#mochi you useless lesbian

[eldritchmochi]

i have somehow managed to put together the *horniest* christmas gift i possibly could. the horny is truly exponential. there is no end to the horny because of who i am as a person

clearly, i bought my bf a pair of boots

(hes been wearing the same beat to shit pleather pair his sil got him from like, Nordstroms in college. theyre gross and peeling, and he walked in the other week and gleefully showed me how the sole is separating from the upper so one boot has gone full muppet because hes a shit)

the original plan was to grab a pair of docs during their usual 40-60% off quarterly sale, but i had a specific style i wanted. that style was not part of the sale alas. i figured if i was gonna buy a pair full price, I should give solovairs a shot because theres a marked quality difference (this is so fucking correct holy shit)

they had the style i wanted: a soft, matte, black leather with a slim, tapered toe box that could be incorporated into business casual wear to an office but wouldn't look out of place with just jeans and a hoodie either; their classic astronaut boot in greasy leather. the thought and intent in the choice alone is super horny given my whole Thing with clothing and leather but

we wear the same shoe size

and if there is one kink i love more than anything, its bootblacking

so clearly im going black them and break them in for him

i have leather friends who assure me this is the hottest thing ever

but

solovairs black friday promo, instead of % off, was free swag

which means i have a key tag version of the woven tag in my boys new boots, specifically chosen, bought, and lovingly blacked for him

and lads, i keep thinking of ways that keytag could be used, and they are *so so horny*

[problematic-yuri-poll]

Problematic Yuri Tournament Season 2 - Round 1

Yuri Natsu -Kagaya Inn- vs. JS-san to OL-chan

Yuri Natsu -Kagaya Inn- (manga by Mochi Au Lait)

Sexual Content: MODERATE; Gore: NONE; Violence: LOW

Submitted problematic elements:

lots of incest

Submitter did not provide content warnings.

Submitted propaganda:

Its Mochi au lait so you know its got good humor and crazy lesbians with dubious morality and fun kinks

JS-san to OL-chan (manga by Yurikago)

Sexual Content: NONE; Gore: NONE; Violence: NONE

Mod submission.

Mod-submitted problematic elements:

Large age gap.

Mod-submitted content warnings:

Large age gap and alcoholism.

Mod-submitted propaganda:

Just a cute lighthearted manga about an office lady who wants to be useless at home, and the little girl she loves who comforts and takes care of her.

[voiceofreader]

A piece where Shinsou gets a love confession from a super kind fem reader from class but he politely declines since he likes another beautiful girl. The reader is heartbroken but accepts it. Shinsou gets with the beautiful girl but he realizes quickly she is egotistical & only liked him for his popularity & looks. One day he overhears a conversation with the reader & her friend about why she liked Shinsou (she lists the good qualities he has) & Shinsou regrets rejecting her & forms a crush.

so this really didn’t fully follow your request 100%, but I had a lot of fun writing it and really got into it. So….. i hope you like it too. 

Hitoshi Shinsou x Reader (fluffy)

 A cold breeze brought down several flower petals, also sending a shiver through your entire body. For spring, it was pretty cold still.

You watched Shinsou in nervous anticipation. You didn’t know what his response would be. You were just two classmates and you just confessed your crush on him. You two barely spoke to one another and yet you put a note on his desk requesting him to meet you after school.

You liked him a lot. You could barely talk to him. You always got so flustered when your eyes met his, when he’d catch you looking at him.

You couldn’t tell what he would say.

He stared at you after you got done stuttering out your confession.

He looked off to the side, uneasily, and placed a hand on the back of his neck. “Look, y/n, you’re a nice girl, and you’re pretty and all, but I can’t accept your feelings. I like someone else.”

You brought your head down, looking down as your eyes slowly filled with tears. “Oh.” You mumbled out in response. “I mean, I’m flattered you feel that way, but you know. You can’t really control who you like and I have a thing for someone else and you know, I’m not gonna lead you on or whatever.” Shinsou continued on. You nodded.

