#that was THE MOST hyped about thing AND FOR GOOD REASON!!!!
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like, archives used to be THE BIGGEST overwatch event for me because it was the most we got in terms of in-game lore and i just genuinely enjoyed playing them (retribution, my beloved), but invasion? don't know her. i refuse to pay for it and not only do i not regret not getting to play it - i haven't even bothered to check the gameplay on youtube. this is how uninterested i am in the game these days. so yeah, the fumbled overwatch big time.
THIS IS WHAT IM SAYING THIS IS THE REALEST THING EVER
genuinely always felt like such a treat going to play the archive missions uuuggghhh i miss her so bad........ there will never be such a fumble for a videogame than ow this i'm absolutely certain
#overwatch#overwatch 2#ask#this is so true tho! i havent looked up gameplay either and i dont really know what happens in that#because I Too refuse to buy it. i generally just have a No Buy rule when it comes to blizzard#not like i ever bought anything besides the game when it first came out but its just exemplified nowadays#dropping the ball on PVE is something ill truly never get over like... come on man....#that was THE MOST hyped about thing AND FOR GOOD REASON!!!!#i'm not saying the PVE was going to expand on some interactions like cassidy to 76 about hanamura#but it COULDVE... and now we will DEFINITELY never know what the hell that meant#outside of PVE though like that's what i mean- there's SO many interesting little lore bits with overwatch#but blizzard's just so careless with it that it's all gone to waste with no where to go#not that it's rock solid lest we all forget. Kiriko.#should i make a post on kiriko because she's such a funny unfortunate character and it's really sad but anyways#i don't want to prattle too long POINT IS. you get me#i miss the archives.........
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If you have been paying any attention, I’m a big lifelong Beyoncé fan. September 4th is her birthday so I’m using writing as another excuse to listen to her music on repeat. Give me a character and a song from this list. I want to see what I can come up with. (I recommend every song on this list btw. But that might be obvious lol)
CUFF IT
Crazy In Love
BODYGUARD
Love On Top
Baby Boy
MY ROSE
DAUGHTER
ALLIIGATOR TEARS
Pray You Catch Me
Sandcastles
Jealous
I Miss You
Start Over
Sweet Dreams
Flaws and All
Freakum Dress
Resentment
Listen
Poison
TYRANT
#is this the silliest thing ive done about requests#yes#am i still gonna do it#also yes#expect most of these to be on the shorter side#I feel like i should start writing the fic for cuff it cause i may have hyped that one up prompt wise#its mostly there as a joke prompt but i genuinely love that song#its just the contents are uh let's just say i will not write smut#i'll imply it but i wont write it#If you made it this far#you can request songs by her that arent on the list#This is more for those who don't know her discography to be surprised by what they asked for#Also i guess my top 3 albums by her real quick cause that's not a controversial take at all lol#Renaissance Lemonade 4#My reasons are I love a good disco vibe#Heartbreak and healing is great#This is the album that came out in middle school for me#it brought me joy watching the music videos after school
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#here's some of the classics on that list i have beef with btw:#i have tried to read A Confederacy of Dunces several times and it's funny but it's also so cringe and Ignatius is so obnoxious#that i find it too difficult to finish like i just feel depressed and bad for everybody around him too much#i tried reading Infinite Jest like a decade ago and i got like 200 pages in and i remember thinking it felt like#such a slog the entire time because he's just so gd wordy and also i stopped liking DFW after i heard the abuse allegations against him#frankenstein i didnt read that long ago but i just remember finding it so boring for some reason?? i feel i might need to read it again#dracula ngl i feel like im cheating a bit saying ive completely read it because i loved the beginning and then HATED so much of the rest#the characters were just so boring and melodramatic hahaha i just liked the part where jonathan was doing a travel diary#and trapped in the castle tbh and after that i skimmed quite a bit#i almost flipped my shit when i saw ender's game on there because I ALWAYS mix it up with ready player one by ernest cline#which i bought the audiobook of a while back and hated every minute of it i dont think its good at all#but it wasnt that so phew my faith in this list is somewhat restored#i read most of the first game of thrones book and was disappointed tbh maybe because id seen the show already#so i was like 'this feels almost exactly the same except worse?' because i'd been expecting it to give me more depth and insight#into the characters but instead it felt exactly the same and i still didnt love any of the characters enough to feel attached to them#also i am fully aware me not personally liking or vibing with a book doesnt mean it doesnt deserve to be considered great btw#but i think if youre gonna be like me and force yourself to go through a bunch of lists like this very seriously then you also need to just#let yourself be like 'yeah not for me' without feeling too bad about it sometimes too#often times i dont particularly love the classics or 'important books' but at the same time#i still feel like im getting more out of reading them than just grabbing the newest hyped up books that also dont do anything for me#maybe not in a 'wow i loved reading this' way but in like a#'i now have first-hand knowledge of this thing that is so influential / so frequently referenced'#or 'this challenged me and i feel like i did a mental/emotional workout or gave me some new food for thought'#or 'made me more aware of what gaps in my knowledge and reading skills and what my tastes are too'#sort of way...#it really just depends on what you're reading for and why and what you're hoping to get out of it a lot of the time maybe#it's like the homework i give myself to go through these lists that i also intersperse with the stuff i read more just for fun#p
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It kinda feels like when the Owl Crew were all saying their goodbyes to working on the show again.
Nearly everyone in the tags is getting ready for The End.
Like. Damn. It really is the end as far as we know for the entire franchise of The Owl House.
Man.
#its also giving SPoP and SU flashbacks#except its happening in the evening and not during the afternoon like SU or at an all-at-once-release deal like SPoP#getting p emotional#I do remember early in the days. like when Ms Dana Terrace was still in the dt team and doodled Luz#alongside Rebecca Sugar Ian JQ and I think alex hirsch#and ofc the first real poster#and watching it on youtube when it first aired. and even watching it on TV.#I remember a lot of it with twitter too. that viney cult thing. the hype for Understanding Willow. the pic of lil Luz smiling going around.#I remember tons of fics. The Lumity azura actor au thats been LOONG abandoned lmao. the one where Luz was the author of tgwa. tons more.#Of course the excessive hype for Grom.#The hype for the S1B trailer was huge too but Grom. You cannot replicate that. And yknow what? Id go as far to say#not even Hollow Mind had that much hype behind it.#Plus the huge amounts of news coverage and hype after Grom aired.#Like the show was fairly popularish. Nothing too big and was about even with amphibby. But after Grom. BOOM. Huge amounts.#I could really go on. I just cant really believe that its kinda unfairly going away. Possibly never to return. One of The most talked about#animated shows in the past couple years (similar to the likes of Steven Universe! Which was HUGE.) even worldwide.#Nothing lasts forever. It just is unfair the time spent was taken away tho. Happened to others too. Happens so much to animation#and we just Have to accept it because higher-ups are either to proud to their stupid ideals or simply for no real good reason.#This show has had a good impact on animation. I'm always gunna be glad for that. And I'm glad that so many have been touched and loved.#Here's hoping to the future. Maybe more Owl House. Maybe more creativity by the crew. Maybe for better. To The Owl House!#The Owl House#TOH#Owl House
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If you’re a blank blog you’re getting blocked
If you don’t have an age indicator you’re getting blocked
If you say ‘part two?’ You’re getting BLOCKT
#🧚🏽♀️ — luxe chit chat#I’ve blocked so many people this morning it’s maddening like where is ur tumblr etiquette#if u don’t reblog tumblr authors I don’t want u following me tbh#like I work hard on my fics and so does everyone else so like?? reblog? it isn’t hard#and if commenting part two with nothing else is just plain rude#can u not give some reasons why u want a part two?#or be a bit more polite about asking?#legit me and every other writer would be more motivated to write another part if u said what u liked about the first#I know this isn’t a new concept and people talk about it a lot but it’s so TRUE!#like.. c’mon you can’t figure out most of us have praise kinks??#TELL US WHAT U LIKE GIVE US FEEDBACK GO CRAZY WE LOVE THAT#sigh. things will never change here it’s BRUTAL out here#I used to feel bad abt blocking people on me old blog#I still do a lil bit but I’m just over it#do better!! support tumblr authors!! hype them up!!#it rly makes people’s days when u do like it’s such a simple thing and it changes our whole mood#any good morning I’m awake again fr#I had the most revolting nightmare but we ball asfhdksjfks
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The Greek gods and how willing they are to fuck Odysseus (at least according to me)
Not doing all of them, there’s so many
Zeus: He most def would, but not because Ody is special. Like, it’s Zeus, the man would fuck anything as long as it’s breathing. I do think he’d enjoy the pleasure of messing with his older brother though, so he’s extra into it for that
Poseidon: Oh yes. He’d deny it if asked, but he wants to fuck him so badly
Hades: I think he’d fuck him mainly to see what all the hype is about. And to mess with Poseidon of course
Hera: Nah, she’s surprisingly loyal. Which like bitch why
Hestia: Asexual queen
Demeter: She has no idea who Odysseus is tbh. Don’t think she’d be too into it anyways
Apollo: Yeah! That’s not a good thing for Ody tho, as it never ends well for Apollo’s mortal lovers. Mans might be in danger
Artemis: Asexual lesbian queen
Athena: See with her, I don’t know. Their bond is strictly platonic, but I don’t think they’d be against the idea of fucking each other. I do think she’d make him fight for it
Ares: Now for most of the duration of the musical, no I do not think he’d be interested. But after he repeatedly stabs Poseidon with a trident? Oh boy
Aphrodite: Yeah, he’s just her type! Tough warrior that’s secretly a sub :)
Hermes: Mans been willing to fuck him for a long ass time, like I’m impressed by his level of self restraint actually
Dionysus: Is in the same seat as Demeter in that he has little idea of who this dude actually is. Don’t think he’d turn him down though
Hephaestus: I don’t think so, but I have no concrete reason for that answer. Vibe check
Aeolus: No thanks :)
#Tell me I’m wrong if you want to :)#epic#epic the musical#epic spoilers#Manwhore AU#Feels fitting to be here#odysseus#epic odysseus#epic zeus#epic poseidon#Epic Hades#Epic Hera#Epic Hestia#Epic Demeter#Epic Apollo#Epic Artemis#Epic Athena#Epic Ares#epic aphrodite#Epic Hermes#Epic Dionysus#epic hephaestus#epic aeolus#These tags just sounds like I’m very hype about all the gods
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Clingy
Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (BAU!reader)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WC: 3.7k
Summary: You tended to be very expressive with your friends when showing your affection. Whether it showed in pet names or physical touch. Only thing is, Spencer thinks he’s falling in love with you, and all of your sweet affectionate actions are starting to take a toll on his unrequited heart. At least, he thinks it’s unrequited.
Tags: there’s a tiny bit of miscommunication but not too much that it will make your head explode like it does mine. Make out but nothing grown/spicy. Friends to lovers. A bit of hurt/comfort
A/N: Not beta read don’t kill me! yoooo spence is so in denial about her feelings in this but lol so real king. This is mostly from his POV but I had to cheat a few times. Hope i can live up to the hype that complimentary colors was. I low key don't like this one as much but had to execute it cause the idea was cute.
You were starting to drive him insane. Criminally insane. You could invade his thoughts at any waking moment of his day and take over his mind. Every affectionate pet name, every soft fleeting touch, hell every time you look at him, he would replay the moment in his mind like a broken record. If he was in a crowded room, his eyes would always fall on you.
After being with the BAU for a while you became good friends with your coworkers. And with that, came your habit of calling your friends sweet nicknames. Anything from sweetie, to honey, to babes, and the one that broke his heart the most, my love.
At first he didn’t understand why you were using terms of endearment that were typically used in a romantic relationship, but in a platonic way. At some point he caught on that you were similar to Garcia when it came to expressing your love for friends. Similar to her and the way she has her own sweet silly way of expressing how she cares.
Nevertheless, some small part of his heart still broke when you called him those names. He adored your sweet caring nature and the fact that you cared enough about him to call him terms of endearment. But every time a nickname fell from your lips, he was reminded you only meant it platonically.
It was his own personal torture to constantly be reminded he would never be your sweetie, your honey … your love. But the nicknames weren’t enough to drive him insane. While it drove him to the brink of insanity, he was able to keep his head somewhat still on his shoulders.
Not long after the heart warming but crushing nicknames, you showed your true love language. Physical touch. It showed in many forms. It could show when poking JJ in the shoulder and giving Emily a high five. Or nudging Morgan in his side with your elbow. You even managed to get a fist pump from Hotch and Rossi. And of course the welcome and goodbye hugs from Penelope.
You were a bit hesitant at first to express this love language of yours with Spencer due to his aversion to touch and germs. However, you observed that he would gratefully receive occasional touches. Whether it be a hug, high-five, or even the rare ruffle of his hair -which of course would be from Morgan. So you approached him and asked if he was comfortable with physical contact.
When it came to you, he was more than comfortable. You could take him in your arms and he would simply melt into a puddle on the floor. Except he didn’t say that and his reply was closer to a mix of stuttering and rambling about how you could never make him uncomfortable and how he just doesn’t like germs.
