#that somehow figured out how to actually dye his hair

[daydreamerwonderkid]

To the authors who write scenes and/or make references to Jason attempting to dye his white streak and failing:

I see you. I feel you. And I, too, love Jason being cursed with his permanent skunk hair.

[xeeljii]

CURRENTS ⋆⭒˚.⋆

PART 2: Let It Happen

WARNING! Explicit RPF! 

IMPORTANT!!! You have to read PART 1 before this or it won't make sense! ⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

Summary: You and Joost were never lovers, never friends but something in the middle that ended up hurting more, you meet again years later and many things have changed but others stay the same. 

Word count: 14,4k

CW: 18+, f! reader, past friends with benefits, mutual pining, jealousy, yearning so much yearning, angst with a happy ending? who knows…you will have to read I guess (๑>؂•̀๑)⋆˙⟡

You had said yes to dinner, that was unexpected. Some part of him thought you would hang up or curse him out and then hung up but you didn’t and somehow that scared him worse. It meant that you were truly unbothered by this, that he was just an old fling who had no further impact on your life and that you were totally calm about this unlike him, who hadn’t been able to stop thinking about you for a single minute since the call. That was not the reality at all but he couldn’t know that. You had kept your old number, that was the first surprise actually, he had heard from an acquittance from those days that you were back who had heard it from a friend of a friend and he wasn’t sure if it was true but he wanted it to be. He had called to the number he weirdly remembered by heart and had waited with sweaty hands while it rang, when he heard your voice he felt a strange sense of warm envelop him for the first time in years. 

Joost was eager to see you and felt a nervous at the same time. He knew things ended up badly between the two of you, but the truth is that there really wasn’t any clear line of what you were, so how could there ever be a good ending?. Regardless, now you were back and he felt he could finally face you, if anything he just wanted to know you were doing alright and maybe you had even found someone you loved in the time you were apart, then maybe he could put all his pent up feelings to rest and move on, emphasis on the maybe. 

He had gotten a table at a much nicer restaurant than he thinks the two of you ever went to, in truth those days the best he would do was get take out to your tiny apartment before or right after you had sex. He wonders if he ever properly took you out on a date and the answer is no, he didn’t. He had been immature and self centered without even realizing and you were far too good for him, he didn’t understand why you even wasted your time on him when so clearly many other better candidates were holding out a candle for you and yet you chose him, always.

He arrived earlier than the meeting time, he was bad at timing in those days and he still was, but wanted, no, needed, to make a good impression so he made the effort and waited on held breath until he saw your familiar figure entering the restaurant. You hadn’t changed much and at the same time you were totally unrecognizable, more regal, elegant and beautiful than he remembered. It seemed like you had grown into every one of your features even more dazzling than before and carried yourself with so much grace it felt like you were floating. 

He was taller, maybe it was just you memory playing tricks on you, he had kept the mustache but everything else was different. His hair was longer, cut into a mullet, you remember how he had mentioned wanting one as a child, it is the same color as when you met him, which means he kept dyeing it or had dyed it recently, he was wearing chunky glasses, when you met him he would refuse to and would just walk around half blind, he was dressed differently and he was more handsome than you wanted to admit. It would be a lie to say you didn’t keep an eye on him through the years, secretly proud of his successes and uncharacteristically anxious about his failures. But he had thrown you out and there was no reason to let him know that, answering his call like a good loyal dog was humiliating enough.

“Hi.” He gets up to greet you and speaks all cheerfully, way too excited to contain it, part of him thought you would stand him up which wouldn’t be fully underserved but he is ecstatic that you are actually here.

“Hey.” You reply with a small smile escaping your lips.

He opens his arms, wants to hug you so bad, he has missed you so terribly but you just extend you hand for him to shake. His face drops a little but he composes himself quickly and shakes your hand back with a faked smiled pulled taut on his lips so you won’t see how disappointed he is, your skin is so soft and warm his memories didn’t do you justice.

“You look really beautiful.” He says, it stumbles out of his mouth, he doesn’t know if it is not the right thing to say but he means it, truthfully with the years passing his memory of you had gotten fuzzy and seeing the real you in the flesh in front of him is a lot to take in.

You smile back at him, there is the smallest blush on your cheeks, almost undetectable, back when you first met he would enjoy making you blush over everything and anything it was so easy and he loved pulling your hands away from you face when you tried to hide it.

“You look good yourself Joost.” His hand tightens a little on yours, hearing you say his name sends a wave of nostalgia over him that threatens to knock him over, maybe he wasn’t strong enough to face you but you are here all the same.

He helps you sit, pulls your chair and calls for the waiter. You order and the waiter disappears again after bringing you your drinks, you talk a bit about everything, what you have been up to, what he has been up to, you mention the place you had moved to, how your career had grown, the job you have now, he talks about the places he has been to, the cool artists he has met and the Eurovision thing, he skims right through it even though you know from the whole press and the sad expression on his face that it was a fresh wound. You feel a little sad that he will not talk about it with you, but even in the days when you shared a bed he was so cagey you couldn’t expect him to open up now out of all times, so you just let him change the subject without a fight. 

The dinner feels awkward, not entirely bad but not entirely good either, you had known each other for little under a year so you tried to make the same questions you would for an old acquaintance but it didn’t help that he had gotten more handsome and mature and kept distracting you with his shiny smile. You eat in silence for a bit unsure of what to say, you weren’t old friends but you weren’t exactly strangers either. It was far too weird to try to keep this fake diplomacy with someone who had seen you naked so many times but it was even weirded to try to pull conversation out of him when every word and every question felt like you were walking on shaky ground.

“You-your new album was good.” You say after a while starting to feel the tension is too heavy, your words tumble and crash on each other, you speak too fast, your hands are sweaty and maybe you will faint, but at this point it would be better, a nice dramatic exit to the night and then tomorrow you would change your phone number and never hear from him again.

“You listened to it?” He looks at you genuinely surprised like he didn’t expect it all all, he looks so eager to know what you thought, in the old days music talk was the only time you felt he was really honest with you and this feels so familiar a wave of nostalgia softens you.

“Yeah, I did tell you I liked your music that one time.” You smile at him before looking away avoiding his bright eyes. “And I didn’t say that just to get you in bed mind you.” He laughs.

He had always liked that about you, you had a quick mind and would be able to talk about anything and make it funny, he was happy to hear your stories. Now years later and much learning in between he had finally realized what he had truly lost and it hurt like a thorn deep in his heart. He would dream about you, not often truly, but it happened a few times through the years in a way that made him think about you when it was the last thing he wanted to do. In dreams he would see you impossibly bright, laughing at something stupid he said and by god did he say a lot of stupid things on those days, or in the shower talking about something one of your friends had done, while he just wordlessly admired the soft curves of your figure covered in drops of water, he would see you in bed sleeping with drool coming out of the corner of your mouth that he would wipe before you raised because you would get shy and flustered if you realized on your own when you woke up. He feels his heart swell in a way that it it hasn’t in years, you are sitting across from him looking so pretty under the candlelights, he remembers you younger, sitting on the tiny table at the kitchen of your apartment, stealing food from his plate and laughing at the TV, he wishes he could have kept that forever, the place that felt like home. 

“Are you seeing someone?” He asks all of a sudden, he knows he shouldn’t, he is pushing his luck too far and yet can’t stop himself.

“You don’t get to ask that.” You shake your head.

“We are catching up, right? It is a normal catching up question.” He says with an awkward laugh more trying to justify himself than anything.

You don’t know what to answer, you had obviously had other relationships in the mean time it was not like you were eternally holding hope that one day he would remember the old toy he left hanging somewhere and come back and pick you up, but now of all times you were single. Lying didn’t feel right and telling the truth didn’t either. Maybe somewhere in the middle will do.

“I have been on a few dates.” You say careful with every world, if you had been looking at him instead of avoiding his gaze perhaps you could have seen the way his shoulders dropped but you missed it.

“I see.” He replies drily, regrets the question instantly perhaps he would be better off not knowing.

“What about you?”

“No.”

You crook an eyebrow at him. “Really now Mr. International Superstar?”

He looks up at you, finds you wearing an amused face, perhaps being friends is still okay, no matter how much his heart aches for you he doesn’t want to fully lose you from his life ever again. 

“I’m not the type.” He replies shaking his head lightly, you roll your eyes at him.

“Okay.” You say tone full of sarcasm perhaps it comes out more bitter than you mean it to be, even in the past you had not been together and now you have even less of a reason to give him attitude. 

“I’m serious.” He says a little indignant. “I mean obviously I’ve been with people but I just-” He stops himself halfway through, you look at him even more curious now.

“You just what?” You ask.

“Nothing.” He goes back to dig on his plate.

I just cannot meet someone like you. Is what he leaves unsaid, you shrug and continue eating in awkward silence. He remembers all the things he left unsaid before, how he wanted to but didn’t think you would want to hear it, how he was so unsure of himself he didn’t want to fuck up, too scared of rejection he didn’t even dare try and how because of all that, he lost you and he refuses to let that happen again so he gathers as much courage as he can and says. 

“Actually, I just haven’t met someone like you.”

You choke a little on your food, you can never recall a time where he would ever be so honest and can’t figure out why he would be now, you look at him with wide eyes. Your brain works hard to make sense of what he is saying. You didn’t understand why he wanted you back then and now that he has even more options it makes even less sense, you feel stupid and small again, it makes you angry. You laugh bitterly.

“I’m serious.”

You try to hold back your anger and take a deep breath before replying. “I don’t know I- I wouldn’t know Joost, I don’t really think we ever got to know each other.” You shrug slightly and smile sadly at him.

That hurts him more deeply than you can imagine and the fact that you are right is worse. 

“I always regretted how things happened between us.” He says, sounds truthful enough but you can’t help yourself or the bitter feelings that fill your heart now.

He sounds so far off from the guy you had met, it feels like he might be an entirely different person playing a prank on you, but when you look back at him you see those same baby blue eyes that would find you in the night it sends a pang of pain to your heart.

“It is whatever.” You say, drinking from your glass trying to keep it together. You feel like an idiot right now, you shouldn’t have come, it was a bad idea.

You feel like yourself of four years ago again, and she sucked. She was not very smart and she was so stupidly in love with this guy, she had made you answer his call eager to see him again and now it was you who had to take charge of her bad decisions.

“I really am sorry.” He moves to grab your hand. You feel the back of your eyes prickling uncomfortably, maybe you weren’t so over him as you liked to pretend.

“Okay.” You say, not knowing what else to say as you pull your hand away, his touch feels like it burns. He looks truly regretful, you shouldn’t have blown off the handle like that and you know better than it, but the younger you is so eager to see him again she seems to keep popping out and makes you act unlike yourself.

You finish your meals, still talk about mundane stuff, how moving was a nightmare, he tells you he has moved a bunch, he is an expert and he should write a book about it, he is ridiculous in an endearing way, that hasn’t changed at all. You wish somewhere in your heart that he will meet someone who makes him happy, who can match his wit, who will laugh at his jokes and make sure he eats at least one proper meal a day because you suspect somehow that he still not very good at taking care of himself. You wish well for him because somewhere inside your heart he still has a place and you still feel so much tenderness for him it chokes you up a little bit.

The waiter takes the plates away, Joost pays for your meals and opens the door for you, had he ever been that gentlemanly? No, not really. Again this new version of him seems to be making you dizzy.

“Can I walk you home?” He asks as you exit the restaurant.

“Sure, yeah I would like that thanks.” You accept because if this is the last time you will see him you want to extend it a little more, be a little selfish for your younger self she deserves to stare at him for a little longer so she can finish memorizing all pretty landmarks of his pretty face.

You walk together slowly like you are both trying to prolong the inevitable goodbye as much as you can. He points you to new places that have opened and also the once that closed since you were gone, he recommends some so you can go later, secretly wishes he could be the one to take you there. He misses all the mundane with you, after you he never really got to experience that with anyone else and felt like he didn’t even want to, too scared to muddy his memories with you. The further away from home he got the more he wanted to come back and the more that feeling grew the more he realized he would never again meet someone like you.

In those days you had thought he was a little out of your league, he had though you were a little out of his. You never seemed to quiet connect perfectly like pieces of a puzzle being forced to fit together by greedy hands, now, with more life experience under your belt you wonder if that is even a real possibility and maybe you were just being unrealistic in your expectations. Now, you are looking at him with new eyes and he seems to be a really good guy, not prince charming, not straight out a romance movie but just him, just Joost and that is somehow better than any stupid fantasy. 

He keeps stealing little glances at you like he is trying to commit you to memory, like any moment now you will disappear into a cloud. And maybe he isn’t so wrong you have already done that before and you distantly think if things would have been any different if instead of running away you would have faced him head on, even if it didn’t fix anything it probably would have given you better closure than what you have right now.

He feels this weird soft sadness envelop him the longer he looks at you, your hair is different, there are almost unnoticeable scars on your hands maybe from cooking you were always a little reckless with the knives, your face has grown even more beautiful and he can’t help but feel so lonely when he realizes he missed all of that, that he could have seen you grow and change right in front of him like a little plant on the windowsill and he missed it for his own lack of courage. He sees tiny goosebumps form on your arms, remembers how you were always bad at taking a jacket with you when you went out and that one at least seems to not have changed which makes him smile, you are not a total stranger after all. 

He chucks off his blazer and rests it on your shoulders without a word, you feel his scent envelop you so suddenly that you feel you might truly pass out now. 

This image of you on one of his hoodies sitting on bed while he plays you one of his new songs pops up in his mind so clearly he feels he has turned back time and he truly wishes he could.

“I wish we had met at a different time.” He says not looking at you, he fears if he sees the rejection on your face it will be too much. 

“Yeah? I don’t think you should think like that.” You say kicking a little rock down the street to distract yourself from how overflowed with emotions this whole thing makes you feel.

“How come?” He stops on his tracks to look at you.

“Well, nothing would change, we just wouldn’t work.” You shrug like you are just stating facts it angers him a little truly.

“Well I'm different now, you are too.” He says plainly. 

“You can’t know that from a dinner.” You laugh genuinely for the first time in the night, he hasn’t heard that sound in so long he wants to record it keep it in his heart forever even if you don’t want to talk to him ever again he wants to at least keep that.

“But I can, you are more mature and smarter and more beautiful too.”

You properly snort at that last one even thought he is being honest. You shake your head and turn around to look at him.

“The bleach melted your brain.” You scrunch your nose and raise a hand up to shake the soft strands of hair between your fingers, like you are really friends, like all of this is normal.

Should he try that? If you reject him could he offer being your friend, he really does like you not just having sex with you, like you think, and he thinks you are wicked funny and far too kind, probably kinder than he deserved, specially at that time and if he has a little crush on you it would be okay as long as he kept it to himself, he could also have you in his life. Who knows maybe down the line you could be proper normal friends and perhaps that is what the universe had always envisioned for both of you but you had gone and messed with it by adding love to the mix. 

You find yourself deep into the streets of the city you once loved so much, next to a man you also loved too much for your own good but then all too late you realize you accidentally walked back to your old place, the one where you had been together countless times, you break out into laughter your body doubling over.