“I know we’re not really friends or anything, but I hope this doesn’t change anything between us. I won’t act different around you, or anything.”

You didn’t reply. Like, you had told yourself before you put your plan in action, you couldn’t get your hopes up because you had no idea if Shinsou would even remember your name.

You two weren’t friends. The only real interaction you two had was from the Sports Festival.

And the random times in class where you two had to interact. You were too shy around him to ever do anything. You couldn’t say hi to him in the mornings, or ask how he was. And it wasn’t like you were a reserved, quiet girl. You weren’t as outgoing as some people, but you weren’t afraid to talk to people you didn’t know.

It was just every time Shinsou was around, your mind went blank.

The only way you knew what he liked was from your friend, Jitsuko, who had a quirk that was like a fortune telling talent. She could tell you what things you enjoy, your personality, parts of your future. But very vague details.

Plus, being in class together for two years, it was hard not to eventually learn something about Shinsou. Like his devotion to become a hero.

You weren’t going to be a hero. Your quirk was useless compared to his. You could change your hair at will. The color, texture, thickness, length, you could do what you wanted with it. But you couldn’t like make it move or anything, so you couldn’t use it to be a hero. More than anything, you wanted to be a school teacher. It was lame against Shinsou’s dream to be a pro hero.

Shinsou started to turn away, to leave. “Wait!” You sprang up. He looked back at you, surprised by your sudden change of attitude.

“Can…Can I ask you who you like? Or just like, they’re in class with us?” You had to look down again, this time out of embarrassment.

“I trust that you won’t tell anyone? Just like I won’t tell anyone you just confessed to me?” He proposed in a more serious tone. You nodded in agreement. “It’s Reika Ito.” He confessed.

Reika Ito, the transfer student this year. She was absolutely beautiful with her blonde, long, wavy hair, and blue crystal eyes. She was like a model. She was tall, skinny and fit. She was the Momo Yaoyorozu of the General Studies course. She was absolutely beautiful and rich. Though, she wasn’t as smart or refined as Momo. Nor did she even have a great hero quirk.

She had a light quirk. She can emit any color light from her fingertips, like a flashlight. Though, it wasn’t her quirk that made her so desirable. It was mostly her beauty and her charismatic personality. There wasn’t a person who was attracted to females that didn’t eventually develop a crush on her.

You must’ve been making a face, because Shinsou then asked, “what? Got a problem with that?”

You shook your head and looked up at him innocently. “No. No, it was just that… Everyone likes her and I kind of thought you would’ve been different.”

“Different how? Oh, like different as in I’d like someone like you instead? Look, we don’t have anything in common, and we don’t talk at all. It’s not a surprise that I don’t like you. I’m going now.” And like that, he walked off, leaving you with a broken heart.

Though, you couldn’t let it get you that down. He was partially right. But he was wrong about one thing: You two had a few things in common, he just didn’t know anything about you.

Like, you both like cats, and riding bikes. You both like the same types of movies and books. You could’ve sworn that if you had the opportunity, you’d show him that you two could’ve been great friends and even maybe more.

But you liked him so much that you could barely talk with him.

You sighed and turned on your heel, walking in the opposite direction that Shinsou did.

The sound of your steps on the sidewalk towards the dorms was muted by the petals on the ground. You were sure Shinsou was probably staying back to go practice for the upcoming sports festival.

Lately, Shinshou was staying at the school to train until curfew, where he’d come back to the dorms, finally.

When you got to your floor, you were greeted by your best friend, Jitsuko, who lived in the room next to yours. She must’ve guessed it was you, who was coming up on the elevator.

“Y/n! How’d it go? When’s the wedding? Am I invited?” She bombarded you with questions. You gave her a sad smile. “Not anytime soon. He turned me down.”

