#that took up time and then i realized i should write other people’s povs as well

[moonsblack]

when are you updating clandestine meetings?

😔😁🤬😍🤭🥲😜😒😳😱😣😚

i have no clue

[helloledena]

Uh-oh... I'm falling in love~

Synopsis: Kakashi though he had everything under control, especially his feelings. But one ninja from Village hidden in mist was enough to change that. Oh how wrong he was...

Pairing: Kakashi x Reader (but in Kakashi's pov 🙂‍↕️)

Content: fem! reader, slow burn, strangers to "something" to lovers, light smut, mention of depression, lot's of thoughts, lot's of confusion.

Word count: 8.3k (😬)

A/N: Kakashi's character is so complex and hot and hard to write and hot and tragic but hot, so yeah, love him so much *.*

pervert.

When the saleswoman at his favorite bookstore gave him a raised eyebrow, all Kakashi could do was smile while scratching the back of his head in a manner that reeked of humor.

"I understand why you wanted to read Make-out Paradise… but now even the other two books?"

"What can I say, it really drew me in."

"And.. you say you've read it..."

"Yes, I've read it three times already, I think it's time to find out what happens in the sequel, don't you think? Hahaha" he let his body wiggle a little, and his free eye rolled up into a smile.

"Pervert," the girl muttered as she slid off the counter and went to get more books.

The ninja tiredly scanned the other books on display on the counter. The well-known novel "Life of a shinobi: Honor or Death" caught his eye. With a soft sigh, he picked up the book, turned it upside down, and began to stare at the wall clock that didn't actually work.

He would never admit it out loud, but reading an erotic novel, in which the most exciting thing is actually the various lovemaking positions, had become his new favorite way to distract himself. The distraction from the dead bodies he was cleaning after massacre several months prior; from the feeling of total guilt of allowing Itachi, the boy with soft eyes and always a calm expression on his face Itachi, to go and slaughter everyone in his clan; from death of his friends..

Not to speak of it, he realized that nothing calmed him as much as re-reading the same book with the light and warm plot. The fact that he could relive what he knew would end well gave him a sense of comfort that he hadn't experienced in a long time. Life was bearable again. Just a bit. Just a little bit more, he didn't want to kill himself.

"Your books,"  mumbled the saleswoman into her chin, still clearly under the impression, as she quickly took the money from him "enjoy the rest of your day."

"Thank you. Be sure that I will. Ha! I mean... not in that way..." the now blushing girl looked at him as if he had gone completely mad. He felt his own cheeks slowly warming up "well, anyway... I'm going now. You! You have a nice day... really nice day..."

His smiling aura slid at a moment as he left the shop. He put the third part of “Make-Out” in his shoulder bag, while opening the second one as he walked slowly in an unknown direction. What is he gonna do now? Maybe he should go to get some ramen? But he failed to keep Obito's promise, he couldn't save Rin from death, his father wasn't there to see how much he had progressed. Perhaps he could go back to that cursed rock again. Yeah, that seems like better idea.

"Kakashi!!!" he heard Gai shouting for him from a distance "my eternal rival!!!! Come! Let’s see who can drink more sake before nightfall!!"

But he just continued walking, looking at the first page of the book. He reminded himself that if he does not get involved no one would die because of him. If he doesn't intervene, it wouldn't hurt as much if someone from them died. If he doesn't get involved, perhaps those damn stubborn people would finally realize how truly awful person he is.

When he reached the next corner between streets, he was about to run the rest of the way, but a melodic voice froze him in his tracks.

"Are ninjas in this silly village not taught manners?" He turned and saw a girl leaning against one of the buildings at the corner. How, in the hell, hadn't he noticed her presence before? He decided to let his visible eye wander into a something that seemed like smile.

"I really don’t know what you’re talking about…"

"Pfft" the girl continued to lean her head against the wall, staring at Kakashi with a smirk on her face; her relaxed body language contradicted the words she spoke to him, as if she wasn't intimidated in the slightest "The famous copy ninja Kakashi Hatake, known to all bounty hunters, his name written in more bingo books than can be counted... Yet, you appear to be even more of a creep than the old man who wrote that perversion you're reading"

Kakashi felt strange at her words, gripping his kunai knife tightly in the pocket of his pants. Was she an enemy? He quickly surveyed the area suspiciously as he seemed to be merely searching for a more comfortable way to stand. Hidden Mist Village headband... what the hell?

"Well.." now he was looking cautiously in the direction of the girl "you talk about manners, and you didn't introduced yourself... very hypocritical, don't you think?"

"Hmmm" the girl smiled again, and then pulled out a scroll from her pocket that opened in front of Kakashi "I have permission. And besides, I'm done with my work for now, so I’ll be leaving today. I was just wondering if you really are as cold hearted as everyone says..."

"And?" he looked away from the scroll, returning his gaze to the book that he still held open in his left hand "are they right?"

"I can only say that I'm disappointed" he felt the girl shrug her shoulders "well, see you next time, pervert."

He just hummed. Before he turned and continued walking towards that cursed, stupid rock, he heard the voice again.

"Oh, and did you hear," he looked and she was smiling very widely; something hot filled his stomach "that now the 4th part is being written? I mean, the creepy old man... you already know who I'm talking about."

She winked and disappeared from his sight as silently as she had come. As he continued to observe the now empty space where she had been a second ago, he felt feverishly lucky that he had not learned the girl's name. And if something happened to her, her name would not appear before his eyes in his nightmares.

mercy.

It was the 4th day of the chunin exams and Kakashi couldn't sit and wait any longer. The link with the birds that were relaying information about the happenings had been cut since Orochimaru had magically appeared, then disappeared. He felt nervous. He felt nervous and noticed that it came out in the way he peeled an orange, in the way he would grip the doorknob when he left the room to get some air, and in the way his leg bounced every now and then.

Perhaps he shouldn't have been so harsh with Iruka a few days earlier, saying that his students were now warriors. But he knew that if he had shown even a fraction of the insecurity he felt, his decision would not have carried the authority that now have. So because he wanted his ego to remain intact he left the company of the other jonin, who would probably feel his nervousness at any moment, then climbed onto the roof of the Hokage building and let the sun caress him.

They have the best chance to survive in the shinobi world if they ruthlessly face every obstacle. They have the best chance to survive in the shinobi world if they ruthlessly face every obstacle. I did not send them to their deaths. I did not send them to their deaths. Kakashi repeated those sentences to himself more than he would like to admit.

With big sigh he opened the 3rd book of Make-Out and stared blankly at the pages.

"Hahahaha, wait, wait, you're still reading that nonsense? How long has it been? 4 years?"

His smile curved beyond his will, though she didn't see it because of his mask. He didn't hear her when she got closer to him, like few years prior. How wonderful...

"And who are you?" he looked at her now with his head tilted to the side.

"Oh, that hurts, you know" said the girl with a sneer in her voice, sliding next to him "I know I'm not that *ultra famous* like you are, but we've already met. Plus even I have a target on my head now. These criminals' bingo books, blah blah" and Kakashi was aware of that. When he was in the Land of Waves on a mission with his team, about a month ago, he took Zabuza's bingo book with him. As he flipped through the pages he saw a familiar face, although for a moment he was slightly unsure if it was the girl he met a few years ago. The scar on her cheek was new...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Name: y/n

Rank: unknown, approach with caution

Village of Origin: A Hidden Mist village, Land of Water

Known Techniques: water manipulation, blood manipulation

Orders: wanted dead or alive

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ah, many new faces lately..." he cooed while watching over village in those quiet moments. How the hell she keep finding him when he is alone? And he didn’t have much alone time since becoming leader od Team 7.

"By the way, your kids are holding up well there, as far as I could see" - now he looked at her "if I hadn't seen other things in my life, I would say that they are very young. But we both know it could have been worse. They'll finish the obstacle... they had that crazy determined look in their eyes about half a day ago."

"Search birds are not working for 3 days now."

"Ah well, we "watermen" don't use birds for surveillance. That's what you should have learned at your sweet little academy."

"The fact that you're not on the organizing team for this exams and yet have your own means of monitoring shouldn't surprise me?" Kakashi knew more than he asked. The ninja of the Village Hidden in the Mist were not at all interested in the official ninja ranking that the other villages held so dearly. They were ruthless warriors, deadly as soon as they left the academy, probably even then at chunin level. Now this is simply gathering information… he was aware of that from the moment the first registration from that village for the chunin exams in the last 7 years came. Only Kakashi wanted to know why…

"You know" the girl now closed her eyes and laid so still for a few minutes that the copy ninja thought she fell asleep "even though the rest of the ninjas in my village are furious because of what happened to Zabuza, I'm very grateful to you. I mean, I really wasn't the least bit touched by anything that happened to that... that.. him. But the way you treated Haku's body…"

Kakashi felt his stomach acid rising in his throat. Haku... another mistake of his. Another victim of chidori that shouldn't have been. Haku had a soul as pure as snow, Haku should have escaped... Haku shouldn't have ended up like Rin.

"In any case" now she opened her eyes, slightly teary, keeping Kakashi rooted in place "you showed mercy that our village has not experienced in a long time. Thank you for that. Especially since it was a boy who was kind."

Kakashi let out a soft breath although to his ears it was almost as loud as a scream. No one had ever seen him that way. No one had ever called him merciful... He felt dizzy... what the hell was this woman doing to him...

"Didn't you say last time that you made sure I'm cold-blooded like everyone says?"

"I think I actually said that I was disappointed. And by disappointed, I meant that I was expecting someone with a dirty aura, and I got something completely opposite."

Kakashi hummed, now loking at the village. But still feeling her eyes on him.

"And didn't you say you don't remember me?"

"Huh. Tushe."

stupid distraction.

Ever since he saw y/n at the time of chunin exams, Kakashi actually, even 6 months later, hasn't stopped seeing her. It turns out that y/n has actually been in high demand in the Lands of Water since last January, with a huge bounty on her head. Words circulated that with her blood manipulation, she forced the Mizukage's own brother to cut himself bit by bit with his blade until he died by his own hand in a pool of blood. Rumor has it that she left a letter written in his blood which said that his death was compensation for the rape of the girls from the Village Hidden in the Mist, one of whom is her cousin. Since blood revenge is completely justified in the villages of more southern longitude, the Mizukage made all the criminals of those villages duty to kill y/n on the spot or bring her alive. That's why she is in all bingo books.

He hadn't heard much about on whose permission she was in Konoha before, but when Tsunade came back and became Hokage she gave y/n asylum and declared her an auxiliary force. It turns out that during the chunin exams, she helped the village a lot in monitoring the enemy even though she didn't have to and therefore Tsunade befriended her very quickly.

What Kakashi really couldn't understand at the begining was how everyone got close to her so quickly. He found himself pretty often following y/n as she moved around Konoha, looking for anything that would make his suspicion justified. He watched when she stops by the market for fresh fruits and veggies, or talks to Kurenai in the street with a big smile, or when she practices her water control by the stream next to half a kilometer from the memorial stone. He wished he could just stand next to her and feel the warmth radiating from her up close again as she squirmed when she talked.

Which was out of the question now, sure, because she didn't want to talk to him anymore. But it certainly didn't stop him from being attracted to her warmth. Of course, it wasn't like that for the whole 6 months, it even seemed to him that she enjoyed being in his company for the first month. She kept popping up, each time making no sound as usual and going on and on about how Naruto had gotten stronger, how Kakashi needed to be more gentle with Sasuke, how maybe it was better for Sakura to learn 1 on 1 new techniques to help her reach personal, not someone else's potential. She told him how in her village she liked to go to the banks of the harbor early in the morning and look for children who were fishing by themselves and to use her "magic" to pull out a few fish. They would laugh and call y/n princess of the sea. With a very serious expression on her face she listed endless crazy reasons why Kakashi could wear a mask and swore in front of everyone present (even though they were actually alone) that one day she would find out what his face looked like. And when she talked she was beautiful.. actually, she was always beautiful. He mostly listened in silence, allowing the warm feeling in his chest to grow little by little with each of their conversations. He realized that he began to take the path to the memorial stone more often where there was a better chance of her jumping out. Once, she even came along with him as far as the stone itself, bowed and stood quietly for a while before whispering "at least you have a place to mourn your loved ones."

 However, that huddled routine that Kakashi looked forward to more than he'd like to admit stopped 10 days after Sasuke disappeared, and he ran into her for the first time after the failed mission. "You shouldn't blame yourself, you did everything you could" she was silent for a few minutes "I don't think you really could have stopped him.. you said yourself that Sasuke was stubborn. If you managed to bring him home, the question is whether he would still want to be a part of the team...". When Kakashi was still silent and tried to turn and leave she spoke again "When I lost my cousin I couldn't sleep for days, I blamed myself and wanted to die. But I realized that what was happening to us was inevitable, if she had survived then maybe the Mizukage would have sent his guards and...” “You trying to cover your guilt with failed excuses shows what person you are like.. I will not live in such a miserable field” when the anger came out of him with that sentence Kakashi realized how wrong he was and tried to speak again, but a cold "I got it, go bathe in guilt if that's what you want" cut him off with eyes that glared at him. Y/n left after that and didn't speak to him again to this day.

So he was left to watch her from a distance. In moments when he felt lonely he blamed her. He often let his frustration get the better of him and then tried to talk to others about his doubts and pin his ugly feelings on y/n. Unfortunately for him, everyone loved her, starting with Gai who was finally getting a talkback about the flower of youth and someone with whom his passionate level would be similar.Kurenai finally felt close to a female ninja and laughter could always be heard from Tsunade's office when she was in. Genma showed a closeness to her like he hadn't with anyone in a long time... Kurenai even mentioned that they went on a date after some difficult mission. Which is perfectly fine and didn't leave Kakashi choking on a feeling he hadn't felt before at all. Hot again, but not in a nice way, it even felt a little like anger. And now he was standing in the Hokage's office wondering how a ninja with chakra that was impaled on a water core could cause so much fire.

"Well Kakashi, it's time for another S-rank mission" Tsunade smiled at him, holding sake in her left hand. It was already dusk and her paperwork work was due in about an hour, so her advisors weren't in the room "I hope you had enough time to rest."

"And if I said I didn't, it wouldn't change the situation much" he wasn't looking anywhere in particular while keeping his hands in his pockets. He was on the last mission for a full 3 weeks. Of course he was chakra exhausted. Of course he felt tired. Of course he wanted to do nothing but sleep, read Make-out, and visit the memorial stone. And check out what y/n is doing…

"You know yourself that the level of missions has increased since the death of the 3rd Hokage and the destruction of the village. All our enemies strike us now because they're hoping to catch us in weakness. Unfortunately we don't have enough jonin to cover the steady increase in S rank missions...so there is no time for long breaks. This one is especially hard, so you'll get an escort."

"Ah, escort..." now he was looking at the ceiling, how interesting tiles... "didn't you say that sending couple jonin rank ninjas on a mission is a waste of resources? That it should be done only in exceptional cases? Or you've actually started caring about me? In that case my heart is about to break…"

"This is an exceptional case, Kakashi" Tsunade got up from the chair and sat on the table directly observing Kakashi "the fact is that many jonin go on missions with their genin and chunin and they consider it a kind of vacation, because all those missions are B rank at worst. However, that privilege has been taken away from you since Sasuke escaped and Naruto went to train who knows where with Jiraiya" when she noticed that Kakashi would not respond to her remark she sighed deeply and continued "since this mission involves going into enemy territory you will take escort."

"Enemy territory?"

"Land of Waves to be precise. Y/n was already notified this morning that she has been assigned an S rank mission and will need to be your guide and support."

"Y/n?!" Kakashi felt his anger spreading through his body, so he tried with all his might, fists clenched in his pockets, to calm his breathing; he spoke very slowly and quietly "y/n has a huge bounty on her head in those villages. Or did you miss that? They will kill her as soon as she gets close."

"The scroll that was stolen is very important to Konoha, Kakashi " she held the tip of the nose with her eyes closed "y/n knows the risk and she accepted it. It was her duty at the end of the day" as she looked at him determinedly "as it was yours to take orders from the Hokage. You have a mission to complete, and for efficiency you'll bring a guide with you, who, if I must remind you, is also a jonin who does S-rank missions. You will take care of each other."

"You can't send her with me" he couldn't stop his legs from getting a little closer to her "you can't send her there, it will only be a big distraction."

"The decision has been made" she handed him the scroll looking at him resolutely "the deadline for the mission is 1 week. If you do not return by then, help will be sent to you. All the details are in the scroll, I expect a successful report when you return. That's it, you can go."

"But, Lady Tsunade –"

"That's it Kakashi" a small crack was heard from the wood of the table that cracked under Tsunade's pressure "you can go."

Damn it he thought.

i’m so sorry.

"Of course you're late" y/n looked at Kakashi leaning against the wall of village gate, her bag on the floor between her legs.

"You won't believe what an infestation of angry geese was in front of my house" he smiled at her, scratching the back of his head.

"Yes, yes. Move then..." she just walked away leaving him standing there for a few moments staring at her. He wondered if she knew where he was going before every mission. He wondered if she could see through his acting with that haunting gaze.

-

After few hours passed, in not so pleasant but endurable silence, air was getting colder. Kakashi felt his fingers slowly tingle, frantically trying to warm them in his pockets.

"Fuck.." muttered next to him y/n holding a finger in the air that was covered in water and her chakra "fuck, fuck."

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly, observing their surroundings. They were around 25 kilometers away from Konoha for a pretty short time because they were running most of the way wanting to reach the border of Land of Water by evening. It's only about an hour to the small town. They were currently in an open area and Kakashi desperately wanted to get out of the way as soon as possible.

"Once every few years Land of Water gets a period of so-called „false winter“"y/n blurted out through her teeth, keeping her gaze still on the water that was wrapped around her finger "you see? There is a thin layer of hoarfrost gathering on the surface. It's not cold enough to freeze, but maybe, in 2 days, it will be enough."

"And what do those winters look like? Should we expect snow?"