“What?” He asks amused looking at you, you can’t reply, this is all so stupid, it can’t be happening. “What? Tell me.” He says rubbing soft circles between your shoulder blades over his blazer to calm you down. 

You look up at him your eyes full of happy tears or perhaps sad, you can’t know. You feel so overwhelmed by everything, you have been so good at holding it in and now you just explode. You are laughing and crying at the same time, you feel like four years of forgotten feelings just bubbled to the surface and you can barely bring yourself to care.

“I don’t live here anymore.” You manage to blurt out, you are wiping away at your tears while still giggling in between so amused by the entire situation it is like it isn’t even happening to you, like this must be a dark comedy movie or something “God this is so ridiculous, this is so stupid!” You say throwing your arms up in the air and shaking your head. 

He thinks you are so beautiful in your wild laughter but he starts getting worried when he sees the tears don’t stop. 

“Hey, it is okay, we will get a cab.” He says taking a step towards you but you take a step back like you are afraid of his touch. 

“No, no.” You shake again, not really knowing what you are saying anymore.

“Hey are you okay?” He is worried now, truly scared, he goes to put a hand on your shoulder then feels you shake with a heavy sob.

“No, I am really not.” You say it in between a bitter laugh as you cover your face with your hands. “I just really wish I had never met you.” You blurt it out before you can stop it and it cuts deep right into his heart, you can see through eyes blurry with tears how Joost’s face drops and goes pale instantly, he lets go of you.

“I’ll get you a cab.” He says, his voice sounds distant, so unfamiliar now. 

The fact that he looks so sad angers you even more, he has no right to be the one hurt when he is the one who threw you away.

“Don’t you wish the same too?” You say in a harsh tone, just wanting him to confirm all your fears, that he was glad he got away from you, that his life was so much better now and he never missed you, never thought of you.

You were looking for a fight, for him to be cruel like he once had been, even though you knew it was not on his nature and he never meant it like that. He takes a deep breath and looks at you like you are asking something so stupid it isn’t even worth answering, he looks like he is about to cry too.

“No, never. I wouldn’t give up meeting you for anything.”

You feel your throat burn with a sob. You stand together in the dark streets silently waiting for the cab, it arrives he helps you in without saying a word and then you are gone. 

He watches the car drive off holding back tears when he sees you disappear around the corner, it hits him, you are gone, you are truly gone and he couldn’t fix anything, he couldn’t solve anything, like every time before he messed it up, he wasn’t enough and now there is no second chance, he already spent all his second chances years before and this was his last one and even when such a long time has passed he didn’t figure it out, didn’t figure you out for as much as he wanted to pretend like he knew you maybe he didn’t at all. 

Joost goes back home alone, showers alone and then falls into bed trying to get some sleep alone, like always. Nothing has changed because nothing could change and maybe he was the only one who hadn’t moved on, the only one who had not grown because you at least were smart enough and strong enough to cut the cord. But he was still pathetically holding onto the memories, onto every word and every touch and every night you spent together without admitting to himself it was all just that, memories and perhaps it should stay in the past, perhaps it is supposed to just be looked back on fondly instead of like him clinging like a scared child to something he doesn’t want to lose. 

The days go by in a blur, he doesn’t really want to get up from bed and he doesn’t really have a reason to, he just stays inside mindlessly watching TV and scrolling his phone, he thinks about calling you, apologizing again but he remembers your words so vividly ringing inside his head, the way your tears shone so brightly in the night, how you regretted him and he can’t bring himself to be an inconvenience in your life again, he knows somewhere in his heart that he has taken enough. Even when he realizes you accidentally left with his blazer on, he doesn’t call, he is too scared again to act so he just sits still and watches as life once again passes him by. He thinks he will get new cards and a new ID which is a pain and he should just text you at least but then if you sent his stuff back without even meeting him, then you would have truly no reason to talk again and even if it is selfish it is a line he is not willing to cut yet, he is not strong enough for that one yet. 

By the fifth day Joost runs out of all the food at home and most importantly of all the beer, the only thing that is helping him sleep. So he decides to venture out, not that he particularly wants to, but he figures some day sooner rather than later he would have to pick up the pieces and start the arduous process of moving on from you, a process he has already delayed by a few years. He leaves home right at lunch time with some spare cash he had around and goes for the supermarket to pick only the essentials, he sees all sorts of people there, old couples and young parents with their kids and it makes him feel all the lonelier, he wishes you were with him, not that the two of you ever did that sort of domestic thing together but he wishes you would have, he thinks it would have been fun, even though in truth anything that involved you would be fun. 

As he is making his way back to his place, bags in hand, his eyes linger on one of the restaurants he had recommended to you and all of a sudden there you are like a mirage, under the umbrella of one of the tiny outside tables surrounded by pink flowers with the sun generously illuminating your sweet face making you look ethereal. You take his breath away, you always do, his feet move before he can think it through he just can’t stand living like this, knowing you are out there and he can’t share in your days, bask in your laughter, drink from your beauty, it will drive him mad. As he crosses the street he can feel the vomit of words brewing at the back of his throat and all of his sentences start with “I’m sorry, please, please give me another chance, please let me prove I can be good for you.” He is not above begging he realizes. 

But before he can talk, before he can even pretend for any longer that his fantasies where you forgive him and take him back will become real, a man approaches you from the other side of the table and as soon as you feel his presence you stand up with a bright smile on your lips, the kind he wishes he could pull out of you, you go to hug the stranger pressing yourself tightly to him. Joost imagines you smell heavenly, you must feel soft, your hair is shiny and you look so pretty and his heart breaks all over again. He is angry, he is angry at this man for daring smile at you, for daring touch you, he is angry at you for using his restaurant recommendations for another guy who isn’t him, but most of all he is angry at himself, he can’t forgive himself for losing you. 

He stays in place watching from where he can’t be seen, just twisting the knife deeper on himself. You are smiling and chatting happily, the way he wished you would have talked to him, and yet it is another man who has your tender eyes glued on him, it is another man who is taking you out for lunch, and it is another man who is making you laugh, not him, never him again, no matter how much he wants it. When you reach to grab your partner’s hands he has to look away, he feels tears start falling from his eyes, he tries to furiously wipe them away but they keep coming, he is drowning in love and lost and the only one who could save him told him she didn’t want anything to do with him. He finally gathers enough strength to walk away, and go back to his empty house to wallow in self pity, all alone again. 

If he had ever paid any attention and ever had put in more care in getting to know you then he would have recognized that other man not as a stranger but as one of your closest friends and he would have realized that you were not in any sort of romantic date but just a real catch up with a friend, the kind you could never have with him because you weren’t really friends. So instead of knowing any of that he continues for more days forming more and more imaginary scenarios inside his head of you with some other guy, you going on dates and holidays together, you going to restaurants and looking pretty under the candlelight, you moving in together and then getting married and then growing old all of which he can’t be part of and it tears his heart to pieces. So he tries to drink himself to sleep trying to catch some dreamless rest that evades him. But even then he is unsuccessful because you appear on every corner of his mind, haunting his every thought and even when he is unconscious you show up laughing in his face, so cute and so out of reach. He remembers you, now more than ever, with a fresh image of what you look like, his memories become clearer, he remembers your face when you slept, every single detail and the expressions you made, he remembers the way you had looked like back when you told him you loved him and how he didn’t say anything back, Why didn’t he say anything back? Was the fear of things being real greater than his love for you? No, of course it wasn’t but at the time he was too stupid to understand that, so now four years later like an idiot he keeps wishing he could turn back time and knowing he can’t. 

That night after you had left Joost you had continued to silently cry on the ride home until at some point without even noticing you stopped, but the ache in your heart didn’t go anywhere it only became more prominent and uncomfortable with each passing day. Younger you had felt devastated she had hoped new you would be mature and smart enough to solve it, solve whatever it was you and Joost had going on. But even age and maturity couldn’t help you when you didn’t even know what you had with him to begin with. And truly this had all been a big mistake you shouldn’t have gone seen him, no matter how much your heart ached for it. You had taken a long shower and gotten in bed in complete silence, too exhausted for anything else and fallen asleep with a dull ache pounding in your heart.

The morning after you had woken up late and with a splitting headache, everything had felt so surreal but when you saw his blazer on your chair you realized it actually did happen. You cursed yourself mentally for not giving it back, for taking it home and now you would have to see him again, but you could also take the easier way out and just have it delivered and avoid the whole interaction. Yet you don’t, he had been honest with you that night, much more than in the almost whole year that you had known him before and now you felt guilty about how bad you had ended the night. You tell yourself it is best to cut things off cleanly this time, so there won’t be an infected wound like last time. So you end up looking inside his wallet for his ID and search his address up, you also find an old note you wrote him once half jokingly “VALID: For one kiss!” it reads, you had given it to him, written on the back of a grocery list, after you accidentally sat on one of his pairs of glasses and crushed them, he had just laughed it off even when you offered to pay but he had kept the piece of paper for some reason, it pains you and makes you want to cry all over again. 

You don’t show up to his house immediately, you can’t. It was one thing to know what you should do as a responsible adult and a completely different thing to actually have the strength to do it. You have to wait some days to gather strength, you keep trying to distract yourself with work and some old friends but it is useless because every time you see his blazer on your chair you think of him and how you wish that instead of coming back to an empty house you were coming back to him sitting on that same chair, smoking cigarettes like he once did in your small apartment.

However, you decide that prolonging the inevitable is only doing you more harm than good so a little over a week after the dinner you show up to his address late in the after noon, right before evening, you had to hype yourself up the whole day to go there and have this conversation, that was assuming he was there. Just your luck when you ring he answers. He opens the door slowly and almost doesn’t belive it is you.

“Hi.” you say shyly. 

He looks rough, he is pale, his hair is messy and his eyes look slightly red like he hasn’t slept, there are also deep dark circles right under his pretty blues that now seem dimmed. 

“Hey.” His voice is shaky and nervous, he holds onto the handle of the door like if he lets go he will crumble right in front of you. 

“Um, I forgot to give it back sorry.” You say raising the blazer in your hand. 

“Oh, it is okay.” He is dumbfounded, after that night he truly didn't expect to see you ever again and here you are. He is looking intently at your face like soon you will disappear, like this is just another one of his dreams he has been having all week where he sees you vanish right in front of him, but you don’t. 

“Can we talk?” You ask with worry in your face, he hates that, hates that every time he is involved you seem to be so on edge. 

“Sure, sure. Come in.” He moves from the door and lets you in, closes the door after you.

“Can I get you something to drink?” He brushes his hair out of his face, is thankful that he even managed to shower and change his clothes, at least today after a week of self pity. 

“Just water thanks.” You say, he walks you to the living room, tells you to sit that he will be back in a second.

You do so, still holding onto the blazer tightly like a lifeline, you look around his place, it is much bigger than what he had in those days, a little less messy but still very much a bachelor house, it makes you a little happy even though you have no right to feel so, he is not yours and he never was, you have to keep reminding yourself. You are only here for closure, only that. 

“Here.” He says sitting on the armchair next to the couch like he wants to give you space and not suffocate you.

“Thanks.” You mumble taking a sip. You let a long minute go by before you open your mouth. 

“I’m sorry about taking your jacket, and your wallet, I promise I didn’t rack up thousands of euros on credit card debt.” You say with the smallest hint of a smile.

That gets a laugh out of him, it is the first time in days he feels anything that isn’t dread and of course the only responsible could be you.

He smiles softly but there is a hint of sadness under it. The air feels heavy with tension and you just want to lighten it up, he looks so sad you want to ask what is wrong but the question dies in your throat not knowing how much you are allowed to overstep. You don’t know what to say but you wish you could sooth him of whatever his worries are, if you were his girlfriend you could comfort him about whatever is bothering him, even if you were only his friends you could offer a helping hand, a kind shoulder to lean on, but since you are nothing you just keep your hands to yourself. 

“That is fine. I wouldn’t mind.” He says, it is a little stupid but he truly wouldn’t, if this was one of those problems you could just throw money at to solve he wouldn’t mind spending millions to get another chance with you. 

“Ah! I forgot you had superstar money, then maybe I should have bought myself a car.” You smile mischievously at him.

He rolls his eyes at you, he knows you wouldn’t but he finds you amusing nonetheless. “You could do whatever you wanted.” 

For some reason it feels like he is not just talking about spending his money and you feel a little shy all of a sudden. You want to fill in the silence before it drowns you. 

“I’m actually sorry for the inconvenience. Did you not need your cards?” You ask, leaving the blazer to the side. 

“No.” He pauses for a moment, thinks his next words carefully. “I just haven’t been going out, I was busy.” Busy thinking about you, busy dreaming about you, busy pining after you, all so I could see you laughing at other asshole’s shitty jokes that aren’t mine. He doesn’t say that, he knows better than to say it but the uneasiness with which you look at him makes him all the more resentful about what he saw that day. 

“I see.” You say, sensing a shift in tone. You fiddle with your fingers as you look around, there are a couple of pictures of him with friends it makes you smile, knowing he has people looking after him, people you recognize, at least some things remain unchanged, at least he is not alone. 

You are distracted seemingly by the walls or not wanting to meet his eyes, whichever it is doesn’t matter because you look so pretty in this light, in any light and you are biting your lip like you always did when you were nervous, it is so reminiscent of old days it envelops him in nostalgia, but you look so different now and at the same time you look like you could belong here, like you could really be his as he is already yours. Like you could wake up in his bed, your bed, and have breakfast together and then say good bye to come back home to dinner with you and shower together and fall asleep in each other’s arms and then wake up and do it all over again, because you can.

And he distantly wishes he was a different man, the kind that could actually have those things with, the kind you could actually introduce to your friends and the kind you would be so happy to see like the guy at the cafe. He furrows his eyebrows, he doesn't want to think about that but the doubt itches in his mouth and he sort of wants you to confirm all his worst fears, that yes that other guy is the love of your life, that you couldn’t be happier, that he is so much better than Joost, that Joost has always been way beneath you and that you will soon get married and have the life you have always wanted, the kind of life he could never give you. He wants to be put out of his misery and stop holding any hope that you will want him ever again so he doesn’t stop himself before speaking and breaking the uncomfortable silence no matter how much it makes him feel like he is walking to his own execution. 

“I saw you at the new restaurant the one near the supermarket the other day” He takes a small pause until he sees you make eye contact then continues. “With your boyfriend.” The word comes out bitterly from his mouth making him uncomfortable with every syllable. 

You look at him a little puzzled, have to make an effort to remember what he is talking about, then when you come up with the answer you break in laughter throwing your head back at his misunderstanding. 

He is even more confused, he is hurt now, it is one thing for you to have a boyfriend and it is another to rub it in his face and laugh at him for still being so stupidly in love with you, he feels so dumb and inadequate but then you finally stop giggling and look at him from under long eyelashes with a warm smile while shaking your head and he forgets why he was even angry in the first place. 

“That is my friend, we were classmates in university.” You explain still between fits of laughter. 