“Ah, really? Is it because he’s gay?” Jitsuko followed you, as you entered your room, and tossed your bag on the floor, next to the closet doors. You plopped onto the bed. “No. I wish though. He likes Reika.” You sighed in your answer.

“Not another hopeless victim!” Jitsuko jumped on your bed, sitting cross legged. “Yep. He likes her. Didn’t give me a reason. Though, I don’t think I’d be able to handle hearing why he likes her. I barely made it without crying as is. But, I suppose it wouldn’t be hard to guess why he likes her. He’s just like every other guy, I guess. She’s absolutely beautiful! Her and her stupid pretty face, and irresistible charm, and her stupid hair!” You replied, grumbling.

“You could match her hair, you know?” Jitsu reminded. “Yeah.” You nodded, sitting up, matching her hair. The blonde, with darker blonde, natural highlights. The length going to your lower back, although it would be longer if it wasn’t so voluminous and wavy.

You glanced at yourself in the mirror across the room in the corner. You took in your appearance, combed your fingers through the soft hair. A tear escaped, falling down your face. “No, it’s not right though. I can’t make him like me by being like her.” You shook your head, your hair reverting to its appearance before. It wasn’t exactly the same hair you were born with, but you like this style on you. You liked the color, the texture, and you thought it brought out your eyes.

Looking at yourself, the way you were usually, you picked at your appearance, comparing it to Reika’s. Your eyes weren’t as bright, you weren’t as tall as her, your chest wasn’t as big, or perky as hers.

“He did call me pretty though.” You mumbled, shrugging. It was something at least.

“Well, when he finally realizes how fake she is, I’m sure he’ll be on his knees, begging for your hand in marriage.” Jitsu nudged you. You smiled at her ridiculous words of encouragement. “Now, come on. I can see some mochi ice cream in your near future!” She hopped off your bed, grabbing one of your arms, trying to pull you up with her. You were lucky to have her.

~ Some sort of transition of time?

“Oh man, that Todoroki and Midoriya! They have to be gay! Did you see them this morning? Todoroki is lusting for that broccoli ass!”

You rolled your eyes at Jitsuko, who even two days after the sports festival was still fangirling over the two pro hero students. “Since you’re a lesbian, I’m surprised you could be so obsessed over two guys.”  

“Just because I don’t like dick, doesn’t mean they can’t, and doesn’t mean I can’t encourage it! But just like last year, their fight, and Midoriya encouraged Todoroki to use his fire? God! They need to make out so bad!” Jitsu turned around to face you, and walked backwards. Her face was lit up with fangirl excitement. “Didn’t you think Bakugou and Midoriya were gay for each other?”

“What the hell did you just say, you damn extra?!” A rough voice shouted. You looked behind you, seeing no one other than the infamous Katsuki Bakugou glaring at you with fire in his eyes.

You stopped walking and was speechless. How coincidental was this? You just so happened to be talking about him, the one time you’ve ever seen him walk this way? And right when he’s in earshot?

Katsuki Bakugou, the top student of the 2-A class. The winner of your year’s festival, twice in a row.

You clutched your school bag to your chest, in self defense.  “We were just joking around. So, mister first place, make your way along.” Jitsu said, waving off the fiery blond psycho.

“Jokes are supposed to be funny! That was fucking stupid. Watch your back from now on, big eyes! Next time you piss me off, you’re fucking dead, got it?!” Bakugou sneered in your direction. “Y-yes sir.” You nodded furiously.

He scoffed and then continued walking on. As he turned a corner, you relaxed and let out a long breath. “I saw my life flash before my eyes!” You cried, though with an amused look on your face. It was in fact kind of funny that he heard you.

Jitsu burst out in wild laughter, clutching her stomach. You had to join in on her infectious laughing. “I can’t-… Believe… That just… Happened!” Jitsu said in between breaths, as she calmed down, wiping away her tears of joy.

You were also out of breath. “Yeah, you were the one who thought he was gay. But I’m the one he’s gonna kill. It’s hilarious.”

