric sheet.

“Not bad.” he says, pleased that the somewhat new gen music wasn’t horrible, sliding your items back to you.

”Exactly.” you quietly say as you folded the lyric sheet back up and put it back in its place.

“Are you into classical music?” He asks.

“I had a lengthy period timeline of listening to it while I would study.” you say as you thought back to the era. You even thought about buying a keyboard to play. But, you knew where your heart resided.

“Do you have a favorite song?” he asks, surprised but at the same time not surprised, he figured you’re deep into the arts.

You tilt your head to the sky with your arms crossed as you thought about it. Edward caught glimpses of the colors of the covers that you mentally searched through, that you remember putting in your playlist.

“It’s like…Something that starts with a D, et Chloe: part lll. I remember the part because of the tallies.” You say, still in thought.

He had a look of thought as well, “Ravel?”

“I think. Don’t quote me on it.” you say as you then watch him interrupt what he was going to say to your response and says, “I gotta go.”

Before any form of a processed state of mind could be made, he wasn’t there. All that was left was remembrance of him being there. You look beside you to see both Kim and Emily. Kim held the door for Emily as you knew for a fact that Kim suggested this place. It was you two that found this hidden gem together years back.

Emily was the one who spotted you. She wasn’t vocal about it but she rushed to where you were. You both hugged as she then says, “Went shopping without me?” She circles around you as you both gush about what you had purchased.

Kim doesn’t say anything as she sits down in a seat where a certain somebody sat in.

“Getting a book?” you ask her.

“Yes. Now, come with me.” she says and pulls your arm.

You both idly walk in the aisle where the genre she’s looking for is located.

You let your eyes run across the spines of the books as Emily picks one up and reads the back of one.

“Did you get one?” she asks.

“Nope. I just got here.” you tell her.

She then lights up with her eyes, “Guess what?”

You return with a smile, “What.”

“With you leaving, I figured I should visit home.” she says excitedly as your eyes land on the book that she had interest in. It was a recipe book.

“Really? I mean…You could’ve came out of town with me.” you offer, thinking of the fun you both could have exploring the city together if you had free time.

“Oh, I’m sure you’re going to be there more than one time.” she says with certainty.

“You give me too much credit.” you say quietly as you at other books that were around.

“You’ve been invited out of town and someone paid your way. I have a feeling this won’t be the last time you experience this.” Emily says with a knowing look.

“Plus, since I’ve moved in with Sam, I haven’t seen my mom in person. I took this as a sign to spend some type of time with her.” she adds on as she tucks the book under her arms and sees if something else catches her attention.

Kim ends up joining you two as you stand next to Emily as she checks out a book. You felt a nudge before looking to see Kim giving you all of your stuff from the table.

“Thanks.” you say.

Walking out, you feel the air as the dampness has somewhat dried up. Emily suggests you all grab a treat at a nearby bakery.

Sitting with the paid for treat, Kim says she has to use the bathroom. It was just you and Emily at the table.

“How have things been?” you ask her.

“Things with me have been great!” she says and then chews while she looks at you, “What about you? Besides your achievements.” she says.

“So far, so good.” you say.

“I know you don’t see eye to eye with Kim, but man do I feel bad for her right now.” she says quietly.

“I’m sure things will be okay.” you say, “She finally got the man of her dreams and Paul isn’t as bad as she made him out to be.”

“I don’t know.” Emily drags out. You give her a quizzical look.

“Jared and Kim have been fighting. A lot. Jared’s not that kind of person so it’s worrisome.”

“Do you know why?” you say, feeling yourself fall into the pits of gossip.

“I really don’t. That’s why I just hope things do turn out better, you know?” Emily says. You nod.

Kim later sits down, with peaks at her, you notice her face was a bit red.

“Everything alright?” Emily asks. Kim just nods. She’s been quiet.

You all close car doors as you all get out of Emily’s car.

Unlocking the door, Emily puts her keys up as you all take off the jackets that you had on.

