#that this will never be an easy thing to cope with
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amazingmsme · 1 day ago
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Like Salt in the Wound
AN: first fic of 2025, woohoo! Starting off strong with some angst/comfort & I honestly wouldn’t want it any other way! Odysseus really needs a hug, but I guess he’ll just have to get wrecked instead, lmao. Telemachus & Athena’s friendship means everything to me! I had an absolute blast with this one, & I hope you do too!
Odysseus had only been home just shy of a year, but even a few months spent with his beloved family repaired more of his soul than he ever imagined. There were nights where he slept peacefully; the nightmares fading away as his wife cradled him in her arms. He was less jumpy, more at ease. He no longer drew his sword when he heard a loud clatter or bang, instead merely gripping the hilt until he was sure there was no threat.
The past still haunted him, but he had learned to cope as best as he could.
He had changed, yes, but he was still Odysseus, and the man Penelope fell in love with all those years ago continued to shine through in little ways.
It was in the way he held her with such tenderness, the way he cupped her cheek and kissed her. How he laughed at his own terrible jokes. The way he blushed and shied away when she said something suggestive. How he hung on their son's every word, showering him with love and affection to make up for lost time.
He might've done terrible things to return to them, but he was not nearly the monster he saw himself as. There was still the smallest unspoken softness about him, but it slowly grew larger every day.
He shoved his insecurities down, only allowing Penelope to see him so weak. But there was one secret he kept from even her.
The first time he saw Telemachus, dawned with spear and helmet, wearing Athena's cloak, he felt a wave of panic wash over him. He couldn't let his mentor do to his son what she had done to him. He refused.
But then, Athena apologized. She actually admitted to leading him astray, and offered the chance to rebuild a better, more peaceful word. That this time, things would be different. She promised to train Telemachus with empathy, to not shut him out like she had done to Odysseus all those years before.
The idea terrified him. He saw so much of himself in Telemachus, and knew first hand how easy it would be to strip away his vibrancy and innocence. He had been hesitant to allow her to continue training him, but he caved the moment his son asked.
It felt... strange, watching the two of them interact. Watching his Telemachus spar with Athena stirred old memories that brought a bittersweet smile to his face. Oh, what could have been.
Telemachus had told him that Athena once called him her friend, on the day they first met. She didn't say his name, but he now knows she was referring to his father. Odysseus just wished she would've admitted that back then.
They both acted differently in each other's company; unlike they ever were with him.
Telemachus adored Athena. He looked forward to her visits, lighting up the moment she entered a room before running off for his next lesson. He was never so eager when Odysseus trained with him, questioning his methods and suggesting what Athena would do. He tried not to let it get under his skin, but he'd be lying if he said it didn't sting a little.
Athena might as well be a completely different person with Telemachus. She was patient and understanding, gently correcting him when he made a mistake. Odysseus seemed to remember her harsh tone and judging words when he was to screw up. It felt hypocritical, and it left a sour taste in his mouth.
He felt horrible for harboring such thoughts, and yet, he couldn't help it. He was jealous. Athena already knew Telemachus before he ever had the chance to truly meet him. She taught the boy how to fight; something he had been looking forward to doing himself. He still had much to learn, but he would rather listen to a Goddess than his own father.
Odysseus could never fault him for doing so. After all, he had been the same way at that age.
He remembered how great it felt to have her favor. To earn her praise after a battle well fought. She used compliments sparingly and went heavy handed on the criticism, so you would know when she really meant it. She would try to hold in her laughter when he would tell jokes, but he was able to catch her off guard on more than one occasion.
Even if the friendship had been one sided at the time, it had felt real to him.
So you can imagine how much it hurt to see Athena and Telemachus get along so well.
She didn't push him as hard as she did Odysseus, making sure to respect the young prince's boundaries. With the King of Ithaca, she sparred with him as her equal, as if he had the strength and speed of a God, and ridiculed him when she bested him in combat, pointing out everything he did wrong. But with Telemachus, she held herself back, only increasing the difficulty once she knew he could handle it. Her criticism was constructive and soft, and it made Odysseus roll his eyes. That wasn't the Athena he knew.
She didn't brush him off or keep him at arms length either; she welcomed the friendship with open arms. She called Telemachus her friend, to his face. And without a drop of condescension! She gave him plenty of breaks to go goof off, sometimes even joining in on the fun. Odysseus had only been allowed three breaks at most. 
It was fine. He was happy for them. Well, mostly for Telemachus. As long as he was happy, that's all that matters.
They were deep in the woods, close to where Odysseus killed the boar all those years ago. Oh how Telemachus loved that story. He loved all his stories, really. Odysseus feared that he would never quite live up to the legend Telemachus saw him as.