Now he’s not saying he regrets his choices. He wouldn’t ever take it back. He enjoys every single lingering touch between the two of you. Actually “enjoys” would be a severe understatement. Every single time you ruffle his hair, lean your head on his shoulder, or even just carefully touch his arm, it was as if a thousand volts of electricity were flowing through him. Like he could light up the city even. You were the best part of his days and the reason breath filled his lungs. You brought a light into his life that made him feel safe and warm.
He desperately wanted your affection, your attention, your touch, to mean something more than he knew it to be. But sooner or later, touch after touch, he started to go insane. Somewhere along the way he had daydreamed so deep he had lost his mind.
You had officially driven Spencer Reid insane.
He was promptly whisked away from his thoughts when he felt the tap of a folder on his shoulder and a light thump on his desk.
“Hotch wants to know your thoughts on the consultation from Colorado,” you started.
He blinked back into focus glancing at the papers on his desk.
“Hey, you alright?” You asked with concern. “You look like your head is in the clouds.”
“I’m fine, just lost in thought,” he answered with a small smile reassuring you.
“Don’t get too lost. Can’t have your genius brain short circuiting on us.” You chuckled as you took a small step closer to him and playfully ruffled his hair.
“I’ll try not to,” he grinned and pushed his hair back after you messed with it.
“Well I’ll be back soon, my love. Gotta go bother Penelope,” you joked before making your way out of the bullpen.
His gaze was lingering on you as you left. His thoughts started to drift to you again as his cheeks turned pink.
“I’ll be back soon, my love,” Morgan mimicked in a higher pitched voice with a grin as he approached Spencer's desk. In response Spencer turned his chair away from Morgan to hide his now red face.
“When are you two going to start dating? You guys already act like a couple.”
“We do not act like a couple,” Spencer argued. “She just sometimes calls me pet names, that's normal for her.”
“You don’t see it do you?” Morgan furrowed his eyebrows and was seconds away from chuckling. “She’s been giving you quite a bit of attention lately. Practically clinging onto you.”
“I mean I- I don’t think so. She does that with everyone, it's not just me. She just happens to be very affectionate with friends.” He answers as his voice almost cracked.
Morgan shook his head, “Oh no it’s more than that. Have you ever noticed that she calls you “my love” but she calls us “love”? Or when we’re on a long flight back home and you two are all cuddly on the jet. How she always seeks out your company and finds an excuse to talk to you or about you.”
Spencer couldn’t speak. He had so many words on the tip of his tongue but his voice wouldn’t make a sound. He sat frozen and mouth slightly agape as his brain started to go into overdrive.
Morgan's face softened at Spencer's reaction. “It’s different with you kid. Friends don’t act like that.”
“You and Garcia do.” Spencer countered, this time definitely with a voice crack. Morgan lightly chucked. He was well aware that his and Penelope’s friendship was a bit different than other male/female friendships.
“Okay you got me there, but you and Y/N aren’t me and Garcia. We may flirt with each other a lot but that’s our thing. You two have this care for each other like nothing I've ever seen.”
Spencer was left stunned once again and Morgan could practically see the gears in his head turning.
“You may not notice it now, or hell you may not let yourself notice it now, but it’s true.”
Those words rang in the back of Spencer's mind for days. Of course on a regular basis you would occupy his mind at any given moment. But now it wasn’t just thoughts about you. His mind was over analyzing almost every interaction between you and him, trying to find what Morgan had talked about. Some form of evidence that proved what you felt for him was beyond what he had initially thought.
He was recounting all the recent times you had approached him out of the members of your team. He recalled all the times you were either hanging out or on the jet and you found yourself tracing patterns on his arm. He was rethinking when you started to use nicknames around him and how it could be different with him than with others. It turned out Morgan might be right, as Spencer realized the numerous times you referred to Garcia or Emily as “love”, but in the rare instance you said “my love” it was only ever directed to him.
The idea of you liking him back had become an all consuming thought, but he was too terrified to ask you. What if Morgan was wrong? Profilers have been wrong before. He became petrified by the idea of asking you about it and possibly finding out his feelings were unrequited. But most of all, he was scared of losing you. Scared that if he brought it up he would make things awkward and ruin your friendship. He couldn’t lose you, not over something as trivial as his feelings.
Unfortunately the mental toll this was taking on his mind started to show. Not so obvious that the everyday person would notice, but you weren’t an everyday person. You grew to know him like the back of your hand. So of course you started to notice the little changes in his behavior. His ever so slight flinch when you would initially touch him. His eyes which used to linger on you and catch your eyes from across the room, now focused almost anywhere you weren’t. The way his body froze when you placed a hand on his shoulder. The way his eyes partially widened when you called him anything other than his name.
He tried to hide his worries from you, but you could tell something was bothering him.
Something about you.
His overall behavior didn’t reflect that he was avoiding you or distancing himself from you. He still talked to you and acted around you like normal. Instead it felt like he was holding himself back from receiving or truly appreciating your affection the way he used to.
~
Days had passed and the team was sent on a case. While this case was an emotional rollercoaster for everyone, it had affected you the most. The victims had reminded you of yourself and the unsub and all of his delusional reasoning for his actions had hit very close to home.
The team caught the unsub and closed the case quite late in the evening. Everyone was exhausted after the grueling past few days and decided to spend the night at the hotel to rest and leave in the morning. You however, still felt an ache in your stomach from all the anxiety felt throughout the day. You couldn’t seem to relax and let that weight off your shoulders. So you went to the one person who could help.
Spencer was getting ready to go to sleep, peacefully reading a book in bed when he got a knock on his door. He placed his book down and when he opened the door he was greeted by you in pajama pants and a zip up hoodie, clearly also winding down for the night.
“Hey,” you greeted.
“Hi, what’s up? Is everything okay?” he asked, a bit concerned as to why you showed up at his hotel so late at night. He opened the door wider signaling you were welcome inside. You entered the room and stuffed your hands in your pockets as he closed the door.
“I’m okay I just …” you cleared your throat. “I know this case has been a tough one but today’s been really hard for me. I’m still wired and awake, I can’t seem to relax enough to go to sleep,” You abruptly stopped your rambling to catch your breath.
“This might sound dumb but, I’m in desperate need of a hug right now,” you finally admitted quietly.
He hated seeing you so timid and closed off. How you made yourself smaller than you were, all because you were asking for your basic needs to be met.
“You don’t have to explain yourself.”
“Huh?”
“You don’t have to explain why you need a hug. You can just ask,” he said reassuringly.
“Oh.”
“Physical contact has been shown to increase levels of dopamine, serotonin, and even oxytocin; therefore, decreasing levels of stress and anxiety. Some people might even argue that physical touch is a fundamental element of being human and experiencing life.” His other way of trying to validate your feelings was of course rambling a string of facts and information from his fingertips.
You couldn’t help but smile. God he loved it when you smiled.
“So is that a yes?” you asked since you never exactly got an answer from your question in the first place. Even though you knew what his answer was.
The corners of his lips turned into a grin. “Come here,” he says with outstretched arms.
You practically ran into him at his offer. He wrapped his arms around you as you placed yours around his neck. He wished this moment could last forever. All while at the same time Morgan's previous statements were circling around in his head.
He tried his best to push them away. He tried to tell himself this was not you acting on any potential feelings for him. This was simply you reaching out to a friend in need.
He took note of the way you held onto him so tightly, almost as if he could leave at any second. It made his heart ache.
“You feel tired,” he almost whispered.
“I am,” you mumbled back, face buried in his neck.
“Do you wanna lie down?”
You lightly patted him on the back, “Don’t worry I’ll leave you be and go to sleep soon. I just need a minute
“I meant … I meant do you want to lie down here?” He stammered. “So you’re not alone. You seem like you need a friend right now.”
His own heart almost cracks when he says friend. But that’s what you need right now, a friend.
“I’d like that,” you said with a small smile.
You separate from him and he leads you to the bed holding your hand. He sits down against the headboard and waits for you to join him.
You awkwardly sit down on the bed, eyes darting in all directions of where he’s sitting. “I- what should I …”
“You could sit down the way you do on the jet,” he kindly offers.
You relax at his words and move to sit at his side. He wraps his arm around you as you rest your head against his shoulder. You both sat there in a moment of silence, enjoying eachothers company. He was getting lost in the sweet smell of your perfume; the small bit of it that still lingers from the long day you’ve had.
He started to recall all the times you two would be close like this. It didn’t happen very often. Sometimes on a long jet ride home from a long or stressful case. Or sometimes when the team went out for drinks and you would be tired from dancing. In the rare occasions you two were like this, you would tend to draw patterns on his arm or leg.
So he decided to finally return the favor. With the arm he had wrapped around you, he started to dance his fingertips over your upper arm.
He felt you practically melt into him at the action. If you could get any closer to him, you did.
He continued tracing your arm with an overwhelming amount of care. It made you consider his previous actions compared to how welcome you were now in his arms.
“Spencer, I’m gonna ask you something, and I need you to be completely honest with me,” you spoke with a hidden hesitation in your voice.
“Of course I’ll be honest to you. I always will be,” he furrowed his brows at the thought of you being scared of him lying to you.
You let out a small, almost shaky breath. “Am I clingy?” you murmured.
This made his hand on your arm stop. He shifted his sitting position so he could face you better but also didn’t want to let you out of his hold.
“No, never,” he told you with assurance. “Why would you think you’re clingy?”
He saw you hesitate once more before you gave him your reply. “I was just overthinking things. Worried I was taking the physical contact thing too far or that I’m a bit too affectionate at times.“
“Why would you be worried? You’d never take things too far. You’ve always been respectful of other people’s boundaries.”
You sighed with a shaky breath. He could practically see through you and see you considering your response.
“Because I thought I was making you uncomfortable.” you looked down to avoid his gaze.
He was quiet for a second, absolutely baffled as to how you would think you could ever make him uncomfortable. “Why?” His question was a barely audible whisper.
“You seemed different. All of a sudden you would freeze when I touched you. You became jumpy and skittish when I talked to you. I thought I was too much for you but you didn’t want to tell me about it.”
You shifted away to face him and his hand fell from your arm. You fidgeted with the sleeves of your hoodie as your face went blank.
“You could never be too much for me,” he spoke with a soft voice. He tried to reach his hand out to hold yours but your hand disappeared in your sleeve at his touch.
“Then why were you different all of a sudden?” You narrowed your eyes at him.
His cheeks started to turn pink, “I- I wasn’t.”
“Yes you were.”
“Y/N please,” he begged.
“Spencer,” you whispered as your eyes bore into his. “You said you’d be honest with me.”
He licked his lips and his face turned red. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He couldn’t find an escape route. He had no choice but to tell you. And once the flood gate opened, he would never be able to close it.
“I was freaking out,” he blurted.
“I was freaking out because Morgan implanted this idea in my head that you might possibly have feelings for me based on the way you act around me. I’ve been obsessed with that thought since he mentioned it. So I freaked out almost every time you touched me, talked to me, even looked at me,” he rambled on anxiously as he tried to explain himself. No holding back now.
“I tried not to let it change my behavior but I guess it did and I am so sorry for that. I never wanted to give you the impression that I was uncomfortable. To be honest I don’t think you could ever make me uncomfortable”
You were silent for a moment. He couldn’t read your reaction. Your eyebrows slightly raised with your lips parted. He could only see surprise, which was typical, he just didn’t know if this kind of surprise was good.
“Why were you so obsessed with the idea of me having feelings for you?”
He could’ve sworn his heart was going to beat out of his chest at any moment.
“Because I think I’m falling in love with you.”
Here we go. Flood gates.
“The idea you might like me back became an all consuming thought because I never before thought it was possible and I never wanted to get my hopes up. Actually, I pretty much think about you all the time so it wasn’t that far from normal. ”
“You’re falling in love with me?” you asked barely above a whisper.
“Yes,” he spoke softly with full confidence.
The only change to your appearance was your eyes widened a bit more. It made Spencer's heart sink to his stomach.
“Listen, I understand if this makes things weird between us and I am so sorry. I just couldn’t ..”
He couldn't finish his thought, you were too busy locking your lips with his. It was a sweet but cautious kiss, almost as if you were testing the waters in uncharted territory. You felt him freeze against you so you leaned away, breaking from the kiss.
Not even seconds later Spencer placed a hand on your face and was diving back into the kiss with fervor. You instantly reacted as your arms found their way around his neck and your hand was digging in his hair. The kiss was intoxicating. Both of you trying to get a taste of the other after what felt like eons of pinning.
He wrapped his arms around your waist while his one hand snuck up to the small of your back where your hoodie had exposed your skin. It sent a shiver up your spine while you let out a shaky breath against his lips. You tried shifting in your seat to somehow get closer to him. With his hands against your waist he helped guide you to sit in his lap straddling him.
When you finally break from the kiss your faces are red and Spencer rests his forehead against yours. You focus on the sound of his breath and the feeling of your heart practically beating in your ears.