Barely getting your shoes off, Paul comes to you and bends down to give you a kiss but makes a disagreeing noise as he retracts from you, “Ugh.”

“I took a shower.” you tell him, but deep down you knew why.

“And you need another one.” he says and the look on his face showed that he was serious. He kept an eye on you, as he tried to figure you out. You move further into the house.

“Want to see what I bought?” you ask. He doesn’t say anything but looks at what you’re holding.

“Where’s Jared.” Kim asks Paul.

“I don’t know. Go find him.” Paul speaks to her irritated but returns his attention to you.

Seeing Sam come out from the hallway and into the front of the home, you notice Emily gone and walk closer to him.

“Where did Emily go?” you ask.

“She’s in the shower. She smelled…Strange.” he says but takes a sniff as he moves a bit closer to where you were and wrinkles his nose, “No offense, but you smell worse.”

You look down and you hear the door close and find Jared looking tired as he comes in, “What’s that smell?”

“Y/N, come outside with me.” Paul says as he opens the door. Just from the force of the door opening, you knew it wasn’t for a good reason. Sighing, you ask in a small voice, “Why?”

He doesn’t even bother to answer your question as he looks at you with expectancy.

You slowly walk and grab your jacket.

Moving away from the front door, you both walk to the side front of Emily’s home.

“Did you lie to me?” Paul asks with narrowed eyes.

“About what?” you ask with a shrug.

“Anything. About where you were going or what?” he asks and as you open your mouth he says, “Don’t lie.”

“I told you I was going to Port Angeles and that’s where I was.” you tell him.

“There’s no way you were there with Emily and Kim the entire time. You’re fucking soaked in a leech’s scent.” he says and he’s trying his best to keep his soft trembles in control but he’s pacing a bit in order to do so.

“After I went to the record store, I did go to the library. Emily and Kim came and it was a total surprise. I didn’t even know they were going to be there.” you explain.

He gives you a long look, making you uncomfortable under such gaze. He knew you for some time to pick up on your behavior and body language. Something deep told him you were hiding something from him.

“Whose painting is in the cardboard box at home.” he asks with assertiveness.

“I-it’s.. Does it even matter?” Your heart was beating so hard it was pounding in your ears.

“Yes it does fucking matter.” he hissed and he then shakes his head, “What the hell is wrong with you? You’re lying to me now-”

“I didn’t lie!” you cry out.

“You’re telling me half truths! You think I don’t fucking know you?” He says. You do nothing but stare at the tree in front of you as you take in a shaky breath.

Jared comes out of the house next, walking right near where Paul was, close to the woods.

Not caring a person was outside with the both of you, he pressed on, “So whose is it?”

Jared awkwardly walked a bit, Sam was the one who sent Jared outside to tell Paul to come in.

When you don’t answer, Jared then moved beside Paul as he quickly says, “Sam wanted me to get you.”

Turning his face the side to face him, “Tell him to fucking wait.” Paul tells him coldly. He then turns back and look at you as your hands are stuffed in your pockets. You weren’t going to tell him in front of Jared.

Paul displays a sardonic expression as he then says, “It’s like that?”

He stomps past you but you call for him still, “Paul, just wait.” you say but he completely ignores you as he slapped the door closed behind himself.

You look down as you walk slowly to the porch steps and sit down.

“Why didn’t you just tell him?” Jared asks quietly in disbelief to you, he was one of the people who had faith in the relationship that you shared.

You shake your head as you stare ahead, “I don’t know.” you whisper to him. You genuinely didn’t.

Jared sits next to you on the steps but doesn’t say anything.

You both sat in silence until you hear the door close again but this time it was Kim.

You watch as she leaves from away from the house.

“You’re leaving?” he asks her.

She nods half heartedly, barely meeting his gaze. She then turns back around and walk in the direction of her home. Jared sucks in his teeth and you watch him as he looks to the sky, as of the sky would give him answers.