"Probably not. The problem with this winters is that they are very cold and wet. On the other hand they never last more than a week. But people freeze to death because winters come so suddenly, so we have to be very careful. And of course, to return home as soon as possible."

"Clearly..." Kakashi spoke in a moment, swearing at his fate. This mission probably couldn't get any worse.

He watched y/n wipe hands on her pants, and warming the hand she had attached the water to by slowly blowing into it. He couldn't resist the urge and slowly put his hand on her shoulder. She looked at him with a look that almost brought him to his knees. Honest, clean, which allows the color of her eyes to completely come to the fore.

"Don't worry" he said quietly, now in some incomprehensible fear of not scaring her further, and with a huge desire to slowly dance his fingers on her face... to get rid of every concern "we will finish this mission successfully. Everything will be alright."

"Mhm" the girl in front of him uttered a falsely cheerful voice "and even if something happens, you won't have to swim in pool of pathetic excuses so I'm not even worried about you" she slipped out of his touch with the speed of an eye blink "it's time to go and find a room if we don't want to sleep in the cold."

"Y/n..." he tried

"Come on" she interrupted him already ready for a new round of running "don't lose sight of me."

-

When they arrived at the room they had barely rented as it was the last one in a shack at the very end of a famous town, within reach of a Village Hidden in Mist, Kakashi thanked every exalted being that existed for the 2 large separte beds in their room. As he made the beds, placed the maps on the floor of the room, took the food out of his bag, he listened to the sound of the shower coming out of the bathroom and suddenly he felt terribly hot. Although he had never been intimate with a woman... or anyone really, out of constant fear of getting hitched and that person dying, Kakashi actually often felt very lustful. It had appeared in flashbacks before, when he saw a pretty girl at one of his missions, when he passed a public women's bath, when he was reading his books... however he had never wanted something or someone so much that it made him act on that lust. The present moment, on the other hand, was driving him completely insane. Yes, he thought y/n was very very beautiful and her strong character was surprisingly attractive. He thought her smile was as sweet as honey and there was nothing warmer than her beautiful disposition. And yes, sure, one time when they happened to be together in a bar with mutual friends, not talking to each other of course, he got surprisingly turned on by one look at her bare legs. Although now he thought that that arousal could not even be considered arousal because what he was feeling right now was 10 times stronger. When he realized that if he continued like this he would either go crazy, or unwillingly go and do something.. with her, or cum within a full minute Kakashi went into deep concentration considering the mission.

After a few minutes y/n came out in a plain t-shirt and shorts, no bandages on her arms and legs so now he could see a lot of small cuts on the lenght of her arms. He felt that she could see that he was looking at her and he just kept his eyes on her waiting for her to speak.

"We have very hard endurance training as kids" y/n muttered noticing Kakashi is staring at her "they're not as gentle with us at the academy as they are with you. Especially if you are female."

"I understand" he looked at her with full attention "it must have been difficult for you."

"Of course it was" she threw herself on the bed with a sigh, letting her wet hair fall on the pillow "although we don't talk much about it. What happened happened."

"Does it bother you that I saw?" he left the question floating in the air. Her thighs were dripping with water that she hadn't wiped off. He wondered what it would feel like to run his lips over them.

"No" she fell silent a little and looked him directly in the eye "even though I don't agree with you about some things, I believe you. I've seen how you treat others. You always put someone else's life before your own and I really appreciate that. So the result is that I'm not ashamed of who I am right now. At least not in front of you."

Kakashi's legs walked on their own towards the bed where y/n lay. He wanted to comfort her, he wanted to kiss every cut on her body, he wanted to show her that she can show her vulnerable side. When she saw him coming towards her y/n sat down in a meditation pose leaving room for the ninja to sit on the other end of the bed which he did. When some time had passed Kakashi removed the headband from his other eye and looked at her with both eyes open. He noticed how the girl in front of him was trying like hell not to stare at his sharingan now, her eyes darting left and right as she paid attention to both eyes.

"I'm so sorry" mumbled Kakashi "I'm so fucking sorry for what I said the last time we spoked. If I could, I would do everything differently."

She watched him quietly. Then uncertainly reached out a shaky hand and touched his scar just below his eye which made Kakashi wince. What the hell was he thinking?! If she wanted to, she could have dug out his eye and taken it to the enemy!

"Sleep. Tomorrow is a tough one" he spoke harshly when, without looking at her again, he stood up and went to take a shower. Then hating himself, he entered the room again and saw her pretending to sleep with slightly red eyes from crying.

regrets.

The next day, they were already passing few small communites, moving through the Land of Waves. They only had a few more hours of walking left before they entered the Village Hidden in the Mist, and darkness was already slowly falling. Both of them had bought long coats on their way out of the city, so that the cold, which was slowly but surely getting into their bones, could be endured. However, Kakashi was feverishly aware of one thing – this all seemed too easy. They hadn't encountered a single ninja so far, there was no sign of anyone noticing who y/n was and the road was passable without control.

"Probably because of the cold " y/n mumbled trying to gather the cold mist into droplets on her palm when Kakashi shared his worries with her "I told you people doesn't handle it well enough in these parts."

"Hmm" he watched as the mist and chakra slowly danced and merged at the tip of her palm, making water "it would certainly be good if we didn't linger here for much longer. Considering how in demand you are here and how cold it can be."

"It's good that we left most of the things in that hut" now she let the water slowly drip from her fingers "being overloaded would only slow us down. And since sleeping in any hut here is not an option because of our bountys, and sleeping outside is not because of the cold, we can only finish the mission tonight and return to the hut tomorrow night."

"Sure thing, lady" he hummed.

-

It was the dead of night when they were half a kilometer from the base, which did not seem protected. Guards were probably inside because of the cold, Kakashi thought. The fog enveloped them and honestly suffocated him slightly even with the mask he always wore. When the wind blew, it would whip his face and make him shake for a moment. It was very cold. He watched as y/n looked at the white rabbit with small cut on right ear in confusion, crouching. He took out his kunai sorry little guy.

"No" she spoke quietly next to him "white rabbits are not always a distraction... don't worry."

"I hope you didn't trick me...trust me i will find out and it won't end well for you."

She glared at him, tilting her head to the side... a sarcastic smile moved to adorn her lips.

"How are you not ashamed?" she whispered, but because of the silence of the night he heard her very well "I sacrificed myself for your village in this half year than for mine my whole fucking life" she poked him in the chest with her finger "I was more polite to you than you deserve. And I would have fucking killed you in your sleep last night if I wanted to."

"You remained as fiery and hot as the last time I saw you" spoke a voice from the shadows behind them. Kakashi lifted his headband and grabbed the shuriken in his pockets. However a stiff y/n caught his attention more.

"Y/n" the copy ninja cracked "y/n what's going on?!"

"Shino..." she whispered confusedly looking into the darkness. How the hell do these swamp ninjas manage to be so damn quiet??

"What's up beautiful," out of the darkness, where y/n was looking, a tall ninja came out with the band of the village hidden in the mist hanging around his neck. His entire body except face was covered in bandages and a blade similar to Zabuza's was attached to his back… this is not good "you know I missed you."

"You tried to kill me" Kakashi watched y/n holding outstretched hand in front of her, chakra on the surface of her palm trembled slightly "I trusted you and you tried to kill me."

"Princess" a sneer was heard in his voice, he raised both hands above his head as if he wanted to show her that he did not want to hurt her "business is business, nothing personal."

"I loved you and you tried to kill me" her voice trembled as she turned her hand upwards and the ninja fell to his knees still with a smile on his face, his blue eyes sparkling in the moonlight

Kakashi tried to use the Sharingan to quickly assess the situation, but realized that there was nothing to be gained from it. The fog was too thick, the night was too dark and he didn't fucking know what to do. Should he summon Pakun? Should he kill the asshole on the spot?

"I see you still like bad boys, princess. But you yourself know that in the end you are regretted by everyone, in the end everyone sees how weak you are." Shino spoke with difficulty on his knees, a grimace on his face, probably due to blood manipulation "you still chose none other than Kakashi of sharingan. I'm impressed" he was looking at Kakashi now, a dirty smile returning to his lips "you know the redwater brothers want you dead ever since you killed Zabuza... that wasn't nice of you Kakashi."

"Ah, business is business, isn't it, nothing personal" Kakashi smiled with his eyes.

"Hah" Shino looked at y/n again "honestly, I never even loved you. What has to happen happens."

Then several things happens at once. Kakashi saw the ninja on his knees turning into water with his sharingan, and heard rustling behind them. Fucking water clone.

"Fucking shit -" Kakashi whispered furiously under his breath, quickly turning on his heels and activating chidori. A few seconds passed before he stood behind y/n shielding her back and pierced the spot where Shino's heart was with his chidori. The ninja fell from his hand, along with his blade with a dull thud. Kakashi turned to look at y/n who was looking at him with wide eyes and felt a searing pain in his chest. With a low curse he fell to his knees as he realised that he was almost cut open in half.

"No!" y/n shouted as she quickly knelt in front of him with her hands glowing with chakra "Kakashi, Kakashi, keep your eyes on mine."

Is this it? He thought as his head reeled. Although his eyes seemed to be open, he saw nothing. He only heard the soft sound of chakra vibrating somewhere nearby and shallow breats. Maybe some whimpers. But he wasn't sure.

"Kakashi! I will never talk to you again if you die now" a distant soft voice cracked "I can't lose you. I don't want to lose you."

"I l-lied" he spoke quietly, not sure if she heard him at all, but he tried anyway "you are very brave... so brave it scares me... So, of c-c-course you are not week. Of course you're not a dis-straction. Of course I don't regret going here with y-you."

"Look at me, I'm begging you."

The last atoms of power Kakashi focused on what appeared to be y/n's face. When his vision sharpened a little he saw a smile or a twitch, he wasn't quite sure, and the beautiful color of the eyes that he had come to love so much.

"You are so beautiful."

lavander.

When Kakashi woke up in a dark room that smelled of lavender he was sure he was dead. He tried to blink hard a few times and shake the sleep from his eyes before he managed to sit up. His mask was still there, though he was dressed in plain clothes and covered with a thick blanket. Although he was warm, the air in room was cold. He realized that he was in the hut where he and y/n had left their things before they went to the Land of Waves. When he turned to the right he saw lavender in a pot and a small letter. He took the letter and began to read.

By all accounts you should wake up before I’m back. I left medicinal herbs, tea and food on your table. Don't even think of touching the bandage. I managed to sew up the wound completely, but it's better that the bandage soaked with medicinal water stays until I return, just in case. Of the flowers in the local flower shop, there were only lavenders because of the winter, I hope you are not allergic. Hehe. I went to get that stupid scroll and finish the mission so I'll be back soon. Don't follow me. You lost a lot of blood and strength. Please wait. I'll be back, trust me.

P.S. I didn't peek under your mask. Pinky promise.

-

Those few hours in which Kakashi drank all the tea, ate all the food and thought about the best way to go after her, felt like days. He realized with great amazement that y/n had somehow managed to heal entire wound which now only itched, not hurt. He felt very exhausted as he looked out the window at the rain falling wrapped in a blanket. It must have been terribly cold outside. How many days did he sleep? How is y/n? Is she hurt? What if they catch her and kill her? What if she's already dead? How many days has she actually been out of the hut? If she is dead he will kill everyone who is responsible. But he is responsible... He let his guard down and let that jerk almost kill him and that's why y/n is out there alone now. He won't be able to live with himself if she's dead. He was too tired. He will rest for only half an hour more and then he will leave. Towards her. Yes, that sounds like a good idea.

Knock knock.

Kakashi stood up with his heart pounding. They found him. But if they found him that means they will wait there for y/n to come back and then kill her easily. He took the kunai, opened the sharingan eye and cautiously approached the door. He wouldn’t let that happen. When he flung open the door he saw y/n with gentle eyes watching him, a scroll in one hand, a Shino’s blade in the other. She was wearing a normal ninja uniform and was soaked to the core. Y/n smiled widely at him but fatigue was very visible on her face. Her body was shaking uncontrollably from the cold.

"Oh thank heavens, you're awake" it came as sigh from her lips "I didn't want to drop any of this on the floor. Sorry if you had to get up. Everything went smoothly. Mission is complete."

He quietly helped her inside, took the things from her hands and put them on the floor. When he went to turn on the shower so that somehow hot water would warm up y/n he realized that there was no use because the water had frozen in the pipes.

"The shower doesn't work" he rasped and realized that it was probably the first thing he had said in days "change into something dry. We need to warm you up."

Kakashi then placed 2 blankets over each other on his bed and pulled y/n who was now only in a t-shirt and shorts (because that was the only thing dry) into bed with him. He hugged her tightly, limbs completely intertwined, his hands rubbing hers, trying to bring some warmth back into her body. All this with full awareness of how she was lying next to him in just shorts and a t-shirt. He fought the growing erection in his underwear, thinking about anything but the woman in his arms that he wanted more than anything else.

"I thought you were going to die" she spoke quietly against his chest, probably more to herself than to him, but he certainly heard her very clearly.

"You saved my life, Thank you" he mumbled against her hair.

Now she cocked her head hard and fast locking her eyes with his, fire in them, just the way Kakashi loved it.

"If it wasn't for you, I would be dead" she snapped angrily, holding his gaze with hers, now he kept his sharingan eye open "I just did one tolerable, but miserable thing."

"You are extraordinary. Really. I’m all heald now thanks to you. When I woke up today I felt like whole new person. Thank you" he lightly touched her cheek with his hand "And I don't know if that went through your crazy little head, but the last thing I want is to let people I care about die while I'm just watching from the sidelines. That very much includes you."

As if momentarily embarrassed, she looked away from him and brought her head back to rest on his chest. She breathed deeply.

When he noticed that the normal temperature was slowly returning to her body and the shivers stopped being so strong Kakashi let out a soft laugh.

"I don’t believe a thing you say,"

"What?" y/n cocked her head again looking into Kakashi's one open eye with a confused expression. That made him grin even wider.

"I don't believe you didn't look under the mask."

The girl in his arms scoffed looking at him with mocking eyes "My curiosity is big, but not so much that I want to play dirty. If i really wanted to see what's underneath I'd make you show me yourself."

"And?" Kakashi felt his breath slowly run out of anticipation "do you want to see it that badly?"

She looked at his mask silently then studied his open eye.

"You want to show me?" she asked quietly, and he just continued to watch her, with an unknown glow. She slowly removed both hands from the blanket and ran her fingers to the top of his mask. Her hands were shaking slightly and Kakashi realized with something, ah here it is again, very warm in his stomach that she wasn't shaking from the cold this time. Y/n slowly removed the mask from his face as he watched her carefully. When the whole cloth was finally removed, she sighed deeply. A soft smile graced her lips.

"Ah, what a disappointment" her gaze circled all over his face "nothing of the huge lips and horse teeth."

Kakashi felt his lips curl into a smile. He hugged her a little tighter.

"You are so beautiful. Gorgeous even." she looked him in the eye and now he was terribly, terribly hot all over. No one ever addressed those words to him. His body just moved closer to her until her lips were only inches away from his. He felt her breath brush his lips. He was waiting for her to do something… anything.. to give him the green light. Because no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't move on his own. Such tender and fragile moments were not frequent in his life, and suddenly he was terribly afraid of breaking this too. However when y/n pressed her lips to his all worries were quickly erased from his mind.

They kissed deeply and slowly as he ran his hands all over her body. He made sounds he didn't know he was capable of, but realized that nothing compared to her sighs and moans from the kiss. He slowly moved from her lips to her neck which he had been watching for so long as they talked months from now, taking deep breaths.

"How perfect you are" he murmured as she melted in his arms. She ran her hands first over his shoulders, then his back, finally letting her hands go under his shirt. He moaned burying his head deeper into her neck.

"Kakashi..." came out of her mouth like a plea, as if it was too much for her.

"I know y/n, I know," he breathed a big, hard sigh as he held her hips tightly so she wouldn't move against him anymore. It was very clear to him that she felt how much he wanted her. And he now wanted her to show her how much he wanted her "can I touch you?"

She looked at him with a warm look and red cheeks, then nodded briskly.

He let his hand dance from her neck, over her stomach, down to her lower abdomen where he pressed his hand firmly.

He kissed all over her hands, all the little cuts he'd seen just a few days before.

"Perfect. So fucking perfect. Lift your hips for me pretty girl" he whispered softly.

When he took off her shorts and realized how wet she was, he almost cummed In his pants at that moment.

He just touched her enterance briefly and she moaned leaning into his touch. Nothing has happened yet and he was so fucking turned on. Turned on by her smooth skin, maddening smell, her sighs, moans... This is 100x better than any erotic novel. He slowly kissed her clit, than licked it experimentally. Y/n closed her eyes and left her hands flying to his hair, hips bucking up to meet his mouth.

'Look at me, let me see you" he darkly whispered against her pussy, looking at her with his both eyes. He then licked and sucked her swollen clit, eyes never leaving hers, making her moaning mess.

"Fuck Kakashi, fuck" she cried pressing one hand against her mouth, than changing mind and letting that hand grip on his hair too "i need you now. Please."

He stopped for a second watching her.

"Are you.. -"

"Yes, yes, and don’t you fucking dare to leave now."

"Sure thing pretty lady" he smiled against her heat.

He took his time, exploring every exposed piece of skin now that he took her t-shirt off too. He blinked open the sharingan again and he was so damn happy that he could predict how she would react to every touch. He looked at her; sprawled out underneath him, with her face flushed, lips swollen.

"Have I ever told you that you are perfect?" he had that boyish smile now, looking at her lovingly.

"Pervert" she grinned while kissing him quickly.

"Ah yes" he left few kisses to her neck again "I remember you calling me that a few times" he put his fingers on her clit making her to squirm with embarrassment.

"Please Kakashi" her voice was so fucking sweet "I need you. Please."

"Need you too" he mumbled against her lips "so much. My beautiful girl."

Then all he could feel was her. She clouded all five senses and he felt like he was going insane. It was over far too quickly.

"Madness" he whispered in her ear and nuzzled her neck, thrusting deep and steady "you are madness."