“Hey, maybe you should go for him instead of purple hair.” Jitsu teased as she led the way down the hall once more. “Are you deaf or something? I don’t believe he was just flirting with me or being nice back there. Why would I date a felon in the making?”

“I don’t know, I think he kind of just complimented you back there.  You do have very big and beautiful eyes.” She shrugged. “He just said big, not beautiful. Besides, from what it seems like, he calls people by features he notices first because he can’t be bothered to remember names. Not like he even knows my name. I didn’t even make it through the first round this year.” You lightly argued.

“Okay, but if that’s true, then he noticed your eyes first. I think that’s something. Date the explosion boy!” Jitsu joked. “I’ll date him if the next time we ever speak, he doesn’t threaten my life,” you bargained, walking into the classroom. With a smile on your face still, you casually looked around the room, like you always did. Seeing how many of your classmates were there, and what was going on.

Your eyes stopped on two things in particular, and your smile dropped. In fact, it felt like your heart did too.

Shinsou and Reika hanging by Shinsou’s desk.

He had his arm around her shoulders. He had a smile on his face, and she was laughing about something.

Jitsuko noticed your sad look and followed where your eyes were. She forced you to your desk in the back, and plopped you down on your seat. She made her way over to a group of giggling girls. “All right girls, what’s the scoop? What’s with Shinsou and Reika?” she asked.

Mei, the head of the gossip in the class, scoffed at Jitsuko. “You mean you don’t know? Like everyone knows.”

“I’m sorry I don’t follow stupid locker room talk. So what’s going on with them?” Jitsu grumbled. “Well, there’s no confirmation, but Watanabe caught them sucking faces this weekend in Shinsou’s room. So rumor is that they’re totally a thing now after Reika saw how far Shinsou got in the festival.” Mei dished.

Hearing this, you crossed your arms on your desk, and threw your head into them. Jitsu came over and patted your back. “Knowing Reika, it might not last that long. He’ll be heartbroken and you’ll swoop in a mend his heart. I give it not even a week.” She suggested, lightheartedly.

But it didn’t end after a week, not even after a month, or the month after that.

It was a saturday night/sunday morning, after midnight.  Jitsu who came back to the couch, after putting her dirty spoon back into the kitchen. You two were watching t.v. late at night in the common room, eating jelly. You two were the last ones up.

It was a rerun of an old rom-com drama. Boys Over Flowers, to be exact. A scene where Domyouji just had a fight with Makino for like the fifteen thousandth time. It was about his fianceé.

“See, you and Shinsou are like Tsukasa and Tsukushi.” Jitsuko said, coming back over to cuddle into you for warmth. She then yawned.

“We barely talk, nonetheless argue, or even have requited love for each other. I’m more like Shigeru. The girl who likes Tsukasa, regardless of the engagement, but he wants nothing to do with her.” You slumped down.

“Okay, but how about Reika is like Umi. You know, Tsukasa loses his memory and feelings for Makino and Umi swoops in, messing with his memories and making him think he really likes her and Makino is his enemy? It isn’t until the recreation of the elevator scene, except in the cabin and Tsukasa gets his memory back and remembers his feelings for Makino?” Jitsu jumped up.

“Not even close. Find me a character duo that’s like me and Shinsou. You know, the girl is too shy to talk to him, but is madly in love with him? And they never talk ever and then he starts dating the popular pretty girl even though she will never like him like the shy girl does because she can see him as person instead of just some cute boy with potential to be a big hero. Like does she know that his favorite manga at the moment is One Punch? Does she even like anime or manga? I bet not! But I do! And that was before I knew he did! Years before I even knew him. I like One Punch too, you know. I mean, I bet she’s only with him because of his quirk! And you know what? I don’t care about his quirk! I mean, it is really awesome and no doubt he’s going to be a big hero someday, but I also like him because of his passion, and his determination. He’s so smart and dedicated! He also likes cats! I like cats! I have 2 cats and I bet he’d love them! Also he’s really funny when he wants to be. I don’t think she’s ever laughed at one of his jokes. But I bet he doesn’t care that she doesn’t like him for the good qualities he has. He’s probably upstairs right now, dry humping her leg because he’s just a normal stupid boy who falls for the pretty girl!” You crossed your arms and pouted.