“Oh,” Is all that he manages out. 

“Oh?” You repeat raising your eyebrows and looking at him amused, you scoot closer in the couch to get a better look at his face, he is blushing so prettily. 

“Were you jealous Joost?” You crook your head to the side playfully, still so amused at how mortified he looks, he doesn't even want to meet your eyes. 

“Tell me~” You say in a sing song voice as you go even closer to him.

He wants to melt into the floor and avoid this, he feels so childish in his fit of jealousy now and all the sleepless night he spent having nightmare about your wedding day to some guy that isn’t even your boyfriend. He finally takes a deep breath, still feels his skin burning hot with embarrassment but he makes the effort to look at you. 

“Yes I was.” He admits, he doesn’t know why exactly he is so eager to admit it, it is not like he has the right to be jealous, but you had said “Tell me.” and how could he ever deny you anything? He covers his face with a hand faking a cough so you won’t see how deeply red he has turned, but you do notice and you are still smiling at him. He likes this, he likes you, he likes having you close like this, even when you are laughing at him, he could be your jester he thinks distantly, he would be okay living like that as long as he could stay by your side. 

You pull back further away and relax into the couch, he wishes you would have stayed closer, he swears he could smell your perfume or maybe it was just wishful thinking. You both just sit in silence for a while not saying anything but finally the silence doesn’t feel daunting it just feels good, like there is finally some peace. You wish you could stay like this longer but any more indulging in these scenarios of the past and what ifs and you won’t want to leave his side, so you take a deep breath before trying to say anything. You turn your face to look at him and find him already watching you, it make you blush lightly but you still speak up. 

“Joost I’m really sorry about that night, I shouldn’t have said that.” You don’t turn your eyes away even when you want to, so overwhelmed by how penetrating his eyes feel on your face, you hold his gaze so he will know you are being sincere. 

“Oh, that is okay.” He says, his tone is nervous now, you can tell he is forcing a smile but you shake your head. 

“It was mean and unnecessary I shouldn’t have, I’m really sorry.”

He shrugs slightly, he wishes you weren’t having this conversation now, he wanted to keep playing pretend in his head of what it would be like to have you here in his living room day after day always and forever without even talking because silence is just comfortable between you two.

“If you meant it, it is all good. You were just honest.” He swallows deeply trying to sooth his nerves. 

Why was he so kind of all a sudden? Who was this man? The more time you spend with him the less you felt you knew him, it frustrated you somehow.

“I was just cruel but I didn’t think it would hurt you.” You say a little defeated.

“Why would you think that?” He asks genuinely, there is no hint of anger or sadness in his tone, just genuine curiosity like he genuinely doesn’t know.

You look up at him and shrug slightly. “I didn’t think you cared about me enough for it to hurt.”

That is his fault fully and he just has to live with it but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. 

He gets up, moves to sit next to you on the couch, whatever happens is okay but you have to know how he really felt, you have to know how much he really cared for you no matter how unable he had been to show you, you at least deserved it now.

“Can I be honest?” You look at him and nod, don’t trust yourself to speak right now, feel like tears might start streaming form your eyes any second.

“I really did like you, back then.” He stops for a second, wants to grab your hand but knows better.

“I actually loved you.” He says in a painful sigh. Your heart squeezes painfully. 

“When you said it, I didn’t know what to do, I was stupid and didn’t say anything, I thought you would be there as long as it took me to say it back.” He shakes his head, feels so disappointed in his younger self.

“Obviously not, I was idiotic and selfish and you deserved better than that.” He smiles bitterly knowing nothing that had happened could be changed.

You have to swallow hard to get yourself to speak. “Why did you call me?” You ask shaky voice, eyes shining with tears threatening to spill over.

“I really missed you.” He shrugs a little and smiles sadly. “I wasn’t lying there really is no one else like you.”

Your hands are trembling on your lap, you feel stuck, you can’t move, can’t speak and can barely breath you are dissolving into his living room couch, he recognizes the signs all too well from experience and grabs at your hand, holds tight while searching for your eyes.

“I’m here.” He says, his voice feels like it is coming from underwater.

“Look at me.” You force yourself to do so, you realize at some point you had started crying, he pulls your hand softly to his chest and splays your fingers on it.

“Breath with me okay?” You nod and follow as he does. 

He takes deep breathes, keeps the air inside and then exhales slowly, you focus on the feeling, try to follow the best you can, you focus on his eyes he is looking deeply at you, blue was always your favorite color or it became after him, you are not too sure.

After what feels like hours of slow breathing you finally feel your heart beating a little slower. All of a sudden you feel so tired, you still feel like you are slowly coming down to earth. You let your head fall on his chest, hear his heart calm and slow, he feels like a rock you can cling to when you feel like drowning. In some more minutes you get your heart to match his.

“I really did love you Joost.” You whisper against him, now his heart picks up, you can feel it in the palm of your hand, like it is your own and in a way it always did belong to you even if you didn’t know.

“I still love you.” He says.

You raise your head from his chest, look into his eyes. 

“Can we try again?”

You don’t answer, you can't, you don’t know what to say truly so you just kiss him. It feels new and familiar at the same time, but undeniably him. 

He feels his heart stop, has thought about this scenario so many times through the years of your absence, has dreamed about it and found solace on imagining it when he felt his loneliest but the reality is all the sweeter. You are really here in front of him kissing him deeply holding at his shoulders like he will slip away but he now knows there is no better place on this earth than in your warm embrace. He reacts belatedly, he wraps his arms around your middle holding you closer, chest against chest you can feel each other so real that it is scary and exciting all at the same time. 

Four years of pent up feelings wash over you, you can’t get enough you chase after his lips drink from his touch. It feels so familiar and delicious like getting home after a long vacation but also so different like you are new lovers just learning each others’ bodies for the first time. You make a move to sit on his lap but stop unsure if you should but he is so sweet and he helps you brings you closer kisses at you neck, takes a deep whiff of your scent. Your perfume is not the same you used to use but underneath it is the aroma of your skin, undeniably you and it spurs him on. 

You are making out on the couch like teenagers, almost like all the times you did in your tiny apartment but this time is his place and everything that surrounds you feels so much like him in a way that makes you lightheaded, back when you first met you had only been to his place a couple of times and it seemed like you weren’t allowed to look but now you are drinking in every detail with curious eyes as he kisses on your throat. Hands are grabbing all over each other, neither of you can get enough, he feels sturdier, his arms seem bigger, the little tickling of the mustache is the same, he feels so warm you want to melt into him forever. You pull back from the heated kisses and make move to pull your shirt off but he stops you putting his hands over yours at the hem of the garment. 

“Wha-” You look so confused and almost frustrated with him, if he tells you to leave you don’t think you could live down that humiliation. 

But he is looking at you with so much lust, love and nostalgia all mixed into his deep blue eyes. 

“I want to- bed” His words are jumping all over the place, he is trying so hard, has waited so long for this, truly didn’t think it would happen again but now he has you and he wants to take his time. “Can I take you to bed?” He ask it sounds weird, barely makes sense and yet you understand him perfectly. 

“Please do.” You say kissing him again and smiling against his lips.

He lifts you up easily and quickly, he grabs at your thighs from below the curve of your ass, wants to feel you up higher but is still anxious that he will scare you off, that all of this will become too real for you and you will scurry away like running water between his fingers. But you just hold him tighter as he walks to bed, his eyes stay on yours almost entranced on your face. When you finally make it to his bedroom he lets you down softly on the bed, he is so grateful for once he remembered to make it in the morning and just his luck today he also changed the sheets. 

You are a divine sight he drinks you in, lips kissed red and face so deep with lust laying on his bed staring up at him waiting, a sight he thought he would never get to see again, he wants to burn this moment in his memory forever, he just blinks slowly at you and looks. 

“Joost, come here.” You finally say when you see him just staring at you like he is in a daze. 

He crawls on bed on top of you, slowly, still so unsure. Maybe he has craved you so much he has been hallucinating this whole thing but you grab at his arms and pull him closer to start planting little kisses on his jaw, his breath picks up, he closes his eyes to focus on the feeling of your soft lips, you grab at his face with your hands pull him closer to your lips, you kiss him deeply, he opens his mouth for you you push your tongue in slowly feeling him, just tasting him. He still smokes you can tell, if you work your brain extra hard you could guess it is still Camels. You smile to yourself, you can remember so many little things about him like he had never truly left your heart at all. 

He sucks on your tongue, he wants to eat you whole, you taste delicious, you feel delicious at some point his hands make their way to your waist and now he has you against his chest again rubbing softly at the inch of skin that your shirt ridding up allows him. He feels so hot you feel so hot, your skin is so tender and soft it is better than he remembers, he wonders if you still use the same lotion you did back then. He grabs at the hem of your shirt looks up at you for confirmation and you nod. He lifts it up drinking in every inch of skin that his eye can reach, there you are, it is still you. 

There are tan lines on you, he wonders where you went on vacation, he spent his last one in France, he went to a nice place by the beach, the kind that you would like, he wonders if you would let him take you there, just the two of you, already dreams of what you would look like wet from the ocean and glistening with the sun. 

“Your mind is elsewhere, should we reschedule?” You say teasing him with a smirk. 

And that hasn’t changed either. “If we stop I might die.” He pulls his shirt up, is already feeling so hot he might get heatstroke just from looking at you. 

“Hey! Don’t do that. I want to undress you too.” You complain soft scowl and cute little pout on your lips, he wonders if you ever realize just how charming you are to him. 

“I’ve missed you.” He says in a whisper against your lips as he cages you between his arms again. 

“Well you have me.” 

You grab at his neck pulling him down on top of you, your legs are tangled with his, his breath is deep, he is holding his weight on his forearms, doesn’t want to crush you but you want to feel him all over you, you want to take everything he has to give you. He kisses along your jaw softly reaches at your neck and starts planting a delicious trail of open mouthed kisses down your throat, bites softly at your collar bones, you pull away laughing at it but he holds you closer to him. He places kisses all over the skin on your shoulder then down to your chest and buries his head in the valley of your breasts, you giggle, he always had his fixations and this one hasn’t changed at all. His hands are playing with the band of your bra shyly swiping his fingers underneath as he continues to kiss you. 

He looks up at you resting his cheek on one of your breasts. “Can I?” He has the worst case of puppy eyes ever, it reminds you why it was so hard to say no to him. 

“I’m yours.” You smile softly at him pulling your fingers between strands of his soft hair. 

He looks so baffled. So overwhelmed with emotion he becomes that he quickly raises from where he is and crashes into your mouth pushing you into bed almost too hard.

“Lifde.” He whimpers against your lips before kissing you deeply, like he is trying to convey years of unsaid things in just one kiss. 

His hands roam softly on your back, you feel so warm. Finally he reaches for the clasp of your bra and unhooks it without separating from your mouth for a second like if he did he would drown. The garment falls down your arms, he admires your soft forms mouth agape and eyes shiny. He reaches a hand to massage at your breast, he is hypnotized by the way the fat gives under his finger tips, by the heat of your skin, the way your nipples pebble immediately at the first touch like your body recognizes him and comes back to life. 

“You are so beautiful.” His voice is deep and heavy with lust, your legs wrap around his hips and pull him closer just to share in his heat. 

He continues playing softly with your mounds, goes to kiss at the thin skin, wraps his lips around your nipples and sucks softly until he has you whining and pushing your chest against his face, his big hands holding at your middle pulling you against him just holding you impossibly closer to him like he wants to dissolve inside your ribcage listening to the beat of your heart forever. You feel him so hard under you, his length pressing right against your own core through the layers of fabric, your hips start grinding against his without even meaning to, moving on its own like your body recognizes his and has missed him so much, moving solely on instinct you don't even have to think. 

Your cunt is throbbing with desire, you feel yourself so wet, the fabric of your panties sticking uncomfortably to you. It feels so hot and you just want tot touch him directly. 

“Joost.” You mewl under him trying to get his attention but he continues licking incessantly at your nipples pinching and pulling lightly with his hands to the sensitive skin. 

Your hands are at his shoulder grabbing tightly but when you see he is not even listening you move them downwards one hand going between the two of you to palm him through his jeans. He moans around your nipple at the contact and then sucks harder trying to get as much of your flesh in his mouth as he can. You continue to stroke him lightly then stronger, faster, you feel him moaning and bucking his hips into your touch, chasing after the friction when you tighten your grip he all of a sudden stops his bucking hips and pulls away from you, leaving your nipples covered in his spit, swollen and shiny on the light of his room. 

“If you keep going I’m gonna cum in my pants.” He says truthfully looking up at you with big eyes. You laugh, he is so blunt and honest, it is still hard to get used to it but it is so terribly endearing.

“Not like it would be the first time.” You say grinning wildly. 

“Liefde.” He whines scrunching his eyebrows and letting a soft blush adorn the high of his cheekbones. “That was one time and I was drunk.” He is turning an ever deeper shade of pink right in front of your eyes, you distantly wonder if anyone else is able to make him melt like this, if anyone is able to tease all these reactions out of him and you remember his words “There really is no one else like you.” and you smile to yourself contently. 

“Take them off.” You say going for the zipper of his pants and dragging down, he lets you, he feels like he can barley breath seeing you almost naked on his bed and undressing him is a dream he thought would never come true again. 

He helps you pull the pants down and kicks them off bed along side his boxers that are sporting a big wet spot right at the tip of his erection. Then he goes to grab at the waist of your jeans and undoes the button before pulling down softly watching your beautiful legs emerge from the fabric. His hands go to your legs slowly inching upwards, massaging the soft muscle, feeling the smooth skin. You lay back down and just stare at him, he has some new tattoos, he has gained some wight, his chest hair is still there but is darker now same as the happy trail and all the beauty marks you remember and the ones you don’t as well. He has changed and he is still in there somewhere, recognizable but different and even better because this time it is real and not just pretend. 

He bends down to place kisses at your thighs almost reverent like you are a divinity that has wondered into his house. He keeps moving higher up until he is right at your core, he kisses over the fabric of your underwear then looks up at you, you nod approvingly before he moves to part your legs. He grabs at the back of your thighs and quickly pulls you closer to him. Gets in the middle and starts planting kisses all over your legs and between them, the skin is so soft there he tries to rub his face against it as covertly as he can and fails miserably because you are looking directly at him seeing how eager and needy he is just makes you hotter. 

He kisses over the lace of your underwear, his lips are plump and soft, you hated to admit it but nobody gave head like him. He truly enjoyed it, the closeness, the wet feel on his mouth the scent of your core deep in his nose in an addicting way. He kisses and licks through the fabric and your hips are pushing against his face, he goes to hold you down, he wants to take his time remembering every place, every tender touch that had you melting into his mouth. His eyes are closed and eyebrow scrunched in complete concentration. He is licking through the fabric applying sweet pressure on your clit but holding you tightly by the hips so you will let him set the pace. Little curses escape your lips as you whine into the air for him. “More Joost more.” You plead looking down at him with big wet eyes. He opens his eyes slowly, can barely make contact from his position but he wants to look at you all the same, wants to give you everything and anything you ask for.

