#that useless lesbian will kill me
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"So now that I've finished this set of working rows, I can start the cable row..."
A Blanket Season commission, done by the ever amazing @britishmuffin, of a quiet, soft moment with Dancing Heron and Zero! Zero doesn't quite know what to make of her lady's hobby, but nonetheless, she appreciates both Heron explaining, and the time together it nets them.
#character art#amazing fanart#final fantasy xiv#zero#zero ffxiv#zero x wol#oc: dancing heron#zero x dancing heron#LOOK AT THEM#LOOK. AT. THEM.#LOOK AT MY USELESS LESBIANS#I LOVE THEM SO MUCH#muffin ONCE AGAIN absolutely killing it#look at how SOFF they are#god heron is the most beautiful character i've ever created and muffin somehow MADE HER EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL#and then muffin indulged me with heron's knitting hobby and even made it CABLE KNITTING#you cannot begin to imagine how much i squealed over this detail#LOOK.#AT.#THEM.#their expressions are just PERFECT#i want to pinch zero's cheeks#the colors are so superb i picked the outfits and all but muffin did such an amazing job ensuring my girl and my girl's girlfriend#complimented one another even with their radically different color palettes#i have been staring at this for six hours#i mean that literally it's all i did at work today#/showleft#/showright#THEM!
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yuuji manages to find the guts to hold megumi’s hand once and not more than 5 seconds later he gets the shovel talk from 90% of the people in megumi’s life. they truly mean their words that if yuuji ever makes megumi feel bad even by mistake, the higher ups r going to be the least of his problems. the same goes for sukuna.
the other 10% of people r frantically trying to book an immediate flight back to japan after his toes started tingling that something was up with His Boy.
just as yuuji thinks he managed the worst, he feels the hair on the back of his neck stand up and narrowly dodges assassination attempt courtesy of the zenin
The thing is that Megumi is actually such a low maintenance, chill boyfriend. Best boyfriend ever. He always replies to texts quickly. He’s on time to dates. He’s never jealous. They rarely fight, and when they do, it’s always because it’s legitimately important, and they always end up working it out. He lets Yuuji hold(!) his hand(!). The tips of his ears turn fire engine red whenever Yuuji does anything that shows off how Strong and Fast he is, which can be fun for Yuuji. It’s not a competition but also yes it is and Yuuji won it. He locked down The Best Boyfriend Ever. And it only took him 83 days of hardcore crushing, a 27 step plan, and nearly throwing himself off a cliff because he said “hooray” when Megumi told Yuuji he liked him.
He’s Done It. He Secured The Bag. Megumi Is His Boyfriend And The World Is A Perfect Place.
But everyone else seems to have some very strong opinions about that fact. Much stronger opinions than Megumi himself, who lets Yuuji hold(!) his hand(!).
There's a very confusing conversation with Inumaki and Panda about his intentions. Yuuji, very honestly, said that he didn't think he'd get far enough to have any real intentions past what he's already managed, which did not help. Maki had a similar conversation but it involved a sword. God's Perfect Man Who Already Gets Everything He Wants In Life And Certainly Doesn't Need to Butt Into This Too may be returning early from Africa. Yuuji would much rather that Africa keep him, please and thank you. There's a sniper that has him in his sights.
It's worth it.