“I’m not the only one with problems after all.” you say quietly to him, trying to poke a joke at him.

Although he’s a bit glad that you’re trying to lighten up, he just couldn’t bring himself to do the same.

“It’s been like this for I don’t know how long.” Jared says.

“I don’t get it. She’s finally with you, what’s the problem?”

“She just keeps bringing up how…She feels trapped here. She did have plans to go to college but it’s not like I asked for this. She knew what it was when she accepted everything.”

“She blames you for not being able to leave?” you ask surprised.

“Pretty much. She even says shit that tear me down and…” he says and shakes his head, “I guess seeing people start their fall classes must’ve made her feel some type of way. I don’t know.”

You look down as you felt bad for such things being done to him. You then knit your eyebrows together, “She can just do online.”

“I told her that. At least when you two were friends you would've talked some sense into her. I don’t know what’s going on with that chick.” he says and a moment later, he opens the door back up. You decide to get up and follow him in the house as he held the door open.

You catch a bit of what Sam is saying cautiously to Paul, “-You sure?”

You see a seething Paul sitting at the table with his arms crossed, carrying a heavy look at you as you entered in.

He rises, but you touch his arm with both hands as he doesn’t slow down from walking out.

He was moving faster than you as you clambered down the steps trying to keep up with him.

“Paul, I will tell you. I don’t know why I didn’t.” you say.

He stops but turns around.

“I know who it’s for. I want you to say it.” he says.

You felt nervous again but you still open your mouth to say, “Bella.”

He sighs and turns back around before you call him again. He stops but doesn’t turn around.

“I couldn’t just not give her anything.” you say.

“Just like how you couldn’t just leave her ass alone.” he says but turns around before taking small steps to you, “You don’t even smell like a regular leech running around here. You smell like a fucking Cullen.”

You blink and he shakes his head in such disappointment and walks towards the woods.

Leaving you there with that to sit on your brain, he doesn’t even bother to strip, phasing and ripping out of his clothes. Before you could blink, the silver wolf disappears into the trees.

Not even going back inside, you walk home. You hand touch your forehead as you walk and look down.

You felt so angry with yourself. Then again, you didn’t go to Port Angeles to see Edward. He told you that he came to see you out. You then thought about how that wouldn’t have been a possibility had you not agreed to Bella’s invitation to go over her house. But then, she would’ve figured out where you lived and you felt that was even worse.

You scrubbed your entire body head to toe in the shower before even thinking about doing anything else.

With a fan by the window, you blew out your troubles with the help of cannabis. You even sat after, just staring out the window into the night sky.

Laying in bed alone, you stay up as the birds chirped, waking up to start their day. You move to the other side and pull the covers over your head.

You woke up late, but woke up with a slight jump. The covers come from off of your head as you search the room. You remember what happened and you check to see if Paul came home. He didn’t.

A knock surprised you as the tv glowed to you and rise up to open it. Jared had the things that you bought from yesterday that you had left over Emily’s in his hands.

Taking it from him, you thank him.

“Did you see him?” you ask Jared as he turns to walk away.

“Nope. I’m heading to Sam’s though.”

“Wait, I’m coming with you.”

Throwing something quick on, you both walk to Sam and Emily’s.

Emily was out running errands but that didn’t stop Jared from helping himself make a meaty sandwich.

Sam was lounging on the sofa, you sit down in the loveseat. He turns the volume of the television down as you enter. He looks to you and you look to him.

“Where’s Paul.”

“He won’t phase back.” he says as if he’s been waiting to tell you this.

You softly sigh as you drop your head a bit.

“Y/N, I have to side with him on this one. I don’t know what you were thinking. Hanging with the Cullens? We told you about them.” Sam says.

“That’s the thing..I didn’t go out of my way to hang with them.” you say and shake your head.

“What happened?” he asks trying to get a clear understanding.

“I told the truth. I did go to Port Angeles, but Edward was there. He caught my cd player from dropping and we talked. We were close and his scent must’ve rubbed off on me.” you tell him.