He moves the fabric to the side and takes a deep lick into your core that has you twitching on his mouth, he spreads your folds open with his fingers and sucks your clit between his lips as you moan uncontrollably. When you both would do this in your apartment he would have to cover your mouth with one hand as he worked the other deep inside you because you were so deliciously loud all the way through, but you got complaints form the neighbors on more than one occasion that had you furiously blushing red even if to him it just filled him with pride that he could make you scream his name so loud; however now at his place you can be as loud as you want, as vocal as you can, he eats your sounds up and it pushes him forward, makes him suck at your clit harder feeling it twitch between his lips, makes him lick deeper like his jaw is not going to ache but for your pleasure any discomfort is worth it. He pushes his ring finger inside of the tender muscle of your core and feels you clamp down on him immediately, so needy and so sensitive already. He thinks it is a pity you mustn’t have had anyone to do this for you all these years when it should have been him always ready and mouth eager to please you. 

He pushes another finger into you, your hips rock hard against his hand like you are trying to get him deeper. You taste delicious, it is better than his fantasies, it is all you. His finger pump deep into you as he keeps trying to reach that spot that used to have you melting and when he finally finds it you all but scream and curse, there are tears falling from your eyes but it is all from pleasure and you look so beautiful, his eyes are glued on your face he wants to make sure he is making you feel good, making it worth your time now that you have give him this chance. He sneaks a hand upwards softly caressing your belly up to your chest and grabbing at one of your breasts and softly massaging feeling the pebbled nipple between his finger still wet form his spit and so hard begging for attention, he pinches at the sensitive skin and feels your cunt react immediately gushing on his fingers. His mouth is still connected to your sensitive bundle of nerves but you feel him moaning wildly, see how he is humping against the mattress, there is a wet spot of his pre-cum on the bedding that he doesn’t seem to care about, all but hypnotized with your pretty face and lascivious sounds. 

You take his hand, the one that is kneading at your chest, and pull it towards your mouth, you grab at his fingers and put them in your mouth letting the soft wet muscle of your tongue slide between them before you close your lips and suck greedily around them, it goes straight to his dick, he has to make a superhuman effort to not finish right then and there, he moans so deeply right against your clit you can feel your orgasm threatening to wash over you any second but you don’t want it like this, you want to feel him, now that you finally have him you want it all. 

You pull his fingers out of your mouth wet and shiny with spit and pull yourself slightly from his embrace before speaking in labored tone.

“Joost come here, kiss me.” 

He slowly pulls away from you with a slightly confused expression, he pulls his finger out of you softly but you still wince when you feel how empty you are without them. He crawls over you, wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and asks. 

“Was it bad?” He looks genuine and a little disappointed. 

You laugh, that he could ever think that when you are all but melting on his palms and you were one shy lick away from coming in his mouth. 

“You are the best but I want to cum with you.” You explain. 

You cup his face on your hands and pull him into a deep kiss tasting yourself on his tongue it so erotic and nostalgic it makes you feel like you are in that tiny apartment so many years ago. You pull away slightly and sit up on bed, and pull your underwear down your legs.

His dick hangs heavy between his thighs, the tips is red and glistening with pre-cum you bite your lip in anticipation. Even if you liked to pretend like you didn’t, you had seen him just like this naked and ready for you on your dreams many times over the years but now you finally had him in front of you and you were so hungry for it. You take him in your palm stroke softly  at the velvety skin, feel him twitch under your touch, you bend down a little and look at him through half lidded eyes. 

“Can I?” You ask already licking your lips in anticipation, you have missed him so much he was always so vocal you want to hear his pretty sounds again, feel his warmth on your tongue and the way he fills your mouth.

 He looks at you with eyes full of adoration and caresses at your cheek with tattooed knuckles.

“I would love nothing more liefde, but if you do that I won’t last at all.” He says smiling brightly. His younger self would have probably bragged about his endurance then avoided even looking at you to not cum too fast but the man in front of you right now is so honest, he is naked but more than anything you feel he has stripped his soul bare, all for you. 

“Okay, yeah.” You nod stupidly, you don’t know what to say, he keeps dolling out loving words onto you and it is frying your brain slowly. You push your hair behind your ear to distract your hands. “How do you- how do you want me?” You ask timidly feeling shy all of a sudden like it is your first time and the way he is being so gentle and loving it might as well be. 

“Can you lay back down for me?” He asks, you nod and slowly, lay on bed again waiting for him. You don’t know what to do with your hands, you just rest them on your chest and feel how rapidly your heart is beating, you start getting shy all of a sudden. He looks so beautiful so grown, his arms are bigger, his face is more handsome, he feels like a stranger and you start getting timid that perhaps you don’t know him at all. He sees the hesitation in your eyes and asks softly as he caresses at your cheek. 

“Are you with me?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You nod affirmatively and smile fondly. “I just- I can’t belive it is you.” 

He knows what you mean, he feels it himself. It is all so new but so old and rehearsed at the same time, he knows you, he knows it is you, and yet he also feels in awe of the person you have become while he was gone from your life. 

He nods overwhelmed with emotion to speak. You see how his eyes get shiny, you reach for his arms and feel the warm muscle beneath your palms as you pull him closer. You kiss at his cheek, at the corner of his lips, at the stray tear that escapes him. 

“You okay? We can stop if you want to.” You whisper softly massaging at the muscle of his shoulders. 

He shakes his head, sniffles softly and kisses you. “I am better than ever before” He says finally smiling ear to ear.  

“Okay.” You say smiling and laying back down. 

You spread your legs for him, he comes closer in the space between your thighs, you can feel the heat emanating from his body just a breath away. He grabs at your thighs and wraps your legs around his waist, now you are flush, your sexes barely touching it feels like kissing. His hand moves from the muscle of your thigh slowly up your belly resting on your navel, he is just feeling you, trying to memorize the feel of your body under him all over again. He looks at you and you nod at him, sometimes there is no need for words. 

He grabs his length in one hand and pumps himself a couple times before he lines himself up with you entrance. He pushes in you slowly, his bulbous tip catches on the wet warm muscle of your hole that all but flutters around him. Inch by inch he melts in your heat, his eyes stay on yours all the way to the point you have to look away to stay sane but he pulls you back with one gentle hand on your chin so he can see you, he has missed you so much, it has been so long, he has not stopped thinking about you for a single moment and he refuses to lose another minute. When he finally bottoms out he takes a deep breath and rest his forehead against yours, his skin is shinny with sweat and you must feel yours is too but you are too concentrated on the way his lips are but an inch from yours, how his breath is so warm and you are breathing it in, he becomes the air that you breath. 

Joost finally starts to move after a long minute of just feeling himself inside you, how your warm walls cling to him and pulse all around his length, he pulls away softly but not fully, his tip stays inside your heat before he pushes back in in swift motion. He had never been a selfish lover but now he seemed absolutely laser focused on your pleasure only, thrusting deeply inside you in fast hard motion then pulling out painfully slow, you keep gushing around him feeling yourself become closer to the edge by the second. He keeps his eyes trained on yours all the way. He caresses at the skin of you cheek and you chase his touch completely shameless pushing your head against his hand to feel more of him. You are moaning into each other’s mouths, drinking in each other’s sounds. 

He feels he won’t last long, he sits up slightly leaving you so lonely without his lips but you forgive him when his hand goes to the middle of your legs and he spreads your lips apart to press constant circles on your hard clit sending waves of pleasure up your spine. 

“You feel amazing schat.” He says when you clench on him at the added stimulation.

“I thought about you all the time.” He whimpers with a deep thrust.

“I can't believe I get to do this with you again I didn’t think it would happen.” He confesses as he pulls out, he can’t seem to stop his mouth.

“I’m never letting you go.” He thrust deeply into you again, your clit twitching under his thumb you feel your orgasm quickly building again all around him, walls pulsing wildly as he moves inside you. 

His words have you dizzy, his dick inside you feels divine pushing and pulling at your sensitive walls and his relentless deft fingers on your clit are threatening to send you over the edge any second, you think he must feel it the way you are throbbing on his length and gushing all over his cock. 

“I’m close Joost, don’t stop.” You whimper. 

He keeps the same rhythm that is quickly bringing you to your peak. You look so beautiful, your skin is covered in sweat, you hair is wild and tussled on his pillows, on his bed, your body splayed so beautifully on his mattress, he feels like you belong here, he wants you to belong here with him forever. He can’t stop the words from spilling from his mouth. 

“I love you.”

You cum, you gush all over him, clenching impossibly tighter on him, so much it makes his own hips stutter. Wild tears fall from your eyes as your hips move on their own trying to ride the rest of your high on him, you are breathing heavily you can only hear the pump of your blood on your own ears, you feels like you are falling back to earth rapidly. 

He still feels the beautiful spams of your release on his length as he watches stupefied how you cum and stays still while you ride your high on his dick just letting you enjoy your pleasure and catch you breath. Then he bends down to be closer to you, to kiss at your pretty lips. 

“Just a little more schat.” He promises against your ear, you nod dumbly unable to speak at all, you feel like he is taking you through a perpetual never ending orgasm that washes all over your body. 

His movements get more uncoordinated but he is still chasing his high as he holds you in tender hands, he keeps whispering soft words at you and little i-love-yous accompanying every move, you don’t really reply, you can’t, so you just kiss him back softly. He lets you, now it is you who needs time and if anything the years have made him more patient, not perfect but just better and you are worth all the wait it takes. 

He is hypnotized by the sight, by the way your bodies melt into each other the way your core keeps dripping sweet honey all over him, he knows you were made for each other, he wants you to know it too. He lets go of your thighs and goes to grab at your neck lifting your head softly from where it rests on the pillows. 

“Look” He says, his voice sounds like he is right inside your head.

He angles your head so you see where you are connected, you see his length disappear inside you and then see him again as he pulls out over and over again like waves crashing on the beach.

“Hold your legs for me.” You can’t reply, you become hypnotized by the sight as well, you wrap your hands around your knees and do as he says, he could probably talk you into anything right now. 

He leans over almost folding you in half, your muscles will be sore tomorrow but right now the stretch is so delicious you feel like you are alive for the first time in a long while all your nerves standing on fire.

“Look, we were made for each other.” He says all gone, completely lost in pleasure and the way you all but melt around him he might be right. 

You look up at him and he does the same, your eyes lock as his hips thrust deeply into you one last time as he comes deep into your walls painting everything with his thick release, he moans your name loudly, his hips stutter into yours, all uncoordinated with the last of his release, you hold onto him like he is a life vest, he almost closes his eyes from pleasure but makes the effort to keep them trained on your face all through it. 

“I love you.” He whimpers with a last thrust and you pull his face to yours to kiss him. 

He collapses onto you, his weight feels delicious if only a little suffocating, but you caress at the tired muscles of his arms, at his back, at his shoulders and neck as you slowly bring him down to earth to you again. You feel his heart beating rapidly inside his ribcage and his breaths are shallow as he tries to compose himself. You hold him through all of it and play with the hair at the nape of his neck that you have missed so much. You feel him soften inside you but you wish you could stay like this forever, eternally connected. 

Finally he gathers what little strength he has left and rolls over onto his back next to you in bed. He is still breathing heavy but he looks over at you so enamored, he brushes the hair away from your face to look at your properly as if he is doing it for the first time and you give him a smile in return. All blissed out and fucked out you truly are an angel come to life on his bed and he can’t fully belive it yet.

After a long moment just breathing slowly and looking at you he swallows deeply and pulls himself together for what he now knows he has to do. He rolls on his side so he can look at you better and you can feel he has something to say so you follow and do the same watching him expectantly. He clears his throat before speaking. 

“I really meant it, can we try again?” He asks looking deeply into your eyes. 

“I don't know.” You say honestly, seeing him was great, it would be a lie to say there weren’t butterflies in your stomach but you didn’t know what to do with that. 

“We can start from scratch.” He offers, you laugh at that. 

“Yeah how? We already know each other.” You say, he shakes his head.

“We have changed a lot.” He is right, he has become so mature you barley recognize him at all and you are also not the same it would be unfair to say so. 

“So what do we do?” You ask truthfully looking at him expectant. 

The Joost you had met would have probably shrugged and changed the topic but the one right now in front of you smiles back, pretty dimples adorning his face and says.

“I am Joost Klein, born and raised in Friesland, I am 26, I am a dancer, video editor, rapper and international super start amongst others, nice to meet you.”

He extends his hand at you waiting for you to shake it.

You think about it for a second, seeing his pretty eyes looking at you all sparkly and sweet, it takes you right back to the first time you met but now you are both so different it truly feels like it happened a life time ago. There is no point in thinking about it anymore, those people no longer exist, whatever they did is not part of today anymore and more importantly they were a little bit stupid.

So you extend your hand to shake his, the skin feels warm and still so soft. You like him, you think you do, maybe it is nostalgia, maybe in a few weeks, maybe in a few months you will realize this is not what you want and maybe that is okay, but right here right now he is looking at you full of hope and you want to share some of it, so you pull yourself closer let him wrap his arms around you and kiss him deeply. Tonight the sky is full of stars and you feel the nice warmth of his body lull you to sleep. You can dream in his embrace of a good future were you actually figure it out together and who knows maybe this time you can because this time he loves you and he actually says it. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

MASTERLIST *ੈ✩‧₊˚ A/N: Thank you so much for reading this ended up being very long! Let me know your thoughts/comments pls and sorry for any mistakes my brain is fried lol! -`♡´-

[justanothersanjilover]

One piece Modern Gym AU wips (Part1)

Back again with Trans Zoro thoughts:

Sanji somehow (I don't know how) landed a job in a women-only Gym as a food/health counselor. One day, he’s behind the bar, seeing a very buff, very scary-looking guy enter the gym. Sure as hell, that man doesn't belong in there, so he takes it up on himself to send the creep out.

“What do you want to do about it?”

The guy grinned as Sanji walked over telling him (not very friendly) to get out and asked if he couldn't read - the sign obviously said women-only.

“Then what are you doing here?”

Sanji wanted to punch the smug smile off his face!

“Not that it's to any of your concern, but I work here! And I WILL protect the girls in here!” He barked and made himself ready to throw the creep out.

“Again, what ya gonna do, you stick figure? Kick me out?” The guy asked provocatively.

You can imagine the surprised face he made when Sanji actually kicked him through the front door! There was a split-second where the creep looked approving, slightly nodding, and then he got up again. Sanji braced himself for a punch, but it never hit.

Instead he heard Nami (the manager of the gym) behind him, calling out.

“Zoro? Is that you?!”

She rushed over, pushing past Sanji, and jumped into the creep's arms. Sanji can only stand there, mouth hanging open like a fish on land.

“Shit, I knew the T would hit, but like that?! Man, you got huge!” She continued, laughing and ruffling the guy's green hair (who dyes his hair green anyway?!)

Before answering her, Zoro smirked dirtily at Sanji flipping him off with both hands.

“I worked out, too. It’s not only the T, witch!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Hitting the gym whenever you can - but not my gym apparently! Why is that?”