#sea glass gardens#sort of#the continuing adventures of itadori yuuji being tormented by God's Perfect Man Okkotsu Yuuta#and trying to make Megumi His Boy instead of Yuutas#in all seriousness yuuta would be delighted if megumi got a boyfriend#and he would only LIGHTLY threaten him with a sword#jk#the itafushi that lives in my head is a sickeningly sweet cutesy first relationship#like they both just really are having that First Ever Boyfriend experience#they're both ridiculously into the other#megumi sees Yuuji do something stupidly athletic and is flustered for the rest of the afternoon#yuuji thinks megumi is the prettiest person he's ever met especially when he smiles and will do anything to get one out of him#nobara thinks they both should be taken out back and shot for making her watch this shit#kugisaki nobara world's most homophobic lesbian#lgbtq things are happening to people who do NOT deserve it#gay people are fine these specific gay people disgust her. god they're both useless like this#megumi: you're just jealous i got a boyfriend who could pick me up before you got a girlfriend you could pick you up#nobara pulling out her hammer: i'll kill you here and now#megumi: cry about it#nobara and megumi have this horrible recognition of self through the other because megumi's secretly ridiculously flustered by how Strong#and Fast Yuuji is and nobara is less secretly more openly finding maki insanely hot for how Strong and Fast she is#The Attracted to Pretty Person So Strong So Fast Alliance is facing unprecedented division when megumi starts dating yuuji first#meanwhile in the background everything is on fire and there's an assassin in the distance
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carmilla: you are mine, you shall be mine, you and i are one forever *dramatically sobbing*
laura: do i remind you of a cousin, perhaps??
laura you dumb fucking lesbian she’s in love with you jfc
#carmilla#vampires#carmilla book#vampire shitpost#useless lesbians#laura is such an oblivious mf#you’re killing me here#she’s in love with you#she’s not thinking of her cousin trust#pining#carmilla: i’m in love with you#laura: what could this mean???#laura: she likes me… as a friend?#FUCKING HELL
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the struggle of convincing a straight boy to date you when you vacillate wildly between looking like a scary punk dude and an equally scary but very pretty princess like buddy its fine i promise, its less that its gay and more a choose-your-own-adventure, itll be fun
#mochi rambles#mochi you useless lesbian#that aoa loki line of i AM gender fluid i IDENTIFY as a bitch is forever me#i literally have the male and female symbols as part of my finger tattoos#bud youre killing me flirting the way you are while also telling me ur straight#im DYING
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FUCK CANON ALL MY HOMIES HATE CANON
#holby city this is for you#i hate soap opera with a passion#you have no idea#and yet#did i just inflict myself several bloody long seasons of useless drama just to catch a glimpse of lesbians#you bet i did#anything for the sapphics#they have so little screentime together why do i do that to myself#and when they're *finally* happy all the bloody drama comes right back again - i can see the writing flinging itself from a cliff#why do soap always want to kill every character they have?! and then pull a 'ahah not dead' card when fans are upset#anyway#save me ao3#thank you for existing fanfiction#don't know what i'd do without you#holby city#berena
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Random reminder that if you wish rape on someone, no matter how bad they are or how bad you think they are, that makes you the bad guy and the world would be a better and safer place without you in it.
#I especially see this against ‘mean lesbian’ type of people. and as a lesbian who can come across as mean because autism and who is also#a survivor of rape (specifically homophobia-motivated rape) it just makes me want to kill for real#useless lesbian#my words
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Obviously MDZS is great the way it is but oh my god it would have ruled so hard if Wangxian had been lesbians, you know? Like, it just feels like they should have been women. They DESERVE to be women!!!!!!
#on the other hand if I had to sit through 1000000 jokes about Lan Wangji being a ‘useless lesbian’ for not confessing#her feelings to WWX sooner I would literally have to kill myself#so. there is that.#yea this post is partially inspired by Pio applying the lyric ‘you made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter’ to LWJ#but also I mean I’ve Been saying this#not a new idea for me
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I want to talk more about how my “im just here to make friends” Druid met a cute surgeon who turned out to be an incredibly powerful lich only for her to perform eye surgery that allows them to now perform soul magic and slowly become a lich themselves which snowballed into a love story that had the entire party screaming when they finally confessed their love to each other a year later in a timeless demiplane over the cloned bodies of their friends.