Your hand moves to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck. “I guess I didn’t do a very good job at showing I had feelings for you.”
The corners of his mouth lift up into a giddy smile. “No, you did. I’m just oblivious.”
“Sounded like you were in denial,” you lightly teased.
“That too,” he chuckles.
After a moment of enjoying each other's presence, you pull away from him just far enough to look him in the eyes.
“I know I call everyone pet names, but every time I used them with you, I wanted it to mean something more. Part of me would always hope you would one day call me those names back,”
Spencer swore his heart could give out at any second. He never expected to hear this from you and it made him lightheaded.
“This may sound childish but.. I never craved attention so badly, until you gave me yours,” you added.
He licked his lips and smiled. With his hands still on your waist he traced mindless patterns at your sides. “You have my complete and undivided attention, my love.”
His words made you giddy. You bit your lip to keep yourself from giggling. Although, he would never be opposed to hearing your beautiful laugh.
There were no words to describe the way that you felt. So without thinking, you leaned forward once more to capture his lips with yours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tag Requests: @nomajdetective
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid headcanon#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x you#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid fluff
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taking a shower with the jujutsu kaisen men
gojo — despite what his no.1 hater says (gege) i'm telling you and promising you that he showers daily. trust me when i say his white hair is fluffy fresh. spends way too long in the shower and you get a bit bored because he's hyping himself in the mirror beforehand (who's the strongest? you are!). uses a fancy, overpriced shampoo that smells like tropical fruits but leaves the cap off each time. has broken 2-3 waterproof speakers before. once bought a waterproof phone case to scroll his phone in the shower, but ended up getting distracted on tiktok until the water went cold. his bathroom looks like a high end salon, more products than an influencer. leaves little hearts in the condensation on the mirror
nanami — you have your regular showers with nanami, but he's really more of a bath guy i think. like i'm saying a glass of wine and a candle. if he doesn't like you or your name is gojo satoru, then interrupting him here will result in the worst lecture you've ever heard in your life, but if he likes enough, he'll let you sit on the edge of the bath with him and talk about your day. the most pristine bathroom of all time, it's literally a spa. you once asked if his shower head was imbued with cursed energy, because it's just that precise and perfect. very possessive about his towels.
geto — definitely the type to stand under the shower and waste the hot water. this is mainly because he can't help but monologue about his philosophy for too long, and by then, you've hopped out and left him there. the most perfect cherry-blossom floral scented shampoo is the only thing that can touch his thick, glossy hair. his hair is probably stuck to the shower wall a lot, but he tries to blame it on you. weirdly eclectic shower playlists that range from ominous, chanting ballads to 2000s boybands because he claims he's a man with layers.
toji — for a man with a kinda gross job (like assassination isn't all that great right...) he smells good. but that depends on who you ask, because sometimes the scent of cologne is so strong, you feel a little nauseous. prob uses a 3-1 body wash, shampoo and conditioner because its 'all the same anyway.' this makes you cry! spends about three minutes in the shower each time, and then leaves without even drying himself, soaking wet and rawdogging the world. once got a bathrobe as a gift and tried it on for fun, but now uses it all the time when he's lounging around to eat takeout.
sukuna — once asked you to join him for a bath, and you agreed. let's just say you took a big step back when you realises why the bathwater was a thick, gloopy red. you once gave him rubber duckies as a present and he pretended to hate them and gagged. you caught him lining them up in military formation along the edges of the bathtub for 'reasons that aren't your concern.' ended up almost coughing a lung out after accidentally ingesting one too many bubbles. hates most modern inventions but enjoys a good loofah.
#this is so silly <3#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento#geto suguru x reader#geto x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro#sukuna x reader#sukuna#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#works
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Marvel and the Street Kids
Billy likes helping people. Especially people who have, and are still going through something he’s also experienced. Hunger, brokeness, homelessness, if you’ve had to go through any of those things, Billy’s probably going to favor you more than most of the other people he’s saved. I mean, after all, he knows what all of that feels like. It’s why he helps out around soup kitchens a lot. It’s why he donates a hefty bit of his paycheck to homeless shelters and charities. It’s why he works to keep drugs off the streets, and crime at a low. He doesn’t want anyone, man, woman, or child to experience what he has. So, here’s a couple instances where he’s helping some homeless kids we know. (Btw this is the same AU as the Billy and the Robins post. In that post, basically Billy knew Dick and Jason when the two were both Robins) Roy: *in Speedy costume* “Hey Robin, who do you go to whenever you need advice?”
Robin!Jason: *in Robin costume* “Batman, why?”
Roy: “Right, cool. Cool, but what if you can’t ask him a certain question?”
Robin!Jason: “Oh, then I go to Marvel!”
Roy: “Marvel? Like Captain Marvel?”
Robin!Jason: “Yeah!”
Roy: “Huh. Uh… okay then.”
Robin!Jason: “Why do you ask?”
Roy: “No reason.”
Then, a little bit after Oliver kicked Roy out, Marvel was in Star City because Green Arrow needed him for whatever. As of now, Roy was walking down the street, upset because obviously. It’s been an about three days since he was kicked out by someone he considered his dad. All because he had a wee little problem with painkillers, and wee little problem with heroin. You’re supposed to help people who’re addicted. Especially if they’re family. You don’t just kick them out… right?
Roy: *walking down the sidewalk*
Marvel: *flying when he sees him*
Roy: *not paying attention*
Marvel: *flies down in front of him*
Roy: *bumps into Marvel* “Hey, watch where you’re goooo…wha…?” *slowly looks up until he’s craning his neck to look up at him*
Marvel: “Aren’t you GA’s boy?” *looks confused* “What’re you doing out this late?”
Roy: “What?”
Marvel: “Yeah! You’re uh…” *snaps fingers a couple times, thinking* “Speedy. Right?”
Roy: “Do I know you…?” *looks Marvel up in down*
Marvel: “Oh, my bad.” *holds hand out for handshake* “I’m Captain Marvel. I don’t think we’ve properly met.”
Roy: *doesn’t shake hand* “Well you already know me. I’m Speedy.” *shrugs*
They both talk. Marvel gets Roy to open up a bit after he gets the kid a hotdog. While they’re both sitting on a bench eating their respective hotdogs, (I saw the Marvel in civvies post and he’s wearing that exact fit. He magicked up the red sweater, the yellow hat, and the jeans so they could eat in peace) the archer remembers his conversation with Jason. So, he decides he might as well bite the bullet since his friend hyped up the guy so much.
Roy: “Hey… I gotta ask something.”
Marvel: “Hm?” *mid chew*
Roy: “You wouldn’t happen to know any good struggle meals, would you?”
Marvel: *finishes hotdog* “Yeah? I do. You wanna learn some?”
Roy: *hasn’t told Marvel about him being homeless now* “Yeah.” *takes bite of his hotdog*
Marvel: “Okie doki then.”
Roy: “You aren’t gonna ask why?”
Marvel: “It’s not really my place. Unless you want me to ask?”
Roy: “Nah, not really.” *finishes his hotdog*
Marvel: “Then I won’t.” *stands up* “Alright! To the nearest Chuck E. Cheese!” *points in a random direction*
Roy: *also stands up, raising a brow at him. Moves Marvel’s arm in the correct direction* “Why are we going to a Chuck E. Cheese?”
Marvel: “You’ll see. Cmon!” *starts jogging in the direction Roy corrected him to*
Roy: “Dude, wait up!”
When they’re now outside the Chuck E. Cheese…
Marvel: “Alright. So, here’s what you’re gon— Are you good?”
Roy: *out of breath because they just ran about three blocks* “Yeah… Yeah. I’m good. Just uh— gimme a sec.”
Marvel: *gives him until he feels better*
Roy: *looking better now* “So, what were you saying?”
Marvel: “Right, so what you’re gonna be doing is, see those tables?” *gestures to the booths through the Chuck E. Cheese’s windows. Some booths have leftover pizza and chicken wings in them*
Roy: *nods head*
Marvel: “Okay, great. So you’re gonna go steal all of that.”
Roy: *blinks at him before the most befuddled, bamboozled, puzzled expression crosses his face* “What?”
Marvel: “You’re going. To steal. All of that.” *gestures to the tables again*
Roy: *looks between Marvel and the tables* “Dude, I am not stealing scraps from the fucking Chuck E. Cheese tables.”
Marvel: “How else do you expect to get food then?”
Roy: “I don’t know! I expected you to teach me some cheap recipes or something stupid like that!”
Marvel: “Oooooooh, so you don't want struggle meals then.”
Roy: “No, I do. A struggle meal is something like a ketchup sandwich. This is way worse than a goddamn struggle meal.”
Marvel: “You and I clearly have different definitions of a struggle meal, but okay. Also, chill with the cursing, man. I can teach you something cheap if that’s what you actually want.”
Roy: “Okay then, thank you, because the day I need to steal scraps from a Chuck E. Cheese, is the day I lose my dignity.”
Marvel: “Yeah, yeah, come on. Let’s just go to a grocery store.”
Then, there was Cassandra Cain. She was homeless for about nine years before she went to Gotham when she was seventeen. During her homelessness, she never really stayed in one place. One of the places she ended up in was Fawcett when she was about sixteen. There, she met Captain Marvel. She man saved her from a mugging she was about to take care of herself.
Marvel: *staring at her because Solomon’s whispering about how she’s worthy*
Cassandra: *staring right back, picking up confusion in the man’s body language*
Marvel: “What’s your name, miss?”
Cassandra: *stares blankly at him* (Guys, this is before she learned most stuff. So she has no idea what he’s saying and has to go off of body language alone.)
Marvel: *stares back* “Can… You not speak?”
Cassandra: *continues to stare blankly*
Marvel: *sighs* “I’ll take that as a no.” *reaches into pocket dimension*
Cassandra: *startled when she sees half the man’s arm disappear*
Marvel: *pulls out some money and puts it in one of her hands* “Please take this. I can tell you don’t have a home. Starving isn’t fun.”
Cassandra: *sees understanding in Marvel’s body language and looks at the money in her hand then back at Marvel*
Marvel: *hovering off the ground* “Stay safe, miss.” *gives her a little wave before flying off*
Cassandra: *watches him go*
They meet more times after that, and soon, Cassandra ends up being one of the many homeless kids he checks up on. Cassandra comes to enjoy the man’s presence, and Marvel comes to enjoy hers as well. She eventually gets a really good read on the man after a while and he gets a good read on her. She even mimicked the man’s bodily expressions sometimes with a nod here, or a shrug there. Marvel even got to learn her name after she gestured to one of the other kids who had a cast on their leg. He guessed a couple times before he got her actual name. They ended up having to charade it, Beetlejuice style.
Marvel: “Cassie?”
Cassandra: *makes a so-so motion with her hand* (something she picked up from the man) *makes a motion that was supposed to convey it was longer*
Marvel: “Longer…?” *pauses to think for a solid 20 seconds* “Cassandra?”
Cassandra: *gives him a thumbs up* (another gesture learned from him)
Marvel: “Wait that’s actually your name?” *body language shows he’s happy he got it right*
Cassandra: *blankly stares* (Again guys, she has no clue what he’s saying)
Marvel: “Oh, this is awesome!” *body language shows he gets happier. He starts yapping about stuff*
Cassandra: *listens even though it’s all gibberish to her*
Cass liked that she could depend on someone. The man was… sunny. That’s the best way to put it. She liked listening to him talk. He never expected an answer or response. She liked that. She also liked that when she did try to respond, he was patient and did his best to try and understand her. Their friendship (sort of father daughter thing) continued until she was almost seventeen, and soon, things came to an end.
Marvel: “You’re leaving?” *body language shows concern*
Cassandra: *saw him look to the backpack stuffed with things for the trip to the next town. she nods her head*
Marvel: *body language shows disappointment for a moment before acceptance* “I see.” *gives her a warm smile* “It was nice knowing you, Cassandra.” *gives her same little wave he gave her when they first met* “I hope we get to meet again.”
Cassandra: *waves back unlike the first time they met and leaves*
They actually met again, unbeknownst to Marvel, when he was in Gotham to help Bruce with something. They got paired up together to go and do something for the mission.
Marvel: “You know, you remind me of this girl I knew from a while ago.”
Cassandra: *silence and a stare because she knows he’s talking about herself*
Marvel: “Yeah, she would’ve done that same blank stare too.”
Cassandra: *wondering how he knows she’s pulling the same face as herself*
Some goons decided to interrupt them before she could figure that out.
#billy batson#captain marvel dc#dc captain marvel#shazam#fawcett#fawcett city#fawcett comics#roy harper#speedy dc#cassandra cain#black bat#cassandra wayne#batgirl#orphan#batgirl 2000
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Google’s enshittification memos
[Note, 9 October 2023: Google disputes the veracity of this claim, but has declined to provide the exhibits and testimony to support its claims. Read more about this here.]
When I think about how the old, good internet turned into the enshitternet, I imagine a series of small compromises, each seemingly reasonable at the time, each contributing to a cultural norm of making good things worse, and worse, and worse.