Maybe the sake jelly you had was getting to you. Maybe you shouldn’t have let Jitsu’s older brother buy it for you two.

“You’re wrong about that last part.” The deep voice from behind you made you jump. “Sh-Shinsou!” You squeaked in embarrassment, turning to see it was him, standing behind the couch, looking down at you. Did he hear you? How much did he hear? Though, it really didn’t matter because even if he heard just the tail end, it was still bad.

“You know, you’re not the only two people in this dorm who are awake. So don’t talk so loud like you are.” Shinsou grumbled at you, harshly. You lowered your head. Great, now he hated you.

“You know what? I think I’m going to bed. Night!” Jitsuko hopped up to her feet and ran up the stairs.

It was silent and awkward. Except for the low murmur of voices on the t.v.

“I’m sorry you heard that. I mean, I suppose I have no room to talk about you like that, so I’m sorry about that too.” You mumbled. He groaned, and came around the couch, and sat down next to you.

“You weren’t too off about some of that stuff. She really only saw me for the power I have. Right after I lost against Todoroki in the final round, she met me in the back and kissed me right there. It was weird, but you know. I was stupid and went with it. And these three months, I thought we were doing good. We got in this huge fight about a week ago about how she’s just trying to use me for my potential to be a hero. She was introducing me to her father who owns like three agencies. After two months of trying to get his approval of me, she kinda became distant to me. So I brought it up and we got in this huge argument. We haven’t really spoke in over a week, so I just went to you know, talk things out. I didn’t know if we’d work things out, or we would break up. Cause, like I thought I loved her and all, but this last week of not talking, and seeing her not bothered by it, talking to other guys and laughing at their jokes, it made me think. But I was willing to work through it. But.. I just went up to her room, well, a few hours ago and I found her making out with Murakami. So, I suppose things are over. So yeah. You were wrong about that last part.” He snapped at you at the last sentence.

You stared up at him with an unreadable expression, because you didn’t really know how to feel. You couldn’t feel happy because they were over, or that Shinsou was right there with you in the middle of the night. Because he was unhappy. And what you said probably rubbed salt into the wound.

“Look, I’m sorry. Like I said, it wasn’t my place to say anything like that. I didn’t really mean it. And I’m sorry about you and Reika, really.” You muttered out quietly. “So you didn’t mean the part where you like my dedication, or humor? Or that you like cats too and that you have two of them that I would love?” Shinsou darkly teased.

You let out a shaky laugh. “I suppose I did mean those things.”

Shinsou stole your jelly that you left on the table. Taking your spoon and everything. “So you really like me, huh? Still after all that time?”

“Yeah. I guess.” You shrugged. “You guess?” He wondered.

It wasn’t that you were losing feelings for him, nor were you catching feelings for someone else. It was just… since that weird encounter with Bakugou, he seemed to bump into you a lot and his threats were getting less severe. So you were really thinking about trying to get over Shinsou.

“I mean… I don’t know. Isn’t it weird hearing someone tell you their crush on you? I mean, you don’t even know me.” You puffed out your cheeks. “It’s kinda nice hearing someone talk about me in a nice way. So if you want to continue inflating my ego, I wouldn’t mind. I could kind of use someone gushing about me in a pathetic way right now.” He shrugged, smiling weakly, looking at the television.

You looked up him through your eyelashes, refusing to make eye contact with him. “Is it really that pathetic?” You asked in a small voice. Did he really look down on you?

“I suppose not. But no one normal talks about the person they have a thing for like that.”

“It’s not my fault! I had a sake jelly!” You raised your voice, although more in playful defense. “Yeah? Then you really can’t handle your alcohol.” He scoffed.