#What absolutely killed me was my best friend texting me mid confession “you better kiss her right now you useless lesbian”#no punctuation allowed here#I’ve been begging my dm to read the locked tomb series#dungeons and dragons#dnd#gnawing on the furniture
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my toxic trait is still being head over heels for people that have ghosted me
#certified protectcosette original#girl i met at karaoke and was hitting on for like a month ghosted me last summer. now i am seeing her semi-regularly again#just kill me now. i am the epitome of useless lesbian#adventures in lesbianism
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SO TRUUUUUEEEEEE
i’m gonna get shot for this
#like i love the boys of the game i think they're silly#but#what about nene??#what about an?!!????#WHAT ABOUT KOHANE?????#WHAT ABOUT OUR QUEEN EMU??????#HUH????#like i hate that just because they happen to be on teams with the 4 boy characters#doesnt mean you ignore them. they too silly to be ignored#also mean lesbian an??? shes a useless lesbian what-#jokes aside an is like the kindest character in the game where did you get mean from😭#for ena i kind kinda get it?? maybe?? but shes mostly lesbian with anger issues#it makes no sense for an😭😭#also im not a big fan of l/n (there stories dont interest that much sorry)#but i still love them so much tho. i cant hate any character/group in the game their all to silly (and like me fr)#mmj i love tho. their songs are so good and their covers are decent! i havent read any of their stories (besides main)#but i love them tho such goobers#i love the shimonome siblings so much (idk if i spelled it right) i love how their relationship is like a actual sibling pair#and the tenmas are so silly they are so cute ong-#but i cant see one without the other. like i see the tenma siblings as both tsukasa and saki#and the shimonome (how the HELL do you spell that) siblings as both ena and akito. never just mostly tsukasa and aktio#(for their respective sibling pair)#also how the hell do you see an and minori's VERY CLEARLY romantic feelings as platonic??#like an would kill for kohane if that means she goes on a date with her-#and minori is down BADD for haruka its so clear-#and people are like: nah they besties#like????? they are so smitten its not even funny😭#anyways sorry for my yapping
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Oh dear lord help me please because I just saw Dorcas Meadowes in the bus station next to me and she's hot. She's really hot.
#she was JUST LIKE DORCAS#even had some silver decorations in her braids that dorcas would totaly wear#and her legs omg kill me I'm a useless lesbian#never gayed so much
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every morning i wake up and i have to live with the fact that a girl sent me photos of her in lingerie and i said that colour looked gorgeous on her. i may be stupid.
#it did#but holy mother of god#what is wrong with me#that was my chance#killing myself#lesbian#useless lesbian#wlw#shut up chika
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my fucking dumb gay ass.... in the cinematic in tlou2 where Dina helps stitch up Ellie's arm after she's done & moves her face over the wound this whole time i thought its bc Dina was being Big Gay & giving the boo-boo a lil kiss but i JUST noticed while watching it again that she moves in to bite off the string of the suture after tying it off 😭
#thats what i get for being a useless idiot lesbian who overgeneralizes gay media LMAOOO#this is my third (3rd) full playthrough of the game & im JUST noticing this kill me 😭😭💀#i thought it was a sweet gay tender lil kiss for her loves wound this whole time dammit :(#i like my version better#tlou2#dinellie#the last of us part 2#the last of us 2#emma rambles
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I wished for you every 11:11... I squeezed my eyes shut and wished so hard til I was blue in the face.. and even though you're mine now I'll never stop wishing for you, for us
#late night post#11:11 make a wish#sapphic#sapphic thoughts#girlfriend#i just.. fuckin love her ya know?#love of my life#partner#useless sapphic#gay shit#11:11#lesbian#she makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and being long distance is fucking killing me#aaaaaaa i fucking love her >^<
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c2a50f7b20b98a1540e426ff23a7a632/30622ea64729db61-fb/s540x810/b7c21b7210a6b565699768d0ee983ea0c76dc35b.jpg)
this fucking pansexual isnt telling me yes or no. sobs on the grounsd i can deal wth rejection so well plesae
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/928a698010409f50a75920bbe3d5c211/7df158b051f1b504-a1/s540x810/6331590c75b45bc5f549dea64a8de89c7b216445.jpg)
fuck im either about to do something very good or somethng that i will regret for literally a million years
#modtalking#(sad dogday song)#sorry ive been paralyzed in fear for the past 40 minutes#its ok though im a gamer no matter what ill stay friends with them#im the yuri master. ill collect a romance eventually#(kill me now0#functional woman useless lesbian#:3#soo silly
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Top Six Arcane Characters ranked in reverse-order of how much silly fucking nonsense they have to put up with throughout the runtime of the show
6. Cassandra Kiramman (daughter became a cop [I'm so sorry girl], daughter randomly goes missing for several days and breaks into her own house shot in the leg with a fucking homeless lesbian, gets killed by Zaun literally four seconds after being convinced to grant them sovereignty, and if there is an afterlife she had to watch her daughter crash out spectacularly using her very own initiative to gas the poor. Embarrassing.)