He gave a few last thrusts and reached down with his hand to help her finish. It wasn’t long until she was writhing and whimpering underneath him.

He kissed the top of her head before he pulled her into him protectively, feeling sleepy. Enjoying the feeling of her skin flush against his, her sweet smell and now steady breaths he felt his body completely relaxing.

As he slowly drifted off to sleep he asked quietly against her hair "do you want to go out sometime?"

[minkyungseokie]

When Nothing Goes Right | LS2

synopsis; Y/n, Logan's long-distance gf, surprises him at the AusGP, but things aren't as happy as they should be

warnings; none

note; requested

note 2; Y/n has no mentioned race but doesn't know English. Jackson is an Oc and the reader’s older brother

Let me know whether you prefer first person or third person pov Please be nice. I haven't written in years and this is my first time writing for F1

Autosports Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Logan Masterlist

I do not give anyone permission to change, copy, or put my work on any other platform. It will only be on top, so if you see it, please report it. Or let me know.

It had been a few years since Y/n and Logan had begun dating. The two met as children after Y/n had started karting herself. They immediately hit off and stuck to each other like glue. Wherever Y/n was, you'd find Logan not far behind with a big smile on his face.

Their families could already tell that the two would be something more in the future. Your older siblings even started a bet on how long it would take for the two to fully understand their feelings and confess. Neither of them won because it only took them until the sixth grade to realize that what they felt wasn't platonic. They didn't understand their feelings fully, but they knew that they were no one just friends.

Everything has been perfect until Logan's career in karting began popping off and he soon entered F4. To make matters worse, Y/n's parents had split and decided that Y/n would go with her mother back to their home country. Dalton and Jackson thought it'd ruin the relationship the two youngest siblings had built and they'd break up, which would break the two since they were madly in love even if they fully couldn't understand what love was, but that wasn't the case.

Despite the distance between them, Y/n and Logan had decided to stay together and find long distance a try even though their parents, siblings, friends, cousins, and neighbours warned them that long distance was hard. Even people online said that long distance wasn't the best idea because it tended to end with one or both partners cheating on each other, however; Y/n and Logan trusted each other with their lives, so they decided to give it a chance.

                     •⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•

Now, Logan was a driver in Formula One and Y/n was studying at Uni. During their time apart, they'd only seen each other at least twice. Even though they haven't seen each other properly in years, they have only grown fonder of each other.

As the saying goes, "Distance makes the heart grow fonder"

Y/n plopped down on her bed in nothing but a towel, answering a FaceTime call that came in on her computer, "Hey, you." Y/n greeted happily, "Hey, babe. I'm sorry to call you so late. I know you're probably busy and tired from work..." Logan sighed. "No! You're fine, love. I just got out of the shower. Anyway, what's up?" Y/n asked, removing the towel off her head and running a hand through her hair, "Nothing much. I just wanted to see you." Logan flirted, giving Y/n a smile.

Y/n stood up from the bed and began towelling herself off, "That's cute. If I'm not wrong, the Australian GP is coming up. How do you feel?" Y/n questioned. "I'm excited. To be honest, I want doing well last year. But it's a new year and you know how I worked hard during the break, so I'm ready. Speaking of the Australian GP, do you think that you can come watch?" Logan hesitantly asked, looking down before looking back at Y/n, who was now sitting on her bed in pyjamas.

"I...Logie, you know I'd love to..." Y/n hesitantly started, "I know. You have work and school, but you have never come to a GP before. I want you to come to support me at least once. But I understand. I don't want to force or coerce you to do anything you can't or don't want to do. You'll eventually come to one, right?" Logan asked. "Of course. I plan on coming as soon as I have the time to." Y/n promised.

She kept thinking about the fact that she had never attended one of Logan's races and began feeling like a shit girlfriend, so she ended up DMing Logan's childhood friend whom she had only heard about from Logan, Oscar Piastri and he somehow got her in contact with Alex Albon, Logan's teammate. Together the three made plans to sneak Y/n into the GP without Logan noticing.

It wasn't hard.

She had notified her job and her school of her trip and packed for Australia. She got on a plane as soon as she could, which ended up being the afternoon of FP2,dropped her things off at the hotel, leaving it behind the desk so she could share a room with Logan, and made her way to the track with a VIP pass in her hand.

The girl was practically vibrating as she walked through the paddock by herself. She was supposed to be looking for Oscar or Alex, but she was way too excited to see her boyfriend again. Luckily, Alex spotted her while she was roaming the paddock, "Hey! You're Y/n, right? Logan's girlfriend?" The man asked, approaching her, "Oh, yes. You must be Alex. The teammate." Y/n said, holding out a hand for Alex to shake.

The British Thai driver looked down at her hand before taking it and giving it a firm shake, "It's lovely to meet you. Logan's been talking about you. A lot." Alex said, jokingly rolling his eyes as if he was annoyed, but he truthfully enjoyed seeing his teammate talk about someone who made him happy and kept him sane while he was having a shit year. "Hey, mate. Is this her?" Another voice asked, but this time it was with a strong Australian accent.

Y/n turned to see a brunette in an orange and black shirt approaching them, "You must be the Oscar Piastri that I heard so much about." Y/n said, reaching out fit his hand. Oscar smiled and shook her hand, "I am. You must be Y/n. Logan talks about you a lot." Oscar commented. "So I've been told. It's lovely seeing something other than the pictures Logan sent to me when you guys were younger." Y/n chuckled.

"Come on. FP2 is starting soon and we want you to reunite as quickly as possible." Alex said, leading you towards the garage with Oscar following behind, "So how long have you two been together?" Oscar questioned. "We've been dating for eleven years, I believe. Since we were twelve." Y/n answered, "Eleven years! That's a long time." Alex awed

Once they were close by, Y/n’s heart began to race. She hid behind Alex and Oscar so she was hidden while Oscar pulled out his phone to film the interaction, “Logan, mate! Come here.” Alex called, “What? Do you need something?” Logan asked, voice getting closer as he walked up to them. “We noticed you were feeling a bit nervous, so we brought you something to cheer you up.” Oscar spoke, “What is it?” Logan asked, narrowing his eyes. “Why don’t you guess?” Alex suggested, “Just tell me.” Logan said, “Come on, have a bit of fun with it. Guess.” Alex insisted.

“Just give me whatever it is, mate.” Logan groaned, Y/n chuckled and tapped the boys on their arms, signaling for them to step aside. Logan watched as Alex and Oscar shared a look before stepping aside to reveal his girlfriend. Logan’s jaw dropped and his eyes widened, “Surprise!” Y/n cheered, giving the American jazz hands. Logan ran towards Y/n and scooped her up into his arms.

“You’re here! You told me—“ “That I wouldn’t be able to come. I lied.” Y/n said, burying her face into his shoulder. Logan put her on the ground and bent down, kissing Y/n softly, “I’ve missed you so much.” He muttered, “And I’ve missed you, my love.” Y/n responded, kissing all over Logan’s face. “Logan, Alex, it’s time for free practice.” A engineer called out, “Go out there and do your thing. I’ll be rooting for you.” Y/n said, cupping Logan’s face and connecting their lips.

•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•

Y/n stood in the garage with headphones covering her ears. She couldn’t understand why she never came to a race weekend before, it was exhilarating. She could tell that her boyfriend wasn’t the best on the grid, but she knew he want the worse. It was just amazing to see him in his element, “Go, Logan!” Y/n muttered, clenching the chord between her fingers.

Y/n frowned as an odd feeling settled in her stomach. Y/n put a hand on her stomach and focused on the screen, attempting to ignore the feeling. Something was going to go wrong and she didn’t know what or when. Unfortunately, she didn’t have to wait too long to find out because Alex crashed his car, “Oh shit.” Y/n hissed, biting down in her knuckle.

“Hey, Alex. Are you alright?” Y/n asked, looking at the British Thai driver with concern. “I’m fine.” Alex answered walking away, obviously upset by the accident.

Y/n couldn’t help but feel bad for him, knowing that it absolutely sucks to crash even if she never watched or read up on the sport before.

Y/n made took off her headphones as Logan came back to the garage and jogged up to the American man, “That was so cool! I feel sorry for Alex, but that was so cool! I can’t wait to see you actually racing.” Y/n rambled, grabbing Logan’s hands on hers. While she rambled, Logan just smiled down at her with the softest gaze, “Do you want to go out after this? Or we can go to my hotel room? Have you gotten yourself one?” Logan asked, cupping your cheek.

“We should stay in. Catch up everything we missed and couldn’t talk about on the phone and no, I don’t have my own hotel room. Although, if I did, it probably won’t be getting used.” Y/n tittered. “Let me go get changed and we can go back to the hotel.” Logan said, kissing Y/n’s forehead before rising off to his driver’s room.

Y/n waited and waited, but it seemed like Logan was not coming out, which worried her. Did he get hurt or something? What was teasing so long? Y/n was leaning against the side of the garage, waiting for any sign of her boyfriend, but there was nothing. Until Alex came out, looking conflicted, “Hey, Alex. Where’s Logan?” Y/n questioned, pushing off the wall, “Um, he’s on his drivers room. He’s, uh, not happy right now, so maybe it’s better if you go see him.” Alex suggested.

He pointed out which room was his and continue on with his day, which didn’t really seem out of the ordinary to Y/n. She approached his door and knocked gently, “Logan? Is it alright if I come in?” Y/n called in a gentle voice. It was quiet for a moment before she heard a croaky, “Yeah.” Come from inside.

Y/n opened the door to see Logan sitting on the bench looking distressed, “Oh, what happened? Are you okay? Alex told me you were upset.” Y/n rushed over to her boyfriend, bombarding him with questions out of worry. Logan shook his head, “Alex wrecked his car,” Logan started, “Yeah, I saw that, but what does that have to do with you?” Y/n questioned, kneeling down in front of Logan and grabbing his hands.

“We don’t have a spare chassis, so they’re taking mine and giving it to Alex.” Logan sighed, “What?!” Y/n practically screeched, her confusion and weird turning into anger. “They said that since Alex is the better and more experienced driver, he most likely get the team points.” Logan explained further, “That’s stupid.” Y/n said bluntly, “Y/n…”

“No, don’t “Y/n…” me. I get that Alex it’s better and has more experience, but that’s that dumbest fucking decision I’ve ever heard. That’s like rewarding someone for fucking shit up! He crashed his chassis to the point where it had to be retired, so you have to give up yours? That’s bullshit, Logan!” Y/n argued. “I’m aware. I’ve given my all to this team. I worked myself to the bone during winter break when I could’ve been with you because I wanted it to be beneficial to this team. They are all aware of it.

James said he believed in me. James said he knew that I could go far if I just had a little more time in the car. But it doesn’t seem that way. Maybe I’m just not good enough.” Logan sniffed. Y/n wrapped her arms around Logan’s neck, placing his head on her chest and rubbing his back, “Shut up, Logan. Don’t you dare continue saying those things about yourself. You are good enough. If you weren’t, you would have been chosen for this team in the first place.”

“But—“

“No buts. The previous Williams owner saw something in you that no one else saw and picked you from Formulas Two to drive in Formula One. If you weren’t good enough, he most definitely wouldn’t have chosen you so early. James know he’s dead wrong for this. James know that this is going to be a blow to you, but he thinks getting points is more valuable than your growth. I’m sorry to say this, my love, but you honestly deserve so much better. It’s not your fault that Alex crashed the car. It’s not your fault that this team is so broke that it can’t afford another chassis.” Y/n angrily said, raising her voice before taking a deep breath.

“I’m sorry. You’re upset and I’m over here ranting.” Y/n quieted down, pressing a kiss too the crown of Logan’s head, “It’s okay, babe. It’s what has to be done for the team to gain some points. It’s whatever.” Logan shrugged, “ no, it’s not whatever, but I’m not gonna continue talking about this. Instead, let’s go to the hotel and order food. We can watch our favorite movies together and cuddle until you feel better.” Y/n said, lifting Logan’s head so his eyes met her and giving him a calming smile.

Logan smiled, albeit it was a sad one, but a smile nonetheless, “I’d like that.” He said, “Good. And since you’re not racing tomorrow, maybe we can do a bit more than cuddling. But that’s only if you’re comfortable and willing.” Y/n teased, pulling Logan up from his seated position, “I’d really like that. Thank you for being here for me and I’m sorry you came all this way only to not see me race.” Logan apologized, “Bah, I do anything for you. It doesn’t matter whether you are racing or not, I’m still here for you and I’d still come. Y/n waved off his apology

“I love you.”

“Love you too. Now let’s go.”

[steddieas-shegoes]

homework

for @corrodedcoffinfest prompt 'let's talk about that'

rated t | 990 words | no cw | tags: therapy, gareth pov, personal growth, self-discovery

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Gareth hates therapy.

Okay, hate might be a strong word.

He dislikes it strongly and wishes he could just write in a journal or something.

“Let’s talk about that some more,” the therapist, Jessica, smiled encouragingly.

“Talk about what?” He genuinely has no clue what she wants to hear more about.

“Your need for validation from your bandmates.”

Oh. That.

He wouldn’t really call it a need. He just doesn’t ever do anything that they’d dislike him doing. Even if it would make him happy.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You mentioned that sometimes you have ideas for songs, but you know one of them won’t like it, so you don’t suggest it. Why don’t you give it a try even if they don’t like it?” She clarified.

“It’s not that easy.”

“Why not?”

“Because Jeff and Eddie basically run the band. They come up with most of the shit we do, I just add the drums,” he explained. “It’s worked that way this long, why disrupt the flow?”

“Do they tell you not to give your opinion?”

“Of course not. They always ask what I think.”

“And you choose to not give them honesty.”

“I…”

He didn’t realize that’s what was happening. And he hates that it took a therapist to figure it out.

“I’m not lying to them!” He rushed to say.

“Maybe not. But you’re not being completely truthful, either. Do you think they’d be upset if they knew that you were holding back to maintain the peace?”

Gareth hates therapy.

If Steve hadn’t insisted they all go twice a month, he wouldn’t even be here. If Sam hadn’t backed Steve up, a knowing smirk on his face when Gareth and Frankie argued they didn’t need therapy, he would be sitting on his couch or behind his drums.

“I guess there’s a chance they would be a little upset,” he finally admitted. “But not nearly as upset as if I disagreed with them and we argued.”

“How do you know a disagreement would lead to an argument?”

“Because all disagreements lead to arguments. Arguments lead to fights and silence and cold shoulders. Cold shoulders lead to people not wanting to be around each other anymore.”

Damn, Jessica was fucking good at her job. He didn’t even mean to say all that.

He didn’t even know he felt all that.

“Is this a pattern you’ve experienced before?” She set her notepad aside, all attention on him.

“I guess, yeah. My parents. My older brother and my dad. My grandparents and my mom. My first best friend.” He shrugged. “Just easier to go along with things. It’s not like I’m not happy.”

“Settling and being happy are two different things.”

“I am happy. Really.”

He is. He’s never been happier, actually. He gets to do the coolest job in the world with his best friends, he has a boyfriend he loves more than anything, and he gets to drink his favorite coffee every morning. Life is great.

“Do you think that happiness stems from the peace you’ve forced yourself to accept or from being content in your life?” Jessica leaned forward.

“Do you do this with everyone? Is this magic?” He asked, suddenly having the overwhelming urge to cry or run or both.

She laughed. “No, it’s not magic. It’s just understanding my people. You don’t give me much to work with, but sometimes something sticks out and I can run with it.”

“Seems like magic.” He sighs. There’s no way out of this conversation. “What am I supposed to do? Cause problems until no one wants me in the band anymore?”

“No. Do you want actual advice or do you wanna try to figure it out yourself?” She leaned back in her chair. “I’m pretty sure you won’t like my advice.”

“I don’t like most of what you say.”

“Fair enough.” She smiles. “I think you should try being honest next time there’s something you have a different opinion on. No one is going to hate you or want you out of the band. They value your opinion or they wouldn’t have you there to begin with.”

“Easier said than done.”

“Not necessarily. It’s only as hard as you make it.” She makes a note in the planner next to her. “I’m expecting you to give me at least one example of doing this by our next session.”

“Homework? I’m busy enough!” Gareth didn’t want this to get in the way of tour prep. They were starting rehearsals next week and had a few last minute adjustments to make on their album before the tour started.

“And it’s the perfect time to speak up,” she raised a brow, daring him to continue arguing. When he didn’t, she spoke again. “I’m not expecting you to do it all overnight. Just once.”

“Fine.”

****

The first rehearsal was a shit show. It always is, but everyone’s nerves were shot today after barely sleeping and a flight delay keeping two of the tech managers unavailable for an extra few hours.

Frankie snapped on him earlier, but he walked away. That wasn’t the time to follow Jessica’s advice.

Eddie stormed from the room a few minutes ago, said he needed a break to call Steve. He’d been arguing with his guitar tech over which of his five guitars to use for a song.

Gareth started to speak up to give his opinion, but Eddie was already too frustrated.

See, Jessica? This is why you should stay quiet.

But Eddie came back a few minutes later and asked Gareth what he thought.

“The one you use for Blue Night is probably what you should use for Invade. Sounds are similar enough for those songs,” he said without thinking.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Eddie agreed, knocking his shoulder against Gareth’s. “Thanks, man.”

“Dunno why he listens to you and not me,” the guitar tech grumbled.

Gareth smiled.

Okay, Jessica. Maybe you were right this time.