You didn’t know what to say, so you decided to turn your attention to the t.v., trying to really focus on the dialogue between Makino and Rui. But Shinsou’s presence kept gnawing at you.

“So… Tell me about yourself. Besides anime and cats. What else do you like?” Shinsou asked making you wince in surprise by his sudden question, only because you thought the conversation was done for.

“I like reading manga too. I like going to the park close to the train station and feeding the ducks. I like yakisoba noodles. Especially those noodles at Kameya Shinjuku Tentama Soba. (we’re gonna pretend this isn’t a noodle shop in Tokyo. I just couldn’t come up with a name on my own) “And then, I also like fruit tea.” You answered, thinking of the most random things you could on the spot.

“That’s a lot of things. But I’d like to go to that soba shop. You should take me some time.” Shinsou placed down the empty plastic container on the table, and went to grab another jelly. You really had a lot of them out. And you were planning to eat them all yourself. But you couldn’t be mad if it was Shinsou who you were sharing with.

“So, what do you like, Shinsou?” You confidently asked in return. “I like bike riding. Especially on nice windy days. I like lizards. I used to have two before I moved into the dorms. I like to go home and visit them during breaks. And I suppose I also like this jelly.” He looked down at the jelly in his hand, as he took another spoonful into his mouth.

Your heart was pounding hard in excitement. This was groundbreaking progress.

“So, catch me up on what’s going on in this show? Who is this Makino with? Is it the weird emo guy with the violin or the curly hair guy with some sort of trauma?” Shinsou commented with a confused expression.

You laughed at his ridiculous observation of the show. Shinsou took his eyes off the t.v. to look at you, with a small curling to his mouth. It was like a sad, lonely smile.

You could tell he was really hurt still by Reika. And you had no certainty that this was some blooming friendship. But you were going to try your best for him.

“All right, first we have to start from the very beginning. So Makino is a normal girl from a poor family and she by chance gets into this really rich school.” You started off, scooting closer to Shinsou. “Oh, okay, so it’s one of those shows. Poor girl goes to new school and she starts on the wrong foot of some rich guy, right?” Shinsou guessed. “Yeah, how’d you know?”

“I’ve seen a lot of these.”

You were starting to feel tired, but your chest was beating fast enough to keep you up for however long it took until Shinsou would go to bed.

(fun fact: You two stayed up all night into the daylight and other students were up.)

[alkhale]

On one hand I really love and ship Todoroki, Bakugo and Midoriya with Fuyu, but on the other hand useless lesbian Fuyu is the dream.

Fuyu sneezed, a flower petal tickling her nose.

She glanced up with narrowed eyes. The tree above her had finally started to give way under the gentle spring breeze and flower petals were raining down onto her head as a result. Fuyu eyed the other benches in sight and sighed, seeing they were all taken and resulting to just find some solace in the massive library U.A boasted.

Fuyu stood, grabbing her things with a grunt as she shook herself like a dog, hopefully dislodging any stray tagalongs. Yami said he wanted to go over that math exam too…

Something soft brushed against her shoulder, just below her cheek and Fuyu’s head snapped around in surprise. Startled ebony irises met her gaze and Yaoyorozu smiled apologetically, a pink petal between her fingertips. “Forgive me, Kouki-chan, you had one stuck on you.”

“I-It’s fine,” Fuyu patted her chest in surprise, shuffling her books to one arm. “Thanks. Where you headed off too?”

“The library!” Yaoyorozu said brightly, holding onto her own stack of heavy looking encyclopedias. “Are you headed there as well?”

“Ah, well,” Fuyu rubbed the back of her neck. “Yeah. Want to join me? I might not be much company–”

Fuyu’s words died on her lips. Soft, elegant fingers brushed against the underside of her chin and Yaoyorozu smiled. Her eyes were warm, curved in an almond shape as she pulled her hand away and revealed a handful of petals. “It seems they’re rather fond of you.”