Think about Unity President Marc Whitten's nonpology for his company's disastrous rug-pull, in which they declared that everyone who had paid good money to use their tool to make a game would have to keep paying, every time someone downloaded that game:
The most fundamental thing that we’re trying to do is we’re building a sustainable business for Unity. And for us, that means that we do need to have a model that includes some sort of balancing change, including shared success.
https://www.wired.com/story/unity-walks-back-policies-lost-trust/
"Shared success" is code for, "If you use our tool to make money, we should make money too." This is bullshit. It's like saying, "We just want to find a way to share the success of the painters who use our brushes, so every time you sell a painting, we want to tax that sale." Or "Every time you sell a house, the company that made the hammer gets to wet its beak."
And note that they're not talking about shared risk here – no one at Unity is saying, "If you try to make a game with our tools and you lose a million bucks, we're on the hook for ten percent of your losses." This isn't partnership, it's extortion.
How did a company like Unity – which became a market leader by making a tool that understood the needs of game developers and filled them – turn into a protection racket? One bad decision at a time. One rationalization and then another. Slowly, and then all at once.
When I think about this enshittification curve, I often think of Google, a company that had its users' backs for years, which created a genuinely innovative search engine that worked so well it seemed like *magic, a company whose employees often had their pick of jobs, but chose the "don't be evil" gig because that mattered to them.
People make fun of that "don't be evil" motto, but if your key employees took the gig because they didn't want to be evil, and then you ask them to be evil, they might just quit. Hell, they might make a stink on the way out the door, too:
https://theintercept.com/2018/09/13/google-china-search-engine-employee-resigns/
Google is a company whose founders started out by publishing a scientific paper describing their search methodology, in which they said, "Oh, and by the way, ads will inevitably turn your search engine into a pile of shit, so we're gonna stay the fuck away from them":
http://infolab.stanford.edu/pub/papers/google.pdf
Those same founders retained a controlling interest in the company after it went IPO, explaining to investors that they were going to run the business without having their elbows jostled by shortsighted Wall Street assholes, so they could keep it from turning into a pile of shit:
https://abc.xyz/investor/founders-letters/ipo-letter/
And yet, it's turned into a pile of shit. Google search is so bad you might as well ask Jeeves. The company's big plan to fix it? Replace links to webpages with florid paragraphs of chatbot nonsense filled with a supremely confident lies:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/14/googles-ai-hype-circle/
How did the company get this bad? In part, this is the "curse of bigness." The company can't grow by attracting new users. When you have 90%+ of the market, there are no new customers to sign up. Hypothetically, they could grow by going into new lines of business, but Google is incapable of making a successful product in-house and also kills most of the products it buys from other, more innovative companies:
https://killedbygoogle.com/
Theoretically, the company could pursue new lines of business in-house, and indeed, the current leaders of companies like Amazon, Microsoft and Apple are all execs who figured out how to get the whole company to do something new, and were elevated to the CEO's office, making each one a billionaire and sealing their place in history.
It is for this very reason that any exec at a large firm who tries to make a business-wide improvement gets immediately and repeatedly knifed by all their colleagues, who correctly reason that if someone else becomes CEO, then they won't become CEO. Machiavelli was an optimist:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/microincentives-and-enshittification/
With no growth from new customers, and no growth from new businesses, "growth" has to come from squeezing workers (say, laying off 12,000 engineers after a stock buyback that would have paid their salaries for the next 27 years), or business customers (say, by colluding with Facebook to rig the ad market with the Jedi Blue conspiracy), or end-users.
Now, in theory, we might never know exactly what led to the enshittification of Google. In theory, all of compromises, debates and plots could be lost to history. But tech is not an oral culture, it's a written one, and techies write everything down and nothing is ever truly deleted.
Time and again, Big Tech tells on itself. Think of FTX's main conspirators all hanging out in a group chat called "Wirefraud." Amazon naming its program targeting weak, small publishers the "Gazelle Project" ("approach these small publishers the way a cheetah would pursue a sickly gazelle”). Amazon documenting the fact that users were unknowingly signing up for Prime and getting pissed; then figuring out how to reduce accidental signups, then deciding not to do it because it liked the money too much. Think of Zuck emailing his CFO in the middle of the night to defend his outsized offer to buy Instagram on the basis that users like Insta better and Facebook couldn't compete with them on quality.
It's like every Big Tech schemer has a folder on their desktop called "Mens Rea" filled with files like "Copy_of_Premeditated_Murder.docx":
https://doctorow.medium.com/big-tech-cant-stop-telling-on-itself-f7f0eb6d215a?sk=351f8a54ab8e02d7340620e5eec5024d
Right now, Google's on trial for its sins against antitrust law. It's a hard case to make. To secure a win, the prosecutors at the DoJ Antitrust Division are going to have to prove what was going on in Google execs' minds when the took the actions that led to the company's dominance. They're going to have to show that the company deliberately undertook to harm its users and customers.
Of course, it helps that Google put it all in writing.
Last week, there was a huge kerfuffile over the DoJ's practice of posting its exhibits from the trial to a website each night. This is a totally normal thing to do – a practice that dates back to the Microsoft antitrust trial. But Google pitched a tantrum over this and said that the docs the DoJ were posting would be turned into "clickbait." Which is another way of saying, "the public would find these documents very interesting, and they would be damning to us and our case":
https://www.bigtechontrial.com/p/secrecy-is-systemic
After initially deferring to Google, Judge Amit Mehta finally gave the Justice Department the greenlight to post the document. It's up. It's wild:
https://www.justice.gov/d9/2023-09/416692.pdf
The document is described as "notes for a course on communication" that Google VP for Finance Michael Roszak prepared. Roszak says he can't remember whether he ever gave the presentation, but insists that the remit for the course required him to tell students "things I didn't believe," and that's why the document is "full of hyperbole and exaggeration."
OK.
But here's what the document says: "search advertising is one of the world's greatest business models ever created…illicit businesses (cigarettes or drugs) could rival these economics…[W]e can mostly ignore the demand side…(users and queries) and only focus on the supply side of advertisers, ad formats and sales."
It goes on to say that this might be changing, and proposes a way to balance the interests of the search and ads teams, which are at odds, with search worrying that ads are pushing them to produce "unnatural search experiences to chase revenue."
"Unnatural search experiences to chase revenue" is a thinly veiled euphemism for the prophetic warnings in that 1998 Pagerank paper: "The goals of the advertising business model do not always correspond to providing quality search to users." Or, more plainly, "ads will turn our search engine into a pile of shit."
And, as Roszak writes, Google is "able to ignore one of the fundamental laws of economics…supply and demand." That is, the company has become so dominant and cemented its position so thoroughly as the default search engine across every platforms and system that even if it makes its search terrible to goose revenues, users won't leave. As Lily Tomlin put it on SNL: "We don't have to care, we're the phone company."
In the enshittification cycle, companies first lure in users with surpluses – like providing the best search results rather than the most profitable ones – with an eye to locking them in. In Google's case, that lock-in has multiple facets, but the big one is spending billions of dollars – enough to buy a whole Twitter, every single year – to be the default search everywhere.
Google doesn't buy its way to dominance because it has the very best search results and it wants to shield you from inferior competitors. The economically rational case for buying default position is that preventing competition is more profitable than succeeding by outperforming competitors. The best reason to buy the default everywhere is that it lets you lower quality without losing business. You can "ignore the demand side, and only focus on advertisers."
For a lot of people, the analysis stops here. "If you're not paying for the product, you're the product." Google locks in users and sells them to advertisers, who are their co-conspirators in a scheme to screw the rest of us.
But that's not right. For one thing, paying for a product doesn't mean you won't be the product. Apple charges a thousand bucks for an iPhone and then nonconsensually spies on every iOS user in order to target ads to them (and lies about it):
https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar
John Deere charges six figures for its tractors, then runs a grift that blocks farmers from fixing their own machines, and then uses their control over repair to silence farmers who complain about it:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/31/dealers-choice/#be-a-shame-if-something-were-to-happen-to-it
Fair treatment from a corporation isn't a loyalty program that you earn by through sufficient spending. Companies that can sell you out, will sell you out, and then cry victim, insisting that they were only doing their fiduciary duty for their sacred shareholders. Companies are disciplined by fear of competition, regulation or – in the case of tech platforms – customers seizing the means of computation and installing ad-blockers, alternative clients, multiprotocol readers, etc:
https://doctorow.medium.com/an-audacious-plan-to-halt-the-internets-enshittification-and-throw-it-into-reverse-3cc01e7e4604?sk=85b3f5f7d051804521c3411711f0b554
Which is where the next stage of enshittification comes in: when the platform withdraws the surplus it had allocated to lure in – and then lock in – business customers (like advertisers) and reallocate it to the platform's shareholders.
For Google, there are several rackets that let it screw over advertisers as well as searchers (the advertisers are paying for the product, and they're also the product). Some of those rackets are well-known, like Jedi Blue, the market-rigging conspiracy that Google and Facebook colluded on:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jedi_Blue
But thanks to the antitrust trial, we're learning about more of these. Megan Gray – ex-FTC, ex-DuckDuckGo – was in the courtroom last week when evidence was presented on Google execs' panic over a decline in "ad generating searches" and the sleazy gimmick they came up with to address it: manipulating the "semantic matching" on user queries:
https://www.wired.com/story/google-antitrust-lawsuit-search-results/
When you send a query to Google, it expands that query with terms that are similar – for example, if you search on "Weds" it might also search for "Wednesday." In the slides shown in the Google trial, we learned about another kind of semantic matching that Google performed, this one intended to turn your search results into "a twisted shopping mall you can’t escape."
Here's how that worked: when you ran a query like "children's clothing," Google secretly appended the brand name of a kids' clothing manufacturer to the query. This, in turn, triggered a ton of ads – because rival brands will have bought ads against their competitors' name (like Pepsi buying ads that are shown over queries for Coke).
Here we see surpluses being taken away from both end-users and business customers – that is, searchers and advertisers. For searchers, it doesn't matter how much you refine your query, you're still going to get crummy search results because there's an unkillable, hidden search term stuck to your query, like a piece of shit that Google keeps sticking to the sole of your shoe.
But for advertisers, this is also a scam. They're paying to be matched to users who search on a brand name, and you didn't search on that brand name. It's especially bad for the company whose name has been appended to your search, because Google has a protection racket where the company that matches your search has to pay extra in order to show up overtop of rivals who are worse matches. Both the matching company and those rivals have given Google a credit-card that Google gets to bill every time a user searches on the company's name, and Google is just running fraudulent charges through those cards.
And, of course, Google put this in writing. I mean, of course they did. As we learned from the documentary The Incredibles, supervillains can't stop themselves from monologuing, and in big, sprawling monopolists, these monologues have to transmitted electronically – and often indelibly – to far-flung co-cabalists.
As Gray points out, this is an incredibly blunt enshittification technique: "it hadn’t even occurred to me that Google just flat out deletes queries and replaces them with ones that monetize better." We don't know how long Google did this for or how frequently this bait-and-switch was deployed.
But if this is a blunt way of Google smashing its fist down on the scales that balance search quality against ad revenues, there's plenty of subtler ways the company could sneak a thumb on there. A Google exec at the trial rhapsodized about his company's "contract with the user" to deliver an "honest results policy," but given how bad Google search is these days, we're left to either believe he's lying or that Google sucks at search.
The paper trail offers a tantalizing look at how a company went from doing something that was so good it felt like a magic trick to being "able to ignore one of the fundamental laws of economics…supply and demand," able to "ignore the demand side…(users and queries) and only focus on the supply side of advertisers."
What's more, this is a system where everyone loses (except for Google): this isn't a grift run by Google and advertisers on users – it's a grift Google runs on everyone.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/03/not-feeling-lucky/#fundamental-laws-of-economics
My next novel is The Lost Cause, a hopeful novel of the climate emergency. Amazon won't sell the audiobook, so I made my own and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter!
#pluralistic#enshittification#semantic matching#google#antitrust#trustbusting#transparency#fatfingers#serp#the algorithm#telling on yourself
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Smartphone cameras are NOT getting worse. (See below for phone photography tips)
I've now seen 3 pro photographers reviewing the iPhone 16 and complaining the cameras are "worse" and blaming Apple for not including revolutionary new camera technology.
And I suppose this is partly Apple's fault. Their marketing and hype machine always goes overboard. But also, that's just how marketing works. Samsung has a "200 megapixel" sensor and Sony has a "Zeiss" lens. And I think it is unrealistic to expect smartphone companies to say "This product has entered the iterative phase and each new model will only be marginally improved over the last one."
Smartphones (from any brand) have become an appliance. You don't buy a new model of microwave every year. And you don't expect every new model of microwave to have new revolutionary technology. And that is pretty much the expectation you should have with most computer hardware from here on out.
And in some ways, that is a good thing. That means the design of the phone has pretty much been perfected and it will last you a long time if you take care of it. You will not be left behind and your phone will be able to handle any new software for most of its lifespan.