[charmedreincarnation]

ive known abt the void since 2019! yup, it's been 4 years lol. i was feeling mad depressed abt this but during that time, i have honestly grown spiritually and a week ago, i just sat down and wrote a post explaining the law from my pov and how i think people should apply it. as I was writing it, i realized what I believed to be the law and what i was doing in my void state journey were damn near opposites. lemme explain. if i truly believed the void was within me and i could enter easily, wtf was i meditating for it. i could just wake up in it right? but i was meditating damn near 2 hours everyday. so i honestly took a step back. away from me and just thought abt the void on its own? what is the easiest way to enter the void? wake up in it. all you gotta do is sleep and boom you're in when you gain conciousness. then why wasn't i trying this? because i didn't believe it was possible. i kept thinking of the void as a meditative state but it's not. so i went and read @gorgeouslypink doubts post and found all the success stories of people waking up in the void (ty to @voidarchivefiles for making that a billion times easier) and i searched reddit, and amino, and youtube. once i really believed that, i thought abt how to use this method. so i just listened to this subliminalevery night i fell asleep and every morning after I woke up and anytime I felt like it just for like 5 minutes and just affirming that i am going to wake up in the void state tonight and stuff like that. I somewhat detached bc to me it was something that would happen in the night so I'd just live my life for the rest. I started practicing your intention method. I would be like subconcious mind, I am going to drink this water and I would and shit like that. And I did listen to kottie's subliminal that @gorgeouslypink shared and I woke up in the void state and I manifested my desired face and acceptance to my desired university. I am going to UCLA now!!! I am honestly so happy and I just wanted to share. This took me 5 days, it was just releasing doubts (like genuinely) and intending to enter. I hope this helps other and thank you so much.

Im so happy for you <3 this also reminds me of my journey. I tried every method under the sun…. literally every single method. It seriously burned me out and made me hate my life and shifting/manifesting.

Honestly making the law feel natural and doing things you would only be doing whether you were trying to manifest something or not really took a lot of the weight of my shoulders and made it 1000x easier. I’m so glad you really took the time to find what you wanted to do and not what others were doing and stuck with it <3!

[l4brvtality]

Hey, can you write about damian x reader reader going through a horrible depressive episode where her friends left her out, her mom passed away and he broke up with her, after finn and dom gave him their thoughts he went to her home to make things right for her and found her in a horrible state that made him take care of her like, prepare a bath and cook her dinner

Moonlight on the river | 1/2

Gif Creds

Pairings - Damian Priest x Reader

Word count - 1.1k

Warnings - Angst , Damian breaking up with you , Reader have the worst day tbh, Mentions of parent death , Just over all angst :((

NOT PROOFREAD

You sat in the bathroom stall. Tears quickly falling as you tried wiping them with your hands. Your breathing was out of control at this point and you couldn’t even control the tears that would fall onto your cheeks. You had been on a girls day with your friends , but it felt like you were the only one being left out. This was supposed to be something to distract you from the problems that had been going on. But today , you felt like a burden instead of a friend. 

You tried brushing it off , thinking you had just been overthinking. But after a couple time of them ignoring you and eventually walking off in the middle of you talking.  Which is how you ending up here. In a bathroom stall. Letting the tears that were begging to be released, falling onto your cheeks.

You eventually got the strength to open the bathroom stall, splashing you’re face with water. As you walked to your car , you saw a text ping on your phone. You felt a smile form onto your face as you saw Damian , you boyfriend had texted you. A smile that quickly faded when reading the seriousness of the text.

“We need to talk.” It read

Your face morphed into confusion as you realized what this text could mean. Did he want to break up with you? Did something happen to him? The seriousness of his text was unbelievable as he had never been like this before. But nonetheless, you drove your car to the house you and Damian shared. 

Pulling up in the driveway, you saw the light to the bedroom was turned on. You got out of your car , walking over to the door. You unlocked the door and immediately walked upstairs to the bedroom you and Damian shared. Where you found Damian sitting in the front of it. He was fidgeting with his hands. What was he so nervous about? You thought.

“Hey whats up,” you asked seeing his nervousness.

“I think we should break up,” he spoke up. After a couple minutes of silence he finally spoke up again.

“We’re too different. And I feel like I cant love you if you cant love yourself. I mean , there’s other people that understad me in a million ways that I just think aren’t possible for you,” He  finally looked up at me. He had a cold stare. You felt yourself shiver from the atmosphere of the room.

You were confused. Although You had always been insecure , you thought that Damian didn’t care that much about it. You thought he wanted to help you through these insecurities not slander you for them. But you were wrong.

“I-I,” You tried speaking , but Damian cut you off.

“I just think I cant be together with someone so insecure. Someone who cant bare to love themselves and cant love me the way I want to be loved.” He spoke. His voice was cold. Unfazed. He had no remorse for the things he was saying. And that made break.

Once he saw the tears shine in your eyes, he got up grabbing his bags and heading for the door. How could he be so cruel? You thought. All you could do was stand in the doorway as you felt him brush past you. Giving you one more looked he went downstairs. You soon heard the front door slam shut as his car unlocked. You felt like you were going to throw up your insides. No way your day could get shittier than this. But atlas, it did.

Your POV —

I took a shower feeling the tears threatening to fall. I tried to hold in my emotions. But thinking about the day and how I had been treated by someone I lived most , it was hard to say the least. I heard my phone buzz on the counter as I stepped put the shower. With shaky hands I picked up my phone and answered it. But I wasn’t prepared for what was said on the other side.

“Hello is this Y/N?” The person asked

“Yes this is she.. what do you need?” You began feeling worried. 

“We are sad to inform you but , your mom (Moms Government name) has been hit by a drunk driver. She unfortunately passed away this morning. Im sorry we couldn’t get to you at that time—“ as she continued to speak, I felt myself getting dizzy. This couldn’t be happening. Not today.  You thought.

Damians POV —

I walked into The Judgment Day’s locker room, getting ready for my match. But I noticed the atmosphere felt different. Dom and Finn were mostly quiet. They were never this way before?

“Guys tell me whats up why are you two so quiet?” I asked.

Dominik scratched his head as Finn opened his mouth to answer me.

“Look man we’ll talk after the promo,” Finn and Dominik both walked past me as I stared at them in shock.

After the promo , me , Finn , and Dominik walked back stage. Back to our locker room. I tried not to let my confusion get into the way of the promo, but I ofter found myself zoning out whole thinking about it. They had never acted this way towards me , so what made their feelings change? 

I sat down on the locker room bench as I waited for Finn and Dominik to talk.

“Look we know about the Y/N situation..,” Dominik spoke first.

“And we dont think what you did was valid man , I mean did you know what happened to her mom that day, and the fact you put the weight of a breakup on her is just cruel..” Finn chimed in.

I felt confused. 

“What happened with her mom?” I asked.

Dominik sighed as he began to speak.

“She got into a car crash — A drunk driver is what she said.” 

“Look the only reason we know this is because Rhea told us about. After she texted Rhea about the breakup, and she repeated what you said— she just broke down man,” Dominik had a sour look on his face , meanwhile Finn turned away from them both.

Then the realization hit me. Thats why her eyes were so red. She had been carrying a hard weight in her shoulder. And when I broke up with her , that was just the cherry in top. A heavy weight of guild filled my mind as Finn and Damian told me what had happened. By the end , I knew I had to talk to her. Make things right. That was the least I could do, I thought to myself.

A/N 💬 - Yall please bare with me 😭 Im fr trying to get these requests done I have like 8 left so just be patient 💕

[joels-shitty-puns]

The Key To Your Heart - Track 3

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Gif creds to @bestintheparsec

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: 2.5K

Series List: Here!

Miss last chapter? Here!

Sorry this took so long. Work :( But I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think. :) Thanks for reading!

-Pedro's POV-

The warmth of the midday sun beamed through the window as Pedro glanced nervously at his watch. 12:55PM. Finally, he grabbed his laptop and lay down on his couch with a soft *flump*. He quickly typed in "The Jazz and AllyKat show" into the search engine and opened up the website for your interview, just in time for it to begin broadcasting live. He knew you wouldn't be visible, but he would be lying if he said he hadn't been waiting anxiously since they announced it two days ago.

He was interested in hearing more about you. Hearing your voice speaking instead of just singing. Hearing the passion and levels of expression you may portray. Do you have an accent? A high or low voice? A lisp or a stutter? A rasp? You were such a mystery to him and the world, yet your shared conversation over Instagram the other day was so heartfelt. He appreciated your candor and vulnerability, especially in show business.

He couldn't figure out why… but ever since he heard your song, he couldn't stop thinking about you. There was something about you that seemed to draw him in. He was impressed with your lyrics and swooned at your voice. That voice! But with everyone contemplating who you were and who you liked, Pedro didn't want to be another one of those people, making you feel pressured. But he was certainly curious. 

The video began and he listened intently, not wanting to miss a single word. When your voice chirped a hello to the interviewers and listeners, his heart skipped a beat. He swore it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard. He was drawn to you and wanted to learn anything he could, so he listened, trying to keep his breathing as silent as possible to not miss it. Why am I feeling like this? We've only had one conversation. Why am I so drawn to her, especially when she's already in love with someone?… he interrogated himself.

The interview discussed your favorite color, animals, and books, which Pedro vowed to read as soon as he could get to a bookstore. You listed off your favorite films and shows. However, although you had a great taste in cinema, he couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment that none of his roles were on your list. Clearly it's not you she loves, so you can put that out of your head now. He should feel relief, but instead he feels hollow at that realization.

When asked who your best friend is, you gush about your guy bff. You talk about how much you love him. How cute and sweet he is. Pedro can't help but feel a bit jealous of this guy who you love so much. But he listens on, his heart perking up and bubbling over when he hears you finally explain that your best friend is your dog.

Not only does she have a dog, but he's her best friend. And the way she talks about him is so…adorable, he thinks, gushing over your shared love of the fuzzy animals. He wonders what your dog's name and breed is, but you refuse to answer that question from the interviewers, for fear that someone may recognize his name and breed, tying him to you. The interviewers make a joke on your paranoia, which you ignore and Pedro scoffs at, their lack of understanding poking a protective instinct inside of him.

The conversation suddenly rolls into celebrity crushes and his chest tightens. But before they can ask you, he hears the air horn signaling the amount of viewers. Although he's disappointed to miss the potential answer you may have given, he also feels that strange protective feeling over you again, making him feel annoyed at the interviewers, knowing your desire for privacy. His thoughts only shift into a possessive manner for a millisecond before Ally proposes the possibility of your crush potentially listening to the show. His heart and emotions are on a bumpy roller coaster and he's practically jittery at the anticipation. He's leaning in to hear your answer when the door to his house barges open and a frustrated Oscar Isaac walks in, complaining in Spanish.

Startled, Pedro slams his laptop closed and flings it towards the coffee table, nearly spilling his drink. He yells questioningly, wondering why his best friend is barging into his home unannounced. Oscar is fully in the living room now, hands on his hips and ready to rant again. But before he has a chance to continue his argument with Pedro, he squints. His eyes look to the laptop, then to Pedro, now standing and looking frazzled after jolting up from the seat. He looks at Pedro's face again, eyebrow raised questioningly, and points to the laptop. "Were you watching porn?"

Pedro is dumbfounded, and if he wasn't on such high alert, he would've thought to lie and say he was watching porn. Instead he blurts "NO, I was not watching porn." It sounded like a lie. Oscar looks again from the laptop to Pedro, noticing his flushed cheeks and giving him a once over from head to toe, looking for any tells, other than the blush and the panic. "Yeah right, you slut. Let's see then."

Oscar reaches for the laptop, and Pedro grasps for it too, just a second behind. Too slow. Pedro argues "I wasn't. Not that it should matter, seeing as I'm in my own HOME… alone. Or should I say previously alone." Pedro throws his hands up in frustration. Oscar just laughs. "Okay let's see what you're so interested in then, that you don't even hear me knocking on your door or trying to contact you." He cracks open the computer.

"You're watching…an interview?" Oscar looks at Pedro, confused at why he would be so wigged out over a talk show. "I told you," Pedro replies, pointedly. Oscar glances back at the computer again, his brow suddenly relaxing and his lips turning into a mischievous smirk. "Ohh. I see… This is that girl you defended in your interview, huh? Someone got a little crush?" 

Pedro rolled his eyes and scoffed, trying to push away the warmth grazing his cheeks. "No. I don't have a crush. I was just looking for something to do and saw it pop up on my page…" Pedro rambled on, "plus it's just curious how much she's keeping a secret, you know? Everyone is wondering about these things." Oscar listened, amused, and Pedro continued. Please stop talking, Pedro thought to himself. "Plus I don't even know her. A crush? That's ridiculous."

"She doesn't know that guy in her song either and she managed a crush… and you defended it," Oscar said matter-of-factly. Pedro rolled his eyes, and Oscar continued. "Are you hoping her crush is on you?" 

Pedro sputtered out a quick answer. "Please. She sounds young... it's probably on someone like Harry Styles. Why would she have interest in an old man like me?" Oscar patted Pedro's shoulder. "You're too hard on yourself." Pedro ignored him and continued, "plus you know how I feel about relationships." 

"Yeah yeah…" Oscar continued in a mocking tone, hand pretending to be a sock puppet while he recited, "I don't have the time to properly grow a relationship, I don't want to get hurt, I'm focusing on my career…" Pedro ignored his mocking tone and simply agreed with the recitation. "Yes… now… Why did you feel the need to barge in here unexpectedly?"

"It wouldn't have been unexpected had you checked your messages. I texted you four times and even messaged your Instagram when I didn't get a reply," Oscar defended. 

"You know I'm not a texter," Pedro disputes.

"Yeah, no shit, abuelito. How many messages are unread on your phone? 600?" Oscar banters.

Pedro hastily defended himself. "No! I call them back! And abuelito!? Really?" He tuts. "You're not far behind me, pendejo. Plus you know I never check my Instagram messages either. I hardly even log on. You should've called me instead."

"I did. Twice. Anyway, I wanted to see if you were still available to watch the kids later. Buuuut, after not hearing back, I just decided to check on you. Glad to see you're alive, and clearly just distracted." Oscar wiggles his eyebrows.

Pedro crosses his arms, ignoring Oscar's last remark. "Yes, of course I'll watch the kids. Go enjoy yourselves!"

"Thanks P. You're the best… and I know I'm picking on you, but I just want you to be happy. I think if you like this girl you should try and talk to her. Dust off the cobwebs of your Instagram and actually message her or something."

I already have… Pedro thinks, running his thumb across his bottom lip. "Thanks, man."

Oscar left with a friendly pat on Pedro's shoulder. "See you later tonight then with the kids!"

Upon closing the door, Pedro sped over to his laptop again, hopeful that your interview hadn't ended yet. Fortunately for him, it was still recording. He hoped he hadn't missed anything.

The interviewer named Ally spoke. "Nice try. You know who we're trying to find out about. Has he, the man of your dreams and star of your lyrics, contacted you at all? Will we see a romance blooming?"

Pedro's heart pounded so loud he feared he would miss your answer. If she says yes… his mind entertains, not knowing the answer to the rest of that thought.

You spoke, hesitantly, and he felt the protective urge creep over him again. He wanted to know the answer but he hated hearing you uncomfortable . "I uh… I have received a lot of messages, some of them from celebrities."

He swallowed hard, his breath catching in his throat.

The interviewers replied excitedly. "Yeeeeaaaah?????"

There's a long pause. The silence is deafening, apart from the booming timpani of Pedro's heartbeat.

You answered, so softly he almost missed it. "Yes. We've talked."

He stopped breathing. 

"Did you tell him it was him? Did you admit you love him?"

"Absolutely not. It was just a nice conversation," you laughed.

We had a nice conversation…

"Will you tell us who he is? At least a description? An initial?" Jazzy asked, desperate for answers.

Ally chimed in "anything! We're starving here."

You giggled before answering. The most beautiful laugh he's ever heard. "I won't do that much, but I will say… he has brown curly hair... Gorgeous brown eyes… And he seems really funny and nice."

I have curly brown hair and brown eyes.. maybe it could be me, his heart offered the idea. I try my best to be funny and nice too.

It could also be Tom Holland. Or Dylan O'Brien. Or some other young actor, his self-doubt chimes in. But he also knew based on your eye color descriptor, that it wasn't Harry Styles, shutting down his earlier guess.

Ally lets out a huff. "That's a pretty broad answer but I guess it narrows out a few people.."

"Well we have another surprise. A way to narrow it down a little more…" Jazz proposes.

"Oh? What's that?" You replied. Pedro could hear the nervousness in your tone.

Jazz continued "I asked our tech to work his magic, and he managed to pull a list of our viewers during the highest number of people tuning in…"

Pedro's heart picked up speed.

"Then, since he's so good at working a computer, he was able to filter it further, running the names through the web and pulling out any celebrities. We have a list here and all you have to do is read through and say if he's on the list of viewers. The only ones who would know are the three of us. Of course if he's watching, he will also know if he's in the running or not."

You stuttered out, "o-okay.."

There was a long pause on your end while you read, and Jazz and Ally filled in the space with chatter.

Pedro sat, waiting nervously for your answer.

"Uhm… no. None of these names.." you finally answered.

His heart sank. It wasn't him. You didn't love him.

"That's disappointing," Ally answered. "I had really hoped he was listening. I'm sorry. I thought when we filtered through the viewers with our celebrity listener filter, we'd have some luck."

"It's okay.. he's probably busy or something.." you answered, though your disappointment was hard to hide. "Maybe he will listen later when he has time."

Pedro was logged in on his account. His name would've been on that list, and you just confirmed, without calling him out personally, that he wasn't the one you loved.

The interview soon ended and he closed his laptop with a sigh, flopping back onto his couch. He had hoped to message you and tell you he watched the video. But now he didn't see the point in it. You already knew he watched it, and you probably didn't care. He closed his eyes and eventually decided to try and ignore his feelings. You don't even know her. Don't be stupid. It's just a crush.. a stupid, hopeless crush..

Looking out the window, Pedro noticed the sun setting outside and glanced at the clock on his stove. Realizing Oscar would be back soon with the kids, he decided he needed to snap out of it. Put on a happy face before babysitting duty. He began straightening up the house and getting things ready before finally turning on a cartoon movie just in time for them to arrive. 

Oscar greeted him, and sat the kids in front of the movie. He knew his friend well enough to see through his smile and know he was upset about something. But he also could tell Pedro needed some space to sort things out in his mind first before he was ready to talk. So he left the kids with a profuse thank you, and headed out the door, leaving Pedro alone with his thoughts and two small bundles of energy.