“Always get caught in my hair,” Fuyu said with a sigh, trying to shake of the jitters that had crept up her spine. “Maybe it’s a Quirk thing like Roki’s bedhead…”

A soft, gentle laugh filled the air. Fuyu blinked, stunned into silence as Yaoyorozu’s ebony locks bounced and she smiled, bright and sunny as she held onto her books and petals fell tucked amidst her hair too.

“They look lovely on you, Kouki-chan.”

“I’m telling ya, it’s all about the voice!” Kaminari pressed, waving his hands around as Sero grinned and Fuyu made a face. “That sweet, beautiful voice, tell me that doesn’t get you going.”

“I thought you’d be more about the looks than the voice,” Sero teased, he nudged Fuyu at his side. “Who does it for you? Todoroki’s got that nice, deep tone doesn’t he?”

“But Bakugou’s got the husky, rough kind vibe though,” Kaminari added. He waggled his brows. “Or maybe you like the sound of mine–”

“Jirou.”

Sero and Kaminari blinked. Fuyu looked thoughtful, seriously contemplating their question before she nodded in agreement with herself. “If it’s the voice, Jirou’s is the nicest then, isn’t it?”

There was a clatter of things behind them and the three turned. Jirou froze, caught like a deer in the headlights with her cheeks flushed a soft pink and her earjacks waved hurriedly in the air, pressing themselves over her hands that pressed over her cheeks.

“I need to lose some weight,” Ochako declared.

Fuyu didn’t look up from her current project–evenly spreading the pickled radishes onto her bento to make eating everything else easier. “You’re dumb.”

“I’m being serious here!” Ochako protested. “All I eat is mochi and ricecrackers because they’re cheap, but I can’t keep living like this! Yaomomo has it good with her Quirk… Maybe if I practice more, getting nauseous will help me become weightless on the scale…”

“Ocha,” Fuyu reached into her own backpack and tugged out a small bag of daifukus. Ochako zeroed in on the familiar treat and Fuyu smiled at her. “You’re plenty beautiful, y’know? Just ask Midoriya or–”

“Fuyu-chan, you’re the best!” Ochako sobbed, lunging for the girl and throwing her arms around her. Fuyu struggled the balance the food and keep them from spilling over and Ochako burrowed her head into the side of her neck. “You’re the one who really loves me! Promise me our agencies will be right next to each other in the future–no, work for me, okay? I call dibs!”

“Ocha–”

“Promise me!”

“Ocha, we’re floating.”

“Oops.”

- this is also valid

[eldritchmochi]

can we appreciate that my straight boyfriend got me

fat cupid with top scars

[artist link]

[eldritchmochi]

with precisely zero context, reason, or warning, i asked my boyfriend what deodorant flavor he uses, and i immediately got a very detailed answer, no hesitation, no question, just trust and understanding

i have rarely felt more perceived or loved, and its over *deodorant*, i couldn't be more jazzdd

[eldritchmochi]

the struggle of convincing a straight boy to date you when you vacillate wildly between looking like a scary punk dude and an equally scary but very pretty princess like buddy its fine i promise, its less that its gay and more a choose-your-own-adventure, itll be fun

[eldritchmochi]

forgot my cane in my buddy's car when he dropped me off last night which a) damnit but also b) ..... whoops new kink

the inherent eroticism of someone else handling my cane, this extension of my body that is both so visible and yet so intimate. sure, its pretty common for strangers to "help" me by picking my cane up when i drop it, but that is very much a thing done out of pity, not something kind or fond or understanding of the importance of my cane

and im really glad i had that realization to a *picture* because i think i woulda absolutely horny blue screened if i had opened the door cold to seeing this dude, who is aggressively my type and also unbelievably kind, standing there leaning on *my* cane like he had every right to