So, is Apple getting lazy or is there a reason their hardware is stagnating?
It seems that neither money nor marketing can change the laws of physics.
They cannot make transistors much smaller. Phones and computers are about as fast as current hardware designs can make them (unless there is a shocking scientific breakthrough). From here on out, heavy compute tasks that are beyond your phone or computer will be done in the cloud on giant computer clusters. Thankfully computers and phones seem to be plenty fast for the majority of tasks we ask of them.
I remember Katrina telling me her new computer didn't seem any faster. And I explained the computing tasks she does regularly were not really affected by the increased power and speed of her new computer. If something took 0.1 seconds before and now it takes 0.05 seconds, that is twice as fast. An increase in speed that looks fantastic in advertisements. But it is hard for our brains to perceive. She just didn't do anything on her computer that took it long enough for her to notice. But having a faster and more powerful computer/phone will increase its lifespan and resale value, so it is still prudent to get the best things you can afford at time of purchase.
And I'm afraid smartphone cameras are hitting their own hardware limitations. They can't make the sensors much larger to get better depth of field and low light performance. And cramming in more megapixels doesn't actually add much more detail, if any.
It's physics.
Again.
You cannot get any more performance out of a small plastic lens. Why do you think pro photographers haul around 10 pound lenses still?
There is a formula for detail that never seems to be explained in any camera marketing.
Here is the simplified version...
Detail = Sensor x Lens
Let's say 1 is perfection. You have a sensor that performs at 0.5 and a lens that performs at 0.2.
The total detail will be 0.1.
But in the new model you increase the performance of the sensor to 0.8. WOW! That's so close to 1!
The total detail will be... 0.16.
Now let's imagine we've discovered a magic, physics-defying tiny plastic lens that performs at 0.8 as well.
The total detail jumps to 0.64!
But we all get sucked into a wormhole because we violated the laws of the universe.
Even if you were to design a near perfect (perfect is impossible) sensor that scores 0.99.
Without that magic plastic lens... 0.198
This is why I put Samsung's "200 megapixel" sensors in quotes. Because when paired with the same tiny plastic lens, there isn't much improvement. And that's why a 12 megapixel DSLR from 10 years ago with a giant honking lens can still capture more detail.
Most of the quality from smartphone cameras comes from the computational software processing. Phones actually take many photos at once and combine them to get you a decent image.
While that is still improving a little bit each generation, those improvements are stagnating as well. Until image processing can do a better job of inventing more detail realistically, smartphones are going to have to obey the laws of physics.
So... why are photographers saying the iPhone cameras are worse?
First, the ultra wide angle lens looks softer in low light.
And if you zoom between 1x and 5x, the images look less detailed.
But neither of those things make the cameras *worse*. In fact, the cameras are better for the most part. It's just that Apple decided to compromise on one aspect to improve another. Probably due to market research telling them most people prioritize certain things over others when taking photos.
They increased the resolution of the ultra wide angle sensor to match the detail of the main sensor, but that seems to have lowered the low light performance of the ultra wide. So in good light, you will see an improvement in sharpness. But they could not increase the sensor size to compensate and smaller pixels can have trouble with dim conditions. They probably discovered that people mostly use that lens in good light and they would appreciate the bump in detail more.
But pro photographers often photograph in more challenging lighting conditions because you can capture a more artistic shot. I don't think I could have gotten this shot on a smartphone.
But photo normies are just taking pics of their kids doing weird kid shit.
They aren't really trying to push the limits of their ultra wide angle lenses.
And they increased the zoom of the telephoto lens to 5x from 3x because most people never used the 3x. So images at 5x look great now, but unfortunately if you use anything between 1x and 5x, your image will be *digitally* zoomed. Which is never as good as optical zoom. They basically crop the photo, zoom in, and add sharpening.
So they prioritized people having longer reach and more zoom at the expense of that middle zoom range. Every camera system makes tradeoffs and compromises.
And I hate that I always feel like I am defending Apple, because they do have misleading and dishonest marketing regarding a lot of aspects of their tech. But hating on Apple gets more clicks so content creators also make misleading and dishonest claims.
And so we are just surrounded in a circle of hyperbole from all sides.
Now, if you know these limitations, you can change your approach to photographing stuff to keep them from being an issue. You can reap the benefits without dealing with the new compromises.
Here are some tips to help owners of the new iPhone, but also everyone else too.
Smartphone Photography Tips
Whenever possible, try to use the main 1x camera at only 1x zoom. This has the largest sensor with the most detail and works best in the lowest light. Only use the ultra wide or telephoto if you cannot get the photo otherwise. If you aren't sure you have enough light for ultra wide, take the photo, and then as a safety, take two photos with the main camera side by side and stitch them later with a pano app.
"Zoom with your feet" and don't use "in-between" zooms. Let's say your lenses do 0.5x, 1x, and 5x zoom. Even though you have the option to use other zooms, like 2x or 3x, that is going to compromise your picture quality. It is essentially going to crop your photo and enlarge it, which causes a loss of detail. If fact, if you use 4.5x instead of 5x, your picture will probably look like trash. You are always going to get better results if you can move closer or step back so that you are using the native focal length of your chosen lens. For example, let's say you are taking a photo and you judge the best framing to be at 4x. But you still have 10 feet of space behind you. If you back up and then zoom in to 5x, the phone will switch to that lens and you will get a much clearer picture.
Rule of thumb...
1 to 3x... try to move closer.
4 to 5x... try to move back.
If you hit a wall and end up at 4.5x, you might see if you have a panorama mode and try that instead. Switch to your 5x and do the pano. Or you can take two photos and then stitch them together with software later on. (Stitching panos with an app later will give better quality than pano mode, especially in low light.)
Low light needs stability. Get some sort of stabilizing device for low light photos. Either a phone case that lets you stand up the phone on its own or a mini tripod.
This thing folds to the size of a credit card.
Your phone will detect when it is stable and not being handheld. It will then automatically extend its shutter speed allowing it to drink in more light and give you a better picture.
Tripods are photography magic and will improve your low light photos quite a bit. Motion blur of moving subjects can still be an issue, but photos of a cityscape or landscape will look great.
For selfies, shoot a little bit wide and then crop in. This goes a little contrary to my earlier advice saying cropping lowers detail, but this is specifically for shooting a face. The 0.5x and 1x lenses on smartphone cameras are fairly wide angle. This can cause unflattering proportions with human faces. Wide angle lenses exaggerate distance. Near things look very near and far things look very far. To a wide angle lens, the tip of your nose looks like it is super close but your ears seem like they are a mile away. And that's why you may look a bit "alien" in your selfies.
People's natural instinct is to "fill the frame" with a face. The outer edges of a wide angle lens are more distorted than the very center. So try to keep faces away from the edges of the frame.
And one other trick you can do for selfies and pictures of faces is step back a few feet. Sometimes this is hard, especially with selfies, as your arm is only so long... but if you can take your face photos from just a little bit farther back, you will almost entirely eliminate unflattering distortion. In some cases, just stretching out your arm as far as it will go is enough.
Then you just crop the image with the framing you originally wanted, and your facial proportions will look great.
An example...
Here the distortion is bad because I am not in the center and the lens is too close to my face. The lens thinks my nose is really close and my ears are in Canada.
But when the lens is farther back the edge distortion is less prevalent and my nose and ears (relative to the lens) seem roughly the same distance away. So my proportions look great, but I don't quite have the framing I want.
But with a little cropping...
For social media there is still plenty of resolution to crop in. Cropping isn't bad, it's just always better to use it as a last resort or in a special circumstance like this. I get roughly the same framing as in my wide angle shot, but I don't look like I'm behind a door's peephole trying to sell you the Good News.
I wish they made a "mini" selfie stick that only extended a foot or so. With the main camera that is usually all people need to undo any wide angle issues. I have one of those mini tripods and that works well, but there is no activation button so I have to do a timer. Mirrors work great to help you get some selfie distance.
In any case, all cameras have limitations and compromises. Clickbait titles saying something is WORSE THAN THE OLD ONE are frustrating and wrong.
And people upgrading phones every year are silly. All current name brand smartphones have promised at least 5 years of software updates. I think Google and Samsung are offering 7 years on some models. And Apple has always just let you use your phone until it literally will not work with new software. Which has worked out to 8 years in some cases (with a battery swap).
Phones are now appliances. For now, hardware will improve 10 to 15% from generation to generation until physics breaks. So if you want a 50% improvement, wait 5 years and you'll think your new phone is awesome. If you upgrade every year, it is going to be difficult to see the change.
I hope to be starting a little course on smartphone photography in the near future. All modern phones are capable of taking amazing pictures. And as long as you understand their limitations you can mitigate or avoid them. And that is what I plan to teach.
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𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐆𝐈𝐅𝐓 | OS
sae itoshi x fem reader ; words: 1.4k (1487)
coming from this event, second day, 19/12
𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ; take a look, trust me!
plot: that your boyfriend was sometimes distant was not a new thing. he often needed his space, both physical and mental, and you accepted this. but you did not expect him to put a match in the first place of the list on the day of your wedding anniversary
The pillowcase was slowly drying after collecting all those tears, but a wet feeling was still noticeable if you rested your cheek on it. Even though hours had passed, the wet feeling remained on your cheeks too. The room was silent, the only audible noise came from the flat-screen television, which with dazzling lights transmitted the face of your boyfriend, now husband, in his ReAl uniform. Hair combed as usual, the same serious face, the same Sae Itoshi. The only thing that still gave a little hype to his fans was the ring that reflected on his finger, which he had been wearing for exactly a year now. Your wedding had left the entire football world speechless, because no one would have ever expected to see Sae Itoshi, the Japanese prodigy, become a mass of love for a simple girl
Yet, exactly one year ago, Sae had sworn to himself that your dreams, your ideals, your everything would now also become his inspiration; that now, no matter what the situation, he would do anything to be by your side. Your dream was to have a normal first anniversary, but why he wasn't there with you? What happened to his heartfelt promises?
It's that Sae, despite being a mass of love, remained Sae. Sae, who needs his space from time to time; Sae, who loves solitude as much as he loves being with you; Sae, who nevertheless remains the most famous soccer player in Japan for his prodigious skills. You had to understand that something like this would happen sooner or later, but you didn't expect it on this day
The game begins. You watch your husband move nimbly among the opponents, who try in every way to keep him from getting close to the net
Your head still hurt a little from the little fight you had. This morning you had woken up with the intention of spending the most romantic day in the world with your husband; yet, when you woke up and didn't find him in bed next to you, you realized that there was a problem, or that maybe he was simply hungry and had gone earlier than expected to have breakfast in the kitchen. Getting out of bed you heard his voice talking on the phone to someone, and when you arrived in the living room he didn't even say 'good morning'
"I'm leaving. The team is one player short due to an injury, they asked me to play"
You had replied that he didn't have to accept, that he had literally asked for a day off just to be with you, and yet now he didn't seem to care as he packed all his usual things into his sports bag and left the house, leaving you sad and also a little disappointed. You couldn't explain how you, his wife, had been put in second place because of a stupid game. How could he have done it?
You and Sae had been together for years now, but never, never, absolutely never, he had put you second to soccer, which was strange actually. When you started dating him you had already gotten used to the idea that, if everything had gone well between you, you would always be second to his greatest passion; and yet, it had never happened, in fact, it had happened that he had canceled training to be with you. But why did it happen now that you were even married?
He was playing in a nearby stadium actually, a few kilometers from your house in sunny Madrid. For a moment you had the idea of taking the car and going with him, surprising him and forgetting about this situation, but you hadn't done it for the simple reason that you felt exaggeratedly annoyed. You have always been a calm and patient person, especially with Sae who you knew needed his space and, in some cases, his time. But now, wrapped up in your bed with the pillow to your chest and your gaze fixed on the television, calm and patience seemed to be only a distant and beautiful memory
The commentator starts talking in a rant just as your husband is frighteningly close to the opponent's goal, the ball tightly in his field of action. With a sharp and precise backheel the ball ends up in the net, causing the entire stadium to erupt in a hungry roar for more goals from the Japanese prodigy. Even though you were angry with him, deep down you couldn't help but be proud to see him shine, even if him being there had caused you pain and annoyance
The cameras are all focused on the boy, who with his usual nonchalance does nothing special. Scoring goals is extremely easy for him, more than once you have asked yourself if he actually puts in the least effort or if he just puts the autopilot on every time he enters the field. The precision with him kicks the ball is measured to the millimeter, and you have to say that it is the same he has always had with you since you have been together. It wasn't an easy cohabitation at the beginning, but you loved him and he loved you, so with patience you tried to understand how to reach a point of agreement
The second half begins. The opposing team marks him with a sort of rage, but the ball always comes back to your husband's feet, like a magnet. It only takes a few minutes before another goal, again by Sae, brings his team to an unmatched level, no longer reachable by the opposing team. It is impossible to recover 2 goals in less than 10 minutes, and then frankly the opponents seem a bit poor to you. And just as you predicted, the game ends with the spanish team winning and the crowd chanting your husband's name
You get out of bed, sitting on the mattress as the reporters come out to interview the players. You know Sae doesn't like being interviewed, so he'll probably be home in less than another hour; the air will probably be a little uncomfortable because of the little fight, but you sigh. It just happened
You are about to leave the room to go get a glass of water, when you hear your husband's voice on television. An interviewer caught him just as he was about to enter the players' exit corridor, the one that leads to the locker rooms
"Sae, really amazing match today"
"Yes. I think the same."