Unbeknownst to Pedro, you looked through the list of celebrity viewers, scanning for his name. But thanks to his friend's intrusion, at the time that they filtered the list, he was disconnected from the live video. He wasn't on the list you saw.

Kept busy with the kids, it wasn't until they were back home with their parents that Pedro was forced to think about his feelings. Maybe he would still message you either way. You probably needed more friends and allies in this business, and he did enjoy talking to you, even if he wasn't the one you loved. If you didn't want to form a friendship with him back, that was fine too. But he would try. Still, his disappointment was settling in his heart. He didn't realize how much he was starting to care about you until you said he wasn't on that list.

So with the shared belief that neither of you cared about one another, you both went to bed, you both felt heavy in your hearts, and you both couldn't help but feel light tears spilling onto your cheeks as sleep eventually took over.

Equally unknown to you, he was watching, and he planned to watch it again when the video was posted, just to hear you talk a little bit longer. Just to learn more about you. Learn the tiny personality quirks he could pick out from your voice. Things that make you who you are, until maybe he could meet you in person. 

That's all for this chapter!! Thank you again for reading and let me know what you think.

Looking for the next chapter? Here!

Taglist: (Let me know if you want in!)

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson

[yoonlattesworld]

Hi:)

I love your writings 💞

Can you do a very shy reader interrupting yoongi's vlive?

Shy and innocent-MYG

Idol yoongi x shy reader

Synopsis: he wanted to hide you from the harsh world filled of envy and hatred. But soon he realized that it was time to face the world together. So why not start with a live filled with millions of people?

Genre: soft fluff, teeny tiny angst

Warnings: none but my cutie patootie shy mc and her cutie patootie loving boyfie.

Main masterlist

Yoongi masterlist

A/n: hello my lovie I'm so sorry it took so long but i hope you like it! And thank you very much 💖

Author's pov

You sighed for the nth time as you tossed on yoongi's side of bed hoping his scent would help you sleep but although it gave you a sense of comfort, the sweet slumber never came.

You were slowly starting to feel annoyed because half an hour ago you were feeling so sleepy you almost fell asleep on the dining table so yoongi told you to take a nap which you were very much looking forward to. But the moment you laid on the bed, all the sleepiness disappeared and you were suddenly wide awake.

You assumed you'd pass out the moment your head hit the pillow because of how many you woke up last time. Maybe you knew what would help you sleep but you didn't have the heart to disturb him.

Although he has told you many times before that you never have to hesitate to enter his studio if you need him for anything. He reminds you many times that you can freely call him and he would leave everything pending just to hold you if you want. But even after dating for almost a year, the shyness in your voice while asking for something never disappeared.

You've been shy ever since you can remember. Hell you'd even think twice before asking something from your parents because you didn't want to bother them. That's the reason you've been laying on the bed wide awake since almost 45 minutes because you were too shy to ask him to come and hold you. Sometimes it became very frustrating to overthink every possible scenario before asking for something.

You have no idea how can yoongi be so patient with you when you'd beat around the bush half the time before finally saying what you wanted to. But yoongi has no problem with it. He has made it clear many times that he finds your shyness endearing. He thinks your eyes resemble of an innocent puppy's.

Kicking your legs in frustration you pouted as you yanked the blanket off of your body, suddenly feeling a little too warm. Should you go to his studio? What of he's working? What if he gets mad at you for disturbing him? No he wouldn't get mad right? It didn't help that you were feeling sick since yesterday. You'd get extra clingy whenever you were sick.

Flopping back on the bed you whined quietly.

~▪︎~

Yoongi leaned back on his chair with a small sigh when his eyes caught another 'yoongi marry me comment' he hid a smile behind his hand as he thought of how many marriage proposals he had gotten in the last year. Leaning forward, he squinted his eyes to read the comments which were flowing a little too fast "i can't read the comments when they're going so fast" he rasped, his voice deep and the small chuckle leaving his lips even deeper as he saw a few more marriage proposals.

'I already have someone i want to marry' he thought to himself as he talked about random things to entertain the millions of armies watching. Sometimes he wondered if his and the other member's lives were boring or not. But hell millions of people watched jungkook Wash dishes so he assumed talking and replying to comments won't bore anyone.

"Yoongi oppa what do you like in a girl?" He mumbled before humming deeply as your smiling face popped in his mind. "I don't know maybe i like a simple girl who shares my interest in music?" He questioned 'i like the innocent shyness in a certain girl'

He smiled fondly as the image of you shyly kissing him goodbye before he went to work, came in his mind. He almost started talking about you when an army commented "do you like shy girls, or bold girls?" And this wasn't the first time it happened.

There's been many times when he has almost started rambling about you,his hidden girlfriend. Sometimes he wants to hide you in his arms, and keep you to himself so you wouldn't have to get hurt from the harsh world. But there are times when he wants to show you off to the whole world. Show that you're the only girl he loves. Of course armies are a very precious part of his life. But he wants to show everyone that no rumored female idol or actress can take your place.

He knows that the countless articles about him rumoured with an idol bothers you but you've never once questioned him. He knows that you have your full trust In him but he also knows that you try to hide your sadness in front of him when your eyes catch another useless article. He knows that you want to be able to go outside freely without any fear of someone seeing you both. He wants nothing more than that either. But he also knows the dark side of this world which is filled with envy no hatred. He knows what the feeling of getting constant hate can do. He has experienced it and he never ever wants you to experience the same thing.

Hell he's willing to carry all the hate on himself alone just so it wouldn't reach you. That's why even after being together for almost a year, he's still not ready to reveal you to the harsh world. He's aware that the true armies will love and accept you for who you are. But still he can't help but worry-

"yoongi?" his eyes snapped up towards the door when the softest whisper reached his ears. He momentarily forgot about the curious fans watching him when his eyes took you in.

It felt like he fell in love with you all over again.

You looked like an angel, peeking from the door, just wearing one of his oversized white hoodie. It was big on him so obviously it was huge on you. Your pretty long hair seemed a little messed up and he assumed you had been tossing around on the bed. You smiled shyly which lifted his lips in his own soft smile.

Looks like you both hadn't realised that he was still live and the comment section was flooding.

Bts.love: why are you smiling?

Purple/girl: what is he looking at?

Bangtanlove: someone is there with him

"hi" you whispered giving him a little wave to which he extended his hand towards you, mumbling "hey doll, what's wrong" you shaked your head and pushed some hair out of your face as you stopped forward and took his hand, allowing him to pull you towards himself.

Again the comments went crazy

Meow: who is doll??

Certainarmygirl: OMG HE'S HOLDING SOME ONE'S HAND

Kookiegirl: yoongi?!?

"nothing's wrong I just missed you" you said shyly as you stepped in between his legs. His hands found their place on your soft bare thighs and he gave them a soft squeeze, completely unaware that people could see you. Well not your face because you were standing but it didn't take long to understand that a girl was standing In between their beloved idol, yoongi's legs, wearing yoongi's hoodie and playing with yoongi's hair while said yoongi looked up at you like you held the world in your arms. Again completely unaware that millions of people were going crazy at the moment.

Yoongi'swife: h-he has a girlfriend

Yoongimarryme: goodbye time to leave and become a saint

"I missed you too babygirl" he rasped taking your hand and pressing soft kisses on the tips of your fingers causing you to giggle softly when something moving on the laptop caught your eye. The said something moving being the comment section. Your eyes widened as you realised that the live was on and people could see him holding you "oh my god" you gasped taking your hand away from his hold and stumbling back until you were out of the view.

Yoongi looked at you with wide eyes as you pressed a hand over your mouth and pointed at the open laptop "wha-" oh. Yoongi blinked at the laptop realising that he was now looking at not 5 million but 13 million people. How in the world did it get to that point in 5 minutes??

"what do we do now?" you whisper yelled, watching yoongi sighing and burying his face in his hands for a second but taking a deep breath and looking the laptop again. While you were freaking out thinking of every possible outcome, yoongi was as calm as ever. "well" he cleared his throat before looking at you with a low chuckle "come here doll"

Your eyes widened even more than before. He must be kidding right? You shook your head rapidly only for him to raise an eyebrow "come here. Everything will be fine" he mouthed, his eyes determined and full of love. You hesitated for a moment before taking a small step ahead until you were yoongi's reach and he pulled you on his lap.

"oh god" you whispered as he wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed your head "army" he smiled "meet my girlfriend"

You were almost shocked at fast the comment section exploded. Almost because right now you were shocked because yoongi suddenly announced that he is in a relationship. Looking up at him he mumbled something about not being able to read the comments and you whispered "I'm sorry I didn't knew you were live"

Looking at you with a soft smile he mumbled "it's okay doll. I wanted to do this since a while. You gave me another reason to" you smiled slightly as he leaned down to press a soft kiss on your lips "now answer the questions angel. It seems like they're now here for you" he chuckled as you smiled nervously seeing all the questions flooding in.

"isn't she lovely?" yoongi grinned as you shyly waved at the camera "hi I'm an army like you all too" you smiled "it's nice to meet you, my name is y/n"

Sugagirl: you're so pretty!

Btsarmy: yoongi how can you do this to us?! 😭

Certaincat: at least I can get a partner now that he's not single

Of course there were a few questionable comments too but yoongi didn't give you a chance to see them.

Yoongi sighed, leaning back against his chair and watching as you continued chatting with the fans as if you all were life long friends. Well now no one wants to see him I guess.

Kissing the back of your head he rested his hand on your bare thigh, as he whispered "I love you doll" you looked at him for a second as you smiled softly "I love you too"

Thank god weverse didn't have an option of sending voice recording because somehow, people were squealing in the comments so what would happen if there was a recorder?

•...•

Taglist

@bunnyrhe @yoonaasa @rosquilleta @raineandskye @shymagda-7 @creatorspalace @iheartsvt @xmochiloverx @kyojuro-ska @meow-min @kissme-ornot @wobblewobble822 @kookieaddicted96 @thelilbutifulthings

[bradshawsbaby]

Letters to My Love // Part III

Blue Moon

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Bob Floyd x Female Reader

Summary: When you signed up to volunteer with the USO, you never anticipated that you would meet a man like Ensign Robert Floyd. Fate brings you together one balmy spring evening in Charleston—the night before Bob is set to ship off across the Atlantic. Pen and paper become your only means of sharing your heart with the naval aviator who’s captivated it, igniting a correspondence that spans the distance between you. Can love blossom even as war rages and thousands of miles keep you apart?

Word Count: 2.8k

Author’s Note: I’m making a serious effort to be as historically accurate as possible in each of these letters, but I also realize that I may reference things that some people are unfamiliar with or confused about. I’d be happy to answer any questions about the time period if you have them!

Set the Mood: If you’re looking for some 1940s vibes, check out the playlist I made to pair with the story!

Song(s) referenced in this chapter: Chattanooga Choo Choo // Blue Moon

Dedication: As always, dedicated to my sweet friend, @luminousnotmatter​, as well as everyone who has offered such lovely support for this series!

Warnings: Alternating POV, references to war and its impact, allusions to rationing, plenty of fluff.

July 6, 1942

Dear Peach,

Is it alright if I call you Peach? I suppose being in and around the Navy for as long as I have, I’ve become sort of used to the notion of nicknames. We’ve got one for everyone around here, and Peach just seems to suit you. I admit, it’s how I’ve come to think of you. But if you don’t like it—or if it seems too familiar for me to be calling you a silly nickname—you let me know right away and I’ll be sure not to do it again.

Gosh, I can’t tell you how happy it made me to receive your letter. Mail Call is always a good day—you should see the smiles around here when the fellas get letters from their sweethearts and families. But it felt a hundred times better the day I got your letter. Benny was about ready to tear it out of my hands and open it himself, and Tommy Boy wasn’t too far behind. Paul practically had to knock their heads together so that I could have a little peace. I kept it in my pocket and saved it to read until after dinner that night. Let me tell you, it was certainly sweeter than any dessert they could cook up in the mess (although, admittedly, their dessert could use some work, even on a good day).

I’m sorry that it took me so long to write back. You wouldn’t believe this, Peach, but they’ve really got us working hard over here. It’s almost like there’s a war on or something.

I’m sorry, was that a terrible thing to say? I don’t mean to make light of it. None of us do. But I think we’ve found that if we look for a little bit of levity every now and then, it makes this whole thing a bit easier to bear. We haven’t been here long, but we’ve already seen and heard things we’d rather not remember. So we look for the good where we can find it—like Mail Call, when we get special letters from lovely girls back home, just like you.

To answer your question, I’m doing just fine. I suppose I won’t try to get one past the Office of Censorship this time around, but we’re still in the same region of Europe and expect to be so for the foreseeable future. I wish that I could paint you a beautiful picture of what life is like here, but it’s rather bleak at the moment. You can still see the pockets of beauty though—I’m sure it was a wonderful place before this war. I hope that one day, it will be again.

But I’m sure you don’t want to hear me ramble on about the sad state of the world right now. Should we talk about something happier? How was your Fourth of July? I hope it was swell. I admit, my mouth was watering a bit the other day when I thought about all the things my mother always makes to celebrate. I’ll never know how she manages to get it all done, but she prepares a feast for us every year. My favorite part has to be her apple cobbler—drop a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top, and I swear, it’s heaven. All of us were missing home a little extra this Independence Day, so we ended up swapping stories of home and all the ways our families celebrate. I have to say, it did help to dull some of the homesickness. Tommy Boy had us all dreaming about parades marching through town, and Benny couldn’t stop talking about his mother’s berry icebox cake. We made him promise that when this is all over, he’ll have us as dinner guests so that we can sample it for ourselves. Do you have any special Fourth of July traditions?

Speaking of families and traditions, I’m so glad to hear that Paddy, Dottie, and little Frankie are doing well. Although I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting your sister, from everything you’ve told me, it does sound like Paddy has found his perfect match. She sounds like a woman who can certainly keep him on his toes. By the way, please let Paddy know that we all played a rousing game of Rummy in his honor. We look forward to getting to play with him again when we get home.

Gosh, there’s just so much I want to say. But it’s kind of hard, isn’t it? Knowing the right things to say, I mean. I’ve always been kind of amazed at how eloquent people’s letters can be. Mine sort of just end up coming out like a jumbled mess. It’s like I want to tell you everything that crosses my mind—as if we were sitting on that bench together on King Street—but I can’t think of a proper way to do it. So I apologize now if this letter is horribly scatter-brained and messy. I’ll try my very best to be more organized in the future.

What I do have to tell you—and I should have said it earlier—is how much I appreciated your lovely description of your day back in Charleston. Unfortunately, it was rainy and gray here the day I received your letter, but reading your words made it feel as though the warm southern sunshine had been delivered right to us. I hope you don’t mind, but I read that part of your letter to some of the other fellas. They really appreciated it. They’re also very grateful to know that you’re thinking of us and wishing us all the best. So am I. It gives us the boost we need when the days get hard.

Nothing would make me happier than the thought of you saving a dance for me. Maybe next time, I’ll even get to hear that pretty singing voice of yours. I know you said I couldn’t be certain that you were a good singer because you were just humming, but trust me—I know. We listen to music over here sometimes when we’re able, but I do admit it’d be much more fun to be listening to it at another USO dance. Sometimes I’ll hear a song that played that night, and it makes me smile.

Anyway, they’re calling us now, and I should probably stop running my mouth so much. It’s funny—I’ve never been much of a talker (just ask Paul), but with you, I feel like I could write pages and pages, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

I hope this letter hasn’t bored you to tears, and I do hope to hear from you again soon. Thanks for sending along the sunshine.

Sincerely Yours,

Bobby

July 22, 1942

Dear Bobby,

Peach is just fine! It’s lovely, in fact. I’ve never had a nickname just for me before, so that one makes me feel quite special. On top of that, it’s also officially Dottie-approved. She insists she only happened to glance over and “accidentally” catch sight of the beginning of your letter, but I think she may have just been snooping. See? I told you she’d get on wonderfully with Benny and Tommy Boy.

Mail Call sounds like a wonderful day for all of you. The USO has been reminding us how important letter writing can be. They’ve been saying how much it boosts morale for our boys overseas, and clearly they were right. I’m touched that my letter seemed to mean so much. If it really does brighten your day, then I’d be happy to write hundreds of letters. I’m not so sure my words are really sweeter than ice cream or pie, but I will try my hardest.

You don’t have to apologize! I can only begin to imagine what it must be like for you over there. As happy as I am to receive your letters and to know that you’re doing alright, I understand that it may take a while for you to be able to write me. And you most certainly don’t need to apologize for trying to do what you can to preserve your peace of mind. My heart breaks to think what you and your friends, and all the other men over there fighting, have already seen and experienced. They say war is hell, and I absolutely believe it. I could never dream of being even half as brave as you are, Bobby. I mean that. If your heart ever feels heavy with all the burdens you have to carry, please know that you can lay it down with me. I’m more than happy to listen. I know that I won’t have all the answers—who does?—but I’ll always try my hardest to help you carry the load as best I can.

I’ve never been to Europe before, but my parents went to Paris for their honeymoon back in 1916, and my mother still talks about how beautiful and magical it was. It makes me so sad to think that countries that were once so full of life and art and beauty and culture have been reduced to war-torn husks. Like you, I have hope that one day very soon, this horrible war will be behind us and all those wonderful places will be filled with magic once more. And maybe one day in the future, I’ll get to travel there. I’d like that very much.

My Fourth of July was very nice! I have to admit, reading about your mother’s apple cobbler and Benny’s mother’s icebox cake had MY mouth watering. There must just be something about mothers because my mama also LOVES baking up a storm to celebrate Independence Day. One of her favorite desserts to make is—can you believe it?—peach tarts! Maybe we can convince our mothers to swap recipes.

This is the first Fourth of July that I haven’t celebrated with my parents back home in Georgia, but Paddy, Dottie, Frankie, and I had a wonderful day. It was Frankie’s first, so we took him to the parade in town, though I think he would have been more than happy to stay home. Poor baby is teething, and he’s been downright miserable some days. I’m sure Paul knows what that’s like, and I’m sure Natasha is dealing with the same with Paul, Jr. right now. It’s hard to watch him suffer—I know it just about kills Dottie.