He was currently training him on his sword work,  blocking every strike Telemachus made. He swung down towards his father's shoulder with the blunt practice sword, only for Odysseus to parry the blade and spin around behind him. 
Telemachus whirled around just in time to block the sword with his shield, tucking and rolling across the ground. He popped back up, slashing across the back of his father's legs. Odysseus played along and fell to the ground, crawling as if he were severely wounded.
"Great job, you've disarmed your opponent and hold the advantage. But I could get up if I try, so I'm still a capable threat. What will you do?" Odysseus talked him through it, waiting for his son's next move.
"I..." Telemachus started, thinking of his options before committing, "I go straight for the heart," he said, raising his sword high above his head before stabbing down. He softened the blow just before poking Odysseus in the chest.
The King of Ithaca arched his back, screaming and writhing in mock pain. Telemachus couldn't help but chuckle and roll his eyes at the dramatics, but his amusement was obvious.
A slow clap sounded from behind, and Telemachus turned to see Athena watching from the trees. Her scar was healing well and she sported a proud smirk, "Well done, little wolf."
Telemachus smiled wide, running over to greet her. "Athena!" He threw his arms around her in a tight hug, one that she reciprocated.
"I see you're keeping him busy," she addressed Odysseus with a fond smile of her own.
"Are you kidding? He practically begged me until I agreed to spar with him," he teased. He stood up, brushing himself off, taking a step closer.
"Father!" Telemachus whined, a blush spreading across his cheeks. Athena chuckled and shook her head.
"Well then, how about I take him off your hands for a bit?" she asked, cocking her head.
"Be my guest," he invited, taking a seat on a fallen log.
"Alright Telemachus, let's give him a show."
"Alright!" he cheered, pumping a fist in the air. He snatched his discarded sword from the ground, taking a fighting stance.
Odysseus watched the training session with a gentle smile that felt more forced than he cared to admit. It was as though he were looking into his own past through rose tinted lenses.
They moved around each other with such practiced ease, as if it were a well rehearsed dance. Telemachus grinned from ear to ear, dimples on full display. He never smiled like that when it was Odysseus teaching him. Instead, he wore a tense, focused expression, broken only by the occasional smile before determination settled back once more. They bantered back and forth, goading and teasing each other as weapons clashed.
"Ha, is that the best you got?" Telemachus taunted as he parried another strike. Athena smirked, arching a brow before swiping her spear behind his legs and knocking him off his feet.
"Nope."
He sprung back up, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. "Bring it on then!"
Athena charged at him, only for Telemachus to sidestep her at the last second. He spun around, kicking the back of her knees to buckle her legs. She yelped and stumbled forward, leaning against a tree for support.
She stood up, studying the tree thoughtfully. Odysseus watched on skeptically, unsure where she was going with this.
"Is this a dogwood tree?" she asked, running a hand up the trunk.
Odysseus scooted closer to the edge of the log. No, she wouldn't!
"Uh, I don't know. Why?"
"I'm pretty sure it is," she mused, barely holding back a smirk.
"Really? How can you tell?" Telemachus asked, stepping closer to get a better look at the tree.
Athena looked down at him, allowing her smile to make its presence known. "By its bark."
She fucking did!
It took Telemachus a moment to get the joke, but once he did, he threw his head back in laughter. "Oho man, that's a good one!"
"Hey, that was my joke!" Odysseus spoke up, because what the hell gives? He told that joke to Telemachus a month ago and all he got in return was a fake chuckle! And further more, he could barely remember Athena ever laughing at his jokes, but suddenly, they were funny enough to steal?
Telemachus looked at his dad and shrugged. "Sorry, I guess she's just funnier than you!" he teased.
Okay, ouch. Odysseus clenched his jaw, ducking his head to hide the twitch of a frown tugging at his lips.
"I suppose she is," he agreed, trying to play along. He looked back up, an empty smile back in place as they resumed sparring.
"Flattery won't get you very far," Athena rolled her eyes, but joined in on the playful taunting. "That goes for both of you," she cast a quick glance towards Odysseus, faltering when she could've sworn she saw a look of sadness on her old friend's face. But it was gone just as fast as it appeared. She decided to let it go for now, but made a note in the back of her mind to check in on him later.
"I don't know, it's gotten me pretty far in the past," Telemachus bragged, showing off with some sword twirling that Odysseus had taught him.
"Okay, take it down a notch," she teased, but her words only embolden him. He tossed the sword in the air, catching it with his other hand.
"Make me!" he taunted. Athena grabbed her spear and shoved the blunt end against his chest, effectively knocking him off balance. He fell on his back, playfully glaring up at her from the dirt. "That was mean."
"You were being cocky."
"Yeah, and?" he asked, arching a brow. Athena shot Odysseus a look when he barked out a laugh, but a smile played at the edge of her mouth.