He pointed over to Sanji, who is feeling very uncomfortable to be suddenly the center of attention after kicking the managers friend (? Boyfriend? No, definitely just a friend!) out.

“As this lovely Gentleman over here just told me, its a women's only Gym. So I’m not allowed.”

“You mean Sanji scared you? Really?”

“No, he didn't scare me. But he had some…hitting arguments.”

Nami raised an eyebrow and looked from Sanji to Zoro and back.

“I’m sure you guys get along well,” she smiled and punched Zoro’s shoulder lightly - he did her a favor and hissed in fake pain, pressing a hand to his shoulder. “Sanji’s the kind of guy you used to take out to your lovely dates.”

“Is he.”

Zoro, again, smirked at Sanji who could tell he was blushing like hell as hot as his cheeks felt.

“I…I’m not…I mean…” he stammered as Zoro broke out in a full belly laugh and Nami joined in.

“It’s fine, Curly. I’m not really looking for anyone right now. Kinda have to figure to much shit out before I gonna let someone into my life again. Don't get your panties in a twist.”

And then he was led away by Nami to “go see the girls; they are going to be sooooo excited to see you again!” Sanji just stood there, mouth open again, staring at the back (the fucking broad back) of Zoro as he got practically run over by all the ladies currently in the Gym.

Next

[nocreativityfornames]

Random Obey Me! Headcanons Part 3

Asmo collects plushies, he finds the little things absolutely adorable and has tons of them in his room. And yes, you'll see Asmo's eyes lit up like a kid if you ask him about them and their individual names. He will also be glad to explain each one's little story and how he got them, and you would be endeared to find that a good portion of the plushies were given by the other brothers themselves, who have known about his love for collecting for a long time now.

Belphie is one of those people who when you ask them for something will ALWAYS blatantly say no at first but then proceed to nonchalantly do the exact thing you asked with no ounce of shame whatsoever, maybe even smirk a little as they finish doing whatever it is you asked. It's a little annoying at first, but you eventually get used to it. He's just likes being a brat, really.

Satan had an emo phase as a teenager, he would dye his hair black, only wear dark clothes, paint his nails regularly ( with the help of Asmo ), listen to typical emo music, the whole nine yards. And of course, he was more rebellious than ever, refusing to listen to his brothers and just any authority figures in general. He's ashamed of it now and cringes hard seeing pictures of himself back then. As any good father older brother would though, Lucifer always manages to embarrass him by bringing up that phase and even showing the "cursed pictures" to friends/potencial partners Satan brings home.

Levi likes to hide in small spaces when he's anxious, overwhelmed, or just doesn't wanna deal with something ( social interactions more often than not ). Oh, you're at a party and you can't find Levi anywhere? Check the less crowded room, more specifically under the tables, he's probably there playing games on his phone. Hm, it's lunch break at RAD and the third born is nowhere to be seen? Inside his locker, or maybe the janitor's closet. He doesn't know exactly why he does it, but it's a habit that's been with him ever since he was a small angel. Those places just comfort him, somehow. And don't worry, he's pretty flexible so it works out just fine. I mean, why else would he be okay sleeping in a bathtub?

MC and Mephisto didn't meet for the first during S4. In fact, these two first met only a week into the exchange program, with Mephisto interviewing MC for the RAD Newspaper. Because of course, the public was dying to know more about the newest exchange student who had just entered the academy, and multiple news outlets were covering MC's arrival and curious situation, given that they had been placed with the seven brothers at HoL, and had gotten into a pact with Mammon so quickly. Being aware of all of this, Mephisto knew that an exclusive interview with MC would give everyone in the kingdom something to talk about, and so he sought to be the first one to get his hands on one. ( Also he was very intrigued and eager to known more about MC, but of course he'd never admit that. )

Belphie and Mammon both have piercings around their bodies. Mammon especially likes the golden and grey ones that match his rings, while Belphie prefers them black ( because of course he would ).

For the first 2-3 months of the exchange program, MC genuinely thought Diavolo and Lucifer were a couple. This happened because ever since day 1 they were hearing "funny comments" about the two of them and just assumed they were in an actual relationship. And no one ever bothered to correct them because they found it hilarious, and wanted to see how long it'd take for them to find out the truth. Some of the brothers even went as far as purposely making up stories to lead MC to believe that Lucifer was out on dates with Diavolo when he wasn't at home and they came looking for him ( and the bastards would immediately start laughing the moment MC left the room ). MC only found out the truth when they were talking to Lucifer about Diavolo one day and casually replied to something he said with "But that's not really surprising since he's your boyfriend" and Lucifer just went ???? "Excuse me?? What did you just say?" and proceeded to explain that he and Diavolo were in fact not in a relationship. ( the punishment he gave his brothers after finding out about this "little prank" of theirs was no joke, but none of them regretted it, it was "just too funny", in their own words )

Lucifer's voice changes DRASTICALLY depending on his mood. Like, the more serious/stressed he is, the deeper it goes, and the more relaxed/content he is, the softer it becomes. You can hear it cleary when you compare the way he sounds on a regular basis when lecturing the others, speaking about work, giving speeches as RAD's vice president, etc, to rare occasions when he's talking about music and art, playfully teasing the others, or recalling a nice moment from the past. It's like there are 3 stages to his voice: usual deep, furiously deep ( that iconic "Mammooon" ), and ACTUALLY SOFT. The ones who get to hear his "nice voice" the most are MC, Diavolo, Barbatos, Luke, and Beel.

One that's already been discussed by other players but that I'd like to add on: demons ( and angels as well ) give humans "uncanny valley feeling" and MC could tell there was something ""wrong"" with brothers ( they aren't humans ) the moment they first laid their eyes on them in the council room. And my addition to this is: although the brothers all give off this feeling, it's to varying degrees that depend on how much they can blend in as a human. And Satan is the only who can bypass this "filter" almost completely, because remember when Lucifer first introduced him by saying something along the lines of "He might look nice but don't fall for it because it's an act"? Well, I like to think that Satan also looks the most "normal" out of his brothers when it comes to the "uncanny valley feeling" because of this too, since he has pretty much mastered the art of appearing trusting to deceive humans back in the day and is still the best at disguising himself as human to not to scare people away when visiting the human world and such.

Solomon has a hobby of solving jigsaw puzzles, like, you know those huge ones that take over the entire table or floor? He absolutely loves them and will gladly spend a whole day focused on completing them if needed. And if you offer to solve one with him? Oh, he'll get so excited it's actually kind of adorable. So do it, it's the road to his heart, even if you find it boring.

Lucifer leaves Beel on charge whenever he has a work-related trip, or simply intends on spending more time out of the house than usual. It's easy, as long as the second youngest keeps everything in order, Lucifer promises to take him to any restaurant he wants ( no matter how expensive ), and to let him eat to his heart's content when he comes back. Oh, Mammon is trying to sneak out of the house to gamble all their money away? Nuh-uh, Beel's not letting him leave through that door! Asmo's planning to take advantage of the fact that Lucifer is out to throw a party? Nope, Beel's stopping him. Satan & Belphie are trying to get into Lucifer's room to prank him? Yeah nah, Beel's dragging them back to their own rooms. Really, it works wonders, not only because Beel has the most physical strength out of everyone and can overpower them, but also because none of them have the heart to actually argue with him.

[anadorablekiwi]

Almost there!

Anyways, have some more undercover boss ideas

Kaeya works at the store by day, and a bar called The Angel’s Share (also run by the Ragvindir’s) at night. Diluc goes to see him, and the staff all love and hate him because all he orders is grape juice

The only thing Diluc does to hide who he is is dye his hair a different shade of red and and go by a different name. Somehow, it works

Diluc’s other name is Dak McKnight because I think I’m funny

Kaeya doesn’t recognize him at all, and accidentally confesses in a sleep-drunk haze one time that he misses his family. Diluc nearly blows his cover right there.

Amber is an area coordinator— Razor, Fischl, and Bennet all work part time. Jean is head manager for the store, and Albedo is another area manager who comes in with his little sister Klee all the time

No one is quite sure what Venti does, but he always has the exact fix you need when you need it, and he can always get register 6 (aka, Stormterror (yes the registers are all named)) to work for him.

GFJJSBSJA OH MY GOSH I LOVE THIS

Diluc🤝Me - would order grape juice at a bar lol

Dak McKnight im DYING 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Honestly, its absolutely hilarious how that ‘disguise’ works, and very in character 🤣 also kaeya confessing he misses his family poor babyyy 🥺🥺🥺

Ooo is Jean the first one to figure out Diluc’s diguise? Also gotta love the triple terrors (nickname i literally just made up for fichl bennett and razor group lol) 💜💜💜

Venti is perfect 😂🤣😂 and i love the fact that the registers are named 😂 is one named Andrius (i dont know how to spell it), or Boreas? (I never know which name to use lol)

Oooooooo okay i dont know if this would work but idea- Kaeya gets too impaired to actually make it home (whether that be sleep drunk or visited bar off duty and got legit drunk), and Diluc has to help him home

He panics later when he realized that his alter ego should absolutely not know where kaeya lives (he does because after finding out the pay of his employees he got curious and looked it up), but it works out cuz kaeya didnt even remember any of it and assumes he was conscious enough to direct whomever helped him get home?

[starzzyeyed]

Take My Breath Away (And Make It Last Forever Babe)

This is for @andiebeaword 's 3k celebration contest!! I actually got this finished on time, which impressed even me despite the fact that it's so short. I also never post fics to tumblr so my apologies if there's formatting issues.

The prompt I chose was "Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy?"

Summary: Spencer finds himself a little bit distracted during a case wondering just how it would feel to be wrapped up in Hotch's strong arms and kissed by his lips.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Aaron Hotchner

Rating: Teen

Warnings: None that I can think of. There's brief allusions to sex but it's not mentioned in any depth.

Word Count: 1.5k

There’s nothing he wants more than the feel of Hotch’s lips on his.

He knows, should his thoughts ever somehow accidentally leak from his brain and become public knowledge, that Morgan would most likely snigger and tell him he’s sure Spencer would like the feel of those lips a few other places as well, but he’s not thinking about that right now.

All he’s capable of focusing on at this moment in time, is what it would feel like for Hotch to kiss him.

And that’s before he even begins to think about Hotch’s arms.

Strong, muscular biceps, thick and prominent veins responsible for carrying the blood that keeps him alive and fit running up and down his forearms, visible in what is a rare occasion of Hotch having chosen to have his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, the heat of the Texas summer forcing him to forgo his usual full suit attire.

He knows he’s staring, and he’s been staring for the past four minutes and thirty- seven seconds and yet he can’t seem to bring himself to stop.

Hotch is leant over the table, photos and evidence spread across every square inch of the laminated surface in front of him with a hand planted either side of the journal that they know holds the final puzzle piece, if only they could figure it out.

Spencer’s glad he has the file cabinet to lean against because he’s not sure his legs could hold him up if he didn’t, and he doesn’t want to make his attraction any more obvious than it clearly already is to anyone with a pair of eyes in the same room as him.

“Earth to Reid.”

Spencer jumps, knocking over a stack of folders with his elbow that clatter to the hardwood floor underneath, making him jump again. He hears Morgan laughing in the background as he bends down to pick them up, his cheeks burning as he clears his throat and looks back over to the table, to where Hotch is now watching him with a small, barely there smile.

“Hmm?” he tries, aiming for casual even though he knows he can’t hide the way his pupils are undoubtedly dilated, and that’s without even mentioning his inexplicable clumsiness, which is extreme even by the normal Spencer Reid standards.

“Hotch asked you a question, genius,” Morgan teases, still laughing, and Spencer forces his gaze up from the floor to the very person he’s spent the past six minutes and forty-two seconds staring at. Not just staring at Hotch as a person, in fact; staring with all of his focus on Hotch’s arms.

“What did you say the link is between the victims hair?” Hotch asks, that small smile still playing on his lips, and Spencer feels as though his cheeks are on fire.

“They all purchased the same brand of rinse out box dye,” Spencer begins, finding his voice and rattling off the information he knows that’s actually relevant to the case, rather than the information his brain has spent the last seven minutes and fifty-one seconds hyper-focussing on.

Information like the way he just knows Hotch could pick him up in those strong and muscular arms, perhaps even just on one arm like a bodybuilder lifting a weight. The way he imagines himself far too often being carried bridal style in those arms, with Hotch looking down at him from above with that same small, barely there smile that he had on his face a moment ago. The way he knows without question the safety and security he would feel with those arms wrapped around him, holding him, carrying him; keeping him protected from all the criminals they come up against on a daily basis, all the lowlifes they take off the streets to protect others.

Spencer blinks himself back to the present moment, clearing his throat as he looks up at Hotch again, at Hotch’s face, forcing himself not to let his attention drift back to those well-muscled arms that he so desperately wants to feel wrapped around his waist, holding him tightly against the filing cabinet that’s by now supporting practically all of his weight as he struggles to keep his focus on what’s actually going on right now, as opposed to what’s happening in his imagination.

The problem with looking so directly at Hotch’s face, though, is that now he finds his gaze drifting back to Hotch’s lips again, once again imagining how those lips would feel pressed against his, how it would feel to kiss Hotch, how it would feel for Hotch to kiss him.

The thought alone is making him slightly breathless, and if he carries on like this he’s going to end up with his body outing him to the rest of his team, so he clears his throat again and mutters a quiet, “excuse me,” when it’s clear that no one in the room needs any more information from him for the moment, before he slips out of the office and down the hall.

He makes it two corridors away before he leans back against the wall and lets out a shaky sigh, willing his body to get itself back under control before he’s forced to do something he desperately doesn’t want to and take himself into the men’s bathrooms to take of himself.

He doesn’t get the chance to finish deciding what to do, though, because a moment later there’s the sound of footsteps and Spencer presses himself even further back into the wall behind him, hoping he’s at least somewhat hidden by the cabinets on either side of him. Apparently he’s not hidden enough though, because the footsteps stop right in front of the filing cabinet to his left and someone clears their throat.

Spencer’s in the process of deciding if he can come up with a sufficient lie for why he’s hiding behind a filing cabinet in a local police precinct, or whether he can turn around to this person and ask them why they’re questioning him, a highly trained and admired member of one of the most respected sections of the FBI, when it dawns on him that he knows that voice, even if the person hasn’t technically spoken.

“H-Hotch? What are you doing here?” he asks, stepping out of his hiding place and slowly lifting his gaze from the polished black shoes in front of him to the amused expression on his boss’s face.

Shit.

He doesn’t even need to hear Hotch’s response to know that he’s been caught out, and he’s already forming explanations and excuses and apologies in his mind, ready to spill the moment Hotch starts talking because he’s definitely going to lose his job over this, when the sound of Hotch’s laughter finally reaches his ears.

Great, now he’s laughing at me, Spencer thinks, his cheeks heating up as he begins stammering out apologies.