Speaking of Dottie, she was rather upset that her baking plans got a bit derailed by our ration cards. I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but sugar is being rationed now. We pooled together as many ration cards as we could save, but there’s been such a demand for it that there was hardly any to be found. We settled on a simple pound cake with strawberries, which Dottie wasn’t happy about, but Paddy made sure to cheer her up by making a big show about how it was the best pound cake he’d ever tasted. Personally, I do think it could have used more sugar, but please don’t tell Dottie that I said that.

Thankfully, Frankie took a good nap that day, so he was in much better spirits by the time the fireworks went off. We went down by the water to watch them, and he was mesmerized. I enjoyed them, too, but it felt sort of strange to be having such a nice day when I thought of you and all the other men who have gone off to fight for us. It felt wrong somehow to be celebrating as though there wasn’t a terrible war waging halfway across the world, a war that’s been taking more and more of our men every day. But Paddy helped to put it into perspective for me slightly. He said that the men who are over there fighting—men like you, Bobby—are doing so precisely so that the rest of us can enjoy these freedoms. He said that, if it were him, he’d be happy to know that we were safe and still getting the chance to celebrate our independence. Was he right, Bobby? I hope it doesn’t feel like rubbing salt in a wound, me telling you about our Fourth of July.

Can I tell you something? I think Paddy’s been having a hard time wrestling with the fact that his job allows him to remain stateside during the war. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but I heard him and Dottie sitting up in the kitchen one night, talking. I think he feels a bit guilty, being a part of the Navy, but not having to go fight the same way you all are. Dottie has been trying so hard to reassure him, but I noticed that he’s been working even longer hours now—he wants to do whatever he can for the war effort, and to help bring you boys home as quickly as he can. That’s what we’re all hoping for.

I have to admit, I giggled a little bit when I read the part of your letter about feeling like what you write is a jumbled mess. I feel the same. It’s a little tricky to have a conversation on paper, isn’t it? It’s much easier when you’re sitting face to face. Tell you what? I’ll forgive your messiness, if you forgive mine. Does that sound like a deal?

Oh, I’m so glad to hear that the talk of sunshine made you happy, even on a gray and rainy day. And I’m happy that your friends enjoyed it, too. Would you say hello to Paul for me? I’m not sure if he even remembers me, but I’m still so grateful for his kindness at the dance. Maybe say hi to Tommy Boy and Benny for me, too? Even though I haven’t met them officially, I feel like I know them so well through your stories about them.

I’m not sure about where you are, but it’s brutally hot here in Charleston now. Still sunny though, so I’m picturing scooping some of it up and sending it your way. Unless we have errands to run, Dottie and I have been staying mainly inside with the baby. I know we’re supposed to be conserving as much power as possible, but Dottie doesn’t care a fig if there’s a war on when it’s this hot—she’s got all the fans running on full blast. I hope wherever you are, you’re able to keep cool.

I have to say, Ensign Floyd, you really are going to give me a big head one of these days. I assure you that I am not as talented a singer as you seem to think I am, but perhaps I’d be willing to sing along to one song at the next dance we attend. But you have to promise not to laugh when you discover I’m terrible at it. Humming, I promise you, is very different from singing.

Now that I’m on the topic of music, however, I wanted to mention that every time Dottie puts on one of her Glenn Miller records, I think of you and your mother. I know you said she was a big Glenn Miller fan, and I like to think that maybe somewhere in Iowa, she’s listening to “Chattanooga Choo Choo,” same as us.

Just last night, while we were cleaning the kitchen, Dottie and I were listening to the radio and “Blue Moon” came on. Do you know that one? The Al Bowlly song? I think he has such a lovely voice. Anyway, I was listening to the song while I was washing the dishes and it got me thinking about the moon. Gosh, that sounds so silly now that I actually write it out. But it’s true. I was thinking about the moon, and it struck me that the moon that was shining down on me was the same moon that was shining down on you. Even though I don’t even know exactly where in the world you are, when I look up at the moon at night, I can be sure that it’s the very same moon that you’re looking at. I don’t know, maybe it’s silly, but it kind of brought me some comfort. Does that sound horribly hokey? I’m sorry if it does. Maybe if it doesn’t strike you as too terribly sentimental, you can share it with Paul the next time he’s feeling down about missing Natasha and the kids. This war might be keeping us all apart, but at night, when we look up at the moon, we can remember that we’re not so far apart as it seems.

Your letter certainly didn’t bore me to tears, Bobby. On the contrary, it made my day. Now I just hope that MY letter doesn’t bore YOU to tears. Maybe when all this is over, you and I will feel more confident in our letter-writing abilities. I certainly do hope that’s the case.

Stay safe, Bobby. Sending you all my very best.

Sincerely,

Peach

[jacksgreysays]

"soldier, poet, king" + POV of team 7 from someone in the far future, maybe through the lens of a distant descendant build off surviving myths and historical texts

Dear anon, I hope you don’t mind, but I took a gentle step sideways and backwards with this prompt. In my search for all of the royalty!AU posts, I refreshed my memory about Foundation of Yesterday in which DoS/the Elemental Nations is the extremely distant past of FFVII. Coupled with the SOLDIERs of FFVII and my assigning of which member of Team Seven corresponds to which character of FFVII, I think it all combines well with your prompt. Additionally, I couldn’t tell which members of Team Seven I would assign soldier, poet, and king. But it was easy for me to assign solider, poet, and king to their FFVII descendants and then reverse engineer from there. So we get Cloud, obvious Soldier, descendant of blue-eyed blonde, storm and strife. Yuffie as King, inheriting a pendant that summons a sleeping goddess in times of need. And Vincent is less obvious as Poet, but you can probably get into a sort of meditative philosophizing of working for tyrants and falling in love with a scientist only for her to betray you and then going into hibernation and maybe meeting your distant ancestor who is Chaos? Unfortunately, I don’t actually know that much about FFVII—as I’ve never played it, nor the remake—except for what I’ve gleaned from fanfiction and cultural osmosis, lol. And then this does get into the problem, similar to the Fear to Tread (a world unseen) post in that the primary setting/POV of the fic WOULD be the world/characters that I am less accustomed to writing and then making up the history of the world between the events of DoS and FFVII. So I’m going to continue with my gentle sideways and backwards steps and give you this, instead:

~

(king)

When Yuffie finally activates the strange summon materia she inherited from her father, everything goes dark. At first she panics—maybe something went wrong? did she not have enough mana? was she cursed with blindness?—but then little pin pricks of light appear, like distant stars coming ever closer.

She doesn’t see what the summon does exactly, the battle ends so quickly after that, but that doesn’t matter too much considering the summon just… doesn’t leave.

The Shikabane-hime—once the tendrils of star-filled shadows have done their damage and tucked themselves away out of existence—looks human. Like one of Yuffie’s people, a girl far from home, displaced from Wutai, just like her.

But as the other members of the party shift and stare, uncertain as to what it happening, she remembers who exactly she’s looking at. What she is looking at, that is: a summon, inherited from her father, who only showed up now after her homeland has been ruined by ShinRa.

Later, when they have made camp for the night, when the Shikabane-hime has still not disappeared, even though Yuffie’s original mana offering should have long run out, she confronts the summon.

“Where were you?” Yuffie asks in Wutaian so the others can’t understand her. She tries to make it accusatory, tries to sound authoritative, like a proper Princess of Wutai, but she’s afraid it comes out more hurt, plaintive, like a child who realizes that legends are nothing more than stories, than lies. Like the legend that the Shikabane-hime would come in Wutai’s time of need.

The Shikabane-hime tilts its head, gaze sharp but not unkind. Yuffie thinks for a moment, perhaps it can’t understand her, what language do summons speak? Please not Midgarish.

But then the Shikabane-hime answers, “Your father never called for me.” Its gaze, somehow, becoming sharper but also more kind. Concerned, maybe. “Perhaps he did not believe. Perhaps it was not enough of a threat.”

“Not enough of a threat?” Yuffie shouts.

The rest of the party turn their way, hands on their weapons, except for Vincent whose attention had been on the Shikabane-hime the whole time. He waves them off and the others, with reluctance, stand down.

“What do you mean not enough of a threat? ShinRa invaded our homeland. It is a shell of itself! My father—” she cuts herself off before she can say anything else. Before she can realize what else in her childhood is a story, a lie.

“In the future, you will reclaim it, rebuild it,” the Shikabane-hime says, too casual for a command, too simple for a prophecy. “But first, we must ensure there is a future.”

—

(poet)

When Shikako meets the almost familiar red eyes of Vincent Valentine, she does not say the following:

Is he doing okay in there? How did he manage to survive so long? If you could let him know I’m sorry, I miss him. Tell him thank you from me for holding on so long. Too long. Tell him he can let go, that he doesn’t have to stay if it hurts. If he needs to move on, it’s okay. I’ll meet him there when I’m done. And I’ll bring Naruto with me. You can rest now, Sasuke, I’m here now. I’ll see you soon.

When Vincent looks at the Shikabane-hime—

(Kako, Yuffie introduces it as, trying to play it off as just a late coming fellow Wutaian. If the other members of the party make the connection between the godly manifestation of starlit shadows and the normal looking woman following them blandly, they aren’t making a fuss about it, so neither will Vincent.)

—the Chaos inside of him settles into peace.

—

(soldier)

“You resemble your ancestor quite a bit,” Kako says to Cloud during a quiet stretch of their travels. It is the first thing she says to him.

Cloud nods, because what else can he do in response to that—

(Of course nobody believes that Kako is just a normal Wutaian woman, but they’re up against the biggest superpower in the world and also an ancient evil and also an undying Sephiroth while the Planet riots in its attempt to save itself, like a fever willing to burn everything up to stave off the infection.

They’ll take any help they can get, imposter or no. And it’s not as if he has room to talk about that anyway.)

—but he does notice that her eyes are closed as she says this, implying her remark isn’t about a visual resemblance but something else, something deeper.

“He was named after a storm,” she says, and for once her tone changes, the apathy gently flavored with fondness, “but he was truly more like the sun.” Her expression, too, shifts: a small, sad smile gracing her face.

And because Cloud knows what it’s like to lose someone you admired—in both ways, the aching grief of losing an admired person, and the sharp lance of a hero no longer being admirable—he asks her, stumbling “Were you—did you know them well?”

Her eyes open at this, an assessing glance sent his way. Her smile melts away, as if it had never been.

“Yes,” she says, tone flattened once more. “He was a good man and the Planet turned him into a WEAPON.”

Cloud startles. He looks to Aerith as he does whenever Planet and Cetra stuff are brought up, but he finds her face turned away, as if guilty, not wanting to meet his or Kako’s eyes.

“But no need to worry,” Kako says, voice not so much reassuring as it is grimly determined. “I will ensure you do not follow his path too closely.”

[leatherwhing]

Buddie (One-Shot)

So I ended up writing a Buddie one-shot. Here ya go.

Disclaimer:

This is an AU fanfic one-shot so not everything is accurately based on the show. Not that good though as it's been years since the last time I wrote anything. Haha. I hope you like it, still.

It's in Buck's POV so I didn't go much into Eddie's perspective and realization journey.

---

"So, how's things with Tommy?" Maddie asks Buck as they both sit down at the table.

"Uh...it didn't work out," Buck answers, avoiding looking at Maddie as he places food on his plate.

Maddie, though not entirely surprised, still the news is new to her as she thought that Buck and Tommy would go on for a little bit longer.

"Buck, what happened? What did you do?"

This time, Buck looks at Maddie with a disappointed look on his face, and says, "So, whenever a relationship of mine fails, your first assumption is that I was the one who fucked it up?"

"Well, no. But it's just that Tommy seems a really nice guy and, like, you were both kinda into each other."

"Yeah, well, he's really nice and I like him and he likes me, but...I guess you're right, I was the one who did something wrong."

"Okay, now, so what did you do?"

"It's not exactly what I did but something that I didn't really realize until Tommy pointed it out to me."

"Oh, for god's sake, Buck, spill it."

"I'm in love with Eddie..." Buck quietly said as if he's telling himself that. But it is the first time he has admitted it - that he tells himself it and believes it. It is the first time that he finally acknowledges his feelings for Eddie and knows they're real and he accepts it.

"Finally. Took you long enough," Maddie comments, making Buck look at her with surprise written all over his face.

"You knew?" Buck asks his sister in disbelief.

"Well, yeah. It's pretty much obvious."

"And you didn't care to tell me? "

"Buck, I know I'm your sister and I am always willing to help you and do things for you, but this is not something that I should have done for you."

"You could've just at least told me what was 'obvious.'"

"I was always dropping hints, you know. You were just too oblivious to your actual feelings for him. And I shouldn't just tell you you're in love with your best friend when you haven't even come to terms with yourself yet. I know you really don't brush it off when I joke about you being attracted to men, but have you really acknowledged that with yourself?"

Buck didn't answer, because it's already pretty obvious what the answer is.

"Exactly," Maddie says, accepting the silent answer. "You needed to realize first who you are, Buck, on your own, before you deal with your feelings for Eddie."

Buck sighs, "Yeah, you're right."

"Well, you did great, Buck, in figuring out who you really are and I'm so proud of you. Even though you almost deeply embarrassed yourself in the process and injured Eddie."

Buck tightly smiles.

"So, what do you plan on doing?"

"About what?"

"About your feelings with Eddie. I mean, it took you YEARS to realize that, and now that you do, what are planning on doing? Are you gonna tell him?"

"What? No! He's with Marisol and I don't think Eddie will ever be into a guy, much less me."

"Hmm-mmm," Maddie responds with a knowing look and an eyebrow raised.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, Buck. Eddie and you really need some sense knocked into you - HARD. You two are inseparable. You always have your own world. You have things that only you two know and do together. Something happens to one of you, the first person you go to is each other. You understand each other like no other people can. I mean I'm your sister but Eddie knows how to handle you better than me. And hell, you are even raising Christopher together. Eddie's not just doing this whole parenting thing alone because you two are already doing it. You are even the first person Christopher runs to if something happens with him and Eddie. You're practically his second dad."

"You know, that's pretty much what Tommy also told me. The whole co-parenting Christopher thing with Eddie. But well, I'm his legal guardian so might as well start now, right?"

"Legal guardian?!" Maddie asks clearly surprised by this news as Buck never mentioned this to her before.

"Well, Eddie listed me to be Chris' legal guardian in case something happens to him. But let's hope that will never happen."

"How come I just know about this now?"

"Well, I don't think that it should be announced to everyone. I mean, it's something between me and Eddie."

"See what I'm talking about?"

"No, I don't, Maddie. What's your point?"

"My point is you and Eddie have been so into each other ever since you met but it's either you two are in denial or too stupid to realize it. Well, in your case, most likely the second one since Tommy had to point it out to you for you to realize it."

Buck laughs humorlessly, not believing Maddie about Eddie also having feelings for him. "I am telling you, Maddie. You are wrong about Eddie."

"Well, there's only one way to find out, right? Tell him how you feel."

"He's with Marisol. He's happy with his relationship now. I can't just ruin that for him."

"You'll never know, Buck, unless you try."

---

Buck is cooking when suddenly there is a knock on his door. Wondering who might it be as he's not expecting any guests, he goes over to it and is surprised to see Eddie standing on the other side with a frustrated look on his face.

"Marisol and I broke up," Eddie says, stepping inside Buck's apartment before Buck can even say anything.

Buck closes the door and asks, "What happened? I thought things were going great?"

"I thought so too," Eddie says, going to Buck's fridge and getting himself a beer. He opens the bottle and leans against the counter as he continues, "But it turns out, it's not. I mean, she's great. She loves Christopher. But I just feel like that's there's something missing, you know. I like her. But not enough for me to stay in the relationship."

"Hold on, Eds. What exactly happened that led to this break-up? This is not Ana 2.0, right?"

Eddie looks at Buck then sighs and says, "She said 'I love you' and I just couldn't say it back. I don't wanna lie, Buck."

"Oh..."

"Yeah. Well, at least one of us has it going good."

"Actually, Tommy and I...it didn't work out."

"What?!"

"Yeah..."

"What happened?"

"I realized I wasn't into him like I thought I was. Well, after he pointed it out to me."

"He told you that you were not into him?" Eddie asks, confused.

"No. He told me that I'm already in love with someone else."

"Who? Is there something that you weren't telling me?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why? Buck, it's me. We tell each other everything."

"Not this one, Eds."

Eddie gives him a look of being offended and says, "So when I am the one keeping something from you, you won't stop nagging at me until I tell you what it is, but here you are, huh?"

"I don't nag at you, you know. I just persuade you into telling me."

"And yet, I still tell you. But you just won't. That's unfair, Buck."

"I'm sorry, Eds. I just can't tell you this one."

"Why? Do I know that person? Do you think I will judge you?"

"No."

"Then tell me who it is."

"No."

"Come on, Buck. Tell me. Maybe I can help you with it."

Buck chuckles, "No, I can't tell you."

"You can't see Christopher for a week if you won't tell me."

"Oh, come on, Eddie, that's not fair."

"You're the one who's not being fair. Why don't you just tell me who it is that you're in love with and you keep your rights of seeing Christopher every day."

"You can't do this, Eddie."

"I can and I just did. So it's your choice, Buckley."

"I really can't tell you."

"Okay, then. No Christopher for a week."

Frustrated, Buck says, "You can't just use your son to extort me."

"Then, tell me. Come on, Evan. Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me."

Now, even more frustrated and with Maddie's words repeating in his head, Buck lets out a sigh as he says, "Fine." Then he walks over to Eddie, grabs his face, and crashes his lips against his.

To say Eddie is caught off guard is an understatement. His eyes are wide and he froze on where he is standing. He even almost dropped the bottle of beer in his hand.

"Happy now?" Buck asks as he pulls away and looks at Eddie who stares at him in shock. Buck drops his hands and steps back a bit.

As Eddie recovers from his shock, he puts the bottle down on the counter, and without a word, he walks out of the apartment, leaving Buck standing in the middle of his kitchen alone.