"The last thing he needs is more encouragement."
Odysseus merely shrugged, sporting a smug grin that put her mind at ease.
Then again, he'd always been a great actor.
Odysseus couldn't help but to feel like a third wheel. They clearly enjoyed each other's company more than his own, so why not just... slip away?
He scooted off to the side, sitting on the edge of the log. Neither one seemed to notice, so he casually stood to his feet, giving his back a stretch. He silently slipped into the shadows of the trees as the continued training.
He didn't go too far, but far enough to feel alone. He leaned against a tree, rubbing a hand over his tired face. He was surprised when his palm came back wet. When had he started crying? He quickly wiped away his tears, sniffling softly. By the Gods, he needed to get ahold of himself.
He closed his eyes, taking a few deep, yet shaky breaths. He could still hear the faint echoes of their taunting jeers in the distance, and sighed. He supposed he'd better head back before they noticed he was gone. He took his time on the way back, staring at the ground and dragging his feet.
Meanwhile, Telemachus and Athena continued to spar, although she had noticed the moment he left. She had known something was off, but she didn't know it was that bad. She tried to keep Telemachus busy so he wouldn't notice his father's absence.
She was lost in thought when a foot suddenly connected with her face and she was sent tumbling to the ground.
"Whoa! Dad, did you see that?" Telemachus cheered and jumped in the air, turning around for his father's approval. "Dad?" He looked around, but saw no trace of him. Panic began to creep inside his chest. He ran into the woods, shouting, "Dad? Where are you?"
"Telemachus, wait!" Athena called after him, but the kid was fast and he was in a mission. She ran after him, calling out for Odysseus as well.
As soon as he heard them call out, he ran towards them, yelling, "Over here!"
He came into view, and Telemachus ran into him with a bone crushing hug.
"Where were you?" 
Odysseus wheezed as the air was knocked out of him, wrapping his arms around his son. "Can't a man take a leak in private?" he joked. Telemachus chuckled, shoving at his chest.
"Just tell us next time! I roundhouse kicked Athena in the face and you didn't even see it!"
"Really? That's amazing! I'm so sorry I missed it," he apologized, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "You'll just have to catch her by surprise and do it again, eh?"
"I doubt that'll happen," Athena piped up, crossing her arms.
"I wouldn't underestimate him," Odysseus praised, slinging an arm around his shoulder as they walked back to the clearing.
"Yeah Athena, don't underestimate me!" Telemachus taunted, sticking his tongue out at her from behind his father's back. She scoffed, eyes widening in shock.
"That's it, you're in time out when we get back!" she scolded.
"WHAT? You can't do that!" he yelled, a blush quickly spreading across his face as his father's laughter filled the air.
"Shehehe put you in time out!" he giggled, patting his son's back comfortingly.
"Don't laugh," he whined, but the smile on his face told him he didn't really mind. After all, he had barely heard him laugh since he returned.
"On the contrary, laugh it up Odysseus," Athena said, but something about her tone made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. "When we get back, it's your turn."
"I don't know," he trailed off, hesitant to accept.
"You gotta! I never get to see you fight!" Telemachus begged, and he caved.
"Well if you insist. But go easy on me, I'm not as young and spry as I used to be," he said, and now it was Athena's turn to laugh. She threw her head back as she cackled, loud and hearty. She wiped a tear from her eye, glancing over to see matching quizzical expressions.
"Wait, you're serious? After what you did to Poseidon? Absolutely not," she deadpanned.
"You fought Poseidon?" Telemachus practically screamed in his ear, making him flinch away.
"You mean you haven't told him? If you ask me, that should've been the first story you shared," Athena mused.
"Come on, you gotta tell me what happened!" he hopped in place and shook his father by the shoulders until he relented with a chuckle.
"Well, it's kinda a long story. One you'll hear at dinner so your mother can enjoy it too," he deflected.
"Boooo!" Telemachus whined, giving him a thumbs down. "You can tell it twice!"
"He just wouldn't let me go home! So I stabbed him until he called off his storm," he huffed out, telling an abridged version to satisfy his son.
"With his own trident," she added. Telemachus stared at his father in awe.
"Whoa," he said breathlessly. Odysseus rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.
"What can I say? I had limited options," he shrugged, ducking his head down.
"Why so bashful all of a sudden?" Athena asked, cocking her head as she looked down at him. Odysseus gawked, face turning red.
"What? I am not!"
"If you say so," she conceded. "Now, what's do you say you and I have a go, just like old times?" she asked, shooting Telemachus a wink out of the other's sight. He arched a brow quizzically, unsure of what plan she had brewing up. But whatever it was, he wanted in on it.
"You're on."