5. Ekko (every single Topsider he meets is next-level stupid and he has to hold their hand like a baby even when they are a literal genius. Had to watch Cait say "The enforcers aren't oppressing you guys that's not true :( !!" with a straight face, had to watch Jayce say "Oh yeah we put the hexgate here so that if it blew up it would only release dangerous arcane-gamma rays upon YOUR people so nobody who actually matters would die" with a straight face, had to find out the founder of the city that oppressed him his entire life was literally just a stupid old man with a banjo, Jesus fucking Christ. He is low on this list because of the amount of silly nonsense he subjected other people to, especially in the AU. Also he threw a time-machine bomb at God which wasn't so much something that happened to him but felt worth mentioning)
4. Jayce Talis (literally on a constant mission to keep his very fragile partner from killing himself through sheer scientific negligence and is consistently thwarted by either Viktor's impulsivity, the narrative, or him-fucking-self. Had to go to the shadow realm while Heimer and Ekko partied in Utopia playing the banjo and dancing to silly little songs and the first person he has the absolute misfortune to see when he gets back is fucking Salo I would kill myself)
3. Mel Medarda (practically runs a counsel full of idiots twice her age at like 25, himbo situationship's twink almost dies every time they try to fuck, has to deal with her mother ravaging twinks with her eyes right in front of Mel's salad, got kidnapped by witches for literally no reason)
2. Silco (Girldad who somehow, despite being one of the least mentally hinged people in the undercity, has an even less hinged daughter who so regularly blows things up and kills people that he scolds her about it as though she'd just snuck out past curfew. Has to work with a gaggle of dumbasses to produce and distribute his sterocainoin I mean Shimmer who regularly plot to kill him but are legitimately too stupid and useless to pull it off, his factory got randomly busted up and a bunch of his employees killed by an angry twenty-something with pink hair and also The Guy From The Fucking Posters [imagine Niel DeGrasse Tyson and a twenty-two year old homeless lesbian blow up your job like tell me you wouldn't have a stroke] and had to deal with a TREMENDOUS amount of nonsense in the AU where Ekko out of nowhere reminds him of his Most Traumatic Memory Ever and also the founder of Piltover blows up and his teenage stepkid is the only one who saw it happen.)
1. Sevika (Literally cannot ever catch a break for one second. Just wanted to help Zaun be free from Piltover and gets absolutely bodied by one or the other of Felicia and Connol's cursed fucking daughters every other episode in season 1, loses a combined total of like four??? arms, is forced to clean up the typically VERY bloody messes of her boss's unhinged daughter because he's such a pookie-wookie that he refuses to discipline her in any way, becomes the unwilling parent of two (2) mentally ill orphans, is subjected to Jinx's constant jokes at the expense of her missing arm (which Jinx is responsible for, by the way) gets given a political position as some form of shitty reparation when she is NOT a politician she is the guy who backs up the revolutionaries like miss girl just wanted to gamble punch people and fuck whores can you let her live her life??? Is one of the few people to survive and probably hates every minute of it)
#to be clear I'm not saying these characters have “the most trauma”#no no I'm specifically ranking characters by how much “silly fucking nonsense” they are subjected to#also I personally think Shimmer should be called Sterocainoin (steroids + cocaine + heroin) because that's what it is lmao#arcane#sevika#sevika arcane#silco#silco arcane#mel medarda#jayce talis#ekko#ekko arcane#cassandra kiramman#jinx arcane#viktor arcane#meljay#jayvik
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