---

"I took your advice - kinda - and I'm pretty sure I just ruined my friendship with Eddie forever. I may not even be able to see Christopher ever again," Buck tells Maddie over the phone.

Ever since Eddie left him the night before, they have never talked. Eddie never called or even just texted him and Buck just doesn't have the nerve to reach out to Eddie after what he did.

"I'm sorry, Buck," was all Maddie can say.

"Well, you're still right. I will never know unless I try, and I did, and now I know."

"Have you tried reaching out to him?"

"And say what? 'I'm sorry I kissed you and I'm in love with you?'"

"Well, you can't just avoid each other forever because of one kiss. You two need to talk about it and move past it. You still work together, Buck. It will just be awkward if you don't fix this now, and everyone will notice it."

"But, I'm scared, Mads."

"But you have to. And you better do it before today ends because you'll be seeing each other tomorrow at work."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll try."

"Good luck."

Buck hangs up and slumps back into his bed with a frustrated groan. What is he going to say to Eddie? How is he going to make Eddie talk to him? But still, he knows Maddie is right and he needs to talk to Eddie no matter what. Despite his feelings for him, Eddie's still his best friend and he can't just throw that away because he ends up falling in love with him.

Throughout the day, Buck tries to call or text Eddie but he doesn't know what to say, and he's pretty sure Eddie won't answer him. So finally, he makes a decision of just going over to his house and talk to him in person.

It's already a bit late when he checks his watch, but he knows Eddie is still up at this hour. He grabs his keys and drives over to Eddie's house.

As he gets there, he hesitantly knocks on his door. As he waits for Eddie to answer, he just gets more and more nervous that he thinks he's going to have a panic attack.

Then Eddie opens the door and Buck stands there not able to say anything and just looks at Eddie in surprise.

Confused, Eddie says, "Hey, Buck. Is everything okay?"

Buck recovers, clears his throat, and says, "Can we talk?"

Eddie knows what this is about and he too knows that they need to talk about it rather sooner than later. So he steps aside and lets Buck inside his house.

As Eddie closes the door, Buck asks, "Is Christopher already in bed?"

"Uh, yeah. He went to sleep early tonight. Big day tomorrow."

"Oh...yeah. The field trip thing."

"Yeah..."

Then it was silence and the two men stand in the middle of Eddie's living room awkwardly. Couldn't take it anymore, Buck takes up the courage and says, "I'm so sorry, Eds. Everything just happened kinda all at once, you know? I mean, me figuring out who I really am and then realizing my feelings for you...I didn't mean to just drop it all like that on you."

"Well, to be fair to you, I was the one who forced you to tell me who it is."

"Only that you didn't expect it to be you."

"Right."

"And I understand if after this you would not be friends with me anymore. Just let me know if you want to keep a distance between us. Just that...just don't ban me from seeing Christopher. You know how much I love that kid."

Confused and surprised from hearing what Buck just said, Eddie asks, "Why are you saying that? Why would you think that I would ban you from seeing Christopher?"

"Well, I don't know...I mean, now you know I'm in love with you and you may be weirded out about it and you may be weirded out by me..."

"What? Buck, why are you saying that?"

"Well, because you walked out on me after I kissed you and I know you're pretty pissed at me and may never want to see me again."

"Do you think we're standing here now if I feel that way?"

Buck doesn't answer so Eddie sighs and says, "Alright. I know I walked out and I didn't reach out to you after. I'm sorry about that. But it wasn't because I was mad or weirded out, Buck. I was in shock that I couldn't say anything and I had to process everything first, okay? I've been meaning to talk to you, I just didn't know how..."

"So, you're not mad at me?" Buck asks in a hopeful tone.

Eddie sighs and decides that he better say everything now. "No. I wasn't mad at you. I can never be mad at you, Buck. You see, after I left your place last night, all I did was think about everything and I realized a lot of things too. About you and about myself.

"Ever since I met you, Buck, I immediately got these strong feelings for you - this attachment to you. You've become a very important person in not just my life but in my son's too. You are not just a friend to us, Buck. You are our family. You are practically Christopher's dad too, you know? I wouldn't have been able to raise Christopher without you. I won't be able to make a good life here in LA without you. There's no one in this world I would do all this with but you, Buck. And that's pretty much why I can't make any relationship work with other people. Because they are NOT you. It took me a while to realize that. Well, it's pretty much Carla who spelled it all out for me this morning, and she's right. I already have my home and my own family here and that's Christopher and you."

"What are you trying to say, Eds?" Buck asks, tearful and hopeful.

Eddie chuckles then walks over to Buck and this time, it is he who pulls Buck to him and kisses him deeply.

Buck is surprised but he manages to catch on quickly and responds to Eddie's kiss as his arms find their way around Eddie's body.

As they pull away, Buck looks at Eddie with a smile that says he just can't believe what just happened. Eddie smiles back at him and says, "I love you too, Evan."

"Finally!" They hear Christopher say, making them both turn in his direction in surprise. "Took you a long time to realize that."

"I thought you were already sleeping," Eddie says with a chuckle as he goes over to Christopher.

"I was but you two are so loud talking."

"Sorry, buddy," Buck says.

"It's okay. I'm happy now that you finally know now that you love each other the way you do. It was frustrating to wait for you to realize that, you know."

"So, you already know before us?" Buck asks.

"I mean, it was pretty obvious."

"Why do you all keep saying that?"

Christopher laughs.

"So, you're okay with me and Buck?" Eddie asks Chris.

"Yeah, and I've been telling my friends already since before that I got two dads. You and Buck."

Buck laughs and then smiles as he fondly looks at Eddie and Chris. And hell yeah, he loves them so much. His two boys. His family.

--end---

[mrgenshinlover]

Cynari Pt.1

Luv the picture btw ^^ ♡v♡

Part one: [Avidya Forest, early in the morning, Tighnari's POV]

*Tighnari woke as the sun glared at him with it's sunlight. He sat upon his bed as he stretched and yawned. After a while, he was prepared to watch the forest. Tighnari looked up at the beautiful sky. 'The clear blue, with unique imaginary patterns of clouds.' Tighnari thought, then inhaled the fresh air, then exhaled.*

"It sure is a wonderful day today, isn't it?" *Tighnari said as he looked at the critters who were nearby him, and took a good look at the plants, who were looking healthy. He turned as he took a quick stroll before his daily things.*

[Sumeru Academia, early in the morning, Cyno's POV]

*Cyno was already awake then, but nearly. He yawned as he sat down on a nearby seat. He took a deep breath to relax him from all the things that are bothering him. Cyno took a walk outside the Sumeru Academia, gazing at the sky and clouds. 'The clear blue, with a unique imaginary patterns of clouds.' Cyno thought.

"Today is sure going to be busy, since the weather is entirely beautiful today." *Cyno said as he continued walking around. He couldn't keep his eyes off of the sky, it helped him imagine things, the things he wanted to imagine. 'Should I go see Tighnari? No, it's going to be way too busy today...' *Cyno thought as he had an upsetting realization.* "But I'll be fine without seeing him today." *Cyno said, doubtfully.*

[Avidya Forest, later in the morning, Tighnari's POV]

"I wonder how Cyno's doing this morning." *Tighnari realized that he was still on his stroll and not watching out in the forest.* "The forest will be fine for a while, I suppose." *Tighnari continued walking as he admired the nature but also, kept cautious for any unexpected actions that could happen.*

[Sumeru Academia, later in the morning, Cyno's POV]

*Later on, Cyno headed back inside to see what all the sudden noise was about. Of course, they're were a lot of people entering. Cyno sighed as entered the Academia. 'I wonder how Tighnari is doing..' Cyno thought. "No worries though. He's fine." *Cyno said as he ran into a somebody. "M-my apologies." *The somewhat somebody said as they ran off somewhere else. Cyno shook his head.* "People these days.." *Cyno went to his place and started writing a letter to Tighnari. Tighnari and Cyno saw each other everyday, so it wasn't normal for them not to see each other, but it was understanding.*

{After a few hours} ^^

[Avidya Forest, afternoon, Tighnari's POV]

*Tighnari soon received Cyno's letter.*

{Letter}: 'Good Morning, Tighnari. Unfortunately, I cannot see you today. Here at the Sumeru Academia is very busy today. Today is sure a beautiful day, isn't it? I'd like to go on a stroll with you there at the Avidya Forest if today wasn't busy, but it sure is. I bet it's breathtaking there! Sorry for the inconvenience! You can see me at any time if you're not busy, but I suppose you are busy. After all, today is a wonderful day. Well, see you some day. Yours truly, Cyno.'

*Tighnari sighed.* "It seems like he misses me or something. I might as well I guess." *Tighnari put the letter aside and decided to write back. Collei then peeked in. "Hey, are you writing letters to Cyno again?" *Tighnari turned to Collei* "It's none of your business, nosey. Now back out." *Tighnari looked back at his paper and continued writing. While Collei shrugged as he backed out of Tighnari's room.*

[Sumeru Academia, afternoon, Cyno's POV]

*Cyno soon received Tighnari's letter.*

{Letter}: 'Good afternoon, Cyno. I understand how that's like. And that's fine if we don't see each other today, there's always another day. I'd love to go on another stroll with you, but I'm afraid not. How's it doing over there at the Sumeru Academia? I hope you're okay. And good luck on the busy day. I'm not busy at all right now, so I may as well come over if that's fine. But I'll wait until most of them have left. I don't want to be lost in a crowded area, do I? Heh, I'll see you someday as well, From your best friend, Tighnari.'

*Cyno examined the letter for a moment.* "At least he said something back, I'm not worried." *Cyno chuckled* "I wonder when is another day. I also noticed that he didn't say yours truly. Oh well." *Cyno smiled as he put the paper aside and continued to work. It was a really busy day. And I mean REALLY busy. ^^

{Time flies by, doesn't it? The sun is setting.}

[Avidya Forest, the sun is setting, Tighnari's POV]

*Tighnari yawned.* "I guess I won't see him after all. Today's been exhausting.." *Tighnari went out for another lonely stroll. He gazed at the dark sky, with the bright stars that expresses themselves, and barely anymore clouds. It just felt a bit lonely this time. The morning felt better. Tighnari knew that there wasn't a chance for them to spend time with each other and do quests with each other on beautiful days like today. It.. kind of upset him, but he was keeping his guard up. Tighnari sighed* "It's not that bad out here, huh?" *Tighnari looked down at the colorful glowing fungi as the wind hit them* "This.. doesn't feel right.."

The end of pt.1!!! I hope you liked it, and did I at least improve a little? I'd like to know! Ty again.

[maramirror11]

Reminiscences of the past

This is my Darling's POV throughout those 3 years they were separated from Makarro. Thank you @haradasaya for being the beta reader!

TW: Slight mentions of eating disorders.

I hope you enjoy it!

Pronouns: They/Them

As I was washing the dishes, I realized that it has been a week since I last saw my husband. The day after the feast, he left to continue his work. Now, the Guardian is locked up and there is no one capable of interfering. Nonetheless, I'm worried.

He hasn't come home nor contacted me at all. I know he can lose himself in his work, but not like this. I know him, he hasn't been taking care of himself.

I have this feeling that something is wrong. So, I'm writing them down to help me understand.

Lately I wonder why I am going along with all of this. It's not like I don't want my throne back, but it feels like he's hiding something from me.

I need to remember when all of this started…

… 

It was an awful full moon night. I got the new evidence after my case became cold. Even if it was a trap, we needed to try. My dearest Makarro said we'll reunite at the shipping yard. I ran as fast as I could but someone followed me.

When we got reunited with my dearest, we finally solved our case. My brother Kayble admitted that he was responsible for my threat letter and the senator hired the assassins. 

Since we found out about this, Kayble sent Makarro to a place called Black Site. He was being sentenced for kidnapping and high treason. I tried to explain that I escaped and took refuge with him. But Kayble didn't listen. As he was taken away, we both promised we'll see each other again.

My brother knew if the citizens found out about the real story, the government reputation would fall. So, he wanted to make sure no one could speak about this incident.

"Don't take him away" "Let him go!" I kicked and screamed as I was dragged into the carriage.

As always, my orders were ignored. After a year and a half, I was going back "home".

It felt like an eternity on the ride back to the castle. We arrived a few hours before the sunrise. I stayed in a cell until Kayble finished the preparation to spread the news. 

Early in the morning, he announced my arrival at the castle’s balcony in front of all the people present.

"Dear citizens. As you know, the heir of Manas disappeared a long time ago. Our hearts prayed to the Guardian for their safely return to us"

"As your prince, it was my duty to find and bring back my sibling…"

He narrates the story of how he found out I was kidnapped by an evil wizard and bravely rescued me.

I was behind him, inside the castle, during his speech. As he finishes, Kayble turns around, extends his hand and makes a gesture for me to come out.

At first, I decided I wouldn't go out. He took everything I loved, why would I follow his plan?

Suddenly, I heard the cheers from my people, happy for my safety. They were screaming my name and begging me to step out. I couldn't refuse to see them. Slowly, I went outside smiling and waving my hand.

I carefully chose my words.

"My dear citizens, I'm sorry for upsetting you but thank you for keeping me in your prayers. I'm honored to be able to see you again. May the gods bring us a better future for our great nation"  As the sound of applause got higher, I went back inside.

It wasn't hard, being part of an aristocratic family, acting was a basic skill. But, I wasn't aware that would be the last time I'll feel like I had a choice.

Afterwards, my brother escorted me to my new bedroom. When we arrived, all my stuff was already there. My bed, bookshelf, jewelry box, etc. Except that something was bothering me. Why would he change my room?

When I stepped inside, I heard a click sound behind me and realized the door was locked.

“You should be thankful I even let you live. Enjoy your stay, dear sibling”. Then he walked away.

I immediately tried to open the door with all my strength but I couldn't, not even shouting and hitting would do something.

It didn't work before but I needed to try. While I was away, Kayble built this room and prepared it to prevent any possible escape. Yet that didn’t stop me.

After that day, I had many escape attempts. But, there was little I could do with just one small window and a door with locks on the outside. It was me against the entire castle guards and servants.

I wanted to test them at first, so I tried the predictable ones. Run away whenever they open the door, carve my way to another room, convince others to help me, and more.

Then, I started to create more elaborate plans, but never got too far. Later on, the security knew practically all my strategies and made it impossible for me to come up with new ideas.

In the end, I decided to take some time to observe and analyze any new opportunity instead of rushing it.

… 

I was in that cell, or bedroom as they called it, all day. The only exceptions were when I needed to be present for an event and then back to the same place. Just like an animal you take out of their cage for display. A big cage filled with precious items, but a cage nonetheless.

What bothered me the most was that I barely had people visit me. I got used to having someone to talk to and be my real self. Then again, I had to be on high alert.

Servants came from time to time. They'll come to clean and bring me new clothes or food. However, they were ordered not to talk to me nor give me anything else, they were being watched all the time.

The only one who stayed enough time was Kayble, but his visits weren't exactly pleasant.

"That's the summary of the last reunion. You know you could've left this place a long time ago, right? All you need to do is follow my instructions"

"..."

"Since you insist on being so stubborn, I guess you need more time alone”

Then, he’ll leave me again. 

My father never said anything, when he wanted to see me, I'll go to him. I'm not sure if he knew about this or not.

I don’t know how I kept myself sane. I was left alone with my thoughts all day.

How did we end up like this?

After everything, how Kayble, my own brother, could do this to me? How couldn't I see this coming?

Was my dearest all right? Was he even alive at this point?

Would he like to see me again? It’s my fault that he’s in prison.

HOW can I LEAVE this place? Can ANYTHING GET BETTER after this?

My routine was sitting on my bed and trying to find answers. However, that only made it worse. So, I tried to keep my mind occupied.

“Alright, I’ve finished reading my book today. I couldn't have predict the ending, it’s just the fifth time I read it”

“The sun is already going up? I’m just halfway through my writing”

“Talking to myself isn’t that bad actually. Still, I wish I was with my dearest, at least we’ll find a more interesting topic than guessing clouds shapes"

Sadly, everything became dull after a while.

Even when my body was occupied, I had this persistent question on my mind.

How did my little brother turn into this monster I don’t recognize? 

The coldness in his eyes when I was captured was terrifying. I've never seen him with so much hatred.

He used to be so kind. After our mother died, I practically raised him and taught everything since our father was occupied with his duties.

"Are you free to play a match of wingball? Father said he's too busy"

"Of course Kayble, but don't be mad at me when I win. You know I'm a great player"

…

"You won again?! You'll see next time, I'll win for sure!"

I'll give everything just to play a match with you like the old times.

"One day I want to be like you!" He used to tell me. I can't help but get emotional every time I remember those moments.

Even as grown ups, we had our differences but we got along well. He always looked down to himself, unable to see how amazing he is and looked for validation from others. 

Unfortunately, he found it with the other leaders when our family took the position of heirs after Mazzel died and all her children escaped.

Even with that, I still can't believe he was ready to make me paranoid. Be afraid to die at the hands of assassins if that means I’ll do what he wants.

There was a small part of me that hoped we'd get along again, but everyday Kayble shows me how impossible that dream is.

I wonder if we were a normal family, everything could've ended differently. 

…

My life took a drastic change when I became the heir of Manas. I am from an aristocratic family, our title had a lot of weight in Tyrannis.

I was trained in everything an heir needed to know. Etiquette, how to walk properly, what to say to get my way and infinite resources to do anything I want.

Even so, I felt that I could do more to help others. That’s the reason I specialized in healing magic and potions. At that moment, it was the only thing I was able to do. Now, I had the opportunity to make a real change.

But my problems started when I worked with the other leaders. We’ll have our differences, they want to continue the traditions which means they are afraid of the new possibilities outside help can provide.

Mazzel's consequences are worse than we thought and we really need to ask for outside help. However, my words, despite my title, were irrelevant. I was alone with my beliefs, no one was brave enough to go against the prince.

...

It was destiny that all the events that happened after the reunion. Receiving a threat letter was the best and worst thing that happened to me.