“Why did he talk to you?” he then asked.

“His sister wanted to throw Bella a birthday party and she extended an invitation to me. I didn’t agree to go. Edward came to pass the message along. He then told me…Things.”

“What things?” Sam asks with all focus. Jared by then joins the room with the sandwich almost gone from his hands.

“He told me not to say anything.” you whisper as you put your hands on your face.

“Did he threaten you?” Sam says getting a bit worked up.

“No, no. It wasn’t in a threatening manner.” you say as you wring your fingers, “He told me about his family’s diet, what really happened to Bella in Phoenix…” you say as you tried to think back.

Both Sam and Jared share a look.

Jared suggested to Sam that you should see Old Quil.

“Why?” you question.

“You know a lot. He keeps track of everything. That’s how we know what we know now.” Sam says.

They both walk you to the home that belonged to him. The cane he had in his hand was gripped as he held the door open and looked at all three of you.

“Who’s this.” he asks as he looks at you.

“Y/N. Paul’s imprint.”

“Ohhh okay. How are you doing dear?” he asks in an ancient voice and his stoic expression turns friendly.

“Good..I guess.” you say quietly and Old Quil takes his eyes away from you and nod to both Sam and Jared.

“Tell him everything. Don’t be afraid.” Jared coaches and encourages you.

You watch as they both leave, Old Quil tells you that you can have a seat. He offers something to drink but you decline. The wisdom he carried oozes from his aura as he sits in the recliner across the sofa that you sat in.

He keeps a pipe in his mouth as he softly rocked as you tell him blow by blow, starting from the moment you met Bella Swan. You add that Edward didn’t want you to say anything and to keep it in the library.

“Well I’ll be damned. Vampires with abilities and all.” he says.

Paul did come home, dirty and naked. He found you not home and decided to pay a visit to Sam’s after he took a shower. Old Quil yells a come in as you both sat at a kitchen table with a pen and pad. He wanted to get word for word, not missing any details.

Paul slowly walks in as he takes in the sight.

You still light up when you see that it’s Paul. You get up and cautiously walk towards him but all is forgotten when he pulls you close and tightly hold you to him with his arms.

Sitting in Paul’s lap, you watch as Old Quil flipped through the inked soaked pages, satisfied with how much he was able to document.

“I think you should go.” The older man decided to you as he pulls off his reading glasses and fold them.

“Don’t piss me off.” Paul says, after he got a recap of everything.

“Watch your mouth.” he says sternly then says, “I’m serious. He willingly told her all of this just by one conversation. Imagine how much she could come back with from an entire family.”

“She dies, then what? She gets hurt then what?” Paul says, not even believing this person that he was taught to respect since a child, would suggest such a thing.

“They drink animal’s blood. He can’t even read her mind so he won’t know she told us. It’s helpful to know rather than be surprised. Don’t you have questions? There’s holes that need to be filled and they’ve been around longer than we have. Could the gene be intertwined with puberty to have boys change so young?” Old Quil inquires as he strokes his chin a bit.

Moving you off of his lap, he gets up and paced the small home as he clenched and unclenched his fists.

“Did you agree?” Paul says to you.

“I’m just finding out this suggestion now.”

“Do you agree?” he then asks, titling his head down at you, holding his gaze in yours.

You shrug and say, “I don’t know.” He scoffs and look away.

“We can play this smart you know. Find out what other abilities they have.” Old Quil cuts in with his thin tenor voice.

“Who gives a fuck? As long as they stay off of our land, they can fuck off for all we care!” Paul hisses.

“Your mouth is so disgusting.” the older man says as he shakes his head. He takes a blow from his pipe, “Just think about it, Y/N.”

That’s what Edward said.

“No!” Paul roars, putting his foot down. He then moves over to you, taking both cheeks in his hands as he jerks you a bit to get you to look at him. You do.