Athena lulled him into a false sense of security, sparring bantering back and forth before she struck. She dodged his attack, managing to disarm him as she spun around, locking one arm beneath his and held the back of his neck as she held his own sword to his throat with the other.
"Alright, you win," he held his hands up in, surrender, furrowing his brows when she didn't move. "Um... did I... do something wrong?" he questioned, not daring to move an inch.
"Not at all. I just noticed you seemed a little down today."
"Athena," he warned, tensing with a gasp as she squeezed the back of his neck. Telemachus watched on curiously.
"Do you remember my lessons on morale?" she asked, ignoring the threat.
Odysseus was squirming now, tugging at her arms, but she held firm.
"Come on 'Thena, not here," he whined, voice dropped to nearly a whisper. The nickname melted her heart, and made her feel only a little guilty for what she was about to do.
"You mean not in front of the kid?" she taunted, waiting until he opened his mouth to speak before scribbling at the nape of his neck.
Odysseus yelped and flailed around in her hold, scrunching his neck for protection.
"Hey stop! What are you doing to him?" Telemachus protested as he saw his father struggle in Athena's hold. From where he sat, it looked as though she was about to snap his neck. She flashed him a sly, knowing smile.
"Yeah Odysseus, what am I doing?" she asked in such a playful tone, even Telemachus hadn't heard.
"Huh?" he cocked his head, confusion knitting his brows together.
Odysseus clamped his mouth shut, but a wobbly smile tugged at the corners of his lips. She tossed the practice weapon aside, scratching just behind his ears with both hands. He snorted and tossed his head around, grimacing as he tried to contain the giggles building up inside his chest.
"Come on, you're usually so talkative," Athena prompted, reaching around to flutter under his chin. He threw himself back to try and get away, but only succeeded in leaning against Athena's chest for support, feet frantically pushing against the ground as he fought to escape.
Telemachus watched on with a growing smile as he realized what was happening.
"Wait, father, are you ticklish?" he asked, not bothering to hide his excitement.
"No!" Odysseus choked out, yelping when Athena reached down to tweak his hip.
"Ignore him, he loves to lie. But you didn't think you got your sensitivity from your mother, did you?" she asked, somehow finding a way to tease both of them at once. Telemachus looked away, cheeks dusted a light pink.
"Well, yeah, kinda," he admitted, unable to take his eyes off the pair. Athena rolled her eyes fondly, easily evading the frantic hands slapping at her wrists.
"You share more similarities with your father than you might think," she said, shooting him another wink. Odysseus shoved at her arms as they wrapped around his waist, shrieking when she picked him up off the ground.
"No! Put me dohohown! Stohohop!" he broke down into deep chuckles that were quickly melting into hysterical giggles. Telemachus had only ever heard his father laugh like that when he told terrible jokes, but he had always kind of assumed he was playing it up for his behalf. He didn't know he actually giggled like that! It was a funny, infectious laugh that seemed adorably out of place.
"Careful what you ask for," Athena smirked before dropping him to the ground, quickly pinning his arms above his head. He desperately pulled at his arms, surprisingly strong despite being mortal. "You sure are struggling a lot. I think I might need some help," Athena raised her voice, making the hint as unsubtle as possible. Telemachus was by their side in a heartbeat, sporting a mischievous smirk.
Odysseus could only grin wider as he shook his head. "Son, wait! She's ticklish too, wouldn't you rather go after a God?" he tried to bargain by deflecting the attention onto Athena, who scoffed in disbelief.
"Excuse me?" She drilled her thumbs in the center of his exposed pits for even suggesting such a thing. Telemachus ignored his father's screams for mercy, tapping his chin as he considered the offer.
"Sounds tempting, but you're the one pinned down," he reasoned with a shrug, planting himself on his kicking legs. Athena held up a hand for an approving fist bump.
"Wise choice."
He grinned as he knocked their knuckles together, adding a few extra slaps and bumps. Athena's hand just hovered there awkwardly, not copying any of the steps he taught her. He shrugged, "Eh, still needs some work."
Telemachus wasted no more time and latched onto his knees, squeezing around the bone. Odysseus snorted and tried to kick his trapped legs, barely able to move them an inch. He couldn't help but laugh along at his reactions, noting, "Wow, mom was right! You do have a funny laugh!"
His words sparked a blush to spread across his cheeks as he cried out in protest, "Shehehe sahaid whahahat?" Logically, Odysseus knew Penelope talked about him while he was away, or at least, he hoped she would. But she really talked about him, not just the legends he left behind. She humanized him...
Maybe a little too much, but still.
"No no, she said it in a good way!" Telemachus assured, spidering over his knees with blunt nails. Odysseus wheezed, drumming his legs against the ground to cope with the ticklish jolts shooting through his nerves.