"From the director it was understood that today you actually weren't supposed to play, you had the day off but you freed yourself anyway when you learned about the problem due to the missing player. The day off was for your anniversary?"
"Yes. I was supposed to celebrate with my wife actually."
"And you're playing here? Wife in the background like most players? It wouldn't actually be new-"
"Please don't label me as someone who doesn't care about my wife. If I didn't care about her, I wouldn't have asked her to marry me, right?"
"I'm not saying that's, just that-"
"I love my wife. Today is our anniversary and if I scored 2 goals the team should thank her, since they were dedicated to her. It's just the first part of my gift"
"It's just that-"
"I have to go. You're taking away time I could spend with her."
And so, walking away from the reporter, Sae enters the corridor and disappears. You remain still for a few seconds, turning only when the reporter talks about something else. Sae is not one to show his love, not that he is ashamed, but it is not in his reserved nature to do so; and now, in front of millions of people, he has so freely admitted everything he feels?
Was that your husband? It really was your Sae?
You run to the kitchen, grabbing your phone and entering his chat, where you find a message you hadn't read, sent shortly after you argued
— hubby <3 🐙❤️
Don't take this the wrong way. I'm not doing this because I don't care about our day
- Did you actually say those things on TV? Do you have a fever?
You finally answered. No fever, sorry to disappoint you. I just wanted to do it
- It was unexpected
That I dedicated goals to you or that I talked about you so openly?
- Both
I'm coming home. Sorry for earlier, but I want to tell you to your face. There are more gifts I still have to give you, it is our anniversary after all, right?
If he had all these gifts he talked about, maybe you could give him yours that you've been mulling over since last night. Maybe it was time to show him that pregnancy test that's been in your drawer for hours
TAG: @natmagaesp ; @kittenish0 ; @x3nafix
#sae itoshi#itoshi sae#sae itoshi x reader#itoshi sae x reader#sae x reader#sae blue lock#sae bllk#bllk sae#bllk itoshi sae#itoshi sae x you#itoshi sae x y/n#sae itoshi x you#sae itoshi x y/n#sae x you#sae x y/n#bllk x reader#bllk x you#bllk x y/n#bllk x female reader#bllk x gender neutral reader#bluelock x you#blue lock x reader#blue lock x you#blue lock x y/n#blue lock x female reader#bluelock x reader#blue lock#bllk#blue lock x gender neutral reader#blue lock season 2
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Kim Mingyu as a boyfriend...
I feel like people naturally gravitate towards Mingyu
And that's for many different reasons
He's always given off the impression that he's a kind person
The way he treats his members (basically his brothers at this point)
The way other people act around him
Idk I've just always gotten the impression that what you see on camera is most likely what Mingyu is like off camera
He's just a real dude living that "idol" life
So anyways...
What would it be like to date Mingyu?
Well first off all, I think he'd make you laugh
A. Lot.
A literal ray of sunshine
Mingyu is an extrovert
Extroverts get a lot of their energy from being around other people
I'd see him acting all happy, trying to wake you up in the morning
Kissing your face all over, whispering, "Wake up."
Of course with that infamous smile on his face
Or picture going out to eat with him.
Sitting at the table, picking food off of each other's plates, just talking about your day
Or going to different things together, like parties
And he's navigating through the crowd, holding your hand tightly in his own, never letting go of it
Oh, imagine the hugs he'd give?
He's so tall so it'd feel like you're being enveloped into his warm, *muscular*, embrace.
You'd probably meet Wonwoo first considering the fact that they live together
I see Mingyu as the type to really help you out when it comes to social situations
If you were a little shy around his members when you first met them, he would always be by your side, making jokes and trying to get you to feel comfortable and fit in
Because he cares about you, and he wants you to become as close with his members as he is
Another trait of Mingyu's is that he gets flustered when he gets complimented
He appears to be a really confident person, but I do think that deep down, praise is something he might not necessarily e used to hearing
Like don't get me wrong, I'm sure that he's aware of the fact that he's a hot man...
But even the hotties have their days where they need some encouragement
So when you compliment his hair, or his outfit
You can see how his cheeks turn red and he starts to nervously laugh
"What? Mingyu I think you should wear that color more often!" you'd laugh as you watched Mingyu cover his face, peeping in the mirror in front of him to see if you were telling the truth.
As with most of my BF headcanon posts, I'm sure Mingyu would be counting down the days until he felt like the relationship was serious enough to introduce you to his family
And he'd really try to make sure you meshed well with them too, just like with the members
Anyways, back to more of his litlte habits
Mingyu would be the type of boyfriend that would do something stupid just to make you smile or, even better, laugh if you were having a bad day
It legitimately breaks his heart to see you upset
Would have beef with anyone who hurt you
You got in a fight with your friend, but you resolved it? Mingyu tolerates her, but deep down, he hates her now
But he'd never tell you that because he doesn't want to overstep
But if you and that friend ever got in another fight, the minute you'd try to vent to Mingyu he'd blurt out;
"I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON WHY I NEVER LIKED HER!"
And you'd be like: 👀
But speaking of friends...
I think he'd constantly be talking about you
In his friend group
With the other members
He'd become that guy where someone would ask him what he did over the weekend or on his day off and he'd turn the conversation into a 30 minute conversation of why you'd be the best perosn to travel with or something
Remember how I said Mingyu is always there beside you to back you up?
Well, even if you aren't with him, he's always going to hype you up if he mentions you
Another trait of his that comes to mind is his cooking skill
Word on the street is that Mingyu can chef it up
So let's say you don't feel like going out that night
No problem, Mingyu's gonna make you some good home cooking
And he's say something stupid like how the food is "infused with his love."
*Ahem*
If you're a frequent reader, you know what time it is...
Shexy Shtuffffff
GURL
Have you seen those arms?
Yes? Well I'm gonna show you a pic anyways
Just so we have a visual element involved
What's that doja cat song? Where she talks about that wrestling position lmao
omg let me shut up
Okay, for him I see a lot of physical affection
A lot of making out
Kisses would be his version of eye contact
A lot of caressing your face
He's pretty athletic, so I could see him having high stamina
Like, I don't see you being able to retire for the night after one round with him unless he's really tired from work
Would probably be loud in bed
But I don't see him as a risk taker when it comes to stuff like location
So you'd be getting freaky ONLY in the sheets
Or maybe the shower
Here's my thought process:
Maybe if he knows no one's around he'd do you on the couch if you were watching something and he was getting turned on
But I mainly see him as the type to do the foreplay on the couch or in the kitchen
Or maybe if you guys are out somewhere and he's starting to get a little frisky
He'd be he type to rush home just so you could have sex
Um, and if you've seen that man, enjoy and congratulations
_
TAGS: @minvxq *I remembered!*
_
{A/N: Hiiiii. I know it's been a month but the winter season has me DEPRESSED. I had a pretty hectic end to my semester. A lot of work all at once but I'm officially on my winter break now and my brain can finally feel like it has a break ,which means I had the mental clarity to write again. I thought a head canon would be a good way to ease back into writing, so I hope you guys like it. This one was requested so as always, I love you and have a good day/night, mwahhhhh💋}
#mingyu#kim mingyu#seventeen#svt#seventeen headcanons#seventeen as boyfriends#seventeen smut#seventeen x reader#svt fluff#seventeen fluff#svt smut#svt x reader#svt headcanons#mingyu x reader#mingyu seventeen#mingyu fluff#mingyu smut#mingyu imagines
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𝐓𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐬 | (𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 1)
➳❥ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬: Kurosaki Ichigo, Kyoraku Shunsui, Ukitake Jushiro, Abarai Renji, Urahara Kisuke
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: Part 2 | Part 3
𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐍𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
˚₊‧꒰ა Kurosaki Ichigo — Oblivious Simp
˚₊‧꒰ა No, I’m serious. You could be in love with this idiot for years and he would not notice. However, he still treats you like one of the guys. Equality is this boy's motto. He picks you up over his shoulder without realising that it’s supposed to be bridal style. It’s worse when you tell him you're heavy and he replies with, “Just a little bit, but it's nothing to me.”
˚₊‧꒰ა Would not notice the way you’ve dressed or worn his favourite colours for him, but if you ask him how you look. He’ll just respond with, “You look good.” before his sisters or father whacks him in his head for his boring compliment.
˚₊‧꒰ა If you cook though, consider yourself booked. He’s over every day for a home-cooked meal and will approve, and eat your food with gusto. Will stand up to anyone who says otherwise and will get into fights.
˚₊‧꒰ა He might see you as someone more than a friend, but still unsure of where his feelings stand. Book it down he’s protecting you while you sleep or go about your daily life from Hollows and other creatures. Doesn't like when Gotei 13 mentions you in any conversation and would fight them.
˚₊‧꒰ა In denial that you would like him back but hate whenever someone asks him to link them with you. Like no 🤚 you’re his even though you aren't his, but you are his. End of discussion.
˚₊‧꒰ა Gets weak when you stare up at him with soft eyes and still don’t understand why he feels giddy when he sees your eyes. Like everyone around him can tell and he's the last to figure it out. Uryu has grown tired of lecturing him about emotions, and so has Yoruichi.
˚₊‧꒰ა But you can bet that he enjoys your company despite the slight awkwardness. It makes butterflies flutter about in his stomach when you two are just sitting in silence. He has urges to hold your hand or touch you somewhere, but again, “Does Y/N like me?”
˚₊‧꒰ა Ukitake Jushiro — Sweetheart Simp
˚₊‧꒰ა “Ah, Y/N! What a lovely surprise it is to see you here!” He is an absolute sweetheart. Teatime on days scheduled just for you two and if he isn’t able to make it, expect a long letter apologising for why he couldn’t attend. He really is sorry.
˚₊‧꒰ა Spending days indoors having lunch, dinner and tea and chatting away about life around the Seireitei. He’ll let you in on what he wishes for his future and include you indirectly through mentions of your interests being incorporated.
˚₊‧꒰ა Kyoraku is your number one hype man who forces himself around you both to act as a wingman, but he’s just there for the sake. He makes jokes only for Jushiro to stare at him like, “No, Y/N isn’t into those things.”
˚₊‧꒰ა Jushiro is so gentle and soft with every action. He'll politely ask to hold your hand as you take strolls through his headquarters and sit under the plum blossoms playing the Shamisen. His students adore you and allow you entry every time you visit. Sometimes they set you two up just to witness their captain go red.
˚₊‧꒰ა Hates when you have to participate in fieldwork because he knows how dangerous it is. Of course, he believes that you are strong enough to stand your ground. He might even arrange for days when you two can train.
˚₊‧꒰ა Will get a nosebleed if he sees you in anything revealing like that time when he went to the beach. The reason he fainted wasn’t because of fatigue but seeing you in your revealing bath suit. Kyoraku never allows him to forget.
˚₊‧꒰ა Anytime Seireitei is under attack, he rushes to you first, trusting his Lieutenants to oversee organisations.
˚₊‧꒰ა Kyoraku Shunsui — Heartthrob Simp
˚₊‧꒰ა He’ll make it clear that he’s the most desirable bachelor and you cannot resist his charm. If you're not swooning from his smooth-talking, then he’s going to up the scale. Kyoraku will cup your cheeks and make eye contact while charming you.
˚₊‧꒰ა Doesn’t make up any reasons for his flirting and would declare that he likes you, wants to be with you and all his reasons for setting up tea and drinking was to get closer. He’s determined and Nanao has seen all the antics he comes up with in the mirror, she feels also sorry for you.
˚₊‧꒰ა Protective and has no issue is getting rid of the person…should they be threatening enough. He’s not the jealous type due to his laid–back and friendly nature but hopes that people respect their boundaries and remember that you’re his. That’s something he loves to whisper any time he attempts to charm/kiss you.
˚₊‧꒰ა He gets Nanao to throw rose petals on him any time he's making an appearance—dramatic if you weren’t aware yet. Loves to drape his floral kimono over you and sometimes leave it behind to watch as you wear it when you’re cold or first thing in the morning. He considers it his good luck charm when your scent is on it.
˚₊‧꒰ა Trusts Jushiro around you and also leaves his Zanpukato with you for protection. Poetic is his flirtatious style that makes you blush or roll your eyes, there’s no in–between.
˚₊‧꒰ა Kyoraku loves to just wear his Captain’s uniform and nothing underneath so you can get a good look at his chest and muscles. It is worse when he trains with you to show off his moves, so he pins you under or against him.
˚₊‧꒰ა Never give attention to other women now that you’re in his sight. Rejects and makes it clear, “My eyes are only for lovely Y/N, my flower.”