On one hand, I was aware of the real intentions of someone I worked close by. On the other hand, if I didn’t escape, I wouldn’t have found the love of my life.

I knew I couldn't trust anyone inside the castle for help. Then I remembered these rumors about a brilliant detective who wasn't associated with the MCPD. Since I had nothing to lose, I went looking for him.

Even with his rude introduction, he didn't look like he had bad intentions. I can judge people pretty well, he seemed like someone I could trust. His name is Makarro Aetherward.

I ended up staying in the detective’s house while we investigated the case. Surprisingly, we got along and quickly it became my home as well.

It was unreal how happy I was there, it felt like someone took a huge weight from me. Sure, I needed to learn how to cook and clean for myself, but I was free.

No more being bossed around by the others nor be worried about pleasing everyone. I could truly be myself.

Also, Makarro's company was pleasant. The best moments of my day were when we could spend time together, mundane things turned out as fun experiences.

Cooking became my new hobby, making food and then tasting it with him is something I couldn’t trade for anything. How his face went from faking a smile to actually enjoy it, was enough to try my best the next time.

“Do you like the new recipe? It's from my books”

“This is really good, I'm surprised” His face lit up when he put the spoon in his mouth.

“Oh, so you didn't like my food before? You were lying to me?” I put my hand on my mouth as dramatic as possible.

“No! That's not what I-”  He quickly shakes his head. 

“Oh, you are so gullible” I couldn’t contain my laugh any longer. He can't do anything but look in defeat with a smile.

“Don't worry, I know my cooking wasn't the best. Honestly, those spices make the difference”

When I felt comfortable enough, I started to re-decorate the house. It screamed “I don’t live here because it feels lonely” and didn’t feel like a home someone would like to return.

I started with some plants, not flowers because I’m allergic to pollen, then vases, paintings and my own stuff. Even if I barely got outside, hanging out together at home felt like a dream I didn’t want to wake up. 

I went outside mostly when I helped with cases but I enjoyed myself every time, even when we ran for our lives from the assassins. Normally, it'll be scary but I felt safe with him. I knew together we'll find a way out.

Later on, he told me I brought color into his life, and so did he to mine. After a couple of dates, we got together officially.

My favorite ones were when we went to dance, both outside and inside the house, it was just us in the world.

For that year and a half, I forgot how cruel it was back at the castle, what it was like to be invisible. Sometimes I wonder if it was better if I never ran away, at least you could've been safe...

…

I thought I could handle being alone with nothing but my thoughts but I was wrong. 

There was nothing I could do but to walk in circles in my tiny room.

After a while I started to feel that they’ll try to eliminate me again, despite doing everything right. When I thought I was being paranoid, I remember that they, in fact, tried to kill me.

I had nothing but my brother's empty words, with the promise to keep me alive. At the end of the day, their mission is the same. As long as I live, they can’t do what they want. 

Perhaps they will be more cautious, the next time it could be an “accident”. It is easier to tell people I died because of food poisoning. Also, everything I eat is served by them.

I ended up eating less and less until I stopped eating all together. At the same time, I asked the staff to stop coming to my place. I couldn’t take any chances, so I cleaned up myself.

It kept me occupied for a while. Maintaining my room clean and organized felt like I cleansed my own mind.

…

I got weaker and weaker with time, my hopes of going outside were fading. I could barely get out of my bed and I didn’t have a reason to do it either.

The dust started to pile up, my wrinkled clothes stayed on the floor and the window was covered with a curtain.

I could only hear the sound of my own breathing and sometimes, a few steps outside. There was nothing new to experience, even the hunger couldn't bother me. There was nothing but my thoughts. 

And suddenly, I got the realization that nothing will change even if I get out. It shattered the few sanity I had left.

All these negative thoughts plagued my mind until the idea of finally doing what they wanted crossed my mind. Tears slowly fell down on my face as I accepted my defeat.

Being a puppet for someone was my greatest fear and it was closer to becoming inevitable. After many months, I still couldn't find a way out and staying locked up wasn't a great plan either. 

I was thinking of explaining to my brother my change of mind, when a sudden breeze moved the curtains. The sunlight came right to my face, interrupting my plan.

Reluctantly, I got up and slowly approached the wall.

"I don't remember the sunlight being so bright"

When I was about to close the curtains, I stopped and looked outside. I could see the city, people doing their normal routine.

They still have hope for the future even with the war scars on them. They deserve it and I know for sure my brother won’t give them that. No one in this castle cares for them.

But I do.

I care and CAN make that future happen.

I felt a boost of motivation. I took out the curtains, cleaned my bedroom and organized my stuff.

At that moment, I swore, even with my last breath, I’ll do my best for them. Not only that, also my dearest is still looking for me.

I need to get myself together, we’ve promised to see each other again and I don't break a promise.

I needed to be stronger, I wouldn’t let them down. But, in order for me to do that, I had to start eating once more. Still not everything on the plate, but enough to give me energy. Just one step at a time.

…

Who knew three years went by until I got to see my love and freedom again. It was like any other day, I was sitting on a chair reading when Kayble visited me.

Once again he tried to convince me to follow his story. Then he dropped the phrase that I feared the most.

"I most definitely HATE YOU"

At that moment, my heart shattered, I knew there was no going back to how we used to be.

But I couldn’t show him my emotions, I had to keep my ground. My unwavering gaze stayed focused on his eyes as I desperately tried not to cry.

When he left, I heard a familiar voice. It came from the shadow next to my window.

It was my dearest Makkaro! I could barely believe my eyes. I was ecstatic, he was alive! I wanted nothing more than to give him a big hug. 

But when I tried to approach him…

"Wait, no, don't move"

I stopped. Wasn't he happy to see me?

"Did you betray me? Was my love a game to you?"

I couldn’t see his face, but his voice was enough to know his feelings.

At first, I was in shock, does he really think I'm capable of that?

Then I realized, the story my brother created probably traveled to the place he was trapped.

"It's not true, my dearest" "I love you… I really really missed you" I could barely contain my tears.

He sounded relieved. Despite that, I couldn’t get close yet. It was until he got into the light that I understood. To say that he looked horrible was an understatement.

He had bruises, scars, burn marks. WHAT did they do to him? I was looking at an undead. He was more dead than alive. 

At the moment, he just said they did terrible things to him, and even cried. 

I couldn’t do anything to comfort him, still, what could I even say? He suffered because of me and no amount of words could take his memories away.

He told me how learned necromancy and escaped. That was impossible, necromancers lose their minds almost immediately and yet he sounded mostly like he used to be.

Finally he mentioned the Karmic Touch, a curse upon necromancers. Anything in contact with skin, it melts. The only exception is a protection spell.

He asked me if I could accept him like this. I didn’t even think twice and made the protection spell right away.

I immediately ran to him and we hugged tightly. It has been so long since the last time we could be together, I didn’t want it to end.

I could feel how slim he was. I have no idea how he could keep himself standing.

Suddenly, we heard noises from outside and were brought back to reality. We weren’t safe and he offered to escape in his own way. He asked if he could kidnap me. My dearest has the worst choice of words in the worst moments, and I love it. 

"Are you asking me to marry you?" I said with a grin and tears of joy.

He confirmed. 

"I'd love to"

Then we made a vow. I’ll take any chance to be with him again, even if I need to leave everything behind.

I won’t abandon him again. Besides, there is nothing left for me here. He is my new home.

After that, we teletransported to a safer location while destroying the room with fire. We arrived at this place far away from the castle when I saw it, a talking skeleton. 

Certainly, I should've expected that but nothing really prepares you when you see it. His name is Frank, a friend of Mak. Despite the way he talks, he seems trustworthy.

And my new life began.

…

After writing down everything we went through, I remember. We've been through hell to get where we are now. There are sacrifices we need to do to get what we want. 

I know necromancy surely will take over my dearest someday. But this is the reason, even if it's just a small chance to save him from this and get enough strength to change the future of my city, I’ll take it.

But the uneasy feeling hasn't gone away completely. 

I should check up on him.

The End.

[lucidglass33]

Crocodile x (gn)Reader:

—————

Readers pov:

It was unusually dry today, not like any other day, perhaps it’s because the sun decided to shine brighter or the curse upon Alabasta has gotten worse. It’s been hard, having to live alone and work a single pop-up shop but I still managed. Walking outside to stock up some food on my free day I see that the streets complemented the temperature like no other.…. Everyone was in their houses , windows closed and some pop up shops were empty, but besides a few people walking there stood a taller figure. The big man, or perhaps I say Crocodile, everyone fears him in this town but I never saw any point to give him a bigger ego then what he perhaps has now. Given his appearance I’d asume I’d be considered a lowly ant in comparison - passing along the thought aside to do what I came to do I bought fruits and some seasonal Cactus melons, on my way to the next stall I - “oh shit- oof…. Ugh.” did I just slip on….. sand? I was already on the floor confused as I hurt my knee and all my fruits fell onto the floor when the figure I’ve mentioned before crouched before me with a single look.

“Hm, are you alright?” He said with a stern look and his cigar still smoking air.

I was a bit surprised to see him helping me pick up my fruits with his singular hand.

“I’m fine, it should not matter to you that I fell. I can manage on my own” I stood up with the basket and placed everything inside as I pat down my legs taking away the sand.

The man got up and huffed a small “tsk” observing my figure as I realized he is way taller then I had imagined.

“Frankly, my dear, I *do* give a damn.” He placed the fruit in my basket with a smirk as he took another look at my face with no sign as to what he was thinking.

“Be careful next time, if it was someone nastier they would of definitely turned you into sand.”

With that statement he walked past me , as it took me a few moments to realize what even happened.

I look back to realize he’s already gone and is replaced with a wind of sand. Strange man….. but weirdly sweet.

—————

First time writing a fanfic so like excuse my grammar mistakes and anything else.

-sleepy <3

[bakerstreethound]

I've been wanting to tell you this since yesterday afternoon.... 👌 I beg Tumblr doesn't eat my ask but, listen Dr. Stephen Strange, not the super sorcerer! , Just stephen with Taylor's song. You're losing me. He being a doctor and not noticing her heart is not beating the same for him

Hey! Your ask thankfully didn't get eaten! So, I'm not much of a Swiftie (plz don't eat me) but I did my best to incorporate the essence of the song into this story and it's written mostly from Stephen's pov. There's a lot of angst involved and little to no comfort.

One Half of a Broken Heart

Stephen comes to the realization that your feelings don't run as deep as his so he learns to cope and become a better person for himself.

All writings belong to me @bakerstreethound (Do NOT claim, repost, copy, or translate my works to other sites. I only publish here and on A03) Graphic by @firefly-graphics Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

We thought a cure would come through in time, now, I fear it won't

Remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light

Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time

******

The letter in his hands burns, evaporating in a plume of smoke and cinders. However hard he tried, the words on the page are seared into his skull, forever imprinted on his heart. How he wishes he could forget but there’s not a chance. He should have known this would happen, perhaps could have predicted it, but not so soon.

Looking back, he hasn't felt a pain in his chest surfacing this bad in many years. Perhaps he never should have struck up that conversation with you at the party at Karmar Taj Wong drug him to countless times, yet the conversations you had about your studies fascinated him, your willingness to put up with Wong and his antics as you calmly explained to him he reshelved the books incorrectly. 

“He’s not so bad,” you told him as you sipped on your drink. “He starts to grow on you after a while.” 

“Tell me about it,” Stephen huffed in response, a smile had begun to form. When was the last time he smiled? He couldn’t recall. You intrigued him, fascinated him became his rock and now this was all you left him? 

Let me go, Stephen, I’m not what you’re looking for. We were never more than what happened last summer. I’m sorry it had to be this way. Remember me fondly as you can. Don’t worry about me, I’ll take care of myself. I wish you nothing but the best. You know I bled countless times for you, you need to let me go. I’m sorry it had to be this way. xxx.

But your shadow remained, haunting him bit by bit, even as he stared into the fireplace, watching the letter burn. Would he regret doing so?

You are nothing but a memory in his mind now, perhaps one of the better ones. He was a fool to think he could be enough for you. Yet, you rescued him in his darkest time, the unrequited love tugging him to you as a source of comfort. As with life people came and went.

Maybe the universe had bigger plans for him and he sighed, Cloaky settling on his shoulders with a flick of his finger. Cloaky still smelled faintly like you, almost an agonizing goodbye that you truly weren’t there with him anymore.

Cloaky’s collar reached up, caressing his cheek for a semblance of comfort, but only then did he realize the quiet tears slipping from his eyes. He slipped further and further, his heart burning at the realization crashing back to him. Was he so alone? For now, but he had Wong and a universe to care after. 

He took a few breaths, gripping the sides of his armchair to steady himself as he gazed into the fireplace, the hot flames licking his cheek. He can’t find the strength to move. 

How could he? You mattered so much to him and now in this time of sorrow, he knew it was a losing game all alone. You made your choice, he made his to love you from afar even if you didn’t choose him. You left your imprint on his heart and there he would carry you.

He thought he knew what he had until it was gone, yet with you it’s different. You mattered and he had taken everything for granted, your kindness, your forgiveness, your friendship. 

The tears fell harder this time, throat stuck in a silent scream as he flung himself on his bed, curling up into a ball, letting the emotions fall. It hurt how he knew he wasn’t enough for you, giving you what you needed, but he could pull himself out of this mess, there was still hope for him. Now, it didn’t feel like it at the moment, but he wouldn't give up.

That’s the trap of falling for someone who doesn't feel the same watching them walk away or leave, carrying a shattered bit of your heart you can’t replace.

It was too late for him to say anything, but under the tears, under the comfort of Cloaky, he regained his strength day by day, week by week, even when he saw glimpses of you next to him, felt you whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

He knew it was nothing but a figment of his mind, some shattered piece of you following him, his guardian angel a reminder of what he lost encouraging him to find his future. For his heart didn’t beat for you any longer. 

******

Stop, you're losing me

I can't find a pulse, my heart won't start anymore

******

[kastelpls]

steam visual novel fest sale recs

i like visual novels and there's a vn fest going on, so here's a thread on titles i like:

ELIZA

https://store.steampowered.com/app/716500/Eliza

i recently finished this title and while the topic is certainly relevant, what drew me more was how it depicted the traumas of tech startup culture. whether intentional or not, the dreams and aspirations of tech workers to solve problems become tainted by capital and hubris.

the protagonist is jaded as fuck because she's seen her creation take over the world. but she's not as melodramatic as dr frankenstein; she is still gauging how things are going. her alienated view on the world around is intoxicating and i really found the pov very charming.

the experience of playing this game made me feel like i've returned to my unpaid internship days for better or for worse. it's a story that will forever remain relevant until silicon valley and the tech industry as we know it are over. wonderful title.

SeaBed

https://store.steampowered.com/app/583090/SeaBed/

i have personal stakes in seabed since i'm one of the two non-translators credited to bringing this yuri vn overseas. my bias aside, i think this is one of the most unique video games of all time.

you follow a bunch of adults aimlessly wandering around as the world around them reflects their mental states. things just happen, but everyone takes it in the most matter-of-fact fashion. the writing is intentionally tedious at times because it is in love with the mundane. it's a story all about grief, but it is also about how to approach the ebb and flow of life.

as a friend once said, "it's a mystery where the characters don't realize they're in one." or as i like to put it, "a mystery in search of a mystery".

Christmas Tina

https://store.steampowered.com/app/1049100/_/

set in the notorious bubble era of japan, this may look like a romantic encounter between a chinese dude and a japanese girl at first glance. however, it drops that premise by having them squabble forever and not learn each other's languages.

the game is instead about minorities struggling to survive. the chinese guy left china for various reasons and wanted to make a name for himself while the japanese girl got into a car accident with a person engaged in the sex trade because she was looking for money to pay for her sister's surgery. later on, you'll read about different chinese members, a woman raised by a chinese-japanese couple, and other interesting people that make up japan today.

if there is a game i like to credit for inspiring my interest into connecting with my traumatic chinese history again in my own writing, it's this title. there's a section that surprised me because it was, after all, a title mainly developed in china and it's still very recent history. but i'm glad the developers took the risk and it's an impressive episode.

i'd seriously recommend this game if you haven't tried it. it's seriously a sleeper hit.

Chuusotsu

https://store.steampowered.com/app/630870/Chuusotsu_1st_Graduation_Time_After_Time/

the first of an ongoing series, chuusotsu 1st is about a bunch of middle school graduates who can't graduate into high school for various reasons. stories about their traumas are interlinked with the chaos of japanese social media.

likewise, it's also about trying things that they are scared to try. the protagonist is an anxious girl who wants to do art, but she keeps failing at socializing. she's cute.

The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles

https://store.steampowered.com/app/1158850/The_Great_Ace_Attorney_Chronicles/

since this was featured in the festival, i might as well give it a shout. this is more an adventure game in the Ace Attorney series, but i consider it to be the best game and everyone should play it.

it explores a historical period dear to my heart: the era of meiji japan and victorian england. here are two imperialist nationstates, but the latter is stronger than the former and is secretly dictating how japan should behave.

not only does the game explore this colonial dynamic but it also looks into how racism functions in the british justice system. any pretense of democracy and fairness is ultimately failed when the british jury sees the protagonist and calls him an ape.

i credit the final chapter for changing my dissertation thesis when i was still doing my masters. if i ever do a phd, i'm going to continue studying the history of international students and what it reflects about us as a humanity.

Return to Shironagasu Island

https://store.steampowered.com/app/1156990/Return_to_Shironagasu_Island/

a surprise doujin hit in japan, this visual novel written by an ex-mystery writer is very old-school to a fault. you are exploring one of those MURDER ISLANDS and there's orthodox mystery tricks, but it's well-executed.

the main star is neneko who's a little cringe beast. she's cute.

games i've heard are good but haven't played yet

Bustafellows

Taisho x Alice

The Flowers series

Symphonic Rain

Tangle Tower

Fatal Twelve

Furikake Spacy

A Year of Springs

Narcissu 10th Anniversary Project

2064: Read Only Memories

Analogue: A Hate Story

if you are looking for more recommendations on steam, i have a curation page.