"I agree Odysseus, your laughter is quite endearing. It's such a shame we don't hear it more often," Athena chimed in. He whined through his giggles, unable to pull his arms down from where she had them pinned. She traced maddening circles against his exposed hollows, making him squeal and arch his back. But no matter how hard he tried, he remained trapped between his son and his friend.
Granted, he might not be trying all that hard. What? He hadn't laughed like this in years, so sue him. And Telemachus seemed to be having fun, so why stop him?
He shook his head in denial, blushing profusely at her words. "Nohoho ihihit's nohoHOHOHOT!"  Loud cackles abruptly gave way to a hysterical shriek as Athena began scratching the spot just behind his ears with long, sharp nails. A stream of giggles and snorts spilled past his lips, nose scrunching adorably.
"I don't know, you sound pretty cute right about now," she drawled, leaning over him to "inspect" his face. Odysseus giggled and tried to look away, failing to protect his now exposed ear with his shoulder.
"'Thehehenaha!" he whined, sounding all too giddy to actually mean anything by it.
"Yep, you look cute too-"
"Ohoho just shut up!"
Athena mock gasped, and Telemachus covered his mouth in shock.
"Uh oh," he teased in a sing song tone, poking all around his stomach. He twitched with each touch, pulling on his arms desperately each time he felt that nagging finger wiggle into the slight pudge of his belly.
"Oh you're gonna regret that," Athena growled playfully. She turned his head to the side, keeping him pinned with one hand. She took a loud, exaggerated breath just so he would know what was coming.
His eyes widened in giddy fear and his thrashing grew stronger once he connected the dots. Empty protests fell past his lips, "No, no wahahait! I'm sohorry, I'm sorryyyy! Plehease dooooon't!" He was already giggling, and his smile only grew wider.
Telemachus couldn't help but laugh along and tease, "She hasn't even touched you yet!"
"Bullshit! You both HAHAHAHAVE! Ohohokahay, oKAHAY! I GEHEHET IHIHIT!" he squealed as Athena leaned in to blow a loud, obnoxious raspberry on the side of his neck. She grabbed his hair and moved his head so she could get the other side.
Not wanting to be left out, Telemachus clawed at his father's stomach, encouraged by his hysterical laughter. Odysseus jolted in place, unable to curl in on himself for protection. The only thing he could do was kick frantically and laugh his heart out.
Which, unfortunately for him, caught his son's attention.
"Great idea, dad! Can't forget about the feet!" he taunted, wrestling his legs down to untie his sandals.
"Nohoho, plehehease! Ihi don't deserve thihihis!" he pleaded, hiding his face behind a pinned arm. Athena snorted in amusement and pulled away to stare down at her friend.
"Actually, if anyone deserves a good laugh, it would be you," she said, her tone softer, yet still teasing.
"Hehehey!" he whined at the remark, his blush now reaching the tips of his ears.
"Yeah, laughing at your own jokes doesn't really count," Telemachus added, raking blunt nails down his arches.
"HEHEHEY!" Odysseus shrieked indignantly at the comment. He tried to keep his feet planted on the ground, but all it took was a quick scribble against the backs of his knees to get him kicking again. "Ihihit counts!" he insisted through deep, rumbly chuckles.
Both Athena and Telemachus rolled their eyes. Telemachus decided to take it a step further and shrugged, unable to hide his smirk.
"Does it though?" he asked skeptically. Before Odysseus could answer, he scratched just beneath his toes. Odysseus cackled wildly, thrashing around as best he could, bucking hard enough to throw Telemachus off.
Athena took that as her cue to back off as well, releasing his arms from where they were pinned. He either didn't have the strength to pull them down, or he just didn't care at this point.
Odysseus let out a giggly groan, throwing his head back against the ground. "You two ahare thehehe worst!" he spoke through residual giggles, but didn't mean a word of what he said.
"Yeah, but I learned from the best!" Telemachus quipped, reaching out to pinch his side one last time. Odysseus jerked away, finally yanking his arms down as he barked out a laugh.
Odysseus scoffed in amusement, a wide smile still plastered on his face. He doubted it would be going anywhere for a long time.
He shook his head fondly, gently shoving at his son's shoulder. "You're a real piece of work. Both of you," he added, shooting Athena a playful glare.
Athena decided not to say anything... to him. She just smirked and addressed Telemachus, as if Odysseus wasn't even there. "Notice how he said just about everything except stop," she noted smugly, and Telemachus muffled his giggles behind his hands.
Odysseus gasped, his fading blush quickly returning. "Well- I- you two looked like you were having fun," he justified with a huff, crossing his arms as he looked away.
"Like you weren't!" Telemachus goaded, throwing his arms around him in a bear hug, rocking side to side.
He couldn't help but give in to the smile tugging at his lips. "It was coerced." Telemachus laughed and shoved him away.