[eldritchmochi]

straight boy ive been courting, three weeks ago when directly confronted with how he acts like were dating: its complicated. i do have some level of romantic interest and i think maybe eventually i could wrap my head around [insert conspiracy board for both mochi's gender anarchy and relationship anarchy] but it's complicated

straight boy yesterday: starts a second save file for a game that came out less than 24 hours before specifically for me to watch him play it all the way thru then proceeds to read the dialogue boxes out loud for me in silly voices while intentionally sitting close enough to me on my couch that our thighs touched the whole night and also periodically and obviously distracted by my bare legs, and also then feeding my cat "because im already up" including refilling her water, with a response to my request for a goodbye hug that was basically "duh" followed by a smidge of distracted-from-leaving lingering by the door meaning i had to shoo him home

[eldritchmochi]

talking about the cishet man i, a visibly gnc trans person, am courting and how he explicitly reciprocates my interest, to queers at large at a pride event the other day has given me a new appreciation of how god damned annoying the general habit people have of insisting someone's identity is actually [insert something other than what they explicitly id as here] because whatever reason like

im absolutely also guilty of this. i am guilty of this with this particular person even! i try not to because if i am allowed to use whatever hodgepodge of labels i want for myself, everyone else can too, what does it matter? and i certainly feel that my boy is not "just" your run of the mill straight dude, as he keeps insisting, i get big demi vibes from him, but i dont know if i doubt his interests lying pretty exclusively towards femmes, a category i most certainly belong in

i just. dont get why its so weird that a straight dude has interest in me. plenty of straight dudes are attracted to plenty of trans and gnc people of all presentations, why is my boy suddenly definitely queer because hes not an asshole about it? why is he definitely queer because he tells his straight dude friends their queerphobic jokes arent funny? dont we want straight dudes who do that?

why can we not accept that sometimes there are cishet men who truly are good and respectful of queerness without actually being closet cases? why can we not encourage and reward straight dudes who are truly queer allies with the same respect of identity they afford us? whats so hard about accepting a straight dude who is comfortable having incidental interest in someone outside of standard gender norms as still straight?

i stg i am gonna start spraying people like naughty cats when they argue that my boy is totally not straight. hes my straight boyfriend, not urs, u don't get a vote on his straightness

[eldritchmochi]

the other day i showed my boyfriend an old selfie, and he asked if i was wearing contacts because i was not wearing my glasses, but he knows contacts wig me out so he didnt expect i would have ever used em

lads ive only been wearing glasses for like, three years

[eldritchmochi]

absolutely feral over the fact that this straight boy im pursuing five years my junior is not only emotionally mature enough to recognize his interest in me AND name the exact specific complications that leave him hesitant and unsure what he wants to do about it but also undertake the emotional labor of working thru said complications to figure shit out on his own without any prompting from me beyond me being his friend and no pressure gomez addams goofy flirting at him

[eldritchmochi]

🚨 IMPORTANT UPDATE 🚨 crush has *freckles* and i spent all day tuesday in a crisis because man did i want to kiss them and then yesterday *i got to*

he almost walked out of my flat (on cloud nine) with a hot pink lipstick mark in his face lmao

[eldritchmochi]

ultimate green flag: he's allergic to your cat but has decided that, when u move in together, he will suffer the cat fur in all of his stuff because he loves ur cat

[eldritchmochi]

this boy continues to murder me at every single opportunity i stg i am going to SCREM if i cannot start kissing him whenever i so please cos like

i text "if youre not otherwise called for tonight, u down to stream for me?" which is very direct and does not make excuses for why i want his company, just that i do, but is still very much a passive request "if its not a bother"

i get back in pretty short order "not called for, just gotta throw together dinner when i get home from work and then ill be on" like this is our completely normal routine, like *of course* he'll stream for me, how is that a question?

i have been working *so hard* to mind my manners and this asshole over here acts like weve been together for years without a single thought

[eldritchmochi]

went to compliment my boyfriend earlier and my gay ass bluescreened so hard when presented with the choice between "pretty" and "handsome" that what came out was "horrible"