“I’m so, so sorry, Hotch, I don’t… I don’t know what got into me. Well, no, that’s not technically true, I mean… I do know, obviously, it’s you… no, it’s just, well, you got into my mind, that’s all, and I-”

He doesn’t get any further than that before Hotch leans forwards and shuts him up with a kiss, pressing him back against the wall behind him as his arms, oh, those arms, circle around his waist and keep him locked in position against the wall behind him, as those lips press against his and kiss him, and if Spencer could actually form a coherent thought it would be that he’s definitely died and gone to heaven, because there’s just no way that this is happening to him.

When Hotch finally pulls away, Spencer’s panting for breath and his head his spinning and if he didn’t have a tent in the front of his pants before he definitely does now. But, as he’s looking at Hotch, raking his eyes across the body of his boss as the other man smiles and raises an amused eyebrow at him, he sees a similar tent in the front of Hotch’s suit trousers, and he raises his own eyebrow back in shocked disbelief.

“What?” Hotch asks, chuckling at Spencer disbelieving expression, “did you really think I didn’t notice the way you were staring at me in there?”

Spencer’s still getting his breath back, but he manages to grin at Hotch, leaning forwards and wrapping his arms around the older man’s neck while he breathlessly asks, “does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy?”

Hotch just laughs softly, kissing Spencer softly again before he nods.

“Evidently, yes,” he replies and Spencer grins wider, running a hand through his hair as he tries to come to terms with this development. Fortunately, Hotch is one step ahead of him, because when he looks back down from the ceiling Hotch is holding a hand out towards him that Spencer hesitantly takes.

“Are you free for dinner tomorrow night, assuming we solve this case? Say, 8pm?” he asks and Spencer nods shy smile.

“That sounds perfect,” he replies, walking hand in hand with Hotch back to the conference room.

He’s never been so happy for a case to be solved quickly.

[interstellarlyinlove]

Time Travel (May 15th)

word count: 733

@wolfstarmicrofic

Remus is in Hogwarts, but not his Hogwarts. He doesn’t think so, at least.

Remus really shouldn’t have stolen Regulus’ time-turner. He really should stop fucking around to find out because that is what gets him in bizarre situations like this. 

Remus is standing in a DADA classroom staring at himself. An older version of himself. Older Remus looks like this is just something that happens. 16-year-old Remus is freaking out. 

“You really should dye your hair,” Remus says bluntly. The salt-and-pepper look really isn’t working out for him. Though, to be fair, older him looks a lot more comfortable than Remus generally is at any given moment. 

Older Remus laughs loud and deep. “Sure thing.”

“I really don’t know how I got here,” Remus says. “I’m a little–”

“Freaked?” Older Remus asks. Remus notices that older him isn’t fidgeting and he stops fidgeting as well. “I know.”

“How can you know?”

“I was freaked, too,” Older Remus says, smiling. He leans against the teacher’s desk. Remus scowls because he doesn’t lean. Remus notices a wedding band on his finger and he pretends he doesn’t notice it because that’s more than he wants to deal with at the moment.

“You remember traveling to the future to meet– oh, this is all kind of brain-numbing, I’m sorry. I don’t think I can follow.”

“Neither could I. Sirius helped me figure it out. It was quite a while ago, we needed a lot of drawn diagrams and colored ink. It hasn’t crossed my mind in so long, not until, well–” he smiles. “Until now.”

Remus’ heart aches when he hears Sirius’ name. That somehow seems like it should be the least consequential thing older him says but it’s the most important. Especially since he hasn’t really spoken to Sirius in five months, give or take, and has decided to take up hobbies like screwing with time-turners to not deal with the fact that Sirius had it in him to be so cruel. “Me and Sirius– I mean, er, you and Sirius, talk? After what happened with Snape?”

Older Remus’ eyes soften. “Of course. Sirius is the most important person in my life.”

Sirius is the most important person in Remus’ life. Or was. Or is. Or is going to be again, apparently. This is all terribly confusing. “Sirius and I–”

“Aren’t talking at the moment?” Older Remus guesses. Or he remembers, Remus corrects. He’s already gone through what Remus is currently going through. What a reassuring thought. “That was horrible. I’m sorry you’re experiencing it in real-time.”

“It fucking sucks,” Remus says, then he cringes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

Older him shakes his head. “It’s okay. Don’t apologize to me.”

“I’m glad it doesn’t last forever,” Remus says, and he means it. What Sirius did was cruel and unkind but– “I miss him. I would’ve hated to have lost my friend forever.”

“Did you think Sirius and I– Sirius and you, sorry, would never figure it out?”

Remus shakes his head. “Of course not. It’s Sirius. I wouldn’t let it not work out, even if what he did is horrible.”

Older Remus nods. “It was horrible. Everything feels like the end of the world when you're sixteen, doesn’t it?”

Remus couldn’t really argue with that. “How does it work out? Between Sirius and me–you, I mean."

Older Remus grins. “I know you’re smart enough to know I can’t tell you that.”

Remus himself grins. “I guess. This is all rather cool, actually. I’m glad to know my acne clears out. How come you don’t have any more scars?”

“I’m afraid I can't really– what I can say, Remus, is that–” and Remus doesn’t know what he wanted to tell himself because as suddenly as he appeared in that classroom, he reappears near the Black Lake, the time-turner clutched in his hand. 

He wasn’t anywhere near the Black Lake before, he was in the Astronomy Tower. Why would he be–

“Oh, fuck me. Where did you materialize from?”

Remus jumps.

“I’m sorry. I’ll just–”

“Sirius,” Remus calls out, and it’s the first time they’ve spoken in so long and Remus knows it works out. “Sirius. I have so much to tell you.”

Sirius looks awestruck. Remus, despite everything in the universe, grins. He knows that it works out! He smiles, his heart lighter than it has been in so long, and starts talking. 

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale’s Top 10: Most Hated characters

Rules:

1. To make this interesting, I’m going to be picking characters that aren’t intended by the writers to be hated (annoying maybe, but not hated). So Villains aren’t going to be on this list since most are often supposed to be hated.

2. I will be covering Anime, manga, cartoons, and comics

3. Only content I’ve heard of (and at least somewhat have exposure to)

4. This is a VERY personal list. And If you happen to like a character I list. If it’s below the top 5, that’s fine. But if it’s above the top 5, please seek professional help.

___________________________________________

10. Z from All Grown Up!

This is supposed to be a 10 year old kid. I kid you not.

When he was first introduced, I did figure it was the simple don’t judge a book by its cover story. And yea it was mid back then. But I remember watching more episodes and realizing. Z is actually really f***ing boring and the episode about not judging would have worked if they were all 14 or 15, but Z is 10! They are all 9 to 11 years old! This show was so dumb! What parent lets their kid dye their hair and get piercings at 10?! How would he even know what punk is?

I think my main problem with Z is really the fact that it shows how he doesn’t really fit in a story of 10 year olds. Which was one of the big problems with All grown up! As a show. And personally I hate being reminded of why it fails so much as I did enjoy it as a kid.

Though out of all the characters on this list. He at least isn’t a jerk.

The other reason was I am a Tommy and Kimi supporter so…. Yea. That too.

________________________________________

9. Ronaldo- Steven Universe

Now I know he’s supposed to be annoying. But that’s not my problem with him. His obsession with keeping beach city weird is fine. It’s the entitlement he has.

Not the conspiracy theories, it’s him trying to insert himself into it, trying to be the main character. And it’s always causing trouble for Steven. But I really think what does it is just how selfish he is about it. He never learns, starts to consider other people’s feelings. For Steven Universe, a show that gives pretty much everyone a redemption arc, Ronaldo basically goes “nah I’m good as is.” That’s what really grinds my gears about it.

____________________________________________

8. Chloe Carmichael from Fairly Oddparents

Now I should stress that before her introduction. The show was already on a decline with the introduction of Poof, Foop, Sparky.

But Chloe, oh she was a different breed of ruining the show. She made it unwatchable. Like people often complain about Mary Sue characters. CHLOE is a 100% grade A Mary Sue.

She just shows up, gets partial custody of the fairies, everyone likes her, but she somehow a bit miserable so she gets to have faries? Chester is WAY more deserving.

But seriously everything around her seemed to bend to her will. And it was so bad I think they canceled the show midway through the season.

But the reason she is so low is because she was simply the last straw on the shows decline and not the root cause. And I hardly watched the season she was in to care enough.

___________________________________________

7. Hiruzan Sarutobi - Naruto Shippuden

Now for those of you who watched only the first part of Naruto you are probably VERY confused on why this old man is on the list.

For those of you who have watched part 2. You know EXACTLY why he is on this list.

This man’s inability to stop ANY of the awful crap that resulted in the events of the story.

-He let the Uchiha extermination happen

-He let Danzo basically do whatever he wanted

-He didn’t stop Orochimaru who ended up attacking his village years later (and resulting in his death)

-Never told Naruto about his parents, and Litterally just gave the orphan money and dipped out.

-Didn’t stop the village from ostracizing Naruto

And the list goes on.

Like for some things, I get. The uchiha were planning a Coup and it could have gotten ugly but for f***s sake he could have done a better job in negotiations! Also why would he ever trust Danzo?

The rest is on him. Konohamaru is better off having Naruto as his mentor than that old bastard.

___________________________________________

6. Chris Thorndike - Sonic X

I hate this f***ing kid so much.

Oh people complain that Amy is so focused on sonic. Nah man, this kid only ever thought about sonic. This kid even tried trapping Sonic in his world because he didn’t want to say goodbye.

“But he’s lonely without his parents.”

WTF you talking about. His parents see him pretty often despite their careers and both clearly love him. He also has a maid and butler that both watch over and care for him. Not to mention uncle Chuck that is watching over him. Plus he has a group of friends his own age (all of which are more interesting characters than him).

I can’t even begin to describe how much of a jerk he can be. I will say the only reason he isn’t higher is because Chris actually TRIES to be useful in the matarex arc.

____________________________________________

5. Velma Dinkley - Velma

Or should I say Mindy kaling wearing Velma like a skin suit.

I hate when people turn beloved characters into self inserts and this entire show was this. Now I could go on about how they ruin Velma’s character. But this, this isn’t Velma. This isn’t even Scooby doo. It’s just using its name. And that’s all I can say. I’ve only watched enough clips to justify putting this on the list. This character and the show are both awful, so at least she isn’t ruining the show. And she does die, so at least there is some satisfaction. Which is why she is only this low on the list.

____________________________________________

4. Jared Shapiro - Powerpuff girls 2016

I don’t care what the interviews say. No one can convince me this kid isn’t a self insert of one of the writers.

An out of nowhere love interest for the main character.

While not as bad as the case of Velma, this one is much more personal having grown up with the OG powerpuff girls. So this makes me want to gag.

He’s such a bland and weird character. It’s just so creepy. I can’t even begin to describe how creeped out this character makes me feel. It does not feel like him and blossom are the same age either. It just ain’t right.

___________________________________________

3. Caillou from Caillou

I happen to like kids. Kids are creative and fun little gremlins. But whenever I see Caillou, the visceral urge to punt this child is intense.

He is the WORST child character in all of fiction. If the show never existed I’m 100% sure the world would be a better place.

He is a brat that NEVER learns. He says he does but he doesn’t. He is always the exact same little turd he’s always been. The only redeeming quality about that show is that the theme can be remixed into a bop.

___________________________________________

2. Paul Jeremiah Rabin from Amazing Spider-man

This man is probably the most hated man in all of spider-man comics.

Zeb Wells really s*** the bed so hard when he created this guy. Making a character that basically kidnapped Mary Jane, gave her super powers, made her get into a relationship with him, and basically ruined Spider-Man’s personal life.

You want to know how bad you messed up when in the issues where spiderman was possessed by the green goblin’s evil and he wanted to kill Paul, PEOPLE WERE CHEERING.

I do not think exists a single person that Likes Paul as a character. It’s actually kind of amazing.

But he is only number 2, because the ultimate spider man run is helping us forget the TRAVESTY that is Paul.

__________________________________________

1. Dave from Total Drama Pahkitew Island

He was the worst part of the worst season of total drama.

He started off as a whiny less then fun version of Noah and ended up as a clingy, psychotic toad that deserved to get ripped apart by bears.

Now with previous entrees I can kind of understand if there is someone that could like the character. Maybe…

But Dave?

If you actually like Dave and the person he became, we can not be friends. I would recommend a psych evaluation.

The boy is vindictive, controlling, condescending, and overall PATHETIC! And his label was Normal. The normal boy?! Nothing about that ‘Nice guy tm’ is normal. He was a piece of garbage.

Every action he takes is in his own self interest and I don’t see a SINGLE redeeming quality about him.

We are supposed to Want him to get together with Sky?

Him dating the Communal toilet would be a disservice to the toilet.

And that’s all I got to say on that matter.

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

Hello, can I request dating Georg or Gustav headcannons.

Have a nice day.

(Hello! Sure I can and I hope you enjoy and have a nice day!)

Georg Listing Dating HC'S

He's so boyfriend material istg

I don't feel like he is the major jealous type

More like the type to come up when you're uncomfortable or when he sees someone flirting with you

He won't be a dick, will kiss your cheek or wrap an arm around your shoulder to get the message across

Casual dominance is this guys language

You guys get into so much shit together it's insane

He probably plays guitar as you just sit there and listen

Or when he's trying to get something right

It's very cute and little moments that are always the best with Georg

He says the most out of pocket shit

Sometimes you gotta slap a hand over his mouth but you can't help but laugh

The guy to make you laugh in any type of situation

Especially when you're upset

Silent treatment does not survive with this guy because he always gets you to talk or laugh

Or he grabs your sides and keeps like tickling to make you laugh

You guys have laughing fits that turn to silent laughs that cannot stop no matter what

He's sitting on the couch, you're sitting on the armrest and he has an arm eraped around your waist and you're messing up his hair

Adding little braids or just running your hands through his hair

He has been forced to sit there multiple times as you try out hairstyles on him and add shit into his hair

Flowers, pins, everything and anything but he sits there

It's so cute too because when you do you're usually sitting in front of him, his hands like on your thighs as you hold his face

Especially in the mornings when you guys have to get up

You guys have been found just leaning on each other like that almost asleep and it's a goal for me

You guys are constantly laughing as quiet as you can in interviews

Will answer questions about you in interviews as long as they aren't personal

You guys like to keep your relationship to yourself

Giving little things to the media

When you guys first started dating or were in the crushes stage you had a dating scandal

You guys entertained it as "friends" but actually turned into a relationship somehow after getting shit-faced and ending up in the same hotel room

Mission failed successfully

Naps in the back of the tour bus as elite with this man

You have your legs in his lap, or he's laying on you or you guys are just tangled together

But somehow it's so comforting

Gives the best hugs and they're so comforting especially if you're going through a hard time

Georg can read you so well in your relationship sometimes it's scary

Arguments with him aren't always crazy, usually very calm but little bickering but you guys always figure it out

You guys have a very healthy relationship as he is not willing to let it turn toxic or lose you

He can calm you down no matter what

When you're crying, upset or angry he can always calm you down by just grabbing your hand

He loves when you mess with his fingers btw

You guys have matching little accessories, like bracelets or shit like that

Not full on matching styles unless you force him too

Willing to do whatever for you out of love

He's so smart also it's scary

He can act like a dumbass one moment and be Einstein the next

Be careful man

Hand on your hip to guide you through crows or the small of your back

Little touches like that are always the best with Georg

He likes when you do anything with your appearance, not that he doesn't think you're beautiful he just likes how you express yourself through your style, makeup or if you dye your hair

Will help you do that all the time if you want

Cooking with this man is chaotic and scary at the same time

Type to act annoyed with you but secretly loved it

Once carried you over his shoulders because it rained and you didn't want to get your shoes, expensive and your favorite shoes, wet in the puddle

Carried you the way because he was not about to let you do that

Lazy mornings with him are always the best

He's so boyfriend and husband oml

[leavethemtorot]

you can forget about all the the things you've done (but what about the rest of us?)