"Oh whatever!"
"Regardless," Athena piped up, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, "It's... refreshing, hearing you laugh again." Odysseus placed a hand atop her own, leaning into the touch.
"Yeah well, you better not make it a habit. There's easier ways to make me laugh, you know," he sassed.
"Ah, but this is the most entertaining," she shot back.
He turned to Telemachus, pointing with his thumb at Athena over his shoulder. "See what I mean? Piece of work."
"Careful, or I'll go for round two," she warned.
"Maybe tomorrow. After all, I believe I'm overdue for some revenge."
"Is that so?" she cocked her head, and Odysseus nodded smugly.
"Yup."
"Well then, you'll have to earn it," she teased, standing up and offering him a hand.
"And you better watch your back, because the tickle monster strikes when you least expect it," he threatened, pointing at Telemachus.
He giggled nervously and took a step back, a pale blush dusting his cheeks. "I'll uh, keep my guard up."
The response made Odysseus throw his head back with a hearty chuckle. He threw an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer and ruffling his hair.
"Just relax. You won't even see it coming."
"That's not as comforting as you think it is," he deadpanned.
"It wasn't meant to be," Odysseus quipped, and Athena had to stifle a snicker at the comment. "But I believe it's about time we head back for dinner."
Telemachus whined, even though he knew his father was right.
"We'll pick up where we left off tomorrow," she promised.
"Or you could join us," Odysseus invited after a moment's hesitation. The offer took her off guard, but she softened nonetheless.
"Really? I wouldn't want to intrude…"
"Come on, 'Thena! It'll be fun!" Telemachus encouraged, tugging on her arm.
"Yeah, and you'll get to hear the story about how I stabbed your uncle until he cried."
"In that case, how could I resist?"
The three walked back to the palace, chatting all the way. It may very well be true that Athena and Telemachus were closer than they had ever been, but that doesn't mean the friendship wasn't still there. And Telemachus thought the world of him, that much was made clear.
Now that he thought about it, he didn't know why he had been so worried in the first place. He was home, he was loved, and that's all that matters.
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cosmicdreamgrl · 1 year ago
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oceanwithouthermoon · 14 days ago
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its actually insane to me how many people are willing to wholeheartedly believe that something is bad without knowing what it is 😭 if you have "proshippers dni" in your bio, i dont think youre a bad person but i do immediately assume youre a little stupid 😖 you guys get so caught up in associating a word with something you saw or something someone else told you, you dont realize youre literally saying "if youre anti-harassment, GET OFF MY BLOG 😝"
i get that the label has been watered down by people who just use it as an excuse to be shitty online and harass people under the guise of moral superiority, but those people are just freaks and by definition arent even proshippers 😭 so can we not like ENCOURAGE false information by making everyone in the world believe thats what a proshipper is
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my-thoughts-and-junk · 2 months ago
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hate when i see a youtube video that's like 'analyzing why [thing] is bad!' and you watch the video and they just say nothing for twenty minutes
#random thoughts#watched a video on why a specific character was poor representation for survivors of assault#and it was such a nothing burger of a video#'this character is bad because children might see them and think their behavior is okay' okay?#i learned how to block out memories from finn adventure time but that doesn't mean memory suppression shouldn't be addressed in media#plus hazbin hotel. i'm talking about angel dust btw if that wasn't blaringly obvious. is an adult cartoon. for adults#adult cartoons shouldn't have to restrict their subject matter because kids could see it#and angel dust being a male queer SA victim using hypersexuality as a coping mechanism could be good!#and the fact he hits on other people despite it making them uncomfortable isn't exactly a problem a la his character?#it could be a control thing. i used to do something similar (pushing other people's boundaries and complaining when they pushed back)#because it made me feel some kind of control over my life#it could start off as a really shitty joke and then grow into 'oh god is that why he does that??'#but anyway their second main point was that the songs were bad? and that poison being an upbeat song makes it bad#like despite listing many other songs which are upbeat with heavy lyrics. but somehow poison is the exception because it's a cartoon?#like again that could be a character thing. angel dust using obfuscation as a coping mechanism to distract himself from his shitty life.#。・゚゚・the lyrics are upbeat to distract you from how dead i feel inside・゚゚・。#and their reading of the second song seemed really mean-spirited?#like as 'everyone has problems so you're not special because you're a whiny baby' rather than 'you're not as alone as you think you are'#and like if op wanted to just complain about a show they watched then yeah go off i do that all the time#but don't parade it as character analysis???#and they say 'oh reading it as a feelgood you're not alone message doesn't work because these characters' struggles are not equal'#but like. sometimes rape needs to feel like it's not some special trauma. it's not unique and you're not uniquely fucked up for it#two characters' traumas don't need to be directly comparable for them to bond!!!#and im not like. defending hazbin hotel btw. never seen it not going to see it no thanks#i'm just complaining about a mediocre youtube video that i'm going to forget about in a week#god i hate that brand of youtube video. where they just complain about things without going into depth about why they're bad#especially if their complaints are shallow and don't have to do with like. the actual structure of a character or story#like it's so easy to say 'this character is bad because theyre a predatory stereotype' but like. go into some depth at least#i think i hate these videos so much because they're fueled purely by hate. no love for the source material or even a desire to learn#or a love for storytelling even
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angelstrawbabie420 · 4 months ago
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in my quest to quell my pain ive only hurt myself worse. damned if i do damned if i dont.