“You’re not going. You hear me?” he makes it clear to you. You say nothing as you look at his almost desperate face. He then calls your name with force when you don’t say anything. Trying not to let your face crumble, you swallowed the lump in your throat. You wanted to do what you could do to help but his expression spoke volumes.

[emmaelt]

I've been going to concerts since I was 10 or so. My first concert was Avril Lavigne (yes, I am quite old). I found it extremely overstimulating, and have often found that after concerts or similar experiences I act a bit like I'm high. This is possibly the hyperactive adhd pouring out of me, but I think it's also the music as a 'special interest' thing. I read once about somehow who used to think they were super religious because when they were in church they'd feel so moved, but it was when they went to their first concert that they discovered that it was live music that did that to them, and for me that's exactly how I experience live music - it's an almost religious experience.

Some tips.

If you don't enjoy other people touching you, esp. strangers, get seated tickets. Often, everyone in seated tickets will get up and dance, but I find it more manageable to be around other humans when we have to maintain proper space from each other. You also do not have to get up if you don't want to. If you can't get seated tickets, lots of people stand at the back and watch from afar, and that's valid. You don't need to be in the crowd to have a good time. Do what makes you comfortable.

If you find loud music to be overstimulating, you can use any kind of earplugs/ear defenders. I have always been protective of my hearing (Covid gave me tinitus anyway, fml) so I have never once gone to a concert or movie or live event without ear plugs at minimum. No one has judged me, or even noticed it most likely. I used to force myself to go clubbing when I was a teenager, and I even wore earplugs then. I even wore them during my wedding, I got some cute gold ones from loops to match my jewelry, and I actually got compliments on them.

If exiting is stressful for you because of the crowds, you can find a safe space to wait until most people have left. Or, if you can bear it, you can leave 20 minutes before the show ends and skip the crowds. If you have a train to catch, see if there is a later one, or plan to leave early so you can make it. You can usually search on google to see how long a concert is, and if there is no available info you can contact the venue to see if they have the rough runtimes.

Smaller venues will be able to help you if you make them aware of your needs and let them help you. I went to see Dodie at the Roundhouse in London in like 2018 or so, and even though I was undiagnosed at the time, I knew I struggled with this type of thing. I let them know I had anxiety and needed some adjustments, and asked them what could they do to help? They switched the standing tickets I had purchased to seated. They had someone meet me at the back door, so I wouldn't have to queue. They showed me to my seat. They even let me have a pass so I could use a different, more private bathroom if I needed it, and showed me where it was. It was absolutely the best concert experience I've ever had, and it didn't cost me anything extra. If you don't ask, they won't be able to help you. If you do ask, and there's nothing they can do, at least you've tried.

However, it's also ok to not know what you need and to use your experiences to learn what you need going forward. I didn't know prior to seeing Dodie that I could ask for these things. I didn't know prior to clubbing that I hated clubbing. It's ok to have a hard time, but be kind to yourself about it, and let what helps help.

if you're autistic and worried about how a concert will go, this post is for you!

(no image credit since i took that pic w my crappy camera lol)

my first concert was last night, and this was my experience.

security

if you're UNDER 18, they'll write a big 'x' on both of your hands in sharpie to make sure you don't try to buy alcoholic beverages underaged.

if you're OVER 18, they'll check your ID, and if you're legally allowed to drink in that state, they'll give you a paper wristband. if not, they'll write a big 'x' on both of your hands in sharpie.

next, they'll check your tickets.

after that, they check your bags for weapons. don't worry, it's not completely emptying and going through it. they'll just shine a bluelight flashlight in it.

and lastly, they'll stamp a music note pattern on your right wrist, so the other staff can make sure you've paid to be there.

merch stores

i reccomend buying some to support the artist! the band i saw, cavetown, was doing a fundraiser to help families in palestine.

the size of the store will vary depending on how many products the artist has. not all of it will be on sale, but a pretty good amount.

the show

the band will be jumping around on stage the whole time, and the lights will be super bright. the audience and the music will be loud. for me, i love environments like this. but if you don't do well in them, i reccomend noise cancelling headphones.

the concert should last from 1-3 hours, depending on how long the opening and the encore (if there is one) is.

exiting

for me, this was the worst part.

everyone will be trying to get out at the same time. the hallway will be flooded with people.

once you get outside, you should be good to go!

i hope you have a great time!!!