Once again talking about cannibalism. A lot of research went into this so I hope yall enjoy

Warnings: Mentions of Cannibalism, uses of bone

Rosie sat there, baskets by her side and fingers braiding rope. Yet even as her body stayed busy, her mind wandered. Thinking of the beans and potatoes that were ready to harvest, of the clothing that needed to be dyed and mended, of all the things that needed to be finished before the chill settled in and began killing the plants. She would have to go help shortly, but until the trades happened she could sit here, braid, and think.

A branch snapped.

The song on her lips that she had barely been aware of suddenly stopped. As she looked up at the potential threat, she smiled. It was only Gene.

“Good morning, Gene. You’re early for once. Maeve hasn’t even come by yet.”

“Hey Rosie, wasn’t expecting you today. Where’s Sarah or David?”

“Resting. It’s going to be one of the last warm days, so there is much to do. I’m turning nine soon which means I must pull my weight.”

She picked up one of the baskets, motioning for Gene to sit before going through what was in the basket. Rope, potatoes, garlic, onions, mushrooms, a few pieces of mended clothing, mushrooms, and a rare jar of pickles. All spread across 3 baskets just for Gene.

“The information and equipment you dropped off was so helpful, David wanted to make sure you got a bit more this time. No blankets or mats are finished yet, maybe in a week or two?”

Gene blinked, shocked by the surprising amount of crops the group was giving up. The cannibals were typically far more stingy with their food, only giving rope, some blankets, and dye in excess. They must’ve really been able to get supplies with the knowledge of the barge shift. 

“I- Thank you Rosie. And pass my thanks to Sarah and David as well. Here.”

She handed over the two baskets he had been carrying. Inside was scraps and coils of hair, paper, bandages, a few pieces of glass, and the hard earned treasure of 3 medical needles. It always paid off to treat the clan well. They had somehow figured out how to grow a few crops despite only rotten food coming onto the Isle and the barren dirt preventing everyone else from growing. Oh sure the Mims had figured out some things, but mainly used them for their drug supply.

There’s a few members who ze had always been glad weren’t deemed as traders or negotiators. Rosie’s father for instance, the Horned King still had a reputation from his actions when the Isle had first formed. People still have the scars and memories of the lives lost. But Rosie? She has only been nice and actually has a head for negotiations. It’s such a shame that unless she leaves she will never realize her full potential.

Rosie’s eyes widened as she suddenly reached into her skirt, pulling out a beautifully carved knife.

“Oh, I almost forgot. This is for you.”

Gene swallowed before plastering on a smile and grabbing the bone dagger. It was long with a heavy point and clearly well crafted, but there was no doubt in cos’s mind that it was made from human bone. It knew distantly that bone made several tools, that they would be sustainable for the group, and when broken could be used for other tools. Ae had even used a bone tool with sie’s father, but that had been animal bone, not- not human.

“Thank you.” The slight hesitation and uneasiness wasn’t entirely missed by the young girl, but she persisted nevertheless.

“You make sure to take care of us, you deserve to be protected.”

She smiled at the other before her head shot in a different direction. The faint sound of someone approaching, someone or something heavy.

“You best be on your way, Maeve approaches. You have tried so hard to not be seen and it wouldn't be prudent to be caught now.”

Gene nodded before standing with all of the treasure’s they had been bestowed with before disappearing into the night. Xe would return within a few weeks most likely seeking new blankets for zir’s ever growing refuges. But until them, per’s trades will be well utilized within her clan.

Rosie could only grin as the sound of a wheelbarrow grew closer. New blood. Or better yet Maeve has brought bodies. Perfect.

[vikenticomeshome]

Cyberchase: Cool Starmaker

This is Cool Starmaker. He was introduced in Season 8 Episode 3 "Peace, Love, and Hackerness". He's a businessman in the area public relations. He's here to help villains who have lost their reputations gain them back and become feared figures again.

Since we are in Season 8, The Hacker's many losses to actual children have led to villain decay. Only a very small percentage of citizens in Cyberspace are scared of him. So, of course, The Hacker is interested in his services.

Yes, his name is a bit cheesy, but I like his design. Hacker has his big puffed-out chest, tapering down to a thin waist. Meanwhile, Starmaker is quite overweight. The Hacker has his simple outfit with his white shirt with his pocket full of pens, his purple cape, and his black bowtie. Meanwhile, Starmaker has a black shirt, dark blue slacks, an orange tie, and a sport-coat that matches his slacks. He has a gold ring on one of his pinky fingers. He has black-framed glasses with tinted lenses. He has a cane with some gold on it. However, he does seem to lean on it, so it serves a purpose beyond showing off his wealth.

This man doesn't run around all over Cyberspace stealing things, subjugating Cybersites, or causing chaos directly. No, he's apparently a legitimate businessman. His clients come to him. He gives them their starpower back, and they go off and make use of it. He's still a bad man, but he can hardly be held criminally responsible for what his clients do.

He also seems on the older side as borgs go. he has visible gray hair showing at his roots. There are products that can help dye grey hair to make someone look younger, and there are even products that allow you to keep a little gray, as a way to show both experience and youthful energy at the same time. I think his hair normally has more grey in it, and he's covering that up.

The Hacker comes to him at a low point, as a radio poll shows that only 4% of Cyberspace still considers him scary. It's a far cry from the early seasons.

However, Cool Starmaker has a plan. He gets a news crew in position to witness The Hacker commit a crime.

Yeah, I'm not sure how that doesn't count Cool Starmaker as being part of a criminal conspiracy. Yes, The Hacker just destroyed a radio antenna, but it's worse than that. This groovy music kept the "rebooter bees" working at the computer chip factory. Without new pollination for the computer chips, all of Cyberspace will shut down.

Cool Starmaker is delighted to be part of The Hacker's impending Apocalypse.

This made me think of the movie "The Fifth Element". You have the Great Evil coming to destroy everything, and then you have the businessman Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg who wants the Great Evil to destroy everything because that will somehow be profitable for him.

But why does Cool Starmaker look so much like The Hacker? Are they brothers or something?

Does this explain how The Hacker has his niece, Harmony? Does this explain how Digit has his cousin, Brigit?

I like the Cool Starmaker. However, he seems like a one-off character. His whole business rests on bringing washed-up villains back to popularity. So, if he came back, he would just be doing the same thing again. Then again, Baskerville also seemed pretty one-note in his original appearance, as a cheap henchman who was more menacing than Buzz and Delete, despite not doing much. And yet, he came back a few times.

[kekaki-cupcakes]

I dare you - Leo V x gn child of Nike/Reader

part three

┈┈┈┈┈◦•✩•◦┈┈┈┈┈

Leo knew he wasn’t a scary person, but somehow everyone in bunker 9 cleared out as soon as he announced he was having a ‘build off’ with a Nike kid. On second thought, maybe it wasn’t him. 

That was obvious when the large stone door swung open and a figure stood, fuming, and framed by the afternoon sun behind them. “Valdez!”

The last of the Hephestus cabin, and Butch, who was melding pegasi shoes, packed up their toolboxes and left as Leo shrunk back. He held up his hands in defense, which only seemed to make it worse. “What did I do?”

“What are you wearing?” They hissed, grabbing his wrists and shaking them violently. Their hands were scarred and calloused, like his. 

“Uh, what I usually wear- “ Leo looked down at his outfit, and then looked back at his hands. “Oh! You mean the bracelets, yeah, Drew found me this morning. Totally thought she was gonna try and dye my hair green again, but she gave me a friendship bracelet instead!” 

 “Now that I think about it, friendship bracelets are more concerning than the hair dye, actually…” His eyes narrowed in suspicion, and then flickered to the hands still grabbing his. “Wait, you have one too?”

His lips split into a wicked grin. “No way…”

He was met with a firm shake of their head. “Nuh, uh, she’s an idiot- take it off now Valdez-”

“No, I'm keeping this forever, back off!” Leo hissed back, leaning forward and clasping his hands tight behind his back. He ignored the way his heart rate started to go up, which definitely had nothing to do with their proximity. 

“I hate you!”

“But we’re besties now, we even have the bracelets to prove it!” He said with a wink, and turned back to the bench, hoping to hide the blush gathering on his cheeks. 

There was a silence in which he listened to bitter mutterings behind him, and when there was no sign of them getting over it, he sighed. He wasn’t annoyed though,  for some reason they made him… less then angry. “What are we building?”

“Now, this may surprise you,” They started in a casual tone, and he watched them roll their lips in and press their fingertips together. “But… I don’t know how to build shit.”

“Le gasp.” Leo said monotonously, and swung around, raising a brow. “Really? I never would have guessed, it’s not like you spend all your time trying to stab me, doing your sister’s hair, and eating strawberries!”

“Hey, I can eat more strawberries than you!” They shot back, scrunching their nose up in a way that made Leo want to smooth it out with his finger. 

“Okay, well… I can use a drill,” He stuck his tongue out. “So there.” 

“Just tell me what to make, Valdez.” They ordered, and sidled up beside him at the workbench. 

He had a half finished blueprint and a few wooden joints, but he pushed them to the side and stuffed them into drawers quickly, waving a hand. “Okay, okay, chillax, segundo lugar.”

“The fuck does that mean.”

“...Nothing.”

“Oh really?” They asked sarcastically, hands on their hips. “Just like what we’re doing right now, then.”

“Fine, make a- a- make a… Fidget spinner.” Leo snapped his fingers quickly with a smirk, and then leaned in. “I dare you.”

┈┈┈┈┈◦•✩•◦┈┈┈┈┈

Leo could have made a fidget spinner in about five minutes if he wanted to, using the scraps of metal from his toolbelt and the fire in his fingertips. Instead, he grabbed machinery off the rack, cut materials out of spare sheets of metal in the scrap bin, and finally learnt how to use the welding pit. 

It wasn’t so he’d win, which he knew, but he had to do everything slow enough so that his ‘opponent’ could pretend to not watch, and then copy him a few minutes later. Of course, he could see every mistake, blunder, and fault, but he didn’t say anything, just silently itched to fix it from a meter away. He had grabbed copper, leftover from Butch’s pegasi shoes, but when they reached for aluminum, which he knew would crumble by the time it got to the circular saw, he had to swap it out when they looked away. 

Thankfully they didn’t notice, he didn’t want them to feel bad about knowing absolutely nothing. Still, he had to intervene when they moved to the circular saw. It was a matter of safety, really. 

He bounced on teh balls of his feet a few times and then wandered over casually as they held their fidget spinner shaped sheet of copper in a way that would surely cut their fingers off. He peered over their shoulder, “I can just-”

“No, I can do it!” They shot back, but there was no spite as they lined it up in the completely wrong spot, and reached for the big green button on the side of the machine. 

Leo grabbed their hand tightly before they got their own sawed off in less then a second, and pulled it away from the button.“But you’ll-”

“I can do it myself.”

“But you don’t have to,” Leo answered, his quiet. He could relate, a little bit, to feeling like you had to do everything yourself, that you couldn’t ask for help. That was until Piper and Jason knocked some sense into his head. He grinned up at them, “this isn’t life or death, silly.”

He watched their expression shift a few times, and then their shoulders untensed and they glanced to the side. “...Fine.”

“See, just hold it like this.” Leo hadn’t realized he was still holding their hand, but he became very aware when he moved it over and shifted their fingers around the small metal sheet. 

Their hands were littered with scars and indents from the wrappings lots of demigods used when Clarrise got the punching bags out. They were also warm, and he had to blink a few times and clear his throat, before sliding the fidget spinner cut out into place. 

“Right.” They breathed, watching him intently. 

“That’s better.” When he pressed the green button, nothing happened. He frowned, cocking his head. “Why isn’t it working?”

“Ha!” They barked with a grin, letting go of the metal and folding their arms across their chest triumphantly. “I knew it wasn’t me!”

Leo fucked under the machine and followed a trail of wires and extension cords to the powerpoint. “The powerpoints off. I’ll just, okay got it-”

He sat back up after he’d switched the power back on, and bumped his head hard on the tray that was supposed to hold the metal they were sawing, he reached up to his throbbing head, rocking back on his heels. “Fuck!”

The circular saw tipped a little as he moved out of the way, in his direction. Through his watering eyes, he watched the spinning blade drop towards him. Then a hand grabbed it with lightning speed instead. 

There was the sound of tearing paper, or something along those lines, as Leo scrambled out of the way. When he blinked again, the machine was still spinning around on the ground, with a dark red splatter on the ground next to it, and white lumps in the mix. 

Then he saw their face, wide eyes and head lolling back a little as they stared at what was left of their hand. Their vagued out eyes flicked to the mess on the concrete floor, and they gulped. 

“...Please tell me that’s just a squashed strawberry.”

[ hey @blue-violin I thought you might wanna be tagged in this <;3]

[surveillance-0011]

Hey what if I *draws your alien that hates humans as humans* lol

These are all a little old (from jan-march) but save for giblets I feel like I’ve got everyone pinned down nicely. Notes under the cut!! Don’t repost, feel free to tell me what you think 💕

1-2: Krubis. I hope you see my vision here. Mostly just trying to figure out if I like this hair texture for him or if I go curlier. I’m set for his work outfit though and I like the idea of him wearing glasses or shades 24/7. But yknow. I think this captures his essence. This is the sort of person he is in my eyes.

The second doodle is kind of rushed but I think in a human au maybe he’d forgo a prosthetic in most circumstances. Hell I think if he can remove the drill at all in canon then he does so when it comes to paperwork and shit. I think he was born without the arm so hes learnt to get by without any sort of prosthetic. I need to do more research into the matter though

3: Douglas. The shorter cut is more in character but I do like the (VERY SPLATOON INSPIRED BTW) braid idea. I think he’s on the younger side alongside the Skrendels? But also he’s very baby faced I think. To mirror the whole “actually Douglas was the silly blue goober the whole time” thing

4: Dr. Giblets. As I said before this sketch is a bit old but I did touch it up. A bit too lanky his face needs to be rounder. I think he’s the oldest of the officers maybe older than Garm. Probably? Not by much. Also 5 Torg in the corner but I didn’t like how she came out so she’ll be in the next batch of whatever 💔💔💔

5: Angela + Jonathan in armor bc for a human/more anthro au I think they’d all have these helmets that mirror the one big eye(and headcanons for what happens when they argue: Angela mediates between Jonathan and Mona, Jonathan does the same when Angela argues with Mona, and Mona just straight up leaves the two to beat the shit out of each other then tearfully apologize .). Also nipulon weezer blue.