˚₊‧꒰ა Abarai Renji — Passionate Simp
˚₊‧꒰ა Be prepared to be treated with great levels of respect. You will never have to worry about him losing his temper or cool around you, except for him and Ichigo arguing about something silly before they start fighting. Nevertheless, he will go out of his way to ensure that you’re safe and secure.
˚₊‧꒰ა He does his best to complete all his paperwork and duties early, so he can steal away and spend time with you. Whether it going to drinks or something to eat, he does his best to make as much time as possible to be around you every second.
˚₊‧꒰ა Now, you will get treated like one of the guys, in the sense that he isn’t going to be all blushing and flustered around you. He’s cool and calm, and will talk to you like an everyday walk in the park—it will leave anyone wondering if he has a crush on you or not. At the same time, the way he speaks to you is slightly different compared to others.
˚₊‧꒰ა You’ll get praise coming your way very often; never one to shy away from how he’s feeling. Upfront about his admiration which comes off as bold declarations. “You’re amazing, and I’m not afraid to say it. Anyone would be lucky to have you.”
˚₊‧꒰ა Often playful and teasing, he welcomes you into the antics that he and the gang all involve themselves in. Whether it’s during training or a moment to lie back and relax, you’re not escaping his playful form of affection. “You call that a punch? How are you supposed to knock out the bad guys?”
˚₊‧꒰ა Say what you want about him having a losing streak in fights, he still has the balls to jump in and defend you. Doesn’t matter how many times he gets beaten; he always gets back up for you. And he does protect you well, stepped up a lot just for you since you’re an important soul to him.
˚₊‧꒰ა Look forward to him showing off anytime he improves or has something cool he wants to show you. You’re always the first person he comes running to because of your genuine appreciation. You’re always eager to hear and learn more from him which brings out his emotional vulnerability. The level of trust he has in you is outstanding.
˚₊‧꒰ა Urahara Kisuke — Eccentric Simp
˚₊‧꒰ა No day in your life will ever be normal from the moment he stepped into the picture. You will never catch a break, Kisuke will have you on your toes constantly guessing what next he’s going to come with. Thankfully, Tessai is there to calm his eccentric nature.
˚₊‧꒰ა Whatever you want, this man will be able to whip it up…never for free though. And no, you being his crush will not stop him from asking for something in return, it opens the door wider for him to ask. “Say Y/N, if I make this new sleeping device for you, do I get a kiss goodnight before you sleep?”
˚₊‧꒰ა He’ll still be a pervert around you, in his playful teasing manner. If you’re shopping and he’s around, he’ll suggest all the raunchy outfits for you to wear. And should you scold or smack him, he’ll mutter something about wearing it in private for him alone to see.
˚₊‧꒰ა With his whole causal and laidback demeanour regarding your safety. While you were asleep, he was busy setting up seals to ward off hollows from getting close. Probably gifted you that necklace you’ve always wanted and placed a seal to keep you safe.
˚₊‧꒰ა “You know you’re quite the distraction. How am I supposed to focus on my work with you around? I know, give me a kiss and I’ll get started!” Flirtatious man, he is, and he never stops once he starts. You’ll be flustered the entire time, and he lives for it. However, within his flirtation, he does let you know how much you mean to him, subtly.
˚₊‧꒰ა Has a natural quirk for performing little and grand acts of service for you, given his ability to craft. You’re running low on supplies? You would come home one day to a box on your bed with a note attached. The last thing you would wonder about was how he got into your room.
˚₊‧꒰ა Look out for receiving tons of gifts, most of them are his quirky inventions. “I made this gadget that can brew the perfect cup of tea. Now you don’t have to worry about rushing to make tea in the mornings!”
©satsugacafé 2024: no permission to repost, plagiarise, copy or translate my work onto any other platform or this one.
#˚₊‧꒰ა satsugacafé ໒꒱ ‧₊˚#kurosaki ichigo x reader#ichigo x reader#ukitake jushiro x reader#jushiro x reader#kyoraku shunsui x reader#shunsui x reader#abarai renji x reader#renji x reader#urahara kisuke x reader#kisuke x reader#kurosaki ichigo headcanons#kyoraku shunsui headcanons#ukitake jushiro headcanons#abarai renji headcanons#urahara kisuke headcanons#bleach x reader#bleach imagines#bleach headcanons#bleach x you#bleach x y/n#bleach
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The Cameragirl || snc
You've been Sam and Colby's cameragirl for some time now. Usually, nothing too crazy happened to you in most investigations, but this time...
warnings: paranormal activity, reader getting attacked, near death experience, strangling(?), cursing, angst?
a/n: took a bit of inspo after watching the boys' video of the asylum, but nothing exactly like it. just the fact that the place is an asylum
[part 1] [part 2] [part 3]
word count: 3.6k
[u n e d i t e d]
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
As they were making their iconic intro and explaining what this new place was about, you made sure to have a sturdy pulse whilst filming them.
"Today, it's just me, Sam and our lovely cameragirl, Y/n." Colby said, letting you shift the camera towards your face and smile at it.
"Hello there." You said, making sure your face was extremely close to the camera, merely because it has become your way of introducing yourself.
"And since it's only us today like the good old days, we decided to make something fun. ALL of us." Sam explained to the camera and smirked, looking directly at you.
You batted your eyes, looking at them while they kept on smiling menancingly at you. "This wasn't a part of the contract." You said, gaining a laugh from both of them.
You zoomed onto his face and began talking with this soft, almost narrative voice. A voice you very well knew they enjoyed. "What is this oh so fun idea you seem to be hyping about, mr. Golbach?"
"Why thank you for asking." Sam nodded slightly, moving his attention towards the camera. "The three of us are gonna do a little challenge tonight." He clapped his hands together as you began unzooming the camera, putting Colby back on frame.
"That's right, we're going to walk alone, lights out throughout some of the most haunted corridors from this place." Colby continued. "The owners of this place told us it gets freaky when people are alone, so we thought this might get us some good activity."
"We have some cameras with nightvision but we're not gonna see shit." Sam added, "After a while, we all should find our way back to the main lobby."
"So stay until the end to see how that's gonna turn out." Colby says, getting close to the camera before covering it with his hand, making you stop the recording for the cut.
"That was pretty good." You said, looking at the video slightly.
"You're still good with the challenge, right?" Sam asked, looking at you. You scoffed.
"Please. I wouldn't have come if I wasn't sure about it. Remember you told me about it before the video?"
"I know, I know. Just making sure, you know how I am." He laughs. "Wouldn't want you to do something you're not comfortable with."
"You're saying that like we haven't known eachother for how long?"
He chuckles. "You're right. I'm sorry."
"Alright, so since we're all settled, should we start right away?" Colby chimed in, looking at both of you.
"Not yet. This place has some good cinematic potential, lemme cook first." You said, looking around with your flashlight.
"Aight, we'll let you do your thing, I'll go ahead and look for the equipment." Colby said.
"Oh, shoot. I forgot to ask the owners about something." Sam said, taking out his phone.
"Go out with Colby, I'll be here waiting." You said, fixing back your camera to start recording.
"Alone?" They both asked, looking at eachother and then at you.
"I do my best work alone, gentlemen. You know that." You begin walking towards the shadiest corridor you've seen in your life, without even looking back.
"Oh wow. Fearless. She's trying to do the challenge before us." Colby laughed.
"Alright, I'll be super quick. If anything happens, just yell. As loud as you can." Sam said, smiling.
"Copy that." You laughed.
In the blink of an eye, you were left alone. You were used to these type of things, so it didn't bother you much. You've somehow become numb to all of this paranormal adventuring.
And that was one of the main reasons why you liked to take control of the camera, since you were able to keep your cool in stressful situations, making it easier for the viewers later on.
Plus, you didn't know how to act on camera and they were the professionals... allegedly.
Whenever something odd happened, you made sure to try and record as much as you could, in the best angles possible. You liked to joke around and call yourself a professional in your craft, although sometimes it wasn't even a joke.
You were passionate about it. The videos and the ghosts, it was only natural to try and do more, risk yourself to do something more interesting and outgoing.
That's a piece of yourself they loved about you. You were simply a perfect match in their combo.
As you began to do your cinematic, you began to have shivers. A sudden draft of air passing through you, as if a window suddenly opened.
Looking around, there was no possible way of that happening. You were in the middle of the corridor, absolutely no chance of an air draft simply passing through so randomly.
You thought it might've been a bit odd, but nothing you haven't felt before anyways. While you kept on making some videos, an eerie feeling of someone watching crossed over your spine.
The sensation of a presence slowly getting closer to you behind your back.
Almost feeling the heat of another person behind you, towering over you.
Hurriedly looking back, you were met with Sam's hand almost touching your shoulder. He stopped midway, knowing he got caught trying to scare you. "You bitch." You spit out, making him laugh.
"Damn it!" He said mid laugher. "I was so quiet this time, how do you always seem to know?"
"I can feel you lurking closer, you stalker." You looked away from his gaze, trying to ignore the thoughts of his pretty face. You began walking back to where he came from, meeting Colby in the process.
"I'm not a stalker, if anything, I'm protecting."
"Quietly from the shadows, sounds like a stalker to me, but you do you." You smiled softly, looking at the confused Colby.
"I left for a second, what did I miss?"
"Stalker behavior, nothing else." You said, putting your camera up again and ready to record.
Colby shook his head from side to side, already being on your side of the story without even asking further questions. "I can't believe you brother."
"Wha- it wasn't-..." Sam sighed, defeated. He knew you were joking, so he wasn't going to win anyways.
You laughed and pointed the camera at them. "Ready when you are." They nodded and you began to record.
"So as you can see, in our hands we have some devices that we'll scatter throughout this first room. If you've been here before, you'll probably be familiar, but if you haven't, these are basically some motion censor devices that will let us know if something walks infront of it." Colby explained, turning one of the devices on and showing to the camera how it worked.
As they organized everything, the REM-POD immediately began beeping. "Oh, shit. That's the rem pod." Sam said, stopping on its tracks. "That was the temperature dropping."
You made sure the camera caught that as you got closer to it. "Oh fuck. I was feeling a bit cold since we got here." Colby added. "Alright. I think we're ready."
"Okay. If there's any spirit around that would like to communicate with us, we would like for you to use any of these devices we've put up for you." Sam started, as you made sure to get far enough from everything for the shot.
"You can touch these lights on the floor, or maybe this device I have on my hand." Colby continued, pointing towards the EMF reader. "We mean no harm, we'd just like to talk to someone."
A couple of seconds passed, looking around, waiting for something to happen.
"Maybe they don't want..." Sam began, before getting interrupted by the REM-POD beeping, making you hurriedly move your camera angle. "Oop. Nevermind. Thank you very much. Can you do that again if you're here with us? To let us know it wasn't something else?"
Silence filled the room for a while, before the device started to beep once again.
Excited, they began asking questions to this entity, expecting for it to be somewhat intelligent enough to give answers back.
Luckily, it was. It seemed to be someone that died inside the asylum, a woman. Curious about the story of this woman, they kept on asking questions. Some of them being answered, others being completely ignored.
Asides from the constant beep from their device, you heard a knock coming from one of the corridors. Quickly looking around, they stopped talking. "What?" Colby asked.
"Heard something." You whispered. The room went silent, followed by what sounded like footsteps getting closer. You turn the camera back at them and their faces were shocked.
"Holy fuck." Sam whispered.
"That was like... thumps. We're the only ones here, right?" Colby asked him.
"Yeah, we're supposed to be." Sam says, walking towards the place they heard the sound, quietly. You followed close behind. "Hello?"
Nothing. They kept on looking around, searching and at the same time waiting for something else to happen. "There's no one here." Colby says. "But that was clear as day."
"Super clear, the camera must've have heard that, for sure." Sam said, looking at you as you nodded. "That was crazy."
"Yeah, let's try something else but closer to this area, maybe it's more active." Colby said, and all of you nodded.
A couple of minutes later, and you were all set up. This time around, they turned on a spirit box to try and communicate better.
The idea was to first use it as normal, then for Colby to do the Estes Method.
And so, the spirits began to talk.
"What's this." It spat out. Colby and Sam looked at eachother, smiling.
"Hello, this is a spirit box, you can use it to communicate with us. Would you mind telling us who you are?" Sam said, looking around.
"Hello?"
"Hi, hello." Colby responded. "Who are we talking to."
"I'm scared."
"Scared? Scared of what?" Colby asked, furrowing his eyebrows whilst looking at the camera.
"Behind you."
They quickly looked behind them. "Oh, fuck. I hate that." Colby said, as you smiled at their gestures.
It quickly faded away when you felt the familiar presence of someone behind you.
Heart racing, you looked around for a second, but there was nothing there. It didn't mean the feeling went away, though.
"Monster. Care..." It seemed the audio cut before finishing the whole word.
"Monster... care?" Sam asked, confused.
"Or maybe it meant careful? Like, careful of the monster?" Colby questioned.