#i need better coping mechanisms but it’s so easy to just turn to substances when you’ve never learned how to cope w your emotions#and physical pain. however a lot of it has been brought on by the substance abuse aka i did it to myself#so i probably deserve it#but i started with them in the first place to get rid of pain that was so overwhelming and constant#it feels like every time i do something to preserve myself im punished for it#and im so sick of it. i cant believe its gotten this bad#i drink to help the pain -> i get hungover and the pain is way worse -> i drink to stop that pain#and the worst part is it always works#realistically ive depended on substances for like a decade#i started drinking at 13 and fell into a rut of alcoholism at like 15/16#my mom was going thru a phase of alcoholism and roped me into it so bad if be woken up by her bringing me a drink at 9 am#and we’d drink till she passed out and i had to walk her to bed and cook for everyone and do all the chores#it went on for months one summer#then it was weed and i smoked every day from like 18-22#only thing thwt stopped me from drinking until i started again after both my parents died#i havent recovered since.#im still so traumatized and depressed that i looked for any method of relief#the dph phase was the worst. i think alc is even better than that lmfao it was horrible#once i got access to alc i stopped all that. wouldnt have if i hadnt had alc tho#it’s honestly been one addiction after the other for a decade#and my parents fueled so much of it#‘oh id rarher you drink under my eye than do it behind my back’#BRUH YOU WOULDNT LET ME GO ANYWHERE OR DO ANYTHING. HOW WOULD THWT HAVE HAPPENED#crazy how i was obsessed w drugs and shit by the time i was 10 and i remember thinking wow im gojna grow up to be an addict.#why am i so irreparably fucked up#idk whatever. like im not gonna drink abt it lmao.
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dayurno · 3 months ago
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kerejean haters au?! not just keremy haters okayyyy. jeremy is insane so i won’t question how he gets around his convoluted feelings for jean but how does jean ever get over jeremy being a raven? i guess he isn’t anymore but the ravens were famously really bad to jean right? was jeremy not really involved in that?
jeremy being a raven is kevin being a raven is neil being a raven, jean spent so long in that place he can’t really avoid the fact that some of them were and are important to him. as for the second part of your question: jeremy never went out of his way to hurt jean in the nest and most of their clashes while ravens were surface level spats, but that doesn’t mean jeremy liked him either. perhaps if jeremy had been more relevant to the lineup or higher in the ravens’ hierarchy he would have been worse to jean, but as it was he wasn’t in a position to antagonize anyone, especially considering he was going through his own thing with the ravens
jeremy gets outed in the nest pretty early on, and being a sub striker with almost no court time already puts him in a position to be picked on by the others—he has to deal with a lot of ridicule pretty much from the get go, and the homophobic abuse gets worse the longer he stays in the nest. in a way him and jean were in very similar positions in the ravens’ social standing, but jeremy didn’t have the exy skill nor the perfect court title to fall back on, which means he was probably the easiest target of all for the ravens to let off some steam if they wanted to. in most cases jeremy gave as good as he got, and he stood stronger than i think anybody could in the face of relentless social ridicule, but this cost him a lot of the softness he came with and left him the joyless distrustful paranoid mess we see arrive to kevin’s doorstep in palmetto. he was only as awful to jean in the nest as he was allowed to be, which is not much when you’re even lower than he is in the raven hierarchy
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cacturne · 1 year ago
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“Carmine is not the worst” and “kieran is not the worst” are statements that can and should co-exist
#Its always either “carmine did nothing wrong kieran is a stupid unhinged brat!” Or “kieran did nothing wrong carmine is literally abusive!!”#No. Theyre not. Neither of them are. Theyre just nd/mentally ill and cope with it badly#Its really not that hard come on#Also as an older sister with a younger brother a lot of the mean dialogue is pretty typical#Obviously that doesnt negate the fact that for kieran it hit him in his issues but he never spoke up about it and kept it to himself#And carmine is pretty dense and a bit in her own head so it makes sense that she wouldnt notice without being directly told#And with her specifically its made clear in dialogue throughout that she does care about her brother#She thinks about how in her mind things might affect him and chooses what she thinks is the option that wont hurt him. Though obviously#shes not the best judge there. But thats understandable she isnt very good at reading people#And kieran just doesnt know how to cope with his problems. When stuff gets too much he bursts and lashes out. A normal thing for a teenager#Obviously this now frightens carmine and she starts backing down distancing herself and generally just closes up around him#Because while she is abrasive she doesnt really *realize* she is. And its easy to see kierans abrasiveness as something inherently hostile#(Because even if he doesnt really mean it it still is aggressive)#Hey wait a second why am i infodumping about kieran and carmine pokemon in my tags#This is like the worst way to do it. Sorry cutting it short ty for reading if you did#ghosts howling
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candyn-gutz · 8 months ago
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i was doing good for a few days why am i back here again
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navy-heart · 3 months ago
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I don't think little me would be proud of where now-me is now because I haven't done many, many things I wished for, but one thing they can be proud of is getting myself out of my debilitating social anxiety pit. Not being able to take a bus at 14 because buying a ticket sends you into a panic attack & now sitting through a job interview and being mostly confident and fine through like 90% of it? That's huge.