6: Garmantuous. Idk if he should be bald or not. Also like 40? Could be a bit older maybe even younger… extra eyes HAVE TO be plugs though I have decided on this. I feel smart for this.

7: more Mona ^_^ more developed sketch of the same hc that he just dips if the other two ever argue + fem presenting alt design + probably what went through his head by the time the BH took out his other brothers during the fight. Also his hair would be bleached blonde 👍🏼 but all the Skrendels have very dark hair naturally.

(On that note: as mentioned before Krubis’s hair is all grey now to mirror the drill. Douglas not sure probably brown or strawberry blond/gingery but dyed blue. Giblets. Uh. Idk it’s pink ish but that way naturally somehow and greying obviously. Garm also blonde but probably bleached? And like I said Skrendels all have black or brown hair but Mona bleached his and Jonathan dyes his hair every now and then

[league-of-blorbos]

Hi, I write fanfiction sometimes but my biggest issue is that I'm very slow at it and I always end up leaving my half finished drafts to rot and never get posted. But I started writing this Heartsteel Yone fic in like 2 sittings and I really wanna try and finish it since I like the direction it's going.

It's mainly about my transfem Yone headcanon and them struggling with both dysphoria and the music industry, and maybe lead it into some Aluyone content since I love that ship in this au. While what I have is just set up for how Yone first met the band, I would LOVE any feedback on stuff I could improve or just some motivation to help me finish this draft.

(One last note, I'm referring to Yone with he/him so far but the pronouns will change later in the story as Yone sorts their gender out more)

Yone had very strict parents growing up. He knew it ultimately came from a place of love, but sometimes it was like they kept raising their expectations for him as soon as he started to get close to meeting them. When most looked at the two brothers, they would never guess Yone was the only one their parents had to constantly pull back in line while they never seemed too concerned about what his brother, Yasuo, was doing. Maybe it was because Yone always did better in school as a kid and had more potential in their eyes, or their parents had just long given up on trying to keep their younger son in check when he was always on the move. Whatever the case was, it felt like Yone’s parents wanted a say in everything he did, from trying to push him towards a more “respectable” career than music, to not allowing him to to buy the more gaudy and revealing clothes that he admired. It took so much convincing to even grow his hair out long and dye it, his mother telling Yone how handsome he looked with short hair, or his dad warning him that others would think he’s a woman. Of course, they relented after Yasuo also started growing his hair out to support his brother. 

Needless to say, Yone was relieved when he finally built up enough money from gigs to move out, and was able to have a bit more freedom in his self-expression. He wasn’t even completely sure why having long hair or pretty outfits meant so much to him, he just knew it somehow felt natural when he brushed his fingers through his long locks, felt his ponytail swishing behind his back, or how clothes that brought out his slender figure made him stare at himself in the mirror for a little longer than usual. 

But Yone didn’t have the time to question these little things as his career quickly took off, and a lot of those familiar restrictions from Yone’s childhood started to return. Now he was stuck where the people he’d DJ for had specific requests for what to play, and he’d gotten big enough to have agents and managers that kept him from straying too far from the mainstream sound. On top of that, Yone still cared for his parent’s approval to a degree, even if he didn’t live under their roof, and didn’t want to squander any big opportunities just because he felt a little constrained. 

But as the bar everyone expected him to meet flew higher and higher, Yone felt all the restrictions growing tighter and tighter, weighing him down more and more. He felt he had barely any time and absolutely no energy to work on any passion projects, the actual experimental and groundbreaking music that got him into the scene in the first place. His frustration reached a breaking point after a particularly tiring show. The equipment kept acting up despite there being no issues during setup, Yone kept having to play the same few songs over and over, and the set had to be cut early after a drunk fan rushed the stage and tried to get handsy with him. Yone was on his way home, feeling irritated, violated, and just so fucking exhausted. 

The very last thing Yone wanted to do when he got back to his flat was argue with a stuck up manager over the phone who insisted he should’ve continued the show after the crazed fan was dealt with. With Yone’s mind not in the best headspace and absolutely sick of never getting to do things his way, he finally lost his cool and got into a shouting match with the agent that went well into the night. When he hung up, tears were streaming down Yone’s cheeks, and he couldn’t tell if they were from all the yelling or if they were from the relief of getting everything off his chest right at the people who, at this point, felt like they were just there to make things worse.

The relief was short lived, as the agent had quit the next morning, leaving Yone with no one to help him manage the business side of his job. 

Yone felt at his lowest possible point. Maybe his parents were right that this wasn’t the path he should’ve taken, and that he should’ve just stuck with his robotics classes. But that all changed one night, it was a rare night when both he and Yasuo had time to meet up and just chill together like they used to. Of course, with both of them being DJs, the siblings naturally talked about music often, and while discussing up-and-coming artists, Yasuo brought up a duo trying to start a group; their names were Sett and K’Sante. 

[i-am-too-sick]

I couldn't resist writing some good, ole canonverse sickfic. It's really just a drabble, and definitely much more fluff than anything, but I hope y'all enjoy!

Fandom: Percy Jackson

Nico was sick. He had been for a few days now, and somehow Will still managed to look after him between infirmary duties and regular camp activities.

Will suspected it was the flu, after all, Nico had all the telltale symptoms. Despite what anyone else would have guessed, Nico was a pretty easy patient, though Will figured it was because Nico was just too sick to be stubborn or argue with him.

Nico stayed to himself in his cabin, which was exactly where Will found him when he popped in one more with a plate of breakfast.

"Good morning, star shine," Will sang as he made his way to Nico's bedside. "I know you're probably not hungry, but you know, food will help you get your strength back."

"Actually, I could go for a bite of toast this morning," Nico replied, taking the plate from him.

Will's eyes lit up, relief dropping his shoulders as a smile split his face. Easy patient or no, getting Nico to nibble on anything over the last few days had been like pulling teeth. Will understood his boyfriend hadn't had an appetite, but that didn't mean Will wasn't going to just let him starve himself either.

Will climbed into bed beside him, his thoughts drifting as he let Nico eat his breakfast in peace. Will had loaded the plate with toast, scrambled eggs, and fresh strawberries from the fields, not sure what, if anything, Nico would be willing to eat.

"Are you okay?" Nico asked suddenly, shattering the easy silence between them.

"What do you mean?"

Now, Nico seemed nervous. "I don't know," he mumbled, looking down at his plate, habitually twisting the skull ring on his finger. "You seem different today. You're quiet."

"Oh." A small smile graced his lips. "I'm all right. Sorry if I worried you."

Nico looked up at him then. "You look tired." To make his point, he reached over and cupped Will's chin, using his thumb to trace the bags under his boyfriend's eyes.

Will closed his eyes, relishing in the soft touch. "I guess I am a little tired," he admitted softly.

"Rest. Sleep here," Nico encouraged, and Will could have sworn he was whispering in his ear. "They can handle the infirmary without you for a while..."

~

A while somehow turned into a few hours. Will hadn't realized just how exhausted he was until Nico coaxed him into laying down, and by then he was sure he was out before his head even hit the pillow.

A hand on his shoulder is what finally caused him to wake, the incessant and forceful shaking enough to rouse someone from the dead.

Will's eyelids fluttered open, though he immediately had to close them, groaning softly. Someone was standing before him, that much he had seen, but the room had seemed to swirl in a mixture of colors and patterns, enough to make him feel disoriented.

"Will!"

That definitely wasn't Nico's voice. He cracked his eyes open again, finding a much more stable environment. He was met with the stern gaze of a fiery redhead, her natural hair still green in places where the dye hadn't fully grown out yet. Her hands were on her hips, and if Will hadn't known any better, he might have suspected he'd done something to offend her.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, noticing his voice sounded a little gravelly.

"I could ask you the same thing," Kayla responded, though she sounded more annoyed than actually mad.

Will forced himself to the edge of the bed, dragging himself to an upright position, his legs dangling over the side.

"Ugh... Everything's spinning," he groaned, running a hand down his face.

"You've been overworking yourself again, haven't you?"

Will didn't answer her. She was probably right, in fact, Will was sure of it, but even after sleeping as long as he had, Will still felt completely drained of energy.

He felt the bed behind him shift. Then, there was a hand on his shoulder, and another one wrapped around to feel his forehead.

"You're running a fever." Nico.

"I don't feel so good..."

"We got that, doofus," Kayla said, and Will could just imagine her rolling her eyes.

"I feel bad," Nico said, and it took Will's sluggish brain to realize that Nico wasn't talking to him.

"Don't," Kayla replied. "This was bound to happen sometime, and if not this, then I'm sure he'd wind up catching something from someone else. At least now maybe you can convince him to rest."

"Shouldn't we at least let him sleep in his own cabin?"

"I think he'd prefer being with you, don't you think? Besides, we can try to confine the germs to one place. We don't need a flu epidemic right here at camp."

Will felt another hand on his face, the callused fingertips indicative of someone skilled in archery.

"I'll bring you guys some supplies from the infirmary," Kayla continued, before Will heard her retreating steps and the sound of a door closing.

Will felt warm breath and then Nico's chapped lips along the nape of his neck. It was enough to send a convulsive shiver down his spine. It was either that or the start of fever chills.

Nico chuckled. "Okay?" he asked. "You still with me?"

Will finally turned around to face him. Now they both had the telltale flush of fever on their cheeks, Will's eyes betraying the fatigue that came with the beginnings of illness.

"Sorry," he breathed, apologizing for being so spacey. "My head feels funny, like I'm floating."

Nico's face turned sympathetic. "It's really hitting you hard, huh?" He tucked a stray curl behind Will's ear, leaning in to kiss his exposed cheek. "Lay down with me."

Will obliged, moving slowly to accommodate the ache in his muscles. He snuggled right up to Nico, curling up like a cat.

"Do you need me to get you anything?" Nico asked, stroking back Will's hair.

"You really shouldn't be getting out of bed," Will countered.

Nico's next laugh morphed into a dry cough. "Neither should you, now. You need to rest."

Will hummed, still sleepy despite having slept practically the entire morning. "We're pathetic, aren't we?"

"No," Nico snorted, "we're sick. If that makes me pathetic, then at least I get to be pathetic with you."

Will craned his neck, looking up at his boyfriend with a grin on his tired face. "Has anyone ever told you you're a real sap when you're sick?"

Nico pinched Will's thigh. "Zip it, Solace," he said, obviously embarrassed rather than upset. "Just go to sleep already."

"Yes, sir."

It didn't take long for Will to drift off. Based on his experience with Nico over the last few days, Will knew what was in store for him when he woke up later. But if he had to be stuck in bed and sick, at least he knew he wasn't alone.

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Smut - Mirror Sex Masterlist

close enough to you (ao3) - irwah calum/ashton E, 5k

Summary: “But can’t we, like, just for tonight?”

Calum eyes Ashton warily, realising just how many drinks he must have had. It’s so unlike the boy to go against his own words, his own morals.

“I just, I really want you, Cal.”

Hot Dog And Milkshake (ao3) - im_just_a_sucker_for_bromance luke/ashton E, 2k

Summary: It was the first day of their new tour and Ashton was freaking out. Luke took it up to him to try and calm his best friend down. By calming down, Luke had other things in mind; things that Ashton could not even think of. Ashton could still remember that day when he had gone to Michael’s house for the first time to meet up with the guys. They were introducing themselves and Luke had said ‘hey I’m Luke and I like hotdog and milkshake’, causing Michael and Calum to snicker behind their hands. After so many years, Ashton had finally understood what that had meant.

i know you're broken, so let me fix you (ao3) - vlossoms michael/luke E, 2k

Summary: the one where Luke fucks Michael against a mirror to show him how pretty he is.

Karma’s a Relaxing Thought (Aren’t You Envious That for You It’s Not?) (ao3) - Anonymous luke/ashton E, 2k

Summary: Ashton sighs again, “No. It was me trying to be discreet. But I guess that failed.” He drums his fingers on his thigh in thought. “It was sexual, Luke. In fact, it was a wet dream - I had a fucking wet dream.” In his neurodivergent trainwreck of a brain, Ashton believes that truth is embarrassing. He shouldn’t feel ashamed or have any kind of negative sentiment, yet he does.

(Or where Ashton has a wet dream and tells Luke all about it. Luke makes it a reality.)

Late - @daydadahlias​​​ (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) luke/calum E, 9k

Summary: Calum loves when Luke comes over late. When Luke comes over late, he has to stay the night.

Moisturizer (ao3) - im_just_a_sucker_for_bromance luke/ashton E, 3k

Summary: The first time it happened, it was in a bathroom. Since Luke was horny again, he decided why not make it a second time. They were busy writing and recording but Luke had found a way to squeeze that in their schedule and this time, he was better prepared. Basically, it was inspired by Luke's moisturizer tweet.

Reflections (ao3) - punchinginadream luke/ashton M, 4k

Summary: Ashton doesn’t like his body. Luke decides to fuck him in front of a mirror to show him how beautiful he really is.

So Kiss Me Where I Lay Down (ao3) - FranticFangirl michael/luke T, 3k

Summary: It’s not like Michael was sly or smooth about it, hell, every other person in his life had already figured it out. Calum knew, Ashton knew, Michael’s mother knew, Calum, Ashton and Luke’s mothers all knew. He was pretty sure that even his pets knew, but somehow Luke managed to remain more adorably oblivious to Michael’s crush than a damn poodle, and Michael didn’t know whether to be impressed or concerned by that.

Or, the one when Michael has a crush on Luke, Luke helps him dye his hair, and then they have sex. Oh, also Luke is a girl.

Tie That Binds - @ashtcnirwin (elivigar) Luke/Ashton E, 98k

Summary: In which Luke wants to explore miscellaneous kinks and Ashton strikes him as a good candidate to do said exploring with with.

too hot to handle (ao3) - orphan_account luke/calum E, 11k

Summary: Just nearly 12k of cake smut I wrote when really horny.

when the party ends (ao3) - galacticsugar luke/calum E, 30k

Summary: Sadly, Calum is going to have to buy this bottle of wine. Is he torturing himself unnecessarily? Definitely. He can’t even really make himself feel pathetic about it, though. He’s fully aware of what he’s doing. Of why he misses Luke so much. Of why drinking this wine alone in his apartment is a bad idea. Even without Luke actually being present, Calum is using him.

a heaven, iowa songfic.

Work Out (ao3) - im_just_a_sucker_for_bromance luke/ashton E, 3k

Summary: When Luke had walked into the dressing room, he had thought he would be alone but he was surprised when he found Ashton there; Ashton, who was supposed to be anywhere but there. Although Ashton claimed he was feeling sick, Luke knew it was something else, something that was right up his alley, and he took it up to him to help Ashton.