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

If I DO end up doing a rewatch of Torchwood it will be a fun game of "how much of what I consider to be canon has just purely been from reading fanfic these past 7 years, some of the audio dramas and audio books, and the same 4 episodes every time I rehyperfixate?"

[inkskinned]

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

[b4kuch1n]

Hello! Honoring the call for a global strike, from now (24/01/2024) until the end of this week (6AM Monday 29/01/2024, Hanoi/Jakarta time (GMT+7)) I am offering one full-body sketch of any character you want for every e-sim you donate.

All you need to do is:

go to gazaesims.com

follow the instruction there and donate an e-sim of any plan

screenshot the confirmation of your purchase and donation

send the screenshots to me via either email (b4kuch1n@gmail.com) or Tumblr DM, along with the character you want a sketch of and any references you have on hand.

Standard commission/request guideline applied. I'll run streams in the next four days (and perhaps after as well) on Youtube doing these sketches live - those will be announced on this blog as they happen.

I'm not currently affiliated with the Cartoonist Cooperative or any other artists doing the same drive, but if my art's not what you're looking for, definitely give the Coop's site as well as the e-sim tag on Tumblr a look! And if you're not looking for sketch commissions from me or art commission in general at the moment, I encourage you to donate an e-sim anyway if possible.

Thank you for your work and support - I can't wait to draw your character!

[takamoris]

Knocking out a quick Lilith Greedier Mode run on the SteamDeck during lunch. It's that easy.

[meownotgood]

the akis that came today 🫡 the akis are plentiful.

[dreadfutures]

guess who is having hot girl bowel issues

[britneyshakespeare]

well in more positive news

midge is now the proud wearer or friday night date (1960-1964)

[shiningneedlecastle]

So like. Maybe it's an ironic joking thing, but sometimes the tags on your posts/reblogs make me feel concerned, so like. Are you doing ok? Do you wanna talk about it?

yeah it's not really ironic joking, not gonna lie i'm doing quite badly irl what with how badly the american education system is structured (especially medical education and how particularly hellish it can get). i don't wanna burden you with the sheer weight of all this horrible shit and i don't spend much time on here anymore. but thank you for the offer though, sincerely

[hannahhasafact]

Debating wearing my tumblr hat to pride tomorrow because on one hand I need a hat to protect my face from the sun but on the other hand I don’t want people to think I’m transphobic

[shatterthefragments]

I made myself eggs :) and a London fog with my apple pie honey as the sweetener :) (still trying to get it right bc I prefer the ones I get at cafes still)

(It’s nice to at least on one of my days off have like. A slow start to my morning, using the good milk frother if I can bc I’ll presumably have time to wash it. And have like a breakfast outside if possible :) which I am just sitting on the steps outside.) (ive simply made my peace. Perhaps im weird. But I am free. And it’s not a crime to eat outside. It’s nice) (like. People in the semi hedged in sometimes gated communities often have table and chair sets to eat on their front porch. If I’m on the steps or a step stool or the stone tiles or the ground it’s still all good) (we do not have space to both have the path to the front door and a table set. Not would we buy one. But I got a free 6’ folding table that I intended to use a lot more but sadly there’s usually a car in the carport where I’d set it up. Outdoor covered spaces my BELOVED!)

Eh. Whatever. I’ll just do what I feel like and what I’m up to. (A bit sad I’m not going on an impulse trip to get another tattoo tomorrow but ah well. I haven’t messaged the artist and I need to pay for school anyway :P) (…unless my friend IS free at a time that works that I could go get the tattoo anyway… 👀 but no. Unless. Anyway)