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mishkakagehishka · 5 months ago
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I still feel so angry and indignant at times about something that happened months ago. I need to learn to let go of shit i think.
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robotpussy · 2 years ago
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like im sorry i wanted to know if the vague fandom post wasn't just somebody complaining about being told to not be racist/antisemitic/transphobic with their fanart and fanfictions and you took it personally
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julesnichols · 1 year ago
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The irony is not lost on me that while my RSD is still Very Much A Thing, it's something I'm slowly but surely struggling learning to push past and learning to walk away from a situation when it's getting to be too much and accepting it's a me problem but that also rejection is a part of life and I can't just shut down and reject other people and things before they reject me etc etc
That the Thing tm I'm having an anxiety attack over the possibility of being rejected here involves somebody who was like a mentor and who knew me at My Worst and Most Cringe (14-18, undiagnosed bipolar disorder, even worse RSD and misunderstanding of boundaries and had yet to learn coping techniques for any of that), and who still was in my life for a While after the fact before we both got busy, so presumably they'll want to help, and if they can't it won't be because they secretly hate me
AND YET
Here I am, having anxiety
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cainite-bite · 2 years ago
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Here’s my gaming hot take;
im so saddened, and sick and tired of the fact that so many games are being flooded with chuds who want to turn everything competitive and don’t know how to fucking have fun
“I only play to climb ranks/win for a team/will scream insults if you aren’t in a clan” thats fine and dandy but you keep joining matches and staying in matches with like 9 other players who do not give a flying fuck and would rather not deal with your howler monkey ass screaming at the top of your lungs when you die once and decide to rage quit. Most people don’t care about your K-D or the fact you’re in some superficial and stupid clan full of other fragile egos. Learn to have fun instead of compensating for the fact you never bothered to practice anything else to become skilled in and can’t make your parents proud of you with literally anything (and thus screaming at others to take it out on them).
And I hate the fact that devs, sometimes much to their own detriment, are trying to cater to the merry little band of shrieking donkeys by gearing up all their shit for just that and trying to pretend the casual crowd isn’t there
#its like the whole difficulty setting thing with how many wanna launch into the whole we have NORMAL AND SUPER HARD AND LEGENDARY#and mock the people who chose normal still and pretend they're a niche batch of cry wimps#but the reality is normal was still the highest played shit but you gotta poke at your core base to look cool to the loud posers#hell even EA went over their one new games when the chuds were pretending the hardcore mode was more popular than super easy#and saying super easy should be taken off#and turned out there was 10% more playing super easy than the hardcore one which had a whopping small 4% of players#not that either should be removed but its the same concept of shit flinging to try and appear cool and awesome#and meanwhile they just eat their own foot#but anyways im sick and tired of just hearing these fucking asshole rambo wannabes#and if they all just died out and never had to hear one scream obscenities into the mic and verbally abuse others i would be happier#especially with the pathetic crowd who do this with co-op games of all things#like what was the point of shouting slurs and saying everyone ruined everything because you ran off on your own#and got killed by a boomer in l4d2#if you take shit this seriously and verbally abuse people every time you play a game then you need to get the fuck off#if dying in a game once reduces you to punching a wall or breaking a controller/keyboard you need to get the fuck off#and you desperately need to learn better ways to cope with your life because normal people are NOT like this
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worstsequence · 2 years ago
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get your eddie munson activism threads ready for october 31st
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sumarmz · 4 months ago
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I want a new name smth that isn't attached to my irl name bc sumarmz is a deviation of a nickname of Sumayah and i like my name I just want another that I can choose for myself
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jusque-ici-tout-va · 7 months ago
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