"It would make sense. What monster are you talking about? Is it harming you? Are you scared of this monster... or... person?"
It took a while before responding. Last thing it said, before a screech filled the radio was... "Run."
Quickly, they turned it off. They looked at eachother. "That was terrifying." Colby said. Sam nodded and sighed.
"Let's try and look around for some other place. This doesn't feel safe." Sam said and everyone agreed.
For the past hour of recording, moving around and joking here and there, you felt a bit uncomfortable. Usually, you weren't the type to get scared over the paranormal, but this place felt more eerie than usual.
You heartbeat has been increasing slowly, as well as a slight pain in your chest that quickly faded. You felt watched.
There was a point where you even felt slightly touched, quickly warning the boys about it.
Due to this, they almost discarted the idea completely, thinking you might be getting targeted, scared that it might do something to you. It took you a couple of minutes of convincing them to keep on recording before the conversation was dismissed.
You tried to brush it all off, as 'something you've felt before', but deep down you were really anxious about it. Perhaps it made you feel better to think about it being just the nerves.
But you weren't the type of person to feel these nerves for no reason.
"Hey, you good?" Colby touched your shoulder and whispered to you, noticing you seemed a bit weird. "You seem out of it today."
"Yeah, I'm good. I was just zoning out."
"Yeah, I noticed." He chuckled, looking into your eyes. "You sure you're okay though?" He raised an eyebrow, seemingly concerned. "You don't look well."
"What? Do I look like a ghost to you?" You asked, smiling, which quickly made him show that gorgeous smile you loved.
"More like you've seen one." You shook your head.
"I'm fine. I've just seen some shadows running in the corners of my eye, but nothing too big to point out."
He batted his eyes. "You've what?"
"Calm down, you know I see those things all the time. It's nothing new." Half of it was true. The other half, well... there was a chance you might've seen a whole figure standing close to a doorframe, but you felt your imagination was tricking you too much tonight, so you didn't say anything.
You weren't a psychic or a medium or something close to it anyways. If anything, you'd probably consider it more like a hallucination due to the constant lack of sleep you've been having lately.
"I know, I know, but still. You could tell us about it, you know? Maybe we all see the same thing you do and since you don't point it out, we don't notice."
You rolled your eyes playfully. You were about to say something, but a breeze passed through your ear, a soft whisper saying "Come play."
You jumped, covering your ear and walking closer to Colby. "Shit." You whispered.
Confused, he held your shoulders. "What? What? You heard something?" His worry was enough for Sam to stop setting the cameras up and walk closer.
"What happened?" He asked. You looked around where you were standing.
"Did you guys not hear that?" You asked, the shook their heads. "I heard something like... right next to me." When you said that, Sam began recording once again.
"Alright, so... apparently Y/n just heard something right next to her." He began explaining to the camera, pointing it at you.
"It was like a whisper, it.. uh... it just said 'come play', like, the creepiest shit you can say. I even felt the air on my ear, that shit made me jump." You tried laughing about it to not let the mood down, but it wasn't working much.
"Although I really want to, maybe we shouldn't do the challenge." Colby said, looking at Sam straight in the eyes, genuinely worried.
"Guys. Come on. Don't back down when we're this close." You said. "We're basically done for tonight, this is the last thing we're doing and we're out, right?"
"...yeah." Sam whispered. "Let's..." He sighed. "Let's do it. Just like she said, we walk through the corridor and come back straight away."
Althought skeptical, Colby nodded. "Fine. Let's hurry up then. The quicker we begin, the quicker we're leaving this place."
And so, everyone held their cameras and said their goodbyes. The three of you went through your respective corridors and began walking, alone, with no light.
"Alright guys. I'm not good at, like, talking to the camera but I'll try." You sighed, pointing the camera at your face while slowly walking the dark corridor.
"Honestly? I'm usually not as creeped out when we come to places like this, but this one is like... up there. It's giving me the chills, making me paranoid, I feel like I'm... seeing thing. Or maybe I'm just sleep deprived. That's... that's also an option now that I think about it."
Looking around with the camera, although it's absolutely useless, you started feeling out of breath. Almost as if the air didn't reach your lungs anymore. "It feels... hard to breathe." You took a deep inhale and shakily exhaled.
You gulped, your throat suddenly feeling dry as the lack of oxygen was evident.
"I'm just gonna walk... faster. I wanna get this over with..." And so, you did. But the further away you got, the worse it all felt. You felt your vision starting to get blurry although you could barely see anything.
You paused as your vision began to get used to the darkness.
At the end of the corridor, what you could shape out like a human figure was standing there. Seemingly the same one you barely saw before.
This time, it didn't seem to go away.
You were also alone.
Unable to breathe.
You don't know when it started, but you were unable to breathe properly. You choked, trying to regain yourself from the feeling.
Your neck feeling tight, your stomach hurting at the sudden feeling.
Putting your hands on your neck, you coulnd't feel anything that would make you feel this way. You started to get worried.
You felt as if you were being choked. You tried to scream, but all that you could spat out from your lips was a soft, quiet, 'help'.
Trying to turn around and walk back, you saw the figure again and got scared, falling towards the floor. You coughed for air, sucking back as much as you could but being unable to.
Leaving the camera behind, you tried to crawl back to where you came from, but the lack of circulation on your body failed you as you coulnd't handle it anymore.
Your body falling on the floor, the camera seemingly recording your movements come to a halt.
Your eyes closing, leaving you unconscious.
It didn't take long before Sam and Colby got back to the lobby. Waiting for you, something seemed off.
They knew the corridor wasn't as long as theirs. You should've been the first one out by that logic. They've been waiting long enough and they were starting to get worried.
Even though the concept of the challenge was to be alone in the darkness, the idea of you being in trouble was too much to bare.
Heck, even if you were pranking them, the anxiety of you not coming back on time was driving them insane, they were ready for a scare if it had to come to that.
But the scare they were expecting wasn't the one they got.
Minutes of walking and calling out your name came to a stop when they saw you on the floor.
Hurriedly, they ran towards you and fell to the floor, yelling out your name. "This isn't funny, Y/n!" Sam yelled, moving your body, only to notice how cold you felt. His heart sank.
"Y/n, come on!" Colby said, putting himself on the other side, looking at Sam. The color from his face was gone when he felt her body. Colby, worried, touched your body and understood why he looked that way. "Oh, fuck. Fuck!"
Throwing the camera to the side, Colby quickly checked your pulse. "Sam. Call 911. This is serious." You still had a pulse, but you weren't breathing. First thing that came to his mind was CPR.
While Sam began to call, Colby was trying as hard as he could to help out. He began doing mouth to mouth, trying to bring some oxygen back to your lungs.
Tears streaming down both of their faces. Colby started making compressions to your chest, while Sam was talking to the 911 dispatcher and using the flashlight to illuminate Colby.
Luckily, they weren't too late. You began to cough and moved to the side to spit out some saliva. You breathed heavily and both of the guys sighed in relief.
As you tried to catch your breath, they softly held you up in place while your color came back to you. You blinked a couple of times, adjusting your view to your surroundings.
When you looked at them, they hugged you tight. "Fuck..." Sam whispered. "Let's get the fuck out of here right now." He held you softly and helped you out, as Colby grabbed all of the cameras.
It was hard for you to walk. It felt as if a ton of weight was keeping you from even standing up. It felt as if your limbs went numb, the lack of oxygen probably acting up.
Sam noticed, and didn't hesitate on holding you up and putting you on his back so that you could rest. They began walking as fast as they could, reassuring you that you will be fine.
You were focused on getting your breath back while listening to them scream at the spirits.
"You are not allowed to follow us home." Listening to Colby talk like this, while taking all of the equipment made you feel light. You started moving your arms and made sure to hold onto Sam, closing your eyes.
"You'll be okay. We're leaving." Sam reassured you, waiting for Colby to grab everything and get out of there in a rush.
After the police arrived and handed you an oxygen mask, you started feeling much better. You had some marks on your neck, like some hands were just squishing the air out of you.
Your body... at first, you could even see your veins pop out of your legs because of your lack of color. The poor circulation that ran through your body for a couple of minutes really drove your body to its limit somehow.
It took you a while to be able to stand on your two feet again, but before the police left you could walk on your own just fine. Sam and Colby however still managed to help you out.
"Let's head back home." Sam whispered to you. You nodded slightly and tried to walk on your own, only to be held up by Colby.
"Don't force yourself right now. You need some rest." He said, taking you back to the car. Your face having a rush of blood because of the gesture.
"I... I can walk."
"Let us do this. Please. It's too much already that you fainted right when we weren't with you." Sam said, looking at you, your heart racing at the look of his blue eyes upon you. You gulped.
"...f..fine." You said, resting your head on Colby's chest, making him smile.
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
part two is up!! the link is in the beginning! <3
thanks for reading all the way! likes, comments and requests are much appreciated.
-nikkõ
#colby brock#sam golbach#colby x reader#colby brock imagine#colby brock one shot#colby brock fanfic#colby brock x reader#colby brock x you#imagine#fanfic#fic#one shot#sam and colby#sam and colby one shot#sam and colby fanfic#sam golbach x reader#sam golbach x you#sam golbach one shot#sam golbach fanfic#sam golbach imagine#angst#sam and colby fluff#sam and colby imagine#paranormal activity
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Thoughts on Venus placements
!! everything is based purely on my experiences with signs, written with no other purpose than to share my observations and be unserious.
Aries Venus. View public humiliation as a flirting tactic. Will borderline call you stupid and ugly and genuinely expect people to get the hint that they’re actually very interested. Will prob ask themselves out on ur behalf. If u don't show interest immediately as they enter a room they’re done. Life is a cycle of falling in and falling out. Romance is 90 percent fucking.
Taurus venus. Like anyone who’s pretty but LOVE prob one person in a lifetime. Will have an aneurism if you try to rush them or speed up the prelude. Unbearable in their pickiness (esp with food and smells). Have deluded themselves into thinking there are people dying waiting for them to grace this earth with their love and attention. Limit freedom but act bothered when being imposed with the same limitations.
Gemini venus. What’s there to say that hasn't been already cried out loud by the casualties of their love. Wandering eye. Don't promise much and deliver even less. Fun tease flirts, will take you on Before Sunrise style date and rot ur brain with all the talk. Like to leave people wondering. Everyone wants to try this one out at least once. Word’s been going around that a non-cheating-gemini Venus has been spotted in the wild but we’re yet to confirm the evidence.
Cancer venus. Want to be treated like a baby but always end up babying other people. Want to please their loved ones at all times and if not met with instant appreciation become very irritated and sad. Never voice their needs properly. Expect the most distant emotionally constipated people they usually choose as their partners to be mind-readers. Cook-clean-snog love.
Leo venus. Promise u the moon and the stars but will be too lazy to actually get them. Love themselves first and won't let you forget that. If not received naturally - will drag those compliments out of you manually. At their best great at hyping people up. Love anyone who praises them. Also kinda get attached quite fast. Get jealous and offended easily (I feel like I say this about every Leo placement but what can u do).
Virgo venus. No one can please them and with time fewer people try. Get the ick over people simply breathing. Want the most sterile of love there is. If you’re not the best at your craft or do not aspire to be WHY the fuck not??? Legit think organizing ur desk is a good substitution for letting know they have warm feelings towards you.
Libra venus. Their partner is the star of the night month year life. Choose partners that can be bragged about and envied for. Very loving never shut up about their relationship no matter the setting always find a reason to bring them up. In a relationship make concessions until they blow up.
Scorpio venus. Insanity falsely taken for being in love. Blood contract on the first date. The ones that giggle at cannibalism=love metaphors. Might just lock you up but in a romantic wayyy... Romance is NOT a joke and ANY attempt making FUN of it WILL NOT slide. Looking around might count as cheating. Also if I may I suggest never leaving them on read..) Forever and always til death do us part.
Sagittarius venus. Often forget that they are in a relationship. Love the fun aspect of dating, but hate everything else. Need someone who constantly shakes things up and makes life interesting for them. In an ideal world, they travel around the globe and have a lot of se make meaningful connections for life. Very playful tho!
Capricorn venus. In relationships become very domestic but it takes a lot for them to actually end up in such. Love language is to cover basic necessities and feel worn out after that. Typically require to be TAUGHT on love and I know there are some people who find this an exciting quest god bless you on that journey. Prob the most rigid Venus in terms of compatibility with others imo.
Aquarius venus. So fucking random in terms of people they crush on like I can never guess who’s gonna tingle their interest braincell this time. Normally they go for the intellectuals but once they think they’ve got too predictable with it next choice is gonna be wild. Friends with people who have a crush on them and are oblivious to it. Freeze when you get mushy or clingy with them.
Pisces venus. Takes a village to pull them out of that one abusive dynamic they’ve been perpetually stuck in. Unironically think of themselves as smol beans. Dedicate their whole unprompted to the person they’ve had a crush on for like two days. Very very veryyyy lovey-dovey-sweet-corny, have no problem confessing their love. Likely to draw ur portrait if they like you.
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